#and that i call and get SAM specifically because thats who fucking did that to me and if im lucky enough that HES in when i call
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
timeisacephalopod · 1 year ago
Text
My job has been dry humping my last nerve and I have an interview for a mobility aide place job that seems like it could be a good fit and at least moderately more "adult" than my current job and also hopefully free of bullshit management. Since the management in my job now is... well, something FUCKING else
4 notes · View notes
starry-bi-sky · 1 year ago
Text
#second: op you answered so many questions!!? thank you!! but that is a dangerous game bc now i have /more/ >:)
I will answer as many as I can!!! this is making me literally so happy lmao. And as I said before: if i don't have an answer to one, I'll mention it. (a lot of these are great because I can meditate on the answer and it lets me expand on the au more)
#aaah there is SO much heartache all around in this au!!#how you described the grief danny was feeling before he died - how dying with those emotions means he'll never be free of them? my heart </#just hit again with w how SAD dannys ghost form is in this au - and how will jason respond once he sees it?
I SAW THIS BEFORE I WENT INTO WORK AND MMMM. It made me think so much about my thoughts on how I wanted to expand a little more on his ghost form, and I just thought about adding how his Lichtenberg scars like, converge where his heart is. His left arm has the scarring. And then when you look at where his heart is, there's scarring over it, as if there's a hole there and his heart is missing. His grief has carried onto the afterlife, why not incorporate that into his ghost self more? Raaaa I want it to look like he's perpetually crying under his evil scientist goggles. (post-post addition: i drew it :))
Have you ever listened to 'The Moon Will Sing' from The Crane Wives? That's Danny with his grief over Jason. "The moon will sing a song for me/I loved you like the sun/bore the shadows that you made/with no light of my own/I shine only with the light you gave me"
I don't even know if I need to expand on his grief because we already know how it gets in canon. It's this heavy, destructive thing that hits hard and lasts long. Losing your entire family is different from losing a single person, but if that single person was part of a separate, two person family, then what difference does that make?
#and does he ever see danny fight - not as a scrappy street kid anymore but now trained and experienced! does he learn HE trained danny?
eventually! I can't think of an occasion (yet) where Jason would see Danny fight, but that can totally come later. Maybe if I get possessed again I'll write something. I've had a few ideas about how Danny reveals his ghost form but all of them verge more into the 'cracky, can really only be expanded on in dms cuz they don't follow the theme of the au' territory, and didn't feel satisfactory to the au.
#how would he feel after that declaration of dannys to kill joker? i'd be like wth did i tell him??? and why cant i remember!#poor jason already sweating bullets at the idea of admitting he's still alive after all this time - he has no idea where they even stand no#danny talked to his ghost? his actual ghost? how much does danny know? does he know he was robin? does he know he's HOOD? or about his mom?#there's so much he's wanted to tell danny - how much would he have said as a ghost with apparently nothing else to lose?
YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY IT. Jason watches Danny leave and he's trying to just. Process everything. From seeing his best friend in front of him, to remembering that Danny doesn't know he's Red Hood, to realizing that Danny has been grieving him for the last five years and that he was still grieving. And then Danny tells him that he talked to his ghost? And that he's gonna murder the Joker? Jason is just. He's processing. Your tags capture exactly that: his questions about what does Danny know?
#also: if danny is 19 - jason is 19/20 right? so tbh this is probably not long after his frankly suicidal murder rampage through gotham#so what - admit to danny thats... a lot to admit to
yeah I'll be totally frank I don't know enough about Jason during his Red Hood era to give much of a response to this. I only had a little idea that he even went on a rampage tbh 😅 but now knowing that he went on a murder rampage? Yeah he'd be even less inclined to tell Danny about him. Ignorance is bliss and all that -- even if Danny's ignorance to him being alive is causing him more harm than good. (Jason still doesn't even know that Danny's been searching for him yet).
#and i can kind of get why he might have kept fenton stuff from bruce. either the dr fentons are fine & good or theyre not#either admittance to bruce might feel like betrayel - esp if danny has never said in clear words : i want out of this family#and he must have known them at least a little. shared a small meal at their place? listened to a crazy speech? he might be defensive of the(m)
Oh yeah totally! If Danny hasn't invited Jason over at least once, then his parents have whenever they see him hanging out with Jason. And that brings up one of Jackdaw's tags -- that Danny knows not to touch his parents inventions. And I think even Jason knows that. He remembers whenever Danny's parents talked about repairing the toaster or the fridge, or making an invention with parts laying around the house, that Danny would always immediately drag Jason off to the other room. "I hate it when they do this." He'd complain, "their things are a safety hazard."
And then later he complains to Jason about how whatever invention his parents made or whatever thing they fixed blew up and set off their shit fire alarm and they had to evacuate the building. "I told you it was a safety hazard." He says, and then steals the cigarette from Jason's hands.
Jason knows that Danny wouldn't touch his parents things with a three hundred foot pole. Just imagine how he'd react to finding out that Danny willingly walked into his parents' broken, unstable portal with nothing but a hazmat suit only a week after his funeral :)
Post-posting addition: raaaa even better if Danny even tells Jason about their new lab basement after they move to the new house and Danny routinely mentions that he avoids going in there as much as possible because he doesn’t want to be around whatever half-baked safety hazard his parents have cooked up in case it explodes on him. Him not taking Sam and Tucker in there until after the funeral when the portal finishes.
#back to jason hearing the ghost talk: it was one thing to feel guilty about keeping away from danny who loved him -#but now after avoiding danny and amity he's faced with the proof that he's missed out on x amount of time w danny too#how much has changed in their time apart
I have nothing I can say about this other than I love it and the line "it was one thing to feel guilty about keeping away from Danny who loved him" because RA its so good, because Danny DOES love him. And not even romantically yet because platonic love ftw. Jason was part of Danny's family and all but his other half. His partner in crime. And YEAH Jason's missed out on so much, when he starts looking into Amity Park he's really going to see how much.
#one last thing: that danny avoided gotham bc he wants to kill joker but if he starts could he stop? makes me wonder... what changed?#was it really just a coincidence with vlad? or is he hoping to find jason's ghost in gotham?#or is he giving up again but this time he'll be sure to take out the clown with him?#bc telling THE RED HOOD his threat on the joker? yeah that feels like a challenge. a promise. like he's being too loose with his life again#and if he was afraid of turning into rath for all these years - a different name sure- but how did all that happen in this au?#same as canon? or was it jason related? both?? bc im p sure that happened roughly 6 months after portal incident too..... ;)
exhibit a of why i love these questions because it pushes me to expand my thinking of the au and in turn expand the au itself because when I was writing this initially I really didn't expect to think too hard on it. i mentioned in my first response that vlad's 'blackmailing' was just me coming up with an excuse to get Danny into Gotham unwillingly. I was possessed by the brainrot gods and spent four hours writing the initial post like a Man Possessed. And now we're here and I love it.
I need to sit on this answer, because I wasn't thinking about changing much about how TUE could differ from canon. But this is making me think SO much. I will totally try and get back to you on this after I mull it over. As well as Danny telling the Red Hood about going to kill the Joker and the Vlad thing. But in the meantime feel free to rant more because I love it and it gives me brainrot <3
Childhood Friends Danny and Jason
(cw underage smoking / smoking as a form of bonding) (cw Jason thinking Danny killed himself but its only for a moment) (cw depictions of murderous intent? Danny wants to murder the Joker and he's a little descriptive about it
This is… aha. Massive. Word count check: 9k+
this has probably been done before but hey, everyone loves a good trope and I wanted to share my take on this idea. 👏👏 So, Danny Fenton and Jason Todd being childhood friends. The Fentons lived in Crime Alley for a good long while during Danny's childhood. Nobody wanted to fund their research and Jack and Maddie struggled to keep any form of work for a multitude of reasons. Jack worked in construction due to his big build and Maddie had another job elsewhere.
Danny and Jason were friends during that time, really great friends. I'm not super solid on how they met yet but I do know it involves Danny committing petty crime and Jason deciding to jump in and help when he sees Danny struggling. Danny was distrustful (as all crime alley kids ought to be) but they eventually became thick as thieves, committing petty crime together.
While it's all too easy to make Danny the weaker one of the two with Jason protecting him, I actually really like the idea that they protected each other. Growing up (essentially) on the streets means Danny forcibly had to grow a backbone unless he wanted to get trampled all over. He is just as willing to scuffle with the bigger kids as Jason is, and he and Jason regularly fought each other whenever they needed to let off steam, or just because. They were a duo, having each other's backs in tough situations.
(Sometimes the pair of them would sneak out at night and try and get a glimpse of Batman and Robin while they soared through the air. It was like a game between the two of them to see who could spot the dynamic duo first. When they were a little older, Jason would steal his dad's cigarettes and share them with Danny while they searched for Batman and Robin)
So when Danny has to move away when they're eleven years old, it's pretty safe to say that Jason didn't speak to him for a week afterwards. Nothing Danny did could persuade him to otherwise, even when Danny insisted that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't want to move away either, but he didn't have a choice in the matter.
When the week was over, Jason climbed through Danny's window and sat in his room, dead silent and looking upset. he didn't speak until Danny fished out a stolen pack of cigarettes from his bed and handed one to Jason.
(It was a ritual they had where if one of them was upset about something but wasn't saying anything, the other one could then hand them a cigarette -- whether it be the one they were using or a new one -- and that would be an open invitation for the person to vent. The other one who handed him the cigarette wouldn't speak until the venter handed back the cigarette. Then back and forth it would go until the cigarette was gone.)
Jason ranted about how pissed he was about Danny moving, and they promised to try and stay in touch after he leaves. Neither of them had phones, but Danny was determined to send him a letters.
Danny moves to Amity Park and it's... an adjustment, that's for sure. He's angry, grumpy, upset, and every other negative feeling under the sun. He was going to a new middle school with new people he didn't know, away from all of the people he did know and away from his best friend.
(He does however keep his word about sending letters, and mails one out to Jason at the first opportunity.)
He refuses to get along with anyone, butts heads with the teachers, is combative, rude, and openly smokes in class -- which gets him plenty of detentions and a bad reputation. He speaks in a thick Gotham street accent and wears hand-me-down clothes that are too big and baggy on him. (His parents have yet to replace any of their wardrobes as they settle into their new life, and Danny is hesitant to spend the money to get new clothes.)
He only manages to befriend Sam and Tucker because one of the football kids was bullying Tucker and Danny stepped in. It was some blond jerk named Dash and when Dash threw the first punch, Danny broke his nose. Tucker found him later that day and reluctantly thanked him for his help.
Sam and Danny do not get along for the longest time. Sam questions Danny about his upbringing, his accent, his smoking. She judges him for talking back to the teachers despite doing it herself and for ruining his lungs with cigarettes. Danny tells her to fuck off, and when she tries to judge him and Tucker for not being vegetarian, he calls her a privileged brat.
Sam doesn't even look at him for two weeks after, and Danny refuses to apologize. Tucker is caught between a rock and a hard place as his old friend and new friend are feuding with each other.
They... sort it out eventually.
Danny and Jason send each other letters near religiously. Danny complains about Amity Park, and Jason complains about how Crime Alley isn't the same without him. Danny talks about the school and what he's learned, about Sam and Tucker, and how he's been getting into the astronomy books in the library. He steals Jason a book and sends it to him.
When Jason tells Danny that he was adopted by Bruce Wayne, Danny calls bullshit. There's no fucking way Bruce Wayne would even look at Crime Alley, regardless of his charity efforts towards it. But when he checks Gotham news later that week, he's hit in the face with every single news article announcing Bruce Wayne's newest ward; Jason Todd.
Cue freaking out. Jason talks all about living in Wayne Manor and what it's like there. He says that there's a monster library in a part of the house that Bruce says he has free reign over, and that Jason can have anything to eat as long as he asks Alfred to make it and it isn't a desert, and that he has his own monster-sized room that he got to pick out himself and decorate.
(When they both get phones, the first thing either of them do is add each other's numbers.)
When Sam complains about having to go to a Wayne Gala that her parents are dragging her to one weekend, the first thing Danny asks is if he can go with. It surprises Sam and Tucker; Danny was the last person they would have thought wanted to go with. HE hates the rich even more than Sam does. Danny stands firm in his decision, and refuses to elaborate.
"Besides." He says to Sam, with whom he's begun to get along with via 'the enemy of my enemy is a friend'. "Would you rather go alone or with someone you can tolerate?"
She brings him with and convinces her parents to allow Danny to come along, citing that she'll be on her best behavior if they do. They agree, and buy Danny a suit when he says that he doesn't have one of his own.
(He discovers that he hates wearing suit jackets and ties, but vests he doesn't mind. He doesn't like that he has to comb his hair back, but he does to make Sam's parents happy. They give him a crash course in etiquette that Danny's going to forget the next day, and soon enough off they go in a private jet to Gotham)
(he does not tell Jason he's coming.)
he feels mischievous and nervous as they touch down, his stomach swirling as Sam's parents usher them to a high-profile hotel that Danny's only ever dreamed about going into. He feels largely out of place as they walk through the lobby, and falls back on old habits: square shoulders, set jaw, make yourself look like the biggest person in the room.
They get ready in the hotel room, Sam's parents primp and preen for the night incoming, and Sam is dragged into it by her mother. Danny does only what's required of him, and fiddles with the sleeves of his fresh-ironed button-down that's been tailored to his body. He's itching for a cigarette, and didn't bring any with.
Sam's dad helps him with his tie, a bout of kindness that Danny doesn't think is one. Just obligation to prevent Danny from looking like a mess. Sam pesters him again about wanting to come, and his reasons for it, and Danny keeps mum.
He's stone-faced with anxiety as they get closer to the gala, and before they leave the limousine the Mansons rented Sam links arms with him. A form of solidarity that Danny needs as he squeezes their arms together and smiles weakly at her.
The paparazzi are loud, bright, and demanding, shouting questions over questions at them like overlapping tidal waves. Danny ignores them all and focuses on the front doors instead. Sam's parents whisper at the stairs that they are to greet the Waynes first, and Danny's heart leaps to his throat.
His heart is in his ears as they drift closer, Mister Wayne is preoccupied with another rich couple, smiling that charming billionaire smile that Danny saw on every billboard in Gotham, and then some in Amity Park. Getting so close to him feels unreal.
And there by his side is the one and only Jason Todd, who isn't even trying to hide the bored look on his face as he watches Bruce interact with the other adults. He's gotten taller in the year they've been away, and healthier. His hair looks like its been cut professionally and he doesn't look as street kid skinny.
Danny's arm, hooked with Sam's, tightens up, and he resists the urge to rush forward and hug Jason. He watches Jason's eyes sweep left, away from him, and then right, towards him. The air stills for a moment as their eyes lock.
Danny grins toothily at him, lopsided and playful in nature, and sees the moment Jason processes the sight before him. His arm starts slipping out of Sam's at the same time as an ecstatic smile stretches across Jason's face.
His lopsided grin fills out on the other end. "DANNY!" Jason yells, cutting off whatever Bruce Wayne and startling everyone within earshot. There's barely a moment for Bruce to look down when Jason shoves past him and runs at Danny.
Danny yanks his arm out of Sam's, "JASON!" He yells with just as much enthusiasm, and Jason nearly topples them right over when he collides with Danny. His arms wrap around Danny's shoulders, holding onto him tightly, and they're both laughing, spinning around like tops out of joy.
"You didn't tell me you were coming!" Jason cries, sounding accusing. Danny hugs him just as tightly, and laughs when Jason pulls away momentarily to punch his shoulder.
"I wanted it to be a surprise!" He defends, laughing between words as their spinning comes to a stop. They're both reluctant to pull apart, but they do and clutch the sleeves of their elbows tightly. "How could my best friend be adopted by the Bruce Wayne and have me not come confirm it with my own two eyes?"
"I sent you newspaper clippings!" Jason says, narrowing his eyes while his smile betrays his face. Danny quietly notices that his Gotham street accent is faded slightly.
"Oh that's what it was?" Danny's grin turns again, edging into a smirk. He feigns innocence, "I thought that was fire kindling." He has the newspaper clippings hung on the corkboard in his room, proud beyond words about his best friend.
Jason punches him in the shoulder again, hard enough to leave a bruise. "You jackass." He says, ignoring Danny's laughter even when he's holding back his own.
There's a soft, sharp clearing of someone's throat, breaking their attentions away from each other to the one that made the noise.
Bruce Wayne was a tall man, taller than Danny expected, and he looks exactly like his billboards. If less promiscuous than his perfume ads. Danny expects him to be upset with them both for disrupting his pretty rich gala, but instead he just looks gently amused, with an arched eyebrow. Overall though, he just looks fond.
Danny would be the first to admit that Bruce had taken in Jason as a charity case, something to fill the void after his other kid Dick Grayson finally moved out. But Danny’s a good judge of character — or he likes to assume he is — and those are not the eyes of a man who would take Jason in as a charity case. Those are the eyes of a man who actually, genuinely, cares about one Jason Todd.
The wriggly protective thing settles in his chest.
He doesn’t let go of Jason, but he does twist his smile into something a little more polite. Mister Wayne’s eyebrow arches higher, and he turns his blue-blue eyes onto Jason. “Who’s this, Jason?” He has that fancy Gotham Elite accent -- something that sounds like a mix between old transatlantic and faintly British -- that Danny's only heard in passing when he and Jason snuck up to the nicer parts of Gotham.
Jason stares at Mister Wayne, his grip on Danny tightens as his eyes flick to the other onlookers in the room. “This is Danny, B.” He says once his eyes turn back to Mister Wayne. “We grew up in Crime Alley together, he moved to Illinois last year."
Danny can see the uncomfortable expressions cross every rich person's face, murmurs sweeping across the room as soon their uncomfortable gazes turned judgmental and flinty. He's kept track of the tabloids after Jason's adoption, the ones calling him a charity case and looking down on him for being a street kid.
He inches a little closer to Jason, straightening up instinctively, as if they were back in Crime Alley and facing a pack of kids that didn't like them. He can see Sam's surprised expression from the corner of his eye -- he never told Tucker or Sam about where he grew up, although he's sure they had their suspicions.
He looks back to Mister Wayne and meets his blue-blue eyes, his smile has slowly begun to fade. Mister Wayne doesn't miss a beat however, and his smile stays plastered to his face. If anything, it gets a little softer, a little wider. "It's nice to meet you Danny -- Daniel? I'm so glad that Jason has a friend here." He holds out a hand.
Danny eyes him unsurely, and then takes his hand. "It's jus' Danny, Mister Wayne." He says, some of his old accent slipping through as he shook his hand firmly. He would have done it harder, but this was Jason's new guardian, and from Jason's letters he didn't sound too bad. "It's, uh, nice to meet you too. Jason's told me lots about you."
Mister Wayne's brows jump momentarily, he looks intrigued. He looks between Danny and Jason, and claps his hands together softly. "Well, Jay, how would you like to stay with Danny for a while, hm? I'm sure you too have a lot to catch up on."
Hope simmers in Danny's heart, and he glances to Jason to see that same hope on his face. "Really?" He asks, and Mister Wayne nods with a laugh.
"Of course! How could I keep two friends apart? Go on ahead, chum. I'll come get you when the gala ends."
And just like that, Bruce Wayne leaves Jason with Danny, diving back into a conversation with one of the rich gothamites and taking the attention with it as if he were the sun and everyone else a planet orbiting him.
Danny and Jason share grins, and throw their arms around each other with laughter. Danny is on cloud nine, pressing his nose into Jason's shoulder and breathing him in, fingers digging into the back of his suit hard enough to leave wrinkles in his jacket.
Sam demands answers when they finally, for real this time, pull apart. Why didn't he tell her that he was friends with Jason Todd!? Danny slings his arm around Jason's shoulders and keeps him close, and tells her that it was because he wanted it to be a surprise.
Sam's parents have unreadable expressions on their faces, part greed -- Danny is their in to the elusive Bruce Wayne -- and part disdain -- a Gotham street rat. Danny ignores them, they're unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
He introduces Sam to Jason, and Jason to Sam. And off they go to a corner of the room near the buffet table where they can eat and shit talk everyone else in the room in peace.
At some point in the night Sam is called back to her parents to meet some other fancy rich kids her parents want her to get along with, and Danny and Jason go off to the west end balcony to avoid anyone who may try and approach the new Gotham ward.
Danny hops up onto the balcony railing, kicking his feet as Jason pulls a cigarette pack out of his inner jacket pocket, and grins. "Don't tell Bruce," he says, handing the box to Danny first. "He's been trying to get me to quit."
"Hah!" Danny takes one just as Jason slips out a lighter. "That sounds like Jazz. She's been trying to get me to stop since we moved to Amity." Granted, she's been trying ever since she found out before they moved, but now she was even more insistent. "She hasn't found my stash yet."
At the end of the night when the Mansons are leaving and Danny has to leave with them, he walks back to Mister Wayne with Jason to tell him that he's leaving. Mister Wayne mourns his going, and tells him that he's always able to come visit.
"Any friend of Jason's is always welcome to the manor." He says with a blinding grin, pulling Jason close to his side and squeezing him tight. Jason's nose scrunches up, but he doesn't push away.
It becomes a new routine for them. The Mansons are all too happy to bring him with to the Wayne Galas (of which they start receiving more invites to due to their connection with Danny) and Danny is all too happy to spend the evening with Jason again. No matter what, they always end up on the balcony at some point in the night.
And, eventually, Danny is invited to stay at Wayne Manor either for a weekend or for a break. He jumps at the chance when winter break rolls around and his parents start their debate over Santa Claus again.
Danny and Jason stay up late into the night talking or playing video games during their sleepovers, and in the warmer nights they climb out and onto the roof to stargaze. Danny points out constellations - - things he can find in neither Gotham or Amity -- and rambles on and on about space.
There are plenty of times during the Wayne Galas that the event gets attacked by a rogue. More often than he'd like he loses Jason in the crowd, and has later stopped Robin or Batman in his panic to find him.
The first time it happened, he was in tears with terror. He grabbed onto Batman's cape, stopping the man from going back in as he babbled that his Jason Todd was still inside, that he disappeared during the chaos and he couldn't find him. Batman took his hands and calmly told him that he'd find Jason for him, and that he was sure he was okay, but he needed to calm down.
He found Jason later once everything had calmed down, and he screamed at him for disappearing during a rogue attack, if he ever did it again he'll kill him. Then he cried.
The second time it happened, Danny didn't even realize that Jason was gone until everything was already over. They'd been separated before the attack happened. He stopped Robin and Batman before they could leave, trying to keep his breathing under control as he asked again, if they had seen Jason Todd.
"That- that asshole keeps fucking ditching me when these things happen." His voice has an embarrassing wobble in it. "Please-- please tell me you've seen him, that he's alright."
Robin this time steps up to reassure him, that Jason Todd was out of the building. He got him out. "He's probably looking for you too, uhhh..."
"Danny" Danny says, and eyes him up and down. "You're the new Robin right?"
Robin stilled up, and Danny could understand it a little. He'd seen the thoughts on the new Robin online. He wasn't very popular at first. Robin nods curtly, and Batman was shuffled a little closer to him, almost protectively.
Danny grins at him. "Cool." He says, "Me and Jay used to sneak out onto the rooftops sometimes to try and spot Batman and the first Robin, we made it a game." He holds out a fistbump, "Thanks for doing what you do, man. I might not live in Gotham anymore, but I mean it. You're a living legend."
Robin looks like there's something stuck in his throat, and after a beat he returns the fistbump tentatively. "Th- uh, thanks." He stumbles out awkwardly, and then turns away, "Me and B- uh, better go."
Before Danny could even respond, Robin already had his grapple in hand and was grappling away. "You too, Batman." Danny says before Batman can follow.
When Danny sees Jason after that, and weight lifts off his chest and he hits him in the arm again. And then complains that he should have gotten Batman and Robin's autograph, it would have been epic.
By the fifth time it happens, Danny is cussing up a storm when Robin saves him, cursing out Jason and claiming that he needs to put that boy on a fucking leash. "We're a duo!" He scowls when Robin gets him outside, "I got his back, he has mine! I can't have his back when he's got no back to fucking have."
The eighth time it happens, Danny gets held hostage by one of the henchmen. He's become a recognizable friend of the Waynes, and when the Waynes are nowhere to be found, then the next best thing was up to offer. Danny isn't even mad this time around -- just relieved that Jason was fucking off somewhere where he couldn't get hurt.
Robin, however, seemed furious when he arrived, and broke the hostager's jaw with a single flying kick to the face. Jason found him rapidly quick soon after the situation had settled, and apologized over and over again.
Danny slings an arm around his shoulder and laughs that it was fine, Robin saved the day! His legs were shaking with the worn off adrenaline, something he tried to hide from Jason. "I'm just glad it was me instead of you, Jay." He grins. Jason looks like he swallowed a toad.
Jason stops disappearing as often after that, sticking close to Danny's side until the attack was over.
When Danny is fourteen, Jason dies, and his world unravels.
He calls the manor on a late night in April after Jason had stopped responding to his texts. Danny knew that Jason was just recently in a fight with Bruce, but he knows that Bruce loves Jason. He would know where he is, right?
When he calls, Bruce answers with a hoarse "hello?" as if he'd been crying all day, and Danny's blood turns to ice. The anxiety he'd been feeling beforehand doubles in size, and he feels himself stammering.
"Mister- uh- Mister Wayne? Um, I'm calling because Jason--" he hears Bruce inhale sharply on the other line, and his anxiety skyrockets into fear. "--hasn't been answering any of my texts and- and I'm gettin' real worried."
There's silence on the other end, and Danny feels a rock forming in his throat, gross and heavy like he was on the verge of throwing up. "Mister- Bruce? Mister B?"
There's a shaky breath, and then Bruce's voice crackles through the phone. "Um-- Jason, he, he's--" there's a sound like rustling, "he's been killed."
Danny's vision whites out with skyrocketing terror, his mind skidding to a stop. His body rapidly grows hot, and then chills, like a blacksmith striking a heated weapon. "What?"
When the phone call ends, Danny screams himself hoarse. Jazz and his parents come running into his room, his parents equipped with ghost weapons. Instead, they find Danny curled up in his bed, sobbing hoarsely.
Danny almost -- almost -- refuses to attend the funeral, nearly paralyzed with grief. Jazz coaxes him to go, to find closure if anything else, and he drags himself out of bed to go.
He feels numb the entire time. It's closed casket, so he can't even see him for one last time before Jason is buried in the ground. He's silent, and if he think he looks bad, then Bruce looks even worse, like he hadn't slept since Jason died and worse.
Danny grabs his sleeve before he leaves, and when Bruce turns to him with a dull look in his once vibrant eyes, he clings to him tightly. And cries. Bruce clings back just as tight, Danny feels tears drip into his hair.
"Who did it." Danny whispers, voice too hurt to speak any louder, when he pulls back. His fingers curl around Bruce's jacket tightly, desperately. His eyes hurt with tears. "You said he was murdered, B. Please, who did it."
Bruce looks down at him, and for the first time it really does feel like he's looking down at him. His face is blank, and his eyes close in grief. There is no answer, a silent no.
Danny's face twists up all ugly like, and he shakes Bruce's jacket. "Bruce, please. Tell me who did it."
Bruce refuses, his face full of grief.
Danny never returns to Gotham.
Prior to Jason's death and post their reunion, Danny had slowly begun to improve in school. He started caring more, he was putting in more effort, he was doing his homework and was actually enjoying class. There was the bullying from Dash and the A-Listers, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, he was ignoring them for the most part.
Come Monday after the funeral, and Danny breaks Dash's nose when he starts up with his shit. He withdrew into himself, and it was like he was back to square one again, except this time it was much worse.
Everyone knew Danny was close friends with Jason Todd. So when news of his death finally reached the ears of Amity Park, the students of Casper High School kept their distance.
That following Friday, Danny dies in the portal and comes back. A month later he becomes Phantom, the ghost-fighting ghost. the ghost Phantom wears his hazmat suit partially undone, showing a tanktop he didn't wear in death under the initial suit while the sleeves are tied around his waist. Vicious, glowing lichtenburg scars travel up his arm and neck and torso, covering half of his face while a pair of scientist-like goggles covers his eyes. He's bitter and angry, showing off his death.
Look at me, Phantom's form says, I am a dead child. Look at me look at me look at me. Mourn me. I am a dead child. LOOK AT ME. MOURN ME.
A few weeks later he enters the ghost zone and realizes that he could find Jason. And he spends a weekend scouring the ghost zone for him. He finds Gotham in the zone, and rather than finding Jason, he finds Robin.
Danny didn't know he'd died. And he flies towards him, asks him if he's seen Jason, reveals that it's him, Danny Fenton. Robin stares at him, mouth agape, and peels off his mask to reveal Jason Todd.
They both cry, and when Danny tells him how he died, Jason looks pale in the face. "You didn't- you didn't kill yourself because of me, did you?"
Danny fervently denies it. No, no. He didn't, he didn't. It was an accident. Totally unrelated. But enough about that, what the hell happened? Bruce wouldn't tell him anything at the funeral.
Jason clams up, his ghostly face losing its color, and Danny curses himself. He tells Jason that he doesn't have to tell him, he doesn't have to say anything. They sit in silence.
"It was the Joker." Jason says.
That's all Danny needs to know. He nods quietly. 'I'll kill him.' He thinks to himself, a stubborn set in his jaw. "Okay."
It had always been a plan; a thought wriggling in the back of Danny's mind ever since Bruce told him that Jason had been killed.
Not died. Killed.
Danny wanted the fucker dead the moment he realized it. He just needed to know who did it. He thinks Bruce knew it too, could probably see it in his eyes the moment Danny asked him who did it. He isn't sure if he should hate Bruce more for keeping it from him now.
They spend hours together, just soaking in each other's presence. Danny tries to take him through the ghost portal, to bring him back to the land of the living. But much like Kitty, Jason's form is tied to the zone. Danny promises to visit every day.
And he does. Or he tries to. The grief doesn't go away, but with the comfort of knowing that Jason was on the other side, Danny feels a little better. He tells Jason about being Phantom, and Jason helps train him. It feels like they're kids again and are fighting just because they want to. Its a bout of familiarity in a place that feels unfamiliar. All they need are cigarettes.
And then six months later he loses him again. Danny scours the ghost zone for him for the second time, and this time he doesn't find him.
His haunt is still in the zone though. He didn't move on. He's still here, somewhere.
Danny is convinced that Jason was in the Elsewhereness, and looks for him in between ghost fights and his social life. He visits Jason's haunt every day, knowing that Jason should be able to feel when another ghost enters his home. He does not show up.
(He never thinks that Jason came back to life, and Jason doesn't remember his time in the ghost zone)
When Danny is nineteen, Vlad Masters blackmails him into going to another Wayne Gala. Begrudgingly, Danny goes. He's taller than he used to be, having inherited his dad's monstrous height and his mom's leanness. He has piercings, some of them he got after a lost bet from Sam and Tucker, and he's given himself an undercut.
He still prefers vests over suit jackets, and he still smokes. A little less than before, he sneaks a pack into his pocket before he leaves, along with a lighter. Vlad gives him a dirty look the whole time - he knows.
"Don't give me that look." "That stuff kills, you know" "I'm already dead."
It's like deja vu when he arrives; an awful bout of deja vu, that is. The paparazzi is still as bright and loud and annoying as it always was, and they don't recognize him at all. Something he thinks of as a soft mercy up until one of the reporters asks Vlad who he is.
Vlad smiles and tugs Danny into the camera frame, "Why, this is my godson!" He crows, and shoots Danny a look that is downright smug I'm sure many of you may know him as Daniel Fenton?"
If looks could kill, Vlad would be ash. Danny isn't quite sure why he still agreed to this -- blackmail or no. He felt itchy being in Gotham; jumpy. He's never forgotten his vow to kill the Joker, in fact it was something he still desperately wants.
But the threat of Rath, the name he chose for his evil future self, haunts him just as much as his murderous intent. If he kills the Joker, would he stop?
Danny's almost afraid of what he'll do if he ever lays eyes on the Joker in person. He doesn't think he'll be able to stop himself from wrapping his hands around that stupid clown's neck and watching the light leave his eyes.
He pushes the thoughts to the side, and smiles lopsidedly as cameras and microphones flood his face, reporters yelling over themselves as they clamor to get a shot of the old Wayne family friend.
Danny turns and walks inside without answering a single question, flexing his fingers in and out of fists. Vlad gracefully hurries after him, and Danny can hear his glare burning into his back.
"You told me to come," Danny hisses to him once he's beside him, meeting Vlad's gaze piercingly, "not that I should play nice."
"Don't embarrass me, Daniel." Vlad hisses back, trying to look the upmost calm as eyes turn onto them. "I'll make you regret it."
"You embarrass yourself, fruitloop." Danny shoots back, walking away before Vlad could get a retort in. He sees Bruce Wayne on the other side of the room.
His heart seizes with nostalgia. He hasn't seen Bruce since Jason's funeral, hasn't spoken to him either. He doesn't know how to feel about him, but he'd been keeping tabs on Bruce both as himself and as Batman.
Danny's feet carry him forwards before he can think about it, silently weaving between the throng of rich people vying for his attention. It's only when he gets closer does he see the little shadow clinging to his side: Damian Wayne.
The newest little bird, Danny realizes, and stifles a smile at the surly expression on Damian's face as two older women coo over him. He reminded him of Sam, who had long since stopped coming to these things the moment she was able to.
The feeling of eyes on him turns Danny's attention away from Damian, and instead finds them back on Bruce's, who stares at him with a little furrow between his brows. As if he recognized him, but he wasn't sure from there.
Danny grins crookedly the moment he's within earshot. "Mister B!" He exclaims, slipping into what remained of his Gotham street accent. Recognition flashed in Bruce's eyes, and the man smiled widely. "Long time no see, old man."
"Danny," Bruce says, his name breathing out like relief. He slips between the crowd surrounding him -- who are now watching Danny -- and pulls Danny into a close hug. "It's good to see you again."
Danny hesitates for a moment -- he wasn't expecting Bruce to hug him -- and returns the gesture. "It's good to see you too, Bruce." He admits. Bruce was still using the same cologne that he did when Danny was a kid. He blinks heavily.
He pulls away quickly, clapping Bruce lightly on the shoulder as Damian quickly latches onto his father's side again. Damian glares daggers at him, fingers digging into Bruce's pantlegs like a possessive little kid.
He made Danny's ghost sense tingle in the back of his throat, creeping up slowly like a spider before stopping suddenly before it reached his mouth. It hummed, and then disappeared.
Danny smothered a frown. Since when did Batman work with ectoplasm? “This must be Damian." He says to Bruce, and holds out a hand to Damian -- he doesn't crouch, he had a feeling that Damian would be less than appreciative if he did that. "You've really expanded the nest since the last time I saw you."
Damian's eyes narrow at him. Bruce laughs lightly, "Ah yes, Tim is around here somewhere. I'm sure you'll see him soon."
"Father," Damian says, his voice layered with an accent. He glares up at Danny with piercing green eyes. "How do you know this man?" He sounds distrustful, Danny respects that and drops his hand.
"This is Danny Fenton." Bruce says, and Danny lets him introduce him. "He was Jason's friend."
An expression similar to bewilderment flashes briefly over Damian's face, and he eyes Danny in disbelief. "Todd had friends?"
Oh. So that's how he wanted to be. Bruce had a little elitist on his hands. Danny's smile drops like a deadweight, and any lingering endearment he had hardens like ice in his chest, fury slowly taking its place like a flickering candlelight. "It's not polite to speak ill of the dead, Mister Wayne." He says coldly, his voice made of chips of ice.
Damian blinks, the disbelief disappearing from his face. The closest thing to a recoil Danny thinks he's going to get. He doesn't care. No one speaks about his best friend that way.
"I grew up with Jason, actually." He continues, breathing in slow and deep, trying to keep the ghostly possessive-protective-rage under control. "I was his best friend."
He turns, almost robotically, towards Bruce, and tries not to look so angry. "I'm going to go find Tim, Mister B." He says, and tries to offer up a weak smile for the man. It comes out as a grimace instead.
"And..." he pauses, flicks his eyes towards Damian, and then looks at Bruce. "I'll... try and keep in contact, B. Tell Dick I said hi, alright? I'll see you in a little bit."
Bruce nods, looking vaguely disappointed and sighing slow through his nose. Danny walks away as Bruce turns to address his youngest, and doesn't bother listening in on what he has to say.
He does, eventually, find Tim Drake. He spots him in a crowd instantly - it's hard not to, and he makes his way over to him. He's not sure Tim Drake would recognize him, Bruce didn't at first and Danny had been around him constantly.
Except Tim Drake does recognize him, much to Danny's surprise. They lock eyes and Tim immediately makes his way over to him. "Danny Fenton!" He says and stops in front of him, "What a surprise, we weren't expecting you tonight."
"Tim Drake," Danny replies, smiling a little as his earlier hurt begins to fade away. "I'm surprised you know me."
"There are pictures of you in the manor with Jason." Tim explains, stuffing his hands into his pockets with an easy-going smile. "It's hard not to know you."
"It’s hard not to know you too,” Danny retorts, a sly smile slowly spreading across his face. “Although you’re a lot taller than you used to be, when you were lurking around Bruce and Jason and I.”
Ohhh Danny recognizes him alright. One part due to all the news articles and tabloids on him after he was adopted by Bruce, and the other part because he remembers the little shadow lurking near plants pots and table legs that used to follow him and Jason around at galas just like these.
Knowing that Jason was Robin, he wonders if Jason knew he was there too.
The effect is immediate: Tim’s eyes grow comically large, and a red tint glows at the tip of his ears as he shrinks back like a turtle trying to hide into its shell. “You— you noticed that!?” He hisses.
“I did!” Danny grins, large and wide, stifling a laugh as the red tint spreads over Tim’s cheeks and nose. He looks mortified. Danny coos. “Aww, I thought it was adorable that Jason had a little shadow. I’m sure he would have loved you if you had just come over and said hi. He had a big soft spot for kids.”
Tim snorts and it— it almost sounds derisive? “Sure he would.” He looks sad, and the mirth in Danny’s chest shrivels up like a flower without light. The smile fades from his face, and all that’s left is a strange, staunch reminder that Danny and Bruce weren’t the only ones that probably mourned.
He touches Tim’s shoulder lightly, “Hey, I’m sorry.” He says, trying to look as apologetic as he feels. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m sorry, I miss him too.” Like a fucking limb he missed him.
There’s something that flickers in Tim’s eyes, passing through too fast for Danny to realize what it is. He assumes its gratefulness, because Tim relaxes a little and offers him a weak little smile. “I wish I had talked to him.”
Danny sees an out and takes it, he forces out a short laugh, grinning widely. “I can tell you all about him if you’d like,” he offers, “I told Mister B I’d keep in touch anyways. I’ve missed him and Alfred quite a lot in the last few years.”
“Not Dick?”
“That dipstick wasn’t around often enough for me to form any sort of emotional attachment to him.” Danny says in a half-complaining tone, placing his hands on his hips. “Although I did like his puns.”
Tim snickers, “I’ll tell him you said that then. Nobody likes his puns.”
“Go on ahead,” Danny grins, laughter swirling in his chest and making his core thrum with warmth. Damn, he’s missed this family. “I stand by my decision. Puns are funny.”
“Let’s get a photo then.” Tim says with a hand already fishing in his pocket for his phone. “He’ll be devastated to know that you were here and he didn’t get to see you.”
“Sure.” And Danny sidles on next to Tim, throwing an arm around his shoulders — and making a noise of surprise when his arm was able to fit comfortably — as if he was just resting it on a counter.
He totally forgot how tall he was compared to Tim. Forgot that he’d been looking down the entire time they’d been talking. “Why’d I get my dad’s height.” He complains, and bends his knees as Tim raises the phone with the front-facing camera on.
Tim snickers under his breath, and takes the picture while they’re both smiling wide. Danny immediately stands up, and peers over Tim’s shoulders to look at the picture.
It’s a good one, with the fringe of Danny’s curls falling slightly over his left eye and making the dimple on his right cheek more prominent. He could see the barely-there smattering of freckles he had across his nose, the ones that became more prominent when the sun was out. His smile was lopsided, Danny’s favorite kind of smile.
He whistles lowly, “That’s a good one,” he says aloud, and smiles impishly at Tim when he looks at him. “You should send that one, I look hot in it.”
Tim snorts, his ears reddening as he looks down at his phone. “Yeah sure, no problem.” He says quickly, and Danny looks away when he pulls up the messenger app. He’s never felt comfortable looking over people’s shoulders when they were on their phone.
“I’m gonna go take a smoke break.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and curls his fingers around the box and lighter inside. “I’ll—“
“Be on the west-end balcony.” Tim finishes, the red in his ears darkening as he glances up from his phone to smile embarrassedly. “I know.”
Danny snorts, “Okay.” His voice is thick with amusement. “Let me know how Dipstick reacts, alright?” He backs up slowly, awaiting Tim’s response. Tim merely waves a hand at him, a weak gesture of “yeah yeah” that makes Danny grin before he flips around and marches towards his favorite smoking balcony.
———————
(Tim pulls up the family group chat and loads the selfie into the text bar. His face feels warm with embarrassment even as his thumbs fly across the screen.
Tim: look who i found at the latest charity gala :) [image]
Hee awaits eagerly a response, and finds he doesn’t have to wait long. Dick’s thought bubble appears on screen, then Cass’s — of which it only exists for a moment before disappearing.
Dick: holy shit, is that who i think it is?
Tim responds quickly, and his message sends.
Tim: yep. He wanted me to tell you that he thinks your jokes are funny.
Dick: they are funny
Tim rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment, really thinks. He weighs his pros and cons. And then his fingers fly across the screen again.
Tim: hey Jason are you not gonna say anything?
There’s no response for all of thirty seconds — of which it stretches on to an uncomfortably long minute — and then Jason’s thought bubble appears.
Jason: what do i have to say to a bunch of idiots blowing up my phone in the middle of patrol?
Tim: harsh. do you recognize the guy in the photo?
Jason’s response is instant. Too fast for him to have actually looked at the photo itself. He’s just trying to spite Tim then. Tim doesn’t care, he has the upper hand here
Jason: no and I don’t care, i have patrol
Tim knows he didn’t look at the photo, and yet he can’t help stifle a shit-eating smile and feign innocence
Tim: really? You and Danny used to be so close, color me surprised
His teeth dig into his lower lip, he doesn’t need to in order to hide a smile. But it gives him something to do. Jason is worryingly silent for a long, long time, and Tim can almost imagine him staring long and hard at the selfie. Tim knows he will be later.
Finally, Jason’s text bubble shows up. It exists for a long time, before finally Tim’s phone buzzes with his message alert.
Jason: that’s danny?
Tim feels all too gleeful. Smugness swirling in his chest like kicked up sand as he types his response: yep! Apparently he showed up today, although I’m not sure with who since I don’t see Miss Manson around here.
Damian: Father says to get off your phone, Drake. We are at a Gala and your behavior is most unbecoming
Tim: can it demon spawn, I was just telling Jason that his friend Danny is here
Damian: He can’t be too important if he doesn’t even know Todd is alive
Tim: how would you know that?
Damian: When Father introduced him as Todd’s friend, I expressed my surprise that Todd even had friends, considering how unpleasant he can be. Fenton became quite cross with me after that and quickly excused himself thereafter
Dick: you said what!? Damian that’s not okay
Damian: Father made that quite clear after Fenton left in a huff. My mistake for thinking that Todd had told his ‘supposed best friend’ that he was alive.
Dick: he didn’t even tell us we were alive at first
Damian: He did eventually, didn’t he? Clearly Todd doesn’t seem to care too much about Fenton if he hasn’t even informed him of his being alive at this point.
Jason’s thought bubble quickly pops up, and then dissipates, then pops up again. Tim quickly pockets his phone before he can see Jason’s response. He doesn’t feel smug anymore, just uncomfortable.)
———————
Stepping out onto the west-end balcony feels like a blast from the past. A painful one at that. Danny’s fingers dig into his cigarette pack, and he pulls it out with a sense of bittersweet familiarity.
It feels like a lifetime ago that he once stood here with Jason. The package clunks dully as his fingers scrape against the side, and he fishes a cigarette out of the box before stuffing it back into his pocket.
“Quite the night isn’t it.” He says to nothing, to ghosts of the past, to himself. He turns and sits on the railing, sticking his legs out like a tripping hazard while Gotham’s hot city wind blows through the air.
He looks up and only sees the ugly pollution yellow sky looking down at him. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to him. He loves the stars and yet when faced with a smog that covers it, he feels more at home.
Danny’s fingers find the lighter, and with a few clicks a small open flame appears in existence. There’s a poem here, he can feel it. But he feels too tired to find it.
The cigarette lights, and the lighter dies in response. Returning back to his coffin-like pocket until he needs to use it again. He pulls a leg up, resting his chin on his knee with a heavy, tired sigh.
He soaks in the sounds around him. The ugly city warmth nips at his jaw. The music inside is muffled by the force of two glass doors and walls on all four sides, and Danny can hear late night traffic coming by on the road nearby. It’s a special kind of ambience you can only find on the west end balcony.
Half a decade ago, Danny had played a part with that ambience with Jason. Now it was just him, and Jason was nowhere to be found. It left a hopeless kind of feeling in his chest. An all-suffocating kind of fear that filled him head to toe with an intensity only ghosts could have.
His body winds up like a spring, and Danny holds his breath. When he exhales two minutes later, the spring stutters and jolts, and his body relaxes with a tremble.
He misses Jason. He misses Jason.
Ghosts are emotional creatures. They feel it from their crown to their soles. And emotional wounds never really heal. They scab over and fester, waiting to be picked at again and again so it can bleed as fresh as it did when it first opened.
Danny’s grief is never going to go away, he thinks. It’s clung to him like a parasite; shaped him and molded him. The wound was too close to him when he died, and now it will stay with him forever.
He opens his eyes when his ghost sense tingles, a heavy feeling in his throat that is neither nicotine nor grief. It’s just like Damian’s, but stronger. Potent. Older. It reaches the top of Danny’s throat and sits at the base of his tongue, like a hand about to suffocate him.
He looks up, cigarette hanging off his lips, and the Red Hood drops down beside him. He stands in the same spot Jason once did, and that alone makes the ghostly core in Danny seize possessively.
Don’t you dare stand where he stood, it hisses, coiling around his lungs like smog. Danny grits his teeth and feels his ghost sense evaporate. He pulls the cigarette out of his mouth, and nicotine smoke pours out like a cheap version of his ghost sense.
“Red Hood.” He says plainly, his free hand coiling and uncoiling like cat’s claws against the railing. “A surprise to see you here.”
Danny knows through process of elimination who most of the Gotham vigilantes are: Dick is Nightwing, Bruce is Batman, Tim is Red Robin, Damian is Robin, and Cass is Orphan. There are a few who he doesn’t know, however. Like Batgirl and Red Hood.
It’s fine, he doesn’t need to know. Danny of all people understands the importance of a secret identity.
Red Hood doesn’t say anything, just stares at him as if he’s a deer in headlights. His body all tensed up like he isn’t sure what to do now that he’s here in front of Danny. Like he wasn’t expecting Danny to be here at all.
Danny’s brows furrow. “Sorry, am I in your spot?” He asks, and begins to push off the railing. “I didn’t think vigilantes used the Wayne Hall west-end balcony, I can leave if you want.”
He’s already begun to move towards the door.
The Red Hood lurches in his spot, “No!” He yells, and Danny stops in place with raising eyebrows. Red Hood’s fingers cringe, and he straightens up.
He’s shorter than Danny, he notes. Which isn’t much of revelation. Everyone is shorter than Danny.
“No,” Red Hood repeats, sounding sturdier than before, “No. You’re fine. I’m just stopping here for a quick rest before resuming patrol.”
…Danny doesn’t question it. It’s none of his business about other vigilantes and their practices. He shrugs and breathes out more smoke, “Alright.” He says, and walks back over to the railing to sit on it. “I’m Danny, by the way.”
The Red Hood nods, and a silence falls over them. Danny doesn’t care enough to make it feel uncomfortable, but the Red Hood seems unsettled by something. Lost in thought. He leans his back against the railing similar to Danny, and then switches a few seconds later to a new pose.
He does it again, and again, and again. Until finally he flips over and leans his stomach against the railing, arms resting against it. It is starkly like what Jason used to do, and Danny stares at him long and hard.
He frowns. And says nothing.
When Danny’s cigarette is nothing more than a butt of nicotine, he crushes it in his hand and watches the ash flutter down to the ground. The heat stings his hand, but its nothing his ghostly healing can’t fix.
The Red Hood is already holding out another one when Danny’s hand drifts to his pocket for the box.
Danny stares at him, sudden wariness opening up like floodgates that sit at the bottom of his stomach.
His frown deepens, his eyes flicker up and down at Red Hood. His hands hover over his pocket. “I have my own.” He says, and watches subtly as the Red Hood hides a wilt. As if he’d been expecting Danny to take it.
“Alright.” The Red Hood says, trying to sound unbothered. He retracts the cigarette away from Danny, quiet all the way. He’s looking away.
Danny plucks the cigarette out of his hand, startling the Hood enough that Red snaps back to look at him. Danny yanks his lighter from his pocket. “I won’t say no to a free cigarette.” He says, slightly muffled with the stick between his teeth. It lights.
Silence falls over them again, and when one minute stretches into five, whatever hope that had been digging into the shoulders of Red Hood finally pulls away and leaves him slumping subtly.
‘A ciggie for your thoughts?’ Nine year old Jason Todd whispers one night with an impish grin, holding up a cigarette pinched between his two fingers. ‘I stole it from my old man. He won’t even notice its gone.’
Danny is halfway through it when he speaks. “The Joker killed my best friend.” He says, and watches from the corner of his eye as the Red Hood flinches. Is he startled by Danny speaking, or startled by the bluntness of him starting?
“He beat him to death.” Danny continues, staring stone-faced away from Red Hood. His grief claws up his lungs and burrows into his heart again. His fingers dig into the railing. “He beat my best friend to death.”
The Red Hood is silent, his body as still as the grave. Silence stretches out between them both, and like he’d been thinking, the Hood finally speaks: “How do you know?”
He’s not holding the cigarette, he broke his and Jason’s rule. Danny bounces the stick between his fingers. “His ghost told me.” He says, taking a trembling breath. “His ghost told me so, before he disappeared.”
The Red Hood says nothing, and Danny gathers his thoughts. The ones that had been buried deep next to his core, shoved down ever since Danny learned of Rath and a terrible future where a world is destroyed by one ghost’s hands.
Danny has never said it out loud before. His face scrunches up briefly, and then smooths out when his eyes squeeze shut. “I’m going to kill him, Red Hood.” He murmurs when he opens his eyes, turning his face toward the vigilante. The sound is sucked out of the air.
The Red Hood stares at him, but he doesn’t say a word. Danny pushes on, teeth grinding into teeth as he flips his silvery scarred hand back and forth. Palm up, palm down. “It’s why I haven’t been back to Gotham in a while.” He admits, voice still quiet. “If I see the Joker I will kill him, and I won’t feel bad for it.”
“Not today though,” he says, and closes his hand, “today I’m here on a favor to Vlad Masters. Then after this I’ll go visit my friend. I need to apologize for not seeing his grave in a while. I’ll have to stop by a florist to see if they have any zinnias. Jay likes those.”
He takes out the cigarette in his mouth and breathes out one last cloud of smoke. And then he crushes the cigarette stick under his foot and walks back inside.
#childhood friends au#undead on main#fun fact i made dan's name 'rath' because i Hate the name Dan#raaa my friend had sk8 infinity on and distracted me from the brrrr of responding so now i feel like none of these are satisfying answers#eagerly awaiting your response#all of this is making me think about my 'danny is a jason todd variant' au because THAT has some angst to it specifically over Danny meetin#the average Jason Todd other version of him#Danny (or jay as i like to call him) as Jason wants what Jason has: people who mourn him and address the fact that he's died#Mfer danny’s death in this (the childhood friends one) au is making me think SO much#he mentions his parents built a portal in his basement at lunch and Sam and Tucker think thats crazy#and he goes ‘do you wanna see if?’ and takes them to it after school#his friends are marvelling at everything in the lab bc they’ve never been down here#and Danny’s kinda just staring at the portal with his hands in his pockets#he hasn’t slept since he heard the news of Jason’s death. he looks so tired and sad with circles under his eyes#tucker says the portal looks so creepy because its unlit and looks like it goes on forever. its a tunnel#danny half smiles tiredly and goes ‘wanna see me go inside it?’ bc hey why the fuck not. who cares anymore it doesnt work ghosts arent real#would he even bother putting on a hazmat suit? would he just go inside? would that change how his ghost form looks even more now?#and he goes inside when normally he wouldnt even think about stepping foot near the lab door. but who cares jason is dead and it feels like#there’s a hole where his heart is. like the sun just died. what is he supposed to do now? he doesn’t even care what happens at this point#imagine his first thought upon being ghosted isnt ‘i died’ its ‘ghosts are real? can i see jason again?’#does he have two ghost forms now? one where he’s phantom and another where he’s still phantom but his grief is more prominent?#tears scarred into his cheeks? he takes off his goggles and his eyes are filled out with green no sclera or iris in sight? or is it like#those animatics where its sketched out holes that run at a lower fps than the rest of the animatic? meant to represent his grief? is the ho#in his heart more visible? raaaaagh this is giving me so many delicious thoughts. might be able to answer that dan and vlad question soon#listening to crybaby by melanie martinez while listening to this and thinking about danny#RAAAA ARE HIS TEARS MADE OF INK TO REPRESENT HIS LETTERS TO JASON? i keep having to edit this post because i keep getting MORE ideas#is his ghostly wail the same scream when he died or when he found out jason did? SO MANY THOUGHTS
2K notes · View notes
taylor-titmouse · 7 months ago
Note
my review: i liked how comedic it was, youre good at comedy. i like sex farce
the dubcon felt a lot more like noncon in this one, kinda like the tower book (autocorrect flat out wont let me try to write the actual title. sigh.) and the threats felt a lot more threatening and the villains a lot more villainous. the bandits are definitely the most antagonist-y antagonists youve written aside from the cult in the risen king and our lovely wizard friend romick. mark and george are especially unpleasant (in an amusing way) and i wonder if you intentionally wrote them to be misogynistic as thats something i picked up on from them. they (sam and vanesse too but to a lesser extent) felt like they were written to be actual threatening sex criminals whose acts are considered sex crimes within the narrative/universe, once again similar to romick. angre definitely did not seem to be having a good time during the sex scenes and neither did vanesse when the goblins got her. now none of this is bad in my opinion, i actually quite enjoyed these aspects. but i do think its something people who are sensitive to that type of thing should be aware of
another thing about the story is how it handled gender and expression and all that. that was my favorite aspect of the book. i also enjoyed the world building. youve got a good eye for fantasy world building thats both fun and makes sense. i think you also do in-universe species-ism/prejudice very well too. id read a book by you thats a field guide to the world youve crafted
this is an interesting takeaway because what you're saying much more accurately describes the first draft, to the point that when i read this ask the first time, i was suddenly paranoid i had somehow uploaded that version. the second, final draft involved taking a lot of that real threat out and making it funnier, and trying to play closer to the space the chique books are in, where getting fucked by whoever catches you is a common, acceptable risk.
like the only sex in the whole thing that you could call non-consensual was vanesse and the goblins, but it's presented as a fair punishment given what she does to angre, and it's not presented as a horrible/violent violation, just an annoyance. it's a villain getting what was coming to her. tonally it's different from what people generally think when it comes to non-con, which is why i group it in with dub-con. if she would consider anyone she defeats on the road fair game, the same must be true of her. that's the nature of the world. she "consents" by playing the game, essentially.
similarly angre knew the risk he was taking and specifically goads vanesse into fucking him, so i don't know where you got the idea he didn't want the sex. he came twice. he was fine.
anyway. the question of whether i wrote georgie and markie to be misogynistic on purpose is really funny. no man it happened by accident in the book about fantasy intersectional misogyny. i didn't think about it at all.
i'm glad you liked it i'm just very "huh." about some of your takeaways lol
22 notes · View notes
codecicle · 1 year ago
Note
Swag, tell me about your BG3 character, I’m curious about what you play !! :D
rubbing my hands together evil style. wampus you have no idea what you've unleashed
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
this is my bastard son: Samuel Alastine :D he goes by Sam but everyone calls him Sammy ^_^
his personality is like if you combined chip jrwi + sokka atla and made a really sappy fucked up love child. he's such a sarcastic little bitchboy at all times who loves being a bastard and charming his way into and out of situations (the consequences of his actions). he really focuses on the actions of the people and how they treat others as a sign of if he should trust them or not, when asked by Withers the question on how much a single human life was valued i had his answer READY lmao he was instantly responding with "it depends on the person's actions." he definitely has a weak-spot for kids though, he went through a rough childhood, but he doesn't consider it "important" and he trys to keep it as close to his chest as possible.
he's a tiefling sorcerer and i decided to make his sub-race a dragonborn tiefling so he could get the specific type of spells i wanted. i think my plan for progressing him is to focus my general skill-tree to be skewed towards how his personality would fight instead of whats most practical, and for him that definitely means wiping out multiple people in one flashy go with ZERO back-up plans. the amount of times he's had to get one of the other party member to revive him is insane, so he tends to leave that part out of the big flashy tales about his adventures. he loves showing off and bragging so much genuinely again think sokka atla just an absolute loser bastard who tries to take credit in a loving way. he would kill and die for his friends he just shit-talked as beneath him and side characters 5 seconds ago, and if someone else tries to also talk bad about them he's throwing hands and swinging on them in an instant with his whole 8 strength
speaking of which i skewed by skills so badly by putting the free +2 modifier to charisma to give him a 17 bro i coulda blanced his skills a little more and made all of his attacks do more than a grand total average of like. 2. maybe 3 if youre lucky but i DIDNT because im not a COWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! so now he just flops over if he gets breathed at wrong or is out of spell slots like god intended. but at least he knows how to flirt GODBLESS
also also i definitely think his current party is going to remain his favorite and most trusted for the whole game. he's adventuring with Shadowheart, Wyll, and Astarion right now and they fit him so perfectly its actually insane. he loves how forward thinking Shadowheart is and is willing to follow her, and respects her for keeping her secrets while still letting him make fun of how closed off she is. (realizing now that my playful banter i try to give him might be the romancing options. but like. yeah he would try and do that she would never go for it though.) ((maybe)) and he absolutely adores Wyll's heroicism and looks up to him in a way, full of nothing but respect for how selflessly he acts and how he fights with confidence. he's an especially big fan of how he treats kids, knowing he never would have gotten that same kindness and it was nice to see the cycle be broken and someone make a change. and astarion he just wants to fuck LMAOOOO he loves the conversations they have and while astarion saying "oh yeah btw how do you wanna die when that worm in your brain spreads. like do you want poison or a knife" should normally be offputting thats EXACTLY his kinda humor and flirting. he said knife btw ^_^ purely because at the beginning where astarion jumped him he pinned him to the ground and held a knife to his throat and he really wants that to happen again but you didn't hear that from him. nuh uh.
anyway im having so much fun playing this game fully in character i see why the council did it that way now !! this is so silly goofy and fun i love going "oh wow any normal self respecting person would NOT say that to the random person they just met. i dont want to pick this option but youre not gonna believe this chief, its What My Character Would Do" every 5 fucking minutes for a new dialog this game is awesome im gonna go die in a combat now goodbye [vanishes into the woods] [the camera very clearly shows me hiding behind a tree thats too skinny for my body asking someone off screen if he's gone yet]
15 notes · View notes
orionsangel86 · 1 year ago
Text
A bit of a moan under the cut...
It's funny to be in this position where I follow a ton of SPN blogs, and a ton of Good Omens blogs, and so I get a lot of interesting hot takes across my dash.
It's fine for people to be critical, but I do find criticism of GO from SPN fans kinda hilarious and hypocritical.
"the writing was like bad fanfiction"
You did actually watch Supernatural yes? Even season 4 had its terrible fanfiction moments *cue trauma memory of Sam Winchester explaining "w*ncest" to his brother and shudder*
"There was no plot at all and it was all pointless."
Hmmm... reminds me of seasons 12, 13, and 14 of SPN
"The relationship reveal at the end was so stupid and clearly a crack ship from tumblr"
Yeah I was also really surprised when Dean and Crowley hooked up in Season 10.
"Neil Gaiman was clearly bullied into making them canon by tumblr, he absolutely hated fans asking if Crowley and Aziraphale were gay and in love back before the first season came out"
And? Why is him changing his mind (if thats what happened) a bad thing? What exactly do you think was happening behind the scenes at Supernatural regarding Destiel?
"Even if Neil Gaiman DID change his mind and decide to make it romantic, its still disingenuous and he's lying to you about what he planned with Terry Pratchett"
Sure. He could be. Funny how sometimes at some point people may see the light regarding their characters and realise that the story works better if they are together - at least Neil Gaiman was able to follow through, unlike Bobo Berens and Andrew Dabb who had their vision shat on by the CW.
Maybe he is exaggerating about what exactly he and Terry plotted out. He's protective of Terry's memory but clearly also painfully aware of how rabid the fans are and has gone a bit overboard in reassuring them. How many lies have you been told by the creators of SPN? How many times have Jackles and Mollins lied to you? Queerbaited you? Mocked you? Have you ever heard of a little thing called growth?
If you are gonna be critical about GO and Neil Gaiman, by all means go ahead. But DO NOT then sit there in the same breath and say SPN was better, that SPN had your back, or sing SPNs praises in any way.
Both shows have good and bad moments. Both sets of creators have lied at times, and tried to do whats best for their fans at times. Both shows are filled to the fucking brim with fanservice - at least GO didn't mock and ridicule its fans by either portraying them all as sad loser men, obsessive stalkers, or teenage girls who are a bit too obsessed with the sappier moments to be taken seriously. The fandom inserts in GO were older, wiser, calmer, and rather badass lesbians actually. I thought that was pretty neat.
I'm not even a huge Neil Gaiman stan, find most of his asks cringe (and often wonder if he picks out the cringier ones specifically to toy with and mock the fandom) and def find some of his explanations surrounding the origins of the GO sequel contradictory and nonsensical. Whilst he is a great fantasy writer, he isn't the best at screenwriting imo. He is also rubbish at comedy and needs support on that always. It is very clear to me that he has absorbed some of the tumblr mentality in his later years, as this is apparant to me in both GO and the Sandman, and yet, as someone who rather loves the tumblr mentality, I'm all for it. I think he is maybe trying a bit TOO hard to appeal to the tumblr specific queer community which can be alienating for wider audiences (i say this as someone who considers herself very much part of the tumblr specific queer community), and I do sometimes wonder if there is something a little bit disengenuous on his side about that, because, well, how much can an older cishet white man ever really understand the overly millennial/Gen Z queer majority AFAB leaning tumblr space? I do think some people have really got to crawl out of Neil Gaiman's ass because he is not your God. He is just a guy.
But I also think a lot of the hate thrown his way is unnecessary. A lot of people's gripes about him seem to be complaints that he is too wrapped up in tumblr culture. Which is an ironic criticism to come from tumblr users. If you hated GOS2 that's totally fine. But if you hated it and then proudly proclaim that "Supernatural did it first" "Supernatural did it better" or just "Supernatural was the best and Good Omens will never be Supernatural". Please, for the love of God, shut the fuck up. Supernatural was heavily influenced BY Good Omens, and the Sandman. Supernatural was so braizen in its stealing ideas from GO and the Sandman that it even stole one of the main characters NAMES.
As a long time SPN fan, any SPN fans ever claiming Neil Gaiman stole ideas from SPN is a fucking embarassment to the rest of the SPN fandom. By all means criticise Gaiman's work to your hearts content, but at least criticise it correctly and leave the hypocrisy at the door.
9 notes · View notes
star-ri-eyed · 2 years ago
Text
this took to long to get back to, life a bitch, but thank you for the tag!! im in an oversharing mood so LETSGOOOO
Nickname: rich/richie, people irl have other things they call me like gremlin/feral child, feral fairy (especially my mum) money face (my dad). but my favourites are from my mums side of the family. I’ve got cherub (ironic), little (cousins name) (bc we are FREAKISHLY similar, not just in appearance, but personality. she has a 2yo who will consistently look at me like ‘you’re mum, but you’re not mum and im confused’ i love this kid so much) my favourite is my uncle, i ADORE my uncle and the only “niece/nephew”s he had is me an my brother, now i’m not out to him (he would absolutely not care and love me no matter what, im just not there) so mostly i get ‘beautiful niece’ which i love, but my favourite is ‘my favourite niece’ because it always leads to the conversation of -‘im your only niece’ -’yeah but youre still my favourite” and then continues down the rabit hole
Height: 5’7 and i have BEEF with my height, i was supposed to be 5’10. i was robbed of THREE WHOLE INCHES
The last thing I googled: flower delivery [REDECTED] (i bought flowers for my mumma)
Song stuck in my head: unholy -sam smith and kim petras . it played like 8 times at work yesterday and then again this morning
Number of followers: fucked if i know??? (i just checked and its like 50. it’s not something i care abt at all. i post my silly little shit for me and my silly little friends)
Amount of sleep: not enough. the BEST night sleep ive gotten in my whole life was the night i did a sleep study, and i didnt sleep enough to get any usable data and i think thats funny
Dream job: TROPHY BOYFRIEND or a librarian
Wearing: my mums old company shirt and shorts bc its fuckin muggy today and i dont want to turn on the aircon yet
Movie/book that summarizes you: i have zero fuckin clue, my personality is curated specifically for you
Favorite song currently: looking for somebody (to love) - the 1975
Aesthetic: literal rags, i dont dress in real cloths nearly as much as id like to so its falling apart graphic tees and leggings/jeans
Favorite author: idk, ive only just stared reading physical books again in the bast 6 monthsRandom facts: this one is my fave atm. timothée chalamet has always given me gender envy, but it didn’t get that bad until last year when the ongoing joke became ‘he is my #1 enemy and the loml and as soon as i see him it’s on sight’. i stockholm syndromed myself into loving him. i would kill for and kill (affectionate) this man. no one said parasocial relationships had to be purely positive)
who ever wants to, but im calling out @marlenemckinnons @fenix-films @muggleofcoffee @deargyul @sezzabean
15 questions 15 tags
@anemicc-royalty thanks for the tag :)
nickname: everyone calls me Limo in here
height: 158cm the last time I checked (5.18 feet)
the last thing I googled: cm to feet convertor
song stuck in my head currently: none :( no songs head empty
number of followers: where do I even see that number? I think it's double digits, though, maybe triple digits now with the pornbot epidemy
amount of sleep: not enoughhh
dream job: *stares blankly off to the distance* what is a job. what is a dream
Seriously though, I haven't got the slightest idea what I might want to do for a living. There was a short period of time when I wanted to be a veterinary doctor as a kid. Now I'm low-key aiming for a massage certificate. Whatever I do must be compatible with running my family's farm, too, as Mum would never forgive us if we let it die, and neither of my siblings are inclined to doing it. And I like the animals, I'm just extremely insecure about my ability to get things done.
Wearing: The same dark blue T-shirt I've been wearing for a week *sighs in should do her laundry* (it's washed and dry but i need to put it away adjaldjad), thin black leggins and warm pink socks
movie/book that summarises you: I don't know, I didn't finish The Catcher In The Rye back when I picked it up but it did have some sentences in there
favourite song currently: brother by Madds Buckley. Not me feeding my Black Brother Brainrot
aesthetic: cottagecore I guess but with far far far more actual horseshit not a single white dress in sight
favourite authors: I read sooo many books by Bernard Cromwell when I was in my History Books Era. Terry Pratchett, too
Random facts: hmm 'kay so we have this old pony from Sweden who hurt her eye when she was younger and is blind in the eye. And now the eye is prone to growing more veins than it should, if I understood correctly? Usually when it happens with cats and dogs the eyeball gets removed, so that's the long term solution, though we'll have it done in spring/summer.
no pressure tags forrrrrrrr uh @ncoincidences @secretpersona8 @girlresting @regulusarchieblack @sayosdreams @moth-lover-not-mother @lostmykeysie @natache @audreyshelly @fantasticbeastsnwheretohidethem @bythehearts @so--many-fandoms @academic114
41 notes · View notes
imaketheladiesmcswoon · 3 years ago
Text
i am going to tell you about my melissa tgwdlm hcs now because i want to
me rn:
Tumblr media
alrighty let’s start w the el gee bee tees
i hc melissa as an ace lesbian and a trans girl (she/her for now)
also i hc her and ted as being quite close friends coz they just like to gossip about everyone at ccrp
trans woman/trans man solidarity 😌
yes i hc ted spankoffski as a trans man but i think you already knew that *glances at icon*
also i made this oc, a person called lotte who works at beanies and in my hc melissa has a crush on herrr
ooo wait lemme make a picrew of her
Tumblr media
lotte - they/she - transfem nonbinary ace grayro sapphic (im thinking probably lesbian but i’m not sure yet)
melissa and lotte t4t ace4ace girlfriends <33
also the hc is that they’re one of zoeys theatre friends
as well i hc melissa as being mixed (half white half latina (mexican to be more specific)) and she knows some spanish but isn’t fully fluent
ik most of these hcs are so ooc and random but idc <3
also hc that melissa has a lil lesbian flag on her clipboard and one day ted saw it (before ted and melissa became friends, this was like their first interaction probs like within a week of melissa joining ccrp) and was like “fuck yeah women am i right“ and melissa was so scared but was like “yeah women are great“
about trans melissa i have this hc that melissa had to take time off work to go get her top surgery and when mr davidson asked why she had to take time off she was like “u um t top surgery” and mr davidson was like okay cool
coz melissa was scared he would be like that’s not a valid reason to take a day off
the days she was off everyone was like where’s melissa and mr davidson was like oh she’s having top surgery and everyone immediately texted her like WOOO YOU GET THOSE TITTIES GIRL
lets just say she was very concerned checking her phone after the surgery
i have a hc that the Exact same thing happened with paul when he got his top surgery and that’s why they all immediately knew to text melissa congratulating her
also crack hc that ted sent her a card in the post that had congratulations on your anniversary on but he crossed out anniversary and wrote titties
she magnet-ed the card up on her fridge
also angst time hc that melissas parents cut contact w her when she came out as trans lol
like she was 18 so they didnt legally have to provide for her anymore so they were like bye bye <3
also i hc that melissa has a bunch of siblings that are all cishet but super overly supportive
omg hc that they’re all brothers and they’re all like yeahhh we like women too B)
omg hc that like melissa has no one to celebrate christmas with and ted also has no one coz his parents are transphobic too and he’s joking like “lol what if we celebrated christmas together haha slash jay” and she’s like “haha no but what if slash serious,,,”
also hc that melissa is the ace stereotype of just confused by allosexual ppl
like whenever charlotte or ted are like yeah i have sex she’s just like ew why /hj
omg imagine if one day there’s like an office party or smth and some ppl bring their partners and paul sees melissa with lotte and melissa sees paul with emma and they’re both like YOURE DATING A BARISTA FROM BEANIES AS WELL
paul and melissa are like omg how did we not know that the other was dating a beanies barista too while emma and lotte are like oh hey bestie
imagine charlotte brings sam and lotte is like hey isn’t zoey dating that guy- and melissas like HAHA SHUT UP BABE <3
thats all for now folks B)
18 notes · View notes
shoezuki · 4 years ago
Text
Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually
Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.
First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.
Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.
The 'development' aspect
A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;
Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.
End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.
Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?
Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.
Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though
Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:
Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely
This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known
Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife
This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.
Wilbur is evil
This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.
Dream is going to revive wilbur
This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.
Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison
Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?
So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.
Other characters and plotlines
Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:
Sam
He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.
I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.
Ranboo
Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?
Puffy
I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.
Philza
BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????
Niki
I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.
BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????
We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?
What i think would work
This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.
Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.
More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development
A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.
Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?
The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.
We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically
Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.
69 notes · View notes
thesharondefenseleague · 3 years ago
Note
Imo i think while Peggy is the subject of bad character writing it's recognized less because unless she had a limited presence in the MCU ( unless you watched Agent Carter which most didn't). Sharon has the same problem tho to a much higher extreme because unless you are following behind the scene stuff or read the comics you get very little of Sharon before TFAWS. Its bad writing but if thats too large a part of what you got for the character its what you now have to judge the character on.
I will say that kind of take on Peggy is much less common and has more to do with not liking how they are handling Peggy now rather than bad character writing alone. But I do think this becomes a problem for many female characters in fandom in general.
Because they are often written badly compared to their male counterparts. And while it's not their fault they are written like that they are fictional characters. How they are written is to a large degree is what they are.
But I think in MCU specifically ( since they are based however loosely on the comics) its also based on fandom latching on to the comic canon vs not. For example its common to hear about comic canon vs the MCU depiction after a movie comes out.
After the Avengers for example people talked extensively about Hawkeye how he is in the comics. And many mcu fans were like damn I know comics and MCU are seperate things but thats a shame they didn't go with that version that seems like so much more fun. Many who didnt read comics started incorporating that version of Hawkeye to their fan content some even started reading Hawkeye comics.
Alternately similar things happened with Bucky and Sharon. People pointing out things like oh Bucky was actually Steve's kid side kick in comics and Sharon had Natasha's role in WS. But unlike with Hawkeye there was less lamenting of what could have been. People felt that the story hit better with Bucky as an adult who was Steve's best friend getting brainwashed. And they felt they liked that position more with Black Widow who they already knew getting this new character dynamic with someone. Rather than bring in another character to put in that position.
So the fan works often didnt bring in that version of Sharon and Bucky.
So imo the frustration with bad character writing is emphasized more when there is a contrast to better wrtten characters ( either other characters bring written better or the same character having been written better in a diff incanation).
And they are shit on that more when there isn't really a version of them a good chunk of people prefer to see instead ( like Sharon for example especially in the movies im seeing more defense now though of the character in the show but might just be people I follow and its actually uncommon).
While the fandom might mourn the loss of good character writing and try to use fandom to fix things in fic if there is a version fandom prefers more ( like Natasha in AOU ).
You get it.
Peggy, Sharon, and Bucky all fall under the same umbrella (with Sam too, and everyone except Fury, Natasha, and Maria) where in a movie starring Steve, their characters essentially worship him. They’re all Steve’s fans who love him unconditionally. In the comics, they had no problem calling him out when he did stupid shit, especially Sharon. But not many people were willing to read their comics because the obsession over how pretty the actors were drowned out any character complaints. Only Hawkeye received enough (very much deserved) complaints that led to the Fraction/Aja series picking up sales and fans. So it allowed Hawkeye to get better writing. They don’t know what to do with the other three, so Bucky’s character plateaus on wanting a new Cap that he approves of, Sharon’s writers bashing her while viewers ask what the fuck, and Peggy just being written to fill in Steve’s shoes because the actress wants to keep working with the MCU and his actor wants to do anything else.
~Mod R
6 notes · View notes
theyreonlynoodlesmike · 4 years ago
Text
Had My Bestfriend Watch the Lost Boys and...
She thinks Dwayne is the hottest
She thinks David looks like one of our friends just "with a bad haircut"
She thinks Marko is the ugliest, with Paul as her second place for hottest
She thinks it'd be hard to grab someone in the air
She laughed when she saw the names were in alphabetical order during the opening credits (idk why) (her explanation: in my mind i thought they def did that because someone complained about their name not showing up first. LIKE MEH THATS NOT FAIR!!!!!!)
"That baby is ugly" i.e. the random baby in a stroller
"Do they not burn in the sun?" "No, they do" "Then why do they live in California"
Nanooks her favorite
"This is so 80s"
"Pretty girl big hair" -her, about Star (she's a little gay)
"Who stares at someone like that. Like no thoughts head empty. Mouth open like a fish, mouth breathing ass."
"The brunettes really hot" (Dwayne) "He looks like a member of Greta Van Fleet." (Again, Dwayne) "Ew the ugly one at the end" (Unfortunately, Marko)
"Why is everyone just staring at everyone?" "Longingly stares at eachother" *stares at me until I laugh*
*Mimics Sam* "Phoenix, actually"
"Could save your life? Shut up"
"She looks like she's cosplaying as Esmeralda" -her, about Star
"Why aren't the police more alarmed by the fact that there are cars with roofs ripped off?"
She hates Edgar. She hates how they talk (the Frogs), and thinks they sound stupid
"With the kid too? Makes him even hotter" -her, about Dwayne
When Michael hesitated at the stairs, "Don't be a pussy, Michael" 
"He has no right to be that big of an asshole when he looks like that. Ugly and mean? Pick a struggle" -her, about David
"Just find a different girl" "why is he doing this????" She really thinks Michael could've just left their asses
*Mimicks Sam* "They just all talk like idiots"
Thinks Sam is definitely gay
"That jawline, those lips, and the curly hair? Who gave him the right?" -her, about Michael
"Sam is a shit brother." She dislikes Sam and the Frogs. Apparently they don't get rights. Thinks Sam is a bad son and a bad brother. (Later note: thinks he's slightly better at the end)
"Why is she just kissing him??" 
"I know you almost just killed your brother but you're looking kinda hot tonight" -her, making fun of Star
"Are they just fucking in front of Laddie?" (She do be spitting facts about this though)
About Sam asking Michael if he took care of everything, "That twink needs to mind his own business"
Immediately guessed that Max was a vampire
She thinks Edgar looks like a toad. She also said, "You know what I'm gonna name my kid? Edgar. That’s the name of a guy that gets pussy."
Me and her at the same time, "He's *tall*" About Max leaning down to kiss Lucy (this is an inside joke but I still wanted to put it)
She likes the soundtrack a lot, and we were jamming quite a bit
Hates where the fangs are placed. "Is he eating his brain?" When someone scalped a dude in the feeding scene
She thinks the other vamps should've had more lines. "Why does the ugly one have so much to say?" She specifically wants Dwayne to talk more (but low-key I *agree*)
"Dwayne seems like a bottom" (I do not agree with her on that and we paused it to literally argue about this)
She thinks Marko is gay. When I told her they're all probably gay, she said, "Oh, they definitely pull eachothers horns."
Went on a whole rant about how it's very closeted gay of Sam to put so much trust into the Frogs. She was like, "He listens to them for so much and for what. He just thinks they're cute and wants them to like him."
We also paused half-way through to talk about how there should've been more female characters and how Star should've been given a foil. We think it would've been improved if Dwayne/Marko both had girlfriend's cause then they could've gotten more lines
After Markos death, "Yay" and "They've got twink blood all over them"
When Sam went to get Nanook "He's so fucking dumb! Why are they all outside now!!!"
Anytime Dwayne comes on screen, "He's so hot!"
At Paul's hand on the tub, "Nice acrylics". She later said she thought his death was the coolest
She made a sad face when Dwayne died and didn't say anything
She called bullshit on David's death cause it's not a stake and considering Joel originally wanted David to come back she's not Wrong™
Overall, she thinks David is mean but a really good villain. 
She thinks Dwayne is really hot, and she likes his hair. She thinks the way he died was cool, but she wishes he didn't. "I love him, he didn't even need to saying anything. I could just tell-" "Tell what?" "That he's good."
She said she's glad that "Rat Bastard™ died first." She thinks that "men with hair that curly shouldn't have mullets"
Paul wasn't that impactful, but she thought he was cute. When I said Brooke was originally considered for David, she said she would've liked that version of the character more
About Sam: "He screams every line. He's a bad brother and a bad son. He just wants to suck off the Frogs and that's it."
The Frogs: "Edgar is fucking annoying and I don't care about Alan." She was very mad to hear that they're in the sequels/they're about them
About Lucy: "Lucy talks like a baby, but she's a good mom. She needs to be more strict and tell Sam to shut the fuck up more. Max was able to manipulate her and lie to her because she's, honestly, need to be more aware-" She blames sexism as to why Lucy was "clueless, but a good mom" and she "would've loved to see Lucy stake a vamp." Specifically Max and honestly would've loved to see it
About Michael: "He's dumb and a himbo. Too focused on his horniness. Too focused on Star. She's really pretty, but other girls exist. Weird he was so invested, and their relationship should've been built up more"
About Star: "She's pretty, but meek, aloof, and only cares about a child. Very sexist portrayal of both of the women in this movie. Would've liked to see her stand up more, and would've liked if their (Lucy and Star) only goal wasn't taking care of a child. Would've liked it if she was built up more. I think Star deserved better"
About Grandpa: "Funny, cool, cooky. Solid wise old man. But why didn't you tell them about the VAMPIRES??? I wish he was more involved in the plot"
7/10 she thinks it's okay, but she thinks the boys should've been given more lines and there should've been more female characters/pass the Bechdel test
93 notes · View notes
luckycheesefoodie321 · 4 years ago
Text
Soooooo... Couples therapy didn’t go well for SamBucky... TFATWS THOUGHTS (long post + spoilers)
Ok. Ok some depth to dude in a suit.
Not a bad guy. But the good guy Erskine always hoped for???
Mmmmmm some parallels between Sam and dude in a suit. Nervous to fill that suit.
“You’re not Captain America”
Aww they referenced his song
“Punch your way out of problems” hmm
Well yknow this is very early Captain America when Erskine gets killed and all Steve could do was be a figurehead of the war and put on shows...so interesting parallels
Bucky finds outtttt and he’s probably gonna deck Sam for giving up the shield
Ahhhhhh I knew it. Boi believed in what Steve believed. And seeing the shield being touted by some other guy gotta hurt.
Wait. But how did Bucky know Sam was gonna be there. Is he even allowed on this base??? Who gave him access???
Bucky my love you can’t help but latch onto the only friend you have huh? Wanna protect the dude that Steve believed could take up the mantle.
Instant chemistry on screen I adore this.
Dear god the sexual tension
Awwww “DONT call me Buck. Only Steve can call me Buck” WHATS THE BET BY THE END HES CALLING HIM BUCK OR THERES A CALL BACK WHERE SAM CALLS HIM BUCK AND BUCKY SAYS STILL CANT CALL ME THAT
Ahahahhahha what happened to the cool guy who caught Caps shield??
Cant even jump out of plane with no parachute. No wonder you didn’t get chosen to be Captain America XD (I kid. Don’t come for me)
Yknow what glad they showed them putting in those ear pieces. Every time they do that, the nonsense of every single Avengers movie and Civil War gets whittled down a little bit more
Sam we need a brooding non blinking dude or else who else will be your comedy prop
That was a flirty smile. Stop flirting Sam you’re on a mission.
Also love that Bucky is kinda caught up in saying all the cheesy sort of “casual” mission banter lines
Wait is that his new hero name orrrr? Bc he’s trying not to be the Winter Soldier anymore..
Their ongoing banter is really refreshing when before in other MCU movies (and this is very back to classics) there was time for maybe one quirky line mid action and the rest is just serious on a mission mode unless Tony was around
Bucky running oh my god I forgot
We had the whole running scene in Civil War too XD
Oop she’s not a hostage
Bucky has to love redwing in future right? (Sike they kill Redwing)
Oooh Sam got the hero music playing!!!
I was wrong. Dude in a suit got CAPS MUSIC????
Oh damn roll through the grass guys take it easy XD
I’m sorry subtitler what are you doing. “Captain America”???
Ok but that tracking shot of them just walking and bantering is great
This is a fun shot oh my god
BIG THREE
Baby there is a bit of difference to Steve jumping on a grenade pre-serum no protective gear of any kind using HIMSELF as a shield and expecting to blow up but hoping to save everyone else in the process... vs you knowing you can get out of it unscathed despite intentions being similar
Not a bad guy but not the “good man” just yet. But hey am appreciating his character depth.
Wow love that they’ve pointed out Bucky’s staring XD
But also this guy was raised up by the government. Steve was the embodiment of freedom.
“Battlestar??? Fuck yo nickname!” Hahahahaha
Oof John really just said they were his wingmen huh
Sam was right tho. I can get behind what dude in a suit is going for but he just has to end it poorly
So Super Soldiers came back as a plot point after the tease that was Civil War huh?
Wait wait so Sharon is still an enemy of state???
Nice. (I don’t remember what this was for)
Wow. And now we see the reality. Bucky, albeit pardoned, was considered a war criminal.
But they still think Sam is the aggressor in a situation where, I think, he would be justifiably upset. A hero, a black hero, was erased from the history books, effectively.
Racial profiling doesn’t stop. They see colour first and person second. And it was only after they realised who Sam was that they apologised. Actually even worse, it took Bucky reminding him to realise who they were.
How goddamn messed up.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmn ok dude in a suit you are overstepping boundaries here.
Bucky definitely needs the therapy, and while I would like him to have more freedom, it should not be on your authority????
Oooh tell em Doctor Raynor.
COUPLES THERAPY TIME
Ooooooh gazing hell yeah time to fall in love lads
Hahahhahahah their legs oh my god
Bucky’s “ha I won” look
Awww no Bucky really believed in Sam because it meant hope for him too I cant
I was rooting for this guy but he is getting on my nerves SNATCH THAT SHIELD OFFA HIS BACK
Yo but I feel bad for the Flag Smashers a lil? Their cause isn’t bad. Their target is governments, corruption etc. but idk we’ll see how things play out.
Jfc Zeno chill out. This music tf.
SHUT THE FUCK UP HOE THATS IT
—-
So we finally have some Falcon and The Winter Soldier bonding action, we love to see it.
Clearly they’re not best of pals, nor do they have Steve as their mediator... gotta navigate their relationship together, and once they nab a bad guy together for the first time, they’ll have better bond and it’ll be nice.
That said, gotta appreciate Bucky was actually more honest with Sam present. So that was some progress.
I am still neutral about Dude in a Suit... he’s not Captain America but idk if he’s earned me calling him just John and he’s not the USAgent yet?? Is that his name??
I can see where his motivations are coming from but he is really buying into this government mandated position that was only possible because Sam gave up the shield, when we’ve looked at him by himself wanting to live up to expectations... but dude is just coming off as a leech??? And I do hope he has a moment where he realises that, despite being the perfect soldier, there is someone who is more of a “good man” that Steve was, that Erskine wanted to take on the power...
And yknow the meeting with Isaiah does set up the very real concept that POC figures of significance are forced to remain in the shadows, or are straight up erased by a white-dominant society that wants to present a specific type of person as a hero for the masses to look up to...
Which is why I found the convo with that kid calling Sam “Black Falcon” interesting. The dad, who told the kid to call him that, might’ve wanted that distinction. In a society that continues to vilify and destroy their “racial minorities”, having a black hero like Falcon (and Black Panther and War Marchine) is important... and that idea leads into Sam’s outrage about Isaiah being unknown for so long... (as a non-American, non-black but POC woman, these are just some thoughts I have)
But yeah. Behind this very MCU veneer, we have some real character-led drama coming through and I’m all for it!
7 notes · View notes
desticuleconfessions · 4 years ago
Note
hey desticule. so i have a supernatural-themed girl best friends story that i’ve wanted to share for a long time, especially because none of my irl friends ever rly understood the gravity of this experience w/o the context of spn. there’s a lot of fun parallels to stuff on the show, and its given me like years of brain rot and therapy lmao. so i really deeply appreciate this page as an outlet, thank you so much to the mods for making it. anyways uh. here goes. sorry it’s so long.
[tw: queer trauma, religious trauma, mental illness]
okay so. in 3rd grade i met this girl. we'll call her kate. we became best friends, as in our names were never spoken separately, we did (and won) every science fair together, she came skiing with my family every winter, i stayed with her family at their beach house in the summers, our younger siblings were friends, etc.
our birthdays were exactly 6 months apart (jan 22/jul 22) so we literally believed that we were celestially intertwined.
we wrote a novel together in 8th grade. her family is baptist, we attended massachusetts catholic schools. i would go to church with her family when i slept over, i held hands and said grace with them at meals. they are all tall and blonde and beautiful. classically angelic. i am south asian. i remember introducing her to harry potter in the 4th grade, her mother hadn't let her read em because it was "blasphemous", but i snuck her my copies and she would read them during lunch n recess and keep them in my locker. sorry this seems like a lot of unnecessary detail but it will be important later.
anyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). im highly protective of her. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.
so we start high school together at coed catholic school nearby, i join debate, make a friend also into spn, she's bi. she asks kate out over text. kate's mom sees this. things turn.
now the rest of these things happened over the course of a couple months and due to my trauma memory loss, i have no idea how accurate some of these memories are so uh. don't hold me to them.
- her highly religious mother is not happy with this obviously. at some point, she brings a priest home and tries to have kate exorcised.
- at this point, we learn that kate is schizophrenic; it never seemed to create noticeable issues before bc her home life and childhood was a perfect happy dream (not an assumption, her words).
- she's still coming to school, sporadically now, i bring home her work, spend hours helping her.
- when she comes to school, she has seizures: sometimes we're fortunate enough that they happen in a class we have together. she freezes up and the teacher empties the room. i refuse to leave. i hold her hand and softly sing her favorite song and sometimes she comes back to me. sometimes she doesn’t and the bell rings and the teacher forces me to leave and let the nurse handle it.
- another time they announce a medical lockdown (to keep ppl out of the hallway if someone is being escorted to an ambulance) while im in catholicism class, i immediately know it’s her; she fainted in the pool during swim team practice.
- i stay awake for 6 days straight bc i read online that sleep deprivation induces some of the same symptoms as schizophrenia and if i could understand what she was going through, i could help her
- she shows up at my house w both of her parents 15 minutes before the winter ball, begs me to go bc her parents will only let her if i go. so i do. her mom lurks by the gym doors with the chaperones. during a slow song, kate and debate girl start to slow dance, i grab our friend’s hand, drag him in front of them so her mom can’t see and make out with him.
- i wanted to tell her to stop but i was too afraid i would lose us, that it would seem like i was homophobic or i was jealous, but i knew her in my marrow and it didn’t seem like she was in love or into the relationship, it was willful self destruction
- we talked in the last few years, she confirmed this.
- at some point, she says she’s sorry she didn’t tell me about the voices before.
- when we talk, she’s not her anymore, she doesn’t remember our inside jokes, our codes, i can feel her being slowly ripped away and apart in real time
- i have a vivid memory of arguing with her and her telling me im not real, that her mind made me up, while occasionally speaking to something? someone? else in the room. i hold her hand and point to the matching thin scars on our thumbs and try to convince her im real.
- she eventually drops out entirely, taken to some mental facility that im not entirely sure wasnt conversion therapy (it was definitely a religious facility) (and conversion therapy was not outlawed in new hampshire until 2019) and im not allowed to see her.
- every now and then i get cryptic distressing emails or texts from her.
- one in particular has the subject, “youandiwalkafragilelineihaveknownitallthistimebutineverthoughtidlivetoseeitbreak” which is the first line of the song ‘haunted’ by taylor swift (our shared favorite)(the summer after this happened we collectively decided we needed a new swift Our Song and chose ‘breathe’). the body of the email read “what the hell have i done”
- i pray for the first time in my life, every single day for a few months, in different languages, at temple with my parents, in the chapel at school
- on a club trip, i get a call at 2am from her, crying, asking me why i didn’t help her, why i didn’t stop her, that it was my job to protect her
here’s something i wrote about her, three yrs after:
I wasn’t careful enough and she caught quickly. She burned so close and so bright that for long afterwards, I could not see. And like that, she was gone. I walked into the chapel. Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.
[that last line is from the latin version for a catholic prayer called the act of contrition, it translates to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”]
in the fall, i hear she’s starting at a small baptist school almost an hour from her house. she is dating the principal’s son. the principal is also her pastor.
in my second year of college, i have a bad acid trip in a snowy park in december. i put my hands into the snow and when i look at them,i see blood. i see her body in the snow adorned like it’s a funeral
i still have dreams about her. sometimes i meet her in a grassy field, flying kites and i invite her to my wedding. in others, i catch a glimpse of her ponytail and catholic school skirt and chase her up eight flights of stairs and when i grab her hand, she turns to ash.
at some point in a separate argument w my parents in which they went through my texts and found out i wasn’t straight (amongst other things) my dad says:“i knew i should’ve listened to [kate’s dad] when he told me the things you would talk about. he knew what you are. and he took his daughter away from you.”
last christmas we met up and drove around together, she tells me that for years she thought i hated her for letting me down and for abandoning me, and i literally have the dean winchester in ‘sacrifice’ five stages of grief when sam says “you know what i confessed in there?” because i could not even begin to fathom that she ever blamed herself. it had always been my fault. i had failed to save her. i corrupted her and i failed to save her.
anyways she’s fine now, she’s okay, im okay, we’ve talked and unpacked and we’re alright. but uh. yeah. that happened. the parallels make me crazy. now they can make you crazy too.
10 notes · View notes
mc-slowwalker · 3 years ago
Note
MULLET MULLET MULLET YES
philza being 100000 years old is something I can get behind tbh. my least favourite age hc, which I think I actually hate with a burning passion, is the tommy and tubbo were 9 during the first l’manberg wartime actually ignites a visceral rage in me
yeah!! I managed to make it to pink’s bedwars stream the other day and it was great. yeah lol I was lowkey upset too when foolish was added cause I had no idea who he was but he’s super fun so that’s cool! I like high energy stream more too cause I zone out super easily. unless it’s dream, he can stream anything and I’ll try my hardest to pay attention the whole time
ooooh vet that’s cool. oh my god c!dream going into the dentist after months in prison😭😭😭 I’m imagining c!techno as a beefy pig sitting in the kind of small couch/seats we have in the waiting room. Tommy would 100% bite and then get really mad about getting a toy that we give to little kids after their treatment lol
omg the pet wars 😔😔😔 so sad. everyone in the dsmp is emotionally attached to their animals than anything else and what can I say, I’m the same
oh yeah I also tend to take c!dream criticism to heart more idk why. I’m definitely way more defensive of c!dream apologists than any other they get so much unnecessary shit. though from your other anons it looks like c!sam apologists are getting more shit too which sucks but solidarity ig. oh man I get you I have to tell myself to like take a step back and not take everything so personally. another thing on twitter is that people who vehemently hate c!dream will sometimes just refuse to use /dsmp /roleplay tags like it’s not that hard, tweets without that have already been misinterpreted to hate on cc!dream which just pisses me off like you can have your shit opinion just tag it properly. and like when people tell them to include it they’ll be like “ohh the dream apologists harassed me.” and yeah people genuinely go around calling c!dream apologists abuse apologists and it’s terrible. like I don’t care if you have your bad takes and aren’t willing to discuss them, just tag it properly and don’t shit on c!dream apologists it’s not that hard. though it’s funny the other day, the first time I replied to some shut take on twitter, in a lighthearted manner too, I got instantly blocked and there’s this on person on twt, they’re also on tumblr, that blocks anyone that even slightly disagrees with them. oh well ig
also did you see about that lore that foolish did? it was certainly something
sorry for the late and shorter reply I got halfway through writing this then went to do something then just fell asleep and I just got a notification that ponk is live! and I’m awake so Imma go watch them
Jack Mulletfold I’m on my jack manifold mullet truther arc
The 9 year old thing was bad and I also hated the c!dream was 13 during the l’manburg war thing too like no this is all so much funnier if they are the ages that they are now. And like father like son fundy tried to set a timeline up too (his it’s been a year comment) like no dude stop time doesn’t exist unless it’s real world
With watching streams I’m the exact same way but I usually tune into quackity and tommy’s chill streams as well. I think it’s because I know them enough to care about what they’re saying so the lack of mental stimulation is made up for by my want to care
Wait fuck with the dentist thing would c!techno actually have to go to a vet instead because of anatomy stuff or-
C!Dream is probably missing a few teeth and after not brushing so long ugh
I would joke that c!sapnap’s done nothing wrong but I haven’t forgiven him for henry
I simply don’t user twitter I tried to post a shit post but I don’t understand the tagging system so it flopped. Stopped using it there and then. say what you want about me but you guys gotta know that I’m a petty bitch first and foremost. With the “harassment” stuff I’ve had my fair share of sending anons asking people to tag stuff right and half the time they just say why and then don’t do it. You wanna know why? Please thats why. I have a real issue with the abuse apologist stuff because like bro that’s a serious accusation and it’s overall just seems super inappropriate. It usually doesn’t get to me but if I’m in the wrong mood it can really fuck me up. When cc!wilbur said that every character was morally gray and that c!dream apologists were right & wrong about somethings I was kinda like “oh thank god a streamer I like doesn’t hate me for liking c!dream” and was hella embarrassed that I even let it get me that far skdhfk. Oh yeah about people blocking you there are so many people who have me blocked on here and while I totally encourage using your block button liberally and often I still notice and its like aw man… creeper…… so we back in the mines…….
You’re gonna have to be a little more specific I feel lije foolish has done a lot of lore, though I think I’ve missed most of it. Are you talking about truing to break into the prison? Hilarious that every character despite their opinion on c!dream has at one point attempted to break into the prison. If only c!dream knew that the only common enemy the server needed was a building they were supposed to stay out of
dont say sorry that’s illegal (/j) also the thing I like about anon is that you can come back and respond when ever is best for you? Makes me feel like an old western bar tender who is just vibing. That’s the dream social interaction tbh
1 note · View note
ziracona · 4 years ago
Note
And I hate to do this- So on that thread, not that he's as bad, why do you think Michael is redeemable? (and also Frank) Especially by his main victim? :? I hope that isn't as bad or as judgmental as I think it sounds... - Sleepy (its like 5am here :3 living up to my name i see)
So, these I gave a short and a long answer for under cut, but forgot I’m on mobile and can’t do that. I can tag it “long post” but uhhh, sorry about this. Anyway, thats why Frank comes in two chunks. I wrote it expecting to be able to use a read more. :’-] also ya fine. And I hope you’re in bed 🤣 now. Okay so. Here’s my reasons:
For Michael, to start, Halloween is complicated af. You have to know what timeline people are talking about, because there are like 8+ and Michael has been written as a wildly different character by wildly different content creators, and I would not feel the same ways towards them all. They’re not the same character. When I talk about Michael, unless I’m going on about a specific other film, I mean either H20 canon, or DbD canon, which are in line with each other when it comes to characterization. (This also includes Halloween’s 1 & 2 in the H20 line, and Halloween 1 at least in DbD). In those timelines, Michael has like at best 2% agency and choice in his own life and what he becomes. That’s why I am sympathetic. I still root for Laurie to nail his ass to the wall of course, and everything he has done to hurt someone isn’t okay just because his life is unfair & awful & out of his control, but I still find him a very tragic character. He was canonically suffering violent psychosis his parents refused him treatment for, isolated with a monster as his doctor & only human contact for 15 years from age 6 on, overdosed on medications that when OD’d worsen psychosis symptoms and can cause permanent brain damage, and stuck like that until escaping briefly when he turned 21.
In Halloween canon, Michael tells his parents he hears voices telling him to do bad things like hurt people, but they tell him he is imagining stuff, and ignore his attempts to get help. The voices say they will be quiet, which is what he desperately wants, if he kills his sister Judith. So he does, at age six. Scientifically speaking, that’s literally too young to really have a complete grasp on death and mortality itself, let alone complex ethics. He immediately goes to his parents after doing the deed, so they can do whatever they need to do. Instead of getting him help, he is sentenced to 15 years in a 1960s American sanitorium (hell), until he turns 21 and can be tried for murder as an adult (fucking ridiculous and unfair?? Tried as an adult is for like, upper teens who commit heinous murders. How tf you justify trying a six year old literally too young to really understand murder as an adult for murdering someone??). They give him to Dr. Sam Loomis, a fucking horrible person, who says he spends 8 years trying to help Michael (a fkn lie), but canonically by only a few months of meeting the kid is thoroughly convinced he is evil, the devil or a demon in human form, faking his psychosis and side effect symptoms (trauma induced mutism from killing his sister, onset of catatonia/motion loss symptoms, etc, all of which are common with his disorder & trauma), desperate to kill again, and an evil mastermind doing the devil’s work, and says so. Spends four hours every day accusing Michael as a six year old child on, of planning to do horrible things and faking his illness and being a demon and not a human, and Loomis, from age 6 to 21, is this kid’s only human contact. And the staff knew it and how wrong and disturbed Loomis was, but did nothing. So from age 6 to 21—barring one or two visits from his mom & Laurie before his dad beat 4 year old Laurie for saying Michael’s, who he hated after Judith’s death, name—until she trauma blocked out having had a brother or sister at all, and then both parents died in a car crash—his only human contact in complete isolation was an adult man who told him for four hours a day he was an evil lying demon faking his symptoms and plotting murder and not a human and promised he would kill Michael and stop him, from childhood on, and that was it. He was never given an understanding of what was medically wrong with him, or that anything was at all. He was threatened and abused and kept overdosed on drugs for 15 years since early childhood, and his only understanding of the world taught in that absolute isolation, was that he was a demon who wanted to get out and kill again. And the violent psychosis, telling him if he killed both sisters, they would go away and leave him in peace with no more constant noise. With no normal understanding of the world or people or life like he was owed ever given to him, no understanding at all of what you were going through or were aside from the promise drilled into your head you were a monster who wanted to kill every day for 15 years while drugged up? Like, I’m a firm believe people are responsible for their own actions, but in a case as extreme as that, honestly, how else was that ever going to even be able to end? You forget, as a child. Who you used to be. That’s beyond grooming even, it’s being grown in a lab for the sole purpose of someday walking out, taking a large kitchen knife, and killing Laurie Strode. And it’s tragic. It’s unfair. Halloween is a tragedy, not a horror film. It didn’t have to be that way. He wanted help. He asked for help. Loomis is directly and pretty much solely responsible for the lives lost in 1978. You know he won’t even call Michael “him”? The only human he contact he had since age six on called him “it.” And no one stopped any of that. And even then. Even then, even with all that. With the drugs, and the lab grown killer, and all of it? Michael is pretty much the single least sadistic slasher killer there /is/.
Everyone he kills in Halloween? He kills fast. It’s actually kind of boring if you’re expecting a scary slasher, because there’s no chase until Laurie. He just appears, runs you through, and you die. Very fast. And if there is any emotion expressed towards the act of killing or aftermath, it’s not pleasure or hate or happiness, it’s curiosity, because literally everything is something he wasn’t allowed to experience growing up and just has no practical experience with yet. And on top of all that, he also just doesn’t kill people he doesn’t have to. He kills one man for clothes, kills Annie to re-do Judith’s murder since it didn’t work the first time and he needs both sisters for the voices to stop, and he kills Bob and Lynda becuase they stumble onto where he is & are a threat to success. (This + Judith 15 years prior is all the deaths in Halloween period, btw). Michael routinely only kills his target, and anyone who is a threat to success. Literally doesn’t even jump out to kill Bob or attack until Bob opens the door to the closet he was hiding in, and he has been seen. Walks past a security guard and lets him go in H20 becuase he doesn’t see him, steals keys from a mom with her 4 year old kid and doesn’t even hurt them because they don’t see him really either, steals a knife from an old lady making a sandwich who is one foot away but looking the other direction, so he lets her go. Even with all the possible stakes against him, really, Michael is like, the least cruel and most sympathetic and merciful version of that lab grown killer possible, which can only be a testament to the person he was initially/still somehow has managed to keep faint traces of alive inside.
As for Laurie finding him redeemable, answer is threefold I guess, and I’ll start with the most important. 1: in Halloween canon, Laurie cares for Michael and is incredibly sad about what he turned into and wishes he could be different (once she remembers who he is). That’s established canon, not a choice of mine. In Halloween 2, she tries to talk him down before shooting him, and he hesitates when she says his name and lowers his weapon for a moment. In H20, she talks about him a lot & even asks her boyfriend (a psychologist) if he thinks something so traumatic can happen to someone that they can never recover, bc even though she hasn’t seen him in 20 years, he’s still on her heart. She hesitates to kill him once she has him helpless in the finale, and when he reaches out for her hand, she almost cries and starts to reach back because it’s what she has truly wanted for so long. 2: Michael & Laurie are siblings, and that’s a very important relationship to me. Obviously, there’s lines where you cross, it’s fkn over, but it is special, and I’m weak for it. They were both cheated of the good family life they could have had, and I like characters I care for getting recovery and rehabilitation, and I would like them to be able to recover and have whatever fragments of the lives they wanted which are still possible. And then 3: Laurie is his victim, but they’re also both victims of Loomis, and the system, and her parents, and if she does /wish/ for him to be okay and things to be like they were, which was canon before me, so she does, then I think them finding happiness and her relief and new hope in regained family and him redemption and rehabilitation through the quite literally only person he has /ever/ known who treated him well or like even a human at all & is still living, that’s so good. It’s sweet, and it makes sense. I like broken people putting the pieces together and finding ways to be okay. None of the shit that happened to either of them was okay, and Michael sure did fucking do it, but it’s about as “it’s complicated” as literally possible, and Laurie wants him to be her brother again, and Michael deserves a chance to experience personhood enough to want anything like that again too, and I think it’s sweet. To be able to find happiness and peace and a new life in that rubble. It shouldn’t be possible, because Halloween is a tragedy that never gets a happy ending, no matter how many timelines they create or versions they tell, but I wish it could have one. It needs one. At least one, among all the fated tragedies for those two cruelly cursed siblings. They both had their lives stolen. Michael by Loomis, and Laurie by Michael. And I want them to find those stolen lives again. And if they can do it together, that’s a very odd and unusual set of circumstances for that kind of thing, but it’s a very complete way to tell the story. He tried to kill her, but if she asked him to stop and he stopped, if he himself chose to change on his own, when it really, really mattered—decided that it was what he wanted more than all the things he was before, and she decided that was enough, and they could both have a future as family? I like that. It’s a happy ending stolen back.
Long Frank Answer, in case you /have/ read ILM & thus short answer did not answer your question: So. Again, for me, I always talk about Frank as in the version of him I myself write, and I wrote ILM before the archives retcon, and also just ignore them because they’re usually dumb and blatantly contradict well established and longstanding canon. Even then, I usually don’t like Frank though—didn’t like him when I started writing ILM. But Frank has very little established canon character. All there is for sure is he was a foster kid that went through some bad stuff, he met Julie and changed his mind about desperately trying to be homed somewhere other than with Clive bc he liked Julie a lot, he met Susie and Joey, they became a gang chilling in Ormond’s abandoned lodge, then tried to rob a store Joey was fired from, were surprised by a cleaner who grabbed Julie, and Frank impulse stabbed him, freaked, and ordered the others to finish it with him and be in it together. Then before they’d even really finished burying the body, they got snagged. That leaves a whole lot of personality and thoughts and motivations and future choices and person wildly undetermined. Writing, sometimes characters just do their own thing completely out of my control, and I have to adapt. Frank chose not to kill Meg at the end of Tenacity, Adrenaline, & Grit, which surprised me, because he’d been nothing but a dipshit asshole bastard till one minute ago, but I knew it was because he recognized what she’d tried to do at great pain to herself because she wouldn’t bow down and die, and he connected/empathized or sympathized on some level. He also couldn’t go through with killing Quentin immediately after being helped by him in Distortion/Iron Maiden. Neither was like, planned. It’s just who the character was. I was frustrated. I did not want to like or feel sympathy for Frank at all. Then in The Lost, Jeff just fkn hijacked the whole plot and added 20 pages not in the outline because he wanted to be kind to Frank & it’s not like I can stop characters when they do whatever they do. And while writing it, I got to know that the version of Frank Morrison in the world I was writing—which is always the version I refer to/think of him as & write now myself—was not somebody past saving. He’s a piece of shit and he’s done fucked up and inexcusable stuff, and he pays for it. In many ways, Frank gets away with a lot over the course of ILM, but it’s always because characters choose on their own to forgive him, not because they or he doesn’t think it was fucked. And Frank suffers—a lot—for his choices, and has to live through appropriate and large amounts of regret and remorse about stuff he did before the end. He gets the chance to make better choices several times, and mostly he doesn’t. He continues to fuck up. But right near the end, he makes a couple good decisions when it’s down to the wire, sees where his bad choices got him and what he has to live with, and then he does live with it. He almost dies, and then ends up falling on Jeff’s mercy, which he knows he doesn’t deserve and doesn’t expect to get, for a last chance to make it, and because Jeff is an ungodly kind and forgiving soul, he makes it.
Frank isn’t a good person, and he does a lot of stuff that isn’t remotely okay or justified or excused, but he /is/ a kid—the upper end of it, but he’s not a full grown adult. He has every reason to believe nothing of himself or others, a fucked up childhood and life which isn’t his fault, and the Entity got all four Legion kids before they’d even had time to process the one and only violent crime they did (which was unplanned), and it is historically running a PHD in psychological warfare vs everyone. Absolutely none of that excuses or justifies him, but it is an explanation for some of it that is not as bad as say, doing that shit for fun or cruelty or hate or what have you, which makes him a bad person, but one with a lot more humanity left than say, Kenneth. Who is at -100 or something. If he’s still got a lot of humanity left, that means he could be redeemed, and he eventually chooses that path for himself and hits the appropriate “I did something horrible. Fuck. It was really bad. I should not have done it.” “I am really sorry I did this. I feel awful. I’m sorry.” “I cant change it, but I can try to do better and make whatever reparations I can.” “I want to be better, and I am going to try.” necessary stages of actually trying to improve. So, I like him. He did a lot of really awful shit that wasn’t okay, but he was never without sympathetic elements. He does love his friends and his girlfriend, he is a good boyfriend to Julie and selfless towards her and his crew (overall anyway—has even risked death for them very willingly, even the one who was fighting with/kinda hated him), will keep his word in deals and has some semblance of both sympathy and honor, feels guilt, is a kid, did not choose this life but was rather catapulted into it and too weak to climb out once he landed in the mud. All of that together makes him someone I feel sympathy towards and find quite redeemable, so long as he will decide he wants that, which, in ILM, he does. If you just meant Frank in general then idk how to answer because there’s not much established Frank period it’s kinda a shell like all original dead by daylight characters, and I have no thoughts on it by itself because it’s not a whole person, and so I really only think of Frank as ILM verse Frank now.
12 notes · View notes
spohkh · 4 years ago
Note
GOOD AFTERNOON I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION! Please tell me how Dean and Cas would have been if they were raising baby Jack! Also do you think Claire would have babysat for her little brother sometimes if their dads were on a hunt?
HELLO SARAH thank u for this ask that was designed to drive me, specifically, ins*ne ❤️
i feel like... okay. oh this is going to be SO rambling i apologize in advance. 
but ok so we KNOW for a fact that dean is a dad like he is just A DAD it is so integral to his being. he's caring and attentive and isn't afraid of the fact that kids can be gross or annoying because he recognizes that they are KIDS and need patience and care. so i feel like at first dean would just take over the bulk of the care for jack bc its just natural for him at this point. (IM THINKING ABOUT HIM BOUNCING THAT BABY IN WHATEVER EP THAT WAS AND ITS MAKING ME WANT TO CRY. HE IS SO GOOD WITH KIDS HES MEANT TO HAVE KIDS HES SO FULL OF LOVE!!!!) and cas ALWAYS looks to dean first when it comes to learning How To Be Human™ so he'd be watching what dean does to emulate him. i imagine theres a lot of "no no no--you need to support his head like THIS", and, "oh that means he's hungry here this is how you should hold the bottle", at the start of their care for him
GOD WASNT DEAN ALSO HUMMING A ZEPPELIN SONG TO THAT BABY HE WAS BOUNCING IN WHATEVER EPISODE THAT WAS (PLEASE SOMEONE DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT EPISODE IM TALKING ABOUT) HRRGHRGRGHGH LED ZEPPELIN LULLABIES BUT BETTER THAN THAT--BETTER THAN DEAN HUMMING HARD ROCK LULLABIES TO BABY JACK--CAS BEING LIKE OH YEAH THATS GREAT AND CASSSSSS HUMMNING HARD ROCK LULLABIIEISSS TO BABY JACKKKKK I AM GOING SUPERSONIC. 
ALSO its important to rmmbr that jack ISNT fully human so there will be things that only cas will be able to take care of. my fuckng god they really are the perfect pair to care for jack oh god im getting emotional. i have no idea what those angel-specific needs would BE.... like god when jack is especially fussy and his unchecked powers start to come out dean is like okie doke time to tap in the angel husband i cannae handle getting laserbeamed by my infant son rn 😌✌🏼 and cas is like honestly id rather deal with jack trying to suplex me into the fuckng wall than change his diaper. quite simply i must admit you humans are kinda nasty at times god bless. but yeah jack would have ALL of his needs addressed thanks to having a human dad and an angel dad which i think is so key!! and is smth that they did kind of have in the show but due to um fukcng EVERYTHING else going on i felt like his human side was kinda neglected and wasnt developed as much as it couldve/shouldve been, which led to, yknow, a lot of dangerous misunderstandings. jack certainly needs and deserves to have his WHOLE self nurtured and recognized.
also wow itd be so nice to have an eldritch interdimensional being who technically doesnt need sleep as your co-parent bc dean can get ALLLLL he blissful sleep he needs while cas takes care of the nighttime baby needs! UGH perfect
AND YES. OF COURSE CLAIRE WOULD BABYSIT JACK. GOD IF EVER THERE WERE A GIRL DESERVING OF A YOUNGER SIBLING. she has older sister syndrome ANYWAY. also shes dean kin so i think itd be REALLY funny if dean is like are you SURE youre okay to take care of him? remember hes a nephilim like he has powers it can be really dangerous when he gets too worked up. actually forget it we'll call rowena or something i dont want you to get hurt. and claire is like dad. for real. just fuck off and go kill the werewolves or whatev i got this. and when they get back from the hunt they come back and jack is like fast asleep beside claire, who is ofc completely fine, and deans like did nothing happen??? claires like WHO do you think youre talking to of course its all fine he was a perfect angel (snicker snicker) because he likes ME. like jack goes down so easy for claire hes just always so calm and happy with her, never fusses, dean is like WHAT gives like not wanting to admit hes a little jealous that jack has never tried to laserbeam HER and shes like what can i say? sibling privilege. we have an understanding :) like father like daughter shes just a natural caregiver. dean is so proud. cas is so proud. they are so happy. oh my god. they love their kids so much. 
in conclusion. dean and cas would be the most loving parents a baby nephilim could hope for. just today MY dad said to me that parents never want their kids to experience the pain that they have experienced themselves. he said that bc i was upset he wouldnt teach me how to change the light fixture in my closet bc there was a live wire and he didnt want me to get shocked like he has in the past BUT THE SAME PRINCIPLE APPLIES where, i feel like ESPECIALLY for dean, they would do their utmost to raise jack (AND claire) with the care that was so lacking from their own childhood experiences. 
dean certainly tried with sam and did a good job, but he was a kid himself then and wasnt fully equipped to provide all the emotional support a child needs. now, as an adult in a supportive, committed relationship, dean will have the chance to REALLY devote himself in the way he was always meant to. 
and cas...well... whats more human than caring for your child? everyday his love deepens--his love for dean, his love for their little house, his love for the honeybees and the clouds in the sky. all things he was never meant to have any feelings for, he just loves and loves and loves more because of the little life he has with dean and claire and now his little baby. everyday he becomes more himself because of his love for his family, and he pours all of that back into them. he is just so adoring. he listens to every sound jack makes with keen attention, committing every nonsensical syllable to memory, because its all important. he wants to make sure jack knows how loved he is and how recognized he is and how appreciated he is, just for existing. he wants jack to feel seen and known, in the ways he never was by his own father.
the way dean and cas are with baby jack is that they try. fundamentally thats what its all about. just trying. because u love so much. thank u
2 notes · View notes
moonflower-31 · 4 years ago
Text
Confessions - Sabriel Rapunzel AU
Part 7 
Part 6 
Part 5 
Part 4 
Part 3 
Part 2 
Part 1 
As they walked down the tunnel, Gabriel walked behind Sam, summoning a torch when he wasn't looking. Then he ran back up to Sam's side.
"So... let me get this straight... what exactly is off limits for me to ask about?" He asks, giving Sam a confused look, glancing at Crowley who continuously gave him the stink eye.
Sam smiled and laughed a bit, pushing a strand behind his ear again. "Okay, well, just don't ask about anything that doesn't--consern you, alright?" He settles. Gabriel rolled his eyes.
"You gotta give me specifics. I already know your father is off-limits, can't talk about the hair cause you're like--crazy afraid someone will steal it or cut it," He starts. Sam nods as he mentions each one.
"Yep, those are definitely none of your buisness." He says, smirking a bit as he looked at him. "By the way how did you find a torch? This place is pretty pitch black." Sam asks, chuckling nervously.
Gabriel looked at him, slightly in a panic. "Oh... you know, just found one on the wall, used flint and steel, the hard ways of life." He insists.
Sam gave him another weird look, and was about to press the issue further. Until light began coming through the end of the tunnel they were coming from, and the sound of guards filtered in.
Gabriel widened his eyes and grabbed Sam by the hand. "No time for questions! Let's just go-!" He exclaimed, pulling Sam through the tunnel as he ran. Sure, he wanted to use his tired and unused wings, but again that would give it all away now wouldn't it?
Sam widened his eyes as he was pulled. "Wait what-?!" He called to Gabriel, feeling uneasy as he was pulled through the tunnel.
Gabriel ignored him and kept pulling him along until they saw more light and they exited the tunnel. Sam looked down, and almost shrieked when he realized how high up they were.
"Loki. You had better have a plan for this!" He exclaimed, looking at Gabriel with a panicked look. Sam rolled his eyes and gave Gabriel his frying pan.
"Just try not to die, please." He says before he launched his hair that he had begun to bundle up and swung to the other side of the canyon.
Gabriel widened his eyes at Sam. "You couldn't have taken me too?!" He exclaimed just as the guards, lead by Dean came through.
Dean grinned triumphantly. "I've waited a long, long time for this one. And you aren't even Loki, are you?" He teased, making Gabriel widen his eyes.
Gabriel panicked, and swung the frying pan, knocking Dean out cold. He let out a shocked laugh and looked back at the guards.
"This, is absolutely the strangest thing I've ever done!" He exclaimed, swinging it again as each guard came at him, knocking them each unconscious.
Once each of the guards were on the ground, Gabriel let out a chuckle. "Oh father I have got to get me one of these!!" He exclaimed, before he heard a neigh sound beside him. He gripped the frying pan in his hand and aimed it at the incoming threat.
Then his triumphant smile faded to one that expressed 'Oh shit-' as he saw the horse, the one who could freaking talk, with a knife in his mouth.
Gabriel gulped and began to fight with the pan, smacking against the horse's jaw and face and its blade. The horse was much more matched though, as when he swung, he knocked the pan straight out of Gabriel's hand.
Immediately Gabriel held up his hand in defeat as the horse held the knife in his face.
"Loki-!" Sam called, before tossing his hair over to Gabriel. "Grab on!" He exclaimed.
Gabriel smirked, and gestured with his hand 'adios' to the horse as he was pulled to the water filter lines. He immediately began to run down them, in which the horse then followed.
"Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-" Gabriel cursed as he felt the filter lines under him begin to heave under his weight.
"Curse all of those cupcakes-!" He swore as the lines finally fell, and the canyon began to fill with water from the dam that the filters were collecting it from.
Sam jumped from the ledge he was at and heaved Gabriel away from the wreckage. "You're gojng to drown you idiot!" he yelled at him. Gabriel rolled his eyes. He knew that he himself wasn't going to drown. But Sam was.
Gabriel grunted as he ran, pulling Sam close to him and holding his waist. "Now you're going to also! What were you thinking?!" He exclaimed as he kept  running.
Behind him, a familiar face called out a different name than what Sam knew. "Gabriel!" He called.
Gabriel cursed under his breath. "Fuck, let's just get the hell out of here-!" He called.
Sam raised an eyebrow. "B-but who does he mean by G-Gabriel-!" He asked, not being able to finish his question as Gabriel tugged him forward.
Sam's feet were beginning to ache from running without any foot coverage. He knew he wouldn't be able to run much farther. He surveyed the canyon, searching for a way out when he found a small cavern at the edge.
The water was quickly approaching, so they had no choice and no time to test and see if the cavern was deep. Sam pointed at the cave, and Gabriel nodded, running towards it as fast as he could. At least as fast as his vessel could.
A large column of rock began to tumble towards them from the strength of the water pushing it forward. They reached the cave with seconds to spare, with Sam tugging the rest of his hair into the cave and Gabriel snatching up the frying pan that had been swept back to them. As soon as he grabbed the frying pan and pulled it back, the rock collided with the cave's entrance, trapping the three inside.
Crowley curled up in Sam's hair, shivering from fear. Sam was pressed against the back of the cave, and cursed as he couldn't find an immediate way out.
Gabriel sighed as he pressed his hand over a few of the rocks, trying to sense and see if they would lead to their way out. As he did so, he pulled at rocks, trying to see if maybe his grace would work better if he were closer to the surface. In doing so he scrapped his hand, making him hiss and pull his hand back in pain.
"Shit-" he cursed, holding his hand. Sam frowned at his hand, and began to think of how to tell him that he can heal him. Then the water began to fill the cavern up. Slowly, but still entering through the cracks the rock had left.
Gabriel cursed again, knowing he had to save Sam from this watery prison. He took a deep breath for simplicity and dove under the deep, dark and musty water, unable to find anything.
He cursed again and came back up to the surface, wincing at his cut hand. Sam leaned against the wall, feeling terrible and defeated.
Sam watched Gabriel with a sad look. He already knew it was no use. But he was going to try anyway.
Sam took a big gulp of air and tried to search under the rising water for an exit. Gabriel widened his eyes, panicking for Sam's safety as he pulled him back up.
"It's no use, Sam. The water is pitch black. You can't see anything." He assures Sam in a calmer voice. Gabriel got a bit confused. Why now? Was it because after so long of pretending to be human his head was telling him he was going to die? Was he finally admitting to something he refused to acknowledge? No, no he wasn't. Angels didn't love humans. It was crazy. Wasn't it?
Sam slightly sobbed, leaning against Gabriel with a hiccup in his chest. "I'm sorry... I never should have left my stupid tower... then you wouldn't..." Sam whimpers, tears running down his cheeks.
Gabriel felt something halt in his chest, a feeling maybe. He hesitantly wrapped an arm around Sam, holding him close to his frame and sighing, looking down at the rapidly rising water. So this was it. This was going to be his end. He'd spend forever down here because the water wasn't going to go away and it was too dark to see anything. He was going to waste away here with Sam withering away with him.
Was it too late for confessions?
Gabriel tilted Sam's chin up from where he had been hunched down in the water. "Hey... since... since this is kinda the end for me, I wanted you to know I..." he started. He was going to be here forever. No one would find out.
Sam wiped his eyes and stood up again, holding onto Gabriel. "You what?" He asks, sniffling.
Gabriel let out a sigh before he finally continued. "My real name isn't Loki. I... I'm not even human. My name is Gabriel." He confessed, closing his eyes shamefully. He felt bad for keeping this from Sam all of a sudden. Was it really that much of a burden on him? He guessed so.
Sam chuckled sadly, holding onto Gabriel still and sniffling. "Well... no one else is gonna know, right?" He asks in a sad laugh. Gabriel smiled mournfully and nodded.
"I... I have magic hair that glows when I sing." He admits, looking down at the rising water. Gabriel gives Sam a bewildered look.
"Wait... what?" He asks, squeezing Sam closer. Sam widened his eyes, looking at Gabriel as he realized with a smile.
"I have--magic hair that glows when I sing!" He reiterates in an exclaimation. He looks down at the water that was now at his shoulders and began to sing the spell as the water finally rose above their heads.
"Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine-" he sang quickly before taking in a large gulp of air before the water engulfed them.
A few seconds pass before a golden glow can be seen in the water. Gabriel lets out a bit of his air he had taken in in surprise. Sam forced his eyes open, and looked for where they could maybe find a way out.
Thats when he saw his hair being drawn towards an area of rocks that seemed looser than the others. Sam gave Gabriel a look before he swam towards the cluster of rocks and began pulling the rocks away, clearing an opening.
Gabriel hissed a bit as his hand got more irritated. He'd have to heal it when they reached the surface. Sam took over and started to pull the rocks away faster, and finally reached the other side, his arm pushing through.
After a good long and hard push from both of them, the wall of rocks caved in, and the three were launched out of the cavern.
Gasping, they both heaved themselves onto the shore. Sam looked over at Gabriel and raised an eyebrow as he panted. "I-I thought you weren't...weren't human, how come you need air?" He chuckled weakily.
Gabriel glared at him in annoyance as he pulled himself back onto the ground, offering Sam his hand. Sam took it and Gabriel pulled him onto the grass.
"Hey, pretending to be human for so long, you kinda have habits you can't get rid of." He explains, pulling Sam over and away from the water.
Gabriel takes a seat on a fallen log, and starts to manually dry his clothes with his grace.
Sam glances over at him as he wrings out his hair one portion at a time. "You know, I could use a bit of help over here." He teased. Gabriel rolled his eyes and faced his cut hand towards Sam, and began to try and use his grace.
Sam instead scooted himself closer, taking Gabriel's hand in his. "Wait, just... let me do this, okay?" He asks. Gabriel raised an eyebrow.
"What are you going to do?" He asks. He looks down and sees Crowley curl up in Sam's hair, almost expectant.
Sam sighed and looked up into Gabriel's eyes. "Look, my hair... it doesn't just glow." He starts. Gabriel raised an eyebrow, shaking his head in confusion.
Sam sighed and wrapped Gabriel's hand in his hair. He didn't care that Crowley had been in his hair. Though the rat had never actually done it before.
"Just... please, you said you aren't human so, don't freak out, alright?" He says, giving Gabriel a wary look.
Gabriel mouths a 'what' before Sam starts to sing again, forcing him to be quiet.
"Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine," he starts, the roots of his hair beginning to glow. Gabriel widens his eyes again, thankful to be able to see the magic in person and without being on Death's dinner plate.
"Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine," Sam continues, more of his hair taking on the golden glow. "Heal what has been hurt, change the fates design," he sings, closing his eyes as he sang. Almost like he'd had to do this over and over again. A thousand times.
"Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine, what once was mine." He finishes, and then looks up at Gabriel, taking his hair off of his hand, which now had no sign of ever being cut in the first place.
Gabriel widened his eyes, and almost began to freak out at how in the hell a human had that ability, when he looked behind Sam, and immediately stood up, pulling him behind him. A figure had been standing behind him, a rather rounded figure.
"I said don't freak out-oh my god what is that?!" Sam exclaimed, hiding behind Gabriel.
"You really don't recognize me, Moose? Of course I am missing the little pink tail and buck teeth. Would you like me to squeak for you?" A british accent asks, the figure stepping over to them. Into the light steps a man who was now dressed in a suit-like attire with a red tie to match. He had a black beard that wasn't too long, and his hairline was receeding.
Sam tilted his head in confusion, stepping forward. "C-crowley?" He asks. The man smirked and rang an invisible bell.
"We have a winner, this one. Yes, I was your little rat friend. Your 'father' cursed me. I was just trying to help you." He says in an annoyed voice.
Sam still stood there in shock. This was really Crowley? The rat that always gave him advice? Perhaps.
Sam then smiled at Crowley, pulling him into a tight hug.
Crowley let out a sound of discomfort, and waited for Sam to stop the hug. "Thank you... well, I'm not one for affection, sorry." He admits, running a hand up and down his suit.
Sam broke the hug and rubbed his neck. "S-sorry... I just... I never knew. I would have helped you sooner if I did." He says.
Crowley shrugged. "There is only so much you can say when you are a two toothed rodent that only eats cheese." He says, looking over at Gabriel.
Gabriel was still in disbelief, running a hand through his own hair. "So-so you're like... you were cursed?" He asks.
Crowley rolls his eyes. "Yes, how many times must I say it?" He asks, gesturing at him. "For an angel you are really stupid." He says.
Sam does a double take and looks between Gabriel and Crowley. "A-an angel?" He asks.
Gabriel rubbed his neck. "Told ya I wasn't human." He admits. Sam puts his head in his hands and shook his head.
"Okay... lets... lets just build a fire. We need to settle in for the night anyway." He says, looking back up at Gabriel.
Gabriel winked and nodded. "Sure thing." He says, snapping his fingers and building a fire out of thin air.
Sam rolled his eyes and looked at the fire Gabriel just conjured out of thin air. This was all too much. The flame was real, he checked as soon as the fire came into existance.
Gabriel took a seat again. "So, are we asking questions now? Cause I got one for you Moose." He says, looking at Sam.
Sam looked up from the fire and away from his thoughts. "Hm? What?" He asks. Crowley narrowed his eyes at Gabriel, wary of what he was going to ask.
Gabriel cleared his throat at Crowley's stare, gulping for a moment. "Anyway... Sam, what's with that one brown strand of hair? Its like, the only part that didn't glow when you sang." He asks. Crowley growled and Sam put a hand on his shoulder to assure him Gabriel wasn't in the wrong.
"Well... when I was young, my father told me some people tried to cut my hair when I was born. And when they did..." he stopped, pulling the strand into his lap. "It turned dark brown. It lost its power. So he resolved to keeping me in the tower. To keep me and this gift safe." He explains, running his hand through the darker strand.
Gabriel opened his mouth to speak, but as his eyes trailed up he gulped. He cleared his throat and stood up. "You know what? I'm... I'm gonna go get some more fire wood. Crowley, come with me. I could use the help." He says, and soon after walks away, Crowley behind him, grumbling in annoyance.
Sam smiled at Gabriel as he walked away, before he heard a rustle behind him.
6 notes · View notes