#and that's so disturbing and vile honestly
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Platonically adore my psych for a number of reasons but a big one is that her whole practice is committed do de-colonising and stripping anglo christian values from therapy. Discussions on violent urges and guilt below the read more
So in my last session when I was like "I know I am a bad person because I solved most of my problems growing up with violence and genuinely enjoyed doing so what if I'm the next jack the ripper no one should enjoy violence" and my psych just uno reverse cards me and goes "Nah fuck that, all the examples of you hurting people are in situations where you were actively defending another person, often a minority, and gave warnings before attacking. Its bullshit that people are 'allowed' to hurt you but if you hurt them back you're suddenly the monster. Fuck that. You had your power stripped away and found a way to get it back, of course that felt good" and then we spent the last like ten minutes flipping between being nostalgic about past fights and talking about subjects like the military, police brutality and the way the western world moralists and demonised violence from any individual or group other than the ones that support the oppressive status quo
#have always been so scared to talk to any psych on the subject bc i can always imagine them slamming the giant cartoon alarm button#that says Patient Is A Danger To Themselves And Others and i told her as such and she basically just laughed n was like nah youre chill#i expressed how fucked it is to me that an officer can train for a blink of time and be given a gun and the ability to abuse and murder#people for the most selfish and vile reasons and they just get a slap on the wrist#but i cant go curb stomp my local rapist or dropkick a groomer or elbow a transphobes teeth in snd she was like yeah youre right#its fucked up and its not right#dw not about to become a vigilante assassin or punch out rhe next dickhead i see it was just very comforting#to have a subject ive struggled with for many years be met with so much understanding and honestly appreciation#i do feel the need to clarify that even tho i have ocd its not like one of those symptoms where violence distresses me so much im terrified#that i will do it. its more that violence really doesnt disturb me as much as it seems to bother others around me and#i simply dont believe its inherently unethical in many situations idk man. and thats the part that disturbs me#knowing that i should feel more uncomfortable around violence and gore and aggression as a solution but i just.... dont#personal
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Yandere!König Alphabet.
WARNINGS: NON-CON/DUB-CON, YANDERE, KIDNAPPING, FORCED IMPREGNATION (AFAB!READER), FORCED AFFECTION, NONCONSENSUAL TOUCHING, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. STRICTLY 18+ ONLY
AFFECTION: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?
König will force his affection and adoration onto you, whether you like it or not. He doesn't care for the way you sob out and wail, or how you wriggle and attempt to free yourself from his painfully tight grasp. To König, you're everything, the love of his life. He won't hesitate to beat some sense into you if you continue to misbehave.
BLOOD: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?
As a soldier, König is willing to get pretty messy with his darling. He fantasises about carving his name into your skin, to mark and scar you. So that no matter what happens, you'll always have a memory of him.
He wants people to know that you belong to him, are his beloved, his captive, and his one true love.
CRUELTY: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?
König tries to be gentle when it comes to you. He understands that you're probably in hysterics, distraught that you've been abducted. He tries to put himself in your position, imagine what it would be like to be kidnapped and forced away from society, isolated inside of a stranger's dirty basement.
König's ‘love’ is nothing but sick and perverse. It's illegal and immoral, a violent and cruel act to keep you to himself. He's trying to protect you, and that's all that matters. Not how uncomfortable and terrified you are, but how safe you'll be with König by your side.
DARLING: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?
A lot. From allowing you to leave the house, to rape and forced impregnation. König knows exactly what he wants from you, and that's what's between your legs. He denies you access to society and keeps you locked away downstairs in the chamber.
Against a 6’10”, 250LB+ male, you're weak. It's pathetic to see you fight back. König pities you for how desperate you are to escape. It tugs at his heartstrings, but he's trying to show you how far he'll go for your babies, to start a family with you. Can't you see how badly he wants you? How he needs you?
EXPOSED: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?
König can become pretty vulnerable with you. He's not afraid to use his emotions to get whatever he wants. He's scarily skilled at manipulation and guilt tripping. When you squirm away from him in an attempt to hide yourself, he'll begin to scream at you. When you refuse his love, he begins to weep, his fingernails leaving indents along your skin from his grasp as he cries into your chest and wails about how heartless and callous you are.
FIGHT: How would they feel if their darling fought back?
He's surprised, honestly. König didn't think you'd ever attempt to fight back against him, especially when you take into consideration his size and strength, how he isn't afraid to do the most vile, traumatising, and disturbing acts to you.
At first, he's furious. Not because he's physically hurt, but because of how you've betrayed him. How many times does he have to go over the rules before you listen? How many times do you need to be beaten and raped before you obey? Give in, Maus. He knows you're exhausted.
GAME: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?
To König, this isn't a game. He's pretty serious and expects nothing but obedience from his beloved. Although, he can make it a game if that's what you need. But, it won't be enjoyable – not for you, at least.
He'll drug you up, to then interrogate you and spank you for every incorrect response. You don't know any better, but that's what makes it amusing.
HELL: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?
Being impregnated by that bastard would have to be the most traumatising and memorable experience you've had with König. You didn't expect it. Usually, he'd wear a condom, or pull out at the very last minute. But, not this time.
König made sure you knew exactly what he was going to do. He drugged you up and left you feeling almost lifeless, practically unconscious on the cold, filthy concrete ground. You could feel the familiar splitting sensation between your numb legs that would always bring tears to your glistening eyes. You could shake and tremble, gargle and mumble a string of incoherent pleas to König, but it was fruitless.
He wouldn't stop, not until he was positive that you'd be pregnant with his offspring. God, your reaction was painful yet entertaining to watch, how you plead with him for mercy, falling to your knees at the shock.
IDEALS: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?
A future where you're his pretty little housewife, pregnant with a pair of twins after already having three kids together. Truthfully, that's all he desires in life. Kids with his captive, who's been conditioned to believe that this is a life you want.
JEALOUSY: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?
Absolutely. Jealousy is König's #1 issue. Before he abducted you, he'd stalked you. Seeing you hang out with your friends enraged him. He couldn't stand how you were so independent, how you had free will. König couldn't bear the way men would admire you from afar, how they'd grope you.
König doesn't find a healthy coping mechanism. The way he copes is by making ‘love’ to you and forcing you to say you love him, even if it isn't true.
KISSES: How do they act around or with their darling?
Possessive. Creepy. Touchy. He can't keep his hands off of you, or his mouth, or his cock outside of your holes. He's desperate to be inside of you, soothed by the familiar and comforting warmth of your slick cunt around his shaft. He has wet dreams about you choosing to make love with him. The thought of you initiating something with him drives him utterly crazy. He just prays that one day, you'll fall head over heels with him and offer your body to him as a gift.
LOVE LETTERS: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?
König stalked you before he selfishly took you for himself. He watched your every move, with cameras and following you everywhere. He'd occasionally leave hints, like love letters, which you brushed off as a prank. Looking back on it, you wished you'd taken them to the police.
MASK: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?
König doesn't show his vulnerable side to anyone but you. Not his mother, or his oma. They've never seen a violent, merciless, and ruthless side of him that you have. His soldiers have seen him end other's lives, but they've never witnessed the inhumane acts of torture like you have.
His true colours are that he's a crazy, ill bastard. He can act kind-hearted and forgiving, or murderous and vindictive.
NAUGHTY: How would they punish their darling?
Rape, beating, sensory overstimulation, deprivation, etc. He isn't afraid to see blood drip from you, or cover you in welts and aches. Only after his rage and frustration does he feel guilty and shameful for what he'd done.
You grow numb to it eventually. You grow used to the feeling of his broad, muscular hips smacking and battering into your rear for hours on end. Or the splitting and agonising sensation of his belt across your lower back and behind.
OPPRESSION: How many rights would they take away from their darling?
Everything. From your right to freedom, to your right to speak. You don't get a choice, really. Since you're living under König's roof, you'll live by his rules. Whatever he says goes. Oh, you want to go outside? Who gave you the right to speak? If König isn't feeling kind, he'll restrict you from talking, unless you're spoken to first.
PATIENCE: How patient are they with their darling?
Although he loses his cool way more than he'd like to admit, he's extremely patient with you. König knows you're heartbroken and traumatised. He knows you refuse to accept your fate. So, he waits. He waits for you to develop stockholm syndrome and give in to his kisses and love. He'll dote on you, obsess and gush over how adorable you'd look stuffed full with his meaty, sweaty cock and pregnant with his children, until you finally agree and spread those pretty, bruised, and scarred thighs for him.
QUIT: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?
König managed a large chunk of his life without you, but now that he has you, he can't imagine a life without you.
If you were to escape, he'd never stop looking. It's inevitable for poor ol’ you... You only exist to serve him. This is your purpose, to breed with König.
If you were to pass away, König wouldn't be able to go on anymore. The heartbreak would either take him, or he'd do it himself. You'll never escape him, Maus.
REGRET: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?
Of course, guilt is what comes with abducting someone. He feels disgusted with himself for depriving you of the sunlight, of hearing your loved one's voices. But, at the end of the day, he wouldn't change it for anything. Your misery is temporary, while a life with König is permanent.
STIGMA: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?
König grew up feeling isolated. He grew up as a loner, a social reject, an outcast. To most, he was nothing but a freakish loser, too large and intimidating to be loved. Only a poor, cursed mother could love König unconditionally. König couldn't imagine a life full of loneliness. He needed someone.
König was never properly romantically loved, so he doesn't know what love is supposed to be. He's delusional – he knows it's illegal, but he doesn't understand why he can't have you like this.
Being in the Military only worsened his anxieties. He knew how dangerous and violent this world could become, and after laying his eyes on you, he knew what he had to do.
TEARS: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?
A part of König absolutely hates it. He can't stand seeing you in such agony and pain. He hates the sound of your pained screams, how you wail out and sob, pushing König away and neglecting yourself.
On the other hand, König is aroused by the sight of your tears. It makes him feel like a bully. He sees himself in you, looking down on you, a sick grin on his face. König found himself in your position often, and now, he felt as if he had control and authority.
He hates the thought of you crying, but it gives him power and control over you.
UNIQUE: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?
Not really. König is just as obsessive, protective, and perverted as most yanderes.
VICE: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?
König's emotions. He's easy to convince, honestly. Oh, you want to sit upstairs and listen to music? Alright, I guess, under his supervision. You want to look outside? ... Well, if you really want to.
Sometimes, he struggles saying no to you. It may give you a chance at freedom when König allows you outside for a minute.
WIT’S END: Would they ever hurt their darling?
To the point where the damage is permanent? No. Or at least not physically. The trauma is 100% permanent, that's for a fact.
König won't hesitate to put you in your place with a classic spanking, or emotionally hurt you. It drains him to do so, but it has to be done. He'll slap your face when you attempt to speak back, or pull your arm behind your back so that you're defenceless against him. He doesn't appreciate being slapped, Liebling. You know better...
XOANON: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?
Anything for his beloved. He will worship the ground you walk on, shower you in kisses, compliments, and gifts just to earn himself a small smile.
YEARN: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?
For years before he finally abducts you. He can't resist you any longer, or control his sick urges for control and ownership. From the moment he laid eyes on you, he knew you belonged to him.
ZENITH: Would they ever break their darling?
Mentally? Absolutely. You'll develop stockholm syndrome and will grow comforted by this cruel treatment. You won't be able to remember a life without König. You'll cling to him for love until you're sobbing and begging to be held for hours until you're falling asleep in his arms, accepting your fate.
#orla speaks#könig x you#könig x reader#könig x y/n#konig x reader#konig x female reader#konig x you#konig x reader smut#konig x y/n#konig mw2#konig modern warfare#konig mwii#könig cod#könig call of duty#könig fanfiction#könig mw2#könig#yandere konig#yandere könig#yandere writing#yandere stories#yandere#cod x reader#konig cod#konig call of duty#tw: non con#tw: kidnapping#tw: dub con
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Over-Time Ch17
(CEO!Miguel x Shy/Clumsy!Reader)
Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4,Ch5, Ch6, Ch7, Ch8, Ch9, Ch10, Ch11, Ch12, Ch13, Ch14, Ch15, Ch16
Warning: MINORS DNI, no smut here but next chapter for sure, sexual thoughts, slow-burn, mentions of sex, bullying, cussing, fluff, touch starved
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Leaning back into your seat, you couldn't help but stare at a small leak on your ceiling. Comparing your place to Miguel's was like night and day. Honestly, it still felt unreal whenever you recalled Miguel's penthouse.
A soft sigh escaped your lips as you returned to your work laptop. You were helping Miguel with his upcoming schedule, but it was proving difficult for you.
Your mind was still focused on Dana. She said that she would be back within the week to hear your answer. Miguel was kind enough to explain everything to you, so you knew what to say, but Dana still scared you.
"And it doesn't help that Miguel wants me to work from home." You said with a small pout.
After Miguel's confession, the man couldn't keep his hands off of you. He was fucking you every chance he got. Hell, the two of you were in the elevator when Miguel decided to pull your pants down and pump you full of his cum.
Rubbing your legs together as you recalled the heated passion, you couldn't help but want Miguel now. It sucked, but this was for the best. Miguel couldn't fuck you senseless if you were home working. He had a business to run.
"Let's see," You muttered as you looked at Miguel's schedule.
Ding
Confused, you raised a brow towards your door bell. You weren't expecting any packages and Miguel was still in a meeting. Making your way to the door, you peeped through the door piece and quietly gasped.
It was Dana.
How did she know where you lived? Quietly stepping away from the door, you turned off the light and took your laptop to your room. You closed your door and went to text Miguel.
'Miguel, I'm so sorry to bother you when you are in a meeting, but somehow Dana is knocking at my door.'
Biting your lower lip, you nervously waited for Miguel's answer.
Almost immediately, Miguel replied back to you.
'I'll be right there.'
You wanted your worry to wash away with his text, but how could it? You were still disturbing Miguel's work and even interrupted his meeting. This was the last thing you wanted. To be a burden to Miguel.
But at the same time, as guilty as you were, you were still extremely happy. Miguel was coming to help you. He was going out of his way to get you out of this predicament.
Hearing another loud knock against your door, you flinched and quietly went to hide in your bathroom. How the hell did Dana even know where you lived? She had no access to any information from Alchemax, and you had only met her a couple of times.
Did she follow you? No, Miguel usually drove you home and made sure to take extra precaution as to where to drop you off. Unless she was intent on her quest to make sure Miguel marries her.
"My goodness. The work you have me doing. Don't you know there is a difference between a fine woman like me-" Your breathing halted. Dana just broke into your apartment?! "And a poor little mouse like yourself."
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Miguel was shaking his leg in anger as he waited for the car to arrive at your place. How the hell did Dana know where you lived? The whole reason for you staying home was for you to stay away from that vile snake....and for him to stop fucking you every time he saw you.
Finally arriving, Miguel hurried out of his vehicle before the driver could get out, himself. Luckily, Miguel didn't really care about the meeting he was in and his partner didn't mind. Well, even if he did, Miguel was going to get you either way.
Hurrying up your stairs, Miguel couldn't control his anger. Dana just couldn't let go. She was dead set on getting everything that he worked so hard for. Everything that Miguel earned and wanted.
Reaching your floor, Miguel had the urge to yell for you. He needed to make sure you were okay. Dana was a snake and had her ways of getting what she wanted. If only she could have just left you alone.
"Shit," Miguel hissed as he easily opened your door, "(Y/N)!"
"Shh, don't scare the poor thing." Dana hummed as she sat on your couch.
Miguel snarled lowly towards Dana, eyeing around the room for you. It was almost a scare, since you were cowering beside the couch, almost as if you were hiding.
"Why the hell are you here?" Miguel asked, closing the door behind him.
"Why? I was invi-"
"No, you weren't." Miguel motioned you towards him, to which you did. "Are you alright, mi vida? (my world)."
"Mhpm," You were still shaking.
"I must say, Miguel. You must have fucked her good. She refuses to see the man you really are." Dana chuckled.
Miguel ignored Dana as he continued to check you. His hands stroking each part of your body for any wounds. You had a fearful look in your eyes, pleading for help. Miguel could barely swallow his rage as you hid behind him.
"This is breaking and entering. Why have you decided to cause so much trouble to (Y/N)?"
"I just wanted to chat. I did give her a heads up, yet, for some odd reason she avoided me." Dana said with a small huff as she stood, "By the way she acted, I just know you didn't tell her a thing. A cruel man you are."
"I did tell her. Everything." Miguel spat.
"She tried...to offer me money to break up with you Miguel. I told her no." You stuttered, gripping on his sleeve.
"I'm trying to make this easy for us, Miguel. How do you think the public will react when we get married and your off having an affair with a peasant girl?" Dana said with a heavy sigh, "Stocks would tank and your reputation will be ruined."
"Oh, how very kind of you to care. Last I recalled you said I could do whatever I wanted as long as you get a nice allowance every month. You don't care about me, you care about my money. That's why you played me a fool for so many months, just to get my drunken signature on that contract!" Miguel snapped.
"Oh not this again. Drunk or not, that signature came from your hand. You can't do anything about it now."
"B-But you admit that you purposely got him drunk just to steal his assists that way!" You panicked yelled, tears threatening to spill.
"So? Listen Miguel, I'll allow you to enjoy this little's mouse's company just a bit longer, okay? But, if she gets pregnant, that's breaking the contract you signed."
"That you tricked me into signing." Miguel spat. Dana just rolled her eyes,
"You'll be getting some information about our wedding venue soon, Miguel. And you-" Miguel held you protectively as Dana shot you a glare, "The offer still stands."
Miguel waited for Dana to leave before checking on you again. His hands cupped your cheeks as he kissed your head tenderly.
"Are you alright? Did she do anything to do?" He asked. You finally sobbed, wrapping your arms around his torso,
"I-I was so scared, Miguel. She just stormed in...and...and threaten me and lecture me..."
"I'm so sorry," Miguel whispered, kissing your head repeatedly, "I promise...I will find a way to free myself from that snake."
"I-I know...."
"Come, you're tense and nervous. Let's pack some bags and bring you over to my place, okay?" Miguel offered, picking you up. You just nodded, holding onto him.
"She broke my door...What if my stuff gets stolen?"
"Hm, then I suppose that means we have to take everything, right?"
Miguel gave you a heartwarming smile, wanting to ease your worries. He placed you down on the bed before making a few phone calls. Dana had crossed a line.
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You sat on your bed, trying to calm down. Dana had left and Miguel was here helping you, but...That whole ordeal was still frightening. Glancing at your hands, you saw them still shaking. Waning to distract yourself before you packed, you reached for your phone.
"Oh?"
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Hmmm I think two chapters left?
Next Chapter
@timidquindim @decentsoupperson @ivkygirly @reader-1290 @daddyfroglegs @eepybunny0805 @ddreabea @iamperson12280 @migueloharasoulmate @tojishugetiddies @koko-1025 @hyeinwluv85s @daisy-artfield @migueloharastruelove @a-lil-whore @hcqwxrtss123 @the-pan-liquid @tojisfav @pochapo @bubblegumfanfictions @brighterthanlonelythoughts @ghstypaint @mangoslushcrush @synamonthy @scaleniusrm @moonspectorx @dorck26 @a060403 @lunablackcosplay @soraya-daydreams @lovefanfic1 @mymrsweirdnessshipperstuff-blog @pretty-pink-princesss @corpsebridenightamare @razertail18 @gachagator @droolingmuttt @miguelsfavwife @ryzguy06 @raideaters-blog @manishkaworld @keidilla @byjessicalotufo @pigeonmama @k3ythesapphic @acesangels @stealingyourturts @angel-xx-1 @amberbalcom14 @ofmenanduhhhwellmen @oscarissac2099 @keepghostly @zeyzeys-stuff @k3ythesapphic @nightingale1011 @uncle-eggy @safixiovi @flaps200 @dahehow @weirdothatwritess @gerblinradio @electronicchaoschaos @mafiaanomaly @keyisloved @unwrittenletter @reader4life @leenasgirl200 @oscarissac2099 @mari0-o @cinnamoro1l @leryg0 @hizzielover @resident-clown @girl-of-multi-fandoms @sana-408-blog
#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel spiderverse#miguel o'hara x reader#atsv miguel#miguel o'hara smut#spiderman 2099#miguel o'hara#miguel spiderman#across the spiderverse#miguel x you#miguel x fem!reader
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Crushed | 03
Summary: He's tried to convince Leo that you're a cool person, to which the former just scoffs and accuses Sho of having a crush. Honestly, the reaction is obnoxious – people of the opposite sex are perfectly able to have platonic friendships. Just because Sho's taken to bringing an extra lunch for you on training days so you can eat together after, and he enjoys spending time with you, and you're pretty and smell good even after an hour of sparring, doesn't mean he has a crush.
Pairing: Haizono Sho x Reader x Kurosagi Leo
Genre: Humor, romantic comedy, slowish burn, no real plot, Leo bullying
18+, minors DNI
~~~~~
"Besides, what are a few nobodies compared to the shit you've been dealing with anyway? You can handle it."
You finally realize what's been bothering you since you confronted Leo at the Vagastrom dorms (outside of the usual annoyance of Leo's general existence).
His response, despite his condescending tone… had been worded suspiciously like a compliment. Which, since it's Leo, means it probably wasn't.
"YoU cAn hAndLe iT," you mutter quietly to yourself, imitating the TikTok asshole's haughty tone. "Fuck off."
It makes you even more annoyed about the stupid sympathy that flared up when Leo mentioned death threats. He doesn't deserve your consideration, but your empathetic ass doesn't care about logical little details like that.
Sure, you've seen horrible comments and exchanges online in fan wars, but it's always been as a spectator. Receiving such disturbing messages personally, ranging from unhinged fans who call you ugly (whatever) to those that wish vile things upon you (less whatever) to others that send inappropriate pictures you wish you could unsee (your eyes, your poor non-quite-virgin eyes)… it's affected you much more than you would have expected.
For you it's mostly a weird blip in your life, and you can just deactivate an account you rarely used in the first place. Since you're stuck at Darkwick, it's not like your social life in the "real" world is exactly popping off, anyway. Despite logically knowing that nothing will happen to you, that the vitriol is being spewed by complete strangers who don't know you at all, you still feel shaken at the reminder that regular humans can be even worse than many of the anomalies you've experienced.
Even the sparse comments about you being cute together (which are repulsive in their own way, for obvious reasons) feel weird and invasive, as if you're their friend. It's like they think they know you, and that their opinion matters enough for you to hear it.
Leo deals with all of that constantly? Sure, he basically signed up for it and is apparently completely fine, but it still just… doesn't feel right.
Yeah, you dislike him, but he's not exactly evil. He's a douche who cares more about himself than anyone else, which is not a rare trait in the world. He just also happens to have brains and guts, without the morals that would keep him from using those around him.
So, a shitty guy, but not the absolute worst. At least, not evil enough for the insane hostility you received firsthand.
Then again, he's gotten those types of messages and was more than willing to put you in the line of fire. So maybe he is a little evil.
Why did he even post you to his TikTok as his girlfriend, anyway? For all his apparent dismissiveness of your capabilities, the guy is definitely way too vain to choose any random passerby, even if he later reveals it to be a joke. In its own fucked up little way, it's almost a compliment that he seems to think you're objectively attractive enough to be a believable partner to his audience.
Not that you're flattered.
Well… a small, petty part of you kind of is, because while Leo acts like a steaming pile of garbage, he's a steaming pile of garbage with taste.
Huh, then maybe he did actually mean what he said about you being able to handle it?
Nah, that can't be right.
Whatever. You have more important things to worry about than a toxic, twink-shaped gremlin. Like your new assignment with the Jabberwock ghouls. That should be your current number-one priority. You should probably go over the investigation notes right now, actually.
SHOulders: Hey Y/N, u free?
You're a strong independent woman who can prioritize important, life-altering tasks over silly crushes. You are, you can resist–
You: Yeah! What's up?
~~~~~
"So? What do you think of the sign?"
"It's amazing! It's even more impressive than it was in the photo."
Sho grins at your compliments, though he tries not to show just how pleased he is about your heartfelt praise.
"Didn't I say flattery'll get you nowhere?"
He's lying, of course. Flattery from you is always welcome, because he can tell you mean it. It's also why he's asked you to look at his menu and signboard before officializing the food truck – you'll give him your honest thoughts. Leo would have opinions on things that are trending, but Sho doesn't really want to rely on gimmicks. For all his irritation with the restrictions at Darkwick (and having to deal with his annoying ass brother), this food truck is something he's actually excited about.
Sho doesn't tend to take most things seriously… he's naturally intelligent and athletic, so he's never really had to try hard to get by. Not wanting anything badly means he'll never be disappointed if something doesn't pan out. Besides, Leo's the type of best friend to make fun of any endeavor or interest he doesn't deem worthy.
But you're different.
You work so hard every day to make up for the qualities you believe you lack, from struggling through workouts to staying up late to catch up on the classwork you miss due to being sent on missions. Maybe once he would have scoffed at your efforts, but instead, it gives him the courage to try something new.
It's safe to show you how much the food truck actually means to him. You're the one who constantly raves about his food, whose encouragement and support has helped his tiny idea grow into an actual dream. He trusts you.
"Do you have a date?"
Huh? A date for what? Why do you want to know about his love life? Or is this your way of asking him to –
You hand back the menu you were looking at, and Sho realizes you mean for his food truck opening.
Right. Thank goodness, because you guys have a good friendship that does not need to be complicated by anything like that.
"By next week, I guess? So long as no one gets in my way."
"I'm really looking forward to it!"
Yeah, the sensation in his chest is most definitely relief, not disappointment.
~~~~~
"What are you doing here?"
"Hello to you too, Kurokawa," you reply drily as you put down your heavy bag, unsurprised by Leo's unwelcoming greeting. He's lounging on a couch in the common area, and you suppress an internal sigh.
It's not surprising to run into him at the Vagastrom dorm, but you had hoped he was out turning princes into frogs, forcing poor parents to exchange their firstborn for vegetables, or whatever it is he does for fun.
"It's Kurosagi."
You ignore his correction, because you know it pisses him off.
You sometimes wonder why Sho bothers with Leo when you've never seen Leo do anything nice for his so-called best friend, but it's not your place to judge. You're mature enough to understand that there's a history there you're not aware of, and that you've only known them for a very short period of time.
"Maybe I'm here to see my darling influencer boyfriend," you say sarcastically, giving him the fakest smile you can manage as you plop down next to him. You know he doesn't like you, so it's another easy way to annoy him (if at your own expense). "How could I go a day without seeing that pretty face?"
You're mature enough to understand. That doesn't mean you're mature enough to not hate it. If you can't avoid Leo, you're going to do your best to be as annoying as possible when you do have to interact with him.
"Ugh, don't sit so close," Leo grumbles, despite not making a single move to move away like the lazy little princess he is. He does smell nice though, probably some trendy cologne that he uses to cover up the stench of his rotten personality. "Have you even showered today?"
Wow. You know you smell nice because you did, in fact, shower today. Right before coming here, to be exact, because despite Sho's knowledge of your sweaty form after training sessions, you want his memories to be of you fresh and perfumed.
There is really no need for Leo to be so fucking rude all the fucking time. Especially when you've done nothing to deserve it but apparently have the audacity to exist in his presence. If anything, you've been downright charitable in never bringing up "the incident" at the Pit. Though if you're being honest, it's also something you don't want to remember, because the knowledge that you willingly ground up against his dick – even if it was out of spite – is too embarrassing to think about.
Sure, he's pretty, but you have your standards.
Why are you even thinking about this right now? Clearly you have been spending way too much time either studying, doing odd jobs for the ghouls, and daydreaming about Sho if you're even thinking of Leo in any sexual-adjacent light. You don't even really want to think about him at all.
You know that being ignored is one of the things that bothers him most of all (an attention-seeking diva, truly), so you grab a textbook out of your bag and begin to read.
~~~~~
Leo knows he's an asshole.
He's perfectly fine with it. Sometimes, it even sparks joy.
Such as now, when you're scowling at him in a way that makes him want to antagonize you even further. You're always so nice and friendly to everyone that it's satisfying to be the one to elicit a different reaction out of you. It's a matter of pride that he's the only one that can make you lose your temper.
Besides, it's not his fault you look so cute when you're pissed off.
Leo freezes when he realizes what just crossed his mind, but before he can figure out exactly where that ridiculous thought came from, you're pulling a textbook out of your bag.
… Are you seriously about to study while sitting so close to Leo he can smell your flowery shampoo?
"Can I help you, Kurohagi?"
His eyebrow twitches, and he realizes he's been staring at you. And that you fucked up his last name, again.
"You're getting very comfortable, aren't you?" he replies in a scornfully, wondering why exactly you're even visiting when Leo's the only one here.
Unless… you came to see him. Maybe you're just playing it off as if you weren't, to save face. Why else would you even sit so close to him, anyway?
"I'm just waiting for Sho to get back, he said he'd be here soon," you reply with a shrug that annoys Leo for reasons he can't explain. Your answer makes far more sense, and yet that just pisses him off even more. So he does what he does best.
"It's cute how you're being such a good little gofer for Sho," he says mildly, pretending not to care one way or the other. "He's always been good at getting people to do things for him."
You stiffen, and uncertainty flits across your face before you straighten your expression. Though you're obviously trying to hide it, the way you shift away from him reveals that he hit a nerve.
It was exactly what he was going for, but the usual satisfaction feels hollow, as if the words have left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. You don't snap back with your usual fire the way he expected. Instead you just look back at your book, and the sour feeling magnifies.
An oppressive silence blankets the two of you while unfamiliar pressure weighs down his chest, and Leo is almost relieved when the tell-tale sound of a rumbling engine signals Sho's arrival.
His friend's face brightens instantly when his eyes land on you, which irritates Leo in a way he can't explain. You smile back, though it's more subdued than usual.
"I brought the rest of the stuff from the diner," you call out, and the way Sho jogs to greet you seems to restore some of the sparkle in your eyes. It does not alleviate some of the heaviness Leo is feeling.
"Awesome, thanks," Sho replies with a grin. "You know you didn't have to, right?"
"Yeah, but I wanted to."
Barf. Are you guys fucking serious? It's nauseating, the way Sho is smiling at you like a lovesick puppy. Does he have no pride at all?
"Oh, Leo," Sho calls. Great, he's finally been noticed.
"What?" Leo replies a little petulantly, crossing his arms. Everything about this situation is pissing him off, and he doesn't even understand why.
"Stop pouting and help me out, I was able to pick up some liquor when I went on my grocery run."
"Ugh, fine," he grumbles, mollified by the promise of a night of drinking. It's sadly the closest they can get to clubbing when Darkwick watches their every move.
Leo stands to help grab some of Sho's bags and notices that you're hanging back with an uncertain look on your face. Are you stupid enough to actually take Leo's words to heart when it's obvious you have his best friend wrapped around your pretty little finger?
"Are you coming or not?" he asks testily, shoving a few bags in your direction. "We're not sharing if you don't help."
Your eyes widen at the implied invitation, and even Sho makes a sound of surprise.
"I… uh… yeah," you stammer, hurrying up from the couch to take the bag Leo is holding out. "Thanks?"
You still look and sound confused, but the smile you give him is genuine. It's the first time he's been on the receiving end of that particular expression of yours, and sunlight eases the uncomfortable feeling in his chest. It's similarly disconcerting, and Leo has no idea what to make of it.
"Whatever, just hurry up."
~~~~~
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#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker fanfic#tdbk#haizono sho#tokyo debunker fanfiction#leo kurosagi#kurosagi leo#sho haizono#sho x reader#leo x reader
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https://www.tumblr.com/woman-respecter/769231651188408320/sorry-not-sorry-but-everyone-simping-for-that-guy
Honestly, I can understand the people who were specifically royally fucked over by this guy feeling some sense of catharsis over this bastard dying. I'm not exactly gonna lose sleep over it.
What makes me roll my eyes however is the sheer number of self-righteous chucklefucks who use this as either the foundation/expectation of some kind of "righteous revolution" against evil CEOs, while frankly I don't expect anything of significance to happen beyond typical copycat killers that may or may not (more than likely) end up only targeting people that they deem "rich and elite" but actually aren't anything more than convenient scapegoats for mob mentality.
Because let's face it, people are absolute shit at determining who "the enemy" actually is, and more often than not just butcher innocent people or easy targets because they're too cowardly to go after actually difficult but meaningful targets. It'd be another thing entirely if they'd gotten rid of the one certain major rich asshole whose currently behind so much of the propaganda of a certain site, because at least THAT have a chance of making a major difference in crippling a certain administration, but that'd require a level of guts and courage that I don't expect to happen anytime soon.
Also to be honest, the above is also just really endemic of the highly fucked up priorities of a lot of people, especially online: how much they romanticize acts of vigilante violence that, while outwardly cathartic, aren't exactly that effective in the long term because as much as we don't want to admit it, this CEO is just a cog in a fucked up system. He's replaceable and ultimately the company he led isn't gonna change their policies just because he's kicked the bucket.
In addition, a number of people don't really have any interest in doing anything of the sort because the image of being a "tough revolutionary against the evil establishment" is more important to them than actually doing anything meaningful. And this ESPECIALLY applies to the people who are cheering on this guy, but whom decided to not vote for the one woman who could have given us all a better future in a far more overall beneficial way out of their own twisted vanity and egotism.
Besides, we don't know diddly squat about this guy; I don't think it's particularly good to be projecting your own selfish hero fantasies onto someone who, for all we know, might not exactly be on the up and up. And if he does turn out to be a genuinely vile person, I expect a fair bit of backtracking from people, and for less scrupulous groups to take advantage of it and frame the people who support this as immoral hypocrites for more propaganda.
TL;DR: I'm not losing sleep over the bastard being dead and anyone who suffered because of him has a right to feel relieved that one of their tormentors is gone, but I feel like way too many people are just using this as an excuse to romanticize ineffective vigilante justice to overcompensate for their own impotence as "revolutionaries" while ignoring how the dead guy is just a cog in the big fucked up machine of medical insurance who can be replaced. Or more pessimistically, to try to cover up how much things could have been overall better if they'd prioritized doing the one thing that could have helped all of us a month earlier.
And that it's frustrating and disturbing how much people are valorizing a person that they know nothing about, despite the very real possibility that if he's revealed as a total scumbag, that their loud support right now could be used against them by our enemies. Which I need to note is pretty much part of the reason we're in this mess in the first place.
yep, the tl;dr sums up my feelings on the topic p well. idc that the greedy bastard died, i just hate the glorification of “revolutionary” violence.
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I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like there's a disturbing trend of people blatantly misinterpreting the LOV.
Someone on one of my posts (no hate to this person they weren't rude or anything) labeled Toga as a psychopath because of her hurting the bird when she was younger.
But this just isn't true.
(She could have ASPD. But even then, that's a stretch because the only symptom of hers that aligns with that is impulsivity)
"Psychopaths" (using this term because that's what they used) fake emotions, have difficulties forming emotional attachments, and lack empathy. That couldn't be further from Toga. Her emotions are almost always genuine, she VERY easily forms emotional attachments, and she's good at reading people.
(This would probably be closer to Dabi in all actuality. But even if it could be applied that still doesn't justify Endeavor's treatment of him)
But I feel like I see this with LOV critics a lot. People misuse labels and diagnoses in order to dehumanize them and justify how they were by society. It's irritating
Hi @sapphic-agent 👋
I think the misinterpretation of the league is something I have seen go both ways. I have seen people criminalise and dehumanise the league and I have also seen people babyify the league and their actions.
I think toga's behaviour and blatant hypocrisy is what makes her so interesting to me tbh. I just wish that the narrative would address it a lot more and maybe make her behaviour a bit consistent. For example we see that toga has a thing for wanting the blood of people that she cares for and loves (when she isn't fighting of course) so why don't we see her doing it with the league? I also wish that we got more of toga vs hawks since that was underwhelming and disappointing the only thing she done was scratch him with her knife.
I also love the type of imagery that is associated with toga. All of the death,blood and even cannibalism imagery that she has is well implemented into the story and I do think that the way her arc came to a conclusion was done well but like I said there are some more things I would of liked to see from her.
Heck even if toga is a psychopath then why should people have less sympathy for her? Her backstory clearly shows that it was society who influenced her to be the way she is and while yes she made mistakes and had done vile things she is also a victim the two aren't mutually exclusive and can coexist together.
I have seen other demonisation of the league and its probably Dabi and toga's demonisation that annoys me the most because most of them stem from discussions where their abusers are dismissed and all the blame is pitted on them when that's not the truth. I have seen horrible takes saying that dabi was just born evil etc etc while somehow giving enji grace in the same breath and they irritate me so much.
I must say that I do think there are some league members like shigaraki who are underdeveloped and who I was a bit confused on how they would get a redemption because instead of humanising shigaraki and having him gain a path into redemption so I wasn't surprised by the way his character arc ended but I was upset by it for sure.
#mha#mha critical#bnha critical#bnha#thanks for the ask#bhna critical#thanks for the ask!#toga himiko#toga critical
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any sinclair EGO x reader? whichever your favorite(s) is/are, but i can see at least half of them being pretty freaky when loving someone…
Haiii ∪・ω・∪ I picked Cavernous Wailing for this one. Definitely freakier ones exist, but this one has potential. Well, he’s less so freaky and more so just,,, messed up. I’m assuming it’s based on the story where a disobedient frog-son (or was it a toad?) finally tries to follow his mothers word after she dies, but fails still? I mean, yk, she tells him to burry her by the river bc she assumes he won’t do that, since he’s a bad son, but he does. I vaguely remember a version where the water would either dig her up or like it washed the grave away, but I think the most popular (and original) one was that the reason for his crying was that he was worried that her resting place would get disturbed. Anyhow, I will go with this as like, the vibe of the character because oh my, that certainly gives me stuff to work with^^
Warnings: s/h tendencies, poorly disguised mommy issues, unhealthy dynamics, mentions of being fed (he’s just not normal about that one hhhh), sex mention kind of, UNEDITED
I think he’s guilt ridden, grief fills him and he can not forgive himself for his past. Just like our limbus Sinclair, this one truly believes himself to be the Cain, a prodigal son. There’s a soft resignation in the way he conducts himself, a pain that lingers throughout his days. When you grow closer to him, he’s scared. He has not forgiven himself. Maybe never will. And you’re so good, so important to him. Though he can’t bring himself to disclose his past, out of utter shame and pain it brings him, it keeps him up at night. You treat him so good. As if he was your equal. You do not know what he really is, you’re not aware of the sins that taint his very being. To stay by his side makes you a saint. A very pitiful one at that, wasting your limited time on someone so lowly. He’s trying to do better. But he’s not well enough for his definition of better to be very healthy. That is to say - whatever is your will, it goes without questions. He’s very obedient, he doesn’t dare to question anything you say. He’s too paranoid. He can’t go though this all over again. The guilt, in case something happens, can’t double. He wouldn’t survive that. Though he doesn’t care much about surviving these days. So even if something you’re asking for or something you are doing puts him though discomfort, you won’t hear a peep from him. Even if it hurts, even if it makes him feel bad. You won’t even know. His expression is too saddened most of the time anyway, so it’s not like you will be able to read from it properly. And he doesn’t believe he deserves to speak up. If it’s painful, good, let it hurt. He should hurt. Though, it doesn’t mean he won’t be a bit overbearing. He says you can leave at any time. Honestly, yeah, he won’t stop you. But even if you choose to stay, you’re the last beacon of light in his gloomy life. So he sticks to you, waits like a dog for you to give him your attention. Like a pet laying by the door, awaiting his owner to come back. He’s all yours. And all he can do is try to compensate for his entire vile being, hoping you stay. It feels selfish, letting you stay. But he can’t stop himself. Not when you’re so sweet to him, so lovely. Life’s been lonely. So he clings onto you, begging in his soul for you to please stay. You make him feel taken care of. Wanted. Needed. And the little gestures you do, your words, actions and little touches. It reminds him of home. He misses his family. Dearly misses his mum. Although he would never admit it to himself, much less to you, there is a maternal role he is subconsciously pushing onto you. Doesn’t matter your gender. Sometimes it’s draining. Taking care of him, providing endless reassurance for someone whose very presence feels heavy with death. He’s not getting better. He believes he is, it has to be the case when an angel like you is stroking his hair. Holding him. Feeding him (that’s a whole different conversation, but sweets and snacks carry a significance to him in the book and the game seems to have carried that over to the limbus version of him). That need for maternal care carries over to his sexual desires. He won’t tell you, but it’s not like he can hide it well. The hunger in his eyes when he surrenders his whole self to you is evident. There’s a certain fire hungrily enveloping his whole self with each favour you perform. He wants you to hurt him and heal him, bring him to the verge of life and nurse him back to health. All the violence inside of him had formed inward. He hates himself so much, he wants to suffer. And what a pleasure it is to suffer at hands of someone so pure. The yearning for punishment battles with the need to be guided and pampered by you, creating a cycle. And no matter when you will do with him, he will surrender wholly, with tears filling his eyes
#There’s more I could write about him#like I think he would totally have the most messed up dreams about you#sort of like he does in the book#but he would be more prone to fantasising about the dreams coming to life#(as opposed to being confused and shameful about his urges like the OG)#like when he dreams about Damien hurting him and protecting him#and the maternal half man half woman embracing him and things escalating#limbus company headcanons#limbus x reader#limbus company x reader#limbus headcanons#limbus sinclair
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Honestly Skulduggery in Hell Breaks Loose hurts my heart. He was simultaneously a hyper-violent asshole who sold out his teammates for a half-assed attempt at killing Serpine, but he was also JUST SO SAD. I spent the first half of this book wanting to punch him and the second half wanting to give him a hug, no matter how bad of an idea that would be. Anyways, spoilers ahead.
His self-esteem, for one, is absolutely awful, and he’s kinda right to think of himself in that way. He understands that his love of violence and hurting people isn’t normal, even if his friends go out of their way to try and not make him too uncomfortable. He questions Ghastly as to why he sticks around despite Skulduggery ditching camp to try and failing to kill a guy, and berates Ghastly for trusting and loving him on account of the fact that Skulduggery will probably just hurt him again.
And that scene where he was talking to Valkyrie and they were just chatting about random stuff? Broke my heart. At first I thought that Skulduggery might not like or trust someone who claimed to be his friend from the future, but him being happy to meet Valkyrie because it means that he’s still capable of loving someone and that he’s not a total lost cause was heart-wrenching. I really loved all of the Dead Men interacting with Valkyrie, but those two definitely hit me the hardest.
And another absolutely heartbreaking thing to watch was him using necromancy magic on Serpine by accident. The aftermath of the whole thing did such a fantastic job illustrating his frustration with his own magic, with how he killed Serpine, and with knowing that he’s now essentially damned his teammates. He also seemed so legitimately frightened by his own magic, making him default to refusing to acknowledge it as part of him and not want to talk about the subject. In fact, watching him panic and the other Dead Men react to his shadow magic was super interesting because they don’t really fear it. And why would they? Lord Vile hasn’t happened yet, Skulduggery is their friend, they all have nothing to fear, even if they are a bit out of their lane. Valkyrie was really the only one who understood the full implications of the situation that they were in, which gave her even more of a reason to panic because it means that the timeline had gone horribly wrong.
Also, some of the stuff that Serpine was saying to Skulduggery while chained up? Absolutely FOUL, I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of self-control it must have taken for Skulduggery to stand there and take all that for as long as he did. Because while he has pretty much no self-restraint for 90% of this book, this was the one place he knew he couldn’t mess up. And he messed up, not that it particularly mattered in the end anyways. But I like to tell myself that I have decent self-control, and I would have snapped that man’s neck so fast if he started talking in disturbing, gloating detail about the death of my loved ones. Really just goes to show that Skulduggery didn’t want to lose the rest of the people he cared about as well. That went great, didn’t it.
Somewhat unrelated to this whole tangent, but knowing that Skulduggery and Rustica (Ghastly’s mom) were buddies and would hang out and joke with each other hurt so much more knowing how Rustica dies.
And completely unrelated to this tangent, Valkyrie having to watch a version of her partner die only to kill an old man and have the timeline revert so that he’s alive but remembers nothing that happened must have been a DISTURBING experience. I’d probably never sleep again, I’d be so worried about the people I care about constantly. And also I’d be stuck trying to unravel the layers of the universe. I’m fully convinced that the reason Valkyrie sometimes blocks out information people are trying to give her (or trying to dumb it down/ trivialize it) is because this woman has handled the horrors of the universe and probably implements this technique to stop herself from going insane thinking about it.
#I think HBL gave me an existential crisis#wow it hit hard#when I finished the book I legit had to stare at a wall for a few minutes to process what I read#there’s probably more I could talk about in here but that’s it for now#skulduggery pleasant#i am once again skulduggeryposting
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One time Ranpo was over at Poe's house, and they decided to watch a movie, to pass the time. Ranpo wanted to do something for Poe for once, so he let him decide what movie they should watch. Poe decided on a horror movie, since horror was one of Poe's favorite genres.
The movie he decided they should watch was the Saló or the 120 Days of Sodom, Poe has already watched this movie when he was 23 and he loves it for the themes and exploration of the dark side of the human psyche. It also kinda inspired him as a horror writer, though he was more a psychological and existential horror writer, so he would probably wouldn't ever end up making something as graphic, and he still wanted most horror loving people to be able to enjoy it his books
(yes i know he is a mystery writer but I headcanon him as a horror and mystery writer, he is honestly better at horror). He is also a morbid basterd (affectionate).
Ranpo was not prepared for this movie at all. He even had to look away for some of the scenes. Ranpo is a detective he has seen some shit, but never something so vile, even some of the worst cases he has been on.
Ranpo was fucking terrified. When the movie was done Ranpo was clinging onto Ed, like if he let go he would be transported into the movie. When Ed said he liked the movie, Ranpo was seriously wondering whether his rival (boyfriend) was a psycho.
Edgar just said he has seen things a lot more graphic, and at least this one touched upon some very serious topics. Ranpo still doesn't know how that is possible. Ranpo ended up sleeping at Ed's house, in his bed, because he simply couldn't sleep alone after that. He ended up still not being able to go to sleep. In the next few nights Ranpo either couldn't sleep, or he would get nightmares.
What Poe means by he has seen more graphic (and worse) movies, is that he has explored the entire disturbing movie iceberg, and Salo only ranks in third row. Poe knows a lot of languages so yes he can watch almost all of them, and he did, oh he did. Poe has seen things, he really wished he didn’t.
#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#poe bsd#bsd edgar allan poe#bsd poe#ranpo edogawa#bsd ranpo#ranpoe#ranpo bsd#edogawa ranpo#bsd edogawa rampo#edgar allen poe bsd#edgar allan poe#bsd ranpoe#ranpoe watching movies#and Ranpo being horrified
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The Dinner Party of Adolescence
An internal monologue from Ives Gannet, the main character of my WIP novel Into The Vortex. Ives, the soon-to-be serial killer nicknamed the Portland Maneater, reminisces on how she chose to let her putrid nature develop back when she was still capable of stopping it.
1323 words // 6.5 minute read
Not a recommended read for those sensitive to mentions of sexual themes, murder and child molestation.
The only times I’ve felt true desire were those moments just before sleep. That’s the time most people tend to drift into yearning, right? They lay in bed and think of sweat-covered, glistening bodies and masturbate their worries away until they fall asleep. I do things a little differently.
My way of experiencing nightly desire seems to be less practical than the normal way, but that’s usually the case. These trains of thought never lead me to happy places – instead, to a tear-stained sleep and a jaw so tense it hurts in the morning. I don’t think of shirtless men with rippled abs or bikini-clad women, yet, I still find something to long for. I long for the desperate yearning of memories. I long to look behind me at everywhere I’ve been, and scramble back towards it, clammy hands reaching for the good that supposedly so heavily riddled my past. I long to be able to trace my winding trail of footsteps through the scenes I’ve seen, the homes I’ve lived in, the people I have loved, all the way back to my first everything – without feeling such an intense sorrow.
Even in the most benign-looking places I could visit in my head – break-times at my first school, the quiet walks in the local park, the kitchen of my childhood home – at any little disturbance, the bugs hiding in the cracks and the crevices will scuttle out of their hidey-holes, and I’ll remember. I’ll remember how disease and dirt has infected every experience I call my own. I’ll remember how other children would giggle amongst themselves and point at me as I paced the playground alone, I’ll remember only feeling safe enough to cry in the solitude of the deep woods, I’ll remember how much blood was on the kitchen floor and how I felt nothing when I saw my own mother’s lifeless body. Her head was pointed towards the door when I walked in, her mouth hanging open inhumanly wide, her trademark rosy cheeks a paper-white, eyes merely scattered with the remnants of fear. The fear I should have felt, too, but I didn’t.
All I felt was fascination. And then, I’ll remember why instead of lusting after memories, I fantasise about taking a gun and blowing them out of my head. They’re too irregular for me to understand. After a certain point, I stopped walking through life, and instead tripped over and was dragged through dirt to where I am now. I’m too tired to get up.
I don’t know why I’m like this. I just want to lose all comprehension of myself and rebuild my consciousness from scratch, because honestly, I think I’ve fucked up from my first thought. And unless I get a chance to start over, I’ll fuck up until my last breath.
If I were to try and rationalise myself – an admittedly bad habit that I sometimes try to get out of - I’d explain my current state as a consequence of my experience with sex and family and life being fucked up so young, so early into my development that I can’t see any point trying to be normal moving forward, because I never will be. Instead of doing what others do and push down any “forbidden” intrigues or desires, why shouldn’t I just embrace them? I never had the normality that they cling onto, so what have I got to lose?
I understand why so many psychologists jump to theories that serial killers and rapists were molested as children too, even when there’s no direct account to suggest it. It’s such a dark and morbid thing that, to the human brain, it’s only logical that things so vile must have sourced from another evil. To some extent, they’re right. Mixing childhood or trauma with sex can really, really fuck you up - if you let it. That’s the key to it that not many of these psychologists can ever get because they’re talking about experiences they will never have; it’s not as simple as “get molested, become a sexual deviant” with entire inevitability, it’s more like having the option of becoming an absolute fucking freak offered to you at the dinner party of adolescence, whilst everyone else was served “a thing for boys with brown hair” or “a thing for girls making fun of them”. Well, “offered”… you’re never able to refuse it completely.
See, the dish I was served, it had teeth, malice, and a thirst to ruin the life of the prepubescent it saw before itself. Before there was any hope in stopping it, it jumped up from the table and sank its teeth into my flesh. If you were to ask for forceps to rip it out, although the fight and the desperation would be gone, you’re still left with the wound, and then still left with the scar. You’re not truly free from it. But, you are free from the danger you could manifest. You know how to easily keep a lid on it.
Others like me immediately asked for the forceps – they were scared by something feeling wrong in their head and they cried to their parents about it, who quickly whisked them off to a child psychologist who knew what they were doing and knew how to ensure this child’s wounds turned into perfect, shiny scars. Something I struggle with when I look into the mirror each morning is that I liked the feeling of the curse gnawing at the muscle in my forearm. I was intrigued by these thoughts and that I was thinking beyond the trivial hand-holding that my classmates were discussing on the playground. But, most of all, I didn’t care that it wasn’t normal – because I never knew if I was normal! Pushed out of my family, pushed out of any conceivable social group in school, I never had a reference. So, I just never asked for the forceps. Because I didn’t know they existed. I looked at the demon making mince of my flesh and I took it as a fascination.
I know that’s not entirely my fault. I was just a kid – a very, very lonely kid – who didn’t know that her brain was driving on the other side of the road until it was too late. Everything just aligned too well – I was born morbid, I lived in morbid, and was in perfect shape to react to something like the murder in the way that I did. On the other hand, I feel like I still would have loved the way things were going even if I knew they shouldn’t be going that way. I didn’t want to stop this when I could, or to seek treatment when it would have made a difference. There’s no way to know, of course, but after all these years I have never been able to shake the feeling that my demented decisions caused all of this, and if I was a kinder person to myself, things wouldn’t be like this. I chose to be this way.
I am an evil reimagining that my holier self sees in the bathroom mirror each morning. I see her, too. I see her disappointment in what she knows is inside herself, and what she is capable of. To her, I embody filth. To me, she embodies everything I could have been. Just to scare her, I stare into her eyes sometimes until she starts crying.
Being so comfortable with what is vile about myself has led me to reject the parts of me that are wholesome and good. I want that cunt through the water-stained glass pane to wake the fuck up and realise she is already what she is so afraid of being; she has just sugar-coated everything to deceive others and hopes that she will eventually deceive herself. But - she won’t. I know she won’t. Because it didn’t work for me, either.
Purity is fucking overrated.
#gently spoonfeeds you traumatic content#i wrote this ages ago and I'm not checking for typos#we die like men etc#ives has a very different internal voice now#into the vortex#into the vortex writing#into the vortex ives gannett#writeblr community#writeblr#writers on tumblr#author#writing#writerscommunity
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Thank you for telling me. Now my request.
Wednesday and her gf get into a fight. She's cold as always but WAY meaner and cold as ice, gf tries talking to her in class or out in the hall? Brushed off, ignored. (But lowkey hoping y/n begs for forgiveness, even if it wasn't her fault) but to her surprise, y/n goes "fine whatever!" And gives her the same rude attitude.
They ignore each other until Wednesday breaks..
Can't think of anything? I'll understand don't worry!
- 🌻
I did not see this my precious sun flower I miss you dearly you have not returned home in a while. It’s been way to long that I haven’t spoken to you . Do feel free to speak to me again my love.
“Wednesday, please I swear I didn’t mean to tell them about us! You know it was an accident!” You cried
“Listen, I did not want those ruin imbeciles knowing about us because then we will end up on a pointless provision post on some social network app with abnormal humans praying on our rise or downfall. And I don’t want that you ruined it now. Stay away from me we could have made this work if your soul sucking soul didn’t have to be so needy to me. Which honestly if the buckled shoe fits y/n your so love all the time it disturbs me and crushes bones in my body I didn’t know existed. Leave.” Wednesday said. No emotion which when she was taking to you she at least had some form of emotion. She was colder than ice saying that statement tears dripped down your frame as you ran out. She didn’t mean it , it didn’t hit her that everything she said was a lie to make you hurt or beg until you walked out. And for a second she felt - sad?
The next day she ignored you even though she wanted to talk to you . She was trained that way and she was never gonna be . That was just that.
You, sweet innocent you even stayed getting mad. How dare she not respond to you after being nice about it and even trying to be nice to Wednesday after the names and things she said and called you.
You ignored her for days. Until Wednesday couldn’t handle it anymore. That’s saying something.
She wasn’t sure what to say?
“I’m sorry.”
No she doesn’t say sorry.
“It’s my fault.”
It was her fault but in a way it wasn’t. She couldn’t say that.
“I love you.”
No. No way to lovey for her .
Screw it say whatever comes to your mind when you see her again.
She knocked on your dorm. You opened. Then closed it again. Wednesday began to walk away but she was done avoiding you when she loved you as much as she did . It was that moment she knew what to say.
She walked back to the door. But didn’t knock.
“Y/n? I know that you don’t want to talk to me right now. But I’m not sure I can live without you. I lay in bed at night cold, colder than usual from knowing I no longer have you in my life. There’s a void in my heart that needs your space. Your hugs when I let you. You ranting on to me about things I don’t care about until you care about it. I don’t know what to do without those little things I enjoy about you. I still have your necklace you gave me. The blood vile necklace I hold on to it when I think of the possibilities of what I would be doing if I was with you at that moment.” She says. She cringes at what she says but still does not regret it.
You open the door and for the first time in your life and hers.
She hugged you.
This is iffy for me I feel like I didn’t write Wednesday well but I don’t care. Also if your read my other Wednesday fics you might have caught onto the blood vile necklace You gave Wednesday in my other one shots<3333
#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday fluff#wednesday angst#wednsday addams#wednesday addams x female reader#wednesday addams hc#wednesday addams series#wednesday addams fluff#Wednesday Addams angst#Wednesday Addams argue ment
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idea. listen to fine im fine right after literally any of chonny's old vent songs
"it's so much less disturbing just to grit your teeth and smile" (pit) -> "let me smile with my eyes instead of my teeth"
"it's sad how nice the past is, tainted by these vile rose-tinted glasses" (backlit by moonlight) -> "I don't need a rose-tinted lens to enbrighten these greys" / "why dwell in the past when this life is so vast?"
"i haven't smiled sincere in a while" (every ounce of energy) -> "the grin i wear is real, and it crawls from ear to ear"
"i can't find any willpower i need now to fix this life" (three paces away) -> "I cannot pretend anymore that this life can still be beat"
(honestly the entirety of a devil's tricks) -> "hated by the me that thought he'd die in complacent hatred / this time i'll look him straight in the eyes and say / mate, i fucking made it"
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An Unlikely Encounter
Jake Kiszka x f!reader
Warnings: implied physical assault, alcohol consumption, allusions to smoking weed, explicit sexual content, jealousy, praise kink, dominant Jake
18+, MINORS DNI
TAGLIST: @torniturntomyarrow @ignite-my-fire
A/N: I’m so sorry, I wrote this in my drafts and can’t seem to figure out the word count now… but I hope you all enjoy!
Chapter 4
You woke up screaming from the horrendous dream you’d just had, but the panic subdued quickly as you felt Kat’s arms around you.
“Hey, hey. Shhh… it’s ok. I’m here. I’m here.” She whispers softly, smoothing your hair gently with her fingertips. You begin to sob and she squeezes you tightly.
“Do you think you can tell me what happened last night now?”
You prop yourself up onto your elbows and lean against the headboard, cheeks puffy and tear-stained. Kat passes you a tissue and you loudly blow your nose into it.
“I guess…” you trail off. Kat places her hand on your thigh and looks at you, her face a picture of pure empathy. You honestly don’t know what you’d do without her.
“I thought you’d forgotten your key, like you always do. So I opened the door not even bothering to check through the peep hole. Connor was there.”
“That son of a bitch!! I’m gunna kill him!” She spits, eyes filled with fury.
“He was wasted Kat, fucking stank. He started saying some really vile things about me and Jake. When I tried to shut the door he lunged at me. If those men hadn’t been walking past I dread to think what would have happened.” Fresh tears spill from your eyes at the recollection.
Kat whips her phone from the bedside table and begins searching for Connor’s number, but you put your hand up in protest. “Please, no. I want to forget he exists.”
She frowns, but ultimately respects your wishes. “Ok, but if I see that waste of space, good for nothing mother fucker EVER again, I’ll rip his fucking head from his torso.”
Her brutality elicits a small giggle from your lips and she immediately softens her scowl, laughing along with you.
“What was your dream about?”
You sigh. “I dreamt that Connor got hold of me, and he hurt me really bad. Jake came back, but he saw me lying there beaten black and blue and just walked away. I screamed for him, but he kept walking.” Tears welled in your eyes again, threatening to escape and roll down onto your cheeks.
“Y/N, he would never. If he saw what happened, I don’t think Connor would be able to walk again… Jake cares about you.”
“I just don’t understand why, I’m a nobody. He could have any girl he wanted. I’m so damaged, I find it hard to let people in.” You grimace, picking at the skin around your nails.
“Because you’re a fucking worldie, babe.” Kat grabs your shoulders and looks you straight in the eye. “I wouldn’t be best friends with you if you weren’t special, you twat.”
~
The weeks went by quickly as you busied yourself helping Kat with her work, you’d even found time to record a few covers that you’d been meaning to do for a while. You loved to sing, but your ex couldn’t stand it. He always complained about the noise disturbing him. Slowly over the course of your relationship, your confidence dwindled to almost zero. You no longer found comfort in performing, only singing along to songs in the shower or as you worked. You had promised yourself that you’d get back into it when your relationship ended, so you sat there in Kat’s flat, fiddling with your mic and connecting it to the interface. It had been a while since you’d done this, so you played around with the settings on your software and took the time to familiarise. Once you were happy, you adjusted your headphones began to sing into the mic, a rush of euphoria hitting you as you perfected each vocal run. You’d settled on ‘Dreams’ by Fleetwood Mac, something you could easily grasp for your first song back. You made sure to record yourself with your phone whilst you were singing, so that you could add the audio to the clip. When you’d finished and were satisfied with how it sounded, you saved the clip and sent it to Kat.
Guess who’s finally back?
A few moments later, your phone pinged. OMFG, Y/N! You’re insane!! Post this, now.
You chuckled, shaking your head. Not just yet…
You packed your equipment away and wandered into the kitchen to make a snack. You swung the doors of the fridge open, spotting a rosy, red apple. You sliced it into segments and put them into a bowl, then cut up some mature cheddar cheese into cubes and popped them alongside. As you settled down onto the sofa and flipped the TV on, your phone pinged again. This time, it was Jake.
How is my gorgeous girl today? I am so excited to see you this weekend.
You instantly smile to yourself. Hey, Jakey. Really good thanks, had a productive day. How are you? I’m so excited to see you too.
A few seconds after you press send your phone screen lights up with a FaceTime call.
“I never get tired of seeing that face.” He beams. “What have you been up to that’s so productive?”
“Oh, you know, just helping Kat out with her admin and stuff.” You didn’t want to tell Jake that you sang, not wanting to draw attention to that part of your life.
“Nice, well we’re heading to the arena soon.”
“You’re in Denmark now, right?”
“Yeah, it’s beautiful here in Copenhagen. I’d love to take you sometime.”
You and Jake speak for the best part of an hour, about the tour so far, and where he’d take you when he had the chance. He learnt about the places of the world you’d been to and where you aspired to go.
“I’d love to visit the States. I’ve never been.”
“I’m sure I could show you one day.” He spoke with such a genuine smile, which made you feel like he really enjoyed your conversations. His eyes sparkled as you bared your soul to him, his heart growing fonder with each revelation.
“Come on man, we’re late!” You hear Josh’s voice boom from the screen. “Hello, Songbird.” Josh directs to you. “How is my favourite girl?”
Jake’s face visibly changes, his brows knitting together. You and Josh had formed quite a solid friendship over the last week, you almost spoke to him as much as Jake. He even called you a few times, once whilst your favourite Fleetwood Mac song was playing. You softly hummed along to “Songbird” whilst you listened to Josh talk, and ever since that’s been his pet name for you.
“Hi bestie, I’m good thanks.” You giggle.
“Fantastic! We miss you” He looks away and points at Jake “Dude, we’re leaving! Now! Bye, Songbird, I’ll call you later after the show?”
“Sure thing, Josh. Break a leg!” You respond. Jake looks back at the camera, his face still crumpled.
“I’ll talk to you later, bye beautiful.”
~
A few days later you were rushing around Kat’s flat, throwing clothes and toiletries between you.
“You have to wear this to the show, you’ll look so hot!” Kat winks, chucking a garment at you.
You pick up the white leather mini dress and hold it up to your chest. It’s strapless and skin tight, adorned with small, silver sequins and tassels hanging delicately across the hemline.
“Kat, this is STUNNING! I can’t wear this, I’d be too scared that I’d ruin it!”
“Well, tough shit. I made it for you.”
Your mouth falls open. “Katrina Chiara Romano, is that why you’ve been spending so much time in your workshop?!”
“What? I had to make sure my bestie looked fire when she watches her boyfriend play live.”
“He’s not my boyfriend!” You smack her arm playfully. “Thank you so much, you sly dog!”
Once you’ve both packed, you haul your suitcases outside and into the taxi. As you settle into the car and the driver moves off, Kat grabs onto your hand and squeezes it. You both squeal in unison, both incredibly excited for what lies ahead. You make it to the airport and the whole process goes smoothly, which is never usually the case with you and airports. You hate flying, but the excitement bubbling in your chest takes your mind completely off the journey. You both board the plane and you run down the aisle to nab the window seat. Kat sits down next to you and you immediately pull your phone out to snap a selfie.
“Say, Greta Van Fleet!” You cheer, throwing up a peace sign and pouting.
When you land in Portugal, the temperature is a far cry from the frigid London air you’ve been used to. Even though it was Winter, the climate was balmy and you’re glad you didn’t pack all woolly jumpers and scarves. You and Kat retrieve your bags and walk through to collections, both of you scanning the open space for any sign of the boys. A wolf whistle pierces through the silence which makes you both jump, you follow the sound and your eyes land on a huge cardboard sign that reads “Greta’s Groupies”. You both run over to the boys with open arms, Sam swiftly enveloping Kat in a tight embrace. Josh darts out ahead of Jake and scoops you up in his arms, twirling you around as you shriek with laughter.
“Songbird!” He trills.
“Joshua! I’ve missed you so much.” You smile, then look over his shoulder and yell “I’ve missed you all! Yes, even you Sammy!”
Josh puts you down and Jake is at your side instantly, taking you in his arms and pressing a kiss to your lips.
“Hello, beautiful.” He smiles.
“Hi, Jakey.” You breathe, your head spinning with emotion.
The reunion continues with the boys handing out warm hugs to both you and Kat, rejoicing in your company. Sam takes Kat’s suitcase from her and begins to wheel it towards the door, signalling that it’s time to get going to the hotel. You turn to grab the handle of your suitcase and notice that it’s no longer behind you.
“Hey, where’s my suitcase?”
“I’ve got it, Songbird.” Josh smiles. Jake walks to his brother and reaches his hand out, which causes Josh to raise his eyebrow.
“Dude, I’ve got it. It’s fine.” Josh mutters.
“No. I’ll take it.” Jake pushes Josh’s hand, snatching the suitcase from his grip. You frown, confused at the situation. Josh mirrors your confusion, but shakes it off with a laugh and extends his arm out for you to take.
“Shall we?”
You all pile into the back of a limousine, which is far fancier than you expected.
“Guys, was this necessary? A limo? Come on.” You giggle.
“Only the best for our girls.” Josh winks, playfully elbowing you. Jake audibly huffs.
“Hey, man. What’s up with you?” Danny probes.
Jake shakes his head “Just tired, I guess.” You extend your arm out and squeeze his knee, provoking a small smile.
~
Once you’ve unpacked in your hotel room and have freshened up from your journey, you make your way along the hall to find the others. You’re not sure why you’ve been given your own room, you assumed that you’d be staying with Jake for the duration of the trip. As you reach Jake’s door and go to knock you hear raised voices from inside.
“What the fuck is your problem, Jake?”
“My problem is that you’re getting really fucking cosy with her, Josh. What are you doing? You know I like her and you know she likes me!”
“Will you get your head out of your ass!”
“You always do this! Why can’t you just let me have the limelight for once?”
“I’m sick of your attitude, she’s a friend, Jake! A friend of mine, a friend of yours, a friend of Danny’s, a friend of Sam’s. Stop it with the jealousy!”
“She’s not just a friend to me and you know that!”
You bolt out of the way quickly as you hear footsteps approaching and hide around the corner, not wanting them to know you’d heard their conversation. Jake slams the door shut and storms down the hall, thankfully not noticing you. You gingerly approach the door and knock. Within a few seconds, Josh answers.
“Hey, sorry, Jake isn’t here.” He rubs his hand across his face, smoothing his facial hair downwards.
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah, do you want to come in?”
You follow him inside and sit down on the sofa. The room is big, with a sizeable bar section. Josh walks over and points at the plethora of liquor.
“You want? I’m having one, so it’s only fair that you join me.”
“Sure, whatever’s best.” You smile. Josh busies himself making your drink and you look around the room. You spot several crumpled up pieces of paper on the desk, but your eyes are averted away by Josh placing a glass in front of you. He sits down beside you and takes a long sip from his glass.
“How was your flight, Songbird?”
“It was fine actually. I’m not the best flier, but I was so excited that I completely forgot I was in the air.”
“I used to hate flying, but when you’re on tour as often as we are you get accustomed to it pretty quickly.”
You smile at him, your gaze falling to your hands as you pick at your fingernails. “Where’s Jake?”
Josh looks like he isn’t sure what to say, he bites his lip and begins to speak but he’s cut off by the door swinging open.
“Hey, man. Look, I’ve had a breather and I think I-” Jake pauses as he spots you both sitting there. “What the fuck is this?” His eyes dart between you and the glasses on the table.
“She came looking for you and I invited her in to wait.” Josh stands, brushing his hands across his slacks. “I’ll leave you to it, need to get ready anyway.” He pushes past Jake and disappears through the door. You look up at Jake, titling your head. He immediately softens and comes to sit next to you, as he brushes past your legs you’re hit with the overwhelming scent of weed.
“Have you been smoking?”
“Yeah, needed something to take the edge off.” He stifles a laugh, then clears his throat.
“What is up with you two today?”
“Nothing. Why, what did he say?” Jake straightens, clearly uncomfortable.
“He didn’t say anything, it’s just obvious there’s some kind of… tension.”
Jake sighs and runs his hands through his hair “There’s nothing wrong, beautiful. Just pre-show nerves, gets to us sometimes is all.” He pats your knee. You know he’s lying, but you can’t let on that you heard their argument earlier, so you place your hand on top of his.
“You don’t have anything to be nervous about, I’ve seen you all play countless times and you fucking own that stage.”
His eyes turn dark, as if your praise has washed away any memory of his current feelings. He brings his hands to your face and pulls you to meet his lips. You accept his advances hungrily, allowing his tongue to lap against yours. He moves his hands to your waist and pulls you on top of him so you’re straddling his hips. As he manoeuvres you, you make slight contact with his belt and can’t stop the moan that escapes your lips at the friction.
“Don’t you praise me and then make those noises, I’ll have to cancel the show so I can fuck you into my mattress.” He breathes against the shell of your ear.
You inhale deeply, suddenly extremely turned on. It’s been weeks since you last had any contact with Jake, and you’re already wet just thinking about the dirty, awful things that you’ll both do together later.
“You can’t cancel the show, as much as I want you inside of me right now.”
Jake groans, pulling you into him harder. You gasp, your fingers digging into his shoulders.
“Jake, don’t start something you can’t finish.” You whine, your chest heaving with arousal.
“Oh, I’ll fucking finish you later, sweetheart. I’ll show you just how much I missed you.”
~
The boys were ushered off for soundcheck and that left you and Kat to get ready. You both did your hair and makeup, sharing a bottle of pinot noir between you.
“You look fucking hot, Y/N.”
“Says you, Sam’s eyes will pop out of his head!” You giggle. Kat was wearing a black lacy corset that cinched her tiny waist, enhancing her curves. She paired the corset with a pair of silky high waisted electric blue trousers which contrasted her auburn hair perfectly. She zipped up your dress and handed you a deep burgundy lipstick.
“This will finish the look.”
You swipe it on and look at yourself in the mirror. You do look good…
“Time to go!” You grab her hand and squeal. The two of you make your way over to the arena, your VIP passes swinging around your necks as you canter along. The security guard at the door checks your passes and gives you the all clear, and another member of the security crew escorts you backstage. Sam is the first to notice you both, bobbing his head with his mouth agape.
“Well, aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes! Two fallen angels!” He hollers, wrapping an arm around you both.
“You don’t look too bad yourself, Kiszka.” Kat winks.
Josh rounds the corner and theatrically falls to his knees, placing the back of his hand on his forehead.
“Be still my beating heart. You are exquisite, my darlings.”
He’s wearing one of his famous jumpsuits, with his chest exposed. Rhinestones adorn his cheeks, sparkling in the light with every movement. He’s so beautiful that it takes your breath away.
“Joshua Kiszka, look at you. Prettier than a picture.” You giggle, opening your arms out to him. Just then, Jake and Danny appear.
“Lauren, Kat, you both look stunning!” Danny beams.
“You look fucking hot, Danny.” Kat raises her eyebrows, smirking.
“Well, thank you. I’m blushing.” Danny playfully covers his face with his hands.
You meet Jake’s eyes, he’s looking you up and down like he would devour you right now in front of everyone if he could. He’s wearing his signature black suit, the jacket open and showing his tanned chest and silver chains. He beckons you over with a curl of his finger. You excuse yourself and walk over, and his hands find your hips instantly. He pulls you close and whispers into your ear “You look fucking beautiful, that dress… I can’t wait to take it off you later.”
“Sorry to cut this short, but we need to head backstage. Brian will take you to your seats.” Josh points across to the crew member. “See you on the other side!”
You and Kat wish them good luck and follow Brian out into the arena to your seats. They are by far the closest you’ve ever been to the stage, right opposite the walkway that you know Josh and Jake will both use during the show. It was so odd being here on this side, with a view of the space that would be filled with thousands of screaming fans. You were once one of them, and you’d been swept up so quickly on this journey that you hadn’t had time to process it yet. You sat, expressionless, staring into the void whilst your mind whirred with endless thoughts. Kat notices and snaps her fingers in front of your face.
“You good?”
“Yeah, just thinking about how crazy this all is. A few weeks ago they had no idea who I was, now we’re like… besties.” You laugh.
“I honestly have no idea how you pulled this off, but I’m glad you did. You’ve been happier than I’ve seen you in years, and that’s all I care about. It’s been shit watching the life be sucked out of you, you have your glow back now.” She smiles, wrapping her arms around you.
“What would I do without you?”
“Fucked if I know!” She giggles.
The arena begins to fill up and you watch the fans sprinting towards the barricade. It feels like just yesterday that was you. After around 30 minutes, the opening act appears on stage and starts their set. You sway along, enjoying their vibe. It’s the same band that opened in London, but this time you were able to remain focused and listen to how talented they were. A part of you felt a spark of envy, this was something you’d always wanted to do yourself but never had the confidence to pursue. A few songs in you feel a tap on your shoulder. It’s Brian.
“Miss Y/N, I’ve been requested to bring you back stage for a moment.”
You look to Kat. “Will you be ok for a minute?”.
She nods and ushers you towards Brian. You follow him down the steps and backstage. He leads you down the corridor and into a dressing room, where Jake is sitting. He stands as you enter.
“And what exactly do you want with me then, sir?” You smirk.
“I wanted to see you one more time before we go on.” He grabs hold of your hands and pulls you into him, his hands snaking around your waist. “You’re my good luck charm.”
“Is that so? I don’t think you need a good luck charm.”
His hands find their way to your face and he cradles it, then sweeps his fingers into your hair as he kisses you softly. You mirror his actions and entangle your hands into his chestnut locks, kissing him deeper. He gasps into your mouth and you feel his cock harden against your hips.
“Someone’s gagging for it.” You tease. He whips you around so your back is to him. With one hand on your throat, the other slips in between your legs. Your breath hitches in your throat as his fingers dance over your clothed clit.
“Keep teasing, sweetheart. You’ll be sorry later.”
The door swings open and you swiftly part, both looking sheepishly at Josh who has burst into the room. His face glows red and he averts his eyes.
“Uhhh, sorry… Thought you were alone. We need to head to the stage.”
Your hands fly up to your mouth as you attempt to muffle the laughter spilling from you. “Sorry, Josh. I’ll get back to my seat. You guys are gunna do great! See you after, my rockstars!”
~
The show is absolutely phenomenal. Just like you predicted, both Jake and Josh make full use of the walkway in front of you, strutting down it like they own the place. They steal the spotlight in their own special ways. Josh is flamboyant and eccentric in his movements and seems to glide across the stage, oozing charisma and charm. Jake, on the other hand, is just animalistic. The way he throws his head back and grinds into his guitar is quite frankly obscene, but you and every other girl in the room are completely mesmerised by it. If his mission was to arouse his fans, he was certainly fulfilling it. The way he locked eyes with some of the fans had you feeling a pang of jealousy, which you tried to keep buried deep down. It wasn’t until you saw him lean over the barricade to whisper into a fan’s ear that the jealously abruptly bubbled over. You saw red, balling your fists beside you until your knuckles were white.
“Hey, you ok?” Kat reaches down and puts her hand over your fist, and you immediately relax them.
“I don’t know what came over me, sorry.”
“Is it seeing Jake with those girls?”
“Yeah, but I’m being stupid. I’m not his girlfriend…”
“He’s sure treating you like you are.”
The night plays on and you witness a few more of these encounters between Jake and his female fans. Each time you feel your temper boil over, until you’ve finally had enough when you see him hand a pick to a pretty blonde. Luckily for you, the show is ending and they are finishing up their encore. You propel yourself from your seat and don’t even think about Kat as you storm down the steps. The band is making their way off stage as you round the corner. Jake calls out your name but you ignore him and keep walking down the corridor. You find the dressing room with Josh’s name on it and let yourself in, collapsing onto the sofa with a thud. A few moments later Josh appears.
“There you are, Jake was going out of his mind. I’ll go and-”
“No. I came in here on purpose. I don’t want to see him.”
Josh frowns and sits down next to you. “What’s happened, Songbird?”
“He’s been practically throwing himself at the girls in the crowd all night.” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest. Josh places his hand on your thigh.
“I really don’t think that changes how he feels about you, it’s just for show.”
“It might not, but it’s still pissed me off. The worst part is, I don’t even have the right to be upset with him. I’m not his girlfriend, I don’t even know what this thing is between us. But he brought me here, and I thought…” you trail off, tears glistening in your eyes.
“Hey, he’d be a fucking fool to lose you, Songbird. Please don’t let it ruin your time here, and anyway, you have me.” He tilts your chin up to look at him and flashes you his signature toothy grin. You throw your arms around him and squeeze him tight. “God, I love you, Josh.”
“And I love you, Songbird. Come on, pick yourself up, we’re going out to celebrate.”
The whole ride to the bar you avoid eye contact with Jake, though he doesn’t stop trying to get your attention. As you’re mid conversation with Sam, Danny and Kat, you spot Jake and Josh having a hushed but heated conversation out of the corner of your eye. You just about make out Josh tell Jake to “not fuck it up, because Y/N is an angel walking the earth”. Your heart melts at the way he is standing up for you.
You’re the first to exit the cab and enter the bustling bar. There’s a live band playing and there are many people up dancing along to the rhythm. You walk over to the bar and immediately order a tequila soda, but as you go to pay Jake’s hand appears in front of you and hands the bartender a note.
“I said everything would be taken care of.”
You remain cold, not acknowledging his existence. You bring the straw of you drink to your lips and take a long sip, feeling the burn of the tequila slip down your throat.
“You gunna give me the cold-shoulder all evening?”
“I haven’t decided yet.” You respond, still not meeting his eye.
“Y/N. Look at me.” You ignore his request, taking another sip from your drink. His hand shoots out and grabs your chin, manoeuvring it so that you’re facing him.
“Talk to me.”
You shake your head. “I think I’m gunna go and dance.”
You remove the straw from your drink and down the rest, slamming the glass onto the bar and push past Jake to make your way to the dance floor. You find the rest of the guys there already, dancing along with Kat. You join in, shaking your hips to the rhythm and eliciting a wolf whistle from Sam.
“Damn, girl. You’ve got moves!”
With the tequila now in your system, your inhibitions are significantly lower. Your hand finds Josh’s and you tug on it until he’s face to face with you.
“Dance with me, pretty boy.”
He laughs and spins you around, then dips you down low. Your hands loop around his neck and his find your waist as your bodies move together to the music. You both shriek with laughter as you grind up against each other. You throw your hands up and slowly sway your hips side to side as you sink down onto your knees and back up again. Josh watches you, licking his lips. It’s clear he’s also under the influence, as usually it’s a lot more PG between the two of you. His hands find your waist again and he pulls you closer this time, his eyes darting between your eyes and lips. Suddenly, as if you both simultaneously realise what’s happening, you part. Josh rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.
“I’m- I’m gunna go to the bathroom.” You mutter before exiting the dance floor. You hastily locate the single unisex stall and shut the door behind you. You lean against the sink and inhale deeply. What the fuck are you doing?
As you’re gathering yourself, the door swings open. Shit, you forgot to lock it. You spin around to find Jake standing there, nostrils flared.
“You wanna tell me what the fuck that was?”
“Jake, I’m-”
“My brother, Y/N?! I knew something was going on between you two!”
Suddenly you see red. “I beg your fucking pardon, Jake? There’s nothing between me and Josh! He’s my friend! And anyway, what about you and your fucking bimbo in the crowd?!” You spit.
He looks taken aback, not expecting that response from you, but quickly reverts back to anger.
“Is that what this is about? That’s nothing! I was being nice to my fans, Y/N. That’s all that was. God you sound just like her.” Before he’s finished speaking he already regrets the words that have fallen from his mouth. His eyes widen and he rubs his temples viciously.
“I sound like who?” You glare.
“Forget it. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not letting that go, fucking speak up.”
He sighs “My ex-girlfriend. I swore off dating when we ended things. She got so jealous of the life I lead, even though she knew what she was signing up for. I loved her, and she broke my heart. When I saw you with Josh, I thought history was repeating itself.”
“Her… and Josh?”
“No, it’s not like that. She tried it. Tried it with each of the guys. They didn’t do anything, so she just fucked the first person she could find instead. She did it all to get back at me, she thought I was sleeping with my fans. That’s not something I do, and not something I ever intended to do… until you. There’s something different about you, and although it scared me because of how badly my heart was broken, I couldn’t let you walk away.”
Your face falls. You’d been so stupid, thinking he’d drop you for the next girl that looked his way.
“Jake, I’m so sorry. I would never do that, I’m sorry that I got too close with Josh. That was never my intention. Maybe I wanted you to feel a bit jealous, but I would never ever cross that line. It was just harmless fun, or so I thought.”
“I really like you, Y/N. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t. I think… I think I’m falling for you and I can’t stop.” He closes the gap between you and caresses your cheek, his lips ghosting over yours.
“I think I am too.” You latch onto his shirt and pull him into you, your mouth melting into his. It feels like time slows to a stop, your lips on his and the way he’s holding you is all that matters. He’s like a shining beacon of light in a pitch black room. You break away at the sound of a knock at the bathroom door. A voice from the other side is speaking in Portuguese, a customer clearly needing to use the room for its intended purposes. As you exit the bathroom, the customer mutters under their breath. You don’t speak a lick of Portuguese but you’re certain they are complaining about the two of you being in there together. Jake walks ahead of you and re-joins the group who are now situated in a booth.
“Y/N and I are going to head back to the hotel, she’s not feeling too good.”
You begin to protest, but Jake flashes you a look. “Yeah, sorry guys. I hope you have fun.”
Josh shoots you an apologetic half-smile and you mouth don’t worry at him, then you bid your goodbyes and follow Jake out the door.
When you arrive at the hotel you expect Jake to split from you and go towards his room, but he walks behind you as you enter your room.
“I guess you’re coming in here then?”
His demeanour shifts as soon as the door is shut.
“Get on the fucking bed.”
You freeze, unsure of the change in atmosphere.
“I said, get on the fucking bed. Don’t make me ask again”
Your body goes into autopilot at the low boom of his voice, dripping in authority. You position yourself at the head of the bed.
“You’ve been a fucking brat tonight. Do you know what happens to brats?”
You shake your head, suddenly feeling like a deer in headlights.
“They get punished.”
Your breath hitches in your throat, his dominance causing a gush of arousal to pool inside of you.
“Turn around.” He barks.
You obey his command and he begins unzipping your dress, exposing your bare chest and thong. He twirls his index finger, signalling you to turn back around, then uses the palm of his hand pressed between your breasts to guide you back. He pinches your nipple between his finger and thumb, then rolls it slowly. You hiss at the sensation. He takes your nipple into his mouth and swirls his tongue around the hardened bud. Your back arches off the bed, it’s been weeks since you’ve felt him touch you like this and you need him like your lungs need air. With your nipple still in his mouth, he slinks his hand between your legs and begins to rub agonisingly slow circles over your pussy.
“So wet already, and I’ve only just begun.”
He releases your nipple with a pop and removes your thong. He pushes your legs apart so that you’re spread wide for him, then runs his fingers through your folds. Your hips buck up, so he uses his free hand to anchor your hips down. He dips his finger into your entrance and curls it up into your g-spot. You whine needily.
“More, Jake, please.”
“Uh uh, only good girls get to beg for more. You haven’t been a good girl, have you Songbird?” The use of Josh’s pet name for you in such a filthy way makes your eyes roll back into your head. He stops and withdraws his fingers from you, and you let out another whine.
“Answer me.”
“No, I haven’t been a good girl. I’m sorry Jakey.”
“Apologies won’t work on me tonight.”
He pushes his fingers back into you and begins to circle his tongue around your clit, picking up the speed until all you can hear is the sound of his fingers driving into your dripping cunt.
“Jake, I’m gunna cum.”
As you reach your peak and begin to pulse around him, he stops and sits up to watch the mess he’s created with the biggest, shit-eating grin on his face.
“Jakeeeeee!” You squeal. “Please, please. Let me cum!” Tears are forming in your eyes and you feel ridiculous.
“Cry all you want, princess. This is your punishment.”
“Please, I’ll be so good for you. Jakey, please.”
“You wanna be a good girl for me now then, hm?”
“Yes, I promise. I’ll be good.”
He stands and unbuckles his belt, letting it drop to the floor. He unzips his pants and removes them, along with his boxers. “Better put that smart mouth to good use then.”
You immediately drop to your knees in front of him and he sighs.
“Aren’t you a pretty picture, down there on your knees for me?”
You open up your mouth and swallow him whole, eliciting a moan from his lips.
“Fuck, baby girl.” He whispers through gritted teeth as you bob your head back and forth, taking his entire length into your throat. You want to give him your best, to prove to him that you’re willing to be good. His hand finds the back of your head and he grips onto your hair as you take him into your mouth. You can feel your eyes watering but you keep going, pushing through. Seeing his face contort with pleasure has you dripping down your thighs. You can feel he’s close when his cock begins to twitch in your mouth, so you quicken your pace, flattening your tongue and letting it slip along his length.
“Baby, I’m gunna cum.”
You rake your nails down the back of his thighs and he groans, his hips sputtering as he paints the back of your throat with ropes of his cum. You swallow it down and lick your lips, then rise to your knees and pull him into you. You kiss him and lap your tongue against his.
“You taste so good, don’t you baby?”
He grunts and guides you over to the bed, motioning for you to get on all fours. He pulls his shirt off and moves behind you, slipping his fingers inside of you.
“So fucking wet.”
He uses your slick to lube himself up and then pushes his cock inside you until he’s bottomed out. He thrusts into you at a delicious pace, his hand snaking around your hip to play with your clit.
“I wanna try something, just let me know if you are uncomfortable at any point.”
“Ok, I will.”
He brings his hand back around and sucks on his fingers, collecting his spit and then begins to rub circles around your back entrance. You jolt slightly, not expecting the sensation.
“Is that ok?” He asks.
“Yeah, I’ve just never done this before. But I’m willing to try.”
He massages into you and then leans in and lets his saliva drip from his tongue onto you, then pushes a finger gently inside. It stings at first, but once you get used to the feeling you enter a new realm of arousal.
“Holy fuck” you breathe. “More.”
“Are you sure baby?”
“Yes, more. Fuck me harder too, please.”
He gently inserts another finger into you and picks up his pace, thrusting deeper. You let out a string of moans and curses, rocking backwards to meet his thrusts. He curls his fingers up inside you and you feel the white hot coil in your stomach tighten, threatening to unravel.
“Fuck, fuck. Jake that feels so fucking good.”
He drives into you faster, flicking his fingers up with every snap of his hips. Your whole body is trembling with pleasure, you didn’t think it was even possible to feel this level of ecstasy after your initial experiences with Jake. It felt so dirty and wrong, yet so right at the same time.
“Jake, I’m gunna cum!” You barely make out the words before you’re plunging into the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had. The dam inside you bursts and you gush around his cock, soaking everything in sight. As he pulls out of you, you hear him moan and he cums for the second time. You collapse onto your chest, still riding out your high. You lay there, chest heaving as you catch your breath. Jake sits on the bed next to you and brushes your hair from your face.
“That was… fucking amazing. I didn’t think you could make me cum any harder but, fuck.” You giggle hazily.
“You drive me crazy, Songbird.” Jake chuckles back. He tilts his head to the side and smiles softly.
“Shower?”
You prop yourself up and grin back at him.
“You know me so well.”
#jake gvf#jake kiszka#jake greta van fleet#jake lane#jacob thomas kiszka#greta van fic#jake kiszka smut#jake kiszka fic#jake kiszka x reader#jake gvf smut#jakedown#jake kiszka fanfic#jake kiszka gvf#jaket kiszka#jacob kiszka smut#jacob kiszka#gvf smut#josh greta van fleet#josh kiszka#josh gvf#twin lane#jtk
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Hello I'm not sure if ur requests are open but if they are could I request sakamaki headcannons with finding out that one of the past sacrifical brides still resides in the Manor as a ghost, because her soul is trapped there, but unlike the other ghosts, she's visible
She had been fairly neutral to them, mostly but with some weird distaste/hatred for kanato and she mostly aimlessly wanders around the mansion, somewhat annoyed with her soul being trapped there and visible
(Sorry if this is far too detailed and I apologise if your not taking asks as of now! I like your blog alot btw♡)
The wandering bride
My requests are mostly always open! And no problem, it's best to know what the dear reader wants! So being specific is GREAT!!
Sakamaki headcannon! Ghost!reader-fem!reader
No shipping tho bride does have favoritism and it’s Yui!
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When you see her
She is usually seen in the corner of eyes.
Seeing the white glow of a dress and the grumbling and echos of her voice.
She was nothing really bothersome to the brothers she mostly wanders the halls only to faze into walls or just stand and stare out at the gates of the mansion a pained expression on her face only to turn and disappear into fog.
She is most loud at night mumbling about wanting to leave this tragic land to the other world.
Interaction
She wouldn’t pester any of the brothers, but sometimes, when she is disturbed by them, such as them telling her to shut up, she will play petty little tricks.
When upset, she will hide their things or break them almost like a tantrum.
While she doesn’t care for most of the brothers, she finds Kanato disturbing she would find herself disgusted by the vampire.
With the other vampires, when they do see her, she will float by them, completely ignoring them.
But when she sees Kanato, she frowns like she ate something sour and disappears into fog.
Yui’s arrival
When Yui first came to the mansion, a cold chill went down the brides dead spine some what of an instinct.
She would follow Yui around, though the human can’t see her completely. Yui could still see a shadow in the mirrors and whispers that tell her to leave along with cold winds brushing her skin.
She does her best trying to protect Yui, thinking maybe she will fall the same fate as her, and she would never want that for no other person.
When Yui becomes prey for the brothers, the bride will try her most best to keep her safe it being locking the doors for her dropping painting on the floor or moving furniture.
With that, the bride became more aggressive and more to the purple haired vampire as he threatened Yui.
She would no longer roam the halls but stay at the balcony of the sleeping Yui just in case she needs defending.
Because she can’t let another girl lose her life for the vile greed of a vampire.
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A/N
Idk if this is what you wanted but I did the best I can do! Honestly I’ve been waiting for requests and thank god someone finally asked!! Also I made the bride a girls girls! Or maybe… wuuh luuh wuuh idk 🤷 maybe Im self reflecting it could also just be girls protecting girls!
I hope this did satisfy you! Anyways
Love yall xoxo!!! 💋💋💕💕💕💕
#fanfic#fanfiction#fem reader#diabolik lovers kanato#diabolik lovers#headcanon#diabolik headcanons#platonic fanfic#dead reader#fanfic request
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the vile, genuinely disturbing things aarmau fans said about jenny when fcu was airing honestly scare me. there's so much aggression in the comments. all because she got in the way of a ship which is poorly-written as best and problematic at worst.
jenny was nothing but kind the whole damn season idk why the comments section was acting like she was the most vile bitch to ever grace an aphverse production
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have you seen this post? or just anything from this blog (that gets a lot of positive support)
https://www.tumblr.com/whenmagicfilledtheair/740906474389356544/do-you-think-romani-brought-persecution-on?source=share
i am honestly so disgusted and hopeless i can't formulate a thought
My dear sweet anon ::pats you on the head::
Your life would be so much better if you stopped looking at that garbage dump of a blog, and just forgot that it ever existed.
This is one of those “control what you can and let go of what you can’t” scenarios. There will always be people who hate Jews, who spread antisemitic blood libel like it’s a full time job. The best thing to do is just ignore them and focus on what’s truly important: supporting and getting support from our fellow Jews and our real allies, and celebrating who we are as Jews because unlike them, we actually understand what that means. The best antidote is just being Jewish, in other words. There’s no better “fuck you” to antisemites than simply existing as a Jew, cherishing and exploring Judaism and Jewish identity, whatever that means to you, and living your best life. Or if you’re a non Jew disturbed by antisemitism, being an ally to Jews and knowing you’re helping us through this difficult time.
For me, I’ve found that the vile things they say about us don’t matter as long as I know for myself that they’re not true. What they say doesn’t matter. They don’t matter. And deep down they know it, because they’re the ones who are pathologically obsessed with us. Frankly, I pity them. They’re in a prison of their own making. They’re the ones who have doomed themselves to a life of trying the Sisyphean task of destroying the Jews, and get more and more frustrated each day they fail.
They’re the ones throwing tantrums at the Jews from the outside, while we’re the ones who get to be the Jews. Being Jewish is a pretty special thing. And ironically, those people only remind me of that all the more.
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