#and that fucked me up a bit. i dont think it is. not openly saying how much im heartbroken and angry at this whole thing doesn't mean im

[transexualpirate]

"believe victims first always" "a rich white man does not need your protection" and "your mental health comes first" "you don't need to make a statement about anything" are all statements that absolutely should coexist btw

[readymades2002]

it is very frustrating because my mom does not know What The Deal Is but she certainly Suspects (for good reason. to be fair to her.) and she has Insinuated and she has Implied but she has not asked anything specifically. and its...not unreasonable for her to do this i guess because the last relationship i was in i didn't tell her for a year and a half. because the relationship BEFORE that was my first and it was with a girl and i asked her EXPLICITLY AND URGENTLY to not tell my dad about it because he was a massive homophobe and i knew this and saw this where she did not and she told him anyway and i have not trusted her since though, having few other options, i have continued to confide in her things that i should not confide in her that have then mysteriously made their way through all our shared coworkers back to me. and its.....its so. i don't know what to do about it. she..."stalked" is the wrong word but she followed my blog against my wishes and knowledge as a child and the more i lost trust in her and stopped talking to her the more she pried into my private life. i know my sister had similar experiences with her. and it has created this cycle where i keep trying to keep her out for my own privacy and dignity and safety and she just gets even more desperate and pathetic trying to get in after breaking my trust over and over and OVER again but i live with her and depend on her for far too many things and so it just. is this. awesomesauce

[toxic3mmy]

I need black out drunk Alex to beg you to fuck him and it ends up being kind of cnc (not rape js cnc)

u guys are killing me with these requests, they’re SO good🫦🫦

prompt: you and alex fire up an old flame between the two of you

warnings! smut!! [both parties are not sober!!]

alex was drunk. you and your mutual friend group were out at a summer house party.

people were all over this huge house. they were smoking, drinking, and even doing other substances that you quickly would look away from because woah.

anyways, alex was really really drunk. you and him were close once but things were different now, honestly. you both had a small thing together but it quickly ended when his ex wanted him back.

he shouldn’t have drank so much… you shook those thoughts away. you assumed someone else would step in and take care of him.

you had a few drinks in you but nothing too major, considering you had only been at the party for a few hours. it was just enough to let you shed your usual shy personality and be able to easily talk to the people around you.

you didn’t even realize that your body had led you to the dance floor. they were playing some really good music and you couldn’t help but move your body to the beat.

you felt a warmth at your hips and look behind you to see rubius dancing with you. you smiled and began to press yourself up against him, your ass on his dick. you felt his warm breath tickle your neck as he told you how beautiful you looked tonight. you turned around and held him close to you as you continued dancing. the two of you had been together basically all night. you were flirting openly and neither of you really cared.

from the corner of your eye, you saw alex near the kitchen. he had an angry look on his face, almost like he wanted to punch something or someone. you made eye contact with him and he rolled his eyes as rubius began to kiss your neck.

alex held a bottle of tequila and tipped it back, taking a huge gulp straight from the bottle. you were starting to worry about him but rubius caught your attention.

“c’mon hermosa, let me take you home tonight” he asked in a flirty manner

“o-oh… i—”

a huge crash cut you off. both you and rubius quickly made your way to where alex had fallen over in the kitchen

“alexis, let me help you—”

“fuck you rubius…” alex slurred, wiping his face from the alcohol that had spilled

rubius was concerned and very confused about what he did but before he could make the situation worse. you stepped in, quickly sobering up

“alex, let’s go home, yeah?” you cooed gently, helping him up to his feet

you held him steady as you walked through the crowd and out of the house together. you drove to alex’s house in silence. the atmosphere felt tense and you weren’t sure what to say.

instead, you said nothing and helped alex out of your car and to his front door. you opened the door and let the two of you in.

“lets get you to bed” you whispered and did just that

after you tucked alex into his comforter, you let him know you’d be on his back porch smoking a bit since there wasn’t much alcohol left in your system.

you smoked your weed for a little over twenty minutes and heard a notification from your phone. smiled at your phone as you saw that rubius had messaged you about having fun with you tonight.

“talking with your queue of men? or is it just my son of a bitch best friend?”

you nearly pissed your pants as alex’s unexpected presence scared you. you quickly put your phone away to avoid any arguing.

“hey.. why are you out of bed? you need some rest, lexie” you said, putting out your joint

“dont call me that” he said through gritted teeth

“w-what? alex, are you okay?”

“no. i’m not okay. you know exactly what you were doing at the party. tell me y/n, how many of my friends have you fucked behind my back?”

“excuse me?” you said, not believing what he was saying to you

“you heard me. i saw you all over rubius. and i know you’re probably sleeping with all of my other friends, too. do you seriously think any of them can compare to me?”

you didnt have time to respond before alex pulled you flush against his shirtless body.

“c’mon y/n… you know you miss me. you miss the way i fill you up completely, don’t you? please… please let me fuck you, sweet girl”

“i don’t— no… alex, you’re drunk” you shook your head

“please y/n… look at what you do to me” he whined, reaching forward and placing your hand on his clothed hard on

“alex….”

“i’m begging you, you don’t know how much i need that sweet little pussy of yours… please, princesa”

“i—”

“please dont say no yet...”

“what do you mean?” you asked

he grabbed your hand and took you inside. he took you into his bedroom, or more like you helped him as he was still not able to walk normally. he gently sat you on his bed and you didn’t know what to do.

your head hurt from smoking way too much and your thoughts were foggy from it, too. you let him lay you down. he started to run his fingers lightly from your legs up to your face

“y/n… i’ve wanted this for so long. i’ve missed you so much. i’m so sorry it took so long for me to say something. and im especially sorry that i let my jealousy get the best of me tonight. i thought drinking would help distract me from seeing you and rubius… but it only made me want you more”

“are you sure you want this? we’re both not sober… what if this isn’t what’s right?” you asked worriedly

“baby, ill always want you. sober or drunk, i want you. do you understand?” he said genuinely

you thought about what he was saying and you realized you wanted him too, sober or high.

he smiled as he leaned in to kiss you. as your lips connected, you felt an eruption of warmth spread from your belly to every part of your body. his lips made your head spin and you loved it.

“you feel so good, lexie”

“and you taste so good, baby”

as your tongues fought for dominance, you felt yourself slowly change positions. you were now sat on his lap and kissing him deeply.

your hands found their way into his hair as his hands rested on your naked thighs.

when did you take your clothes off? you were in only your panties and bra now and alex in his boxers. alex pulled away, only a line of saliva connecting your mouth to his. he began to tug at your bra, wanting it off

“i want to see you” he whimpered softly into your neck as he finally unclasped your bra and threw it aside

he felt almost feral at the sight of your naked breasts sitting prettily in front of him. his breath was caught in his throat at the sight.

“you look so beautiful like this, so pretty and needy for me” he praised

he began to suck and nip at your neck, one of his hands rolled one of your nipples in between his fingers while his other hand was in between your legs. his fingers teased your wetness, only slightly dipping a finger halfway into you. he’d quickly take it out and trace circles around your entrance, making you clench, needing more.

“please… don’t stop” you whispered into his hair as a mix of the weed and the pleasure he was giving you took over your every last sense

“i wouldn’t dream of it” his mouth was now sucking at your tits eagerly as you let out more and more whiny moans

you reached in front of you and took his thick and leaking cock out of his boxers. your hand slowly wrapped around him as you teasingly rubbed at his tip. in response, he bit down harshly on your nipple and you couldn’t help the moan that escaped your throat.

“s-sorry hermosa, its just… you still remember how i like it” he gasped and chuckled soon after

you smiled and began to move your hand slowly as he rubbed your clit at the same pace. the two of you kissed one another as you touched each other intimately and slowly.

you took your panties off and lifted yourself up a bit, making sure to sit right on his cock. his face was scrunched up in pleasure as he let out incoherent whines.

“god… yes… oh fuck, just like that…” he said as his hands made their way to your hips, helping you steady yourself on his lap

you lifted yourself up and sat down eagerly with him buried inside of you.

“you’re all mine y/n, not ruibius’, and not anyone else’s. did you miss me? did you miss how good i fuck your brains out, hm? just look at how desperately you’re riding me” he touched your face gently and suddenly grabbed your chin and harshly faced you to him

“look at me when im talking to you, slut. did you enjoy having other men fuck you when we weren’t together? i bet none of them were this good, were they?”

“n-no..” you managed to choke out

“tell me im the best cock you’ve ever had, tell me baby” he said as he began to fuck into you at a faster and rougher pace

“y-you’re the best i’ve ever had”

“aw, you can do better than that. be a good girl yeah? tell me again or don’t even think about cumming”

“ive never been fucked so well… i dream of your cock, i need you alex please”

“that’s right sweetheart, so then,” he flipped your positions, having you faced down into the bed while he fucked you from behind, “who’s pussy is this? who does this pussy belong to, hm?”

“y-yours.. its yours”

“nuh-uh, you can do better than that” he shook his head, a smirk on his face

“this pussy is all yours alex, please let me cum, please”

“well, since you asked so nicely”

he fucked into you like his life depended on it. one of his hands was on your ass while his other was rubbing your sensitive clit. his hips snapped against your ass, making a loud noise as the two of you filled the room with panting symphonies of moans.

“im close, so c-close”

“shhh, its okay baby. i need you to take my load, okay? and i need you to cum with my cock inside of your cunt”

you nodded with tears of pleasure in your eyes. you felt yourself getting closer and closer. you shut your eyes as your body trembled and your pussy clenched tightly, your own juices seeping out of you. with a few more thrusts, alex came inside of you hotly.

the two of you cleaned up and fell asleep together, deciding to deal with the situation tomorrow when the two of you were sobered out.

[writingoddess1125]

You Cook For them even though you suck at it-

Buggy, Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Shanks, Mihawk

Buggy

You you offer to cook for him he is hesitant. Buggy is actually a great cook and will take over making food for you if he catches you in the kitchens of the Big Top.

"I don't know about that (Y/N)-" He would say quickly as you smile at him.

"It will be fine I promise! I've gotten better!" No the fuck you hadnt- he shouldn't have trusted you with this when you set down a bowl of slop.

"Oh What the fuck (Y/N)!? What is this?! Why is it still moving?" He yelled poking some form of meat with a spoon and watching it twitch back.

"It's just rare!" You argue back. "Rare my ass!!" He yelled before forcing himself to take a bite.

He quite literally falls apart to the ground.

Luffy

Luffy would be excited that you offered to cook for him. Being too happy to ignore the weird smell from the kitchen and from the bowl you set down.

He quickly tucked in, eating away at the bowl until it was gone and smiling brightly at you.

"Thank you for the meal (Y/N)!" He said cheerfully, you smiled excitedly.

"Did it taste good?" He stares at you for a moment like he was thinking. "No it was pretty disgusting" you stare at him shocked.

"Why did you eat it then?" You question at his bluntness of willing to eat something gross.

"Cause you made it!" Eh Good enough-

Zoro

Is equally as bad as a cook as you- So when the two of you come together it only means chaos.

"Zoro im going make us a special meal!" You chime, watching him nod and follow along.

In the kitchen he drinks as he watches you attempt to cook. Even using his sword to cut up random vegetables and fruit. Once done it is a jet black color pouring out purple steam- He stares at it a bit afraid before taking a bite.

Zoro body would lock up- Like he had been hit with electricity. His eyes beginning to water and he grabbed the booze again to down if quickly- all of it very quickly.

"....That was awful-"

He manages to groan out as he rubbed his face.

Sanji

Will be head over heals for you, and when you offer to cook for him his whole body freezes- His eyes wide and practically screaming to not have this done-

"M-My Love! My Sweet! No need for that I can cook for us!" He insist sweat hitting his brow.

"No No, You cook for us every night! Let me do it!" You'd insist and go into his kitchen. It would quickly turn into a battle of if he loved food more then you- Once he sees you hold the knife wrong and damn near cut off a finger he steps in.

Shaking his head at this and taking the knife from you.

"Please dont- Love you um.. are cookingly challenged- I'm taking over"

Before he kicks you out of his kitchen.

Usopp

Usopp has actually pretty good taste in food, He enjoys food and has been heavily pampered by Sanji's cooking and food he be served when visiting Kaya.

So when you offer him food at first he's happy and talks about his experiences as a 'Chef' but when you bring down a half burned and half raw fish that still seemed to be twitching and some other odd trimmings that seemed to be stewed.

"Uhhh (Y/N)- you made this?"

He would question as he stared at the questionable plate.

"Yep!" Hearing your cheery voice he tries to sweet talk and lie his way around eating it at first. But once you insist he would nod and take a hefty bite. His face draining of all color as he chewed, forcing himself to swallow as he sits frozen.

"Usopp?-"

He ends up fainting-

Shanks

Shanks will try anything once, however he found out early on that you couldnt cook- While he never openly confronts you about it he does know damn well you shouldn't be near a kitchen.

Once you offer to cook for him he is jovial as normal and supportive. However when you bring out the bowl of- what looked like what a sea beast would vomit he started to sweat. Taking a big swig of his booze before taking a bite.

His whole body shivered in disgust and paled. Slowly trying to chew as he gave you a watery smile.

"It's alright It's Alright-"

Shanks said, his face turning purple as he tried to keep the food from coming back up as quickly as it came.

Mihawk

While it may be surprising but Mihawk is the pickiest of eaters- So when you say you made him a meal, He tries to hold himself back from making any comments before he's seen it.

'Maybe it's not that bad?...'

He thinks as he takes a seat at the dining room table. Waiting quietly as he hears you clattering in the kitchen- however he knew knew it would be unpleasant when the smell hits him. You step out cheery and happy as a massive bowl is set infront of him. His eyes widened at the sight- he had seen many horrible things in his life but nothing like this-

"Why is it that color?-" He would ask as you explained away that you didn't know the exact ingredients to make it so you improvised. Mihawk took a shaky breath and leaned down to give a sniff- once the fowl odor hit his nose he pushed the bowl back.

"(Y/N) Darling. You can't cook- I can't eat this... I love you dearly but whatever is in this bowl has been damned"

[writtenicarus]

The Hate On Jegulus Shippers recently

aka, me saying what im sure a lot of us are thinking (please reblog and share xx) love you all

Hi everyone, I'm em. As you probably know if you follow me, I have never sugar-coated my feelings and never given a fuck about speaking on how I feel. Today I'll be addressing the extreme amount of hate us jegulus shippers have been receiving. To clarify, I myself have been a receiver of death threats because I ship this since I was 13, A CHILD. And I will also soon be deleting my responses to all the hateful asks as I don't want my page to be a negative space. So it no longer affects me, but I'd like to speak just incase it has been affecting any other shippers

To begin with @jilyserrr is a big contributor to this hate, and I have no problem naming and shaming. This..creature..seems to be fine with openly telling us to die, so this thing should be okay with me mentioning it! Anyways, a lot of anons have been attacking jegulus shippers too. And to be honest, I don't care, but I know a lot of people are getting frustrated. Because at the end of the day, has it ever occurred to you that we don't give a shit what you have to say? The anons telling us to die and that we're pieces of shit are obviously trolls and as annoying as they are, it can be dealt with.

But unfortunately there seem to be other people who think they're, let's just say, moral heroes that want to involve themselves too. and I'm sorry, but as a sapphic woman I'm going to say this, "but you guys don't write about wlw ships" WE DONT CARE. "you don't represent wlw ships" BECAUSE WE COULDN'T CARE LESS. im sorry, but people are literally afraid to admit it, so i will say it for them. we don't write about that content because, simply, we do not care for it. its not our thing. i love women, big fan of tits don't get me wrong mate, but id rather write about the boys, and guess what that's fine.

we as writers have a right to write whatever we like because it's our creative outlet, and shipperd have the right to enjoy content that makes them happy. because at the end of the day, who cares what you ship? we all deserve to enjoy our favourite characters.

you don't have to play martyr in our ask boxes with your misogynistic claims, because honestly it's a bit embarrassing. im a queer woman. that makes no fucking sense.

in summary, call me whatever you like because quite frankly i do not give a shit, but leave out the death threats and annoying ask boxes because it's not gonna change us. we're not gonna wake up and randomly want to off ourselves and ship every woman together that exists in the fandom. i know we base our fandom on wizards, but this isn't really magic.

oh and by the way, shoving women together because you view them as having less value on their own is misogynistic, not the other way around. thanks!

[fanganfessions]

vent !! chapter 2 ep 15 spoilers

god and i cant even begin to express how much i hate veronika after this last episode. i was already beginning to have mixed feeling about her after being harassed by a few veronika defenders which only caused for me to not like her more out of spite. but my god the way she kept antagonizing ace seriously broke me. this man expresses how he was offended and all veronika can say is: "Oh, that hit a nerve. Didn't it?" what kind of person says those kinds of things?? thats just so cruel. maybe part of the reason why i hate veronika is because she reminds me so much of my sister. my sister is 10x worse than veronika but i cant but wanna claw my eyes out when i see her. shes a constant reminder that my feelings arent valid and i will never be anything more than something to make fun of. because thats exactly what she does to ace.

just for now im muting all the drdt tags besides any related to ace. i dont wanna see anything about any other character besides him. because it'll just remind me that not even the fandom appreciates ace as much as i do. they all care about everyone else. for fucks sake even hu and arturo are more liked than ace when they have contributed nothing useful besides a tiny bit of lore here and there.

just hearing ichiko aoba humming makes me think of last night where i cried over ace. its so calming but also so traumatizing because just hearing it reminds me of him. honestly i didnt think some jockey would impact me this much but god it hurts like a bitch.

i just want more ace content. seeing people positively talking about ace and making things for him makes me feel loved. when people express how much they love ace and dont want him to die, it makes me feel accepted and cared for. 

speaking of acceptance, i can only say this through an anon because i dont feel safe expressing my thoughts and feelings openly. ive been harassed by too many drdt fans for such petty reasons. i just wanna feel safe and liked in this fandom but i cant because i constantly feel like everyone is judging me and talking shit about me. i dont want that. i want people to like me.

theres probably going to be people suggesting for me to not associate myself with drdt (or atleast any ace markey media) for the sake of my own mental health and like.. take a walk or something. and while i do agree with you 100%, i kinda cant. drdt is my only hyperfixation atm. ive been obsessed with it for over a year now! most hyperfixations last only a year. i dont know how to stop thinking about ace's possible death, especially with episode 16 coming up in a few days. its really not as easy as you guys think it is. im not choosing to feel like this, i promise. (SENDING IN MULTIPLE PARTS BECAUSE IT KEEPS SAYING "We’re sorry. There was an error processing your post. tumblr")

.

[eustasskidagenda]

hello im so excited that your ask box is open and youre taking requests! i dont request things often, so this might be a but of a weird concept, and i apologize if its too detailed. however the idea literally wont leave me alone. orz;;

maybe eustass kid has a crush on a somewhat reserved reader whose slow to open up and he hasnt quite realized thats what hes feeling until they stop on an island and meet readers childhood friend. they show a whole new side of themself with said friend by laughing openly, making stupid jokes, being much more physically affectionate. basically reader acts close with an old friend and kid gets jealous about it.

i dont mind if you do a oneshot, drabble, or headcanon, im just curious about your thoughts on this :3 thank you so much and i hope you have a great day!

Hello dear anon! Sure, I'm always happy to write for my pookie. It was fun to write, and it makes me smile a bit because Kid is such a mess, I love this angry tulip. Hope it will match your expectations. ☆

☆Kid with a s/o slow to open up

CW : g/n reader, a bit of cursing but fluff overall

WC : 700

Kid has always been loud. Whenever he's angry, he needs to shoot at someone. What can he say? His heart is filled with emotions, boiling and exploding like a thousand sparks. That's why you're a mystery. Always calm. Not letting others know what's on your mind. What makes you so quiet? He can't tell. 

Just like the moon and the sun, you are polar opposites. And yet, as the sun always chases the moon, he's always looking after you. And he's everything, but not discreet. Asking loudly for almost all of his crew what they think about you and why you are so reserved. 

Sure, he's used to introverted folks. Killer is one of them. But here's the difference: he can second-guess every word, thought, and breath of his best friend. He could probably achieve all of his sentences. And even through the mask, Kid could also guess the exact expression on Killer's face. 

Killer, who is likely aware that Kid has a small crush on you.

Kid is genuinely frustrated. Loudly frustrated, obviously. He needs to feel in control of everything and hates when he doesn’t have a full-understanding. Usually, he fails to notice reserved people because he's taking all the attention. But there's something about you: your slight smiles, the flash in your eyes, the way you're always listening to others but never talk about yourself. He can't tell why, but it keeps his mind alert. 

Perhaps you pose a bit of a challenge. Kid would never give two flying fucks about you if you were easy to see through. He's always looking after you because you're still a mystery. Sure, at the beginning, it was just to try to figure out who you really are. But now, it turned into something bigger. He hasn't noticed it yet, that’s all. Kid sucks with feelings. Feelings are actually something he hates because they make him feel weak. It puts his loved one in danger. Showing your weaknesses to enemies is a foolish move, Kid knows that perfectly.

However, everything is about to change. He decided to stop on that island for the day. For the first time, you asked to avoid robbery or harming anyone around. 

"Ugh, we're pirates, y/n" Kid doesn't want to look like a nice guy. He's a tough, rude pirate. He has a reputation to uphold. For him, the only good way to open a path is by violent means. Kindness? For what? If he's still alive today, it's because he toughened up and decided to never show mercy to anyone. 

"Fine, fine, I won't kill those people." Heavy sighs. But he wants to understand. He needs to understand. And finally, he's about to understand. 

Because suddenly, you're smiling heartily and running towards those scumbag strangers. What. The. Fuck. It's like seeing the sun after an eternity of blizzards and grey clouds. You're a bright light, a true sunshine. A burst of joy. You're joking, laughing, talking, and talking a lot. You never said more than two sentences in front of him, and now you're chatting endlessly with those strangers and hugging all of them. 

He's pissed off. Are those random people with terrible sense of style and ugly make-up better than him? The great Eustass "Captain" Kid? No way. 

"Guys, here's my captain, Kid. Kid, here are my childhood best friends."

Kid's face is a mess of angry scowls and boiling with frustration when they say hello. Why aren't you smiling as warmly when you're with him? Why is his heart pounding so hard, almost painfully in his chest? And damn, is it the cold or are his cheeks completely red? 

Poor Kid is both flushed and flustered. His first reflex is always exploding when he feels something. "Do you have a problem with me?" Barking through gritted teeth. 

He's ruining the happy-shitty mood and he doesn't care. 

So now, try to explain that you don't have a problem with him. Good luck, he's very stubborn. But once he's more or less calmed (because he's still pissed off), he still can't understand why his heart is racing at the sight of your soft, warm smile.

He wants to see that side of you more often. He wants to be part of those privileged people allowed to know the real you.

Yes, maybe he has a crush on you.

[corviiids]

sparknotes for chapter 9 of as you like it because a very kind commenter asked for a breakdown and if theres one thing im good at it's breaking down

(spoilers for the fic obviously)

tihs chapter gave me so much trouble. i sat on it for so long i literally hated it by the time i posted it but im starting to forgive it now. it was, as ive said, originally way longer, and the next part of the fic was supposed to be the second half of this one... but it was starting to get absurd and i realised that neither part would have the weight i needed them to have if they were lumped in together. (with some relief, honestly, because i kind of had wanted them to be separate initially but didn't think they'd be long enough. i dont know myself very well.) anyway, the next chapter should be a bit of a doozy now although hopefully not SO absurdly long.

this chapter picks up where the previous cliff hung off, which is to say, after the 'shadow' akechi reveals that he's actually just the real ass guy. akechi in the palace what will he do. the chapter doesn't immediately kick off with ren's reaction though and that is because ren is the most repressed man alive and does not know how he feels about it.

so, akechi disguised himself to enter his palace, which is significant for a few reasons:

1. he's disguised as himself

which i think is ironic in a fun way, but it's also just a very basic nod to the fact that akechi pivots between which of his personae is his default. this isn't necessarily super meaningful, but he does later refer to the black mask suit as

a costume, instead of an outfit. i mean, don't read into it too much, he's just talking, but i did think that probably points to how he feels about his appearance generally.

2. more importantly, his disguise involves taking off his mask.

so he's disguised, yes, and he's disguised as himself, yes, but that disguise is a literal unmasking, which is also kind of ironic. in presenting himself this way he has literally and figuratively made himself vulnerable. they're inside his heart, and the entire time he's in the palace, he is exposed... again both literally and figuratively because he also starts sharing more with ren than he ever has. look, i just think it's fun to have a character who has so many layers that he has to lie so hard that he becomes himself again.

i only want to point this out because (this is also part of larger meta about mona lol) akechi knew about the metaverse, but there is no way to intuit the method of stealing hearts without guidance. it's such a specific and involved process. thje most akechi could work out on his own was that if you killed a shadow, that person would have a mental breakdown. no way to guess that if you send a calling card and then go in within the next 24 hours and take a physical manifestation of a thing that you didn't know existed (process) would lead to that person ahving a change of heart (result). so even if akechi had a palace and knew about it, even if he wanted to do something about it, he would have assumed there was nothing he could do about it - i also have no idea what the process would be for sending yourself a calling card, even if he DID know about the process. so basically in this fic akechi found his palace and just assumed that was it. he was like, fucked up lol. anyway

this just straight up isn't true HAHA so i put in the silly little dichotomy of akechi gently taking ren's arm to protect him from slipping on the ice while telling him that he lied about caring about him. i think in this chapter as akechi begins to openly explain more and more of his thought process, this is probably the first truly clear glimpse you get of exactly what akechi's distortion is and how deep it runs.

the things akechi says with total conviction in this chapter are just... not true, not a fair or founded way to view the world (or the art of performance haha), but he says them with total conviction, and hopefully it should show off how unreliable he is as a source of exposition. one commenter asked about this moment of akc's eyes going yellow and if it was somehting that happened in canon - not really, i was just thinking about those little moments in the game after you send a calling card where the game cuts from the person to their shadow to do a little oneliner about their distortion.

akechi's IN his own palace, so i thought it would be fun to kind of make it a physical thing that can happen to him where he sort of merges with his shadow for a brief second in the moments when the distortion is strongest.

OKAY this is one of my favourite bits of the chapter HAHA the deep soda lore. i dont expect anyone to remember all the way back to chapter 3 but:

literally nobody asked about this but i love the phantom thieves!!! i dream of all the little silly moments of being a team that they must have that we don't get to see in gameplay, for obvious reasons of it wouldn't really work in a game, but i can imagine them in my brain. i can imagine their trickshot contests that get their asses kicked. i can imagine them chanting at each other to chug while joker and oracle compete to down an entire bottle of brand neutral mountain dew baja blast. i can dream.

soda lore is gay.

i dont honestly think it's inherently a bad thing necessarily but this part does kind of set up like... you can see akechi very early on in life forming this worldview that the truth isn't always what you want, you know? this was a 'lie' he and his mother both bought into, they both knew what the truth actually was, so it wasn't real dishonesty, but they just had this little fantasy. i just thought it would be fun for akechi to have a way to bond with his mother and feel closer to her, and that way is by buying into this white lie. idk

akechi's mother isn't really a character and i don't want to form her into too much of one because i think it's very much the point that, like... he made this point in an earlier chapter but having lost her at a pretty young age i think it's quite crucial that akechi doesn't really have a fully formed image of who his mother is outside of what she was to him as a child. so i actively don't want her to feel too real or defined. im not interested in making an oc out of her because i think it defeats the purpose. that said, this line exists to maybe gesture very vaguely at the notion that akechi's mother was a very bright person who similarly was stuck in circumstances that didn't serve to foster her real potential. just the image in my mind of a person who's clever enough to get across algebraic notation in chess by flipping through a book in a few minutes, but was never exposed to the opportunity to learn chess until this moment in someone else's house, and also the particular situation of learning this skill WHILE at someone's place as a call girl, i dunno . i hope im treating this with the grace it deserves but i wanted to build just this particular image in vivid colour while also keeping the reality quite blurry and vague, just to give the reader a sense of where akechi came from while still preserving his limited pov.

my thoughts on the phantom thieves' methods (and how they compare to maruki) are definitely too long and involved to put into a post about this fic chapter specifically, but maybe one day. i also wanna stress im not like... strictly anti-phantom thief or anti-heartstealing lol but i do have thoughts about the philsophy of it and the thieves' hypocrisy WHATEVER that's not for this post. i bring this up only to crow about finding a way to bring up the experience machine (ie maruki's reality) in this fic without it being royal compliant and have it be... hoepfully... sufficiently relevant to the plot. wa hoo! the experience machine came up for the first time back in chapter 4 and im just delighted that i finally got to close that loop. by the way, that experiment is also called the lotus eater machine after the lotus eaters in the odyssey! i dunno that it's actively my favourite thought experiment but it's definitely up there and i think about it a lot.

TITLE DROP

i think i spoke once about what 'as you like it' means. it's obviously the name of the shakespeare play from where 'all the world's a stage' comes, but it has a couple more layers to it as well - akechi's palace is a place where he performs to what he believes other people want or need to see from him - so his appearance is as you like it. and his accusation of the thieves' heartstealing methods is that they twist a person's internal reality to suit their vision - that's the meaning he's taking here, claiming that joker is turning akechi into an unfamiliar new thing, as [joker] like[s] it. you get it.

this running joke of ren really hating vents wasn't something i planned but im attached to it now. prayer circle for his knees

ive basically given up on making sense of samerecarm, which is par for the course for any rpg or video game really where reduction to 0hp/revival are mechanics. like, im inclined to think 0hp is more equivalent to unconsciousness, because... well... otherwise it's pretty cold that they left akechi dead in the engine room without even looking for a way around the wall. lol. but one of mona's revival lines is 'being dead isnt easy!' or something like that, so i kind of just give up and assume it's video game logic you'r enot meant to look at too hard lol. the way i reconcile it for my purposes is to say it's a sort of metaverse-exclusive state of being which is not quite dead but sort of in a limbo state wher eyou can be brought back with specific revival magic, which i refer to as being down. that's uhhh, that's different from the battle status of down... which you get after being hit with a crit/technical/weak skill... look, don't think about it. joker in crow's arms.

this is literally meaningless i just wanted to include a cameo of my very favourite persona q2 battle theme.

[sommerregenjuniluft]

Evan and regulus lying side by side on the bed with barty taking turns going down on each of them, sucking Evan off slow and good and eating regulus out till his thighs are shaking and evan and regulus can’t keep their hands off of each other

oooohhhh hell yeah nonny and actually dont ask me why but my mind immediately went to like verbal humiliation/degradation sorta vibe where

hold on (NSFW)

Evan pulls Barty off by the hair, grip harsh and Barty whines openly, mouth dripping with spit and cum. Both his and Regulus’.

The air of their bedroom is harsh and cool against Evan’s slick and exposed erection but Regulus had started to hump his hand helplessly so Evan guides Barty’s face back down and buries it between Regulus’ legs.

The moan from Regulus is immediate, his back bowing, and Evan wastes no time mouthing along his exposed throat where his head is thrown back, usually neat curls mussed by the pillow. He takes himself back in hand, stroking slowly, just enough to keep the stimulation up but not enough to get himself somewhere close to the edge.

“Fuck,” Regulus explaims and Barty groans hungily in response, chasing after where Regulus’ hips are jerking away from the intense onslaught of stimulation.

Evan hums, kissing his way down along Regulus’ clavicles, his chest, as he watched Barty try to dig deeper into Regulus’ wet and puffy cunt. When his eyes snap up and meet Evan’s, he moans pitifully, hips rutting down into the mattress.

“Look at how desperate you are for it,” Evan comments between kisses to Regulus’ skin, “Gagging for it, panting like a fucking dog—some dirty mutt.”

Barty’s brows furrow, eyes squeezing shut, and he makes another needy groan against Regulus’ slick folds. The wet noises are obscene.

Evan drives his fingers through Barty’s sweaty hair again and tugs him back off, detaching his mouth from Regulus with a wet smacking noise and a whine from both of them.

“Aren’t we generous to let you get us off, huh?”

A vehement hum, frantic nodding, and Barty strains to lower his face back down. Hissing in pain when Evan keeps him suspended, grip iron.

“Words, stupid.” Next to Evan, Regulus lazily props up on his elbows, watching the spectacle with a glimmer in his eyes.

“Yes,” Barty rasps, throat raw from having Evan’s cock down there again and again for the past half hour. His jaw must be aching. “Yeah, you are.”

Evan hums and the corners of Regulus lips lift devilishly, “What do we say then?”

Barty blinks stupidly for a second, then his eyes clear a bit and a feral grin spreads across his face where he’s still glistening wet with the both of them. “I dunno, what do we say?”

Before Evan has time to reply Regulus’ moves, arm snapping out and palm slapping Barty right across his cheek, sending his head flying and the cocky smirk right with it.

When he turns back his face is flushed but Evan thinks it must be equal parts aroused blush and Regulus’ lovely hand print.

“Manners,” Regulus admonishes in his high and mighty and poised tone, like he didn’t just hit Barty right across his face.

A sound rips from deep within Barty’s throat and then his tongue is lolling out, eyes glazed again, and he whimpers, “Thank you.”

[azumasoroshi]

THIS DUDE OH MY GOD. KAYDEN YOU ARE NOT BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS

i started rereading all of eleceed (im in my dark room at 3 am if you couldnt tell) and like. even kartein and kayden’s first interactions reek of exes/divorced energy and we know im all about that shit

like. kayden calling kartein on a private number. meeting on a rooftop overlooking the city. kayden actually taking kartein to his home and being vulnerable and cute with cats near him. you could say he’s doing all this for jiwoo’s sake but i firmly believe there’s no way he would do all that without having some level of trust and a little bit of amicability towards kartein like hello this is kayden break we’re talking about

both of them freaking out over jiwoo refusing treatment and kartein instantly going mom mode LMAOOO

its 3 am im not cropping those fuckin photos but dude you cant tell me there isnt a little bit of fondness in kartein’s eyes. im an artist those are the fond eyebrows i KNOW that shit i draw those on geto suguru every other day

lmao how do you know kartein’s limits that well huh gay boy. has he treated you in the past huh. have you stood guard for him before. spill your fucking secrets you’re not SLICK PRETTY BOY

kayden when jiyoung/inhyuk/suman/jiwoo’s friends/literally anyone else saves jiwoo: good job, thanks, i owe you one

kayden when kartein helps jiwoo: I WILL LEAD YOU TO MY DOMESTIC HOME AND MY FOUR BABY CATS AS MANY TIMES AS YOU LIKE. DO YOU WANT TO SHARE MY CAT BED

good lord ive been looking for the source of that last panel after seeing tumblr screenshots but how could i ever forget the MOST ROMANTIC FUCKING LINE IN ALL OF ELECEED THAT CAME WITH IT. IS THAT NOT LIKE A 500 PAGE ROMANCE NOVEL LINE. FROM KAYDEN FUCKING BREAK

kayden and kartein’s relationship is so funny bc you can tell in the earlier chapters everyone was like ok they’re too alike, they have to be siblings or cousins or something but starting this chapter people started being like hey something’s up with these two. i dont think they’re siblings anymore

and ofc webtoon comments are always obnoxious about this shit and any comment hinting to gay romance in an action webtoon gets like 300 downvotes but they slowly start getting fewer and fewer downvotes and im pretty sure no one downvotes comments about how they’re totally married by the time the lord astra arc rolls around at all which is HILARIOUS to me

the way kartein and kayden openly reveal their weaknesses to each other or assume the other already knows also gets me like. ok mr kayden i dont work with anyone and im all alone break and dr we’re not close enough for me to do a favor for you kartein what the FUCK ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME

[vorenado-m]

happy disability pride month! please consider helping me take back my life as a disabled person!

the TL;DR is that for the last 3 months i have had an absolutely soul-sucking miserable minimum wage retail job that, due to the way scheduling works (and the app being broken as fuck) has prevented me from having access to literally any of the life-saving mental health/medical care i need as a disabled person.

my disability is best managed through a combination of medication, therapy, and casework-- not a single one of which i have had since march! :) contextually, up until i got this job, i took three daily medications and had casework once a week and therapy once or sometimes twice a week. these services are offered at an affordable cost to me through a local organization that is threatening to close my case due to lack of participation.

ill make another, more detailed post later with some of the services i can offer for money (i draw! i code! i write!) but until then here is a code you can scan if you have a few dollars to spare:

there are more details beneath the cut (idk about you guys but im kinda nosy so i wrote some more stuff in case anyone else is also nosy) but thats the gist of it. you can also always ask for details. i dont have a therapist right now so it might feel good to say things.

my plan is as follows: i would like to take the month of july more or less "off" from work to get my affairs in order, starting with scheduling appointments for therapy and casework and getting back on my meds. i am actively looking for a job, but i would like the ability to be somewhat picky instead of applying everywhere i think might have me for the sake of having money coming in to pay rent.

for the last two years i have made less than $800/mo and i can survive on roughly $600-$650 a month. my july rent ($550) is paid and my august rent (at least $500) is most likely also squared away, through a combination of some cash i was hoarding, a previous donation, my last expected paychecks from my current job, and my brother generously offering to cover whatever is left over. the extra $100ish is for roughly a months supply of the food that is part of my daily routine that i get cranky without (i have tea every morning, for instance.)

i have a fantastic roommate who is not struggling as much financially who will do everything in her power to make sure i have access to staple foods (rice, eggs, etc) so i really just need to buy the things only i consume (kimchi, milk, etc.) there is a food bank i go to, so i am not worried about food, but i can only go to it once per month. we have a barter system where i trade her the things i dont want from the food bank and she buys me things i will eat; alternatively, i sometimes give her things i get from the food bank (eg meat) that she turns into meals for both of us.

i live independently/"alone" with roommates and do not have support from my family pretty much at all. they have never been particularly useful for emotional support and have openly denied me financial support since i was a teenager. moving in with them/getting help from them/talking to them is not an option.

i have emailed my caseworker at the mental health organization i work with as well as my caseworker with the disability vocational program i work with to help me find a new job that is "back of house" and requires less customer interaction. i did this over the weekend, so i expect to hear back from them sometime this week. in the meantime, i am searching for jobs on my own in places like indeed, jobhat, careerbuilder, etc. as well as checking company websites of places like chain grocery stores to see what is available in my area.

my job pool is a bit limited due to the fact that i cannot drive (due to both my disability and the medication im supposed to be taking for it) but i am very well-versed at taking the bus, which is free. getting to and from work is not a concern for me; it is being able to do the job without being driven to the edge of a mental breakdown that is the problem.

the disability vocational program is my ticket out of poverty! last month i had a follow-up evaluation (i had to call out of work for it, but frankly i was at the end of my rope then too) where they approved my career goals as a web developer and we are in the process of deciding what my next steps are! the program will likely (depending on what route i take) help pay for vocational training, too, but i obviously have to pay rent while in training. which i think i can do if i have a job that doesnt make me want to die.

i have some other things that make my life a bit harder (im mixed race, i am nonbinary + gay, etc) but i would say those things dont really impact my ability to get a job as much as the disability does LOL which is why i did not feature them prominently in this post. like, the reason i cant get a job isnt because people dont want to hire me because i have blue hair and pronouns, its because im obviously disabled.

if you have any other questions, no matter how intrusive you think they might be, feel free to send a DM or an ask, and i will try to answer.

[definatelymrhyde]

TGS Page spoilers September 23 2024!!!!

Alright it’s time to analyze this. Robert Lanyon you are so Landone because I am picking apart your little speech right here right now

This is LOOOOONG so there WILL be a TLDR at the end!!

“Nothing but a line from a stupid play.”

“What?”

“What does all this rogue science business get you, in the end? Sure you get the odd novelty - - an invisible cat, a hot air balloon or two. But in return it tears your life apart.” - This is Lanyon mainly speaking on how he sees everything and what he’s observed yet again. All he’s heard about rogue science was confirmed to be true, Henry’s promise of telling him if he ever went to far is broken. He’s not going to trust anything ANY rogue scientist says at ALL this time. He’s not even gonna give them a chance. His point of view and opinion had suddenly (probably) solidified and likely won’t be changed, easily at least.

“The signs were there, looking back. It was so obvious that Henry was slipping away.”

Lanyon CALLS HIM OUT. Like. Dude. Buddy. It WAS obvious, but only to someone who could have KNOWN what was happening.

“And I helped him.”

Lanyon believes he helped make this all happen. And that by proxy, Henry’s condition is HIS fault, at least partially. As much as he seems weirdly calmly angry, he’s masking it in order to seem like he’s not sad.

“I brought people from all over London to see this place, to sell them this beautiful lie.”

Again he blames himself, and shifts some of it onto the lodgers.

“It would have been better if you’d destroyed this place. If you had, I might have been able to rescue Henry from himself.”

Lanyon stating he belives the society should have been destroyed. Gone. That it was an utter mistake involving himself (and Henry, even if it was Henry’s own choice, and HE chose before Lanyon did) In this whole thing.

“But now he’s possessed by a demon, or whatever the hell Hyde is.”

Actually? Good point, Lanyon! We don’t know for SURE what TGS Hyde is. Sure we have a general idea, but we’ve never been told in specifics and had it verbally confirmed.

TLDR;

Lanyon masks his blame and sadness with a facade of just playing up the pre-existing anger. He doesn’t think Henry could have done this on his own and that the society and the support it got from Lanyon and a little bit the lodgers was what pushed Henry to do this to himself. He states what we’re questioning, ‘what is Edward Hyde, really?’ Because we’ve never got a confirmed awnser from anyone in story, have we now?

AND FINALLY; A THEORY.

I think that he’s going to up and walk away. Any previous statements I’ve made in like,, Lodger Lounge or other servers ABOUT Lanyon dying? IGNORE THOSE I DONT THINK THAT ANY MORE. I think we’re gonna get some in depth emotions for Lanyon, which is unusual because like,, it’s Lanyon he is NOT getting caught openly expressing that shit. I think we’re gonna get a much deeper understanding of Robert ‘not my problem is my middle fucking name’ Lanyon!! That’s my prediction.

Anyways, making analysis of these guys my new job if anybody wants a character analysis (at least from my pov having a 100% in my English class as of now. Yes. That’s literally my ONLY qualification besides being the author of a fic that puts TGS Jekyll’s struggles into perspective.) just hand em over I don’t care. So long as it’s TGS? I’ll analyze it just give me a segment I don’t care, fanfic that’s deep and analyzesble? I’ll do it? A specific page or collection/progression of dialogue? I’ll do it. HAND IT OVER.

[soaps-mohawk]

A healthy “fuck you” to that Anon making fun of PTSD and trauma. Not to rant but Ghost is an extremely comforting character to me, and seeing someone laugh at a very real depiction of how PTSD manifests shows that we still have a long way to go with mental health and awareness. There is a difference between dark humor and being so deeply disturbed that killing and slaughter is funny to you. I’m still learning how to cope and acknowledge my mental health without shoving it down, much like Ghost.

Anyways, love your story and I’m super excited to read the next chapter! Quick question, and if you’ve answered it I’m very sorry, but what is the pack’s opinions on halloween and would they dress up with reader?

Yeah, mental health acceptance and understanding has made leaps and bounds compared to what it used to be, but there's still a long way to go. I've gotten a few responses/asks/comments where I just knew there was a wild misinterpretation of the story due to a lack of understanding of mental health. It plays a vital role in not just the characters storylines but also in the overarching plot of the story. Hell, I've even talked about the metaphor and comparison between how omegas are treated in this universe and how those with mental health struggles are treated in ours. (There's other metaphors in there as well, but that's a different conversation)

So yeah, I agree. Making fun of someone's trauma is fucked up and someday you'll face the ramifications of those decisions. Be it karma or real-life consequences, or even better, both.

It's so hard learning to acknowledge and accept mental health struggles. I get it, I've been on that journey for years and I've been going through a lot of that this year too. It's so hard and so many people have no sympathy for it because they have a severe lack of understanding.

Anyway, on to the happy.

I think Johnny and Kyle love Halloween, and of course the reader does too. They put up decorations, buy far more candy than they can eat themselves, dress up (usually in matching costumes with a theme). They go all in with scary movies and make it a big party

I think Simon secretly enjoys it because it's like the one day he can wear his mask and not have anyone say anything stupid about it 🤭 he even gets compliments. After the reader joins them, he's a bit more openly excited, and may even be convinced to join in on the costumes.

I dont think John really cares one way or another, he participates because it makes the kids happy 😂 let's himself be dressed up and watches horror movies with them, and eats candy until his teeth hurt. Definitely more of a savory kind of guy.

[skreebs]

Happy “Tetchou got 2-3 seconds of screen time” day!!

Anyway Jouno has ADHD and heres a longass rant on why I think that

(Obviously this is a headcanon but hear me out!!!!!)

Almost every time we see Jouno he is always doing something with his hands wether this be gesturing, holding something, or fidgeting with an object (example: when he was peeling a pear in Kunikida’s cell thing) and in the same scene we also see Jouno apparently unable to sit still in his seat in the manga due to him repeatedly crossing and uncrossing his legs in his chair

Another reason I think this is because of possible time blindness. When we first see Jouno show up to the Hunting Dogs group thing where they smash into the ground, Fukuchi comments on Jouno arriving before him. This is because he had to go arrest Dazai so obviously he’s “here” in Yokohama early, but also this kind of makes me think he was just standing there waiting for a while. I’m likely reading too deep into it, but Fukuchi probably wouldn’t say that Jouno had gotten here before him when he knew that’d clearly be the case. In my mind it reads as Jouno arrived at the meeting spot early. How Fukuchi would know this? No clue! But also he’s Fukuchi so he probably knows everything.

(I hate tumblr formatting)

Another reason I have would be RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria)

This one is definitely reaching a little bit but bare with me.

I think Jouno experiences RSD, not in the way of “oh I hate myself I messed up on something” but instead in the way of “shut the fuck up you dont know what youre talking about dont criticize me.” Which is honestly how I experience it sometimes as well LMAO but he does seem very focused on the fact of personally being the best Hunting Dog and appears to take quite a bit of offense whenever Tetchou reprimands him for his behaviour.

Last reason I can squeeze out before my brain turns into goo is overstimulation. Jouno is known very heavily for his heightened senses and people with ADHD are very prone to overstimulation. It would make a lot of sense for something like this to happen to Jouno. Obviously he wouldn’t be able to openly show this at work or have a breakdown at work (if he did he would likely go to a secluded area to calm down) but its very likely that he’s experienced many overstimulated breakdowns or shut downs during his life once his senses became so insane.

I could go on about this for hours but now I have to tag all of this and pass the hell out. Unsurprisingly my own time blindness has gotten the better of me (I started this at 2 am and it is currently 5 am)

DO I EVEN NEED THIS MANY TAGS IDK HOW THIS WORKS

[theosb0rnway]

Ghostface ranking please n thank you

OH MY GOD YES YES YES I LOVE RANKING ALL THE GHOSTIES

My ranking of all 15 Ghostfaces so far (yes.... I'm including Jason and Greg because if I don't, SOMEBODY'S gonna bitch about it I know--)

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL 6 SCREAM FILMS

Rankings under the cut

Stu Macher (Scream)

The BEST Ghostface to ever Ghostface. A BIT underrated just because people will sometimes give Billy more credit. But like- hot man. Has no actual motive for killing, Billy was like "Hey, dude, let's kill people" and he literally needed nothing more. Thought up of some of the key parts of their plan, definitely gutted Casey and Steve, probably put Kenny on the van by himself (Billy wasn't around, so-) . Definitely top 3 or 4 strongest Ghosties to date. And the humor-- okay, I could go ON AND ON about Stu, but I'll stop here. Matthew Lillard really took the character from boring in the script to one of the only parts of the original film me and my mother (who's TERRIFIED of horror films and would rather forget them) remembered from our first watch when I was 13. (She said she'll never forget his laugh and that she hates him. ... She then got me a t-shirt of him not 3 weeks later for Christmas. Sorry, Mom-) Great job, man! Stu stole my heart, LOTS of my money, and a large part of my brain, so it's safe to say he'll always be my fave and an icon in my eyes. (Literally wearing my Stu shirt as I type this, what a fun coincidence LOL-)

2. Charlie Walker (Scream 4)

I said what I said. People either adore Charlie or despise him, and I love him DEARLY. Yes, he's very attractive, but on top of that, he racks up one of the highest kill counts by a single Ghostface alone in the entire franchise, beaten only by Roman, I believe. From Olivia Morris, which was obviously his kill, to tossing Rebecca Walters off a building, to Jenny and Marnie... definitely Robbie... Kirby... Kate Roberts... man just went crazy with the kills, and I respect it. He had loyalty, some great lines, a HILARIOUS deleted scene ( ), and he kept cool under pressure, never revealing himself until absolutely necessary. Do I relate to him? Yep. Is that bad? Probably, but I love him anyways.

3. Jill Roberts (Scream 4)

Another maybe controversial ranking, but I love Jill! I think her motive is fantastic, the way that she uses Charlie to get what she wants, and as someone who has acted innocent in situations where I'm definitely not, her acting is spot on. I never thought about it being her until her reveal, and it's still one of my favorites of all time. She is also, I believe, the Ghostface who got closest to the goal of killing Sidney and getting away with it, so congrats, girl! You had the whole world fooled till the hospital! She's a great take on what I think is the modern version of Billy Loomis, and she nailed the innocent act, truly. Did she kill anyone? Probably, but I can't think of anyone who I know is 100% a Jill Kill. Either way, good for her for not getting her hands dirty, or FOR getting her hands dirty! Impressive no matter what in my mind.

4. Billy Loomis (Scream)

Dont worry, Billy fans, he's still in my top 5! The only reason he's not my third is because I think he's just a BIT overrated. If the movies weren't constantly making him seem like he was the only killer and completely alienating Stu (I think there's a reason for that, but I won't explain that here), then I'd put him above Jill. I know that's a weird reason, but it's my reason. Billy is a fantastic manipulator who knew how to get exactly what he wanted from Sid, and also was a repressed drama queen, which I relate to a lot. While Stu was openly crazy, Billy hid behind the stone cold semi-facade. I don't think Billy would ever have gotten as crazy as Stu did, but he definitely showed the drama in several ways that make me smile and laugh every time. Falling down a flight of stairs? Fucking up Stu's couch cushions? Comedy gold every time. I give Billy credit for stabbing Casey, killing Himbry, and killing Tatum. I think the rest were Stu's because of the gutting and where Billy was at the time. I also think he killed Maureen, so a nice 4ish kills for him! Anyways, top tier Ghostie, another one I'll always respect respect and love.

5. Amber Freeman (Scream 5)

I'm gonna be honest, I hated her when I first watched Scream 5. Hated Richie too, but he's still terrible. Fuck him. I thought Amber was a trashy, third rate version of Stu that was extremely fake and her turn from cold to goofy seemed extremely forced. Then I took a deep dive and figured out why. (If you want a full explanation, let me know, I'm trying to stay short here.) So I believe that Richie is this movie's Stu and Amber is the movie's Billy. From her plans, her using the house, just her very cold, calm demeanor in the beginning, she just gives Billie energy, while Richie is just... well, he's the Netflix guy. He makes jokes left and right. But Amber, I think she was trying to be the Stu while Richie was trying to be the Billy. Everyone forgets that Stu was a boyfriend too, (Billy's) Tatum's boyfriend. Amber was supposed to be Tara's girlfriend in the original script. So now, I see her third act as more of her desperate attempt to look like her idol instead of sticking with the persona that served her well for the rest of the film. That really made me appreciate her more, and made her feel even underutilized, as did the Macher house. (I LOVE THAT HOUSE. I LOVE IT. Well, the actual actual house, not the Scream 5 version.) So yeah. Amber was a cold blooded killer trying to be just like the Macher before her, even if that wasn't the part she was meant to play in her movie. Taking credit for Dewey's kill? Absolutely. She was in the cult and she just wanted to piss Gale off by saying she did it. Fantastic lines, wonderful creep factor! Her death- *chef's kiss* Lovely homage to Sidney shooting Billy. And that's my top 5!

6. Quinn Bailey (Scream 6)

The only member of that damn family who did a good job killing. Richie included. Funny? Check. Didn't see her coming? Check. Ruthless? Double check. I don't think she did Gale's attack either, I think that just like Amber, she took the blame for someone else's work just to keep them hidden. Besides that, she was a good character, someone you thought was long gone until she wasn't. Bonus points for her saying Stu was her fave and definitely being the one to stab Mindy on the subway. Maybe not the greatest Ghostie ever, certainly low on kills, but I enjoy watching her a lot.

7. Nancy Loomis, aka "Debbie Salt" (Scream 2)

Another hidden killer who deserved more screen time after her reveal, and more backstory. I love her motive of "good, old-fashioned revenge", and I can see her killing Randy out of rage. Killing Mickey? Nice way to keep things in her favor! Debbie Salt was eh. Don't remember her much tbh- I would've liked to see Nancy more as herself, she just had great potential. Did she take some kills? Absolutely. Got her hands dirty to honor her son. But that's what I don't like. She leaves Hank, then suddenly after Billy dies, she's like the best mother ever?? Killing for the son SHE left?? Her leaving is the reason Scream happened, paired with Maureen and Hank's infidelity-- that's why she's a solid 7 in my book, and the best of the worst. Only goes downhill from here, folks.

8. Mickey Altieri (Scream 2)

GREAT in the Act 3. Other than that? Um... he was okay, I guess? He had some funny lines, but where I really like him is in the possibility possibility of what he's done. He definitely killed for Nancy, he was insane and just wanted people to see him that way. He DID talk to Matthew Lillard in the background of the sorority party... Mickey and Stu working together?? His Act 3 was good, he showed he could be a good Ghostface, scared Sidney, killed Derek... but that's where this ranking and my positive comments about him stop.

9. Wayne Bailey (Scream 6)

Classic parent who wants revenge, angry, pulls it off decently. He has some good moments, funny, a definite suspect, and nowhere near as good a cop as Dewey. Points for trapping the Core 4 (minus Mindy) and Kirby in the second coolest location in the franchise, but that's where my positivity stops. Sam killed him easy, he was a shit parent until Richie died I bet. Did he get his kids to murder? Oh yeah, I think he's the one who made this whole plan up with Quinn and Ethan's help. He doesn't really stand out. Did he kill?? Even wear the fucking mask?? I honestly don't think so. I would put him lower, but compared to the next three... yeah, he's fine at 9.

10. Richie Kirsch (Scream 5)

WHYYYY. WHY. The only goof thing I can say is that like 5 of his lines made me laugh, and he also hates Stab 8. Me too, dude, that looks BAD. Motive? Pretty good, solid movie motive, getting with Sam to get the job done. Ruthless? Yeah. But he's sloppy. He's a Stu without the magic, just trying to make a movie. Him dating Amber?? *vomits* KILL ME NOW. He was 100% manipulated by her, I know he was. A sad attempt of Billy Loomis that leaned more towards Stu, and his cheesy shit throughout the film made his "true colors" seem kinda dull and not very scary. I don't like him. I don't.

11. Ethan Landry [Bailey] (Scream 6)

Like father, like sons!- all in my least favorite 5 of legitimate Ghostfaces. How much screen time did he have?? Not enough. Innocent guy, "I was in Econ!" to "HAHAHA I'M INSANE NOW!!"? I hate it. His transition was too forced, he was bland and stupid, his attempts at faking his knowledge about everything were embarrassing and made him look worse as a character. The easiest Ghostface to spot. I don't know, I mean I get people like him because he's insane and attractive, but I don't. Sorry to all of you who love this guy and his family. His best scene? When Tara stabbed him in the mouth. You go, queen!!

13. Roman Bridger (Scream 3)

Fuck. FUCK. I hate him, I hate this movie, I hate it all. His motive is pretty solid, I actually like it a lot... but he was stuck up, whiney, and underutilized. Like Ethan, low screen time, unbelievable shift from loser to villain- did he even share a scene with Sid?? Talk to her?? And this makes Billy and Stu look like lackeys. I HATE IT. I would've much rather had the Stu leading a Ghostface cult film, but I know why they went this route instead, and I respect that. Like Ethan, the best part about him, and of this movie, is his death. Dewey missing his head like 5ish times before finally hearing Sid and going for the head Thor in Endgame style?? Comedy. GOLD. I love Dewey Riley. But yeah, I just don't like Roman at all. His strengths are his motive, his INSANE kill count (I think he had an accomplice.), and his physical strength. Besides those? Useless. Sorry, Roman die-hards.

14. Jason Carvey (Scream 6)

Not bad for a Ghostface killed in the first 15 minutes. He had the makings of a good killer, definitely in the cult, but his time was just extremely short. Nothing much to say about him, but his only kill was a fantastic start to the film. I would put him higher, because I think he WAS a good Ghostface, but... 10 minutes or less of screen time? Sorry dude, don't know you well enough.

15. Greg (Scream 6)

Who?? Saw him a fridge. That's it. What's his last name, I don't remember- No screen time, not even alive on screen. Nothing more to say. He was probably pretty good though, if he was anything like Jason.

And there's my ranking of all 15 Ghostfaces!! If you want to add your own, feel free to below! If you wanna comment on mine, please be respectful, but I'd like to know why you don't like characters I do, or like ones I don't. If your faves are my faves, share!! I love finding new Scream buddies!! And thanks for listening if you made it this far, that was LONG.

[sysmedsaresexist]

What you're doing is incredibly brave. We really appreciate the risk you're taking sharing your journey. It's awesome to see someone so vocal and with such reach openly change their stance.

We wanna know some of your thoughts about something you've been saying in all of this, about CDDs being separate from endogenic plurality. Specifically, your thoughts on when the two do meet. Like, endogenic systems that get traumatized and develop CDD symptoms? Or CDD systems that practice headmate creation, and find created headmates working like the rest of their system? Or folks in either category that relate a lot with those in the other?

We're curious because we exist in that in-between; a system with DID due to trauma, but that doesn't view our plurality itself as coming from trauma.

And if you're not at all interested in that area of overlap, or in sharing those thoughts, no worries! Have a great day!

This is a pretty nuanced ask and each mod has a different view on things, so we'll all answer!

Mod Signal: I believe that endogenic plurality and the plurality found in CDD systems works differently, but that intersection you're talking about can exist. The majority of resources for CDD systems involve how to deal with trauma and different alters reactions to it. If an endogenic system goes through some shit and gets trauma later in life, and can get use out of grounding guides, or how to deal with flooding, I say use those guides (and literally anyone can improve their mental health from therapy as long as the therapist. You know. Isn't a cunt.) That being said. There are also endos who are very certain they're endos when they may have.... a bit more trauma than they thought. And that's normal. Incredibly so. But endogenic communities can lead to a bit more harm than good occasionally with those systems if they insist that the system in question isn't or couldn't be a cdd system, or encourages them not to look into resources on how to deal with trauma.

As far as purposefully created alters, they absolutely exist, and I know CDD systems that have created alters with it going ok, and CDD systems who have been *horribly* hurt trying. I've seen some tulpamancy guides out there that made me wince the whole time I've read them. Not because they're cringy, but because any time a CDD system fucks around with purposeful dissociation, it's Incredibly easy to fuck yourself up by accident. Even some guides to meditation can be harmful to systems if you don't go slowly and pay attention to your body (something that's already very, very easy to ignore if your system, like mine, is made of 90% pain holders lol).

It's for that reason that i haven't changed my pinned intro as "endo-neutral". I dont doubt endogenic plurality at all, but I still find a lot of critiques in the way the two communities mix. The labels are fucked anyway lol so. I dont know what label would best fit that stance. The problem does seem to be slowly fixing itself though. I'm happy that a lot of endos are leaning away from terms used by CDD systems. I view these problems for the most part as growing pains that will smooth themselves over as plurality in general becomes more accepted and more research about both sets of systems comes out.

Mod Quill: I’m feel like that’s a great jumping off point for me, someone who is so weird with syscourse that labels don’t fit me. I believe in endogenic plurality, I really do, but I also know this community has done so much harm to CDDs and vice versa. Part of me wants everyone to go to time out corners and think about what they’ve done.

In terms of the overlap between endogenic and CDD systems… I think defining it, at this point, is frankly meaningless, particularly for the reasons Signal stated. There’s so many endogenic systems who are actually CDD systems. On one hand, I want them to be able to access CDD spaces because, well, they have a CDD… but on the other, as someone who’s been horrifically damaged by endogenic spaces, who has spread a lot of misinformation and been fed a lot of misinformation due to those experiences… I’m wary of letting someone like that into a highly fucking traumatized space. (But I also have feelings about CDD spaces in general…)

At the end of the day, I feel like it’s not my place to draw that line. It’s up to each individual and their own system where they draw the line, and so long as it’s in-line with current understandings of CDDs and they don’t speak their personal experiences as if they’re gospel truth for all systems, I have no issues. If someone says they have endogenic DID (as in, they formed DID with absolutely no trauma), it’s not my place to directly confront that person and tell them that’s not possible; but if they shout from the heavens about how people are ignoring the truth, I’m going to post the truth as I know it, with sources to back it up.

The same goes for this overlap. A system who says “Hey, I have created alters, and I’m a DID system, and those things overlap?” Cool! Awesome! That’s actually my type of system. A system who goes, “Therefore, DID systems should split new alters for the benefits it has”? Allow me to traumadump about how my system completely destabilized due to that practice. The overlap is there, but it’s not for me to define for others; not unless they make their experiences universal.

Mod Robo: Oh boy, I have a lot of Thoughts on all of these questions! It's stuff I think about often. I love talking about all the in-betweens and overlaps, and I'd love to hear about your experiences too. Unfortunately, I don't think I can jam all of my thoughts in this post (it's already long enough) so I'll just talk about your first question.

First off, I want to say that I don't think it's all that unusual for someone with a CDD to feel like they've always been plural, even before their CDD. Of course, spiritual beliefs can play a role in that. Let's put spiritual reasonings aside though and look at it from a purely psychological view. It's our belief that all of our alters -- everything that can be them, will become them, etc. -- it's all there from the start. We don't believe that alters come out of a vacuum. All of my alters were born the day our body was born. Many of us did not exist as alters yet, but the foundation for us existed!

To give a personal example: some of us have memories of childhood that predate our existence as alters. These memories predate our knowledge of being a system or having DID. We've wondered how it's possible to have memories that predate our existence as alters. How is it possible for several alters to have these same memories, and feel as if it's their own but also not? How is it possible that we can't really attribute "who" those memories belong to other than just...us? All of us? It didn't fit into the mainstream idea that alters are supposed to be these distinct, clear-cut people sharing a body, with separate memories and no overlap, no utterance of our existence before becoming a separate alter.

Children aren't born with an integrated self. You probably know the whole spiel -- the mind integrates as you get older, blah blah blah. So, in our opinion, we were never not plural. We had an unintegrated mind full of parts as a child, and we grew up into an adult with an unintegrated mind full of parts and eventually a DID diagnosis.

I get that some people don't see themselves as existing before their CDD and that's okay, I understand that. I also relate to that, in a way! It can be weird to consider because you as the alter didn't exist until later on. But you as the brain did, if that makes sense.

All that being said, I believe that "endogenic CDDs" are a completely separate concept from "endogenic systems with CDDs." CDDs are diagnoses -- they have specified symptoms, diagnostic criteria, and treatment. Diagnoses are not people. You are. That's why plurality is such an incredibly personal thing, after all. We're literally talking about your own mind. Your self/selves. Your internal reality. No duh there are gonna be people who conceptualize and talk about it in different ways. Like, I firmly believe that's NEVER going to be clear cut and easy to understand.

OG Dude: First, I have to say, thank you to my mods. Their responses are fantastic, I support all of them. I brought them all in pretty early, and I wouldn't be where I am without them. Their pro/endo patience while I went back and forth, screamed and yelled... I love them. I love that they saw the good in me and decided to help me run this blog.

I agree with all that they said. For clarity sake, I'll give my own thoughts, even if they overlap or repeat.

I've posted from the beginning about how a lot of things that endogenic systems talked about were actually really normal in DID systems. Created alters, characters that take on life, MADD, loving your system, dysfunction in different areas of life, on and on. I think there's more intersection than a lot of people realize, but I really like how Robo talked about personal views. It took a really long time to realize that people defining their experiences in different ways isn't necessarily a bad thing, though it's unfortunate that sometimes this confuses systems that are still learning.

Yelling and screaming isn't going to help, though. There's another ask coming, this one about my thoughts on sophie, that I think will tie into this point and expand on it a lot more, so for now, I'll move on.

I don't have all the answers. I think CDDs are something extremely specific-- I think in a few more years, diagnosis will involve brain scans, biomarkers, and we'll be able to say with a lot more certainty where that line is, and what's different.

For now, I think I've learned that the best thing I can do for myself, and everyone else, endo or CDD, is just keep pumping out information.

A couple users on here are really good examples of these lines. They have CPTSD, PTSD, whatever else they've got going on, but they still hold the belief that their plurality and CPTSD are unrelated. It took a long time to come to terms with balancing respect for that self-determination, and my expectations of technology and the specificity of CDDs (meaning like, specific biomarkers).

In the end, I realized that it boiled down to, "are people getting the help they need?" Because in the end, that's all that matters, and if someone doesn't think they need help, why am I arguing? If someone does, who am I to keep them from resources?

What if that technology doesn't reach the mainstream, what if it's decades before it's refined enough to be financially feasible in diagnosis? What if people come out with the exact same brain structure as someone with DID and still refuse to admit that the plurality is related?

Well, shit, I don't know, but I'm guessing the answer is still going to be, "Don't yell at them, respect their self-determination."

I still firmly believe that plurality and CDDs are different things. I think that treatment for CPTSD and PTSD are different, and many endos without longterm, repetitive trauma in childhood have PTSD, and would benefit more from those spaces and resources than CDD/CPTSD spaces. However, I also admit that a general PTSD space isn't going to be prepared for the complex interplay of plurality and PTSD. All that said, it's not my job to tell someone which they have, my job should be to present information on both to everyone and let people come to their own conclusions.

It's hard, but it's a skill I'm still trying to learn. Seeing more people talk about their experiences is probably the only thing that's going to help make it easier.