#and the drummer who i feel like i need to do more research on

[covershotsixshooter]

I’ve had these OCs bouncing around in my head for years, why do so few on them have firm names???

[003soy]

Kat’s Character Overanalysis of Murasaki

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

The content below may exhibit multiple instances of confirmation bias due to over a year of brain rotting.

Do not proceed if you dislike excessive analysis of characters that only appear in official tweets and random merchandise.

I treat this guy like an oc so don’t be mean to me ok 💔 just my headcanons and personal observations!!!

Viewer discretion is advised…

Ok so I'm going to start with the basic stuff (i.e. inkipedia)

From 2015-2018(?) Murasaki was the drummer for the band Squid Squad. He was the youngest member of the group.

While this excerpt from Inkipedia may seem small, there are a lot of traits described here that can be further analyzed (if you have nothing better to do)

The Squid Research Lab describes him as rough around the edges.

The term "rough around the edges" is used to describe something that has small imperfections, but is generally good. When describing a person it can mean someone who is unsophisticated or impolite. In this instance, "rough around the edges" could be describing Murasaki's drumming skills as he's said to have potential, but he also needs some practice.

this characterization was probably made to resemble his appearance as well! (sea urchins don't have very smooth edges...)

2. Murasaki is referred to as a wild child.

A "wild child" is usually someone (likely a young person) who is headstrong, rebellious, and/or uncontrollable. To me, this info matches nicely with the impolite interpretation of the phrase "rough around the edges."

3. From here, it sort of goes on about his playing which I sort of addressed in the first point. Basically, he has a natural gift in drumming because he has a good sense of rhythm, and despite lacking in technique, he always tries his best.

4. He is prone to crying

The Squid Research Lab states that he could be caught crying during a drum solo which goes to show how much effort he puts into his playing :). I feel like this part tends to override his other traits in fan stuff (if he gets included at all). I personally view this as a subversive aspect of his personality. Normally he has an abrasive personality because of the rebelliousness and lack of manners, but he is also a sentimental person and his emotions are expressed through tears even if he isn’t sad (samee). Think of how urchins have a spiky hard external shell that hides soft uni inside of it ok...

5. Energetic

I know the energy think is probably referring to his playing style, but I picture him to be a fidgety person who doesn't like to stand still. I guess it matches with the wild child thing.

6. He's the youngest

Expains the previous behavior. rude + rebellious + more talent than practice. teenager.

Moving onto other sources! Bye Inkipedia...

Here is the original japanese text of the Squid Research Lab info on twitter. Yes, I know google translate isn't that accurate, but I think it's interesting and deepl says something similar as well.

7. Ignoring the strange grammar, Murasaki is additionally described as mischievous (やんちゃ?). Definition: playful in a naughty or teasing way or troublesome/irritating.

I guess this was translated into the wild child in the english version because I'm assuming the term in japanese refers to more childish behavior. I think the word mischievous is easier to understand though since I've never heard the term wild child before. Anyway, he's silly.

8. I sort of glossed over this in the english version but apparently he can take the lead when it matters most. In english, the phrasing kinda made this confusing. I thought they were just saying words lol. Anyway, this ties in with him trying his best while in the band + being compassionate/sentimental.

topic-adjacent kinda. I've seen people interpret this in a sort of sad way, but I interpret this as him being mischievous! I think he's walking towards them to scare them. The little star next to his head reminds me of the animal crossing mischief emote.

another bonus thing because it shows that hes silly. a silly goose. I think he likes to doodle.

God I haven't even gotten to the splatune articles yet...

yeah this kinda repeats what I already said but here it says his playing fits well with Ichiya. I think that both of them are kinda similar. Both are sort of lacking in technique but make up for it in other areas. Both have ADHD (lying). To me, Murasaki is if an asshole turned out to be kind, and Ichiya is if a kind person turned out to be an asshole. #crazy

Splatune 1! No more numbered list I forgot what number I was on :)

Cool and edgy urchin

I have no idea what that means. Ok.

Cool means cool.

I don’t know if they mean edgy in the internet way because ???... Anyway, edgy can mean: 1. tense, nervous, or irritable, 2. trend setting, daring, or provocative. I think the word choice was for the sake of an urchin pun.

I think they meant to convey the second definition by saying hes cool and unconventional (I don't think it makes sense to say someone is cool and nervous in the same sentence). Kind of matches with being rough around the edges. I like to apply the first definition sometimes though. I like to stress him out.

he boldly pushes up to the front like a blaster

information about his drum playing is information about his personality! this relates to his previously described energetic playing. I like how this sort of frames him as unusual compared to other drummers. It shows how his playing style relates to his character... energetic, headstrong, he can lead the way if necessary. all things previously stated.

mean to him :(

I think this is trying to say how the others keep him around even though he doesn't match the theme. They keep him around because he looks cool? (this information is probably useless because machine translator. grain of salt)

very brief splatune 3 cameo

can drink in bars now? (old...)

likes to talk in circles (old...)

looks depressed now. aware of the horrors... evil leg bouncer...

thats it for official stuff i think. I like to add on bonus traits to him during the front roe era, but yeag ✌️

[theflyingfeeling]

Why I think Niko/Tommi is an amazing ship - The essay

In this literary masterpiece and research I will focus on why Niko and Tommi would make an amazing pair. Facts are based purely on assumptions of their characteristic traits and on my own subjective insight of their personalities. <3 I am also only inclusively focusing on them two and not on others in the band.

Characteristically I think Niko and Tommi would compliment each other very well. They are both introverted, whereas Niko is more outgoing and social and Tommi likes to keep his public distance. Niko tho had multiple times brought it out that he needs lots of alone time. So this has given me a picture of a CEO-guy who will handle the public image like a pro and wants to keep all the strings in his hands and go against anyone who dares to give him or his friends a hard time. And then he will hibernate in his own corner to charge the batteries and observe the situations and analyse what would be the next step forward. I feel like Tommi is an observer too, and reads people around him very well. He notices stuff and comes up with simple plans to avoid/solve/maintain the situation X and helps Niko to plan their next theoretical moves.

Tommi also gives me storyteller vibes. His using of Finnish is somehow so rich and again: his observer-nature supports this too. He knows how to keep stories interesting with the word-choices (which is most likely unintentional, he has just learned to talk like that) and intonations and rhythm of his speech. And Niko the lyricist and creative mind would love to listen Tommi talk and either relax listening it or let the inspiration wash through him. Tommi could talk hours and Niko wouldn't get tired. And similarly Tommi appreciates Niko's ability to come up with lyrics and melodies and prefers to fall asleep to his voice. Also they both have the worst (=best) sense on humor so they will just try to outdo each other in horrible dad-jokes and situational comedy.

Lastly I want to meantion that their size difference is so hot!?!?!? Niko would fit just perfectly in Tommi's arms! Also we have seen couple of video-clips of Niko being manhandled and that man likes being roughed up a little bit. Who is better to pin him against the wall/mattress/kitchen counter than a big and strong drummer? 😌 Otherwise I think they would both just enjoy quiet, mundane and domestic love where they can fully embrace their need of their own space and just quietly love each other. 🥰

Loppu

omg 😭😭😭 I love you, Niko/Tommi anon <3

a literary masterpiece indeed, because I for one am now fully convinced they'd be a great match 🥺💕 they really do seem more alike than one might imagine at first glance, and it's obvious Niko adores Tommi - then again, who doesn't? 🥰 your observation about Tommi's storyteller vibes vs. Niko's lyrical genius vibes is an excellent one and it reminds me of Niko's tweet about Tommi saying he's most definitely not gonna invite any of his bandmates to his wedding (<3) but they do get an invite to his funeral to carry his coffin made of lead (<3), and yeah, it's safe to assume Niko giggled at that for hours with hearts in his eyes for Tommi 😂🥰

If you don't mind, dare I also add what @johnnyporko and I talked about in the DMs that night you sent the first Niko/Tommi ask: they're both the hermit type of guys you know, so it's easy to imagine them retreating to some cottage in Lapland to chop some wood and have sauna and go skinny dipping in the lake and read in bed together in the evening (perhaps some old Donald Duck comics) 🥺

and yeah, the notable size difference was also mentioned 🙂

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s1 episode 23 thoughts

back at it again with another post surgery painkiller and x-files combo, let's goooo!

i'm almost done with season 1, only 1 more episode! i'll have to see how long it took me to get to this point and then update accordingly- but i might finish today- which will be bittersweet

(update! i started watching 20 days ago, so a i'm at a little over an episode a day! wow, time flies. and yet it seems they have always been at my side)

anyway this episode was again Problematic but i did chronicle my journey like always. i am a citizen journalist.

episode opened with some math words, math words which i definitely knew the meaning of (/s)

then the scientist we see working on a sort of jet thing gets sucked into his jet- he was locked in there by the custodian- with a sound the closed captioning described as a "squishing thud" which was. unfortunate.

enter our duo! "how was the wedding?" "you mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit the drummer?" (mulder, teasingly) "did you catch the bouquet?" (scully, teasing back) "maaaaybe :)"

(your honor i would die for them. no hesitation. mulder, what do you care if she caught the bouquet? dreaming of her as a radiant bride or something? scully, you stringing him along with that imagery? lol. lmao, even. i need to put them in a bottle and study them)

another scientist is killed when the custodian puts him into liquid nitrogen which is not something i can endorse but he WAS rude asf so i get it. and then his ear falls off and crunches which was nasty!

scully says she has seen this happen on a fish before! mulder responds that this is not something they'll see on "beakman's world" (had to google that one but it seems to be a contemporary children's science programming of some sort. and there was a man in a rat suit playing a rat. which is absurdly funny to me. hold on NEED to get an image of him for you)

i'm. gonna fucking cry why does he look like that. need to end this line of commentary here before i start begging for explanations on what the hell was going on in the 90's

so mulder seems to think that the custodian killed his boss and all the other members of this team working on the fancy jet stuff, which we know to be true but we don't know Why. turns out our custodian, roland, is the twin brother of the head scientist, arthur, who died a few months back, and has since had his brain placed in a cryogenic freezing chamber. JUST the head!

i love when scully and mulder need a visual on what a person would look like so they go to the woman in the fbi that presses some buttons on a computer and generates a dude. it brings me pleasure to no end. then they look at the guy like :0 yup that is exactly who we are looking for. i eat it up every time.

! SCULLY LORE REVEAL ! she has two brothers, one older and one younger! (she's a middle child omg.........)

mulder thinks siblings have a psychic connection (which is actually deeply tragic if you consider his circumstances) and that the ULTIMATE psychic connection is between twins. so the twin that is currently in an icy soup is somehow connecting to the other twin to get him to kill all the other scientists and finish his research. sure. why not.

there's then a scene where mulder tries to walk in the wrong direction and scully has to correct him, which recalled him getting lost in the woods in an earlier episode i had No Positive Feelings Towards, but it does make him always driving funnier. like, can he follow a map but has no internal sense of direction? was the gps still in its early days? did he have one at all? how is he getting places? a lot of people want to know

the last remaining scientist who was not killed lowered the temperature on brain soup twin, which was stored in another part of the university campus where they worked. man my university campus has no jet propulsion wing OR brain soup section. did i get ripped off? what is my tuition even for?

anyway, the episode ends with the seeming psychic curse of soup twin being lifted from custodian twin, which we can hope to mean positive things moving forward

overall, like i said, any episode of a show from the 90's with the words "mentally challenged" in the description is bound to have aged poorly, which i am not surprised by- up there with the earlier Indigenous appropriation episode and the aforementioned episode i Shan't Name- but, we did learn things! for instance, that scully has 2 brothers (!!!), just went to a wedding where mulder teased her about maybe catching the bouquet (and also a dog bit a drummer, drop the full story time scully don't be shy), mulder believes in the psychic connection between siblings, and that there was a rat on a kid's show that was a mere man in a suit. that i'm still gonna cry laughing at.

[rustbeltjessie]

I'm currently participating in a month-long intensive writing workshop from Selah Saterstrom/Four Queens Divination. Which is fantastic, by the way—if she ever offers the Write Now! workshop again, I highly recommend it. The project I'm working on is somewhat autobiographical, and the autobiographical parts all come from approximately spring 2003-spring 2005. It's kinda funny, though, to be writing about a time in my life when I was a self-destructive trainwreck, while I'm here now in a time when I wake up, do school stuff with the kiddos, make myself a small breakfast of yogurt + granola + banana, and then do my stretches, before I sit down to write. (To quote myself: My life is easier now, but it's also less shiny. Or to quote W/IFS: Sometimes I miss those days—that's right, you heard me. Other times I could not give a damn.)

As research for my writing project, I've been rereading journal entries from that time period. Some thoughts/observations I've had while reading through them include:

1 - Wowwwww, none of these pass the Bechdel Test. Haha, I know a personal journal entry can't be measured with the same criteria as a film or whatever, but still. For a couple years there, I was very much "The Ugly One" from Teen Girl Squad. You know:

2 - I was actually surprisingly astute about my issues and patterns, even at the time. Astute enough to know how to stop them? No. But give me a break, I was in my early 20s.

3 - One thing that's the same as it ever was is that I am always lamenting about not writing enough. Like: I need to write more. Or: I've been writing a lot, but not as much as I want to. I think I'm just one of those people who, no matter how much time I spend writing, will always feel like it's not enough.

4 - I was reminded of an incident I'd—well, not forgotten about, but forgotten about an aspect of. So, for a couple months in the summer of 2004 I was traveling/couch-surfing. A., one of my roommates at the apartment I'd been living in prior to that, told me I could keep some of my stuff stored there until I found a solid place to live. When I did, I went back to get my stuff, and she informed me that while I'd been away, she'd had a party, and some of my stuff got stolen. Including my bike, and a bunch of my favorite records. In retrospect, I think she stole them, or gave them away, because she was a mean, fucked-up, vindictive person. And it just seemed really fishy. My stuff was the only stuff that got stolen; none of A.'s stuff got stolen, none of the stuff belonging to the person who'd moved in to take my place got stolen. Plus, it was only my most favorite records, not the ones I felt so-so about, and how would some random thief know what my most favorite records were or have the time to sort through the bin to find them? Anyway. That's not the part I'd forgotten about. What I'd forgotten is that when I got upset about it—and I wasn't even blaming her, I was just fucking upset—she called me something like a 'privileged crybaby' for being upset over 'little things like a bike and a few records.' Reading about that again just made me go: Uhhhh, what??? Like, I feel like getting upset about your bicycle and favorite records getting stolen is a pretty normal response for anyone to have in that situation? Especially when you're broke and can't afford to replace them?

In other, more recent news:

My oldest kiddo got an electronic drum pad for Christmas, but I asked him if I could mess around with it when he's not using it, and he's fine with that. So I'm teaching myself to play drums! That's like the only type of instrument I have no experience playing, so why the fuck not? I'm not good yet, but it's hella fun. And if I get better, and become a real drummer...well, if I'm an O.G. zinester and a drummer, I really will be the (nonbinary) girl Cometbus, haha.

I also found out that my county has launched a big harm reduction campaign re: drugs possibly being laced with fentanyl. They are giving out test strips, and Narcan, as well as doing one-off training courses in how to administer the Narcan. So I've signed up. Just because I don't do those type of drugs anymore doesn't mean I'm never around people who do, and I want to make sure I can help people if necessary. (I'm also really, really proud of my county for doing something like this. Harm reduction for the win.)

And, one last thing: I just discovered yesterday that if you type the word 'emo' on an Apple device, it suggests the black heart emoji. Amazing. 🖤

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 11)

Welcome back to the silly project where I re-read my own book and comment on various things, like what was based on real life, what was totally made up, what I’d do differently if I could do it over again, and more! Spoilers abound, including spoilers for chapters beyond this one, so only click if you’re OK with that, thanks!

It’s starting to feel like these early chapters are following a pattern… Teru sees Rei, something happens to make him feel like shit, so he goes back to the band, and something happens to make him need or want to see Rei again? Maybe it just feels repetitive because I’m reading each chapter two or three times in a row now to annotate them?

Anyway, Chapter 11 picks up right where 10 leaves off, with Teru heading back home after the disastrous kiss and trying to distract himself again. There’s a sumo tournament on TV—this would be the Heisei 12 (2000) Nagoya Basho, I did make sure to get a sport that would actually be being aired on that particular day. (I like researching stupid details that no one is ever going to notice WAY too much.) And a soap opera about “a mother estranged from her gay son”—this almost certainly did NOT exist on Japanese TV 23 years ago. Even now, if there are ANY canon queer characters at all it’s like, a side character who has a crush on the MC but never gets a happy ending of their own. (Yet anime has queer characters, and has for a long time... it’s OK if it’s a cartoon or something? I have no ides.) But that was a creative liberty I wanted to take, just to remind Teru of what he was trying not to think about.

Unable to find anything in his apartment to distract him, Teru heads to the studio early and rents the room for an hour to pound out his frustration on the drums. I really like this scene because it’s one of the very few times we actually get to see Teru play the drums, and even though “having fun” isn’t really the word I’d use here, it shows that music isn’t just a career move for him, it really is something he enjoys and uses as a release.

Like Rei often isn’t really mad at Teru, I don’t think Teru is necessarily mad at Rei here… he’s really angry at himself for spending so much mental and emotional energy on something that won’t go anywhere, that CAN’T go anywhere (as far as he has convinced himself at the time). But it’s easier to direct that anger at someone else, or just pound it into the drums?

Then Minori shows up for rehearsal, and says they have a lead on a new drummer, if that’s OK with Teru. Teru is again sort of wishy-washy in his response—sorry? And I think that’s partly BECAUSE things didn’t go so well with Rei. He knows that Rei wants him to keep singing, but isn’t sure whether or not he wants to give Rei what he wants at this point. 

He DOES, however, actually give the band the minidisc with the new song Rei gave him the night before of his own accord, thereby perhaps becoming more of a Proactive Protagonist? Just a little?

MINIDISCS. Can I go on an aside about minidiscs? They were fabulous. You could put about 3 average-length CDs on one, and the portable players didn’t skip as badly as a Discman would. They weren’t usually used for selling commercial music, but a lot of people would put their favorite CDs (or demo tapes) on MDs for portability, use them to make mixtapes, or, in the case of musicians, to record their own songs. Definitely a nostalgia thing for me, but historically accurate!

Seika comes in, joking as always about the “wonderful boy” he spent the night with—this is definitely a defense mechanism. I think all of my characters have defense mechanisms of one kind or other. Rei acts like an asshole and pushes people away so they won’t have a chance to reject HIM. Teru replies to every question with “I don’t know, whatever you want,” because he can’t be disappointed with the way things turn out if literally anything is OK with him. Yasu acts like everything’s a joke, including himself. And Seika can’t really “pass” as straight, so he turns the camp factor up to 1,000, and that’s totally a shield. But this time, the “joke” kind of hits too close to home for Teru.

After rehearsal, they listen to the MD. This is the second time Teru has heard the song, and he internally comments that the first time, he was really only listening to the melody and the contrast between the operatic vocals and the really heavy backing track (nod to X Japan, anyone?), but the second time around he can enjoy the details. One of my very, very first readers left a comment on that line and said something to the effect of “I feel the same way reading back through this to leave comments!” and that was one of the nicest things any of my readers have ever said!

So, in terms of details to notice when we go back through this scene… Teru notices that all of the instruments are real, not synthesized—someone played this live, and it couldn’t have been Rei. While it IS possible to play the guitar with one hand (see this dude, he’s amazing!), I think that A) Teru simply doesn’t know that and B) I’m not really sure if it’s possible to play in a more metal style just by using the tapping techniques I was able to find... but mostly A. This is Teru’s point of view, and he doesn’t think there’s any chance that Rei could play what’s on the MD. Yasu comments on it too, saying Rei is a pretty good guitarist, but it’s clearly framed as a question, and Teru doesn’t really have an answer to this—he doesn’t know who’s playing on the recording either.

Now, you are absolutely free to headcanon this however you like. No one ever answers the question on the page, and I’m a fanfic writer, too—I absolutely left some things intentionally open to interpretation so people could have fun with it. But in my mind, at least, this recording is old. I don’t think Rei is going out and paying studio musicians to record demos NOW; either it’s his old band playing, or maybe he played everything himself before the accident. Personally, I think this is Rei’s old band, including Saki, on a song that they never got to officially record that Rei now wants Teru to perform, instead. Although, again, you are free to interpret it as you like!

Anyway, the band goes out to dinner after the show and decides to let the prospective drummer audition, with Yasu joking about Rei’s incredibly difficult songs with “Drummer wanted. Must be willing to dislocate own neck on demand.” (Very obviously a nod to Yoshiki, who I think actually BROKE his own neck playing the drums?) And they also decide to submit a demo to an “omnibus” CD.

So an omnibus CD is basically a “various artists” thing, and there were quite a few of those back in the day. It would be a good way for a lesser-known artist to get some exposure, because you’re going to sell copies to fans of ALL the bands in the track list, and maybe get some of them to become your fans as well. So, a pretty good career move if they get selected.

Minori also reveals that they’ve sold 19 tickets to their upcoming show, a pretty good number for an indie band of this caliber, and MUCH more than they’ve sold before, and… the REAL good news, that a magazine called Shokker (obviously a stand-in for the real-life visual kei magazine Shoxx) wants to do an interview with them. They talk about the cover for the album, and then Yasu asks about Teru’s date with Kiyomi.

At this point, the date with Kiyomi always seems really far away at this point, but in-universe, it was literally THE NIGHT BEFORE. Teru also comments that it feels like a long time ago, and gives kind of a noncommital response when Yasu asks if they’re going out again… and then Yasu accuses him of “never knowing what he wants” which is honestly pretty fair. Teru has not really thrown himself totally into the band, and he hasn’t really thrown himself fully into either of his prospective relationships at this point—Yasu tells him to decide what he wants and go for it, not knowing what he’s REALLY advising Teru to do.

And then at the end of the chapter there’s a little scene where, after Minori and Yasu (who live in the opposite direction, away from Shinjuku) leave in Minori’s van, Teru asks Seika to join him for a coffee, and asks Seika how he knew he was gay. Seika says it wasn’t so much about realizing it but admitting it to himself, after he tried to date girls, and Teru admits that he kissed a man (but doesn’t say that it was Rei). Seika was always supposed to be the “gay friend,” but I’m glad he turned into such a well-rounded character. One little thing that gets slipped in here is that Seika lives in Koreatown… supposedly because the rent is cheap and he can walk to work (which we can assume is in Shinjuku 2-chome, where most of the gay clubs are concentrated). Of course, it’s not unheard of for someone who isn’t Korean to live in Koreatown, and for all Teru knows Seika COULD be Korean (a lot of the Koreans in Japan at this point are the children and grandchildren of people who were abducted during World War II, so Japanese is their first language and if they go by an alias, you’d never know they were Korean unless they told you). But we’ll find out later that he actually has a long-term Korean boyfriend. That isn’t revealed until MUCH later, and was actually something I added in a later draft—Seika acts like a playboy, but it really is all an act. He’s committed to and very much in love with Sung-min, and I think that dating someone who is a part of a discriminated-against minority, he would’ve had a bit of a learning curve when they first got together as well, and is therefore in a position to give Teru advice and sympathise with some of the hurdles he faces in the beginning of his relationship with Rei. Of course, neither of them knows who the other is dating yet, but Seika is still kind of helping Teru discover himself, <3

[magical-girl-coral]

hello! how you doing today? i just found out your blog and i feel saved! ok, this is kinda specific and out of context but i need help with an oc 😭

in short words: i re-started working with one of my ocs after a long break, and i decided to change one of his backstory: he is the drummer for a hard rock band from the 1960s in england. this drummer is british german and ashkenazi jewish, but i'm afraid i'm not doing him justice or just straight not making an “authentic representation”. i’m not jewish myself, so i don’t feel in the position of writing him.

what are your suggestions for writing jewish characters? or what elements can i add to make it feel more authentic? sorry if i'm taking up your time, but as a non-jewish, i's like to hear your thoughts. thank you in advance for any messages or recommendations, and please forgive me if i misspoke at any point 🙏🏻✨

As much as I am honored that you asked me, I cannot stress enough how under qualified I am for this.

My family is less jewish and more jew-ish. My mother is a "pagan" who believes in mother earth and my older brother treats science like a religion. We're only jews cause we don't know what else to be.

If I were you, I would just check the tumblr tag Jumblr for general knowledge and go from there. There's jewish history, icons, various cultures and inside jokes that can helpful for your research. I also have a "Jewish Tag" on my blog that you can use.

As for the history itself, basic research is your best friend. Googling about the Jewish world post holocaust is a good start especially if your character is in their thirties, since they either immigrated from Germany when the war was over or had to live through England's bombing while being a child. Their PTSD is also probably pretty strong and researching about mental health in the 1960's is important as well.

My bottom line is RESEARCH. Ignorance is the Jews' worst enemy and thanks to constant misunderstandings, it has become dangerous for me to leave my country. Always check the source, who's sharing the source, and why the source is shared in the first place.

Anyway, good luck! And please give me updates when you can.

[alieonya]

BAND AUS AND MUSIC MY BREAD AND BUTTER. HERE ARE SOME IDEAS:

- tomura is defo a lead singer

- toga, at first, is skilled in being a keyboardist/pianist... but she enjoys singing A LOT more

^ regular singing BUT ALSO... hear me out... scream singing too bc her in s7... 😁😁😁

- not really emo, but i feel like they have an a lot like birds esc style in their singing styles. tomura fits kurt and toga fits cory lockwood (ex: orange time machines care by allb)

-since toga wouldn't be their keyboardist though, perhaps... compress on keyboard.

^ he gives the silliest ideas for songs that just WORK. think a random slow jazz part in a song. he has to write that part tho, but toga, twice, and magne are all super into it.

^ (ex: "doing the same things and expecting different results" by hail the sun @ 1:56)

^ dabi, tomura are against it at first, and spinner is a little unsure abt it. but when the song is finished, they like it. begrudgingly for dabi

- dabi... he gives me bassist vibes. idk why, but he also does backing vocals occasionally. i think he'd specifically sound like the part in again by sufferer (2:35)

^ also totally gives me vibes that he knows how to play violin or something, only because endeavor pressured him into playing in orchestra in school

^ definitely joined the band and learned how to play bass JUST to piss him off, ended up liking it a lot

-spinner on lead guitarist and magne is an additional guitarist (most bands usually have 2 reg guitarists and 1 bassist)

- TWICE ON DRUMS. drumming takes strength and stamina, which i feel like he has and also just Gives Off drummer vibes to me

^ throws his drumsticks to the crowd for ppl to have LOL, gives broken cymbals to em too

additional ideas + other villains:

- tomura is passionate about music, and his dad knows afo who owns a record label 🤢 they sign to his label it SUCKS.

- they meet giran and kurogiri there. kurogiri is their manager, giran is their producer and helps scout out band members for tomura's band

^ they teach tomura how to book shows, so they don't have to spend the extra money to order to hire a booking manager

- muscular was their drummer for a short time (afo assigned him the role), but his attitude and behavior towards the band caused him to be kicked out

^ because of this, twice is apart of their touring crew and helps them set up on stage since muscular is the drummer. but occasionally he takes over if they need him to

^ kurogiri had to go to afo and explain that muscular not being kicked out would hurt the band, AND his business. thats why he agreed to muscular being kicked out

other villains + their bands:

- stain is also in a band... he's a singer that can drum too. he drums and sings. but i think his style is definitely more like zeta's (venezuelan rock band). idk who his bandmates would be tho sorgy

^ inspires toga/dabi/spinner/whoever else to actually pursue music.

- both bands tour together, with the lov as openers for stain's band! stain and tomura don't get along, but fans love when they tour together.

^ they would both hate overhaul's band though if he had one, thats the only time they bond 😭

- the shie hassaikai hypothetical band is that they have aesthetic perfection or iamx vibes...

- overhaul is their lead singer, chrono is on keyboard/synth and setsuno is a guitarist, hojo is a bassist, and rappa is their drummer

- tengai is their manager briefly, but i think it'd be funny is they signed under afo's label and forces them to have lady nagant as their manager 😭 so tengai becomes their booking agent

^ she gets along with them though. somewhat.

- if we wanna get even MORE specific abt villain bands... the meta liberation army's having thank you scientist vibes. they have a jazz/prog-rock style

- the only ideas i got for them though is curious on violin, skeptic and geten on electric guitar, trumpet on... trumpet LOL. redestro as bassist and singer, tokoname (slidin go) on drums, and sanctum on sax

^ i had to research the mla and the band to see what instruments they played and would fit 😭😭😭

anyways thats all i got, sorry this got long. i go nutso boingo for music/bands 😁

The League of Villains should've just been a band. They would've made such banger emo music.

[streetlights-was-taken]

🌗🌙☀️: character notes ii

I think about this fic idea every day but I don't feel ready to write it yet. however, I can think up more backstories for the other characters!

this might be even more disorganized than the last post. as with all my pre-writing posts, I'm just making things up as I go along and word vomiting ideas. not even sure if I'll use all of them tbh.

btw, I have to preface this post by admitting that, in between the last post and this one, I started reading oshi no ko and have taken huge inspiration from it. thematically, there are some similarities since the conception of this fic idea, though they're still quite different.

but what I like about onk is how the past of the character heavily affects their actions, and the slow revelation of their past to the reader. this is something I want to get better at, so it's actually really great that I'm starting with the backstories right now before actually plotting the fic (which... I honestly don't know at the moment. all I have is the premise, and I think I'll just let the characters do what they want and see where the story goes). anyway.

> timeline

as I was working on the backstories for other characters, I realize that I needed to make a timeline of events to see where everyone was at in their lives relative to each other. as it turns out, I've thought about 13 years' worth of backstory for most of them. the fic starts at around year 14 in the table. numbers in parentheses show the characters' ages in that year.

this isn't set in stone or anything, but it'll be a rough guideline that I'll follow to get an idea of the character's past once the story is set into motion.

> character backstory: albedo, xingqiu, lumine

I've always wanted to make albedo the protagonist because he's the most uninvolved character in the fic's entertainment industry, so it will be easier to world build around his point of view. similarly, he's the outsider who doesn't know these people he's about to meet, what their secrets are, how they're all connected to one another.

however he is a bit of a blank slate since he's the most disconnected to all of the other characters I've already developed in my head. which worried me, for a while, because I do want to give albedo depth beyond just being "the researcher" character, the person who helps aether grow, or the outsider. so I'll just throw ideas into this post and see what will stick.

first, the basics. albedo is a young prodigy who grew up with alice and rhinedottir and all the other witches, most of whom have very loose views on morality, gender, etc. and are all accomplished writers or researchers. as such, albedo hasn't really thought of gender as something that really plays a role in his identity. he also grew up already wanting to work in academia and becoming a scientist. he entered university at the young age of 16 and already started getting involved in research projects at the age of 24. he is two years older than venti and aether.

every child of mondstadt grew up loving music, and albedo is no exception. he doesn't keep up with celebrities, but he does enjoy listening to music when he works. so he's the type of person who casually knows the popular artists like barbara, eula, LUMI, etc. but isn't into idol culture and the like. everything he knows about idol culture is something he learns through osmosis because he's friends with xingqiu.

xingqiu is still the second son to the guild master of the feiyun commerce guild, he's still an author, he still practices guhua arts, he's basically the same as canon xingqiu, but modern. I'm taking fanon drummer chongyun into this fic-verse though. chongyun is a drummer to xinyan's band and xingqiu is very supportive of them. xingqiu is also a LUMI fan.

there are actually some key scenes I already envisioned albedo to be in, but I wasn't sure of when it happens in the story until I started making the timeline above. I figured out that one of those key scenes happens in year 11 of the timeline. LUMI is on tour and albedo is already on his second research project. he accompanies xingqiu to a concert and then to a fanmeet. only xingqiu goes up to LUMI and talks to her, and he comes back to albedo feeling elated and happy. he doesn't tell albedo why, but the reason is because he mentions to LUMI that he related to her music so much because it felt like he was seen through it and that the song validated his experience with his own gender, even though he thinks that might not have been LUMI's intention. LUMI winks at him and lets him in on a secret: that it's exactly why she wrote that song because she's going through a similar experience herself. "but please don't tell anyone! since you shared an intimate secret with me, I'll share mine with you. let's keep each other's secrets until we're both ready, okay?"

--

that's basically what I had in mind for albedo up until the writing of this post. one thing I realized today while creating the timeline is that I think it would benefit the story to develop albedo and lumine's character together.

see, a detail of lumine that I wanted to write but didn't think would affect the story much is that, while aether is pursuing his degree, lumine tried getting into the entertainment industry by auditioning for a children's show. I'm not sure what kind of show yet. but think think hi-5 or the wiggles, or maybe even just voice acting.

this was more of a trivia about her character that shows other ways she tried getting into the entertainment industry, or showcasing her talents in another way before she was on the road to becoming an idol. but I think we can tie this detail to albedo. see, if lumine works in a children's show, it's likely that klee has seen it. she might even be a fan! and maybe that's how albedo first learns about lumine.

maybe he takes klee to a live broadcast of the show and albedo meets lumine for the first time. lumine, who isn't an idol yet but dreams big. lumine, who is charismatic and talented and good with kids. lumine, who works hard and has a brother who just started attending university. lumine, who is good at dancing and has stage presence and has so many creative ideas, but is herself not that great of a singer (yet!). she isn't a music prodigy like her brother, and even though being an idol is more than just music, to lumine the music is the most important thing.

this is the lumine albedo meets for the first time. this lumine is a dreamer, but she thinks her brother is a bigger dreamer than she is and that he'll do many great things in the future. all lumine wants to do is become an idol. but aether? in her eyes, aether could be a scientist, an idol, he can be anything he wants to be! he's so good at so many things! he immediately understands and intuits venti's music process, unlike lumine who has to work harder about it. he got into a good university and is reading all these books and papers that lumine would never read. he lives in two different worlds like it's easy while lumine is struggling to even survive in this one (the entertainment industry). sure she has natural charisma and "star power" but that can only get her so far. aether can learn it, she thinks. aether can go farther.

which is why lumine works extra hard to make up for it. (unbeknownst to her, the more she works hard the more aether thinks he's dragging her down).

anyway, so albedo meets lumine at a tv set where klee is one of the kids in the audience for that episode. maybe this happens a handful of times. during those times, lumine enjoys albedo's company and confides in him that she dreams of becoming an idol. she tells him about her brother, how wonderful he is and how he's going to be a great scientist and idol.

lumine: but the most important thing is that we'll debut together! just you wait, albedo. if klee loves me now, I'm sure she'll love aether. and maybe you will too. maybe you'll even write a paper together. albedo: then I'll look forward to your debut. good luck.

god, imagine his surprise when LUMI debuts as a soloist. where the heck is her mysterious brother? did he end up pursuing academia after all? but albedo is in the same field as he is, and he hasn't heard of him at all. and he would know any graduate of mondstadt university who studied ley line related courses.

I'm still playing around with this idea. it's not thoroughly fleshed out, but I think this would offer a new lens on lumine in the story that aether doesn't provide. and this would also add a new layer to the relationship between albedo and aether.

> character backstory: kunikuzushi, kazuha

I've decided pretty early on that this will be a scaraven fic on the side. I think venti would totally understand scara's whole deal since he's friends with aether, and I think venti needs to grow and not be stuck in his past with lumine and aether as well.

so scara's story is pretty straightforward. I already mentioned (edited) it in the first post, but to summarize: kunikuzushi was named after his aunt who passed away, makoto. he didn't really connect with the name or identity his mother gave him, so he changed his name to kunikuzushi. I am still not sure what his relationship with ei is like... and I'm not sure it matters much in the fic, so I'll probably just decided on it when it comes up in the plot.

kunikuzushi spent two years performing in kabuki theater, where he first meets kazuha. they become close friends as they performed together. later, he decides he wants to become an idol and kazuha decides he wants to become a choreographer. they both leave the theater to pursue their dream.

do you know 1MDS? I'm thinking that beidou's crux fleet is the equivalent of that, and kazuha becomes a choreographer there. he has dance classes, but he eventually also choreographs for artists as well. when aether debuts as Æsir, I'm thinking that kazuha helps with the choreography for his "eclipse" album. kazuha looks similar enough to aether so they can do a lot of fun mirror dancing with aether's sun and moon motifs.

--

kunikuzushi debuts in the FATUI idol group as scaramouche. now, FATUI is kind of a weird idol group. taking inspiration from the commedia dell’arte, it's a group where everyone has a stage name and when the idol for that stage name leaves (for whatever reason) a new idol can take up that stage name and join the group, or choose a new stage name that's part of the commedia dell’arte. those who take up an old stage name will have to learn the choreography and lines of their previous incarnations. in this way, the group will be "forever" and they can make money re-releasing songs with new idols every now and then. but each idol that debuts into FATUI always announces their debut with their own unique solo song.

for example, as a reference to the dottoclones, there have been many idols who took up the "dottore" stage name and there have been songs re-recorded with different idols singing dottore's lines. but all of the dottoclone idols have their own solo debut songs. kunikuzushi is the first to take up the "scaramouche" stage name. FATUI also has some really convoluted subunits and lore in their mvs because of this, but that's exactly what the fans love about them.

basically I want the FATUI group to have their fans creating youtube videos titled "a complete guide to the fatui idol system (all members)" or "FATUI explained (2023 update!)" like some people do for nct. I mean, just look at the chart here. I want FATUI to have a chart like this.

(I... still do not actually understand how nct and their subunits work, so this chart does not make sense to me. sorry.)

anyway, as explained in the first post, kazuha and kunikuzushi meet aether while he's trying to do his disappearing act and they help him get back up on his feet.

now, about their idol careers. it's known in the fan community that scaramouche and LUMI are close friends and everyone is dying for a collab (which never happened in a song, but they do show up in a variety show together and a choreography video with kazuha). scaramouche becomes very popular and is known for his sharp dances, his rapping (which he writes, and he has his own tag/signature in songs to show that), and overall having a cool, can't-be-bothered-but-you-know-I'm-better-than-you / I'm-trouble-but-you-love-trouble stage presence, as is expected from the "scaramouche" stock character from the commedia dell'arte. clever, has villainous traits, gets into trouble, obsessed with one thing. kunikuzushi actually enjoys this work because it really is kinda like theater in a way. he's just playing a role, a mask.

all of this ends, however, over a "scandal" that goes completely out of control before the label can do anything about it in time. what happens is this: aether (as aether, not as lumine, so nobody really even recognizes him), kunikuzushi, and kazuha are hanging out somewhere when someone (a stalker?) starts harrassing them. he recognizes kunikuzushi as ei's child and calls him as such. as makoto. kunikuzushi is rightfully furious and punches the guy in the face. maybe several times.

you can maybe get away with that as a normal celebrity, maybe even as a non-idol singer. but alas, kunikuzushi is an idol, and these kinds of things will kill your career as an idol. videos of the incident goes around the internet and the fans turn on him, saying that he really is like the "scaramouche" mask that he puts on. he really is villainous, he'll assault even his own fan, he was always rude and arrogant!!

even when they clear things up, his reputation has been ruined. and they can't even tell the public the real reason because kunikuzushi, understandably, doesn't want them to know. his career as "scaramouche" is over, and he knows that anything he does after this will not be received well by the fans. he leaves the group and the label over this incident.

this affects aether while he makes his own music after that. this, combined with his own identity issues, is what causes him to go on hiatus just six months after kunikuzushi leaves the FATUI.

--

I am not sure how he meets nahida after this, but it doesn't feel right to write kunikuzushi without getting nahida involved. I'll think about this some more. nahida is involved more with the academia side, so I think she'll be the bridge to how albedo meets kunikuzushi. this is a good time for kunikuzushi to check up on how aether is doing too now that they're both out of the limelight.

eventually, kunikuzushi decides to become an independent artist. he meets venti through aether and they start writing songs together. he'll debut with the stage name "wanderer" and his music from here on out is a fusion of hip-hop and traditional inazuman music, a kind of mesh of influences from his time in kabuki theater and as an idol. a lot of his promotion is probably theater-inspired as well, just like his constellations in the game.

> fic plot

as I mentioned before, I can write extensive backstories but I have no idea what the actual fic plot is lol. that's fine. of course, I can always just change the premise of the fic and write about everything I just said here instead. but... I don't think that's the story I want to tell. these are all just background information I have to guide the fic when I need that guidance on the characters.

but the story I want to tell starts when aether meets albedo as his research assistant, and not a year earlier than that. this, I am very sure of.

edit: oh my god I haven't even touched on dainsleif and diluc in this post............ but I have thought about their backgrounds too, btw. diluc is still the wine industry head and the music company is just something he does on the side. dainsleif was just starting a music company and lumine and aether was supposed to be his first artist, but with the car crash the company just folded and he joined diluc's company instead. so aether seeking him out again was, in a way, dainsleif's second chance as well. but for most of the fic I think he'll just be a stressed idol manager lol.

[infisonicosm-moved]

Hi! I’m so excited for the ships!

Okay, so this could get long. Bear with me, please :)

My name is Jaclyn, but close friends call me Jax. I’m 25, and I’m a bartender and aspiring musician and tattoo artist. I work nights, I’m a bit of a night owl (and an insomniac but that’s not applicable lol). I’m 5’4”, petite/slim build, fair skin, blue eyes, dyed-black (with a weird accidental ombré teal blue on the ends) 70’s shag that’s way too long (collarbones-ish?). I have quite a few tattoos and piercings (nostril, septum, multiple ear piercings; a blackbird across my sternum because of the Beatles, a hunter s thompson quote on my ribcage, a floral/fauna sleeve dedicated to my home state, pirate ship and mermaid on left leg to start an ocean sleeve, patchwork sleeve in American trad, etc etc). Usually wearing all-black, pretty standard t-shirt or tank top and jeans paired with vintage military combat boots, paired with a leather or denim jacket.

I try to eat clean, am vegetarian, but also like to veg out. I try to keep things moderate. I do suffer from a Redbull addiction, however (lol). I workout a couple times a week, I do kickboxing and occasionally go to a yoga class or do it at home. I can pack a pretty good punch if I have to—and I could share some stories lol.

I’m pretty quiet, personality-wise. Really guarded (lol) so I can come off as standoffish but once I get comfortable around someone, I open up and can be a bit of a ball-buster. I have a really sarcastic, dry, even crass sense of humor. I swear like a sailor—unfortunately, even more so in inappropriate situations. I’m stupidly stubborn, opinionated to the verge of argumentative, brutally honest (I refuse to sugarcoat anything), but also pensive and decently conversational—I really enjoy talking about the deeper sides of life and have the tendency to spur on debates or the like when in trusted company/close friends, given that I withhold my opinions unless I know they’re going to at least be given a chance. My love language is quality time tied with words of affirmation, I’m a Cancer sun, and an INFP myers-Briggs type. I like to describe myself as bone-cuttingly realistic with tints of pessimism (if you squint) (lol).

I really enjoy reading, currently rereading Slaughterhouse Five and up next is Dave Grohl’s autobiography. I enjoy drawing with charcoal when I’m just sketching for leisure, but when I’m drawing to practice my skills or working with second skin, I can sit at my desk for hours, researching different styles and techniques. Same thing with music. I’m really polishing my craft with guitar right now, and trying to teach myself at-home production, as a singer-songwriter. I’m a novice drummer as well, and have years with the keys under my belt on top of that. I’m almost entirely done with an EP that I’m hoping to independently release by the end of the year. I also like to go on runs when need be, and I love to travel. If I could get paid to travel while working, that would be the absolute best option for me. (My dream is to buy a van and just like…travel around the states, sightsee, tattoo and play shows. Suuuuper realistic, but hey, it’s the dream.)

I love all types of music, but really love the 90s and have been on a grunge kick as of late, but I’ll really listen to anything under the umbrella of rock, to be honest. Lightning Crashes by Live, She Talks to Angels by Black Crowes and Motorcycle Drive By by Third Eye Blind have all been heavily in my rotation lately. I adore concerts, and feel the most alive while in attendance or preforming. I just have a deep appreciation for art in general, but music really does it for me.

Hopefully this wasn’t too long, once I got started I just didn’t really stop? Anyway, I apologize! Look forward to seeing who you think would be compatible with me (lmao) :) thank you!

Oh this was a hard one! I jumped around as I read through this but ultimately I think I would ship you with Danny!

Jax is such a kickass nickname I'm JEALOUS.

You sound like the type of person I would like to see him date. I'm all for Danny having an alt GF/Partner.

Danny would enjoy your taste in music as I feel he likes a wide range of things as well. He would be over the moon to show you new bands to listen to! You would be his go to person to just relax and be normal. I feel Danny would also enjoy a quieter personality compared to the extroverted ones he's dated before. He doesn't have a lot of silence in his life so I feel this would be crucial for him.

[alexanderwaltonsblog]

Lucia Moniz Played the Character Aurelia

Even in some cases, people stop dating altogether, thinking that love world is no more available for them. It just means that I will be navigating them from a space of knowing that I am more than enough and that I come first. When loneliness creeps in, I remind myself that this is the first time in my life that I’m actively and knowingly prioritizing myself. Sometimes, things go wrong and although it does not feel fair, and it is very hurtful, life goes on. To have fun. Life is too short! If you don't have a partner, you can still square dance! שיחות סקס Research has also shown that a type of writing that allows people to examine their loss through a redemptive lens without blame and which focuses on the positives can be useful useful in helping achieve closure, whereas simply writing and searching for meaning has been found to be ineffective. Time and again, the relationships that you hear people say, “I would have never seen them together,” are the best ones.

This doesn’t mean that I won’t welcome new experiences or relationships. Yes. I make a mean chicken cacciatore. I know that I want to be more secure in who I am, to trust myself more, and to become confident in my ability to take care of myself, make decisions for myself, and thrive on my own. A more visual example of this synergy is a drummer using four separate rhythms to create one drum beat. Younger adults were also more likely to be using online dating apps or websites than older adults. But to do that, the company will need to truly innovate on the dating apps already in existence, which have been criticized for sparking less-than-worthwhile relationships or being more work than they’re worth. When I finally realized that, I came to the conclusion that a relationship, like life, is what we make it. And some may think that because of that, ending a relationship right now is cold or foolish.

But now I realize, while those may have contributed to my decision, it was deeper than that - I was entangled in him. I completed their two-year program while maintaining a long-distance relationship. While the same data show a difference between the percentage of boys and girls who are victims of emotional abuse (44% and 50%, respectively), the gap widens even more for teenagers in the LGBTQ community. Psychological abuse is the most likely form of TDV to be reciprocal-where both partners are perpetrators and victims. Isolation, coercion and blaming (which could all be considered additional examples of emotional or psychological abuse) each have their own section as common tactics used by physically violent partners. This kind of abuse most often overlaps with psychological abuse in teenage relationships. When visible relationships romanticize unhealthy tendencies, how can teenagers learn to see the signs themselves? But you can nevertheless give yourself some time to be sad, try to figure out what happened and finally learn and move on. They’re one of my secret ingredients that I try to sneak into a lot of dishes because the salty briny flavor gives dishes extra punch.

Quarantine has proven to be extremely lonely for a lot of people. Online Dating (also known as Internet dating) is a way for people to find and contact each other through the Internet to arrange a date, usually with the goal of developing a personal and romantic relationship. Conversely, you might find someone completely opposite who foils your chirpy personality through their silent demeanor or vice versa. I might have agreed with them years ago, but time has taught me that waiting until things are “better” before making decisions isn’t what’s always best for us. Sometimes it’s better to take things one step at a time. This section aims to help you understand why these problems crop up in good relationships and what you can do to make it better. 3. A path consisting of many-to-one relationships. I became rededicated to continuing along a path of putting myself first - health-wise and happiness-wise. I've fallen in lust at first sight. We’d completely lost sight of ourselves as individuals, which impacted our ability to be there for each other.

[majorlb]

#ok I'm a little obsessed with this AU honestly #first and foremost Niko as a drummer is a bespoke choice no notes #but also #imagine the string for string solidarity those two would have #Edwin tunes Charles's guitar for him when they're in a pinch #Charles tries to tune his violin exactly once and it makes That Noise like its about to snap in half and he never touches those pegs again #(he would be scared by the amount of force needed also Imao) #Meanwhile Edwin offers to pick up some strings for charles and spends the next 3 days researching all those confusing specs #he's also absolutely APPALED by the number of random objects Charles tries to use as picks "for a new sound' #(just admit you forgot to bring your pick baggy) #speaking of they've dated for like a week and Edwin starts finding guitar picks EVERYWHERE in his flat #they just spawn #there also is a wild goose chase at some point bc they somehow both forgot to bring a nail file on a trip #(it ends with crystal handing them one while hardcore juding them for not jus... asking) #also also I think Edwin would have amazing technique but would never be fully satisfied with his improvisational skills #he always feels like he's just copying smth he's played before #meanwhile Charles has probably never played a song the same way twice #and like #the way they would start influencing each other #Charles sarts using more complex operatic harmonies #Edwin discovers his love of bold percussivos and down strokes @smollsmule you get it

you get the vision 💕😭

Charles never plays the song the same way twice, mostly because he learned by playing by ear (learning by doing) and he gets so lost in the music that he simply let's the mood take him where it goes. It never fails to make the crowd go wild, and also their shows are never predictable because you could go to every single show and never hear a song the same way again. But it always RULES. He does learn how to read sheet music, out of pure necessity for the bands sake. but boy does he hate it.

Edwin thinks sheet music is fun and amused by Charles complaining.

They both approach music so vastly differently and are fascinated by the other.

Edwin who invites Charles to his own performance with orchestra. And at first, he doesn't think Charles will show up, but there he is, whole band with him, giving him enthusiastic thumbs up and standing ovations when it's done.

"What? I'm a music enthusiast"

"You're also enthusiastic about Edwin"

"Two things can be true"

Also Edwin sleeping in metal band t-shirt.

And yes, as soon as they start dating, guitar picks just find their way into every nook and cranny of Edwins apartment. And his violincase. And his SHOE one time.

I'm not done apparently-

Edwin in his little sweaters and pressed collar shirts standing on the side of the stage (he can't be in the audience, the bands crowds are known for their enthusiastic circle pits) and people who follow the band starts to notice him.

Who is this fancy young man? A manager? He's certainly new, but the old manager is still around.

He's in the background of so many pictures, and sometimes in the forefront with Charles arm around his shoulders.

They start hearing violin on the albums, but no one is ever credited (Edwin doesn't want his name on metal music, at least not in the beginning)

But the fans figure out its probably him, because once he showed up later in the show with a violin case, still standing on the side, never on stage, never playing live.

But its not until a fan straight up asks in the commentsection, "Who's the fancy one?" that they get the response "Edwin is Charles boyfriend" To which the band both lose and gain fans.

"We make music criticizing the state of the world and how capitalism and war tears humanity apart! What do you mean we 'went woke' by Charles having a boyfriend?!" writes Niko, the drummer, on Twitter.

Crystal is being physically restrained to stop her from doxxing people

[polarisbibliotheque]

97;Vergil!!

You have NO IDEA how much I started laughing when I saw this was the song for the first one of the Spotify Wrapped Special requests xD

I mean, the lyrics kinda go pretty well with Vergil, but the chaos and viciousness of the song is directly opposit to the blue devil. Nevertheless, pulled it off: started dumb and ended on a sweet note!

Spotify Wrapped Special: 97, Vergil - Reckless Life, by Guns n' Roses

Pairing: Vergil x Reader

Summary: Dante gets bored easy - specially when Vergil keeps reading his poetry in silence. It's time to go out and have some fun: the red devil has a thing or two to show you about your beloved blue devil.

Author's notes: I once saw a drawing on pinterest with Vergil answering the phone at the shop while having drumsticks in his hands and drummer Vergil has lived rent free in my mind ever since. I didn't pin it and have no idea who the artist is (pinterest being shitty with people pinning other's art and not crediting it), so I'm writing this to curse you all with the image of drummer Vergil as well, enjoy :)

About the Song: Reckless Life is from Guns n' Roses' album, Lies. It features Slash screaming at the beginning, it's kinda short and fast-paced. Gn'R has a lot of punk influences, Duff (their bassist) being one of the guys from the punk scene in Seattle before moving to LA and joining Gn'R. Even if there's a lot of blues in their music, more so on Use Your Illusion 1 & 2 albums, they always have the crazy, fast-paced, vicious, quick punk rock songs - this is one of them. The lyrics are about their reckless rock n' roll lifestyle, so it kinda suits the song in general.

This isn't researched, I just thought it'd be nice to leave my two cents on the songs that end up here. I'm a crazy music lover and could talk about it all day, so feel free to skip these "about the song" bits if it isn't to your liking ^^

97, Vergil – Reckless Life, by Guns n’ Roses

“Man… You gotta learn to have a lil’ more fun in that life of yours!”

As always, Dante was sitting on his huge chair, leaning on the desk while looking at his brother. Vergil, in the other hand, had his legs crossed, sitting with a perfect posture on the couch – limiting himself to only raise his silvery eyes from the pages of his current read.

“I am having fun.”

As he muttered in response, Dante just glanced at you with exasperation in his sky-blue eyes.

“Hey, he’s your brother. Don’t look at me like that.” You shrugged, leaning on his desk while skimming over the magazine that was left there for half a year.

“Hell sure wrecked your sense of fun…” Dante sighed, slapping the desk while suddenly getting up. You and Vergil just stared at the red devil. “We’re goin’ out! C’mon, get yourselves ready!”

“We don’t have enough money for whatever you want to do, Dante…” Vergil just rolled his eyes, turning them back to his book.

You held back a laugh. They were perfect for each other; you would always stand by that.

“We don’t need money, ass-hat!” With that, Dante gently kicked Vergil’s foot, making his brother stare at him as if summoned swords would suddenly pin Dante on the wall. “Gotta show ya how to live this life, c’mon. Let’s go!”

You didn’t argue. Leaving the magazine back on the desk – which would probably stay there for another half year – you took your leather jacket and waited by the door.

“You’re going along with this, huh…?” Vergil’s words were slow, and his eyes were piercing, but you were already used to that, just shrugging in response. He sighed, heavily. “I am going to regret this…”

*

“Hey, wanna see somethin’ cool?”

A slight smile appeared on your lips as Dante leaned by your side on the bar and nudged you with his shoulder.

“Why do I have the feeling it involves vexing Vergil…?” You looked back at the red devil with a smart look in the corner of your eyes, making Dante flash you a positively mischievous grin.

“Because annoying him is usually cool.” Dante winked at you. “Since we were kids, sweetheart.”

Vergil came back with a couple more drinks for each of you – both had done a job for the bar owner and the poor man wrongfully gave the Spardas the honor of never having to pay for anything in the bar.

Indeed, you didn’t need money to have fun that night. Point for Dante.

“Ya know, I can play the guitar like a beast…” Dante suddenly started talking a little too loud, obviously for Vergil’s ears. “But I bet Shakespeare over here completely forgot how to play something cool instead of only his boring violin songs.”

“It isn’t boring, it’s classical music.” Vergil glanced at his brother with an icy look. “You should try it sometime. It might get something into that foolish head of yours.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve already heard Dante blasting classical music.” You had to point that out. Of course, it wasn’t the brooding music type Vergil enjoyed, but the more energic ones. Mozart was an all time favorite of the red devil. “No. It wasn’t Bohemian Rhapsody, although I do count that as a classical song.”

“Who doesn’t?” Dante agreed but kept on speaking as soon as Vergil opened his mouth to argue. “Anyway. Bet’cha can’t play drums like the good ol’ days, smart pants.”

You immediately glanced at Vergil, mouth slightly open. The blue devil noticed your glare but didn’t give in: he had only a stern look to his brother.

“You play drums…? Really…?!” Oh, yes. That night was surely turning into something very interesting.

“I don’t find it that surprising.” Vergil had one of his eyebrows raised, his icy look still in his eyes. The rosy tone on his cheeks, on the other hand, gave away how the alcohol was starting to affect him – even if just a little.

“We used to have a band when we were kids, sweetheart.” Dante leaned on the bar again; his cheeks also rosy. His behavior and cocky smile gave away how much the alcohol was getting to the son of Sparda, though. “The Hell Brothers. Dad laughed a lot when we told ‘im the name.”

“Mom thought it was terrible.” Vergil chuckled as he reminisced alongside his brother. Not something you would see every day. “I thought it was fitting.”

“On that, we agree!” Dante laughed at him, but scoffed right after. “The good ol’ days are gone, now. Smart pants over here probably forgot everything.”

“Well, for your information…” As soon as Vergil started talking, you had to hold back your laugh. He didn’t let that side of him come out much, but the mix of alcohol and Dante taunting him, made Vergil lift one of his fingers and get this professorial look while standing tall. You had to say, you loved it. “I do remember. I even picked up a few songs after we grew apart.”

“Really?!” You and Dante asked at the same time, leaning towards Vergil with an unsurmountable amount of interest in your eyes.

He was a sitting duck, willingly entering the predator’s nest – you and Dante. Poor Vergil didn’t even see it coming.

“Bet’cha can’t play on stage with me.” Dante smacked the bar; his sky-blue eyes fiery like his devil trigger. “You don’t have the balls.”

“I don’t, huh…?” Vergil’s silvery eyes carried Dante’s taunt, with a different fire – one filled with competition.

Both of them had that issue – but Vergil held on to his pride even to survive. It was his pride that dragged him out of Hell – and it was his pride that made him fall into the stupidest of bets alongside his brother. Vergil’s beautiful strength but ultimate fatal flaw.

You couldn’t help but smile. Such a dumb, wonderful powerhouse of a man-demon.

“Never had, Verge. You’d say you don’t want to look foolish…” While talking, Dante threw his hair back, making his voice darker and raspier, impersonating his twin. You snorted while drinking, having to spit it back in your glass – definitely not one of your most wonderful moments, but that lit something inside Vergil: he was being made fun of and you couldn’t hold back your laugh. The game was on, right then and there. “But we both know it’s ‘cause you don’t have the balls to go on stage and show your skills. Must be all old and rusty.”

Vergil didn’t even answer. He just took off his coat.

You stared back at him, eyebrows furrowed. It was rare, but there was Vergil wearing his leathery vest, arms completely free and hands covered only by his old gloves. He usually sported this look while training with family – you and everyone in the crew included – but it was very unusual for him to have bare arms on the streets. He gave you his treasured coat, making you immediately hold it.

“Save it for me, please.” With that phrase, Vergil turned the glass with his drink in one shot, drinking it as if it was water. You looked even more baffled. “So. Are we going or what? Don’t you have the balls, Dante…?”

You turned back at Dante – eyes wide and a surprised smile on your lips; but no surprise was better than the one stamped on the red devil’s face. Dante finished his own drink in one shot as well, laughing in the process.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about! C’mon, smart pants!” He got up, clapping in excitement. Turning back at you, Dante winked while talking. “Get ready to see The Hell Brothers, sweetheart!”

You watched in awe as Dante had a word with the band playing that night. When they looked at Vergil – arms crossed, just staring at them – the men shrugged and figured why not. After all, everyone there knew Dante and a favor could be collected as a favor later – in case they had any problems with demons.

The bassist and vocalist went to the band area with the Sparda brothers – Dante using a pick from the guitarist and Vergil with the drumsticks from the drummer. You could hardly believe that was happening, in all honesty.

“Hey, bitches! Pay attention, we got new guys playin’ this one with us!” The vocalist took the cigarette out of his mouth to scream on the mic, making everyone turn to them. “They call themselves The Hell Brothers, a mouthful, huh?! Let’s burn this place down then!”

“Wat’cha wanna play, Verge? What do you remember?” Dante turned to his brother, who was testing the pedals while the vocalist was speaking. Vergil just lifted his silver eyes to his twin; a smirk playing in the corner of his lips.

“You know this one. Try to keep up.”

With those words, Vergil hit the cymbals four times before releasing all his strength on the snare drum – Dante immediately smiled, knowing very well which song was. He didn’t expect that from Vergil but hey, he didn’t even expect his brother to accept playing with him again either. As soon as the cue for the guitar came in, Dante began the fast and vicious riff of Reckless Life.

“I’m reckless and feelin’ no pain, you know I’ve got no need to control! Livin’ with the danger, I’m always on the edge now, with million dollar visions that I hold!”

Fast and vicious was a nickname for both of them – although, as soon as the vocals started singing the screamed lyrics, you noticed Dante was able to slow down to simple chords, but Vergil remained on the same speedy beat, setting the quick punk rhythm for the whole band. He didn’t stop and it seemed he didn’t lose both rhythm and strength.

That was another thing you noticed while watching him: Vergil followed his twin brother and played like a beast, almost as if he envied Tommy Lee himself. You argued the drummer of Mötley Crüe was one of the most entertaining to watch just from the sheer strength he used to play, but Vergil… He wasn’t much different, if you had to admit.

There was something raw, brutal in the way he played. Nothing like the refined emotions Vergil could sing with his violin… That was his baser instinct, his devil coming out. Indeed, they were the Hell Brothers: you could see a facet of Vergil he so very rarely let out.

On the brink of the riff, Vergil already had sweat dripping from his forehead – arms slightly glistening from it. You opened a bright smile when you saw him singing along to the lyrics just before the riff, closing his eyes as he played with his feelings overflowing.

“Livin’ like this never ever tore my life apart, I know how to maintain, ‘cause it’s comin’ from my heart!”

There was something of beautiful about his fangs slightly showing and the savage light on his eyes as Vergil opened them again – meeting yours for a brief moment. You smiled back at him, singing along the lyrics. And that, made him smile back – a cocky smirk, but nonetheless, a beautiful one.

“I lead a reckless life! And I don’t need your advice! I lead a reckless life! And you know, it’s my only vice!”

It was one of your favorite parts of the song really, just how the drums followed perfectly the guitar solo. As Dante shredded as well as Slash himself, he turned to the drums, finding Vergil’s eyes. The brothers smiled at each other for a glimpse of a second – something that made you scream, rooting for them. Dante was going all out on the guitar, and Vergil was following it – you didn’t want any of them to have a sudden moment of logic that could spiral them into their usually depressive thoughts. They were having fun, as brothers, after so long.

You could only imagine how Eva and Sparda were proud of them playing together as kids even if they weren’t that good when they were young – something you doubted wholeheartedly.

Planting one foot on the bass drum, Dante kept soloing while Vergil quickly rolled his eyes – either way, he kept on playing, never allowing Dante to slow down for a second. He kept the vicious rhythm, complimenting Dante with cymbals and snare drums whenever the song called for it.

You could swear the drum was going to fall apart at the end, really.

“Reckless life! I lead a reckless life!”

A small pause on it made Vergil rest the drumsticks on the snare drums, throwing his head back so his hair could go back to its place – the white locks were dripping with sweat and his neck was glistening as it seemed like he had just come out of a swimming pool. Vergil could try all he wanted, but his hair was already coming down his eyes – but it didn’t really seem like he cared at the moment.

With a breath for the last riff, the fierce rhythm came back, only to wrap up with him smashing the cymbals and snare drums in the same rhythm Dante stroke his chords, the bass drum never stopping for a second. You could see how both of the Sparda brothers could vent their frustrations and endless energy on rock and roll.

As they wrapped up the song, you got up from your bar stool, raising both arms and screaming as if you were seeing Guns n’ Roses themselves. The whole bar was fired up with energy, screaming and applauding, asking for more. Vergil left the drumsticks on the drum snare and threw his dampened hair back once more, as he always did.

“Hey guys, that was great! Wanna go for another song?” The vocalist covered the mic, turning to the twins as you approached quickly with Vergil’s coat in your arms.

“Eh, I dunno. Mister frowny face here doesn’t really play anymore, this was probably a one-time thing.” Dante pointed at Vergil, who just observed his brother for a while. “Thanks, though. It’d be nice.”

“Hey! You guys playing more?!” You had a huge smile on your face, eyes glistening in the dimmed lights of the bar.

“They don’t seem like they will, angel.” The vocalist sighed, placing one of his hands on his waist and smiling at you. He looked back at Dante and Vergil. “That’s ya dove?”

“Yes. That is my dove…” Vergil murmured in response, throwing his hair back one more time. “You would like to hear more, love…?”

“Hell yes I would!” The excitement in your answer made Vergil let out a quick laugh, turning his eyes back to Dante.

“Can you keep up?”

“Hell yeah I can, ass-hat!” Dante laughed, taking off his coat now. It was hot and the night was just starting. “Keep an eye on this for me, sweetheart?”

“No worries, red devil.” You winked back, placing Dante’s coat alongside Vergil’s.

You ended up on the table with the other members of the band – who were quite happy to take some time off and drink while listening to good music for a change. No one would mess with you, obviously, after knowing you were the Hell Brothers drummer's partner.

As the vocalist announced their next song and they tuned their instruments, Vergil still kept his gaze on his brother. It was something he had forgotten about – that feeling of playing with Dante, of having a brother. Of course, Vergil loved music and playing his violin was always satisfactory – but playing with Dante in a band had a different dynamic; a dynamic that couldn’t be replaced by any instrument in the world.

The songs they played together might not be the most refined and beautifully composed in the world, but they spoke to a baser instinct only they knew was there – and only they would understand in each other.

“I missed this.” Vergil’s tone was dark as always, but Dante’s ears were attuned enough to his brother’s voice, making him turn back to Vergil immediately. His twin’s eyes, for a change, looked like molten platinum. “I like playing with you, Dante.”

“I like playing with you as well.” Dante smiled back, his sky-blue eyes carrying the love he never stopped feeling for his brother – even after the most despicable things Vergil did, Dante would never stop loving him. “I missed you so much, Verge.”

As a spectator, you could only see the genuine and heartfelt smile that painted Vergil’s lips – and how his eyes were vulnerable. Looking back at Dante, he carried the same expression – as if both brothers would allow some tears to fall before playing; sharing something only they knew about.

You could watch them playing together for the rest of your life.

[xocasper]

(Jet Black) Hotel Mirror

Pairing: Mikey Way x Reader Summary: At long last, you're spending the night in a hotel. Your plans are showering and sleep, but a bit of sex wouldn't be a terrible inconvenience. Warnings: NSFW content Tags: dirty talk, mirror sex, orgasm denial, rough sex Word Count: 2169 A/N: Holy shit, I had a busy week. Hopefully this week won't be quite as busy and I'll have more time to write! I have a pretty good idea for a fic right now, but I'll have to do a bit of research before I attempt to write it (aka I have no idea how threesomes work). Anyway, enjoy this fic that I finished on my lunch break :)

You slammed your sticks against your drum kit, playing the last song of the set with as much energy as you could muster. Your eyes drifted from the sea of spirited fans to Frank, who was hyper as ever, before finally setting your sights on your boyfriend, Mikey. He had slowly grown more comfortable on stage, stepping out of his microscopic comfort zone every now and then. He looked up at you as the chorus hit, sending you a smile while his fingers danced across the bass.

The two of you had been close since you joined the band back in 2004. They needed a drummer on very short notice, and luckily you were friends with Brian and he talked you up enough that they decided to meet you. Though skeptical at first, the band was very impressed with your drumming skills. Now here you were, three years and an album later, playing your heart out on stage for thousands of people.

As the lights dimmed and Gerard’s voice faded out, you felt a wave of exhaustion crash over you. Thankfully you would be staying in a hotel room tonight, and you were more than grateful to have a real bed to sleep in; that is, if Mikey let you get any sleep.

The adrenaline was still high backstage, which was to be expected at this point. A pair of strong arms snaked around your waist, eyes fluttering shut as your boyfriend rested his chin on your head. “You did really great tonight,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Yeah? I thought I messed up a bit during House of Wolves, but–” He cut off your sentence, shushing you gently. “You did perfect, don’t worry.” You turned around in his arms, staring up at him lovingly, his gaze holding the same passion. His lips were mere millimeters from yours when you were interrupted.

“Get a room!” Frank yelled, pretending to vomit. “Yeah, can you make out with my little brother somewhere else? Preferably when we’re not around?” Gerard piped up, Mikey huffing in defeat. “We’re staying in a hotel tonight, so you guys can be as gross as you want later,” Ray reminded you, and as if on cue, Brian walked over ushering everyone outside, insisting that you needed to rest.

The ride to the hotel was peaceful; no one bothered to go to their bunk, knowing that if they went down for a nap before you arrived, they’d be a pain to wake up. As hard as you tried to stay awake, Mikey’s embrace was far too comfortable and you could feel yourself dozing off in his arms, whatever conversation they were having turning to white noise.

He shook you gently as the bus stopped, kissing your forehead as you rubbed your eyes. His hand slipped into yours as he pulled you up, leading you outside where the cold jolted you awake. “Shit, it’s cold out,” you mumbled, and he laughed as you gripped him for warmth. “Woke you up real fast, huh?” he teased, earning him a playful shove.

Ray went to grab the room keys while the rest of you stood around, sticking out like a sore thumb against the beige walls. “Alright, rock paper scissors for whoever takes the room next to them,” Frank said, facing Gerard who rolled his eyes at the proposition. “There’s no way in hell I’m sharing a wall with them again.” You raised your eyebrows at them, torn between embarrassment and amusement, while Mikey stayed stoic as usual, biting back an arrogant remark that would definitely have him sleeping on the floor.

“You guys are so dramatic,” you said, halting their game. “Nah, we almost called the police the first night, sounded like someone was slaughtering you,” he grinned. “Jealousy’s a bitch, Frank,” you smiled back, Ray walking over before he could say anything else.

The second Mikey got the key, he was pulling you into the elevator, hardly waiting for everyone else. Another game of rock paper scissors ensued, followed by a groan from Frank as he lost for the third time. He started to grumble something about sleeping in the lobby, but you missed the end of it when the doors opened, Mikey wasting no time dragging you off to your room.

The second the door shut, his lips were pressed against yours, hands on your hips as he gave you the first real kiss in a long while. It was hard to get privacy with the guys around, so kisses were short and sex bordered on nonexistent. Occasionally you could hide somewhere long enough to relieve the tension, but most of the time you found yourself waiting for hotel stays.

“I’m gonna go shower,” you told him, giving him one more kiss before heading off to the bathroom. He furrowed his brows, confused and a bit hurt, trailing after you. “You could shower later,” he said, and you smiled gently, willing to compromise. “Or you could join me?”

He seemed to like the idea, hand on your lower back as you stepped into the bathroom. It was actually clean, which was a bit of a shock at first, but the hotel was nicer than some of the others you’d stayed in. There were warm disc lights above the sink, casting a soft glow upon the two of you. The countertop stretched across the wall, a good five feet or so, with a wide mirror covering the wall behind it.

Mikey stared into the mirror, meeting your gaze, back to having no interest in showering. You looked back at him, stomach fluttering as you had the same thought. He grinned and bent down to your neck, holding eye contact as he whispered against your skin. “Or we could shower later,” he proposed once more, his breath sending shivers down your spine. You tried to hold your ground though, shaking your head and beginning to strip, avoiding his gaze to not give in.

He copied you, stripping down to nothing and giving you a sweet kiss. Your self-control crumbled as he stood before you, his lips turning a loving kiss into a lustful one almost as soon as it started. Damn, he was good.

He knew it too, trying not to smirk as his hands slid up your body, yours tangled in his hair, shower long forgotten. His tongue traced your bottom lip, and you almost resisted and returned to your original task, but with his soft hands and warm mouth, you couldn’t find it in you to be stubborn.

His fingers brushed against your cheek before pulling you closer, tongue sliding against yours. A shit-eating grin crept across his face as he pulled away, knowing he had gotten his way. You were still dizzy from his kiss, ignoring his pride and pulling him right back to you. The two of you tripped all the way to the counter, leaning against it as he placed wet kisses down your neck.

The countertop was cold against your thighs but Mikey was warm, his hands massaging them as his mouth skimmed across your chest. He brought his fingers to your mouth, groaning as you sucked on them. They glided down to your core as he kissed you messily, tugging lightly on your lip as he pulled away. “Were you thinking about this during the show?” he asked you, fingers sweeping across your slick folds. A shaky sigh passed your lips, and you nodded gently.

“Use your words, c’mon,” he mumbled, still barely touching you. “Yeah, ‘m always thinking about you,” you breathed, wiggling in hopes of friction, but he pulled his hand away. You whined softly, already missing his touch, but he just chuckled cynically. “Do you want something?” So he was going to be an ass about it.

“You know what I want, Mikey,” you huffed, and he raised his eyebrows in return. “I don’t think so. How ‘bout you tell me?” You could feel your stomach burning with embarrassment, but it seeped lower, turning into arousal as he waited for you to speak. He clicked his tongue impatiently, tossing his hands up and backing up further.

“Where are you going?” you asked a bit too quickly. “I can’t help you if you can’t tell me what you want.” He stopped as he said it, and you gave in. “I want you, Mikey.” Obviously this wasn’t enough for him, but he at least turned around. “Specifics, baby,” he told you, walking closer. It took all of your strength to not glare at him, looking him up and down and deciding it was worth the embarrassment.

“I want you to fuck me.” Miraculously, he still wasn’t satisfied. “How?” he asked, hands back on your thighs. “With your fingers, then your–” your breath hitched as he left an open-mouthed kiss on your neck. “Then my what, hun?” His lips were placed right below your ear, waiting with a slew of lewd words. “Want you to fuck me hard with your cock, Mikey,” you said, burning with humiliation, but just as before, it relocated between your legs. He moaned softly below your ear, nipping your skin softly before turning you around.

You watched in the mirror as his hands slid down your body, stroking the inside of your thighs before they trailed up to your dripping cunt. He took his time, thumb barely brushing across the skin, gathering your wetness on his fingers before touching you properly. He pushed one in gently, your breath catching in your throat, followed by a moan as he pressed his thumb to your clit.

Every touch was dizzying, varying between gentle strokes and the sudden curl of his finger, head tipping back as he added another, spreading you open for you to see. He used his other hand to pull your chin back down, having you watch as his fingers pumped in and out of you.

He went at a solid pace, reveling in the garbled praise he received while curses and slurred phrases fell from your lips. He circled your clit as you felt your muscles tighten, legs becoming unsteady as you gripped the countertop.

“Mikey, fuck, I’m gonna–” you said, staring at his reflection as he pulled away, listening to your pathetic cries with a wicked smile. “Nah, I don’t think you will,” he replied, tongue swirling around his fingers, making a show of it. You gaped at him, searching for words but also knowing not to complain. He could tell what you were thinking, speaking up for you. “Good things come to those who wait,” he told you, and you rolled your eyes at the stupid saying. “You can get yourself off if you want, or you can wait for me to fuck you,” he mumbled in your ear, now returned to his previous position, hands resting on your waist.

“Please,” you breathed, watching his eyes trace your body in the mirror, committing it to memory. “You’re gonna watch yourself come apart on my cock, yeah? Are you wet knowing you’ll get to see me fuck you?” Your eyes fluttered shut at the thought, and he sucked on the crook of your neck, hands coming to rest beside yours.

He leaned forward, lining himself up with you before pushing in slowly. A stammered ‘shit’ slipped out as he delved further. He moaned softly as you took every inch, cunt warm and wet, desperately waiting for a sign to continue. After another mumbled ‘please,’ he kept going, pulling back before thrusting in again, face contorted in pleasure.

You watched as he pounded into you, a cacophony of moans and names encased the two of you, unable to process anything but each other. He moved his hands back to your skin, one diving down to your clit, the other cupping your breast.

It was all too much, going dumb over his touch. “I’m gonna—“ you moaned out, only for him to cut you off. “You can wait,” he muttered back, thrusts growing sloppier each time. You let out an uncontrollable sob as he denied you, feeling as if you’d burst if you had to wait any longer.

“Please let me come,” you pleaded, breath shaking as you locked eyes with him. He took pity on you, humming in question. You could tell he was close, growing louder as you clenched around him. “Fuck, come with me,” he commanded, your vision darkening as he released inside of you, continuing to fuck you as you held yourself up against the countertop, body weak from the exertion.

He stayed inside for a minute and kept his arms wrapped around you, surveying your dazed expression. Your hair was a mess, lips wet and skin blemished, pupils still dilated, and you were practically hearing colors. “Damn,” you said, incapable of forming words. He laughed quietly behind you, “Yeah.”

You hauled yourself up, resting against his chest and tilting your head up to look at him, pressing a small kiss to his lips. “I think it’s time for that shower.”

taglist:

@lubbockshusband​

[morerelatableautisticcontentblog]

The Makings of a Maniac Pixie Dream Girl

I have been thinking for a week or so about writing about being Autistic and being much more likely to enter an abusive romantic relationship. And, while I know that is very, very common from hanging out in Autistic groups and from my own personal experience and from the limited research available, I think my thought was far too limited. It didn't seem like The Blog to write. I sat down to write it and the data and the words didn't flow.

Now, I know why. This morning I came across and interesting study from Dr. Amy Pearson. From it, "The findings highlighted the experience of polyvictimization within the sample, with many participants having experienced multiple forms of interpersonal violence across the life span." Right then and there, I came to understand that The Blog I needed to write would be talking about abuse in all different forms- and how susceptible we are to it! I will explore the "why" from my own perspective and experience.

Many of us are rejected often and regularly by our peers. I know, I didn't have a lot of friends when I was in elementary school. It was a very lonely time, that has stayed with me. I am not male, so I cannot speak to how the undiagnosed male experience goes or the mechanisms that open them to abuses, though I know abuse towards males in romantic relationships is much more common that people discuss.

With that said, such experiences often turn us into strange, fleeting things. As we grow, we are often perceived as Manic Pixie Dream Girls, with our unorthodox hair, clothes, and ways of moving to the beat of our own drummers. I was the nerdy librarian variety!

We often don't feel worthy of such romantic intentions and are just happy anyone at all is interested in us, after years of rejection and being felt that we are "too much" in all spaces. We often don't even think our friends truly like us, because of how often a person will befriend us, only for us to figure out they using us as a English tutor.

We are often gaslit when we talk about how loud the lights are in the cafeteria. We are told that we are crazy, because lights don't have sound. Same for when we talk about taking a test in a quiet classroom and being distracted hearing the electricity buzz in the walls. And a million other ways, we are taught to doubt ourselves...

The seam to the sock is fine. You'll forget about it in five minutes!

Corduroy is a perfectly good material! You are so picky!

Finding pants for you is too hard!

Why don't you leave your room and join the family for the party?

Crushed velvet is so soft and fashionable! You should love it!

If we cannot trust ourselves to know that lights are loud and that electricity does buzz and that toe seams are of the Debil and that we don't like hot materials like corduroy or crushed velvet or pants that go up to our boobs or that we do not like the company of people who talk down to us, then what hope do we have of knowing how to set boundaries?!

Figuring out in 2019 that I am Autistic reframed these situations for me and I was able to learn that I am not crazy or broken. That my perceptions and experiences are valid, even when others tried to invalidate them. Finding out I am Autistic gave me the chance to speak up for myself and what my sensory needs are and honoring those needs! I didn't have to pretend anymore that going grocery shopping where there are bright, buzzy lights didn't give me a sensory overload.

In fact, right before I found out I am Autistic, I thought was having some problems with my hearing. I was at the check out and the cashier had to keep repeating what she was explaining to me, but I absolutely couldn't hear her. I even went and go my ears checked and they were perfect. I know now that I was having a sensory processing issue that stemmed from being overstimulated. Now, wear noise reduction earplugs and am kind to myself when I am overstimulated.

I am glad so many Actually Autistic adults are taking up so much space and being so loud! I don't want another generation of Autistics growing up not trusting their own selves and feeling fundamentally flawed. This will go a long was towards reducing the amount of polyvictimization!

[draslihanxfahri-bailey]

While she would've been more than understanding, the woman was happy to hear the duo accept her offering. "Perfect! I have some baggies of strawberries, blueberries, and pomegranate arils; some chocolates; I have some homemade hummus and aish baladi; and I got some baggies of pistachios and almonds. Please, pick and have has much as you want." Her lips curled into a smile at Kaya's words. While she knew French, she understood wanting to help immerse your child in speaking English in a primary English-speaking country. With Alex, she insured that her daughter already knew Turkish, Arabic, Hebrew, Ladino, Greek for her uncle, and English, primarily the former two and the latter. Fortunately, her eldest had a knack for languages like her and her family. Now having spent the past few years learning Japanese and Spanish as well.

Yet it was easy to forget about the treats as soon as she realized who she was speaking to. While all her research didn't mention Iris once, she learned about the girl from Eli. It felt wrong, meeting her before he could mend things with Kaya and Roman. To look at her and realize that Harrison's eyes were staring right back at her. God, how much pain has Kaya been with that realization every day? How much would it hurt Eli to see the man he loved living on through Iris? It felt unfair. It was heartbreaking. And she forgot how to breathe again.

Kaya's fear was understandable. Yet it didn't stop her from feeling worse, especially once the girls began to pick up on the tension. The curator winced as Alex turned to her. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, how she was also becoming concerned about the whole situation. "Sorun değil," she told her softly. Giving her a gentle smile before kissing her forehead. Alex wrapped her arms around Asli, peaking over her shoulder back at Kaya while her mother held her. She looked back at the other, shaking her head. "Je suis désolé, je ne veux pas vous effrayer," she offered. Hoping, praying, that speaking in French could help in some form or way.

The last thing Aslihan wanted to do was make things worse. She wanted Kaya, Iris, and Roman to be a part of their lives. For Eli to work things out with his former bandmates and for them to be a family again. For the children to grow up together. For them to be a family together and put the past behind them. At least, for Harrison's sake. While she never knew the man, she was certain that seeing Amethyst like this would've broken his heart.

Alex looked back at her mother and she nodded. Smiling softly before saying, "Go play with her. We just need to talk for a moment. Everything's going to be okay." The seven year old didn't look convinced for a moment. Yet, looking between Asli and Iris, she soon nodded and let go of her mum. Moving back to her new friend and heading off with her to play. And as she looked back at Rhia, she was relieved to see that the baby had fallen asleep in her stroller. Leaving for things to be just between the two women. A conversation that was bound to happen; Just, not as soon as she was expecting.

She looked back at the drummer and winced at her words, moving her hands behind her back with one hand reaching up to hold her other arm. Trying to appear as open as possible to the other. "I'm sorry. I swear, I wasn't trying to scare you or Iris. I... I didn't know about everything until recently." Though, she felt shameful as she admit that. After knowing Elijah for nearly four years yet only just now learning the truth as to why he left Amethyst; She knew how bad that must look. She nearly let out a sad laugh at her words. God, if only she had shown up a year earlier. Then she might've known the struggles her and Eli faced once learning about their daughter. "Trust me, it wasn't an easy journey," she admitted softly.

Yet, would that only made this harder? After all, Kaya should've been there. Her, Harrison, Roman, and Toni should've all been there during the pregnancy, helping to calm down Eli with his fears and helping them. They should've been there from the beginning and see their niece grow up. That is... Assuming that her and Eli would've even had a chance to be together, considering his love for Harry.

The Egyptologist swallowed thickly. "He shouldn't have left the way he did. Losing Harrison... I can't imagine the pain you all experienced. Especially you." Especially Eli. "But, regardless, I'm sorry. I wish that things were still good between you lot. You're his family. Is... Is there any way to mend things? I know that it can't change the past, but it could lead to a better future, if possible." ||📜@kayadubois

Kaya grinned at the other woman as she scoured around her bag in search for treats, ignoring her daughter's eyes bulging open at the promise of sweets. "Oh, please, don't worry, we've just had a little snack ourselves." her daughter's eyes zeroed in on her at the refusal and were followed with the best attempt at puppy eyes she'd ever seen. She'd never in her life been able to deny those eyes anything, much less now when accompanied by Iris' pout. "...fine. Just one little snack, if you ask nicely." she saw her daughter open her mouth excitedly and raised a finger, cutting her off quickly. "In English, please" Iris could speak it, Kaya had made sure of it, but she knew her daughter, just like herself, resorted to the comforts of French more than she should. At times, the little girl would forget others around them didn't speak the language, and get fussy about being made to switch. Kaya could already see the frown begin to settle between her blonde brows, but Iris was saved by the bell, or rather, by the other woman's voice uttering Kaya's name.

Immediately, Kaya's casual arm around her child tightened, pulling Iris closer towards herself, her own body angling away from the stranger who said her name like she'd seen a ghost. This wasn't the way she'd get recognised by a random fan of the band, someone who might have been obsessed with her during her twenties, a crazed paparazzo. She couldn't place what this tone was, and that was even worse. She looked at the children, then back at the woman, searching for clues, anything that would tell her whether she needed to bolt out of the park, into her car and back to Maryland.

Iris was clearly picking up on her mother's anxiety because a small hand landed in her neck, snapping her eyes out of their darting and instead looking at her baby, who know looked worried, almost scared. Forgetting her previous request, she murmured. "C'est bon, ma chérie." she settled her child on her hip and stood up, trying to put some distance between the stranger and Iris, angling her away from the woman, who also mimicked her action and stood up, her hands careful, soothing. However, Kaya's eyes didn't miss how the other woman's widened upon landing on Iris and her frown deepened, mistrust glaring from her eyes. "Who are you." It wasn't even a question, it was almost a demand, a mother hiding her own fear for the sake of her child.

The answer came, and if possible, it made it all worse. Her eyes darted back to the toddler and the baby, who now looked confused back at her, and she realised she had seen them before at the Spring Extravaganza, laughing in Elijah's arms. Her brain whirled with information, trying to take it all in. The bigger child looked older than Iris by a few years, but the younger… The younger had features Kaya had seen before, and her eyes snapped back up to the woman, Elijah's girlfriend, who at the very least shared a child with him.

She swallowed, trying to find words, any words, she had to say to this woman, who, regardless of having done nothing to deserve it, immediately infused Kaya with a sense of dread. What had Elijah told her? She clearly knew who Iris was, if that stare she tried to hide was anything to go by, but what else? Did it matter? Elijah had deemed they all were dead for him, why should she care about any of these people?

The silence dragged on, uncomfortable, only broken when little Iris, tired of being upended from the floor and her own worries forgotten, whispered in her mother's ear. "Maman, veux descendre." the words snapped Kaya out of her reverie and she looked at the girl, realising she had no idea what was going on, just that her maman had suddenly freaked out and taken her away from her new friend. She cursed herself in her brain and quickly plastered a smile for her daughter's sake, squatting to put her down again. "Sorry, ma puce. Why don't you show your new friend your sand toys? They're back with your backpack." she gently shooed the two girls away, old enough to pick up on the tension between the two women.

Watching them leave, Kaya crossed her arms, unsure. How did she speak to Asli, when she could barely tolerate thinking about the man that linked them together? "I wish I could say it is nice to finally meet you, but I wasn't aware you existed until… well, until now." It wasn't exactly true. She figured there was someone, or had been someone, what with Elijah carrying two children around the other week, but having Asli standing in the flesh in front of her was jarring. She should have known this woman. She should have teased Elijah about liking her and not asking her out, befriended her in order to annoy him, told her embarrassing stories about her boyfriend in his terrible twenties. Instead, she had this. Resentment, pain, and, in the quiet recesses of her mind, envy. Because she had gotten to keep her friend, when she'd been forced to lose him.

Her eyes kept fleeting about, the girls, the baby, the ground. Asli's face. She was a beautiful woman, kind eyes, now looking concerned, and she couldn't meet them for too long. She wanted to get away, but Iris and Alex kept her rooted to the spot. She would not ruin this for her daughter. "Nice children. He always said he would never have them, but I didn't really know him all that well after all, so..." there was bitterness in her words, mostly towards herself, and what Asli represented, just by virtue of existing.

@draslihanxfahri-bailey