#and the fact that we see them juxtapose the light at the end of the van scene

[habaritess]

Is Claire Bear one of the villains of The Bear? Part 2

Here is Part 1.

We get another sign of Claire detachment when she and Carmy are talking after the mail drop. She talks about hanging out as kids, doing things together, and shoplifting. Carmy is completely caught off guard by this as Claire nonchalantly talks about stealing from walgreens many times. The potential harm in her actions once again goes unnoticed by Claire, and even Carmy openly expresses how that isn’t right. But Claire just doubles down on it and calls it thrilling, expressing no remorse for her actions. What's interesting is that we later meet an eccentric guy from their past name Kyle, who also shares a similar sentiment to stealing as Claire. Might be a stretch, but I believe this scene was place there for us as the viewers to juxtapose Claire and Kyle because despite them being two very different people in appearance and behavior, they share the same neurotic viewpoint and are thus, people meant to be avoided.

The car scene continues with Claire confirming to Carmy how she “observed” him drawing at his desk since she sat behind him, something even he didn’t recall. One of the interesting things to note about this conversation was Claire admitting how they never really talked, and that she wished she knew why he was drawing. Carmy than tells Claire he wished she talked to him more. Carmy had no friends and was a loner who drew at his desk to help pass the time. Claire saw that and chose not to socially engage with him. This fact she is trying to deny. Claire tries to turn that around and say that she tried but he was too shy. From this conversation, I got the feeling that Claire was trying to create an untrue picture of their childhood together to make her appear better to Carmy. Claire was the pretty popular girl with tons of friends who didn’t give Carmy the time of day when they were younger. She could have talked to him but didn’t, and Carmy put the onus on her for not doing so, after Claire pointed out at the beginning of the conversation that they’ve never really talked.

Claire did not expect Carmy to do this. She wanted to create a fictional viewpoint for Carmy that showed her in a better light than what she really was, that she was always interested in getting to know him, but he was too shy. Carmy eventually puts some blame on himself by admitting she did have a lot of friends( and thus intimidated), so these manipulations in the memories are working. I believe this is what helped shape Carmy's view of Claire in future episodes, especially the ones in season 3 where he has this romanticized view of her. Claire then mentions a party that she wants to go to, and Carmy becomes visibly uncomfortable about the idea. Seeing the discomfort, Claire then guilt trips him to going by telling him that he owes her now for taking him for this ride.

Now, some could argue that Carmy did wrong first that day by changing their plans to hang out and taking a trip to the post office, a place Claire obviously didn’t want to go, so Carmy should deal with going to a party. But people should not forget that Claire has been pulling the strings since she got his number and Carmy never wanted to go out with Claire in the first place. Carmy was using their hang out time to do something useful, but he was also trying to get to know Claire, which their hang out time would have been mainly about anyways. Carmy also did not guilt trip Claire into this, as Claire always does to Carmy. If she didn’t want to go, he would not have told her “ you owe me for helping you move”. He would have just accepted it.

The manipulation doesn’t end there. They are both at the party. Claire promises 15 minutes tops, and they end up staying there all the way until the party ends. There is a scene where Carmy checks in on Claire and on first watch, I thought he was staring at her to admire her, but we all know how Carmy looks when he is in awe of of a person( how he stares at Sydney when they first met, when she returns, when they are physically close to each other) and that wasn’t the expression on his face. Dude was getting impatient and wanting to leave, but felt that he couldn’t say anything since Claire was still comforting her friend.

Claire sees Carmy staring and she continues to “comforting her friend” trying to make it obvious that she isn’t ready to leave. Carmy is then distracted by men who mistook him for someone else, and here Claire is happy to see a more extroverted Carmy. When they get settled down, Claire once again throws the fake number in Carmy face. I strongly believe that Claire knew that Carmy didn’t enjoy himself at the party. He was just making conversation. She wanted to make sure their night didn't stop at this party, so she once again guilt trips him about the fake number.

Claire asks him this out of the blue, suddenly becoming serious, and stares at him with puppy dog eyes. She askes him this as if she is asking "why would you do this to me?" Carmy falls for it every time, and he goes for appeasement to avoid answering the question, instead telling her how much he “likes” her. Claire than goes for the seduction route, and openly makes her move on him.  Carmy knows what she is implying when she reaches out to touch him, and you can see the uncertainty on his face when she confronts him with it.

I feel strongly that Carmy would have ended the day sooner with Claire, rather than spend the rest of the day with her, had she not made her intentions of spending the night with him so obvious. When they get to Claire's vehicle, Carmy makes the choice to take Claire to his restaurant, but really observe his face during this. After Claire tells Carmy that her friend found another boyfriend and they are standing on either side of her car, Claire looks at Carmy expectantly. She doesn’t want the night to end and Carmy easily reads that on her face. He then reluctantly suggests going to the restaurant. Note how Carmy moves with Claire always involves the restaurant. It is always a matter of convenience for him.  Now really look at this scene tho. Carmy is guaranteed a booty call staying with Claire tonight and yet, his face as he suggests the restaurant and she agrees, is nothing but dissatisfaction. There is no excitement in those eyes, he is still trying to appease her.

Even with her promise of sexual activities, he wasn’t enthusiastic about it. He is mechanically doing what is expected of a guy that “likes” a girl, something he's been telling her to get him off his back on the fake number, but now he has to prove it. When she agrees to go, his face is one of disappointment.

Carmy takes Claire to the restaurant to have their first kiss. At this point, he accepts what is about to happen and chooses to do so in a place I strongly believed he imagined his first kiss with Sydney would be in. It’s one of the ways Carmy mentally deals with being with Claire is just trying to put Claire in Sydney’s place. Even with the kiss, it’s Claire who moves forward first as Carmy follows her lead. He even speaks his true feelings out loud when he repeats what Claire just said to him “very fast”, that they are moving way too fast.

If it wasn’t for Fak interrupting them, the kiss would have been terrible on Carmy’s part, because you can tell he just wasn’t into it. But Fak’s interruptions actually gave him confidence, because Fak tells him how Claire is just THE best, which he agrees, then Fak informs Carmy that he is great too. It’s just the boost the guy needed, and he was able to proceed with a very passionate kiss afterwards.

In episode 8, we get to the next day after they had sex for the first time, and you would think being able to score would have a guy feeling great… but Carmy is not feeling great at all. First sign is how he left Claire alone in bed early morning. She doesn’t get the satisfaction of waking up next to him. She wakes up alone in bed and has to find him brooding on a kitchen counter. Before Claire is up, we see Carmy fiddling with his hands. I believe his mind is on Sydney, since the episode opens up with what she was doing at this moment.

Try as Carmy might, Carmy could not wake up happy with Claire by his side. Whatever happened last night, did not leave the man feeling good( and when you think about it, of course it wouldn’t since he never wanted this in the first place). When Claire gets to him, Carmy is staring off into space and even she knows something is wrong with him. We later learned that Carmy had a panic attack last night about his mother driving her car into the house. What made sleeping with Claire bring up all these bad memories? I will get to that soon.

So at this point, Carmy is still doing what Claire wants. He knows she wants to be romantically involved with him, and he engages with her. But Carmy does not view what occurs as something HE wants. Claire is the “friend” who wants a physical relationship and he feels obligated to do so because he “wronged” her. This is all for her and not him. So when Sydney calls Claire his girlfriend, he bulks at that. “Girlfriend? You think?” He later on vehemently denies it again when Sydney brings it up because whats going on between them just isn’t that. He knows it’s not that. What he has with Claire doesn’t feel “good” and girlfriends are supposed to be a good thing. Then Sydney, unaware of how their relationship started, implies that him not clarifying what they are looks bad on him, and the poor dude is horrified and confused. He doesn’t want to be viewed as “shitty”, especially not to Sydney, but we the viewers know that Carmy isn’t using Claire for her body, even though he could have. It was obvious to Carmy what Claire intentions were from the beginning and he purposely chose not to pursue even though she would have been an easy lay. But Sydney calling his actions potentially shitty made him question his own actions up to this point and WHY he was with Claire in the first place. He is so confused he looks for another perspective of this and asks Faks if Claire is his girlfriend. This showcases Carmy innocence and lack of experience and why he is so easy to groom in this case. When speaking with Faks on this, he asks if he needs to ask Claire if she is his girlfriend and Faks doesn’t like the way he worded it. Carmy original framing of this question is the exact kind of dynamic they have because his input is not needed, he is still doing what she wants so what she says goes.

Unfortunately, in his confusion and trying to avoid being a shit person, he confirms with Claire that they are boyfriend and girlfriend.

Or at least, he tries to tell himself that. Dude is trying to be happy with Claire and tries to treat Claire how he would have treated Sydney, the person he was actually trying to be with. He makes Claire fresh pasta, something he was probably going to treat Sydney to after their conversation in episode 2. Claire responds with a kiss and they make love once again.

I used to believe that the rapid heart rate and the panic attacks Carmy had with Claire was due to her connection with his past, but now I strongly believe it is mostly due to Claire’s actions. Carmy doesn’t want to be with Claire, but he forces himself to because of Claire purposeful manipulations of a traumatized man. He feels like he owes her and he gives her what she wants every time, but doing so is traumatic for him. He can’t help it. His mind is trying to convince himself that he want this, but his body reacts to the truth. Being with Claire is like living with his mother. He had to do what Donna wants to manage her and her chaotic nature. There is no getting through to his mom when she in that state, so the only way to avoid escalation is to do whatever she wants when she wants it.

When you are use to living in this state of constant appeasement, like how Carmy had to do with his mother, it is very easy to fall back to those toxic habits when dealing with other people. It's hard for them to realize that what they want matters. He fell back into it with Chef David, taking his abuse. He fell back into it with Claire. He is just a ball of stress and anxiety as he tries to make Claire happy while ignoring what he truly wants. He wants Syd so he tries to put Sydney into Claire as a coping mechanism. He makes her the food he would have made Syd. He was rewarded for his efforts by Claire sleeping with him, but instead of it being a great thing, he gets an even bigger panic attack the next day as his feelings toward Claire becomes more and more intertwined with how he always felt living with his mother. It’s toxic and Carmey slowly starts to realize that after his panic attack in episode 9, and the only way to calm him down was thoughts of Sydney, who he truly wanted to be with.

You can see him starting to accept it. The dude was planning on breaking up with her. He begins ignoring her calls. He tells Sydney that she will have his full focus. Unfortunately, after Claire runs off after overhearing his grievances of wasting his time with “pleasure” rather than focusing on the restaurant and being their for Sydney, Carmy listens to the voice message that Claire sent to him. The sweet message, plus her confession of love, tears him apart, and he is once again racked with guilt over Claire.

We see in season 3, Carmy closes himself emotionally in order to build up the perfect restaurant, and he refuses to make up with Claire as a result. His avoidance of her and his refusal to address what happened between them, does the opposite effect, and now he can’t stop thinking of her. Memories of Claire are seen through a rosy retrospection. She becomes something to him that she never was… “peace.” Even through his Claire obsession, we get a flashback in episode 4 where Carmy is making out with Claire and Claire notices that Carmy's heart is beating fast.

When Carmy is with Claire, he is not at peace. He is in constant fight or flight mode. Even when something good is happening with Claire, he can never truly settle down with her. He can’t because their relationship started on a manipulative basis. Any romance he had with Claire is tainted by that reality. This is why we never see Carmy at peace when dealing with Claire. This is why sleeping with her results in panic attacks. This is why he isn’t happy waking up next to Claire in bed. Being with Claire to Carmy is like being with his mother… but the show avoids making obvious parallels between them. Claire is toxic, but not in the same way as his mother. She isn’t angry, yelling, throwing things, or cursing. Claire is the kind of toxic that is unassuming, hidden securely behind a reassuring smile while making a person feel like they are the worst kind of person. She does so with an air of innocence that fools everyone around her.

If I’m correct in Claire being one of the villains of the Bear, I believe that when Carmy finally decides to talk with Claire again, Carmy will confront why being with Claire always felt so bad. I find it hard to believe that they would have Carmy so panicky around her for no reason if Claire wasn’t intended to be another negative person in his life.

[homestuckreplay]

💙 John Egbert's Glorious Return! 💙

(page 843-847)

JOHN IS BACK!! HI JOHN I MISSED YOU <3

He is not doing so hot though. On top of making the dangerous, precarious decision to fight with an impressively bouncy weapon on a small platform above a bottomless pit, he’s clearly outmatched by these two giant ogres. The infinite loop of this animation is really well done, it genuinely feels like these two teams could stay in this stalemate for a while – until Rose gets back online and turns the tide, perhaps. And I laugh every time the grainy ‘Sassacre’ gets stamped over the otherwise very clean art style.

I’m really looking forward to Rose entering the Medium, so we can find out what’s specific to John’s game and what’s general to Sburb. For example, is it part of the game that a sprite will try to protect their assigned player? Or is it John’s nanna specifically (or the harlequin doll, I guess) who has that instinct? Do all sprites have the same powers (eye beams that destroy imps and heal players) or do the powers vary based on what’s prototyped?

I also want to know more about Jade’s predictions; it’s a fun narrative trick to have the reminder on her finger transition into another character, but has she literally seen a vision of this event in the same way that the Wayward Vagabond might watch this moment through a screen? (If so, is it possible she has these visions via her strange holographic computer?) Or does she have more of a vague understanding of things she shouldn’t, just ‘happening’ to be right as she does with the memory modus and the gadgets she’s created, a general sense of ‘John and his benevolent guide will have a challenging battle’?

I am DELIGHTED by the return of ‘Years in the future…’ followed by GameFAQs, and the fact that different characters have taken over these pages to mark a different act. In Act 2 we eventually learned that WV and Rose were in the same location; in Act 2 we already know that the Peregrine Mendicant and John are in the same place. I barely know the Peregrine Mendicant but I think they are so cool. They met a giant metal worm and got so angry when it ate one of their mailboxes (!) that they immediately reached for their sword, which incidentally is the first cool sword in Homestuck (not sorry, Dave). The cross on top of the sword looks like the cross usually found on the king in a chess set, so this must be a powerful sword from the dark kingdom, while PM is from the light. Could this be a clue to what happened in the battle of light and dark in John’s Sburb game?

Page 845 (incidentally one of my favorite pages in the comic so far) is the first time we’ve seen longform writing from John, and it’s a WHOLE new side to him. His character voice is a little different in this medium, but still recognizably John. And he is SO SO SMART, I apologize for everything I have ever said about John being bad at things and not sticking with them, because it turns out that ‘You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT’ (p.4) was just John’s low self worth and dismissal of his own skills, like here when he says ���wow ok that pretty much looks like shit, but you get the idea’ about his cool ASCII art. Like, the John of page 843 is not in his element, he’s fighting two gigantic deadly foes when before today he’s never seen worse combat than being pied in the face, but the John of page 845 knows his shit, has reverse engineered some pretty complex mechanics from just a few punched cards, and is explaining it in terms easy to understand. And he’s making all these really clever leaps and he does brag about his ‘leet haxxor cred’ and he’s clearly excited about what he’s writing about, but I still feel like he doesn’t have much confidence, as he ends by deferring to Jade’s skills. I love how these two John pages are juxtaposed, and I cannot describe the pride I feel in seeing John really shine at something.

Goth queen Rose Lalonde has gone from cat mausoleum to vast, ominous green science lab full of uranium and/or slime, and I’m happy for pages like 840 and 847 that are primarily atmospheric, something I don’t think we’ve seen much of before. The lab’s logo reads ‘SN’, not the cool S, but one with an atom symbol in the upper curve and a spirograph in the lower – both familiar symbols, as both appear on Jade’s shirt (p.794), the atom appears on some of her inventions such as the wardrobifier (p.793), and the spirograph has appeared regularly as a symbol of Skaia. Could SN be SkaiaNet, developers of Sburb, first mentioned on page 114? If so, could Rose’s mom have something to do with the development of Sburb, potentially explaining why Mom knew to build a tunnel from the mausoleum to the lab if she’s had some visions similar to Jade’s. I think that would suck for Rose, as she’s worked hard to be independent from her mom and have her own interests, and to find out that her mom has been controlling her life in a pretty major way the entire time would probably be really hard to come to terms with.

I have been having loads of fun with this punch card calculator; more great work from Gankra, who has programmed several of the interactive pages including p.253. I would punch so many cards if I had a designix.

> John: Take another look at that rocket pack.

[aimfor-theheart]

If you have the time, I would like to hear your thoughts on the parallels between itadori and suguru pretty pls😌🎤

omg i would love to. it’s honestly one of my fav parallels in jjk. i think it sometimes gets overlooked bc itadori is more jovial/fun/light color schemed like gojo and fushiguro is more serious/dark color schemed like getou BUT. just listen!!

to begin this parallel, we can start with the most obvious one in my mind. and that’s the fact that itadori and getou both ingest curses. they quite literally eat them. they’ve both talked about their taste—how gross they are. getou remarks that no one knows the taste of a curse. but now itadori does.

my next parallel between them is more in terms of their story arc. both of them have very strong morals; morals which their counterparts (gojo and fushigro) sort of scoff at in the beginning. itadori and getou both believe that people need to be protected. and those who are stronger, should work to protect them. NOW….getou’s do change. but let’s look at the moment that forever changes him; it’s strikingly similar to a moment itadori has, too.

the moment riko dies for getou is incredibly similar to how junpei dies for itadori; in the sense that, here was this person they had worked to protect and save, here was this friend who they wanted in their life, and all their ideals they had placed in them, being torn very gruesomely away. this is also a pivotal moment for every wide-eyed sorcerer. they must deal with death. and the death of those closest to them.

morally, this is where their paths diverge. but we certainly see itadori begin to spiral the way getou also had to spiral when faced with the constant death and loss of other sorcerers. specifically i’ll show these next two panels to depict that;

same position. same idea is being conveyed for both. lost, traumatized, uncertain of the morals they once held; where did it get them? where did it get others? for both, many ended up dead.

now the other parallels i’ll draw…one of which is almost an exact replica of the other, is the way in which their bodies are not fully their own anymore. kenjaku inhabits getou completely and uses his body to do things he would not have done. similarly, sukuna does the same to itadori. and there are moments where getou and itadori have tried to fight back against the one controlling them;

that parallel is the one that really did it for me. oh it’s so poetic in the most wretched way. i love it.

beyond that, both itadori and getou are not from prominent families in the sorcerer world. there is little expectation placed upon them in this regard. also, they both get entangled in the politics of the higher ups and both are ordered to be hunted and executed at a point in their story.

now i could also bring in gojo and fushiguro, too, which would also highlight the parallels between them. both are from prominent sorcerer families and have a lot of expectations placed upon an extremely powerful inherited cursed technique. both grew up in the sorcerer world. getou and itadori juxtapose them in which they have to learn how brutal this world is. in fact, they serve to remind gojo and fushiguro that the world doesn’t have to be the way it’s always been.

now, of course, morally, itadori is not like getou. and their parallels are not exact nor should they be!

itadori (and fushiguro) serve to try and end the cycles that getou (and gojo) were trapped in.

in my mind, the parallel here was always one of hope; itadori is supposed to do what getou failed to do. narratively, he has been set up to end the cycle.

at least, he had been. i’ll stop here before i start cursing out akutami and his absolute assassination of itadori’s character in more recent arcs and chapters. but really truly the getou/itadori parallel is a favorite of mine, much like the gojo/fushiguro parallel. i think this is where jjk’s writing is at some of its strongest.

thank you for asking!! i hope you enjoyed my lil analysis/presentation!

[neonscandal]

Manga With Me: Obscure Head Canons (and Hypotheses) You’d Probably Develop When Reading the JJK Light Novels, Pt 2

Same as before, hypotheses at the end in case you want to keep it light and tight!

Part One

⚠️ Spoiler Warning for Jujutsu Kaisen Thorny Road at Dawn and season 2 of the anime (manga spoilers are vague at best).

Head Canon: The Moral High Ground is Going to Cost You

There's something to be said for sorcerers who operate in secret, careful to not evoke chaos with the existence of their strength and power and that of curses. Moreso when, in the heat of battle, they still factor in the greater good and weigh it against those in immediate danger. We saw it in Shibuya as Gojo used his technique in the presence of countless civilians which still came at a great cost to them. He was a bit more cavalier but the first story focused on Inumaki and his monk-like discipline to never use words carelessly lest he curse those around him.

Curses and curse users are shown to be morally impudent and his careful existence is juxtaposed by a curse user with a similar technique who employs it freely and without giving it a second thought as he tries to capture and subsequently traffick Nobara. Even when backed into a corner, Inumaki is taking hits to avoid accidentally causing harm to Nobara and it does him no favors. This is obviously indicative of a larger theme we see wherein the primary antagonists of JJK are regularly seen frolicking on the beach, playing soccer, playing board games, etc. Meanwhile, the limited stock of sorcerers are regularly having their asses handed to them for the sake of doing the right thing. Another stunning example of this is Nanami Kento when compared directly to Mei Mei.

Head Canon: Perhaps, More Specifically, Emotional Ties to Others Are Going to Cost You

What's funny about this is the fact that this is shown multiple times in a novel that only has five stories. We've already seen it countless times in the anime/manga:

JJK 0 - Yuta's inability to part with Rika curses her.

Season 1 - Megumi saves Yuji or vice versa and it brings about Sukuna and the killing curse upon Tsumiki.

Season 1 - Junpei's mother is used as his breaking point just as Junpei himself is used as leverage against Yuji.

Season 2 - There's something to be said about Riko Amanai and the hopelessness and turmoil her death inspires, whether you want to say Geto was emotionally tied to her or not.

Season 2 - In the story's biggest reveal, we come to realize that Gojo's inability to properly dispose of Geto's body creates a vulnerability Kenjaku is able to exploit.

While the story with Inumaki also ties into this, I think his relationship with Nobara is more proximal and subsequently, his story more or less shows that he is earnest regardless of whose safety is on the line. Emotion being a sliding scale and all, it makes sense that Mechamaru's story is the best example of how, even when there wasn't a physical risk to him, he was still grappling with how best to win a fight against another shikigami user. Mechamaru is uniquely qualified for the fight since his robot body is the only thing that can go into a gas infused curtain. While this is another example of technique matchups, ultimately, it's a far better insight into Mechamaru's presumed pragmatism when weighed against his affection for Miwa. He'd rather potentially gamble a strategic loss than jeopardize a friendship bracelet she'd given him. As for it's impact on the larger story, this heat of the moment desperation to maintain this connection to Miwa is perhaps what later inspires him to be greedier down the line in seeking a new body from Ken!Geto and Mahito and... we see how that turned out.

Head Canon: Gojo is Far More Sentimental Than His Flippancy Suggests

Gojo is constantly on his bull shit. The duality of the strongest sorcerer capable of processing everything who is constantly spouting Digimon references, binging sugary sweets and asking about his colleague's kink satisfaction is my favorite thing, honestly. Gojo cavalierly addresses his responsibilities as a sorcerer, one could argue he's kind of a bad teacher, but he goes out of his way to protect people even if his manner is rude. He point blank told Ijichi to not become a sorcerer lest he be killed which was disrespectful as hell but... the man had a point. Ijichi falls under the purview of Gojo's concern (whether that be as his once kohai or given how useful he is to him now, I won't say) and Gojo pulls strings to make sure that he too is taken care of. Ijichi, the backbone of operations at Jujutsu Tokyo carries that weight unyieldingly because he assumes "it's the least he can do" even though we know that managers actually pave the way for a lot of the goings on in jujutsu society. It's a symbiotic relationship but Ijichi carries every loss, like Yuji's death on a mission, excruciatingly personally. To the point where it wears him down. In the last book, we saw that, following Geto's defection, Gojo recognizes the delicate nature of a person's heart. It's why he entrusts Yuji's mentorship to Nanami. What's interesting about all of this is, if he can see Ijichi's stress and exhaustion, how did he miss Geto's? Maybe that's a burden he also carries. Ironically, I think this harsh way of caring for others is maybe the way of the sorcerers because we see it with Megumi and Nobara in how they treat Yuji.

Head Canon: There's an Obvious Sacrifice of Youth in Jujutsu Society But There's Also Nowhere for Girlhood to Exist

With what we don't see of Mai in the main story, the story that centers on her deciding to go against orders and take on a curse much stronger than her is actually so heartbreaking? Let's start off with the fact that she chose to unnecessarily exorcise a flyhead which is ultimately what forges a connection between her and Yuu, a girl who later became a window for sorcerers. Seems like a small task considering Mai's relative competency but as the story progresses, we get a deep insight into the fact that, the terror Mai had for curses as a kid is still alive and well within her. Whether she can defend herself or not, she is still fearful but she pushes forward "alone" because that's the only choice Maki left her with.

What's interesting about Mai and the Kyoto students is, 1) the sheer volume/concentration of female students compared to Tokyo and, 2) their propensity to attack as a group with the exception of Todo. In JJK 0, Maki remarked that those who are weak tend to have to stick together. I don't mention this as an assessment of the relative strength of Miwa, Nishimoto or Mai (especially since I still think Miwa will get a power up). But this story demonstrates their pack mentality when they were just idling in a cafe like students should but even in not allowing Mai to go after Yuu alone. Their success was because of their reliance on one another but, from what we've seen in Shibuya and what's to come in the culling games... that doesn't bode well for fighters who can't defend on their own.

Mai is a product of one of the big 3 jujutsu families, the Zenin clan being incredibly misogynistic to boot. As such, she is still downtrodden and runs the risk of being admonished even when fulfilling duties in line with what a sorcerer should do. She (and the other girls) are damned if they do and damned if they don't. Additionally, I assume the Kyoto school's tendency to fight as a group is from the influence of Gakuganji (which leads me to think Gojo might be pushing his students a bit more recklessly for the sake of making them stronger). But where there are many characters, specifically adults, who have an outright desire to protect their childhood, I think it's interesting that Mai, Miwa and Nishimoto are doing all they can to hang onto whatever sense of girlhood they can muster. It makes them catty and they seem to espouse some misogynistic ideals of what girls should look like and be but the basis of it is still desperately grasping at something that keeps them soft in the face of terror which, in their own mind, is probably a rebellion to what they know. That and, I think Mai is hyper aware of her weakness. That coupled with her dissatisfaction as a sorcerer ultimately later guides her steps in the resolution of her character arc.

Hypothesis: There's a Reason Gojo is Always Pondering the Figures and Politics of Periods Long Gone

I frequently question what goes on in the mind of Satoru Gojo. He has, for all intents and purposes, all the time in the world to process and compute all the mysteries of the universe. Instead, he asks his coworkers about whether they're caught up on Jump Comics at bars. He's so unserious. But at the same time, he'll immediately follow this silliness with a deep cut like -

"Our precious present rests atop the deeds of our forebears." - Gojo Satoru

He absolutely gets clowned for his random pop culture references and, any time he calls upon a historical reference (of which he seems to be really knowledgeable about), it seems shocking to most of those around him (Shoko notwithstanding). The girls who get it know that Gojo is just as traumatized as Geto. He's just traumatized ✨🤪 where Geto is traumatized 🔪. So this veneer of goofiness belies what is ultimately a really contemplative person and one who holds a clear grievance against jujutsu elders. We know that Gojo telling Megumi about their ancestors locked in battle is obviously something that becomes a critical plot point later (hello, Sukuna showdown which we're not getting into here). It told Megumi he could have power that rivals Gojo's but it was also critical exposition for us as readers. We've also seen that Yuta, a distant, distant Gojo relative is similarly OP and this was established by his ancient connection to Gojo as well. Again, critical exposition into how things fall together when Gojo is no longer on the board. But what I'm hypothesizing is... suppose Gojo had tangential knowledge of Kenjaku this whole time? Kenjaku was clearly wary of Gojo, for good reason, but was Gojo already aware of the existence of the body snatcher? What a reveal that would be.

Hypothesis: There Are Bad Match-Ups But The Best Way To Beat a Cursed User Is With A Stronger Version Of Their Own Technique

So this isn't a comprehensive hypothesis since I know it's only half true. Por ejemplo, in the first two stories Inumaki fought a cursed speech user and Mechamaru fought a shikigami user. The victorious combatants happened to have stronger versions of the shared technique (and maybe a strategic edge). This, of course, lends to the idea that the resolution to this story may lay in the hands of Yuta Okkotsu. Okkotsu can summon immeasurable cursed energy and copy techniques. Who's gonna check him? BUT, in reality, we also know that there are also, canonically bad matchups. For instance, Yuji and Nobara are bad matchups for Mahito - Yuji's soul is protected in a sense and Nobara's technique allows her to strike spilled blood or discarded limbs/extensions of one's body to injure the main body.

We know Sukuna, at this point, is the big bad that will require taking down but we don't know how at this point. Nobara would of course be helpful given the still outstanding fingers but is tentatively off the board for now (this is a hill I will die on). But, are there other allies who haven't been revealed that will help in taking Sukuna down or will it all come down to Yuta? At this point, Gege wrote themselves into a box they are trying to course correct with the in universe power scale but I'm curious how things will fall.

What do you think? There's a fifth story that is super heartwarming and too sad to write about given the conclusion of season 2 so go read the novel for yourself and let me know your thoughts!

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E13 Reaction

- Ooooh, Tantiss has light on it again for the first time since the beginning of the season 👀 that is hopeful. Omega’s presence is bringing light back to this desolate place

- We haven’t seen male scientists before have we?

- Scrunchy nose and scowly eyebrows. Baby girl is in full blown revenge mode 😎

- I have to point out that every time a tv show has characters be given perfectly fitting outfits in a new environment (especially something like a prison) it cracks me up to no end. There’s no way Omega and Bayrn sized prison jumpsuits were just laying around somewhere.

- Omega has grown SO MUCH 😭 physically, emotionally, rationally. At the start of this season she made that doll to keep herself sane and now she knows that she doesn’t even need to mention that fact to Eva. She is so confident and focused in her mission and in showing up as a leader and example for these kids. I’m so freaking proud of her

- And to juxtapose that with Bora Vio, where Omega was captured by Cad Bane and confronted by Fennec about her fears of becoming an experiment in a test tube—AND where she got herself out and where the boys could pick her up. Chefs kiss

- Echo!! I love their brotherly handshakes

- Hunter and Echo are not playing around sassing Rampart around lol.

- This shuttle looks very similar to the one Crosshair and Omega escaped in at the beginning of the season

- Why does Crosshair’s “yes” sound like someone screwed up on the sound mixing side? It’s so weirdly quiet and whispery

- The little tappy taps on the uniform and “I can’t wear this” “you’ve been demoted” I’m DYING 💀

- The grid layout of these prison cells reminds me of the Box episodes in TCW where Obi-Wan becomes Rako Hardeen

- Scalder is definitely trouble

- Yeah Emerie stand up for yourself and the kids!

- These kids voices 😭

- And Omega’s voice 😏 allll her training is paying off

- They stripped their armor 😭😭😭😭 all of their individuality and expressiveness gone. I do not like this

- Alright, I can see why the hair and beard trim is driving everyone wild, but it’s still not for me 😆. The bitchiness is endlessly entertaining though

- Okay this is now infinitely nerve-wracking

- Hunter putting his hand on Rampart’s shoulder and him immediately wiping it off is so hilarious 🤣. I think there is a modicum of respect that is established here though. Hunter is warning him but also giving him the clone sign of respect with the shoulder grasp. Rampart is still fastidious with his uniform but begrudgingly admits that he’s in on this mission even if it’s because he has no other choice, letting them know that he will handle himself properly.

- It’s interesting that many of the imperials this season have had beards. Last season most of them were blond and clean shaven, and now they’re dark haired and bearded. Coincidence? Trying to reuse facial models? An extra cold winter and Tarkin didn’t get his hands on the dress code protocols? 🤷🏻‍♀️

- I LOVE when the Empire is just flaunting one’s rank and bring an asshole to get things done. It works every time

- “I’ve missed this” 🤣 honestly it’s too bad Rampart isn’t willingly on the right side bc he would be steadily becoming hotter if he was

- Surely Echo appreciated the regulation drop 😅

- Ruh roh. Does no imperial ever see the “invite you into the ship and then hit you in the back of the head” thing coming??

- Echo’s always “working on” encryptions

- They’re going to have to go straight there?? 😱

- I have to say, I do feel for Rampart here. He genuinely didn’t sign up for this. Neither did the rest of them really but they don’t have a choice.

- “Wonderful. We’re all going to die” pls no 😭😭

- At no point did I ever worry that Rampart was going to give them up though. He might be pissed but he knows he’ll be sent directly back to prison if anyone in the empire recognizes him. He was sentenced by Palpatine himself. There’s no coming back from that. Whatever he chooses to do going forward, I think he knows it will have to be something he carves out himself, and trying to betray the Batch won’t help him at all in that process. Hopefully this remains true for the rest of the episodes.

- These overhead shots are insanely beautiful

- Bayrn is just a baby 🥺

- The perfect amount of suspense 😱 and Omega knows how to sound perfectly innocent

- Dr. Scalder is feeling like Nurse Ratched right now 👀

- “Our way out” “One way out” aghhhh let’s go!!

- And we get another “Echo is the baddest badass ARC Trooper ever” sequence and I LOVE it

- The droid chute lowers for the little mouse droid 🤣 adorable

- Echo 🤝 Omega doing what they need to do in the nick of time

- Wrecker wearing the tiny hat I can’t 😂😂😂

- Cue the hyperventilating

- This is so nerve-wracking

- Omg if Echo had gone out that way 😭

- “Negative” SIR 🥵 🥵 🥵

- In the last possible second!! The very warranted trust they have in Echo after all they’ve been through! Rampart’s quite reasonable fears and yet their crazy plan working as the Bad Batch does! And Crosshair catching Rampart so he doesn’t fall even though he doesn’t have to!

- I was officially white-knuckled by the end of this episode 😱💀

- Can we take a minute to appreciate Hunter’s leadership and piloting skills here? His choice to make this jump is insanely brave, his ability to fly has been proven to be capable and daring when needed, and his calm, proactive decision making that has largely been missing since their military days is back in full force. He’s on a mission and he’s not stopping until he gets his girl back for good.

[remembertheplunge]

Only 5 days left in the 1980s

December 26, 1989. Tuesday. Espresso Cafe, Modesto, California

So, only five days left to “feel” the 80’s.  Who om I now? For once out on the great “see” of the 90’s, which will rush more and more quickly toward the raging head waters of the next century, our little peace pool of time here will be long gone. It’s chance for seeing through compulsion is lost. So, as in place, sometimes in time we find ourselves at the crossroads .  So, what do ya do with it? You back off from the bigger, major world to allow that calling to come through. Which is what I’m doing today. So, what am I after these crazy 80’s? Well, really and truly, what I am is simply truer, deeper version of what I was.

I held many mirrors up to my face  in the 80’s in dark rooms so I could see—

The mirror of marriage, of private law practice, of 3rd year law student, of the bar exam, of new attorney, , of law firm attorney, of public defender

In a mirror, one sees what one is and what one is not.

 The image of the money seeker did not appear, nor did that of the loving partner and father, nor did that of the well dressed beauty or of the world traveler. All of these came up, filtered in and melted away in the heat of their own reflection. In times like today, I hold the mirror up to see these images gone or greatly reduced.

And, who looks back?

Me.

Who was looking out on 12/31/1979? And who, after all these years, is still looking out?

A lover of life. A lover of active tear paper art. A lover of deep fault line need to be, to know,. A lover of great pain juxtaposed to great beauty. A lover of fight for truth in his own way. Through the courts in word, deed, action. Through holding melting hands and whispy hearts that form solid images, more solid than any flesh and blood.

I see a sweet repository of the now brittle yet fragrant petals of flowers once full, now withered.

I apply my fire time and time again and am rewarded with a fragrance bittersweet that won’t die but enhances all life it touches.

I see a clearer image of the healing power of the word

”no”. 

I see guts, and bravado and gaudy humor and touch of Devine scarlet self pity.

I see an expanding of the love of the pause—of the listen. 

I see others, too, in the mirror.

 Not so much in a line, like in ’79 or invisible,but, more in a circle all with darks and lights that interlock or don’t here and there but form a union and unity just the same..

And, ya know, I truly believe that there ain’t much I gotta do. I t just lives itself through me. Guess I just got to ease up  and let it live, laugh, dance, cry, scream, be , create, waltz through me!

End of entry

Notes: 6/3/2024

In the 1980’s I married a woman, woke up to the fact I was gay, left the marriage before we had children. I worked with people with Aids and helped them through their illness and death through an organization called Han to Hand and another called the Stanislaus County Aids Project. I wrote in coffee house like Espresso Cafe and I journaled through the entire decade. 

[eclipsecrowned]

Ship bias for GALE // anonymous

Gale/Karlach. I believe the exact trajectory of my shipping this was me and Ax seeing what intermuse ships might work, thinking it'd be interesting for the two walking time bombs to try and navigate a relationship and to see how Gale would try to outsmart her physical limitations -- And then we blacked out and woke up surrounded by lore for the next few decades in-universe. But that's the free space in bingo, shipping with Ax. Went in-game. Gale says he can be 'smooth enough for two' when he meets Karlach and I blacked out again. I'm never recovering from these two. The fleeting flicker of their lives, raging against the dying of the light. The juxtaposing aesthetics of jacked girlboss and plush malewife. How they only need more time. How this can end in either tragedy or triumph with no middle ground for them. It kills me this is as near as I can tell a rarepair.

Bloodweave. I love the cat and mouse of Gale trying to get to the bottom of Astarion in Act 1 only to realize he keeps getting closer and closer to bedrock. Both so clearly struggling with self-worth and being 'enough' for someone else. Gale who wants something real off of Astarion manipulating whoever romances him from day one. Just the hilarity of Gale refusing to play into his dramatics and Astarion getting slowly more hissy about it. Besides, my boy loves cats, and Astarion is just a feral cat who needs some domesticating -- and therapy. So much therapy. Also, catch me with that narrative foil of both seeking to ascend, to become something more, to become something worthy and never having to worry again, never realizing it will be their ruination.

Gale/Halsin. Listen I just think they both need a soft place to land after everything they've been through. I enjoy the parallel of them both being their god's special guy -- Gale for the worse with Mystra and how he was used, and Halsin being strengthened for his oaths to Silvanus. Also I think their personal lives would be interesting, given Gale is so modest he made Tara leave the room if he was changing and other characters noting Halsin might outlaw clothing if he was capable. There's some interesting compare/contrast between them that I'd like to dive into regarding both their larger and personal lore. The fact they are both huge brained nerds and that Halsin would patiently endure Gale's 'Um Actually' infodump of the hour and provide feedback/engagement just sweetens the deal for me. The tism4tism Old Man Yaoi I can believe in.

Gale/Mal. Yes I am including my ship with @umbralined's oc. And you will like it. The way Gale gets manhandled and challenged by this tiefling with a horrible attitude. The way his magical theory falls on deaf ears. The way Mal makes him reframe the world and society and a hundred other things that frankly were beyond his notice. Also he deserves to be topped as only Mal can top him. There's some interesting give and take in this dynamic that I think can really help propel Gale forward, and also maybe be... if not a positive influence, than at least an influence on Mal.

Gale/Raphael. Listen. God Gale said 'once more with feeling' and got so deep under Raphael's skin that I never fully recovered. The way they're both playing with ambition and tipping the scales. The way Gale would so easily fall prey to Raphael in the right set of circumstances. I've never fully played with this one but the concept gnaws at me, for better or for worse.

[misscammiedawn]

Signed up to the library streaming site and put in London (1994). It's a documentary where the narrator returns to tumultuous London after being absent for 7 years. I'd seen a clip or two on but never the whole thing. It's pretty much 80 odd minutes of footage from day-to-day life in the city I grew up in during the time I grew up.

Fact is when we visited again in 2018 it weren't the same. Not really. The old shit's still old but the vibe is off. It ain't home anymore. The past is a country I can't hop a plane to and have a holiday in. A topic that funny enough the docu actually goes over with its own subject's memories of places which are no longer in the city when it was recorded.

I reckon London's just like that, though? Something about the ancient history of a city that has been alive so long you can still feel its pulse and the new and old mingle so seamlessly that it haunts you with its familiarity juxtaposed with its strangeness. Like an old friend you've not seen for decades. The voice has changed, the way they carry themselves is different, the light in the eyes ain't the same but the eyes themselves are. Eff knows I know that well. I grew up noting the scar tissue of The Blitz, still apparent in where history was wiped out in an explosion and you see Edwardian structures and modern chic glass monoliths protruding like new growth in an ancient specimen.

Makes me feel even more of an expat to know the London I grew up in only exists in film. For better or worse I grew up a stones throw from "Cardboard City" the homeless settlement which is now home to the UK's biggest IMAX. My home was within the grimey nostalgia of a piss soaked graffiti stained city. It was just second nature-- as was the constant threat of IRA bombs.

I don't think I miss the messy old piss and cigarettes of the town I grew up in. Not really. But I identify with it. Call it home.

I think London just has that effect on people.

I don't glorify that shit. Na, on the contrary, I recognize it was a small hell that's been sanitized as best it could be. But I feel at home with the imperfections. It's kinda making me a tad homesick, y'know?

To take a touch to actually sit with that and kind of think about why this docu catches bits of the place in my memory that I can't see even walking down those same streets I wanted to go through the film and take a couple screenshots of places I'd been to in my childhood that show up and show them in the film versus how they look on Google Street Maps today. See that vibe change I mentioned.

Movie on the left, Google on the right.

Vauxhall Park

Brixton Market

Spitalfields Market

Elephant and Castle

and ...Fuck...

I had no idea they took down The Elephant. This is legit how I'm finding out about it. I clicked about to see when it happened and get a shot with the elephant statue to prove it was the right spot. Here's an image from 2020 with the shopping centre and statue still standing.

My memory is in locations. I close my eyes and I see places. That damned area is always with me. I can still see the giant billboard for 1994's The Mask next to the old swimming pool that used to be there. I remember before I even left England seeing a social media post about the frog slide being tossed in a skip and people of the area mourning a childhood memory.

Guess it all has to go in the end. Elephant just got wrecked. First with the big bougie flats then the Heygate Estate getting taken down and I guess the old shopping centre's gone too, ey?

And so it goes.

But yeah, the photography in the film was gorgeous and caught a slither of a world condemned to the past. To quote the movie "There is no town in the world which is more adapted for training one away from people and training one into solitude than London." She raised me and part of me will always be there, wandering the halls of the Elephant and Castle Shopping Centre; a place that can only possibly exist in memories.

Anyway-- that's a big ole wander down memory lane. I love my city. One day I'll see her again.

[freakingoutthesquares]

Preaching From The Pulpit Words: Roy Wilkinson, Photographer: Karl Lang Taken from Sounds, 27 June 1987 Transcript: Acrylic Afternoons

Sheffield popsters Pulp are creating a haunting music which is virtually without peer in the Britain of 1987. We meet them on the eve of the release of their new LP 'Freaks'.

The album's called 'Freaks', for as the opening line proclaims, "Nature sometimes makes mistakes". There they are over there, and if you must avert your eyes, don't cover your ears because Pulp have a qualification for you. "These freaks we're talking about, they're just normal people gone a bit wrong. It's sad but don't bother crying: they still eat and drink and watch TV just like anyone else. And they smoke."

The freaks who populate this record's "ten stories about power, claustrophobia, suffocation and holding hands" are resolutely ordinary, characters you're far more likely to see through the front room windows than down at the fairground. In fact, far from being Pulp fictions, these blighted souls are very real: a lot of them play in the band, and if that sounds funny then that's alright, because Pulp are comic band. I know this because their singer and lyricist Jarvis Cocker told me: "A lot of our songs deal with fairly mundane things which are a bit over dramatised - it's a bit like a comic."

As well as being a bit like a comic, Pulp are a bit like a mixture of slapstick comedy and some understated macabre novels. I know this because I read it in a magazine. Then again, you should never believe what you read and in the light of Jarvis' claim that his namesake Joe once installed a gas fire at his house, it's difficult to know whether to believe him. The one thing you can safely say about Pulp is that they are out on a limb, one that may or may not be reconnected to a body with seven more and two heads.

Pulp are a Sheffield band and 'Freaks' is their second album, following 1983's long forgotten 'It' and a handful of singles, and houses their current 45, 'Master Of The Universe'. Pulp's core of Cocker and violinist/guitarist Russell Senior are creating a haunting music which is virtually without peer in the Britain of 1987, their nearest relatives being The Band Of Holy Joy. The similarities come with the way both have fostered a host of neglected styles (waltzes to crooning balladry), transmuted mundanity into a grotesque, projected an overriding mood of melancholy and drawn on a wealth of literary references.

Pulp have been compared to anything from Brecht to author Ian McEwan to Mills & Boon. Along with books they've been juxtaposed with buffoons, a pre-AIDS epidemic of jesters that includes Leslie Crowther, Peter Glaze and Charles Hawtrey. It's a curse the band have mixed feelings about. Jarvis: "All those references make us seem a bit contrived when hopefully it's quite raw, getting at emotional nerve endings. It's not as if we go, 'let's do a song about the latest novel we've read'. I don't mind people comparing us to Ian McEwan because I like his stuff (psycho sex dramas) but when someone says Charles Hawtrey (Carry On's bespectacled, ineffectual butt), you don't think 'cheers pal!'." Russell: "In Sheffield we get more 16-year-old kids at our concerts than we do post graduates in Cabaret Voltaire studies."

Pulp songs are direct, stripping emotions down to a naked unsightliness and then coating them with a pervading sense of gloom. "I've never been a very carefree adolescent," says Jarvis. "I wouldn't go out with me if I were you. All those types of songs are basically about one girl who I went out with and unfortunately it went from being quite an innocent thing to being a very traumatic thing without either of us knowing why. The freaks thing is like getting divorced from the rest of the world through something like that relationship. The other reason we called it 'Freaks' was because we always get called freaks, the escape party from One Flew Over A Cuckoo's Nest, stuff like that. When we play live, everybody dwells on the fact that I'm thin with specs, he (Russell) looks like Count Dracula, Candida (keyboards) although she's 23 looks 14, while Pete (Bass) looks like a football hooligan. We were always getting called freaks so we thought let's call the LP 'Freaks' just to... put two fingers up."

As far as Jarvis is concerned he's not an eccentric. Throughout our conversation he maintained a slightly resigned blank faced jocularity but keeps his speech prosaically direct, miles away from the contrivance that Pulp's press might lead you to expect of this 23-year-old with his long limbs and disgusting brown crimplene 'slacks' which terminate six inches short of his ankles: as does Russell, a slight man of 26 with a ghastly pallor and a down at heel clerkish air.

Nonetheless this pair's conversation does dispel a lot of Pulpish preconceptions. It does, that is, until you ask them what they do in their spare time. It seems that this pair have a sideline which is Dickensian enough to fit in with their public image. Get down on that Davenport for these two Arthur Negus' of rock are heavily into... antiques. "Antiques Roadshow is our favourite programme," says Russell. "Our ambition is to see one of our records on there. If you want any 50's art deco then Jarvis is your man. I like Italian 17th century paintings but I haven't been able to get hold of anything yet. That's what I'd eventually like to deal in because I like beautiful things. At the moment I can only afford ugly things."

Frustrated sensualists priced outside paradise, that's Pulp for you.

[simplyender]

Hi there! I'm the creator and host of Mechanukkah, and I'll be taking the wheel from the ever-beloved @j4gm to review the last two movies of this years event, so, without further ado...

Mechanukkah night 8 (Part 1): The Mitchells VS The Machines

[Pictured: The Mitchells dog, Monchi, a fat pug, sitting on a kitchen floor with a latke edited on to his head. His eyes are facing in opposite directions, and his tongue is hanging out of his mouth.]

Night 8 of my Chanukkah robot movie watch party! Full stops: This is my favorite movie ever. Don't expect a fair review. Fun fact: we pick the movies we watch each year through a vote, and if TMVTM wasn't picked before night 8 i was going to rig the poll to make it the only option available If you haven't seen The Mitchells VS The Machines yet, then WHAT ARE YOU DOING????? GO WATCH IT NOW!! This movie is a total spectacle of animation, endless treats for the eyes with hundreds of background details for you to notice every time you rewatch(I should know, I've seen the movie around 18 times at this point, and I STILL find new things in it!), they even invented a bunch of new animation tools for the movie, resulting in it very rightfully earning several awards for animation that year. That's how good it is. Mitchells Sweep, Babey! It actually lost the Oscars to Encanto but that doesn't count. The only issue I can see with the animation is the abundance of flashing lights, most notably around the beginning of the movie, where the robots begin their uprising. Luckily, Netflix has a warning for it, but just a heads-up, this movie is not epilepsy-friendly.

The Mitchells VS The Machines is a movie which takes place in an alternate version of 2020, with a much more preferable disaster in the form of a machine uprising, juxtaposed with a story about a strained relationship between a father and daughter, those being Katie Mitchell, the quirky, explicitly gay film student(Those are basically the same thing, I say as a canonically gay editor), and her dad, Rick Mitchell(The Daddest Dad to ever Dad), a tech-illiterate outdoorsman. Their main sources of conflict comes from Ricks issues with really...Understanding Katie and her interests, and his fear that she won't be able to make a living off of creating films (He's cool with her being a Lesbian though, so he gets a Good Dad Point for that). He essentially projects the pain of his own failure to make his dream come true in the past on to her, as he doesn't want her to get hurt like he did. Meanwhile, Katie just...Can't understand her dad in general, his failure to communicate resulting in her thinking that he just assumes that no matter what, she's just going to fail, expanding the rift between them. Katie get into a college to learn film making, and she is VERY excited to leave home, potentially forever, but on the night before her departure, she enters an argument with her dad, which ends in her laptop accidentally being broken. Ricks wife, the loving, supportive, and totally badass Linda, actually talk to eachother like a functional couple, and she convinces him to try to fix his relationship with Katie before he pushes her away forever. Unfortunately, this results in Rick making the reckless decision to...Cancel her flight ticket to college so that they can go on a "fun" family road trip from their home in Michigan to California. Katie is reasonably, not happy about this, but her mom manages to convince her to "meet her dad halfway", and she actually does manage to have some fun. Even though...Yeah, what Rick did was kind of shitty.

Something that does help this fact though is that the movie makes sure to show both sides of the argument, clarifying time and time again that Rick loves Katie, even if he doesn't get her. Which makes it all the more rewarding as we see them getting closer throughout the movie, culminating in Rick learning to "speak Katies language" and entirely support her ambitions, while Katie comes to understand her dads perspective, mending their relationship like the daddy-issues-wish-fulfillment this movie truly is.

All in all, this movie does an excellent job with family dynamics, featuring groundbreaking concepts such as siblings in a piece of media actually liking eachother, and a dad learning to understand his daughter and support her through and through, and everybody, and I mean everybody in the family displaying traits of being on the autism spectrum, most notably Katies 8 year old brother, Aaron, and his special interest in dinosaurs, which is not only never mocked in the movie, but outright encouraged by the entire family, which is actually one of the things that kicks off their world-saving crusade towards Silicon Valley by bringing them to a dinosaur themed truck stop where they avoid getting captured by the robots, who plan on shoving every single human being into 7 rockets across the globe so that they can all be sent to space, where they're probably gonna die(but hey, at least they've got free wifi). This, and the familys general dysfunction also results in them meeting two malfunctioning robots, who I'm sure many would argue are the real stars of the film, Eric and Deborahbot5000, and they end up getting adopted into the family. Yay!

One of the greatest merits of this movie, in my opinion, is how it manages to avoid the "HURR DURR TECHNOLOGY BAD" message that a lot of movies with these types of concepts tend to display, instead presenting a nuanced take on how it can be used for good and bad, and that, ultimately, theres nothing wrong with technology, just how it's used. An example of such being how Katie uses it to make friends and create awesome videos(Good), and how Rick learns to use it to connect to his daughter(Good! He also manages to humanize the two bot bros like...Immediately.) Meanwhile, Pal Labs, a megacorporation, uses it to steal peoples information (bad), and create a hyper-intelligent AI that can experience the trauma of being betrayed by what is essentially her father figure, which makes her snap and start that whole "Genocide and world domination" thing(Very bad). I think that something Western movies tend to do is promote this idea that you have to do everything alone, that real success comes from individuality, while TMVTM argues the point that what really matters is working together, and finding people you can be weird with, which is a really charming message.

So I guess overall, the messages of this movie can be summarized as: Technology Good, Corporations Bad. Working Together Good. Being weird, also good. Family good. Pugs are abominations, and adopting robots is excellent and may even save your life from a giant murderous furby! Also the soundtrack was done by Mark Mothersbaugh, lead singer of DEVO. He actually got away with naming one of the tracks for the movie "Linda Kicks Ass", which is obviously a banger. The entire soundtrack is, TBH.

God I love DEVO and The Mitchells VS The Machines. I love them so so much. Mechanukkah word of the day: Cinema!

[part 2]

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED: DON'T SLEEP OUT IN THE COLD ON THIS ARTIST AND CATCH "FROSTBITE"

Reviewed by: Lyssa Culbertson

Now, I’ll be the first to say I don’t know a lot about much of anything; however, fortunately for all y’all, I do know a little about some things…and quality music is one of those things! So, "listen up" when I say the following name because it’s imperative our readers are hip to it:

Jake. Kohn.

That’s a name you’ll want to remember.

Why? Because not only is he a distinctive, kind soul and force of nature in his own right, but he just also happens to be insanely talented. 

And trust me—despite the initial focus of many when they first discover Kohn and his work, it’s not because of his remarkable age juxtaposed with the sheer talent he possesses, which although notable, is certainly not his most definable feature. As a matter of fact, let’s take it off the table completely and merely focus on the nitty gritty of his artistry.

It’s not even because of the depth behind his soulfully, raspy voice seemingly tinged with years of strife and heartache or his obvious songwriting prowess that presents as if he’s been writing and living out his story for decades.

Arguably, it’s because he’s one of the few fresh faces on the scene that has what we see as the total package, including the gumption to stay true to himself by reveling in his uniqueness and doing what works for him—and it’s certainly working, which makes it even harder to believe that he’s only been on his journey a little over five years as an independent artist...or playing music at all!

Coming hot off the heels of his Grand Ole Opry debut and signing a deal with Atlantic Records, Kohn recently released his debut single with the label, entitled “Frostbite.” When I first listened to the tune, I was immediately immersed into the lyrical portraiture Kohn was painting as he sang—I felt every emotion from the desolate nature of being alone to the pain from the bone chilling cold. The numbness went straight to my core and as I ruminated on memories it triggered, I became the character, lost in the snow on a lonely road searching for some light amongst the darkness that was just out of my reach. To me, that is the mark of a true artist. Even if you’re undetermined as to if they’ve actually lived the words they sing, if they can make you feel it…man. That gift is worth a thousand words! Good music transcends time and space and Kohn's old soul does just that as it shines through his writing.

The single reads like the story of a man literally trudging through the frigid winter's night as he navigates some hard times, reaching out to ones he loves for some semblance of emotional shelter just to meet a proverbial cold shoulder, yet the song can also be taken symbolically to represent the internal cold that one may face mentally as they are lost in the dark of their own minds, unable to move forward past whatever memories keep them frozen in time and place. Kohn's gritty vocals lend well to the theme—how a voice can be so raw yet melodically haunting positively beguiles me. The emotion he packs in his vocals seems almost effortless, as if he's felt every ounce of pain he sings about. One thing is for sure, if Kohn is unable to affect you with his songwriting, he will surely touch you with his performance! Odds are though, listeners will be as spellbound as we were when we first heard him. Give the single a listen…despite its chill-inducing title, Kohn’s voice is akin to bourbon-soaked redemption—even though it will make you feel to the depth of your core, what you hear will warm you up to the exemplary artist Kohn is.

Backed by the support of his loving family and driven manager Ashley Wells, as well as a growing legion of adoring fans, Kohn is surely going do big things in the world of music. Tune in to what he's doing now and don’t miss his journey—trust me. When I first saw him live on a small pallet-built stage on the back end of a golf course in a small town in Georgia on a run opening for the equally stellar Red Clay Strays, I was positively gobsmacked by what I heard—and he definitely caught the attention of the audience surrounding him. Sure, the videos that made the viral rounds on social media earlier this year were great and spoke volumes about his musicianship; however, hearing him up close and live was a different ethereal experience all together. If you love music that marches to its own beat that is full of grit and passion, catch Jake Kohn on the smaller, intimate stages while you can. You won't be sorry!

Watch Jake Kohn's performance of "Frostbite" below:

[livgr3]

An Viewing Response

"In these moments, An is essentially a shrine to ‘slow food’, to time-won wisdoms, and to the traditions being lost to today’s hyper-capitalist, factory-model food industry" (Carew 50).

Naomi Kawase's An was an incredibly beautiful and uniquely immersive film, one that I really loved and haven't been able to shake from my mind since we viewed it. Even before its tear-jerker ending, I was struck by the film's dreamy cherry blossoms, its recognizably human characters, the prolonged, ASMR-like displays of cooking and baking.

Carew describes this talent of Kawase's as a "distinctly feminine" one, and, though I have yet to see the filmmaker's other works, I felt that this description really resonated with my perception of the film. But first, what exactly defines a "feminine" style of filmmaking? Is it a focus on women's stories and issues? Is it particularly emotionally-driven? Must it appeal primarily to a women audience? It is hard to define this description without falling back upon the constructed gender binary, but I feel that Kawase's An is "feminine" simply due to the fact that it provides a perspective on particular cultural norms that is alternative or subversive to the mainstream representations of them. In this film, I find that it is the normative attitudes towards food and the cultural practice of "respecting" elders or authority that Kawase challenges through her beautifully written characters.

As Carew highlights in the quote above, An connects food with its rich history and tradition. As generations change and pass by, so do practices of cooking and sharing food. Kawase seems to mourn the inevitable loss of food-based traditions with clever contrasts. For instance, the chattering girls in Sentaro's shop take for granted the treats they are given, juxtaposed by Wakana's appreciation even for the dorayaki that Sentaro deems insufficient to sell to customers. The tin of bulk bean paste that Sentaro haphazardly moves throughout his shop contrasts to the careful and incredibly slow process of making the same ingredient taught to him by Tokue. The slow pacing and specific, seemingly minute details provided to Sentaro and us, the viewer, during this recipe sequence create a reflective space, one that allows us to pull back and consider the history of the food we so ignorantly consume.

This bean paste-making scene also brought to light another theme at the heart of this film: the practice of respect in Japanese culture. In the dynamic and eventual friendship between Tokue and Sentaro, an elder and a boss, Kawase interrogates who should bear more respect and submission to whom, ultimately suggesting that respect is a matter of time, love, and care, rather than a practice of respectful language without considering its meaning or impact. Tokue directly addresses her boss's subconscious use of respectful language. While making bean paste, Sentaro offhandedly says things like "I'm sorry," causing Tokue to outright ask for what or why he is apologizing.

I read that Tokue's simple responses to Sentaro's automatic language reflect the mistreatment she has received throughout her life for her condition. Through showing, rather than telling, Kawase uses Tokue's past and present treatment to reveal a dark side to a society that emphasizes respecting one's elders. I find that Tokue's appreciation for nature, as if natural entities possess human feelings and histories, is also a remarkably beautiful reaction to her outcast position. After so many years of mistreatment and isolation, its as if Tokue realized the love and care she lacked from other humans existed already within the world around her.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Get Out

My kid brother posted this meme on Facebook stating that the best games from the PS2 era were Resident Evil 4 (Which, f*ck no, that port was trash!), Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and Need For Speed: Underground 2. Personally, i disagree. My list would be Persona 3 Fes, NBA Street vol. 2, and Tekken 5, in that order, with Grand Theft Auto: Vice City coming in at a close fourth place. Why isn't San Andreas on that list? Because i f*cking hate it. Now, don't misunderstand me, as a game, it's unassailable and deserves all of the shine it gets. Mechanically, what Rock Star was able to do with that title, pushing the PS2 to it's absolute limits in order to develop a true classic of the genre, is definitely worth mentioning. I give them full marks for that. No, my beef is with the actual content of the game. The very idea of San Andreas is offensive to me, and the fact that it's so popular only compounds that ire. That's my life. I was the black kid who grew up in the ghetto during the Nineties. That's a lived experience for me and, even though it's a game with made up scenarios that go way over the top towards the end, it still felt like disrespect. Rockstar made light of all that violent sh*t, all of those horrible experiences I endured at an age where I should have only been concerned about toys and cooties, and sold it. That sh*t wasn't fun. It wasn't a game. I ad two guns pulled on me before I made it to the sixth grade. The firs time a cop saw me as a threat, I was four years old. I've been to three separate house parties that have been aired out. That means shot up for those of you who aren't from where I'm from. When you're in it, its life. It's every day sh*t. When I got out of it, when I survived my statistical death and/or incarceration, looking back on all that sh*t, it was f*cked up. It shouldn't be a goddamn video game. I know people who weren't fast enough to get out of those parties. I know people who were in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and cat a wayward bullet. That sh*t isn't something i can just “turn off” and walk away from. I carry those experiences with me everywhere. They informed my entire life, for better or worse, so to see a goddamn video game portray them to the masses with suck flippancy, is f*cking infuriating.

San Andreas wasn't a loving satire like Friday or an introspection like Boyz n the Hood. It felt like the Rockstar developers just watched a bunch of hood films and made one themselves. It felt like a bunch of white boys watched Menace II Society and said, "I want to do that." So they did. And then it got worse. San Andreas got so big because suburban white kids made it that way. I'm not one to hoard my culture from anyone. Black people make dope sh*t. From music, to fashion, to food; Out culture is f*cking dope. Literally, when people say anything about “American” culture, it's almost all black. We created Blues. We created Rock n Roll. We created Rap and Hip Hop. We made Nike a thing. Friends exists because Living Single f*cking killed. The CW exists today because we, as black people, supported them for years in the ratings. Same with Fox. Blackness, black people, are the backbone of everything “American” and we have to survive in a country that fetishizes our struggle, but hates us for that struggle. “Everybody wanna be a n*gga, but don't nobody wanna be a n*gga.” Paul Mooney, rest in peace, was speaking truth to power with that statement and San Andreas is the physical manifestation of that sentiment. Much like everything we produce, white people co-opted it and decided to make it their own. My lived experience was turned into a goddamn video game for white, suburban, consumption and, just like my music, they took that sh*t and ran. Motherf*ckers made that sh*t the best selling game on the PS2. Think about that; San Andreas sold MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of copies, topping all-time best selling charts because of white dollars. Now juxtapose that against the content of said game and tell me I'm talking out my ass.. San Andreas sold so well so non-black kids could detach themselves from the reality of that life, and safely cosplay as poor black kids from the hood. If games are a form of wish fulfillment and escapism, then these privileged white kids were making light of me entire goddamn life! Pretending to be a gang-banging gangster was a game to them. Running from strays was fun for them. Moving drugs and getting caused by cops was this make believe life they could just save and walk away from when they were finished. How is that not wildly f*cked up? It's super weird to me more black folks don't take issue with that. I'm not saying San Andreas is racist or that you're a bigot for enjoying it, I'm saying the game, itself, is problematic as f*ck and if we're looking back to hold ourselves accountable, I feel like this thing should really be addressed as well.

[smokeybrand]

Get Out

My kid brother posted this meme on Facebook stating that the best games from the PS2 era were Resident Evil 4 (Which, f*ck no, that port was trash!), Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and Need For Speed: Underground 2. Personally, i disagree. My list would be Persona 3 Fes, NBA Street vol. 2, and Tekken 5, in that order, with Grand Theft Auto: Vice City coming in at a close fourth place. Why isn't San Andreas on that list? Because i f*cking hate it. Now, don't misunderstand me, as a game, it's unassailable and deserves all of the shine it gets. Mechanically, what Rock Star was able to do with that title, pushing the PS2 to it's absolute limits in order to develop a true classic of the genre, is definitely worth mentioning. I give them full marks for that. No, my beef is with the actual content of the game. The very idea of San Andreas is offensive to me, and the fact that it's so popular only compounds that ire. That's my life. I was the black kid who grew up in the ghetto during the Nineties. That's a lived experience for me and, even though it's a game with made up scenarios that go way over the top towards the end, it still felt like disrespect. Rockstar made light of all that violent sh*t, all of those horrible experiences I endured at an age where I should have only been concerned about toys and cooties, and sold it. That sh*t wasn't fun. It wasn't a game. I ad two guns pulled on me before I made it to the sixth grade. The firs time a cop saw me as a threat, I was four years old. I've been to three separate house parties that have been aired out. That means shot up for those of you who aren't from where I'm from. When you're in it, its life. It's every day sh*t. When I got out of it, when I survived my statistical death and/or incarceration, looking back on all that sh*t, it was f*cked up. It shouldn't be a goddamn video game. I know people who weren't fast enough to get out of those parties. I know people who were in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and cat a wayward bullet. That sh*t isn't something i can just “turn off” and walk away from. I carry those experiences with me everywhere. They informed my entire life, for better or worse, so to see a goddamn video game portray them to the masses with suck flippancy, is f*cking infuriating.

San Andreas wasn't a loving satire like Friday or an introspection like Boyz n the Hood. It felt like the Rockstar developers just watched a bunch of hood films and made one themselves. It felt like a bunch of white boys watched Menace II Society and said, "I want to do that." So they did. And then it got worse. San Andreas got so big because suburban white kids made it that way. I'm not one to hoard my culture from anyone. Black people make dope sh*t. From music, to fashion, to food; Out culture is f*cking dope. Literally, when people say anything about “American” culture, it's almost all black. We created Blues. We created Rock n Roll. We created Rap and Hip Hop. We made Nike a thing. Friends exists because Living Single f*cking killed. The CW exists today because we, as black people, supported them for years in the ratings. Same with Fox. Blackness, black people, are the backbone of everything “American” and we have to survive in a country that fetishizes our struggle, but hates us for that struggle. “Everybody wanna be a n*gga, but don't nobody wanna be a n*gga.” Paul Mooney, rest in peace, was speaking truth to power with that statement and San Andreas is the physical manifestation of that sentiment. Much like everything we produce, white people co-opted it and decided to make it their own. My lived experience was turned into a goddamn video game for white, suburban, consumption and, just like my music, they took that sh*t and ran. Motherf*ckers made that sh*t the best selling game on the PS2. Think about that; San Andreas sold MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of copies, topping all-time best selling charts because of white dollars. Now juxtapose that against the content of said game and tell me I'm talking out my ass.. San Andreas sold so well so non-black kids could detach themselves from the reality of that life, and safely cosplay as poor black kids from the hood. If games are a form of wish fulfillment and escapism, then these privileged white kids were making light of me entire goddamn life! Pretending to be a gang-banging gangster was a game to them. Running from strays was fun for them. Moving drugs and getting caused by cops was this make believe life they could just save and walk away from when they were finished. How is that not wildly f*cked up? It's super weird to me more black folks don't take issue with that. I'm not saying San Andreas is racist or that you're a bigot for enjoying it, I'm saying the game, itself, is problematic as f*ck and if we're looking back to hold ourselves accountable, I feel like this thing should really be addressed as well.

[two-sides-samecoin]

Top 5 Stranger Things episodes?

This is in no particular order with my preferences byw

1. Holly Jolly (season 1 episode 3) : this honestly is just an amazing and insane episode though. Like the cinematography of Joyce just trying to connect to Will with the lights. And then you have that cinematography with Holly and seeing the lights flicker in Will’s room while she doesn’t know what’s happening. Also the scene at the party where Steve and Nancy have sex juxtaposed with Barb dying. Then of course the actual boys and El with the moments that they have with one another. And then the iconic ending where the boys and El see the police/hopper drag Will’s body out of the lake. And they realize that their friend is dead (he isn’t but in that moment they see that sooo) which leads to the hugs with Joyce and Jonathan, and Mike and Karen. It’s just sooo good.

2. Dear Billy: this entire episode is just sooo good. Also I may be biased because I love the entire sequence at the end. Also this is where max tells the gang what is actually happening and going on. You have the backstory of Victor and his entire situation which just god the fucking performance in this scene is amazing. Then you have the shoot out scene at the Byers which was just done phenomenally and I fucking love that. Even the Russian part was done well and I especially loved it in this ep. Honestly I think I love this ep because the tension is done perfectly. This entire episode was just tension and tension for everyone no matter where they were. And honestly I just loved it!

3. The Spy: so I am also very biased in the fact that this is when Steve and Dustin’s bond forms. And I just love their bond because it’s sooo beautiful. And honestly there are so many layers that their bond goes through in this one episode and it’s a wonderful journey. And then of course you have the stuff in the lab that is just fucking incredible. It’s just fucking amazing and I love it so fucking much. Honestly I just love this ep and there’s so much to gush about and I don’t want to spend all the time to gush about lol

4. The Lost Sister: okay this one isn’t on everyone’s fav but honestly I fucking love this ep. Honestly it meant so much to el and her character’s development. This was the first time I believe that we got to know about other kids in the lab which honestly I loved. This was also where El got to interact with her mother and her aunt. Which that just always sent chills down my spine and the angst in those scenes. Because god it honestly just fucking hurt but I also loved it. I also loved the nuance in this episode a lot like it was just a perfect balance and I loved the nuance here. And I think the conflict that El went through this episode was way more important than a lot of other internal conflict that they had with El in this show.

5. The Battle of Starcourt: I just love the battle so much. And I think this one is the most bitter sweet for me and honestly I just loved it. Ngl I also just love them just throwing fireworks and dynamite which is just honestly I fucking love this. Honestly I just love the whole ep. It’s just sooo iconic.

This was harder than I thought lol and I honestly was gonna pick ‘the bite’ for season 3 but I only really remember loving that one scene where Robin comes out to Steve and that whole bathroom scene. So I didn’t put it on here lol.

[snacksizedgates]

Analysis Of This Byler Scene — Queer-coding, Mileven Parallels + Love Triangle

At this rate I'm gonna end up going through every Byler scene in S4 and analyzing it for queer coding lol. This one should be shorter than my other posts. Yeah scratch that nvm lol... Here we go...

So let's start chronologically:

This may be a reach but honestly, if Byler is going to be endgame, I can see the Duffer's doing tons of little things to indicate it because they love stuff like that.

Anyway, Mike walks into Will's room and closes the door. This first indicates they need privacy for whatever the subsequent scene is gonna be, meaning the scene is intimate in some way. In (good) film and tv, mostly everything in a scene is important. Down to little objects, lighting, character position, all of it.

Mike closing the door, especially to Will's room, could symbolize being in the closet. They didn't have to use that camera angle. They didn't even have to show the door or the entire room. They didn't even need to have him close the door. Yet they did. I think it's interesting.

Another thing in this scene that makes it harder to ignore is the fact that Will is right in front of an open closet. Even further, Mike sits across from Will who's in front of this open closet, in opposition to the both of them. All signs that Mike is queer, in the closet and repressing his feelings.

Mike has essentially shut/locked himself in the room (closet) with just Will, and he does this right at the beginning of an vulnerable scene between them. The open closet behind Will obviously symbolizes he is more open with his gay feelings than Mike. But, his closet is only open in the context of being locked in a room with Mike.

And this could be even more delusional but look at the dialogue. Isn't it funny that those are the lines juxtaposed with what I just described? (Visuals alluding to being in the closet)

Will is surprised that Mike packed so quickly = Mike has his gay feelings packed away, but Will does not. Will also says this while packing his bags to leave, signaling that he can pack and unpack his feelings, maybe not quickly ("you're already packed?) but he's capable of doing so.

Mike says he never really unpacked = obviously, he has not unpacked any of his gay feelings.

They didn't have to even show them packing or acknowledge Mike hasn't unpacked as it has no narrative value. They could've chose any setting for this apology, but they chose Will's room. They didn't even have to put this intimate, vulnerable scene in the show yet they did, and they chose to mention Mike never unpacking and Will being capable of unpacking and packing. I think that's why a lot of seemingly insignificant things are actually way more significant than you think; there's no point in wasting even 15 seconds of your run time on an insignificant line that gets the story (or subtext) nowhere. Basically if it doesn't develop characters or plot line, it shouldn't be there.

But yet these lines were, contrasting with the visuals I explained. Looks and sounds like subtext to me.

First I want to note that Mike has both of his hands directly on both of the respective laps. It doesn't have to automatically mean anything but this is typically something people do when they're nervous. It's called leg cleansing, it's when you rest your hands on your laps and periodically can be found rubbing your thighs. It soothes nerves so a lot of people with anxiety will be found doing this or some form of it somewhere else on their body. It's a popular piece of body language. Obviously it doesn't have to apply to everyone but they're acting so I think it's important.

Next I want to note the lighting. Notice both of them have about half of their face in the dark and half in the light. Furthermore, Will is sat with mostly his back towards Mike, which is lit up in light. His face, which he has to turn in order to talk to Mike, is dark. This may indicate that Will wants to be open with Mike but is having difficulty with that. We know Will is gay so it's easier to analyze that for him. But Mike? It's not confirmed. So let's look it at how it compares to Will's visuals. The side of his face that's dark is further away from Will. To me this suggests Mike has the opposite problem; he only feels safe with Will. As most people who believe Mike is gay know, Will is seemingly more accepting of his gayness than Mike is. Will's bigger struggle is the fact that he pines over his best friend and is scared to tell him because what if HE rejects Will. Personally I think if Will told Mike, he would be able to tell anyone else. But it's not the same with Mike. Mike fears the rest of the world judging him, not Will.

I'll admit this is definitely a stretch and obviously it's because they're using the lighting from the window. However, they could have made it so there weren't many shadows at all, for a better lit shot. But they chose not to.

Anyway, now we can start with the dialogue. In the first screencap Mike says his line "For knocking some sense into me. I was being a total self-pitying idiot."

Obviously he is referencing their previous scene where he was moping over El. The fact that he even brought this up tells me he feels embarrassed or silly in some way. That indicates he doesn't like sharing his feelings and while he was away from Will he was actively thinking about what he said. (an anxious gay he just like me fr) He cares about what Will thinks of him so much that it causes him anxiety. Would it be the same with Dustin and Lucas? Sure, if he has an anxiety disorder or something. But there's no indication of this dynamic between Mike and Dustin/Lucas, so it's safe to assume this exists solely with Will.

There's not really any reason he should feel embarrassed about telling Will how he's feeling. He didn't say anything damning and he was just sad. So I think that fact that he's kind of apologizing in a way shows he likes Will and cares about what Will thinks of him.

However, if you watch throughout the show he has a clear pattern with not being able to open up. Even since s1 in the scene with El where he's trying to ask her to the dance. So already we know he has an issue with bottling things up and overthinking. Most of the other characters share their feelings here and there and even if they don't or have a hard time with it, they often don't "apologize" for it once they have shared. Furthermore, throughout the show Will is the only one Mike has felt comfortable enough to open up or be vulnerable with, to a degree. So the fact that he still feels the need to bring it up shows he's even embarrassed with Will. This boy is so repressed. All of this is meant to parallel with the fact that he bottles up his gay feelings too.

Next we see the dialogue referencing how they can communicate silently or in code. Like "Crazy Together" -- they know what each other is implying without having to say it. In the van scene a few episodes later, they both reply "yeah" to each other, knowing they mean to say I love you. They don't have to say it. They know it. But they do want to say it, they just can't. This is why Will and Mike repeat words back to each other, it symbolizes they love each other. Mike and El, a canon romantic pairing, also repeat words back to each other. So we know that repeating words back to each other (while looking all flirty too lol) = romantic pairing.

Mike smiles very big with his lips closed at Will and then chuckles. Will lingers on him for a moment but quickly turns his head. He doesn't think Mike likes him back, obviously, and he feels embarrassed because Mike's smile is making him crush.

But the most interesting part to me is that Will turns around and we go back to Mike who is cheesing hard, teeth an all. This isn't (only?) flirtatious, he's happy. Either he started cheesing when Will was looking at him and then Will turned away (likely) or he started cheesing once Will was already turned around.

I think it's the former for two reasons. One being that Will gets nervous and turns around, very typical behavior for someone who has a crush. And two being...

Mikes smile dropped very quickly and he goes right back into being serious/nervous. This could suggest he takes Will's reaction negatively. He's thinking the something similar to Will - he thinks Will's reaction is negative, perhaps he thinks Will could tell he was crushing. Which is pretty much what Will is worried about too. But he's also nervous about apologizing to him too. Why? In the past he's never been nervous about speaking intimately with Will, even in s3 he was ready to apologize within hours. Why now? Because he's aware of his feelings for him, he knows he messed up this time, and he has to be vulnerable. He has to choose his words wisely, or he could out himself.

The Mileven apology (attempt) happened the episode before. And if you watch all the details, they're significantly different. Although the situations are mirroring each other - (I know I sound like a broken record but just gonna point out again how this is yet another instance that goes along with the Superman theory, furthering the love triangle between the three of them.) Both Will and El need an apology from Mike. El is expecting one (rightfully so) but Will isn't. :( We know this because El is angry at him while Will is at the breakfast table with him (Stand Up! STAND UP!!!! lol meme reference sorry I had to). However the situations end up with very, very different outcomes, as we all know. Here's why.

If you watch the Mileven apology scene, Mike starts the apologies off completely differently. To El he immediately puts the blame on her :( He says "are we not gonna talk about it?" And he isn't exactly rude but he's not sweet or gentle. With Will, he immediately starts off by saying "About the past few days...." intending to apologize. And he's gentle about it, smiling. Completely different tones.

Also note that the Byler apology scene happens the episode after Mileven's apology scene, meaning there isn't much time in between them. Essentially, he apologizes to Will how he should have apologized to his girlfriend. Sweet and gentle. This parallels last season with the Mileven/Byler fights. Constant parallels between them, and when one is taken away, the other is closer to Mike in all seasons. They literally went S1:Mileven S2:Byler S3:Mileven S4: Byler. 👁👄👁 BE MORE OBVIOUS??? It's like they spent these four seasons splitting the love triangle in two and now it's a toss up for S5 after all the development.

Okay back to the shots. As soon as Will says he deserved it, Mike shoots back "No." Like a milisecond after Will finishes his sentences. This suggests Mike feels strongly about what he's saying and thinks what Will is saying is ridiculous and very untrue. Especially considering his emphasis on No. He feels really bad about treating Will poorly.

And then we land on his face which looks disgusted. Now obviously in context, he's not disgusted at Will. So why does he have a disgusted face on? Because he's disgusted with himself. He knows he made Will feel like he "deserved" some sort of bad treatment, and he's upset with himself for it. And the worst part about it is that Will believed it was his fault.

Now if you go back to the Mileven apology... he doesn't admit what he did wrong. Instead he insists she's wrong about him thinking she is a monster. With Will, he instantly admits Will didn't deserve the treatment he gave him. But with Mileven it's the complete opposite (El you deserve better than this closeted homo sorry to you Mike Wheeler). He says "no" multiple times, just like with Byler, but he's stuttering and stumbling. Go watch the Byler apology... He says each and every single "No" very clearly. He is lying in the Mileven scene. I don't think he necessarily thinks she's a monster - I do think he cares for her as a very close friend - but I think he sees her as superior to him, and while that fascinates him it may also frighten him a little. That's why it's hard for him to say this without sounding sincere, he doesn't see her as a monster but he sees her as different then him. Somebody on twitter pointed out that in the apology attempt scene, El stands over Mike, creating an inferior vs superior dynamic, indicating Mike's feelings about the situation. El doesn't feel that way and we know this because at the very end of the scene she says "Not anymore" about being a superhero. The whole scene is her talking about how she's so different, still, even without the powers. So she doesn't view herself as superior to him, she views herself as different from him. Mike views her as superior to him.

Now in the Byler scene, they're almost at the same level, except Wills kneeling on the floor so he's slightly lower than Mike, and because of this he does have to look slightly up to Mike. But you'll also notice that Mike's shots look like they're at eye level. Will's shot's are pointed just ever so slightly downward. This means Will views Mike as above him - probably not in a bad way, but he looks up to him. He's smiling in these shots, not arguing like Mike was with Eleven. They are the same visuals to indicate the context is the same. (An attempted apology to a lover/crush) But we see the outcome is different. Conflictingly, Mike's shots in the Byler scene are at eye/level, meaning he sees Will as his equal. Not superior. Like c'mon. It's so blatant that the writers want us to see the juxtaposition between these two character pairings and if one's a romantic couple the other should be too, no? Just look at this definition of a love triangle. (not all love triangles happen this way, but this is called the eternal love triangle)

Now El isn't jealous because she's not aware of Mike's love for Will, and Mike isn't a cheater because nothing has happened (although those lip glances and flirty smiles are bordering you better watch yourself Mike Wheeler) But the dynamic is still there. El feels unloved by Mike, not uncared for, unloved. Mike has always deep down had feelings for Will and Will is definitely part of (the catalyst) the reason why Mike has issues with Mileven. Okay next shots.

Mike starts off by mentioning the rest of the party in Hawkins, his friends. He says "they're GREAT, it's just..." It's just what Mike? Will's not great? Well if you don't think he's great then what do you think? His next line creates a contrast between all of his other friends and Will. Hawkins isn't the same without Will, for Mike, not anybody else. He doesn't say this to El (because he doesn't love her romantically and she deserves better.) He says this to Will. He then goes on to say he feels like he lost Will and literally says he's focusing too much on his girlfriend. Mike's telling Will that his life is literally not the same without Will around, physically and emotionally.To me, this explains his behavior in the beginning of the season. He knows (or thinks) there's no possibility of Will coming home with him so why even get attached again? He's not attached to El like he is to Will, so writing and calling is good enough for him until he can see her after 8 months. Then he asks will if any of that makes sense, showing he is insecure/unsure of what he just said. He's second guessing it. Probably racking his mind to make sure he didn't say anything too much. He needs Will's approval of his feelings.

Note he still has his hands on his lap. And there's no better time than now to point out the imagery behind Mike. While Will has an open closet behind him, Mike has a poster of Jaws, a horror movie, and then a poster of a musical named Little Shop of Horrors. So while Will is with an open closet meaning he's accepting his feeling, Mike is framed by horror, meaning this is all scary for him, even being vulnerable with Will. Because now he recognizes his feelings for him, whereas he didn't know he had them in the other seasons.

In the first shot Mike says he has no idea what's gona happen next. That means he has no idea what's gonna happen with El, his girlfriend. He thinks theres no coming back from the fight they just had. Note that they never officially got back together and never kissed in their reunion. Then directly after he suggests that there is no more Mileven, he says him and Will should be a team. A partnership. Together.

But before he suggests that, he darts his eyes over to the side nervously, and then takes a big gulp. He's very obviously nervous.

Also, since Will has turned to face him at this point (conveying he's feeling more open with Mike) the lighting on their faces mirror each other. The dark is on the same side and the light is on the same side. Signifying unity between them. They're a pair.

And the light (gay) side is also the direction Mike darts his eyes in before suggesting they be a team. This could definitely be coincidental but I thought it was worth pointing out.

Then he takes a slight pause and suggest they be friends (again). Then in the bottom left picture, he takes an even longer pause while staring right into Will's eyes, and finally suggests best friends. Best friends is what Will suggested in the rink scene, so this means definitively that Mike is reciprocating Will's feelings.

Note once again this happens once El leaves. As soon as El leaves the picture, in whatever circumstance throughout the show, Will immediately takes her place. This is no exception, in fact it's the biggest example since S2.

Will cannot have Mike the way that he wants when El is there because Mike basically forces himself to be straight.

And then THIS part lol. Please give me a heterosexual explanation for this, quickly.

Crickets.

So this is pretty self explanatory but I'm going to go into it just a bit. Don't worry we are nearing the end lol.

Will says cool. He says it excitedly. Mike says cool, he says it in a calm, chill manner. You've probably heard this before and I think I mentioned it in one of my other posts. But they're repeating the term "Cool" back to each other, just like they do in S2 with Crazy Together. This is another term for I love you, because they're repeating it back and they are looking at each other flirtatious.

Visually all I'm gonna point out is Mike literally checks Will out, flicks his eyebrow up while bringing his eyes back to Will's face (?????????) and then smiles LIKE THAT.

He also can see Will tearing up, just noting that.

If this is not the gayest scene between them.

Okay to the very last point I'm going to make here, but I think it's the most important one.

This scene parallels the van scene in two ways. Mike has a speech and Will let's him get through it uninterrupted, without saying anything. The second parallel is that they repeat the code I love you words back to each other. Once Mike starts his speech with "No No..." Will doesn't say anything til the very end with "Cool." Even when Mike asks him a question, he only nods. The same thing happens in the van scene. Once Will starts his speech, Mike doesn't say anything til the very end with "Yeah" the reciprocated code word for I love you.

And not to mention, to the right of Mike is the boys don't cry poster, on his side of the room in the light, not the dark. This could suggest Mike has repressed feelings (boys dont cry) about being gay (the light where him and Will are together). Maybe nothing maybe something. I think it's interesting.

Now do I think the Duffer's alone are smart enough for everything I listed in here? Probably not. But they have a whole crew of people working on this set so maybe not everything here is true or intentional, but I definitely think this scene is queer-coded none the less.

Wow. This is my longest post yet. I thought I wouldn't find much in this scene when I started out hence the "this post should be a short one" lol. Maybe we are getting Byler after all.

Hope you enjoy!