#and that one very reasonable fellow
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Confession #71
#rwby#confessed by anonymous#oscar pine#reaction to confession 62#reaction to confession 52#and that one very reasonable fellow#<- (sarcasm obviously)
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YAHOO!
I'm a little late to the trend, I'm blaming the start of Uni for that. Alberta/Calgary!Miku- Summer and Winter variants!
#hatsune miku#vocaloid#canada#alberta#my art#id in alt text#yes martin queue are my reason#worldwide miku#regional miku#The cowboy hat killed me#I have very mixed feelings about the place I come from but drawing this made me realize how unique it is at least :'>#Also There is ONE detail in this that I hope fellow cowtowners understand because it will make me laugh to see it in the tags
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Here is a drawing of one of my favourite changes in choreography in the Australian deh production :)
During Good For You, after Alana and Jared have their little solos, Alana comes to the front of the stage and crouches down with her hands over her head, completely still. At the same time, Jared goes upstage and paces back and forth very quickly - every time he has to turn around he makes stilted and frustrated gestures as if he doesn’t know what to do with himself. I was very excited by this, as it is so unlike the broadway version of this scene where they stand symmetrically on opposite sides of the stage. Instead, Alana and Jared’s reaction to their feelings are clearly contrasted against each other. It seemed so natural too; while they move in formation for a lot of gfy, here it was like they had to take a break from the song because of how overwhelmed they were! Which only made it easier to empathise with them. The whole song was spectacular of course but this particular decision I think was very successful. I have always been intrigued by the contrast between Alana and Jared and it was really brought to the forefront in this moment.
#dear evan hansen#my art#jared kleinman#alana beck#jacob rozario#carmel rodrigues#I lost my mind when this happened it was so perfect to me#another thing that hit me hard in gfy was during jared and evan’s fight#when they do the ‘I thought the only reason you talked to me was because of your car insurance’ ‘so??’ (always been a fav moment of mine)#obviously there are tonnes of ways to do the ‘so??’ but I was expecting the indignant and kinda sputtering lashing out ‘so’#instead jared totally shrunk in on himself grabbed onto his bag strap in his hands and said it so softly#and he was really up in evan’s personal space earlier so here it was like oh wow that really struck him#like for another one of my favourite lines (‘heyy so my parents are out of town this weekend-’) he did a little bouncy dance up to evan and#-touched him as he spoke - including booping his nose. he said out loud ‘we. can. drink- boop! whatever we want!’#very silly#anyway just a few fun moments that my fellow jared enjoyers may be happy to hear about#also carmel’s alana was Far on the overwhelmingly high energy / bouncy / big facial expressions side of the alana scale - which I Love#and jacob was a more drawling / condescending jared - less frantic and more subtle in his amusement/indignation#I loved it - I think there are so many ways to play these characters that offers a slightly different insight into their internal state#god I have so many things to say about this showww
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Ppl saying the bad kids attacking the ratgrinders with as much vitriol and anger as they are doesn't make sense and like... One, have you met teenagers but also there is literal rage in the air and the ground and a god of rage is coming through the ground like... Idk if this is intentional on the intrepid heroes part (they're certainly clever enough roleplayers for it to be) but it absolutely makes sense for the literal rage particles in the air to affect them, as we've been seeing it affect people all throughout the season
#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#dimension 20#plus we've seen them be capable of being very angry and violent in the past it's not a surprise they have it in them#and the thought that they should be kinder to their fellow teenagers?#that's not how most teens think in my experience. especially not traumatized super stressed ones#anyway i can absolutely see the ih who are very experienced and capable storytellers#pick up on Brennan's theme of ''hey there's rage literally in the air and there's no reason you'd be immune to it''#and play their characters accordingly#weren't murph and lou both 1 away from a rage token? yeah of course fabian wants to very violently murder ivy#of course riz wants to cut oisins head off#oh and fig got 60 points of psychic damage screamed into her mind#of course she wants to violently throw the guy who did that to her (and her friends!) to hell#and do some psychic damage back while she's at it#feel like ppl forget that to the characters the damage they take isn't just numbers
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Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Harvey Dent#ZEX#Blood#Ask to tag#Stepping back even further - I'm sure you can understand needing a little extra time on this#For multiple reasons haha#It took such a while to finish the first one and not just on an editing front! Honestly that didn't take very long at all haha#There's a frame somewhere that's bothering me - I ''animated'' that movement frame-by-frame myself so if it's a bit strange it's my eye#At least it's mostly like what I wanted! Mostly like what I saw in my head! The three overlapping and then drawing back to show the depth#It really was such a strong mental image for me - it's amazing how simultaneous things can be despite being described separately#The dog - Harvey - ZEX - all moving at their own pace! A split second can be so expanded like a slow-mo shot ah#It's honestly a very beautiful medium#Hhhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I so very much wanted him to go out the way he wanted to#Befitting his Admiral status - strong and confident and surrounded by his crew#But by that point he was so tired and ready to rest - it would have been sadder to watch him continue to barely scrape by#Not even killed by his Beauty! Just one good chomp from one big sick dog :'0#The others trying to protect him - they didn't know him just out of whatever empathy they had for their fellow!#Zero was a hero so that kind of character is easy enough haha but even Harvey! Even after ZEX made him uncomfortable with his long looks lol#He was still willing to help in whatever way he was able ;; And it still ended the same#His last word being just ''pain'' hhhwehhh ;;#It is always the saddest-saddest to me to have such an articulate and eloquent witty verbose and silly character reduced to singulars#Something so simple and still so expressive hh </3 ZEX dearest hweh#But loving also means letting go! Death was a release he needed even if it's sad#I'm a real sucker for Meet Me In The Afterlife kind of stories so I may or may not have batted that around as an idea down the line#He has plenty of loved ones that have seen the other side - even from the Institute specifically!!#It's not exactly a happy ending but it's something <3
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was chopping potatoes for dinner last night when i had the realization that it was extremely inevitable i would become an adar and galadriel enjoyer during season 2 of rings of power considering the number of books i like enough to have a permanent spot in my brain which contain the romance dynamic of "we are fundamentally opposed enemies who deeply distrust each other but we must set aside our differences to unite against a common enemy, develop a grudging respect for each other, and then fall in love." i am predictable in my tastes but at least i know myself!
#me discovering yet another pattern of what characters and dynamics i enjoy: ah. there's another one#the fact that i was chopping potatoes is irrelevant it's just what i was doing at the time#pie says stuff#rings of power#trop#adar#galadriel#adariel#wait hang on i want to see if i can list the books/characters#let's see…#innisth and kehera from winter of ice and iron by rachel neumeier#(who did not just exchange a magic ring but also fully got married for magical alliance reasons)#both of the couples from the wilderwood duology by hannah whitten but ESPECIALLY solmir and neve#since he's literally the villain of the first book#sierra and rasten from children of the black sun are i think on their way there but i have to read the sequels#marian and guy from sherwood by meagan spooner aka my favorite robin hood book#also i'm still in the middle of reading it but definitely farrin and ryder from a song of ash and moonlight by claire legrand#anyway. this was very funny realization. fellow adariel enjoyers you would probably also like those books
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alright there is this Italian series, I'm currently watching, called "Un professore" ("a teacher"), in absolutely no way it is related to dead poets society, EXCEPT for the fact that there is this teacher, not a normal teacher, if you catch what I mean, that is trying to let escape his students out of their shells. for example: there was this boy, who cannot leave his room, because he was afraid of the world outside, even if he knew that his life sucked. in one way or another the teacher succeeded to let him leave is comfort zone.
but the thing I want to talk about is the dynamic (which is very complicated, I'm not going to explain the details about it) between him and one of his student, which is also his son, Simone.
the teacher always try to talk to his son, even if Simone hates him because of his past, through his lessons.
Simone is a boy who step by step is figuring out to be in love with his male best friend, and is trying to accept the fact that he has no chances with him.
his father (the teacher), discovered this, and for let him know that he accept him, and it's okay to explore sexuality, he did this alternative lesson, in which the students had to walk, however they wanted to, in the empty gymnasium of the school, for making them realize the power and the dangerousness of conformity, by quoting michel foucault, a gay philosopher of the 50s.
and now you might think "gio, well, this is basically what keating did-" EXACTLY, that is the point, they're basically saying that neil and todd, were killed by conformism, as much as Simone was being killed. and that the society in that time couldn't accept someone like them, so they had to find their own voices, and scream as loud as they can, without being afraid of who they are.
#there is all another lesson about bravery#and many more about other important topics#but this is not the day to talk about it#at the end of the lesson also he made the students walk in circle#to show them what conformism actually was#and Manuel (the boy Simone like) walked the other way#KWHFKAHF#I know this is so random but I really wanted to talk about this#this series is so special to me for some reason#I needed to talk about it#also the teacher one time said a very poetic thing#and the one who he was talking to said “this is platone”#and he said “no actually I said that ;)”#IWJDIAJDISJFB THAT IS SO KEATING#italian fellows aggiungete cose se volete#I still haven't finished tho so#dead poets society#dps fandom#dead poets headcanons#neil perry#todd anderson#anderperry#un professore
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Idk if i should continue replaying my mercar to romance neve (they romanced lucanis the first time around) or if it's better to make another rook for her that will save minrathous :/
#thing is. i liked failing minrathous as mercar for angst reasons and would love to keep that choice for them#because it feeds their personal issues and traumas and i love having more drama#it just hit so right walking out of the ruined shadow dragons' lair as mercar for the first time#and seeing fellow sds lynched in front of it#chef's kiss. was one of the best moments in the game for me personally#and i do like my mercar and neve having tension over it that they overcome later on. however... it's just annoying to play in-game because#everyone in the game keeps coddling neve over minrathous while completely ignoring me. as if I don't deserve any sympathy#also I don't want to be locked out of some quests/scenes/flirt options with neve due to failed minrathous when romancing her#because there's very little romance content in the game as is so maybe rolling another rook for her will be better...#or romancing her with my thorne instead? maybe i should rethink my thorne too? aaaaaa#vik.txt#datv spoilers#<- just in case
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Errant PM update of the day:
yesterday she met with a client and got revisions for their site that needed to be done for today since the client has to use this new stuff in another meeting
she did them herself instead of assigning them to the proper team (something that sounds nice but is actually a huge problem bc she spends too much time doing other people's work instead of her own, and also she's not very good at it.)
she did not communicate this with anyone. also did not immediately email the client and inform them she has done their work.
my boss, who is also involved with that account since Errant was fucking it up majorly, decides to email them, receives a reply saying "when will our revisions be done" and starts panicking after hearing the team doesn't know about them
(classic Errant move is to get a task and not assign it, so he thought it was rotting in her inbox)
Errant decides this is a great time to not reply to anyone on skype for several hours
Errant finally gets a hold of the boss, explains everything, but by now it's been so long he's royally pissed and gives her a lecture about communicating
She then complains to Lead Dev (who she thinks is her friend but actually files the most complaints to HR Boss about her lmao) about how he isn't praising her for doing WORK THAT IS NOT HER JOB ~just because~ she didn't communicate with him quickly or email the client, and how he's such a micromanager (extremely false, he's a pain sometimes but overall fairly chill) and overreacted horribly because uuggghhh why is any of this his business like she did the stuff right who caaaaares? not like he had to sideline her on this account for several weeks because she spent Literally One Hundred Hours bullying the designer (until she cried) and making her redo things for no reason, and then refused to assign the site for 3 weeks (until there was only THREE DAYS left before the due date) because she wanted specifically Lead Dev to do it (again, she thinks he's her buddy), while the client grew increasingly frustrated with the delays! noooo, it's not like she's lost the right to keep this client to herself at all!! not like over the past few months she's managed many accounts so badly they've put her on probation!
Lead Dev cannot find a way to explain to her that she's living in a really bizarre alternate dimension and like, of course everyone is upset geez, so he's just trying to ignore her. she then decided to start sending him a bunch of ig posts about bad management which he thinks is funny, because there's only one bad manager here and it ain't our boss.
#i swear if we lose wfh privileges because SHE did not answer the boss's messages for hours....#shes always mad that the boss 'interferes' with her clients and it's like girl...#if you didn't piss off both the client and your fellow team members to the point where they got the bosses involved...#if you just did your job properly...#he WOULDN'T be in your space bc he wouldn't HAVE to be#she used to complain that this was sexism but then we hired a new PM whos female and she of course does her job right so the bosses#don't 'interfere' with her and even give her special projects sometimes#so now errant just hates her and calls her an alpha bitch to lead dev....so Errant's the one whos sexist really#she does have a very weird idea of what workplace sexism is. like yesterday she was mad cause our Christmas card design...#a bunch of minimalist illustrated hands holding Christmas ornaments.... doesn't have any hands with painted nails#so none of them are 'female'. this card is literally so unisex. 3 people instantly said they thought different hands were female#THEY ARE JUST LITTLE CARTOON HANDS HOLDING STARS GEEZ#but then she has beef with every woman in the office because we're all alpha bitches or we don't bow and scrape to her or we don't like#use enough exclamations or emojis in skype....#anyway sometimes Lead Dev and i try to unravel the layers of her lies and evasion tactics and we give up.#she is as the children say totally delulu#and like. listen this is a male dominated workspace. there are Sexism Microaggressions for sure#i would still love yo sit my boss at gunpoint and make him explain why he suddenly started telling everyone i didn't know jquery#for a few weeks last year until i corrected him (at the time he said 'oh i didn't realize you all knew that' IT WAS IN THE JOB POSTING!)#cause like. the real reason is i asked for help with some jquery once and therefore i must not know ANY....#ANYWAY. like its a male dominated business. there's going to be bullshit. its just that she fabricates her own bizarre bullshit#or uses sexism as an excuse to herself for why shes always in trouble...so you can't like. TALK to her about it#its so annoying#SORRY FOR THE MULTIPLE RANTS I WAS TRYING SO HARD TO NOT RANT BUT THE RANT MUST BE RANTED
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idk what ramadan is gonna look like for me this year lol
#z.gen#i try to be more on my deen and i will do it this year#like hitting all of my prayers when i normally hit like 3/5 etc#no substances which fluctuates yearly since being calisober is what got me off other drugs but should be fine this yr#a lot of people wont listen to music either but i honestly dont listen to it much during the day regardless#having a very night time schedule is helpful during ramadan#i think im gonna try and focus on establishing all of my prayers#i dont really care to talk about my faith much cause its so genuinely no ones business#but i am muslim i just dont follow the practices of any of the four major sunni schools strongly for other reasons#im not shia either tho... looking#none of it matters rn cause i cant fast anyway LOL but its okay#its just like. kind of hard to celebrate islam with whats going on in palestine#like a lot of my fellow muslims get really obsessed w the aesthetics#but the month is about refraining from worldly desires and practing restraint and is generally anti consumerism#so its like. idk if i care for fun silly ramadan recipes. im gonna try to organize stuff with my mosque again inshallah
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things that make me wanna do beautiful conceptual illustrations of melliwyk's party's bard's dad
#KADE HEARTWOOD THE MAN THAT YOU ARE.... OOOOUUGGHH#also: thing that makes me realize that kade being Like That was possibly not a coincidence and reaffirms how cool our DM is#my biggest regret in mel's campaign is not dancing with kade during the fancy ball infiltration session and getting to talk to him#because 1) only quinton knew that was his dad and was not on good terms with him-- in-character mel didn't know who he was#and 2) both melliwyk and I in real life got too caught up in 'oh I know EXACTLY which of these people is our mysterious contact'#'haHAA I have Solved Your Puzzle I don't NEED to talk to quinton's dad cause I already know it's not him :D'#[me rattling the bars to my own past] noooo jaaay that's why you talk to EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ROOM FIRST! JAAAY!! LIKE VIDEO GAMES!!! JAAAA#and then later quinton accidentally got him banished back to the afterlife (where he was supposed to have been the whole time)#before we got a chance to MEET HIM AND TALK TO HIM once we KNEW MORE OF HIS SECRETS RAAAAGGGHHH#.... tl;dr kade had been a champion of the raven queen thousands of years ago and we found his dead body sealed in a hidden vault#the kade who fathered quinton was breaking the rules to send his soul out into the world as a living thing (for Reasons)#the risk of which was that his body was Pure Soul-- if he'd died like that it would have destroyed his soul permanently#ANYWAY THIS IS VERY FUNNY TO ME BECAUSE I'M MAKING MYSELF CRY IMAGINING THE ART I WANNA MAKE ABOUT KADE#BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT ACTUAL PC QUINTON AT ALL AND FRANKLY HE OFTEN PISSES ME OFF LMAO#melliwyk's DM is one of my favorite DMs and also fellow players because he's Really Fucking Good At This ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#about me
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one thing about me is i never live in the present, i am always worried about things way ahead of time
#so i need to do about 6 hours of volunteering for my health class this semester#it isn't a lot it's easy peasy and also yay volunteering is fun#but the thing is since i am also working i need to find like. events that don't clash with work days and all right#anyway i found one next month that sounds perfect and all but XDD HELP!!! they allowed me to participate. the lady replying to my emails#is very kind but. erm. it seems the event was originally for kid/teen volunteers so i will be a grown ass person probably working with kids#which is fine but also embarrassing for no reason#ya les conte de la unica vez que me castigaron en el colegio no por malas notas ni por portarme mal. si no porque llegaba tarde demasiado#seguido. entonces de castigo me tuvieron un dia entero de asistente con niños de preescolar. me senti todo how do you do fellow kids 😭#well whatever. anything for a good grade amirite 😅
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Thinks abt my lob corp nuggets oh so hard. I may only have second hand half remembered knowledge of project moon worldbuilding but I will still forever obsess over my lil guys who suck absolute ass
#rat rambles#oc posting#I <3 women who are just straight up bad people#this is mostly abt my girl yuri but its also abt my girl juliet#yuri is well. she's certainly smth.#she's very fascinated in psychology and in particular the psychology behind abnormalities#and it is for this reason that shes in disciplinary#for most of her life one of the things that had facinated her most is the mind'd reaction to pain and suffering#so she finds suppressing abnormalities to be very fun and interesting#her girlfriend maxy certainly has an interesting perspective on this aspect of yuri to but it kindly#maxy has a lot of self loathing mostly relating to how numb shes become to everything and how unatural it is for her to care abt stuff#so she sees yuri as a far better person than she is because she still manages to care and be passionate abt things#she deeply admires and loves yuri and feels like she doesnt deserve yuri's affection#maxy is also the only person that I say yuri genuinely cares abt on a personal level#most of the time even ppl yuri rly likes arent safe from her morbid curiosity but she genuinely cares abt maxy's wellbeing#now juliet is generally a lot less extreme than yuri but shes still not great#juliet and her bestie loki both are genuinely very invested in the cause and goals of lob corp which is the first red flag#but juliet is the more noteworthy of the two actions wise because she actually interacts with fellow employees#she was among the first employees here and while she comes off as friendly and nice she takes her job incredibly seriously and doesn't fuck#around when it comes to productivity levels#she generally respects malkuth a lot more than any of the other robots and actively dislikes most of the others#most newbies tend to like her because of her being one of the few higher ranking employees thats friendly and welcoming but most that make#it longer term tend to realize quick that she doesn't care abt any of them#but whats often worse than her not caring abt you is her seeing potential in you#if she sees potential in someone she will make it very clear and do everything in her power to help them realize that potential#one of my other higher ranking guys mason very much hates juliet because of that exact situation#mason rly didnt know what she was getting into when she got hired at lob corp and mostly worked with the much softer abnos for her first#while at the job until she was thrown into the deep end to work on censored#most of the other higher level employees at the time wouldnt be able to make it through a work session with censored but she was#barely. but it was enough that juliet took notice of her and decided that maybe this guy was worth keeping around afterall
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daily "i wanna get back into cosplay but i'm gonna look so bad and no one will recognize who i'm supposed to be and it's gonna fit all awkward so what's the point" time
#like excuse me for the internalized fatphobia i'm gonna deliver here#but. as nice as it is to see ppl say anyone can cosplay#if you're fat you WILL be treated differently. both in cons and online#unless your cosplay is 100% perfect and accurate and sits perfectly on you. and the character is already not too skinny#speaking from my own experience and from seeing fellow fat cosplayers in the past#bestie said we can do casual cosplay aka characters in regular clothes that they might wear#but it is. very detached from reality. this isn't really smth i can do and actually call cosplay. it's just putting on a wig#which skinny ppl can get away with but not us#i was in casts where i put a lot of effort into my costume and pics etc and barely anyone recognized it#while others in the cast did this casual cosplay sort of thing and ppl still got them. bc well they're shaped like the character ig#it's very disheartening and one of the reasons i stopped doing it really#i loved doing it but after having other bad experiences in events too it felt like the price and time aren't justified#and it always felt pointless to put in more effort when ik i won't look good in it anyway#or at least. won't look anything like the character no matter how hard i try 🥲#but now that i'm into smth with cool designs that makes me wanna get back into it#and now that i actually started planning stuff and checked prices etc#i'm once again sad abt it. which is why i'm having second thoughts. bc is it worth it#i dunno. sorry for the ramble. hope the generalization isn't hurtful i'm just giving my own view and feelings on the matter#if you're a fat cosplayer i hope no one is ever mean to you about it ever and i hope you keep doing it
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youtube
#music#we were talking about like. dance/club anthems for each of the boys and this is the one i ended up picking for alun#i think the most obvious being the feeling of being trapped by things which he knows he should love at detriment to himself#there's a lot to be said about his views on his various relationships especially as they pertain to patron(s) and his fellow princes#and how he maybe understands that there is something deeply unhealthy about the value he puts in things that do not seem to value him#riesling has been a strong advocate of him re examining these very relationships but... well. maybe someday. who knows#i also love that both of the vocalists are transgender which alun is not but yknow we've been talking a bit about gender stuff#the beautiful nomi ruiz and anonhi! the latter of whom i believe officially transitioned a while after this song released#the jessica 6 logo being that highly feminized spider figure is also funny to me#because alun is a distillation of a much older oc cuideag#whose name means spider and has always been spider coded in their various incarnations sometimes literally#there are a few other contenders that i will probably slap on here if i haven't already...#dj alun's club mix tape#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk#also also i love the thought of earth ending alun taking a liking to disco and nu disco for some reason#medieval ass d&d ass man hears a funky bassline for the first time and loses his mind a little
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i've been digging thru old backed up writing and found some scrapped lore i never finished but still kinda like so i'm gonna do the impossible
tidy it up and finish it
#the one i'm working on is the original form of 'on a wander'#which was originally going to be when amos was a bit younger than he ended up being in the final story and involve haj as well#but i ended up turning it into on a wander instead for. i don't remember why. magdaw reasons one assumes#not that anyone could ever tell bc this story is as yet unposted but on a wander refers to things from its earlier iteration#so now i am finishing that earlier iteration up i'm like i'll just. make this be the followup to on a wander instead#it's fun having to retrofit the ideas that started in this draft and ended up seeing the light of day in on a wander#ouroboros ass story#i also have to go reread on a wander to [checks notes] ensure consistency across body horror. solemn nod#i really love amos. i have to write more stuff about amos. he's a good boy#i have some vague ideas about him journeying all the way to the plateau and seeing the cloudsong. my original plan w/amos was that#he basically has very high luck and wanderlust as a survival adaptation. he goes places#meets everyone. has a good time bc very lucky. and learns leagues more stuff than he would in a normal lifetime#so originally i wanted to just do stories about him traveling the wasteland and ultimately various regions of the world just.#vibin and hangin out with fellow freaks. ah well. one thing at a time
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