#and that's the email I've been using since i was a kid

[ven0n4t]

I've been seeing this PBS ad on TikTok recently, and since I know a lot of people on here don't use TikTok, I thought I'd share it! PBS is asking people to go to https://protectmypublicmedia.org/rsc-emails/ and fill out the information to send an email to your congresspeople. It's super easy too, since they already have the email written out and will send it for you.

Also, PBS kids and sesame street is super important to me so even though the federal funding only makes up about 10% of NPR and PBS's funding, i wanted to share some ways to donate to them (although these are specifically PBS)

https://www.pbs.org/donate/ is the website to donate specifically to PBS; there are 2 ways to donate. You can do a one-time donation of 60 dollars or higher or monthly donations of 5 dollars or more. I just signed up for a 5 dollar monthly donation recently, and it was super easy and probably the more affordable option.

If you have kids who want any PBS Kids shows, there's also a store that sells merch based on the shows. The link for that is https://www.shop.pbskids.org/. They have a lot more variety for newer shows, but they have something for pretty much all of the shows they still play!

Don't let Trump try and take away this incredible source of children's educational media, especially when children's education is already suffering right now. PBS Kids is made possible by viewers like you!

[pathologicalreid]

merry christmas, please don't call | s.r.

in which Spencer pens an email to you, since you've already blocked his phone number

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: nondescript break up, described as spencer's fault, reader is mentioned to have worn lipstick, yearning, word count: 907 a/n: and the worst part is!!! that we both know!!!!! we are doing kind of an unofficial margotmas/reidmas! really i've just been building up christmas ideas for a while lol

To: xreader@gmail.com From: Spencer.Reid@gmail.com Subject: Merry Christmas

Hey,

Spencer shook his head, that was too casual.

Good afternoon,

Much too formal.

Hello,

Too rigid.

Darling,

I passed by the house that you told me you adored. It used to be your dream house; you’d always show me the Zillow listing whenever you were browsing. The owners didn’t put up their Christmas lights this year, and it looks like they’re getting ready to sell. I haven’t been online to check the listing, that was always your thing rather than mine.

Do you remember the house? It had four bedrooms for our kids to sleep in and a library with stained-glass windows. You always told me the stained-glass windows were your favorite feature of my apartment. I keep it covered now; the colored glass just serves as a painful reminder of you.  

Emily called me last week. I suppose no one told her that we weren’t together anymore because she asked what our holiday plans were. I haven’t made any since you left. I’m finding myself hopeful that we get called on a case over Christmas so that I don’t need to be surrounded by the world celebrating while I continue to wallow in the memories of you and me.

That’s all I have now: memories. We made so many of them over the course of three years that I don’t know what to do with them. I’ve always had the sneaking suspicion that having an eidetic memory is a curse just as much as it is a blessing, but with you gone, I know it’s more of a curse. I see you when I close my eyes as if your features have been permanently tattooed on the back of my eyelids, but when my eyes are open, everything is exponentially worse.

You left in such a hurry, so you were bound to leave a few things behind. When I went to make a cup of coffee and found one of your mugs in my cabinet, JJ and Penelope had to practically scrape me off the kitchen floor. There was still a lipstick smudge on it, a piece of our history the dishwasher couldn’t quite wash off. Your necklace was on the bedside table, though maybe that was left behind on purpose. I wish we could go back to the day I gave it to you, you could wear the same green dress, and maybe work wouldn’t get in the way. If I could, I’d call you to ask why you left it behind, but you’ve blocked my number.

There was no need for you to leave me things to remember you by, how could I ever forget you?

I’ve been finding myself grateful that you got so close with Garcia during our relationship, she doesn’t give me any explicit details on your life when she updates me. I never ask, but she knows I want to hear.

It’s a rather odd phenomenon to have once had someone who you shared everything with, only to one day find they want nothing to do with you. I always find myself reaching for my phone to send to a message, or leaning over to show you a line in my book, but you’re not there anymore. I don’t hold any malice in my heart for you, even after you called it all off. My biggest regret is that I couldn’t be the boyfriend that you needed, and I’m proud of you for realizing you wanted someone better. I’m sorry I couldn’t be better.

Maybe I still have some growing up to do. There might be some sort of emotional stunting as a result of my less-than-orthodox upbringing and education, which makes sense when you consider two of my most common nicknames, “boy genius” and “kid.” One day I could find myself in the same place you were, ready for more, but maybe then I’ll be with someone who is ready for the same things as I am. She’ll never be you though. You’ll always hold that special place in my heart.

Speaking of my upbringing, my mom keeps asking about you. Each time we talk on the phone, she asks if she can talk to you, but I’ve been telling her that you’re still working or are otherwise preoccupied. I know I shouldn’t lie to her, but if I tell her, she’ll inevitably forget, and I’ll be forced to recount the story of how I lost the best thing to ever happen to me forever. That would be my eternal damnation. There’s Sisyphus and Tantalus and Spencer Reid, slowly becoming nothing but a myth. I wonder if I’m a story that you tell your friends at O’Keefe’s.

I go there sometimes, just to see if I can catch your gaze, but you’re never there.

I know this is your favorite holiday, and I don’t intend to ruin your holidays with my message. I suppose I just needed to see if you still dream about that house. To see if you still dream of me the way I dream of you.

Merry Christmas,

Spencer

He clicked send nervously, ready to snap his work-issued laptop shut when it chirped with a notification. Surely you hadn’t responded that quickly. Spencer opened his inbox once more, checking the latest email.

To: Spencer.Reid@gmail.com From: mailer-daemon@googlemail.com Subject: Delivery Status Notification (Failure)

Message blocked.

Your message to xreader@gmail.com has been blocked. See technical details below for more information.

[thevoidstaredback]

Part 1

Danny woke up with the sun. Vlad would still be in bed for a few hours yet, so he had more than enough time to deck out the entire house and garden, with help from the ghosts, of course.

He planned to meet the others in the back gardens with some food to make sure nothing would go wrong.

Pandora, Dora, and Dani were the first three there, waiting for him already. And, as he set out the food none of them needed but would eat anyway, Johnny and Kitty showed up. Ember, Box Lunch, Youngblood, Poindexter, and Skulker came together. Walker, Desiree, Fright Knight, The Vultures, Blob Ghosts, and Spectra showed up separately, though in near quick succession. Frostbite, Undergroth, and Ghost Writer had wanted to come along, too, but would only be able to be there for the party itself.

All week, the guests had been arriving and staying in Madison, Wisconsin. They hadn't been able to house anyone because Vlad was going to be the very last to know, so they'd used his money to rent out a hotel for the week of the gala, including another day afterwards.

"Plasmius still doesn't know, right?" Ember asked as soon as everyone had gathered.

Dani started cackling. "Nope!"

"He's suspicious, though," Vulture One said.

"We think he probably noticed the money for the hotel." Vulture Three added.

"He hasn't done anything more than passing glares, though," Danny pointed out.

"He's not said anything?"

"Nope."

"Perfect!" Spectra smiled, "How're you going to break it to him tonight?"

"Well," he started, "I was thinking I play it off as if he was the one to plan it."

"Oh?" Pandora raised her eyebrow, "That won't be easy."

"Sure it will!" Poindexter shouted, "Plasmius is so old, that his memory's going!"

Youngblood was nodding enthusiastically. "We can even have his suit set out for him and everything!"

"What have you done with the acceptance letters?" Dora wondered.

"They're hidden in my closet," Dani said.

Skulker hummed. "And I've taken care of any emails or messages sent to his phone and computer. All went straight to the kid."

Danny snickered. "This is gonna be so much fun!

"Hell yeah!" Johnny cheered.

Fright Knight cleared his throat. "Any last minute arrangements that need taken care of?"

The group paused for a minute, all of them thinking. Finally, Danny said, "Well, other than finally decorating the place, we'll need to get food- We forgot caterers!"

"I can handle that," Desiree said, "Just this once, though," She snapped her fingers and a paper contract appeared in Walker's hand. "Since you're head of security, you should probably hold onto the contracts."

Walker nodded, tucking the papers into his coat. "We'll have some of the Blob Ghosts with us at the gates. Fright will watch the front and I'll take the back. Skulker will be in the security room, and the Vultures will take the rest of the Blobs and watch the skies."

"Why're we even goin' so far f'r dese peoples' 'afety?" Box Lunch, who had only been able to speak for just over a year and was doing fantastically, asked. "They're just rich. Do dey have and re-rede- good tings 'bout 'em?"

Dora chuckled, quieting the others with a glare. "Everyone has redeeming qualities, sweetheart."

"Kitty?" Dani dragged out the word as she asked.

"Almost everyone," Dora corrected swiftly, "Besides, it'll look bad if anyone gets hurt while we're hosting them."

"Speaking of," Pandora spoke up, "Is everyone here going to be attending tonight?"

Youngblood tilted his head to the side. "What'd'ya mean?"

Spectra flipped her hair, which was straight down her back today, over her shoulder. "Only so many of us have human disguises. It's not like we blend in well with the living."

"Well, can't everyone just stay invisible the whole night?" Vulture Two suggested.

"And miss out on all the fun?" Dani almost yelled, "No way!"

Danny hummed. "Our security team has to be here, and may even need to make an appearance. At least Walker and Frighty will have to be disguised."

"Manageable," Fright Knight nodded.

"Got it," Walker agreed.

"Great. Anyone wanting to be guests will have to be disguised as well," Dora pointed out.

"Writer, Frostbite, Undergrowth, and I all have that covered," Pandora said, "Dora, Spectra, Ember, Johnny, and Kitty will all be able to pass as living."

"What about us?" Poindexter glared. He didn't want to be left out of all the fun, and was pretty sure Box Lunch and Youngblood didn't, either.

Dani leaned on his shoulder. "You three will just get to come hang out with me and Wulf in the Keep."

Youngblood's eyes had stars in them as he whipped around and stared at her. "We get to play in the keep?!"

"That'll go well," Spectra laughed.

"I'll stay with them," Dora said.

"You sure?" Danny asked.

"Of course," she nodded, "While being here would be fun, I don't think Wulf is quite ready to handle four trickster spirits."

"And you being there will somehow be better? Neither of you are protectors."

No, but I am a caretaker spirit. And, as long as they don't go anywhere near the catacombs," she shot a serious look at the four children, "I'm sure we'll be fine."

"Alright," Danny accepted, "but Jazz, Tuck, and Sam will probably be ready to help if you need it, okay?"

"Much appreciated."

"What do we still need to do?" Kitty asked.

"Skulker, Walker, Fright Knight, the Vultures, and the Blobs are all on security, so you should all probably start setting that up," Pandora said. They agreed and disappeared. "Ember will handle music, right?"

She waved her hand will a nod, "You got it. Boring, old people classics coming right up."

"Johnny, are you okay with taking over valet?"

"I get to drive other people's cars, right?"

"As long as you don't crash them," Danny added.

"Sure," he smirked, "But I can still prank them, right?"

Danny sighed, but nodded.

"Yes!"

"Kitty-"

"I'll watch over the kitchen," she said.

Pandora nodded once. "Spectra? Desiree?"

"I'll go in as an actual guest," Spectra's smile spelled mischief.

Desiree matched her with a grin of her own, "I'll go with as your date."

Again, Pandora nodded at the two. "I'll come as a guest as well with Ghost Writer, Undergrowth, and Frostbite."

"Settled?" Danny asked. After agreements, he turned to Dani and the kids. "You four want to help me finally deck this place out?" Their matching grins said everything.

With a final dismissal, the group vanished to finish their final preparations.

Part 3

[jazzhandsmcleg]

Hi, Tumblr!

I got this email from The Loft Cinema -- Tucson, Arizona's local, independent, non-profit theater, which shows everything from kids' movies and black-and-white cult classics to foreign films and documentaries, with an unwavering focus on movies that don't show in big box theaters and an eye for accessibility -- earlier this week (transcript below the cut at the bottom of this post):

I am posting it here for two reasons.

One: Look at that diss track. The mocking scare quotes around the reason for the reduced funding? "Because the NEA [National Endowment for the Arts] has radically changed its funding priorities, seemingly overnight..."? How about: "We exist to serve our community" (subtext: the NEA no longer does)? Or: "We will continue to do this important work along with so many worthy and important organizations around the country" (implication: the NEA is no longer one of those)?

Incredible shit. Five stars. Politest and most plausibly deniable fuck-Trump message I've ever had the joy of receiving in my inbox.

Two: Well, you can probably guess. I know we're all spread thin right now, but if you have a little cash to spare for a random internet cause...here's a good one. Because the arts are important. Because diversity in the arts is important. Because small, locally-owned businesses are the lifeblood of a community. And because frankly, whoever wrote that brilliant email deserves to see some payoff for their hard work.

(Whether or not you find yourself able to donate to The Loft at this time, I hope this post will perhaps put you in mind of a cool local business in your own vicinity that you could support! Community is a grassroots endeavor: it starts with us.)

Thanks for reading!

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: The logo for The Loft Cinema, a pretty minimalistic piece in red, black, and white. The logo states that it has existed since 1972. Beneath it are links for "Membership," "Donate," "Gift Certificates," and "Shop." End image description.]

"Last Friday evening, The Loft Cinema was notified by the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) that our $30,000 grant for the 2025 Loft Film Fest was being withdrawn because it “falls outside the funding priorities of the President.”

The NEA has been a supporter of the Loft Film Festival for nearly a decade and has also stepped up to support our Loft Film Fest on the Road in recent years. Receiving these grants was always validating for our project given the high artistic standards of the NEA.

While this loss of funding was not unexpected, given the cutbacks of federal grants during these past 3 months, it is still disappointing and disheartening.

Because the NEA has radically changed its funding priorities, seemingly overnight, The Loft Cinema will not be appealing this decision. Maintaining the integrity of The Loft and our annual Loft Film Fest as a culturally-relevant and vital part of our community is our main concern, and to be in receipt of NEA funding could mean compromising our principles as well as the world-class programming you expect from The Loft.

We exist to serve our community, and we will continue to do this important work along with so many worthy and important organizations around the country.

These are tough times for the arts, but we will get through this, together, and come out even stronger on the other side. Thank you for all you do to help us to continue to fulfill our mission of building community by celebrating the art and diversity of film. We need that now, more than ever."

[Image description: A button reading MAKE A DONATION. End image description.]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

The thing about Gaylors is that it isn't like a bunch of people connected with a song about longing and secrecy or something, and thought "this relates to my experience as a queer person, I wonder if she's felt something similar. Maybe she's bi or something." (She isn't, she has made it very clear, but I could see listening to a song as a young, queer teenager and wondering.) Or even listening to a song like Betty and interpreting it as queer, which my 62 het mother did. No, for Gaylor, Taylor Swift is a lesbian, she's never been romantically or sexually attracted to a man. She's been married to Karlie Kloss since 2016. The kids Karlie Kloss supposedly has with Josh Kushner are fake (then they insert an antisemitic comment about Josh Kushner). All the men Taylor has 'dated' are fake beards who she hates (no word on why she pretended to date a man she hated for 6 years when she could have presumably picked a guy she like. And shout out to Calvin Harris for being so mad when they broke up he broke his car and went on a tirad on twitter but didn't out her. Queer Ally there.) And if you count the buttons on her coat you'd know that she is trying to tell us that. It isn't unlike how instead of looking at her new relationship and going "They are cute, I hope they are having a good time," people are going "they are soulmates, he's her 13th boyfriend [i've heard of] and so its fate. They are going to get married and have children within the next year. If they break up, I'll die." Or people watching a music video saying "there are 5 blue squares, that means 1989 TV is coming next, because its blue and the fifth album" when it also just...had 1989 TV as text on a sign at the end of the video. I know people are weird about celebrities. I am occasionally weird about celebrities. I have watched interviews where famous people seem funny and charming and though "I really hope they are actually as nice as they seem on TV." But that line between the mild parasocial relationships many celebrities invite because of their brand and the "this persons mine" mentality is not ok.

okay I've been sitting on this one for a long time because I thought sharing it seemed like kind of mean but. as long as we're delving the depths of gaylor conspiracy hell I want you all to see this 158 slide presentation "proving" Taylor was planning to come out when Lover was released, discovered by my dear friend @dykeschemicalromance via tiktok. it is, and I do not say this lightly, one of the most unsettling depictions of conspiracy thought in action I've ever seen

[matchalovertrait]

Antonio met Yoltic at The Beehive when it had just opened for business two years ago. Like a normal person, he was there to get his clothes fitted and nothing more. However, Yoltic sensed Antonio's "vibes" and decided to be the extrovert to "adopt" this broody introvert. Antonio won't outright admit it, but Yoltic is a cool guy to hang out with. Once they started spending more time together, Yoltic casually mentioned how Dani had been struggling to find a job ever since they moved from Mexico to the United States. For mental health reasons, she did not want to be a teacher again, but no other places were open-minded enough to her. Antonio happened to be in need of a paralegal, so he took her under his wing and trained her. The rest is history!

Note: Dulce doesn't mind geeks, she just can't imagine Antonio being a D&D player! I've played it before too, by the way. Fun game! My character was a vampire named Madame Blade lol.

Start from the beginning (Gen 2)

Previous | Next

Transcript

DULCE: Well, I better go now.

DANIELA: Hey, guys!

DULCE: Oh my gosh!! Hey, Dani!!

ANTONIO: Hi, Daniela.

DANIELA: Looks like he took the news well...

DULCE: More or less.

DANIELA: Hey Tony, Yoltic wanted me to ask if you were still up for Dungeons and Dragons tonight.

DULCE: Hold the phone. YOU play Dungeons and Dragons?

ANTONIO: What about it?

DULCE: STOP!! No way!! Mr. “Dark and Mysterious” over here is a geek!!! [Cackles]

DULCE: What’s your character?! An orc? No, no, probably something lame like a human.

DANIELA: He’s actually the Dungeon Master. He writes the campaigns for us.

[Dulce’s laughter intensifies.]

DULCE: That’s even worse!! No, better!!!

DANIELA: You should join us sometime! You’re very imaginative.

DULCE: Me?

DANIELA: Don’t act like you didn’t read comic books as a kid.

DULCE: Fair point.

DULCE: Anyway, I gotta go!!! Bye guys!

DANIELA: Have a safe flight!

ANTONIO: Answer the emails.

ANTONIO: Why are you looking at me like that?

DANIELA: Oh, no reason.

ANTONIO: I’m not buying that.

DANIELA: She keeps you on your toes, huh?

ANTONIO: What she does is raise my blood pressure by an exorbitant amount. Remind me again why I took her case.

DANIELA: For the same reason you hired me? You have a good heart.

ANTONIO: [Scoffs]

DANIELA: And that’s why you would have never taken Caruso’s offer.

ANTONIO: Wouldn’t dream of it. Let’s get out of here. Tell Yoltic to get some chips for everyone.

[sl-walker]

Booster's Queer af

Something I wrote on Reddit on a thread asking 'what's your DC hot take??', because if you're gonna kick a hornet's nest, kick it with your best steel-toed boots and then smile:

Booster's queer. That man hasn't come across as straight-- ever. Like even when I started reading DC in 2003, he came across as queer to me, pretty much from his inception. Seriously. He comes across like someone closeted and decidedly not-straight who just stays in the closet initially because it was a very bad time to be anything other than heterosexual when he landed in the past and later because it's habit and expected of him. I don't think he's gay, I think he probably leans pretty pansexual or maybe even demisexual, but any which way, you'll never convince me he's not at least a little bit queer. He's had one in-universe romance that hasn't been retconned (Firehawk) in his entire time existing and one that was a joke and maybe not even real canon (Gladys). After almost four decades. His thing with Firehawk lasted, I think, like less than a year, too. I'm pretty sure you can count his on-panel kisses on one hand, but not more than two. He's never had a 'morning after' scene. The one seriously emotionally intimate relationship he has is with another guy. When he does flirt or attempt to, it comes off as being awkward and a bit desperate and a bit like a man who is kinda using it as cover. And like-- that really makes way more sense for him than anything otherwise. I'd sincerely hope by the 25th century that we'd stop giving a damn who loves or wants whomever else based on gender presentation. It also makes for a pretty compelling tale, a guy getting dropped into the middle of the AIDS epidemic learning a very quick and ugly lesson about what happens to queer folk in this time period. I dunno how hot a take this is, though, because at least some people up top agree (he's canonically hooked up with Ted in Teen Titans Go! and like-- any time Tom Taylor writes them, he all but says it aloud), but if TPTB were brave, they'd finally confirm it mainline. Like you don't even have to ship him with Ted (though that's my preference), just confirm he's queer. Here's my essay. What's my grade? LOL!

--

Since it's relevant, tho, here's a few pieces I wrote from a long email back and forth (since us old people still do that) with another very long-time fan of his a couple weeks ago:

But anyway, to me, he acts about like how a kid who got dropped into the 80s during the height of the AIDS panic and rampant homophobia and the wholesale death of gay men might, especially if he were queer himself. I'd probably try to straight-wash myself, too, in his boots. (I remember that time period, if distantly. I didn't realize I was queer myself until I was well into my 20s, despite falling in very desperate and intense love with another girl when I was 12. I do remember being in high school when a boy was murdered for being queer by being tortured and left tied to a fence to die, though. It was that kind of world back then for people like us. In some places, it still is.) Still, where Booster fails at any hetero romance (oh god does he), he's so devoted to Ted that a big part of his second solo was dedicated to him either trying to save the man or actively mourning him. It's heartbreaking and amazing and really actually quite good stuff, from a literary POV. Whether DC meant it or not, somehow they managed to write one of the greatest love stories I've ever seen in a comic across most of twenty years, no kidding, and I've read a lot across a lot of companies, even back when I was a twelve year old girl and ridiculed for it. And not just a great queer love story, it's a great love story period. A person can make a credible argument for it being a one-sided -- romantic and therefore non-platonic -- love, but it's pretty hard to argue it's not a very intense one regardless.

And

I guess what I'm trying to say is: This is another read on him. And I think also a very valid one. He's one hell of an amazing character, I wish DC had handled him half as well post-Flashpoint than they did pre-Flashpoint, and I don't think a queer reading of him detracts anything from how amazing he is. If anything, I think it makes the older stuff several shades deeper (and so, so relatable, god), and I think if they decided to write him as explicitly queer now, not too many people would actually be all that surprised. With or without Ted. I can't really identify with Alan Scott, love him though I do, even though I can acknowledge that a generation of gay men likely could quite strongly. But I can identify with Booster Gold, who grew up poor and wrecked his future in part for love of family, who clawed his way out of poverty and fell back into it, who has brilliant and shining moments of courage and heart, and moments where he lands on his face, who was tough enough to survive a lot of shit but devastatingly vulnerable to exploitation, and who looks like a fellow queer kid who might've fallen for his best friend, but was surrounded by homophobia and hate and terror and buried that part of himself because the alternative might have been getting beaten and left tied to a fence to die.

[arsnof]

ArsCo Presents the Inaugural Arsnof's Great American Yard Sard Comics and Sundry Sale 2024!

Hello there! I'm Arsnof. You may remember me from content such as "Canadian Illustrator", "Dungeon Mentat", or even "Transformers Meme". I'm here today to host a celebration of buying things, thinking they're so super cool, and then putting them away and never looking at them again. Comics, books, toys, anime, manga, CCGs, rare webcomic goodies, tiny figurines of yokai, a Little Golden Book adaptation of Gremlins that ends before midnight, Chuck Norris's Karate Kommandos, can you read Japanese because I can't, official Soul Coughing stickers, a hoard of well read Wizards and Toyfares, Funko Pops, feet pics (you can get off, but only if you can correctly diagnose what's wrong first), Transformers...

I could go on forever, but I got it, you want it, we can make a deal (no tongue).

Why is this happening? I'm shit broke and getting shitter. Going down like a Trump Casino. Guy paying his bills on time? I haven't heard that name in forever.

I've been taking care of my ailing father (tried to die on us three times so far this year) and the rest of my family (I don't owe you an explanation, cop) and then someone just up and decided to make my automobile a notomobile.

They didn't have insurance, but that's okay because we have full cov-*hand to ear*-what? We don't? Only comprehensive? Since when? FUCKING shit... Okay, but we still have uninsured motorist, so-four thousand? Four thousand. Dollars. $4,000. To replace an entire ass truck.

We are in desperate need of a car. I've got a lifetime of memories. You, on average, have some change sitting around. Can I have some? I'll trade you stuff.

I'm starting with my comics because they're easiest to catalogue. See something you like? HMU, as the kids say (please God don't let that be a sex thing) and I'll see what I can do. I'm giving the comic shop at which I used to work a vague preference, but I can be swayed.

Next up will be the trades and manga, DVDs of varied origin, toys, and so on.

Criminitly.

If life can stop kicking us in the gender neutral pain zone for five fucking minutes, @paulyollyoxxenfree and I will get back to handicrafts. They're getting back into the amiguroove and I'm going to hit the pad - finish and print Kitty, start Dr. Doctor. Stickers and stuff. I'm not shaving for a while to put me in mall Santa shape by Thanksgiving.

But what if you've got too much money and you're sick of it, but you hate being given things? I take donations. If you put a special request in the memo, I won't even give you the thanks. I'll just spit. I take requests.

Papal

Cache

Fuck, I don't know, antelope? My email - arsnof@gmail.com

I might make one of those kofi things.

Oh and, heheh, one more thing...

Launching in the fourth quarter 2024, ArsCo is proud to announce Alone With Arsnof, the happening new app that gives you the power to have some one-on-one time *gunshot* wit- *sudden fade to red-tinted black, gunshot echo. Sirens fade in. HE'S DOWN! OVER THERE! THE ROOF? A high-pitched whine. Bright light. The late afternoon sky comes into focus. Fireballs? The sun is so bright. Automatic gunfire. No, jets. Falling. Screams. Recognizable screams. Unrecognizable screams? Inhuman? The sun blinks*

[mortish-writes]

When is the next update for dark maiden? Your writing is so good, my heart sank when i saw to be continued😔

Since you're referencing DMR I assume you're on Patreon, I wrote a bit about this at the end of the Kerach sneak peak:

I'll be back soon with a Dark Maiden update, thank you for being understanding about the computer issues. I'm not the type of person to make posts saying "Sorry guys, xyz is happening so I'm going to be behind schedule." When I'm running late I just focus on getting my work done as quickly as possible and explaining later if I'm egregiously late. However, the circumstances in this case were so catastrophic that it merited advising. Essentially, I'd lost about two days worth of writing and a Scrivener file where I kept a good chunk of worldbuilding stuff. Thankfully it was more of a master primer, I have the majority of the info scattered between different stuff in the cloud. And obviously it's all in my head, I've drafted this story so many times. I already have most of the stuff I need sorted back into my new master primer. The most mind-numbing aspect, apart from redownloading all of my programs and updating all of my drivers, was trying to figure out the login info for all the sites I use. I'm still scratching my head wondering wtf my Canva email address is. So it's been a hectic few days of nonstop tech woes but I am back at it now and will be focused on writing as quickly as I can (without sacrificing quality). I've already told my husband and the kids that I'm going goblin mode this week and they'll have to figure out how to cook for themselves and operate a broom while I work.

The answer is this week, I just don't want to give an official day because I cannot handle being late again this month. I find being behind schedule immensely stressful. However I am currently working on Dark Maiden (I'm actually just stopping now to eat lunch and catch up on some of my inbox) and I'll be writing it all day. When I publish will depend on if I opt to finish the moonday + 4th dream and publish or push through to the night. Given that the night will be loaded with sex, it'll probably be the former as quality sex takes a few days to write and I'd rather not rush it.

[misskattylashes]

Big Ideas – an analysis….

Thank you to @lalaballa for suggesting I share my analysis of this song, so here goes..

On the surface it looks quite simple, that it is about the process of recording a song and the excitement that goes with it. But I think that it goes deeper than that and actually has a link to One Point Perspective.

In an earlier post, I said how I think the opening verse of OPP ‘dancing in my underpants etc..’ is about young Alex and his youthful exuberance and enthusiasm for the band, which gets hampered by ‘Mr Winter Wonderland’ (ie the industry) so he ends up at a point where he wants to call it quits, but he can’t.

Well, that's quite a number to sing Spotlit, getting lowered in Can you co-direct and play the twins

I think this is about the beginning of their career, hence the spotlight being lowered in, and the number to sing is more than likely Dancefloor, because it caused such a stir when it was released because it sounded so unlike anything else. By the twins, I think Alex is referring to himself, as we have discussed until we are blue in the face, there are two Alex’s, the private one and the public one. And as I have spoken with many of you about before, the early image of AM was carefully constructed. I can remember the sheer shock of discovering Alex’s parents were teachers, because they had been presented as chavs, and Alex a boy genius with a god-given talent (which he was, but he also had parents who no doubt had lots of books at home, and also his dad is a music teacher…). So from day one, he was having to pretend to be someone he wasn’t, so we get the twin version of himself.

And adapt the main theme for mandolins? I've conjured up wonderful things The ballad of what could've been Over and out It's been a thrill

This is self explanatory because he has conjured up wonderful things, no doubt about that, but I will touch upon the ‘ballad of what could have been’, shortly. Over and out and it’s been a thrill, unfortunately sounds like he’s finally going to get the exit he wanted in OPP.

I had big ideas, the band were so excited The kind you'd rather not share over the phone But now, the orchestra's got us all surrounded And I cannot for the life of me remember how they go

This to me is the verse that links back to OPP. The word excitement sounds like it is talking about youth, and the phrase, ‘the kind you’d rather not share over the phone’. In this day and age, we mostly communicate via email and text, whereas in the early 2000s, phone would have been the main method of communication. But I don’t think the orchestra is what we think, the orchestra is Alex double speak for the music industry. After all, AM’s career has been far more orchestrated than it is liked to be believed (Mr Winter Wonderland), and the I cannot for the life of me remember how they go, is similar to ‘Forgive Me Man I’ve Lost my Train of Thought’. Alex’s original plans have been overridden by the industry and he has lost sight of his original objectives.

Coordinated release Nationwide festivities We had 'em out of their seats Wavin' their arms and stompin' their feet Some were just hysterical scenes The ballad of what could've been Over and out

This verse is very clever and I do believe it is double speak. Much was made of AM watching the postponed Euros in 2021 while they were recording The Car. For anyone who doesn’t know, England made the semi-final and it looked as for the first time since 1966 we were going to win a major tournament, but we ended up coming fourth (the ballad of what could have been).

However…

I think Alex is talking about Whatever People Say I Am That’s What I’m Not. The release of this album was seismic in the UK, and people went crazy for it (I think it’s still the fastest selling debut LP in UK history). As I said, Alex was being hailed a genius, just an ordinary kid who managed to capture the zeitgeist so eloquently that young people saw him as a man of the people. If they had carried on this way, I don’t know how their careers would have gone. They might not have had the universal success they had (WPSIATWIN is very UK centric), but Alex had made an album doing the thing he loved, creating poetry to music that sounded like The Strokes.

However, by Favourite Worst Nightmare things have changed. Maybe due to the pressure of living a double life, or wanting to express himself more cryptically, the lyrics became more oblique, then of course once Alexa came along, media focus was on his personal life more than his actual talent (look up some old issues of Heat magazine online and you will see what I mean). No album Arctic Monkeys released since WPSIATWIN has ever captured the British imagination like that. By AM - which was their most accomplished album at that point, and launched them globally - a lot of the original British fans saw Alex as a parody of the very people he had criticised at the beginning, and they lost interest, and to them WPSIATWIN AM are a completely different band to SIAS/AM Era.

So, to summarise on the surface Big Ideas is a simple song about Alex writing a grand song but not being able to remember what he has written when the time comes to record it. But under the surface, it is Alex lamenting on his career, and where it went wrong – to a degree. But despite this, it has been a thrill.

Unfortunately, it definitely sounds like a goodbye. Whether it is just AM or the music industry completely, we can only wait and see.,

[shopwitchvamp]

hello and good evening! do you mind me asking how you took up learning to play the harp? it's one of my fave instruments :3

Hey! I don't mind 😊

I just started last month, but I've been a harp-coveter since I was a kid. Idk why it even popped into my mind, but around the start of the year when we were getting ready to move from Texas to Ohio I was like "I wonder if there's any harp teachers up there?" So I googled that and found out not only were there a few, there was one just like 20min away from where we now live. Once we got settled here I sent her an email and from that point everything fell into place shockingly fast! The first thing I had to overcome was just.. getting a harp, haha. She gave me some suggestions about where I could look for one, and one of the most popular stores (Virginia Harp Center) just so happened to have at that time a used harp of the exact model I most wanted (a Lyon and Healy Prelude 40), available rent-to-own. I sure don't have "buy a serious student harp outright" money right now so this was the best case scenario for me in all possible aspects! Once the harp got here I started in person harp lessons pretty much right away!!

So to sum up, "how" was really just "I followed a whim and then experienced a very unusual for me level of luck"

Also here's an obligatory picture of the gorgeous harp I still can't believe I managed to get:

(side note: me and my partner share one car between us and it's a Honda Civic. Which is not a spacious car by any means.. unsurprisingly the harp doesn't fit in it 😬 so I have to borrow my brother's car every time I go to my harp lessons, because thankfully it does fit in his car. If I ever get a new car it's likely my decision will be 99% harp based lol)

[cranberrymoons]

WAIT can you drop some wisdom on changing your life at 32 im 33 and i know SOMETHING needs to happen but i feel so trapped in my life TT TT (also oblogatory i think that buck calls eddie papi as a joke one time but it blows eddies mind and cue buck bouncing & squealing on it etc etc)

hi yes of course! I will acknowledge the privileged position I was in to have the freedom to do this (no spouse, no kids, mediumish financial stability) but to be really honest it was not easy and has not been a straight linear path. it was way more mental work than anything else, and I think the key to success at least for me really has been like a compilation of random things picked up from miscellaneous internet users "don't let yourself give up on yourself" "the time will pass anyway" "your fear of looking stupid is holding you back" "who cares what other people think about what you do with YOUR life" "the things you do during the day is how you are currently spending your life" "do it scared" like these are all random throwaway comments but I have actually repeated them to myself so so so many times. and said them in the mirror. and spoken them out loud in my car while I'm on my way to do something that is really really scary for one reason or another. and they have all genuinely helped me.

long rambling story below the cut lol also the papi thing is not my personal journey tbh but yay forever re buck bouncing on it 😌

about 18 months ago I had the Thing happen to me where your job that's been remote since covid suddenly decides they want everyone to be in the office. and so I had to decide if I wanted to move halfway across the country to do that, or if I wanted to lose my job. woohoo. :)

and so I started thinking about it and it kind of made me realize I actually fucking hated that job 😭 I'd been there for OVER FIVE YEARS and there were so many things I did notttt like that I had just kind of gotten used to? but as soon as I decided I didn't want to move for this job, it was like I could not stop noticing the things that had been like. low level annoying me for a really long time.

and so I started looking for a job and looking and looking and realized like. I don't actually want to do these jobs. the idea of taking another job like the one that I had was literally making me feel sick to my stomach (it was a vague email job where I had like a "project manager" type of title but even though I had that job for 5 years I honestly do not really know what I did all day or what my job really was. one of those like extremely fake office jobs that still somehow manages to give you anxiety because everyone else is always talking about how BUSY they are etc)

and anyway long internal personal journey blah blah blah, I started to say to myself like. you are 31-32 YEARS OLD!!!! it is time to finally be an active participant in your own life instead of just doing what everyone else wants you to do. but also like – okay, so you don't want to do this vague officey email job, but you have to do SOMETHING so what do you want to do??

and eventually I noticed this pattern in my life of like, I have always sort of done the thing that's *next to* the thing I actually want to do. if that makes sense? like – I've always done the thing that "makes more sense" for what people expect of me, or the easier option, or the thing that feels safer. idk. so I was like okay – moonshot, you can do whatever you want, life is just an open world video game (again, I am unmarried and don't have kids, so there's no one directly depending on me to take less risks, which makes this a little easier). if you could do anything, what would you want to do.

and so over the past year and a half, I quit my job, took a pay cut to take an easier/chill fun job in the meantime while I went back to school, started to get super in shape for literally the first time in my life lol, became an EMT, and now I'm planning to start with a fire academy at the end of the summer, which is like 70% something I have actually always wanted to do but was embarrassed about for some reason / 30% hyperfixation so strong it became a profession. which – turns out! – is a profession that I am actually super good at and love in a way that I have never loved a job before. like, looking back at my life 2 years ago it is unrecognizable to what I'm doing now. yay.

[kidspawn]

Since this used to be such a hot topic of discourse in the fandom, I’m keen to know your thoughts on Adam’s major

This is an ask I am delighted to have received, because this is a topic I have devoted far too much time picking apart. I wish that meant I had a succinct answer, but to be honest you knew what you were getting into sending me an ask. Especially an Adam-related ask. I have many, many thoughts. Not just because I'm writing college age Gangsey and I've devoted a lot of time to this concept, I genuinely just find this thread of thought fascinating and ripe for character analysis. Mild spoilers for Adam's arc in The Dreamer Trilogy, especially Greywaren.

Dissecting Adam's college major, I think, hinges entirely on what state of character development he's in, how many majors he's tried, how attached he stays to Ronan, his relationship with himself and his perception on success. More on that later, but it's crucial (I think) to know what major Adam chooses, what he'd enjoy, and what actually thematically works for him.

So, starting with canon knowledge, I'm fairly certain he's confirmed to be a psychology major as of Call Down the Hawk/Mister Impossible. This could be me making a logical leap, but he's “studying humanity” which points to Psychology or Sociology. I'm actually very fond of Psych major Adam, for numerous reasons I'll get into in a second. But yeah. And we know he's struggling quite a bit during this period of time, with identity and a loneliness he can't seem to break through. And after this, he transfers to multiple colleges in quick succession, before ultimately not graduating and entering into his ultra-mysterious government job. (I have mixed feelings on this.)

Here's how those years pan out, in my head: Adam transfers out of Harvard, to an equally prestigious college. He tries a new major, this time, knowing Psychology didn't work. Maybe the study was the problem, so he reapplies himself in an equally enticing discipline. I'd like to think, after all the occurs in Greywaren (especially with Ronan deviating and able to access things outside of the Barns, outside of Adam) he regresses a bit and tries for pre Law. Pre Law, to him, comes with the pressed suit and success he idealized as a child. It feels fitting, after a perceived failure, that he'd latch onto his adolescent definition of success. I think he'd do well, apply himself, perform admirably, but ultimately realize he fucking hates lawyers. And it doesn't click. Nothing passionate in him, just a resigned way of being. So, another transfer. Another Adam Parrish reinvention, another fresh start, a clean slate. What follows is a series of identity rewrites, different uniforms and backstreets and passions and sets of friends and parents to fabricate a new existence. And each one takes him further and further away from what he really wants. This culminates in the government email, from all his work along the ley line, all his whispers in the world of magic, and ends us at the Greywaren epilogue. (This is me weaving headcanon into the epilogue, not quite how I'd write Adam's story, but this is ending we've been given, and I find the serpentine nature of it immensely fascinating.)

Now, moving into majors I actively enjoy, say, reading or writing in. This is not a diss on any other assigned major - I can be persuaded to enjoy Adam in nearly any major or career, especially if it's written out well. That's part of the problem, is my opinion. I'm going to be kind of mean to Adam here, so let me start on a positive note: Adam is very academically inclined. Not even as a form of survival, he's just... a smart kid. He enjoys picking the world apart and analyzing what surrounds him. He's got the work ethic for traditional education, he's polite and listens to authority, he's inquisitive and skilled in academia. Whether he likes it, who's to say? There's little he indicates in regards to pleasure gained in academics. I'm actually of the mind he likes school because it is 1. A key to success and 2. He is good at it, and Adam likes being good at things. I fully believe he'd do well in nearly any academic path he picked, because Adam doesn't necessarily need joy to succeed academically. Just the drive to prevail and endure. So, taking this in mind, I think half the problem is Adam not really... enjoying any of these fields, just being good at it and seeing success at the end of the tunnel. The other half is his fucking identity crisis. What does he want? Who does he want to become? Those things directly conflict and make it truly difficult to find a major he'd want to pursue. He's being tugged in so many directions. Hence, while I think Adam would go to college as a means to an end, I've never actually seen Adam as someone who enjoys the actual act of school and academia. (I do think he enjoys perceiving and questioning and investigating the world, prying and analyzing. He enjoys problem solving. I digress. That wasn't the question.)

My Adam Parrish college major headcanons, my personal view, breaks down into: what I think he studied, what actually makes sense in the context of his character and his qualities, and my self-indulgent “omg i wish he studied it he'd love it.” I've already talked about what I think actually went down. I think he bounced through majors. Specifically, psych and sociology and law, maybe two or three more. But maybe more on my other opinions:

So, for an Adam Parrish major, I think there's some criteria that must be met:

1. Something in STEM. Adam is, at his core, very tactile and factual. He's not just the “science guy” for a joke. He's literally hardwired to perceive the world with the scientific method. I can't see him not studying a science pathway.

2. Monetary success. I don't even care if this seems reductive for character development, I actively think Adam would sit down, chart all career options, and choose the ones with the most profit. He'd balance passion and interest with a lucrative career. Whatever job he gets has to pay well.

3. Something that makes a good impression. I think Adam cares about what people think of him. I think he wants a diploma that brings a swell of pride in him. Something people find impressive, because it proves he is impressive. Rags to riches when it's done. For all his work after TRK, he still cares deeply what others see him as.

4. Something challenging. Adam canonically needs to be mentally occupied. It serves as a distraction. It keeps him sane. I don't think he's enjoy or want to pursue anything that isn't at least a LITTLE academically stimulating.

5. Something that lets him help people. This is largely a TRK headcanon, where he mentions as he leaves the trailer for the last time, that he wants to help all the Adams he knows are stuck there. I love this, actually. I genuinely adore this idea. Adam is good with kids. He cares about helping people, wants to become the person he needed the most when he was a kid. I adore this idea. I think this is a criteria that he keeps close to his chest, and it doesn't always have to be met for a great story. (I actually find the idea of Adam sacrificing this desire in favour of success wonderful ground for character study.) But at my very core, I love Adam pursuing a degree that opens doors to help people. However that looks.

Now, I can gush about majors I'd actually give Adam. In a lot of fic I write or miscellaneous commentary, I reference Adam being a psych major. I love love love Adam being a psych major. I have no clue what the fandom consensus is, but this is genuinely so fitting for his character. Not even narratively. Like, as a person, Adam being a psych major makes sense. Specifically, Adam being a psych dropout makes sense. (I do not think he gets a psych degree. I think he switches majors. Allow me to explain.)

I used to loath psych major Adam. I hated it. And then, I sat down and thought about the implications of psych major Adam. Adam, who picks the world and the people around him apart. Who operates as a fly on the wall, psychoanalyzes and makes assumptions based on human behavior, who's learned to read body language and intent. Who hones in on microscopic self expression, who builds assumptions and makes rash judgements based in behavior alone. Who sits and builds hypothesis on behavior based on empirical evidence. Introspective, analytical Adam Parrish who spends half the fucking series psychoanalyzing his friends and strangers in grocery stores and himself.

Adam spends so much time picking his own self apart, trying to understand who he is. And I find that, on a more sentimental level, pursuing psych gives him clinical distance to pick himself apart? There's a way to understand who he is and what that means about his role in humanity as a whole. The phrasing of that statement in the cut Adam chapter, set at Harvard, specifically speaks on studying humanity. I find that fascinating? I love that he seeks to comprehend human nature, and I think a part of him wants to apply that inward and figure out who he is. For a character who isn't entirely sure who he is or what he wants, a major pursuing that knowledge has to be crack. And it's why I think he'd drop it.

I don't know if this is common sentiment, but I've always heard two jokes about psych majors: they trauma dump like no one's business, and they'll always always change majors. I think Adam, first of all, fucking hates other psych majors. Specifically because I think Adam, who I adore (really need to stress this), kind of struggles to comprehend other people could suffer too? It's a point of contention in the base series that Adam sort of builds this monopoly on suffering, that he alone is the sole bearer of burden. It makes him clash with Ronan, with Blue, with Gansey. No one has suffered as much as Adam has. And that is said with love and understanding that Adam's childhood fucking sucked. That he has every right to acknowledge how difficult his life has been. But oftentimes, his self esteem and his mental health make him incredibly self absorbed and prone to dismissing other suffering as lesser or insignificant. No one is worse than Adam Parrish, no one has suffered more. (And if that sounds harsh, please reread the cut chapter. His perspective on Ronan in TRB. On Gansey. His actual textual arguments with Blue and Ronan when they call him out on this. I adore him, I do this too, that belief that I alone have suffered and no one else had. It took years of therapy to deprogram. It's not a moral statement on my end, it is something I find unfortunately relatable about Adam and something I appreciate has been stressed in his characterization.) This is to say I think he'd be fucking annoyed with psych majors psychoanalyzing each other. There's going to be an element of, "you don't know what it is to suffer." and rolling his eyes at other kids. I reiterate: Adam would hate other psych majors. (Which has great comedic potential, btw.)

I also believe, for all that pursuing psych might help him achieve some theoretical enlightenment, it'd also make him immensely uncomfortable. Strip him bare and force him to confront his demons. I don't see Adam “emotional repression” Parrish being willing to sit in his own human complexity. I think he likes the idea of knowing himself, but there’s a vulnerability in self analysis that Adam does not sit well in. Love him, tho. You go king.

My other reason revolves around him canonically enjoying debate on the human perception and experience. His conversation with Aurora, the way he experiences with love, revolves around discussing if two people perceive colour the same way. Which leads me to believe if Adam actually sat with psychology past the first two semesters, he'd love the theology and concepts of psychological study. Diving into the human brain, with a scalpel and vigour, appeals to Adam as a way to understand the world. The more I discuss it, the more I convince myself I adore psych student Adam who realizes he maybe hates other psych students and can't handle the reflection staring from his textbook. Adam, love, go to therapy. He would hate therapy.

But in my heart of hearts, he doesn't stick with it. For aforementioned reasons. I just think it feels too real. But god, in some universe Adam Parrish went into juvenile psychology.

My more self indulgent Adam major is another one I kind of fucking hated at first, before I came around. I love engineer major Adam. I do. I really really do. Specifically, mechanical, civil, environmental, or architectural engineering. First of all, applies for the same reasons I like him in a psych major - solving the world by picking it apart. But it takes a step back, sticks with those laws of nature upon which Adam so desperately clings. Math, science, physics. Tangible, real, results. Results you can calculate. Minimal human variability. Factors you can always account for. There's a way to change the world and comprehend it in a way that doesn't demolish his reality (he struggles with things that break his perception of the world, specifically magic). And this ties into another element of Adam I like: the joining of two impossibilities. I adore Adam restructuring cities, buildings, landscapes to accommodate ley lines. It's why I pick those specific engineering disciplines. It combines this scientific side of Adam Parrish, his comprehension of the world, with the magic that has informed his existence. He can pursue his goals, protect the ley lines, and make some good fucking money doing it. I will always always always adore engineering Adam. This is my actual answer. Engineer major Adam. Who started as a psych major and realized there is nothing wrong with the title of engineer, that not being a lawyer or a doctor or some revolutionary public figure does not mean failure - it is uniquely his. He didn't take engineering from anyone. It's a pursuit all his own, that weaves together the numerous contradictions of Adam Parrish.

(Architectural Engineer Adam is one I adore because it is 1. super self indulgent and I know this and own up to it, and 2. Every fucking architect I know is some weird ass cryptid control freak who goes on and on about making a lasting imprint on the world because of fucking course. Detail oriented freaks who never drink water and stay hunched over our damn fucking computer that keeps crashing while we enable our CAD software fuck you computer i have arthritis-) But tbh, I veer into Environmental or Civil engineering with a special soft spot for Architectural Engineer Adam I don't think is canon but I will never let that idea go and I will push that agenda. However, realistically, Environmental or Civil Engineering.

(I do enjoy all other Adam variants. The thematic power of Law student Adam, I think premed Adam is hot, I love love me a forensics or criminal justice Adam. I am so pro Adam being written into any major. This is just my approach to writing Adam in college.)

Thank you for attending my TED talk. As you can see, I think about this a LOT. Like, way way too much. I think about the Gangsey in college so fucking much. And Adam's journey through college is, really, a way to navigate his character arc. Imo. Hope you enjoy this.

[helloalycia]

𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒 [𝐎𝐍𝐄] — 𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐂𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐍𝐀𝐌-𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐘

summary: it was only supposed to be a summer job, and yet it became so much more when you met the girl you'd soon fall in love with.

warning/s: none.

author's note: okay so being ill recently has delayed me getting this out lol, my bad. Either way, it’s finally here and will have a few parts. It’s an au so Alycia isn’t famous in this, but yeah! hope you like it! :)

just to note: Y/S/N = your sister's name and Y/M/N = your mum's name

two / three / four / five/ masterlist / wattpad

Prologue Part One...

"I want to congratulate you all, once again, on getting this job. Hopefully you'll enjoy this summer as much as we all do!"

I squinted my eyes as I looked at my employer giving a longwinded speech about how myself and a bunch of other 17-year-olds got the job to work as camp counsellors at a summer camp.

"Before you go, I want to remind you that your emails should have all of the relevant information regarding your buddy. This should help you both settle in nicely and make friends. After all, a happy team is good for the kids."

My employer, Mr. Fox, smiled at the group of us as we all waited impatiently to get on the coach already.

As if reading our minds, the coach driver approached him and mumbled something to him, making him straighten up and nod. The coach driver headed back to the coach, getting in, as Mr. Fox cleared his throat.

"Okay, you should all get going now, but remember to have fun! This is more than just a job, it's an experience!"

He looked out at us all, as if expecting some sort of reaction, but everyone stayed staring at him until he waved us away. I followed the group of teens onto the coach, taking a seat in the middle by the window since I was one of the first few on.

I didn't really know anybody, at least I didn't think I did. The job came up as an opportunity advertised at school and I applied because I needed the money before I headed off to university. My friends didn't want to do it with me which meant I was alone, but I tried not to worry about it too much. Making friends wasn't impossible.

As I put my seatbelt on and got comfortable, a pretty girl stopped by my seat and looked down questioningly.

"Is this seat taken?" she asked, and I noticed she had an accent that I couldn't quite pinpoint just yet.

"No, go for it," I said with a small smile.

She flashed me an easygoing smile in return, before putting her backpack up top and taking a seat beside me. Admittedly, I grew a little nervous as I realised there and then that it had been a long time since I'd had to make friends with someone, and I couldn't for the life of me remember how to make conversation.

"So what's your name?" she asked, taking the lead (to my relief).

"Y/N," I said with a nod. "Y/N Y/L/N."

"Y/N," she repeated, and I still couldn't figure out where she was from – Australia, maybe? Or New Zealand? I could never tell the difference – but it sounded pretty cool. "Nice to meet you, Y/N... wait, I think we're buddies! Hold on..."

She pulled out her phone and began to scroll through a bunch of stuff before nodding in agreement and showing me her email.

"Right there. Y/N Y/L/N." She smiled widely. "We're buddies."

I chuckled at her enthusiasm. "I guess we are... so you must be Alycia?"

"Alycia," she repeated in agreement. "Alycia Debnam-Carey."

"Well, nice to meet you too, Alycia," I said, before adding curiously, "I'm sorry, this is going to sound stupid, but where are you from?"

She chuckled and it sounded adorable, lighting up the whole coach. "I'm from Australia, but I've lived here for a few years now."

"Ah, I figured it was Australia," I said, nodding my head. "Makes sense."

"No problem," she said with amusement. "I'm guessing you're from around here then."

"Yeah, I go to [your school name]," I said, turning so I could face her better.

"Oh, see, I go to [another school name]," she said with realisation. "Not far from each other."

"Apparently not," I said with a stifled smile. "So what made you want to do this? You really love kids or something?"

She nodded in agreement. "Yes, actually, that's exactly it."

"I was kidding."

She laughed quietly. "Well, I wasn't. I just thought it would be nice to do something like this before I go to university. Spice up my summer a bit."

I nodded in acknowledgment and she stared at me curiously.

"How about you?" she asked, and the coach began to move off when she did.

"I'd like to say it was something cute like your answer," I admitted, "but I just needed the money to be honest."

She cracked a smile and I noticed how it matched her eyes perfectly.

"It seemed like a good way to make some more money before uni," I continued. "Plus, I guess, like you said, it should make for a good summer. I mean, the activities these kids get to do..." I raised an eyebrow. "Canoeing? Rock climbing? Pottery class? That's some rich people shit right there. I definitely never did that as a kid."

She snickered, nodding in agreement. "Fair point. It looks fun, that's for sure."

I hummed in agreement.

"Also, you're not like, a weirdo, so that means being buddies should be fun," she added.

I felt my cheeks heating up as I smiled with amusement. "Er, thanks, I guess?"

Her green eyes lit up as she mirrored my smile. "It's a compliment."

I couldn't help but laugh. "I figured."

She got comfortable in her seat and looked down the aisle before sighing to herself. "How long is this trip again?"

I checked my watch. "It's nine now, so... three hours, give or take."

"Awesome, I'm gonna take a nap," she said instantly, before crossing her arms and shuffling about until she found a spot.

"You're tired?"

"Didn't sleep much last night," she said as she closed her eyes. "Don't wanna be crabby when I'm there."

I quirked a brow as I studied her. She was anything but crabby, and in fact seemed like she was wide awake. Strange girl, for sure.

"You're staring," she said, before opening an eye and looking at me. "What's up?"

My lips curled into a smile and I soon began to shake my head, stifling laughter. "No reason. I guess I'll wake you when we're there."

She opened her other eye and smiled tiredly, before giving me a cute little nod. "Greatly appreciated, love."

I ran a hand through my hair as my smile somehow stayed fixed on my face. She closed her eyes again and I distracted myself by looking out the window, but all I could think about was how strange this girl next to me was.

I was unpacking my suitcase when the camp leader was making her rounds in the counsellors' cabin. There were several bunk beds and I was sharing with Alycia, who dibbed the top bunk after claiming she'd always wanted one as a kid. Again, strange girl, what'd I tell you?

"...and who do we have next?"

I looked up from my suitcase and saw the camp leader approaching Alycia and I with a warm smile – a blonde woman in her forties. Alycia jumped off the top bunk and joined my side, smiling widely at me before looking to the leader.

"I'm Y/N Y/L/N," I introduced myself, returning the leader's smile.

"Great to have you here, Y/N," she said enthusiastically. "I'm just introducing myself to everyone and letting them know who I am and what my role is. So, I guess," she laughed, "I'm Marissa and I'm your point of contact for any issues or queries you have."

"So, my boss?" I suggested with a raised eyebrow.

"Technically, yes," she nodded, then shook her head, "but I hate the way that makes me sound. So consider me one of your colleagues, like everyone else here."

"Okay, cool," I said with a nod, before looking to a quiet Alycia, wondering when she'd introduce herself.

"And would you look who decided to sign up for this summer," Marissa said knowingly, smirking at Alycia. "Alycia Debnam-Carey."

Alycia smiled awkwardly and I grew confused. Did they know each other or something...?

"I see you read my name on the list," Alycia said quickly, motioning to the clipboard in Marissa's hand. "I mean, how else would you know who I am?"

"What are you talking about, silly? Why wouldn't I know my only niece–"

"Nice, thank you! So are you, Marissa," Alycia cut her off, nodding her head.

I looked between them both as, clearly, Alycia was terrible at hiding the fact that she was Marissa's niece. I wasn't sure why she was hiding it, but whatever. It was too amusing to witness.

"Okay...," Marissa said with confusion, eyeing Alycia curiously, before looking between us with a smile again. "I'll leave you lovely ladies to settle in. There's no pressure today since the kids will arrive tomorrow, but do read your handbooks for more information. And if you have any questions, feel free to find me or any of the other supervisors."

I nodded and watched her leave, before leaning against the bunk as Alycia looked everywhere but at me.

With an entertained smile, I said, "So you're related, huh?”

She played it off very badly. "Pfft, what? What are you talking about?"

I chuckled. "You're very strange, you know that? But don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

She finally met my eyes, startling green ones filled with relief as a sheepish smile spread on her lips. "Thank you..."

"I mean, I'm definitely curious why you're hiding it, but I'm sure I'll find out eventually," I added, before going back to my suitcase.

"Sure...," she said sarcastically, before jumping up onto the top bunk to finish unpacking.

The next morning, the kids arrived in coaches and were getting their initiation in the main hall, leaving all the camp councillors to prepare for their daily activities.

Alycia and I were assigned to fishing for the morning, so we found ourselves by the lake in the early morning sun. It was beautiful out and I was grateful to be spending the summer in such a lovely area. I couldn't have imagined being somewhere like this otherwise, or even having the opportunity to.

"Okay, so according to this, we need to find the instructors and the fishing cabin," I said as I studied the handbook. "It should be nearby apparently. Hold on, let me get my map."

"No need, I know the way," Alycia said with a shrug, before leading the way.

"Oh, awesome," I said, following after her and falling into step. "How d'you know where it is?"

Alycia paused, before answering, "Studied the map last night."

I hummed, impressed. "That explains how you knew where to find breakfast this morning."

She chuckled and I cracked a smile before looking ahead. Indeed, Alycia was correct as I saw a cabin up ahead, presumably where the instructors were.

"So, are you excited to get our group of kids today?" I asked, glancing her way.

She smiled with ease. "Yeah, I am. It should be fun! Aren't you?"

"I guess," I said, noticing how her excitement was contagious and made me feel like a smile was permanently fixed onto my face. "Let's hope they like us."

She slapped me gently on the arm, taking me by surprise.

"Pardon you?" I said sarcastically with a quirked brow.

"Why would would you say that?" she asked incredulously, an amused smile on her face. "Of course they'll like us... right?"

I chuckled. "Seriously? You're fussed about that?"

"As much as I love kids, you can get some really evil ones," she said knowingly. "You don't want to be on the wrong side of an evil child, Y/N."

"Clearly you've been," I realised, finding her expression amusing. "Care to share?"

She rolled her eyes playfully. "It wasn't me actually. It was a friend of mine. We were doing work experience at some primary school when one of the boys threw water balloons at her."

"That doesn't seem so bad," I said with a shrug.

"She was holding a tray of hot tea," Alycia added bitterly.

I winced. "Damn... remind me not to carry tea around or piss off any water balloon-owning boys."

Alycia breathed out with exasperation, but I could see her laugh lines appearing as she held one in.

"C'mon, let's get settled," I said to her when we reached the cabin.

After meeting the fishing instructors and being told what and what not to do, Alycia and I joined them by the lake and waited around until our group would finish with initiation.

"You know," I said, earning Alycia's attention, "I was thinking about yesterday and how you didn't want me to know about Marissa being your auntie."

Alycia closed her eyes. "Oh, god..."

"Nobody will care, y'know," I said to her with a reassuring smile. "We're all grown up. Nobody cares how you got the job, if that's what you're worried about."

Alycia opened her eyes and forced a small smile. "Right."

"I mean, it's not like your family owns the camp, is it?"

I was only joking, but the way Alycia's face changed made me realise that maybe I was right. Her eyes widened so much that I could make out the green, even with the sun streaming in my eyes.

My jaw dropped. "Your family owns the camp?!" Everything started to fit together like puzzle pieces in my mind as I realised aloud, "That makes so much sense... why you know where everything is. You were here as a kid, right? You would have to be if your family owned it."

Overcoming her terrible ability to lie, Alycia moved forward and glanced around before smiling dismissively. "That's not it. I mean, it is, but–"

"Wait, aren't the people who own this place like millionaires?" I realised, raising my eyebrows. "This is one of their many camps around the world, right? Shit, is that why you wanted to hide it?"

"That's not right!" Alycia exclaimed awkwardly. "I mean, okay, it is, but it's not my family. It's my auntie's family! She's the millionaire. Not me."

I smiled with disbelief. "Holy shit. That's wild."

"Look, it's not that big of a deal," she tried to laugh it off nervously, "I just needed a summer job and my aunt helped me out. She lives here and runs this camp, so she didn't mind giving me the job. No biggie."

I was still very surprised, never knowing anyone who was this closely linked to a wealth of that amount. I always assumed people with that much money were quite snobby – presumptuous, I know, but can you blame me? – but Alycia was way too nice to be like that, as was her auntie. Guess I was wrong.

"Look, I get why you hid it now," I said, hoping to reassure her. "Terribly, might I add, but I get it." I smiled to hopefully make her feel better. "Like you said, it's not a big deal. Don't worry. I won't say anything to anyone."

She seemed very relieved as her shoulders relaxed and an appreciative glint was in her eyes.

"Thank you," she said gently.

Sensing her discomfort, I tried to change the subject as I nudged her in the shoulder gently and nodded to my fishing rod. "So, how are your fishing skills?"

"They should be good," she said, piquing my interest, "since I was one of the kids who did the 'rich people shit' here when I was younger."

It took me a second to realise where I'd heard that before, until I realised I'd said that to her on the coach ride yesterday. Cringing with embarrassment, I face palmed as I heard her laughter surrounding me.

"Sorry for saying that," I apologised with warm cheeks. "If I had known..."

"It's cool," she said with a suppressed smile. "But seriously? I can help if you need any. I fished at a camp back in Australia as a kid. Was pretty fun."

I nodded, but I still felt embarrassed as she studied me with humoured eyes.

Why was I like this?

"It's been two weeks, mum, are you really gonna do this every day for the next month?"

My mum smiled teasingly, knowing it would bug me. Nonetheless, I cracked a smile as she and my little sister stared at me through the phone.

I was FaceTiming them in my free time and updating them on my life since almost twenty-four hours ago when I'd last called them. I'd been doing it every day since arriving here because my family just happened to be that annoyingly protective.

"You know I'm extremely jealous of you, right?" my sister, Y/S/N, said with an eye roll, though she was smiling. "Mum keeps giving me chores. Bit of a piss-take if you ask me."

My mum slapped her upside the head, making me laugh at her expression.

"Mind your fuckin' language, Y/S/N," she warned, only making me laugh harder.

"I wonder where she gets it from," I joked.

"So, how's it going?" my mum changed the subject. "What did you do today?"

I thought to myself as I recalled the day. "Er, same old same old. Went for a hike this morning, then had some lunch. Did some rock climbing in the afternoon and now we're having some leisure time before dinner. It's not too bad. Really fun, actually."

"You should've taken me with you," Y/S/N mumbled, making my mum nudge her with annoyance.

"Shut up, you love it here," my mum said, before pulling her close with a teasing smile. She looked to me, adding, "We're having fun too, Y/N."

"All she keeps saying is how much she misses you," Y/S/N deadpanned, making me roll my eyes playfully.

"Funny since I feel like I've barely left 'cause I call you every bloody day," I said with a knowing look.

"You know your dad likes it when you check in," my mum countered.

"Yeah, so do you," I fired back, making her laugh.

"Yeah," she agreed between laughter.

Before I could say anything, I looked up at the sound of the cabin door opening and saw Alycia walking in. When she spotted me, a smile appeared on her lips and her eyes lit up.

"There you are," she said, approaching me. "I was looking for you. I wanted to ask if– oh, shit, are you on the phone? Sorry. I can leave if–"

"Who's that?" my sister asked curiously.

"Oi, you finally made friends?" my mum joked a little too loudly, making me smile with embarrassment and kill myself internally.

"Sorry, that's my family," I explained to Alycia. "It's okay. If you need me, I can–"

"Hi, Y/N's friend who I've never met before and probably never will!" Y/S/N sang from the phone, making me release a shaky breath through gritted teeth.

Alycia was clearly amused as she took a seat beside me on my bed and appeared in the camera.

"Hi there," she greeted politely, a shy smile on her face. She gave a little wave as she glanced to me, before adding, "I'm Alycia."

For someone with a big mouth, Y/S/N went quiet as she awkwardly waved back in response.

"Not so much to say now, eh, tit face?" I mumbled.

"Alycia, you must be Y/N's buddy, right?" my mum realised, surprising me with how much she listened. "The one from Australia?"

I sighed to myself as Alycia laughed from beside me.

"Yeah, that's me," Alycia said with a nod. "I'm guessing you're Y/N's mum?"

"She's probably talked badly of me when mentioning me, right?" my mum joked, making me groan loudly.

Alycia nudged me in the shoulder gently as she answered my mum, "Only nice things, Mrs. Y/L/N, honestly."

"Call me Y/M/N," my mum insisted. "So, how are you finding the whole camp thing? You enjoying it?"

"She's just gonna talk your ear off, so you may as well just take it," I said to Alycia, handing her my phone.

With amusement, she accepted it and began to chat to my mum on FaceTime. Y/S/N chimed in some times and I merely sat there, praying to God that none of them would say anything embarrassing, which of course was unlikely.

"Right, I'll leave you girls to it," my mum said after ten minutes of pointless conversation. "Enjoy your evening. Love you lots, Y/N."

Feeling Alycia watching me, I got out with embarrassment, "Love you too, mum. Bye."

She waved goodbye to me before hanging up. When I put my phone away, I stood up and avoided Alycia's eyes.

"Sorry about that," I said awkwardly. "She does that a lot."

"No need to apologise," Alycia said with a kind smile as she stood up too. "They're lovely."

I finally met her eyes, giving her a knowing look. "They're embarrassing. My mum literally insists on one call every day to make sure I didn't happen to die in the forest or anything."

Alycia's smile widened as she laughed at my joke. Admittedly, my stomach flipped at the sound, as I realised just how amazing her laugh sounded.

"That's sweet though," Alycia defended.

"It's sweet when it's not your own parents," I countered.

She shrugged. "I guess. Mine aren't that overprotective."

I leaned against the bunk as I asked, "Have you talked to yours since we got here?"

"Once, when we arrived, but nothing since then," she said with a shrug. "They're not fussed since my auntie is here.

"Ah," I said with realisation. "Makes sense. She literally does this for a living, no wonder they trust you."

She chuckled and nodded, before crossing her arms and looking down at her shoes.

"What do you parents do?" I asked curiously.

"Oh, you know...," she said dismissively. "Finance."

"Sounds... fun," I said with a confused smile, before adding, "Your parents and your auntie must be complete opposites."

She cracked a smile as she shrugged again. "Yeah."

"What did you need anyway?" I asked. "When you came in before my mum hijacked our conversation to speak with you?"

Alycia raised her brows with realisation. "Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask if you wanted to get dinner together. You don't have to though."

I couldn't help but smile. "Sure thing. I see you're not sick of me just yet."

As we began to walk to the door, she glanced at me with a playful smile. "Surprisingly, no, I'm not."

I shoved her jokingly, making her stifle a laugh, before feeling my phone vibrate. I saw it was a text from my sister.

She's way too pretty to be your friend, it read, making me roll my eyes.

"Who is it?" Alycia asked as she held the door open for me.

"Sister," I said, before nodding appreciatively at her and walking through.

"Already?" she asked with confusion. "She okay?"

As I wrote my response, I answered, "Yeah, she's just being a tit."

Dickhead, I texted her back, before smiling with satisfaction and pocketing my phone.

When I signed up for this job, I honestly didn't expect to be enjoying it this much. Not only were the kids lovely, but so were the other workers. Plus, the activities were super fun, especially because we basically got paid to have a good time.

I'd like to think I had a new friend also, which was Alycia. We'd grown closer in the past four weeks of being buddies and working together, and to my surprise, it felt like we'd known each other way longer. I couldn't remember the last time I'd grown this comfortable with someone so quickly, but I tried not to question it since I was trying to enjoy this summer the best I could.

Speaking of Alycia... I was talking to one of the instructors about where the spare hiking boots were one day, and when I finished my conversation and the instructor left, I was approached by the Australian herself.

She had something behind her back as she smiled brightly my way, making my stomach do another flip, something I noticed it had been doing a lot whenever I was around her.

"Hey," I greeted her, returning the smile. "You good?"

She glanced over her shoulder for some reason, before nodding and revealing what was behind her back – some freshly picked flowers.

"Aww, Alycia, those are beautiful," I said, admiring them and giving her a smile. I knew how much she loved flowers, so this wasn't too unexpected. "You wanna put them in the cabin?"

"No, actually, they're for you," she said confidently, before holding them closer to me.

I was certainly surprised, but accepted the flowers. "Oh, I– er, wow, thank you."

I wasn't too sure if she was giving me them in a friendly way or in a bit-more-than-friendly way, so my brain was still catching up.

"I wanted to ask you if you wanted to accompany me to the campfire this evening," she said, her gaze softening ever so slightly, making my throat go dry.

Was she asking me out?

"Oh, er...," I began, but was still a little confused.

She sensed my confusion and subtly motioned to the kid that was standing nearby, watching us in the distance. I wasn't sure what that meant either, but Alycia's little nod made me play along.

"I'd love to," I said, thought it sounded more like a question as I quirked a brow.

She grinned and stepped back slightly, eyes lingering on mine. "Great. I'll see you later, Y/N."

Waving goodbye to her with my free hand, I called back, "See you later...?"

I watched as she walked away and eventually met with the kid, a young girl, in the distance and began talking to her about something. I was pretty confused, unsure whether that was for show or if she actually wanted to go with me, so I tried not to think about it as I put the flowers in some water and headed to the pottery room for our next class.

About twenty minutes later, I was sat at one of the benches with a few of the other kids, focusing my attention on carving into a pot I had made. It was pretty darn good, if I do say so myself, so I barely noticed when Alycia slipped onto the bench beside me until she leaned down on it and peered up at me with shimmering eyes.

"Hello," I said with a slight laugh, looking at her. "You okay?"

"Great," she settled, before looking at my pot. "Just as great as that looks."

"Cheers for that," I said, a little chuffed with myself, before distracting myself with carving a pattern.

A comfortable silence settled between us as she played with her own clay and I decorated mine, but I couldn't help but think about earlier and what she'd asked me. I wanted to know if she was genuinely asking or not, so I figured I'd just ask.

"Hey, Alycia," I got her attention without fully giving her mine so she wouldn't think I was thinking too hard on it. "D'you know earlier, when you asked me if I wanted to go to the campfire with you?"

"Yeah...?"

I licked my lips, a nervousness suddenly washing over me as I asked, "That was because of the kid, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah it was."

I swallowed hard as I nodded, trying to hide my disappointment. "I thought it was."

I could see her staring at me in my peripheral vision as she explained.

"Basically, Angelina likes Taylor but didn't know how to ask her to the campfire tonight, so she asked me to show her how. So, I figured I'd ask you in front of her to show her."

I nodded, glad I wasn't meeting her gaze otherwise she'd know for sure that I was disheartened.

"Why? Did you want me to ask you?" she asked with a raised brow.

"No, that's not what I meant," I said quickly, flustered at the situation. "I– erm–" But I didn't know what to say, so stopped speaking.

Thankfully, she didn't take much notice as she looped her arm through mine and grabbed my attention. I looked at her and she nodded ahead, making me follow her gaze. I saw Angelina approaching another kid, presumably Taylor, with a bouquet of freshly-picked flowers, just like Alycia had done earlier.

I couldn't hear what they were saying, but Alycia was very interested as she leaned against me and watched like it was the most interesting thing ever. It must have been going well as it soon ended with Taylor accepting the flowers and both girls grinning to each other. Angelina eventually turned to walk away, but not before finding Alycia's eyes and giving her a thumbs up with an adorable grin.

Alycia returned the thumbs up before sitting up straight and smiling widely at me, a look of pride on her face.

"I am a genius," Alycia said aloud, before popping her collars on her polo shirt for added effect.

I cracked a smile, admiring how cute she looked. "Debatable, but you're definitely helpful."

She gave me a knowing look, her green eyes dark as she held our gaze. "Flowers always work, Y/N. Who can say no to flowers?"

"True," I agreed with a nod, whilst also thinking about how it helped that the girl holding them was pretty awesome too.

"Anyway, forget that," she said quickly enough, before leaning in the palm of her hand and staring at me. "What d'you say then?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

She looked to me like I knew what she was talking about. "You know... to going to the campfire with me this evening."

I tried not to laugh. "I mean, I guess so, but–"

"As my date," she clarified, surprising me yet again.

I felt my mouth go dry as I raised my eyebrows. "Oh."

She waited patiently, eyes flickering between mine with confident green ones, though there was a hint of nervousness shining in them. I realised she was asking me out for real now and had to take a moment to acknowledge it before finally responding.

"Yeah," I said, finding my words. "I'd love to... yeah."

She smiled with relief. "Great. I can't wait."

I felt my cheeks grow warm as I returned her smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach at the way she stared at me, before looking down to to my carvings again.

[theweirdwideweb]

we want the work blowout deets

I'll give you the tea but it will be lengthy and I'm going to cry.

Thank you for asking anon. To be honest with you I've been crying in bed about it for the past couple hours. I stood up just now and went to the bathroom and saw two big wet patches on my smiley face tshirt and it sucks so much. I'm so sad.

I could really use some feedback on this situation to be honest. OK. So the long story short is that I got a new supervisor a year ago and my work life has been hell ever since. First off, she doesn't understand what I do. She's never done my job. And she is THE micromanager from hell. For the first 7 months of the year she had me turning in a time card every week showing everything I did down to 5 minute increments. I turn the spreadsheet in on Friday, then every Monday we'd have a meeting where she'd tell me she just doesn't understand how I use my time. Why did it take so long to do X amount of invoices? She estimates it should take 2 minutes per invoice, but it took me 4 minutes per invoice. Like I said she knows nothing about my job and as many times as I've explained it she still "doesn't get it." It was demoralizing, nerve wracking, and frankly so insulting to my competence that I went to her boss (my old supervisor who I love). When she did nothing I went to HR with serious concerns about discrimination----it's no coincidence that I was granted some medical leave at the beginning of the year to address mental health concerns.

Yada yada yada, we made some changes and I don't have to turn in the spreadsheet anymore, but she is still making me email her every week with a list of tasks I didn't complete from the week before. It's still insulting but at least she agreed I'd only have to do it for another 3 months. Actually she said 1 month, but she's such a bitch that by the next HR meeting she claimed she never said 1 month and switched it to 3 months. She's a fucking moron, reader. She's dead fucking stupid. I really can't stress that enough. Dumb. It took her 15 years to get the position I got within 3 years of starting. The only reason she's where she is is seniority, personal relationships with management, and being a fucking bully. A dumb bully! Telling you how to prioritize your work! She's accused me recently of being unprepared for a meeting---a meeting that I hosted, provided all the material for, wrote all the notes on, fleshing out a new process she told me to start implementing but had zero idea how. She just tosses ideas at me and I'm left to figure out any kind of practical way to do it because---AGAIN---she doesn't know how to do my job. There've been other things too. She's a sneak humiliator. She's a button pusher. She's a moron. A big fat ugly moron who looks like Roz from Monster's Inc.

So on Thursday at 4:30pm, end of the day, suddenly a meeting with HR and this cunt appears on my calendar for 10am Friday (yesterday). I'm like---well here we go. She's either going to fire me or put me on a formal PIP. I'll be honest with you, I'd already decided to quit but I was holding out for my bonus in December. I entered the meeting feeling tranquil. I thought, "Do it. Pull the trigger. I'm ready for the end. Just fire me. Let me go. Release me."

But when the meeting starts it's just a touch base with our HR rep to see how everything is going. Are YOU fucking KIDDING me. Anyone would have thought the same thing I did. Of all the things my supervisor sucks dicks at, communication is the worst of all. She can't even spell. She can't string a sentence together. I mean it's shocking she writes at like a 6th grade level. I've seen emails she sent that are so garbled they are literally incomprehensible.

So I'm PISSED. I express how nerve-wracking the previous evening and all morning had been. We're off to a great start. She lets me know she's going to try to end the email process early. OK good. She tells me she's concerned because I haven't been providing personal feedback to her when prompted. Easy enough to explain: I hate your fucking guts, I'm trying to be a grey rock until I can quit. But I can't say that so I'm just like Alright.

Now here comes the bullshit! 1) She now wants me to ask permission in advance to work on weekends. I'm so overworked and stressed out I work like every weekend and now she wants me to ask her permission for the privilege of working on my day off. Guess who's never working a weekend for this company again. 2) The emails that just contain a list of tasks, right? Was 1 month, now 3 months, etc. She also changed the rules so that I have to provide a count of all the claims I processed across multiple platforms. And well---she just doesn't understand how I processed X number of claims and it took this long. In fact, she said, she counts 8 hours reported on my timecard she can't account for last week.

I lost it. I was openly hostile and belligerent. Fuck this fucking bitch. I cannot work for this vile idiot anymore. I actually used my IRL voice to poke holes in what she was saying and pointing out how fucking stupid it all is. Then she comes at me for not respecting her authority. As a reminder, just minutes before she'd complained about me having no feedback for her.

I left the meeting by refusing offers for additional time with the HR rep. I was in no place. I barely worked the rest of the day I was so upset and I didn't send my email, didn't complete my tasks, and didn't ask her permission to finish it up on the weekend (lol). I don't have another job lined up but this is the last time she's going to question whether I'm just straight up lying on my timecard or some kind of moron. That's it. This is her 100th strike for me.

Now here's why I'm so conflicted. 1) My previous supervisor (now my boss's boss) is going on a leave of absence like THIS WEEK for about a month and a half to treat her cancer. I care about her very much. I don't want to stress her out at the last second like this. 2) My bitch boss is also having a sudden serious health problem requiring her to be at the hospital multiple times a week. 3) On top of that, this stupid fucking cow has to take over my boss's boss's work while she's out for cancer. 4) They are absolutely fucked without me. For me to leave right now is a disaster. Add to that---the one person I manage and have a 100% rock solid relationship straight up told me that she's going to quit at some point and that if I quit she's walking out right behind me. She said this to me unprompted and I discouraged her from quitting. 5) I have a heart. The boss and the boss's boss are both having life problems that are more important than work. I think it's immoral to leave them in the lurch right now. They have serious health problems. As much as I hate my boss, at one point we were friends. My heart is breaking.

So I'm crying in bed. I can't live this way anymore. Toxic work stress has taken over my life. I get so miserable, but then some days it's just a job. It's a job I know how to do. I've been here 6 years. The health insurance is spectacular. I've got nothing lined up. I have adequate savings to get through a couple months of unemployment, but it's no guarantee I'll find a position that suits me in that timeframe. I have all these personal relationships at work (a mistake I will not repeat). I've let this job become part of my identity. I'm getting older. I'm 37 and I'm tired and I'm crazy and I just want peace. This position is fully remote---what if the next guy makes me work in person? My whole life will change. I just want this job to work like it has been for the 5 years before she took over. I'm so sad. I've felt this way so many times.

I want to quit first thing Monday. But I want to offer them the option of staying on until good boss gets back from cancer leave, so long as I don't have to work with illiterate cunt boss any more than is absolutely critical in the meantime. What do you think guys? My heart is breaking.

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.238 Sleuths

Desiree was still playing with the dogs when I finished eating and showed no signs of letting them go. I was eager to speak with Sophia and get some clues about the missing parts of Dub's story, so I encourage Desi to go to bed early and rest up for her big day. Surprisingly, she did not protest and went upstairs. I gave her a moment to change before following her.

"Everything packed for school?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you have your schedule?"

"It's right here. They emailed it."

"Good. Good. Don't forget to see the principal when you get there. Are you sure you don't want us to come?"

"I'll be fine, Daddy."

I sensed I was getting annoying, so I dropped it.

"Alright. Just checking. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Whatever is in the fridge is fine! You don't have to make a big thing out of it."

I put my arm around her.

"But I do."

"I love you, Des. You're gonna be great. Sleep well, okay?"

"Goodnight."

I went back downstairs and found Sophia waiting patiently in the kitchen.

"Is she okay?" she asked.

I snorted.

"You know she is. She said we don't have to make it a big thing. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she wanted to be rid of me."

"Silly. So, what's going on?"

The question un-paused all the previous questions I had before seeing about my daughter, and I was unsure of where to even begin. Hypotheticals always seemed to do the trick, so I tried one

"If I was a bad father, would you leave me?"

"What in the world are you talking about?" she asked.

"That's a real question. If Des grew up to be the brat of all brats, and it was my fault, would you kick me out?"

"Ummm..."

She thought about it for a long time, squinting her eyes and staring off into the corner of the room.

"I," she began. "Ruining my child would be quite hurtful, and I'd definitely be very angry with you for a while. Things may change between us, but..." She let out a long sigh. "I'm not sure I'd consider separation, though. At least not right away, maybe."

"Yeah. That's what I was thinking, too."

"Where is all this coming from?"

"Did Maia say anything to you when they were here? Like...problems they're having?"

"Problems? Not really. She mentioned some personal things, but nothing about their relationship. Honestly, it sounded like she was going through a midlife crisis. She mentioned struggling with her purpose and how to manage all her responsibilities while still being true to self."

"Hmph. That sounds very familiar."

"What's this about, Luca? What happened??"

I inhaled and let out a long, exasperated breath.

"She asked Dub to leave."

Sophia gasped.

"No! That's awful!"

"Yeah. I know he's not telling me everything, and I don't know what to think. It doesn't make sense! I just can't see her throwing him out because Tami is a brat. There has to be more."

"I agree. I remember you two talking about this."

"I knew you were listening!"

"How could I not! You were right there!"

"I'm just messing with you."

Thinking about my friend's disintegrating marriage was killing my vibe, so did a 180. We couldn't solve this in one night with the little information we had, so why continue talking about it?

"I have two very cool ideas," I said.

"Let's hear them!"

"Okay, first, Love Day is coming up, and I've been wanting to do a big family vacation ever since the kids could walk. What if we rent a big house and spend the weekend in Sulani?"

"Okaaay, I like this plan, but what does it have to do with Love Day?"

"I'm thinking, we get Less to watch the kids while we go on a date Friday night. Then Saturday, I take the boys, and you and Less take the girls, and we can do the woohoo talks. After that, we can do whatever. Then, Sunday is Beach Cleanup Day, so you and I can take all the kids to the beach while Less does whatever she wants."

"Woohoo? Already??"

"I know. I'm not looking forward to it, but I just know Less is gonna make me talk to them, anyway. Plus, kids today are a lot more grown than we were. It's probably not too early."

"Yeah, you're right. What was the other idea?"

"Alright, I know we said we would save the lottery money for the kids, but I've been thinking about that a lot lately. A million simoleons is a TON of cash! Do we really want to give kids fresh from high school hundreds of thousands of dollars?"

"Well...when you put it that way, maybe we do need to rethink it."

"Exactly. We have a little bit of time to consider how to do it, but in the meantime, I think we deserve to enjoy our money, especially since we have more time. We can start with our house dilemma."

"I've been thinking about it, too. I'm guessing you have an idea?"

"We love both our houses, yet would prefer not to live here anymore. What if we renovated our other house and add some elements we like about this house? We could have the contractors work on it while we're away and move in when we're back."

"I think I like this plan. Tell me what you're thinking of doing."

"Well, for starters, we could..."