#and that it should last for several generations

[idkyetxoxo]

Aemond Targaryen - Broken Promises

Summary - One passionate night together shatters when she must confront her impending betrothal, leading to a tragic betrayal that alters their fates forever. Left with only the haunting memory of their love, Aemond grapples with the consequences of their brief connection.

Pairing - Aemond Targaryen x reader

Warnings - Sexual content (smut!), violence

Word count - 2581

Masterlist for Aemond • House of the Dragon General Masterlist

The day Aemond Targaryen bared his heart to the woman he had hopelessly fallen in love with was also the day their brief love story came to a tragic end.

I sat alone in my chambers, knees pulled tightly to my chest, absentmindedly dipping my fingers into the pool of melted candle wax. The fleeting sting of the burn felt oddly comforting, its warmth a poor distraction from the turmoil within me.

Resting my head on my knees, my eyes wandered toward the window where a fierce storm raged outside, rain hammering against the glass in violent bursts. 

The thunder echoed my inner conflict, my thoughts a chaotic tangle of duty and desire. 

The looming shadow of my upcoming betrothal to the son of Lord Jasper Wylde weighed heavily on me, yet it paled in comparison to the feelings I harboured for Aemond—the one-eyed prince who had unknowingly captured my heart.

A soft creak interrupted my thoughts. The chamber doors opened slowly, the heavy wood groaning as someone entered. 

When I looked up, I gasped—it was the last person I had expected to see tonight.

"Aemond?" I whispered, startled. My fingers brushed the candle beside me, knocking it over. The flame extinguished with a hiss as the wax spilt across the stone floor, plunging the room into near darkness.

He stood in the doorway, drenched to the bone, his black leathers gleaming in the flickering light from the dying hearth. 

His hair clung to his face, the wet strands only making the sharp planes of his features more severe, his single violet eye burning with an intensity I'd never seen before.

"Do not marry him," he breathed, his voice rough with desperation.

I blinked, struggling to comprehend his words. My gaze roamed his figure, taking in the sight of him, as if he had just flown through the storm on Vhagar to reach me, his presence here a force of nature all its own. 

The storm outside seemed to pale in comparison to the tempest in his eye.

Aemond took a step closer, his boots echoing softly against the stone floor as the storm outside raged on. His face, half-shrouded in shadow, was a mask of barely contained emotion. 

I could feel my heart hammering in my chest, my breath catching in my throat as he moved closer, his single eye locked onto mine with an intensity that sent shivers down my spine.

"I cannot stand by and watch you wed another," he said, his voice low and raw with emotion. "I know your duty binds you, but I cannot—will not—pretend any longer."

His words struck me like a lightning bolt. My mind reeled as I processed what he was saying, yet somewhere deep within me, I had known this was coming. 

I had felt it in the way he lingered near me, in the way his gaze lingered a little too long, in the way his touch seemed to burn through the thin fabric of propriety. 

But hearing it out loud—hearing the vulnerability in his voice as he bared his heart to me—was something entirely different.

"Aemond..." I whispered, unsure of what to say, unsure of what I should feel, or what I was allowed to feel.

His hand reached out, trembling slightly as he cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing gently across my skin. His touch was surprisingly warm, despite the cold dampness that clung to him. 

"I have loved you, quietly, endlessly, for so long," he murmured, his eye never leaving mine. "I tried to fight it. I tried to bury it beneath duty, beneath everything else. But when I heard of your betrothal... I couldn't breathe. The thought of you with him—of you becoming his—"

His voice faltered, breaking slightly, and in that moment, all of his carefully constructed walls crumbled.

"I love you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, but filled with so much aching truth that it made my heart lurch. "I've loved you from the moment I first saw you, and I will never stop."

Before I could respond, before I could even process the weight of his confession, he closed the distance between us, his lips crashing against mine with a fierce, desperate hunger. 

The kiss was rough at first, like he was pouring every unspoken word, every repressed feeling into it, but it quickly softened into something gentler, something more tender. 

I gasped against his mouth, my fingers instinctively tangling in his soaked hair as I kissed him back, the world outside falling away, leaving only us and the storm of emotions swirling between us.

He broke the kiss, his forehead resting against mine as he caught his breath, his fingers tracing the line of my jaw. 

"I cannot lose you," he murmured, his breath warm against my lips. "Not like this."

"Aemond," I whispered, my voice trembling, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. "I feel the same... I always have."

At my words, something in him seemed to snap. His lips claimed mine again, this time softer, slower, as if he was savouring the moment, afraid it might slip away if he didn't hold on tightly enough. 

His hands roamed my body, hesitantly at first, but growing more confident as I responded, my own hands exploring the hard planes of his chest.

Before I knew it, we were moving, stumbling backward toward the bed, our kisses growing deeper, more urgent, as if every second that passed only heightened the tension between us. 

When my back hit the edge of the bed, I pulled him down with me, the weight of his body pressing against mine sending a thrill through me that I had never known before.

He pulled away just enough to look into my eyes, his gaze searching. 

"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice hoarse with need but laced with a deep tenderness.

I nodded, my heart racing, but there was no fear—only a burning need to be closer to him, to feel everything we had both been denying for so long. 

"Yes," I whispered. "I'm sure."

Aemond kissed me again, this time slower, more reverent, as if he was savouring every moment. 

His hands moved with care, gently removing the layers of my clothing, and I did the same, my fingers trembling as I unbuckled his belt, peeled away his wet cloak, and let it fall to the floor. 

With each piece of clothing shed, the vulnerability between us grew, until we were both bare, exposed not just physically, but emotionally.

When he finally lowered himself over me, his body warm and solid against mine, it felt like the world had shifted, like everything had fallen into place in that moment. 

His touch was careful, almost worshipful, as his hands caressed my skin, and when he finally entered me, it was slow, gentle, as if he was afraid of hurting me. 

A soft gasp escaped my lips at the sensation, unfamiliar yet achingly beautiful.

He paused, his eye locked on mine, waiting, asking without words if I was alright. I nodded, my fingers gripping his shoulders, urging him on. 

Slowly, he began to move, and the initial discomfort melted into something deeper, something breathtakingly intimate.

Each thrust was a silent confession, a shared secret, as our bodies moved together in perfect harmony. 

His name fell from my lips in a breathless whisper, and he responded with a soft groan, his movements growing more urgent as we lost ourselves in each other.

The storm outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the sound of our mingled breaths, the soft rustling of sheets, and the overwhelming closeness of his body against mine. 

Time lost all meaning as we came together again and again, until finally, the tension built to a crescendo, and we shattered, our release a shared moment of pure, aching bliss.

Aemond collapsed beside me, his breath ragged as he pulled me into his arms, his chest rising and falling rapidly against my back. 

I turned to face him, my head resting against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

In the quiet aftermath, with the storm still raging outside but a new peace settling between us, I knew that nothing would ever be the same. 

This night, this moment, had changed everything.

As we lay together, the only sound was the steady rise and fall of our breaths and the distant rumble of the storm, now reduced to a soft whisper outside the windows. 

Aemond's arm was draped protectively over my waist, his warmth surrounding me like a cocoon. 

I traced the lines of his chest absentmindedly, my mind already drifting to the reality I would have to face in a few hours.

But as the weight of duty settled on my shoulders once more, I felt the inevitable tug of responsibility, like a noose tightening around my neck. 

I knew what needed to be done. I could not avoid it any longer.

With a deep sigh, I slowly disentangled myself from Aemond's embrace, careful not to disturb him. The cool air hit my skin, a sharp contrast to the warmth we had shared. 

I could feel his gaze on me before he even spoke.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his voice still heavy with sleep but laced with a note of concern. He reached out, his fingers brushing against my arm, urging me to stay.

I turned to face him, already half-dressed, my heart aching at the sight of him—his hair tousled, his violet eye clouded with worry, his lips still swollen from our kisses. 

He looked vulnerable, a far cry from the fierce, stoic prince the world knew him to be.

"I have to go," I said softly, pulling on the last of my clothes. The words felt like shards of glass in my throat. "I have to tell him... about the betrothal. About us."

Aemond's expression darkened, and he sat up, his brows drawing together in a storm of emotions. 

"Tell him?" he echoed, his voice suddenly sharper, filled with disbelief and rising panic. "You don't owe him anything. You don't have to—"

"I do," I interrupted gently, though the pain in my chest nearly doubled as I saw the flicker of hurt in his eye. "If I'm to end this, he needs to know. I can't leave him in the dark. It's only right." 

I hesitated, reaching for his hand, squeezing it tightly. "But don't worry... I'll be back."

Aemond's grip tightened around my hand, his desperation now palpable. "Stay," he whispered, his voice low but filled with a quiet, almost pleading intensity. 

"Stay with me. Forget him. We can leave this place—together. We can run, escape this life, and no one will follow. Let me take you away from all of this."

For a fleeting moment, I considered it. Running away with Aemond sounded like a dream.

 A life with him, free of duty, free of the obligations that bound us to others, was all I had ever wanted. But reality was much crueller. There was no escaping our fates. 

And I could not live with myself if I left things unfinished if I left my betrothed without an explanation.

"I can't," I said, my voice barely above a whisper as I leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Aemond's forehead. "But I will come back to you. I promise."

Aemond's eye searched mine, as though he were trying to convince himself of my words, but deep down, I saw the doubt flicker in him. 

He didn't want to believe it, but he nodded slowly, reluctantly releasing my hand.

"I'll wait for you," he murmured, his voice tight with resignation. "Come back to me."

I gave him a sad smile before slipping out of the room, leaving him behind in the dim light of our shared night, unaware that it would be the last time I would ever see him.

I made my way to Jasper Wylde's son, my heart heavy with dread but resolved to set things right. I needed to tell him that the betrothal could not go forward, that my heart belonged to another, even if it would shatter the fragile alliance our families had built. 

I hoped—perhaps foolishly—that he might understand, that he would let me go.

But when I stood before him in his chambers, and the words tumbled from my lips, his reaction was far from what I had imagined.

At first, he was silent, his face an unreadable mask, but I could see the fury simmering just beneath the surface. His eyes narrowed, his hands clenched into fists. 

I took a step back, suddenly aware of the growing tension in the room.

"You love him?" he asked, his voice unnervingly calm, though the venom lacing his words was unmistakable. "The one-eyed prince? You think I will simply stand by and allow you to humiliate me like this? To betray our betrothal for him?"

I opened my mouth to speak, to try and reason with him, but the storm broke before I had a chance. 

In an instant, his rage erupted. He lunged forward, his hand striking me across the face with such force that I stumbled, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth. 

Panic surged through me, but before I could react, he was upon me, his hands around my throat, his face twisted in an unrecognizable fury.

"You think you can leave me?!" he snarled, his grip tightening as I gasped for air. "You think I'll let you walk away from this? You belong to me!"

I clawed at his hands, but his strength was overwhelming. My vision blurred, dark spots clouding the edges of my sight as my body fought for breath. 

Desperation filled me, but it was no use. 

The world around me began to fade, the sound of his hateful words growing distant until, finally, there was nothing but silence.

Aemond waited for hours, pacing back and forth in the darkened chamber where we had shared our first and only night together. His heart raced with anxiety, his mind conjuring up every possible reason for my delay, but always, he held onto hope. 

I would come back to him. I had promised.

But as dawn broke and the first rays of light crept into the room, reality began to settle in. Something was wrong. Aemond's chest tightened with a growing sense of dread. 

He threw on his clothes and stormed out of the room, determined to find me.

It wasn't until later that day that he learned the truth.

When they found my body—lifeless, bruised, and cold—Aemond's world shattered. 

The news spread quickly, whispers of a lover's quarrel turned deadly, but all Aemond could hear was the sound of his own heartbreaking, the weight of his own failure crashing down on him.

I had promised I would come back to him. I never did.

In that moment, standing over my lifeless body, Aemond knew that the love we had shared, however brief, would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

Our love story had been beautiful, but it was never meant to last. 

And now, it had ended in the worst possible way—tragic, unfinished, and forever lost to the cruelty of fate.

In the shadow of my death, Aemond's heart hardened. The gentle, desperate man I had known that night was gone, replaced by a hollow, vengeful prince, consumed by a rage that would never be quenched. 

He swore vengeance on the man who had taken me from him, but even revenge could not bring me back. 

Our love, fleeting and fragile, was now nothing more than a bitter memory, a love story destined to end in heartbreak.

A/n - I am still not over Autumn and Finny from 'if he had been with me' so I gotta make sure everyone suffers <3

Aemond tag list - @darylandbethfanforever9 @lessdepressy

[nattikay]

Correcting the Na'vi in the "Activist Survival Guide" Masterpost

A little over a year ago I made a post correcting some of the fake Na'vi in the Avatar: an Activist Survival Guide book based on some images taken from it that I saw in another post. Since then I've gotten my hands on digital copy of the full book and therefore found even more fake Na'vi terms and sentences, and I decided to make a single massive post to fix them all.

I was originally gonna do it as a regular tumblr post, but then decided to make it a google doc instead for the sake of having more formatting options.

Here's the document, enjoy, fellow nerds.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: A Human’s Oath

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

The Praxis Prefecture was one of the few galactic powers that held on to the notion of kings and queens even as they reached the star faring age of their people. Praxians were largely bipedal species much similar to humans save for their skin being varying shades of crimson and their eyes cold black.

Every few years they would hold a series of games meant to entertain the masses of their realm and dissuade them from thinking about their diminishing lifestyle. At the end of these games was the creme de la crème event known simply as “The Gauntlet” which was the main focus for all who attended.

Comprised of a series of brutal and harrowing challenges, with some even resulting in death should one fail, the reward for passing through “The Gauntlet” and reaching the end alive was the most special prize one could ever dream of; a royal wish granted by the reigning family themselves. A winner could ask for anything should it be within their power, not go against the laws of their realm; nor impact the royal family themselves. That last one was instituted after several winners tried to directly marry into the royal family as their prize.

It had been several long years since “The Gauntlet” had produced a victor and many this year were expecting the same. The bodies quickly began mounting as contestant after contestant failed and died during the trials which only further scared away the previous applicants until only one remained; a lone alien hailing from a species that identified themselves as “Human”.

This seeming paragon proceeded to survive challenge after challenge with nary a scratch on them as they edged ever closer to the end of the deadly encounters. When the final Gorgonuk lay dead, its head caved in from repeated blows from a common rock, the human stood victorious to the cheering throngs who had watched their journey.

A hush fell over the crowd as the royal family descended to the human atop their floating platform and congratulated their victory.

“Name your wish.” The elderly king said.

Without hesitation the human replied “I wish for a place in your honor guard.”

The crowd was silent; perplexed by the insanity of the human’s wish. They could have asked for a fortune so vast it would take three dozen generations to spend, or be given an entire world to rule as a king in their own right, even should they have a darkened heart ask for every first born to swear loyalty to themselves; yet they had instead asked to join the royal family’s personal guard.

No human had ever joined the honor guard as it had been an institutional rule that only Praxians could join. However, this rule was not an official law and as such did not violate the rules of agreement for the wish granting.

“Very well,” the king spoke, “kneel.”

The human dropped to one knee as the king withdrew a slender sword from his cane.

“By the decree of flesh and blood,” the king began as he stabbed the right shoulder of the human and withdrew it dripping with blood, “do I bind you to my family’s service, until the end of time itself. Arise now, and take your rightful place.” The human rose to their feet, blood running from their shoulder wound and gathering as a small puddle at their feet, and nodded thanks to the king as the crowd cheered once more.

The oath had been made and accepted.

 With that climactic ending the games were finished and the realm returned to their day to day lively hoods. The human was inducted into the ranks of the honor guard as was promised and immediately began training.

It was a grueling affair made worse by the general disdain the present honor guard held towards the human. Many had spent their entire lives in service to the royal family and had descended from long family lines whose loyalty had stretched back to the founding of their galactic realm. Yet now here stood a common cur in their eyes, who won their place by sheer luck.

Days of training became weeks, weeks became months, and then finally months became years until finally the human was deemed ready and was given a suit of royal power armor.  Armed with the latest weaponry, armor, and generator systems; the royal power armor turned any individual into a walking tank capable of leveling entire armies by themselves.

Though the human was jubilant at finally donning the armor, times outside the palace were far from pleasant.

The wealth and prosperity of the kingdom had fluctuated greatly and the common citizen now openly questioned the wisdom of their rulers. Some even dared to openly ask if they needed a royal family and if they could not govern themselves better.

Idle tavern talk grew to marches in the streets until one day an angry mob that stretched out to the horizon stood in front of the royal palace and demanded the end of the royal family.

What was worse was that at the head of this violent host stood several royal guards clad in their armor who had defected to the mob’s side. Within the palace the royal family feared for their safety and wept at the notion that this would be the end of their legacy. To their surprise the lone human who had won his place in their guard stepped forward and proclaimed that they alone would handle the crisis and that they had nothing to fear.

Striding outside the palace alone, the human came before the masses and demanded to speak with their former comrades. The gathering slowly parted as the traitor guards stepped forward and faced off with the human.

There were five in total, led by none other than the former leader of the royal guard Dem’va’rok.

“Stand aside human.” Dem proclaimed; their voice booming from the speakers built into their armor. “Your blood is not what we seek this day.”

The human said nothing as they slowly looked across the helms of their once allies.

“Does he speak for you all?” the human asked softly. “You would forsake your oaths of duty to your king?”

One by one the traitors nodded and Dem grinned.

“What is duty compared to needs of our people?” Dem asked.

The human’s hands tightened around their weapons.

“A question you will take to your grave.”

With a swift motion the human lashed out and removed the heads of four of the traitors leaving Dem alone. The clattering of helmets filled with severed heads echoed across the crowd as they watched the purple blood flow from the open neck wounds; the bodies collapsing like puppets whose strings had finally been cut.

Several onlookers from the crowd screamed out in horror and recoiled from the violence. From there it set off a wave of panic that flashed across the mob like wildfire until all of them were scattering across the hills. Dem could hear their screams as they fled in panic, yet his eyes lay focused on the human who stood before him.

Unlike his alien compatriots who had grown lax and slothful with their duties, the human had spent every day training hard to prove their worth and their right to stand amongst them. What had once been a glorious order of wardens and guards of the royal family had become decadent and a mockery of what it had once been.

Dem drew his own sword and prepared to face the human but was surprised when they instead drove their sword into the ground.

“I won’t need that for what comes next.” -----------------------------------

An hour later the lone human returned to the throne room followed by four leaders of the mob.

The royal family watched in horror as each of them carried a severed head of a traitor royal guard with the human carrying the bloody remains of Dem’va’rok’s head. Their gantlets were stained with still fresh blood from where the human had used their bare hands to pull the former master’s head from their body.

“My lord,” the human spoke as they bowed and presented the head of Dem’va’rok “, the fools who cast aside your generosity have been dealt with and shall trouble you no more.”

They motioned to the cowering leaders behind them. “These are some of your subjects that wish to present their grievances to you and seek your wisdom in their resolution.”

Fear compelled all of the former ring leaders to nod their heads rapidly as they held back tears of fear.

“Do not be afraid.” The human counseled them, “For our king is as wise as he is compassionate. He will hear the words of his loyal subjects, but I will suffer none of those who have betrayed such kindness.”

With that the human stepped away and the ring leaders spoke their grievances and to their surprise the king listened to them and did not have them slain on the spot. What had been the day to end a kingdom became the day of a kingdoms evolution into something new.

Not all of the demands were met, but not all were dismissed so easily. New governing bodies were formed under the king to assist the well-being of his citizens while the king remained in complete control. As a result the overall situation of the realm began to slowly lighten and improve as years went by until the loyalty to the royal family was once more shared in every dwelling.

Yet none could say if it was from true love of the king, or from the fear the piercing gaze of the new leader of the honor guard instilled upon all that looked upon them.

[cucuxumusu]

For @sommerwind, hope you enjoy.

The injury is a bad one. Jason knows, Dick knows, the fucking Batman knows! It was a stupid mistake and they should have seen it coming, but when Jason asks, Dicks refuses to be taken to the Batcave where he could recive proper treatment. Jason argues about it, but he kind of understands. What they had been doing wasn’t exactly bat-approved, and spending half an hour hearing Bruce scream at them for their stupidity is not a good incentive to go home. 

So Jason takes Dick to one of his safe houses instead. 

The place is near but one of the most shabby places he has. It has the most basic necessities: an electric stove to warm food, some old mattress on the floor, and a little shower in the next room that struggles way too hard to produce warm water. There are a couple of boxes near a wall with a couple of clothes changes, and a couple of guns hidden under the floorboards with some ammunition. A survival place more than a comfortable one.

Jason settles Dick on the matres once they sneak inside, and then there is a chaotic moment of panic as they assess the damage done to Dick’s leg. A thigh wound, pretty close to the femoral artery and bleeding harshly, but also manageable as it doesn’t seem to have reached the bone. Dick should be fine with a few stitches. Probably. 

Jason brings the first aid kit to the mattress from the bath and waits for Dick to undress, but the older bird just keeps flinching in pain, and his bloodied hands are slippery on the zipper and the tight suit. 

They decide Jason needs to help him, and Jason tries to be professional. Even if slowly undressing Dick is one of his biggest fantasies and one of the best moments in his life, he can be professional. Even if having him in a bed, under him, vulnerable and trusting is doing things for him, he can be professional. 

He peels the skin-tight suit out of Dick as if he is unwrapping a Christmas present. His hands keep gripping and revealing warm skin generous muscles, and his ears keep hearing choked and pained breaths as he goes. He lets Dick lean on him, fingers gripping his shoulders as Jason lowers the suit down his hips and his tights finally revealing the injury. There is blood and gore on Dick’s legs, the whole thing looking horrible and painful, and the sight finally seems enough to distract him from his exploration of the other’s almost naked body under him. 

He lets the Nightwing suit fall to the floor at their side and gets to work with the practice of someone who has done this several times. 

He inspects the wound checking for poison or any debris that might hurt his bird, and then proceeds to clean it as carefully as he can. The stitches are the hardest part, with Dick panting over him, and his hands tightening in his biceps as Jason digs through his skin closing the injury as quickly as he can. 

Dick never screams or complains about the process. He always hides away the ugliness and hurt inside him not letting anyone see in how much pain he is. As a man who pours his anger and feelings out to the world in cathartic ways, it has always pissed Jason. He hates being unable to comfort him, it feels wrong seeing Dick endure the pain as if it's normal for him.

Finally, after silent agonizing minutes in which Jason’s urge to kill Bruce resurfaces, the work is done. Jason wraps a last bandage over the injury, and he can feel Dick sigh in relief in the middle of the little hellhole that is the safe house. Dick lets go of his biceps and lowers himself to the bed looking pale and sick, done with everything, and Jason makes the mistake of looking at him once more. 

His mind again stops altogether at the sight of all that naked caramel skin spread in front of him. At the way Dick’s muscles ripple as he breathes heavy and pained, at his pink perked nipples that seem to be calling his name, or at the sweat covering his frame and making his body glisten under the poor light of the room as if he is a hallucination Jason is having once more. 

It will be so easy to reach a hand out and close the distance between them, trace his hips, and touch that skin. Dick is also observing him too now, blue eyes assessing him with an emotion in them none of them acknowledge. The tension that is always between them sparkles to life, and the feeling in the room changes to something different. Dick doesn't shy away from Jason’s scrutiny of his body, he says nothing as they stare for longer than they should. He instead licks his panting lips as if waiting for Jason to do something, cross the line. 

But Jason can’t. 

Not with Dick. Dick is a hero, his hero, and he deserves much more than Jason. Jason will be way too possessive and rough for the free-spirited vigilante. He will hurt him, and then he won’t be able to forgive himself. Jason is too broken and wrong to go for whatever is in Dick's eyes. 

So resisting every urge he has to lean down, climb over Dick's body and finally ease that tension, Jason pulls back, goes to check the stove, and begins making dinner.

[mumms-the-word]

Yet another Veilguard update with the usual good, the bad, the ugly, and the me freaking out about minor references and callbacks haha

This one is very long sorry

So since the last update I have done as much side content as possible before heading to the Hossberg Wetlands and later Weisshaupt (which I just completed last night) which included, briefly, unlocking all of the solas regrets murals

And uh WOW was that whole deep dive a doozy. I definitely should have spaced out the murals over time rather than movie-marathoned them back to back. But the things I learned about Solas…it’s insanity

In a good way

In a really horrifying way

I loved that our theories about Solas being a spirit of Wisdom first were confirmed, and I lost my mind over the fact that the first elves were spirits who gained physical bodies by taking Titan blood (aka lyrium). And the fact that Solas CREATED THE BLIGHT by essentially making the Titans Tranquil?? And that’s why Dwarves don’t dream????

Losing my mind. Solas what have you DONE.

I still ahev to process it all haha but I do have a few thoughts

So far, I wish there was more engagement with these elements and the Chant of Light. The companions react and say that these reveals basically dismantle Andrastianism but the Chant has several allegorical parallels to what, apparently, really happened. The Maker’s first children were spirits, and all that…so I kind of wish the Chantry had a bigger presence in the game with more reactivity

But that’s a post for another day. For now, I reloaded back to only 3 murals unlocked so the team only knows the story up to Solas creating the Veil. I’ll rewatch the others later.

I got worried about being locked out of stuff so I went ahead and did as much side content as I could with a couple of exceptions. Turns out, I probably didn’t need to do that and it would have made more sense narratively if I hadn’t. More on that in a minute

The Siege of Weisshaupt mission was SO GOOD!! Like…the main missions are really where this game shines, I think. I have gripes with some of the companion conversations, but in the actual story missions, the action, the intensity, all of it is so good. And I thought Ghilan’nain turning her archdemon into a many-headed hydra creature was *chefs kiss* so cool. I love fighting big/unique stuff like that!

All that said the follow up scene with the team at the table leaves…a lot to be desired

Listen, DA games pride themselves on bringing together a team of companions that players adore and fall in love with. Naturally we enjoy helping out our companions because we like them. We don’t have to be told to help them because we just generally do that…and if we don’t then, rip, suffer the consequences

So I got a bit annoyed when the scene suddenly turned to a very overt “fix our problems” narrative

I don’t know, that feels so…forced to me. Varric literally tells me I have to solve everyone’s problems. Which is like…I was going to! Because they’re my friends! But being straight up told like “hey you have to solve everyone’s problems and stop their distractions or this team isn’t going to function” is like…I’m sorry are we adults or aren’t we? Why am I being told to babysit the team? Can you guys not pursue these distractions on your own rather than wait for me to give you permission? Did we all forget that two gods are out there rampaging? That they’re strong enough to destroy a fortress that stood against the blight and various conflicts for over 900 years? That they haven’t stopped and show no signs of stopping anytime soon?

But no, by all means, tell me in very obvious terms that my job is now to reconcile all your differences before I face the gods again. That doesn’t feel very handed at all.

Let me be clear. I love to help my companion. I love the idea that you build a team that works well because you have shaped them via your leadership skills. I love the idea that your team works well because you have invested in them. That’s really the heart of any DA game—gather your team, earn their loyalty, and see how well the friends you’ve made along the way assist you in the big battles to come.

But…that scene around the kitchen table could have been so much better, so much more nuanced, and far less “Solve their problems.”

To me, that scene should have been everyone fighting, calling out everyone’s distractions and mistakes, and essentially devolving into outright arguments over the table until Rook yells at everyone to shut up. Everyone is mad, everyone is upset. And then maybe the companions are like “sorry Rook, listen, I have a lot on my mind. I’m still going to help with the Big Problem but I’m also going to pursue this Other Thing whether you like it or not.” No suggestion that it’s now your problem to solve, but a heavy hint that it might get done more quickly if you help (which also gives you room to be an ass and not help). In this scenario, everyone ends up being very disgruntled with you, but you still have your hint that you need to pursue companion questlines if you want to see their cool abilities or special items or get them to be a Hero of the Veilguard or whatever���but that’s just my opinion

Basically I wanted subtly and tension. So much more tension.

What we got instead was a couple of annoyed comments and then Emmrich being like “oh dear we’re all distracted by the things that bother us” and everyone offering up distractions that, yes, need to be resolved…but it’s very easy to be like “hey bud the Hand of Glory and the Nadas Dirthalen can wait until the gods aren’t threatening to destroy the world I think.”

It’s not the worst scene in the world, but it could have been reframed better. Either frame it as “Sorry Rook but none of these factions trust you enough to aid you in the fight, you have to prove yourself to them” (and loop in the companion questlines that way) or show your team literally unraveling because they can’t get along or agree with you—now you see the evidence of what you need to fix, and nobody has to outright tell you to “solve everyone’s distractions.” It’s just implied. Because you saw them fighting. A lot.

Like duh I knew I’d have to resolve everyone’s problems if I want them to like me or stick around! That’s just what I’ve come to expect from RPG games like this. It’s an expectation of the genre. But I don’t want to be told that’s my job now. If anything it triggers my contrarian nature and now I want to see what bad ending I get when I don’t listen to the game’s extremely heavy push for me to deal with everyone’s issues

I won’t, but I’m tempted

I just…wanted it to be better. I want see everyone bitching at each other until everyone leaves in a huff and Rook just sits at the table, head in their hands like “oh my god everyone hates me and they hate each other and we’re going to die if everyone can’t get their shit together”

Then maybe Varric sits down next to them and goes, “Hey kid, did I ever tell you about the time Hawke tried to convince a Rivaini pirate, a weird abomination, a Dalish blood mage, a stiff-necked captain of the guard, a broody elf who glowed in the dark, and a few other friends besides to all agree to fight as a team to stop a qunari invasion in Kirkwall? It worked, more or less. By the end of the night, everyone had worked together enough to end up with one dead Arishok and an entire city’s gratitude.”

Maybe Rook looks up and says, “And how’d they manage that little miracle? Without everyone trying to kill each other in the process.”

And maybe Varric smiles and shrugs. “They had their differences, trust me. Half the time you couldn’t put two of them in a room together without a fight breaking out. But they all believed in one thing. They believed in Hawke.”

Then maybe there’s a pause, as he lets Rook consider that for a moment, before he stands up and says, “It’s a good bedtime story, in any case. I’ll let you sleep on it.”

Sigh. It just would have been cool…

Now in all fairness the scene felt even clunkier because I had actively been doing side quests and helping out my friends so it was like…it felt weird to have this implication that I’m not already helping them. It makes me think I shouldn’t do any of their side quests until after the Siege of Weisshaupt but who knows

I keep pendulum swinging back and forth between moments of brilliance and moments that leave me baffled and wondering who made some of these narrative/writing calls. I don’t hate the game by any stretch of the imagination. Like I said the Siege of Weisshaupt was amazing! And I loved the callbacks to precious games! You should have seen me live reacting and screaming about codexes in the Weisshaupt library haha But it’s like whiplash when something that good is followed up by a scene that feels excessively more hamfisted in comparison.

Anyway I am very busy this weekend and dunno when I’ll get to write another update soooo if you’re following for more, hope to give you more updates in the near-ish future!

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

by Dr. Judy Stone

Last June, an obscure federal advisory committee—the Healthcare Infection Control Advisory Committee to the Centers for Disease Control—first shocked many in the public health community by suggesting that the CDC could loosen infection control practices in hospitals and healthcare settings. Their most controversial recommendation was that surgical masks (aka "baggy blues") could generally be substituted for the more protective N95 respirators. This was despite their own data showing that respirators provide superior protection.

Last fall, the CDC advisory committee sent their formal recommendations for revising infection control in healthcare facilities to the CDC director. During the public comment period, there was considerable pushback from patients and families. Concerns centered around immunocompromised people fearing to seek care because staff refused to mask, people acquiring infections in the hospital, and the issue of masking versus the use of N95 respirators. The CDC did not accept the HICPAC committee's recommendations and sent them back to the committee for revision and comment on several questions relating to transmission and protection.

Months later, the HICPAC met again, but they have not yet resolved the questions or concerns. Here are the issues raised by the CDC.

Are Surgical Masks Enough For Bugs Spread By Air? The first question was whether surgical masks or NIOSH-approved N95 [or higher-level] respirators should be used for pathogens that spread by the air.

Erica Shenoy, MD, PhD, Chief of Infection Control at Mass General Brigham, and a prominent committee voice who has published against masking in healthcare settings, argued that wearing an N95 respirator for initial patient contact was excessive. She told the committee that her practice is to go into a patient's room (without a respirator), ask a few questions, and then determine the level of protection needed. I understand that since I sometimes did the same—but that was long ago, and when I suspected my exposure would be minimal during that brief period.

Times have changed. We now are still in the midst of a COVID-19 pandemic—despite pronouncements to the contrary—with a virus that we know has airborne transmission. Further, long Covid develops in at least 10% of those infected and often has life-changing consequences. These include autoimmune diseases, dysautonomia (autonomic dysfunction causing fainting, pulse and blood pressure swings, and more), and chronic disabilities. Since we know COVID is a disease transmitted through the air, wearing an N95 respirator for the initial patient encounter and then downgrading the precautions when COVID has been ruled out makes sense.

OSHA and NIOSH clearly state that surgical masks provide inadequate protection. OSHA says, "Surgical masks are not designed or certified to prevent the inhalation of small airborne contaminants." NIOSH concurs, concluding a surgical mask "is not considered respiratory protection." Yet HICPAC, with one exception, concluded that they were equivalent.

Wearing an N95 respirator will become even more critical as bird flu becomes more widespread, particularly if/when it mutates to be readily spread person-to-person. Highly pathogenic avian influenza H5N1 can be spread by direct contact with animals or contaminated surfaces, by ingesting milk, or by inhalation. Some data says that airborne transmission of HPAI H5N1 is not very efficient. A significant concern is that influenza viruses mutate readily and might acquire mutations that enhance their ability for airborne transmission. The first case of the bird flu with "no immediate known animal exposure" was in Missouri in September. There is now a critically ill teen with respiratory failure from avian flu in British Columbia, Canada.

Should Healthcare Workers Be Allowed To Wear N95 Masks? Question 2 related to the classification of pathogens and when different types of precautions would apply. Influenza is classified as requiring "standard" and droplet precautions in the 2007 guidelines, which are under revision now. This would mean a surgical mask would be adequate.

There was considerable discussion about whether a health care worker (HCW) should have the flexibility and right to decide what level of respiratory protection they felt necessary, based on their own health and that of family members they might be exposing to disease.

In the non-binding vote, almost all members supported the idea that HCWs should not be given that voluntary right.

Peg Seminario, the director of occupational safety and health for the AFL-CIO from 1990 to 2019, told me employers believe they know best and that workers "don't really know when they should be wearing this respiratory protection. And also, that it upsets patients." Seminario also said, "I think the decision-making reflects the continued domination of the infectious disease professionals who represent healthcare hospital interests," who already feel regulations are too burdensome.

“The reasons they gave were, frankly, very paternalistic,” is how Lisa Baum, an Occupational Health and Safety Specialist with the New York State Nurses Association, described this decision-making process. “They know what's needed in terms of protection, and if they determine that a respirator isn't needed, then a respirator isn't needed, period,” she added.

The HICPAC Membership Doesn’t Meet Its Own Requirements The World Health Network has filed a supplementary complaint to the Health and Human Services Inspector General because their committee is supposed to have fourteen members with diverse backgrounds, but they don't. Experts in airborne transmission are still not voting members. Also, many of the members "are from management positions in hospitals that benefit financially from treating healthcare-associated infections (HAIs)" with "perverse financial incentives that prioritize treatment over prevention." The Isolation Precautions Guideline Workgroup "operates in secrecy, in violation of FACA's requirements for transparency and public involvement."

The fourth question concerns "source control," or whether HCWs, patients, and visitors should mask in hospitals. The HICPAC—again with one dissention—voted that this should be left to local decision-making.

When And Where Can Infected Healthcare Workers Return To Work? Finally, there was discussion in the Infection Control in Healthcare Personnel Working Group as to when HCWs recovering from flu or Covid could return to work. If they're working with people who are at high risk, immunocompromised, other reasons, you know, should there be special places, conditions, where they should not be assigned?

The committee recommended only a 3-day work restriction from the onset of symptoms, even if the HCW is still symptomatic, if they are improved and afebrile—this, despite abundant data that many people shed SARS-CoV2 virus for ten days or more. The HCW should wear a surgical mask for 7 days from onset. There were also no recommendations to restrict ill HCWs from caring for high-risk or immunocompromised patients because "it is not feasible."

Baum was the sole dissenting vote on almost all of these questions. Notably, she was also the only committee member who was masked during the meeting. Baum was particularly disturbed by this decision, as “many employers pressure healthcare workers to come back to work after the number of days that the CDC lists workers should be excluded from work, even if the worker is still feeling too ill to work.”

Opposition To HICPAC Recommendations Before vaccinations, the mortality of patients hospitalized with COVID-19 was close to 30%. The mortality rate of hospital-acquired Covid has decreased with multiple vaccinations, but is still 10% or higher. This is still higher than community-acquired infection. So it makes sense that hospitals should do what they can to prevent transmission within the hospital so prevent these needless and avoidable deaths.

As I noted previously, "More than 900 experts in infectious disease, public health, industrial hygiene, aerosol science and ventilation engineering signed a letter to Mandy Cohen, M.D., the new CDC director, explaining how the new draft guidelines weaken protections for healthcare workers. They state, "Surgical masks cannot be recommended to protect health care personnel against inhalation of infectious aerosols."

Furthermore, as with earlier HICPAC meetings, numerous public comments protested the committee's decision. Many patients are afraid to seek care now, knowing that they risk becoming infected in the hospital or doctor’s office. One commenter, Amanda Finley Diggs (@rubyslippahs) is a Covid long-hauler, ardent masking advocate, and defender of vulnerable patients. She urged HICPAC, “Please step up and fulfill the public mandate in your very name: the Centers for Disease Control **and Prevention.**”

Baum said, “There are still those on HICPAC who refuse to accept that this is happening on a widespread basis, that there is exposure and infection occurring in the healthcare environment.” Neither professional nor public concerns appears to have any impact on HICPAC’s decision-making process.

The HICPAC also seem oblivious that NIH has resumed requiring masking in all patient care areas and testing for SARS-CoV-2, Influenza A, Influenza B, and Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV) on inpatients. Sonoma County also requires masking in all hospitals. But #HICPAC thinks masks are unnecessary.

Despite her frustrations, Baum stressed, “We actually strongly support the CDC.” She added, “It is our job to push them to protect patients and staff better and to follow the science better, but we want them empowered to do so.”

Note: You can still submit comments until November 22, 2024 Email HICPAC@cdc.gov if you want to advocate for isolation of infectious staff + ASHRAE 241 indoor air standard + N95s in healthcare.

Note: Dr. Shenoy and the CDC/HICPAC have not yet responded to a request for comment.

[canmom]

you must have this many dead friends to ride

it's TDOR (well, it was). unable to sleep, i read through all the deaths reported in the 2022-23 trans murder report (a year out of date, I don't think they've released this year's one yet.)

I'm not quite sure why i felt i should do this. if it's a gesture for the victims... well, if someone murders me one day, i don't think it will mean much one way or another if someone in faraway country reads a brief two sentence report that a 30-35 year old trans woman with 'other' occupation was found tied up with burn marks or something. nevertheless, it is the time of year for this ritual.

most of the deaths are reported in central and south american countries, largely due to reporting bias, though there's more reporting now from countries like India and Pakistan - almost nothing from east asia though, probably due to language barriers. it's hard to draw much of a conclusion about anything since many of the reports don't say much, the stats are subject to extreme sampling bias, etc etc. but the general types of story are: "her partner murdered her", "she was killed by gunmen on the street/in her house", "there was an argument and the other person decided to kill her over it", "the mob killed her for extortion reasons", 'her body was found in some awful condition", "the cops killed her" (including Tortugita, who they shot 57 times at the 'cop city' protest), and of course good old "explicitly anti trans hate crime" (which covers Brianna Ghey, the one death from my country, and several from the US).

my murdered sisters are in most cases very young. younger than me.

the statistician in my brain wants me to acknowledge that i don't know the degree that trans women are specifically subject to murder for being trans women or by abusive partners etc, and how much it's "just" about being poor and racialised and living in a place where paramilitaries, gangs etc routinely murder people. sex work is a dangerous line of work for many reasons, but it's also going to be the case that a lot of us are sex workers so even if we were all equally likely to be murdered, a huge number of the dead would be sex workers, just as many of them were beauticians.

but honestly, even bearing that in mind, a whole lot of sex workers were killed.

there is something particularly ghoulish in talking so drily about death statistics; the website uses the painful phrase 'concerning trend' in regards to the demographics of people killed (overwhelmingly trans women, sex workers and not white), as if a perfectly proportional series of murders would be less 'concerning' somehow, but what exactly are you supposed to say? it is of course a window into who a society is comfortable getting rid of, but we already knew that. there's a reason that a sex worker is the go-to plot-inciting murder victim in fiction.

collating death reports like this... in part it is done as a matter of political advocacy, saying 'look, we are being murdered by the hundreds [multiplied by some nebulous but significant underreporting factor]'. but of course, if that's our goal, we are holding our deaths up against, for example, the tens of, likely hundreds of thousands of people killed by violence in Gaza, Sudan and Ukraine in the last year - events which have already divided the world into people who can't stop it, and people who can but don't care to. and what do we want done about it? to beg the state to come down and apply its monopoly on violence more stringently? often the police are the ones killing trans women.

so what remains is ritual. we light candles, and read out the names of strangers who nevertheless have this one important thing in common with us, the ~global community~ of trannies and such - this was a person who refused to take the awful role they were given, asserted their own will to change their body, managed to live a life at least partly on their own terms, and then got killed over it.

but we don't have time to tell the life story, no time to describe the mess of relationships and aspirations that drive a life; there is no time to imagine what feelings we shared, what they enjoyed, what stories we might have laughed about if we'd known each other...

we have time for 'found dead in a car'.

if that.

in my country, we face a very different threat distribution - i don't really expect anyone i know to get murdered (though it's not impossible, there are people I'm close to who have been viciously attacked and there was little to do to stop the attacker coming back), but I'm sure Fall won't be the last of my friends to die by suicide. if we are 'fighting like hell for the living', our project here is more about trying to build lives that are worth living for, and weathering whatever fashy deluge is coming down the political pipes. what does fighting like hell even mean here? i think i used to think i knew.

but this night at least, I'm remembering my friend Fall, who we lost back in 2022. I made this page about her, and the feelings that came up from her death, with writing from friends who knew her better than me. I'd be grateful if you read it and helped some part of her memory live on. (apparently they wrote a little memorial for her in the recent translation of Shōnen Note: Boy Soprano which she worked on.)

I never got to ask what Fall thought of all these TDoR rituals - it's one of many things I didn't get to talk to her about and I bet she'd give me something unexpected to think about, formed some ingenious connection. or maybe she didn't think much of it! but it's as good a reason to think of her as any. she was awesome, she should have been given a much better hand by this world, and it is more shit for not having her in it.

I bet the friends of any of the 321 people on that list, and everyone on this year's list, would be able to say something pretty similar.

entropy always gets its way. but I'll hold onto what I can of her, my fragment of her ghost, for as long as we can. i guess that's the point of the ritual. hold onto our ghosts. tell each other that, one day, they'll stop accumulating so fast.

[covington-shenanigans]

I am also a hand tool woodworker (albeit an inexperienced amateur one) and I second everything @transgalactic-woodworker said above!

there's a saying in woodworking: "it's cheaper to buy than to build." mass industrial production of furniture is always going to produce a less inexpensive end product than me in my garage wood shop, even when I'm using bullshit construction lumber from the big box store, (which I do for most of my projects because I am not made of money). I'm glad the cheap sheet goods exist -- I made a cabinet with a plywood back, which saved me some bucks -- although seeing an entire piece of furniture made of MDF makes my soul want to leave my body, especially when it's super expensive like OP pointed out.

but yes, modern furniture sucks, and in strictly construction terms it is absolutely the joinery. proper furniture joinery is beautiful and sturdy and lasts centuries, but even with power tools it is not fast, especially compared to slamming shit together with cheap metal parts.

I started doing woodworking because I was tired of cheap shitty furniture that was going to break in a few years. I am now learning to make my own, slightly more expensive shitty furniture that will (and this is the crucial difference) last my lifetime because it's made out of solid wood with proper joinery.

(I have the financial stability and space to invest in some tools and supplies, and I very much recognize that not everyone has that, but there are ways to build basic furniture that doesn't require thousands of bucks of tools or an entire room dedicated to it. I'd start with Rex Krueger on youtube if you want to get an idea of what you can do with basic tools. if there's a tool library in your area you might be able to borrow those tools rather than buy them, especially if you just want to build one or two things and not have to buy a bunch of stuff.)

These things are made of garbage and glue and they want to charge this much for them??? Seriously considering just buying some real wood and making it myself. We tolerate this chipboard crap BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE INCREDIBLY AFFORDABLE.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[batsplat]

omgg i started following you because i loved your motogp posts and i did not expect to get emotionally attacked about my tennis fave like this. you've lit expressed everything ive felt abt tennis lately like daniil's return game has developed so well these last few years if only his shoulders were still functional he wld be soo unstoppable (i remember like last 2 year-ish when his serve suddenly went to shit and i was like wtf is going on?? but then it turned out his shoulders don' work anymore😭😭😭) ngl i did not expect him to make it to the ao finals this yr at all but then he did and i started getting hope again and then well uk what happened next... (i actually went to bed when he was up 2 sets because i alrdy had premonitions for what was abt to happen and i didnt need that experience twice 😭) anyways i finally quit watching the men's tour reguarly middle of this yr-ish because mostly because my biggest opp started winning big tournanments/slams consistently and i cld not take it anymore (part of why i got into motogp ig, i needed a new thing to fill in the hole)

also ur thing being having to be the chosen one in men's tennis is soo true but i wld argue it cld even be broadened down to being in the chosen generation... every 90s born player doomed to be seen as the weak links of the sport, both forever destined to be surpassed by those who came before and those who came after...

anyways mostly i also just wanted to thank you for writing all your super information motogp posts!! not only is ur writing style super informative/consistent, all the topics u've written abt feel super unique like i doubt i wld ever randomly stumble elsewhere. i'm not that good w/ words so idk how to fully express my appreciation, but your posts are the main reason i started delving into more past motogp races and interviews instead of just sticking to current ones which has 1000% made my experience of becoming a motogp fan more enjoyable!

🥺🥺 such a nice ask from a fellow sufferer... I actually tried to sleep in for the ao final and managed for like. maybe a set. it's so funny to have a whole fanbase quite literally begging their player not to go up two sets to love, zero hindsight needed I was HORRIFIED by that second set going his way... especially since I noticed the balance of play in the actual games had changed and meddy wasn't winning any return points anymore, just relying on an earlier break to seal that set iirc. and then I started going for increasingly desperate tactics to distract myself when the inevitable happened in the next three sets (including rewatching marc marquez: all in, it was rough man, like I get what you're saying about getting into motogp to escape because generally I too have fled to this sport whenever tennis has most been pissing me off)

and obviously that final was very trauma flashbacks to my definitive sports trauma, a match I'm STILL not over and at this rate have accepted I'll be miserable about until the day I die. but this time I couldn't even BLAME him because it was an insane effort to even get to the final, he'd done such a fantastic job given his tennis really wasn't there at the start of the tournament, he just kept figuring out ways to win... the hurkacz match where he basically ran out of fuel in the fourth, that crazy semifinal where he just refused to know when he was beaten, and then taking two sets off sinner in that final!! the resilience and the grit but also the tactical acumen, like my god when he blindsided hurkacz by radically altering his return position RIGHT AFTER doing that post-match back-and-forth with courier where he explained in detail why he favoured his regular return position. the cleverness and the bravery he showed in clutch points in that semi, something that zverev is completely incapable of (monte carlo 2023 still lives rent free lol), like the psychology of that match slapped. how he took it so sinner, completely caught him off guard by mixing up his game, and it was WORKING. really managed to change the dynamic of that match up... he lost that match first and foremost in his legs. just so cruel after everything. we had the guy who easily disposed of an admittedly rubbish djokovic in the semis on the ropes. and it still. was. not. fucking. enough. one of the best slam final runs in recent memory and it still wasn't enough!! he's already far outperformed what he SHOULD have been capable of in his career and somehow he keeps developing a game style which should have plateaued ages ago and I have so much respect for the work him and gilles have done post-2022... and he really should have more to show for it

anyway yeah I remember the serve decline in 2022, back when I was really in the weeds with analysing meddy's game. and that was also the year it felt like his legs completely deserted him. his deciding set record that year was horrific after ao, very rarely even got it that far win or lose and when he did so almost always lost (karatsev was cramping, let's not talk about the other third set win)

scorelines from the tour finals genuine miracle i did not throw myself into the sea

only one four set match post-ao and he also lost that, incidentally. and obviously that was partly because his brain was fucked, BUT I also wondered whether it was the aftereffects of the hernia operation that year affecting both the physicality and the serve. and I can't remember if he confirmed that anywhere but the theory's certainly cottoned on to help explain the serve decline, even if his endurance obviously has massively improved again. and then add in the shoulder... it's so brutal because it used to be such a key pillar to his game, like the whole magic was tied together by being able to whizz through his own service games while making his opponent's return games hellish

and like,, the thing I really admire about him is that there was a period in 2022 where it did feel like he'd been 'figured out', like there was increasingly a game plan that could be used against him. serve and volley, etc etc. but to some extent, he's managed to resist just being written off when facing elite competition BECAUSE he keeps coming up with ways to throw his opponents off-balance. what he's been doing this year, for all that it hasn't gotten him great results, has been so much fun to watch - really reminded me of his summer/autumn 2019 stretch where he'd played so much he should've constantly been at risk of keeling over of exhaustion but adapted to it by just becoming a completely different player. wawrinka uso 2019 match still goes crazyyyy, one of his most underrated performances. serve and volley in the uso 2019 final I wanna run to u. it's such a wonderfully unique game that's frankensteining all these unique parts together that all sort of shouldn't work but all sort of do, harnessed and constantly reinvented by (let's face it) the smartest top player currently in the game. and it really does piss me off that he hasn't been rewarded more. he's been the best of the rest since 2019, he's absolutely maximised his game for someone who doesn't have that stratospheric big three-level of talent and I WANT it to actually matter. but men's tennis will always see talent triumphing over guile I fear, and meddy has consistently been a victim of poor timing

and yeah, the generational aspect is true, where the entire ''''''''nextgen''''''''' cohort has essentially been doomed - partly because they just weren't good enough, but partly because they arrived at just the right time window to still be thoroughly traumatised by the big three without getting any kind of a break before the next super talents showed up. until 2022 I really did naively believe we were getting a chaos era of SOME kind until that decrepit spanish ghoul showed up in australia to trample all over my soul and give me depression, and then immediately another bloody spaniard started going at it. how can you not be a little bit bitter that alcaraz got to swan to his first slam title without having to face a single member of the big three? idk man like sometimes it really is the magic of sports that the anointed few don't just have talent on their side, they are also fantastically lucky. you see it with how the big three all secured their first slams... things just seem to work out somehow. infuriating and existentially horrifying

anyway. lol. as you can see I do always have a tennis rant in me. will always be a major part of my life, obviously something I have a far far better understanding of than any other sport, still keep up with the women's game fairly closely... where icl it helps that the players I'm most invested in have dropped off SO badly this year, partly due to injury, that I can merrily ignore their existence. plus, and this bit is crucial, I don't loathe the players who actually win things. so I'm in a happy place where I just enjoy the sport and (if anything) want Certain top players to do better than they currently are... but also don't lose any sleep over the results. like, have I been massively frustrated with iga this year? yes, but it's also not made me stare at a wall for five hours. also, it's just been a way better product than this predictable basher servebot shit from the men. women's wimbledon semi day THE best tennis day of the year, prove me wrong. they've had actual classic matches, which the men have been noticeably short on. just sort of been an odd season for the men, with djokovic shrivelling and alcaraz patchy outside of two slams and sinner doing his whole 'I'm not a cardboard cut out I'm a REAL boy' routine on his way to fifty hard court titles and everyone else irrelevant. as I've already said... it's fine. whatever. hope the sport enjoys fifty thousand alcaraz/sinner slam wins as the earth keeps turning around the sun and eventually we all turn to dust. it's fine

and seriously, thank you for everything in the ask... always happy to hear I've made someone's fan experience like. better. and that I add something a little bit different to the mix lol, also literally no compliment I like to read more than anything to do with my actual writing. because this ask was so lovely, here's my personal favourite moment as a tennis fan this year:

still think that australian open title should be restored to us

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

ae could do like. a fic/fic series where all the chapters and such are purposely written to be very short

y'know? like- in the writing mood? have an idea with no start or end? want to get in that mindset so you can work on other thing? make the writing equivalent of a doodle and hope it helps

[kyouka-supremacy]

Dark Era Akutagawa embroidered shirt my beloved

[elftwink]

going to do something very scary today, which is reply to an email from..... last june 🫠😬 it's fine!!! it's going to be fine!!! am posting this so I don't chicken out

[dumbasswhatever]

i think basically it is way easier for me to enjoy media that is maybe not suuuuuper good but it definitely deserves more attention than it gets, than it is for me to enjoy media that is widely agreed to be incredible

[frankiebirds]

morgan's reaction to reid revealing he's never been to new york is so funny to me. maybe it's that he says his first line:

jj speaks:

(two sidenotes: one: jj is very cute here. two: why is she sitting like that)

and then morgan keeps going:

i think it would be less funny to me if there wasn't a beat between his two lines because it gives the impression that he's just Stuck on this train of thought. if hotch hadn't stopped their silliness to remind them that they're in a crime show would he have kept going. "it's four hours in your gay little car! it's a 24 hour 34 minute bike ride! it's a 112 hour walk! what is wrong with you!"

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Just remembered I have a psychiatrist appointment so early tomorrow. And I obviously dyed my hair so recently because there's green staining on my face. I don't think it's going to look great for the bipolar diagnosis, to disclose that I was feeling impulsive and wanted to get control over something, so I dyed my hair at midnight.