#and that ten year period Really kinda fucked me up

[followerofmercy]

For the game ask thingy.... how about 3, 6, 16, and 27?

From this game here:

3: Best game you’ve ever played?

aaaa by what criteria? For most fun gameplay wise, Monster Hunter 3u. For most fun concept, Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise. Story, Undertale. Overall enjoyment, Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker.

6: A game that’s changed you the most?

I think this weird little playstation game called Scaler was very formative to how I feel about animals now. It's about a boy who cares a LOT about lizards and gets transported into a reptile-dominated world while also getting to take on the forms of different reptiles. It's the first game I can remember that I was obsessed over.

16: Character you’ve hated most? From what game?

I have a pretty strong dislike for Dr. Ratio from Honkai: Star Rail, but my opinion of him is changing as I realize he actually cares a little bit about people dsaljf. I also thought Emile from Halo: Reach was a bit of a dickhead but, again, warmed up to him over time.

27: Has there ever been a moment that has made you cry?

Oh, tons. I cried in FFX when Yuna danced to send the departed, when Auron sat in pain at the gate of the Farplane and in a really meta moment when Yuna was the only character I had with an ultimate weapon. She'd outgrown all of her guardians and I was so touched aslfd

I've cried three times in Honkai: Star Rail in the last week! There was a point where a lady is trying to kill herself and you have to hold onto her. She snaps back that you don't just get to play hero in this one moment and leave her to suffer later and that... That fucked me up a bit. Aventurine also has a pre-recorded message on joining that party shortly after, again, killing himself (?). Then there was Aventurine's onscreen mental breakdown! I think Focalors's death in Genshin also got some waterworks.

Also Six's death in Reach. It was a GOOD ending. Shame they only made Halo 1-4 and Reach and then just stopped. Felt like they were going somewhere.

Oh and Minecraft has made me cry as a teenager! I opened up a new survival world, thought about how I have literally more virtual world than I could possibly explore myself with nobody in it and felt so overwhelmed with loneliness that I had to close the game asldfjsdfa.

[yandere-daydreams]

other batfam anon gets it. i'd just like to add that, personally, it's kinda anything that's begrudgingly platonic. adore when it's a kidnapping scenario. whether they're "respecting" your boundaries by just pushing them a teeny bit (when they feel like it (so, usually)), or because there's a delusional relationship they're trying to uphold, or they think it's the way to earn your trust/love.... all good to me. love it. love the creeping dread that they might just get tired of just platonic.

ah fjdksfjlkdjfkljlfdljs there's just something so tasty about that period of time after the older members of the batfam realizing they have a bit of a thing for the new civilian captive but before someone snaps and actually does something with their feelings. dick and tim might take a more delusional, well-meaning approach and try to justify their habit of lingering outside of you and bruce's bedroom door by telling themselves that they just want to make sure you're adjusting comfortably :), while stephanie and jason might be a little more playful about it, ""accidently"" brushing against you or disregarding your boundaries entirely because hey, you're practically family, right? meanwhile, you just have to cling to bruce (who'd sooner die than acknowledge his fucked up kids) and really play into the role that's been forced onto you, because the alternative is going from 'reluctant parental figure' to 'communal vigilante fucktoy' and you'd prefer to keep your waking nightmare limited to the one superhero.

bonus: damian is going to have to stay out of this for obvious reasons, but i do think it'd be funny if he was just involved enough to notice how the rest of the batfam has been acting and be absolutely pissed that all these orphans want to fuck his step-mom. all this shit's going on and there's just a ten year old absolutely seething in the background.

[moonshynecybin]

thinking about how rosquez age gap dynamic would change post reconciliation but not now but in like 5-10 years. we all know how vale is about his age so he would be “i’m old maybe marc deserves someone younger more fun and his age” but he would never say that just joke it off like he always does when talking about his age. and marc having a very nothing new by taylor swift complex “will you still want me when i’m nothing new?”, he’s probably retired and thinking “does valentino still thinks i’m cool? he met me when i was in my prime twink era what if he sees im not like that anymore”

YAYYYYY i think theyre BOTH WEIRD ABOUT IT yayyyyyy. okay so. the thing about being a professional athlete is that while you are young and shiny it feels like you will be young and shiny FOREVER ! and then the horrors. and then you turn thirty. and then everyone around you is ten years younger and their body works correctly and they pick up on the stuff YOU pioneered and the press is talking about you like youre a HORSE that they want to sent to the GLUE FACTORY. so i imagine. that those influences can give you somewhat of a complex about your age. i think vale (company is dominated by young twinks comma. clown.) and marc (arm pain boy comma. got a haircut specifically to look younger right before visiting a track he has historically dominated at.) are not in fact immune to this. especially because marc was essentially the move over old man signal to vale in many ways. like imagine your bf is a physical reminder that you no longer can do what you used to be able to do in a sport that is and was your life's work. ouegh.

SO ! POST REUNION ! if its like vale in his 50s marc in his mid to late thirties, staring down his time in the sport coming to an end. a transitionary period then yeah. they think about it. i think MARC is actually a lot more keyed up about this specifically bc vale frankly had to work that out a bit ago. and he does still lowkey think hes god lbr. marc ALSO has an ego the size of the sun but i think it honestly really distresses him a bit more when his body is malfunctioning. maybe i just think that bc hes cried on camera about it multiple times while vale simply changes the subject but i DIGRESS. my barbie dolls shh. marc get a little in his head about it ! tries to fix it by doing crazy shit like getting bad haircuts and buying a stupid amount of moisturizer. new lingerie. i would say he does more crazy and spontaneous activities but he loves adrenaline so bad i fear he's kinda already doing that.... BUT. he's also doing stuff like not letting vale in on his PT appointments.... pretending he's the same as when he was twenty and it was EASY and he didn't have to figure out who he was after motogp because he was the youngest rookie to do x y and z so he should be able to do this FOREVER. and it think he holds his ability to WIN so close to himself.... a measure of how well his life is going fr.... like the last time he couldn't win were 2015 (when vale LEFT HIM) and 2020 to present (ARMMMMM). hes buggin

and i think vale eventually notices and is like oh my god whta. dude HUH ? truly kinda flabbergasted lmao. he fucks him about it and truly THATS what calms marc down a bit (not entirely.... it lingers....). like nose in vale's armpit afterwards stroking his BALD SPOT while vale is like. my love you are three years older than i was when i met you. calm down.

[pansexual-puppy-pack]

day 2 of @theoraekenapperciation 's theo raeken appreciation week: on accident

Theo's not entirely sure how, but Brett, Lori, and Alec end up following him around.

He'd enrolled back in Beacon Hills High School as a senior, and after everything that happened, Brett and Lori decided to transfer in from Devenford Preperatory School, and Derek strongarmed Alec into enrolling, too.

This meant that he and Brett were in the same year, taking a lot of the same classes, and that Alec and Lori were in their sophomore year—which, in turn, meant that they all (for some fucking reason) started attaching themselves to Theo's hip.

Theo tried telling Liam about this over a free period they both had, but Liam just laughed and asked him why he was complaining about getting new friends. Theo had sighed, and no more than ten seconds later, Brett had decided to seat himself on Theo's other side.

"See?" Theo asked Liam, gesturing to Brett's—well, everything, really.

Liam shrugged. "Can't be that bad."

Theo leaned over the table. "I literally see them 24/7. We live in the same loft. We go to the same school. Alec even hides in my backseat sometimes so he can catch a ride with me."

("What're we talking about?" Brett asked, pulling out a textbook and his laptop. Theo turned to him and said, "Don't act like you didn't listen in on the way here." Brett gave him a shit-eating grin.)

Liam rolled his eyes. "I think they just like you, Theo."

Theo groaned, a little over-dramatically.

At the end of the school day, Theo "accidentally" forgets to let the three know that he's heading home. (He just got in his truck and left—he needed some time alone.)

...But it's not like that's ever stopped them before.

He barely gets to Corey's neighborhood before he spots it—Brett's signature black car, running a red light, with Lori and Alec sticking their heads and bodies out the windows.

Theo curses and makes a u-turn—louder than expected, tires squealing as he goes—and speeds off. He almost misses the shouts of Alec and Lori as Brett's car does the same and starts to chase him.

Fuck him, it's not like it's exactly _easy_ to hide a big, black pickup truck. He doesn't know this area of Beacon Hills as well as the rest of it and kinda banked on Brett not knowing it either—but he guessed that he was being tracked on the Pack-mandatory Find My Friends. (He should've turned it off. Fuck.)

"Get your ass back here!" Theo heard Brett yell, his engine roaring as he started catching up.

Shit.

Theo clicks his tongue and makes a sharp left, rolling quickly back on one of the main roads of Beacon Hills and basically racing Brett through the streets and—giving up halfway through the drive—back to the Hale loft...

...And instead somehow ends up at the Hale Auto Shop. (On accident, he swears. It's like his body just decided to get to a different place.)

He loses the three on the way there, too; how, he has absolutely no idea, but he's grateful for it. He lets himself into the auto shop, waving at Derek, and letting his feet lead him to the too-cozy couch in Derek's office. (Derek'll understand. He's not exactly a bursting social butterfly, either.)

Theo falls face-first onto it and drifts right off to sleep, quiet for the first time in a month.

...For like, ten minutes, maybe, because it isn't long before Theo feels the couch dip with new weight then two bodies pile on top of his.

He groans. "Is an hour of sleep too much to ask?"

Brett's laugh comes from Derek's desk. Opening his eyes, Theo sees him pulling out his notebook and laptop—looks like it's gonna be a long night. Especially since Lori and Alec's combined weight are threatening to take all of Theo's air, and he's about 70% sure that another minute like this would end up with at least one of them suffocating.

Lori hums and rests her chin on the top of his head. "You didn't tell us where you were going. We got worried,"

"I can take care of myself," Theo gruffs, reaching a hand up to bat away at her.

"Yeah—" Alec says, batting back in her defense. "—But it's more fun when you're with other people, right?"

Theo sighs and decides to roll over, effectively sending both Alec and Lori toppling to the floor.

The sound they make draws Derek's footsteps towards the room. "Could you guys not fuck up my office?"

"Derek!" Alec calls from the floor. "Help, Theo assaulted us!"

Derek opens the door, and his gaze is immediately drawn to Alec and Lori on the floor, then up to Theo lying peacefully on the couch. He rolls his eyes. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Hi, Theo."

Theo waves again. "Hey,"

Derek checks out the room, seems to decide that it's in an okay state, and walks back out. "Dinner at seven! Be there!"

A chorus of yeah's echoes through his office as the door softly shuts behind him.

Theo promptly falls back asleep.

[according2thelore]

i just reread ur Love Potion no. 9 and now I’m thinking about es!dean cooking ls!sam a ribeye bc he has a KITCHEN here and ls!sam trying to make himself eat it <3 anyway love ur stuff so much

EEP! thank you anon! i love domestic winchesters so much, lol!

this idea crawled into my head and stuck there until i wrote it. this is humiliatingly long but thank you for the prompt!!! your brain anon!!!

mwah!! mwah!!! <3

the smell brings sam into the kitchen. younger dean is standing near the stovetop, shuffling dishes around. when sam clears his throat, about to ask what he's making, the kid jumps.

"are you making dinner?" sam asks, confused. dean picks up the dishtowel, wiping his hands. sam's younger self and older dean went out to get extra spark plugs for the old junker in the garage an hour ago, and sam was planning on reheating some takeout from the other night.

dean hasn't dropped the dishtowel, kneading it between his hands like he's trying to strangle it.

"yeah, y'know. grandpa told me that i--he--us. we? do a lot of the cooking."

sam rolls his eyes because dean has gotten in the habit of calling older dean 'grandpa' and 'the geezer' and 'ol dusty.' it's cute.

but gosh, the smell. sam's stomach roils. dean must see something shift on his face because he's quick to explain.

"d'you remember when we were stuck outsida asheville? and the only thing we had were those hotdogs?"

sam can't help but wrinkle his nose. he definitely remembers. dean had done everything he could do dress them up and make it different, but they went on a hotdog strike for months after, only choosing other food if they had a choice.

"i got real handy with the grill. that's...kinda the only gourmet cooking i've got under my belt. i asked, but. uh. anyway. i made you steak? a ribeye steak?"

it sounds like a question at the end and sam's stomach sinks because oh shit. dean made this. dean made this for me. sam looks over dean's shoulder, easier than it would be if dean were his older self, pounds of muscle not packed in yet.

that's where he's been. he's been in here since before the other two even left. cooking dinner. for sam. to eat.

it's not even a question of if sam's going to do it. because he is going to do it.

it's a question of how neutral can he make his face as he chokes it down.

and oh god, it's huge. the steak is as big as dean's face, and sam knows for a fact that he must have picked it out specifically, because dean did not have that thing in their fridge.

sam's stomach goes wobbly with the image of this little dean, trailing in aisles in the local grocery store with a hat pulled low over his eyes (like they had all agreed to do until this blew over), deciding which steak sam would like the best.

"oh wow!" sam says, trying to sound encouraging. "it's big."

dean flushes fourteen different shades of pink over a period of ten seconds, and yeah. sam sighs. he's going to eat the fucking steak.

six minutes later, after dean had pushed sam down into a chair and let his hand on sam's shoulder linger for two seconds longer than it should have--

(and really, dean is not smooth. sam wished he had known back in 2006 that dean was this easy to fluster because he would've fallen to his knees in shitty motel carpet ten years early and saved them all a lot of heartache.)

--sam is staring at easily sixteen ounces of meat. to dean's credit, it looks like it should feature on a grilling magazine or something. but all sam can smell is the slightly seared odour of flesh.

"and i heard that you like greens, so--" sam tears his eyes away and dean awkwardly balances a bagged salad in his hands. sam feels like crying. this is going to be a rough few minutes.

"share it with me," sam asks, begs really, but dean just shakes his head.

"nah, man. i made it for you. i've got one for me." and sure enough, sam's stomach sinks as dean brings over another plate to the table with a much more reasonably sized offering.

"great." sam says, smiling bleakly. his throat is clogged and thick when he swallows. he tastes acid at the back of his throat. they sit in silence for a few minutes while sam pops the salad bag, trying to frantically puzzle out how he's going to eat this thing.

he could eat it as fast as possible? give his nerves less time to process the hot skin sliding down his throat. but the chances of him throwing up would increase exponentially. he could chew and hide bites in his napkin? but dean would catch it.

sam's stomach sinks. he's going to have to chew it. and swallow it. and let it sit in his stomach. heavy and full. skin grease and meat tearing under his teeth. sam's mind whites-out with the memory of the cage, of being forced to eat his own thigh down to the bone.

"so..." dean asks, "how long have we lived here?"

sam looks up, and realizes that dean is gripping his beer bottle so tight that it looks like it might shatter in his hand. sam softens. kid looks like he's going to shit himself.

"you know i can't tell you that." sam chides. and he picks up his fork. he picks up his knife. he braces himself. and he cuts.

"and what are your...what are your plans?" dean asks, thirty minutes later. they've been talking back and forth, trading memories of things pre-2006. sam's been trying to keep this strictly common knowledge, and dean--unlike sam's younger self--takes it mostly in stride.

sam feels an automatic reflex to burp rising in his throat, and he locks his muscles as much as he can because if he feels the taste of aerosolized meat in his mouth again, he will vomit.

half the steak is gone, and dean's food is completely gone. he doesn't seem to be in any rush, and keeps giving sam more beer. sam keeps having to take sips after each bite to wash the taste away as soon as he can, so he appreciates it. dean seems more and more surprised that sam isn't letting more slip, and sam smirks to think of how much of a light-weight he used to be.

is dean trying to get him drunk? sam's kind of flattered, he thinks.

"my plans?" sam repeats, raising an eyebrow.

"yeah. y'know. for the future."

sam looks at dean appraisingly. it could be a ploy for information, but for some reason, dean looks prematurely disappointed, like he's bracing himself for bad news. sam quickly takes another bite, thin enough that he can swallow it down without chewing at all.

"well." sam says, slowly. taking another swig of beer. "i've always wanted a dog. but--" he smiles. "'grandpa' says no. he's afraid it's going to get hair all over the car."

dean blinks at him. like he's waiting for something else. but when sam just stuffs another bite in his throat, dean cracks a hesitant smile.

"well. grandpa's very wise. i've always said so. dander is shit for leather."

sam smiles, rolling his eyes, when he hears footsteps.

"did someone grill out inside--" dean. older dean. he rounds the corner, and freezes when he sees the steak in front of sam. his younger self sitting across from him. "what the fuck?"

"dean, it's okay--" sam says, quickly, before dean can say anything, but dean is already storming across the room.

"did you eat this?" he demands, but before sam can say anything, dean whirls on his younger self. "he doesn't eat meat, jackass."

the younger dean blanches. "what? yeah he does. we eat burgers all the time."

"not my sam, one tree hill." dean turns around to face sam again. "are you okay?"

in truth, sam already feels the meat settling oddly in his stomach. he feels like he's going to be sick. but he just glares at dean instead, furious. the cage is sam's to tell--or sam's to bury, in this case. dean's tone is too acerbic for young dean to not pick up on the weight of it. it's clear from dean's tone alone that sam's aversion to meat is not a choice made on ethics.

younger dean looks like he's about to cry, sitting back in his chair. silence stretches for a second.

"give us a minute." sam snaps. dean flushes a furious shade of scarlet.

"what the hell? i'm not--"

"dean." sam says, cutting. dean peters into silence, and sam looks at both deans, one furious and one crestfallen. "he was doing something nice."

"by forcing you to--"

sam puts a hand on dean's, pushing the plate in his hands down. he makes eye contact, and sees the concern there. dean's never been good at letting sam take care of himself, and sam can already see how a version of himself 'hurting' sam is making him ready to start throwing punches. he softens.

"i'm going to be fine. let me handle this, please. i'll catch up with you later."

dean's mouth twists up in a snarl. "sam--"

"later." sam repeats, and dean growls something unintelligible as he storms out of the room. sam sags forward, finally allowing himself to process how full and ill he feels. how the alien flesh in his stomach feels revolting, thick.

"why didn't you say anything?" a quiet voice. sam looks up, smiling a genuine smile this time, and allowing it to look as weird as it probably does.

"i can't." sam says, apologetic. he's not going to tell dean anything about it. he can't know. dean rubs a hand over his face.

"i'm not used to not knowing you, sammy." he murmurs, looking sick. he looks so young that sam's chest contracts. what a sorry pair they make.

"you know me." sam reassures softly. "i'm your little brother."

dean looks up at him then, huffing an unamused snort. they look at each other for a long while, sam tracing the round curves of dean's face. his wide eyes. sam wonders what dean sees when he looks at him.

"yeah. okay." dean says, finally. "'m sorry."

sam shrugs. "how about we get outta here? there's a diner down by the movies that makes a mean veggie burger."

dean nods, still looking lost.

"they also make the best pecan pie in the state. we've checked."

dean snorts, and there he is: sam's big brother. young, and lost, but undeniably here, in the swoop of his bottom lip as he smiles.

sam's chest expands with his first full breath in almost an hour, and something else. something warm.

"i'll be the judge of that." dean says, cocky and all false-reassurance. sam wants to kiss him. but he stands instead, and nods towards the door.

"lead the way."

~~~

i saw something the other day that suggested veggie!sam was a hot take, and i think i'm only a partial veggie!sam believer. i think it comes and goes--he has good and bad days.

i can only imagine the cage made sam's relationship to consuming meat weirder. but who knows! thank you again for the prompt anon!!!

-lizzy

[fullmetalfears]

Hoenheim is one of my favorite characters in the OG FMA manga and Brotherhood. He made me love the sad immortal that hates themself trope, and in general I find the combination of failed father figure, gentle kind person, and the violence he accidently did to his people make for a dynamic character.

But I do 100% think FMA made the other characters far too quick to forgive Hoenheim for leaving the boys.

In the manga, it was directly said that Hoenheim wrote back home but in the anime you get NOTHING. Either way, the man left for a decade, during the most important period of his children's lives as children... because he felt like a monster. Not because he was actually doing things to his kids, but HE wanted to live like a human.

It's shitty. It's awful. One of the people that Ed and Al were supposed to rely on most left because he couldn't get over his own misery. Instead of waiting even a few years to make sure they could even take care of themselves better before leaving, he left before they could even really remember him at all.

I say this not because I don't think it was a good character decision. In fact I think it's tragic in a way that the series needs. The lack of clear lines between monsters and people, where one of Hoenheim's worst decisions is leaving his wife and kids, something that any person can do.

Hoenheim's real flaw when it comes to his family is not valuing that people want him to be there.

Which makes his final offer to Ed to sacrifice himself take on a different light.

In canon, the manga/anime make it clear that Ed calling Hoenheim a shitty father was meant to be as much Ed chastising Hoenheim for not understanding they won't use philosopher stones as it is an acknowledge that Ed accepts him as his father.

But to me, it shows that Hoenheim still hasn't learned why leaving was such an awful blow to the family. Yes, Trisha died because he wasn't there but even if he came back ten years later, did he still expect it to be from a loving family? Did Hoenheim expect the world to stand still while he left?

Hoenheim is still sacrificing himself after all this damn time. He still doesn't see that being there for his kids could invaluable. Maybe they grew up without him, and hell, maybe he doesn't deserve a second chance after so long, but for the boys, making sure you live to the next day is their entire philosophy. And Hoenheim, is willing to give that next day up.

In context, he's giving himself up for his boys after all this time of putting his own feelings first, but he would still be gone. What's worse, in Ed's perspective it's an impossible choice. If Ed couldn't have thought of another way to get Al back, Hoenheim basically offered Ed a chance to kill him in exchange for his brother.

You know. Killing. The one thing that Ed will not fucking do.

Hoenheim doesn't understand Ed. He also even after all this time doesn't get that living for them and to move forward would be the best thing he could do.

So yeah. I adore Hoenheim but the manga/anime kinda does a clumsy job with him. It does such a good job of setting Hoenheim up as looming negative premise in the beginning and then the story overcorrects in trying to make you like him that it forgets that, yeah, leaving your wife and kids for a decade is kinda bad actually!!!

It doesn't help that no one else is angry at Hoenheim. Izumi knew the boys as small children, presumably orphans and yet greets Hoenheim warmly. In the manga the people of Risembol are baffled on his arrival but otherwise move on. Pinako WHO BASICALLY HELPED RAISED THEM is just sorta neutral towards him. Even Al isn't angry. He just wants his dad back which is fine, but it leaves Ed's anger as an outlier, like it's childish of him not to understand.

By the time of his death, Hoenheim doesn't really learn anything. He's forgiven because he really was a good dude and he felt really bad about leaving for a decade so he can totally be forgiven by everyone right?

Right.

So yeah. Hoenheim? Great character, but awful dad which is part of why he's a good character but the story really pulls its punches about him.

~Luna

[clockworkcheetah]

*shaking your shoulders* hiiiii tell me everything about your thought process behind writing your incredible bangfic the bad dog nerves, inspiration characters writing EVERYTHING it's so good tell us more

hiii getting to talk about my creations!!! ahhh

ok so cause its been a couple of months and my memory is nothingness aka im a little hazy on some stuff. buuuuuut i distinctly remember several things that heavily inspired TBDN im just gonna run my thoughts as they come so i apologise if its incoherent. i am also putting this under a readmore for the sake of everyone. and because spoilers for the fic

first inspo was deathmark2 cause it got its english translation earlier this year (i love deathmark but ill say everytime i talk of it its very difficult to recommend cause it needs so many content warnings). im very much the kinda person who can and will mash fandoms together- ill make those parallels. god cant stop me. basically dm is what got the ball rolling for me- spirits and possession and influenced moods. its only inspired pretty loosely by dm- very much the general concept/brainrot for both fandoms kinda deal. also more horror elements in dghda yes pls

another thing that inspired it was the doctor who ep 'midnight'. that ep was chilling- i think about how you can tell ten is fully awake and aware during his possession and it stuck with me- a+ acting from david. its a fear of mine being fully awake/aware whilst having no control of your body/immobilised and you cant do anything but wait for the inevitable. granted todd leaned more towards anger, or like the five stages of grief, than fear. but that felt more him also cause it went on longer than a few hours (or rather he expresses his fear through anger/lashing out) but i wanted that ugly rawness of it- hes nervous like a bad dog ay ayyyyyyy

(i sorta wish i went harder with it at the end with his scene with dirk, but alas he was burnt out and healing)

also tbh i just love scenes like that in media too. the character is right there! its so close and nobody is helping them so they gotta save their own ass and be a bitch about it

also i just kinda wanted more fics where dirk just fucks up?? like theres no hoops being jumped through to make what he said right (im not exactly a fan of this fanon!dirk where hes this saint who does no wrong/is always right/everyone else is to blame) so that was a goal in mind when writing this- dirk mostly, but also amanda to an extent of being wrong (not like in some horrible malicious way just. you made a bad call. u gotta live with it). also why todd was quicker to forgive farah (or at least be on better terms with her than the others- i really wish i included a convo between them aw well) granted these arent really specific to this fic- i like to have it in other fics, i need those two to fuck up. as well as todd getting to be angry/upset without this notion that he cant cause he did bad things therefore can only be bad, undeserving person forever cause thats how it works obviously (look if i wanted content of todd fucking up id watch the show lemme have something else with fics- ok ill stop being salty now asdfghjkl;)

i also really wanted the aftermath of what happened to be explored (i love the concept of possession/mindcontrol but shows kinda brush it off after the character is freed. like??? youre telling theyre all sunshine and fine now??? no way, theres gonna be a recovery period. aka todds body being weak from literally having zero nutrients, miru not taking care of the body, also learning to have control of his own body again

with the characters or i guess specifically project miru, she wasnt inspired by anything specific. i really like tragic but unsympathetic characters in media so wanted to have a try at it, and to explore the whole riggins' favouritism towards dirk and how the other projects may have felt. idk how well i pulled it off but i had fun writing her interactions with todd even if it was mostly them being dicks to eachother and being a dick to everyone

ok my brain is starting to run on empty so ill close up this haha.

im sure this is universal but when i got the idea of this fic i had the immediate The Scenes™️ for it. they were: amandas confrontation and realising that oh shit it isnt todd the whole time that scene was vivid in my head (also fave scene to write!!) and the other is the final scene with dirk and todd and todd breaking down. todds kinda the 'strong' one of the two (to dirk) and the caretaker- so someone takes care of him and lets him be upset with everyone

but yeah!!! some of my thoughts behind the creation of TBDN 💖🥰🧡 theres stuff i wish i included in the fic and ideas i had after i had already posted but im happy with it regardless. at its core i just wanted some sweet sweet todd whump i wanna traumatise that little man

[betweenthings2]

Number 17 & Gatty from the fluff prompts list has me feeling some kinda way 🥹

Thank you for the ask!! I'm kind of obsessed with this prompt list, so it's linked here if anyone else wants to see it.

Here's fluff prompt 17, “You’re the only person I want to spend my life with."

George isn't entirely sure what he's supposed to do with his relationship with Matty. He knows they love each other. It's an objective fact. They live together. They bought a house together. They share everything. They operate like a couple in all respects. They look like a couple. The problem, though, is that they've never had a conversation about it. Generally, it's fine. George doesn't think Matty is going anywhere and he knows Matty isn't about to start sleeping with anyone else.

Still, that doesn't mean George doesn't worry that this that thing with Matty, this thing he loves with this person he loves, has an expiration date somewhere in the future. He doesn't worry about it all the time, just sometimes, just at times when he couldn't imagine life without Matty this close, just at times like this. Matty is in George's lap, back against his chest, cozy and comfortable, periodically exchanging quiet words and George loves this. He loves having Matty so close, being so connected, loves the warm and solid weight of Matty in his lap. What would he do if he lost this?

Matty sighs and shifts, pressing himself back and resting a hand over George's resting on his belly and continues scrolling kind of aimlessly through social media. When he gets bored, he tosses his phone aside and quietly asks, "Do you ever think about," he pauses, "dunno, the future?"

George gives a half shrug. "A bit, I guess. I've been thinking about being on tour again and what people will think of the record."

"That's not what I mean," Matty says. "I mean, I'm proud of the record. You should be proud of it. I think the fans will like it."

"What do you mean, then?"

"What will things be like, in, like, five years? Ten years?"

"2021? 2026?"

Matty nods. "What do you think things will be like then?"

"I think we'll be happy, really happy," George says almost immediately, thinking of the sometimes fragile mental health they both face, of the stretches of slow and thick quiet that sometimes engulfs their home.

"That's nice, G," Matty murmurs.

"What do you think?" George pushes.

What does Matty think? He thinks a lot of things that he's not going to tell George, so what he says is, "I think we'll still be doing this. Making records, touring, sitting on the sofa." He pauses, then, "I'll keep sitting in your lap."

"You think we'll still be here like this?" George asks quietly. "You think we'll still be us like this?"

Matty nods. "'course we will. What else would we be?"

George doesn't say anything. He's strangely choked up.

And then Matty says, "You're the only person I want to spend my life with."

George is quiet for another moment, finding his voice, then asks, "Really?"

"'course," Matty answers, confused. "What else would you think?"

"I," a pause to consider, "I don't know."

Matty moves so that he can face George repeats, "I wanna spend my life with you. I don’t," he pauses, then, "We spend a lot of time worrying about me, don't we? It's not just you and me, it's everyone, but I didn't realize you were worried about us. I'm sorry."

"'s not your fault," George answers. "And I'm not worried so much as I am, well, we just moved in together, didn't we? There's was no real conversation, just that we should get a flat together and then a house and I just, god, I love this with you and I wonder, if or when I'll have to deal with this ending."

"Fuck, I'm sorry," Matty says, running fingers through his hair. "I, it's not ending, not if I get any say. I thought that was obvious. I'm sorry."

George nods, choked up again, but forces himself to say again, "It's not your fault."

"It probably is a little bit," Matty admits. "I've been told I can be domineering sometimes."

George can't help but let out a laugh. "Really? You? Domineering?"

Matty smiles. "I've been told," he says. He gets serious again, and continues, "But we're ok? You know I love you and that you're stuck with me forever?"

George nods. "Yeah."

Matty's smile comes back and he says, "Good. I'm gonna hog all the blankets and leave mugs everywhere, forever, and you'll just have to deal with it."

"I can't wait," George murmurs, leaning in for a short kiss. "I can't wait."

[shuttershocky]

There's a strange "privilege" I think about sometimes: getting to be a hater.

I cannot stress enough how much being a creative for a living, not just making things but needing to make things to eat, blunts your ability to hate on the internet.

If you showed me now to the me of ten years ago, the past me would find the current me unrecognizable. I was picky as hell with what I liked and notoriously difficult to please, and because I liked to write a lot, I learned how to state my vitriol in words and say exactly why and how I thought something was shit.

I got good enough at it that I got paid to write reviews about video games while in college, and while I attempted to make my criticism more constructive and state my opinions as opinions rather than fact, I wasn't about to go lowering my standards just because someone was an indie working on their first game.

At the same time though, I ended up writing FOR local projects, and that's when it really landed with me that this shit is fucking hard.

Making anything at all involves baring a piece of your soul to the world, but all I had ever made before were short stories that made no sense and would get laughed out of literature club and embarrassing video game fanfiction I was too ashamed to upload to my account on fanfiction.net. I hadn't made things that people were actually supposed to read and play before, and seeing people at cons reading my words on a screen (on a project that sadly went unreleased due to other reasons) was an excruciatingly humbling experience no writing tips or advice ever really prepared me for.

I felt the effect almost immediately. Lots of little annoyances in a game I'd play or in a movie I'd see that I would have given it shit for in the past would just... Get accepted. Some mistakes or even whole creative choices that used to be dealbreakers for me were just regular old minuses. Things I would have found merely passable before became likable in my eyes. I started to find the roughness charming, imagining what sort of bullshit must the creators have gone through to even release this thing at all.

The thing is, I don't think my critical eye has weakened at all. I can still pick out and name parts of a work I would have torn to shreds when I was a teenager. I can still go ham on something I find particularly egregious if I really want to. I just... Don't really want to nowadays. Not anymore.

I don't have the energy for it. I think about what it must have been like to work on something and my tone immediately dials it back several notches because I was once hired to write for a game while in a very dark period of my life and that memory haunts me still.

Now when I don't like something half the time I just don't mention it. When I like something even a little I talk up what I find so enjoyable in it, and I don't even LIKE being positive and restrained, it's just what comes easier to me now. I kinda miss being a hater, but I'm slowly coming to accept that those days are done.

This is just something I think about every once in a while, because now and then someone still remembers how I used to be and assumes I've still got these impossibly high standards. I've had a friend tell me "So and so said that if [Shutters] likes it, it must mean it's really good", and I kind of just have to give a half-hearted "Oh well you know it's got its flaws, I just had a lot of fun" because people regarding my approval as some kind of seal of quality feels sinfully good for my ego, but I don't like getting people to expect a masterpiece off of something that only promises a fun ride. That wouldn't be fair to both them and the work.

I guess I'm still adjusting to my changing standards. There is one nice side effect though: it's a lot easier to enjoy your guilty pleasures when they become just pleasures instead.

[polarseven]

I've been absent from tumblr because my phone broke and I've been busy but there have been so many insane things that have happened in the short period I've taken a break. So I am going to list them here.

-I learned of my workplace's drama! My bosses are officially dating in secret. One of them in nonbinary (I think? it's unclear), and the other is apparently hyper religious and has been instituted in the mental ward in the past for thinking the rapture happened! I don't know what she did to get there but apparently that's a real event. I don't know how those two got into a relationship but everything I think about it I just call it doomed toxi yuri in my head

-another coworker asked me about being poly, and I explained it, and she proceeded to go on about how her bf has cheated on her twice and she wasn't sure if he was poly or not?? after I explained that, no, that's not being poly, that's cheating, she goes on later about how she wants to "get her lick back" and cheat on him in return before breaking up with him. I plead her not to, to no avail. Apparently it's that hard to be a good person and not do two wrongs? They've been together for ten years, apparently. Absolutely insane behavior

-Apparently some of my friends are...trying to use me? I have no fucking clue about this one. One local (cis) queen has a crush on me and we've been talking for a little bit, and supposedly one of my other friends—who has been oddly flirting with me recently, which seemed unusual to me—is apparently doing so because the first friend likes me, to get at her. I feel like a bystander in my own drama and honestly I'd love to keep it that way. I'm just out here trying to be a good friend to the people I know and shit keeps happening, so I'm just gonna make sure to not really. pursue anything relationship-wise with either until it clears up.

-My car keeps dying while driving! It died at a stoplight and in a parking lot. I am not sure how much time she has left.

-My phone is broken! Kinda. The touchscreen works completely, but the screen stays pitch black. Which means I can still call the numbers I have on speed dial, but unless I have it memorized how to do things on my phone there's no doing them! Wild.

So yeah! a lot of crazy bullshit in my life where situations KEEP happening and I simply get to watch them. Can't help but wonder how this keeps happening to me.

[tealenko]

mShenko appreciation post...

So... I usually (ejem... better said always, if I'm being honest XD) choose femShep in Mass Effect.

Long story short, I like to play characters in my own gender... Kinda helps a lot with the immersion, despite the fact that I look nothing like my main Shep. And, in the wise words of my brother: "If I'm gonna have to stare at an ass for hours of gameplay, I prefer it to be a woman's ass" (Nothing against men ass' on my part though... I mean, I'm a Kaidan stan 😳😳😳 but I'm week when it comes to females curves ehehehehehe sue me XD)

Anyways... Butt thing aside, I always play femShep. And the same femShep, Mio Shepard. Because I got the fanfic writer disease back when I was like 13 years old and I haven't found the cure yet, so... All I play, write and draw (because I didn't have enough obsessions already lol) related to the main ME trilogy is about my main shep and Kaidan.

I swear I'm about to make my point, stay with me for a little longer XD

Thing is, with the launch of MELE, I decided to see the mShenko romance for the first time (yep, first time... I imagine you can already tell, but I'm that kind of person that once she likes a game, she plays it a 1000 times but always in the exact same way and making the same choices in every single run).

So here we are, a year later, and here's the post about it 😅😅😅

As I told you before, I tend to focus on fShenko. I love the Shenko fandom as a whole, but from what I've seen and from the people I follow, fShenko is in need of more help, support and content than mShenko (I may be wrong here... but the moment your femshep likes dudes people tends to scream at you why you shouldn't be with Kaidan and my mission in life is to always be there to reply that idgaf about how many aliens they think I should bang XD)

Said all that, mShenko.

It's fucking awesome.

Period.

Like... Truly amazing.

Mesmerizing.

(sorry... I had to XD)

I may be biased here, because Kaidan's arc with his sexuality is very similar to my own, but, the whole "At the end of the day, I'd love you no matter what gender you were" is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole life.

I was also very surprised by the amount of differences there were between both romances... Both of them top tier. And, against all my expectations, I can comfortably say that they are equally good. So if you love Kaidan and you've only seen one side, I really recommend you to check the other (learn from my mistakes ehehehehe although I think I've enjoyed mShenko 10 times more than I would have before making a few discoveries about myself... so I'm kinda happy it took me so long. Now it feels more special to me <;3)

fShenko has all the young, pure~ish, forbidden, cute and heart-racing vibes in ME1 *chef's kiss* and then (after a bit of angst) you have the mature, long-lasting, I'd die for you romance that we all deserve.

mShenko, on the other hand, is more Kaidan focused in my opinion, which I truly like, and his realization of what is love (🎵) and what Shepard really means for him, which I find extremely cute and beautiful.

And I'll admit, I'm the first to complain about Bioware (perks of being a forever resident of the shenko vortex) but I have to congratulate them on the way they wrote mShenko in ME3.

I really thought it would be ultra cringy and forced, because that kind of evolution is not the easiest to write, but I was sooooooo wrong and I'm sooooooo glad that I was. So yay~ to Bioware on this one!

So, yup... I wanted to do a quick post and here we are now, an hour later ehehehehehe 😅😅

Anyways, and to wrap this up, just sharing an opinion (or ten) here... I was just thinking about it today and I felt like writing a post about it (there's always room for more Kaidan appreciation posts <3).

If you ever wanna talk with me about our beautiful canadian marshmallow pm me, tag me, etc. If you respectfully disagree, feel free to tell me how you feel about all of this in a comment. And if you disrespectfully disagree (I don't think that's a term that exists but I'm gonna use it anyways XD) feel free to ignore me and go on with your life, it's not that difficult.

That's all, I think...

Hope you have a lovely day/night.

Imma go to bed and read some fanfics before I fall asleep.

bye bye!!

~~tea

[v-anrouge]

Random Vil and Rook headcannons!

Vil is an animal person, he probably would enjoy owning a reptile to just kinda hang with, but if he could have all the time and energy, he would love a bird. But he knows they’re like toddlers for their entire lives.

Rook is an exotic lover, and would work at or even own a sanctuary. He loves deer the most because of how graceful they are.

Once a month, all of Pomfoire has a cheat day. Vil would love to partake but he’s such a perfectionist he still holds himself fairly high. He stares longingly at Epel’s apple pie every time.

Rook used to be apart of the Mountain Lovers Club, but after his first year he changed to Science club. He wishes he had enough time to do both.

Vil and his dad are SUPER close, a lot like Deuce and his mom or even Silver and Lilia to be honest. They talk almost every night, and both would kill for the other.

Rook has a big family, and kinda hates it. He loves his family as individuals, but everyone is highly competitive, and tend to have their masks on when in groups. He is closest with his elder sister Queenie.

When Vil was a kid, he would get stress migraines, so now he’s fairly strong about self care (especially after VDC, he realizes he kinda slipped then)

Rook loves photography because nature is always changing, and he wants to save every small moment. (Also his grandma probably was a big scrapbooker)

Vil’s dad fought hard to keep Vil out of the limelight until he was ten. Mainly cause Vil started to absolutely BEG to do movies like his dad.

Rook is secretly scared of the dark, but he always Carrie’s his bow and arrows so he feels prepared atleast

Vil used to have super long hair, like Jamil length, but it got caught during potions and he sobbed having to cut it short.

Rook also had long hair but viewed cutting it as a fresh start. He’s been trying ti keep up with its care since then and is quite proud of it now!

I HAD WITTEN SUCH A LONF RESPONSE FUCK YOOU TUMBKR BUR ANYWYAS BACK TO WORK

YES ABSOLUTELY i think he'd really like to have a couple of birds since he finds it cruel to have just one lonely bird but alas...no time

THIS THIS THIS idc what anyone has to say deers are rook's fav animals PERIOD

TOUFFH rook always noticing vil's hesitancy and taking him to heartslabyul so they can have a tea party with vil cater and trey :(((((((

THIS KE I LOVE IT KNOW IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IN TIMELINE WAY BUT YASDJURUURF

this is one is canon actually>:D he's ALWAYS smiling talking about his dad it's the sweetest thing😿

THIS HURTS SO MUCH PLEASE SOTP IN GONNA EDPLODE but aigu....rook going to his older sister's bedroom late at night...her answering him with a comforting smile and hugging him....she lets him stay the night because even though rook is grown she can't bear to see her little brother sad, especially knowing his issues

THIS THIS RHIS ALSO UM GUYS VIL WITH MIGRAINE GLASSES...

THIS JS SO REAL THIS IS CANON I LOVE THE HIM HES SO TALENTED AT IT TOO I HAVE A WHOLE ASS AU WHERE ROOK TURNS INOT AN ANONYMOUS FAMOUS PHOTOGRAPHER SND ARTIST TBSMKWKS

THIS AUGH THISJSJEJDJE he worked so hard and even then couldn't protect him :( he feels terrible but vil would never blame him and is constantly reassuring him , especially when vil tells him he overblotted

THIS IS SO CUTE😭😭 AND IT MAKES SO KUCH SWNSE BECAUSE HE'S SCARED OF BEING VULNERABLE SFUUGUF... imagine the lights going out suddenly and rook is just startled but you take his hands and squeezes them softly, gently coaxing him into laying back down again...

YES THIS HTTIDUDUDUDUD

AND THIS ONE FOO THOSE ARE CANONNNNN I NEED TO SEE TJEM IN THEIR FIRSY YEARRRRRRR AND THIS NEEDS TO BE IT

SEEINF SUCH A LONF AK MADE ME SO HAPPY THSNK YOUUU

[mittysins]

omg i'd love to hear more about hamish! just like... info dump pls hehe :)c

GAH OKAY so I don't know how far back you want me to start. Because if you want to start from the VERY beginning we gotta go back to when he was in 6th grade. Which is a LOT of plot to fill in. And some of it is also kind of heavy and triggering (themes of transphobia, sh, things that are character relevant that I don't want to dwell too heavily on). If we want the abridged version,

Hamish is an absolute nerd and has been from the start. Loves retro games and animation, found the 4e Players Handbook in his local library when he was 6 and was obsessed ever since (Much to the pleasure of his aunt Mariah). You coulda picked him out as a gnc kid from a mile away, never really did the girl thing (much to the dismay of his parents). Because he was nerdy and eccentric and didn't really know how to talk to people he was picked on from an early age, by both his peers and his parents. He always kept his chin up, confidently walking through the halls like he didn’t give a shit what people said (He did).He was the type to sit alone until 6th grade, when he TRIED but was quickly interrupted by a girl rocking up with her DS shamelessly on full volume and offering her hard boiled eggs. He had forgotten his own lunch, so it's not like he was about to turn it down. They spend the lunch period together, trying to figure out the Mario level she was stuck on. From then on she always met him at that table, sure to pack extra hard boiled eggs to share with him. It took him like two months to admit that he never learned her name and had been calling her Eggs in his head the whole time. She decided she liked it.

From there Ham and Eggs keep pickin up friends. First there's Clementine, who earned his name when he chucked one full force at a class douchebag during theater rehearsal. He got suspended. He's kinda the Humble Rich Kid, the one with the super nice parents and the super nice house that always funds the PTA meetings. This dude is aggressively theater kid. Clementine and Basil come in a set. Nothing special there, Basil is literally just her name. Her family owns an art supply store, and if she’s working she’s usually on sales floor with her big brother Jonah. She and Eggs are the ones who have the idea to give everyone a Polaroid camera to document Ham’s pregnancy.

Then there’s Santiago, who they first met nervously shifting around as the GSA went around the circle introducing themselves in 8th grade. They’d all been there, so Santi was very quickly adopted by the rest of the group. He’d always been antisocial, so this was his first friend group. When he finally came out of his shell it was like everything fell into place and they were complete.

Until Junior year. And suddenly Santiago was gone. Just up and left with his family, seemed like. And not a word from him. It kind of fucked things up for a while and it took two or three months of taking time on their own to process. Ham’s mental health was at an ATL, and he felt guilty for feeling so bitter about it. Then he had the big blowout with his parents, a screaming match he wishes he could forget. An argument that ended with his mother crying with rage and his father telling him “I don’t care where you go, you can’t be here anymore.” That was all he needed to decide to walk an hour in the February cold to where his aunt Mariah lived. She’s only ten years older than him, so they grew up more like cousins than aunt and nephew. She’d give him the shirt off her back.

She’d call it a custody battle, but it’s not like Mariah had to fight. From then on, Hamish went no contact and instead lived with Mariah and worked at Wyvern’s Locket.

After a while everyone got together for the first time, and while it wasn’t the same again without Santi they managed to fall back into some sense of normalcy. And it was normal for a few years, until Hamish needed to ask Mariah to pick him up from his doctor’s appointment with referrals for prenatal care and a panic attack. The conversation with his friends was emotional. They were thrilled to learn that Hamish was seven weeks pregnant and not like. Dying. But it was still a lot and by the end of it everyone was just glad he was okay and ready to take it one step at a time together.

Three weeks after that Hamish and Santiago spot each other from across the bus stops.

[lastoneout]

long angry ad rant below feel free to ignore I haven't eaten today

My favorite thing about the advertising industry is that you can't even fucking protest it if you're a creator. Like I'm a twitch streamer, right? It's literally my job. I don't make anywhere near enough to live off of it but I'm disabled so I can't work and every couple of months Twitch throws $100 at me so yeah, it's my job.

And Twitch kinda sells itself on the concept that you can decide how you run your channel. You can choose when to run ads and what types, be they pre-roll or mid-roll or banner ads, and you can use the allure of ad-free viewing as a way to get people to subscribe. You can stream basically whatever for however long and control when your vods are saved and clips and your channel layout and all that. Freedom of choice, right?

Well here's the thing, you actually don't have a choice. At least when it comes to ads.

I hate ads with a burning passion. I get offers for sponsorships through streamelements pretty often and tbh I don't care for any of the products so I don't take them(bcs I have always had a personal policy that I will only take ads for products I actually like and I sure don't fucking like any of these). I have watched my viewers complain about mid-roll ads interrupting my stream right when I'm answering a question or when something interesting happens(and this has also happened to me on other channels and yeah it sucks). I have had my long time viewers complain about pre-roll ads, and several other streamers I look up to have confirmed that pre-roll ads tend to scare new viewers off and make them bail on raids. I've had people I know irl say they bail on raids bcs of pre-roll ads. Banner ads are the least intrusive but they still are annoying at get in the way, and ofc with all ads I have literally no say in what gets shown, which means I could unknowingly subject my viewers to triggering content and I REALLY hate that idea.

And, to top it all off, in the like almost two years I've been an affiliate I've made like...probably less than $15 on ads. They are such a miniscule portion of my revenue that it's laughable.

So, as running my twitch channel is basically like running a buisness for me, I decided the downsides to running ads FAR outweigh any upsides, and that I was far more likely to gain new viewers(and new subscribers) if I got rid of them.

You can't turn ads off. I can turn off mid-roll and banner ads, and if I run a mid-roll ad I get like...a ten minute grace period where no pre-rolls will be shown, but there is NO way to completely turn them off. (Plus Twitch has gone out of it's way to make ad blocker basically completely fucking useless on it's site like I have two and I'm on Firefox and I still get ads.)

And I've seen the argument that Twitch HAS to run ads on everyone's channels bcs that's how they make money, but if so it's kinda FUCKED that streamers get barely anything for them(and also that they run a solid 30 seconds to a minute of ads by default and you can't control that either). Apparently there's a 50/50 split but you have to run a bazillion ads to actually get anything for them. Plus Twitch also takes like 50% of our sub money ANYWAY so from where I'm standing it makes more sense to give channels the option to focus on subs over ads especially when we have PROOF that too many ads are scaring off potential subscribers.

(Plus Twitch is run by Amazon so it's not like they're broke and they were perfectly profitable back when they had WAY less ads so I don't buy the "we have to make money" argument on this one like I do on tumblr. And I'm not the only one complaining, lots of big name Twitch streamers have been talking about how it's bullshit that Twitch is pushing us all to run more and more ads instead of just letting us focus on subs. It hasn't always been this way.)

But nah, fuck us I guess.

And you might say "okay move to YouTube then" but YouTube requirements for monetization(not just ads, they lock superchats behind it too) are way harder to reach than Twitch's, and besides one thing that has ALWAYS pissed me off about YouTube is that when you go to channels that for sure don't qualify for monetization without ad blocker on, guess what! YouTube is running ads on the videos anyway!! I don't like that at all!!

The only way to completely get away from ads would be to ditch my affiliate status, which would mean I can't have custom emotes or subscribers or channel points, all of which are basically crucial for making your stream profitable, or to build my own fucking website from the ground up and pay for it myself which like, obviously I can't do that. (Or idk use tumblr live or tiktok but like...no.)

I mean tbh I hate ads so much at this point I'd fucking pay Twitch if it meant I could completely turn them off. Like here take the lost revenue it's clearly only like $2 a month anyway.

And I mean, I don't want to shame channels who do run ads, I get it, we all need to make money, but it's just SO fucking infuriating that there's basically no way to completely opt out of them. I don't want to make my viewers watch ads, I don't want anything on my channel that I wouldn't want to watch myself!! It's gotten to the point where I straight up encourage people to use ad blockers on my channel bcs I just don't want them to see ads, and tell them of they feel bad about it a single $2 donation is more than I'd make in ads all year so that's a better way to support me.

Anyway sorry for the long vent I've just been so pissed about this. And again not trying to shame any streamers who do run ads, I mean clearly we don't have a choice but also I get that people need the money more than I do, I just really fucking wish I could have a choice on this one.

[losyash]

Draft from 15th of June: How many chapters does MHA have left?

an old post I found in my drafts. did not finish it exactly but I figured it might be a fun read for someone. I tried to calculate it via anime seasons (laid down nicely) and manga volumes (did not lay down nicely at all but I forgot abt the last volume bonus content which is bound to be more than usually)

this was after ch 425 so I still had just a tiny bit of copium left in me

everything after the cut is text from the draft:

tldr: around ten maybe, maybe forty

one of our main measuring points there will be the anime coming out

as this wikipedia screenshot shows, season 7 is going to have 21 episode. we are one third through!

episode one starts with chapter 329 and ends with last pages of chapter 331. three chapters.

i decided not to check every single ep because that's long and annoying and instead grab all seven. if the amount of chapters serialised is consistent episode seven should end with chapter 349. which is exactly what happens!

so by extending this logic we can assume that episode 21 will contain chapters 389, 390 and 391 thus ending dabi's plotline in final war arc and bringing up the sad man parade. the main trick here is that chapter 391 is 9 pages long so exact details may vary but honestly i am willing to bet the season will end around there

but what then?

right now studio bones makes their anime seasons have either 25 eps (mha s7 is not an outlier if you count specials btw) or somewhere between 12-13. how many exactly? well

in last ten years there was one anime with 10 eps, 2 with 11, 9 with 13 and 18 with 12, however among those 18 two had specials released either during the airing period or just before it akin to s7 specials so it might be more correct to say that there are 10 animes with 13 episodes, 16 with 12 episodes and one with 14. debatable honestly

we will keep all three possibilities in mind

so, how many chapters is that? chapters 392-423 fit perfectly to give us 11 episodes

which means 1 more chapter for 12 episode (probably not)

4 more chapters for 13 episodes (most likely option out of three)

40 chapters for 25 episodes

"okay well what about manga volumes?"

GREAT QUESTION

we usually get 12 chapters per volume. the last released volume is vol. 40 which goes up to chapter 410 and includes it.

by the same logic volume 41 will contain chapters 411-422. but maybe actually 411-423 because come on that's just. one last chapter of final arc. it does not fit well here.

42 - 424-436

43 - 436-448

44 - 449-456

45 - 457-465??

math does not math well here to be honest. it DOES lower chances of getting like five chapters and be done significantly, but beyond that? debatable

what about the plot however? we still have several threads hanging:

lov state, surviving members, their fates

tomura dying and kurogiri's sacrifice. to be honest chapter 420 does not make me believe hori gives a single fuck about kuro and his plotline but what if??

mystery person

izuku's dad (horikoshi did say he wants to do something with him but as for ch 425 we still have nothing)

actually becoming the greatest hero. it did not happen yet. allmight can say whatever he wants really but izuku has not even graduated, i kinda doubt hori will just leave him in 2-a

ochako and shouto's plotlines in general. they don't feel finished yet and we know that at least with shouto there is definitely something coming up next chapter

a lot to cover. i would normally say four chapters definitely won't cut it but then again we DID have four pages to resolve the rooftop gang plotline. it's not the likely option but it's still an option for me now

horikoshi himself predicted he would end the manga in 2024 but he did the same thing about 2023 plus he could not have predicted the amount of breaks he is taking. still it does speak more in favor of having maybe 10 maybe 20 chapters rather than 40.

[harrison-abbott]

boxlike room

I had a girlfriend in high school, when I was sixteen. She left me for this other boy who was in the above year, after months of flirting with him. I only found out that they were dating one day after she sent me a message online, saying that she wasn’t keen on dating me anymore because “There was nothing to talk about’.

After that I was miserable for a few months. But I left high school at the end of that semester. So I didn’t have to see the old girlfriend.

When I was eighteen, my mother told me to get out of the house. Because she couldn’t stand me being around any longer. She told me to go to university, or get out. And, the next university inductee time was a year away, so I had to leave.

I went and stayed with my Uncle for a while. He was heavy into rugby, and stout, and he’d go fucking crazy if you woke him up at night. It made it worse that he had crazily sensitive hearing, so I did happen to wake him up quite a lot. But, whilst I was staying at his, I was also doing this FE college course to try and help me get to university. And I could walk to the campus from his flat. So things weren’t that bad.

And then, come the summer, I sat my exams. I really didn’t expect to get in to university, but I did. I looked at the Acceptance Letter that came through the post in amaze. My Uncle was drunk when I told him, and he said, “Well done, Laddy,” whilst watching the television screen filled with footballers. And, I didn’t feel like telling my mother about the news, because she’d made me homeless – and also hadn’t bother to keep in touch for about ten months.

I moved to another city to study at university. This new city was about a third of the size of my old one. And I was suddenly living in a tiny room which was nothing like what I’d experienced before. There were all of these young men and women who were partying and having sex. And I was kinda left on the periphery, in my boxlike room …

But, the library was a saviour. Because it was open all night, and, as a natural night owl, I could retreat there for long periods.

I read American fiction and Russian fiction, German and Spanish. And though I wasn’t a fast reading I felt my mind rise up. The books made me think and act differently and the magic of words seemed to mingle with my concentration and hold me in a different place, as if I was somebody else and not me.

In class, I was way too shy to speak up during class tutorials. Just didn’t have the ability to speak in front of a whole bunch of people: a thing which everybody else was comfortable doing.

That year ended and I passed it pretty well with my grades and I got into the second year. Trouble was, I didn’t have a place to stay over the summer, because the student halls shut down for three months during the break. I thought about calling my mother and asking her if I could come back for a little while. But I still didn’t really want to speak to her.

So I called up my Uncle instead. To ask if I could come stay at his place for eleven weeks or so. And I would chip in money, and so on, for the keep.

He told me that he hadn’t really enjoyed me staying there last time, and would rather keep his flat private from then on.

Not in those exact words but that was the jist of it.

So I stayed as long in my halls as I could before the tenancy expired, and after everybody else had moved out in the flat (it was really ghostly being there alone) and then I booked a B&B, which was the other end of town. It was quite expensive, and the man who ran it was a bit mean and grumpy. But, I had money. And I could still cycle from there to the library – which was still open late throughout the summer period.

At the library there was this girl who I’d see a lot on the first floor. She read a lot, too, and she had curly hair.

I often wondered what it would be like to go up and speak to her but I never had the verve to actually try it.

There were a few times when I came close. Because she often sat and read near the printers – the printing section – and I tended to print out bits and bobs quite a lot, so I would be physically near her. And she was sitting right there. Some of the books she was reading: I recognised them! I’d read them too, and knew the authors. And so I thought I could go up and say, “Hey, I’ve read that novel as well. You liking it?”

I saw her so many times and that curly hair was amazing. The desperation grew to the point where I vowed to go and say something to her next time she came into the library, even if I made a total fool of myself.

And so, I cycled over to the library, one summery evening, with a nice pink and blue sky. Thinking that there was a feeling about the night. And that I would see her. I’d already planned up the words to say to her.

I rode up to the library. And I parked my bike, and began to chain it to one of the bike bars. I heard something coming from the library’s revolving doors, and turned.

That was her! She was right there, walking towards me. The same pretty curly haired girl who I’d loved for weeks.

She was holding hands with this tall young man with slick black hair, and he was telling her a story and she was laughing. And I stared at this moving image for a few deadened seconds. And then turned back to my bike, whilst she and him passed behind my back and left. And I stood there with a mix of squalidity, gullibility and loathing in my chest. Rarely had I felt so black in quite some time.

I thought about cycling home again. But, instead, I went into the library. Reading books would help me out. Get me to concentrate on something else.