#and the Mayo they put on the sandwich is nice too!!!

[rubberduckyrye]

-inhales-

NEW COUCH/POTENTIAL NEW ARMCHAIR TODAY!!!!

[coff-in]

You know that last post about Andy being a reluctant sex maniac? It occurs to me if he really could just bust that hard on a daily basis, he'd probably like to experiment a little with it (maybe in a way that won't put someone in a hospital though). Say maybe you're stuck without food so he makes a, say, special bowl of clam chowder- extra thick and salty, just for you. (No you can't ask how he made it. It's a secret. Shut up. No don't share it with Ashley she can get something on her own.)

Then, by some miracle, you actually like it enough that you might try it again later, and he feels like just hearing that feedback gave his body the express command to refill right the fuck back up with enough for another few batches. Then, if he gets the food needed (probably from a more resourceful [reader] scrounging up some more ingredients) he starts putting it in other things he makes when nobody else is looking- the mayonnaise in your sandwich, the glazing of some rolls, the batter for some pancakes, a special protein shake- you think he's really on a roll with learning new recipes and getting some passion for the culinary arts during these rough days, but at the heart of it he's really just gotten addicted to the thought of filling you up with his jizz.

Somehow I think Ashley would do something similar- though she probably wouldn't be as good at hiding it or being too subtle. If it wouldn't be putting her cum into random things you and Andy had to eat, it'd be her bargaining a random neighbor off to a devil so she can lactate at will, then insisting on pouring you all a nice glass of milk for breakfast each day. And if she ever actually gets to know about Andrew and sees he's also doing funny shit with what you've been serving, she'd egg him on to go further and combine their "resources" to see what they can get away with, and ask for discreet lessons in cooking so she can feed you her own tainted dishes. And you'd be so, so incapable of just turning the two down, because as far as you know, hey, they made it for you! Poor, immature Ashley learned to make something nice from her sweet big brother just to make you happy! You wouldn't turn down a helping of special-made, sugar-glazed, extra-protein pancakes just because they taste a little off sometimes, would you?

notes from coff-in: reluctant sex maniac andrew my beloved <3 you guys don't understand the emotion i felt waking up at 6 o'clock in the morning and seeing that in my inbox. went through several stages of disgusted, amused, and horny. andrew must be tired slinging that huge log between his legs, having everyone tease him about that thick outline in his pants or the round bulge... he could hide it in me if he wants to

[gender neutral] reader-insert, NSFW

if [reader] was like me they'd eat anything edible without question. andrew hands them fucking extra creamy clam chowder and [reader]'s like "aw hell yeah, thanks :)" like NOO??? where tf did he get EXTRA CREAMY CLAM CHOWDER??? and why can't ashley eat any??? wouldn't question anything, just thankful to be eating something while stick in quarantine

the "mayo" sandwich is so funny for that fan service/horny potential because maybe andrew adds too much and when [reader] takes a bite, the mayo just squirts out the sandwich from the other end. they scoop it up with their fingers and then suck it, running their tongue over their fingers going "mmmh! it's kinda salty but it's tastes good!" andrew's watching [reader] eat with wide eyes and feels another batch weighing heavy in his balls, waiting to enter [reader]

i like to think that in this scenario that [reader] is good friends with andrew and ashley. yeah sometimes [reader]'s eyes wander towards andrew's uncomfortably, unreasonably big and needy endowments (never letting that go) but they still like andrew for the cynical english nerd that he is and ashley for the annoying and teasing girl that she is. i think that's how ashley came to think "yeah... i wanna feed them my fluids"

she'd be so teasing about it, hinting that it's "made with love" and it's a "family recipe" while they drink coffer made with her breast milk (maybe it's a breast milk tea for [reader] if they don't like coffee). it's a crazy thought seeing ashley standing over a dead body in the middle of a pentagram talking to a demonic entity "i want to be able to lactate" crazy...

andrew and ashley sneak around the kitchen so they could have their "cooking lessons" while [reader] is sleeping. i think [reader] would try to make them something in return, an honest and genuine attempt at a meal to say thank you to them "i know it's not as good as your food but i really appreciate you guys and the food you've been making me" it touches andrew and ashley's hearts

they get off to the idea of [reader] taking the "special ingredients" straight from the source :3

----

coff-in

[dadvans]

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @tiltingheartand, thank you! from an almost finished Tommy POV

They go surfing. Well, Evan surfs, and Tommy just kind of chills from the beach and gets a nice tan. It’s fun to watch Evan show off. He’s still baby deer nervous sometimes with Tommy, like he’s relearning how to walk, or like Tommy is the proctor of a Good Bisexual test, and Evan’s trying a little too hard to pass. But on the water it all fades away as all the overthinking he does melts off him, riding down the line.

He comes out of the water goofy on endorphins after a few waves and collapses cold and wet from the ocean on Tommy, who is warm and dry on his towel, smothering him with a kiss.

“You sure you don’t want a lesson? I’ve been told I’m a very capable teacher,” Evan says, voice dripping suggestively. “Worked my way up and down a few coastlines, you know.”

Tommy likes this side of Evan when Evan lets it out. Maybe they need to go to the beach more, even if he doesn’t really care about getting in the water. “Nah, I’d be shark bait out there.”

Evan rolls his eyes and zips open his wetsuit, peeling it off so the arms hang loose at his hips. “Chances of a shark attack are less than one in three million. You have a higher chance of getting struck by lightning.”

“Should I be worried about you then?” One of the first things Tommy learned about Evan before he really knew him was that the kid was kind of a disaster magnet. What’s the probability of being bitten by a shark when you’ve already been struck by lightning?

“You don’t need to worry about me, not out there anyway,” Evan says with a gentle tilt of his head toward the ocean. He’s delusional. Tommy likes him so much. “Kind of feel like you might have jinxed a second ride out today though. Wanna get lunch instead?”

They wind up at the good kind of greasy seaside bar. Tommy gets the fish tacos that came recommended, but Evan is making love to an oyster po’ boy with his mouth.

“You know,” Evan says, licking at the mayo clinging to the corner of his lips, “I totally fell for the idea of being a pick up artist when I heard about it in high school. Always tried finding new ways to get with girls. I read up on aphrodisiacs once.”

“Are you trying to seduce me, Evan Buckley?” Tommy asks wryly, staring at the half-chewed fried oyster hanging out of his sandwich.

“Nah, turns out it’s all bullshit. Found that out after I took my prom date to this seafood place and ordered us a dozen raw in the half shell thinking maybe I’d get lucky. I looked up at her after slurping down three of them, and you should’ve seen the look on her face. I thought she was gonna puke.”

Tommy snorts the sip of water he was taking back out onto the bar.

“The only natural aphrodisiac I can think of that isn’t like”—Evan lifts his own beer—“or a party drug is ambergris, which is kind of like whale shit, but not really. It’s illegal in the states though.”

“Evan, I’m eating,” Tommy says, but he’s laughing.

Evan, oblivious, continues, “They say it smells like shit on its own too, but something about it has them putting it in perfumes. I can’t remember what. Can you imagine if I showed up caked in whale shit for a date though?”

Tommy looks at him and Evan stares back, smile half-knowing and all hopeful, waiting for anything Tommy is willing to give him.

Just for that, Tommy doesn’t call bullshit. He says, “You think you’re hilarious,” and Evan shrugs, happily taking another bite of his po’ boy.

tagging: @thekookster @plethoriall @marmolita @al-the-remix @rcmclachlan

[slicznymartwy]

Billy Lenz X GN! Reader where the reader is so gentle and surprisingly patient with him? Billy would believe he doesn’t deserve their kindness and he assumes the reader is “pretending” to be nice, but they’re not pretending at all.

hmm i was kind of torn if it should be established or not .. went with not but i think i regret it !! so i might post more of this but this is mostly a rlly short first meeting blurb hehe warning: general billy lenz gross dialogue, thats it

☾⋆⁺₊ billy lenz x gn!reader

Waiting is the worst part. Billy looks outside, where the dark sky and white snow stretch on forever and ever. It's almost time, he tells himself, just a little while longer. Then, he can finally fill his grumbling stomach.

True to his own word, he lets himself sneak down the ladder after a few more minutes, taking it rung by rung to keep as quiet as possible. He gives the same treatment to the staircase, taking each step with measured precision. Billy isn't an amateur, and he's taken this route many times since he started staying in the attic.

Billy freezes in the kitchen doorway when he sees he’s not alone. He sees you sitting at the kitchen table, a partially full glass of milk in front of you. Billy wants to book it back to his attic and pretend that you were just a ghost, or that he was a ghost. You’re both ghosts, haunting each other. 

“Hi,” you say softly. Billy doesn’t answer you. He stares, standing still in the doorway. 

“Are you hungry?” you ask. Billy still keeps quiet, but his stomach doesn’t get the message; it growls lowly, long and drawn-out.

When you smile, you try to cover it with your hand. He doesn’t know why. You’re so stupid. Why would you hide a pretty smile? You don’t want him to see it? Do you hate him that much? He wants to hold your mouth open and see your teeth. They looked so white.

“I’ll make us sandwiches, okay?”

Billy watches from the doorway at first, but he moves closer to watch. He might as well see what you put in it. He won’t eat it if there’s tomatoes. He hates tomatoes. They make the bread all wet, even if he picks them out. 

You don’t use tomatoes. Just ham and cheese, mayo and mustard. His mouth waters as you cut it in half. Billy doesn’t realize how close he is until you turn and you have to look up at him.

“Thirsty?” you ask. Billy doesn’t answer. 

“Water?” You pause. “Beer?”

Billy looks into your eyes. He wants to scare you. Why aren’t you scared? You shouldn’t be making him a sandwich. You should be crying and calling the police. Billy is scary. He’s filthy Billy, he’s the Moaner.

You hold his sandwich out to him on a napkin and he snatches it out of your hands. He turns away from you when he takes his first bite, and then he can’t stop. He eats and eats until there’s nothing. He licks the crumbs off his fingers. It’s better than the pickles or the peanut butter he’s been stealing.

When he’s done, you poke your head out around him. You’re holding the other sandwich. 

“Still hungry?” you ask. He takes this one too, and destroys it similarly.

You make two more sandwiches, one for him and one for you this time, and Billy sits down at the kitchen table while he waits. Once the sandwich is front of him, along with a tall glass of water, Billy eats it slower than he did the others. He chugs the glass of water.

“You’ll make yourself sick, slow down,” you murmur, pouting. Billy gasps when he stops drinking, wiping his chin with his palm. He starts to drink again, but slower. He looks to you and you smile. 

“What’s your name?” 

Billy doesn’t answer. He takes the half you weren’t holding and eats it too. He expects you to lash out. Hit him, pull his hair, throw him out of the house. Yell at him that he’s being bad. Bad Billy. 

Instead, you get up and refill his cup with more tap water. 

“Want an apple?” you ask. Billy takes the cup of water and sips some of it. He shakes his head afterward. 

You smile without any teeth. Billy misses them.

When Billy’s done, you take his napkins and clean off his crumbs from the table before tossing it all away. 

“Want more water?” you ask. Billy shakes his head and watches you carry the cup to the sink and leave it there. 

“Do you want to see my bedroom?” you ask him quietly. 

Billy’s eyes open wider. Stupid. So stupid. Billy could ruin you. Billy could destroy you. Don’t you know what Billy is? Aren’t you afraid of the Moaner? You’re not supposed to welcome Billy in. 

Billy doesn’t answer your question, but he follows behind you up the stairs. You close the door to your room behind him, but Billy stays next to the door as you walk to your bed. 

“This is it,” you say. Billy stares at you. He’s seen your room before plenty of times, just never like this. Never with you, inside with you. 

“Come here.”  You pat the edge of the bed next to you. Billy waits to take his first step, then waits again for the next. He’s slow, but it's only because he still can't figure out your angle.

Still, he manages to sit beside you. He stares into his lap while you look at him. 

“You’re the one from the attic, aren’t you?” you whisper. 

Billy’s hands clench. He expects it now. You’ll be so scared of him. You’ll push him away, call him a freak. You’ll hit Billy until his nose bleeds, and then he’ll choke you with both hands because you made him mad. You'll deserve it because you hate Billy. 

But you don’t do anything - you just wait. Billy doesn’t know how to answer. Your teeth are so white. 

“I can hear you up there sometimes. Your foot steps. You have to be really quiet, don’t you?” you ask. He nods, because he does have to be quiet. He didn’t want to get caught, but you caught him anyways. 

Aren’t you afraid? Why are you letting him sit with you? Billy can’t understand you. Why are you being so nice?

“It’s a big house, but I can hear your phone calls too. You can be loud when you want to be.”

Billy’s heart plummets further. He grunts and rubs his eyes. With his vision obscured, it’s easier to talk. It’s like he isn’t really in the room with you. He wants to be up in the attic with his phone. He’d feel better talking to you that way. 

Instead, he only lets himself say, “I want to cum on your teeth.” His voice is quiet, whispered into the dark room. You sigh. 

“I wish you wouldn’t say that,” you murmur. 

“I’ll lick them clean,” he promises. They were really white. He catches another glimpse of them while you’re talking, pearly and shiny like the sun. 

“Do you want to take a shower? Or a bath? I could show you where the bathroom is,” you say. 

“No,” he says quickly, firmly. He hates wet hair, wet skin. Cold.

“Okay. Do you want to sleep here?” you ask him. Billy hates it. Why do you get to be so nice?

“Wanna put my cock inside your hole. Pig fuckhole,” he mutters, pressing against his eyes until his vision swims and flashes.

You sigh, and Billy blinks a few times to get back his sight before watching you twist and lay down. Your hair fans out against your pillow and, from he still sits at the edge of your bed, he imagines rubbing his cock against it. Evil, disgusting Billy. He should be put down like a dog. Bad dog, bad Billy.

“When’s the last time you slept on a real bed?” you ask him.

“Woof. Lay down, Billy,” he says quietly. He watches you and you watch him. The bed was really soft. He could curl up at the bottom of the bed and sleep at your feet like a puppy dog. He imagines rubbing his red cock against your toes. Would you hate Billy if you knew his brain? Would you still let him sleep with you in your big warm soft bed if you knew he was terrible?

He doesn’t want to find out. He crawls over your legs and lays down next to you, his head resting on the pillow beside yours. He stares up at the ceiling and tries to imagine what boxes of junk he’s underneath. 

“It’s lonely out there,” you say suddenly. Billy looks at you, and you’re also looking at the ceiling, so Billy looks back up. 

“You can sleep here tonight,” you tell him, fixing the blanket around the both of you.

Billy could easily roll over on top of you. He could bite your throat and pull out your flesh. He could chop you into pieces and then fuck whatever’s left. Instead, he stays still and watches the ceiling until he falls asleep. 

© slicznymartwy 2023, please do not repost or copy.

[spamsmcgee]

World’s Worst Cooking Show

->Listen to the Wii Sports Theme

Y/N is a twitch micro-celebrity. With a variety of content on her channel, ranging from her newer trucking simulator games to war crimes in Minecraft, and comfy study and writing streams, her favorite and most popular series is her cooking show. Each guest invited has to have never heard of her, and the only information they are given is that she cooks food from her childhood.

Yuki Tsunoda x Twitch streamer reader.

yourinstagrambaybe

yourinstagrambaybe THIS WEEK ON EATS W YN: ALPHATAURIS YUKI TSUNODA. MY CAREER HAS LEAD UP TO THIS MOMENT.

Shout out to landonorris for introducing us!

ynbiggestfan Who knew Traffic Violations in F1 would bring us to this

Yukinoo She didn’t even tag him.

yourinstagrambaybe I have him blocked on all platforms.

pierregasly it’s going to be a nightmare. I can’t wait to watch

Yuki’s voice filtered through your phone’s speakers. You bounced on your heels as you waited, giving him directions to your small city apartment. Lando shouted over him, insisting that he knows where to go.

The minutes waiting and preparing screeched to a halt once Lando let the two of them in on his own.

You hopped to, greeting them at the door. “You made it,” you said, giving Lando a hug and greeting Yuki with a handshake.

“I’ve got everything set up, Lando you can watch the camera for me.”

The three of you moved to places for the stream, quickly getting everything started after a very brief and vague explanation for Yuki. Whose concern grew with every off brand and out of place ingredient he saw. Something about bargain brand Colby jack cheese say on top of flour tortillas filled him with something wary.

“Chat we have a guest,” You said, a sharp gesture towards Yuki and nothing more.

“Hello, I’m Yuki.”

Your streams would always start tame enough. In this case, a nice garlic butter spread making for the toastiest grilled cheese made Yuki nearly swoon. Comments flooded the chat the moment he took a bite and his eyes lit up. Not looking at the sandwich, however, but towards you.

Of course, the way to any real foodie’s heart is by food.

The adoration in his eyes would become one tested by things to come. As you announced that the grilled cheese, a recipe perfected by your sweet mother, was only the beginning.

More condiments and some lunch meat for good measure made it’s way to your cutting board. Yuki’s curiosity quickly turned sour as you explained.

“Imagine with me: you’re a college student,” you leaned against your counter, engaging fully with Yuki as he listened on. “You’re broke, but still, you need to eat. You take a look in your fridge for the third time and since nothing has materialized in your fridge yet, you go on and pick something.”

You picked up the honey ham lunch meat, 1.50 at a nearby dollar store and probably processed to high heavens, and a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.

“Lunch on the most forgettable days, wether as a broke college student, or during summer break ad a small child,” you can’t help but watch that light drain from Yuki’s eyes as he realized. The dreaded struggle meal of lunch meat, mayo, and a single too small tortilla.

A man who has never had a struggle meal to this degree, a man who is slowly being beaten down.

“Is this why you blocked me?” He asked, voice low and filled with, something, “so I couldn’t find you and see this” he struggled to search for the words appropriate to describe your various crimes against food.

You set a bowl in front of him, the smack against the counter served to interrupt his monologue, cooking in the back of his mind with the rage of ten foodstagrammers.

The off brand Colby jack made itself useful, “the lunch meat tortilla wasn’t enough, honestly”

“Can we go back to the grilled cheese?” Yuki asked, those pleading brown eyes flooded with confusion and pain. He watched as you put a handful of the shredded cheese into the bowl.

“Be a doll and put this into the microwave for me”

You didn’t spare him a look as he nearly gagged at the moral implications. His opinions of you would go through so much, change after change, the moment of pure love and adoration from that first grilled cheese pulled through mud and sweat and microwaved cheese.

The stages of grief washed over him, from thinking he had found his soulmate to his worst enemy. To holding onto the hope that it really was an elaborate prank because if you could make the perfect grilled cheese, you have to be a good cook at the end of the day.

“What the fuck is this?” His voice was soft, pained almost before he dropped the bowl back into the counter. “What is wrong with you?”

The chat to your left, out of view from stream, flooded with comments fighting in Yuki’s defense. Only his first appearance and your entire following fell in love with him. Lando stood off to the side, watching, hoping to see a further breaking of his fellow driver. A hope that hung in vain.

Those big, pained, shining eyes bore into your mind, and your heart. A facade of defiance and chaos you had nursed for so long in front of your audience melted away under the passionate gaze of Yuki.

“Okay, why don’t we try something different?” You took the bowl from in front of Yuki, moved it out of frame and by the hand you led Yuki to your pantry.

There, it was stocked well. Organized to a tee, with some surprisingly high quality dry goods.

“What about pasta?” You grabbed a box of penne shells and handed them to him.

A wave of relief shadowed Yuki’s eyes, shoulders relaxed and a hesitant bit of that initial adoration crept back in. A promise of some actual good food peeked itself of the clouds of uncertainty and meat tortillas.

With that Lando excused himself, not fully enjoying the idea that he could bear witness to the worst cooking show he could have been subject to.

yourinstagrambaybe

yourinstagrambaybe I have learned a very important lesson today: yukitsunoda0511 is not the one. I would like to apologize for ever putting this angel through what I have.

landonorris I’m sorry I ever introduced the two of you.

yukitsunoda0511 I’m not. I’ve never had better food in my life.

formulawhat I never would have imagined Yuki being the one to break y/n like this.

yourinstagrambaybe It’s the eyes. They do things to you.

yourbiggestfan I could see the moment in stream when she fell in love.

ynlovely Been trying for two years, a man did it in a DAY

yukitsunoda0511

yukitsunoda0511 She actually can cook

formulawhat Is this dinner, and breakfast??

ynlovely This wasn’t on my bingo card for the year of our lord. But I’m not complaining.

yukinooo This is like some weird fanfiction trope

yourinstagrambaybe Not really.

[burrowbaddie]

Imagine Joe having sex with you underneath a tree

Cabin Fever

Joe Burrow x Reader

A/N: This was such a good request! I hope you like it! Sorry if it sucks a bit. I did have fun writing it, so that's all that matters! Hehe! Thank you for the request!

The June air is warm, and the sun is high in the sky. You sit on the back porch watching your boyfriend resume his workout. He promised you a nice little weekend getaway in upstate New York. But here he was once again zoned in on his football regimen. You lift your shades and put down the book you had been reading.

"Joesph! This is not a mini vacation if all you've been doing is working out!" You yell out to him. Joe takes his AirPods out.

"Did you say something, babe?" He shouts back. You wave him over. Joe puts down the rope and runs over to you. He's shirtless, covered in sweat, with nothing but shorts on. He leans down to kiss your lips, but you turn your head.

"I'm going to make lunch, and I expect you to take a break and join me. over there for a picnic." You point to the tallest tree on the woods' outskirts, aligning the property. Joe groans.

"We just had breakfast, sweetheart."

"That was 4 hours ago. You've been at this nonsense non-stop. Lunch with me, or I'm leaving."

"Fine. But I need to work on a few throws and then-"

"You have 15 mins." You warn him getting up and walking into the cabin. Joe goes back to the field to finish things up. Meanwhile, you begin making lunch. You prepare some sandwiches and a charcuterie board. You pack everything into the basket and grab drinks before heading back out. Joe is still focused on throwing. You walk across the backyard and lay the blanket down underneath the tree. The tree gives you the perfect shade, and you bask in the coolness. Joe has been working under the sun all afternoon. You had put sunscreen on him earlier, but you could tell he would have a bit of a tan; regardless, you hoped it didn't burn too much.

"Joseph!" You wave him over. Your boyfriend holds up five fingers, and you glare at him through your sunglasses. You stand up, putting your hands on your hips, signaling you are not playing anymore. Joe gives you a cheeky smile and puts the football down. He goes inside for 10 mins and returns with a fresh shirt and shorts. You're guessing he washed up because when he sits next to you no longer smells of sweat, but his usual body wash.

"Looks good. Thank you." He grabs a sandwich, and you smile, feeling victory. But for the next 15 mins, he goes on about losing to KC and how he should've played better. Standing up, you lift your sundress, pulling your underwear off, stopping Joe from talking. Normally you love hearing him rant about football, but today was not the day. He promised you a weekend of you and him, no football. Joe licks the vegan mayo off his lips and watches you sit down. You open the strawberries and start eating them slowly. Joe's blue eyes don't stop watching you as you sit back down. He chuckles and places his sandwich down.

"I'm sorry, baby." He crawls over towards you spreading your legs. You play a foot on his shoulder, stopping him.

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry for not giving my beautiful girlfriend my undivided attention." He says, kissing your ankle.

"I don't know if I forgive you."

"How can I make it up to you?" Joe's eyes darken as you remove your foot and open your legs. When it came to your pussy, Joe never wasted time enjoying what was in front of him. You can barely get a word out before Joe dives right in. Joe starts licking and twirling his tongue around your clit before spreading your folds for a messy make-out session with your cunt. Your dress shielded Joe from your view, so you had to go on feeling and sound as he slurped between your legs like a starved animal. Joe has perfected his technique; it takes less than a min for you to cum on his tongue, and that was before his fingers even entered you. Joe pushes your dress off his head and sits up while slowly adding two fingers into you. Your legs shake, and your eyes shoot open. Joe is staring down at you with a wide grin. He pushes your trembling legs apart and takes his place between them. Joe bends down to kiss you. The kiss starts off slow, and you try your best to concentrate on his lips, but with Joe being three fingers knuckle deep in your pussy you're losing focus. He slaps your thigh and bites your bottom lip to keep you focused on him.

"Joe, wait, please." You beg, but Joe doesn't let up. You reach down to grab his hands, and Joe smiles against your lips.

"Nu-uh. You wanted this remember? You're ovulating this week. You've been walking around with nothing under your negligee, begging for it. Begging for me to stuff you full. I'm going to give it to you. And you're going to take every last drop." Joe whispers the last part in your ear, and you rain down on his hand cumming again. You've been discussing having children for the last two months. Yes, Joe said you guys could try. So yes, you have purposely walked around like a dog in heat this week. Joe took his fingers out of your drenched pussy and licked them, sucking your juices off each digit. His shorts are pulled down, and his cock springs out. You sit on your elbows, watching Joe altogether remove his clothes. He leaves you in your yellow sundress because Joe has this thing where he loves fucking you when you're half-dressed. He bunches the dress up your waist and grins. Joe slaps the tip of his dick on your pussy before rubbing it against your clit.

"Please. Hurry."

"Slow down, baby." He warns you. Joe slowly inches in, making your legs shake. In and out. He buries himself into you to the hilt, only to slowly drag it out.

"Stop teasing." You cry. With that, Joe grabs hold of your hips and fucks into you faster, giving you exactly what you wanted. He fucks you dumb. Your mouth is open, but you can't get a word or sound out because Joe hits your g-spot repeatedly. Your legs start shaking uncontrollably, and Joe rubs your clit with his thumb, praising you.

"That's my girl, baby. That's it." Joe says, pulling out until the tip to watch you squirt. Your body twitches and Joe uses this time to pull your dress off and toss it in the grass. He pulls you up on his lap, letting you ride him. But you're still in a dazy, so he bounces you up and down. Throwing your head back, you moan his name and tell him how good he feels. Joe kisses your neck, telling you how good it feels inside you.

"Mine. All mine. I fucking love it in here. Never letting this go." He groans into your neck.

"Yours. It's all yours, Joey." Tears prick your water line again because he quickly found your spot. You don't know if you can handle another orgasm just yet. Joe releases your hips and sits back on his hands, watching you work yourself on his dick.

"Make me a mommy!"

"Yeah? You-you want me to make you a mommy?" Joe stutters, feeling himself about to bust. You look down at him, slowly circling your hips now. You're in control now, and you want to tease Joe. But your boyfriend isn't having that. He is forcing you on your back with your knees pressed against your ears in one quick motion.

"Not-Not fair." You whine, feeling him deep inside you. Joe continues fucking you in that position until is cumming. You love this feeling, his warm cum slowly leaking out of your pussy. You're filled to the brim with his seed. Joe lets go of your weak legs, watching them drop flat like dead weights. He bends down to kiss your belly while pushing his cum back into you with his fingers.

"Can't waste it." He whispers against your stomach. You shudder, and Joe turns you over, wanting to enter you from behind. With shaky hands and legs, you get onto your hands and knees. Joe is in you again before you can steady yourself. You hold on to the tree for support, making Joe laugh as he holds your hips.

"Slow mm, slow down."

Joe doesn't slow down. He lets go of the grip on your hips to hold onto the tree. Every time your ass connects with his pelvis, your knees buckle. It feels so good but is too much at the same time. You start biting your bottom lip, trying to keep quiet because you are on the verge of screaming. At one point, Joe holds your right leg up, creating an angle that sends your eyesight out of focus.

"Why are you quiet now?" Joe stops everything, and you whimper when he pulls out.

"I don't want to be too loud." You whisper. Joe smacks your ass, causing you to yelp.

"Who is going to hear you? Hmm, the birds? Deer? A bear? I don't think the animals care, sweetheart."

You turn around, giving him a fuck you look. Joe slides back in. This time he slows down. You are able to sit up on your knees, letting him fuck up into you. Joe links your hand with his and holds them against the tree.

"My pretty girl. So fucking pretty." He kisses the back of your neck.

"Say it. Say you're my pretty girl."

"I'm your pretty girl." You cry out, squeezing his hand. Joe lets go of you and tells you to lay on your back. You reposition and open your legs, allowing him back in. This time Joe kisses you senselessly while he fucks you. He whispers over and over how much he loves you. And you start crying. You full-on sob as Joe cums into you. He pulls out and looks at you, confused. You hide your face from the embarrassment of having a random breakdown. But every time Joe confesses his love to you, it hits you right in the heart.

"I love you so much, Joseph." You sniffle. He leans down, letting you cup his face.

"I love you more than my own life. I'm sorry I ruined lunch." He chuckles, kissing your hand. You shake your head. You're full of food, cum, covered in sweat, and smells of Joe; there is nothing that is ruined. Joe stands up and picks you up bridal style.

"I'm sleepy."

"Baby. We just started. I need to get my work out in somewhere. Plus, babies don't make themselves!"

"Joseph, wait!" You squeal as he takes off in a sprint to the cabin.

It isn't until 8 pm that you emerge from the cabin to clean up the picnic. You can barely stand but need to get things cleaned up before the animals come. Lucky for you, the food is untouched and still in the basket. You grab the clothes, blanket, and basket and return to the cabin. Joe is sitting in the living room on facetime with his brother.

"Tell my sister-in-law I said hello!" His brother shouts. Joe holds up the phone, and you wave. Joe hangs up with his brother and meets you in the kitchen.

"How about we go for a swim later."

"My legs can't handle that right now." You giggle, leaning against him. Joe rubs your back and hums. He reaches down in his shorts, clutching the bright blue Tiffany's ring box. Joe knows the idea of marriage scares you. When you first started dating, you told him that marriage was off the table, but you would be open to cohabitation if it led to that. Joe was completely thrown off during that part, and let's say the first date was the last date. That was until you met again at a college party. That was seven years ago. You guys have broken up and gotten back together. So just maybe, things have changed. Joe didn't just want to make you a mother. He wanted you as his wife too. Even if it's only a thing on paper, as you say, Joe wanted that.

"Did you hear me?" You ask, bringing him back to reality.

"Uhh, sorry. What's up?"

"I'm going to be pretty pregnant, right? Do you think I could pull off Rihanna type looks?"

"Of course. You'd be prettier than her."

"Let's not get carried away, Joseph. No one is touching mother." You laugh, walking away. Joe squeezes the box. It's now or never. He gets down on his knee while your back is turned.

"There's this little vegan place in town. Let's have dinner there. Urgh, but it's really hard to find a good vegan place and the reviews kinda suck." You complain closing the fridge. Joe panics and puts the box back in his pocket.

"Why are you on the floor?"

"Just looking at the dust." Joe gets up, laughing. You eye him suspiciously but let him go.

"Let me fix my hair, and then we can go," Joe says, rushing out of the room. You lean against the counter, scrolling Twitter waiting for your boyfriend to return. Joe stuffs the box into a random door and sighs. He's afraid you'll leave him again if he brings up marriage. Maybe it was just better to be with you like this. Joe hopes Tiffany's have a return policy for rings purchased two years ago.

[psychrodraws]

Hello! May I have paldea trio headcannons?

(Or Arvpen headcannons, I need them)

Also yes, I am @indigodiskmybeloved this is my main ;-;

Hell yeah! This is… a lot. I think about this a lot. Way too much. Buckle up.

When Nemona’s with Penny, she’s the one who tries to pull her out of her shell a bit. She loves Penny’s snark and bite, how she’s willing to speak her mind about anything that bothers her, and Nemo doesn’t want to see that side of her be repressed. It’s a struggle, sometimes a lot more than others, but Nemona strives to be the confident hand that Penny can take while she finds her footing in the world. Her sygna suit was a cheerleader for a reason! However, she can find herself needing to take her foot off the gas, so to speak. When Nemona gets a bit too intense, it can make Penny clam up and just try to weather the sudden shift in energy. When Penny first snapped at Nemona to take it down a notch or twelve, Penny thought Nemona might cry- but Nemona was just so happy to see Penny willing to speak up! All of this has had a marked improvement on her confidence! Penny’s been finding herself talking to people a lot more, battling a lot more, even being the one to call her father first! It takes a lot out of her, but bit by bit and day by day, it takes ever so slightly less. Nemona couldn’t be prouder of her.

 But when Penny’s just really, really not feeling it, Nemona has no problem doing something a bit more low-key. She can’t really sit still long enough to just veg out and watch some anime, maybe if it’s a high-action anime, so they usually play video games together. Nemona is… not really that good at them! :D Penny goes easy on her. If the three of them are playing together, Arven does not, so Penny has to keep him down. Regardless, she has a ton of fun with them, with no real regard for winning or losing. Her favorite is Mario Kart, where she plays as Rosalina- tall girl solidarity, she likes playing Smash Brothers as Kirby because he’s cute, she doesn’t really get Minecraft and Splatoon makes her motion sick. Any other games Penny has are either single player or… way too violent for poor little Nemona. 

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Nemona and Arven, on the other hand, are quite the opposite. Arven can take Nemona’s intense energy a lot better than Penny, so she does NOT hold back. On the one hand, Arven’s grateful for this. He’s touched that Nemona feels safe to be herself around her, and he wouldn’t want to jeopardize that for the world. On the other hand, oh my god she’s so intense dude. Battle after battle, that fire deep within Nemona’s heart in full blaze can make anyone sweat. Of course, all of this has Nemona over the moon. Very thankfully, after about oh, five or six battles, Nemona’s usually down to take a sandwich break. This is a good chance for them to slow down and just spend a bit of time together, without a fifty-feet war-zone of Rock Slides and Thunders between them. Nemona has that Shaggy metabolism, I’m saying it here, that girl can EAT and still stay quite thin.

 Arven loves making his partners food, and puts a ton of thought and care into what he makes them- for Nemo, it’s usually something simple and healthy, well-balanced with lots of protein. A nice BLT with some homemade mayo, or an egg salad sandwich. However, they might not even be done making their sandwich before Nemona’s ready for seconds, but no worries, she can do it herself, she insists every time… and every time, Arven can hardly watch. Throwing together random ingredients with no regard for structure or… taste, stacked way too high on pieces of bread way too small, and she eats the monstrosity just as readily as the first, lovingly crafted sandwich. Nemona and Penny tell him he doesn’t have to bottle up his emotions around them. He chooses to bottle up the emotions this makes him feel. How a girl from such a rich and refined family can have such a… resilient palette is beyond them. Still, whatever makes her happy, makes them happy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

alright bastards worst for last Arven and Penny, now that’s one hell of a combination. Things were not great at first, oh man. Their defenses of a nasty attitude and passive-aggressive teasing bounced right off Nemona, she got close to them by being completely immune to their toxins. Arven and Penny, however, felt like an old married couple staying together until the kids go off to college. That changed when one day, they got snippy with each other over god knows what. Arven got up to do some cooking, while Penny stayed on their bed to watch some anime on her phone. They didn’t talk, but merely co-existed. These same mundane thing they’d done a million times before were tinted with a loneliness so familiar they didn’t even recognize it was there anymore- until it wasn’t. They were trying so hard to “make it work” that they couldn’t realize they didn’t need to try at all. Slowly but surely, they came together more and more, not forcing themselves to partake in absolutely everything about the other. Arven didn’t really care for Penny’s weird anime about freaky angels and robots, Penny couldn’t stand the feeling of washing dirt off vegetables. And that was okay! Great, even! Not everything had to be a battle, and if they wanted to do their own thing, simply doing their own thing on opposite sides of the room was enough! 

Of course, they do have plenty in common. Penny was flabbergasted to find out Arven was actually pretty good at video games- “Penny, I’m also a loser with no friends, did you forget?” Some of her cooking anime actually quite intrigued Arven, and Penny’s knowledge of Pokemon husbandry came in quite handy in getting a hold of some of his rowdier Pokemon, like his Scovillain and… really just his Scovillain. i dont ljke her.  Penny found out she kinda really liked baking, being a lot less sensory and a lot more measurement and timing reliant than cooking- the sweets at the end weren’t a bad motivator either. She didn’t even hate going on hikes with Arven, as long as he carried her when she got tired, they got a lunch break at least an hour into the hike but preferably closer to 30 minutes, and they got the trail mix with the peanut butter chips. They can still find each other a bit tiring, Arven’s bottomless attitude and Penny’s razor tongue, but it’s worth it in the end, because deep down, they both really are two sweethearts under a thousand sour shells. 

Oh, and uh, Arven basically makes her anything she wants. Penny has a lot of foods and textures she avoids due to sensory issues pertaining to autism, so the same way Nemona tries to draw Penny out of her emotional shell, Arven tries to draw her out of her culinary shell. It’s a lot of trial and error, emphasis on the error, but Nemona has no issues with whatever leftovers may arise. As you might see from my art, I HC Penny as being a bit fat, because speaking totally neutrally here, it doesn’t make sense for her to be a thin anime moe twig with her lifestyle, like Mr. Poe K. Mon when I get my hands on you I swear to god- sorry. Anyways, Penny can be a bit self-conscious about her eating habits, but of all the things Arven will tease and poke fun at her for, food’s not one of them. Arven will never, never be the reason anyone goes hungry. If all Penny can get down is some reheated spaghetti or a simple PB&J, he has it ready without batting an eye. also Penny being open about being trans made Arven realize he’s genderfluid bite me

Okay and now rapid fire little headcanons:

-None of these idiots are good at kissing they’re all too proud/embarrassed to look up a guide on wikihow

-Nemona has simple pet names, big on “babe/baby.” Penny’s not too big on giving or receiving names, reminds her too much of her father’s nicknames, but Arven gets the “Arvee” a lot from both of them. I made the regrettable and sinful decision to make my Arven Kalosian, so Nemona is his “beautiful Aurorus” and Penny his “little Sylveon”

-Arven doesn’t use she/her pronouns too too often, but is okay with being called their girlfriend, especially if it’s funny. They’re willing to change gender for the bit.

-Penny isn’t a cuddler. Not adverse to it, but not crazy about it. She’s often on one side of the bed while the other two cling to each other like Komala with their logs.

-Arven’s blind in the eye they cover, and doing eyeliner with one eye is very hard. They can do it by themselves, but if Nemona or Penny are there that morning, by god they’re the ones who’re gonna do it.

If you’re still reading dont forget to like and follow ring that bell i post about these idiots and their other girlfriend I invented way too much

[thedepressexpress]

hi! when I get depressed it's really hard to make sure I'm eating as much as I should so here are some things I eat when I don't have the energy to do shit

these are depression meals so they are in no way balanced and an ideal diet, this is to get you through it. if you have depression, some of these on your shopping list are a good idea. I update this list whenever I remember something

I'm also assuming the only equipment you have is a bowl, spoon, sink, microwave and at most, a can opener. in no particular order:

granola bars and adjacent things like nuts, dried fruit, etc

frozen sausages: break them in half and microwave, if they're too cold to break you can run them under hot water or leave them out for a couple minutes, you need the break them or they might explode

canned corn: open and eat with a spoon, you can strain and microwave if you want it hot

cheese: put it in a bowl and microwave till it melts or till it's crispy, your choice but if you do just cheese don't use a porous bowl

instant noodles: don't use a pan, use a bowl, empty the contents in the bowl, add water till at least half of the noodle thing is submerged, microwave for 2-4 minutes, mix and eat

regular noodles: use a bigger bowl than you normally would, add some dry pasta to it and enough water to cover the pasta but not much more, it might overflow, and microwave for a few minutes more than the package says to boil, drain the water and put in whatever, condiment, sauce, cheese, sausages, frozen veggies, and microwave again, it's more time intensive but also more nutrients so

canned beans: you can eat as is if it comes in a sauce, but if you got the ones with the clear liquid you can strain and rinse and if you don't have a strainer, open the can just a little from the tab and open a faucet, let the water run into the can and adjust the position of the lid till the water can go in without any of the beans coming out, it'll dissolve the liquid and it'll flow out, leave it for a bit then shake it, turn it upside to drain, let it refill then leave it again, repeat till the water over flowing isn't that weird liquid

crackers/biscuits: keep a stash of biscuits that you can eat, bonus if you can eat them with milk or tea or coffee or juice

juice: buy your favorite and keep a bottle in the fridge or frozen if you suspect you're starting to spiral and might need it in a few hours

readymade meals: whenever you go to do your grocery shopping, buy just one premade meal

vegetables: keep a vegetable you like that you can eat raw like cucumbers or carrots

fruits: keep a fruit you know you can eat or you know you can drown in something else, for example I don't like apples but I can eat them if they're covered in peanut butter

sweets: you can keep a favorite hard candy to get yourself salivating idk for me if helps activate some hunger while getting rid of the painful part of being hungry

butters and spreads: you can find premade sandwich spread with chicken in them, or jams or spreads that are savory like peanut/almond/cashew butter or sweet like a chocolate/vanilla spread

rice: if you make rice and ever have some left over you can freeze it and eat it later, you can also do that with rice in a bag

tofu: you can eat it raw as long as you drain the liquid it comes with

condiments: almost all of these things can be improved or 'seasoned' with ketchup, mayo, mustard, ranch, tartar sauce, marinara, etc. it'll give some flavor and make it taste better but don't microwave sauces unless they're properly mixed with the food especially mayo based ones, they can get weird

frozen vegetables: any time you're using the microwave to make these things, throw in a handful of frozen vegetables and microwave for a little longer

cereal: pair cereal with foods like yogurt instead of milk, you can add chocolate drink powder to the yogurt before adding the cereal which is really nice, you can also make it directly in the yogurt container if it's small enough

electrolytes: you can make them a bottle using two dashes of salt (1/4 tsp), a 2second squeeze of a honey bottle (2 tsp) and some kind of juice for a better flavor

potatoes: stab them all around with a fork, microwave for about six minutes, turn it over then microwave again, keeping microwaving and turning till it's soft on the inside and you can eat it

order out: if you can afford to order food, order it, some tips to get the most out of what you order 1. order a family box of food to store in the fridge 2. when you microwave it, do it with some water in a glass with your bowl/food in the microwave

if opening the tab on a can is keeping you from eating, try this. it'll open the can, you can use a knife, the back of a spoon, etc.

if it keeps you from spiraling, it's worth doing. and if it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly. eating something is better than eating nothing.

hope this helps, if you can, please add more things!

[slamminslamminmcgill]

MAN I LOVE UR WRITING I NEED MORE JIMMY MCGILL NOWWW!!!!! that’s unhinged im so sorry

anyways if ur still taking requests i beg u to write smthn abt Goodman helping a client (client is transmasc and tatted and pieced as fuck (me)) with weed possession and he wins the case cus he’s Saul Goodman obviously. after they celebrate with a joint and they have some nasty high sex. like imagining Saul coughing on a joint and being like “damn kid this shit’s strong.. let’s fuck” makes me shensudbwjwbs 🙏🙏

anyways have a good day/night man, congrats on graduating!!! :))

HIIIII im also tatted and pierced so this is personal 2 me 😌🖤 kinda took the piercing idea and ran with it teehee

didn’t wanna describe any specific tattoos but i included some piercing mentions (nipples, septum, tongue, vch for plot relevance >:3c)

this is also way longer than a usual drabble so plbbbbbt

warning: intox kink (weed), light degradation

anatomical terms: clit/dick/cock, pussy, hole

“In light of this new evidence, the court has decided to drop all charges against the defendant.”

Slam dunk. Saul did it again. He’d managed to convince the judge that the cop who arrested you for marijuana possession had conducted an illegal search. He got you off. You were grateful that you wouldn’t have this looming over your head for the rest of your life. So grateful, in fact, that you hugged him as soon as you two stepped out of the courtroom.

“Ah, don’t mention it, kid. Least I could do for you.” He smiled and patted your back. He’d actually taken quite a liking to you while working on your case. You reminded him of his Slippin’ Jimmy days back in Chicago. A naïve 20-something with an affinity for pot and a less than stellar relationship with the law. He hoped he could steer you on the right path, and maybe have some fun with you too. “Say, you’re actually my last client for today. You wanna grab some food with me or something? Maybe Peter Parker’s girlfriend could join us.”

You snorted. Mary Jane. That was your code for inviting each other to smoke, which ironically you'd done frequently while working on your case. You pushed yourself off his chest and smiled up at him. “Sure. I’d like that.”

You two sat in the parking lot of Los Pollos Hermanos hotboxing his luxury car, passing a joint back and forth with greasy fingers. You took a bite of your sandwich, and a glob of chipotle mayo fell onto your nice, clean dress shirt.

"Aw, man." You groaned, before remembering you didn't need to impress anyone anymore. You shrugged, "Eh, whatever," and untied your tie, no doubt getting chicken grease all over the fabric. Then, you unbuttoned and untucked your ruined shirt, wiped the mayo off with a napkin, and tossed it behind you, leaving you in a tank top undershirt with your arm tattoos exposed. "God, I hate wearing long sleeves. I don't know how you can wear full suits in weather like this. Feel like I'm suffocating."

"You get used to it." Saul laughed and cranked the A/C for you. "I just wasn't sure if the judge would appreciate your ink as much as I do. Wanted to make sure you had the 'perfect little darling' look, y'know? Some people are close-minded like that. Least you don't have to anymore." He passed you the joint. His eyes trailed up your forearms to your chest, where he saw two barbells poking through your shirt. "Woah, hey! You got your high beams on! I'm surprised you didn't set off the metal detector with those!"

You had no idea what he was talking about, "Huh?", until your eyes followed his and you looked down. "Oh! Oh yeah, I figured I wouldn't have to take those ones out."

"Well, they look good on you. Not a lot of dudes can pull them off." Saul took a sip of his drink, ice sloshing as he put it down in the cup holder. "How many piercings you got, anyway?"

You ran through your list nonchalantly. “Not counting the ones on my ears, I have four. Septum, tongue, both nipples, and-“ You stopped yourself short and froze. The other piercing was a VCH. Vertical clit hood. If you told him that, you’d be outing yourself. You decided the best move was to say nothing else. He was a smart guy. Let him figure it out.

And he did. “Oh, ho! Naughty boy! You got a Prince Albert or something?" He elbowed you. "Chicks must be ALL over you."

You grimaced, hoping it looked like a nervous smile. "Not exactly..."

"Hm. Tell you what." Saul lit the joint, hit it, and passed it to you. "I'll buy you an eighth if you show me."

You nearly dropped the joint on your leg when he said that. "What?! Are you serious?!"

"Dead serious! I wanna know if I'm missing out! Maybe I should get one." You anxiously took a puff as he spoke with confidence. Confidence that was unwarranted; he had no clue what he was getting into. "Look, I got a guy and his stuff is the shit. It'll be worth it, I promise. You just whip it out, lemme see, put it back, and I'll hook you up. Hell, I'll even knock some off the money you owe me."

You did the cost benefit analysis in your head. Free weed plus less debt to your lawyer, and all you have to do is show him your pussy? Would it really be so bad? He really wasn't the judgmental type. He'd definitely ogle, but surely he'd understand. You sighed. "Okay. I'll do it." You took one more hit of the joint and passed it to him before you unbuckled your belt. "Just so you know, though, it's probably not what you're expecting."

Saul scoffed. "Kid, I've seen a lot of crazy things in my day. Unless your dick has a radio antenna sticking out of it or something, I think I can handle it."

You ignored his sass and worked on undressing yourself. You slid your pants off, and crossed your legs so he wouldn't see the lack of bulge in your underwear. Then, you looked over at him. "Ready?"

"Ready." He answered smugly.

You uncrossed your legs and tugged your underwear down. Your clothes pooled around your ankles, and you kicked your shoes off to free yourself. Now for the reveal. You turned your body to face him, scooted forwards, and opened your legs, hooking one behind the driver's seat, and the other propped on the dashboard. You spread your lips and showed him your, rather unconventional, dick piercing. The metal barbell stared him right in the face, and he stared back, mouth agape.

"Oh my god..."

You could see the gears turning in his head. His eyes flicked back and forth from your junk, to your face, and then back to your junk. For a man who loved the sound of his own voice, it was rare for him to be left truly speechless, but you'd done it. It was honestly quite the confidence boost.

You smirked. "Well? Is it everything you hoped for?"

"Yeah... Yeah it is..." He answered breathlessly. His mind was screaming at him not to fuck this up.

"Got anything to say? Any questions, comments, or-"

Saul butted in the middle of your sentence. Apparently, he did have something important to say. "Can I touch it?" He blurted out.

You knew exactly where this was going, and you were gonna enjoy the ride. "Sure, go for it." You took the joint and the lighter from him, leaving his hands free to explore.

Saul leaned over and brushed his hand against your skin, not fully making contact with the piercing just yet, essentially just rubbing his fingers up your slit. He was taking his time. He was warming you up. "This is... This is incredible. God, you're... you're really something else kid."

You took a hit of the joint and sighed on the exhale. From his gentle touch and praise to the haze of the weed, you were plenty warm already. Once he thought the same, he pressed his thumb against the barbell and flicked it up. Your whole body jolted and you gasped. "Ah!"

"You alright?" He asked, not pulling his hand away. He kept it firmly in position, ready to strike again.

"Y-Yeah, just-" He did it again, "Ngh... just be careful it's-" and again, "ah... it's sensitive..." and again.

He chuckled. "I can tell. Is that why you got it? You like the extra stimulation?"

"Mhm..." You nodded.

"Heh... slut." He pressed his thumb down hard and rubbed you in quick circles. "Keep smoking. I'm gonna have fun with you."

"O-Okayyy..." You whimpered and lit the joint while he teased you, watching him with wanting eyes as you climbed higher and higher. The smoke left your body and carried a sigh of pleasure out with it.

Keeping his thumb on your cock, he scooped his other fingers down and prodded at your hole. "Aw, look at you. You're already wet for me? That's precious." He slipped two inside without resistance, cooing to you as he pumped them in and out, savoring your pathetic whines and tremors. "Oh, now that's a good boy. C'mon, take another hit."

You took another drag, and while your lungs were full of smoke, he shot his fingers up against your g-spot. You moaned for half a second before choking on your hit. You coughed and waved the smoke out of your face, scrambling for some semblance of composure. "You dick! You did that on purp-ohhh..."

Saul kept working his hand, laughing at how easy it was to shut you up. "Yeah. Yeah, I did, but don't act like you don't love it." He leaned in and kissed your cheek before whispering right to you, making sure you could hear him over your own body. "Hear that? Hear how wet you are for me? That's how I know you love it. Whore." He tilted your face towards him and caught you in a kiss. You let his tongue invade your mouth and take what he wanted, a trail of spit connected you two as he broke off. "You like getting filled up, huh, boy?"

Your voice was a high-pitched, desperate whine. "Y-Yes..."

"Yeah? I bet you like getting fucked in your tight little pussy, too, is that right? You like it when a big, strong, man puts his cock in you and uses you like a cheap sex doll?"

Another slam dunk. He was right on the money. "Yes! Yes! Oh, fuck, yes!"

He flashed a sinister grin. "Good boy." He pulled his hand out of you and went for his own belt. He yanked his pants down, showing off a noteworthy tent in his boxers. You didn't get much of a look before those were off too, but the sight of what was underneath was far better. "Gimme the joint." He demanded as he stroked his cock in preparation.

You'd do anything he said. You handed him the joint and the lighter without a second thought.

"Good boy." He took a hit and blew the smoke in your direction. "So," He took a second to cough, "what you're gonna do is you're gonna sit on my cock and bounce that pretty little ass of yours on it. You think you can do that?"

There were no words left in your mind. You were an animal, acting purely on instinct. He gave the order, and immediately you climbed into his lap, bumping into the steering wheel a few times as you tried to situate yourself. Saul offered no assistance, he just continued with the joint. Fortunately, you managed to get into position without help, and you sunk down onto his cock.

"Oh! Oh my-Mmph!"

He used your wide open mouth as an opportunity to shotgun you. He blew the smoke into you and let it fill the parts of your body that he couldn't reach. You gripped his shoulders and squeezed him like you were trying to pop him. When he pulled back, you dropped your head onto his shoulder and whined.

"There we go. You feel so good, baby boy." He kissed your head and rubbed your back, comforting you as you settled into him. "Now," He yanked you up by your hair to look him in the eyes.

"Hold on tight. Cause I'm gonna take you for a ride..."

[trashmouth-richie]

WE’RE THE LAST IN LINE: PART 6

Eddie x female! Reader

Modern AU

W.C 2.3k

Warning: no minors, fluff

masterlist

It had been a week since Chrissy graced you both with her presence and Eddie’s phone wasn’t blowing up at all. He was suspicious, rendering himself crazy into thinking that she just disappeared. She would never. But he put a brave face on for you. Anything to see you happy was more than enough for him. He wanted to take things slow, afraid you would get freaked out eventually by the shit that happened with Chrissy and what had originally brought you two together, Jason. You were special to him, meant more to him than anyone currently in his life. And he wanted you to be a part of it. Whatever that may mean for you. But for now— he was going to take it slow.

Monday and Wednesday he showed up to your apartment with an iced coffee, and a lemon poppy seed muffin at 6 AM. Sleep still stuck in your eyes, hair a complete disaster but Eddie thought you never looked prettier. Leaving you with a kiss on your forehead and a wink as he left to head into the shop. He would text you every morning around the time you got to work, telling you good morning and wishing you had a nice day at work. Tuesday and Thursday he had stopped by your work to eat lunch with you. Bringing sandwiches and chips from the new modern sandwich shack on Main Street, making you laugh as you wiped mayo from his chin. You loved his thoughtfulness, yearning for more from him.

He had made it a habit to stop over after he got off work, apologizing profusely for when it was late. He never overstayed his welcome, just popped in and out, leaving you with the tightest hug anyone could have given you and the world’s most award winning smile.

The kiss you had shared the week prior was sweet as sugar, a light at the end of the tunnel after a complete shit filled day wracked with a confession of his horrible past and the decaying face of his ex. It was everything you had needed in that moment in time, but you were craving more.

“You okay?” He asks, rubbing your back one night as he gives you his usual hug goodbye. His lips pressed against your hair as you rested your head on his chest, breathing him in, not wanting to let go.

“Eddie, do you like me?”

A chuckle reverberates against his throat, “what do you mean sweetheart?”

Pulling away from him and looking into his smoky brown eyes you say, “I mean, do you like me? Or did I do something to turn you off from me?”

Eddie’s eyes water to empathetic, “God no, I — the things that happened to us—to you, how we met, it’s a—”

“I get it. It’s fine..” you say, pulling away from him. Wrapping your arms around yourself and turning your back to him. You can’t help when the tears begin to fall. “I just thought that you, that we were I don’t know… on the same page?”

Was he scared? Afraid that you didn’t want him? Didn’t need him? Afraid that you had a glimpse of his everyday life and decided that it wasn’t for you?

“Sweetheart,” Eddie said, turning you around, placing his hands on your cheeks, skimming away your tears with the pads of his thumbs. “I like you so much it melts my brain whenever I think of you. I’m just—trying not to come on too strong, I don’t want to scare you away.”

“Wh— Eddie?”

“You have been through a lot, and I didn’t want to overstep your boundaries and make you uncomfortable. What happened last week was…insane, we talked about it but I guess we never talked about how you felt about it.”

Your mind plagues over with the sagging flesh of Chrissy’s face. You would be lying if you said you weren’t terrified at times, waking in the night with skin slicked with sweat, hair matted to your neck. But that wasn’t Eddie’s fault, he can’t help what his ex is like, it’s not like he is that way. Eddie is sweet and kind, a perfect gentleman. Not to mention hotter than the seven layers of hell themselves.

“I was serious when I said that nothing in your past could deter me away from you. Those are things that happened to you, not things you had control over. I—you, you saved me! Who knows what J—he— would have done if you weren’t there that night. You didn’t even know me but you jumped right into helping me. Talking to Hopper, calling our building manager to get the security footage— Eddie you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met.” You’re full on crying now, using the sleeve of your hoodie to wipe at your tears. His eyes are full, taking you in, heart aching for you.

He leans in, caressing your cheek against his rough hands. “I’m sorry, you doubted how I felt, let me make it up to you.”

Friday was a normal day at work, a few clients today nothing spectacular, a couple of piercings, and Pete had a giant back piece to finish. You were sitting at the reception desk answering a customer’s question about placement for a nose ring when in walked a giant order of white roses, clad with orange and black balloons and a gorgeous basket filled with enough candy and shooters to make a dentist wince. You blushed hard as the delivery driver handed them over to you. The card was shoved tight into the center of the roses.

“Talked to Pete and I got you off work at 12, be ready at 2 for a date, see you soon pretty girl -Eddie”

Your heart sang with the sweet melody of Eddie Munson. He was gentle and sweet and everything you could ever ask for. You were giddy as you piled the balloons and roses into your car and sped home. It was the perfect day outside, a warmer day for the end of October, the autumn foliage blazing against the sky as the leaves clung for dear life to the windy branches against a cerulean sky.

This was the first official date for you and Eddie, technically the 30 seconds of the movie night that you enjoyed before Chrissy bombarded his apartment was your first date but you wouldn’t be counting that.

Like clockwork, a knock on your door at 2PM could only be one person. That damn grin. You swear he gets better looking by the second. “There she is,” Eddie murmurs, “girl of my dreams.”

You reach out to him and pull him into a hug, your hands wrapped around his neck as you stretch for more of him on your tippy toes. He smells like a new cologne, an amber moss with notes of citrus and bergamot. He’s wearing a black and gray flannel, pushed up tight around his bulging arms. His large hands wrap around the small of your back, pressing you flush with his body, He feels so good, warm and holding you tight, his hair tickling your ears.

“I missed you,” he admits, “that’s not weird is it? I mean I literally saw you last night.”

You chuckle and pull away from him planting a kiss on his plump lips, “definitely not weird, thank you for the roses. They’re beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful,” he says, stroking your cheek. “Not sure if you know this, but I’m a stuttering blubbering mess when you’re around.”

“Yeah I’ve noticed—“ Eddie’s face blushes to crimson, “And I think it’s super cute that the hottest guy I’ve ever seen gets flustered when he tries to flirt with me.” A smile spreads across your lips.

“The hottest guy huh?” Eddie says behind his curtain of brown curls.

“Duh! Do you own a mirror?” You tease, “you are so handsome I used to stare unapologetically whenever you came into Ace of Spades. Then I get to know you and you’re funny, and kind…sexy.”

“Jeez baby keep it in your pants, I’m a good christian boy here.” He says, swooping you low into a backwards dip and kissing your lips. “I noticed you too by the way,” standing you upright again and holding you close, murmuring into your hair, “just too awkward and in my own head to make the first move.”

“You awkward?” You tease, “no way.”

Eddie tickles your sides, fingers curled into your ribs and by your neck, you’re giggling and trying to get away from him and he’s laughing too. “Alright! You win!” You say breathless and wrapping your arms around his neck.

He brushes hair behind your ear and holds your back tight against him. “In more ways than you know, sweetheart.”

“So where are we going?” You asked from the passenger seat of Eddie’s 4Runner, a ridiculous amount of little trees in the scent Black Ice hung from the review mirror as Metallica blared through the speakers.

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” Eddie smirks, flashing his pearly whites.

Pulling up to Merrill’s Pumpkin Patch n’ More, Eddie has a giant grin splattered on his face. “I’ve always wanted to come here, but figured it would be weird going by myself…nobody wants to see a grown man go down the giant slide by himself.”

“Probably think he’s some sort of a creep,” you tease, “or maybe a serial killer?”

“Ooh that’s festive, very in the spirit of Halloween.”

Merrill’s was bigger than you had expected it to be. Like most things in Hawkins, it was staple in the 80’s, sort of dwindled down to almost being closed but nothing a few hipsters with an impressive amount of followers on instagram couldn’t fix. The rustic vibes had people driving all the way from the city just to get a taste of nostalgia in this worn down, weathered but also now modern, establishment. Spreading along for acres were orange spheres of every shape and size. Even the ones that were different colors, muted greens, Cinderella blue, alabaster, and coal black. There was an apple orchard on the east side where you could pick your own apples, a giant Cider Mill on the north side that doubled as an eatery and a place with home brewed apple ale. A corn maze stretching over 10 acres, where the winner could win tickets to the movie theater and a freshly made apple or pumpkin pie. Activities for the kids included: the giant slide, corn pit, pumpkin painting, pumpkin carving, you name it—Merrill’s had it.

“Eddie this is fantastic!” You say, crunching into a caramel apple, “seriously, the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten.”

He’s pulling orange tufts of sugary cotton candy out of his hair, he licks his fingers and takes a bite of his foot long corn dog. “Right? It’s like every enjoyable thing about summer minus the heat!”

You were having the best time, it’s so easy spending time with Eddie, he made you laugh any chance he got. He held your hand all the way through the corn maze, swearing he knew the way out only for you to be in the maze for over 2 hours and very, very lost. His tongue poked out when he was concentrating carving his pumpkin, a flight of bats, as you carved ghost face. He dunked his entire head in the barrel while bobbing for apples, leaving his head sopping wet, and shaking his hair like a dog would to try to dry it out. He was chaotic and sweet, caring but also didn’t give a shit what anyone had thought of him. He was perfect in every way.

“Did you have fun? Eddie asked lugging a wagon full of pumpkins of every color Merrill’s had to offer behind him.

“Are you kidding? Hands down the most fun I’ve had in Hawkins, ever.”

You’re carrying two pies, because Eddie couldn’t decide which one he wanted but didn’t want to leave one out. A gallon of cider in one hand in the wagon handle in his other hand he smiles, “I’m glad you agreed to come with me.”

You turn your head to look at him, winking as you say, “I’m glad you finally asked.”

Loading up the back of his 4Runner you slide the last of the pumpkins in. Eddie leans back against the them, bringing you between his legs, holding your hands, rubbing the knuckles with the pads of his thumbs. “I’m— I’m not very good at this. I’m super awkward and I get flustered whenever I’m around you,” his tongue sweeps over his bottom lip as he looks into your eyes—two orbs of melted chocolate dripping with happiness, “I haven’t dated anyone since— and I’m not even sure if I’m doing this right…you’re beautiful and sassy and I care about you more than you could ever understand,” tears prick the corners of your eyes, “I would really love, if we took this to the next step, and you would be my girlfriend.”

This gorgeous man. God he would be the death of you. You lean forward and plant your lips on his, deepening the kiss by running your hands through his curls, your tongue slipping inside his mouth, dancing with his. “I take that as a yes.” Eddie purrs into your neck. You hold eachother for what seems like hours. Taking eachother in for everything you’re worth.

“So this is it huh? Fancy fuckin’ broad ain’t she?”

“Shh, there’s cameras all over this building— that’s how they caught Jason.”

“They caught Jason because he’s sloppy— couldn’t even wait til she opened the door… rookie mistake.”

“Quiet, this will be trickier than normal… Fred is right, this place is loaded with cameras and high tech shit, I had to see what we were dealing with.”

“That why you made a little surprise visit last week?”

“Yup, Jason told me she was his neighbor but I didn’t know where— thankfully he was able to swipe her file from HR before they fired him… see you soon princess.”

—

Taglist: Taglist: @boomhauer @sidthedollface2 @b-irock @creoleguurl @tlclick73 @manda-panda-monium @audhd-dragonaut @emxxblog @jadequeen88 @edsforehead @quinnsgrapejuice @idkidknemore @bebe0701 @mandyjo8719 @chelebelletx @big-ope-vibes @e0509 @itsasilentreader @adequate-superstar @bpj519 @eddiemunsons-world @aysheashea @chonkzombie @vecnuthy @eddiethesexy @foreveranexpatsposts @makeupqueen89-blog @brittanyyydamnit @itsasilentreader @danielasspiritualjourney

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #242

I got to bed relatively on time last night. I still woke up groggy as heck, because that is the nature of sleep deprivation injuries; it'll be at least a week or two before my brain fully recovers; such is the nature of the brain cleaning cycle. Oh well.

Nonetheless, I had a lot of fun at work today! There was, along with Mi, Ma, and I, another lady named Tr, and the whole day was filled with laughter and delightful banter as we did our various tasks; it was wonderful!

I'm always amazed at how quickly the time passes while I'm there. I'm always busy, always moving from one task to the next, always moving around, so the four hours pass by in a flash, and I'm always just a little sad when it's time to go home.

They asked me to make muffins again today, and with the practice I got from my first time doing it, I was a lot better at it this time! I even found a more efficient way of filling and leveling off the muffin scoop, and so I was able to fill the muffin tin a lot more quickly than last time, and with far more consistency! The muffin batter was then baked. Here they are in the giant walk-in oven; it's not a great picture, I know, but I couldn't really do anything about the glare...

...And here are the results of my handiwork:

...Aren't they beautiful? Someone's gonna go home with a box of these, and that makes me really happy!

I also put muffins that were previously baked into boxes. Each of these shelves have 6 boxes that contain 4 muffins each. And I filled even more shelves than these today:

...We have them in so many different flavors! We've got pistachio, chocolate, pumpkin, banana-nut, apple cinnamon, corn, and so many more. The ones I baked were cranberry muffins. They're not my favorite, but they're someone's favorite, and that makes me feel really glad.

I like this job. I like the repetitive certainty of the routine tasks. I like the diligence and precision of a job well done. I like knowing that my manager is delighted to watch me learn, and is proud of the efficiency and conscientiousness with which I work. I like knowing that I will only continue to improve. I like knowing that I am working with others towards a shared purpose. I like knowing that I am capable of improving the processes that are used in service to that purpose. And I like knowing that someone is gonna go home with a box of delicious things that were wrought from my own hands.

J requested that I get sandwich supplies on the way home, so I did. I got deli sliced chicken, roast beef, genoa salami, and cheese, along with a loaf of seeded rye bread. With these, I made a sandwich!!! And I put truffle mayo on it, because why not!

Either it was a sandwich of epic awesomeness, or I was just hungry. Either way, it was awesome and I loved it!! I wish I could make one for you!

Hey, Sephiroth? What kind of sandwiches do you like, anyway? What kind of toppings and dressings do you like to put on them? I wonder...

In any case, we went to a birthday party shortly after that. Our friend Mer's birthday was today, and so she decided to gather up a bunch of her friends to eat tasty snacks and play board games! It's nice to know that J and I are on the list of people she considers friends! We played a card game called Boss Monster; basically you're the monster ruler of your very own dungeon that you build out of cards that represent rooms! I ended up getting an entity called, uh... Seducia... I guess. Hahahaha!

But I didn't really have much interest in killing adventurers or winning the game. I just built a party dungeon. I had a ballroom, and a menagerie of rescued critters, and a room that makes people silly, a room with an all-seeing eye, and a room with a lich dragon who is basically an interior designer! I had a cleric come by to try to kill me, because presumably, he thought my entity was too sexy to live (typical...), but he didn't succeed.

I like to think that instead of dying in my "dungeon", he simply changed his mind and decided that trying to kill me is silly, so instead he went to the ballroom and got a sandwich! Sandwiches are sensible. Violence is not. And then I like to think that he decided my dungeon is so awesome that he didn't wanna go home. Because the outside world is a cold and terrible place devoid of sandwiches!!! Or at least, devoid of sandwiches that are as good as the ones I can make!!! Ahahahaha~!!

The whole game was very silly, but fun. I was super sleepy at the end of it, though, so I sat in a recliner for the rest of the evening. I ended up falling asleep in it, even though I didn't mean to. I'm still pretty groggy, even after a number of hours of being home. Suppose I should at least try to go to bed relatively on time...

...In the spirit of that, I guess I'll end today's letter here.

Hey, Sephiroth? Are you staying safe where you are? If you're not, please try a little harder, okay? I don't want to have to endure your absence. I'm not sure I'd be capable of withstanding such a thing.

I love you. And I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[smute]

if you like a BLT you should try a BEC, a bacon egg and cheese. it's the traditional breakfast of New York City but can be enjoyed any time of day. it's another "more than the sum of its parts" sandwich.

it's most traditionally had on either a bagel or a Kaiser roll (would strongly recommend the roll if you don't have a really good Jewish bakery near you). whatever you put it on, just make sure it's good and fresh; optionally toast it first.

eggs can be any style, but scrambled or over medium is traditional if you don't want it leaking all over the place. I like my eggs over easy but that's because I'm a mess both figuratively and literally.

cheese can again be anything, but American (Kraft singles NOT the off brand!) is most common, followed by cheddar, Swiss (Edam or similar), or pepper jack.

Bacon is usually done on the crispy side to make it easier to bite, but again, it's your sandwich, do it how you want.

Then traditionally top with salt, pepper, and ketchup; some people do hot sauce too, when I make egg sandwiches at home I usually put a little paprika and onion powder, I'm sure mayo would be quite nice as well, you can kind of mix it up with the condiments to your heart's content.

it's not the same as just eating a plate of eggs and bacon with toast on the side, it's much more delicious. maybe it's the cheese but I think it really boils down to the form factor.

god that sounds SO fucking good!!! the jewish bakery is probably a no (although i love a good bagel) but a kaiser roll shouldn't be a problem! i will try this asap and report back with my findings

[speedlimit15]

i made the most amazing sandwich just now

recipe below lol

2 pieces of long sourdough lightly toasted for bread

right out of the toaster spread one side of each piece with a thin layer of butter, let that cool while you do the rest of this stuff

smash/chop one clove fresh garlic and a sprigs worth of rosemary leaves (like 1-2tbsp i suppose)

hopefully you have a boiled egg, if not boil one real quick: bring water to a nice strong boil FIRST then gently drop cold egg into boiling water for 5min:soft 7min:med 9min:hard then place in bowl of ice or very cold water for a while

now go back to your toast. it should be fairly room temp by now and the little bit of butter should be fully soaked up, so go ahead and spread a thin layer of mayo on there. if you’re out of mayo, and you have an egg and 1/4 cup of oil and a lemon or lime and some salt (and a whisk or hand mixer or immersion blender to make it easier), no you’re not out of mayo, go look up a five minute recipe, you will have very good mayo once you follow that

anyway, hopefully you have pesto. if so, use a spoon to put a little on each slice of toast and use the back of the spoon to spread it around thinly on top of the mayo. if not, whatever, no big deal, chopped fresh basil leaves will also work well here, but either way sprinkle your fresh garlic and rosemary mixture evenly over top of this. crack some black pepper all over that shit and parmesan if you’re fancy

put some spinach or other leafy green on one side of the toast. this will be your bed for your eggs and also a nice leaf for your body to enjoy. optional tomato/onion here as well if you have and like them

now go ahead and peel your boiled egg if you haven’t, then cut it in half and then each half into halves. do this over the sandwich to make sure no egg drops on the floor or counter or whatever especially if it’s boiled softer. arrange the pieces nicely on the toast, you can add a second egg if your toast is big enough

ok, so we’re almost done. sprinkle a little salt on the egg pieces, pepper too, parmesan if you’re like me, then take extra virgin olive oil and BARELY zigzag it across that sandwich. like a light drizzle at most you know. then do the same with some balsamic vinegar. you can also skip the oil and vinegar and use a premixed vinaigrette

then put your second piece of toast on top and you’re done! if it’s more than 5 inches across i suggest cutting it in half to make it more manageable

this is called jess’s fancy egg salad sandwich

[captainnameless]

Little Danny and mama seb spending the day together with uncle lew??

“Poppet.”

…

“Darling?”

“…Hmm?”

“Daniel, sweetheart.”

Apparently Lewis has made his way over, cause suddenly Daniel’s face is pulled away from the television screen, cheeks squished together in Lewis’ hold as they catch each others eyes.

There’s a dopey kinda smile that takes over Daniel’s features, blinking up at the elder, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“Hi.”

Lewis chuckles, squeezing gently, it puckers Daniel’s lips into an even goofier smile. “Hi, did you hear what I asked you?”

Daniel blinks again, briefly flicking his eyes back to the screen where Bluey is on. Obviously he didn’t hear, he had different priorities.

“No.” Daniel breathes.

“Do you want hummus or mayo on the sandwich?”

Daniel sighs a bit, his thinking briefly disturbed by the giggling on the television that make him fully turn his head back to face the screen. “Um, hummus.” Then remembers his manners. “Please.”

“Alright.” Lewis hums, pressing a kiss to Daniel’s temple before moving back towards the kitchen.

It’s a couple minutes later before he’s disturbed again, squealing when Sebastian hooks his hands under Daniel’s armpits, dragging him back towards the couch.

“Mama.” He whines, squirming in Sebastian’s hold.

“Your eyes are gonna go square with how close you are to the screen.” Sebastian scolds gently, plopping Daniel down onto the couch. “It’s a giant TV, you don’t need to be that close.”

“Do too.” Daniel whines back, flopping down and sliding back down onto the floor to stare up at Sebastian with a defiant look, starting to crawl back over to his spot on the carpet in front of the TV, Roscoe’s usually there too but the Pup has chosen the kitchen as the place to be when there’s food being prepared.

Sebastian’s unimpressed, hooks a fingers into Daniel’s belt loop and pulls him back.

“Maaamaaa.”

“Daaanieeel.”

“No nice.” Daniel huffs, kicking up feebly.

Another unimpressed look strengthened by the raise of an eyebrow. “Mama can turn it off?”

“No!” Daniel cries out, pushing himself up to scramble back onto the couch. “No, please.”

“So strict.” Lewis chuckles, walking in balancing three plates. “A 20-minute episode won’t make him go crossed eyed.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side.” Sebastian huffs, sitting back down on the couch in time to watch Daniel put on his most impressive pout to Lewis.

“I know.” Lewis soothes with a soft chuckle, putting the plates down to run his hand through Daniel’s curls. “I know.”

[neurodivergent-multishipper]

Pens and gears chapter one: The meeting

(also on my ao3) general fic summary: What if, in a universe where there are no quirks and All might is fictional, Katsuki and Izuku meet as young teens, and end up going to the same schools for the rest of their teenage lives. While Izuku is getting better at art Katsuki struggles to find what he wants to do, as he grapples with the fact, he might have a crush on his best friend

It was a normal summer day for Katsuki. At least at the start, He grabbed his All might backpack in the morning just like always when he woke up. He filled it with his normal snacks just like always too. They were the only snacks he’d ever eat honestly, a crab onigiri with spicy mayo in the middle, kept in a small glass Tupperware cube. Two packs of Goldfish, some fruit snacks, and a ham sandwich his mother made him pack. He took his noise canceling headphones, and his phone as well. He roughly shoved his phone into his pocket and carefully put all his food into his bag to avoid anything getting squished. His headphones were placed around his neck for now. The Allmight stickers adorning them matching the rest of his outfit, littered with pins, bracelets in his homage. Katsuki has started all his mornings in a similar fashion to this since he was a small child and was still being walked to the park by his parents.

Katsuki was 13 now, he was just about to enter his last year of middle school. He could walk to the park alone by now and honestly preferred it. He loves his parents but he always struggled with small talk since he was a small child if it wasn’t related to the things he liked, mainly Allmight. He was seen as rude or brash as a kid most of the time so he learned to wing it by himself from a young age.

Once he finally got himself out of the door he slipped his headphones on, on occasion he’d stop to admire a cool art installation or a nice car. He grew up in a nice neighborhood since his parents were fashion designers before he was born. The air was hot and humid, summers in Japan were always like this ever since he was a little kid. He’s always hated the feeling of humidity on his skin so he does his best to cover up as much as possible without getting heat stroke in this weather.

When he got to the park he went straight to his spot, there was an area underneath the main play structure where no one would bother him. He slipped under the metal base of the play structure and sat in the mulch. He set his backpack down next to him, making sure not to drop it to protect his snacks.

For a while he sat there watching all the merch collection tours on his phone. That was until he heard a soft but excited voice. It seemed to be a boy his age.

“I like your Allmight backpack!!, i really like Allmight too! he’s like…the coolest ever!” The boy said. He had messy green hair and freckles that dotted his face like stars in the night sky. He seemed to be slightly shorter than Katsuki.

“May i sit here with you?” The boy said quietly snapping Katsuki out of his trance. He nodded quickly.

“Yeah…what's your name?...I’m Katsuki, nice to meet another Allmight fan in the wild” He chuckled slightly, he rolled up his sleeves to show off his Allmight themed bracelets.

“Oh!, i forgot to introduce myself shoot, I’m Izuku, nice to meet you too!...and woah your bracelets are awesome!” Izuku said, with the way his eyes lit up you’d think he’d just seen the most amazing thing in the world. Bakugo chuckled at the reaction.

Izuku moved to sit across from Katsuki, when he sat down he picked up a piece of mulch and began to flip it back and forth in his hand as they talked. Izuku broke the silence after a bit, grabbing a sketchbook from his small backpack.

“Wanna see my Allmight fanart?...its not the best but i really like how they turned out!” Izuku said, seeming to get shyer.

“Hell yeah I wanna see them!” Katsuki said, chuckling slightly. He watched as Izuku flipped through the pages of his sketchbook. The art was actually beautiful, the lines were messy but in a stylistic way, and the expressions and posing were immaculate.

“Woah! you've got some real talent, these are awesome!” Katsuki said with a big smile. Izuku blushed slightly hiding his face behind his sketchbook.

“They really aren’t all that special…but thanks anyways” He flips his sketchbook shut and slides it into his small bag.

Katsuki just chuckled at this, shaking his head.

For the rest of summer they continued meeting like this, they’d discuss their opinions on new manga updates, Izuku would show off his art, and Katsuki would talk about whatever plans he had.

After a while they grew closer, Izuku beginning to call Katsuki “Kachan” Katsuki normally wasn’t a fan of affectionate nicknames but for some reason he didn’t mind this time,

When the end of summer was nearing, they were discussing what school they went to and realized they’re in the same school but have always been in different classes. Katsuki was amazed and slightly annoyed the two hadn’t become friends sooner.

[oozmium]

Ranking the smt ivf collab Cafe as someone who will never have the chance to taste it ft. probably inaccurate translations of their names

Part 1 featuring the actual meals because I forgot tumblr has an image limit

1. "Godslayer" Meat Platter

We got steamed chicken and duck meat with some salsa and salad... that sounds yummy but man idk why but this just looks so unappetizing. I mean at least I can stomach duck though so I'd totally be open to eating this. But also it doesn't look like a sizable portion so hm.

6/10: presentation kills this meal sorry Nanashi

2. Dagda's Large Fried Rice

Good god this is a lot of rice... I'd imagine this would pair well with Nanashi's meal. Looks like a nice batch of fried rice but I have to take points off for the overkill on the sesame seeds... I want my rice not seeds... though apparently the seeds are inspired by Dagda's color scheme so huh.

7/10: it's rice. Too much seeds. I'd complain it's a big portion but the famitsu article notes this is meant for 2-3 people so that's fair.

3. 阿修羅会御用達 悪ピザ (tls to smth along the lines of Ashura-Kai Purveyor Pizza?? I didn't trust the machine tl so I'm putting the kanji)

Now this is something I'd definitely eat. A nice piece of pizza bread will always make me happy. The famitsu article notes that this was the meal most recommended by reporters.

There is one other thing to note about this one: it's meant to be split between two or three people! ... like Hallelujah and his "Bro".... 😦

10/10: I'm not immune to pizza bread and reporters really liked it so I'm sure it was delicious

4. Asahi's Energetic and Healthy Coriander Salad

This one is really cute, although I have to admit I've never tried coriander but there's a first for everything! The flower is a very cute touch too, but I'm a picky guy so the peppers are a bit of an ick for me... I can't eat them in salad it needs to be put in stuff like a sandwich for me to eat it.

7/10: unsure on if this would be tasty but the presentation really sells it!

5. Flynn a la Mode (aka Furin a la Mode)

Ooo now this is a yummy looking dessert! Would absolutely demolish it (sorry Flynn).

They said the pun was unintentional; instead the idea was everyone's beloved Flynn wanted to make a dessert everyone loves (I hope I'm reading that correctly 🥺)

9/10: I'd give it a 10/10 (and it really deserves one) but I'm very picky on those extra gummies surrounding the pudding...

6. Jonathan's Grilled Beef Tongue

Er. Apparently chosen for Jonathan for its elegant and luxurious taste ... anyway this looks very yummy and it gets extra points for the kewpie mayo 🤤. The onions are a nice touch too... guess I have to concede and agree this is really elegant!

9/10: I've never tried tongue personally but the kewpie mayo would be enough to get me on board with eating it.

7. Father's Fisherman's Meal

They want you to think Walter's dad caught the fish that went into this meal... I laughed a bit ngl. Anyway I'm always down for poke-esque meals I guess it'd come down to the quality of the meat 🤔 though the amount of fish in there might leave me wanting more...

6/10: unsure if I want to give this higher bc I don't personally know how the fish tasted... also could use more fish.

8. Fairy Forest Mushrooms

Maybe they're not appetizing to you but I absolutely LOVE mushrooms. They're so yummy to me and especially when you add some nice butter for extra flavor... mmm very yummy 🤤.

8/10: I'm biased I like eating mushrooms I'd devour this in a heartbeat

9. Gaston's Long Skewer Platter

This was the 2nd funniest item on the menu (you'll see the funniest one soon). Other than that, skewers are always tasty with some soy sauce and lemon for extra flavoring... although apparently it was a guessing game to discover what was inside the skewer?

7/10: unsure if i wanna play skewer roulette with Gaston 😦