#and that could’ve been millions of lives saved

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.

My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.

If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.

I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.

But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.

I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.

But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.

So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.

My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.

But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.

I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.

I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.

[liminalweirdo]

The US could have avoided almost 250,000 Covid-19 deaths if every state had adopted stricter mask and vaccine requirements seen in the Northeast during the height of the pandemic, according to a new study.

Researchers say that the country, which saw more than 1.1 million Covid deaths, could have been spared an estimated 118,000 to 248,000 more lives.

covid is still killing people btw. in 2024

wear a mask

[leaawrites]

Time will pass, but our love won't

Logan Huntzberger x fem!reader

Summary: When Logan asks Y/n the one question that could ruin their future together or make it last forever.

or

A different outcome of Logan asking Rory to marry him.

Warnings: use of Y/n, suggestive content (very little), female reader, family problems (on both ends), mention of marriage

Wordcount: 2k

Masterlist

One day before her Yale graduation. He could’ve chosen the day after, when she had been blackout drunk and was now suffering from the worst hangover known to man kind. It could’ve been while they were half asleep in the middle of the night. But one day before her graduation, when everything seemed to already be too much, she couldn’t say anything but, “I need time.”

Logan was disappointed - no wonder. He knew what he wanted and he was sure that he would get it. He wanted her. Forever and always.

After Rory broke up with him, she was the one by his side. When his father had another one of his bad days and decided to let it out on Logan, she was the one who picked up the phone, knowing what happened and said to him: “Come over.” Before hanging up and setting up the living room for a late night conversation with snacks and alcohol. Whenever he had a stupid idea she would tell him which consequences he could face, though when he decided to do it anyways - so most times - she supported him no matter what. Even when it ended with him in the hospital and her cursing him out for being so stupid, saying that she would never let him leave his apartment again - which was a white lie. She was there for him; always. He wanted that to last until he died.

His father told him it was a bad idea, after he came home drunk once again, slurring his words, slamming his door shut and climbing out the window, fleeing into her arms once again. This night made him think about it more intense then ever before. In her arms he felt save. He was surprised that she still let him in after he disturbed her sleep so many times before, even when she told him it was alright because she wasn’t even asleep in the first place. Always hovering over homework she started too late since she could study better at night, with a coffee sitting next to her and a empty cup already left in the kitchen sink.

Saying that she needed time wasn’t the best answer, it was better than “no” but worse than “yes” even when it was the truth. She needed time, for everything. There had to be a list, covered in little scribbles at the edge of the paper, filled with overthinking and anxiety. Just like now.

Y/n sat on her bed, paper crumbled together, pillow stuffed between her chest and legs as she held on to it tight. tears were welling up in her eyes, which always fled back to the little blue box that held at least a million dollars in it. She hadn’t opened it since he showed it to her. Her chest was cramping together at the memory of it.

They had been on a quiet walk after leaving her parents house, filled with people none of the two knew. They stopped in the middle of the park - or rather he stopped her - and he poured his heart out to her. There had never been a moment before where she felt seen as much as right there, though the ring ruined it. It didn’t specifically ruin the moment, but it did ruin her confidence she built up in the last couple days in order to not seem to nervous when getting her certificate.

It sat there so innocently, watching her. It was almost screaming at her to open it, so she did. Her fingers were shaking as she held it between her fingers, opening it with a hammering heart. As she sat it - closely and with a still mind for the first time - there was something so calming at the thought of having a secure future. With the house and the tree and the papers that she could write for, it seemed simple. and that was what she craved. All her life, the future was always a mystery. She was never certain where she would land in the end, there was no one really securing her in that sense. It had always been all or nothing. And most time, for her at least, it had been nothing. In 8th Grade the B’s seemed to let her know that she had to work even hard for an A. In her home, the books reminded her that nothing would be enough for her to have it all. But Logan offered her everything. He offered her a hand that would take her to that All she craved.

“You look half dead, Y/n,” Rory said, half laughing at her friend and half caring.

Y/n tried to laugh with her, though the only thing leaving her mouth was a yawn, explaining her dark eyes and ever closing eye lids. Though Rory and Logan had somewhat of an relationship, that never stopped them from being close. They never became best friends, and probably never would, but they offered comfort to the other when needed.

“Had a long night,” she said, trying to ignore the raised eyebrows and fleeting glances between Lucy and Olivia.

“A long night together with Lover boy?” Lucy nudged her. As two of Rory’s friends, Lucy and Olivia quickly bonded with her too, they were bitter at the beginning after learning that their friend’s boyfriend went out with another one of their friends after breaking up, though that quickly went away when Rory also moved on, discovering an old spark with Jess. Now, all they did was tease the girl for her boyfriend’s rumored past.

“Not with him,” she defended herself, cutting off the last part of her sentence. There had never been a major conflict between the two that wasn’t solved before midnight, she was unsure how her friends would react when she told them that something happened between the two.

“Oh no, what happened?” Olivia asked, sensing the uncomfortable feeling in her friends voice.

“Nothing major, don’t worry about it,” she waved them off, crossing her arms over her chest. A forced smile covering her tired face.

“Are you sure?” Rory asked, touching her shoulder in comfort. The girl knew better than anyone how Logan can be, so a million possible answer ran through her head right now, though none of them were about what actually happened.

Just as Y/n was about to answer, someone called out for the graduates to make their way over to the event. Y/n was the first one to walk towards the stage, away from the problem. Rory’s eyes followed her, not convinced by her behavior. Lucy and Olivia only shrugged before following their friend who walked faster than ever before - which was almost impossible.

People were buzzing around her, happy families full of smiles as their children finally path their own way or crying because they went away for good now. The sun was hot on her skin under the black robe as she stared at the certificate in her hands. Finally she made it. Finally she was able to flee from her past. It was finally her time. No weekends filled with guilt because everyone else got to go home to their family. No holidays spent alone at a lake house she couldn’t associate with anything but family drama and fights. Now, every weekend, every holiday, was for her to decide how it went.

“They’re not here, are they?” A voice said, making her look up. Logan cast a shadow over her body as she sat against a tree on campus. He looked down at her, holding his hand out to help her up.

“On a business trip,” she said, while pulling herself up. Standing now face to face he saw what everyone else saw for the first time. The broken girl he only got to know behind closed doors. She wasn’t sad about her parent’s absence, it happened before. Now it didn’t face her anymore.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve made them come here for you,” Logan said, hands stuffed in his pockets. An awkward silence settled over the pair that was full of smiles and giggles most times.

“It’s not that important,” she said, smiling at him in an attempt to make it more comfortable. Both knew what caused the tension, now she only had to take the knife and decide what to do with it. “Not as important as something else.”

“I remember when I graduated,” Logan said, trying to make their conversation last a little longer in case it was their last. “I was a little tipsy - that’s a big surprise, huh? - And I did trip, and I reached out and grabbed the robe of Marcia Hadley, who was so not the person to grab.”

“Logan,” Y/n said, making him stop talking. She always had been the one who was rational enough to start a conversation when it was needed, even when it might hurt.

“I love you,” he said, taking her hands in his. “If this is the last time I tell you that, I want you to know that I mean. There is no one I’ve ever loved or cared about as much as I do with you.”

“Logan,” she tried again to stop his rambling, though he wouldn’t shut up.

“I have everything planned out, everything. There is nothing you need to worry about. You want to never work again? It’s alright, I won’t be happy about it, but if you want to, do it. You want to have a Porsche that I can’t even pay? I will work extra.”

“I made a list,” she cut him off. “And I have thought about it a lot, as you can probably see,” she moved her hand towards her face, making both laugh, “and that ‘All or nothing’ motto that you have, I’m unsure about that.”

“Y/n,” Logan sighed, almost pleading for her to stop talking words he didn’t want to hear.

“Let me finish, please,” she said.

“I always do,” he joked, raising his eyebrows.

Y/n ignore his comment, though her checks warmed up a bit. “As I already said, I’ve made a list and I came to a conclusion, because - if I’m being honest - I only had one thing staying on there.” Slowly she lost her hands from his, pulling the little blue box out of her pocket.

“Y/n, don’t do this to me,” he begged, the color leaving his face.

“Ask me again,” she said, putting the box in his direction.

Logan looked up at her in surprised, his eyes filled with a mix of confusion and hope. “What?” he asked, hoping he didn’t misunderstand her.

“Ask me again,” she urged him.

“Y/n L/n, do you wanna marry me?” He asked again, opening the box only to find it empty. He looked at it confused, fear threatening on his face as he feared he lost it.

“I will,” she said, left hand lifting up to meet his face. Logan’s face lit up, the heat of the sun finally filling his veins. As he was about to close the gap between his lover and him, she stopped him, hand placed on his cheek to push him back a bit. “Under one condition.”

“What now?” He sounded almost desperate to finally kiss her.

“We’re not gonna marry in the next year, only figuring our new life out with new jobs and a new home. When we have that all figured out, you can finally make me Mrs. Huntzberger officially,” she told him.

His stance fell for a second before he straightened his back again and nod his head. “Alright. One year and not longer.”

“You’re a desperate man, Huntzberger,” Y/n said, smirking as she came closer to his face.

“Only for you, Mrs Huntzberger,” he said, laughing at her. Closing the distance felt like a vow already. They knew that it wasn’t gonna be a long year, not if they spent it together at least.

[bumblebriez]

Love Stricken (PT.3)

(Gojo Satoru x Chubby!Fem!Reader)

(PT.1) (PT.2) (PT.4) (PT.5)

⚠️⚠️⚠️: Swearing, no smut in this one, just a bit of love and a BAD possessive Ex.

Never in a million years would you think, you'd catch the eyes of a certain jujutsu sorcerer but you did and with that came alot of consequences. That you would eventually find out the hard way.

Your parents vanished a good couple of years ago with no knowledge of why and where, leaving you; the eldest, to care and provide for your younger siblings. Being responsible and forgetting about the life you used to live, you felt lost. Struggling a lot with your self worth.

Your best friend took it upon herself to finally get you to live your life a little more by taking you out on the town for a night.

But you found that night was the start of your downfall.

Ahhhhhh hah heeeyyy 🫣

So we listen and we don’t judge..

Nah but for real, apologies for taking a long time, I really haven’t picked up any of my works, I just haven’t been motivated to write at all but what I did end up writing ages ago, I just finished. Just a reminder this isn’t following the plot, there will be aspects from it but not really.

Im gonna try and motivate myself more because I really do enjoy writing and I was really enjoying getting into the rhythm of this one. I have some… plans for this.

Sadly this chapter isn’t as long as the last two but I’ll make up for it. Appreciate the support! Thank you for reading! <3

********

GIF by saewrq

********

It been a good couple of weeks since you heard from Gojo. You quite literally held onto the fact he would call you back later.

You convinced yourself that he was just busy to save yourself some pity.

You’d kind of wished you had forgotten the whole thing but atlas, you didn’t. Every night you laid there, staring at your phone; waiting for his name to flash on the screen.

And now you’re thinking; maybe you should have called him instead.

Maybe you were in over your head already.

Maybe you were feeling delusional.

Another week goes by and you find yourself standing in your small kitchen, staring at a new bouquet of flowers that sat upon the counter.

You had assumed that they were from Gojo, though it didn’t say. You wouldn’t lie.. it was a cute gesture but it pissed you off. How did he have the time to send you fucking flowers but not send you a simple text?

Your phone resting in your hand and you struggle to tap on his contact. You run your free hand through your messy hair; trying and failing at calming your overwhelming body.

Letting out a sigh of defeat, you place your phone softly on the counter. Anxiety ran through your veins, shaking your body at the simple thought of even sending a text.

You didn’t want to seem… needy.

Even though you haven’t even tried to talk to the man.

Maybe you were playing too much and you just missed out on something that could’ve been great.

All these intrusive thoughts ran through your head, making you feel worse and worse. You fail to notice little eyes peering up at you.

“Sidda?” You break from your trance, turning to look down at the little strawberry blonde haired girl. Her little fingers wrapping around the edge of the hoodie, you wore.

“Yes baby?” You hummed, crouching down to her level.

“Are we still going to the park today, like you promised?”Her body swayed slightly as if she was nervous to ask. The question immediately triggering a previous memory of the promise from last week.

“Shit.” You whispered to yourself, Akari not hearing your swear.

“Yes.. yes! Of course. Go get your brother and we can get ready to leave.” Your eyes fluttered to your kitchen window, the bright sun rays shining through.

It is a beautiful day.

A day for distractions.

You watched excitement spread across the wee girl’s face; your lips curl into a smile.

Akari darts off, wasting no more time; her voice echoing throughout the house, hollering after her brother.

You take one last look at your phone; a desperate attempted at manifestation.

Demolishing every last bit of hope you clung onto, you let out a sigh of defeat. Your feet move before your body as they slowly stride out of the kitchen.

At least it was a good night. One you most likely won’t forget.

Little to your knowledge, the day was only beginning.

**

A faded smile sits on your lips as you watch the memory play on your phone. It was an old video, one where Akari didn’t even exist yet.

You watch as your father hoists your little brother into the air when he was just a wee boy, his giggling flew out of your phone’s speakers.

A familiar sadness filled your core as you swiped to another video.

Your mother was cradling her newborn in her arms, a cute little girl. Your mother’s eyes were filled with so much love as she stared down at Akari. It wasn’t long after that they had vanished, leaving nothing but leaving you with everything.

Your tongue swiped at your bottom lip, wetting the dryness as you lock your phone, having enough of reminiscing.

You look over to where your siblings had gone off too and see your little brother pushing your baby sister on the swing.

Families walked past you of all shapes and sizes, parents and their newborns. No broken families insight.

You were lost in your daze not noticing your little brother approaching you. Alone.

“Have you seen Akari?” You jump at the sudden voice, immediately alarmed.

“What do you mean Riku? She was just with you?” You exclaimed to the younger ebony haired boy, moving to stand up; your eyes scanning the playground equipment.

“I know. She just ran off, I assumed she was coming to you.” He said back, following you as you slowly made your way around the playground, looking for your little bundle of joy.

“You can’t take your eyes off her, you know that.”

“Why weren’t you watching then!” You chose to ignore his comment, knowing he was right. You should’ve known better.

Your pace started to speed up as you felt your heart leap into your throat. If anything happened to her, you would never forgive yourself.

“She kept saying something about patting the pretty doggy. Dogs aren’t even aloud in here.” Riku spoke as he kept up with you. That only made you worry even more, thinking she left the safety of the boundaries.

Both of you past the food stands, specifically the ice cream one, thinking maybe she changed her course and was wanting an ice cream.

You accidentally bumped into a man, not bothering to look up, too focused on your own.

You muttered a quick apology before setting off again, pulling your little brother with you.

The man stood in shock and confusion at the sudden impact that he was not expecting; watching as you disappeared from his view.

To your relief, the search was short lived as the familiar strawberry blonde started to come into view.

You sigh loudly as you made your way to her, seeing a teen crouched down, talking to the little girl.

“Akari! You can’t run off like that.” Ignoring the teen, you quickly pulled the girl into your arms, squeezing her tightly.

“I wanted to pat the pretty puppy.” Her voice croaked out as you held her at arms length.

“Honey. Dogs aren’t aloud in here.” You say softly as you caressed her plush red cheek in your hand.

“Yeah. Idiot.” Riku muttered lightly, earning a glare from you.

“Yes they are. It was his doggy!” She pointed to the teen behind her and you finally acknowledged the awkward teen as he stared at the little girl with a semi shocked expression.

“I’m sorry about her. She has a crazy imagination. Always running off to find something new.” You grumbled, standing to your feet, dusting the grit from your knees; attention on him.

“It’s.. fine.” The teen spoke with uncertainty, his dark blue eyes meeting yours. Making you feel a little uneasy as the shock was quick to go, replaced by a stoic expression.

“Thank you for staying with her..?”

“Megumi.”

“Megumi! Thank you. I appreciate it.” You exclaimed with a bright smile. He didn’t really respond, simply giving you a nod.

“Y/N?”

You turn to the man that was approaching your little group, who just happened to be the one you ran into earlier. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint where you’ve seen him from or why he felt so familiar.

He was sporting a dark blue jacket with a high collar and matching slim pants, along with a pair of black dress boots.

But what stood out the most to you was the black blindfold he was wearing.

Not to mention the deathly familiar pure white hair.

Just as you were going to apologise for bumping into him, it hit you like a truck.

“Satoru?”

“I see you’ve met one of my students.” He gestured to Megumi but your eyes never left his form.

You’ve been waiting for weeks to hear from this man.

And here he was. Two ice creams in his hands. At the park.

All kinds of feelings surge through your body as all kinds of thoughts swirled in your head.

Realising this was definitely not the place to speak your mind. You don’t speak.

at least to him.

“Come on kids. We’re leaving.” You mumbled down to your siblings. Avoiding wherever Gojo’s glaze was.

“But-“ Akari tried to protest but you just gave her a stern look, quick to interrupt her; your hands pushing against their backs.

“I said we’re leaving.”

Satoru was shocked when he saw you, he saw you a mile away. Excitement was brewing in his chest at the thought he’d finally get to see you again, to the point he’d purposely allowed you to bump into him; lowering his infinity.

But to his surprise, you didn’t recognise him. At least not right away.

He wasn’t going to lie.

He was expecting a bigger reaction from you than what he got.

And he knew deep down, he was definitely the cause.

Work was busy, it was very hands on; more than normal. These special grade curses were really giving it to him; especially Sukana and from that he didn’t realise how much time had passed.

Satoru watched your retreating form, most definitely watching your plump ass swaying with every step.

“Who and what did you do to her?” Gojo’s not only student but dependent muttered to him; eyeing his guardian suspiciously.

“That’s offensive. I’m offended!” Megumi rolled his eyes annoyingly at the ‘adult’ and his deflection at the question.

Satoru sighed softly, the smile he was forcing dropping slightly.

“Completely nothing. That’s why.” The raven haired boy’s eyebrow raised as Gojo’s facade slipped away for a second.

“You two should probably make up. That little girl saw my shikigami. She could be in trouble.”

Gojo tapped his chin as thoughts ran through his head. He was obviously pretty good at sensing cursed energy but he didn’t sense any within you.

Were they your offspring?

Where was their dad?

“You’re right Gumi!” His feet moved before his torso, a hop to his step; pushing the ice cream cones he just purchased into Megumi’s hands.

“Where are you going? We are supposed to be looking for this special grade.” Megumi called out, watching his guardian bounce away.

“To make up! You’ve got this!” The raven huffed out before looking down at his shikigami companion; the living twin.

“Don’t call me that.” The boy whispered more to himself before poking his tongue out to lick at the frozen concoction.

“Gross. Rum raisin.”

**

You sit in your room with your head in your hands, your foot was bouncing against the hardwood floor.

You felt anger. Unnecessary anger. Shame.

His stupid handsome face kept flashing in your mind. It was driving you crazy.

You really shouldn’t be angry, it takes two to tango but is it wrong to expect someone to make the first move?

You’ve been fucked over and fooled too many times to count and with a guy like Gojo.. you want to take extra precautions.

Is that so wrong?

Why do you feel so stupid then?

“What’s wrong?” You quickly lift your head up and see Riku standing in your doorway, looking at you with almost worry.

“It’s nothing. Just have a headache.” You smile briefly, correcting your posture.

“It’s not what I said right? I’m sorry if it is.” His almost worrying expression deepened; his eyes glistening.

“No no. It’s not that. It’s really nothing.” Obviously it was something. You just didn’t want to explain you’d caught feelings for the guy you had a one night stand with to your 13 year old brother.

The boys frown deepened, knowing it wasn’t nothing. He knew you better than that but for his own safety, he wasn’t going to push it further.

The last thing he wanted to see was you upset over nothing that was obviously something.

“Where’s your sister?” You asked as you watched Riku make his way over to you, taking a seat beside you.

“Watching her dumb show.” The boy muttered with an annoyed tone. You smiled sweetly before bumping him softly with your elbow “You use to watch dumb shows too.”

Riku scoffed with a roll of his eyes “Yeah but not like hers. They are really dumb.” You giggled at your younger brother.

You hummed lightly, wrapping an arm around his back; pulling him closer, squeezing softly.

“Do you still think about Mum and Dad?” That previous feeling of sadness returned, your smile dropped slightly.

“Of course. Every now and again.” You spoke with a small voice.

“I don’t. Every-time I think about them, I get mad.” Your hand brushed through Riku’s jet black locks.

“What makes you mad?”

“That they left. They left us here.” Your head tilted to rest on the crown of his own. You weren’t going to lie, you were resentful. You use to be filled to the brim with anger.

So you understood completely where he was coming from but the more you grew into the person you are now.. the more responsible you became.

You had no room for unwarranted feelings. You had had kids to care for. You needed to be different. You needed to grow up.

Perhaps that’s where a lot of your problems stem from. Perhaps those feelings are still there, bottled up.

“Siddda.” The comfort of the silence was broken as your little sister appeared in your room. Pulling a slight grumble from Riku.

“Yes baby?” Her little hand pointed in the direction of the living room.

“There’s a weird man at the front door, he’s asking for you.” You perked an eyebrow at Akari before pushing Riku from you; gently.

“Both of you, stay here.” You muttered, pushing your sister further into your room.

Your feet hit the hardwood floors softly as you strided your way to the living room.

Immediately you halt as you see the ‘weird’ man now in your humble abode. Shivers ran up your spine as your eyes take him in.

“I thought she would recognise me, I’m a bit hurt.”

You straightened your posture, staring coldly at the man.

“Why would she?”

He tilted his head at you, a smirk resting on his lips. “She did love me.”

“She was two.”

He started to look around your home, taking small steps towards you. Making you feel on edge more than you already are.

“Nothings changed I see.”

“What do you want Zack?”

You huffed in annoyance, placing your hands on your hips as you stared daggers at your.. previous partner.

His smirk widened slightly as you almost prowled around your living room, his eyes never leaving yours. “Can’t I just visit an old friend?”

You removed your hands from your hips, crossing your arms across your chest instead, the annoyed expression deepening on your features. “We are not friends. If I remember correctly, we ended on bad terms.”

Zack let out a small breathless chuckle, his eyes glancing over at the entrance to the kitchen, seeing your flowers sitting on the counter but the archway. He changed the topic quick.

“I see you got my flowers.” His eyes landed back onto you.

“Your-“ Your eyes widened slightly, realising you had been wrong. They weren’t from Gojo. They were from HIM. “You sent them?”

He let out a small playful scoff “Of course. Who else?”

You couldn’t help be feel the pang of disappointment in your heart, your face showing that you were more offended than disappointed though, trying to hide the fact.

He lean forward a little that stupid smirk still on his lips “Did you think you got it from someone else? Please.”

“Who would send you flowers when you barely leave the house?” He continued to talk down to you, his tone carrying not only amusement but condescension.

“You need to leave.” You spoke in a stern tone, not in the mood for his antics, you didn’t know why he was here and frankly you couldn’t care less.

“Come on. I know you miss me.” Zack purred, starting to slowly make his way over to you, you couldn’t help yourself as your body recoiled slightly, taking a few steps back, not wanting him any closer.

Your breathing hitched as you felt your back hit the wall and Zack was now standing in front of you, you could practically smell his awful cologne that you always hated flowing off him in waves.

“See. I can see it. You still want me.”

You turned your nose up at him, unable to hide the disgust that started to rise inside you. “I don’t.” Unable to stop the growl.

Suddenly Zack slammed you against the wall, holding you against it by your shoulders, his smirk turning into something more.. sinister. A look you were all to familiar with.

You couldn’t help the hard flinch from your body, the sharp gasp that escaped your lips.

Zack’s eyes glimmered as he leaned in towards your ear “You’re mine. Always will be.” A cold shiver ran through you, fear slowly creeping through.

“What are you doing?” A younger voice broke through the tension, saving you from.. whatever the situation was leading too.

Both You and Zack turned towards the voice and you saw Riku standing there, Akari hiding behind him.

Zack forced a sickly sweet smile, looking back at you, releasing his hold on your shoulders; brushing down your arms to straighten your top.

“Just catching up kid.” You let out a small breath of relief as he pulled away, removing himself from your boundaries.

Zack sent you a small wink before turning on his heels and heading for the door but not before looking over his shoulders and saying “Enjoy the flowers Y/N.”

And with that he left.

Leaving you with unspoken feelings that had seemed to have never left, trauma that was never fixed.. that you didn’t think could be.

You turned to your siblings, forcing yourself to be strong. Strong for them but not for yourself..

Forcing a small shaky smile to them, ignoring the look Riku was giving you as he studied your demeanour. That boy was too smart for his own good.

“Let’s get dinner ready.”

**

After settling your siblings in, preparing dinner and tucking them in for the night.

You made your way out of your house, the bouquet of flowers in your hand, your feet heading straight towards the trash can.

Without any hesitation, you threw the flower to the bottom of the bin, slamming the lid shut and letting out a shaky breath.

You inhaled deeply, running a hand through your hair, dragging your hand down your face.

“Those from your boyfriend?”

Your eyes widened, your whole body jumping from the unexpected voice, you twirl around to face the man, being met with Satoru.

A sheepish grin plastered on his lips, his hands shoved into his pockets. He was dressed in casual attire, very different from what you witnessed him in earlier today. No blindfold. His glasses in place.

You couldn’t ignore how attractive he looked, or the way he made you feel just by being in his presence.

But yet you couldn’t help but feel uneasy, not because of him. (Though you couldn’t help still being pissed at him no matter how good he looked.) but from Zack. He really sent you in a spiral and you felt unsafe. On edge.

“Wha- what are you doing here?” You stuttered out, wrapping your arms around your body, he tilted his head as he took you in, if he noticed something was off.. he didn’t question it.

“So you can talk?” His smile widened just slightly, his eyes slowly trailing over your body, not bothering to hide his interest.

You huffed in annoyance, your eyes involuntarily rolling at his teasing tone. Not a word you heard from this man and he had the urge to tease you.

His smile softened lightly as he took in your annoyed stance.

“Look..” He started with a fleet of hesitation in his tone, taking a step forward. “I get that you’re.. pissed at me-“

You held your hand up to stop him from talking. “I don’t want to hear any excuses. I really don’t.” You made yourself move, heading back towards your porch. You felt guilty that you might’ve been a bit too harsh but you were feeling overwhelmed with.. everything.

Gojo wanted to reach out and grab you but refrained from it, instead choosing to follow you, his eyes briefly glancing over to your trash can.

“Y/N.” He called softly, following you to your front door.

“Please Satoru. I can’t handle this right now.” You murmured softly, going to open the front door.

Gojo couldn’t help but feel frustrated at your lack of patience, he normally could withstand most things, biting back with his own sense of humour and attitude.. but you were different. God you were different and he needed that.

He wanted you. Even if it was just after one night.. you made him feel.. normal. Like he could relax for once. Not being put on a constant pedestal.

“Please just talk to me. Let me explain.” He couldn’t help the hint of desperation that lured into his voice.

You turned to face him with a hard expression “I’m not some booty call okay? Someone you can just.. you can’t just say things like you did and just disappear!” You sighed deeply before continuing. He straightened his posture as he listened, his smile had been completely wiped from his face.

“I just.. I’ve been fucked over too many times, lead on.. hurt and I’ve always been a fool to fall for it..” His face soften at your words but he didn’t interrupt you, he didn’t force his way to control the moment like he knew he could.

“Sweetheart.. You’re more than that.” Gojo spoke softly, taking a few steps up the small stairs connected to your porch before he was standing in front of you, not invading your space like he was prone too, he wanted to pull you in.. not push you away.

“I didn’t lie. I meant everything I said. My life is.. hectic. Work keeps me on my toes, I never wanted you to think I was avoiding you and I’m so sorry that I made you doubt.” Gojo couldn’t believe the words that flowed from his mouth like it was the easiest thing in the world. It wasn’t a common affliction for him to be serious but he wanted you to know.. he needed you to know that he was more than interested in you.

“I won’t lie.. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that night..” He smiled lightly; his hands clenching into fists trying to ignore the urge to reach out and grab you.

Throughout when he spoke, your hard expression turned more soft but you still felt like you had to be on guard, shaking your head lightly at his comment about your hookup.

He stepped closer to you, peering down at you and not in an intimidating way. You tensed slightly as he reached up to caress the side of your neck.

“You’re absolutely breathtaking and I’d be the fool to not fight for something I want.” You could hear the determination in his voice, his hand moving to your jaw to tilt your chin up at him.

“So what’s it going to be doll. Think you can give me another chance?”

You couldn’t help the small curl of your lips, as you shook your head lightly. “Is that a yes?” He pressed with a mischievous smile, stepping closer to you, his hand came up to caress your cheek gently.

“You better not make me look like a fool.” *You whispered softly, leaning into his touch.*

“Wouldn’t dream of it sweetheart.” Before you could say anything, his lips pressed to yours, moving in a slow and tender manner, your body seemed to react on it’s own; wrapping your arms around his neck as you kept up the pace.

Your eyes fluttered closed blissfully but Gojo’s however..

His bright blue eyes opened and glanced over slowly to your trash can..

His eyes narrowed slightly as his lips continued to move with yours, watching the cursed energy consume the can, swirling menacingly around it. That bouquet wasn’t just any bundle of flowers..

[yaut-jaknowit]

Predator x a former Weyland-Yutani researcher who does NOT want their children anywhere near a xenomorph at any point in time/is not so hot onnthe whole "hunting the most dangerous game" thing in general.

Monsters Under The Bed

Character: Woftik (male Yautja) x GN!Reader

Word Count: 2077

Summary: On the north end of the planet, the cold weather is brutal. Only the strong survive. One of your children is nearing their chiva. The blooding ceremony where she could die. You didn't want her to go. She's still your baby to you. Still so small like the day she was born. But Woftik is the leader of the tribe. This must be done.

Author Note: This thought process for many of those who have children with Yautjas is probably high. Humans aren't used to such a thing. Sometimes it works in their favor, but others... not so much.

Masterlist

Ao3

“I will not allow our child to be slaughter by those, by those monsters!” you screamed off at the top of your head. Tears streamed down your sticky cheeks. A finger was shoved into Woftik’s chest, not even making the Yautja sway. “It’s one thing for you to go out there and hunt but it’s another to send our child to their deaths!”

Out of all the things he could’ve said today, you weren’t expecting him to state it’s time for your daughter to become a newly blooded. Woftik had been training her since she could walk how to hunt. Hunting normal things for food or necessity. Not going off to fight an eight-legged creature who only comes out at certain times in a year. This thing lives in caves. Caves. Limited space to fight. The beast was around twenty feet tall, scary beyond belief, and – oh, could kill your daughter! How did he not understand this?!

Woftik let you yell at him, let you take your anger out at him. An angry partner was bad. But he knew better from experience not to feed into the energy. After some time, you’ll wear yourself out eventually.

The nonreaction from him only pissed you off more. It gave you the wrong signals. As if, he didn’t care about you or your feelings or your daughter. Your fists trembled at your sides. You were red in the face, hot headed and all. “You don’t care?! You don’t care she could die because it’s part of your culture to send your children to death. But, I will not stand for this.” You put down your foot firmly and jabbed your finger into his chest again.

Only a brow lifted to acknowledge the jab. “Woftik, you will not send Vo to her death. I will not stand for this. I don’t care if its part of your culture.” With your past experience with Weyland-Yutani, you knew some of their culture and history. Dangerous. Death. That’s the foundations that you saw. Kill or be killed in their line of work.

Why in all the years did you decide to free this asshole and allow him to take you away from earth. You will never know what you were thinking back then. Young and stupid. Here comes this big, burly, monster who sweeps you off your feet and saves you after saving him. How idiotic you were. Cause now look at the trouble that’s put you in.

After all the yelling, releasing the pent up anger, the energy left your body. You panted, shoulders heaving while glaring up at the giant off white Yautja in front of you. His stance or features hadn’t even changed once since the start of the argument. You wanted to get angry all over again but saw no point. If he won’t budge, what’s the point to try again?

“Woftik,” you soft call his name. The glare on your face turning into a pleading expression. “Please.”

One of his upper mandibles twitched. “Sweetheart.” Woftik cupped your hot face in his hands and drew you in closer. “This is for her. She has trained since the moment she could stand. She must take this step in her life to continue to live within our tribe. Or else she’ll be forced out.” His thumbs rubbed at both the wet and dry tears stuck to your cheeks. “This is for her own good. Even our own daughter has to face the same challenges as any other Yautja.”

Your heart broke into a million pieces. Tears fell more constantly. You shook your head in his hands, trying to deny his words. “Woftik, please. Don’t do this. Don’t send her out there. She’ll die. She’s… she’s not like you. She’s human too.” As much as you hate to use your species in a demeaning way to yourself, if it helped. So be it.

A hybrid. A surprise you didn’t think was scientifically possible. Two different species, different DNA, different chromosomes. It shouldn’t be logical. But, here was your daughter, Vo-tok. She was living proof.

His mandibles drew up into his mouth. “And that will be her advantage to this. I believe in her skill and my skill. Remember, I taught her everything she knows. Do you trust me?” he asked, softening his voice and drawing your full attention to him.

The lump in your throat was hard to swallow down. Your gaze slipped down to the ground. Anywhere besides his dark brown eyes that could see into your very soul. His hands on your cheeks tilted your head up even more to find the thing you tried to hide from.

“Do you trust me?”  By his god, you did. A lot. It was your human nature to fret about your daughter though. He’s trained. Cleanly. You’ve seen him in action when he had to take down the base he had been locked up in. No human could stand in his path and live. All except yourself. That was because you had saved his life. The code all respected Yautjas follow to a T. He had been forced by said code to take you back with him, despite his want to slaughter you. Except, you had freed him from his bonds and gave him a chance to escape.

Pain was evident in your eyes. “Woftik,” you whined his name. The Yautja tightened his hold, silently demanding an answer from you. A sigh left you, eyes shutting softly with a wince. “You know I do.”

Despite your anger, your rage on the male, there wasn’t a doubt you trusted him. You had to in this line of work. Without him, being in the cold, freezing North Pole, you would’ve perished long ago.

Woftik released a deep rumble that sounded similar to a purr. His face grew close to nuzzle his temple to yours. “Then, trust my training. I’ve taught plenty before. Not all have returned from the hunt. I won’t lie to you. Her chances are greater than any other trainer,” he explained and pulled away. Your eyes fluttered open to find his nearly black eyes looking deep into yours.

“How can you expect from me to do this? I can’t. I can’t just turn a blind eye and let our daughter near such a thing. Why can’t she just hunt something normal? Like those deer-like creatures you bring home every once in a while,” you tried to reason with him one more time. Anything to get him to break. “This is our daughter we’re talking about.”

His eyes hardened for a moment. “And all of my children have gone through similar training either by me or their mother. They’ve endured the hunt. Not all have survived. It’s their final test to become a hunter. Vo-tok is half ooman but that may be an advantage to her.” How could he possibly think such a thing? Compared to his kind, Yautjas are weak, fragile. Plenty of other Yautjas have told you so despite who is your mate and what your position is in their clan.

From the determination in his eyes and voice, there was no way to win this verbal battle with him. As much as you hated it, his word was law. He led his clan with a mighty fist and ensured their survival through the harshest of months. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t take your word or listen to you. He’s often done that. But, this was one thing he won’t budge on.

And that made you feel a hurricane of feelings for him.

You turned your head away, pulling away from his touch. “When does this ‘hunt’ begin?” you asked in a defeated tone, faced tucked to the side.

Woftik sighed and squared his shoulders. “Three days, at dusk. The beast only comes out at night.” Your heart clenched at the thought of your daughter fighting at night. This couldn’t get worse. You flinched and hugged yourself, trying to fight off the new wave of tears again.

Your shoulders were bunched. You forced yourself to take a few steps away from him. “Okay,” you softly said then turned around and walked away from him. Distance was needed. Space and time. You had to go spend time with your daughter. Before everything may change before your eyes.

Worst of all. You had three other children with him. Woftik was sentencing all of them to their deaths. And there’s nothing you could do to stop it. All he expected from you was to trust the training he puts all four of them through. But Woftik is… Woftik. He could handle himself. You’ve seen it personally, up front and personal. But this, this is completely different. Your children. This is your children you were talking about.

The eldest of your children wasn’t even home. She was out, training with another group of young bloods nearing their blooding ceremony. And none of their parents were objecting this. It was part of their culture. A hard pill to swallow for an outsider who wanted to protect your children from the monsters.

The others were in the playroom that branched off of from the common room. You walked through said space to find all of your little ones huddled together, eyes wide. Their whispering stopped immediately at your approach.

Unease had settled in their dark eyes. Your heart broke all the more at the sight. Instantly, you knelt before them, brows furrowed up. “Oh, babies,” you cooed to them in a soft, gentle tone.

None of them were babies anymore. The second oldest, Ma’ril, was thirteen in Yautja years, nearing his own blooding as well. Then, you had Tink-on. She was twelve. Lastly, was Veir. He was nine. The youngest in your family. Yet, all of them knew the basics at least of hunting. Each progressing in different weapons that suited them best. Woftik ensuring to hit every style to find what fits them. He was so careful about their training. That at first, you weren’t fretting about their upcoming hunts. Until the day comes.

It was closing in fast.

“You heard us yelling, didn’t you?” you asked, disappointed in yourself. This is one of your worst fears.

Veir nodded his head silently and looked at you from underneath his brows. You flinched as if he had struck you. It was one thing to shout at your partner but another to have your children hear it.

“Oh, babies, I’m so sorry. We were disagreeing on something. I’m… I’m just scared for your older sister. I can’t help it. It’s part of being human.” Something they were burdened with. The emotions of a human and the talents and skills of a Yautja. Two ideas that don’t mix well. “But, we came to an agreement. There’s nothing to worry about now.”

They all looked at each other before returning their eyes to you. Timidly, you opened your arms and waited with bated breath. One after another, Ma’ril, Veir, and Tink-on piled in on each other. All of them snugging you into a hug.

“You know I love you with all of my heart, right?” A question you couldn’t but ask in the aftermath. Each one nodded and voiced that they knew. “Good. Good. I’m very glad. I love you guys so much. You’re my world.”

And they were. They were your lifeline. Woftik was part of that as well. Pieces to the puzzle that made up your life. A life you didn’t want to see break up if a piece goes missing. You had to hold back the tears desperate to fall. The idea hurting more than you thought.

You felt the eyes before hearing the soft steps of Woftik. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the hulking, white giant stalk into the room quiet as ever. He moved with ease and lowered himself to his knees at your side. Your gave him a tight lipped smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. The pain was too fresh in your heart to forgive him just yet.

“They heard us,” you explained in soft voice that only he could hear. The off-white Yautja hummed and scooted closer, showering the four of you with his warmth. His muscular arms came around and encircled all of you. You leaned into him, taking the embrace to quell the pounding of your heart.

Nothing needed to be said about your family. Mismatched, imperfect as it was, you loved it more than anything.

[jackiequick]

Livin’ On A Prayer | Top Gun Marverick Fanfic AU ✈️

Established Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ x Amber ‘Skysolo’ Kazansky , Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky x Hazel ‘Daredevil’ Quinn

Characters mentioned: Wraith, Georgia ‘Peach’ Wells, Frostbite, Dane ‘Bone Saw’ Bradshaw & Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw, Maverick and etc

Timeline: 3 Years Post-Top Gun Maverick

Summary: Jacob Seresin never in a million years thought he’d be asking the Admiral a very simple yet important question

Notes: ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I WRITTEN A FIC FOR THIS FANDOM 😘 (pls be nice!!)

~~~

~~~~~~

He was sweating. He was nervous. He might as well been a little nauseous.

This was rare for him. Hangman is never this anxious for anything. But the fact that he was so happy yet terrified of the prospect? That made him nervous.

For the past three years, he’s been on cloud nine.

He’s studying to become an official member of Top Gun, to someday teach a group of young pilots and not just go out on missions where he’s deployed from weeks or months at a time. He has been able to rekindle friendships with his fellow Daggers and been to a few of their previous projects as well. But the biggest thing was that he found himself in the position of being with The Admiral’s daughter.

Amber Nic Kazansky.

Never in a billion years would Jake ever believe he’d be here. He’s been so busy and terrified of a commitment relationship before, in fear that if he’d ever get into a situation where something bad happened to him—he will be leaving his loved ones behind and completely heartbroken. Or worse.

But when a certain Angel walked into his life? Oh jeez, he couldn’t help but feel a burst of emotion and curiosity, that made him completely uneasy yet excited at the same time.

And now, here he stood outside of her parent’s house about to ask the biggest question of his life.

Yeah, sure, he could’ve asked Maverick or Frost to Amber’s hand in marriage. But he knew deep down, he’d just needed to get to the source of his love. Daredevil and Iceman—Tom and Hazel. Wraith, Danny, Frostbite and even his own sister said, he’d probably chock on his own spit. Oh god, he hoped not.

With a deep and steady breath, he knocked on the door of the house today. He waited on the front porch eyeing every single detail of the house. The flowers, the swing on the front porch, the coloring of the door, and how the windows to the living room were cracked open to let in the cold breeze. Oh gosh—this must’ve been anyone’s guess to run now and save yourself.

GAH! What was Jake saying?! He’s been to this house plenty of times before and even cracked a beer with this family more times than he can count! Suddenly he’s scared shitless? Great job, Hangman…you’re screwed.

He quickly snapped out of it once the door swung open to showcase the lovely brunette who lived here. Hazel smiled softly, her hair was tossed in a low bun, black jeans and a navy blue graphic t-shirt hung loosely underneath her sweater. Hell, she was wearing slippers with socks on. That gave Jake some relief.

“Jake, hi.” Hazel greeted him, leaning her body weight over the doorway, “How are you, honey?”

“Hi ma’am.” He greeted in return with a smile, “I’m doing well, thanks for asking.”

“That’s good, sweetheart. Um Amber isn’t here, she’s out with Peach and Phoenix, sorry.”

“Oh no, no! I mean…I know, I know that she is. I actually came by to see you.”

“Me? For what for? Did you boys get in trouble again?”

Jake laughed and shook his head. Maverick, him and the rest of daggers had a silly reputation of getting in trouble sometimes, resulting in needing someone to bail them out. Mainly Audrey, Ice and Hazel.

“No, no, we’re fine.” He replied reassuringly her, “I think it’s better if I do this inside. It’s pretty chilly out here.”

Hazel nods smiling as she led him into the kitchen. The two chatted softly about work and how things were going in their personal lives, as Hazel poured him a drink. They chuckled and smiled as they spoke, until the brunette remembered what Jake originally came here for.

“So, Jake, what did you want to ask me?” Hazel asked kindly, taking a sip of her drink.

He paused sipping his drink midway through as he took a breather and answered, “Well…um, it’s something involving me and your daughter.”

“You’re not having trouble with your relationship, are you? Because then there will be an issue. ”

“What?! No! No! We’re good, we’re pretty good. Honestly we’re doing amazing, I think.”

Hazel put her drink down in curiosity, as she searched Hangman’s eyes for an answer. From the moment he walked in, she could practically smell something was happening in his behavior. He was usually cheeky, extremely warm and friendly with others, aside from his cocky demeanor at times. Overall she liked him. But today? He was pretty much just not his usual self.

“Jake.” She started with a kind yet strong tone, “Whatever it is. You can tell me, might as well say it now or forever hold your peace.”

He nods and cleared his throat before smiling as he strongly stated, “I want to marry your daughter, Ms. Kazansky.”

Hazel was silent for a moment. Her expression seemed almost content yet calm, as if trying to figure out what exactly he was implying here. Yet, she couldn’t help but let a grin rise to her lips. She shook her head fondly and exhaled lightly. She did tell him to say it now or forever hold his peace. And he stated that firmly, she admired that part. She’ll have to talk with Tom about all of this later on, of course.

Jake stood there, shifting between his hands and her gaze, waiting for her to speak and say something. But by her expression, he could tell she was thinking positive about his statement.

“Yes.” Hazel said softly after a long pause as she nodded fondly, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Jake asked repeatedly her words, trying to understand what she meant by that.

“Mhm, ‘okay’ as in, yes, you can marry Amber.”

Jake just stared at her blankly as Hazel burst into laughter and shook her head fondly, running her fingers through her hair.

“What? You thought I was going to bite your head off?” She asked, snorting and grinning at him.

He only nodded and awkwardly shrugging before replying, “Sorta? Bradshaw practically said that you might as well, straight up kick me out.”

“Bradley is just to scare ya. If anything, the person who would try to do that is Wraith. Me on the other hand? You, Jake, have earned my respect and trust in your decision to be with Amber.”

“Thanks, Ms. Kazansky. It means a lot coming from you, really.”

She couldn’t help but smirk as she asked, “Now, did my future son in law buy my girl a ring yet?”

Jake only shook his head and chuckled, “No, no, i haven’t. Coyote is planning on helping me out with that later…”

“…but first you need my husband’s permission for her hand in marriage?”

“Yup.” Jake replied before chuckling to himself remembering how he stood earlier, “Actually I was terrified that he would be the one to open the door first and not you.”

Hazel once more chuckled and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before replying, “Hey, you have nothing to worry about, Jake.”

“Eh, did you forget that your husband has diplomatic immunity in 46 countries?”

“…right. Well, he knows you will never hurt his girl, and if you did? Kid, you might as well have asked Maverick first to save your ass. Good luck, honey.”

~~~~

~~~~~~~

Mrs. Quinn-Kazansky pointed out that her husband was in his study as usual on Wednesday afternoons.

Tom always had a rather decent routine on Wednesdays—wake up early for a walk, head over to the library with his wife, check on his friendships and return home to stay in his home office to get as much work done as possible—afterwards the rest of the day, he was in his study. Then as the night came, he’ll find himself on the couch enjoying a movie.

The older blonde was sitting at his desk, dressed in grey sweatpants, a dark green cardigan, and some sandals. Not to forget his reading glasses. His fingers were tapping against the keyboard as he wrote another email. He heard a knock on the door.

“Come in!” He called out, as his gaze fell upon the door that slowly swung open.

His expression softened slightly seeing who entered his study, however his eyebrows stayed harden as they furrowed. Hangman was in his study this afternoon. It wasn’t uncommon for the young blonde to be at his house for multiple reasons, but it was odd for him to enter his study. Rare even.

“Sir.” Jake greeted him politely with a soft smile as he walked in further, “Is this a bad time?”

Tom inhales deeply checking the time on his watch and then shifted his focus to Jake. He could always use a much needed break from his schedule. He shook his head and stood up from the chair briefly to greet him as he smiled.

“Not at all, Jake.” He replied shaking his head and gesturing for him to sit down in one of chairs provided. “How you been?”

“Good, I’ve been good, sir.” Answered the younger blonde with a light smile. “How about you?”

“Ah, you know how it is. Work, travel and going to events every so often.”

“Sounds busy.” Jake said chuckling softly.

Tom nods as he chuckled, “More or less, if not I’ll hand over my work to Slider.”

“Anything in particular that you’re looking forward to?”

“The Naval Ball.” Tom answered as a grin approached on his lips, “Are you going this year?”

Jake broke into a matching expression and chuckled before nodding, “I will. And hopefully I might get to join your family at the table soon.”

“I don’t truly follow, kid. What do you mean?”

At that, Jake realized he might’ve slipped a little too early on the reason why he’s here. He bit in his inner, shifting his gaze between the older blonde and the pictures frames on his desks, as if trying to figure out what to say next. Tom’s expression was one of confusion, intrigue and slight patience, as his eyebrows grew more firm.

Seresin will never admit but if anything, he’s a bit more anxious than he expected. Ever since he realize he was dating The Admiral ‘Iceman’ Kazansky’s daughter—His only child that he had raised since birth by himself, until Hazel came along and made their family grow into something amazing—he knew if ever broke Amber’s heart, he’d be a dead man.

As calm, sharp and collected as Tom can be on the outside, with a presence that can make anyone respect him, on the inside? There was an ice cold storm brewing, that you won’t find until you provoked it hard enough or you did something wrong to make it relevant to the game. Overall? Tom is one of the most respectable and kindhearted man in the lineup of Admirals within this side of the country.

And if asking Hazel seemed easier than expected, then Tom would be tougher to deal with. That meant he had to choose his words carefully.

~~~

After a long pause, realizing that he might’ve zoned out into his thoughts and cleared his throat, catching the other man’s attention. Jake took a breath before speaking.

“I meant, it’s actually the exact reason I came here, sir.” Jake started sitting up a bit in his chair. “As you know, I’ve been with your daughter for the past three years now…and we’ve been doing pretty well so far.”

Tom nods as he smiled, “That I do know, yes. You make my daughter very happy, Jake, and I’m glad about that fact.”

“Uh, thank you, Mr. Kazansky. I’m always happy to hear that you’re feeling good about our relationship, because I want to ask you something about that.”

“Go on. I’m sure it must be important if you came here to see me personally.”

“It is, yes..”

Jake took a breath, inhaling deeply and pushing away his nerves as it said the next line.

“I’ll like to have your permission to marry Amber, sir.” Jake said firmly, however you can hear in the unfamiliar tone in his speech. “Look. I understand I might not have been the first choice, you had when you pictured sharing your daughter with…I’m a bit impulsive, and unprofessional at times, I even been known loose my cool if I feel like I need to one up the competition…but you seen my record and reports on the field. I like to believe I’m a good pilot.”

Tom just nodded silently, his expression stern and steady as if he was reading the younger blonde.

Jake continued, “But when it comes to Amber, well…from the very first moment I saw her, I didn’t know what hit me in that bar, I just knew I needed to say something. Before I knew it, the weeks went by and I fell in love with her. And ever since, as much as I may act dumb..or silly, I do it to make sure she’s okay. She’s my angel in a way…? So anyways, I just want you to know that I promise to be a good man to her, even if you deny my request..”

Tom simply doesn’t say a single word as he nods once more. He just watches Jake.

He wasn’t blindsided by the fact that the man in front of him was a good pilot or proud fighter. He wasn’t afraid to tell his friends that Jake was a good boyfriend to Amber. He wasn’t a bit surprised by the way he respects and praised her. Tom knew his daughter was a beauty to care for and protect at the end of the day.

However, he grew increasingly worried as Amber was growing up that she will never find anyone who appreciated and gave her the same amount of patience or encouragement that he gave her. Before Hazel, he was just him and his daughter, along with their friends. In response? He grew protective and almost always steered away from anyone who tried to mess with her.

Maverick would call him overprotective but then again, his best friend and wing man, understood deeply onto the feelings he held for his child.

Tom made sure that if Amber ever had a boyfriend, they will know he meant business. Ice cold, no mistakes, just like his callsign. His daughter wasn’t something to mess around with and if someone harmed her? Well, there is a reason his best friends were ranked very well, in the positions they played.

He knew someday his little girl will be walked down the aisle to her future husband and Tom will never admitted—it’s probably a cliche at best—but no man will ever make his princess happy as much as him. No one was ever good enough for his daughter. That she’d stay young forever and never leave his arms.

Or so he thought.

And here stood Jacob ‘Hangman’ Seresin in a moment of vulnerability asking for his permission to have his own daughter, become his wife.

“Okay.” Tom started in a soft tone, “To be honest, when Amber first told me about you, I thought that she was incredibly tired and wasn’t thinking straight. Because most pilots you met at the bar aren’t always in your best interest.”

“I-sir.” Jake said opening his mouth to defend himself, but was cut off by the older men who held up his hand.

“I thought that my Amby is going to have to be extremely cautious about this. Especially when I found out your position on the Uranium Mission with Maverick and the other Daggers. And when I read your file? I realized what my wingman and I had to keep an eye out for you as time went on.”

“Sir, in my defense i was—”

“And then you saved the day in the end. Maverick sang yours and the Daggers praises…so i figured, why not give this hot shot a chance? And as you know, I wasn’t too excited about meeting, but i was earger..”

“I know..”

~~~~

Suddenly, Tom stood up pouring himself a glass of water seltzer, due to Hazel’s persistence in making sure he stayed in good health, and kindly offered him a glass. Jake gladly accepted the offer and took a sip of his drink, waiting for Tom to continue. His gaze followed the older blonde as he nodded.

“But afterwards, I realized that you had very strong potential to earn my respect.” Tom said taking a sip of her seltzer water and turning around to lean around the countertop as he smile. “Soon enough, in the past 3 years, you earned my respect, my trust and my credibility. You proved how much you value your career, your friendships and loved ones. Most importantly? You proved to me how passionate and commitment, you are to my Amber.”

Jake couldn’t help but smile graciously at his compliments. He nods politely, having never heard anything like that, from any other father he met before. It gave him a sense of pride and hope for the rest of his day.

Tom continued, “But Jake, i gotta know, if you marry her, you understand that with the career you have, there are risks? She’ll be married to that part and you will have to accept everything in between.”

Jake furrowed his eyebrows at his question, because he knew that his girlfriend was a daughter of an Admiral, so she understood things. But he also marriage to Amber meant that it’s different in a sense, because she would be more likely involved in things. Moving into a larger house, deployments will hurt a bit more, planning or going to events, kids might be involved someday and so much more.

But he thought, hey if I managed to do this relationship with Amber so far, what’s the long haul for anyway? It’s a ride that he’s willing to take!

His gaze shifted to Iceman with a confident expression as he nods, “I understand that, sir. And I intend to make sure I can go back home at the end of the day to be with her…”

Tom smiled, staring off into the distance as he responded, “You know? When I first married Hazel, I wasn’t so sure of everything that will happen to us but I had confidence that we will figure it out. The best part was—is coming home to her in the end, knowing that we were okay.”

“That sounds lovely. I hope I can feel the same way someday.”

“Oh, you will.”

Jake furrow his eyebrows in confusion as Tom opened up one of a drawers, and removed a small piece of jewelry from it. In a swift gesture, he took the younger blonde’s hand and carefully placed in his palm, as Jake looked at him with a wide smile.

“You have my full respect and permission to marry her.” Tom said grinning softly, his voice filled with high regard. “Make me proud, son.”

“I will.” Jake replied returning the soft grin.

~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~

~~~

AHHH I WROTE THIS WITHOUT A DAY, SO I HOPE YALL LIKE IT!! 🙈✨I didn’t proofread this but I had a fun time making it.

Pls let me know what you think 💭 remember to like, comment and share

Tags: @rose-of-oz @gaminggirlsstuff @gcthvile @aidanxsophxoxo @missstrawbs2001 @halesfavoriteharlot @topgun-imagines @mandylove1000 @starkleila @buckysteveloki-me @hangmanbrainrot @teacupsandtopgun @djs8891 @rickb-chaos @infinetlyforgotten @meiramel @sherloquestea @yetanotherwells @ximehs @rowinablx @daggerspared @superspookyjanelle @starryinspace @triptuckers @hardballoonlove @savemewattpad @alldaysdreamers @fallout-girl219 @ohgodnotagainn etc

[abbyslovergirlxo]

-Bad Idea-

ELLIE WILLIAMS x FEM!READER

What happens when your drunk ex sends you flowers? Who knows. But regardless, anyone would agree it’s a pretty bad idea.

tw; moping, terrible drunk decisions, slight smut (if you squint), cursing

—————————————————————————

“shit shit shit— oh my fucking— shit!”

Ellie had tried to wipe her eyes in a desperate repetition. But when her bank statements kept reading;

TRANSACTIONS

3/7/2023 Saturday: — 62.75 FROM; Flowers and Friends

It was hard to not accept the facts. Ellie could typically hold her liquor, but as of late she wasn’t herself. You and Ellie had been broken up for two months and she had deluded herself into thinking it left her mind. But whenever a touch of liquor or weed hit her system, suddenly she was missing you so bad that she couldn’t help herself from getting out of hand. Case in point being, her spending over 60 dollars while trashed to send to your doorstep.

She called the company a multitude off times, always receiving the same frustrating answer.

“Sorry ma’am, cancellations are not prohibited after the 12 hour order mark.”

Ellie cursed herself for over sleeping with a pounding hangover. Maybe if she woke up a couple hours earlier she could’ve saved herself eternal embarrassment. At least that was until she remembered that the only way you’d know if it was her if there was a note. She was cross faded out of her mind, no way she wrote anything that wasn’t gibberish, if she wrote anything at all.

“Wait! Was there a note attached or anything?”

“One second ma’am— let me just look right here… right, okay. Yes there’s a note attached.”

Ellie cursed silently into the air. She took a deep breath and looked up to the sky in a phantom type of prayer.

“Could you tell me what it says?”

“Absolutely. It says ‘Miss you so much baby. I can’t stop thinking about you and your nose. Your nose is so fucking pretty. And your hair. And just you. You’re so pretty. Please talk to me. Please please just talk to me. These flowers reminded me of you. They’re so pretty. I miss being inside of you. I miss us so mu—‘. Um…yeah. That’s pretty much it. It seems like you ran out of room to type.”

She was going to die. She was truly going to die. Ellie was grateful with how calm the customer service worker was. This probably was no doubt her most indecent moment and she couldn’t handle it if the lady on the phone was laughing at her.

Ellie gripped her phone till her knuckles turned a hued white, she was so fucking angry at herself. She was the one who broke up with you and her she was, going crazy.

“Do you have an estimation of when the flowers will arrive?”

“…Says around 2 pm.”

She didn’t even bother with a thank you as she ended the phone call. It was 1:45. You lived 20 minutes away. It would be close but it’d be better than doing nothing.

She swiped her eyes off her nightstand and was in her car before she could even blink.

After an almost car accident, two people flipping her off, and cutting people off, Ellie had finally made it to your apartment. She stomped her way up the steps that led to the second floor. Her lungs were practically screaming at her but she was so close.

2:03 pm.

Her breath got caught as she saw that familiar door mat. She had wiped her black converses on it a million times, a sort of tradition wether or not her shoes needed it. Made her feel like she was at home, her way of marking her territory. That bright yellow doormat with the corny quote that Ellie had clowned you for too many times.

“ Bee My Guest! 🐝 “

She had gotten so lost at just the sight of your front door that she hadn’t noticed the bouquet of flowers next to it. Quite a large one as well. If she hadn’t been a nervous wreck, she would’ve admired her taste. The flowers were gorgeous and she wanted nothing more than to give them to you. But she knew it wouldn’t be right and it’d be wrong. It had been months, why do something like this now?

With a sudden slowness she walked over to your front door, picking up the flowers and frowning. She had wished this were under different circumstances. That this was her on a random weekday, turning up to see you. Surprising you with flowers and soft kiss.

But that wasn’t the case. And she had gotten carried away at the idea of you. With a shake of her head, she checked the time.

2:14

Eleven minutes of admiring you literal door. Yeah, it was time to go.

“Ellie?”

Her head whipped up that sound. That sound she had been yearning to hear for literal months. She had spent many night looking over videos of you, hearing the way you spoke. It never beat the real thing, clearly.

She didn’t move, just staring at you with your pink tote bag and white sundress. She didn’t miss the way your bra was doing wonders for your chest. Fuck, was she looking?

“Um…”

You raised your brow, observing the sight infront of you. Your ex-girlfriend with a black graphic tee, green boy shorts and her favorite converses. Her hair had gotten longer but nonetheless still pulled into that familiar bun. She looked…good. You could tell she was hungover, you had been with her for too long to not know. But still she looked good, she always did.

But seeing your ex at your front door wasn’t the strangest thing, it was her holding a bouquet of flowers. This wasn’t what you expected to come home to after buying a book from your local Barnes and Nobles.

You should be pissed, sad or annoyed. But you were none of those. You wanted to be. But you had missed her. All you could feel was that familiar need for her and a touch of confusion.

“Did someone die?”

“Yes.”

Not her best lie, and after seeing your look of concern she couldn’t handle it.

“Sorry, no. Nobody died. I just— I didn’t mean to come here.”

“Oh…okay. Be safe on the way back?”

You shuffled towards your front door, brushing past her. This was so awkward and you felt ridiculous for actually thinking she came here for you. It was obvious she did, who shows up at their exes apartment complex with flowers? But clearly she didn’t want you enough to admit it. And that hurt more than you wanted it to.

With a silent curse you finally managed to get your key out of your bag. You appreciated it for all the space but it felt like you were digging through a damn vast hole whenever you needed something.

Before you could even open your door, you felt a hand on your shoulder making you look back.

“I missed you. Well I mean that I— I miss you. Now. I’ve missed you for a while. I hope that’s okay. I wish…we were okay.”

She was nervous. You tell by the way she bit down on her lip and her thumb fiddled with her ring. You were too. And you looked down at her hand, feeling sheepish about how warm it was on your skin.

It took no time for her to notice before she yanked it back. You frowned a little.

“Ellie why’d you come here? And with… flowers?”

She sighed a little, contemplating wether or not to save her dignity and leave. Pretend she never proclaimed her persistence of missing you and block you, or she could just be a human and talk to you. She had showed up like this unannounced and the least you deserved was an explanation. She didn’t want you to always wonder what could’ve happened.

“Can I come in?”

……………………….……………………….………………

“Didn’t we talk about getting cross faded? Mixing drugs and alcohol is not good for you Ellie.”

“That’s what you got from all of that…”

“Well that, and the fact you only miss me when you’re not sober.”

“That’s not— I always miss you. I just don’t know how to control it when I’m not sober. Exactly why I ordered these flowers last night.”

You grinned a little, finding it all a little funny. When she first came into your apartment that reeked of brown sugar and vanilla, it was as awkward as one would expect.

But you and her had been together for 3 years before you broke up. As her story strung out and you gave a her a cup of peppermint tea, the tension slowly evaporated.

“Right…and you did all of this just to still get caught with the flowers. Honestly Els, it would’ve been less embarrassing if I had just seen them on my doorstep.”

Ellie shifted on your white couch at the sound of the nickname. She hadn’t heard it in forever and it made her want you even more. She wasn’t even sure where this conversation was headed but she knew she didn’t want it to end.

“The note though. Would’ve given me away in a heartbeat, and I’d probably never show my face again.”

She let out a laugh at the thought. You furrowed your brows and put down your minions mug to stare at her.

“What note?”

You caught she sudden panic in her face. Ellie had purposefully left out the embarrassing note she had left on the flowers and didn’t plan on saying anything about them. The flowers now sat on your glass coffee table right next to the pink coasters.

“Note? Shit I’m probably just mixing things up. This teas like really good, you got anymore?”

You looked at Ellies nervous smile and then at the flowers. She looked at you and then back the flowers. Then you both locked eyes again. Her eyes squinted into a silent plea of ‘don’t do it.’

As if she knew you’d still do it she reached towards the flowers at the same time you did but to her horror you plucked the note card before she could stop you. You ran towards your kitchen, getting behind the island while scrambling to rip the paper out of the envelope.

Ellie didn’t hesitate to run offer you but she couldn’t quite get you with you way you kept leaping around the kitchen island just far away enough so she could grab you.

“Okay okay y/n. Let’s just talk about this? The note is just gibberish. I was drunk out of my mind and it’s just random stuff jumbled on there. It’s just so stupid. Please just—“

She reached her arm out to grab you which you dodged and moved in the opposite direction against the marble island corner.

“Give it to me. Please.”

“You’re rambling, you’re nervous.”

“Okay Sherlock, just hand me the note.”

With a quick, “nope” , you looked at the flower embroidered card and began to read out-loud.

“Miss you so much baby. I can’t stop thinking about you and your nose— really Ellie? My nose?”

She groaned as you managed to dodge her again.

“To be fair, it’s a very nice nose.”

“Uh huh… ‘And your hair. And just you. You’re so pretty. Please talk to me. Please please just talk to me. These flowers reminded me—“

“Wait! If you put the card down I’ll give you a weeks worth of weed. You know I have the best dealer and I promise you if you just give me the card I’ll swing by later and give you some. Please y/n I am literally begg—“

“Hush. I already buy from your dealer, I stole their number from your phone after that one time you smoked me out in Jersey.”

“Wait what the fuck?”

“These flowers reminded me of you. They’re so pretty. I miss being inside of you. I miss us so much?”

Ellie’s head was thrown down in a storm of shame. This was much more embarrassing than hearing the lady on the phone say it. Not to mention the way you impersonated Ellie’s voice while you said it. She was feeling like a little bitch and she even felt slightly betrayed. When the fuck was Mick going to tell her that he was selling you weed? She made a mental note to murder him and another mental note to never see you again.

“Fuck this is so embarrassing.”

After your laughter died down, you looked over the words again. Letting it all sink in. It was funny, you couldn’t lie about that.

But it was also a bit sad. You missed moments like these, with you and Ellie joking around. You missed her making you laugh and grabbing your waist from behind while you cooking in that very kitchen. The way she used to beg you to make that peppermint tea whenever she got off of work.

And she did say she had missed you, but was that enough? What even was this? Were you guys going to become friends? Get some closure and never see each other again? Or was there something more? Was it going to be Ellie and Y/n again? Or was it just you hoping that it’d be more?

The questions racked your brain. And your mood dropped quicker than you’d liked. Ellie now looked up at you after noticing your laughter swelter.

“Shit babe are y—fuck sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, it’s just…I don’t know.”

“Ellie…what do you want out of this?”

“I—“

“You broke up with me. I thought that you didn’t want me anymore. Do you even want me anymore?”

“I want you so much I can’t even fathom it.”

“What do you want out of this?” You repeated your question.

“I don’t know… what do you want?”

“No, don’t do that. Don’t leave it up to me Ellie. That’s not fair.”

She shook her head as she moved near you, this time you didn’t move back. Allowing her to pull at your dress.

“I’m not trying to be unfair y/n. I just don’t want to say the wrong thing. I want whatever you want.”

“You broke up with me…”

“I know…I’m so sorry.”

You pushed her hand away from your dress gently. She was too close and it was making your mind jumbled.

“Look Ellie. I’ve missed you to. Too much. And I don’t want you to say something and not mean it. I don’t want you to feel cornered into caring about me.”

“I could never stop caring about you. I never stopped y/n.”

You stayed silent, getting suddenly scared at how real this all was. No matter which way this went it would be a drastic change. If she left and never saw you again you’d have to deal with a second heartbreak. If she wanted to be friends you knew you’d say yes and have to see her too much for your own comfort.

And if she wanted to get back together…well that was a monster all on its own.

“What do you want out of this Ellie?”

From your tone of voice, and it being the third time you said it, Ellie knew she had to give a definitive answer now. You deserved that. She didn’t deserve you, but she wanted to.

“I want you. I want us. I’ll be so good to you, I promise.”

You looked at her with pouty face. This was all you wanted to hear for the past couple of months and you finally got it. You didn’t want to get hurt again.

She met your eyes and tried to communicate with just those.

You remained silent. To which, she gripped the waist area of your dress fabric to bring you closer. She wrapped her arms around you and pulled you into a hug making you sigh into her neck.

She rubbed palmed circles onto your back.

“You want us back together?”

You nodded into her cologned skin.

“Yeah?”

You whispered out a soft, “Yes Els. I want us.”

She grinned into your hair, this was the first time one of her bad ideas turned into something good. But as she smelled that familiar coconut shampoo in your hair, she knew it wasn’t a good idea. It was fucking amazing idea.

She kissed your forehead.

“I really meant it when I wrote that I miss being inside of you.”

You whined a little, “Show me, Els.”

[maybeiwasjustjade]

This is the last time I’m gonna talk about this topic, mostly because it’s hiatus era and I would like to be able to write fics without outrightly bashing s2 Alicent, but I do think it needs to be said.

There’s nothing defendable in what Alicent did when she gave up her entire family on a silver platter for Rhaenyra.

So many takes about how we—the ones who found that scene abominable and abhorrent—misread the scene, or purposefully misinterpreted just to hate her; that what Alicent did was a good thing because it would have spared her entire family if only she let Aegon die. Giving up Criston and Gwayne’s location to be slaughtered (in what is most likely going to be Butcher’s Ball) wasn’t the intention; Alicent would never do that to her family and this was the only way to ensure survival en yada yada yada.

Yet the only person she said anything about saving was Helaena and Jaehaera, the latter of which is still continued to be dehumanized by no one referring to her as anything but ‘child’. Alicent put no thought towards Daeron—her innocent 16 year old son, who has done nothing—who was now joining a war that she started by declaring his brother king. Daeron, who’s flying alongside the Hightower army, in a war that will not end just because the Dowager Queen decided enough was enough. Who might die, and actually will die, before he ever sees his family again.

And even if she believes Rhaenyra executing Aegon would end the war (which it won’t), what made s2 Alicent think that the deaths would stop there?

A son for a son? Rhaenyra didn’t even remember that Jaehaerys had already been murdered for Luke. What made Alicent think that Rhaenyra would spare fucking Aemond of all people??? Aemond, who killed Luke and Rhaenys, who’s now Prince Regent because Aegon’s heir is dead? Who rides Vhagar, and would rather burn the world down than cleave to Rhaenyra? Who’s committed the majority of the crimes that make up Team Green? No, Aemond will have to die.

Daeron will have to die.

Jaehaerys, had he lived, would have to die anyway.

Maelor if he existed too.

Otto, Criston, Gwayne—all dead by virtue of being active participants and commanders in TG.

The only way Rhaenyra can claim that throne and ensure she can hold it is by eliminating the rival claimants, down to the youngest son.

That was something s1 Alicent knew, had raised her son on the belief they would die if their sister ascended, before the writers butchered her to a million pieces and left a caricature in her place. The claims go down son to son before it reaches daughters, which meant killing Aegon wouldn’t stop Rhaenyra’s troubles. She’d have to go after his sons and brothers too before the throne is legally hers.

There is no version of this story, where war has already started and a king crowned, that would end with little bloodshed beyond the death of said king.

In a different world, an argument could be made to spare some of them. If Rhaenyra had ascended untouched, then perhaps deals could’ve been made. Aegon would still have to die, I’d imagine. Take the Black at minimum, with Jaehaerys following in his footsteps as an adult or perhaps the Citadel. As long as Aegon’s line persisted, there would always be a chance of rebellion happening once Jace becomes king. So that whole line would have to be removed.

Aemond and Daeron would be less dangerous, but there would be little chance they’d be spared. The Black for Aemond, because I can’t see him agreeing to be a Kingsguard. Daeron would go to the Citadel without question. Jaehaera would either be married into the main line via Aegon III like in canon, or Rhaenyra would arrange for her to marry Jace to solidify his claim. He’d have a better claim through Jaehaera than Baela, after all.

And even then, that was still best case scenario. Worst case they’re all executed to protect Jace. Because Rhaenyra’s reign might somehow be mediocre and peaceful (really she has no makings of a great queen), but Jace’s will be a landmine. Between two legitimate brothers and no sisters to marry them to and trueborn cousins and uncles, Jace’s ascension was going to be a massive clusterfuck that would make the Dance look like a play.

[itsgiovanna]

playing for love (chapter 4)

pairing: fem!character x mason mount

summary: injured and lost, mason mount begins his recovery with the help of adeline alderidge, a tough yet brilliant physiotherapist with secrets of her own. he becomes determined to break through the walls adeline has built around herself. but some wounds don’t heal easily, and the closer they get, the more mason realizes she might need saving just as much as he does.

notes: hellooo!!! here's another one, hope you love it. it's a heart-to-heart one, a lot of twists hehe, enjoy :)

word count: 4.0k

warnings: cursing and that's it.

next: chapter 5

Adeline had been to some impressive houses before — not because she ran in the same circles as footballers, but because some of her patients came from money. Old money, new money, football money— it didn’t really matter. What mattered was whether they had the discipline to do what she told them.

But Mason Mount’s house? That was something else.

The Uber slowed to a stop in Hale Barns, one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Manchester. The place was quiet, clean, almost too perfect — wide roads lined with towering trees, iron gates guarding multi-million-pound homes that looked like they belonged in movies.

Mason’s house was no exception. Sleek and modern, all dark paneling and floor-to-ceiling windows, with a long driveway leading up to a Range Rover parked outside. Because, of course he had a Range Rover.

She exhaled, rolling her shoulders as she climbed out of the car, adjusting the strap of her bag.

Right. Let’s get this over with.

After buzzing the intercom, she waited, shifting her weight between her feet. A few moments later, she heard slow, deliberate steps from inside, followed by the sound of crutches against the floor. When the door finally opened, Mason looked exactly like she expected him to.

Grey hoodie, loose black shorts, socks pulled up to his calves. His brown hair was messy, like he had either just woken up or couldn’t be bothered to fix it. He had that same frustrated, slightly exhausted expression he always did, as if the whole world was just another thing he had to put up with.

She wasn’t sure what she expected from him outside the hospital, but there was something about seeing him in his own home, looking somewhat comfortable and — dare she say it — almost soft, that threw her off for a second.

Not that she had time to care about it.

“You could’ve warned me you were coming.” Mason muttered, shifting his weight on his crutches.

Adeline quirked a brow. “You could’ve read your schedule.”

It was the first time they were doing a physiotherapy session at his home, and she was fairly certain Mason hadn’t bothered to check her message.

He exhaled through his nose, clearly unimpressed, and stepped aside. She brushed past him, catching a smell of something — clean, masculine, expensive.

Not that she cared, though.

She took in the space — high ceilings, open-plan, sleek but not soulless furniture. It wasn’t one of those sterile footballer houses that looked like no one actually lived in them. There were small signs of life — a hoodie draped over a chair, a pair of trainers kicked off by the door.

“Not bad.” she murmured, nodding to herself.

“Glad you approve.” Mason scoffed.

She ignored him, already making her way toward the open space near the windows where she could set up. The room was huge, with polished wooden floors and enough space for a proper workout. And, of course, down the hall was a fully equipped home gym.

She pulled out her equipment — resistance bands, a balance board, a foam roller — feeling his gaze on her. When she glanced up, he was still standing by the door, watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite place.

“What?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“Nothing.” Mason blinked, his jaw tightening slightly before he looked away.

She raised a brow but didn’t push. He was acting strange for a second — but maybe she was just imagining it.

“Are you just gonna stand there, or are we actually doing this?” she asked, smirking slightly.

(...)

Mason had already been in a bad mood before he saw the video.

But after watching Rúben Dias talk about him like he was weak — like he had no one to blame but himself for his injury — it sent him into a quiet, seething rage.

"I play hard, but I play fair. Maybe he should’ve been more careful."

"These things happen. It’s not my fault if some players aren’t strong enough to handle it."

The words rang in his head over and over, like a hammer to his skull. He clenched his jaw, gripping his phone so tightly his fingers ached before finally tossing it onto the couch.

He felt stuck. Stuck in this house, stuck in this body that wasn’t cooperating, stuck watching his teammates play while he was here, doing pointless exercises that never felt like enough. And now he had to sit and listen to people talk about him like he was some kind of fragile, washed-up who should’ve done better.

His knee ached as he shifted, the reminder of his limitations only making him more bitter.

That was when he heard footsteps.

Adeline stepped back into the room, tucking her phone away. She looked more serious than before, but whatever had been on her mind disappeared the second she caught sight of him.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing.” Mason exhaled sharply through his nose.

Adeline gave him a pointed look, clearly unimpressed. “Right. Because you always look like you’re about to break something.”

Mason scoffed, rubbing his hands over his face. He wasn’t in the mood for this. For her.

When she moved toward the equipment, prepping for the next round of exercises, something in him just snapped.

“What’s the point?” His tone was sharp, cutting.

“The point is getting you back on the pitch.” She paused, glancing up.

“Right. Because you get what that’s like.” Mason let out a bitter laugh.

“I don’t have to be a footballer to know how to help you, Mason.” Adeline straightened, arms crossing.

“Oh, please.” he scoffed, shaking his head. “You act like you have all the answers, but you don’t know me. You don’t know what this is like.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but Mason wasn’t done. The anger was running his mouth before his brain could stop it.

“You don’t know what it’s like to lose everything. To have the thing you’ve built your whole life around ripped away. To feel like no matter what you do, it’s never going to be enough — like you’re never going to be enough.” His voice was raw, almost venomous. “You don’t know what that’s like, do you?”

The words hung in the air, sharp as a blade.

And then Mason saw it.

That tiny flicker of something in her expression, so quick that most people wouldn’t have caught it.

But he did.

She didn’t just look angry.

She looked hurt.

It lasted for only a second before she masked it, her face going cold, distant.

And then, she surprised him.

“You think you’re the only one who knows what loss feels like?” Her voice, when it came, was quiet but firm.

Mason swallowed, his anger still hot in his veins, but something about the way she was looking at him made his chest feel tight.

She took a step closer. “I know exactly what it’s like to have your world ripped apart. To be told you’ll never be enough. To have people who were supposed to stand by you turn their backs instead.”

Her words landed like punches. And Mason, for the first time in weeks, didn’t know what to say.

Adeline exhaled sharply, running a hand through her hair. She checked her phone, jaw tight.

“You know what? If you don’t want to do this, fine. But I have other patients who actually want to get better.”

She turned before he could react. “I’ll see you next session.”

And just like that, she was gone.

Mason sat there, staring after her, feeling like the biggest idiot alive.

(...)

Adeline slammed the front door shut with more force than needed. The sound echoed in the small flat, but she barely noticed. Her body was tense, her mind still replaying the scene from earlier — Mason’s sharp words, the way he looked at her like she was just another obstacle in his way.

She dropped her bag by the door, exhaling through her nose as she shrugged off her jacket. It wasn’t just anger simmering under her skin. It was disappointment. She had tried. She had pushed past his moods, his stubbornness, his refusal to accept help. And what did she get for it?

Nothing.

Not a single ounce of gratitude. Just frustration and bitterness thrown in her face.

The flat was quiet except for the sound of the TV from the living room. Stella was curled up on the couch, a bowl of popcorn resting on her lap. The moment she saw Adeline, her brows furrowed.

“That bad?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

Adeline scoffed, kicking off her shoes. “He’s impossible.”

Stella reached for the remote, turning the volume down. “Let me guess — grumpy, snappy, and absolutely convinced he doesn’t need your help?”

Adeline let out a humorless laugh, running a hand through her hair as she walked to the kitchen.

“That’s the understatement of the year.”

She grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water. “He doesn’t just shut people out, Ella. He pushes them away like it’s his life’s mission.”

“Sounds like someone else I know.” Stella sighed, setting her bowl aside.

“Don’t.” Adeline gave her a look.

“I’m just saying.” Stella stood, following her into the kitchen. “You two are more alike than you think.”

Adeline rolled her eyes. “I don’t go around snapping at people who are literally trying to help me.”

“No.” Stella admitted, leaning against the counter. “But you do push people away when you don’t want to let them in.”

Adeline clenched her jaw. She hated when Stella did that — when she saw through her, peeling back the layers Adeline didn’t even want to acknowledge.

Stella studied her for a moment. “He got to you, didn’t he?”

“He doesn’t know a damn thing about me.” Adeline scoffed, gripping the edge of the counter.

That was what stung the most. Mason had thrown those words at her like daggers, completely unaware that he had hit every single one of her old wounds.

"You don’t know what it’s like to feel like you’ll never be enough."

Adeline swallowed, blinking hard. She hated that it had affected her. She hated that for a split second, she had let it affect her.

“Maybe he’s not as much of an asshole as you think.” Stella’s voice softened.

“Did you not just hear everything I said?” Adeline gave her a flat look.

Stella smirked slightly. “I did. But I also know you, Ady. And if you really thought he wasn’t worth the effort, you wouldn’t be this upset.”

Adeline exhaled, tilting her head back against the cabinet. “He’s just... exhausting. He makes everything harder than it has to be.”

“Or maybe he’s scared. Maybe pushing people away is all he knows how to do.” Stella hummed.

“I don’t have the time to play therapist for a man who refuses to help himself.” She scoffed.

Stella watched her, something knowing in her expression. “You’re already helping him, though.”

Adeline said nothing.

Because, as much as she hated to admit it, Stella wasn’t wrong.

(...)

Saturday mornings were sacred.

No alarms, no rushed commutes, no work looming over her head — just an entire day with Lilith. A rare moment of peace in between the chaos of her job, one she wasn’t going to let anything ruin. Not even the frustration from the night before.

Adeline rolled to her side, eyes fluttering open as the early morning light filtered through her curtains. For a brief, blissful second, she allowed herself to sink into the quiet, the soft sound of birds outside and the gentle breathing of her daughter curled up beside her.

Lilith had crawled into bed with her at some point during the night, her tiny frame pressed against Adeline’s back. It was a habit she was trying to break — but truthfully, she didn’t mind it as much as she pretended to.

Carefully, she turned to face her, brushing a stray curl from her forehead. “Lils.” she murmured. “Time to wake up.”

Lilith groaned dramatically, burying her face into the pillow. “No."

Adeline chuckled. “You sound like me after a night shift.”

When she received no response, she resorted to a last-ditch effort — tickling her daughter’s side. Lilith let out a shriek, giggling as she wriggled away.

“Mummy, no fair!”

“All’s fair in love and waking up.” Adeline teased, pulling the covers back. “C’mon, I was thinking we could go out for breakfast.”

“Where?” Lilith perked up immediately, sitting up in bed.

Adeline stretched, stifling a yawn. “How about... Ezra & Gil?”

“The one with the big hot chocolates?” Lilith gasped, clapping her hands.

“That’s the one.” She smiled.

It was one of their favorite spots, a cozy little coffee shop in the Northern Quarter. A perfect place to unwind — and hopefully, to push last night’s incident out of her mind.

Lilith practically leaped out of bed after that, and soon enough, they were dressed and ready to go. Adeline opted for a simple but put-together look — black jeans, an oversized cream knit sweater, and her trusty Chelsea boots. Lilith, of course, had insisted on her favorite pink jumper, a tulle skirt, and sparkly trainers that lit up when she walked.

After bundling up in coats and scarves against the cold weather, they stepped out, hand in hand, heading towards a morning that Adeline desperately needed to be easy.

Ezra & Gil was comfortably busy when they arrived, the scent of fresh coffee and warm pastries wrapping around them like a hug.

Lilith practically bounced on her feet as she peeked into the glass display. “Mummy, look! They have the croissants!”

Adeline smiled, smoothing down her daughter’s curls. “Chocolate or almond?”

“Chocolate. And hot chocolate. Please?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Alright, alright.”

After placing their order, they found a small table near the window, away from the bustling crowd. Adeline let out a slow breath, forcing herself to relax.

Today was a good day.

Then she saw him.

Mason.

Sitting at a table near the other end of the café.

Her stomach dropped.

His hood was up, crutches resting against the chair beside him, hands curled around a coffee cup. He wasn’t alone — his sister — that Adeline saw a few times at the hospital — sat across from him, there was a little girl next to her, and she looked far too familiar.

No. No, no, no.

Before Adeline could react, Lilith’s entire face lit up.

“Mummy! It’s Summer!”

Her heart lurched.

Of all places.

Of all people.

She had not planned for this.

But Summer had already spotted them, and in the blink of an eye, everything unraveled.

(...)

Mason took another sip of his coffee, the warmth of it doing little to ease the tension coiling in his chest. He’d spent all of last night thinking about Adeline — about what happened between them, how he’d let his frustration get the best of him. He wasn’t proud of it. He knew it was wrong, but part of him couldn’t help it. He was so used to pushing people away, to keeping his walls high and impenetrable.

Yet, for some reason, Adeline had managed to sneak past those walls, and he hated it. She was good at what she did, too good at getting under his skin. And now, all he had was the guilt gnawing at him for snapping at her.

“Uncle Mason, when are you gonna show me how to kick the ball like you do?” Summer’s voice brought him back to the present.

Mason looked down at his niece, her face lit up with excitement. He smiled back, the knot in his stomach loosening slightly. Summer had always been the light in his life, her enthusiasm contagious.

“You’ll be the next footballer in the family. Don’t worry.” Mason replied with a chuckle, ruffling her hair.

Her laugh was a small, bright moment in the middle of his internal chaos, but even that couldn’t completely distract him from the situation with Adeline. The thought of her, the way she had walked out the day before, had been hanging over him since.

“Do you want to play football with me after this?” he asked Summer, trying to focus on her, on the joy she brought him.

“Yeah!” Summer’s eyes lit up. “I’ll kick it so far you won’t be able to catch it!” Mason grinned at her confidence, but his mind couldn’t help but wander back to Adeline.

Before he could get too lost in thought, a little voice interrupted his focus.

“Summer!”

Mason’s eyes darted up just in time to see his niece's attention snap toward the door. He followed her gaze, and there — standing just inside the coffee shop, holding a little girl’s hand — was Adeline.

His heart skipped a beat, though he quickly masked it with a neutral expression. He knew it was too much to hope that he wouldn’t run into her, not in a place this small. But what took him by surprise was the small girl beside her — the one who looked just like her.

“Is that...?” Jaz trailed off, eyes widening as she spotted the pair.

Mason nodded, but he wasn’t sure what to say next. Why was Adeline here? His stomach flipped at the thought of having to face her again.

Jaz’s eyes softened, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she stood up. “I think I’ve seen that little girl before… from day care, right? She’s in the same class as Summer.”

Mason’s thoughts faltered. Day care? He watched as Jaz walked over to Adeline, a warm, friendly greeting passing between them.

Adeline, who was clearly trying to keep her composure, smiled tightly at Jaz before her eyes flicked over to Mason. He saw the brief tension in her shoulders, the way her expression shifted for just a second — like she wasn’t sure how to handle this.

She kept her composure, nodding politely as Jaz continued chatting about work, making small talk to fill the silence. But Adeline could tell Jaz was giving her a knowing look, her eyes flicking from Adeline to Mason and back again. She didn't want to engage too much in a conversation about last night — not here, not now — but there was something in Jaz's tone that suggested she was trying to keep things light, to ease any tension.

The two girls were quietly chatting and playing, their heads bent over a board game that seemed to be taking all of their concentration. It was a rare moment when Lilith wasn’t bouncing off the walls, and Adeline couldn’t help but feel proud of her, even if just for a little while.

As the soft hum of the coffee shop buzzed around them, Adeline couldn’t help but feel the weight of Mason’s gaze on her, even though she tried her best to ignore it.

The way his eyes were fixed on her — there was something there.

Something more than just guilt.

She shifted uncomfortably, trying to focus on Jaz’s lighthearted stories about the kids, but her mind was stuck. She could still feel the sharpness of Mason's words from last night, the sting of them reverberating in her chest. It was hard to shake off.

“Adeline?” Jaz’s voice cut through her thoughts, her smile playful as she leaned over. “Is everything alright? You seem a little… preoccupied.”

Adeline blinked and then gave a small smile, masking the frustration she felt. “I’m fine. Just... thinking,” she muttered, glancing over at the girls.

Jaz raised an eyebrow, but says nothing, instead she gets up and walk toward the girls, who were in the midst of some kind of argument over the rules of their game.

Mason's mind was still on the conversation from last night — the way he’d snapped at Adeline. The way she had tried so hard to help, and he’d pushed her away.

That nagging feeling of guilt hadn’t left him since.

Something in him snapped as he watched Adeline's figure out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't sit here anymore, couldn't just stew in his self-loathing. With a deep breath, he stood up, moving toward her with more determination than he’d expected to feel. His stomach with a tight knot of nerves, but he had to say something. He owed her that much, even if it was awkward. Even if she didn’t want to hear it.

Adeline was just about to take a sip of her coffee when she saw him approach. Her expression faltered for a brief moment before she quickly masked it, but Mason could tell.

The tension was palpable.

She didn’t want this. She didn’t want him anywhere near her.

Mason stopped a few steps away from her, his mind scrambling for something to say that didn’t sound like an apology he didn’t know how to give.

His words fumbled in his head as he cleared his throat.

“I—I just wanted to…” he trailed off, feeling the weight of his own hesitation.

Adeline lifted an eyebrow, not meeting his eyes, but she waited for him to finish.

“Look. You don’t have to say anything.” she muttered, her voice low, careful, and yet, there was a hint of something raw underneath the calm exterior. “I know you’re angry at me, Mason. But I don’t have the energy to talk about it again.”

Her words hit him like a slap, and Mason felt a strange mix of frustration and guilt flood through him. She was right. He had no right to ask her to talk about it again — not after the way he’d treated her.

“I’m not… I’m not angry.” he said quickly, perhaps too quickly. His voice came out a little rougher than he intended. “I wasn’t angry last night, either. It was just—” He stopped, the words failing him again.

Adeline tilted her head slightly, meeting his eyes for the first time since he’d come over. Her expression softened, but only just.

“It’s fine, Mason. I get it.” she said, her voice distant, almost too composed for someone who was obviously holding something back. “I don’t know what happened last night, but we’re here now.”

Mason didn’t know what else to say. The air between them was thick with tension, but also something more — something unsaid. He could see the sadness in her eyes, and it made him feel like the world had shifted under him.

Suddenly, the sound of laughter broke the silence between them. Jaz had returned, laughing lightly as she scooped up Lilith and Summer, both of them grinning like troublemakers who had just gotten away with something.

They were all laughing together, a kind of warmth that made Adeline smile despite herself.

Mason watched her smile, and a sense of need, of wanting to make things right, surged through him. He didn’t know why it was so hard to talk to her, to just say what needed to be said.

“I don’t want to intrude.” Mason said, his voice softening now that the laughter filled the space around them. “But... she’s your daughter, right?” He gestured toward Lilith, who had just sat down with Summer at a nearby table.

Adeline’s eyes flicked to Lilith, and she stiffened slightly. “She is, yes.” she said, her tone guarded. “But I’m not really sure I’m ready to talk about that with you.” She glanced at him, her gaze almost apologetic.

Mason could feel the weight of her words, and it made something in him tighten, a strange mix of regret and hope in his chest. He nodded slowly, silently cursing himself for making her uncomfortable.

“I understand.” he muttered.

There was a long pause before Jaz returned, a mischievous smile on her face as she carried both girls in tow. “Alright, alright, what’s going on here?” she asked, glancing between Adeline and Mason. “Having a heart-to-heart without me?”

Adeline gave a forced smile. “Just catching up, Jaz.”

Mason let out a quiet laugh, but his thoughts were still consumed with the way Adeline had looked at him, the way she seemed to hold so much back.

He was going to have to work for it.

If she ever lets him in again.

(...)

[spnx67]

𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕 - 𝒔 + 𝒅. 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓

❥ 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 - set in s4 after Dean finds out about the demon blood Sam’s been drinking, you’re riddled with guilt because you knew you could’ve stopped it.

❥ sam and dean winchester x reader, fem!reader, sfw

❥ features: bloodjunkie!sam, posthell!dean, yearning lustfully, upset, slight violence, sam in the panic room.

❥ word count: 1,546

❥ a/n: this may be a little confusing to read so i’ll explain. reader is telling Dean about something that happened with Sam whilst he was in hell, it starts off with Dean and reader speaking and then goes on to reader explaining what happened and then back to Dean! I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE LOL

❥ masterlink

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

Dean had been trying to get whatever the hell it is you felt so guilty about out of you, but you just wouldn’t budge. You, Dean and Bobby were all at Bobby’s house- Sam downstairs screaming in the panic room he’d been locked in. Bobby had finally gotten you to sit down and tell them what happened that’s made you feel so much gut wrenching guilt.

Dean said your name softly, but the frustration was ghosting around him. “Please. Just tell us…”

You hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath, beginning to recall the memory from a few months ago…

You walk into the dingy motel room that- no matter how many times it’d been cleaned- always seemed to smell damp. You were a dear friend of the Winchesters and had been for a while, so when Dean was sent to hell after his demon deal to save Sam’s life. You figured Sam needed some company.

You were right.

Sam was sat on the end of his bed, he hadn’t said much recently. About anything. You understood why of course, he’d just lost his brother, he blamed himself. You had sympathy pouring from your pores for him, his once so full and lively eyes now looked dead. Because a part of him was, loosing Dean was like loosing a part of his soul.

But you were trying your best to make him feel better. See ever since you met Sam, he caught your attention instantly. You two would lightly flirt with each other, nothing too serious. But once Dean died all that stopped, but your feelings for him stayed.

You had just been to the store to get a few DVD’s, snacks and beer. You walked towards him and sat next to him, taking the items out one by one.

“So. I got some beer and snacks- can’t watch a movie without essentials can we?”

Sam shrugged. You weren’t expecting a reply, so even that was something.

“And i didn’t really know what movie you’d wanna watch so i got a few.” you looked at the covers of them, they were less than a dollar each and looked pretty crappy. But being a hunter wasn’t a million dollar job sadly.

“Okay… i know they look bad but, never judge a book by its cover right?” you said with a smile. Which earned you a small nod from Sam which was alreadly half way through a bottle of beer. You hated to see him like this, the broken shell of a man he once was. Before he could raise the bottle again you gently put your hand over his that were gripping the bottle.

“Sam… please talk to me.” you said softly.

He scoffed lightly. “Talk to you? What is there to talk about.” he raised the bottle, finishing off the last of his beer before putting the empty one on the floor. He went to reach for another but you moved the case away, causing him to look at you.

“Sam your brothers dead.” it was a little blunt but true, the statement alone made Sam’s heart clench. “You have to talk about it… please Sam.”

Sam was quite, looking down at the ground with his head in his hands. You put a hand on his back, gently rubbing it up and down his spine in a comforting manner.

“In your own time…” you said quietly. The feel of your hand made Sam take a deep breath out, he then spoke.

“It’s all my fault…” his voice was alien to you. He sounded angry, upset, broken- everything. “He… he sold his damn soul to save me.” he was still looking down.

It was a hard pill to swallow for you, you couldn’t imagine how Sam was feeling. You shifted a little closer. “This is not your fault Sam.” your voice was so certain, there wasn’t a single doubt in your mind that told you this was his fault.

Sam shook his head, the tears threatening to prick his eyes. “How isn’t it?”

You thought for a moment, you could absolutely understand why he thought this. You lifted his chin up gently so he’d look at you. He looked broken, like he had nothing else to give.

“Because Dean had a choice. He could’ve chosen to save you and face the consequences, or lived the rest of his life without his baby brother. And he chose to save you.” You said softly, like you were approaching a wild animal and had to speak in a certain tone to avoid spooking it away.

Sam’s lip jittered slightly, the tears pricking his eyes.

“It should’ve been me.” you could hear the emotion balling up in his throat. “I want it to be me.”

“Oh Sam…” you said quietly, bringing him close to you, putting his head on your chest as he began to weep like a child. His hands gripped onto your shirt, like he had to feel you were real and here with him.

You held him as he cried, every so often he’d mutter something through his tears like ‘i miss him so much’ or ‘i wish he was still here’. You just wished you could fix this, take his pain away.

Eventually Sam straightened up, wiping his face with the back of his hands like a child would. He then looked at you, he was craving comfort and didn’t care what form he got it in. It was only now you realised how close you both were.

He lifted his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear, that pained expression still on his face. “You’re so beautiful…” he said quietly, his voice still shaky.

What?! Had you heard him right?

“You… what?” you replied, confused yet soft.

He let his hand run through the end of your hair, it was so soft between his fingers. Oddly comforting and familiar.

“I’ve thought it ever since we met… how amazing you are.” he swallowed, he knew this was a bad idea. But right now he didn’t care. “how kissable your lips look..”

Your head almost exploded at that. A part of you wanted to lean in, tease him and then kiss him. Smiling as you do so. But another part- the more dominant part- was telling you to end this before it got any further.

“Sam..” you said softly, you hated the fact you had to turn him down. Especially since you would’ve loved nothing but to be like that with him.

“No.. Don’t- don’t ’Sam’ me like that.” his tone was sort of angry, hurt more than anything. He took your hands in his. “You can’t just… this is something. It has to be.” it’s almost like he was begging you to give him the chance, you were the only good thing in his life right now. But you were thinking logically, you knew you’d mostly be a stress relief. And that’s not what you wanted to be. You took your hands out of his grip, putting them on his face instead.

“Sammy…” you said softly. “It is something… but that something? It’s not meant to happen right now. When it does happen, i want it to happen because we both need it.” you paused. “Not because we want it.”

Sam leaned into your touch, god he hated the fact you were right. He sighed softly and nodded.

“Yeah… yeah okay.” he stayed seated for a moment, you ran of your hands through his hair which almost made him flinch. He was so tense right now for so many reasons, so he stood up.

“I’m gonna go shower… you uh- you can set the movie up.” he said quietly as he walked into the bathroom.

You came to regret this moment.

Because days later, Sam stumbled across Ruby again.

He accepted her ‘help’.

She gave him the attention he so desperately craved from you.

It’s.

Your.

Fault.

As you finally finished telling Dean you were in tears, he was looking at you with a sympathetic look.

“That’s not your fault… how were you supposed to know? You did the right thing, Y/N.” Dean said as he got to your level, forcing you to avert your gaze from the floor to him.

You were about to say something else until you heard Sam start to scream again from the panic room, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to get the hell out of there.

Everytime you heard his screams.

Everytime you heard him begging- pleading- for a god to come and save him.

All you could hear was sirens going off, screaming that it was all your fault.

· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

i lowkey came up with this idea and wrote it within 10 mins so it’s not proof read and may be a lil doody. BUT THANK U FOR READING !!

tags: @jztcas @gh0stlightss @viemonster @ar1nanna @whatif67

[the-hexzone]

Happy Fanfic Rec Friday!

I want to share my appreciation for the many talented authors in our fandom with a list of my favorite Arcane Jayvik fanfics. This week’s theme is fics that made me cry.

(Edit by @arcanegifs)

divine alchemy of the self by r0sie_p0sies

Rated M | 4/4 Chapters | 40k+ Words

Summary:

Jayce and Viktor try to save Viktor's life.

This is usually the moment in the dream when Jayce realizes he’s loved Viktor for a long time. He doesn’t say anything about that, though. Instead he says, We did it, we did it, Viktor, and Viktor says, Catch me. Jayce smiles so wide it aches.

Maybe that’s not exactly how it happened. Maybe Jayce doesn’t care.

Tonight he dreams about That Night again. In this version, he already knows that Viktor is going to die—he stares at his limbs moving like he’s underwater, at his big, bright smile, and thinks I don’t want you to end up where you’re going. What can I do to make sure you stay?

Notes:

An achingly beautiful rendition of Jayce and Viktor’s relationship from start to finish. This fic invokes the full range of human emotions—joy, contentment, humor, affection, fear, sorrow, pain, and, above all else, love.

***

as long as the matter remains the same by artifice

Rated T | 1/1 Chapters | 2k+ Words

Summary:

The end, the ship of theseus, and the beginning.

“Here’s a thought experiment,” says Viktor.

Notes:

A playful debate about the ship of theseus from Jayce and Viktor’s early days in the lab unfolds across the tragic trajectory of their partnership. There is an almost eerie quality to the way their respective stances measure up against their future decisions and motivations. I especially love the nonlinear structure of the narrative. It reminds me of Nell’s monologue in The Haunting of Hill House television series: “I thought for so long that time was like a line… that our moments were laid out like dominoes... But I was wrong. Our moments fall around us like rain… or the snow… or confetti.” This fic captures the likeness of that ephemeral free-fall beautifully.

***

Uncover Him by spqr (@andthepeople)

Rated M | 1/1 Chapters | 10k+ Words

Summary:

Viktor's dying. He doesn't tell his partner.

Viktor still thinks of the house as Jayce’s house, the bed as Jayce’s bed, the pillows and blankets as Jayce’s pillows and Jayce’s blankets. He supposes there’s no point in training himself out of the habit, now; soon enough they will be Jayce’s blankets and Jayce’s bed and Jayce’s house again, and Viktor will only have been a temporary visitor, moving in and out of his life and soon enough forgotten.

Notes:

This fic scrapes my heart out of its cage with a dull spoon every time I read it, and I’m the one who always hands over the spoon anyway. Amid devastating circumstances that herald an uncertain future, devotion becomes its own kind of magic. The love Jayce and Viktor have for each other makes them believe in the impossible because, together, they have already made the impossible, possible. The story concludes with a sweet promise, but the underlying warning is destined to go unheeded all the same.

***

Vice and Crucible by sherwoodfox

Rated M | 44/44 Chapters | 68k+ Words

Summary:

Dying, trapped in a crack in the world, Jayce has lost almost everything- save the memories. And in the darkness those come out in terrible, technicolor clarity. Every victory, every failure, how it all began- and how it ended. Every single time he stepped over the edge. Every time he fell.

Of course, falling didn't always hurt. Once, he had fallen in love.

He’d seen himself- a thousand thousand selves- a million lives lived and unlived, choices he’d never made, and all the choices he could’ve had, if he’d made them- branching paths that spun past him into infinity, too dizzying to hold onto. He’d seen a crack of light form in the yet-empty universe, and the bubbling of a split-cell that would become the first life in the world. He’d seen ends of ice and ends of fire, and cities of a thousand colours rising from the dirt only to be torn down, then rise, then torn down again-

-and then he’d turned his back, and he’d seen Nothing.

Oh, god, nothing- that sucking, spark-violet, hungry nothing, that masticated on the edge of the universe. The nothing that reached, and picked, and pried, lashing its way into every possible gap, yearning to spread itself further. Howling starvation and an endless, malignant siphon, a wind that sheared skin from bone and bleached the air.

…and he’d seen himself pick up a piece of this nothing, and sew it into his lover’s heart.

Notes:

A canon rewrite where Jayce and Viktor’s partnership entails a closeted romance. Witnessing the events of canon unfold regardless of the fan-created variables set in motion is a special kind of heartbreak.

***

home is a place you’ve never been by sulkybender (@sulkybender)

Summary:

Jayce gets everything he wants.

He’d always imagined it differently. Viktor limping a little as he undressed, Jayce kissing down his back, marking every bolt in his spine, claiming it as his, and known, and loved. He had wanted to splay Viktor on his back and open his legs, soft kisses fanning from his knee down his inner thigh. He had wanted everything exactly right.

And now everything’s exactly wrong. Viktor is looking at him with silver eyes, bewitching, and the body Jayce saved him with is made of metal, like he forged it himself in a dream and woke with it under his fingers, this vision of Viktor, both fixed and ruined. Ruined by fixing.

Notes:

This is the fic where Orpheus looks back to see his beloved Eurydice and then they return to the Underworld hand-in-hand.

***

all and none of you by flightofwonder

Rated G | 1/1 Chapters | 269 Words

Summary:

Viktor in his field of dreamless solitude. Jayce is (isn’t) there too.

“I love you,” says Viktor, cradling Jayce’s head between his hands.

“I love you,” Jayce says back, cadence empty, flat, emotionless.

Notes:

A masterclass on the power of brevity. How to feel sad in just 269 words.

***

Contingency Planning by thirty2flavors

Rated T | 1/1 Chapters | 3k+ Words

Summary:

Jayce and Viktor have a difficult conversation about Viktor’s future.

“I’m not planning your funeral.”

“Someone has to.” Viktor isn’t even looking to see the way Jayce glares at him. “Either we do it together now, or we wait, and you can do it… later. On your own.”

Notes:

Written before season 2. This fic measures Jayce’s idealism against Viktor’s inevitable decline. The anticipatory grief is palpable, but so is the love and care they hold for each other as partners.

***

That’s all Folks!

[fortunatelyseveredreamland]

What a week…

It’s so weird to be back here. I am sad I deleted my blog so many years ago and forgot what it was even called. I knew I’d come back eventually if something big were to happen. Never thought this exact thing would be the reason.

I was at work on Wednesday when I found out. My hands immediately shook and my heart sank. I couldn’t wait to leave to get home and be able to know more and mourn. As soon as I got in the car, I started crying.

It’d been such a long time since 1D took up this much space in my brain. It feels like a lifetime ago, sitting on tumblr from night to morning. Rewatching the video diaries and music videos millions of times. Making my friends and followers one shots and photoshopped texts. Plastering my entire room with posters from every magazine I could find. But somehow, it also feels like yesterday?

It felt weird to have my mind immediately transport back to being in my room and only caring about the boys. Sleepovers with my bestie revolving around their music.

I don’t think I have ever loved something as much as I love One Direction. The feeling of hanging out with you all and loving the boys so very much. I wish I could feel that way right now without the overwhelming amount of guilt.

I had to come back here with a brand new account and feel this community’s embrace again. The only people that will ever truly understand this feeling. And I’m so glad I did. While everyone is speaking how they feel, they are also sharing old posts, and funny ones. Ones that make all of the good memories come rushing back like a rough river. It’s like I never left. And in some way, I don’t think I ever truly did. I left my heart on this website and in One Direction and now I feel like there is a part of my soul that is never coming back. But maybe in due time, he can live in that void for the rest of time.

I have seen a lot of posts about inner child. But to be honest, I don’t think my inner child is crying. My full adult self is crying. The part of me that would spend all of my life savings on a ticket to an ot5 reunion. The little girl inside of me left long ago, but the adult 27 year old woman who has nothing to look forward to now feels like she’s actively dying inside. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. They were supposed to live until they were 90. It’s just unfair and too soon.

I’d like to say that I hope all of you are doing well. This is the first day since the news that I haven’t been a full puddle of tears, but I also keep waking up and hoping this is a nightmare. I took a shower and blasted take me home. I cried a little bit it was cathartic. It made me feel that all of those memories are worth so much to not only me but to the boys and their families.

I’d like to round this off with my letter to Liam.

Hey Leeyum,

I miss you like crazy already. Which pains me to say because I could’ve been a more active fan for you in the last few years. I knew what had been happening, but always felt like you were going to come out on the other side, stronger. I wish we all could’ve saved you.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for writing songs that helped me through my teenage and early adult years. They still do. Thank you for making us laugh. Thank you for making us proud. I know you wouldn’t want us to wallow in sadness for you. You’d want us to talk about the memories.

The boys love you so much and I hope you knew that. There was no One Direction without you. You were the glue that held it all together. You deserved more public love than you were ever given. I just hope you know how much the 1D family cares and loves you.

I’m so sorry this was the way your story ended. You deserved so much more than life gave you. I will love you until the end of time, sweet boy. <3

I love you all. Please take care of yourselves. I plan on sticking around a while. Hope to see more names that I recognize on my feed.

[kyoshithewriter]

Level the Playing Field.

Warnings: mature themes (18+)

Part nine: New Rules.

A/n: A mess. Enjoy.

The tension in the room is palpable. Celine and Mikayla sit cross legged on the floor while Sadé paces. She can’t sit still, sitting still means she becomes hyper-aware of the fast paced fluttering of her heart and that will make her even more anxious than she already is. She doesn’t want to have a panic attack right now. But her foot still isn’t fully healed and it’s starting to get sore; she can’t keep this up for much longer. She has been walking back and forth in the living room since she got Jude’s message that he’s about to go into a meeting with Ms. Summers and the school board- that was nearly fifty minutes ago.

“Another one.” Mikayla whispers cautiously. Sadé walks over in her direction leaning down to read what she found. Another major sports account with Jude’s name plastered in the headline: “Hey Jude! New superstar signing caught getting naughty with TA at Erlhedge.” A screenshotted image from one of the videos accompanies the post. It was uploaded ten minutes ago and already has thousands of likes and more than a million impressions.

“Fuck, that’s the tenth one.” Sadé pinches the bridge of her nose and resumes her pacing. How fucking long will this take?

“At least the headline isn’t as cringey as the others. And the comments are mostly lighthearted jokes?” Celine smiles awkwardly.

“Fuck, what if it all backfires? What if Summers gets off, Jude gets expelled and loses the contract and I’m left stuck on campus with that slithering little viper who obviously has very devious plans for me?” Her chest rises and falls at a quicker rate; “what if I actually ruin his life, both our lives?”

“Hey now, you can’t blame yourself here. Remember what she wanted him to do to you, it was either that or… this is the best course of action you could’ve taken to try saving yourself and Jude.” Mikayla’s voice is stern. Celine nods eagerly in agreement.

“I want to believe that but my brain is playing tricks on me. How long do these stupid meetings take anyway?!” The frustration is evident in her tone.

“Uh, I wouldn’t know. This isn’t something that happens often, Sadé.”

“It was a rhetorical question, Mikky.” Sadé rolls her eyes in exasperation.

“Have a seat Sadé, you’re gonna give yourself a stroke.” Mikayla chides softly.

Sadé heaves a heavy sigh but flops on the couch. Her friends try distracting with trivial conversation but it does little to keep her from checking her phone every minute or the insistent bouncing of her leg.

“It’s been about an hour and a half now.” Sadé feels like crying. If she doesn’t hear from him soon her heart might actually explode.

“They probably just want all the facts befo-” Mikayla breaks off into a scream as the door to their flat is suddenly flung open. Maybe Jude was right about locking their door. Speaking of Jude... it’s him who stands in the doorway. He stays still for a second or two, eyes looking almost crazed before they land on her. Sadé holds her breath trying to decipher the expression on his face, but he’s charging toward her before she can blink. She squeals when she’s suddenly lifted clean off the couch.

“You’re a fucking genius, Sadé.” His voice is giddy with excitement as he twirls her around in his arms. Sadé’s giggles are loud and bright as they fill the small space.

“It worked?!” Mikayla’s question halts Jude’s antics and he looks over in her direction as if just now noticing her friends on the floor.

“Uh sorry.” He says bashfully as she gently places Sadé on her feet. “It did, I am currently suspended for the next couple of months but that only means I’ll miss my exams. I can sit those next year with my others in senior year or during the summer. The club has given me a stern warning in regards to their image and scandals but that’s it. Oh and Ms. Summers was fired. She tried to do exactly what we assumed she would, it was a very believable performance too. It’s almost scary what would’ve happened if I didn’t have proof. They agreed she looked too… eager for her accusations to be believable.”

“I can’t believe that actually worked.” Sadé says in awe. She was really hoping it would, but the more she thought about it, the more stupid it sounded in her head.

“That woman is… something.” Celine whispers in disbelief.

“You should see the texts she’s been sending these last couple of days when I started messing around with her again. I heard Annita complaining about being harassed by some unknown number recently too and I know it’s her. I had no idea she was so obsessed with me. Those came in handy as well.”

Sadé tries her best not to focus on his Annita statement, jealousy is the last thing that should be on her mind right now.

“To think it didn’t have to come to this at all.” Sadé mutters.

“Eh, who knows? She’s obviously unhinged. She would’ve lashed out some way or another.”

Sadé hums in agreement with Mikayla’s statement.

Sadé is enveloped in a crushing hug.

“Thank you, Sadé. You didn’t have to help me at all, I didn’t deserve it but you did.” Jude says softly.

Sadé melts in his embrace.

“It’s no problem, Jude.”

“Mhm now be more mindful where you put your dick.”

“Celine!” Mikayla chastises.

“What? It’s true! As if the student body population wasn’t enough he had to turn to the TA?”

Sadé tenses in Jude’s hold. Waiting for him to take offense and lash out; instead, he chuckles deeply. The vibrations rumbling against Sadé’s cheek.

“You are right, actually. I’ve learned my lesson.”

***************

One week is all it takes for everyone on campus to grow bored of Jude’s little scandal. Before long, everything feels like it used to; but that puts Sadé on edge. She can’t help that she’s a pessimist, it’s almost impossible not to be when you have an anxiety disorder. Ms. Summers was instructed to leave the campus with immediate effect after that meeting, she hasn’t seen the woman since their little confrontation in her lecture hall; but she can’t shake the feeling that she has something else up her sleeve. On top of that, things with Jude have been weird. After he had dropped by two days ago to thank her, she hasn’t heard from him since and she’s not sure how to feel about that. On one hand she’s a bit happy, she needs time away from him. But there’s some part of her, a very huge part that feels so sad. She knows she shouldn’t, she still can’t even properly label what’s going on between them-she still doesn’t even know if he considers her a friend. What she does know is that she is stupid enough to have feelings for him. She knows she’s naive, she should’ve stopped talking to Jude from the very first moment she realized he didn’t take her seriously. But when he looks like that, and walks like that and talks like that and makes her laugh like that and makes her feel like that- it’s so hard to. But now his every action has such substantial effects on her it’s scary. Like now, after helping him out of a situation that sticky, he goes ghost. Yes, he did see her immediately after the meeting but still, she misses him. A lot. Things between her and Celine are still a little rocky; sure they interacted a lot for a couple of days but that was only because of the fragile situation. She’s been purposely making herself scarce by locking away in her room with studying as an excuse whenever she comes over. Which she has been doing frequently. Sadé doesn’t dislike her at all but does she trust her? Not particularly.

Trevor [4:35 pm]: I guess you don’t want to see me?

Sadé sighs heavily at the message. He’s not the one she wants to hear from right now.

Sadé [4:37 pm]: I’ve been a bit busy, sorry.

Trevor [4:39 pm]: I understand, with exams coming up and all. Could you make some time tomorrow night though?

It’s a Friday night, she can make time for him. Does she want to though? Not really, but she feels bad.

Sadé [4:41 pm]: I can try. I’ll let you know tomorrow evening.

Sadé is just about to toss her phone on her bed but her mom’s name flashes across the screen. Fuck, not now. Sadé seriously contemplates not picking up but she knows the woman will just keep calling until she does.

“Mother.” Her tone is even, quiet.

“Sadé, has everything I taught you meant nothing?” The woman’s tone is cold. Sadé’s heart drops.

“Um…”

“Um? Are you challenged? Answer the question.”

“Yes they have, ma’am.” She swallows nervously, fighting the urge to pick at her eyebrows.

“I did everything right, I kept you sheltered, made sure you wanted for nothing, brought you up in the church, yet you still find a way to embarrass me like this?!” Sadie’s voice pitches higher after every phrase she utters. Sadé has to distance the phone from her ear by the last word because the woman screamed it.

“What did I- I d-didn’t do anything.” Sadé stutters on the verge of panic. Her mother’s ire is something she always tries to avoid. Sadé didn’t grow up fearing monsters from any folklore like she does her own mother.

“Do you think I’m stupid? I thought you were getting good grades because you worked for them. Tell me Sadé, why did your professor overturn that C you got?”

“I… the TA had been in charge for a while because Mr. Smith was out sick. She gave me a grade that didn’t make sense so I escalated the issue to him.” She responds truthfully.

“Why would she give you a bad grade on purpose?! Are you sleeping with your male professors for good grades, Sadé?”

Sadé’s eyes nearly bulge from their sockets. Where could she have gotten that idea?!

“What?! No!”

“Now you’ve become a dirty liar on top of the fact that you are a whore! You think I also haven’t heard of you kissing boys in dark alleyways?” The woman seethes the words over the phone.

Sadé is choking up. Two names immediately come to mind about who could’ve fed her mother these lies, well, she did kiss Jude in an alleyway but that’s beside the point. The point is, only Annita and Summers would want to do this to her but only one had access to her personal information.

“Wait until you get home for the summer, Sadé. Matter of fact, you’re going to start applying for local universities since you can’t act like you have sense when you’re out of my sight, I don’t care if you have to start over. Do you understand me?” Something suddenly replaces the fear in Sadé. Something hot and blinding. Maybe it’s the way she just started accusing without even giving her a chance to defend herself or explain. Maybe it’s the way she just dictated her future with no care for her opinion- “I don’t care if you have to start over.” Like her two years of hardwork in an Ivy League school means nothing just because she says it doesn’t. Or maybe Sadé is just plain tired; whichever it is, it makes her so furious she begins shaking with it.

“No.” One word. Plain, simple but clear and full of venom. The air freezes, her mother breathes evenly on the phone but she stays quiet for what feels like an eternity.

“What did you just say?”

“I said no. I’m not leaving school to start over locally. I worked hard for my grade. I didn’t fuck my way to anything! Thanks for asking by the way.”

“Sadé, think carefully about your next words. Remember who’s supporting you.” Her mother warns.

“I don’t care. That crazy woman that called? She was involved with a student and I helped get her fired and that’s why she told you those lies! But it doesn’t matter, I’ve never been a daughter to you, just someone you wanted to mold into your perfect little prize isn’t that right?” Sadé sucks in a deep breath. “Well I’m done. I don’t need your support anymore. I’ll figure this out on my own.” Sadé prays she won’t regret this but she had to stand up for herself one day. The scholarships Jude introduced her to start taking applications in the summer, she hopes she can land at least one that will cover her full tuition. She’ll have to figure out paying for accommodation and necessities another time.

“If this is what we’re doing, know that I’m done too. Don’t even come home for the summer. Figure everything out on your own.”

The line goes dead. Sadé sits and she waits for the feeling of dread to come. She waits and waits. But all she feels is overwhelming relief, the kind that makes your shoulders feel lighter, the kind that makes your lungs feel like they expand so much further than they could before. The kind that brings tears to your eyes. So Sadé cries. She cries for her younger self who always had to walk on eggshells back home in Barbados, the little girl who just wanted to hear her mother utter the words “I love you” just once. She cries for her teenage self who just wanted to have fun with friends but got denied every single time. She cries for finally, finally finding the courage to escape her prison.

************

“I’m so proud of you.” Sadé didn’t know she would be able to cry again for the rest of the evening, but hearing those words from Mikayla’s mouth while being in her embrace is making her realize that she indeed could.

“It feels so good, but I know reality will come crashing down soon. Where will I go in the summer, Mikky? I can’t go home.” She says through sniffles.

“You’ll stay with me. And we’ll spend the summer finding you a job so you can save up! And scholarships too! You have excellent grades that shouldn’t be so hard.” There’s a look of such determination on her face that Sadé starts believing it will be okay.

“I um, I already found some possible scholarship opportunities but are you sure your family will be okay with me spending the entire summer?” She asks timidly. The last thing she wants to do is be a bother.

“Are you kidding? They love you! And if I explain your situation to my parents they’re going to suggest it first in fact.”

Sadé smiles weakly. She has spoken to Mikayla’s parents on multiple occasions and they have always been so pleasant to her.

“I’ll call them first thing Saturday morning so we can talk to them.”

*************

Now that Sadé thinks about it, she has to hand it to Ms. Summers. She went out but she did with a bang. Completely destroying the relationship, no matter how fragile, she had with her mother while also putting her entire future in jeopardy is something she almost wants to applaud. A true villain, she has to respect it. She spritzes on some vanilla perfume, fully surprised that she managed to spend the entire forty minutes getting ready while being completely lost in her own thoughts. Trevor suggested they meet at one of the nicer restaurants in town for dinner, so she decided on a nude midi pencil skirt and a matching long sleeved crop top. She slides her feet into a pair of three inch heeled sandals to complete her outfit.

Sadé [6:48 pm]: I’m about to leave, have fun with Ryan but please keep your phone nearby in case I need you😩

She sends the text to Mikayla right before stepping out the front door. What Celine told her still lingers in the back of her mind so she’s on high alert tonight. She doesn’t think he’ll physically hurt her but who knows what he’s planning if he is indeed plotting with Annita.

Mikayla [6:50 pm]: ay ay captain 🫡

Chez Marie is a quiet, intimate restaurant. The interior decor is clearly Sicilian inspired even though the restaurant and menu is advertised as French. She’s a few minutes later than their agreed time of 7:15 but it’s only by five minutes so she isn’t too worried. He had told her he’s at the booth furthest back which she’s realizing wasn’t necessary as the maître d escorts her right to him. Sadé, however, freezes in her tracks. When Trevor said he made reservations, he never mentioned it was for four; and he definitely didn’t mention it would be a double date with Jude and Annita.

“Hi!” Annita greets, giving her Cheshire-like grin.

*********

The tension is so thick at the table she could cut it with the dull blade of the butter knife. Speaking of, she wonders if a butter knife would be sharp enough to slit Trevor’s throat. He sits to her right, spine uncomfortably straight as he avoids looking in her direction altogether. Jude on the other hand, he stares, no- glares in her direction every time Annita looks away from him. Does he seriously think I knew about this?

“So! That was a crazy past couple of days, huh?” Annita chimes with that fake fucking voice Sadé hates.

“I’m sorry but, I was never informed this would be a double date.” Sadé says evenly. She can’t dance around or play pretend; and quite frankly, she’s sick of always seeming to be a pawn in somebody’s game.

“Neither was I.” Jude tacks on coldly.

“Okay, I’m guilty. I just want this tension between Jude and Trevor gone, I don’t want there to be a complete fallout between the groups. The parties wouldn’t be the same and it would just make the whole college experience boring. So I told Trevor to ask you out because I know he likes you and third-wheeling isn’t fun.” Sadé immediately sees through the facade of innocence she puts on during her confession. But she immediately picks up on the fact that Trevor seems to in fact be Annita’s pawn for whatever reason.

“You put us all in this uncomfortable situation because of… college parties?” Sadé asks incredulously.

Annita rolls her eyes.

“You wouldn’t understand. You’re not a part of… this particular circle.” She knows exactly what she’s implying.

“But, guess what!” She holds her right hand up flashing a small, diamond ring on her finger. “Jude gave me a promise ring. I know he’s proposing as soon as we graduate.” She cuddles into his side, smiling cheekily. Sadé wants to laugh, honestly she does. Anyone who isn’t a teenager flashing a promise ring is so pathetic in her eyes.

“Yeah I’m not doing this with you, with any of you.” She stands, turning to face Trevor. “Lose my number.” She fixes her eyes on Jude next.

“Tell your psychopath of a… whatever she is because last time we spoke a couple days ago you told me she isn’t even your girlfriend.” Annita’s face twists angrily in her peripheral but she doesn’t care, “that there’s nothing going on between us so to leave me the fuck alone.”

Sadé turns on her heels and heads straight for the exit with a small smile on her face hearing Annita yelling at Jude.

[jacenbren]

Apologies for yet another nonsensical insomnia rant but the fact that Legato Bluesummers a) has never truly been a free man and b) cannot fathom ever living outside of servitude. really hurts man. Like ohhhhhh boy.

In the ‘98 anime (due to trimax being incomplete at the time), we never really got to see the real dark and nasty bits of Legato’s story, and trigun stampede hasn’t yet gotten a chance to really delve into his character. While Legato still served the same purpose as he did in the manga with similar events playing out, I think a lot of his character’s depth was missing in tri98—we never really learn why it is that Legato is so deeply devoted to Knives, and he’s portrayed as a lot more… theatrical?? than he is in the manga?? anyway. Tri98 Legato serves his narrative purpose and is a great villain, but he seems a bit shallow, for lack of a better word, mostly because we don’t actually get to learn a lot about him.

In comparison to his counterparts, trimax Legato is… kinda a loser. The second we meet Knives, Legato gets crumpled like a soda can and spends the majority of the series as a quadriplegic who sits menacingly in the shadows in his body brace/coffin thing (which I affectionately like to call his Bitch Cocoon). He spends his time being very weird and unlikeable and tormenting Vash in various ways, all while dramatically singing Knives’s praises, despite him being the guy who quite literally rearranged all of Legato’s limbs and permanently crippled him. All in all, despite being an absolute menace in combat and just a generally fucking unsettling guy, Legato’s kind of pathetic and really easy to dunk on at first. Just ask Elendira, who roasts the shit out of him on a daily basis because she’s bored and even “accidentally” chucks a glass of water at him! He’s an easy target!

However, I think this makes the absolute gut punch that is finding out why Legato is the way he is infinitely worse, which I absolutely adore from a narrative and storytelling standpoint.

Legato has been a slave since he was a child, in every way but name—well, he was literally a slave as a child, and more specifically, a sex slave. He grew up knowing nothing other than the absolute worst of humanity, instilling a hatred towards his own kind that would last his entire life. It’s made abundantly clear that Legato doesn’t value himself in the slightest, because he grew up as little more than a commodity, to use and dispose. When Knives razes the city Legato’s being held captive in, and goes to kill him, this is the first act of kindness he has ever received, and yet also the greatest unkindness—Knives has destroyed Legato’s life, no matter how abhorrently shitty it was. Legato has never lived a life outside slavery, so he has no idea what to do with himself.

So he turns to Knives. Millions Knives, whose goal is to eradicate the humans who have done nothing but make Legato suffer. Knives, who seems all too willing to put him out of his misery should he turn down Legato’s offer to serve him.

Legato cannot fathom a life without a master, without pain and suffering and servitude. He cannot comprehend the idea of freedom, and most of all, he can’t understand Vash. He can’t understand that someone whose kind has been used and abused by humans for centuries, who’s suffered for decades alone in the desert, could find it in himself to forgive and love the ones who hurt him so unconditionally. Vash’s very existence infuriates Legato, because Vash is a mirror image of him—a mirror image whose trauma didn’t swallow him whole and turn him into something despicable. Sure, Knives might’ve saved him, but he’s just another master to serve. Knives broke every bone in his body as punishment for disobedience, and yet somehow, Knives still favors his brother—who keeps running, who keeps refusing, who keeps avoiding his past—over Legato, who’s sworn to never disobey his orders again.

Vash is what Legato could’ve been. Vash is what Legato desperately wants to be. The problem is, Legato refuses to heal, and he doesn’t want to be fixed, either.

[sapphic-agent]

I thought of something that could add to the discussion around Izuku and Shigaraki. Back in the first war arc, Hawks made the morally gray decision to kill Twice before he could start multiplying and endanger the lives of every hero in the war. He didn’t seem to want to do it, but he did, because a lot more people would have died if he didn’t. Twice also wasn’t as malicious as Shigaraki and was portrayed as one of the more sympathetic League members.

Compare this to the current fight between Izuku and Shigaraki, where Izuku insists on saving him even when Shigaraki has been threatening to destroy everything, with the “sympathetic” part of him being buried underneath metaphorical rubble. There are parallels between the two, but I don’t know if Horikoshi intended there to be.

It adds to the problem of how Horikoshi never properly set up Izuku’s conflict of “saving” Shigaraki. It’s been mentioned by others how the relationship between Izuku and Shigaraki wasn’t expanded enough, but another way the conflict could’ve had more impact was through the reactions of other characters.

Hawks could have talked to Izuku about his decision, possibly pushing back against Izuku trying to save him and saying it’s “necessary” to kill Shigaraki because he’s too big a threat. And if he was written better as a more strict mentor, Aizawa could have been a character that pushed back against Izuku’s insistence towards saving Shigaraki, with possible parallels to Kurogiri/Oboro, while also pointing out the irrationality of (unintentionally) prioritizing one life over the millions of Japan (compared to his inconsistent logic in canon).

Seemingly the only significant pushback Izuku gets for his decision is from the vestiges who would probably be the only ones who would understand him when he talks about Shigaraki’s inner child. Instead we’ve got Izuku still insisting on saving Shigaraki, or the child inside of him, not only risking his life but also probably the entire country of Japan if he fails, and Horikoshi is forcing him down that path by making Shigaraki so overpowered that he can’t defeat him the normal way.

To add a question onto this, what do you think could have been done in the story to better set up Izuku’s decision to save Shigaraki, or at least what could’ve been done to make sure that Izuku didn’t come off as overly misguided in his decision?

Bestie, you hit the mark with this one.

I agree with basically everything here. Having Hawks talk to and relate to Izuku's situation (seriously, why is it so hard to get positive Hawks interaction) would have been perfect. Izuku learning that you can't save people who don't want to be saved would have been a crucial lesson as it goes against everything his built himself up to be.

There's saving people, and then there's the fucking mental torture Horikoshi's putting Izuku through for no goddamn reason.

There's actually a few things I think could have been done.

The mall scene should have been extended. I like it for what it is, but it really doesn't get into the difference in their ideals or what really sets them apart from each other. The parallels were all there, Hori just couldn't design to expand on them

Izuku should have been the one kidnapped, not Bakugou. Fucking Bakugou's kidnapping was so useless to the plot. All it proved was that Shigaraki can't recognize what makes a villain. Bakugou had everything handed to him his whole life, why would he compromise his secure future? Izuku would have had every reason to be a villain, but wanted to be a hero. This could have been the arc where the two of them learn to understand one another. Izuku sees the hurt kid and Shigaraki sees the battered hero

To expand off #2, I think it should have led to them both trying to "save" one another. Shigaraki wants Izuku to give into his hurt and anger, Izuku wants to give Shigaraki a chance at reformation. And that would make their final fight so much more interesting. They both think they're doing the other a favor when in reality Izuku doesn't want to hurt others and Shigaraki doesn't want to conform to society. And that ends up with one of them finishing things off for good

This Izuku vs Shigaraki fight should have had way more buildup. But that would mean properly developing Izuku and Horikoshi would rather die🤷🏾‍♀️

[battle-subway-aftershow]

Inconspicuous mustache and glasses on, soooo you wanna talk about how galar could be good huh?

Points at you this is all your fucking fault (/j)

Anyways you’ve poked me so I’m going to talk about it now. Sorry not sorry.

Before I say anything: “Moth, Tinker, don’t like, all your characters live in galar?” Yes! Because when you’re making an au for Pokémon why make a region out of scratch, when Game Freak’s left a perfectly good blank slate for you right there?

Anyways with that out of the way, I’m putting this under a cut because this is going to be long.

Sword and shield are such disappointing games. You could say a million things about it— the graphics, the routes, the nat dex cut, so on and so forth, but that’s a long dead horse and im not going to start beating it.

I like Sw/Sh’s story. Or, more accurately I like the idea of the story that the games tried and failed to give us. I really want to say there’s something there to grasp at, but honestly? There’s not. Nothing burger ass game.

The plot up until the climax of the story is “The darkest day was a thing and there was a hero that stopped it. Bede’s mean and wants wishing stars. Wait, what?! There’s two heroes? And badass dogs? No way!”

It genuinely feels like they had a full story arc with plot beats written out, but had to scratch everything besides the climax and try to fill in the gaping plot holes as quickly as they could before they hit the deadline for release. It’s so jarring and bizarre when you reach the climax of the story, because it’s just… out of nowhere? You and Hop try to break into the Macro Cosmos tower to interrupt Leon’s meeting because he was… late for dinner? And Oleana hears this and starts acting like an unhinged evil antagonist out of nowhere, even though at the moment not letting you in is just, perfectly logical?

And then the whole hide and seek game she does for the keys— Team Yell joining in, none of this feels deserved at all, probably because there was, I don’t know, supposed to be things happening before this that properly built up to it?

It’s so frustrating, because if they had even executed the story at all, it would’ve been so cool. The guy who practically MADE galar is re-awakening what is basically an eldritch god in a misguided attempt to save the region from future disaster (trauma? Paranoia? All of the above?) but his plan backfires and nearly destroys everything instead??? It’s such a cool idea! And it’s just. Barely even executed at all.

Oleana and Rose both could’ve been such interesting characters. Their Pokémon teams are symbolic of themselves as people, for crying out loud! Imagine how cool those fights, especially Oleana’s, could’ve been if there had been a proper fucking storyline??

(I won’t go too in-depth, but Oleana using beautiful and feminine Pokémon up until her g-max garbador ace— a literal heaping pile of trash? And how that represents the her horrible personality hidden behind her appearance?

And how Rose’s team is made up of thorn and thorn-like Pokémon, as well as industrial Pokémon and his childhood starter? Without a rose in sight? He’s lost who he was to the pursuit of innovation or something. There’s no Rose anymore, only the thorns. Too bad there’s nothing before these moments.)

It ends up just feeling like a barely even executed dollar store version of Sun and Moon. You’ve got the punk evil team who isn’t actually evil, the altruistic company/foundation that turns out to be far worse than the evil team, extraterrestrial pokemon who are very debatably Pokémon being brought into the world and causing problems? Yeah everything screams “we tried to recreate the s/m formula,” down to Hop using Hau’s animations. Insane.

(Also team yell feels like another dead horse that I don’t want to beat— but they don’t work like Team Skull did. Team skull worked! Really well in my opinion! Meanwhile Team Yell is just… kind of a vague nuisance. I get that was the point, but if Macro Cosmos was going to be the villains— why not give any buildup beforehand? Oh well. I said I wouldn’t beat the dead horse.)

Tl;dr: Sword and shield is barely even trash, it’s an empty dumpster with some unopened cans in it and I am sitting in there playing with the cans trying to create a coherent story out of it. Man galar’s good if only it was good. Go watch Twilight wings it’s Galar if it was good

And also sw/sh feels uncannily like bootleg sun and moon, bri’ish edition.