#or because she just got sexually harassed or otherwise misogynistically victimized

[adhdo5]

Really kind of wild to me how much of fandom perception of SQX is as anything but a trans woman. Like ????

[shesnotnice]

wait what allegations

here is the brief:

twitter hates miles (and loves to make fun of ppl from tumblr n instagram who r fans of him). whenever someone new asks “why do we all hate miles again?” ppl say that he harassed a journalist (which is true, he made a crude joke and then apologised for it), and that they heard he had tried to sleep with or did sleep with underage fans. then the people on twitter go “oh okay!“ and dont ask them to cite their sources.

here’s a google docs i made disproving it, maybe u guys will take more time to read it than anyone trying to argue separate points to me on twitter because they dont know how to do critical thinking and act as if i, a person who has been sexually assaulted, would want NOT to believe the victim. (i am @urlowbeams)

also i only did this because i KNOW alex and arctic monkeys are already kind of problematic. if the allegations were true which would mean that alex is best friends w a groomer, i would not be okay with being a fan of them. since ive come to the conclusion that they are NOT true, im fine with being a fan of them. i’m neutral towards miles, i dont really care about him further than his relationship with alex.

matt also cheated on his wife and divorced her right after she lost her parents, and alex probably cheated on taylor. (taylor was also a crazy all lives matters bitch and like cussed out some fans n stuff so like . idk but he’s still a dick for cheating on her). u can go to the drama tumblrs n find out i like @/around-clavius theyve got like. informational stuff n their navigation is really good lol i copied their mobile navigation pinned post thing.

because theyre not sexual predators, homophobes, racists, or misogynists, ive just accepted that the standards we hold for celebrities have to be different than the ones we have for our friends, otherwise there would be no media to consume, because no one who is famous is unproblematic.

[rahullkohli]

okay, so ive been reliving my own trauma to engage in conversations about rape all day, so i really wanna make this point over here as well, because a lot of people on tumblr really need to hear this.

yes, it's extremely important that "the good men" speak up and confront the rape culture in their communities; that they address it head-on and call out their buddies when they say rapey and misogynistic shit. that they are vocal, not only to their best friends, but to their families and in classes, at work, in the locker room etc. about that shit not being cool. this is important to make rapists afraid of being rapists.

but something that is also really important that i rarely see even mentioned, is to put focus on women's reactions to hearing other women come forward with their stories. i know that for a lot of women skepsism may root in the fear that this is things that are actually happening. and it could be your dad, or brother, or boyfriend, or best friend, or favorite teacher or someone else really close to you - but every time a woman comes forward and says that she has been raped, or otherwise sexually abused or harassed, there are an abundance of women who doesn't believe it. women who make excuses for the rapist, women who takes to attack the victim, "innocent until proven guilty" women, women who looks the other way.

that shit needs to stop!

the first rape i remember i was 12. my best friends said "nah kasper is such a nice guy". he was popular. i was new in town and dubbed "the weirdo". the second rape i was 13, and didn't tell anyone because he was almost 20 and my sister's ex boyfriend, and he was adored by everyone. the third time i was 16 and i thought he was my best friend. about six months later i told my boyfriend at the time, and as with every other thing regarding my mental health he didn't directly say the words, but he brushed it off as something i said for attention. later in the relationship he started raping and beating me. that lasted six months. i was 17, and ended up in the hospital for trying to kill myself when that relationship ended. i later got a girlfriend who also didn't believe me, despite her being a survivor of child sexual abuse.

i havent told anyone in my family about this. i actually haven't talked to anyone about this irl until this year. i am 31. the only people who are in my life now who knows are therapists. one of these also activated repressed memories of me having been sexually abused as a child and i haven't dared asking my parents or sisters if they know anything about it.

women need to support women. girls need to support girls. believe it when someone tells their story. this is not a treatment anyone wants to go through for attention and entertainment. rape victims are treated like shit - by the media, by authorities, by teachers, by family, by friends, by anyone who hears about. because people will twist and turn and question every word, comma, dot or breath these women - we - will say about this. it's not the rapists' lives who gets ruined. and if it is, then they did that to themselves! but someone - not just women, anyone - who has ever been sexually assaulted, harassed or raped, will be at war with their own mind and body, because of a choice someone else made for them. this is not a joke, this is not a matter of differentiating opinions. rape victims kill themselves all the time, and a lot of that comes from not having anyone in their corner.

if anyone tells you they were raped, don't you dare raise doubts. and if you ever hear anyone else have doubts about someone who was raped, you speak up and confront them. this trend needs to end now!

[violetsystems]

#personal

When people wonder how long I’ve spent being ignored down here like everybody else it’s nothing compared to how long I’ve held the same job.  Truly one of the things I’ve been most successful with in proving consistency has been my work ethic.  It helps that it returns financial compensation and benefits not that any of that impresses anyone these days.  I say that work is work a lot and leave it at that.  It is important to note I work in an extremely liberal environment.  I don’t mind being inclusive in fact I think it’s more rewarding in the long run.  You expect that respecting people’s right to be will create an atmosphere that encourages you to do the same.  This is the Utopian vision of liberal America that always has it’s heart in the right place but fumbles upon execution.  Mainly because accepting people in America seems to be largely an egocentric experience.  We the people.  Wait who are we all again really?  It’s true I don’t really feel much in line with extreme politics on either side these days.  I spent years soul searching after making dance music on how to do something more important.  I volunteered for a Korean American Festival for three years back in 2011 through 2013.  That imploded in such a Tarantino-esque way like everything else in my life.  People come together and power struggles emerge out of the vacuum.   Around 2013 I worked with a collective of mostly women from my school in a project called Collective Cleaners.  It was a project about cleaning and the value of human labor.  I learned how to weave rags from old bedsheets.  We did a year long show at Jane Addams Hull House at UIC.  I could go on and on right.   But it seems like I’m telling a joke about my life with no actual punchline.  Like I’m mockumentary in the flesh.  Here I am still out here ambiguous proving myself to some phantom army.  And here I am still not good enough for America staring it in the face.  After all this my life is still a fucking joke to people in the worst and most hurtful way.  It becomes exhausting to remind people you have acted on solutions to these modern problems.  Nobody cares about me and what I do about it year after year.  Trust me I get that part by now.  That’s what it seemed like for awhile.  And then I had the painful realization that the work never stops.  And it seems like I’m all alone doing all the work.  To be truthful a lot of the work and expectations follow me around after I leave my day job.  On my lunch break I had to break up a fight between a white christian woman and a fake monk on Michigan before it happened.  The woman came running down the street making a sign of the cross with her fingers.  I stepped in front of her and calmly asked her what the fuck she was doing.  She ran away in opposite direction.  Where’s my comic book Marvel?  

For all the things I’ve done I’m still just as mistrusted and questionable in the eyes of the social elite.  I’m never quite good enough.  Never quite valid enough to prove I’m just as just viable as a closet misogynist with a six figure salary.  I’ve been questionable for years only to realize that nobody has any answers for me on how to be otherwise without being me.  Other than me.  And so in the end only I really know how successful this has all been.  And only I know when it’s appropriate to stay the course or give up entirely.  I haven’t given up.  That’s self confidence talking.  And sometimes you have to lead yourself forward towards some sort of progress through the hazy chaos.  I spent an entire year answering political calls and surveys out of guilt.  Mostly due to what I would hear from my peers about the intrinsic value of being politically aware and woke in the arts.  When it comes to American politics I do participate at bare minimum in voting.  One robocall asked my political leanings.  I said left.  “So I’ll mark you down as progressive.”  I didn’t know how I felt about it at the time.  Progressive in Illinois is a strange beast.  We elected a billionaire for Governor and a lawyer for Mayor.  At surface level that sounds horrible and I guess the more you dig into Chicago and Illinois politics you’d find the same shit.  You need money in America to have a say in politics regardless of how many free speech arguments you win on the Internet.  You can of course vote and it would be remiss to say I haven’t seen progress in that.  As of January we have recreational Marijuana and abortion legal across the state.  I have seen the drug war up close and personal.  It sounds like I’m a vice news reporter.  I’ve probably nudged up against them too in the field but they pretend I don’t exist.  Maybe that’s a parable of the drug war and the media industrial complex.  Maybe shit was lame.  All I know is through a series of miracles in the democratic process smoking weed in Chicago isn’t as dangerous to your personal freedom as it used to be.  Making friends in public still is.  Welcome to snitchville.  Whereas New York is up close but never personal Chicago is your best friend and your arch enemy at the same time.  Progressive politics signifies that things move on, evolve and change.  I’ve read enough news feeds to understand the Governor made whatever possible by crossing the aisles.  Which can be read as compromise.  That’s government.  I’m a private citizen in America.  Or so one would think.  There’s endless commentary about how people like me don’t do enough.  Americans love to talk all day about privacy and talk can be cheap.  Facing the realities of a growing surveillance state that likes to masquerade as the land of the free is troubling.  So can facing the reality your favorite punk rock festival is using public space for profit in under served neighborhoods.  I’m more concerned about white dad rock masquerading as punk.  But insecure men would rather lash out at the me too movement than rock the boat.  You pick your battles right?  Generally when I’ve been the one to stand up to things it’s been about not moving backwards in terms of progressive beliefs.  I believe in a woman’s right to choose.  I got targeted on the street all summer because of it by Christians who thought it was ok to bring it to my face.  I didn’t get a medal and I sure as fuck didn’t really get a pat on the back.  I still have my secret support systems but I don’t have the luxury any more of hiding from who I am and what I believe.  I often stand by myself and what I believe and suffer for it.  Or worse it gets hijacked, misunderstood, and misrepresented by someone’s interpretation of what I’m trying to say.  And I sit here every Saturday morning wondering if I’ve made any progress in being happy at all.  

After failing so much in everything you get a little tired of falling for the same old tricks.  The personal is the most political you can be and I have years of resistance to draw from.  Nobody ever wants me to be me even after all the passionate posts on the internet about what I believe.  It goes nowhere.  There are people who do understand and people I trust.  But the reality in America is that is few and far between in public space.  The propaganda that we’re all free is largely based on some huge stipulations.  Money is one of them.  I work for a non profit.  You can do the math.  It feels like everything that the Left wanted me to be based on critique is largely ignored unless I have my wallet out.  And even then I’ve been happier being less liberal with my money in places where it isn’t respected.  I guess I could run away to Hong Kong and start over.  The irony of that is pretty funny right now.  I haven’t talked to that side of the family in a while since I’ve been off Facebook.  I haven’t left the country since I came back from China, Korea and Japan by myself since the first summit between Moon Jae-in and the other guy.  I don’t know that I feel very safe leaving the country.  I don’t feel very safe leaving my house these days.  So do I shrivel up and waste away hoping somebody will save me.  What have I done to deserve all this I’m not sure.  I’ve spent over three years clocking in hundreds of miles running around desolate and abandoned areas of Chicago.  What am I really afraid of at this point?  Dying alone and forgotten?  I feel dead inside already every day.  I have no hope any of this will change no matter how much we sit and argue about it.  Nobody does anything.  Nobody is out there with me other than the people close to my heart.  Nobody invites me to a special club other than me at my kitchen table on a Saturday morning.  For all the good I’ve done I’m still the first person to scapegoat as ‘problematic’ after all these years.  And I can’t even profit off it on the internet?  That’s a joke.  If listening to all these criticisms and taking them to heart got me where I am why do we still pay so much attention to Dave Chapelle’s career and for profit opinion?  I’m invisible.  Just like all the victims out there who are invalidated when somebody says they’re over reacting to sexual abuse and harassment.  I think America has enough problems that nobody wants to confront without us having an opinion about any other country’s sovereign dirty laundry.  And this is where I think we can all learn a little something about progress.  I got to where I am by believing in myself and resisting people’s judgements of who I am.  I got there by challenging my own perspective and growing into my own by putting my ideas into practice.  It hasn’t been easy.  It has been largely thankless and a complete mind fuck.  But I haven’t been alone as much as it seems.  People use so many words and get nowhere.  And then people learn how to communicate without ever opening their mouth.  People can say they love you all day long.  I’m always going to be out here showing you just how much it means to me regardless of who sees it and how they feel about it.  In that I err on the side of consistency.  If that makes me a loser I’m happy with the results.  <3 Tim