#and the guy who i gave it to was like what why are you bringing it in already

[disneyprincemuke]

the math homework problem * fem!driver

the rookie needs help with some math homework to stay in the scene and there is only one person around here who could help him

pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver, george russell x fem!driver, kimi antonelli x fem!driver, max verstappen x fem!driver

notes: whoa noelle actually remembered rocky's existence? that's crazy

(series masterlist) | (📂 2025: fall from grace)

“math homework?” george raises an eyebrow as he looks down at his rookie. “you’re still in school?”

kimi presses his lips together, nodding. he drops his head and avoids the older driver’s judgemental gaze. “yeah. do you think you can help me later on?” he asks softly. he scratches the back of his neck and looks up. “come on. please?”

george blinks. “mate.”

the back of the truck is starting to get crowded, drivers like max and oscar hopping on as they engage in conversation. kimi notices this and takes a step closer to george, clearly embarrassed at his predicament.

he’d been so caught up with his first race weekend that he’d completely forgotten about his math homework.

“i’m serious,” kimi frowns. “it’s the only condition i had to fulfil to be able to drive in f1 this year.”

george is barely a graduate himself — why is his rookie asking for his help, exactly? george appreciates that his rookie thinks so highly of him. however, it’s just the wrong person to depend on academically. “finish your homework every weekend?”

“yeah, and keep my grades decent,” kimi admits through gritted teeth, “and i can’t do that if i’m barely keeping up with my math homework.”

george purses his lips. surely, there’s someone here that could help with said math homework. but who, exactly? he lifts his head and scans the back of the bus, thinking… and thinking…

“max!” george calls out, before he quickly beckons the dutch over to where he is. “i’ve got a question.”

max exchanges a worried stare with oscar as they cut their conversation short, before he walks over to george. “i swear if you called me over to show your rookie a fight-”

“kimi needs help with his math homework.”

kimi sighs, dropping his head low in embarrassment. sure, he is the youngest on the grid. but not more people need to know about his struggles with math.

“ah, mate,” max hisses as he shakes his head. “i’m not your guy for that.”

he turns around and beckons oscar over to where they stand. “oscar, we need your help.”

oscar hums curiously as he sips on his water bottle. “sure, what is it?”

“math homework,” george simply says as he points at the younger driver now pulling his jacket up to cover his flushed cheeks.

the smile on oscar’s face drops. “you’re still in school?”

“yes, i am. thank you for pointing that out,” kimi grimaces. “seriously? surrounded by 3 men who can’t help me with math homework?”

the longer they surround him, the harder he finds it to believe that not one person amongst them can offer him any aid. it’s just high school math. it might even be easier if they gave him a simple ‘no’.

“i used to get suspended for skipping homework for races,” oscar frowns. “i’m sorry, i’m not your guy for said math homework.”

“math homework?” logan pops up behind oscar, tilting his head. “that’s easy-”

“he will bring your average down,” oscar mutters.

logan rolls his eyes. “not me,” logan grins. he puffs his chest. “i know just the person who can help you with that.”

“sure, let’s let more people know that i’m bad at math!” kimi feigns a cheer, pumping his fists into the air. “should we get the media involved so they can tell the whole world too?”

“no,” logan scoffs, waving off the younger driver’s concerns. “trust me.”

oscar purses his lips and tilts his head. “i doubt you should trust-”

logan puts a hand up to silence oscar. he grins at kimi. “seriously. trust me.”

“oh, come on,” max calls out as he throws his hands in the air. “you can’t say no to this, can you?”

she folds her arms over her chest and nods, a wide smile on her face. “yes, i can.” she turns on her heel and starts to walk away. “watch as i do exactly that.”

kimi starts to get worried. he turns to logan, standing next to him, with a frown.

he is so going to get suspended for a weekend for not doing his homework. and god, it was the only condition for him to start racing so early, too.

he couldn’t even comply with that?

logan pats his back as he rushes forward, blocking off the young girl from straying too far from them. “he’ll buy you ice cream.”

“what?” kimi cried incredulously, arms in the air in despair. “i-”

max shakes his head, cutting kimi off. “do you want your math help or not?” kimi nods. “then be quiet.”

she raises an eyebrow as she keeps her sceptical stare on logan. “udders?”

“he’s a rookie, mate,” oscar finally steps forward, joining logan at his position. “he can’t afford to import ice cream just for you.”

she shrugs. “that’s too bad.”

she starts to walk off again. frankly, she would have helped for free. but with the past couple of weeks she’s been having, she is simply not in the mood to interact with anyone. much less relive the traumas of math homework as a full-grown adult.

it’s just not in the list of things that she wants to do this year.

“you don’t wanna see a good driver benched over homework, do you?” max tries to chase for her, grabbing her arm to gently yank her back. “come on.”

she looks over her shoulder and glances at the teen, awkwardly standing with his hands by his side. “maybe i do.”

“i did not think that would backfire at all,” max mutters under his breath. he takes a step back and sighs.

george nods, “completely understandable. have a good day, mate.”

oscar drops his head and hands in disbelief. has his best friend grown to be so cold over the winter break they spent apart?

“he’ll get you pepsi,” max calls out in a desperate attempt to get the rookie his much-needed help. the girl turns around and presses her lips together. “any soda you want.”

kimi nods frantically, a small smile spreading his lips. “any drink you want.”

she lets a moment pass. she turns around and faces kimi, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “fine. meet me at my garage later with a can of ice-cold pepsi.” she narrows her eyes and turns to start walking off once again. “i will turn you away if it’s not ice-cold.”

kimi turns to the group of older drivers. “where the hell am i going to get that?”

“i’ve got you, mate.”

— bonus

sebastian sighs, walking into the garage. he lifts his gaze from the ground and tilts his head at the sight: his driver is rocking back and forth on her seat, looking intensely at a piece of paper with a pen between her teeth.

he glances at the matt, sitting next to her, who shrugs in return.

“what are you doing, rocky?” sebastian calls out as he approaches her, eyes squinting as he tries to decipher what she’s doing. “is that-”

“kimi’s homework,” she mutters as she promptly writes something down on the paper.

sebastian gasps and opens his mouth to scold her. she waves her hand in the air to dismiss his concerns. “i’m helping solve it so i can teach him later. i’m not doing it for him.”

he audibly sighs. “okay. remember you’re paid to be a driver, not a tutor.”

“it could start to be my side hustle. you know,” she grimaces, "if the driving thing doesn't work out this year."

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @mclarengf @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool

[n3ptoonz]

'Political Animals'

Pairing: Congressman!Bucky/F!Reader

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Warnings/tags: Smut, Explicit; pre-Thunderbolts, ADULTERY! (reader has a wack husband), COCKY BUCKY COCKY BUCKY, PLOT HEAVY, dirty talk, desk sex, reader is the secretary of state, cunnilingus, fingering, refers to your vag in third person (i can't stop doing this), squirting, f!multiple orgasms, cum as lube, exhibitionism if you squint, use of "baby" and "sweetheart", use of titles, breeding kink if you squint, inspired by the show he was in called political animals :3c, half proofread

Word count: 3.1k

The Congressman has known you for a while now. Even before he stepped into the political realm, he knew who you were and actually looked forward to crossing paths whenever possible. He'd be lying to himself if he said he didn't have a crush on you. He was a sucker for people who fought tooth and nail for what was right.

However, it was just a little under a year until your term was over, and there were lingering rumors about you running for president against the very man you work for. It was bold, but that's what drives this nation, no? Everything was on hush-hush, especially because you know your husband--if you could really call him that--would throw a fit if he merely heard about it.

Politics was your life. You lived and breathed diplomacy. You were practically nothing if you weren't leaping at the opportunity to help those in need by any means necessary.

Two soft knocks came to your office door before your assistant poked his head in.

"Madam Secretary," he prompted with a small smile. "You have a visitor. He says it wasn't an appointment but he wanted to speak with you."

Your head tilted as you tried to think of who'd show up to the White House unannounced like that. "Did he give you a name?"

"Congressman Barnes." he answered. "The one with the metal-"

"I know who he is," you said with a growing smile, secretly glad you weren't busy this time around. "Send him in."

You've interacted with him a handful of times when you went down to the Capitol. Not only for trying to get a bill passed/when handling foreign affairs, but sometimes you went down there when you were invited to events. Usually by the Congressman. He was always an interesting man to you, given his past and how he ended up here with buttoned up assholes. However, he warmed up to you almost instantly.

"Madam Secretary." he said, his voice practically bounced off the walls over that door shut, snapping you out of it as you stood to shake his hand.

"Congressman. What brings you by?" you asked him and gestured for him to take a seat in front of your desk. "I didn't peg you as the kind of guy who shows up unannounced."

"Force of habit." he shrugged and tried to put humor to how it was true, he was used to just rolling up on people without saying anything. "Old habits die hard."

"Right," you sat back down and leaned forward on your elbows while watching his eyes. You didn't miss the way his eyes darted back up from your covered chest to your face. "That still doesn't answer my question."

What was in the air today, nobody knows, but Bucky was feeling it. He hadn't openly flirted with someone since Sarah, and that might've just been out of spite to Sam for fun. But you were real deal. He had to tread lightly but make it known he wasn't a punk.

"Maybe I just wanted to visit. I was in the neighborhood and thought 'Why not stop by the White House?'"

"Barnes." you half-warned. You hated the cat and mouse game, you didn't have time for all that. He said your surname, married surname and caught the subtle cringe in your face when he said it.

Noted.

"Well, I just wanted to know...is it true?"

You gave him a puzzled look as if you didn't already know what he was talking about. "I don't follow."

He narrowed his eyes at you and rested his chin on his fist. You're lying to him. Did you not trust him with such sensitive information? Was it not official yet? Were you having second thoughts?

"Madam President." he dared with a slow blink at you. A warmth crept up your neck as those words fell from his lips. It was your first time hearing it be said aloud other than you or your supportive assistant entertaining the idea.

You chuckled lightly and shrugged. "I don't know where you heard that. Perhaps journalist gossip isn't a reliable source, Barnes."

"Bucky." he stated.

You blinked a few times. "I'm sorry?"

"Just 'Bucky' is fine when we're alone." he insisted. This was a dangerous game he was playing and yet he didn't feel an ounce of shame or fear. Your brows furrowed at his tone and leaned back into your chair.

"I'm married."

"Happily?" he asked in a softer tone. And there it was, that timeless charm and wit that never left. The same charm that had the ladies swooning and fanning themselves in the 40s. He still got it.

Bold. Real bold, Buck.

You huffed an incredulous laugh through your nose and sighed. He's got you there, you had to admit. But you won't do that out loud. That was highly unprofessional. Even if you had thought about it at least once...tw...enty times...

You'd be lying if you said you didn't develop a little something for the man. He brought a fresh vibe to the political scene. A former deadly assassin joins congress and obviously doesn't know what the hell he's doing. It was... honestly kinda cute. And you'd be remiss if you didn't take note on how handsome he is. That slick back will do it every time.

"You're bold," you said looking him up and down. "Bucky." saying his nickname subconsciously felt like you stepped into a room you didn't know you had access to. Like the door was open the entire time. It was like a silent acceptance of some sort, but you didn't know of what.

The side of his mouth quirked upwards in satisfaction. He's got you.

"I mean, I'm just letting you know you'd have my vote." he said as he stood up and pretended to smooth out his blazer. "If the rumors are true, of course."

You stood up with him but neither of you moved. The tension in the room was suddenly palpable.

"And if they aren't?" you said. Not to burst his bubble, but you can never be too sure about someone using your title to get ahead.

"Then that'd be a damn shame. Who's to say you wouldn't have a leg up when trying to get a bill passed?"

You let out a genuine laugh. Not at him, but you really weren't expecting him to say that. So confidently too.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. It's just, I mean your heart's in the right place but that's not how it works."

Bucky didn't take any offense to it at all. He was aware he was just firing off whatever he could to get a reaction out of you. That and he was still fresh in that chair, so it was fair that you knew way more than him.

"Yeah?" he said, his voice somehow getting lower and smoother with one word uttered. "Mind showing me how it works?"

Never in his time has he ever used his charm, let alone openly flirted with a married woman who was clearly not happy in her marriage. He took a shot in the dark with a faint light at the end of the tunnel.

The ball was in your court. Though this wasn't that hard of a decision considering the fact that you've been cheated on before and had to suck it up for appearances. You slowly rounded your desk, dragging your finger along the edge and letting your clacking heels fill the deafening silence in the room.

"Well," you began as your eyes glided up his chest, and you were just now noticing his muscles straining against the thin fabric of his dress shirt. You stood in front of him and lightly tugged his tie towards you. A hint of a smirk on his lips as he let it happen.

"First, a bill is introduced and assigned to a committee for review," you said while undoing the tie and tossing it onto your desk. Then you went to undo the buttons while keeping your eyes on him. "If approved by the committee, it's voted on by the House. If passed, it moves to the Senate."

Bucky shrugged off his blazer along with his shirt and took a step forward so your butt hit the front of the desk, leaving him in a white tank top. He leaned forward with his hands on either side of you, effectively trapping you there as you sat on the edge with him between your legs.

"What happens if it's not passed by the House?" he asked as he took your hand and slowly kissed your palm a couple of times.

"Then you're shit out of luck." you caressed his cheekbone as you replied. "But the Senate can then consider, amend, and vote on the bill. If the House and Senate pass identical versions of the bill, it's sent to the President for approval."

"And that's where you come in." he murmured. He was so close you could feel his breath on your lips. "The gracious and headstrong Madam President of our nation, passing laws for the greater good."

"You make it sound so easy."

"It's fuckin' sexy is what it is," he whispered before capturing your lips. Your soft laugh turned soft moan when his cold metal hand met the hot skin of your thigh under your skirt. The hand that rested on his cheek snaked around to the nape of neck to pull him closer, if possible.

He pulled away and licked his lips, looking drunk on just kissing you. His left hand pushed your skirt up further while his right spread your thighs. His eyes never left yours as two fingers glided over your slit through your panties. You inhaled sharply as your thighs naturally spread more in response to his touch.

It was clear to the both of you that it had been such a long time since you've been touched like this. With an already high demanding job and a shitty husband, you were stuck with occasionally sitting at a certain angle in your chair after hours.

"Oh, poor thing," he muttered and kept rubbing, silently daring you to look away. "Too many nights of being left to your own devices, hm? Look at how she weeps to be taken care of properly." he whispered, earning a soft whine from you, given that you were wetter than you thought. A simple rub up against you like this made the pit of your stomach tight.

Bucky hooked his fingers around the band and pulled them down with ease before sinking to his knees. He kissed up your legs and removed your heels. The only thing on his mind was if he was going to successfully get you to cheat, forget about your shit husband even for a little while, he was going to make it worth your time. Make it so if you ever decided to fuck your man again, it'd be spoiled by the fact that it wasn't him. Should you ever cuddle up with him again, you'd wish it was Bucky.

Once his mouth was attached to you, you rolled your hips and shuddered. The soft prickling of his beard between your thighs was something you didn't know you craved until now. He groaned in satisfaction, both hands gripping your thighs and hooking them over his shoulders.

He was genuinely getting off to the taste of you. The subtle twang of today's efforts dripping off you. The contracting of your folds against his tongue was signaling that you were close already and he had just got started.

"All this? For me?" he said as he licked up more slick. "Baby, you shouldn't have." he continued and added a finger to get you there faster.

You gasped and laid back onto your desk, exhaling shakily. The balls on this man to call a married woman any kind of pet name was beyond you, but that was thrill. And you loved it.

"My apologies," he leaned upwards for a second to see you clutching your torso as a means to focus. "Madam Secretary. I'd never take that away from you." he added, along with another finger at a steady rhythm.

You moaned out your own name, a choked gasp following after. He smiled and dove back in between your legs, licking and sucking to see what it's like when you come undone.

With your own hand over your mouth, you moaned loudly under your palm as you came. You were a tad embarrassed that you were squirting all over his face, but he just wouldn't stop and let you ride this out.

When your body finally calmed and became less tense, he backed away and pulled his fingers out slowly. He stood up and wiped his face while his other hand quickly undid his belt and pulled his pants/boxers down just enough so that his dick sprung free. He nodded, impressed with how much you came and that he was able to do such a thing. He lifted your left leg from your knee and used your own cum as lube.

Your name rolled off his lips so naturally as he made sure all of your essence covered the shaft, but he was done playing games. Bucky took the liberty of wrapping that leg around his waist and used the leverage to push himself inside you, bottoming out so you could adjust. The man was girthy and long. It felt he was splitting you open, leaving the perfect mix of pleasure and pain.

You couldn't remember the last time you had sex with your husband, but it definitely was nothing like this. And Bucky was definitely way bigger than he ever was.

"You okay?" he asked softly and soothed you by rubbing circles on your thigh. He hovered over with a look of concern and wasn't going to do anything else unless there was a verbal confirmation.

You nodded, "Yeah," you said and reached up to pull him towards you by the shoulders. His arms were on both sides of your head as he watched you grab the tie you tossed earlier to wrap it around the back of his neck. He smiled softly at you before he moved his hips, liking the way you think.

Bucky leaned down and left kisses along your jaw and neck, relishing in your hushed noises of pleasure so that nobody could hear outside. Thanks to your assistant, he doesn't interrupt if you're speaking with someone and warns others not to.

"Mm...that son of a bitch is lucky I didn't meet you first," he whispered and nipped at your earlobe. "He doesn't deserve you," he added with your name at the end. One of your hands came up to lightly tug on his hair. He chuckled in response.

"Too soon?" he asked, half-serious.

He was about to say something else when your phone rang. Your cellphone. You both lifted your heads and looked over by the computer, but he grabbed it quicker than you could. Your eyes widened in horror when he answered it.

It was your husband.

He leaned up and said his name aloud so you were fully aware this was really happening. The truth is, he knew everything about him. He knows about his cheating scandals and all. So, when he saw the name, he just couldn't help himself.

Old habits die hard.

"Yes, hello. The Madam Secretary is not available at the moment as she is currently busy with a meeting right now." he said, putting your phone between his ear and his shoulder. He quickly covered your mouth with his metal hand and started thrusting into you again. There was a tsunami wave worth of emotions running through you right now, but it was all being overridden by the angle he was hitting and the sudden quickened pace. He spoke on the phone like it was nothing, smiling down at your face contorted with pleasure and your eyes rolling back. Your muffled moans gave him goosebumps.

"Uh, I could try to get her on the line if you'd like," he said as he looked down again, trying not to chuckle at you snapping back to reality. "No? Ah, ok. I'll let her know you'll be here in thirty minutes. She should be finished in...one second, please," he muted the microphone and uncovered your mouth for a brief moment to kiss you, taking in your frustrations and embarrassment at the muted cellphone being right next to your head.

You could just cry. The wave of guilt only made you want to unmute and let him listen in on what he couldn't do.

"Time's ticking, sweetheart," he muttered against your lips. "Cum with me. Come on. Don't wanna leave him hanging, right?"

Your mouths moved in sync and your tongues danced to a dangerous tune. Bucky fucked you like his life depended on it.

That tight feeling inside you both snapped at the same time. Bucky pulled out in time, letting his cum hit the tiling so it didn't get in the carpet. You trembled beneath him, pouring everything you had into this kiss that kept the entire office from rushing in here.

After a few seconds you tried to make yourself calm down, pushing Bucky off you and quickly sitting up on the edge of your desk as you grabbed your phone. He playfully scoffed and snatched your phone from you. But before he unmuted, he leaned in close to your ear and said,

"Should've given you my babies." seeing your genuine look of shock.

He unmuted cleared his throat as he stuffed himself back into his pants. "Hello? Yes, she's finished now. I've delivered your message to her and she can speak now. Alright. No problem, sir."

Bucky handed the phone back to you with a wink before grabbing his clothes and putting it back together. Once he got his shirt and blazer on, he went to grab his tie that was still in your clutches. He couldn't fight the urge to plant a soft kiss to your temple while you were on the phone before he put it back on. He also cleaned up the mess he made with a tissue from the box on your desk, tossing it in the nearby trash can. When he took the entire box and handed it to you, he snickered when you snatched it from him to clean yourself up, effectively shooing him away while trying to hide a smile.

The Congressman put his hands up in defense before giving you a small salute, leaving you alone. Once the call ended and you got yourself situated, you put your heels back on and quickly walked over back to him, giving him a tender kiss and fixing his hair.

"Now go. I have an election to think about."

[classjezter]

First of all, just wanted to let you know that your Baby Prime is super adorable. I’ve never seen a drawing of a sparkling that isn’t, but something about your little guy is just the cutest thing ever, and I want to cuddle with him so badly!

Second, since Optimus has been kidnapped by the Cons for a few weeks now, and I’m not sure how long he was tiny before that, what have the Bots who know what’s going on told the other Autobots who they kept Baby Prime a secret from? Have the others been getting suspicious as to what happened to their leader and started asking questions? If they haven’t yet, have the ones in the know considered bringing anyone else in on the secret to get their help?

Thank you! I’m glad my drawings can convey the cuteness of the little guy. I too wish I could pinch his little cheeks.

As for the autobots, the official story they came up with was that Optimus was off on super top-secret missions, “stuff only a Prime could handle”. It also gave them a solid excuse so they could disappear for days and take care of baby Optimus. All they had to say was, “I’m joining the Prime for a bit,” and no one asked questions. To sell the bit even more, Wheeljack built a device that could take anyone’s voice and make it sound exactly like Optimus on real time. So even if no one had seen the Prime for a while, they’d heard him.

Most Autobots bought the story, but a few had started picking up on things. They noticed the little things, the way of those in the know acted too defensively when asked about the Prime, the strange silence from those who usually had more to say, the avoidance of certain questions, their stories not matching up the way they usually did.

And then things got worse after Optimus' kidnapping. Our main crew started acting more on edge, less relaxed, worry constantly hanging over them. Some want to come clean to the rest of the Autobots, knowing they needed all the help they could get, but others are hesitant. They fear it might put Optimus in even more danger, or cause a rift in the Autobots if they found out how long they’d kept the state of their leader a secret. But no matter what, sooner or later the truth will come out.

I have a plan for how things will go, they will have to come clean to some autobots. But I haven’t yet chosen who they’ll tell yet. I have a few in mind but I’m curious if you guys have any specific requests or recommendations on to who they should tell and why?

[fafodill]

Snape is a textbook example of ‘good but not nice’.

He’s more good than virtually all the characters the fandom recognise as good, because he sacrifices everything in order to protect those who do not love him and who would not do the same for him.

After his defection, he’s really not grey at all. Even *before* his defection, the worst crimes we actually see on page are using a slur (as someone who has a muggle parent and is therefore part of the marginalised community) while being assaulted against a girl who goes on to marry the abuser and passing on a scrap of a vague prophecy from Trelawney, who nobody takes seriously. But because he’s so morally unlucky, these actions have dire consequences, while somebody like Lupin who actually does a fair bit worse in full knowledge of the potential consequences of his actions gets away scot free because he’s lucky enough that Sirius turns out not to be a deranged mass murderer.

And what is grey after he defects doesn’t come from being an unfair meanie of a teacher - JKR definitely doesn’t think so, because if she did she wouldn’t have written Harry defeating the ultimate evil using a spell Snape taught him - but from what he might’ve been complicit in as a means to a good end (ie. the implication that on Dumbledore’s orders he gave up Emmeline Vance to Voldemort to cement his position as a trusted source, the fact that he couldn’t work to deradicalise his young Slytherins likes Draco, Crabbe, Pansy etc because he’d risk his cover)

You make really good points anon.

Like I said previously, people want to dislike Snape. Being a spy is horrible work and he must have seen and done terrible things and got really hurt by it. We are missing depictions of him breaking down from the choices he had to make, the people he had to see getting tortured or maimed or killed, especially during the second war. That man was holding on to occlumency for dear life to not just break down and ugly cry at night alone in his bed. And maybe he did.

But since we don't see his remorse written on page (why would we? It would mean that Harry sees it) then it doesn't exist to people. Snape's character needs critical thinking and empathy to be understood and most people just don't bother.

I would like to add that I suspect Severus to have been unable to appear as a 'good guy'. We know Dumbledore scolded him when he didn't want to reveal to people his true motivations.

Of course it was partly because his story with Lily was deeply private to him but I also think he had been ostracized so long during his life that he couldn't bring himself to be anything else at that point. It would have made his skin crawl to have those people - those who always judged him and despised him without ever trying to really know him (not that he made it easy either we can agree on that) - suddenly become nice to him. What a bunch of hypocrites he would have thought. He didn't owe them any explanation, he was doing what was right and that's it.

And the same thing happens with the reader.

[inwhichiramble]

Okay Marvel. I see your New Avengers carrying the shadows of the old, but I must disagree about the reflection choices.

Bear in mind, I’m only comparing powers to a certain extent, because let’s face it—every single one of them (except for Bob) is nowhere near on the same level of power as the Original 6. What I raise you is the personality and function they serve as team members. That being said…

Yelena = Natasha

Bucky = Steve

This is easy. Both of them have dealt with some level of “carrying the mantle”. Yelena is Natasha’s sister—the one she was fighting for, her Red Room counterpart in skill set and in struggle. They are the heart of the team… but Yelena has the opportunity to step into a role of leadership. When Steve went back in time, left two legacies: Captain America and Steve Rogers (Sam and Bucky, respectively). Yeah, Bucky is resident “old man”, but he also is learning to lead as well as act as counsel and support, just like Steve did for the OGs.

I also will agree with them that

Ava = Clint

Both underdogs, both with unique and under appreciated skill sets—but Ava is starting to get more notice and appreciation from her team. There’s also the fun dynamic with her and Yelena that calls back to Nat and Clint’s friendship.

Now, here’s where things get different.

Bob = Bruce

Now this is definitely more of a power comparison, but because of how much their personalities/temperaments affect their powers, I think it’s a fair side by side. If it were up to them, they’d both just be hanging out as the resident chill guys, trying to keep everyone else alive. But unfortunately they are both sad little guys with big scary monsters inside of them that are begging to come out. Already we’ve had jokes about getting Bob to unleash the Void at will, just like Bruce and the Hulk. Plus, of course, you have the electric friendships with Yelena/Natasha as the one’s who are able to calm and comfort them, and see them for their true selves.

Alexei = Thor

I cannot be the only one who saw the end credits scene and thought that if Thor understood marketing on any level, he would have been the one thrilled about the Wheaties. He loved being adored—just look at the scene with him and Loki on earth during Ragnarok! Both Alexei and Thor are the resident protective dad/golden retriever characters, who bring the joy and enthusiasm to each mission—which is why it’s more poignant when they endure struggle. And of course there is the ego factor lol

Speaking of egos…

John = Tony

Now I’ll admit that I’m not the biggest fan of John, but I went through the same thing with Tony for the first few movies. Both of them are just a tad insufferable until they finally start to wake up and remember they aren’t the only people who’s lives have sucked. They’re the best in their respective fields, until someone bigger came along and gave them a reality check. But if John continues the way he has been, I think he has the potential to serve people well the same way Tony did. And of course the John/Bucky rivalry doesn’t hurt the comparison.

Anyways, those are my takes. I’ll never compare Valentina to Fury because she doesn’t deserve the respect, but Mel is Maria Hill and I stand by that.

[maldeldest]

So, I was wondering in how many Episodes Zuko actually antagonized the Gaang so (because I have no life) I got us all an Overview

1x1: Zuko's introduction and the worst thing he did was stalking them, while he remained on his ship to annoy his uncle

1x2: Classic capturing Aang moment. That's how the best friendships begin

1x3: No antagonzing here. Just kicking Zhao's ass

1x4: The Kyoshi Island fight. Yet another classic

1x5: No Zuko

1x6: Short cameo and kinda bad for taking the necklace, but he just picked it up so I let that slide.

1x7: Decided to save Uncle instead of following the Avatar *pats his bald head* Good boy

1x8: Again Zhao is the bigger asshole but he shot them and grabbed Aang for like 3 seconds.

1x9: Teaming up with pirates to be the perfect villain, oh yeeeah.

1x10: No Zuko here

1x11: No Zuko here

1x12: Here you got everything at once. Zuko being a little bitch (I love him so much), then this 13 year old mf had the balls to speak up against innocents dying and the Agni Kai scene killed me. My boy then let the Avatar escape yet again to ensure the safety of his crew. And that, my friends, is the reason why Zuko was never a villain to me, only an antagonist.

1x13: Zuko being vulnerable and losing hope and then saves Aang. I count that one as good because he could have chased him after but didn't (Yeah I know he was still injured and tired, BUT I LET IT COUNT)

1x14: No Zuko here

1x15: Again classic June team up with her whip.

1x16: No Zuko, Only mentioned.

1x17: Again no Zuko here.

1x18: Ahhh the very first assasination attempt. They grow up so fast.

1x19: Starts wholesome but shit got serious because Zuko has Aang. (And gets the most clichee bad guy line "Who do we have here?" Zuko no you are better than this).

1x20: Here we have both a bad thing and a good thing. Bad thing is ofc holding Aang captive for half the episode and good is trying to save Zhao (who hasn't deserved it a bit but Zuko is better than me IG)

2x1: Nothing to see here. Azula serves as the bad guy and Zuko is doing humanity a favor by cutting off his ponytail.

2x2: Good boys dont steal oastric horses from nice ladies, Zuko. Ts ts ts.

2x3: Azula serves as the worthy antagonist. I guess Zuko gave over his cepter.

2x4: Only one Zuko scene at the beginning. A shame. What ? No, Zuko didn't steal these guys swords, that was the blue spirit. PAY ATTENTION!

2x5: Zuko (steals) brings food on the table for Uncle. What a nice young man.

2x6: No Zuko here

2x7: Okay if I have to explain this one I'm not sure if you should stay here. Love How Avatar wasn't even mentioned.

2x8: Only one line of wanting to capture Aang and then making a fool out of himself against Azula (Zuko, I love you, but that really wasn't your best). And then they worked together. Also, my sweet, I get you have trust issues and all but dont throw fire at people wanting to help your injured uncle

2x9: The only thing he hurt in here was Iroh's nerves.

2x10: No Zuko here

2x11: Zuko and Iroh playing refugee simulator and minding their own buisness.

2x12: Zuko getting dragged into the criminal lifestyle by the bad influence of his new boyfriend -Uncle Iroh

2x13: I see a pattern but again Zuko and Iroh minding their own buisness.

2x14: Zuko and Iroh minding their own buisness but Jet comes in to ruin the fun and spill the tea.

2x15: Who needs honor when you can get a pretty girl.

2x16: Small cameo on the boat and Iroh watching over Zuko. Very wholesome.

2x17: Zuko tried to steal Appa: No bad Zuko, down.

Zuko frees Appa: Good Zuko.

2x18: Zuko is too sick to hunt the Gaang

2x19: Zuko is happy and him and Iroh minding their own buisness. Katara, I love you but why did you have to ruin it 😭

2x20: We... we don't talk about this. Lets just move on

3x1: Love how Zuko isn't even back for 5 minutes and Azula is already mentally torturing him.

3x2: Nice boys also dont sent assassins after his future best friend, Zuko. Ts ts ts.

3x3: No Zuko here

3x4: No Zuko here.

3x5: Zuko and Mai being an all time fighting couple and being assholes to each other but it has nothing to do with the Gang so I let it slide. And wow, Azula manages to have one moment with Zuko that felt honestly wholesome to me. Good Job 👍🏻

3x6: Backstory time. Again, nothing was done to hurt the Gaang so we are good so far.

3x7: No Zuko here

3x8: No Zuko here

3x9: Zuko living the life he deserves as a prince (too bad we have to take it away from him)

3x10: Few Zuko scenes here and there, each of them great.

3x11: Zuko standing up to his father as the GOAT he is

3x12: Zuko joins the Gaang

3x13: Zukaang life changing field trip

3x14: Zukka life changing field trip

3x15: Zukka life changing field trip part 2

3x16: Zutara life changing field trip and Zuko is officially their friend. I love a happy ending.

3x17: Zuko regrets that ponytail more than everything else (and sweet moment with Toph)

3x18: Yup, attacking Aang one last time for good luck but I let it slide.

3x19: If Zuko and Iroh's reunion is not one of your favorite scenes then leave.

3x20: Agni Kai, do I need to say more ?

3x21: All hail firelord Zuko

So, thats it. We only have 9 times where he was actually an evil force to be dealt with by the Gaang out of 61 Episodes. The rest of the times he either wasn't present, minding his own buisness, annoyed his uncle or was a straight up hero even while he was an antagonist.

And thats why to me he is I no way comparable to Zhao, Ozai, Azula, Long Feng or even minor douchebags like Jet.

[musette22]

Hey Minnie, hope you're well. I love the discussions people are having about civil war Bucky even now. Though part of it makes me feel annoyed (not at you or anyone else here but at Marvel).

It really sucks seeing all the effort Marvel put in to make Bucky less sympathetic after Winter Soldier. In that movie, we saw Bucky completely vulnerable and alone and scared - a victim through and through. Which makes it so weird that leading up to cw the Russos kept saying stuff like 'Is Bucky a dangerous assassin or the world's longest serving pow?' 'Is he a killing machine or can he be Steve's friend again?' Like my guys, you already answered this in the previous movie! Especially when the first real scene we're given of Bucky is him buying plums at a market and smiling at the seller. How terrifying 🙄

Even the torture scenes are wildly different. In catws we see Bucky getting backhanded by his abuser followed by his terrified reaction to the machine. We saw him trembling, breathing heavily, saw the whites of his eyes and heard him whimper before he started screaming. The scene in cw is very . . . distant in comparison. There's a mask covering his face so we can't see his expression and the chair puts him in a much less vulnerable position. (And why include a torture scene if you're trying to leave it up to debate if he's innocent? They could've written him like 616 Bucky, who wasn't tortured and just had his memory erased. He still had a personality and autonomy to fight back against his handlers. Mcu Bucky had none of that).

Also I really hate the retcon of the code words. They should've kept the story from catws - the mind wipes + torture + drugs + brainwashing techniques. It was so much more complex and interesting and showed how bad it was for him. But then cw changed it to 'there's a switch we can flip in his brain to turn him into an uncontrollable killing machine when it's convenient'. It didn't add anything to the story, it was just a tool to make Bucky look more dangerous and to give a reason for him to be shoved in a freezer at the end. It also made it like getting rid of the code words just got rid of the trauma and pain that hydra gave him. (Even though after the code words were removed he was treated like he'd suddenly snap and kill everyone. Stupid writing).

And don't get me started on all the obvious rewrites, done to make Bucky look more dangerous and to stamp #nohomo all over Steve and Bucky. The soft, gentle 'Buck, do you know me?' versus the curt 'Which Bucky am I talking to?' There's some other really stupid dialogue, like when Steve and Sam are talking about Bucky. Sam suggests Nat is right in her saying Steve should not help/protect Bucky. Steve says 'He'd do it for me,' to which Sam replies 'In 1945 maybe.' The problem with this is at the end of catws, Bucky, with almost no memory of Steve, injured and scared, saved Steve from drowning, even though he'd been trying to kill him just before. So Bucky has proven he'd be there for Steve in the same way, well after 1945, which makes Sam's statement ridiculous.

Or the scene where Steve tries to tell Bucky what happened with Hydra wasn't his fault and Bucky says "I know. But I did it,' and Steve doesn't look at him and doesn't reply, which makes it look like he agreed with the notion that Bucky had responsibility. Earlier in the same movie Steve refuses to let Wanda blame herself for the incident in Lagos, so why can't he do the same for Bucky? #Nohomo. (Btw I don't blame either Sam or Steve here, it's not their fault the writing is atrocious).

This is why I'm the same as you Minnie, I refuse to regard a lot of the mcu canon. In my head Steve and Bucky went on the run together before getting their names cleared and enjoying a peaceful retirement together with Alpine.

Even though I can't bring myself to care, I'm genuinely happy that some fans enjoyed Thunderbolts. After all Marvel has done, we deserve something good, or at least decent. It's just that, to me, the whole 'supportive friendship' thing from Thunderbolts just rings hollow. Especially when they never properly addressed any of the trauma with the original avengers. It was either ignored or played off as jokes. Thunderbolts just feels like too little too late.

Sorry for this massive rant, you've just got a really good supportive space here and I appreciate that.

Hi lovely!! Apologies for taking a little while to answer this, sometimes shorter asks are easier to answer quickly, but it's definitely not because I didn't appreciate this ask, because I absolutely did!!

I can't tell you how interesting this was to read, or how much I agree with everything you said here. You make SUCH good point about Civil War and some of the terrible writing in that movie. The trigger words thing especially, but also the stupid dialogue and obvious rewrites (I hate the "which ;ucky am I talking to" line too 😒). I just completely agree - there's a reason I've only seen CW once or twice.

I'm also right there with you when it comes to disregarding canon and rewriting Steve and Bucky's ending in a way that actually makes sense for them and lets them be together the way they absolutely would have been if marvel/disney hadn't decided to no homo the shit out of them. I also feel your sentiments re: Thunderbolts (though tbh I don't really know anything about the plot or dynamic between the characters, so I can't say much about that).

And please don't apologise, you're welcome share your thoughts anytime, especially when they're as interesting as these are! I'm glad this blog feels like a supportive space for that ❤️

[parasolladyansy]

Howdy there again ^^

Say wanted to ask... not trying to pry but... if you guys ever did runs for ansy and ikrit in alola... what starters would you two both pick?

Oh, and for the sake of asking... when it comes to making stories that are pokemon and trainer focused ,like most stories are, how do you usually go about your pokemon choices... other than for types or team combos and stuff.... I feel like you have answered this before... but i just had to ask

I'm making my own original stories with specific ideas and headcanons and I would love to hear more ideas from another creative

*also it me the guy who asked about ishi before*

Hi again!

So. Kinda off-topic, kinda not. >u> I REALLY wanted to like Moon / Ultra Moon. I have some ties to Hawaii on my mother’s side, & a lot of the Pokémon there seemed interesting. But I (& Ikrit) just couldn’t get into it. I feel like part of it was the lack of a traditional Pokémon League? Either way, didn’t get very far ^^;

On our short-lived runs (plot-wise we joke they just had a short vacay to Alola 🏝️), we actually both picked Popplio - I almost always choose the Water Starter, & it’d be fun to have a Water / Fairy (Rowlet was a very close second, because I also like birds). I feel like plot-wise, trainer-Ikrit would probably choose Litten instead, being a more fitting match =w=

That brings us to the second part of your Ask: it’s the Pokémon we used when we played those games, &/or Pokémon that seem to fit them.

For Sword x Shield, I probably took the most creative liberties for both Ansy & Ikrit’s teams. For Ansy, I combined my Gardener run (where my girl Leafeon, Moss, led the team instead of Rain) with my standard Parasol Lady run. For Ikrit, I added a Lunatone to represent his Hoenn roots as well as his working for a meteoriticist investigating the Wishing Stars.

Meanwhile, Diamond x Pearl REWRITE are our literal teams (for me, my 3rd run - I usually do a practice run where I get the lay of the land & just do what’s natural, then do a more themed run. BDSP needed a third one because I didn’t know Castform was available & I HAD to have Sora!)

Basically, I would observe the teams your trainer uses, what Pokémon you / they are attached to, maybe their trainer class or personal history, all to pick a fitting team for them.

Actually maybe a good example for that is Emmet:

Obviously he can’t his usual team in Sinnoh due to customs (my personal HC on why we can’t have certain Pokémon in certain games), so I had to invent his entire team. I noticed Emmet seems to like Electric, Bug, & Steel types, as well as Fossils going by his Archeops, & like all train worker Classes out there (Depot Agent, Rail Staff, Subway Boss), he’d have at least one digger.

I picked Electivire for him since his yellow fur might’ve reminded him of his precious Galvantula (& Joltiks). His Bastiodon is both a Fossil & a digger. Ingo has a Magnezone in place of his Klinklang, which Emmet has a twin of, so I gave him a Magnezone to match. The rest matches up more with what I observed about him.

So yeah! Hope that answers your question, & I look forward to see what you (or anyone else this helps out) come up with.

—

PS: oh! Editing to add that I also make sure the teams are still viable in battle with the help of some Pokémon team builders. My favorite was Marriland, but there’s a bug that happens whenever I use it now that crashes the site. If anyone has an alternative that works just as well up to Gen 9, pls lemme know! ^o^

[seoulfulbliss]

Park Jongseong (Part Two)

Author’s Note: The long-awaited part two! I worked so hard to bust this part out 😭, so it is a little long. I only intended for 3 parts and the third part has its own personality. I do also want to mention a potential trigger warning for some of you. This chapter does delve into themes of miscarriage and depression. Anything that is depicted could potentially be graphic for individuals who may have undergone that same duress. So, be forewarned. That being said, hope you enjoy babies 🫶🏾

(Friendly reminder, YOU DON’T HAVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORKS ANYWHERE.)

CEO! Jay x Estranged Wife! Black Reader 

Synopsis: A one-night stand with a handsome CEO leads to an unexpected derailment in your life plans. 

Content: Angst, talks of miscarriage, depictions of depression, bullying, neglect, pregnant reader, pregnancy kink, lactation kink, motherhood, smut, autistic child, ghosted friendships, misunderstandings, Jay’s mother reaaaalllllyyyy needs to get a life, eventual happy ending

Word Count: 11.5k

A life really can change in a whole week. One day you can be walking around with no knowledge of any duties or obligations outside of yourself, and the next, you could be staring down at two pink lines saying “congratulations, you’re having a baby.” 

And if that itself doesn’t taunt you enough, then the marriage license currently sitting in your hand might be a decent second option. If Jay was one thing, he was swift and efficient. Definitely a no bullshit type of guy. Maybe that efficiency is how you got pregnant. First times the charm evidently with potent sperm. 

Over the course of the last week, Jay handled everything for you. And by everything, understand that it meant absolutely everything regarding the rearrangement of your life.

You’re currently renting a spot and there’s no way you can get out of your lease? No problem, Jay can handle that for you. All it took was a phone call to the leasing office and it was terminated instantly. So there went your first excuse for why you shouldn’t move in. Then came the issue of furniture and moving your things. 

Well, you’re married to Jay. What could you possibly need this extra furniture for? Okay, you like the zebra print rug and the funky lamps with the pink base? Fine. You can bring that to his place and put it… somewhere safe (read: nowhere visible to Jay). Okay, why on earth would you need this couch? It served its purpose, just sell it. Oh, a relative gave it to you? Then give it back. Sigh. Okay fine, the movers can just put that in a storage unit. 

That’s exactly how the conversation went from start to finish. And each time, Jongseong found the perfect solution to your well-crafted problems. There went excuse number two. 

So then came excuse number three. Embarrassingly enough, you were not above throwing a tantrum in the tiny space of your apartment. There you sat, in the middle of your empty living room debating all the reasons why moving in would not be a great idea. Jay took to standing by the doorway a short distance from you. He had a slight air of annoyance about him that suggested he was itching to tape your mouth shut. With the way that you continued to ramble, his demeanor hinted that he honestly probably would. 

“But I don’t want to move. If I move, that means I lose autonomy over myself. As an independent woman, I take pride in never needing a man. Hell, my body already practically isn’t mine with the way it’s a container for your child. Now you’re asking me to share the same space? You’re already forcing me to take your last name!” 

Robotically, Jay just nods his head. Ohhhhh, so he’s not listening? Okay, time to up the ante. 

“Plus, how am I supposed to familiarize myself with a new environment when I’ve been living here for years? Come on. I’m a pregnant lady. Hormones are bound to start acting up any day. How would you be able to handle that? What if you piss me off so bad that I don’t want to see your face? Which is very possible with you, by the way. Besides, we hardly know each other. We’re not exactly the poster children for couples who can finish each other's sentences.” 

Jay just sighs. There is a response on the tip of his tongue. But you cut him off before he can utter it.

“And, I like the air here. It’s nice, fresh, and crisp. What if the air in your space isn’t suitable enough for the baby?” At this point, you’re totally just making anything up. The bigger the spectacle, the better. Maybe he’ll give in and leave this matter alone. 

“What if it’s full of pathogens and diseases, or nanoparticles that contribute to asthma? Would you take responsibil—”

Before you realize it, he is making his way across the room to you. Pulling you up by the arms, he makes direct eye contact. “Yes, I’ll take responsibility for all those things. You’re worried about the air? Let's get an air filter for all the rooms. Water is a concern? Okay, I’ll make sure we get an improved filtration system for all the faucets in the house. Hell, if you’re even worried about the thread count on the sheets, fine. Let’s buy more. Charge everything to my card.” 

Damn, so he’s a good lover in bed and husband material too? Then what the hell was up with his shitty attitude when you met him at the office? You were definitely undergoing a severe case of whiplash. First, he gives you an out of body experience during sex, then he’s brutally blunt over the technicalities of a business card, and now he’s aggressively caring in terms of the pregnancy. As much as you want to ride this ride again, the roller coaster is moving way too fast.

“You say that now, but what if you change your mind? I can be a hard woman to please—“

Smirk on his face, hands on your hips. “It didn’t seem that way the night we met.” And your mouth is snapping shut, because what the hell did he just say? 

“You…” his head tilts in amusement at your inability to find the right words. Oh, he thinks he’s cute, huh? You’ll show him cute alright. Finger pointed at his chest, this ought to give him a piece of your mind. 

“You can’t handle me, Jongseong. I come with a lot of particularities. The air filter is only the first of many requests. So you should—”

Then without any warning, Jay had you hoisted up over his shoulder, hand coming down harshly across your ass. A squeal of surprise stretches across the enclosed space of the room. “Did you just… spank me?” 

“Yes, because I don’t have time for this. We have a meeting with the registrar in…” he checks his watch, “an hour. And you’re too busy obsessing over the quality of air. Do you like wasting everyone’s time, or just mine?” 

He moves to the bathroom entrance. “Are you insane?!” You splutter as you hit at his back. “Who just slaps someone’s ass like that?”

By the way the next line of words fall from his mouth, you can tell he’s smirking. Smug little prick. “You didn’t have a problem with it back at XO hotel.” And you’re afraid Jongseong won’t make it to the courthouse with the way you contemplate strangling him. He sets you down by the bathroom sink before grabbing a pack of wipes. “Clean yourself up so we can leave. We’ll come back for the rest of your stuff another day.” 

Head hung metaphorically low, excuse number three was officially out the window.  

Fifty minutes later, you are across town at the courthouse watching the red ink of fate as the registrar stamps your freedom away. Congratulations to yourself, you suppose. So you were officially a taken woman on paper. Who cares? No biggie right? It’s just in theory, not practice. 

Except, oh. 

Jongseong bought rings, one for you and one for him. “It’s more convincing this way.” Who he was trying to convince, you had no idea. What you did know was the rock on your finger may be simple, but the price of it was anything but. Cushion cut diamond, with a dainty band. An ode to his personality once again; neat, simple, elegant. He definitely paid a pretty penny for this. 

That was something you noticed about him, his integrity. He lived up to his word. After that marriage certificate was signed off, he handed over one of his black cards. AmEx. Of course you knew he was loaded. But the casual way he said, “Use it for whatever you need.” Then positioning his hand behind the passenger seat as he reversed? Yeah, you nearly folded. His ex-fiancé had to be a strong woman to leave him. 

Living with Jay also proved to be…  interesting. His house was gorgeous. It sat on several acres of forested land. Foliage surrounded it like an accessory. If you analyzed it enough, you would think it was something out of a dark academia film. Much like his office, it too had the sleekness of mahogany paired with black and white accents. Except, you could tell where earth tones were prioritized to balance out the sharp monotony of its clinical aesthetic. Elegance topped with homely comfort. Jay really did have impeccable taste.

In his home, you had your own room. The reason being, him wanting to give you some semblance of personal freedom. You could respect him for it. There were still many things to figure out with your personal life. And you needed as much space as you could get to sort out your jumbled up career. Through the frenzy of discrimination, an unexpected pregnancy, and moving, you still hadn’t told your friends about your current situation either. You hadn’t been in the right headspace to do so. But you knew you needed the comfort and support that comes with friendship. So you planned to do so soon, before you started showing. Speaking of, apparently the thought of pregnancy was a thing Jay liked. 

Much like an onion, he had many layers about himself to peel back. But this was a layer you discovered through observation. Clearly, fatherhood was a desire for him. You could tell in the way he was concerned about your nutrition and comfortability. It meant a lot to watch him discuss your prenatal care with Dr. Paik. Especially in moments where you caught him in the early hours of the morning nursing a coffee while mulling over parenting books. Wanting to take care of people seemed to come naturally to him. 

He also happened to be laser focused on you. Primarily your body. You found him watching you occasionally in the space of his home. Whenever his schedule saw fit. If you were anywhere within his line of sight, his eyes were watching you. Like a hawk. 

You wanted to tiptoe to the kitchen for a late night snack? Surprise, Jay is still awake on the chaise lounge reading infographics in low light. And his eyes drink your legs in from the skimpy pajama shorts you wear. 

You wanted to make an early breakfast before he headed to work? Sure, do your thing. Just expect to be scared shitless by his silent form as he leans against the doorway watching you hum to yourself. 

There were even times when he came home late from long nights at the office. Those were… the more interesting days. If you were bent over the kitchen counter cleaning up the remnants of your dinner, then he was scooting past you like you were in a tight space in the otherwise openly spacious home. And best believe that when he brushed up against you, you were definitely feeling his dick print. 

And if you fall asleep on the couch late at night while doing research? He would come in, see you laying there so vulnerably and try everything in his power not to corrupt that image. But still, you felt him some of those nights. The way he would sidle up to the couch and watch you. You felt the featherlight touch of his hands on numerous occasions when he thought you were fully asleep. The way he would trail his finger lightly from your ankle up your thigh. And he would graze his fingers gently, in circles, around your inner thigh. Then he’d take a deep breath and remove them, like he was fighting to hold himself back. 

“It’s not healthy to sleep on the couch like this.” He’d whisper into your ear. And you would startle awake with a new level of hunger seeping into your skin.

Yes, these last few weeks of living with Jay were interesting. And the dangerous game he played sat as a reminder that you were in his domain. And you were every bit of the prey he believed you to be. 

Prime example being today. Jongseong sat at the kitchen table eating a yogurt bowl as he analyzed an ongoing project on his tablet. His work never really slept. 

“I read something interesting in a book recently.” He started out that morning. 

“Oh?” You hum in acknowledgment, stirring your cup of herbal tea on the counter. It had started getting harder for you to enjoy the scent of coffee. At 8 weeks, your body was really developing a dislike for certain foods and drinks with the way you got nauseous even looking at them. Your body had already begun to change to make way for motherhood. You were filling out. Your breasts becoming more sensitive and tender as they rounded out. Tea was the best gift you could provide yourself these days. You hadn’t quite started showing yet either. But there was a slight protrusion to your belly. Imperceptible to others, noticeable to you. 

“Pregnant women can start producing breast milk as early as 16 weeks.” You immediately still. That was not what you expected. And he was so casual with the way he said it too. Glancing back at him however, you can tell he is anything but. His eyes watch you intensely, like he’s just spilled a secret only meant for you two. A tiny smirk adorns his face. Goodness. He pushes his seat back as he makes his way over to your shocked frame. It’s like predator and prey the way his eyes hunt you down, keep you in place. Then he is standing behind you, practically flush against your back. Both his hands come to rest on either side of you on the counter. He was boxing you in. Then he leans down so his lips just barely touch your ear. 

“It’s called colostrum production. Then around the third trimester, the mommy’s breasts fully develop to provide milk for the baby. Sometimes,” he presses closer to you when he says this. “Mommy’s milk can leak all over her chest when she begins to lactate.” The way his husky voice travels through your ear to the pit of your stomach, if you weren’t already pregnant, you would’ve been by then. His hands slide off the counter to rest on your hips. You swear you’re no longer breathing, the way you feel his bulge against your ass. 

“I wonder what that would look like for you.” His eyes bore into your own mischievously. This is a dangerous game to be played, and Park Jongseong is winning. “Sounds like that’s your favorite fact about pregnancy.” You whisper breathlessly between you two. 

Smugness still lingers in his voice. “What can I say, I appreciate what a woman’s body can do.” And oh, you have to squeeze your legs together with the way his thumbs rub circles into your hips. Almost as if he can read your thoughts, he leans into you further. Breath fans your face, his nose brushing along your skin. “What’re you doing?” You whisper.

“Holding my wife. Is that a crime now?” He chuckles, far less innocently than he is trying to appear. Then he is leaning the rest of the way into your space. Just as his lips brush against yours, his phone rings. The ringtone startles you, breaking the spell. Now sober to your thoughts, you realize Jay is no longer toeing the line of this game. Groaning, he drops his head to your shoulder before reluctantly pulling away. You clear your throat awkwardly and sip your tea, gazing at him as he answers the phone.

“Hello?” Judging by the tenseness of his shoulders, he is less than pleased at the news he receives.

“Secretary Kim, please confirm that what you are saying is true. Is my mother currently on her way up to my office?” Deep sigh, “Okay, I’m on my way.” He hangs up. 

“Everything alright?” You inquire. He had mentioned his mother, and you had yet to meet her. Jay hardly ever brought her up since you moved in. So, curiously, you were eager to meet the woman who raised him. 

Distractedly, Jay nods his head. “Business to take care of.” Then he is off gathering his work necessities before heading out the door. In that moment, you had naively believed in those several minutes of peace that your pregnancy would go smoothly. Boy were you about to be wrong; on many fronts. 

What you didn’t expect was the brewing storm that came along with his mother. Park Eun-ju. Well… the devil certainly does wear Prada. Everything went downhill from there. 

You met her the same day Jay had cornered you in the kitchen. It was late afternoon when she charged into your shared home with her son. She came in blazing like she was the bull and you the matador. You had sat on the living room couch going over the proper procedures to file a discrimination complaint when she appeared. The fast paced click clack of heels on the marble floor being the only warning you got before she stepped her Prada clad shoes past the threshold to the living room. There stood Park Eun-ju in all her glory, decked out in a white pantsuit with red heels. Immediately, her presence filled up the space. She certainly was intimidating.

“So this is the girl.” Disdain dripped like poison in her words. Oh. Immediately, you stood at attention just as Jay rounded the corner.

“Mother—”

“Mrs. Park—”

She raised her hand to cut you both off. “I didn’t ask you to stand. Sit down.” And you damn sure did.

“Mom.” Jay tries again, stepping forward to touch her shoulder.

“Jongseong, why on earth am I just now finding out you filed for a marriage license a month ago? And why am I also just finding out that the girl is pregnant?” She hisses.

“I planned on telling you eventually.”

“Is it yours?” Her gaze left yours long enough to glance at her son in distaste. Okay, what the hell was her problem? What was she being so judgmental for? 

“Yes.”

“How can you be so sure? Have you confirmed? She’s a random woman off the streets. For all you know, she could be lying to you. How can we be certain?” That really ruffled your feathers. What did she mean ‘random woman’ and ‘off the streets?’ She was characterizing you as some broad who jumped from one hook up to the next. 

Cutting in, you make your presence known again. “Excuse me?”

“Mother, please.” Jongseong pleads.

“I’m just expressing concern. Have you thought about the circumstances?” She ignores you in favor of speaking to her son.

“I don’t appreciate the way you’re speaking regarding my character when you know nothing about me.” you state heatedly.

Jay turns to give you an exasperated look.

“And I don’t appreciate you whoring yourself out for my son's wealth.” She quips back acidicly. Your jaw is on the floor. Appalled, you turn to Jay hoping he will say something. There was no way he would let her speak that way about you, right? 

Wrong. 

Jay ushers his mother to take a seat in the chaise lounge chair before he is kneeling on the floor in front of her. Trying to placate her, he grasps her hands in his as he stares up at her.

“Mom, you always taught me to be responsible right? I’m trying to do the right thing. She’s 8 weeks along. The time frame lines up with the night we met and…” He trails off, glancing at you briefly. “You know how I've felt since Da-eun left. I hate breaking commitments, so I decided to marry her to spare us both the embarrassment of bearing children out of wedlock. Especially since the Park name now has a certain status to it.” Eun-ju hums off-handedly. “We’re in this together. That’s just something you’ll have to deal with. Besides, you’ll be a grandmother—”  She cuts him off again.

“I don’t approve.” The entire time Jay spent monologuing, you were stiff. Now, even moreso since his mother bluntly stated she would not be in support of what already was. “Jongseong, the Park name is now a household one. And out of all the women you could choose, you chose one beneath your caliber.”

You scoff in disbelief at her shady behavior. “What about the profiles of the women I gave you after Da-eun? Did you even look at them? Why not consider them instead of…” She trails off as she looks at you. Okay, you’ve had enough.

“What is your issue lady? Jay already explained the situation to you, and while the circumstances surrounding it are a little unorthodox, we’re still bringing a child into this world. You don’t have to like it, but you damn sure don’t have to bitch about it.”

“Hey.” Jay warns. His mother titters. 

“This is what I mean Jongseong, no class. She isn’t a woman I would've picked for you in a million years.” You bristle at that. The lady was itching for a fight.

“I can make my own decisions, mother. What’s done is done. It’s final. We’re married and we’re having this child. End of discussion.” A wave of silence stretches about for several moments before she speaks again. 

“Fine. If you’re so dead set on making your own decisions, then I’ll make this one for myself. I’ll be residing here throughout the entire term of her pregnancy.”

“What?” You and Jay both exclaim.

“Well it's only fair, right? If I’m the grandmother to be, then shouldn’t I be around to get to know your bride? I fear we’re not off to a very great start.” Ohhhhh the heifer was goading you. 

“Whose fault would that be.” You muttered through clenched teeth.

“Y/N.” Jay regards you with a stern look. His mother smirks over his shoulder. Oh god, this was going to be a long pregnancy. Gathering your things, you trudge back to your room to escape the mother-son duo. 

That’s how you found yourself tired and drained by week 10. The reality of it all was finally catching up to you. If living with Jay was interesting, then living with his mother was hell. In the short time she had been there, you learned just how much of a ‘boy mom’ she could be and how much of a momma’s boy he could be. That electrifying moment in the kitchen with Jay never occurred again. There wasn't an opportunity for it to. Unlike before, when you both freely danced around each other, now moments between you two were terse and tense. Heavily weighed down by the presence of his mother. She was literally everywhere. breathing down your neck. Nagging. 

When you cooked a meal, she would criticize the way you did it. If you didn’t clean up enough around the house, she would give you an earful about it. “You should learn how to be a proper housewife.” She would say, as if you didn't aspire for more. She would also make slick comments when Jay wasn’t around. Telling you to monitor what you eat lest you blow up like a house. For crying out loud, you were pregnant and she was demanding so much from you. 

When she accompanied you both to prenatal appointments, she always had to add her two cents. As if all mothers experience pregnancy the same. If you had a concern about something, she would giggle under her breath like you were stupid. While you may not have been pregnant before, you still weren’t daft to your representation in the world. You knew the mortality rate among black women in childbirth compared to their counterparts. You wanted to make sure your body was healthy for you and the baby. Jay did too. In this regard, you both moved like a unit, doing your best to support the future to come. You may not have wanted to be a mother, but you certainly wanted to give Jay this. It warmed your heart the way his eyes would light up at the prospect of fatherhood. You just wished he would stand up to his mother more. Especially when she infantilized him. 

She was constantly droning on about what motherhood meant to her. And she made sure to let you know that Jay was more her son than your husband by making you feel insecure about what little you did know about him. 

“He doesn’t like his clothes washed with this detergent. He has sensitive skin.”

“He doesn’t want his food touching. It’s a texture issue.” 

“Why aren’t you ironing his clothes for work? Do you really consider yourself a wife?” 

Blah, blah, blah. She was stressing you the fuck out. She did everything in her power to push you away, and nearly succeeded at it. One incident in particular nearly made you call it quits. Minding your business was an art form for you, but that all went out the window when this meddlesome woman kept picking at you behind her son’s back. You were sitting on the living room sofa wondering why you hadn’t received information back about the complaint you filed when she waltzed in wearing her favorite brand. Prada.

She took a seat in the chaise lounge analyzing you. Already antsy from a lack of response from the state board, you knew you were a ticking time bomb. And she was getting ready to light the fuse. “You know, I don't know what my son sees in you.” Chuckling smugly, she crosses her legs. “His humanitarian spirit seems to follow him everywhere. Maybe that's why he has such bad luck with women.” Your brows furrow as your eyes dart in the direction of the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Jay said he was taking a shower when he first walked in. That's why she felt so emboldened to brandish her dislike outwardly. 

“He always did feel the need to help strays.” The evil witch was full on smirking. No longer trying to mask her hatred.

“The only reason I am refraining from calling you out of your name is due to the little respect I have for your son. My advice to you would be to leave me alone. Before you poke a bear that will not fall back asleep.” 

She waves your words away. “I’m not worried about your empty threats. I’m worried about your character. Your motive. I don’t trust you.”

Squinting at her, you give her your undivided attention. “In the time you have been here, I have done nothing to give you the impression that I wasn't a decent human being.” 

“What you consider decent isn’t the same for me. Why won’t you just admit you’re using my son for his money?” The way you wanted to throttle her was scarily real. You’ve never had someone disrespect you so blatantly before. Not even the dick who denied you your license was this bold.

“Not once have I entertained the thought of using Jay for his money. I didn’t want this marriage and I certainly didn't want to move in. He sprung it all on me. My parental rights were going to be signed away to him the moment the baby was here.”

“Yet you spend the money on his black card freely. With that ring on your finger, you must have an expensive taste.” It’s crazy the way she makes your eye twitch.

“Because he wanted it this way. He practically twisted my arm just to agree with him.”

“You could have refused.” Eun-ju rebuts.

“I’m starting to think this conversation is more about you hating me than anything else.” You observe.

“I don’t want just anybody having access to his finances and success.”

“What are you really trying to say?” You spit out.

“Are you a gold digger?”

“Excuse me?” How many times can this woman surprise you with her rhetoric? 

“Well, I’ve seen plenty of girls like you. Only in it for the money. Trying to tie a man down by having his child. What do you ladies call it? A baby daddy?” Your jaw has practically unhinged, the way it is on the floor. She giggles. 

“It’s hilarious really. The lengths a person would go for some cash. I asked around about you, and heard you were without a job. Something about failing to obtain a license? So what, you’ve decided to come and mooch off my son?” 

Your lip trembles at the accusation. “How dare you discredit my hard work—” 

“Is it money you need? I can write you a check right now.” It is insulting how her accusations carry the weight of your failure. She digs into her purse to retrieve what she needs to write you a check. 

“How much do you need?” She dabs the tip of her pen onto her tongue before opening the checkbook. Immediately, you slap it out of her hand. The items clatter to the floor as she gasps out loud. It is just your luck that Jay comes back from showering. 

Misinterpreting the previous events, he storms over to you in anger. Grabbing your wrist, he drags you away from his mother. “What do you think you’re doing?!” He yells. You indicate to his mother who is clutching her pearls in disbelief. 

“Did you not just hear the awful things she said to me?” His grip on your wrist tightens. “I don’t give a damn about petty squabbles. That is my mother. You don’t raise your voice at her in this house and you certainly don't attack her.” Tears threaten to spill from your eyes. So that was her objective, get him to gang up on you. Okay, fine. 

“Are you going to give her the same speech?” The grip becomes impossibly tighter, you wince. 

‘This isn’t a group discussion.” His mother giggles with mirth. “Where on earth did you find this woman, Jongseong? What horrible manners.” 

“Mother.” He warns. You whimper at the hold he has on your wrist. 

“Let go. It hurts.” You whisper. He drops your hand like it burns him. 

“Don’t argue with her again.” That night, a bigger rift is wedged between you and Jay. You take to avoiding him the next few days. Although it is misplaced, it is obvious he is mad at you. So you just stay out of his way. 

In your isolation, you are finally prompted to tell your friends about your predicament. Jalissa, Maci, and Dreux, all sit in various states of shock on the other line. “Wait, back up. You’re practically 11 weeks pregnant and you're just now telling us?” Dreux.

“Bitch, is that why you’ve been avoiding us?” Jalissa.

“Was it that guy you met at the bar?” Maci.

“I’m sorry I’m just now mentioning it. Between finding out and the stress of marriage and moving, it just slipped my mind.”

“Marriage?!”

“Moving?” Maci and Dreux shout at the same time.

“Girl, what the fuck is going on?” Jalissa again. So you explain in depth meeting Jay at the club, the night you had, finding out you're pregnant, the marriage certificate, moving in, and the predicament with his mother. 

“Damn. you know those boy moms don’t play about their sons.” Dreux mumbles tiredly. It is clear she is frustrated by the overall situation and your lack of notifying them. “I just wish you had trusted us with this information when you first found out. We could’ve figured this out together.”

Jalissa rolls her eyes playfully, “But then she wouldn’t be staying with a super rich, super hot guy. Sounds like he’s gonna be financing hot girl summer when Y/N recovers.” Maci giggles along with her.

“No, Jalissa. We’re not doing that.”

“Why not?” She pouts. 

“Because I respect him and what we have. I would never use him like that.”

Dreux hums in a way that lets you know she’s preparing for a debate. She always did love to prove a point. “You respect him even through all the bullshit his mother is putting you through?”

“He’s good to me.”

“Yet he still lets her talk to you any kind of way. Sounds hypocritical to me.” Silence resonates through the phone. Maci chews her lip nervously at the tense atmosphere. Jalissa makes a motion with her hand as if to say, “clock it.”

“You know, you always did get stuck in these fantasies instead of living in reality.” You recoil in bewilderment. What the hell did she mean by that? Dreux continues.

“I need you to be serious. He is a rich, Asian man in circles you couldn’t even dream of standing in. His mother already treats you like shit, and you decide to have his baby anyway? What makes you think they would accept you? As a black woman, you have to be realistic about these things. Especially when you’re giving him a black baby. Do you think those snobby people would accept it?” She states.

You scoff. “It’s 2025. It’s not that serious.” Even as you say it, you feel doubt creeping in your gut. You know the stipulations Korean culture has surrounding their first born sons. As an only child, Jay’s circumstance regarding you is a bit unconventional traditionally. 

Jalissa cackles. “Nah girl, I've seen Crazy Rich Asians. They don’t play about their rich men. Especially their sons.”

“This is why you should’ve come to us.” Dreux again.

“Maybe I didn’t want you to lecture me.”

“Maybe you need it.”

“Where is this coming from?” 

“I just think it’s funny how you encouraged me to get an abortion in college over minor things when you’re out here living lavishly, posted up in a mansion with a rich man's baby on the way. Ah… but I guess babies are only important when you have a sugar daddy to provide for you, right?”

Maci gasps as Dreux breaches the topic that really bothers her.

“Dreux.” 

You and Dreux go way back, longer than you had been friends with Jalissa and Maci. You were friends in high school and went to college together. Your freshman year was wild. Dreux practically had to babysit you as she was the oldest. You were also a lot more impulsive back in those days. You begged her to go to a party she didn’t want to attend. That’s how she met Donovan. Messing around with him, she got pregnant that same year. Initially, she wanted to keep it. But in good faith, you had to realistically lay out her options for her. She was a struggling college student in her freshman year who had to take out loans just to enroll. She couldn’t take care of a baby. Especially with Donovan putting his hands on her. You couldn’t let her do that to herself. It wasn't over minor things. So, you slid an abortion pamphlet her way, and the rest was history. You thought Dreux had been fine with it as time went on. But evidently, she still harbored some resentment for it. 

“Uhhhh. Y’all wanna fill us in?” Jalissa smacks her gum.

“She knows what I’m talking about.” Dreux hisses.

“You know I was just protecting you.” 

“Personally, I think you just didn’t want me to have it. You didn’t want to have to compete with a baby. You always did like all the attention.” The accusation stings. Dreux did have to take care of you a lot more than you would care to admit during those times. But you wouldn’t selfishly suggest an abortion to her because of that. 

“That’s not true and you know it. That guy was hitting you, and you didn’t have the financial support to provide for the child anyway. I was doing what was best for you.”

“Load of good that did. You don’t even know what’s best for yourself.” She snarks back.

Uncomfortable, Maci tries to interject. “Uhhh, guys?”

Honestly, you’re too fed up to care what Maci has to say. You have been battling with bullshit for the past several weeks, and the moment you come to your friends for support, this is the nonsense they hit you with? You were already on a short fuse from how mother witch wound you up. Now, the fuse was even smaller. 

“Well, you know what I think Dreux? I think this all stems from a place of jealousy. You think I purposefully didn't tell you because deep down, you have this belief I don't trust you to be happy for me. Honestly, from where I’m sitting, it doesn’t seem like you are. I know you always wanted to be a mother, but don’t take your previous decisions out on me. You could’ve said no, and we would’ve figured it out together.”

As mature as Dreux is, you can tell that she knows you’re right. Which is another thing she hates. Being wrong. She stares at you angrily before spitting the words, “Fuck you” at the screen and dropping from the call. You let out a shaky breath. That came from left field.

“Now why would you say that to her?” Jalissa frowns.

“She literally came at me first.” You splutter.

“But it was clearly something she was still sensitive about.” Maci chews at her lip again.

“How did this conversation turn into lecturing me?” 

“Maybe when you started making crazy decisions.”

“Jalissa, you are the last person to critique any decision making.” You snap.

“Oop,” Jalissa holds her hand to the screen. “Don’t start with me. You already pissed one of us off and I’m very close to getting there too.” 

The attitude in the air is astounding to you. You don’t know how this conversation derailed into a train wreck. Now you had to deal with your friends being frustrated with you too?

Maci interjects successfully this time. “Maybe we should just table it for now. Then pick back up another time.” 

“Good idea. Call me when you get the stick out of your ass.” Jalissa flips you off as she hangs up. Maci smiles awkwardly, then drops from the call too. All you are left with is a black screen. 

For the first time throughout this whole debacle, you feel yourself begin to cry. So many obstacles were hitting you left and right. You truly didn’t expect to feel abandoned like this by your friends. You understand where Dreux’s disappointment and frustration stemmed from, but why couldn’t anyone be happy for you? 

Week 11 was tricky for you. Your friends weren’t answering any of your texts or calls. You tried your hardest to apologize to Dreux, but she wouldn’t even respond. And Jalissa wouldn’t accept your apology until Dreux did. Maci didn’t have a backbone to save her life. So, she went with the majority. That left you dealing with the strained atmosphere of the house alone. Jay was back speaking to you, but most of his responses were clipped. They were hardly conversational. What frustrated you was the fact that he still took care of you though, making sure you were taking your prenatal vitamins and eating proper meals. For the most part, his mother didn’t say much to you again. Feeling like she got the upper hand. She would huff and puff occasionally, but most of what she had to say was whispered out of her son’s earshot. You just ignored her.  

The hormones didn’t make it any better either. You knew pregnancy could present itself differently for most women. But you didn’t know it would be like this. It started out small. Just little aches in your lower back. They ranged from 30 minutes to an hour. On and off. Then came the uncomfortability in your abdominal area. At first, you could handle it. But as the days progressed, the slight pinch started to feel like heavy cramps. But this was temporary. When the aching would stop, you would simply go about your business. Chalking it up to stress, you did your best to take it easy. 

You had no idea what was to come. 

When that letter came in the mail, it really was imminent that a trainwreck was bound to occur.  You had received a response back regarding the complaint you filed. Request to pursue this formally was denied. Denied. You could only chuckle humorlessly at your luck. They wouldn’t accept your fucking request, citing that the issues had been on your end and not the board. If you want to apply for licensure again, then you need to comply with their rules. Which was frustrating, because you had. But in this moment, you could only feel defeat. There was no more fight left in you. With one situation piling up after the other, you finally hit your breaking point. 

And just when week 12 hits, nearing the end of that third month, stress finally catches up with you.

You hadn’t really understood the signs when it happened. All you know is that you woke up from your nap that day alone. Jay was at work and his mother was out. The pain had started out low, then intensified excruciatingly. It was the worst abdominal pain you had ever felt. Worse than period cramps. The pain practically immobilized you, the way you could hardly move. But somehow, you made your way to the bathroom. You didn’t get far before you collapsed onto the floor. You knew immediately that something was wrong. You writhed in pain for what seemed like hours, when you felt it. The gush of something warm and wet between your legs. Pulling yourself up to lean against the tub, you see it. A puddle of blood forming beneath you. 

“No.” You whisper brokenly. The trainwreck was already knocking at your door. 

You sat in pain with the knowledge that your body was failing you. That’s how Jay found you two hours later after coming home for a late lunch. Calling out to you, your whimpers lead him to the bathroom. There you sat, in tears as blood coats your lower body and hands. It looked like a murder scene. Horrified, Jay rushes out to call Dr. Paik as you sobbed quietly on the bathroom floor.�� 

Carrying a child was an interesting phenomenon. The body adapts to make way for motherhood, shifting parts of your body to sustain a child. Evidently, pregnancy can shift other organs too. Like a heart. Make those overwhelmed at the idea of carrying a child excited with the prospect of eventually holding them. That’s what it did to you. But your body… your body had given up somewhere. Threw in the proverbial towel that misery picked up. 

Miscarriage. They happen primarily in the early stages of pregnancy. You were still within that window. Marginally. There was no baby. 

In that moment, it felt like you were floating. Barely hanging onto this thread called life. Everything dulled to grey, like your perception of color had muted into the background of a rainy day. Attachment settled on you easily. You hadn't known this was something motherhood could provide. But there you were, laying in a care facility staring, but not seeing. Mind elsewhere. You felt empty. You were. 

You’re not sure when you began looking forward to the concept of bringing life into the world. Maybe it was because of the way Jay cared for you. Maybe it was the raw vulnerability in his face when he discussed the idea of building a family. Maybe it was the excited look on his face when he talked about information he had learned in those parenting books. Maybe it was the thought of eventually feeling your child’s first kicks. Maybe it was simply the thought that you and Jay had created a life. But you were disappointed that your body couldn’t follow through with it. Honestly, you felt that Jay was too. 

He never said much about it, didn’t push it. But in ways he used to hover before, he had stepped back. The first few days after, you hardly saw him. He had things to handle. Work never stopped. Which saddened you. The both of you just lost a baby. Shouldn’t he be here grieving with you? You sat at home, the weight of failure looming over you. You felt less than a woman. Ashamed of what your body could not do. And Jay… just worked. Leaving you to drown in that guilt alone.

With Jay absent, you were left in the house to deal with his mother by yourself. However, you avoided her like the plague. You stayed holed up in your room. Didn’t want to eat and could hardly even sleep. She still found ways to antagonize you. 

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the last thing she said to you before you snapped. “Even your body can’t work properly to give my son a child. How could you possibly hold the Park name?” After that, you aren’t sure what happened. All you know is, you blacked out. 

And when you came to, Jay was holding your thrashing body while Eun-ju screamed in horror. She was clutching her neck, it being an angry red. The pearl necklace she had been wearing laid scattered on the floor. You had tried to choke her. She deserved it. 

After that, Jay sent his mother away. He paid more attention to you then. Not necessarily physically, but your mental care. Dr. Paik recommended some mental health clinics to him. Said it might be helpful in situations like yours. Depression from losing a baby. They had both noticed you weren’t taking care of yourself too. So, Jay hired a caretaker to cook and clean after you for a few months. Someone who would make sure you took your vitamins, walked around the house, and stretched your legs. 

Her name was Ok Young-Ja. An older woman in her early sixties. She took care of you in ways that Jay couldn’t, ways he knew he couldn’t. Some days when it felt too much, she would get you out of bed and run a bath for you. Soaking in the warm water, she would entertain you, humming old trot songs occasionally. Then you would say, “Tell me your story.” And she would. 

Throughout that time, Young-Ja was a silent force keeping you steady. Truly, it felt like she was a lifeline, your support in a dark place. 

You hadn’t spoken to your friends much since the incident. They were heavily on social media living their best life. They didn’t seem interested in reconciliation the way you had been. Instead, trying to force you to come back and grovel. In your current state of mind, you didn’t need it. There was no meeting them halfway. So you left them at their destination and kept searching for your own. 

That had been hard too. But as days turned to months, you realized that you deserved more than what life had tried to take from you. 

So, you decided to get better. Not just for yourself, but because you felt like you owed it to your baby to no longer feel at fault for what couldn’t be. 

It started out slow. You would get up and help Young-Ja with little things around the house. She would fuss, telling you to take it easy. But you wanted to do this. It took your mind off things. Besides, spending time with Young-Ja had been the brightest part of your life in the few short months she cared for you. Then you started helping her with groceries. It felt good to smell fresh air, to feel the humidity on your skin. Young-Ja was happy for you too. You could tell by the way the creases near her eyes dipped in just a bit further at the stretch of her smile. She would pat you on the back like you were her baby, gushing about how good you were doing. 

Then the time came for her to depart. Six and half months after being married to Jay, three and half since you miscarried. You knew Young-Ja had done all she could do for you. She did too. Patting your back as she held you, it was too easy to cry. Jay had been there to send her off. He thanked her and paid her probably way more than they agreed upon. And she was off on her next journey. 

Hollowness ate at your heart those first few days. Jay hovered, almost as if afraid you would revert back to that catatonic state. But you grew stronger by the day. This was only a temporary sadness. Still, you laid in bed most nights wishing he held you. You felt him do so once, when he thought you were sleeping. Apparently, he only liked to let his inhibitions loose when he was sure he wouldn’t be embarrassed for it. That night, he had cried laying in the bed embracing you from behind. Silent sobs wracked his body as he cried into your shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Muffled gasps whispered into the night. You let him, pretending to be asleep. 

Everyone grieves differently. After that, it didn’t happen again. Still, you pressed on in your quest for healing. 

Keeping busy with house chores, you became obsessed with routine. Like clockwork, you would get up, cook for Jay, send him to work, clean whatever you could, and prepare dinner. It was monotonous, becoming boring over time. Especially on the nights when Jay came home late. Those were the nights he wouldn’t eat, deep in the throes of building out a new project. 

In his frustration, he would brush you off, sheltering in his office space. That door stayed closed often, as if you and he were separated by two entirely different worlds. But you were, weren’t you? And his mother still did well to remind you.

Another long night for Jay had turned into another lonely night for you. You were doing your best to take care of things and stay upbeat despite the previous months of pain. You wanted to care for Jay, longed to befriend him in ways you hadn’t truly been half a year ago. He was your husband. You wanted to know every detail about his personal life. But even if she no longer set foot in the house again, his mother found ways to remind you that you both were not the same. 

It didn’t take much to hear the heated conversation spilling beyond the door of Jay’s office. Though muffled, it was easy to pick up on his mother’s complaints. “Staying with her isn’t an obligation! There are plenty of other women out there suitable for you.” 

“Mother,” Jongseong sighs into the receiver. “You know why I married her.”

“And she lost the baby, Jongseong. Don’t you want to be happy? With a real family. Can she even provide that for you?” He is silent for some time.

“Just… think about it, alright? Look over those dating profiles I sent you.” Backing away from the door, you reclaim your spot in the kitchen. Jay looks haggard when he comes out of the office. You are cleaning up the dinner he didn’t eat. “You’re still awake?” He questions.

“Yeah.” You mumble dejectedly. Hearing that conversation, you became hyper aware of the insecurities surrounding your body. It hurt to hear his mother question the validity of your womanhood. It hurt even more so that Jay did not disagree. He hums, observing you. “Don’t stay up too late.” You were from different worlds. Maybe Dreux was right.

After that, you took to only focusing on yourself. Your conversations with Jay went nowhere unless he personally started a conversation with you. He just let you be, chalking it up to the lingering effects of depression. What he didn’t realize was that you were pulling away.

Saturday morning found you out at the local park. You took to jogging recently, finding new hobbies to preoccupy yourself. Running made you feel good, helped clear your head when it was too cluttered. That’s why you built it into your routine. You were running the same route, when fate began to align. 

It was coincidental, the way this giant dog came barreling into you. His leash had flapped in the wind as he plopped himself onto you. There you sat, on the ground, a giant pile of fur in your arms. Annnnnd he was licking your face. Giggling, you push him away. “Down boy.” You laugh. 

“Sully!”

“Omg, we’re so sorry.” Two feminine voices rang out at the same time. Two women dressed in walking gear rush forward. 

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him! He really likes people, but he’s never acted like this.” Yellow windbreaker with the turquoise hair apologizes. 

The brunette with the long hair bows at you. “We sincerely apologize. We're dog sitting for a neighbor, and this stubborn guy decided it was a great time to yank his leash away.” She helps you stand up.

Dusting yourself off, you observe them. They seem really sheepish about the turn of events. The shorter colorful one red in the face with embarrassment. The taller one bowing once again. That’s how you meet them, Hyori and Mei. A Korean and Japanese woman respectively. A gay couple. You picked up on it by the way they held hands. It was cute. The rest was history.

By the tenth month of your marriage to Jay, you found yourself well-integrated into the couple’s lives. After that incident in the park, you would see each other often. And Hyori, feeling bad about the previous events, took the initiative to invite you for coffee as an apology. Their treat. Since then, you three were practically attached at the hip. 

Jay was super busy most nights. So, you didn’t think he would notice the days you stayed out late. 

Delighted to have new friends, you spent as much time as you could with them. They pulled you further into a lighter headspace. One night in their flat, over a few drinks, you tell them your story. Tears had been shed, with both women comforting you. Out of all your failures recently, this was an accomplishment you could be proud of. You had made genuine connections in your adult age. That was no small feat. Most people stress the complexity of finding people to befriend in their adult age. Some citing horror stories. But these two? Their generosity made it easy to settle in your friendship.

Nothing could pull you from the cloud you were on. Not even Jay. Or so you thought. He had come home one night, his secretary in tow. Kim Yeonmi. You remembered the name, but had never met her. She was pretty, tall in a modelesque sort of way. Her hair was pulled back into a bun. Broad shoulders suited her slim frame. 

“Um, hi.” You mumble in surprise. She just nods her head, not opening her mouth to speak. Rude. You direct your attention to Jay. He scratches his neck awkwardly. “What’s going on?”

Yeonmi cuts Jay off before he can speak. “There’s a gala we have to attend for one of Park Enterprises' business partners. Jay invited me as his date and thought it a good idea for me to get dressed here so we can arrive on time.” She wraps her arm around his. Oh. 

“A date.” You hum. 

The intensity of Jay’s stare bores into you. He asks Yeonmi to go get ready before turning to you. The click clack of her heels sashaying across the floor fills the empty space for several moments before he speaks. Hands in his pockets, “It’s an annual event. For several years, Yeonmi has gone with me. I would’ve invited you but… I didn’t know your plans. You’ve been out a lot recently.” The last part sounds like an accusation if you focus on it too much. So instead, you hear his statement for what it is.

“Okay, Jay.” 

He furrows his brows, “Okay?”

You shrug your shoulders. “If that’s all it is, there’s no need for an explanation right? It’s not like there’s anything else going on… is there?” 

Immediately, he denies. “No,” he said that with conviction. Must be true. 

“Then we’re fine.” And you had meant it. But you became increasingly frustrated as the night went on. Furious that he had another woman in your house together. Getting ready for an event, just to be draped across his arm like eye candy. Yeah, you were pissed. Little did you know though, the night was only just beginning for you. 

This proved to be true, when hours later, Jay stumbles into the house quite tipsy. “Jay?” You called out as you heard sluggish footsteps down the hall. Making your way to the living room, you find Jay leaning against the wall tugging off his tie. His eyes find yours in the open space. 

“Wow,” He drawls. “Look who's actually home tonight.”

You scoff at the words tumbling from his mouth. 

“Are you drunk?”

“Didn’t have a hot date lined up?” He asks, completely ignoring your statement. Who was he to question you? 

“Didn’t you?” You reply back. He tilts his head back in amusement. “The only woman I want on my arm is the one standing in this room.” A smirk forms on his face. You can see the hunger in his eyes underneath the lowlights of the living room.

“That’s too bad. She didn’t get an invite.” He stalks over to you, eyes drinking in your half naked form. You were only in a long shirt and panties. You didn’t have it in you to be self-conscious when you first left your room. But the way his eyes took you apart, you were beginning to feel the effect.

“Would you have come if I begged?”

“I would’ve done a lot of things if you begged me.” By now, he is standing in front of you. The first three buttons of his dress shirt unbuttoned successfully. His hands come to rest upon your waist. The smell of him is intoxicating. The room is heavy with a sensual atmosphere. You both were teetering back on the edge of that dangerous game.

“Yeah? Say it again.” He commands with a whisper. You shudder at the attention of his gaze. He presses you into the wall behind you. “You like it when I beg? Tell me again.” His lips graze your jawline. How you got in this predicament so quickly? You hardly know. But what you do know is this, Jay’s actions are being controlled by his alcohol consumption. Clearing your mind, you push him lightly. 

“You're drunk, Jay. Let me get you some water.” What you don’t expect is for him to corner you at the sink as you get him a glass. He cages you in. Hot breath fans your ear as he says, “Will you let me touch you if I beg?”

“Jay—” You start.

“Please.” The brokenness of his whisper drowns out any other noise. Including your rational thinking. 

The tightrope you both were barely balancing on snaps. 

Throwing all caution to the wind, you set the glass aside and pull him into a searing kiss. He groans into your mouth, finally getting to have a taste after so long. His hands grip the flesh of your cheeks as he grinds against you. His lips taste of tangerine whiskey sour. Your favorite drinks respectively. 

“Jay.” You whisper against his lips. He hoists you up on the counter, standing between your legs. Pulling away, he stares dazedly at your face. “I fought so hard against this carnal need. Do you have any idea what you do to me? Those nights I found you lying on the couch, I wanted to mount you and bulldoze you on every surface. Like a bunch of rabid animals. That’s how I wanted to fuck you.” 

Whimpers spill from your lips as you try to clench your legs shut. “Uh uh,” Jay lightly slaps your thighs. “Keep these open for me. Yeah?” You nod your head dumbly. 

“Good girl.” He whispers against your lips. 

Then he’s pulling back to stare at your cunt. Your pussy is already wet with anticipation. A wet patch forms on your underwear. Jay groans when he sees it. 

“So wet already. All this for me?” 

“Yes.” You whine. 

Biting his lip, he chuckles before leaning back in to kiss you. The kiss is messy with desire. You both nip at each other’s lips, battling for dominance. Jay’s fingers trail down to your clothed pussy. He rubs circles over your clit. You swallow a moan deep in your throat. 

“You like that baby?” His fingers work desperately over that sweet spot. 

“Yeees,” you’re practically sobbing. He smirks. Then he’s pulling your panties aside and shoving his ring and middle fingers in you. Gasping, you tilt your head back as he sucks marks into your neck. The wet squelching of him finger fucking you echoes through kitchen.

“So fucking messy.” He sticks his tongue into your ear. 

“Oh, God.” You cry out. Just as the band in your abdomen is about to snap, he stops. 

You huff in frustration. “Why’d you stop?”

“Because I’m starving. Don’t you want to let me have this pussy for dessert?” That was the fairest warning he could give before he was on his knees. Pulling your panties down in one go, he devours your pussy on the kitchen floor. You hold on to the counter as he eats you out like a dying man. 

Your toes curl at the pleasure his tongue gives. His eyes brand your soul as he laps at your clit messily. He groans into your cunt when you pull his hair. It doesn’t take long from that point for your orgasm to creep upon you. With a high pitched keen in the back of your throat, you cum all over his face. 

He continues to bury his face in your pussy as he works you through it. Lapping up the rest of your juices, he pulls back. He gives you a cheeky smile, lower half of his face wet with your fluid. 

“Let me make love to you.” And he does. He takes you apart on the same couch he envisioned fucking you on multiple times. You’ve thought it before, but Jay is a great lover. A pleaser. He loves to give pleasure to his partners more than receiving it. Even still, you give him what he is owed. His hand guides your head as you slobber all over his cock. 

“Fuck.” He grunts, as you hollow your cheeks. You flick your tongue around the head as you fondle his balls. Pulling back, you let your drool drip down his length before you dive in to suck his balls. 

If Jay didn’t know any better, he’d think you to be a succubus. Because you were definitely sucking his soul, straight out of his ballsack.

Not wanting to cum too soon, he pulls you off. Then he lays you on the couch and lines himself up with your entrance. “Do you care if I wear a condom or not?”

“No. You’re my husband, right? Cum in me. I’m yours.” And Jay is groaning as he sinks into your heat. You hold hands as he rocks into you at a steady pace. 

It doesn’t take much longer for you both to reach your high. You pull him closer as he cums inside of you. Lips locked in a passionate kiss. “Thank you.” He whispers against your lips. 

That night had been euphoric. You were content to believe that everything had progressed for the better. But perhaps, the joke was on you. You and Jay seemed to find middle ground. Him actively working on talking to you and coming home at reasonable times. After that night of passionate sex, he even took to kissing you. But most things don’t last if his mother is involved. That was one thing Jay couldn’t improve. Her deplorable behavior. She set Jay up on a date. 

How you found out was accidental. Jay had discarded his phone on the counter when he walked in the house. He went to shower, stating he had a business dinner to tend to later that night. It really was a shame that he had his text previews on. Because his mother kept blowing up his phone with messages. The final one? A picture of a fair skinned young woman with an innocent gaze. Then the time and place. Followed up with, ‘don’t be late.’

Everything around you seemed to stop. There was no way Jay was about to go on this date his mother had set up. Had the sex meant nothing to him? Was he… playing you? 

Confused, you just set the phone down and waited for him to come back out. He was dressed in burgundy dress pants with a crème polo shirt. He wore an Armani watch with a brown band and gold face. Hair slicked back, he looked good. And he smelled it too. 

“Hi.” He smiled softly, kissing your cheek. He moved behind you to pick up his phone. You analyzed him as he read the messages. Facial expression unreadable, he pockets his phone, moving towards the walkway entrance. Picking up his wallet and keys, he turns back to you. There you stand in the living room doorway. 

“I’ll be back later tonight, baby.” Baby. A slip of the tongue that he had gotten used to calling you. 

“Where did you say you were going again?” 

“Bella Noche Bistro. I have a reservation for 9 PM. I’m already running behind. I need to be out the door.” He rushes over to give you one more kiss, and then he is gone.

Bella Noche Bistro at 9 PM. With Hwang Soyeon. The exact same text message his mother sent him. The son of a bitch was playing you.

Trying to calm your mind, you spent the next hour and a half cleaning. Part of you wishes you never cleaned Jay’s office. However, the other part of you that strongly identifies as his wife, is glad. Going through his drawers, straightening up things, you discover something you probably shouldn’t have. There, sitting on top of another stack of papers is a document. Which reads ‘Divorce Agreement’ in bold letters. 

Jongseong planned on… divorcing you? Sitting down, you take a moment to gather your thoughts. So, that’s why he was out at these late night dinners. He was shopping for a new wife. At least that’s what you told yourself. 

Every part of you is pissed regarding this. How could he do this to you? After everything you’ve been through? Your entire life was upended for him. You suffered through a traumatic miscarriage. You were depressed, alone. But you stuck it out and stayed with him. Yet this is how he repays you? 

Betrayal shot like an arrow deep into your heart. The red string of fate that tied you to Jongseong felt so much like a noose in this given moment. Everything is so impossible with this family. Between his mother and him, you aren’t sure who deserves your wrath more at this moment. But not to worry. You would bide your time. This marks the official checkpoint of you checking out. You were done, tired of being life’s punching bag. So you put the paper back, close the drawer, turn off the light, and walk back out of that fucking place. Showering, you figure out exactly what to do. 

You wouldn’t act now though. You would be patient.

And you would mention nothing of it to Jay when he comes home with syrupy lips of whiskey. And you would say nothing as he kisses you, making love to you again and again. All while shopping around for dates. And you would just smile, as he left for another day of work. Then you would pick up the phone and call Hyori. Because Hyori and Mei had their own plan separate from you, one that required an upheaval of their lives. 

A relative of Hyori’s had passed away. And being their only next of kin, left her a nice, spacious home off on the coast. As her inheritance, she wanted to turn it into a bed and breakfast. They had floated the idea to you a month ago, stating that they would move there permanently. It hand stung then, to hear that your two new friends planned on leaving. You felt selfish in wanting them to stay. But now, there was no need. Because you were about to give the Park family exactly what they wanted. 

If a divorce was what they wanted, then a divorce was what they would get. 

A few days later, when Jay is out, you would go back to his office to look through his things. The document in question, unmoved from where you left it. It seemed as though he was really considering this. Well, you’d just have to beat him to the punch then wouldn’t you? Flipping through the pages, you would find the dotted line your signature needed to be on. In just a few short swoops, it would be signed. Once again, sealing your fate. 

And a week from now, when Jay comes home. You will be long gone. 

© seoulfulbliss— all rights reserved to this archive. please don’t repost without my permission. modifications of any kind is not tolerated, this is my creative content.

[babelrevived]

But that's exactly why I don't like this addition to his story! Like in s1, it seemed like so many people were killed but Vander kept fighting until he sees two little girls who he doesn't know personally crying because their parents got killed in the riot that HE started. Then he realizes that all this fight has done is bring loss after loss for his people and they still have not gotten their freedom, and he feels responsible for the loss of these little girls as well as everyone else's (to be clear I dont agree with this but I'm saying this is how he probably felt). And then s2 undoes all of that by making him besties with the mom, then it seems like he gives up because he feels guilty that his actions caused pain to his godkids specifically. Apparently Sico throwing the molotov is what kickstarted the violence that day (i dot remember if this was in the show or if a writer said it but wtv), but when Vander wrote him the letter he specifically says that Felicia is the reason he lost his head, not all the other people he doesn't personally know who also died. That makes no sense if he's going to blame Silco for Felicia's death why not blame him for the deaths of all the other people who died because of the violence that Silco kickstarted? (I don't agree that it was his fault btw). You can see my point of how his feelings of guilt would be much more meaningful if he didn't know these kids right? That he gave up the fight because he felt that it would cause all of his people pain, not because he's scared the people he loves will get hurt by it. There is guilt in both these situations but one is underlined by selfishness and the other was not. This would be a different story if Vander wasn't the leader of the liberation movement, in which case giving up after the person he loves gets killed would be completely valid. But he was their leader and by giving up but still not stepping down from his leadership position he was holding everyone else back and keeping them down when we see clearly that they all wanted to fight.

For me personally, while I didn't agree with him at all and thought he was kind of a twat, I was really able to sympathize a lot with s1 Vander. He was easily one of my favorite characters. S2, in trying to make him the good guy, ended up making him look like a complete douchebag and so much less sympathetic than he was in s1

^^^ This “criticism” often comes at the expense of details in the scene they laud so highly.

Vi and Powder approach a burly man beating someone up without fear in a setting where any normal person would be terrified to meet someone who might do them harm.

They approach him and point to themselves, indicating they’re looking for their parents.

Vander ACKNOWLEDGES their gesture and points to their parent’s dead bodies. Meaning not only do they know he’s someone they can trust, but that he KNEW who they were and who their parents were.

The “revelation” in season 2 that Vander knew them doesn’t change the way this scene plays out in the opening. It’s clear as day that they aren’t just some random kids he adopts. He KNEW them. They knew HIM. That’s all shown in the opening scene.

I do not understand where this wishful misinterpretation comes from.

[wackywatchdotcom]

i will say im not super invested in the idea of the show giving us too much information on c&a. like itll be super cool if we find out about it! and im sure itll be relevant information if we do but i think the information we get is going to be not super indepth, because im not sure itd match the tone of the show? its less about mystery and like The Lore and more about the characters and examining how different characters respond and have been responding to the environment set up by the show

(it WOULD be fun to learn more details about c&a and i AM curious i just dont think itd actually enhance much abt the show itself, and as such, i dont think its super important writing wise for the audience to learn about it either)

that SAID i do ascribe to the idea that ALL of the cast members worked for c&a before the ended up in the circus, no exceptions. i dont really know how say gangle or zooble wouldve ended up there, but i feel like they all ended up there one way or another. and i think most of the cast doesnt talk about their life in the real world bc its gone and theres no reason to dredge it up (or theyve forgotten it or most aspects of it), but it does make it fascinating that not even pomni, who has the least reason to avoid these topics at least early on, broached the subject of what in the WORLD is c&a UP to. it literally is never brought up ever as of ep 4. which makes me think the company was probably always super shady in some way to the pt that its employees were kinda desensitized to the idea that its c&as fault that horrible things happen

[sourseat]

got a lotta things done from my list today but not all. tomorrow list

morning routine (plus wash hair)

work really good all day

16:30 leave home, pick up bike from bike place (bring helmet and hi vis!)

18:00 pole

maybe: clean ensuite (scrub shower, sink, floors)

night routine :)

[grahamcarmen]

Hi, I hope you're doing great, and I hope this isn't weird but you seem to really hate season 3's ending, and I was wondering why cause personally I've always liked it.

i'm doing well enough !!! XD thanks and i hope you are too!!

I'm sorry to report that it is almost entirely irrational.

when it comes to theming its a conclusion that underlines the necessity of VILE being uncovered for the villains they are to the world when they've been so successfully in the shadows so far and the imminent undeniability of Carmen's own goodness in the coming season going along with the mask themes of that seasons: RIP THE MASK OFF TO REVEAL WHATS INSIDE! [darkest part music plays]

timeline wise its the second proof needed for Chase to completely confirm what Carmen let him know, that she is on the side fighting against people like roundabout and thus someone he needs to help not chase*(ha) around and make her life harder

fun tidbits wise: one of the all time shadowsan moments where he just dwarves whatever ego roundabout has in his abilities with his own experience " i was yakuza", zack and ivy in mustaches, carmen going sorry mate when she steals from le chevre, and gray being the ending note <3333 [my squishy fave i love him made me so happy to get that crumb in the gray desert that was s3] AND CARMEN IN GREEN AND BLUE AND SUNGLASSES AND LOCKPICKING!

hero win wise it actually is a big deal that its not just hurting their wallets and neutralizing their malicious deeds that she accomplishes this time, its taking out their tool for allowing them to bounce right back into the real world like weeds

looks wise i think it might be in the upper half of the series for me

but...

very funny to note that you sent this when my queue had spit out my trap gifset! /because lowkey thats probably the cause of my irritation

there is a constant enough through-line in the show about traps and being captured that happens often enough in the series that it caught my attention.

usually the mention of a trap is more to emphasize carmen's own daring and altruism as it doesn't matter if its a trap because there's something more important at stake so i don't pay it more mind than that-> Carmen will go because its worth fighting against any odds to do whats right

and it isn't like carmen is infallible shown by how many times she has been in genuine danger by getting trapped by VILE because she's outnumbered, outmatched, or her own caring is her undoing, this actually just happens in normal missions more often [with the brunt trap being the bigger outlier in the moment with roudabout SUPPOSEDLY THE NEXT...the actual next time is during julia's rescue for a little]

so. Odds CAN be stacked against her and sometimes it might be too much for her [see even within this season where lupe helps her with brunt and sonia helps her escape spintrap]

so then roundabout's case come up with the mwahaha we shall bait her ! and its another trap that carmen puts herself into for the greater good of keeping VILE from getting more money while roudabout thinks of the pomp of what is being stolen but makes it out because of her team and...thats...hmmm idk how to explain it

the episode tees a little bit into "wow what IF this trap was too much for Carmen" in the beginning for me before revealing there isn't actually any stakes , its a run of the mill carmen always had control of the situation so roundabout wasn't even competent enough to give her little trouble.

the worst thing was just probably the shock from the cop for speaking out of turn and like that's more the cop than roundabout

it does a good season finale job of THE POLICE FORCE GETS INVOLVED! THE IMPOSSIBLE MISSION! THE HELICOPTERS SURROUND AND THE FIREWORKS HAIL ITS END!!!! aaaaaaand...i know. i know that man isn't just ineffective but nuclear ineffective.

...GAH the episode where she got electrocuted and nearly flown over to VILE by spintrap because a one shot villain got to her was in this very season...Brunt marching herself down to show how helpless carmen COULD be if she hadn't had help was in this season...

i didn't even really care about the trap thing never super bearing any fruit during the series usually [again its more to highlight her heroic nature than be a threat and im ok with our main character of course surviving to steal another day instead] BUT it is a finale so - and then

in the end i just find myself bored and irritated by roundabout being played for the cheap kazoo he is for a season finale to appreciate all the good the episode does for the overall narrative

like shadowsan may have rescued her in s1 but Brunt WAS too much for Carmen alone and the shock of the near death hug was effective for me as a finale for bringing a new challenge and then a new ally for Carmen while teein up the next season

gah...he's also the last candidate for the faculty promotion before they just vote in a brainwashed carmen...hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

it has a lot of fun flash moments and carries the plot as admirably as the writing team has revealed themselves to be capable of doing, the animation remains beautiful and the theming is really fun to pick at and if i remember to start s4 before i quit for the day so i can keep following the unmasking true intentions theme i swallow it down better...

but 😫😫😫😫😫 sorry no matter how many times i give myself the "you're being unreasonable about this" speech i get angry during it BECAUSE its a finale and its the first time i'd felt asked to consider the word trap more seriously only to go nvm treat it like you always did ...and i was likeBOOOO I WOULDVE DONE THAT IF YOU JUST BOTHERED TO PUT THE CARMEN EXPLANATION WHERE IT WAS INSTEAD OF SMUGLY PULLING IT OUT LATER TO PUT ROUNDABOUT DOWN LIKE IDGAF ABOUT SHAKING HIS EGO DOWN I BARELY KNOW HIM

....

and the situation WAS going to be maybe too much for carmen if she hadn't worked with her team as effectively as she did

like a bait and switch [carmen overwhelmed alone recklessly trying to protect something from VILE bait switching to the solid power of having a cool team red who knew what they were doing]

i really wish i could appreciate more that zack, ivy, and shadowsan were all in on the plan vs s1 where he unceremoniously revealed himself and salvaged carmen's rescue plan [and save her] and s2 where carmen went recklessly to VILE isle while only letting zack and ivy in enough to know they needed to drive her to VILE isle

[and mind you i TRIED to appreciate that the dialogue isn't actually clunky and super playing to the audience to hide the reveal that "her being captured isn't a big deal" OK LIKE IT TECHNICALLY SHOULD GIVE ME ROOM TO PAY ATTENTION INSTEAD TO THE EVERYTHING ELSE, they didn't make a whole circus of deceiving the audience and yet even the mild song and dance they must do to deceive rounadbout!!! grr!!]

I REALLY WISH I DID APPRECIATE ALL THAT!!! but 😖😖😖😫im so mad i don't actually like that trope at all the structuring frustrates the hell out of me. watching carmen walk into the room and auto fail to be arrested has no bite for me since its just a little farce to keep him quiet and keeps me from eating the rest of the deliciousness the episode has to offer, i'm zoning out as shadowsan explains what they actually did this caper...

and as a finale the other half to the reoccuring pattern in cs structure is not there

....yet

but if i make sure to start s4 asap i can recognize it as as the trap ineffective but carmen isn't invulnerable theme halved because the s4 final batch of 3 episodes is the follow up where carmen just straight up gets kidnapped while she was chilling by the cleaners

->not untouchable

...im doing my best to clear the feeling , i just need like 7 more watches T.T and more chalking up the positives in my heart

like if i watch the gray selfie scene more there will only be love and peace on earth, if i take out my little cardboard sign to cheer for shadowsan to rarara home team maybe...

TLDR:

ITS SIMPLY IRRATIONAL DISTASTE IN MY HEART! SHADOWSAN UNVEILING THE REAAAAAL PLAN AT ROUNDABOUT BORES ME!!! THE ACTUAL CAPER PART OF THE CAPER IS NOT INTERESTING TO ME SO WELP!

i wish i had a better reason but i just do not have a good time with it <3

:D i'm glad you like it tho, whats most fun for you about it?

[lord-squiggletits]

IDW1 must take place on an alternate Earth where no one has ever heard of ACAB and everyone wears "thin blue line" merchandise because there's literally no other way that a single Autobot killing a USAmerican cop in self defense would be such worldwide news that even Mexican journalists would go "OMG???? You like, killed a cop?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?" and it wasn't even framed as like, "you killed a human," the phrasing every time any character talked about it was very specifically "he killed a cop".

The cop was also threatening to shoot a group of surrendering/not-attacking/injured Autobots btw which is just the icing on the cake honestly lmao

[welcometoteyvat]

AU where xiao has no karmic bonds anymore and works in liyue’s food delivery services

idk wanmin restaurant is expanding its service and xiangling heard zhongli telling guoba (when zhongli visits the ex-stove god the conversation is really one-sided but zhongli doesn’t mind, he can ramble enough for the both of them) that xiao is looking for work, and yknow, xiangling’s seen the young adeptus here and there and he’s praised her cooking before, both she and her dad don’t expect running deliveries to be that much work (plus he can teleport, it won’t be that hard) and he’ll get paid decently, why not offer him a job? he can pilot the program for a bit and then they’ll see whether it turns out ok, the worst thing that could happen is getting 1 star reviews on sevenstars.tyv for “unapproachable and frightening demeanor of delivery guy” (sumeru scholars invented the internet a couple years back or something). 

obviously zhongli says yes for xiao, because he thinks xiangling’s suggestion can do the young adeptus good—trusty old common wisdom states that food warms the heart and brings people together, and xiao (or any liyuen) is not an exception. and of course xiao agrees to zhongli’s proposal because when has he ever refused a request from his god and savior. never! zhongli and xiangling both assure him that he can refuse or resign at any point and neither will hold it against him, but of course xiao takes his job extremely seriously, and if yanwang di- no, if zhongli daren wants him to do it, of course he will.

xiao doesn’t have any feelings on the arrangements because it’s just another thing to keep him busy lol but he appreciates complimentary almond tofu, especially since he manages to persuade xiangling to make it the traditional way he likes it and save her new and improved tofu recipes for Other customers to try

xiangling sends xiao to more remote places at first to avoid crowds, which he appreciates, one time he goes to qingce village and ends up meeting little luo again, he doesn’t even remember her until she exclaims “you’re the adeptus who rescued my doll!!” with a giant smile on her face... were humans always so blindingly bright? he stiffly gives the family his greetings, and tries to smile a little bit at the girl (she’s extra pleased by this, maybe he’ll ask zhongli whether he has good smiles or whether they look like grimaces). little luo... was it? he should get xiangling to send her some candy next time.

he gets sent to the chasm one time bc the miners ordered hotpot as an end of season celebration, and he finds a small little memorial to the millelith who died in the chasm 500 years ago. after delivering the hotpot ingredients, xiao climbs to the top of the cliff to pick a qingxin and offer it to the memorial. the other yakshas were always pretty fond of humans, so it’s only natural. 

when he gets a little more used to the city xiangling sends him to deliver stuff around liyue harbor itself—one time the delivery was for hu tao, xingqiu, and chongyun, hanging around wangsheng parlor. usually xiangling would join them herself, and the young opera director yun jin and their rockstar friend xinyan visit too, but the three were busy with their own plans that time and it fell to xiao to deliver their dinner: light translucent shrimp dumplings without carrots, a bowl of cooling soup, and filleted fish. he hears them playing a rowdy game of something (mahjong... with only three players? or maybe tcg.... but as a 2 v 1 game? he’s getting more and more confused by the second) before the door’s opened by hu tao; she seems really ecstatic to see him, except her smirk sobers up quickly once they hear chongyun shouting “hey! you stole my cards!!” regardless she thanks him for the food, and then tells him a joke that really shouldn’t be funny at all except the corners of his mouth quirk up against his will. of course hu tao notices this, she’s always been a mischievous child too clever for her own good, and she smiles even wider in return and tells him that he’s welcome any time in her house. if he brings a couple hilichurls along he’s even more welcome

and of course, a lighthearted scene where, surprisingly, zhongli also places an order, but it isn’t sent to wangsheng funeral parlor, xiao goes all the way to jueyun karst and delivers the order to cloud retainer, mountain shaper, and moon carver. they’re just chilling and zhongli is introducing them to take out. “so, what do you all think of wanmin’s handiwork?” xiao tries to leave before any of them can start droning on and on, but obviously he ends up spending the whole meal with them because nobody can escape the sheer force of zhongli and cloud retainer infodumps. the other adeptus ask after him and the meal is generally silly banter: there’s a digression on triangular cups,,,, some nagging for xiao to eat more, “look at my newest invention isn’t it wonderful”,,,,,, and other small and incredibly mundane nothings that keep the conversation flowing like the tea from their triangular cups. insignificant occurrences in more peaceful lives, and maybe xiao is learning how to fall into this new rhythm of things... maybe he even likes it, maybe it will bring him more smiles in the days to come

yknow yknow do you feel me

very aware that some of this might be super ooc especially the adepti thing at the end but hey they can be silly as a treat, cloud retainer and co deserve a bit of adeptal entertainment time

[444venicebitch444]

Something something TF 141 gets a new secretary because their old one decided to finally retire, and you show up.

A sweet little thing, no military experience, all shy smiles and nervous chuckles, punctual and neat.

You take care of their paperwork, their mail, schedule their meeting, bring them coffee, and most importantly it’s not half bad to have a good set of legs and a pretty face to look at.

Price was a right gentleman, a nicer boss than you could’ve ever expected from a military man, and Soap and Gaz really had your confidence going whenever they made their flirtatious quips (which was everyday, really).

Ghost, though? Ghost was exactly what you’d expected after hearing the stories: a stoic, intimidating man who spoke in grunts and monosyllables, and who was, in your opinion, quite rude.

Did the man have no manners? Had his mother not taught him to say ‘thank you’?

You tried making an extra effort with him, your need to be liked overpowering your annoyance towards the lieutenant, because you intended to keep this job; the pay was great, it was a short drive from your apartment and you weren’t going to let a guy who wore a bloody skull balaclava everyday ruin this for you.

So you smiled more, made your good mornings and good afternoons sweeter, same as the tea you’d leave on his desk everyday at 4 pm sharp, and the little squiggly hearts you’d draw on the post it notes on top of his files. 

And when Simon’s grunts started mutating into full fledged sentences, and he actually told you a joke, you found yourself grinning, more out of self satisfaction than because of whatever ridiculous pun he’d said in that deep, rumbling voice of his.

For you, it was over, your plan had worked, and now all your bosses liked you, getting rid of that lingering uneasiness in the back of your head. 

For Simon, on the other hand? You’d unlocked Pandora's box, if said box contained the lieutenant’s affection (obsession) for you.

It was true, he hadn’t liked you at first: you disrupted the routine, the practised flow of the office, and gave Johnny and Kyle an excuse to be fucking insufferable in their working space instead of only in the shitty pubs where they’d drag him after shifts. He was going to lose his fucking mind if he had to hear another “can’t walk into the office looking that good, darlin’. won’t let me get anything done”.

The worst part was that they weren’t wrong; you were pretty and Simon couldn’t deny that. I mean, what did anyone expect, for him to not shoot a look at your arse in those tight trousers? He was but a man.

But when you started your little routine, it sent him down a spiral. What the fuck was your problem? Why would you draw a bloody heart next to the note that reminded him about his debrief? 

What you hadn’t understood, though, was that with a man like Simon Riley, that wasn’t just being nice, it wasn’t getting him to like you. it was an enablement of his ugly heart, something that fed the flames of his desires, because why else would be making him tea? that was practically a wedding vow, love. 

So he decided that you were his, that he didn’t need to discuss it with you because you already worried your pretty, little head too much with work and what future husband would he be if he didn’t try to make your life easier?

That included tellin Kyle to fuck off when he flirted with you, giving you a lift when your car broke down (which had absolutely nothing to do with simon messing with its battery), and helping you find your cat when it ran away (the fucking thing had scratched the hell out him when he’d taken it to that alleyway). 

The most important part of his duties, however, was watching you, making sure you were safe. Because who was gonna do it if not him? certainly not your, in his assessment, untrustworthy friends.

And your locks were so easy to pick, it had only taken him one try.

So Simon watched as you read a book and bought the same the very next day, he watched you prepare meal after meal with the nutritional value of a brick and made a mental note to make you something healthy when he’d finally cook for you, and he watched as you came out of the shower, completely enthralled.

Unfortunately, he had no way of looking into your bathroom but you’d walk into your room wrapped only in a towel so he wasn’t going to be too picky. Especially not when he got to see you rub that vanilla scented lotion that drove him insane into your soft skin, or drop the fluffy towel to the ground only to cover the delicate swell of your breasts with your pyjama top.

His favourite part, however, was without doubt when you’d lie against your pillows, your fingers dipping below your waistband. His sweet bird, not so innocent after all. 

His body would burn as he watched, his hands aching to replace your fingers, his tongue wetting his lips because it couldn’t touch yours.

He held onto every tiny gasp, every quiet whine, knowing that he’d make you sound so much better.

But he was patient and he was going to do things properly, take his time: take you to dinner, buy you gifts, eventually give you the ring he’d already bought. He wasn’t a total wanker, lovie.

So for now he was going to be satisfied with watching you and stealing your panties, offering a gruff “morning, sweetheart” the next day.