ihadtomakethisaccount - Tumblr blog

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

The funniest thing about biphobia is that when it's directed towards men it's just homophobia and when it's directed towards women it's just misogyny. But the woke kind so it's actually okay

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

Team green after Viserys kicked the bucket.

House Targaryen is a fucking nightmare. :)

Inspired by this:

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

I WISH THINGS HAD TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY!!!!!!!!! goes to the supermarket

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

how it feels knowing that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

do NOT think about jaehaera targaryen that shit will kill you.

do NOT think about how this little girl saw her twin being murdered, saw her mother fall deeper and deeper into depression. how this little girl saw her father rage and drink and then burn and fall from the sky.

do NOT think about how she didn’t see him for so long while he was recovering. how she, maelor and aegon ran from king’s landing, how scary that must’ve been.

do NOT think about how scared and alone jaehaera must‘ve felt like the entire war. not knowing who in her family lived and who didn’t maybe it would‘ve been better not to know.

do NOT think about how jaehaera and aegon met up again in king’s landing. how she probably didn’t recognize him. how she learned her brother and mother and uncles were dead.

do NOT think about how she must‘ve felt like after aegon was poisoned. how her grandmother asked her to slit another child‘s throat. do not think about her marriage. do not think about how she fell and what came after.

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

to me one of grrm's biggest screw-ups is not letting gaemon and jaehaera grow into adulthood, because the dynamics those two could have with aegon lend themselves to so much.

you're aegon iii and you're forced to marry the daughter of the man who killed your mother and your brothers. her only friend is her dragon and you hate dragons because one killed your mother in front of you and two others killed your brothers. she hates you and would kill you if that didn't mean her own demise. your best friend is also a son of aegon ii, but he hates him too, as he is responsible for the death of his mothers, he was a pretender, he is a nice kid who wants to help people just like you. he's the only one that understands you.

you're jaehaera, your father won the war, but you're forced to become the wife of the son of the man who killed your twin, the woman who put a bounty on your other brother's head and who drove your mother to suicide. your grandmother, the only family you have left, is crazy with grief, she wants you to kill aegon. you're just a child. your dragon is a wretched delicate thing, just like you, your husband hates it. he is afraid of it, it makes you happy. your only brother (if he is your brother) doesn't like you, he spends all his time with aegon, you try to bond with him, but he is not jaehaerys. he will never be.

you're gaemon, son of a whore, bastard of a king. you were the hope of the smallfolk, a path for liberation, but the royals came and they killed your moms. now you're their pet, their tool to avoid being poisoned. you love aegon, he shares the same wounds as you, but you resent him, he is using your body, your life, that's what you smallfolk are for the royals, just pawns in their little games. maybe you're tired of it. then viserys comes back and you're discarded, not longer a friend, but just a tool. jaehaera claims she's your sister, but she isn't, aegon is nothing to you, she creeps you out, she understands what being a hostage is.

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

Artists who know how to draw armors or very detailed clothing are powerful

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

Prince Regent Aemond Targaryen and his sidekick, minimond princess Jaehaera Targaryen 🥺

[REPOSTED WITH PERMISSION. ART BY CRAZYTOM]

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

from the moment i understood the weakness of my flesh I was like man, come on...

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

Helaena's prophecies: *Usually vague and hard to interpret*

Helaena's prophecy about Aemond: Aemond Targaryen will die in the Gods Eye on August 30th, 2024 at 6:33 p.m. Central Standard Time. It will be cloudy that day, with a 60% chance of rain.

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

IDGAF if the women in my fiction are empowering or aspirational, I'm an adult, I don't need role models, I want the women in my fiction to be interesting, and if that involves being pathetic, hypocritical, amoral, or trapped in a delightfully dysfunctional relationship so be it

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

“come with me”

ASKDJJSKSJ i genuinely collapsed btw x

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

speaking of america’s favorite fruit (not optional) i love applerankings.com so fucking much. absolute necessity for any real Appleheads out there

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

"why can't two guys/girls just be friends 😡😡😡" why can't you go and get a fucking job

[ihadtomakethisaccount]

the tragedy of rhaenyra and alicent is that they cannot ever truly see the other without destroying the foundations of their own self-image. rhaenyra cannot see alicent as a child married to a man old enough to be her father because that’s rhaenyra’s father. and the image she has of both viserys as a just and kind man and of herself as the beloved daughter of that man would collapse under the weight of that realisation. the resentment she holds against alicent would have to turn upon viserys. if she recognised that viserys treats alicent little better than a broodmare, she would have to realise that fundamentally that is all her mother was to him too. if she understood why alicent was disgusted by her marrying daemon she would have to see herself not as someone with agency marrying a man she loved who happened to be her uncle but as someone manipulated and groomed since childhood. the agency she clings to, which is so important to how she sees herself, would be revealed as an illusion. by extension she would have to see her family as one in which the familial is warped almost beyond repair. her self-image, so rooted in targaryen exceptionalism, would collapse.

likewise alicent cannot fully grasp why rhaenyra was so upset that she married viserys because she would have to fully see viserys not as the king but her friend’s father. she would have to face the horror of her life head on. moreover she would have to see viserys in her own father. for her to accept that rhaenyra is not selfish or undutiful for having affairs and trying to carve out whatever agency she can, the pedestal on which alicent places duty would have to be destroyed. she would have to realise that duty is only as important as she believes it to be, that it has no meaningful moral weight to it, and that all of her suffering has been for nothing. alicent tells herself that her sadness is a condition of her existence, as a woman, a mother, a daughter, and that by trying to claw whatever happiness she can from the world rhaenyra has turned her back on all of those things; she is the wrong kind of woman. if she could ever accept that rhaenyra had slept around and birthed bastards without judgement the core of alicent’s identity as a good mother/wife/queen would collapse. she would have to face the reality that nothing that happened to her was justified, and crucially that her submissiveness at every turn was not noble or good and was never going to let her win, but only trapped her further. every cognitive barrier she has built up to protect herself and provide some sort of meaning to a life in which she has only ever really suffered would have to shatter.

and they both realise these things to some extent, rhaenyra knows that viserys is flawed and fallible because she’s experienced his mistakes firsthand (and she is definitely aware of daemon’s violence) and in many ways alicent is so viciously judgemental of rhaenyra’s choices because she wants that level of freedom so desperately for herself, and they so clearly love each other still that they both want to believe there’s something good in the other. but they bury those doubts under layers and layers of cognitive dissonance so they don’t have to face deeply painful realities, because neither of them can truly see the other without destroying themselves.