#and the conclusion was that while they were going to follow different paths they would always stay together for now

[yume-fanfare]

something something the fact that hajime and mitsuru more or less assume and understand that ra*bits are going to follow different paths probably sooner rather than later but are also the two that want it to happen less

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Lox the Fox

Male Yandere Fox Hybrid x Gender Neutral Reader CW: Noncon, somnophilia, implied cum in food, magic, drugging, biting, claiming bites, knotting, manipulation, chasing, kidnapping, general yandere behavior, references to an incident with a sweet potato Word Count: 5.6k (I am so sorry that this comm took so long, though I was dealing with a number of different issues. Hope you all enjoy it!)

You were but a humble trader. Once somewhat prominent in the medium sized town of Ridgespire, humiliating rumors began circulating about being caught in a compromising position with a sweet potato. The totally baseless story spread throughout the entire town. You were a laughing stock. When you could no longer handle it you left for a fresh start and new opportunities.

You decided to set up shop in the town of Westwend. It was a small village now, but you saw some serious potential. It was situated in the center of many newer villages and small towns and would serve as a good hub for you. But the best part about your new home was that it was too far for any pernicious lies about you and a sweet potato to have followed.

The locals were very accepting of you as a new traveling trader, though you hadn't had a chance to get close to any of them. Once you had moved in you immediately began planning your trip through the forest to reach a tiny village on the other side. You'd stop there to rest and see if there were any trade opportunities then head north to a larger town.

You stuffed a huge pack full of food, currency, and trade goods before putting it on and setting off on your journey. The village you were heading for was through several miles of forest and the forest itself was a mile or so away itself. You could be there by evening.

You were warned about an infamous fox-man named Lox that lived in the woods. Supposedly he helped or hindered travelers depending on what mood struck him at the time. The local villagers were always wary about crossing through the forest. That is part of what made this trade route so potentially lucrative. Not many were willing to cut straight through the forest.

The weather was cooperating and making your trip quite pleasant. The morning air was fresh and brought with it the scent of honeysuckle, and other prairie flowers. You took the unused and overgrown path and managed to make it to the woods just before the heat of the day, the dense canopy of leaves providing ample protection from the sun.

Though you didn't know it, you had rapidly crossed into the territory of the fox-man, Lox. And with his magic he knew exactly when any human neared the proximity of what he considered to be his land. He had nothing better to do, and delighted in meddling with humans, so with great grace and dexterity he weaved through the tree tops and quickly came upon you. He used his magic to stay silent and invisible so that he could observe you a while before deciding what to do.

It did not take long for Lox’s careful observation of you to lead him to the conclusion that he was intrigued. He used his magic to peep into some of your thoughts and memories to get just a glimpse of the type of person you were. He saw bits of your travels, vague impressions of your views, and something about a sweet potato. He couldn’t quite make it out to be honest. But it didn’t matter. He could tell from your aura that you were a lonely person with few friends and no current ties to anyone.

He decided that instead of hindering you he was going to help you more than he had ever helped anyone else before you. Not just for your sake, but for his as well. He thought maybe he could be your mate. Though he still needed to get to know you a little better though before he was totally sure. He could only get to know someone so well through his magic, so he really needed a more direct method.

Rather than simply introduce himself, which he was sure would fail, he devised a cunning plan to get you to see him as your hero. First impressions were immensely important, so if your first time seeing him was when he was saving you then that would make it a lot more likely that you would fall for him.

You continued through the forest, laughing to yourself about how easy a trip this was. You couldn’t believe how the small village dwellers had cut themselves off from such an easy trading route just because of some stories about some magic fox guy. You could believe that beast men existed, you had never seen one yourself, but their existence was never refuted, but magic? That was just too much for you.

Belief in the supernatural and heading the warnings of the villagers would have served you well, but instead the trap was laid and you bumbled right into it.

As you continued on the forest path, nearly gone due to disuse, you came across a clearing with a small cabin. It looked wildly out of place in the wilderness. Perhaps this was the home of the fox man all of the villagers had been so wary of. After gawking for a moment you resumed your journey. You had been traveling for hours and were probably halfway through the woods by now.

As you neared an old but sturdy bridge that marked the final leg of your travels through the forest, you heard a bone chilling growl and your path was suddenly blocked by three snarling wolves. You knew you couldn’t fight them, but the cabin that you had passed wasn’t too far. Maybe, just maybe, you could outrun them and take shelter.

Thinking fast you through your pack towards them, hoping the food in it would distract them enough for you to flee to safety. But no such luck. They weren’t distracted by it at all. At least without it you weren’t so weighed down though. But you were tired from all the walking and the wolves were at your heels. You imagined that you could feel their hot sour breath at your back, but you didn’t look back to confirm it.

Just when you were sure that you were going to find your end in the jaws of the ravenous beasts an orange flash came out of the trees from the direction of the house and stood between you and the feral wolves. There was no mistaking it, it was the fox man of local legend.

The hybrid man stood before the wolves with his back towards you, you could see that he was of a lean build and average height with two triangular ears on his head that were the same color as his wavy red hair. And he had a fox-like tail to match the ears.

As confident as he seemed you seriously doubted that he could take on so many enemies at once. And then you saw why he was so confident. A red tinged gust of magic left his hands and blew the wolves several feet away, making them smack into the trees. With a frightened yelp they scattered. You were in awe, magic was real after all!

When Lox turned to face you he could tell right away by the admiration and gratitude in your eyes that he had made the right decision in conjuring the convincing wolf illusions to scare you back towards him.

Normally seeing your first hybrid man may have at least startled you, but when you met his orange eyes and sharp-toothed smile you could only feel relief. You almost wanted to hug the guy.

“Thank you so much! I really thought I was a goner. I have no idea what I would have done had you not shown up when you had…”

Your stomach turned just thinking about it.

“No problem friend, I just happened to be gathering fruit up in the trees when I saw your predicament.”

Now Lox just had to convince you to stay the night with him. Get to know him better. Once you saw how good of a provider he was and how kind he was you would surely fall for him. He just knew it.

“Well uh… I better go and get my things. I dropped them to flee. And then I gotta keep traveling. Thanks again!”

No no no, that wouldn’t do for Lox at all!

“Don’t be silly! Those wolves could be lurking anywhere, you should just stay at my home while I collect your things. You can always set off tomorrow, I will even escort you through the forest!”

Your heart was still beating at an intense pace with adrenaline leaving you shaky. You didn’t really want to just set off alone so soon after such a scare. But you really should set out again, and you had doubts that the wolves would try anything again so soon.

“I really don’t think that I should, if I keep going I can make up for lost time and make the village well before sundown.”

He couldn’t reveal his true intentions yet, but no matter what happened, now that he had taken such a liking to you, he was never going to be far from you.

“Well, those wolves can be pretty persistent, they aren’t really normal. And it would be really nice to have a bit of company. It doesn’t come very often out here. I don’t think that humans like me all that much to tell the truth...”

Lox put on his best pouting face to elicit your sympathy. To be honest he didn’t mind his loner lifestyle one bit. Though he did want just one person in his life. A good partner. And whether or not you wanted it, that partner was going to be you.

His deception worked wonders on you. Instantly you felt immense sympathy for him. He was helping you so much so you should be happy to offer him your company, if just for a day. It wasn’t like it was a great imposition on you. You wouldn’t even be alive right now if not for Lox and all he wanted was a bit of companionship in return. Besides, you really didn’t want to come across as some sort of bigot…

“Well… if you’re sure it won’t be burdensome, I guess I can stay the night. Thanks for the hospitality, but I think I should go with you to get my pack. It would be pretty rude to make you go and get it for me.”

This also wouldn’t do for Lox, he wanted to enchant your belongings to be able to keep tabs on you even if you left his immediate vicinity. He did not want to run the risk of you ever escaping him, he doubted he would be unable to track you, but it was good to be prepared. The spell was rather loud and involved flashes of magic, he couldn’t take the risk that you could wake up and catch him in the act so having you at his house while he went off to do the enchantment on your stuff was his best solution.

“Don’t be silly, I can zip along through the trees much faster than you can walk! It will be much faster if I go alone.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true… Okay, if you really don’t mind getting it for me.” You felt bad that he had done so much for you already and was now doing more, but his logic made sense.

On the way there you introduced yourself and the two of you chatted a bit about how you both got to where you were currently. He explained the tragic tale of how he had been orphaned as a young teen and had to raise himself in the harsh wilds. The two of you were already pretty close to his humble home so it didn’t take long at all for him to lead you there.

The inside was about what you would expect from the home of someone living the lifestyle of a secluded forest hermit. Not messy, but cluttered in a cozy sort of way. Not a lot of open space, every inch utilized in some way. There were some shelves filled with books and various ornaments and objects of unknown purpose, there was a desk in the corner littered with arcane looking scrolls, a small dining area with dried aromatic herbs hanging from the ceiling, and there was a doorless bedroom attached with an equally well stuffed bedroom, you could see a large bed with red covers and more shelves.

Before he went off to get your pack for you he offered you some miniature sandwiches and some tea and set them on a small table for you.

You thanked him as he left and nibbled on the food he had provided you. You were hungrier than you had realized though and before you knew it, there wasn’t a crumb or sip left.

Meanwhile Lox had already located your belongings and busily casting his little spell on your things. He was hoping he could convince you to stay with him, but realistically it could take a few encounters. This would help ensure that those encounters kept happening. He considered it the “dating” phase of your “relationship.”

He also hoped that you would eat as much of that sandwich as possible. He had sprinkled in just a little something to help you be a bit more compliant with the “romance” he had planned for later that night. He could have relied on it to keep you from being too alarmed at him casting a spell on your belongings, but he couldn’t be sure how much you would ingest. Lox didn’t want to be pushy about you consuming the food either, that would be suspicious.

No, it was better if he just enchanted your things now and then he wouldn’t have to worry about if you had eaten enough magic flake powder that he had given you. And if you did happen to consume enough of it then he could have plenty of fun with you.

The fox-man briefly considered whipping up a love potion, but they were often temporary, wearing off at inconvenient times and requiring reapplication. And he really wanted you to actually be in love with him, not just be under the influence of all consuming magic.

When Lox entered the home it had startled you right off the couch and you fell to the floor. Lox quickly helped you up, relishing the chance to make physical contact with you. He was beyond thrilled to see that the plate your food had been on was now empty.

“Thanks! Sorry, you coming in so suddenly just startled me. You weren’t wrong about how fast you were, I hadn’t expected you back so soon.”

“Told ya I was fast.” He beamed proudly as he handed you your belongings.

Over the course of the next couple of hours the two of you chatted while you taught him a card game with a deck that you always traveled with, but you became fatigued much sooner than you usually did. Surely that was just from all the travel followed by the excitement of earlier though.

Lox offered you use of his bed while you used his couch, but you wouldn’t hear of it. He had already shown you such kindness you weren’t going to just kick him out of his own bed. Finally he relented and just let you use the couch.

Sleep came to you with unusual ease, something that Lox was greatly anticipating. Now you’d be at his mercy and even if you woke up, the mind altering effects of what he had fed you would make sure that you didn’t remember it or if you did you'd think it was only a dream.

Lox lubed you up carefully and slid into your sleeping form which he had tenderly stripped bare. He bred you slowly and lovingly, deep strokes into you so that he could edge and enjoy every possible second of making love with his partner for the first time.

It was difficult, but he managed to restrain his instinct to bite your neck all over and make his claim on you visible to the world. He also held his cock at the base to prevent his knot from slipping in and swelling within you. Lox didn’t want to leave you with any suspicious soreness.

But the hardest thing for the fox man was pulling out and not filling you up full of his seed, especially when your eyes fluttered open and you moaned and babbled incoherently while drooling in pleasure even if your mind couldn’t make sense of anything that was happening.

After that, he came in you quickly and meticulously cleaned you up so that no evidence was left behind.

When you woke up your head was a bit fuzzy, light filtered in through a little circular window and by the angle of the sun it seemed that you had slept all morning. You thought you probably had overstayed your welcome.

You yawned and began to get off the couch when suddenly Lox appeared as if from nowhere with a hot plate of food. Had he been watching and waiting for you to wake up? You didn’t entertain the thought long, you were just being paranoid. He was a fox-man; he clearly had enhanced senses and was just keeping the meal warm for you when you finally got up.

"Quail egg omelet before you leave?"

Lox seemed refreshed and energized, and though you couldn't quite place why something about him gave you just the slight twinge of anxiety in the back of your mind. It was easy to push away though.

"Thanks, you didn't have to make me breakfast. I have rations in my pack"

"Nonsense, you're my guest. And I was making one for myself anyway."

It did smell rather enticing and he had gone through the trouble of cooking it so you relented and ate it happily. It was among the best dishes you had ever eaten. You wondered if he used his magic to enhance it. He had, actually, added his own "special ingredient" to the food he made for you, but it wasn't something magical and you really didn't want to know what it was.

After you finished the meal Lox, true to his word, happily joined you on your trip out of the forest. You tried to insist that you didn’t need him, that the wolves probably went off in search of easier prey, and that you were prepared now, but the fox wasn’t having it.

The trip out of the forest was largely uneventful, filled only with Lox’s chatter and questions focused on you. You supposed most people would have been annoyed by it all, but you knew he didn’t get much company and you were still so touched by the kindness that he had shown you.

Overall it was going well.

Until it wasn't. As you crossed the old, but up until this point, very sturdy bridge, it suddenly collapsed beneath you. With a scream you flailed desperately, luckily Lox was able to reach you, hold onto you, and jump back up the side that you had come from. After you caught your breath and let your nerves settle in silence you looked at the damage. The bridge was beyond repair. It would add a couple hours to your journey to go around to the shallow part of the river, but you certainly couldn't go across here anymore.

"God damn! That was... scary! Thanks for... saving me. Again..."

You were still shaking a bit.

"It's no problem! I thought the bridge was a bit sturdier than that. Good thing I caught you... I guess we'll just have to go back for now..."

"No it's fine, I saw an old map of the area, there's a place I can cross if I follow the river. Will just take a few extra hours."

You looked up at him.

"Don't worry, you don't need to escort me the extra distance."

That was, of course, the exact opposite of what Lox planned. He would be at your side for eternity. Whether you said you wanted him there or not.

"No, no! It's not a bother. Really. I'm usually so bored I just sleep most of the day!"

"Well if it isn't a bother, I'm glad to have a traveling buddy for a bit longer."

The two of you sat down for a couple minutes before resuming your newly extended route out of the forest. It went about as well as it had been going before the incident with the bridge, though Lox kept shooting you nervous looks, like he was holding back from saying something to you. Poor guy, he was probably just sad that the two of you would be parting ways soon. You made a mental note to reassure him when you got to the end of the forest.

This wasn't the end at all, you'd see him a couple times a month if this trading exchange worked out. Maybe even once a week if things got really busy.

The fox hybrid was a bit more distant in conversation, focused more on his thoughts. He had been sure that after he collapsed the bridge with his magic and then saved you from the disaster that you would be head over heels in love with him. Clearly he had shown you he can keep you safe from any peril... even if he had to make the danger himself. At the very least you should have agreed to stay at his home a bit longer so that he could get you to like him more.

Sadly, Lox could not glean any notions of love emanating from you using his magical abilities. But he absolutely couldn't accept that you weren't at least somewhat attracted to him by this point. He had, as far as you were concerned, saved your life twice. Then he had been very amicable and hospitable towards you. You must have been in such strong denial that your true feelings were unknown even to you. But he wasn't going to give up on his beloved, he just knew the two of you were meant to be together. No matter what.

His first priority had to be making sure you never made it out of the forest. If you left and he wasn't with you then you could get hurt. Or maybe someone else would take you! But he didn't want to scare you or tip you off.

As the two of you continued on your way the amorous man couldn't help but stare at you and think of all the things he wanted to do to you. Seeing a lack of claiming bites on you almost sent his instincts into overdrive, he had to actively stop himself from fucking you into the dirt, biting all over you, and having his knot tie the two of you together.

The two of you crossed the river and with each step Lox grew more fidgety as his desire to claim you grew, as did his worry that you may escape him if he didn't think up another plot soon. Then he had a great idea. Quicksand! He'd save you from it and you'd be so frustrated, messy, and grateful that at the very least you'd want to go back to his house for another night to rest and clean up!

Lox used his magic to create a patch of quicksand on the path ahead and used his power of illusion to make sure it looked just like the surrounding terrain until disturbed, just like natural quicksand.

And sure enough it fooled you. With a loud scream you suddenly plummeted through what you had assumed was perfectly solid ground. You fell forward and struggled to orient yourself in the thick muck. Lox grabbed your pack from behind and plucked you easily from the quicksand. You gasped for breath and wiped the mud from your face.

"Holy fuck, I would have drowned if not for you! You're a real lifesaver, Lox."

This time you didn't waste more than a few seconds trying to catch your breath before getting up.

"I guess we should head back to my place, we can get you all cleaned up and try again tomorrow."

"Oh don't worry! We only just passed the river, we can go back and I can rinse off there!"

You started to head towards the water with Lox at your side.

"Are you sure? You must be tired after all the excitement we just had..."

You stopped and looked at Lox. He seemed almost panicked. The gears in your head finally started turning. The dots were connecting.

"Every time something happens you are very quick to suggest we head back... and it's pretty convenient that you are always right there to save me from these sudden disasters..."

"What are you saying?" The fox asked with a surprising darkness.

The question hung unanswered, heavy in the air, as the two of you stared at one another. Then you bolted into the dense foliage. But this was Lox's forest, he had years of experience tracking and keeping eyes on any humans who wandered through it, and he had never been so motivated.

Every time you made a turn Lox would appear in a puff of smoke in front of you, using his magic to teleport short distances. He grabbed you, but you struggled out of his grip.

"I love you babe, but I am getting tired of this little game. Let's go home now okay?"

He used a wave of magic to animated the vines near you, they snared you easily. You wriggled and writhed like a maniac as he slowly approached you with a creepy smile on his face.

"You must be tired after that little chase. You need a nap."

Then he pulled out a pouch of shimmering blue powder from his pocket and blew it over you. You fell asleep instantly.

When you woke up from your fitful sleep full of nightmares and fear in Lox's bed. You had no pants on and a thick sticky fluid leaking from your entrance. You realized those nightmares may not have been dreams at all, and you felt instantly nauseous.

Luckily, he wasn't in the room with you. The sick freak seemed to be in the kitchen, you could hear him humming faintly as he went about cooking. He probably thought he'd bring you a meal in bed and you'd be grateful and everything would be just peachy between the two of you. But you had other plans.

The window was large enough to leave through, you hoped you could do so quietly. You wiped yourself clean as best you could and put the clothing that Lox has removed back on. You raised the window slowly and it didn't make any noise at first, but you came to a point where it was stuck and more force had to be used. It squeaked like it was shrieking out your desire to escape to the four corners of the world.

Since your cover was clearly blown you gave up being quiet and forced it open with all due expediency. You quickly scrambled out the window, falling forward into the dirt. You wasted no time at all in getting up and darting away as fast as you possibly could. But the eyes of the fox were on you from the window, watching you speed further away. He wasn't worried though.

Lox was delusional and arguably even completely insane over you at this point, but he was no idiot. He knew your denial about how you felt over him may still be too strong and you may try to run away. He had taken extra precautions. Precautions you learned of in a  very direct way when you slammed face first and at full force right into some sort of invisible barrier that Lox had erected a good distance around his dwelling.

You fell rather hard on your ass and cupped your face in pain. Then you heard a voice approach behind you.

"Are you okay darling? I didn't intend to hurt your pretty face." He waved a hand and green sparks from his fingertips healed up your injury.

"What the Hell, Lox!? You can't just keep me prisoner like this!"

"You're not a prisoner! You're my partner, and this is just to keep you close by. You're really fragile judging by how you handled all the dangers recently."

You stared at him for a moment, unable to think of a response to this complete lunatic, as he got closer and stared down at you with that freaky smile of his.

"I realize you are used to being really independent, but you really need to admit it already. I am the perfect mate for you. You have to know that deep down."

You started to object, but he sealed your words with a sudden rough kiss. He was deceptively strong, a fact you learned while trying unsuccessfully to push him off of you. He pinned you down on the ground with ease and smirked down at you.

"If showing off how good of a protector I am isn't enough to get rid of your denial, then I will just have to show you how good our union feels~"

Lox ignored your protests. His nails grew sharp and he sliced off your clothing as easily as if he was cutting through paper.

"I'm gonna make you feel soooo good."

He bit possessively at your neck. It hurt slightly but the unpleasantness was overridden by pleasure. For someone who was rarely around humans except to randomly help or hinder an occasional traveler he sure knew how to pleasure you. Then you remembered how he had violated you in your sleep. He had practiced. You redoubled your efforts to get free but the resistance only seemed to excite him more.

Lox's claws returned to being normal nails as he fingered your entrance, despite his increasingly feral state of mind he was still focused on making this as pleasurable as possible for his beloved little human. He used a small bit of magic to create an oil from his fingers to apply a generous amount of lubrication to you.

Shouts, screams, and the tears rolling down your face were all met with calming shushing noises and promises that you'd be moaning soon enough with fear replaced by delight.

His fingers wiggled within you, causing you to buck unwillingly in the throes of carnal stimulation. You gasped and whined at your body's betrayal. Lox pulled out his fingers and held your hips tight while aligning his cock with you and slamming into you with the perfect amount of force.

Your moan was captured by his lips as he kissed you again, biting your lower lip as he pulled away.

"I have wanted my knot in you for so long, you're gonna fit me like a glove~"

All you could manage was to grunt in defiance as you drooled dumbly. Lox began thrusting into you again and again. Each movement of his could only be described as perfection. He rolled his hips and plunged in deeply with slow strokes that steadily increased in pace.

It really didn't take long at all for Lox to feel your body throb around his large prick as you climaxed. If this had been a willing encounter, and if you also had not been fucked silly, you would have been embarrassed by how quickly Lox had made you orgasm.

The fox looked at you in awe, observing every detail of your face as you came. Your flushed face, the rise and fall of your chest as you panted, your eyes glazed and lost in sexual bliss.

"Wow, you finish even faster and more beautifully than you did while sleeping!"

Lox bit at your chest and up to your neck, delivering a harder bite there to mark you as his. You were so out of it that it didn't register in the way that it should have. What little pain there was Lox quickly dispersed with more magical healing and gentle kisses.

He continued pumping into you for well over an hour, eliciting enough moans, whimpers, shakes, and shudders from you until your voice was hoarse and your body limp.

And then, just when you thought you would die from all the overstimulation, Lox painted your walls white with a hot load of cum before his knot swelled and kept the two of you together.

"See? No one else can make you feel like this! And you take me just so well my beloved~"

When his knot finally went down he had to stop himself from diving back into you, the sight of you glistening with sweat and leaking his seed went straight to his cock. But he settled for just slipping it between your thighs and grinding into you while you sat on his lap in the bathtub.

Your comfort was the priority and you clearly needed special care after that mind shattering sex.

When you were all cleaned up, he carried you bridal style to his bed and bundled you up in soft blankets, he pressed a loving kiss to your cheek before going off to get you some food and water. Maybe something easy to get down. Perhaps some soup? Since you were still pretty dazed he wondered if you would let him feed you.

You were such a sweet fragile thing and would need to recover your energy for all the activities he had planned for the two of you.

[alwayscorvus]

Forced Marriage

Forced Marriage

Jing Yuan x male reader, fluff;

This day has finally come. Day when you and Jing Yuan were going to get married and fulfill your parents' promise.

Several years had passed since signing the agreement as children. Your parents long gone from this world. You both have earned a good name for yourselves. But despite the huge period of time and all your achievements, you have forgotten about one and most important thing. Or you may have actually done it on purpose. You haven't built a bond expected for future partners. You haven't gotten to know each other. You haven't even met. Not counting a few important occasions, banquets or incidents, at which you never exchanged more than two sentences. You knew your current appearance only from paintings.

But now it was all about to change.

You adjusted the collar of your white shirt in the mirror and sent your reflection a hesitant glance.

Suddenly you heard a creak of an opening door. You turned rapidly and your eyes caught a glimpse of a figure of the man that you were supposed to marry in next few hours.

You swallowed a lump in your throat. Weirdly terrified. A feeling once completely unfamiliar to you.

You kept watching as Jing Yuan made his way down the grand, snowy white, marble staircase, positioned in the center of the room. He was moving with incredible elegance. His hips gently swayed from side to side in the rhythm of lions' tails that confidently hunted his prey.

Right behind your fiancé his butler followed. His movements were much more clumsy, struggling to keep up with his master.

-It's a honor.

Said Jing Yuan, bowing low as he finally managed to reach you.

-My pleasure.

You answered with a fake confidence. You weren't sure what to do with yourself. Should you shake his hand? Give him a hug? Confess for how long you had been looking forward to this meeting? After all, you were going to spend the rest of your lives together. Completely inseparable.

Jing Yuan, however, seemed cold and reserved. Completely different from the descriptions. Although his face didn't show much, man didn't fail to send you an unfriendly glance.

You rubbed your sweaty palms against the sides of your suit pants. You really can't remember the last time you were so nervous. Have you ever been this way? Even when handling the biggest contracts on which your family's good name depended, you weren't this worried. Today, however, was very different. As well as the entire last week for which you couldn't sleep.

-Misses Xiǎo Huì probably warned you that it's not gonna be anything big. Everyone will find out about our new status eventually, but I don't want to make a ceremony that shakes whole Xianzhou Luofu. I prefer to let this matter pass as quietly as possible. We came to the conclusion that my marriage... precisely this marriage, may not have the best impact on my position as Charioteer.

Ah, of course. Over those past years since Jing Yuan was a small child, he was able to completely turn around his family's luck and become a Charioteer. He chose a path completely different from his origins.

While you were enriching and expanding a company passed down from generation to generation, he was starting from an absolute scratch. Literally. Because at the time all his family had to offer were debts.

Although you admired his achievements and hard work, you probably would have preferred if he had remained as an ordinary, average Jing Yuan. Or at least if he hadn't been in charge of all citizens… That would have been much more simpler…

Ceremony passed quickly. Too quickly. Whole concept was so abstract to you that you weren't even able to recall whole time spent on all activities. At first you didn't want to interfere in the course of your wedding. You thought that you would let Jing Yuan take the lead and carry it out in any way he wished. However now, you regretted that deeply.

Before you knew it, you got your blessings from all the important figures in Xianzhou Luofu and beyond. While your hands grabbed brushes and signed all needed paperwork.

In the end, inspired by a foreign tradition, you exchanged rings. You needed something that at first glance symbolized and proved your relationship.

However, your movements were completely automatic and not tainted by any feeling. Deep in your soul you laughed bitterly at this.

-This is our shared bedroom - he announced, pointing at the room with a gentle nod.

You looked around in astonishment.

Huge, shadowed bedroom, without any natural light source. Only with candles alone. Candles that emitted a cozy warmth. In theory.

Major attention was focused on a large canopy bed placed in the center. Covered with thick layers of duvets in plum and burgundy colors. Whole place almost screamed with splendor. And was definitely different from a traditional bedroom in these regions. It was most likely a former guest room for high-ranked foreign heads, who felt uncomfortable in an unfamiliar environment.

And this suggested that Jing Yuan didn't want to sacrifice his private bedroom for your shared abode.

-Of course, only for now. Until public interest dies down. If something were to leak outside the gates of this building, we would probably prefer for it to not be an unfavourable gossip, right? -he asked almost cockily- I think that in a few months… Maybe a year or two. We will be able to split up and go our separate ways. I'll take one wing and you will take the other. We'll pretend that it's more convenient for our work. Although… I don't think we'll have to pretend.

You were stunned.

So this is how your marriage was supposed to look like…

-But isn't that better? I mean... you know, you don't even swing that way.

You had just finished venting about your worries over a bottle of soju, when your friend decided to bring you back to reality.

You looked at him dumbfounded. But still, you let him continue. Especially after he poured you another glass.

-Since he is not really interested and calls it just a deal, you can treat it like that too. Say that in the eyes of the public you will play a perfect, compatible marriage couple, and in your own four walls you will lead separate lives. You will find yourself some nice chick, flatter her a little bit and-

You growled in disappointment.

-First of all: fact that Jing Yuan is a man is actually the least of my problems. Secondly, I'm not a cheater. Even if for him it's just an arrangement, for me it's still a certified marriage signed by two fully aware people. Even if nothing happens between us I'm not planning to find anyone else.

Your friend just waved his hand at this and ordered another two bottles of drink from a passing by waitress.

-Do you want something more to eat? - he looked at you with expectation. You merely nodded. You didn't care about the food. You wanted to get back to looking for a solution to your problem as soon as possible - In that case I'll ask for another set of what we had before and maybe some more pork this time. Okay, cutie?

He gave a waitress a charming smile, and she, wholly covered in blush, curtsied and quickly ran off towards the kitchen. At the same time, you kept your focus on the slowly cooling grill that decorated the center of a table.

-Ahhh-… cause you always choose the path of this hopeless romantic. And where did that get you? -he pointed at you with disapproval- Look where you are now.

Your head collapsed on your hands, that were laying on the table. You started doubting the point of this meeting.

-Better tell me what to do to "get out of this place".

-I mean- you can wait, be patient. You can play the perfect and understanding partner, hoping that Jing Yuan will one day reciprocate your feelings. But that may take years, or worse, never even happen. And you-… just look at yourself. You are helpless. Lets be honest, you aren't patient. Or at least not anymore in that case. Especially after so many years of waiting. So we need to try a different approach.

-But what kind of?

-Well… -man smiled menacingly- Time for a shock therapy.

"If you are legalny his husband and if you want to be his husband just act as his husband. In the end he doesn't really care."

You weren't sure if this was the best advice you'd ever heard, but you still decided to get swept away.

Which led you to this very moment.

-I promise, I'm gonna be gentle.

Jing Yuan looked at you with suspicion.

-It's not like I'm gonna do anything bad to you - you said slightly devastated- We are partners, remember?

Jing Yuan only furrowed his eyebrows more. He crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his weight from leg to leg. Behind his back you could almost see an imaginary lion's tail that dangerously wagged in rhythm of Jing Yuan's excessive stomping. It wasn't hard to see that your husband was now seriously considering all the pros and cons. When you waited like on tenterhooks, clenching your thumbs tightly.

-Alright.

He decided dryly and without a long delay sat down on the edge of your shared bed. Probably out of all ideas and demands that you could come up with, this one was not the worst and relatively harmless.

Not wanting to miss the opportunity, you took a seat right behind his back in the blink of an eye.

With shaking hands you grabbed the ribbon that kept his hair tied. You pulled on it gently. Ribbon untied itself smoothly and slipped onto a duvet, without much resistance. Hair, that had been pinned up for whole this time, gracefully spilled on all sides. Thrilled with admiration, you began to gently caress them. In touch they resembled a most expensive silk. They were so delicate that they were just slipping through your hands. You dipped deeper into the snow-white ocean, feeling so pleasant that you wished for it to never stop.

-Do you ever plan to start? -he asked without much patience.

Startled, you almost jumped up. You completely lost yourself in the pleasure, forgetting what you were actually supposed to do.

You grabbed a comb and separated a small part of Jing Yuan's hair.

-How many braids will be fine?

-Do as you wish.

He waved his hand as if shooing away an annoying bug. Jing Yuan probably wasn't aware of your capabilities and had already put himself in a losing position for today. You cheered deeply at that. Since you didn't get a limit you won't restrict yourself either. You will prolong the moment as much as possible.

As you brushed his hair, you also gently massaged his head, which apparently must have appealed to him. Because after a few minutes he forgot to hold back and kept bringing his head closer towards your hand, whenever it moved just a little bit away.

Maybe your ears were playing tricks on you, but you could have swear that in every few minutes you heard a quiet cat's purr.

But you didn't even dare to bring up this subject.

-Huì Fēn?

Jing Yuan's butler paused his hand on a doorknob and turned towards you surprised.

-May I have a question for you?

Trying to relax and focus your attention on something else you began to blindly sort through the papers that were lying on your desk.

-Of course, Sir. How can I help you?

He quickly straightened himself and clasped his hands behind his back.

-It's about Jing Yuan.

Butler's face instantly turned pale.

-I know you have been by his side for many years, you met while you were still in the army… He can always count on your and he has a great trust in you. He has surely entrusted you with more than one secret…

-What do you want to imply by this, Sir? -eventually, he was unable to endure your words. Although his voice was still flawlessly calm.

-Does-… does Jing Yuan have someone? Or-… had someone?

Butler looked at you slightly stunned.

-I can swear that if it's true I won't do any harm to any of them. I just-… I just want to know…

You threw your hands and slightly depressed, sank onto a wooden furniture. You knew that Huì Fēn was not on your side. That he could have told you anything. And lie without hesitation. Anything to avoid harming his rightful Master. And moreover, to help him as much as possible.

But slowly you were beginning to feel exhausted. Long weeks started to pass since your wedding.

Huì Fēn smiled at you with pity.

-If it's about that, I can certainly assure you that you don't need to worry, Sir. Master Jing Yuan has never opened his heart to anyone. And that's what may be your biggest problem, Sir…

Your friend was right. After all, you weren't into men.

Sure, because of a contract made by your parents, you never got yourself into a relationship with anyone. But if you were to hang your eyes on someone in the past, before meeting Jing Yuan, it were always the females. You never imagined yourself with a man before, but you understood that it was bound to happen. And the fact that this someone was your spouse made this act seem neither so distant nor so unpleasant. Slowly, you even began to convince yourself to it. And you weren't doing it against your will. Jing Yuan was actually starting to attract you, despite his flaws, despite his cold attitude towards your relationship. Your feelings were above such a mere things as gender.

You turned from side to side. You really couldn't fall asleep. At first, Jing Yuan stayed up late studying papers and defense plans spread all over the bed. Which actually was your fault, since you insisted on him not doing this in his office but beside you. And after, when he finally decided to go to sleep, your started to overthink.

You almost wanted to growl out of frustration.

However, time to put the next stage of your plan into action has come.

Recent events didn't really bring Jing Yuan close to you, even when there were a lot of them, especially at shared meals.

But you won't give up so easily.

Somewhat timidly you began to move towards your partner. Slowly testing the waters. At first it seemed that you would succeed without any difficulties. At the end, however, things took a different turn.

-Despite so many layers of sheets, you are going to pretend that you got cold?

His clear voice pierced through the entire bedroom and echoed in a silent night. Yet Jing Yuan didn't even budge by millimeter. He also didn't turn to face you.

-So that's why there are so many of them? You wanted to separate yourself from me by them?

Jing Yuan didn't respond to that.

Seeing no objection, you gently lifted your left hand and put it on the sheets where his waist was. Successfully moving a couple inches closer and snuggling your chest into his back.

-You're really hoping that I'll get used to your presence and that's how you'll make me fall in love with you?

He worked you out. And at the same time he was so calm.

-So you give in to the possibility of falling in love with me?

Jing Yuan didn't say anything more. Nor did he push off your hand or move away.

That's not the end of the story…

I will write a sequel someday, but for the time being I don't have a slightest idea when it will happen. So it may take a long time...

[runabout-river]

Yuji's accumulated Trauma

After Choso's death, I've been thinking about Yuji's reaction to it. At first glance, it looks mature and composed and obviously Yuji doesn't have the time and privilege to grieve. More importantly, Gege didn't give Yuji any panel time to be distraught; his aniki's death scene was over pretty fast. The 3000 Shibuya deaths in conjunction with Nanami's and Nobara's deaths on the other hand had been given more time and more impact afterwards.

The difference in reaction between those two times makes sense in context but, in my opinion, not with Yuji being mature and composed about it.

Because Yuji never got over Nanami's and Nobara's death, he didn't heal from that, instead, he had a negative character arc where the trauma of their deaths affected his world view and mentality in significantly bad ways.

He started to think of himself as a cog in a machine and he also identified with Mahito, the curse who killed both his friend and his mentor figure, a villain and his personal antagonist. Yuji did not overcome Mahito in Shibuya, the story makes us forget that often times. He was marked and changed by Mahito and even though that curse ended up with an extremely pathetic death that didn't mean that he hadn't broken something inside Yuji.

The only time where Yuji constructively dealt with that trauma was in his fight against Higuruma but that was only about his guilt over letting Sukuna kill 3000 people with his body. And it didn't get resolved completely, at least not in a way that would've helped with dealing with Nobara's and Nanaimi's death too.

Yuji is taking that trauma from Shibuya, his feelings of weakness and guilt, and he puts them into believing himself to be a machine that has to follow a predetermined path. Before Sukuna took over Megumi, that meant being suicidal when the situation called for it. Yuji wanted his life to make sense again and dying so Angel would've her wish of seeing Sukuna dead to save Gojo perfectly fit into that.

After Sukuna possessed Megumi, his path and role stayed the same except killing himself directly was off the table but that tendency still exists inside of him. If he were to be presented a way to defeat Sukuna while saving Megumi at the same time where he would die as a result he would take that path immedietaly without hesitation.

Back to Choso's death. In my view, this unresolved trauma and his lack of will to live lead to an unhealthy coping mechanism: thinking of his friends and allies as already dead. We can see that when he asked Megumi if Nobara had survived Shibuya.

He knew that there was a slim chance she survived but it was so low that she was basically dead. When Megumi confirmed her fate, Yuji was prepared for it. Prepared to receive the bad news so instead of crying again he could function like the cog he was supposed to be.

And this Mahito-infused cog mentality still follows him until now. He has to function so his role can be fullfilled and when that means he has to think of his friends as having already been killed so he would never break again then that's what he's going to do.

He did not despair over Choso's death, he despaired because it looked like he was alone and on the verge of defeat against Sukuna. His role was breaking just like his reason to live and I think that this mentality, his negative character arc, will find it's conclusion at the end of the Sukuna fight.

This fight is not the end of the manga, we still have the merger to deal with, there is still a big arc with smaller ones in between coming at us. But for Yuji something big has to happen, probably something pretty bad that has him crushed... at first.

At the end of it, he will finally deal with all his loss and his trauma in a good and healthy way and leave his life as a cog and being a human Mahito behind. Then he might finally shed the tears that were missing in chapter 259.

[lover-of-mine]

Hi, I put this anonymous so it would let me ask from my 911 account instead of my main account. I wanted to ask a question about your yellow and blue color code post.

"They're also in the wrong colors during the will reveal, which is interesting if they follow through it this particular symbolism the way I'm expecting them to."

Do you think the colors are wrong or connected in any way with the original intention of bringing both Eddie and Buck out of the closet post 4.13 and 4.14? Further, do you think that they also originally intended Eddie to come out first in season 7 may have played a role in the wrong colors?

Asking from @justchillandshipit

link to the meta in question

Hi, darling! Yes for the first one, not exactly for the second one. They have been playing with Buck and Eddie and blue and yellow in the background since under pressure, so the will reveal is deliberately blue and yellow and I believe it is because of the romantic connotations surrounding the aborted love confession that conversation is.

I was actually thinking about making a post about this, so thank you, because during the will reveal Buck is in a yellow that's close to the shade I expect Eddie to reach. They are basically the same color.

That's not true for the blue, but I believe that the choice to make Buck's blue closer to the color of Oliver's eyes to make that particular shot as harmonic as it is affected the shade and made it a bit more teal than expected, because it is close to the blue Buck is wearing during 706, that is the second part of Buck's coming out.

So I believe they are intentionally switched during the will reveal, because while that is a major movement, it's not the climax of the situation, is the setup. They aren't really saying what they need to get together. So I think the plan has always been Buck as blue and Eddie as yellow.

I also think that because Buck in general is a lot more blue than Eddie, so the color feels a lot more natural on Buck than it does on Eddie. There's also the way that they use that burnt yellow color with Buck. Especially the therapy connotations, I feel like it was supposed to be used as a discovery color, but not as the destination color, so Buck would reach the blue anyway, just through a different route.

And if we consider the locker room scene as something that stayed the way they intended when the plan was for Eddie to come out first, they could've made Buck yellow anyway, because the way they used the sun on Eddie could've easily been done with Buck, and he's already yellow in this context, they could've just kept building on it. They decided against it, and I think it's because that was never something they wanted to go that way.

But actually my major proof here, is actually the couch theory dinner in 601. Because assuming a bunch of things, including that they knew s6 was gonna be their last season with fox, and that they were gonna try and force fox to let them get them together before the show ended and they changed plans once abc bought the show and gave them the space to do it with the full glory, I feel like Buck's blueish grey and Eddie's yellowish cream are on purpose and the base of the beginning of the color theory with them, especially because all signs of the couch pointed to Eddie.

I feel like if they were allowed to do what they wanted with s6 with the threat of cancelation but without someone on fox telling them they couldn't, buddie would move to the brighter color together, since there would be no time for them to do two separate queer arcs. In this world, the lighting actually triggers something, and they get together during the s6 finale, which would be the series finale, bringing the conclusion to this conversation during the closing arc.

But the switch to abc allowed them to expand on that more, and now we are here. I think the colors are supposed to be switched while they are on the wrong path, and that was always the plan.

taglist (interact with this post if you wanna be tagged, or send me a message, just let me know):

@sparkedblaze @hermioneindisguise @eddiedisasterdiaz @mosaicstardust @stagefoureddiediaz @kejfeblintz @glasscities @angelcamael @sparkedblaze @caw-salem @dreamofsomepiphany @100ceruleaneyes @linus-lucy @chaosqueery @gina-spike @chimchiminie98 @elvensorceress @dangerpronebuddie @ijustdontlikepeople @182daysof @steadfastsaturnsrings @sparklespiff @inell @joshwritesfics @lunarsolar1 @dingdongfries @wolfdeans @jesuisici33 @miles--to--go @hopefuldreamers-world

[meowmeowraven]

Everybody needs a magical star in their life! ✨

HSR characters x Glitter Clover! NB! Reader

Part 1!

Featured characters: Himeko, March 7th, Stelle, Caelus, Herta, Dan Heng, Welt Yang.

Notes: I tried 😔

Himeko:

Okay, honestly, if it were from my point of view, Himeko would find you so adorable due to your bubbly, yet calm personality

When she first took you in, on the express, she didn't know you were a Glitter Warrior, but when she found out, she was visibly shocked (she was a bit worried for your safety but you reassured her that you'll be fine!)

She was really curious about how you could transform, how you became so strong.

"Wait, but how does this all work?" Himeko speaks while carefully inspecting you. "Well, it's all magic from my Glitter charm and Glitter pad!"

"Ohh, so that's the source of your power?" You hand her your Glitter pad as she then takes it and inspects it, then hands it back to you.

March 7th

Ohoho you're in for a bigger surprise when March finds out you're a Glitter Warrior.

Her eyes literally sparkle with excitment, i mean like, you follow the path of preservation aswell?? You ALSO like sparkles and glitter? It's like you're made for eachother!

She is so eager to know more about your powers.

"[Name]? Is that actually you?" March quickly runs towards you after you helped her fight a Void ranger, placing her hands on your shoulder, inspecting you, surprised and eager. "In flesh and bone!" Her eyes sparkle "woahh you look so cool and-and pretty! I mean you already are pretty!" You just let out a chuckle at her statements.

In conclusion, you both are made for eachother, either romantically either as bestfriends. (She's the head of trouble and you just help her! <3)

Stelle

Stelle wasn't really surpirsed, she knew something was up with you, especially after she saw you talk with your "plushie" (ifykyk what i mean).

She liked the idea of you two being a team, even as strong as you are, with your shields she still liked protecting you.

"Stelle! Watch out!" Stelle looks behind her as a reaver is ready to strike her, but you were quick to act. "Insert Glitter charm! Clover Reflection!" You manage to ward off the blow with your clover-shaped shield. Stelle quickly takes down the reaver, thanking you in the process. "Thanks for helping me there, [Name]." You look at her with a confused expression, "you're not surprised?" "Honestly i knew something was different about you"

Deep inside she was actually surprised at your strength.

Caelus

Ah, yes Caelus, the same as Stelle, unsurprised, he already knew about your little secret, but dw he won't tell anyone. <3

Unlike him, you didn't like digging through trash, so you were visibly horrified seeing him dig through trash.

Even if you were visibly disturbed by it, you remained calm. Grabbing him by the hood of his jacket.

Caelus was digging through trash, as usual, but it was the first time you saw him do it. "CAELUS!" He then redirects his attention to you, replying unfazed of the situation. "Yeah?" "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? DO YOU KNOW HOW UNSANITARY IT IS?!" you quickly grab him by his hood and pull him away. "Wait- Hey!" He knew you were a Glitter Warrior but he wasn't expecting you to be this strong. He had to blackmail you into letting him continue his "treasure" hunt. "If you don't let me go, i'll tell everybody about your little secret." You tried playing dumb, but it didn't work so you ended up letting him go.

He's a bit of a prick but it's okay, cuz it's Caelus. <3

Herta

You're her new favourite "testing subject", she wouldn't actually try to hurt you. <3

She's gonna keep pestering you about it all! She really wants to know if your Glitter pad and charm are curios or if they're relics. She wants to know how you got them, who gave them to you or where you found them.

"sooo, [Name], how did you get those curio-relics?" Herta asks you on a curios yet mischiveous tone. "Madam Herta, you know i can't tell you." You keep walking towards your destination, as Herta wraps her puppet hand around your wrist trying to stop you. "Oh, cmon, can't you even give me a hint?" You sigh, knowing that there was no escape from her. "No, no i can't." Herta rolls her eyes annoyed that you wouldn't tell her. "Ugh, can you at least come test the Simulated Universe once more?"

Dan Heng

Even tho, Dan Heng doesn't seem surprised, he is very shocked deep inside, trying his best not to show that.

Now, he tries his best not to let March know, she knows how to get anything out of him, no matter what it is.

"[Name]?" You heard that same monotone voice, from behind you. You were transformed. And he caught you, on the luofu, you were helping some cloud knights with two mara-struck. "O-oh! Hey Dan Heng!" Dan Heng walks over to you. "So, you're not what you say you are," you looked away a bit ashamed for holding such a secret away from your bestfriend/ s/o. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." He places a hand on your shoulder reassuringly.

Welt Yang

Oh boy, Welt never really expected this from you, since you're usually calm. But he never knew how angry you could get..

When a halfway infected mara-struck called Welt an old man and refused his help, you couldn't hold back your rage and anger, you ended up beating the mara-struck into a fetal position, Welt had to yank you off of 'em..

"i don't need your help, you old man." The mara-struck spoke on a hateful tone. "I-" you then cut off Welt, "How dare you be so rude to Mr. Yang? He is trying to help you and you just refuse it and insult him?!" Walking towards the mara-struck, cracking your knuckles, a few minutes later, you were kicking the poor mara-struck until it was crying on the ground, curled up in a ball. Welt then wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you and dragging you away from the mara-struck.

[richea]

I've been thinking a lot lately about the concept of "paths" in Symphonia and how it impacts each of the characters, so I wanted to talk about this a little bit. It's such a big theme of the game and it's pretty interesting just how much the narrative hinges on it, with Mithos' final line talking about how he would never sway from his.

Leaving this under the cut because it's long.

Lloyd: His path is something that he carves with his heart and resolve. It is resolute but not to the point where he would make sacrifices to reach his destination. Essentially, he sets a destination but is willing to take detours if the situation calls for it. When there's a split in the road and when he must make a choice, he will forge a new path if he doesn't like either option. The path he paves can be a form of salvation to those who are lost and cannot find their own.

Colette: Colette's path was set in stone from the minute she was born. It is something unavoidable. Even should she lose herself, she must take each and every painful step down it. While it's a beacon of hope to others, it is one many would turn around and run away from at any cost, should they know what lies at the end of it. It is stained in the blood of those passed but at the end of it, Colette hopes to find peace.

Genis: There are many branching paths on his road. Some lead to Mithos and some lead to Lloyd. Perhaps in a different world, he would have his own, drowned in tears and loneliness, spiraling in various uncontrolled directions, but thankfully, the beacon known as Lloyd's helps prove he's going in the right direction.

Raine: Of everyone in the game I would argue Raine has the most agency in her own path. Of course her mother placed her on the road she walks, but from there, Raine paved her own way. She takes guidance when necessary, but ultimately she trusts herself enough to do what she believes is right with the things that she has learned. Rather, she has to be the one to carve her own path. Not only is she doing so for herself, but for her brother too. For all of the people who trust her. She is a role model, but not without her own struggles.

Sheena: This path has many branching points but there are pressures that set her down in certain directions. It's one not unlike Lloyd's, though the expectations placed on her decisions are far greater. When it comes down to it, no matter how resolute she may feel, she never fears running down a different path if the situation calls for it. If her emotions are screaming to her that "this isn't right". Perhaps some may call her a coward, but is there any such thing as a wrong walk of life?

Zelos: What Zelos wants is change. He is being pulled in different directions. He cannot decide whether to go with his gut, or to listen to his friends, or to follow his fate. That is not an easy choice to make. All he knows is he wants change. He wants to break the status quo no matter what, and if that means going down the dark path, so be it. But, like Sheena, is there any such thing as a wrong path to take. No matter which road he goes down, there are people who are going to resent him. That is the price he must pay for being alive. Or so he believes.

Presea: This path started with many, many branches, but tapered into one, stagnant, incredibly dull route. There were no other options for her but to keep pressing down it in hopes that eventually, maybe, there would be something at the end. It was not due to her resolve, but rather a lack of direction. A lack of agency. If you don't like the path life hands you, why not find a new one? This was an ability that had been robbed from her. Cold, steel gates were put up around the path, after all. However, perhaps at some point, she would―with her excellent strength and crafting skills―forge a new one for herself after coming to her own conclusion of where it should lead to next.

Regal: Like Presea, this path had many options at the start, but Regal himself put up a wall to block it off. Why would he do this? Surely there is no need to? It was because he wanted to trap himself within the path he had already taken. Should he press forward would mean presenting himself with new options, and new opportunities to forget. He wanted the blood behind him to seep into his very skin. He wanted it to always be in sight. He did not feel he deserved to press down the path further out of risk of losing sight of it.

Kratos: Kratos has no path. He lives in an aimless existence, only looking to tread down the paths others have long paved. Like Genis, he looks to Mithos and Lloyd's as beacons. However, unlike Genis there was a time where the only path he knew of was Mithos', despite the horrors that he could see strung along it. There was a brief period of time where he discovered Anna's, but it unfortunately reached a dead end. Where else could he go, but of the place he had known prior? Where could a man with no path of his own belong if not to the one he knew of horrors?

Yuan: It feels as if he's reached a point in his life where he rejects the idea of having a path at all. He's almost going through the motions. Rather, he's trying to roadblock off other paths. His own does not lead to anything that personally benefits him but he does not care. He believes he's lived for too long. If anything, he wishes he could go back and take a different path than the one he did. To start over. To not abandon Mithos in his time of need. However those are merely pointless thought exercises at this state. The road he is on is firm and there is no deviating from it. He will get his hands dirty in whatever means necessary to reach the end of it.

Mithos: His path is resolute. It is blood stained. If you look back, you may squint and see some flowers budding around it, but looking forward all you can see is a heap of bodies. Despite this, he stomps down the path, fist clenched in his hand. If there are any branching points, he kicks over them with dirt. While it is adjacent to Lloyd's the two will never touch. There is a fork that extends in its direction, but nothing will make him waver enough to tread it.

[maddragonfruit]

Please, please talk about your Sanders Sides swap au! 🤍

Yay! Thank you for this ask!

So the basic premise is that it goes in the direction of sanders sides, just with the sides having (sorta?) swapped jobs, or personalities, or both.

Should I write this out it would start at season one and follow the same sort of storyline, with modified episodes and such but I feel like season two would be harder to write than season one.

Logan, Patton and Roman are still considered Thomas's main sides the first time they're introduced and they are introduced in episode one.

Logan is such an unserious guy, he is supposed to be Thomas's logic and he does retain all of Thomas's knowledge, he just really doesn't care. He'll shout out random things or randomly go off on stupid tangents just cause he can and he enjoys being an annoying nuisance. He uses one brainrot word per sentence and enjoys watching everyone cringe at them. A little like Remus in the "does random things cause they can" way.

Patton is still Thomas's morality and such, but he's not really Thomas's emotions anymore? If that makes sense? He does care for the people around him and they are aware of that. But if Thomas is feeling something, Patton is not at all required to feel it too, and while this isn't intentional on Patton's part, it can cause him to come off as more unsympathetic while trying to push Thomas to do what he considers the right thing, and he's more likely to berate Thomas for thinking or doing something he considers wrong, instead of gently talking to him or flat out denying it like original Patton can do.

Roman is Thomas's creative block, he prevents Thomas from coming up with ideas and should Thomas come up with an idea, he'll immediately try to think of things to shut it down. He's quite a disheveled and woefully prideful guy, and he's really not respected by anyone. He's quite a bit of an arsehole to be honest, though most of it's deflection and insecurity.

All three of these guys generally aren't too nice to Thomas, or very helpful either, when they're first introduced at least.

So enter Virgil, who's a bit like damage control? He's there to remind Thomas that most things have a positive outcome, and to not listen to the other three. None of the sides are exactly nice to him in season one, but they all just assume he either doesn't notice or doesn't care. He can be a bit ditzy and forgetful but he's generally quite successful in his endeavors to not let the other three bring Thomas down completely. The thing is, he's not a silver lining guy, he's all for reminding Thomas how good the outcome has the chance of being, but as soon as it's a not-great outcome? He's really bad at dealing with it.

So season one would follow a similar premise to the actual season one, except instead of Anxiety being rude and everyone else combating that, it's swapped were Virgil (Or whatever aspect of Thomas's personality I can come up with to call him before he reveals his name) will tell Thomas to think of the best possible outcomes and the other three will drag him down a bit, coming to similar conclusions as the actual episode in the canon timeline, just taking a different path to get there.

Season two is a bit more complicated because of how the episodes are and it's harder to swap the episodes with the new personalities though I do have quite a few ideas! I think I'll make a different post or reblog this one if I talk about Janus or Remus cause this is getting long.

Thank you so much for this ask cause I've been wanting to ramble about my AU for such a long time!

[rey-0f-sunshine]

If Mihaly were to become a villain how do see it happening?

OMG I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ASKED THIS

Alright I'm gonna try and keep this short(ish) since I plan on doing a video about this in the future, but I'll sum up my thoughts on the way I see this being pulled off

I really want to play up the parallel between Night Swan and Mihaly (especially with In Your Eyes now), but I also want it to play into the guilt that Mihaly would probably have knowing they'd corrupted themself in Swan Lake- they'd believe they caused all the pain and suffering people went through because they weren't able to overcome their own emotions in that moment

Eventually, I imagine they'd spiral a bit and somehow land at the conclusion that: maybe Night Swan was right; being imperfect is true suffering- they've experienced it themself: if they had been perfect in Swan Lake, they wouldn't have failed their friends- and they need to save everyone from that very suffering by basically just becoming Night Swan again, hence the "just follow my path" part of her tweets

I'd imagine they would be a lot more unhinged than Night Swan, especially if their reach is limited by the portals Night Swan had previously set up in Eternyx, considering they can't make their own, but the main difference is that they believe they're doing the world a favor by making sure everyone is perfect, which will lead to no more suffering (or something along those lines at least)

I'd also REALLY want to lean into the themes of perfection vs. fun that the story modes have shown so far with Night Swan and Sara and really hammer home the idea that it's not perfection that causes happiness, it's the opposite, and that's something they'd have to learn. That learning aspect would also play into the crux of their character, being that they're still learning in a lot of ways, which would now include that they need to learn that this isn't the way to go about coping with this kind of guilt because at the point where they'd need to be stopped, they'd be pretty far gone I imagine

Not only that, but they'd need to learn that Swan Lake wasn't their fault, and that no one really is "perfect". A huge lesson of this story would probably be that you need to learn to live with your mistakes- not, you know, become the second coming of Night Swan- as they help you grow as a person, which ties nicely into the whole "perfection vs. fun thing" and it's a good lesson for an E for Everyone game since kids would play it

They would also be redeemed at the end, I don't want them to not get redeemed- it would realistically be a rough recovery process, but I'd want them to get a second chance since in a way it was still Night Swan kind of messing with their idea of "suffering" (and no, I don't want Night Swan to be redeemed- that's why I'm mentioning this lol, but that's a yap for another time)

Realistically, this would definitely be a lot more nuanced if it was real, and whenever this video comes out, I want to go way more into detail but this is as basic as I could get while still wanting to get ALL my thoughts out :/

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Everyone's Fate Is Up To The Saints, Except Hers - Tolya Yul-Bataar

Prompt: “If you wish to keep your fingers, I’d take your hands off her.”

Warnings: Canon Compliant Threat

This is really just a drabble but what can ya do.

Not proofread because "no beta we die like men"

Had anyone asked, Tolya would have made it very clear that he 'never doubted her for a moment', that 'her capability was easily beyond that of the task at hand' and he knew, given the opportunity, 'she would've likely taken it on alone'. But Sturmhond, in a brief moment of clear insight, had drawn the conclusion that Tolya would have been very little help carrying out his duties if his mind had been following someone out on the mission. Waiting, wondering and worrying were three things not very conducive with carrying out duties to their requirement. So Sturmhond sent the both of them. No one questioned him, everyone else because he is the captain, but Tamar because she held the same knowledge that Sturmhond had based his call on: her twin for all his openness and cheer, was not letting on quite how deep the river of his care flowed when it came to one particular crewmate.

The she in question, had picked up a pace while Tolya had been somewhat lost in his thoughts.

"Falling behind there sesh?" You ask, turning around with a wicked grin, continuing to walk in the direction you both were headed, but now watching Tolya instead of the path. Walking backwards was something you had gotten very good at with the years of sword training, if you lean to step back with balance enough times, learning to follow the pattern is easy. Yet now, it was certainly more to show off than for practical use.

"You're still not using that correctly," Tolya smiled, an abundance of laughter in his voice. His shadow was being cast by a far off light and the distance made the silhouette looking deceivingly small, compared to the reality. Tolya was just as tall as he was handsome, which is to say more so than anyone really hard the right to be.

"Well if you gave in and told me the word I am looking for," you tease, the sentence hung in the air, feeling unfinished and incomplete. But the years have taught Tolya that sometimes you spoke in half, and it was up to the one hearing the words to decide if it was their turn.

"I will not teach you words in Shu just so you can mock me," he means the words he is saying but his tone is far from mean.

"I'm not mocking you," you defend. "I'm attempting to describe you."

"Describe me in your own language," he pulls his graze away, hoping that maybe if he stops staring, you might start looking where you're going, but to no avail.

"So you'll read me poetry in a language I do not know, but you shall not teach it to me?"

"Not when I know your interest lies in different intent, if you wish to understand the poem I'll happily explain it-" he is suddenly silence by a quiet and quick whistle, a signal that stops him in his tracks.

You look on edge, looking around the dim lit street with such concentration and apprehension that Tolya notices how small it makes you look, the fear. He isn't used to seeing you look afraid.

"Sorry," you say pulling yourself back in, raning it back and composing yourself. "I didn't mean to interrupt you when it's about poetry."

"I don't take it personally," he says. "You know Tamar well enough."

"Exactly, I try to let you talk about it as much as possible when there is no one to tell you to stop," the comment is offhand and absentminded, you hadn't meant much by it. It was a truth, and you did not choose to shy from the truth often, but it wasn't something you had meant to declare in any kind of way. Yet the look in Tolya's eyes makes you run the words back, trying to find the secret of the universe, the strangely powerful compliment that had to be hidden in the words you'd spoken without a second thought.

"Thank you," he says, his voice so soft, it hits like whisper.

"There's no need, there are few ways to show someone how you matter to them, and this is mine," if you had to break it down, the moments before, the reasons that this moment unfolds, you could lay out each factor in pieces. The light being so low. The quietness being so rare that sound is a welcome visitor and therefore can lull into a false sense of security. Maybe even your own foolishness, having not turned around despite your previous scare. But if you were honest with yourself, truly honest, it was not your ego or your environment that betrayed you in this small moment. It was your heart. Had you not been searching for something tangible in the unspoken distance between the two of you, there was no way someone could have gotten close enough to place a blade into the small of your back before you reached for your weapon.

"I wouldn't try it," the blade is pushed closer as you move for the weapon, the voice is dark and quiet, but the accent isn't from around here, and there's a gruffness that shows the man's age.

"I am guessing you are exactly who we are looking for," you reply. Tolya reached for his own blade the moment the assailant had stepped out of the dark, he holds it tight and his eyes are fixed over your shoulder. "We aren't here for a fight."

"Tell that to your friend," the man replies.

"Tolya," you say calmly. Tolya is reasonable, Tolya is smart and above all Tolya knows better than most, much better than his twin, when there's not a need for a fight. But he doesn't look willing to backdown.

"Perhaps I might be more inclined to step down if you remove the blade from my friends back," Tolya says slowly.

A hand grips your shoulder tight, and the blade moves from your spine to your side. A much more defendable position, but a still a threat. "Better?" The man asks.

"If you wish to keep your fingers, I’d take your hands off her.”

You watch him and your heart, against your practiced calm, races in your chest and his eyes flicker to meet yours. It dawns on you why he hasn't calmed the situation, why he is defensive and not quite like his normal self. He senses your confusion, your fear and he is not used to that in you. He isn't paying attention to the man's heartbeat or his emotions because he is still fixed on you. And that realisation makes your heart jump in a way you should know better than to let it do, and Tolya feels it. "He won't repeat himself," you tell the man, and he drops the blade to his side. "We were sent to get you, alive was the preference."

"Who sent you?" The man asks.

"Sturmhond," Tolya explains, listening to his heart now, sensing the fear, the anger, the loss. "We are here to help." Tolya's expression softens, he has been in the world and really seen enough of it to know that there's danger in the most unexpecting of places, but one of the many things about him that is never unsurprising, is how he still sees the opportunity for kindness and grace amongst them.

Sturmhond stares at the two of them and is quick to dismiss Tolya, who walks out on the deck and is soon shoulder to shoulder with Tamar.

"You seem tense brother," she muses, eager to hear what had happened.

"I shouldn't have gone," he thinks aloud. Tamar frowns.

"How did you come to that ridiculous conclusion?" She asks, pulling at a piece of the bread she is eating.

"Because it was my presence that made her vulnerable," he explains. "She was scared, I've not seen her scared before."

"Are you sure it was fear, and not anxiety?" Tamar asks nonchalantly. "Besides, Everyone's fate is up to the saints, is it not?"

"Not hers," Tolya says without pausing to think. Tamar gives him a side glance and he shoves her shoulder.

"Not hers?" Tamar echoes. "Not if you can help it."

[thegreenlizard]

Not Obi-Wan’s first slave uprising (II)

This is a drabble for“Not Obi-Wan’s first slave uprising” AU. It’s three disjointed pieces of tell don’t show in a trench coat, but I was trying to organise my (and Obi-Wan’s) thoughts, so it served a purpose. It’s not quite the path that that would take Obi-Wan to the conclusion at the end yet, but it might be pieces of it.

“All a jedi must do, padawan, is follow the Light. The rest is window dressing.”

—patron saint by spqr

What would have happened if the republic hadn’t miraculously been given an army just when they needed one, Obi-Wan thought. Would the republic have been overrun? No, the separatists wanted to secede, not conquer. More likely, the senate would have been forced to issue a draft, which would have been immensely unpopular—as the Military Creation Act had been, before the discovery of the clone army—both among the wealthy and influential core worlds who feared their populations would not accept it, and the Rim worlds who feared the draft would draw from their populations disproportionately. It would have made war less popular, less supported, and protracted war doubly so. It would have lead to seceding worlds facing less opposition, and the republic having less brute strength to force them to stay. It… would have meant the republic would have had to make concessions, reforms even. It would have meant diplomacy and negotiations would have to be attempted if all our war wasn’t an option. It, in fact, was exactly what the Jedi were meant to do.

Not this: commanding an army of slave soldiers to fight a war to force worlds to stay in a republic they no longer felt served their needs. To keep power in the hands of those who already had it, but weren’t willing to compromise to keep it.

*

In the days following the Military Creation Act and the draft of the Jedi Order, Obi-Wan had kept thinking back to something he had been told years ago, while he was still a padawan. Obi-Wan had been some months out from Melidaan, still on a probation, still trying to reconcile his experiences with the expectations of the Jedi. He had been trying to repair his frayed relationship with his newly reinstated master and had been hesitant to bring up any of his doubts. They had taken an easy diplomatic mission to Alderaan where Obi-Wan had met Bail, then still Prestor.

Bail had been a few years older than Obi-Wan, still growing into himself, but already he had had that core of duty and integrity that Obi-Wan had never ceased to admire. And he had told Obi-Wan something then, that had stayed with him all these years. That it was the duty of any leader, to serve the people whom they lead.

It was not the teaching of the Jedi. The Jedi taught that their duty was to serve the entire galaxy, and all sentient life therein. The Jedi were not leaders, but diplomats and arbitrators, facilitators of a different kind. But service and duty were baked into them in the crèche all the same. And there was something about Bail’s wisdom, that had resonated with Obi-Wan as he kept getting missions that turned into firefights and sometimes all out wars.

Obi-Wan already lost his argument with the Jedi Council then. He had only been a lowly knight and had been in the position to argue in the first place due to his mission debrief after Kamino and his lineage relationship with his great-grandmaster Yoda. But in the end, he had been told in no uncertain terms that the Order was not in a position to refuse the draft or to fight the Military Creation Act.

It had been a bitter pill to swallow. To go from Kamino, where the lights of the clones had shone so brightly in the force, as unique and riotously colourful as any city despite the outward appearances, to Geonosis where the lights of both Jedi and clones had been snuffed out in troves. He had been feeling sore in the force, from all those deaths. As far as he knew, the campaign was still ongoing, but he had been recalled to Coruscant to give his mission report in person—and to accept his assignment as a general of the army.

Only to then realise that the newly passed Military Creation Act afforded the clones no civil rights, not even sentient status. To realise that the Jedi were just… going to accept it, because of politics and of the greater duty they could apparently serve.

Frankly, if the Jedi’s duty to all sentient life did not extend equally to the men under their command, then Obi-Wan no longer cared about following the Order’s rules. He would never stop being a Jedi, but as Qui-Gon had once put it, being a Jedi was about following the light—the rest was window dressing.

But now, his duties as a Jedi were to include direct command of soldiers. Men, whose wellbeing relied on his decisions. Men, who would live or die on his word. That was not the case with other sentients of the galaxy, who were free to make their own decisions. Didn’t that make his duty to his men greater, not lesser? Didn’t that make it primary?

Obi-Wan had always struggled with attachments. But he did not know how to fight with divided loyalties, how to split his heart and portion pieces of it carefully, calculatingly. There was no room in war for it. He had always given all of himself to the fights he chose. To Melidaan. To Mandalore. To their people. He did not know how to do any less now.

He felt like he was at the precipice of something, at a fork in the road before him where he could only choose to walk one path but not another. He had a choice: his men, the order, or the senate.

He had, he realised, had to make the same choice before: to be a Jedi, or a general. To serve the people, or his mission brief. He had already made his decision and had kept making it over the years. And he found that it was not so hard to make again, after all.

*

“It is the duty of any leader, to serve the people whom they lead,” Obi-Wan starts haltingly.

“My primary responsibility—my primary loyalty—is no longer to the Jedi Order, the senate, or even the republic and its people. It is to the men under my command.”

“If these duties conflict, I will put our men first.” Obi-Wan willed his commander to understand. “We will fight, and we will die. But only as long as it is in the pursuit of the common goal our men choose to make those sacrifices for.”

“Any man who wants out of the fight, I swear I will find them a way.” He would. It would be difficult to smuggle deserters out, but he would personally falsify death certificates for everyone who’d rather take their chances outside GAR.

“I will not force you to fight. I will not be your slave master. If you would rather strike out at the unknown regions, just give the word. If you’d rather dump my ass before you go, just give the word. If you’d rather I step down from the command and start fighting for your rights in the courts, I swear I will pull every favour and piece of blackmail I have accrued during my diplomatic career. And if you’d rather break your chains—Cody, it wouldn’t be my first slave rebellion.”

Obi-Wan rises from his chair and drops on a knee in front of his silent commander. He pulls his lightsaber from his belt and offers it to Cody.

“So you see, it is not you who are at my service. It is I who am at yours.”

*

Cody doesn’t know what to say to his general offering to commit treason for him and his men. The man has literally gone down on his knee to, what? Swear loyalty to Cody, a clone? This is so far outside the parameters of his training that Cody might just as well have been transported to another dimension entirely. And he does not know what to say.

The general, still kneeling at Cody’s feet, tries for a smile though it comes out more as a grimace.

“You don’t have to say anything, commander. We can pretend this conversation never happened. I know I haven’t earned your trust yet. You don’t have to decide anything now.”

Kenobi gets up, sits back in his chair and scrubs his face, looking a little lost. Then, to Cody’s horror, he starts undoing the plates of his armour and pulling open the body glove underneath.

“Did you know that there’s a word for a freed slave who enslaves others?” Kenobi asks conversationally and tilts his head until Cody can see his bared neck. It’s pale, like the rest of him, and there’s a band of twisting scar tissue around it. Cody must react somehow, because Kenobi nods and starts putting his armour back to rights.

“Depukrekta,” he says with disgust. “I wasn’t a slave for very long, in the grand scheme of things, but I…”

“I—to be frank, I considered resigning from the Order and refusing the draft entirely in protest. But I thought you and the men at least deserved a choice in how you wanted your battles fought.” Kenobi shrugs and adds ruefully “And the option of resigning publicly is still open, should you wish to be rid of me.”

Kenobi, having said his piece, slips quietly out. Cody states after him for a long time, thoughts whirling. Then he comms Fox.

[a-humble-bagel]

 so i finished good omens season 2 a couple days ago and i have a lot of thoughts about the ending, and how i’m not a big fan of the coffee theory. i think that aziraphale’s decision at the end of the season was actually very in-character, and i honestly love how that ending showed a key difference between aziraphale and crowley, so now im going to explain why i think that. 

(this post ended up being about 1,800 words long, so if you don’t feel like reading that much, than just skip to the conclusion/tldr at the end :] )

the last ten minutes of season 2 absolutely ripped my heart out, but i think one of the worst parts is that it honestly feels completely in character for aziraphale because unlike crowley, aziraphale never lost faith in the system. in season 1, for example, he consistently tried to go through the system to try to stop armageddon, even getting to the point where he decided that the archangels were the problem and decided to try to talk to god personally.

crowley, on the other hand, didn’t even think about trying to convince the demons that armageddon was a bad idea, because, unlike aziraphale, he doesn’t believe in the system. to aziraphale, the flaws in the system were individuals like micheal, uriel, and, in season one, gabriel, and never the actual system. it always seemed to him like the archangels were the ones making mistakes, and he always strove to do what he felt was the ‘right’ decision according to his own moral compass. 

@inhonoredglory wrote a really good analysis here that i very very highly recommend reading, but to summarize, @inhonoredglory talks about how crowley was the one who helped aziraphale learn that he doesn’t have to follow heaven’s command and to do what his heart deems is right, even if it feels like he’s breaking the rule, and how aziraphale isn’t blind to heaven’s problems but wants to fix them. he’s never stopped wanting to do good. 

in addition to this, while aziraphale is still trying to be a good angel, crowley has kinda given up on the whole being a demon and making life worse thing. so while neither aziraphale or crowley follow what their respective sides want, they’re doing it in very different ways. aziraphale is doing what he believes an angel should do, not what heaven believes an angel should do, while crowley doesn’t try to do “demonic” things at all anymore, he’s just kinda living life. 

aziraphale wants to do good. crowley wants to live life. those are the two paths and the two different opinions that played a large role in season 2 ending the way it did. it’s a difference the two have always had, but up until this point in the series, those motivations led to them wanting the same thing (stopping armageddon). however, when the metatron offers aziraphale gabriel’s job, suddenly aziraphale’s and crowley’s desires are leading them to two different paths. 

but obviously there’s a lot more to their relationship than that. i mean the whole series revolves around how much aziraphale and crowley love each other. like @inhonoredglory said, it was crowley who showed aziraphale that he could defy heaven and that it was better to do what his heart said than what the archangels told him. they clearly both love each other so much, even if neither of them are actually willing to say it. that’s why i think that, as tempted as he was, aziraphale wasn’t originally going to accept the metatron’s offer because he couldn’t just leave crowley, but after the metatron said that he could make crowley an angel again, well,

it was basically all aziraphale wanted wrapped up in one thing. he would be able to do real good and make a change and fix all those problems in heaven, and he’d be able to do it with crowley there with him! it was like a dream come true! it’s tricky to remember since we all (or most of us at least, including me) think of this as them breaking up, but it’s important to remember that neither crowley nor aziraphale actually wanted to leave each other. they were both asking the other to stay with them. i mean aziraphale literally says that he needs crowley.

but with all that, why would aziraphale still end up choosing heaven over crowley if he was really acting of his own volition?

im gonna get to that in a minute, but first let’s take a minute to talk about crowley..

now i’ve been talking a lot about how crowley doesn’t believe in the system anymore, but let’s go into the details now. the opening to the entire season shows crowley basically creating the stars and space and more or less the universe, and then his disappointment at the fact that most of his work won’t even get to be appreciated. he’s clearly upset and plans to ask god about it, assuming he can’t get into trouble for asking a few questions which we know from season one is how he got kicked out of heaven, so it’s very probable that he questioned god, disagreed with god, got kicked out and didn’t seem to care about being “good”.

aziraphale questions whether what heaven is doing is right, where as crowley just questioned god. so, crowley got kicked out because he questioned the system (god) and was met with an “i’m right, you’re wrong” attitude. after all that, why would he trust the system? why would he believe that heaven could be reformed if he’s seen some of the worst stuff it could do? why would he ever want to be an angel again when the first time around, he put all his love and effort into something only for it to be underappreciated, and when he dared to ask otherwise he got kicked out?

also, when he snuck up to heaven, crowley discovered why gabriel went down to earth (or part of it at last). gabriel said no to armageddon 2, he defied the will of the archangels and the metatron (and we assume god as well), and for that he was going to lose all of his power. he only had power as long as he agreed with everyone else, and when he disagreed all of that power was taken away, just like it had been taken away from crowley.

so, as far as crowley sees it. heaven is broken and corrupt and unfixable, and the only way he’s able to do what he likes is without both heaven and hell. after all, that’s all he’s wanted, to be able to do what he wants. he wanted his creation of space to be allowed to develop, he wanted to be left alone by heaven and hell, he wants aziraphale to be there with him. so, to crowley, aziraphale saying he wanted to take over heaven and make crowley and angel again would have seemed like the worst possible thing in the world. being an angel in heaven would take away almost everything he wants, except aziraphale. 

so, we have crowley, who needs aziraphale, and needs freedom from heaven and hell, and we have aziraphale who needs crowley, and who needs to be able to do good. now, let’s quickly talk about the metatron’s offer before we get back to aziraphale’s decision. now, when the metatron is talking with aziraphale, it’s clear that at first aziraphale is just being polite. he clearly wants to get away and go back to crowley, until the metatron mentions crowley. even after that, aziraphale still seems very conflicted.

i’d also like to point out that while i don’t believe the coffee theory, the metatron is definetly manipulating aziraphale, he just doesn’t need any magic to do it. the metatron goes out of his way to seem approachable and just like aziraphale (by getting him human coffee), the smile drops from his face and ominous music plays as he and aziraphale leave the bookshop, and, even though he tells aziraphale to ‘take all the time [he] needs’, he’s right back to ask him if he’s made up his mind after only a few short minutes, after he sees crowley storm out. not to mention, the metatron definetly knows more than he lets on, he mentions that crowley was always “asking damn fool questions” which we can assume are the questions about space that got him thrown out of heaven. 

@halemerry​ wrote a really good analysis of the metatron’s manipulation here that goes into a lot more detail than what i just said and i’d really reccomend reading it.

so now aziraphale has to choose between doing what his heart says is the “right” thing to do, and what his heart desires (crowley), and he’s being pressured and mainpulated by the metatron into choosing the first option. now, throughout the series, he’s often conflicted on whether or not he should do what feels right, and crowley has helped him learn that it’s better for him to do what seems good to him. it’s just that in the past that always aligned with him and crowley working together.

and so, no matter how much it’s hurting him, aziraphale chooses to go up to heaven because now he can finally do good. he feels that it’s what he has to do, no matter how painful it is. and when he hears about “the second coming” his determination grows. he has to be up there, someone has to keep things in line, someone has to fix the system. but, what about the smile? why would he smile? well for the same reason he smiled in the bookshop just before he left:

and the same reason he smiled before getting in the elevator:

he’s putting on a brave face. i mean moments before he smiled in the elevator he looked like he was on the verge of tears, but now he’s smiling and trying to pretend as though nothing is wrong.

and that is why aziraphale choosing to go to heaven is in character. because he’s always believed that the problem was the people in the system, not the system itself, because crowley helped him learn to do what he feels is right regardless of his own personal comfort with that, because he doesn’t have the context crowley does of knowing what it’s like to be a high level angel and knowing what exactly got gabriel punished, and because, yes, he is being manipulated by the metatron, but all the metatron needs are words, not coffee. 

tldr: aziraphale would choose to go to heaven because he thinks he can fix it, he doesn’t have the context crowley does, the metatron is manipulating him (but not with magic), and he’s learned (through crowley) to do what he feels is right regardless of how uncomfortable it makes him feel. it’s just that in this case, the thing that will let him do the most good is leaving crowley

[buckysmischief]

shadow of mine [2/2]

druig x f!reader

wc: 3.4k

summary: druig was getting bored of babylon, he was ready to take on more adventures. but the shadows in his mind led him down a path, one he never dared to speak out loud (except for maybe to kingo)

an: another thank you to @stuckonjbbarnes, i wouldn't know what to do without you 🩵

masterlist | part one

1523 AD

It had been almost 200 years since Druig had seen you. Not even a glimpse. He had started to wonder if something had happened to you, if he had somehow fucked up with you too.

Not that he considered what happened at Tenochtitlan a fuck up, but after being alone for two years he started to feel some of the ramifications of his actions.

Alone wasn’t the right word, Druig had been surrounded by the hundreds of people he saved from themselves. Isolated, that’s what he was. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle the situation he created. He stepped in more than he ever had with the humans, but he felt it was best to live in the shadows for a while.

Two years without the Eternals was one thing, the break was truly needed. But two years without you? It certainly wasn’t ideal, not anymore. There were so many things he wanted to know, getting to know more about you was what he was looking forward to the most. Druig had done his best not to create his own narrative about you, which was extremely difficult when he’s only had two conversations with you in the last 2,000 years.

Instead, though, he started to wonder what all he didn’t know. What was being kept from him. Not confronting Ajak took more self control than he knew he had, unfortunately he couldn’t control his irritability. Once all the Deviants were gone he didn’t have it in him to care about anyone else’s grand plan, and he was done listening to someone who wasn’t being honest with him or anyone else. 

“Are you going to be in everyone’s head this whole time or should I come back another time?” You stood behind him, a flower crown in hand.

Druig was so out of it he never even noticed you were there.

He turned around and smiled for the first time in what felt like centuries. “Is that for me?”

“I don’t just go around making these for everyone.” Just like the last one, it fit him perfectly. “Did you miss me?”

He grabbed your hands and brought them to his face, needing a way to know you were real. “It felt like I lost my shadow.”

You smirked at him, “A bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“No.” That’s exactly what it felt like. You were always there, following him everywhere he went. A part of him, but not really. Always slipping through his fingers.. “Dramatic would be blowing in like the wind and disappearing just as easily.”

He let go of you but kept you close, debating to himself if he should enjoy the moment or jump straight to the questions he’s kept to himself all these years. 

“So I was thinking, I know you must have about a million questions,” could you read his mind too?, “what’s stopping you from picking my brain yourself?”

He had thought about that a lot after you left the last time and he always came to the same conclusion, “I don’t know you as well as I wish I did, but you’re special to me. I’m not sure I could ever use my powers on you.”

You flashed him a devilish grin, “What if I asked nicely?”

He rolled his eyes, accepting then and there that you were going to be a handful. “Alright, next question. I’m assuming you’re also an Eternal?”

“Yes.”

“What’s your special power? Show me.” He hoped to start out with something fun, not too serious. There was plenty of time to get into that.

You gave him a quick smile before disappearing and reappearing behind him. He turned to face you and you were gone again, sinking into the darkness, making a game out of it.

Druig watched you emerge from several different places before finally realizing how you were doing so. “So I was spot on when calling you a shadow? And you called me dramatic.”

You rolled your eyes as you walked back to him. “Yes, well, I couldn’t just admit you were right so easily could I? That wouldn’t have been fun.”

If he had to narrow down the second he knew he was a goner, it would have been right then. He had no business falling for someone who easily could have been a figment of his imagination. What if it was really Mahd Wy’ry? No, Druig refused to even entertain that idea. He could smell you, touch you, taste you. Theoretically that is. There was no way you weren’t real.

He pulled you closer to him again, intertwining his fingers with yours, and began to walk to the river.  “Not to ruin the mood, but did you find anything out? About why we were separated?”

The look of frustration on your face gave him his answer before you even started to speak. Is that why you were back so soon? Because you hadn’t found anything? Was it just another thing Arishem decided because he could? “I can’t find out without drawing too much attention to myself. But in my search I found another Eternal who has his own agenda but is willing to help me find answers.”

“His?” Druig’s jaw tensed. He’d never been the jealous type, but the thought of someone spending all their time with you while held on to the mere moments he got was unsettling at best. 

You couldn’t help but chuckle, “You’re welcome to join us, take on a new adventure.”

“Now’s not the right time.” The thought of leaving with you had crossed his mind a time or two since he last saw you, but he couldn’t just abandon his people now. It didn’t feel right, not yet. “But one day I’d love to travel the galaxy with you. Get lost in the cosmos together.”

Druig thought about that often too, anything that involved spending more time with you. Truth be told he was jealous that he couldn’t remember what his lives were like with you, just another thing Arishem took from him.

By the time the two of you had made it to the river the sun began to set and Druig only had one more question to ask before he moved onto the more personal ones. “How did you find me? It couldn’t have been easy.”

You sat down on a log and pulled Druig down to do the same, to relax and enjoy the sunset. “I have a million memories of us watching the sunset together, none of them are as beautiful as this one.” It wasn’t until the sun had disappeared below the horizon that you answered his question, no matter how cliche the answer was. 

“I felt you. Once I left the planet I was assigned to I followed that feeling until I landed here. It took me some time to track you down in Babylon, but not much. I wish I would have told you everything then, it’s not like I have many more answers now than I had before.” 

Druig didn’t quite know how to respond to that. On one hand he was upset the way you handled it. The way you came and went for centuries without saying anything, he thought he made everything up at one point. He might not have had answers but at least he’d have you.

On the other hand, he knew you were only doing what you thought was best. It’s not like being separated from someone you were designed for, someone you didn’t know even existed until one random day was a situation that was easily prepared for. 

At the end of the day, Druig was just thankful you found him at all. He never let himself wonder what it would be like if you didn’t.

“We have each other now, or at least until you have to leave. Which is..?” As much as he hated it, he knew it was coming.

You pouted and looked down at your feet, not having the heart to look him in the eyes. “I have until morning. We have a lead on where another group of Eternals is, apparently they haven’t heard anything from Arishem in over 5,000 years. Hopefully one of them knows something.”

Instead of dwelling on the few hours he had left with you, Druig brought you back to camp. He wanted to create as many memories he could with you since neither had any idea when you’d be back.

He introduced you to the few people that were still awake, they had a fire going and invited you to hear about how Druig saved them from themselves. While you listened, he went to grab dinner for the two of you. 

What he saw when he returned had caught him off guard. Not really what he saw, but more of how it made him feel. The way the fire hit your features just right, the way your laugh filled the air, how easily you seemed to fit in.. it filled Druig with a happiness he never knew before until then.

“You’re absolutely breathtaking, you know that?” He asked after you excused yourself from the group, not giving you time to answer. “Come with me.”

The two of you spent the rest of the night telling each other all there was to know about each other. About how when you started getting your memories back your team was convinced it was Mahd Wy’ry and instead of wiping your memories, they took pity on you and let you leave the planet. 

You told him about how you began to resent your powers at one point. Hiding in the shadows was all fun and games until you learned about the dark things the people on your planet did to each other and you could do nothing about it. In return, Druig told you that was also a struggle of his and played a big part in him leaving.

What he didn’t tell you was that it was your last visit that made him really start to doubt Arishem and gave him the strength to start doing what he thought was best for the people of this planet. Or at least a small portion of them.

By the time the sun started to rise Druig was really starting to talk himself into leaving with you, but he didn’t. He had to have some self control when it came to you or else he might accidentally lose himself.

“Hopefully the next time we see each other I’ll have more answers.” You stood in front of him and tried not to cry. So badly you wanted to stay but your search for answers, the time you lost, it had to mean something. 

He titled your head to look you in the eyes, both of you lingering on each other's lips a little too long in the process. “As long as you come back to me.”

You started to disappear into the shadows, but Druig wasn’t ready. He had to do one more thing before you left.

“Yn! Wait!” He called out, hoping you’d reappear. 

“I’m still here.” You whispered behind him. Desperately trying to keep your tears from rolling down your face.

Druig didn’t say a word, he didn’t have to. He turned around and opened his arms and you quickly jumped into them. Time felt like it slowed down. His hand gently rubbed the small of your back while you wrapped your arms around his neck, neither of you wanting to let go.

You pulled away enough to look at him in the eyes again, getting one last look before you had to go.

“Kiss me.” It was all he needed to say for you to close the gap between you two again, pressing your lips to his.

After what felt like centuries and no time at all, Druig no longer felt you in his arms. You were still in the forest, though, he still felt you there. He stayed in that spot until he knew you were gone, regretting not leaving with you when he had the chance.

2023

“It’s been weeks,” Makkari signed, “we haven’t heard from any of them. It’s like… they’ve disappeared.” 

It had been almost just as long since the emergence, since Ikaris tried to kill him. It was selfish of him, he knew it was, but all he could think about was you and where you were. How long it would take to find each other again. His friends, his family, were missing and all he could think about was you.

“Arishem.” Thena said out loud what he had been thinking the whole time. “We have to go back.”

Just as Druig was about to agree with her, again for the most selfish of reasons, he began to feel a familiar pull. It was different from all the other times, it felt wrong. Whatever it was, Thena felt it too. She conjured her weapons and waited. He wanted to suggest she back down but it was Thena, that would never happen.

“I felt it too.” Makarri signed. Druig was less confident it was you then, none of the others have felt you before.

“What?” He didn’t have to act confused, he genuinely was. 

Thena and Makkari walked closer to the flickers of light that appeared at the end of the corridor. Druig couldn’t move from where he was sitting, he couldn’t think. He felt the pull become stronger, his senses were blown.

Just then, a small troll was spat out from the light. Druig tried to focus as he mumbled something about drunk teleporting.

“Um..” Thena began, but was rudely interrupted. 

“Hang on, hang on.” The troll cleared his throat and began to introduce whoever was stepping through next, “Behond, the royal Prince of Titan…”

“Enough Pip!” Another voice shouted, pushing the man and troll out of the way. “Eros’ ego is big enough and I promise you none of them care.”

Druig jumped from his seat, earning quick and confused looks from both Makkari and Thena. 

“Hey, you.” You smirked at him, not knowing what else to say. Not in front of the others.

“You know these people, Druig?” Thena asked, weapons still in her hands.

He never took his eyes off of you, “I don’t know who the fuck the lads are, but this is Yn.” It came out a little more harsh than he meant it, or maybe he did. With everything else that was going on that was the icing on his world ending cake. 

Thena and Makarri looked even more confused than they were before. They knew better than to push Druig for answers when he looked as serious as he did.

Eros and Pip stood behind you, they knew exactly who everyone was and what events had unfolded in the weeks prior. It turned out yours and Eros’ interests were more aligned than they had thought.

“So this is who you’ve been traveling with?” Druig thought to you, “A pretty boy and a drunken troll?” He tried his best not to come off jealous but he was doing a terrible job.

“You say that like there’s not two beautiful women behind you that you’ve been traveling with.” 

He didn’t have to read your mind to know nothing had ever happened, but to finally see the man who had been helping you… using his powers to tell them to jump out of the Domo felt like the right thing to do.

“So you must be the famous Druig!” Eros went to shake his hand but was ignored. “Yn never shuts up about you.”

He hated to admit it, even to himself, that that statement had put him more at ease. “Talk about me a lot do you?” 

“More than you have obviously.”

“Kingo knows. He even made a movie about it.”

That’s when Makkari got in the middle of you two, “Enough with the telepathy! Who are these people? How do you know her?”

Druig explained everything to them. Well, everything he knew. Makkari felt so sorry for you both, though she finally understood why he was the first to lose faith in Arishem. 

Thena finally disarmed herself, if Druig said they weren’t threats then she trusted him. She looked to you a moment before asking, “So did you find anything out or were you just checking to see if Druig was alive?”

He watched you carefully, looking for any sign that you had found some answers. If you had then that would mean all of the time away from each other would have been worth it.

“Both actually.” You smiled, almost forgetting why you were even there. “We were on our way to Earth when Eros saw strange activities going on, not long after that I didn’t feel you anymore. I thought the worst. Looking more into it we realized the emergence had started-”

“You knew about the emergence and never said anything?” Druig interrupted.

“Your takeaways are the worst, you know that? I thought you died.” You shot back angrily. “Like I was trying to say.. I found out about it through my research and my memories. It’s why I believe Arishem separated us, we always found out just before they happened and tried stopping them. We came close to succeeding the last time, obviously Arishem didn’t like it then and definitely doesn’t appreciate it now if taking your friends is any indication. Congratulations by the way, I wish I could have been there.”

“You would be proud to know he almost put Tiamut to sleep,” signed Makkari, “until Ikaris tried to kill him.” 

Druig winced at the memory, relieved that you weren’t there to see that. He could tell that you were proud of him but also slightly put off about the almost dying part. He stepped closer to you and pulled at your wrist, “I’m sure you two can handle these lads, there’s a few things Yn and I need to discuss in private.”

He pulled you out of the corridor and down a hallway, finally choosing a room that was far enough away from the others.

The last time he saw you was in 1523, you didn’t check in a single time. He wanted to look in your mind for himself to see what all you’ve been up to more than he ever had before, find any reason he could to validate how upset he was. 

Druig wasn’t even sure he knew why he was upset. A mix between not seeing you for so long, his regret of not going with you, everything that had to do with the emergence, Eros’ existence. He just really didn’t like that guy.

“I’m so glad you’re alive.” All of those feelings were gone the moment your arms wrapped around him. “I’m sorry it took so long, we ran into a bit of trouble..”

“No, no. Don’t apologize,” he pressed his forehead to yours, “just tell me this is done. Promise me you’ll stay with me this time, no more leaving.”

You pulled back from him, giving yourself a clear view of his face. “You’re stuck with me for all eternity I’m afraid.”

He knew they were on a mission and his friends were quite possibly in more danger than they’ve ever been in before, but all he could think about was leaving it all behind. To find some corner of the universe where you and him could just exist together without another soul around. He deserved a chance to create his own memories with you, you deserved a chance to have your own set of memories from this lifetime. Arishem had taken enough, Druig didn’t want him taking any more.

No matter how badly he wanted to follow through with that plan, running away together, he couldn’t do that to his family. “After we find the others, I think we should find somewhere to call home. A place that doesn’t need protection, that isn’t incubating a Celestial. Just me and you.”

He didn’t know just how ready you were for that reality, how ready you were for it to be just you and him.

You parroted his words back to him, leading him back the way you came. “Just me and you.”

[1141520851813892291920]

I can't stop having nightmares.

It's not abnormal for me, especially considering I just got put on new medication, but something about it feels... different. I can do nothing but watch and listen. I can't scream, can't breathe, can't so much as blink.

The nightmares are never the same. They follow a pattern, but it's not like they're recurring. Usually they involve the face or head somehow.

One night I was on the factory floor, in front of a conveyor belt. Heads would come past, separated from their bodies long before they got to me. My job was simple. All I had to do was remove their faces. They were ready for me, I didn't have to make any of the cuts, those were done before. I simply slipped my fingers beneath the flesh, and peeled. I wanted to stop. I didn't want to take their faces away. But all I could do was watch as hands I knew were not my own but must've been because I could feel them pull away the skin and discard it. I watched the faceless skulls be whisked away by the belt. They had no eyes. I envied them.

My eyes were being sutured shut. For a moment I felt what was almost relief. If my eyelids are stitched together, surely I can stop seeing. The relief curdled in me when I realized that I was watching the procedure. I could feel it, every time the needle passed through my skin, every tug of the thread. But still I could see. I wept. The tears did not escape my eyes. They were sewn closed, and yet the pattern of the thread is burnt into my mind.

My brain was being removed. On an intellectual level, I know I shouldn't have been able to feel those gloved hands as they so slowly tore through my cerebral matter, but that didn't make the agony go away, I watched as they pulled it apart, squeezing it between their fingers. They looked like a surgeon, but they took none of the care that is demanded of those who poke around in the brain in the waking world. After I was empty, so empty and yet still alive, still seeing, I felt as they plunged their hands back into my gaping skull. I watched as they took out what I knew was no longer there.

I die, and I kill, and I cry, and I maim. Even as the blood drips into my eyes I can still see.

Waking is the only mercy I find. My psychiatrist says maybe it's the new medication. I haven't told her I no longer take it. It makes it hard for my eyes to focus.

Hmmm...

Well, thank you for your account. While I certainly know the power of dreams and what they may hold, it is still...difficult to sift memories from nightmares from reality.

Though, by virtue of you being here and the...shall I say, flavor - for lack of a better term - of your statement, I will consider your dreams, if nothing else, prophetic of something attempting to...influence you.

I must admit, this one in particular...got under my skin - no pun intended. The removal of body parts, particularly the faces...well, it does seems like something my former faceless friends made their signature. That said, I cannot ignore the ever present theme of seeing. Counter intuitive, perhaps, to me, but I am...quickly adjusting to the idea that things Here are never as I originally assume them. I am resisting the urge to draw conclusions, to remain purposefully open to new information and whatever path that information puts me on.

There are...things are much more real, now, then they were for me previously. The...people, here, are real. My people. Which means I need to protect them. Which means...learning as much as I can, and that will require being wrong, often.

But I can be wrong. I think that's...probably ok. Especially with how horrible being right always tends to be. He told me this can be a fresh start.

I think I'll let him be right.

Which - does nothing for your nightmares, my apologies. But thank you for bringing this to me. Do tell me if things get worse. I can't promise to help, but I will always be here to listen.

[causeitsagame]

Fic: Aquila (6/8)

Pairing: Hajime Hinata/Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

Author: @miggylol

Notes: HOPE Y'ALL LIKE TALKING

Previous Chapters: in the tag.

Excerpt: All of those conclusions ran rapid-fire through Kazuichi's eyes, and he further relaxed. "Huh. Well, gotta say that this is a big surprise, man."

"You're telling me," Hajime said dryly. "His first reaction was to get pissed off at me about it."

-----

The next morning at breakfast, Hajime tried not to be obvious as he studied Kazuichi. Sonia would easily notice such an appraisal, while Akane would ignore anything short of a bullhorn against her ear while she ate. Kazuichi fell somewhere between those extremes, but unfortunately, Hajime wasn't quite sure where.

At least Kazuichi hadn't resented Hajime moving over to the cottages, thanks to a brief excuse of not wanting to leave Fuyuhiko out there alone. All of them knew far, far better than to say this out loud, but Fuyuhiko would be the least able to extract himself if some collapse, earthquake, or other crisis left him trapped. He might have as much raw determination as the rest of them combined, but determination alone couldn't lift a toppled tree.

At those few words of explanation, Kazuichi nodded knowingly and said nothing more. If Fuyuhiko insisted on going off somewhere, then at least he would tolerate Hajime's presence while throwing one of his anti-social fits. That was a good compromise until Fuyuhiko stopped stalking around like an angry cat and was once again willing to rejoin the group.

The cover story worked, but the ruse did leave Hajime feeling a little guilty. The excuse Hajime had given wasn't really a lie, but eventually, continuing down this path would result in straight-up twisting the truth. That, he wasn't willing to do.

Even so, while Kazuichi was a good and enthusiastic friend, he was…

Hajime paused to consider what label to use.

Kazuichi was reactive. Fuyuhiko was the one whose body might work against him if a crisis erupted, but it was Kazuichi who was the most likely to fall emotionally apart, by far. Hajime and Fuyuhiko pairing off might earn well-wishes from him, for all they knew! But it could also trigger a spiral of self-doubt where Kazuichi looked at the survivors, counted up the odd number of their small group, and then obsessed over every harsh rejection Sonia had ever given him.

"You keep looking over there," Fuyuhiko muttered as he worked at an orange's peel. "Going to tell him?"

"I know we'd talked about just staying private for a while," Hajime murmured back as he also reached for one, "but it feels different now that Sonia knows."

As if she'd somehow heard them, Sonia smiled knowingly from her nearby table. Perhaps they were leaning in a bit too close.

"Yeah," Fuyuhiko admitted. "Fine. Let's get it done."

Hajime nodded, but settled in for a real breakfast, first. According to Sonia's stated plan, the other three were headed back to the fifth island, while he and Fuyuhiko had another day of work ahead of them here. He'd need some calories in him.

"Okay, let's do it," he eventually whispered, and stood. Fuyuhiko followed suit, and went over to catch Akane by the arm before she could rush off to the dock.

Almost immediately, Hajime heard Akane say, "Oh, huh. Is that all? Sure, whatever." That easy? Dammit, Fuyuhiko knew what he'd been doing by claiming the girls as his targets.

"Hey, Kazuichi," Hajime said, and also caught Kazuichi by the elbow before he could head for the boat. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Huh? Oh, sure, man. What's up?"

"It's, uh…" Aware of Akane studying him, clearly about to comment on the situation, Hajime pulled Kazuichi into a nearby hallway. Its walls were lined with faded, yellowed posters about the musical act that was making a three-month visit to the islands, advertisements for businesses over in the second island's charming village, and encouragement to take advantage of the world-class room service menu. A small framed sign reminded them that reservations were recommended for the restaurant.

"Seriously," Kazuichi said once they were alone. Unfortunately, he was tilting visibly toward concern. "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Me and Fuyuhiko got to talking, and we might…" Hajime shrugged, striving for casual.

"…Stay out there?" Kazuichi prompted in the silence. "You both said the cottages are a lot nicer. If you want to bother redoing the roofs—or managed to find some good ones—then hey, more power to you! Maybe I can try to get those electric carts up and running, huh? That way, you wouldn't have to keep walking back and forth." A grin erupted, and he leaned in with an amused, conspiratorial whisper. "Or you could just run him here and back. Ha! I just pictured his face if you offered to carry him."

"Ha, yeah, probably best to avoid that," Hajime weakly chuckled, and tried not to flash back to Fuyuhiko's proximity-versus-strength test from the day before. It'd be unfortunate if he started blushing here in the hallway. "Maybe we will stay. They are actually a lot nicer. But mostly, I wanted to mention that he and I…"

Kazuichi waited as Hajime fell back into silence, and popped his eyebrows up to prompt him to continue.

Wow, Hajime apparently did not have any Ultimate Tell Your Friend That You're Well On The Way To Hooking Up With Another Friend in his quiver of talents. After a moment of thought, he held up two fingers like he was making a peace sign. "He and I are thinking that we might want to be…" The fingers crossed. "…He and I, y'know?"

"Huh?" A moment later, clarity struck, and Kazuichi blinked and shook his head like a dog throwing off water. "Wait, seriously?"

"Yeah." Again, Hajime strove for casual, like this was a typical romantic pairing instead of forty percent of their known universe changing the social rules.

Kazuichi stared back at him in continued befuddlement. Then, unfortunately, he slid into worry as he turned to look toward the hall of hotel rooms. His stricken expression clearly said that he was recalling the wealth of other hotel options and homes left by previous residents.

Would Akane soon want to relocate to the second island that had been most popular with American tourists, to take advantage of its protected swimming areas and climbing cliffs? Would Sonia relocate to the elegant sprawl of the fourth's island top-end resort? Had Hajime and Fuyuhiko moving out and pairing off only been the first step in everyone choosing a path that led directly away from him?

Now for this, Hajime did have talents to draw upon. He silently thanked the therapist and psychologist at the back of his mind for putting labels onto all of those shifting emotions. Rather than acknowledge Kazuichi's deepening worry, he lightly continued, "Weirdly, it happened after a dream I had. I—well, Izuru, but it felt like me—was watching him lead a fight against the Foundation. We talked about it, afterwards. And got to talking about other things."

That was technically a lie, but Hajime didn't mind bending the truth of the timeline if it made Kazuichi feel better. As he'd suspected, it did work. Weirdly. But it worked.

Kazuichi worked through that, nodding slowly, and calmed down as he assigned deeper meaning to Hajime's words. It wasn't that people were finding better options than him; it was that Kazuichi Souda was, against all odds, actually the one in a better position. And he hardly ever got to experience that.

Hajime had been Hope's Peak's world-shattering triumph, and then the mastermind behind very nearly bringing back Junko Enoshima. Fuyuhiko had been at the head of armies that ruthlessly brought cities to their knees before putting bullets into civilians' heads. Kazuichi had certainly brought his own horror to the world, with all the devices he'd made for manufacturing Monokuma robots and helmets, or performing executions, or detonating dirty bombs across European cities. But his guilt had a slightly different feeling than theirs, for Kazuichi had always been following someone else's orders. Hajime and Fuyuhiko's memories had no such padding, as slight as it was.

If they'd formed a connection based on that recalled bone-deep regret, then it was understandable. It was a good thing to support each other, even. All of those conclusions ran rapid-fire through Kazuichi's eyes, and he further relaxed. "Huh. Well, gotta say that this is a big surprise, man."

"You're telling me," Hajime said dryly. "His first reaction was to get pissed off at me about it."

"Hah!" Kazuichi covered his mouth as soon as he'd barked out the laugh, and looked with continued amusement toward the restaurant door. "Is it wrong to wish you good luck?"

"Yes," Hajime said flatly, instinctively wanting to come to Fuyuhiko's defense. But then he paused, and couldn't help but say, "Thanks."

Kazuichi's grin held a few seconds more, then ebbed a bit. "So, is this, like, serious?"

"I don't know," Hajime admitted with a laugh. "I have zero idea. I know that I can wake the pods up, but not when, exactly. It would actually be nice to have those electric carts handy, but I don't know if it's worth clearing the trails for them, yet. And I know that I'm… I'm something with him, now, but I don't know what the label is. I really don't know these things. Believe it or not, that's actually a nice feeling to have."

Kazuichi's grin turned lopsided and softer, and he reached forward to clap his friend on the shoulder. The contact left him looking speculatively at Hajime, then at the doorway to the restaurant. If Hajime had to guess, Kazuichi's brain was reclassifying the number of romantic options on the island, rapid-fire.

Hajime held up his crossed fingers again. "Me and Fuyuhiko, remember? Literally just started something?"

Kazuichi stepped back. "Right, congrats! Hey, I'd better get to the boat, okay? Sonia and Akane are probably waiting for me." The girls' names brought that speculative glint back to his eyes, and Hajime said a silent prayer that all of them would return from the fifth island with no drama. The two of them adding romance to the equation really might have changed things.

Once the other three were headed for the dock, and it was once again time to focus on animal control, Fuyuhiko shot a hopeful look toward Hajime. "So? How'd it go? He looked like he was in a good enough mood heading out, but…"

Hajime nodded. "Yep." He paused for the length of a few steps, then carefully phrased, "He even wished us good luck."

"Hey, there's something." Fuyuhiko grinned. "Obviously, Akane didn't give two shits. Like I expected."

"Yeah, I noticed you grabbed the easier people," Hajime laughed, and lightly elbowed him. "You owe me."

"I owe you? You could've grabbed the girls before I did! Not my fault you don't know how to negotiate."

"You owe me," Hajime repeated. "I'm making you catch the first animal before I start working."

"Lazy ass," Fuyuhiko grumbled, and went off in search of a rope. "I'm not starting with the fucking chickens."

Hours later, they'd located several favored grazing spots and managed to relocate more than a dozen goats. The animals complained while they were being led, but now they happily grazed, or investigated a barn that their mothers and grandmothers had long abandoned. "So," Fuyuhiko wondered as they studied the ranch. "What do you do with goats, exactly?"

"Do?"

"It's not really like you eat them like the chickens, yeah?"

"Of course you can," Hajime idly mused, running through recipes in his mind for appetizers, entrees, and dessert. "Braised, curried, stewed. And with some fruit, honey, and goat cheese, we could—" He paused, then corrected himself. "No cheese." At least, not for Fuyuhiko.

Fuyuhiko nodded, his mood improving after Hajime remembered that without being prompted. But then it plummeted, for his gaze shifted to the adjoining coop, now repaired and ready to once again hold a flock.

"Let's go catch some fucking chickens," Hajime prompted with amusement.

"They shit everywhere, you know," Fuyuhiko complained as they walked toward their next task. "All across the hotel sidewalks, all over the island. That's my biggest problem with them."

"I know. So you've said. Repeatedly."

That earned a sharp sidelong look. With a wry smile, Hajime shut up.

Ahh.

Romance.

At dinner that night, it felt rather like they were zoo specimens. Sonia and Kazuichi studied them openly with every bite, while Akane also made no secret of her curiosity whenever she reloaded her plate. "So," Hajime prompted, very deliberately. "Did you find anything at the police dock?"

"We did," Sonia nodded, but kept looking between Fuyuhiko and Hajime as she spoke. "They're set up for scanning for boats in distress out in international waters. We'll be able to track any approaching vessels from quite a long range, once the power supply is back there."

"That's good to hear," Fuyuhiko agreed, and speared a wedge of melon. "Stop staring at us."

Sonia obligingly focused on her plate.

"You too, Souda."

Kazuichi tried to act like he wasn't staring, and did a piss-poor job of it.

They'd calm down soon enough, Hajime told himself, and shoveled in some rice taken from the restaurant's stockpiles. (Across all six islands, he estimated that there was enough rice to last a group of fifteen people approximately eight hundred and fifty-seven years, if everyone consumed it with every meal.) This was the most exciting change for their group since Hajime confirmed that he had a strategy for waking up the pods, and it was no wonder that they were the center of attention.

It was still annoying, though, and so it was a relief when dinner ended and they could escape back to what they'd decided was home. "I sure hope we picked the right cottages," Fuyuhiko muttered as they sped their pace. Heavy clouds had begun to roll in overhead.

"We should be. I didn't notice any water damage on the floor from other storms." Still, those clouds were heavy and swollen, and so low that it looked like they might be able to reach up and touch them. Hajime's first instinct was to set off running to beat the storm. His second instinct was to offer to scoop Fuyuhiko up, as Kazuichi had laughingly suggested. He thankfully fought back both instincts, and they made it to the cottages with minutes to spare.

"Good luck," Hajime laughingly told Fuyuhiko as they each reached for their cottage door, three doors down from the other.

"Good luck," Fuyuhiko wryly echoed, and stepped inside.

When the rain started, Hajime held his breath for long, purposeful stretches, waiting to hear any traitorous plink-plink-plinks that would warn him he'd made the wrong cottage choice. None came. He slowly walked through the cottage's expansive footprint, lingering in a reading nook across from a wall-mounted television, and then in a small breakfast alcove, and finally before a small lounging deck above the water.

A glass door led to that small deck. For a while, Hajime watched the rain through it. There was no lightning, so thunder wouldn't wake him. The wind howled, though; they'd want to check the roofs again once the storm passed.

He wondered how long it'd take until rain on a tropical island stopped feeling out of place. For all that perpetual sun had felt suspicious while inside the simulation, it was pleasantly easy to get used to. Ah well, Hajime thought, and turned for his bed. (Across the islands, they'd located several thousand sets of bed linens. It'd be a lot of laundry to do, eventually.) Storms would refill the reservoir tanks.

With the sound of rain soothing him, Hajime flicked the overhead light switch conveniently placed next to the bed, and let the noises steer him toward sleep.

"Hey."

Hajime blinked awake, some minutes or hours later. Pressure gripped his chest as he struggled to see anything. After a few long moments, with effort, he could barely make out Fuyuhiko's silhouette at the cottage door. There didn't seem to be any rain behind him, now, but what scant light there was must have to fight its way through thick clouds.

His heart beat more freely as he focused on the shadow Fuyuhiko made against that backdrop. On most days, Hajime honestly could handle his years-ago memories, but he never did well when it felt like he'd woken back up into blindness. "Hey. What's up?"

"I thought about how it was even darker, tonight. I didn't know if it'd be a problem. And if there was a problem, I thought maybe it'd help if…"

Hajime bit down hard and didn't point out that he hadn't noticed how dark it was until he'd been woken up. "Yeah. Thanks. You didn't have to, but thanks."

"So, hmm, let me just…" Fuyuhiko murmured to himself as he walked carefully into the cottage, trailing his hand against the far wall for guidance as he went. The door automatically swung shut behind him and even the faint glow from outside vanished.

Memories reared up and clawed deeply into Hajime's mind, whispering that he was back there. He was fading. He was alone. But light soon erupted, and Hajime instinctively threw an arm over his eyes before he processed that it wasn't bright enough to hurt.

A lamp would keep him awake if it were close, but Fuyuhiko had cleverly chosen a small one around a corner, near the door that led out to the deck. Its light reflected dimly off the walls, and showed up over in the bedroom as only a faint golden glow like a faded memory of the sun. That was enough, though; when Hajime looked around, he immediately saw where he was. "Good idea," he admitted. "I should have thought of that."

Fuyuhiko nodded as he walked back to the sleeping area, unconcerned. "I did the same thing, at first."

"At first?" Here on the real island?

"After this," Fuyuhiko clarified, and gestured to the heavy scarring over his useless right eye. He'd left his eyepatch in his own cottage, but Hajime hadn't paid any mind to the injury until he pointed to it. "Heh. Should clarify that, I guess: after the second time I lost it." He grinned wickedly. "Losing an eye from the same socket three time's gotta be a world record, right?"

"Must be," Hajime agreed with dark amusement. At least it apparently wasn't a source of trauma, by now.

"Anyway," Fuyuhiko continued, slouching comfortably into an armchair next to Hajime's bed. "I couldn't see for shit, at first. My brain still expected to be seeing out of an eye that wasn't there, and so it was…" He trailed off and sat in silence. When he continued, his good eye directed enormous sympathy toward Hajime. "And so it was dark. Not all the way, but a lot darker than it should be."

Hajime nodded back, and found himself relaxing into the mattress. No, it wasn't the same thing, but it was a surprisingly strong relief to be understood even halfway.

"So, I left a low light on overnight in the bathroom," Fuyuhiko continued. "You remember how they had those glass walls? Wish I'd been able to turn it down even further, but it worked. It felt weird to be sleeping with a nightlight, but in case I needed to get up, I didn't want to trip into something and rip this back open." His thumb drew a line low across his stomach. "It worked for me, then, so I thought it might work for you."

"It's a lot better, thanks. Seriously, I should have thought of that." For all of the knowledge and abilities that had been forced into him, an ingrained social norm of 'only kids sleep with a light on' was apparently too strong to overcome. Hajime needed to get over that. There wasn't reason to follow everyone else's expectations, any more.

Silence took over. In it, Fuyuhiko's words echoed. When his stomach had just been stitched up, huh? Hajime frowned against his pillow in thought. That meant that Fuyuhiko had been struggling inside his cottage, feeling like he'd lost even more than half his vision… when Hajime had been completely alone with him at Hotel Mirai. Just like the two of them now. Huh.

Slowly, Hajime pieced together memories and really considered the aftermath of Peko's execution like he hadn't, before. Fuyuhiko had been left dying in front of them, drowning and choking on his own blood. They'd all been so caught up in adrenaline and fear that Hajime never really thought that deeply about what was happening to someone who still felt like a stranger.

"Hey. Fuyuhiko?"

"Yeah?"

Hajime hesitated before asking, "Tell me if you don't want to think about this, but… do you remember what happened when you got rushed to the hospital?"

A slight smirk edged Fuyuhiko's voice. "Which time?"

That put a smile on Hajime, too. "The first one."

"Yeah, I do. Not as well as the second time, but yeah." As he spoke, Fuyuhiko's voice sobered. "It was just me and him in that fucked-up hospital, and he was… laughing." Shuddering, Fuyuhiko rubbed his arms and looked surprised by the strength of his recollection. "That bear's fucking laugh. You remember it, right?"

"Right. Of course."

"I couldn't move at all, by that point. He said he needed to sew up some internal bleeding, and he…" Troubled, Fuyuhiko folded in on himself more. "He… twisted. Warped. I didn't understand what I was seeing, and probably thought it was just my brain dying off with the rest of me. But after what we learned at the end, I guess it must have been the Junko A.I. flickering in, a little."

Hajime frowned, picturing some horrific Monokuma/Junko monster looming over a barely conscious Fuyuhiko. "How do you mean?"

"He needed fingers to hold the scalpel. And after he warped… there were fingers. It looked." Fuyuhiko struggled for the word. "Wrong. Not that I could pay much attention to how that damn bear looked, but when I make myself think back on it, it was like I was being operated on by some glitch. Some hole in reality."

Hajime shifted uneasily. Scalpels had been mentioned, but no anesthesia. He didn't want to clarify. "Sorry for asking. Looking back on it now, I suppose I assumed he'd just… edited your code to not be dying, any more."

"Maybe he did that, too. But you know that sadistic prick would never give up the chance to slice someone open when he's got an excuse to do so. He'd want to hear them hurting." Fuyuhiko's gaze grew even more distant, and he looked suddenly, agonizingly sad. "I hope Nekomaru wasn't awake."

"Oh. Shit. Yeah."

"He couldn't have been," Fuyuhiko decided, though it sounded more like he was convincing himself. "Think about how the guy didn't have a care in the world, afterward. There's no way he would've been like that if he remembered that fucking bear ripping out all his body parts, one by one. He… he wasn't awake. There's no way. No way."

Whatever awful memories he'd earned on Monokuma's operating table now seemed irrelevant. Fuyuhiko's expression warped further for Nekomaru's imagined mutilation than it ever had for his own surgeries. Eventually, he laughed weakly and rubbed at his reddened eye. "You pick some dark fuckin' topics to focus on when you're trying to fall asleep, you know. That probably doesn't help things."

"Sorry." Hajime smiled lopsidedly at him. "You mentioning your stomach got me thinking, and… and this sounds really selfish," he admitted. "But it was easier to worry about what you went through. It was something else to think about."

"Easier to think about someone else," Fuyuhiko quietly echoed, and still sounded shaken by picturing whatever hell had happened to Nekomaru Nidai. Maybe, after everything, it felt wrong to worry about themselves. But at least they could still worry about each other.

They sat for another good while in silence, until Fuyuhiko stood abruptly up. "I'm talking about something else," he decided, and surprised Hajime by taking the far side of the bed. "And I'm talking," he repeated emphatically as he stretched out against the mattress.

Hajime let the brighter tone carry him back toward smiling. "We're not outside, now," he pointed out.

Fuyuhiko propped himself up enough to shoot Hajime a disbelieving look. "No, we're not outside, but what kinda fucked-up mood just got set? Anyway, I'm gonna talk, and you're gonna focus on my story and worry about me, until you fall back asleep."

"Okay," Hajime said uncertainly. Worrying about Fuyuhiko didn't sound like a good way to give him a restful night, but it seemed like a plan was in place.

"Kinkaku-ji," Fuyuhiko began. "One of the temples in Kyoto. You know it, right?"

"Never been there, but by name, yeah."

"Well, my parents decided that Natsumi and I needed to appreciate our cultural heritage. Or whatever. They were big on that. So, off we went to Kyoto, to see all the temples and watch all the people."

"And you were…"

"Four." Fuyuhiko laughed once. "So yeah, I didn't give a shit about anything I was seeing. We were at Kinkaku-ji when I started running around to burn off some energy, and fell hard against a stone staircase. Hard. Ripped the skin open down to the kneecap."

Hajime grimaced. "Ow."

"I was probably screaming loud enough to wake the dead. So I get rushed to the nearest hospital, and here's the thing: my parents had always told me not to trust any doctor I didn't know. Because otherwise, someone could dress up like a doctor and shoot you up with something, or convince you to go off with them, y'know?"

"Sure. I guess." That had certainly not been a concern in Hajime's own childhood, but he supposed it made some sense for Fuyuhiko's.

"So anyway, I'm screaming my fucking head off, and then a doctor that I don't know comes in to take a look at me." Fuyuhiko laughed at the memory. The warm, pleasant sound washed over Hajime and he felt himself smiling, too. "And so I grab a tongue depressor and try to stab him with it."

A laugh burst through Hajime's drowsiness. "A tongue depressor? One of those round sticks?"

"Yeah." Fuyuhiko laughed again. "It was handy to grab, but it didn't work very well."

"No kidding."

"So… that meant I just had to keep trying, obviously."

The imagined visual of a barely-out-of-toddlerhood, blood-drenched Fuyuhiko going absolutely ham with a tongue depressor on some bewildered doctor brought actual tears to Hajime's eyes. "Oh my God."

"They had to pin me down," Fuyuhiko proudly added. "And I never had to go back to another temple."

"I seriously don't even know how to respond." Hajime smiled up at the ceiling, noting how the dim light etched shadows around all of its beams and planks. It was good to have something to focus on. His gaze wandered downward, and Hajime sleepily amended: it was good to have someone. "Got any other stories?"

Fuyuhiko looked over to him and smiled, then began a calmer tale. "So I had this dog, once…"

Soon, Hajime realized that he'd missed a couple of words. Then, half of them. His breathing steadied and he slowly sank into calm, deep nothing. Memories stayed blessedly quiet as sleep took him, for the trauma that marked Hajime expected him to be alone.

By morning, the clouds were gone.

[koorinokujira]

Ok this is just an idea, but who do you think would suit the trope s/he (reader) fell first, and s/he fell too late? it's just such an angsty idea i can't comprehend this gosh 😭😭

Oh, such drama! Such angst! But of course, I'll gladly deliver, Anon. Now, this actually made me think pretty hard, because let's be real- most of these people are probably very touch starved, because, you know, war. But I eventually came to the conclusion that it could be a few of our "less approachable/romanceable" leaders. So, our dearest Magoichi, Mitsunari... and honestly, I also decided to include Shingen (not saying he's unapproachable, we love our warlord dad). I chose him because he has great angst potential. So, happy reading! Well... not really happy, but hopefully enjoyable nonetheless.

💔 Too Little, Too Late - SB Imagines 💔

Ever since you met the one you fell so hard for, you felt nothing but affection. Sure, there were flaws, but you were willing to accept them, or try to help fix them if they could be fixed. You were loyal, devoted, and always willing to lend a hand. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, your efforts would be noticed and your love reciprocated. But it wasn't. Not until it was too late... but you aren't the one left to pick up the pieces.

💔 Magoichi 💔

Magoichi was always... fond of you. She didn't even realize it herself for the longest time- after all, relationships weren't exactly her forte. She had the Saika Faction to run, and even when she had time for herself between all those battles and price negotiations, she preferred to remain in solitude. Alone, as she was supposed to be. In her mind, at least.

She found you a bit strange, perhaps. Too good to be true. When she gave an order, you never hesitated and went for it. When she scolded you, you never complained and used it to become an even better soldier. Your skills with a rifle also weren't anything to scoff at. Really, you were a model member of the Faction. Always there, always willing to lend a hand. She appreciated it, as any superior would, though she rarely ever said anything out loud. Actions speak louder than words, after all. And she couldn't play favorites, nor allow herself to be anything but the strong leader everyone needs her to be. She had a legacy to carry.

But now, things are different. It all started innocently enough- she's been getting reports here and there that no one could find you. Of course, you always made sure to have all your tasks completed before sneaking out who knows where. And it happened only every once in a while, so there was no reason to worry. But slowly, it became more and more frequent, to the point where she just had to find out what was going on. Why would you sneak off like that? You were always more than content to spend your free time either alone or with the others- the Saika Faction was like family to you.

She feels your absence most of all, she realizes as she watches you leave from the encampment again, thinking that no one can see. It was like things got... grey, whenever you left. Dull, without that trademark friendly grin you gave her whenever she sent you out to do one thing or another. The way you'd pat your fellow warriors on the back and gave them uplifting words when they needed it. And the way your eyes softened when you talked to her- well, there weren't enough words to describe the feeling.

She hates this, hates this realization. That someone somehow bypassed the walls she built around her heart, and she didn't even notice. And she hates it even more at this moment, because the very reason she plans to follow you now is to check if you're not compromising the Faction somehow. Why else would you sneak off? The chances of you being a spy are small, of course... but never zero, and she owes the Faction at least this much.

Screw it all.

Magoichi makes sure to follow you at a good distance- your senses are not to be scoffed at, of course. You lead her across various paths, through a small forest, over a wooden bridge that's barely stable to walk on, and then... you get to a farm. A village is nearby, too. Everything around it has seen better days, but clearly, the place is still being tended to. There are crops, and Magoichi swears she hears some animals in the distance. But that's not what she focuses on, no.

She focuses on him. The kind looking farmer who looks to be only a bit older than you. You chat and laugh, with you giving him the same look you used to give her once upon a time. And he looks at you the same way. There is a certain... tenderness in the way you move, and the leader of the Saika Faction feels a strange ache in her chest.

You look happy.

And she has to turn away, feeling like a fool for the first time in a long while. Of course she missed all the signs, all the times you passed by her and "accidentally" brushed fingers with her, all the times you made a point to stay nearby after your tasks were finished. She never reciprocated... and so you eventually found someone who cares about you as much as you do about them.

It is a bittersweet feeling, this love. She looks at you one last time before heading back towards the hideout. It hurts badly, to finally let down her guard only to realize it was for nothing. But at the same time... it is strangely reassuring to know that despite her harsh exterior, someone still developed feelings for her, fleeting as they may have been. She knows they were true, this wasn't like that foolish vagabond that pestered her for affection. And she hopes that maybe, just maybe...

...there will be another who will disarm her with such ease. She will be ready this time.

💔 Mitsunari 💔

It's all so... stupid.

The war, the way he has to constantly fight to be respected, the fact that every single day he feels like he loses himself more and more... he hates it. He wants to scream, but how many times did he do that already? How many times did he lose his temper when someone even dared to think of going against him? And where has that gotten him? What was it all for?

Nothing.

If only he had a shoulder to cry on right now. Someone to tell him that all hope is not yet lost. He used to have that. But he took it for granted, and now it's gone. He would like to believe otherwise, of course, but as he stares back at your grave, he is reminded of the painful reality he's found himself in.

He knew these feelings before you died, of course. The deaths of Lord Hideyoshi and Lord Hanbe were more painful than a blade in his heart. The grief and thirst for revenge was what propelled him forward since then. And he'd keep going until he took Tokugawa's head, and everything would be right in the world. It was terrible, painful... but also simple. To him, at least.

But this... this is different. It started with rage, like before, but then it changed into something new. This pain, it's quiet. Instead of a raging tempest, it's a gentle breeze, bringing back the sweet smell of what he once held in his grasp. A soft requiem instead of a battlecry. And somehow, that makes his heart bleed more profusely than anything else before.

It was spring when he first met you, he remembers. He didn't really have time to appreciate the blooming flowers, though. His lord was already dead by that point, and it was all he could think of. And then you showed up, dragging him back to reality by force. You weren't like the others, walking on eggshells as to not upset him even further, no. You fearlessly locked eyes with him, introduced yourself and told him it was an honor to be serving in his army now. He was upset that someone interrupted his moment of quiet, of course, but something compelled him not to unsheathe his blade this time. He still remembers how he just grunted in annoyance and dismissed you without a word. Why even bother?

But you were hard at work, nonetheless. Fighting, doing as you're told, even showing an aptitude for strategy. With each battle won, you rose through the ranks, until he had to see you basically every single day. He would never admit it, but he found your presence refreshing. You were honest - too honest at times - and he never felt like you had some ulterior motive, unlike with a certain someone that acted as his right hand. Terribly stubborn, too; once he showed that he at least tolerates your presence, you refused to leave his side, taking it upon yourself to guard him.

No matter how much he ranted about how he wants to kill Ieyasu, no matter how unfriendly or harsh he was, no matter how much he was falling apart and being a terrible leader, you stuck by. Watching, listening. And more often than not, you had something to say, too. Usually something uplifting. Oh, how he hated you for not letting him wallow in misery back then. How you tried to get him to move on and fight for something else than revenge, that he had potential to even surpass those he missed so dearly. How dare you say such things?

And so he constantly dismissed you, belittled you for your naive hopes for a better tomorrow, for trusting in him so blindly. However, that was just his fear talking. The idea of having hope and it instantly getting shattered by this war, by his enemy, seemed much worse than the pain he was already feeling. He knew that pain, at least.

Mitsunari kept refusing to acknowledge you, despite the mounting feeling in his subconscious that he cared. And before he knew it... you sacrificed yourself. For a wounded brother in arms, despite being wounded yourself. You bought him time and lost all of your own by that deed. He wasn't even there to see it... he just saw your body getting carried into the castle and heard the story from the other soldiers.

Only when he picked up your bloodied blade that day did he realize how much he's really been holding back. He didn't just care, he... he loved. And it wasn't just about the comfort you provided, it was about... well, you. Your smile, the way you'd tap the hilt of your blade whenever you were thinking, the entertaining anecdotes you told him about the time you were still training as a warrior. Oh, and rain, you loved the rain. You'd stand in the middle of the courtyard during thunderstorms with the biggest smile on your face and come inside only after you looked like someone threw you into a lake, shaking with the cold. It makes you feel alive, you told him. Like you can finally breathe.

He kept that blade, using it instead of his own since then. The blade is a warrior's soul, after all. But it doesn't make it much better. He still feels that ache in his chest, even though it's been months. When Lord Hideyoshi died, he could feel angry, he had something to work towards. But there's no Ieyasu Tokugawa to blame this time. Only a battered blade of someone dear, a heart full of regrets and affections unsaid...

...and the flowers he could only place near your headstone now.

💔 Shingen 💔

Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. Not that the Lord of the Takeda clan would know such a phrase. But that doesn't stop him from feeling the crushing weight of its meaning. He's not used to such emotions anymore. When he loses someone, he's sad for a while, and then he moves on. As a leader, he can't afford to dwell on such things. He needs to move forward, lead his clan and help it thrive.

Except this time, he can't seem to shake it off.

And so here he is again, on the battlefield where it began and ended in what seemed like seconds. There's still a few places where grass hasn't really grown back yet after the ordeals of battle, but nature has mostly reclaimed it. There's a soft breeze blowing, and the sky is fairly clear. It's... peaceful. And yet, there's an ache in his heart that not even nature's beauty can cure.

As he sits down into the soft grass, he can't help but think back on the first time you two met. It was thanks to Yukimura, he remembers. You and his young mentee had become friends, and so it didn't take long for you to be dragged over to meet the Lord. Yukimura ranted and raved about how amazing of a fighter you are, while you just politely stood behind him. He remembers how respectful you were the entire time. And it didn't take too long for him to recognize your loyal, honorable ways, either. You were a great soldier.

But there were things he didn't notice fast enough. Like how your clear, formal tone started to soften whenever he discussed strategy with you. How the first thing you did when coming back from battle was to go see him and report personally, even if anyone else could have done it. And that one night when he couldn't sleep and found you in the courtyard, staring wistfully at the stars. You gave him such a kind smile that day, and invited him to join you. So he did. And it was a night that brought great comfort to his weary mind.

Why did he take it for granted?

Time went on, and the day of that fateful battle came. It seemed just like any other that the Takeda clan faced. Armed with both wits and weapons, the troops were ready. Yukimura was getting riled up, while Sasuke dropped his casual attitude and braced himself for the upcoming fight. And you stood proudly right at the front, ready to break through the enemy lines. However, no one expected how wrong it could get.

An ambush. They tore into the left flank, and the situation turned an organized battle into a chaotic bloodbath. There was confusion, screaming, and soldiers were dropping left and right. And as Lord Shingen tried to get a hold of the situation again, he didn't even notice the bow aimed at his back. But you did...

...and the arrow that should have hit him hit you instead.

He won't forget that terrible noise, followed by the thump of your body dropping on the ground. Seconds turned into eternity as he spun around and saw you, clutching the arrow in your chest. He didn't even notice how your fellow soldiers went after the bowman right after as he knelt down. The world seemed to go silent, interrupted only by the sound of you struggling to breathe. There were tears in your eyes and your hands trembled like they never did before. But it wasn't fear of death he saw in your eyes. It was regret.

And then you spoke. It was hard to understand... but he managed. You finally confessed. How much you admired him, and how his very presence made your days brighter. How you loved all his little quirks, and just... everything about him. How much it hurt that you were so close and yet so far. And then you just... apologized and begged him to forgive you for such dishonorable thoughts. But that if you were to die that day, you wanted to die with nothing left unsaid.

He remembers how your hands were still warm when he gently took them into his, realizing with horror that... he didn't want to let you go either. When did you become so important to him, and more importantly, why didn't he realize it sooner?! In his mind, he cursed whatever god made him so oblivious.

But on the outside, he simply shook his head.

"There is nothing to apologize for. I couldn't stop such a feeling even if I wanted to. But I don't. So please... keep it close, until we meet again. And then let me share it."

He still doesn't know how he spoke so calmly. Perhaps he hoped that those tears would stop running down your face, or that the wound in your chest would close with his comforting words. But all he got was a look of relief, before you took a last, shaky breath.

He looks up at the clouds lazily drifting above him, letting the memories flow. He hears birds chirping in the distance, and a white butterfly lands on the nearby flowers.

If only you could enjoy this scenery with him.

---

Whew, finally finished it! Many apologies for the delay. I felt super burnt out because of schoolwork, and these imagines gave me a bit of trouble.

Originally, Motonari was supposed to be here too (so the stories would be two scenarios where the reader lives, and two where they due), but after I wrote almost a 1000 words, I decided I hate it and that I need to practice writing him more before I do any scenarios with him lol. Our cold-hearted tactician will get his spotlight later, don't worry!

I have two more requests lined up right now, so I'll get to work again tomorrow.

Thanks for reading, and as always...

...have a spectacular day!