#and that my efforts should be supported and celebrated
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i'm as quick to make fun of and/or critique girlboss feminism as the rest of them but also when i took the LSAT in november one of my coworkers gave me a little wine glass with a ruth bader ginsberg quote on it and you know what? i've used that glass almost every day since as a normal drinking glass and it might be one of the nicest things anyone's ever given me.
#not a woman but my coworker doesn't know that and it's not remotely the point#i realized like last week that that was the first time anyone had ever acknowledged so directly –#– that the things i'm doing are made more difficult for me by misogyny#and that my efforts should be supported and celebrated#i was homeschooled by christian fundamentalists until college#i went to an evangelical christian university where their DEI was recently dismantled#the queer group (singular) had to hide their meeting locations#it's easy for me to forget how repressive my environments were until about six months ago#i'm not about to take up the girlboss cause or anything but maybe i should like. embroider some feminist quotes or something#i sometimes feel like a lot of the feminism i see is focused more on the failures of the past than on lifting people up for the future#i should find the supportive stuff#possibly relevant notes‚ my coworker is not white & is wholly supportive of trans people#she's into girlboss feminism but in‚ like‚ a cool‚ intersectional and well-informed way#chatterbox tag
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Hey!! So turns out a video I made between a certain “well beloved but highly sensitive/emotionally reactive T.V” and an “orange haired inkling-turned-human” has managed to sweep my YouTube channel and accumulate 100k VIEWS!! THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY?? My most widely viewed video EVER to exist in this moment in time?? AAAAA?? Not even mentioning the various comments and staggering increase in subs! It’s so much more then what I expected or even prepared for—might even be the most impactful thing to happen for me this year <3
…aside from graduating high school + the social connections I’ve been fortunate to make lol
BUT THE POINT IS I’d been closely monitoring the YouTube growth through the entirety of October. It’s make me smile like a dork, gawk in astonishment, dance frantically in my room from the energy boosts, and grow courage to stop being so selective/self-conscious with what I wish to share with the world! It’s kept my ambitions going!
I needed to find some way to celebrate the occasion and express my thanks—because I can’t NOT acknowledge this milestone jksjskp. Typically I try to avoid getting tunnel visioned focusing on the metrics/numbers. Mr. Puzzles had already demonstrated how much those things can mess with the minds of creatives. Caring too much about chasing views or placing your artistic value in attention seeking gets damaging. But at same time…it’s hard to deny the sense of pride the 100k achievement has filled me with. I understand that reaching 100k views doesn’t immediately make me any “better” or “worse” then I was before. I’m still just me! It only helps me feel seen by others—and that’s all I really needed. To hear some nice words & receive reminders that my ideas are cared about. So thank you SMG4 fandom for that, seriously thank you.
Please accept this Mr. Puzzle drawing as a way of sharing the happiness around. He’s so entertaining. Love him for simply existing. So glad we can all collectively be super attached to him (and the rest of the SMG4 cast of course). Can’t wait to see more incredible artworks from the fandom :)
Just incase anyone is confused by my vague description over which “animated video” I’m referring to here—hopefully this photo will help clarify lol. It’s this one!! Sorry about not outright stating the title at the start, I got carried away with writing!!
I’ve been in an odd place mentally when thinking about it. Wondering to myself if any of the attention is deserved considering it’s not even fully colored and could be dismissed as “low effort” content (despite taking several days making it). It’s easy to get into a trap of comparing yourself to others and questioning how much of the videos success is based on your skills, sheer algorithm luck, or only because you used popular characters and catered to a specific fandom. And then judging yourself by looking at other peoples videos. I’ve seen several artists post higher quality works then my own but it somehow gets less views. So why did mine succeed when others (who should have gotten just as much attention if not more) didn’t? Sometimes you feel like you’ve unfairly robbed them of that chance to be seen. However I’ve realized that I can’t ever expect views to be consistent—and comparing is pointless. So why worry about it or feel inadequate? I mean it’s pretty common for funny cat videos to go viral, so who am I to question the system lol. “Popular” YouTube videos can range from a passion project which took 7+ artists…to a clip of Toad singing Chandelier or a nonsensical Vine sketch. Anything can happen when it’s the internet! And just-so-happened my video was chosen. I should stay glad about that and get rid of all the overanalyzing. So that’s what I’ve chosen to do :)
#OKAY SO SO SO actually started doodling this once the video was around 98k this morning#it wasn’t even meant to be art specifically designed to celebrate the milestone at first#I just wanted to draw the funky fella who makes me laugh#but as you can see that changed up fast jksjksp#I was under the impression that my video wouldn’t reach near 100k until December UH?? WHAT HAPPENED MY PREDICTION THWARTED??#seems I’ve severally underestimated how long the traction would continue for geez wow uh#people sure do enjoy comedy gotta love ‘em laughs and giggles#I CAN’T BELIEVE WE REACHED IT THO. THAT’S INSANE TO ME—ALL THE SUPPORT AND COMMENTS AND SUBS#thank you SMG4 fandom I would’ve never fathomed the algorithm to carry it so far like this#you wanna know the real kicker?#things would have gone so differently for the channel if I didn’t wrestle with my anxiety & post there#because there was a point during that day where I fullheartedly figured it would cause me to loose subs#I was kinda terrified ngl#this goes to show that you should never hold yourself back from sharing different aspects of your interests#you don’t need to confine yourself to just one thing#or to strive only to make the most high quality videos ever (I put that pressure on myself a bit too much nowadays)#sometimes it’s the simple ideas that manage to charm people#and those who see the effort will stick around to support you. You just need to trust yourself during the process and take that chance :)#EWWWW MUSHY GUSHY SENTIMENTALITY CLOGGING UP THE ATTENTION HERE#whatever happened to keeping the focus on ✨the star✨ who made it all possible to begin with huuuu??#show a bit more gratitude to the charming TV who boosted the viewership in the first place…don’t be so self absorbed with morals lonesome 😒#what is this some sort of My Little Pony episode oh pleaseeeeee 🙄#<- all of that was a simulation of Puzzles interjecting and nagging a bit lol. I’d imagine he’s tried of my nonstop nonsense#….yea the Puzzle brainrot is reaching maximum severities. So there’s high chance I’ll be animating him more down the line :3#stick around to find out!!#hplonesome art
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hey man. i'm just saying. why would we put inexperienced teenagers with over-inflated egos and obvious emotional issues into combat classes and make them claw their way to the top of their dorms and expect things to just run smoothly. who actually thought this
#the reason rsa doesn't have overblots is because they understand the joy and whimsy of life and friendship btw#LIKE. why is there no school counselor?? do you know how much time & resources & effort & TRAUMA we could have saved the students &#school from if ANYONE had reached out to riddle and was like 'hey are you alright i heard xyz and i wanted to let you know...' ESPECIALLY#since TREY LITERALLY TELLS US 'oh well here's the lowdown on her trauma this is Probably what is causing this'#or if someone sat down to tell leona 'hey! i'm rooting for you in ur magift(?) game! you're my fav player!!' AND LET HIM FEEL NOTICED#or if someone approached azul as an Equal to try to stop his plans. as a friend even. BEYOND A BUSINESS TRANSACTION#or if ANYBODY BUT ESPECIALLY KALIM was like 'jamil i think you should follow your passions and do something you enjoy today!!' or AT LEAST#let him know he was appreciated as a person NOT JUST FOR HIS WORK#'i know you're doing a lot today but i just wanted to thank you for how much Effort you put into this and..' etc etc etc#ERM.. IF ANYONE TREATED VIL LIKE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CELEBRITY??? or even 'hey i loved you in this film i was wondering if we could#do a play together or something..!!' AND LET HER TRY A TYPE OF CHARACTER SHE NEVER GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE. and sing her praises.#if anyone reached out to idia beyond a 'hey the teacher said to come to class'/'get out of your bed and come to our housewarden meeting'#or even. IF ORTHO HIMSELF was like. 'you know it's not your fault... you didn't cause all of this. not really' OR SOMETHING#or if malleus ever got to experience a small firsthand loss AND WAS COMFORTED THROUGH IT. not just quick fix via magic. not replacing. just#GRIEVING SOMETHING??????? and wasn't feared by literally everyone#um. maybe the real twisted part is that all of this tragedy was easily preventable if we had a support system in place.#but idk. twst is a highschool. there's no support in real high school either. i'd probably overblot too if i could ajdjrjfinfdndjd#twst#chatter#LONG RAMBLE SORRY#yes overblots are essential to the plot. but also. do you know how frustrating it is watching the blot build up and sitting in silence.#I'M SORRY IK IF SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS HAPPENING TO A GUY I JUST MET I WOULD PROBABLY NOT NOTICE.. but of it was my Friend or Housewarden..#I'D ASK BRO.... I'D ASK ... UGHHHHHUUUHHHH#not that anyone would notice if *I* was about to lose it tbh#speaks volumes about our society o think#OKAY NOW I'M DONE FOR REAL
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Grid Graduation
Platonic!Grid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Being a racecar driver and actively pursuing a higher education is a feat in and of itself. You didn't let your career get in the way of going to college. But when racing seems to prevent you from attending your graduation ceremony, your fellow drivers decide to take matters into their own hands
A/N: Congratulations to all the people that are graduating this month or next month! I hope you guys have amazing celebrations. And to my fellow college students who still have a year or years left to go, we’re going to get through it, even if it seems like hell. I know that the color of the graduation gowns can vary by college or are usually black but I went with dark blue because that was the color of my gown when I got my associates degree.
~~~
Some people would say it's stupid to try and get a bachelor’s degree while being a race car driver.
“You already have a career. Why would you spend all your free time off track pursuing something you don’t really need?” is the question that was constantly asked to you during interviews. Your answer: because it was important to you. It’s common knowledge that karting and racing takes up most of a driver’s life. And while most drivers are able to pursue basic schooling and education during their karting days and early single seater days, once a driver makes it higher up the racing ladder, pursuing an education becomes second to trying to be the best race car driver on track.
You on the other hand felt that your pursuit of racing should not get in the way of your education. And thankfully with the ability to take online classes, you didn’t have that worry.
“You’ve refreshed that page five times in the last 30 seconds.” Alex said as you two sat in the drivers lounge. It was media day so thankfully neither of you had to worry about racing and instead your worry was focused on something else.
“Can you blame me? I’m supposed to get sent an email that tells me whether or not I graduate today and I’m dying to know.” You said, refreshing the page again. You had finally completed all the required courses you needed to graduate and get your bachelors degree. Now you were just waiting for the confirmation that all the hard work, all the study sessions you had done between and after races, and all the all nighters was worth it.
“Have you gotten the email yet?” You looked up from your laptop to see Logan approaching with Oscar behind him. You refreshed the page again.
“Nope. Still nothing.” You let out a frustrated sigh. All the other drivers knew about your pursuit of a college education while also being a race car driver. They had been nothing but supportive in your efforts and could tell how worried you were about having to wait for your college’s final decision on you graduating.
“The email will come eventually. Staring at the screen isn’t going to help.” Oscar said.
“I suppose you’re right.” You said, refreshing the page again. You were about to close your laptop, putting the matter temporarily to rest, when the page loaded and showed you had a new email. It was from your college.
“It’s here!” You exclaimed. You were about to open the email when you paused your finger over the mouse pad.
“I don’t think I can open this. What if they deny me? Or what if this email tells me that I still have some courses that I need to pass to graduate?” You started nervously chewing on your bottom lip as worst case scenarios started to run through your head. Logan placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder
“(Y/N), you’ve been working your ass off the past couple years to get this degree. They’d be stupid to not let you graduate.” Logan said.
“I can read the email for you first if you want.” Alex offered. That seemed to calm your nerves. You handed Alex the laptop and waited with bated breath as he opened the email. Anticipation started to build as it seemed to take forever for Alex to read the first line of the email
“Congratulations (Y/N) (L/N), you have met the requirements to graduate!” Alex exclaimed.
“Really?” You grabbed the laptop and read the first line of the email that did indeed confirm that you were graduating. Logan and Oscar started to shake your shoulders in excitement as you started to laugh from happiness.
“I’m graduating!” You exclaimed. Logan, Alex and Oscar let out cheers of excitement as you read the first lines of the email again.
“What’s with the excitement?” Charles asked as he and Max entered the driver’s lounge.
“(Y/N) got the confirmation that she’s graduating college.” Alex said.
“Congratulations!”Max said. He ruffled your hair while Charles gave you a hug. You were practically beaming with happiness as you started to read the email out loud.
“Congratulations (Y/N) (L/N), you have met the requirements to graduate! We commend you for this amazing accomplishment and we’d like you to attend the graduation ceremony on….June 7th.” Your voice trailed off after reading the date and your smile slowly started to drop.
“Are you gonna go?” Oscar asked. You shook your head.
“I can’t. We’ll all be in Canada for Free Practice.” You said. It was true. Your college’s graduation ceremony was the same week of the Canadian Grand Prix.
“Do you think your team will let you go?” Alex asked. “I mean, you’ve done Canada multiple times and you’ll do it again. But you only really graduate college once, especially considering you're a race car driver.”
“I don’t think (Y/N)’s team will let her go. Free Practice isn’t something you can really miss.” Max said. He was right. Attending a graduation ceremony seemed like a trivial matter compared to your career.
“But (Y/N)’s worked so hard for this. Surely her team will understand.” Logan said.
“No, it’s…it’s ok if I miss the graduation ceremony. I’ve been given confirmation that I’m graduating and will get my diploma in the mail later this year. That’s enough for me.” You told them. But that wasn’t really true. You would have liked to attend the ceremony. If not for just the celebration but also for the sense of normalcy away from the racetrack and responsibilities of being a Formula One driver.
“Well we can still celebrate right? Maybe get all the drivers together for a dinner?” Charles suggested. You smiled a bit.
“Yea Charles. A dinner would be nice. This is still a cause for a celebration. Even if I can’t go to the official one.”
Dinner with the other drivers was a nice celebration. It helped you forget about not being able to attend the graduation ceremony for a while. But the week of the Canadian Grand Prix seemed to bring up that fact again. It seemed the media wanted to remind you too.
“Well, before we start taking questions, I’d like to say congratulations to you, (Y/N). It was recently let known that you’ve graduated college and now have a bachelor's degree.” The media commentator for the drivers press conference said to you as you sat on a couch next to George, Lando, Lewis, and Zhou.
“Thank you. If I didn't have to be here in Canada, I'd actually be attending the graduation ceremony, which is happening tomorrow. But racing takes priority.” You smiled to hide some of your disappointment, but the other drivers seemed to notice.
“I’m sure you and your family are proud of all your efforts. Maybe some of the drivers too?” The interviewer said, motioning to the drivers next to you.
“I’m insanely proud of (Y/N) for what she’s accomplished. She’s shown that racing shouldn’t get in the way of pursuing an education.” Lewis said.
“I will say, (Y/N) has worked harder than anyone else on the grid.” Zhou said.
“She won’t admit it herself though.” George said, nudging your side. You shook your head.
“In terms of something like this, even if I can’t attend a graduation ceremony, I’m proud of all the work I’ve done.” You said.
“Well, I hope you celebrate or have already celebrated what is an immense accomplishment.” The interviewer said.
“Me and the other drivers on the grid actually went out to dinner to celebrate the day I found out I was graduating to make up for the fact that I can’t attend the ceremony. It was a really nice dinner and I’m glad I have friends to celebrate my accomplishments with.” You smiled at your friends sitting next to you. They smiled back, but for a different reason.
Despite your efforts to hide your disappointment, your fellow drivers could tell how upset you were about not being able to attend your graduation ceremony. And while the dinner was indeed nice, they wanted you to have a proper celebration for such an immense accomplishment.
That’s how George and Lando ended up knocking on your driver’s room door after interviews and media responsibilities were done for the day.
“Hey guys. What’s up?” You asked as you opened the door for them.
“Put this on.” Lando handed you a bag with what you assumed had to contain clothing.
“Why? What is it that you have handed me?” You gave him a skeptical look.
“Open the bag and find out.” Lando said. You did as he instructed and pulled out something made of dark blue fabric. At first you thought it was a dress, but unfurling it revealed to be a graduation gown. You tried not to frown. The only need for something like this would be for graduation photos, which you had already taken. But Lando and George were insistent and you decided to amuse their idea for now and put it on.
“Now what? You want me to get into a race car and drive around the track in a graduation gown?” George and Lando just laughed.
“I don’t think the FIA will allow that. At least not in just the gown.” Lando said.
“Of course you can’t have the gown without the cap.” George handed you a graduation cap with a tassel in your team color. The cap was decorated with a little race car on top that had a diploma trailing behind it.
“What’s…what’s all this for?” You asked, while putting the cap on. You don’t know why you decided to put the cap on, but did so anyway.
“It’s for your graduation ceremony of course.” Lando said. You frowned.
“There’s no way I can attend that ceremony.” You said.
“We’re not talking about your college’s graduation ceremony. We’re talking about the one that’s happening right now.” George said. “Come on.”
George and Lando ushered you out of your driver’s room and started to lead you somewhere. You still looked at them with confusion.
“We already celebrated during that dinner.”
“But it wasn’t a proper ceremony.” Lando said, leading you towards the track entrance. By now, you were starting to suspect what George and Lando were up to. It wasn’t confirmed until they led you to the start line.
“You guys did not….” Rows and rows of chairs were set up on the track with a makeshift aisle in the middle. Each chair was filled with one of your fellow drivers or members of your team. Tears started to well up in your eyes at the realization of what was happening.
“We wanted you to have a proper graduation ceremony.” Lando said, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into a side hug. Now you were trying really hard not to cry.
“C’mon. Everyone’s waiting for you.” George said. He and Lando walked you past all chairs, the drivers and team members applauding you as you walked past.
Lewis and Fernando were standing at what was designated the stage and greeted you with a hug and a whispered “congratulations” as you approached.
“Shall we get started then?” Lewis, who had been designated the commencement speaker, said to get everyone’s attention. Everyone quieted down and took a seat
“We are gathered here to recognize the immense accomplishments of (Y/N) (L/N) in her pursuit of a higher education in the form of a bachelor's degree. Not only has she strived for what many have wanted to achieve, but did so while also managing the life of a Formula One driver. That is something not many can do.” Lewis said.
“I now ask for Fernando to present the graduate with their diploma.” Fernando walked over to you and handed you a piece of paper, then the two of you shook hands as formality of a traditional graduation ceremony while George quickly snapped a photo. You looked at the “diploma” that was handed to you and couldn’t help but let out a laugh. It was a diploma template that you could find on the internet that included your name and the name of your college. Though the official seal had your team logo on it.
“I now ask the graduate of 2024, to move your tassel from right to left and signify your newfound graduation status.” Lewis said. By now, it was getting really hard to try and keep the tears in as you moved the tassel from right to left. Lewis smiled.
“It is my pleasure to present (Y/N) (L/N) as the grid’s graduating class of 2024.” Everyone stood up and applauded you. At this point you couldn’t keep the tears in any longer and started to cry but also cheer. Lewis pulled you into a hug, followed by Fernando, then Lando and George and it got to the point of just being a big group hug full of drivers.
“Go on, toss the cap!” Logan exclaimed once the group hug broke away. Chants of “Toss it! Toss it!” started to echo till you took the graduation cap off and tossed it into the air, signifying that all that hard work was worth it.
#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 x y/n#platonic grid x reader#charles leclerc x reader#logan sargent x reader#alex albon x reader#max verstappen x reader#george russel x reader#lando norris x reader#lewis hamilton x reader
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if you're secure and have spare funds, i really encourage you to donate to @mahmoud-sharif and his family's campaign. his wife Soha gave birth to their fourth child yesterday (august 12th), and they are in urgent need of support and amplification as progress on their fundraiser has been extremely slow. instead of being able to celebrate the new addition to their family, Mahmoud and Soha are afraid for their children's lives and the future of their baby. compounding the dire nature of their situation, both of them need medical attention: after a pregnancy and birth sustained under terrible stress, Soha should be receiving extensive postnatal care, and Mahmoud needs ongoing treatment for eye and hand injuries he suffered during previous attacks on gaza. with all hospitals destroyed or barely functioning, neither of them can receive the care they need. for the whole family, evacuation fees alone amount to $20k, and more is needed for accommodation and medical treatment once they reach safety. please reblog and donate in any capacity you can to help them reach their goal as quickly as possible! even if all you can do is share, please please don't pass by. any effort you make helps.
(The Al-Sharif family's campaign has been verified by @/90-ghost)
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What is Broken IV (Aemond Targaryen x Pregnant Wife!Reader) FINALE
The war, the "Dance of the Dragons," as they have come to call it, is over. And yet, you are not celebrating. You have just learned that your husband, Prince Aemond, spent the last months of the war with another woman in his bed. Not only that, but his mistress is pregnant. Just like you...
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (third person, no use of Y/N), side Aemond Targaryen x Alys Rivers
Warnings: traumatic childbirth, blood, semi-suicidal thoughts, Aemond is fantasizing about murder again, all the angst
Point of View: Limited third person omniscient
Author's Note: I don't understand why, but thanks so much for all the support I've gotten from this horribly angsty fic! This is my first go at angst so I really appreciate it. I'm gonna work on two happy-ish fic chapters before I get started on When It Breaks, but it's coming...
And a huge, enourmous thanks to @ewanmitchellcrumbs and @ripdragonbeans for being my betas for this! I was so anxious about getting this absolutely right and they were so kind and encouraging. Love yall forever 💜💜💜
Taglist is done via reblogs
Series Masterlist
What is Broken
She was so light, his ābrazȳrītsos.
Even while carrying their children – their sons – Aemond swore she was lighter than when he left. He held her close to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder and her legs draped over his forearm. With every step, he could feel more of the liquid that had spilled from her womb - now mixed with small, hateful tendrils of blood - dampening his sleeve.
Gods, how much blood had he seen in the past year? How much had he spilled himself? There had even been times when he reveled in its metallic tang. But the sight of her blood was nothing less than abhorrent.
He ran faster, until he could not make out the faces of those he passed, shouting for a Maester to be sent to their chambers immediately. One of them must be a servant. With luck, the Maester would already be there when they arrived.
She cried out as he began to ascend the stairs, wincing with each step, her weak grip on him tightening. “It hurts, Aemond.”
“I know, my love.” He slowed down, though his pounding heart urged him to do just the opposite. “I’m so sorry. The maester will be here soon, and he’ll help you feel better, hmm?”
“He has to stop it. It’s too early,” her voice cracked, and Aemond’s heart with it. “They’re not ready!”
But it couldn’t be stopped, not by man or gods. Their children would be born today. The only question was whether they would survive. If their mother would survive. Her poor body was so weak, and her heart… he had broken that, too.
If any of them died today, that blood would be on his hands, and he would gladly accept his damnation to the worst of the seven hells.
“Come now,” he chided gently as they reached the corridor to their chambers. “Our sons are dragons – they will be strong. And so will you, ābrazȳrītsos.”
“Sons?” She lifted her head, her entire body trembling with the effort it took. Her eyes – those beautiful eyes now gilded by the setting sun outside the windows – locked with his. “How… you sound so sure.”
Just one more lie. One more, and then he would never lie to her again.
Besides, this lie was small, nearly inconsequential. Many fathers insisted that their children would be sons until the child itself proved them wrong. It would be so easy for her to believe. The truth would hurt her – perhaps weaken her further. Aemond did not want her to hear Alys’ name. She should never have to even think of that witch ever again.
But he could not bring himself to do it. He could not sully the birth of his sons with yet another lie. He pushed their door open with a shoulder, never breaking her gaze. “Alys told me after you left. Before… she had a vision of us holding our sons. I’m so sorry, love.”
She slumped again, her face dropping into the curve of his neck. Once, she kissed him there, slept with her head tucked there. Now, it was simply where her head lolled. “I’m glad it’s sons. You’ll have two heirs…”
Her words were cut short by a gasp of pain, but Aemond heard it clearly. It echoed in his very bones. So if I live, you’ll have no more need of me. The gods had just crumbled the ground beneath him, his heart and soul with it. He was falling, falling, falling…
“I am glad, too.” He set her down gently in the bed, brushing away several tangles of hair stuck to her sweaty brow before arranging the pillows around her, hoping he was adequately managing to hide his devastation. For he could not bear to be without her, could not bear to love her only from a distance. He would go mad. Yet he would happily accept that horrible fate if it meant he would not lose her to the Stranger. “Mother will be, as well.”
“Mother!” She tried to rise, but he held her softly to the bed. “I can’t do this without Mother, Aemond. We must return home immediately!”
“I am afraid that is not an option, Princess.” Maester Artos stood just within the doorway, maids and Septas streaming in behind him. He was a mountain of a man, better suited to the battlefield than the birthing bed. But he was good at what he did – very good. Aemond had seen him work miracles on men who should have never survived their injuries.
The moment the women began attending to his wife, he approached the Maester, speaking quietly so as not to frighten her. “Something is wrong, Artos, she is bleeding. And she’s very weak.”
Artos hardly acknowledged him, looking only at the princess lying in the bed. “The blood is not the problem. She is distressed and too thin.” He stated, as cold and clinical as all other Maesters.
“Yes, I know that already.” Aemond took a shaky, calming breath. He did not like the way Artos observed her, as if she was a thing to be studied rather than a woman – a princess. Perhaps when it was all over, he’d kill the man for it. “I fear she is not strong enough to survive this.”
She cried out behind them. Two maids were pressing damp cloths to her forehead. Another was hastily braiding her hair back. A Septa had begun cutting away her dress, leaving her only in her chemise as two more maids removed her slippers and stockings. Two other Septas knelt by the windows, praying, while one woman who seemed to be neither maid nor Septa laid metal and wood instruments atop a tall, thin table.
It took every ounce of Aemond’s self-control not to go to her. To shove away each woman because it should be him – and him alone – to touch his wife while she was so vulnerable. He should be the one to protect her, but he couldn’t. He could only hurt her, it seemed.
“Artos!” Aemond hissed.
“Is her spirit weak as well?” There was suspicion in his dark eyes. The same he’d shown when he confirmed Alys was carrying a child. If he hadn’t been so proficient a healer, Aemond might have killed him then.
But for now, Aemond was glad Artos was alive. He swallowed, avoiding looking back at the bed as his wife continued to whimper and moan. “Yes.” The maester just hummed before approaching the bed. Aemond followed, kneeling at the bedside, the maids immediately clearing away.
“This is Maester Artos, ābrazȳrītsos.” She stared wide-eyed at the hulking mass of the man who now knelt between her legs. Aemond tugged on her hand, her gaze snapping back to him. “I know him well. He’s going to take very good care of you, I promise.”
She shuddered, her eyes closed tight as she squeezed Aemond’s hand so hard he had to bite his tongue to keep from crying out. He delighted in it. She was not as weak as he thought, thank the gods. If she needed to break every bone in his hand – in his body – to live through this, he would let her do so without complaint.
“Are you going to stay with me?” she asked, her voice already ravaged by screaming.
Aemond blinked. When they first learned they were to have a child, he swore he would. But now, it seemed impossible for her to want him there. Not after what he’d done. “Do you… want me to stay?”
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out but another moan of pain. Her eyes darted all over his face. The longer she stayed silent, the further Aemond’s stomach dropped, and his heart ached.
“I believe it wise to have the prince wait outside,” Artos said decisively.
Aemond felt her hand slide out of his, the sensation the same as if he were falling from Vhagar’s back—her answer.
He nodded, and though he knew he shouldn’t, he leaned over her and kissed her forehead, trailing a hand down her cheek. “I love you.”
As he walked to the door, he still held a little shred of hope in his heart, waiting to hear her say it back.
It never came.
The moment the door shut behind Aemond, she regretted sending him away. She wanted to call him back so she wouldn’t be alone with so many strangers. But panic began to set in as the maids pulled her gently down the bed, and her voice failed her.
“It won’t be long now, princess,” the maester said, but she found no comfort in it. She couldn’t even remember his name. Alton? Alyn? Amos? Aemond had said he trusted him, but…
But that meant he had been here when Aemond was with Alys. And that glint of pity in his eyes, not just for her conditions, but for what he knew. He knew. Seven Hells, he’d probably been the one to care for Alys and her pregnancy.
Alys. Alys, Alys, fucking Alys!
She did not know what to think of the woman who had stolen so much from her. Had she stolen it, or had Aemond given it? She could hardly make sense of what she’d learned in that dreary little room.
Alys was not the evil, scheming witch she had first imagined. But neither was she innocent in the affair, not wholly. She was not remorseful for her actions, but she apologized for hurting her. She had been kind.
Blinding pain shot through her, and she screamed. Wordless and desperate, her only outlet for release. She needed to scream, needed to roar, needed to breathe fire. Anything to distract from this. Gods, she even wished for a moment for Alys to be there, holding her hand. At least then, she could return some of that pain.
“Princess,” the maester said, though he sounded far away. Though it was more likely that her shouting was drowning him out. “Very soon, I will ask that you push. Do you know how, your highness?”
Push. That’s what the septas had instructed Helaena to do at the birth of her twins and for Maelor. She even had vague memories of the word from when she peeked through the open door to her mother’s chambers when Daeron was born. But what it meant and how to do it?
Her confusion must have been apparent, for the maester continued. His voice was frustratingly calm and steady. “It is fine if you do not, princess. You must simply follow your instincts. When you feel the urge, push the child outward with all your might.”
“I have no might.” She heard herself laughing through tears and only then realized she was crying. Someone took her hand – she didn’t know who. But the feeling of another’s skin on hers was heavenly.
“You have carried these babes for months,” the maester – Artos! that was his name – said gently, “while your husband and the realm were at war. In my estimation, you are the mightiest woman in Westeros.”
She felt nearly every muscle she had tense, turning her answering grateful smile into a grimace. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not have weathered her pregnancy as well as a paper boat in a storm. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not still love her husband after he betrayed her. The mightiest woman in Westeros would not have let her emotions weaken her or put her children’s lives in danger.
She was far from the mightiest woman in Westeros, and she could not do this. She wasn’t strong enough. She was only a weak and broken little girl.
A maid approached, a fresh cool, damp cloth in her hands. The princess had not looked at any of their faces, too absorbed in her pain and panic. But now, she caught the eyes of this girl—deep, rich brown, so similar to her own – to her mother’s.
“I want my mother,” she whispered to the maid, even knowing it was impossible. “I can’t do this without her.”
The maid gaped at her as if she could not fathom a princess ever speaking to her. She looked to her companions for guidance, but the princess only looked into the maid’s eyes and thought of her mother—the scent of the rosemary oil she used in her hair, the warmth of her embrace, and the soothing tones of her voice.
“Please, I want my mother,” she begged. A new surge of pain gripped her, radiating into her legs. They were coming faster now; she barely had time to breathe between each wave. “Please.”
“I’m so sorry, Your Highness.” The maid’s voice was high and breathy, nothing like her mother’s. “The queen is not here.”
She cried, turning away from those false eyes. She was alone – entirely and utterly alone.
“Princess, I need you to be strong now.” Artos’ sweaty brow was furrowed with half a dozen creases, his eyes wide and mouth a firm line. He looked more like a commander on a battlefield than a maester. The Grand Maester would have smiled at her, but he was not here, either. “Your labors are progressing quickly. It is nearly time to push.”
“I don’t know how,” she cried. She refused to open her eyes. If she kept them closed, she could almost imagine she was home.
Artos wrapped his hands around her ankles, pushing them upwards and further apart. “You do, princess. The Mother wove the knowledge into your body. Listen to it, and all will be well.”
“I – ”
Her next scream rattled the room, the keep, the entirety of the Riverlands.
Fire, ice, steel, and claw seemed to rake down her spine to her thighs. But Artos was right; her body reacted to the pain, her muscles moving near-unconsciously to force the babe out of her womb. She followed the instinct, pushing it harder, harder, harder.
“Very good, princess!” Was that Artos or Orwyle? She couldn’t tell anymore.
It was never-ending.
Pain, pushing, and a brief moment of reprieve.
Again.
Again.
Again.
It lasted hours, days, perhaps even years.
Was a child – a son – even worth this pain? How could she love someone who had tortured her so? Would she ever be able to look at him without remembering how she suffered?
Pain.
Pain.
PAIN.
Then –
“Stop, princess!”
She went limp, vaguely beginning to feel other sensations creep in: the coolness of the water on her forehead, the slight scratching of the sheets beneath her, and the hushed whispers of the maids and midwives.
The pain was still there, but softer. Less insistent.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice nearly unrecognizable, even to her.
Artos emerged from between her legs, relief painted over his harsh face. “Nothing is wrong, princess. It is simply time to be gentle and allow your body to do its work.” He smiled, chuckling under his breath. “I can see your babe’s white hair – quite a bit of it.”
Laughter bubbled up in her throat. Deep, joyous laughter. Another slight wave of pain passed through her, but she didn’t care at all. She was thinking about her niece and nephew, how Jaehaerys was born with nearly a full mane of silver frizz while Jaehaera had not a single hair on her head until she was over a year old. “He has hair?”
“Yes, although I do not know yet whether it is a boy, princess.”
“It is. He is.”
There was one more brief surge of pain, and then she heard her son cry.
It was torture to wait outside while his ābrazȳrītsos screamed with pain. At first, Aemond stood leaning against the wall, as Aegon did when Helaena began her labors, but his knees failed him when he heard a scream that rattled the world.
He’d been on the floor since, resisting the urge to cover his ears. But he had caused her this pain, so he must listen.
He would be in that room with her if he hadn’t been a weak, damnable fool. He would have held her hand, letting her release her pain onto him. She had only squeezed his hand once, yet he still felt the ghost of her touch on his skin. He would savor that pain for the rest of his life.
It seemed to be never-ending, the torture his son was inflicting upon her. How could he ever forgive the child for doing this to his own mother?
Then, it stopped.
Aemond leaped to his feet, panic infecting his blood like a disease. Why had she gone quiet? What was wrong? Was she dead? He couldn’t face –
A babe cried—his first cry, with his first breath.
Their son.
He tried to push the door open, but it was locked.
“Let me in!” he shouted, pounding his fist on the door. “Artos, let me in!”
There was no answer, but he could hear soft voices inside. None sounded like hers. Oh gods, had she brought their son into the world at the cost of her own life?
Aemond slammed himself against the door again and again, not caring for the damage he was doing to his own body. “Open the door now, Artos!”
He threw himself against the wood again and again. At some point, it had to yield. Either it would, or his body would.
It opened just before he launched himself at it again—not all the way, but it was open. Then, Artos stared at him through the gap with his hateful, disapproving gaze.
“Let me in,” he growled. Trying to force the door open was useless, as the maester was practically a giant and, apparently, throwing all his strength into holding it closed. “If you don’t let me see my wife, I swear I’ll – ”
“Your wife has not finished her labors yet, my prince.” Damn him, the mountainous bastard. “But I am pleased to inform you that she has borne you a son.”
Though he knew it was to be a son, the words still shot through him. A son. His son. Their son.
“Is he healthy? Is she?” There was no more fight in his voice. The warrior prince had vanished, replaced only by the husband and father. By all the gods, he was a father.
Artos nodded. “The boy is small but healthy. Your maester may have miscalculated the date of conception. He is remarkably healthy for being born so early.”
“And my wife?”
“She is tired, but well. The second babe is not quite ready to emerge, so she is resting.”
The weight of all the world was lifted from his shoulders. He felt like the little boy he had once been on Driftmark, wanting nothing more than to see his zaldrīzītsos and take comfort in her embrace. “May I see her? Please.”
“I’m afraid not, my prince.” Artos at least had the decency to sound genuinely apologetic. “She needs this rest. With the first birth, she was wonderfully strong, more than I could have ever imagined. But I fear she has depleted her strength. She fell asleep the moment it was done.”
“Is… is it bad that she fell asleep?”
Artos sighed, his eyes turning to the floor. “Ordinarily, no, but with how thin she is, how weak… it worries me.”
No. No, no, no. “Is there anything you can do? To help strengthen her?”
“I am afraid not, my prince.”
“Well, do something. Do whatever you can.”
A soft moan came from behind the door. Ābrazȳrītsos. Aemond pushed against the door, opening it as far as he could to try and catch the barest glimpse of her.
Her eyes were nearly closed, her reddened cheeks making them appear as dark as night. Her chemise was soaked through with sweat and whatever other fluids came out with their child. But no blood beyond what he already knew to be there.
“Ābrazȳrītsos! I’m here!” He shouted. It took a moment for her to look his way. He could have sworn she smiled. “I’m with you! You must be strong, my love. I know you can be. I love you! I love you so much, ñuha zaldrīzītsos!”
Artos pushed against the door, forcing Aemond back. “That is enough, my prince. Upsetting her will only drain her strength.”
Aemond knew it was true, that his presence would likely upset her rather than comfort her. So, he stopped resisting and allowed the maester to close the door. Just before it closed, he whispered one final command, “Take care of her, Artos. She is my world.”
The pain returned, worse than before. The lightning crept down her spine again, but it was now accompanied by a great force set on tearing her body apart at the seams. Pushing brought no relief, nor did it seem to move her son any closer to the world.
Artos came to her bedside, resting the back of his hand against her brow.
“It’s worse this time,” she confided in the maester when it finally ebbed. “It’s so much worse. Why?”
He sighed and sat on the bedside, his massive hand nearly eclipsing her head as he stroked her hair. It made her feel remarkably like a kitten. “I cannot say, princess. There are many possibilities. This child could be larger, in a slightly different position, or…” He hesitated. “As I said, there are too many possibilities for me to be sure.”
His pause unsettled her, but it soon faded away when another wave went through her. “Is he nearly ready? I can’t do this much longer.” At least she knew what to do this time, so surely it would be better.
“Ah, another son, is it?” Artos stood from the bed to examine her spread legs. Several maids gently moved her to replace the sheets beneath her. “Not yet, but soon. Your motherly instincts will tell you when.”
Motherly instincts. Gods, she was a mother now. There was a child on the other side of the room that she had given birth to, that she had grown within her. A son who would depend on her for his entire life. Her, and his father.
Aemond would be a good father, she knew, even if he were decidedly lacking as a husband. But as a father, he would be attentive, kind, and loving. He would give their sons all the love he was denied by their own father.
They would not repeat the mistakes of the past. They would love their sons. They would not ignore them, speaking to them only to scold them. They would teach them the language of their ancestors themselves instead of relying on tutors. As soon as they were old enough, they would teach them how to be compassionate and fair rulers. They would not force them to marry for political advantage or the continuation of the bloodline but let them fall in love, as they had.
She could see them now. Both with white hair and unruly curls. Bright lilac eyes. The elder would take after her, but with Aemond’s determination. The younger would take after their father but with her gentle temperament.
As if the vision was summoning her second son, she felt her body constricting, muscles tightening. Without fear, she began to push.
“Princess, stop!”
Artos screamed as if someone was holding a sword to his throat, desperate and panicked. His eyes were wide and bulging as he looked from her face to where her second son should be emerging. “You mustn’t push now, princess. Not once. I…”
He stood, pulling one of the Septas aside. Others followed, and their frantic, poorly hushed whispers grew louder. She knew the sight should frighten her, but she forced herself to remain calm. Aemond said he trusted this man and had seen him work miracles. Whatever was wrong, Artos would fix it.
She was sure.
Artos burst out of the door without warning. Aemond pushed away from the wall. “Is it over?”
The maester sighed.
Shit. Seven Hells and all the Gods.
“Your wife is strong, my prince,” he began. Holy gods, he sounded as if he would cry. “Enough so that I would have little doubt that she could deliver your second child, but…”
“What’s wrong?” Aemond felt his heart race, his blood surge, his finger twitching for his sword. He was going into battle, but this was not a battle he could fight with steel or fire. This was not a battle he could fight at all. “Artos?”
“The babe is not in the right position.” He moved his hands as if it would somehow make Aemond understand what he was saying.
“What does that mean?”
“It means that the babe cannot be born, your highness.”
No. This couldn’t be happening. Not after everything she had suffered and survived.
“If she were to continue her labors, neither she nor the child would live.” Artos put a hand on his shoulder, an attempt at comfort. “I can save only one. Who survives… that is your decision, my prince.”
The gods were cruel to force this upon him – the very choice that had damned their family decades ago when Viserys chose to sacrifice his wife and queen for the chance at a son. That was where the seeds of destruction had been sown.
Aemond could not repeat the mistakes of the past. He would not be like his father. He had his son and heir. A second would be preferred, but not at the cost of his ābrazȳrītsos.
His ābrazȳrītsos, whose heart would break to lose her son. Who would never forgive him if he decided to –
He couldn’t choose. He couldn’t let her die, and he couldn’t let their son die.
He couldn't live without her, and he couldn’t take away her will to live.
He tore himself out of Artos’ grasp and stormed into the room.
Aemond threw open the door, his eyes wide and wet, and suddenly, she was not so sure that Maester Artos would fix whatever was wrong.
He ran to the bed, not sparing a glance at their new son. She burst into sobs the moment he took her in his arms. “Oh, ābrazȳrītsos,” he whispered into her hair as he kissed her temples. She entwined her fingers with his, desperately squeezing. “I’m here now. Everything is going to be fine.”
Liar. Sweet Liar. Beloved Liar.
“I want Mother. I want Helaena.” Her voice crackled with tears and exhaustion. Everything hurt. Someone – most likely her – was crying, though it sounded distant. And if Aemond was here, not waiting outside…
If Aemond was here, holding her hand and stroking her hair, it meant something was wrong. Something was very wrong.
“Mother is not here right now,” he said, squeezing her hand tighter. He wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t meet her gaze. “And Helaena… she can’t be here. I’m so sorry.”
“She told me she would hold my hand like I did for her. She promised!”
“I know. I know, my love, but it is not possible.”
Because Helaena was dead. So were Daeron, and Jaehaerys, and Jaehaera, and Maelor, and Otto, and Ser Criston, and nearly every other person she loved. Aegon would be dead soon, too, then she would only have her mother and her husband.
Her mother, who had begged her to forgive the husband who betrayed her and broken her heart.
“I can’t do this alone, Aemond. I can’t.”
“You can, I know it. You are so strong, dearest.” Yet there was no confidence in his voice.
She wanted to scream. She wanted to tear his hair out just to make him hurt, too. “I can’t! I’ll die if you make me, Aemond, I know it. I know something is wrong. Please, tell me.”
He pursed his lips, eyes narrowed. “My love, I…” his voice faded, leaving them in total silence, save for that distant crying.
Then, he kissed her—not the soft kisses on the temple or head of the past fortnight, but the way he had kissed her when he said goodbye all those months ago. His lips slotted against hers perfectly, and she opened for him on instinct. She knew she should stop, push him away, and scold him, but she couldn’t.
Everything felt wrong—her entire body felt wrong. But this, kissing Aemond, felt right. Her desperation for comfort far overpowered her anger and resentment. Her trembling hand rested on his shoulder, her fingers bunching in his shirt. She pulled him closer, wanting more—more rightness, more connection, more feeling.
More Aemond.
But he pulled away, resting his brow against hers as she chased his lips again. He placed a hand on either side of her face, holding her still. “I’m going to fix this,” he rasped, his voice shredded by fear and desperation. “I will fix this, I swear.”
Then, he let go.
He stood from the bed and turned away from his wife.
He was leaving. He was fucking leaving her.
She screamed his name, cursed him, begged him to come back, hurled insults, and cried for him. He couldn’t do this to her, not after everything he’d already done.
This was not love. The heat that burned in her chest was not love.
It was hate.
For the first time in her life, she truly hated Aemond.
“Alys!” Aemond bellowed as he descended the stairs to the servant’s quarters, taking the steps two, three at a time. No one dared approach him. Not even Artos had tried to stop him as he ran away from his ābrazȳrītsos.
She may hate him forever for this, for leaving her when she was so weak and scared.
Fine. It would be worth it.
“ALYS!” The door snapped from its upper hinge as he tore it open. The witch was precisely where she’d been when Aemond left, her hand on her chin as she looked into the fire. What vile hell did she see in her visions now? “Alys!”
“I heard you, Aemond.” She did not look at him, only staring at the flames, those green eyes flitting around as if she were reading a book. “The entire continent heard you.” There was no humor in her voice, no hint of a smile on her face.
He swallowed, panting. He was crying – weeping like a little boy. That didn’t matter now. Very little mattered now.
Aemond fell to his knees before the witch with whom he had destroyed his life. He would do whatever she asked, destroy what little was left of his pride if necessary. “I need your help, Alys. Please.”
“She’s dying?”
“Yes. The maester said I had to… that I had to choose who to save.”
“And you can’t choose between her and the child.”
“No, I – ” he swallowed as his voice shattered. He was going to vomit. “I can’t, Alys. I can’t. Please.”
“What is it, exactly, that you want me to do?” She was colder than the Wall, than the entirety of the lands beyond it.
“Save them, both of them.”
Alys’ eyes narrowed. Her face was painted with an expression he had never seen. He had no clue what it meant. “What would you sacrifice,” she asked flatly, “to ensure your wife and her children – your true heirs – live?”
“Anything,” Aemond croaked, “Everything.”
One corner of her sinful mouth lifted in a way that did not bring him comfort. She sighed as if taking the time to thoroughly consider his plea. The wicked bitch was gleefully stalling when the lives of his wife and child could end at any moment.
“Please, Alys,” he begged again, desperation crawling through his veins like spreading ice. “I cannot live without her, and she will never recover from her grief if she loses the babe.”
Something passed over her face, and she smiled fully. “You have always been a man of loyalty and nobility, Aemond.” Her grin sharpened as she laid one delicate hand upon her belly. “Almost always, at least.”
“Alys,” he growled in warning.
“Oh, don’t be a beast about it,” she scoffed. “I will do it – save them. If only in memory of our time together.”
Aemond sagged as relief swept through him, but it did not last long. She was still dying. The babe was still dying. Whatever Alys would do, she needed to do it now. He opened his mouth to command her to start, but she held up a hand to stop him.
“I promise it will be done.” She flung her hand to the door in dismissal. “You should be there for her. She is still so very frightened.”
He needed nothing more to run back to his wife.
She was alone. Even with Maester Artos and the dozen women hovering around her, even with her son cooing softly from the cradle by the window, she had never felt so alone.
Aemond was gone.
He’d left her. Without even a goodbye, he’d left her. He had not even stopped to meet his son.
Artos murmured something to one of the Septas, who quickly gathered the other women on the far side of the room. He approached the bed, again seating himself upon the edge, and pressed the back of his fingers to her brow briefly before petting her hair. “How are you feeling, princess?”
“Am I going to die?”
He hesitated in answering. “I cannot say for certain…”
“I know something is wrong. Please, tell me.” Her heart constricted as his fingers brushed against a spot where Aemond had kissed her. “You told him, now tell me.”
“Very well,” he sighed. His harsh face fell, and she swore she could see his eyes glistening. “The babe is breech. It should emerge head-first, but it is not. It’s… the way it is attempting to come out is nearly impossible. Should I not intervene, one or both of you will die.”
No. No, no, no, it wasn’t fair. To suffer for this long, to endure what she endured, only for her child to enter the world wrong? In a way that would kill them? She had always been good and devout. She prayed and studied holy texts, listened to her Septas and the Maesters, and avoided sin at all costs. Then why was she being punished?
Unless… the gods had not sent this to punish her.
Aemond had abandoned her and their marriage – their holy union – when he slept with Alys. It would be fitting, and very like the gods, for him to lose that which he had forsaken. She and her second son were merely instruments of punishment. But it wasn’t fair.
“There is nothing you can do?” She felt hollow as Artos continued to look at her in pity.
The warrior-maester looked as if he were about to cry, as well. “In these situations, it is usually asked of the father whom he would rather save.”
So that was why Artos left the room – to ask Aemond whether to save her or the child.
“Who did he choose?” Either answer would devastate her. He would either prove the fragility of his love for her, or he would willingly break her heart by killing their son. Whatever he chose, he would become a kinslayer thrice over.
“He… he did not, your highness.”
“What?”
“I explained the situation, and he stormed in here – to you. When he left, he said nothing. He just ran. I presumed he had…” But he hadn’t. Had not said a word about the peril she and their son were now in.
A coward. Too frightened to maintain his vows of marriage. Too weak to admit his wrongdoing. Too cowardly to even make this most crucial of decisions. The gods damn him.
If they hadn’t already.
“So… what will you do?” If she had to be the one to make the decision, so be it.
“There are three options.” None of them were very good, she knew, simply by looking at his forlorn face. She had thought him a grave man when she first saw him. Now, he looked mournful – a reluctant harbinger of death. “I can forcibly remove the child, more than likely killing it in the process. I can attempt to save it and, in so doing, certainly kill you. Or we can proceed with the birth, risking killing both of you and pray that the gods may be merciful.”
Such a choice – a decision of life and death – should be difficult. It should tear away at the soul to condemn another. It should be far beyond the limits of the heart or mind.
But it was easy.
“Save him,” she whispered. “Let me die.”
Artos frowned deeply, shook his head, and said something in return, but she did not listen – she could not and would not hear his words. She only vaguely saw him move to the end bed, ripping away the sleeve of his robes as he barked orders at the maid and midwives. Perhaps the gods were merciful to dull her senses now so she could pass peacefully.
What did it matter if she died now?
She will have fulfilled her duty and given her husband his heirs. Finding a new wife would be easy – what woman would not want to marry him? Even if news of Alys spread beyond the walls of Harrenhal, surely it was nothing in exchange for a crown. Aemond would have everything he needed to be king.
If she lived, what sort of life would it be? To raise one son while constantly mourning the other. To be the wife of a man she could no longer trust. To remain empty, a shell of her former self. She would be alive, but she would still be a ghost.
“Save him,” she said again, her voice fading.
It was easier this way. Hadn’t she already learned that it was easier not to fight? Letting Aemond take care of her was easier than fighting him. Perhaps it would be easier to let him care for the children, too. He would love them enough that they would not feel her absence.
Distantly, she felt pressure between her legs, then heard her firstborn son cry out to echo her own screams.
Her son.
Oh, he had no name.
She couldn’t leave him motherless and without a name.
Months ago, she had decided on names, but they were hard to remember now. What was it? She could grant him this one last gift. She just needed to remember…
“Daeron.”
Yes. It had been her brother’s name. Her kind, brave, daring brother. He died some months ago. There had been a battle. Why was her little brother fighting? He was too young for that.
Tendrils of pale mist crept into the edges of her vision, playfully willing her to sleep.
Once she was gone, Daeron—her Daeron—would have a little brother, too. He would need a name as well—a strong name, a courageous name. When she was dead, he would need courage.
“Aenar.”
A strong name. With courage enough to forge a new beginning.
There. Names for her sons, the little princes.
With that last parting gift, she could close her eyes at last.
Goodbye, she tried to say.
I love you, my children.
Be kind to each other.
Love each other always.
Goodbye.
The mist filled her vision, illuminated by a distant light. It was cool, like a late spring morning. She did not hurt anymore. Did not feel anything but an overwhelming sense of peace.
The distant light faded.
The mist darkened.
Through it, she swore she could see grass-green eyes and hear the faraway cry of a babe.
She was still screaming. Good.
Screaming meant she was still alive. Screaming meant Alys was fulfilling her promise. Screaming meant that Aemond was racing back to his wife – his living, breathing, beloved wife – and not her corpse.
The door was still locked when he arrived—one final obstacle between him and his family.
No, not final. Far from it. The door was the only tangible thing keeping him from his wife and children, yes, but there was far more beyond it. The pain he caused her, the hatred his ābrazȳrītsos now surely felt for him, and the third child that would soon be born still kept them as far apart as the earth and stars.
They would get past it. They had to. They were siblings, husband and wife, now destined to become King and Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. They were meant for each other. The gods or fate or whatever else had made her for him and him for her.
They were two parts of the same whole, cleaved.
“Prince Aemond.”
Cregan Stark, the man who humiliated him and his wife mere hours ago, stood behind him. Aemond snarled. “Leave. Now.”
Stark stood strong and still. “You have been my enemy. You may be still, I have not decided. I have no admiration nor respect for you, my prince. In short, I do not like you.”
“Do you want me to kill you?” Aemond asked. He did not wish to greet his sons with blood-soaked hands, but if Stark didn’t close his fucking mouth –
“To lose the woman you love so dearly in this way… it is a pain I know all too well and one I would not wish on anyone. I have instructed all my men to pray for the Princess and the child, and I will join them soon. Negotiations will be postponed indefinitely.”
“I…” Perhaps Aemond had underestimated the brute, if he was a brute at all. And though he knew the prayers were unnecessary, gratitude still dulled his rage. “Thank you, Lord Stark.”
He simply inclined his head and walked away, leaving Aemond leaning against that godsdamned door, listening to nothing but the sound of his own panting breath.
Oh gods.
He froze.
The screaming was gone.
It was silent.
Was she dead?
Had Alys betrayed him?
He would kill her. He would tear her apart with his own hands and –
A child cried.
Then…
Oh, thank each and every god a thousand times over.
For then, Aemond heard his wife laughing.
“Princess?”
She always expected that the voice of the Father would be deep and smooth, but shouldn’t it be the Mother to greet her, given how she died? And shouldn’t the gods greet her by name, not her title?
“Princess, it is time to wake up,” the voice said again. “Open your eyes for me.”
Oh, her eyes were closed. She should open them.
The Heavens were not as bright as she imagined, nor as golden. They were dark and sparsely decorated and looked very much like –
“I am not dead?”
Maester Artos looked down at her and smiled. It reminded her of the few times she had seen her father smile at her, sparking a warmth in her chest she had not felt for years. She had not known she still remembered those smiles. “I am very happy to say you are not, your highness.”
“But, my son – ”
“He lives, too.”
It couldn’t be. After all the suffering of the past year, she could not believe it could be true. Loss had become a certainty, as sure as the sun rising each morning.
A babe cried, and she turned toward the sound. A young maid was wrapping an infant boy with a shock of white curls in a cobalt blue blanket. Daeron.
A different, softer cry came from the other end of the room. There, another boy with only a smattering of silver wisps atop his head was being gently cleaned by a Septa. Aenar.
Her sons – alive and well and here.
She threw her head back against the pillows and laughed.
She laughed with joy and relief, with eight months of eager waiting and sickness. She laughed with a body nearly dead, saved only by some miracle she did not understand. And she laughed with a heart that was both shattered and overflowing.
This was the moment she had dreamed of since she learned she was pregnant, since the moment she married Aemond. She had dreamed of this all her life. It was her destiny, even if it was vastly different from how she had dreamed it. For she was not at home in the Red Keep but within the cursed stones of Harrenhal. Her mother was not by her side but miles away. The family that was supposed to crowd around her and coo over the children were nearly all dead. And her husband…
“Let me in!” he shouted through the door, the wood pounding against stone as he threw himself against it. He had been doing that before, but she did not notice until now. It was so like him, the impatience and need to act, that she laughed again. “Ābrazȳrītsos! Is that you? Tell me you are safe!”
Taking her laughter as permission, Artos opened the door. It was mere heartbeats later that Aemond was upon the bed, his eye flitting over every inch of her, his hands roaming to try and locate something wrong, to stem blood that did not flow or relieve pain that did not exist.
“I’m fine,” she said, breathless. “I did it, lēkia, and I’m fine.”
“You did it?” He looked down at her in utter disbelief and joy before his eye drifted to the Maester. Tears slipped from his eye and caught the light of the setting sun. “She did it…”
Her gaze went to the maid that held her firstborn – the girl with eyes like her mother’s. Fitting, for her to be the one to hold him. But it was her turn. “Bring Daeron to me,” she ordered,” some strength at last returning to her voice. “I want to hold him.”
Aemond stared at her. “Daeron?”
Was he angry that she named their sons without him? She couldn’t quite tell. Her mind was still fuzzy, like the mist she had seen still lay over her, casting everything in a sweet, happy light. She shrugged. “There are already too many Aegons, so…”
He laughed. She had missed that sound – she loved it so dearly. He settled into the bed next to her, their bodies fitting together perfectly, like two halves of a broken plate. So many familiar feelings – the warmth of his arm around her, the rhythm of his heart, his lips kissing her temple in the gentle way that always sent shivers down her spine. Hadn’t her spine hurt not long ago? “Daeron is perfect.”
Indeed, he was absolutely perfect. So tiny and precious as he was put in her arms, looking up at his parents with wide lilac eyes. Neither she nor Aemond said anything as they beheld him, taking in each tiny, perfect detail. The wild curls of his silver hair. Each and every eyelash framing his bright eyes. The pink of his lips. Fingers and toes so wonderfully soft and small. A toothless smile that lit the world.
“He’s going to be king someday,” she realized aloud. How could someone so tiny rule an entire kingdom? He had a lot of growing to do before the Conqueror’s Crown would fit.
“A great king, I think,” Aemond mused. He held out a finger, and Daeron instinctively wrapped his hand around it. “Wise and strong. Daring, like his namesake.”
“He must be kind, too.”
“He will be,” Aemond assured, brushing out her damp, tangled hair with his fingers. The feeling was so familiar, but each touch had her flinching slightly. “We will raise him to be kind. His brother, too.”
“Aenar.”
Aemond stiffened. Had he forgotten they had another son, or did he not like the name she gave him? He pulled his finger back from his son’s fist to touch the babe’s hair. “The Exile?”
“I just thought…” Perhaps it had been a foolish name. But it had felt right when it came to her, when she was on the brink of death. “Our family needs a new beginning.”
“Yes… I suppose it does.” He kissed her again with slightly too much pressure. “Another fine name.”
She looked at the Septa that had been cleaning him. Maester Artos stood with her now, along with several other women, crowding so much she could not see the babe. “I want to hold him, too. Bring him to me.”
None of them moved. The room fell silent.
“Allow me just a moment longer, princess,” Artos said. His voice shook, and he would not look at her or Aemond. “I am still finishing my assessment of the boy.”
He’s dead, her mind insisted. They saved your life at the cost of his. He died because of you.
“No,” she whispered. “No, no, no.”
Daeron began fussing in her arms, disturbed by how she began to tremble. She failed one son by killing him, and now she was already failing as a mother to the one who survived. Aemond tightened his arm on her shoulders, pulling her closer as his free arm gently lifted their son into his own grasp.
He hushed her, ducking his head to press his cheek to hers. “Lykirī, ābrazȳrītsos. Izūgō daor īlo bēvili gō.” Calm, little wife. Do not panic before we have reason to.
“Kostan daor,” she whimpered. If Aenar was dead…
“Is he alive?” Aemond’s hand moved to shelter Daeron’s head as if to shield him from whatever danger or heartbreak lurked. She turned to press herself into him – into the safety of his arms.
Brother. Husband. Protector.
Why did the feel and scent of him no longer make her feel safe?
“Yes, my prince,” Artos answered.
“Will he remain that way?”
“Yes…”
“You could tell me he’s green-skinned and winged for all I care.” His arm curled protectively around her, but it did not comfort her. Rather, she bristled against it, the possessiveness of it. He did not notice. “He’s alive, and that’s enough. Bring him.”
Artos hesitated but obeyed, hastily wrapping the babe in a dark blanket.
He looked whole – unbroken. Aenar’s eyes were closed as the Maester placed him in her arms, but she could feel his warmth, his little heart beating, and the faint rise and fall of his chest. He only woke when a tear fell from her cheek onto his.
Even then, he did not cry. He only looked at his mother with bright eyes – the same shade of violet as his father's and brother’s. “Ñuha trēso,” she whispered, and he smiled. My son.
“Taobosa sylvȳse,” Aemond added. “He already recognizes the language of his ancestors. He will serve his brother well. Dārys sepār Ondoso zȳhon.” Wise boy. The King and his Hand.
They had two perfect sons. So why did Artos still look like that?
The Maester’s frown deepened. “I am afraid…” he cleared his throat. “It appears that the younger prince was injured during the birth.”
She examined him again but could find nothing wrong. He was perfect. Surely, Artos was mistaken.
“May I?” His large hand hovered over the edge of the blanket.
Her instinct was to pull away, to not let this man touch her son. Yes, he had saved both their lives, but he must be wrong now. Why should she let him make a problem where there was none?
She suppressed that instinct and allowed him to uncover Aenar’s right arm. Artos’ demeanor had made it seem as though something was horribly wrong – that the arm would be missing or deformed. But it was just an arm, small and plump and pale, with a splotch of reddish-purple covering the shoulder like a pauldron.
“It… is it a birthmark?” She brushed a thumb over it, the skin smooth but slightly raised. A birthmark wasn’t an injury, nor was it exceedingly unusual. There were several families where such a mark appeared on nearly every child born.
“Explain yourself, Artos,” Aemond hissed. He looked ready to tear the man to pieces. If he did, he would likely do so without even setting Daeron down.
With a sigh, Artos ran a finger down the length of Aenar’s arm. “Note how he gives no reaction.”
“So he is calm,” Aemond spat. “I fail to see the injury.”
“Do the same to the elder.” He repeated the touch. “Gently, my prince.”
Aemond obeyed with a scowl. The moment he touched the babe, Daeron squirmed and flailed his arm.
“But he looks fine.” She looked down at her second son, her wise boy, and held out a finger, as Aemond had with Daeron. Aenar’s left arm squirmed within its wrappings, but the right was still. She touched the arm, silently pleading with the gods for it to move, for that tiny hand to reach for her.
It remained still. A desperate noise escaped her. “What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” Aemond and Artos said in unison. Her husband attempted to pull her into his chest, but she pushed him away. An embrace could not fix this. Nothing could. He did not pursue her again.
“It is not uncommon among children born breech.” the Maester explained. “I have seen many such injuries and many even worse.”
Artos offered no sympathy or apologies, and she was thankful for it. There was nothing he could say to ease the pain of knowing that her son would never be whole, just like his father. But unlike Aemond, he was never even given the chance, wounded from his first breath. What would the people call him? ‘Prince Aenar One-Arm, son of King Aemond One-Eye?’
“What do we do?” She asked her husband, the Maester, the gods. Anyone who may have an answer.
Aemond’s face was drawn with grief – for his son and for himself. “He will adapt, as I did. I will ensure it. He will be stronger for this. I promise.”
I cannot trust your promises.
The thought was a sudden gale of icy wind scattering the lovely mist coating her mind into oblivion, leaving her with only stark, wicked reality and the faint memory of green eyes.
“How did I survive?”
Too quickly, Aemond turned to her, taking hold of her chin and pulling her close to him. “It does not matter, ābrazȳrītsos. All that does is that you are still with me. You and Aenar.”
If he wasn’t holding her firstborn, she would have shoved him from the bed.Liar. Liar. Liar.
I will fix this. he’d said before he left her. The pure, unrelenting anger she felt as she watched him leave had prevented her from considering what those words meant. Now, she could think of nothing else. What could he do? He was no midwife nor Maester. He had no knowledge of childbirth, beyond the few questions he’d asked of Orwyle months ago. What could he have done for her and Aenar except beg the help of another?
Of Alys.
Alys, who had eyes the color of fresh grass and possessed a dark magic that allowed her visions of the future. Was she also able to influence that future?
How?
At what cost?
What had Aemond promised her in exchange for their lives?
“No Maester wants to admit to ignorance,” Artos smiled sadly as Aenar continued to try to wriggle his left arm free of his blanket, “but I cannot explain it. All I can think is that the gods are kind to you, princess, and for that, I am glad.”
She could not look at him or any of the others in the room who watched her as if they could see the Mother’s hand upon her shoulder.
The gods weren’t kind. They were cruel to allow her to now owe her very life, and that of her son’s, to the two people who had destroyed her. Would she ever be able to look upon Aenar and not remember? To not feel her soul torn between unyielding hatred and infinite gratitude?
Yet, she had her life – and her sons. Surely anything was worth that.
Wasn’t it?
“I’m tired,” she said. The day had seemed to last a year, and the sun had not even set. “I want to rest now.”
After what she endured, no one argued.
His ābrazȳrītsos fell asleep mere moments after Daeron and Aenar were settled into their cradles. She did not even wake when Aemond lifted her so the servants could replace the soiled bedding. Just as she had so many times before, she tucked her face into his neck as they sat in the window, sighing contentedly. Now, he lay beside her in the bed, trying to memorize how it felt to have her in his arms.
When she woke, he knew she would never allow him to hold her like this again.
She knew. Somehow, his wife knew what he had done to ensure she and Aenar survived, and she would never forgive him for it for as long as she lived.
But she would live.
Aenar would live. Though he would bear the wounds of his father’s sins forever.
After his wife had fallen asleep, Maester Artos had told him that it would likely be necessary to amputate Aenar’s arm. The purple mark on his shoulder had grown, apparently indicating further bleeding within the limb. If it grew much more before morning, the arm would be removed before midday.
It was his fault, Aemond knew.
Alys had told him that in her visions, both boys had been healthy. But that was before his ābrazȳrītsos knew that he betrayed her. Before he brought her to this cursed place. Before he failed to stop her from meeting Alys and learning the full extent of his sins.
He only hoped Aenar would not grow to hate him for it.
For now, the boy slept in his crib, limp arm hidden beneath the dark blanket he was swaddled in. Aemond rose from the bed, moving closer to his son.
How peaceful he looked now, with the redness of his skin finally faded. He did not have as much hair as his older brother, but his was wilder - more reminiscent of his mother’s curls than his father’s straight locks. At least he had that part of her, if not the warm brown eyes Aemond had hoped for.
In the other cradle, Daeron fussed slightly, though he did not wake. It seemed he resented being confined within the tight swaddle of his blanket. The thought made Aemond smile, remembering how his younger brother once did the same. It faded quickly.
He had to go to Alys. To thank her for giving him his family - a kindness he did not deserve. To say goodbye to the child he would never meet. Another cost he would force himself to pay.
He had to go now, while his ābrazȳrītsos slept.
“Before our wedding,” he whispered, careful not to wake her as he approached, “I promised to hold you every night I could, that I would do anything to return to you when I was away. I have failed to uphold that promise, and for that, I am so sorry.”
When he stroked her cheek, she turned into his touch, a small smile upon her lips. Seeing that some unconscious part of her still reacted to him with love warmed his heart, even as the knowledge that her conscious mind would never allow her to do so felt like a dagger buried in his gut.
Aemond knelt at her side, basking in her beauty, memorizing her peaceful face. “Now, I swear my devotion again. I know you no longer wish for me to hold you, and I promise I will not try to persuade you otherwise. But I swear I will always be with you, to love and protect you, even if I must do it from a distance. I will never fail you again.”
It did not matter that she could not hear his vow. Even if she did, she would not believe him. But he made it anyway, for his own sake, and so the gods, wherever they may be, would hear him. It was to them he spoke next.
“Should I ever harm you again, I pray that the gods will strike me down where I stand. And if they do not, I shall do so myself.” He kissed her brow - the sealing of a promise and a farewell - and left.
A maid shrunk away as she passed Aemond in a corridor deep beneath Harrenhal, cradling the bundle of cloth she carried closer to her chest. It was one of the same maids who had tended to his wife—the young girl with deep brown eyes. She did not wear the clothing of a midwife, but the colors of her linen dress were similar. Perhaps a midwife in training.
Strange, then, for her to be here. Stranger still for her to be seemingly performing the duties of a laundress.
He glanced down at the bundle of cloth she carried and froze.
There was blood. Too much blood.
A young midwife, carrying bedlinens soaked with blood.
What would you sacrifice? Alys had asked.
Aemond ran.
He knew what he would find. There was no other explanation. Yet he still hoped and prayed he was wrong. Loss had followed him like a loyal dog for so long, but today it was banished. It must be.
Alys stood in front of her fire. One hand rested on a stomach that was not as distended as it had been only hours ago.
His wife’s stomach now looked very much the same.
“What did you do?” His voice shook with fear and guilt and shame. Gods, he felt so weak.
Her eyes, cold and distant, slid to his. “What you asked.”
“I didn’t ask you to…” This blood was on his hands - the blood of his child.
The word that had haunted him for more than a year - the word that had nearly led to the death of every person he ever loved - echoed in his mind.
Kinslayer.
Killer of his nephew. His uncle. His child.
Aemond looked back into the corridor, hoping to see the young midwife again. Had he not looked closely enough? Had she been carrying the body of his child within those bloody linens?
“I only wanted you to save my wife and son.” His words were a justification, a plea. It fell on the deaf ears of the gods and the dead child’s mother.
“And you thought there would be no cost?” Alys laughed, cruel and cackling. “No god in the world is so generous as to save a life and ask for nothing in exchange, boy.”
“I didn’t think – ”
“You never do.”
Grief morphed into anger. Reckless, aimless, dangerous rage. “You should have told me!”
“What would you have done?” She faced him fully now, her hand falling to her side. There was no trace of the woman who had once comforted and reassured him - who had kept him sane amidst the insanity of war. There was only annoyance and derision. It reminded Aemond of his dead half-sister and her bastard sons. “If I had told you?”
“I –”
“Would you have left your wife to die? Let her son die?” Alys’ lip curled in a hateful sneer. “You could not choose between wife and son, yet you believe you could have chosen between two sons?”
The world stopped. Only Alys’ flickering fire and burning eyes remained.
“I… it was a boy?” Aemond leaned against the wall, sliding down to his knees, savoring the scrape of the rough stone against his back. He deserved every bit of pain. More.
Alys let a single hint of sorrow slip through her cold façade. “It was. Three sons within a year. What your father would have given to have had the same.”
The last thing Aemond wanted to do was to think about his father. The king who had nearly destroyed his throne by choosing one child over another.
Gods, was he any better?
Did his ignorance of his son’s sacrifice absolve him of blame? The guilt?
It certainly didn’t feel like it.
Alys sighed. “Better for his death to mean something than for his life to be spent destitute and fatherless.”
“I would not have allowed that to happen,” Aemond said. It was a reflex, a reassurance he’d grown used to giving since he learned he seeded a bastard.
“Wouldn’t you? Perhaps if my visions had not changed. But now…” She shook her head, more exasperated than sorrowful. Did she mourn the child at all? “No. You’d have wanted us as far away as possible and done anything you could to not think of us.”
“I would have ensured your comfort.” The words felt as hollow as his chest.
“Your wife would, yes.” Alys smiled fondly, just as she had when his ābrazȳrītsos sat across from her earlier that very day. She had never smiled that way for Aemond. Never truly cared for him. He should have known. “She is kind-hearted. But not you. Your resentment of me, of us, would have festered until you found some way to be rid of us.”
He wanted to deny it. To say that there was nothing that could drive him to do what she insinuated. Once, it would have been true. But now, with the man he’d become in the war and how close he’d come to losing his heart itself, it would be a lie.
If he had killed Alys along with the rest of her cursed family, would he have become this man? Would he have learned to cherish the metallic tang of blood and its warmth as it coated his hands? Would he have become so proficient a liar that false words rolled off his tongue like a Valyrian lullaby? Would he have grown so accustomed to violence that it now came as naturally to him as loving his wife?
Would he have broken his ābrazȳrītsos’s heart?
He’d trusted her visions. It had been a mistake.
One mistake that led to thousands more, and it was all her fault.
Alys was the one who lied, who deceived him. Who had pulled his strings as if he were no more than a puppet, knowing that he was married and his wife was lonely and infirm.
His failure as a husband. His wife’s pain. The death of his third son.
Her fault. Her fault. Her fault.
Aemond’s heart slowed, his breathing becoming deep and steady. No longer the heart of a broken boy or a desperate husband. Now, it was the blackened heart that had carried him through countless battles and raging rivers of blood.
“I will be rid of you now,” he hissed as he stood. “And I will be rid of you forever.”
The bitch had enough sense to look scared.
“In memory of the son you killed, I will allow you to live. But no more than that.” She didn’t even deserve that, this woman who did not mourn her own child. Perhaps it was good that the babe was gone, for surely he would have suffered with a witch as his mother.
He approached Alys, sneering down at her and the false bravery on her wicked face. “As Prince Regent of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, I banish you from these lands forever. You have ten days to leave Westeros. After that, if you are ever seen here again…” He reached out and grabbed her by the throat, holding just tight enough to steal a bit of her breath - just enough to make her fight for it.
“I will kill you myself,” he promised. “Without hesitation or remorse, I will kill you. Slowly. And I will savor every moment, for it will bring me far greater pleasure than that withered cunt of yours ever did.”
She fell to her knees when he released her, clutching at her throat as she coughed and gulped for air. He didn’t care. He only turned on his heel and left, not sparing a single glance at the woman who had only hours ago been carrying his bastard child.
Only one woman mattered now, had ever truly mattered to him.
His ābrazȳrītsos was still asleep when he returned to their chamber, as were their sons. They had no idea where he had gone - that he had even left at all. No inkling of the fact that a moment ago, he had again become the man who wiped an entire bloodline from the earth, slaughtered tens of thousands, and delighted in the suffering he had wrought.
Now, as he leaned down to gently kiss his sons’ brows and muss their soft hair, he was a mere man of twenty, his heart bursting with love and affection for his family. How could a heart overflow with such love at the same moment it was fracturing with grief and regret?
It was a question far beyond him at that moment. Perhaps forever beyond his reach.
He was so tired. Too tired to consider the heartbreak that would come when he woke in the morning and his wife pulled out of his grasp. He could face that pain when it came. But now, he needed to feel whole, if only for a few hours.
So, Aemond climbed into bed with his wife, wrapping his arms around her and tugging her into his chest. He remained awake only long enough to kiss the top of her head and whisper, “Jāla tetan, ābrazȳrītsos. Īlon lentot selagon kosti.” It is over, ābrazȳrītsos. We can go home.
She woke to the sound of Daeron fussing. Strange how quickly she was able to tell them apart, even just by their little noises of discontentment. Although, considering she had been with them every moment of the last seven - near eight - months, it may not be strange at all. Perhaps that was why she felt so sure that it had been Daeron who occupied the top of her belly, constantly pestering her with his tiny fists pounding against her at the most inopportune times.
“Hush, little prince,” a soft voice said. “You’ll wake up your mother, and after what you and your brother put her through, I dare say she needs her rest.” A maid was speaking to him, a slight, old woman leaning over his crib. She had not seen the maid before, and somehow, it comforted her.
Daeron continued to grumble. She moved to stand but found Aemond’s arms wrapped around her waist. Thankfully, he was still asleep. Quite deeply asleep, apparently, for when she untangled herself from him, he did not wake.
The maid curtsied when she saw the princess approaching and stepped away from Daeron’s cradle. His fussing had now roused Aenar, but the younger prince made no sound, only glaring at his brother in what seemed to be intense displeasure at his sleep being interrupted.
“Is something wrong with him?” she asked the old maid. Daeron quieted slightly upon seeing his mother but still fussed.
“Nothing to concern yourself with, princess.” The old maid had a kind, soothing voice - that of a wise grandmother. She looked at the babes with fondness and a hint of apology. “They are simply hungry.”
“Where is the wetnurse?” She immediately regretted asking. In her sleepy haze, she had forgotten that Alys was the wetnurse at Harrenhal. Why wasn’t she here? Did she even want Alys here? No, of course she didn’t. Had Aemond requested another be found so she would not have to see Alys again?
The old maid looked away, sighing. “I’m afraid she’s left us. No wonder why, poor thing lost her babe again. Such a shame. We all thought she’d had a miracle with this one. But not to worry, Maester Artos sent some men to find another girl from the closest village.” She shook her head and again leaned over Daeron’s crib. “You’ll be fed soon, darling prince, don’t you worry.”
Alys’ child - Aemond’s child - was dead?
It was a good thing, wasn’t it? There would be no bastard son of the new king, no living reminder of what he’d done. This was good news. She should be happy, shouldn’t she?
But she wanted to cry.
“Mother, forgive me,” the old maid looked horrified as she clutched her pendant of the Seven-Pointed Star. “I should not have said that, princess. Not when you’ve only just finished your own labors. Please, forgive me.”
She glanced at Aenar, now peacefully asleep once more. How close she had come to losing him. It had devastated her. Made her willing to forfeit her own life if only he could live. If she had lost him and had to live with that loss… it would have driven her mad.
“How…” she licked her lips. “How many children has she lost?”
The old maid dropped her pendant. “I do not know, exactly. Enough that we all stopped counting.”
Oh gods. She blinked to clear her eyes, wiping away an errant tear with her thumb. “You said she’s gone?”
“Yes, princess. She left in the night. Didn’t say where she was going, to my knowledge.”
It made no sense. If Aemond had struck a bargain with Alys to save her and Aenar’s lives, why would she leave? Had whatever he offered her not been enough to keep her in the place where she’d lost so many children?
Daeron cried again, his face reddened and wrinkled. He was so hungry, she could nearly feel it herself. She… she could feel it. When she looked down at herself, she saw two dark stains on her chemise right above her breasts. Her milk had finally come in, which meant -
“I can feed them.”
The old maid looked aghast. “Princess, there is no need - ”
“I want to do it.” She was their mother, why shouldn’t she be the one to feed them? It was her body that made them, that brought them into the world. It made sense that it would continue to care for them even now. “Can you show me how?”
It took a moment for the maid to close her mouth before she smiled gently. “I’ve raised nine children myself, princess. I think I know a few tricks.”
The maid had gone by the time Aemond woke.
Daeron was still suckling at her left breast while Aenar had fallen asleep using the right as his pillow. She had not realized how heavy and uncomfortable they had felt until the boys had drunk from her, easing the pressure that she’d become accustomed to.
“You should not be doing that yourself,” Aemond muttered as he raised himself on an elbow. His eye darted from son to son, only ever glancing over her exposed breasts. Once, he loved to worship them, quite similarly to how his sons fed from her now. “Where is the wetnurse?”
Did he not know that Alys had left? Had no one told him of the death of his child?
No. Those were the faint remnants of tear tracks lining his cheeks, and there was a deep sadness in his eye that was not there when he held his sons for the first time. He knew. He knew, and he was grieving, though he was fighting to hide it. She still saw it.
Perhaps that was the real reason he never returned to King’s Landing during the war - he knew she would be able to see the guilt on his face.
“There is no other wetnurse,” she explained gently. “Alys left. They’re looking for another woman now.”
Aemond froze, his gaze growing distant. She could not decipher his expression. Rage? Guilt? Sorrow? Grief?
“I’m sorry, Aemond.” He frowned and shook his head, but she continued. “Truly, I am.”
“It’s better this way,” he whispered. He didn’t believe it. Neither did she.
He reached out to her. No, not to her, but to Aenar, gently stroking his hair. She allowed him to take the babe and hold him against his own chest.
Aenar opened his eyes and looked up at his father. Then, he smiled.
Aemond took in a deep breath. “That boy should never have existed,” he said, letting Aenar take hold of his thumb and mouth at it. “I already had what I needed. And wanted.”
So it was a boy. Another son. A brother for her own. Would he have had his father’s nose, as Daeron did? Or his stern brow, like Aenar? Gods, why did she care?
“You are allowed to mourn him. He was innocent. I bear him no ill will.” Bastard or no, a babe was a babe, blameless of his parents’ sins. Deep in her heart, she mourned him, as well.
Again, Aemond shook his head. “I cannot mourn what never should have been.” He turned his head to face her, face open and pleading. “And I am mourning too much already.”
“I am alive. Aenar is alive. There is nothing to mourn.”
“You know that is not what I mean, ābrazȳrītsos.”
She did. He mourned not for the loss of a life, but for the loss of their life. The life they should have shared, and would have, had Aemond not strayed. In truth, she mourned for it, too.
“I know.”
They sat in silence for a moment as Daeron finally finished feeding, stretching his little arms to push her breast away. She pulled her robe closed again to combat the chill.
Aemond raised a hand to help her. She flinched away. He winced in response.
“Ābrazȳrītsos, please.” His voice was already breaking, his eye watering. The sight should have tugged at her heart. His begging should have fanned the flames of her anger. But looking at him, she felt very little of anything, save a small seed of pity. “Alys is gone. My… the bastard is gone. Can we not return to the way we were? Pretend none of this ever happened? Can’t you forgive me at last?”
The answer came without hesitation.
“No, Aemond.”
Within her, there was no longer a grassland, barren with loneliness and despair. The never-ending field of raging fire had also vanished. In its place was a small, lush garden, safely contained within tall stone walls draped with flowers and a polished iron gate – locked firmly, but perhaps not sealed forever.
“I shall always be your sister, your blood, and the mother of your children.” Daeron cooed, as if he knew she was talking about him, and she could not help but smile down at him. “I will remain your wife in the eyes of gods and men. And when Aegon dies, I will be your faithful queen.”
Aemond shook as his breath quickened, failing to keep the heartbreak. “You will be a wonderful queen, ābrazȳrītsos. I know it.”
She pulled away, taking Aenar from him and into her empty arm. “But I will never again be your ābrazȳrītsos.” She forced herself to ignore the whimpering, broken cry that escaped him, the breath that carried it echoing like a death rattle. “I will not share your bed. And I will no longer allow you to hold my heart.”
Between desperate sobs, Aemond raised his head to face her. Utter devastation lay in his eye, but so too did acceptance. Anguished surrender. “My heart is and always shall be yours.”
I don’t want it, her mind told her, even as her heart cried, I will cherish it forever.
But her decision was made. In all but name, their marriage – their once legendary romance – was finished. A few fragments of love remained but would never be repaired. Could never be.
Slowly, she rose from the bed, her sons still in her arms. Aemond began to reach for her, but when she did not even acknowledge him, he covered his face with his hands and wept. Though it tugged at her heart, it was the same she would feel for any man weeping so, no longer the instinctive pull of a wife. She did not comfort him.
The soft, pitiful sounds of Aemond’s grief faded as she walked toward the eastern window, settling herself in the cushioned seat just beneath it.
Daeron smiled, watching the trembling branches of an oak tree dotted with the first tight green buds of the season. Aenar angled his head just so, until the sun warmed every bit of his fat, pink face, then promptly fell asleep. She sighed, taking in the sweet scent of spring on the wind, and realized she had not breathed so easily in months.
It was a lovely morning in Harrenhal.
#aemond#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond fanfic#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond imagine#aemond fluff#aemond one eye#aemond smut#aemond the kinslayer#aemond x reader#aemond x you#aemond x y/n#aemond x fem!reader#hotd#hotd aemond#hotd fanfic#hotd smut#hotd imagine#hotd x reader#house of the dragon#house of the dragon fanfic#ewan mitchell#what is broken
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♥︎Pick a picture: 🐇🩵What guides do you want to hear right now?🩵🐇
•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3
❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️
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🐇Masterlist🐇
🩵Pile 1: Queen of Swords, Ace of Swords and 4 of Pentacles.
It is essential that you start to trust yourself more. You have incredible potential that can take you far and help you achieve all those dreams you long for. However, sometimes you put obstacles in your way that prevent you from moving forward. It is time for you to realize that those limits are only mental and that you can overcome them.
Take a moment to clear your mind and focus on what you really want to achieve. If you put in the effort and work hard, you will see that you can achieve your goals. But it is also essential that you believe in your abilities and talents. Self-confidence is key to being able to show the world what you can really offer.
You have a personality that can shine and attract others, you just need to put aside those doubts that hold you back. Instead of getting stuck in your thoughts, start embracing your charisma and showing it without fear. Remember that you have everything you need to succeed, so go ahead, you can do it!
🩵Song:
🪻Pile 2: The Hanged Man, 5 of Pentacles and 2 of Wands.
There are a lot of positive things coming your way. All the hard work you've been doing is going to pay off, so don't get discouraged. It's normal to feel a little frustrated or exhausted right now, but it's important to keep an optimistic attitude, because what you've been wanting so much is just around the corner.
You will achieve great things and people around you will notice. However, it's essential that you stay grounded and don't forget your roots. Humbleness is key on this path, and remember that every step you take brings you closer to your goals. Your effort and dedication will not go unnoticed, and that's something you should celebrate. You have a voice that resonates strongly and has the potential to inspire many. I'm sure you'll soon see the impact you can have on others, and it may be sooner than you imagine. So keep going, keep faith in yourself and your abilities, because the best is yet to come and you deserve to enjoy every moment of this journey.
🪻Song:
🎀Pile 3: King of Cups, Knight of Pentacles and 3 of Cups.
It's time for you to take a break and celebrate everything you've achieved so far. It's essential that you find a space of calm in your life, where you can focus on the here and now. You may feel a little confused right now, as if you're not clear about where you're going, but in reality, that's part of the process. Life has its ups and downs, and sometimes, getting a little lost is what allows us to rediscover our path.
I feel that taking advantage of these moments of calm can be very. It is in these moments of reflection that you can connect with your true desires and passions, discovering what really motivates you and what you want to do throughout your life. So, instead of worrying about what is to come, allow yourself to enjoy this journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
Remember that not everything has to be resolved immediately. Sometimes, answers come when we least expect them, and situations tend to fall into place naturally. So relax and trust that everything will fall into. Enjoy every step you take, every small achievement, and don't worry so much about the future; the important thing is to live in the present and learn from every experience that comes your way.
🎀Song:
🩵🐇Thanks for reading and tell me if it resonated 🐇🩵
#astrology placements#zodiac#astro community#astrology#astro blog#astro notes#astro news#astro observations#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarot and astrology#tarot witch#tarot spread#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot tumblr#tarot#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a pile#pick a card#pick an image#pac readings#pac tarot#paid tarot readings#paid services#tarot tips#pic a card reading#pick one#channeled messages
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SSR Silver - Platinum Jacket Voice Lines
When Summoned: So, this is the Land of Dawning National Art Museum. This should be the perfect place to work on my imagination.
Summon Line: I am not an art aficionado, but as I have been tasked with being a supporter, I will fulfill this duty to the best of my abilities. I hope to not disappoint.
Groooovy!!: No matter the opponent, one must stand and face them undaunted... I want to become the kind of person capable of that.
Home: A 100th Anniversary, hm. How joyous.
Home Idle 1: It seems Jade also goes into the mountainside often. As I listened to his commentary on a painting of a mountain landscape, I couldn't help but recall my own training memories.
Home Idle 2: Were you able to buy a souvenir? Kalim went and purchased everything they had on display, so I'm pleased to see they were able to replenish their stock in time...
Home Idle 3: Even someone not as well-versed in art, like me, can tell how spectacular these works are. I can also feel just how much unyielding effort was required to create each one.
Home Idle - Login: The Land of Dawning National Art Museum must require a large security detail... Otherwise they wouldn't be able to eliminate all possible blind spots of such a grand venue.
Home Idle - Groovy: It is thanks to Azul that I've thought of another good way to train myself. I'll have to look into making a board game as soon as I can.
Home Tap 1: This outfit is much too dazzling. When I wear it, I become silver from head to toe... It suits me? Well, that's good then.
Home Tap 2: Sculpting not only requires a good artistic sense, but also the muscle strength and stamina to carve heavy stone or wood. I bet it would be a good training method.
Home Tap 3: Epel was telling me just how cool he found the heroes depicted in the paintings. I can empathize with his feelings.
Home Tap 4: I hear that the Lord of the Underworld was pretty loquacious. I'd like to learn how to be more like him, but I'm not sure what kind of training I should do to become a more capable speaker.
Home Tap 5: It is said that the Sea Witch could captivate people with her beautiful singing voice. It would be nice to listen to one of her songs to hear what it was like.
Home Tap - Groovy: Sorry, I just feel a little sleepy... Hm, you'll let me rest on your shoulder? No, that's not what... I need you to wake me... Zzz...
Duo: [SILVER]: Azul, I am counting on you. [AZUL]: I shall live up to the trust you've put in me, Silver-san.
Birthday Login Message: [Yuu]? You came to celebrate my birthday? Thank you. Whenever I receive such warm regards, not only do I feel the gifted kindness, but also I feel a need to hold myself straighter. I vow to continue to be someone worthy enough to be celebrated by everyone.
Requested by @dida-books.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst silver#azul ashengrotto#twst azul#twst translation#twst birthday#mention: jade#mention: kalim#mention: azul#mention: epel
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Propaganda
María Félix (Doña Barbara, La Mujer sin Alma, Rio Escondido, La Cucaracha)—Maria Felix is still possibly the most well-known Mexican film actress. She turned down multiple-roles in Hollywood and a contract with Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer in order to take roles in Mexico, France, and Argentine throughout the 1940s, 50s, 60s. She was so famous and so respected as a dramatic actress that she inspired painters, novelists and poets in their own art--she was painted by Diego Rivera, Jose Orozco, Bridget Tichenor. The novelist Carlos Fuentes used her as inspiration for his protagonist in Zona Sagrada. She inspired an entire collection by Hermes. In the late 1960s Cartier made her a custom collection of reptile themed jewels. She considered herself to be powerful challenger of morality and femininity in Mexico & worldwide--she routinely played powerful women in roles with challenging moral choices and free sexuality. But even still, years after he death, she is celebrated with Google Doodles, and appearances in the movie Coco, and holidays for the anniversary of her death.
Julie Andrews (The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins)—Oh where to start .... I'm not sure I even know how. She's just perfection. And it's not fair I can't bring post 70s work into this, because she just gets better and better, and her drag performance in to die for. But in the era I CAN talk about, she shows she has THE RANGE. Beautiful, feisty, funny, holding her own against Christopher Plummer, Paul Newman, Rock Hudson. Oh she's luminous.
This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
María Félix:
She's Thee Hot Vintage Movie Woman of México. She's absolutely gorgeous and always looks like she's about to step on you. you WILL be thankful if she does.
"María Félix is a woman -- such a woman -- with the audacity to defy the ideas machos have constructed of what a woman should be. She's free like the wind, she disperses the clouds, or illuminates them with the lightning flash of her gaze." - Octavio Paz
María Félix is one of the most iconic actresses of the Golden Era of Mexican Cinema. La Doña, as she was lovingly nicknamed, only had one son, and when her first marriage ended in divorce her ex-husband stole her only child, so she vowed that one day she’d be more influential than her ex and she’d get her son back. AND SHE DID! María Félix rejected a Hollywood acting role to start her acting career in Mexico on her own terms with El Peñón de las Ánimas (The Rock of Souls) starring alongside actor, and future third husband, Jorge Negrete. She quickly rose to incredible heights both in Mexico and abroad, later on rejecting a Hollywood starring role (Duel in the Sun) as she was already committed to the movie Enamorada at the planned filming time. Of this snubbing she said, quote: “I will never regret saying no to Hollywood, because my career in Europe was focused in [high] quality cinema. [My] india* roles are made in my country, and [my] queen roles are abroad.” (Translator notes: here the “india” role means interpreting a lower-class Mexican woman, usually thought of indigenous/native/mixed descent —which she had interpreted and reinvented throughout her acting career in Mexico— and what abroad was typically considered the Mexican woman stereotype, with the braids, long simple skirts, and sandals. This also references the expectation of her possibly helping Hollywood in perpetuating this stereotype for American audiences that lack the cultural and historical contexts of this type of role which would undermine her own efforts against this type of Mexican stereotypes while working in Europe) She was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world of her time by international magazines like Life, París Match, and Esquire, and was a muse to a vast number of songwriters (including her second husband Agustin Lara,), artists, designers, and writers. Muralist Diego Rivera described her as “a monstrously perfect being. She’s an exemplary being that drives all other human beings to put as much effort as possible to be like her”. Playwriter Jean Cocteau, who worked with her in the Spanish film La Corona Negra (The Black Crown) said the following about her, “María, that woman is so beautiful it hurts”. Haute Couture houses like Dior, Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, Balenciaga, Hérmes, among others, designed and dressed her throughout her life. She died on her birthday, April 8, 2002, at 88 years old, in Mexico City. She was celebrated by a parade from her home to the Fine Arts Palace in the the city’s Historic Downtown, where a multitude of people paid tribute to her. Her filmography includes 47 movies from 1942 until 1970, and only two television acting roles in 1970. She has 2 music albums, one recorded with her second husband, Agustín Lara, in 1964 titled La Voz de María y la inspiración de Agustín «The voice of María and the inspiration of Augustín», and her solo album Enamorada «In Love» in 1998. Her bespoke Cartier jewelry is exhibited alongside Elizabeth Taylor’s, Grace Kelly’s and Gloria Swanson’s. In 2018, Film Director Martin Scorsese presented a restored and remastered version of her film Enamorada in the Cannes Classics section of the Cannes Festival and Google dedicated a doodle for her 104th birthday. On august 2023 Barbie added her doll to the Tribute Collection.
Julie Andrews propaganda:
"She has such a simple but amazing beauty to her. Not to mention her amazing and melodic singing voice!"
"Roles like nannies and governesses can make us forget how attractive she was! A perfect combination of elegant and adorable, with the most incredible vocal range to boot!"
"Besides having one of the most amazing singing voices ever to grace the silver screen, Julie always had an understated beauty to her that wasn't always shown off on screen. But it's there nonetheless because her characters managed to pull some of the hottest men ever to grace the screen."
"The juxtaposition between carefree Maria and stern but fun Mary Poppins shows the power of the acting of this HOT VINTAGE MOVIE WOMAN"
"Charming, genteel, incredibly charismatic, beautiful, and has an angelic singing voice to boot. Her screen roles as Maria in The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins are absolutely iconic for a reason and she originated several well-known Broadway roles before those."
"the most beautiful woman 12 year old me had ever seen possibly"
"OMG OMG OMG she’s definitely been submitted before how could she NOT but!!!! I loveeee her so muchhhh rahhhh prebby!!!! cool!!!! mary poppins the beloved <33333 some people dislike it but I love jolly holiday so much because it IS a jolly holiday with Mary!!! no wonder that it’s Mary that we love!!!!!"
"I know many people who were taught in singing lessons "when in doubt, pronounce words how julie andrews would pronounce them." THATS CALLED INFLUENCE. THATS CALLED MOTHERING THOUSANDS."
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Composite Chart #2
🌿 Rising in Composite Part 1 🌿
The Composite chart, which is effective after meeting a person and is formed by calculating the common points of the positions in the charts of the two people, is the chart that many astrologers (and me too) often use. One of the things you need to know at a basic level is what sign your ascendant is in and what it means. (In one of my previous posts I talked about what houses can mean in general, if you want to read it: #1 ) Let's now examine what the rising between Aries and Virgo mean, the identity of the relationship and how the relationship visibly looks from the outside…
》Aries Rising《
There's a strong drive to initiate new experiences and ventures together.
Both individuals may value their independence and individuality within the relationship.
A competitive spirit may be present.
There's a direct and assertive communication style within the relationship. Both individuals are likely to express their needs and desires openly and assertively.
Aries Ascendant can signify a love for physical activity and exercise. Engaging in physical activities together can strengthen the bond between the partners.
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》Taurus Rising《
Both individuals value reliability and consistency in their partnership.
There's an inclination towards creating a comfortable and harmonious home environment together. Both partners may prioritize material comforts and may work together to build a solid financial foundation.
Both partners are grounded in reality and prefer to take a pragmatic approach to handling day-to-day affairs.
They are willing to invest time and effort into nurturing the relationship and overcoming any difficulties that arise.
Both partners may enjoy indulging in good food, luxurious surroundings, and other sensory experiences together.
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》Gemini Rising《
Relationship may involve a lot of social interaction and networking.
The individuals may enjoy teasing each other, engaging in witty banter, and finding joy in the small pleasures of life.
The individuals to express themselves in diverse ways within the relationship.
The individuals may enjoy a dynamic and versatile partnership that fosters mutual growth, understanding, and appreciation for each other's unique qualities.
They may share a curiosity for knowledge, enjoy engaging in deep conversations, and have a mutual appreciation for each other's intellect.
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》Cancer Rising《
They may feel a strong emotional bond and a sense of closeness to each other, with an intuitive understanding of each other's feelings and needs.
Relationship may center around domestic life and familial connections. They may prioritize spending time together at home, creating a sense of warmth and security within their shared space.
They may form a close-knit unit, offering each other emotional support and security in times of need.
The individuals are likely to be caring, compassionate, and empathetic towards each other's needs.
There may be a strong intuitive connection between the individuals, allowing them to understand each other's feelings without the need for words.
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》Leo Rising《
They may enjoy being in the spotlight together and may attract attention wherever they go.
The relationship may be characterized by acts of generosity, kindness, and warmth, as the individuals strive to make each other feel special and valued.
They may enjoy celebrating each other's achievements and milestones, fostering a sense of mutual admiration and respect.
The individuals may take on leadership roles within the relationship.However, you should keep in mind that there is one feature to watch out for. Because in this leadership role, frictions/discussions will be inevitable.
Inspiring each other to shine brightly and embrace life with enthusiasm and zest.
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》Virgo Rising《
The individuals may pay close attention to the finer points of their interactions, striving for perfection and efficiency in their communication and activities.
They offering practical assistance and guidance to help each other grow and succeed.
The individuals may be down-to-earth.
They may work together harmoniously, supporting each other's goals and aspirations while maintaining a grounded and realistic approach to life.
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Part 2 🌿 is coming soon...
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#astrology#astro#astro observations#natal chart#mercury#venus#mars#moon#saturn#synastry#composite chart#ascendant#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#leo#virgo#rising#composite ascendant#composite aries rising#composite taurus rising#composite gemini rising#composite cancer rising#composite leo rising#composite virgo rising#composite observations
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what happens with the kids? l Max Verstappen x reader
a/n: *sigh* I'm so done with this season bc I just know we'll be getting the same podium every other career and my tifosi dreams are just crumbling... also can we please just talk about that driver introduction like?????
anyway, this is based on this request I got the other day! thank you for requesting and sorry it takes me so long write the requests, but uni is kicking my ass <3
genre: angst oop
pairing: Max Verstappen x female reader. Lando Norris x reader but not serious.
warnings: divorce, kids, not proofread.
summary: Max really didn't have to find a girlfriend that soon after the divorce, and the fact that his girlfriend had a daughter of her own, didn't really help your case.
It's safe to say you never really saw it coming. or maybe you did, but tried to ignore it as Mila and Luca had just celebrated their third birthday, with the second half of the season looming over your household, Max said the the words you never thought you'd hear.
I think we need some time apart to figure out some stuff.
At first you didn't really process it. Why would you possible need time apart? The twins were so young, you needed all the help you could get and things were good.
That's what you thought.
He said it was hard to continue your marriage if you couldn't keep him company or support him the way you used to, before having kids. Maybe he was oblivious to the disbelief showing on your features, trying to comprehend if he really needed to be reminded of your two young children, who had strict hours. You didn't feel the need to remind him that just three weeks ago Mila had to go to the emergency room for an allergic reaction, and a week before that, Luca was questioning you about why his dad wasn't around as much.
Max rubbed his left hand on the nape of his neck, obviously trying to ignore this part of the conversation, seeing as you eyes became teary and your eyes tried to find his blue ones, but he avoided them at all costs.
Then, it was time to bring the kids to a race, Austria to be specific. It was strange to walk without him on the so familiar space, holding Luca and Mila's hands, making your way to the Red Bull hospitality where Max was supposedly waiting for his family.
During the walk, you were greeted by most people from every team; engineers fist bumping the twins, Lando and Max Fewtrell giving you a side hug before trying to talk with Luca and Mila. Yet, when you reached your finishing point, Christian Horner's eyes opened widely, like his mind was trying to process something.
The Red Bull team principal was clearly distressed as he walked towards the three of you, greeting you as usual, but offering to take the twins for a quick tour, telling you there was a new snack bar the engineers had created and they should get to know it.
It didn't take long to realize the brit knew something you didn't.
A feeling you couldn't explain sank on your stomach. Your cheeks were already flushed, palms turned sweaty and suddenly your subconscious was trying to convince yourself that it couldn't be that bad, whatever it was. The world shook and your vision slowed down when you noticed a gorgeous black-haired woman, leaning against your husband as he laughed at something she said.
Your trembling legs managed to silently take a step back, trying to hold back the tears as you left the room, watching as Christian was still entertaining the twins, following you as the kids noticed you.
"Christian, can you please call Max to tell him we're here?" Somehow, with some divine strength, you were able to get the words out, ignoring Christian's glare as if he was trying to ask if you were okay.
In a matter of seconds, Max had joined you, receiving Mila and Luca with open arms. He wasn't aware of the fact that you already knew the reason he wanted a time off wasn't because he didn't get to see you, or that you couldn't make the effort to travel with the kids.
No.
Just as Christian had suggested, the kids went with him as Max directed your way to a secluded space. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it sure wasn't "I want a divorce"
He blinked. Once. Twice. "What do you mean you want a divorce?"
A snicker left your lips, was he trying to play dumb? You knew Max Verstappen as the palm of your hand. You knew him better than yourself.
You didn't need to see him kissing the black-haired woman, or holding hands, or even touching her.
Max's eyes, your husband's eyes, expressed everything you needed to know.
It wasn't important that he berated you for dropping this news right before Red Bull's home race, that his eyes tried to find yours but were unable to, as your crossed your arms as if that would protect you from the heartbreak and sudden change of plans; from a happy couple, a merry marriage and joyous family, to a life of weekends separated, of preparing their bags on Friday night, of being civil for the sake of the twins during their birthday...
And because you knew him so well, the relief that flashed through his blue eyes didn't pass unnoticed by you, because it wasn't him who said the words. He was guilty, but he didn't take the shot.
Your girlfriends always joked about his friends always were the first ones to reach out after a break up, making you laugh until text messages and Instagram DMs started rolling in: Red Bull engineers and mechanics, Lando Norris, Martin Garrix, among others.
Hey! I heard about you and Max, just wondering if you are okay and want to meet up some time?
It didn't take long to accept one of their offers, having messy nights with a British driver and multiple people from the paddock, but it was never meant to be more. and it absolutely wasn't, but it was early Sunday when the concierge called to inform the arrival of Max and the twins. Of course you didn't hear, Lando's body pressed against you as his soft snores invaded the bed you once shared with Max.
and obviously, Max being as restless as always, decided to just take the direct elevator to the penthouse overlooking Monte-Carlo. That's what made Lando open his eyes, very widely, as you hastily walked him towards the walk-in closet so that he could get dressed and not be seen or heard by Max.
Not that it mattered, but you were capable of putting family peace in front o making your ex-husband jealous.
"Hello my sweets!" Mila and Luca made their way into your arms, not caring about their backpacks making things a bit uncomfortable. "Did you have a good weekend?"
Luca started blabbering about papa's new place, the dishes Max's girlfriend cooked for them, and the incredible time they both had with Sara, the daughter of Max's girlfriend. There obviously was a bond between the three children, both arguing about how Sara liked them more than the other.
Max hadn't had the time to greet you or ask about your weekend, his gaze fixing on an orange hat.
"Since when do you own McLaren merch?" Max questioned you, pointing the foreign object, the logo being unusual on the household.
Ignoring how your heart skipped a beat, feigning ignorance your body turned to where Max's finger was pointing. "Oh, I don't know? I think someone gave it to me at one of the races. Long time ago, though."
That's when both Max and you noticed the twins were gone, probably on their bedroom unpacking or searching the kitchen.
Max took a couple of breaths, his eyebrows scrunched and eyes trying to find yours, not even attempting to hide his feelings. "Are you hooking up with someone from McLaren, (Y/N)?"
Your eyes widened, then took a step back trying to see if you heard him right. "Why would you even ask me that?"
Max shrugged; "I have a right to know, in case they end up sharing time with M and Luca. I can't control how everything works during the week so I'd like to be kept in the loop."
This time it struck like lightning, the fury and anger and disillusion your heart was carrying. "You have no right, Max. Absolutely no fucking right to be kept in the loop about what goes on in my life,"
Max didn't flinch at your tone, "I didn't say about your life, I'm aware that we are divorced, I'm talking about Mila and Luca,”
"I always think of them, they're the first thing on my mind when I wake up, and the last thing when I go to sleep. They're always on my mind and never leave, and I would never do anything to hurt them or even cause them the tiniest bit of disappointment. You have no right to come here and tell me you want to know about what goes on in here, because you are the one who chose to leave us in the first place," You vented, with Max's blue eyes fixed on you he was trying to keep his composure, but you knew he was uncomfortable.
"We are not having this conversation now, (Y/N). It's over, now it's just about the kids," Max added with a slight roll of his eyes.
"When are we having this conversation, then? When are you going to tell me that you wanted to separate because there was someone else already? that I wasn't enough for you? not even our kids were enough to make you doubt your decision to leave me, and it feels terrible and I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to feel the same because I'm shattered, Max." The words felt like someone was ripping your heart out of your chest, leaving you vulnerable as the thoughts became real, they were out there, but then it was followed by a bittersweet relief of not holding back anymore.
He noticed the tears and hiccups as you tried to make the point. His eyelids trembled as his hands meant to reach out to yours, pull your body to his, squeeze your waist and kiss your hair while assuring everything was going to be just fine.
That was the moment he realized that wasn't his place anymore, probably would never be again. Max didn't even think about that while signing the divorce papers, he didn't bother to show up to anything, sending a lawyer to do whatever was needed, and now it was hitting him like a ton of bricks.
His realization was cut short as the kids came running, Luca placing the McLaren hat on his head, ignoring Mila's voice telling him it wasn't daddy's team.
"I think this is when you leave, Max,"
You managed to keep your voice from quavering and erasing every trace of a tear, telling the kids to say goodbye to Max.
Yeah, this wasn't what Max had in mind for his Sunday morning.
#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen au#max verstappen#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen angst#max verstappen x you#f1 x you#lando norris x reader#max verstappen blurb
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You Haven’t Seen My Man || Kendall Roy
Summary: Being Kendall Roy's wife involves giving up some things. However, working with you involves understanding that sometimes you may end up drawing more attention than he would like. But this is not really a problem for someone who loves to prove to be powerful all the time. Warnings: Cute, spicy with hints of implicit control - Word count: 8.3k
You were married now, but the story that united you was far from conventional or romantic. His brother and Kendall met in a rehabilitation clinic, sharing not only the fight against addiction, but also the weight of being heirs always pressured to prove their worth. The friendship between them was natural, and you, as a frequent visitor, became part of that bond. At the time, she hid that she worked as a legal advisor at Waystar, aware that the connection with the Roys could complicate things.
When both were discharged, you organized a celebration. It was that night that you and Kendall began to get closer. What seemed like an unpretentious friendship evolved into something more. You have become colleagues, friends and, finally, boyfriends. They were difficult years, marked by relapses of both and by Kendall's constant effort to get back up. Despite this, you remained together, supporting each other.
But the night Kendall asked you to marry him brought a devastating turn. You left dinner overflowing with joy to tell your brother the news, but you found him unconscious in your apartment. The overdose was fatal. What should be a new beginning also became the end of an important part of his life.
The devastating loss increased the pressure of your father, who wanted you to take on the role of CEO of the family business, something you always avoided. He also showed support for his marriage to Kendall, but his real intentions involved uniting families to strengthen his power, which filled her with revolt. Since then, you have kept your distance from your family, although his pressure has never ceased.
Kendall remained by your side, putting her own pain aside to help you get through the grief. Although the loss has never been completely overcome, it has become more bearable in the company of someone who understood the weight of carrying difficult memories.
When they got married, the lives of both fit in a surprisingly quiet way, considering the chaos that surrounded them. You chose to stay out of the power dispute at Waystar, which helped maintain the balance between work and marriage. Still, working under the same roof, with Kendall technically as his boss, brought challenges. Some tensions inevitably overflowed to domestic life, but you learned how to deal with it.
That morning was a perfect example of the controlled chaos that you and Kendall had learned to master. Since Logan's death, Waystar had become an arena of constantly burning egos, with Kendall, Shiv and Roman competing to make decisions while sewing the deal with Lukas Matsson. For you, the frenetic pace was nothing new. But that day, it seemed that everything was amplified.
Kendall had left early, leaving you with some precious minutes in bed that, although comforting, ended up devoured by the avalanche of messages and notifications on her cell phone. When he arrived at the office, he was already one step behind, and this did not go unnoticed. He didn't even have time to spend in Roman's room, where he and Lukas were gathered. Not that you wanted to get more involved than necessary - your role there was more strategic, and you knew exactly when to withdraw and when to act.
While packing the pile of papers I would need to discuss with Kendall, the phone on his desk vibrated. It was a message from him with a typical urgency. You sighed, already gathering what you needed, while answering a call from an external lawyer who seemed unable to understand something simple.
The heels of your shoes hit rhythmically against the carpet as you crossed the corridor. The sound echoed in the open spaces of the floor, a clear sign of his haste. In that environment, everyone seemed to be always watching each other, like animals in a corporate zoo.
When passing through Roman's room, he noticed Lukas gesturing at a glance, but did not pay attention. It was no news that he was there. Inside, Lukas interrupted the sentence itself when you passed, his eyes fixed on you long enough for Roman to notice.
- When I buy all this shit, will I have assistants like her? - Lukas shot, a cheeky smile curling his lips as his gaze lingered in the direction where you had just disappeared. The malicious insinuation was clear in every word.
Roman swallowed dryly, the discomfort evident in his expression. I knew Lukas well enough to know that giving any information would only increase his interest. But I couldn't just ignore it either. He needed to stop talking.
- Man, trust me, you wouldn't handle her. - Roman said, launching his typical mixture of humor and sarcasm. - She sees beyond the walls. You probably already know what you think before you open your mouth. It's fucking scary.
Lukas let out a short laugh, but Roman's comment didn't totally disarm him. His thoughts were still stuck in the image of you crossing the office, his hips moving with a grace that seemed almost calculated.
He knew he shouldn't be distracted, not at that moment, but something in you bothered him. It wasn't just the appearance - it was the aura of control, of someone who knew exactly what he was doing.
As Lukas turned his attention to the meeting, the malicious smile did not completely disappear. Maybe it was an exaggeration, maybe he was just bored. Or maybe there was something in you that challenged you, without you even knowing it.
You, on the other hand, were completely oblivious to any look that could be cast in your direction. Your mind was too busy with professional issues, and on the personal side, Kendall, although consumed by the obsession with being a CEO, found ways to devote to you all the attention she needed - and sometimes even a little more. He knew how to balance the two worlds when necessary, a trait that you secretly admired in him.
That same day, something not so unusual was about to happen. At work, you always maintained an impeccable posture. Seriousness and professionalism were practically their business cards. You knew the dangers of giving room to gossip or distractions in the corporate environment. But no matter how much I tried to keep things strictly professional, sometimes it was impossible to ignore the magnetic tension between the two of you. He had a unique talent for making you lower your guard, especially when Waystar's building was almost empty.
The day was exhausting and long, a whirlwind of words and numbers that seemed to dance in front of you from the moment you passed by Waystar's concierge. Now, with the floor almost empty and the sky outside dipped in darkness, you and Kendall were sitting side by side on the couch in your living room, trying to decipher the last barrier of a problematic contract.
Kendall's suit had already been abandoned hours ago, and the sleeves of his dress shirt were folded up to the forearms. He was more comfortable. You had also abandoned any formality: the heels were dropped near the sofa, the blazer had disappeared at some point in the day, and you now settled with your legs bent under you, in an almost intimate position, reflecting the tiredness and comfort you felt next to him.
The silence in the room was broken only by the sound of fingers occasionally typing on the notebook keyboard and exhausted sighs. It was Kendall who broke the cycle, rubbing her face with her hands and leaning back on the couch with a heavy sigh, the frustration evident.
You observed the movement, the way he seemed more vulnerable at that moment, and made the decision to end the torture that you yourselves were imposing. With a decisive gesture, you closed the two notebooks in front of you and organized the papers in an improvised pile.
- I think we've done enough for today. - His voice was low, but he had a quiet determination that he didn't dispute.
When you leaned over to reach the table, your skirt went up a few centimeters more, exposing parts of your skin. Despite the evident tiredness, Kendall's gaze automatically slid to you, a spark of interest lighting up in your eyes. He didn't say anything, but the smile that began to play on his lips delivered him.
You leaned back on the couch again, but this time, instinctively, closer to him. His hand went up to the back of Kendall's neck, his fingers tracing small circles on the tense skin, an affectionate and intimate gesture that always made him relax.
- Do we really have to go to his country house this week? - You asked, your voice low and almost resigned, as if you expected him to change something. - Can't Matsson be normal and just do a video conference?
Kendall opened her eyes, turning her face slightly in your direction.
- Do you need a vacation? Because that would be a bad moment. - The provocation came with a tired but sincere smile.
- Well, you couldn't stop me anyway. - You answered in the same tone, a playful smile illuminating your face.
Kendall tilted her head, the expression slightly challenging as she rested her hands on her legs, gently pulling them to be on top of his.
- You know I'm still your boss, don't you? - His provocation was accompanied by a light touch on his knees, his fingers slowly rising up the curve of his thighs, like someone testing the limits.
- Nothing like a good judicial process to put things in perspective. - You replied with a defiant smile.
He let out a low and incredulous laugh, his eyes shining with amusement.
- Are you threatening me? Because, just for the record, my legal group is the best in the country.
You couldn't contain the loud laugh that escaped, the sound echoing through the silent room. Kendall leaned over, his smile growing when he saw his fun.
- What? Do you think I'm kidding? - He continued, still smiling, but now his hands were firmly anchored to your waist, pulling you closer. You didn't notice the exact moment when you ended up completely on his lap, but there was, sitting on your legs, the heat of the bodies of you two filling the small space between you.
- You definitely wouldn't want to face me in a court, Ken. - You murmured, the lowest voice now, but still provocative, while your arms wrapped around his neck.
His hands tightened slightly on his waist, as if they wanted to record the moment in his memory. He tilted his head, his eyes sliding from his lips to the neckline of his blouse, which was now slightly more open because of the position.
You didn't have time to say anything else before he tilted his face and his lips finally met. The kiss started slowly, almost exploratory, but quickly became more intense. His hands slid from his shoulders to his chest, feeling his breathing accelerated as he deepened the kiss.
Some fingers slowly rose under your skirt, dragging the fabric with them, while Kendall pulled you even closer, gluing her hips to his. The movement was deliberate, provocative, and when he pressed you against you, you felt exactly what he wanted you to feel.
You grabbed the collar of his shirt, your fingers sliding down the open collar until you met the heat of the exposed skin, at the same time, his hands went up more, exploring his thighs without any hurry, but with a firmness that made it clear that he knew exactly what he wanted. When the lips parted, it was only for him to go down his jaw and reach his neck, where he began to distribute hot and possessive kisses.
You let out a trembling sigh when he found a sensitive spot near your collarbone. He noticed and lightly bit the area, a satisfied smile forming against his skin when he heard the sound that escaped from his lips.
- You have no idea how much I have to hold back when you wear this fucking skirt. - He whispered against her neck, his warm breath making his skin shiver.
You arched your body, tilting your head to give him more access, while he continued the path over your shoulders, his lips alternating between kisses and soft bites that made you lose control. Unhurriedly, Kendall slid her fingers through the fabric of her blouse, moving it away just enough to expose more of her skin.
- Much better this way. - He murmured against his collarbone, the hot breath making his skin even more sensitive. His hands returned to your waist, pulling you again against him while your lips explored the new piece of exposed skin.
You tried to answer, but your mind was a blur. His every touch seemed to set you on fire, and when he pressed his lips lower, near the beginning of your bra, you couldn't hold a louder sigh.
That's when a noise in the distance interrupted the moment. A low sound, maybe the creaking of a door or quick steps, made you freeze for an instant. Kendall, however, seemed to ignore it completely.
- Ken... - you call, between sighs, your eyes opening more attentively while trying to regain focus. He ignored it, thinking it was just one more of those delicious moans you let out when muttering his name. But your voice became more serious when you pushed his face away, still panting. - Ken, I think there's someone here.
He frowned, reluctantly, his lips still close to his neck while grumbling:
- So what?
You moved away a little, already restless, standing, your eyes trying to cross the darkness of the office beyond the glass walls. Kendall sighed, clearly upset, and accompanied you. He stopped right behind you, his hands automatically returning to your waist as he glued his body to yours, as if the situation were a mere detail that did not require any attention.
- There's no one here, dear. - He murmured in her ear, pressing his lips back on the curve of his neck, ignoring any sound or shadow that might exist.
You closed your eyes for a moment, almost giving in again to the warmth of his hands on your waist and brushing your lips that seemed to want to erase any remnant of your concern. But then the sound came back: something soft, like a hurried movement or the creak of a door in the distance.
- Ken, seriously. - You turned around, putting your hands on his chest, trying to stay firm. - Shall we go home?
He furrowed his eyebrows quickly, his lips curved in a carefree smile that only made it clear how much he thought you were exaggerating.
- Are you really getting me out of here? - he asked, tilting his head while looking at you as if it were a crime to leave things incomplete.
You laughed lightly, shaking your head, but before you could answer, he pulled you by the neck for a kiss, one of those that disarmed any argument. The plan of a quick kiss to convince him was completely lost when he deepened the movement, his hands firm on his waist as he pressed you against his body, with an accuracy that made you forget why they were still there.
Finally, he walked away, the satisfied smile still stamped on his face, and murmured:
- Let's go soon. - He took the suit thrown on the couch with the same energy as someone who wanted to shorten the waiting time, wearing it anyway.
You took the opportunity to take your bag, put on your shoes and turn off the lights. While the door closed behind you and you walked to the elevator, Kendall didn't waste time: a hand slid firmly to his ass, squeezing lightly while he commented something provocative with a cheeky smile.
The way back home seemed longer than usual, every second an agony. His fingers slowly went up his thigh, deliberate, squeezing and sliding, as if he wanted to test his limits.
As soon as the elevator of the building where you lived arrived, the silence between you seemed electric, the air loaded with tension. As soon as the door opened directly to the apartment, Kendall was already pulling you by the waist, closing the space between you as if there was no more time to waste. He pressed you against the wall next to the entrance, his hungry lips on yours, and you responded with equal intensity, your hands grabbing his hair, pulling him closer.
The corridor became a blur as he guided you inside, the two bumping into furniture as if every second mattered. When they got to the kitchen, Kendall didn't hesitate.
- Is this good for you? - He murmured, his voice loaded with sarcasm and desire, his chest pressed against his back, while sliding his hands down his thighs, raising his skirt without ceremony.
You couldn't answer, already completely surrendered to the firm and urgent touches. The kitchen, with its cold tones and the soft street lighting that entered through the windows, became the perfect setting for the outcome of the desire that began in the office.
__________________________
The days before the trip were intense and so full of commitments that time seemed to escape through your fingers. Kendall, you, Roman and Shiv were at a frantic pace, adjusting the last details of the proposal for Matsson during the flight. The atmosphere between you was focused, but Roman's constant interruptions with his jokes did not let the environment become completely wise.
The flight was long and silent. While most of you were immersed in papers or napping, there was a feeling of shared restlessness. You noticed this in Kendall, who drummed her fingers on the arm of the armchair.
When they landed at the small airport, the atmosphere of the destination welcomed them with a humid and cloudy cold. The surrounding mountains seemed to be covered by a thin fog, and the icy wind carried raindrops. Roman, when putting his feet on the ground, looked at the cars waiting for you and, as expected, made a comment:
- Oh, perfect. Who needs a helicopter when you can take an endless trip by car.
During the journey through the winding roads that crossed the mountainous region, the silence in the car was interrupted only by the sound of the windshield wiper fighting against the persistent drops.
When they finally arrived at the place, an imposing and modernist construction emerged in the melancholic landscape. It was isolated, surrounded by tall trees and surrounded by low clouds. Despite the discomfort caused by the cold and rain, the minimalist architecture seemed even more impactful in the scenery.
You and Kendall went out side by side, the body expression of both was neutral, maintaining professionalism. The tense atmosphere of the negotiation seemed combined with the gloomy atmosphere of the place.
Lukas was waiting under the entrance cover. Dressed casually, he seemed completely at ease, as if the hostile weather was just another characteristic of his nature. His eyes soon fell on you, analyzing every detail in a long and not at all subtle way. A brief smile appeared on the corner of his lips, something between interest and curiosity.
He approached to greet the group, extending his hand to Kendall first. Then, his eyes turned to you, and he tilted his head slightly, as if trying to evaluate who you were.
Kendall returned the greeting impassively, and you just kept the same professional countenance, corresponding to the handshake that Lukas offered. Despite not showing any visible reaction, you noticed his insistent gaze on you, as if you were trying to decipher your presence there.
His first impressions of that place ranging from something almost picturesque, ideal for relaxing, to a slasher movie setting. Dense trees surrounded the complex, its branches writhing as if whispering secrets. And the accommodations... Well, these brought a new meaning to "forced intimacy".
The rooms were small, surrounded by glass walls that led to the treetops - and to the rooms of others. There were no curtains, just a dubious concept of "integration with nature". Privacy seemed like a joke.
- What the fuck is this? - you let go, dropping your suitcase in a corner with a slack of disdain. - They put us in a matchbox with transparent walls.
Kendall, already taking off her coat, laughed low and shook her head.
- This guy is too weird to choose this damn place. - But the irritation on his face was obvious. He hated places that escaped the standard of impeccable luxury.
While you were removing your heavy coat, Kendall answered a call from Roman. He left his cell phone on the speakerphone on the table, and his brother's debauched voice took over the environment.
- Damn, are these rooms a social experiment? - Roman began, already with that tone loaded with sarcasm. - Who was the genius who decided: 'Hey, do you know what's going to be great? Glass walls among dysfunctional adults!'.
You suppressed a laugh while Roman continued:
- By the way, you can see you here. Yes, literally. So, please, do me a fucking favor and save the couple's little show for later. Seriously, whatever you do in that bed - I don't know, bite, moan, scream - I don't need a VIP window to watch. My trauma quota is already broken.
- Why don't you just look away? - Kendall replied, frowning, but unable to hide a smile.
- Oh, great plan, Ken! I'll just turn my head and ignore the erotic theater that you two may or may not decide to stage. Like, of course, super simple. It's like asking not to look at a car disaster.
Kendall just hung up with a sigh.
- He never shuts up, does he?
- It's a talent. - You laughed, dropping your coat on the couch and going towards the bathroom.
The bathroom was even tighter. You sighed when you entered, since it wasn't exactly the standard of comfort you were used to. His apartment in New York was practically a sanctuary, where not even a drone would be able to snoop.
The hot water ran down his skin, but there was no way to relax completely. Everything in that place seemed... exposed, at the same time as tiny. When you left the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, you found Kendall sitting on the bed, fiddling with your cell phone with a restained expression of frustration.
- What's wrong? - you asked as you went to your suitcase, taking the clothes you would wear during dinner.
Kendall dropped her cell phone on the bed and rubbed her eyes with her hands, the gesture of someone on the verge of exploding with their own thoughts.
- Nothing, just rereading some things. - He replied, looking up at you. The smile that emerged was subtle, but carried a malicious trace.
- What kind of "things"? - you asked, pulling a black wool blouse out of the suitcase.
He tilted his head, his eyes walking through you while you chose a heavy coat to complete the look.
- The kind that makes me think that we could pretend we got lost in this shitty place and skip this dinner.
You laughed, shaking your head while wearing your underwear, still feeling the remnant of lightness of the moment they shared. However, as soon as you and Kendall left the room and reached the main corridor, the atmosphere changed. Near the entrance of the hall, they found Shiv and Roman, and the air already seemed loaded with tension. As expected, Roman did not miss the opportunity to break the atmosphere with one of his jokes, full of irony.
- Look, the couple of the moment. - He said, with a crooked smile. - I bet dinner will be the preliminaries for what comes next.
You didn't stop, you just kept walking, your cutting tone escaping naturally.
- Roman, you're talking so much about it that I'm starting to think you're waiting for us to make love in front of you or something like that.
Roman went from surprised to angry, and you could hear the frustration in his voice.
- Fuck you.
You launched a victorious smile, without even looking back. You positioned yourself next to Shiv, following next to her to the table where they would sit while you listened to her tell you about the discoveries about Matsson.
The rhythmic sound of your heels and those of Shiv echoed through the hall as you walked towards the designated table. To the corner of your eye, you noticed Gerri and Carl sitting further down, engaged in a conversation that seemed casual. Gerri threw a polite smile in your direction, and you reciprocated, without thinking too much, before continuing to walk next to Shiv.
However, as soon as you passed, Carl leaned slightly towards Gerri, the unmistakable provocative tone.
- Still trying to make friends, huh?
Gerri kept the smile on his face, but the sarcasm in his voice was cutting.
- I still can't believe this bitch got so much power just by fucking one of Logan's children.
Carl gave a muffled laugh, his gaze dancing between Gerri and his figure, now on his way to the table.
- Well, it's not like you haven't tried something similar either, right?
Gerri sighed deeply, as if the conversation was more exhausting than necessary.
- Fuck you, Carl.
You, oblivious to the poison exchanged behind you, went to the table with Shiv, focused only on the dinner you were about to start.
Dinner was a mixture of forced formality and disguised tensions. The expensive dishes were served in silence interrupted only by the strategic conversations between the sides of Waystar and GoJo. You were calm, oblivious to any subtext that surrounded the table. He answered Matsson's questions succinctly when he tried to involve you in discussions about his area of expertise, remaining strictly professional. His clear and objective answers left little room for any other interpretation.
On the other side of the table, Roman watched everything with the usual restless attention. It didn't take long for him to realize that Matsson's eyes wandered to you more often than necessary. It was subtle, but it was there - the look that lasted a little longer when you spoke, the pause before he returned to paying attention to what Kendall or Shiv were saying.
He spent dinner rolling his eyes at himself. "Really, Lukas? Do you want to fuck her now? At a dinner? With Kendall right there?" He thought, trying to decide whether to intervene with some comment or just let the show roll. In the end, he remained silent, but the tension did not go unnoticed.
Dinner was over, and conversations flowed in small groups scattered around the hall. You ended up cornered by Greg, who, with his innate ability to turn any topic into an endless monologue, was talking about something that involved compliance systems and a documentary that no one else seemed to have heard of. You nodded from time to time, let out a "Is it really?", while thinking about how to get out of there.
Finally, you asked for permission, a polite smile on your lips, but in a hurry enough not to give him room to insist. The cold air outside was an immediate relief, and you pulled your coat closer, taking the silver cigarette wallet out of your pocket. The sound of the lighter breaking the silence was almost comforting as the smoke spread around him.
You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn't hear the steps approaching until a low voice full of irony sounded behind you.
- Do you mind offering me one of these?
You turned around slightly, finding Lukas Matsson standing there, the smile half crooked on his face, the expression too casual to be innocent.
- Of course. - You answered, handing him the wallet and the lighter. He took a cigarette, lit it calmly, and the flame of the lighter briefly lit up his face before he released the first long puff.
For a few seconds, silence reigned, only the sound of the embers burning filling the space. So, he broke the moment:
- So, what's your story? Did they throw you into this last-minute deal or was it just a strategic move that no one noticed?
You let out a low laugh, bringing it again while answering:
- I don't think your team did homework as well as you think. - There was an ironic tone in his voice, but nothing exaggerated. - I've always been involved. I only prefer to avoid the spotlight when I can.
Matsson gave a short laugh, leaning more relaxed against the wall, but his eyes never left you.
- You know, that's funny. - he said, releasing another drag. - It seems that the more time I spend with you, from Waystar, the more I wonder how Logan kept this shit all together.
You kept a polite smile, but you didn't get more involved than necessary.
- He knew exactly how to deal with each piece on the board.
He arched an eyebrow, interested.
- And you? Is it just another piece... or is it the one who moves the others?
His words came loaded with a subtext that you preferred to ignore. Your smile didn't falter while you put out the cigarette on the stone guardrail in front of you.
- I'm more for someone who guarantees that the board remains whole.
Matsson laughed softly, shaking his head.
- Between us, if Kendall had introduced me to you before, I would have signed any contract he asked for.
You stopped in the middle of the gesture of putting out the cigarette, crossing your arms instinctively. The short laugh that escaped was dry, almost sharp.
- This is somewhat inappropriate, considering the context.
Matsson tilted his head, a smile that was half fun, half provocation forming on his lips.
- Don't worry, it just makes everything more... interesting.
The comment made something turn in your stomach. His disconnection from the seriousness of the situation was as absurd as it was annoying. For him, it seemed like a game, a casual provocation, but you felt the weight of the inadequacy. Taking a step back, you adjusted your coat with calculated calm before answering firmly:
- Well, I think I've spent too much time outside.
He didn't move, he just kept smiling in that almost defiant way, as if he was testing his limits. You turned around and started walking back, but the discomfort persisted. Even without looking, it was impossible to ignore the weight of his gaze burning on his back.
When he got close to the salon, he saw Kendall, and the relief was immediate. Approaching, you lightly touched his arm and murmured something quick. He nodded, casting a discreet look at you before continuing his conversation.
As you left the room, you could feel Matsson watching everything from afar, his eyes fixed on every movement. What did he think he was doing? The confusion hung over you as you went up to the room, trying to remove the discomfort of that interaction.
After dinner, when most people were already starting to disperse, Matsson called Shiv, Roman and Kendall to his office. The room was minimalist, with dark wooden furniture and soft lighting that seemed to cast more shadows than clarity.
Roman, as usual, did not miss the chance to make one or two comments that made him laugh, while Shiv kept a clinical look at Lukas' roles and words. Kendall was attentive, but calm, following each point with a meticulous focus.
When the subject of the agreement finally sold out, Roman was the first to get up, with
Shiv going right behind. Kendall, in turn, mentioned accompanying them, but Matsson's voice interrupted him, casual, but firm.
- Kendall, stay a little longer. I want to exchange an idea with you.
Kendall stopped halfway, looking at the brothers. Shiv hesitated for a moment, narrowing his eyes, but ended up leaving without saying anything. The door closed with a soft click, leaving the two alone.
Lukas went to the bar in the corner of the room, the steps deliberately slow. He took a bottle of whiskey and poured two glasses, handing one to Kendall before casually leaning back on the counter. His smile had that ambiguous quality - friendly, but provocative.
- You know, you have an interesting team. - He started, turning the glass in his hand. - A little... predictable, maybe, but interesting.
Kendall laughed low, almost automatically, while taking a sip.
- Yeah, they do what they need to do.
Lukas tilted his head slightly, his smile deepening.
- Someone from your team caught my attention.
Kendall raised an eyebrow, curious, but still relaxed.
- Really?
- Yes. - Lukas took another sip, savoring the moment. - An assistant of yours, I imagine. She tried to stay professional, but... fuck, what a woman.
Kendall laughed lightly, shaking her head as if the situation were an internal joke.
- I didn't know she was your type.
Matsson arched his eyebrows, as if he were facing something too obvious to be discussed.
- Are you slutty? Damn, the woman is fucking hot. I tried to start a conversation, but she didn't make it easy.
Kendall let out a more genuine laugh now, completely certain that Matsson was talking about Jess. He imagined the assistant, who always seemed shy and out of place, trying to avoid the company's buyer.
- Well, that probably blew her mind. This kind of situation is not exactly her strong point.
Matsson shrugged, the smile loaded with subtext.
- Maybe. But nothing that a little... persistence can't solve.
Kendall still laughed, not realizing the true focus of the comments.
- Okay, good luck with that.
Matsson raised the glass, as if toasting to the "challenge", but the malicious glow in his eyes suggested much more. Finally, he changed the subject, but the tension in the air persisted, hovering between the two as something that would not be easily dissipated.
__________________________
The next morning, as soon as Kendall appeared, Roman intercepted him right on his arrival for breakfast, looking more curious than worried.
- So, Ken, what did Matsson want with you yesterday?
Kendall sighed, already anticipating Roman's insistence. In addition to having been briefly frightened by the abrupt arrival of his brother.
- Relax, man. I won't sell the company without you. - Kendall answers with a light smile with a humorous tone.
Roman, however, rolled his eyes, impatient.
- What did he want?
Kendall hesitated for a moment, but ended up letting out a short laugh while lowering her tone of voice.
- No big deal. He just wanted to talk about an assistant of mine.
- Assistant? - Roman narrowed his eyes, his expression confused.
- Yeah, I don't know, Jess. He said he thought she was hot or something like that. - Kendall gave a light laugh. - Surprising, right? Like, who would have thought?
Roman blinked, the plug suddenly falling, and his expression became incredulous. He grabbed Kendall's arm, pulling him away from curious ears.
- Ken, are you serious? - Kendall frowned in confusion, with no answer to what her brother meant by that. After all, why would he lie about that?
Roman rubbed his face, as if he needed a moment to reorganize his thoughts.
- Man, I hate being the bearer of the bad news, but... he wasn't talking about Jess.
Kendall kept not understanding, already getting impatient.
- What the fuck do you mean by that?
Roman lowered his voice even more, but the tone carried all the drama that only he knew how to apply.
- He was talking about your wife, Ken.
Kendall's face hardened, the laughter disappeared immediately.
- What?
- Do you remember that day at Waystar? He saw her passing by and, fuck, I swear, the guy almost drooled on the glass of my living room. It was so uncomfortable that I had to invent something on the spot.
- And what did you say, Roman? - Kendall asked slowly, her eyes narrowed.
Roman raised his hands, half defensive, half cynical.
- I said she was your assistant, okay? I thought you were helping. The guy was literally looking at her as if it were dessert.
Kendall ran her hand over her face, taking a deep breath, as if she wanted to punch a wall.
- Did you say she was my assistant?
- Yes, because Lukas was one step away from asking for her number. You know how he is. I thought I was playing fair for you. I thought that, because I was an assistant, he would lose interest, I don't know.
Kendall closed her eyes for a moment, as if she was counting to ten.
- And now he thinks he can talk to me about it as if it were a trophy he wants to conquer?
Roman shrugged, casting an almost apologetic look.
- Welcome to the world of Lukas Matsson. He's a cretin with an ego the size of fucking Norway.
Roman patted Kendall's shoulder before walking away, but Kendall stood still for a moment, looking at the floor, clearly trying to decide what her next step would be.
The worst was not only Matsson's behavior, but what it meant. It was a constant reminder that he was, of his own free will, about to deliver everything: Waystar, ATN, the legacy that his family carried, no matter how sick it was.
Kendall tried to focus on work for the rest of the day, but it was impossible to ignore. Whenever Matsson made a comment that seemed on the verge of something inappropriate, Roman exchanged tense glances with Kendall, as if he was expecting an explosion at any moment.
And, of course, there was the ATN.
Kendall knew that selling Waystar was already a complicated decision, but including ATN in the package? That was simply handing over all the weapons to the enemy. With the presidential elections coming, the ATN was more than a tool; it was a weapon of influence on a large scale. Leaving that in Matsson's hands was giving him a power that not even Logan would have dared to deliver.
___________________________
That same night, Kendall finally consolidated his decision. He knew that Shiv would never support him in this plan, so he went straight to what really mattered: convincing Roman. Manipulating her brother, twisting the arguments until they made sense to both of them, was something Kendall did with the skill of someone who had spent his whole life watching Logan. And, like Logan, he felt no remorse for leaving Shiv out. She was brilliant, but also mercilessly practical, and at this moment, Kendall needed something more emotional, something that only Roman could offer.
The next day, the morning was tense, but Kendall barely seemed to notice. He maintained his professional posture, and when the right time came, he set up the scene. During the meeting on a mountain trail, he pressured Matsson with insinuations about the fragility of GoJo's numbers and the potential increase in Waystar's value. It was a dangerous dance, but Kendall knew exactly where to step to make Matsson hesitate. The plan was moving slowly, but accurately.
At night, after dinner, Kendall was visibly closer to you. Throughout the day, he had left small gestures of proximity: his hand resting on the lower part of your back while you moved through the hall, one arm on the back of your chair. It was atypical for him, and you were surprised, but you didn't complain.
Already in the room, the dim light of the lamp next to the bed barely illuminated the room, but it was enough to highlight Kendall's tense expression as he closed the door behind him. He walked up to you slowly, his fingers running through his hair in an automatic gesture of frustration, before letting the weight of his body fall on the edge of the bed.
- Roman is with me - he said, without preamble, his gaze fixed on the floor. He tilted his head to you, his eyes softer, but still full of concern. - That's already something.
You frowned, closing the book you had in your hands and putting it aside.
- Okay, but what exactly are we talking about here?
He sighed, rubbing his face with both hands before turning completely to you. When he spoke, his voice was low, almost conspiratorial:
- I'm going to screw this deal. Make Matsson give up even before he gets to the council.
Your stomach jumped a little with the confidence in his voice, but you kept the expression neutral.
- And how do you intend to do that? - he asked, hesitantly.
- Force the bar. Inflate the numbers. Throwing enough shit on the table until he thinks it's not worth it.
You were silent for a moment, processing everything he had just said. It was risky, of course, but the part of you who knew the game well knew it wasn't impossible. Still, there was something in his tone, in his gestures, that suggested that he wanted more than just his approval.
- Ken... - you started, but he cut you off.
- And you? Do you have another idea? Because, honestly, I'm open to suggestions.
He hesitated. Of course there was something - the letter that no one else seemed to be thinking about. But it was risky. Not only for Kendall, but for you too.
- It's not exactly conventional - you started, carefully choosing the words. - But we've done things like this before.
He raised an eyebrow, a small smile thrown on his face.
- Okay, before your father passed away he kind of chose the next president, didn't he? Maybe... If you ensure that one of the candidates wins, but on the condition that the agreement is barred...
- Politics? - He laughed softly, more out of disbelief than humor. - Are you suggesting that I use ATN to create a political advantage and bar Matsson?
- And why not? The ATN takes care of him being elected, and everything is very simple: an election for favors to Waystar.
He didn't answer immediately. He was just looking at you, his eyes loaded with something difficult to decipher, as if he was evaluating not only the weight of your words, but you whole. Then, suddenly, a slow smile formed, that typical Kendall expression when an idea consumed him completely. Without warning, he leaned over and pressed his lips against yours almost desperately, as if you had just delivered the solution to all his problems.
- Damn, I fucking love you. - He murmured, his forehead touching yours while a small smile still hovered on his lips.
You couldn't avoid a laugh, half surprised, half enchanted, but full of the lightness that he seemed so desperate to feel.
At the same time, in Matsson's office, Shiv entered with a confidence almost identical to Kendall's, carrying on his shoulders the posture of someone who knew exactly what he was doing.
Shiv entered Lukas Matsson's office with calculated steps, like someone who knew the weight of his own presence. He was at the bar, absently fiddling with a bottle of whiskey, but turned around when he saw it. A provocative smile appeared almost immediately.
- Oh, Roy who really knows what he's doing. What an honor.
She ignored the sarcasm, approaching with the usual posture: absolute confidence. Shiv knew he loved a power game and wanted to make him confused about what piece she represented on that board.
- We need to talk, Lukas. Of course, my brother is... complicating things.
He poured himself a glass and offered her another one, which Shiv accepted without taking his eyes off him.
- Complicating? - He arched an eyebrow, leaning casually. - It's a polite way of saying that he's trying to fuck with the agreement.
- Well, considering the circumstances, it doesn't surprise me.
Matsson tilted his head, interested.
- Circumstances?
Shiv turned the liquid in the glass, taking his time to choose the words. She knew that the next move would be crucial.
- Before we go for this, I want something from you.
He laughed briefly, surprised by the audacity.
- Like what?
- A guarantee that, if I help you, my place in all this will be solid. No unexpected turnaround, no last-minute change of plans.
Lukas blinked, clearly intrigued.
- Are you serious?
- Always. - She took a sip of the whiskey. - You need someone who knows how to deal with things... and I need to know that, at the end of this, I won't be just a pawn.
Shiv observed his reaction with a subtle smile, as if he knew exactly the direction the conversation would take. She leaned back in the chair, keeping her eyes fixed on Lukas, while he still seemed to process her proposal. She had the feeling that he was beginning to realize the weight of his words, but still not enough to accept the offer without question.
- And what are you going to give me in return, then? - Lukas asked, more genuine now, as if the negotiation had begun.
She didn't hesitate.
- Kendall. - The word fell like a silent command, and she watched him, seeing the surprise twinkle in her eyes.
- Kendall? - He repeated, the disbelief evident in his voice.
- I want you to keep him in control. I'll help you deal with it, keep it more... tied to the agreement. But what I need is to know that my role in your structure will be clear and definitive. I'm not someone who submits to uncertainties.
Lukas was silent for a moment, watching her more intensely now. He realized that the conversation was not only about business, but about power and control. Shiv wasn't there to ask for favors, she was negotiating something much more valuable.
- And what do you think I need to know exactly? - Lukas asked, leaning forward. He seemed to want to better understand what was at stake, but something in the way he looked at her said that he was also considering the impact of this for himself.
- Something about Kendall, of course. But also about who he has next to him. You know, his wife is not just another woman in the equation. She's... strategic. Before being Kendall's wife, she already had influence, an influence that is not seen in the media, but that is very real. Politics, maybe. Real power, not this spotlight show you love. And, of course, she was always his right-hand man, helping him get where he got.
Matsson was silent, his expression changing as he assimilated Shiv's words. He tried to connect the pieces, and the surprise soon turned into a smile of recognition.
- I'll make sure Kendall doesn't destroy the agreement. I'll help you keep him on the right track. And in the end, you'll need someone like me to make sure everything goes as planned.
Lukas was silent for a moment, evaluating her, before giving a low laugh, full of understanding.
Lukas let out a short and incredulous laugh, his smile widening.
- Damn, you Roy really hate your own family, don't you? - He said, the sharp sarcasm, but his eyes shining with something darker, almost fascinated.
Shiv tilted his head slightly, an ironic smile touching his lips.
Without saying anything else, she deposited the empty glass on the table with a slight click, keeping her gaze fixed on him for a moment that seemed to last longer than necessary. So, he got up with the calculated grace of those who always know the next move and walked out of the room, leaving Lukas with the trail of his presence and the sound of his jumps echoing in the silent space.
After Shiv's departure, Lukas Matsson remained motionless for a few moments, his gaze fixed on the door she had closed behind him. A slow smile formed on his lips, but it wasn't just satisfaction - it was something deeper, almost voracious. You.
Kendall's wife.
Lukas got up from the couch and walked to the window, the whiskey glass turning in his hand. He stared at his reflection in the glass for a moment, his breathing a little heavier. There was something electric, a mixture of irritation, fascination and a barely disguised excitement.
With a quick movement, he took his cell phone in his pocket and typed his name. In seconds, the information appeared: the first photo showed you next to Kendall at an event, the haugty look, a perfect smile, but distant. He narrowed his eyes, analyzing every detail of the image.
He moved on to the next photo. You alone, greeting some big guy at a formal event. Impeccable posture, wearing power as if it were a second skin. The almost non-existent smile was just enough to comply with the protocol.
A wave of irritation passed through Lukas. How had your team let something so grotesque pass? They had done a thorough research on Kendall and all his surroundings, but they hadn't realized that the person next to him was more than a wife.
Another article caught his attention, and he clicked. Your maiden's last name. Political connections. Zero direct involvement with the media, but an evident reach in other circles of power. Lukas laughed dryly, almost incredulous. You didn't need Waystar to be relevant.
He found another photo. You in a tight dress, walking alone to an event. Every line of his body seemed designed to exude control and elegance. Lukas pressed his lips, his jaw contracting. How did Kendall get someone like that? The thought hit him hard, a mixture of mockery and indignation.
He rested his hand on the bar, the smile on his face now a mixture of contempt and challenge. Kendall, with all her flaws and insecurities, had conquered something that seemed so out of reach. Maybe that was luck. Or maybe it was you.
The heat of the whiskey burned his throat, but it was not enough to relieve the tension that grew in his body. Every detail about you was like a piece of a puzzle that he wanted to assemble. How could someone so strategic, so imposing, be next to someone as pathetic as Kendall?
Leaving his cell phone aside, Lukas leaned back at the window, his gaze fixed on the horizon. You weren't just a challenge.
_______________________________
A/N: Okay, I know we ran over some things here, but I just couldn't contain my obsession, sorry!! 🫠
masterlist
xoxo, bebe🫶🏼💕
#succession x reader#succession fanfiction#succession#kendall roy x y/n#kendall roy x you#kendall roy x reader#kendall roy iamgine#kendall roy imagine#kendall roy smut#kendall roy#roman roy x reader#roman roy#lukas matsson#shiv roy#logan roy#connor roy#roy family#y/n#x reader#x you
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Have I Not Given Enough
pairings: arsenal wfc x young!reader
warnings: crying. self-blaming. teen!reader reacting to losing against wolfsburg.
author's note: oh to be comforted by the arsenal girlies...
masterlist
•••••••
''We'll come back stronger, kid. Only the start for you.'' Caitlin patted her back before making her way to congratulate the Wolfsburg players.
The Arsenal striker stood on her own now, bathing in the misery of defeat. The worn pitch beneath Y/N's boots felt colder, a stark contrast to the warmth of anticipation that had filled the air just hours ago.
This wasn't how it was supposed to end. The set-up was perfect; Arsenal making it into the Champions League finals for the first time in over 15 years at a sold-out Emirates Stadium.
Bremer's extra time goal had ruined it all. The cheers had been replaced by a haunting silence, broken only by distant celebrations from the victorious Wolfsburg team.
The teenager was a sad sight as she tried not to burst out in tears, standing all on her own by the opposition's goalposts. The gravity of the loss weighed on her shoulders
Somehow she managed to move her feet towards the other players, going through the post-match routine: congratulating the Wolfsburg players, who in return offered their solace.
It was nice to have players like Popp express their admiration for the youngster, but in the moment she couldn't bring herself to care one bit.
''Nice goal, kid.'' Ewa Pajor patted her head, praising her opening goal of the match, the one that had kickstarted the long, grueling fight between the German and English team.
Y/N managed a weak smile, grateful for the acknowledgment.
''Hey, hey, Boneca!'' Rafaelle approached her. ''You should be proud of yourself, okay? Remember the noise in the stadium when you made that goal? Savor that feeling.'' Her Brazilian teammate told her, holding her close.
Katie noticed the interaction and decided to join them, leaving Teyah and Lia behind. ''Hey, girlie. Why the sad face? You've just made yourself a legend.'' The Irishwoman managed to genuinely laugh.
''We lost, Macca.'' A few tears escaped, but they were immediately wiped away by Katie and Rafa.
''Yeah, and it hurts. But you, baby goat, just scored in a Champions League semifinal against a club that has won this thing 2 times.'' She grinned, the pride she felt beaming off of her face as she used the playful nickname.
Y/N was pulled into a supportive hug by Katie, providing much comfort. Rafa affectionately pinched her cheek before making her way towards their other teammates.
As the huddle expanded, more teammates joined them, forming a circle of support around the young player who felt this loss harder than anyone else.
Jen held her close to her body, as if shielding her from the harsh reality of the defeat. The Scott wasn't telling her anything, just holding her as their teammates tried getting a smile out of her.
''I was like ''Yeah! Woo!'' The atmosphere was insane!'' Manu did an impression of her reaction to Y/N's opening goal.
''It's like the stadium came alive, it was so fucking crazy!'' Kaylan exclaimed, with animated hand gestures.
Y/N appreciated her teammates and their consolations. However, she couldn't escape the weight of disappointment that she felt within her. Despite their genuine efforts to coax a smile, the young player found herself unable to entertain them.
''Oh my god, you did so well, Y/N. You were amazing.'' Victoria hugged her as Jen let her go.
''Thanks, Vic.'' She mumbled on the Dutchwoman's shoulder.
The midfielder swung her from side to side. ''Don't cry, it's okay.'' She tried to comfort her younger friend.
Y/N felt another pair of hands on her back, hands that belonged to another Dutchwoman, although, this time it was not a teammate.
''Hey, meid.'' Jill greeted her, and Y/N pulled away from Vic, who said something in Dutch to her patriot.
''There's gonna come a day where you're gonna lift that trophy, okay? You've grown so much.'' Her former teammate praised her.
The teenager nodded. ''Thanks, Jilly.''
Jill planted a kiss on her head, bidding goodbye as she joined her teammates again in their celebrations.
As Victoria pulled Y/N back into her embrace, the teenager's gaze caught sight of the approaching figures of Kim, Leah, Beth, and Vivianne.
The teenager skillfully transitioned from hugging Victoria, gently slipping away as the crowd dispersed. She made her way to the bench, where the atmosphere was more peaceful as most people were scattered around the pitch.
As she settled on the bench, Y/N took a deep breath, her emotions threatening to surface. Before she could fully let herself go, a familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.
''Hey, what's going on?'' Steph, observant as ever, approached with concern etched on her face.
The striker tried to mask her emotions with a forced smile. ''Just disappointed.''
Steph nodded understandingly. ''I get it. But you got us through this match, and I'm very proud of you.''
''Thanks, Stephy- you were amazing too.'' Y/N quickly reciprocated the compliment, her eyes darting around.
The Australian noticed a frown on her face. ''Hey… you okay? You look like you're having panic attack.''
At her words, Y/N looked her straight in the eyes. ''No, no! I just wanna go home, to be honest.'' It wasn't a lie. All she wanted to do was to get in the car, and lie in her bed until it was time for the next match.
Steph nodded. ''Take your time, sweetie.'' The defender joined the squad on the pitch again, leaving the young one alone.
In the distance, Beth approached Jen, her expression reflecting concern. ''Hey, Jen, have you seen Y/N?''
Jen furrowed her brow, scanning the surroundings. ''Uh, she was with Vic like a minute ago.''
''Oh, alright. How was she doing?''
The Scott pouted. ''Looked pretty torn up, as you'd expect. Some of us were trying to cheer her up, but you know the kid…'' She made some sort of gesture that indicated she was not taking it well.
''Poor thing.'' The Brit sighed.
Back on the bench, Y/N remained in solitude, staring mindlessly at nothing.
''Hiding?'' The sudden voice of Rose, their physiotherapist, made the youngster flinch.
''Jesus, Rose!'' Y/N exclaimed, her hand on her heart.
Rose chuckled, unfazed by the reaction. ''Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. You looked like you needed a moment.''
''Yeah…''
The older woman nodded at her lack of words. ''It's okay. Take all the time you need. We're doing the huddle in a minute, though, so you might want to join that.''
''Yeah, I will.'' Y/N replied.
Contemplating the upcoming huddle, Y/N's unease heightened when her eyes locked with Kim's on the pitch. The captain started walking over to her with an unreadable expression.
Unable to face the captain she respected so much, she rose from the bench, pretending she hadn't noticed Kim's approach.
Rose watched as Y/N escaped from the interaction with Kim, giving the captain a sad smile.
The teenager's eyes scanned the pitch, Gio's friendly wave caught Y/N's attention, and she decided to make her way towards her friend.
''Tough match, huh?'' She said, trying to offer some solace.
''To say the least.'' The Brit sighed, glancing down at the ground.
''You okay?'' The Brazilian asked, Y/N's darting eyes were anything but subtle.
''Yeah, I just… yeah, I'm fine.'' She stuttered, not having the heart to actually say what she was doing.
Gio could sense Y/N's unease. ''Should I get Beth or Viv?''
''No, no! Just… I don't wanna face them right now.'' She admitted.
''Why?'' The forward didn't understand, knowing how close she was with the couple.
''I just… I- I can't do it.''
Gio nodded anyway. ''Okay, stay with me then. We'll hang back a bit.''
Kathrine joined them as well, the three youngsters keeping each other company while waiting for the entire squad.
In the huddle, Y/N strategically averted her gaze, fixating on the ground beneath her feet.
As Jonas addressed the team, the weight of disappointment pressed heavily on her shoulders, and she struggled to engage fully in the moment.
''I'm proud of this team. We're standing here in a sold-out stadium, and we gave them a fight. We didn't give up and we gave our everything until the end.''
The Swede's words were a mere distant hum. Her mind replayed all the crucial moments of the match, each missed opportunity being screened in her mind.
While the team absorbed Jonas's encouragement, Y/N continued to bear the weight of her perceived failure, the applause and cheers around her a muffled backdrop to the cacophony of self-critical thoughts.
Afterwards, Lotte pulled her in an embrace. Her England teammate's presence being a source of comfort.
The Arsenal homegrowns' moment was interjected by someone grabbing Y/N's arm.
''A goal against Wolfsburg or what?'' The England captain said.
The attempt at light banter didn't quite reach her heavy heart, the teenager simply shrugging her shoulders.
Leah, perceptive as ever, sensed her teammate's unease and tried to give a sense of perspective. ''Hey, you have so much to be proud of. Look at this stadium! This is only the beginning.''
Despite the skipper's encouraging words, tears welled up in Y/N's eyes once again. The disappointment was cemented in her mind.
In the midst of her emotional turmoil, Vivianne and Beth approached, their expressions reflecting heavy concern.
Beth's eyes softened as she pulled Y/N into a gentle hug, aware of the unspoken pain lingering in the air. Vivianne placed a reassuring hand on her back, silently offering support.
''Hey, kiddo, you were absolutely brilliant.'' The elder of the two said, caressing the back of her head.
At the lack of response, she continued. ''It's okay to be upset, sweetheart. You're feeling a lot, aren't you?''
Y/N nodded, her voice catching as she struggled to articulate her feelings. The couple exchanged worried glances, realizing the impact the loss had on their young teammate.
''I'm so proud of you, you gave it your all.'' As Vivianne expressed her pride, Y/N's emotions reached a breaking point.
Sobs escaped her, and she clung tightly to her mentor, seeking refuge in the strength she had always admired.
The Dutchwoman took over from Beth, pulling the youngster even closer to her.
''I'm so sorry, Viv.'' Y/N apologized, full of guilt for not bringing the team to the Champions League final.
As she continued to apologize, Vivianne gently cupped her face and whispered reassuring words. ''Don't apologize. It's not about the result on the scoreboard. You played with your heart, and that's the most important thing.''
Y/N, overwhelmed by emotions, couldn't shake the feeling of letting down those she admired the most. ''I wanted us to win, especially for all of you who couldn't play.'' She mumbled.
''You've made all of us super proud, lieverd. It's a journey, remember? You still have a long way.'' She whispered, her own tears betraying the depth of her emotions.
Leah reached out to rest a hand on the teenager's shoulder. ''Darling, you were without a doubt one of the best players on the pitch.''
''I missed so many shots.'' Y/N stated through a sob.
''And so did the others. Don't carry this on your own, my girl.'' Leah retorted.
Beth and Lotte, recognizing the rawness of Y/N's emotions, instinctively moved to shield her from the intrusive gaze of the cameraman. ''Can you not?'' The defender furrowed her eyebrows.
The players didn't want their teammate's vulnerable moment to be exploited. Fortunately, the crew listened and moved further onto the pitch.
''I made so many mistakes.'' She continued crying. The floodgates had opened and closing them would be a difficult task.
''You didn't, darling. Like Beth said, you were brilliant.'' Leah's own eyes were now being filled with tears, Y/N's self-blame making her emotional.
Y/N shook her head at the skipper's words, hiding her face in Vivianne's neck. ''You were, listen to Leah.'' The Dutchwoman muttered, caressing her back.
''Hey, Y/N. Hey.'' Kim's voice sounded out of, seemingly, nowhere. Leah moved out of the way so the captain could get closer to the teenager. ''You've got nothing to be sad about. You played a fantastic match. Yeah, we didn't get the win, but you've made the club so proud.''
Her voice was stern, but it was a loving sternness. ''Let's go and thank the fans now. They deserve a proper thanks.'' She urged the entire group to do a lap of the pitch.
As the squad gathered together and walked around, the players waved and applauded the fans. The defeat stung, but the bond, not just between the players, but also between the players and the supporters is something special and unbreakable.
Regardless of the result, they're celebrating the players as if they did win and Y/N felt herself smile as she looked into the crowd, and seeing the Gooners experience this with them, with her.
In a quiet moment, Kim approached her again. ''You're creating something special here, Y/N. The way you've got the fans behind you… you're like their own personal star girl. Please, enjoy it,'' the midfielder patted her back, ''because this is what I want you to remember from this match.''
A teary-eyed Y/N, managed to nod her head in appreciation. ''Thanks, Kimmy.''
The pair found themselves holding hands as they continued thanking the fans. It was a beautiful image as it represented the older and new generation of Arsenal; Kim, a captain with years of experience, comforting Y/N, someone who undoubtedly was the future of the Gunners, and could potentially become a skipper in the distant future.
#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso imagine#arsenal wfc x reader#arsenal x reader#leah williamson x reader#vivianne miedema x reader#katie mccabe x reader
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you should do a kate martin x reader fic where they are teammates who’ve been dating for awhile and then accidentally go public!!
yes of course! thank you so much for your request :)
Victorious
pairing: kate martin x teammate!reader
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your eyes fluttered opened and you picked up your phone from your bedside table. it read 6:00 AM. you sighed. it was time to get up. you rolled over and were met with your teammate/roommate/girlfriend’s chest. she just laid they’re staring down at you, “good morning sleepy girl! i’ve been waiting for you to wake up,” she stroked your hair and gave you a kiss on the forehead. “big game today, sunshine. you ready?”
you groaned and buried your head into her chest. “nooooo.” kate got out of bed and dragged you with her. you were upset to leave the comfort and warmth of your bed, but you’d go anywhere she went. she grabbed your hand and led you into the bathroom. the two of you began to brush your teeth.
“you gonna shower?” kate asked, moving her eyebrows are you suggestively. you playfully pushed her shoulder as you wiped the excess toothpaste off your lips. “kate!” you exclaimed and laughed at her antics. she snaked her arms around your waist and gave you a playful grin, “whatttt? it’s for good luck!”
“oh stop. we can celebrate tonight when we win.”
kate’s face grew red and she quickly nodded in agreement. you gave her a wink.
there wasn’t much to do to prepare for your game. it was a home game so there was no need to pack your bags. you and kate had a slow morning, with her cooking you guys some breakfast. you were never a morning person until your mornings started to include kate. she was so gentle with you, and you loved the way she helped you wake up to softness and love every morning. she flipped a pancake on the stove and you walked up behind her, wrapping your arms around her and burying your face into her back.
“mm love you so much, kate kat.”
after breakfast, you did your makeup and lightly curled your hair; kate insisting on putting it into a ponytail herself. you, of course, let her. how could you say no to her? you helped kate put her hair into a ponytail then braided it for her.
in usual kate fashion, she couldn’t keep her hands off of you. physical touch was her love language and she just wanted to hold you. that was something she loved about you, you were always down to snuggle up to her. she lifted you up, sitting you on the bathroom counter and peppered your face with kisses. “why aren’t you more excited, y/n? it’s game day! you’re usually so hyped!”
you sighed and looked up at your girlfriend, a worried expression on your face. “kate, can i ask for your advice about something?” she nodded her head as if to say of course and you continued, “i’m just, well, nervous. i didn’t have a good practice yesterday and i’m just so scared to mess up. i don’t want it to be all my fault if we lose.” you looked up at kate waiting expectantly for her reply. she took your hands in hers and stared into your eyes.
“as your girlfriend, i will always be here to support you, win or lose. i’m so proud of you everyday and i see how much your hard work is paying off, pretty girl. as captain, i need you to know that it’s not ever your fault. this game is a team effort and it will take a team effort to win it. you just need to try your best like i know you will. that’s all anyone’s expecting of you, i promise you that.”
you smiled and wrapped your arms around kate’s neck. “you are seriously so sweet. oh my god, kate i could just kiss you. thank you so much for helping, you actually made me feel so much better.”
“don’t mention it, it’s my job baby! however i will take you up on that kiss offer if you don’t mind me.” she snuck several kisses from you before you had to leave for you game.
when you arrived to the gymnasium, coach had you all circle up and gave you a pep talk. after her words of encouragement, she left caitlin and kate to give their pep talks to you. kate held your hand as she spoke to the team, in a last minute’s effort to stay close to you before the fans and media started arriving and you two had to go back to being just teammates and close friends.
you admired kate’s words of affirmation, earlier in your shared bathroom and now on the court. she really was the glue keeping everyone all together. you stared at her face and counted the freckles on her face, “who knew glue could be so cute?” you thought to yourself.
“uh what was that, y/n?” kate smirked at you. oh. maybe you hadn’t just thought that to yourself.
the game started and things were going a bit rocky at first. you’d fumbled a pass, and missed a shot as well. you wanted nothing more than to just cry into kate’s shoulder. you looked over at her and saw she was looking right back at you. she gave you a smile as if to say, ‘you got this. i’m rooting for you!’. you smiled back and she winked at you. you rolled your eyes playfully. she was going to get the two of you caught if she kept acting like that.
with newfound confidence, you played harder than ever. in the third quarter, you even scored a three! each time you made a shot, you looked over at kate and saw her beaming with pride.
the score was 67-68. you guys were losing by one point. with only 10 seconds left you were worried out of your mind. suddenly, you see the ball being passed to you. you weren’t close enough to confidently shoot it, and you looked to see who was open. low and behold, you see kate’s sparkly eyes staring you. of course there was some bias there, but she was your obvious choice. ‘let’s win this babe’ you mouthed her to and passed the ball to her.
The Sports broadcasters announced the Iowa win and you ran to kate screaming. you both were so happy you actually pulled it off. you were so happy in fact that you forgot you two were just teammates. kate lifted you up and spun you around. “oh my god! we did it!! i love you so much pretty girl i knew we could do it!” and you and your whole team just stared at her, shocked.
it took a moment, but eventually it registered for kate what she had just done. she had just revealed your secret romance to the entire media. “you know what? fuck it” you whispered to partly yourself and partly to kate. “i want everyone to know your mine.”
you grab the neck of kate’s jersey and pulled her face down to yours, kissing her softly but deeply. kate was shocked but lent into the kiss. you smiled into it, imagining what crazy edits this moment would be made into. but you didn’t care. at the end of the day, you had kate. and you had a win. you never knew victory could taste so sweet.
ahh all done i hope you like ittttt! please keep sending requests :)
#kate martin x reader#kate martin#iowa wbb#iowa hawkeyes#paige bueckers#wcbb#wcbb x reader#caitlin clark#caitlin clark x reader
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hi bae, ik youve been going thru a rough patch i hope(in fact ik) you’ll bounce back harder.🫶🏻
i really wanted to make a request for a long long time now, no pressure write it whenever u feel like it i am just going to drop it here.
for me J has always been a Lana del rey song specially the ultra violence album, he’s shades of blue, he’s ultraviolenec, smts hes even brooklyn baby. Can you write something dark, like real dark where hes possessive, violent, exatcly like he was in TDK. Pulling stunts and dropping hints. maybe he kidnappes the reader or smt like that, he’s acting all crazy and violent but something inside him just makes him slip to a lil caring or loving side every now and then, which eventually leads to some serious SMUT 😏😏
the reader could be his enemy’s daughter(maybe even batman’s daughter lol i am going wild) he tortures her,loves her, takes care of her then tortures her a lil more but make no mistake the reader is a fireball she gives him that lil fight they have in her which makes J even more attached to her.
ik i am just blabbing and making no sense, but i hope ukwim. i am also attaching a link to my fav J edit ever which might give u an outline of what i am trying to say. maybe even add J’s POV.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CqyP1PdveA9/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
okay ill shut up now. feel better love you 🫶🏻
His Lighthouse: Broken Dolls (LedgerJoker x f!reader)
Broken Dolls - Oneshot
KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!
I feel ashamed that you had to wait so long for this request. Forgive me times a thousand @heathisbae !! I still love you and I got carried away with the word count. (10,500 words!!) I promise you that my blood, sweat, and tears went into this request. You should've let me stay in my enclosure. I LOVE DARK requests and I was in a dark and lonely place when I wrote this. The perfect mood for Broken Dolls.
Gather round children it’s time to go over some legal stuff. I usually do not care about trigger warnings. You are responsible for your own reading pleasure, BUT I’ll add a TW: List because yall gone need it. Chaos had a lil bit too much fun writing this one.. 👀😬
TW! Dark!Joker. rape, knife, blood, impact, choking, power play, dacryphilia, spitting, biting kinks, unprotected sex, overstimulation if you squint, degradation, no prep (foreplay is important kids) uhhhh… I’m missing something. 🤔 It’s canon Joker people. He’s a walking trigger warning.
Just be careful if you decide to read this one. I know I went overboard but your mental health is always my top priority. Enjoy or not. It’s entirely up to you. Since its a dark request, I decided not to tag anyone except @heathisbae Read at your own risk 🖤✨
Your father made it virtually impossible for anyone to find out. By fate’s design, you looked nothing like the iconic figure you called “father”, and you were forever grateful for that.
Your skin complexion, eye, and hair color masked you from the surname that was your birthright. You were the rumored Wayne heiress that Gotham City whispered about. Many far and wide longed to meet you to strengthen their businesses by marriage, whereas others flat out questioned your conception.
Bruce Wayne had neither confirmed nor denied the mother of any of his children to the world. Not like he ever would. There were only a few secrets Bruce had left in this world: you being the most important one.
Your life would be in danger if anyone were to find out you were a Wayne or worse, the precious daughter of Batman.
Many were adopted into the bat family, but you were blood to Bruce. A last-ditch effort he made to secure his family’s legacy; He hired a surrogate.
Should Batman ever fall in combat, you could pick up the torch and continue the Wayne legacy.
At an early age you wanted to make your father proud and wisely decided not to follow in his footsteps moonlighting as a vigilante. The eldest boys, Dick and Jason, celebrated for days. They loved their half-sister and supported every decision you make, but they would’ve put their foot down should you have wished to don a bat suit.
Instead of violence, you dedicated your life to education. Only the best schools with full ride scholarships—your cv was lengthy as it was profound. You spoke multiple foreign languages, held many accreditations issued from all over the globe, and excelled at virtually every extra-curricular skill you could think of.
You were a hardworking, driven woman with a no-nonsense attitude. That much, you got from your mother.
You dominated any boardroom you entered, and your famous e/c eyes could make or break contracts with a single look. Now that was all your father’s genes. You gave the phrase, beauty and brains, a living breathing, mascot and Bruce couldn’t be prouder.
That unfortunately made you a target.
You shied away from public humanitarian appearances to avoid being recognized as a Wayne. Too many similarities with Bruce would make people curious. Instead, you worked behind a smokescreen and attended the many charities and sponsorship parties as a third-party spectator to oversee your work.
That way, you got to see your hard work being implemented into the community—far better results than your father’s monetary donations provided.
You took pride knowing your hard work was creating a change in Gotham City. With the safeguards Bruce and the boys had in place; it would take an actual genius to put the numerous clues together to uncover your identity. You could live in relative peace while still making a difference.
Sadly, your long forgotten surrogate mother would soon threaten life as you knew it.
Joker prided himself in being a vigilant man. Nothing, not even the smallest of details, went unnoticed by him and when it came to his best friend Batman, J took extra care to notice every little thing.
The level of surveillance Joker did on the dark knight bordered on obsession but in a way, he was. Joker strived to be twelve steps ahead of his arch-nemesis in order to maintain his freedom. Being shipped back to Arkham was not an option, so he took information gathering very seriously.
Joker knew that Batman was Bruce Wayne for years. He was surprised other Gotham villains or just the local law enforcement didn’t put the clues together. It was so obvious.
There was no point in telling the world Batman’s not so little secret, but when Joker studied the daily life of Bruce Wayne a bit further, now that was a blackmail gold mine. Having a one up on Bats just felt good and especially when Joker discovered the perfect weapon that would break the man once and for all.
You.
Tucked away and hidden in plain sight; Y/n Wayne, the perfect tool for Joker’s plans.
A father’s worst nightmare, seeing their child in distress, Joker looked forward to scaring Bruce with this latest prank. All he had to do was get close enough to steal you away, but Bruce kept you protected twenty-four seven. Smart man and Joker didn’t blame his bestie for being a protective father.
There were dangerous people out there who would dream of your demise if they knew the truth!
No, it was much easier to track down your mother and it was mere child’s play to make her talk. Joker thoroughly enjoyed extracting as much information from the woman before her untimely demise.
He found it was unfair that she was virtually defenseless while you had security tighter than most world leaders. It wasn’t fair in Joker’s book, so he set out to put your safeguards to the test.
And what achievement it was to outsmart Batman at his own game.
You should’ve known better. Dad drilled it into your brain time and time again to always be aware of your surroundings.
There was no such thing as a coincidence. Things happened for a reason, and it was up to you to detect any signs of danger at any given time.
The same could be said for that fateful night. You were feeling a bit overwhelmed by a journalist at a charity event. She kept asking probing questions—a few hitting too close for comfort about your identity.
How ironic that you attended every event the rumored Wayne heiress organized and knew so much about her personal affairs. What a coincidence how reporters asked you questions like you were the boss..
The curious woman would not leave you alone! Her mindless chitchat felt more like an interrogation by the minute. You feared your identity was compromised after one of her questions rang true, but she simply laughed it off and said that if you were indeed a Wayne, “You’d be way prettier.”
Whatever that meant.
Perhaps the comment hit hard since your longtime friend/rival, Lana, stole attention from the fund raiser with her scandalous outfit. The brunette reeked of new money and had an ego the size of Metropolis, demanding attention wherever she went.
Her appearance ruined your event for helping orphaned kids and turned it into a mini Met Gala. You had every right for storming out to scream into the back alley. She never failed at ruining things!
You were really letting your frustration be heard when a whistle nearby startled you.
“Listen to the pipes on that one.”
You quickly stopped screaming once you realized that you weren’t alone. A lone male was smoking in the same alley, and he locked eyes with you once he caught your attention.
They were an unnatural green that felt familiar however, you couldn’t place where you might’ve seen them before.
“By all means... don’t let me keep ya from your.. uhh temper tantrum.” He blew a long puff of smoke into the night air.
At first you were in shock, but that reaction soon turned into irritation. Just who did he think he was talking to you like that? “I am not having a tantrum thank you very much a-and... you can’t smoke here!”
He simply chuckled while taking another drag. You crossed your arms and tapped your heels on the concrete as you waited for a response. This guy was something else.
“Hello? Did you hear me?” You added.
“Yup.” He popped the letter p, “Loud n’ clear. Pretty sure this area is ah... employees only. Ya wouldn’t catch me smokin’ if ya weren’t out here being a brat, hm?”
He had a point, but you still scoffed at his choice of words. You had the idea of using your title as the boss of this event to get him fired; yet he would surely talk and by morning, Gotham City would know that you’re a Wayne. That was the last thing you wanted; however, it was worth the hassle if it got rid of him.
For now, all you could do was shake your head at this strange man breaking your employee’s no smoking rule. You personally selected all the staff for the event and your security team performed background checks on everyone to ensure your safety.
The gentlemen sitting before you did not jog your memory.
His presence made you uneasy and you took a step back, “Do I know you?”
He snorted, smoke emerging from his nostrils in comical puffs. “Uh no, but I knoooo~ooow you.”
The blood in your veins ran cold when the stranger stood up and stepped into the light. “Didn’t your dad tell ya not to talk to strangers Miss Wayne?” He said mockingly.
You took one look at The Joker’s grotesque scars and turned to run.
Joker grinned and let you have a running start although you didn’t get far. Your feet got caught in your dress fabric and made his job relatively easy. The two of you tumbled to the ground, Joker landing on your back, but that quickly changed with a sharp elbow to his nose.
You didn’t stick around to see if your hit landed, you just scrambled to your feet and tried to reach for the back door when a hand grabbing your ankle disrupted your sense of balance. One second you were upright, the next, you were on the ground seeing double vision.
Joker didn’t think you’d put up much of a fight. His research into you was limited, but he doubted that you had any of the fighting skills your father was notorious for.
Technically he was right. You had taken up self defense training from Jason and he reported that you sucked at it.
Despite your lack of skills and concussion, you weren’t going down without a fight. One of your nails scratched Joker’s elongated smile causing it to bleed and suddenly, he had enough of your little games.
You were making too much noise, and his window of opportunity to kidnap you was running out. If he didn’t move you soon, his plan would be ruined. You just had to make things difficult for him.
“Alrighty Y/n, time for a little nap. Shhhhh... shh easy now.” Joker dodged your wild punch to his face as he dug a syringe out of his pocket.
The sight of it made you panic and fight back harder but your scream of help was drowned out by a roar of applause from inside. The auction must’ve ended with a success. Joker pierced your skin and watched the milky white substance disappear into your system.
It was cold seeping into your veins as you still tried to fight back.
“Aht ahttttt don’t fight it. Let it happen.” Joker crooned into your ear; not like you could hear him. Your body felt so heavy, you lost function of your limbs so suddenly it was terrifying.
The Joker’s obnoxious laugh sounded miles away from you. When your eyelashes fluttered closed, Joker knew victory was his.
The environment that you woke up in was dark and cold.
Your limbs were still groggy with whatever The Joker had injected you with and after a few test stretches, you still had motion in them. Although it would do you no good. The distinctive sound of metal on metal gave away your current predicament.
You were chained to something.
You tried not to panic but you were unable to see anything a few inches in front of you much less see how far the chain allowed you to move. You felt something solid underneath you and concluded that it was some sort of mattress or padding. It was a small comfort while being confined in total darkness.
Wherever you were, The Joker was to blame, and you weren’t going to let him have this much power over you. You had to find a way out before he started his sick form of entertainment.
Every citizen of Gotham knew Joker’s M.O. You didn’t want to be tortured to death all for a laugh.
You waited until your eyes adjusted to the dim surroundings before exploring how much freedom you truly had.
You felt around in the darkness until your hands bumped into something solid. It was a surface with nothing that could help you escape on it, so you moved on. Minutes felt like hours as you stumbled through the dark, searching for anything useful. Just when you thought you were painting a clear picture of the room in your head, a door opened beside you.
The blinding light was nothing compared to the searing pain of the door hitting you square in the face or that of the trauma caused by falling to the ground.
The room was still spinning when your loudmouth got the better of you.
“What’s your f__king problem?!” You cried out. You feared that your nose was broken, it sure felt like it with the amount of blood you felt gushing out. The Joker didn’t seem phased by the display.
Instead, he stepped right over you and flicked on a light, blinding you in the process. “Errr let’s see... problems. MY problem.. Social injustice? Global warming…uhhh rush hour traffic?” Joker paused for dramatic effect and slowly turned to face you. You froze, feeling his emerald eyes rake over your form hungrily.
The unnatural hue seemed to suck you in the longer you stared. “You.” Joker purred.
“M-Me?” How were you a problem? He abducted you not the other way round!
You had never crossed paths with the Clown Prince of Crime until tonight. The two of you couldn’t be more worlds apart. You stayed nose deep in your humanitarian work and out of any trouble whereas The Joker was trouble personified.
The only thing that linked you to Joker was your father, yet you doubted the clown was smart enough to put all the puzzle pieces together to uncover that.
You prayed that this was all some sort of misunderstanding but judging how The Joker was staring, your hopes began to shatter one by one.
You instinctively shielded your body from the known threat and in doing so, your skin brushed against unknown material. The formal dress you originally wore for the evening was gone and replaced by a thin t-shirt and baggy men’s pants. The implications were not lost on you.
You turned to glare at the madman before you. “Who changed my clothes!?” If you were able to blush, you knew you’d be redder than a tomato.
This man obviously had no respect for women. He simply threw his head back and laughed, “The pleasure is allllllllllll mine.”
You failed at hiding your full body shudder and even worse, you were unable to silence yourself from talking trash. “Screw you.” You regretted saying it the moment you opened your mouth.
The room suddenly got quiet. Joker sauntered his way over to your mattress and crouched down so he could be eye level with you. He admired the fire burning within your e/c eyes for a time. Such a strong wielded fire, it was beautiful to behold. If Joker had his way, there would only be smoking embers after he had his fun. He would make sure of it.
The Joker always had an air of drama about him, and it took center stage as he spoke to you. “Ya wanna.. know something? You should be lucK-yyyy my boys didn’t change ya. They would’ve loved to uh.. what did ya say? Screw you.”
His choice of words held more meaning as he tried to brush a few strands of hair out of your face. You shut down that idea by chomping at his fingers the second they were within your reach.
You refused to sit around like some damsel in destress until dad or one of the boys came to rescue you. You would fight back even if it killed you.
To Joker, your little stunt was comical. You could rebel all you wanted; your antics would never compare to what he had in store for you.
He simply wagged his paint-stained fingers at you like a scolding parent and insulted you further. “Mm, feisty! I like thaT. But that’s no way to behave while you’re here. No noooo. No. You are a verry special guest, Y/n!”
Joker walked over to the table that you found earlier. You watched as he pulled out a tripod and took the time to set up a camera in your general direction. Once it was positioned to his liking, he mashed a button—and to your horror, a red light began to blink.
“Tada! May I present.... Y/n, my lead-ing lady in this uh.. short film of mine! The title you ask? Why it’s, How to Break Batman’s Little Girl 101!”
Joker’s words were like a sucker punch to your gut. They bounced off the thick walls of the room and echoed back in your eardrum's times a hundred. Your worst nightmare was happening right before your eyes. Not only did someone know who you were, but dad’s long kept secret was out—and his arch-nemesis of all people, knew about it.
You were blinking a mile a minute and Joker thought your lips flailing like a fish was oh so adorable. Kissable really but he shook that odd thought away.
He hyped up his performance so much, you weren’t sure if he was addressing you or the camera at this point.
“Oh come now, Y/n. Don’t act so sur-prised! I knew Bats’ secret for years now. We are friends ya know.... Mmm on second thought. Ya might wanna work on the security Batsy.. I just so happened to waltz in and steal your precious.... and might I add.... beau-ti-ful daughter away easy peasy. Did I mention she’s verrrry beautiful?”
You snapped out of your panic by Joker’s fingers grazing your cheek. Your response was instinctive by slapping his hand away. “Don’t touch me!”
Joker wasted no time reacting to your outburst. His gentle touch turned cruel and struck your face hard enough to turn it sideways right into the wall.
He quickly grabbed ahold of your jaw and yanked you back upright. You were forced to bear witness to his self-inflicted scars, all jagged and swollen up close. It was a permanent reminder just how insane this man truly was. Joker’s nails dug into your cheek and for a split second, you genuinely feared this man.
His green eyes were almost electric staring into your soul. “You’re mine now and I’ll touch ya however I want. Got thaT?”
Joker saw the insult queuing up in your brain and squeezed your face tighter in his grasp. You whined but still managed to part your lips to respond. “I’m not yours.” You growled.
A brief staring contest ensued. Green verses your e/c.
Joker admired your bravery; you questioned his sanity. He dressed the part of a gentleman with his three-piece suit and coattails (despite the outlandish colors) yet he was so far removed from the title. He was unpredictable in every sense of the word that you weren’t sure if you would survive a moment longer in his presence.
You were confident that someone would come save you, Joker thought you were too naïve to understand the gravity of your situation. In any case, he would have ample time to extinguish the fire blazing in your eyes before someone started searching for you.
He was so caught up crafting his mental plans, he didn’t notice the glint in your eye right before you bit his hand.
It hardly phased him and for your efforts you received a rough shove towards the ground. Thankfully the mattress softened the blow however you still had the strength to glare at The Joker in disdain.
“Let’s see how long that feisty streak of yours last hmm?” Joker chuckled under his breath and walked over to the door.
The sudden change in brightness blinded you again but this time you caught a glimpse of a bulky man guarding the door before he and Joker disappeared from sight.
Finally you were alone with your thoughts. The first thing you did was let out a shaky sigh and glance at the camera still recording you. The Joker didn’t turn it off and you concluded its sole purpose was to monitor you and collect material for the ransom cd your dad would receive.
You choked back a sob just thinking about dad. He would be beside himself knowing you were abducted. Finding out that his greatest enemy took you would be a low blow—one you hoped he would overcome in order to rescue you. Dick and Jason would steer the detective in the right direction but with every hour that passed, you knew dad would slowly lose his mind. He knew firsthand what Joker was capable of. Your nose throbbed bitterly as a harsh reminder.
There was nothing stopping the clown from killing you if he simply became bored.
If only you took dad’s words to heart and abided by his strict security measures. You had snuck away from your detail for a bit of privacy. Now you regretted that dumb decision. You were in Joker’s clutches with no chance of escape, and it was all your fault.
He chained you to a bedpost like some animal and now that there was light in the room, you could see it in its entirety.
It was a mini prison right down to the bare necessities. The Joker had every intention of keeping you here, cut off from Gotham City, most likely below ground to disrupt the bat tracker embedded in you since childhood.
You scratched at your wrist, praying that it miraculously still worked despite the odds. Surely your father, the world’s greatest detective, could locate his daughter with much less.
It was the only reassurance you had.
You were getting tired overthinking your predicament. There was nothing you could do at present, so with one last hesitant glance at the video recorder, you tried your best to get comfortable on the mattress and fall asleep.
That became your routine. Time held no value anymore.
Was it a few days? Weeks? Longer? How were you to know? You were confined to four concrete walls with no form of contact, save for the ever present blinking red light watching your every move.
You were forced to use the horrendous facilities they called a bathroom, and meals (which were surprisingly great) were brought to your room like clockwork while you were asleep.
You began to look forward to the tray that would magically appear on your table. It was the only connection to the outside world you had, and you didn’t take it for granted.
There was always a special treat on your dinner plate and it never failed at putting a smile on your face regardless of being a prisoner. You tried to keep a grip on your sanity with these small bouts of happiness, but it was obvious what angle Joker was playing at.
He was using isolation to mentally break you and it was working.
You thought being locked away all alone would be easy, but the constant silence was unbearable and before long you began to fear when Joker would return.
Not fearing him specifically, but of what you might do for a sliver of human interaction.
That visit came unexpectedly. You woke up from a nap sensing a presence inside your room. Sadly, you had embraced having hallucinations during your lengthy stay here, but this one felt a little too real.
Something didn’t feel right. “H-Hello?”
The door was still closed with the lights dimmed and there wasn’t a tray of food dropped by, so you glanced near the bathroom area on pure instincts. Nothing was inside the room except that camera that you loathed so much. Its constant flashing light both annoyed and comforted you. At least you weren’t completely alone.
You sighed to yourself and was about to fall back asleep when you felt something move behind you. Joker’s laugh blended in with your scream as you tried to scramble away.
You didn’t get far given that Joker dragged you back towards him.
The last thing you expected after waking up was a man lying in the same bed as you. It was a natural response to freak out, especially since it was The Joker pinning you to the mattress. “YOU SICK F__K! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?”
You didn’t see the way Joker's eyes glazed over or the way his hands tightened around you before he grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Have I lost my… have I.. losT my mind?”
You tried to pry his hands off you, but Joker was just too strong as he continued to repeat your question over and over. His manic laughter was deafening in your ear. “Have I lost my mind, Y/n? Or have you?”
You looked up into pools of jade that glinted mockingly down at you. “What are you...?”
Joker cut you off by directing your gaze to the camera in the room. “Did ya forget I’ve been watching you this entire time doll? Talking to yourself, your uh... hopeless words of affirmation? Oh Dad will come, he’ll come save me! Hang in there, Y/n! You’re so braaaaaave and strong!”’
Joker’s imitation of your voice was cringeworthy as he repeated your own words out loud. He mocked your defiant spirit and hopes of escape as if it was a joke. Strangely enough, Joker’s tone softened, and he sounded sincere with his next angle of attack.
“You just don’t get iT. Daddy’s not coming Y/n. No one knows you’re missing, and nooo one cares either. It’s been a month now doll. If Daddy Bats really cared about his precious daughter, he would’ve rescued you by now don’tcha think?”
Joker was just messing with you. This was another tactic of his to break you down. He was a master of manipulation and his way with words was just as dangerous as his work with knives. His sole existence was to harm others and yet with your fragile state of mind, a part of you believed him.
You couldn’t believe that a month had passed with no one trying to find you. Was Joker telling the truth?
It was too absurd to believe. “N-No.... no dad cares about me. He wouldn't.... he wouldn’t give up..” You whispered. You didn’t know who you were trying to convince here, you or The Joker.
He must’ve seen the doubt starting to creep in for he pushed you a little further. “Are you sure, Y/n? He’s a uh, busy bat! Fighting crime always comes first, you know that better than anyyyyy one. He’s never had time for you...” Joker smiled, watching you blink back tears.
He enjoyed every minute of tearing down your defenses one lie at a time.
He leaned away and bit back a smile when you followed, seeking his contact. You were making this child’s play for him.
“Bats always sent ya away when you were younger. Never letting you err.. blossom to your fullest. He hid you away because you were a failure to him. A mistake. He never cared about you! But guess whaT?”
Joker waited until you looked up into his grassy green eyes. Were they always so expressive or was it your imagination that made them sparkle? It was the first source of human contact you had in who knows how long. You felt special to have The Joker staring at you the way he was.
The air in the room was filled with static energy as you waited for Joker’s next words. You craved validation, acceptance, and attention at a time like this. The Joker had starved you for far too long in isolation.
His hand raised up and softly caressed the side of your face and you missed how his eyes lingered on your lips longer than intended.
“I care Y/n.” He chuckled seeing you pout, “I mean iT! I’ve been so ah.. cruel to ya. I should’ve treated you better. You want me to treat ya better doll?”
Joker leaned forward and kissed both of your cheeks. The contact made you jump and blink up at him in shock. If he couldn’t hear your heart beating wildly, then he was deaf.
You soaked up his form of human contact like a sponge. How long had you been wasting away in this room?
Was it really a month like Joker had said? Right as Joker was leaning down to kiss you properly, you had a moment of clarity.
Who was to blame for you being trapped in here? Why were you here in the first place? The answer was right in front of you, buttering you up with sweet lies and fake affection. Joker was playing you like a fiddle, and you were weak enough to fall for it.
Not anymore.
The Joker was the enemy. He was full of lies. Dad would never abandon you so why were so inclined to believe this green haired clown? No amount of isolation, no form of torture, could break you to believe such. You couldn’t give up so easily. You were a Wayne. You were born a fighter.
Joker’s scarred lips ghosted against yours as you shoved him away. “You are nothing but a liar.”
You enjoyed his brief moment of shock before his eyes cooled into the hard emeralds that they were.
And just like that the act was over. One second you were in the comfort of Joker’s arms, the next you were tossed aside like trash and his true colors were revealed.
He towered over you like a titan as you tried to back away but there was simply nowhere to go. You were at Joker’s mercy, and he spared you none. Each kick to your body made you cry out for Joker to stop but he didn’t listen, rather he laughed and kicked harder.
You grabbed his ankle and begged him to stop but he jerked free and stomped on your wrist in retaliation. The audible crack was background noise to your earsplitting scream— yet it was all music to Joker’s ears.
He enjoyed the pain of others and yours was icing on the cake.
You sounded so pretty, so helpless and filled with anguish. He wanted to hear more. He was obsessed. How far could he push you until you gave under pressure?
Two knocks on the door stole Joker’s attention and his eyes watched as another person entered the room. Joker knew who it was. Anyone else wouldn’t dare enter while he had his fun.
Frost took one look at you sobbing on the floor before he focused his attention back on his boss. “We got trouble.”
Joker rolled his eyes at Frost for interrupting his fun although it was probably for the best. He didn’t want to break you just yet. Slow and steady won the race and he had all he time in the world to do so.
He might’ve went overboard today judging by how you visibly flinched when he moved in your direction, but he knew you’d bounce back defiant as ever. You had to.
“You’ll have to uhh, excuse me Y/n. It seems.. I’m needed elsewhere. Don’t. You. Move.” He patted your head and laughed all the way out the door.
The heavy sound of it closing did little to silence your tears.
The pain was nothing. You were more upset with yourself for not being stronger. Joker was destroying your fighting spirit in record time and you were powerless to stop him.
The bruises never faded, and it made sleeping even more difficult on your worn mattress.
Sure, Joker was considerate enough to cast your broken wrist, but it was a small gesture compared to the verbal and added physical abuse he bestowed upon you daily.
You became Joker’s personal punching bag and there was no end in sight to your suffering.
Each time the door opened, you were forced to endure Joker’s twisted mind games or his heavy hand. It didn’t matter that you were a woman, in his eyes you deserved every ounce of pain that he inflicted. And when he finally left you bleeding and holding back tears, your own thoughts tortured you some more.
Did father really abandon you? How was the world’s greatest detective, renowned for his state-of-the-art technology and gadgets, unable to locate his only daughter?
The days blended together and all the hope you originally had of being rescued, diminished.
The Joker enjoyed his daily visits with you but he could tell that it wasn’t enough. Your body was obviously battered yet your mind remained intact.
You still possessed a thread of hope that made you defiant to the end. You spat in Joker's face whenever he was in range, and you rolled your eyes at his half-hearted jokes about killing you.
“Then do it.” Your snide remarks often led to more beatings that did little to fulfill Joker’s goal.
Nothing seemed to be working to ultimately break you, so he decided to try a different angle.
You woke up to the smell of food in the air. Your stomach growled in want, but the reset of your body hurt too much to move. You debated skipping eating all together in favor of rest however that choice was made for you.
“Sit up.”
His voice. The root of all of your problems. You didn’t have the strength to be bothered with him today.
Joker waited for you to move yet when you remained lying down, he became agitated. “I won’T re-peat myself doll.”
Your voice cracked with your response. “I can’t. It hurts.” You just wanted to be left alone, to hurt in peace but Joker controlled everything here. As if you had a choice to begin with.
“Lemme help you.”
Just hearing the offer gave you the strength to flip over to face him. Surely he was joking. He wanted to help you?! After all he did? Screw the consequences, you had to speak your mind.
“Help me? You want to help me? Okay then. Go away! Far… far away and leave me alone! Or even better! Let me go! What’s the point of keeping me here? What do you want from me?!”
During your speech you began to cry and Joker (for the first time in his life) felt guilty. Your timeless beauty was marred by cuts and bruises that he caused, and he couldn’t justify his actions for creating them.
Somewhere along the way Joker lost focus of the mission.
It was all a game— to get at Batman but along the way Joker saw how strong you truly were. Anything he tossed your way, you deflected it with ease. You never faltered, never lost hope. Even now as you lay weak and hungry, your eyes set him ablaze.
You had won, he just didn’t know at what.
Joker didn’t know what else to do with this failed experiment of his. One thing was certain, he wasn’t letting you go. There was something about you that he couldn’t put his finger on.
Your rant fizzled off as you stared at Joker.
There was an odd gleam in his eyes that you were wary of. He looked lost in thought and when he snapped to, you were shocked to see a genuine smile appear on his lips.
You feared what his thoughts could lead to.
To mask your fear, you rolled your eyes at his lack of an answer and reached for your dinner tray. Your groan of pain made Joker wince. Were you really in that much pain?
Without thinking, he smacked your hand away and stabbed a portion of food with the provided fork. The two of you stared at each other in silence waiting for the other to make a move.
“I can feed myself.” You grumbled.
Joker gave you an, ‘are you sure about that’ look and tapped the fork to your lips.
Just thinking about moving used up too much energy and your muscles begged for you to take him up on the offer. The Joker, Gotham City’s notorious criminal, wanted to feed you dinner; who were you to deny him?
You begrudgingly opened your mouth while looking away from his smug green eyes.
The act was so demoralizing, but you kept your cool while chewing in silence and opening your mouth for the next morsel.
Just to be cheeky, you closed your lips around the fork and refused to let go. Joker didn’t think it was funny but he entertained your bratty behavior nonetheless. He considered stabbing your tongue—but thought against it. There was no need to be violent.
He was trying a different angle to this whole hostage situation he created. Your defenses were down tonight and he would be a fool not to take advantage of them.
A quick glance to his right confirmed that the video camera was still recording. Perhaps it was time to send a message to daddy dearest and make some progress.
You were under the impression that Joker was taking pity on you with his nice guy act. He was patient, feeding you bites of food and not shoving it down your throat like he’d done in the past when you tried starving yourself.
He was being.. (dare you say it) nice. You should’ve known it was too good to be true.
He finished feeding you and you thought he was moving onto the slice of cake that was on the tray. You had been eyeing it since Joker uncovered it and you licked your lips thinking about the delectable treat.
It would have to wait. There was an ominous shift in the air that completely blindsided you.
Joker didn’t know what came over him. He didn’t have any plans when he entered your room tonight. It was supposed to be a simple food drop—nothing more, but the moment his eyes landed on you curled up on the mattress resting so beautifully, what left of his demented mind, checked out early.
This past month and a half was filled with harsh lessons and far too many close calls. Batman and his ban of birds did everything in their power to find you and they almost succeeded once or twice.
Thankfully Joker was smart enough to place you inside a shipping container so you could always be mobile and out of reach. You hardly noticed the frequent moves since he coordinated them during your sleeping hours. It also ensured your meals were always hot and fresh since they could just travel to wherever Joker deemed fit to your standards.
Everything was planned down to the smallest detail, everything except developing feelings for you.
Now that was out of Joker’s control.
Underneath the clown façade, Joker was still a man and you were absolutely stunning with your aristocratic beauty and educated mind.
Your fierce personality drew him in despite you being a means to an end. You were supposed to be a form of entertainment, a toy until Joker got bored and let Batman have his daughter back but over time, Joker became attached to you in an unhealthy way.
You were Joker’s property, his special secret hidden from the world to do with as he so pleased.
He stopped hitting you and allowed you time to heal due to some unknown form of guilt. More and more tasty desserts were included with your meals to make up for his abusive behavior, and unbeknownst to you, Joker watched you sleep every night.
There was something soothing watching you blissfully unaware of the monster in your bed. He could slit your throat in your sleep but he didn’t. No, that would be a waste.
Joker found it better to sleep beside you and hold you close. He knew you would freak out if you knew all the liberties that he took while you were asleep.
From tracing your major arteries with a knife to leaving lipstick marks all over your skin—his feelings for you were disturbing and perfectly justified in his opinion.
Joker didn’t want the traditional lovey dovey crap most couples shared because he wasn’t normal. He wanted to own, to control, to destroy you completely and then protect the broken pieces that remained.
There was no concept of love in Joker’s mind and there never would be. Seeing you so docile as he fed you was the breaking point. He got a taste of your submissive side and craved more.
Why couldn’t you just give in and break already? You brought this upon yourself. You forced Joker to do this.
He blocked out the sound of your cries and wrestled your arms down to onto the mattress. His only goal was to get you naked and when you began to struggle more, he took matters into his own hands.
Joker grabbed the army knife from his pocket and sliced your clothes off. One motion caught your skin and you howled as the sharp metal tore it open. Joker saw red bubble to the surface and dove down to lick you clean.
He didn’t like hearing your voice filled with pain. It distracted him from getting hard and after staring you in the eye, you quickly got the message. Keep quiet or else.
You tried not to make a sound louder than your whimpers. You didn’t want to provoke Joker’s wrath.
“Much better. So pretty.” Joker hummed to himself when you were laid bare beneath him although he frowned seeing tears staining your cheeks. “Shhhhhh, hey hey. Look at me... Behave and it won’t hurT.”
He watched your lip wobble as you remained quiet. Your wrists were being held down by Joker’s hand, leaving you powerless to squirm away and he loved the power scale tipping in his favor. Good. You would always be beneath him.
He struggled a bit to unzip his fly but managed to get his cock out without letting you go. A shame you were being bratty and didn’t prepare yourself for this. He really had to do everything around here.
Joker spat on his hand and worked it up and down his cock, groaning to himself at the feeling. His eyes roamed over his doll and admired your beauty mid stoke. You had curves in all the right places that begged to be fondled. He wanted to touch them, but if he let go of your hands, you would act out.
He could see the fire burning in your eyes. If he gave you an inch, you’d take a mile.
Yet it was criminal not to mark you up the way he wanted.
Joker sighed as he lined himself up with your pussy. You panicked and tried moving away from his tip tapping your opening with heavy slaps to no avail.
“Are ya gonna behave doll?”
He shifted his weight and applied more pressure on your healing broken wrist when you continued to rebel. The searing pain made you bite your lip and cease struggling altogether.
“Now. Are you gonna be a errr.. good doll for me n’ stay realllllllly still?” Joker sang.
Your lip curled back, ready to cuss him out, instead a loud scream took escaped your lips as Joker began to force his way inside your dry entrance.
It burned. It ached. He was tearing you apart and you shook your head in agony as it continued without end. You didn’t think about the consequences, you bucked your hips away from the unwanted invasion.
You knew you were in trouble the moment Joker said your name in warning.
“What. Did. I just say doll? Dumb b___h.”
Joker let go of your wrists to hold your hips instead. Once he found purchase, he began thrusting in and out of your pussy. His pleasure was your torment. Your silent tears spurred him on and he swatted your hands away that tried to push him off.
Nothing would stop him after he got a taste of you. He was an idiot for not taking you sooner.
“Haha, you’re grippin’ me soooooo tight doll. Ease up for me!” Joker groaned louder to drown out your pathetic pleas. He would not slow down; you were too perfect to stop now.
He noticed the camera in the corner and got an idea. “Are ya enjoying yourself, doll? Why don’tcha give the ah.. a-audience a good show? Go on. Tell him how you feel.”
You forgot all about the recorder in the room! Your sharp gasp was music to his ears. You tried to turn away, but Joker would have none of that. He grabbed your jaw and forcibly turned your face towards the lens. Your tears were a paid actor for his production.
“Ya see that Bats? ThaT, oh f__k... t-that is the face of your failure. She’s all mine and I’m gonna take ahaha.. verrry good care of her. All mine.. d__n it..” Joker choked back a moan and licked the tears from your face as he sped up his thrusts. If he kept this up, he would cum before the fun really started. Although he shouldn’t have to be the only one getting off.
With a smug grin, he snaked a hand down to rub messy circles on your clit.
The response was instantaneous. You threw your head back with a mewl on your tongue. He felt the result of his adventurous touch the same time you let out an unexpected moan. “Oh? Ya like that doll?” He mocked.
He laughed at you trying to deny deny deny but your body was speaking on your behalf.
You tightened around him and he felt the slick begin to coat his cock. He arched an eyebrow at the sudden turn of events. You really were enjoying this. He wondered...
He stroked your clit faster and was rewarded by another sweet moan gracing his ears. His doll made the prettiest sounds under distress. He could see the confusion dancing across your features.
“Ohhhhhh Bats! You have a naughty.. naughty girl! Enjoying my touch after begging me to stop just minutes ago? Ah.. mmm, it's okay doll! M-Moan louder. Enjoy ittt, I know I am. Mm, you feel better the uh wetter you become.”
Joker stopped mid thrust when you clenched down unexpectedly on him. Were you trying to crush him to death?
He wondered if you could feel him throbbing in your pussy. Your tiny fists were beating on his clothed chest but there was no point in pretending.
You were enjoying yourself and if he was correct to assume, you were getting close. You just needed a little push and Joker had just the thing.
“I knew you were secretly a whore. Only dirty sluts get off on being used like a toy. Hehe. It's a-always the quiet ones f__k!” Joker chuckled to himself followed by a shuddering groan. You were very close. He had to act fast.
Without warning he bit down hard on your shoulder. You moaned out before covering your mouth with your hand. It was too late; Joker already knew what kind of woman you were. He bit harder and rejoiced as blood bubbled up to the surface to coat his lips. Finally, he was marking you up the way you deserved.
He sped up his thrusts, laughing at the sloppy sound of wet skin on skin in the room. His cock happily slid in and out of your pussy now that you were horny.
You were shaking your head in denial even as your legs shivered on Joker’s shoulders. He licked the fresh bite mark clean before whispering in your ear.
“Let go Y/n. Shatter into a thousand tiny lit-tle pieces— and when you snap them back together, I'll be righT here to ruin you all over again. And again. And again. I will always break you just the way you need. The way you deserve. So go on. Do itttt. B-Break for me.... For us.”
Joker thought you were beautiful before, seeing you admit defeat and cum was a vision from heaven.
Your cheeks darkened in color as your lips parted like the sea to allow carnal bliss to fall from its depths. You twitched uncontrollably in Joker’s hold, and he was more than happy to pull you in close as you fell apart on his cock.
You rode the wave of pleasure and swept Joker along with the force. He was caught off guard by your tightening cunt and came with your name a whisper on his lips.
No drug could ever compare to the high you gave him.
He saw new sounds and heard colors that he couldn’t name. His breath came in short pants as he came down. Words failed him, his head was still too foggy to process the world around him.
What could one say after an orgasm that intense? He just came inside your quivering hole, and he already wanted to do it again.
He couldn’t find the energy to even think coherently! All he could do was flop down next to you and sort out his senses in the right categories.
His paint-stained hands wandered aimlessly and began playing with the ends of your hair, much to your horror. While Joker floated in post-coital bliss, you fell back to your harsh reality.
You let this monster have sex with you and even worse, you enjoyed it.
You felt dirty, cheap, a literal failure. You allowed The Joker to touch you, to make you feel good. You came from his ministrations. God, you could feel him softening inside your used pussy. Your inner thighs felt sticky, and you shuddered realizing that The Joker came inside you. The room began to spin as you spiraled into a panic attack.
What would dad think when he found out? What if you became pregnant with this monster’s child. You felt sick to your stomach and feeling Joker playing with your hair, as if nothing was wrong, tipped you over the edge.
“Don’t touch me!” You wailed. Your shout made Joker come to and instinctively hold you closer to his chest. He wasn’t quite sure what was going on inside your head, but you didn’t have to be so loud.
“Doll... I ahh uh, already touched ya.” He rubbed up and down your back despite you flinching from his touch.
You made eye contact with the video recorder in the corner and Joker curiously followed your gaze. Oh. That would explain your sour mood. You were smart and deduced what he would do with the footage. “Listen Y/n..”
A knock at the door interrupted Joker’s sentence. He didn’t move an inch as he granted whomever on the other side entry.
You tried maintaining your modesty but it was a useless effort. You were bare as the day you were born in Joker’s arms and he wasn’t letting you go.
Joker’s henchman walked in and struck a conversation with the clown, pretended as if you didn’t exist. You wanted to crawl into a hole and die you were so embarrassed.
You didn’t notice what was going on until Joker snapped his fingers in your face. “Huh?”
Joker rolled his eyes at your lack of awareness. He sat up straight and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “I said..... take a bath while I’m gone. I uh.. took your chain off for ya.”
He pointed at your bare ankle that was in fact free of the heavy metal. You twisted your leg, feeling the freedom granted to you.
You wanted to thank Joker but he was already walking out the door with his henchman. And just like that, you were alone. The silence was unbearable as the full reality hit you full force.
You didn’t fight back. Why did you give in so easily? Why did you miss the warmth of Joker body against yours? Just what was wrong with you for craving his touch?
Screw taking a bath, you ran straight towards the toilet to empty your stomach.
Sleep did not come to you when your mind was abuzz with doubt.
You paced the room while biting your nails and reliving your time spent with Joker over and over. You were beyond restless thinking about your uncertain future. What would Joker do now that he got what he wanted?
Would you be killed off and discarded like trash? Would your family be given the chance to mourn your passing? Would they even know what became of you? There were too many questions and not enough answers. One thing was for certain, you refused to sit around and wait for your fate.
For some unknown reason Joker removed your chain. It was a sliver of hope that you planned on exploiting.
The heavy metal door loomed in the distance. Before it served as a reminder of how trapped you were; now it was a shining beacon of hope. Either coincidental or simply a miracle, Joker also took the elusive camera with him. Nothing was stopping you from running, and nothing was holding you back.
Joker had slashed your clothes to ribbons but the woolen blanket on the mattress was still intact for you to wrap around your body.
It left you feeling far too exposed, but you had no other option available. Once covered, you padded over to the door and turned the handle to freedom.
The hallway was dark and ominous before you.
You weren’t sure if you wanted to venture into the unknown. You looked at the barren cell you were forced to inhabit and back into the dark void, weighing the odds.
You took the first step, then another, and another until you were walking with haste—desperately searching for an exit.
Your heart was beating loudly in your ears as you stumbled across a door with light poking out underneath the frame. It was the only lead you had so far towards an exit. You slowly pushed it open and regretted it instantly.
The room full of men all stopped their various conversations to stare you caught like a deer in headlights in the doorway. You quite literally walked into a den of wolves.
“Well well. Look what we have here!” One guy catcalled.
They all leered at your body poorly wrapped up in a blanket. It was obvious your purpose here at their hideout. Free entertainment.
The door slammed shut behind you, trapping you again, only this time in far more hostile conditions. You berated yourself for leaving the safety of your cell if this was the cost. You could barely defend yourself against Joker. There were too many men here to even consider escaping.
You backtracked right into a broad chest and the male laughed at you already cowering in fear.
He roughly pulled your hair while another pair of hands ripped your blanket away to knead your breasts. Whistles and laughter broke out in the room at the sight. “The Boss been keepin’ this from us!? Look! She’s freshly used too!”
You screamed as fingers stabbed their way into your cunt and explored inside. Their hands weren't like Jokers. There was no pleasure to be gained here and unlike before, your body did not warm up to the stimuli.
You were in pain as they groped and fondled your body and despite Joker being the origin to all your problems, you cried out his name to save you.
Someone yanked your hair again before shattering all your hopes with a handful of words. “Ya think the boss is gonna help you? You are nuthin’ to him! Just a warm hole for him to use. And now it's our turn.”
You closed your eyes to block out the pain. The last of your fighting spirit faded away as a lone tear rolled down your cheek.
Frost and Joker were waking back towards your room when they heard the loud commotion coming from the common room.
It was well in the night and nothing of note should’ve excited the men to be so rowdy. Most of them should’ve been on patrols in the first place.
Frost merely shrugged his shoulders and followed his Boss.
Curiosity killed the cat, but Joker was not so simple minded. He knew something was wrong. He wasn't religious by any means, but he prayed that this didn’t involve you.
He barged into the common room ready to scold his men when his worst fears came to light.
Joker didn’t think, he simply acted until nothing else stood in his way to get to you. Frost could handle the aftermath of his rage—you were the only constant in Joker’s mind the second he opened the door and saw you in distress.
He left you just a few hours prior, safe and accounted for in your room. He left to prepare better accommodations to reflect your newfound status in his life. Joker took great care of his possessions, and you deserved better than being tucked away in some dingy shipping container. You didn’t belong on the floor like a cheap whore. No, you were worthy to be displayed, dressed up like the doll Joker wanted you to be.
Never did he imagine he would return to this.
He fought his way to your side and fell to his knees by your side. His green eyes were wide with an unknown emotion as they took in your battered form.
He didn’t want to touch and accidentally hurt you any further yet something about the thousand-yard stare in your eyes told him you were no longer here to feel anything at all. Joker knew how ruthless his men were, but this was barbaric.
He didn’t regret killing them after what they done. His only remorse was not making them suffer more before death.
Joker gathered you up in his arms and tried shaking you back into focus. “Y/n? Y/n, c'mon doll! Look at me.. s-say something!?” He pleaded.
You mumbled something inaudible and curled up into a ball.
Rage. Guilt and surprisingly shame. Joker’s mind was wild with this flood of new emotions.
He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t have a single cell of compassion in his body, yet the sight of his newest toy utterly broken (and not of his own doing) had him feeling remorseful.
“I... I don’T.. I...” Joker gathered his thoughts with a deep inhale.
Frost watched the intimate scene while kicking over a body. It was a bloody mess in here; however, that had to wait.
Frost could tell his Boss needed some assistance. “I’ll run a bath.” Frost said offhandedly.
It would point Joker in the right direction at least rather than rocking you back and forth on the floor to no avail. The comment snapped Joker out of his musing.
Emerald eyes roamed over your sleeping form. “Bath. Y-Yeah uh she needs a uh.. bath.”
He nodded to himself and slowly rose to his feet to carry you out of the common room. He passed up your old room in favor of his own that had more privacy. Not like it would matter. You had yet to speak.
This was not the outcome Joker had planned. Even after he washed you clean and tucked you into bed— he sat by your side contemplating his next move.
You were no longer the shiny doll he wanted on his shelf. His own men had ruined you. They took away your feisty demeanor and all conscience thought from you that made this game fun.
Joker tried to get you to speak, to react to anything, but you remained stagnant, blinking owlishly at the wall until sleep finally took you. Nothing of the defiant Y/n that Joker had grown to like remained.
You left him with no other alternative. He got what he wanted, and it was time to move on.
In three more days, it would mark your two-month long disappearance. Bruce would be a liar if he said he didn’t count the days if not the minutes that you were gone.
He blamed himself for your capture and the boys tried their hardest to steer him in the right direction and not spiral into depression. Bruce loved all his children, but you were his by blood. You held a special place in Bruce’s heart and as such, he spent every waking second trying to find you.
No expenses were spared, and any lead (no matter how small) were investigated. Joker was smart, but Bruce was smarter. He would find you.
Dick and Tim investigated a possible lead and discovered where you were originally being held. You still had a sweet tooth and your favorite bakery recognized your custom order being placed and tipped off Wayne Enterprises about the person who picked it up.
Unfortunately, The Joker moved you before Batman could arrive at the location but now they knew you were still alive. It strengthened their hopes in finding you safe and sound.
Numerous rescue attempts were thwarted in the following weeks, but they never gave up. There would be another lead, they would have another chance to save you.
All hope was not lost.
Their patience was rewarded the day the Batcomputer picked up a signal on your tracker. It was finally online for the first time in months. Everyone scrambled to assemble at the pinned location. Bruce was ready for a fight and mentally prepared himself to do anything necessary to get you back.
None of the boys were prepared to arrive at the back of your office building. It seemed to be a mistake, it had to be. Was Joker sending them on a wild goose chase? Bruce scanned the area but there was only one faint heat signature detected. His nerves were on edge, already assuming the worst.
Bruce’s heart stopped beating when he saw a body lying in the delivery drop-off/ loading area. He didn’t wait for the others to secure the area. His father instincts were in overdrive as he rushed to your side, calling out your name.
You were unresponsive with only a tattered blanket covering your shivering form. That’s when Bruce saw the bruises painting your body and the cast still present on your wrist. He didn’t want to believe that this battered woman was his spit-fire daughter.
You were a shell of your former self when Bruce finally roused you awake. The fire that once blazed intently within your e/c eyes was gone and it was evident what The Joker did to you.
“Bruce, look.” Dick said as he picked up something near your feet.
Scattered around your body was a deck of playing cards. On the joker card a note was written in red.
You can have her back Bats; I don’t like broken dolls.
#trigger warnings#read at your own risk#other warnings in the post#dark content up ahead#time to get dark#thanks for the ask!#ledger joker#ledger joker x reader#dark!joker#ledger!joker x reader#heath joker#black!fem!reader#reader insert#joker smut#the dark knight joker#ledger joker smut#dark knight joker#cross posted on wattpad#cross posted on ao3#joker x y/n#tw#joker x black!reader#joker x you#joker x reader#ledger!joker x black!reader#ledger!joker#read at your own discretion
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~♡~Dating the Mikaelsons~♡~
One-Shot Edition
18+ ---- {Masterlist}
♡A date with Kol♡
You are drowning your sorrows at the bar, but Kol has an idea on how to cheer you up...
In celebration of getting to one-hundred followers♡ I wrote some smutty one-shots based on my dating the mikaelsons headcanons.
♡ Thanks for all the love and support ♡ Warnings: smut, drinking, riding, face sitting...Kol saying darling a lot... {Part One -Klaus} ♡ {Part Three - Marcel} ♡ {Part Four - Elijah}
Leaning against the bar, the neon lights flickering around you, you let out a big sigh. The bitter taste of your drink matched the bitterness in your heart.
You had been stood up, and usually, these situations wouldn't get to you, but tonight felt different. You had invested time in those back-and-forth messages, letting your walls down and you actually believed he would be different. The worst part was that he had suggested meeting at the club, only to not show up.
As you drowned your sorrows in the dimly lit ambiance, a voice cut through the thumping music. "Looks like you could use some company," he said, a wild glint in his eyes as he slid onto the barstool next to you.
He signaled the bartender and ordered another drink for you. "On me," he added with a charming grin. The scent of his cologne and the warmth of his presence filled the air, momentarily diverting your thoughts.
"So, what's got you looking so troubled?" he inquired, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. "A pretty little thing like you should be enjoying the night."
You gave him a sweet smile, his charm melting the ice around your heart. "Just a case of being stood up, no big deal," you replied, giving him a casual shrug.
He chuckled, the sound resonating in the lively atmosphere. "Well, anyone who stands up someone as captivating as you must be blind or daft." The drink he ordered arrived, and he slid it over to you. "To lift your spirits."
Taking a sip, you felt a warmth spreading through you, not just from the alcohol but from the unexpected camaraderie. The neon lights played on his features, casting intriguing shadows as he leaned in, an amused gleam in his eyes.
"Tell me about this fellow who dared to stand you up," he prompted.
"He's not worth the effort," you chuckled, reaching your hand out to him. "Thanks for the drink?" you questioned.
"Kol, darling, and you're quite welcome," he replied with a smirk, taking your hand in his and bringing it to his lips. The feel of his warm, soft lips made a shiver run down your spine, and he smirked, knowing the effect he had on you.
"So, what has this scoundrel done to deserve such ire?"
"You really want to know?" you questioned, and his eyes crinkled in amusement.
"I would not have asked otherwise."
The drinks kept flowing and you found yourself divulging all the sordid details. To his credit, he listened intently, only interjecting a comment here and there.
By the time you had finished recounting your tale, you were both laughing and enjoying each other's company.
"Well his loss is my gain," he remarked, flashing you a smile that made your heart skip a beat. "Would you care to dance?"
Graciously accepting his hand, he led you to the dance floor, the music pulsing through the air. With his hands on your hips and yours around his neck, the two of you swayed to the beat, the heat rising between you.
Your body was pressed against his, and as the music flowed, his gaze drifted from your eyes to your lips. Leaning down, his mouth claimed yours in a searing kiss, making your head spin. Your tongues danced together as your hands tangled in his hair.
Breaking the kiss, he gazed down at you with lust-filled eyes. "Want to get out of here?" he purred, his voice sending a wave of anticipation through you. Nodding your head, you let him lead the way.
Walking hand in hand, the two of you headed out of the club, the cool air refreshing after the heat of the dance floor. The streets were quiet, the streetlamps casting a warm glow, and the world was your own as you headed towards your apartment. You both were a little drunk, swaying into each other and giggling like teenagers as you stumbled down the street.
You fumbled the key in the lock before opening the door to your apartment, you made your way inside, kicking off your shoes as he removed his jacket, closing the door behind him. You walked to the kitchen, grabbing two glasses of water and offering one to him.
"Thank you, darling," he murmured, taking a sip of water, his eyes never leaving yours. He set his glass down and moved towards you, his fingers running along your jawline before cradling your face and bringing your lips to his in a hungry kiss.
Your hands instinctively reached up, roaming his body, tracing his well-defined muscles and pulling him closer. He gripped your waist and picked you up with ease, placing you on the counter. His hands ran up your thighs, his fingertips leaving a trail of fire in their wake. He kissed down your neck, eliciting a soft moan from your lips.
"I always found dating apps a bit useless to be honest," he teased, his voice husky and low.
"Why's that?" you breathed, your hands tangling in his hair as his teeth grazed your collarbone.
"Well, it seems much more efficient to just go to the source," he drawled, his eyes darkening as his lips brushed your ear.
Your hands traced the muscles of his arms, tugging on the fabric of his shirt. "Is that so?" you whispered, as his lips ghosted over your jawline.
"Mmhmm," he murmured, his mouth capturing yours again. Your lips melded together, the intensity growing.
"Tell me, darling," he panted, breaking the kiss and gazing at you with an intense hunger. "Did you imagine your night going like this when you decided to swipe right?"
You laughed, your chest rising and falling with every breath. "Not exactly, but I'm not complaining," you quipped, earning a smirk from him.
Your hands roamed over his toned chest and abs, the heat pooling in your core. You pulled his shirt off, your hands exploring his smooth skin, admiring his defined muscles.
His fingers trailed along the hem of your shirt, slowly lifting it over your head, and tossing it aside. His gaze drank in the sight of you, his tongue running along his lips.
"Fuck, darling, you are stunning," he purred, his hands sliding under your skirt, pushing it up as his fingers teased your skin.
You giggled, the alcohol making your cheeks flush more than usual. "Such a charmer."
"It's easy when it's the truth," he grinned, his mouth claiming yours again.
He pulled you to him, your legs wrapping around his waist, and he carried you to the bedroom. He laid you down on the bed, his eyes hungrily taking in the sight of you.
"Now, let's see how long we can keep that smile on your face," he mused, his accent thick with lust.
He made quick work of the rest of your clothes, leaving you bare beneath him. He leaned over you, his hands exploring your body, leaving no inch untouched.
He began to trail kisses downwards, his mouth reaching your core, and he began lapping at your clit, moving his tongue in slow circles. He let out a gentle hum as he tasted you, his hands gripping your thighs and pulling you closer to him.
Your hands tangled in his hair as his mouth devoured you, your moans filling the air. He pulled back, wiping his chin on your thigh, looking up at you with a smirk.
"I have a request," he drawled, his eyes shining.
"And I promise I will make it worth your while."
You quirked an eyebrow at him. "And what might that be?"
He grinned, his lips curling upwards, his gaze dark and seductive. He moved up your body, his mouth brushing against your ear, his warm breath tickling your skin.
"Let me show you," he whispered, his voice thick with desire.
Your curiosity was piqued, and you nodded, giving him the green light. He deftly flipped the both of you around, so you were on top of him.
"Sit on my face, darling," he rasped, the words sending a wave of heat through your body.
You blushed, the request making your pulse quicken. You straddled his face, your knees on either side of his head, his strong hands gripping your thighs.
His tongue darted out, tasting you, and a moan escaped your lips as his tongue explored you. He roughly pulled you closer, the sudden movement taking you by surprise. You let out a surprise gasp as his tongue found your clit, the feeling driving you wild.
"Oh," you moaned, your hands gripping the headboard as his tongue swirled. Your thighs began to tremble, the pressure building, his touch making your head spin.
He let out a muffled chuckle, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure through your body. His tongue delved deeper, tasting you, his eyes closed in ecstasy. You ground against his mouth, his stubble grazing your sensitive skin.
His fingers dug into your thighs, leaving marks on your flesh as he held you in place, his mouth ravaging you. Your hips rolled against his tongue, your moans filling the room.
Your head tilted back, your body writhing as the pleasure washed over you. Your thighs tightened around his head, your fingers gripping the headboard as you let out a low moan, the sound reverberating throughout the room.
You rode out the waves of pleasure, your legs trembling. You gasped for breath, the feeling overwhelming. You released the headboard, your hands running through his hair as his tongue lapped up the last traces of your orgasm.
"Fucking hell, Kol," you panted, the words coming out in a rush. You moved down his body, pressing your lips against his, the taste of you still lingering on his tongue.
He gave you a wicked grin, his eyes dark and hooded. "I told you I would make it worth your while," he murmured, his fingers trailing up and down your back.
You peppered kisses along his jawline, your teeth grazing his skin. He let out a soft groan, his grip tightening on your hips. You moved further down his body, planting kisses along his skin, stopping at his abs.
You reached his hips, his erection straining against his jeans. You unbuttoned them and slowly pulled the zipper down, his eyes locked on yours.
You pulled his jeans and boxers down, his erection springing free. You took him in your mouth, his head tilting back in pleasure. You swirled your tongue around the tip before lightly sucking, making him moan. You pulled off of him, a thin string of saliva connecting you. You moved back up his body, straddling his hips, looking down at him with a smile.
"I like it when a woman takes charge," he purred, a devilish glint in his eyes. He moved back a bit to sit against the headboard, and you moved with him, taking his cock in your hand and slowly stroking him. As you circled your thumb around his tip, he threw his head back and groaned, then thrusted his hips, seeking more. You gave him a sexy smile as you positioned his cock at your dripping entrance and lowered yourself onto him. His eyes screwed shut, and he exhaled deeply, relishing the feeling of being inside you.
Fully seated on him, you began to grind your hips in circles, letting out soft moans as your clit rubbed against his pelvis. You steadied yourself on his shoulders and slowly started riding his cock, his hands gripping your hips and helping to guide your movements. You smiled as you watched his face twist in pleasure, his lips forming a small o. The feeling of him inside you was divine, hitting just the right spot. The sounds of your moans and his soft curses echoed off the walls as you picked up the pace.
"You like that?" you breathed, smirking, as his eyes met yours, lust clouding his expression. He merely nodded, his lips parted, before biting his lower lip, throwing his head back against the headboard again.
"Do you want me to go faster?" you teased, changing your pace and moving your hips in a torturously slow motion, causing him to growl in frustration. He dug his nails into your hips, his chest heaving.
"Darling,.." he pleaded, his voice breaking. You could feel him throbbing and twitching inside you, desperate to go harder. Grinning, you increased the pace of your movements, causing him to moan in both relief and pleasure.
"Yes, like that... just like that...," he mumbled, his mind clouding with ecstasy. You repositioned your legs and began to bounce up and down on his cock, throwing your head back in bliss. The sounds that escaped him were animalistic as his fingernails raked across your hips, surely leaving marks. This only spurred you on as you increased the pace even more—the sound of your skin slapping against his every time you slid down on him, the feeling of him stretching you driving you wild.
You began to pant, your legs getting sore, but you were determined to give it all you had. His cock was hot and heavy inside you, hitting all the right places. You were close, and you could feel the familiar tightening within you and you closed your eyes.
"Fuck," you moaned, your movements faltering as your sore legs struggled to keep the pace. Suddenly you felt the sharp sting of a slap on your ass, your eyes shot open as you looked down at Kol.
"Darling, are you getting tired already?" he teased, a look of pure lust in his eyes. You whimpered as your legs shook, struggling to remain upright. His hand came down again, the stinging making you cry out.
"Fuuuck," you breathed.
"Ride my cock for me. I want to see your tits bouncing," he purred, squeezing your hips and guiding your movements, allowing you to focus on pleasing him. Soon you fell back into a good rhythm, riding his cock and pressing your hands into his chest. He let out a satisfied groan, the heat building within you.
You dug your nails into his skin and rode him as hard as you could. He slammed his hips up to meet yours, driving himself deeper inside you, his moans and growls becoming more frantic. Your legs ached, and you felt like you were about to collapse, "Kol, I can't..."
"Come on, you're doing so well." He replied, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close. Your head fell against his shoulder, and he nuzzled your neck, his lips ghosting over your skin.
You felt yourself tighten around him, your climax swiftly approaching. His mouth found yours, swallowing your moans as your orgasm crashed through you, and you cried out, his name tumbling from your lips. You were trembling, your pace slowing as you rode out the waves of pleasure.
Once you had caught your breath, you lifted your head, looking down at him with a blissed out expression. He smirked, a hunger in his gaze. "We're not finished," he whispered as he gripped your ass. You laughed, the sound cut short with a sharp inhale, as his hand came down hard on your backside.
The sting caused your breath to hitch as you peered down at him, "I thought you liked a woman in charge?" you mused.
He gave a throaty chuckle before grabbing your arms, gently pinning them behind your back. "All due respect, darling, but we're doing it my way now," he rasped, his lips brushing against your own. You melted against his mouth, unable to refuse. A sharp gasp escaped you as he began to thrust upwards, a surprised look crossing your features at his sheer strength.
He moved so effortlessly, as if his stamina were boundless. You realized just how much he had been holding back and a chuckle rose from your throat, which swiftly turned into a series of moans. He yanked gently on your arms, causing your back to arch, then buried his face into your breasts. You squeezed your thighs as you felt his lips suckling on your nipple, each grazing of his teeth heightened by his relentless thrusts.
Your sweat-covered bodies moved together perfectly, and as the noises escaping your lips became more intense, his thrusts sped up to match the urgency. He continued to use your body however he saw fit, his mouth roaming every inch he could reach as he repeatedly impaled you on his cock, his pace leaving you breathless.
Another feeling of bliss spread throughout your body as his cock hit your sweet spot repeatedly, driving you mad, making you a whimpering mess. His grunts became louder with each thrust, one hand firmly holding your arms, the other gripping your ass lifting you and bringing you back down on his cock.
"I need you to cum again, darling," he ordered, his voice raspy as his dark eyes gazed up at you.
Your back arched, your whole body trembling and trying to break free from his grasp. But he simply chuckled, maintaining the ferocious pace of his thrusting, which caused your eyes to roll back in your head as another wave of pleasure racked your body, your orgasm intensified by his unwavering hold and the way you were stretched open.
A guttural grunt escaped him, followed by a string of expletives, his final few thrusts almost lifting the two of you from the bed. His back arched, pushing his cock deeper than you thought possible, a loud moan echoing out from your lips as he filled you.
He let go of your arms, and they dropped uselessly by your sides, limp and unable to move. He began kissing along your shoulder, your neck, and collarbone, whispering to you as his hands moved gently up and down your spine. You leaned into him, closing your eyes and melting into his touch.
He was a vision in the dim glow from the city outside, the light catching on his sharp cheekbones and the contours of his muscles. He cradled you in his arms, his body warm and comforting against your own as your breathing slowed.
"Thank you, for saving me from a dreadfully lonely evening," you whispered.
He kissed your cheek and tilted your head up to look at him, his hair falling in his eyes. You brushed the hair away from his face and kissed him softly.
He rolled the two of you over, his weight pressing against you. He looked down at you, his eyes shining in the dim light, his thumb stroking your cheek.
"That man that stood you up? Idiot." he remarked, giving you a wide smile.
You laughed. "Absolutely."
{Part One -Klaus} ♡ {Part Three - Marcel} ♡ {Part Four - Elijah}
shout-out to @perseephoneee for requesting some Kol ♡ I hope you like it!
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