#a real rain
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okay. i love this scene. BUT. headcanon. this is not going to be angsty by the way. it's going to sound like it's going to be angsty at first but it's not i promise.
reid is a very insecure person, especially in the early seasons, and, given his past, has a tendency to take even very lighthearted teasing quite personally. so i have a headcanon that he went home genuinely embarrassed that he didn't know how to use chopsticks and resolved to learn. i could go either way on if it's out of "spite" (not nearly so strong, but i cant think of a better word) or self-consciousness.
anyway, sometime later, on a particularly bad case, they find themselves in a restaurant with chopsticks as the default utensil, and everyone starts (affectionately) ribbing reid before anyone's even started eating. at first, he defaults to offense/hurt/embarrassment, then puts two and two together. it's a really bad case. everyone is on edge...and they've chosen this restaurant specifically because reid not knowing how to use chopsticks provides levity they desperately need. if reid knows how to use chopsticks at this point? well. they don't need to know that. if he hasn't figured it out yet, he stops trying to.
(i have another, sillier version of this headcanon where morgan walks in on reid eating doritos with chopsticks so he doesn't get the flavouring on his fingers and gets through several minutes of affectionate bullying before going Hey. Wait a Fucking Minute.)
ANYWAY. this is longer than i wanted it to be and it might be better in my head but bottomline. idk. reid does sleight of hand im sure he could figure out chopsticks. but i think he knows the team needs some easy comic relief sometime. do you get me. do you see the vision.
#spencer reid#derek morgan#spencer reid headcanon#criminal minds headcanons#not fic#criminal minds#criminal minds rewatch#criminal minds s01e17#a real rain#morgan & reid#favourites
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Elle Greenaway & Jennifer Jareau in Criminal Minds, S1E17 (“A Real Rain”)
Just a sweet little moment I noticed between Elle and JJ, fantasizing about a dream vacation in Elle’s hometown.
#jelle#jennifer jareau#Elle Greenaway#criminal minds#cm s1e17#1x17#a real rain#they were girlfriends your honor
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Derek Morgan: You’ve never been to New York?
Dr. Spencer Reid: We’ve never had an unsub there.
Aaron Hotchner: I thought you [Gideon] were going to talk to Reid about taking some vacation time.
Jason Gideon: What’s vacation time?
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A Real Rain
Season One Masterlist
The Tribe
Somebody’s Watching
Summary: The BAU travels to New York City to investigate a series of murders that appear to have been committed by a vigilante who is exacting revenge on other criminals who have been released by the justice system.
Warning: Murder, Mention of pedophilia, Schizophrenia, Delusions, Vigilante, My interpretation of the victims, Talk of death penalty, Talk of philosophy, Underaged drinking
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” — Martin Luther King Junior
youtube
March 19, 2006
Hotch showed them a picture of a man's driver's license and showed them the man's body outside his cab.
"Walter Derbin, age fifty-two. His body was found in his cab in East Harlem. He was blindfolded and shot once in the chest. Death was caused by a knife stabbed through his ear. The UnSub broke off the handle with the blade lodged in his brain."
"It's the same signature as two other murders." JJ said and she showed a picture of a woman, "Rachel Holman, twenty-four, found in her apartment three weeks ago on the Lower East Side." Then she showed a picture of another man, "And Kaveh Surrani, thirty. Police found him two weeks later inside his painting studio in Hell's Kitchen."
"Different locations, different victimology." Hotch stated, "It's possible we're looking for someone who will hunt indiscriminately."
"NYPD have any leads?" Elle asked.
"Guy's a ghost." Hotch shook his head.
"He kills at night. There's no witnesses." JJ said.
"Is the NYPD feeling the strain?" Gideon asked.
"Well, they've withheld details so the press hasn't sniffed out a link between the murders." JJ said.
"With no discernible victim patterns, a killer's practically impossible to stop." Morgan said.
"Did you know the original Zodiac Killer actually continually changed his victims? Young, old, men, women, white, black." Spencer said.
"Exactly. And he killed for 30 years without ever being caught." Gideon said.
——————————————————————————————————
W. H. Auden said, "Murder is unique in that it abolishes the party it injures. So that society must take the place of the victim and, on his behalf, demand atonement or grant forgiveness."
"This is not how I planned to spend a few days home in New York." Elle said.
"I'd kill for an afternoon at Barney's and dinner at Il Cantinori."
"That sounds incredibly boring." Zoe deadpanned. Zarah would've loved it but Zoe always hated shopping.
"I'm looking forward to seeing New York." Spencer said.
Morgan and Zoe looked at him.
"You've never been to New York?" Morgan asked.
"We've never had an UnSub there." Spencer said.
"I thought you were going to talk to Reid about taking some vacation time." Hotch said to Gideon.
"What's vacation time?" Gideon deadpanned.
"Reid, it's a one-hour flight." Morgan said.
"Back before the BAU had a jet, we'd take road trips and New York was always our favorite because there was so much to see. Zarah always would spend like twelve hours shopping."
"It was two, at most." Alexander said.
"Well, it felt like twelve." Zoe said, "And I'd always go to bookstores and museums and obviously famous murder sights." Spencer looked at her speaking with awe in his eyes, "If we have some time, I'll show you around."
"Sounds wonderful." Spencer nodded.
"It's a three-hour train ride, man." Morgan said and Elle chuckled.
"Some people like to stay indoors. Not everyone's an extrovert, Morgan." Zoe defended.
"Well, at least, you finally got a date, Reid." Morgan teased.
"It's not a date!" Spencer's voice went up several octaves.
Alexander cleared his throat and Morgan stopped teasing since Alexander's daughter was involved. Zoe rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Okay, here's what we know. Blitz attackers are almost always male."
"And he got picked up in the pouring rain by a New York cabbie, so we definitely know he's not a brother." Morgan said, indicating that the UnSub was white.
"The fact that he kills in a major urban setting without detection indicates he's highly intelligent." Spencer said.
"How intelligent can he be?" Elle asked, "I mean, blitz attackers are textbook disorganized killers."
"Yeah, but he brings along a murder kit. Blindfold, knife. How disorganized can he be?" Zoe asked.
"We'll split up. We'll take the last two crime scenes." Gideon said, "In the meantime, let's talk about what we can agree on. Blindfold likely means one of two things."
"The UnSub might blindfold them initially if he's unsure of killing them and wants to avoid detection." Morgan said.
"Exactly, but since we know the cab driver couldn't have been blindfolded when he drove the UnSub, we're looking at reason number two. Blindfolding a victim suggests the UnSub feels remorse. Doesn't want his victims to look at him, as he kills them." Gideon said.
"I need caffeine." Zoe groaned and got up to make one of her overly-caffeinated Mexican Hot Chocolates"
"Sorry about Morgan..." Spencer's voice said, cracking slightly.
Zoe looked at him and smiled, "No problem. But I can't believe you haven't been to the Met, it's the largest museum in the world. I mean, I know you don't get out much and didn't in your childhood.'
"What do you mean?" Spencer asked, tensely, fearful that she had found out about his mother.
Zoe realized what she had said and double-tracked subtly, "Because of your personality. You're an introvert who prefers his own company or those you care about. I can only assume that was the same in your childhood. "Plus, you're from Las Vegas that's all that way across the country." Not technically a lie.
Spencer relaxed, "Right. Of course. So you like New York?"
"Yeah, it's probably the state where my dad could be sure that I wouldn't be in the police station, putting myself in danger, once I grew up enough to protect myself. There's too much to do." She looked down and hesitated before admitting, "Mom liked it. She wrote journals too about what she liked about the museums. It was a ritual that we'd go to her favorite museums... but I haven't gone since..."
"Oh, well, you don't have to..." Spencer mumbled, blushing.
"No, I think Zarah would want me to do it and she would like you." Zoe promised, "We would always go see a Broadway play too."
"How'd you get tickets?" Spencer asked.
Zoe looked at him with that mischievous glint in her eyes and slyly shushed him, indicating she and Zarah would sneak inside, she took her hot chocolate and went back to her seat.
Spencer watched her walk back with a cloudy gaze in his eyes until they landed on Morgan, just absolutely smirking at him... until Alexander smacked him in the head with his file, glaring at him.
——————————————————————————————————
Spencer, Gideon, and Zoe went to the crime scene where the cabbie was killed with the detective on the case, Nora Bennett.
Gideon looked at the building the cab was in front of.
"What's in that building?"
"Nothing." Bennett said, "It's been vacant for a couple of months."
"This train goes express after midnight, it doesn't even stop here." Spencer noted.
"He picked this spot beforehand." Gideon said.
"His last fare was logged at an address on Church Street." Zoe noted and she turned to Bennett, "Do you have any idea what's there?"
"Church is an entry point from Brooklyn. There's a dive there where the cabbies stop for coffee before the overnight shift."
"Explains how he got a cab." Spencer said.
"This guy is definitely not disorganized." Gideon said.
"Why does he shoot them and then stab them in the head and break the blade off in their heads?" Bennett asked.
"A few possibilities. Through the ear is the softest way to the brain." Zoe explained, "and snapping the handle's also common in prison shankings.
Your ex-boyfriend in prison tell you that. Spencer found himself suddenly bitterly thinking. He shook that thought away, not wanting to be that person for someone who wasn't even interested in him.
"Break the handle off, the other guy can't pull the blade out Not that you should ever pull the blade out. It's the only thing keeping you from bleeding out. Movies get that wrong. Never pull the blade out unless you have medical help." Zoe explained
"What's the other possibility?" Bennett asked.
"Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris drove ice picks into their victims' heads and broke off the handle." Spencer explained, "It's possible our UnSub is sort of a serial killer groupie."
"So is this guy an ex-con or some nut-job with an Amazon account?" An officer asked.
"This particular UnSub presents a mixed profile." Gideon said.
"No offense, but uh, then what good is it?"
"None taken." Zoe said, "The profile's just a starting point for narrowing down the suspects, but it does tell us some things. For instance, the fact that the UnSub shoots his victims first, it suggests that he wants a quick and effective means of controlling the situation. It's possible that he feels he can't overpower his victims. It could be that he has a physical problem or that he's not confident just because he's small."
"We now know he has a high degree of organization. That, coupled with the fact that he hunts at night, means he probably has a steady job." Gideon explained.
——————————————————————————————————
When they explained the profile to the police officers, someone asked, "So, we're looking for a small, angry, white guy with a day job?"
"Maybe it's Wilson." Another officer joked, making the other officers laugh.
"Cut it!" Bennett ordered.
"No, no, it's all right, it's all right. You're right." Gideon admitted, "There's a lot we still don't know, but we do know this, these are not blitz attacks. They're too controlled. These are absolutely executions."
"An UnSub's signature is his own extremely rare combination of MO and ritual. An UnSub kills to satisfy an inner need and will continue killing until that inner need, which is based on a ritual, is lived out perfectly."
"But because reality never lives up to fantasy, this becomes an impossibility." Zoe continued.
"In other words, he's not gonna stop killing until we catch him." Gideon said.
"Okay, hit the streets and keep your head on a swivel." Bennett told her officers.
The rest of the team continued, JJ shook Bennett's hand, "Hi. Jennifer Jareau, we spoke on the phone."
"Detective Bennett."
"Agent Hotchner." Hotch introduced himself.
"Hello."
"So, I spoke to your point man. I reiterated how important it is to keep the crime scene details under wraps, but it would go a long way if it came out of your mouth, too." JJ said.
"You got it." Bennett agreed.
"If this guy is who we think he is, we're talking terror like New York hasn't seen since Son of Sam." Hotch said.
——————————————————————————————————
There was another kill. In a church. Zoe hesitated before going in.
Apparently, the priest was found by the night janitor in the confessional booth who didn't see anything but they had a potential witness who was talking with a nun.
They approached the body, Zoe pulled her hair back in a ponytail
"First public killing. Getting bolder, huh?" Gideon said.
"Didn't let his surroundings alter his method. He's meticulous." Hotch said, "Presentation's every bit as important as the kill."
Hotch wandered to the witness where Elle and Morgan were questioning her, then Bennett, then Gideon and Alexander.
Spencer and Zoe stayed with the body. Spencer got in close next to the officer who was inspecting the body as Zoe pulled on her gloves The officer looked at Spencer oddly who smiled awkwardly back. Zoe stepped next to Spencer, leaning over the body to see something.
"Spence, do you see that?"
"What?" The officer asked.
"The blade." Zoe said, she reached down and slid it out. She looked at Spencer and nodded towards the others.
"He's not using just any knife. It's made of flint." Spencer told the others.
"As in stone?" Elle asked.
"In Egyptian mythology, flint was the symbol for protection and retribution. With hieroglyphics, they used to depict dangerous animals like scorpions and snakes being cut with flint knives in order to render them powerless." Spencer explained.
"Guys, come here!" Zoe called.
When they came over, she gently lifted the blindfold up and looked up, "Anything strike you as strange?"
"The blood's all on the inside." Hotch spotted.
"What'd she say?" Zoe asked, nodding at the witness.
"She spotted a man who was like moving his fingers like he was playing a piano and the priest was deemed innocent towards charges of pedophilia."
Zoe said something in Spanish and looked up, "Justice is blind."
"What?"
"The term, 'justice is blind'. Call Garcia and see if any of the others were acquitted." Zoe said.
Hotch went off to call Garcia.
"If the victim was blindfolded first, the blood would have flowed over the blindfold." Gideon explained, "He puts it on after he kills them."
Hotch returned soon, saying, "All three charged with a felony, all three found innocent."
"And that didn't show up on your man's radar?" Elle asked Bennett.
"Acquittals? No." Bennett said, "Why is it important?"
"Because we have a new profile." Gideon said and left with that.
"He does that." Zoe said.
——————————————————————————————————
They updated the police on the profile in the morning, using a slideshow. "We now believe these killings aren't random. We might be dealing with a vigilante. The UnSub first shoots his victims in order to subdue them. Flint knife then provides both an efficient kill and symbolic retribution. Finally, the victim is blindfolded, like the statue of Lady Justice. This particular UnSub, he displays both a heightened, he's... It's actually almost a poetic sense of right and wrong."
"Serial vigilantes are extremely rare. The exaggerated drama of these killings suggests that they're somehow personal." Spencer explained, "He or someone close to him was likely the victim of a violent crime. His first killing was possibly against his original attacker. And since then he's developed an overblown sense of justice in order to justify that killing to himself."
"Because he chooses the imagery of Lady Justice, it's possible we're dealing with someone who works in or around the criminal justice system. Lawyer, paralegal, bailiff, even a judge." Gideon said.
"We'll crosscheck unsolved murders against suspects in assault cases and victims who work in the system." Bennett suggested.
"Whatever the UnSub's job, he's someone who's a cog in the machine. He's overworked, undervalued. He's used to not being noticed. His sense of theatrics is a way to enhance his own self-esteem. Convince himself he has a higher purpose, but he also knows that people look right through him. Being faceless is his best defense against detection. He's everyone." Gideon said, "One last thing, we need you to close ranks. The more details slip out, the more he'll feed off it. We don't want him believing he's captured the public's fear or imagination."
JJ arrived with a newspaper, "Too late. The afternoon edition's leading with the vigilante story."
"Alright, who ratted!" Zoe shouted across the precinct but no one looked in her eye.
"Zoe, calm down." Alexander told his daughter, only one brave enough to meet her deadly gaze.
"How did they get it?" Bennett asked.
"I don't know.
Gideon put on his glasses and looked at the newspaper, "You were worried about this guy becoming another Son of Sam." He looked at Bennett, taking off his glasses. "Now we might be dealing with a vigilante folk hero like Bernhard Goetz."
——————————————————————————————————
The team went to get Chinese at a nearby restaurant.
"So you know there was a big hole in the profile you presented back there." Hotch said.
"Can you pass the moo shu, please?" Gideon asked.
"Uh, what-what's the hole?" JJ asked, passing it to Gideon.
"I left out the possibility our UnSub might be a cop." Gideon said.
"Well, they do know the system." Morgan admitted, "They're definitely overworked and underpaid."
"They see so much injustice every day they can easily take matters into their own hands." Hotch added.
"When someone like our victim is killed, police refer to the murder as a public service murder." Spencer said, he was struggling to keep his noodles on his chopsticks
"You know how many rapists I saw walk during my Sex Crime days?" Elle asked, "And either the victims, they didn't want to press charges, or the juries they said that she was asking for it. It was enough to make you explode."
"Well, it's a long way from feeling like that and actually committing murder. Don't you think?" JJ said.
"No, not really." Hotch said.
Alexander understood. They never caught who killed Zelena, he just stopped killing. They never caught who kidnapped Zoe and Zarah. And then there was that UnSub who kidnapped and stabbed Zoe when she was twelve...
"Excuse me, could I get a fork, perhaps?" Spencer tried to ask a waitress subtly.
Morgan laughed at this.
"Did you know that experts credit Confucius with the advent of the chopstick?" Spencer tried to hide his embarrassment with an info-dump. "He equated knives with acts of aggression."
"You don't know how to use them, do you?" Morgan asked.
"It's like trying to forage for dinner with a pair of number two pencils." Spencer complained.
"Okay, here let me help you." Zoe said, taking her hair tie from earlier and wrapping it around his chopsticks.
"Oh, the rubber band trick." Morgan laughed.
"Yeah, the rubber band trick. Rossi taught me this after I threw the chopsticks at his head too many times though that more because he gets pretentious when he cooks." Zoe said.
Gideon smiled at this.
"Well, New York City cops do have a lot of pressure on them." Morgan said, back on the subject of the case, "Every move they make gets scrutinized."
"One of the first cases of criminal profiling happened when a New York City cop asked a criminal psychiatrist friend to help with the Mad Bomber case." Gideon said.
"The Mad Bomber was a major inspiration for the Unabomber. He eluded cops in New York for sixteen years, starting in 1940, but he kept his promise and never set off a single bomb during the Second World War." Spencer said.
"Psychiatrist James Brussels, he developed a profile so accurate, he predicted that when they caught the Bomber, he'd be wearing a double-breasted suit and it would be buttoned." Zoe said, "And he was right."
"You guys, we're here in New York and even when we're not talking about our case, we end up talking about another profiler." Elle chuckled.
"You're right." Hotch said as Spencer continued to struggle with his chopsticks. "So, Elle, are you seeing anyone?"
Morgan and Elle chuckled before Elle said, "Gideon, why didn't you tell the cops that it might be one of their own?
"If we're gonna catch the guy, we need all the help the cops can give us. Last thing I wanna do is accuse one of them of murder." Gideon said.
"How's it going there?" Zoe asked Spencer.
"Awesome." He said, sarcastically as Gideon's phone rang.
"Gideon." He answered.
Spencer missed again. "It's absolutely incredible, 1.3 billion people stay nourished using these things."
"Yeah. Okay. I got it." Gideon said and hung up, "He just took out a cop-killer."
——————————————————————————————————
They were back at the station and Bennett handed Gideon a file of pictures of the new murder. "His name's Shawn Cooley. One year ago he killed two Port Authority cops and he walked, because the only witness against him was shot six times outside his apartment."
"Might be worth having your men re-canvass this morning." Gideon said, flipping through the photos, "People are more likely to talk in the day. They feel safer."
"I'm already on it."
JJ arrived, "More bad news."
"Oh, neat, what is it?" Zoe deadpanned.
She handed Hotch a newspaper, "It's the same reporter every time. Lance Wagner. He's practically deifying him."
"I'm not even happy with the results when God plays God." Gideon said.
"You know, a few of the men were talking about making him a wish list of other dirtbags." Bennett said.
"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets."
"Taxi Driver." Spencer recognized.
"This town loves a psychopath." Bennett said.
"Why hasn't he contacted the press yet?" Spencer asked.
"Reid's right. He's got the symbolism, the inflated sense of duty. He should be seeking out acclaim." Hotch agreed.
"Maybe it's not about acclaim with him." Zoe suggested. "He's on a mission. Maybe it's about the work."
"Yeah, but the last two cases were a cop-killer and a pedophile priest." Hotch said, "Those are higher-profile cases."
"He's getting more confident." Spencer noted
"He's growing into his role as the city's judge and executioner." Gideon said.
"I'll check the press archives for controversial acquittals." JJ said, "Maybe we can target the victim before the UnSub. Have the police waiting on him." Then JJ went off to go do that.
Elle approached them, "Hey, guys, listen to what came off the tip hotline." She pushed play on the recorder in her hand.
"I got a tip. Let the guy be."
"How come the NYPD wants to catch this guy? Are you jealous he's doing the job better than you?"
Elle stopped it, "It goes on for half an hour."
"He's a hero." Gideon said.
"The exact same thing happened with the Goetz New York subway shooting in the early eighties." Gideon said.
"You weren't even born." Gideon said.
"I read a lot." Spencer said.
——————————————————————————————————
When Morgan arrived he informed them that Garcia found that all five cases had gone through the Manhattan Criminal Courthouse at 100 Centre Street.
"Do you have any idea how many cases..." Hotch started.
"One hundred-twenty-two-nine-hundred-ninety-eight cases a year." Morgan replied, repeating what Garcia told him.
"I'm assuming you didn't know that on your own?" Zoe asked.
"We'll check it out." Gideon said, "Maybe there's someone with a history of erratic behavior who worked in the building. Crime groupies. Security guard that fits the profile." He looked at Morgan, "Get with JJ. See what you can make of her case list."
——————————————————————————————————————————————
Alexander, Hotch, Gideon, Zoe, and Spencer checked the courthouse.
"Ever crossed your minds?" Hotch asked Alexander and Gideon.
"Taking the law into my own hands?" Gideon asked.
"Not the law, justice." Hotch said.
"Yes." Alexander said, bluntly.
"What's this about? The boys in Iowa?" Gideon asked.
"It's just a question." Hotch deflected.
"It wasn't your fault, Hotch." Zoe said from behind them, shaking her head.
"I guess I think if I ever let my mind go there, then the UnSubs would be getting into my head instead of me getting into theirs. That wouldn't be a good idea, now would it?" Gideon said.
“Well, an UnSub never kidnapped your pregnant girlfriend and killed her and nearly killed your youngest daughter who would continuously be threatened by UnSubs throughout her life.” Alexander said, sternly.
"Dad." Zoe warned.
"Angel." He repeated her tone.
They passed a statue of Lady Justice with the blindfold.
Zoe can't say she had never thought about it. She had been tortured to what was added up to be over a year's worth, but none more so than that one UnSub...
Alexander split up with Gideon while Zoe went with Hotch and Spencer, they spoke to an older man, giving the description to him.
"He's quiet, he... Body language gives the impression he's seen too much." Hotch said,
"Work in this building long enough, we all get that way." He said.
"We have more." Zoe said, glancing up at a picture of, yet again, Lady Justice with the blindfold. "He's small. Meticulous. You might not notice him at first but when you do, you realize he's heard everything around him."
"He might have had a personal brush with crime. When it happened, he talked about it all the time, but now you realize he hasn't mentioned it in quite a while." Spencer added.
"And when the subject of the vigilante comes up, he expresses his support, but it's not something he would bring up in conversation himself." Hotch added.
"Well, if people are being honest with you, that's most of the people in this building." The man said. He turned to Spencer and Zoe, "How old are you two?"
"Twenty-four." Spencer said, confused.
"Twenty." Zoe said with a resigned sigh.
As always, people did a double-take that someone so young was an FBI agent but she just stared at him like, get it over with."
“I give you six years and you ten. By that point, a tiny part of your brain will be asking if what this guy’s doing isn’t the right way to do.”
“My parents co-founded the BAU, when my mom died, my dad brought me along on cases and I’ve seen my fair share of tragedy. My mom died hours before I was born and I’ve been kidnapped by serial killers who would make you shiver and weep and… I don’t kill people with no evidence. Not unless I need to.” She said. "It's not right to force the death penalty on people."
——————————————————————————————————
Zoe and Spencer met up with Alexander and Gideon.
"Anything?"
"Nothing useful. Just a bunch of depressing statements." Zoe deadpanned. "You?"
"Same." Alexander matched her tone.
"What happened in Iowa?" Spencer asked.
Zoe looked at Spencer, the same as Gideon and Alexander.
"It was one of the first cases Hotch worked with us. Small town, two boys had been murdered, same signature. Profile led us to the local 4-H leader. We went to interview him, the guy, he was suicidal. He had a shotgun. Our guns were drawn. And at some point, he turns the shotgun on Hotch, but instead of firing, Hotch talks him down. The guy surrenders." Gideon explained.
"Sounds like pretty good work."
"At trial, the guy's wife gave him an alibi for both murders." Zoe explained with a sigh.
"Small town, they all knew each other. Jurors believed her. Eventually, they got him when he killed another boy." Gideon continued.
"That's on the wife and the UnSub. Not Hotch." Zoe said, sternly.
Hotch came up to them.
"What's not Hotch?" Hotch asked.
"Smiling." Zoe retorted, sarcastically.
"Any luck?" Hotch asked Gideon.
Gideon handed the newspaper he was looking at with the headline: Street Justice
"I want punch him in the face." Zoe deadpanned.
"You usually do want to punch someone in the face." Alexander told his daughter.
"Point taken." She admitted.
"This guy's not doing us any favors." Hotch remarked about the reporter.
"His access is unbelievable. He's practically scooping us." Spencer said.
——————————————————————————————————
JJ met with Lance Wagner. "The FBI needs help, and they get you to do their bidding?" Lance asked JJ.
"I am an FBI Special Agent." JJ said, "The rest of the team is too busy. They're out on the field."
"Yeah, and they're doing a bang-up job, too." Lance scoffed.
JJ glanced at a file tab that said: Righteous Killings. Lance put it away.
"Look, the fact is, you've scooped every other reporter in New York." JJ said, "You've even managed to be ahead of the cops a few times."
"A good crime reporter needs to be better than the police." Lance said. "You got less to go on.
"Well, that's why Agent Gideon was hoping you'd accept this invitation to help." JJ said.
"Jason Gideon?" Lance asked as if he wasn't sure if he heard her.
"Mm-hmm." JJ hummed.
"Ha. Ha. Ha." He said with arrogance and sarcasm, "He used to be one of the best."
JJ did not have her trademark friendly look on her face but she forced herself to remain professional, "He still is."
"Yeah. He had kind of a famous meltdown." JJ knew if not before Zoe would've punched this guy in the face but JJ kept the smile on her face.
"And a whole string of successes since he's returned."
“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah." He dismissed, "Meltdowns make better copy. And he recommended his co-founder and friend’s daughter who was four years under the required age.”
"Zoe is the exception. She was qualified.
"How?"
"She's a genius."
"She's mentally ill."
"Which is what makes her genius. You can see for yourself. You can take that up with them, yourself. You know, if you decide to come in." JJ said.
——————————————————————————————————
Hotch, Gideon, and Zoe spoke to Lance once he came in and Zoe dug her nails into her palm to keep from punching him.
"So, how did you put together the vigilante angle so quickly?" Hotch asked.
"I covered the original trials of all the victims." Lance replied.
"Must have a good memory." Gideon said, "A lot of killers can't remember details from their own crimes."
"Some cases just stick right in your brain." Lance said.
"Tell us about the victims." Hotch said, handing him the photos.
"All right, well, this girl, she was just a waste case." Lance said, pointing at a picture of the first victim, Rachel Holman. "The jury bought into the whole addiction-as-disease BS."
Zoe's eyes hardened. "Her name was Rachel Holman and she was trying to start a new life and was going to Acholoics Anomonous." She said with a slight edge.
"Whatever." He muttered, but he shifted. "And this old guy, he was a thug. He beat his wife, but the case fell apart because she wouldn't testify." Walter Berbin.
"Surrani?" Gideon asked, showing him a picture of the second victim, Kaveg Surrani, "He drank and drove. It was a tragedy, but it was the kind of thing that could happen to anybody, so..."
He related to him the most because he was an alcoholic too.
"So, who do you think we're looking for?" Hotch asked, "What's his background?"
"My guess is he's a crime victim. Probably something violent."
"But you do think he's a hero?" Gideon asked.
"Well, you know, this city makes you swallow a lot of crap. It's hard not to feel for someone who won't take it anymore." Lance said.
"These haven't been released to the press. They're pretty grim." Hotch said, handing him the photos of Shawn Cooley's corpse.
"Well, I've seen plenty of crime scenes." Lance dismissed.
"Huh?" Lance said, picking up a picture of the flint in the ear.
"We're stuck on the ear. Is it for killing efficiency or symbolism?" Gideon asked. Lance glanced up at Gideon but then looked again, noticing Gideon's intense gaze. "Why would you stab someone through the ear into their brain?"
"What's going on here?" Lance asked.
"The profile leads us to think that he works close to the criminal justice system. What do you think?" Hotch asked.
"Oh, no, no. You didn't bring me in here because you wanted my help." Lance said.
"Yes and no." Zoe told him.
"Profile suggests this guy'd contact the media. He hasn't." Gideon said.
"And we thought the killer wouldn't need to contact the press if he were the press." Hotch added.
"You're single-handedly turning this psychopath into a folk hero." Gideon said.
"So what happened? You get your men killed on the job and you think everybody else must be a killer, too?"
"Hey!" Zoe snapped.
"Watch your mouth." Hotch said.
"It's okay, Hotch, Zoe." Gideon said.
"It's not okay!" Zoe argued and she stood up and sighed, "He's not our guy."
Damn right. I didn't kill anybody. What about you?" Lance looked at Zoe. "You and your sister went missing for eight months and only you came back."
"Wagner." Zoe's tone was so cold and sharp that it made Lance stop. "You're right. You're not the killer."
"Mmm-hmm." He nodded like, duh.
“Everything you feel is vicarious. You don’t have it in you to act. You’re worn out, exhausted, cynical, but not completely devoid of empathy. You don’t focus much on the victims’ recent past, like that Rachel was trying to make a new life for herself, trying to not be a 'waste case’ anymore; you only focus on what they were accused of. You’re observant, if you were in her apartment, you would’ve seen the numerous pictures of her boyfriend who OD'd, her 'change of address’ paper, and the printout of A.A. meetings. All of that indicated, that her boyfriend’s overdosing was an accident on his part that she was accused of but she truly cared for him and decided to try and better herself to avoid turning out like him before the vigilante took that from her without warning, without discussion, without knowing the truth.” She explained. Lance’s eyes kept breaking away with obvious signs of slight guilt, “This psycho’s the last chance for you. You’ve screwed up other jobs. You drank too much, you empathized the most with Kaveg Surrani. You probably have a broken marriage or two. You’re actually hoping he doesn’t get caught for a while. That part of you knows that’s twisted and pathetic, but, hey, just reporting the news, right?”
Lance saw what JJ meant about her mental illness making her a genius. She saw through him more than he’d want to admit. She empathized with the victims which made him feel bad for dismissing them. She was right.
——————————————————————————————————
Zoe left the room to the precinct, "Well, I managed not to punch him in the face."
"I'm very proud of you." Alexander deadpanned to his daughter.
Bennett approached them, "The reporter is not our vigilante."
"Yeah, we know. How do you know?" Elle said.
"There was just another shooting in Central Park."
"You say shooting, what about the rest of the signature?" Morgan asked.
"Officers heard the shot, but he ran off before they got there. The victim was an undercover cop." Bennett said.
Zoe looked past her at a man with a black hood on entering. "I think you're looking for me." He held up his hand, holding an M1911 pistol.
Everyone took their guns out at this possible threat.
"Put the gun on the ground!"
"On your knees!"
"On your knees right now!"
"Drop the gun!"
The man got on his knees and got on the floor
"Get down! Don't move!"
"No, you don't understand. I did this all for you. We're in this together." The man said.
——————————————————————————————————
The man sat in the interrogation room with Gideon and Bennett.
"Name's Will Sykes. He's a security guard at a boutique in SoHo. He was a mugging victim last year. Spent two days in intensive care." Morgan informed them.
"Fits the profile." Spencer said.
"Yeah, barely." Zoe muttered.
"How's it going in here?" Elle asked.
"He just confessed to all the murders." JJ said.
Zoe rolled her eyes and entered the interrogation room to get some answers, she sat down next to Gideon.
"So, what were you doing in the park?" Bennett asked.
"It's full of animals. Muggers, scum, drug dealers. I knew one of them would try to prey on me." Sykes said.
"That's not your usual method." Gideon said. "I mean, you target them. You don't let them target you."
"I made that point. Now I'm making this one."
Zoe clasped her hands under her chin, nodding patronizingly, "Mmm. Mmm-hmm. So you're not going to suddenly go back to the original signature, huh?"
"What?"
"What's the point you're trying to make now?"
"If you hunt us on the street, you will die the way you live."
Zoe's facial expression didn't change at all, she just continued to stare at him with an annoyed and unconvinced look on her face, like he was nothing but a nuisance to her. Her mind flashed back to a case eight years ago.
"You know a serial killer told my dad something similar once and he made more sense than you do. That cop wasn't hunting you. Self-defense is one thing, unprompted murder is another." Zoe said.
"So, why turn yourself in now?" Bennett asked.
"I can't change this city without help. People need to be inspired. They need to see me. They need to hear my voice." He said.
Zoe nodded. Now she understood. This guy wanted to be famous. He was a narcissist and wanted to take credit.
"Can you tell me about the cab driver, Derbin?" Gideon asked.
"He was a thug. A wife beater." Was all he said. Profound.
"Can you tell me about the first victim, Rachel Holman?" Zoe asked.
"She was a drug addict."
"She was getting off drugs, starting a new life. She had pictures of her boyfriend. This all points to that his overdose was an accident from his own hand and she didn't want to turn out like that." Zoe corrected him.
He showed no empathy.
"And the priest?" Gideon asked.
"What's to know?" Sykes shrugged, "He preyed on young boys."
"Is that why you stabbed him in the groin?" Zoe asked.
"It's what he deserved."
Zoe smirked, "Thank you... for proving my point. The priest wasn't stabbed in the groin, copycat."
"No, I did it." He protested as Gideon and Bennett left the interrogation room, Zoe stayed behind.
“Do you know what I do for the FBI? I’m assuming you don’t because you have narcissistic delusions and are only doing this for the infamy but I’m going to tell you anyways and you’re going to listen. I profile criminals. The vigilante we’re looking for targets people who were acquitted but presumably, he believes them to be guilty without actual evidence. He’s not going to change that. He’s not just trying to make a point, he’s trying to justify something he did. He uses a particular way of killing that he’s not going to change that you didn’t do and have no knowledge of. You killed that man for no reason and you will only be remembered as a sad, pathetic man who thought murder was a good way to be famous.”
She turned and left without another word.
"We know our UnSub has a heightened sense of right and wrong. If he knew that he inspired a would-be vigilante to murder an undercover cop, he might feel remorse." Spencer was saying.
"Do you think you might be able to mend fences with the reporter, Wagner?" Gideon asked JJ.
"If it played to his ego, yeah." JJ said.
"Well, we might be able to draw the UnSub out. That's a good one." Gideon said.
——————————————————————————————————
The cop's funeral played on the television, the next morning. Amazing Grace was played on the bagpipes.
"Wagner said, this morning, that the cop's blood is all over the vigilante's hands." Spencer said.
"How did JJ get him to cooperate?" Hotch asked.
"UnSub might feel a need to be there, physically mourn for what he caused." Gideon said as they did the 21-salute on the television. "If that article lures him, Wagner gets to claim he caught a murderer. It's the ultimate scoop."
"Will they know how to spot him?" Bennett asked.
"I briefed your men. If the UnSub's there, he'll be alone, out of place, not speaking to anyone else, probably not even making eye contact. Hopefully, he'll panic, draw attention to himself." Gideon said.
"I can never get that sound out of my head. It wakes me in the middle of the night." Bennett admitted.
"You should try being Scottish."
"Or half-Scottish." Zoe added and her father ruffled her hair.
"If there was any justice, cop-killers would have to hear it for an eternity."
Hotch's phone rang and he answered it, "Hotchner. Yeah."
Hotch informed the team of his phone call once it finished, Morgan had found out that there weren't any records available from Derbin's trial which had been four months ago.
Hotch caught Alexander, Gideon, Zoe, and Spencer up on this as they left the police station, "That means that anyone who knows the details of that case had to have been in the courtroom.
"Court reporters take their work home with them." Gideon said.
"They get paid overtime. They take their notes in court and finish transcribing them at night." Hotch said.
"You know what Bennett said about not being able to get the sound of bagpipes out of her head." Alexander said, "Maybe that's why the UnSub stabs the ears."
"Killers often harm their victims in ways" that they themselves have been harmed." Zoe pointed out, her hand subconsciously went to one of her scars.
"A court reporter is by definition a faceless cog in the machine. He sits there, day in, day out, transcribing testimony." Hotch said.
"Well, what if the voices wouldn't stop when you left the courtroom?" Gideon asked.
"The witness in the church said that the UnSub was uh," Spencer mimed with his fingers, "doing a piano-like motion."
"Or transcribing." Zoe said.
"Killing's a good way to get the voices to stop, huh?"
Zoe called Garcia and put her on speakerphone.
"Holla."
"I need the name of the court stenographer in each of the victims' original trials." Hotch said.
"Same one every time. Marvin Doyle."
"Crosscheck him against crime records. See if he was ever the victim of a violent crime." Hotch said.
"No, not him."
"See if anyone close to him was a victim of a violent crime." Zoe suggested. "Any family members?"
"Oh, Darkness, my beautiful friend, you read my brilliant mind." Garcia said, "His parents, killed in an attempted robbery, '04."
"That's his stressor. Is he still working?" Hotch asked.
"100 Centre, Courtroom 103."
——————————————————————————————————
Zoe got to the courthouse first on her motorcycle and by the time the others entered the courthouse, they saw Zoe walking back to the entrance, “Doyle called in sick but he worked in the same courtroom, Hotch, Spence, and I went to yesterday.”
"He saw us." Spencer said.
"I already called for a warrant." Zoe said.
——————————————————————————————————
The team and the police arrived at Doyle's place in their vests.
"Marvin Doyle? FBI. Open up." Gideon called but there was no reply.
They kicked the door in and they entered with their guns out but there was no one home.
Zoe walked to the window that had shiny tinfoil and duct tape on foam over them. She peeled it off, letting in the sound of an ambulance siren of a passing by ambulance.
"Trying to keep the voices out." Zoe said, "Soundproofed the entire place."
"He ripped the speakers out of the television and the radio." Elle noted, "And here is a life insurance check for $250,000. It's two years old. He didn't cash it."
Gideon took it from Elle, "He won't accept blood money."
Spencer showed them a photo of Doyle kissing a woman's cheek but her face was scribbled out
"Here's a box full of flint knives. There's got to be a hundred of them." Hotch said.
"Guys, come take a look at this." Morgan said, standing over a machine similar to a typewriter but not quite. "It's a stenography machine, but look at the keys. They're all worn out."
There were boxes of paper from the machine, "It's like he was trying to transcribe the voices in his head but couldn't keep up." Zoe said, forcing herself not to revert into a memory.
"It looks like hieroglyphics." Elle said, looking at the text.
"It's called steno. It's basically a phonetic series of syllables. No court reporter takes notes the same way, so no one can translate them but the reporter himself." Spencer explained.
"He's getting paid overtime to study potential victims." Alexander said.
"He knows we're on to him. He's racing us now.
"Someone in these boxes is targeted to die. We need to get inside his head and figure out who, so we can stop him. Let's go. Start fishing." Gideon said.
They brought some boxes out and started going through them. Morgan brought out another and said, "You know, this is a lot of boxes, how are we supposed to narrow it down?"
"Check and see if it ended in acquittal. If it didn't, toss it aside." Gideon said.
"It has to be a capital case. He's escalating. The more brutal the better." Hotch said.
"Why not go by most recent?" Elle asked.
"Judging by his elaborate filing system, Doyle, obviously, has obsessive-compulsive disorder." Spencer said.
"People with OCD often finish tasks and then go back to the beginning and start over." Zoe continued. "So he continually goes through the transcripts and the first one to trigger him becomes his next victim.
"Here's one. This is a liquor store owner who was shot with his own gun." Elle said.
"Flip to when they present the defense." Hotch advised, "Did the defendant testify?"
"No."
"Stick with the ones where the accused took the stand. This is personal. He hears their voices." Hotch said.
"Doyle's victims all claimed to be a type of victim themselves. First two threw themselves on the mercy of the court, pleading alcohol and drug dependency." Gideon said, Zoe gave him a look before going back to reading. "The priest said he was a victim, victim of recent hysteria."
"Look for key phrases: Victim, mercy, anything that signifies they thought their crime wasn't their fault." Hotch said.
"I think I might have one, guys. Ted Elmore." Spencer said, "He shot and killed both his parents after claiming self-defense for years of physical abuse."
"Doyle lost his own parents. Hearing someone get away with killing their own, that would haunt him." Gideon said.
They had Garcia get Ted Elmore's phone number and Zoe called. A woman picked up.
"Hello."
"Is Ted Elmore there?" Zoe asked.
"Not right now. Can I take a message?
"Who's this?" Zoe asked.
This is his wife. Who's this?"
"My name is Zoe Noble-Valdez, I'm with the FBI.
Her voice became a little less distant, speaking away from the phone, "Honey, the FBI is on the phone."
Then there was a BANG! And there was Mrs. Elmore's scream.
"Mrs Elmore? Mrs Elmore?" She asked, she looked around, "He's there. I'm getting my motorcycle."
"You need to wait for backup!" Hotch shouted after her as she started running.
"I can at least stall him!" Zoe shouted.
——————————————————————————————————
Zoe drove through traffic, weaving through and no one was very happy about her being there.
She made it to the apartment and ran up the stairs, no one was there as they retreated to safety when they heard the gunshot. She knew they would put snipers up but Doyle was most likely an undiagnosed schizophrenic with no one to help him, she wasn't going to let someone be shot just for having a disorder and trauma. But talking was worth a shot. He had an innocent hostage and he had an exaggerated sense of right and wrong.
"Please, just let us go."
"SHUT UP!" Doyle shouted to Mrs. Elmore who was crying and pleading.
"He didn't do anything to you." She sobbed.
She pulled out her gun and entered the open door. Elmore wasn't crying, he wasn't showing pain, he just sat there as he bled out. It's what Zoe would do. Only someone used to the pain would do that. He hadn't been lying.
"Mister Doyle, I am Doctor Zoe Noble-Valdez with the FBI. Put down your weapon."
"I'll kill him."
"Why?" Zoe asked.
"Tell them how you lied. Tell them how you killed your parents and pretended they'd been hurting you." He demanded.
"They did hurt me." Elmore said.
"You're a liar."
"What if he's not lying, Doyle? What if he's telling the truth?" Zoe asked.
"He's not."
"You hear voices, right? They tell you that people are lying. But they're wrong"
"You're lying."
'I'm not lying. Rachel Holman had an addiction but addiction is hard to fight. It can happen to anyone. She didn't kill her boyfriend, he overdosed by his own hand. She didn't want to end up like him so she tried to turn her life around."
"Liar!"
"New address. She was going to A.A. meetings. You're trying to justify your killings but eventually someone is going to be innocent."
"Stop lying!"
Hotch and Gideon entered the room with their guns drawed, "I'll kill him." He repeated.
"Then you wouldn't get to hear the truth. If he admits the truth, the voices'll stop, right?" Gideon was taking another tact.
"They always lie."
"Do you have the shot?" Zoe heard through her comm.
"Negative."
"Let us interrogate him. Put the gun down. We're the FBI. We'll get the truth." Hotch said.
"Marvin, I'm going to put my gun away." Gideon said, "We'll do this together, okay?" Gideon put his gun away but Zoe and Hotch kept theirs trained on him
Gideon glared at Elmore, "Tell him the truth. Tell him how you lied on the stand."
"They did hurt me."
"Don't listen to him, Marvin." Zoe advised.
"If he dies, they'll go away!" He screamed.
Zoe chuckled bitterly, "What do you think, they won't come back? They'll always come back."
"Waverly, Iowa, 1995. A man kills two boys, only to walk away free and kill another one." Hotch said.
"Stop."
"Haskins, Georgia, last year. Three white guys. Three white guys kill a black teenager, just because. Four witnesses see it, the jury finds them not guilty, just because." Gideon said.
"The first two boys were fourteen years old. The third was only twelve." Hotch said.
"Shut up!"
"It doesn't stop." Zoe said.
"Diallo, Blake, Simpson, T. Cullen Davis. You can't kill fast enough to keep up."
"They killed my parents."
"I know." Zoe said, "But Ted isn't him. Doyle, he’s bleeding out in front of his wife, what if he’s telling the truth.”
“He’s not.”
“Doyle, I’m a profiler. I’ve spent my entire life deciphering people’s body language. Look, he’s not crying, he’s taking the pain. Only a child of abuse would know how to do that.”
“The voices said he did. He killed his own blood.”
This wasn’t working. He was too convinced in the voices. They could do this until Elmore bled out.
"Then you'll need to kill me too. Because I've allegedly killed more family members than him. My own blood. My own mother. My own sister. And I got off scot-free. Wasn't even charged."
"What?"
"My mom died because of me. I killed my uncle when I was thirteen. Five years ago, my sister and I went missing and only I came back. I wasn't charged any of these times. There was no evidence that I didn't kill her but there was no trial."
“I see things too. I see dead people. And I welcome it. I hear voices, I’ve learned to cope. But I know how tired you must be. Just let him live, give me the gun and I promise you, I will get you a place to rest." Zoe promised. "The voices will stop. That's what you want, right?"
Doyle let Elmore fall but he still had the gun
"He... he... needs to die. And you do..."
"Your parents would be so ashamed. Because you're just like the man who killed them. You don't intend to be caught for murder."
"What?"
"You killed all those people because they got off on the charges but that's exactly what you're doing! Rachel Holman was trying to do better and you took that from her. Ted, here has spent years of being abused and you're going to end his life as painfully as it was. Not all of them were guilty! Not everyone who gets acquitted is guilty. A lot of people are but some aren't. Including you. Just drop the gun."
"The voices..."
"You're an undiagnosed schizophrenic. The voices just tell you what you're afraid of based off your trauma. We can get you into a nice a hospital and they'll treat your schizophrenia. It'll be better. I promise. Just give me the gun!"
He loosened the grip on the gun and Zoe takes it. She had been standing in Hotch's way. She knew what he was going to do.
She lets Gideon arrest Doyle and she applies pressure to Elmore's wound as she gives Hotch a glare.
"We do not kill people for being mentally ill. Now be helpful and call an ambulance." She spat at him.
——————————————————————————————————
Gandhi said, "Better to be violent if there's violence in our hearts "than to put on the cloak of non-violence to cover impotence."
Gandhi also said, "I object to violence, because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary. The evil it does is permanent."
"You tried to get him to shoot you." Hotch told her as she watched the ambulance drive away.
"I was trying to stall and confuse him. I was trying to get him to forget about Elmore." Zoe corrected him.
"You kept blocking my shot." Hotch accused.
"Because I wasn't going to let you shoot him for being a schizophrenic. Trauma is a contributing factor to schizophrenia. He likely had it before but the death of his parents worsened it and fueled his delusions. The injustice caused the paranoia. You told me in a few years I could be the team's Forensic Physiatrist. That means I'm in charge of cases with mentally ill UnSubs because I know what I'm doing. If I had a psychotic break would you shoot me dead?"
"No."
"Because you know me or because you don't want to admit the truth?" She demanded. "If Jack had one, do you think the best thing would be to shoot him or to treat him for the illness."
——————————————————————————————————
Zoe had been suspended for disobeying Hotch’s implied orders for a week without pay and Hotch pretended not to use context to figure out what she was cursing in Spanish at him.
——————————————————————————————————
After work, Spencer knocked on Zoe’s door, worried about her. There was a clutter on the other side of the door and muffled cursing in Spanish. Then there was a fumbling for the lock.
Spencer had a feeling before she opened the door and he saw Zoe looking drunk, her hair was disheveled, her eyes were slightly watery
"Are you drunk?" He asked, bluntly.
"No." She said, blankly, her poker face was better than a lot of sober people would be but not as good as it usually was and Spencer saw right through it.
"You're underaged."
"You're a forensic psychologist, not a police officer." She said. "And I turn twenty-one in October."
"But you're not yet."
"Are you going to arrest me, Spence?" She asked mockingly.
Spencer wasn't. If anyone had an excuse to drink it was Zoe. So he didn't give a response. "May I come in?"
"Yes, you may, Doctor Who." She said in a decent British accent.
Spencer entered, passing Zoe, smelling the smell of alcohol. "I'm sorry about what happened."
Zoe just smiled sarcastically as she went back to her couch. "Story of my life. I try to do the right thing and I get punished."
"What do you mean?"
Zoe's gaze unhazed slightly, "It's not important. Not yet."
Spencer looked at her coffee table and saw a file.
“What’s that?” He asked, reaching for it but Zoe suddenly slammed her hand down on the file.
“Don’t.” She said, a seriousness in her glazy eyes.
Spencer held his hands up, relenting, "Okay. Okay."
She slumped back onto the couch, looking sadder than Spencer had ever seen her, she thumbed her glass of what seemed to be vodka.
"It's not right to shoot someone just for having a disorder." She mumbled. "He didn't ask to have schizophrenia and trauma. Schizophrenia is caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors."
Spencer wholeheartedly agreed. If his mother had a violent break, he'd do everything in his power to keep her alive, but he doubted she ever would, she was more likely to hurt herself than she was others.
"The way schizophrenia affects you depends on your specific life factors. The schizophrenia was most likely not severe but then his parents were killed and then the injustice, forming the black and white morality." She said.
"I know." Spencer said.
"Elmore was abused. He wasn't crying, he was just calmly stating that his parents did hurt him. Only someone who learned to take pain could do that. That's what I was trying to do. I was trying to show him that opinions don't state whether or not someone is guilty. His opinion is as much his as it is someone on a jury. I was trying to force him to see that not everything is black and white."
"You were goading him."
"Yeah, if someone in that room was guilty enough for him to kill, it was me."
"Zoe, you're not a guilty person."
Zoe looked down, shaking her head, "You don't get. And I can't tell you. I can't tell anyone."
"Is this about Zarah?"
"Yes but also no. I've done things. People have died because of me. People will die because of me."
"Zoe..."
"Every room, I step in, I could kill everyone in there if I really wanted to."
"But you don't, you're a good person."
“Nietzsche said morality is subjective. Edward Westermarck portrayed all moral ideas as subjective judgements that reflect one’s upbringing. David Hume believed moral judgements are based on human emotions and sentiments rather than objective truths.”
Spencer's heart did a leap. Even when she was drunk, she was so smart. Smarter than anyone he had ever met.
“It’s true. No one is purely evil and no one is purely good. You’ve been through hell, any one of the things you’ve been through would traumatize someone for the rest of their life but you keep on going in that life because you know you’re helping people. You must’ve done things to survive. It’s wrong to kill someone, but when it’s in self-defense, no one can blame you. You said it yourself, not everything is black and white.”
Zoe's eyes darted up to him and narrowed in dull surprise and mild confusion. She was used to another answer.
Spencer slowly took the bottle from her and capped it and put it on the coffee table.
"Let's get you ready for bed to try and sleep this off." Spencer smiled, kindly at her.
Though, Zoe could get ready for bed herself, even while drunk, she let Spencer guide her to the bathroom and he gently brushed her teeth, cradling her head, gently as she looked at him with an unreadable look.
When they made it to her bedroom, Spencer gestured awkwardly to her dresser and turned around.
Zoe opened her drawers and found "pajamas". She didn't wear traditional pajamas, finding them a bit pointless and wore more graphic shirts and tights. She often fell asleep, working so...
She pulled on an oversided Queen shirt that reached her mid-thigh and turned to find Spencer picking up a stuffed alebrije wolf stuffed animal.
"We agreed that I was a wolf and Zarah was an otter." Zoe said and Spencer turned around and his eyes darted down at her outfit and he willed himself not to have creepy thoughts.
“It fits you perfectly. Strong-willed, stubborn, determined, passionate, protective, brave, loyal.” Spencer smiled and he put the stuffed animal back down. “You’re resilient and intuitive that it’s… before I met you, I’d say it was impossible. And… at least I know as long as you’re on my side, it doesn’t matter what the statistics say, I know everything will be all right.”
He turned to find Zoe, suddenly very close to him. He tried to step back but Zoe's table against the wall, stopped him.
"You're so pretty, Spence... have I ever told you that?" She asked, her hand was stroking his hair and he wanted very much to not push her away.
"No. No one has." Spencer said, awkwardly.
Zoe got closer and Spencer could tell, even in this drunken and emotional state of hers, she was waiting for him to push her away but he didn't want to. Then she kissed him, fully on the lips.
He let out a series of awkward squeaks as she kissed him before he melted into it, his brain having short circuited. His IQ was very quickly losing points.
The kiss was both sweet yet messy.
He pulled away, "Zoe, you're drunk."
"Shh..." She shushed him and kissed him and against his usual professionalism, he kissed her back, his desire for her winning in the end.
He pulled back again and she started to move to kiss neck, making him shutter.
"Lo-look, Zoe, as much as I want this to happen, and believe me, that is so, so much." Against his better judgement, he tilted his head back so he could have more access. "I've had plenty of dreams of this, as recently as-as... well, last night, but-but-but..." He cleared his throat and pushed her away from her shoulders, "not like this. This won't be how our stroy starts if it ever does. And if it does, we will both be sober and it will because both of us truly want it."
Zoe nodded, stepping back, blushing in embarrassment and she mumbled, "Sorry..."
"It's okay. You're drunk. You're not thinking straight." He said, "Besides if your dad finds out, he will literally kill me and hide my body."
"Yeah." She agreed and then she drunkenly, smiled, "At least you lost your kiss-ginity."
"Here, let's get you in bed." He said and guided her to her messy bed. He helped her under the covers, and he couldn't help but notice that the sheets on the mattress were special ones for those with overstimulated sensory systems.
She looked at her alarm... shaped like that Tardis...
"It's too late, there's no more trains and it's too dangerous to walk this late." She slurred. "Stay."
Spencer sighed in resignation, "I'll sleep on the couch." He started to get up.
"When the time comes, you'll have a different opinion." Zoe murmured.
"What?"
"When you learn of the things I did or didn't do, you'll change your mind and hate me." Zoe said.
"I promise you I won't." He said but she was half-asleep.
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Spencer awoke to the Doctor Who theme song, playing on the television at a blaring volume and he fell off Zoe's couch, softened by her carpet.
"You okay?" Zoe's voice asked.
Was that coffee he smelled?
He stood up, his usually neat hair messy and he saw a coffee brewing.
"You hate coffee."
"Yeah, but I work with a lot of people who like coffee." She said.
"You're antisocial." He countered in a matter-of-fact tone that rivaled her usual deadpan.
"Zarah likes coffee too." She said.
"How's your head?"
"I've been tortured for a combined time of over a year, I can deal with a hangover headache." She said as she poured the coffee into a Doctor Who mug. She placed it on her island table and poured a bunch of sugar in it, looking at him, sarcastically, making fun of his preference for a lot of sugar.
"That's good." He said, taking the coffee.
"Thank you. For taking care of me." She said.
"Thank you for letting me. I know you could've done fine on your own, but I couldn't just leave you." Spencer said.
"I'm sorry... I was weak."
"Zoe, if anyone deserves the excuse to drink and forget for a night, it's you. You have nothing to apologize for. You are far from weak."
"I hope I didn't do anything too... embarrassing." Zoe said.
"No." Spencer lied, shaking his head. She didn't remember. He knew that it would just embarrass her, and he knew it meant nothing. Besides, he had kind of hoped she hadn't, given he had said some things he didn't want sober Zoe to remember.
Zoe went to the stove and saw her mixing scrambled eggs, "I figured since you're the one going to work, you should have a homemade breakfast for once."
"Oh, that's not necessary." Spencer denied.
"No arguing." She said, "This is huevos a la mexicana, it's scrambled eggs with onion and tomato. I decided not to do peppers. Eat, matchstick man."
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*Edited on October 23, 2024*
#the eccedentiast#david tennant#selena gomez#criminal minds#spencer reid#valentía#zoe noble-valdez#aaron “hotch” hotchner#derek morgan#jennifer jj jareau#Penelope Garcia#A Real Rain#Will Skyes#Marvin Doyle#Schizophrenia#March 2006#New York#Alexander Noble#Criminal Minds Rewrite#Youtube#Lance Wagner
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CM S01E17 "A Real Rain"
No indication of date.
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Original idea from @saintdaily
#rain world#rainworld#rw#iterator#real iterator fm#music#?#this took like 3 hours i am not qualified for this
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Have you seen my little lad?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin zixun#Everytime I have to write his name I feel like I'm running outside in a blood rain trying not to get wet. Misspelling it feels so inevitabl#But so far so good! He doesn't have too many more appearances before he gets Cheesed.#Dear god I love it when characters go on the war path for someone they care about.#And I love it even more when you have an ambiguity between personal debt and genuine act of selflessness.#WWX saving WN is purposefully messy! Like a lot of our real life reasons for how we act - there isn't a clear single cause or answer.#Sometimes we forget that we are a collection of experiences and learnt reactions.#Sometimes we forget that what we see on the surface is not the point to address. Everyone is more complex than we think. Even yourself.#And yet...it always comes back to love doesn't it? Attachment styles and self-esteem and bonds and relationships to others.#Everything comes back to love and our perceptions of it.#WWX is on a self-destructive war path and he will absorb as much damage as he can for those he feels obligated and attached to.#Does it make him feel needed? Does it give him purpose? Does it ease anxieties of the past? I do not think there is an answer.
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I'm reposting elf caffé because I got attached and it needed to be colored
#fanart#im gonna be real annoying here and tag every character#look at my art boy#freiren#thistle#marcille#mithrun#genis#raine#mithos#astarion#shadowheart#minthara#halsin#fenris#merill#solas#sera#zevran#zelda#link#drizzt
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"until the celebration of rebirth is torn to pieces crawling through heaven at night!"
#i think i have commitment issues#i want to be a disembodied thang in the void too#constantly#saint my comfort character real.#sorry for disappearing i have no excuse tbh#rain world#rain world downpour#rainworld art#rainworld saint#AMARA by sasakure UK
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day 15
Moon, I need you to develop arachnophobia or smth pronto and do *any*thing about your damn underhang. I can't handle it
#rw#rain world#rw art month#tw arachnophobia#rw looks to the moon#rw spearmaster#philosophy sessions au#my art#i've done more animatic work with moon than anyone else why the Shit she isn't even on my favorite list or anything#the spiders are actually the reason why pebbles took her water away. real facts here. he had enough n had to let her sail down
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"If an artist falls in love with you, you can never die."
#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler#mike x will#byler endgame#artists on tumblr#stranger things s5#stranger things season 4#byler thoughts#byler rain scene#byler flirting#byler canon#byler nation#byler tumblr#byler is canon#byler theory#byler fanart#byler fanfic#byler is real#byler analysis#byler brainrot#byler s5#st details#stranger things 5#stranger things theory#mike wheeler is not straight#will byers is in love with mike wheeler#mike wheeler is bi#mike wheeler angst
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man criminal minds is just full of these lines that never ever come back. nothing in this scene causes me immense pain in hindsight.
(also: just because it's a little hard to tell from the screencaps and I'm unsure if this is information that's okay to include in Alt Text given that it's context not included in the screencaps—here is the conversation with who says what.
ELLE: You know how many rapists I saw walk during my Sex Crime days? [...] It was enough to make you explode.
JJ: Well, it's a long way from feeling like that and actually committing murder. Don't you think?
HOTCH: Oh, not really.
#for later#foreshadowing#accidental but still#elle greenaway#not fic#criminal minds#criminal minds rewatch#criminal minds s01e17#a real rain#criminal minds 1x17
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dramatic explosion added for comedic effect, laugh now.
sorry if u can't read the text on the first panel, I made this on a whim and didn't put much thought into the colors, here's what she's saying;
"TRIPLE AFFIRMATIVE, TRIPLE AFFIRMATIVE!!!!"
"Hah! April fools! You guys should've seen the looks on your faces!"
then she fucking explodes
#my art#rain world#fanart#meme#shitpost#rw shitpost#rw iterator#rw sos#sliver of straw#april fools#fuck the easter bunny#april fools day for the win its the only REAL holiday hallelujah#rw nsh#rw fp#rw lttm#rw bsm#rw srs#too lazy to put all the tags for iters
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Derek Morgan: With no discernible victim patterns, the killer’s practically impossible to stop.
Dr. Spencer Reid: Did you know the original Zodiac Killer actually continually changed his victims. Young, old, men, women, white, black.
Jason Gideon: Exactly. And he killed for thirty years without ever being caught.
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HAVE AT YOU, MY LARGEST SHITPOST YET (I started this 2 months ago god help me)
YT VERSION
#trashy art#downpour spoilers#rw downpour#rain world#rain world downpour#rw#gourmand#saint#spearmaster#rivulet#hunter#monk#inv#enot#artificer#scottish arti real#shitpost#animation#video#animatic#nightcat#everyone but survivor is here smh
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It's taken a while to fully clarify my thoughts on this, and work up the courage to talk about it, but the recent Pansear screenshots are almost certainly fake.
Other people have pointed out a number of problems with them, better than I probably can:
Only two users are ever shown at a time
Things are censored very strangely
Pansear's timestamp in the "feral nsfw" image lines up with Emily's, not their own
The two censored users in that same screenshot also have perfectly aligned timestamps
No actual IDs are shown
0303emily has a default discord pfp
One of the censored profile pictures isn't fully covered, and is the exact same color
All of which add up to a scenario that could be very, very easily faked, with either two people or one person with two accounts. You don't even need to change your whole profile to do this, since there are per-server profiles.
But also I have been told in confidence, by someone I know and trust, someone more familiar with everyone involved than I am, that:
They occasionally see 0303emily around still
That isn't her
(Addendum: supporting evidence that they're not in contact)
It's possible there's some other horrible thing about Pansear that I haven't seen yet. But this? The thing they deleted their accounts over? It's not real. I know their disappearance looked like an admission of guilt at first. It did to me, too. But unless something else comes out, everything points to it being fabricated.
Azriel and company seem to have received it, already censored, from a third party. I think they believe it to be true. But there are people who would gladly fake evidence against Pansear, and as we've established, it really wouldn't be difficult.
#rain world#pansear#pansear-doodles#pansear doodles#i'm sorry to do this#might get harassed for it#but it really really doesn't seem to be real slugchat
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