#and that means really weird shipping sometimes
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it gets to me so much sometimes when i think that, in whichever fandom, the GA or just most people tend to ship two characters just because they are canon. Like mike and el, for instance, they are canon, they have kissing scenes and they dance at the ball and they…hug?! But what do they even talk about? What’s the music playing in the background? What’s the context of their interactions? Why, why do they love each other? Do they make each other better, do they find missing parts of themselves in the form of another person? Are there hints and tells and color-codes that just…exist to symbolise their love?
Why do we ship these characters? What’s is it about their love that is so strong? And don’t get me wrong, i also believe -like many other bylers/ fans of the show- that mike and el grew to love each other, to appreciate and kind of need each other. But not for the right reasons.
I mean, mike needs to be needed, to be able to help or even save another person, to feel loved and wanted. But he also needs to allow himself to be who he is, outside of “forced conformity” (“that’s what’s killing the kids” after all!)
El, on the other hand, needs to find who she is, but firstly she needs to have a safe place where she is allowed to kind of just exist and then blossom into her true self. And bumping into mike, who eventually grew to appreciate and embrace her, she felt safe for the first time. And alongside her, mike felt needed, like he could protect her and be there for her and make her happy.
But now el, who has established both meaningful familial relationships and friendships, needs to find out who she is. How can we expect her to grow when she’s in a relationship with the first person she met right after she broke out of the lab (her literal prison), who can’t even talk about any other part of her that he loves other than her powers?
And i’ve read many many other people write about this, about how in s4, when mike wasn’t with el he embraced his geeky, nerdy and weird self but when he finally reunited with el, he had to hide himself from her (as did she!). He just…couldn’t be himself around her.
But like, apart from the problems in their relationship, i really just don’t understand why people ship them. It’s just…mike cant be himself around el and el doesn’t have room to find herself when she’s with mike. It literally doesn’t make any mathematical sense.
And then they say we’re delusional for thinking, for proving, that there are astronomically higher chances for these two not to be endgame, for el to be single and for mike and will to get together. Because it makes sense…right? Like, el will be able to find herself outside of a relationship, she won’t be dictated by anyone but her own self, and mike and will… do i really have to elaborate? Like, in every single aspect of stranger things, from musical titles and colour-codes, parallels and loving, longing stares, hand touches, over-protectiveness, deep and meaningful understanding to posters and freaking funko-pops, interviews and good ol’ fashioned cinematography and storytelling… it all points to them, if you connect the dots.
And how, how is it possible that so many dots have been put into such perfect places, to make such a beautifully crafted imagery, just for all of this to be a coincidence? When, when has anything ever in stranger things been coincidental? Ever?
Edit: I’d just like to denote that, when i said “(mike) can’t even talk about any other part of her that he loves other than her powers” i didn’t mean that mike loves el JUST because she has powers, fuck no, BUT when the time was right for him to note all of the other aspects of her character that make her a remarkable person (ex. her selflessness, her compassion), he decided to focus on her powers. The very thing that she herself thought dictated her.
just wanted to make that super clear.
#guys i’m sorry im not that good at analysis like most of you😭#but yeah i love them and i just don’t get how we can still ship characters#for the shake of shipping#when their relationship doesn’t serve their arcs#at these points we literally just don’t care about characters arcs#just ships#anyway#i just want what’s best for them#mike wheeler#will byers#byler nation#antimileven#byler endgame#byler#jane hopper#el#eleven#el hopper#platonic mileven#independent el
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thanks for the tagg!!
What's the origin of your blog name?: i wanted a queen of hearts themed url hehe but unfortunately ruler-of-my-heart and off-with-your-head were taken so i decided on give-me-your-heart!!
OTP(s)+Ship Name: YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME I LOVE EVERY LEGAL SHIP... i mean... i really like mizuena from prsk and leoviljami from twst hehe... OH AND SHALT/SHUVALT!!!
Favourite colour: red and any pastel shade except maybe green!!!
Favourite game: Project Sekai and Twisted Wonderland!!
Song stuck in your head: dear yesterday by lucien lunaris!!
Weirdest trait/habit: dont know how weird this one is but i sing in the shower lots
Hobbies: doodling, writing(in my head unfortunately), rambling, watching vtubers and doomscrolling on social media lmao
If you work, what's your profession?: i am a student so-
If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: something arts-related, either a writer, actress or singer!! and a vtuber as a side hobby hehe
Something you're good at: singing i guess? i like to think im a good writer but its iffy
Something you're bad at: oh boy. time management, maintaining a proper sleep schedule, math, physics, actually talking about my feelings and setting boundaries
Something you love: TALKING TO YOU GUYS!!!! and family game night!
Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: KAGEROU PROJECT. MY BELOVED EUEUUEUEUEUEUEUE
Something you hate: when people disrespect my clearly set boundaries, especially my irls
Something you collect: BRACELETS!!! I LOVE BRACELETS
Something you forget: my schoolbooks unfortunately
What's your love language?: uhhh i guess gifting, words of affirmation and sometimes quality time!!
Favourite movie/show: inazuma eleven, beyblade burst, BUDDYFIGHTTTT
Favourite food: C H E E S E 🧀
Favourite animal: rabbitssss!!! and octopi! my cuties euueueueu
What were you like as a child?: the most innocent, sensitive, talkative and creative child ever probably. i was also short. and clumsy.
Favourite subject at school: english, music, maybeeee art! oh and maybe literature
Least favourite subject: math and science... and phys ed
What's your best character trait?: im really empathetic ig? that and id say my self-controls pretty good
What's your worst character trait?: i am constantly lying about how i feel and unfortunately easily get pissed off 😭😭 at least i hold it in ig but yeah im really sensitive
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?: well uhhh i would like to be way less busy 😭😭
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?: my paternal grandmother! ive never met her but id want to see what it was like back then, even if it was. hard.
Tag as many mutuals as you want! (no pressure): @itsmylovedaydreamdreamdream @peapea-0405 @blob-with-a-pencil @cceanvvaves open tags!!
Get to know your mutuals!
What's the origin of your blog title? When I was in middle school, someone told me "you dress so goth, but your personality is so happy. You're like a really cheerful grim reaper. A joyful soul collector." And that's been my username for most everything ever since!
OTP(s) + Shipname: Oooh, right now it's Jayvik, and tbh I can't think of another one, this is one of the first ships I've been really really into tbh. Other dynamics focused on my blog have actually been more platonic, like Irondad
Favorite color: Red!
Favorite game: Dungeons and Dragons! Both as a player, and DM!
Song stuck in your head: The Challenge - EPIC
Weirdest habit/trait? I download thousands of still frames of tv shows that I love so I can make memes out of them. But I have to sift through and delete all the pictures that are blurry or unnecessary, which takes hours. I think it's super fun because I'm autistic and really enjoy sorting stuff lol
Hobbies: Writing, playing DnD, making memes, and hanging out with my friends!
If you work, what's your profession? Not so much a profession lol, I work at a toy store. It's a part time job while I'm in college, studying to be a radiologist!
If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically? Radiologist. But ANY job I wish? Professional DM or Professional DnD player, like the people on Dropout or Critical Role haha
Something you're good at: I'm good at writing stories! I can write them well and write things that make people feel deep emotions, and I like that.
Something you're bad at: Recognizing when someone doesn't want help haha. I tend to try and fix things or help people when they just want to vent, and it ends up frustrating for both of us.
Something you love: I love stories. Any kind, I love so so many
Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: My favorite shows and stories, my dnd campaigns and characters, my stories and ideas
Something you hate: Fascism. Bigotry. Willful ignorance. Fearmongering. Propaganda.
Something you collect: Dice!! I'm a dice goblin for sure haha
Something you forget: I often forget chores unfortunately
What's your love language? Physical touch and acts of service
Favorite movie/show: Ooh right now it's definitely Arcane haha
Favorite food: Sushi!
Favorite animal: Cats!
What were you like as a child? In a word? Unwell haha. I'm a good bit better now, still struggling with a lot, but better than I used to do
Favorite subject at school? English, I was always good at that class
Least favorite subject: Chemistry. I hate that shit so much lol
What's your best character trait? I think that I'm kind and willing to stand up for others
What's your worst character trait? I can be disrespectful to some types of spirituality unfortunately. It just doesn't make logical sense to me. I have two friends that are fully convinced that a cursed doll gave some youtuber testicular cancer. And I just can't see the logic or critical thought in that
If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? Mmm. All of fascism shit is definitely damaging my calm so I'd love to change that specifically
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? Harry Allen. Google him he's a badass transgender cowboy
Tag as as many mutuals as you want!!
@sb-essebi @glitternightingale @blatterpussbunnyfromhell @captainhollowstories @kydrogendragon @misforvendetta @poetryinmotion-author @bocularteletheric @kai-ovillager @thatoneneuvichiliauthor @4amarcanethoughts @alexspearsxoxo @kotonni @buckybucananbarnes @kakesuwolf @martybaker @patheticjayce @sleepycrowhours @aixabi @up-the-bracket @snoopyviktor @emdashflower @humanshapedstress @hellsalore @juuzousmom @softandslow @fangirlshenanigans04 @batmans-attic @lvrstrsh @bluemoyai @tearexxwrites @bodyofvvater @lifeandeathepub @areesespiece @lancesblueazaleas @monaisme @milkywaysipper @carmendyy @tseecka @heazueken @tophat-69 @velocitychroma @prjctdiva @gremlinofchaos @ourvectorviktor @kenjinx @jxmimac @gh0stedvhampir @voxconcordia @arcaneheraldslawyer
ngl I tried to tag ALL my mutuals that I have, but this was how many it allowed me to do before it made me stop lol so here's as many as I could fit!
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we don’t assign a face and identify to Curly’s actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldn’t be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions it’s that he’s well meaning to a fault#he’s an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like it’s the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they can’t cut off for one reason#or another like it’s not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but it’s less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but it’s not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited it’s just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldn’t in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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is this where u take the requests? if not, apologies lol still learning tumblr, I WAS WONDERING IF MY VARGAS RELATED REQUESTOBER REQUEST COULD BE JAKE/NNY? i feel like jake/nny is SO looked past like its actually so cute, they could be doing anything THANK U IF THIS WAS THE WRONG PLACE SORRY MWAH MWAH X
Day 12 - Once you had one hole in your skin, you've had 'em all
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Jake#Nny#*looks at your comment of NnyGaster being cursed* *looks at this* Well I mean at least you're consistent#Of all the crackships I haven't considered I possibly haven't considered this one the most#I mean considering I Just got into Nny/Scriabin lol#I have extreme Edgar/Scriabin blinders lol this is known#Is this a thing and I just don't know? I can't even snark I just - it Literally Never Occurred to me lol#Edgar got all the shipping charts and diagrams and graphs he's special that way <3#I love Jake dearly and don't want him to be hurt! Unlike the Vargases lol ♥ I love them dearly and Do want them be hurt#Precarious position anyone who gets paired up with Johnny haha#I suppose if Johnny's still in Sweet Mode that's one thing but!! the rest of him!!!#Their dynamic over something like piercings Is interesting tho - Jake hangs out with artsy types and Nny is definitely that lol#And Johnny's y'know - weird about stuff lol - I could see him getting into a pierced partner! No pun intended#And obviously Jake is very good on boundaries <3 He's not actually touching him here just gesturing at his ear#It also occurs to me that I can't think of a time I've seen Johnny with tattoos :0 Body modification+art! (+bodily weirdness)#Might be something there to look at sometime hmmm#Anyhow - continuing my trend of drawing Nny on the hood of the car over the cliff haha#I didn't think I had leveled up all that much from last year but comparing the two??? I'm Way more pleased with this one#Still struggling with the bottom of the shoe but better! Practicing!!!#Maybe there Is something to drawing just a bit bigger lol#Nny also looks significantly less anemic from not having died yet lol#Really pleased with the harder edges of the unlined shapes ♪ I used that grass brush on everything and it's dope#Do I like backgrounds???? First lining now this so much to consider
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AND ONE LAST THING a redraw of a silly doodle i did a year ago that i felt the need to revisit, kaito jacket-sharing is important to me
#danganronpa#danganronpa v3#kaito momota#kiibo#kiimota#i would tag cyberspace but that's just.. a word#these two are both so passionate and optimistic and i like the idea of them being drawn to each other but also awkward as hell#kaito tries to sidekick him but kiibo isn’t depressed or has low self esteem it’s a whole different mess#and then kiibo sorta calls kaito out on his stuff (in a nice way just blunt about it)#and they could sorta be real with each other… mostly they think the other is just a funny weird little guy#and i think they’d have a lot of awkward flustered moments. like this#smth about kiibo catching kaito off guard sometimes not rlly meaning to and then kaito does something back that flusters him it’s silly#plus!! anybody who would listen to kaito talk for hours about space stuff is fun ship to me#kiibo would interrupt with the stupidest tangents because he’s really interested + thinking abt how to contribute#and kaito wouldn’t mind at all he’d be so touched
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trying to finish reading dungeon meshi now that it's done and just seeing everyone in the comments talking about ships. gun to my head
#ofc anytime someone says they ship smth straight someone has to be like 'ermmmm labru and farcille are better' like. not to me.... sorry#i actually do like farcille but people are so annoying about it acting like it's 'essentially canon' that it puts me off.#tbf that why i dislike a lottttt of ships LMAO not that i'm in the habit of caring abt it too much in most media#but sometimes it just really annoys me liiike laios and marcille have just as much ship tease as farcille (if not more)#but they couldn't get naked and go in the bath together so it doesn't count ig#tbf i'm not even huge on any ships except maybe fleki and lycion. i love when two equally weird ppl love each other#also like. they already had someone in the story who was head over heels for falin and i'm pretty sure shuro and marcille act nothing alike#when it comes to her. so. eh. i mean yadda yadda subtext or whatever i guess lol but if it can just as easily read as not romantic then#i kinda find it hard to care honestly. which is why i don't really ship anything from it. which brings me back to my original point#why is that basically all people talk about when it comes to anything... it should be a garnish not the whole god damn dish#and there's soooooo much in dungeon meshi that's more interesting than romance which is basically never once a priority#anyways. i'm just being an asshole and a hater as usual so go about your business and do what you want. i'll just be mad about it alone#labru is so nothing burger though i will never understand...
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Putting a klance fic in my read later list in 2024... Almost feels like it's 2018 and I just joined Tumblr again.
#idk if this means anything with how fuckin weird the rest of them were but i promise i was one of the good normal klance shippers#i was just there liking my ship staying in my lane why were the rest of you so fucking unhinged 😭#vld#...is it safe to tag that now#i never did i was too afraid of the fandom ngl LMAOOOO#did i particularly like the ending of vld? not really no. nothing to do with klance tho i just didn't like it#i also think i definitely overreacted when the last season released though because yk being In the fandom does that to you#then you look back years later and you're like “why the fuck was i so mad it's just a mid ending”#i'm ngl to you i was like halfway to falling out of the fandom when the last season released so i didn't actually watch all of it#i did read it though from plot summaries made by a few different people#so i've been thinking about going back and rewatching the entire thing sometime
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i wish nonlesbians could be Normal about lesbian headcanons or characters
#both having/stanning then or watching other people who have/stan them#but No somehow it always gets made weird#most often by nonlesbians taking lesbians stereotypes (ex mean lesbian/manhating lesbian/etc); assigning them to x character & running w it#or seeing that someone (usually a lesbian!) has this opinion or view about a character & either:#rushing to say shit like ‘i never wouldve seen it that way’ ‘not really my thing but so valid’ ‘i ship her w [man] but this is interesting#OR just piggybacking to say they hc the character as a different sexuality (which is like ok cool make ur own post then)#sorry but i actually feel like im going crazy sometimes because this happens almost every time i post ab lesbian hcs or lesbian fics. like#the word ‘valid’ gets thrown around so much and i know its not maliciously meant but it feels so backhanded 😭#like Yeah i know its valid thats why im talking about it. why would i need a stamp of approval#anyways#maybe i Am crazy and no one else has picked up on this but. well#it has been irking me for so long.#also nonlesbians should not be joking ab m/f or m/m ships being ‘lesbian coded’ or ‘giving lesbian vibes’ SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!!#carolcore
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was bored, realised i care more about orufrey than anyone ever, then decided to work out my top 5 otps of all time and give them awards
(below) then i got drunk on power and judged them on even more categories... canon rating.. colour-coded rating (??) .. and the mysterious.. Fated Rating.
orufrey
-canon rating: 4/5
romantic narrative that can be reasonably assumed at this point to be “going somewhere” while technically ““not canon”“. i know what she is doing
-colour-coded: 6/5
no words. designed in perfect and homosexual complements. black & white = yin & yang. black hair white shirt black skirt. white hair black shirt white skirt. also they’re fire & water.. elemental coded. qif’s glasses are black & white too... everything about them represents them as a pair. and they both have gold & blue highlights. what is it going to be, white & black tuxes at the wedding or do witches get married in gowns. just skip to that chapter it’s fine
-fated rating: 5/5
The. Tassels. they chose to live together and entwine their lives around each other. it means MORE that it was choice and not fate. nuff said............... p.s. read my fic
ferdibert
-canon rating: 4/5
they can be implied to get married or they can kill each other depending on YOUR choices. 4 points for the chaos of that. would be 5/5 if the pair ending text wasn’t translated in a homophobic way
-colour-coded: 3/5
orange and black. looks good together so points for that. also those colours mean ferdibert forever to me i don’t care about halloween.
-fated rating: 2/5
they used to hate each other. and with slightly different happenstances in life they end up killing each other (with pathos). but that stuff means something in its own way so it’s fine they’re fine.
suipo
-canon rating: 5/5
they basically end up together and kiss at the ending 💗
-colour-coded: 4.5/5
blue & pink. perfect. beautiful. and they match as perfect complements in other ways too. both are named after sweets. suipo 4ever
-fated rating: 4/5
they just met randomly. BUT... they had to meet... they both needed to meet each other to advance their personal narratives. <3 +2 points for dying and ending up in heaven together cause that’s bonkers
wrightworth
-canon rating: 2/5
NOT CANON.....I GUESS.......i literally forget this though. designed by a BL creator or something and a stupidly gay narrative for Friends so how could you say 0/5 though
-colour-coded: 5/5
another pink & blue. or red & blue more broadly. incredible. great. they match in tons of ways. like the wedding rings that capcom made.
-fated rating: 6/5
childhood friends to whatever they are is worth 3/5 in and of itself, but then so many of their choices are literally about each other in such incredibly pathetically gay ways that it’s truly nuts.
joker/akechi
-canon rating: 2.5/5
i don’t know what to say. the narrative and the heartcrushing 7 minute romantic ending song that haunts my waking moments even now are what they are. i don’t know what to say
-colour-coded: 3/5
well... their colours are both black & red... ? kind of? you could say black/red & black/white. i don’t know. it looks good though.
-fated rating: 4/5
(literally loads of spoilers................... !!!!!!!!) they were quite entirely given their powers on purpose to foil each other. but, akechi wants to be free of narratives and doesn’t want to be entwined with anyone else’s life. next time this’ll be his choice. THAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE....WHAT IT IS. also they’re just obsessed with each other and their songs are about each other and no more what ifs, what matters is how you bring joy to life when i said a false happiness would be enough you softly covered my mouth etc etc etc
orufrey: 15
suipo: 13.5
ferbies: 9
wrightworth: 13
j&a: 9.5
WHY ARE FERBIES LAST???? hubert is going to kill me.....that's ok. the fact that i learnt to draw with you means the world <3
P.S. I LOVE BYLITZA!!!!!! from fe3h. but ones like that are so personal that there's no point saying "i love this" like i love the same thing others love. or something
ok bye
#sometimes uve got to have fun online.#i dont know how to draw anyone but orufrey any more. who are these people#p.s. by persona 3p protag i obviously mean the girl one so it's gay.#i doodled this to put it on twt but it would be weird if ppl RTed something so obviously personal & manic#i feel like i forgot some major ship i massively love. there are lots of others i love btw. even a few het ones... (?!) probably.#i didn't used to be much of a shipper cause i didn't use the internet i didn't see fanart i didn't draw. for years of my adult life.#sometimes i get really obsessed with something bc of the time i encounter it. like those two from good omens really got to me#i should do a takarazuka-only version of these. suipo vs everyone else. i've drawn couples interacting and fighting before :')#i like my ferdibert & orufrey crossover comic doodles. for the audience that is me. i like thinking about double date failures.#it really is weird/interesting that i do care about orufrey SO much and draw them SO much but there are ones i dont wanna draw.#^ the commentator (me) watching my award show presented by me for me
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napoleon movie was not good tbh
#script was not good didn't make a good use of history & didn't really justify being 2hr40min long imo#it had some nice cinematography in parts but.#idk maybe I'm just being mean but even as a long historical movie enjoyer i wasn't a fan#thoughts#i felt like sometimes also it was trying to do that sort of modern humor slant to history thing which Can work (eg the favourite) but didn'#also it was weird abt the french revolution in a way I didn't rlly enjoy but I'd have to chew that one over before making any serious crit#& my knowledge of napoleon is v patchy so I can't really say anything there except it didn't really feel like it developed him much at all#which. idk how. it feels like it should have done#overall an extremely meh altho sometimes pretty film tbh. idk#<- i did smile seeing the rain at waterloo though thank you victor hugo she is like a celebrity to me#sorry adding more as I wait for the bus but. how do cut the entire peninsular war & invasion of italy etc etc & still have it drag#also again i felt like the dialogue was quite bad but maybe I'm being too mean#esp bc the other people in the theater did seem to enjoy it ajskdjkgky. so who knows#wait i Will say that I did quite like the mysuc though. that was good.#*music#also we got a ship interior w middies at the end#the french revolution bit really did leave a bad taste in my mouth though
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bruabba and fugio are good ships however 80% of the people who post about them are annoying about it. like. same with jotakak and kakyoin stans actually. the way ppl obsess over them and water it down until it's so uwuified and far removed from the source that the characters are just bland and boring. idk where i was going with this
#don't get me wrong i enjoy all 3 ships and i like kakyoin and i like part 5#but the way these things get treated in the fandom is so annoying it's genuinely so annoying#unfortunately a lot of part 5 stans just completely get the characterisation wrong#like bruno isn't an uwu softboy mommy 😭😭😭😭 yes he's a parental figure but he's also like really unhinged and traumatised.#he's a good person but he's fucked up why are we making him into a bland uwu cinnamon roll#same w fugo and giorno.... they both have severe trauma & fugo has anger issues and giorno can be manipulative and cold etc etc#so it's so weird to me when ppl see them as like cutesy softboys DOES THIS MAKE SENSE#also people misunderstand giorno as boring or too similar to jonathan but the whole point is he's a mix of jonathan and dio...#yes he's kind but he will also do almost anything to achieve his goals even if it means people die#he's actually a really interesting character with different layers but people miss it 😭#< obviously it's fine to draw/write cutesy stuff and not focus on character analysis. sometimes u just gotta make it fluffy#but i swear it's like 90% of the content for some of these characters#kakyoin especially holy shit. the like. feminization of kakyoin in the fandom is literally gross at times#when ppl turn him into like a twinky little femboy... come on be so real have you SEEN him#especially when ppl hc him as trans masc and then draw him hyper feminine.... when in canon he's rlly masculine.... guys ☹#<like obviously trans men can be feminine but when ppl make a masculine character super feminine bc of a trans hc. that's. weird
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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#I'VE GROWN INTO A DEEPLY UNLOVABLE ADULT: playlist.#I know this is kind of a weird place to start with misao BUT I swear this song is relevant to her character jsjsj#During the 400 years she spent in Japan after she left home she had actually become acquainted with Japanese Pirates.#And she had joined them on their ' travels ' ( which basically just means raids / illegal exploits JSJSJ ).#But something unexpected happened during her time spent with them. There was one other woman on the ship and of course Misao wanted to try-#to connect with them as a result. And Misao was left being in complete wonder of her as she had never seen someone be so agile with a sword#before that point since the other woman in question ( her name was reika ) was known for being a BRILLIANT swordfighter. and due to her-#bunk being right above reika's they often found themselves have late night convo's with each other. And over time Misao felt this-#overwhelming feeling of warmth within her heart whenever she was around her as they soon began spending pretty much every single waking-#moment of their time together. And because Misao had never experience romantic love before this point she had thought she just held a deep-#admiration for Reika for a while. But then Reika volunteered to show Misao how to sword-fight and that's when she knew that she loved Reika#Because every single time she would physically correct Misao's stance with her hands or show her how to do a move more properly-#Misao felt this uncontrollable desire to kiss her. She just thought that Reika was so beautiful. And she wanted to have the spirit-#of a ' warrior ' just like her. So she reallyyy wanted for Reika to be her gf and after having a nightmare one night-#(because she is unfortunately plagued with them sometimes) and Reika expressed her concern for Misao by telling her that she could sleep-#in the same bed as hers Misao could've sworn that her heart stopped for a second and she was hesitant to at first but crawled in bed next-#to her anyhow in the end and after just laying there for a bit Reika turned to face her + just look into her eyes for a moment Misao asked-#if she could kiss her and Reika laughed and said something akin to ' oh if you only knew how long i've wanted for you to say that. -#of course you can ' and from that moment on Misao + Reika were a couple. And Misao was sooo in love with her that she wanted to find a way-#to make her immortal too. But decided not to when the topic was met with Pity by Reika whenever Misao finally revealed to her what she-#really is. Though the years that Misao spent with her were perhaps the happiest she's ever had. And she still loves Reika to this day.#She is also the reason why Misao wants to perfect her sword-fighting skills. Because she wants to make Reika proud of her.#... wherever she may be.#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.
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Sometimes I think about how ever few years after semi old piece of media will have its fandom revived in a wave of popularity and suddenly the once rare-pairs are now the top OTP while the once super popular pairings are left in the dust.
#just an observation#it’s really funny sometimes actually#cause the rare pair is almost always the most rational relationship with the most perfect chemistry#and then the once popular ship is sometimes just straight up pro ship#doesn’t apply to every fandom but I’ve noticed it a lot with media that’s kicked up in popularity thanks to tiktok#and by pro ship I mean abusive or of the like btw no weird shit#literally just rambling thoughts#sol rambles
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i think somewhere along the line (in my experience) after 2020 reader fan fic became less about enjoying a story and more about inserting ourselves into stories and idk how to feel about that
#i mean we are always meant to insert ourselves into stories in some capacity#that's the whole point#to get lost in a story in a world to empathize with characters to live in their shoes#but then things became about *seeing yourself* in a story and i think that's a slippery slope#ofc every one deserves to feel represented but it becomes a problem when you make that other people's problem#sure you can start a conversation about representation in media#but ff writers are just guys (gn) who do this for fun and for their love of writing#and i imagine it must feel really weird for someone to be like hey why did you give reader x trait that's not me like???????#do you tell published authors their mcs don't fit you???? like what?????#also as an aside personally for me self insert and in a similar vein self shipping is....a slippery slope#like yes when things are great it's fun to think abt me n my faves but also sometimes i hate myself & i DON'T want to think abt myself ykno#also this isn't meant to be discourse-y these are just my thoughts and i think part of why tumblr has felt weird for me in recent years#rina rambles
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Apparently there's a fic reading challenge thing this year, but after doing a quick skim of the goals... we don't think we'll be touching it with a ten-foot stick. Some of these goals put a VERY bad taste in our mouth. The idea of a "diversity checklist" isn't supposed to be... literal, we don't think? No? We're remembering that one quote about "listening to people of color being like eating your vegetables for white activists" and we're feeling like it may actually have been understating whatever the hell is going on here.
#we speak#also really funny to be seeing shit like “read fic from a fandom with under 250 works”. buddy we're WRITING for one of those#but also like. “read a fic where the main character is BIPOC”. “read a fic where the main character is neurodivergent"#“read a fic that passes the bechdel test”.#like we get the INTENT we guess but we're not in the target audience AT ALL#and a whole fuckin lot of the goals here are very romance focused up against us a guy who deliberately filters out ships#we're also really concerned that “passes the bechdel test” is a bar for fic but also we know The Scene here#and “passing the mako mori test”. is indeed a difficult one to find in a lot of fandoms#as someone who tends to like female characters we notice this. A Fucking Lot#we are so insanely picky with fic bc even with ao3's tagging system we need to slog through dozens of fics to find one good one#and a lot of the time we. REALLY don't have the patience for fic that doesn't have decent depictions for the gals#you have no clue how much zel da fic especially we drop for being Really Fucking Weird About Gender (in a bad way)#sometimes we forget that people exist in bigger fandoms that actually have fic reading habits like this#we feel like we're in another dimension. what do you mean you guys live like this#also what. does “deals heavily (and healthily) with a mental illness” mean. you guys arent just reading this to eat ur vegetables right?#...right???#anyways reading through things like “read fics with all the major LGBTQIA2 identities” is giving us hives#if you read our fic then we beg of you read it because it sounds like it has a nice plot not just like. because Some Guy is ace or intersex#please. gender identity should NOT be that much of a priority. read through and flag on the weird gender shit and go “oh thats queer!”#or “oh thats like me” or “oh (whatever)” but please. there are so many things here more relevant than shit like sexuality.#we need to go read through our fics and make sure we dont have any overly modern lingo in there#if you want to know about a characters sexuality or gender identity figure it out yourself from. fuck we dont know. psychic beams.#though we rationally know the reason that things in modern queer spaces are so often Like This its still poison to our brain#and we want nothing to do with it#negative chatter
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