#and that lorde song that i literally just heard for the first time on a greta fancam lmao

[hyperpotamianarch]

Well, the one part of the question I didn't answer yet is what isn't part of the Tanach. Which, while it's a group that contains a lot of books (Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings aren't part of the Tanach, for example), we can still have a look at some books that potentially could enter but didn't. In addition, explaining why the Talmud isn't a part of the Tanach might also be helpful. So let us start talking about the codification and canonization of the Tanach!

Now, the codification of the Tanach, as in organizing the books that would enter and perhaps editing some of them, was a work done by Knesset HaGdolah - the Great Assembly of 120 Jewish rabbis and leaders that formed at the start of the 2nd Temple era, around 516 BCE (according to historians. There are some disagreement between them and traditional Jewish chronicles around this particular time frame). No decisive date can be put to the end of it, though. Some books that ended up in the Tanach were written around the early days of the Great Assembly - Ezra, for example - and the finalization of codifying and canonizing the Tanach likely happened some time after the books in it were written. It's likely that by the time Alexander the Great conquered the Land of Israel - around 332 BCE - there was a loose canon of texts, though I can't really say for certain. I would like to note, for example, that I've heard from Rav Aviah HaCohen that the book of Daniel contains words of Greek origin, indicating it has some degree of Hellenistic influence and thus was likely written when they controlled the land. From the perspective of a non-believer it also makes all the prophecies about the wars between the North and South kings more obviously about the Ptolemies and Seleucids. If it truly was written that late, it might well be the latest-written book of the Tanach.

Either way, there are evidence that by the time of the destruction of the 2nd Temple, the canon of the Tanach as we know it existed. It does not mean that it was undisputed - within the Pharisees, the 2nd Temple sect that gave rise to Rabbinic Judaism as we know it, there were still some disagreements about books that should be kept. Other sects (such as the Qumranites) wanted to add books, while yet others didn't accept the Tanach at all - the Samaritans still only consider the Torah as scripture, to this day. However, the Pharisees became the mainstream and thus based the canon.

So first, what disagreements were among the Pharisees? Well, for the most part, there were two books in dispute: Kohellet and Shir HaShirim. Now, there's also a disagreement regarding on which of them there was a dispute in the first place, which can get a little confusing. We'll just avoid that point for now and note that the problem with Kohellet was that it contradicted itself multiple times, and Shir HaShirim... well, it's kind of a romantic-erotic love song that doesn't exactly seem like it belongs in scripture, if we're being honest. However, both have stayed in canon - the Sages have explained the contradictions in Kohellet and Rabbi Akiva would have my head for suggesting the love song (commonly seen as a parable for G-d's love to the Israelites) doesn't belong in scripture. So that is that.

Now, another question that needs to be answered is what books could have entered, but didn't? There are many books that fit that title even if we only discuss Jewish religious books from that period (that aren't disqualified for reasons similar to the Talmud, elaboration on that later). To make things easier for me, I'm going to limit myself to talking about three particular books: the Book of Enoch, Ben Sirach and Maccabees. I could (and possibly should) stop here and not try explaining why they didn't enter the Tanach. However, if I had done that I could've just looked up a list of the Apocryphal book and paste it here. So, I'll attempt to get into the why. (In case you're wondering what apocryphal means, it appears the literal translation of the word is somewhere along the lines of dubious or inauthentic. In Hebrew those books are called Sefarim Ḥitzoniyim, meaning "outer books". Essentially - books that aren't a part of the Tanach's canon.)

The most problematic of these three is Ben Sirach. And I mean "problematic" in the sense it seems to have gotten the closest to entering. Ben Sirach is a book of proverbs and saying by a Jewish scholar, I think from Alexandria? Who wrote them around the time of the 2nd Temple. And this book is quoted in the Talmud a few times, with at least once that it's seemingly referred to as if it's a part of scripture. On the other hand, in the tractate of Sanhedrin (100B) Rav Yosef includes it among the books that reading in leads to exemption from having an afterlife. The weird part is that even he himself quotes from it a couple of lines later.

Well, a common explanation I've seen of that is that Rav Yosef there - as well as the Mishnah he comments on, which talks about Sefarim Ḥitzoniyim in general - don't actually mean one shouldn't read those at all. They merely mean that one shouldn't read it in the same way one reads scripture, and should remember it's not scripture. The reason Rashi gives to what the problem is with Ben Sirach is that it has some nonsensical or empty sayings (it's a little hard to translate, maybe it would be more accurate to say some of its sayings are rubbbish).

The Book of Enoch is an intersting one. It talks about the hierarchy of angels and the proper order of the world, from what I understand, and much of the lore in it is accepted as canon by both Christians and Jews (I think, though I didn't read the book). However, only one existing group in the world has it in their canonical Bible and those are Ethipean Christians. Well, I might be wrong - it could be that the Assyrian church also has it, as while modern editions lean heavily on the Ethipean version they still have other sources to lean on. Either way, this book - likely written during the Hellenistic period in the Land of Israel - is not a part of the canon of the Tanach. Why? I don't really know. Maybe the attribution of the book to such an old figure didn't sit well with the rabbis working on the canonization. Maybe they didn't believe it was written with any divine inspiration. Maybe it was written too late into the Hellenistic period, at a time when the canon was already set. Either way, it didn't get in, leaving Daniel as the only book in the Tanach that gives angels names.

Now, regarding the Book of Maccabees: there are actually four of them. I really don't want to get into all of them, so I'm going to focus on the first - which was likely written the closest to the actual Hasmonean rebellion, by someone who may have participated in it, and in Hebrew. And it still didn't get into the Tanach, though it gives much-needed context to the holiday of Hannukah. Why is that? Well, the most likely answer is that it wasn't written with divine inspiration. It's not something easily provable, and for a non-believer it's not going to mean much, so to rephrase - the people who canonized the Tanach didn't think it was divinely inspired. It just seemed like a chronicle of a war that was written after the prophecy was gone from among the Jews. Without prophecy, this book wasn't deemed a legitimate addition to canon and thus remained outside.

There are quite a few more books that didn't enter but you may have heard of - the book of Judith, the book of Jubilees, and many others. I have written a list in the first post of all the books in the Tanach - if it's not one of those, it's not inside. Usually under the assumption it wasn't written with Divine inspiration.

So, what about the Talmud? I am aware that you didn't ask this question. The Talmud is known to not be a part of the Tanach. But why is that? If it's a Jewish religious book, shouldn't it be included in the collection of our scripture? Well, to explain that we need to explain about the Oral Torah. This post is long enough as it is, however, so I'll try to keep it brief.

Basically, Orthodox tradition has it that Moshe got two Torahs on mount Sinai: one Written and one Oral, with the Oral one explaining the Written one and getting into the finer details of the law. Conservative Jews consider the Oral Torah to be a later addition by the Great Assembly, I think - if a Conservative JEw in the audience knows otherwise please do correct me. Its role doesn't change, however: it's always to explain the Written Torah, add some prohibitions to help avoid doing anything forbidden, and such things. The Oral Torah was codified into the Mishnah by Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi around the 2nd century CE, including in it various discussions and disagreements on details of the law. A couple of centuries later, a series of discussions and interpretations on the Mishnah were codified in the Talmud. In addition to these two books, the various Midrashim can probably also be considered a part of the Oral Torah.

You might notice I used the word "codify" and not "write". Even if you didn't, well, you should know that there's a reason for that: the Oral Torah truly is Oral, or at least was. It's very different in nature and purpose from the Written Torah and the Tanach. And that is why the Talmud isn't a part of the Tanach - because it's a part of the complex collection of interpretations on it.

I hope this was helpful! Thank you for asking (and for reading that), and have a good day! If you had trouble understanding something I wrote here, please don't hesitate to ask!

Secular jew here with a really stupid question about the tanach

What exactly constitutes the tanach? I think I've heard it's an acronym, so would the Torah be the t? what's the rest of the acronym? Which writings does it include? I'm pretty sure the talmud isn't part of it, what else isn't? Apologies if this is too basic of a question for you!

Hello! Thank you for the question!

The Torah indeed is the first part of the Tanach. Tanach is an acronym for the Hebrew words Torah, Nevi'im and Ketuvim. Roughly translated, those titles mean "Instructions", "Prophets" and "Writings", respectively. The Tanach, then, consists of 24 books divided into those three categories.

The Torah is the easiest one to define: it's the Pentateuch, the Five Books of Moses, however else you choose to call them, and they are generally known to be set apart. The books in it are Bereshit (Genesis), Shemot (Exodus), Vayikra (Leviticus), B'midbar (Numbers) and Devarim (Deuteronomy). Those are the books traditionally given to Moshe directly by G-d, and mostly focus on the formation of the Israelite people and its time under his leadership. It also includes all the commandments, basically.

Nevi'im are supposedly the books written by prophets, and half the books there are specifically books of prophecy (which is more messages from G-d than necessarily predicting the future). However, the first four books - Joshua, Judges, Samuel and Kings - are more historical in nature, chronicling the events from Moshe's death to the destruction of the 1st Temple. The last four books - Isaiah, Jeremaiah, Ezkiel and the Twelve prophets - are primarily books of prophecies and visions, with some stories sprinked in between. Most of them are concurrent with events in the book of Kings - except for the last three of the Twelve Prophets, who have lived around the building of the 2nd Temple. The Twelve Prophets are (by this order): Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Michah, Naḥum, Ḥabakuk, Zephaniah, Ḥaggai, Zacharias and Malachi. Names are written more or less in their traditional English spelling.

Then we get to the Ketuvim, Written texts, which are... a little more vague. It's hard to say if there's a uniting theme. A couple are books of parables and songs are there, yet others are more chronicles of events, either ones that occured after the time of the book of Kings, before it or concurrently with it. A common assumption is that the difference between those and the Nevi'im is the level of prophecy in writing them - where the Nevi'im were written under direct prophecies, while the Ketuvim were only written in Ruach HaKodesh (roughly translated as "the holy spirit", but I don't want to cause any confusion with Christianity). Either way, the books in the Ketuvim are, in order: Tehilim (Psalms), Mishley (Proverbs), 'Iyov (Job), Shir HaShirim (the Song o Songs/the Songs of Solomon), Rut (or Ruth), Eichah (Lamentations), Kohellet (Ecclesiastes), Ester (or Esther), Daniel, Ezra (and Neḥemiah) and Divrey HaYamim (Chronicles).

If you count, you'll find there are 5 books in the Torah, 8 in the Nevi'im and 11 in the Ketuvim - 24 in total. Ther Twelve Prophets, known as Trei Asar (which just means twelve), are considered one book, The division of Samuel, Kings, Ezra and Chronicles into two books each is relatively late and only makes sense in Ezra due to the obvious PoV shift. Which kind of reminds me, maybe a brief explanation is required as to what each of those last 11 books is.

Tehilim is a book of prayers and religious poems, traditionally written by King David (though they were probably collected long after his time). Mishley is the proverbs of king Shelomo (Solomon), some of which were definitely written long after his time (as in, it's directly stated inside the book). 'Iyov is possibly a parable, possibly a real story which serves as a background to a conversation on the problem of evil that doesn't seem to be solved within the book. The five books from Shir HaShirim to Esther are considered the Five Scrolls, but actually share very little in common: Shir HaShirim is a love song that sometimes become rather erotic, written by King Solomon. Ruth is an origin story to King David's family that occurs during the Judges period, and is about his Great-Grandmother and her conversion to Judaism (she was from Moab, which was a neighboring nation). Eichah is a book lamenting the destruction of the 1st Temple and of the Kingdom of Judea, traditionally written by Jeremiah. Kohellet is a philosophical book pondering the meaning of life - it either finds none or finds solace in faith, depending who you ask - also said to have been written by King Solomon. Esther is famously about the first organised Pogrom in recorded history - one against the Jews of the Persian empire, occuring during the Babylonian exile in Persia. Daniel is about the vision of a Jewish slave in the court of Nebuchadnezzar, who somehow succeeds to stay in a position of power after multiple switches in the government. The story of Daniel isn't half as interesting as his weird visions, though. Ezra is about the rebuilding of the Temple and Jerusalem after the return from exile, more or less - Ezra and Neḥemiah are the major leaders of this time period. This is pretty much a chronicling book - as is the last one, appropriately called Chronicles (Divrey HaYamim). That one basically attempts to sum up everything that happened to the Jewish people throughout history until the building of the 2nd Temple.

I've already written a lot and am too tired to explain why those books were codified and others weren't, so I'll just leave it at that for now.

[acourtofquestions]

So Long, London is literally Feyre and Tamlin

[blkkizzat]

'SINS OF THE FATHER'

PRIEST!NANAMI X READER

✟ the liturgy: (summary) Even the most pious of men succumb to temptation and Father Kento is no exception... especially when it comes to you. (Priest!Nanami POV) ✟ the confession: (tw) dark themes, sacrilege, adultery, blasphemy, jealously, exhibitionism, blackmail/manipulation, heavy biblical references, cunnalingus, fingering, riding dick, shoe fucking, blow jobs, panty sniffing, olfactophilia, dacryphilia, lightly suggested altarboy!yuji (aged-up) x reader, oil tycoon!gojo x reader, suggested mentions of reader x other jjk men, corruption, masturbation and angst as you are literally tormenting this poor priest (lol). ✟ the sins: (wc) 4.1k ✟ the opening rites:(a/n) i grew up catholic (got confirmed too) and went to catholic school but haven't stepped inside a church in literal years. i was honestly surprised how many bible references came so easily from pure memory while writing this.

Sanctified conviction radiates off Father Kento as he approaches the inordinately adorned wood carved pulpit with authority to address his congregation. 

Despite the uncomfortable Summer heat there is no lack of attendance, a sea of familiar faces packed into the small town chapel. The buzzing song of cicadas and soft oscillation of the large fan circulating humid air through the church are the only sounds heard as the masses eagerly await his homily.

You were among them of course. 

Sitting front and center– a small saccharine smile graced your lips while your doe-like eyes, captivated and attentive, were made even bigger as they raised to the podium to meet his own.

Bible open, Father Kento takes a full breath pause before he finally speaks, his gaze is benevolent yet his voice is firm as it projects over the congregation. 

“Dear Brothers and Sisters– Let us reflect on the gospel of First Corinthians Chapter 10 Verse 13…and The Lord says– ‘There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man—”

Oh but you– you were anything but common– and irregardless of any higher standing his status as a clergy member bestowed upon him he was still a man of flesh and blood.

No matter the effort exerted, Father Kento had been unable to keep his eyes from yours during the service. The magnetism of unknown and certainly unholy forces drew him to you time and again without fail.

No beauty in town rivaled yours, not with an angelic countenance that complemented your delicate features so gracefully in your every action. 

Yours was a form of divine femininity rivaling that of Venus herself. 

If that wasn’t beguiling enough, your honeyed voice and syrupy words had the ability to sway even the most feral of temperaments. Leaving those who heard it at your mercy like a gentle but deadly siren.

“—but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able—”

Is God faithful? 

Ironic how you had Father Kento questioning the very foundations of his own faith while simultaneously indoctrinating God’s dogma to his faithful parishioners.  

If you were a test he had failed. 

Many times.

Even the first man, Adam, had fallen to Eve’s allures and not even the warrior strength of Samson was able to overcome Delilah’s seductions. 

Who was he to prevail where the biblical idols had fallen?

What actual grace could God give man against the sensual temptation that he had carved from man’s own rib? 

Father Kento had felt forsaken of God’s grace ever since you had approached him after mass to quietly request the rites of confession. He should have refused when you kindly solicited him to perform them in the cooler confines of the secluded rectory over the oven-like heat of a chapel confessional box in summer. 

Led astray so effortlessly by your genial charms as you looked to him like a lamb lost and addressed him so meekly as “Father Kento”. He would have just as easily given you access to heaven then if it were in his power.

Yet it was you who had so graciously led him to the gates of Zion— which so conveniently happened to reside in the velvety depths between your thighs. 

Consequently, the only sins that were confessed in the rectory that day were the moist squelches of your peach-ripened pussy gushing around his cock and coalescing with the frenzied sounds of hot flesh slapping together in unison. 

A child of Lilth incarnate to be sure but you looked so pure and celestial, even in ecstasy.

Hair matted to the sides of your face drenched in sweat while your nimble hands clutched onto his clerical collar. Your eyes filled with such loving devotion and you rode him earnestly as if it was your life’s penance. 

Father Kento in turn gives you his absolution by taking you from behind. The swell of your plump rear rippling against his hips and shared fluids splashing onto his hard abdomen feverishly drive him closer to God than he’d ever been.

Yes, he is weak. 

But Father Kento held the conviction that not even The Vicar of Christ, the Pope himself would be able to resist the vice grip of your silken cunt as if its true purpose was never to bear life but to wring out the very essence of the soul of man. 

He’d fallen prey to a day-walking succubus on hallowed holy grounds. 

No– Father Kento was certain if this church had ever truly been blessed as a house of God you would have caught aflame the moment you graced its threshold. 

“—but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye are able to bear it’.”

Father Kento concluded the passage. Nonetheless, neither it nor any other doctrine had provided him the solace of escape and nor biblical strength did he receive to endure against his temptations.

There was no resisting you. 

There was no escaping you. 

For anyone you cast your sights on.

This is exemplified by the obvious effect you have on the young alter boy Yuji. 

Barely old enough to be called a man, the youth's entire body flinches whenever you spare a sweet glance in his direction. 

Has Yuji’s innocence already been stolen? 

Father Kento must quell the inkling of jealousy at the thought lest he stumble over his words and shame himself further.

He was a man in every sense of the word and a man of the cloth, he would not compete for your adulterous affections with his own altar boy.

Even so, Father Kento’s lip does curl in disapproval at the deep flush of guilt on Yuji’s cheeks. Yuji clumsily trips over his own feet, nearly permitting the blessed vessels for the rites of eucharist to fall to the ground.

Harlot! Have you really allowed someone other than himself to bathe in the sins of Jezebel?

Maintaining composure through his sermon, Father Kento reminds himself that an inexperienced youth is no threat. 

However it is more than likely Yuji– who normally is so oblivious in nature– had likewise become aware of the wicked exhibition of sacrilege occurring beneath the prayer cloth in your lap at the very hands of your own husband– Satoru Gojo.

“So you may ask where does that leave us as followers of Christ? Temptations lure us into doing, saying or thinking something that does not reflect who we really are as sons and daughters of God.”

Neither you nor your husband were Christ’s children so none of these ideologies applied to either of you.

Nefarious philistines the both of you– godless and immoral.

Although Father Kento was for certain your husband, Oil Tycoon, Satoru Gojo– was the only one whose deeds could put yours to shame. 

The white haired devil had descended upon the quiet small town like a thief in the night to greedily capture the first few drops of black gold that surged from the earth before it could even fall to the ground. Quickly buying up land and resources, in less than a fortnight Gojo essentially had control over the entire town– its priest included.

But as he became more wealthy, so did the town and its people. Satoru Gojo built up the town around him to match his own gluttony for opulence, taking the town and its people away from simple old time comforts and into the more complex modern age. 

Therefore the man was seen as a saintly savior, rather than the lecherous leech he truly was.

To Father Kento’s credit, if he deserved any at all– he had initially held strong in his faith. 

He was not a man tempted by the power that would come from a promotion to bishop if a larger church was built. Nor was he tempted by monetary gain. The treasures he had always held most valuable were only those to be found in God’s kingdom.

Familiar with the tricks masked by flamboyant arrays of grandior, Father Kento’s folly had been his own headstrong vainglory in being a man above the lures of temptation. Thus he failed in recognizing you as the seductive snake in sheep's clothing the cunning tycoon Gojo had sent to be his undoing.

And you had never once failed to unravel him.

Even now Father Kento struggles to keep himself together as you inconspicuously lean against your husband, your head resting gently on his shoulder while the dainty fan you are holding obscures the lower half of your face. 

What appears as an innocuous attempt to halt the perspiration rolling from your nape into your heaving bosom is merely a front to hide the sinful ‘o’ your cherry lips form.

Your chest softly heaves although your labored breaths aren’t from the humid heat shrouding the church– but the increasing warmth dampening in your loins. All which had been provoked by your husband slipping two fingers through the buttons of your thin sundress and into your pussy, lightly teasing its gooey folds. Gojo’s movements are mostly concealed by the cloth but Father Kento can make out the skillful circular motions stroking your spongy bud and causing the sporadic twitch in your knees. 

You had writhed similarly under him. You were always far too sensitive.

Fat tears would never fail to pour from your bright eyes when he would latch his mouth onto your sex. You would be his last supper if ever given the choice. If heaven had a flavor it would surely be akin to the taste of your pink candied cunt and he knew of no sweeter treat on earth.

Twas no wonder then how Father Kento easily loses all sense of self when flicking his tongue into your gaping slit. Swirling the appendage within your gummy walls he gluttonously slurps down the steady stream of your flowing nectar. 

Your mewls and cries for him are far lovelier than even the song of cherubim. Father Kento has committed them to memory and as such he knows when they reach a certain octave– your pitch so high it's practically soundless– you're nearing your nirvana.

Arriving at your peak you would thread your hands through his blonde locks and thrust your hips forward as if his mouth were salvation itself. Your manicured nails would dig into his scalp to rock his head deeper into your plump pussy. The actions would beckon his tongue to finally give you its mercy by dragging it flat up your folds to suckle and nip at your swollen clit.

You never called on God then. 

Nor your husband. 

Only Father Kento.

Coincidentally, Father Kento’s gaze locks with Gojo’s for a brief moment and Gojo’s pale lips curl into smirk. 

A fleeting look is shared before contact is broke but the message is clear: 

Satoru Gojo own’s everything in this town. 

Gojo owns your cunt. 

Your cunt owns Father Kento.

Therefore by proxy Gojo owns him.

The revelation has Father Kento showing the white of his knuckles from the intensity of his grip on the pulpit podium as you simultaneously release a silent scream brazenly cumming on your husband’s dexterous fingers in the middle of mass. 

“The time now is propitious for us all to make a journey of conversion, led by sincere faith to allow ourselves to be confronted with the Gospel. Let us confirm this commitment by sharing in The Body and The Blood of Christ.”

Proceeding with communion the altar boy Yuji stands next to Father Kento holding the tray where the blessed chalice of wine and platter of thin wafers reside as the congregation dutifully exits their rows to receive the eucharist. 

As it is the more modern way to receive communion the majority of the congregation choses to place their non-dominant palm up over the other to respectfully receive the host. Yet traditionally, the priest placed the blessed wafer directly on the tongue of the one receiving. This practice was typically only seen by the elderly, the most exceedingly pious and of course— you.

When it is your turn to approach you beam brightly as you and all your beauty seem to float before him.

“The Body of Christ.”

Father Kento raises the host before you.

“Amen.” 

You obediently replied. 

Like expected your eyes fluttered to close as your pillowy lips parted in order to accept the host directly in your mouth. 

God help him, this was the most sacred part of mass but the way your deviant tongue lulls out hot and thick with your saliva pooled on the edge and threatening to spill onto your lips has Father Kento shifting at his post.

You look just as compliant and yearning to receive as when you had been on your knees before him taking his cock in your mouth whole.

Father Kento delicately placed the host in your mouth in a similar fashion as to when he would tap the tip of his bulbous leaking cockhead onto your tongue. 

So willing to please you kiss his angry red mushroom tip to appease his cock, swirling your tongue over the tiny hole before puckering it between your lips to greedily suck any drops of pre that dribbled forth as you pumped his base.

You were a tease. 

That much was evident both then and now as you extended the tip of your tongue to caress the tip of his finger. A tiny kitten lick, but nevertheless a tingle ran through his cock in remembrance.  

“The Blood of Christ.”

Father Kento presents the wine symbolizing the blood before you. 

“Amen.”

Again you closed your eyes and allowed Father Kento to press the chalice against your parted lips. 

The very picture of amenability, you actually enjoyed when he went rougher on you as a result of your teasing. Father Kento would gather your hair into a tight grip as he not-so-gently rammed his cock past your tonsils and down your throat. 

It was unnatural and ungodly for a person to lack any semblance of a gag reflex such as you. 

In response you pressed your fingers into his thighs– not as a means of resistance, but to control your own lust as you began shamelessly humping your mound against his leg. You were always desperate to feel any small sensation against your cunt while he ravaged your mouth.

Of course, Father Kento would oblige you and in turn he is rewarded with the heavy moans that would vibrate around his cock as his oxford loafer pushed up into your soaked core. Your white lace lingerie did little to contain your juices and as such Father Kento made use of the fluids leaking from your pussy as polish to shine his shoe.

Having sipped the wine from the chalice you peer up at Father Kento as if seeking his approval. 

He gives you a small nod. 

Similar to the one he bestows upon you after his seed has filled your stomach and you lick your lips as if it was his essence and not The Blood of Christ that lingered on them.

In the beginning, he had prayed long and hard to forget those sinful images of you that would intrude unwelcomed into his mind. 

Yet you always had ways of sucking him back in. 

Such as leaving your soiled panties stuffed between his headboard. Father Kento thought he was going mad when even after changing the sheets thrice was he still plagued with your smell.

He should have burned the offensive garment as soon as it was discovered and yet he treated it with reverence as if it were a holy object of salvation. Truly an euphoric experience, on days he couldn’t have you he’d bury his nose into the fabric murmuring blasphemy as he worshiped the very scent of you while jerking his cock.

When Father Kento finally ceased trying to resist you he then had the fleeting thought he could save you. Bring you to God and away from your villainous husband. 

But you were no Mary Magdalene, there was no returning you to the flock.

You will not leave your husband who provides you wealth and security. Father Kento is not so enamored he holds illusions that extend beyond his reality. There is nothing Father Kento owns and nothing he can offer you but himself. 

The singular consolation of the tragic circumstances is that Father Kento is sure you prefer his touch. The touch of a seemingly pious man who only has desires for you.

Unlike your scoundrel of a husband who Father Kento was sure had not remained faithful to your marriage bed. Not the way most of the female townsfolk threw themselves at Satoru Gojo. If he had no qualms using you to achieve his means he certainly had none for himself. 

You were simply a pawn to be played, as was Father Kento.

“Before we depart I leave you with these words: Let every day be a new day to renew the promises of our Baptism: We renounce Satan and all his works and seductions — for sh– *ahem* HE – is the seducer. Now go forth, Brothers and Sisters and remain true in the light of God.”

The closing rites over, Father Kento has never been more relieved nor eager for the conclusion of a mass. Watching the congregation mingle in the entrance, he gives his farewell blessings to the parishioners.

A few still remained however you were nowhere to be seen. 

This was not odd, the Gojos were a busy couple, likely excusing themselves immediately to attend to more important affairs.

Or so he hoped.

“There you are, Father! Riveting service, as always.”

With a devious grin and a firm drawn-out handshake Gojo greets Father Kento. Turning to face the devil himself, Father Kento greets Satoru in turn with a strained smile and an even firmer grip. 

Yet still he is unable to show you any of the wrath you justly deserve and Father Kento’s smile is more genuine when he faces you.  

You regard Father Kento coyly as your husband’s arm tightens around your waist. Your face is flushed and it’s evident you are still weakened from the orgasm your husband gave you earlier in front of the entire congregation. 

That knowledge though is only held by the three of you, God and perhaps the altar boy Yuji.

Father Kento had never known you to be silent when cumming so the exertion of the effort you expended likely weighed heavy on you as displayed by how you are clinging to Gojo to keep from swaying on your feet. 

“Thank you. I am but a humble messenger of The Lord’s wor–.”

“– Wait. Hold that thought!”

Father Kento’s eyebrow twitches as Gojo's attention is momentarily called elsewhere. 

Every Sunday, a growing number of parishioners would seek Satoru Gojo’s greeting and recognition after service over that of their priest Father Kento. 

True to character Gojo makes an obnoxious show of charisma which leaves the last group of parishioners fawning and singing his praises as they exit.

“Forgive me, Father. Where were we? Ah– Of course! Yes, you are quite excellent in your delivery of God’s word, a true testament to your faith!”

His flattery is so obviously false in its sincerity that Father Kento is not surprised when Gojo’s sordid smirk returns. 

“But you are not only a messenger for The Lord… isn’t that right, Father Kento?” 

Father Kento warily clutches onto the large cross dangling from the rosary around his neck as Gojo continues.

“I’ll need you to spread mine as well. Haven’t you heard? I have plans to run for Mayor.”

Mayor.

The diabolical fiend truly knew no limits in his quest for control over the town. 

“I’ll need you to come over to dinner tonight to consult with the rest of my top supporters.”

Father Kento steeled himself.. 

There was nothing he could do to stop Satoru Gojo from being mayor but his infatuation with you aside, he could not walk straight into the lion's den to collude with heathens. 

It would be the final nail in his coffin, Gojo would indeed own his soul.

“Oh! Y/N is prepping a feast too… aren’t you, angel?” 

Gojo’s grip on your waist trails lower to palm the fat of your ass and you clutch on to him tighter as you nod eagerly in agreement, biting your lip as his large hands knead into your cheeks through your wispy dress. 

Your body is ever responsive to Gojo’s touch just like he trained you to be.

“I must refuse. I have duties here to attend, I couldn’t poss–”

“P-Please F-Father…”

And just like that your delicate voice cuts through his iron defenses like it were warm butter.

“…K-Kento, p-please come!”

Your request fumbles out of your lips as a cry as Gojo’s devilish fingers dip past your ass to prod at your cunt.

“You heard her Father. She wants you to come. Break bread with us, you will be among friends. Friends who know how to share, yeah? I’ll even share a piece of her cream pie for dessert.” 

That had been the final straw. Gojo had gone too far this time.

You seeking him out was one matter but he would not allow Satoru Gojo of all people to dangle you in front of him like a master would dangle a treat to a dog.

“Begone, you foul heretic. I will not tolerate your mockery of me, this church nor God any longer.”

Commanding in his tone, Father Kento extends the cross of the rosary forward to Gojo as if he were casting a malevolent curse back down to hell. 

Father Kento doesn’t have the courage to look at you though, he can’t. Not if he wants to take a triumphant stand against Satoru Gojo.

And so Father Kento closes his eyes and silently prays. 

Immediately bored at such a devout display, Gojo sighs rolling his eyes.

“Alright, alright, Father. I get it. Whatever you say, jeez. It’s not like I need your support to become mayor– just thought it would be nice is all. ”

Father Kento remains silent as he listens to both of your footsteps exit the church but not before Gojo stops at the doors, his cheerful voice taking on a dangerous edge.

“Heh, you know, not everyone in this town is as pious as you Father. Sheriff Fushiguro has never been one to turn down a stack of bills but I’m sure tonight he would enjoy sharing in Y/N’s creampie if you don’t.”

Father Kento’s eyes open to flash red with fury.

Having received a satisfactory enough reaction from the priest, Gojo grins wildly as your own eyes widen in shock at your husband’s words. 

Has Gojo only ever used you to manipulate him alone? 

The thought remains as Father Kento doesn’t miss the pleading gaze directed at him from over your shoulder as you are led out of the church.

Goddammit– He couldn’t let you fall into the brutish clutches of Toji Fushiguro. 

Toji may have been the sheriff but he was well-known for his oafish demeanor and greasy womanizing ways. 

NO! He mustn’t think of you any longer. 

Father Kento needs to clear his mind of you for good with prayer.

Prayer and solitude.

Deep prayer and extensive solitude was what he needed if he ever hoped to rise again to gain God’s favor. He needed to call upon The Lord’s strength one last time to remain at the parish tonight and defy Gojo’s will.

Father Kento couldn’t let the pleasures of flesh continue to manipulate the very fibers of his being in such a way. 

The rosary still in his grasp Father Kento raises his hands close in prayer as a final call for God’s mercy… and then it hits him– wafting off his fingers, overwhelming his senses and igniting every nerve in his being. 

The scent of your cunt. 

The lingering perfume of your sinful drippings spilled on your husband’s hand during mass had been transferred to his own when Gojo shook his hand and held it so firmly.

The bastard. 

The rush hits him hard and he feels dizzy as his ears begin to ring. Vertigo overtakes Father Kento as he holds the offending hand out as if he had been poisoned. 

Leaning back against a wall to gather himself, Father Kento realizes once the manic pounding coursing through his veins begins throbbing in his loins that he’s fated for damnation.

This is the moment he’d always dreaded although ironic with the simple acceptance of it he feels no despair. 

Father Kento’s conviction is finally clear as he is left with a singular truth that rang through his entire soul:

Whatever solace he would know, whatever peace he would have in this life, he would only find with his cock buried in the sweet embrace of your cunt. 

✟

©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

✟ the closing rites: (a/n) hell is hot and it's surely my destination after writing this. i tried to leave it a little ambiguous to whether y/n is actually in-love with nanami or just a sex-crazed slut eager to use him at the request of her husband. i don't have a pt.2 planned just fyi as this is meant to be a oneshot. although i do need to write more nanami so i will take requests for him! but fair warning i am very slow i apologize.

also shout out to the amazing art i used for the gfx ✟ art by mishwell

✟ REBLOG to be unburdened of your sins by Father Nanami but likes and comments are also appreciated!

upcoming: the nursery (yakuza!toji), please teach me! (ceo!gojo), request: teasing choso (college au), request: sukuna x blkreader, [none in any order as im at the mercy of my adhd lol]

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Jane Fonda (Barbarella, Sunday in New York, Barefoot in the Park)—Feminist icon, LGBTQ+ rights activist since the 70s, Civil Rights and Native American rights advocate, environmentalist… she really is THE woman ever

Eartha Kitt (Anna Lucasta, St. Louis Blues)—My friend and I have a saying: NOBODY is Eartha Kitt. A thousand have tried, and they've all come up empty and will continue to do so. Everyone knows her for something: from "Santa Baby" to Yzma in Emperor's New Groove to Catwoman to making Lady Bird Johnson cry for the Vietnam War. She was a master of comedy and sex, an extremely vocal activist, and she aged like fine wine... I honestly don't know what I can say about her that hasn't already been said, so I'll stick to linking all my propaganda. Like what else do you want from me. She was iconic at everything she ever did. Literally name another. How can anyone even think of her and not want to absolutely drown?

This is round 6 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Jane Fonda:

"I assume she's already been submitted but I gotta make sure. I think there's an element to movies like Barbarella or her segment of Spirit of the Dead of those having been directed by her husband, who famously made movies about her being hot, and the incredible costume design also helped, but good lord. Look at her"

"She was so pretty, dear lord! She was and still us stunning. She’s great at comedy and drama."

"Shes so hot im so gay for me i will let her hit me with hers car"

"Gorgeous and also still getting arrested at climate protests, which is sexy behavior"

"Watching her in Barefoot in the Park seriously made me, a straight woman, question things"

"PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH"

"Her vibes in these movies are so interesting because she, the daughter of an Old Hollywood star, went on to make both poignant dramatic movies and the some of the silliest things you've ever seen but even in the silly space adventures and sexploitations there's always this undeniable gravitas to her. It's like she's able not to take herself very seriously but at the same time never stops having this grace and elegance and makes it all work together. And she's always been very politically active which is also sexy. Her famous mugshot is from 1970 so right at the cutoff mark but come on"

Eartha Kitt:

"A hot vintage woman who was not just known for her voice, beauty, poise, and presence, but also her unapologetic ways of speaking about how she was mistreated in the show business as a girl who grew up on cotton fields in South Carolina in the 1930s through the 1940s coming to Broadway first and then Hollywood."

"Have you watched her sing?? Have you seen her face?? Have you heard her talk?? How could you not fall instantly in love. She makes me incoherent with how hot she is."

"She can ACT she can SING she can speak FOUR LANGUAGES she is a GODDESS!!! Although she is (rightfully) remembered for her singing, TV appearances (Catwoman my beloved), and later film roles, her early appearances in film are no less impressive or noteworthy!! She’s an amazing actress with so much charisma in every role. She was also blacklisted from Hollywood for 10 years for criticizing the Johnson administration/Vietnam War, so. Iconic. Also Orson Welles apparently called her “the most exciting woman in the world.”

"She had such a stunning, remarkable appearance, like she could tear you to shreds with just a glance- but the most undeniable part of her hotness was her voice, and it makes sense that it's what most people nowadays know her for. Nothing encapsulates the sheer magnetism of her singing better than this clip of her and Nat King Cole in St. Louis Blues, she pops in at 2:49. Also I know it's post-1970 but her song that was cut from Emperor's New Groove is likely to make you feel Feelings."

"Even with as racist as Hollywood was in the 1950s and 60s, Eartha Kitt STILL managed to have a thriving career. She also once had a threesome with Paul Newman and James Dean, and called out LBJ over the Vietnam War so hard that it made First Lady Johnson cry. Eartha Kitt was talented, sexy, and a total badass activist."

[jazzically]

ok how bout i go through it (spoilers ahead for both the album and for tma!! i'd personally recommend going in blind and then reading this review)

lmao i say that like a question but you already know i will hold you here until you are done listening to me talk and talk and talk and t

SPOILERS BELOW!

1. spiraling down is an absolute VIBE. i am really really enjoying this

OHMG THEY SAMPLED MICHAELS LAUGH THATS SICK!!!!!! THIS IS GENUINELY INCREDIBLE. 8/10 because its a great song absolute banger but doesnt really mesh with the spiral/themes of insanity as much as it could imo

additional notes: omg how did i not catch the door opening/closing noises at the beginning and end of the song on my first listen. hello.

2. this is glorious ambiance. omg. OH MY GOD OH MYG OD THAT'S TERRIFYING

holy CRAP

HOLY CRAP DUDE JUST go listen to this i am BLOWN AWAY by the production quality and attention to detail

corruption is flawless so far

JESUS

that was 10/10 hands down glorious. very sinister. i wont spoil it for you but it's an experience

3. YAAAAAS I LOVE BREAKBEAT its chill in like a desolation type way

really really sick bass going on here holy shoes

THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY AMAZING I LOVE THEM ALL I LOVE THEMMM they're all different and magical and vibey in their own ways

ok im kinda getting the style of this artist now. i rescind my earlier comments about the spiral not being spiral-adjacent enough for me. for this style it's PERFECTION

DOES SHE FEEL IT!!!!!? BECAUSE IT'S ALL HAPPENED BEFORE!!!!!

4. OMG THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. STRAIGHT FIRE

this is really reminding me of milwaukee protocol A6 (milwaukee protocol is another fantastic underrated album that i highly recommend)

5. the use of sfx in this project is completely insane it's gorgeous dude

OOOOGH

i can see you seeing me ...

oh my lord jons voice in the background

HOLY CHRIST THAT BEAT DROP

LITERALLY BONKERS

im in AWE *explodes*

this is what played during 200 actually. i make the rules

this is actually genuinely fantastic music though. i did noT expect it to be THIS good

6. WHOA I AM SPOOKED

i ADORE THIS ONE !!!!!!! IT'S PERFECT FOR THE DARK!!!!!

7. THAT WAS INCREDIBLE I HAV E NO WORDS it sounded like a lovely deep purple

8. WOW OK STRAIGHT FIRE RIGHT OFF THE BAT????

YOOOOOOOO THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

every time i think of the flesh as a fear i remember jonny saying he was proud of its justification (fear of being nothing more than your body, fear of being warped and horribly disfigured beyond recognition, fear of being hurt and of being chopped up and consumed) and YES JONNY I AGREE YOU SHOULD BE

anyway totally amazing

OH HELLLLLL YESSSSSSSSSS THEY USED A CLIP FROM KILLING FLOOR MY FAVORITE MAG (well it's the one i say is my favorite — definitely top ten at least)

IM GETTING ACTUAL CHILLS JESUS

9. AYE THAT WAS SICK

oooooh ???

HOLY FRICK.

THE USE OF DRUMS IN THIS IS BRILLIANT DO YOU HEAR THOSE RIDES CRASHING

the best way i can articulate my thoughts is this: these songs sound exactly like a poetic description of the fears they convey

OHHHH MYY GOOODDDD THIS IS SOOOO GOOODDD

!!!!!!you can tell a tonnnn of work went into these

im going to need to relisten to this all the way through,, oh my

10. i predict this one will either sound incredibly muffled or earsplittingly loud

hmm ok so far very mellow

OOOO STRINGS

this kinda beat is right up my alley

11. AAAAAAAbsolute vibe. loving it. lovvve. definitely very interesting

12. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!! IT'S EVERYTHGING!!!!!! iT'S EVERYTHING I HOPED IT WOULD BE I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS IM SCREAMING AND SBBING DYING ON THE FLOOR i "fell" in love with the vast a while ago (he h heh) and i have NEEDDED something like this in my life this is the most amazing vast ambiance i have eEVER heard oh mygodoogodmy god new go-to unlocked 100000000000/10

13. OH M GEE LONELY IS PERFECT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FLAWLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this could work for vast too i think but it's more melancholy. it sounds like it would play in martin's domain. screaming screaming internally i feel so

its making me feel things bro

oh this is just gorgeous all around

im obsessed im CRAZY

the slow descent...into "maybe it's better this way".... the loss of self. so acutely conveyed through music.

that gentle pause that says i dont know what to do anymore now that im alone; i guess i just keep going.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVVVVVE for the second half of the song they somehow made drums belong in the lonely hello??

THE ECHOES are hurting me in my soul this is BRILLIANT.

NNNNO STOP THEY ADDED MORE PAIN

14. TERMINUS!!!!!! LETS GOOOOO!!!!!!!!! oh i am fEELING this minecraft end dimension ahh sound ok get it

i really like that they put the end at the end lol

it needs no ritual, for in its infinite patience it knows inevitability

me when i slowly approach death with this playing

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ENNNNDDDING NOTESSSS

this entire album is so so so beautiful please feel free to check it out 👍

tbh tma video game when?? and also please hire this guy for it??

HELLO. I GENUINELY CANT PICK A FAVORITE. i adore them all for different reasons.

i like how hunted is really long and sort of repetitive — it articulates that feeling of the never-ending chase. also its STRAIGHT FIRE so ive just been listening to it over and over

corruption is BRILLIANT for a variety of reasons i love love love that one

currently listening to ceaseless watcher because both the BASS and the BEAT DROP are INSANE im so normal about this audio art of this other thing that im also very normal about

ehehe thanks :D

guys btw i found this fabulous af tma fan album — fourteen tracks, one per fear — largely instrumental but it's ABsoLUTEly AMAZING. epicest ever. it's called "panopticon" and is by harvo.

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (16) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n the isms of a long-distance, working couple i'm back!!! this was supposed to be published in july my bad y'all i got busy :)

masterlist | last part | part 16 | next part

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by lukaszhang and 298,193 others

selinabui happy birthday to the best cousin i could've asked for. thanks for being some racing-obsessed weirdo, for playing video games with me across the world and most of all for once punching some guy in the face for me. love from: the more talented, overall better, most adorable cousin you could've asked for <3 (you'll always be the coolest older brother!) tagged: zhouguanyu24

zhouguanyu24 Being nice to me 🤨 ↳ selinabui @.zhouguanyu24 just respecting the elderly

linasgirl4 THEEEEE best cousin duo

emptybottlos they're very dear to me actually

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 8h IT'S RACE WEEEEEEEEEEK ↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 8h 2024 CANADIAN GP FIRST OSCAR WIN MANIFESTING MANIFESTINGGGGGGGG

liv is SEEING EB LIVE!! @olivielina · 4h berlin empty bottles fans, did lina sound stuffy live? in the videos i've seen she looks sick ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 3h heard from oomf that cami said lina had a bit of a cold :(

INSTAGRAM

chrisyamada 🎵 | Chris Yamada · Pins and Needles (ft. Selina Bui from Empty Bottles)

liked by emptybottles_official and 738,859 others

chrisyamada Surprise drop? @.selinabui and I are pleased to present, to our humble fans, a little collab we recorded back in April. Without further ado, enjoy 'Pins and Needles' tagged: selinabui

selinabui fyi the electric guitar solo is ME bc as if he could ever shred that cool ↳ chrisyamada @.selinabui i totally could

linasgirl4 yall... what in tarnation why have you been sitting on this for 2 months 😭😭😭

lukaszhang ok but when's the mv dropping 🤨 ↳ moonbeamlina @lukaszhang there's... there's a music video 🥹

ceciliapham omfg it sounds so good oooohh it's a slow song ahhh her voice is angelic fr June 7

selinabui Paris, France

liked by oliviarodrigo and 332,164 others

selinabui "are you happy to be in paris?" OUI!

pastry81 close enough, welcome back oscalina!!! ↳ selinabui @.pastry81 oscar pastryyyy 🥺

tina_kim SO NOT OVER PINS AND NEEDLES I'M STARVED FOR NEW MUSIC

oscarpiastri hey there ↳ selinabui @.oscarpiastri oh hi 🥰

aidan_ebass Never ever going to watch a show with you again. Please learn to shut up 🫶 June 9

TWITTER

kay ♡ @ blackcatluna · 1h it genuinely feels like there's an EB show every second night, do these people even sleep 😭😭😭

president linami @.linaminami · 43m is it just me or is the european leg really really busy? ↳ president linami @.linaminami · 42m the band barely has any time to breathe because they keep hoping to countries with like a day or two leeway ↳ president linami @.linaminami · 42m berlin to paris had a four day gap which is one of the longest gap between shows

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 1h tbh it's not super surprising that lina got sick; it's still cold in the northern parts and she wears mini dresses and short skirts for two hours in the evening; plus she's probably exhausted and burning out

lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 12m three back to back paris shows... i'm a little worried for lina's health

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

pookie piastri @.op81ln4 · 9h got blessed with cat energy oscar video from mclaren thank you lord 🙏

lina !!! @EB_selina · 4h can i physically afford to watch this race; send advice (i'm sick lmao) ↳ Aidan Park @EB_Aidan · 4h Selina, you have a 40 degree fever get off your phone ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 4h wdym... i'm not on my phone 🥸 ↳ Oscar Piastri @.OscarPiastri · 1h Hey... what did you mean by 40 degree fever 🤨

piaa⁸¹ @.papayaeightyone · 12m uh wtf happened to charles??? ↳ lanaaaaa @.sharlleglrg · 8m that's the monaco curse oversleeping

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

INSTAGRAM

selinabui_news

liked by ceciliapham and 12,002 others

selinabui_news 📱Screencaps of Lina from the Empty Bottles instagram live. Get well soon baby 🥺 tagged: selinabui

piastri_lina how does she still look better than me on the brink of death????

amelia_belrose i hope she feels better soon :( but did you see her face when kas panned the camera over 😭 i thought i was about to witness a murder

marie_h.sb she's been going on stage every night like that 😧 June 11

TWITTER

TMD Tour News @EB-TMDTour · 56m Lina was talking to a fan during the encore, asked for his name and got flustered when he said "Oscar" #TMDWorldTour ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 32m help i think she broke why did it take her 15 seconds to say something 😭😭😭 ↳ president linami @ linaminami · 49m actually wheezing at kas' face, he seriously can't believe she's that down bad oml

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 40m i'm eating gooooooood tonight

pookie piastri @.op81ln4 · 23m somewhere on earth oscar piastri is kicking his legs and giggling at that clip of his gf's brain shutting down at the mention of his name

camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 11m this is unironically the antithesis of that sabrina moment with a fan named joshua like 😭 similar reaction of disbelief and surprise but the context could not be more different

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

lina !!! @EB_selina · 4h this is actually really mortifying and i'd appreciate if we all collectively wiped it from memory ↳ Oscar Piastri @.OscarPiastri · 3h It's actually my new ringtone for you ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 3h count ur lucky stars we're not in the same country right now

cami yang @EB_Cami · 38m what if i said i'm also feeling a little messy 🤔

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf @eiaaasamantha @sp1rl @destinyg237 @iloveyou3000morgan

[felassan]

What's all this about Solas speaking in iambic pentameter? English isn't my first language so I never noticed anything odd about the way he talks, but your blog is the first time I've seen it mentioned by anyone

hello! ◕‿◕ Solas sometimes speaks in a specific pattern or rhythm. It sometimes gets described as or compared by people to iambic pentameter. (which is a type of rhythm common in traditional English poetry. Shakespeare used it in his sonnets and plays.) Though, I'm not sure that it's actually literally that or always that. The main point is that at those times, he's speaking particularly poetically, with a specific poetic rhythm in his speech. (Like where the stress on syllables is and the 'beats' in his speech.) Occasionally, the Inquisitor's dialogue line[s] in response to him are the same.

When Trick Weekes wrote Solas in DA:I, they wrote some of his key scenes to KD Lang's cover of the song Hallelujah on a loop. They talked about some of their process and the reasons for the use of this technique in terms of Solas' characterization in this DA:I-era blog post:

Trick Weekes: "When Solas talks about things that he saw in the Fade, things that speak to a distant past, I needed him to sound ever so slightly otherworldly and wistful – someone remembering a dream with a sense of both sadness and inevitability. If you follow [that link] and look at some of Solas’s lines, you may notice a familiar rhythm come out. It would have been forcing it to give lines the same rhyme scheme, but giving the words the meter captured some of that wistfulness and made Solas sound ever so slightly otherworldly. (In the rare cases the player got into the same rhythm, there was always an approval bump from Solas. For that brief period, it was like the player was thinking like he did.) I used this a few times over the game, and I love what it did to his voice. Also, Cori (who edited Solas) is exceedingly kind for putting up with my request that changes to those lines keep this surreptitious rhythm."

[source]

An example of when it happens in DA:I is:

"I've journeyed deep into the Fade // in ancient ruins and battlefields // to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I've watched as hosts of spirits clash // to reenact the bloody past // in ancient wars both famous and forgotten. Every great war // has its heroes. // I'm just curious // what kind you'll be."

Compare this with the song's lyrics:

"I heard there was a secret chord // That David played, and it pleased the Lord // You don't really care for music, do ya? Well it goes like this: The fourth, the fifth // The minor fall, the major lift // The baffled king composing Hallelujah Hallelujah // Hallelujah // Hallelujah // Hallelujah"

An example from Trespasser is:

"I lay in dark and dreaming sleep [I heard there was a secret chord] while countless wars and ages passed [That David played, and it pleased the Lord] I woke still weak a year before I joined you. [You don't really care for music, do ya?]" etc.

Recent mentions of this are:

Q. Will Solas still occasionally or dramatically speak in iambic pentameter? A. “Massive kudos to Patrick, who always writes Solas so well. Again, Solas is a returning character. It’s the same Solas you know and love (or hate depending on who you are). The same writer. So I think the answer is yeah, it’s Solas.” – John Epler

[source: BioWare dev Discord Q&A on June 14th]

User: "you really went off with solas. but the iambic pentameter makes writing fanfic dialogue for him so treacherous..." Trick Weekes: "It doesn't always have to be in the cadence! Just when he's deeply feeling The Old Days! He's written in standard prose 99% of the time!"

[source]

I think he does it a bit in the gameplay reveal video [Veil ripping scene with Varric] too. hope this helps :>

[msg refs this post]

[For the developer Q&A from June 14th on Discord: Notes are here, re-watch link is here]

[vidavalor]

Joy

Today, as we know, the word joy usually means happiness in either a non-sexual way ("the cute, baby pumpkin I bought for fall is bringing me so much joy!") and/or in a way pertaining to religiosity ("the Lord brings me joy!"). Neither of these things were original meaning of the word.

The original meaning of joy was sexual ecstasy. It was descriptive of sensual pleasure and/or of having an orgasm. It was a very common way to refer to sex and, prior to an estimated sometime in the 15th century, if you told someone you wanted to "joy with" them, you were saying you wanted to make love with them.

How joy came to be so desexualized as a word is unknown but some etymologists theorize that it is a bit of linguistic revenge for people blasphemously evolving the word passion into being the foremost word used to describe erotic love when it was first developed by Christian theologians, intentionally and specifically, from the Latin pati ("to suffer") as a word to describe the crucification of Christ.

Yes, the current best theory for why joy's primary meanings have evolved away from the erotic is vengeful priests being big mad about people not taking their Jesus word seriously enough and using the church writings and masses to reboot the popular sexy word into a religious one... which then later was also secularized by people to mean just happy, upbeat things. So, if ever there's been a perfectly Good Omens-y word... 🤭

There is actually a song that is, more or less, about this. If you've ever heard Three Dog Night's 1970 song "Joy to the World"-- not the Christmas carol; the one that starts with "Jeremiah was a bullfrog"--what you might not realize is that the song is a trolling of the desexualizing of the word joy by poking fun at religious fundamentalists at the same time as it is using joy in its original meaning. It's both about sex positivity and an anti-war song and was a massive hit. (If Crowley didn't write it in the Good Omens universe, he definitely loved it.) What it wound up showing, though, was just how desexualized the word had become by that point, as many did not realize that the song was using the word's etymology and, instead, credited Three Dog Night with coining joy as an euphemism for sex when, really, they were just explaining its full history and using it in its original meaning.

So, anyway, if, say, a word nerdy demon who has been on Earth since its start were to say to, say, his equally etymology-loving, secret, romantic partner that he thinks it's time for a delivery of some "black market joy", he is absolutely saying he would like to joy with his partner, in the original sense of the word, later that night.

Especially because the literal thing the two of them are delivering in the moment that Crowley brings up joy is whiskey, which is alcohol, and alcohol (all-co-hol = fucking one other) is something we know they enjoy in quite extraordinary amounts (amounts 😂).

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

Replica (Part 1)

Summary: A serf attracts the attention of Perturabo, unaware that she looks exactly like his deceased sister Callifone.

Perturabo/fem!Reader

Warnings: incest (kinda? it's not his sister but she's her copy)

Word count: 1022

This is my first work on Tumblr. I haven't written anything for a long time but I hope that next time it will be better. English is not my mother tongue. So hope that everything will be more or less readable.

Song: Mitski - Washing Machine Heart

“Almost all of my assistants died as a result of one... incident. So we are definitely lucky to have found you among this herd."

You could only purse your lips at that statement. Lucky. In a sense, this was true. Almost all the slaves were immediately sent to hard labor, where only death awaited them. But one of the primarch’s sincere serfs was just looking for a literate slave. So you haven’t really had time to experience all the horrors of a new life before you got a chance to survive yourself.

Still, you continued to think. Why did the Iron Warriors attack a loyal world of the Imperium? If you broke the law, Rogal Dorn would always find out about it and reveal the villains. But like a bolt from the blue, Iron Blood appeared and the assault began. All who miraculously survived were sent into slavery. Almost all the people were from the lowest classes, and only you, the local chronicler, somehow miraculously found your way among this whole crowd.

Your mentor said that lord Perurabo didn’t tolerate illiteracy and ignorance. He didn't want to see such people. That’s why the serfs of the primarch had to do more than just monitor the library. But also carry out other tasks that regular servitors could do.

That's how you start cleaning the primarch’s room. You, three other servants and your mentor briskly huddled around your duties in the hope of not bumping into lord Perturabo. But fate decreed otherwise, and after a couple of minutes the door opened.

“Lord Perturabo,” the mentor spoke by mail, bowing before the primarch. You and the slaves stood near the wall, humbly lowering your head. - “I apologize for disturbing your presence.”

He didn't answer. He didn't even move. Several minutes passed, but he continued to stand in the doorway. Your mouth started to dry. You tried your best not to fidget, so as not to bring down the primarch's wrath. But you still couldn’t shake the strange feeling, as if he...

looked straight at you.

You so wanted to close your eyes and leave this room as quickly as possible. But you could only wait for his order. Goosebumps ran through body. The tension grows. Even your brave mentor became worried. It was immediately clear that such behavior was not characteristic of Perturabo.

“Out.”

A relieved groan almost escaped your lips. It was unbearable to be in this place. Almost suffocating. You hurried after the slaves, continuing to look at the floor. You were almost over the threshold when you were stopped by a huge hand on your shoulder. No. Why? It was your first day. You almost believed that you could adapt to your new life. Maybe it would be better if you died under the rubble. And you never ended up on the Iron Blood.

"Except you".

You almost heard the serfs' thoughts. How they feel sorry for you and how glad they are that they are not in your place. You were still standing when the door closed behind the last serf, and the primarch sat down at his desk, turning his back to you. He didn’t touch the blueprints, instead staring at the table and clenching his fists tightly... as if he was holding himself back from anger.

Startled, you decided to go back to cleaning without waiting for his order. In the end, you managed to overcome your fear, and you were even able to relax. If a mentor were here, he would definitely scold you. But you cannot do your job quickly and efficiently. How could you ignore all these things?

A model of an amphitheater, the structure of Ancient Terra, an unusually shaped clock, puzzles. Never in your life have you seen more skillful work. But most of all, you stayed close to the golden birdcage. It was made so exquisitely and with such love that you kept wiping the non-existent dust off the table. You even saw images of birds and flowers on the bars.

"Like it?"

You shuddered involuntarily when you heard the primarch’s voice. Turning around, you were surprised to see Perturabo. He was still sitting with his back to you, turning his face just a little, as if he didn’t want to see your whole. His eyes shone with curiosity and wariness. He still didn’t touch the drawings.

“Y-yes, very much.” - you whispered, holding the rag to your chest. The primarch continued to glare at you, and you decided to continue the conversation. - “But why is it empty?”

"What is your name?" - Perturabo ignored your question. Confused, you almost whispered your name. Perturabo's face smoothed out slightly. - “Were your ancestors from Olympia?”

You shrugged in confusion. How were you supposed to know? Your family was not poor, but you did not wallow in money. You did not keep records of your family as you did. Perturabo continued to ask you the most common questions. Who you were before becoming serf. As if he was trying to know something that you didn’t understand.

You thought that talking to such an insignificant person like you only disappoints the primarch. But he only relaxed more and more. But when you said that you only have two brothers, he winced. Finally, he turned his gaze to the drawing. Before you could return to work, he suddenly looked at you. There was something in his gaze. You couldn't say exactly what it was.

"Do you wanna take a look?"

Your lips parted in surprise. When you boarded the Iron Blood, you thought your life was over. That you will never see your home world again and will forever be locked in this terrifying place. But here you stand before a primarch who strikes fear and worship into the hearts of humans. And he asks you, YOU, if you want to see his work.

“I'd love to.” - you nodded, holding back your excitement and unrest. You were really curious to know what Lord Perturabo was working on. Perhaps it was your imagination, but a shadow of a smile flashed across the primarch’s face.

Maybe he'll even let you come home.

[decadentfantasy]

Could you do MK11 Fujin, MK1 Earthrealmers (plus Syzoth and Lord Liu Kang) with a DJ/music producer reader?

𝑴𝑲1 𝑴𝑬𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑨 𝑫𝑱/𝑴𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑪 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑫𝑼𝑪𝑬𝑹 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔: Syzoth, Liu Kang, Johnny Cage, Kenshi Takahashi, Raiden, Kung Lao

𝑻𝑾: brief mentions of alcohol

𝑨/𝑵: i'm sorry i took so long to answer, i've been so busy with school and it's completely drained me </3 i promise i'll be active again very soon

❥︎ 𝑺𝒀𝒁𝑶𝑻𝑯

❥︎ Being from Outworld, Syzoth is obviously unfamiliar with your line of work. But that doesn't mean he doesn't like it, quite the contrary in fact: as I've mentioned before dance in Outworld is considered a sacred art, and such appreciatetion is extended in regards of music as well. At every important celebration there are musicians and singers, in charge of entertaining the guests all evening. In Syzoth's eyes, what you do is very similar if not the same thing exactly, you just use different means.

❥︎ If you have one of those neon DJ consoles, Syzoth is going to be enamored by it. Reptiles have four color receptors in their eyes, one more than humans, so what he sees is far more vivid than what you see.

❥︎ Accessing the club you work in isn't a problem for him, after all he can turn invisible and walk right past the bouncers. He watches you from above, clinging to the ceiling, and sees the bustling sea of people surrounding the small stage you play on, colorful lights hitting the shimmering glitter on your face. It's the most beautiful and happy he ever saw you.

❥︎ 𝑳𝑰𝑼 𝑲𝑨𝑵𝑮

❥︎ I think it's important to mention Liu Kang lived in the '90s (his Friendship in MK11 is literally him dancing under a disco ball), he's a big fan of disco and pop music. And, despite that not exactly being your genre, he grows fond of it very quickly. After all it's your passion, it's only fair he interests himself in it at least a little.

❥︎ He likes to sit in on your recordings, especially if there are lyrics. Despite appreciating your music, he prefers the sound of your voice: he finds it sweet, caressing his ears softly. He could listen to you singing for days on end.

❥︎ Over the eons he's become increasingly good at sneaking around unnoticed, so he often goes to see you when he's not particularly busy and it's one of your quieter evenings (as quiet as a DJ can be). He doesn't want to disturb you so he just stands back, watching you from afar as you enjoy making people dance under the bright lights.

❥︎ 𝑱𝑶𝑯𝑵𝑵𝒀 𝑪𝑨𝑮𝑬

❥︎ As a person who works in cinematic productions, Johnny deals with music producers all the time, so it's suffice to say he's not easily impressed. But, from the first time he heard you, he was hooked to you and your music. He doesn't know what it is, it could be the basses or the echoey vibe it has, but he loves the atmosphere it sets.

❥︎ He hired you on the stop after he saw you perform for the first performance, in his mind there's no other producer that can compete with your work. He has you compose and play the soundtrack for all of his movies, and some of your songs become hits thanks to him! Not to mention he brings you to a lot of his interviews and other occasions, increasing your popularity tremendously.

❥︎ When you're not busy composing, you still perform at one of the most exclusive nightclubs in Hollywood. And you better believe Johnny will attend every time he can! If he has to black out drunk, he'll do it with your music on, slowly growing to become white noise as he passes out.

❥︎ 𝑲𝑬𝑵𝑺𝑯𝑰 𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑨𝑯𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑰

❥︎ He goes to nightclubs regularly, more out of habit than anything. He generally doesn't pay attention to the music that plays, huddled away in his VIP, but it's different when you play. He sees it in the way you move, the way you sing along to your own music: you pour so much passion into your job, he finds it contagious.

❥︎ Kenshi likes your more upbeat music, the fast-paced, bass-boosted kind. He's always been a fan of the more energetic genres, specifically synth-pop. He teaches you some Japanese words and phrases to use as lyrics, after a bit of coaxing he even relents and lets you record him for some of your pieces (much similarly to Lady Gaga's bodyguard in "Government Hooker").

❥︎ He doesn't tell you, but when you perform he takes it upon himself to look out for you. He knows how easily these events can escalate into violence, especially if there's alcohol available. He stands just behind you, watching over you from the shadows. And if nothing happens it's even better: he gets to just bask in the lovely atmosphere you create.

❥︎ 𝑹𝑨𝑰𝑫𝑬𝑵

❥︎ Raiden isn't that big on clubs and nightlife in general, he's a very calm person who enjoys calm places. Still, the only time Kung Lao manages to convince him he gets to see you perform and instantly feels more comfortable in what he otherwise would find to be a suffocating atmosphere.

❥︎ He asks you to play privately for him often, in the comfort of your bedroom or living room. Truthfully, he enjoys looking at you as you play more than listening to the music itself: you look so relaxed even as your hands move so quickly over your console, a sequence that seems to be engraved in your memory from how effortlessly and fluidly you carry it out.

❥︎ While he doesn't attend many of your performances, he uses the lo-fi compilation you composed for him to do basically everything when you're not around, namely cook and meditate. He makes him feel like you're right there at all times, it brings him great comfort.

❥︎ 𝑲𝑼𝑵𝑮 𝑳𝑨𝑶

❥︎ While he can't exactly be described as a party animal, Kung Lao is still much more socially active than Raiden. Before your relationship developed to this point he was your biggest fan, doing his best to attend each and every one of your performances. He even got his t-shirt signed once, and it's the one he insists you wear when you sleep over at his place. Call him cheesy, but for him that was the fateful moment your lives crossed.

❥︎ If you were up to teach him, he'd love to learn how to play your console. It looks so complicated and cool with all its buttons, switches and levers, he has so much fun messing with them! Though he gets the worst jumpscares sometimes, making you laugh until your belly hurts. He almost doesn't mind.

❥︎ Even after you start dating he's still your biggest fan, maybe even more so than before. He's the type of boyfriend to brag about you to all of his friends, he's just so proud of you he can't keep it to himself! He especially enjoys helping you with your make-up before you go up on stage, it's an excuse to smother your face in kisses.

[hecates-corner]

THE VENGEANCE SAGA

🌊 SPOILERS AHEAD 🌊

PLUS, MENTIONS OF S.A.

🔱 NOT SORRY FOR LOVING YOU

Even though Calypso’s actions infuriate me, her actress’ voice (Barbara Wangui) is incredible and so compelling. She sounds like a lotus flower, and just that notion is marvelous, now that I say that. She is the island of the lotus eaters, and I do really like that she isn’t blindly in love with Odysseus.

She can see she hurt him, but she still believes she was in the right. She’s sorry she did all she did, but she wouldn’t take a single moment back. Calypso only admits she’s wrong for “pushing” him. This allusion only shows that she regrets the pain she caused him when she forced him into bed with her, for several years. But does she regret the action?

It’s so well written, an apologist song to make excuses for her. But still, it’s only meant to toy with your emotions. And yet, she doesn’t play the “one song character”, the “tiny plot point”. Jorge gave her pain, and anguish, and loss. He made her seem human, while still holding the godlike apathy and blamelessness.

🔱 DANGEROUS

And onto my favorite song, for the reason alone that it’s a crazy banger with HERMES IN IT! I knew half of this song when it came out, and can lip sync this in my sleep. By the gods, it’s incredible.

Ahem. Right, the analysis. Okay.

Odysseus’ first four of lament in the beginning hurt extra hard when the silence plays out. The crew would have responded… had they lived.

(Anyone else getting nostalgia for last winter from this?? How fast time goes! We have one saga left, and— shoot, right. Ahem ahem.)

And then, the beloved Trickster Lord comes whirling into frame. Dancing. I can just FEEL the light-up floor, the disco ball… you’d think he and Hera would be good friends, huh?

This gives us a little glimpse into Hermes’ lordly self. That he is great with instructions, that he’s almost prophetic with them. He’s not specific, he’s vague, but looking back, you can only go, “OHHHH!” Hermes is a cunning god, and aside from that, he lifts Odysseus’ spirits. He really is Odysseus’ friend.

And then the parallels. To Wouldn’t You Like, to Keep Your Friends Close. Ouch. No, wow. No, scratch that— both.

It makes me wonder if Odysseus “Danger is my middle name” of Ithaca will ever figure out that Athena rooted for him, in the end. Makes me wonder if we’ll hear from Athena again.

🔱 CHARYBDIS

GYATT DAMN. TALK ABOUT INCREDIBLE?!

THIS might be my favorite song, for the typical reasons. You can hear the actions, and when I watched the animatics, it only showed me what I pictured. Perfectly portrayed.

I avoided spoilers for this song, not knowing how good it would be. Damn, am I glad.

Storm parallels, of course. And then, the sheer terror and turn of relief, when suddenly you realize he’s not as close as he thought he was. One last obstacle.

Love the fact that when he sings, “So if you don’t have much to say,” you realize Charybdis won’t be singing. I adored that. This song shows off how smart Odysseus really is.

🔱 GET IN THE WATER

This song is just plain terrifying. It’s scary. It’s cold.

The screaming shakes me to my core. At first, I hadn’t been fully on board (haha) with the choice of Poseidon’s voice actor, and then I took a few more listens to Ruthlessness, and reevaluated that thought. Besides that, he’s quite literally perfect for this song, specifically.

Let me tell you that Steven Rodriguez understood the assignment when he was told to say, “I can’t,” “No,” and “Ruthlessness is … mercy upon … ourselves … DIE!”

Realizing that the line about “gouging [his] son’s eyes” is a cheeky revenge for Polyphemus is incredible. You know what’s funny? Poseidon and Odysseus aren’t so different from each other.

Especially now.

Besides that, oh god, the memories of his loved ones singing into his “final moments” is painful. Thought we’d heard the last of Polites, Jorge? REMEMBER, JORGE?

It’s a double entendre, too. They’re singing to him, telling him to keep going, and yet, they’re telling him that they’re waiting for him, too. Now… some for better, and some for worse.

Will they forgive him the same way he’s forgotten how to do, when he dies?

🔱 SIX HUNDRED STRIKE

Aka, Poseidon discovers the indomitable human spirit.

Let me tell you, hearing the guitar made me gasp. Missed that riff, in all its glory and power, let me tell you. Plus, the wind bag’s theme, too!

This is a boss battle. That’s it. I swear to god, put the instrumental of this banger in Hades by Supergiant.

The screaming in this really made the song. The voice acting. The change of tone. The change of Odysseus’ tone. He’s never been afraid to talk back to gods, has he?

I was only miffed that there was blood on the trident in the animation, and not ichor. But that’s what you get when you’ve been devoted to Greek mythology all of your life, you become an accuracy snob. All in all though, I ADORED that animation. Like… holy shit. Holy FUCKING SHIT!!!

Then, the stabbing and gasping. Poseidon attempting to make him feel bad, second-guess himself, by screaming and calling him a monster.

“Look what you’ve turned me into! Look what we’ve become!” Odysseus KNOWS that he and Poseidon are similar. Fathers willing to defend their honor, and the honor of their sons. However, Poseidon was always defending his own honor, and Odysseus was always protecting the lives of those involved.

And the CHOKING NOISES from POSEIDON??

“After everything you’ve done… how will you sleep at night?”

“Next to my wife.”

AND I GASPED. AND I CHEERED!!!!!!!!!!!

On a much more hilarious note, I saw @justvea18 post a version of this meme as Poseidon. Was giggling my ass off. Go check it out, please.

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die; musical motifs

i have so many thoughts about Nerdy Prudes Must Die and specifically the musical motifs used throughout. so buckle up, i want to talk. (theres a whole breakdown under the cut.)

so, if you didn't know already, Jeff Blim is a musical genius. and in the Hatchetfield universe, theres so many musical motifs that get used in every show. but there's one in particular that i don't know what to call it, but i'm gonna say it's 'the nerds' theme'. it's this one right here;

i've heard some call it Pete's theme, which is wrong. this specific melody is the theme of Pete, Richie, and Ruth's self worth and their inescapable tragedies. when we meet the three friends, it's very obvious that they see themselves at the bottom of the high school food chain. the nerds have accepted that they are worthless and will amount to nothing in school, because that is where society has placed them. it's as simple as Pete's song Cool As I Think I Am. he very literally does not see himself as valuable as the other students. but when that idea shifts from Cool As I Think I Am to Cool As She Thinks I Am, suddenly we have Pete realising his self worth, and the motif shows up;

and right after that, Pete is beat up in a parking lot by Max Jägerman. Pete's own self worth can only go so far when you have people like Max denying it constantly.

so now there's lyrics to this motif, and yes, Pete is the first one to sing it. But that doesn't make it any less Ruth and Richie's.

just like Pete, Richie finds his self worth in the acceptance from others. Once Max is gone and Richie makes friends with the football team, he realises how great it is to be alive. he realises that he deserves to be alive.

when Max comes to kill him, Richie justifies his self worth with the motif that returns for him this time, not Pete;

now they're not his final words, but Richie dies after declaring, "I'm Not A Loser". when he finally gets some self worth, he is murdered and never gets to fulfil that worth.

Ruth's self worth is a little different. she views her worthlessness as unfair. she believes that if she was different, she could be something great. unlike Pete and Richie, Ruth really shows that she has bigger dreams. Ruth wants to be the star of the show. she wishes to be appreciated, and her ungodly horniess can honestly be seen as a metaphor for wanting to be loved. Ruth sings about her self worth in the most Ruth way, with her own number in the BBQ Monologues.

the climax of the song (which Lauren kills, btw) the motif comes back again in the background. This time, it's for Ruth and her self worth;

does the fact that Ruth's version of the motif doesn't include the 'im not a loser' lyrics have to do with Ruth having more belief in herself? that she doesn't need to explain she isn't a loser because she knows she isn't a loser and deserves to have a chance in the spotlight? i sure as hell think so.

but Max kills her immediately after. he stops her from ever living out her big dreams of being a star.

the motif comes back again, obviously, in the reprise of Cool As I Think I Am;

the lyrics change this time around, and Pete sings 'you have to do it', which is him telling Steph that she has to be the one to kill him. despite Pete learning how to have self worth throughout this whole show, he still views himself as expendable. could this be justified with the fact that his two best friends just had their hopes and dreams shattered in death? probably. the point is, at some point during Max's killing spree, the death of his best friends, and the summoning of the Lords in Black, Pete has managed to convince himself that he's worthless again.

now. in the end, it feels like a happy ending due to the nature of The Best of You, but there are still a lot of loose ends to be explored. and on top of all that, the Nerds' motif comes back one last time;

because Grace kept the Black Book and continued to use it, and the Lords in Black are far from fair, i think Pete's torment and tragic narrative is not over by the end of NPMD.

so yeah. Pete, Richie, and Ruth are 'doomed by the narrative', as are most people in Hatchetfield. but these three characters are specifically doomed by their own self worth, and the narrative will never let them truly become their true selves.

and Jeff Blim wrote a banger melody to tell that story.

[ghostinacardboardbox]

@averagecygnet-blog i accidentally deleted your ask about my opinion on the themes in Black Friday 😶 sorry bout that anywhere here’s my thoughts.

So like first of all, like you’ve already said, the critique of consumerism is incredibly heavy handed. You are right. It is not at all subtle. We’ve all heard Made in America. But I really don’t think it was possible to tell this story and have it be subtle; this was always going to be an incredibly overt anti-capitalist message.

Starting with the real life inspirations of the premise, the “Tickle-Me Wiggly” is already a direct reference to “Tickle-Me Elmo,” which was a toy that inspired real life riots ending in at least a handful of injuries and arrests. In the scene right after the Wiggly Jingle, Paul and Emma discuss Cabbage Patch Kids. The Cabbage Patch riots have their own wiki page. The idea of parents literally resorting to violence over toys on Black Friday is something that already happens. So this musical is really just looking at those events, saying, “Wow, capitalism sure makes people behave badly,” and then pushing that concept to its most exaggerated form. The fact that it isn’t subtle is not a bug, it’s a feature.

I also see people bring up this theme almost entirely in relation to the song Made in America rather than connecting it to almost every scene. As if this isn’t a show that doesn’t begin with an advertisement. The opening number is an ad.

(Apparently an effective one, considering how quickly Starkid sells out of the Lord in Black dolls whenever they sell them. People literally watched a whole musical about how the doll represents using the product of capitalism to distract from societal problems and then went and bought the doll. And I would have, too, if I had the money. But I think about the irony.)

I'm not going to go through every scene and the capitalist imagery in it, mostly because I don't actually have anything particularly unique to say about it. Like most of them are fairly self-explanatory and I'm not particularly good at analysis. But do want to specifically bring up the lyrics of "Our Doors Are Open" since they usually get overshadowed by people talking about how much cunt Corey served (it's a lot of cunt. Record amounts of cunt served), because the entire song is both satirical and foreshadowing. Also the bridge of "First of Famine" and the dehumanization of the worker, etc. etc.

I'm also fascinated by the social dynamics in Black Friday. Lex is basically raising her sister due to their mother's neglect; Tom is a single dad; Becky is a domestic abuse survivor; and while Linda's family externally looks very well-put together, she's had multiple affairs, and it's revealed in the Nightmare Time episode "Honey Queen" that she blatantly plays favorites with her kids and has a terrible relationship with her father. Lex is a poor retail worker, Tom and Becky are middle class, and Linda is very wealthy. Black Friday more than any other Starkid show acknowledges the implications of social class, I think. I wonder if part of why a lot of people don't like it is because it's not really escapism the way a lot of other musicals are; it's pretty clear about dealing with real life problems, in a very simplified but obvious way.

I think all the time about the scene where Linda tells Becky, in front of a crowd, that everyone knew her husband was abusive and chose to stay silent. It's such an important moment because it's directly showing the audience just how cruel Linda is. It had been implied before but this was on another level. And it also serves as, again, a pretty basic depiction of how society treats victims. Like, saying that "bystanders will always look away as long as there's plausible deniability to preserve their own comfort" is pretty simple, but that doesn't mean it's a bad point to make, and I think it's made well. The title song also has the lines "I don't want your half-baked sympathy, / When did it save those in need?" which reinforces a similar concept; expressing pity isn't the same as actually taking any kind of action.

And then, of course, there is all the religious imagery. Every time I watch this show I notice more of it, it's everywhere and it's so cool. The show takes place during the holiday season so there are a lot of references to Christmas, specifically. Wiggly keeps saying it will be his birthday, and Linda will "birth" him, so they are tied to Jesus and the Virgin Mary, symbolically (While writing this I had the thought that Wiley possibly counts as the angel Gabriel, then). And I think that using Christmas works because of how commercial Christmas in the US is. If your eldrith god is using capitalist desires as a recruiting tactic, having him bastardize Christmas for his own purposes is a pretty logical step I think. It's also not just that Wiggly is associated with Christmas thematically but also in a sense the iconography of the holiday becomes Wiggly. The garlands on the balcony turning into Wiggly's tentacles is one of the greatest set design pieces I've ever seen. Even apart from the functionality of it as a low-cost set that can go unnoticed until it's needed, it so perfectly evokes the imagery of Wiggly literally corrupting the holiday imagery. The first time I saw that scene I was amazed. I don't feel like checking rn who did the set design for Black Friday but whoever they are, they're fucking incredible. No notes.

And then the music. This is by far my favorite Starkid score overall. I love it so much. Partially because I, known 80's pop-rock enjoyer, am obsessed with a good synthesizer, but also just because of how well the songs suit this particular story. The synths are used most in the songs that show Wiggly's influence (Feast or Famine, Adore Me, Wiggle). Is "non-traditional instruments represent the unknown and otherworldly" the most unique special concept ever? No. But I like it and it sounds cool so like idc.

Jeff Blim is an incredible songwriter who is so talented in so many genres, and I'm always impressed with the songs he writes for Hatchetfield. I think sometimes we don't appreciate enough that all of these songs are by one guy (also Matt Dahan's musical direction for the entire series and the underscoring for both seasons of Nightmare Time that works in the melodies of previously used songs so incredibly). All of the Nightmare Time songs are so different, and all three of the stage shows have a very distinctive sound that really makes sense with the story that's being told. And one of the things Jeff does best in my opinion is the use of repeated melodies and leitmotifs.

Hatchetfield is full of them. There's been a lot of discussion of it in Nerdy Prudes because that show has so many motifs (i.e. the Nightmare Time riff, the "I'm not a loser" melody), and one of them actually comes from Black Friday. In The Summoning, right after Wiggly says "fwendy-wends," the keyboard melody that plays is the same as the part in the song Wiggle that goes "We will build a portal just for [when he comes]" (The last few notes fade directly into the chorus of The Summoning). I'm not the first person to notice this or anything but I thought it was so cool when it happened.

And Wiggle itself is using a different melody: The Carol of the Bells. Again, it ties into the idea of Wiggly completely taking over the idea of the Christmas season. The lyrics of Wiggle also include the lines "He will rise up with joyful noise," and I didn't realize that not everyone would catch that as a religious reference until a friend commented about it but "joyful noise" is a biblical reference (Psalm 100:1). It all ties back to the religious themes.

This last one may not be intentional, but the last song also really makes me think of another Christmas carol? The opening lyrics of What If Tomorrow Comes ("Do you all see what I see, / What I know, / What I see?") really reminds me of the song "Do You All Hear What I Hear?" The melody is different and only vaguely similar so I may be reading too far into it, but I always got the feeling that I'd heard something like that before and wasn't able to place it until last year.

Anyway TLDR Black Friday is heavy handed but I think it actually works better that way, and I like how strong the imagery throughout it is.

[bloodhoundluke]

secrets?

pairing: luke hemmings x f!reader (fc: claudia tihan)

a/n: hello dear people! 🎀 i haven't had the time to write basically anything, so here is another instagram blurb. i love doing these, it's so fun! in this blurb, y/n is a songwriter and she is assigned to have a songwriting trip with 5sos. the fans start to speculate if luke and y/n are dating. later, luke and y/n decide to go on a vacation together. ( Y/S/N stands for your ship name).

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, 5sos and 51,054 others

yourinstagram Song camp and late night hours

View all 1,506 comments

lrhcurls97 Are they dating??? Luke what are you doing there???? Who is this girl????

cakelm1_ OMG GUYS! Michael commented 'So there the blondie still is...' and deleted it right after?? 😳

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, michaelclifford and 39,214 others

yourinstagram Mama loves u (and MISSES U)

View all 949 comments

michaelclifford Still can't get over Moose's reaction to him lol

yourinstagram Omg it was hilarious!

yourbestfriend I can tell he misses you too...he's been cryin' a lot since you left 🥺

yourinstagram Stooop 😭😭

lukehemmings Cute 🐕

lrhcurls97 LUCAS????

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, 5sos and 49,201 others

yourinstagram Thanks for this opportunity fellas. Calum, Michael, Ashton and Luke, I loved working with you guys. You taught me so much. The passion you have for this job is admirable. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Ps. And thanks for the occasional secret selfies you took with my phone.

View all 639 comments

5sos Thank you Y/N for working with us, you are so talented. We were a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes, but you tolerated it well. Love you! ❤️

calumhood Thank you Y/N, you're a literal sunshine!

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, yourbestfriend and 40, 693 others

yourinstagram This vacay got me glowin'

View all 509 comments

5saucymalum LUKE LIKED!!

yourbestfriend ILYYY BUBS 🥺 happiness looks gorgeous on you <3

5sos.updates

Liked by loveroflukey, lrhupdates and 1,894 others

5sos.updates Luke posted this on his Instagram with the text 'Love the view' and deleted it right after. It's speculated that the girl in the picture is the songwriter 5sos worked with a while ago.

View all 194 comments

lukeswildflower ALERT ALERT!! LUKE HAS A FINSTA GUYS

cashtonscherry LUKE???!!

loveroflukey i really hope she makes him happy ❤️

lukehemmings

Liked by yourbestfriend, 5sos and 706, 586 others

lukehemmings I heard vacation photo dumps are cool. The word itself is horrible.

View all 7,983 comments

michaelclifford You're ridiculous

lukehemmings C'mon man

5sosforlyf OMG THEY ARE ON A VACATION TOGETHER?? Y/N HAS TO BE THERE TOO???

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, yourbestfriend and 46, 901 others

yourinstagram Hi lovers 🤍 These past two weeks could be described in just three words: reading, sunbathing and eating. I've read so much that you just might call me the next Shakespeare (not really).

View all 719 comments

sgfg_1049 IF THEY REALLY ARE TOGETHER, LUKE IS A LUCKY MAN...LIKE WOW...i'm definitely a bisexual.

nitswdefender imagine y/n and luke reading together?? 😭😭

yourbestfriend never knew Shakespeare looked that good 🥵

yourinstagram I love youuu 😭💗💗

ashtonirwin Big love! ☀️❤️

lukehemmings

Liked by yourinstagram, 5sos and 689,024 others

lukehemmings Beer and a pretty view.

View all 6,991 comments

calumhood Enjoy the trip man!

teefsos THE TABLE IS SEATED FOR TWO????

5sos.updates

Liked by 5cashton, lrhupdates and 2,103 others

5sos.updates Luke and Y/N were spotted in Rome, Italy earlier today. Apparently they were in Greece last week and then traveled from Spain to Italy.

View all 240 comments

5cashton OMG!!!

vapory_cal I LOVE THEMMMM ❤️

saucymikey FIRST OFFICIAL Y/S/N PIC OH LORD I AM CRYING

yourinstagram

Liked by lukehemmings, ashtonirwin and 48, 183 others

yourinstagram Hi again...🎀

View all 753 comments

lukehemmings Hi 🥰❤️

y/s/n.updates THEY HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING THIS CUTE ASDFGHJKL

glitteryash my Y/S/N heart ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

lukehemmings

Liked by yourbestfriend, 5sos and 789,104 others

lukehemmings Pick the cuter winner.

View all 8,003 comments

yourbestfriend Hmmm lemme think… my bestie

yourinstagram Bby I love u 💘

5sos Definitely not Luke

yourinstagram LMAOOOOOO

lukehemmings HEYYY

a/n: ps. i just wanted to say that i came up with the usernames randomly, so if you identify yourself or something, it wasn’t intentional 🥺 hope u enjoyed this one!

© 2023 bloodhoundluke

[tsams-simps-and-co-corner]

FLIRTY Mechanic Reader making very bad passes/pick-up lines at their crush and doubling down even worse when they succeed/fail! Requesting for:

-Ekleipsis

-Lord Eclipse

-Mono

-Solar

Should’ve know the first request on here would be about the Eclipses lol. But TY SM for requesting!! I don’t really consider AGAB as gender but I see what you meant, anyways

Eclipse x Flirty (but bad at it) Fem!Reader

💥Ekleipsis🌑

•“Can you take me to the hospital? I just broke my leg falling for you.” •*slow turn* •You know, having one of Fazbear’s mechanics be on his side was just fine this very second. •After a few seconds of unbroken eye contact, you went at it again but somehow worse. •He reminds himself to play nice with his cru cover. •“I’m going to check if Lunar is playing in traffic. Don’t follow me.” •You laugh a bit as he walks off. •Why does he have to reciprocate your stupid fucking feelings?

🌟Lord Eclipse💥

•Lord is used to people literally worshiping him. He’s used songs of praise and prayers. He’s used to reverence and revere. •All things the phase, “If you were a Transformer you'd be Optimus Fine” is not. •If any of his servants where nearby, they would have been absolutely horrified by your words and what their consequences would be. •However, he just gave you an unamused look, hoping that it would end it. •Instead you doubled down. •How did it get worse then “Optimus Fine?” •He supposes this is his own fault, as he always let you get away with more then anyone else. •But he grits his teeth and bares your onslaught of terrible pick up lines. •He can’t be too mad at the only person who repeating the same words of worship he’s heard for over a thousand years and treats him like an actual friend.

🔧Solar🔥

•You two were fixing up some stuff around the Plex and trying to make small talk. •Until you hit your coworker with “I'm not so good at holding conversations… is it OK if I hold your hand instead?” •His stunned silence made his fans speeding fans for obvious. •“… That was terrible…” •He looked away, obviously a lil flustered by your stupid pickup line. •You were surprised that it actually worked, when a truly evil idea crossed your mind. •You followed it up with even worse lines to see of they worked. •And they did. •Solar could decide if he wanted to confess to you or shrivel up and die. •“If I hold you hand after this will you stop?” •He said it in a playful and annoyed tone. •Your turn to be flustered. •“… Sure…” •Mission accomplished(…?)

🌙Mono☀️

•“Do you drink a lot of Sprite? Because you look so-da-licious!” •Now where’s Lunar when you need him? •He just wanted have this body checked after coming back from death (again) and you pull this. •He had hoped ignoring it would have stopped, but you just kept going as if you thought he didn’t hear you the first time. •And even worse somehow. •Why do you do this? •Why do you think this will work? •Why do you think he’d be a good partner? He’s not the original or he’s not any better then him. •But as weird as you were, it was nice having someone around. •So he let you have your fun as you checked him. •You didn’t find anything wrong, the one thing out of the ordinary were his fans going on overtime, but he shut down any attempts to look into it

[deezbignutz]

Redacted characters as musical songs because I'm a sucker for musicals :))) + some lyrics cuz why not 🤷‍♀️

Guy abt Honey - "Never Ever Getting Rid of Me" From Waitress. He is a simp and he makes sure they know it. Kinda yandere coded, but womp womp ig. (yandere Guy? 😳😏) "Such a stubborn man, you'll likely never meet another." "Oh, I'm gonna love you so." "I though it was hilarious to call a cat a kind of fish."

Damien abt Hux - "When He Sees Me" From Waitress. Damien just overthinking about going out Hux even before knowing him all that much. "I stick with real things, usually facts and figures. When information's in its place I minimize the guessing game. Guess what? (What?). I don't like guessing games or when I feel things before I know the feelings." "What scares me the most. Is what if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it? What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it? What happens then?." "Or even worse, he could be very nice, have lovely eyes and make me laugh, come out of hiding. What do I do with that?" Also literally the entire song ngl. It's very Damien coded in my opinion.

David & Asher - "For Good" From Wicked. Just wholesome, very platonic love and friendship shared between two friends. (No, I'm not trying to be sarcastic. They're just very good friends) "I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason. Bringing something we must learn." "Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good." :')) "You'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart."

Young David & Asher - "For Forever" From Dear Evan Hansen. Just two friends. On a perfect day. :'))) "All we see is sky forever. We let the world pass forever. Feels like we could go on for forever this way, two friends on a perfect day." "He looks around and says to me 'There's nowhere else I'd rather be.' And I say, 'Me too'." "And I see him come to get me. He's come to get me, and everything's okay." witerally the inversion

Imp!Lasko to Imp!Freelancer - "Meant to be Yours" From Heathers. I don't think I need to explain this one, it just speaks for itself. "You chucked me out like I was trash, for that you should be dead." "You were meant to be mine. I am all that you need. You carved open my heart. Can't just leave me to bleed. Veronica, open the, open the door, please. Veronica, open the door. Veronica, can we not fight anymore, please? Can we not fight-" yada yada yada, you know the audio

Freelancer (?) - "The Wizard And I" From Wicked. It's just them being pumped to go to DAMN and to get to learn more abt their weird and foreign powers. "This weird quirk I've tried to suppress or hide, is a talent?" "No father is not proud of you, no sister acts ashamed." 🙂 "And this gift or this curse I have inside. Maybe at last, I'll know why."

Asher + werewolf bois - "I Feel Pretty" From West Side Story. Broski is on cloud 9 after meeting Baaabe, and the others are just there to witness his delulu. "It's alarming how charming I feel. And so pretty, that I hardly can believe I'm real." "Have you met my good friend, Maria (Asher)? The craziest girl on the block." "I feel dizzy, I feel sunny, I feel fizzy, and funny, and fine. And so pretty, Miss America can just resign!"

Gavin - "Noel's Lament" From Ride the Cyclone. Just a gay little guy dreamin up his gay little fantasies during work because workin in 7-Eleven is too boring. 👍 "Good girls call me 'The Town Bicycle'. Don't knock it 'til you've tried my life of sin." "He said, 'I think I am in love with you' I've heard that lie a million times before." "'My chils, do you have any final words to the Lord you'd like to say?' 'Oui, tell him that, like him, I coose to burn out rather than fade away!'" get into it, queen.

Avior & Starlight - "What Is This Feeling?" From Wicked. This is how I feel like their first reaction to each other when they're in hell went. "For you see, my roommate is: Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe. Blonde!" "What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame. Does it have a name? Yes. Loathing. Unadulterated loathing." "Ev'ry little trait, however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl."

Caelum to Freelancer - "Popular" From Wicked. Hear me out. He doesn't mean it in a bad way, he just wants to help Freelancer out in their new, scary school. "And even in your case, though it's the toughest case I've yet to face. Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed!" "So let's start, 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go..." "Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a sister and advisor. There's nobody wiser!" he's just way too excited to show the magical world to them

Shaw Pack - "Jet Song" From West Side Story. You could also debate that this is also kinda like the Solaire Clan, but the Shaw Pack suits it better cuz of how laidback and playful the song is. "When you're a Jet, if the spit hits the fan, you got brothers around, you're a family man." "When you're a Jet, you're the swingin'est thing. Little boy, you're a man; Little man, you're a king!" mmmm, Solaire Clan vibes "Someone gets in our way, someone don't feel so well!" Quinn? That u?

Any and all immigrants moving to Dahlia - "America" From West Side Story. Two perspective on how livin in Dahlia is like. "Buying on credit is so nice One look at us and they charge twice." ✨racism✨ "Life can be bright in America (Dahlia) If you can fight in America (Dahlia)" "Here you are free and you have pride Long as you stay on your own side."

Marcus - "Cool" From West Side Story. Anxious little technician anxious about being found out and fired. :)))) "Don't get hot, 'cause man, you've got some high times ahead." "Breeze it, buzz it. Easy does it. Turn off the juice boy. Go man, go. But not like a yo-yo schoolboy." idk with this one, it doesn't really have much lyrics anyways :\

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk :))))