#and the funny thing is they got like a 3-4 year old phone with a cracked screen

[tchaikovskym]

0/10 for the leather market in florence, got my phone stolen (10/10 if you want detox from your phone though)

[alwaysmicado]

Trouble

5.3k | 18+ MDNI | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader | pt. 5

Warnings: no outbreak AU, implied age gap, D/s dynamic, rough oral (m receiving), spitting, cum eating, leg humping, degradation/praise, humiliation kink, pet names, aftercare, feelings Summary: After you’ve distracted Joel from work with your explicit texts all day, he decides to teach you a lesson.  A/N: Consensual degradation & humiliation – my beloved. This one's for you if you're into unadulterated filth with feelings sprinkled on top hehe. Let me know what you think, I love hearing your thots! 🤍

pt. 1 ・ pt. 2 ・ pt. 3 ・ pt. 4 ・ series masterlist

“You sure you got nothing else to say to me?”

“I’m—sorry?”

“No,” he tilts his head and you see the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “But you will be when I’m done with you.”

---

“Sneaking out for a hot date?” 

Busted. 

You sigh and turn around to face Kristen’s triumphant grin. Beautiful Kristen. The only person at your job with a bearable personality. 

If you only had Janice from accounting and her incessant yapping about her feral kids, or John from HR and his never-ending tirades against “modern women”, you probably would have burnt down the building already.  

Kristen’s been your lifeline over the past two years at this job. She’s upbeat, fun, a gifted painter and the closest thing to a female friend you have. 

Her only flaw: she’s so nosy it’s not even funny.

After your get-well-fuck with Joel three days ago where he left multiple marks on your neck, you not only plastered a bunch of foundation over the purple reminders of his fever-fueled nipping, you also wore a silk scarf which, in hindsight, was a dumb idea.

The first thing you were welcomed with when you came in that morning was an enthusiastic “You go, girl!” followed by giggling after Kristen saw your unimpressed face. 

You shoot her a half-hearted smile and raise an eyebrow. “Who says it’s a date?” 

Kristen’s grin widens. “Oh, come on! You think I don’t notice the way you giggle at your phone like a lovesick idiot?”

“Oh, shut up,” you protest in mock offense. What the hell is she talking about? You don’t do that. “I got a doctor’s appointment. Nothing hot about that,” you say nonchalantly.

Kristen leans in, lowering her voice dramatically. “A doctor, huh? Do you have an ache only he can cure with his special tool?”

“You’re a pervert, you know that?” 

“Yeah, duh. That’s why you love me,” she chuckles, causing the corners of your own lips to twitch. 

“Well,” she smirks, “I hope the doctor will take the best care of you.” 

You roll your eyes at her teasing, grab your bag and blow her a kiss before heading out. You leave the office with a grin, reveling in the sunshine that greets you when you step out.

The warmth of the day feels refreshing against your skin as you stroll to the parking lot. Your dress, despite being a result of prolonged laundry procrastination, is surprisingly comfortable, allowing you to appreciate the light breeze that rustles its fabric. 

The sun casts a golden hue on the cityscape and you can't help but smile at the small pleasures of life – the sun on your face, a staff meeting getting canceled earlier, finding twenty bucks in an old pair of jeans this morning.

Life is okay at the moment.

Despite work kicking your ass, your mother trying to guilt-trip you into coming “home” and the last hookup you had throwing you out in the middle of the goddamn night because his wife came home from her business trip early.

You’re feeling good. 

One might even say you’re happy.

If only there wasn’t this nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You take a deep breath and straighten your shoulders when you see your Uber pull up. Get yourself together. 

The car winds through the city streets, and as you give Joel's address to the driver, you can't help but feel a flutter of anticipation. The engine hums softly as you navigate the familiar turns, presenting the perfect background to lose yourself in a daydream.

As you settle into the comfort of your bed, the world outside fades away. In the gentle embrace of your imagination, you feel a figure appear behind you. Their warmth is a soothing balm, and as they pull you close, a profound sense of security envelops you. The weight of the world, of your being lifts, replaced by the tender reassurance of this ethereal embrace.

In this imagined sanctuary, sleep finds you easily, cradled in the arms of solace. The whispered promise of warmth and safety lingers, allowing dreams to unfold like petals, undisturbed and serene in the soft glow of moonlight.

The notification sound of your phone pulls you back to reality. Glancing at the screen, you see Joel's name. You open the message and involuntarily press your thighs together, your pulse quickening instantly. 

Door’s open. Get naked, then come upstairs.You’re in real trouble, angel.

---

The familiar scent of Joel’s home greets you when you step inside. It smells more like home than your apartment or any other place you’ve lived in since you were a child. Safe, warm, comforting – like its owner. And it’s a surprisingly well-decorated and welcoming home for a bachelor.

So much so that you asked him flat out if he had a wife on your first night together.

You take your shoes off and put your bag on the couch in the living room before heading to the downstairs bathroom to wash your hands and quickly check if you look presentable. Your eyes are a bit swollen from lack of restful sleep, but other than that, you’re good to go.

As you take your dress, bra and panties off, you somewhat fondly remember the last time Joel ordered you to his home because you were sending him filthy texts and photos while you both were at work. 

You spent thirty minutes sitting still on his lap while he worked on his computer, his throbbing cock buried deep inside you. Every time he would shift in his chair a little, you would whimper into the crook of his neck and he would whisper into your ear how well you were doing for him and draw soothing circles on your back with his palm.

You hated and loved every torturous second of it. 

The office door is open when you come upstairs. Your eyes widen when you see Joel sitting at his desk. It’s incredible how handsome he looks. He’s wearing a black t-shirt, blue gym shorts and his glasses as he’s staring at the computer and typing something with his index fingers.

Your heart starts beating faster as you take him in, the domesticity of this scene giving you an unexpectedly warm feeling deep within you. 

“You just gonna stand there and stare at me?” Joel asks with a swivel of his chair, his body now facing yours. He saw you out of the corner of his eye before but now that he’s getting a good look at you, his jaw almost hits the floor.

He will never get used to seeing you naked. 

“God, you’re so much more beautiful in real life,” he murmurs, his pupils blown wide and the admiration in his voice unmistakable.

You give him a satisfied smile as you lean against the doorframe. “I sure hope so,” you tease. 

“Do you know why you’re here, darlin’?” Joel asks with a tilt of his head, his brow slightly furrowed.

“I’m assuming it has something to do with the silly little texts and pics I sent you to brighten up your day,” you say, feigning innocence. “Did you like them?” 

“You really think now’s the time to be a brat, huh?” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Alright, then.” His eyes sparkle dangerously as he sits back in his chair and spreads his legs wider.

“You sure you got nothing else to say to me?”

“I’m—sorry?”

“No,” he tilts his head and you see the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “But you will be when I’m done with you.”

You bite your lip as your eyes focus on the visible bulge in Joel’s shorts, and try to suppress the huge grin that’s threatening to spread across your face. This is exactly what you wanted and you both know it.

“Hands and knees, baby,” Joel orders calmly and puts his hands on his thighs. “C’mere.”

You lower yourself on all fours without hesitation and crawl towards him slowly, making sure to sway your hips and never break eye contact. Joel’s the only person you’d put yourself in such a submissive position for and you revel in the exhilarating feeling it gives you.

Joel keeps his eyes trained on you, subtly rubbing his thighs as you come closer to where he’s needed you all day. His eyes are dark and full of need as he licks his lips and follows the mesmerizing movement of your body. He likes how you, despite your brattiness, know perfectly well where your place is. 

“Look at what you did,” he says, once you’re kneeling on all fours between his spread legs. He palms his throbbing cock over the fabric and your eyes widen a little, your pussy clenching around nothing.

“That's right, baby, you did this. And now you need to take responsibility for your actions.” He gently caresses your cheek, tracing your lips with his thumb.

When he presses on your lower lip, you instinctively open your mouth enough for his finger to slip inside. He presses on your tongue, admiring the feeling and your willingness to submit.

“Look at you,” he chuckles, gently rubbing his cock. “Such a little slut, always wants something in her mouth.”

He moves his thumb further along your tongue, causing you to furrow your brow and gag a little. “You couldn't help yourself, huh, just had to put on a show all day like the needy whore you are.” 

He takes his thumb out of your mouth and pulls his shorts all the way down, letting them fall on the floor next to his chair. His heavy cock flops against his lower belly, causing you to swallow and part your lips instinctively. Joel smirks at your reaction, enjoying the raw need sparkling in your eyes as he strokes himself slowly.

You start squirming, pressing your thighs together to alleviate at least some of the uncomfortable ache between your legs, and let out an almost inaudible whine as Joel continuously strokes up and down his length while looking at you curiously. 

He leans in and tilts your chin up, his dark eyes boring into you.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” He asks softly, feigning concern. He looks from you to his cock and back, raising an eyebrow. “All of this just because you’re a pathetic little cockslut with nothing else in her dumb little head than my cock. Isn’t that right, angel?”

You nod slowly, your lips slightly parted, hypnotized by Joel’s big eyes and filthy words.  

“Use your words, slut,” he growls, gripping the back of your neck to tilt your head up even more. 

“I just—wanted you so bad, I–” 

“Aww, of course you did,” he teases you, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Tell me your safeword, angel.” 

He looks into your eyes intently as you say it out loud, then puts a soft kiss on your lips. You whimper when he withdraws, the feeling of his warm lips lingering. 

“Open up,” he orders with a tap of his fingers to your bottom lip. “Stick your tongue out for me.” 

You obey and do as he says, looking into his eyes expectantly. You watch in awe and pure need as the thick glob of saliva makes its way down from Joel’s mouth and lands on the back of your tongue. A shiver runs down your spine as you feel it run down your throat. 

“Swallow.” He gently puts a strand of hair behind your ear as you show him your empty mouth. “Good girl.”

You moan softly at his praise and furrow your brow when your eyes find his cock again. 

“You really want it, huh,” Joel purrs, trailing your neck and chest gently with his hands. When he brushes your nipples, you wince a little, eliciting a low chuckle from him. “Spread your legs, baby. Let me see your little pussy.” 

He sucks in a sharp breath, his cock twitching impatiently when you sit back on your heels and present your glistening folds.

“Fuck me,” he murmurs, tracing your belly all the way down to your mound and stopping right before touching your clit. “Must’ve been uncomfortable to sit in that all day, hm?” 

He gently pulls your lips apart with his thumbs and index fingers, inspecting you closely. “Your little clit is so swollen, baby, does it hurt?” 

“Mhm,” you whine, his touch so close to your neglected bundle of nerves torturing you beyond belief. “It–it hurts so bad, Sir.” 

“Hmm,” he searches your eyes, “and that’s why you thought it was a good idea to send me all those naughty messages?” He spreads your lips apart further, eliciting a long moan from you. “You thought I’d fuck you if you did?”

“Y–yes,” you stammer, your legs trembling, “I’m sor–”

You’re cut off when Joel lets go of your lips and swipes his fingers through your dripping wet folds agonizingly slowly, once, twice, three times, barely brushing your pulsating clit. 

Listening to the noises you make and feeling your hot cunt on his hand is enough to make him almost come, despite his cock not having any contact at the moment. His eyes never leave yours as you whimper desperately, his barely there touch enough to build your long overdue orgasm.

“Go on, angel,” he withdraws his hand and holds his hand up to your lips, “clean up the mess you made.”

He pushes his wet fingers into your mouth, forcing you to suck your own juices off of him. You do so eagerly, sucking and licking his fingers, moaning around them. 

“You would’ve sucked my cock in front of everyone if I had let you, huh.” You let out a desperate moan, feeling your pussy get wetter at the thought. “That’s right, baby,” Joel chuckles. “Show everyone you’re my little cockslut.”

He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, satisfied with the job you did, then grabs your chin hard, his wet fingers pressing into your hot cheeks.

“You want it so bad, baby? Then beg for it.” 

“Please,” you whine. “Please let me suck your cock, please, I–I want your cock so bad—”

“All yours, baby.”

He leans back in his chair, clasping his hands behind his head, looking at you through lidded eyes. 

“Fuuuck, that’s it,” Joel groans as you start licking and sucking at his balls, then lightly trace the veins of his cock with your warm tongue, swirling it around the tip, licking up the salty precum. You look at him expectantly as you lick up and down his length, fondling his balls with your hand. 

He smiles at the needy look in your eyes, finding it unbelievably hot that you want to, need to hear his praise so badly even though it’s obvious that everything you do to him is and feels beyond perfect. 

“Good girl,” he says softly, eliciting a little whimper from you. “Now stop teasing and take it.”

You immediately hold him up by the base and take the tip into your mouth, sucking on it eagerly. You take him further, inch by inch, bobbing your head up and down his shaft until he’s nudging the back of your throat. Your eyes well over with tears as you gag around his cock. Joel groans in response, his whole body tensing as he tangles his hands in your hair.

You make a surprised sound when he leans over you and pushes your head down until your nose is rubbing his pubic hair, giving you no chance to move your head. He keeps his length buried deep inside you for a few seconds before pulling you up, a thick string of saliva mixed with precum connecting you two, only to push you right back down.

“Fuck, I love the sounds you make,” Joel pants as you choke and whine loudly. 

He pulls your head back up to let you catch your breath and make sure you’re enjoying yourself as much as he is. He knows from the look in your eyes that you are, but he wants to make sure before you continue. 

“What’s your color, angel?” 

You look at him with bleary eyes, but give him a dazed smile and whisper, “Green.”

Joel nods and caresses your wet cheeks, wiping away some of your tears with his thumbs. 

He traces your swollen lips with the head of his cock, loving the way his precum sticks to them. 

“Breathe through your nose, baby,” he pants. “Can’t have you passing out on me.”

You wrap your lips around his head, swirl your tongue around it, then bob your head again – messily, sloppily, just the way he likes it. 

“Good girl,” he breathes, thrusting his hips to slide in and out of your mouth, smiling at you and petting your hair. “Such a perfect little fleshlight.”

You tremble and moan around him, not entirely sure if his filthy mouth, his groaning, or the fact that he’s using you for his pleasure  is turning you on the most. You just know you love it when he holds your head steady and fucks your mouth roughly, taking what he wants from you, making you gag and choke, saliva and tears running down your cheeks, chin, neck, and body.

You look like a masterpiece. 

“I’m close, baby,” Joel pants, your perfect, wet mouth and the admiration he sees in your big, wet eyes making him tremble every time he thrusts his hips into you. You push him right over the edge when you squeeze his balls hard. 

He comes with a strangled groan, shooting rope after rope of warm cum down your throat and onto your tongue. You welcome it with eager moans, so far gone that you don’t realize what you’re doing until after it’s too late — you swallow it all without his permission.

Fatal mistake. 

Joel grabs you by your hair, pulling you off his pulsating cock, still breathing heavily.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh?”

Your eyes widen in shock, your lip quivering. “I–I'm sorry, I–I forgot.”

“You forgot?” Joel sighs and raises his eyebrows. He loosens his grip in your hair and looks at your eyes welling up with tears. You stumble over your words as you keep apologizing over and over again. You’re so perfect like this. 

“What’s your color, baby?” 

“Green, Sir,” you sniffle. “It’s green.”

“Now what am I supposed to do with a fleshlight that doesn’t work right, hm?” He tilts your chin up and rubs it softly with his thumb. “Do you think you deserve to get fucked?”

“I’m—please, I'll be good, I promise,” you choke out through tears and hiccups. “Please, I’ll do anything you want, just please—”

Joel smirks and leans back in his chair. “No need to tell me that, angel. I know you’ll do anything.” He lifts his foot between your thighs, eliciting a small, needy noise from you when he presses it against your swollen cunt.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby. All from being used, hm?”

“Yes, Sir,” you whine, wiping your cheeks and trying your hardest to stay still. “Thank you.”

“Such a pathetic little slut.” He rubs his foot against your folds, and you moan, closing your eyes, your lips trembling, your face hot from embarrassment and arousal. Joel presses harder and you cry out, your hips jerking instinctively. 

“Pathetic enough to hump my leg?”

He snorts when he sees the stunned look on your face. You are definitely startled, but you don't protest. Joel can see a mix of hesitation and need in your eyes, and he understands that he needs to push you.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” he says, gently petting your hair, “so you better thank me for letting you come at all.”

He sighs and pulls your head back by your hair when you don’t answer fast enough. 

“Use your words, slut.”

“Th–thank you,” you whimper. “I–I just–” You trail off, too shocked and embarrassed to finish your sentence, your voice trembling as you babble unintelligibly.

You hear Joel say your name and feel him cup your cheeks. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

You sniffle and try to focus on his eyes. “Tell me your color,” he says gently, his deep voice soothing your nerves. 

“Still green,” you breathe, swallowing hard. 

He searches your eyes and nods before sitting back up and extending his leg a little.

“Go on, then.”

You look at the satisfied smirk on his face before taking a deep breath and scooting forward, adjusting yourself against Joel’s leg. Gripping Joel’s thigh for balance, you tilt your hips forward until your clit makes contact with his hairy leg. You shudder at the feeling, a needy little moan escaping your lips. 

Joel’s pupils are so blown, his eyes are completely black now. 

You slowly drag your hips upward and duck your head, embarrassed that you’re actually enjoying this – and that you’re this wet. After slowly rocking your hips up and down a few times, you can’t keep yourself from moaning anymore. It feels to fucking good.

You shift a little and allow yourself to set a pace that will make you come. You nuzzle your face against Joel’s thigh and don’t hold back anymore, rutting against his leg with abandon, chasing your release. 

“That’s it, angel,” Joel purrs, gently brushing a wet strand of hair out of your face. “You’re doing so well for me.”

You rock your hips against his leg over and over again, your brows furrowed, whimpering desperately as you grind your wet folds against Joel’s leg, the friction causing your whole body to shudder.

Joel fucking loves seeing you like this; pliant, obedient, wanting to be good so badly that you’d do anything to please him. Most of all, though, he loves how much you trust him. 

“You’re such a good girl,” he praises, tilting your chin up to look into your glazed over eyes. “My good girl.”

You moan at his words, your fingers digging into the flesh of his thighs, your hips jerking frantically, desperate for release. Joel smiles softly at your reaction, reveling in the fact that he's ruining you for anyone else.

He fucking delights in it.

“That’s right, angel. Keep looking at me with those beautiful eyes.”

You barely hear what he says as your breathing comes out in noisy, deep gasps, too far gone, too overwhelmed to feel embarrassed at fucking yourself on Joel’s leg. There are no thoughts left in your brain, your only focus now is chasing your climax.

“Feels good, huh? Such a spoiled brat, aren’t you,” he taunts, marveling at your blissed out expression and the sheen of sweat glistening on your naked body.

“You think you deserve to come, hm? Even though you’re just a dumb little whore, only good for taking my cock in all her holes?”

That’s almost enough right there to tip you over the edge. 

“Tell me what you are.”

You let out a choked sob, fresh tears making their way down your cheeks. Joel wipes them away with his thumbs as you stutter, “I’m–I’m your dumb little whore, Sir. I’m all yours — please, please–”

He gives you a warm smile as his dark eyes bore into. “Come for me, angel.”

You press your throbbing clit hard against him, humping his leg feverishly until the tension finally snaps and shockwaves grip your whole body, your legs trembling as you moan uncontrollably. Your walls contract around nothing as you collapse onto Joel’s thigh and start sobbing.

It’s all too much right now. 

He immediately draws you into his strong arms, lifting you up and cradling you. “Shh, sweetheart,” he purrs, holding you tight and stroking your hair, “you did so well. Are you alright, hm? You want me to go get you a towel?”

Your eyes widen at the suggestion of him leaving you, causing you to shake your head fervently, your tears flowing freely now as you gradually come down from your high. 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby” he coos, putting soft kisses on the top of your head and rubbing soothing circles on your back. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

You're still naked and Joel wants you to feel comfortable and warm, so he swivels you two towards the couch to snag the blanket and drape it over you. He holds you close, whispering into your hair how well you did and how good you are, intermittently pressing soft kisses on your wet face. 

You feel the steady rise and fall of his chest with each breath, a comforting rhythm that wraps around you like a protective cocoon. The warmth emanating from his body seeps into yours, making you feel calm and protected. 

Joel’s not surprised that you need physical affection and closeness right now, knowing that humiliation is one of the most effective ways to make you fly – and crash.

Falling apart in front of somebody, allowing them to see you in such a raw, uninhibited state, is an incredibly vulnerable act.

Joel is not taking your trust lightly. 

When he sees you wipe your nose with your arm, he swivels you back to his desk and opens the drawer to get you some tissues. Your heart skips a beat when you see what else is inside, but you keep quiet. 

“Was I really good?” You mumble after listening to Joel’s calming heartbeat for a few minutes.

“You were perfect, baby,” he says softly, pressing a tender kiss on the crown of your head. 

“So, can you fuck me now?”

The vibrations of Joel’s chuckles reverberate beneath you, making you laugh yourself. 

“How about we make sure you drink enough and eat something first, hm?”

“Just say that your refractory period is getting longer, old man.” 

“Why, hello,” he laughs and pinches your sides, making you squeal, “the princess is back.” You lift your head to look into his eyes. His beautiful, warm eyes. “You think I’ll fuck you if you keep being a brat, hm?” 

“That’s exactly what I think. Because you always do. Because you love it.” 

“Wow,” he chuckles and shakes his head. “All this just now and you’re still sassing me?”

“Just admit you fucking love it, so we can move on and decide what we wanna have for dinner,” you murmur. 

Joel can’t hold back the beaming smile that’s spreading across his face.

Save for last time, you usually leave shortly after you’ve come down. He’ll sometimes ask if you want to stay a bit, but will never pressure you into doing so – even if it hurts him. 

And it does, sometimes, if he’s being honest. 

“Alright, alright,” he sighs deeply, his smile betraying his mocking tone. “I fucking love it when you’re a little brat and torture me all fucking day, making me sit in a fucking meeting for hours on end with a hard cock, listening to some rich fucks who want me to build some bullshit building for them.” 

You giggle at the description of his day and kiss his dimple. “I really am sorry, you know.”

“No you’re not,” he shakes his head. “Now, what are you in the mood for?”

“Can we, um, can we go eat the fattiest, unhealthiest junk food ever and then wash it down with huge cups of pure sugar, so we’re both gonna have a stomach ache for the next three days?” 

“Have I ever told you you’re perfect before?”

---

You step out of the shower, dry off, wash your face with Joel’s face wash and drink a glass of water. Joel put your bag outside the door when you were in the shower, giving you space to do your thing and going downstairs to take a shower there himself.

You’re kind of tired now, feeling a little burnt out.

You put on your panties and retrieve the comfy gym shorts you were smart enough to bring with you from your bag. They’re the only other clean piece of clothing besides the dress you could find in your drawer this morning.

“Joel?” You shout from the top of the stairs. 

“Yeah?”

“Can I borrow a t-shirt?” 

“Sure, darlin’. Just grab one you like.” 

“Thank you.” 

You smile and make your way to Joel’s bedroom. Opening the drawer, your eyes fall on a white shirt you’ve seen him wear many times. Don’t do it. You sigh defeatedly and lift the shirt up to your face, inhaling the unmistakable scent. 

Then you suddenly remember it. Fuck. You need to make sure. 

You put on the shirt and quickly walk to the office. Taking a deep breath and making sure Joel’s not watching you snoop through his things, you open the drawer. 

The polaroid feels strange in your hand as you lift it to take a closer look. 

It’s one of Tommy, you and Joel in it, from the night Tommy introduced you two. You don’t even remember taking this one, but now that you’re looking at it, you see something. It’s the way you’re smiling.

You turn the photo and read the handwritten note that catches your eye. 

when I met her

You swallow hard and put it back. It doesn’t mean anything. You hung the other polaroid, the one of only you and Joel, up in your apartment and that doesn’t mean anything either—right?

“Babe?” Joel’s voice pulls you back.

You turn around and look at him, startled. “I, uh, was just looking for some batteries. Couldn’t find any though.” 

“I got plenty downstairs,” he says with a tilt of his head. “Come on, let’s go.”

---

You’re sitting in a booth, munching on your burger, intermittently sipping your soda. You don’t even realize you haven’t answered Joel for the third time. 

“Are you sure everything’s okay, sweetheart?” Joel touches your arm, his brow furrowed. You look at his concerned face, his cute little frown, before putting down your burger with a sigh. 

“I, uh,” you start but can’t think of the right words. “I’m just feeling a little off these days, I guess. Work’s been stressful and, um, you–you’re gonna think I’m weird,” you murmur while picking at the fries on your plate. 

“Darlin’,” Joel sighs, taking your hand into his, “you’re the weirdest person I’ve ever met.” He chuckles when he sees your offended face. “And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

He rubs the back of your hand softly and searches your eyes. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

“It’s, um,” you clear your throat. “Do you ever get this feeling that there’s something looming?”

He tilts his head and looks at you curiously. “I’m not sure I follow, darlin’?”

“Like if you’re happy, do you ever feel like it’s not real, it can’t be real, and there’s something looming? Like there’s something just waiting to fuck everything up?” 

When he doesn’t answer, you avert your gaze and try to withdraw your hand. “I’m sorry, I’m killing the vi–”

“No, sweetheart. Hey, c’mere.” He extends both of his hands to you on the table and you give him yours to hold. “I’m sorry, darlin’,” he murmurs, “your question just caught me off guard a little.”

You softly rub his hand with your right thumb and study his features. He looks gorgeous with his tousled hair and his big cow eyes.

“Look, I know that happiness is hard to accept sometimes because we’re afraid of it not lasting. It may even seem easier to sabotage it preemptively, so we’re not disappointed or don’t get hurt when something bad does happen. And I also know that we sometimes don’t think we even deserve to be happy.”

Bingo. 

“But sweetheart, I need you to understand something,” he squeezes your hands gently, his sincere eyes boring into you.

“If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you.” 

You try your best to blink away the tears that are forming in your eyes.

---

Thank you for reading! 🤍 part 4 || part 6 || series masterlist

[charlidos]

Common Ground

If you look at Viggo and Orlando today, they seem to have so little in common, with very different lifestyles. Viggo far away from Hollywood (geographically and mentally), Orlando still in the middle of it (geographically, at least). And since always, the big age gap.

But I've realised they have and have had more in common than you might think! So I've compiled a rather long list of some interests they share, some traits they have in common. Some of them are obvious, some are, well... not. And some seem to be a result of Orlando's hero worship of Viggo, and thus doing all things the Viggo-way.

It's a quite unserious and unscientific list.

Holding on to a character

Orlando:

I will take Legolas, and this experience in New Zealand, wherever I go. The beautiful thing about being an actor is every character you embrace, when you move on, you take part of the character with you. He's a special, special character and, or course, my first. I'm never going to let go of him.

Viggo:

You hear a lot of people saying, 'I want to get rid of that character' or 'It took me days, weeks, months, years to shed the skin of that character,' but I don't," he says. "We're all going to get old and die, and if we live long enough, we're going to forget things or lose our memories. That's just what happens in life. So why be in a hurry to forget something or undo something? Any movie or experience, I want it to be a part of me.

2. Choosing work

Orlando:

I'm always only interested in the script. But of course, I'm happy to support smaller films if I'm convinced by the script.

Viggo:

I never decide to do a project based on who is directing it, it's always the script which is important.

3. Technophobia

Obviously, this was a passing phase, until everyone had a mobile phone and a computer... Apparently, Orlando broke down his resistance at one time and got a ... Blackberry.

Orlando:

You could say I'm a technophobe. I don't have a TV, I don't read magazines, I don't have a computer and I don't have a cell phone. I am a nature-loving human being and I want to remain independent from the tools of technology, or be only minimally influenced by them. If I want to write a letter to someone, I pick up a pen and paper. I try to focus on the important things in life, on myself and my fellow human beings, my work, my friends, etc.

Viggo:

I’m sitting in a car talking on a cell. I rarely use them. In this case, I wanted to be alone and in a quiet place. The phone was dead and I’m charging it as we talk, which is why I was late. I still can’t figure out how to retrieve my messages. I didn’t have one for several years, and would call in my messages from a pay phone on the corner near my apartment. I might not check my messages for days, and I probably lost some jobs because of that. When I finally got one, I threw it out the window when it rang because the sound was so annoying. A neighbour rang my bell, asked me if it was mine, and handed it back to me. I put it in the closet under a pile of laundry, and a few days later it rang again. I didn’t like the intrusion and tossed it out the back alley.

4. Wearing necklaces

They both used to wear a whole slew of trinkets around their necks, both looking all hippie-ish and stuff.

Orlando:

I have a lot of these things with me all the time. I get given some and find others. One was a key ring that Johnny [Depp] gave me as a wrap gift for Pirates. Here's a piece of greenstone Billy Boyd gave me. I found this shell on the beach in Thailand. This is a prayer baton I got in India. I picked up this tiny silver ball in Tokyo. This is a New York City handcuff key, so if I get into any strife, I can get myself out. I think I'll hold onto that. I've always kept all these funny little things, even as a kid. But I'm trying to cut it out, become more streamlined. Otherwise it starts to feel like the things own you. These things fill up my heart. If I were ever to lose them, I'd be really devastated. Isn't that pathetic?

5. Loving nature and being alone

Orlando:

New Zealand is so green and healthy and outdoorsy and stuff so I started putting little tests on myself, like in terms of getting fit and using the environment around me. I often sit and daydream, and lose myself in that world. People around me think I'm rude, but I'm not ignoring them or anything.

Viggo:

I like to spend time alone and outdoors. I enjoy being able to just sit and observe life in the forest or by the water. I like observing and not thinking about anything. If I can't get in to the wild, I observe people in the city. I value being alone in nature even more now that my life has become so hectic.

6. Environmental friendliness

Viggo:

I have a hybrid car, the first Prius that came out on the market; it still works great. My son shares it with me. I recycle everything I can. I try not to waste natural resources or to pollute. Small things that if done every day, serve to make a better world. I’ve always liked being around plants and trees, I’ve always planted them, anywhere that I spend a little time in. The trees we plant, and the landscapes we nurture and protect for wildlife to enjoy and feel safe in, and to prevent soil erosion, is our gift to future generations. Even in cities we can take part in creating a greener, healthier environment – either by growing plants and trees or contributing financially to those that do. But there is nothing like getting your hands dirty and being physically part of the process of preparing the soil, planting, and nurturing new plant life.

Orlando:

I am going to the Oscars this year in a [Toyota] Prius. Anything I can do to bring awareness to the environment and to the fact that we need to decrease the greenhouse-gas emissions, I will do. I love the environment. I grew up in the countryside. I want my kids one day to enjoy the same environment and their kids to enjoy the same environment.

7. Commitment to politics and human rights issues

Orlando has done work for Unicef since 2007 and Viggo has always been very outspoken in issues concerning politics.

Orlando:

When I first came to Ukraine in 2016, I saw the catastrophic consequences that war has on children and families, and how basic needs such as being at school and psychosocial support are critical for children’s wellbeing. Now, with children across the entire country affected, that support is more vital than ever. Amid the chaos and uncertainty of war, supporting children’s education is an essential tool in protecting their long-term mental health and wellbeing. This is especially important during their early years, when children develop the learning and emotional skills they need to reach their full potential. Above all, children need an end to this war and sustained peace to regain their childhoods, return to normalcy and begin to heal and recover.

Viggo:

It’s not just the suffering in Ukraine. It's families in Russia; mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, who have lost loved ones just because of one man’s brutal ambition; a murderous, grotesquely corrupt person. And [Putin] will keep going. It’s like Trump. If you don’t stop them legally or otherwise why would they stop? And if they see weakness they’ll just exploit it.

8. Riding horses

Viggo famously loves horses, but Orlando has a certain love for them as well.

Orlando:

I've always loved riding and I used to hack around Canterbury as a kid. It wasn't really a pony club -- we'd just go out on horses. So I picked it up again in New Zealand and added a bit more of the style and the posture and the correct riding position. I learned to ride on around 30 different horses, and what you get from that is an understanding that each individual animal has to be treated with sensitivity so you have a mutual respect thing going.

9. Smoking

They both smoke/used to smoke cigarettes or cigars.

An unfortunate thing to have in common. I hope they have stopped.

10. Photography and art

Viggo is obviously a skilled photographer and painter and more. Orlando is also a keen photographer with an interest in art and sculpture.

Orlando:

Sculpture was my thing. I was very passionate about documentary photography too. I still like to walk around and take photographs, but it’s hard to do that if a lot of people are looking at you.

Viggo:

Photography, painting or poetry – those are just extensions of me, how I perceive things, they are my way of communicating.

11. Tattoos

The serendipity of these two tattoos, Orlando's sun and Viggo's moon, is amazing. Put there before meeting each other, in the same place on the body, only mirrored.

12. Fishing

Viggo went fishing a lot in NZ. Orlando sometimes tagged along. And then máybe goes fishing sometimes? Perhaps? Who knows?

13. Uncleanliness

Gotta love completely unfounded gossip. I'm sure they smell heavenly, at all times, shower or no shower. Just natural muskiness pouring out of their... pores.

Orlando:

"Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly. Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often." The insider claimed that Bloom "goes days without washing his clothes" when not working on a movie, adding: "He'll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks." The Pirates of the Caribbean actor also allows his dog Sidi to share a bed with him.

Viggo:

Viggo Mortensen, who plays Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings movies, may seem fair, but according to The Sun he smells foul. The tabloid today alleges the American actor has been dumped by his girlfriend Lola Schnabel for worryingly Strider-like behaviour. Apparently he rarely washes and mysteriously disappears for long periods at a time.

14. Drinking mate

Viggo famously drinks yerba mate at all times. Orlando also drinks this. At least at one point, when this photo was taken, that's all I'm sure of.

15. Back pain

Orlando broke his back when he was 20 years old - with chronic back pain as a result. Viggo gets backaches sometimes.

Viggo:

If I wear footwear for too long I get backache. I need to be barefoot, otherwise it's agony.

Bonus: Gorgeous in make up

Also, they are both kind of gorgeous. And like make up. Sometimes. At this one particular time?

And, uhm, that's it.

Don't look so sceptical, boys! Just realise you are perfect for each other and get on with it.

[dnpg-hiatus-survivor]

my last reblog had me reminiscing on my early days in the phandom so i decided to compile a list of embarrassing dnp related things i did aged 11-15!

should i keep these to myself? probably. am i going to? absolutely not. here we go :)

1) i ran a dan and phil instagram fanpage and let all my irls follow it. when my friends would tag me on insta posts they would tag my phannie account

2) that account was called phans_special_snowflake

3) exclusively had dnp merch for school supplies. backpack. phone case. pencil case. everything.

4) when my english teacher asked what the d&p on my phonecase stood for, i confidently replied “dick and penis!”

5) i would watch dan and phil IN CLASS with no headphones

6) my spanish teacher asked me to send him a video so he could “see what dan and phil were all about”. i sent him I Nearly Blinded Myself as it was the most recent video at the time. he said it was “slightly inappropriate” and i had no idea what he meant

7) i wrote a persuasive essay on how dan and phil were secretly in love and in a gay relationship. i then read that essay in front of my entire class for a presentation grade. i got an A+ for both assignments.

8) i would tag dan and phil in EVERYTHING i posted

9) when i met dan and phil, i cried so hard that i walked away from them while dan was MID sentence trying to talk to me (phil said absolutely nothing to me. what a king)

i’m sure there are many many more things that i am missing but these are the ones that i remember most. honestly if i were to have a takeaway from all this, its that i LOVE my past self. i don’t actually believe in embarrassment or cringe. i was young and passionate and everyone knew it. are there things here that should make me cringe. yeah. definitely. but honestly, whats the point? i’ve grown up since then. why hate myself for what i didnt know? all i can do is laugh. and i mean come on… it’s so funny. 12 year old lydia the icon that you are. i was NOT afraid to be myself, and i feel like that has served me well. i’m really glad i grew up watching dan and phil. they’ve been great role models. especially as a young queer girl who was scared that she would never be able to find true love or happiness. so thank you to dan and phil for growing up with me! i’ve definitely come a long way :,)

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Loser Round 4: Damian Wayne (DC) vs. Jason Todd (DC)

A rematch? It's so funny how the bracket turned out this way.

Propaganda under the cut.

Damian Wayne (9-14):

Damian is a kid who was raised as an assassin and because of that when he first appears he has some really messed up ideas of how to prove himself to his father by being aggressive with the criminals they capture and attacking his brother. Because of this people act like he is the most evil character ever and refuse to give him any grace. They make him out to be this awful irredeemable monster who just wants to kill his brother and hurt people. If the fandom isn’t making his out to be The Worst(tm) then they are ignoring his existence all-together. He is a really interesting character who has done some not so great things but he’s grown and learned a lot through various character arcs (as much of an arc as a comic book character can have) and he deserves to be acknowledged for himself and not just as a villain so that people can woobify his brother.

——

HES JUST A LITTLE BABY GUY!!!!! Little baby man raised as an assassin and learning how to be a real person <3. But because he was kind of a dick and also a little stabby early-on, especially to the fandom's main "so sad uwu depressed baby" blorbo (and also he's not white), people treat him like he's satan incarnate

Jason Todd (~12):

Most of the Tumblr fandom likes this guy but if you step outside this website then wham so many people say he got what he deserved as a kid and Batman can't be cool if he's a dad so it's important for Batman to trash-talk his dead child constantly so we can all agree what a bad idea it was. Also wanna highlight that a lot of the records we have from fans at the time were clear they disliked Robin for BEING a child. Like a lot of the little dude characters in this tournament are treated too harshly for making an ugly choice and the fans aren't being understanding or sympathetic that the choice is made by a child character who is immature and not developed and strong enough to make a good choice and stuff. But THIS little dude was specifically hated FOR being a child. People wanted tough loner guy Batman not Batdad and his little buddy. The first Robin would drive back from college and guest star sometimes and be advertised as the Teen Wonder and people were like yeah okay but then Batman actually starts being a single parent for a child with needs and people were like UGH not the BOY Wonder. Today pretty much everywhere you see Batman fans saying Batman is better solo, no kid, it's not realistic to have a kid, a kid shouldn't be in the movies blah. Even if the comics they always find a way to send away the new kid so that Batman never has to parent. So all the Robins are being excluded from the narrative but I think this one is THE symbol of Batman fans hating a child character just for being a child.

-

Robin, Jason Todd, THE hated child character. In the 1980s, Batman comics had become increasingly dark and gritty. According to editor O'Neil himself, the courted audience wasn't kids but 19-40 year old men with disposable income. Batman's child sidekick, Robin, was offensively campy and childish. Fans called him wimpy, annoying, dumb, bratty, etc. Also people complained that Batman acting like an affectionate dad was unmanly and gay. Robin acts violent and emotional and people are like "ew he's so childish and emotional"—and then Batman literally acts just as murderously and emotionally within literally the same exact story and people are like "wow he's so dark and tortured". So in 1988 (after brutalizing Batgirl to get rid of her for being too bright and nice and kid-friendly), DC held a paid poll for fans to vote for Robin to live or die. O'Neil claims he heard a fan (a grown man with a dayjob as a lawyer) programmed a phone to spam kill votes. One fanguy claimed that he sold his Mercedes to buy kill votes (probably an exaggeration but still). By less than 1% margin, the vote decided to kill Robin in a spectacularly violent way. Anyway the 1989 Batman movie brought in a huge wave of new child comicbook fans who liked the new Robin (a very cool teenage high school Robin with a driver's license and a girlfriend), and DC started a separate Robin-less Batman series called Legends of the Dark Knight to make the anti-Robin writers and fans happy. But to this day, many fans agree it was a good idea to kill off the other Robin so that his foolish death reminds other characters to never be childish and stupid again. Bonus: the current Robin (usually a traumatized 10-year-old) has also been facing some pretty loud hatred for over 15 years.

[huenistar]

Hi! I'm the anon with Yoongi as my older brother in my txt dr. And since you asked for more, I MUST DELIVER!

Yoongi is like a sugar daddy but in a brotherly manner? I don't know how to explain it, but like he buys me stuff and spoils me just for existing. I hit my ankle while practising this once for txt's upcoming album, Yoongi was there with us since he had a day off. And because I hit my ankle, he bought me $10 thousand dollar purge to make me feel better. Like bro?😭🤡 thank you but wtf? He just needs random reasons to spoil me. He is like "Oh you just yawned? Let me buy you Tiffany & Co. jewellery to make you feel better" like bro no! Thank you but it's too much? I am just tired? Tf? But I love every second of it. Public doesn't know that he is my older brother because he suggested not revealing due to people screaming nepotism even though there is none. I become a trainee along side him, I was supposed to debut with bts but that didn't happen due to my age. (the funny thing is, I didn't script anything in this paragraph, it happened on it's own)

And since public doesn't know that my older brother is Yoongi who spoils me so much, they think that I'm either dating a foreigner billionaire or that Yeonjun is dating me and spoiling me because him and I are best friends and we have very good chemistry. Also, all the members of txt flirt with me and take so much care of me 24/7. They just can't stop fliritng?! Like chill! I don’t know what's that show or whatever called, but it has one member asking questions while others are in these boxes. So the same thing happened in my dr right, and I as a joke asked "step out if you would have approached me and asked for my number if we were not idols or trainees and had met outside in a normal way" all of the mf's came out. Followed by which PD nim asked the question "If given the chance, would you date {my name} right now?" and they all stepped out once again!!!!!!!! But they said that they're scared of my brothers reaction (they didn't take his name obv, since that is a secret to the public and only the staff, bts, my ex IM and my group members know of it) (They were scared cuz Yoongi is very very very protective of me, and he is very very very very scary when he gets angry. The good thing is that he doesn't get angry that fast or often. He is hard to make angry) Anyways, the questions were not edited out and when people saw it they went crazy! They started shipping me with all of the them and it was such a scandal in a way, but not a negative one. (I didn't script the questions part, and neither about their feelings for me) Chris Evans and Tom Hiddleston have my face cards as in their transparent phone covers that they used publicly, and they are huge fans of me (I didn't script this either)

Leonardo DiCaprio asked me out on a date PUBLICLY on twitter when I was 19, it caused a massive scandal. (I am the same age as Soobin, we are born on the same day so we joke about being twins, which in hindsight is lowkey weird since he has a feelings for me? but not like romantic feelings? it's confusing?) (I didn't script thie Leonardo part either, I don't even know why that happened and why so publicly? Like? Have common sense?)

Okay, that was a lot. I hope it's entertaining for you 😘

Also, can I be your 👻 anon? I can share my stories that way with you and everyone.

WOAHHH YOONGI SEEMS LIKE SUCH A GOOD BROTHER😞😞 ITS FUNNY HOW HE BUYS U STUFF AND WOAH WOAH WOAH??? THEY ALL JUST FLIRT WITH U??? lowkey sounds fun…. BUT THEY ALL CAME OUT??

omg….ur rich and famous how u got all types of celebrities falling for you!!!

LEONARDO DICAPRIO ASKED U OUT PUBLICLY??

AT NINETEEN??? AS IN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19???

how dumb is he to ask a nineteen year old out on an date PUBLICLY and yes this was VERY entertaining i was gasping every 5 seconds and YESSS U CAN BE 👻 ANON!! :33

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

4 + boyfs :)

Boyf Riends + 4. things you said over the phone

September 1, 2015, 7:12pm

"Hey, I got my stuff from my hookup. Where are you right now? I've been looking around the food court for like ten minutes and you're just, gone. Uh, I guess I'll check Hot Topic until you get back to me. See ya."

September 1, 2015, 7:47pm

"Jeremy, why did I have to learn from the cashier at Forever 21 that Brooke and Chloe offered you a ride home?? And that you ended up just walking out instead?? I can't find you in the parking lot, man, like... Did you just-... walk home? Some warning would've been nice, ya know? Anyway. Text me so that I know you didn't die or whatever. Later."

September 2, 2015, 12:25pm

"Oh fuck off, don't pretend you don't know I'm calling you. I can see you sitting next to Rich! Your phone is right there next to your lunch tray! Good job taming him I guess, but can you stop ignoring me? For like, a minute?? Ditching me at the mall was one thing, but this is just... weird. You're being weird. And not the good kind. The like, got-replaced-by-a-changeling kind. Look- can you just look at me, Jeremy?!"

September 2, 2015, 3:43pm

"'Optic Nerve Block-' dude, what are you doing?? Is this a bit?? Haha, very funny. Jeremy's hot shit now and is too good for Michael. Great. Cool. Just-... actually ya know what, it's not cool. I'm not laughing. I mean, congrats on snatching Brooke up. That's... I mean I thought Christine was... you've just been gushing about her since... I- something about this is... *sigh* Never mind. Let me know when you decide to stop doing... this, whatever it is you're doing."

September 6, 2015, 12:56pm

"I hope you know I'm just gonna keep blowing up your phone with texts until you acknowledge me. I'm not asking for much, man! Just... an explanation? Maybe? Just something so that I know we're still cool or whatever. I know you're probably busy with rehearsal and all, but it's... weird that we haven't had a sleepover this weekend. I... can't really remember the last weekend where... *huff* Ok, so your SQUIP clearly doesn't like me. Fine. It can join the club. But... you still like me, right? Can I... can I get that much?"

September 12, 2015, 2:36pm

"Hey, since you and Rich are like, buddies now or whatever, you think you could call him off? He's still pulling his bullshit on me. And normally I wouldn't care that much, but... I dunno, it was different when it was both of us. And now you're just letting him go off on me?? Where's the Jeremy that broke his finger on a homophobic dickhead's nose two years ago? Where's the kid that became a little ball of rage that I had to restrain when guys gave me shit? I know freshman year was like, a really angsty spell for you, but... fucker- what do you want from me?! Can we just talk? Please??"

September 28, 2015, 2:03am

"Look, if you never wanna see me again, can you at least just say that?! Just tell me so that I don't have to question if you've actually decided to look in my direction or not? You haven't blocked my number, so you obviously... You're just-! Ugh! This isn't like you! Even if you do give me the silent treatment, it's never for this fucking long! If I fucked up somewhere just-! Tell me!! As much as we joke about it, I can't read your fucking mind! Fucking- text me! Pass a note! Flip me off! Something! This is fucking stupid!"

October 14, 2015, 4:47pm

"Have I mentioned how weird it is to hear other people actually name-drop you in the hall? Like, I'm still Antisocial Headphones Kid and probably will be until graduation. It's not like I care. Shit's not gonna matter in college. And even if it does, it's not gonna matter in the real world. In jobs or whatever. ...I don't... *sigh* I can't just keep calling you to yell about how you left. It just- it's old. And annoying. For me. I don't care if it's annoying for you. You're probably not even listening to these. Just... ugh, whatever. I'll see ya. Gonna go out on a limb and say you won't see me though."

October 27, 2015, 10:56pm

"Look, I- ...something about this whole SQUIP thing is really fucking shady. I just... it-it's creepy, ya know? You had to buy it at the back of a Payless, the dude selling it was sketchy as hell, and there's fuck-all on the internet about it. It's... and this isn't just because I'm salty! I mean fuck you still, but this isn't about that! Like I'm genuinely... this- it just- it's weird. I shoulda- fuck, I shoulda picked up on it sooner. I should've-! Ugh, I wouldn't have to leave you all these stupid voicemails if I'd just used my brain for two seconds! I'll... *sigh* tonight's been exhausting. I'll pick this up later. If you decide ya wanna clue me in after all this time, be my fucking guest."

October 30, 2015, 10:32pm

"Shit- ok, I get you're still doing your dumb little ignoring me thing but- fuck, you gotta get that thing outta your head. It's- I-I have this online friend, his brother had a SQUIP and- I'm looking at the videos and-... Y-you just- it's bad. It's really, really bad. I wanna come to you about this in person, but you're like, never home when I go there. And your dad doesn't know where you are either?? He just assumed you were with me! Which, I don't blame him after all these years, but... Jer, it's so fucking bad. I'm... I'm getting you to listen one way or another, so fucking help me."

October 31, 2015, 11:47pm

(There's no sound for several seconds, besides slight shifts in movement. It's all very muffled. Any words spoken are too quiet to distinguish, if they even are words at all. There might be the slightest inkling of a song in the distant background, though it's anyone's guess which song it is.)

*knock knock knock knock*

"*sniff* Shit-"

(There's some indistinct sound on the other end akin to one clambering about in a confined space. Metal rings clatter on the curtain rod as the plastic sheet is swept back.)

*knock knock knock knock*

"Just a fucking minute, man!"

*ssssshhhhhhhhhh*

(The sink is turned on, water rushing out of the faucet and hissing against the pearly white bowl that it's confined to. Its flow is interrupted by the flesh of cupped hands collecting it every few seconds, followed by the splatter of it falling back down in a scattered arc rather than a focused stream.)

*knock knock knock knock*

(It's not long before the handles squeak and the water is shut off, leaving the indistinct thrumming bass of a song that's been turned up far too loud.)

"...Hello?"

(Besides the underlying hum, silence. A lonely, lonely lack of sound, before a long sigh.)

"Figures..."

(There's nothing more than this quiet, rhythmic thumping for a long time. There's very little to break the monotony of it beyond the occasional sniffle of swallowing of phlegm.)

"Is that really how you see me? Or were you just reaching for the pettiest fucking word you could've used?"

(The scream of glass echos chillingly in the small room. Sparkling crystals twinkle and sing against smooth porcelain, a prickly harmony to go with the melody of ragged sobs.)

"God-! Dammit!"

(There's a soft thud, and then a long dragging sound akin to one sliding down to sit against a wall.)

"Fuck..."

(An eternity of smothered weeping seems to pass, though in reality it's barely more than a full minute, before a blood-curdling scream is heard, disturbingly loud for how distant it sounds.)

"FIRE!"

"Shit- what the hell??"

November 1, 2015, 2:14am

"I'm guessing you don't know this, since you didn't run out of the house screaming or get dragged into an ambulance, but Jake's house burned down. Yeah, that place where that party was happening where you-... I'm fine, by the way, because you obviously cared. Paramedics got all the glass out of my knuckles. I just... wanna confirm you're fine too. Because... still fuckin' care about you and shit. Yeah, thanks for waiting up, by the way. There's no indication you were ever fucking here, so I can only assume you bailed before anyone even smelled smoke. Glad you're safe, dickwad. Hope you can extend the same relief to me."

November 12, 2015, 5:49pm

"Hey. I'm... coming to your performance. Your dad kinda... If he's suddenly wearing pants the next time you see him, you're welcome. Guess you can thank him for me coming to see your show too... I won't have any flowers for you, but... hopefully I'll have something just as good."

November 12, 2015, 6:52pm

"--- entire stu--nt bod- -- do it!"

"Wh- Jeremy?"

"Mich- GAH!"

"Shit! Where are you?"

"-- ---- ---- ---- -- ---! -- --- -- ------ --- ---!"

November 16, 2015, 11:47am

"Hey, um... it'll probably take you a while to listen to this, if you... choose to listen to it at all. Um... it was nice seeing you at The Play, all things considered. It... it was almost like things were normal again. I... I missed it. A lot. Maybe uh... maybe once you wake up, once things settle down, we could... talk? Just... at all? Doesn't have to be a call back. Could be a text, in person, note passed in class-"

"Carrier pigeon."

"Rich says carrier pigeon. He's your roommate. You'll see that soon enough if- ...when you wake up. You've been pretty determined to stay asleep though. Four days... heh, you tryna make us jealous? I just... hope you wake up soon. Before New Year's would be nice. No pressure, obviously, just... I... *sigh* 'I miss you' would be an understatement."

November 23, 2015, 4:13am

"Hey, Michael, um... I... listened to your voicemails a couple... couple hours ago. I was going to call back when I finished them, but it was late and I figured you were asleep. Um... I guess it's even weirder that I'm calling at 4am than it would've been if I called at 1:30, but... *sigh* I'm sorry. For everything. I know I said it at The Play, but I didn't... I couldn't really... I-I'm sorry. For bailing on you at the mall. For the optic nerve blocking. For the... the shit I said on Halloween- just- refusing to believe that you were trying to help, and- Fuck- the fire. I know I didn't have anything to do with it but... I'm sorry... for making you think I didn't care about your safety. I'm so glad you got out ok, really, and... I'm... sorry for making you punch a mirror. I don't... think you meant to call me in the bathroom, but... I heard... some stuff. I don't know if it was everything."

(There's an audible swallow.)

"I just... I don't... understand, why you still helped me in the end. After... after everything. I'm grateful, and thank you, but... I was so afraid I'd burned that bridge on Halloween. No- no pun intended. I thought you wouldn't-... I-I was so sure- the SQUIP was so-"

(There's a long pause. One would think that the message had abruptly cut off if not for the shaky breathing on the other end. There's a tightness in his voice when it eventually comes back.)

"'He won't come back to you. No one is coming for you.' That's what it said. And I was convinced that I'd fucked everything up and you'd never-... but you did. And-and I'm sorry we haven't done anything together since the hospital. I've just been really... it-it's an adjustment, not having a computer telling me what to do, and balancing hormones and chemicals and- fuck, I've gotten like, no sleep this weekend. I toss and turn all night and if I don't toss and turn, it's... it's nightmares, about... *sigh* Sorry, I shouldn't dump my shit on you. Not-not like this, not after..."

(His voice crumbles, like it's taking every ounce of strength he has to keep it audible without devolvng into indecipherable cry-speak. It's all but a raspy whisper.)

"I... I do wanna see you again. I do... still care about you. A lot. So much. Not seeing you for so long, it... it's caught up to me, and... I just wanna fall asleep next to you again. Which sounds clingy as fuck, and maybe it is, but I... You're the only one that..."

(He can't hold the sobs back anymore, but he does his best to muffle them. Keep them quiet. Avoid waking his dad. Hide the pain because he doesn't want this to be about him. It shouldn't be about him. Why is he making it about him?)

"*sniff* Fuck, how long've I been talking? Sorry, I'll- just- cut this off now. Ok, um... night. I... I love you. I just... wanna make sure you know that."

November 28, 2015, 1:12pm

Send you my love on a wire~

Lift you up every time

Jeremy startles awake at the sound of Michael’s ringtone, something he hasn't heard since before the start of the school year when Michael absolutely had to tell him about the dream he'd just woken up from. He tries to shake the remnants of sleep fog from his head as he pats around for his vibrating phone, thankfully finding it before the chorus ends.

"Mmg, h-" Jeremy's voice is scratchy from being woken up, so he clears his throat and tries again. "Hello?"

"Hey, bud." Michael's voice is quiet and soft through the receiver. He sounds tired as well, but in a constant, passive way instead of a groggy way. Jeremy wonders how long he's been awake.

"Hey, um..." Jeremy sits up and loosely hugs his knees, unsure of what to say next. Not wanting to leave Michael with nothing, he circles back to, "hey."

A weak chuckle flows through the speaker, colored with a fondness Jeremy's not sure he's heard since the last time they got high together. "Are you always this articulate?"

It's sweet, knowing that Michael's first reaction is banter instead of what Jeremy would consider much-deserved exasperation. He doesn't understand it, but it tugs his mouth into a small smile. "I uh... didn't fall asleep until like 6am, so..."

"Right, yeah. You did mention trouble sleeping, didn't you."

That smile crumbles as dread pools into his chest. He can't help but hide his face despite Michael not being able to see it in the first place. "Oh gods, you listened to that voicemail?"

"Couple times, yeah," Michael confesses, and it makes Jeremy cringe in embarrassment."I wanted to come see you earlier this week, but there was school stuff, and then Thanksgiving happened and..." he trails off a bit."Yeah, um... sorry."

Jeremy shakes his head fantically. "Nono, you're fine!" he insists. He doesn't want to lose this chance, but in the moment, his scrambled brain doesn't quite know what to do with it. "It's... I- do we wanna, I dunno, um..."

"Yes," Michael says immediately. "We- I do, yeah. Totally unrelated, but you should look out your window."

Jeremy blinks as he crawls off the bed toward the window. "Is it all snowy or are you waiting out there like you're in some kind of movie?"

He pulls the curtain back to see Michael standing on the sidewalk, a bright red swatch on a brilliantly white canvas, his hoodie lightly dusted with snow. It reminds Jeremy of powdered sugar on a lemon square. Michael waves his free hand, the other one still holding his phone to his ear.

"Yes."

Jeremy tentatively waves back, though it feels more like his hand trembles against the cool glass than it feels like a proper greeting. He feels his body shaking not from the winter weather creeping its way in, but from the nerves that come from seeing his best friend again after... well, admittedly not very long, but it's different this time. "Hi. I'll uh, I'll meet you downstairs, yeah?"

"Cool, see you in a second."

"See ya." Jeremy hangs up and pulls on some soft pajama pants before hurrying down the steps. He doesn't even check the downstairs window to confirm Michael's location before opening the front door.

Sure enough, there he is, a vibrant red light in the dull white fog behind him. Jeremy holds back on his urges just long enough to let Michael inside and shut the door before throwing his arms around him. Michael catches him easily, the cold from white flakes melting into red fabric doing little to negate the warmth of his embrace.

He remains sturdy as Jeremy quivers against him, silently refusing to let go of him any time soon. Jeremy attempts to blink back the tears threatening to spill out, but only really succeeds in disguising his sob a shaky sigh. As long as he can release the tension in his throat without being too loud about it, he'll take the win.

"I love you too," Michael whispers into Jeremy's hair, squeezing him snugly. "I hope you know that."

[ghostedeabha]

hello :3

i saw that you really loved fluff fics AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH ASWELL! so i was wondering if you could write something for dad!simon riley x mom!reader and they have somewhat of a big family like two teen kids and two younger kids and all of them go on a much needed vacation together🥹 like it could be anywhere you want it to be maybe a road trip to the mountains, beach, or just going out of state!

i would love to see what you do with this :3 im a sucker for fluff

have an amazing day/night :DD

gods absolutely yes, dad!simon 💳💥💳💥💥💳🥺 

i'm the biggest sucker for  family fics y’all you don't understand!!

i apologize if this is a lil shitty, i'm stoned writing this lmao

simon "ghost" riley x reader

warnings: none, lots and lots of tooth rotting fluff. reader is afab and referred to as mrs. riley once mom, mother, and with other fem terms but no specific pronouns are used and identifying gender isn't specified :)

word count: 655

a/n: simon and reader have 4 kids, twin son and daughter (4), a nonbinary teen (15) and a son (17), none of them are referred to with actual names except for the nonbinary child whose name is 'bug' (there is lore behind this i came up with while writing this if anyone wants a little fic extending on how bug chose their name), simon and the reader have been together for 18 years. i actually have no idea how old ghost is even supposed to be, i just headcanon him in his mid 30's but for this specific au he'll be 40 on the dot, reader is meant to be 38-40.

--------

"are we there yet?" you hear the whine of your four year old son come from his car seat behind you. it wasn't hard to tell the poor guy was getting restless and impatient,

"just 20 more minutes bud, keep watching bluey with your sister." your husband, simon responds to the squirrely child before you can speak up. you flash him a sweet smile and look over your shoulder to glimpse back at your children.

you were currently on a roadtrip up to scotland to visit one of simon's military friends and vacation at the beach with your family. you found it a little funny that on his break from work simon was so happy and eager about going to see one of his coworkers, but it warmed your heart to know he had such close friends especially in people he had to work with, people who he literally trusted with his life.

"how're you all holding up?" you ask the four with a sweet smile.

"good." your eldest son mumbles, not moving his attention from his phone, texting his friends.

"how about you my little bug?" you turn your attention to your 15 year old.

"i'm good mama, just playing a word search game." they replied, turning their phone to show you the progress of their game.

"nice, you're doing great. i didn't even realize that fritz was a real word."

it was just under another 20 minutes when you pulled into the driveway of simon's friend's, johnny, house. it was s beautiful, quaint thing, the ocean a few hundred feet away behind the home. as you unbuckled your seatbelt you saw the man appear from his home, holding his arms out with a loud chuckle for simon as your husband stepped out of the vehicle.

you smiled to yourself as you got out of the car, watching your husband embrace his friend gruffly as you removed your four year old daughter from her car seat. "hello darling, we're here now." you say gently to the child, who is just awakening from the nap she decided to take in the car.

bug removed your four your old son from his seat for you, holding the boy in their arms as you thank them and give their head a pat with your free hand.

you and the four children approach your husband and his friend, offering the scott a sweet smile. "it's good to see you again johnny."

"you to mrs. riley, kiddos."

"hi uncle johnny." the kids replied.

"why don't the four of you go and play on the beach? it's a private beach and there's not too many others out on it today." soap suggests to the kids with a smile, thumbing over his shoulder to point towards the beach.

it was a couple hours later, you were sat on a beach chair under an umbrella watching simon in the water with your daughter, hearing the four year old's loud and excited giggling made your heart swell. your eldest son and 15 year old playing water volleyball against johnny as your youngest son rested in your arms, tired of playing in the water and just wanting to be cuddled by his mother.

your heart felt full as you watched the scene in front of you, this vacation was well needed for everyone, your two older kids having worked incredibly hard on their schooling and grades, simon having worked hard at work as he always does. and being four is harder than it may seem, the twins needed this break just as much as everyone else.

and of course yourself, you had worked hard at home, taking care of the kids, the housework, and so much more. with and without simon, you worked hard and deserved the break too. it was nice to finally get the time to do something fun like this together as a family. you wouldn't trade it for the world.

[timetravell]

Twas the first day of school, here is a little recap:

We mainly went over all the new procedures. Theres one about phones and if they have to take it up 4 times in a row you have to pay a fine of 15 dollars. And the dress code regressed?? No teacher is enforcing it though. We still have the same tardy policy (10 tardies = ISS).

If this phone policy doesn't 'work' then we just- wont be allowed to bring our phones at all Which is a HUGE safety concern.

below is a recap of all my class periods <3

1st period: Colorguard

Nothing much happened here, again a lot of today was just a repeat of all procedures. There were a few band specific things, such as attendance, rehearsals, UDB, and stuff pertaining to the band hall itself. There is now a form so if need be, your istrument can be turned into the shop to get fixed!

We also cleaned out the guard locker room/area. All of the costumes from last year got put in one of the lower lockers. We somehow found stuff from seniors who left YEARS ago. And 3 year old water....in a jug still.. yikes.

2nd: Forensics!!!

Im actually so happy I got to be in this class. Im looking forward to a lot of things in it. Especially the labs and that one lecture about blood splatters. Our teacher is actually absent this first week, but thats because he's also the volleyball coach. (Our volleyball team is in Hawaii for nationals I believe)

We had three assignments. One of them was designing a locker (mine is super cute, it has a Marina poster), the second was a Syllabus scavenger hunt which isn't due until tomorrow but I wanted to get a jump on it so I finished it at home. The third was homework, which was just a student survey.

3rd: ELA

It was just, again, more policy updates and a little get to know you card. This class, thank god, wont be all on computer. We'll have some paper assignments. We haven't gotten our reading yet (which upsets me a teeny bit, but I'm sure we'll learn about it later in the week)

4th: AP World History

I'm actually so exited for this class its not even funny. I was genuinley upset when we didnt get our unit 0 packets and when I found out we werent getting our textbooks until Friday.

We did learn that the AP teachers are no longer allowed to split that 70% weighted major assignments to 40/30. Which absolutely sucks, and on top of that our first unit is stuff our state says we NEED to know to get said World History credit. Which means we wont even be tested on it come spring. Our district hates us.

I actually have a good teacher for this AP class, last year I had a very (idk how else to put it) 'White privlidged' teacher. AND AND I narrowly missed being stuck in a class with someone I despise. Made me so happy!

I also learned that 'The History of the Entire World I guess' is pretty accurate! So I can use that as a study resource for like- a short summary.

5th: Astronomy

SO SO SO excited for this class. And there is no math! None! (If they added math it would have to become an AP class). My teacher is so funny unironicly. He's very monotone and you would think he'd be a bore, but he's actually really funny in my opinion.

We actually will talk about why Astrology isnt real which I think will be really fun. I dont nessicarily believe astrology is real, I like the idea of it. But going indepts on why it isnt is going to be really interesting!

We also will get to learn how galaxies and solar systems form, which will be really helpfull for making my story, Abyss. Theres also gonna be night labs!! (if we go we get a free 100 on a test grade) And maybe some Day Labs if the school can get their hands on a solar telescope.

6th: Geometry

It's geometry. There wasnt really anything of note here. Just the fact that i somehow have a class full of kids who dont care abt the Highschool grades. (I have confirmed this, it isnt speculation) It's gonna be a loud period..

7th: Band (they split it up weird)

Again nothing of note. EXCEPT NOW I HAVE TO LEARN THE SHOW?? ON MY FLUTE?? WHAT??

Im in guard, i dont do 'band' until concert season. I cant work on my solo during this period OR my homework. Pissed me of factually because the original plan was as followed:

Used as a study hall

Practice choreography

Practice flute

But nope! They hate me! /j

8th: Musical Theatre!

So many new people! Its gonna be so much fun! I have a lot of friends in that class so im really excited!

I already know the song im gonna do for our first solo, just gotta get permission cuz its technicly not from a musical (Wont say im in love from hercules)

Anyways thats it!! Tmmr will most likely have some more stuff so follow if you want to see!

[queen0fm0nsterz]

Do you have more Pretender headcanons you could share with us? :3

OH BOY DO I... SIT DOWN THIS MIGHT BE LONG

1) Her wardrobe is full of Victorian era clothing ranging from the mid 1800s to the early 1900s.

2) Her powers are not inherited by either of her parents and came as pretty much a surprise.

3) ^ Though her parents already had a strained relationship before she was born, what set them apart for good was her. Not because it's her fault. Neither of them was ready to take care of her and her powers

4) Her mother either abandoned her and fled by hot air balloon, or got accidentally evaporated by the Pretender.

5) Mono would probably not be affected by her powers due to his own. His cancel hers out.

6) Her eyes are mismatched, having one light blue eye and one reddish/brown

7) She is aware of both the Thin Man and the Lady, but doesn't know either personally. However, she does enjoy spending her time watching TV because she thinks "the man in the TV is funny".

8) A mix of an headcanon and a thought: her voice sounds like it's being filtered through a radio or a phone and it usually freaks other children out. It's one of the things that isolate her.

9) ^ She has pretty bad volume control and cannot tell when she's shouting or not in normal conversations

10) Not good at remembering names AT ALL.

11) As of now she cannot control her powers. If she could, she would not be able to "turn them off": however, she would be able to redirection them from her hands to other parts of her body. For example, if she wanted to hold someone's hand, she's redirection her power downwards to the lower section of her body.

12) ^ As a result, the ground under her feet kinda... dies. If there are flowers and grass, they wither away, and if there's sand she leaves black/almost burnt looking tracks behind.

13) Her features are very sharp. She has high cheekbones, piercing eyes, and a hooked nose. Hands with long fingers but short nails because she bites them.

14) During the events of VLN, she's 13 years old. Out of the main five gang, she's the oldest, with RCG coming after her at 12.

15) She's not very well versed in the arts but she THRIVES on modelling. Ask her to pose for a picture or painting and she'll never refuse.

16) She's a pretty sickly child and can get ill easily. However, she is incredibly strong and can pick up very heavy objects. She's also pretty agile.

17) HER BONES ARE STUPIDLY RESISTANT.

18) Would and will bark if it comes to it.

19) Gave up on using nail polish because she always ends up eating it when she bites her nails💔

20) Not an headcanon, I tried to imagine her as a brunette and she's honestly kinda adorable :(

That's about it, I'd say. At least for now👹

[michellethefatpig]

My eating disorder story

Growing up, I was a normal weight child, when I was in first grade (bear in mind that in my country we start school at 7 and have it until we are 15) one classmate told me that I was the second most fat person in the class, then I started to be kinda orthorexic I started to eat cucumbers and healthy in general more, but I was only a small child, so after a while I ate normal again. Everything seemed perfect until I weighted myself at the start of 4th grade, I was 158cm tall and I weighted 40kg, I thought that I was super fat, but I just didn't seem to care about diet, then I started dieteing again when I hit 44kg.I was scared and heartbroken,at summer holidays I restricted and exercised everytime. By that I lost 4kg, I felt perfect. But then we visited my therapist(I hate this bitch, I started going to her when I called my male parent by father and not dad) she said that I got very thin, and told my mother to hide the scale. I started to eat very much, I put on weight again, then I started to starve, I didn't ate breakfast and lunch, and after school I had big binges but I managed to lose 4kg.My binges got bigger and bigger, soon I gained again. My mother discovered about me throwing out the food(I'm sure that my ex bffs told her that) and cutting myself on hipbones. I got in semy recovery I got medicine, then I gained and I was 47kg, but I grew to 162cm.And again everything was good, until I got into a fight with my old bffs year ago. I didn't do nothing at all, I just told that my other friend was right, but they rejected me and my tries to connect. I am autistic, so changes aren't easy for me. I tried to connect again, but they ignored us and my bestfriend who I supported told me that I was stupid and that the other bffs are toxic (we were 4 together) . I started to search, diets and stuff, to lose weight fast. Then I discovered ballerina's diet and by that I discovered also tumblr. As I got deeper into it, I started to count calories and overexercise, But I did it wrong, I thought I ate 500 calories and burnt 1000 but soon I was able to tell that it was kind of opposite. I started to eat 500 calories, then less less and less, I skipped meals whenever I could. I lost a lot of weight, 12kg.I felt very good but still not enough, then I went on camp with my ex bffs, the one got very toxic(even tho she was first blaming and insulting the other ones and I was the one who cheered her up), she was screaming at me, putting my things away to clean, she didn't understood that I needed to chew gum to not bite my lips(this habbit got worse, I can't even notice when I do that). She made fun of it, told me that it smells(it was bubble gum), then she multiple times called me names and I cried to my mother on phone everynight. I reunited with the other bffs but the one decided to bully me with the other one(I helpoed this one with getting a cat, and I spent all summer befor last summer with her). There was the one, she just comforted me 1 time.Once the two even kinda tried to get my phone , yk like they get ur phonr then pull it to their side, it hurt but I tried to be strong and not show my weakness I was very scared of them. And I got kinda sadder and more traumatized. After that, I started tok eat 1500 calories on daily basis, slowly smaller. Then I got to 800 calories. But I didn't knew that I was gaining weight. In winter nurse weighted me, 45 kg, horror, I was scared my binges got worse I was scared. And my friends still made fun of me for everything, my fictional crush(the bff was a kpop stan, had Felix from SKZ EVERYWHERE and I mentioned my 2d crush like 3 times and had a pin with him). She started to draw him in weird way, the others said it was funny, but I td her multiple times to stop insulting me, making fun of me and stuff like that. Then we got in a big fight.1VS3, of course I apologized first, like I always did, even tho it wasn't my fault. I just did. Then I opened my eyes, they were the only friends I had. But they told all of my secrets to my mother. I also won fight with them alone xddddd(but its a diff story)

[lieblingspulli]

Need Something? - SKZ

W.C: 2.3k

Seungmin x Reader

Summary: Two days converge into one as you and Seungmin unwind for the day!

Masterlist!

SKZ Masterlist

Note: Hey! It’s been a while but I got inspired by my extreme procrastination of my schoolwork to make something. I’ve been just itching to write about super mundane things tbh, I’ve been just so busy, I’m appreciating the mundane much more lately. Hope you all like it <3

Seungmin was extremely relaxed after his daily coffee run. If there was anything to start his morning peacefully, it was nicely flavored americano and an empty cafe. Today would be a good day, Seungmin resolved to himself. He would get his choreo memorized, sing some demos for Chan today and maybe even go live for a lunchtime mukbang session. Today would be a great day in fact. He felt so at peace that he felt he could do anything today, even the laundry that had been sitting in the corner of his room for like a week at home. Today would be good. 

You personally felt victimized today. Nothing like sleeping through the most important meeting of the quarter to start your morning. You spent all of last night typing out your important charts and notes, Seungmin couldn’t even lure you into bed with warm cuddles and extra attention.

Despite this, Seungmin had kissed you to sleep endlessly when you did join him at an early 3 in the morning. You felt so bad for keeping him awake, but Seungmin didn’t have an important quarterly report to type, you did. Resigning to a stern lecture from your coworkers, you let the morning do its thing. You used the last of the coffee pods that Seungmin left you and fed your tiny, old dog before hurrying out the door. Let’s get this day over with, you thought. 

-

Right before you left work for the day, you sent Seungmin a text.

Just getting out of work. When do u get home?🥲-Y

Almost immediately Seungmin answered. 

Maybe around 7. :( Srry bby -S

Can you squeeze out an early send off from chris??? Tell him I broke my finger -Y

You’re funny. Let me work my magic ;) -S

Lmk how that goes, if not just tell my chrissy I said hi and he still owes me some nachos from when he ate mine -Y 

Some time went by as you waited for a reply. You watched the fall colors of the trees pass you by as the bus took you to your homestop. Something about fall calmed your nerves. Luckily, the quarterly meeting had been postponed because the division manager had a cold, which totally saved your butt. You sighed and felt a vibration from your phone. 

Chan$$ venmoed you 10 usd 

You grinned and sighed. Opening up your messages with Seungmin, you shook your head and laughed. 

Why did chan send me 10 dollars in usd 🤔 -Y

bro???? -Y

He said because you keep pestering him for an american dish -S

Tell him I’ll enjoy it very much thxxx  -Y

He also said you have to share with him when you get them -S

Why dont you just text him urself omg -S

You just sent him an emoji with your tongue sticking out. 

Oh hey did he let you out tho? -Y

No -S

We have a weird schedule today bc of the morning show tm -S

Srry bb -S

Its OK. have fun xoxo -Y

You pulled the bus signal and gathered your stuff. The time on your phone read 4:26. Technically speaking, you should be at work, but was let out early due to the manager being gone and the meeting had everyone done with work. Maybe you would cook some lasagna according to your mom’s recipe. Or take Luna (your fossilized age dog) out on a walk. You didn’t really seem to know what to do because of this peculiar on-edge feeling. 

It was peaceful around you as you hopped off the bus. An ajumma was reading her book on the bus stop bench. A 16 year old student and his friend were arguing over a bag of chips. A business man was walking presumably home from work. 

You pulled your coat a little tighter around you as you started to walk in the direction of yours and Seungmin’s place. The cold air had picked up in a bit of a breeze as you passed the corner store which was next to the salon that was owned by your neighbor down the hallway. Eventually you made it to your building and walked into the warm main hallway. 

Seungmin’s schedule was unexpectedly busy today. Despite his peaceful start, the choreographer made some changes to the new dance they were learning for a unit video with Leeknow and Jeongin. Leeknow, being the particular dancer he always was, made the choreo hour seem like 3. Afterwards, Chan said his demo tracks still weren’t ready but he could send one of them over for a listen. This left Seungmin a bit of freetime before lunch, so he decided to walk to the new chocolate store that opened down the street and buy you some mocha and espresso choco bites. With his goodies in hand, Seungmin proceeded to go about his day as normal, except for the fact that Jisung was freaking out when he met with Seungmin for lunch over how his recording session went terribly and he needed to reschedule soon because the tracks needed to be edited soon. All of Jisung’s stress made its way to Seungmin and started to give him an icky feeling. The best he could do was offer some comfort to Han by offering to help him on the vocals when he had a chance. This seemed to help him a bit. Not soon after, You texted Seungmin and this put him at ease. Running off after lunch, Seungmin found Chan in his studio working on the aforementioned demos. Trying to guilt trip his most loyal leader, Seungmin found himself getting an apologetic “Sorry min but the schedule is packed after 3:30. It's best to stay the day I think” from Chan. Welp. 

From here on, it was utter chaos. When Seungmin got to the group meeting room for a debrief on the morning schedule, no one but the manager was there. Everyone was late, Hyunjin didn’t have anything but a coffee and his phone because he forgot his laptop at home, Jeongin was sniffing because he was recovering from a cold, Leeknow was late because of a dance practice, Chris and Changbin were late because of the demo fixing, Jisung walked in with a second lunch, and Felix just lost track of time. Who knows what happened after that.  

In between song rehearsals, Seungmin replied to your text and apologized for the continuing schedule. He sensed your day hadn’t gone according to plan but he really couldn’t do much at the moment. Jisung was pestering him to help him with some vocals and he reluctantly agreed to a bit of help after the rehearsal. So much for going home early. 

After he grabbed his bag to head to Jisung’s studio room, he texted you again to make sure you were okay. 

Are you bored without me yet -S

Seungmin swung the door open and started slowly heading down the dimly lit hallway to let Jisung catch up. 

No Luna decided to spit up her lunch. Also the coffee machine broke -Y

My beloved coffee machine 🙁 -S

Seungmin got startled when he felt some hands on his shoulder. Jisung had caught up. 

“What did you think about that rehearsal huh?” Jisung chuckled and readjusted his hoodie over his head. “Personally, I don’t know if I’ll survive tomorrow.” He shook his head and grimaced. 

“Ah, it's fine. It’s strange because everyone was late but tomorrow won’t be that bad. I need a vacation after though.” Seungmin chuckled and stuffed his phone in his back pocket before heading into the elevator after Jisung. 

“Bro I’ve got so many tracks to finish and turn in, it’s insane.” 

“Tell me about it, I’ve got a bunch of people asking me for help.” Seungmin laughed and nudged at Jisung teasingly. Jisung got a bit embarrassed and slapped his arm playfully.

“I’m looking forward to the weekend.” Jisung sighed. 

“Me too.” Seungmin agreed wholeheartedly and followed his companion into the studio hallway.

-

Finally, 7pm hit the clock. You quickly set the table and hopped in the shower. All the unease in your stomach had made you do odd chores around the house to get your mind off of the feeling. You made your homemade lasagna, did 2 loads of laundry, vacuumed the whole house, and cleaned out the fridge. Still, you felt unfinished. The whole day at work, people had been asking for your assistance on different tasks and now that you did jobs for yourself, it didn’t feel satisfying enough. Additionally, you tried making your favorite caramel latte but the machine broke. You sighed as you washed your hair. After you got out and was on step 3 of your skincare routine, you heard the front door open and close, signaling the return of your boyfriend. 

Seungmin took the choco bites out of his bag before setting it on its designated hook in the hallway. Luna ran up to Seungmin and excitedly pawed at his shoes for pets. Suengmin smiled and crouched down to pet her before talking sweet nonsense despite her being a dog. 

You walked out from the bedroom, careful not to startle Seungmin and snickered a bit. 

“And here I thought I was the one going to get extra attention.” You teased. 

Seungmin stood up and waddled over to you with arms open wide. 

“Babyyyyyyyy. I missed you so” He said in his best baby voice. You adored Minnie. “Don’t strangle me Min.” You pouted. 

“I’m sorry, I just had a weird day.” You could hear his visible pout and you rubbed his back.

“Did you need something then? A kiss? Some food?” Seungmin held you out at arm’s length and got suddenly very serious.

“That is the first time someone has asked me that all day.” You giggled at his distraught face, knowing he was pouting about not getting enough attention. 

“Aw, my poor baby boy didn’t get enough love from his friends did he?” You smiled teasingly. He dramatically nodded yes and then seemed to have an epiphany. 

“Oh! I have something for you!” He ran over to the table and picked up a fancy yellow pastry box before opening them and stretching them out to you. 

“Aw, baby, you didn’t have to.” You picked up a chocolate cookie looking thing and bit into it. You expected a cruncy texture, but got more of a caramel bite of brownie spongieness. You sighed in pleasure and closed your eyes to savor the taste. 

“Mmmm! This is so good. Where did you get these from?” You opened your eyes. 

“There’s a new pastry shop by the JYP building! I thought you could use a pick me up today.” He stared at you excitingly, happy that you were happy. He happily walked back to the table and set down the box before sauntering to the kitchen. 

“Thanks Min, I really appreciate it. I needed the surprise.” He looked back at you and curiously asked what was wrong. 

“Ah, I just had a bad start to the morning. My meeting got delayed and I’ve been feeling weird all day.” You walked to the counter and began to plate some lasagna. “I did make my favorite dish for dinner though.” You felt arms wrap around you waist and a chin prop on your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do more, baby. Do you need something from me? Sometimes you just need someone to take care of you to feel better.” Suengmin said sweetly. You leaned your head back against him. 

“You’re too nice to me you know that right?” You sighed and got back to serving the food.

“No, I’m so serious right now. I feel like everyone asks so much of us that we don’t just get to take care of eachother.” He helped you carry the dishes to the table as he maintained the conversation. 

“So many people asked me for favors today. I realized how much I just wanted to go home and listen to someone ask about my day. I feel like that would make you feel better. So, I’ll do just that!” He happily exclaimed this last point and pulled out your chair for you to sit down in. You smiled and puckered your lips for a kiss. He happily obliged. You sweetly kissed him and said, “Min, all I want from you is your attention and your cuddles.” You giggled. He smiled and quickly grabbed some juice from the fridge before running to the table to sit down like a child. 

“Okay, tell me about your day. I want to know everything. I also want to know what I can do to make you feel better. Think of it as a master plan. Plan Y/N: Make Y/N feel loved and appreciated for all they do for everyone.” He motioned with his hands across the space in front of him. 

You shook your head and began from the very beginning. Seungmin listened the whole time and attentively ate while making agreeable sounds. Watching you be so animated about a normal day was so attractive to him, he thought to himself that he would spend all his days like today if he could return to you and listen to you speak. As dinner winded down, he held your hand across the table and spoke about his schedule that day. Although he was being pestered all day with favors, he felt that this one task that was given to him by you would never be an annoying one. He would gladly ask if you needed something from him if it meant giving you extra love and attention.

[running-in-the-dark]

a short list of 'fun' things my mother has done, for the next time I forget what she's really like

the one time she was supposed to pick me up from a friend's house (less than 20 minutes away), my friend and I were a little late getting back to her place because our train was late. I would've been 13 or 14, and I couldn't call my mother because neither of us had money/credit on our phones. when we arrived at my friend's house, her parents told me that my mother had been there and waited a few minutes, but then said she had a toothache so she left. we were maybe 20 minutes late. it was a Friday but we had school every second Saturday, so it was a school night.

I was supposed to go to her friend's wedding with her when I was 11 or 12. she was supposed to pick me up at my dad's place where I lived, and I was alone, so I walked our dog before she was supposed to be there. I was in a hurry, so I forgot my keys, but I thought it was fine because she was supposed to be there any minute. she showed up three hours later. it was winter, there was snow. I think I eventually broke a small part of a window at the back of the house so I could get in because I got really worried about my dog - that was right before she showed up though, so we'd been outside in the snow for hours and it was already getting dark by that point.

her, my brother and I were on the way to a dentist appointment, I think I was maybe 13. she stopped somewhere to run an errand. my brother got out of the car and kept shaking the car really hard the entire time she was gone. he didn't stop when I asked him to and eventually I got upset. when she came back, I told her what he had done and that he wouldn't stop. she told me to be quiet and stop being difficult, I was upset and said that's not fair, she slapped me in the face. my lip was bleeding. we were driving through the village where my dad and I lived, but she refused to stop the car and let me get out. I refused to go to the appointment because my lip and shirt were bloody.

didn't take me to a doctor when I fell on my head and most likely had a concussion

didn't take me to a doctor when I twisted and probably sprained my ankle falling down some stairs and couldn't walk for over a week

once pretended she left me and my brother behind in a small town because we were walking too slowly (we were maybe 3-5 years old) and actually got in the car and drove off (she came back after a few minutes but it still terrified me)

yelled at me when I didn't immediately understand how to knit when she tried to teach me (I was about 6)

made me copy 4 pages of text into the about me section of my friendship/poetry book (that you let your friends write stuff in) because what I wrote wasn't good enough

explained to me that I didn't need to be scared of airplanes because of crashes because those are rare - no, I should be scared of them being kidnapped by terrorists instead (I was 4 or 5)

immediately after that: explained what prostitution is and that it's important so that men don't rape women and children (again, I was like FIVE. the news were on the radio and I didn't know what the word meant so I asked.)

one time my art teacher told her at a parents evening that she (my mother) was just jealous of me because I was young and so different from her and that's why she treated me that way and didn't like me. she thought that was hilarious and immediately told me about it when she came home. she just found it sooo funny and ridiculous. I'm still not sure if she made it up, but tbh both options (it really happened or she made it up) would be weird as hell.

[fuck-customers]

Idk if I ever told the story here but given as I’m thankfully not working rn to focus on school, I remembered an incident that happened at my old job (it’s not sad or enraging don’t worry all y’all)

I used to work at Moss Lress For Dess and my coworkers and managers were all cool there and the customers were mildly infuriating at most (for me who was a stockroom/fitting room attendant so I didn’t deal with register Karens)

One time we had a lot of stock come in so we were all rushing and one of our shortest and sternest managers (love her to death honestly she’s like the mom you don’t wanna disappoint) jumped in to help load the tall carts yknow, those metal shelved 4 shelf thing on wheels? Yeah, our policy safety thing with those is don’t stack anything on the top of it that could fall and hurt your head, like pillows and blankets and towels are fine cause they’re soft and stuff but sometimes we get so swamped with product we’d break the rule and put whatever on top but usually tried to make sure it was smth that wouldn’t fall easy or get pushed by the stockroom door off the top.

Well I was running carts with some others and the manager that hopped in to help was doing the fast stocking of some of the carts in our little conveyer belt type system we got back there, and she threw a stack of like 3 medium sized whiteboards on the top of the cart and I grabbed that one, called out I was running that section cart, then hurried out the double doors like everyone else, except this time the doors pushed the whiteboards off the top and they came crashing down on the top right above my forehead and one slid down on the way to the floor and cut/scraped the bridge of my nose a little and those were kinda heavy and I just braced myself cause it happened so suddenly

And this was obviously an accident cause everyone saw me cause it was right at the entrance of the stockroom so someone pushed my cart aside as my manager stopped what she was doing to help me to the bathroom to assess the damage and I was like ow haha wow my nose is scraped, and then we went to the office and she immediately started on an incident report and stuff she pulled the footage showing the accident and did all that for me as I sat there waiting and I told the people on the phone what happened and I ended up leaving early and had to call my brother to pick me up cause I didn’t know if I got a concussion so I didn’t wanna drive myself, I got a bit of a headache and was a little dizzy but to be fair I have a coconut head so it wasn’t that bad (I grew up basically being a basketball to the head magnet no matter where I was)

Anyways I could have gotten a big payout or smth cause it was clearly my managers fault for stacking the shelf like that on the cart but also we all loved her and we were all stacking them not correct because our smaller store gets too much product and told to rush it out every time by people above the managers so we kinda stick together like that??? I didn’t need medical attention luckily but I thought it was a funny story and tbh I’ve been hit worse in the head in the past as a kid so 🤷‍♂️

Anyways yeah that was prob like 2 years ago now??? That manager was a real one tho she was strict but understanding about stuff

Posted by admin Rodney.

[real-total-drama-takes]

OKAY MOD COURTNEY, I KNOW THIS IS MY 4 TIME TODAY COMMENTING IN THE TOTAL DRAMA TAKES BLOG BUT PLEASE HEAR ME OUT, PLEASE❗❗

I'll give you 4 takes and then I'll stop I SWEAR

1. What if the 2023 reboot had a extra episode in the same way that was the total drama drama drama drama episode?

IF THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED I HOPE THAT THE MOST ICONIC TEAM FROM THERE WAS RIPPER, AXEL AND SCARY GIRL. Like- IMAGINE. a Secretly gay loser, a Melanie Martinez fan and a Girl boss. WHAT CAN GO WRONG?! And then in the start they all Will start hating each other with all forces possible, and then during the next scenes of the episode they are just walking around, gossiping and giggling, JUST LIKE A NORMAL BRAZILIAN FRIEND GROUP, 2 GIRL BOSSES AND THEIR GAY FRIEND. (Scary Girl would paint his nails while he gossips about the type of crime that happened In his class)

2. Julia was a horrible villain, and almost all her fans are annoying and toxic 13 years old Tik tokers. SERIOUSLY, she's Overrated in the same level than Courtney (Bowie solos her btw, Bowie is a slayer, SLAY KING🗣️👑❗❗)

3. Ripper x Chase and Axel x Nichelle will happen in the next season🕯️

4. JULIA JUST WENT TO THE FINAL 4 BECAUSE OF LUCK. if I was Bowie, I would make her be eliminated in EP 2. ALSO- SHE JUST GOT DRAGGED BY THE SCRIPT SINCE EP 5

she could be eliminated instead of Mk in EP 6 because she showed everyone the Phone thing UNTIL their elimination cerimony started. And she got nervous when they asked her about why she was showing that for them just now.

She could be eliminated In EP 7 if Raj and Wayne didn't get beated by a BIRD

RIPPER COULD EASILY WIN IMMUNITY IN EP 8 AND JULIA COULD GO HOME, RIPPER DESERVES MORE THAN HER🗣️❗❗

If wasn't for Zee saying that one Double alliance Shitzu on EP 9 she could flop and never come back

IN EP 10 IF CHASE HAD ENOUGH OF EMMA AND EVERYONE ELSE HE COULD WIN IMMUNITY AND JULIA WOULD DISAPPEAR

And in EP 11... Okay, Emmas elimination was Worth it, Really. TAKE THAT, TAYLOR SWIFT ENJOYER!

And in EP 12... She got what she deserved BUT ANYWAYS, RIPPERS GANG AND BOWIE COULD EASILY BEAT THE SHITZU OUT OF JULIA

I just still like Julia cuz she is funny. BUT I HATE HER AS A VILLAIN

okay, that's it. E é isso um beijo do Deimos💋 Tchau

.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

8.29.24 Thursday--Crime???

12:58 am

Still,have windblow...

Weird! I streamed in Tagged but some visitors posted that I have no sound... Why? Hmm...

Probably,controller of "Church Of Christ"....My "WAR OF ROSES"....

There are people behind the system virtually, can actually control our system...

I need extra 2 phone but I'm still broke...

Or people just planned not to hear me at all??? They don't want me to talk???

How can I say my rumour??? My rumour for my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x...

Fine! I'm a rebel!!!

If they don't want to listen then watch me...

Still...

I heard a rumour, I heard rumour that whoever control my system, to be muted will have a bad luck this Ber months...

I heard a rumour, I heard rumour that my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x will always think of me,will never find happiness or a tragedy for them...

9:33 am

Still,have windblow...

Uncle DD and Aunt Karen are here today...I wonder what fulfillment they have or what damage they did since yesterday???

So,funny...It is not my ideal life here angels... People are crazy here...College are undergraduate and undergraduate is college...

I'm self-pitying for 17 years here in Cavite... The Church Of Christ are so good to destroy people who doesn't belong to them....

I received this Alpha Arbutin of Brilliant but it was actually received by Uncle DD coz it is recorded in Lazadah! It is a nice thing to have in Lazadah...

Again and again....

Did Mitch give me those and these "simple battery" of life???

9:52 am

Uncle Jun went here few minutes ago then knocking the door hard,he was a bit irritated coz the door "is locked" ( Present Perfect Tense ). He just got a water and drank it... Then, I made a joke with John that "it is super scary" I said plus I said "let's run"! hahahah...

I feel bad...I wanna get my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x...

10:30 am

Beth texted me that if Aunt Bing is here coz Babes my cousin, Aunt Bing's daughter said that Aunt Bing went out around 4am to go here... Somehow,weird... Something serious...

I said she is not here coz nana was already awakened around 3am today... But I said just chill coz Aunt Bing is a kind of person who enjoys making friends around here in Cavite... Like my cousin Babes is much more popular than me here...

I'm thinking of money, job and my future... I wanted to get my cousin-white! I wanna have a story of my own love life...

I feel so frustrated...

12:50 noon

Uncle Jun just brought a chocolate coz he doesn't have money... But for dinner only today...

But we still have some veggies and eggs... But not my ideal life.

Good thing we still have eggs coz I will have Gerd again, I need to eat even a lil...

I still want my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x .... They are middle-class my original level as well before... I still want my nose perfection and my slim fast,in time... My family should be closed but I miss my old friends, hmmm... Guilty people or Guilty Friends???

1:37 pm

Missing for real this Tita Bing? Coz they are very friendly here in Cavite... Weird!

1:48 pm

Still,have windblow...

Chocolate is a good energy food for a long hours...1 block of chocolate can last for 4 hours for you to have energy. It is an emergency food or booster food of mountaineers or rock climbers... But in house, we need a genuine meal,of course!

Dark Chocolate is good for the body,every now and then...But I love mint chocolate like Andes!

2:13 pm

Still, have windblow...

I wanna leave Cavite... I hate them here but I have no choice...

I want to get my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x... But will try to do a vlog... It is my dream... My cousin is so cute... A free form vlog, my plan... "A love for a cousin"...

I should close my family first for awhile since I can't see my old guilty friends...

2:27 pm

Uncle DD should enroll in De La Salle angels... What did they do for 17 years???

Mitch needs to be responsible for something???

2:58 pm

I need to get my cousin-white for real on my Aunt Ten2x...

3:50 pm

Still,have windblow...

I miss the old good days angels where my room here used to have AC... I lost the 17 years... I really wanna get my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x... i want to be middle-class again aside from my cousin-white is really cute!

This room used to be cold 24/7 angels.... It was a doll room... But everything change these 17 years... Sad... But I wanna leave Cavite and be with my cousin-white. I feel bullshit!

4:10 pm

Still,have windblow...

They just took my 17 years,those are irreligious people on and off the screen....They just wanted to take my place unfairly....

4:17 pm

There is water interruption again, I'm finishing my laundry... My last phase is John's floormats then suddenly water stopped.

Irritating!!!

4:23 pm

I think there are a spy somewhere in-front and bullying me or copying me unfairly....

8:38 pm

It is unfair , it is confusing... I know, I'm worth it! Someone is worth it! But they judge me for 17 years....War Of The Roses!!! ( Church Of Christ ).

They took that away from me coz they have lil faith! Or Their hearts are arrogant to smash me unfairly!

9:12 pm

Still,have windblow...

I feel irritated, I'm seeing some cute stuff and I want it but I also want some mature stuff angels...

I hope my cousin-white will be supportive of my bitterish old self that they wanted me ugly and fat and took my 17 years here, that I want to go back to being cute angels...

I hope my cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x will be very supportive and loving and understanding. I hope he can be my "Harvey"....

I want vanities angels...

I will call my cousin- white on my Aunt Ten2x as Harvey... The sweet and faithful bf of Sabrina the teenage witch...

9:23 pm

Angels please find cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x... Tell him he will be my Harvey...

9:31 pm

I lost my moment... I lost my love story...I lost my future... What did I do? I didn't harm anyone here angels...

I feel bitterish...