#or because she just got sexually harassed or otherwise misogynistically victimized

[adhdo5]

Really kind of wild to me how much of fandom perception of SQX is as anything but a trans woman. Like ????

[shesnotnice]

wait what allegations

here is the brief:

twitter hates miles (and loves to make fun of ppl from tumblr n instagram who r fans of him). whenever someone new asks “why do we all hate miles again?” ppl say that he harassed a journalist (which is true, he made a crude joke and then apologised for it), and that they heard he had tried to sleep with or did sleep with underage fans. then the people on twitter go “oh okay!“ and dont ask them to cite their sources.

here’s a google docs i made disproving it, maybe u guys will take more time to read it than anyone trying to argue separate points to me on twitter because they dont know how to do critical thinking and act as if i, a person who has been sexually assaulted, would want NOT to believe the victim. (i am @urlowbeams)

also i only did this because i KNOW alex and arctic monkeys are already kind of problematic. if the allegations were true which would mean that alex is best friends w a groomer, i would not be okay with being a fan of them. since ive come to the conclusion that they are NOT true, im fine with being a fan of them. i’m neutral towards miles, i dont really care about him further than his relationship with alex.

matt also cheated on his wife and divorced her right after she lost her parents, and alex probably cheated on taylor. (taylor was also a crazy all lives matters bitch and like cussed out some fans n stuff so like . idk but he’s still a dick for cheating on her). u can go to the drama tumblrs n find out i like @/around-clavius theyve got like. informational stuff n their navigation is really good lol i copied their mobile navigation pinned post thing.

because theyre not sexual predators, homophobes, racists, or misogynists, ive just accepted that the standards we hold for celebrities have to be different than the ones we have for our friends, otherwise there would be no media to consume, because no one who is famous is unproblematic.

[rahullkohli]

okay, so ive been reliving my own trauma to engage in conversations about rape all day, so i really wanna make this point over here as well, because a lot of people on tumblr really need to hear this.

yes, it's extremely important that "the good men" speak up and confront the rape culture in their communities; that they address it head-on and call out their buddies when they say rapey and misogynistic shit. that they are vocal, not only to their best friends, but to their families and in classes, at work, in the locker room etc. about that shit not being cool. this is important to make rapists afraid of being rapists.

but something that is also really important that i rarely see even mentioned, is to put focus on women's reactions to hearing other women come forward with their stories. i know that for a lot of women skepsism may root in the fear that this is things that are actually happening. and it could be your dad, or brother, or boyfriend, or best friend, or favorite teacher or someone else really close to you - but every time a woman comes forward and says that she has been raped, or otherwise sexually abused or harassed, there are an abundance of women who doesn't believe it. women who make excuses for the rapist, women who takes to attack the victim, "innocent until proven guilty" women, women who looks the other way.

that shit needs to stop!

the first rape i remember i was 12. my best friends said "nah kasper is such a nice guy". he was popular. i was new in town and dubbed "the weirdo". the second rape i was 13, and didn't tell anyone because he was almost 20 and my sister's ex boyfriend, and he was adored by everyone. the third time i was 16 and i thought he was my best friend. about six months later i told my boyfriend at the time, and as with every other thing regarding my mental health he didn't directly say the words, but he brushed it off as something i said for attention. later in the relationship he started raping and beating me. that lasted six months. i was 17, and ended up in the hospital for trying to kill myself when that relationship ended. i later got a girlfriend who also didn't believe me, despite her being a survivor of child sexual abuse.

i havent told anyone in my family about this. i actually haven't talked to anyone about this irl until this year. i am 31. the only people who are in my life now who knows are therapists. one of these also activated repressed memories of me having been sexually abused as a child and i haven't dared asking my parents or sisters if they know anything about it.

women need to support women. girls need to support girls. believe it when someone tells their story. this is not a treatment anyone wants to go through for attention and entertainment. rape victims are treated like shit - by the media, by authorities, by teachers, by family, by friends, by anyone who hears about. because people will twist and turn and question every word, comma, dot or breath these women - we - will say about this. it's not the rapists' lives who gets ruined. and if it is, then they did that to themselves! but someone - not just women, anyone - who has ever been sexually assaulted, harassed or raped, will be at war with their own mind and body, because of a choice someone else made for them. this is not a joke, this is not a matter of differentiating opinions. rape victims kill themselves all the time, and a lot of that comes from not having anyone in their corner.

if anyone tells you they were raped, don't you dare raise doubts. and if you ever hear anyone else have doubts about someone who was raped, you speak up and confront them. this trend needs to end now!

[imaginemycroftholmes]

Can you do a mycroft x reader were sherlock deduces that the reader is in an abusive relationship and then mycroft comforts her

You need to talk to her. -SH

Mycroft squints at the tiny screen of his cell phone, it’s light the only source of light in the darkness of the car’s cabin as he makes his long journey home from the airport.

Brother dear could you be a little less vague? -MH he types hoping that Sherlock will elaborate on who ‘she’ is but gets a very terse text back.

Playing stupid is not attractive brother mine. -SH

Rubbing his face tiredly Mycroft wonders if he should just call Sherlock to demand details but even he knows that Sherlock would sooner hangup than give up texting.

Please Sherlock its two in the morning could you just cut the crap and get on with it? -MH

There’s a pause and Mycroft wonders if Sherlock has decided to force him to figure it out at such an ungodly hour when a series of novel like texts hit his inbox.

Within the last three point six weeks you’ve been aboard ______’s toxic friend Amanda has decided to be a manipulative narcissistic pissant by selling her notion that she’s oppressing her very being just be existing. -SH

Going on about having “straight passing privilege” because ____ is bisexual and that if she was truly a feminist and wanted to ‘take down the patriarchy’ she would that privilege to help her voice be heard. -SH

Not that Amanda would do more than screech on about how no one in the community wants to shag her because of her body when anyone with a brain can see that its her horrible attitude and opinions on anyone not born with a vagina are what keeps her from having any true- [1/5]

relationships and that her God complex (God can only know where she gets that from, perhaps being bullied as a child or the constant victim mentally she found when she entered uni). Honestly, I cannot understand why ____ keeps her company. No friend from primary is worth all this drama no matter if their mothers were[2/5]

friends in uni. John, Molly, and I have tried to talk sense into ____ to drop Amanda like the 14 stone we all know she weighs just to save her sanity but but _____ refuses. She swears that true friends stick together and keeps allowing herself to be Amanda’s punching bag for the sake of their friendship and to be a “good” ally to the community[3/5]

which is stupid as the community already has a bias against her for the before mentioned “straight privilege” that she supposedly has along with her good health (I’ve already researched for more sane communities for her to meet up with that aren’t trying to push for communism and genocide of anyone that doesn’t bow down to preconceived “oppression” [4/5]

to which ____ again has declined to meet because of again, Amanda’s emotional hold on her. If I were you I would try to console and find a way to remove all ties between Amanda and ____ because if this continues it will lead to deterioration on both ______’s emotional and mental health. For her sake you must find her and do so post haste. -SH [5/5]  

Mycroft was no stranger to the unpleasantness that was Amanda. Like her state of dress she was loud and full of eccentricities for the sake of being seen and nothing more.

Odd colors, outdated fashions and very unusually (offensive) themed jewelry Amanda found almost everything to complain about when she was first introduced to him by ____ for a quick brunch.

“Ugh, couldn’t you at least date a man of color ____? This guy reeks of privilege!”

“I bet he’s never had a hard day in his life! All that rolling around in money while the rest of us rot in squalor with everything handed to him. Like seriously _____, why him? Must be nice having all that privilege huh Holmes?”

“He’s not even fit or handsome _____. All he has going for him is money and privilege. Like do you ever care about people? I bet you don’t you rich bastard. You only care about yourself and your money.”

“Ugh,the men here are raping me with their eyes! Like can’t guys go ten seconds without objectifying me? Disgusting pigs! Lesbians are not here for your viewing pleasure shitstains! Where’s the law when you need them?”

“This cafe doesn’t have my favorite breakfast vegan made exactly the way I like so I’m going back up there to demand that they remake it!” 

“That poor woman has three sons! All rapists and misogynists! If I were her I would of just aborted them!”

“Look at that woman, all her potential gone because she’s married and pregnant to a man. I bet that if she hadn’t she could be a corporate CEO of some finance industry by now or even Parliament!”

“I bet none of these imbeciles even  know how many animals they’re murdering by eating here.”

“I bet none of these fit women even know that they can choose to be lesbians. Poor things are brainwashed by the patriarchy to only want dick. ”

“Great the cops are here. Fucking pigs need to get burned.”

Mind you all of this was said out loud without shame.

Needless to say Mycroft felt no shame in having Anthea place a call to Amanda’s employer to ‘call her in early’ in order to remove the literal embodiment of complaints to leave their presence.

All and all Mycroft couldn’t understand why _____ would allow someone as toxic as Amanda in her life and did his best to use his connections to keep the sack of negative as far away as he could from her.

Whether it was paying off her employer to put Amanda on longer shifts, blocking IP addresses and her number from their phones it seems that while he was away his surveillance must have slipped.

I’ll have to order a staff meeting to see who, where and why it reached this point when I ordered them to keep me informed Mycroft thinks bleary as the house starts to come into view against the the slow creep of light from the horizon.

Another ping comes from his cellphone causing Mycroft to regard it once more.

I also forgot to add that Amanda may have been sexually harassing ____ as well to “prove” that she is indeed bisexual by shagging her. I believe Amanda hopes to either “convert” her into liking women exclusively, get a leg over or just get you to dump ____ by catching her cheating. Would need more data to say if it one or all of the above. -SH

Now this really got Mycroft’s blood boiling.

How dare she!

Mycroft knew that ____ had been sexually harassed before due to her sexuality in the past from various partners but from Amanda? Heads, specifically her head would roll. 

If he could Mycroft would he would banish Amanda to some God fore-shaken land at that instant but first he needed to find ____ and help her find out what she wanted to do.

As the car rolled up to the front door Mycroft makes haste to jump out before James could open the car door to find _____.

He doesn’t have to wander far as the house is still  shrouded in darkness and only one room from upstairs seems to be shedding any light.

Quietly creeping up the stairs Mycroft sets down his suitcase and carries on to the faint light stemming from the library. It was a common place for ____ to seek solace in as she found comfort among the dusty tomes and plush love seat. More often than not on a bad day Mycroft could find ____ there under the thick cover of a blanket hiding from the world with a fire roaring however this fire seemed to be fighting to its last breath to stay alive.

Squinting around the library Mycroft does not see ____ on the love seat nor her blanket nest that usually would surround her. 

“________,” Mycroft called carefully into the dimly light space. There’s some light snuffling but Mycroft takes a practiced pace around the room looking down every corner until he finds her huddled under the desk in darkness.

Squatting down to her level Mycroft offers a hand, “_____ darling, what are you doing down there? Why don’t you come up?”

She looks at him, her eyes still red from crying and face flushed. “Why? I’m worthless. A faker-scum. I don’t deserve kindness.”

“Now you’re certainly none of those things-”

“Am I?” ____ accuses the blanket thrown off as she creeps out of the small space, “I can’t even prove that I’m bisexual to my own friend and I’m just…some horrible person using up resources meant for really oppressed people and I’m…I’m just so horrible.”

There are new tears that fall from her face as Mycroft brings her into an embrace. _____ bodily shudders as she cries, body chill despite the fire and blanket.

Rubbing his hands on her shoulders and back trying to warm ____ up he lets her get a good cry in.

“I couldn’t even kiss her.”

Mycroft pauses his hands, “Well did you want to?”

“God no,” ____ denies, “Amanda isn’t even my type and I would never cheat on-”

“Then why would you have to kiss her to prove anything?”

“Because,” _____ stops to rub away the snot from her nose, “because Amanda says I need to prove it otherwise I’m just saying I am to be special. And I don’t want to be seen as fake the community already hates me enough as it is for being with you.”

Mycroft pulls ___ away to so she can look at him eye to eye. “_____ you know that I only have the greatest respect for you-”

She nods quickly feeling very vulnerable and exposed even to her boyfriend of a year and a half.

“But I feel that it must be said that if Amanda is going to treat you like this that you need to end your friendship with her because what you have with her is unhealthy and will emotionally unhinge you.”

How wide _____’s eyes get at the notion that Mycroft is almost certain that she could be drunk when she protests,“But she’s my friend!”

“Do friends force you at gunpoint to kiss them to “prove” anything? Do they sexually harass you and make you feel like shit because if they do I would dare say that Molly is doing a poor job of being your friend.”

Tired and embarrassed ____ sets her head on Mycroft’s shoulder. “You just don’t understand,” she whispers, “ Amanda’s been my friend since forever…I can’t just abandon her now especially since she’s been dumped again.”

Running a hand through _____’s hair Mycroft consoles her, “You can if she continues to treat you like you owe her anything _____. You are not her punching bag and owe her nothing about your sexuality or time. You do not deserve this kind of treatment and as someone I love I will not stand for this to continue however I need you to promise me not to allow her to manipulate you like this.”

“I know…I know but its so hard.”

“Just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it,” Mycroft promises, “If you want me to send her away I shall, if you want charges placed I can do that too.”

She sniffles, “It all just seems a bit extreme.”

“Considering you were crying underneath the desk in the library at two in the morning I would say that its fitting,” Mycroft retorts gently as the last of ____’s shakes were subsiding.

“I just want her to stop…I know I’m not a bad person…I just don’t want to sleep with her.”

“And stop she shall. You owe it to no one to prove anything and no one should mistreat you that way even under the guise of friendship. No friendship is worth that.”

____ clings tighter to Mycroft as the morning light starts to get a bit brighter making the library a little less dreary. Seeing how truly drained ____ was Mycroft asks, “Now would you like me to make some breakfast or order some in.”

“Mhhm.”

“Alright we’ll order in,” Mycroft says softly, “but while I order can we move to the love seat?”

“Mmh.”

“Lovely.”

Sitting on the love seat _____ rests easy on his front as they await breakfast from her favorite place.

 “That woman will not hurt you again or anyone like her,” he promises as ____ tries to shut her eyes. He presses a kiss to her brow as ____’s heartbeat starts to even out, “Of this I swear.”

[violetsystems]

#personal

When people wonder how long I’ve spent being ignored down here like everybody else it’s nothing compared to how long I’ve held the same job.  Truly one of the things I’ve been most successful with in proving consistency has been my work ethic.  It helps that it returns financial compensation and benefits not that any of that impresses anyone these days.  I say that work is work a lot and leave it at that.  It is important to note I work in an extremely liberal environment.  I don’t mind being inclusive in fact I think it’s more rewarding in the long run.  You expect that respecting people’s right to be will create an atmosphere that encourages you to do the same.  This is the Utopian vision of liberal America that always has it’s heart in the right place but fumbles upon execution.  Mainly because accepting people in America seems to be largely an egocentric experience.  We the people.  Wait who are we all again really?  It’s true I don’t really feel much in line with extreme politics on either side these days.  I spent years soul searching after making dance music on how to do something more important.  I volunteered for a Korean American Festival for three years back in 2011 through 2013.  That imploded in such a Tarantino-esque way like everything else in my life.  People come together and power struggles emerge out of the vacuum.   Around 2013 I worked with a collective of mostly women from my school in a project called Collective Cleaners.  It was a project about cleaning and the value of human labor.  I learned how to weave rags from old bedsheets.  We did a year long show at Jane Addams Hull House at UIC.  I could go on and on right.   But it seems like I’m telling a joke about my life with no actual punchline.  Like I’m mockumentary in the flesh.  Here I am still out here ambiguous proving myself to some phantom army.  And here I am still not good enough for America staring it in the face.  After all this my life is still a fucking joke to people in the worst and most hurtful way.  It becomes exhausting to remind people you have acted on solutions to these modern problems.  Nobody cares about me and what I do about it year after year.  Trust me I get that part by now.  That’s what it seemed like for awhile.  And then I had the painful realization that the work never stops.  And it seems like I’m all alone doing all the work.  To be truthful a lot of the work and expectations follow me around after I leave my day job.  On my lunch break I had to break up a fight between a white christian woman and a fake monk on Michigan before it happened.  The woman came running down the street making a sign of the cross with her fingers.  I stepped in front of her and calmly asked her what the fuck she was doing.  She ran away in opposite direction.  Where’s my comic book Marvel?  

For all the things I’ve done I’m still just as mistrusted and questionable in the eyes of the social elite.  I’m never quite good enough.  Never quite valid enough to prove I’m just as just viable as a closet misogynist with a six figure salary.  I’ve been questionable for years only to realize that nobody has any answers for me on how to be otherwise without being me.  Other than me.  And so in the end only I really know how successful this has all been.  And only I know when it’s appropriate to stay the course or give up entirely.  I haven’t given up.  That’s self confidence talking.  And sometimes you have to lead yourself forward towards some sort of progress through the hazy chaos.  I spent an entire year answering political calls and surveys out of guilt.  Mostly due to what I would hear from my peers about the intrinsic value of being politically aware and woke in the arts.  When it comes to American politics I do participate at bare minimum in voting.  One robocall asked my political leanings.  I said left.  “So I’ll mark you down as progressive.”  I didn’t know how I felt about it at the time.  Progressive in Illinois is a strange beast.  We elected a billionaire for Governor and a lawyer for Mayor.  At surface level that sounds horrible and I guess the more you dig into Chicago and Illinois politics you’d find the same shit.  You need money in America to have a say in politics regardless of how many free speech arguments you win on the Internet.  You can of course vote and it would be remiss to say I haven’t seen progress in that.  As of January we have recreational Marijuana and abortion legal across the state.  I have seen the drug war up close and personal.  It sounds like I’m a vice news reporter.  I’ve probably nudged up against them too in the field but they pretend I don’t exist.  Maybe that’s a parable of the drug war and the media industrial complex.  Maybe shit was lame.  All I know is through a series of miracles in the democratic process smoking weed in Chicago isn’t as dangerous to your personal freedom as it used to be.  Making friends in public still is.  Welcome to snitchville.  Whereas New York is up close but never personal Chicago is your best friend and your arch enemy at the same time.  Progressive politics signifies that things move on, evolve and change.  I’ve read enough news feeds to understand the Governor made whatever possible by crossing the aisles.  Which can be read as compromise.  That’s government.  I’m a private citizen in America.  Or so one would think.  There’s endless commentary about how people like me don’t do enough.  Americans love to talk all day about privacy and talk can be cheap.  Facing the realities of a growing surveillance state that likes to masquerade as the land of the free is troubling.  So can facing the reality your favorite punk rock festival is using public space for profit in under served neighborhoods.  I’m more concerned about white dad rock masquerading as punk.  But insecure men would rather lash out at the me too movement than rock the boat.  You pick your battles right?  Generally when I’ve been the one to stand up to things it’s been about not moving backwards in terms of progressive beliefs.  I believe in a woman’s right to choose.  I got targeted on the street all summer because of it by Christians who thought it was ok to bring it to my face.  I didn’t get a medal and I sure as fuck didn’t really get a pat on the back.  I still have my secret support systems but I don’t have the luxury any more of hiding from who I am and what I believe.  I often stand by myself and what I believe and suffer for it.  Or worse it gets hijacked, misunderstood, and misrepresented by someone’s interpretation of what I’m trying to say.  And I sit here every Saturday morning wondering if I’ve made any progress in being happy at all.  

After failing so much in everything you get a little tired of falling for the same old tricks.  The personal is the most political you can be and I have years of resistance to draw from.  Nobody ever wants me to be me even after all the passionate posts on the internet about what I believe.  It goes nowhere.  There are people who do understand and people I trust.  But the reality in America is that is few and far between in public space.  The propaganda that we’re all free is largely based on some huge stipulations.  Money is one of them.  I work for a non profit.  You can do the math.  It feels like everything that the Left wanted me to be based on critique is largely ignored unless I have my wallet out.  And even then I’ve been happier being less liberal with my money in places where it isn’t respected.  I guess I could run away to Hong Kong and start over.  The irony of that is pretty funny right now.  I haven’t talked to that side of the family in a while since I’ve been off Facebook.  I haven’t left the country since I came back from China, Korea and Japan by myself since the first summit between Moon Jae-in and the other guy.  I don’t know that I feel very safe leaving the country.  I don’t feel very safe leaving my house these days.  So do I shrivel up and waste away hoping somebody will save me.  What have I done to deserve all this I’m not sure.  I’ve spent over three years clocking in hundreds of miles running around desolate and abandoned areas of Chicago.  What am I really afraid of at this point?  Dying alone and forgotten?  I feel dead inside already every day.  I have no hope any of this will change no matter how much we sit and argue about it.  Nobody does anything.  Nobody is out there with me other than the people close to my heart.  Nobody invites me to a special club other than me at my kitchen table on a Saturday morning.  For all the good I’ve done I’m still the first person to scapegoat as ‘problematic’ after all these years.  And I can’t even profit off it on the internet?  That’s a joke.  If listening to all these criticisms and taking them to heart got me where I am why do we still pay so much attention to Dave Chapelle’s career and for profit opinion?  I’m invisible.  Just like all the victims out there who are invalidated when somebody says they’re over reacting to sexual abuse and harassment.  I think America has enough problems that nobody wants to confront without us having an opinion about any other country’s sovereign dirty laundry.  And this is where I think we can all learn a little something about progress.  I got to where I am by believing in myself and resisting people’s judgements of who I am.  I got there by challenging my own perspective and growing into my own by putting my ideas into practice.  It hasn’t been easy.  It has been largely thankless and a complete mind fuck.  But I haven’t been alone as much as it seems.  People use so many words and get nowhere.  And then people learn how to communicate without ever opening their mouth.  People can say they love you all day long.  I’m always going to be out here showing you just how much it means to me regardless of who sees it and how they feel about it.  In that I err on the side of consistency.  If that makes me a loser I’m happy with the results.  <3 Tim

[crockerdance89-blog]

We Won't Get Fooled Again: Staying Alert in the Post-Weinstein Era

I've watched Louis C.K. since I was in high school. He's always come across to me as an amiable guy with an edge: the family man on Lucky Louie, the loveable oaf on Louie, the relatable misanthrope in his stand-up specials. I liked his self-effacing humor. He was the kind of guy who subtly boasted the privilege that made me want to be a guy: the wiggle room to “let yourself go” a little without being looked at differently than your fit peers, the assurance that people will laugh and nod at your disgusting habits.

This sort of male privilege envy also found my penchant for male-led indie and emo bands - the kind that cursed at and pined after women in the same breath. My internalized misogyny masked itself as a love for angst-driven music and black comedy, but I was too invested to realize it. Watching them was like inhabiting a different, easier body.

Hearing the sexual assault allegations against some of my former idols stirred a strange reaction. Stories outing various public figures were released by the hour after over 80 women came forward with claims against Harvey Weinstein, citing instances of rape, assault, and harassment. The litany of horrors about my favorite comic, my favorite bands, and Weinstein left me distraught - over the victims they made to feel powerless and the entertainment-hungry system (myself included) that enabled them. How had I overlooked this? But also, did this mean there wouldn't be another season of Louie? A wave of disgust quickly washed away that selfish concern. But, as ashamed as I was of that thought, it didn't surprise me, and I'm sure I wasn't alone in it.

Entertainment is a certain kind of brainwashing. It placates and conditions us to artificial realities and standards - misguided morals don't seem to carry weight when viewed through a television screen. However, when we accept harmful content as reality and no longer contain it within entertainment, we give power to those ideas and their purveyors. In a world that seems to grow darker by the day, there's little room for entertainment without evaluation.

Looking back, I can recall warning signs. There's one scene in Louie that sticks out to me the most. He comes home to Pamela Adlon, who's asleep on his couch. Laying with her back to Louie, she tells him not to “jerk off.” This remark is almost haunting now. Adlon is friends with C.K. in real life and a writer on Louie, so I can't help but wonder if she knew something and, in keeping with the show's semi-raunchy fashion, treated it like a joke. In the episode, Louie holds Pamela down and tries to kiss her. When she begrudgingly accepts the kiss and leaves, he throws a celebratory fist pump. It's a distressing scene, made even worse by the brazen attitude it was met with, passed off as Louis C.K.'s signature dark humor.

But blaring hints to C.K.'s misconduct go farther back and beyond the screen. In 2012, Gawker came out with an article titled “Which Beloved Comedian Likes to Force Female Comics to Watch Him Jerk Off?” Spoiler: it's Louis C.K. Three years later, Gawker further substantiated the piece with “Louis C.K. Will Call You Up to Talk About His Alleged Sexual Misconduct”, sharing the story of a fan who called out C.K. via e-mail and actually got a response. He wanted to know what the fan had heard and left the conversation open-ended. That same year, Death and Taxes posted the article “Did Jen Kirkman out Louis C.K.'s gross behavior on her podcast last month?”. Somehow, all of this flew under my radar.

Hints and rumors decrying my favorite band circulated with as much prevalence, but were buried further beneath the surface. Brand New's frontman, Jesse Lacey, had always been understood as a scumbag. He oozed a devil-may-care attitude that people didn't really question. Like a good portion of the male-dominated punk/emo scene, Brand New's work had a misogynistic air flowing through it. But recent allegations against Lacey revealed him as more than an obnoxious “bad boy”; chilling confessions from victims exposed him as a criminal, one who had physically harassed minors and solicited them for explicit photos.

In her essay that followed these allegations, “Unraveling the Sexism of Emo's Third Wave”, Jenn Pelly soberly points out that “…there is a correlation between misogynist art, the young people who make it, and the younger people who consume it. That is not a radical idea, and it strikes me now as dubious that any longtime Brand New fan would be completely shocked by these allegations.” She's right - my understanding of Lacey after reading the vivid accusations reveals itself as a darkened and intensified version of my prior, shrouded assumptions. I used to justify Lacey's severe demeanor and destructive words as brooding, raw emotion, but his lyrics read more clearly now: instances of manipulation framed as desperate desire.

Pelly refers to the song “Me vs. Madonna vs. Elvis” from their breakout album, Deja Entendu, as “the song that appears when you Google 'Brand New date rape song.'” The chorus goes, “I will lie awake/ Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you/ Let you fall for every empty word I say,” which isn't even the worst of it. “My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent … A sober, straight face gets you out of your clothes.” I remember screaming this song as if it were an anthem when I would see them in concert, elbowing my way to the front of a male-dominated crowd that assumed my inferiority (the fact that we were all singing about it probably didn't help my case). The layers that Pelly referred to (“misogynist art, the young people who make it, and the younger people who consume it”) were laid out in front of me - my oblivion was in good company. It was like we were all conned into some sort of emo pyramid scheme, and Jesse Lacey was the sleazy CEO. Still, my devotion to the band continued through my adolescence and into my young adult life.

Lacey was dethroned in my mind - from an emo icon to a sick man - the minute I heard what he had done. But the fact that years of rumors, questionable lyrics, and blatant headlines were met with silence suggests that Lacey and Louis C.K. (and most notably, Harvey Weinstein) were somehow seen as “normal” men. Understanding them as typical, flawed men in light of their crimes and transgressions indicate a disturbing string of correlations- that “normal” people are capable of such detriment and that this harmful disregard for women and our idolization of men in power is so ingrained in society that instead of being surprised by their actions, we deduced their “normalcy.”

I think we've come to accept a brand of highbrow misogyny, purely because it's what we've been given for so long. A system of men in power and women catering to their status exists around the entertainment industry and within the entertainment itself. And this male-first model is just as pervasive in regular life. The sexual harassment stories we've recently become familiar with are those involving moguls and public figures, but there are countless stories of sexual abuse that don't make the news. Every female-identifying friend I know has encountered some degree of sexual harassment, and most of them haven't felt comfortable enough to speak out publicly.

I feel that we are, however, on the cusp of progress - those who have been afraid to out their abusers, famous or otherwise, are being validated. The #MeToo movement has encouraged conversations about sexual assault among friends and family, or at least the ones you connect with on social media. Further championing this endeavor are the women who are finally revealing the horrible secrets of systemic sexual misconduct on Capitol Hill and in the current White House. That said, there are still people who deny and belittle victims, and there are those who don't fully grasp the severity and ubiquity of the issue. Alongside them are the fans who shrug off the misogyny peddled by their favorite bands and stars. This is where I stood for years, in a state of naïve, indulgent fandom.

Having watched the power dynamics of punk and pop culture unfold, it's clear that we need to drastically shift what we accept as entertainment and where we place our attention. In order to move forward, we must deal with the underlying causes. The outpouring of stories suggests that male privilege - whether in the sphere of entertainment, politics, or everyday life - is the foundation of sexual misconduct. Veteran journalist Kim Masters had spent years trying to out Weinstein, but the producer's cultural cachet threatened anyone who might take him on; victims were afraid to speak out, journalists lacked concrete evidence, and members of Weinstein's camp worked to protect him at any cost.

In a piece for The Hollywood Reporter, Masters asserts, “Until women are properly represented in front of and behind the cameras and in executive offices - and the statistics are grim - Hollywood won't truly cure itself of this particular sickness.” On the receiving end of the Hollywood machine, it's just as necessary for fans like me to recognize our role in facilitating its corruption. I won't be revisiting my Brand New phase, nor will I be streaming Louie reruns. I won't need to; these men will remain in the back of my head, urging me to notice the signs and listen to whispers that surround figures in power. I will instead look for artists that respect me and continue to use my writing to analyze the social impacts of music and entertainment. Progress can't exist inside a vacuum; we must find ways to poke holes and let the light in.