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planet-mabel · 5 months ago

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book thief - niall horan

an: hellooo!!!! i was reading at the beach and could not get this idea out of my head so HERE WE ARE!! i hope you enjoy :) I'm cooking up part two right now

summary: a trip to bora bora leads to bumping into niall horan by the pool and accidentally swapping books!

wc: 1.8k

what i was listening to:

As I disembark from the plane, weary from the long flight and craving a good meal, I step into the Bora Bora airport. I've treated myself to a solo stay at a delightful resort here for the week, and the anticipation of this moment has been a beacon of joy during my busy days back in NYC. I yearn for some well-deserved relaxation, as the incessant bustle of New York's streets and blaring car horns can be overwhelming at times. As I make my way towards the baggage claim area, I take a moment to savor the view from the airport windows. Though it's just a glimpse, I can see fragments of swaying palm trees, and a sense of tranquility washes over me. Leaning against the baggage trolley, I pause, eagerly awaiting the familiar "beep" that signals the arrival of our luggage.

I catch sight of my obnoxious purple suitcase as it comes around the conveyor belt and quickly snatch it before heading over to the shuttle bus waiting to take me to the resort. After stowing my suitcase in the overhead compartment, I sink into the luxurious seat on the bus. While waiting for the other passengers to board, I take a moment to text my friends and family to let them know I've arrived. The bus engine roars to life as we set off down the road. I glance up from my phone and out of the window, cranking up the music in my headphones. I take in the beautiful scenery as we wind our way toward the resort. Looking around at my fellow passengers, I notice that they are all families and couples. A faint feeling of loneliness creeps in as I realize I'm traveling alone.

I let out a deep sigh, gazing out of the window at the serene, azure skies and the gentle, rhythmic dance of the palm trees swaying in the breeze, attempting to distract myself from the overwhelming sense of isolation.

As the shuttle comes to a stop at the resort, the passengers begin to disembark, and I patiently wait for my turn. Once off the shuttle, I make my way to the front desk with my bags, eagerly anticipating some rest and relaxation in my room. I provide my name and reservation to the woman at the front desk, and the concierge swiftly arranges for my bags to be taken up to my room. The humidity of the Polynesian air causes my t-shirt to cling to my skin as I wait.

While the woman prepares my room key, I glance at a man nearby who is also checking in. His accent intrigues me, and I find myself admiring his appearance. I'm momentarily lost in thought until the woman's clearing of her throat brings me back to the present. After receiving the room key, I exchange a tight smile with the woman and mutter a quiet 'thank you.' As I head towards the elevator, I briefly meet the man's gaze before pressing the button and entering the elevator. I select the third floor, my hand tightening around the room key as the elevator ascends.

I stumble into my room, weary from the day's travel, and collapse onto the plush duvet covering the bed. Propping myself up on my elbows, I take in the surroundings. The TV faces the foot of the bed, and a familiar mini fridge rests beneath it. To the side, a closet is built into the wall, and opposite that, a sleek desk catches my eye. Across from the entrance, a sliding glass door beckons me to venture out onto the petite balcony. I rise to my feet and make my way to the small mezzanine, stepping outside to be embraced by a balmy breeze and a mesmerizing vista. I pause, closing my eyes, letting the scenery wash over me.

After re-entering the room, I gently closed the door and made my way to the luxurious en suite bathroom. I marveled at the elegant plumbing and the spacious, extravagant shower. I couldn't help but let out a whistle of admiration, feeling impressed by the lavish amenities, almost forgetting that I had only booked this place for a week but paid the equivalent of a month's rent.

I let out a contented sigh and realized that I deserved to unwind by the pool for the rest of the day. Without bothering to unpack, I quickly slip into the first bikini I lay my eyes on - a vibrant, eye-catching pink one. After ensuring that I'm thoroughly coated in sunscreen and throwing on a comfortable t-shirt for extra coverage, I grab my purse and the book I've been meaning to read. As I make my way out, I return to the elevator and descend back down to the lobby.

I hurry downstairs and make a beeline for the pool, scanning for an unoccupied, plush reclining chair. As soon as I find one, I eagerly lay down my belongings beside it, exhaling contentedly. After slipping on my sunglasses and discarding my t-shirt, I settle back, flipping through the pages of my book to pick up where I left off during the plane ride. The book in my hands is 'Violet Bent Backwards over the Grass' by Lana Del Rey. It may seem a bit unexpected for a beach trip, but I have a fondness for poetry and adore Lana Del Rey, so I thought it was worth a chance. Immersing myself back into the pages, I lose track of time, captured by the words on the pages.

I slowly rise from my lounge chair, feeling the stickiness on my back from the sun's rays. Deciding it's time to take a break from tanning, I toss my book onto my chair and head towards the glistening pool to cool off. As I settle by the water's edge, I take in the mesmerizing sight of the swirling pool while dipping my toes into the refreshing water. Surprisingly, the area is deserted, giving me the perfect opportunity to submerge myself in the pool. I resurface, gently wiping my eyes before reclining on my back and savoring a tranquil moment, finding relief from the intense heat of the island air.

I emerge from the water, climbing the steps in the shallow end. The droplets slide off my glistening skin as I make my way to my chair. As I approach, I notice a man sitting in the chair next to mine. I recognize him as the guy I saw in the lobby, engrossed in a book. I glance around at the empty seats on the pool deck, wondering why he chose the one next to me, and furrow my brow in mild irritation. Despite my annoyance, I take a moment to study his appearance. His unkempt brown hair and pointed nose catch my attention, as does the way his scruffy stubble complements his deep blue eyes. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I finally reach for my towel. I clear my throat to catch his attention and he looks up from his book, smiling softly. He gestures to the book in his hand and I immediately clock it as ‘Violet Bent Backwards over the Grass', the same one I’m reading. I glance down at my chair in search of my copy, not completely sure he didn’t swipe mine. I clear my throat to capture his attention before speaking.

"Excuse me?" I managed to pipe up, my voice a blend of nervousness and amusement. "I think that might be my book." With my towel wrapped tightly around me, I glanced down at him. He met my gaze and then looked down at the book in his hands before responding.

"Oops, my mistake," he chuckled and handed the book back to me. "I noticed it here and thought someone must have left it behind. The title seemed intriguing." I reclaimed the book and settled back into my chair. "I didn't even realize you were here, geez. If I had known, I wouldn't have sat so close." His over-apologetic tone made me chuckle softly.

"No, it's okay. I'm traveling alone, so I appreciate the company," I assured him, readjusting in my seat. "Have you read it? It's a good book, isn't it?" I say enthusiastically as I glance back at him, thumbing through the pages again. He nods before replying.

"Absolutely! I can't resist a well-crafted poem," he responds with a nod, gesturing toward the book of poems resting on the arm of his lounge chair. I let out a soft chuckle in response.

"Ah, cool. Nice to meet another poetry enthusiast," I say with a smile before returning my attention to my book. I sense his persistent gaze on me before he speaks again.

"You mentioned you're traveling alone?" he inquires. "So am I." I look up from my book, slightly puzzled.

"You? Why's that?" I ask, marking my place in the book and placing it on my lap.

"You first," he counter-challenges.

I shrug before responding, "Just needed a break. New York can be overwhelming at times, and none of my friends were up for splurging on a vacation," I explain, gesturing dramatically. "So, here I am, flying solo." I give a somewhat forced grin, and he chuckles.

"Same here," he remarks, leaning back in his beach chair. "You mentioned New York City? Sounds exciting," he comments. I nod slightly.

"Yeah, mostly. How about you?" I inquired, curious to confirm my suspicion about his distinct accent.

"Dublin," he declares proudly. "Dublin, Ireland." I raise an eyebrow.

"So that's where the accent comes from," I remark slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't have an accent; you have an accent," he retorts playfully, feigning a scowl, which elicits a soft giggle from me. He grins at me, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"Well, I should head back to my room. The chlorine always does weird things to my hair," I say with a soft chuckle as I pick up my bag and wrap my towel around my waist. He sits up in his beach chair to look at me.

"Hey, let me buy you a drink later," he suggests, gazing up at me. I take in his shirtless form reclining on the chair in front of me and for a moment, I struggle to find my words.

"Um, well, okay," I say hesitantly before regaining my composure. "Yes, that sounds good." I offer a soft smile, trying to conceal my unease.

He nods and continues, "I'll see you at eight at the hotel bar." He stands up and I nod in response.

an"I'll see you, book thief," before giving a small chuckle and walking from the pool deck back into the lobby. As I leisurely make my way back to the door, I hear his quiet laughter echoing behind me. A grin spreads across my face, and in that moment, I feel as lighthearted and carefree as I did in my teenage years.

#niall horan #niall #one direction #bora bora #niall horan x reader #niall horan fanfiction #planet-mabel #Spotify

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mur4sak1 · 10 months ago

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How would genshin men react to seeing you in a dress?

A/N: Remember that English is not my first language so I hope I wrote in the best way <3

Situation: that day in the city there was a big celebration that had animated the whole town. The people were elegantly dressed, they laughed, lived and joked, filling even the smallest streets with joy. Due to the size of the city you and your man hadn’t met yet, until he, searching through the crowd, managed to see your face. But due to your appearance he was unable to immediately approach you.

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Wriothesley, Alhaitham, Kaveh

Diluc=People's shouts of joy could be heard from every corner of the city and they were so loud that they even echoed inside the buildings. Diluc, who until now had been working in his studio, was ready to go to the streets to enjoy the last moments of the party. As soon as he went out the structure, the muffled music that could be heard from the rooms was louder than ever, giving him a bit of relif after so many hours of effort. He went down the stairs of the city until he reached the long balcony overlooking the main square, tiredly leaning on it with his arms. His eyes looked at the crowd dancing casually and without following the rhythm throughout the area until a group of them fell, perhaps because they were too drunk. A laugh escapes from Diluc's lips which makes him roll his eyes at the clumsiness of what he had seen. However, a girl arrives to help the men on the ground to get up, she was dressed very well in a long tight dress which highlighted her curves and with his back free from tissue, illuminated by the light of the setting sun. The group thanked her and staggered away and Diluc thought of how kind she was to help them, even if the fault of that situation was theirs. The woman turned and the redhead immediately recognized your face, even though it was very far away; he had always seen something more in you and this event sparked something and him. It was so obvious, his face had turned the same color as his hair, a scene that if Kaeya had seen it, it would have been a great excuse to make fun of his brother for life.

Kaeya=The celebration in Mondstadt heated up the streets. Everyone was joyful, excited and drunk, and Kaeya loved to take advantage of these situations to flirt with anyone he could see and then walk away without accomplishing anything, just to have fun, just for the sake of feeling powerful. The crowd had gathered under the statue of the archon anemo and loud music led everyone to a free and wild dance that filled the square. The blue-haired man was leaning against the side wall of the church, surrounded by a few women who drooled over him and asked to tell them all his amazing adventures. “…and that's how I defeated a horde of Hilichurl completely alone” he concluded proudly while the women listened to him impatiently, as if they couldn't contain their excitement. As he spoke, focused on driving the desperate ones even more crazy, he saw a female figure pass in front of him. She was too focused on carrying a large bouquet of yellow flowers in her arms and not tripping over her heels to care about anyone around her. The long floral dress she wore fell softly on her hips, leaving her chest partially empty and allowing the flowers direct contact with her skin. The long hair had a few small green leaves, probably blown away by the wind from the bouquet and landed there; Kaeya had noticed all this in a couple of seconds. She walked along the entire pathway alongside the church and then approached an elderly lady and, crouching down slightly due to his short height, handed her the large bouquet. When she stood up she shook his dress and moved his head to make any residue fall out. It was in that moment that Kaeya recognized you, brighter than any little girl present, the only woman he really wanted and that, for some reason, he could never get. The old lady thanked you and you lowered your head slight, and then joined Barbara and Amber who were talking not far away. Having disappeared from his vision, Kaeya regained his composure and this allowed his attention to return to the small crowd surrounding him which was now bothering him quite a bit. “Okay misses, story finished, I have to go now” he said, then he made space between the women and walked away. In return he received disappointed gasps, but he didn’t care anymore, those women no longer interested him. He just wanted to get rid of it so he could finally reach you and try, for the umpteenth time, to conquer you... but you weren't going to give him an easy win.

Wriothesley=The festivals in Fontaine were always large and involved all members of the big region. The city was decorated in every corner, filled with various activities and food stands to spend the day in company. That year Furina was extremely excited by the idea and decided to give all of her employees the day off so that they too could appreciate and enjoy the hard work that was behind the creation. It was now late morning and Wriothesley was walking through the streets near Neuvilette while they were looking for a place to have lunch; they were sure that everyone would share their idea shortly, so they hurried and entered in a small pub that made the best sandwiches in the city to avoid a painful and long row of people. As soon as they entered, however, they found a crowd of drunk figures laughing and dancing to the music in the large area surrounding the counter. With his hands in his pockets, Wriothesley followed his friend to the cash desk, ready to order lunch and leave the restaurant as soon as possible. As he was selecting his choice from the menu, heard Neuvilette say hello to someone, and as he looked up, he saw Navia sitting at the counter with a beer in her hands. The man greeted her with a nod and returned to concentrating on his lunch. At a certain point his attention was called again by the woman's words “and don't you say hello to y/n?”. Wriothesley was confused, he was always alert and attentive to everything! You weren't there, otherwise he would have definitely seen you! But he was wrong...he looked up again and behind the blonde he saw a familiar figure in a tight short dress and high black boots, with loose hair framing her lightly made-up face. Their gazes met and the man immediately recognized your eyes, being struck by your appearance. He had never seen you so elegant... of course, he had always considered you an attractive woman in work clothes but he would never have imagined that you could be so attractive in a simple dress. “Won't you say hello to me Wrio?” You replied with a light laugh. Finally the man regained his composure and greeted you, but did so with a slight stutter. This made Neuvilette frown, and as he looked closer at Wriothesley, he immediately understood why. So he immediately turned to Navia and asked her if they could go for a walk around the outside streets to discuss some work things. Initially she refused because she wanted to enjoy the party with her friend and without thinking about duties. The man, however, looked at her intensely, pointing to something in the dark-haired that made her burst out laughing. Still in ecstasy, she stood up and started to leave for the fateful work talk, laughing. Maybe due to the alcohol or the liveliness of the moment but what she said to Wriothesley made him blush and become even more agitated than he already was: "If I were you I would keep more control of your friend in public hahahah". In fact the man hadn't realized it but y/n's dress had not only left him speechless, but also the one who was creating the bulge under his trousers.

Alhaitham=It was now late afternoon and the party was coming to an end. The tired group of people was slowly decreasing and everyone was heading back to their homes. Alhaitham had walked alongside Tighnari all day as they tried, in vain, to contain Kaveh's contagious enthusiasm at every stand they passed. The city was not very large in size, but the numerous and intricate streets that were used as elevators to go up to the upper floors of the structure made it like a labyrinth and it was difficult to meet family figures. In fact, the man had not met you even once and this was remarked several times during the afternoon by Kaveh, who seemed to be your biggest admirer. Now half drunk, Alhaitham took him home and made him lie down on the bed, where he fell into a deep sleep. He went into the kitchen to prepare a quick dinner but while he was waiting for the water to boil to prepare a soup, his thoughts constantly ran to all those times that, after hearing your name from the mouth of his roommate, he searched for your face in in the middle of the crowd, without however having any results. Since he was a resolute man he decided to leave the house for a walk, in the hope of putting peace to the confusion in his head. By now the streets were deserted and walking had become much easier and more relaxing than it had been in the previous hours. Alhaitham took a small road that climbed upwards to reach a small gazebo that he loved so much, because it was isolated and had a magnificent view. He mentally retraced the road: as soon as he finished the short covered corridor he would have to turn left. He took the last steps but as soon as he turned around he realized that his isolated spot was actually already occupied. There was a woman from behind, sitting on a small stone bench, with her face turned towards the red sunset, the light wind was moving her hair and with it the hem of the short dress she was wearing. For the first time Alhaitham could not think; he was known for his intellectual qualities superior to the norm, and for always being a rational and cautious man in his actions. But this time it was as if his mind was turned off, struck by what his eyes were seeing. The woman moved her face slightly to observe the view from the other side too and the man immediately understood who he was looking at, it was you. The rotation of your head caused you to glimpse a male figure, gasping in fear. “Oh it's you Al, you scared me” you said giggling heavily, relieved it was him. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just didn't recognize you dressed like that,” he said, finally managing to compose himself. “The view from here is beautiful, right?” you said, turning your gaze to cover your embarrassment. The man answered after a while with a simple "definitely", which however was certainly not aimed at the sunset, but rather at the one thing that his eyes could no longer stop looking at. “Will you sit here with me or will you stand the whole time?” you asked, finally making the man come forward and sit next to you. You two looked at the sky for some time, in silence, without saying a word. However, if the two had opened their ears more, they would have heard a familiar laugh of joy coming from not far away; it was Kaveh who, woken up by the fall of the boiling pot, had gone out to get angry at Al for not paying attention but found him, after not a short time, with you. This made him explode with joy because he knew in his heart that he was partly the cause of everything that was happening, but also of his friend's first and only irresponsible behavior for which he could have teased him for a lot.

Kaveh=The city was so full of people that many had started to pass among the tables where other people were eating and drinking together. In fact, Cyno complained several times about this behavior while he was at a small square table with Kaveh, Alhaitham and Tighnari eating some skewers. The party was desert themed and for this reason you could occasionally see some child dressed as an Egyptian deity running through the crowd and stumbling due to the long white fabrics and the mask that partially covered their vision. Between one laugh and the next, time passed quickly but not having seen you yet caused a small sadness in Kaveh that he tried, as usual, to hide by transforming himself into the life of the party. After a couple of hours the boys were still sitting at the table talking about this and that when the blond felt hands covering his eyes and a figure standing out behind him. "Who is?" he asked . "Guess!". He immediately recognized your voice and showed the joy he had of knowing you were close with a big smile. “Y/n I know it's you, now let me see” he said laughing. You immediately did as requested and gave him a big hug from behind, wrapping your arms around his slender shoulders. Then you broke away and went to the other side of the table to say hello to all the boys. Due to the fact that you had suddenly appeared from behind, Kaveh hadn't yet been able to see you properly, but when he found yourself in his visual field, the boy was amazed. You wore a long white satin dress with two holes in the sides from which hung chains full of diamonds and gold decorations. The arms were covered by a thin white veil attached to the dress by a single seam at breast level while the back was completely empty, exept for a chain that started from the shoulders and went down in a "Y" shape until it found the fabric. In her hair there was a pin with a white flower and the face was decorated with long black eyeliner. Throughout the greetings, Kaveh had his eyes fixed on your outfit, so much that he didn't even realize that you were in the company of Collei (who was also equally dressed in the theme of the party) who immediately handed you a drink. The girl asked if you and her could join them and, after a positive nod from Tighnari, pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. You also did the same thing, but sat between Kaveh and Cyno. There was so much chaos and it was difficult to communicate between the music and the singing crowd. You sipped the drink your friend had offered you for the first time, exclaiming out loud that it tasted great, sure that no one had heard you. In reality you were wrong, as Kaveh took the moment to get close to your ear and whisper a phrase that would surely soon have more than unexpected results: "you're very good too".

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #kaeya alberich #kaeya #genshin impact kaeya #diluc ragnvindr #diluc #diluc x reader #wriothesley #wriothesely x reader #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #kaveh #kaveh x reader

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artistinquestion · 4 months ago

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The Empress of Rome

Part Six

Emperor Geta x OC

Warnings: none.

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: husband and wife reunite and fawn over their newborn children.

Author's Note: Here it is, what would be the final part of my Empress of Rome series. I managed to finish this up today after visiting with family. That being said I am willing to write either a sequel or prequel to this series, but I would like to see the actual movie before writing anything further for Emperor Geta. if you have any questions about this series or anything you want to see about this series in the future please feel free to send me asks for anything you want to know about my ocs! Thank you so much for enjoying my writing and for giving me support!

Resting in her bed now, the empress waited anxiously for her children to be returned to her, hoping to the gods she still had two children after this. She didn't know what she would do if only the boy was spared.

Biting anxiously at her nails, Cassia didn't have to wait long before the doors to her chambers opened. Her heart stopped when Julia only returned with one baby in her arms, but the empress was quickly relieved when she saw a servant following after her carrying the other. Tears flooded Cassia’s eyes as she saw the two bundles being held in the same room, smiles on the servant and Julia's faces. Cassia instantly held out her arms towards her babies, having waited seemingly forever for this moment.

Julia placed the first baby into Cassia’s arms, a healthy, beautiful girl. She cooed softly, unable to contain her joy at finally holding her daughter. The second baby, a boy, was placed into the empress's arms, and she gasped, overcome with emotion.

"My darlings." Cassia whispered shakily, almost unbelieving as she held her life in her arms.

Twins.

A boy and a girl.

"Oh thank the gods!" She sobbed out, holding both babes close to her chest as tears of joy and relief streamed down her face. As the empress held her twins close a sense of peace washed over her, the long months of worrying now having been washed away, replaced by the overwhelming joy and relief she felt in that moment.

Whispering soft words of love to the two babes in her arms, thanking the gods that both were alive and well, that Geta had given both of them life. The empress had her children, both of them.

Cassia was hesitant when the midwives came over to collect the two babes, promising to return them to their mother after cleaning and swaddling them both. The new mother watching as the servants helped assist the midwives, the physician giving both babes another look over to assure their health.

As the two infants were tended to, Cassia leaned back in her bed, exhausted but also filled with an unparalleled sense of accomplishment. The servants attention was then directed towards their empress, another servant having come from the hallway to speak to them before leaving, turning their attention towards the tired woman of power.

"We will help clean you up now, Augusta. The emperor wishes to see you," a servant informed her as they came to her bedside, helping her sit upright. Cassia nodded in response before letting the servants carefully help her into a fresh robe, her old one soaked from sweat blood from her labor. As they helped her onto unsteady feet, she leaned on them for support feeling a mix of pain and euphoria from giving birth.

The others quickly changed the bedding before allowing the empress to recline back once more on the bed. One tending to her hair to make it somewhat presentable, to appear as if there was no struggle during labor and that the empress remained radiant.

As the servants finished their tasks of tidying up the room, the midwives also finished with the babies coming to return them into their mother’s arms. To which Cassia greatly accepted, the empress practically beaming as she held both children in her arms once again.

Looking down at the two, Cassia began to take in the small differences between the two. Their daughter having a small patch of golden orange curls atop her head, whilst the boy had curls a shade lighter, a mix between Geta and Cassia’s hair colors. Neither babe’s eyes had opened yet, both just as exhausted as their mother was delivering them.

The sound of the doors to her chambers opening, briefly took the empress’s attention away from her little ones in her arms. The empress lifting her head to see who had entered, her eyes landing on her husband as he entered her chambers. The servants, midwives, and physician alike all bowed their heads as the emperor entered the room. But luckily for them the emperor had no intentions on giving them his attention.

The emperor made his way over to his wife’s bedside, his dark eyes trailing from his children in her arms to his wife’s face.

“You did well, my love. Our children are healthy and beautiful” Geta commented, his hand going to gently caress the head of the baby held closest to him.

Cassia smiles softly “thank you, husband.” She says with a sigh, her gaze falling to the two infants sleeping in her arms. “Would you like to hold your heir, your grace?” She asked, gently angling their infant son in her right arm.

Geta seemed to be in thought for a moment as he gazed down at their children. His eyes flicking between the two, as if trying to discern which was which.

“I think I’d like to hold my firstborn once more, if my lady doesn’t mind” Geta spoke, his hand still caressing their daughter’s head. Cassia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, shocked that her husband wants to hold their daughter as opposed to his heir.

“But ofcourse,” she replied, watching as her husband gently took their daughter from her left arm. His hands which had harmed, maimed, and killed many a man were now so careful when holding their baby girl in his grasp, angling her in his arms so she was comfortably nestled.

Her husband had surprised her that day, giving their daughter life when they didn’t know for sure a son would follow. Now he held their daughter as if she were one of the most important things in the world. It was odd to see a man like Geta so soft with an infant all bundled in his arms. It was a sight that Cassia had to admire while it lasted, cradling their son in her arms.

“You gave our daughter life, for that I am thankful, husband” Cassia commented, gently rocking their son in her arms.

Geta’s eyes looked up from their daughter, looking his wife in her eyes before returning his attentions to the babe. “I could never allow harm to come to either of our children. Especially not after your struggle to carry them and bring them into this world.” He responded, his voice full of empathy and admiration that Cassia was not aware he was capable of.

Giving a soft hum in acknowledgment, the empress looked from her husband and daughter back down to their son in her arms. “I would gladly suffer it again,” she replied, her finger trailing down her son’s soft cheek, smiling as he smiled in his sleep. Truly this was all worth it to her, every pain and every discomfort, for in the end she had two beautiful children.

“She is perfect.” Geta suddenly stated, his eyes locked on the face of their daughter as if entranced by her beauty and innocence. Cassia looked up at her husband, smiling at his words before looking down at the babe in her arms.

“They both are,” she stated in return.

Julia couldn’t help but watch with a sense of pride and joy as she watched the exchange between her son and his children, his love for his daughter evident. The couple sitting in silence as they both admired their newborn children, both finding happiness in their new roles as parents.

“You did well, my love. Rome will be in good hands with these two” the emperor spoke up once again, finally looking up from the baby girl and looking over to his wife again. The two sharing a silent understanding as they switched babes in their arms, the girl coming to rest in Cassia’s embrace while the emperor finally held his heir once again.

“They certainly will be loved, how could they not?” Cassia stated, smiling as she saw their daughter starting to open her eyes from being moved from her parent’s arms. She had her father’s eyes, the empress thought. Their daughter the spitting image of Geta from the hair to the eyes. She only hoped she didn’t inherit his personality as well.

“We could not have asked for a more perfect pair, or a more perfect heir” Geta stated as he held his son proudly in his arms a smile on his face, a smile of pride not as soft as the smile he wore when holding their daughter.

This was his son.

His heir.

Though the emperor was absolutely in love with their daughter from the moment he held her in his arms, his son would be his pride. The one he would shape into a future ruler of Rome. But a daughter he could spoil, let her grow without the weight of ruling weighing her down as she grew. Both of course he would love with all his heart, but his love for his children would be different.

“You are happy with them, husband?” Cassia asked, looking over to the cruel man she knew as her husband, having softened by the birth of his children.

“I am overjoyed, my love. To think the gods decided to gift us with two, it is truly a blessing” the emperor responded as he held their son closer, the warm weight against his chest. His hand moved gently, shifting the weight of their son to one arm as his hand coming up to stroke the side of his wife’s face, fingers tilting her jaw so she was looking up at him.

“Thank you, my love. I cannot express how grateful I am to you for this gift you have given me” he whispered, his voice filled with sincerity.

Cassia smiled up at her husband, her hand coming up to grasp his wrist, kissing his hand in response before he leaned down and captured her lips with his own. The babies gurgling in their arms as their parents shared a rare, intimate moment.

As they parted, Geta looked around the room towards a pair of servants, gesturing for them to come and take the children from his and Cassia’s embrace.

“And now, my love, I believe you have earned some long awaited rest” Geta stated as he passed his son safely into the servants arms. The other servant coming and taking the girl from the empress’s arms.

Cassia sighed, though the idea of parting from her children made tugged at her heartstrings, she knew her husband was right, and she was more than ready to give in to her exhaustion.

“I believe you are right, husband.” She replied, beginning to settle back into the comfort of her bed for the first time in days now.

Geta turned to his wife once more, this time taking her face in both his hands, looking her in the eyes before he kissed her lips again. Cassia greatly accepting her husband’s affections before he would part from her again, leaving her to her rest.

#emperor geta x oc #gladiator 2 #gladiator ii #emperor geta #joseph quinn x reader #oc x canon

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thebadboyfanclub · 2 years ago

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She Has Your Eyes Pt. 1 (Daemon x Reader)

Alright man, this was entirely too long to put in one part, this is only part one and it’s 3k words long so let’s see how this part goes and we figure out the rest

The north has always been quite different when it came to their traditions, there was no exceptions or favouritism when it came to their children, especially when the children where Starks, to be born in the house of the dire wolf it meant you would be as strong as your sigil, daughter or a son it had no meaning

The tourney in the north was held in her honour for her 15th nameday, every house send a representative to take part in the duel, how could they know? It was not often that they had the chance to hold a stick against a Stark lady.

When Daemon got up on his horse to fight against her he had made the mistake of underestimating her, foolishly assuming that he should go soft on lady (y/n), to say he was surprised when he got knocked off quite violently was an understatement, he could still remember (y/n) taking off her helmet and her dark raven hair falling out, her strong features and tall build was compelling.

“Such a shame, I expected better from a dragon”

Her chuckle as she toyed with his reputation was a thing that would usually make his blood boil, however he laid there dumbfounded, “what a woman” he had thought as she trotted around on her stallion, the armour shined under the sunlight and Daemon had finally found his worthy opponent.

“You did well lady (y/n)”

“Well? I could have easily slashed your head off your shoulders”

“I am very thankful you refrained from such act”

“It’s a pretty head”

“To be on my shoulders or served to you in a silver platter?”

“I have yet to decide”

“I know the hour is late, although it just came to me that we have yet to present you with a gift”

“I do love gifts”

“Follow me my lady”

When (y/n) was met with Caraxes a audible gasp escaped her as she came to a halt at the Dragon being a few feet away from her. Daemon only took her hand in his to guide her closer to his dragon, Caraxes remained calm until (y/n) came close enough to sniff her, (y/n) felt her blood freeze out of fear something that did not happen often, as Caraxes appeared to accept the princess since he did not try to eat her.

“How did you know your dragon would not try to kill me?”

“I did not”

“You fucker”

The experience of riding a dragon was euphoric, the sense of freedom it brought while (y/n)s entire body shook from joy and a small dosage of fear was intriguing to Daemon, feeling her nails dig into him as she held for dear life was a scene for sore eyes, Daemon had never experience such emotions for a woman prior this.

Alas as the small folk say “all good things come to an end” and Daemon had to depart from the North, memories are such a funny thing, he could swear it was yesterday that he gave (y/n) a sweet deep kiss and got on his dragon, heading back to kings landing his stomach was turning as the red keep got bigger and bigger, when Caraxes landed Daemon wanted to throw up, he brushed it off as anxiety now he would say it was his body trying to warn him, an instinct some would say.

King Jahaerys was a king of justice, (y/n) leaned on that trait to ease her nerves at the suggestion of her being betrothed to Daemon. However Jahaerys was also a calculated man, the north was a strong force but they were never a problem, so a marriage alliance was not needed, runestone though needed a match, a union to ease the bad blood.

“Why would they say no? I am an eligible match”

“You are the perfect match my love, I guess we were… late”

“So, this is goodbye”

“I am afraid… it is”

(Y/n) could not find the strength to walk away, neither could Daemon and there they stood gawking at one another, it was (y/n)s eyes which were filled with tears that caused a reaction out of Daemon to pull her in his arms, to caress her hair as her body trembled from the sobs.

“Do not mourn me my love, I will always be with you”

Daemon had no idea of how his words would take form in a love child, (y/n) was locked up in her room for the entirety of her pregnancy and her mother was the one that tended to her instead of servants. People talk, the family could not risk the rumour of a Targaryen bastard that belonged to a married prince it would tarnish (y/n)s reputation and even be the sole cause of a war, they kept her safe until they could figure out what should they do next.

Ayleen came into the world during a snow storm, (y/n) was in labour for a full day until the babes wail was finally booming through the room, (y/n) was so exhausted that she could not even hold the small babe, her mother had to assist her so (y/n) could take a good look of her first born.

“She looks like him”

She had whispered with tears falling like a stream on her flustered cheeks, choking on sobs that no one could identify if they were from joy, relief, pain or sadness, (y/n) herself was not aware as of why was she crying in her mothers arms, cursing herself for allowing her heart to lead her and her womb for creating such a perfect thing that would not know what the true meaning of a family is.

Daemon was at the other end of Westeros, so far from his princess, still that cursed night he could not get a wink of sleep, tossing and turning in his bed tormented by images of the Stark lover calling for him while in pure agony, they had been bind for life and now he was absent at the birth of their first born, but he could feel every lick of pain, every grunt and push like he was there.

It was the only time Daemon got on one knee to pray, asking for the old gods and the new to save his lover from all harm, to shield her and spare her, even offering his own life instead of hers.

Daemon was a ghost of himself, he had left all life and warmth in the north, (y/n) was all he could think about, what was she doing? Was she dreaming of the way they laid together? Has she found a husband? Was she happy? A man that was known for his unquestionable lust for women and their presence to warm his bed was now feeling sick at the mere suggestion of bedding another woman.

The one time that he tried to get Rhea to bed to at least consummate their marriage after downing all the wine he could find Daemon flinched at Rheas touch, harshly pushing her to wobble out of her room, falling on his knee in his room and repeatedly apologising to his true love.

The morrow of that day he rode his dragon to go North, nothing was worth such agony, he must go to her or else he would die, the closer he got the colour in his face appeared, it resembled a spell he was under that would only be resolved if he was with her.

“Where is (y/n)?”

“Not here”

“You are lying, why are you keeping her from me?”

“Prince Daemon”

“Fuck off with all of that, I want to see her”

“Daemon?”

Her voice barely above a whisper from behind him took him out of his trance. Once he turned to finally see her his jaw hit the floor, she was holding a child, a tiny creature wrapped up with blankets, Daemon was confused and slightly hurt, has she already moved on? Whom was it that impregnated her? She found the gall to bed another man?

“This is Ayleen, Ayleen this is your father”

“Father? Is she”

“Yours, ours”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You are married, I did not want to cause trouble in your”

“Unconsummated marriage”

(Y/n) was left speechless, she had found peace with the idea that she would never be around him again, she had their child, a part of him and a token of their love, she had mastered the strength to love the babe enough for the both of them.

Daemon approached her by dragging his feet, the second he could fully eyeball his daughter it was the moment he felt his heart beat so hard he thought it would come out his throat, she was so fragile, barely the size of his entire arm.

“May I hold her?”

(Y/n) let out a laugh at the question, slowly and with careful movements for the first time Daemon held his daughter, “Ayleen, my love child” he kept repeating in his brain.

“She is… I would kill for her”

“Let us hope we do not have to go to that”

“I missed it, I was not here, I could not… help you”

“I do not hold grudges Daemon, you couldn’t have possibly known”

“I failed you”

“You gave me a daughter”

“No I did not, you did it, you blessed me with the most amazing gift”

They both yearned for one another, like two moths attracted to the flame, unfortunately everyone knows how that story ends, howbeit for that moment, those very few days Daemon spend in the north with his love and daughter he had been ecstatic, to wake up next to her or see her put the babe to sleep while sitting in her rocking chair, softly signing a lullaby, every waking moment was his new found treasure.

“Give her this, it was my mothers and my grandmothers before that”

(Y/n) placed a necklace on Daemons open palm, she could barely hold herself up from the despair of being separated by her firstborn, “it would be better this way” (y/n)s mother attempted to soothe the girl that cried at the decision of Daemon taking their daughter to kings landing, deep inside she could understand the reason behind it, even that how could a mother not be in shambles over this? It simulates the pain of her heart being ripped straight out of her.

Daemon kept his daughter close to his chest as he walked in proudly to the throne room interrupting another “important” event, he couldn’t care less for what was occurring, the presence of his daughter was far more important. Viserys was stunned, to see your own brother strut in after so long with a child was shocking.

“I would like to present to the court, my first born daughter,princess Ayleen Targaryen, first of her name”

“Gods be good, the princess of runestone”

“No, princess Ayleen was not conceived in the Vale”

“If she is not from your wife… then”

“She is my daughter, a Targaryen, that is all that matters”

“My dearest love,

I hope this letters finds you and our daughter well, I have missed you dearly, the memory of the sound of your breathing while you laid next to me has been my lullaby as a drift off to slumber ever since you left the North.

You must find the strength to forgive me for not writing to you sooner, I pray you understand it has not been easy for me to adjust with you and our sweetling being away from me

I come with the best news, the Gods have blessed us with a son, a healthy little boy named Saemor, he was born 3 moons ago, I did not inform you due to how difficult this pregnancy has been, we feared he would not make it out alive.

Me and Saemor will be waiting for your arrival, come to me my love and bring our daughter with you, let us be a family even if we both know it won’t last long

Yours truly,

(Y/n)”

Daemon took this as his way out, to finally be free of the bronze Bitch and be with his true love, the mother of his now two children. When Daemon announced his departure so he could summon his second born Viserys was livid, a state that Viserys rarely took.

“Another bastard! You have stained our name forever”

“They are my rightful heirs”

“They are bastards, from an unknown woman whom you have repeatedly denied of mentioning, a low life whore you yourself are too embarrassed to reveal”

That was the last thing Daemon needed to hear, his lover had gone through one of the most painful experiences alone, frightened as her life was in danger, she survived and came out of it victorious, the scene of her holding their frail son burned his mind enough to send him over the edge.

Daemon pulled out his sword and attacked his on brother, the steel of black sister shined under the light as Daemon let it rest on Viserys neck, the king was certain he was about to be killed while Daemons eyes were demonic.

“She is my love, my beautiful wife that owns my heart, I should take your head for merely suggesting she is of low rank, I was cursed to marry a woman I despised while you were free to take the woman you loved”

“You are a mad man”

“Mayhaps, but one important rule is to never tell a mad man that they have gone mad”

Daemon was a man that had committed plenty of crimes, to kill your own brother, your blood, no that was beneath him. He pulled away his sword and just walked away, he was sure that Viserys would banish him, send him and his daughter away, Gods know what that cunt of a man Otto had whispered in his brothers ear, poisoning their bond forever.

None of it mattered any more, all he did was take his daughter up in the sky while she held on her dragon egg tightly and fleeted to his love, his Stark lady for refugee.

(Y/n) had seen Caraxes fly above her home, at once she was up on her feet and ran outside to greet him, she had not changed one bit, she was as ravishing as he remembered her to be, his soulmate wrapped her arms around him before he could even firmly land on his feet. Her embrace was all he needed to finally be able to breathe again, relief washing over him, she was alive and well, that itself meant that he could be happy.

“Ayleen, oh my precious little wolf”

“She said her first word”

“Did she? What was it?”

“Mama”

(Y/n) gasped at the word, her daughter called for her and she was not there. (Y/n) balanced her daughter in her hip as she plastered kisses wherever she could find skin, she was finally whole again, with both of her children and her Daemon United, like a true family, to gaze into (y/n)s eyes was a dream itself, though to be able to view the scene of her holding their daughter was the biggest achievement of them all

“She has your eyes”

“She has your hair, a true Targaryen princess”

“I would much rather is she had inherited your hair, to have a little stark running around the castle and cause trouble”

“Come, you must see him”

As time went on Daemon and (y/n) were in their own little world that tasted like berries and cream, Daemon would take his family up in the sky even the small babe that would nestle in his fathers arms had grown accustomed to flying, the only way they could make him sleep was to take him up to Caraxes and fly in circles.

(Y/n) would sleep holding on to Daemon like he would slip out of her fingers during the night, as the cold of the North brought them closer clinging on to the heat of each others bodies and layers of covers protected them the shimmer of the fire made her look even more beautiful, Daemon would often stay awake just a little while longer so he can gawk at her, stroking her dark hair and whispering all types of things to her.

(Y/n)s head rested on his chest she found it comforting to listen his heartbeat, it was the only way she felt like their moments were real and they weren’t just figments of her imagination.

“He will be a menacing knight”

“What if he wants to be a poet?”

“Then he will be a menacing poet”

“No, our boy will be gentle and kind, like his father”

“Have you gone rogue? Or are you hiding something from me?”

“You are the most gentle person, you think I don’t notice how you tuck our boy in his bed? You are my sweet dragon”

(Y/n) whispered in Daemons ear before he kissed her bare shoulder, Daemon and (y/n) could not get enough of each other, the tension between them compelled them to crave the other ones touch, holding hands as they experienced the road of pleasure, neither of them knew when they would have to separate again so they started clinging to the present moment for dear life.

“Don’t start rumours about my gentleness I have a reputation to uphold”

“What that you are the scary ruthless rogue prince? You have never been that, you are loving, caring, protective-“

“And hungry for my lover”

Combined by a yelp coming from (y/n) before she could even defend herself her back was on the bed with daemon laying on top of her, a soft grin decorated her lips while she gently tucked behind his ear a loose strand of his silver locks.

“I really missed you”

“I missed you too my sweet”

Daemon had grown accustomed to living in the North, just being able to bask in her aura was enough for him to be content with his new way of life. That would be his first mistake, life has tricky ways to sneak in to your dream and remind you who is really in control, Daemon had to once again ride his dragon away from his beloved family, war had ensued and he was called for aid in the Stepstones, he could deny it, he should deny it.

Requests are open!

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ferhog · 1 year ago

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I was initially disappointed in the lack of a Sulemio kiss, but 4 days later I actually find myself enjoying this scene more than perhaps any kiss in fiction (Except maybe bumblby for pure sentimental value reasons).

On first watch I actually found Miorine's expressions of horror and despair when she thought Suletta was dead to be quite silly, but I quickly realized it really shows how hard the concept breaks her when you see her professional persona just shatter and she loses all control of her emotions.

Keep in mind that Suletta was the first person to treat her as a person and not an object presumably since the death of her mother. That was enough for Miorine to throw away the chance to escape the prison that was the school after knowing Suletta for one day. Of course after all the time they spent together and all the things they did for each other she can't handle the idea that she's gone.

What really gets me is her colliding their helmets together, seemingly trying irrationally and desperately to touch the woman she loves through their normal suits and the vaccum of space. I've seen people interpret this moment as her actually trying to kiss Suletta, and if that's the intended case then it's a whole other level of heartwarming and heartbreaking how much she loves her and can't take losing her.

Presentation-wise obviously the choice to cut all sound fantastic, but I also love Suletta's face being almost entirely hidden behind the visor (For whatever in-universe reason), which really makes her look lifeless.

Suletta regaining consciousness and Miorine's joy in response is also great but the heartbreak that comes before it is what really makes this one of the most romantic scenes I've ever watched. Bonus points for her smile also being exaggeratedly expressive because again it shows that she's not trying to keep up an appearance and this is just raw emotion.

I still wanna see that wedding though. Come on Sunrise, give us some official art at least!

Also I made an edit in which this show ends as tragically as those particularly edgy Gundam fans were expecting:

https://www.tumblr.com/ferhog/722050957698088960/i-fixed-g-witchs-ending-for-the-ibo-fans?source=share

#mobile suit gundam #the witch from mercury #g witch #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #suletta x miorine #sulemio #msg wfm #mioletta

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dreaisgrayte · 10 months ago

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Under the Goddess' Veil [TEASER]

A/n: This fic was a tad bit spur of the moment to take a break from rewriting some of Lady of Amberguard. Turns out I really like the idea and haven't been able to stop writing on it for 2 days. I will say this will be a bit of plot in the first 4 or 5 thousand words but from then on...dear Lord forgive me for the absolute FILTH I have planned.

Description: I'll give a silly one for right now, basically a maiden gets sacrificed to 5 dragons and a lot of fucking happens. The end.

Pairings: Obanai Iguro, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Giyuu Tomioka, Uzui Tengen, and Kyojuro Rengoku x reader

ENJOY!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

“I was supposed to be sacrificed to you for the honor of my village…” You trail off, trying to connect the dots. You glance in the direction of Sanemi, his usually stern eyes softening when they connect with yours. “Are you going to eat me?” Your words sound pitiful, like you had accepted that fact already – and you had. You’d be raised on the single constant that you would be fed to the Gods atop the neverending tips.

Uzui appears in front of you, a lazy smirk playing with his lips as he leans down to be eye level with you. “Not in the way you’re thinking.” He purrs, rolling his smirk into his mouth.

Kyojuro pushes forward, his long hair whipping in the wind Obanai was still creating. “Your humans assume when we request a maiden to be given to us that we would feast upon her supple flesh,” He sighs, looking at Obanai as he speaks. “Every century our loneliness becomes unbearable. There was the occasional soul that attempted to harm us, wanting to take the hoard for themself, but that didn’t last long. Other draconics would visit us, but some of them would fight for our territory.” Your eyes are drawn to Sanemi again and his plethora of scars. He avoids your gaze at all costs, he finds the outer wall of the cave particularly interesting.

Kyojuro continues with a solemn smile. “Then one day a beautiful woman found her way into the lower tunnels. She came begging us to help her village, people were sick – dying. She was ready to give anything to us for the sake of the people.”

Uzui, who is leaning against the wall, pipes up again. “So she gave us her body.” Your brows knit together. Her body? What exactly did that mean? Kyojuro shoots him a glare before setting himself in front of your gaze, staring into your eyes.

“The women before you were scared, frightened of the big bad monsters within the Ponorich peaks. Most of them tried to escape with no avail…they would get lost and starve or stay within our sight and do the same thing. There were others that would find our hoard and selfishly conspire to harm us to take it.” Kyojuro’s eyes are bright swirls. “We want a mate, a bride.” Bride…you had dreamed about a day adorned with joy once. It had been a quick thought, squashed by the reality that you understood from a very young age. Though, now perhaps you could live the life that had been taken away from you.

The wind dies down and you quickly look behind to find Obanai stepping onto the edge in a graceful manner. He nods his head at you, an ethereal glow still present in his eyes. It made your stomach dip in the strangest way. "You can have one of us,” He waves his arm to the group of men, their eyes trained on you. Obanai steps forward, picking up your hands softly. You peer at him through your lashes. “Or all of us." He finishes. A distinguishing feeling glides through your very being. Something that tells you if you were going to die for the village the least you could do was live for them.

"I-I'd like to have all of you..." You stammer, your confidence dropping with every second. When did you decide to become so brazen? Here you were, a maiden surrounded by five men that surely looked upon you with heat and desire.

"Are you sure you can handle that little doe? Becoming the wife of five hungry dragons isn't going to be easy. You will ache when you are without us and you will ache when you are with us." Giyuu coos, placing a hand on your back. It sends licks of warmth that jolt to where you had never been touched.

“You will become ours in every way possible.” Uzui is now to your other side, hand upon your waist. “We will take you whenever we want,” A piece of hair falls to the side of his ear, distracting you for a moment until he brings your gaze back to him with fingers under your chin. “And you can take us whenever you want.”

Kyojuro hangs his arms around your shoulders, placing himself square behind you. The thin material of your slip does nothing to hide the warmth radiating off the man. “When our heat occurs you will have to be careful. One of us may ravish you and then two more join in.” He nudges your head with affection and your stomach stirs.

“Are you willing to make sacrifices?” Sanemi asks, still standing a few feet away from the huddle the rest of them had now created around you.

“I was raised to do so.” You reply, a confident nod moving your head.

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blorger · 25 days ago

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I have a confession to make: I love Pansy Parkinson.

I love her little snub nose, I love her big DH moment (even though as readers we're supposed to hate it) but, most of all, I love her because jkr hates her.

I'm not being hyperbolic when I say this either, we have it straight from the horse's mouth:

I loathe Pansy Parkinson. I don't love Draco but I really dislike her. She's every girl who ever teased me at school. She's the Anti-Hermione. I loathe her. Yeah, sorry! Sidetracked there by my latent bitterness.

("PotterCast Interviews J.K. Rowling, part two." PotterCast #131, 24 December 2007)

I recently found myself wondering how, for a self-professed Pansy stan, I sure know very little about her as a character. If we take aside the fact that I derive psychic joy from being a contrarian (especially when it comes to jkr and her garbage views), is book Pansy actually an interesting character or do I just like the Pansy that the fandom's collective unconscious created? Who even is Pansy, really?

Because I'm me and there's no problem that can't be answered by amassing huge amounts of informations, I went ahead and prepared

a Persuasive Primer to Pansy Parkinson

PART 1: PANSY'S PERSONAGE

The character of Pansy Parkinson has been present in the Harry Potter series since book 1. Her name shows up briefly during Harry's sorting since she's close to him in the class list but her first real appearance occurs during the Remembrall Incident, where jkr sets up two of her character's mainstays: her looks and her meanness.

This very first description of Pansy's face as severe and pitiless-looking is perhaps the kindest one we get in the books, since the only other times Harry, our narrator, bothers to describe her appearance he calls her pug-faced, which incidentally is where we as a fandom (and, clearly, the HP movies casting directors) got the idea that she has a snub nose.

Other than these vague and unkind descriptors, Pansy's looks are left to our imagination; the brunette bob she is well known for is a movie creation and the only other description relating to her appearance is that of the robes she wears for the Yule Ball in book 4, which are very frilly and pale pink.

As any scholar of JKR Studies worth their salt can tell you, jkr is a consummate misogynist who loathes pink and only uses it in order to give a negative connotation to something/someone; pink=girly, which is bad, and frilly=superfluously, ostentatiously girly, which is the worst possible thing a female character in the jkr extended universe can be. jkr has a lot of opinions on what constitutes an acceptable performance of femininity and the character of Pansy Parkinson exists to exemplify the complete opposite of that.

PART 2: A PERNICIOUS PERSONALITY

What can we learn from Pansy's tone? Firstly that she is shrill and annoying, as she shrieks and screeches; in her role as part of Draco's entourage she's both a mindless follower who simpers and an active participant who spreads gossip and maligns by whispering and giggling mean-spiritedly.

jkr created Pansy in the image of the girls who bullied her in her youth so Pansy has an entourage all of her own, an unnamed gang of Slytherin girls (they're always referred to as such, no further description provided) who appear in a greek chorus-like fashion to herald the bullying of Hermione (Ideal Woman and self-insert supreme).

So, what can we learn from Pansy's insults? well, for one that she doesn't like "fat little crybabies", as shown in the excerpt above. Furthermore, when she's not parroting Draco's insults, Pansy shows a single minded preoccupation with the life and looks of one Hermione Jean Granger

(from GoF, Pansy has Opinions of Rita's Skeeter's aricle)

(from GoF, Pansy is there to show us that Hermione was Beautiful All Along)

(from GoF, Pansy helps Rita Skeeter with her character piece)

(from GoF, Hermione suffers the fallout from Rita's article, Pansy is vigilant to any and all Hermione news)

We'll look more closely at Pansy and Hermione's relationship in a short while but for now let us focus on more of Pansy's barbs; I would like to take to this moment to highlight the following:

(from OoTP, Draco's gang shows up to the Gryffindor quidditch practice to do some heckling)

I find it notable that the only time Pansy insults the looks of someone who isn't Hermione it's when she makes a racist microaggression towards Angelina Johnson, one of the very few black characters in the books. While this is unquestionably vile behaviour, I struggle with interpreting jkr's intentions: does jkr even know and/or understand microaggressions? Is Pansy's insult even meant to be interpreted as racist? Does racism as we know it even exist in the hp universe?

Personally, I've always gotten the impression that the wizarding world was meant to represent a post-racial society in a very United Colors of Benetton, "I don't see race" kind of way that is very typical of nineties pseudo-liberalism, no doubt to give more space to her blood purity system (and because someone like jkr has no interest in even mentioning the pervasive effects of racism in society). Still, let's not discount what is no doubt one of Pansy's lowest moments in the books, regardless of the reading we choose vis à vis jkr's intent.

To cleanse our palates, here's a more benign insult:

(from OoTP, Harry and Cho's date is but a collection of unfortunate moments)

While I'd put the Cedric reference pretty high on the Insensitivity Scale, I find myself reluctantly entertained by Pansy's drive-by read, especially because Harry IS a garbage boyfriend to Cho.

What else do we know about Pansy's personality from the books? For one, that she likes unicorns but considers showing it outright to be undignified:

(from PoA)

We know that Pansy is made a Prefect in OotP and, while the books never specify the parameters used to choose Prefects and Hermione implies Pansy wasn't chosen for her smarts ("she's thicker than a concussed troll" is the actual quote, though Hermione's objectivity is questionable), we can assume that, at the very least, she is somewhat of a leader among the Slytherin girls (on account of the aforementioned gang).

Finally, we never hear Pansy's opinion on blood purity although it's safe to assume that it's not terribly progressive on account of the company she keeps.

PART 3: PASSIONATE PARAMOUR

While the books never state conclusively wether Pansy and Draco are ever a couple (in fact, neither of them says a word about the other in the books), we know both from statements jkr has made irl and from the in-universe characters' opinions that we are supposed to treat them as a couple of sorts. The evidence for that is as follows:

Draco is implied to exagerate the extent of his Buckbeak injury in order to garner sympathy from Pansy in PoA:

Pansy is Draco's date to GoF's Yule Ball

the infamous carriage scene in HBP:

and

Ron assumes that the boasting witnessed by Harry on the train was done in order to impress Pansy.

and

Regardless of wether you want to read their relationship as romantic or not, Draco and Pansy clearly hang out together a lot from the ages of 13 onwards; Pansy is often mentioned as part of Draco's posse together with Crabbe and Goyle and she's further shown as an active participant in his various schemes, most notably in the popularisation of Weasley is Our King:

(from OotP)

Pansy appears to have a genuine interest in Draco's wellbeing as shown by her concern when Draco is injured by Buckbeak in PoA:

and

Pansy if further shown to be understandably upset when Harry guts Draco like a fish in HBP:

So we can conclude that, although we have no idea of Draco's feelings, Pansy feels authentic affection for Draco.

PART 4: HERMIONE HATER?

Pansy is positioned as sort of the Female Draco: while Draco's job is to antagonize Harry and Ron, Pansy is there to deliver the Girl insults to Hermione, the Girl One of the trio. While jkr's intention was no doubt to paint Pansy as a straightforward bully, her singleminded interest in Hermione displays the same pigtail-pulling connotations as Draco's behaviour throughout the books.

Their first exchange comes by courtesy of Hermione, who hits her with her trademark condescension, which seems to specifically drive Slytherins mad like nothing else (the first "mudblood of the books comes as a direct response to one such occasion):

(from GoF, Pansy enjoys the potter stinks badges, hermione begs to disagree)

Following this exchange, we start to see Pansy engage in your typical Mean Girl behavior, which, apart from the preoccupation with her looks shown above, also includes laughing at Hermione's expense:

(from GoF, Hermione was hit by a stray curse and her teeth grew to a comical size)

and

(from GoF, Pansy shows hermione the infamous "harry is in love with Hermione" article by Rita Skeeter, which features a quote from her)

While we never see Hermione respond in kind (since her preferred method of dealing with bullies is the could shoulder), we know that this behavior definitely colors her opinion of Pansy

(from OotP, Hermione is displeased when Pansy is made Prefect)

and

(from OotP, Fred and George's departure from school left a vacuum in the prankster hierarchy and all manners of students jumped up to fill the spot)

All in all, we don't have a very precise read on the relationship between the two: do Pansy and Hermione exchange barbs whenever they meet? are they enemies or is Hermione a sainted martyr suffering in silence (on account of her moral superiority)? Just how closely do they parallel Harry and Draco's rivalry? You decide.

PART 5: PANSY'S POLEMICAL POSITION

Finally, we come to Pansy's Big Moment

(from DH, Pansy says the quiet part out loud and is banished for it)

During the Battle of Hogwarts, Pansy displays the ultimate act of Evil (in jkr's eyes) by not behaving Bravely when faced with an impossible decision. To give context, Voldemort has just given the students of Hogwarts a way out of the whole mess:

Personally, I hate this scene. Pansy doesn't know shit about just how essential Harry is to ending the whole shebang; furthermore, she's just a scared student living out her own version of the trolley problem and yet the narrative frames her (imho) understandable reaction not only as unforgivable cowardice on her part but has a condemnation of Slytherin house as a whole.

I hate how the Hogwarts student body is alternatively portrayed as a mindless horde whose opinion can be swayed by the faintest of rumors (as seen by public opinion turning on Harry in CoS, GoF and OotP) and as a prop to show the Right Way. The Hogwarts student body is essentially pulling a Spartacus moment except their reactions are somehow neatly divided into Houses: it's not some individuals who choose to react bravely and motivate the rest, its the Gryffindors as a whole, moving like a single-minded hive, who influence the other single-minded hives of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaw. The individuality of all of these people is ignored in service of an impactful scene and the one person who shows a dissenting thought is summarily removed (together with the Evil Slytherin hive, which did not express any opinions but is nonetheless blackened by association).

jkr's bullshit black-and-white worldview rears its ugly head here and what could have been a genuinely moving moment of student solidarity - showing people from different backgrounds coming to the defense of Hogwarts together - becomes a condemnation of those who dare oppose the righteous horde instead.

In a moment in the books that feels very biblical, the non-believer who dares doubt the Savior is shunned and summarily dealt with (which opens up a whole can of worms about the Jesus-ification of Harry that I'm not prepared to go into). Pansy is merely a prop in this scene, a stand-in for the whole of her house, yet I appreciate her very human reaction: she's the only person in that room to show individuality, expressing the fear and doubt that most people would feel when placed in a similar situation.

I appreciate how Pansy goes against the grain in one of my least favorite scenes in the whole books but I acknowledge that her big moment is not really about her, nor does it tell us anything about her character that we didn't already know: All Slytherins Are Evil and the best they can hope for is to just be slimy and opportunistic (à la Slughorn) instead of straight up villains.

PART 6: PERSONAL PERORATION (or: I really shot myself in the leg with the whole alliteration thing)

So, what did we learn kids? First of all that the Pansy in the books, as intend by jkr, is an irredeemable, uninteresting shitstain, less of a fully-formed character and more like a vaguely defined caricature of a Mean Girl.

While my instinct is to go against this cartoonish portrayal and attempt to read some complexity in her thoughts and motivations, I acknowledge that, to some, Pansy is forever tainted by the harsh way in which she's depicted and therefore will forever remain unlikeable. Personally, I find myself drawn by characters with seemingly nebulous motivations and, since I don't share jkr's shitty deterministic worldview, I can see scenarios where she grows as a person; I enjoy seeing different explorations of her characters in fics just like I enjoy reading about her fellow b-team villains in general.

Choose the path that sparks the most joy for you and live your truths my friends, ignore this primer completely or allow it to change (or reinforce) your opinion of Pansy, your feelings are valid regardless.

xoxo

#hp #hp meta #harry potter meta #Pansy Parkinson #the blorger special #it didn't fit anywhere else but #fic Pansy is often either a lipstick lesbian of a helpful fag hag and I find that entertaining #fanon pansy is fun and that is a major reason why I like her #pansy my beloved

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animeyanderelover · 1 year ago

Text

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, overprotective behavior, jealousy, paranoia, abduction, violence, death

Tags: @saiyara05 @shellofthewell

Words: 8.1k

The CEO and her bodyguard Pt.2

Pt.1

Months flew by faster than he had expected as he grew familiar with his duties as well as the people around him. It wasn't quite as boring as he had initially assumed. He wouldn't complain about it obviously, not with the amount of money he earned every month by following you and successfully intimidating about everybody that crossed his path.

It wasn't like he had much action within the job besides glaring at someone when they got a bit aggressive or irritated with you, something he had started doing when Yukimaru Aki had told him that no one was allowed to disrespect you or question your position as the CEO. As much as the little lady was bickering with you daily, she genuinely cared about you. Sone Kazuma wasn't much different as Toji had quickly realized. Both of your closest friends and assistants were more shady than what they initially appeared to be like and it was all done for your protection and reputation.

The most entertaining part about his job was actually watching you three who honestly appeared sometimes more like a trio of comedians than three of the most influential figures in Japan with your company. So whilst he wasn't able to beat anyone up as you usually were against any form of violence due to only minor incidents, he at least got a good laugh out of watching Sone, Yukimura and you at times. He had some memories he dared to title as fond since they had managed to elicit a chuckle out of him or had pleasantly surprised him.

~~~

His head was leaning back as he stared at the wall of the room, your gibberish white noise as he tried to somehow survive the sheer boredom of the presentation you were currently presenting to a few of higher-ranked members of your company. A presentation with fucking 39 foils plastered with statistics, charts and numbers. Aki had helped you putting everything together as she had essentially imprisoned you in your apartment for hours the last few weeks, discussing and planning everything with you.

Initially he had seriously thought that you couldn't do it as you had whined and begged and protested for her to let you off the hook because the both of you had still time but your best friend had remained firm in her decision. But in this moment you were doing surprisingly well, looking professional as you stood in front of the long table and had memorized everything that was written on the foils. You appeared to be in your flow as you fluently explained everything and suggested changes and adjustments for the feature. You almost looked like a different person.

Until suddenly someone stormed through the door, panting and gasping for breath, her cheeks flushed red as she sputtered out some apologies before flopping down onto her chair as Sone, who just happened to sit next to her, offered her a bottle of water. The younger woman wheezed out a "thank you" before taking a few gulps of the water. And just like that your focused appearance vanished into thin air as a grin stretched your face.

"Midori-chan! You came? Does that mean that...?" You didn't finish your question but he could see that you were slightly bouncing on your heels as you giddily looked at her with expecting eyes. She gave you a nod as a grin also broke free on her face.

"I'm officially an aunt now."

"Oh my god! Congratulations! What's his name? Is your brother fine? Is your sister-in-law alright? Is it really alright for you to be already here? I wouldn't have minded if you would have just taken the day off to spend some time with your little nephew! Tell me everything!" You rambled excitedly as you walked quickly over to her and grabbed her hands in your own, your eyes sparkling with joy and happiness. Midori on the other hand seemed a tiny bit flustered with your sudden intimacy and the onslaught of questions but she most likely didn't say anything because you were her boss.

"Both are doing fine. They're just a bit exhausted from everything. His name is Hayato." She answered you, the sheer brightness of your eyes almost overhwelming her as she averted her eyes elsewhere.

"I'm so happy for you. What does he look like? Do you have pictures? Please tell me that you have pictures of him. Can I see them if you a few? Can I-"

Aki suddenly loudly cleared her throat as he interrupted your happy ramble and adjusted her glasses.

"As happy as I am also for Midori-san, I think you're forgetting that we're in the middle of a meeting here, (y/n). You can interrogate her all you want after we are finished with this presentation. We're only halfway done." She reminded you with a dry yet sharp voice that made your shoulders lift up as a look of discontent deformed your face. It was obvious what you would have rather done right now but then your shoulders sagged in defeat as you plodded back to the front of the room.

You opened your mouth as Aki switched over to foil no. 21 yet nothing came out as you suddenly furrowed your eyebrows, wrinkles appearing on your forehead as your eyes were focused on the ground. Aki gave you a slightly confused look that morphed into a look of horror when you lifted your head and gave her an apologetic and bright smile.

"I forgot what I was supposed to say, Aki-chan."

A collective groan echoed through the room as Aki pinched the bridge of her nose, her nostrils flaring as she released a deep breath through them.

"Can we like...start over from the beginning? Because that's the only part I remember. I'm sure that it'll come back to me whilst I'm talking about what I recall. Midori has missed half of the presentation anyways."

Your suggestion was spoken with a tad bit of guilt and embarrassment audible in your voice as you gave everyone a sheepish grin whilst scratching your cheek. You braced yourself for a few scathing comments from Aki's side but instead a deep chuckle cut through the groans of your workers and you turned astonished around only to find your bodyguard leaning back in his chair, failing to hold his laughter in.

~~~

In hindsight he probably shouldn't have laughed because the mood of the room hadn't exactly called for it and Aki had given him her infamous death stare when she had caught him laughing. It had been the combination of everyone's tired and done faces, Aki's twitching brow and your sheepish face that had suddenly caused him to to splutter. All heads had turned around to him as he had quickly attempted to hide his laughter behind coughs. When his green eyes had met yours though, he remembered being sort of surprised to see you actually smiling at him as if happy to see him laughing.

He even remembered that within two days after this conference, you had woken him up by ringing his door bell persistently in the early morning.

~~~

He hadn't exactly been able to guess beforehand who it was that dared to knock on his door at such a godforsaken hour but when he opened it and saw you standing there with the same apologetic grin he often saw you giving others when your airheaded behavior got in the way, he couldn't bring himself to be surprised.

"Good morning, Fushiguro-san! Have I interrupted you?"

He leaned against the door frame as his green eyes locked onto the package you tried to hide behind your back. That combined with the impatient and eager spark in your eyes despite your somewhat guilty grin told him that you had something for him and in typical (y/n)-fashion you couldn't wait until his shift started and you would see him for over half of the day anyways.

"Just get it over with quickly. I'm trying to get some sleep."

You tilted your head rather adorably before glancing outside the window.

"Have you been up late again? I mean, it isn't any of my business. What you do with your time after I'm in my apartment and don't have to go outside anymore isn't of my concern because that is your free time. I just want to kindly remind you that in 2 hours I have to go back to work which means that you have to get back up by then too. I don't care too much personally but Aki will probably chew you up if you're sloppy in your job to protect me."

You were rambling again and Toji was absolutely not in the mood to hear it. Not when he was tired and lost money when he had been out to gamble a bit. He still had more than enough left of course but it had irritated him nevertheless. So instead he suddenly grabbed the package you were hiding behind your back and ripped it out of your hold.

"Hey!" You yelled before quickly covering your mouth as you remembered that Aki was inhabiting the apartment right next to Toji's. You glanced somewhat scared over at the door leading to Aki's apartment, ready to dash away if she should have woken up because both of you knew that she wouldn't take it well if she would find the both of you still awake instead of sleeping and getting some rest. When a minute passed by and nothing happened, you relaxed a bit.

"That was supposed to be a surprise for you. You're such a fun killer." You now whispered to him in a hushed down, pouting and glaring at him cutely that he couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle.

"You're quite bad at hiding a surprise if you shouldn't have known that already." He whispered back, playing around with the package in the palms of his hands.

"At least open it then. I want to see if you like it." You replied, gesturing at the package to urge him to open it. He shook it a bit in his hands as he couldn't help but question what you had bought in what had most likely been a sudden and unstoppable impulse of yours. The package was quickly torn open and you eagerly gauged his face as he saw what was inside. He arched one of his brows before looking at you.

"Seriously?"

"Well, you always look quite bored when we have a meeting. I understand that, I also feel that way. Unfortunately your job is to protect me and my job is being the CEO which also includes all those conferences. Since it isn't your job to actually listen to what I have to talk about during such meetings though, I thought buying you one of those might keep you entertained at least a bit. I also bought a couple of games you can play. Some of them aren't even available yet."

You explained in hushed giddiness as he pulled out the Nintende DS you had purchased for him. He remembered vaguely some adds he had seen about it as it was a very new and portable device. There were also some games inside the box that he could play with this thing. Now, he wasn't quite sure how to feel about this but he also knew better than to tell you straight in your face that he didn't know what to do with a Nintendo.

"Do you not like it?" He had perhaps remained quiet for a few seconds too long which gave him away to you.

"Let's just say that this isn’t what I was expecting to receive from my boss at such an early hour. I must admit, I’ve never really played much before.”

“But I thought you liked gambling!” You exclaimed confused before remembering that you had to keep quiet in order for Aki not to hear you. Toji gave you a weird look when you said that before he huffed out some air, somewhat amused by your statement.

"That's not the same, you know?" He told you after a few moments where he was thinking about what to say. He knew what Aki thought about his gambling habits and he knew that even Sone-san, despite being much more respectful and calmer about it than Aki was, also wasn't a big fan of it. He didn't know how you felt about gambling though.

"I know that of course. But seriously, isn't this the healthier option? You can still waste hours of your day doing something that won't do anyone any good, not even you, but at least you don't spend huge amounts of money on something that has only a little chance of earning you money anyways. You won't lose any money playing some games on a Nintendo. Can you tell me what the appeal in gambling is?"

You were genuinely curious as you looked at him and perhaps it was this look that you gave him that actually managed to overwhelm him for a short moment. You weren't really judging but instead asking him why he gambled as often as he did. And for the first time, he couldn't find a good reply. At least not one that every other person addicted to something would give you. "It's...just fun, alright? " He answered you after a while, although even you caught on to the slight hesitation in his voice.

You gave him a very long observant look as if searching for something in his body language or facial expression before you sighed and nodded thoughtfully. "I see. Well, I don't really care what you do in your free time as long as you do your job. Do not gamble in my presence though." "Weren't you gambling too the first time we met? Or is it alright for you if you gamble because you have enough money to waste?" Toji scoffed as he referred to the first time you had met him in the izakaya.

"That's true I guess... It was a one-time-thing though, understood? I won't do something like this again. I just...had some stuff on my mind back then." You spoke after a few seconds as if you had also been searching for a good enough answer to justify your participation in a small gamble without repeating what everyone addicted to gambling could have said too, although you still failed. Much like him. Then silence befell the both of you. Not the comfortable one, the awkward one where both of you grew slightly uncomfortable.

Toji didn't even know why he of all people suddenly felt so weird, so much aware of any blink he did with his eyes around you. He wasn't used to it so he was the first one to decide to end this conversation. "Thanks for the gift then." He finally said as he turned around in the doorframe and felt briefly embarrassed when he repeated his own words in his head and wondered if he could have said something that would have sounded better. He didn't even know what else he could have said but somehow the gnawing feeling in the back of his mind didn't want to leave him alone.

"See you in about 2 hours then." You muttered awkwardly as you turned around and walked towards the elevator. You turned one last time to wave him temporarily goodbye before you realized that he had already closed the door to his apartment.

"Well, that was weird." You muttered to yourself as you pulled out your key to enable the lift to reach the 4th floor.

~~~

"Furukawa-san, please calm down and have a seat." You said with a painfully forced amicable smile as you made some appeasing movements with your hands in hopes of calming the older man down.

It wasn't hard to see that you were slowly reaching the end of your patience though and Toji had to admire you for even holding out for as long as he did. He knew for sure that he would have snapped minutes ago with the bitter and entitled attitude the businessman was giving you as if forgetting that between the two of you, you were definitely the financially more successful CEO by a long shot.

He had been arguing with you for a while now about a contract you had crafted for a cooperation between your company and his smaller and insignificant one. He wasn't satisfied, wanted to play a bigger part within your company.

"I understand your frustration but your business has only been existing for a few years now. Frankly spoken, I fear you still lack a bit of experience in this business so I think it's better for you to learn a bit more about how to handle your own company before I assign you a bigger role." You told The older man, barely able to swallow the annoyed sigh back that desperately wanted to be let out whilst you were enduring his angry rants.

Toji was sitting on the couch in your office in the main building of the company in Tokyo, only focusing half-heartedly on the Nintendo as he constantly glanced at you and Furukawa-san, his eyes narrowing the more he heard him arguing stubbornly back at you, ignoring your logical approach to his discontent. Couldn't that old geezer just shut the fuck up? His jarring voice was giving Toji and probably even you a headache by now.

"Furukawa-san, you're not looking at this from a logical point of view. You can't expect me to put someone who has so little experience in handling a company to a higher-ranking position just li-"

"I do not have to listen to someone younger than me berating me like this! Especially not to someone who just one day conveniently appeared after the death of the previous CEO and his father and took over the company just like this! That's quite suspicious, wouldn't you agree?"

You didn't have enough time to even feel the anger making your blood boil as he accused you as bluntly as he did. No, instead both of you heard a sudden slam as Toji snapped the Nintendo closed and stood up from the couch as if the insult directed at you had struck the wrong cord in him and not you. All of a sudden there was a shift in the atmosphere as it felt heavy and oppressive, for Furukawa more than for you as his angry expression quickly dropped when Toji took a few huge strides to him before shamelessly towering over the smaller man.

"Wanne repeat that again?" He asked in a sneering tone as green eyes looked down on him as if he was a mere piece of trash laying uselessly on the ground somewhere. Furukawa's mouth went dry instantly as he stared at your bodyguard who so far had spent the entire time playing some games on the Nintendo you had gifted him. He nearly jumped up when Toji pressed a hand on his shoulder and applied a bit of pressure. His legs instantly gave up under him as Toji forced him to sit down again.

"Stop acting like a little brat. You ain't shit here, your age must have made you already quite a bit senile, hmm? Show some fucking respect to her because between the both of you, she is the one who makes all of the decisions. She's important, you are not. So stop acting like you're anything special because you are replacable to her. Be grateful that she even made time for you in the first place."

He'd gone visibly pale in his face and all he could manage to do was a weak nod, his whole body rigid. You gave Toji an appreciative nod as he continued standing behind Furukawa, glaring down at him. When you realized that he actually intended to stay there, you dismissed him with a wave of your hands.

"Fushiguro-san, that's enough. I think our dear Furukawa-san here has received his reality check. You're going to give the poor man a panic attack if you continue glaring at him like this."

For a moment Toji's gaze met yours as if telling you that such behavior wasn't enough before he let out a "tch" and stuffed his hands in the pocket of his trousers before flopping back down on the couch, resuming the game on the Nintendo. You could still see how he was glaring sharply every once in a while at Furukawa.

"So, Furukawa-san..." You began again, your voice snapping the older man only partially out of his tensed position.

"Let's talk about our contract again, alright?"

~~~

"That turned out easier than expected." You told him as you were putting on your jacket, about to leave your office. Toji was leaning against the wall on the other side, watching you as you stuffed everything into your handbag. You glanced shortly at your watch and let out a thoughtful hum. "I actually have time left. You really intimidated Furukawa-san for good. The poor guy just agreed blindly to everything I suggested. I appreciate your help of course but can you try to be a little bit less intense?"

Toji rolled his eyes at your words. "So now I'm being scolded for doing my job too good? It really is quite difficult to please Yukimaru and you." He told you, although at least he didn't seem to be deeply offended by your words. "I only did what Yukimaru asked of me. Complain to her, not me."

"I am aware of what Aki-chan told you but I didn't expect you to react quite as...well, ferocious as you did today. I mean, don't you think that you were overdoing it a bit? There isn't much use in me negotiating with partners if all they do is agree with everything I say. It takes a bit of fun out of it, although Furukawa-san definitely was a pain in the ass today."

You grinned when your last sentence elicited a light chuckle out of Toji as he trailed lazily behind you the moment you left your office and finished your work for the night.

"Hey, how about going out for a drink? I still have time and don't really want to go back home already." You abruptly asked him as both of you stepped into the lift and you pressed the button for the first floor.

"Don't really have a choice, do I? My working day only really ends when you're back in your apartment so as long as you're still outside, I can't really leave your side." He answered, although he definitely wouldn't mind going out for a bit. He had been stuck the entire day in your office, dealing with more or less tolerable people whilst playing some games on the Nintendo you had gifted him.

"That's right, I guess. Well, just means that I don't have to worry about anyone or anything as long as I have you with me." You replied with a slightly flustered grin as if just remembering that there had been very specific rules in his contract that he had to follow as your bodyguard. Your words caught him off-guard and he didn't know why. He glanced briefly over to you, gauging your expression as if trying to detect any dishonesty on your face. When he didn't find any and realized that you were actually being honest and had just given him a compliment, his eyes shifted to the buttons in the elevator as he sensed a weird warm sensation somewhere in his chest.

"How about going to that izakaya again?" You asked him as both of you left the huge building as every other worker on the first floor bowed down to you and wished you a pleasant night and you did your best to bow your head to all of them and thank them for working so well today.

That izakaya? What did that mean?

It seemed to be important to you and judging from the expectant look you had in your eyes, he realized that you assumed that he knew what you were talking about as well. All he could do was give you a surprisingly clueless and confused stare. A look of theatrical hurt crossed your face as you gasped shocked at him.

"You don't know what I mean, do you? How could you forget?" You spoke slightly dramatically as you placed a hand over your heart. It was only a playful gesture from your side but it bothered Toji much more than he had expected. Not your dramatic reaction but the fact that he had forgotten something that involved you. He was silently brainstorming for the memory that you meant by "that izakaya" but he had probably been to quite a lot izakayas in his life before which he couldn't even recall anymore. Had there ever been a special izakaya before in...

Oh. That's what you meant.

You snorted when you saw his face morph into one of realization as he finally understood to which izakaya you were referring to.

"Wow, seems like the gears finally started spinning. Took you long enough to remember. I'm talking about the izakaya where we first met, Fushiguro-san."

He narrowed his eyes but instead of glaring at you for laughing at him, he glared at the pathway beneath his feet as he silently strolled with you through the busy streets of Tokyo, the city bright with all the lights and adds from the buildings. He had forgotten, honestly he couldn't even remember very detailed what he had been doing with his life much before meeting you. He only vaguely remembered gambling a lot, accepting requests from others for the right amount of money, he remembered killing people for money. Only fleeting memories though, he couldn't even recall very well the faces of people who had hired him. But that wasn't the case with you, was it?

He started walking a bit slower when he realized that he could recall almost everyday he had spent with you more detailed than he could recall the almost last two years of his life. His eyes focused on the back of your head as you took the lead and walked through Tokyo in a good mood, heading for the izakaya. Had he been paying that much attention to you?

You tilted your head slightly to look at him and when your gazes met, he instinctively looked away. He didn't know why. But looking at you somehow only made him recall everything even more, flodded his mind with images of you laughing, pouting, goofing off and being silly.

"You don't have to feel bad for forgetting, you know? I didn't really expect you to remember."

What? What did that mean? Green eyes instantly shot up from the ground as a strange feeling took over him as he mulled over the words you had just told him. Unfortunately you didn't seem to have any intention of explaining yourself further as you walked on. Honestly, he had heard worse in his life, he had been treated worse in his life and nowadays he couldn't even be less bothered if anyone would try to get under his skin. So why...?

Why were your words bothering him so much?

You were a bit surprised when his steps suddenly quickened and he stood in front of you within an instance, forcing you to slow down and eventually fully stop. You were occasionally still amazed with how tall he was, especially since you would go as far as considering yourself quite tall in comparison to many other women in Japan. Now was one of those moments as you looked up at him, slightly confused as he was staring down at you with narrowed eyes as if you were a riddle he was desperately trying to solve.

"What do you mean?"

Hearing him speak so normally without any sneer, cockiness or slight annoyance came totally unexpectant and suddenly you found yourself being overtaken by awkwardness. You had never seen him quite as honest-looking as he was right now and you were taken aback by green eyes staring at you, silently wanting an answer from you.

"...What?"

It was the only thing you were able to blurt out as you were unable to tear your gaze away from Toji, your heart pounding in your chest due to his shift in attitude. Honestly, you wouldn't have been alarmed by anyone else acting this way. However, you couldn't help but be worried by Toji suddenly acting so out of character.

Before you could even grasp the situation, Toji seemed to snap out of it. It was if someone had just pulled him out of a trance. He blinked down at you as if he had just woken up from something before his face twisted into an unreadable mask that you couldn't fully decipher. He stepped out of your way, avoiding your own eyes vehemently. When he realized that you didn't move and were still standing there, looking at him with those eyes, he suddenly turned his back to you and walked on his own.

"Forget it." He muttered as he quickly moved to the izakaya. You stood there for a while, staring at his back as you were silently contemplating whether or not you should try to ask him about what had just happened. You could see though that he absolutely didn't want you to try to dig deeper so eventually you forced yourself to move and trail behind him.

~~~

Four glasses of beer and a plate of buttery and delicious tuna sashimi later and you were full. He'd accompanied you already a few times for a couple of drinks before so by now he kind of knew what was coming for him. Both of you had sat down on an empty lower table, the izakaya not nearly as full as it had been back when both of you had met for the first time.

"You probably shouldn't drink too much. Yukimaru will probably only scold you as soon as you get back to your apartment." He spoke as he watched you ordering another beer. You let out a tired and exhausted grumble as you rubbed your eyes.

"t's not my fault that I'm not built as you are. Sseriously, do you ever get drunk?" You slurred as you looked up at him through half-lidded eyes. Even if you tried to be serious right now, it was impossible for him to take you as such as he stared at your face. His eyes took in your hair, your eyes, your nose, your cheeks until they finally zoomed in on your lips...

"What are you lookin' at? my eyes are up 'ere." You spoke, your words snapping him for the second time tonight out of a daze. What was wrong with him?

"...'ey, anser ma question. What's your secret behind not getting drunk?" You repeated yourself, a pout on your lips as you snapped your fingers in front of his face as if hoping to get his attention.

"I don't know. I guess that I was just born with it." Your bodyguard spoke after actually considering it for a while before he also took a sip from the sake he had ordered. Honestly, sometimes he wished that he could get drunk and his inability to do so hadn't made him the biggest fan of alcohol. He enjoyed it though when he was around you as he just joined you whenever you were drinking.

"Hmm...So it's all thanks to your body." You muttered to yourself as your eyes shifted from his face to his toned chest, your gaze narrowing thoughtfully. His brows went up to his forehead as he noticed where your gaze was lingering, your eyes squeezing as you stared bluntly at his chest.

Before he could make any cocky remark about it though, one of your palms suddenly laid itself flatly on his chest, close to his own heart.

As his skin suddenly started heating up a tiny bit and he could feel his own heartbeat picking up its speed, he wondered briefly if perhaps alcohol had an effect on him after all. The warmth from your palm seeped through his shirt and spread throughout his entire chest. His gaze was glued to your hand resting on his chest, probably feeling his own heartbeat through the tip of your fingers. He was struggling to say something and a part of him didn't really want to say something either in favor of just having you touch him.

"C'n I borrow your body then? I wanna drink without gettin' drunk. That's not possible though, is it? Aaah, I'm jealous of you. Ye have such a beautiful body."

You pulled your hand back from his chest as if the sudden realization that swapping bodies wasn't possible had just immensely disappointed you. Toji on the other hand was attempting his best to figure silently out what the fuck was going on with him.

“Beautiful…?” Was the first word he was able to say to you after he had calmed down a bit, although he was still painfully aware how the heat of his skin and the own throbbing of his heart only got worse as he looked at you.

“Yeh. I mean, come on! Look atch you! You look like the guy people either wanna be with or want to be!” You spoke up as your hands gestured wildly at him, trying to make your point obvious.

He knew what you meant. Toji was highly confident in his abilities, he knew that his body and the physical strength that had come with it was one of a kind. All of his clients all of the women who had approached him in his past had known that too.

Yet hearing it from you, half-drunk and looking like your head was about to bang on the table because it was too heavy for you and you were quite tired at this point, just sounded so much more sincere.

He swirled the small cup of sake around in his hand, watching the clear liquid spiraling around as he did so. He wasn’t sure if he would have been able to say those words as easily if he would have continued looking at you.

“Thank you.”

There it was again. Sincerity. You peeked over to him as you heard it but you didn’t know what to say. Then the silence came. The same silence that made him itchy and more aware of every breath he took around you. You didn’t seem to mind as much, already happily drunk to care about the infamous awkward silence and in that moment he envied you for being able to just say whatever came to your mind and to remain so unaffected in a situation that had him acting so unusually stiff.

“Do you…actually want to know my answer to your question from before?”

That seemed to be enough to gain his attention as you felt his green eyes resting on you as you were playing with the chopsticks. It had been bothering you the moment he had asked you this question and you had been silently thinking about an answer in your head the entire time. At least up until you had downed your first glass of beer and had temporarily forgotten about it. It had just randomly came back to you now.

"...Do whatever you want."

You took that as a yes from his side.

"I didn't think that you would remember because to me you looked back then like the type of guy who doesn't care about his surroundings and the people in his life unless money is involved."

He couldn't really deny your words and his vague memories from his life in the years before he had met you only proved your point. Yet it wasn't true. At least not fully. Not when it came to you.

"That's sort of rude to say to your bodyguard, don't you think?" He chuckled as he tried to overplay the strange emotions your answer had awoken inside of him.

"Probably. But I am happy to see that I still made the right choice by picking you. I'm sure that if I would have chosen of Aki-chan's selected choices, I wouldn't have such a good time right now. You really are a nice drinking buddy, although it isn't quite as fun if only one party gets drunk."

You tried to give him a small smile without looking stupidly drunk before you took a glance at your watch and realized that it was about damn time for the two of you to leave.

"Aight! Time to head home." You declared as you slowly stood up, your head slightly spinning as the sudden shift of gravity due to you standing up after having only been sitting for the last two hours was almost too much for your drunk self.

Toji quickly grabbed you, his hand wrapping around your arm to stabilize you.

"Are you going to be fine walking like this around the streets?"

He asked, his tone somewhat laced with amusement as he also stood up from his seat.

"That's what you are for. Aki-chan will kill you if you lose me." You replied with a grumbling tone as you pinched the bridge of your nose. Perhaps you had overdone it a bit with your beer tonight.

~~~

"I'm more than capable to walk on my own two feet, y'know?" You complained to him as he led you through the crowds, his grip on your arm tight enough to not lose you yet also loose enough to not hurt you.

"You look like a gentle gust of wind could knock you off your feet." He instantly shot back, grinning as he looked at your slightly wobbly figure, swaying gently left and right.

"Now you're the one who is being mean. I'm your boss." You whined as you swatted his arm lightly when you took notice of the grin on his face. At least he seemed to be back to normal again. You had been low-key a bit worried when he had been so strangely sincere with you.

Your eyes lazily flew across the people walking all past you as Toji led you the way back to the main building. Your car was still in the parking facility where only workers of your company were allowed to drive their cars into. You wondered if Kazuma had already taken Aki with him and if both of them had driven home already. If Aki was still waiting for you, she would most likely insist on driving the car because she would never let someone on the wheel who had just consumed alcohol and Toji's apparent immunity against it was something she couldn't care less about.

You nearly tripped when Toji's strides suddenly increased in length and speed only to feel yourself suddenly be pulled closer against him, your body pressed against him as his one arm wrapped around your waist.

Subconsciously you noticed how incredibly warm his body was but you were more confused with his action. You glanced up at him only to notice that his green eyes were focused on something behind the two of you. You tilted your head around to search for whatever he was noticing but there were just too many people among the crowd.

"Toji...?"

A short skip of his own heart as you suddenly called him by his first name before his senses went back to focusing on those same footsteps he had been noticing for a while now. Someone was following you two. No, someone was following you.

He didn't answer you but you could sort of tell by his focused look that he was sensing something you couldn't. You didn't know why but for some reason his senses were so much more enhanced than those of everyone else around him.

"There's someone behind us, isn't there?" You asked, although you were already pretty sure that you were right anyways. Toji could tell from the look in your eyes that he didn't need to confirm what you already suspected so he didn't answer your question at all. Green eyes were darting over all the people in the crowd, trying to figure out which one of them it was. Until his eyes landed on a young man whose face was partially hidden by a mask he was wearing.

"Listen, there are still some members of the same group out there who murdered the two previous CEO's of the Ito company. One of them walked a few months ago just like that into our main building with a knife. It's clear that they're out for (y/n)'s life too. That's why I wanted her to get a bodyguard. And for some reason she has gone for you, a random man she met on the street. So as her bodyguard, you have only one job to do. Protect her. Protect her no matter what."

Those had been Aki's words to him a few weeks after he had been recruited by you and it had been her first words to him in a while as she had generally avoided conversing much with him when he had been new. She had obviously still been a bit resentful that you had chosen him over every other bodyguard she had suggested for you.

As his green eyes were scrutinizing the man standing there amongst the crowd, Toji stopped walking. He just stood there, silently staring at the guy who had also stopped when he had noticed that Toji had stopped. He had apparently finally realized that he had been spotted and Toji could tell even from the distance that he clearly hadn't expected to be spotted.

You had been about to say something to Toji but when you looked up at him and saw the look in his eyes, you quickly decided against it. Green eyes were fixed on someone within the crowd you still couldn't make out, focused and gleaming with something that made you swallow a bit.

There was something dangerous in his eyes and even the man could sense that from the distance as he slowly stepped away. Toji never left him out of his sight, his eyes following him and following him until even he couldn't make him out amongst the full streets anymore.

Only then did he finally turn his gaze back to you and released his hold on you, although it took him more willpower to do so than he had expected, your warm body pressed against his own causing pleasurable shivers to travel through his body.

"He's gone. You don't have to look so worried anymore." He reassured you when he noticed the look in your eyes. You glanced back at the crowd for a short moment before you nodded slowly.

~~~

"What in the world happened? (y/n), have you been drinking too much again?"

You let out an exhausted groan as Aki's voice pulled you out of your little nap. God, had you fallen asleep? The last thing you could recall was getting into the car and after that everything was sort of blurry. So you had perhaps fallen asleep whilst Toji had driven you home. Why was Aki making such a drama out of it though? It wasn't like you had never drunken a glass or two too much before.

"Aki, you're too loud." You grumbled as you cuddled yourself against the hard but very warm surface beneath you. It felt nice, what was it?

"Ooh, you're enjoying that right now, aren't you Fushiguro? I would appreciate it if you would let her down."

"What was I supposed to do? She fell asleep in the car and didn't want to get up when I tried to wake her up."

"You could have just told me and I could have helped."

What were those two arguing over again? You slowly forced yourself to lift your head, blinking with heavy eyelids to adjust to the light in the first floor. When you finally cracked them open fully, you understood why Aki was causing a little scene right now. Since when had you been on Toji's back?

Toji was the first one to notice that you had partially woken up and Aki noticed only a bit later.

"(y/n), would you please get down from him?"

Your sleep and alcohol-addled brain needed a bit to process her words before you slowly got down from his back with a slight look of discontent in your eyes.

"Why do you look so unhappy?"

"Toji is so warm, Aki."

"He's your bodyguard and not your plushie! Wait, did you just call him 'Toji'? Since when have the both of you been on first name terms?"

You considered her words for a bit. She had a point. So far you had only referred to him by his last name and he had done the same. However, he had been working for you closely for nearly a year now so honestly, at this point you thought that it was appropriate.

"Since today. I think the both of us are close enough now to call each other by the first name. Hey Toji, call me (y/n) from now on and not (l/n)."

You said as you turned around to look at him.

You didn't know if you had imagined the short expression on his face that almost looked flustered before a grin spread across his face.

"(y/n), huh?" He muttered, more to himself than to you or Aki before he locked eyes with you.

"Can't do much but do as you say. You're the boss after all."

~~~

The lift stopped on the third floor as Toji stepped out of the rather cramped room since he took up a lot of space within the elevator. You and Aki were staying as the both of you were heading for the fourth floor. You were still drunk after all so Aki planned to escort you to your apartment and make sure that you would instantly head to bed and sleep because you had work to do today again. You hadn't mentioned the fact that someone had been following you to Aki yet and whilst he initially thought that you might have forgotten about it temporarily again because of all the alcohol, you had thrown him a short glance when Aki had asked him if everything had been fine. He understood though. You were drunk and had a bit of a headache so Aki's overbearing questions if she would find out tonight probably would only add to your pain. You'd tell her tomorrow about it.

"Good night, Toji."

"You better not have a hangover tomorrow, Fushiguro-san."

With those words, the doors to the lift closed and he was left alone. He unlocked the door to his apartment, didn't bother to turn the lights on as he went to the living room and flopped down onto the couch. He leaned back against the pillows propped against the furniture, his gaze focused on the wall. Were you already in your apartment or was Aki still trying to stabilize your staggering and much taller figure than hers?

He clicked his tongue frustrated when he realized that his thoughts had drifted once again to you. He sighed as he leaned his head back. Today...had been strange. And now that he was all alone in the darkness with little sounds surrounding him, he became all the more aware of the fact that his heart was still pounding against his chest. It hadn't stopped doing that ever since you had touched his chest and he swore that he could still feel the weight, the warmth and the shape of your palm resting so close to his beating heart.

And then there had been the guy who had been following you... And when Toji had noticed, his body had instinctively clutched your body protectively to his own. When the fuck had he ever done this for one of his clients? He had no doubt that the guy was the pathetic leftover of the assassination group Aki had warned him about and he had also no doubt that he would have most likely attempted to do something if Toji hadn't been with you.

He would have tried to hurt you probably.

That thought struck the wrong cord somewhere inside him again and even worse than when this Furukawa guy had insulted and belittled you in his presence as anger tensed up his muscles before he forced himself to relax again.

Seriously, what was wrong with him?

It almost felt like...

Pt.3

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere toji #yandere fushiguro toji

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riding-with-caryl · 4 months ago

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I wasn't sure I was going to make this post because I know others have made posts around this topic before. But after sitting with it and giving it some thought, I do feel that I want to go ahead and make it so I can add a perspective that I believe is worth sharing.

This is not about telling others how to feel or trying to control the fandom. I have zero interest in doing that. Feel what you feel, be that positive or negative. Your feelings are valid. It is about asking people to consider not projecting those feelings onto Melissa, painting your feelings as hers, victimising her, and declaring what is best for Melissa.

Melissa is a grown, middle-aged professional, business-savvy woman. She is not some shy, ineffectual, unable to make herself heard or have her voice listened to wallflower.

Melissa herself has clearly expressed and made clear on multiple occasions this year how happy she is. How excited she is about this spinoff, both season 2 and their plans going into season 3. She has talked about the way she and Zabel have worked together from very early on regarding Carol's story, and it is crystal clear from what she said that Mel has played a significant role in her story. She and Norman have played a significant role in their shared stories and the direction of this spinoff. That will include whether canon happens or not. Watch Mel, listen to her. She seems extremely comfortable and relaxed with David Zabel. You don't need to be a body language expert to pick that up because she makes it clear and obvious.

Now, some fans may not like David Zabel. That's your prerogative. Some fans may not like the decisions made when the spinoff airs and the direction it takes. Again, that is a personal thing that only we can decide for ourselves on an individual basis. Our opinions on those things, however different they may be, are all valid. But I believe it's really, really important that we express those feelings as being our own and not project them onto Melissa.

What I've seen a lot from fans these past few years is an expression of wanting Mel to be listened to, to have a voice & be able to express that voice. To not have others speaking for her. We all love Mel and care about her. I know I do, and I believe everyone who is so vocal about those things love and care about her, too. Why else would they try and fight so hard for her?

But here's the thing. (And this is why I feel so strongly about it and feel the need to make this post.) By projecting our own feelings onto Mel, by speaking for her, by saying what needs to happen for things to be best for her, to say the type of showrunner they need to hire to be the right showrunner for Mel, to even presume to know what Mel wants for Carol and Caryl and express that assumption as being her wishes is doing the exact same thing we claim to hate/be against. Namely, taking away Mel's agency by not listening to Mel's voice when she tells us how happy and excited she is about this spinoff, Carol's story, Caryl's story and the general direction it's headed. Not hearing the pure joy whenever she talks, including regarding Zabel. Dismissing & invalidating what she says by claiming she has to say that for whatever reason, claiming that she doesn't really feel that way and then presenting something that Mel didn't say or imply and stating that is what she *really* feels.

Now, I wasn't in TWD fandom in the early seasons. As is normal for me, much to my son's annoyance, I was very late to TWD party. But I have been in the Twitter fandom for several years at this point. My point I'm getting to with this is that I didn't witness in real time Melissa's happiness & demeanor in those early seasons. So I can only speak to the later seasons. But I haven't EVER seen Melissa as happy and excited and just so full of joy as she seems to be now from everything we've seen of her since she came back. I've not seen her appear to be as outwardly comfortable with a showrunner as she seems to be with Zabel, comparing like for like in the public arena of panels and interviews. Obviously, I didn't get to see how she was with Frank Darabont, although I am aware of her pre-TWD working relationship with him on The Mist.

I'm going to end here, but I just want to repeat that this is not in any way me trying to tell people what to think and feel or saying people shouldn't express their concerns and worries. There needs to be space for everyone to be able to do that if they want to. It's simply me expressing and explaining why I think we should be mindful of not projecting our feelings and concerns onto Mel and hopefully giving some food for thought about it. I know I can't force people to stop doing it, that I can only share my opinion, make my case for not doing it, and ask people to consider it, and that is what I am doing with this post.

#caryl #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #the book of carol #carol x daryl #carol and daryl

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koshkamartell · 11 months ago

Text

No One But Me

masterlist

chapter warnings: noncon oral sex, noncon piv, degradation, degrading language, assault, slut shaming, unhinged!Joel, violence, alcohol consumption.

Oscar sits on the edge of his mattress and watches the snow lightly falling outside his bedroom window. Without an official measurement to accurately mark dates of the month, Oscar always relied on the first snowfall of the season to guess how early into December it might be. When the delicate flakes of white began fluttering in the air, he knew it would be nearing Christmas.

This time of year was laced with bittersweetness for Oscar. Prior to the ending of the world there had been beautiful moments in his life that were borne in the month of December, framed by the magical glow of seasonal snow and Christmas spirit. One of the greatest of those moments was when Oscar proposed to Elvie, his true love, the woman who would later become his wife.

It was etched into the recesses of his memory, playing in his imagination like a vintage black and white film reel with no sound. Oscar and Elvie gathered infront of a decadant Christmas tree. Oscar lowering himself to one knee infront of her, a small black jewellery box in one hand, his adoring face beaming up at her. Elvie weeping tears of joy and nodding enthusiastically before Oscar stands to kiss her passionately.

Then the memories fade abruptly, the image of Elvie's face dissipates into black, and Oscar is once more transported back to the bleak reality of life as a survivor of the apocalypse. It always takes a few moments for him to acclimatise back to the present, for both his mind and heart to connect back to consciousness. The residual aching inside his rib cage has become a familiar consistent throb, one that eventually passes once he is distracted enough by reality.

Oscar rubs his hands together to generate some warmth against the chill that has seeped into his room. Although he finished his patrol shift over an hour ago, he is still dressed in the same clothes he wore, too tired and apathetic to bother changing into something more casual.

Oscar likes his work as a patrolman and stable hand. He revels in asserting his value as a community member in any occupation, but his role as a patrolman is of particular merit. It has given him many opportunities to demonstrate his physical strength and combat abilities, aswell his problem solving skills. The work keeps him sharp, he finds.

But nothing Oscar does gives him the same level of contentment he felt while being at the library with you. The days aren't as bright or exciting without you around. You aren't there at the stables to greet him with your pretty smile, or to share pockets of emotional intimacy with him during lunch breaks. He misses telling you the entertaining things that have happened to him during the week and the endearing chortle he earns from you, the tiny bubble of pride that rises inside him to be the one whose made you laugh.

Oscar has wanted to visit you. He's thought about spontaneously popping into the library or the school when you're almost finishing for the day but the timing is never right; he either returns from patrol soon after you finish your work, or he's due to begin just before. He considered going to your cottage to say hello but he's too shy, too afraid of possibly making you feel uncomfortable. So instead he looks for you at every mealtime he attends at the mess hall, desperate to capture even the briefest glimpse of you somewhere amongst the clusters of residents. You're never there, though.

Are you eating lunch without him? Oscar wonders randomly. When you had unexpectedly crossed his path the other week, he was startled by the change in your appearance - your face looked sharper and there was something about your eyes that unsettled him...there was a distant and dull sort of quality to your orbs that he hasn't seen before. Depleated is the word that came to Oscar's mind.

How he wished he could have taken you in his arms and held you tightly, confessing how he missed everything about you, from the smell of your skin to the ribbons you wore in your hair, the absent-minded way you'd chew the end of a pencil when you were deep in thought, your never ending patience when helping someone find a book they were in search of.

Do you miss him? Even a little?

Oscar cards his fingers through his curly hair and sighs. He feels pathetic pining for something he isn't even sure is reciprocated, an affinity on his behalf that could just be a superficial friendship to you. But no, that can't be right, not when he's been witness to your tears and emotions, not when he's held you in his arms like your body pressed against him is the most natural thing in the world.

Oscar watches the snow fall and thinks of Elvie and what he told you when Maude had died; "We owe it to them to continue living. To live as best as we can to allow ourselves happiness and love."

Oscar closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. The echo of his own words in his mind grant him consolation. When he exhales and opens his eyes once more, Oscar feels the warm rush of clarity from within his heart. He vows to be bold, more courageous. He vows to no longer hide away from his feelings, to allow himself happiness and love.

Joel stood in the small space of his closet, the white shoebox balanced in his hand while he sifted through its contents with the other. He peeked into the envelope and counted the tablets safely nestled at the bottom. Still all there. His emergency stash. For any 'just in case' incidents.

He shuffled out of the closet and over to the bed with the box. He's had a hidden chest of goods for quite a while now, very gradually adding items as he discreetly procures them from scavenging expeditions and the seized bounty of defeated raiders. Things he viewed as necessities for survival, like a couple of small handguns, stacks of ammunition, a hunting knife, rope, and duct tape.

But when Joel and you had first begun seeing each other, he knew he needed a box specifically for you; a place to keep mementos and sacred things of you safe. Like the pretty gold necklace he had found six months ago during a supply run, the pendant he had been waiting to gift you at the right moment. Beside it sat the pink ribbon he stole from your cottage, as well as a pair of your dirty underwear that he managed to pilfer.

Joel's fingers skim over the simple soft cotton material of your panties with a kind of reverence. He reflects on the last couple of weeks with you as the thick pads of his fingertips caress your underwear.

Things had been going a whole lot better than he expected, Joel mused to himself. It had been easier than he initially thought, coaxing you back into his strong arms and his salivating jaws like a weak little lamb. You seemed to slot back into his embrace so easily, easily enough that it solidified Joel's belief that you needed him. That you were destined to be his.

Joel did not ascribe to any religion. He had lost faith in any kind of God long before Sarah had died. He did not believe in concepts like karma or reincarnation. But what he did believe in to some degree was destiny, and Joel believed that you were destined to belong to him. From the very first moment he laid eyes upon you, he knew you must be his.

Joel was well aware of his obsession for control and domination over the things he cared about. He knew the driving force behind this preoccupation was the debilitating fear of losing what (or who) was precious to him. The crux of it all was that Joel was incapable of admitting just how fiercely he loved; as a result, his efforts to protect and preserve were over zealous and ruthless. It was easier for Joel to capture and cage you, to deprive you of the freedom to roam this dangerous world, than to stand by your side and navigate it with you.

Joel had tried to be patient in his pursuit of ensaring you. It felt like when you had first begun giving yourself to him, when things between you were still coy and gentle. He had tried so hard not to frighten you away, to keep control of his anger, instead bestowing praises and affection on you rather than cutting words and rough squeezes of his roaming hands. And it was working well.

Now that Joel knew your body and mind so intimately, now he knew the euphoria of having you weak inside the palm of his hand, it was near impossible to restrain himself for very long. But luckily for Joel, he wouldn't need to be patient for very long.

You were changing once more, Joel observed. The more time you were spending together, the more you were reverting back to the shy little thing you always had been. Someone a little less talkative and humorous, with cheeks no longer tinged pink and healthy, with evidently less sparkle in your eyes.

Lately you were more inclined to quietly curl up against his chest rather than talk idly about your day, the little kids you taught, or whatever book you had been reading. And that was how he preferred it; you finding contentment in his arms, pouring him his nightly whiskey, massaging his aching shoulders and neck. It seemed you were finally submitting to your purpose of being his woman, his property. You even let him take those filthy polaroids. It exhilarated him to know that he was the only man privy to this side of you.

Joel looks at the handful of small square photographs now, all strewn around the box. He chooses one at random and picks it up, bringing it to his face to study closer. You are laying on your back in this one, completely naked, smiling seductively as your hands spread the lips of your pussy open for the camera to see. It is lewd, debauched. And it immediately sparks a feral need in Joel.

He reclines back on the mattress and hastily tugs his sweatpants down under his balls, releasing his hard cock. He wraps his fist around it and squeezes, a drop of precum beading at the head. He groans lowly and stares at your picture, savouring every detail of the image with obsessive vigour; the glistening wetness reflected on your pussy, the soft curve of your belly, your round breasts, your pretty eyes that stare back at him.

Such a gorgeous cock slut.

Joel begins fisting his dick while keeping his gaze focused on your image. He feels ravenous at times like this, unable to reign himself free from this carnal obsession of you. He's been fucking you as often as possible and it's still not enough. He needs to taste you, sink his teeth into your flesh, bury his cock inside you all the time. He needs to hear your whimpers and moans, how your holes spasm around him while he takes you apart.

It only takes a couple of minutes for Joel to finish. It hits him hard and sudden, his balls tightening just before ropes of milky white cum spurt over his knuckles. He grunts and pants through the high of his orgasm, sinking further into the mattress as the tension leaves his body.

When the wave of ecstasy passes and his cock grows soft in his hand, Joel takes one last look at the polaroid before he flicks it back into the box.

He knows that you let him takes those pictures because you love him and wanted to please him. Joel understood quite early on that declarations of love come easy to you, that you actually enjoy expressing your emotions. That the desire to proudly share a life together is natural for you, biological and innate. And that is where Joel and you differ significantly.

Joel knows that confessing his love for you publicly would only invite trouble into your private sanctuary. Your friends would be the worst, he suspects; he could easily imagine the jealous little bitches scrutinising his every move, trying to pressure you to behave more like them.

He could imagine how people would gossip amongst themselves, whispering behind his back that he was far too old for you, far too irredeemable for an innocent thing like yourself. No doubt they would plead with you to be careful and warn you about his murderous past - hell, he was sure that Maria, his own sister in law, would be the first one to beg you to leave him.

No, it was safer to keep this all a secret, atleast for now. Just like the contents of this shoebox.

It had become a tradition at Christmas time each year for you to bake a small assortment of cakes and cookies to gift to your friends. You would use all your monthly butter, flour, sugar and egg rations for your labour of love, happy to exhaust your allocated staples for the giddy reactions your friends bestowed on you when you gifted them their share. With a laugh you remember last Christmas, how you had run out and Kate and Ellie were kind enough to give you their own ration supplies, eager to offer assistance in exchange for the promise of their favourite baked treats.

You would spend a whole day shut up inside your kitchen preparing trays of gingerbread cookies, butter cakes and sugar cookies. When they were finished baking and cooled, you would then arrange them on squares of spare fabric and gather the edges together, then tie them into tidy little bundles with string.

But this year you didn't bake for anyone. You didn't even step foot in your kitchen. You had become ill with a cold just a couple days before Christmas and could barely summon the energy to leave your bed. Despite the horrible headache and running nose, you were disappointed to miss out on celebrating Christmas in the ways you usually did. You were unable to have dinner with your friends or gift them their cakes and biscuits.

Instead, you spent five days curled up under your blanket drifting in and out of sleep. On the second day Kate dropped in to give you a pot of soup she made, while Ellie came over armed with honey and an array of teas under Joel's instruction. Although you were miserable and too sluggish to enjoy their company, you were grateful for their care and consideration.

Joel visited you each night after patrol, quietly creeping into your cottage and sliding under the blanket to cuddle up behind your body. You were so physically exhausted that you slept through his nightly visits, and it was perhaps because of this that Joel found the confidence to squeeze you close to his chest and soothe your hair with gentle strokes of his large hand.

Two weeks after your recovery, Ellie had insisted on organising a family dinner at Joel's house for just the three of you. Ellie was eager to show you and Joel the new cooking skills she had acquired since moving in with two of her girlfriends. You could tell it was also a gesture of kindness toward Joel, a reminder that he was still her father and she still cherished his presence in her life.

Although the three of you had eaten meals together before, this was the first dinner you'd all shared since Ellie first learned of your relationship with Joel. You couldn't help but feel slightly awkward sitting at the dining table. Although Ellie approved of the relationship, you were unsure if open affection toward Joel would be inappropriate or if it would make Ellie uncomfortable. You avoided looking at Joel and focused on interacting with Ellie instead.

She had surprised you both with the dinner she had prepared; honey glazed carrots, mashed potato, omelette, and buttered cobs of corn. You could imagine Ellie spending hours in the kitchen getting everything ready, swearing loudly at every inconvenience, burning the tips of her small fingers when she was distracted, trying her absolute best to recreate whatever assortment of food she had eaten with her new housemates.

During dinner Joel was mostly silent, hardly engaging in conversation as he ate. It didn't matter much though, as Ellie was her usual talkative self and filled the silence easily with anecdotes and jokes.

"So there's gonna be this big celebration for the town," Ellie said through as she shovelled a spoonful of mashed potato into her mouth. "Like a big birthday party for Jackson."

"Oh, really?" You asked, your interest piqued.

"Yup!" Ellie confirmed, voice muffled by the hunk of potato in her mouth.

"Ellie," Joel murmered disapprovingly.

She rolled her eyes and made an exaggerated show of chewing and swallowing the food with a loud gulp. You gave her a small shake of your head and chuckled.

"Anyways, as I was saying, there's gonna be a big party and I think we should go, the three of us." Ellie looked from you to Joel, an impish expression spread across her youthful face.

Joel cleared his throat and glowered down at his plate. He busied himself with stabbing his fork into a piece of carrot. "You know I don't I like parties."

"Really?" Ellie piped loudly, feigning shock. "You? Joel 'life of the party' Miller? No way!"

You giggled. Only Ellie could get away with teasing Joel like this. It made you happy to see their interactions, the dynamic of their relationship in the privacy of their home, how the pair fell into the roles of father and daughter so naturally. And now here you were between them, a welcome presence in their lives. Like a real family, just as Joel had said you would be.

"What about you?" Ellie asked you with a raise of her eyebrows. "Wanna go?"

You brave a glance over to Joel. He chews the inside of his cheek and stares down at his plate but you know he's listening to everything that's being said. He isn't going to express his disapproval infront of Ellie. There was no need for Ellie to know the level of authority Joel had in your relationship. But you wonder if he would be more inclined to grant his permission because it was Ellie's idea, not your own.

You don't want to disappoint her, and you are already excited by the very idea of Jackson celebrating something. So you take advantage of the situation and the fact that Ellie asked first, and infront of Joel.

You give her a smile and nod eagerly.

"With you? Sure," you replied. "But wouldn't you rather go with your friends?"

"Eh, I can catch up with them later. I thought it would be cool for us to go....like family time, ya know?" Ellie said quietly, giving a small shrug to appear nonchalant.

"Oh, for sure," you murmered, not wanting to make a big thing out of her moment of vulnerability.

"Yeah, except this jackass never wants to do anything fun," she scoffed and tipped her head in Joel's direction.

"I'll be workin' till late," Joel muttered as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You two go have fun."

"Oh! And I heard Maria tell Uncle Tommy that there's gonna be a separate party for just the adults at the Bison." Ellie grinned. "Maybe you can sneak me in with you?"

Joel's head snapped up immediately and he glared at Ellie across the table. She shot a defiant smirk back at him. Joel grunted, unamused.

"Well, that's not going to happen, El. But I'm sure there will be plenty of other stuff we can do on the day." You assured her.

"Like maybe we can spike the punch and see who gets drunk first?" She grinned.

Over the course of the next week banners and signs advertising Jackson's birthday celebration were hung up around the main streets. Residents began the preparations for the different activities and food stalls that would be on offer on the day, while a committee of volunteers decorated the town hall. It was evident that this event was to be bigger than any other festival or celebration.

You had planned to spend the afternoon with Ellie at the town hall, then catch up with Kate and the others later that night at the Tipsy Bison. Joel was working patrol until late and would meet you back at your house when he was finished.

That Saturday you and Ellie spend the afternoon together exploring the festivities taking place throughout the main street. You make your way through the crowds of families and children wandering up and down the street, submerging yourselves within the collective carefree gaiety and their lively chatter and laughter.

Several of your students spot you and approach you to say hello. Your heart swells to see them buzzing with so much happiness and excitement. They need this, you think. We all do, but especially them.

Ellie is eager to check out the activities set up along the sidewalk. You both meander along, awe struck at the effort the committee and volunteers have put into creating the event for the benefit of the community. For the children there were games such as bottle knock down and ring toss, aswell as a marble competition and sack races. There were designated areas further away from the main street for more adult activities, like axe throwing and wood chopping. Amongst the flurry of action were stalls offering candied apples, sugar biscuits, fry bread, roasted corn cobs, and mugs of pumpkin soup.

You and Ellie play the ring toss and knock down games together and make your own game out of trying to distract the other so they would fail. You both double over with laughter at each other's attempts, unfazed by the other people around you.

Afterwards you sit down and munch on candied apples while watching the axe throwing competitions. Ellie is captivated by it, wide eyed and amazed at the mastery of the more skilled participants who wield the tool and launch it at the bullseye target with astounding ease. You eventually move on to spectate the wood chopping competition. Watching the row of men hacking away at thick logs of wood, their thick arms and broad backs flexing with each powerful chop, makes you think of Joel. It would've been nice to have him here with you and Ellie.

When the wood chopping finishes you stop at one of the food stalls for fry bread and a cup of soup. The soup is a welcomed nourishment from the biting cold of the wintery air and the snow still covering the ground. You're almost finished eating when three of Ellie's friends suddenly gather around you, squawking like chicks about the dance being held at the town hall. They tug on Ellie's flannel in an effort to cajole her to go along with them. She glances at you with uncertainty in her eyes, as if she's nervous to say something to you. You smile at her gently, understanding what she is unable to say.

"Go, have fun with your friends. It's okay." You pull her in for a tight hug. "I had a great time with you, kiddo."

Ellie squeezes you back. "Thanks for hanging with me."

Without further hesitation Ellie slips from your embrace and joins her friends, disappearing into the sea of people around you. You secretly hope she doesn't get caught up in too much mischief, but you knows there's not much you can stop Ellie from doing once she has her mind set on something. So you just smile to yourself and start the walk back to your cottage to get ready for the night ahead.

The night is cold, the chilly wind nipping at your cheeks and the bare skin on your legs as you walk to the bar. You're wearing one of your best dresses, a simple light blue linen swing style dress with short cap sleeves that falls just above the knee. You are thankful for the thick padding inside your coat that keeps you warm as you stroll through the streets.

••••••

There are pockets of people milling around outside the town hall where the dance is being held. You can hear country music coming from inside, intermingled with laughter and voices, the noise carrying along the cold breeze.

You arrive at the bar around 8.30pm and find Jess, Kate, Rhi and Cassie already waiting out the front for you. They wolf whistle and chortle when they see you approaching, and you laughcat their antics.

It's going to be a great night.

Rhi and Jess sashay up to the bar to order a round of beers while you, Kate and Cassie sit at one of the tables dotted throughout the place. It's a full house tonight with pockets of men and women mingling together as they chug beer and whiskey and vodka, some dancing and some playing rounds of darts and pool. The music blasts from the old jukebox in the corner and you find your foot tapping along with some of the songs.

••••••

You spend the next hour drinking beer and dancing with your friends. The high you get from the music and moving your body is exhilarating and you can't wipe the smile from your face. You cannot remember the last time you felt so weightless, so euphoric. You are too absorbed by your high to notice the appraising looks a few men are throwing your way.

It's not long before Rhi has been pursued by one of the men watching your group, some of them openly hungry in their gaze while others are more covert in their admiration. She flirts and touches his arm as she leads in to whisper in his ear. You and your friends giggle as you watch Rhi's charm in action. You adore her boldness, how unapologetic she is in her feminine sexuality, how effortlessly she chugs a glass of beer before rejecting suitors and hitting the dance floor to be with her friends.

After a while you take a break and stand in the corner by the bar to catch your breath. Yiu are in the middle of Kate and Cassie, who have to raise their voices to be heard over the music. Your eyes travel around the bar, taking in all the movement around you, and it is all so close to being too stimulating for you. You look over to the front doors and consider going outside for fresh air when Oscar walks in at that exact moment.

When Oscar enters through the saloon style doors of the bar, you almost don't recognise him. He looks dashing, dressed in dark blue jeans and boots and a snug fitting black sweater that clings to his biceps. But it isn't what he's wearing that makes you do a double take.

He's completely shaved his beard. He has cut the length of the curly hair on his head. His features are no longer obscured by unruly locks. And just as you suspected, Oscar now looks even more handsome than usual.

The angle of his jawline and the shape of his chin are strong, sharp. With the lower half of his face now naked, he appears more masculine and youthful. His lips, tugged into a confident grin, seem fuller. The shorter length of his hair highlights the thickness of it and the attractive way his hairline borders along his temples.

You are mesmerised by him.

It does not go unnoticed by your friends. Kate nudges you with her elbow and Jess makes a teasing purring sound next to your ear.

"Damn," Rhi murmers. "He's hot."

He's with Kate's brother and another young patrolman. Oscar's eyes scan over the bar but seem to settle on you almost instantly. Your stomach flutters with nerves when you see warmth fill his gaze, the crinkles form around his eyes as he gently smiles. He tilts his head slightly in greeting. You feel your cheeks blush immediately.

Oh, how you missed him.

He's so beautiful.

You give him a small nod in return, smiling shyly. For what feels like an eternity but in actuality is only a few seconds, he doesn't take his gaze away from you. Then the two other men pull him along to the corner of the bar where the dart boards are and the moment is lost. You have to tear your gaze away from him.

"Wow, Oscar looks so different!" Kate exclaims. She bumps your hip with hers softly, playfully grinning at you. "What do ya think?"

You hum quietly in agreement. Yes, he looks different. And gorgeous. Mercifully the subject of the conversation changes quickly.

You're here. He's actually seeing you. Finally.

••••••

Oscar's heart pounds when he sees your pretty face across the room. He was hoping you would be here, hoping to finally speak to you and let you know how he's been feeling these past few weeks without you in his life.

His friends pull him to the games area and he plays a few rounds of darts and a couple games of pool. He drinks beer, his eyes searching for you in the crowd over the glass rim. You look you're having fun with your friends - it's the first time Oscar's really seen you interact with your peers and it fills his heart with joy to see you laugh so much, to see you dance and sway to the music, so free and beautiful in your sensuality.

It's another hour or so before he gets the courage to approach you. He finds the opportunity when you and Kate sidle through the patrons on your way to the toilets and pass him by the pool table.

Oscar speaks your name and you turn to him, gracing him with your warm smile, the one he's missed so much recently. He notices your eyes trail over his face, taking in the details of his new appearance.

"Hey," you respond with a bashful tilt of your head. "How are you?"

"Great," Oscar raises his voice a little to be heard over the noise of the bar. He can't take his eyes off of your face. "You look beautiful."

Your cheeks flush at the compliment. "You do, too. I like your hair. Very handsome."

Oscar grins at you. "I felt like a change." It was true. He needed something to change, something cathartic to encourage him to be more daring, to live a with a little more passion. Cutting his hair and beard felt like he was shedding some kind of armour, except it did not leave him feeling vulnerable.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have a drink with me, or maybe a dance?" Oscar asked, leaning in closer to your ear.

"Uhm, okay," you reply shyly. "Maybe in a little while, yeah? I just need to go to the bathroom."

Oscar feels a little foolish. Maybe he should have found the balls to walk over to you soon, like when you were dancing. He hides his disappointment well and nods ofcourse, and steps back from you and your friend to let you pass.

He doesn't get the opportunity to dance with you or drink alongside you though. When some time has passed and he can't spot you in the throng of people, he wanders to where your friends are standing at the bar. Kate drunkenly shrugs and tells him you left already.

Oscar's heart breaks a tiny bit.

You weren't sure how long Joel had been standing with Troy and Tommy by the entry of the Tipsy Bison. He stood with his arms crossed, jaw set squarely as his dark eyes watched you. When you caught sight of his tall figure out the corner of your eye, you whirled around to take a glimpse at him. It must be late if he's knocked off his patrol shift, you think.

••••••

You're tipsy but not drunk. Tiredness is starting to seep into your body. And seeing Joel makes your tummy swim with butterflies and ignites an aching want between your legs. You're ready for him to take you home.

And he must see the look in your eyes and know because he signals you with a subtle jerk of his head. Let's go home, it says. He doesn't wait for your response before saying goodbye to Troy and Tommy and stalking out of the bar.

You say goodbye to your friends. Rhi is too preoccupied making out with the blonde ranger to notice. Kate, Jess and Cassie stumble off the dance floor, drunk, to hug and kiss you goodnight.

Ten minutes later you leave the Tipsy Bison and head home, knowing Joel will be waiting for you at your cottage.

When you reach your cottage you twist the doorknob and enter. It is dark at first and you stumble into the living room blindly, but when you flick on the light switch you see that Joel is standing in your living room, staring at you with an iciness that startles you.

"What the fuck were you doin' tonight?" He barked at you.

The venom in his words makes your blood run cold and your stomach drop.

"What?" you ask meekly. "What do you mean?"

"Dancin' like that infront of everybody, showin' your ass off to the whole damn town." Joel snaps.

"I w-was just having f-fun with my friends," you respond timidly.

You take a couple of steps backward and Joel advances on you, his fists clenching by his sides. Your heart thunders in your chest and dread begins to roil inside your guts.

"Fun?" Joel spits, scowling with disgusted fury. "Dancin' around with your slutty friends, around all those men...that's what you think is fun?"

"I-we, we just," you stammer nervously. "It was harmless, we weren't doing anything wrong.'

"This what you do while I'm at work?" Joel booms as he towers over you. "I'm out riskin' my life while you're being a whore for every fuckin' man in town?"

"No, Joel, no, I sw--"

Joel's hand shoots out and snatches a handful of your hair. He quickly winds your hair tightly around his fist and hauls you across the living room. You shriek and sob loudly as you stumble, your boots dragging over the floor, your hands clawing up at his uselessly.

"No Joel please don't!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Joel growls. He shoves you roughly to the ground on your knees. Your knees hit the floor painfully, making you yelp.

"Wanna act like a whore, I'll treat you like a whore," he mutters bitterly.

He holds you immobile by your hair, forcing you to watch his large hand work quickly to unbuckle his belt and undo the button of his jeans. The rage radiating from Joel and the sight of his belt by your face is frighteningly reminiscent of the night he punished you; panic surges wildly through your brain and your body as you're pushed into flight or fight mode.

"Joel I didn't do anything, I swear!" You plead, voice shrill with distress. The high from alcohol has disappeared.

Joel ignores you and wrangles his cock out of the confines of his jeans. He wraps his hand around the base and it bobs infront of you, already hard and wet with precum. He tugs tightly at your scalp and yanks you closer towards him so that the head of his cock is almost touching your lips.

"Show me how you use that whore mouth," Joel commands. "Open."

He glares down at you with something that looks like hatred in his dark irises and it makes your whole body wrack with fearful shivers. You're frozen still, unable to move.

"I said open your fuckin' mouth," Joel barks.

His hand leaves his cock and comes to swiftly slap you across the cheek. You sob loudly from the unexpected pain. Joel quickly thrusts his hips forward and nudges his cock head past your lips and into your mouth. You want to jerk your head away at the intrusion but his hold on your hair keeps you firmly in place. He gives you no time to protest, anyway, roughly shoving your head down onto his length and making you sputter.

"Thhhhere we go," Joel mutters. "Get it right in there, little slut."

Joel stills just before the tip of his cock hits the back of your throat. It sits thick and heavy in your mouth and you struggle to breathe around it. He gives your cheek three firm, rapid smacks.

"Open wide, now." Joel drawls.

Your lips are already stretched around Joel's thick girth but you have no choice but to obey and open your jaws wider. Saliva is pooling on your tongue on the underside of his shaft, a shameful automatic response that your body has been conditioned to from the many times your mouth has pleasured Joel.

You stare at the patch of dark hair on his pubic bone and focus on breathing through your nose, your fingernails digging into the soft flesh of your thighs in an effort to bare the torture. Joel sees this and tugs at your hair roughly.

"Fuckin' look at me," he growls. "Look at me while I fuck your face, don't you dare look away."

Tears well in your eyes as they roll upward to meet Joel's steely glare. He nods and sucks in a deep breath, then begins fucking your mouth in fast strokes. His cock head knocks the back of your throat repeatedly and makes you gag, your tears starting to trickle down your cheeks. You have to fight to keep your eyes open and trained on Joel, but it is torturous when your jaw begins to ache and you are struggling to breathe. The saliva drips messily out the corners of your mouth and over your chin.

Joel's hands hold the sides of your head to keep you still as he fucks your face. He pants while watching you intently, uncaring as you struggle to breathe beneath him, satisfied to see your nose now dripping aswell.

"This what you been doin' behind my back?" Joel sneers.

You know he doesn't expect a response - it's impossible for you to utter even a word with his thickness fucking into your mouth so savagely. The only noise you make is the wet, filthy gagging sounds coming from your throat. His hips continue thrusting into your mouth for another minute and you feel like you will pass out any moment. When your eyes start to flutter and your body begins to sag, Joel pushes down on your head so his cock slides all the way into your mouth and down your throat. He holds you in place and your nose presses flat into the hairs on his pubic bone. You are practiced at deepthroating Joel but his grip on you is so absolute, your face buried so tightly against his crotch, that you begin to panic. You reach up to claw at his thighs, your throat constricting around his shaft.

"Yeah, gag on it, baby, come on," Joel groans. He is totally lost in his own pleasure, uncaring and merciless about your pain.

You can't breathe at all now. He's never been this cruel before. You pound your fist against his thigh and try desperately to retreat but his iron like grip keeps you still. Joel moans at the sensation of your throat spasimming wildly around him.

"Yeah," he cooes, accent thick and rough with desire. "Right there, babydoll."

Joel releases you after a few more seconds, abruptly pulling you off of his dick and shoving you backward carelessly. You fall back onto your ass and cough violently as air fills your lungs back up.

"Alright now, get on ya hands and knees." Joel says breathlessly.

He stares down at you, pupils blown wide with animalistic lust, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. His erect cock, fat and throbbing, is slicked and shining with your spit. "Hurry up."

You are still choking as you catch your breath, but you somehow muster the courage to dare to shake your head, your eyes downcast, vision blurred from your tears. Your throat is too raw to verbalise your defiance.

No. Enough is enough. You cannot endure any more.

You can't see the way Joel's lip curls in disdain at your disobedience, or how he raises his hand back. Then a cracking sound echoes around the room when his large palm lands a hard slap against your face. Your body falls to the floor like a ragdoll. Your vision goes black for a second.

"Never fuckin' learn, do you?" Joel mutters.

His boots thud on the ground as he steps over your crumpled form. He crouches behind you and hikes your dress up over your ass.

"Always gotta be a disrespectful little bitch."

He tears your underwear apart with both hands and the shredded material falls from your backside. Your lower half is now exposed. You are no match for Joel. There is no possible way for you to defend yourself against the torment he plans to reign on you.

"Joel, please, don't, just stop." You whisper hoarsely.

Joel wedges his knee between your legs and spreads them open. You hear the sound of Joel spitting into his palm and covering the head of his cock in his saliva before it presses against the entrance to your pussy.

"Joel," you cry pathetically. Your head is dizzy and swimming.

His hand forcefully pushes down on your lower back, pining your hips to the ground. You squirm weakly under his hand but it's pointless. The inevitable burn of his cock pushing into your hole engulfs your whole body, followed by the intense stretch of him penetrating you.

"Fuck!" A guttural scream rips from deep in your wrecked throat.

He moans as his hips press all the way forward until they are flush against yours, his fat dick sheathed all the way inside your pussy, filling you to the point of discomfort.

"When you gonna learn that this is where you belong, baby?" Joel growls.

He rolls his hips to work in and out of you with slow, powerful thrusts. Your hands scramble blindly for purchase on the hardwood floor. Gasps and sobs rise from your sore defiled throat with each stab of his dick.

"Right here," he drawls above you. "Right here with your whore pussy full of my cock."

Joel lowers himself and reaches to gather your wrists in one of his hands and then pins them to the ground above your head. His other hand grips your hip possessively to keep you in place. His broad body is now caging you so that your torso is flattened over the floor. Your thighs are pushed wide apart as he continues assaulting you.

You did nothing wrong. All you had done was just danced with your friends. You hadn't danced with any man, not even Oscar. Why is Joel doing this? You love him so much. He had been so sweet and loving.

Joel was spearing his cock into you with an unrelenting, rhythmatic force. Your pussy was being abused so recklessly, but your entire body was screaming in pain. The joints of your hips and the muscles of your inner thighs ached from the pressure of being split open. Your wrists were stinging from Joel's nails digging into them.

The weight of his body was trapping you so that you couldn't even squirm underneath him. He clamped his heavy hand across your mouth and pounded into you mercilessly. Your screams were muffled against his palm, the streaks of your tears trickling over his fingers.

"Fuck," Joel snapped his hips against yours. "Take what I give ya," he panted, "and shut the fuck up."

When a particularly sharp punch from Joel's cock knocked against your cervix you wailed into his hand, screwing your eyes shut in agony.

"Too much for ya?" Joel spat. "Too fuckin' bad, baby. Gonna shoot my cum so deep in that pussy, it'll be drippin' outta your fuckin' mouth."

He continued to defile you, his pace so grueling that you thought you might pass out. Robbed of sufficient breath and overcome with immense anguish, you couldn't respond. Even if you were not held down by his body weight, you felt too broken and lifeless to say anything back. You closed your eyes and hot tears streamed down the sides of your face.

You had began to dissociate, too far gone to register the telltale throbbing of Joel's cock against your walls. His hips stuttered and he let out a ragged moan as he came deep inside your pussy, filling you with his warm load for the very first time. Joel rocked his hips inbetween shuddering breaths, slowly milking every last drop of his spend into you.

You were totally disconnected from reality when Joel pulled out of you and hauled himself up from the ground. You couldn't feel or think at all, your mind blank, your body numb. You didn't know he bent down to bundle you up in his arms and carry you to your room like a limp ragdoll. You couldn't mentally comprehend Joel haphazardly stripping you of your dress, pulling off your boots and then laying you down in bed.

At some point in the night the adrenaline had drained from your veins and you succumbed to the bone crushing fatigue that had replaced it. Joel's solid body was enveloping you from behind, his thick arms wrapped around your middle to keep you close. He was sleeping solidly as if nothing had happened, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm in line with his quiet snoring.

Your body went lax and you fell asleep.

taglist - @sofiparallel @harriedandharassed @kewwrites @romanarose @fan-fiction-floozy @anoverwhelmingdin @unknownsuser101 @shesarealcarpentersdream @sheeeeeppp @uncassettodiricordi @axshadows

#joel miller dark #joel miller x reader #joel miller #dark! joel miller #joel miller dark fic #dddne

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blueeyedvirgo89 · 15 days ago

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Men, your woman wants to feel deeply connected to you. She craves emotional intimacy and a bond that goes beyond the surface. It’s not just about spending time together; it’s about sharing your thoughts, fears, dreams, and vulnerabilities. She wants to feel like she knows the real you—the man behind the walls you’ve built over the years. Connection is the foundation of love, and she longs for a connection so deep that words often become unnecessary.

She wants to feel seen and understood. When she shares her heart with you, she’s not just seeking solutions; she’s inviting you into her world. Listening without judgment, offering your presence, and acknowledging her feelings makes her feel valued. She wants to know that when she speaks, you’re truly there—not distracted, not preoccupied, but fully present with her.

She needs reassurance of her place in your life. Even in the strongest relationships, women often wonder if they’re still the center of their partner’s heart. Small gestures—like a heartfelt compliment, a spontaneous date, or holding her hand in public—can reaffirm her importance. These acts show her that your love isn’t just a routine but a conscious choice you make every day.

She wants you to open up about your struggles. Many men carry their burdens in silence, believing it’s their role to be strong and stoic. But vulnerability creates connection. When you share your fears and failures, she feels trusted and valued. It shows her that you see her as your partner in every sense, someone who stands by you through the highs and the lows.

She wants to feel desired—not just physically but emotionally and intellectually. Compliment her mind as much as her beauty. Show her that you’re captivated by her soul, not just her appearance. A woman who feels cherished for all she is will respond with a love that deepens and grows.

She wants you to invest time in the relationship. In the busyness of life, it’s easy to let the relationship take a backseat. But prioritizing her—whether it’s through a weekend getaway, a meaningful conversation, or simply a night without distractions—shows her that she’s worth your time and energy. Connection thrives when nurtured, and she wants you to nurture it.

She longs for your protection, not just in the physical sense but emotionally and mentally. She wants to know that you’ll stand by her, defend her when she’s vulnerable, and create a safe space where she can be her authentic self. When she feels protected, she feels free to love you without reservation.

She wants to laugh with you. Shared joy strengthens bonds. Whether it’s through inside jokes, playful banter, or creating memories filled with laughter, these moments remind her of why she fell in love with you. Humor isn’t just about being funny; it’s about finding joy in each other’s company.

She wants to grow with you. Relationships are living, breathing entities that require growth. She dreams of walking this journey with you, evolving together and pushing each other to be better versions of yourselves. Growth isn’t always easy, but she wants a partner who is committed to learning, adapting, and striving for a deeper connection.

Above all, she wants to feel your love in every form—your words, actions, and energy. Love is more than grand gestures; it’s in the small, everyday moments. It’s in the way you look at her, the way you comfort her, and the way you stay even when things get tough. Let her feel your love, and she will give you hers in ways you’ve never imagined.

A woman’s heart is vast and deep, and when you connect with it, you’ll find a love that transforms both of you.

#love #affection #unconditional love #relationship goals #couple goals #growth #romantic #romantic couple #couple cuddling #friendship

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marilynthornhilllover · 28 days ago

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When you call my name, do you think I’ll come running?

Chapter 8 : semi-final

A/n: Alright people it is exactly ( 21 ) days before Christmas, and as promised here is chp 8, 9 and the epilogue is in the works, i do wanna give my utmost appreciation again for everything who’s showed interest and love to this series, you guys are my world :) <3. { read chapter 7 here }

- “we’re all just walking each other home”

- “ I wasn’t afraid of death because she was all I ever wanted from life”

‘Although it’s a castle that’s had almost twenty generations live through it, for the first time in nearly a century castle Dimitrescu stood silently upon it’s hills. But it’s big stone brick structure masked the sadness, rage, divinity, despair, fear and mass destruction of those who laid within. The temperature is dropping, it’s getting colder. Winter is coming.’

‘It’s that time of the year again. On one side of the world families celebrated Christmas, opened presents, kiss under a thin piece of leaf they call a mistletoe, sing chorus’s of joy and dance with their partners and kiss their children with hope that the new year may be kind to them.’

‘I wished I was on that side of the world, where love bloomed. Instead I have to be caged within a stone castle and pray to the gods above that no one uses my weakness to their advantage — Ethan would be known for that. That stupid man thing ruined everything for mother. I wish to see her more vibrant, with natural light. That girl thing gave her light — made her…. Smile. I’ve never seen mother smile before, unless she's taking a life.’

‘She’s always so stern and utterly emotionless. No tears are ever evident in those bright yellow Romanian eyes. She hides her pain deep within, so deep it clawed it’s way in her and made her it’s host, she’s a home to her own pain. She drowns in it rather than lives with it.’

‘Even when life hurts mom still chooses to carry that heaviness for us, just so one sees her crumble from the weight of it all.’

‘I’ve once dreamt of a normal life before but never will it come so I find solace in killing those that have it all, but there is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had the chance to have, to live, from which had been taken away, and the ache of it —it never goes away.’

“Cassandra!” The sound of Alcina’s voice thundered from downstairs startling Cassandra, her breath hitch and immediately she flew to her feet, sprinting across the room she dashed the small handheld notebook diary under her vanity before disappearing into flies.

Appearing downstairs she stood quietly before her mother. Even the weight of barring her presence alone was suffocating.

“ yes mother?” her voice cracked slightly as she greeted Alcina praying that the sound didn’t travel all the way to her mothers ears but Alcina was a sharp woman. Slightly turning her head, she studied the girl’s form from over her shoulder.

“ I’ll be in my chambers for the rest of the afternoon, I’m tired, ensure all the doors and windows are well boarded for your sisters, please when you’re finished you can probably go tend to the grape vines down in the cellar ,make sure they are at least the only healthy souls in this place…..” the raven haired woman whispered and before Cassandra knew it her mother had already disappeared from in front of her . Alcina knew that some brave soul would always sneak into the castle at this exact time when she prone to take an afternoon rest.

It’s like they knew of her daily schedule more than she even knew it, though she never noticed anything going missing she knew they had to be looking for something more important. The key…..

So she hid a fake duplicate under the lamp on the bedside table and pretended to be asleep. She waited for a while, and a while and a while more but eventually she ended up accidentally falling into deep slumber. She was tired — An old restless soul.

She was awaken by a soft thud and a quieted groan from across the room that she thought was a dream but then the sound of her balcony door clicking alerted every cell in her body that this was reality. She laid there as still as can be, listening to the shallow footsteps. There was a faint creaking in the floor boards that resulted in a sudden pause before they continued. As they got closer alcina prepared her attack. With the closest proximity of the last step towards the dresser she pulled out her claws.

“ wait! Wait! Wait! P-please don’t!” Alcina’s movement came to a quick halt when her eyes bared witness to a small fragile red haired and greened eyed girl. Alcina closed her eyes and sighed heavily. When she reopened them she swore she could see more clearly. Must be the fatigue. The girl that stood before her was shivering like a lost puppy left to a pack of wolves. Poor girl almost got shredded to pieces, but she wouldn’t have went to waste…. Alcina would have made sure of it. The young ones are always the sweetest.

But She’s not a monster.

The girl’s breathing got more shallow before she erupted into a fit of short hyperventilation and a limb shaking mess. Alcina quickly removed herself from the arms of her bed and wrapped the girl up in her embrace.

“ hush now child. What troubles you? What is your name?” She questioned and the girl replied with a faint “ Annie ”. Alcina nodded before she gently released the girl.

“ Annie ” she muttered to herself, She pondered a while before her gaze flicked up to Annie’s “what adventures include you being here, at this hour?” The girl bit her lips embarrassed and looked away, skeptical of her answer —choosing it wisely.

“ I’m apart of this survival winter club where we challenge our friends to do experimenting dares and last one to come back alive wins, mine was to steal one of your French red lipstick from your drawer” the girl whispered, looking everywhere but at the woman above her. Alcina’s eyebrow quirked before she released a small pathetic scoff.

“ so this…. Winter death club, it never occurred to you that maybe none of you would come back alive?, especially if you keep it up in this territory of mines?” Alcina asked slowly getting irritated. She looked down at the child and smirks before rising to her feet.

“ you are a lucky one dra—“ she immediately stops herself. Draga…. Such a small with a grand hidden meaning.

“ has it ever occurred to you that you’re tall as fuck lady?” Annie mutters to herself, maybe a little too loud. Breaking Alcina from her racing thoughts, her eyes snap downwards as her mouth opens in a small “o”.

“ young lady have you parents never thought you to have manners and respect for your elders!? or have you forgotten just who you stand before” Alcina says quietly but her tone doesn’t waver from it’s firmness.

“ no ma’am my parents are dead anyways, all i have is y/n” Annie states, sloughing her shoulders. Alcina’s body immediately tensed. Was she dreaming? Was she sleeping? Was she hallucinating? It’s almost been a year since you left her heart to go find wood for the fire that you ignited and never returned, she remembered and remembering was like an open wound. She wanted to go look for you like the last time when you had gone missing from her clasp but she found endless comfort in hiding.

Afraid of what she might find.

She wished you would return, even if it was as a shadow, even if it was as a dream. Alcina felt many different heartaches and lost throughout her lifetime but nothing compares to losing you and every night before she laid her head to rest the thought of you not being besides her, safe and happy tore her apart— it clung to her, it haunted her. But she knew you’d return, searching for the woman you loved, not the monster you saw.

Is there another life? Shall she awake and find all this a dream? There must be—she cannot be created for this sort of suffering but when can alcina ever say your name and have it mean only your name and not the catastrophe you cause in her weeping heart.

“ you ok?” Annie asked and alcina just nodded.

“ I’ve gotta get back before it gets dark” she spoke up again, this time louder because she saw the faraway look in Alcina’s eyes.

“ I shall accompany you back, my lycans don’t attack when I’m around because they know my scent, you can’t not die by my hands but die by my works” Alcina affirmed sarcastically, grabbing her coat from it’s rack before accompanying the girl out side and into the woods.

“ we actually don’t live far from here” Annie said breaking the silence, also hoping to lighten the mood. Alcina only nodded before she quickly drifted way in her thoughts again. Annie continued walking but kept glancing up at Alcina’s face now and then, studying her almost.

“ are you always this kind? I don’t mean it in a rude way but people talk…. They say things only imaginable in the movies…. You know the ones where there are monsters” Annie whispered almost to herself, but she quickly slapped her hand over her mouth after realizing that she let one of her deeper inner thoughts escape. Alcina’s feet stopped dead in their tracks, looking down at the girl before bending to her level. She wasn’t sure what to say…. If you were hear you’d had the right words prepared. That’s one thing alcina loved about you, your mind was a person if it’s own. She wondered for a moment if the person whose name you called was really you. Surely some people had similar names. What if it was someone else…. Maybe she was just being stupid. But you’d want her to try. To keep fighting. To keep looking within.

Alcina rose to her feet and sighed, looking ahead in the distance.

“ how much further?” She asked glancing down at Annie.

“ just a few more quarter trees” she answered. Alcina chuckled softly and shook her head looking at the girl in disbelief.

“ what?!” Annie asked pouting and subconsciously stomping her feet.

“ nothing my dear , it’s just rare to find cleaver girls like you in this……” Alcina paused, she didn’t know what anything was anymore, she was suddenly at a lost for words. she didn’t know if she should say world or lifetime or generation or earth. She just missed you. Half of her is missing, and what’s left is missing you. You were her other half.

Annie refrained from speaking and even looking at Alcina for the rest of the journey. Until the finally got to the house. It was a good size cottage. At the back was a little garden and at the front had porch chairs. The house looked modern and well kept. Alcina hummed in delight and followed the little girl inside. Upon entry Alcina noticed that it was even more spectacular. It was like those mini castles you saw in cartoons. And the aroma was majestic. The smell of plane citrus and lavender, mixed with something of olden spice.

“ she’ll probably be back later, I’m gonna go haunting for some fruits— I’m feeling berries but I’ll see, I’ll be back later, promise not to break anything?” Annie asked. And alcina just pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at the girl.

“ right…. Anyway I’m off!” She squeaked before disappearing out the door again.

“ promise not to break anything” Alcina repeated in a mocking tone, as she scoffed before getting up. Alcina couldn’t blame herself though, in the girl’s eyesight she probably had a pacifier and two ponytails, how ironic. Alcina looked around and a sign caught her eyes. It looked like Annie’s room, it was a light pink door decorated with stickers and hanged at the top was a dirty white piece of a paper that read.

‘it’s A-NEE not AN-EE, get it right bitches’

How old was this girl again? 10?, 12? Alcina thought to herself. She couldn’t help the smile that creeped up her face though. She reminded her of Daniela when she was younger. alcina sighed, she felt an familiar weight being placed on her shoulders once more, so she knew it was time for her to take her leave. on her way out she left Annie a lipstick stained napkin on the kitchen door post. the walk back to castle dimitrescu was silent, lyncans could be heard growling in the distance as the night sky grew colder.

For a moment alcina was drowning in her thoughts. Annie wasn’t a too bad of a kid. She was a brave one, she’ll give her that. But Annie’s break in was only today….. that meant that she’s not the culprit for the regular break in’s. And whoever was behind it was still searching for what ever they were looking for. Her thoughts raced and she could feel her heart beat kick out at the split thought of mother Miranda. She shook off the feeling of fear and doubt and decided to take the shorter root home.

“ Good afternoon my lady” Alcina was greeted at the door by her new head maid Fatimah, an old pridful lady who sevred almost 35 years in the military. she had a lighting like scar over her left eye and her skin was twice as pale as Alcina’s, her hair was as dark as midnight and her eyes twinkled with a shift of pure emptiness. At first glance it wasn't possible to know if she was alive or dead, for in her eyes stirred darkness and light, the contrast of both somehow always seemed to outweigh eachother, cutting her a victim of both.

“ the girls have eaten already…. without you” Fatimah spoke extending her hand out to give alcina a neat blue liquid pill and a small glass of water. alcina took the pill and placed it between her lips, pausing for a small moment before she silently agreed with herself to swallow it without the water. her body twitched as the pill pasted through her body and reacted aggressively with her cells in an instant. Inside was a raging war, the monster that laid within fought against it’s restraints every chance it got. It was clawing its way out, it was killing her slowly. Alcina’s hand flew to Fatimah’s wrist for stability, knocking the glass out of her hands causing it to crash loudly on the floor beneath them.

“ i’ll have the buttler prepare you a visit to get more pills from Madam Leila l'assistant first thing tomorrow. it’s either that or you pay….. the other one a visit, the choice is yours, time is of the essence and if wasted you will not be guaranteed a safe transfer of power between this thing inside you any longer” Fatimah whispered, now holding alcina with her last remaining ounce of strength. Alcina groans as her body faills her completely as she falls helplessly to the ground.

“my lady let me help you-” she reaches her hand out to help alcina but she swats her hand away, and stumbles to her feet by herself.

“ this is the price i must pay, it has no cure ,someone else has to pay the price for me, so I’m afraid you cannot help me” Alcina growls again before her neck tics, and her arm twitches as discolored veins can be seen quickly passing through the underneath of her thin pale skin. she whimpers before walking pass Fatimah to make her way upstairs to her chambers. But before she got far enough away Fatimah reached out and grabbed her upper arm.

“ it doesn't have to be this way, my lady” she uttered with a heavy heart, sighing softly.

“ I'm afraid that is the way it must be” were the last two sentences exchanged between the two women before alcina finally disappeared into the distance. when she got to her room she was about to turn the knob when she realized that the door was already slightly ajar. her face contorted into confusion and panic nestled inside her.

pushing the door open her heart dropped and she felt for the first time fear taking over her body, the fear she saw on her vicims face was now running through her veins and it’s been living inside her since you failed to return but now you were sitting on the edge of her bed. Dressed in all black, you had cut your hair and dyed it jet black, your skin was white with tiny evident scars on your neck, and oh how dead your eyes looked, they no longer held the spark that gave alcina the strength to go on even now.

“ we need to talk my love….” were the only words you trusted yourself to say because you felt as if you were to have said more you would fall apart before her and all of this trauma would be for nothing. Alcina felt sick, physically sick, maybe emotionally too. She didn’t want to believe that you were actually alive, at least part of her. Because forcing herself to believe that you were dead had already brought her a sense of comfort that she wanted to hold on to. But there was still a part of her that clung to the memories of you with all the remaining living cells and functioning cells she had left.

Even though your entire body was shaking with adrenaline you somehow managed to stand to your feet and you fought hard to keep your tears at bay.

“ aren’t you going say anything?” Your voice was barely above a whisper and you could feel the blood rushing to your veins as you heard the thudding of your heart beat in your ears. You saw the way her face scrunched up as her hand quickly made it’s way to her stomach as the other clutched the nearest surface for stability. The room fell silent for a while and the tension began to rise but before you could speak up again she beats you to it.

“ I didn’t kill her— y- your mother, I didn’t kill her draga” she muttered weakly before she slowly started approaching you. You didn’t know why you released a deep sigh, you knew that already— well you had a feeling but hearing her say it gave you the reassurance your soul needed.

“ but— I’m dying my love” what…. She’s what…. It— no it’s not possible It can’t be, hearing that was like a brutal kick to the gut. Alcina probably saw the pain of the realization slowly making it’s way to your brain so that’s when she held your face into the palm of her hands and whispered it again.

“ no. No!, no stop it, stop lying to me!” You grabbed her wrist and shoved her away but she didn’t move, she just stood there…. Clearly in pain from something internal, she was suffering…. Right in front of you too, alcina was known as a woman of hiding her pain but now….. You shook your head again in disbelief , you refused to believe that the love of your life was dying. Suddenly your whole world fell apart again. Your chest hurt and everytime you inhaled a sharp burning sensation took over your body and your vision went weak from the tears that began to flow from your eyes uncontrollably.

You felt alcina wrap her arms around you and cradled your head as she swayed your back and forth gently. You sobbed into her neck and held onto her for dear life, because who knows this might just be the last time you do. Alcina pulled back and pressed a gentle kiss against your lips and softly caressed your cheek.

“ we need to talk” she urged, but this time it’s she that’s saying it to you, and hers sounded more serious. She intertwined her hands in yours and quickly guided you out of the room and down through a hallway you’ve never seen before. She leads you to this big stone like sliver door and knocks three times, after a while the door opens by itself, she guides you through and you almost vomit at the stench that filled your nose. You pulled back a little bit Alcina gave you a firm tug that had you continuing to follow her down some narrow stairs and into a dungeon like room.

The room was barely lit with a dozen candles and in the center laid a big table. Around were tall shelves that reached all the way up to the ceiling sunlight window. It was old and Erie. You sneezed two times when alcina dusted off a big giant book and placed it on the table in front of the both of you . She gave you a weak smile before she then had the fire place roaring to life, adding some warmth to the room. And of course more light because two bats angrily flew pass the both of you and ventured to soar higher up into the ceiling.

Alcina patted the stool beside her and you immediately followed suit and sat beside her. You looked at the table to see little lines and mark engraved in it and the closer you looked the more you realized that it was a map of Romania and what looked like a big under tunnel leading to another big city that had it’s own map.

You were broken from your trance when you hear alcinas voice.

“ vremurile străvechi “ she croaked, it’s been a while since you heard her speak Romanian, and she’s still as good as you remembered.

“ what’s that?” you questioned, turning to face her. She gestured her head towards the book and you glanced at it. It was a huge book nonetheless, dusty, it was green but the color was faded to a light grayish green but then name “ the ancient times” was still written on it in gold.

“ it’s the name the black god gave to this book…. It has everything anyone ever needs to know about ancient Romania, before the Cold War, the Spanish flu, the blood wars, the red plague and the stone black ages.” You gasped clearly intrigued as she went on.

“ this book is our history. For what happened and for what is to come….” She mumbled, quickly glancing away before she cleared her throat.

“ I’m gonna say some stuff and I need you to pay close attention to every word that comes out of my mouth ok?” She pressed urgently and you nodded quickly in confirmation, searching her eyes for clarity. She sighed and sat up straight.

“ I got infected when the Cold War had broken out, the disease I suffer from is called mortem in Latin….. it means death, it’s in the ancient book it’s known as the Arachno-arthropod. I got infected from a lycan bite and was left to die, but Miranda had made a promise to my mother to protect me at all cost so she preserved my life and turned me into this….. thing that lives within the walls of me. Which causes me to have Porphyria.” She pauses a while and allows the information to register into your brain, she searches your eyes for comprehension and when she found a hint of it she continued.

“ this thing…. Doesn’t have a name, it was formed by the Cadou mold Miranda used on me as an experiment. All I know is that it’s a parasitic dragon that’s blood hungry and once out…. All of humanity will be lost. It kills everything in it’s path…. It’s been sleeping for as long as I’ve become immortal, Miranda made sure of that. But now it seeks something far more than I can provide, and I’m uncertain if this is Miranda’s doing to make me hurt you. it’s eating it’s way out of me, and soon—“ you close your eyes and bring one your hands to her chest in defense.

“ stop, please” you whispered and you hear her shuffle against you. She gently grabs hold of your hand and brings it to her lips, pressing her lips against them. You remove your hand from your face and sighed. You managed to recollect yourself then you gave her the permission to continue speaking.

“ this book, it’s Latin name is antiquis” she opens the book and flips through a couple pages before her action comes to a halt. She stops on page LXXVII, there’s a picture of a man with a black hawk like mask dressed in an enveloped slender black cloak. And beside him stood the most beautiful woman you’ve honestly ever seen. Alcina pauses for a moment to recollect her thoughts or to probably find the right words to explain all this catastrophe to you. While she’s doing this you read along— well try to at least because everything seems to be written in either what looks like Latin and Romanian.

But you did caught hold of some things like dates such as 1915 and some other stuff like names like Ayssane and Celiancis.

“ the black god was married to a common village woman who he held captive during the blood war, rumor had it they fell madly in love and got married at the black lake where she was bathed in half her family’s blood. To unite them— but before I get to that I’d like to start from the beginning”

“ before the black god was his mother, the power queen, she was multi called, Celiancis in Latin, she’s like those organisms who doesn’t needed the other sex to make offsprings. And had the black gods and sadly a sunset baby girl, the black god was unable to have children due to his mother being celiancis so he had an affair with mother Miranda….. who later killed his wife to become the final mistress— and there’s a rule in this book it goes, ‘if your mistress kills your pupa all power must be transferred to the mistress’, so that’s the backstory of mother Miranda’s powers, she’s always been the way she is now… destroying to achieve” she zones out for a split second before she flips a couple pages.

“ before he died though he used his sisters blood to procreate a son, king solem, who married many village women and had many children for, some he never knew and never claimed, his throne only had two heirs after his death— he didn’t rule for very long. Ethan winters is one of his sons…..” your eyes snap up to hers and you could see the pain and anger in her eyes. It all made sense now, that’s why she hated Ethan so much. And always protect the girls from him— that’s why he knows so much about the girls and his way around and in castle Dimitrescu, but things still don’t add up, why would Ethan want to kill the girls if they are distant relatives?. As if Alcina could read your thoughts she spoke up.

“ Ethan believes that because he’s related to the black god by probably 0.1% of dna because again the black god made his father using his sisters blood and some how changed his son solemns entire dna and made him reproductive, so he thinks he’s entitled to some claim and I’m what’s stopping him from achieving that— because I’m from the origin Cesare family of ancient Italy and if you walk far enough down my family tree I’m also connected with family ties leading to the black god” Alcina stops abruptly and chuckles when she sees your trained and judgy expression.

“ anyway, before he too died, he also used his aunts blood to create daughters….. Stefania and ellianja, but history remembers them as the blood sisters or the dark sisters works fine too” now it’s you that’s pausing to chuckle.

“ I guess that name was common in Ancient Romania then, isn’t that the girls nickname?” You ask and alcina nods in confirmation.

“ that’s because mother Miranda used their blood to create Bella, Daniella and Cassandra, and the reason they have that coldness weakness is because stefania and Ella originally died from being frozen in the black lake by their own father” she states, your eye brow quirked and you tilted your head in confusion.

“ so he created daughters just to kill them? That doesn’t make sense why did he do that?” You ask she she shrugged.

“ the book doesn’t say my dear, no one it history has an answer to that” she says and looks between you and the book.

“ this book has information no one should ever bare witness too, and if held captive in the wrong arms…. War will break out again.” Alcina shifts uncomfortably in her seat and clears her throat. You didn’t know why she was telling you all this now, but you were grateful it’s a sign of trust and she’s taking her time to be honest with you, you cherished that. But then something in you clicked.

�� wait… if there was two sisters how did Miranda make three duplicate organisms?” You ask, you watch as alcina sucks in a steady breath as if she needed to brace herself and broke eye contact with you for a moment before she returns your compelling stare. She suddenly looked so unbearable, uncomfortably and stiff, as if you had said something so terribly out of line. And to be honest it scared the shit out of you. She responded before you had the time to reask the question.

“ eventually it was just Stefania and Ella but then after centuries of having her blood used to procreate live offsprings— I don’t know how to explain this but her parasite form found a host and her name became eloane, eventually her soul was laid to rest but she had a daughter, by herself and her name was rata, but pronounced as Rafa. Rata had a daughter named Berlin….. the book says the fifth girl offspring created from an celiancis produce will bring the black goddess or rather the power queen back to life in the final village battle if she drank one of her relatives blood or the blood of the mortem beast, but that’s if the village is under attack by another entity, which only one stands and her name is mother Miranda…..”

“ y/n you are that fifth offspring, Berlin was your mother” you breathed in sharply as your hand flew to your chest, almost collapsing over the stool you felt your heart physically leap out of your chest in a high dive. What did she just say to you? For a moment you wanted it all to be a dream, this, her what she just said, you so badly wanted to wake the fuck up because for a moment you forgot how to breath, you were still alive but you heart had long stopped pumping.

Everything was crystal clear now, that’s why for every one of your birthdays when you asked your mother if your dad was ever going to come back home she made up some dumb excuse about him being in the military and why she always kept you from going too far up north, or why she even forbidded you from going even remotely near south boundaries of castle Dimitrescu in the first place. She lied to you…. Even when you asked her, even when you tried to understand her. She chose to continue to lie to your face, but maybe she didn’t know what to say because she probably didn’t understand it herself.

Alcina did say no one has ever been able to get information from the book so maybe she didn’t even have the correct information to tell you.

Maybe she found out just as how are now. Maybe she was just doing what’s best for you by protecting you. Because now you understood because now it tore you apart. Your ears were ringing and you could see little colorful lights swirling in your vision as your body fell limb against her. You could hear her muttering stuff to you and her hands in your hair but it didn’t register into your brain. You felt nothing but pain and agony.

—————-

After what felt like eternity alcina had finally managed to get you out of shock. She had you pressed up against the bed post with two pillows behind you and two under your body. She gently pressed a wet cloth on your forehead to keep down your fever.

“ people don’t hear news like this everyday” she whispered, Removing the cloth to damp it again before placing it back to your forehead. You peak one eye open then open up the both of them to look at her. You reached out and took her hand in yours and she gave it a firm reassuring squeeze. Your heart felt heavy, like the weight of the world rested upon it. And you desperately wanted to be free from all this misery.

“ thank you for being honest with me alcina” you spoke softly. She just sat there staring at you before her eyes landed on your lips and she caved. She leaned down and placed a kiss on your lips and when she pulled back you grabbed her head and pulled her back in, savoring the taste of her. She pulled away and removed the cloth from your forehead again.

“ sometimes i grieve the person I could be, i feel like I’m everything and everyone but myself and it hurts, loving everyone but myself hurts, loving y—you hurts” you gently whisper but your voice cracked at its exhaustion. for a moment the room fell silent as the both of you got lost in each others eyes. Where all the storms of pain, grief and betrayal laid.

“ sometimes we suffer because we were born too stuffer, Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn't make you stronger. It doesn't build character. It only hurts” you could hear the pain in Alcinas voice and for some reason it doesn’t bother you anymore. It doesn’t break your heart anymore.

“ so how do you deal with it? The pain of knowing” you asked sitting up better against the cold wooden bed post.

“ you have to be able to find solace in it” she simply states and you give her a weak smile to which she mirrors, but deep down you could see that there something she was hiding something that still clung to her. But you chose to leave her alone, she had already shared enough and as much as knowing the truth hurts, knowing her and getting to meet her will never cause your heart to crumble to pieces — that your sure of.

“ I leave tomorrow at dawn to go into the town to get medicine” she states. You nodded in understandment. She disappeared into the bathroom and you were left to wonder in the haze your own thoughts. This all cannot be happening. It just can’t, ever since alcina came into your life you’ve be suffocated in some way, strangled and scared in more than one ways imaginable. Loving her hurts but you enjoyed the pain because she’s the only one who’s ever truly cared. You don’t know what tomorrow holds but for tonight you chose to sleep with simplicity, if anything were to happen, no grave would hold your body down, you’d always find your way back home to her.

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