#and the fact that i can talk to him the way i'm naturally prone to speaking

[flippinpancakes64]

could you write the cullen's being jealous??

The Cullens being Jealous

Thank you so much for requesting and I hope you enjoy this!

Also I mentioned it in my last post but I know not everybody would have seen it because I didn't put as many tags, so I'll say it again.

My requests are open!!!!! Please request, I'm bored :(

Edward:

I feel like he would get jealous pretty easy

Like he can hear everybody's thoughts

He already knows if someone starts expressing interest in you before they can even do anything

But the most he would do in that scenario is maybe keep you a little farther away from that person

You know like moving your seat in class so you're closer to him and farther from them

Walking different ways to class to avoid them

Stuff like that

He wouldn't say anything to you or to them

Now if they act on it?

Completely different story

No matter your gender, physical appearance, race, literally anything, the second you guys start dating everyone knows it

So for someone to know that you guys are dating and still try something?

He is seeing red

It doesn't matter what the other person did

A flirty note, asking you on a date, literally touching your fingers while they hand you something

All of it's the same to Edward

If it wasn't your fault or you weren't reciprocal, it's very likely that you wouldn't even know anything happened

To you, Edward just stepped away for a moment at lunch

But in reality he cornered the poor, stupid person and not-so-nicely told them to never even look at you again or they were gonna be dead

But if he sees something that you did as meaning that you were into it?

The same thing happens to the other person

And he sits down to have a talk with you

Maybe he only heard about what happened and didn't get to read your mind as it was happening

Or maybe he can't read your mind for some reason

Just explain to him that he's the only one for you

And let him read your mind if he can to let him know that you mean it

Overall he's very protective and pretty prone to jealousy

Alice:

I don't really see her as the jealous type

She has that mentality of "they come home with me every night so it doesn't matter what other people do"

Like she's got you already

And she doesn't ever see you cheating

So she's not worried

The only time that she would get jealous is if you show a liking to human nature

AKA anything that she can't give you

If you mention something about someone's hand being so warm or mention having a sleepover with someone she gets a bit jealous

The sad type

It just reminds her that she can't be everything for you

If you're a human it's even worse

She knows that she's cold

She knows she can't sleep

She knows that she'll never be able to enjoy your favorite foods with you

It just hurts to be reminded of it

But she's also not the type to stew in it

She will tell you straight-up if something is bothering her

She won't ask you to never make comments like that ever again

Obviously that's not really something that can be controlled

But she just wants you to know why she's a little more down than usual today

"Oh nothing, I was just reminded that I'm not human"

Please give her so many kisses and tell you that you love her no matter what

Jasper:

I can already tell I'm gonna get carried away

Jasper in my mind 🤝 angst

He gets so jealous

But again it's the sad kind

He's not perfect

He's not human

And he's not good for you

The fact that you agreed to date him at all is still a wonder to him

So he's very sensitive to seeing you with other people at all

He knows that you have friends obviously and that you can't be with him 24/7

But when he sees you and your lab partner laughing and making jokes, when he sees one of your oldest friends leaning way too close, when he finds a note shoved in between your papers, it gets to be too much

It just reminds him of how many better options there are for you

He wouldn't say anything to the person making moves on you

He knows that it would definitely end up in a police report and the Cullens needing to move again

But I feel like he would take some time to talk to you

He would take a while to psych himself up though

Maybe a few practice convos with Alice

And a threat from Rosalie that she is going to take matters into her own hands if he doesn't say anything

He would be very open about what's bothering him

He doesn't like keeping secrets from you

So he would tell you about how he felt seeing the way someone acted with you

The type of emotions they were feeling

And how it was bothering him

He would accept all of your explanations that the person was just a friend, or that you don't feel that way

But I feel like what he would really need is some intense reassurance that you do want to be dating him

And that you love him

Aww so sweet

Rosalie:

Yeah she doesn't get jealous

She's a bad bitch

She's hot

And she knows that you love her

It doesn't matter if some nobody from your highschool starts hitting on you

Because there's no way they have a chance with you

And she knows that

Because guaranteed you are a bad bitch too

The only time that really any reaction would come from her is if somebody physically hits on you and makes you uncomfortable

And it's not jealousy it is full protective rage

Like how dare someone touch her SO and think they can get away with it

A note or two, maybe some longing glances she can get past

But harassing for a date, pressuring you for your number, or even making physical advancements that you are not okay with?

Yeah suddenly they wake up the next day with a broken arm

And she goes full exposé

If they sent you any nudes they are getting leaked to the school

She doesn't play around like that

Fuck around and find out

But she will never be jealous of some losers trying to take what's not theirs

Emmett:

He's also not really one to get jealous

In fact he kinda likes the opportunities

Like if some guy is hitting on you he LOVES being able to sneak up and go

"Babe is this guy bothering you?"

And then the dude just turns around and sees this 6 foot something 300 pounds of pure muscle dude standing there

He loves it

He does get a bit annoyed though

Like if there's one person that keeps sending you notes, asking you on dates, trying to sit next to you in class, he gets frustrated

He offers to beat them up

To get them to leave you alone of course not because it's annoying him

Even if you say not to he's still gonna do it

He's like a 50's gangster waiting in an alleyway for the person to show up

He doesn't physically beat them up

Yet

If the person persists after his "stern talk" their ass gets jumped

And he will always deny it if you ask him

Oh well :)

Esme:

I feel like she might be a bit insecure about being one of the "normal" ones

She doesn't have any special powers

And she didn't have any particularly strong characteristics that manifested themselves when she turned

In her mind she's just a little "blah"

So I feel like she would get jealous easy

But it wouldn't have an opportunity to present itself as much

She wouldn't get jealous over most humans

And since she spends most of her time in the house, she doesn't even get to see you out and about interacting with people all that often

So I feel like the moments in which her jealousy makes itself known would be when other vampires are in the area

Especially if they're vegetarians

And ESPECIALLY if they're gifted

It was her actual waking nightmare when all of the vampires were collected to protect Renesmee

(Not that she really had time to be worrying about that but yk)

The only other time I could see her getting jealous would be if you two were out and about together and someone started hitting on you

And even then she would only tell you about it after the person left

"I can't believe they were flirting with you while I am literally right here" "...are you jealous?" "...no..."

Carlisle:

This is a man who is secure in his relationship

He trusts you completely because he knows that you trust him completely

SO many people flirt with him at the clinic (I don't blame them I would too tbh) (actually no I wouldn't I'm too scared to do that)

He knows that people find him attractive

And he knows that people find you attractive because how could they not

But he has full faith in you

And he is very transparent

He tells you all of his stories from the day when he comes home from work

"This woman came in today with a broken foot, like completely turned around, bone showing and everything. And she still looked at me and asked for my number! And then she passed out..."

He thinks it's funny

Because he would never, not in a million years, even CONSIDER cheating

The only thing would be if you're describing an interaction you had and you don't sound completely put-off by it or if he finds that you kept a note someone gave you that was very clearly flirtatious

He, once again, does not let it stew, though

He directly asks about it

Prying into the details of how you feel about this person and why you talked the way you did/kept the note they gave

I can't imagine anyone cheating on him tho so just tell him the truth that you didn't mean it that way or just forgot to throw the note away

He still fully trusts you tho

Vampire! Bella:

She sort of has the same problem as Esme

In her mind she still thinks of herself as the boring, plain-looking girl who just blended in

She doesn't consider herself to be anything special

So when she sees you talking to someone else, maybe laughing a bit too hard at someone's joke, or even hanging out with someone, she gets super jealous

I am sad to say though that she does immediately jump to conclusions

She gets sad for a bit but then immediately she flies into accusations

Asking you what you were doing with that person, if you want to break up with her, if she's not good enough, if you already cheated on her

It gets a bit exhausting after a while

I feel like this would be a genuine problem

Once she met Edward, she basically left all of her friends

So she has a little bit of a skewed idea of what a relationship is supposed to be like

I mean you can't entirely blame her

Her only other experience with a relationship was complete obsession

So she thinks your relationship should be the same

You just need to tell her that

That most normal people in relationships do actually have friends

She'll get it at some point... maybe

[ooooo-mcyt]

I've seen you talk about Grian's guilt complex- which I totally agree exists, but I'm having a hard time coming up with example of why it does? What situations can you say would explain it well? (I'm not wording this well I don't think ahhhhh)

Well part of it is just that Grian's an overthinker. It's generally just a facet of his personality that he overthinks things sometimes, which can lead to Grian assigning himself blame for situations other people may brush off more easily. He also is very naturally protective. Grian often makes it 'his responsibility' to take care of his allies on a level other members of the server may not, which lends itself to Grian self blaming when something happens to his teammates.

Beyond Grian's personality just lending itself to self critical behavior, though, there's also the fact that he made the game. This season in particular Mumbo won't let him forget it, reminding Grian over and over that the wild cards are his fault. Grian is never a character I read with any malice, and I don't think his role in the games, whatever you interpret that to be, is to intentionally hurt people. But people do get hurt, and that's an atmosphere that's just primed for Grian to feel guilty whenever something bad happens to someone he cares about, just on account of the fact that it's his game.

Finally I think the specific circumstances of Grian's series have really shaped up well to make him feel guilt a lot. I mean, the defining moment of Third Life for him was when he got Scar killed in session one. His first major act on the server was to accidentally kill someone, and then he spent all season trying to make up for it, making everyone hate him in the process. And in the end he still killed Scar again in the finale. (his deal with scar also in many ways directly set up grian's long running compulsive need to take care of his teammates constantly)

Considering the combination of Grian feeling personal responsibility for the game itself, his first season basically setting him up to feel guilt, and the fact that his personality just generally lends itself to overthinking, it's almost inevitable for Grian to be more prone to guilt and self blame than some other characters may be.

[skaruresonic]

Silent Hill 2 critically examines and challenges many of our presupposed notions of gender roles, marriage, and the nuclear family unit. The game would not resonate as hard as it does if James and Mary were not married, because marriage carries with it a heavy emotional and cultural baggage.

In this post, I'm going to talk about cultural misogyny, how it's woven into the narrative. Apologies if it's not very well-structured, since I'll be offering my thoughts on an off-the-cuff basis.

The misogyny SH2 explores is a lot subtler and more structural in nature than is portrayed in the remake. While the remake is more blatant and not nearly critical enough of its portrayal of James as a more stereotypical hero, the original attacks the very premise that it's necessarily "wrong" for a woman to lose her worth via a loss of physical beauty, and that a man needs to perform the role of "protector" at the cost of being considered a failure.

To that end, I think some vital nuance is lost when the remake recharacterizes James as a more typical rugged Stronk Man, stoic and impatient, egotistical, and way more prone to violence than his original counterpart.

Original!James runs from his problems whenever possible. What's more, his cowardice serves a thematic purpose of showing us that even well-intentioned "nice guys" can be misogynistic. Because, again, the misogynistic framework that upholds Western constructs of marriage and family is structural, not individual.

James cannot meet any of the girls or women he meets in the eye whenever they castigate him. This in and of itself challenges the notion that James ought to be "in charge" of any of them.

Maria's emasculation starts early, and it doesn't really let up, resulting in James' mixed feelings of arousal and repulsion.

Angela, likewise, rejects being considered an object of pity, for pity implies condescension. James cannot save her by white-knighting her problems.

James initially feels compelled to "protect" Laura as a presumed damsel in distress when, ironically enough, she's the safest of anyone in Silent Hill. In fact, she places James in the position of "damsel in distress" by locking him in a room full of monsters.

This is a game where the women lead and James follows: a gendered frustration embodied by Pyramid Head, who cannot be placated, only fled.

It's no coincidence that most of the monsters you encounter are feminine in nature - rather helpless, sickly, and pathetic at that - while the one monster you cannot beat into submission is an intense expression of hypermasculinity.

Unlike James, whose emotions render him "less than" in the eyes of a patriarchal culture, Pyramid Head is stoic and never speaks. Pyramid Head is powerful and virile. Pyramid Head does not succumb to grief or suffer feelings of guilt for his misdeeds. Pyramid Head is a lone wolf that relies on no one else. Pyramid Head is "strong" enough to carry the psychological burden represented by the Great Knife with ease.

Although some degree of sexual frustration does factor in here, it's not the only message Team Silent were trying to impart via the monster dynamics. Pyramid Head is repeatedly seen dominating and subjugating the more "feminine" monsters. It doesn't take much onion-peeling here to see that James is harboring some subconscious grudges over his "failings" to meet society's standards of what a man is supposed to be like.

He isn't strong: he can't open a fridge without Maria's help. He isn't powerful: reading all the medical textbooks he could didn't save Mary. He isn't courageous: he can hardly look Maria or Angela in the eye when they force him to confront uncomfortable truths. He isn't, even, particularly respected at times: Laura locks him in a room just to laugh at him. The only person he has a leg up on is Eddie, but after a brutal shootout in a literal meat locker: one of the many implications being that this kind of pressure to be considered "real men" can potentially turn human beings into butchers for a sliver of domination.

For all intents and purposes, James is a "failed" man, just as Mary is a "failed" woman. By falling ill and losing her sexual allure, she failed to meet the culturally-ingrained expectations of a wife.

It's worth noting that both Mary and James hold these expectations and biases without realizing it. It's simply more obvious in James' psyche because we see the manifestations firsthand.

But Mary holds these values to be self-evident, too, when she laments that between the disease and the drugs, she looks "like a monster." Because patriarchy has taught her that a woman's worth lies in her looks, she laments the loss of her beauty to disease; she becomes worthless, "undeserving" of flowers (that is to say, basic decency on her husband's part).

She even laments being "ugly" and "disgusting" James in her last letter to him, as if she's failed him somehow through contracting an illness she never asked for.

Although the statistic that men divorce their wives if their wives fall ill is not necessarily true, it is true that women, as the presumed caretakers of the family, tend to survive at rates less than men if they do fall terminally ill due to a lack of support system.

We further see the mother's failure when Angela admits that her own mother said she (Angela) deserved her rape at her father's hands.

Furthermore, these gendered themes are expressed through the game's treatment of Maria. As a sentient entity born from James' selfish wishes, Maria lies trapped in an existentially horrifying state: objectification.

It's interesting that Maria professes interests and dislikes in Born from a Wish and early in Letter From Silent Heaven - in the former, she confesses that she's not much for literature, and in the latter, she opines "I hate bowling" - but slowly loses her individuality as time goes on. In addition, Maria stops insisting she's "real" and starts insisting that she can be whatever James wants her to be.

Eventually, she assumes Mary's voice and face (despite James having already noted that she bears an uncanny resemblance to Mary because of her face and voice) out of a false hope that doing so will ingratiate her to a man who doesn't want her.

Maria does not live for herself but owes her existence to a man. She becomes anything James needs her to be: a lesson taught when she dies; bait on a hook when she attempts to seduce him; even a version of his dead wife that will "never yell at [him] or make [him] feel bad." She bears Mary's face and voice, but not much else. Her thoughts and feelings ultimately do not matter because she is "not Mary."

Maria is treated like an object, despite being flesh and blood, and she has internalized this, displaying an unnerving willingness to contort herself in whatever shape necessary to keep James, for, again, without James she would not exist. When James states that he no longer needs her, she cries, "How can you throw me away?"

All of these things form the overarching reason why the renewed prioritization of combat disturbs me. It's almost like the remake is saying that violence is justified, but more specifically, the kind of gendered violence that culminated in James smothering his terminally-ill wife. Making combat "satisfying" defeats the point that combat shouldn't be a reward for violence.

Making the monsters extra aggressive so that combat is "provoked" and therefore justified, in fact, hits uncomfortably close to the nerve of "she brought it on herself." The idea that Mannequins now bumrush you when in the original, they only moved once perceived, allows the player to ignore how James must go out of his way to commit violence.

James, likewise, going "You're not here anymore" in the In Water ending does not bode well for his respect for Mary as a person, if he thinks his duty to her memory stops the moment her heart does.

In addition, Remake!James is more egotistical and entitled than Original!James.

While this may not inherently be a problem, I feel this has the potential to have audiences let James off the hook in a sort of Calvinist way. By dismissing his poor judgment and misdeeds as a result of his gender. "Oh, he was always an asshole, he deserves whatever he gets," rather than the more salient question, "What would we do in his situation? How could we restructure the ways we think about marriage, family, and gender roles so that the vulnerable don't slip through the cracks?"

As I've noted in previous posts, Remake!James' speech patterns reflect a more self-centered nature. When he tells Angela that his goal is to find Mary following Angela's emotional breakdown, he frames it as though Mary is his possession:

Notice how his priority is protecting his self-image as a good person and not in comforting Angela or trying to defuse the situation, like in the original.

Remake!James be like "Listen here, you audacious bitch, I don't know who you think I am, but I'm #notlikeallmen. I just want to get my wife back. 😤"

[anthony-crowleys]

Ok but I can't stop mulling over this exchange in ep. 6 between Mae-Posing-As-Osha and Sol, "I had to lose a lot of myself in order to become a Jedi. [...]" And him responding "I'm sorry if it felt that way."

Like.

Number one, did he not felt this way too, even just a little?

I think that abiding to that strict moral code, trying to rein in strong emotions and finding balance would take a toll on almost everyone, more or less (some people are clearly more inclined to a lifestyle like that and are very proficient at it, like Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Yoda etc., but clearly it's not for everyone, see Luke and Anakin and now Osha).

Is this an indicator that no, he was perfectly fine within the set rules of the Jedi lifestyle and what transpired on Brendok was just a natural slip up that could have happened to every other well-meaning Jedi.

Or… That he didn't felt like he had to change at all and never really did?

He grew up and remained an emotional man, prone to be led by his gut feelings, and nobody had a problem with that because he is a gentle and warm person that doesn't create problems and kinda decided to let it slide until it blew up in their faces but they don't know that yet?

(But the council acknowledged that he was still not mature enough to have a padawan, at least that is what I gathered in that conversation with Indara in ep. 7. They knew he wasn't ready. I also wonder how the whole "We don't think you are ready but oh look you now have a child you say you feel a strong connection with sooo ok you can be her master let's see how it goes!" thing went down.)

And then after Brendok he didn't felt that he needed to change that much, just "lesson learned now I'll be more careful" and that was it? And maybe being responsible for Osha is what helped him become more wise and controlled?

That line makes it seem like it's a foreign concept to him, having to shed and set aside things about your character in order to fit in a somewhat thight mold like the one the Jedi code requires. He was quick to confide that he left home when he was younger than her and that he felt different from his family, so I guess that if he also shared this sentiment, he would have said so.

And number two, worded that way it seems like this is news for him? Did he not notice that Osha struggled too much?

I mean, we don't know how/why she left the Jedi order yet, and that fact alone must have been a strong indicator that she was not in the right place, but still, how is Sol taking in these words?

As a further confirmation that she was unhappy there or as a surprise, because he thinks he failed her by not being a good master and that it's solely his fault that she didn't thrive in the Jedi order? This could tie in neatly with that "Perhaps I wasn't a very good teacher." line from episode two, that there is an underlying sense that he thinks he was not good enough and failed at the one thing that he cared about more than anything that defines this character.

And, at least to me, it's still unclear whether or not Sol knew at this point if this was Mae or he thought he was talking to Osha, because if he knew, this was just a "Let's give a vague but somewhat fitting answer even though I know this is not true" kinda thing and my time thinking about this whole exchange is being wasted ig.

[frozenmoonshine]

Headcanon - Tips & Tricks on how to date Sanzu Haruchiyo:

I just wrote this to cope with my unhealthy obsession with this fictional man. He's my absolute favorite TR baby, so forgive me for being shamelessly self indulgent! ...or don't.

If feminine terms of endearment and/or hinted hetero relationship trigger you for any reason, please skip this one. Cheers.

Haru is a lovebug, but that cannot be seen by just anyone. It requires a person with thick, and I mean: THICK nerves and patience to handle him right. He's prone to jealousy, he's headstrong, and he holds his grudges like Mikey's life directly depends on it!

If not handled properly, he will ghost you for days, try to make you jealous, be deliberately mean and controlling/manipulative, or in more extreme cases, turn full on yandere stalker on you! But all of that is triggered by his innate need to be loved and deeply, deeply rooted fear of being abandoned and being less than. So don't make him insecure!

It's highly recommended to build trust with him first, so if you guys start out by being genuine friends first, before you start dating, and then let the things develop naturally from there, there's a lot more chance that he'll open up to you and let you in, and he won't be as afraid of you leaving him or "betraying" him.

Seriously tho, don't leave him! He needs someone to love him, and to love back, way more than he realizes! He desperately needs someone to call "home", someone who will stay, who will accept him, and not judge him for who he is. And who he is deep down is just a soft little baby, that would do anything and everything for his loved one!

Until he gets properly comfortable with you and the fact that someone genuinely cares for him (which is a big challenge for him!) he may occaaionally act inconsistent (not messaging back for hours on end, standing you up for dates, being generally unavailable, etc.) It's either all due to his gang duties, fights, and devotion to Mikey, or simply just his struggle to adapt to love. But you can always be completely certain that he's not cheating!

Why? Because he's simply the type that falls in love for life, stays loyal and faithful even after death does you part (regardless of who dies first), and is so overprotective that it can be too much to deal with sometimes! ("Why is that ugly bitch over there giving you the side eye?! She wants me to explain to her who you are or what?!" - "No one talks like that to my Queen, I'm gonna rip his fucking skeleton apart!" etc.) And yeah, unless you stop him somehow, he will commit homicide just because someone stepped into your lane a bit too rudely for his taste.

Also, once you have successfully conquered his tattered, lonely heart, he would totally call you his Queen, and treat you as such as well. He's a lowkey simp, but a high key gentleman and super respectful in every sense of the word. His manners, albeit a little bit oldschool (legacy of having been brought up by his grandma and Takeomi), are always impeccable! If you didn't know better, you'd easily think he was some rich, spoiled, stuck-up "bocchan".

He'll be very reserved at the beginning of your dating, not exactly shy, but somewhat distant. But he'll never fail to open the door for you, move your chair for you, walk next to the car track making sure you're on the safer side, hold your coat for you or offer his if you don't have one, etc. But even holding hands will only happen after three dates or so.

And the first date is at Cozy Corner, and you guys are getting cheesecakes, it's just a fact, I don't make the rules! Once the relationship gets a bit more established it will become your monthly tradition.

On another negative side of dating Haru, however, be prepared to "share" him with Mikey! Although his attachment to Mikey is not romantic in nature, and Mikey isn't exactly someone to be jealous of in that sense, he will be a significant part of your relationship, as Haru will either talk incessantly about him, or flat our refuse to spend time with you because "Mikey needs him", and to him that is a perfectly valid reason.. But, if you (ideally) share, or (at least) understand his obsession with his King, and support his ambition to be Mikey's right hand man, he'll marry you, no joke!

* * * BONUS * * *

He used to be self conscious about his scars around you at first, not taking the mask off in front of you for 3 whole months of dating. You even "kissed" for the first time over the mask. When you asked him why he always wears it, he tried avoiding the subject at first, but when he realized he can trust you, he admitted he was afraid of your reaction when you see his face (you of course find him nothing less than drop dead gorgeous).

He hates PDA, but is quite affectionate in private, though never smothering. He'll hug you from behind when you're in the kitchen, randomly kiss your temple when you're cuddled up watching a movie together, he always speaks to you in a gentle, loving tone, he rubs small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb when holding hands, he always praises the food you make for him, he tries his best to learn to make your favorites, etc.

When the Kanto Manji-kai started getting seriously corrupted, he tried pushing you away, but you insisted on staying by his side no matter what, and he greatly appreciates you for that. Despite all, you are his safe haven.

In his KMK/early Bonten days, you half-jokingly asked him to teach you to use a sword. He taught you to play shōgi instead. It almost became a weekend tradition for the two of you. Since you started keeping scores, you've been in the lead with 139 wins, over his 137. (He may or may not have let you win on purpose, more than once.) You tease him that it's because he's such a good teacher.

As Bonten's 2nd in command, he's still as loyal to you as always, but you're never his first priority. It's Mikey and Bonten's business, and you know it. However, you can't say you haven't felt jealous of Mikey in some cases. Whenever Mikey calls, Haru will immediately leave, even mid-sex.

He always tries to make it up to you later if Mikey interrupted your time together, tho.

He avoids meeting you on the days when he's had to kill. Not just because he doesn't want to "taint" you, but also because he doesn't like himself when he's high. He'd rather wait for the drugs to wear off before meeting you. If you guys live together, then he'll just spend the day at the Bonten HQ instead.

Once you start living together, he's a godsent to have around the house! You don't have to do any cleaning ever again, his OCD kicks in and your apartment will always be spotlessly clean. He occasionally nags at you to be more tidy tho.

He's even more overprotective as an adult than he was as a teen. if you're going somewhere that is not owned by or affiliated with Bonten, and he can't go with you for whatever reason, you will unavoidably have two of his most trusted subordinates escort you and stay by your side at all times as your bodyguards. And no, he's not trying to contol where you go or what you do, (those two guys basically work for you, not him, at this point, anyway) he just won't leave anything to chance and risk you getting targetted by any of his numerous enemies when he's not around to protect you by himself. When the two of you are together out, he never leaves your side, and always has an arm around your waist or back.

[yuseirra]

**161 spoilers**

Hm.. Things are way too simple if this is really how it is, though. As I say.. This work is meant to be read as volumes. There's a flow behind it all...

I'll jot down what I make of it like last time from.what I remember. I honestly do feel Kamiki IS acting in this one, because there are a certain 2-3 panels that stick out from all the others and I feel those are his real emotions. It didn't have to be there, but those come off as a reaction towards Aqua when he does something very reckless.

The rest, I'll add on in the read more:

Oh, and if you're a hikaai shipper/like hikaru and somehow want to keep on believing in him- here you go! I don't think my logic's so bad on this one.

Dark times really, I take what I get and accept them, but there are some things that I feel can be discussed. I still don't think I'm wrong... Yet!

This isn't about him being threatened, I think,

Because if you look at the things he's saying, Hikaru is okay about dying, it's not a bad idea, he says, and it could help Ai in terms of making her life have more value<(what nonsense is this...I actually feel this IS something important though. If he's really been murdering people, this was why he was doing it, he said something about his life gaining more value when Yura died. That's why I had this whole idea of him trying to trade his life off for Ai would be it, because Mephisto had lyrics that imply of such actions. He needs his life to become "heavy" in order to do something for Ai.. Or so I thought.)

He's against the idea of Aqua dying. I do sense that. His face looks..very despaired/concerned-startled when Aqua mentions he'll give up his future/stabs himself in that respective order.

Just what is up with this guy? People really die around him. All he did in a physical sense did WAS talk, you know. Could he have predicted Aqua would stab himself?? No way...

The things Kamiki says aren't too off from reality, I don't find it to be so manipulative because.. Well, the things he talk in accordance to Aqua's life is something he CAN say as someone who's aware of what Aqua loves. Anyone can say that, and in fact, I think those could actually come off as caring.

The things he say about Ruby, I think this could actually be important because from what I see, Kamiki is aware of how cruel the public can be.

If Aqua becomes a murderer, people could show their malice on Ruby.

Isn't that similar to what's happened to Ai? People got to her because she had a boyfriend and had kids.

Kamiki is aware of this nature of the industry. I think he would have felt it more than anyone.

He does put on a very sinister? Evil looking smile as he says that, but it's actually an advice that does come from his own experience.

You know.. This is why I don't think his motives, as told by Tsukuyomi, doesn't make a lot of sense to me. What point is there to keep Ai's image for this man? It's what's killed her. I mean, if I were to be in his place, I'd have first loathed Ryosuke, and myself, and hated the world for being this way. Remember how Ruby was very upset after Ai's death, seeing the public's reaction towards her, using her death as something to feed their interest and direct their malice on? What I can infer from here is that, Kamiki is also very aware of that. He knows there's a lot of hate, and his girl and his beloved are both prone to be affected from such things.

Would he think that it'd be really meaningful to have Ai be "remembered by the public forever" then?

Like how I was confused about just how much Aqua knows in the previous chapter to base his claims on, I wonder just how much Tsukuyomi knows about Kamiki's motives in accuracy. How reliable is she as a source?

The current motives she brought forth on regard to his actions are, as I said in my previous posts, what anyone could have derived as a reader. There's nothing so new about it, so it's underwhelming for it to have been only mentioned now.

Oh, okay. So after all that backstory and the whole idea of him doing something for Ai, of her really having desired to have a family with him, it all only boils down to this. Then that whole part doesn't have a point. She's a god though, so she should know what she's talking about, huh.

There was that idea of.. Going through with an answer you've come up with after having thinking through very hard. Kamiki said that to Ruby in 147, and I remember that scene because it stood out to me. Whatever he's been doing is not what a god likes, I got that sort of feeling from it...

Would it really be something that simple and hollow? There's little fruit that will bear. Why be so desperate over something, that you actually don't really like(I don't think he likes the public?? Saying they hide hate beneath them?)

I still don't think he wants to hurt Ruby? Because he mentions Ruby as one of the things Aqua loves and wants to watch. If he's going to kill? her.. Why bring that up as what he should live for and enjoy?

From the translations I got Aqua says Kamiki wants to taint Ruby's future?? Is that different from taking her life then? Is THIS guy the black star god then?

Anyway, that whole interaction of Kamiki and Aqua going about Ruby actually looks really fake to me,

Aqua says something like a shounen protag saying "you don't get to decide what's right for Ruby!" true, but.. That scene where Kamiki drops the phone(why does he drop it lol it will crack) and snickers... Just screams he's playing the bad guy, because he was expressionless right before forming that smile. There are separate panels that lead up to it and it didn't have to be there.

Anyhow, the one thing I can really pick up for sure in this chapter is that he really didn't expect Aqua to stab himself, and that he doesn't want Aqua to be the one to kill him. He makes it very clear that Aqua has a lot to live for.(kamiki probably doesn't himself)

The rest, I have to just keep reading more to confirm.

[localsharkcryptid]

Fuck it, I NEED to talk about a hyper specific headcanon I have for cpunz.

So the sort of precontext for this is that I have this idea for Punz being something called a False Selkie, a concept of mine but to put it simply they're like selkies but substantially more fucked up and predatory (think seal + the loch ness monster). They are like what kelpies are to horses kinda - fucked up predator edition ya know.

Punz specifically is a False Selkie with traits from a Leopard Seal, they may also be the local lake/water cryptid of the dsmp but that's for another post. Either way, I have the idea that they can make vocalizations like a leopard seal - kinda like in this video where people are being sooo fuckin stupid but it's the only thing I've found where you can really here that clunking noise they make. This sound in general for leopard seals (and by extension Punz) basically means "Fuck off", it's a threat, a warning to back up or else learn why they're an apex predator under most circumstances. It is also used to drive off rivals and probably equivalents to "Fuck off, I'm bigger and this (territory or whatever) is mine".

---

Punz does of course have very good control over his emotions and reactions to things, years of training to be able to suppress most things in favor of their job. But they've struggled with being able to stop making that threat sound in the later days of the SMP once the plan is in place, usually no one is ever close enough to here that subtle clunk, clunk, clunk that wells in the back of their throat now and again but it's there. It's a warning, a threat and the only tell they have to show that they are feigning politeness with the idiots of the server and no one ever really hears it. Even if they did who's to say it was coming from Punz? As far as everyone knew, Punz was simply a little off, they had no idea what he was so it would probably be brushed off.

Dream had heard it once or twice before the plan went into effect, but he eventually heard it properly the day he explained what happened in the prison- he had known of Punz's true nature but the sounds caught him off guard, Punz showed little emotion, they were a person of action most days but now they stood before him, slightly hunched over a table and making that deep clicking that almost echoed in the room. A threat but also a promise, a promise to set things right, to break even at the very least - after all the diet of a leopard seal includes flightless birds and well, they sure as hell hadn't ever seen Quackity fly.

Additionally they would no doubt use this sound as a challenge, Punz and Sapnap are more than prone to bumping heads- though their fights never got very far in the original days of the SMP, and even then it was mostly snide comments from Punz that were jabs to purposely get under the blazeborne's skin. But eventually the two cross paths later on in the days of the SMP - perhaps a situation where Sapnap feels the need to be a hero or simply a time where things go differently and Punz has to be between Sapnap and Dream. Either way their jabs, their cold comments purposely made to try and get Sapnap to make the first move are accented with that deep clicking except this time it's practically a threat phrased as an invitation. "Do it, I dare you, give me a reason."

There's one more time where the sound is heard, the first time it's heard in fact. In the dark of a hidden bunker, deafened by screams as those of L'manberg were betrayed. Wilbur is the one to hear it. In fact he heard it in the walls behind him before the button was even pressed. An ominous series of deep clicking sounds that were not human is what also befell the president's ears when he lost his first life.

(this string of thoughts also works with them being a normal selkie too tbh)

Anyways I'm deranged about my cPunz interpretation and my favorite hobby is making them horrifying<3

[lordgrimwing]

Babysitting #01

Maglor didn't flinch when his office door swung open, hitting the doorstop on the wall with a bang. At the law firm of Fëanoro & Associates, slamming doors and raised voices were no uncommon thing. He considered it the natural consequence of working with his father and all six of his brothers (Amrod and Amras were just paralegals at this point, but there was no question that they would join the firm after graduating) in a single building. He continued typing on his chunky keyboard until he reached the end of the paragraph of the settlement document he was redrafting before looking up.

"I need you," Maedros said without preamble, the customary mildly annoyed expression he wore anytime he wasn't talking to clients or judges replaced by actual frustration. "To do something for me."

"I'm kind of in the middle of something," Maglor said, already knowing that he'd do whatever his brother asked and just end up staying even later at the office—it wasn't as if anything was waiting for him back at his apartment.

"She brought her children," The hand not gripping the edge of the door curled into a fist at his side.

“Who did?” One of the first changes Maglor made when he came on as an attorney was to hire some good secretaries. He did not pay that much attention to any of his brothers’ schedules these days.

“That Elwing woman, the pro bono case Celegorm talked me into.”

“Oh,” He was quite familiar with the details of this particular divorce if for no other reason than Maedhros complained about it at least once a day for the past month. The woman in question, a young peredhel from down south, was apparently prone to worrying over every detail and calling her attorney in a panic when she needed reassurance that everything would get worked out. 

“I cannot work with children touching everything in my office.” His brother continued, shoulders tense. 

He thought he knew where this was going. “And you need me to…”

“Just occupy them with something. If they aren’t around to interrupt and distract her from what we’re doing, I’ll be done in an hour, two at most if this girl keeps asking inane questions and insisting on accounting for every possible mishap in the formal papers.”

Maglor signed out of his computer and pushed his chair back from the desk. “I can do that.”

“Good,” Though the tone didn’t suggest it, he could see his brother’s gratitude in the faint softening of his frown before he turned away. “Come on.”

They walked quickly down the hall to Maedhros’s corner office. At the large wooden desk inside sat a woman with bleach-blond hair styled in a vaguely windswept way. She looked up anxiously when the door swished open, her bottom lip slipping out from between her teeth as she quickly tried to compose herself. She looked even younger than Maglor expected: less like the 23-year-old mother of twin 6-year-old boys and more like a child herself. The boys in question had their faces and hands pressed against one of the windows, staring out at the city below them.

“This is Maglor,” Maedhros said briskly to Elwing. “He will keep an eye on your children until we finish.”

Maglor smiled at her to smooth over his brother’s tone. “We’ll be just down the hall.”

“Thank you,” She said, still looking like a nervous wreck, and turned to her children. “Elros, Elrond.”

They turned from the window to look at the adults. Maglor was surprised to see they were identical and couldn’t help but recall how Amrod and Amras looked as children too. Even 20, most people outside the family had a hard time telling his brothers apart, though Amrod’s hair was getting slowly darker as the years passed. These twins did not bear any resemblance to his brothers, of course, beyond the fact that they were both identical sets. Their features bore such a mix of races as to make it impossible to guess at their heritage other than some combination of elf and human.

Elwing continued. “This nice man is going to take you to do something much more fun than listening to Mommy and Mr. Marillion talk.”

Maedhros’ upper lip curled back slightly in disgust at the use of his legal last name and probably at the reference to his brother as a man. Fëanor’s family held to the traditional values of the Noldor elves and preferred using more elvan terms. Personally, Maglor did not care much one way or the other if he were called an ‘ellon’ or a ‘man’, but everyone argued less when they all went along with tradition. He ignored his brother’s reaction and turned to the boys as they approached him.

“Yes,” He grinned at them, crouching slightly so he was not looming so far above them. “We can find something much more fun.” 

“Do you have toy boats?” The first boy asked, holding hands with his brother who looked much more reluctant to talk with the stranger. “I love boats.”

His father kept a model of the boats the Noldor used to sail across the sea thousands of years ago in his office, but Maglor doubted Fëanor would appreciate them interrupting him to see it. “Let’s go see what we can find,” He said instead. At the very least, he could use one of the secretary’s computers to look up boat images or videos. If that was all it took to keep these children occupied, he would count himself lucky. He recalled Amrod and Amras being quite the handful at this age.

The first boy tugged the second along as they left the office. “I’m Elros,” He said and then pointed back at his brother. “He’s Elrond. It’s okay if you don’t remember, no one ever does.”

“I’ll do my best.” Given Elros was wearing a green t-shirt and Elrond a blue, he would have no trouble telling them apart. “What do you like most about boats?” He asked.

“You can go anywhere on a boat!” Elros exclaimed with obvious glee. “You can sail all over the world and visit all the countries and go on adventures. Who doesn’t like boats?”

“I’ve met a few hobbits who don’t.”

Elros rolled his eyes. “Our dad’s met all kinds of people on the sea, even hobbits!”

“Our dad’s a sailor.” Elrond piped up in a tiny voice. 

By which, Maglor knew he meant their father was in the navy. He’s apparently been involved in some heroics a couple years ago which was somehow making the divorce more complicated than it should have been when two peredhil got married far too young and finally realized they shouldn’t stay together. According to his father, most people got married far too young these days, especially the elves. Fëanor spoke quite freely about the vices of marrying young when Curufin was going through his own quiet divorce five years ago. The then 23-year-old law student dutifully murmured his agreement with everything said as his now ex-wife took their child and drove away. Sometimes, it was better for everyone if couples didn’t stay together.

He wondered if these boys knew their parents were getting divorced. “That sounds very exciting,” He said instead and left it at that until they reached the front desk and he told the secretary that he’d be commandeering the unused computer so Elros could show him his favorite kinds of boats.

He did not particularly care for sailing himself. He’s gone out on the ocean a few times: their father insisted they all have at least an appreciation for the type of boats the Noldor used. He found the constant movement made him nauseated. Despite that, the next hour and a half passed surprisingly quickly as Elros, with a little support from Elrond, talked his way through picture after picture of various ships.

He looked up with surprise when he heard Maedhros’s voice. “Yes, yes I am sure that is everything we need to put in writing. Yes, Eärendil will be on leave next week and we’ll get everything signed and put away and it will all be official, and you do not need to worry.” 

His tall brother guided Elwing through the doorway and into the front lobby. From his tone and expression, he was on his last thread of civility.

“All finished?” Maglor asked, standing up quickly and giving the children a gentle push toward their mother to distract her from whatever she was worrying about and his brother’s bruskness.

“Yes,” Maedhros said with conviction. 

“Yes,” Elwing said with relief. “Mr. Marillion you’ve been so helpful, thank you. I feel so much better with adding those last couple things. I really do.” She turned to Maglor. “And thank you for looking after Elros and Elrond. I hope they weren’t too much trouble.” 

“None at all,” He assured, thinking about the documents waiting in his office.

“Thank you again, Mr…” She trailed off, clearly fishing for his last name.

“It’s Marillion too, but please just call me Maglor. There are far too many of us in this firm to use our last name.”

With that, Maedhros ushered her and the two boys out through the glass entry doors. 

“Is she getting custody?” Maglor asked when his brother turned around.

“Yes,” He answered, sounding entirely done with it all. “Full custody, the father didn’t even push very hard for visitation rights.”

“She doesn’t really seem like the kind of girl who should be raising kids on her own.” Maglor mused, watching through the glass as Elwing fumbled and dropped her car keys. When she bent over to retrieve them, her phone fell out of her purse to join the keys on the asphalt.

Maedhros snorted. “She’s done it for the last six years. The father will still pay child support, so a divorce isn’t going to change that much.”

“I suppose she loves them, at least.” Love did not play heavily in any of his siblings’ childhoods. Their father approved of results far more than people. Their mother appreciated that he and Maedhros were old enough to help when their siblings came along but was quite ready to continue with her career in the intervening years. People always talked about the importance of parents loving their children, though, so it seemed like an appropriate thing to say.

His brother shrugged, unconcerned. “She certainly worries.”

“How so?”

He turned back toward his office and Maglor followed by his side. “She wanted an addition to the agreement stating who should take the kids if she suddenly died or disappeared or was kidnapped and held for ransom by some eco-terrorist group, or if the police couldn’t definitively prove her ex wasn’t involved. I had to sit there for the last 40 minutes while she called every contact on her phone and asked if they would take them.” He threw his hands up with frustration.

“And did she find someone?” Maglor asked, curious.

“No! They all had the good sense not to answer or else say those were ridiculous things to worry about and told her to calm down and they’d talk later.” Maedhros looked as though he’d wanted to tell her a good deal more than that.

“She just gave up?”

“No,” He repeated, turning suddenly into Maglor’s office and flopping into one of the cushioned chairs for clients to sit in for more relaxed discussions. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.  

Maglor sat next to him. “You could get some nicer seats in your own office, you know, rather than using mine.” He chastised without any real intent. He liked when his brother stopped by to unwind a bit during the day.

Maedhros chuckled but didn’t answer. His office hardly changed in the ten years since he claimed the space after passing the bar.

“So what happened?” Maglor pushed.

“It’s past 6:30, I just wanted her to get out.” He said without opening his eyes.

“And?”

“I said I’d take them.”

Maglor laughed at the thought of his brother volunteering to look after children again. “Really?”

“Signed it and everything. Legally binding now.” Maedhros said, looking utterly unconcerned.

“Russ,” He switched to one of the names that he only used when lightly teasing his older brother. “That means you’ll have to raise two more boys if she suddenly and mysteriously dies.”

Maedhros inhaled sharply, a mockery of surprise, and said, “Pray that she doesn’t, Laurë. Pray that she doesn’t.”

[ruthlesslistener]

On the post about your dad, while I'm aware of the issues around the choice of words, I myself have NPD and pwNPD can ABSOLUTELY be abusive if we're not self aware or otherwise trying to change our behaviours. I do my best to steer away from being emotionally abusive towards my partners but there have been times where they had to tell me to back the hell off. Not just that, I have an uncle who is the DSM textbook version of a narcissist. I'm aware I might get bashed for this, but I don't really care.

yeah like the thing is that I don't believe that narcissist traits are inherently abusive, but in this specific instance they very much are. While narcissism has negative connotations, I see it as a neutral characteristic that people are just like...naturally prone to do. The reason why NPD is a disorder is because that trait becomes overexaggerated to the point of it being maladaptive to the person who's got it, but that doesn't mean that they're inherently dangerous or abusive. However, if they're allowed to go unchecked then they very much can be abusive. In the case of my father, they are. It's not 'he's abusive BECAUSE he's a narcissist', its 'his abusive behaviors are all derived from the fact that he think that he's the only person who knows how anything in this world works, and he becomes violent if he perceives that he's being contradicted or disrespected'. Like, he's flown into an outright violent rage before over me saying 'hi' to my birds when I got home from school instead of him. Doesn't matter that I saw them first while he was somewhere upstairs doing god knows what, it still ended with him screaming about how I'm a rude, disrespectful, ungrateful piece of shit and how he should kill them or sell them off so that I would 'prioritize my family', and any attempts at telling him he was way overblowing that just made him angrier. I couldn't give less of a lick of a shit if he felt that way but kept it down/backed off after I clarified, but he never did. Even gentle attempts at trying to explain that he was over the top was seen as disrespecting him and could trigger another rage. I know bc that's how most of our fights go lmfao

idk, I just don't believe that disallowing people to say anything negative about a stigmatized trait isn't actually helpful to dismissing that stigma in the first place. A good example that I can think of where I'm qualified to speak on it would be OCD intrusive thoughts. People woobified the shit outta them as being shit like 'jump off this cliff' instead of 'this person who you just met is going to rape you and you need to be prepared to gouge out his eyes to get away/ you can crush this infant's skull so easily, here let's go through a step-by-step- playthrough of how that would feel and sound and smell as you cradle them', and now when people with actual OCD go around talking about or depicting those intrusive thoughts through art or writing, we're labeled as dangerous psychopaths. When in reality, as long as nobody is going through with any of that shit, there's nothing actually dangerous or wrong about having them. It's the severity of the person's actions that matter over everything else.

[edslacefront]

We know for a fact that Stede's a Leo historically (and I think it adds up w his character) but hottake: I think Ed's a Leo too, I was torn between that and Gemini, he's a dramatic know-it-all, but I think he def has Gemini goin on in his chart. I think Stede and Ed actually must have fairly similar charts, like they're actually so similar as people besides the way they grew up and that's why they get along so well ya know? Anyway as an astrology ho this is my shot at Ed and Stede's top 6 in their charts, shouting it into the void:

Stede-

A lot of fire and air in this one that's just the vibe I get, he's passionate and longs for adventure, he's actually quite clever but can be a little insensitive sometimes, yet somehow also attentive to those he cares about.

Sun- Leo (as stated earlier) I feel like this one needs little explanation (I end up talking more about his sun sign when I compare him to Ed later when talking about Ed's sun, see below lol) Dramatic, theatrical, draws attention, flamboyant, just listing synonyms at this point

Moon- Libra, At first I thought he'd have a water moon bc he can be quite emotional, but I think thats just the outwardness of his Leo placements. he has this ability to set his feelings aside like an air sign, like when he saved the crew even after Ed died, and then went to mourn in private, although he seems dramatic emotionally he has an ability to detach himself, he forgives quite easily which is a trait ive seen a lot in Libra moons, he has a lot of faith in people. His relationships w others are very important to him, an air moon just makes sense w his whim-prone-ness

Rising- Leo (again ik), he's dramatic asf likes to make a theatrical entrance, draws a lot of attention to himself and cares a lot about his appearance, puts on a confident facade over his cripplingly insecure self in true Leo fashion, is a natural entertainer when he starts to get attention in man on fire

Mercury- Libra (again ik I swear I know about more than two signs) , had to be an air sign he can chat and chat and chat, Ed and him can talk for hours they gotta both have air mercurys, he can also be quite charming in his banter like when he charms Anne Bonnie and Hellcat Maggie like he's a little bit of a flirt even when he doesn't intent to be, he can also be so shady and cunty when he wants to tho, like this dude likes to stur the pot as a strategy kind of lives for the drama, he can be quite clever when he's in a pinch and can always talk himself out of a situation, his bullshitting ability is off the charts

Venus- Taurus, at first I thought he'd have like no earth, but I think he's a little bit more practical in love with the way he thought going to China was too fast, He's still a very attentive lover tho, with Taurus ruled by Venus, he offers Ed a lot of comfort, he's very calming to Ed with his presence and very patient with Ed, he's stubborn in love he never gives up on finding Ed/never loses faith in their love, a real romantic w his cheesy poetry in his letters, immediately shows Ed all of his fancy stuff and that's what initially kind of draws Ed to him, got that luxurious appeal that finer things in life swag

Mars- Libra (AGAIN IK, but a Libra stellium just makes sense to me, not trying to make him seem one dimensional I just get this vibe so strong I swear I'm not just going off stereotypes) This man's always solving conflict or being avoident of his problems, like it's always his tactic, like when he turns Neds crew against him by pointing out that they're being treated unfairly. He prefers for things to be harmonious

Ed:

I think this dude is a chaotic concoction of distributed fire water and air, no practical earth in this mf

Sun- Leo. I just think they both have to be Leo's, Ed is just as dramatic and it's like the world seems to revolve around him at times (like the sun, Leo's ruled by the sun, haha) he just gives such strong Leo-ness w this mane he's got (him and Stede both have excellent hair as a defined feature now that I'm thinking about it) and his facade of confidence is just pure Leo. Him and Stede can both get jealous in a Leo way, like when the other gets all the attention. They both can be a little egotistical and can be kind yet also not take others feelings into account before thinking of their own, like being considerate is not always their first instinct.

Moon- Scorpio. MAN does this boy get HURT. He lashes out asf he is so sensitive. Izzy says "Stede" once and gets fucking shot don't u dare point out what this dude is upset about. He feels things so intensely, doing dramatic shit getting emo w it, gets absolutely consumed by his feelings, had to have a water moon he's a whole tsunami. He's not so secretive w how he feels like maybe the average Scorpio moon but I think the Leo brings it out. This is where Stede and Ed have to figure out how to communicate their feelings w this air and water combo but I think Stede's Libra moon takes the time to understand Ed and how he's caused hurt.

Rising- Gemini. Infamous. Regarded as highly skilled "He's histories greatest tactition", u never know his next move, never shuts up, either introducing himself like "hey everybody I'm blackbeard : )" or "I'm the fucking Devil", the talk of the town, been there done that knows everybody

Mercury- Also Gemini. Like I said he never shuts up, him and Stede talk each other's ears off w these air mercurys, always bouncing between topics, good story teller, him and Stede both, he's always fuckin yelling in my experience Geminis r loud talkers. Goes on rants talks like a nut job. And he's sooo so intelligent his brain is going a million miles a minute, good at memorizing information it makes him a good pirate. Geminis get so eclectic w what they know and they're so so clever and witty and snarky "that's blackbeard, I'm Stede remember."

Venus- Pisces. This dude longs for sweet and delicate affection, he's got these princess doe-eyes, fluttering his lashes and shit, he falls fast for Stede, romanticizes shit, he gets lost and infatuated and day dreamy w shit. He imagined Stede as a beautiful mermaid coming to save him for fucks sake. He's a *sighs* and looks out the window yearningly mf. He PINES like no other. Immediately wanted to watch Stede while he sleeps and switch clothes and go to China, an idealist. I think this matches w Stede so well bc Stede's also a romantic, writing letters and shit, Stede butters him up, but Stede had the ability to remind Ed to be a bit more grounded. They're both so tender ugh they both like to comfort each other ugh

Mars- Aries. He can be quite childish and gets set off by one thing, he has a quick temper, outbursts of yelling, like his rage builds up intense and fast and then burns out, like he literally throws tantrums like when Izzy was pestering him about the plan and then he's like "EVERYTHINGS SO FUCKING BORING". when he's angry he's all consumed and murderous. In my experience an Aries Mars is most likely to smash a chair against the wall and throw a Vase, but then forgive after one conversation bc of how fast burning they r like a bomb and then quiet, returning to that childlike play fullness an Aries has, does shit like play knife parade bc that's their sense of fun, spiteful and gets embarrassed, like when he leaves the fancy dinner table like "YOUR ALL PHONIES" and then is like I've gotta shoot all of them.

Anyways if u read all of this (I doubt anyone will) thanks for listening to my shout into the void, if u disagree pls be gentle lol.

[i-heart-hxh]

Hi! I really liked your thoughts on your last post, and if you're willing to answer, what are your thoughts on Gon's feelings towards Killua? I do think it is requited (somewhat) and Killua's feelings are pretty clear at this point. Anyway, it probably could be Gon not realizing what he's feeling towards Killua, or the more popular interpretation of him being oblivious, or even the idea of him being on the aromantic spectrum. I think it's subtly gets lost in everything else that is happening in canon, which disappoints me sometimes because Gon is such a well written character.

Hi anon, thank you so much for asking! I love thinking about the nature of Gon's feelings for Killua, so it's nice to have a chance to talk about it from my own perspective.

The short version of where I keep ending up after thinking about it a bunch for several years now is that I think Gon does have romantic feelings for Killua, but I don't think at this point he recognizes them as such for a few different reasons.

The first is just that they're young, and I don't think he has enough context to see his feelings that way. For one, Killua is his first real friend so I think it might be hard for him to see where the line gets blurry/goes beyond friendship, and with his direct and straightforward personality he's less prone to picking apart all of his feelings than Killua. In Chimera Ant Arc, his innocence is repeatedly emphasized--he thinks going out with Mito counts as a "date," he is good at handling Palm on their date but he seems oblivious about the larger context of dating/having a relationship with someone, he doesn't get what's going on with Killua insinuating that Meruem might have a lover in his chambers, and so on. There's examples of this before CAA as well. I'm just not sure he's reached a point yet where he can distinguish what his feelings towards Killua mean exactly and how they might differ from those of a normal friendship.

I feel like because Killua's feelings become so apparent in CAA and Gon's attention gets directed away from Killua at that point due to all his trauma and pain, people are quick to discount all of Gon's affection towards Killua before that--"キルアじゃなきゃダメなんだ/It has to be Killua," from the dodgeball match in particular is a line with a lot of romantic subtext in Japanese, how hard he fights to get Killua back in the Zoldyck family arc, all the verbal affection he gives him, the fact that he's proud to have him as his friend and that he wants to show him off to Ging, it just goes on and on. Gon clearly thinks the world of Killua and trusts him above anyone else.

And sure, with Gon it's possible to read his feelings as just platonic. I personally think it goes beyond that, both from what I see in canon and my own interpretation. But I do think it's not debatable that Gon loves Killua (in whatever way you choose to see that love), and even in CAA when he's lost in the darkness, we repeatedly see that Killua is the only one who can bring him back from that. He's Gon's last lifeline and the one who means most to him. Killua sees Gon as his light, but I truly believe Killua is Gon's light, too. Even if Gon hasn't said as such like Killua has, this is conveyed metaphorically by Killua saving Gon's life while literally glowing from his electricity.

It's also worth noting that Gon doesn't see so much of what Killua has done for him and how strongly Killua feels about him. This is something we as the audience see multiple times and in multiple ways, but Killua puts up defenses constantly around Gon, deflects his affections, and hides his emotions and what he does on Gon's behalf. I don't think Gon is completely clueless because they're so attuned to each other, but he definitely doesn't have the full context either, so it's not as though he's had a chance to react to Killua's true depth of feelings for him.

Now that he's apart from Killua, this might be a point where Gon starts reflecting on and maybe piecing together how he feels about Killua. It's hard to say what will happen in canon (though I do anticipate an eventual reunion between them for reasons I'll get into in another post), but Ging's words emphasize the importance of the people who are with you on your journey, and with Killua bringing him back from the brink and then the two of them separating, this is a point where I think Gon might start pondering what kind of connection he wants to have with Killua in the future.

I could go on and on about this topic (and there's a good chance I will talk about it more), but I'll stop there for now. Thanks again for asking!

[playroom-sekaii]

hello!! i was wondering if i could request cg rui and little tsukasa headcanons if that's okay :) If not, that's perfectly fine! Thank you for your time!

Ooo I'm on it!! Thank you for the request ♡

-Though he would never admit it, neither while big or while small, Tsukasa's quite a little one, usually regressing to around 2-4 years old. Rui's actually quite good with little kids (we've all seen Pop in My Heart), so he's one of the best CGs for the job!

-Tsukasa's regressions are almost exclusively involuntary, usually if he's stressed, sad, or tired. Rui tries his best to allow him time to feel little whenever he can, seeing as Tsukasa isn't the best at doing so for himself. Sometimes it feels like he end up small almost randomly, or due to feeling safe and happy, and while he's usually a bit embarrassed to admit it during times like these, Rui and the others are there to help their little one feel as happy as possible!

-Out of all of the prsk kids, Tsukasa is probably the most ashamed of the fact he's a regressor. It took so much reassurance from the Sekai vocaloids and the rest of Wonderlands x Showtime for him to stop thinking that being little sometimes made him a failure, an infantile idiot that would never be a star; though he's slowly learning to accept this part of himself he still struggles a bit with thoughts like those. It's still quite common for him to try to avoid regressing, even when he knows he shouldn't, or to try to hide that he's slipped. Thankfully, Rui is quite good at noticing these things in Tsukasa, and he has quite a few tricks up his sleeves to get him to feel small or admit that he is. While his little one always ends up a bit pouty during these times (he was doing just fine, and Rui-nii just had to mess if all up!), he cheers up again soon enough, and when he's big again he notices just how much better he feels after letting himself regress. Maybe being little sometimes isn't that bad...

-The only ones Tsukasa has told about this part of himself are the rest of WxS and his siblings, though out of everyone Rui's somehow managed to become his main caregiver. Maybe it's because of Rui naturally being good at these sorts of things, maybe what he lacks in taking care of himself can be transfered to others (Rui please-), either way Tsukasa's clinginess while small tends to be directed towards him the most.

-Rui had his suspicions that something was up with Tsukasa before he confessed what was happening with him, and once he figured it out he was immediately accepting of it. It could really help Tsukasa's mental health, and he couldn't let one of the wonderful actors under his direction be hurting, right? He's working to do everything he can to be a good caregiver for Tsukasa, even when he insists that he's fine, he doesn't need this special treatment ("Nonsense, this is necessary for our wonderful star to shine is brightest, is it not?" "I-I don't know, it may be, but-" "Then relax, my darling, we're here for you." "...")

-Despite how shy he is about regressing, once he's comfortable little Tsukasa can be just as loud and confident as his usual self. He's bursting to the seams with ideas for games and things to do, anything fun that could help others feel happy. Rui is always willing to go along with his little one's ideas, though he's always extra careful to make sure Tsukasa stays safe (the little guy's somewhat prone to little boo-boos while playing, but Rui's there to help him feel all better whenever he needs it!).

-Of course, this is Tsukasa we're talking about, so his favorite thing to do is come up with shows! While they make not be as revolutionary as his scripts from when he's not regressed, they're just as chaotic yet entertaining. Usually he'll use his stuffed animals as co-stars, though he's sometimes able to have fellow little ones perform alongside him, or even his CGs. Rui and the rest of WxS are some of Tsukasa's most important audience members - not only does he want to make them happy, but he wants the biggest stars he knows to be proud of his work! Every applause they give him makes him feel so smiley and giggly for a while afterwards, he really is a star! Rui sometimes helps Tsukasa write or rehearse for his shows, and sometimes he provides simple practical effects, which never fail to amaze his tiny actor (he's made confetti and sound effects come from basically nowhere, Rui-nii's a magician!)

-Through the power of his robotics and inventions Rui is able to spoil Tsukasa quite a bit. If one of his toys breaks, he's the best person on the job to fix it, Dr. Rui to the rescue! He's even made a special voicebox to put into one of his plushies, if Tsukasa hugs it a recording of him, Emu, and Nene reminds him that they're there for him, they always will be, and they love him oh so much. This gift maybe made him tear up with happiness, and now if Tsukasa ever has to be apart from the others for a while, he makes sure to keep that stuffie with him in case he starts feeling lonely <3

-Lil Kasa is quite stubborn when it comes to letting himself have more "babyish" things when he's little, like sippy cups and such. He's not a baby, he doesn't need them! W-Well, maybe he does want them, but...Rui's working his hardest to show him that it's alright to use these things, they make him happy, and isn't that what being small is supposed to lead to? Even when he denies it, Rui knows Tsukasa wants these sorts of things, and hopes that one day he'll let himself have them without as much of a fight ("Tsukasa-kun, do you want your paci?" "Nn, nn-nn! 'M a big kid!" "Well, I don't think being a big kid should stop you, but that's alright, if you change your mind, it'll be right here for you." "...A-Actually-")

-Tsukasa's actually quite the cuddly small one, and Rui's always willing to provide! Letting him sit on his lap while he works on stuff, sleepy snuggles after a successful show, his tiny star may act like wants to be nothing but independent, but deep down he absolutely hates being alone. He also thrives on uppies, but Rui's the only one out of WxS that can pick him up, so it's not uncommon to find Tsukasa safe and sound in Rui's arms ♡

-Rui absolutely will not take anyone saying anything rude about Tsukasa regressing. While he doesn't know much about his past, he's pretty sure that he's been through a lot, and he deserves to feel happy in whatever way he needs, so if someone says something negative about agere (directed towards Kasa or otherwise) he'll immediately tell them how horribly wrong they are, how cruel it is for them to be making fun of something so harmless, so helpful for so many people. Although, it's mainly Tsukasa himself beating himself up for this, so while Rui clearly isn't as cold in his explanations there, he still won't hesitate to do everything he can to help Tsukasa see that it's alright, he's allowed to be small, there's nothing wrong with it <3

-Tsukasa's definitely a jacket and hoodie thief while little, mainly towards Rui. His clothes are so big on him, they make him feel so comfy and small, he loves it! Rui will never hesitate to give his small one what he's wearing, though he may dramatically act like he's cold later, at which time Tsukasa will give him the biggest hugs he can to warm him up!

[painted-bees]

Question for Bee!: Are any of the cortes trio prone to jealousy?

Like, in general? Or...towards one another? God, I can't imagine it...

For Cortes, I just don't think it's in her emotional library, full stop.

Magritte will celebrate your success no matter how big or small--she doesn't covet other people's rewards or accomplishments in such a way that would lead her to feel jealousy. And when it comes to her relationships, she's always been very open--as long as folks are communicative and nothing is done behind her back, yanno? The honesty is what matters.

I think the most susceptible would be Raf, just due to the nature of his particular bag if insecurities. I'm talking relationship-related jealousy specifically (he's had his fill of accomplishments, accolades, and attention where skill, talent, and profession is concerned, more than enough, too much.). But he saved himself a lot of trouble by just...denying that the thing happening between him and Magritte was anything resembling a committed relationship. And, by the time that it could no longer be ignored, it was because the communicative trust they developed between one another had become so robust, Raf's occasional paranoid/anxiety spiral has a hard time finding purchase with Magritte as a viable source of insecurity or worry [though it can be exceptionally awful when it does]. That tumultuous part of his mind, it seems, isn't even aware of Cortes' existence in his life. Perhaps this is helped by the fact that she seems almost single-mindedly concentrated him and Magritte in her affections.

Both Raf and Magritte can't even pretend to wholly understand what Cortes is about, but they both find quiet amusement in how easy it is for Cortes to captivate literally anyone. Something about her tall, narrow physique, perhaps...that supermodel-esque build commands attention over a whole host of passing admirers...and Cortes is consistently, fantastically aloof to all of them.

[electrosair]

hiiii! hope ur doing well ❤️I'm joining in on the matchup bandwagon as well yippeee

to give you a tiny bit of an idea about my personality, i'm an INFJ 9w1. I tend to be extremely shy, and closed off from people when it comes to talking about myself, as my main focus is on the people themselves and the world around me in general. I like to maintain peace and quiet and help the others around me - but also escape in other worlds through books, video games or fiction.

I'm very emotionally sensitive. I am also prone to overthinking and getting really anxious. It's easy to make me embarrassed too!

generally I don't bother people with my problems because I'd feel really selfish, but I am always willing to help those in need - hell people even come to me for advice, comfort or just to be heard. I kind of tend to neglect myself sometimes, when it comes to my physical energy or emotional well-being.

being social isn't very easy for me and I run out of energy quickly.

I have only a few friends. when I'm around them I tend to have a very positive and pleasant disposition! I actually tend to be a little louder than I normally am, and I've been told that it brings people at ease. also my optimism is seemingly infectious, or so I've been told. the thing is that I'm very optimistic around people, but negative with myself - I'm my own worst critic, I'm very harsh on myself.

I value honesty and I prefer for people to tell me things at face value. I can be blunt most of the time, but I usually read the emotional atmosphere and go easier with my words (sugarcoating most of the time), so I don't hurt the others around me (I tend to gently scold people sometimes). it's hard to make me angry, and also I forgive easily.

I am able to predict outcomes of situations most of the time, and it's helped me a lot (legit feel like I'm able to avoid any dangers fhsjfhd).

my favourite nation is Fontaine! lovely story, music, landscape and characters, and exploration is so fun. as for my favorite element, it has to be anemo!

during my free time I am usually reading about psychology stuff (I love understanding the human mind and people around me in general), playing video games, watching vtubers, watching documentaries (from nature to crime ones), or creating my own artwork, characters and generally just. creating things in my head and living in my own little world when things get too tough for me (its a good way for me to cope).

some fun facts as the cherry on top! I'm a very organized person. my entire room is SUPER organized, neat, super clean. some plushies, manga and books here and there.

I am good in academics, I'm hardworking, and I love animals. cats especially. I'm a sucker for cute things, and I kinda know how to cook. I don't have a lot of physical strength, I'm really weak.

I dedicate myself to those close to me a lot, at this point some people would call a sister figure or a "mom friend" lol.

🙏I hope this isn't a lot. if it is I'm super sorry I tend to ramble plenty;;; anyway make sure to take real good care of urself! sending love ~ ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

you can ramble all you want in my requests 😭

Lyney!

After getting to know you a little better he would make sure to ask you every so often how you've been feeling since he knows that if he doesn't ask you, you won't tell him anything.

He loves when you to start to open up little by little with him, he would try everything so that you can become closer and gain trust with him. One of the things he does is to invite you to the new shows he does, always in the front row so he can surprise you more.

He might even ask you what you would like to see in magic tricks or if you know any, he also wants ideas and would be willing to listen to you and figure out afterwards how he can do it. Lyney would also tell you about some of his own, but always in a discreet way so as not to ruin the moment of the performance for you.

He's probably a person who really appreciates order to have everything go according to plan, so I think you would also be pretty compatible in terms of little personality things like that as well. And the fact that you like cats so much just makes it even better.

[not-poignant]

Hey! I got into your work recently, with Falling Falling Stars (which I adore!!), and quickly jumped into Underline the Black. I was shocked to see Dr. Gary shift to being the main love interest, but I was engaged in seeing this new dynamic with him and Efnisien. Two questions: 1. Gary feels like a different character than in FFS, and I'm wondering what were the sprouts in character traits in FFS tht you expanded in UtB? 2.What would Arden be like in UtB? (Srry if u've answered b4)

Hi anon!

I'm so glad you enjoyed Falling Falling Stars! Funny fact about that, my beta and I actually shipped Gary and Efnisien really hard in the first few chapters, but I knew they weren't end-game and it had to stay professional, so we kind of back-burnered it for over year and then Underline the Black was born.

So we actually saw the huge, huge potential for chemistry even then. Some of the readers did too, and there are actually some comments in the first and second chapters where Dr Gary is present, where people talk about their chemistry and/or shipping them. And some continue to do so as the story goes on!

As for the sprouts, I genuinely feel there are far more similarities between Dr Gary from FFS and Gary from UtB than differences, so I'll just start listing em out.

Both doctors of niche psychology that most psychologists don't really want to go into and/or specialise in.

Both CEOs of Hillview

Both controlling in their personal lives

Both extremely private people who reveal almost nothing about their personal life by preference (this is not just Dr Gary's job in FFS, he's the same with Mika in The Moon is Down).

Both familiar with BDSM and kink

Both enjoy prodding and poking at a person and even deliberately provoking discomfort in them verbally.

Both enjoy trouble-shooting complex issues, but sometimes have significant blind spots and/or become so focused on one thing they miss another.

Both are quick to apologise when they recognise they've done something wrong, and naturally seek to repair a situation

Both are semi-competitive with their colleagues, but also friendly with them.

Both are highly professional, and will use that professionalism as a front to hide their true feelings about a situation.

Both feel extremely strong bursts of empathy or compassion.

Both have a golden retriever named Polly (Efnisien tries to break the glass in the photo of Polly in FFS - this is the scene where Gary says it's Perspex).

Both have practice dealing with volatile situations and people.

Both enjoy topping / dominating others in the bedroom (though they do have other styles, the biggest departure is here, because Gary is a peak alpha in one story and just a tired person in the other).

Both overwork extremely and;

Both need Efnisien to learn how to work more realistic hours for their health.

Both are friends with Henton (and are betrayed by him)

Both prefer structured forms of support rather than spontaneously reaching out for support, though Dr Gary in FFS is more mature here than Gary in UtB is.

Both dress the same way

Both have the same style of talking, and the same way of framing thoughts when they speak.

Both dislike disruptions to their personal life.

Both are very zen about the fact that 'bad things happen in the world' which gives them an unusually large capacity to work in fields where other mental health professionals often don't want to work (omega rehabilitation sciences for Gary in UtB and aberrant juvenile psychology in FFS)

Both have a laconic and dry sense of humour and are not frequently prone to outbursts of emotion or laughter.

Despite being quite 'closed in' on the surface, both can be quite transparent about their emotional state, but not often in a very labile way. So they will calmly state they are sad while feeling sad, instead of tearfully stating it.

I could go on and on and on anon, but to me, you can see that I pretty much see the main departure as being purely biological/hormonal re: Gary being a peak alpha and the changes that have had to happen along that strata.

Otherwise to me, they are both very much Gary!

As for Arden, I suspect he'd be a beta dominant probably living the same kind of life he's living now in FFS!

[kitwilsonsass]

I think the thing that's fucking with my brain the most is the separation of fact and fiction because it's like... we spent years being told that Bray was this unkillable character that would always come back no matter what, and now it's just like...I have to remind myself that in reality he was just a normal guy, it's weird.

It's..... yeah.

Okay - I'm gonna get real wordy and wax poetically and I'm so sorry I'm incapable of just talking and crying like a normal person.

It's like a big old layered burrito of denial on all fronts, right?

Because on the surface, we have a guy who was so young, and that seems so hard to get past in itself. We also have the fact that he was prone to injury at points and disappearing for... months at a time. He had been released and came back, what, a year later? In the meantime there were always a billion headlines with his name, speculating the worst, and it never had any accuracy or mattered. We were always *looking forward* to him returning and he always inevitably did because he had half his career ahead of him still and it always seemed like the best was to come.

And we have all these stories of what a beautiful person he was, a side we roughly knew of but never got to really experience ourselves as an audience.

But the person we saw was, as you said, this unkillable character. Literally unkillable. He told us from day one he could never die and would persist 5000 years from now when *we* were all gone. Because he was this personification of all the darkest bits of humanity and American society come to force us to face our sins. We watched him, silly as it was, get burned alive and come back a shambling heap of melting flesh and be completely restored. He was forever, he was a god, you could always find him and you could never, ever kill it.

And like, as fans, we kindle that kid in us that wants to believe in superheros and villains and we grow over the years with them. We go to events, and we sing his songs, and we thrust ourselves into that role ourselves of characters in a way. Like we were always *his*. Even if you didn't love him, you played into that for his entrance at the very least because it was such an undeniable experience. He talked and you, and every babyface, listened - whether you wanted to or not.

I'll never forget that one match on Raw, still early on, when the whole crowd was first singing "He's got the whole world in his hands" and just swaying, and then turning around and chanting "Bray is gonna kill you." Like, I remember Big E was in that match, and I'm pretty sure he was on the receiving end of that chant. He was over. He was beloved. And the whole crowd was singing hymns and calling for his demise for this literal cult leader that would speak in tongues and Exorcist walk across the ring, holding his heart and smiling with some masked sinister joy at it.

It's really really hard to reconcile he's not actually some biblical force of nature looming over everything and everyone even though we know better. And like, that fan in me that's that eternal kid in a way, is just stomping my feet screaming "but he CAN'T die!"

The end of Smackdown did, and still is, really fucking me up because I kept waiting for the lantern to go out. And like, I couldn't decide if I wanted that. Because on one hand, there's a symbolism there, and a kind of sad beauty, in the light going out. He was with us, and he's gone now, and he can rest (ahahaha I'm going to start crying again). The light fades. But ultimately I'm so glad it didn't go out because A.) I don't think I could've fucking handled it and was already bawling, and B.) It shouldn't go out. Or fade. His spirit of everything he brought to that world should stay with us and with every single performer who goes out there every night and throws their hearts into playing these characters.

And like... maybe, even though it's so hard now, maybe eventually there's comfort to be found in the idea that even though the vessel is gone - *He* will, somehow, always be there haunting us. Because "I have a thousand faces and a million names." We might not see him, but we can choose to believe every time a hero is forced to face their fears that he's there behind it - silently whispering into our ears, willing us on to indulge in every second of it.