#and that’s how I found out basically lol

[mikuluvu]

A/N: GUYS HERE IT IS!!! MY FIRST COD X READER!! BASICALLY, THIS A TF141 X READER! OMG I LOVED THIS.

TF141 X ASSASIN!READER

Lasswell sent them to get Intel from you... Or did she just want to make the team introduce you?

Price adjusted his cap, scanning the perimeter with a sharp eye. Soap stood beside him, muttering under his breath while Gaz and Ghost remained close, weapons ready.

“Intel says she’s here,” Gaz said, voice low. “Lasswell wants her alive and... cooperative.”

“She’s an assassin, Gaz, not a lost puppy,” Ghost muttered.

“Stay sharp,” Price commanded. “If half the things Lasswell said about her are true, we’ll need every edge we can get.”

Lasswell had briefed them earlier: Y/N, codename ‘Viper’. A one-woman army.

But what Lasswell hadn’t mentioned was your flair.

The team breached the building silently, fanning out. The place was eerily quiet, save for the faint sound of jazz playing somewhere deeper inside. Ghost signaled, and the team moved towardbwhere the music is coming from.

When they entered the main hall, you were already waiting—lounging comfortably in an armchair, a glass of whiskey in one hand, the other playing lazily with a combat knife.

“Well, well, well…” you purred, a smirk dancing across your lips. “You know, boys, if you wanted my attention, you could’ve just called.”

Soap stiffened, his hand instinctively tightening around his rifle. Price raised an eyebrow, and Gaz looked downright confused. Ghost simply stared.

“Y/N,” Price said cautiously. “We’re here for the intel. No need for this to get messy.”

You tilted your head, studying them with an amused glint in your eyes. “But messy is so fun, Captain.”

Before any of them could react, the lights cut out. A rush of movement, a flurry of expertly thrown smoke grenades, and in under five minutes… The 4 of them found themselves tied to sturdy chairs, weapons confiscated (dont ask me how lol)

When the lights flickered back on, you stood before them, arms crossed, looking way too pleased with yourself.

“Oh, boys, you make this too easy.”

Soap struggled against his restraints. “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ joking. Four of us, a single woman did all of this?”

You sauntered over to him, leaning close enough for him to smell your perfume. “Correction, sweetheart. One very talented woman.”

Gaz sighed. “Lasswell’s gonna love this.”

As if on cue, your phone buzzed. You put it on speaker. “Lasswell, darling, you’ve really got to send me a better challenge next time.”

Lasswell’s laughter echoed through the phone of the speaker. “I should’ve warned them about your… style, Y/N. But you’ve made your point. Let them go. And behave.”

You sighed dramatically. “Fine, fine. You’re no fun, Kate.”

With a few swift movements, their restraints fell away. Ghost rubbed his wrists, muttering something under his breath.

“Now, now,” you cooed. “No hard feelings, right?”

Price stood, brushing dust off his coat. “You’re quite the woman, aren’t ya’?”

You walked over to a side table, pouring four glasses of whiskey and handing one to each of them. “Come on, Captain. You can’t say you didn’t enjoy this little encounter of ours?.”

Soap accepted his glass, cheeks slightly flushed as you winked at him. Gaz cleared his throat awkwardly when you leaned against his chair, tracing a finger along his shoulder.

“And you,” you turned to Ghost, stepping into his space. “I bet you’re all broody under that mask, but I know you were impressed.”

Ghost didn’t flinch, but the slight shift of his shoulders gave him away.

“So, what now?” Price asked, sipping his whiskey.

You raised your glass with a sly smile. “Now? You tell Lasswell you couldn’t catch me, I give you your intel, and you admit that I’m the most charming asset you’ve ever met.”

The team exchanged glances before Price chuckled, raising his glass. “To Viper—may we never end up on your bad side again.”

You clinked glasses with them, satisfaction radiating from your smirk.

“Careful, Captain,” you purred. “Flattery might just make me keep you all tied up next time.”

Soap nearly choked on his drink while Gaz muttered something about needing a vacation. Ghost simply turned away, but even behind the mask, you could feel the smirk he was hiding.

You leaned casually against the table, swirling the amber liquid in your glass. “Well, boys, it’s been fun playing cat and mouse, but I think it’s time we move to more civilized activities, don’t you think?”

Soap raised an eyebrow. “And what exactly are you suggestin’, lass?”

You smirked, setting your glass down with a soft clink. “Dinner. My treat.”

Gaz blinked. “Dinner? Like… food?”

“No, Gaz, like target practice,” Ghost said dryly, earning a chuckle from Price.

You clapped your hands together. “Come on, gentlemen. I’ve already proven I could’ve killed you four times over by now, but instead, I tied you up and gave you whiskey. That’s practically an invitation to be friends.”

Price gave you a long look before sighing. “Alright, lass. But if you try anything—”

You interrupted with a cheeky grin. “Oh, Captain, if I wanted to try anything, you’d already know.”

Soap let out a low whistle while Ghost shook his head, muttering something unintelligible.

An Hour Later

The makeshift dining area wasn’t anything fancy—just an old wooden table you’d scavenged, set with mismatched chairs and dim overhead lighting. But you’d managed to pull together a surprisingly decent spread: steak, roasted vegetables, and a fresh loaf of bread.

Soap stared at his plate. “Not gonna lie… didn’t expect this from a … assassin.”

You poured red wine into Price’s glass and winked. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”

Price raised his glass slightly. “I’ll admit, Y/N, this is… unexpected.”

“Unexpected can be good, Captain.” You slid into the seat at the head of the table, glass in hand. “You boys are too used to constant firefights and rations. Let a girl spoil you for one night.”

Gaz took a bite, eyes going wide. “Okay… this is actually good.”

You smirked. “Don’t sound so surprised, darling. I’m not just good at breaking necks and slipping away unseen.”

Ghost, who had been quiet most of the evening, finally spoke up. “How’d you and Lasswell got close anyway?”

You took a sip of your wine, eyes glinting with fondness. “Kate and I go way back. Long before I became… this. She’s one of the few people I trust.”

The table went quiet for a moment, the weight of your words settling over the group.

As the night went on, the conversation flowed with laughter, banter, and stories shared between bites of food and sips of wine. You fit in surprisingly well, your sharp wit bouncing effortlessly off Soap’s charm, Gaz’s casual humor, and even Ghost’s dry sarcasm.

Price leaned back in his chair as the meal came to an end, eyeing you with something akin to respect. “You know, Y/N… for someone Lasswell sent us to handle, you’re not half bad.”

You raised your glass one last time. “And for a bunch of world-class soldiers who got themselves tied to chairs by one woman… you’re not half bad either.”

.

.

.

You stood by the warehouse doors, arms crossed, watching them prepare to leave.

But… you weren’t quite done with them yet.

“Leaving so soon, boys?” you said, stepping forward with a sly smile. “No proper goodbye?”

Soap chuckled, running a hand through his mohawk. “What, you want a hug or somethin’, bonnie?”

You stepped up to him, tilting your head slightly as your fingers traced the edge of his vest. “Oh, Johnny… I was thinking something a little more memorable.”

Before he could respond, you leaned in and pressed a quick, soft kiss to his lips. It wasn’t long, but it was enough to leave Soap blinking in stunned silence, a faint blush creeping up his neck.

“Careful now,” you purred. “Don’t go falling for me.”

Gaz let out a low whistle. “Well, that’s… one way to say goodbye.”

You turned to him next, stepping close enough for him to feel your breath against his cheek. “And you, Sergeant Garrick… don’t think you’re getting off so easily.”

You placed a gentle kiss on Gaz’s lips, your hand lingering briefly on his chest before you pulled away with a smirk. Gaz stammered for a second, rubbing the back of his neck while Soap laughed at him.

Ghost shifted awkwardly in the background, arms crossed. You turned your attention to him, your grin widening.

“Oh, Ghost,” you cooed, walking toward him. “Don’t tell me you’re shy under all that black gear.”

You stopped just inches away, your gloved fingers lightly tracing along the edge of his mask. “May I?”

He hesitated for a brief moment before giving you a subtle nod. Slowly, you lifted the mask just enough to expose his lips, and without another word, you leaned in. The kiss was brief but surprisingly tender, and when you pulled back, you lowered his mask with a teasing smile.

“There now… that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Ghost said nothing, but the way his head dipped slightly told you enough.

Finally, you turned to Captain Price. He stood there, hold the straps on his body, his muscles bulging, watching you with an unreadable expression beneath the brim of his cap.

“Well, Captain,” you said softly, stepping right into his space. “What about you?”

Price’s voice was low, gravelly. “You’ve had your fun, Y/N. Don’t push it.”

But you didn’t back down. Instead, your hand came up to rest lightly against his chest. “Come on, Captain… you’re not scared of me, are you?”

Price let out a long sigh, his shoulders relaxing just slightly. “You’re a damn menace, you know that?”

You grinned. “And yet, you can’t resist.”

Before he could say another word, you closed the distance between you. The kiss started slow—hesitant, almost cautious—but it didn’t stay that way for long. Price’s hand came up to cradle the back of your head, pulling you deeper into the kiss as he stepped a little forward.

Your fingers tangled in the fabric of his coat as the kiss grew more intense, filled with a mix of tension, curiosity, and something neither of you wanted to name. When you finally pulled away, both of you were slightly breathless.

“Well, Captain,” you said softly, your lips curling into a wicked smile. “That was… thorough.”

Price stepped back, adjusting his hat and clearing his throat. “Right. Enough of that.”

Soap and Gaz were wide-eyed, while Ghost turned slightly away as if trying to give the two of you privacy—though you were fairly certain he was smirking under that mask.

“Well, gentlemen,” you said, stepping back into the shadows. “It’s been a pleasure… in many ways.”

Price gave you one final look, his voice steady. “Until next time, Y/N.”

You blew them a playful kiss as they walked out into the night, their silhouettes fading into the darkness.

Once they were gone, you leaned against the wall, a satisfied smirk on your face.

“Oh, Lasswell’s definitely going to hear about this one.”

.

.

.

The team sat in the briefing room around a table. The air was thick with silence, broken only by the occasional throat-clearing or the sound of someone shifting uncomfortably in their seat.

Price sat at the head of the table, arms crossed, hat pulled low. Soap was slouched in his chair, staring very intently at the table surface as if it might provide him with answers. Gaz fidgeted with his pen, and Ghost… well, Ghost was Ghost—silent, arms crossed, but the tips of his ears, barely visible under the edge of his mask, were suspiciously red.

The holo-screen flickered to life, and Lasswell’s face appeared. She looked far too amused.

“Well, gentlemen,” Lasswell said smoothly, her lips twitching upward. “I got Y/N’s report. It was… unbelievable.” she snorted

Price sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. “Lasswell, if you’re about to—”

“Oh no, Captain,” Lasswell cut him off, her grin spreading wider. “I wouldn’t dare tease Task Force 141. The most elite squad in the world. The same squad that was tied to chairs, kissed silly, and left flustered in an abandoned warehouse by one very charming assassin.”

Soap groaned, burying his face in his hands. “For the love of—Lasswell, please.”

Gaz muttered, “I’m never gonna live this down, am I?”

Ghost shifted in his seat but said nothing. The slight tilt of his head told everyone he was definitely embarrassed.

Lasswell continued, tapping her chin in mock thought. “Let’s see… Soap, you went all wide-eyed and blushy. Gaz, you couldn’t even form a proper sentence after your little moment. Ghost—oh, Ghost—let her lift your mask? My, my, what trust!”

Ghost’s head snapped up slightly, but he said nothing, arms crossing even tighter over his chest.

“And Captain Price.” Lasswell’s smirk turned downright wicked. “Oh, Captain. You didn’t just get a kiss, did you? No, no… You got the full VIP treatment.”

Soap choked on his coffee. Gaz’s eyes went wide. Ghost let out an audible sigh.

Price pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are we done here, Kate?”

Lasswell leaned closer to the screen, “Just one last thing, Captain—Y/N said, and I quote, ‘Tell Price I’ll be dreaming about that kiss tonight.’”

The room fell into stunned silence. Soap wheezed, Gaz stared at the screen like it might explode, and even Ghost let out a low, muffled snort.

Price’s face remained stoic, but the faintest tinge of pink crept up his neck. “Right. Briefing’s over. Dismissed.”

Soap practically bolted from his chair, muttering something about needing “a moment.” Gaz followed, shaking his head and mumbling, “I’ll never recover from this.” Ghost got up wordlessly, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

As they filed out, Lasswell’s voice echoed from the screen. “Oh, don’t worry, boys. Y/N sends her love.”

The screen flickered off, leaving Price alone in the room. He let out a long, exhausted sigh and leaned back in his chair.

“Bloody assassin.”

But despite himself, a faint smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

A/n: I had to make you and price make out... Your welcome <3

Thanks for reading! Reblogs w/comments is appreciated. You can support me by donating 1 dolla dolla on my ko-fi

[vidavalor]

<<I looked up the etymology>>

*blush* You can't say these things to me when we're in public. 😂

<<And so our loops connect again with "Every Day.">>

Very true! The focus on mornings in S2 in the "Everyday" of S2 was also interesting to me. The first few episodes all begin with like "here we are again with Aziraphale trying to deal with his same daily round of these weird, lonely mornings" and The Final 15 is like welcome to the worst Friday morning that has ever existed lol. I guess my point is that the cycle of time is a thing during the week we're watching with things around everyday and the same daily round, etc. and that also shows us Aziraphale's diary.

Dawn is difficult for him because new days are micro-versions of the new dawn he feels stuck in trying to figure out how to start. He faces them alone because part of that new dawn would be figuring out how to make it so he can breakfast with that one, particular demon without them getting killed.

Diary and journal do seem to be quite a bit interconnected with some overlapping roots and connected words tied to daily/the dawn/daybreak, etc.. The PIE root dyeu is it a bit more the sky and heaven than technically God-- I know that, in some minds, those are the same things, but I think there might be a difference in meaning with relation to Good Omens. There's a disconnect between the awesome Voice of God who has been chatting with us and the evilness of the Heaven we've been watching.

There's also plenty of blasphemous wordplay throughout where characters are referring to those they love in different ways using terminology related to God or religious figures. With Crowley and Aziraphale, it's obviously deliciously dirty but, in the more general and innocent and direct paralleling plotline with the kids in S1, it's also just using the most famous palindrome word in the English language:

Dog, backwards, is God. The kid's gonna be alright. 😉

The ties between sky and heaven and the word diary does make Aziraphale choosing that word to call his record of his life on Earth a lot of fun. I've found that the words sky and heaven overlap in their etymologies as well because the sky is basically space but, as we know, space has always been where people thought the angels and the gods and such lived. It's something that makes me smile about Aziraphale writing in Demon's Guide that Baraqiel (Crowley) is the "Angel of The Sky."

It's true on a few levels. It's dry, since Crowley's a fallen angel who, like the other demons, was originally an angel of Heaven. It's also a nod to sky being space-- Crowley as the angel who made the stars. And the sky being an ancient way to refer to heaven... and heaven then becoming human figurative language for paradise? It then also seems to make it something of a C&A version of Gabriel's 'Beezlebub is my Heaven' moment. 😊

So, Aziraphale arrived in Edinburgh with a briefcase we never see him open and a hat that reads, among other things, "PRESS 66" on it, right?

And we might think that these are just Aziraphale's journalist cosplaying accessories but I think there are some hints that there's a bit more going on here than we might think-- all of it very relevant to The Finale.

We think that Aziraphale's arrival in Edinburgh is the first time that we see these things but, in true Good Omens form, the hat and briefcase are both actually glimpsed in a prior scene... rather significantly placed in that earlier scene, even.

Here they are, sitting together, the hat atop the briefcase, both in front of Jimbriel's once Fly-containing box, beside/behind the memory-wiped Muriel, in the scene below:

So, as Muriel is sitting there, not remembering Aziraphale, and as Aziraphale is sitting there, remembering Muriel and thinking all the things about the fact that they don't remember him at all? In the shot between them is the box into which Jim put his memory and brought it to Crowley and Aziraphale for safe keeping. In front of that box? Is Aziraphale's press hat and briefcase, seemingly drawing some connections between the journalist accessories and the memory plots in S2. Hmm...

What this scene also shows is that Aziraphale didn't just magic this stuff up as props when he arrived in Scotland. Even though we didn't see them in the car on the way up, they were there on the passenger seat for him to retrieve upon his arrival. He brought them with him from the shop. He packed them overnight and they were there, all ready to go, prior to Muriel's arrival, which coincided with Crowley coming over and moving the plants out of the car because Aziraphale planned to take it to Scotland. Why does this matter?

Because it might signal that there's more to the briefcase and the hat with its press credentials than we might initially suspect.

I think it would be safe to say that Aziraphale, by this point in the story, would be concerned that his memories were in danger.

He knows he's always been on a collision course with falling and this is all escalating pretty quickly in S2 in the two days prior to Aziraphale packing this press stuff and taking the car. Gabriel was The Supreme Archangel and he couldn't remember who he was and the archangels had shown up to threaten them and say that they're going to be spying on him even more closely, sending another angel to bug them the next day... the memory-wiped Muriel being quite an interesting choice, as that's sending quite a threatening message. Aziraphale also had roped Maggie and Nina into this and he knew he was likely going to have a confrontation with Heaven and Hell coming.

One of the first things he'd be concerned about would be his memories, right? and it's here where we can mention what we later learn about what Heaven can and cannot do regarding those memories... things that are new to us but that Aziraphale likely would have already known and factored into his plan, as we'll see.

Hints are given to this all season via Gabriel but it really becomes overt in this scene here:

This scene proves that Gabriel's memories aren't just in The Fly in S2-- they're also still in his mind. His memories are shown to be in two places at once. Gabriel's memories-- ones even directly related to the trauma he underwent-- actually began to come back before The Fly, in this scene. Gabriel felt safe and like he was talking with someone who could understand in this scene with Crowley so the memories began to come back for him.

The point here is that this scene shows that, when Gabriel "took his memories out" and put them into The Fly, what he was really doing was basically backing them up. He "uploaded" his memories into The Fly for safekeeping so he could retrieve them later, as a way to keep it so that they wouldn't be erased forever, but those same memories are still also on the "hard drive" of his mind. They were just mostly inaccessible to him for almost all of S2 because of trauma.

Before you say well, Gabriel might be a special case because he took his own memories out to avoid Heaven attacking him? Consider that Crowley didn't have a chance to do that-- but he tells Gabriel he knows how Gabriel feels.

Crowley has had the same experiences with his own memories. He's been able to bring some back at different times, without a lot of context, but a lot remains blocked. Crowley saying that he's been able to retrieve some memories means that those memories are still there in his mind, just very painful and difficult to access.

The idea might be that their memory loss is actually trauma-blocking. If Crowley's situation has the same effect as Gabriel's, it suggests that Heaven can't actually take people's memories-- they can only block them.

This would then be suggesting, as a lot in S2 did, that Gabriel didn't develop retrograde amnesia from taking his memories out-- he developed amnesia from the trauma he underwent.

When he felt safe enough to confront some of that trauma, the memories started to come back to him a bit.

What does this have to do with Aziraphale's briefcase, you ask?

It is connected because Gabriel's memory loss being from the trauma of Heaven trying to kill him, not from putting his memories into The Fly, proves that an angel could take his out their memories and not get amnesia from doing so.

Gabriel's story is showing that they could take out their memories whenever they want and still retain those memories also in their minds and be perfectly fine.

It's showing that Aziraphale could have backed up his memories in S2 without experiencing memory loss-- and the press hat and the briefcase are tied to just how he might have done that.

Aziraphale might have taken one look at Gabriel and his memory situation and the archangels circling the shop and thought that it would be a good idea to backup his memories and store them somewhere safe for if this all went pear-shaped.

What's interesting is that then, in a parallel shot to Aziraphale arriving in Edinburgh, we have this later scene when Aziraphale returns to London... note what's missing:

We see him park by the suit shop-- but no suitcase/briefcase this time. No hat. He's also taken off the raincoat. We never see them again for the rest of the season but we see a whole bunch of scenes that hint at where they are and why Aziraphale has left them in that location.

In this moment, we spend a strange amount of time on watching Aziraphale get out of the car and look around, hands-free, pat The Bentley, go for a little walk for a moment...

He talks to Nina, he goes back to the bookshop and greets Crowley and gets an armful of plants. The Bentley is largely the focus of the scene with Nina as well and its moving up in a scene that involves Nina and her bicycle-- another "mad 'American' woman on a bicycle", in parallel to Anathema in S1-- recalls Aziraphale miracling a bike rack onto the boot of The Bentley to transport Anathema's bike back to Jasmine Cottage. The key to getting Anathema and her bike safely home to her cottage was the bike rack Aziraphale made happen; the key to getting him and Crowley safely to the South Downs Cottage might be what Aziraphale stashed in the trunk of the car on his trip.

Here's where we can see that scenes before and around this involving Shax and Crowley show us pretty emphatically where the briefcase and the press hat are not located in the car...

They can't be on the passenger seat as they were on the way to Edinburgh because Shax wouldn't have been able to sit there when she got into the car on the drive back from Edinburgh. They also can't be in the backseat because the scene adjacent to Aziraphale's return to London is he and Crowley loading the plants back into the backseat. Crowley would have handed him his things if they were back there.

So, we have all of these shots of Aziraphale's return that are, among other things, emphasizing that the hat, the raincoat, and the briefcase are all not things he's taking out of The Bentley's trunk upon his return, even if they are his belongings and he brought them with him from the bookshop. He's intentionally leaving them all in the Crowley's car.

Aziraphale definitely did not leave his memories in a briefcase in The Resurrectionist Pub, even though that's the last place we saw the briefcase. How do we know that?

Because let's say that we're right here and Aziraphale did put his memories into the briefcase... either into something else that he then locked into the briefcase or just into the briefcase itself. What's the one problem with this?

He locked them in there for safekeeping, right? So...

He can't just leave the briefcase for Crowley-- he also needs to leave the key to the briefcase, yes? He needs to leave the combination somewhere... but he also has to hide that combination key. The briefcase wouldn't be very safe if just anyone could figure out how to open it, right? It needs to be something only Crowley can understand.

This is why Aziraphale is not a private detective in Edinburgh but a journalist because the key is in the hat.

How does one open the locked briefcase?

Press 66. 😉

The briefcase and the hat go together because the briefcase cannot be opened without the press credentials in the hat which, in very Good Omens and Crowley & Aziraphale form, look like they're one thing but are really another when you consider alternate meanings of words. Aziraphale knows that only Crowley would see Aziraphale's hat atop that briefcase and the 'Press 66' and work out that it's how to open the briefcase.

It would also be very Good Omens to nod to famous film Macguffins and then make them actually important in Good Omens' story. While a "what's in the briefcase?" thing here is very Pulp Fiction, the film that inspired the briefcase in Pulp Fiction is 1955's atomic noir Kiss Me Deadly, which is being referenced all over the place in S2.

The scene where Aziraphale picks Shax up from the side of the road is a homage to Kiss Me Deadly's opening scene, Gabriel's memory issues and his "I am in The Fly" note is similar to part of the central mystery of that film, and Kiss Me Deadly is the origin of the popularization of the word vavoom/va-va-voom.

Like basically every other film referenced in Good Omens, it's also known for innovative use when it comes to language-- particularly, coded cinematic language, in this case. Like North by Northwest, which is referenced in both parts of 1941 so far, Kiss Me Deadly found innovative ways to get around the Hays Code to tell its story. References to The Maltese Falcon in the story are also likely in relation to that story using etymology-based language to queer code aspects of its story, in a similar way to Good Omens, but also that The Maltese Falcon itself is a bit of a MacGuffin. In Good Omens, though, it seems like they're actually winking at those by making Macguffin-alluding things actually important parts of the story.

Anyway, the biggest fan theory about what's in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction is based around the combination to the briefcase being 666 in the film and the idea is that it's Marcellus Wallace's soul, which he sold to the devil. Famously, the audience never sees what's inside the briefcase. We might be saying here that the combination to Aziraphale's briefcase being 66 may be nodding to Pulp Fiction's briefcase a bit and hinting at the Satan in The Final 15 ideas. 66 is also tied to Route 66 and rock 'n roll in America, Buddy Holly, and the paralleling Gabriel & Beez flashback, maybe especially hinting at memory-related things happening with the briefcase.

I won't spoil you on what's in the briefcase in Kiss Me Deadly but let's just say that it goes along with Good Omens pretty well thematically... in a much, much darker way. The film being very bleak noir makes it very different in tone from Good Omens but the fact that the briefcase is actually is relevant to the story in the end of that film might also hint that Aziraphale's disappeared briefcase might wind up being important in The Finale, too.

Adding to this theory is also that another briefcase in The Bentley's trunk/boot was also something shown earlier in S2-- on a very significant night in Crowley & Aziraphale's history:

When Aziraphale is in Edinburgh, we see him intentionally hamming up his newspaper man persona and, in doing so, he takes the briefcase into The Resurrectionist Pub, right? Bit of foreshadowing there as to what will happen to Aziraphale and what will need to happen to bring him back?

Yes, we don't see the briefcase again after this scene but I doubt he left it in the pub because it would be useless to Crowley without the hat, on which Aziraphale has hidden the briefcase combination hidden in plain sight. Aziraphale was seen wearing the hat in one scene set after we last saw the briefcase, proving that both of them and the raincoat are in the trunk of The Bentley:

Aziraphale wore this whole get up to Edinburgh so that, if anyone was watching him, they'd think he was Muriel-like cosplaying a newspaper man. I mean... we know the trench coat is a little Columbo-esque, but why wouldn't he just be a private detective and not a journalist, if the goal was just to play a role to help solve the Gabriel mystery? Because he had to be a old movie-esque journalist so he could have the word press there in the credentials, only for its other meaning for the briefcase combination.

Aziraphale definitely had a whole other list of motivations for being the one to go to Edinburgh. He wanted Crowley to rest in the shop and to talk to Gabriel, he wanted to be the one to go tackle the mystery, and he wanted to work on his 1827 issues by going to the graveyard again... but we might find we can add to that list that he also realized it would be a good opportunity to hide his memories in a briefcase in The Bentley with actions that are right there, in plain sight of anyone who is watching-- including us 😉-- but might not be deemed suspicious.

Parallel-wise, the briefcase and The Bentley are the matchbox and the moving box and PRESS 66 is Aziraphale's equivalent to I AM IN THE FLY... all before Aziraphale and Crowley actually figured out what Gabriel and Beez did to protect Gabriel.

He's pressing on the press hat he's leaving for Mr. Six Shots of Espresso... 😂 The press card is in his hat, like a feather... Crowley's "it'd be a real feather in your cap wing" joke from the foreshadowing "I'll be damned"/"It's not so bad when you get used to it" scene in 1.01...

That demon doesn't know it yet but he's driving around with Aziraphale in the trunk because Aziraphale figured out how to get around the worst case scenario. He knew he was on a collision course with falling and he found a way to potentially dodge the memory loss by stashing his memories for Crowley in The Bentley.

His enthusiasm in Edinburgh is him barely able to contain his amusement at getting one over on anyone watching him who think they know what they're seeing but don't realize what he's actually up to.

No wonder why he was walking on air when he got back to London-- it was mission accomplished. He'd managed to leave Crowley the ability to bring him back, tucked away in the safest spot possible.

The bookseller who, like the others, is a metaphorical book/paper, left their out for Heaven and Hell trying to kill him for Crowley's safekeeping in a briefcase... the thing people use for...

...paperwork. 😂

But wait... there's one other big question, though, yes?

Why didn't Aziraphale tell Crowley this?

There absolutely was enough time and opportunity to tell Crowley he'd backed up his memories and left them in The Bentley's trunk.

The fact that this didn't come up seems wild, right, because they both know that Crowley has been having a steady anxiety attack about Heaven and Hell circling all week. We would think that, if Aziraphale had figured out this plan to circumvent that threat, the first thing he would have done would be to tell Crowley about it, yes?

Except... while I wrote this meta from the perspective of what the end result of Aziraphale's actions with the briefcase might be in The Finale, I don't actually think that was Aziraphale's own motivation for doing what he did.

Aziraphale didn't take out his memories and leave them in the briefcase in The Bentley for Crowley as a backup plan for them to elude a form of death for Aziraphale.

He left them there for Crowley to find and have after Aziraphale was already gone. Why else would Crowley need the combination on the credentials on the hat, right?

If Aziraphale had intended on his memories in the briefcase being a plan to save himself, he would have told Crowley about it so that Crowley would know. Instead, though, it's something of a suicide note. He left them for Crowley to find and have in the future.

I think The Bentley was even warning of this suicide ideation and showing concern upon the return to London for Aziraphale over what he had put in its trunk. The car is worried. [I love Good Omens-- when else am I going to type a sentence like that? 😂]

Aziraphale first parked it in front of Battye [madness] & Palm [to take]. It's a shop reflective of a lot of that depression and suicide ideation happening in Aziraphale's story and leading to his fall that I looked at in The Devil Takes The Hindmost.

The Bentley then drives itself-- and all Aziraphale's Aziraphaleness in the briefcase-- up a few feet. What is The Bentley then aligning Aziraphale with?

Death.

The car parked itself in front of the Give Me Death half of Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death...

... until Aziraphale told it to go back to where he parked it. Then, The Bentley backed up a few feet to Battye & Palm and all the madness that is the rest of the season. The car was foreshadowing the end, parking itself right along where it would be parked the last time we'd see it in S2.

The trunk is aligned with Give Me Death in The Final 15...

...fulfilling the foreshadowing of the end of S1.

[nowimjustastranger]

Hello.

I am the one who asked about doing a crossover between stcmo and "You Look Like Yourself ...".

I've written a fanfiction inspired by your AUs, it's called "A chance in a billion" if you'd like to read it.

Here's the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62071840

Still love your writing.

To avoid any confusion, this work is an AU of two of my AU's mashed together and is therefore not canon to StCMO or TASB lore!

Starting off by confirming that, considering Ford 419"3 gets to other dimensions via wormholes (which travel through both space and time), it is entirely plausible that Ford 419"3 could stumble across his significantly younger twin brother in the multiverse.

The very first paragraph just really sucker punches you, especially when it's obvious that Stan is coping with humor. It sets the tone perfectly and establishes Stan's character all within a few lines of inner dialogue. The next few paragraphs give a great look into how Stan wound up in the multiverse as well as Stan and Ford's dynamic, which is clearly strained.

The fact that Stan had a gut feeling about Ford 419"3 is a nice nod to the bond between Stans and Fords, who are bound together by the universe itself to maintain balance. And Stan just straight up ditching his current Ford to go investigate Ford 419"3 is hilarious because yeah, he absolutely would.

Ugh, how soft Ford 419"3 is with Stan is everything to me, indulging him in a scan just because Stan asked him to. Ford 419"3 is a paper man for Stans, no backbone to be seen lol. And the reveal! The way Ford 419"3 just fucking freezes, which of course Stan takes as a negative reaction. The poor bby. I love how Ford 419"3 is so effortlessly gentle even when he's having and internal crisis, catching Stan's wrist in an easily breakable hold- I gdhofxzdhzzhhdgcj I'm totally normal about it, clearly.

Not possessive Ford interrupting their heartfelt reunion, lmao. Love that shit. The immediate switch from sweet and soft to deadly and homicidal is near-instant for Ford 419"3. He's extremely proficient at both close and long range combat, having trained and altered his body to better accomplish his mission. I'd even argue that, between 419"3 Ford's combat experience, body enhancements, and his ability to see into the future, he's one of the most dangerous Fords in the multiverse.

Lee to the rescue! Lee is basically the human embodiment of a chill pill. Dude has calming Ford 419"3 down to an art form, lol. I love seeing their closeness from an outsider's perspective, especially in situations where you get to see that closeness. It doesn't get much better than Ford 419"3 abruptly shifting gears and scrambling to get Lee out of the danger zone when he fearlessly puts himself between two pissed off Fords.

I'm weirdly saddened by the fact that Stan has to announce himself to the Ford he's traveling with when he touches him (and is clearly worried about being hit), but that's probably because I'm so used to Lee and Ford 419"3, who would recognize each other's touch even half dead. I'm cackling about Stan being unceremoniously hauled away though, that's top tier comedy right there.

Lee taking the lead because the Fords are currently useless in their posturing is my Roman empire. Lee is smart and resourceful, able to navigate almost any situation you throw him in.

I theorize that the Ford's aren't speaking English because they're saying some vile shit to each other and don't want Stan and Lee to overhear, lmao.

The way Lee claps back to "Scarry" with "Kiddo" made me laugh, that's so him.

Pissy Ford is being pissy, surprise surprise. Way to stalk off without even using your own scanner to confirm that you are, in fact, leaving Stan with his twin and not just some random Ford. A+ big brothering right there. Smartest dumbass alive lol.

Best believe Ford 419"3 knows that Lee's gonna be insecure about his place in Ford's life now that he found his original brother. Lee is likely to distance himself with the intention of letting the two reconnect, trying to brace himself for (in his eyes) the inevitable separation between him and Ford 419"3. There's no reason to keep Lee around anymore after all, right? Wrong bro. So wrong. Ford's got two younger brothers now as far as he's concerned.

Everything about their interaction in the nest makes me so warm and fuzzy, Stan's finally getting the contact and care that he craves. I am a puddle, your honor. I eagerly look forward to more! I'll be re-reading this often, I can already tell. Thank you for writing this!!!

[thehollowwriter]

I've been thinking about Nkulu and what he would sound like and how he would talk. He's got a heavy Xhosa accent when he speaks English or Japanese, and he uses a lot South African slang because though one parent was originally from (twst) Brazil, he was born and raised in (twst) South Africa which I think is at least in the Afterglow Savanah.

I thought I'd share some examples of slang, cause I think it would be fun to share with everyone and I don't really use South African slang online (I also think it's funny how confusing some of them can be. It feels like opposite day)

☆"Just now/now now"

The second one especially makes it sound like you mean right now at this second, but here it could be anytime between right now and tomorrow. "Go wash the dishes" "Yeah I'll do it now now" and "now now" could be in half an hour. Who knows.

☆"Shame"

Though it is used when expressing pity a lot ("Ag, shame that's terrible") it's also used in a positive way, mostly when referring to cute things. "Look at that kitten!" "Aww shame man." So uh dw we're not insulting your kitten/j

☆"Ja, nee:"

"Ja nee" is just "yes, no" in Afrikaans, and it's generally used similarly to "okay"/ to confirm or agree with something or to disagree with something. "Where you there yesterday?" Yeah, no, I was there." "The movie was good, right?" "Ja, nee I was a bit disappointed." Or just "Ja nee, I don't know."

☆"Jislaaik"

Pronounced "Yislike." Jislaaik is an Afrikaans expression of amazement, shock, or surpise. "Jislaaik that looks cool"

☆"Haibo"

(Hi-boh) This is a Zulu term that has a ton of meanings, but can basically be boiled down to an exclamation of surpise, shock, or disbelief. "Haibo, what happened?!"

☆"Yebo"

(Yeah-boh) Another Zulu term, this one means yes. However it's usually used as a very energetic and excited way of saying yes. "Hey, wanna hang out?" "Yebo!" "Hey, hey!" "Yebo?"

☆"Ag, nee man"

"Ag" is basically "Oh" (pronounced like how Germans pronounce "ach", according to Google, bc I literally have no idea how to describe the sound for G in Afrikaans sbsbdndn) "Nee, man" means "No, man." in Afrikaans. The man is pronounced "mun" kinda. The phrase is essentially a way of expressing frustration, pity, or disgust. "Ag nee man, did he really do that?"

☆"Eish"

Eish (E-sh) It's an expression of surpise for a lot of things line frustration, surpise, regret, or sympathy. (you can see we have a lot of those lol) "Eish man, that sucks."

☆"Lekker!"

(Leck-ir) There's no English equivalent for this word, but basically it's an informal Afrikaans word that has a lot of meanings depending on the context. It can mean something's great, cool, yummy, etc. "Oh, that food looks lekker." "Lekker braai, neh?" (A braai is basically a barbeque but we only cook with charcoal and it makes everything taste amazing. "Neh" is basically just our "Eh")

-

So yeah that's my little list of slang words! I hope you guys found it interesting!

Tagging: @distant-velleity @br3adtoasty @rainesol @theleechyskrunkly @jovieinramshackle

@galaxies-and-gore @cyanide-latte @cynthinesia @officialdaydreamer00 @krenenbaker

@offorestsongs @kitwasnothere @elenauaurs @boopshoops @inotonline

@1dont-really-know @kazumify @minteasketches @elysia-nsimp @skrimpyskimpy

@casp1an-sea @offorestsongs @tixdixl @poisoned-pearls @the-trinket-witch

@ramshacklerumble @ghostiidasponk @thegoldencontracts @sillyslipperybananapeel @cloudcountry

@skriblee-ksk @twstinginthewind @lumdays @theolivetree123 @natsukishinomiyaswife

@authoruio @jewelulu @raguiras @moonyasnow @skibidibabygirl

@quartztwst @yuizenihaswriten @devosin @oya-oya-okay @b0njourbeach

@kirans-wonderland @coffinkissez @idikeis @s-t-y-x @tixdixl

[for-hunger]

This was the WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN (and I watch ~10 movies per month)

Literally everything about it was offensively bad, and I have to write this out somewhere.

Despite it being a "musical," there was not one single moment that someone sang in tune. Instead, it was this strange singsong rap-like speaking, often seemingly intentionally off-key. The lyrics were google-quality translations and inexplicable turns of phrase ("free like her scent"?). I've heard a few reviewers describe this as "operatic" in style, which is frankly a huge insult to opera. This has nothing in common with sprechstimme or any other actual musical forms.

The lead character's "redemption arc" as a former cartel boss was having her start a nonprofit that found victims of the cartels, funded by corrupt politicians. For anyone who has read even like, one thing about the complicated nature and history of the drug trade, disappearances, and femicide in Latin America, it's deeply offensive to imply that this shit could be solved so simply, and with the involvement of the government, and wild that you would choose the character of a former cartel boss (with no character development or holding her accountable) as the one to do it.

THEY HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT EMILIA SOLVED ONE OF THE MOST NOTORIOUS CRIMES IN MODERN MEXICAN HISTORY, THE AYOTZINAPA DISAPPEARANCES. This is where I started yelling at the tv. A woman comes up to Emilia in a market and tells her about her missing son who was a teenager training to be a teacher and went missing on a school trip and then it cuts to Emilia's workers digging up a mass grave

They presented Emilia post-transition as a woman who has her angry man self living inside her. When she gets angry at her ex-wife, she "regresses", yelling abuse at her and physically attacking her. She lapses into her strange husky pre-transition "man voice" and facial expressions. She continues this affectation for the next handful of scenes. Btw the actress does not pull this off because she's obviously a glamorous older bougie Spanish lady

The narrative was deeply uninterested in the characters, to the point where it felt like the movie was just a series of expositionary plot points. For example, when they gave Emilia a girlfriend, there was no information on why they came to be involved, either of their lesbianism, etc.

Emilia meets her girlfriend because her nonprofit finds her husband's body, but he was abusive, so this woman shows up scared and ready to defend herself. Just kind of wild to be like "oh yeah but some of the people disappeared weren't innocent either lol"

When they presented Emilia pre-transition, they put these strange prosthetics and fake beard on her, seemingly partially to make her look less white lmao

The "cartel" scenes were of all of them partying outside, children playing in the dirt, couch outside in the middle of the desert??, despite the boss having unlimited wealth. It was very like, Hollywood Al-Qaeda

No one spoke Mexican Spanish. Selena Gomez slurred her words unintelligibly whenever she tried to act emotional. Really adding insult to injury when it comes to the lack of Mexican involvement in the film

When Zoe Saldana finds a doctor to do Emilia's surgeries, he's randomly transphobic and she has to talk him into doing them by making a speech about "society"?

Emilia gets top, bottom, and FFS, all at once, and in Tel Aviv. Which first: that's not how you do that, and second: given the timing, I'm pretty sure this was sponsored by the Israeli government

I'm not even going to go into the vaginoplasty song. That was honestly the most fun I had the whole movie.

The movie ends with Emilia dead in the trunk of a car. She's locked in there for the entirety of the last scene and says basically nothing of substance before that. Just really bothered me that you throw your protagonist out like that.

To be fair, after the scenes of her nonprofit started (2/3 of the way in) I mostly watched like the first 30 seconds of every scene and then skimmed through because it was getting physically painful

The fact that people actually think this is a movie worth watching is really evidence of how fucking BAFFLINGLY stupid people are. I'm glad the backlash is already starting to ramp up, but I need to see this shit buried.

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK 🗣️

[local-maenad]

Being spoiled about Porter does actually enhance my viewing of Fantasy High ngl like I wish I found out myself because it would feel so much more satisfying (and hilarious). But there’s something so funny about Fig/Emily going off about this hunch of her’s. It’s literally just one of the many running jokes they have. It’s been lasting for what it seems, like two whole seasons, only for her to have been right this entire time 💀💀. This girl was going off a technically unproven idea … and she was right??!?!

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 271

“Grandmother is visiting,” Damian suddenly said with no warning and with his usual not-quite demanding tone. 

“Who?” Tim wasn’t the only one to startle, seeing as Bruce had practically froze, a downturn to his lips in a silent show of confusion. 

Damian scowled. “Are you deaf Drake? Grandmother is coming to Gotham to, quote, make sure I am being properly cared for.” None of them had known that Ras was with anyone actually. At least Tim was pretty sure that would have been in the files. 

“Oh?” Dick didn’t quite crouch to Damian’s height but it was a near thing. “She-” “He,” Damian corrected, interrupting him. They all exchanged a glance before Dick continued. 

“Is he coming to the Manor or…” 

Damian scoffed again, a tiny bit of a flush against his face. “No, Grandmother will most likely be staying with Akhi-”

Now wait one moment-

“YOU HAVE ANOTHER BROTHER?!” 

[vaguely-concerned]

just for fun this time during 'sea of blood' I counted out all the venatori corpses I think we can be pretty sure were lucanis' handiwork before we show up (not including the ones he kills in his initial cutscene, and with an assumption that he's been at work mainly up and down in the areas we move through until we find him, not behind the locked door -- I think that's mostly the work of rampaging undead and other venatori-hoisted-by-their-own-petard suchlikes). can thus happily inform you lucanis has killed at least 32 venatori before rook and company get there. at least one of them he's impaled on their own weird crystal spike things the venatori mages cast as an AOE attack and that they're trying to keep him contained with when we find him. so he's clearly been keeping busy lol. that's my boy dispensing poetic justice and claiming some enrichment in his enclosure while he's at it good for him!

[shaadowmilkcookie]

he

[do-you-know-this-adhd-character]

Do you know this (noncanon) ADHD character?

Evidence below the cut!

can be pretty hyperactive, forgets things regularly (even important things, forgot he turned into a heartless in kh1), distractable, later on he seems to have some problems with emotional dysregulation. hes constantly called lazy by his friends but as soon as hes doing something he likes he has all the energy in the world, and also tends to dismiss his own intelligence despite actually being pretty smart, both of which are things that i think are decently common with undiagnosed adhd

[phantom-chirp]

Never would've expected Indigo Park to have a non-binary character in it but that's pretty neat

Already seen people throwing tantrums about it or being really weird about Salem due to that though, which is very irritating but I hope all those people get so mad about it that they stop playing the game and leave the fandom :)

[yellllowstar]

slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery

(creature by half•alive)

(textless + timelapse below cut)

[little-cereal-draws]

Mike is almost always dying.

Almost struck by lightning, got stuck on the roof, fell off a drainpipe, got locked in the safe, got stuck in that inflatable plastic ball (twice), considered jumping out the window, almost was exploded by a landmine, and I’m sure there are a few more im forgetting abt

Alison either never finds out or shows up right at the very end and misses all the real danger. I wonder how much she knows abt what Mike does all day

[cranberrymoons]

.

[redbean-nom]

watched the first 2 episodes of acolyte and so far i like every character except for the main one lol. (also is her name osha as in occupational safety and health administration??)

[mosquitinho]

an important fact abt me is that this ^ chicken-esque thing is.my #1 most precious baddest bitch of all time. shes part of a 2000s kinder egg toy collection full of elite beautiful girls and recently i found a guy who sells the entire collection... so soon the entire gang will be reunited....Fuck yes.........!!!!