#and the exploration of trust is tragic

[juniperpyre]

chapter 37 of the Order of the Phoenix & Love

chapter 37 takes place immediately after harry returns from fighting death eaters and resisting voldemort's possession in the ministry. it takes place immediately after sirius black falls through the veil.

dumbledore finally decides to tell harry the truth of the prophecy and explain the reasoning behind his actions of the last fifteen years. why did he leave harry with his aunt and uncle, to ten years of abuse? he explains:

dumbledore is speaking, of course, of love. love is the ancient magic that lily invokes to save harry, that petunia and dumbledore invoke to protect him after lily's death.

this magic is powerful, perhaps the most powerful, and voldemort's fatal flaw is that he routinely underestimates the power of love. this brings his downfall.

as dumbledore explains his plan to harry, he points out his own missteps, his own flaws.

he cared for harry. he loved harry, and in doing so he acted in a way voldemort could predict and thwart. this is said just a page or two after dumbledore points out that voldemort's flaw is underestimating the power of love. and yet dumbledore's flaw is loving harry too much? is there such a thing as too much love, when lily's unending love for harry protects him fourteen years after her death? is this not dumbledore underestimating love, and using it in half measures, relegating it to the weakness that voldemort expects?

near the end of the chapter dumbledore returns to explaining the power of love:

love is the most powerful force in the world, according to dumbledore, but also his flaw. is this not a contradiction? does dumbledore fear love because it's out of his own control, beyond human intelligence, wonderful and terrible?

like voldemort, dumbledore trusts few people. he speaks to the power of love, yes, but like voldemort he underestimates it's power through being unwilling to wield it himself. dumbledore and voldemort's plans and machinations are interrupted more than once by lily and harry's ability to love. they underestimate lily and harry's powers, draws in on themselves, and trust no one, and they fail.

dumbledore cannot break himself of his fear of love and inability to trust others until his death. i wonder who besides harry may have survived if he could have

[ffc1cb]

i’ve always found it peculiar how during meeting the chargers cutscene the game just assumes your character automatically understands what krem is talking about when he mentions binding (though, granted, it’s all very unsubtle). like, this is a roleplaying game. what if i want to play a character who just doesn’t get it

[jack-kellys]

as astra per aspera wbwbwbw :]

oh, of course :) gotta be shorter cause its for the banggg

Her gaze raises, likely to the window behind him. 

“We can’t stay grounded forever. It’s not in our blood,” she hums. “I trust you to find what you need from all this life you’re surrounded by, all this that inhabits our big world. You’re nearly eighteen, baby, and you have your path… but your father and I- we have to continue ours.”

“But,” Jack breathes, “you’re- you… you’re an artist.”

She laughs, pulling him into her arms. Her hand draws over his head, and Jack squeezes her tightly, as if she could float away at any moment. 

“I am,” she confirms. “Why do you think I have to go back out there?”

[stardustdiiving]

My friend today was like you know fern I think your genshin favs are really funny because to me they’re all very tame green flags that have good vibes and then there’s zhongxiao which everyone hates. And I was like. WELL…..YES….SNUCHFJFJCNC

[xannerz]

i think i might finally just block v*rian completely man i held off on it for so long bc the tags are slow enough as it is, and i was like ohhHhHhh maybe there's a 👌 0.5% chance there will be some cool new fanart that's not featuring the demented OCified fanon version that's just a compressed shitpost jpg of his og character+design from the source material but no, haha, no.

[transclaudia]

its manipulating the situation but dw dw its for love which is also about power because love and power and hurt(what hurt?) they all are similar or close or the same...

[ivanttakethis]

Do you think that maybe… when Mizi was attacking Luka, she was attacking Sua too?

brain vomit....When Mizi sees Sua I wonder if a part of her feels angry for what she did in round 1, in the way Sua haunts her perspective, Mizi sees her as her 'antagonist', and it's her own personal torture having to see her again even when she's gone. In the way Luka was taunting her, reminding her of her own naivety she felt that the Sua holding her face so tenderly was the same, leaving her in the dark for all that time just to let it all crash down on Mizi when the time came, her sacrifice, her betrayal was just that and Mizi is left alone knowing that she and Sua had never been on the same page.

And with that sadness, rage, and overwhelming grief culminated all in one she projects that into her outburst on Luka, for playing with her feelings, pushing her to the limit like this, and on Sua, for not being honest with her in the first place. for abandoning her.

[bootlegspiders]

Hey, so for Watcher fans who may not wanna pay for another subscription or just wanna watch something new here are some other youtubers you should take a look at if you want to get a spook or learn some history

(* = potentially triggering topics covered usually associated with crimes, so be careful)

Ghost Hunting and general spooky vibes:

AmysCrypt - Your typical ghost hunting show with two Australians traveling the world, though I will say they do go to places I've never heard of before and they do very good research. And there are some goofs along with the spooks.

The Ouija Brothers - Two British dudes finding ghosts in England. The vibes are generally pretty chill and it's a good time

The Paranormal Scholar - A mixed bag of all paranormal happenings from ghosts to demons to cryptids and aliens. Sort of an overview to deepdives on various paranormal occurrences. The research is immaculate and their voice is very soothing in my opinion.

Paranormal Quest - Ghost hunting in the US, sometimes goofy sometimes serious, but they do go to some interesting places and some familiar ones too

Weird History:

ObsoleteOddity* - This guy is great, like 80% of the things he covers I've never heard of before. Very atmospheric, fun little visuals, and a large variety of weird events and people for topics.

Georgia Marie* - A little bit of everything, but she focuses on strange things that have happened, lgbt history, true crime, and historical disasters. She covers enough of everything that I'm sure you'll find something

Stefanie Valentine* - I'm not sure if she even posts anymore, but I thought what she was doing was great. Think Vampira or Elvira but for older true crime and ghost stories, I think the latest covered would have been like early 1900s. Idk I just thought it was like a cute spooky lil storytime

Caitlin Doughty or Ask A Mortician* - Pretty sure y'all would know who she is but just in case, she's a mortician who covers topics relating to death! From odd ways people have died, or odd things that have happened to people after they've died. And just odd or tragic things that have happened through history. It's silly, but done with levity and care and respect the topics deserve.

General History:

Part-Time Explorer - Mostly history on ships and ghost towns with the occasional train. Lots of research and interviews, very well done and worth checking out even if it may not be your thing.

History's Forgotten People - Talks about sometimes obscure, or sometimes not, historical individuals. Even if you've heard of the person in the topic, they'll talk on something obscure about that person.

History Tea Time with Lindsay Holiday - A heavy focus on royalty around the world, a generally upbeat dive into historic individuals.

(Or you could always go watch time team, that's an option and it's my guilty pleasure love me some archeology)

True Crime:

There are so many out there, so I'll just recommend two of my favorites

Gabulosis* - She focuses on vintage cases 20 years or older (literally in her opener) and is well researched and respectful. Another one that talks on cases I've never heard of that deserve to be heard.

Mysterious WV* - True crime and missing persons based in the West Virginia area and neighboring states. Idk how to even explain the vibes. This guy is just great please watch him trust me you won't be disappointed.

That's all for now, feel free to add your own recs out there!

[rbrownillustration]

I don’t know how to give a spoiler alert on this website but if I can warn you here it is. This is vague enough though it’s not too much??? Maybe????

Anyways, I saw Transformers: One yesterday and have been thinking about it nonstop ever since. It’s beautiful. Almost perfect. Sensational. 10/10 would recommend please go see it if you have any Transformers love in your bones and even if you don’t. It’s just a good story.

As for the spoilery part, don’t read ahead as I talk about this piece if you don’t want some spoilers.

What kills me about this movie is, yes, Orion and D-16’s friendship, but also Bee and Elita coming together as a team as the four of them. Bee particularly, as it would be assumed he is the youngest and the least experienced in their little group and needs them potentially the most.

I would say there’s a direct parallel you could make between Bee and D-16 throughout the movie. As both of them move from blind loyalty in the status quo to having to accept that the system they live in is set up against them and the power that they trusted is false and vile.

D-16 is a fascinating case of losing trust in anyone and anything because of that betrayal. The movie does a fantastic job of justifying (not excusing) the rise of Megatron and truly emphasizes how tragic of a character he really is, beyond just the violent rebel we’ve gotten used to.

Bee on the other hand shifts quickly to lean on the support and trust of his friends (maybe he is more inclined to as they are literally his only option), and to still hold his faith in Primus and the true Primes, ultimately following Optimus.

Anyways, this illustration I whipped up this evening is in the climax of the film when Sentinel Prime has captured much of the High Guard, as well as D-16 and Bee. D pulls the ballsy move of refusing to kneel to the false Prime. They discuss Megatronus Prime for a bit, Sentinel drawing attention to D’s Megatronus decal. Then Sentinel decides that D-16 should always have a reminder of that dead Prime, and brands a crude likeness of Megatronus on his chest with a laser gun.

Above all else I think that this is potentially the final turning point for D-16. This isn’t the point of no return (see end of film when Sentinel gets his due) but I see it as D-16 losing faith completely in both the true Primes of the past (Megatronus), and the false Prime of the present (Sentinel), leading him straight to the point later where he won’t trust his future to anyone but himself. Not even Orion. I wanted to explore this moment visually so while I was at work the composition for this piece slowly started forming in my head and I knew I wanted to bring both D-16 and Bee into the focal point.

[r-2-peepoo]

I love Anakin as a character but I think Star Wars as a whole needs to be less forgiving of him and his actions and I think Rex is the perfect character to explore this idea.

Rex wants to save his brothers more than anything and we know that he fails and never recovers from the trauma. It was an impossible task but he fought so hard for it. The clones don’t become a thriving community after the Empire falls. Few live to remember their sacrifice or that they were even there to begin with. They’re wiped off the map and that’s it and Rex just has the live with it.

Imagine realistically how you would feel if you were him and you learned that a huge reason why the Empire was even allowed to rise in the first place is because of the man who you trusted, who was one of your closest friends for three years, who convinced you that he thought of you as a person unlike the rest of the galaxy. I wouldn’t ever be able to look past it, and I don’t think Rex would or should either.

Obi Wan considers Anakin metaphorically dead because it’s the only way to cope with the grief.

Ahsoka has a more complicated view of him because of the distance leaving the Jedi order put between them.

Luke is able to forgive him in the only way that is narratively compelling, because he sees him as his father and not as the monster everyone else does.

Leia never forgives him (nor should she) but grows to understand him more over time.

Padme uses her dying breath to vouch for him even if he doesn’t deserve it.

If Rex didn’t forgive Anakin, it would offer yet another perspective. He is someone who loved Anakin, but Anakin is a huge reason why his brothers are dead. Anakin is the one who used his brothers as the tools they had always been told they were to march on the Jedi temple and murder the Jedi, the only allies the Clones ever truly had. Everything that happens during the reign of the Empire, including whatever goes down in the Bad Batch finale, is part of a huge domino effect because of Anakin’s choices. It would be tragic to see their friendship end this way, but Rex’s entire life is rife with tragedy. Ahsoka is the only positive result of his friendship with Anakin left. They only have each other.

I want Rex to be angry at him. Anakin’s actions are abhorrent and to downplay them only does Anakin a disservice as a character and denies his agency. Yes, he’s a victim of Palpatine’s grooming. He is also the perpetrator of a literal reign of terror and there are few groups of people who are bigger victims of the Empire he helped create than the clones.

[achromatophoric]

It’s late night at Nevermore Academy. A quietly seething Enid leads a disheveled Wednesday back to their room.

Wednesday: So you see, mi amor, there was never anything to worry about. I have returned unharmed and Weems suspects nothing, precisely as I had planned. As some would say, “no harm, no fowl.”

Enid: *shuts door and glares at Wednesday*

Wednesday: Not even a smile, Querida? Did you not notice that I made a joke?

Enid: Yes, Wednesday. You were investigating werechickens. Ha. Ha.

Wednesday: Werecassowaries. They are significantly more dangerous and… uh…

Enid: *upgrades to death glare*

Wednesday: *swallows* So. Ah. I did not mean to disturb your sleep. Why don’t we—

For the first time, Wednesday notices the mess on her bed. Feathers and fluff in ghastly mimicry of an animal ruined beyond recognition.

Wednesday: What. What is this?

Dark eyes study the mess, then shift to explore the rest of the scene. They alight upon the bird plush that sits atop her desk. The doll, one of a pair of ravens that Enid gifted Wednesday after their first date, is in its assigned location, but its twin? Missing.

Wednesday: Muninn? Where is— oh. Oh no.

Enid: *watches*

Wednesday: What befell Muninn? Who— *breath catches* —who would perform such an appalling act of vandalism? Why??

Enid: Poor, poor Muney. This is like, so tragic. Ya know, I think I might have an idea of what happened.

Wednesday: You… do? *stares at Enid*

Enid: Sure! You see, I heard from the other stuffies that Muney was being a bad raven.

Wednesdays: Oh?

Enid: Yuppers. Muney was being naughty. Muney had promised his best friend Fenrir that he’d stay out of trouble. *nods towards her bed*

The aforementioned wolf plush is perched atop the pile of its cuddly brethren. Enid pauses for effect, then continues.

Enid: Muney swore up and down that he’d at least like, stop lying so that Fenrir wouldn’t stay up all night worrying about him.

Wednesday: Omission is techni—

Enid: *snarls* Don’t. EVEN.

Wednesday: *shuts the fuck up*

Enid: So what was cute, sweet, and endlessly patient Fenrir supposed to even do? When she discovered that Muney had, once again, broken her promise to KEEP me IN the FUCKing LOOP!

Wednesday: *pales*

Enid: *deep breath* So. Poor little Muney fucked up. Poor little Muney was so proud and thought she was so smart. Now look at her! All bits and pieces. Broken legs, broken body. Her entire supply of exotic poisons, flushed down the toilet.

Wednesday: M-my—

Enid: SHUT IT.

Wednesday: *honest to God cringes*

Enid: Muney is fucking lucky that Fenrir is so damned generous, because, why look that, Hugey is still in once piece. Hugey and her fancy. Antique. Knife collection.

Wednesday: *totally whimpers*

Enid: So if Muney knows what’s good for her, she’ll what?

Wednesday: Sh-she’ll be honest with F-Fenrir and uphold her p-promises.

Enid: And?

Wednesday: And she is tr-truly and deeply sorry for ever worrying her beloved wolf. Mi sol furiosa, upon m-my honor as an Addams, I shall endeavor to never malign your trust again.

Enid: 🤨

Wednesday: … and I love you?

Enid: Aw, Willa! I. Love. You. Too! And of course I accept your apology. C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up and into bed. You look beat!

Wednesday:

[aphroditelovesu]

Awake

❝commission: a oneshot that explores the relationship between y/n and some of the generals and or soldiers. I'm personally torn between a 'Cleitus wakes up' fic. — requested by 💻 anon.

❝ 📜 — lady l: I can't tell if I find this cute or distressing, maybe both? I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 🩶

❝tw: slight angst.

❝word count: 1,670.

It was noisy outside. The soldiers’ voices mingled in a hubbub of conversation, loud laughter, and the sound of clinking glasses; the celebration seemed to grow longer with each passing second, like a wave of rising energy. The tumult could be heard for miles around, for this was a night of celebration — a rare occasion in wartime when everyone had a common reason to celebrate.

Cleitus was alive. Against all odds, even after Alexander's merciless attack, the man had held on. Wounded and exhausted, he now lay in the shadows of the medical tent, the smell of medicinal herbs and aged fabrics permeating the heavy air. It was there, under the care of the King’s own trusted physician, under your care, that he was recovering, his body still vulnerable but his spirit preserved — and, even though unconscious, life pulsed faintly but presently through his veins.

And it was all thanks to you. No one understood exactly how it had happened; how, amidst the chaos and bloodshed, you had managed to save Cleitus. Murmurs of your daring and skill circulated among the soldiers and servants, shrouded in awe and distrust. But the fact was undeniable: he was alive, despite the dire predictions. Although he had not yet regained consciousness, the mere fact that he was breathing was cause enough for celebration.

But while the others celebrated, you remained motionless, sitting in the shadows of the tent, facing the cot where Cleitus rested. The darkness seemed to taper around you, filled only by the regular, fragile sound of his breathing. It was as if a current of anguish was rising through your body, slow and relentless, squeezing your heart with invisible fingers.

He was safe, yes. You had saved him and you knew it. But then, why was there that weight on your conscience, that nagging feeling that something terrible had been done? The memories of history hammered at your mind, insistent. From what you knew, Cleitus should have died at the hands of Alexander. His fate was death that night, a tragic and inevitable part of history. But now everything was changed. You had interfered, diverted the course of time — the natural balance of things had been disrupted.

And it wasn’t just any life you had spared. It was Cleitus, a man who, despite his outward toughness, carried an immense loyalty to the king and, in a way, to you as well. He had stood up for you, protecting you in a situation that would undoubtedly cost you dearly. For that reason, you simply couldn’t allow them to let him die. He was more than just a historical figure to you; he was someone you had learned to respect and consider a friend.

The dilemma seemed to pierce your soul. How could you allow history to take its course, letting someone who was important to you be killed in such a brutal and cruel way?

You couldn't.

It was strange to think about it: history itself had already begun to distort itself before you saved Cleitus, before each of your interventions. Alexander shouldn't have cared about you, much less "proposed" a union that would seal your presence with him forever. It was an unthinkable, dangerous idea that was already altering the course of things.

So where was the real weight of your guilt? Was there any point in questioning your interference now, when that whole era was far from how you knew it from the books? Perhaps Cleitus's destiny had already been changed from the first moment you arrived, from the first look Alexander had given you with an indomitable gleam in his eyes. Perhaps he was saved not only by your hands, but by a new destiny that both of you were creating every day.

Or perhaps it was the work of some sadistic god.

It was no secret that there were rumors in the camp. Whispers ran through the hallways of the tents, escaped from the campfires, were whispered among the soldiers, servants, and slaves. They admired what you had done. In their eyes, you were no longer a foreigner, a barbarian, who had appeared out of nowhere; you were the woman who had faced your own fate to save Cleitus. A feat worthy of honor, worthy of respect.

These men, so accustomed to the brutality of battle, who saw death as an inevitable companion, now looked at you with a mixture of awe and reverence. It was as if, in a single action, you had earned everyone's respect, an almost heroic figure to those who, not long ago, didn't even know your name.

But this admiration only deepened the knot in your chest. What they saw as heroism, you saw as a mistake, a misstep that could trigger unimaginable consequences.

"(Y/N)?" The hoarse, slurred voice cut through the silence, bringing you back to the present like a blow of reality. Your heart skipped a beat, and your eyes widened as they fixed on Cleitus's figure.

He was awake.

Still pale and visibly weak, Cleitus half-opened his eyes with effort, blinking a few times as if trying to adjust to the soft light that filtered through the sides of the tent. There was a vague confusion in his gaze, a mixture of pain and astonishment. It was clear that he was still recovering, the features of his face carrying the exhaustion of someone who had fought between life and death.

For a moment, you stood paralyzed, unable to find words, while he tried to focus his vision on you. Each second seemed like an entire universe, filled with emotions that you could barely name.

"I..." Your mouth went dry and you shook your head. You didn’t know what to say, what to feel.

Cleitus, his expression grim, tried to stand up, but the movement made his entire body protest. A low groan escaped his lips, his face contorting as he pressed a hand to the wound. Still closed and bandaged, but far from healed, the pain was still a vivid reminder of the attack by the man he admired.

"Don't strain yourself, Cleitus." You murmured, almost without realizing it, instinctively reaching out to grab his shoulder and stop him from moving any further. Your touch seemed to calm him, and he relaxed back against the cot, the muscles in his face softening slightly as he tried to catch his breath.

Cleitus's dark eyes locked with yours, a silent, contemplative weight in his gaze. He sighed, a long, weary sound, as the fragments of the past rearranged themselves in his mind, forming the painful mosaic of that fateful night. The banquet, the laughter, the lively conversations, the rich and fragrant food, the unexpected announcement of the wedding... And then, the chaos. The violent attack, the betrayal that had almost cost him his life.

Cleitus frowned, his eyebrows drawing together in an expression of sincere concern as he studied your face. "Are you okay?" His voice, still weak, carried a concern that made him ignore his own pain for a moment. Even after everything he had suffered, there he was, worrying about you.

The question took you by surprise. He, who had almost lost his life, was there asking if you were okay. For a moment, you wanted to laugh, perhaps to ease the weight of the situation, but the sound got stuck in your throat.

"I..." You hesitated, trying to find an answer that didn’t sound absurd. It was a simple question, but it seemed to carry all the weight of the guilt and doubts that hammered in your mind. You had defied fate, broken the lines of what was supposed to happen and, in a way, you were feeling lost amidst the whirlwind of consequences. And now, with Cleitus looking directly into your eyes, this barrier of defense seemed increasingly fragile.

"I... Just wanted to make sure you were okay." You finally said, your voice barely above a whisper.

He stared at you for a few more moments, absorbing your words, and then nodded slightly, as if he understood something that not even you had fully understood.

Cleitus took your hand in his and squeezed it lightly, your fingers gently touching. Cleitus touch was warm and firm, despite the evident weakness. He wrapped his hand around yours, his fingers squeezing yours gently, almost reverently. The warmth that radiated from his touch seemed to dissolve, even if only for a brief moment, all the tension you had been carrying since that chaotic night.

Cleitus smiled, a genuine smile full of gratitude, which lit up your tired face, softening the lines of pain and fatigue. It was a smile that spoke more than any words could. He didn't need to know everything that moved you to thank him — all the fears, the doubts, and the guilt you still carried for having interfered.

"Thank you." He said, and that was enough.

A soft laugh escaped your lips, and you smiled back at him, feeling the tension slowly dissolve from your body. For the first time in so long, you felt light, a sense of peace and happiness nestling in your chest. Amidst the chaos, the battles, and the uncertainties of being lost in a time that wasn't yours, there was finally a safe haven.

"That's what friends are for, isn't it?" You murmured, your smile widening. The word seemed to vibrate with a special meaning, something rare and precious in that place. Friends.

Amidst a time full of uncertainty, distrust, and danger, you had found something as simple and profound as friendship. He smiled in response, and in that moment, all the confusion, the weight of decisions, and the uncertainties about the future seemed to disappear. Cleitus was more than a warrior or a character from a distant story; he was your friend, someone who cared, who had risked everything for you.

And now, in the midst of all this madness, you had done the same for him. And, you knew now, you would do it all again.

[analysisiinternet]

Yandere Headcanons for Thaddeus from “Killer Peter”

(note: why do they always make the villain hot i saw no headcanons or fanfics of him or "x reader" so I decided to do a headcanons yes red is my favorite color)

1. Obsessive Affection With his complex personality, Thaddeus exhibits an intense and obsessive form of affection towards those he cares about. His love is not a gentle fondness; it borders on an all-consuming passion that can quickly spiral into possessiveness. He meticulously keeps track of every detail about the object of his affection, whether it’s their daily routines, favorite foods, or even their friends and acquaintances. This obsession drives him to protect them at all costs, leading to a darker side where he might resort to extreme measures if he feels threatened by anyone who comes too close.

2. Jealousy and Paranoia Thaddeus’s yandere nature manifests prominently through his jealousy. He cannot stand the thought of anyone else getting too close to you the one he loves. This jealousy often leads him down a path of paranoia, where he imagines scenarios in which his beloved(you) is unfaithful or is in danger due to others’ intentions. He may confront perceived rivals with a chilling calmness that belies the storm brewing within him. His jealousy can escalate quickly, transforming him from a caring partner into someone who will go to great lengths—potentially violent—to eliminate any threats.

3. Duality of Personality One of the most intriguing aspects of Thaddeus’s character is his duality. On one hand, he can be charming and charismatic, drawing people in with his wit and intelligence. On the other hand, there lies a darker side that emerges when he feels betrayed or threatened. This duality makes him unpredictable; readers are left guessing whether they will encounter the sweet Thaddeus or the cold-hearted protector at any given moment. This unpredictability adds layers to his character and keeps readers engaged as they explore how far he might go for love.

4. Manipulative Tendencies Thaddeus possesses a keen intellect that allows him to manipulate situations to his advantage seamlessly. He knows how to play mind games with both friends and foes alike, often using charm and persuasion to bend others to his will without them realizing it until it’s too late. His manipulative nature extends even to his beloved(you) he may create scenarios that make you dependent on him or isolate them from their support systems under the guise of protection.

5. Dark Romantic Gestures In true Yandere fashion, Thaddeus expresses his love through darkly romantic gestures that may seem sweet on the surface but carry sinister undertones upon closer inspection. For instance, he might surprise his beloved with gifts that have unsettling origins—like items taken from those who have wronged them—or orchestrate elaborate dates in secluded locations where they are completely alone and away from prying eyes. These gestures serve as both declarations of love and warnings: no one else can have them.

6. Unwavering Loyalty Despite his darker tendencies, Thaddeus embodies unwavering loyalty once someone has earned his trust and affection. He would go above and beyond for those he loves, often placing their needs above his own desires—even if it means making morally questionable choices along the way. This loyalty can be both comforting and terrifying; while it provides a sense of security for those close to him, it also raises questions about what boundaries he might cross in the name of love.

7. A Tragic Backstory To fully understand Thaddeus’s yandere tendencies, one must consider a potential tragic backstory that shapes who he is today—a past filled with betrayal or loss could explain why he clings so tightly to those he loves now. Perhaps early experiences taught him that love is fleeting or conditional; thus, when he finds someone worth loving again, he becomes desperate to keep them safe and never let them slip away.

 Clingy Yet Charismatic:

Once Thaddeus develops an attachment to someone, he becomes incredibly clingy. He thrives on their attention and affection, often showering you with compliments and small gifts that seem innocent at first glance—like handmade trinkets or baked goods. However, this clinginess quickly escalates into possessiveness. He believes that anyone who gets too close to his beloved must be eliminated or kept at bay, leading him to orchestrate elaborate schemes to isolate you from potential threats—friends, family members, or even romantic interests He will go out of his way to be near you often inserting himself into your daily routines under the guise of wanting to help or spend time together. 

warning: a lil NSFW(if your comfortable with NSFW you may read if not don't read this)

how would he be in bed-

he would definitely be dom or switch he would do it rough such as if you told him to go slow he would go faster thrusting inside you I don't even know why yall create a safeword he would be the type to call you "good girl your taking me so well~ "while he is fucking you from behind and whispers in your ear "your fucking mine" I feel like he would make jokes while yall are doing it (it is a canon at this point) he would purposely gag you on his dick while your giving a blowjob and laugh about it, I just know if he is good at martial figthtin he is good with fingers

Aftercare-

he would be the big spoon putting you to his chest as she cuddles you and he would act all innocent and shits and he would say how would a good job you did pleasing him as he kisses you smiling at you pullin' closer to him his hand is on your waist, he would make you a bath for him and you can wash off(there might be a round 2) but after all he is clingy don't get me started on him kissing all over your face telling you how much he loves you (he might be a villain but he would hug me if I was sad)

Thaddeus’ hugs become more frequent and enveloping as the relationship develops, offering a sense of security. Kisses exchanged in these early days are tender and sweet, leaving a lingering warmth that hints at deeper feelings. You might notice small tokens of his affection—a favorite snack he brings you or a shared playlist that reflects your growing bond.

His kisses transform into fervent expressions of desire—more passionate and demanding than before. Thaddeus seems insatiable, always wanting more closeness and connection. Love bites become a playful yet possessive mark of his affection, signifying that you belong to him in this chaotic world.

Cuddling Dynamics At home or during quiet moments together, Thaddeus often plays the big spoon role during cuddling sessions. He wraps around you protectively, creating a cocoon where you both can escape from reality for a while. This nurturing side reveals his softer nature beneath the tough exterior he often presents to the world.

(note: comment who yall want me to do headcanons for the next post you can either text me or ask in the box but I would prefer if you text me instead if you read all of this thank you so much and reblogged this)

[animebw]

I've seen Kimi ni Todoke get pigeonholed a lot as a sweet, fluffy series that's nothing but good vibes. And to be sure, this show is sugary sweet to a truly dangerous level. Every second I spend with Sawako and Kazehaya feels like I'm putting myself at risk of some yet undiscovered Type 3 Diabetes. But reducing Kimi ni Todoke to its fluffiness leaves out just how wrenching it can be. It may not be as raw an emotional wound as Fruits Basket's exploration of abuse, but there is a deep, aching agony at the heart of this show just as palpable as its sweeter moments. And it comes from understanding one very basic fact: the greatest sources of happiness in our lives are able to cause us even greater pain.

Throughout this story, Sawako's most painful moments don't come as a result of bullies or tragic strokes of fate. They come because she cares about someone so deeply that the thought of losing them- or worse, hurting them with her mistakes- becomes impossible to bear. Not just with Kazehaya, but with Chizu and Ayane in the first arc when their budding friendship is almost shattered and they realize how much they've come to love each other that the thought of losing each other hurts this much. Same for Kurumi's feelings for Kazehaya, or Chizu's feelings for Ryu's brother, and all the other crushes that go unspoken for so long. To love someone in Kimi ni Todoke means to leave yourself vulnerable, to accept the possibility that things will go wrong and this thing that's so special to you will shatter like glass in your hands. To love is to open yourself to agony; to agonize is proof that it's love at all. It's a pain the characters risk again and again, because the connections they've forged are too precious to give up on.

And nowhere is that idea more strongly expressed than Ryu and Chizu's backstory. Seeing how deeply entwined their lives have been, how tragedy and suffering have shaped them, how they've both actively chosen again and again to be there for each other through thick and thin... god, I don't think this show's ever made me cry this hard before. Just the image of Chizu making rice balls for Ryu over and over again to try and replace the hole his mother's death left was enough to make me lose my shit. Never mind seeing Ryu actually cry for the first time. Time and again, the only option they have is hurt with each other, to sink into suffering together and carry each other to the other side. But they make that choice regardless, because they will be fucked if they leave the other to drown alone. Their bond is more than a childhood friendship, or even a burgeoning romantic relationship. It's a connection as essential a part of their lives as eating and breathing, a fundamental truth of their shared existence that they willed into being.

And it's no wonder that Chizu is terrified of losing that after Ryu confesses. How dare he stab a spike through everything they've been through? How dare he shatter their status quo and leave them unable to return to that part of their lives? But once again, all that is just Ryu choosing, once again, to face the pain that comes with loving someone head first, accepting the risk that things will never be the same... in hopes that something entirety new can still be born from its ashes. It's him putting his faith in what he and Chizu have together, trusting that no matter what, they are too important to each other to let go even in waters this stormy. It is, quite frankly, as powerful and honorable an expression of love as I've seen in a very long time.

This show is really fucking good, you guys.

[nexadarling]

Trigun Fics

Here I am compiling all my fav Trigun fics, from heart wrenching to fluffy, and everything in-between. Mostly Vashwood! This is a living document and is updated regularly ^.^

(Explicit fic recs are listed separately due to link limitations in Tumblr posts)

Organized by rating > word count > status. Any fic that features "+" after the word count is on-going/uncompleted. As they finish, I will add the final word count.

Please tag an author if I haven't! I tried to find them all, but there are a couple I couldn't/wasn't sure about

Special shoutout to the YAT and Pen Pal Discords for providing so many of these (and writing several)

Read the tags, you know how it goes! And feel free to leave your own recs as well!

Waiting for me (Waiting for you) by @mariadperiad20 - 8k; Vashwood; Not Rated;Trimax/98; Soulmate AU; The Eye of Michael took Wolfwood's soulmate mark, but they can't take his soulmate; Fuck, god, okay... wow I had so many emotions reading this?? Wolfwood's self-hatred is piloting this whole thing he has so many feelings and he thinks Vash deserves so much better than him GOD

sandgrouse by Evercovi - 4k; Vashwood; G; 98 verse I think? Could also be early Trimax; Vash's birthday is coming up and Wolfwood is stressed about getting him the perfect present; They're so stupid! They're so cute!! The author's note at the end killed me in one sentence!!!!

Polyguns Presentation Night! by WateredMyCrops ( @what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 7k; Polygun; G; Modern AU; Milly notices her partners are shy about talking about things they love, so she sets up a surprise presentation night for them

kindergarten crush by @jumpinginmuddypuddles - 12k; Vashwood; G; Modern AU; Kindergarten Teacher Vash; Wolfwood's little brother (Livio) is in Vash's class and oh no the teacher is really cute

a promise or a threat by  @beelzebby666 - >1k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Super short, but an exploration of a visceral love and trust between Wolfwood and Vash; Wolfwood wouldn't stop Vash from hurting him, but Vash never would

your touch, your glance, your hand by @procrastinating-bookworm - 1k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; much needed comfort for Wolfwood, on account of the hell his wrist goes through carrying that stupid cross

Miracles and Other Blunders of Providence by @aboxthecolourofheartache - 1k; Gen; T; Tristamp; Vash is delirious after Nai cuts off his arm, and Luida tries to comfort him; whump

the secret about that boy by puphf - 1k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU- College; You ever sit in your college class, bored, and think "huh wouldn't it be funny if there was a mind reader in here?" Vash does that, except his crush is the one who can read minds; this is tragically short, but it's so cute and silly I had to add it

Marked by Dozycerberus - 1k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; A short look into Wolfwood's mark from the Eye of Michael and his relation to it in different Trigun canons

hold you through the night until you smile by @fionanotjuliet - 2k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; wing grooming ❤️❤️

Never Let Me Go by Puffls ( @whimsicmimic) - 2k; Vashwood; T; Transistor AU; rewrite of the opening cut scene of the game Transistor; Vash is a singer, Wolfwood is his body guard; Wolfwood ends up in the Punisher; no I don't know how it works, yes I think it's cool as fuck; (edit: I have now played Transistor and can confidently say not only do you have to read this, you should also play Transistor for maximum emotion)

built to die here by @jes12321 - 2k; Vashwood; T; Soulmate AU; Soulmate worries show up on your skin. Vash doesn't think he deserves his soulmate

oceans to drown in by @hashtagcaneven - 2k; Stryfewood; T; Pirate AU; Captain Meryl challenges Wolfwood to a sword fight to earn a place on her ship, the most sexually charged sword fight follows; Vash is a siren in this which isn't super important to the plot but it is important to me; Kuro you have the honor of being the only Stryfewood fic on this list lol

you know i tell the truth (we are just the same) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 2k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; After the Ark, Vash and Wolfwood talk about what they've been through to become what they are. Or, you know, as much as they talk about anything; I am shaking these two and begging through tears for them to get their shit together just once

Sanctuary by @thechaoscryptid - 2k; Vashwood; T; Tristamp; T4T; Vash knows the violence that has created Wolfwood, but he also sees the care and gentleness of Nicholas; Pleeaasseeee they're so soft here, taking care of each other even though things suck I fucking love them

in the afterglow of an isolated heart by the14thmusician - 3k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; touch-starved Vash gets emotional after an unexpected hug, Wolfwood talks him through it

the heaviness we've known by CosmicJourney ( @cosmictapestry) - 3k; Gen; T; Tristamp; Brad fixes Vash up after the events of the sandsteamer and tries to do right by his kid; I'm not gonna lie, this one hurts. It fucking hurts a lot and it doesn't get better at the end, but it's still filled with such sweetness. Just, watching someone you consider your son be Vash the Stampede is never going to be easy

your pride like water in your lungs (drowns all the words it stole) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 3k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Wolfwood helps Vash deal with his phantom limb pain; please god there is much emotion in this tiny little fic Vash why are you like that please just kiss the man!!!!!

Straight Edge of Intimacy by @bendycxmet - 3k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Wolfwood gets them run out of a town, and Vash asks him to help him shave to make it up to him; The tension, the pining... the not-so-casual intimacy of shaving someone's face... I am eating this Whole

i am a diamond on the inside (just add the pressure) by @sascake - 4k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; Soulmate AU; tattoos show up on your soulmate, Wolfwood has A Lot, Vash kind of loves it

i went too far (when I was begging on my knees) by @flowercitti - 4k; Vashwood; T; reincarnation through the different Trigun versions; soulmates; this is beautifully poetic and achingly sad

walking in your landscape by @pushclouds - 4k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; Vash takes a vacation trip to a farm and meets cowboy Wolfwood

tell me why your hands are cold (show me how) by desertblooms - 4k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Sick fic; Whump for both of them honestly; Vash uses too much power at once and makes himself dangerously sick, Wolfwood is left to desperately try to keep him alive; This hurts, the way that Wolfwood needs Vash is so obvious in every one of his actions

proximity by @corvidrogue - 5k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Touch-starved Vash has trouble accepting physical affection from anyone but Wolfwood

touch me like nobody else does (lovely) by @flowercitti - 5k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Vash tries to get rid of his wings, Wolfwood grooms them for him; pretty big self harm cw for the beginning of this

Guardian Angel by @hypermoyashi - 5k; Vashwood; T; Post-Trimax; A year after the events of Trimax, Vash hears Wolfwood's voice; Let this fic be known as how to cry in less than 5k; this is very bittersweet, but it is precious and so worth a read

not to me, not if it's you by tickyicky - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Wolfwood struggles to help Vash through the aftermath of being run out of a town he tried to help

but to me, the comet brings no fear (no, i gaze joyfully) by haveloved ( @markcampbells) - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax/Post-Trimax; When a comet comes across the sky once every 50 years, it is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for most people. For Vash, it is a reminder; When I tell you I cried, that I sobbed reading this I am being so fucking serious. Trai does such a wonderful job exploring grief and mourning and Vash's anger and loneliness; and it's Vashwood, but it's not really about them, it's about so much more and anyway I'm gonna go lay down and cry into a pillow thanks

Non-Threatening Touch by saturninesunset - 6k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; Touch-starved; Wolfwood loses track of where they stand with each other when they start sharing a bed to help with nightmares. Vash crosses some lines; This is so cute????? I'm screaming???? All of my ailments have been fixed pls shove this in your face immediately

i have a heart made for taking flight by corvidcaper ( @not-miss-marple) - 8k; Vashwood; T; 5+1; Creature Vash; Vash accidentally courts Wolfwood like a bird. It takes them a while to figure out; PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE

to god, who i hate so much by @skittidyne - 9k; Vashwood; T; Trimax; A close call forces some feelings into the open in a way that nobody involved is ready for; God, jesus fucking christ, this one is all about the vicious co-dependency of Vashwood and it hurts and they love each other so fucking bad; maybe have some fluff prepared to read after this one

lost in the sugar rush by @pushclouds - 10k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - Coffee shop; Wolfwood falls for the cute barista; Nai and Wolfwood have coffee-based standoffs; I was giggling to myself through this whole thing

absol(utely) obsessed by @earlgay-milktea - 11k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Vash is president of the Pokemon society, Livio is a huge Pokemon nerd, and no one here is normal; this is pure silly, goofy fun and it made me smile so much. They're so stupid I hate them. They deserve the world

whose woods these are (i think i know) by intimatopia ( @ciaran) - 13k; Vashwood; T; Fairytale AU; Prince Wolfwood; Suspiciously magical(?) Vash; Vash runs from what he wants as per usual, Wolfwood just wants to know he'll come back

Cheap and Cheerful by AllegedlyAnnie ( @niftyanswersorryiasked) - 13k; Vashwood; T; AU but still on NML; Vash answers a help-wanted ad for an orphanage in need of a handyman, Wolfwood sees through his bullshit in every universe; this might be the most 98/Trimax characterization I've read so far. Their banter is perfect!!!

Sentido by @orcelito - 19k; Vashwood; T; Canon-verse; Vash's relationship with each of his senses, as an inhuman Plant with incredibly advanced senses. Spoiler, it's not always pleasant

ghosting by @orcelito - 22k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - early 2000s; T4T; Vash owns a B&B that he's pretty sure is haunted, Milly and Meryl convince Wolfwood to exorcise the ghost for him. Wolfwood is not an exorcist; I injected this directly into my bone marrow actually; Wolfwood and Vash are so outrageously down bad for each other, I love them; This also deals beautifully with just the grieving process in general. I wanna give Vash such a huge hug

Strap the Wing to Me, Death Trap Clad Happily by Rayawastaken - 24k; Mashwood; T; Canon-verse; pure 100% hurt/comfort centered around Vash's wings and general eldritch horror-ness

Malediction by @revenantpoet - 28k; Vashwood; T; Mythology AU; Sun-god Wolfwood; Moon-god Vash; Wolfwood finds a poor creature locked away, and something about it tugs at him; Hell yeah sun god Wolfwood!!!! He's so warm and caring he gets to be the sun!!!!; This is genuinely so beautiful and the world building is just!!! So lovely!!!!

ritornello by allandnothing - 29k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Demi Vash; Seeing Vash renders Wolfwood entirely useless, Livio makes fun of him for it (that's it that's the fic); the tone and humor of this had me on the fucking floor. Might be a new comfort fic

Calendula by @a-bi-disaster-writing - 32k; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - College; Vash works at the greenhouse, Wolfwood works at the college daycare. He takes a tiny Rollo to visit the greenhouse and promptly falls in love

with you, the sun rises slowly by @beesinspades - 33k; Vashwood; T;  Modern AU; Wolfwood's cute neighbor loses his apartment to a fire, so he spontaneously offers to let him stay at his place while the damage is repaired; Asexual Vash!! I really like how the author handled Vash's sexuality here, and especially Wolfwood's reaction to it. It felt real (Beelio I love your ace Vash tysm)

an odious damned lie by @riverenne - 47k; Gen with a heavy splash of Vashwood at the end; T; His Dark Materials/The Golden Compass x Trigun AU; Alternate Timeline AU; Takes place on NML, roughly in the (altered) Tristamp timeline; Good GOD I cannot possibly recommend this enough! The writing is beautiful, the daemons are perfect, and the exploration into the characters and their relationships is so!!! Amazing!!! Read it, just read it, please

Gunsmoke - A Coffee Shop/Mafia AU by evil_moo_bunny - 13k+; Vashwood; T; Modern AU - Coffee shop; Vash works at a coffee shop, Wolfwood works for redacted, Meryl and Milly work also redacted at the coffee shop with Vash, everyone has secrets, and Milly is a wonderful matchmaker; This is a series, but I didn't want to link both works separately

if you're looking for a sign: this is it by @elemmacil - 33k+; Vashwood; T; Modern AU; "Nicholas D. Wolfwood has taken over sign duty for Saint Michael’s. Across the street, Vash Saverem is giving out free hugs."; This is so freaking funny and cute and I am frothing at the mouth for more of it

the monster in the ruins of ship five by @beesinspades - 48k+; Vashwood; T; Tristamp; Creature Vash; After Julai, Wolfwood searches for Vash. What he finds is a creature in the shell of a spaceship; VASH GETS THE ZOOMIES; this version of creature Vash is so delightful, Wolfwood's inner monologue is perfect, Sheryl and Lina are The Best

whispers (of the damned) by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 2k; Vashwood; M; this is just... a Moment of the two of them being so tired but so in love and glad to have not lost each other yet again

all the blood that you still owe by @procrastinating-bookworm - 4k; implied Mashwood; M; Tristamp; Tristamp Wolfwood takes too many vials, and Vash and Meryl try their best to take care of him

Like Petals in a Storm by @maadskittlez29 - 5k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse Hanahaki AU (w/ a happy ending of course); When Wolfwood realizes what's happening to him, he resolves to hide it from Vash as long as he can, then leave when things are too bad to handle. Of course, things don't exactly go to plan

if only the rain were gasoline by halfdemonvash - 5k; Vashwood; M; Wolfwood takes a bullet for Vash. Emotions ensue; god I have so many of this author's stuff on my lists lol if anyone knows their tumblr pls tell me so I can tag them? I clearly love their writing

you can spend all your love making time by Anonymous- 7k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax fix it (this is my new canon)

you are my religion and my religion is you by reddiextozier - 7k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Vash confesses his thoughts to his priest; I do think this should really be E, but regardless it's a really fun read. This fandom has given me a penchant for vw fucking in confessionals whoops

wild horses couldn't drag me away by littleghost ( @ghostlandtoo) - 8k; Vashwood; M; Wild West AU; Wolfwood's POV of a kind heart to haunt (E)

white pony by tagteamme ( @phaltu) - 10k; Vashwood; M; Vampires and Demons AU (but still on NML); Vash comes into town searching for a "creature of the night," Wolfwood is the crux of the community as the charismatic priest

Something Fruity, Something Sweet by frankiesin ( @wolfwoodweddingdress) - 11k; Vashwood; M (I think it should be E tho); Modern AU - Coffee shop; Vash is a Starbucks customer with an insane sweet tooth, Wolfwood is just fucking in love with him

Someday out of the Blue by @tenshinokorin - 11k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax/reincarnation AU; 100 years after the end of Trimax, Vash runs into a man with the same name and face as his Wolfwood; I put off reading this for so long cause I knew it would make me sad. And it did! But it was also so cute and sweet and warm. And also thinking about it makes me want to cry, but read it anyway pls

his keeper by princecl0ud - 11k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; Vash disappears after a skirmish and is gone so long that the gang starts to give up, but Wolfwood can't let him go so easily; Vash had no clue anyone would be so dedicated in looking for him

Gun to a Bar Fight by ValiantRose ( @sleepyartcryptid) - 11k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; VW get caught up in a bar fight and kind of maybe feel stupidly drawn to each other; shaking these dumbasses they're so cute I hope they get married

Shoot the Moon by @hypermoyashi - 14k; Vashwood; M; Canonverse; Wolfwood Whump; Wolfwood has to make some not very safe decisions to break Vash out of his creature/Plant state; "the existential horror of being in love with a nuclear reactor" is my new favorite tag; Vash gets so upset about hurting Wolfwood and Wolfwood is so intentional with his love in this, I adore them

Black is the Color by @tenshinokorin - 15k; Vashwood; M; Post Trimax fix-it/resurrection; Three years after the events of Trimax, Vash realizes his hair is coming back in blond. He also realizes he's not as alone as he thought he was; I bought a poster of fanart for this, is how much I love it. In case you were wondering

I Believe in the Kingdom Come by @tenshinokorin - 17k; Vashwood; M; Sequel to Someday out of the Blue; Post Trimax fix-it/reincarnation AU; Vash and Nick are still together, though they both have their secrets. Wolfwood is closer than anyone realizes

i know i'm known for giving love away by molotovhappyhour - 18k; Vashwood; M; Post-Trimax; Wolfwood stays at a haunted house in the middle of the desert to try to get rid of the spook; The spook is not, in fact, very good at being spooky... and something feels familiar about it, he just can't quite recall why....; This made me wanna cry for so many good reasons, holy shit! And such good story telling UGH

i sought him whom my soul loved by molotovhappyhour - 20k; Vashwood; M; Vash doesn't age, but Wolfwood is reborn after every life and at every time is hit with the full force of his past lives. He always seeks out Vash; crying in the club about this one! Fellas is it gay to search the planet time and time again in every lifetime for the same person? To wait every time to be found, never knowing when that time may be? I hate it here

Figure Me Out by WateredMyCrops ( @what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 33k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; 5+1 of Vash being inhuman and Wolfwood showing him he doesn't care; really check the tags on this one

Entertaining Strangers by @deludedfantasy - 41k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Fiber Artist Vash; Guardian Angel Wolfwood; Wolfwood is sent to the human world to find a child to protect, but instead he meets Vash, who lets him stay in his home and takes care of him; So nice to see angel Wolfwood, and I really loved how it was done; Seeing Wolfwood's care for those around him is precious

Kill Me With A Smile by @ShyKokiriMouse - 43k; Vashwood; M (treat this like it's E, it does contain explicit sex scenes); Tattoo Artist Vash; Florist Wolfwood; Spanish speaking Wolfwood; Wolfwood works next to a tattoo shop and is intrigued and confused by Vash, who always seems to cover his tattoos; First of all I am a tattoo artist Vash truther, thank you very much; This is my favorite VW flavor!!! Both pining, Wolfwood so hopelessly gone he can't stop himself, and Vash incredibly emotionally constipated

Open Me Up by WateredMyCrops (@what-immortal-hand-or-eye) - 47k; Vashwood; M; Canon-verse; part 2 of Figure Me Out, but this time Wolfwood gets Known; for real, check the damn tags

Fatherhood Looks Good on You by frankiesin ( @wolfwoodweddingdress) - 62k; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Roommates; Social worker Wolfwood; Vash comes to Wolfwood with a desperate plea to help him adopt two children, and Wolfwood has never been good at saying no to the man he's in love with

Aces in Space by @hypermoyashi - 70k; Vashwood; M; Sci-fi AU; Royalty AU; Prince Vash; Childhood friends; Demi Vash; Greyace Wolfwood; Wolfwood has long accepted that prince Vash is dead, no matter how hard Knives tries to find him. But when a stowaway on his ship looks very much like Vash might at this age... it gives him an idea; Listen I love Moya's writing, their world-building, Meryl and Milly's whole existence!!! And the budding relationship for Vashwood is so, so precious

Make Light Work by @hypermoyashi - 77k; Vashwood; M; Tristamp; T4T; Vash wakes up with severely impaired vision and has to learn to adapt; The description of this as Vash navigates his world with barely any ability to see is honestly just so fucking good

home is just a room full of my safest sounds by halfdemonvash - 29k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Neighbors; Wolfwood takes in a cat only to find her rightful owner lives literally across the hall from him. He gets too attached to both of them very quickly; cat dad Wolfwooooooddd!!!! And him and Vash are so cute and Kuroneko is a little shit I love her so much

Cryptobotany - The Study of Plants That May or May Not Exist by @puffinpastry - 61k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU - Appalachia; Creature Vash; Wolfwood and Livio find a creature? person? that has crash landed in the forest and can't bring themselves to leave him there. Especially not with evidence of a harsh past on his body; okay okay LOOK I know I'm so biased about creature Vash but this is so good okay the world building and Vash's characterization and KNIVES!! CHRONIC ILLNESS WOLFWOOD

The Courtship of Nicholas D Wolfwood by @screamingshark - 107k+; Vashwood; M; Modern AU; Mermaid AU where Plants are mermaids and working with humans in research facilities; Wolfwood is a new security guard at the institute where Vash and Nai reside. Vash decides to court the hell out of him (no one thinks to inform Wolfwood that that's what's happening)

In the Next Life by @orcelito - 109k+; Vashwood; M; post-Trimax time travel (fix it?) AU; Vash goes back in time to try to make things better, but he still carries the weight of what he went through

Make it to Daybreak by @hypermoyashi - 161k+; Vashwood; M; Demon Slayer AU; Demon Vash; Meryl meets Vash, who challenges her beliefs about demons

come and see by @avoidingavoidance - 427k+; Vashwood; M; Post-Tristamp S1; Canon Divergence; After July, Wolfwood struggles to find his place in the world, but some things are too precious to give up on; I am screaming and crying and aggressively rattling the bars of my enclosure; Please for the love of Vashwood read this; the yearning, the angst, the fucking writing, all of it is so perfect I cannot give enough praise

if you scrolled this far down, you're so fucking gay, i love you

[doublechocolate]

Haibara dissecting Conan/Shinichi like he's some kind of experiment ksjksjf

I think it was around this time when I started to seriously ship them. Haibara, at this stage, was still given the "cold and mysterious" status of a character but the story didn't shy away from showing us how her empathy extended beyond her own needs. She was well aware of Conan/Shinichi's pain, and also Ran's, because she finds herself to be in that same position as them, and has gone through layers of her own emotional turmoil by this point to recognize this.

But more than that, it's blatantly obvious here that if there's anyone who can understand Conan, it's her. There's a level of understanding between them that's deep and personal. And yes, Conan has that with others too, you can argue that, but what he has with Haibara is slightly different. You see, their "friendship" was born out of pain and trauma. They were each others' "doom", in a sense. Haibara created the APTX4869 drug while Conan failed to save Akemi. They saw the sides of each other that others haven't and had to learn to trust each other in their own way. Slowly, they grew to understand one another and from doom, they became each others' hope.

(Long rambling under cut)

There are many instances of Conan being able to understand Haibara's thoughts by merely watching her actions but to me, the one that stood out the most was none other than m26 Black Iron Submarine (not canon to you but canon to me) when they were underwater and Haibara is about let Conan's hand go but he pulls her back up. The entire conversation takes place inside their heads yet they knew exactly what each other was saying. Remember that post I made about them being drift-compatible?

That's why I think Conan is still unaware just how big of a presence Haibara is in his life. He came close to that in m26 but with Pinga, BO and Haibara's kidnapping, he didn't exactly have the time to sit and ponder over it. Surely people (non-shippers) would chalk it up to you, "aakchuallyyyy he just needs her for the antidote". But... are you sure? Are you really, really sure that that's all he is to her? Is that all you understand about Conan/Shinichi as a character? Even Takayama Minami and Hayashibara Megumi commented on how Conan losing his cool and becoming short-tempered when Haibara got kidnapped was unusual of him. In their opinion, the only reason why Conan calmed down was because of Agasa and how the Prof almost risked doing something reckless to save Haibara. Only then Conan realized he needed to remain calm to keep Agasa in check.

And also, Haibara noticed Pinga and Vodka's presence in the hotel first but Conan only noticed when Haibara was in danger. His train of thought literally went; something happened to Haibara -> it's the Organization -> oh shit they've taken her. Like, hello?? Excuse me?? What is this soulmate-level telepathy going on here right in front of my salad??

I've ~kinda~ mentioned this before in a passing before, but CoAi lowkey reminds me of SyaoSaku (from CCS) but in a different font - a more painful and (perhaps) tragic one. Haibara being Syaoran's counterpart, and Conan being Sakura's counterpart. Example; Sakura's infatuation for Yukito was loud and out there, literally everyone knew about it too (Conan/Shinichi with Ran). Meanwhile, Sakura's love for Syaoran was already growing quietly within her. She was showing signs of it but was too distracted to realize it, until the time came when Syaoran was going to leave Japan and return to Hong Kong. All of a sudden it hit her like a train that it was too painful to let him go (Conan/Shinichi with Haibara/Shiho).

This is why I'm convinced that when all of this is over, Conan will have to face the reality of just what Haibara means to him. It doesn't matter if Aoyama doesn't want to explore this, or chooses to address this in a different way. It's his story, he can do what he wants. But personally for me? I know Conan simply cannot go back to his original life as Kudou Shinichi anymore. He's too far changed, forced to recognize the grayness in a world he deemed black and white, empathize with people he would have classified as "criminals" in the past, and live a life of white lie even it meant hurting the people he cared for the most - in short, Conan/Shinichi simply cannot go back to being the same person he was before Tropical Land. And the one person we know for sure who will be able to understand him despite all of this, is Haibara.

I saw a comment once saying that CoAi/ShinShi are supplementary and wouldn't work. I disagree because I think they are more of a narrative foil. Haibara's existence in Conan's life taught him that he isn't invincible (failure to save Akemi) and that not everyone from the Black Organization are cold-blooded assassins. Haibara had her life and freedom stolen from her. Conan, otoh, taught Haibara to live. To not run away from life and to learn to trust people again. All the important people in life left her at some point, but Conan was the only one who kept coming back for her when she chose to give up, holding her hand as tightly as he can.

Conan, the boy who has everything. Haibara, the girl who lost everything. Conan, the boy who keeps trying to dig deeper into the viper's nest. Haibara, the girl who has lived in the viper's nest trying to pull him back from diving further. Conan, the boy who wants to keep tempting fate to save his friends. Haibara, the girl who is willing to die to save her friends. Conan, the boy who thinks his actions of holding back his love is immature. Haibara, the girl who understands his pain enough to know he is anything but. Conan, the boy whose life changed because of the drug Haibara created but in a way also saved his life (Gin chose to not shoot him in the head but fed him the drug instead). Haibara, the girl who lost her sister because Conan couldn't save her but now he'd do anything to make sure she stays alive.

Whether you ship them or not, or see them merely as friends, you can't deny that they play huge roles in each other's lives. We know that when the end comes, Haibara will be willing to let Conan go. She might have already prepared herself for this, even, because Ran is the last person she'd want to hurt at this point. Her resemblance to Akemi is too strong now and she knows Ran adores her a lot too. And from that scene above, we know Haibara feels the same pain Ran and Conan/Shinichi are going through.

But. Will Conan be able to do the same? Can he simply let go of Haibara and return to his old life? Even if Haibara/Shiho does remain in his life, when the dust is settled, can he truly move on from the person whom he has experienced so many life and death encounters with, and in a way, shaped him into becoming the person he is today?

We know the love is one-sided now because we're almost always seeing it from Haibara/Shiho's perspective. But how can we be so sure that something isn't growing deep down in Conan/Shinichi's heart too? If it's something subtle and quiet like the flap of a butterfly's wings now, eventually growing into something that could literally change the course of his life?

If you understand Conan/Shinichi as a person, beyond the shipping lenses, then I think the answer is already obvious.

"It's not cause the creator said so. They're just friends and Shinichi already confessed to someone else". Okay, like I said, the creator can do whatever he wants with his story. I AM choosing to read between the lines based on what that same creator has presented to us. I'm also always reminded of the Akai/Jodie/Akemi love story and how that panned out. I'm saying, things can happen because feelings are complex and sometimes you go through experiences in life that changes you inside out. Both Akai and Conan have had their lives stained by the Black Organization.

Not to mention that, in terms of their personalities, CoAi/ShinShi's relationship are quite a stark parallel to Yuusaku and Yukiko's relationship as well. What Conan/Shinichi needs is someone who can match his level of eccentricity yet at the same time call him out when his head floats too high in the clouds. Haibara is that person. And the best part about it is she didn't even have to change herself to match him - that's pretty much her personality already. Fitting in exactly like a puzzle piece.

Anyway, this is long-winded already. i'll stop rambling here. Also, if this breaches containment and reaches a non-shipper/anti and you have something negative to say, please do me a favor and be a mature person. Leave this post and let's both live in peace.

Love you, CoAi nation, bye!