#and that Finland and Ukraine have never been in the same semi final?

[because-its-eurovision]

Us 🥰

110% 🥰

[beauty-and-passion]

What Eurovision 2021 taught us

1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)

Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.

We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.

But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:

The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.

The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.

On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.

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2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads

I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.

The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.

And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.

Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.

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3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision

Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?

Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.

Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.

The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.

So I want to give my full thank you to:

Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.

Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them

Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french

Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year

Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything

France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it

Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm

Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year

While my biggest biases go to:

Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.

Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!

Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!

Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.

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4. That we don't want Americans to play with us

For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.

I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.

And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.

And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.

And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.

The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.

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5. That we can lose like bosses

This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.

Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.

But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.

And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.

Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.

Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.

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6. That FUCK YOU JURY

Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.

The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.

I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.

Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.

And this year, the public's taste was flawless:

Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.

There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.

Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.

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7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives

I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.

I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.

But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.

And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.

And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.

So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.

And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.

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8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)

The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.

And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.

Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.

And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.

And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.

Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.

What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.

This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.

Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.

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9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners

It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.

The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.

The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.

But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.

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10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)

Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.

And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.

And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...

[crystal-methionine]

The Post-Eurovision ranking and comments from an American that nobody asked for:

1. Switzerland 🇨🇭 Gjon’s Tears - Tout l’univers: I absolutely was enamored by this song, its artistry, and the artist. He can really sing and one of my early favorites from this year. So happy for him to get in the top 3 bc it was well deserved. 100/10

2. Italy 🇮🇹 Måneskin - Zitti e Buoni: Deserved winners. As queer as you can get and I am here for it. Another early favorite of mine constantly fighting with Switzerland for the top spot. 100/10

3. Iceland 🇮🇸 Dadi og Gagnamagnid - 10 Years: A beautiful song dedicated to his wife and deserved Top 5 for sure. Last year’s song would have won hands down so I’m bummed he couldn’t win the first one for Iceland but brilliant song and I hope the group stays together to produce more music. 99/10

4. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old: Eurovision fandom will forever say Imaginary Friend or Ugly Cry was the better song to send, but I don’t think they would have won the contest either. This year was strong, and I personally think Growing Up was a perfect choice from Victoria. It deserved top 10 so I was pissed that it came 11th on the night and received so few televotes. 97/10

5. Ukraine 🇺🇦 Go_A - SHUM: To all y’all who said this wouldn’t qualify when the new version came out, eat those words hun. This was a masterpiece, and the live performances just elevated it further. Honestly, Kateryna could step on me, and I would let her. Who doesn’t love an ethnic modern fusion rave? 95/10

6. Serbia 🇷🇸 Hurricane - Loco Loco: I honestly have to say when it came out, it was never breaking my top 20, but here we are. This group of gals is amazing. The choreo, hairography, and the still great vocals won my gay ass over. They served and deserved top 10 in my eye. 90/10

7. Greece 🇬🇷 Stefania - Last Dance: Much like Serbia, I kinda dismissed this as a top 10 song at first, but after many listens and then the live shows, it was one of the best songs this year. Last year’s song was nowhere near a qualifier for me, and then I thought they had a good chance of being top 5 this year. Amazing improvement and can’t wait to see what comes next from Stefania. 80/10

8. Malta 🇲🇹 Destiny - Je me casse: Not going to lie, the studio definitely did more for me. It was up with Italy and Switzerland for winner contention until the live shows. Don’t get me wrong, Destiny is still amazing live, and the song is a deserved top 5 song. However, the costume and staging just really didn’t add to the song and I think detracted a bit. Her song last year was also much better in my opinion. 75/10

9. San Marino 🇸🇲 Senhit ft Flo Rida - Adrenalina: Oh boy this was a party, and the fact Flo Rida actually was there made it even better. The staging and costuming was absolutely camp, and I was here for it. This was definitely not underrated by fans beforehand, but the jury and televote were beyond robberies in my opinion. Granted I know the backing vocals were carrying the chorus a lot so in terms of vocals, I can see where this song got dinged, but this should have been San Marino’s best ever result at Eurovision, and it wasn’t so I’m mad. 60/10

10. France 🇫🇷 Barbara Pravi - Voila: The new Edith Piaf and probably one of the most representative of the country’s culture for a song. A definite deserved runner up on the night but for me 10th place. I loved the staging, the costume, the emotions. It was all right for Eurovision and me. 50/10

11. Cyprus 🇨🇾 Elena Tsingarou - El Diablo: Come through Cyprus with another female pop banger. I’d say if the formula ain’t broke don’t fix it, but wasn’t really enough to crack top 10 this year. Another early favorite of mine this year but soon got eclipsed. Still going to be listening to El Diablo for a while. 49/10

12. Russia 🇷🇺 Manizha - Russian Woman: I can’t lie that at first, this song was absolutely trash to me but quickly rose the ranks and became one of my faves. Same thing happened last year with Uno. We also always love a good female empowerment moment with the native language thrown in. Manizha is a girlboss without the gaslighting and a true queen. Deserved top 10 the night of. 40/10

13. Lithuania 🇱🇹 The Roop - Discoteque: An earworm for first listen and was top 10 for a while for me but like Cyprus, lost out to some others. No doubt this is a deserved top 10 the night of. 35/10

14. Croatia 🇭🇷 Albina - Tick Tock: The first song to get me pressed on it’s placement. Deserved to be in the final over both Israel and Norway (please come for me I don’t care). They freakin rocked that stage during the semis and the song is absolutely a bop. Albina deserved better. 30/10

15. Sweden 🇸🇪 Tusse - Voices: A beautiful song by an amazing artist. Sure the lyrics were a bit cliche Eurovision but guess what...it’s Eurovision. I can hear the voices. Keep carrying on Tusse. 25/10

16. Albania 🇦🇱 Anxehla Peristeri - Karma: This song grew on me a lot. I liked it but wasn’t a don’t skip for a while on my playlist. The live performance changed it for me. She slayed and the staging was everything for Miss Thing. Also native language brownie points. 24/10

17. Finland 🇫🇮 Blind Channel - Darkside: Before you come for me for having this at 17th, keep reading. I’m not a big fan of the lyrics but the song is absolutely fantastic. This style of music isn’t something I pull out on a playlist often, but I had my middle fingers up for this one (and pointed at Germany but we’ll discuss later). Deserved top 10 as they rocked it on stage. 20/10

18. The Netherlands 🇳🇱 Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age: I absolutely do not understand the hate for this song. I was also a huge fan of Grow last year so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised for being generally alone again. The fact it got 0 points in the televote and only 11 in the jury is not surprising but extremely disappointing to me. This song is a masterpiece much like the ones ranked above it. Jeangu, you are amazing and deserved so much better than this. 20/10

19. Belgium 🇧🇪 Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place: Fantastic song but fantastic artists. Always here for a dark pop moment. Gonna go get my own Johnny Cash T-shirt. 15/10

20. Spain 🇪🇸 Blas Cantó - Voy a Quedarme: Such a heartfelt ballad. I enjoyed it quite a bit and don’t understand the hate it has. Didn’t deserve 0 points in the televote. 14/10

21. Denmark 🇩🇰 Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden: Look we all know this song is cheesy but it’s the cheesiest Velveeta queso loco so it’s ranked so high in my opinion. This is a nod to the whacky and weird Eurovision I love. It’s always in my head and I always find myself dancing along. Deserved to be in the final over two of the songs in Semi 2. 13/10

22. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 Efendi - Mata Hari: As far as the song goes, it’s enjoyable, but the stage show was a hot mess in my opinion. The choreo looked a mess and the different sheer legging configurations on the backup dancers was not the correct fashion choice in my opinion as I was distracted by the thought of why are they all different. Did deserve their spot in the final though. 12/10

23. Moldova 🇲🇩 Natalia Gordienko - Sugar: The studio version of this song is a heavily replayed one on my playlist bc of the drop and dance-ability of the song. However the downfall of the song was it’s live performance. The staging was fine and the choreo was great but those attempted sexy whisper vocals were not the choice to go with. I don’t want to sugar-coat this 😝 so they were terrible. Glad she made it but I felt her position in the final was one of just pure luck. 11/10

24. UK 🇬🇧 James Newman - Embers: The nul points was a huge ass oof. This song isn’t bad but I can see where people didn’t vote for it bc it’s not super memorable in terms of who all was participating this year. I like the song and always sing and dance along. 10/10

25. Israel 🇮🇱 Eden Alene - Set Me Free: This is how to do a revamp and be successful. Eden is a fantastic artist who can clearly sing, but the live performance was not all that sans the whistle tones. Yet the whistle tones aside, the song is lacking a lot. When looking back at the songs available, this one should not have been the selected one. I was always on the fence with this one and still am. 9.5/10

26. Czechia 🇨🇿 Benny Cristo - Omaga: The live definitely hurt this song in the first minute and a half. The second half was absolutely what should have happened in terms of vocals. Still like the song and listen to it often. 9.25/10

27. Ireland 🇮🇪 Leslie Roy - Maps: This song was a victim of a super strong bloodbath and shoddy staging ideas. The song is arresting and a bop. Leslie’s gruff voice mixed with the modernized Irish sounds is a match made. The staging of this song that required Leslie to run along with the beat and the distracting and constantly changing bits of the performance we’re definitely it’s downfall. It didn’t deserve last place in Semi 1 though. 9.25/10

28. Portugal 🇵🇹 The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side: I am the first to admit that while I don’t like the song, it deserved the final. The staging and atmosphere elevated the song. 9/10

29. Austria 🇦🇹 Vincent Bueno - Amen: In the battle of the Amens, this one wins solely based on the classy and amazing staging. Don’t get me wrong, Slovenia’s was also elevating but this one did it better. 8.5/10

30. Australia 🇦🇺 Montaigne - Technicolor: This song is a fantastic one for studio. The live since the Sydney Mardi Gras performance has been rough and didn’t necessarily improve. I feel bad bc I do really love this song but it definitely didn’t deserve to qualify. This being said, I love Montaigne, and Don’t Break Me was my runner up last year, and I still listen to it as my anthem when I’m feeling down. I wish I could rank this higher but I can’t. 8.5/10

31. Romania 🇷🇴 Roxen - Amnesia: This song is great in the studio but it got old real fast for me and I don’t know why. This mixed with the poor vocals and the bizarre costume:stage combo was really what did this in and got this low in my ranking. 8.25/10

32. Slovenia 🇸🇮 Ana Soklic - Amen: The loser of the Amen battle, but just barely. The song and vocals are better in my opinion but the whole package was just barely edged out in the end. 8/10

33. Latvia 🇱🇻 Samanta Tīna - Moon Is Rising: Look, this song is nowhere near as good as last years. The queeeeeen sashayed away with that annoying trap beat. 8/10

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰 Vasil - Here I Stand: Leave it to the gays for bringing musical theatre to Eurovision. The song honestly isn’t that special or memorable but he’s higher up bc his stage and voice are amazing. 7/10

35. Norway 🇳🇴 Tix - Fallen Angel: A great message on mental health outside of the song and Tix seems like a quality fella but I do not like the song. I preferred it in Norwegian. And this low ranking is not at all influenced over him beating out Keiino (but maybe a slight bit tho). 5/10

36. Estonia 🇪🇪 Uku Suviste - The Lucky One: While this was 1000% better than last years entry, it still was relatively boring. The stage was equally as boring so sorry Estonia, but you didn’t make the mark. 4.5/10

37. Poland 🇵🇱 Rafael - The Ride: This throwback to the 80s was a bad one. The attempt at a one hit wonder vibe really hurt it along with the artist’s terrible vocals. Also half the time, he was behind the pyro and relying on backup vocals. 4/10

38. Georgia 🇬🇪 Tornike Kipiani - You: You really should not have to wait so long for the more upbeat rock ending of this. If it was that last 30 seconds for 3 minutes, it would be much better. A definite step back from last year. 1/10

39. Germany 🇩🇪 Jendrick - I Don’t Feel Hate: Jendrick might not feel hate but I do bc that is all I feel when this song comes on. 0.5/10

[unibrowzz]

Mod (finally) reviews all 67 winners of the Eurovision Song Contest Part VI: The 00s

So I gave the 2000s a lot of shit back when I was rewatching them, mainly because the contests became much longer now with the introductions of so many more participants that semi finals had to be introduced, and also because the song quality nosedived. With the televote now in full control of who won, all you really needed to do to get a good result was either send somebody well known in your geographical area, and/or send something weird that would stand out amongst 40+ participants.

This is where the illusion of “bloc voting” came from.

So song, quality for the most part, was compromised in favour of either sending an attention-grabbing vote trap or just somebody famous. But that’s enough about the contests overall, how’s about them winners?

2000- Fly on the Wings of Love

Country: Denmark

Artist: Olsen Brothers

Language: English

Thoughts: I wonder how it feels to wait nearly 40 years to win again only to win as a complete surprise with a song 100/1 in the odds. Must be weird. My feelings towards this song are… kinda mixed. It sounds like the kind of song you swear you’ve heard before over a million times, be it in advertisements, on the radio, being played by buskers or bored guitar kids at parties. But at the same time it feels so completely different compared to other winners and, Hell, even other Eurovision songs at the time. It’s a very striking and recognisable song when talking about Eurovision music, sure. It’s very chill, and relaxed, and the singer has a bizarre voice which somehow sounds heavily autotuned even when he’s performing live.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Not really

If no, what is? Sweden- Roger Pontare- “When Spirits are Calling my Name”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 46th

2001- Everybody

Country: Estonia

Artist: Tanel Padar & Dave Benton

Language: English

Thoughts: And this folks, is what you call a guilty pleasure. I avoided this song for a while because I just knew it was objectively terrible. I knew this barely qualified as a song, that most of it was just two mismatched dudes shouting at each other over a disco track, that the lyrics aren’t that great at all… Et cetera. And yet, trashy as it is, I still really like this song. I don’t really know why, maybe it’s my barely-hidden desire to be an obnoxious contrarian, maybe it’s because the chorus has some fairly decent lyrics (especially for an eastern European entry), maybe it’s because it’s catchy… Or maybe because it’s fun, I dunno.

Is this my personal winner for this year? 2001 really sucked tbh

If no, what is? Honestly yeah, this song shreds

Personal ranking (out of 67):  13th

2002: I Wanna

Country: Latvia

Artist: Marie N (Or, Maria Naumova)

Language: English (I think…?)

Thoughts: You want a song which hasn’t aged well? Well here you go.  I’m sure this song was MUCH more bearable back in 2002, but listening to it now is just... What on Earth is she even saying?? I don’t think I’ve heard a song with such garbled lyrics before. On my first listen, I couldn’t even distinguish what language this song was in, and when I finally realised it was in English… good Lord, the lyrics are complete nonsense. And the rhyming? It’s non-existent. The funny thing is Marie herself speaks really good English, so why this song sounds like it was run through Google Translate five times and sung by someone who only started learning English 5 minutes ago is beyond me. But enough about the terrible singing, lyrics and butchery of the English language, does this song have anything else going for it? Not really. I’d put this song into the same category as “Diva”, in that it’s trying desperately to be the next big disco track of its decade, but it just never reaches the crescendo it sets out to achieve. It just drunkenly fumbles around until it ends. What a graceful entry.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? United Kingdom- Jessica Garlick- "Come Back"

Personal ranking (out of 67):  59th

2003- Every Way that I Can

Country: Turkey

Artist: Sertab Erener

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the original ethnopop winner. I’m still not 100% sure what ethnopop is, but I’m guessing it’s just slang for the kind of music you’d hear in a gay bar whilst on your holidays. Not that I would know. This is yet another winner where it took me a good few listens to properly enjoy it since I thought the lyrics were a bit… bad. But unlike those other songs, I got into this one way back in (checks playlist) 2014, and I still haven’t managed to fall out of love with it, so to speak. I still really like this song, I’d go as far as to say it’s in my top ten favourite winners in fact. A statement which still hasn’t changed after I watched the 2003 contest recently in July of 2020, so hooray for that. And ethnopop isn’t really a genre I tend to gravitate towards, but I think what makes this song stand out to me at least is how heavy it is. This is a very slow song when you look at its BPM, and the beat just pounds loud and clear all throughout it. It’s not as obnoxious or in-your-face as other songs of its genre, it’s its own thing and that’s what makes it a cut above the rest for me.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67):  5th

2004- Wild Dances

Country: Ukraine

Artist: Ruslana

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes, the superior Ukrainian winner. This song is kind of similar to the one above, in that just like “Every Way that I Can” this is a big, stampy dance number, only this time with the distinction that the lyrics were written in 30 seconds rather than a few minutes. It doesn't get lazier than this folks. But I'm willing to forgive lazy lyrics if the song can distract me from them, and thankfully this song can. Plus it’s not like this song needs good lyrics anyway, I get the feeling the focus is more on the beat and instrumental more than anything. And luckily I’m a sucker for that.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal ranking (out of 67):  7th

2005- My Number One

Country: Greece

Artist: Helena Paparizou

Language: English

Thoughts: I’ll give you “My Number One crawled so Fuego could run”, more like My Number One won so Fuego could pull up the rear in second place behind a song full of chicken noises. But I’m getting ahead of myself. This song I feel is the one which really popularised that… certain brand of Eurovision song. The female-led, east Meditteranean origin, “Yas queen slay” brand of Eurovision song. Yanno. The true gay bar song. Which is, as I said earlier, not really a genre I like nor care for. Do I like this song? Eh. Kinda. I can’t really bring myself to hate it, since I have some good memories associated with it, but... … Well, I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it, put it that way. It feels kind of aggressive, and not in a way I’m all that comfortable with. The way she snarls that she’ll “get vicious” if her love isn’t reciprocated especially doesn’t sit right with me. Like I don’t want to be a That Guy™ who says people would get offended if a man sang that line, but it still puts me off a bit.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Hungary- NOX- “Forogj, Viláj!”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 36th

2006- Hard Rock Hallelujah

Country: Finland

Artist: Lordi

Language: English

Thoughts: My mother always asks me “how did this win?” And I always tell her, “Well it’s been nearly 15 years since it won and you still remember it, so clearly it left an impact on people.” So, obviously, this is a gimmicky entry; without the giant monster costumes I highly doubt this would’ve even qualified, let alone won with what was then a record-breaking score. After all, rock/metal songs don’t tend to fare well at this contest. Even with the drunk European public in full control of the vote, most of them are lucky to even make it onto the left side of the scoreboard, and getting into the top ten? Forget it. It's too niche of a genre for it to have broad appeal, especially given how a lot of viewers (in my experience at least) DO tend to be older and more conservative, shall we say.  Now, I'm not an expert on rock or metal myself, so I can't really say whether this is a good representation of the genre or whether this is what outsiders THINK it's like, but even to my untrained ear this does sound very tongue-in-cheek. Like I don’t want to go so far as to say this is a parody of metal music, but it definitely doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously. The song, I mean. Apparently the band is very serious about their monster aesthetic; but I digress. That said, I do have a soft spot for whatever sub-genre of metal this is, so I don’t mind this one in the slightest. 

Is this my personal winner for this year? This or Croatia

If no, what is? Croatia- Séverina- “Moja Stikla”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 30th

2007: Molitva

Country: Serbia

Artist: Marija Serifovic

Language: Serbian (Translation: “Prayer”)

Thoughts: Ah, this one takes me back. This was one of the first Eurovision songs I remember truly falling in love with way back in 2013. I must’ve been about 16 or 17 at the time, heavily into dark, edgy music, and this song was just pure heaven for me. Ticked all the right boxes. It’s dark, it’s brooding, it’s sultry, the vocals are stellar, the lyrics are incredible; like, I wanted the title of this song tattooed on my wrist, I loved it so damn much, I just wanted to declare to the world that I loved this song. But that was then, how do I feel about it today? Obviously not the same, tastes evolve over time and after a while I wasn’t so easily suckered into this song’s spell like I used to be. But at the same time, I can’t deny that this is a fantastic song across the board, and one I still like despite it being my edgy favourite from back when my taste in music was terrible. Plus this is also the best-sung song of the 2000s, but that’s like being the tallest person in a room full of toddlers.

Is this my personal winner for this year? Yes

If no, what is? N/A

Personal Ranking (out of 67): 3rd

2008: Believe

Country: Russia

Artist: Dima Bilan

Language: English

Thoughts: Ah yes. The song that finally made Terry Wogan quit after 30 years of “commentating”. The song that proved to the people of the UK once and for all that the contest was rigged to favour certain countries and that countries in western Europe would never win again. Was it worth it? Not really, but I’m not complaining.  Now, I don't like Wogan's commentary at all, but really? This song? This is the straw that broke the camel’s back? This song isn’t bad per se, it’s just… Very underwhelming. And outdated. Like I can smell the 2000s off this one and it smells like Lynx body spray and hair gel. It's stuck in that awkward phase where it's too old to be cool, but not old enough to be retro, and it’s forever doomed to be a product of its time. It’s just an average, generic, “I have a dream and I can achieve it” pseudo-ballad; nothing outstanding or special. The performance feels very stale and formulaic too. The only way to describe it is it’s what I imagine an American person would THINK a winning Eurovision song would be like based on what they get told by their European pen pals. Dated music, hot Russian men, over the top presentation, like this just reeks of what outsiders (or British people, for that matter) think Eurovision is made of. On a different note, mediocre and dated as this song may be, I can still kinda see how it won (and no, it has nothing to do with Russia’s international relationships). Dima himself is a very… unique performer; one who performs with the questionable energy of an overexcitable children’s YouTuber, and his dramatic and exaggerated movements make this whole performance a bit of a blast to watch. But that doesn’t really save how painfully bland the song is.

Is this my personal winner for this year? No

If no, what is? Latvia- Pirates- "Wolves of the Sea"

Personal ranking (out of 67): 48th

2009: Fairytale

Country: Norway

Artist: Alexander Rybak

Language: English

Thoughts: I’m not going to lie, my feelings towards this song are incredibly mixed. There’s a lot of appeal here, with wild violin solos, swooping vocals and a pounding beat, as well as a very singalongable chorus; like, this is a good, solid song. But… something here just doesn’t gel with me. This, to me, is one of those “good by default” songs that’s a solid ‘A’ across the board, but something’s just… missing for me. There’s not enough here for me to go out of my way to download and listen to this on a regular basis. It's in the same boat as “Waterloo” in that I don't dislike it, because it’s still a good song, but I can't say I like it either, because it’s such a default "best Eurovision song”, so I can’t sincerely say I like it. Am I making sense? Probably not. But basically my thoughts are “it’s good, but it’s not my kind of good.”

Is this my personal winner for this year? Ehhhhhh

If no, what is? Germany- Alex Swings, Oscar Sings- “Miss Kiss Kiss Bang”

Personal ranking (out of 67): 29th

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 105 - 101

105. Mariya Yaremchuk - “Tick tock” Ukraine 2014

Conform with the “GODDESSES ONLY” clause of their Eurovision contract, Ukraine once again have blessed us with an amazing opener (Seriously. First Melovin, then Eduard, now this? WE WERE ROBBED OF MARUV OPENING THE FINALE). 

"Tick tock” is a bit too elementary to put into my top 100, HOWEVER that is also why it’s such an easy song to get into. High (production-)quality Ukranian trashpop 😍 Which won Vidbir as an unintentional incest anthem 😍 (if you don’t know, the original version opened with “We belonged to each other, like a sister to a brother” Cersei Lannister is quaking.) 

Naturally, the main reason why Mariya ranks this high is, of course, the staging. THE HAMSTER WHEEL IS LEGENDARY:

Mariya casually flinging herself on top of that giant spinning contraption and torturing her poor hot dancer. 😍 I’d say the staging makes no sense, but then I realized Ukraine probably went with this act because it’s DIRT CHEAP <3 (which is funny as long as you don’t think about why they went with a lowbudget act 😭). It’s just so... honorarily Moldovan? 😍 Ukraine and Moldova using each other as horcruxes <3 Name a more epic ESC alliance, I will wait. Until then,

________________________________________________________________

104. Sanja Vucic - “Goodbye (Shelter)” Serbia 2016

... let us celebrate this glorious cross-over between “Molitva”, “Running” and “l’Amore è femmina”. 😍 “Shelter” takes the best aspects from these three entries and combines them into a increasedly shouty mess. As you can imagine, I LOVE this witches’ cabal of hackneyed hand choreos, shredded leather and facial gymnastics. Most ESC performers would keep their miming to the precise amount of what they need, but Sanja is (and has always been) so UNPLUGGED with her irate facial expressions. A reel:

Which, in a song with such a HEAVY topic as spousal abuse is actually quite appropriate. You show those awful shit husbands, girl!!! 

And you’d think that would be *IT*, but nope you’re wrong because :TEEHEE: I also think “Shelter” is a great song even without the messy misandry. The song is catchy, moody and highly relistenable. It’s one of the better mid-tier bops of this ranking. No wonder it got televotes from all over Euro-

oh. (🤣)

CONGRATZ BOJANA ON BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED SERBIAN ENTRY.

________________________________________________________________

103. Alyona Lanskaya - “Solayoh” Belarus 2013

HI 🙂 MY NAME IS ALYONA LANSKAYA 🙂 I AM FROM BELARUS 🙂 MY SONG SOLAYOH.  🙂

2013 is mostly remembered as the year of ‘splicing unnecessary dubstep into your song’, but there is another recurring trend which was even better. The ‘female performer enters the stage with STYLE’ and as far as stylistic entrances go, Alyona’s is one of the best. This emissary  from the planet Solayoh emerged immediately from her discoball-shaped Escape pod upon landing to tell us all the love and joys of her homeworld 😍

What follows is a lametastic banality anthem, riddled with ESL sentences (”We can make it into hot night” 😍.) and of course, a few iconic hand choreographies:

Topping off the hilarity is the idea of a well-off socialite such as Alyona Lanskaya singing about how “she had work hard all day :lip pout:” while wiggling her dress’s cerulean bossom fringes. 😍😂 Bribing juror being such hard work. <3 We stan lazy queens. 😍

________________________________________________________________

102. Sofi Marinova - “Love unlimited” Bulgaria 2012

DO REN DEM DEM DEI 

Speaking of lazy queens, remember when Bulgaria send an act that consisted entirely of a haggard ponytailed garuda wiggling her diddeys around like-a-so: 

I’m only a recent convert to the Church of Marinova, only seeing the light during my last rewatch and I mean, how could I not fall in love eventually? “Love unlimited” is such a lowbudget afair, a basic dance track whose sole gimmick is saying “I love you” in like 46 different languages. 😍 

As such, "Love unlimited” totally shouldn’t work... and yet it absolutely does? It’s a similar deal to Jurij, except the person taking the stage here is a lovably dimwitted middle-aged hagress who is completely oblivious to the fact that she has no chance to qualify and is giving still giving it her damn’ all, in doing so ALMOST reaching the final from a lost position. WHAT A TROOPER. I LOVE *YOU* SO MUCH, Sofi-Trophy. 😍

________________________________________________________________

101. Conan Osiris - “Telemóveis” Portugal 2019

A lot of people blame several artistic decisions behinds Conan’s NQ, but I’ve had my doubts even before the rehearsals began: this is what I wrote a full month before the semi: 

Conan’s main problems rise from the fact that he tries to be artistic and humorous at the same time, and the two cancel each other out somewhat.

(...) There’s a very high chance “Telemóveis” highbrow message will  fly over the heads of the audience and there’s an equally high chance it will backfire on Conan when it does. 

Portugal faces severe competition from the other acts. They compete with Slovenia for the “This Is High Quality” value-seeking vote, with Iceland and Australia for the novely vote and with Czech Republic and Greece for the “yeah this is actually really fucking clever” highbrow vote. He even competes with Serhat somehwat, both being OTT acts that are on later in the semi. 

It could very well mean death by a thousand cuts for Portugal.

SURPRISE, I actually got it right for once!! 

Of course, “Telemóveis” was less good in Tel Aviv than it was during FdC (people incorrecly blame the dress. I personally thought it was a combination of nerves, João spraining his knee and technical difficulties, much more than the dress). 

Anyway, even if he wasn’t as good in Tel Aviv, a lesser “Telemóveis” is still pretty damn great so idk why everyone was is tripping? The song was still a disarmingly weird acid trip of fado funk, snappy vocals and a bonkers choreography that left the average viewer utterly GOBSMACKED. 😍 It’s one of those entries where, when looking back in a few years, everyone will say was way AHEAD of the curve and that’s never a bad demograph to be a part of. 

CONGRATZ SUZY ON WINNING PORTUGAL!!! But moreover,

CONGRATULATIONS TOP 100!!!! K time for a little recap of who is still in this ranking:

Albania: 2 (Juliana, Eugent) Armenia: 2 (Aram, Iveta) Australia: 1 (KMH) Austria: 2 (Conchita, Zoë) Azerbaijan: 2 (Farid, DiHaj) Belarus: 3 (Litesound, IVAN, NAVIBAND) Belgium: 4 (Tom Dice, Loic, Laura Tesoro, Blanche) Bosnia & Herzegovina: 1 (Dino Merlin) Bulgaria: 3 (Elitsa & Stoyan, both Poli’s) Croatia: 0 Cyprus: 2 (Minus One, Eleni) Czech Republic: 1 (Lake Malawi) Denmark: 1 (Rasmussen) Estonia: 5 (Malcolm Lincoln, Ott, Birgit, Stigelina, Elina Netchayeva) Finland: 4 (Kuukuiskaajat, Krista, Softengine, Norma John) France: 3 (Jessy, Madame Monsieur, Amir) Georgia: 4 (Sopho N., Shin&Mariko, Nina S., Nika) Germany: 2 (Lena 2.0, Michael) Greece: 2 (Giorgos, Koza Mostra) Hungary: 4 (Kati, Andras, Joci 1.0, AWS) Iceland: 3 (Hera, Greta 2.0, Hatari) Ireland: 1 (Molly) Israel: 3 (Nadav, Hovi, Imri) Italy: 4 (Emma, Francesca, Francesco, Mahmood) Latvia: 3 (Aarzemnieki, Aminata, Justs) Lithuania: 2 (Fusedmarc, Ieva) Macedonia: 1 (Jana) Malta 2: (Gianluca, Michela) Moldova: 4 (Pasha, Aliona, Sunstroke 2.0, DoReDoS) Montenegro: 1 (Who See & Nina Z.) the Netherlands: 4 (Joan, Anouk, Common Linnets, Duncan) Norway: 2 (JOWST, KEiiNO) Poland: 1 (Cleo) Portugal: 1 (Suzy) Romania: 1 (Paula & Ovi 1.0) Russia: 1 (Polina) San Marino: 1 (Crisalide) Serbia: 1 (Bojana) Slovakia: 0 Slovenia: 5 (Maja, Tinkara, Maraaya, Lea, ZalaGasper) Spain: 2 (Ruth, Miki) Sweden: 2 (Loreen, Måns) Switzerland: 3 (Sebalter, ZiBBZ, Luca) Turkey: 1 (maNga) Ukraine: 2 (Zlata, Jamala) United Kingdom: 1 (Lucie)

LINK TO THE FULL LIST SO FAR (IMGUR)

[eurovosion]

 some thoughts on this year’s entries

or i guess just a ranking with comments tacked on

albania - this year’s nf season was a let down for me, partly because a lot of the winning songs weren’t the best on offer, and partly because albania picked first and nothing could live up to it. i love the depth this has, the dark, almost tribal vibes, and most of all i love how they didn’t fuck up the revamp like they usually do. if this is staged correctly, i think this could do really well. 10/10

greece - i feel like this has been overlooked in the wider fandom, which is odd because greek entries are usually pretty polarising, for better or for worse. regardless, i really like this. it’s atmospheric, powerful as hell, and katerine is more than capable of nailing it live. don’t count greece out just yet! 9.5/10

portugal - festival da canção was easily the best nf this year and the portuguese public picked wisely. telemóveis is such an intriguing song with a really curious sound, so traditional yet so modern at the same time. i’m not 100% on the staging, but they have time to figure it out. 9.5/10

spain - la venda wasn’t the song i was rooting for in the selection (rip todo bien, never forgotten) but i’m fully on board with it now. this works so well with a big audience, and you just know that the crowd will be on his side. if this doesn’t go top 10 at the very least i’ll be stunned. 9/10

cyprus - this is just as instant as fuego for me. not sure if tamta will do as well as eleni, but the cypriot delegation has definitely found their winning formula. 9/10

malta - malta is not fucking around this year. this is a verified banger, and their best entry in years, perhaps their best ever. take as many youtube ads as you want, michela, you deserve them. 8.5/10

azerbaijan - without a doubt, azerbaijan is back with a vengeance. you can tell they’re determined to set the record straight and prove that last year was just a blip, because this is great and hopefully the live performance reflects that. 8.5/10

denmark - i really should hate this, but i can’t. it’s so innocent and cheerily optimistic in a way that i can only be jealous of whilst humming along to the chorus. this deserves to do well. 8/10

italy - it took me a little while to warm up to soldi, but once i finally got there i really started to appreciate it. i don’t think it’s a winner, but it’s a very good song, and in the end that’s all that matters. 8/10

san marino - yes, serhat is in my top 10, and what of it? you only wish your fave could write a song in ten minutes and have it go off like this. and yes, if he doesn’t qualify you’ll catch me openly sobbing in the streets for weeks. 8/10

switzerland - an unabashed bop with some actual choreography, but lacking lyrically. then again, so was fuego and that popped off live. he’s also working with the same stage director as eleni, which can only be good news for him. 7.5/10

the netherlands - don’t get me wrong, it’s a very polished song and i’m sure duncan’s great but like... is that it? this is the big fan favourite? i’m very whelmed. 7.5/10

armenia - i was expecting something like yete karogh es from srbuk, so this came completely out of left field in the best way possible. i thought we’d lost our token edgy pop song when ukraine dropped out, but armenia saved us at the last minute. the only thing i’m worried about are her vocals, because, from what i’ve seen, she isn’t the most confident performer. 7/10

serbia - another respectable but ultimately pretty safe pick from serbia this year. nevena has a really strong voice and she sells the song well, so i think she’ll avoid another moje 3 style placement. 7/10

germany - first of all, aly ryan was robbed. secondly, thank god the surprise song didn’t win. thirdly, this is alright. nothing spectacular, but it’s cute and the spinning stage was a great stylistic choice. 7/10

latvia - thank you latvia for letting this win and rejecting markus riva’s basic ass for the sixth year in a row WHEW i really love the whole atmosphere that surrounds this. barring a miracle, however, i don’t think it’ll qualify, but it’s still a good attempt. 6.5/10

sweden - i don’t think it’s john’s most solid composition, but it’s a decent entry nevertheless and it’s nice to see sweden picking an entry that isn’t generic pop again. 6.5/10

united kingdom - my only faint glimmer of national pride so far this year is that we managed to pick the only good song from the flaming garbage pile that was our nf. yeah, the lyrics are redundant and it’s a ballad by numbers, but michael gives it his all and it really pays off. 6.5/10

ireland - this will absolutely not do well but who cares, it’s fun and harmless. super chill and easy to listen, and i think sarah’s a big eurovision fan already which is nice. also i’d just like to take this opportunity to thank her for ditching the ylva and linda song she originally applied with. 6.5/10

iceland - hm. this is one where you need to listen a few times to get a full impression of what the fuck you’re hearing/seeing. i really did not like this when i first heard it alongside all the other söngvakeppnin songs (and most of them sucked lbr), but now i’m kind of ambivalent towards it. i still don’t like the screaming or the key change, but it’s something different and i can admire that. 6/10

slovenia - fine, but forgettable. she has a nice voice, but there’s a distinct lack of stage presence from the two of them and i fear that this might get lost in the semi final. 6/10

israel - i’m conflicted here. i definitely don’t think home is as bad as the fan polls and reviews imply, but it’s not great either. a verse or two in hebrew would have really elevated this and i’m a little baffled as to why the writers didn’t include even a little bit considering the contest is on home turf this year. still, kobi’s a very convincing performer and israel probably didn’t want to win again anyway. 6/10

poland - this is an odd one, which isn’t a bad thing at all in a year full of safe entries. not sure if using the bilingual version was the best shout, but it’s clearly still very polish and i’m glad to hear that they’ll be wearing the traditional clothing on stage in tel aviv. 6/10

czech republic - the chorus absolutely slaps, and if i was judging by music alone this’d probably be in my top ten. unfortunately, though, the rest of the song exists. the lyrics are truly abysmal, with some of the lines ending awkwardly and without proper rhymes where they’re needed, and the spoken-word section is genuinely unbearable. 5.5/10

austria - i honestly don’t know where to place this one. very underwhelming when it was first released, but now i feel like there’s potential here. most of austria’s recent entries have been very under the radar only to end up doing quite well. i’m not as optimistic about this as some of those, but only time will tell. 5.5/10

hungary - not a patch on his previous entry, but pleasant enough. he’s a good performer and unless the staging really sucks, he’ll do fine. 5.5/10

north macedonia - it’s a nice ballad? i guess? and, unlike a lot of their recent entrants, tamara is an established singer who we all know can sing live. there are also rumours that the delegation has been planning the performance for a while, so who knows, perhaps this’ll qualify. 5/10

georgia - this has been growing on me lately. the song itself is a bit of a bust, although the revamp helped, but oto really brings it to life on stage. even if you don’t understand what he’s saying, you can tell by the emotion in his voice that he really means it. 5/10

russia - the nightmare dream team hasn’t produced a good song in over a decade at this point, this included. kirkorov needs to quit fooling himself and let someone else have a go. 4.5/10

belgium - belgium’s had quite the glow up since 2014, but i fear they’ve gone for style over substance this year. wake up is very polished, but it doesn’t go anywhere and eliot’s live performances haven’t been convincing as of yet. 4/10

lithuania - i don’t know what was more shocking, him winning the selection or me finding out that he was lolita zero’s real voice in 2017. this isn’t awful, just very repetitive and strangely put together. 3.5/10

norway - sue me, i don’t like this. the bald guy feels out of place and out of tune, it sounds like it was written by a child, and oh my god it’s so unbearably cheap. 3/10 

estonia - eesti laul was such a let down this year. usually there’s a good mix of mainstream and alternative genres, but the new producer doesn’t seem to give a shit about variety, which is a real shame. anyway, victor’s performance is slick, but he can barely sing and the song itself is nothing to write home about. 3/10

romania - when this was first selected i didn’t mind it, probably because i just really didn’t want laura bretan to win, but as the season drags on i’ve really soured to it. it feels like it lasts for a minute longer than it actually does, and the whole ay-ay-ay part was not a good choice. 2.5/10

australia - as someone who was a big fan of estonia last year, this is honestly the furthest thing from that. it comes across as quite cheap (even without the questionable staging), and the chorus really grates on me. 2.5/10

belarus - i didn’t watch the entirety of the belarusian auditions for them to reject the potato monks in favour of lidl’s own brand zara larsson. 2/10

france - this is why delegations should be wary of selecting social media stars for their national selections. yes, they might get the viewing figures up a little, but they’ll probably win and the song will be Bad. i respect his message, but holy shit is this hamfisted as hell. 1/10

finland - if anyone was wondering how darude only ever had one hit two decades ago, here is your answer. 1/10

moldova - they really don’t want to qualify this year, huh. could’ve had ca adriano celentano, but nope. basic tune, painfully simple lyrics, but i guess her voice is nice enough 1/10

croatia - this... is awful. upsettingly so. at least jacques’ last entry had a novelty factor, but he’s doomed this poor kid to failure. 0.5/10

montenegro - i have absolutely nothing positive to say here. honest to god one of the worst songs i’ve ever heard, and no amount of clumsily shoehorned in folk instrumentation was ever going to save this. i can only pray that they’re spending their preparation time wisely and taking singing lessons, but considering that they probably blew half the budget on the music video, it’s unlikely. 0/10

as for potential winners,  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a lot of the big fan favourites don’t have a winning vibe about them, so we might be in for a shock this year. please let it be albania or greece

also feel free to drop me an ask if you want to chat about last year’s entries since i kind of ditched tumblr for a year or two lmao

[mexicaneurolover]

Eurovision 2009 my top 42

Hello, and welcome to another episode of this ESC top series, and I go back to May 12, 14 and 16, 2009, when the 54th edition of the contest was held in Moscow, Russia, after Dima Bilan’s victory in Belgrade last year. 42 countries took part, while San Marino withdrew and Georgia was disqualified because of a breach of the contest rules, Slovakia returned to the contest after their last showing in 1998. This year is known as the one when the juries returned, making 50% of the final score together with the televote, this year it was only implemented on the final, but in next years they were introduced on the semis as well. The contest was won by Norway and Alexander Rybak with the song Fairytale, making this their 3rd win overall and also he set a record number of points and a record for the most 12 points, so it was a very smashing victory. Also the stage was so stunning and big, I love that stage so much. And now, let’s review the songs!

1st Place: NORWAY/Alexander Rybak-Fairytale (Real Placing: 1st-387 points)

This guy has one of my favorite songs of all time, and it’s timeless, the music is so pretty, the lyrics resume my love life and he’s so cute, the performance is a truly fairytale and after many listens throughout the years, I never get tired of it. 

2nd Place: FRANCE/Patricia Kaas-Et si’l fallait le faire (Real Placing: 8th-107 points) 

This is such a masterpiece, her voice is so wonderful, I’m in love with it and her pronunciation, the music is like something out of a French movie, and it’s stunning, the performance is perfect and she’s such a classy singer. A lot of passion and feeling in this song, 

3rd Place: ICELAND/Yohanna-Is it true? (Real Placing: 2nd-218 points)

Well, this song is so heartbreaking because of the lyrics, her voice is so good, the performance is cute with that dress and the background, the music is so pretty and it’s a very enjoyable song, such a precious ballad and Yohanna is so beautiful as well. This in 2010 would’ve been better, sadly, that’s just a fairytale, and she was beaten by a fairytale as well. 

4th Place: UNITED KINGDOM/Jade Ewen-It’s my time (Real Placing: 5th-173 points) 

A magical ballad out of a Broadway musical, her voice is simply angelic, the music is stunning, beautiful, the staging is gorgeous, she’s beautiful and it’s the best UK entry of the decade for me. This has a very nice building and it finished with class and elegance. Simply beautiful. 

5th Place: AZERBAIJAN/AySel & Arash-Always (Real Placing: 3rd-207 points)

This is what I call an Azerbaijani song, this mends the damage they did to myself last year, this song is catchy, modern, dancy, it’s such a perfect song and it has ethnic sounds as well. They sing nice, the performance is so wonderful and I’m in love with it. 

6th Place: ESTONIA/Urban Symphony-Rändajad (Real Placing: 6th-129 points)

This is one of the songs I use to concentrate before my studies, the music is so magical, her voice is so beautiful and calm, it’s like a fairy, the staging is pretty and wow, I always feel out of this dimension with this song, it’s so relaxing as well. It’s one of the best Estonian entries in the world. 

7th Place: SWEDEN/Malena Ernman-La voix (Real Placing: 21st-33 points)

LA VOIIIIIIIIIIX, this lady is such a charming person, her smile is pretty and the song is so good, it’s one of my fave songs from Sweden of the late 00′s and her voice is such a delight to listen. The music is so schlager and that’s what makes me love it. Her dress is so beautiful and yeah, Sweden was underrated that year. 

8th Place: TURKEY/Hadise-Düm tek tek (Real Placing: 4th-177 points)

Wow, this song has an ethnic style to it and Hadise is such a perfect singer, also she’s stunning, the performance is everything and the düm tek tek part is very catchy and I enjoy it so much, I loved it since the first time I heard it and wow, it’s charming. 

9th Place: SPAIN/Soraya Arnelas-La noche es para mí (Real Placing: 24th-23 points)

Oh come on, this song is very good and finished second last, the music is enchanting, her voice is good, wish I could say the same to the backing singers, but it’s a nice song, the lyrics are good, and the performance is okay, surely this is a very catchy song. 

10th Place: ARMENIA/Inga & Anush-Jan jan (Real Placing: 10th-92 points)

Armenia again serving quality, this entry has a lot of ethnic sounds, the dancing is perfect, they sing so well together and this feels like something out of the desert, the staging is so clever and effective and it’s such a lovely song, JAN JAN 

11th Place: GREECE/Sakis Rouvas-This is our night (Real Placing: 7th-120 points)

Again the Greek god is back, and with an amazing song as his last attempt in 2004, not the result he wanted but this song is so good, I love the music because it’s very modern for the time and the performance was so good and epic. 

12th Place: ISRAEL/Noa & Mira Awad-There must be another way (Real Placing: 16th-53 points) 

A very powerful song with a deep meaning, these ladies surely have nice harmonies and the music is so beautiful, also ARABIC AGAIN IN ESC, it’s so nice. I enjoy so much the bridge before the last part, it’s simply stunning. 

13th Place: PORTUGAL/Flor-de-lis-Todas as ruas do amor (Real Placing: 15th-57 points) 

A cheerful and happy song, also the stage is so colorful and beautiful, her voice is calm and sweet and that makes the song so enjoyable, the music is so stunning and it’s one of the most calm songs ever. 

14th Place: MALTA/Chiara-What if we (Real Placing: 22nd-31 points)

Aww Chiara is back for a third time, and even if I think this is her weakest song, it has a lot of beauty and the music is so perfect and good, her voice is, as always, stunning and out of this world and she’s the only one that can fill a big stage with only a beautiful voice.  

15th Place: MONTENEGRO/Andrea Demirović-Just get out of my life (Real Placing: 11th SF1-44 points) 

Why this failed to qualify, the music is so good, her voice is amazing and the performance is simple but charming and effective, I always dance to this one and IMO one of the best Montenegrin entries on the contest. 

16th Place: BELARUS/Petr Elfimov-Eyes that never lie (Real Placing: 13th SF1-25 points) 

Another epic and nice rock song, his voice is so cool and the music is so powerful and inspiring, the performance is amazing and full of lights, also THAT STEADICAM SHOT IS EPIC AND PERFECT. It’s one of my favorite songs that year and IMO this deserved the final, but there were many amazing songs. 

17th Place: MOLDOVA/Nelly Ciobanu-Hora din Moldova (Real Placing: 14th-69 points) 

SUCH AN ENERGETIC SONG AND I LOVE IT, her voice is such a pleasant trip, the performance is happy and catchy and the music is perfect, one of my favorite Moldovan songs ever. This makes me want to go to Moldova and dance there. 

18th Place: ROMANIA/Elena-The Balkan girls (Real Placing: 19th-40 points)

Wow, this song is so nice, it has a fresh feeling to it and the music has nice elements, also she has a nice voice, it’s a very cute song and I love the Balkan girls.  

19th Place: FINLAND/Waldo’s People-Lose control (Real Placing: 25th-22 points/last) 

Why this finished last? I love this song so much, but maybe I love more the studio version, the performance here is so cool and I love the projections. Their voices are good but not the best, but the music is so epic and I like it. An undeserved last place. 

20th Place: CROATIA/Igor Cukrov & Andrea-Lijepa tena (Real Placing: 18th-45 points)

Hey Igor... I mean, this is a very lovely song, the music is so charming and he has a very nice voice, also Andrea is a very talented singer and I’m so amazed by this song, at first I thought it was boring but now I like it, such a nice entry. 

21st Place: ALBANIA/Kejsi Tola-Carry me in your dreams (Real Placing: 17th-48 points) 

The music here is one of the best things ever from Albania, I enjoy it so much, her voice is so special and the performance is quite weird but I like it, I’m hypnotized by that bridge and also, I feel so guilty because this is very low on my top. 

22nd Place: UKRAINE/Svetlana Loboda-Be my valentine (Real Placing: 12th-76 points)

SVETLANA <3 she’s so stunning, the music is so nice, it’s so powerful and memorable, also her voice is so good and the performance is quite weird because there were many things happening at the same time, still, I like this song and it’s one of the entries that I always remember from this year. 

23rd Place: GERMANY/Alex Swings, Oscar Sings-Miss Kiss Kiss Bang (Real Placing: 20th-35 points)  

One of my guiltiest pleasures ever, this entry has everything, a nice singer, the performance is so pretty and cool, the music has a mix of classic elements and modern touches and Oscar is cute. I don’t know why but I can’t stay still while listening to this song. 

24th Place: BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA/Regina-Bistra voda (Real Placing: 9th-106 points)

THE INTRO OMG <3 it’s so good, the music is so relaxing and beautiful, his voice is so amazing and it’s a very nice entry, love the Balkan elements and everything here blends perfectly. I’m so mesmerized by this song, and I feel so bad because of putting this so low. 

25th Place: ANDORRA/Susanne Georgi-La teva decisió (Get a life) (Real Placing: 15th SF1-8 points)   

This song is so good, the music is charming, her voice is very nice and the whole package is so pleasant to hear, I’m so happy because of this song, it’s so nostalgic as well and sadly this is the last Andorran song to date, which is a shame because they were very good. 

26th Place: CYPRUS/Christina Metaxa-Firefly (Real Placing: 14th SF2-32 points) 

Another lovely and cute ballad, she’s so beautiful and cute, the music is subtle and the performance is beautiful, her voice could’ve been better and the last part it’s so epic, I love this song as well. 

27th Place: POLAND/Lidia Kopania-I don’t wanna leave (Real Placing: 12th SF2-43 points) 

A lovely ballad, her voice is so stunning, as well as the performance, the music is so cool and wow, I’m in love with her, this is a beautiful song and I’m in love with this song as well. 

28th Place: SLOVENIA/Quartissimo feat. Martina-Love symphony (Real Placing: 16th SF2-14 points) 

The music here is so cute and lovely, which makes the 80% of the song and I like it, maybe her voice was a bit off key here, and it’s very sad because it could’ve lifted this song to the sky, overall this entry is very enjoyable and I can imagine it being played live instead of a backing track. 

29th Place: RUSSIA/Anastasiya Prikhodko-Mamo (Real Placing: 11th-91 points)

WHAT A VOICE DOES SHE HAS, the music is so deep and the meaning of the song is very sad but I like it, the performance is quite creepy but it’s effective, I can’t place it higher because I like more other 28 songs. Also Ukranian on a Russian song... interesting. 

30th Place: DENMARK/Niels Brinck-Believe again (Real Placing: 13th-74 points)   

This entry isn’t bad, but I’m not so fond of it, also this reminds me of another song, his voice is quite good and the music is nice, sadly I can’t connect with it and it’s a bit flat though. 

31st Place: SERBIA/Marko Kon and Milaan-Cipela (Real Placing: 10th SF2-60 points)  

Oh this is such an interesting song, his voice is so deep but enjoyable, the music is lovely and catchy, also the performance is so colorful and cool, it’s one of my guilty pleasures ever. 

32nd Place: SWITZERLAND/Lovebugs-The highest heights (Real Placing: 14th SF1-15 points)  

This is a very lovely song, the music is cool, but the voice of the lead singer could’ve been better, also the staging is stunning, it’s one of the songs I can’t decide properly which place will it be on my top, I like it. 

33rd Place: IRELAND/Sinéad Mulvey and Black Daisy-Et cetera (Real Placing: 11th SF2-52 points)

Awwww pure nostalgia, this song is like the music I heard those years, her voice is good and the music is so perfect, but still I struggle to remember this song at all. 

34th Place: HUNGARY/Zoli Ádok-Dance with me (Real Placing: 15th SF2-16 points)

Oh of course I’ll dance with you.. ehem... well this song is interesting, the disco sounds are nice but his voice could’ve been better, also that outfit it’s quite hideous, not one of Hungary’s best attempts ever.  

35th Place: FYR MACEDONIA/Next Time-Nešto što kje ostane (Real Placing: 10th SF1-45 points)

This is a very decent song, but I can’t remember it instantly, I love the music and the voice of the lead singer is good, still, I think this needed a better hook. A nice average rock song. 

36th Place: THE NETHERLANDS/The Toppers-Shine (Real Placing: 17th SF2-11 points)

A entry with potential ruined by a mediocre beat and the performance isn’t very good.They could’ve been better. The only thing I remember about this one is the DJ behind because it’s adorable. The rest... meh.  

37th Place: LITHUANIA/Sasha Son-Love (Real Placing: 23rd-23 points)  

I see why this is a nice song, the music is lovely and the verses are good, but the chorus ruins this song, also it’s a bit boring after many listens and that makes me feel sad about this one. 

38th Place: CZECH REPUBLIC/Gipsy.cz-Aven romale (Real Placing: 18th SF1-0 points/last)

This entry is funny? The music is interesting and the staging is very good, sadly I’m missing something in this one and turns annoying after a while into it, his clothes are lovely, I want that costume so badly. 

39th Place: LATVIA/Intars Busulis-Probka (Real Placing: 19th SF2-7 points/last)

This performance is the proof you need to never drink energy drinks before hitting the stage, the music is interesting and the chorus is very good, but the verses ruin this and overall makes this entry messy and weird. 

40th Place: SLOVAKIA/Kamil Mikulčík and Nela Pocisková-Let’ tmou (Real Placing: 18th SF2-8 points) 

A sad return for Slovakia, the music is charming, but I’m not fond of her voice so much because I think it’s a bit annoying and screamish, also I think that the chorus has a messy melody and progression, that doesn’t match the verses. 

41st Place: BELGIUM/Copycat-Copycat (Real Placing: 17th SF1-1 point)

Oh an Elvis tribute, but sadly this is a bit bad actually, the music is quite good but this didn’t work on stage, because it felt empty and cheap, his voice is nice, but I can’t put this entry higher. 

42nd Place: BULGARIA/Krassimir Avramov-Illusion (Real Placing: 16th SF1-7 points)

Oh this song is a complete mess from top to bottom, the voices are very bad, the music sounds a bit cheap and the staging is so weird, I always want to forget this song because it’s very bad, nothing here connects with me. 

[anotherescsite]

Eurovision 2018 recap

I have been sick so I haven’t posted much over the last few days. 

Congratulations first to Portugal for having a well presented, well shot Eurovision. Their staging was plain to allow music to shine, but also to allow each country to add whatever they needed. Boy did they add things. The postcards were exceptional in showing Portugal and showing the artists. The hostess’ could have been cut to two and worked as well. Differing opinion on which should have stayed; Filomina and Catarina would have worked best for me.

Congratulations to Israel for winning. I was scared that she wouldn’t pull it off after some odd rehearsals, but she did. Her eccentric proposal of a song shined brightly with the viewers and it had a decent message.

But here it goes.in ranking order:

* Israel wins for the 4th time. Co-incidentally they seem to win every twenty years: 1978, 1998, 2018. 1979 was the oddity.

* Runner-up Cyprus: well done for being being the highest scorer ever.  Hurt by the juries. Televoters gave it a clear second place.

* The surprise for me this year was Austria. I thought it would finish near the bottom. I don’t know anything clearly. Juries loved it. Congrats to them.

* Germany showed that a fine quiet song can do well. It was the sleeper cell of the draw.

* Italy completed the top 5 and rightly so. Beaten by the Germans to top placed big 5 country, but good showing all round.

* Czech Republic exceeded all their countries records and this record may stand for a long time. I am so glad he did his gymnastics at the end of his performance.

* Another good showing for Sweden coming second with the juries. The televoters let them down big time, but it was a tough contest.

* The voice and dress of the evening, Estonia should have done better considering the vocals and the dress (money).

* Denmark is another of the songs that I did not expect to do very well. But it looked good in the final and people clearly appreciated it.

* The wardrobe with Moldova and their well choreographed performance deserved every single point they received. Good concept, clever and fun.

* How fantastic is it that Albania came 11th? I had doubt that it would qualify because the viewers wouldn’t get it. They got it.

* Similarly Lithuania showed that a simple song sung in a simple way can earn points too. 

* Good showing for France also. The image of the audience all doing the Mercy wave was a sight.

* Bulgaria was never my favourite song, but they gave a good performance and deserve the placing they received.

* The former winner landed in 15th place. Norway had a decent performance, but it’s the same performance as that at NRK. Not sure what more they could have done.

* Ireland provided a well performed entry that deserved more points than they received. 

* Coming last in the jury score must have been a shock for the Ukraine. I was mildly surprised by this. The televoters helped get them a decent score.

* The former runner-up, the Netherlands, took 18th place which was a fall from grace. We remember what you did to the Common Linnets, you bum. lol

* For an entry that no one expected to qualify, I’m happy with Serbia’s outcome. I liked it and it probably deserved more points.

* A huge fall from grace, Australia was last with the televoters. Surprised? Not really. I though the performance was erratic and it’s hopes inflated.

* Hungary should be rewarded for presenting something different and should have received more points.

* The song was dead when the music stopped. Slovenia had their trick in the semi, they should have gone with a complete song in the final. It was a strong song that didn’t need a gimmick.

* Has the romance cooled? Spain felt right on the money in performance. Should have done better.

* I’m disappointed for the UK. First they have some fucking cunt moron imbecile invade their stage and then they have the indignity of getting low votes all round. 

* Really! Finland deserved to be placed way and above the second to last place they received. They had everything there and on point.

* Portugal had an excellent Eurovision Song contest presentation. If only their entry received a hell of a lot more points. On saying this, 39 points were received for last place, that isn’t too bad.

I’ll start the usual countdown of the songs later in the week.

[melekseev]

alright, so here’s my final top 43 with minor commentaries that no one asked for. also this is probably... not common, bUT WE LOVE SOME DIVERSITY. this is obviously personal taste, but im just gonna say i would die for all the songs in my top 10

43. Russia - alright, so this wasn’t originally this low on my list at all, but after hearing it live... holy shit. i feel really bad for her, but her vocals were tragic, to the point where i don’t even understand how this happened. sh00k

42. Georgia - okay see, this is just not working for me. this is the only song this year that i can never listen to all the way through, and for some reason it depresses me. it honestly gives me funeral vibes.

41. Iceland - oh, Ari. honestly i just find it all too cheesy, especially when you add his personality, given he’s a bundle of sunshine, too, and then it’s an overdose of sugar. the song is rather dated, and this is another one that kind of makes me feel... hhh. just, must we?

40. Germany - okay, look, this one i don’t have a great excuse for other than tthe fact it doesn’t do anything for me personally. i tried to like this song so much though, i swear i did, but the more i hear it, the more i dislike it. this is the one where i usually go out to grab a snack or a drink while it plays, because i just... i don’t like it, i’m sorry.

39. San Marino - *rubs at temple* listen originally i gave them the benefit of the doubt but the way they are suffering live makes me suffer, too. the awkward rapping, that mess of lyrics, the weak vocals.... it’s not great.

38. Israel - plot twist. this was originally my last, so compared to that this is still better. but i just reeeally don’t like this song. it annoys me, actually. makes me laugh, but when i see the odds it makes me cry. also, honestly, her live performances did nothing for me - other than the high notes in the very end, it was... whatever it was. i really can’t comprehend why everyone’s eating this up, but you do you guys.

37. Romania - i swear i sort of keep forgetting this song exists, oh my god. it’s just kind of a mess..? i don’t really know what it wants to be, maybe they also don’t know what it wants to be. in the very least she sounds good live.

36. Latvia - so this song... is also something that’s just sort of there, but i don’t feel a single thing. i’m not too fond of her stage presence when it comes to it, either, with all the dramatic hairflips. am i the only one who thinks she’s like jessica rabbit?

35. Lithuania - aww, Lithuania... puts me to sleep ;;; she has a nice, unique voice but i find myself incredibly bored during her performances. i was watching the amsterdam live and i didn’t even notice she switched to Lithuanian at one point, only when i saw the recap. probably not a great sign.

34. Belgium - she kept dropping on my list anyway, and after hearing her live, she just somehow got down here. first of all, honestly it has great quality - doesn’t grab me the slightest, though. i find the chorus disappointing...? “echoes echoes and goes...” i always keep expecting a bigger, powerful drop and i’m somehow let down every time. and her vocals live, just... oooooh no.

33. Sweden - *buries face in hands* Justin Bieber...? this song is something that we’ve all heard like 1000000 times before. furthermore, i can’t be the only one who’s annoyed that he doesn’t sing his chorus live, he just whispers over it? like...

32. Czech Republic - okay, this kind of goes hand in hand with Sweden for me. i like Miki, but this is very, very... i don’t wanna say outright cheap, so let’s just say basic. basically talk dirty to me. honestly, it’s basically the exact same thing. one of the many. next!

31. Estonia - she actually went quite up on my list, because i appreciate her talent, and couldn’t question that even if i tried. i mean yes, i’m honestly not into opera... but it’s not horrible. although in the end it becomes a bit too much for me personally.

30. United Kingdom - SuRie is amazing, i honestly love her so much for her personality?? icon. buuuut the song is still not great and it’s just an inch away from tipping towards annoying - but, i can enjoy this one.

29. Poland - it’s okay for what it is. they are having fun. but i don’t want to give it more credit than that, it’s something you can hear every day in a club, on the beach, on the radio... been there done that. also... *whispers* okay JOWST did it much better, i’m soRRY

28. Australia - fun, up tempo, catchy BOP. do i feel more than that? no, not really. Jessica is adorable, though ;;; i wish this was... more.

27. Finland - her NF performance did not convince me one bit, but the studio cut and her Amsterdam performance elevated her a bit on my list. but still not... enough? it’s... it’s okay.

26. F.Y.R. Macedonia - this grew on me, to be honest. i still don’t know if i really like the three-songs-at-once thing, but i learned to enjoy it.

25. The Netherlands  - okay, so country is not my type of music at all, and he’s only here because i think it’s a decent entry, and he's really good live.

24. Slovenia - i really dig her voice, and i like the verses, and LOVE the pre-chorus. she’s great on stage. the only reason she’s not higher is because the chorus itself is... sigh, it leaves me a bit disappointed.

23. Moldova - they literally jumped 17 places ahead on my list, and i regret nothing. i woke up on them, even if it took a while. once that tacky performance from the NF was out of the way, i was into it. THIS MAKES ME WANT TO HAVE FUN WITH THEM, OKAY

22. Malta - another BOP, but it just works better for me than Australia, personally. i was worried about her live but i think she delivers. it’s often stuck in my head.

21. Cyprus - BOP after BOP. it’s good, catchy and fun, definitely works for what it is, and i always jam to it.

20. Croatia - okay, i really really like her voice?? there’s something about this specific female vocal that i love, and tbh the song isn’t bad at all.

19. Spain - i prefer the studio cut with them, honestly. i find it to be a really lovely song, but when they do it live i just don’t feel connected with them, because they are busy connecting with each other. there’s nothing wrong with that, they are adorable, but it’s just as high as it will go for me.

18. Ireland - listen, i love his voice. it’s so sweet... the melody stayed with me from the very first listen. i am well aware he will get lost in the semi, but i appreciate him. this is really good.

17. Austria - so here’s the thing, this was originally in my top 10, but i just kind of got over it? he is also good live, but that’s about it. the song is good, i dig the hozier vibes it has, it’s a radio friendly tune... i just like 16 other songs more.

16. Azerbaijan - okay this song gets a lot of hate, and i GET that this is just esc pop, but a good one? i really like her voice?? and the power the song has in it? i don’t know, i was so sceptical about this but i replayed it right after the first listen - it makes me feel good.

15. Norway - listen i love Alexander Rybak, but i was also so sceptical about his comeback, because why, you already won? but the live performance was honestly so good, like listen, this guy’s charisma is ON POINT. i still love the violin. i still love him. i won’t rate him higher, because yes, the lyrics could be better, but i still enjoy it a whole lot.

14. France - oh, i love them. very easy to get into, it’s lovely. not something that makes me catch my breath, but i really appreciate it still because i honestly love listening to it.

13. Armenia - Sevak is so on point vocally, um...? this song is a huge grower for me, and at this point i seriously just... it’s so good.

12. Albania - I’M STILL MOURNING THE PRE-REVAMP VERSION HHHHH.... but i still love it, and love Eugent aswell. he has amazing vocals, and he would definitely deserve a good place.

11. Serbia - okay okAY OKAY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH??? the ethnic vibes, the whole... composition, their voices, it’s one big massive yes.

10. Switzerland - *cries softly* listen i fucking love them? Corinne’s vocals are EPIC. this song is just really good, although people are sleeping on it like they are knocked out. but they are doing great and i’m very proud of these Zibblingz. damn.

9. Ukraine - wELL I LOVE MÉLOVIN, WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT. he is a Performer™. his voice is amazing, and this song just doesn’t leave my head, i don’t even care about his ‘aghdshfdfzgz’, he’s that good.

8. Denmark - talk about epic? this whole song just raises me to a whole another spiritual level tbh. i can just close my eyes and see the sea and... hear the soundtrack of a fantasy movie, and i’m all for it. also, he’s REALLY good every time.

7. Bulgaria - i loved this song to begin with, but their live performance really gave it the last push. they harmonize their vocals in such a beautiful way, and i was afraid it wouldn’t work so much live, but it does. it really does, and i’m loving it.

6. Hungary - i can’t believe my country makes it to my top ten like... the 3rd time in a row, considering i never liked our entries before. but honestly AWS is.. wow, i was shook from the moment i first heard the song, and i LOVE how daring we’re being lately. i’m incredibly proud of them. they have so much energy, and in Amsterdam, they were definitely my favorite - i’m shocked. they deliver, they are an explosion. Örs’ vocals are AMAZING, and they never falter, even if this song is so demanding in that aspect? fucking... respect.

5. Montenegro - i aggressively love this song, maybe even love it more the more people ditch it. this is so dramatic and epic?? he is another singer who delivers vocally whenever it’s live? this song is... i LOVE the balkan sound, the musical-esque melodies, the power in his voice, just... i personally love it more than Adio from Knez, come fight me.

4. Portugal - i feel entranced every time. she grabs me, and doesn’t let go. this whole song is like a sweet dream, to be honest, and i love it sooooo much. i adore when isaura joins in. i just... it goes straight to my heart, god bless. beautiful.

3. Greece - this song... is so magical? like, pure magic. i’m so happy greece is finally doing it right, i’m... yianna is an actual greek goddess, and her voice... dude. this is art.

2. Belarus - definitely my most played song this year, oh my god. (okay, i might play Navsegda a bit more, but Forever is amazing too) the revamp didn’t ruin it, it gave it more personality. i love his tone changes? i love his soft, beautiful voice, and how he plays with it? guys alekseev is brilliant, and i would actually probably sob if he didn’t make the cut. this song does things to me. just.. wow.

1. Italy - there is not one other song this year that makes me think ‘winner’. just... there isn’t any other. it has everything; two amazing male vocals (and that contrast between them, gOD THAT CONTRAST!), an amazing, original song, an important message, the soul... what more do you want? this is a masterpiece. makes you stop and listen. honestly, if they don’t win, i really don’t see the point.

[junker-town]

Tactically Naive: Euro 2020 qualifying is really upping the weirdness

Everything you need to know about this delightful mess of a tournament.

Hello, and welcome back to Tactically Naive, SB Nation’s weekly soccer column. In this week’s slightly delayed edition, we look back at the grand sprawling mess of Euro 2020 qualifying, which came to an end — almost, sort of — this week.

And after 18 months hard qualifying, it’s time to say goodbye to ... San Marino

Well, not quite. But there are 24 teams going to Euro 2020: that’s going on half of Europe’s 55 footballing nations. 20 are through, with four spots left to fill. And UEFA have jazzed up the playoffs. Once upon a time, two teams would have played home and away for each place. Now, four teams will play for each spot: semi-finals, then a final.

More football! Glorious football!

So that’s 20 teams already qualified, and 16 more playing off for the last four places. Which means that after a couple years of qualifying, and a Nations League tournament as well, we’ve managed to eliminate ... yep, just 19 teams from contention. Have to imagine those 19 are feeling pretty silly right now.

Of course, it’s kind of nice to keep so many teams involved for so long. And we certainly haven’t missed the friendlies. But it’s hard not to feel like UEFA saw people say, “Eh, this Europa League’s a bit weird, isn’t it?” and thought, “Weird? You wait. We’ll show you weird.”

Groups! Get your groups!

The weirdness doesn’t stop there. Because Euro 2020: Michel Platini’s Grand Tour will be held across most of Europe (and just a smidge of Eurasia), the draw for the groups is being finessed. If a host team qualifies, they get to play at home.

Makes sense. Cuts down on air miles. They’ll know the good restaurants already.

So we already know, for example, that Italy are in Group A, because three of Group A’s games take place at the Stadio Olimpico in Rome. And we know that Germany are in Group F, to be held in part at Bayern Munich’s Allianz Arena. And Russia and Denmark both have to go into Group B, because that’s where Group B will happen.

But wait! Ukraine can’t go into the same group as Russia, for reasons of ongoing geopolitical unpleasantness. So they have to go into Group C, leaving only Belgium able to occupy the top spot in Group B. In summary, before the draw has even taken place, Group B is three-quarters full: Belgium, Russia, Denmark.

And just to lessen the tension even further, there are only two teams that can fit into the fourth spot:

Due to the host requirements, Wales and Finland can only be drawn into Group A or B. France are guaranteed to draw one of Spain, Italy, England or Germany. Portugal have 80% chance of drawing one of Spain, Italy, England or Germany (Ukraine other poss).

— Dale Johnson (@DaleJohnsonESPN) November 20, 2019

World Cup champions in danger?!

France’s qualification was ... well, it was basically fine. They topped Group H by a clear six points and only lost once in ten games. Job done.

But! When it comes to drawing the groups, the teams are allocated into pots according to their qualifying performances, and France ended up performing comparatively worse than six other teams, most notably and surprisingly Ukraine. That puts them in pot 2, which creates the situation in the tweet above when combined with the requirement that hosts play at home.

So that’s one of Spain, Italy, England, or Germany, all set to have their house party ruined by the arrival of the World Cup champions. There’s also the possibility, albeit remote, that Portugal end up in the same group as France and Another Big Team. Cross your lucky rabbit fingers, and we might just get a Group of Death worthy of the name.

Finland, Finland, Finland

We don’t have the final list of qualifiers yet, so there’s every chance this could change, but as it stands Finland are the only team that will be making their European Championships debut in Russia, or Denmark, or wherever the hell they end up.

This came as a shock to Tactically Naive. First, we were surprised that Jari Litmanen had never masterminded something beautiful to get Finland to a major tournament; and then we were outraged that Jari Litmanen had never graced a major tournament. Come on, football. Do better.

But who needs Litmanen, when you’ve got Teemu Pukki and Tim Sparv? Where Iceland went four years ago, Finland go this time around, and the whole world will be waiting to see if they can deliver the same glorious outcome: making England look ridiculous in front of the whole continent.

One day, when things settle down, I’ll try and describe what it means to us. Today though, I just wanna say thanks. Thank you for being there during the hard times. Thank you for believing. Thank you for helping us make history. We’ll be forever grateful. ( :Jussi Eskola SPL) pic.twitter.com/GGxbhcksCB

— Tim Sparv (@TimSparv) November 17, 2019

Cymru am byth

Let’s check in with Gareth Bale, who is still — despite Real Madrid’s best efforts over the summer — being paid sackloads of cash on a weekly basis.

The extent to which Bale no longer gives a single solitary shit really is very enjoyable. pic.twitter.com/eflCjhq7Pi

— Nick Miller (@NickMiller79) November 20, 2019

Back to Spurs in January, then.

The Red Misery

There can’t be many managers who have capped off a successful, unbeaten qualifying campaign with a 5-0 win, then immediately left the stadium in a flood of tears and lost their job shortly afterwards.

So pour one out for Robert Moreno — the former assistant manager to Luis Enrique at Roma, Celta, Barcelona, and then Spain — who took over as the Spanish national team coach in March after Enrique stepped down to spend time with his sick daughter. Nine games, seven wins, 29 goals and one “permanent” contract later, he’s been sacked. Enrique is coming back.

We’re guessing Moreno won’t be alongside him. This should have been a heartwarming story: one friend keeps the ship steady for another, who then returns from personal tragedy to lead his country again. Instead, per Sid Lowe, it seems Moreno was given assurances that were then undermined behind his back. And so, tears.

It wasn’t so two years ago, when Julen Lopetegui was sacked two days before the World Cup started for his heavy flirting with Real Madrid. Since then, Spain have been coached by Fernando Hierro, Enrique, Moreno, and now Enrique again. Given that Spain might be the most extravagantly talented footballing nation in the world, it’s a good job that they are constantly wracked with chaos. Otherwise nobody else would stand a chance.

To absent hosts

For the first time in Euros history, the hosts will be missing the tournament. Well, at least two of the 12 (twelve!) hosts: Azerbaijan are out, and two from Hungary, Romania, and Scotland will end up in the same playoff group.

The general consensus is that home advantage is helpful in football, and that this is exacerbated in tournaments. It seems that a national party can enhance a team’s performances far beyond expectations. Think of Russia storming through their World Cup to everybody’s great surprise, including possibly their own.

So will all these home teams have a kind of double advantage? And will this skew the tournament against the other 12 teams that are playing but not hosting? England will play three games at Wembley, a stadium in which they last lost in 2016, in front of what we can assume will be a predominantly England-supporting crowd. It might make an English group stage actually fun.

But alternatively, perhaps the disparate nature of the tournament will work against the usual tournament bounce. It’s hard to roar “It’s our time!” when you need a footnote. It’s coming home, Wembley will sing, and maybe it is. But it’s going to Rome, and Budapest, and Munich, and doing a whole mess of interrailing first.

[borisbubbles]

EUROVISION 2018 #5 & #4

05. SWITZERLAND ZiBBZ - “Stones” 32nd place

~*Wild Jokah On A Gole Froam*~

Yanking away the top NQ slot in this year’s ranking is, of course, everybody’s favourite Sibling alliance, ZiBZZ!! 

As you know, I looooooooove mental health awareness songs, and I particularly love those with approaches that work (*cough* NOT “Goodbye” *cough*). While most of these songs are doused in motherly, cloddlesome tones, “Stones” doesn’t beat around the bush and argues that one must confront their fears HEAD-ON. 

To transliterate the (ridic, amusing) lyrics into Common English: 

“People have always been shitbags and have treated others like crap for aeons and there’s nothing I can do about it because people won’t fucking change.. SO fucking WHAT? Why would let those assholes affect my present and future the same way they’ve influenced my past? Fuck that noise. It’s time to let the inner demons rest, grow as a person AND help others get out of the deep end while doing so.”. 

Holy fuck what an epic Truth BOMB, I can relate to all of that scalding hot tea. The best way to get around depression, anger and frustration *is* to 1) remove you from the toxic environment 2) find kindred spirits and support each other 3) find the courage to leave your past behind and build a future for yourself. Mental health is a BATTLEFIELD that HITS YOU with its best shots (did I just ref Pat Benatar twice? 🤭) while you’re struggling and “Stones” acklowedges this reality so hard. About fucking time someone lit the flares of ferocity to stand up against BULLYING and HATE. ALL HAIL COCO the ZiBB, FIRST OF HER NAME, THE UNDUN, MOTHER OF FLARES, KHALEESI OF THE DOWNTRODDEN, NON-THROWER OF STONES, BREAKER OF TABOOS, QUEEN OF THE HURT, TORMENTED AND BROWBEATEN. 

Ain’t the only one who don’t wanna throw stooooooooooones

But of course, message alone isn’t enough to get such a high ranking, but fortunately ZiBBZ delivered musically as well. “Stones” has the perfect type of melody for Eurovision: catchy,  repetitive and accessible, but never boring or tiresome because the arrangement was spot.fucking.on. The horns and tuba’s give the music so much gravitas, the backing AHEMs are excellent  and CoCo’s five-packs-a-day type of gravelly voice adds so much realness to the song. "Stones” as a whole is jarring and complex and succeeds at elliciting the emotional response it aims for. This is my favourite song of the 42, by no small margin. 

And then there’s the staging, which... I have mixed feelings about, not gonnal ie. It saddens me that even at this high a rank I must again resort to critique. I mean, the ACT was great. That motherfuckin’ flare is one of the few goosebump moments I got from this year, Coco is Minerva in a hipster body, Stee is a lovable goof, but... you have this amazing, dynamic song that is capable BLOWING EVERYONE AWAY and it  kinda... doesn’t? 

I would say that “Stones” was mostly hampered by its camerawork, which was mostly AWFUL. Which idiot [Hans Pancake 🙄] is responsible for framing such a powerful, uptempo song with slow, drawn-out shots?

I mean, shots such as this one:

(why didn’t they just focus on Stee??? or the audience?)

and that one:

(You can clearly see Coco throwing away a drumstick at the start of the preformance... Why the faraway shots?? Why no close-ups when she’s drumming happening???? NO ONE CARED ABOUT SANNA’S LIGHT CAGE SO WHY WOULD THEY START CARING NOW??? (seriously, fuck you Hans Culpepper))

This is the reason why “Stones” failed to ensnare the audience’s attention. Wrong people with the right to stage and ZiBBZ can’t do anything about it. I chose to not take it into account when I decided on their final ranking, but it’s sooooo frustrating to see Switzerland FINALLY strike the motherload and fall flat because of some moronic cinematographic decisions. Now watch Switz pick something mediocre and be overrated by the Basics/NQ once again (lol I say this without having listened to the Swiss songs, but can you blame me?). Oh well, ZiBBZ have since moved on to better things -

- and so should we :). Still praying they pull a Poli in five years or so. THE WORLD NEEDS IT

04. SLOVENIA Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!” 22nd place

Damn’ this is such a tough decision. Cutting entries loose at this point really hurts y’all.

So as you know, I really, REALLY fucking love Lea Sirk and even said that, in the unlikely event that she qualified, she’d WIN the ranking. However, while I am probably obliged by contract to grant her the first place, I can honestly say that... I like my top three more?  Lea could have easily won this ranking, had my opinions on Elina, DoReDos and Ieva stayed the same; but they didn’t (they went up obvi), so here we are. The above paragraph is just a disclaimer to explain why Slovenia don’t rank higher than they do, because holy fuck this "Hvala, ne!” was awesoooooooooome. Anti-establishmentarian trap-pop that was a shock qualifier and made a flashy gimmick work TWICE <3 There’s a reason why the Good Gays Fanbase (do I include myself in that? hmmm 🤔) have nicknamed it “Hvala Slay!”. 

But first, (-- Julie Chen-Moonves) let’s discuss the PHENOMENON that is Lea Sirk. My love for her predates this contest by several years, from the time when I only knew her as the botty cyborg sidekick to the heiress of the Ravenclaw Empire herself, Tinkara Kovac. 

“KEN U BEE-LIEF ET???”

who happens to be *my* fave of Outstanding Eurovision Year 2014 (Yes, over Conchita, go cry) and is a contender for fave entry of the decade. The Summer of 2014 was a fantastic experience, partly thanks to Lea and I will forever cherish her for that reason. So when this beautiful dubstep fae was selected to rep Slovenia, now sporting a lilac killer braid, a trashbag jumpsuit and a cabal of slut-dropping dance devas of destruction... like *instantly* fanning my proverbial clit right there. It only got better during Lea’s pre-show content, proving her not only cool chick onstage, but off the stage as well. Having a teenage girl crush on Waylon <3 (Confessing this IN FRONT OF A LIVE AUDIENCE WHICH INCLUDED BOTH WAYLON AND HER HUSBAND lmao bless <3). Impersonating Salvador on some Slovene version of the Soundmix Show <3 There’s no way Lea couldn’t deliver in Lisbon.

And “deliver” is underselling what Lea did, holy fucking hell that live was EVERYTHING. It’s hard to even name what the brightest shining star of their performance was, since Slovenia brought an entire fucking galaxy  of them. I’d say the best thing was probably the choreography, which managed to be spellbinding, professional and hilarious all at once.  Lea and her dancers-in-crime put on an amazing, electrifying show, aided by dynamic camerawork and lighting (Take note, Hans Pancake 🙄). 

My personal fave thing about “Hvala ne!” however was that it QUALIFIED BY A COMFORTABLE MARGIN AND WOULD HAVE UNDER ANY POINTS SYSTEM <345871 I love a deserving shock qualifier (see: Albania), but when it happens to a preshow fave of mine that I considered all but doomed (and a contender for last in the semi). . . There are no superlatives in my glossary that can describe the state of elation I felt when Lea was announced as a finalist. Netta might as well cede her trophy because the Eurogaes were the actual winners of this year 💗🧡💛💚💙💜 “Hvala, ne!” more like “HVALA motherfucking SLAYS HATERS” amirite???

Granted “Hvala, ne!” was the same in Lisbon as during the preshow, with only two marked exceptions. One was Lea had added a chorus in shabby Portuguese (”OBRIGADA NAO NAO!!!” <3) which was hilar, and the other was... the break!

Granted the semi break was kinda *blah* to me. “Zomg the music dies riiiiiiight before the bridge how coincidental”. Sure, Jan. Either way, I found it moderately funny, mostly because of the random extras that were clearly being paid by production to oversell it <3 

But the best thing was that it WORKED and brought Lea to the finale where she performed a SECOND break and this one was downright epic. The audience actually sang along with her <3 <3 <3 <3 Two different instances of the same gimmick and making it work BOTH times <3 When will YOUR faves???

I suppose that, at the end of the day, “Hvala, ne!” was an experimental song that you either love or hate. Why anyone would ever hate this radiant nymph is beyond me, but whatever. My ranking, my rules, ya shallow fools. I *loved* this bizarre mix of K-Pop and Hip-Hop, sung in Slovene and Portuguese, (which is the most unique combination of languages ever featured in a Eurovision entry, I’m sure <3), with badass self-referential lyrics that SLAM DOWN musical conformity in a year that was all about rewarding it. In other words PRECISELY WHAT THIS CONTEST NEEDED. You know, there are plenty of countries out there that have never scored a top five in Eurovision and probably never will until they find their monster runaway winner (Lordi, Salvador). I *hope* the next one is from Slovenia. Raiven performing a song by Maraaya, with Lea and BQL as the back-up singers. Come on y’all, let’s make Eurovision Great Again. Hvala, slay, slay, slay, slay

 RANKING SO FAR

04. Slovenia (Lea Sirk - “Hvala, ne!”)

05. Switzerland (ZiBBZ - “Stones”)

06. Germany (Michael Schulte - “You let me walk alone”)

07. Albania (Eugent Bushpepa - “Mall”)

08. France (Madame Monsieur - “Mercy”)

09. Hungary (AWS - “Viszlát nyár”)

10. Finland (Saara Aalto - “Monsters”)

11. Bulgaria (EQUINOX - “Bones”)

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente”)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We got love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Jozef - “Lie to me”)

[gadgetsrevv]

5 teams from the past we wish had made it to the Euros

Back in October 2002, in front of more than 70,000 fans at Cardiff’s Millennium Stadium, Wales moved top of their European Championship qualifying group with a 2-1 win over Italy.

The most striking thing, though, was that they entirely deserved it.

If anything, the narrow loss flattered Italy, who had no answer for the pace and dynamism of Craig Bellamy and the guile of Simon Davies. Wales looked all set to make the Euros for the first time and, given Greece’s eventual success in Portugal in 2004, who knows what might have happened after that.

However, they ultimately fell short, denied in controversial circumstances. We’ve delved a little deeper into that campaign, and into four more of Europe’s exciting ‘nearly’ teams,

Wales, Euro 2004

With Italy and a strong Serbia & Montenegro squad in their way, Wales weren’t meant to even be in the running.

They had won just one of their 12 qualifiers for the 2002 World Cup, a 1-0 triumph over Belarus, and things weren’t exactly looking rosy. However, rookie manager Mark Hughes learned from that campaign and led his country. Finland were seen off in Helsinki and, after the success against Italy, a double over Azerbaijan left them looking very healthy indeed.

Even a run of one point from the final four qualifiers was enough to earn a play-off spot, where they succumbed 1-0 on aggregate to Russia, but that wasn’t the whole story.

Yegor Titov, who played in the first leg, tested positive for a banned substance. The Russian was banned for the second leg, but Welsh fans felt the punishment should have been more severe. Ultimately, Vadim Evseev’s goal in Cardiff made the difference, and Russia were eliminated in the group stage despite being the only team to beat eventual champions Greece.

Israel, Euro 2008

The big story in Euro 2008 qualifying was England’s failure to make the cut, but there was another exciting team that almost made it out of the same group.

Israel looked to have handed England a lifeline with their last-gasp victory over Russia in the penultimate game, but Dror Kashtan’s squad might have even surpassed the Three Lions with a bit more luck.

After going unbeaten throughout their 2006 World Cup qualifying campaign (and not even making the play-offs despite four wins and six draws), Israel won’t have been happy with their draw, but still ended up with an identical record to England after seven wins, two draws and three defeats in their 12 games, putting them a point behind second-placed Russia.

A goalless draw with England in Ramat-Gan helped, while the attacking threat of players like Roberto Colautti, Toto Tamuz and teenage Chelsea striker Ben Sahar – all supported by rising Premier League star Yossi Benayoun – served them well.

Two defeats to group winners Croatia proved their undoing, with Arsenal striker Eduardo the main culprit with the only goal of the game in one meeting and a hat-trick in another. Israel have never been as close again.

Scotland, Euro 2008

While England ended up being the highest-profile casualties, that honour could easily have gone to France.

Scotland went toe-to-toe with the Euro 2000 champions – and fellow group B rivals Italy, with Gary Caldwell scoring a winner against Les Bleus at home and James McFadden – one of the stars of the Scottish campaign – doing the same at the Parc des Princes.

With two games left, Scotland had their fate in their own hands. Four points from games away to Georgia and at home to Italy would guarantee their progress, while three would be enough if France didn’t get the maximum from their final two outings. In the end, Scotland got none.

With 17-year-old Georgi Makaridze making his debut in goal for Georgia, Scotland can only blame themselves for drawing a blank, but the defeat to Italy might have been even more painful.

Having clawed their way back from 1-0 down to draw level on points with France – who still had a tricky trip to Ukraine to navigate – Scotland appealed for a late free-kick when Alan Hutton was felled. The referee gave Italy the call instead, and Christian Panucci got to the ball for his first international goal in five years. France were through before they needed to kick a ball, and Scotland’s wait for a major tournament went on. More than a decade later, they’re still waiting.

Armenia, Euro 2012

When an unfancied side gets itself in with a shot at a major tournament, it’s often because they’ve discovered a golden generation of sorts. It worked for Latvia in 2004, with 16 of their squad aged between 24 and 30 as they defied the odds to take their place in Portugal, but Armenia did things very differently in 2012.

The stars of that squad included big names of old approaching the end of their career, like veteran goalkeeper Roman Berezovsky and captain Sargis Hovsepyan, a man who began his career before the collapse of the Soviet Union. However, these two were supported by Henrikh Mkhitaryan, just 21 when the qualification campaign got underway.

It was a now-or-never situation, and Armenia really went for it, scoring 21 times in their first nine games, highlighted by a stunning 4-0 win away to Slovakia.

A win in Ireland in their final game would have secured a play-off spot where, as it happened, Estonia would have been waiting. However, a first-half red card for Berezovsky put them on the back foot and they ultimately fell to a 2-1 defeat. Four years later, their Euro 2016 qualifying campaign saw them finish dead last with no wins from their eight games.

Ukraine, Euro 2000

Slovenia’s run to Euro 2000 was a fantastic achievement, but we often forget it came at the expense of a Ukraine side who could easily have gone far in Belgium and the Netherlands.

Ukraine boasted a number of players who helped Dinamo Kyiv reach the semi-finals of the Champions League in 1999: strike pairing Andriy Shevchenko and Serhiy Rebrov might have been the main stars, but others like Vladyslav Vashchuk and goalkeeper Oleksandr Shovkovskiy also played their part.

Yozhef Sabo’s squad went unbeaten throughout their qualifying group, culminating in a truly massive game against Russia. Victory for either team at the Luzhniki would see them top the group, while a draw would leave Ukraine second, Russia third and France – who were busy beating Iceland in Paris – as group winners by a single point.

Shevchenko’s lucky late free-kick earned Ukraine a vital point, and when they drew Slovenia in the play-offs they’ll have thought they were all but there, especially when Shevchenko put them ahead in their first leg in Ljubljana.

However, their opponents fought back to take a narrow lead to Kiev, where Miran Pavlin’s equaliser saw them through.

Who’ll miss out this time? Find a full range of European Championships betting on paddypower.com

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[eurosong]

2016 vs 2017

Another year has come, and a new set of songs is complete to evaluate and compare with the class before it! I didn’t see one of these Eurovision 2016 vs 2017 templates yet, so I made one. Feel free to use the one I include in the comments to make your own comparisons! I also made a chart where the further to the left a song appears, the more I preferred the 2016 version, and to the right, the more I preferred the 2017 version. The songs up the top are ones I rank highly, the ones down the bottom not so much -- so Estonia appears in the top left hand corner for being one of my favourites in 2016 and one of my least favourite this year; Belarus is in the top-right corner because I love their entry this year but was left cold by Ivan’s. The closer to the centre, the more I like both entries.

Albania: Fairytale vs World Ah, Albania - the country where you can almost always be certain that a “revamp” means that anything special about the winning song of the national final will be removed. Luckily, this year’s World is slightly less catastrophic than the revamp of Përallë, which in its original version, I found stronger than Botë. I still find the revamp removed most of its mystery though... Armenia: LoveWave vs Fly with Me Both strong, experimental songs, but Fly with me’s masterful use of traditional Armenian instrumentation blended with influences from Japan is more impressive to me. Australia: Sound of Silence vs Don't Come Easy I was not fully on board the Sound of Silence hype train, and found her live rendition quite shouty, but it’s better than this year’s entry. I’m so distracted by the way he tries to look so sad. Austria: Loin d’ici vs Running on Air I applauded Austria for striking a blow for linguistic diversity, even if I found the song annoyingly repetitive. Better for me than this year’s unconsequential effort, though. Azerbaijan: Miracle vs Skeletons Miracle should have stayed in the semis - a dull song poorly sung. Skeletons, on the other hand, is one of the most contemporary things ever sent by Azerbaijan. Belarus: Help you fly vs Historyja majgo zyccia As much as I found IVAN’s lupine fetish and attempts to “rock out with his cock out” amusing, this lovely, carefree song and début of the Belarusian language at Eurovision is leagues ahead. Belgium: What’s the pressure vs City Lights Last year, we got a song that was 2010s trying to do 1990s trying to do 1970s. This year, we get something so fresh that it sounds almost futuristic. Bulgaria: If love were a crime (as much as I like the song, I refuse to not use the subjunctive correctly) vs Beautiful Mess When Beautiful Mess comes on, I can enjoy the song, but often I don’t notice. When Poli’s barnstormer comes on, I find myself dropping everything and singing along. No contest. Continue below:

Croatia: Lighthouse vs My Friend Two songs with weird vocals - the “two men inside one” act by Jacques and the unbearably twee vox from Nina. When I first heard My Friend, I considered it a boiling hot mess, but I’ve since warmed to the crazy idea behind it. That being said, whilst it’s not my cup of tea, Lighthouse is the better song. Cyprus: Alter Ego vs Gravity Both of a similar pop-dressed-as-rock ilk. I prefer the former. Czechia: I Stand vs My Turn I Stand felt like a pæon to co-dependent relationships. I like My Turn, sincere and low-key. Denmark: Soldiers of Love vs Where I Am Not a fan of either, but at least Where I am doesn’t give me hives. Estonia: Play vs Verona My #1 track of 2016 versus one of my most hated and so repetitive tracks of 2017. No contest for me. Finland: Sing it away vs Blackbird Blackbird is quite gorgeous. Sing it away was like What’s the pressure, but less good. France: J’ai cherché vs Requiem Alma is no Amir. Georgia: Midnight Gold vs Keep the Faith Midnight Gold was original - Keep the faith must be one of the most generic tracks this year. I find the pseudo-political message and the shouty vocals obnoxious too. Germany: Ghost vs Perfect Life Neither one great in my book. Greece: Utopian Land vs This is Love Utopian Land was, at least, something daring and different. This is love is so generic that it makes me bleed tears of blood. Hungary: Pioneer vs Origo I love Hungary at the ESC and find both songs great, but Origo impacts me more. I love the traditional instrumentation and the hugely heartfelt performance. And the fact it’s in Hungarian! Iceland: Hear them calling vs Paper Liked Hear them calling a lot and still can’t understand how it failed to qualify. Paper manages to edge it though as I really find myself connecting with the subtly clever lyrics. Ireland: Sunlight vs Dying to Try I love Dying to try’s subdued melancholic vibes - until all of a sudden when it turns into an X Factor winners’ singer with that drop and cringeworthy key change. Better than the forgettable Sunlight, though. Israel: Made of Stars vs I Feel Alive I feel alive has grown on me, but I prefer the more soulful effort from last year. Italy: No degree of separation vs Occidentali's Karma No contest, even despite having excised the best verse of the song. Latvia: Heartbeat vs Line I like Line, but you cannot compete with Aminata. Lithuania: I’ve been waiting for this night vs Rain of Revolution One of the glorious trio of Baltic boys against an unholy squawkfest. Macedonia: Dona vs Dance Alone I dig Dance alone, even though it reminds me of several songs I already heard in the 1980s. Dona, on the other hand, brought tears to my eyes. Queen Kaliopi deserved so much more. Malta: Walk on water vs Breathlessly Don’t like either, but at least 2016 didn’t put me to sleep. Moldova: Falling Stars vs Hey, Mamma! Find both subpar to be honest. Montenegro: The Real Thing vs Space A rapey rhyme (INSIDE YOUUU) vs something even more cringeworthy. The fact that Space keeps getting described as “art” further convinces me into preferring the former. Netherlands: Slow down vs Lights and Shadows I’ve started to enjoy this year’s Dutch entry, which isn’t my typical style but whose lyrics began to speak to me. Still no match for Douwe Bob’s instant classic. Norway: Icebreaker vs Grab the Moment Both are a disappointment compared to Silent storm and A monster like me, but at least Grab the moment is one song instead of a cacophonous blend of 2-3.

Poland: Color of your life vs Flashlight Not a huge fan of either song, but Szpak’s was very heartfelt - and didn’t sound like it was written with a beginners’ rhyming dictionary, unlike Flashlight (fire/desire/higher!) Portugal: Há um mar que nos separa vs Amar pelos dois I have so much love and respect for Portugal. I like their 2015 effort, but the stunningly timeless entry this year is my #1 so far and moves me every time I hear it. Romania: Moment of Silence vs Yodel It! I came to enjoy the Meatloaf-style broadside against corruption that was Moment of Silence before its sad DQ. Yodel it! has the edge though, as it makes me quite happy whenever I listen to it. Russia: You are the only one vs Flame Is Burning Absolutely no contest.  San Marino: I didn’t know vs Spirit of the Night I didn’t know was entertainingly creepy. I cannot listen to Spirit of the night all the way through. Serbia: Shelter vs In Too Deep I much prefer Shelter, which sounded contemporary and influenced by local musical tradition at the same time, to this Katy Perry clone. Slovenia: Blue and red vs On My Way Better faux Taylor Swift than the somnifacient schlocky attempt at Broadway. Spain: Say yay! vs Do It for Your Lover The people’s choice over the jury’s choice. Sweden: If I were sorry vs I Can't Go On If I were sorry was very clever, lyrically speaking. I can’t go on is just scumbag pop writ large. Switzerland: Last of our kind vs Apollo I much prefered Timebelle’s earlier attempt at the big stage, Singing about love, but even Apollo is better than the bizarre pee-pee dance from last year. Ukraine: 1944 vs Time Time won’t do nearly as well, but I prefer it as a composition. United Kingdom: You’re not alone vs Never Give Up on You Upbeat britpop beats this insincere ballad.

For those who want to play along, here are the songs: Albania: Fairytale vs World Armenia: LoveWave vs Fly with Me Australia: Sound of Silence vs Don't Come Easy Austria: Loin d’ici vs Running on Air Azerbaijan: Miracle vs Skeletons Belarus: Help you fly vs Historyja majgo zyccia Belgium: What’s the pressure vs City Lights Bulgaria: If love were a crime (I refuse to not use the subjunctive correctly) vs Beautiful Mess Croatia: Lighthouse vs My Friend Cyprus: Alter Ego vs Gravity Czechia: I Stand vs My Turn Denmark: Soldiers of Love vs Where I Am Estonia: Play vs Verona Finland: Sing it away vs Blackbird France: J’ai cherché vs Requiem Georgia: Midnight Gold vs Keep the Faith Germany: Ghost vs Perfect Life Greece: Utopian Land vs This is Love Hungary: Pioneer vs Origo Iceland: Here them calling vs Paper Ireland: Sunlight vs Dying to Try Israel: Made of Stars vs I Feel Alive Italy: No degree of separation vs Occidentali's Karma Latvia: Heartbeat vs Line Lithuania: I’ve been waiting for this night vs Rain of Revolution Macedonia: Dona vs Dance Alone Malta: Walk on water vs Breathlessly Moldova: Falling Stars vs Hey, Mamma! Montenegro: The Real Thing vs Space Netherlands: Slow down vs Lights and Shadows Norway: Icebreaker vs Grab the Moment Poland: Color of your life vs Flashlight Portugal: Há um mar que nos separa vs Amar pelos dois Romania: Moment of Silence vs Yodel It! Russia: You are the only one vs Flame Is Burning San Marino: I didn’t know vs Spirit of the Night Serbia: Shelter vs In Too Deep Slovenia: Blue and red vs On My Way Spain: Say yay! vs Do It for Your Lover Sweden: If I were sorry vs I Can't Go On Switzerland: Last of our kind vs Apollo Ukraine: 1944 vs Time United Kingdom: You’re not alone vs Never Give Up on You

[while-my-tardis-gently-weeps]

Eurovision 2017: Initial Thoughts (3/13)

Now that the songs for all the participating countries are announced, here are my initial impressions of each piece. The stand-out entries (so far) are in in bold, and the ones in italics are ones I’m keeping my eyes on in the coming weeks but didn’t quite make the mark. 

In alphabetical order:

ALBANIA - Lindita “World” - On first listen, I liked it, but it didn’t really leave a lasting impression on me. Above average Eurovision ballad, but nothing more.

ARMENIA - Artsvik “Fly With Me” -  Okay song, forgettable.

AUSTRALIA -  Isaiah Firebrace “Don’t come easy” - Australia brings it again! 3 for 3 from down under since they joined Eurovision. Only heard the music video version though so I’m curious how he will do in live performance. It definitely didn’t impress me nearly as much as Dami Im’s did last year, but I was sold on her live performance last year, not the recorded version.

AUSTRIA -  Nathan Trent “Running on air” - Thoroughly average pop ballad with good energy and beat, but it’s been growing on me. A LOT. I blame it on the gorgeous Austrian mountain backdrop in the music video. Austria should definitely keep that up in the live staging if they know what’s good for them. I can’t be the only one sold on the scenery porn.

AZERBAIJAN -  DiHaj “Skeletons” - Good, but didn’t make much of an impact on me. Withholding further commentary until I listen to it more.

BELARUS - NaviBand “Historyja Majho Zyccia” - A charming little piece, bonus points for not singing in English. I don’t see it winning Eurovision, but it’s absolutely delightful to listen to.

BELGIUM -  Blanche “City lights” - Love it! Though not as much as a lot of other people seem to. It’s unique and ethereal and showcases her voice very well, but it’s a bit one-tone and kind of resembles dozens of other songs in the same style. Not to mention that it will fit right in among the Skins soundtrack. That said, I see it doing very well and it’ll be a much-welcomed breath of fresh air after listening to generic eurovision ballad after generic eurovision ballad.

BULGARIA - Kristian Kostov “Beautiful mess” - A lot better than I expected, but to be entirely honest my expectations were very low going in. It will depend on his live performance I expect.

CROATIA -  Jacques Houdek “My friend” - Nice, but boring.

CYPRUS - Hovig “Gravity” - Powerful, energetic song that can do extremely well with the right staging, (like Russia 2016 or Sweden 2015, though this one is definitely more along the veins of the former rather than later. That might be my fondness for Mans talking though). 

CZECH REPUBLIC -  Martina Bárta “My turn” - Um, no. Not feeling it at all. I don’t know if anything can fix this one. 

DENMARK - Anja “Where I Am” - I like her voice, I like her performance, I like everything except this boring snoozefest of a song. There are those ballads of yesteryear that were propelled to high rankings by a phenomenal performance, but this one is just too average for that to happen. It might carry her past the semis on a good night but I won’t hold my breath for anything more than that.

ESTONIA - Koit Toome & Laura  “Verona” - Sounds a bit retro, but not in a bad way. Laura’s facial expression during the chorus bothers me a bit though.

FINLAND -  Norma John “Blackbird” - I love Finland for always taking a risk. Doesn’t always work but I appreciate the effort even if the song crashes and burns spectacularly. Wonderfully dark and definitely something I would listen to normally but I’m not sure if it will keep my attention sufficiently enough during a lengthy (Semi-)final. 

FRANCE - Alma “Requiem” - One of my personal favs this year. Fell in love with the tune from the start. Would I had preferred it if they stuck with the original version? Hell yes. Do I think version with English added is as horrendous as everybody says, not really but everything will depend on the live performance I think. I’m 100% behind another song but I’ll be hoping and praying that she does well in the final.  

GEORGIA -  Tako Gachechiladze “Keep the faith” - This song annoys me greatly. 

GERMANY - Levina “Perfect life” - I have to stop forgiving otherwise-generic pop tunes for having lyrics that tick my fancy despite everything. That said, it could have been worse.

GREECE - Demy “This is love” - Good but a bit too generic. 

HUNGARY -  Joci Pápai “Origo” - Not exactly my cup of tea at first listen, but it’s rapidly growing on me, to the point that it’s squeezing past other entries to be one of my favs before I knew it. Can do without the rap; it’s extremely jarring. That chorus though. SUPERB.

ICELAND - Svala “Paper” - I quite like it, but don’t exactly love it (yet?). Need to give it a few more listens but I can see it growing on me a lot more in the coming weeks.

IRELAND -  Brendan Murray “Dying to try” - It’s growing on me. Mostly because of his voice. The song itself is a bit forgettable but not so disastrously average that it can’t be salvaged by a live performance that knocks it out of the park. But even so the left side of the final voting table might be a bit of a stretch.

ISRAEL -  Imri Ziv “I feel alive” - It’s okay but doesn’t stay in your memory for long.

ITALY -  Francesco Gabbani “Occidentali’s Karma” - Remember what I said about being 100% behind one song? WELL THIS IS IT! I was already sold by the joyous, fun, and all-around spectacular performance at San Remo, but then I read the lyrics. AND I AM BLOWN AWAY. This man is a genius. This is Italian pop at its very best even without understanding the lyrics, complete with a staging that can do very well in Kyiv. But with the lyrics? Such a clever critique of Western appropriation and commercialization of Eastern philosophies disguised as a perfect explosion of effervescent joy. My only worries: he needs to do some major cutting to make it fit within the time limit, and there won’t be a live orchestra in Kyiv for the “ale!” moment with raised bows, so I’m crossing my fingers that everything will come together perfectly even with these restraints, and that there will be improvements in the staging that help carry the messages in the lyrics across to a non-Italian-speaking audience. (and the length of this alone is a testament of how much more I love this one above all other entries. Italy2018 please!)

LATVIA - Triana Park “Line” - Latvia’s been on a roll since Aminata! It’s not quite on the level of the last two years imho, but great song nonetheless.

LITHUANIA -  Fusedmarc “Rain of revolution” - ...Aaaaaand right from my most favorite to least. No. Just, no. 

MACEDONIA -  Jana Burčeska “Dance alone” - I won’t cringe if it comes on while I’m partying at a club, but I won’t love the DJ for putting it on either.

MALTA -  Claudia Faniello “Breathlessly” - Another boring ballad stuck in the dead zone between “not bad” and “not great.”

MOLDOVA -  SunStroke Project “Hey, Mamma!” - Oh this is fun! I can dance to this one. Not masterpiece material but it doesn’t aspire to be one either. It brings the party, and that’s all it needs to do for a job well-done, I’d say.

MONTENEGRO -  Slavko Kalezić “Space” - I would rather spend the time staring into blank space. No thanks. 

THE NETHERLANDS -  OG3NE “Lights and shadows” - Like Estonia’s entry, this one is also a bit retro, with a dash of Glee thrown in as well. I know I definitely want them to qualify, and probably even end up on the left side of the chart during the finals, but something about the song just doesn’t quite do it for me.

NORWAY - JOWST “Grab the moment” - It’s growing on me. A lot of Norway’s songs tend to be growers for me. I don’t think it will quite get there though. 

POLAND - Kasia Moś “Flashlight” - This can either be a dark horse or a disaster depending on how she performs live and the staging. I fell in love with the music video version but the live version from the national final left me a bit flat. We’ll wait and see I suppose. 

PORTUGAL -  Salvador Sobral “Amar Pelos Dois” - Marvellously quaint, reminiscent of one’s best dreams under the Mediterranean sky, best enjoyed with headphones and your eyes closed...WAIT. “Your eyes closed?” Yeah, that’s my main worry with this song. Someone please get that boy a good stylist so that he doesn’t look like a library-dwelling classics major pulled on-stage last minute after a week of all-nighters. And add some better staging too. But, yeah, best wishes for a top-five finish Portugal!

ROMANIA -  Ilinca feat. Alex Florea “Yodel it!” - I am reminded of how much I came to love “My Slowanie” from Poland. It never pretends to be anything deep or profound, but Ilinca just sells it so well. 

RUSSIA -  Yulia Samoylova “Flame is burning” - Funny that Russia chose a song with this title... Politics and transparent appeal for sympathy points to counteract booing and flaming aside, it’s an okay song and she’s not necessarily a bad singer, but by GOD if you can’t even fake passable English by hiring any half-way decent diction coach then stick to Russian!

SAN MARINO -  Valentina Monetta & Jimmie Wilson “Spirit of the night” - It’s fine, I guess. Just heard it again in the last hour but already forgot how it went.

SERBIA -  Tijana Bogićević “In too deep” - See last comment.

SLOVENIA -  Omar Naber “On my way” - *Facepalm*. Enough said.

SPAIN -  Manel Navarro “Do it for your lover” - Makes the last one I commented on sound decent, if not good, by comparison.

SWEDEN -  Robin Bengtsson “I can’t go on” - What happened Sweden? You’ve been going downhill since Mans in 2015. I always want to vote for Sweden because they host it so well but this definitely sound like they are trying their hardest to avoid Sweden2018. Not even my everlasting love for Petra (+Mans) as the host will make this less cringeworthy. 

SWITZERLAND -  Timebelle “Apollo” - I quite like it. Despite myself. The red dress she wore during live performance certainly doesn’t hurt. 

UKRAINE -  O.Torvald “Time” - Definitely refreshing, and mad points to Ukraine for the second entry in a row that’s different from the Eurovision norm, but this isn’t exactly good rock is it? 

UNITED KINGDOM -  Lucie Jones “Never give up on you” - Good showing for UK. In general? Not so much. Kind of like Denmark this year, really, with a combination of good vocalist and subpar song, but this song is a step (or two. or three) down from Denmark’s. 

Top 3 Picks:

Italy - “Occidentali’s Karma,” Francesco Gabbani

France - “Requiem,” Alma

Portugal - “Amar Pelos Dois,” Salvador Sobral

(I’m noticing a theme for my top picks...)

[swimmersdaily]

Golden rush: Russia–Italy 2-2, 10-7 in overall

Two titles for Russia and Italy apiece, these were the highlights of Day 4 at the European Junior Swimming Championships in Kazan, plus another gold and a silver for Germany’s hopeful Isabel Gose. Belarus and the Czech Republic also grabbed their first wins respectively.

TURKEY SATIR Mert Ali, GUVENC Gizem, DEMIR Demirkan, OZKAN Aleyna 4×100 medley relay mixed Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) GERMANY HEIMRATH Magdalena GER, MAERTENS Lukas GER, ARMBRUSTER Luca Nik GER, TOBEHN Maya GER 4×100 medley relay mixed Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) RUSSIA MINAKOV Andrei RUS, ZHIGALOV Aleksandr RUS, SABITOVA Aleksandra RUS, VASKINA Daria RUS 4×100 medley relay mixed Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) GOSE Isabel Marie GER, COCCONCELLI Costanza ITA, NIKONOVA Ekaterina RUS 50 freestyle women Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) NEVMOVENKO Polina RUS, GOSE Isabel Marie GER, TOBEHN Maya GER 200 freestyle women Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) RUSSIA MINAKOV Andrei RUS, ZHIGALOV Aleksandr RUS, SABITOVA Aleksandra RUS, VASKINA Daria RUS 4×100 medley relay mixed Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) GERMANY, RUSSIA, TURKEY 4×100 medley relay mixed Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) ZUEV Nikolai RUS, CECCON Thomas ITA, SAMUSENKO Pavel RUS 50 backstroke men Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) GOSE Isabel Marie GER, COCCONCELLI Costanza ITA, NIKONOVA Ekaterina RUS 50 freestyle women Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) EGOROV Aleksandr RUS, SIBIRTSEV Ilia RUS, SCHWARZ Sven GER 800 freestyle menMedal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

TURKEY SATIR Mert Ali, GUVENC Gizem, DEMIR Demirkan, OZKAN Aleyna 4×100 medley relay mixed Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) TURKEY SATIR Mert Ali, GUVENC Gizem, DEMIR Demirkan, OZKAN Aleyna 4×100 medley relay mixed Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) GOSE Isabel Marie GER, COCCONCELLI Costanza ITA, NIKONOVA Ekaterina RUS 50 freestyle women Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) SABITOVA Aleksandra RUS, SHKURDAI Anastasiya BLR, BIASIBETTI Helena ITA 100 butterfly women Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) NEVMOVENKO Polina RUS, GOSE Isabel Marie GER, TOBEHN Maya GER 200 freestyle women Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

(L to R) TOMAC Mewen FRA, CEJKA Jan CZE, DOLOMANOV Egor RUS TOMAC Mewen FRA, CEJKA Jan CZE, DOLOMANOV Egor RUS Medal Ceremony LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

RICHARDS Matthew GBR 200 freestyle men LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

DJAKOVIC Antonio SUI 200 freestyle men LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

CECCON Thomas ITA 50 backstroke men LEN European Swimming Junior Championships 2019 Aquatic Palace Kazan Day 4 06/07/2019 Photo G.Scala/Deepbluemedia/Insidefoto

Champions, Day 4

Men. 800m free: Ilia Sibirtsev (RUS) 7:54.83 CR. 50m back: Thomas Ceccon (ITA) 25.24. 200m back: Jan Cejka (CZE) 1:57.51

Women. 50m free: Constanza Cocconelli (ITA) 25.25. 200m free: Marie Isabel Gose (GER) 1:57.51 CR. 100m fly: Anastasia Shkurdai (BLR) 57.39 CR.

Mixed. 4x100m medley: Russia 3:49.13

Italy and Russia are the leading forces in this edition of the junior Europeans. The hosts are the frontrunners in collecting silverware, already bagged 28 medals while Italy got 13 (just as the Germans) but the Italians keep up at least in gold-mining.

Today Ilia Sibirtsev and Alexandr Egorov delivered a 1-2 for the home nation, it was a brilliant duel in the 800m free. Sibirtsev led all the way and even though Egorov staged a late surge but couldn’t get closer than the 0.51sec separated them. Another gold arrived in the mixed relay but these were only the victories as the team amassed nine medals on the penultimate day, 2 golds, 4 silvers and 3 bronzes.

For the Italians it took less time to grab two golds: Constanza Cocconelli stormed to a fine win in the 50m free, and just minutes later Thomas Ceccon won the 50m free (he also won the 100m on Day 2). Interestingly, these two triumphs required almost identical times (25.25 and 25.24sec), and both Italians managed to out-touch the respective runners-up by 0.05sec.

For those in love with the numbers, another interesting fact that Czech Jan Cejka won the 200m back with exactly the same time (1:57.71) what Isabel Gose clocked in the 200m free. The German was just that 0.05sec away from making another brilliant double: she did the 100m-400m on Day 2 and almost repeated that over the 50m-200m. After her fine with in the 200m (with a new CR), she earned a silver in the dash behind Cocconelli.

Another CR was smashed in the 100m fly, Anastasia Shkurdai lowered her own best effort clocked in the semis, though the Belorussian was still dissatisfied saying she would need much more to excel among the seniors.

Quotes from the winners

Jan Cejka (CZE), 200m back

“It’s amazing. I could never imagine that I am able to swim as fast like this. By far my best time ever. Well, when I qualified in the first place to the final I thought I could win but what was really amazing was the time. Everything really came together.”

Marie Isabel Gose (GER), 200m free

“I’m absolutely satisfied with this day! I’ve never imagined I could beat the Championship Record in the 200m and you see, it’s there. So I’m really happy. The 50m was a bonus. And I’m second. No, I don’t mind that it was only 0.05 (between her and the winner). I’m really happy now!”

Anastasia Shkurdai (BLR), 100m fly

“I’m not really happy with this result. It’s good to win this race but this result counts good only among the juniors. At senior level I need much better times. So I have to work really hard to achieve something big among the seniors.”

Ilia Sibirtsev (RUS), 800m free

“We’ve been swimming together with Sasha (Alexandr Egorov, silver medallist) for five years, finishing 1-2 every time. He is not my rival, but like my brother. Now it was my turn. There was no specific plan, just swim. Making every 100m harder and harder. It’s a great feeling to win this gold.”

Thomas Ceccon (ITA), 50m back

“Since the 50m is not my main event I am happy with the gold. My PB is 25.1, so the time is OK after all. Too bad that the relay came right after the final.”

Constanza Cocconelli (ITA), 50m free

“That’s such a great feeling to achieve this time. I did my personal best in the semi-final in the afternoon and I’ve never thought that I could do that much better in the final. When I looked at the scoreboard I couldn’t believe my time. That’s so important, it shows that it’s good to do the hard work in the trainings.”

Medal table after Day 4

Country Gold Silver Bronze Total Russia 10 10 8 28 Italy 7 3 3 13 Germany 5 5 3 13 Switzerland 2 0 0 2 Hungary 1 3 2 6 Great Britain 1 2 4 7 Czech Rep 1 0 2 3 Belarus 1 0 1 2 Greece 1 0 1 2 Ukraine 1 0 1 2 Spain 1 0 0 1 Israel 0 2 1 3 Turkey 0 2 1 3 France 0 1 2 3 Netherlands 0 1 1 2 Sweden 0 1 1 2 Lithuania 0 1 0 1 Finland 0 0 1 1

  For detailed results, please visit http://ejc2019.microplustiming.com/indexEJC2019_web.php

Press release from LEN, photos courtesy of Deepbluemedia / Giorgio Scala

Kazan 2019 European Junior Swimming Championships Day 4: 2-2 titles for RUS, ITA Golden rush: Russia–Italy 2-2, 10-7 in overall Two titles for Russia and Italy apiece, these were the highlights of Day 4 at the European Junior Swimming Championships in Kazan, plus another gold and a silver for Germany’s hopeful Isabel Gose.