#and that no one else sees them and your struggles bc of those problems

[stellacadente]

anyway had a meeting with one of my coordinators at work today (we're all doing kinda like a check-in with them to see how we're doing and stuff) and she told me i'm the best at my job and that they're gonna give me some different tasks and things to do and that i already do even too much (after my "i feel like i don't do enough" 😭) and to try not to worry too much bc i'm doing everything i can and the rest isn't in my control and they don't expect more from me. and she told me they're there for me whenever i need it especially bc they know i've been going through a difficult time :((

[sminiac]

Piwon after an argument 👉🏾👈🏾 -Kyokopi

💌 — I’m sure it’s just bc I started my period but I’ve been so fucking sad lmao, thought now would be a good time to write a lil angst HEHE

⋆ Y. Keeho

Gen overview — He moves around your space very cautiously, slow in a way, like he’s scared of his presence being fully perceived. I feel it’s one of the very few times he isn’t tackling the problem when both of your wounds are so fresh in fear of further irritating them due to his eagerness that could come off as pushy or bitter. Forces himself to endure the silence, the lack of acknowledging each other’s presence even in close proximity, it hurts but he knows everyone processes things differently, including the timeframe of how long that’ll take.

Reconnecting — Truthfully, normally it doesn’t take very long before either of you come back with a “I’m sorry” at the ready, it’s never a you or him situation, in fact a lot of the time it doesn’t matter, the most essential part is communicating, which also consists of a lot of tears- but there’s something so sweet about being able to let go like that with someone else, sharing another one of your most vulnerable moments with each other, gaining an understanding of how his brain works in a way no one else can.

Remainder of members under the cut!

⋆ C. Taeyang

Gen overview — Forces himself to apologize first because he knows if he doesn’t, it’ll just never come. Puts his struggles to the side for you but that doesn’t mean it’s easy, he goes through with it though, and although the process is sore and sometimes difficult the outcome is always worth it. He’s good with noting his own faults and the crowding of his ego that he has to overcome, it’s just the daunting task of reconciling, what if it isn’t so easy? What if you won’t accept his explanation? Would another disagreement arise? Learns that a simple ‘I’m sorry’ with a genuine sense of humility is worth a lot more than he thought it would have.

Reconnecting — This is where Theo’s feelings really show, fighting can be exhausting, and you can tell by the look on his face- even his body language, that he’s really drained and sad now that there’s no other emotions left to cloud over. The most he asks is just allow him to be by your side. Showers or baths together are usually taken after. You don’t need to shower him in gifts or written letters conveying your regret, but you can wash his hair for him, massage his arms and back the way he likes while he hugs you under the comforting stream of hot water.

⋆ C. Jiung

Gen overview — The quickest to feeling irritated if he deems your behaviour as ‘excessive’, but don’t let that intimidate you, he gradually comes to his senses, just give it a minute or two for the bad feelings to settle down. Opposed to Keeho, Jiung isn’t so quick to feel the need to apologize or talk it out, he puts himself at quite the distance, buries his head in work to keep him distracted from the guilt, or the fear of having over done it this time. Coming back to each other is always the most fragile part, the culmination of all the hurtful moments make for quite the emotional reconnection. Apologies are always mutual, you dissect things with each other.

Reconnecting — Jiung’s typically more on the serious side, but after seeing you so upset it’s like a need to allow his silly side to slip. Puts away any distractions and focuses all of his attention on you! Do you wanna go get a drink? He doesn’t want you dehydrated after all those tears. Crying makes you tired, do you want to take a nap? Crying makes you hungry, do you want to go grab some food? He’ll pay, anything you want. Crying makes your nose stuffy, what about a walk outside?

⋆ H. Intak

Gen overview — Feels his emotions very deeply, they almost overtake his entire being, when he’s frustrated there’s not really a filter there to keep his mouth from running away which splits the two of you off, if you’re reactive he’s like gasoline to your fire. It doesn’t happen often, arguing or the spitefulness, he’s normally good with managing his emotions in a healthy way, so he’s extremely regretful when it gets out of hand and the both of you are upset with the other. Exudes penitence to the fullest extent when he’s coming to you with a tearful apology, holds you, just wants to hold you. The feeling of someone crying while being close to them always makes me emotional, it’s just such a deep, inexplicable connection, and that’s exactly how it is with him.

Reconnecting — Very physical and vocal after you’ve both settled. Intak will remain as close to you as possible without actually touching you, scared that his clinginess will be too much until you’re the one initiating it, and every few minutes he’ll try talk to you about anything that interests you, because if you’re talking then surely you’re okay. He’s so puppy, asking: “That new bubble tea place you’ve been talking about is opened, do you want to go soon?” “What happened to that shirt you’ve been looking for? Did you find it? Should we go get you a new one instead?” “We should go to an aquarium, you can dress all pretty so I can take pictures.”

⋆ H. Shota

Gen overview — Learning how to be supportive and respectful of each other’s functions is definitely a process, but it makes you all the more closer with Soul. Not being familiar with these intricacies prior to your arrival in his life means that he does struggle with admitting his own feelings. Soul tends to catch the wavelength of your discontent quickly and immediately molds himself to fulfill whatever your needs are, in doing so he unintentionally disregards his own. He’s at your every word, but he also needs someone who will be there for him just as willingly. Apologizing is easy, he’s quick to admit his mistakes and really takes the time to understand you even if he didn’t to begin with, but he is a little hesitant when asking something of you, all he needs is a little encouragement and reassurance that he deserves just the same treatment.

Reconnecting — Things transition back to normal very smoothly, the both of you silently agree to do your best to end the day off on a good note, which doesn’t take a lot, and by the time you’re in each others arms on the verge of falling asleep it’s like nothing ever happened. Soul’s just very.. you can never outright tell what he’s thinking or what he’s about to do, so even as you’re talking it out in the end, your argument is settled once he says or does something silly because once the both of you are laughing there’s no way the seriousness of the situation could be dragged on for any longer. He’ll kiss you with a big pretty smile, adding on a final “I’m sorry stinky”.

⋆ K. Jongseob

Gen overview — He hates nothing more than the tense atmosphere that post arguments have, and the thing that gets to him the most is not being able to approach you like nothing happened. He knows your feelings are hurt. His are too, but god does he ever miss feeling you curled into him, giggling with each other about stupid things no one else would understand. The silence and ignoring each other only ever lingers for so long, usually he breaks it by pulling you into him when you least expect it, quickly subjecting you to his kisses and a near constant reiteration of how sorry he is for being mean. He snaps out of things quite fast, because he can’t bear the thought of your day going sour because of him, so he does his best to make up for it.

Reconnecting — Immediately tells you how silly he thinks it is to be so upset like this in an attempt to wipe away any negative feelings that were left behind, because he wants to be with you until not even the existence of your souls can live on, why dwell on something so trivial? Why feed into it any more than you have to? Seob likes keeping you busy after, is it odd that he suddenly wants to build things together in your Minecraft world? Maybe a little, but it’s hard to say no when he’s suggesting you make a day out of it with snacks and cuddling included.

ᰔ sminiac’s P1Harmony M.list

Update, after listening to my Laufey playlist and writing Seob’s ‘reconnecting’ bit I’m not as sad, just hungry.

ANOTHER UPDATE I ATE AND NOW I FEEL NAUSEOUS ???? I CANNOT WIN.

[greg-montgomery]

hiii first of all let me say i am ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE with your blog and that everything you post is amazing <333

.....and since your requests are open, let me give you the receipt to kill me 😈 (or to make my day, it depends)

so that would be a scenario involving hotch x reader + reader ovulating (or in the days before cycle when the hormones are all 🥴🦋🥰🤭🤤) + him being condescending in bed

my brain is fixated on this and I was waiting to request this to someone

⚠️ i am a consent-queen anon and i invite you to write this only if you can/feel like it/have the time to. If not, delete the ask bc i don't wanna make you uncomfortable, you're so sweet in your interactions <3

hiiii <3 you're so sweet!!! i'm super late to this, but i hope you're still around and get to read this and enjoy it <33 ilysm!

minors dni - 18+

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Those damn profilers….and you had to be the one to be dating one of the best of them. It was impossible to hide from Aaron.

It wasn’t common for you, wanting to hide things from him. He was the one who you trusted more than anyone else in your life. But sometimes, you felt…embarrassed of things.

Like that evening, you wanted to have sex with Aaron, but didn’t want to be the one who initiated it again. You were the one who was all over him the night before and that morning. It felt almost humiliating having to ask for sex again.

But you weren’t at fault. Aaron had just come home from work and he was so tired, he didn’t follow his usual routine of taking his suit off and running into the shower. That was the reason you felt guilty for wanting to disturb his resting time. But that was also the reason you wanted him so bad; his suit, his untied tie, the sweat on his forehead. And maybe also the fact that your little period calendar app had reminded you yesterday that you were ovulating.

Still, no matter how much you were trying to conceal your sudden and very much desperate desire for your boyfriend, he was clearly onto you.

“Why are you staring at me, honey?” he asked, not bothering to lift his head to look at you. His eyes were glued on the screen of his phone, going through his emails.

“Just missed you, that’s all.”

“I missed you too, baby.” His deep voice calling you ‘baby’ only worsened your problem. Maybe you just had to get some alone time and take care of it.

“Um…I’m gonna go take a shower, okay?” you said.

“Now?”

“Yeah. Did you wanna go first?”

He finally lifted his gaze from his phone and looked at you with a smirk. “Are you really that desperate?”

“What?”

Aaron threw his phone on the cushion next to him and spread his legs wider. “On my lap.”

As if you were under a spell, you got up without even thinking it, walked towards the couch, and straddled Aaron’s lap.

You were so turned on that even that light touch of your body meeting his sent sparkles to your clit.

His large hands went straight to your exposed thighs, rubbing them up and down.

“My princess,” he said leaving a small kiss on your lips. “Haven’t I told you that I want you to always ask me for what you need?”

“I don’t…”

“Don’t lie to me. I can tell you’re struggling,” he said with a soft laugh. And with a tone that suggested that you were pathetic he added, “You’re horny, aren’t you?”

“Aaron,” you whined, and hit him playfully on the arm.

“Aren’t you?” he repeated.

You were too embarrassed to reply with words so you just nodded your head.

“See? I can always tell what’s going on in that pretty head of yours,” he said, his hand cupping the side of your face, “so you may as well just ask for what you want. It’ll save us both time.”

“You’re being mean,” you said.

“Am I still going to be mean if I get you off?”

Embarrassed or not, his words made your eyes sparkle.

“That’s what I thought. Now take off your clothes,” he ordered.

As you were getting undressed, Aaron unzipped his pants and took his cock out. When you got to the part of taking off your underwear he started stroking himself slowly, not taking his eyes off you for a moment.

You were almost drooling watching him still all dressed up touching himself, and the ache between your legs was getting unbearable.

“Come back here,” he said, once you were fully nude.

His thumb started touching your clit, circling it in a slow pace that made your knees already tremble. “Aaron…”

“Do you like it?”

“Mhm…” you said biting your lip.

“You can be louder, sweetheart. No one’s home but us,” he said and slipped his middle finger in you.

“Ah…”

Aaron’s fingers were thick, and could make you see stars. But at the moment, nothing but his cock could really satisfy you.

“I want you to fuck me. Please, Aaron, I can’t…”

“Okay,” he said, leaning in slightly to leave an open mouthed kiss to one of your nipples. “Okay. I’ve got you.”

He kissed the spot between your breasts and looked up at you with a smile. “You really need me, don’t you baby?”

“So bad,” you admitted.

With that, he pulled you down by your hips, and you took his hard dick in your hand, guiding it into your hole.

“My God,” you moaned at the feeling of him finally filling you up. “Aaron…”

He threw his head back and swallowed harshly at the feeling of your pussy around him. “Ah baby…”

Aaron’s dick was big just like everything else about him, which was exactly what you needed; feeling him deep inside you, hitting every spot that made your thoughts blurry and left you thinking only his name.

Your movements were desperate, riding him and taking him all in like you needed. His hands were on your ass, not to guide you but more for his enjoyment.

You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him deeply, wanting to devour every drop of this man’s body. “You feel so good inside me,” you moaned against his mouth.

“You like it, baby?”

“I love it.”

You pulled away just enough for him to move his hands and cup your tits, massaging them as you rocked your hips against his.

“You always take it so well. If only you could see how desperate you look, baby. Just a dumb girl who’s always thinking about my cock, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Aaron. Yes,” you moaned, and the built up in your lower belly got bigger and bigger.

Aaron started rubbing your clit, faster than he did at the beginning, watching your movements getting more and more clumsy as you were getting closer towards your release.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whined.

“That’s my good girl. Come on, baby. That’s my girl.”

Aaron’s encouraging words, his finger on your clit, and his dick buried in your pussy had you clenching around him and moaning his name. “Fuck.”

“Kneel for me. I wanna cum on your face,” he moaned.

Still feeling numb between your legs, you got on your knees in front of him and watched him as he stroked himself. Soon he painted you with his cum, and you enjoyed the feeling of the warm liquid on your skin. It made you feel his.

[sharkboywrites]

Hi, can you do Halsin and Astarion comfort (plus any others you like writing for) x trans reader struggling with top dysphoria, like to the point they actively avoid face to face contact because no matter how well they bind they can still feel them :( I've been struggling a lot (expecially since I can't bind due to health reasons)

Top Dysphoria

Halsin and Astarion x dysphoric transmasc reader

A/N: Really excited to write this bc I know how much chest dysphoria sucks, but I’m actually working on getting a binder now that I’m 18, so this is good motivation to write. Sorry I’m getting to this late, but I hope you feel better anon

Trans male/transmasc reader, dysphoria, chest dysphoria, all descriptions of dysphoria are based off of author’s experience

Halsin

- Halsin is one of those people that can immediately tell when something is wrong

- He could see the difference in the way you started to carry yourself, all confidence gone and making yourself as small as possible

- Your chatter died down, now often becoming completely silent unless you had to speak

- When you’d see up camp for the night you’d quickly retreat to your tent, not fixing up your weapons or talking to anyone else in your party

- He decided to wait until everyone headed to bed to check on you

- When he came into your tent you were just laying there

- You weren’t sleeping, but you weren’t exactly doing anything either

- You were just staring at the wall of your tent, face stained from tears

- He didn’t say anything at first, just sat beside you

- He eventually pulled you into his arms, holding you in a warm and comforting embrace, a bear hug perhaps

- When you felt comfortable enough to start talking, you told him everything

- You told him how you felt, how it was making every single day hard, how it was affecting your mental health

- He listened to you patiently, wiping away any tears that formed

- He assured you that your body does not define you, that it doesn’t change the way he sees you, but that he also understands why it makes you so upset

- He held you until you fell asleep, before laying with you, patting your hair as he drifted to sleep too

Astarion

- Astarion loves to bicker, that’s one obvious thing

- He throws small insults and comments whenever he can find the opportunity

- And you always bickered back

- It was like a game between the two of you, an entertainment of sorts while you had to walk from place to place, fighting monster after monster

- But suddenly, you stopped bickering back

- You were quiet, keeping to yourself

- You almost seemed smaller somehow, like trying to hide yourself from everyone around you

- He’d never admit it, but he missed your friendly fighting

- So, he decided to check up on you

- In his own way of course

- He’s not good at emotions, but he still addresses the problem directly

- He does it in a whiny way of course, while you’re party stopped at an inn for the night

- He companies about losing his fighting buddy, how quiet you’ve become, but beneath all that it’s clear he’s really just worried about you

- But he feels even worse when he sees you start to tear up

- He sits next to you on the bed as you cry out your feelings, telling him about everything

- His comfort comes in the form of a hand on your shoulder and a nod every now and then

- Like we’ve established, he’s not good with emotions, but he’s still there to listen to you

- He doesn’t have a lot to say, but he gives you a few assuring words about how he doesn’t care about those things and your body doesn’t determine who you are

- He stays with you the whole night, helping you stay distracted, and reminding you that he’s here for you

[stuckinapril]

how do u overcome the fear of failure when ur not instantly good at something? i’ve been interested in engineering for a long time but i didn’t major in it because the high level calc and physics courses didn’t come to me naturally and i’m a perfectionist who hates failing or struggling 🥲

No one is too dumb for something. It’s not that you’ll just “never get” physics or calculus—it’s a matter of playing around w the material and seeing what works best for you. It doesn’t make those who process things at a faster pace superior to you; it just makes them different. Ik it might sting to struggle for a little bit, I’m also a perfectionist and I still have moments where I want to avoid topics bc I fear failure, but think of how satisfying it will feel once you get the ropes down & things just start making sense.

You have to put your desire to grow over your aversion to struggling at it. I’m personally terrified of stunting myself by never pushing myself hard enough, and that usually keeps my ego in check when it comes to stuff like this. If you’re not struggling, you’re not growing. Period.

You’ll have more to say by the time the interim of discomfort is over. This world is oversaturated w nepo babies / protégés / people who’re just naturally proficient… but they don’t have much to say as far as struggling to get good at something goes. The most digestible analogy I could think of is having acne & wanting to consult someone about it. Who do you think would have more to say about that: someone who never struggled w skin problems a day in their life, or someone who had major skin problems but now has glass skin? Probably the person who struggled but paved their way through it.

No one is going to point at you one day and laugh at you for having once struggled in physics or calculus. Once you’re an engineer you’re an engineer, same as anyone else. It’s very rare for people to care how long it took you to get to the finish line. They just care that you’re there.

My neuroscience prof said this once & it literally rewired my brain—but half the mental battle is just thinking that excelling at something is in your future no matter how long it takes, how hard it may be, or what you have to do to excel at it. Literally just telling yourself “I know I’ll get good at physics and calculus no matter what, I just need to figure out how” will help you sm. This is my form of manifestation lol even if I don’t believe in manifesting or anything like that. It’s legit just telling myself that I’ll get what I want eventually, so long as I work hard for it.

[rinaforpages]

how (not) to survive academic invalidation

park gunwook x reader

hahahha...

using the american hs system bcs wow! im american... (i half wrote this at the end of last school yr so)

warnings: swearing, self-deprecation (obv), yn hits themself, angst with a bit of fluff at the end, reader is actually smart but surrounds themself with geniuses.

2.6k words

________________________________

# 1 dont compare yourself

"junior year kicks everyones ass." you wanted to kick whoever said that ass. not only was the school work kicking your ass, your friends and classmates seemed to be doing just fine.

they were working on ap chemistry minus laura and gunwook who were working on ap environmental science, and you, who took neither of those classes, felt extremely out of place, doing your ap us history homework.

"whats species richness again?" laura asked gunwook, who quickly answered her question. you looked up, planning to ask the soon-to-be early graduate a question, only to see him helping sarah with a chemistry problem.

you weren't like them and you despised that. your friends were top of the class, an average of a 4.4 gpa, an early graduate (and first in the 2024 class overall) and there you sat with your measly 3.75. they were in 3-4 ap classes, and you sat there, struggling through your 2. (in your defense, ap lang and apush are the two hardest aps juniors could take).

you didnt excel in any way shape or form. they had just about an a in every class (minus ryan in french, who had a b), and a b was your most common grade.

a good 10 minutes later you had finished struggling through apush, you moved on to mandarin. you were the only one who took mandarin, everyone else opting for french. the characters jumbled your brain as your friends spoke in french, seemingly coming easy to them.

you heard footsteps walk by, and ricky laid a hand on your shoulder, looking over. "thats wrong." he said simply. the french kids careened their necks to look at you. he grabbed your pencil and wrote the right character, then walked away. you hummed as you circled the characters you didnt know, opting to ask zhang hao over bothering ricky again.

"you ok over there?" gunwook asked. you scowled.

"i dont understand why there are so many idioms! im losing my goddamn mind." parker laughed, mumbling that you chose the language. you couldnt (or didnt want to) voice your doubts as you thought you could.

as they focused their attention on their homework again, you waved over zhang hao, who hanbin had asked to help cut fruits for you and your friends. he set down a plate in front of you, then sat down.

"what does 开夜车 mean zhang hao please im gonna kill myself." he laughed as hanbin looked up, extremely concerned.

"you know 熬夜, right?" you nodded "so its kind of like that but youre doing work. it literally means burn the midnight oil" you thanked him as he patted your head, pulling the plate of fruit away from your friends and toward you, gunwook making a sound of discontent.

you sighed, packing up your bag at a text from your oldest brother. he was home from his masters program in germany, apparently, and was now waiting outside the dorm. you loved your older brothers, you really did, but they were so much smarter than you ever will be. the oldest graduated magna cum laude from mit, now achieving an accelerated masters for mechanical engineering, and the younger was attending harvard for premed, both completely full ride.

your friends, finally re-noticing you, looked up. "where are you going?" gunwook asked, shushing yujin.

"brothers here," you mumbled, not wanting to wreck your self-esteem any more than you had. sarah pouted, but nodded, whipping out her phone. gunwook opened his mouth, but then quickly closed it. "bye hao, thanks for the help. bye, hanbin and jiwoong!" the three oldest members waved back, hanbin hugging you as you walked by. when you got in your fathers' car that your brother was driving, you spilled your guts.

# 2 dont fall behind

at some point, your motivation fell through. all you wanted to do was lie down and stare at the ceiling all day. sadly though, education laws (and school rules) prevailed.

as you trudged up the stairs from last lunch to pre-calculus, you cursed the architects of the three-floor building and whoever required you to go to school.

two of your friends—laura and ryan—had junior priv, which meant they left early. sarah and coral (who had missed the study session) were in ap chem, and gunwook left for a shoot. without your friends to motivate you to work harder, you felt there was nothing left for you to do.

you had fallen asleep in mandarin earlier that day, so why were you still exhausted?

quick answer: you had stayed up late finishing your apush bonus points.

actual answer: you had no motivation to do anything.

you were falling behind on homework: what used to be doing homework as soon as you got home turned into doing it right before class. a teacher had approached your freshman-year english teacher about it, the one teacher who you could talk easily to. yujin was standing right there; they mustve not have realized you two knew each other.

ricky and zhang hao had invited you over for a cdrama binge session. (ricky said "itll help you" in his texts.) but yujin quickly pulled you aside.

"youre falling behind?" he asked, pointedly. you sighed, nodded, opening your mouth to reply as gunwook walked by, asking what you were doing.

"nothin! ricky and hao invited me over." the words rushed out, and they were so not convincing, but gunwook shrugged and moved to sit down beside ricky and gyuvin. you hushed yujin and walked over and sat down beside hao. gunwook stared at you.

"come here." he motioned, shoving ricky off the couch. you hesitated as you made eye contact ricky, but eventually, there were only so many thumps against the couch you could take. "see? more comfortable over here" you hit him, and he let out a yelp.

"do you have much homework, yn?" taerae asked, setting down a bowl of popcorn.

"only a couple of classes," you replied, shoving a kernel in your mouth.

matthew laughed, "the usual suspects, im guessing?" you nodded. gunwook threw a (toned) arm around you as the two chinese members debated the drama.

"how much have you done? its sunday." gunwook asked, lightly, rubbing circles on your arm with his thumb.

"i can do it all tonight and tomorrow." you sighed, the sentence reminding you of where you are in school. gunwook hummed.

"make sure you get sleep, though. you need sleep, its not healthy if you dont." fuck. you were in deep shit in two ways. you were falling deeper into your rut, and you were falling deeper in love with your childhood best friend.

# 3 dont be too hard on yourself

...was easier said than done. your mind cursed you every time you got a bad grade. you wondered what was the point: you werent good enough to get into the likes of yale, or any of your colleges for that matter.

you had long since fallen off the ladder. it had injured you your 8th-grade year, and every attempt to climb back to where you were or any pushing from a 3rd party proved futile, as you only slipped and fell back down again.

the sat was fast approaching, and every practice test you did was never where you wanted them to be. every stupid math problem you got wrong brought a punch to your head. you had called gunwook, only realizing when he didnt pick up that he was in a shoot. panicked, you hung up before the voicemail. when he called you back (10 times with his members also calling you), you opted to ignore it. it was getting late, anyhow, and you had to go in early for apush in the morning.

apush lab made you want to kill yourself. sarah sat next to you, but everything always seemed to favor her. the quizzes, the teacher. it was unfair, really. american history was supposed to be your thing. so why were you struggling? after lab, sarah asked you what was wrong. "gunwook had called us in a panic because you didn't pick up." you shook your head, lying through your teeth.

"i had a question, but then passed the fuck out like 5 minutes later." sarah laughed and nodded, saying she was glad you got proper sleep, mumbling something about the aforementioned friend. when you asked, she waved you off, the man himself standing outside your classroom. he swung an arm around you as sarah walked in the opposite direction to her next class. he asked you the same thing. you lied to him too, but he looked less convinced. he didnt press you further, though, as you two began to walk down the stairs to your creative writing workshop—a senior elective you had begged your guidance counselor to take. gunwook took it to fill spots in his schedule.

the teacher loved him. as did everyone. you wondered if you could ever experience that. your oldest friend was everything you weren't and it was a point of contention inside your mind. you cursed yourself that you were nothing like him. gunwook nudged you in the middle of class when you were given an opportunity to work, asking what was wrong.

"i know thats not why you called me and then didn't pick up. you're also in your head right now." he pointed out, softly. you hummed, scribbling down something in your notebook.

"i just... i had a question but it was stupid. i figured it out." he looked at you pointedly, a look that told you to tell him the truth. "seriously! im ok!" he nodded, grabbing your hand for a squeeze.

# 4 do your best

you were nervous. ok nervous was an understatement. you rocked from heel to toe as you awaited the announcement that the doors were open. your friends chattered nervously around you. for them, this was the first time they were taking the sat. this was your second. you had gotten a 1340 on your first try—nowhere near where you wanted it to be. your brothers had gotten 1600 and 1590, respectively.

you were on call with all your friends the night before, gunwook coaching you guys through certain questions. he had texted you, (only you, but you didnt know that) wishing you luck. ricky and zhang hao had wished you luck as well.

everything seemed like bricks in your bag. it was only a couple of things—a computer, for the digital sat, a pencil, a calculator, a water bottle, and a banana. but it felt like you had hundreds of textbooks in your bag for no reason at all.

the doors swung open, and you rushed up to your assigned room. the setup was a blur, and the reading section seemed to be so too. during the break, your friends voiced similar opinions. then, during math, you began to struggle. somewhere along the way, though, gunwook popped into your head. you dont know if it was   because you wanted to make him proud, or you didnt want to disappoint your oldest friend and crush, but it worked. you powered through module 1 and 2, module 2 being the toughest one by far.

when the results came back two weeks later, you waited with baited breath as your friends skipped class with you to check all of your scores. gunwook held your hand as you refreshed the page.

"i dont want to look." you said, hiding your face in his chest.

"ill look for you." he mumbled into your hair, scrolling down. you felt him smile into the crown of your head, "i knew you could do it, sweetheart." you looked, and a big glaring 1590 stared back at you.

"wook!! holy shit a 1590!!" you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight.

# 5 talk about it

you sat with your friends and the members as you awaited gunwook's family's arrival. gunwook smiled from his seat on the gymnasium floor, holding up his phone. almost on instinct, you all checked your own.

wook🩵: this'll be you guys next year. ill be up there watching you all.

sarah burst in to tears. laura full on sobbed, and ryan and carols eyes were brimming with tears. as you read the text again and again, you got a separate text.

wook🩵: i'm proud of you y'know? i saw you struggling a bit at the end there but you made it through. i love you, yn. im glad to call you my friend.

i love you i love you i-

"hey yn sweetheart!" gunwooks mom sat next to you. his brother waved, and his father gave you a curt nod.

"hi. you guys must be excited." his mom laughed, nodding, then shoving your shoulder.

"im more excited about something else." you opened your mouth to ask her what, but the ceremony started

giving gunwook his graduation flowers made him blush. he shook his head. "do you not like them, wook? i thought theyre your favorites." he shook his head again, dropping the flowers into his mom's hands, grabbing your face.

"you are clueless, yknow that? i gave you so many hints. everyone knows." when you asked him what he meant, "yn, you didnt think id notice you putting yourself down? you know i cant fucking stand that. sorry mom. it kills me that the love if my life doesnt realize how fucking amazing they are, and it kills me that they dont realize that im in love with them." at this point, you dont know what you were doing. because gunwook was confessing to you that he both likes you and that he knows about your self-deprication. so now, surrounded by friends and seniors, gunwooks family and members, you kissed him.

it wasnt like anything you had imagined. your first kiss, you mean. peering seniors were waved off by shouts from matthew and gunwooks brother—both burly enough that even the biggest varsity football players would shrink away.

gunwook smiled on your lips as your friends cheered amongst themselves. you heard a loud "闭嘴!" from zhang hao to what you presume was ricky chatting with the senior mandarin class. when you broke off, gasping for air, gunwook tore off his graduation gown, pushing it onto his poor unsuspecting leader. he grabbed your arm, and the two of you sprinted as fast as you could.

out the gymnasium doors, out back by the cafeteria, through the back-woods path. he stopped when he was sure no one would follow him.

"so whats going on? with the whole." he gestured to your head. you knew what he meant, so you nodded. you told him everything, how you compared yourself to everyone, especially your friends and brothers, you were falling behind, your motivation was close to 0, and you never really believed that you could do it. he was quiet for a while. you knew he was trying to find the right words.

you wanted to cry, or throw up, probably both. it felt like the trees and the birds and your boyfriend? were judging you. but gunwook just apologized, for not noticing sooner, for not knowing how to help. you shook your head, tears threatening to fall, but he shook his too.

"no, no, im your best friend, yn, i need to be here for you. im serious, you have people to rely on, you dont have to shoulder this all by yourself." the tears threatening to fall were not a threat anymore, and the dam broke. gunwook grabbed the back of your head, pulling you into a hug.

—

mandarin guide:

开夜车: kai ye che, lit. burn the midnight oil

熬夜: ao ye, stay up late

闭嘴: bi zui, shut up/close your mouth

[silverskye13]

I'm curious- though if this is a spoiler obv feel free to not answer- but I'm curious what changed for wels between tanguish's two encounters :0 like sure he'd said he stopped (or thought he stopped anyway) tanguish from jumping off the aquaduct simply bc falling is the worst way to go, but he also didn't seem too keen on killing him regardless- and then the second time he sees tanguish it's on sight. Is it simply bc he dared show up again, or was there something else that caused the change? :0

I blinked and suddenly there was a drabble here. Whoops!

Hels was such a forgettable place, was the problem. Forgettable concept. People. Thing. Existence. It was too far away. Too abstract. {Until it wasn't, of course.}

Hels had started as just a him issue. His other half. His demon. That's what they were, really, at the end of the day: demons. And he had the first one. Or at least he had the first one on Hermitcraft. And he was a devil of a demon. It was all fun and games at first. Rap battles. Stupid little spats. Arguing the ideas of knighthood. His demon was always meant to lose. That's how demons went. They crawled out of the dark, harassed you a little, and then you vanquished them. Sure, their world was devoid of true death, permanent death, but banishing a demon to hels surely sufficed.

But his demon kept coming back.

Worse. He kept coming back stronger.

Welsknight didn't know much about demons, except that he had one, and in all the books and knights' tales they were supposed to be vanquishable, but his demon wasn't following the rules. Or his demon was making his own rules. Or all those stories lied. {Or the demon was right, and he wasn't actually a loyal, brave and true knight, but demons lied. That's what they did. So that couldn't be true. Could it?}

This was all getting rather complicated, and it really wasn't supposed to be.

Anyway the point of all this was, as was the nature of all personal calamities, Welsknight forgot other people could struggle. Forgot other demons existed. Forgot hels was a place. And places make people and people make places, and if everyone has a struggle then everyone can have a demon, he wasn't special. This wasn't a persecution just for him, just to prove he was worthy, prove he was a knight {and he wouldn't be upset about that, because that would be horrible. Imagine being the only man alive with a personal demon! There are some things that go beyond feats of chivalrous glory and straight to self flagellation and he wasn't going to do that.}

Anyway. Meeting his personal demon on the road, and finding he didn't stand there alone, had been something. Mostly it had been a reminder: hels is a place, you're not alone and that's bad.

Then he'd seen the creature again. Not his demon. The other demon. And that was very bad. Whose demon was it? What was it doing here? And more importantly: how much worse would it get? Because his demon got worse. His demon got much, much worse.

His demon had started as a soft, bitter voice in the back of his head. And then it was a loud, bitter voice. And then a compliant, living one. One that would humor his explorations into why a demon would even persecute him in the first place. One that grew tired of those games with startling rapidity. One that looked at him, a thing made to vanquish demons, and found him altogether unimpressive. More than that, it found him repulsive, but not in the way darkness is repulsed by light but in the way a tiger is repulsed by a songbird with a broken wing, something inherently beneath it, not worth its time.

What a miserable existence, that the nemesis the universe gives you finds you pathetic. Reminds you, at every turn, you're pathetic. A creature that looks like you, speaks like you, acts like you, that wishes with every fiber of its being it wasn't you. A creature made in your image to hate you. And you aren't even worth its time.

And it will only ever get worse.

He thought he had it mastered, or at least cornered. Thought he had it shelved away where it could only harm him when he dragged it out. He nearly had it vanquished and then it walked into his world again unbidden and with company.

Well, he hadn't lied the day him and his demon had met. No one threatens his home. No one threatens his friends.

The Code of Chivalry is very clear.

Thou shalt make war against your enemy without cessation or mercy, for you are the defender of Light and Good in the face of Evil.

Even his demon's tenets demand a price in blood.

At his first meeting with the creature he stayed his hand, because it seemed weak, because it insisted it was harmless. But as it parted, it struck him where his armor was weakest.

You two really are a lot alike.

Welsknight was not his demon.

But he recognized its voice. The mockery of the face. He would warn Tango. And when Tango, like he had been, was clearly beguiled by this thing that pretended to be harmless, tried to protect it. When Tango fell to the same follies Welsknight had with his own creature, believing himself invincible in the face of something even the universe only halfway believed in. When Tango disregarded his advice, spurned his concerns, and continued on his reckless course, Welsknight knew what he had to do.

No crusade is ever undertaken lightly, but some things, for the good of all, must be done.

He just prays he isn't too late.

[juni-ravenhall]

If you take over SSE, what would be your first changes that you make? Like immediate things you want to do?

And what’d be your long term goal, how would you achieve it?

- ro-sso

this is the best ask ever thank u but u might not be prepared for this essay........ sorry :3

first off id need to find out exactly who are the current ppl for game director, art director, etc direction positions, and who of them are making the crazy decisions. is it directors and managers, is it the CEO, etc. ofc there might be many parts in this chain from an uncaring CEO down to a confused director down to a struggling game designer down to a coder/writer/artist that doesnt get enough time and resources, like, i understand its a complex chain but that doesnt change the fact that someone (or several) have been fucking shit up for all of sse's history. so i would do a lot of talking to staff respectfully and finding out whats really been going on in the chain, and who is not working in the best interest of the game's quality and the company's stability. map out where in the company theres the most and least problems.

(this to me is easy, im analytical and resistant to lies and manipulation as a person. i see through shit very easily and i have a long history of self-studying and analysing stuff related to running companies and making games, since thats my life goal... so to some ppl it might sound like "thats harder than you think" bc theyre just not me. some ppl arent passionate about running good healthy ethical game companies - i am!)

sse clearly has basically never had good directors with good direction, or if they did, those werent given enough power and resources. they shouldnt have been changing artstyle several times, they shouldnt have been abandoning storylines and areas, they shouldnt have been ignoring bugs in general, they shouldnt have been ignoring bugs and cheats in racing and champs, etc. so, its very important to get a good game director, art director, and so on, in place, whether its an existing staff member who just needs more power and resources, or its someone new who is a good fit.

then ofc take a look at all staff hired and see what everyone is there for. after the layoffs im not sure if they have many passive workers left but id get an overview and do some interviews w staff to find out how the efficiency situation is and if more/less ppl are needed in diff areas to actually pay ppl to work on the game itself. (as an example mb u need one less social media person and one more programmer, one less team manager consultant or other middleclass word salad jobs... etc.)

then overview of salary differences. this is a huge point to me. was the CEO that im assumably taking the job from, earning a lot more than everyone else a month? then thats not happening anymore. all salaries within the company would become more balanced, setting in place a system where the minimum salary and max salary at the company are tied together in a ratio so that to raise the top u must also raise the bottom. this will instantly lower much of the top and assumably raise some at the bottom (how much, i dont know from the outside). this ratio system would be clearly outlined and from now on a pillar of the company's structure. also, check that skilled senior staff has appropriate pay for their experience, etc, make sure salaries seem fair.

along with this ofc a good overview of costs, loans, earnings, the current office and all of this to know the situation. i think thats obvious but ill say it anyway to be clear. have a complete grasp of the economic situation, talk to the economics staff.

with staff interviews and salary checkups it would also be relevant to see if theres any gold star workers who should shift up in positions, for example a very good animator could become lead animator, stuff like this. sse has already done things like this fairly often (sometimes maybe not with the right people) so im not too worried about it but i would do another check. also just general talk w staff to find out who has hidden potential that might not be getting used. (i want to know my workers and be able to help them shine, this is good both for the workers, the work environment, and the company results.)

at this point, we should have balanced out some of the leaking money at the top (and hopefully made a few leeches jump ship while at it), boosted the happiness within the company (balanced salaries etc), and have a great overview of whats going on from the more economic and hierarchy standpoint. we should have gotten rid of some potential leeching staff that didnt actually help create a good product and run a healthy, ethical company, and we might have gotten new people in positions where we needed more skills (direction, programming, whatnot). compared to sse's 10+ years of being a chaotic mess, the company structure should look pretty good now, even if not perfect.

i would have a lot of talk with the directors and team leaders and senior staff to make sure everyone is on the same page from now on: we are making a good quality game, we are being consistent, we are not adding new random shit just bc ooh shiny or cashgrabs, we are going to impress the players and make them feel "oh god, finally sso is consistent and living up to its potential". everyone at the company needs to understand this goal and why the loyal players are disappointed with the game. there will still be new horses and item recolors etc ofc, we do need a certain degree of "ooh shiny" from the player side of things (hopefully good gameplay and good stories would also be ooh shiny though), but there needs to be a new focus on the Actual core and Actual pillars of the game, which sse failed to do bc they have bad direction.

most likely, we would change the weekly update into bi-weekly or monthly, maybe starting with bi-weekly to test the waters. in order to deliver a good quality main storyline and also good quality stories and updates to tie up loose ends, there needs to be enough time to do that. there would be very solid goals on the cadence at which major updates are released and no long stretches of time without main story, and no long stretches without other significant updates.

an important part of that is also the seasonal events - i think the 4 seasons of events is a good thing, but they need to be properly bug fixed and have some design and writing improvements, one new fun (more challenging) race for each of them, etc. so hopefully we can afford enough staff that we have a few ppl working on updating and finalising the 4 seasonal events to their more or less final form.

each seasonal event needs to have a cool and challenging race (similar to cloud kingdom rainbow race or some other recent races) that HAS A HIGHSCORE BOARD. this is a key thing to me. all event races should have highscore boards (and some crappy event races may be removed, or combined into a better version of all of them together). *everyone* playing would be able to just better their own score for a generic gold/silver/bronze score, which gives specific rewards for reaching the medal score on the event race(s), and those who are at the top of the leaderboard among everyone, would get a non-exclusive prize, like 1000js. its not a huge win - not to encourage cheating to get to the top - and mostly based in the existing "daily best" system. it would still encourage players to actually try their best at the event races and feel like there's some stakes in it. (active human moderation of suspicious race results is also necessary - we should be able to afford that now.) i also think, if someone has won the daily best, they should then not be able to get the daily best for at least another week, leaving place for other people... but this becomes a problem with alt accounts, so it needs more consideration, i dont have the full answer to that yet.

also, all the tack and clothes need a stats overhaul. the random top stats we currently have are stupid and they seem like they just didnt think about this at all. this is partially a dress up game, so you need to be able to dress up cute and still have top stats and be able to win champs. if possible, i would set staff to work on letting you upgrade any piece of equipment to max stats (which would be something like 5-10 in each stat i guess). this system might require starcoins to upgrade - a way for the company to earn money from cosmetic changes, that seems fair enough to me. (maybe there would be a way to pay with shillings and collectables, but just an easier way to pay with sc, it would be considered.)

we'd also need to sit down and take a good look at what all horses stats are, which horses seem to be boosted or nerfed in races for no reason, and make sure all horses at least function fairly and as intended. after that, to consider whether you should be able to train all horses to have the same max stats, or if we want to keep breeds unique and different, then those differences should also be well thought out and actually matter. right now, and for a long time, some horses are just better at races than others (pintabian, etc), and some (ardennes) seem to be shit for no real reason (other draft horses dont necessarily have the same problem). so it needs to be properly looked at and fixed so all horses at least have good reasons to be different, if they are different at all, and no bugs or unintended boosts and nerfs. horse stats should make sense for gameplay.

all the champs need to get their updated forms, so i also hope we could afford enough staff to have a few ppl working on updating the champs consistently until thats done. i do think a lot of sso's races also should be overhauled, because racing is the main gameplay we actually have (collecting light in hollow woods is not challenging and not really gameplay) and it should be satisfying, fun, and challenging, like playing a mariokart race (that doesnt mean it should play *like* a mariokart race, just that it needs to be fun). the highscore boards and the gold/silver/bronze medal systems are really, really neglected assets of sso's player motivation. if getting a gold medal score on a race was consistently actually difficult and required practice, and getting that gold medal also gave you a good reward (shillings, items) that motivated you to aim for it, then players might actually have fun challenging themselves for higher scores! the same goes for daily best / etc scores that should be looked into, what rewards they give, etc.

also, there should be a ban on adding any new npcs to the game if theyre not extremely necessary. sse has been adding new npcs left and right all the time, and it just clogs the game with random irrelevant characters that dont add anything to the game, it takes time and resources to make their model, give them a name, write their dialogue, and so on. instead, focus all that energy on actual relevant npcs and ones that players want to talk to and find out more about, hear their storylines, etc, and let races be handled with either existing npcs or with new and improved highscore board objects (make it obvious you click them to start the race).

of course, the art style of sso should never again change. art direction from now on is consistent and solid with an art director who understands their job, lead artists and lead animators who 100% understand what the goals are. directors who make sure that the quality of art, design, animation are up to the standards of the style we are using, that things fit together in the game. new models should not actually be "better" than the old ones - you end up in a destructive cycle where the art keeps changing. the style should be consistent with only relatively minor refinements over time. so, the art directors and leads need to make sure the style continues to be consistent, and update things that need to be. (im not sure how many areas of sso should really get the complete overhauls like silverglade village anymore - at some point you're also wasting resources on something less important than the gameplay and story, but some areas also look really outdated, so careful consideration needs to go into which areas to update and *how* to update them. maybe jarlaheim doesnt need a complete overhaul but a partial one. etc.)

the gen 4 horse needs to have very solid planning before release, which seems to have been the case so far from the little ive heard about it. if players can finally get a more custom horse with custom markings, mane and tail styles (preferrably available across breeds), and ability to pick coat, mane and tail colours separately, i think this would be great. it also relates to the whole thing with horse stats and just making sure that horses function properly and have reasons to actually have different stats and such, if theyre going to have that.

there also needs to be a decision made about sso's future - specifically, should we keep developing this game on this crappy messy engine for another decade, or should we eventually say, "this is sso 1, and we're finished with it (the story is finished, game isnt buggy, etc)" - and then go on to create a new game (while still keeping sso 1 running!) on a new, modern engine, where there is good direction and good planning from the very beginning? i dont know how far they got with project curie before cancelling it, whether theres much work to salvage, but i think that creating a new horse mmo set in jorvik (curie was supposedly not a horse game) as a more or less "sso 2" is a fair idea. the potential of customisable gen 4 horses might not really be that relevant for sso 1, or customisable player character faces and bodies like the sims. maybe this is stuff that should be in sso 2 from the very beginning, rather than patches trying to fix the mess that is the current sso? i think a lot of players wouldve been happier to see the old avatars and stuff remain in sso 1 and see the new, current artstyle we have be a separate game as sso 2 instead. (runescape classic etc.)

so, i would want to very carefully consider what really should be in sso 1 versus if we should be making sso 2. its possible to decide, actually we do want to just keep updating sso 1 and make it the best it can be, to basically keep adding expansions to it. but even if we decide that, the thing is, its hard to save the original story at this point due to the careless updates that have already been made for years. my question is, is it possible to give the loyal, old players a satisfying ending to this story and these characters' stories and this world's lore, within the current state of sso? or is it just too far gone off the track? so this needs to be carefully considered. maybe sso 2 could be a sort of remake of the story, starting with elements based on SSL, rather than the haphazard "uh these girls saved the world a while ago and now youre here i guess" that sso did start with. maybe its not too late to give the loyal long term players a satisfying end to the story. but its a complex issue that needs a lot of thought. (which should never have happened! the story shouldnt have changed the way it did, things shouldnt have been abandoned randomly, added randomly, changed randomly, all of this is just bad shitty direction and management without respect to the players, which is especially frustrating bc it goes right into "girl gamers dont matter, girl games dont matter,".)

there are more things, like a weather system, that i would have loved to see in sso but ultimately might be better to save for sso 2. or maybe sso keeps going with major updates and major expansions and then it would be relevant to consider for sso. the same thing for customising our home stable, getting a player home to customise, there are lots of fun ideas like this that i could talk about but that ultimately im not sure how much time and resources should be sunk into when sse have chosen to fuck themselves over for this long and caused this many problems with the game that need immediate attention to make it playable and enjoyable. so in this... essay... i focused mostly on solving problems and making the game a solid and fun experience, and what to prioritise to keep it that way, while these bonus new content like weather or customisable horses or customisable player faces/bodies and all that, would be great updates (or sso 2) but have to come as a bonus when everything else is under control.

so yeah thats covering both a lot of immediate stuff and long term considerations. this is like, a fraction of the stuff i've thought about. i have a lot more to say about a lot of things to fix in sso and other things that have to do with running companies too. and ofc theres a lot of things i just cant know from the outside, and so on, im not a perfect person who knows everything and never pretend to be (i have to say this bc ppl like projecting things on me just for being confident in my skills). getting to take over sse would still be a learning curve with finding out exactly where the problems are and how to solve them. i view this realistically. there are always unknown variables and things i'll have to figure out when i get to it, but you can do that if you have a strong core and strong direction that wont be swayed by capitalism or ooh shiny. i just know a lot about prioritising and directing and about ways to run healthier, better companies, and ways to be ethical and create good products instead of cash grabs - and i also value the skills and knowledge of others, which matters in finding the right people to work in the right positions. these are specific interests i have and spend a lot of time thinking about, analysing, studying, practising, etc.

if you or anyone else actually read all of this (im shocked) and want to discuss more about it or have questions about it, im all ears :D

[fugos-lil-fork]

Do you have any headcanons for the Bucci Gang with a s/o that constantly has nightmares? :")

Naaah, cuz I can definitely relate to that. I have somniphobia bc of the nightmares I get actually 💀 Word of advice!; Try to pay attention to what you eat right before you go to sleep! I know it sounds silly, but certain foods you eat are known to trigger nightmares. However, those foods vary from person to person, obviously, not everyone had the same trigger(s)! But, anyways! I gotchu! Ty very much for ur request! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

~➗🍓🍊🐞⏳🔫🤐~

Bucci Gang with S/O who has constant nightmares!

Abbacchio;

He completely understands how you feel

He's definitely struggled with nightmares ever since... Well, you know...

He tries his best to really just be there for you, y'know?

When you wake up after a nightmare he's always there to comfort you

He holds you tight

Reminds you that whatever you dreamed about wasn't real

That he's there for you and always will be there for you

He's not really sure how to help you with your nightmares

Hell, he doesn't really believe he is helping you despite how many times you reassure him that he does in fact help you out

He, himself, had never really handled his nightmares problem

He just kinda got used to sucking them up and pretending like they didn't take a toll on him

But, obviously, he doesn't want you to do the same

So, every time you wake up he always make sure to ask you about your dreams

Even if it seemed like nothing was wrong that whole night

He wants to make extra sure that you, for once, got a comfortable sweet dream

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Bruno;

He worries a lot about your constant nightmares

No person can deal with such a thing without it taking a toll on them

Of course, he's always there for you when you wake up from one

Hugging you, reminding you that it was just a dream

Whispering sweet nothings into you

Placing soft, comforting kisses on your head and forehead as he gently holds you

But he knows those are just quick fixes to something that's so obviously constantly troubling you

So, he'll begin to find daily solutions to your nightmares

Maybe setting a bedtime routine

And switching it up to see what helps you sleep better at night

He'll even do it with you! You're both in this together!

He makes it very clear that you'll never have to deal with this alone ever again

And no matter how long it'll takes, he'll help you find a way to help you sleep better

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Mista;

He's so ready to help you out

This man is so laid back and relax

He genuinely thinks he could "train you" to relax and let go of your nightmares-

As silly as how his goal sounds when worded like that

He does give genuine suggestions that could help with relaxing before going to bed

Recommending that you do some light stretches

Maybe some meditation?

Hell, why not try the old classic trick of warm milk?

However, even if that doesn't work

The man is always there to comfort you as well if you do end up waking up due to a nightmare

He holds you so protectively

And reassure your that he's right there with you

That he'll always protect you no matter from what or from who

He even offers to try to do something else instead of going back to sleep

Simply to help you calm down more and so you don't have to force yourself to go back to sleep

He definitely wouldn't mind to go on a 3 am run to get some snacks from a nearby store if it'll help you clear out your head for a bit-

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Narancia;

P a n i c

At first, he isn't really sure how to help

He definitely still deals with nightmares as well from his time on the streets and his mother's passing

Though, he's definitely gotten good at basically shaking them off throughout the day and forgetting about them

He's hesitant about it

Obviously, he wants to help but he doesn't really think he could be much of help

After all, he realizes his way of dealing with nightmares isn't the healthiest and therefore is something he definitely doesn't want for you

But he's just so clueless as to how to help

Eventually though, it kind of just comes natural to him

Sure, he might not know how to help in the big picture

But whenever you do have a nightmare, he's always there by your side

He tries his best to give you physical affection and comforting reassurance that's he's never going to leave you much less let something or someone hurt you

He does his best to make you smile again and helping you feel better by telling jokes or silly stories as well!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Fugo;

Oh, how much he could relate

Fugo's nightmares seem never ending as well

So, once he realized you dealt with the same problem as him, he was completely heartbroken for you

He knows very well how painful it is to deal with constant nightmares

And so, he makes it his mission to do everything within his power to help you

This boy dives in deep for you

Literally analyzing you, to your comfort, trying to get to the root of the problem

Reading and researching endlessly for answers

If he realizes it's something he can't entirely handle on his own, he'll even try to contact doctors, therapists, specialists, literally anyone that could give an solution to your problems

But aside from all of that, of course he's always physically there for you right after you wake up from a nightmare

The poor boy even stays up to make sure you don't show signs that you are having a nightmare

And if you do, he makes sure to wake you up before it gets any worse

He hugs you, trying to be gentle but can't help but give some squeezes of reassurance here and there

Reminding you that it's all going to be okay and you're going to get the help you need with his help

Definitely reminds you that you're not alone and never will be

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Giorno;

He doesn't really understand at first

He's definitely had nightmares before but had become so used to them that he couldn't become upset at then anymore

He'd literally shove them away to the back of his head and would never acknowledge how bad they actually were

However, he could clearly see how negatively this was affecting you

And of course his instinct was to try to understand and help you

He tries to read a bit into how to lessen nightmares and get a better sleep

He's so attentive

Always paying close attention on whether your nightmares get better or worse based on what he suggests you try in order to get a better sleep

He even tried to grow lavenders in your bedroom to help you relax and get better rest

And he always listens

Whenever you have a nightmare, he's always hearing you out as to what happened in your nightmare

Constantly debunking the fictitious dream

And reassuring you of the reality

He was here for you

Always will

And he swears that he'll never let anything or anyone hurt you

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Trish;

Ah, she feels for you as well

After what happened with Diavolo, she started developing constant nightmares

So, she constantly reminds you that she completely understands what you're going through

And that you're most definitely not alone

She tries to help you both by planning calming/comforting activities before going to bed

Such as a homemade spa of some sort

Or even just cuddling and watching some comforting movies you both love

Hoping that maybe you'll go to sleep with those happy feelings and your dreams will contain them

However, if that doesn't work, she tightly hugs you

Sometimes even cries with you

She knows how horrible it feels

She'll place soft kisses all over your face though

She really wants you to never forget that you're both in this together

And you'll pull through it, together

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[be-my-ally]

Caught in a Trap

This has been a WIP since…. January? It predates my Tumblr anyhow - the concept is, uh, ridiculous, a cheesy rom-comesque situation. But for some reason, I just love having pretend arguments with Elvis - it’s honestly one of my go-to scenarios. Then, this prompt came along and I thought, huh, I’m pretty sure this would work with this, so I dug it out from the depths of my files and here we are xx 

prompt fill: “How are we going to solve this problem?”

pairing: Elvis (1961/2) / fem!Reader 

warnings: 18+, kind of manipulative!elvis, accusations of cheating, fake date, kissing, the suggestion of oral sex… but nothing actually pictured (honestly …. this is because i feel like all i’ve done recently is write the exact same description of it …. so if anyone wants to send me those time machine instructions so i can get some more inspo that would be *great*) . fictional member of the entourage as like a billy-esque person, but just a teeny bit older. Jerry hanging around when he may not have been - i’m envisioning he just popped over for something rather than working for e in this one but that may just be bc i wrote him into it and need an excuse for him to be there.

summary: essentially an alternative, younger, take of the older, sexier ‘We can’t go on together’ - Confronting Elvis about his casual kissing and the aftermath of being told ‘sure, its fine if you want to find someone else to take you out’ - spoiler…. It’s not fine. 

wc: 4.4k

as always for the dolls @whositmcwhatsit @vintageshanny @thatbanditqueen @ellie-24 @from-memphis-with-love @missmaywemeetagain

It’s difficult, having these conversations with him, they somehow always turn accusing - both of you slinging accusations at one another. But you can’t keep watching him go on as he is, can’t keep watching from the sidelines where he’s ensconced you between the walls of Graceland. It’s painful at best, humiliating at worst, watching him with his hands on the necks of other girls, kissing their cheeks - or god forbid their lips at the gates, in the car. Wherever he happens to be. He’s always liked girls, chased after them ever since he was old enough to want to and he didn’t often see much harm in chasing now either. Maybe you would see less harm yourself, in his careless affection for his fans,  if you felt like he was putting in enough effort to you - that you weren’t just being taken advantage of. But as much as you struggle through, logically knowing he loves you, it doesn’t really feel like it at the moment. It comes to a head one evening when he stalks through the front door, furious that you’d leapt from the car and stormed up to the house when he was “just talking! I was just talkin’ to her! What did you want me to do!”

You’d awkwardly stood there in the foyer, chest heaving with your emotions but uncertain what was best to say, when he’d continued his rant; 

“Oh naw, C’mon now, you wanna have it out, let’s have it out. C’mon, what’s the problem?” You sigh, 

“Noth-” He huffs at you, crossing his arms, his reddish-brown suit crinkling with the motion, as if telling you he knows that’s a lie. “Ok, fine. I don’t see why you always gotta let ‘em be all over you.” That’s barely the half of it, but no good ever comes from these arguments with him. 

“They’ve been waiting out there for hours, it’s the least I could do!” He shakes his head, “No, this has gotta be more than just some lil jealous thing, so go on - what’s wrong, I’ve not been treatin’ you enough?” You flinch as if you’ve been slapped, its a mean accusation and he knows it; the implication that’s all you’re there for, as if you hadn’t been there before; hadn’t waited with barely a phone call a week for two years for him to come home. Despite your best efforts you can feel your eyes filling with tears, though you attempt to furiously blink them away, knowing he hates it. He sighs, “Nah, I’m sorry baby, that wasn’t, that wasn’t fair, what is it?” He grabs your arm, slinking around so that he’s cupping you against his chest, “C’mon no need for that, what is it botherin’ you?” It’s almost comical, the degree to which he is in denial about his own affinity for being the problem, but you’ve already had enough of the discussion and just want it to be over now. So you clutch at straws, mind grabbing the first thing that he might find as an acceptable reason for your poor mood; 

“Elvie - Baby, I just, I never get to go out anymore.” He huffs again, pulling back a little so he can look down at you, he rolls his eyes, as if he’s about to disagree before he looks to the side, deflating a little. 

“No, you’re right. It’s not fair to you - pretty young dolls should be taken out every night of the damn week,” You frown, you’re barely two years younger than he is, “but baby, I gotta, gotta work, I’m just so goddamn busy at the moment sweetheart, I can’t just, I just don’t have the time.” You pout at him, understanding but still unhappy. He pulls you around to sit down, sitting beside you, your thighs touching. 

It hadn’t been a total lie; you weren’t happy about the evenings sat waiting at home, just hoping tonight would be the night he shows up when he said he would. He stares out the window a moment, clearly thinking. He meets your eyes, holding your gaze for so long that you feel like you have to look away before saying, “Well gee honey,” his tone full of faux nonchalance, “maybe, uh, maybe you can go on dates if you wanna. Find someone to take you out when I can’t. Just…just as long as you’re being good on ‘em. Real good, mama, you hear me?” You’re a little confused what’s being proposed but you hurriedly nod all the same, “I don’t wanna hear about your mouth bein’ places it shouldn’t.” You’re quick to agree, 

“Of course, it’s more, I just want the company El, I still don’t have many girlfriends here in Memphis now, but I don’t wanna be kissing anyone but you.” He pats your leg, nodding almost magnanimously, clearly pleased at his generosity of the suggestion, 

“Well then sure, honey, go and have fun. Actually, that’ll solve my problem with the Colonel too.” 

So with that permission, when two weeks later one of the boys - Tommy, approached you and asked timidly if you wanted to go out with him that night, “I-uh know you’re with Elvis, but I know you have a, uh, agreement of sorts, and I’d uh love to spend the evening with you doll.” You had gladly agreed. Elvis wasn’t even going to be home, and he had said you could go out; who better than one of his boys? 

You’re surprised, in the late evening, how good of a time you’re having, even as you can’t help but compare; Elvis would have opened that door for you. Elvis would have had a bouquet in his hand, if not something more extravagant. Elvis would have sat on the same side of the table as you. Elvis wouldn’t have flinched away when your elbows touched. Still, for being with someone who wasn’t Elvis you were having a nice enough time and it was fun to spend some time acting your age again. Being normal. It wasn’t necessarily something you’d want to do super often but both you and Tommy were aware your heart was elsewhere and so you didn’t have to worry about letting him down, and he made sure you were both still having a good time. It was honestly just nice to be out, and not accosted while doing so. You’re sucking up the last of your milkshake, well aware the date is going nowhere and therefore not ashamed to noisily suck up the dregs, the loud noise making Tommy chuckle. 

“You know doll - when EP suggested this I thought he’d gone insane, but I’ve had a good time tonight.” The pet name flowed off of his tongue as easily as it seemed to in all of Elvis’ southern entourage but you can’t help but wince internally a tiny bit at his usage. However, you’re immediately distracted by the rest of his sentence, the last of the milkshake turning to what felt like pure ice running through your throat to your tummy, 

“Sorry, did you just say… Elvis suggested this?” Tommy suddenly looks a little bashful, eyes wide,   

“Uh - yeah, I thought…he said he thought the press would stop hounding you so much if uh - you looked unattached from him? Said people were starting to guess you were uhhh goin’ steady stead of just seein’ him. So he told me to take you out - dinner and a movie, make sure we were seen and uhhh…. told me I could do whatever you asked….you know keepin’ up ‘ppearances but to keep my hands to myself.” You’re stunned, and feel so, so very stupid. You’d honestly thought he liked you, at the very least as a friend, and while you had had no intention of it being anything but an evening that might make Elvis jealous you still had liked the attention.  

“…sorry, are you saying that you were paid to go on this date with me?”

“Uhhh look, I thought you knew! I thought it was a joint thing, and I uh wasn’t paid anything more than I norm-lly would for an evening’s work. Ain’t like I took much persuadin’ - you’re a pretty girl!” Well there was that at least. “I didn’t meanta offend ya or anythin.” he sounds sincere, and while you’re still shaken by this revelation your brain is running through scenarios that may make the evening still worthwhile. You smooth your features, and smile up at him glancing at him under your eyelashes 

“Well-there’s one way you can make it up to me.” It’s like he can tell where your mind has gone and he looks sideways nervously, 

“Uh, well see here though doll, Elvis… he’ll kill me. He’ll kill me dead.” You let out a little, fake, giggle. 

“Oh no it’s just a game -  he’s just foolin with you, the silly goose.” You worry you might be laying it on a bit thick but he definitely is starting to relax. “Look, I uh, don’t think he’d be thrilled to see anything in the papers but look, if you let Jerry catch us in the caddy; I’ll double whatever Elvis was gonna pay you…” He still looks uncertain, and you panic for a second before you get a sudden flash of inspiration - “And I’ll make sure he doesn’t go mad at you.” He still looks worried but is clearly on the fence, “… and I’ll put in a good word with Jackie for you.” His face lights up. Jackpot. 

It’s awkward as you drive back, both of you preparing for it, he clearly wants to know why on earth you seem to have lost your mind but is evidently too afraid to ask. And you’re spending the time wondering the exact same thing, but, at the end of the day… Elvis can only be so mad, right? He does basically the same thing all the time. When he pulls into the spot designated for the car, you turn to him - there needs to be ground rules. 

“Ok. Hands above my waist. At all times.” He nods, eyes wide, “Ok, ok this’ll be fine. Just a kiss - a regular kiss, no tongue or anything.” He nods again, rapidly, like the fear is subsiding somewhat and he can’t quite believe his luck. 

You don’t have to wait long, you’d timed it almost perfectly for when you knew Jerry would be heading out to meet his current girl. You can see him stand there and put his hand up to his forehead, attempting to block your headlights which you’d ‘accidentally’ bumped on when he started to walk up.“Ok,” You look over at Tommy, inching across the seat, “Ok, quick before he goes,” You don’t allow it to go on for very long, but certainly long enough and it’s only shortly after when you pull away, acting as if you were in a daze; quickly flicking off the lights and killing the power entirely. When you glance up again, Jerry’s gone.

‘Shit.’ You think, feeling uneasy all of a sudden. It was one thing to give a performative kiss, for a reason -  to a fan begging for it, but quite another to have potentially done so without an audience. It makes you feel strangely guilty about the whole evening. You thank Tommy again, making it clear it’s time for him to leave; he gets out when you do and starts to heads towards the house but before he’s taken three steps you’re calling back to him,  “Uh Tommy, just in case - unless he sends for you, I’d probably lay low until I have a chance to speak to him.”  He looks back at you and nods. Despite your assurances (and his clear desire to go out with Jackie) you can tell he was still apprehensive about facing Elvis. He changes the direction he was heading in, instead heading for the back entrance - clearly about to go and find some of the other boys to hang out with - or maybe bum a lift home from one of them, while you get out of your car, smooth your dress and hair and head for the front door. 

You walk in, expecting pretty much a party since it was the right time of night for that to be happening and hear nothing but Elvis at the piano; your stomach plummets, it’s rare he’s home at this time, and even rarer that he’s clearly alone - you feel even guiltier about what you’ve done. He’d clearly wanted you to have him to come home to, no doubt knowing you’d choose him over anyone. You head straight for the music room tucked in the corner of the foyer and see him sat there, mindlessly playing humming along but looking out the window. 

“Hi Honey,” You go to greet him with a kiss, but he turns to face you and you realise you’ve severely miscalculated; 

“Hi Honey” he mocks you in a high pitched tone, it deepens as he continues to stare directly at you, “Jerry just called me from the car. He had some mighty interestin’ gossip to tell me.” He pats the bench “why dontcha sit down and let me share it with you.” You look around nervously but he really has cleared the place out and there’s no one to excuse yourself with, nor can you think of any good reason to refuse him, so you do as he demands. You hope Tommy had headed back out himself. You try to keep your face expressionless forcibly relaxing your jaw, anxious not to let Elvis know you’re worried; how’re you the one who’s feeling so nervous? Although you’d expected some reaction you hadn’t expected to have to face up to the consequences so soon. Despite everything telling you not to, you sit close to him, thighs touching. You’d normally hook an ankle around his, but that’s a step too far today. His fingers play a little tune while you wait for him to talk. 

“You steppin’ out on me baby?” His tone is level, in a way that says his anger has gone past hot temper and straight into cold fury. If he wasn’t so enraged you might find him amusing, sounding a bit like a petulant little boy pretending to be a man. You look over at him, suddenly furious that he, who orchestrated this whole evening, might take offence that you took part in it.

“If I was it’s because you arranged it.” He hits a flat note. 

“Because you asked me to.” He’s got an edge of a condescending tone about him, and he talks slowly, like he’s spelling something out for you. “You told me I never take you out anymore and you’d find someone who would. I found someone for you. Thought you’d be happy.” He shrugs. 

“So….what exactly is the problem here then?” Your tone is less than polite, but you had expected him to rage at you and his opposite reaction has unnerved you. You go to stand up, exhausted already at the argument that he appears to be ready to have again. It wasn’t how you’d expected this to go - you thought he’d apologise, make up, move on; although you should know by now that he rarely, if ever, apologises for anything. As you round the corner by him, his hand whips out and he grabs your wrist, 

“I ain’t done talking to you yet little girl.” You have no choice but to pause where you are, 

“I don’t see what’s left to talk about - I did what I said I was going to do, and you arranged it. Did you want me to say thank you? Thank you for insulting me like that?” 

He looks over at you and he’s talking fast, lowly like he wants to get his point across as quickly as possible. His head dipping to look up at you from under his eyelashes, his hand that wasn’t clutching you gesturing with his speech; 

“N-ow baby, I didn’t have an issue with you bein’ taken out, you’re right I probably don’t spend enough time treatin’ you to all that … although I think you get enough treats. But….Jerry’s just told me there was somethin’ else goin’ on. That’s different from bein’ taken out to dinner baby,” his eyes flash, and he looks you dead in your own, and despite how awkward you feel you can’t look away, his accent growing stronger as his emotions get the better of him; “that’s you steppin out o’line, steppin’ out on me. How are we gonna solve this problem?”

He’s still got a hold of your wrist and he’s holding onto it so tightly, you’re positive it’ll bruise if he holds on much longer. His eyes are burning as he looks over at you, and you can’t help but let yours fill with tears. He shakes his head and wiggles your arm, 

“No. Darlin’ don’t you start with them crocodile tears until we got this all straightened out.” He tugs you to stand in front of him as he swivels to sit sideways on the bench. As you try to swallow your tears indignation rises within you; 

“You’re not being fair. You step out on me all the damn time El. Lord above, I’m surprised if you’re not out more than you’re in.” He frowns, “and more than that, you arranged it all tonight! manoeuvred me about just how you wanted! How did you expect me to react Elvis? Of course I wanted to get back at you. Give you a little taste of how I feel all the goddamn time.”

“Baby,” His tone as if he’s talking to a child, “I’ve told you before - it’s different for me I’ve -“

‘I swear to god E, if you say you’ve got needs one more fucking time, we’re through and I really mean it this time.” He sucks in a breath, like despite all he’s done he didn’t expect the ultimatum, and usually you’d expect it to annoy him further - for him to tell you fine, go then. But he doesn’t, instead he looks down, suddenly forlorn as if you’ve knocked the wind from his sails. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say doll, I can’t bear the thought of you with someone else.” He’s still looking down, at your feet, like a little boy being told off. You hate how it immediately endears him to you again, how you’re immediately thinking of ways you could make him feel better. 

“Well why should I have to bear it with you?”

He looks sideways, “It’s ju-just,” he’s clearly nervous and he stutters through the next, “baby I have spoken to the Colonel ‘bout all this, d-d- don’t think I haven’t, he just ain’t keen on me having a girl at the moment. I don’t see how you can come with me everywhere and it not be clear we’re together.” You shake your arm where it’s still in his grip, forcing him to look at you. 

“Well El- are we together? Because there’s puttin’ on a show for whatever reason and then there’s sneakin’ girls back when no-ones looking.” Your own accent is coming out stronger as you get louder. 

“There ain’t no other girls darling,” he sighs, “I dunno how many times I’ve gotta tell you that.” 

“That’s just not true, if it was we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place.” He shakes his head, hair starting to come out of its coiffed position with the force of it,

“I swear baby you’re the only girl for me.” You nod, and step forward to put your hands on either side of his face. He leans into them, eyelashes fluttering unconsciously. 

“I know you think that when I’m here, but what about when I’m not?” 

“I-I don’t know how you’re turning this onto me doll, when you’re the one kissin’ someone else tonight. I’ve been here on my lonesome waiting for you to come home.” You laugh, squeezing his cheeks causing his lips to pucker as he talks, 

“Elvis. That’s my life every night.” He frowns. 

“Darling, they don’t mean nothing though! I swear it’s just for show! I haven’t had another girl in any way that matters since I met you baby.” You frown back at him, that wasn’t what you’d heard, and ‘not in any way that matters’ doesn’t mean not at all but his earnest expression, with his eyes wide, seems desperate for you to believe him. “Please baby, you hafta believe me.” He pleads, and you can feel yourself slipping, 

“Hmmm. Well….if you say so.” You shrug, about to pull away to take a breath and attempt to regain your thoughts without his eyes imploring you.  He stands, wrapping his arms around your midriff, with a little wiggle before you can get any further away. A hand travels up to your neck, almost feeling like he’s scruffing you, but his thumb rubs over a pressure point and you can feel the tension in your shoulders ease with each gentle stroke of his finger. 

“I swear, mama.” You look up at him, his lips parted - blue eyes earnest, for once not clouded by eyeliner or make-up, “I swear, I- I uh like the attention but I mean I’m a hot blooded man, I can’t turn that off baby, and if a girl’s gonna throw herself at me, I’m not gonna shove her away.” You frown, you’d been about to cave in to anything he said, but you’re hesitant again now - unsure what you’d be agreeing to if not, essentially, giving him permission to do whatever the hell he likes. His hand grips your hip tighter, as if he can sense he’s losing you. “No, c’mon baby, you know it makes sense - it’s, it don’t mean nothing, I swear it, I swear it on, on,” He looks around desperate for divine inspiration, “On my Mama’s grave I swear - you’re my girl.” You’re taken aback by that, it wasn’t something you’d ever heard him say before and Gladys’ name wasn’t ever brought up in any kind of jest. You can’t help but totally believe him. You duck your head, hating yourself a little for making him swear such a promise, 

“Oh no, Elvis, I only kissed him to get back at you - make you jealous.” He tucks your head against him, holding you close and shushes you, 

“I know sweet, I know. Bet he wasn’t even a good kisser was he? He’s just a boy, ain’t a man like you need.” You shake your head against his chest groaning a little at what you’re about to confess, playing in to his little pissing competition. 

“No…wasn’t good at all. Hadda….had to lead.” Elvis laughs, 

“Oh no, sweet little thing like you shouldn’t hafta be in charge. You oughta be taken care of.” He tips your head back and brushes your tears away with his thumbs. “No more tears mama,” and he kisses you, gently - twice on the mouth before moving to the side of your face. Butterfly kisses, before leading you by the hand over to the sofa, “Lemme take care of ya, doll.” 

He sits, legs parted and his hands grip your hips holding you in place before dragging you closer, it forces you to look down at him. Simultaneously making you feel a little small, and a little like a child, you thread your fingers through his hair, weaving the strands, stiff with gel and spray past your knuckles to tilt his head up. He smiles up at you, a little private half-smile, his eyes crinkling and you’re helpless to anything except leaning down to press a kiss against it. He takes the opportunity of the momentum of your leaning down to tug you onto his lap. Breaking your hold on his hair, and the touch of your lips on his. He takes a moment to situate you, tugging with a hand under your thigh to pull you ever closer to him. Once you’re firmly tucked against his side his other hand travels up your back to support your head, as if you needed it, gripping your neck, the other a heavy presence on your thigh. You shift, helplessly trapped by his hold on you - as if you’d even want to get away, unable to do anything but melt against his chest. 

You glance about, sure that the silence and solitude you had found him in was soon to be broken, and nervous about going any further if there was a threat of being interrupted. 

“Nah, baby, no-one’s around,” He leans forward, kissing your neck, “Let - “ he moves closer, to your cheek, murmuring against your skin, “me, make it up to you.” He whispered right against your lips. You sink into him completely, lips parting of their own accord, and he delves into them. It’s perfect, despite the slightly awkward angle, and you can’t help but sigh a little breath of relief at the feeling of it, so different from the gentle, chaste kiss in the car. Utterly perfect with his sharp nippy little teeth and darting tongue. He pulls you back, shifting you back but lower, until you’re pretty much horizontal on the sofa, pulling his hand out from under your neck to lay you down completely. He shifts, tumbling off, onto his knees. 

He pulls you around with a grip on your thighs before positioning you exactly how he wants, on your back, with your feet planted firmly down, legs spread. He tugs you closer to him, so that you’re almost coming off the couch yourself, pushing your legs apart further so that he could kneel between them. You aren’t sure about this. Not in, essentially, the very first room of the house - not, right by the front door.

“C’mon I’ll make you feel good doll, and then, then I’ll take ya upstairs and you can apologise real pretty to me too.” You frown, about to protest - to suggest, ‘hey how about we go straight upstairs now?’ when all thoughts are gone from your mind as he pushes your already bunched up dress further up and leans in, his breath hot against your panties. He’s … very good at this, and you’re under no illusions that by the time he’s half carrying you on wobbly legs up the stairs that you’ll have completely forgotten about any of those other girls, and by the time he’s placing you on your knees in front of him in the bedroom, that you’ll have totally forgiven him for any future transgressions as well. 

[ac3-76]

Kai Smith Headcannons

warnings: none😊

General

Idc what anyone says he can cook

like him and Nya were on their own for most of their childhood and bc Kai is the oldest he insisted on cooking

also because he grew up poor he gets really creative in the kitchen

his body temperature is constantly at 102° Fahrenheit

he does well in colder climates and doesn't struggle with feeling cold or freezing, but in hotter climates he gets heat exhaustion fast

He pretty much refuses on taking rest days

like he has to work out every single day or else he gets really insecure

He has the largest social media following out of all the ninjas(if you don't include Lloyd's graffiti account that no one knows he runs)

his body insecurity stems from growing up skinny and underweight

He LOVES Supernatural and sees a lot of himself in Dean Winchester

He has 3 tiktok accounts, one for fashion, one for thirst traps, and one where he just talks, rants, or does vlogs

he also has a YouTube channel that does really well, it's mostly vlogs, pranking the ninjas, doing challenges, trying things

his YouTube channel is kind of a mix of Jake Webbers channel, Kalogeras sisters, and the Sturniolo Triplets

He only has 1 Instagram and he mostly posts pictures of him and the other ninjas hanging out and having fun

He has a public and a private Twitter

the only thing he posts on his public account is i❤️my partner type stuff and dates for things

He definitely did a tweet about how exited he was for A Good Girls Guide To Murder TV show to be released

His private account has tweets for literally everything he does and thinks

"ate a fire cookie🔥🔥"

"just took a narly nap"

"you guys"(with absolutely no rhyme or reason, everyone was responding to that one really confused)

"just watched Teen Wolf, Chris Argent is such a dilf"

The crazy thing is his private account has over 4 million followers, he accepts literally everyone that requests to follow it

He's extremely good at math, put any math problem in front of him and he can solve it in his head in 15 seconds

He's also very financially literate, he's got all of his money related things in order and is a millionaire by season 10 bc he got into investing and stocks

No one knows abt him being a millionaire tho bc he doesn't buy things that look expensive and he doesn't flex his money

He totally buys expensive things tho

it's mostly high end clothing

he has a huge shoe collection that costs at least $2,813

He's an absolute fiend for cosmic brownies

He's a huge car guy

His favorite car brand is Koenigsegg and he owns a black Jesko Attack

He also owns 2 motorcycles

Dating

He's hispanic and fluent in Spanish

If his S/O doesn't speak spanish he'll tell them things in Spanish and won't tell them what if means

He does this all the time

It's bc Spanish is his first language and it's easier for him to say things in his mother tounge

(Yk in Modern Family when Gloria says that no one knows how smart she is in spanish, yea Kai totally feels that)

(he's also a chronic Modern family watcher and he relates to Gloria and Hailey so hard)

If his s/o speaks Spanish he prefers talking to them in Spanish

(he also loves if they speak it bc its also Nya's first language which means they can talk to Nya better)

He absolutely adores physical touch and cuddling

Hugs from behind.

Neck kisses.

he loves his hair being played with

if his S/O wants their hair braided, he can do it

French, Dutch, typical 3 strand, box, godess, cornrows, triangle box, twist, micro braids, fulani, Havana

whatever you want and whatever ur hairtype, he can do it

He can also do any hairstyle on any hair type like it's the easiest thing ever

He def does a soft launch at first

once your relationship is public, he post you all. the. time.

he just loves showing off his lover

However, he makes sure that while ur relationship is known, it's private

he's not gonna post any fights or issues that you 2 have, he works those out in private

he let's you steal any of his clothes(as long as you give them back)

He's the right amount of jealous and possesive

if someone else if flirting with you he'll just walk up and put his arm around ur shoulders or waist

he pretty much never introduces himself when someone else if flirting with you, he let's you do that

He's very secure in his relationship, he wouldn't cheat on you and he knows you wouldn't cheat on him

BUT, as mentioned above he struggles a lot with body insecurity so you'll have to reasure him that you love his body

He's been cutting meat for people his whole life(first Nya then Lloyd) so if you don't wanna cut your meat he'll totally cut it for you

He's so they fell first, he fell harder coded

also unexpected love trope, but it's unexpected for you two, everyone else knew the second you guys met that you were gonna be together

Nya and Lloyd had a bet on how long it would take for you two to get together(Nya won)

[soullessjack]

so one of my other problems with babyjack is that the fandom just seems to have this sort of collective cognitive dissonance about it, in almost any context or discussion. like this post as probably my only standing example (bc it’s the only one to have gotten traction), there are all these tags about how babyjack leads to bad dean criticism, or how it’s nice in aus but they want canon complex jack, and like I’m not entirely disagreeing with that, but it is so fucking frustrating that people are still ignoring the actual problem with it and either only focusing on the most surface level issues that personally affect them or their corner of the fandom, or making up some point of acceptability for it that frankly isn’t theirs to make.

it’s the autistic experience of our struggles never being seen or cared about until they become other people’s inconveniences, and our voices being used to say something else entirely. when the main takeaway of that post is how the fandom’s treatment of jack being in a way he’s explicitly shown to hate being treated directly mirrors autistic people’s struggle for autonomy in the real world, I really do not need you to make it about how it makes your golden website boy dean look like a big meanie pants, okay? that’s definitely a part of it, but it’s not at all what we are talking about, and it 100% should not be the only reason you care.

and especially when the other takeaway is how this is just a smaller scale issue that comes from autistic infantilization, the absolute last take I want to hear is that you find that infantilization acceptable as long it’s an AU or something else separated from canon. believe me, I’m beyond glad more people actually prefer canon complex jack—like, I don’t think you guys understand that that is legitimately a rarity to find here— but the thing about babyjack is that the concept itself is inherently ableist, and directly relies on his complexities (and the representation he means for us) being removed and erased so that he can even exist in the context of those AU’s. It feels very… ‘have your cake and eat it too’ to me.

I’m trying not to sound angry or accusatory, but I am also tired of having to force civility on a problem that’s pretty much just an open secret thar everyone collectively ignores and beats bushes around solely because they prioritize #domesticdestiel over all. I mean, do you guys even hear yourselves sometimes? Like half of it just boils down to “Autistic infantilization is always bad, except for this one context where it makes my ship look domestic and redeems my blorbo,” and it’s getting really fucking annoying to have to constantly explain something that is not only painfully easy to understand, but is understood and actively ignored, and still play nice so that somebody out there might listen.

So many people will say they like canon Jack and want more of him from the fandom, and I more than agree, but motherfucker you have a blog! You have the tools! Be the change you want to see! He doesn’t have to be your fav or your blog thesis blorbo, but if you want it, you are literally fully equipped to make it! Write some meta, draw some fanart, whatever. Better yet, you could even stop engaging with and perpetuating content that actively pushes down on what you want and, I must reiterate, is actively harmful and ableist. If you want domestic silliness go right ahead, but you don’t need to resort to ableism to do it.

I don’t think I’m asking too much or asking rudely, and frankly I don’t even think I owe niceties to anyone when it’s a problem that has been openly ignored for 6 years and holds plenty of bearing in the real world concerning my identity and community and shit we face constantly. Outside of our screens, we are constantly fighting for autonomy and recognition and representation, and even to be seen as people. Online spaces, especially fandom spaces, are a huge source of escapism and support that we wouldn’t get otherwise. So for the love of god, please stop bringing that fight here.

[cannibalismyuri]

People aren’t obligated to reblog your fanfics if they don’t enjoy the writing. You don’t get as much attention because you’re not as known. You haven’t been publishing as long as the “big authors” you pretend to love but then bash them immediately afterwards. It sucks, but you can’t buy people’s affection. You pretend to be more humble than everyone else but then get pissed so easily because you don’t have bragging rights.

i never said everyone has to enjoy my writing. also the Thing is; these big authors have been publishing for longer yeah !! and their writing is absolutely marvelous and i genuinely adore them. but. they also are popular bc they're seen as Better than other creators and put on a pedestal. which is both uncomfortable for them and Highly discouraging for others. and this is due to a cliquey mindset. it Is. as much as u like to pretend it isn't, it rlly rlly is. people can be just friends. there is nothing wrong with supporting ur friends' work more or being more invested in ur friends' work. the problem lies in the fact that many people just disregard other rlly talented creators in favor of the already popular ones (who are popular for a reason. their art / fics / wtv Are really good and i read their stuff too! not trying to put them down here, just trying to lift other people up) which makes for a fandom that is going to die out. and dont u fucking dare bring my fics and my engagement and me into this. maybe i was petty abt that before and i acknowledge that. but i haven't made a single post abt how my fics are getting less engagement in Months. the post i did make and the one ur probably so butthurt abt wasn't even initially abt cliques. it was just saying that we need to rb more and be more vocal of our support of creators in the tags or - wherever. NOT underrated / underappreciated / smaller / less popular creators. i was Very general abt it. creators. period. the talk of cliques came into play when i peer reviewed someone's tags on that post. bc they were extremely real and the problem of less vocal support affects "popular" creators too! ive been noticing that they're also getting less engagement. but mostly the people affected by it are creators in the fandom with no prior popularity. and it is an actual issue. also when the actual fuck have i ever bought someone's affection?? im too broke for that, my dude, i struggle to pay rent most months. and i've Not acted humble or holier than thou. the reason i have so many moots and friends is bc im a genuinely nice person who wants to support and uplift EVERYONE in this fandom. i do have personal beef with people, but im civil to Everyone. thats the reason i have friends. unlike you, i dont send anon hate bc im butthurt over one (1) post <3 hope that fucking helps <3 also the post wasnt even abt ME. bc i genuinely dont give a fuck abt people seeing and liking my writing anymore bc i have Grown Past That and just... adopted a give no fucks mindset. the post was abt the fandom slacking and not appreciating creators (PERIOD.) enough. it was never abt me. also bragging rights? babe nobody's bragging abt how they get more interaction. that's rude asf and entirely out of the question. and those popular writers ur talking abt who Could brag if they wanted to DON'T. bc they aren't despicable human beings who love to put others down. i'm Friends, or at the very least, friendly moots w the writers ur talking abt. and im not trying to put them down. im trying to lift other people up, which is smth u just Don't understand apparently. i even contributed in a whole ass event to shine light on talented, less popular writers in the fandom. bylerficrecweek? u might ive heard of it. it helped, or i like to Think it did, with helping people branch out, but the problem wasn't completely solved. people who are equally as talented as the already popular creators have talked abt their experience with engagement in the exact same post that ur so pissed abt. im going to put tags from various people under the cut so that u can see exactly how much people are affected by the prominent clique problem in the byler fandom. hope u have a good day and u wanna kiss me so bad it makes u look stupid 😚

THIS is the post im talking abt in question, the og post along with denise @bylertruther 's tags. i'm going to be putting screenshots of people's tags on this post with due credit. (to any of the people featured here : if u want me to remove ur tags feel free to say so!)

via @holyvirgilscriptures

via @runninguplenorahills

via @unwisewizard

via @apatheticlexicographer

via @fireflywitch

via @hawkwidows

via @sandinmybed

via @katimanki2

ANDDDDD thats it! hope u fucking realized that i was speaking generally and also Many people face this problem. kiss my ass 💋

[hamliet]

So... what was Midoriya meant to do? Tomura was a Force of pure destruction and chaos. He literally dragged the fight over to Mt Fuji with the intent of forcing an eruption, leading to the death of millions of people, and you really think he would have stopped there if he won? Midoriya had to fight him, he had to stop him. Otherwise, millions of people would have died. Like, you say 'someone has to accept that they've taken the last punch'. But when one side is trying to kill millions of people, and the other side, isn't.. the other side can't just. Stop. And hope the other guy won't go through with their plan of killing millions of people? Or is your problem that Tomura acted like that in the first place? You think that Tomura wouldn't have become such a powerful destroyer when he wrested free of All For One's psyche and took full control of the insane power that body had at its disposal? Because it felt quite in character for me. Like, you're laying down all these criticisms against BHNA, saying that it is clearly pro-authoritarian and that Horikoshi had 'wishy-washy coding' and so on... but, I just don't agree because, not only is the story unfinished, but I can't see any other way the story would end. Tomura was the victim of abuse and grooming, an individual who was failed by society on multiple different accounts. The fact he felt driven to the extent he was to burn everything down was tragic, and I hope the story addresses this (and it feels like it is to me). But... that doesn't mean he can just go and denoate volcanos and kill millions of people. Midoriya tried his best to save Tomura from his self-destructive hatred... and in the end, it wasn't enough. Tomura found a different reason to keep on fighting, destructive as it might be. Like, sure, I would have loved for Midoriya to have got though to Tomura and talked him down. For Tomura to live and the war to end with both of them alive. But just because we got a different result, doesn't mean that BHNA is somehow this 'pro-authoritarian' story that says you should simply destroy those oppressed by society. There's a lot of meaning in BHNA, a lot of optimism and hope behind it. It feels like you're taking it in the most cynical and critical possible.

I'm not posting your @ here bc I'm not sure you intended for me to see it.

My issue isn't with Midoriya. It's with Hori.

Midoriya is a character. Barely a character atp, but a character none the less. My criticism isn't of him. He's not a person. It's of the author. Don't set something up you don't intend to follow through on. Be creative. Have Midoriya actually struggle or fail and deal with it emotionally. None of that happened.

Edit: for contrast, Demon Slayer is also pretty punitive in a lot of aspects. But it also sets this up from the start, so it doesn't create different expectations. BNHA does.

millions of people would have died.

You're again doing the real life thing here. It's fictional. But, that's actually a very compelling dilemma to explore thematically, and one other stories have wrestled with too because it is a difficult question that touches on theory vs practice. The reality is different from the theoretical. Living with that reality even more so.

But it wasn't explored at all, and it isn't being explored. Or set up.

There's a lot of meaning in BHNA, a lot of optimism and hope behind it. It feels like you're taking it in the most cynical and critical possible.

Did I ever say otherwise? I still enjoy parts of this story.

It is pro authoritarianism, though. There is no denying that. It literally endorses heroes at the expense of everyone else, and is pro cops killing criminals for future crimes, not even for current crimes being committed which is different, as you say.

If you have good things to take from it, good! I'm glad! I have things I love about it too! But that doesn't mean that there aren't elements that are iffy in it.

I'm not saying people who enjoy it are secretly fascists or that Horikoshi is some right wing authoritarian. I don't think he is. I am saying that it's good to look at things you like and admit you can see those in it and in yourself, too, and that sometimes you can end up endorsing stuff you don't intend to.

“Don’t let us forget that the causes of human actions are usually immeasurably more complex and varied than our subsequent explanations of them.”

That's from Dostoyevsky. I do acknowledge this for most stories. Even AoT, which I praised in the post that ticked you off, has some elements (like the armbands) that I think were antisemitic (albeit not intentionally or maliciously so). Tokyo Ghoul set out to deconstruct an easy Christian-fundie worldview and ended up kinda solving things with a miracle baby which, y'know, doesn't quite work. Harry Potter has ignorant racist/cultural elements and now the author is a transphobe, but the irony is that her work thematically contradicts her current rhetoric.

Authors can intend something and convey another, because the subconscious is a thing, and we as human beings are complex and sometimes don't realize the ways in which we are biased. Humans also change over time.

Mangakas aren't perfect. I think Horikoshi failed his story and failed very badly, but he's also a human who has been working a grueling schedule for over a decade.

I'm not angry at him. I'm grateful he gave me characters I still love. He has a ton of talent. I wish him well.

[dykephan]

hiii if that person wanted another example of internalised homophobia or at least dan’s struggle with traditional masculinity there’s a very brief part of ditl in manchester where they talk about phone cases

phil says they’re trying to decide if his phone colour is a girly kind of purple and dan says manly purple and then says something like it’s fuchsia and you know what fuchsia means

that moment always stuck out to me as an example of not wanting to come across ‘girly’ or ‘less manly’. which i think phil always seemed a bit at peace with,, like he’s talked a lot about the cordless hammer drill thing (?) and becoming ‘manly’ but kind of just laughed off that that isn’t him. whereas dan especially 2012 time really tried anything to not be seen as girly or stereotypically gay. it’s also such a small thing to care about,,,, literally just your phone case,, but it came across as a bit of a big deal because it seemed ‘feminine’

also to add like you said i’m not blaming either of them bc it literally just stems from homophobia and a lot of homophobia relates back to not wanting to be seen as feminine or girly. its refreshing to see both of them way more comfortable than they were,,,, especially dan who has hinted at actually Not being stereotypically masculine at all in how he dresses or looks. it must be such a weight off of them both to be able to act how they want now

ohh for sure, i would file that under the category of emphasizing phil's lack of traditional masculinity. like you said, phil never seemed to have a problem with that aspect of himself, and in the beginning dan didn't either. i actually think it's one of the things dan found so comforting about him. he says phil was one of, if not the first, openly gay person he met, and i'm sure seeing him be so unapologetically himself was a huge factor in making dan feel safe around him. seeing him go on to use that against phil just a few years later is really hard to watch. i think it also came from a place of jealousy because he wished he could stop caring what anyone else thinks. i'm sure he knew on a logical level that no sensible person thinks a purple phone case = a gay man, but he was always trying to get ahead of the joke just in case. no one can hurt you if you hurt yourself first :(

i'm just so thankful he moved on from that. it clearly took a lot of time and effort to unlearn those ideas, and you can see that because it was such a gradual change. i could say so much about that (prayers for a dangender video essay by dan someday) but basically i'm just really proud. it's not easy to dig yourself out of that pit but he did it :')

[diabolikpersonals]

why is there ayato salt back on the hashtag smh

I dont knowwwww, ayato's been getting a lot of attention in the eng-speaking fandom lately bc it's popular to either be like "he's the Main Character he's the Greatest" or to say some shit like "he's so boring n stupid and other diaboys should get more time in the spotlight." I personally have no interest in treating this visual novel like a popularity contest so I dont see the point x_x like, these are characters in a story and not, like, celebrities who need to fight to have more screentime or w/e. it is a visual novel. everyone gets one route per game. I just don't see how this is a useful conversation to have

but u know me. ayato's my favorite character. and he's undeniably the posterboy of diabolik lovers. so what do I think abt ayato's position in this story

The reason I think Ayato is the posterboy is because he best represents the themes dialovers is trying to get across. All of the characters start off with strained, uncomfortable, most of the time actively vitriolic relationships with their families, and their problems are exacerbated by a power struggle in the demon world that forces them to view their family members as competitors. They want love, but they cannot get it from the people near them because vulnerability is not an option. Yui comes along and suddenly they have access to love and comfort that they've never had before, and as the series progresses, they start to heal and repair their familial relationships as well.

The relationships in dialovers are all very well-balanced so everyone's problems play off each other and make this struggle for familial love as tragic as possible. Dialovers is a very good story in that regard. I believe that Ayato's role in the story is to be the guy who represents these themes in the clearest way. Ayato wants love A LOT. He was abused for the specific purpose of beating vulnerability out of him, so he would never be weak or too goodhearted during the competition for the throne, but instilling that false sense of superiority and self-importance only made Ayato more starved for love and attention. So when dialovers starts making that turn from "the diaboys want Yui's love only" to "the diaboys want love from their families too," Ayato is READY for that shit. He struggles with it same as everyone else, but he ABSOLUTELY wants to fix his relationship with his brothers. He's made lots of mistakes and he really doesn't want his brothers to hate him. He wants to be loved. He loves them too.

A lot of diaboys will be really stubborn about their desire to be loved, and continue insisting that they hate or don't care about their families right up till the most recent dialovers game! And in a lot of cases, Ayato is an example for them. Think about Ayato's role in Laito's Lost Eden route, where he reveals that he regrets how he couldn't help Laito in the past and he's been working hard to help Laito now. Or Kanato's Chaos Lineage route, where Ayato sacrifices himself so Kanato and Yui can get to safety. Both times, Ayato puts his neck out to heal a family that claims not to love him (or "loves him so much they want him to die" as Laito put it one time lol) and that's the catalyst that causes those characters to realize that they want to heal this family, too. They want to love each other, even if that seems hard right now.

In those routes, Ayato isn't the main character; he's a supporting character. And as a character in an otome game, he was never meant to be a one-size-fits-all love interest that is Clearly the Correct Choice out of all the dateable options in dialovers. That's just silly, and that's not how otome games work. But Ayato is a thematically important and compelling character to the point where his character arc influences the direction that the entire series will take, and that's true regardless of whether he's your type or not, and it's for that reason that I believe he's the clear choice for the posterboy of dialovers.