#and the best we can do is like. learn. think about ourselves and our cognitions

[borderlinereminders]

Examples of Irrational Thoughts/Cognitive Distortions:

These are common errors in thinking. And sometimes these distortions can cause us distress or other strong emotions.

Black and White Thinking: This is all or nothing thinking. For example, if you see yourself as failing at one thing, you think it makes you a failure at everything. "I didn't pass my driver's test. I can't ever do anything right."

Overgeneralization: This is where if one thing happens that is bad, you assume all things will be bad. For example, "I woke up late this morning. This day is doomed to be terrible."

Ignoring the Positive: You disqualify any positive and focus on the negative. Maybe you got an A on a test, but are disregarding that because you messed up somewhere else.

Jumping to Conclusions: You ignore facts in favour of your own interpretations. You may assume your friend hates you despite them inviting you to the movies the day before because they gave you a short response.

Mind Reading: This is making a conclusion about how someone else is feeling. "My friend hates me. I can tell."

Possibilities to Cope with Irrational Thoughts / Cognitive Distortions

Check the Facts: Here’s a post I wrote on this.

Challenging Irrational Thoughts: Here’s a post I wrote about this.

Examine the Evidence: Here’s a post on this.

You’ll likely find that most of these possibilities are very similar. One of the more common ways to deal with thoughts like the above is to use evidence and logic because it gives our brain something solid to use. Just telling ourselves that our thoughts aren’t real isn’t often helpful enough whereas evidence can help make it more convincing.

I’m going to include a couple other links I think may be helpful:

Emotional Permanence: Here’s a post on it. This one I think is important to understand because if we lack emotional permanence then it makes it that much easier to forget about anything other than the feelings in the current moment which make reinforce any negative thoughts.

Needing Reassurance: Sometimes our distorted thoughts lead us to second guessing our loved ones. Here’s a post about that, how to cope with it, and how to get reassurance in a healthy way if needed.

Some General Tips:

Learn about the different types of irrational thinking and cognitive distortions. (I don’t have them all listed). Being able to recognize them can be helpful itself. I find when I’m able to realize it’s a cognitive distortion, I’m able to move beyond it easier.

Keep a list of our accomplishments that you add to. This can be helpful in times we need reminders if we often have thoughts about us being a failure anytime we make a mistake.

Keep screenshots of loved ones and/or lists of things they’ve done that make you feel cared for. This can be helpful if we often have doubting thoughts about loved ones as a result of our cognitive distortions.

Think about what you’d tell a friend. If a friend failed a test, would I think they were a failure?

Sit with the discomfort. Sometimes, we know a thought is irrational and all we can do is get through it. Telling myself “it’s an irrational thought. I can sit with it. I don’t need to act on it” can be helpful. Acting on my feelings to irrational thoughts often damages my relationships or has other negative effects. But as uncomfortable as the thoughts are, learning to just sit with them instead of acting on them prevents some negative consequences.

Journaling. You can journal about your thoughts and feelings for a set amount of time a day and then mark the irrational thoughts. This can help us learn to recognize them when we’re having them.

Focus on something else. Sometimes the thoughts are too distressing and the best thing we can do is distract ourselves. You could reach out to a friend, watch a favourite show, enjoy an activity, etc.

[littlemoonastrology]

Astro Observations: The Moon ☽

The Moon represents aspects of our cognition and emotion: our memory, comfort zones, reactions, the way we feel fulfilled, where we are satisfied, the way we feel connected to others, nurture ourselves and others, and our intuition.

Not only that, but the Moon can also tell us what aspect of our life we need to nurture, watch over and protect in order to grow and how. When we direct this energy in the right area, it becomes easier to express and allows us to feel more fulfilled in life.

When the Moon is satisfied, it is how you know you are on the right path. Follow your dreams and become the person you want to be - the Moon will guide you... just be careful not to become too emotionally tied to things, overprotective, clingy - sometimes the Moon can also signify what you need to let go of in order to become the best version of you.

What you can also do to learn about this, is see where Cancer is in your chart (or see what sign your 4th House falls in, including the Planets inside of it)!

If you are someone with a Cancer Stellium (like me!); nurturing yourself, self improvement, letting go of things that don't serve you, feeling satisfied and comfortable (whilst still reaching your goals), becoming an individual whilst still feeling comfortable with people may be a priority for you. This may also mean you feel highly tied to your Moon placement, so follow it!

To see a brief explanation of what the Moon means in the Houses, see below!

~

Moon in 1st : You feel at your best when you are making the right impression to people, nurture your appearance and projects you find make you the happiest. You are highly intuitive, able to scope out people's intentions quickly (but this may also mean you could be the sort of person to wear your emotions on your sleeve) - be careful not to let people take advantage of you and manipulate you. Let go of those that make you feel bad about yourself, try to make you compromise for things you don't enjoy or always put you on the short end of the stick - put YOU first! You'll find then you can express your individuality a lot easier and move towards what you really enjoy.

Moon in 2nd : When you are investing your time and energy into something you care about it feels very satisfying to you. You enjoy making money and spending it on things that make you happy but for the long-term! (Maybe buying things to further a skill, home decoration maybe!). You are not someone who looks much into the short-term aspects of something - you want something stable you can rely on, trust and really enjoy in your life. Make sure to let go of those who try to sabotage the work you have done if you have a fixed vision of something or if you have strong morals. These kinds of people are not those that will stay in your life and will not invest useful energy into you - so don't spend it on them! Once you're doing that, you will be able to invest a lot more into yourself and your projects!

Moon in 3rd : Communication, growing your intelligence and critical thinking skills are very important to you! You may have a lot of interests/hobbies and enjoy researching/understanding those that give you satisfaction. You are a very curious person, always ready to learn more and grow intellectually. Speaking to people, journaling or engaging in learning about your interests may be a way to help you deal with negative emotions. Let go of people/situations that don't serve your interests and curious nature... and ESPECIALLY let go of people that treat your interests with negativity - you need to be able to learn/communicate and feel comfortable doing so! Once this has been done, you will feel a lot more comfortable with yourself, able to express your interests to a wider range of people.

Moon in 4th : Pay attention to how you feel around your family (or people that feel like family to you) as with this placement it may be pretty easy to get taken advantage of. It's very important you feel nurtured emotionally and secure in whatever setting you're in - you need to feel safe in order for you to grow. You're someone deeply compassionate, maybe with an intense nostalgic quality and get attached to things easily (or you went through a phase like that). When you start to feel unsafe, insecure in your surroundings, like you are being neglected this is how you know you are on the wrong path - maybe this even feels comfortable to you when it shouldn't! Your biggest lesson is to learn to let go, move towards what makes you feel safe and secure - like you can really be yourself and grow into who you want to be.

Moon in 5th : You are someone naturally very expressive and passionate, someone who shares their joy with others and makes others feel good about themselves! Your passions and creative expression are very important to you - they are something you love to share with the world and engage your time in! People or situations that limit this expression, make you feel depressed or make you part of a structure which makes you feel unsafe or unsatisfied should be avoided. You are someone who naturally already wants to commit to your passions and share their desires, learn about them and try new things - a routine may make you feel bored or stagnant. Once you've started avoiding those situations, you'll attract more people around you who want to see what you've been creating/performing!

Moon in 6th : You take care of your health and surroundings very well, maybe also have quite a strong work ethic (or you enjoy staying busy). You are someone who feels satisfied when developing your skills or when you feel capable in doing something, whether that be for people or yourself. If you start to feel like you are being taken advantage of, are confused with what someone wants exactly (maybe through manipulation) or when you start to doubt yourself, it can cause some serious sense of insecurity within you. Avoid vague situations and communicate as directly as possible - don't let people take advantage or be emotionally manipulative towards you to gain something. This will allow you to feel more confident in yourself, meaning you are able to set better boundaries so you can continue developing yourself and your skills to provide for those around you! You are capable, be careful not to burn yourself out!

Moon in 7th : You feel the most satisfied when you are around those you love and feel close to. You may have a reputation for being very kind or emotionally involved in your relationships, often giving as much as possible to your partner without much of a second thought - it makes you happy! Sometimes though, the people you meet may be pretty self serving and only really care about themselves and don't pay any attention to your feelings. This can make you feel alone, dissatisfied, neglected and is something you should avoid at all costs. You deserve to be loved and cared for just as much as anyone else - your needs matter too! Once you've started avoiding situations such as this - where you're giving and giving and not receiving (like a one-sided relationship, pay attention to rewards you receive too) and not getting any respect, you'll notice you start to become more assertive in yourself, able to stand up for what you want and deserve!

Moon in 8th : When you trust someone, you trust HARD or you find you can become pretty selfless to people who you are close to. This is someone very loyal, protective and would do anything to make sure their loved ones are okay! Vulnerability isn't easy depending on the sign, but when you become emotionally attached to someone - you get ATTACHED! However, be careful and avoid those who seek to use you for their gain whatever that may be (or they want you to give more than you can give). This can make you feel used, manipulated, unwanted - maybe even scared and you start to develop trust issues. You deserve someone who cares about your emotions and would be as loyal as you are to them, someone who can relate to you, someone you can really trust. Once you start avoiding those who make you feel used, you'll notice your mood drastically shifting and you start to become more open to new experiences, open to trusting.

Moon in 9th : You may be someone who really enjoys travelling, trying new foods, maybe some kind of introspection or academics - anything to quench your curiosity and excitement! You need to be able to explore all the different aspects of life and follow what you know will make you happiest - whether its a moral or an ambition, it gives you a deep sense of purpose most likely which is very satisfying for you. A major stressor may be those who seem not to care about what YOU want to do or are closed-minded to your opinions, let go of them! They don't serve you. You deserve to live the life you want to live without others telling you what to do and how to do it. You'll notice when you start to let these situations go, you become more open and committed goals you actually want to pursue even if it means you won't stick with it forever!

Moon in 10th : Ambitious is the perfect word to describe you! You may be quite career-oriented, or someone that directs their time to their own goals a lot of the time. You enjoy staying productive, working your way up something to be the best you can be and gain a lot of satisfaction from self-improvement possibly. Situations/people which make you feel stagnant, stuck in your comfort zone, like you can't actually progress in life should definitely be avoided. You're allowed to work on your own ambitions, don't let people sabotage them (especially family). You really want to be able to commit and dedicate yourself to something you genuinely want to do - so once you've started avoiding unhealthy situations which make you feel stuck and unworthy, you'll notice you feel a lot more motivated. Maybe your goals will become even clearer to you! Don't lose sight of what's important to you.

Moon in 11th : Your friend groups and ideologies are very very important to you and bring you a lot of happiness. Spending time with people that make you feel good, like you can relate to them and appreciate you for who you are is very satisfying - maybe you are in a few different friend groups and just enjoy meeting new people! However, it may be pretty easy to get caught up in situations or with people that make you feel inferior, excluded - or maybe this is something you are sensitive to. Avoid those who spend too much time talking about themselves - you're just as interesting and important as them! You have valid things to say! Once you stop worrying what those think of you and your opinions out of fear of being excluded or inferior or weird, you'll notice you start to build a friendship group that is just right for you. It will help you grow and feel nurtured, like you can express yourself properly.

Moon in 12th : You feel the most satisfied and nurtured when you are at peace, it's possible you do a lot of inner work or enjoy spending time on your own - sitting with your thoughts and feelings. Maybe you are even quite artistic, anything which allows you to feel more stable and settled, like you can grow in the way you want to. When people want to set very strict schedules on you, force you to a work ethic you don't want to be a part of it can be very stressful for you and is something you should let go of. Your emotional life deserves to be treated with respect - you deserve to feel at peace. Once you start to let go of these situations, you will notice you start to feel less anxious and more authentic to who you are - follow what gives you the deepest sense of peace and satisfaction.

~

Check out my Masterlist and Ko-Fi!

Currently selling:

Career Readings

Love Readings

Natal Chart Readings

Big 3 Readings

Synastry Chart Readings

Contact me if you're interested and want to know more (or if you have any concerns)!

Take Care!

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, I came across this page and I very much enjoy it and love it here.          

I will keep it short. I just want to share this little problem of mine. First of all, I am a 19 old INFJ (not very sure about it but its for another post). I am an overthinker, who worries about the smallest things. ‘What will this person think if I do this’ ‘what will this person feel if I said that’, so I am very cautious and careful about my actions and think a lot before doing anything. I have just come to realize that I feel guilty even about the smallest things, even for things that happened a long time ago, I just remember them and I feel a tinge of sadness thinking about them. I will share some of them here.

I remember somewhere in primary school between grade 1 to 3, I had an assignment to make skeletons from paper and pins. My mother did the assignment for me, and I think that she took time and effort to make it. Once I presented it and was done, I had this urge to destroy it and I acted on my impulse. Immediately after I felt really bad. I knew that it was going to be thrown nevertheless, but being destroyed like that  I felt I was undermining my mother’s effort and it was not the best feelings, I know it is a bit dramatic but I was little at that time.

Another incident, a long time ago too, my sister drew a girl and then out of fun I drew ribs on the girl, like she was skeleton then I felt bad and said why did I do that. Although my sister didn’t mind it much.  

Again, when I was around 9, my sister and I wanted to watch Frozen (separately), and we searched the net to find a website to watch, she searched in her iPad and I gave mine to our father to search for me. After a long time, my father came to me excited that he found and downloaded the movie for me but not in English in our mother language and I complained that I wanted it in English, then my sister said that she found a website in English, and I decided to watch with her. I felt really bad because my father wanted to find me something, but I didn’t take what he gave me. This incident really makes me feel bad till now when I think about it haha.     

This is trivial and doesn’t involve me, but I felt a little bad. We bought a PlayStation and me and my sister made two accounts for ourselves and had password on them. One time we saw that the gear was misplaced and the PlayStation open, but no one played it. We realized that my brother came when we weren’t around and wanted to play, but he didn’t know the password and wasn’t able to play and went. I felt a little bad for him and thought if we didn’t put password on the accounts.                                                                     

I don't know if this is normal or if I am an overthinker. Maybe this is the reason why I am careful before doing something now. If this is a problem what are some tips to self-improve in this situation.

-----------------------

Feelings and emotions are necessary for learning and growth. The key is to extract the right lessons from them and then you can lay them to rest in a healthy way (i.e. establish resolution or closure). If a situation continues to plague you, it means you haven't learned the right lesson from it or haven't learned it well enough yet. Guilt is meant to teach you important lessons about how to make better moral decisions. The situations you described all had problematic moral elements to them. Have you learned the right moral lessons from your past?

That being said, there is another important point to address. One of the major development pitfalls for INFJs is excessive or irrational guilt. Usually, it is due to wildly unrealistic thinking (unhealthy Ni) and/or taking on far more moral responsibility than is reasonable for one person to shoulder (unhealthy Fe). When INFJs aren't able to make sense of their guilt, it is easy for them to fall into Ti loop, which might manifest as rumination or "overthinking". These errors in cognition can be addressed through function development, see past INFJ posts.

[thehumanexperience8b]

March 11th, 2024: Different Perspectives

We have something inside us that makes us stubborn about hearing other people’s opinions especially if we’re headstrong about our own. People do not want to be wrong. I fall victim to this sometimes, but I try to catch myself, put aside my preconceived opinions about things and learn from first hand experience. As of late, I came across a video on YouTube from a man I recognized, but I couldn’t place the name. When I looked in the description, I realized this was one of those infamous raw meat diet men that claimed vegetables are toxic. I don’t really know about that, although I’d love to see where that came from!! But I didn’t come to watch this video he posted about the carnivore diet, I came to see what secret ingredients in McDonald's food I didn’t know about! When I watched the video everything he talked about was simple, and a lot of things I already knew, facts about seed oils, trans fats, chemicals, all the things that make fast food so appetizing to some, but disgusting to others. At the end of the day, the video was still valuable despite his history of some odd claims about plants. Society has a big problem right now about learning something about a person or thing and making judgements about someone. Although I don’t like using the term “humble,” though sometimes we do need to take a step back and humble ourselves. We’re all human, and we jump to conclusions about a lot of things. But having understanding and trust is an essential building block for a happy life. There’s no problem with having strong beliefs, but make sure you’re making informed choices and using critical thinking skills before shaming someone else. We see this many times over and over again in today’s political climate. Because of the two party system, once you pick one side you automatically have a cognitive bias against the other. What’s interesting is that both major parties have a lot more in common than they’d like to admit. But this entry isn’t about politics. So what can you do to have a better understanding of someone, or things in general? Well, if it’s a person you can obviously spend some more time around them, learn what they really think, how they act, what kind of energy they emit. For certain topics, and this is a great skill for understanding people, is that you need to believe most people are working “for the light.” They all think they’re making reasonable choices that will do something good in the long run. I’ve never actually met someone who’s unreasonable, or irrational. To be irrational is to lack substance or thought, but isn’t the labeling of someone as “irrational” just as thought-less? Maybe this person is being counter-intuitive or very against your own beliefs but that doesn’t mean they are without reason in some way. I pity the person who cannot see that their “rational” is seen just as irrational to the other. These types of people are one in the same. So come forth!!!! Please let the world see that we’re all trying our best to do what is right in our eyes. Now if we all understand each other, and if we hear each criticism from each other and share our thoughts, we can evolve to create a super-idea that could be fool-proof in really changing the course of humanity!!! True understanding is the next step!

“There's a light we share between us, when your Heart's an open door. When we care for one another. We won't have to look for Heaven anymore.” -Heaven. The Orion Experience

[the-hem]

"The Extras." From the Atma Upanishad, "The Exploration of the Mysteries of the Peculiarities of the Self."

The next section covers what happens when we even “extras” called adjuncts to star in the spiritual drama all of us are involved in. I have stated before but beings like Jesus, Shiva, Allah, etc. are all words we use to explain states of being sponsored by the Supreme Being who is otherwise invisible, formless, tasteless, intangible, but is nonetheless fully present.

Nothing we do or say  can change this. The wise are willing to allow God to be just as He is. The greatest achievement of mankind is the ability to be just as the Self but first we must know who God is and what He has made us a collective and also an individual being:

II-21. All adjuncts having perished, being Brahman he is assimilated to the non-dual Brahman, like a man who, with (appropriate) apparels, is an actor and without them (resumes his natural state),

II-22(a). In the same way the best of Brahman-Knowers is always Brahman alone and none else. II-22(b)-23. Just as space becomes space itself when the (enclosing) pot perishes, so, when particular cognitions are dissolved, the Brahman-Knower himself becomes nothing but Brahman, as milk poured into milk, oil into oil, and water into water become (milk, oil and water).

II-24(a). Just as, combined, they become one, so does the Atman[1]knowing sage in the Atman.

II-24(b). Thus disembodied liberation is the infinite status of Being.

II-25. Having won the status of Brahman, no longer is the Yogin reborn, for his ignorance-born bodies have all been consumed by the experimental knowledge of Being as the Self.

Just as the stories tell us there is a man in a white robe in heaven and He has a Dad with a milk white flowing beard, the stories we tell ourselves make us think things about oneself. The objective of the study of the Vedas and the Upanishads is to learn what is intangible but present about the Self without adjunct just as one endeavors to remind oneself about the Supreme.

Undereducated and unsophisticated persons will say if we take it on faith that the weird words in a book are positvely absolutely real, then there should be some way to verify the truth in their words at some point. The thing we can really have faith is the statement of faith, "There is One God the maker of heaven and earth and there is no other."

We know for sure He is there and He is steady and is interested in helping us. Understanding of this solitary Being is the only to have faith and get rid of the adjuncts who cloud our minds and obscure the Self.

[newagesurvivalist]

The test of time

We are running out of time, in the sense that we are running against time: life doesn't provide any answers, and we are constantly completely flabbergasted, but there will be deliverance; in fact, the movement into the endless unknown will give us a kind of holy resolve, and this is verily the best we can make of the kind of things that suppress us in every regard, and make us feel significant. Nevertheless, we have to prove ourselves. The literacy we are seeking lies in the development of skills and the growth of our character - but these things never stop in there consistency, why, it is a continual struggle. We are running out of space. But we are situated in an infinite world with sublime borders, that expands in every direction. And in that sense, we have plenty of time, we just don't have any common sense, or rather, we don't recoil properly at the sight of tremendous abysses of revolution. The superb manliness of action is limited by the excesses of tropology, because we do not see the contours of the bigger world, which is just a noise in the chaos of life, but we see that a man can achieve stature and composure in his self-discipline. However, his ultimate objective is to set forth doctrines that have practical purposes, yet at the same time contain a figment of liminality in which the essence of logic lies - verily, he just needs to contain his vigour, and move elegantly from simple truths to complex discourses, which nevertheless are meaningful in their simple demonstration of the facts.

Maybe this is all absurd, but a man can certainly recover his manifold trajectory if he just fights against the psychological (demoralizing) influence of big cats who survive only in the darknesses of our minds and have no quarters in the ship of state, but it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what we ought to do.

Every man must play his part. If he acts, can he still meditate? Man must ever so often sacrifice his happiness for comfort; or, in a tight spot, admit that he knows nothing. These are the horrendous affects of his Earthly existence - and all he can do, to make do, is to put his hopes in animal instincts, even though that will mean wretchedness. A man can live life on his hacienda, looking here and there for Christ, but never really live: or, he can be the most fine and logical artist there ever was, yet no, at any point, achieve structured thought, become full-cast in the Lord. This is why we need language. The stateliness of language is such, that it can actually improve us even in the most isolated locales, and we'll marvel and worship the colossal miracles of sheer Godhood, yet persist in trying to go forth into Spanish country, where we hope to deliver ourselves from slavery and sin: this is excellence.

What we should actually refer to as, no existence, but actually the things, or rather, the affairs? Just referring to it as stuff seems wrong - for stuff is about matters, just like forms refer to ideas. We see it truly, as a constellation, a collection of wiry dots, but that is not a cognition, that is a metaphore. We see, that Schopenhauer's word objectity comes awfully close, but that can never transcend true objectivity, and is actually a weakness in his system. What then? Let's re-examine the old caesarian word entity: that which is. To think about the world in a truly philosophical way, we need this word, for entity is the borderline of cognition and metaphysics. I think, therefore I am. Imagination is more important than knowledge. We cannot see beyond what we believe, but true genius is possible in, indeed, learning the principle of an exercise and reflecting on the immortal Logos (and its little brother, jest). Einstein spoke of the joy of understanding; so likewise we may speak of the exhiliration of wisdom, because we truly become greater and great by getting by in the impossible world of entities.

Certainly, whatever we seek to see in this context is invisible, since in time and space there are certainly no correspondences to any higher truth, and natural processes of recovery (of sanity, of prudence) are inscrutable as well, and nobody really appreciates their vagueness.

In truth, the constellations of okayness are prepared in this constant sense, that people do what they do, but never achieve, the revolution of sense-meaning. Data, or the corroboration of facts, is informal, and the variety of spontaneous villainy is superb in this total sense, that we do not achieve peace of mind in this entire, swirling mass that we may refer to as resurrection. But happy nonsense is certainly not our aim. In every way, our purpose is above all to recover the meaning of life in some direct way, and remain on point somehow, to value syntagmatic revelations and rebirths in the watchfulness of debilitating figures of speech and conundrums, that we still find in combat and pottering, so that, in fact, our entire artistanry is based on developing wise skills and keeping up with the changes in life and space and time, but this is not the discrepancy we really need, why, it is a continuous crashing of capabilities that confirm our mysterious desire to be as happy as we can be - but there is truly no return to the way we were, it is a symbolic etymological journey that has no bearing on the contours of space and time that we find in physical and metaphysical speculations, but this is a constant sensibility and people will ultimately recover there happiness in this misery, which is just the gladness of mind that is found in rebellion and upstart reminicence in which we hide and hope to find capability. But verily, existence has a meaning in the last analysis, and this redundancy will not be eked out of the norms of yesteryear, in which there are still reverberations of the better kind: but our life is still stuck somehow in a stupidity that is actually just a very relaxed kind of confession, and we are sworn in in the courts of the magistrates who still hope to make ordinary life work for the best of us, who still work tirelessly to spread the Gospel and so on and so forth, even though the basis of kindness and life is always covered in a deep place somewhere away from the civility of life and time. So what we really see is that we are extense. The mobility of privacy is so that the deflated hopes of philosophy do still live outside of the academy, and our purpose is really to rally ourselves in, what should be called a new science. And this is perhaps the science of reason, but I daresay it is more like the science of replique.

[yuvaap]

Is Fresh Food for Dogs Worth the Hype?

Have you ever wondered if feeding fresh food to your dog is really worth it? We’ve all heard how fresh, whole foods can improve our health, but what about our furry friends? As pet owners, we want to make the best choices for our dogs, but sometimes it feels overwhelming. Fresh food sounds great, but is it too expensive? Will it take too much time to prepare? And how do we know if it’s really better than commercial dog food?

Why Consider Fresh Food for Your Dog?

Many of us have already made the switch from fast food to fresh, wholesome meals for ourselves. We see the benefits: more energy, better digestion, and overall improved health. But our dogs have been eating the same kibble for years. You might be thinking, “Isn’t commercial dog food good enough?” Let’s explore why fresh food could be a game-changer for your dog’s health.

The Drawbacks of Commercial Dog Food

Commercial dog food is convenient, but it’s not always the best choice for your dog’s health. Most kibble is cooked at high temperatures, which destroys many of the nutrients your dog needs. These foods often contain preservatives, artificial chemicals, and low-quality meat by-products. Even organic varieties can lack essential nutrients due to the processing methods used.

Imagine if you ate nothing but French fries and chips every day. You’d survive, but you wouldn’t thrive. The same goes for your dog. Processed food might keep them alive, but it won’t help them reach their full potential.

10 Reasons to Switch to Fresh Food

1. Prevent Diseases: Fresh food is rich in high-quality protein and antioxidants that boost your dog’s immune system, helping prevent diseases. Studies show that dogs fed leafy and yellow vegetables are less likely to develop urinary bladder carcinomas.

2. Improve Digestion: Fresh fruits and vegetables provide essential nutrients that support healthy digestion. Foods like yogurt and wheatgrass can detoxify your dog’s system and regulate bowel movements.

3. Manage Weight: Fresh food, high in nutrients and fiber, helps your dog feel full without consuming too many calories, reducing the risk of weight gain and related ailments.

4. Enhance Cognitive Function: Antioxidant-rich fresh food supports brain health, making your dog smarter and more alert.

5. Increase Lifespan: Dogs fed fresh food live longer. One study showed they lived an average of 13.1 years compared to 10.4 years for dogs fed processed food.

6. Strengthen Bones: Foods rich in calcium and phosphorus, like chicken bones, carrots, and quinoa, support strong bones and overall health.

7. Improve Coat Quality: Fresh food with zinc and essential fatty acids can make your dog’s coat shinier and healthier, reducing itching and skin problems.

8. Reduce Vet Visits: A nutritious diet strengthens your dog’s immune system, leading to fewer trips to the vet.

9. Boost Energy Levels: Fresh, easily digestible food provides the energy your dog needs to stay active and playful.

10. Peace of Mind: Knowing you’re feeding your dog the best possible diet gives you peace of mind, knowing you’re supporting their long-term health and happiness.

Make the Switch Today

Transitioning to fresh food might seem daunting, but the benefits far outweigh the challenges. You’ll see improvements in your dog’s health, energy, and overall well-being. Plus, fewer vet visits mean you could save money in the long run.

Ready to learn more about how fresh food can transform your dog’s health? Visit Yuvaap for more tips, recipes, and expert advice on making the switch to fresh food for your beloved pet. Your dog deserves the best, and so do you!

[jim-fetter-illustrations]

Consciousness is the railroad tracks for train of thought!

Sometimes I lose my train of thought and wander over to areas i had not originally anticipated going.

My Art and illustration projects rarely turn out as originally thought out, and somewhere in the midst of painting fish, all-of-a-sudden I draw a cat licking it's butt, and don't have a clue as to why, but then there ya go, I'm an artist and a right brained cognative creature prone to wandering off to who-knows-where, Lol

Ya see,....losing one's train of thought can happen to anyone at any time due to a variety of environmental factors, and it don't mean your schizophrenic,........ it usually means your a Right Brained person, ....... which by the way most psychotherapists say is poppycock and a Myth.............

But then so is all religion on earth said to be a Myth and most of the earth's people believe the myth wholeheartedly,......... so there ya go, and "who knows" is the gist of it.

This left and right brain hemisphere thing was discovered back in the 1950's by various Psychologists not really looking for what they found that discovered that human beings are of two minds. They found that the human brain has specialized functions on the right and left, and that the two sides can operate practically independently,..... only cooperating together through consciousness.

Over the decades no one could scientifically figure out how that is to be, that the two sides of the brain could operate independently. ,.. so today most define the left and right brain thing as a myth yet undiscovered,.......... the same way we do the God theory.

It's what we human beings do when we don't know or can't figure out how things work,... we mythicize them.

That being said, through change we can teach ourselves to adapt and help ourselves to develop resilience!

But only if we understand that our own capacity for growth and learning 'does make us better', because THEN we have learned how to turn an unfavorable situation like losing our train of thought, and coming up with some new train of thought that could result in a better humanitarian world for all of us.

Let Consciousness be your guide, because you know best about yourself,... you just don't know it yet, but you can, and will with meditation.

........... and I'm not talking the wisdom of a mountaintop guru here, just a few minutes before you go to sleep usually does it thinking positive thoughts and that YOU ARE A GOD yourself,... and can do anything you cognitively think of............

You may not be drawing cats licking their butts like I have, but you might be living a whole better life mentally speaking,.... and being mentally fit means your also physically fit to accept most of life's challenges.

Jus an observation.

[lipsticksamurai]

Cognitive Distortions

A basic principle of every non-pharmaceutical treatment for depression and anxiety involves putting some distance between oneself and one’s emotions. Psychodynamic therapy, mindfulness, meditation, and exercise, to name a few, create space between us and what is running through our heads. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), one of the most widely studied interventions, teaches patients to identify and challenge faulty habitual thinking patterns, known as cognitive distortions, such as all-or-nothing thinking and emotional reasoning.

Feelings Are Real But They Might Not Be True

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy entails learning that thoughts are not always a reflection of reality. Just because we feel a certain way does not necessarily make it true. Put simply: Feelings are real but they might not be true. This is not gaslighting . This is Psychology 101.

The Hallway Snubber

Our beliefs, and the feelings that they give rise to, impact how we interpret a situation as well as our subsequent behavior. Imagine passing someone in the hallway who doesn’t say hello. You might assume that they dislike you and this hurts your feelings. As a result, you decide the person is unfriendly and avoid future interactions with them. You ask yourself, “Why bother making an effort with someone like that?” You might even tell yourself that the person is toxic and undeserving of your goodwill.

“What Else Could Be Going On Here?”

Maybe the hallway snubber has a deadline to meet. Maybe they were up late last night with a sick child. Maybe they just didn’t sleep well. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy teaches us to consider other possibilities—indeed it may be that the person dislikes you but there are other explanations as well.

Cognitive Fusion: Our Reality Is Fused With Our Emotions

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a close cousin of cognitive behavioral therapy, offers some useful data-driven strategies to detangle ourselves from our thoughts and feelings. Most of the time, we live in a state of cognitive fusion, fully believing our thoughts and feelings without giving a second thought. Put simply, our reality is fused with our emotions. These De-fusion Exercises as they are known, create some space and perspective.

Defusion Exercise #1: The Running Sushi

Picture your thoughts as the many small plates on a conveyor belt in a sushi restaurant. All the dishes pass by one after another, the same way your thoughts appear and go away one after another. You can choose to reach for the plates of sushi (thoughts) or let them pass by. If they reappear later, you still don’t have to grab them.

Defusion Exercise #2: The Fish Hook

Thoughts are like fish hooks, and you are a fish swimming around in the water. You can’t control how many fish hooks you come by, but you can decide whether you swim past them or take the bait. It is impossible to avoid some thoughts as you go through life, and sometimes, you will take the bait. But you can still choose to unhook yourself and swim past the hooks.

Defusion Exercise #3: Clouds In The Sky

Thoughts are like clouds in the sky. They come and go, and there is nothing you can do to influence them. Trying to push them away or worry about them is not necessary or helpful. The best thing is to let clouds occupy their own space and allow them to float by. Try doing the same thing to your negative thoughts and feelings.

Defusion Exercise #4: Passengers On The Bus

Imagine yourself driving a bus. Treat difficult thoughts as rowdy, annoying passengers. See if you can keep driving, rather than stopping when they want or trying to kick them off. Can you stay focused on driving your bus safely to your destination?

Defusion Exercise #5: Thought Trains

Imagine your anxious thoughts are like trains arriving at a railway station. Rather than climbing on board, stay on the platform, and watch the trains go by.

Defusion Exercise #6: Watch Yourself Or, Put On Goggles

To defuse a negative thought such as “I am a failure,” say instead, “I’m having the thought that I am a failure.” To defuse it even more, add, “I notice I am having the thought that I am a failure.” Think of this exercise as the equivalent of putting on goggles when swimming in the sea. The result is less blur and more clarity.

[mosesdumpin]

I really wanted to be a misanthropic little shit. I tried to be a cynic. None of it could last very long. I can't assume the world has fallen ill to evil and the default stance of humanity is malice. I wanted to think like this because I have been mistreated, unloved, damaged, and victimized. I was abandoned and felt a gaping maw where I was told love would be. Telling my stories, explaining my emotions, and sharing my history should enable my turn into heavy-lidded nihilism. But I just love humans so fucking much.

In fact, one of the primary overwhelming and positive emotions I have felt lately have been a deep appreciation of humanity as a whole. I want to be clear, I am not claiming this as a version of inherent compassion or empathy. It is the result of the lack of socialization, hyper-fixations, and nosiness. I was/am a know-it-all little shithead whose entire ego is wrapped up in what I know or do not know. And a subject that requires a steady, risky, years-long, and ongoing study in order to even vaguely understand is Other People. From social behaviors to being introspectively aware its not something you learn from articles or science journals. Sure, you can get the gist or memorize the outline of it all, but the reason this subject (other humans) is so difficult is because, like a rudimentary mirror of quantum mechanics, it is fundamentally altered at every step through the sheer existence of yourself. Knowing yourself should be easy, but it is not for the same reason its difficult to know others. Yourself is fundamentally altered at every step through the sheer existence of literally anyone else. Our identities and selves are feedback loops who are constantly trying to give structure to a dynamic system unfathomably larger than ourselves - like how we choose to draw a wave in the ocean. I sometimes go on a kick watching dance crews and choreography. This is happening more since I got into XG since I find their performance captivating and tends to trigger this urge. This usually always ends in me sobbing; rocking back and forth with the famously ugly cry face as if I've lost a loved one. In reality, I'm overwhelmed with awe and joy at how fundamentally Human dancing and music is. It isn't so much like crying at something beautiful as it is succumbing to the sheer weight of something too huge for me to ever understand. That isn't to say it isn't a GOOD emotion. Its one of my favorite emotions. I know we like to do the whole "blue speck in an infinite universe" thing but to me its like being a flea on a rat musing about the unfathomable scale of New York City when we can only barely conceptualize the rat we are standing on. Humanity taking the accidentally evolved (redundant phrasing, just assume I mean it for emphasis) survival trait of pattern recognition and remixing it with digital (as in, fingers and such) dexterity to create music and THEN remix it again within the boundaries of the bodily dexterity/flexibility we lost when becoming bipedal... while syncing the best of what we have gained with what we have lost to express something we perceive as infinite - cognition and emotion. Above all, since pre-history and pre-pre-history, likely since our pattern seeking behaviors honed to its slightest edge, we did this despite it offering only token or deeply indirect assistance to survival or production. You can argue its a social behavior (which is true) and helps all of our social ties in some way but honestly, have you danced alone before? Have you felt that joy, that eruption of movement to music or excitement? Have you felt joy or peace when you've hit the right note at the right time when you aren't even trying to play a specific song or piece? Sure, this is social, our brains reward us for refining a social behavior blah blah. Honestly I think every time we sing, play a song, create music, dance, tap our feet, bang our heads, move in sync, shake, jump, exult, and CREATE we are riding the resonance of humanity like the surface tension of a rock being skipped across a vast, unimaginable ocean of ourself. This idea is my Eldritch God, my Seraphim, my Infinitely Expanding Universe, and the Face of God. I cower before the knowledge of how small and weak I am compared to it, but I can exult that I am an aspect of it, like a single pixel in a digital photo whose dimensions are so large I can only define it as infinity.

[sinabarimd]

The Technologic Singularity: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love AI

Are you ready for the future? A future where machines can think and create faster than humans? A future where artificial intelligence surpasses human intelligence and transforms society in ways we can't imagine? A future where we may witness the technological singularity?

The technological singularity is a hypothetical point in time when technological growth becomes uncontrollable and irreversible, leading to unforeseeable changes to human civilization. Some experts predict that this could happen by 2045, while others say it could happen even sooner. But what does it mean for us as humans? How will we cope with such a radical shift in our world?

To find out more, I spoke with Dr. Sina Bari MD, a Stanford-trained reconstructive surgeon who left his medical career to work in the field of artificial intelligence. He is currently the Senior Director of Medical AI at iMerit Technology, a company that provides high-quality training data for machine learning applications .

Dr. Bari shared his insights on the potential benefits and challenges of the singularity, as well as his advice on how to prepare for it.

"First of all, I think we should embrace the singularity as an opportunity rather than a threat," he said. "Artificial intelligence has already made tremendous advances in fields like healthcare, education, entertainment, and more. Imagine what it could do if it reached human-level intelligence or beyond. It could solve some of the biggest problems facing humanity, such as poverty, disease, climate change, and war."

He added that artificial intelligence could also enhance our own capabilities and experiences as humans.

"Artificial intelligence could augment our senses, our cognition, our creativity, and our emotions. It could help us discover new things about ourselves and the world around us. It could enable us to connect with each other in deeper and more meaningful ways."

However, he also acknowledged that there are some risks and uncertainties associated with the singularity.

"The singularity poses some ethical, social, and existential questions that we need to address before it happens," he said. "For example: How do we ensure that artificial intelligence aligns with our values and goals? How do we protect our privacy and security in a world where everything is connected? How do we maintain our identity and dignity as humans in relation to superintelligent machines?"

He suggested that we need to develop a framework of principles and regulations that can guide the development and use of artificial intelligence.

"We need to have a dialogue among stakeholders from different sectors: scientists, engineers, policymakers, lawyers, philosophers, artists, and of course, the public. We need to establish a common vision and a shared responsibility for the future of artificial intelligence. We need

to ensure that it serves humanity's best interests."

Finally, he offered some tips on how to prepare for the singularity on a personal level.

"I think we should keep learning new skills and knowledge throughout our lives," he said. "Artificial intelligence will change many aspects of our work and society, so we need to be adaptable and resilient. We should also cultivate our curiosity and creativity, as these are qualities that distinguish us from machines. And most importantly, we should cherish our human relationships, as they are the source of our happiness and meaning."

He concluded by saying that he is optimistic about the singularity,

"I believe that artificial intelligence can be a force for good if we use it wisely," he said. "I think that together with machines, we can create a better world for ourselves and future generations."

[lovehealgrow]

What Is Black-and-White Thinking?

Black-and-white thinking, also known as polarized or dichotomous thinking, is a manner of thinking that relies on extremes. In other words, rather than viewing the world around you as complex and nuanced, you see it as one thing or another.

Black-and-white thinking is considered a cognitive distortion because it can prevent people from seeing themselves, the world around them, and their relationships realistically and instead sort them into two categories (typically “good” and “bad”) with no in-between.

What Does Black and White Thinking Look Like

More accurately, what does this type of polarized thinking sound like? After all, we’re more concerned with that voice in our head saying something is always or never the case.

So, what words can typically come with this type of thinking? If you find yourself constantly thinking these words, you may be struggling with polarized thoughts.

Never

Impossible

Always

Ruined

Perfect

How Black and White Thinking Affects Us

There are a number of ways that black-and-white thinking can harm our thinking. Some of these negative effects are more internal — how we think about ourselves — and some are more external. Here are four of the most prominent effects that black-and-white thinking can have on us when left unaddressed.

Impacts Relationships

Relationships are complicated and typically have their ups and downs. Individuals who view the world in a polarized light can find these normal ups and downs to completely change a relationship. One day your partner may be the best person on the planet, and the next, they may be the worst.

A constantly changing dichotomous view of your loved ones can affect your ability to connect and communicate with them. This can harm your ability to truly see them as the complex human beings that they are, which means that you are unable to accept and understand them on a deeper level — resulting in stunted relationships and connections.

Lowers Self-Esteem

We all want to be “good” people. But, if we get too caught up in labeling actions, desires, and qualities as “good” and “bad,” we can get stuck in a particular image of what this really means. Dichotomous thinking can make accepting ourselves as complicated and challenging, and we may end up feeling bad about ourselves because we do not fit the standard for a “good” person that we have in our minds.

This type of thinking may also make you extremely sensitive to other people’s opinions and harm your ability to accept criticism and grow as a person.

Holds You Back From Success

Because dichotomous thinking relies on absolutes, you may find yourself limiting what you feel you can and can’t do. Tell us if this example sounds familiar to you. You can’t quite understand the problems on your math homework after hours of trying, so you think, ‘well, I’m just bad at math.’ This thought arises from a success vs. failure mindset and comes up because you were unable to solve the problems on your homework. But this one instance does not mean that you are bad at math. All it means is that you may not have grasped this particular concept quite enough to handle the problems you were given. Unfortunately, you have now decided that math isn’t your thing, and you no longer have as much of an interest in learning it in class. So, you continue to pay less attention in your math classes and perpetuate the thought that math just isn’t your thing rather than opening up to the possibility of learning more.

This same process can happen outside of school too. Maybe you have extremely set thoughts of what your role in your job is and what role your co-workers play. Maybe you are ‘not an artistic person,’ and you never take that ceramics class that you always wanted to because you ‘wouldn’t be good at it.’

Disrupts Healthy Habits

We’ve all been in a situation where we have developed a healthy habit, but upon not seeing the changes we were hoping for in our lives, we dropped the habit because it was not working. This could apply to nutritious eating habits, sleep habits, exercise habits, and even mindfulness or self-care habits.

One area where dichotomous thinking is very pronounced is eating habits. This thinking is linked to a number of eating disorders where people look at and label foods as either “good” or “bad” and eat in cycles — like binging and purging or all-or-nothing diets.

The Link to Anxiety and Depression

There is a surprising link between black-and-white thinking and mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. Many studies have found that individuals who have these disorders tend to use more polarizing or “absolutist” language than individuals who do not suffer from these disorders.

This type of thinking can leave us constantly belittling ourselves or others, which can be devastating if you are already suffering from mental health disorders like anxiety or depression. When we think in absolutes, we allow no space for change or progress, which can lead to rumination and worsen feelings of anxiety or depression.

How to Overcome This Manner of Thinking

Not everyone has a tendency to think in absolutes, but if you do, you may be wondering what you can do to overcome it. Black-and-white thinking can make life hard for you both in your professional and personal life, so it is important to address it as early as you can.

Here are some tips to help you overcome black-and-white thinking in your life.

Recognize You Are More Than What You Do

Many of us grew up with the saying, “you are defined by your actions,” and while what we do in our lives helps other people to understand what kind of a person we are, you need to realize that you are more than just a collection of actions.

Instead of equating our worth with our performance in certain areas, remember that you are a complex and nuanced human being. Sometimes you may do things that you aren’t happy with. Sometimes you will make the wrong choice. Sometimes you may not answer the question on the whiteboard correctly. These are all part of being human, and they do not make us a failure or a bad person.

List Out Your Options

Black-and-white thinking is all about dichotomies. You are either good or bad. That choice was either right or wrong. You can only do this or that. Rather than falling into this dichotomous thinking when you are making a decision, try giving yourself additional options. Break the cycle of either-or in your head by listing out all of the options before you. At first, this may be challenging, so you may want to try actually writing out a list of all of your options when you find yourself thinking you can only choose between two extremes.

Get a Second Opinion

External perspectives are an excellent way to break up dichotomous thinking. Other people have different perspectives on a situation that can not only help you entertain additional options but it can also help you to better understand other people’s decisions. This can result in deeper connections between you and your loved ones and help you begin thinking of other options in your own mind, even without asking another person as you practice.

Remind Yourself of Your Reality

If black-and-white thinking has been ingrained in your thinking patterns for a long time, it may be hard to overcome. Sometimes you may find yourself stuck between two extreme choices. In these situations, it can help to remind yourself of some small, factually accurate statements. For example, rather than only giving yourself two options, remind yourself that there are many ways that you can solve any given problem. Before jumping to an answer, remind yourself that you can make a better decision if you give yourself some time to think about your options and gather more information.

Talk to a Therapist

Maybe you’ve tried the tips we mentioned above, and you are still having trouble overcoming your black-and-white thinking. Before you let yourself think that you’ll ‘always think this way,’ recognize that changing the way you think is a challenging process. It is hard work, and it can be even more challenging when you try to do it alone.

Instead of giving up and simply accepting that you’ll always think in this polarized way, try reaching out to a trained professional. Therapists are incredible resources for anyone looking to work on improving their lives, and they can help you identify the situations where this thinking may come up most often, as well as how you can best overcome it. So, if you feel you could use some personal guidance on how to overcome black-and-white thinking, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at Love Heal Grow.

[chiefchildwinner]

Cognitive Coherence and Contentment

“Unethical Behaviors” Harmony and balance are frequently the first things that come to mind when we consider what makes us happy. When our ideas and actions are in sync, this is obvious. Cognitive consonance is one idea that relates to this. We want to talk about this today.

1.     How does cognitive consonance work?

Two mental processes or acts that are compatible with one another are referred to as cognitive consonance in psychology. It is the interaction between two elements that allows them to coexist peacefully, to put it simply. Even though this may be a bit general, we can break it down. When our words and deeds are reflective of our thinking, this is referred to as cognitive consonance. One way that these components come together is through grinning and claiming that you adore your homework. Another way cognitive consonance comes into play is having a passion for volunteering and being friendly with the individuals you are helping. It's also crucial to comprehend cognitive dissonance, which is this inverted perspective. Two factors in this situation don't line up with what we are doing or thinking. One example of cognitive dissonance is when a person claims to like running while secretly hating the sport and not having fun at all.

“It is the interaction between two elements that allows them to coexist peacefully, to put it simply.”

2. Identifying Behaviors

It is essential that we comprehend both of these ideas since doing so will enable us to identify both our own and other people's Common Ways People Justify Unethical Behaviors. When arguing with someone else, for example, cognitive dissonance can be useful. It's beneficial to be able to recognize your contradictions because it can make what you're attempting to say more succinct. Similarly to this, it can be useful to know where the opposing viewpoint lies to determine whether one's beliefs and behavior are in line. Of course, we don't want to draw attention to things, but doing so may help us to remember what we are working with. By letting both parties know that we are on the same team, we may use cognitive consonance to assist them in finding a constructive middle ground. This kind of behavior detection is beneficial to use in our own lives since it allows us to determine whether certain activities empower us and how to get the most out of them.  The ability to see if something is working or not is a great tool .

“Understanding both of these ideas is essential since it enables us to identify behaviors in both ourselves and other people.”

3. How This Affects Your Happiness

It might be challenging to strike the correct balance between our ideas and deeds. It is feasible for us to feel one thing and act another on the one hand. This is OK because it is a necessary element of learning. Being patient is essential because it can take some time to understand who we are. By putting our ideas in a more harmonic alignment, cognitive consonance can enhance our happiness. There are numerous ways that this can occur. One benefit of feeling at ease and relaxed is that it allows us to think without bias. We frequently act in ways that are expected despite having different feelings because we want to fit in. Making room for your true self is necessary if we want to be authentic. Although cognitive consonance is something we should always work toward, it can be achieved gradually rather than all at once. This balance can help us feel less stressed and anxious and move us closer to becoming our best selves. Keep in mind that the trip we are on is designed to be taken one step at a time and to take things one at a time._

[nuawoman]

How to stop overthinking, an experts guide

In my professional experience, one of the main concerns clients often express is overthinking and if there are ways to stop overthinking. Most of the time, it is something to do with the past or about the unpredictable future. For example, if someone is feeling uneasy, they may start thinking about what might happen to them in the next moment, causing anxiety. By looking up such queries online, people may get in a loop regarding various health conditions they may not be suffering from.

Overthinking, also called ‘rumination‘, is a cognitive error or a form of thinking that is unhealthy. It is rooted in uncertainty. People who overthink could suffer from anxiety but not always. It can also contribute to depression and other mental disorders. It occurs when an individual dwells or worries about that same topic repeatedly. They get stuck and unable to move forward, making matters worse for their mental well-being.

Overthinking is one of the most common things an individual can struggle with. Here are some ways of combating and overtime stop overthinking:

Distraction

When you recognize that you are overthinking, try to distract yourself from the situation. The most helpful way of doing so is by playing focus-centric games such as sudoku or crossword. Exercising or walking can be extremely helpful as it increases dopamine and serotonin levels in the body, making one feel better and stop overthinking while performing the activity.

Challenge worse-case scenarios

Many times, overthinking occurs while thinking of worst-case scenarios. Instead, take a pen and a piece of paper – write down the worst-case scenario, then the best-case scenario followed by three other most likely scenarios. Doing such an exercise helps the mind learn that the possibility of the worst-case scenario is quite low as several other scenarios could also occur. This automatically calms the mind and individual down, reduces anxiety, and helps us move forward in the journey to stop overthinking.

‘All or nothing’ thinking

When overthinking, we see any situation as all or nothing; it is either 0 or 100. But in all fairness, there are a lot of things that fall in between too. It is always helpful to see life situations or problems on a spectrum. If we start practicing seeing things this way, it automatically helps us stay calmer, not get overwhelmed, and reduces anxiety.

‘What if’ thoughts

One of the biggest hurdles to stop overthinking is constantly thinking of what-if situations. These are extremely unhealthy and not helpful at all. It is very important that as soon as one realizes that they are getting into the loop of what-if thoughts, we stop overthinking right there and instead remind ourselves of the situation in the moment. One helpful way of doing so is to tell yourself five things regarding that topic that is true now – remind yourself of the current reality!

Mindfulness and breathing practices

Mindfulness, meditation, and breathing exercises help an individual stay in the present rather than constantly overthinking about the past or the future. If an individual regularly practices these exercises, the chances of anxiety due to overthinking are lesser. Furthermore, one can try doing so with the help of apps created to keep you calm.

Speak to a professional

If you find yourself unable to break the pattern of overthinking or challenge those thoughts on your own, you must reach out to a professional. They will not only help you break this pattern and stop overthinking over time but also uncover any underlying conditions, if any!

Our experts work round the clock to provide you with the answers that you are looking for. If you have any, leave them in the comment section below or send us a DM at @nuawoman. This is a safe space so don’t hold back on any doubts you may have about your body and mind.

To know more about mental health, read Ishita Pateria’s articles right h

[meichenxi]

Hey! I hope you feel better soon

We haven't had a good long linguistics rant from you in a while!! How about you tell us about your favourite lingustical feature or occurrence in a language? Something like a weird grammatical feature or how a language changed

If this doesn't trigger any rant you have stored feel free to educate on any topic you can spontaneously think of, I'd love to hear it :D

ALRIGHT KARO, let's go!! This is a continuation of the other ask I answered recently, and is the second part in a series about linguistic complexity. I suggest you check that one out first for this to properly make sense! (I don't know how to link but uh. it's the post behind this on my blog)

Summary of previous points: the complexity of a language has nothing to do with the 'complexity' of the people that speak it; complexity is really bloody hard to measure; some linguists in an attempt to be not racist argue that 'all languages are equally complex', but this doesn't really seem to be the case, and also still equates cognitive ability with complexity of language which is just...not how things work; arguing languages have different amounts of complexity has literally nothing to do with the cognitive abilities of those who speak it.

Ok. Chinese.

Normally when we look at complexity we like to look at things like number of verb classes, noun classes, and so on. But Chinese doesn't really do any of this.

So what do Chinese and languages like Chinese do that is so challenging to the equicomplexity hypothesis, the idea that all languages are equally complex? I’ll start by talking about some of the common properties of isolating languages - and these properties are often actually used as examples of why these languages are as complex, just in different ways. Oh Melissa, I hear you ask in wide-eyed admiration/curiousity. What are they? By isolating languages, I mean languages that tend to have monosyllabic words, little to no conjugation, particles instead of verb or noun endings, and so on: so languages like Vietnamese, Chinese, Thai and many others in East and South East Asia.

Here’s a list of funky things in isolating languages that may or may not make a language more complex than linguists don't really know what to do with:

Classifiers

Chengyu and 4-word expressions

Verb reduplication, serialisation and resultative verbs

'Lexical verbosity' = complex compounding and word forming strategies

Pragmatics

Syntax

I'll talk about the first two briefly, but I don't have space for all. For clarity of signposting my argument: many linguists use these as explanations of why languages like Chinese are as complex, but I'm going to demonstrate afterwards why the situation is a bit more complicated than that. You could even say it's...complex.

1) Classifiers

You know about classifiers in Chinese, but what you may be interested to learn is that almost all isolating languages in South East Asia use them, and many in fact borrow from each other. The tonal, isolating languages in South East Asia have historically had a lot of contact through intense trade and migration, and as such share a lot of properties. Some classifiers just have to go with the noun: 一只狗，一条河 etc. First of all, if we're defining complexity as 'the added stuff you have to remember when you learn it' (my professors hate me), it's clear that these are added complexity in exactly the same way gender is. Why is it X, and not Y? Well, you can give vague answers ('it's sort of...ribbony' or 'it's kinda...flat'), but more often than not you choose the classifier based on the vibe. Which is something you just have to remember.

Secondly, many classifiers actually have the added ability to modify the type of noun they're describing. These are familiar too in languages like English: a herd of cattle versus a head of cattle. So we have 一枝花 which is a flower but on a stem ('a stem of flower'), but also 一朵花 which is a flower but without the stem (think like...'a blob of flower'). Similarly with clouds - you could have a 一朵云 'blob of cloud' (like a nice, fluffy cloud in a children's book), but you could also have 一片云 which is like a huge, straight flat cloud like the sea...and so on. These 'measure words' do more than measure: they add additional information that the noun itself does not give.

Already we're beginning to see the outline of the problem. Grammatical complexity is...well, grammatical. We count the stuff which languages require you to express, not the optional stuff - and that's grammar. The difference between better and best is clearly grammatical, as is go and went. But what about between 'a blob of cloud' versus 'a plain of cloud'? Is that grammatical? Well, maybe: you do have to include a measure word when you say there's one of it, and in many Chinese languages that are not Mandarin you have to include them every single time you use a possessive: my pair of shoes, my blob of flower etc. But you don't always have to include one specific classifier - there are multiple options, all of which are grammatical. So should we include classifiers as part of the grammar? Or part of the vocabulary (the 'lexicon')?

Err. Next?

2) Chengyu and 4-character expressions + 4) Lexical verbosity

This might seem a bit weird: these are obviously parts of the vocab! What's weirder, though, is that many isolating languages have chengyu, not just Chinese. And if you don't use them, many native speakers surveys suggest you don't sound native. This links to point number 4, which is lexical verbosity. 'Lexical verbosity' means a language has the ability to express things creativity, in many different manners, all of which may have a slightly different nuance. The kind of thing you love to read and analyse and hate to translate.

But it is important. If we look at the systems that make up the grand total of a language, vocabulary is obviously one of them: a language with 1 million root forms is clearly more 'complex', if all else is exactly the same, than a language with 500,000. Without even getting into the whole debacle about 'what even is a word', a language that has multiple registers (dialect, regional, literary, official etc) that all interact is always going to be more complex than one that doesn't, just because there's more of it. More rules, more words, more stuff.

Similarly, something that is the backbone of modern Chinese 'grammar' and yet you may never have thought of as such is is compound words. We don't tend to traditionally teach this as grammar, and I don't have time to give a masterclass on it now, but let me assure you that compounding - across the world's language - is hugely varied. Some languages let you make anything a compound; some only allow noun+noun compounds (so no 'blackbird', as black is an adjective); some only allow head+head compound (so no 'sabretooth', because a sabretooth is a type of tiger, not tooth); some only allow compounds one way ('ring finger' but not 'finger ring': though English does allow the other way around in some other words), and so on.

You'll have heard time and time again that 'Chinese is an isolating language, and isolating languages like monosyllabic words'. Well. Sort of. You will also have noticed yourself that actually most modern Chinese words are disyllabic: 学习，工作，休息，吃饭 and so on. This is radically different to Classical Chinese, where the majority were genuinely one syllable. But many Chinese speakers still have access to the words in the compounds, and so they can be manipulated on a character-by-character basis: most adults will be able to look at 学习 and understand that 学 and 习 both exist as separate words: 开学，学生，复习，练习 and so on.

I'm going to sort of have to ask you to take my word on it as I don't have time to prove how unique it is, but the ability that Chinese has to turn literally anything into a compound is staggering. It's insane. It's...oh god I'm tearing up slightly it's just a LOT guys ok. It's a lot. There are 20000000 synonyms for anything you could ever want, all with slightly different nuances, because unlike many other languages, Chinese allows compounds where the two bits of the compound mean, largely speaking, very similar things. So yes, you have compounds like 开学 which is the shortened version of 开始学习, or ones with an object like 吃饭 or 睡觉, but you also have compounds like 工作 where both 工 and 作 kind of...mean 'to work'...and 休息 where both 休 and 息 mean 'to rest'...and so on. So you can have 感 and 情 and 爱 and 心 but also 感情 and 情感 and 爱情 and 情爱 and 心情 and 心爱 and 爱心 and so on, and they all mean different things. And don't even get me started on resultative verbs: 学到，学会，学好，学完， and so on...

What is all of this, if not complex? It's not grammatical - except that the process of compound forming, that allows for so many different compounds, is grammatical. We can't make the difference between学会，学好 and 学完 anywhere near as easily in English, and in Chinese you do sort of have to add the end bit. So...do we count this under complexity? And if not, we should probably count it elsewhere? Because it's kind of insane. And learners have to use it, much like the example I gave of English prepositions, and it takes them a bloody long time. But then where?

Ok. I haven't had a chance to talk about everything, but you get the picture: there are things in Chinese that, unlike European languages, do not neatly fit into the 'grammar' versus 'vocabulary' boxes we have built for ourselves, because as a language it just works very differently to the ones we've used as models. (Though some of the problems, in fact, are similar: German is also very adept at compounding.) But as interesting as that difference is, the goal of typology as a sub-discipline of linguistics is to talk about and research the types of linguistic diversity around the world, so we can't stop there by acknowledging our models don't fit. We have to go further. We have to stop, and think: What does this mean for the models that we have built?

This is where we get into theoretically rather boggy ground. We weren't before?? No, like marsh of the dead boggy. Linguists don't know it...they go round, for miles and miles and miles....

Because unfortunately there isn't a clear answer. If we dismiss these things as 'lexical' and therefore irrelevant to the grammar, that is a) ignoring their grammatical function, b) ignoring the fact that the lexicon is also a system that needs to be learnt, and has often very clear rules on word-building that are also 'grammatical', and c) essentially playing a game of theoretical pass-the-parcel. It's your problem, not mine: it's in the lexicon, not the grammar. Blah blah blah. Because whoever's problem it is, we still have to account for this complexity somehow when we want to compare literally any languages that are substantially different at all.

On the other side of things, however, if we argue that 'Chinese is as complex as Abkhaz, because it makes up for a lack of complexity in Y by all this complexity in X' (and therefore all languages = equally complex), this ignores the fact that compounding and irregular verbs belong to two very different systems. The kind of mistake you make when you use the wrong classifier intuitively seems to be on another level of 'wrongness' to the kind where you conjugate a verb in the wrong way. One is 'wrong'. The other is just 'not what we say'. It's the same as the use of prepositions in English: some are obviously wrong (I don't sleep 'at my bed') but some are just weird, and for many there are multiple options ('at the weekend', 'on the weekend'). Is saying 'I am on the town' the same level of wrongness as saying 'I goed to the shops'? Intuitively we might want to say the second is a 'worse' mistake. In which case, what are they exactly? They're both 'grammar', but totally different systems. And where do you draw the line?

Here's the thing about the equicomplexity argument. As established, it stems from a nice ideological background that nevertheless conflates cognition and linguistic complexity. Once you realise that no, the two are completely separate, you're under no theoretical or ideological compulsion to have languages be equally complex at all. Why should they be at all? Some languages just have more stuff in them: some have loads of vowels, and loads of consonants, and some have loads of grammar. Others have less. They all do basically the same job. Why is that a big deal?

Where the argument comes into its biggest problem, though, is that if a language like Chinese is already as complex as a language like Abkhaz...what happens when we meet Classical Chinese?

Classical Chinese. An eldritch behemoth lurking with tendrils of grass-style calligraphy belching perfect prose just behind the horizon.

Let's look at Modern Chinese for a moment. It has some particles: six or so, depending on how you count them. You could include these as being critical to the grammar, and they are.

A common dictionary of Classical Chinese particles lists 694.

To be fair, a lot of these survive as verbs, nouns and so on. Classical Chinese was very verb-schmerb when it came to functional categories, and most nouns can be verbs, and vice versa. It's all just about the vibe. But still. Six hundred and ninety four.

Some of these are optional - they're the nice 'omggg' equivalent of the modern tone particles at the end of a sentence. Some of them are smushed versions of two different particles, like 啦. Some of these, however, really do seem to have very grammatical features. Of these 694, 17 are listed as meaning ‘subsequent to and later than X’, and 8 indicate imposition of a stress upon the word they precede or follow. Some are syntactic: there are, for instance, 8 different particles solely for the purpose of fronting information: 'the man saw he'. That is very much a grammatical role, in every sense of the word.

The copula system ('to be') is also huuuuuuugely complex. I could write a whole other post about this, but I'll just say for now that the copula in Classical Chinese could be specific to degrees of logical preciseness that would make the biggest Lojban-loving computer programmer weep into his Star Trek blanket. As in, the system of positive copulas distinguishes between 6 different polar-positive copulas (A is B), 2 insistent positive (A is B), 19 restricted positive (A is only B), and 15 of common inclusion (A is like B). Some other copulas can make such distinctions as ‘A becomes or acts as B’, ‘A would be B’, ‘may A not be B?’ and so on. Copulas may also be used in a sort of causal way (not 'casual'), creating very specific relationships like ‘A does not merely because of B’ or ‘A is not Y such that B is X’.

WHEW. And all we have in modern Chinese is 是。

I think we can see that this is a little more complex. So saying 'Modern Chinese is as complex as Abkhaz, just in a different way' leaves no space for Classical Chinese to be even more complex...so....where does that leave us?

Uhhhhhh. Errrrrr.

(Don't worry, that's basically where the entire linguistics community is at too.)

The thing is, all these weird and wacky things that Classical Chinese is able to do are all optional. This is where the problem is. Our understanding of complexity, if you hark back to my last post so many moons ago, is that it's the description of what a language requires you to do. We equate that with grammar because in most of the languages we're familiar with, you can't just pick and choose whether to conjugate a verb or use a tense. If you are talking in third person, the verb has to change. It just...does. You can't not do it if you feel like it. There's not such thing as 'poetic license' - except in languages like Classical Chinese, well. There sort of is.

The problem both modern Chinese and Classical Chinese shows us to a different extent is that some languages are capable of highly grammatical things, but with a degree of optionality we would not expect. Classical Chinese can accurately stipulate to the Nth degree what, exactly, the grammatical relationship between two agents are in a way that is undoubtedly and even aggressively logical. But...it doesn't have to. As anybody who has tried anything with Classical Chinese knows, reading things without context is an absolute fucking nightmare. As a language it has the ability to also say something like 臣臣 which in context means 'when a minister acts as a minister'...but literally just means...minister minister. Go figure. It doesn't have to do any of these myriad complex things it's capable of at all.

So...what does this mean? What does all of this mean, for the question of whether all languages are equally complex?

Whilst I agree that the situation with Classical Chinese is fully batshit insane, the fact is most isolating languages are more like Modern Chinese: they don't do all of this stuff. And whilst classifiers and compounds are challenging, they're not quite the same as the strict binary correct/incorrect of many systems. I'm also just not convinced that languages need to be equally complex. However.

HOWEVER. In this essay/rant/lecture (?), I've raised more questions than I've answered. That's deliberate. I both think that a) the type of complexity Chinese shows is not 'enough' to work as a 'trade off' compared to languages like Abkhaz, and b) that this 'grammatical verbosity' and optionality of grammatical structures is something we don't know how to deal with at all. These are two beliefs that can co-exist. Classical Chinese especially is a huge challenge to current understandings of complexity, whichever side of the equicomplexity argument you stand on.

Because where do you place optionality in all of this? Choice? If a certain structure can express something grammatical, but you don't have to include it - is that more complex, or less so? Where do we rank optional features in our understanding of grammar? It's a totally new dimension, and adds a richness to our understanding that we simply wouldn't have got if we hadn't looked at isolating languages. This, right here, is the point of typology: to inform theory, and challenge it.

What do we do with this sort of complexity at all?

I don't know. And I don't think many professional linguists do either.

- meichenxi out

[trans-kafka]

"I Sexually Identify As An Attack Helicopter" is one of the best science fiction stories I've ever read. Isabel Fall uses military settings and values like a scalpel to cut a cross-section of large and timeless issues right as they intersect our current society. It's simultaneously intellectual and visceral, complex and sparse. Not only in the story and how she speaks about gender, which I found myself screenshotting to remember particularly poignant sentences for later discussions about the topic, but also in her comments for the Vox article about how the backlash ruined her life. In this article she discusses to usefulness of mass-shaming, and of organizing into mobs generally, as a tool that has existed and had a legitimate use for as long as there have been disempowered people who have to band together to be heard:

The powerful want to say that we are entering a dangerous new era where ‘people disliking things en masse’ has coalesced into some kind of crowdsourced [weapon], firing on arbitrary targets from orbit and vaporizing their reputations,” she wrote to me in an email. “The use of mass social sanction gives the less powerful a weapon against the more powerful, so long as they can mobilize loudly and persistently. This is not new. Shame and laughter are vital tools for freedom.”

She cautions, however, that “like all weapons, it will do the most damage when aimed at the least defended, the isolated, those with no one to stand up for them, publicly or privately. And we must be careful with the temptation to use it inside our own houses to destroy shapes we think are intruders.”

Emphasis mine. Her seamless use of simile, evoking the knot of fear that might lead to us discharge a weapon inside our own homes in the dark of the night, like some kind of trans Rod Serling, is even more poetic because it is invoked to describe her own Twilight Zone-esque experience (The Monsters Are On Maple Street is my nomination for comparison episode).

As for the story itself, The Vox article summarizes it well:

As a story, “I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter” explores three separate but interconnected ideas: gender as an innate part of the self, gender as a performance for society, and gender as a (literal) weapon of the state. The story’s complicated exploration of gender identity doesn’t work for everyone, but it hits others with almost laser-targeted precision.

If we cheated ourselves out of a long career's worth of speculative fiction from this author by turning on her so viciously, we may deserve it but we will also be in a worse position for learning how to be more ethical, more judicious, and have better foresight in using our evolving cultural and cognitive capacities as weapons.