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shallowrambles · 1 year ago

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More @crackdkettle - I wrote you earlier and squirreled off so badly from your points I almost chickened out posting this. But this conversation is just too much fun, so please take my veering with a sense of fun? Don't feel obligated to respond to my babbling, haha, and thanks for your points. #interesting points all around#also makes me rethink 'i left but you didn't stop me'#because when has dean ever been able to stop cas from leaving?#it's more like 'i left but you didn't /try/ to stop me' via @crackdkettle

"I left but you didn't (try) to stop me" Ah, I hadn't that of that. But you're right. Typically, Cas does have the upper hand when it comes to going-and-coming-home, as well as the means of communication. It becomes a little more equal over time, but the general dynamic remains. Dean is shown to call Cas more often, at least from what we can see on-screen. Throughout the course of the series, sometimes, we find a frantic Dean, desperately calling Cas multiple times in a row. On the flipside, I think the only time we ever see Cas not getting through to Dean on the phone is in Last Call, when Dean and Cas are not actively speaking to one another (and well, Cas has been ignoring Sam and Dean on the front end of the season.)

It's true. Cas leaves a lot. As for your #but also why would he when eleven years of experience have taught him cas would just leave anyway?#'i should have stopped you' bro HOW#(also the only reason cas even lays out why he's leaving is because dean asks 'where are you going?' I will say that although there's been a decade of complications, Cas has always tried to be there in meaningful ways, on the whole, despite Purgatory and Heaven and Hell and Gadreels actively standing in the way. Somehow, Dean and Cas have seen through the complex nature of their families and obligations and decided to come to the same kitchen table with an understanding of those challenges.

Because, while Cas may leave, Cas always comes back, and Dean is always waiting for him, even when he can't communicate that to Cas directly. And on the whole, Cas's presence and communication style has been good for Dean in particular (analysis). That said, I think Cas's particular kind of steadfastness will set a devastating precedent after Cas's "final" death. No matter how hard he tries not to hope, Dean will wake up every morning expecting Cas to come walking through that bunker door. He will sit next to the phone, waiting for Cas to call. It will (does?) wind up being an active detriment to Dean's grieving, and I suspect Dean hangs in a kind of weird grieving limbo because of it.

///

Anyways, now I'm going to veer wildly from your points and talk out loud to myself...

Early season 15 definitely hurts To be fair, a lot of bad shit just went down. They're reeling. 💔Not only did Cas's father egg on and manipulate Sam and Dean to kill Jack, but then when they didn't do what he wanted, Cas's father turned around and actually...murdered Jack anyway.

Cas is the one who called him. How devastating! And then, Chuck emptied Hell to torture them and told them that he'd be ending the world once and for all! That's so awful just when you isolate and consider Chuck on his own! Cas asked him for help and he-UGH. Chuck is such a fucking sadist.

///

The script is better than what aired It's a little unfair for me to analyze it, but I think it gives such a good window into Dean's headspace! After TFW flees to the crypt, Dean is instinctually reaching for Cas and looking TO him as a source of strength.

He's trying to move towards him and mend the bond in tiny ways, puffing up and saying things like he "always thought Chuck was squirrelly" and that, "maybe we can bring Jack back, I don't know." These scenes in the scripts were incredibly well-written:

Dean is keeping an eye on Cas. He's maybe worried Cas won't leave Jack's body. It's intense. At one point, it seems like Dean is trying to jolt Cas into moving. He doesn't want to lose him, too, and he needs Cas's strength and support right now.

///

From above: As Dean turns-- DEAN: Cas! Move! On Cas. Hearing that-- his eyes go to Jack's body. And we cut to-- ... He pushes inside, Dean right behind, holding the door open, as he looks back to see-- CAS. Carrying JACK'S body. The dead chasing him-- DEAN: Come on! Come on! The dead are closing in! At the last possible second-- Cas slides inside! WHAM! And Dean slams the door!

///

And just like we saw in Byzantium when Jack died (analysis), Dean isn't quite processing everything. He's, again, instinctually reaching for Cas to make it all better (analysis). It's because of that pesky, lingering, intensely spousal protector dynamic. Cas is the one who hurt him, but he's also the one who heals him, and he's panicking. If Cas isn't present in the moment, Dean seems on the verge of a meltdown:

From above: On Cas. Looking to Jack's body. Devastated by the loss of his surrogate son. A beat, then-- DEAN: Cas? Cas? Cas looks to Dean-- DEAN: Ideas? Can you, I dunno, smite our way outta here? CAS: No, I-- there are so many, they'd overwhelm even me.

In this moment, despite everything, Dean is pathetically asking, "Cas, can you fix it?" (I have an aside on that one, too). It's that spouse-coded burdening. (The, "I put on you what I can't take," of it all.)

/// Despite their hurt, they're initially clinging together We get Dean and Cas throwing some barbs, but they're still talking to one another. Dean starts to rationalize and cover the situation, and he starts smack-talking Chuck.

CAS: I can't starve to death. DEAN: Good for you. As they're talking, Sam starts to move...studying the room-- DEAN: Chuck-- I knew there was something wrong about him-- I always knew. He didn't-- Dean's covering-- but he keeps going-- DEAN: He's just squirrelly, and always with the robe, and the smile that's like half-nice, half-creepoid...

This much is true; Chuck is creepy. Chuck is sexually fixated on Dean's robe in season 11, and Lilith sort-of confirms in early season 15. Anyway, although we get Dean and Cas throwing some shade, Dean's trying to awkwardly reconnect with Cas. It's not a great look, as he could be open about his mistake in trusting Chuck, but it's real, and I think it speaks to where his headspace is at. He's searching for a lightness and a common ground, and it actually starts to work. They start to clump together mere moments later.

Dean panics and flounders, and he asks Cas for help. Cas is stoic, but he gives it.

From above: DEAN: Cas. Little help. Castiel moves in, grabbing the stone and tossing it to one side. Revealing DIRT underneath. Then-- DEAN (panicking): Son of a bitch! One of the dead rips up from the dirt-- decayed and covered in filth. It lets out an inhuman scream. CRUNCH! And Cas drops the flagstone on it! Crushing the undead. Dean looks at what's left of the thing (a hand sticking out), then to Cas-- DEAN: Thanks. CAS nods-- welcome.

///

So, this is an odd scene. Why was it written this way, at any point in the script? What's actually happening here? Well, in his panic, Dean is acting out, to the point of being loud. And then, Cas is overdoing the strength aspect, throwing his weight around. Thanks; welcome. This was a silent communication and a show of support. If Chuck saw this, it's no wonder he'd send in Belphegor to sew discord at that moment. They're already trying to mend their bond. That's not acceptable! /// Enter Belphegor Ah, Belphegor. Cas gets to see just how painful it is to see a loved one get possessed, and it hurts more than he ever expected it to. (Sam and Dean, on the other hand, have acclimated to that sort of pain, somewhat.)

Dean knows they need help, so he accepts it, with Sam backing his play. This keeps Cas from having to carry a body, and it gets them out of the crypt. Cas balks at these interactions, of course, because he needs more time to grieve Jack. He's not ready to move on to the mission. In this way, he's mirroring Dean from Absence and Moriah. In those episodes, it was Cas who moved into mission-mode, to dangle Jack before Dumah and push the issue, when Dean wasn't ready to move into mission mode. He needed more time to grieve Mary.

The tragedy of it all is that none of them have time to grieve, and there's no great options. The remaining fam are rapidly trying to usher the rest of them into safety, and it just doesn't work well at all. It gets painful and ugly real quick. Ugh.

From above: BAM! Another undead hits the door. It shudders... DEAN: We need help, and...Jack-- maybe we get him back again, I don't know. I hope so.

///

Hell, again. And then, TFW has to field marshal another stupid war effort. They all jump into crisis mode, and Dean ices Cas out. Dean moves into field marshal mode and urges Cas to go with Belphegor, as his muscle. And here's where it gets awkward. Although they're all undertaking soldierly risks, even Dean, Dean and Cas are on the rocks right now; and Dean doesn't get the privilege to just offer Cas's help to others. Dean neither has his field marshal-ally privileges nor spousal privileges at the moment and so it hits awkwardly, like someone pressing on a broken bone.

///

Cas snaps And then-- Cas loses his temper. He burns Jack's body to a crisp. Weapon, too.

Cas, wrathful, is wailing on Bel. Punch! Punch! Barely conscious, Bel mutters through bloody lips, his head lolls...the sunglasses fall from his face, revealing his burnt-out sockets. Barely alive, he looks just like Jack's body again. His hand starts to GLOW. Brighter and BRIGHTER...BAM! And Castiel SMITES him! A turbo-charged rage-and-grief smiting as light blasts from Bel's mouth-- his eyes-- taking us to whiteout-- --and back in. To the dimness of the lair. Bel CHARRED on the floor. Cas sees the toasted remains of his son-- winded, wracked with grief...sees Lilith's Crook in Bel's charred fist. Crushed. Broken. On Cas, gutted. Betrayed by Bel-- haunted-- and now he's let his friends down. Off Cas-- DESTROYED--

So, here's a revelation about Cas's powers and angelic powers in general. Like with Lucifer in season 13, we see that Cas's anger causes a spike in power, like when Lucifer broke Asmodeus's warding.

Since angelic power can be volatile, and dangerous, Cas is instinctively leaning into his time-honored coping mechanism: avoidance. Shutdown. He has to. Otherwise, he's probably going to hurt someone. The unspoken truth is this: He doesn't have the emotional control to use his powers. Perhaps Cas's composure isn't just for his own benefit; perhaps it's a MUST for angels in terms of wielding their powers safely. And yet, here we see what happens when Cas gives into his more volatile emotions, and we actually have a mated scene to Jack's blowup of Mary. Cas can also become out of control.

And just like with Mary's body, now there's nothing left to even try to bring Jack back. It's hidden up there, with the, "he looks just like Jack's body again." As Belphegor fades away, Jack's death became "real" again.

Belphegor's presence was all about delaying Cas and Dean's acceptance of the reality of Jack's death.

When Cas destroyed Jack's body, so too did Cas get "DESTROYED." He made Jack's death "real." He also accidentally made it "final."

///

The blame game So, Rowena dies. Suddenly, there are dead allies and dead family all around them, and they're angry with each other for not providing a magic balm to each other's pains.

The support evaporates, making the grief that much more devastating. There's so much hurt and blame!

DEAN: Sorry...you're sorry... (then) Rowena died because of you. Cas winces at that-- CAS: That's not-- DEAN: None of this would've happened if you'd just stuck with the damn plan!

This is a real fight. And like all real fights, it's not just surface level. "Sorry, you're sorry?" is a frustration that Cas is sorry for the wrong things. People are dying, and none of it would've happened if Cas...what? Stuck with the plan?

No, this is about before that. "None of this would've happened," if Cas had been there, had been present. If he'd followed their partnership plan and agreement to lean on each other. If he'd been honest about Jack's deterioration. If he'd been there when they had to fight Nick Vaught and Empty!Lucifer. But Cas pulled away and hid things. Rowena is dead, but so is Mary, and so is Jack. There wasn't anything left of Mary to even try to bring her back, and now there isn't anything left of Jack to even try to bring him back. Because Cas was absent. He wasn't home, and he wasn't present for mutual decision-making. (Dean has to focus on this, or else he'll blame himself, for letting Michael escape in the first place.) And when you "dig your heels in" like this, and let the pain take over, sometimes you say ugly things you can never really take back, like this:

CAS: The plan had to change. Something went wrong. You know this--something always goes wrong-- DEAN: Yeah? Why is that something always you? On CAS-- taking the hit. A beat, then, with the full force of realization, searching Dean's face-- CAS: I'm dead to you. DEAN flinches-- reminded of his harsh words to Cas in Absence. CAS: It doesn't matter what I say-- you'll always blame me. (off Dean's look) Ever since Mary's death-- you've been cold. I told you I couldn't work with Belphegor, you volunteer me for the job. My powers are failing, Dean-- I couldn't heal Ketch-- you don't even care, I... Dean SCOFFS, rejecting Cas's words-- but Cas doesn't back down.

Cas has a lot of points, and emotionally, he's right in many ways. They're not there for one another right now. They can't be. But why is Dean scoffing and rejecting Cas's words? Probably because, while Dean was cold with his words, Cas was initially the one who started being cold with his actions. Dean's cruelty comes from mean words, but Cas's cruelty is structural. It can even lurch into being unfairly hierarchal due to the human-angel divide. Cas withdrew from Dean and kept him in the dark re:Jack. Cas went off to meet Anael and didn't check his phone. Cas had good intentions to save the family unit. (But the fact is, there are lots of times Cas has been indirectly cold and distant with his well-intentioned actions.)

So, yeah. Dean scoffs and rejects Cas's words here. Of course he does.

As for Belphegor, Dean had something similar happen to him. He needed more time to grieve Mary, and Sam and Cas pushed him to get on the battlefield anyway. Dean said he wasn't good with soulless Sam, and Cas pushed him to "just parent" Jack.

Dean needed time after Mary's funeral, and Cas ran off to entice Heaven to snatch up Jack, which indirectly led to Jack committing war crimes on their behalf.

It's a mess all around, but Cas is feeling so hurt by Jack's death that he's oversimplifying things. Dean's still reeling from the deaths, too. It'd be weird if they could see straight right now.

Here, as they get space to breathe for the first time in a long while, reality is finally setting in. Their home is in shambles, and both of them played a part in destroying it, and neither of them can fix it or console each other about it. ///

Cas's powers As for Cas's powers, Cas's powers are failing because he's shutting down. It's like a pilot who so desperately needs to be off the battlefield that he gets psychosomatic blindness in order to accomplish it.

And of course Dean cares. He couldn't help but coldly check in on Cas throughout the past few episodes, reaching for him even as they both had their quills out. /// Cas's tendency to act unilaterally It's hard for Dean to hear Cas's words, too. Because when Cas talks about "the plan," that's a stand-in for their partnership. The plan had to change, Cas said. And the issue with that is Cas so often unilaterally changes that plan without being a partner.

Here, Cas didn't actually have time to check in with Dean about that plan, but it's still striking at the core of Cas's tendencies to act on his own. It's dragging the issue up to the surface, like a bloated corpse.

The conversation keeps ricocheting back and forth. It's about the obvious things and the unsaid, unseen things. ///

Dean's complicated desires to protect and be protected Then, there's the irrational desire of Dean's that Cas would just fix it all and shield Dean from all of it. That's something that Dean's scripted irrationality in Game 14x18 Absence accomplishes so, so well:

CAS: "Are you mad because I didn't tell you-- or that I'm telling you at all?" DEAN: "BOTH!"

It's both!!!!!

He craves Cas's protection. But he resents it, too. It's what he loves about him. It's what he hates about him. It's the power dynamic that brings him simultaneous comfort and pain.

The sad thing is, if Cas had solved Jack's soul problem on his own, Dean would have been elated and relieved. Just like how he was in total awe when Cas got the Leviathan blossom on his own. Dean was weak in the knees for it-- ready to tell Cas something big for it. It's so messy and dualistic and complicated.

///

Anyway, that protectorship of it all is complicated. That's what this spooky line is about in 15x02. Everyone everywhere is reminding Cas of his failed familial obligations. Here are the civilians in the gym, getting frustrated with Cas:

ANDY: First Nan went missing. Now Dave and Sheri. CASTIEL: We are looking for them everywhere. ANDY: You said you'd keep us safe. [Cas has no better answers for him. He pauses, closes his eyes for a moment, and then walks away]

Cas is the failed protector, the absent soldier who's trying his best to be on ALL impossible fronts: battlefield, home, marriage, work.

It's the same raw frustration we see out of a distraught Dean in 3x10:

DEAN: He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He- (DEAN steps back and swings the weapon again, hitting DREAM DEAN twice.) He's the one who let Mom die.

Cas was supposed to succeed where John failed! But it's too much weight. No one can be that strong. Not even Cas.

///

Hurt feelings & trial separation So after the Rupture conversation, they give each other space. After some reconsideration, I think this was probably the best thing for them.

They've hurt each others' feelings beyond measure. They can't talk about or grieve Jack. They can't be around each other because, similar to Dean season 13, they can't find comfort in one another. All they see when they look at one another is everything they've lost.

It's a perversion of season 13. Dean couldn't look at Jack because he reminded him of Cas. Now, very likely, Dean can't look at Cas because he reminds him of Jack. (And therefore, also what happened to Mary.)

In 15x06, Dean is obviously depressed and fatalistic AND worried. He urges Cas, "Sam's been trying to call you," and to, "Check your damn messages."

When Cas gets space, he gets clarity. Taking a step back lets him see clearly that Chuck's game is a rigged game, and he decides to fight for his human family anyway.

In Last Call, Dean sees a dark version of himself and a dark callback to Rocky's Bar, and he rejects it. Dean decides that he wants to fight for the "little guy." He's not going to give in to nihilism and stop caring.

///

Do you still want me? Then, what do you need from me? In Our Father Who Aren't in Heaven and The Trap, they're not trying to fix everything or even work through their grief about Jack yet. It's still too painful. What they seem to be trying to puzzle out is, "Do you still want me?" Dean is bitter that Cas left when he still needed him, and Cas is bitter that Dean didn't verbalize wanting him. In this way, they do succeed in telling each other what they need. Dean is signaling very strongly that he wants Cas to stay and work things out, and Cas is telling Dean his basic needs to be able to stay:

Cas tells Dean this: You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me. (If you want me to stay, I need forgiveness. I need you to try to be less angry with me. I need you to ask me to stay.)

Given all that's happened between them, I think it's okay for Cas to communicate his needs and boundaries, regardless of what happened before. It's up to Dean whether of not the ask is something he's willing to give:

And when Dean says:

DEAN: I know you're sorry, Cas. About Bel, about Mom. CAS: I was talking about Jack. I already apologized to you. You just refused to hear it.

It's also a covert conversation. Bel is the stand-in for Jack. Cas is saying in no uncertain terms that although Dean can't talk about it right now, they're going to have to talk about it. He needs to be able to talk about it. Maybe not now, but later, in private, where it's quiet and unseen. They will be talking and grieving about Jack if Cas comes back to the partnership.

Those're the terms. (They're reasonable.)

I think the interaction in The Gamblers hints that this indeed happened, later. I don't think this kind of easy acceptance of a soulless Jack back into their lives could happen in a conversationless vacuum:

Renegotiating the relationship Anyway, Dean's prayer is his acceptance of the relationship terms. He specifically answers all of Cas's requests. He tells Cas he should've stopped him from leaving. He wanted to stop him. He admits his own wrongs and part in the separation. He gives Cas the forgiveness he specifically asked for, he contextualizes his anger, and he says he's sorry (this last bit...is about Jack).

Now, the only issue with this apology is that it's not about Dean's terms in the relationship. That's okay, I think, because this part is about Cas. Dean's part would overload the prayer and take the focus off Cas, which is Dean's focus for this moment.

But why are Dean's needs missing? Dean does want Cas to stay, and Cas gets that message, loud and clear, but Dean's other needs are missing. Dean's prayer is answering all of Cas's terms. I think that's what @somnatine means when they say that The Trap and Despair feel incomplete. Dean starts to have his own say at the very end of The Trap, but Cas cuts him off. It feels one-sided and incomplete. Why is that?

Because Cas is sidestepping Dean's terms. He doesn't want to hear Dean's needs, because he instinctually knows that Dean simply needs him. It's a callback to season 8, "Cas, I need you." And now, because of the Empty deal, Dean can't have him.

Even the words of affirmation are unbearable and dangerous. Cas has to shut it down (script only):

DEAN: It's-- amazing. You did-- amazing. CAS: They're still looking for me. We should hurry-- Cas trudges to the Rift. On Dean. DEAN: Cas. I-- CAS: Dean. You don't have to.

Cas is now aware that they can be there for each other, but they can't have each other. All they can hope for right now is to simply be, not act.

The best Cas can do for Dean is to try to stay with Dean (it's the one thing Dean had actually asked in his renegotiation of their relationship). All he can do is try to provide support through actions. So, Cas throws his weight and strength around as a stand-in for the emotional support he cannot give without triggering his deal.

So, Cas takes on the Mark:

Dean watches, nervous-- as Cas pulls out a knife. DEAN: Cas, you sure? Cas solemnly nods-- cuts himself, bleeds into the bowl. CAS: You've already taken the Mark. You can't take it again. I can. (then) It's the only way.

Cas is effectively saying, "I can't give you what you need, but let me do this for you."

///

So after all this, do they want to be together? Do they still want each other? Do they accept each other's renegotiated relationship terms?

After a trial separation, they find out the answer to those questions: they do.

That's all they managed to figure out in 15x09, really. My conjecture is that even more conversations took place behind closed doors (above).

Next would come the actual grieving together part, which, if Chuck's future vision is to be believed, seemed to have gone okay in the Alt timeline...until Claire Novak died and Cas's Mark went out of control. They survived the death of one child, but two was too much to bear.

Then, Jack comes back In the real timeline, their grief cycle was actually complicated by Jack's return, not fixed by it.

Jack's return and Billie's wonky plan (the "disturbing" heart-eating and the weird trials) is the thing that actually causes them to regress and go into their painful celebratory spirals of Revenge and Fate.

And even though they sink to unimaginable lows at the very end of season 15, they're allllmost triumphant in the end. Thanks to a combined TFW family support system, Dean comes to his senses and thaws to loving Jack again, and he wounds Death. Cas throws off the expectations for the Grand Story and tells Jack that Destiny doesn't matter.

But they're both too late. For each other and Jack. Jack's black hole-destiny is already set into motion.

What they get instead is the sadistic Devil's trap, where all Cas can manage to do for Dean is protect him from their mistakes, as he's always tried to shield him, and finally, to meet his emotional needs before he goes: to love him openly.

Here, he finally acquiesces to giving in to Dean's emotional needs. Despite how the network tried to "blame all the mushy Feelings Stuff on Cas," this is structurally the missing half to The Trap (and the crypt scene in Goodbye Stranger, and Dean's mixtape in The Future).

Dean provided for Cas's needs in The Trap, and in Despair, we see Dean getting his missing "emotional terms" met: you know I love you and need you; now please tell me how you feel about me.

Cas is actually structurally reciprocating Dean's unspoken needs. In effect, Cas isn't "confessing" so much as he is symbolically and genuinely returning Dean's feelings without any pressures or expectations.

//////////////////////////////////

Wow, that was a lot. Sorry I have Big Feelings. Other random thoughts:

Re: @somnatine

Resolution

certain issues I would've liked to see resolved weren't really addressed

Yes, I agree. I could've done with a whole 'nother season just to resolve Jack Kline, for example! It's like this...I have some deep grief in my life, too, like you do with your mom. (But for me, it's my brother.) I understand that life is about loss, and fiction helps us grapple with that.

And while it's true that our grieving in real life can often end with question marks, cruelty, and harsh last words, I don't want that in my fiction, especially not SPN which had more than enough of that to go around.

It wasn't catharsis. It just felt incomplete.

John's paranoia

Re Cas & John: I think another difference is John's paranoia, which causes him to isolate himself from everything and everyone that could help.

Yeah, I agree. That has direct parallels to how Cas was in season 6, too, now that you mention it! I'm thinking especially when he suspected and killed Balthazar out of his own paranoia.

His paranoia is also, I think, why he was so cagey and unwilling to share power with his own rebel angels. (These angels were willing to go up against an archangel with him, too! But he just couldn't trust them after what happened to him in seasons 4 & 5!)

I think you're on to something when you say Cas veered into being his worst self and recovered. And John veered into being his worst self and just stayed there.

///

"You're not a machine, Dean. You're a human."

a lot of thoughts about Dean's personhood/objectification, but maybe that's not the most relevant here

I do agree, and @scoobydoodean has a lot of posts that go into that theme, which you might enjoy if you haven't read them already! I will say that, to me, most of the soldier-coded characters that serve causes seem to trade this theme around. So, while I don't view it as Dean-specific, I do agree that it hits Dean particularly hard.

Dean isn't cut much slack when he missteps, and that can be very hard to watch! Dean is there to forgive other characters for their wrongdoings, but there's no equivalent "heart character" to do that for Dean. The closest I think we come is actually Jack Kline, when he's nearly human. It's how he functions in relation to Dean in Optimism! He's the "heart character" for Dean at that moment in time.

///

Cas & Dean

I'm intrigued by your statement that Dean would've felt better if Cas had accepted more of his emotional labour. Because on one hand Dean's emotional labour is something other characters often take for granted and sometimes even demand from him, but yes, Dean probably also likes having a way to show his love and care, likes having a role that's based on care not destruction, whether others acknowledge this labour or not.

Yeah, I don't have my brain wrapped completely around it. It's a thought-in-progress right now! But basically, I agree that lots of characters take Dean for granted.

But Cas's asceticism is so rigid, I think Dean might be chomping at the bit for Cas to take anything from him: a hand, a meal, quality time...ahem...other things. And because of how Dean's needs are treated in-world (Dean comes last), it's hard for Dean to ask for what he needs.

///

The prayer scene was all about Cas's needs

You made me think about this when you alluded to the prayer scene being lopsided, which made me look at it more closely. I think this is why the prayer scene in The Trap feels like that. It's actually about Cas's needs.

When Dean's finally ready to speak his truth, "Cas, I--" the Empty deal makes them get cut off. Kinda like how Dean "can't speak" in 15x19, and how the caretaker's tongue gets cut out in 15x20. The network is as harsh to Dean's emotional needs as the plot is.

///

Please need something from me

Cas provides major structural support for Dean, and maybe Dean desperately wants to reciprocate that support somehow, but that's also hard to do with Cas's lack of apparent needs (food, water, rest). He also has that chivalric tendency to pull away, and The Empty exacerbates that tendency to withdraw, as @bogwitchatrois said. But Cas has pulled away before: he let go of Dean's hand in Purgatory, and he ran from Dean after Dean spilled his proverbial guts in the Crypt. After nearly watching the fam die in season 12, Cas got scared to involve them and he went totally lone wolf to spare them from the Dagon stuff, even when Dean was reaching out and begging to work together (plus, the mixtape). Cas wants to protect them so badly.

Dean is desperate for any sort of reaction from Cas, and Cas's legendary composure is something that gets in the way of that, I think.

///

Season 15 drives us mad, doesn't it?

I also liked your take on the issue of too much trust. My original take on S15 was a bit harsh and one-sided, so I enjoy analyses that can make me think without getting my hackles up.

Np! It was something we collectively thought about (@mintconditiondean @ilarual and a few others) while discussing Jack in relation to Dean, and I'm still tossing it around in my head. It's at the bottom of this conversation. That TFW failed in key ways despite their very best efforts against sadistic, insurmountable challenges.

We all want just one more season to resolve it more completely, as you said. I don't even think the actors feel resolved about it, not really. The Winchesters did its best as a companion piece to recontextualize some of the grief and romance in the original, but it's still not enough.

///

Anytime! Thanks for having the convo. It's always so interesting to see how the more difficult emotional scenes land on others, especially those who are undergoing resonant, painful losses.

I think on the whole, the fact that Dean lost his mother isn't underlined and bolded enough when the final seasons are being discussed, so it's very important to bring it up and remind folks just how horrific the magnitude of that loss is.

///

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)

It's fascinating to me how much I've changed my mind about Dean in The Trap. I'm waaaaay more sympathetic to the whole Cas-being-forgiven aspect of it, because yes, Cas apologized initially, but the root of the issue was Cas's painful withdrawal of his partnership and his withholding of critical information. Full stop. He and Dean are NOT equally culpable in this one.

It's not just about Mary and Jack, and yet Cas keeps pivoting to "Dean blaming him for Mary." Which oversimplifies the whole thing in a terrible way. Yes, they're all culpable, and yes they all saw that things were wrong with Jack, but next to Donatello, Cas is THE authority on souls and physically the strongest of TFW. To make matters worse, he all but demanded Dean to parent Jack and take care of Jack's emotions, even though Dean expressed discomfort over his memories of soulless Sam. Dean has repeatedly expressed how he wants Cas to be open and honest with him, especially now that they're co-parenting, and although Cas demanded Dean parent Jack, he then turned around and hid Big Parenting Stuff from him and went off to meet Anael.

Barring Cas's one feeble and poorly-timed, "I tried to fix it on my own because I was afraid of losing this family," he doesn't really spell out his part in the communication failures or apologize very well for withdrawing from Dean, specifically. He sorts of sulls up and say, "I already apologized and I'm not doing it again." Yet, Cas has a continued, longstanding pattern of withdrawal from the partnership. I'm floored that my Cas goggles kept me from seeing it before, and maybe I'm a little embarrassed, too. I mean, honestly, it's amazing that Dean takes him back at all. :/ Once you look past, "Oh no! Dean said mean things!" anyway.

I think by The Trap, Dean has given up trying to get Cas to change or hold him accountable for his lack of communication. Cas sort of gave Dean ultimatums over it, if you squint, and Dean rolled over. And Dean wants to get back together. He needs Cas's support and Cas need his. He looks at everything Cas is and decides that Cas's avoidance and want to protect the family is just woven into the fabric of him, and Dean decides to accept that. It's something he loves about him as much as he resents it. Cas's chivalry is a feature and a bug. Dean loves him for it. It makes his life a Hell sometimes.

Occasionally, I still see people harping on how horrible Dean was for "forgiving" Cas, like Cas doesn't need to be forgiven. And with some distance and clarity, I find that pretty baffling now, but I also remember feeling that way when I wasn't looking at their partnership equally and giving Cas too much leeway on his continued absence from the partnership. I almost...respected Cas more. That thought makes me wince. But his bad decisions I was way more likely to stamp as protective or tactically genius, at least compared to some of Dean's similar decisions. Dean's things I tended to group as "too angry/emotional/irrational." :(

I guess I've come a long way when it comes to holding Sam and Cas accountable for their actions, too. Much of the time, my issues with Dean devolved to unfortunate tone policing or not liking him to express his anger and be angry at his boundaries being breached over and over, even when he was taking his anger out on inanimate objects. I balked just because it made a loud sound that made Sam wince (oh noes, not the wincing).

///

On the other hand, I'm quite impressed that Dean and Cas were finding their way back to each other after the Death of a Child. That's about the hardest thing a marriage can go through, and they were getting back together and trying to heal even before Jack reappeared. Clearly, it's a stress-tested relationship. WAY more stress-tested than your everyday marriages; they've been through multiple apocalypses. On the whole, they often have good communication, even when they disagree, they knew where they stood (like with Donatello). It's just these huge, incredibly unusual horrible earth-shatteringly terrible things that throw them. Chuck's grooming is such a bitch.

#spn rb chain #spn discussions

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mostlikelytofangirl · 3 years ago

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Why do many people in this fandom think that jc and wwx do not care about each other since the beginning when it has been constantly been made clear again and again about how those two care about each other ?

Some of them even have the galls to say that jc was evil and malicious since he was a kid.

I am new to this fandom and I am really confused by their approach of hating on jc and hating on people who like him . Btw , you have a great blog .

Hi there! Thanks, I'm glad you like whatever this is :'D

Oh man, yeah, I know that feeling. It was very weird to me too when I was new to discover how much of a controversial topic this was, especially since I considered their relationship one of the most fascinating, complex and engaging dynamics of the story. Yunmeng bros storyline is tbh one of the greatest tragedies of mdzs.

Well, as I replied to a previous ask, I think the main problem with this fandom is that it is too Western YA mentalized. They see this story in terms of black & white where the protagonist/hero and all those aligned with them are incapable of doing wrong and, therefore, anyone who disagrees with them is a Bad Guy and their arguments are automatically invalid, the protag's way is the only way.

I think this current trend of hypersanitizing media and "antis" also play their role: if someone is "toxic" they are a Bad Human Person, always were and always will be. These ppl can't imagine a reality in which someone you loved and who loved you back could ever turn against you without having them be monsters all along. They need to justify their high horse, make themselves feel morally superior by making clear distinctions of who is Good and who is Bad, and those who fit each category cannot, ever, change.

In WWX and JC's case specifically, I'd say it's just a matter of numbers tbh. I know for a fact that there are ppl who hate WWX and claim JC did nothing wrong too. It just so happened that, well, WWX is the protagonist and we see the story through his pov, so his fanbase is naturally bigger. Not to mention his story arc is perharps the only one with a happy ending, while JC's is left open, to say the least. So narratively speaking, and considering the standards we are used to in the West, the ones to get closure are Good Guys, those who didn't cannot be Good Guys.

With all this in mind, I suppose it's easy for JC haters to see canon and all the explicitly stated dynamics of love and companionship WWX and JC shared, and just... act like those weren't there. Like they meant something else. Like WWX (the hero) was right and good all along, but JC (the bad guy) couldn't have been a loving brother once, no, that's not how it works: if you are bad, you are bad, whatever goodness you could have had was retroactively nullified by This Bad Thing you did. You are a bad guy, bad guys don't do good things ever, not even as kids.

And all of this without taking into account the societal convetions of the time period and how WWX was not an official part of the Jiang family, he was never adopted, he was the first disciple and, if anything, he got preferencial treatment that blurred and complicated the family dynamics (by no fault of his own, mind you, none of the three kids are to blame here). He is not exactly a servant, but he is not a relative either; the fact that JC treats him as a brother is already outside the norm... but bc it becomes the norm for them, ppl may look at JC (the Jiang family and society in general) pulling the rank card and get outraged: See? That's proof that JC never saw WWX as an equal and never cared for him! Yes, bc they are not equals. Yet they treated each other like they were. In fact, it's canonically stated that WWX think of himself as a servant and it's JC the one who says that he is not to be compared to a servant.

It's all a big mess that definitely doesn't help the case of seeing WWX and JC's dynamics in a fully objective way, and tbh I don't think it's meant to. It's supposed to stir emotions and HURT. But with so much nuance and so many conflictive feelings and circumstances between them, sometimes the mental and emotional labor to fully appreciate it is too much for ppl used to media giving them the product already disected and ready for consumption. Thus we have a big portion of the fandom that simply reduces these two to The Hero and The Evil Brother.

And that imo is even a greater tragedy.

EDIT: I just remembered of this twitter thread that explains much better how Westerns would see these two and the archetypes they represent, and why it impacts fans’ perception of them.

#replies #mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #for the record I'm not saying that you can't favor one over the other #and understan/sympathize with his pov more #but having a fave is very different to acting like they never meant anything to each other #much less that one was malicious since childhood like wtf??#is it the puppies thing?#bc I can assure you that's a very normal little kid reaction #it's called a temper tantrum and those are normal #also they made up and became besties that very same night wtf are you even talking about??#if anything it's very admirable how incredibly close they became in a household with jfm and yzy #their love is what makes their fall out all the more delicious and emotional why strip them from that??#it makes the story much more realistic and raw #sometimes your family stops being your family for whatever reason #and both share part of the blame #the circumstances made it all impossible to reconcile #it happens and there's no villain there just life

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lostinwoods · 3 years ago

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A different take on SessKag relationship or why it would be more realistic than InuKag.

Let me begin with

Sesshomaru's and Kagome's past and how they are similar.

Sesshomaru had always been a very sentimental and emotionally receptive being. He had loved and cherished his dad the most. Loving and competing with him, wanting to surpass him, desiring recognition and acceptance so much so that his entire world revolved around his father. He did not want the swords because they were powerful or the bs about supreme conquest. What is that shit? Sesshomaru never needed that. The swords, especially Tessaiga was the most important acceptance to Sess. I will get back to this later.

Now Kagome. This kid was born and then we never saw her dad even when she was a kid. Another classic case of growing without a dad? Perhaps. But I feel her grandpa filled her missing dad's place. That is why the kid grew up in a lovely household, filled with love and peace and made Kagome what she was later on, a selfless girl who wants to love and protect her friends. Because that is what she learnt. Her grandpa, mom, everyone and her own family dynamics taught her how important it was to cherish the ones she loved.

What they initially thought of Inuyasha in their life

Now back to Sess. When his dad died, he dies saving Izayoi. What is the thing he feels at the time I wondered. Surely devastated? Yes, but even worse. His most important person, his goal, the thing his life revolved around was gone. And for what? To protect a weak, useless bitch like Izayoi? Here is a thing, he never knew Izayoi but knew the hut had collapsed on his dad when Izayoi had escaped. What can a teen feel when they hear such a thing? 'That useless bitch, ran away when my dad was in danger and cost him his life. Fuck that bitch and that kid they made. Useless, all humans are useless and weak.' This was really where his hatred came from. Probably.

Kagome on the other hand from the beginning was shown as a selfless kid, who loved both humans and demons alike. Reason? She had never lived in the feudal era. She was a kid grown in a society where everyone is placed on a equal pedestal. How would she, a modern kid understand the bad blood between demons and humans? If she were ever born in Feudal Japan, would things have changed? Maybe. Then she falls into a world where nothing was similar to where she was from. She was frightened, unsure and confused. And then Inuyasha came into her life. Honestly their first meeting was not romantic and pretty terrific in a sense. That was a weird day for Kagome. She fell into an alien world only heard in fairy tales, got involved in a weird prophecy, learnt she was a mythical sort of being herself and then got attacked by a guy who had saved her only seconds before, all ready to rip her heart out. In such a case, the 'osuwari' was probably a safe word for her. Why she uses it later in the series? Probably because she never trusted Inuyasha and felt more comfortable using a word which gave her power over him. Honestly, what would you expect? Kisses and love showers?

Analysis: Kagome was still scared of Inuyasha for a long time and did not trust him completely.

Before Inu no Taisho's tomb battle

Kagome before this went home and then cane back because she felt that fixing the Shikon was her duty. More honestly, she just returned coz Yura attacked and she wanted her family to be safe. Here I want to take some time to gush over how cool Kagome is. Intelligent, smart and extremely powerful. How she understood that Yura's skull was her weakness and breaks the god forsaken thing with just an arrow. That is some level of OPness. Who says Kags is useless?

Anyways, after that when Inuyasha called her 'Kagome', a lot of the viewers thought that Kagome was ecstatic because it was romantic and she was in love. But that is bs. It is not possible to love someone a week later they tried to gut your heart out. It is masochistic and unreal. Kagome over here felt a sense of acceptance from a guy who she felt previously hated her enough to kill her. And that to Kagome was a sign of friendship and more like, 'don't worry, I am not at least gonna attempt to kill you anymore.'

Kagome, inheritently a person who gives a hand when given a finger. She accepts Inu as her friend and they were far from being lovers.

It is exactly this time that Sess attacks them. And quite cruely might I say. Bringing Inu's dead mom like that was not funny and Sess was an outright jerk for doing that no matter how much he hated Inu and Izayoi. He is all weird and sarcatic at high levels. And Kags hated him. She hated how he was attacking this one friend she had made in the era. She hated how cruel this bastard was and how much pain her friend was going through. And her own lovely bond with her brother did not help her to look into their complex brotherly bond which seemed to her more like some battle royale. She probaably hated the bitch for showing up and hurting her friend like that even when he, being the older brother should have loved his younger brother and nurtured him like she would do for Souta.

For Sess, it was really weird and shitty all over. A basic human bitch, standing behind Inu like she was weak fawn. Reminded him so much of Izayoi. Someone who never even tried saving his dad. That was why his sarcastic words were like, "Inuyasha, it suits you so much to have a human behind you". Ya and he was irritated by looking at how helpless af the bitch was. He was narcisstic, filipant of Kags presence and all around indifferent to a 'weak human filthy woman', who he felt was just like the one for whom his dad died.

Surprise is how he did not outright murder her. Perhaps he felt like they were worthless and beneath his boots.

Lol, these two are the best.

Inside Inu No Taisho's tomb

Kags was really angry with this bitch who just chained her up, clawed a pearl out of her friend's eye and then jumped into a black hole. That is why she followed with, "This sort of a person, with no blood or humanity in his veins, I cannot forgive him" and then she chased. Even Inu was like, WTF bro. It was fun. Then she spouted lines like, " Take the sword Inuyasha, it will be like a hit to his pride, what a shame!"

How tf did she know about how much his pride hurt him. Lol felt like Kags knew Sess more than Inu ever would and they only met. That was some soulmate level shit right there. Lol!

Then there was Sess who was outright dismissing Kags and she was not even a spec of dust in his eyes. Then she went and pulled that sword out. Remember the scene where he was so surprised that he stopped the battle with Inu and turned around and LOOKED. Like really LOOKED. It was such a heart stopping moment and for good measures as well. He saw a girl, a woman standing there, holding an inheritance which was supposed to be his and she did something he could not. Did Tessaiga accept her then, did his father accept her more than him? He was baffled, confused and low-key awed. That was why he said, "What are you?" And legit measured her top to bottom. That was some turning point for Sess. Something that proved to him that all humans cannot be dismissed. But he was in rage. How can a mere human be worthy of Tessaiga and melted her along with that sword. I wonder if it was his second test to see whether Tessaiga would protect her or not. And then it did!

Sess went ape-shit crazy after that. A sword he desired for so long (The sword used to protect Izayoi was a thorn in his heart. Made him feel like his father had chosen a human over him. But if the sword had accepted him, it would have proved that his dad had still loved him, thought of him). That was the significance of Tessaiga to him. Power sure, but more of an acceptance. His dad's acceptance. And then what happened? The sword preferred a human who then gave it to his damned hated brother.

Aftermath of tomb battle

Kagome never really liked Sess's guts and probably had no form of sympathy towards someone like him. On the other hand things picked up with her and Inu's relation. She came to know some facts about Kik. And her inferiority complex began with her incarnate. But having a part of Kik's soul in her, began her obsession with Inu. She strived to understand him, make a better person of himself. But their relation was still not there to lovers.

Then Sess came across Naraku. He probably just wanted to dick around more with Inu and accepted the human hand.

2nd battle for Tessaiga

Sess's desire to possess the Tessaiga had increased at this point. His rage of having his arm cut off by that sword felt like the worst rejection from his dad. He was going insane and might have wanted to kill Inu for real in this fight. He was in no mood for theatrics in this one, unlike the tomb where he actually watched some InuKag drama and even applauded (lol). He was absolute business this time. He snached the sword and showed Inu exactly why he should not get that sword, 'You cannot even make the wind rift, why should you be more worthy?'

He meant to kill Inu and then Kags arrow sailed in, charging with enough power to even cancel the demonic energy filled into the sword by Sess himself.

His thoughts were for the same reason, " She canceled Tessaiga's transformation? Who is this girl?"

His respect scale jumped for her here. He truly had never met anyone who could rival his power to such extent. He had never met a girl who stood so powerfully in face of danger to protect this some half-breed scum. She was like the embodiment of everything he had hoped Izayoi to be to his dad. A strong woman who would wager her life to save the one she holds dear. Sess had learnt this fact from his dad's death. To sacrifice in name of love and then in this fight he understood how much that meant both for Inuyasha and Kagome. He probably somewhat understood what this feeling was after seeing these two.

Sess had an idea of love and protection and Kags became its centre. She was this vague expectation Sess had of human love and an absolute loyalty towards whom you love most. He felt complicated towards her. He respected her.

3rd Tessaiga battle

Sess's most sceptical battle yet. Why break the tessaiga? 'I will break it if I can't have it!' Desperate much?. Then the wind drift appears and for the first time Sess acknowledges Inu. For maybe being a somewhat worthy of having Taisho's blood, only if a little bit. He is saved by Tenseiga. Oh, how he hated this worthless sword more. This sword could not cut throught things and saves his life. What a worthless shit.

Kagome's narrative here was important. "How can he weild the Tenseiga? He needs a compassionate heart for that." Always wondered why Kags was the one to say this. But realised the reason later on.

Rin

Obviously the most controversial topic of Inuverse. What Sess felt for Rin, why was she there.

Rin has often been compared to be the Kagome version of Sess. And that is the only truth. She came in like a ray of sunshine when he was in most need. He was in self doubt, hate towards Inu and complex emotions towards Kags. And then Rin was there with the exact same face and the same warm feeling like Kags. Even he knew what InuKag were to each other then and no matter how much he respected Kags, he was not really interested in a further relation with Kags. But his deeply unsated desire to understand his dad's mentality and reason behind saving a human was what made him think of Rin. As she was his chance to understand that. His chance to understand why his dad could do that, why Inu could do that and why humans like Kags and Rin could save and love demons. It was not romantic in any sense. He had a confusion and Rin was his way towards a solution. Though it was a different fact that he loved her later on and cherished and protected her. Enough to feel that there was no meaning to his anything if she was not there.

So yes in a way, she is Kags embodiment in Sess's life, a picture of Kags selfless love. His desire to truly understand such beings called selfless humans and the result of his single minded belief of human women being trash and unable to love shattering.

And for fun just to contradict Kags speculations, for first time ever, Sess uses the sword and we viewers realise how wrong Kags was. Sess had every bit of compassion in his heart.

Later events

The events went on with Kags finally understanding her position in Inu's life and her single-minded chase to be accepted by Inu as just Kagome and not Kikyo's reflection. I do not even know if this could be called love or just a misinterpreted need of attention from someone you hold dear. But whatever, we realise Kags is in love with Inu now and still cannot stop from feeling compassion towards Kikyo. Honestly she and Sess are truly two opposite sides of a spectrum.

Sess on the other hand gets Tokijin and attacks Inuyasha. This time around, I highly doubt he was still chasing Tessaiga. It had more evolved into his need to show he is more powerful than Inu. 'What you do best, I can do better.'

Stopping Inu from transforming

In this the most debatable question was whether he was there to stop Inu or not.

Sess had wanted to see and experiment the limits of Inu's blood beast.

After some fighting, Kags jumped in. Sess stared at her, like forever. That staring tho. Even when she was like, "Stay away, you idiot." Sess stared. For Sess, that was what he admired the most in Kags. Her selfless devotion. He was staring at that fearless figure who once again surprised him by being a sacrifice to save her loved ones. She was to Sess what he had always thought of 'love' to be. She was the embodiment of the term 'love' to Sess. For a guy who knew nothing of how to define emotions, it was Kags who showed him what love was. And thus he jumped over and over again in front of Rin to protect her. She taught him how to cherish even the even the most weak individual in a group, and thus he protected Jaken.

Rin was there to show him the same thing everyday. But no matter how much Rin showed him her own loyality, love and warmth, Kags always remained that shining beam to him. I will say later on how I understood this.

Kag's love was the validity of his dad's sacrifice. A way for him to make sense of his dad's mindless death over protecting some weak human.

And in this scene for the first time ever, Kags saw Sess as more than an insufferable pest to her friends. She saw his noble ideals and realised why he was there and thus she thought, "Was he here to save Inuyasha?"

It is very curious as to why Kags was again given these lines. It was probably because her opinion mattered, to Sess it did. And we will see more why in the future.

Random encounters

There was one time when Kags saw Rin while Jaken was trying to steal Tessaiga and she had asked herself, "Why is a little human girl traveling with Sess?' It was again a small thing which she did not need to feel but was very imp. for her development towards Sess. How she started to understand him more.

Kohaku incident

Here we saw how was the first time Sess listened to Kags.

Kags opinion mattered. Inu's mattered and when he realised that Kohaku was being used he let him go. There was one reason that he did not want to be used, the next I am sure was for Kags and Inu. He knew then that Kohaku was imp. to them and he stopped. Big character jump for him.

Then the most curious fact was how Kags knew what the girl meant to him, "Please let him go Sesshomaru, the girl is fine."

Kagome: Thanks Sesshomaru!

Sesshomaru: I just never wanted to be used by Naraku and fall into his trap.

Lol...

Then after Rin left, Kags thoughts about how she had left with Sess and was awed . An important point for her change in feelings towards Sess. She understood the guy was changing and Rin was changing him.

The fun fact was how she was instantly in love with this little girl and that would become important later on.

More random events..

After that it was shown that many times Kags was the only one who could stop a fight bet. the brothers. Example that time when he fought with Inu to get some direction for Naraku. And then Kags came and told him to go north or something and he was like, "That is all I wanted to know." And left.

What is to be seen in these parts is how RT made only him and her interact like this. He listening to her like they have been friends forever.

The saving of Kanta's father was also an example of how much she affected him.

Her plea to save Kanta's dad even when no one believed and no one bothered to ask him. Tensaiga moved because he felt deeply moved by her plea. He might have never wanted to voice it but since Tensaiga only worked when the weilder felt compassion and a need to save someone. Sess must have felt it subconsciously and Tensaiga had stired. Or it had stired because it is a SessKag shipper as well. Lol!

Mukotsu

I wonder how Sess knew Kags was in trouble. Another fun fact like how he appears at times when Inu is not there to save Kags. Sess is there. Probably he knew her scent too well and hence could even distinguish between that and the poison. After that was the gruesome death of Mukotsu. The thing to notice over her was how large Sess looked in that hut doorway, it was a symbolism to how big and huge his protective self looks when he is protecting Kagome. A very romantic thing indeed. The first time he protects someone who is not under his protection. A complete selfless act if considered from his pov. Sess being a very private person and while saving Kagome showed her place in his heart. Yeah and that was very visible from how he killed Mukotsu.

The takeaway from this episode is not this though. It was the fact that Kags defended Sess. For the first time ever, all the good deeds she had seen him doing had outplayed her hatred for him. She accepeted him as a friend with these words, "No Inuyasha, he was here to protect us, he saved us." It was a completely unnecessary detail in the whole scheme of this episode but very important for Sess. Her acceptance matters, her opinion matters and Sess is a Tsundere.

Sesshomaru: I did not save YOU, I just killed him coz he did not answer me properly.

This proved how much she affects him, rattles him and how much her life means to him. And an unspoken promise to himself to protect her when Inu was not around.

Fight with Shishinki

No one ever mentions this fight. But there is a very important SK interaction in here. Something which was important for Sess. Kagome's understanding.

When Sess was lost in the same darkness of never being accepted by his dad, Shishinki made things worse by saying Tenseiga was a cast out of Tessaiga and it was given as a leftover to Taisho's least fav. son. Sesshomaru was hurt, lost, and his daddy issues, his biggest weakness was sharply opened by a knife, cruely and Kagome's words saved him.

Kagome: But there might have been a reason their dad had done this.

Kags belief that Taisho had infact not rejected Sess was like a balm to his soul, the only thing he had needed to hear throughout his life. The thing which made him accept in the end that Tensaiga was there to protect Inuyasha, the thing that was needed to sort of activate Tessaiga and then he finally formed his biggest and truest meido. It was romantic, touching and outright heavenly. Then it was made cute with Inu's awkward concern. It was the best ep. as of yet.

Kagome's deep concern and her understanding of Sess's pain was brilliant and alien level insane. She should not have, but she did and that's why they felt more like soulmates.

Battle with Magatsuhi

Sess had gone batshit crazy when Magatsuhi had hurt Kagome and that had only been worsened by him questioning Sess's honor and pride. Sess had turned full on doggy mode and lost control in that way for the first time since the tomb. And the strike at Magatsuhi's eyes was another symbolism of his revenge for doing shit to Kags eyes and mindfucking her.

RT has always thrown these small hints in between IK drama. Which are brilliant and lovely. Even that one scene where he stands protectively inbetween Kags prostrate body on Kilala and Magatsuhi. Beautiful symbolism, really.

It was also fun to see how Kags half power was sealed by Magatsuhi and Sess's half power was returned via Bakusaiga. I felt that Sess's true acceptance of his protection to Kagome and his detachment from Tessaiga was what made him the true daiyokai and surpass his father. Since somehow Tessaiga has always been linked to protecting Kagome and somehow protecting her might have also been the thing to finding Bakusaiga. The desire to protect her perhaps.

Soul mate mind link theatrics

This is something only some people realise. Sesshomaru and Kagome have been shown not once, but twice to be doing this. Once while fighting for Kohaku's life and the last shard and the other in Naraku's body. Kagome and Sesshomaru had been shown to think in absolute synchronisation. He thinks half the sentence, she completes the rest. Absolute soul mate shit.

SessKag power combo

Shown a lot of time in Inuverse. Sess attacks and Kags completes. A small thing but their timing is insane. And is defintely the best power combo, far better than an InuKag combo.

Fight in Naraku's body

This was the time when Sess finally shows what Kagome means to him. Where she stands and how much he cares for her. She is his FIRST priority. Proof? When Rin and she are in simultaneous danger, he stands there infront of Kags for God knows how long, removing those snake things like he had all the time in the world and once she is awake he is concerned about her well being.

Sess: Those wounds, are those Inuyasha's doing?

And his disappointment in Inuyasha not being able to protect Kags.

Sess: As expected of a half-demon. He lost himself in the bloodlust.

Kags obviously considered Sess to be a friend at this point. A very close friend at that. Family perhaps? Their familiarity here was not missed by anyone. Her defending Inu and then still prioritising Rin over Inu were only somethings we realised this chapter.

The most important was her belief in him.

Manga exclusive,

Kags: I believe that you would be able to do it. Do not fall into Naraku's trap and play his cards that is what he wants. Only you can do this, I know.

Wow, Kags wow...just wow... It is the best actually. She does not believe Inu in this situation but she does Sess. She believes in his protection and she knows her influence on him. This speaks volumes. This shows her unreal connection to him and how they match each other instinctively.

Sess knows her influence. This is his weakness.

The mokomoko scene was truly Sesshomaru's best confession. For him who cannot say much in words, allowed her to fly on mokomoko. Something which everyone of us know has a heavy weightage for Sesshomaru. It is his weapon, his forever companion and his support when he is injured and tired. Offering such a thing to her for whatever reason was truly his way of showing what he exactly feels for her. He cherishes her the most and I could say even more than Rin. Trusts her the most and would jump in front of danger to protect her.

Which is only seen more when he asks her to stay away from the fight because she would be a 'hinderance'. Which means he could not fight if she is in the middle. He would be vulnerable and weak. Intersting, very interesting. Another time where he stood between her and a dangerous blood beast that Inu had become.

The best part was truly him getting concerned when she fell down from the top while removing Tessaiga and then when Magatsuhi tried to possess her.

His anger was so vibrant. "Get away from her!"

What a brilliant thing to say. The possessiveness. The will to protect her. The absolute anger. Brilliant. So much was spoken in those lines.

The best ending though was the SessKag power combo of Bakusaiga and holy arrow. Best ending. Inu was not even much involved in ending Naraku. It was weird how the titular character failed in finishing the main villain with his meido. Shows a lot what SessKag meant to RT.

Big brother

Yes, the iconic scene where fans of all ships shout out that SK is not a romantic ship.

Well over here I want to say that Kagome truly saw Sess as a big brother figure at this point. Part of it was because she still felt that she was in love with Inu and part because she was not receptive to her reactions to Sess and what he truly meant to her at this point. She feels an intimate connection to him but cannot justify the weirdness because she still feels a closeness to Inu so she thinks of him as big brother. Which was a very intimate thing for Kagome to say. She loves him like family and clearly places him higher than the rest of her friends only second to Inu. That was more of a declaring her closeness to Sess rather than a confirmation of her and Inu's relationship. Kags is not a vain character who does things coz they are convinient. She would not call a friend if they are not a friend. And certainly not a big brother if she does not feel so.

Sess actually was relieved, ecsatatic and happy when Jaken informed hin of Kags arrival as was seen in his expression. Very funny actually. Because next second he was called big brother and he was hilariously ticked off. He could not believe what he was being called. Lol that interaction though. It showed how close they ended up being. Even more close than he was to his own brother.

But he accepted the title even if with much pain in his neck and then was really offended when Jaken badmouthed Kagome.

Conclusion: No one badmouths Kagome.

Haaha....end of this long analysis. I tried to analyse it from the character's pov and found some interesting small tidbits and detail that RT had hidden in this story.

Thus I felt that SK would be a more natural ship maybe not outright. Since Sess loves her truly but does not understand the nature of the relation and Kags is still too much blinded by Inu filter a.t.m. Maybe given years when Kags will realise exactly what sort of love she feels for Inu. Which will happen because such a toxic relation like IK should not exist and then she will probably see Sess's love for her.

My Conclusion: SK is a defintive. It will happen with some time and care. When both would mature. But it will happen for sure. All the ingredients are there, the stage has been set just the players have to realise what they feel for each other.

#inuyasha #anime #sesskag #kagome #sesshomaru #kagome x sesshomaru

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barren-heart · 4 years ago

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If you’re Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, or Jared Padalecki.

STOP.

Read this post.

Dear J2M,

This is an open letter for you three written by a couple of unhappy passionate fans.

We write this to you because we know at least one of you has a secret Stan account and creeps on the destiel hashtag from time to time. Don’t lie. (Ahem. Misha Collins. Looking at you, Sir.)

With the subtle hints and possibility of a revival, us here at BarrenHeart (Bee and Jay) have some thoughts on what we think a reboot/continuation/revival would look like if it was done well.

Note: we don’t speak for the whole fandom(obviously). And we don’t even speak for all of the Cas/destiel fans. This is from our observation of the fandom after 15x18 and the finale, plus our own opinions.

Here are our demands suggestions for the potential revival.

--Castiel--

First things first. Castiel is brought back.

And by that, we mean he is either shown to be rescued from the empty, Jack rescues him from the empty, or by some other means, that man is not left there to suffer for all of eternity.

Castiel is a lead character.

Not a guest star, not “and Misha Collins.” No. Misha Collins gets to be in every d*mn episode. He is an equal lead alongside Dean and Sam. Which leads into the next point.

Castiel gets his own storyline.

It can be connected to Dean in some way, but he needs his own arc, y’all. Don't care what that is, but he IS his own character. So, some form of personal growth or whatever needs to happen. He is a badass and deserves a good storyline. Also…

Give this M-- F-- (mother father) his wings back!

Yes, he died without ever having his wings return to their full power. Like? We know he was nerfed so he wouldn't overpower Sam and Dean. Prove to us that he can be a fully powered badass and still work alongside Sam and Dean. No need to get rid of that.

Human!Cas does not mean pathetic Cas.

There is a divide on whether Castiel should stay an angel. Personally, we like human Cas. However, human Cas was shafted in the series. If you make him human in any way, shape, or form, he’s gonna still have to be a badass. Don’t whimp him!

He can be a good hunter/pretend FBI agent just like Sam and Dean!

So, make him one! Let him do more cases. On his own. With other people. With Sam. With Dean. He can fight without powers, too.

Give him love!

For the love of freaking Jack, let that man know he is loved by people. Not even mentioning anything romantic, he still needs platonic love y’all. Let Sam say it, let Jack say it. Let anyone in his family tell him that he is loved. Not once in this series did Cas hear that anyone loved him. So, fix it!

New style, anyone?

Cas needs other clothes! Please now. The black trenchcoat we never saw in-show? Boss. Cas in a black leather jacket? Coolness. Hunter plaid? Do it.

Confession Resolution

Speaking of love, come to some conclusion please about him and Dean. Give a resolution somehow, somewhere. We personally don’t really care how it’s done, but there needs to be something said here. You cannot just drop a confession there and just leave like it never happened. So, talk about it.

Adding this, I swear, if this is bros only, you WILL lose Cas fans. So, think about what you’re doing.

--Sam--

Sam is important!

Now, personally we have a soft spot for Sam. His character arc in Season 1-5 was great. Demon blood, powerful Sam was amazing. So, don’t sideline Sam. Seriously. We are gonna say in an unpopular way (as if this post isn’t already unpopular to some), but Sam got sidelined real hard in the last few seasons of the show. Now, was that what Jared wanted? Don’t know. But, Sam needs his own storyline too that isn’t just revolved around Dean. Figure it out.

Witch!Sam

Speaking of which, let this man be powerful. Sam is best when he has powers. Sorry but also not. He has been given all of Rowena’s (who is arguably the best witch around) spell books and decides to not really do much with it? No. He’s becoming a BAMF witch. Full-out, no word spells and shit. End point.

Sam in Charge

He’s not just a baby brother. He’s a grown man. Give him room to grow. Allow him to be a leader. Let him lead a group of hunters, witches, a whole team of people! He’s strong on his own, too. He's a big boy. Prove it.

He should fall in love.

Like, get married and all that. It’s a part of his arc, so keep it there. No blurry wife, my god! Personally it should be Eileen. She’s a badass. They also have a lot in common! Holy hell. They make a good team. So, keep that suggestion in mind.

Let him have the hero’s journey.

We want a good ending that shows growth for this character! He saw himself as a freak with powers, so…maybe he can use his powers now in a way that in empowering instead? Let him have an ending that doesn't just return to the beginning. Let him have gone through all of this changed for the better.

Don't be creepy.

Still keep the brotherly bond with Dean, but don’t make it weird, y’all. Don’t. Please.

Sam as a dad.

He can have a kid. But, Dean Jr? Eh. You might want to reconsider some other (Bobby) possibilities.

--Dean--

Now, with Dean, I wanna make this clear.

DO NOT K word THIS MAN.

This man here has dealt with unbelievable trauma, suicidal thoughts and even almost died by suicide in the show (okay, it was for another reason, but still!) He dies way too many times in this show. It’s not new anymore. Perhaps, when the show was newer, death might have been a bittersweet ending. But, now. It’s tarnished. It happened too much and the message of “carry on” got tainted to mean “there is only peace when you die.” That’s not okay.

Resolve his issues!

He has so much pain and trauma. Let him seek help. Let your audience know that it’s okay to process these emotions. Let him heal. He deserves it.

Dean’s internal struggles

This is piggybacking a little off of point two, but Dean has a lot of things he needs to figure out. We feel like his journey is more internal. While processing his trauma, he needs to learn that it's okay to be himself. This could include things about himself that he feels ashamed of or scared to admit. Things he may have repressed or suppressed over time. No more hiding who he is or brushing it off or making jokes. Be your true self, Dean. It's time.

Dean’s still important, of course

That said, Dean should still be integral to the overall narrative of the plot. Of course he's gonna go head to head with the Big Bad of the season/limited series, but he really should focus on what's inside first before he can take this monster down.

The Bro bond

No more dependent/unhealthy bond with Sam. Of course they are family and brothers, and will always be close. That's perfectly fine. However, its important to note that Dean was Sam’s mom/Dad most of his whole life. And, well, that never came to a resolution. Please let Dean resolve this issue. Sam is grown and older now, and even though Dean will always feel protective of him as his Big brother, Dean shouldn't feel like his life only revolves around taking care of Sam. There is more to Dean and his life.

Dean is complex

Also, Dean is not only about cars, burgers, and pie. It's like some of the writers forgot this. There are so many things/interests of Dean’s that are really cool and add to the complexity of his character. Keep those things.

He needs to resolve his issue with Jack.

He never said sorry to the kid. Not once after telling Sam that Jack wasn't family. He needs to tell Jack he is loved.

Speaking of which, Dean needs to tell Cas he loves him.

Okay. Who knows if you will make destiel reciprocal at this point.

Do we think Dean would have reciprocated based on context clues and what we have seen in the show? Yes.

Do we think this love is romantic? Yes.

Do we think you'll actually fully make it canon in a reboot/continuation? Eh.

Regardless, Dean loves Cas, so make it known.

Other demands considerations.

‘The found family’ needs to not be forgotten.

All the friends that were made along the way need to be included. What happened with Garth was great, actually. Do more of that. And by that, we mean include Jody and Donna. What are the girls doing now? Wayward sisters anyone? Bring Kevin back. Don't leave him to roam the earth all along like that. Either make him human again like Eileen or send him to rest in Heaven.

Where’s Eileen?

Hello??? Where? Tell us she made it back.

Claire

No idea if you can get Kathryn Newton back, but it would be cool at least for one episode. Please. Kaia? Resolve her storyline.

Also, Charlie.

Wtf happened? That was not resolved. We love Felicia Day. Charlie’s friendship with Dean is amazing. She deserves a few episodes.

Crowley!

Seriously. What happened to Mark was super disappointing. You gotta bring him back. His death wasn't great. Bring him back and give him his damn line already!

Jack!

I'm not fully on the Baby!Jack train, but he does deserve a normal life. He's three years old technically. He had no normal life whatsoever. He deserves that. So, give him that.

More Rowena please!

That's it. She's awesome.

Have a wedding.

No, really. Someone's gotta get married. Our pick: Sam and Eileen. Charlie is also a good contender for having a wedding with her partner, too. So there. Weddings are happy. We want a happy ending.

I will reiterate. Team free will lives. That's it.

Okay. Now, moving on to the next part of this. The elephant in the room. The thing a lot of us actually want from this, but frankly, we aren't sure if you'll do it.

Explicit Destiel.

If you've read this far J2M, then you're probably wondering when this was going to be addressed. So, here are the stipulations on destiel.

Go big or go home.

Yep. We said it. Make it explicit, full out, no ambiguity.

Honestly, you might be thinking what you could do to make it explicitly canon? Well, since there were tons of people who still think Cas’ love confession was just a platonic exchange between two bros (like wtf? How?), you're gonna have to spell it out for people.

But, some things that we may perceive as romantic, some people may not.

--Like, holding hands could be considered platonic between two men to some people.

--Cheek kissing could also be considered platonic to some people.

Not to say we need Jensen and Misha doing full on *** scenes to prove anything, but something more than a hand hold. Okay? Okay.

What we’re saying is basically, you're gonna have to kiss. On the lips. Yep.

So...I guess you'll have to figure out how you want to do that.

On when to make it canon:

You can decide if it makes sense to make it canon towards the beginning or towards the end. Honestly, there could be an argument for either. If it's made canon earlier, you could prove there can be a relationship alongside the main storyline. If you wait until the end, you'll leave fans wondering if you'll actually do it. But, the kiss being the major event of the finale could be worth it. Whichever you do, remember there are upsides and downsides to both.

Other other considerations:

Just realize who your fanbase is now. We’ve grown and changed. Like Becky, your fans have gone through a huge change in what they want from the show. Is the fandom all on the same page? Nope. Will they ever be? No.

You will not please everyone. That's a given. But, a lot of fans want to see the show wrap up in a better way than what we got. Destiel fans aside, the finale was not great overall. There are plenty of negative finale reviews that have nothing to do with destiel.

On top of that, society is changing. Slowly. The attitudes in regards to lgbtq media is quite different than before. You have the chance to make history. Really. If you make this canon, that will be a part of your legacy. You'll hit the news. I mean, 15x18 wasn't even the finale and it trended #1 that day.

We suggest that if you do decide to make it canon, it’s meaningful and you take the time to do it right.

So, consider your fans. Consider the part of the fandom that trended your show over the election. Consider the fans that trended a fictional wedding on Valentine's Day. Consider Misha/Cas fans who felt slighted. Consider your LGBTQA + fans. Just, think about what the reboot could achieve. What it could mean to a lot of people.

As always, we just want happiness and peace when we are done.

Thanks for reading Misha J2M.

Sincerely,

Bee 🐝 and Jay 🐦

#supernatural #destiel #castiel #spn #deancas #dean x castiel #misha collins

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normal-thoughts-official · 1 year ago

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That description is pretty good! I'd just put the phrases taken directly from the meme between quotation marks, otherwise it's great. If you want me to help you write descriptions I'd be happy to! And there's the accessibility server on discord where you can ask questions and ask other people to describe images for you as well

Yes 😔 in my defense, my choices app apparently has a bug where I get a new key every 30min instead of every 2 hours, so playing became a lot quicker. Also I'm insane

There are more differences than I thought there would be! Like, when you're officially dating someone, there are lots of little tender details like ur LI kissing you before going separate ways, hugging you, etc. If you're not dating anyone sometimes they just erase those moments and other times it gets replaced with Diego doing some platonic equivalent, which I thought was pretty nice. Honestly I kind of enjoyed these moments More, like I love LIs as much as the next guy but the platonic bond between them is so important to me and it was really nice to see it prioritized. But yeah, doesn't get as much money

I didn't romance jake, my evil cis white woman doppelganger named bad taste bitch romanced jake. But yeah. I know that he talks more about Mike in the diamond scenes and I wanted to see gayboy pine. I still don't particularly like him but it was interesting to find out the Forbidden Knowledge. I did pay the price in the form of having to see his saggy tits tho. Also WHY IS JAKE THE ONLY LI THAT GETS TO BE KINKY. I WANT A REFUND. I AM MARCHING TO CHOICES HQ AS WE SPEAK

And yeah that's fair, honestly there were many times where I had to close my eyes before pressing the mean option. Especially the "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard" thing u tell Raj when he tells you about his grandma and cooking. Like bro :( but it was also fun to see sides of the characters I hadn't seen before, and see what happens when I picked those choices. If you pick that one, for example, you get it confirmed that Raj speaks Hindi, so that's pretty cool I think

Also replied

That is fair, I don't think anyone Should romance him, just that he's objectively the most complex, best written one. So long as people aren't sleeping on him it's all good to me

ABSOLUTELY YES. God they are so in love with each other it's insane. Dunno why Choices invented Kele to be Quinn's weird LI when they could have just made Quinnchelle canon

Yes!!! All the relationships are great and interesting and well written and I really like all of them and the subtle differences depending on your choices. It's super cool. They're a family 🥹🥹 it's literally so beautiful to see how much they grow and care for each other

LILA AND ALEISTER FUCKED ON NEW YEARS

udhdidjdid thank you, it also took me many replays to realize that so im glad u thought it was interesting

YES. Like it's so funny because they're NOT toxic masculinity, especially not Sean, and Sean is like openly bisexual anyway since he's dating MC and he's nothing if not sweet and tender to him, but they are still Like This about each other. I figure it's mostly Craig trying to cover up his crush but it's sooooo embarrassing for them

shaking you by the neck. WRITE THAT FIC. please. please i need that fic so bad. please ill do anything. please please please please please please please it sounds so good i need it pleaseeeeee

no but actually for real i love the idea of craig like... slowly growing more comfortable around his crush, going from the crushing self doubt and inferiority complex to becoming more confident and comfortable loving sean, aaaaaaaa. And I think sean needs it too, you know, to be loved as an equal, to be loved without wanting to destroy himself and without the other wanting it either, to care and be cared for? Like Sean is king of martyrdom but Craig also died for him at least once and he's so ride or die for him. And it's nice to have someone at his back, you know? And just like Craig slowly growing more comfortable with himself so he grows more comfortable with his feelings for Sean, not in an "internalized homophobia" way cuz I don't think its about that, but in a "my love isn't a burden" sort of way

like AGHHHH they make me crazy!!!! And I think their journey towards finding each other would be so beautiful and interesting because they both have a lot of personal growing to do before they are able to be together but they'd do it together like always and their bond is just so beautiful regardless of relationship status

with that being said the idea that sean thought they were already dating is Hilarious. that trope works super well with them cuz sean was always, like, sweet and caring so not much changed on his part, and craig has his weird fratbro declarations of undying gay love thing going on, so it'd make SENSE that he'd just be like "yeah our dynamic hasn't changed but we are dating now". meanwhile craig has no idea

(god i just love craig so much too. i just. gently holds him. thank you for taking care of sean when I'm not around. but also stop pulling a sean for sean. ily. love yourself NOW)

9. UDHDIDNDI I DID NOT MEAN IT IN A HORNY WAY, EW LOWKEY. She's a lesbian, it would just feel weird to be horny for her. I just mean that she's really, really funny, and although I love how quickly she becomes ride or die for MC if she likes them, the fact that she holds that tightly to a petty grudge in the middle of the apocalypse just makes her hilariously delightful. Whether loving or hating that girl has NO chill, she's always at 100, and she acts on it on every opportunity. Like it's lowkey sad because it's probably because of her desperate need to be loved, so she latches onto people she likes and gives them her all, versus expecting people not to love her and so resenting them very deeply for it. And needing to lash out at every opportunity because she didn't get to when it mattered. This turned out sadder than I intended rip. IDK she's just interesting and like I said it was nice to see those sides of the characters I hadn't seen before

10. I do too! It was genuinely painful to be mean to him. He is so easygoing like you have to be actively mean to lose points with him and even then you don't lose many. Raj ily

11. Don't be silly. You are those friends now. You're getting subjected to my opinions whether you like it or not /hj

OMG CHILENON HIIIIIII

I missed you!! It might be a hot second before I finish replying (you probably know that by now) but I just wanted to let u know that I'm happy to hear from you in case you're anxious daiuhdsauidha

BTW if you'd rather I answer your ask privately you can let me know. I'm not sure if I should dauhaidsa

#write the fic i will do anything #replies #confused inalltheways human #playchoices #es #long post

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jamestrmtx · 4 years ago

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Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Three | sans. (Part 2 of 3 | His POV)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

Still disoriented by the hug, the skeleton finds it difficult not to spare a glance at the human every so often. Though the train's near empty and it allows for some space between him and (Y/N), he still feels too close to them. It was rare for people to find a way to pay back at him for his constant joking around, and he's quite frankly bummed over learning Frisk had told on him. Though he wasn't one to use the same joke on two different people, he wanted to go a similar route with at least one of Frisk's parents, just to see how much they were alike to their child. As results of his defeat, he can only try to strike up another conversation with them while the train makes it to his stop.

"Frisk told me they lived with you only," he says, breaking the ice. "How's it like being a single parent? If you're, well... single, I mean."

He almost wants the ground to eat him up and spit him back to the Underground with how blunt he'd been just now. And while it wasn't intentional, his question along with the text messages from earlier made him feel as if he was involuntarily flirting with the human. Thankfully, they don't show an immediate reaction, and when they do react, it's followed with a smile.

"It's a bit tough sometimes, but… I'd say as long as you raise your child well and that you enjoy what you're doing, then it can be pretty rewarding." Warmth softens (Y/N)'s eyes and they appear vulnerable for just a moment. "I've raised Frisk on my own since they were a newborn, and it's been nice to see how far they've gone." The human stops talking to stare at him for a second; it's a second that takes far too long for his liking, and one where he feels as if he's being judged just as stern and ruthless as he once was during his time at the Underground. "Are you a father yourself? Your... question kind of makes me think that."

First the hug, and now this.

The kid's parent really knew how to give him frequent, near-death experiences, it seems.

"Uh…" Words stay stuck in his metaphorical throat, until he finally replies with, "No, but I hadda take responsibility over my bro when we were younger." He rubs the back of his neck and looks away from them, their eyes being far too attentive for his taste. "But I'd say it's nothin' compared to being a real parent, though."

"Don't sell yourself short," they say, nudging his shoulder. "I'd like to meet your brother someday. What's his name?"

"Papyrus -- the one you mentioned earlier."

"Do you have pictures?"

It's almost impossible for him not to be amused at how excited they seem all of a sudden, yet he fights back a chuckle, not wanting for it to be taken the wrong way. He proceeds to search through his phone for a picture of his brother, stopping when he finds one with Frisk in it, too. "Here he is," he says, holding the phone out for them.

He scoots back as subtly as he can manage when they move a bit closer, ending the space of one seat once left between each other. Now, he sits right beside them, and he begins to wonder over how normal it is for a human to be this way; open and chatty. Surely, and just like how every other monster type was different in their own way, then humans had to have similar differences, too. As a result, Sans tries not to let (Y/N)'s sudden proximity get to him and ignores the weird feeling in his non-existent gut when he meets a bit closer with their face, greeted with intrigued eyes and an equally curious smile. "He's so grown up already. I honestly thought he'd be younger based on what you and Frisk told me!"

They move back a little, finally allowing him space to let out a breath and contemplate just what was that weird feeling from earlier ago; the monster couldn't possibly have developed a crush already, and it was far too silly and farfetched to even think about. Simply fooling around a little through text and having them hug him to backfire his prank wasn't near enough for any sort of attraction to build up yet. He tries to tell himself that time after time again, though he can't forget the gentleness of their touch when pulling him in for that hug, nor can he ignore how blatant and bold he'd been with them through texts. Still, if anything had to be fueling those feelings of his, it had to be the sheer lack of contentment he'd been experiencing as of recent, deeming him more vulnerable when it came to making and maintaining new relationships with others.

Sans was down, and while he didn't want to admit it, he needed to go back to some sort of routine and professional counseling to get him back on track. Even Frisk had seen him at his worst at one point, going as far as to admit he'd given up, yet now he's here again, and with the company of their primary caregiver, to boot. The human's eyes stay on him even as he stores the phone away, incrementing the same strange feeling from before.

"How do you feel being out here now?" they ask. "If you lived underground, I'm guessing up here's much warmer, right? …Or at least most of it, I expect!" They seem to recall something and take a quick moment to gather their thoughts. "Your contact information said you worked in Snowdin, Waterfall, and Hotland. Is… Is the name Hotland true to its name?"

"Very," he says, chuckling. "And Snowdin and Waterfall, too." He knows he's not making eye contact anymore, so he tries to look at them again, but can't bring himself to no matter how many times he tries. "That's actually part of what I wanted to talk to you about."

The human nods with a smile, signaling for him to carry on speaking. The monster finally manages to look at them directly, aware this was most likely the last time they would smile at him after he told the truth about all the stuff that took place back at the Underground. Surely, and just as he suspected was something (Y/N) wanted to talk with him about, a parent wouldn't feel too fond knowing most of his kind had tried to hurt and chase after their child at one point. He's already anticipating an inevitable downfall in the barely-relationship he has with them, but that doesn't stop him from trying to make himself acquainted with them before any of that ever came to be a reality.

"I was wonderin' if you wanted to see what it's like down there," he says, setting those thoughts out to rest. "It could help you understand your kid's journey better, and you could also learn more about my kind, too."

When their smile grows, he almost feels a pang of guilt reach the very center of his ribcage. Knowing he'd hit it off well with them and knowing it wouldn't last long made him feel worse at every second he kept secret all the mistakes his kind made on their own. "I'd love to," they reply, eyes almost lighting up in joy. "So I assume you would be the one showing me there, then?" Sans nods and watches as they rummage something from their pocket, retrieving a notepad and pen; both are patterned with bunnies all over, a sight that makes the monster wonder if that stationary was a gift from Frisk. "That reminds me," they add, offering both items out to him. "Could you tell me if I'm missing anyone on this list?" He takes the items and ignores when their fingers brush with his, just as gentle as the hug felt. "It's supposed to be all the monsters Frisk made friends with there."

"Sure," he says, flipping the notepad open. A grin returns to his face when he remembers just how many friends Frisk made back there, and how many more they would've likely made had they met the monsters on different terms, and had they stayed at the Underground for longer than they had. "It's gonna be one helluva list, though -- Kid made more friends than I can count."

They cover up a laugh, saying, "Didn't you used to be a scientist? I'm sure you know way more math than me."

"Maybe that's why it says past scientist 'stead of former?"

Though Sans had been joking around himself, he sees a frown fall on the human's face, a sudden change of expression followed by them shifting on their seat. "I'm sorry," they say, meeting his irises. "That was a rude question, wasn't it? It's… It's not exactly polite to bring up a stranger's past like that, isn't it?"

"I mean, yeah, but…" He pauses to observe their change in expression, far too concerned over something so trivial. "I'm okay with being honest, and that's exactly why I'm here, anyway." Their distressed expression stays intact, showing they barely took his words as true. "There's a lotta stuff I could've done and approached differently during my time at the Underground, and now I wanna change that." He doesn't know why he's running his mouth now, but one thing's for certain, and it's that he wants to keep on talking. If he was the judgment card out of all the major arcana, the human sitting next to him had to be either the tower or the hermit. "Maybe I can't tell you all about it right now, but there's a lotta stuff I need to clear up and come clean about before we can get to know each other better."

The train halts and the doors open, his stop finally marking itself on the screen. Only two of the few other people present stand up, and him and (Y/N) are the last two to exit. He walks with them side by side, continuing with the conversation until he finds the place he'd be inviting them over to.

------------------------------

Finally there, Sans goes with the human to a diner both Grillby and Muffet were jealous of, and just by stepping into the building, he can already tell why. It smells heavenly, its interiors look straight out of a home renovation magazine, and it's bustling with people, but it's still spacious enough not to make the surroundings feel stuffy or cramped. Most occupied tables have a room with a view sort of attraction, large glass panes allowing customers to observe the inner workings of the mall from the comfort of their seat and a cheap and warm meal. As a consequence, there's a couple of empty tables left farther away, these having the privacy of low lighting and no windows nearby, a spot more than adequate for the conversation he would soon have with Frisk's parent. He points at it with his irises and tells them to sit there while he goes to make both orders at the counter.

"Aren't we splitting the bill?" they ask, a hand already searching around for their wallet.

"I made the invite, so it's only fair I pay," he replies, winking at them. "Besides, after what we're gonna talk about here, you'll probably be mad enough to never talk to me again."

"How does that correlate with us not splitting the bill?" They quirk a brow, smile, and take a seat at the empty table nonetheless. "And who says that? We haven't even gotten to talk about anything too serious yet."

He laughs. "Believe me when I say the situation down there was a big ol', complicated mess." His gaze wanders to the counter, seeing only a line of two people waiting for their turn. "So here's to hopin' a lunch with you and treating you to it makes things a lil' bit less tense between us."

"You're trying to bribe me with food, is what you're saying?" Their smile grows and they relax on their seat.

He snickers. "Depends on how ya look at it, pal."

With that, he leaves the human at the table and goes off to the ordering line, setting the topic aside from his mind to focus on making the orders and taking the correct amount of currency used at the Surface. It takes no longer than five minutes for it to be his turn, though when it's time to finally say both orders, he freezes and so does the cashier when he looks at the table Sans had just walked out from. The name tag on the man's uniform shows to be a familiar last name; it's the only other last name besides (Y/N)'s found in Frisk's full name. 'Jerry', his first name reads, the owner of the name being a six foot tall hunk with tanned skin, plenty of muscle, blond hair, a sharp jawline, and every other feature one could expect out of the typical jock character seen in some American movies he often found thrown at the Underground's dumpster, source from where Alphys got her anime, Mettaton his glamour, and Napstablook their music.

The man's customer service smile falls to a near death stare when he meets with Sans's gaze, his glare and height enough to make the monster feel cornered.

"Is that (Y/N) over there?" Jerry asks, pointing with his eyes over to where they sit at. "What's a guy like you doing with my ex?"

Sans grins, resists the urge to roll his irises, and lifts his gaze up higher, not wanting to be towered over by the man behind the counter. "What about you, pal? That ex you're talkin' about, Frisk, and even CPS have been lookin' everywhere for ya. And now you jus' suddenly appear outta nowhere?"

"Oh, that's real damn rich coming from a guy who threatened my kid with death."

Oh.

Oh no.

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#sans x reader #undertale x reader #lgbt #lgbt themes #gender neutral reader #male reader #female reader #mother reader #father reader #parent reader #chubby reader #long fic #romcom #adventure #mystery #platonic relationships #slow burn

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ketchup-monthly · 3 years ago

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Sanders Sides D&D 2

Ooh fresh take: Jan is virge’s patron and that’s why there’s beef

Also: Jan is some sort of fae related being

Jan: i need you to do something for me Virgil: no Janus: that's not how this works!! Virgil: watch me :P

Okay so I was thinking of Patton as a cleric cuz ooh healer however, Patton as a Druid makes me so happy

I want logan to have Rage

(Also that could tie nicely in an arc about Logan learning to accept feelings)

but barbarian logan is going to be a scholar again and is gonna be smort

bc hes logan. he cant be not smart

Oh I figured he’d be the bbeg that eventually joins the party (hurt/comfort baybee!)(Remus)

he was the bbeg but then joined the party as a bardbarian or just a bard

plus, actual bard who accidentally casts vicious mockery instead of bardic inspiration

Side note: please include a scene where Remus attempts to seduce the dragon

also with this second au, i can start them at like level 5 so people can multiclass

Pat as cleric/druid

gasp logan as artificer/barbarian

janus sorcerer/rogue

because basically everything but alchemist would work well with barbarian, but alchemist feels very Logan

bc mad scientist being actually mad

alchemist logan making an experimental potion and going "here im not sure what this does but im sure its fine! someone drink it"

Remus does it voluntarily, but Logan usually tries to get Roman to drink it

Virgil will occasionally drink it when he's on his last legs and is just like.....100% done with the party

remus as a wild magic path barbarian and just fucking teleporting or doing something equally ridiculous whenever he rages

Oh my god Remus with rage would be a force to be reckoned with

You gotta describe the first time he goes into a rage really dramatically

obviously virgil is trying to "escape" his patron, Janus (really just do whatever he says to not do out of spite)

Eldritch knight roman

Feywild warlock virgil

hey so in the second d&d au, should roman and remus be actual full siblings but like remus went darkside and like romans just trying to get back at him for putting a dark stain on the family name

hey hey hey what about warforged Logan? (essentially a robot)(so like "i dont feel anything" becoming real)

okay hear me out. elf roman and elf base simic hybrid remus. so like maybe the reason remus went darkside was experimentation? so like. hes elf but special

FALLEN AASIMAR VIRGIL

virgil just transforming in the middle of a combat scenario and like his eyes turn into black pits and flightless skeletal wings appear on his back and like everyone near him has to make a charisma check and like he deals extra necrotic damage

Pat is the one human stuck in a band of misfits

so with it, roman would be a full elf, and remus would be an elf that has tentacles bc octopus

So robot logan

i meant literally he doesnt feel anything

like he has all the emotions, but he doesnt physically feel the need to like eat or sleep or stuff like that

he just.....he pretend he don't have the feelings.....but he do.....he feel so much and he hides it all in his littol mechanical heart <3

plus......if he warforged, then like.....AC huge

he stands in front of friends.....he protecc...."no, i don't have feelings, i am physically incapable of affection" but he do!! he do! he take hits for them because he do!! he care so much

Bro he spouts all this and then he uses a reaction to dive in front of someone and everyone’s just like oh

LIKE ROMAN STILL BEING MEAN TO LO BC HE THINKS HE DOESNT HAVE FEELINGS BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE A HEART BUT HE DOES

hey hey everyone needs to grow

and logan standing up for himself and other people stepping in and saying no stop thats not right

plus if canon wont give me roman facing the consequences of his actions towards Logan......

but also Roman learning how to properly handle his own emotions and how he interacts with others

logan who doesn't view himself as anything more than a machine to be useful to others

the party giving logan love and affection until he slowly learns his own worth as a person

Roman and Logan not getting along (maybe Roman has a Lore reason to distrust Warforged, maybe not) and slowly learning to trust each other

when Logan is feeling real down or having some issue, Roman actually comes through to help him, showing how far both characters have come

Okay yes but also can we please give Roman more confidence than canon? Like I’m sooooo sick of low self esteem being played for laughs or just being really really sad

this boy is going on a mission and will slap his brother upside the head and tell him to shut tf up remus youre not a monster just come back home and he will do it alone if need be

OKAY SO WHAT IF HE ORIGINALLY WENT ON THE QUEST JUST TO STOP REMUS ONCE AND FOR ALL BC ROMAN THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER, BUT ALONG THE WAY, AND AFTER LOGAN, HE CAME TO REALIZE THAT NO, JUST BECAUSE REMUS (AND LOGAN) ARE DIFFERENT, THEY ARENT MONSTERS, JUST DIFFERENT

AND LIKE IN THE FINAL PUSH TO MAKE REMUS JOIN BACK WITH HIS BROTHER, ROMAN IS PROJECTING HIS OWN FEELINGS ONTO REMUS AND EVERYONE IS LIKE WOW BRO YOU GOOD THERE, BUT ITS A BIG MOMENT FOR LOGAN, ROMAN, AND REMUS

im unsure as to how, but it happened when he was an older teen/young adult. a simic scientist either picked him (read: kidnapped), or remus volunteered (potentially to escape court life, unaware what exactly the experiment was going to do to him physically

bc also, remus and roman are royalty

so like. how best to get at the nobes/royalty/rich famous people than by turning their kid into a monster

wait, wait, wait, because i'm lowkey a sucker for this trope, but i'm not sure if it fits Remus: the experiments left him with some fairly significant physical pain/uncontrolled magical reactions. through some combo of trying to deal with that and trying find a cure for his pain, he keeps like....absolutely wrecking random towns on accident but also deliberately wrecking certain places looking for either a) vengeance on the guy(s) responsible or b) someone who can make the pain stop

SO LIKE. WILD MAGIC BARBARIAN DOING WEIRD SHIT TO HIM WHENEVER HE RAGES

AND LOGAN COULD MAYBE HELP WITH THE PAIN AND SHIT

BC ALCHEMY

Yknow, for simplification purposes, we could say the True Bbeg just gave Remus lycanthropy and Remus hasn’t managed to control it yet

lycanthropy but simic shit?

Mr. I-Don't-Have-Feelings sees the poor dude in pain and also Roman in emotional pain from seeing his brother in pain and is absolutely like "i must resolve this like right now, immediately" because he definitely doesn't hate seeing his friend suffering, or his friend's brother whom he's just met

he definitely doesn't relate at all to the idea of someone else shaping your body and absolutely does not sympathize with Remus's plight

i was thinking the grappling thing and either manta glide or the ability to breathe underwater for the simic stuff, but like he doesnt have control over the tentacles yet?

Manta glide seems like we could have fun battle scenes

he just jumps off a cliff to avoid mushy talk/dealing with his actions/roman

Roman: Remus just because you're a monster and though i wish i was an only child-- Remus, jumping off a cliff: byyeeeeee Patton: Roman, look what you did! Virgil: dammit jan what did you do? Janus: why do you think i had anything to do with that? im a fae, not a genie Logan, thinking: what an asshole. i wish i could do that

oh my god Logan always being tired mentally bc he cant sleep

Oh my gosh I love that. So Remus got kidnapped super young, (from royal family) they never found him, as a result Roman had to grow up super fast (side effect: lowkey inconsiderate and forgets to ask for others input). Meanwhile, Remus was experimented on by True Bbeg and came out with some trauma and super cool additives

yep! chronic pain and ptsd and all sorts of other shit!

so like, simic hybrids are usually created when they're adults. but what if the true bbeg decided to go younger to see what would happen, and thats why remus has chronic pain and stuff

he was still growing when his genes were spliced, so hes dealing with growth plates shifting and his body maturing and puberty and body changes and stuff

Pat is going to have a lighthearted story. Im saying that now. Hes the one without all the baggage

Sure, but his parents have to lowkey be the really kind people who are surprisingly always down for violence

everyone: multiple crises Pat: y'all need help Pat: love and affection in spades for his little band of misfits

Patton (which I think would be pretty simple, honestly he might just see danger and jump in and suddenly everyone in the party has Feelings)

Logan

Mhm. So how did he grow up? Was he just poof created? Wait

What if he was created by the king?

To make up for remuss disappearance

wait, wait....angst......he was created to fight (hence the barbarian stuff) but alchemy is his real passion

wait so like. a second son???

hes there to replace remus?

Yea! (But like in a sympathetic grief way) But that causes a bit of a complex in Roman and ergo Roman and Logan have a bit of a beef

okay so like. hes there to be a companion for roman, and like take remus' place, even though hes not actually in line for the throne?

LOGAN AS A KNIGHT

and just......the conflict of being created for a specific purpose (plus being, you know, robot and technically incapable of deviated from said purpose) vs the fact that he actually does have independent consciousness and like....wants to live life for himself

the parents made Logan a barbarian in hopes that him and Roman would be safe

okay. so logan was created by the king with the sole purpose to take remus' place as romans brother/companion, and to be his like guard? protector? and fight, but logan wants to be an alchemist and study shit

wait, wait, wait.....thinks about Asimov's Laws

he.....his first operative is protect (specifically protect Roman)

oh man. so hes literally just a shield

his second level operative is just like.....care for Roman's emotional well-being, but he doesn't really know emotions because he was kinda just spawned and nobody told him how

and he just....kind of....lets Roman treat him like garbage and take all his grief out on him because he's staunchly in denial of both having feelings or knowing how they work

Anyway Yea so Logan created by royal family in place of Remus which created angst between the two “brothers” and identity issues in Logan. Their arcs are learning how to healthily process emotions plus Roman apology and Logan commits to alchemy

So big question: why did virge make a deal?

Tricked

he gave janus his name

and instead of janus like killing him or whatever the fae do to people who break the rules of dealing with the fae, jan was like. hey. i'll give you magic, but do what i say

Janus is lawful neutral, but leans towards being selfish

hes self serving, but he has a strong set of morals and rules he follows

Tho I want to Virgil to also not be pushover so let’s say loophole happened and Jan has to stay with virge (hence why Jan is a part of the party)

okay so a couple of the rules are dont give a fae your true name and don't try to figure out their true name

what if virgil accidentally gave up part of his true name, and got stuck in the deal, but then figured out janus' true name

so in the same vein that janus had control over virgil, virgil now has more control over janus

he still gets his magic from janus, so he cant break free completely, but virgil has more freedom and can occasionally tell janus what to do or when to shove it

there should a running gag where virge can explain how he learned Jan’s true name but Jan can make something loudly censor him every time

(he learned his name bc once he heard janus practicing his evil genius voice and talking to himself in the mirror and janus said his true name)

so maybe janus sent virgil on the quest to protect a town or stop something related to remus, but virgil dragged him along

he might just be trying to protect a town thats close to a ley line, or something fae-related, and they just happen upon the whole thing

janus is selfish. but lawful vs chaotic is where he comes through, in morals vs doing whatever. janus has a strong set of loyalties to the fae, and to himself

so like....Remus is just too close to Jan's stuff and he wants to take him down

Virgil is just like....exhausted and said "fine, but if i gotta do this, you're coming, too"

or at least figure out a way to protect his place, even if it doesnt mean fully taking out remus. just moving him would work for jan

Janus: virgilllllllllll hes going to mess up my magic storage locker Virgil: Jan, its empty Janus: but its mine

Yea. Remus attacks a city away from the fae: Jan: Yknow I’m gonna sit this one out Virge: oh no you don’t, get up

Janus vs Janice

so his real name is Janus, but Virgil calls him Janice

Virgil: This is Janice Janice: with a “U-S” Virgil: mhm, sure Jan

I'm a big fan of just like any of the old theory name being various aliases for Jan

Damien, Dante, Ethan, Declan, etc, etc

#ss d&d 2

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justaddgame · 3 years ago

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Snaps: Tekken a Risk 4 Fun

Even when my enthusiasm doesn’t match my skill, I love fighting games.

While I’ll try anything, most of my favorites—and where I’m most decent—are in the third dimension. Virtua Fighter and Soul Calibur were my definitive picks growing up. Though they were hit and miss, I also enjoyed the 3D-era of Mortal Kombat. For years, Super Smash Bros. satisfied a happy medium as I slowly drifted away from traditional fighters. My best friend, Marco, would resurface those old flames after we stormed through Capcom’s revival of hits from Super Street Fighter 4 to Marvel vs. Capcom 3. But then, there was a brief moment where we stepped outside of the Capcomsphere and into a totally new arena I was unaware of.

It was Tekken 6 for the Xbox 360.

I like Tekken, but it’s actually my least played compared to the others. Tekken 4 is the second Tekken game I own now since picking up Tekken Tag Tournament two years ago while researching fan favorites. I also have a copy of Tekken 6 for the PS3 in the mail as I write this, something I should’ve done a long time ago. I found a Super Slim PS3 at my local comic shop a couple years ago, so it was actually long overdue. (Thanks Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the reminder!)

“But why 4 you madman?!” I know, I know. Rest assured, I’ve heard the grievances for Tekken 4. Funny thing is those issues are what intrigued me to see it for myself.

For those that don’t know, Tekken 4 is the black sheep in the franchise. One of those common complaints that caught my attention was that the stages are unconventional to traditional fighting games; rather than the typical flat surface, the stages vary greatly in size, and contain features such as steps and pillars. While some fighting games dress up their backgrounds to create a theme, Tekken 4 drops you in for the real thing. They mean to represent something more relatable to the real world, but the stages were equally disruptive to competitive play in its heyday because of their potential to be exploited.

I actually love this kind of stuff in fighting games, however. I’ve already mentioned Super Smash Bros., but I was also lucky enough to go a few fateful rounds on a high school friend’s Dreamcast years ago. He introduced me to a little iconic game called Power Stone. Nothing was too silly for me after that.

Interestingly, Virtua Fighter 3 had tried implementing similarly complex stages in 1994 when it released in arcades, and like Tekken 4, it shared a similar fate among fans of the beloved SEGA fighter.

I don’t know that Tekken 4 will chart as my favorite in the series, but I’m glad it exists, just like the others that felt the need to bend the rules a little, even if just once. My appeal in fighting games is for the weird and experimental, there’s just no changing that.

Here’s to you Tekken 4, warts and all.

#photos #video games #tekken #tekken 4 #playstation 2 #Snaps

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autumnblogs · 4 years ago

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Day 8: The Universe Will Eat Paradoxes for Breakfast

Alright, time to get back on this horse.

https://homestuck.com/story/1358

We open with John exploring his planet. This game is a lot shorter than I remember it being, which is kind of welcome. While these little walkaround are fun, it isn’t until some of the later ones that they have some really heavy content, and this one in particular can be effectively skipped since I know we rehash it later with PM. That said, as part of the work as a whole, especially for first-time readers, and especially especially back when it was first being written, these are a lot of fun.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/1363

The militarist surrenders at the first sign of being overpowered (Bec is a symbol of trauma for him)

https://homestuck.com/story/1365

And is easily subdued.

https://homestuck.com/story/1372

More of the highly-jade-specific interactions.

Most of our opportunities to directly control characters so far have been pretty exclusively John and Jade. I wonder if Prospit players in particular are just more susceptible to the layered narrative true nature of reality in Paradox Space, or if it’s even just specifically John and Jade? We can directly control John through the walkarounds in his house and on his planet, and are implied to be indirectly influencing Jade through the sections where Jade breaks the fourth wall and lets the audience do things (whether literally through the couple of polls so far, or during the memory match game).

I’ve already theorized about all the parts of the story where Jade lets the audience take control as being representational of Jade’s highly overactive imagination - the audience serves as her gallery of imaginary friends, effectively.

Going back momentarily to the walkarounds with John, I wonder if we could read out of them that John’s wandering around tends not to be voluntarily directed by John almost at all - he zones out, and just lets the wind take him wherever it will, not really consciously exploring so much as aimlessly wandering. For John, everything in his environment is potentially a source of meaning, so everything in his environment is equally meaningless.

https://homestuck.com/story/1382

The Pumpkin is far too semantically complex to be rendered as a human-readable captcha code.

Which is weird, because as symbols of Void, shouldn’t Pumpkins be almost elemental? I would have expected a pumpkin to have one or two slots tops.

https://homestuck.com/story/1383

As @mmmmalo has already pointed out (or maybe one of the many people who reply to their posts!) this page conceptually connects a pair of hands holding each other with Squiddles, building Squiddles as a symbol of intimate contact.

https://homestuck.com/story/1389

In spite of Jade’s inner desire to go ape shitt [sic] she nevertheless remains by far the character with the best foresight until Terezi enters the comic (and Rose finds her groove as a Seer of Light.)

https://homestuck.com/story/1391

While inquisitive and probing when he comes across something he can interact with, when he talks to his friends, John seems very happy to mind his own business about their inner lives, and not push too much for more details than they are willing to give.

Another line in here has John mirror Dave’s language but end differently, turning the trope “take him out behind the woodshed and shoot him” and turning it into a playful joke. The fact that they both make use of nearly the same language makes me wonder whether John and Dave have talked about Becquerel alone, Dave sharing his discomfort with John leading him to make this remark, or if strange minds just think alike in Paradox Space?

https://homestuck.com/story/1393

Jade and Dave’s interactions with each other continue to be priceless. I think Jade’s guilelessness and lack of pretension makes it considerably easier for Dave to exist around her and just be himself, he doesn’t feel too competitive the way that he does around John (who is another boy/man - a significant part of Dave’s future arc is the level of insecurity that he feels over the way that John is arbitrarily powerful and he can’t catch up. Bro’s version of manhood is one where men have to compete with one another to establish dominance. I keep mentioning Toxic Masculinity in relation to Bro, Dave, and manhood in Homestuck in general, and instead of writing on the subject myself right now, I’ll direct you to Cinema Therapy’s excellent video about the subject.) or Rose, whose non-traditionally-feminine characterization and superior affectation eggs him on in a similar way. Dave can just be Dave around Jade.

https://homestuck.com/story/1394

Unlike Jade, John does negotiate with terrorists! I think that John is definitely only tolerating Karkat here specifically because the game is giving him reasons to believe that Karkat is actually an alien. But I also think that if Karkat had contacted anybody other than John he would have been shit out of luck. While in other places it manifests as gullibility (like when Terezi tricks him into getting killed by his denizen), John is generally extremely tolerant, willing to accept apologies, and believe the best of other people. He will kick the shit out of you if you’re an unrepenant jerk like Caliborn, but John has faith in just about everyone.

https://homestuck.com/story/1401

If it feels like I can barely be bothered to stop talking about the genders for twelve seconds, these characters can barely stop talking about the genders for twelve seconds, or sex, or psychosexuality, or being tangle buddies. Sometimes, they’re just talking about being friends though, and that’s alright too :)

https://homestuck.com/story/1403

The way that Jade deploys Sburb machines is nearly the opposite of what Rose does. Rose looks for pre-existing places within John’s house to deploy Sburb’s apparatuses, filling space that isn’t filled yet. Jade removes Dave’s bed to deploy the Cruxtruder there, his Television to put the Totem Lathe there... you’d really think a Hero of Space would display better spatial reasoning!

https://homestuck.com/story/1431

Rose, like Terezi, is more cognizant of Narrative Prompts meddling with her internal thought processes. I feel like that probably feeds into her paranoia in a vicious cycle.

Dave does not like being watched.

https://homestuck.com/story/1442

I’m pretty sure that this is the first time the Bluh imagery gets used but I could be wrong? I feel like I might have missed an earlier one if there is one.

John’s expression of disgust here does recall an earlier panel that has its basic theme repeated with all three characters though, and I forgot to comment on it completely until now!

Characters have intrusive thoughts, and intrusive trains of thought like this all the time in Homestuck, as they think about random shit that doesn’t pertain to their circumstances at all, ideas that they don’t want to have, and then reject. Dave’s train of thought here in particular immediately recalls another intrusive thought - Apple Juice and Urine are linked in his head now, so he can’t think about one without thinking about the other now, unfortunately - it’s not a conscious decision.

The quartet of Intrusive thoughts I’m thinking about are

Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk.

Writhe like a flagellum and puke on your bed.

Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.

Squeal like a piglet and fertilize some plants.

Interestingly from amongst the aforementioned establishing intrusive thoughts, the only character who humors hers is Jade, who proceeds to do exactly that. Go Ape Shitt Jade.

Really, this entire little aside is a bit of an intrusive thought made manifest.

Dave is extremely clever, thinks on his feet, and ruthlessly cunning. I think these are the hallmarks of a Knight, who exploits their aspect (as a weapon, if all the references to Knights as specifically warriors are to be believed.)

https://homestuck.com/story/1452

More intimacy symbolism with squiddles.

https://homestuck.com/story/1483

https://homestuck.com/story/1484

John and PM are in pretty much the exact same predicament.

https://homestuck.com/story/1487

John’s powers manifest just by his being there, without him even really doing anything to trigger them.

I wonder if an Heir of Light would passively cause outrageously lucky happenstances in self-defense like, all the time? Like the dude from that one episode of X-Files with the Rube Goldberg machines.

https://homestuck.com/story/1501

If we go with the theory of AR as a Bad Cop, he is extremely quickly rehabilitated by his community, as almost all such cops are. Again, this reading of AR is extremely experimental and is probably bullshit.

https://homestuck.com/story/1504

More juxtaposition between what is going on with the Exiles, and what is going on with the Kids. I forgot how rapidly Homestuck switches back and forth between perspectives.

This too is probably a kind of circumstantial simultaneity - events that coincide or follow each other not because of geographical continuity, but because they are both related to the same set of information.

https://homestuck.com/story/1521

I think it’s neat that Sburb has built in mechanics like this to ensure that it is played as a cooperative game, but also places limits on how much members of the team are allowed to use each other’s stuff so that douches like Eridan don’t steal the entire team’s Grist Cache to make something stupid.

I wonder if the Red Team and the Blue Team could use each other’s grist? That’s probably one of those things that hinted that they were actually one bifurcated session.

https://homestuck.com/story/1524

Terezi’s use of the phrase Hyper-Flexible Mythology here reminds me of an essay with that phrase in its title that discusses the way that elements like the Classes and Aspects are extremely constructive toward building a story that will have endless room for original characters, and with them, other kinds of fandom engagement.

Other than that, I notice two things here. The first is that Terezi informs Rose and the crew about the Exiles, and by doing so, helps us, the audience, understand why we keep flashing sideways to them.

Terezi also names the setting of Homestuck, Paradox Space, and in nearly the same breath, she alludes to the nature of reality in Homestuck - reality in Homestuck is self-fulfilling. Its only meaning is its own existence - Paradox Space exists just because it does. It needs no external justification for its own existence, it does so because it will. People who live in Paradox Space are like this too. While this is literally, materially true for Gods like John, Rose, Dave, and Jade, it is probably more spiritually true for everyone who lives in Paradox Space.

Nobody in Paradox Space is alive on accident. Everyone assents to their own existence. Everyone gets what they want. Everyone gets what they deserve. Even if they don’t know that those are the same thing, or that Determinism and Karma working together to create a system of distributed responsibility where no one actor is entirely to blame for the ultimate final outcome, but everyone simultaneously played a part in having it end up where it is, and in ending up where they are in all of it.

And with that, I’m going to pause here. We got a lot of information from Terezi, so before we get too much further into Troll shenanigans, we’ll take a break for an evening.

With some luck, I’ll get back to an even number of hundreds in terms of pages tomorrow.

Cam signing off, Alive, Not really feeling like myself today, but still Not Alone.

#commentary #liveblogging #paradox space #self-fulfillment #x-files

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eldritch-elrics · 4 years ago

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this summer, me and my brother watched four whole shows. at long last, here is my comprehensive review of all of them!

in the order we watched them, these shows were:

avatar the last airbender (ATLA)

mob psycho 100 (MP100)

demon slayer / kimetsu no yaiba (KNY)

fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood (FMAB)

they were all very very good!

i’m not going to try to rank them, but, as is probably obvious by the state of my blog, my favorite was FMAB :) if i had to pick a least favorite, then, it would probably be KNY—not by any fault of its own, but just because it didn’t appeal to me quite as much as the others. still a very good show!

i will review each show by:

giving a quick plot-based pitch discussing the show’s hook or appeal

discussing one element that i believe it does better than any other show on this list—in other words, a quality that i think it stands out for

discussing one element that didn’t appeal to me or that i had issues with—a criticism

putting forth my favorite character and favorite episode or arc, just for funsies

including various other commentary. mostly positive, as, again, i did really like all of these!

(i’ve tried to make this whole thing free of specific spoilers, but if you’re planning on watching any of these shows and want to go in more-or-less blind, it might be best not to read this.)

first of all, i’d just like to discuss all four of these shows as a whole! it was definitely interesting watching one after another and noting similarities between them.

all of them have siblings in them! which is, perhaps, fitting, as i watched them with my brother

two include a pair of siblings in which one has powers and one doesn’t (at least at first), and part of the narrative involves getting better at using those powers (ATLA, MP100)

two include a narrative centered around a pair of siblings and something tragic that happens to them, resulting in the older one being traumatized and forced to train to become a soldier, and the younger one turning into something (arguably) inhuman. the protagonist’s major goal is to return his younger sibling to the way they were before (KNY, FMAB)

ATLA and FMAB are both fantasy political dramas, which is rapidly becoming a favorite genre of mine

most of these are historical, or historically inspired in some way, which is interesting!

all of these shows are really really good at character building. all the main characters are interesting and complex, and the relationships between those characters are similarly nuanced and very well written. they make you really care about both the protagonists and the side characters!

avatar: the last airbender

pitch: as the ever-growing imperial force of the fire nation threatens the earth and water nations, a kid from the long-lost air nation turns up and it turns out he can control all four elements and he has to save the world and all that. sorry i tried to write this pitch like five times and realized that well at this point i think everyone reading this will know the plot of avatar

stands out for: avatar has possibly the best worldbuilding i have ever seen in a show—it takes the time to introduce us to so many places and aspects of its world, both explicitly and subtly. the main highlight of this is the magic system. by creating a magic system based in body movement, the process of using magic and learning to use/control it better becomes immediately obvious to the viewer. combine that with the philosophy behind each type of bending and the way that characters take bending inspiration from types different than their own, and you’ve got a system that is complex, flexible, believable, internally consistent, and just plain fun! it makes action sequences a blast. i especially liked the moments when bending was stretched to its limits in totally logical ways (metalbending, bloodbending). not to mention the way that bending is seamlessly integrated into the world of avatar! the example that comes to mind is the earthbending-powered transport system of omashu. a whole essay could be written on that topic alone!

criticism: i know this is a sentiment shared by many people, but the first season was kind of boring to me. some of the humor and the plots felt hit-or-miss. of course, it needed to take that time to establish the world, and it does a great job of doing that. it just didn’t hook me until the second season.

favorite character: i love toph she’s so much fun :) iroh is a close second! and zuko is great, too, of course

favorite arc: i loved ba sing se a ton, especially the episode when they get there and everything feels off. it felt so resonant with real life, in a very fun way. there’s a reason “there is no war in ba sing se” is a meme…

other commentary: what can i say? it’s a classic for a damn good reason. the plot is tight, and it does a great job raising tension and introducing new elements and twists. i also love the care put into the antagonists, especially azula, who has a fascinating arc.

mob psycho 100

pitch: a middle schooler and a charismatic con artist team up to smite ghosts using extrasensory powers. thing is, only the middle schooler actually has ESP, and it happens to be really, really powerful. can he navigate the difficult world of middle school while also getting a better grip on his powers—and his bottled-up emotions?

stands out for: the way that MP100 uses animation is excellent. it takes a little getting used to but it’s just so fun, combining all sorts of different techniques to create an experience rich with drama and emotion. it’s playfully exaggerated and self-parodying, adding to the show’s fantastic sense of humor as well as its truly emotional moments.

criticism: the way that ESP works makes suspension of disbelief tricky. it’s a great feat to introduce a character who is essentially all-powerful and still make them interesting (even in fight scenes), but at times (especially the second season finale) it felt like a magic system with too much breadth and too few limitations. this might just be my bias for hard magic systems talking, though.

favorite character: other than mob and reigen? probably teru. he’s loads of fun AND all the season 1 episodes he’s in slap hard

favorite episode: the one where the girl asks mob out on a date as a dare.. it’s super cute

other commentary: thank you mp100 for being the leftist propaganda we all deserve <3

in all seriousness though, this show is a blast!! it does a great job switching between silly and serious in the blink of an eye. i also really appreciate the way that it balances comically huge stakes with much smaller, more personal stories. for example, the conflict between mob and reigen in season 2 is especially well-done. in general the emotions just feel so real? characters whose emotions tie into their powers are an excellent trope, and mob is a wonderful protagonist who exemplifies this really well.

finally, on a more critical note—there are so many characters in this show! and it feels like only a handful are fleshed out? however, this may be due to the fact that it’s not an adaptation of the entire manga (which i haven’t read). there’s a lot more to go! more characters to dive into! so i probably shouldn’t try to critique it in the same way as a finished work.

demon slayer / kimetsu no yaiba

pitch: demons kill a boy’s family and turn his sister into a demon, so he decides to try and figure out a way to turn his sister back into a human. what follows is a demon-killing adventure that’s in equal parts harrowing, poignant, and hilarious.

stands out for: there’s not much i can say about this other than “please just take a look” but the art and design is phenomenal. it does a much better job of integrating 2D and 3D than a lot of other animated series, and overall it is just so so pretty! all the character designs are complex, memorable, and fit the characters perfectly. the color choices are interesting and satisfying. i also really like the sound design? not often that i notice that in a show. i’ve watched so many KNY amvs by now lol it’s just amazing animation

criticism: the narration style leans too heavily towards tell instead of show. this is mostly an issue with the first few episodes, but i got super annoyed by how much the show would narrate every single one of tanjirou’s thoughts instead of letting us infer those thoughts through his actions and reactions—the latter, i think, would have been more emotionally impactful. sometimes silence speaks louder than words! tanjirou was also not the world’s most compelling protagonist in my opinion, though i think that mostly has to do with my own tastes.

favorite character: *holds up zenitsu* I Just Think He’s Neat. i actually kind of lost it when he first used his powers, like… damn i love characters with weird relationships with their magic like that. i also think the narrative about how having a solid foundation is sometimes more important than knowing a ton of different moves was really powerful. and he’s just funny! pathetic boy i love him

favorite arc: really just the whole spider arc. fucked up man… i love it. they pulled off that last twist so well, and all the family stuff was so weird and complex and emotional…

other commentary: it’s just a really solid and very well-written show! the team of tanjirou, zenitsu, and inosuke is so much fun… bro bonding :) i also quite like the horror elements; it’s fucked up but in a good way. finally, this is very specific, but the demon that can alter buildings/rooms through drumbeats? appealed to me very much. it’s a cool and unique power!

fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood

pitch: two kids do some fucked up alchemy and end up getting parts of their body stolen by god. now they’re on a quest to get their bodies back, but find themselves wrapped up in crazy government conspiracies and alchemy more powerful than they ever could’ve imagined…

stands out for: plot. by this i mean less overall concept (though the overall concept is pretty great too), and more that the pacing and progression of the story is extraordinarily tight. for the most part (the first few episodes are a little weak but i’ll let it slide), it does an excellent job establishing its premise and building on it logically, adding layers and layers that extend naturally from what we already know. everything has a reason for happening; everything is revealed in good time and all the twists are super satisfying. there’s great balance between exciting moments and quiet moments. it’s just very good at being a story!

(fun fact: i’m reading the manga right now and so far it’s even better paced than the show, which is super interesting! it’s especially good at how it lays out pieces of the backstory and then fills everything in later in a really satisfying way.)

criticism: this is incredibly specific but it’s what comes to mind as something that bothered me: winry’s character arc was really disappointing. for most of the series she’s a pretty strong character, but in the end it feels like she gets pushed aside, defined only by her relationship with ed. what happened to her wanting to take action more? that was a specific desire she expressed—wanting to be less passive! since she’s such an important character, i wish she could have had more presence in the last season other than as a sounding board for the elric bros’ emotions. (even though her one scene in the last episode was really good and emotional…)

favorite character: other than the elric bros, absolutely ling. he fits into multiple of my favorite character archetypes (fun, silly, bastard, gets possessed…) and he’s just overall a delight. plus his relationship with greed is really really good. bro bonding at its peak!! (my other favorite is pride. i will not say why because spoilers. but if you know me.. you know)

favorite episode: this is really really hard to choose but i’m gonna go with envy’s death because. holy shit.

other commentary: i’m a really big fan of the complex and nuanced way in which FMAB breaks down militaristic, imperial regimes from the inside. many of the characters have done awful things, and the story forces them to grapple with that and accept that all they can do now is be better in the future. the moral complexity is just really good! characters with flaws—we love to see it!

finally, parts of this story seem so so catered to Me Specifically that it’s no wonder i got so into it. like just the entire premise? the way that so much of the conflict is built out of identity crisis and exploring the nature of consciousness and human vs inhuman? beautiful. i love ed and al so much

if you made it all the way to the end, thank you so much for reading!! glad to have finally gotten this done (3 months late…) and put all my thoughts down. i hope this inspires someone to try watching one of the shows i discussed!

#avatar the last airbender #mob psycho 100 #kimetsu no yaiba #fullmetal alchemist #my post #long post #then for my own tagging purposes..#atla #mp100 #kny #fmab #i really hope some people read this! i put a lot of thought into it

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caitlinsfandomthoughts · 4 years ago

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A film fan’s reaction to reading The Lord of the Rings for the first time.

I’ve been a big fan of the Peter Jackson films (extended versions - nerd that I am) since I was about 11 and I think I know all of the big changes made in the adaptation: Arwen, Faramir, Aragorn falling off a cliff. I did read the first book around the same age (in the first of many waves of my lotr obsession) but I only really remembered Saruman of ‘Many Colours’.

However I have always wanted to properly know the book version of the story so finally started listening to an amazing full audio book reading by Steven Red Fox Garnett which I highly recommend:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwLvFU2onc7cPIEBee-_xMw

………………………………………………………………………………….

And here are my silly reactions and occasional analysis of the differences between book and film that I didn’t know about.

The Fellowship of the Ring part five, one, two, three, four, six

Lothlorien:

I really miss the film Aragorn-Boromir interaction in the aftermath of Gandalf’s death. Where the hobbits are in shock/grief and Aragorn rouses them to go. Boromir says ‘give them a moment for pity’s sake.’ Not only does it immediately set up the unstable power structure of the fellowship without Gandalf, to me it’s one of those really interesting conflicts where both sides are right. And as a leader it would be hard to make the right call. Obviously they can’t stay long, but Aragorn’s coldness isn’t the best for morale. I also like that it is the reverse of what you might initially expect for both characters. Boromir argues for compassion while Aragorn for practicality, and yet it works to add complexity to both. I think Aragorn is probably right, as he usually is, but it’s not like Boromir doesn’t have a point. He actually has more experience with leading large groups in a somewhat kingly manner than Aragorn does, and Aragorn can learn something from that. It can seem like Aragorn is shirking some part of his leadership responsibilities, like an emotional openness, or maybe just communication. It feels like Aragorn is leading in a bit too introverted way at the beginning, or in a way that still shows his reluctance. Anyway it doesn’t have that scene.

What it does have is Boromir being the one who is most reluctant to go into Loth Lorien. He’s like I’ve heard some not so good stories of this place and Aragorn is like well your people have your facts wrong and then is like you’ll only find evil in here if you bring it with you, Aragorn is apparently the king of throwing shade at least.

Haldir! And Sam was the loud breather.

They want to make Gimli wear a blindfold into Lorien but NO ONE ELSE! Racist elves. I mean I know that’s the point but whoa.

Gollum has been following them since like, the Shire, which is a long time to wait. I like the mention of Sting not glowing even though Frodo can hear he is near, nice way to say he’s not an orc, not truly evil. It is one of the few things I really liked in the Hobbit films, the use of this visual symbolism to morally complicate things when you meet him. (Poor orcs it seems you can kill without moral consequences).

Gimli is understandably not ok with the blindfold situation, I support him. Aragorn suggests they should all wear them, I like this, it’s probably the most egalitarian solution they could do, given how much they needed their help. Good Aragorn move. I think message-wise Boromir being the one who is most resistant to Lorien rather than Gimli is better. While there has been some both sideyness in the Elve/Dwarf racism, here at least the fault seems to be more with the elves, which is a more realistic depiction of racism than it being equal fault on both sides. Although perhaps this is better referred to as xenophobia since there isn’t an active exploitation of one race by another here.

Haldir is not a jerk! Or less of one. He doesn’t believe in the blindfold policy but he is still enforcing it so…

Sam says that Lorien is ‘like being inside a song’ I keep saying Sam is musical. ’Frodo puts his hand on a tree and feels the ‘delight of the living tree itself’ rather than thinking about its uses when it’s dead. I’m here for the tree love.

Celeborn is like we shouldn’t have let the dwarf in and then Galadriel is like actually dwarfs are cool! And he’s like yeah you’re right I’m sorry. Galadriel directly calling out anti-dwarfism and then speaking to Gimli in his own tongue gives a stronger reason for him to be enamored by her than basically she was pretty.

I can’t believe I forgot Sam making a poem for Gandalf’s fireworks in the film! Given I’ve been going on about him being a songwriter.

The Mirror of Galadriel:

Frodo sees Gandalf the white aw :’( It gets to me sometimes that Frodo and Sam don’t get to know that Gandalf is alive until the task is done and everyone else (except Boromir) gets to in the second book.

It makes some more sense now as to why Galadriel says she will ‘diminish’ and why the rings tempts her since the one ring dominates the three and with it destroyed their power probably would also.

Galadriel says the ring has a ‘will to dominate’ or something like that, she says Frodo can’t see the three rings through the one because he hasn’t tried, and that if he did it would destroy him. I may not have got that exactly right but it seems like Gandalf et al in Rivendell were saying hobbits can’t use the power of the ring only wizards and elves could. But Galadriel is like no it’s only because you haven’t tried. But also don’t try cause, you know, it’s evil and all (but that goes for everyone).

Sam did you not see the scary immortal lady lit with a power of her own screaming ‘ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR’? No it would not be good for her to take it!

Farewell to Lorien:

Finally the Aragorn doubt that I have been waiting for! Although he’s only really unsure about going to Minas Tirith or not cause Gandalf fell and now he has to take on his role and he’s like well he didn’t tell me what to do so… But still I’ll take Aragorn unsure which way to go and using the river to procrastinate as symbolic of his uncertainty of his own destiny as king, I’ll take it. I am missing another Aragorn-Boromir convo from the film. The one where Boromir is all stressed and kind of tries to confide in Aragorn and ends up goes on about Minas Tirith oh it’s so wonderful oh it’s so beautiful, have you seen it Aragorn? ‘Have you ever been called home?’ and Aragorn is just like yeah I’ve seen it, cool story bro. There’s a 3rd bit of film dialogue before the death scene that I love and I wonder if there’ll be anything like that.

Boromir definitely doesn’t want to talk about his Galadriel vision. But it sure has made him weird.

Why did they guide them out of Lorien only to then stop them and give them gifts? I’m convinced Galadriel wanted to show off her awesome swan boat.

I guess Aragorn’s gift of a personalised scabbard is more meaning full than a random head cutting blade. But I’m still not cool with him already having the sword.

I am surprised at how many of the gifts were different in the film, I think this scene was only in the extended anyway. Sam wanting rope was built up for so long in the book that I was surprised that he got it in addition to his gift. I do like that Sam appreciated the rope though, it was still a nice payoff.

Gimli’s gift is the same though :) I haven’t read the Silmarillion, though I have read that some jerk-elf asked Galadriel for a hair from her head and she said no, and he didn’t get the message until asking another two times. So giving Gimli three hairs (when he only hesitantly asked for one) is a big fuck you to that jerk-elf. In fact Galadriel says that everyone should stop saying that Dwarves can’t be courteous or whatever. Gimli specifically says that it was her calling out Celeborn and defending dwarves that made him like her.

#lotr reaction #lotr book #lotr films #lotr audiobook #galadriel #sam is a born poet #jerk-elf #lothlorien #I stan boromir #mostly #gimli #all shall love me and despair #lotr #steven red fox garnett #lotr liveblog

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madelynsperos-gothel · 4 years ago

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The Wedding: Madelyn&Apollo

Where: Santa Monic Botanical Gardens When: June 27th, 2020 6pm What: Madelyn & Apollo finally say I Do

@prettyboyapollo

Athena: Standing under the arch in front of a microphone nerves racing but excitement and joy for her twin brother coursing through her as she hears music start to play signifying the begging of the ceremony

Apollo: takes a deep breath, shaking off the nerves as he did right before a game, at the sound of the music he let out a soft exhale and began to walk down the aisle smiling widely as he made his way down

Bridal Procession: Scout&Lexie; Mike&Bex; John&Marie; Thomas&Bridget

Madelyn: takes a deep breath as the bridal procession begins to play (song link) as the doors sway open, Madelyn in her gown makes her way towards Apollo, she never cries ever but in this moment she can feel tears as an overwhelming sense of love and joy and nerves courses through her while she made her way to him

Apollo: He smiled at the bridal party and gave them all a thankful nod and when the song had changed, he froze, biting his lip anxiously as the doors opened. When they did, Apollo felt an overwhelming sense of joy as tears began forming at what an absolute vision Madelyn was There she is, beautiful as ever.

Madelyn: When she finally made her way to him relief washed over her. She smiled brightly as she let go of her father's arm kissing his cheek before taking Apollo's hand as they stood side by side. She gave it a careful squeeze the nerves overwhelming her in tune with excitement.

Athena: We’re here today to celebrate the relationship of Madelyn and Apollo and to be witnesses and supporters of the commitment they share with one another. Together we’re a group of the most important people in their lives and they’ve brought us here to publicly recognize that we’ve all played some special part in the love they share today. Marriage gives permanence and structure to a couple’s love. It’s a way to tell one another that no matter how much you you spent while out at the shopping mall, or what weird tattoo you got when you were younger we’re still in this together. Marriage is telling the person you love that you’re not going anywhere and that’s a powerful commitment for two people to make to one another. A good marriage must be built on the foundation of this commitment. In marriage the “little” things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say, “I love you” at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is standing together and facing the world. It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right partner — it is being the right partner. Madelyn and Apollo, the vows that you are about to make are a way to share your love and commitment to each other in your own words. These vows are your way of openly declaring your promise to one another as well as to all of those who are here in attendance today. You may share those now.

Apollo: clears his throat and lightly squeezes Madelyn's hand If anyone had told me last year that this was where I’d be standing, I would’ve probably laughed because what I wouldn’t have known was that a week after that, we would’ve been on the Ferris Wheel at sunset, where I would’ve really remembered how blue your eyes were and how the sun’s rays made your skin glow, how the way your red lips curled into that smirk that I secretly fell for as a nervous 17 year old. he chuckled lightly I walked into your domain and approached you with every ounce of confidence to shoot my shot and each and every time, I kept coming back for more, even if it wasn’t going to last forever, but that all changed. Over time, I knew you were the one, I knew that I couldn’t let you go and truthfully, you taught me what love really was. You taught me that love was unexpected and it would creep on you, but it wasn’t a fairytale. It was sometimes as simple as a “text me when you make it upstairs” but as complex as looking across the room at each other in the middle of a conversation and knowing we were going to gravitate towards each other.

You taught me that love meant being patient and while you thought you were unlovable, I made sure that I showed you everyday with the smallest things that you were and still are worthy of being loved and loving you, has been the highest honor I was ever bestowed upon. Madelyn Victoria Gothel, I vow with every ounce of my existence that I will love you through every good, bad, and ugly that comes in our lives. That I will hold your hand through every obstacle we face and celebrate every victory we have along the way. he took a breath as he began to tear up, wiping a tear away as he continued I promise that we will laugh at every blunder, roast your enemies, and slow dance in the living room. I promise that I will make sure that beautiful smile of yours never leaves that lovely face of yours. I promise that our home will always be happy, warm, and welcoming, that we can come home after a long day and welcome each other into a warm and loving embrace. I promise we won’t ever go to bed angry and to tell you I love you every day before work and every night before bed. This, I can promise you and more and I’ll swear it til my last breath. Σε αγαπώ. I love you.

Madelyn: You told me recently that you knew when you had my heart. While you might be right about part of that, you did have it that day on the ferris wheel. I actually knew it a little bit before that. There was a time before we were this great love story when we were just two people dumb enough to not know what was right in front of us. You had just gotten back from a trip and we were spending the day together, you could have taken advantage of a moment to enjoy your own pleasures. I know that’s what we both had been doing for so long but for some reason that night you didn’t. Instead you just stayed with me, and while we waited for food to arrive you washed my hair. It seems silly washing hair would help me to realize that I loved you but no guy had ever done anything like that before. I was so used to people using me for a good time and doing that myself so I wouldn't get hurt, but you showed a genuine care for my happiness that day above your own. All I had known was shallow connections. Yet, here you were doing something not for your own pleasure but for mine. Not self serving, no strings attached. I knew it then that you cared for me more deeply than I could comprehend, and even though it scared me I am so glad I didn’t let it go. I knew from that moment we met, all those years ago that there was something special about you.

You were the first person to ever get me to open up to them night one. Sitting on that hill I thought you might just see inside my soul that night and while it terrified me it kept me wanting more moments like that. It was complicated and messy and while we danced around feelings for each other so long I wouldn't have it any other way. We have made so many beautiful memories together in all these years and I have been so lucky to have them. You’ve shown me just how truly and deeply someone can not only love but be loved. Figuring out how to love you, how to show you just how truly beautiful you are to this world has been a journey for me I will never forget. I’ve never been great at expressing how I feel, and you helped me to grow and you showed me through example how to care for you and show you how to see yourself through my eyes. You’ve entered this world as my partner, my protector, my biggest advocate, and my voice of reason. I never expected myself to ever understand let alone find love. I don’t know if I will ever fully understand it, but I am so happy that I have found it in you. Apollo I promise to continue showing you there’s so much more to life than what we already know, to keep you on your toes and only say please when you remind me that I have to. I promise to always speak my mind and to tell you when you’re being a giant pain. But most importantly I promise to always be there when you come home, to love you even on the days when it’s not easy to, to support you no matter what even at the detriment of myself. I promise to be your equal partner to walk side by side through this life together, and that no matter what happens to always be that girl on the ferris wheel scared out of her mind knowing that there is absolutely no one in this world or any other that could ever mean more to me than you will. steadily after having practiced and learning it just for this moment Υπόσχομαι να σε αγαπώ πάντα για τις υπόλοιπες μέρες μας.

Athena: wipes a tear as she watches her twin brother and soon to be sister before clearing her throat Madelyn and Apollo will now exchange rings to symbolize their commitment. Rings are derived from humble beginnings of imperfect metal to create something striking where there was once nothing at all. It is customarily worn on the ring finger as it is the only finger with a vein running directly to the heart. The wearing of the rings is a visible, outward sign that they have committed themselves to one another. Athena: Apollo, please take Madelyn’s hand and repeat these words.

Scout: pulls out rings from his pocket and hands them over with a cheesy grin on his face

Apollo: sniffling and taking the ring from Scout Thanks bro. he looks to Athena one last time and then back to Madelyn

Athena: I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love,

Apollo: gazing into Madelyn's eyes I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love,

Athena: For today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come.

Apollo: For today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come.

Athena: Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day,

Apollo: Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day,

Athena: and know that my love is present,

Apollo: and know that my love is present,

Athena: even when I am not.

Apollo: even when I am not. Apollo carefully slips the ring onto Madelyn's ring finger

Athena: Madelyn, please take Apollo’s hand and repeat these words.

Madelyn: takes a ring from Scout and holds Apollo's hand only after she wipes the tears in her eyes, Madelyn never cries certainly not in front of people but her love and gratitude for the man in front of her overwhelms her as she holds his hand

Athena: I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love,

Madelyn: I give you this ring, as a symbol of our love,

Athena: for today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come.

Madelyn: for today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come.

Athena: Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day

Madelyn: Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day

Athena: and know that my love is present,

Madelyn: and know that my love is present,

Athena: even when I am not.

Madelyn: even when I am not.

Madelyn: slips ring onto Apollo's finger then carefully takes his hand

Athena: Madelyn and Apollo you have professed your love by exchanging your vows. You have symbolized your commitment by exchanging rings. With all of this there is just one more question I need each of you to answer and then we’re off to the reception to celebrate.

Athena: Madelyn – do you take Apollo to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

Madelyn: beaming with happiness I do.

Athena: Apollo – do you take Madelyn to be your wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

Apollo: without hesitation I so do.

Athena: By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. Apollo you may kiss your bride.

Apollo: pulls Madelyn in and dips her as he kisses her

Madelyn: smiles into the kiss bringing a hand to his cheek before they stand back up and turn to the crowd not able to wipe the smile off of her face

Athena: It’s my great honor and privilege to be the first to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Speros-Gothel!

#loveintheAM #everything means nothing if i can’t have you | apollo #im headed straight for the castle | musings #c: apollo #c: athena

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lansizhuis · 5 years ago

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WEILAN FIC REC

It's as the title says - the five times Shen Wei did a horny grip™ because let it be known that while Zhao Yunlan is explicitly shamelessly thirsty, Shen Wei is equally as thirsty but in a more lowkey manner. Oh, and of course, WeiLan as lesbians can't be passed up for this.(gift fic for taki who introduced the weilan lesbian agenda to me!)Hello! I finally had some time (spoiler: I actually didn’t but I can always have time for my dads) to properly make a compilation of WeiLan fanfic recommendations. I included some CN ones bc I absolutely love them to bits and pieces and some WeiLan derivatives bc why not.

Please click the kudos and leave a comment on the authors’ works to thank them and show your appreciation! <3 This will be updated periodically.

bc I’m shameless - imma shove my own weilan fics here

Title: Uhaw Summary: Shen Wei felt a smile on his face despite the seriousness of the situation. “Your loyalty will forever remain divided.” // “My loyalty is with you.” Zhao Yunlan declared. “Always has been, always will be.” [WEILAN MAFIA/GANGSTER AU 1/1] Notes: i was horny for weilan being horny for each other and being a power couple with some plot thrown in the mix im not sorry

Title: Devour Your God Summary: "The beast inside him howls and the inhumane thunderous chanting resounds in the beautiful ghost king. You remember don’t you? The more beautiful the ghost...the more terrifying."

[a look through shen wei's eyes as he goes through kunlun's multiple reincarnations until zhao yunlan; novel-compliant and shen san extra hints but should be spoiler free 1/1] Notes:��sometimes we’re also sad in our weilan lives but do know they get their happy ending anyway

Title: Earlier On Summary: Zhao Yunlan starts remembering his life as Kunlun months after he first entered the world and his only clue resides on that creature (because his adult brain is now telling his baby brain that that wasn't a human) robed in white with a golden mask peering down on his crib. Notes: [novel-verse gift fic for orro AKA babey zhao yunlan having adult brain/memories who’s everyone’s source of headache]

Title: Five Times Shen Wei Did A Horny Grip Summary: It's as the title says - the five times Shen Wei did a horny grip™ because let it be known that while Zhao Yunlan is explicitly shamelessly thirsty, Shen Wei is equally as thirsty but in a more lowkey manner. Oh, and of course, WeiLan as lesbians can't be passed up for this. Notes: (gift fic for taki who introduced the weilan lesbian agenda to me!)

Title: Some Things Stay The Same and Some Don't Summary: “Xiao Wei,” Zhao Yunlan called in a serious voice making Shen Wei stiffen in attention, “Your boobs are actually big, aren’t they?” Shen Wei almost slipped from her position at the unexpected - or well, this is Zhao Yunlan so perhaps ‘expected’ should be the term - comment. “Yunlan, honestly!” “No really, it’s bigger than mine.” “Everyone’s bigger than your tiny mangoes, stupid owner.” Da Qing laughed from the kitchen. “I think even Lin Jing and Lao Chu have bigger ones compared to you.” Notes: lesbian!weilans part 2 for emmy featuring the primordial gods, shen wei + mama zhao interaction, and kunlun taking in 2 ghost queens instead of just one

Title: Repercussions of Meddling Summary: “You know what the diviner’s instructions were, right? Gather the hallows and let fate run its course or else there can be dire consequences.” Zhao Yunlan clenched his fist as he recalls Shen Wei’s hardships paralleled with Ye Zun’s loss of sanity, the ghost lovers’ fate in an effort to protect him, the brewing war as the vision the hallows have given him on their deaths, and an ever burning flame on his soul as he watched Shen Wei disappear stay clear.“There can’t be anything more dire than that future.” The two leaders looked at each other meaningfully. “And if the bulk of the repercussions on you twisting the timeline falls on you?” Zhao Yunlan huffed in amusement and flipped his long hair to his back. “If I'm the one who has to pay then so be it.” Notes: aka ye zun is a bad influence to shen wei and add that in for 10,000 years where they're both awake, alive, and together waiting for a certain someone's reappearance in their lives --- THIS CAN GET DARK; drama canon divergence au where zhao yunlan as kunlun ends up saving ye zun in the past and meddling with time

Title: A Path Back Home Summary: The Dixing kingdom's delegation set off for a peace treaty with the kingdom of Haixing as new tides of the world was coming. For some, this was a turning point for the three kingdoms. For Ye Zun and his father, this was a chance to bring back their two other family members home with them. The past retains its stories and secrets, the present shakes the foundations of everyone's belief, and the future is a path back home. (read a/n before reading!) Notes: weilan royalty a/b/o au aka the most self-indulgent fic (it wasn’t supposed to be multi-chap but brain said ‘world building’ and now i suffer)

Title: where everything converges Summary: collection for weilan week prompts - day 1: beginnings (SID+SW meets the youngest primordial god) day 3: au (tgcf au of god!ZYL and ghost king!SW) day 7: anniversary (there will come a day where SW wakes up to the 5,000 years and 1 day of being with ZYL)

Title: in all worlds and in all timelines Summary: collection of weilan prompts (do send some and i’ll see if i can write it!)

Title: The Power of Words Summary: “You have lived for as long as I have and so you must know that words have power. The likes of old sayings and proverbs hold a decree to them the longer it’s passed around from one breathing soul to another. They become entities and binding spells on their own through time.”

“What has that got to do with anything right now? Ghost Slayer, you are already treading a dangerous path with the choices you have made the past months. Do I still need to remind you of this?” the spirit asked.

The black robed creature acted as if he didn’t hear his companion and spoke once more. “I suppose it doesn’t matter right as of this moment,” he crossed his legs and continued, “Let me tell you a story; a secret.” Notes: it was supposed to be a oneshot but my need for novel shen wei characterization bled through so now it’s a 3shot *sigh*

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Title: 狗在江湖 Notes: this is a mix of novel and drama elements AND it’s a/b/o AND it has 30 chapters so obv i cried

Title: Sweet Dreams Summary: 朱白ABO，架空末世微悬疑。 Notes: okay so it was weird for me at first bc they were using zhubai’s names until i realized they were pertaining to weilan derivative in general AND OKAY LISTEN - the plot??? THE PLOT??? GLORIOUS

Title: 我说所有的酒都不如你 Summary: 这大概是一个东江二哈狼和东江气死猫你追我跑你继续追我假装跑你拼命追我跑不动了的爱情故事（。 Notes: 2Luo aka Luo Fusheng x Luo Fei weilan derivative and this is legit my favorite derivative fic!!! they mixed both dramas and fed me sentinel + guide trope AND THEN WOW PLOT

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Title: Black Cloak Reversed Summary: Chief Zhao is a little too friendly with the Black-Cloaked Envoy. The members of the SID worry that he's being emotionally disloyal to Professor Shen. Notes: drama; zhao yunlan is a filthy, thirsty man and SID mourns over this fact

Title: my heart broke loose on the wind Summary: If Yunlan is going to learn how to make actual food that requires more effort than just boiling water and putting hot water into stuff, he’s going to have to take all the notes. “Right,” he says to himself. “How hard can it be?” He watches all twenty-two minutes and fourteen seconds of Chef Shen's video without fast-forwarding. When it comes to an end, he clicks on the replay button. He ends up taking zero notes, and the only thing he manages to learn from the whole exercise is that Chef Shen -Shen Wei- is really fucking beautiful when he smiles. Notes: au; alternative summary - ye zun: how thirsty are you for my bro zhao yunlan: thirsty? pls im a paragon of all things holy, i am a kind and generous citizen of the world, i am - ye zun: i can help you get in his pants zhao yunlan: - thirsty af; i am very thirsty

Title: when we reunite, the world will tilt on its axis Summary: Zhao Yunlan tries to figure out how he should approach the matter of young Shen Wei. Notes: drama; babey!shen wei who's so earnest and genuinely in-love ahhh im soft

Title: Wild Thing, Stop Your Teasing Summary: Shen Wei’s eyelid twitch as Yunlan unwraps another lollipop, closes his spit-shiny lips around the spherical head while looking at Shen Wei under dark eyes and thick lashes. Fists clenched on his pant leg, Shen Wei swallows and tamps down the urge to grab Yunlan across the table. Notes: drama; when you think zhao yunlan's thirst has a limit - he goes an open his mouth but hey shen wei's head over heels thousands of years ago already anyway

Title: Tease the Wild Thing Summary: Yunlan's POV from shaenanigans' awesome fic ''Wild Thing, Stop your Teasing''. Yeah, it's the one with the lollipops, and the porn with feels. You know. The Good Stuff. Notes: more weilan smut after the one above?? SIGN ME TF UP

Title: without complexities or pride Summary: “Kunlun Hall’s rules do not apply to you,” Yunlan says simply, moving to steep some tea for Shen Wei. “You are the Black Cloak Envoy. Lord Kunlun holds you in high regard.” “And you hold him in high regard,” Shen Wei adds before he’s able to stop himself. Shen Wei can hear the wretched jealousy in his own voice, and no doubt Yunlan can as well, because Yunlan’s smile turns sly, and his eyes are very knowing when he says, “In a way, I suppose I do.” Notes: (Or, the Not-Exactly-A-Courtesan!Yunlan fic.) >> im crying bc YES

Title: Every ridge hand-picked by the late sun’s slant light Summary: Zhao Yunlan gets up to greet this man, his destiny – who is currently scowling behind his fancy embroidered mask – and smiles as filthily as he can make it. Whatever else they might be to each other, Shen Wei has been taunting him for weeks. Zhao Yunlan is going to take him home and fuck him until he cries and he wants Shen Wei to know that. “Long time, no see,” he says. The Black Cloaked Envoy blanches. Notes: when i say i thirst for weilan papapa where shen wei loses his self control - I MEAN IT

Title: that's where you belong Summary: First of all, how dare Shen Wei. Second of all, Zhao Yunlan has been looking forward to this for like, as long as he's been aware that Shen Wei is an alpha. Third of all -- Notes: im crying bc all i ever wanted was for novel weilan's characterization bc i know their papapa would be the hottest with that and i have been fed with this need and even partnered w/ a/b/o trope /SOBS

Title: Just Cared Too Much Summary: Zhao Yun Lan found out his father was dead while he was pouring concrete down the throat of a backstabbing dickbag. “Chief, I'm sorry, the Boss is gone. Shot to the head, on his way to meet the Russians.” Notes: i was dying to have a mafia au and this appeared THANK YOU; and def one of the other things that pushed me to finish my own mafia au for weilan lol

Title: 家教 - or - Domestic Education Summary: Shen Wei is the Ghost King, born out of the unyielding chaos of entropy that had consumed the underworld before the creation of the wheel of reincarnation. He's the cosmic guardian of death and all her darlings, and the universe through the lens of his eye is rife with demons, hungry ghosts, and shadows creeping out of their places. So there is absolutely no way he is getting sick. Notes: im novel verse trash and we get that PLUS mama!zhao uhh hell yes???

Title: Sarva Summary: Or, 一切. At work, in public, Shen Wei is meticulously, seamlessly polite. In bed, he's something else. Notes: this was the first weilan smut i read AND ALL THE YES BC SHEN WEI LOSING IT FOR ZHAO YUNLAN IS MY KINK

Title: Future Forged Summary: Masquerading as Kunlun, Zhao Yunlan sets out on a mission to recover the stolen Hallows alongside the young Shen Wei. Along the way, he discovers new abilities, forges new bonds, unearths old histories, and learns that the universe goes beyond his wildest imagination. Notes: lol way better take on what happened during that time travel thing than what the drama had

Title: who you allow Summary: But then Zhao Yunlan goes and gets a haircut, and Shen Wei. Pouts. For like three days. Notes: for the record - i, too, believe shen wei will pout bc of this

Title: Significant Other Colour Summary: Collars are so old-fashioned and Zhao Yunlan can’t help but feel that there’s an ulterior motive hiding behind Shen Wei’s innocently widened eyes. Notes: tfw i've tried to bury my needs on acknowledging how shen wei canonically wants to lock up zhao yunlan and then this fic hits me - author pls let me love you (for y'all heed the warnings)

Title: Afterimage Summary: Zhu Yi Long is an awkward turtle. Now he has to deal with letting Shen Wei and Ye Zun go. Notes: okay so im not really into fics on real people but this was done so well? it explores the effects of zhu yilong's method acting and sets straight that zhubai and weilan are not one and the same at the end of the day

Title: Twill Seeker Summary: The young master has a thing for the butler. The butler is at the end of his rope. Notes: if anyone comes after me and my apparent need for butler shen wei and young master zhao yunlan, hide me

Title: When You're Old, You Want To Celebrate Birthdays At Home Summary: Shen Wei comes home to a surprise. Notes: me, wiping a tear: oh look, a ye zun characterization i actually like even if he's mentioned only

Title: do nothing day Summary: “The stress of work is exhausting me and my wife is scolding me now,” Zhao Yunlan pretends to whine, hiding his face in the blankets. “You’ve seen who I work with, those stubborn kids who cause me nothing but trouble. You’re supposed to be on my side, meant to pity me when the world turns against me. I deserve this day off and I reserve the right to do as I please. And if I want to be a slug in the bed then that’s what I’m going to do.” Notes: "It’s so gentle that Shen Wei almost can’t stand it, the way Zhao Yunlan lets him do as he likes, just receiving whatever Shen Wei wants to give him. And there’s so much that Shen Wei wants to lavish onto his Zhao Yunlan." -- dont bother for the ambulance i know im DOA

Title: Heat and Desire Summary: Five times Zhao Yunlan had an oral fixation and one time Shen Wei did something about it. Notes: "You tease me, Zhao Yunlan," Shen Wei whispers, his breath tickling against Zhao Yunlan’s ear. "You tease me and you tease me and you seem to think that I won't do anything about it." -- me, choking: IM FINE

Title: Just A Phone Call Away Summary: Chief Zhao gets hurt on a case and nobody wants to be the one to call Professor Shen and tell him.... Notes: SID family + shen wei's first reaction to the call??? sign me up

Title: Never Losing You Summary: Yunlan can't open his eyes, can't shut his mouth. Needy, keening noises pour out of his throat completely out of his control. Shen Wei's closed fist is around him, pumping fast and tight in rhythm to his fucking, making him see stars exploding behind closed eyelids, thoroughly engulfed by the incredible sensations racketing up and down his spine originating from where they're so deliciously joined. Shen Wei's other hand cradles his jaw, careful, reverent, but also serves to ground Yunlan to the bed so Shen Wei can fuck him harder, deeper. Notes: i can never have enough weilan papapa bc if canon doesn't give me the explicit juicy details then im turning to fic writers with metaphorical gold payment

Title: third time's the charm Summary: “I’m what Da Qing likes to describe as ‘especially tenacious’ when I’m in heat, even more so when I have a specific Alpha in mind,” Yunlan tells him, casual. (Or, three times Shen Wei helps Zhao Yunlan through his heat.) Notes: me, looking through the window with a faraway look: a/b/o universe makes me weak even if it's not even explicit

Title: this secret language that we speak Summary: "If you don't want to do this any more," says Shen Wei, "you get off the couch, and we'll do whatever you want. Do you understand?" Zhao Yunlan is so hot he thinks he's going to light the couch on fire. He swallows and nods."I didn't hear you," says Shen Wei, implacable as death. "Do you understand?" Zhao Yunlan has to clear his throat, and when he manages to speak, his voice is gravelled with arousal. "Yeah. I do." "Good," says Shen Wei. Notes: i cried 69 times bc my horny ass is fed and jfc domineering shen wei??? *cries for the 70th time*

Title: Shen Wei Summary: Shen Wei loves Zhao Yunlan, and there is only so long he can feign otherwise. Notes: [Zhao Yunlan gives a small shrug, uninvested in the argument. “All right. And where do you belong?” Shen Wei freezes, flashes of memory assaulting him, of Kunlun’s skin hot against his, of promises moaned against each other’s necks. Inside you is all he can think.] BINCH I DIED AT THIS PART

Title: Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This Summary: Zhao Yunlan jerks back to the waking world gasping and screaming and drowning in the anguish that comes with being lit on eternal consuming fire. The unmistakable rich copper taste of blood fills his mouth and he opens tear-filled bloodshot eyes that he was sure melted a long time ago with the rest of his physical body. He sees faces crowding around him in varying degrees of worry, but the pain blinds him from putting names to the faces. His throat feels raw, as if he'd been screaming for centuries and realizes on the next breath that he's been screaming a name. Shen Wei's name. Notes: drama-verse but a hopeful one TYL im here for the whole the last episode didn’t happen bc we can use the plot that the drama threw away lol

Title: Aftermath Summary: The fallout after the dust has settled. Notes: a look on what happened after the 4th extra in the novel; s o f t

Title: The world that we'll invent Summary: Shen Wei's self-control continues to be tested. Notes: [Nothing in Shen Wei's long existence has prepared him for the problem that is Zhao Yunlan.] >> honestly this is the summary of weilan in general

Title: Quiet Heart, Hollow Body Summary: It has been ten thousand years since Shen Wei met Kunlun, but he could never forget the one who first saw beyond the mask of the Black Cloaked Envoy to the person beneath. Notes: im novel bias for so many reasons but this was absolutely amazing as a drama setting bc it /is/ closer to the novel setting bc shen wei was actually awake those 10,000 years so that desperation and intensity of novel!sw is closer here - really great read

last updated: March 2, 2020

#weilan #shen wei #zhao yunlan #zhenhun #镇魂 #guardian #zhinfo

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