#and that’s not the clear bias i have talking it’s genuinely me being like girl get out of there 😭

[priestfrommidnightmass]

not to talk abt real life in media terms BUT if my life right now was fictionalized not only would people say my whole thing i’ve got going on is one of the most fucking insane queerbaits they’ve ever seen BUT they’d also say it’s one of those outdated and misogynistic narratives where the girlfriend is treated like unrealistically terribly 😭

[puckgoss]

Okay great! Same anon from before. BTW, love your blog! The others seem to have a clear bias but I love how you keep it real over here. Super interesting as well! Now with the real deal...

CELEBS:

Justin Bieber is super nice, he seemed genuinely honored and happy to be there. Him and Mitch Marner are sooo cute, Justin was so supportive of him all the time and cheered backstage so much. He's also cool with Crosby apparently, saw them talking a lot. Met Hailey briefly and not surprised, just classic model behavior, glasses on inside, didn't say hi to anybody just a slight smile. It's fine I guess but compared to Justin who was a ray of sunshine seemed kinda odd. Michael Bublé did not 'accidentally' take a huge dose of weed, he was joking about how high he was and laughing about smoking more afterwards. Will Arnett is like a drunk uncle but not drunk. Both nice. Tate McCrae is soo sweet! I felt her because we were only like 5/6 women backstage and she was the only female captain, also with an ex who is an NHL player so already has that "puck bunny" reputation, so her being there was cool to see. Her BF was also backstage, but I don't think the players knew it was her BF haha, a colleague and I noticed at least 15 of the guys walking up to her and chatting it up. Ones I remember that looked flirty are Sway, the Hughes (they talked throughout the whole weekend and they're all around the same age so may have been friendly but you know how men are), Elias Lindholm, Elias Petterson, & Mat Barzal. She obviously talked to a lot of people but these I remember looking more like them trying to get somewhere with her. Her and her BF are so cute though! He was very touchy with her. Saw her talking to Boone Jenner for a while, but he seemed just friendly. He is also her ex's teammate so wonder what that's about.

PLAYERS:

Auston Matthews is actually really charismatic. At one point the whole dressing room went quiet and we heard him singing "Baby" by Justin Bieber. We all cracked up haha. The Hughes brothers had a fight the first day, don't really know about what but Jack walked in upset and Quinn wouldn't even look at him. Both with their frowning RBF. McDavid had the same attitude as Hailey Bieber LOL. He softened up a bit when talking to other players but otherwise he is super cold always. Pasta and Travis Konecny also seemed to lowkey hate each other. Colleague told me Travis doesn't like Pasta at all but can't 100% confirm that as I didn't hear it directly, just an interesting rivalry. The Canucks players were like a group of mean girls, they literally stuck together the entire weekend, even if they were drafted to separate teams. Vincent Trocheck flirted his ASS off with several women, myself included. Found out later he was married. Swayman is truly a nice person, I think he and Boone Jenner were the only ones who said hi to the whole crew and also goodbye. Also saw him and Georgiev have a bro-hug after they lost the game and he said something to him that made him really laugh, it was very cute. The Hughes also seem to not like Suzuki, avoided him all weekend. Cale Makar is like a doll haha he is so awkward all the time and everytime he speaks his face looks like he immediately regrets it.

That's all at the top of my head, but if there's anything else you want to know LMK!

ahaha ty ty! i def have my biases when it comes to teams but i try pretty hard to keep it neutral and not give my biases away 😭 as for players i don't have any faves or rly think any are angels so i have no preconceptions there

omg there is so much to unpack here idek where to begin

justin bieber - he did seem so happy to be there the whole time lol he loves hockey and the leafs i think that was all 100% genuine! so sweet

hailey bieber - sounds abt right lol

michael bublé - lmaooooo tell me ur from vancouver without telling me ur from vancouver.... iconic he was so funny that whole weekend

tate mcrae - ya i forget her bf's name but i was aware he was there n they do seem v cute together! love all the wifed up guys chatting her up ahaha except barzy n petey they get a pass. another anon on here was telling me all the CBJ guys & wags liked tate a lot so doesn't surprise me that boone & her were friendly

hughes brothers - jack n quinn having a fight is soooo funny omfg i can't. also being bitchy towards suzuki like 😭 funny bc they're so tight w cole caufield (esp jack) n suzuki n cole are teammates and besties

mcdavid - you comparing mcdavid to hailey bieber is fucking sending me dsiofjdskghdfjklgh he is so awkward...

TK - TK having beef w pasta is soooo funny

canucks - canucks players "like a group of mean girls" i'm dying omfg 💀 lindholm was drafted to a separate team ya but he was only traded to the canucks like a few days before that so that was the first time they were really meeting him

trocheck - flirting his ass off with multiple women dsfknadslfkjgfng his kids were literally on the ice watching the skills comp w him that's soooo bad

swayman & jenner - being sweethearts aw that is nice to hear

cale makar - "like a doll" "awkward all the time" "every time he speaks his face looks like he immediately regrets it" perfect no notes!!!

[dross-the-fish]

First of all I just really want to say I absolutely LOVE your art and specially the way you draw Erik, Leroux-Erik my beloved 😭💕

Ok ANYWAY. I saw your posts discussing about Erik and how the Phandom portray him and Raou, and I really want to point out some of my views (in the healthiest and most polite way possible!!!)

I'm not trying to deny Erik's flaws nor that I have an obvious bias since he's my favorite character ever AAAND Raoul is a character I dislike a LOT for multiple reasons lol but, I want to adress that: Erik is a person that endured multiple ways of abuse and humiliation in his life, since he was a child. He has multiple scenes of trauma response and, as you pointed out your post, acts impulsively many times and also shows clear remorse for his actions. What I think separates him from Raoul is (aside from the obvious class diference and the fact that Erik has a whole history of trauma and evidences of mental illness) the fact that Erik learns something from his selfish, self-destructive behaviour. He *had* a chance to end up with Christine if he didn't so shitty with her, and this is very impactful in the end specially because Leroux didn't treat him as a villain who deserved punishment, but as a traumatized AND completely abandoned person who fucked up pretty bad

Obviously, despite my personal beef with Raoul, I don't think he's some sort of abusive devil or any shit like that. I just think Christine would be better at her own. Forgetting Erik's flaws for a minute — Raoul *is* very manipulative, childish and uncaring towards Christine. He, unlike Erik, doesn't learn from his mistakes and presents the same behavior until the end of the story. Idk my girl Christine could be better at her own, single, following her career. The fact that Raoul was born in a rich family in the 19th century and didn't face any of the poberty or struggles that lower-classed people like Daroga, Erik and Christine had also make his character waaaay more difficult to like in my point of view. I'm NOT SAYING THAT "being rich makes you evil" (duh) nor that Erik's actions are ok, just to be clear! It just bothers me how so many people treat Raoul like a saint little puppy and Erik as a monster, like COME ON

Now, back to Erik: I'm not saying you intended to mean that, but I have a huge problem with how part of the Phandom thinks Erik had malicious intentions when approaching Christine, or that his feelings for her are fake. The "Erik knew precisely what he was doing since the start" really makes sense considering how his redemption arc went in the novel. Obviously this changes a lot in many adaptations (for example he's clearly much more self-aware and manipulative in the musical). But Leroux-Erik *genuinely* believed he was doing the right thing. Maybe he had an idea of "uuuugh maybe this is pretty bad maybe i should stop" but the self-destructive-fear-of-abandoment-everything-is-fine voice spoke louder. Let's not forget that what turned Erik into having such a violent mental breakdown was not "Christine doesn't love me and I must punish her" bullshit, it was when he heard her speaking not so many cool things about him and his appearance at his back (NOT BLAMING OR HATING HER, I love Christine, I'm talking about Erik's pov). If Erik didn't love Christine, or if he was a monster, he wouldn't feel any guilty for his actions. The most impactful thing in the ending of POTO is that Erik realized he had treated the woman he loved like trash and even still she showed him the compassion he needed

Ok ending this long ass text, I just wanted to state that I agree with a lot of your points specially how the Phandom tends to summarize everything to black and white even though most of the characters are all morally grey. I wanted people to stop dehumanizing a mentally ill abuse survivor like Erik while also stop hating on a poor woman who never asked to be put into Raoul's or Erik's bullshit lol thanks for having the patience to read, I'm really curious to know what your thoughts about this are 💕💕💕

I appreciate your courtesy, I understand where you are coming from but there are a few points i'm not sure I fully agree with. While it is fair to depict Erik as traumatized or mentally ill, I feel these are ultimately reasons for his behavior, not justifications. I agree that he is a sympathetic character and his story is a tragic one, I also agree that Erik had a great capacity for good under better circumstances. Leroux says "he had a heart that could hold empires but had to content himself with a cellar," or something to that effect and I believe that's true. But some of Erik's behavior cannot be written off as impulse or trauma response. He was still an assassin who built torture chambers and even when no longer in Persia he still had a torture chamber in his home that he made use of. He has enough agency that he can still be held responsible for all of the death and destruction he caused even as we acknowledge that he doesn't enjoy killing and feels remorse. How he deals with his remorse in particular is a bit of a sticking point for me. Erik's consistent ability to willfully "forget" what he does or completely deny the severity of his crimes is very likely a product of guilt but the presence of guilt is not a sign of virtue and after awhile it starts to feel like he is first and foremost dodging accountability. He never feels guilty enough to stop and prefers instead to alleviate his internal discomfort by emotionally distance himself from his actions. I also think it's important to acknowledge that Erik is a villainous character and he is violent with Christine. He does try terrorize her and coerce her into marrying him by threatening to kill her and everyone else. To be honest that's why I like his redemption, because he actually NEEDS to be redeemed. You can't redeem a character that never fell from grace. If we can't hold him accountable for his choices and acknowledge the full harm he did then his redemption is hollow. On the subject of Raoul, Leroux tends to write him as being kind of young and stupid and most of his boorish behavior the product of youthful impulse and the older I get the more I'm inclined to agree. This doesn't make Raoul right or even necessarily likeable but if we're giving Erik grace based on the author's sentiments towards the character we should probably give some to Raoul as well. Ultimately I feel Raoul redeems himself by proving he's willing to die for Christine. He throws himself into mortal peril to save her because he does love her. Yes, he has a lot of privilege compared to other characters and it certainly contributes to him coming off spoiled and bratty at times but at the end of the day he and Christine do love each other and he is who she chose. I'll admit I sometimes feel compelled to defend Raoul even if he's not remotely close to my favorite character just because the fandom tends to over inflate his flaws and hold him to the worst faith interpretation while making every excuse under the sun for Erik. The phandom will go to great lengths to see nuance and humanity in Erik's behavior but not in Raoul's and, while I have my own character preferences and Erik is certainly my favorite by a long shot, I try to be fair and empathetic to ALL the characters in the story, whether I actually like them or not.

[velvetvexations]

It seems appealing, but until I was gifted a Steamdeck recently I couldn't play it and it's still quite expensive. Generally though I do prefer FPSs.

lmao right

1) A few people get called out for genuinely, undeniably heinous behavior, with receipts showing exactly what they're purported to show, loud and clear. Maybe they molested kids, maybe they started a cult, maybe it turned out that all their social justice talk was a smokescreen for hate recruiting, maybe they'd been catfishing for clout and profit, maybe they'd been trawling the site the callout is on for people to scam and abuse, maybe it's even more than one of the above. Whatever it is, it's unequivocally bad and SOMETHING has to be done and the systems at hand have sweet fuckall TO do about it, so a warning to the community it is! 1.5) People are primed to believe, when they see a callout post, that yes, what this person did was AWFUL. 2) People seeing that this works - and often genuinely but incorrectly believing that they have another equally bad case on their hands - start posting callouts about shit like friend drama (that wasn't a fight, it was ABUSE) or media taste (I heard he watched Dragon Maid, PEDO ALERT!!!) or consensual kinks (can you BELIEVE she misgendered another girl who asked her to??? Disgusting!). Most but not all of these target marginalized people, because of course it's easier to make a mountain of a molehill when people have a preexisting bias to believe it's a mountain (though contrary to popular current belief, it's usually not one specific group in particular). 3) People start fighting over the utility of callouts - some people believe these bits of nonevidence are TOTALLY proof of wrongdoing, others start to get alarm fatigued because surprise surprise, it's WAY harder to find people who are actually stealing and selling human bones, or lying about being HIV+ sex trafficking survivors for discourse cred, or starting entire cult houses, than it is to find...people who aren't perfect friends 100% of the time, or who like media that squicks you out; a few people still manage to fall somewhere in between. 4) Callouts fall off in frequency until someone does something SO heinous as to return us to step 1. I feel like we're kinda between steps 3 and 4 here, as a site at large - which, ironically, makes me all that much more suspicious when someone highlights a specific group as being the ONLY one targeted and harmed by fake callouts.

Eyyup.

Also, even callout posts that have legitimate grievances tend to do the Wendigoon thing where it's frontloaded with ridiculous bullshit before it gets to "also, this person murdered twelve women from 1999 to 2004." Like, why did I hear about how Vivziepop using voodoo aesthetic risked her staff being haunted to death by spirits before I heard she thinks non-binary people are faking being trans for attention?

I went into a restaurant to order some takeout while Original Mall Anon waited in the car, and when I went to get our sodas, there were these three preppy girls just...congregating there, taking up the space long after they'd finished getting their own, blocking anyone else from getting their drinks without asking them to move and, I shit you not, talking about buying shit from Hollister. Half of me, in the present, was like "okay. They're younger than me. I shouldn't be MEAN. This is a minor rudeness, I don't need to make a whole Thing of it." Half of me was violently removed from my body and de-aged to 15 because what the fuck, I was standing there, dark clothes, dyed hair, Hot Topic bag in hand, being treated like an annoying nonentity by a bunch of preppy girls who were acting like they fuckin owned the place, that was something I thought wasn't supposed to HAPPEN outside of high school and yet here I was, uh, catching up on missed experiences to a level I REALLY didn't expect to happen at a Wingstop.

God how I want some Wingstop. I love every part of this, anon. Perhaps your mall is truly unteathered from time and space.

It's completely mindless harassment without any real point and if they show up on one of your posts you should report them.

Hell yes.

Well, that's fucking stupid.

[horizon-verizon]

https://www.tumblr.com/evebestthinker/751366825102770176/the-way-he-looks-at-her-as-if-no-one-else?source=share

It's funny that their relationship is so romanticized. Whether by showrunners or even people in general.

Corlys and Rhaenys in the original material have a bigger age difference than Daemyra, yet no one talks about grooming.

Rhaenys, from what I remember, certainly chose Corlys, but Rhaenyra also chose Daemon and everyone prefers to say that she was groomed to want her sexy old uncle... 🙄

The fact is that, apart from this age difference, Corlys only wanted Rhaenys to be queen for her own person and the name of her house, let's be realistic. And in Fire and Blood, it was actually Laenor and not Rhaenys who was actually proposed to the throne with Viserys.

Unlike Daemon, Corlys has also always shown a genuine interest in the throne, whether in HOTD or Fire and Blood. This guy fights for power and always goes against his wife's wishes in general.

Yet they are supposedly a great relationship ? A great marriage of love ? A couple goal ? People's double standards are astounding to me.

I will add that Corlys, aged 60 in Fire and Blood, is having sex, from what I remember, with a girl under 16 or in that age range it seems to me. In any case, a close age that Rhaenys was when he married her at the time, showing that he has a type of age range for women, unlike Daemon who in Fire and Blood was with women of varying ages.

So basically the directors of HOTD said to themselves that Corlys and Rhaenys would make a superb love story ? WTF seriously ? They keep talking about Daemyra's age difference but obviously it's only a problem when it's them and not the others.

Actually, what I'm trying to say is that... most of the criticisms leveled at Daemon : Bad father, bad husbands, way too old for his ultimate wife, power-hungry, throne-seeking, loving the girls are rather young... Well it's actually Corlys who ticks all the boxes. Show and or Book.

Disclaimer: This is to note the discrepancy that fandom does when it tries to bring up age differences, how biased people are towards Daemon. You can look to la-pheacienne's notes about GRRM and age differences HERE, where we talk abt Doylist vs Watsonian readings of GRRM's storytelling and over age diff creepiness vs what story the dude is telling in-world.

It mimics how people will say "Targs are colonizers" and then they ignore what the Westerosi did to the giants and twstsote/children of the forest. There's a clear bias and lack of reading being done, because yeah I agree. Like, Corlys is an impressive man, but that has little to do with this conversation topic. (For all who don't know, Corlys was 37 when 16-yr old Rhaenys chose him as her husband; Rhaenyra was born in 97, Daemon in 81; RhaneysxCorlys has a 21 diff, Daemyra has a 16 diff)

In the show, it makes way less sense as to why Rhaenys & Corlys are together. I did a TikTok abt it, but here it is:

Rhaenys has constantly said that she considers a "good" leader AND [good] person to be one who goes out of their way to avoid violence, war, or great conflicts. Someone who takes measures to make sure their own actions do not lead to conflicts that may hurt even more than themselves. Even at the cost of one's own political advantages. She values what HotD has implied is "self-restraint" & defends Rhaenyra from Corlys' saying everything is her fault [specifically by reasoning that out of all the men who are there, Rhaenyra is the one who is trying to not go to war or any battle]. She is also supposed to care very much for her daughter, Laena, and her own grandchildren through her. Supposedly above Corlys' interests (episodes 6-7). Compare this to Corlys' self-interest evidenced by his pushing for a Velaryon-marriage through his 12 year old daughter & keeping Lucerys as his heir DESPITE the would-have-been-clear discontent from Vaemond abt the Driftmark succession PLUS how the Velaryon boys wete not his grandkids biologically AND Rhaenys advis[ing] him to name [their] granddaughters instead. With every value and action these two take for & against their family and against the other's desires….For what the HotD writers & whoever responsible wrote for these two…. Why do we believe that this ship is one of the best ones --or even makes logical sense-- to earn the reputation of being one of the best during this part of ASoIaF history?! The [show]relationship doesn't stand up on its own without the looks & performances of its actors. It also gets away with the nonsensical dynamic in two other things:

the constant defense of "two canons"

the many time jumps that remove any possibility for us or the writers to show us how these two actually like each other & continue to like each other

Once again, Daemon was never a good person, but he is also not what is depicted in HotD and grooming does not = DV. they are not the same, thus you do not have to include DV with grooming by saying it "eventually" happens with groomers. Espe when GRRM has a track record for just stating abuse when it happens (Jaehaerys with Alysanne, her pushed to keep giving birth; Robert Baratheon with Cersei):

[bi-hop]

faliiiiinnnnnnnn

Falin!

How I feel about this character: it's actually kinda funny upon further reflection that she's one of my favorite characters. because I reread dungeon meshi a lot (just random chapters) to try and absorb the dialogue and she's barely present? Obviously, she haunts the text, and chimera!Falin shows up pretty regularly, but her herself? barely there! mostly post-canon! she rocks though to be clear.

I think what I like most about her is how the person viewing her subtly shapes what we expect from her. I remember being somewhat surprised she was so cordial with her parents still, as Marcille was, because even though Laios acknowledged the possibility of her not being as strongly affected by their upbringing, I didn't actually believe that would be the case. I enjoy that all of her loved ones have these lens on that mean you do get to see Falin, but almost always through these curtains of bias first. I don't know what it means for me that part of why I like her is because of getting to peel back that curtain every so often. LMAO

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Farcille, for starters, which I won't dwell on. basically everyone loves it. LET'S TALK OTHER STUFF!!!!

if I had a nickel for every time I wrote Asivia falling for a lady despite being at Laios' court in post-canon presumably to 'try again', I'd have two nickels. this is becoming a funny trend. anyway won't mention the other fic but I have this general idea for Asivia having an interest in dragoness Falin that no one really picks up on because I like mess. I still don't really know if I want the interest to be reciprocated or not. but I think Asivia is neat. I support women trying to get money out of guys, even if said guy is my fave. enough about Laios though. in terms of attraction, I think it's mostly a matter of beauty and power as the starting point. that might sound not genuine, but I think the draw of the power part of Falin is a fascination with the freedom she now represents and embodies. I dunno though, I've basically invented Asivia in my head.

there's also Rin, which I can only express this way

no one sees my vision though

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Laios (I wish good big brothers were real) of course. Marcille also. I think those are the main ones. That isn't to diminish her bond with any other character, just OTP is a big weighty term to me and those are the dynamics I've dwelled on the most. I should change that though bc Chilchuck calling her strange (if I recall right) in his relationship map (or hers?) was funny to me. you did all that for a girl you think is weird? aight, grump grump

My unpopular opinion about this character: she should have killed more people actually-

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: my dream... my sole dream... is a random ass bonus thing that's 'Falin's traveling journal' a la Senshi's journal and we get to see countries in the dungeon meshi world that weren't named and life is good. life is so good. my final message. gootbye

[pooopopop]

You have a very clear, very intentional negative bias against Misha, and Vicki. Of course you’re going to see certain situations and twist them to fit your narrative, often seemingly taking away the agency of the others involved, including (but not limited to) the fans he met at a club (nearly 8 years ago) who were consenting adults.

Regardless, Misha doesn’t have a record of anything with fans — beyond being open and genuine and giving with his time and self. Oh, and apparently the kind of behavior from those who might as well call themselves fans since they’re so obsessed with his every life detail and trying to paint him in a bad light for merely existing differently.

He wouldn’t be as popular as he is, have the stellar reputation in the industry that he does, or have the many fan-beloved close friends he has (Jensen, Jared, their wives etc) if he was truly the horrible person some people seem to wish him to be.

He doesn’t have a stellar reputation but the things he’s guilty of aren’t things that the people around him have any problem with. Misha told a story about Vicki pissing on the side of the street next to a strip club and yelling at the people walking around them “don’t go in there, I’ll show you for free!” While exposing herself and that is enough to be arrested and charged as a sex offender in literally every state. The girls who were at that club and he made out with and tried to hook up with were over 18 yes but they were only 19, teenagers who weren’t old enough to drink legally but we’re drunk by their own admission. Misha is well aware of how little it takes to be black out drunk because his cute little story about hooking up with Vicki for the first time was when they were both black out drunk as teenagers, and she had bruises all over her thighs but neither of them could remember how it happened.

i don’t think being friends with Jared and jensen means anything for his character. Jensen said that he would want Benny to return recently but the actor that played Benny got drunk and made out with people in the audience at the first convention he went to. Rich denied giving him real alcohol so ty accused the fangirls of roofing him. I don’t trust Rich either though because there is there is another fan photo with misha we’re these girls were saying that they found him with Rich at a gay bar, and Vicki’s book gives gay bars as a suggestion to go prowling for the perfect hookups because queer people are more willing to play with the straighties. Everybody is so supportive and cutesy about Rob and Ruth’s relationship but the first photos/videos we have of them where they were looking like a couple was from before Rob got a divorce. Misha’s poetry book talks about being a married man who pursues other women and the title of the book is named for the poem that describes lying to his wife after they both congratulate themselves for being honest with one another. He literally romanticizes cheating on her, doesn’t that sound scummy?

jim beaver is probably the only person that I have any trust in. He posted his condolences after misha said that he got mugged and then deleted that once everyone showed what he was actually doing that night. It makes total sense to me because I just posted two other videos where he is clearly drunk and the fan described him as smelling heavily of booze.

[gladiolidiaries]

Long rant incoming

It Sucks because it’s clear why they are doing this. Like it’s very clear dnf have something besides a normal friendship going on. I’m sorry but at this point it’s just true. These people are clinging to any minute thing they can to prove otherwise because for some reason they want this narrative of dream being a queerbaiter sexting multiple women at once constantly to be true. Like I’m sorry but dream being single and talking to women doesn’t make him the predator they want him to be. And I genuinely think he hasn’t done that in around a year at least. People need to leave these girls alone and stop dragging them in to try and fit your narrative you created about dream. Conformation bias is a real thing. They want something to be true so they will make shit that means nothing into proof. This fucking sucks. And people are stupid and buy it hook line and sinker

i mean i always preface with saying that i consider myself delusional. but my delusion is telling me that something is going on between dnf and i feel like even an outsider would agree if they were to see how dnf are acting together lately.

just thinking about that moment in bad's stream when george was asked which streamer he would date. like fuck that moment was so telling and obvious to me 😭 i don't think dnf are labelling what's going on and probably won't for a while but there is something there.

[astralsweetness]

Hii it's me again!! I've been really busy with college and stuff, but how are you?? really hope you're doing fine 💕

Also I have a question for you, do you have an ult bias? and an ult group?

Hi omg - sorry for vanishing off the face of the earth, I hope that didn’t scare you away 😭 Likewise, I was busy with college - it was right before finals, and then it WAS finals, and I was out here trying to write a research proposal in a week while dealing with other tests lmao. I felt swamped. (And then I got on a new medication that destroyed me for a bit… anyway! I’m back now lol). I hope you’re managing to make it through as well! 🤍

I put the rest under a read more bcs I got rambly lol

As for ults, yes, of course I do! My ult group was originally a group called “History” - a group of men who were all much older than was normal for an idol group to be. For comparison here, they debuted a year before BTS but their youngest member was the same age as one of BTS’s older members. They got massively fucked over by their company (the company disbanded them while their leader was in the military, and didn’t tell him - he found out when he did an internet search of his group that they were disbanded). I think, genuinely and in retrospect, not disbanding them would have just been delaying the inevitable though. The staff was constantly breaking into their studios and destroying their work, I think some of the members were starting to have conflict with one another under the immense pressure the company was putting them through, they were constantly getting injured (one of them literally fell and broke their wrist into the microphone during a music show performance and he had to take himself to the hospital and pay for the treatment himself) or were being forced to starve/dehydrate themselves, and they were also constantly ridiculed (one member was told he was literally only good for his singing voice, one member would literally not get lines in entire songs that already didn’t have choreo, so he’d just stand their while the others sang, etc).

But, also, they were my ult group and they disbanded days before my graduation and it devastated me in ways only things like this can lol. It’s been.. god, seven years now? So I can look back on the time fondly without as much pain anymore. Plus, I genuinely think all the members are much happier now - one got married and has a one year old baby girl, one finally disappeared from social media after getting a girlfriend, one is a prolific producer for BigHit/HYBE, etc. I’m happy for them. Proud of who they’ve.. not grown into, since they were already grown, but proud that they’re finally doing things that being an idol kept them from.

Anyway! They were my ult group for.. a long time. But they’ve been disbanded for so long now, I don’t really know if I can consider them my ult anymore. Pentagon is definitely sitting in that position now, if it’s open - they’re a very different type of group when compared to History, more familial, more ride or die with one another.

Seventeen is similar to them - familial and will also always have a special place in my heart, even if I don’t talk about them as much anymore. They’re who I initially made this blog for, after all.

I guess, in a way, they’re both my ult groups now. I don't know, after History, it's hard to pick a group as my "ult" lol.

As for ult bias.. yep as well! Originally it was a History member, but I went through a rough patch and no longer feel as.. comfortable, with the idea of him anymore. Just to be clear, he did nothing wrong haha. It's all on me.

My current ult is an idol I'm a bit wary to mention, because they seem to be very divisive in places. So I'll just leave it at that!

Honorable mentions to Tei and Woozi! I don't think Tei counts as an idol, but he's a Korean singer I've always adored and loved to listen to. People who can sing ballads as well as rock masterfully own my heart haha. And Jihoon, I mean.. come on. I love him haha.

[monmuses]

nurturing-starlight​:

Nimue didn’t mean to make things awkward if that was the case, but she found it very difficult to communicate with people often. Not because she wanted to be like that, but because it was genuinely difficult nor did she make much effort to communicate outside of the group of friends she had already.

There’s at least a small smile as Bebe mentions being friends with Kenny of all people. At the very least, she knew Kenny tried to keep decent company, Cartman not included. That one was out of pity and he made it very clear. There’s a bit of a relief as she takes a deep breath. Okay. This was a start for something right?

“He seems to be quite popular when it comes to making friends from the sound of it. I don’t know too much about him, but he’s nice to talk to. I think he’s closer to Damien than he is with me, but that’s fine. Sometimes I do annoy him at times but that’s uh, maybe best not to talk about it.” Especially since it’d be weird to talk about the fact the two of them are still at the hero and villain stuff.

Chewing on her lip, she’s not sure if she should say anything. Would Bebe even believe her? Tapping her fingers together, she looks around to make sure nobody else is listening and speaks quietly. “I’m uh… actually the one people refer to as Kalypso. I uh.. accidentally caused Scott to become really popular too. I hadn’t intended to, but I didn’t expect the two of to get caught together while I was working either.”

     “He’s a pretty sweet guy! Way better than some of the other guys here, if I’m gonna be honest.” A finger rested against her cheek, chuckling at that mention. It was just partial bias since she had been friends with him for a little while. Though, Bebe never tried to brag about it, but was pretty proud that he had one decent guy friend to go to when she needed to talk about something on her mind.

     Though, at the mention of who she was online, Bebe’s eyes seemed to sparkle for a moment. She did hear about ‘Kalypso’ before, to which she quickly pulled out her phone and looked up the name, putting a picture on the screen and holding up a side-by-side comparison. Immediately, she believed it with a soft but excited squeal.

     “So, that is you! I have seen you before!” She spoke in an excited whisper. “I never thought it would be you! Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. A girl’s promise from me to you.” Quickly, she made a “zipping” motion across her lips to confirm that. “I always wondered how Scott got so popular so fast! It’s good for him though. He’s a cute kid! But oh my gosh, that’s so cool! How long have you been doing this? I gotta know!”

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

new team - shoyo hinata

shoyo hinata x fem!reader

summary: you teach hinata some skills in middle school and to pay you back, he guarantees you a spot on the karasuno volleyball team.

warnings: NONE VERY FLUFFY

word count: 1,737

notes: i rlly rlly liked writing this bc i love my boy hinata and this just flowed so naturally and i’m rlly proud of it :’)

i also usually write gender neutral reader bc i’m nb and i wanna cater to as many ppl as possible and make them feel valid, but it was kinda necessary to the story for reader to be fem in this one

********************

after setting a ball to your friend, you noticed a short boy by himself in the corner of the gym with bright orange hair, setting and receiving against the wall. you made your way over to him, observing that he actually wasn’t too bad.

“oi, redhead,” you called out playfully. he turned around with a look of confusion on his face, as if to say ‘me?’ “yeah you. i couldn’t help but notice you’re playing all by your lonesome over here. any particular reason for that?”

his cheeks tinged pink at the callout, but he responded nonetheless. “w-well there’s not enough boys for the school to create a boys volleyball club, so i’m trying to get as many hours of practice in at school as i can.”

you nodded in recognition of his situation. “well, sorry to say you won’t get very far if the wall is your only opponent. but you’re certainly welcome to practice with me when my practice is over. if you’re interested, of course.”

“woah, really? you’d do that for me?” he asked in astonishment, eyes going wide as saucers.

“of course i would. i may not know much about you, but i can tell you have a passion for the sport, and it’d be a real shame for that to fizzle out,” you smiled genuinely. “i’ll help you practice...”

it took him a moment to realize you were waiting for his name. “oh! hinata! shoyo hinata.” he introduced.

“well shoyo hinata, i’m y/n l/n and i look forward to practicing with you.” you grinned. a whistle blew behind you, pulling you from your conversation with the boy. “sorry, i’ll see you later!”

sure enough, you found him waiting out by the baseball field, spinning a volleyball in his palm. after a short while of practicing, you realized you had underestimated this kid and the power he can pack in his spikes. it was clear he needed to improve in his receives, but he was in remarkably good shape for playing against a wall every week.

the two of you quickly became good friends, shoyo becoming your number one supporter - aside from your parents, of course. he attended all your games, cheering obnoxiously loud when it was your turn to serve.

over the summer from 8th to 9th grade however, the two of you didn’t see each other nearly as often as you used to. you had to admit it made you sad; the sweet redheaded boy had carved a special spot in your heart and you missed him dearly.

you attended karasuno high school, hoping to join the girls volleyball club and make some new friends. upon examining the club applications, much to your dismay, it appeared that such a club didn’t exist.

volleyball was your passion, and it hurt that you had no way of pursuing it anymore.

hanging your head in defeat and crumpling up the paper, you heard footsteps approaching rapidly from in front of you. before you could look up, a body suddenly collided with you, nearly knocking you over with the momentum they had built up.

“y/n!” a familiar voice cried out. you quickly realized the voice belonged to hinata, who’s arms were currently wrapped around you.

“hinata! i can’t believe you go to school here! i’ve missed you so much!” you squealed, hugging him back.

he pulled away, a look of surprise on his face. “are you kidding? i can’t believe you go to school here! you oughta be wherever the best girls volleyball club is! speaking of that, have you joined yet?”

you glanced down to the crumpled paper that still pressed against your palm. “well that’s the thing, it’s not even a choice on the club application form. unfortunately, i don’t think karasuno has one.”

shoyo gasped dramatically, jaw falling open in shock. “so what are you gonna do? you can’t just not play anymore, you’re so good!”

you smiled at the compliment from the boy, but your expression grew sadder. “thanks, shoyo, but i’m not sure what i can do. this seems like it’s out of my hands.”

a look of determination painted his features as he grabbed you by the shoulders. “no, i’m not gonna let this happen to you. don’t worry, y/n, i’ll find a way for you to play.”

he ran off, leaving you alone with your thoughts in the deserted hallway.

despite having absolutely no idea what he was planning, you trusted the boy. you knew he had your best interests at heart and would do anything to help you succeed, and you adored him for that. you just hoped whatever method he had to allow you to play wasn’t too embarrassing for you; you weren’t too keen on begging some team to let you play for them, but you had a feeling hinata’s plan wouldn’t involve that.

——————————

“please?” hinata begged.

“a girl? join the team? i don’t know hinata, you’d have to run it by the coach.” daichi uttered hesitantly.

“but you’re the captain, daichi, you have the final say!” he reminded him.

daichi sighed. “yeah, you’re right. what’s so special about this girl?”

he watched as hinata’s eyes lit up in excitement when he spoke about her. “well she was the setter in middle school, but that was only because no one else was good enough to play that position. she’s really versatile and she taught me practically everything i know about spiking! she’s also got some mean overhand serving skills; she’d be a great addition to the team! please, daichi, pretty please?”

he looked down at the boy to see him glancing up with a pair of puppy eyes, intent on winning him over. daichi felt he was powerless to do anything but give in, though his description of you did sound pretty great if he was being honest.

“alright, i’ll talk to the coach and see what he thinks. bring her to our next practice and introduce her to everyone.” he said, not missing the bright grin that donned the redhead’s face at his words.

“thank you so much, sir! you won’t regret it, i promise!” he ran back towards the basket of balls to practice serving once more.

——————————

“where are you taking me, shoyo?” you muttered. “can you take your hands off yet?”

he had cornered you back in the main building, insisting you accompany him to some unknown destination he had in mind. since then, he had been walking directly behind you, his hands covering your eyes.

“i’ll show you...” he waited until you took a few more steps. “now!”

you blinked your eyes open to find yourself outside of the gym building. “the gym? what are we doing here, hinata?”

you turned to him and he grinned. “volleyball practice is about to start.”

“volleyball - as in boys volleyball? what am i doing here? am i here to watch you practice?”

he donned a soft smile at your confusion. “no, you’re gonna practice.”

your eyes widened. “i am? i don’t even have any athletic clothes, shoyo, i just have my uniform!”

“i wouldn’t worry too much about that today,” he pushed you towards the doors. “i’ll just be introducing you to everyone today.”

“introducing...? what is going on here, hinata?” you questioned. he pushed the door open to reveal a large group of mostly tall boys, all staring down at you.

most of them looked friendly and approachable, but several of them looked rather intimidating. “everyone, this is y/n. y/n, this is your new team.” shoyo announced.

you gasped, turning towards hinata. “m-my new team? you got me a spot on the team?”

the look of gratitude in your eyes had him blushing a bright pink and he scratched the back of his head nervously. “it was nothing, really. y-”

he was cut off as you hugged him tightly, thanking him for allowing you to continue the sport you loved. “you don’t have to thank me, it’s not a huge deal or anything.”

“are you kidding? it’s a huge deal! i can’t believe you did this for me!” your smile nearly reached your ears.

he walked you around the gym, introducing you to his teammates. sugawara and asahi were incredibly sweet, even offering to set you a few balls to test your spiking abilities, though you declined since you were still wearing a skirt.

the intimidating one you saw earlier - tsukkishima, you had learned - was not as sweet as the others you had met and seemed rather distant, though you hoped that would fade as you got to know him.

tanaka and nishinoya were full of energy and practically gushing over you even though they hadn’t yet witnessed your abilities.

the one shoyo introduced as kageyama shot you a nasty glare. “what position did you play?”

“setter,” you murmured, slightly on edge from the look of intensity in his eyes. that intensity morphed into fury after your words, intimidating you further.

you quickly remembered this was the incredible setter hinata had mentioned several times before. “o-oh! don’t worry, i don’t plan on taking your spot or anything, i’m sure you’re far better than i am!”

“good.” you smiled at him nervously. “if you’re good enough, maybe i’ll send you a couple sets.”

and of course you met daichi, the captain to whom you owed your spot on this team. he was very friendly and personable and you suspected he was the type to give inspirational speeches before games.

kageyama pulled hinata aside, practicing quick attacks with him, leaving you with daichi.

“hinata talks about you quite a bit, y’know,” daichi murmured, catching your attention.

“he does?” you queried. “all good things, i hope.”

the captain smiled down at you. “he speaks very highly about you and your skills. i think he’s got a bit of a bias since you taught him what he knows, but i don’t doubt you’ll really prove yourself on the court.”

your eyes went wide at the faith he already had in you, despite never seeing you play. “thank you, daichi, that really means a lot.”

the boys divided themselves into teams, starting a practice match as you and daichi observed from the sidelines. your eyes found hinata in the back row, who gave you a wide grin and a wave.

you waved back, your heart warming at the gesture. you had only just met the boys, but you couldn’t wait for the next practice.

********************

i might make this a series? maybe?? maybe not?? idk but let me know what u think :D

tags: @aestosia​ @elysianslove​

not working: @akaashis-keiji @bloodydestiney 

[enixamyram]

My Ranking Of Naruto's Next Gen Characters

1. Shinki - I immediately had a soft spot for Shinki because he's Gaara's son and because I'm a sucker for adopted relationships. But since then I really do like him as his own character. The more I see of him the more interested I am. I really hope they do some kind of arc about his past and where he came from and I hope it lives up to the anticipation I have built waiting for it.

2. Himawari - A totally cutie, she's just such a sweet and fun character, the exact kind of thing I like most about this series. I also enjoy the fact that she's a natural with her byakugan and she's definitely one of those who I can't wait to see what she'll be like as she grows older. I hope she'll become a strong Shinobi but without losing her sweet soft hearted side.

3. Wasabi - Honestly I love any character that has some kind of cat-like affinity and Wasabi is no exception. That said, like Shinki, this may have been what drew me in at first but the more I see of her, the more I enjoy in general. Her being an original character also helps and even if she doesn't have a big story of her own, I enjoy the little ones all the same.

4. Sarada - Proof not all my favourites are bias because of their parents! I do not enjoy Sasuke or Sakura's characters at all, but Sarada is really growing on me! I find her quite entertaining, as someone who works hard to become strong rather than just being a natural, and even if Hokage is a pretty cliché goal at this point, it's still nice to see a female character with a desire that has nothing to do with a cute boy in her class.

5. Yodo - This ones a bit of a cheat because we really don't know that much about her. But from what we do know, I really adore her. I love her design and there are really nice little moments for her. I like that she seems to be the friendliest of the Team Shinki group, being the only one to really talk to others in a easy going way.

6. Araya - Again, another slight cheat for similar reasons but I have a soft spot for Suna characters. That and I find it sweet that Araya suffers from anxiety and leans on his friends (like Shinki) in order to stay calm and focus on the fight.

5. Inojin - And we're back to my usual bias because let's face it, a lot of my love for Inojin is that he's Ino's son, haha! Still, I wouldn't like a character for that reason alone and I do find Inojin to be entertaining. He has some really nice episodes and I don't believe anyone who wasn't at least a little moved by Akkun's death!

8. Sumire - She started off a pretty typical background character that I had no feelings for. She was the kind that was just there. Then they gave her an interesting backstory and villain arc and she definitely grew on me. I feel like there's room to develop her more but as she is, she's still fun to watch.

9. Metal - While his design is one of the most unoriginal (it's not even funny how much of an obvious clone he is of his dad), I actually really like that he has an opposite personality to him. I wouldn't mind seeing him build more as his own character but the parts we have seen have been interesting and I feel genuine sympathy for the poor kid a lot of the time.

10. Shikadai - He's just behind Metal in most unoriginal design. And that wouldn't actually bother me too much but he's got too much of his fathers personality as well. While I don't hate the character, I have no interest in him either since it's clear the show is just copying Shikamaru in most ways. Maybe if the series does something big and different to surprise the audience with him then he could earn a higher place but at the moment my biggest interest in him is that he's related to Gaara and Shinki.

11. Boruto - While he definitely has a lot of negative traits, I don't dislike him all that much. Even if I don't agree, I can understand why he feels and acts the way he does. Most of my dislike is an entirely personal issue. I just don't enjoy his random devotion to Sasuke (and not just because I dislike Sasuke) and I just generally do not find him to be an eye catching main character. I'd much rather watch the other characters.

12. Chocho - Again, not necessarily a bad character. I like her design and I enjoy some moments of her. But I'm also very much put off by her personality. I just don't like those kind of girls so every time Chocho get's into one of her big headed speeches, I need to skip and move on. That being said, I still like her friendship with Sarada and enjoy watching her fight at the same time.

13. Iwabee - An interesting enough character, but simply not one I'm interested in. This is a funny one because by all means there is nothing at all wrong with him, but I still just don't care for him either way. The only scenes of his I really enjoy also involve characters I'm much more interested in.

13. Namida - I've conflicting feelings about this young girl. I actually liked that episode where she took a seemingly useless and problematic power (her crying/scream) and showed she can turn it into a powerful weapon with training. It was a really good episode and I adore her relationship with Wasabi. However apart from those two particular things, nothing else about her stands out and she's not really interested me any more than that.

14. Denki - Honestly the most boring original character. He's not necessarily that bad, but he's kind of a cliché in my eyes and I just don't find anything about him interesting at all. And it's not like Iwabee who I can live with or without, but rather I skip his scenes altogether.

15. Mitsuki - I just don't like him. Not only does he act just like Sai (without even the excuse of being related to Sai) but I've never liked the character who idolizes another this much. I especially do not like it when I feel the series doesn't even give a good enough reason for them to idolize them. Maybe if they had built the friendship between Mitsuki and Boruto, I might feel different but as it is, I generally roll my eyes whenever he's on screen.

[lovetenya]

𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐲𝐚 𝐢𝐢𝐝𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐜𝐬 (𝟐)

pairing: tenya iida x gn! reader

warnings: a couple of swear words. nobody’s angry or swearing at each other.

word count: 1.5k. i’d count it as a oneshot if it was more organized. :)

author’s note: thank you so much for the love on my work! your reblogs and comments make me so happy!! this one isn’t extremely romantic, but there is some fluffy reassurance. tenya deserves so much more love than he gets.

click on the star to read part one -> ✧

Dating Iida Tenya would ALSO include...

Tenya facetiming you to tell you all about the book he’s reading and to help with homework when you can’t be together 

He’s so passionate about his books! I mean, I hope so, because he has so many of them and I can totally see him thinking reading is a “worthy” hobby because it’s productive and “intellectually challenging”

Tenya: “I can’t believe the main character dies! That very rarely happens in literature! I wonder if the author was trying to say something about...”

If you’re not as much of a reader as he is, please act interested and show him you care what he’s talking about!!! He thrives on genuine interest because he’s familiar with being used for homework answers!! (more on that later)

If you thought his nerd rambles were bad, get ready for literary nerd rambles!!! They’re so much better!! (or worse, if you’re a hater)

He will proofread every single essay you write and read draft after draft and never complain

“Hm... I see where you were trying to go with this point, but your line of reasoning needs work.” 

“Is this claim evidence based? You really shouldn’t make assumptions without studying the bias the researchers may have possessed when gathering the data. It’s really easy to use the same statistics to prove two sides of the same argument and you shouldn’t--”

“Tenya, it’s a worksheet. It’s worth five points.”

“Even so! You should always put forth your best effort!”

He will offer his help, but vehemently insist that he’s not going to just give you the answers. No, you don’t get a break just because you’re his s/o. You’ve still gotta work for your grades.

He’ll make sure you’re the one figuring it out. (He wants you to succeed, duh. What kind of class representative would he be if he enabled academic dishonesty???)(A bad one)

People seem to forget that he tried to kill someone, had a sword driven through his shoulder and never really regained full control over his arm. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s confirmed that Iidas have to rip out their mufflers in order to grow new, stronger ones? That’s so scary? I think we should discuss this more. The man is a badass. He called Midoriya the famous “Mr. House Arrest” and called Bakugo a cretin??? He deserves so much more credit for his sassiness than he gets credit for. Just let him be a bossy legend, alright?

He would snap at you to start focusing when you’re studying together 

Don’t get me wrong, he likes you a whole lot, but he also cannot stand being behind on lessons and is not gonna let someone get between him and his hard earned A+++s

He doesn’t like to be together in the common room because he doesn’t like to be teased about the relationship he’s very proud of but very protective over

You’re both surprised you manage to juggle your hectic lives, but it just makes every moment more special

So you usually end up sneaking into his dorm room while he’s making rounds making sure everyone is safe in their rooms. 

(Okay so, I lied. This is the exception to the rule of ‘you don’t get breaks’. This time, he lets it (you) slide.)

He doesn’t want to be a bad role model for the others and give them any ideas, but he also doesn’t want to be a hypocrite

So if he were to see one of his classmates sneaking into someone’s dorm…. No he didn’t. 

He’s the kind of person that doesn’t care what his classmates do as long as they’re being safe. He’s not interested in the details. 

You often end up cuddled up in his bed under his blankets <3

His laptop sits on his lap and he’d put on a documentary, probably

He would ask you whether you came to talk or to watch the movie if you asked too many questions during it HAHA

“Why are you asking me about this? Haven’t you read chapter 9 in our science textbook? It gives a clear description of--”

“Dude. We’re on chapter four. How and more importantly, WHY are you so far ahead???”

“I was bored and wanted to be productive instead of letting my brain rot from idleness…”

“Oh my god. You’re such a nerd.”

He sticks out his tongue at you and pushes his glasses further up his nose at this blasphemous suggestion.

He’d pick up (or help cook) dinner beforehand so you don’t have to leave the room and risk being discovered!! (Even though literally nobody would snitch, he still doesn’t want to break the rules further than what he’s already guilty of)

I have a feeling he really like classic movies too and when you watch them together he’ll explain how they did all of the stunts or the special effects

He’d know every single word to a movie and would DEFINITELY recite his favorite parts dramatically, while still trying to make as little noise as possible

He’d do god-awful impressions and his silly exaggerated choppy hands to make you laugh

You love that it’s a side of him that nobody else gets to see because he doesn’t have very many opportunities to let loose and be a normal teenage boy

It’s just simple fun and it’s sweet to be there with him and to see him like this, especially when he goes into theatrical mode for his bedroom performances

Again, I’m mentioning the fact that a sword was driven through his shoulder and he allowed the injury to remain untreated because he wanted to have a reminder that he stood for something once. 

He had every opportunity to just have Recovery Girl kiss it better, but he’s too determined to be the best version of himself possible. He won’t forget the battles he fought to bring him to his inevitable victory.

Since his arms never returned to full capacity and he’s still in the beginning stages of recovery, his hand and arm cramp sometimes. He’s not one to complain about his pain, so you might have to pay attention to catch the way he hesitates to grab things sometimes, or how he flinches when he twists his arm the wrong way. 

He would never ask you to give him a massage, but if you did, he would be so grateful for the way your fingers seem to ease the knots of burning muscle. His muscles feel like corded steel underneath your hands, but they’re still extremely sensitive to touch.

He needs those gentle touches to remind him that he isn’t any weaker than anybody else just because he’s in pain. If anything, he’s stronger, because he’s living and succeeding through the pain that nobody else has. He hasn’t succumbed to the pain and he never will.

Everyone gets insecure sometimes, even Tenya Iida.

He needs reassurance sometimes that his classmates respect him and don’t hang out with him as a joke.

He just wants what’s best for them and doesn’t want them to think he’s being a hard ass for no reason or that he bosses them around for the hell of it

One day, you’re studying together and he’s visibly upset. You don’t want to press him though because if he wants to talk about it, he will. He does. 

He starts, “Do you think.. No, nevermind.”

You: “What was that?”

“No. It’s silly, really.”

“Please, Tenya, tell me what’s wrong.”

He sighs, knowing it’s no use holding it in. He hesitates, uncharacteristically nervous. 

He’s usually so sure of himself. This is weird, you think.

He says, “Do you think our classmates like me?”

“Like you? Why wouldn’t they like you?”

“Well, I’m not sure. Do you think they see me as a friend? Or just as their class representative?”

“Of course they see you as a friend, honey. For example.. you and I always hang out with Izuku, Ochaco, and Shoto! We’re all still classmates even if we’re always trying to one-up each other!”

With a raised eyebrow, he asks “You don’t think they just like me because I help them with their homework?”

“No way, Tenya. I’m sure they really like you for you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Well, they talk about you when you’re not around--”

He blurts, “Really? What do they say?”

“All good things, nothing to worry about at all.” He lets out a breath at this (phew!) You continue, “They talk about how responsible you are--”

“They do not!” He sends a glare, but there isn’t any malice behind his eyes.

“No really! They do! They all admire you so much and they all wish they were as respected as you are!”

“Respected?”

“Yes, Tenya. They respect you.”

“Then why do they make fun of me so much? Just because I’m responsible doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.”

“I know. They tease you because they’re your friends and it’s funny when you snap back at them. They’re trying to get you to lighten up a little.”

“Oh. They think I’m funny?”

“They sure do.”

“Hm…”

“I promise, honey. Your classmates like you, your friends like you, and everyone likes being around you. You’re more than just “a pleasure to have in class”, you know. And I’m not just saying that because I’m biased.”

“Thank you, my love. That made me feel a lot better.”

“Oh, good. Can I hug you now?”

“Yes, please.”

He pulls you into a hug and you both hum, content in each other’s warm embrace. You can’t help but softly smile.

thank you for reading! love, TJ ✮

link to my masterlist

[ladyloveandjustice]

Belated Spring 2020 Anime Overview: My Next Life as Villainess

For the Spring 2020 anime season, I mostly watched continuations of shows I was already into. The one new show I did pick up was My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! follows Katerina Claes, a spoiled young noble girl deviously scheming to win the heart of a prince- oh wait, never mind, she hit her head and remembered her past life! Turns out she’s an eighteen year old Japanese otaku chick who died and got reincarnated as the villainess in her favorite otome game. 

If you don’t feel like reading the wiki article, an otome game is basically a female- targeted dating sim where you play as a blank slate main character and date a bunch of pretty boys (and sometimes girls, but usually only if you go outside the mainstream ones), unlocking their backstories and collecting all the romantic endings.

Having played this game, Katarina is well aware that the Villainess character- who constantly tries to interfere with the game’s heroine and whichever boy she’s pursuing- is either exiled or killed in all of the games endings. And now she IS that villainess, living in the world of the game and all its characters! Does that mean she’s doomed to a horrible fate? What’s a girl to do?

Well, if you’re Katarina, what you do is be supportive and kind to the people around you and in doing so accidentally get every single character in the game to fall in love with you. And yes, this includes all the boys the heroine is supposed to date, the other female romantic rivals the heroine is faced with and the game’s heroine herself.

That’s right, we finally got us some bisexual romantic comedy hijinx last anime season, my friends! My Next Life as a Villainess was the delightful little show I really escaped into during these anxious pandemic times . All these girls casually falling in love with Katarina without it being treated as ‘weird’ was what particularly drew me to this show and warmed my gay little heart to see. It was honestly the perfect fluffy, low stress watch during these high stress times.

Anime has long been oversaturated with ‘harem’ stories- where a usually unwitting protagonist somehow gets a bevy of beauties in love with them- but it’s still unfortunately really unusual to see bisexual harems, especially ones with a girl at the center, so right away there’s a big draw to this story that helps it stick out from the rest.  (And worry not, the story is largely focused on Katarina having fun with these pals-who-are-not-so-secretly-in-love-with-her, rather than having a ton the dubious shenanigans you see in more sexually charged tales.)

Harem protoganists also famously tend to have the personality of potatoes, being so painfully bland it’s unclear why so many people would fall in love with them in the first place. But that definitely not the case for Katarina. She’s brash, ridiculous, kind and INCREDIBLY dense, and that for a pretty dynamic combination in this setting! She does genuinely come off as a fun person to be around. Unlike a lot of modern isekai shows, she doesn’t stumble into having incredible magic powers or skills, so her compassion is genuinely her greatest strength and what saves the day and wins hearts time and time again.

Katarina’s five brain cells doing their weekly check-in

(The moment she won my heart was when she responded to a tragic Frozen style situation with her friend locking himself away from people because he believed his magic was dangerous by taking an axe to his door. My kinda girl!)

The premise also allows for some plausible built-in reasons for the characters to take such special notice of Katarina- having been raised in a different world, she isn’t beholden to all the social rules, class divisions and noble family drama all the other kids in this very specific midevial-esque fantasy world are so embroiled in. This combined with her naturally earnest, accepting and straightfoward nature means she’s able to cross boundaries and reach out to them in a way they aren’t accustomed to. She was significant in each character’s life because she genuinely was the first to show them acceptance and affection without pretense, if only because she isn’t even aware there was supposed to be a pretense.

Katarina’s focus on trying not to die and her fear she’s going to meet the same fate as the villainess in the game also at least gives some kind of a basis to her comical obliviousness to everyone being in love with her. She assumes that everyone has to be into Maria (the heroine) and terrified of her because that’s how the game GOES okay, that’s CANON! Of course, this logic stretches thin as time goes on and it would be abundantly clear to most people that things have diverged greatly from the game’s storyline, but the show makes it clear that Katarina’s determined, one track mind is as much a gift as a curse. 

Her bullheadedness when it comes to picking up how everyone REALLY feels about her is an intentional gag on the show’s part and even her love interests are well aware of what a colossal dumbass she is and not afraid to point it out!

My Next Life as a Villainess isn’t without its flaws, and the personalities/backstories of some of the ‘love interests’ Katarina gathers may be a stumbling block on some- mostly the male ones.  Geordo, “the black hearted prince” has a bit of the “ possessive shoujo bad boy” archetype about him, and though he’s far from the worst that genre of love interest has to offer (there’s not much bad he can get up to due to Katarina’s obliviousness, the lighthearted nature of the show, and his rivals constantly getting in his way), the way he refuses to break Katarina and his engagement off despite her repeatedly asking him to, as well as some of his lines here and there, are definitely NOT cute. 

Keith is Katarina’s adopted brother, but clearly has a thing for her too. On one hand, they only first met when they were nine and he fell for her pretty immediately. On the other hand, he still refers to her as “sister” constantly which is kinda eesh. 

The other two guys are all right- Nicol’s big thing is he’s inexpressive and doesn’t talk much which, considering show doesn’t spend much time inside his head, doesn’t make him a very interesting character in the ensemble (maybe he comes across better in the novels) but there’s nothing wrong with him. Alan is undoubtedly the Best Boy in my book. He’s another common trope- rambunctious and competitive with Katarina but clearly soft for her- but he’s done well and they have a lot of cute moments together.

I find the girl love interests to be a much more interesting group overall, though this may be my obvious bias talking. Sophia has the strongest connection to Katarina, their backstories being intertwined in a surprising and touching way (I’m told in the novels her affection for Katarina was treated as more platonic, but the anime definitely plays it up as having romantic elements). Maria’s original role as the game’s heroine puts her in the most interesting position (and would make her the most narratively satisfying choice of love interest, if the show was actually interested in choosing). And while Mary is comically tenacious in her pursuit of Katarina, she’s doesn’t ever act ‘sinister’ or overstep boundaries in the way Geordo does, her “scheming” only really amounting to straightforwardly asking if Katarina wants to ditch her fiance and run away with her. 

As I mentioned, one thing that really contributes to My Next Life as a Villainess being a relaxing watch is that the queer characters are treated with casual acceptance. Mary in particular isn’t subtle about her crush on Katarina, but nobody bats an eye at her and she’s completely open and comfortable with herself too. The observing maid notes that the girls are in love with Katarina with the same bland affect as when she notes she notes the guys are. And while the social practices of the nobles are pretty heteronormative- girls are always engaged in arranged marriages to guys, the guys are expected to dance with the girls (something Mary complains about!)- there’s apparently a booming queer romance novel industry that inspires our young wlw.

Katarina, having grown up in a different world, seems to be the one most prone to heteronormativity of her group. She never really considers  that a girl would ever fall in love with her, but is also never hostile to the idea. It’s telling that when Mary very clearly indicates her desired romantic partner would be a girl, Katarina’s the only one that gets tripped up and has to walk back her assumption that Mary would be talking about a guy. 

Mary LAYING DOWN THE LAW

Also, Katarina has  SEVERAL “she’s so cute! My heart is beating faster!” moments with the other girls, on par in frequency with her moments with the guys. This strongly hints she’s an oblivious bisexual disaster.

So, My Next Life as Villainess is a fun, frothy watch and the rare positive example of silly wish-fufillment that’s inclusive to a wlw audience. But is the actual plot good, or remotely complex? The answer to that is no, the plot is fairly predictable and one definitely shouldn’t got into this story expecting a deep examination of the nature of fate or anything like that.There’s no real explanation of big reason as to why why Katarina was reborn into this game world and so on.

 The antagonist that does eventually emerge plays off otome game tropes a bit, but ultimately isn’t that interesting or built up all that well. . The attempts at drama the show makes towards the end fall a little flat, especially since it tends to rely on very-late-in-the-game-exposition-dumps (dark magic isn’t even MENTIONED as existing in this world until like, the second to last episode where it becomes relevant and we get a vague infodump explaining its mechanics). The conflict honestly almost feels shoehorned in and the climax is pretty standard and doesn’t really utilize the big cast of characters all that well

But in the end, that’s okay! The show makes it abundantly clear from the beginning it’s not here to be Deep, but to be some silly fun. And it really fulfills that purpose well, from it’s catchy, peppy theme tune to its consistently warm tone. It MAY get repetitive at times for some, and I do have some quibbles- like how I found the childhood segments to be some of the shows best material and wish we could have stayed in that section for a bit instead of rushing through it, how I wish Katarina had kept her cute little scar, etc- but overall, it was definitely the soothing balm I needed during a very rough time and I absolutely recommend it if you’re looking for a chill, feel-good watch.

 And hey, a second season’s supposed to be on the way too, so there’s something to potentially look forward to!

[masterthespianduchovny]

Some people gon be mad at me, but I gotta say it...

Some Scully fans don't understand Scully or her relationship/feelings with/for Mulder.

Scully's relationship with Mulder is this utterly pure thing that is grounded by how much she genuinely cares, respects, and supports him as a person. When you understand Scully's perception of Mulder in this view, seeing her as some long suffering woman doesn't make any sense.

Most of the time Scully sacrifices or choosing Mulder isn't based on romantic feelings, it's based in moral and ethical values and what she holds important. The show sets this up early.

In Squeeze, Tom asks "who's side are you on" and Scully says, "the victim."

This coincides with the side Mulder is on.

Tom was obstructing the case due to his on bias and hatred of Mulder. Despite Mulder's pettiness, Scully understands that Mulder will always prioritize the victim. She chose justice (Mulder) over pettiness (Tom).

When Scully declines a second date with the single father, she's choosing knowledge and curiosity over romance and her personal life.

Interestingly enough, Mulder never asked her to choose him. He's always asked her to be honest about the truth, but he never put her in that situation to prioritize him over her own professional goals or personal life. In fact, he would've understood if she did and said as much.

So when I say some Scully fans don't understand Scully, I'm not being insulting or intentionally rude, I'm saying they're overlooking small character moments that inform her characterization throughout the series.

Scully was not only a workaholic, she LOVED her work. And there wasn't just an obligation to Mulder, it was to the victims as well. I often think about how in this universe, if Mulder and Scully hadn't investigated these cases, either no one would've or it would've never been solved. It must've been something Scully also thought about as well.

Scully mentioned a few times that she joined the FBI to make a difference. Not for prestige or make a name for herself, but to make a difference. She didn't throw away her career for Mulder, she was exactly where she wanted to be. Those other cases handled by mainstream agents were always going to be investigated and solved (if possible), but x file cases?

There's a reason Mulder was called from bumfuck, Kansas or backwoods, West Virginia. There was no one else. Her and Mulder were the only two who took these things seriously.

But also, Scully genuinely genuinely cared for Mulder. Not because she wanted to fuck him, thought he was hot, or really wanted to date him. She enjoyed him as a person. Like truly. After working with him, understanding this beliefs, and meeting many victims, the x files became her passion project too. She attached herself to Mulder because there was no one alive she respected more than him. Someone who stood by their convictions regardless of what others thought to the betterment of people besides him.

He had his flaws, but the great parts of Mulder truly outshined the worst parts of him.

People often overlook how much the x files and her experience changed Scully. The deadpan, straight to the point Scully we know and love came to fruition in season 5. Believe me, I checked. Remember, Scully used to be goofy, open, and free. Then she was abducted, given cancer, kidnapped, sister killed over mistaken identity, etc. That changes a person.

But none of this is Mulder's fault. Mulder changed her in the best way possible. He opened her mind up and challenged her--it was intellectual. Those other things I mentioned made Scully pull within herself and close off. It made her guarded. So suffered so much emotional and mental and literal physical trauma.

As a result, her social interactions changed.

As a reminder, she became a workaholic because of her passion for the x files and she enjoyed it. Then to add on to that, her work was wild as hell, hard to explain, and some of it classified. Scully lived such a unique experience that regularly interacting with others would've been frustrating, exhausting, and her having a sense of feeling misunderstood. And dating would've been a minefield.

Thing is: Scully didn't mind this change to her life. This isn't to say that Scully didn't want or have any friends, it's to say that she didn't strive to have a booming social life nor did she care. Again, she VOLUNTARILY became a workaholic and threw away a normal life for paranormal shit. Someone who does that isn't trying to meet friends for happy hour on Friday or planning to have serious relationships any time soon.

Not only that, some people live lives like this right now and have incredibly fulfilling lives. Some people just work and have one or two friends and they're living their best lives. The idea that just because Scully doesn't have an active dating life and a circle of friends she regularly talks to means that her life is dour is so flawed.

Scully's eventual dissatisfaction with her life was rooted in her believing she should want things that she didn't want. Scully could've walked away. She could've said enough, instead she kept finding reasons to stay because she wanted to be on the x files. And it's quite clear that you can't work on the x files and have a normal life. She didn't want both, she wanted the life that she chose.

At that time, Scully was unable to articulate just how much she wanted to be with Mulder, which is why she positions, "Don't you want to get out of the car?"

She wanted moments of normalcy with him.

And it isn't just because Mulder gets that life because he lives it, its because Scully is actually in love with Mulder for who he is. She's seen Mulder at his best and at his worst and loves every part of him.

Whatever feelings Scully had for Mulder in the past that she pushed away, she couldn't do it anymore. She loved Mulder in a way she couldn't put into words. It was the truest feeling she ever felt, the most sincere thing and she hadn't realized it yet. Then, when she does, it takes them time to get there because Mulder is literally the most important person in her life.

Which seeds were planted back in season 2. In "Little Green Men" (I think), the thought of not working with Mulder saddened Scully because it meant she wouldn't get to see and talk to him. Mulder made a huge impression on her and became important to her very quickly.

So imagine 5-7 years down the road...embracing this feeling and the thought of losing Mulder if things went south would've been devastating for Scully. She wouldn't lose just a partner, she'd lose a best friend too.

Because she genuinely cared for him and he's her literal best friend.

The love Scully feels for Mulder surpasses known definitions of romantic love because her feelings aren't centered in that. She loves him on levels that most people can't imagine. Scully cares for Mulder so much and she shows that by listening to him and protecting him even if Mulder doesn't think he needs protection. She validates him and doesn't trivialize his beliefs even when she doesn't agree with them. It doesn't matter who the person is, Scully will always go to bat for Mulder because he only ever had himself and he needs to someone to say "hey, you're not alone and you're taken seriously."

I bring this up to say, the idea that Mulder doesn't deserve Scully when Scully clearly wants him is flawed. The idea that Mulder should be lucky that Scully "puts up" with him is flawed. The idea that Scully would ever tell Mulder as such or anything resembling (and stressing how she could've been happy with this perfect other man) is flawed. Those first two things are categorically wrong and the last is something Scully would never do because she loves Mulder and that is harmful. Scully would never tell Mulder something that would harm him or that she believed could.

All Things is so pivotal because Scully stops concerning herself with what she believe she should want and embracing what she actually wants: investigating x files and living an unconventional life with Mulder.

Scully wants that.

Not dating around, girls night, or frequent intimate get togethers with her family. She wants to investigate haunted houses on Christmas Eve and discover invisible bodies and help victims find justice.

After her and Mulder get together, she's committed to him. She waited so long to be with him that even while he was in hiding, she never considered dating anyone else. Emotionally and spiritually, she'd been married to him. Now that they'd been together, she didn't want anyone else but him.

Like there's so many layers to this, which hasn't even taken the "like a switch" speech. Or her reaction to Diana, which had multiple levels--romantic, platonic, and professional.

Lastly, the idea that Scully was waiting around for Mulder (to ask her out) is such a basic take. Scully wasn't waiting on Mulder, she prioritized their working relationship over romance AND she knew Mulder had his own stuff going on with himself. Even if she had wanted to date then, she didn't fault Mulder for not asking her out. All the shit he'd been through and was going through, Scully was more concerned about his emotional well-being opposed to upset that he hadn't pursued her.

Although I do get the criticism and the desire for Scully to date, have on screen friends, and shit, it just doesn't track with what we've seen and know of Scully.

Like, this woman almost went on the run with Mulder after knowing him for 2-3 years. They only reason they didn't was because she wanted to see her sister who'd been shot. The reason she almost went on the run was due to moral and ethical reasons and not romance, however, my point is that Scully's convictions and priorities is why her life was the way it was and that's the way she wanted it to be. She then went on the run with him when she didn't have to, but we know she would because 1. his sentence was an injustice (we know how Scully feels about justice) 2. she was madly in love with him and refused to continue living her life without him.

Once again, Scully is discarding any notion of normalcy because she didn't want it and hadn't wanted it since getting assigned to the x files.

And that's on that.

(And it's why I object to the characterization of their relationship in IWTB and seasons 10 and 11. Although it's fine and makes sense for their relationship to have issues at times, the writers handled it so cavalierly and without thought. You cannot have the backbone of the show in a romantic falling out and not address it--not really. They don't try to genuinely deal with such a situation because it's melodrama, but my question is: why introduce it in the first place. If it isn't worth being addressed, it's not worth being introduced. Mulder and Scully had a chat or two, but it was so superficial and lacked teeth. It's not that I wanted the show to focus on them romantically, I just want the show to not bullshit or half ass shit they're introducing and bringing up is all.)

[carrotmakar]

Congratulations

Pairing: Baseball!Harry x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Summary: When Harry sees you ‘flirting’ with a guy at one of his games, you have to reassure him that you’re his and only his.

Warning(s): Flashbacks, bias, baseballrry, jealousy, argument, poorly written smut (face fucking) {the characters at the time of the smut are seniors in high school and are 18 years old}

A/N: This is my first completely written smut and it’s not even like, actual sex, but yeah. This is definitely the first one that I’ve ever posted, so please be nice :)). I am aware that it’s definitely awful, but I had an idea and I wrote it :)).

Masterlist

Add yourself to my taglist here

Request anything you want here but be sure to read my guidelines first!

Make sure to reblog to share with your friends! You can talk to me about any and everything here! And as always, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all :)))

*

Baseball players were obnoxious. They were loud and over the top in everything that they did. They were the only team at school that actually won anything, so they thought that they were the absolute best, and they would rub that in anyone’s face whenever they got the chance. 

The part that made you hate them the most, however, was the fact that every single one of them is attractive. They were hot and they all knew it. This wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t flaunt themselves and watch all the girls fall to their knees for them.

Well, mostly all the girls. You wouldn’t be caught dead with any of the baseball players. You made that abundantly clear every chance that you got, and most of them seemed to understand. 

Actually, all of them understood except for one. The one you hated the most. The captain of the baseball team, the best looking one of all, Harry Styles. 

He was as egotistical and narcissistic as they come. He watched girls fawn over him and made it into a joke. He would see how far he could string them along before breaking it off, only to see them fall apart. 

He was a dick and you could not stand to even be in the same room as him. You rolled your eyes every time that he looked in your direction and you ignored him every time that he tried to talk to you.

Until the day that the worst thing that could have ever happened in Chemistry class unfolded. 

It was the beginning of the second semester, which meant that everyone got a new lab partner. To everyone in the class, it made absolutely no sense, but Mrs. Madison was always going on and on about the fact that the class needed to make new friends and branch out more, Which, apparently, she thought would be accomplished by making you work with a random person for an hour every day while doing labs in the absolute worst subject in school. 

Every attempt to complain about the changes, however, were completely futile. She didn’t have a single care in the world for the wants of her class, she just did what she wanted.

Which was apparently making your life a living hell.

She went through the roster, randomly assigning partners until she got to your name.

“Y/N Y/L/N and Harry Styles.” You tried your best to hide the grimace that had etched its way onto your features and the groan of frustration that was fighting to come out.You had looked over at him, hoping that he would complain and she would change partners, seeing as she had always had a soft spot for Harry, but to no avail. He had a wide grin on his face, as if hearing that sentence had made his week.

And so it started, the hour every day that would rarely be spent working, but more so to get to know one another better. At first, it had been him trying to get to know you better, but eventually, you had loosened up, had realized that if you were going to be stuck with him, then you might as well be civil.

“Come on, Y/N, just tell me something about you.” He had whined.

“What do you wanna know, Styles?” You could tell by the look in his eyes that you had caught him off guard. He had thought that he would have to work harder to get you to tell him something.

“Anything, anything at all.” He looked genuinely interested and you couldn't help but shake the feeling that maybe you were wrong about him. But that was absurd, right?

“I like photography and I write sometimes.” You had mumbled, hoping that he wouldn’t hear. Of course, he did hear it, every single word of it. 

But he didn’t make fun of you like you had thought he would, he had just softly smiled at you, mumbled a “thanks” and then continued with the lab.

Weeks passed and every class period was getting easier and easier to attend, until one day, you found yourself actually looking forward to the class. You were absolutely perplexed. Who in their right minds actually looked forward to chemistry? You couldn’t fathom why your attitude had suddenly shifted. That is, until you walked into the classroom and saw him sitting there.

Who would’ve thought? Harry Styles was the reason that you were excited to come to chemistry. It had taken him mere weeks to tear down the walls that you had worked so hard to keep up.

It was like he hadn’t even tried. He had just been nice. And for the first time ever, you didn’t think that he had been doing it to use you. He had been genuinely nice and you had fallen for it. You had become just like every other girl in the school.

You had fallen for the boy with the pretty green eyes. It wasn't like you had just taken one look at him and fallen, though. That’s where you were different. It had taken you weeks. But it still happened nonetheless. He still ended up with you wrapped around his finger.

‘Now it’s just a matter of time before he uses it against me,’ you had thought to yourself before taking your seat next to him.

It had been two years since that day. You were now seniors and he had yet to use it against you. In fact, he had fallen for you before you had fallen for him and he was ecstatic when he found out that you had feelings for him.

He had been the perfect boyfriend for two years and counting. You couldn’t have asked for anything more. 

Everyone thought he was the absolute perfect man, and really, he was. There was only one thing about him that you could ever complain about, and honestly, you couldn’t even call it a flaw. 

Harry just had the tendency to get jealous. Of course, he trusted you. It’s just that he didn’t trust everyone else. 

And that’s the exact reason that you’re in the situation with Harry that you are.

“Why him? You could’ve cheated with anyone, why’d you pick him?” He runs a shaking hand through his unruly curls that were still drenched with sweat. “You know how I feel about that piece of shit.” He stops for a moment, looking you in the eyes, and you can see the anger burning behind the jade irises. “That’s why you did it, isn’t it?” He accuses.

“Harry, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t cheat on you!” You throw your hands up in the air, frustrated by the fact that he won’t listen to you and hurt because he thinks you would actually do such a thing. “Why would I cheat on you? especially with him?”

“I don’t know!” He yells, not being able to contain it any longer. “Everyone fucking warned me, don’t get too attached to someone, you’ll get your heart broken.” He looks in your direction, but you can tell that he’s not actually looking at you. “What they never told me, though, is that I would fall so in love with someone only for them to rip my heart out of my chest and beat it repeatedly with a sledgehammer.” He’s back to pacing around the room, looking everywhere but you. “I told them all, ‘no, it’ll be fine. I love her. She loves me. We’ll be alright. That won’t happen.’ But maybe I was wrong. Maybe they had a point.” 

“Will you please let me explain myself, H?” You try, wanting to get him to see the truth in the situation and not what he wants to see just because he hates Malachi. “Just let me tell you what happened and then we can talk, please.” You beg him. All you need is a few seconds and everything can be fixed. You can cuddle up to your loving boyfriend and put everything behind you. Or maybe you can congratulate him on the fourth win of the season, leaving his team undefeated.

He doesn’t seem to hear your question, though, and he mumbles something. At first, your brain doesn’t register what’s been said, but then you process. It hits you like a train, and you’re speechless for a moment. Everything that had been floating around in your head left the moment that you realized how he was really feeling.

Apparently, you go without saying anything for too long, being completely shell-shocked and all, so he repeats himself, thinking that you couldn’t hear him the first time. “Am I not good enough?” He finally stops pacing, looking up at you, and for a second, you wish that you had never faced him. There are tears in his eyes, threatening to spill onto his blotchy cheeks. He looks absolutely disheveled and your heart breaks at the sight. This wasn’t the first time that you had discussed this with him. 

Harry wasn’t the arrogant guy that he pretended to be at school. He was insecure and he doubted himself in everything that he did. The only thing that made him feel like he was enough for anybody was you, and he thought that you were trying to leave him for someone else.

“Harry, baby.” You say, walking over to him and trying to grab his hands. “Listen to me please.”

He pulls away and spits, “Don’t call me baby.” You know he doesn’t mean it, he just pushes everyone away when he gets like this. He’d rather be alone than think he’s burdening anybody. 

You take a deep breath in, trying to force the tears in your eyes to stay there and not spill onto your face. This was about him, not you. You had no right to shift the focus onto yourself by letting the tears fall. Not that he would blame you, he would drop everything to make you feel better, which is why you couldn’t cry right now. It was your turn to make him feel better. 

“Harry, listen.” You say, grabbing his hand. “You’re everything. I could never ask for anyone better.” There’s nothing but truth in your voice, and you hope that he can hear it.

“Then why do you want him?” He asks, no longer sounding hateful, just hurt. He pulls his hand out of your grasp and you can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s too far into his insecurities for you to fix this with a sentence or two.

“I don’t. Harry, I don’t. I want you. And that’s what I was trying to tell him when you walked over.” You take his hand in yours again, holding tighter than last time, not wanting him to pull away again. To your relief, he doesn’t. He just let’s you guide him to the bed. You sit down at the end and pull him to sit beside you. 

Once he’s settled, you raise a hand to his hair and push it out of his eyes, knowing that he hates when his hair falls into his line of vision. “Yes, he asked me out. Yes, he told me that I should choose him.” he stiffens and you can feel the anger coming back to his body, so you quickly continue, “But I didn’t. I didn’t choose him, because he isn’t you,” you slide into his lap, placing one knee on the bed on each side of him, straddling him. You cup his face in your hands and continue, “and you are the only,” you lean in and give him a quick peck, “one,” you lean in again, “that,” another, “I’ll” your lips linger slightly longer this time, feeling his arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer, “ever,” you’re back to quick pecks, “want.”

You move your hands from his face, letting them slide down over his neck and come to a rest on his shoulders.

You lean your head down, letting your lips find purchase on the taut skin of his jaw, leaving wet kisses down to the dip of his collar bones. Between every kiss, you murmur a praise to him.

“You’re so handsome, baby.”

“You deserve the world.”

“You’re so good to me.”

“Love you so much.”

“Look so good in that uniform.”

“Such a good baseball player, wanna reward you.”

At the last one, he pulls back slightly, scanning your face, ensuring that you’re not only doing this because you were arguing. “You sure, baby? Don’t have to do anything just because you think I’m mad.” He runs a hand down your back, letting you know that it’s fine if you don’t want to. The action sends shivers throughout your body.

“Wanna show you how proud of you I am, how much I love you. Would you like that baby?” You ask, waiting for him to approve, not wanting to push him if he really doesn’t want you to do anything.

After a moment of consideration, he nods his head, “Please, love.”

Your lips find their way back to his, immediately locking into a kiss. It’s not like the ones that you usually share. It’s not rushed. There’s no teeth knocking against one another’s, there’s no fight for dominance. It’s smooth and soft, tongues gliding together and seamlessly allowing your mouths to mold.

After a moment, you move slightly, allowing your lips to fall in quick succession all around his face, kissing every feature that you adore beyond comparison. Every detail that he seems to hate about himself. 

You let your lips land on the dimples that make your heart flutter, the crinkles by his eyes that make your tummy erupt in butterflies, the freckles that make you want to run your finger over them for hours on end. You kiss every inch of his face, because his face is the most perfect one that you had ever had the pleasure of seeing.

Once you’re satisfied that his face has been moved on enough, you move down to his neck, nipping and sucking marks into his skin. He groans when you place an open mouthed kiss on a particularly sensitive spot and you smirk into his skin. 

Usually, you would pay special attention to that spot, but that was never really for him. Sure, it felt good to him, but you just really loved the groans that would fall from his lips. So, you would drag out the time you spent adoring that single spot.

Today, however, was all about his pleasure. And you know that he hates the teasing more than anything. He doesn’t need the foreplay, the kissing and sucking all over his body. All that he needs is to see you on your knees, looking up at him through your lashes.

So, as you move down his neck, you begin to unbutton his baseball jersey. Once the final button is undone, you push it off his shoulders and look at the man in front of you. How you got lucky enough to be with him, you’ll never know. 

You begin to kiss down his chest, paying slight attention to the places that you know make him tick. You know that he doesn’t need it, but you also know that they make him feel good, and that’s all that you want to do, make him feel good.

You continue making your way across his chest, kissing and licking. When you get to his nipples, you let your tongue run over them for a moment. You let your teeth gently graze over the peak, and his body jolts into you.

“Baby, please.” He whimpers. You look up at him, giving him a look of mock innocence as you make your way to his other nipple. You repeat your actions before moving down his torso.

You stop once again at his butterfly tattoo, letting your tongue run along the lines of it. He lets out a choppy breath, and you know he’s putty in your hands. You’ve got him right where you want him.

You make your way lower, yet again stopping at his fern tattoos. As you run your tongue across them, pausing slightly every now and then to nip at his hips, his hands rake through your hair, gripping on to the strands like they’re his tethers to reality.

“Not gonna tease you today baby, is that okay?” You murmur against his hip, knowing that you not having your mouth exactly where he wants you to be is killing him. 

“Yeah, that’s fine baby just please, need your mouth so bad.” He begs, and you have no choice but to give him what he wants. You pop the button on his baseball pants, pulling both them and his boxers down his legs. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of him, red and leaking. It’s not like you’ve never seen him before, he’s just so pretty in every aspect, and it seems to catch you off guard every time.

“You sound so pretty when you beg for me, H.” You all but whimper, letting your mouth move further down as he kicks his pants completely off.

You settle comfortably on your knees in front of him. You let your hands come up to the top of his thigh, scratching your nails down the skin.

He hisses, and you take his moment of distraction to lick the pearl of precum that has settled at the tip of him.

Just this simple action has him bucking his hips and letting out a broken whimper. You can’t help but smile, knowing that you’re the reason that he’s reacting like that.

When you peer up at him and see him looking at you with pure adoration, you take him in your mouth, sucking at the tip before bobbing further down. The hand in your hair clenches, like he’s trying not to push your head down as far as you can go. Like he’s trying not to make you choke on him.

You pull off of him and revel in the whimper that escapes his mouth. “Do you want to fuck my face baby?”

He chokes out a groan, nodding his head slightly. You reach for his other hand, which had been clenched tightly in a fist by his side, and place it in your hair alongside the other one. He shoots you a wary glance that quickly dissipates as you say, “Then do it. Please, H.”

He lets out a light chuckle. “Who’s begging now?” 

He doesn’t give you time to answer. He pushes back into your mouth, and you can’t help but moan. Him having you like this is one of your favorite sexual activities with him.He starts slow, easy. It’s always like this. He uses shallow thrusts to give you time to adjust to the experience.

Little by little, though, he pushes deeper. He can’t help it, really. You’re just so wet and warm. You feel like heaven to him. 

You hollow your cheeks, slowly moving your tongue along the underside of him, feeling the veins running across the muscle. 

“That’s it, baby, feel so good for me.” He groans, pushing your head down further, causing you to slightly choke, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. 

He pulls your head back, just as he does every single time, and asks, “Are you okay, lovie?”

Your heart swells, but you’re too impatient to dwell on it, you want him back down your throat. “I’m perfect. Now please, please let me make you feel good.” You stick your tongue back out and he places the tip of his dick on your muscle.

The only warning he gives you is a slight nod before he pushes back down your throat, immediately setting a brutal pace, hips snapping forward as he pulls your head towards his hips by your hair.

You can feel the ache beginning to settle in your jaw and the burn in the back of your throat. You know that you won’t be able to comfortably talk for the next few days, but it was always worth it.

“Look at you baby, taking me so well.” He groans, praising you. 

The spit was pooling in your mouth, as it always does, and you know that sooner rather than later, you’ll be making an absolute mess of yourself.

He pushes all the way to the back of your throat, and you feel yourself gag, but you know that he won’t let up before he feels like it, so you push your gag reflex down and do your best to breathe through your nose.

“Yeah, baby. That’s it. Taking all of me like a good girl.” He brings his hand down to your throat, squeezing at it gently, just adding a little bit of pressure.

You moan around him, and that’s when the spit begins to fall, covering your chin. He smiles down at you, mumbling something about you being his messy little baby and continues to thrust into your mouth. 

The only thing that you can taste is him, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You can feel every vein, every ridge of his cock against your tongue. You can also feel the way that he’s twitching in your mouth, how every thrust is bringing him closer and closer to his end. 

You hollow your cheeks around him and suck a little harder. You hear him groan from above you and his hips stutter.

He’s a lot closer than you thought he was.

You double your efforts, moving your head along with him, holding his cock all the way in your throat for longer than you had been, sucking a little harder on the tip when he pulls back. 

He’s being unapologetically loud, moaning and groaning about how good you are for him, and you can’t help but be proud. You made him that way.

Seconds later, you can feel the first string of his release. He goes to apologize and pull out of your mouth, but you slightly shake your head and grab his thighs. You know how hot he thinks it is when you swallow.

You take everything he has to offer before swallowing every last drop. When you stand back up, you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, showing him that there’s nothing left.

He groans and pulls you closer, catching your lips in a heated kiss. This time, it’s complete teeth and tongue. 

“Want me to make you feel as good as you made me feel, love?” He asks.You just shake your head. He looks offended, so you quickly elaborate. “I congratulated you for winning baby, that was a one way thing. Don’t need you to do anything for me, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” You smile at how persistent he is. He’s just as eager to please as you are.

“I’m sure.” He nods, dragging you onto the beg to cuddle with him.

“I’ll just pay you back another time, then.” He promises. You roll your eyes. 

“It’s not something to pay back, H.”

“Fine then, I’ll give you head randomly just because I want to. Or maybe next time you do good on a test. Anytime really.” He chuckles.

“Alright, alright. Can we go to bed? I’m tired.” You whine. He just looks over at you and smiles, pulling you close and placing a kiss on your lips.

“Night, baby.”

“Night night.”

*

Okay so I tried hehe. Thank you for reading!! Come talk to me if you wanna :)))

Permanent Taglist - @spidey-reids-2003​, @jackiehollanderr​, @scarletsoldierrr​, @thewayilookatbacon​, @parker-barnes-af​, @lost-in-the-stars03​, @kisses-holland​, @josiemara​, @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​, @fanficscuziranout​,  @akila-stilinski​ @babebenhardy​ @write-from-the-heart​, @slytherinambitious​, @miraclesoflove​ @tomshufflepuff​, @quaksonhehe​, @a-different-brand-of-beans​, @dummiesshort​, @sleepybesson​, @sunshine96love​, @itstaskeen​, @wotamelonsugar​ 

  Harry Styles Taglist - @alwayshave-faith​, @hufflepuff-always-and-forever​, @sucker-09​ @just-chillin-out-in-me-box​, @macksmedicine, @wendaiii​, @theresthingsthatwellneverknow​,