#and taking apart the ways that 'if you give a big solo to thor at the climax that indicates the climax is about thor and it's really not'

[justthatspiffy]

i can't stop writing essays about my friend's shitty plays!!

[jadedxrealityw]

-Cold- Loki Laufeyson x Female Reader

    ☼-☪-☼

   Kody: First Loki imagine, let’s do this. DISCLAIMER. MOST OF THE DIALOGUE FROM THE CANONICAL CHARACTERS IS TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM THE MOVIE TO MAKE IT MORE REALISTIC. YOU CAN TELL WHICH PARTS I WROTE AND DIDN’T WRITE. OKAY? okayyyy

   Movie/Show: Thor: Ragnarok- but you somehow know strange. Don’t question me lmao. 

   Summary: while staying with Dr. Strange for a bit, you end up meeting your old friend again, Thor. What you don’t expect is too meet with his adopted brother Loki. Who turns out to be your perfect match (Vague for reasons)

   Possible Triggers / Warnings: Very long story, Slowburn, Steven and Tony being a dad, cursing, Val being kinda great

    ☼-☪-☼

   sometimes being stuck in the avengers base was.....stressful. with Vision being like a newborn baby around everything, you constantly had to help him understand certain things. Like a microwave or a stove since he wanted to learn how to cook for Wanda. Kinda cute actually. 

   you could hear Natasha cry at night about Bruce vanishing during the battle against Ultron. You tried to comfort hr once or twice, but she was adamant about handling it on her own. You wish you could have helped more. It’s not like you could hug her without layers of clothing covering almost every inch of your skin.

   oh yeah, the whole reason you were even there is because Tony Stark had found you with Wanda and Pietro. You were slightly different from them, no telekinesis, telepathy, or enhanced agility and reflexes. Your mercular DNA was ripped apart then put back together with enhancements, unique ones. 

   your body was now able to freeze anything with just a touch and manipulate it, but with all powers. There were side effects. You couldn’t touch anyone without giving them frostbite. Your powers were too much for you too handle so your body was constantly below freezing. 

   it was terrible. You had lived so long without the feeling of another's skin on yours. You could never, hug, hold someone's hand, kiss, do....that. You were condemned to a life of touch starvation. It sucked, but you still kept a smile on your face. 

   during a errand run in new york you had met Steven Strange. You had recognized him from his work as a doctor and gave him your condolences for his accident. He seemed to take some sort of interest in you, which you later figured out that he knew you had your ‘enhancements’ from the news. 

   he explained to you that with his help he may be able to train you to keep your body temperature at a normal human one. You were a bit off put by his offer and he gave you a simple address in case you changed your mind and with that. You left. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   a month later

   “Tony it’s just for a little while-”

   “No! your running off with some rando voodoo doctor who could kill you and steal your kidneys!”

   your face twinges a bit in confusion. You had told everyone that you’d be leaving for awhile and they all wished you luck on your solo adventure. You had also decided to wait till the actual day you were leaving to tell Tony. He was a tad overprotective of you when it came to strangers. 

  “He’s not going to steal my kidneys- Tony my car is waiting i have to go” you say as you pick up the bag you had dropped on the floor as the whole ordeal again. “Didn’t know you had such little trust in me” he exhales deeply, pressing a finger to his temple in visible frustration. 

   “I do trust you. I don’t trust the world outside of these walls” Tony admits. you will confess, you liked his weird fatherly side. “Well- the world as you call it can freeze if they touch me. You have to let me do things on my own Tony” you give him a half smile. 

   Tony expression turns into his thinking one, which is either a good or a very bad thing. He digs into his pocket and pulls out what looks like a jewelry box “Are you trying to bribe me with diamond earrings?” you ask, slightly unimpressed with him. 

   he rolls his eyes and lifts the lid. You see a silver necklace with a star pendant. You could faintly see a small blue crystal in the middle. It reminded you of his reactor, Clever. It was still technically a bribe, but it was indeed a beautiful necklace.

   “No. I made this about a month ago and could never think of the right time. It’s a necklace with a beacon. If you need help press the blue button under the silver lid and i’ll come get and save you. Like always” Tony finishes his sentence off with a smirk, which makes you chuckle. 

   you reach and grab the box with your gloved hand “Thank you, Tony” you say and pull the necklace out the box. You undo the clasp and wrap it around your neck, clasping it back. Tony gives you his proud dad smile and pats your shoulder “If this witch man is able to help you. I get to be your first hug”

   you break out into laughter, nodding “Of course” you say and he chuckles along with you. You hear a honk from outside “I’m coming. Chill out Happy!” you shout. Tony gulps and waves you off “Go ahead, i’m not keeping you any longer.” he says. 

   smiling, you sling the bag over your shoulder and nod at him “I’ll see you soon Tony” you say and turn around, heading out the door and towards the car waiting outside. Happy rolled down the window, same unhappy expression on his face “what took you so long!”

   rolling your eyes, you open the passenger door and throw your bag on the car floor before hoping in. “You know Tony, stubborn as ever” you reply, closing the door. Happy replies with a small hum before starting up the car. You pull out the card with the address and hand it to Happy.

   Tony watched you walk out, his face dropping a bit “Come back home kiddo”

    ☼-☪-☼

   two weeks later

   in your short time with Strange he showed you the most incredible things that you never knew. It also hurt your brain to think about how big the multiverse really was, but Strange was able to explain it in simple terms. He had also given you a meditation regiment that you followed everyday.

   it was supposed to help you calm your mind enough that you could force your body to warm up. It hasn’t changed anything so far, but Strange said it was normal. While reading a novel across from Strange who was- looking out a window. “Great” he grumbles under his breath.

   you lower the book, sliding the juice bar stamp card you used as a bookmark between the pages. “Is something wrong?” you ask, tilting your head. Strange’s eyebrows furrow “Someone who isn’t supposed to be here. Is here. Along with his slightly intelligent brother”

   what- “I don’t follow?” you say as he makes his way downstairs. You quickly jump out the chair and go to follow him. In a quick movement his cloak unclipped from his body and stopped in front of you, blocking your movements “Um Strange?” you call out.

   he stops at the bottom of the stairs and turns his head to look at you “You stay here. If there is a fight it could be dangerous” he spoke. “I can help fight with my ability-” he holds up his hand, stopping you from talking. It reminded you of Tony a little bit. 

   “That is the exact reason you need to stay. Using your powers could throw off what you have worked for so far” he spoke. Sighing deeply, you nod “Okay, i’ll stay. I promise” you say to reassure him. Strange nods and his cloak returns to him, clipping back on. 

   “Thank you” he says and lifts his arms up, he starts performing what you assume is a spell while mumbling under his breath. It lasted a couple seconds before he walked off to the lower floor. You had to ask him how he did certain spells like that portal one, just to mess with Steve. 

   you heard your stomach grumble and sighed “Strange needs to invest in a fucking microwave. I want a hot pocket so bad” 

     ☼-☪-☼

   you guilt tripped wong into magic-ing a microwave in the sanctum. Poor dude, but hey- hot pocket. You also changed out of your pjs because wong said you were ‘lazy’ what a tool. You did anyway and ended up wearing a long sleeve black turtleneck, matching gloves with heather grey and white plaid pants. 

   As you took your last bite you heard talking, but not just Stranges voice, a deeper one. Sounded somewhat familiar, but you couldn’t quite recognize it fully. It came from downstairs. You look at the steps and bit your bottom lip, thinking. Strange told you to stay, but-

   screw it

   slowly you step down, making sure it didn’t creak too loud and alarm Strange to your presence. Once you made it all the way down the voices stopped. What the hell? Oh wait they were coming from the first floor now. Was Strange just teleporting throughout sanctum.

   yes

   the talking got louder and you peaked around the corner. First you spotted Strange, twisting a strange of hair in his hands? He ended up throwing it in the air and it created a portal. Okay then. Then when you looked beside him, you saw- no, it can’t be.

   “Thor?!”

   you ran down the stairs, tripping over your feet a bit. The god turned around and smiled upon seeing you “Lady Y/n! It has been quite some time. You have grown indeed!” he says. You nod, almost reaching out to hug him, but stopped. Thor noticed and gave you a sad smile.

   “I thought i told you to stay upstairs?” Strange spoke. You chuckle nervously and gesture to Thor “I haven’t seen him in a long time. I’m sorry” you say. Strange looks like he wants to stay mad at you but exhales deeply “Your forgiven, under the circumstances”

   you smile brightly. Strange was a pretty cool guy. You turn away from him and back at Thor “So, what’s going on? Why are you back on earth? What happened to figuring out your vision and going back to asgard?” you ask a multitude of questions. 

   Thor shakes his head “My witch of a brother has hidden my father on earth and i need to get him back. This wizard has offered me help in return that i take Loki back to asgard where he belongs.” Thor explains. You nod slowly, you had never met the god of mischief himself, only heard stories.

   “Loki is here?” you ask and gaze around the room. 

   you heard Strange gasp before lifting his arms “Oh yeah right” he swirls his hands as a portal forms on the ceiling. A distant scream was heard before a man with long black hair and a matching suit popped out and crashed onto the floor, Loki. 

   Loki slowly lifts his head, whipping his hair out of his face and propping himself up on his elbows “I have been falling, for thirty minutes!” he shouts. Damn- thirty minutes? “That’s cold Strange and that’s a lot coming from me” you say, making Thor snicker a bit. 

   “You can handle it from here?” Strange nods towards Thor who does the same, reaching over to shake his hand. “Thank you very much for your help” Loki lifts himself off the floor and turns to look a Strange, glaring daggers at him. “Handle me?” he snaps, venom lacing his tone.

   Oh! Look actual daggers. Oh wait- Loki came towards Strange and in an instant your eyes turned a bright white, no pupils and your skin turned an icy white, with the nose and tips of your ears and fingers a light blue. You stepped in front of strange as cold fog emitted from your hands. 

   you were breathing heavily which came out as fog as well. Thor had seen you like this before so this was pretty normal for him.  Strange stared at you for a moment, just blinking. He had seen this before- “Don’t touch the wizard” you breathed out. 

   Loki’s angered face turned into a smug look “And who do you think you are to challenge me, mortal?” he questions, drawing closer towards you. Before any harm could be done to either of you, Thor stepped between, looking at his brother “Brother, you will not harm Lady Y/n. She is a friend”

   aw how sweet. Loki takes another look at you before his daggers retreat “Fine” he grumbles. Your skin turns back to its normal S/c and your pupils return “Thanks Thor” you say and he nods at you. Strange coughed before gesturing to the portal. 

   Thor exhales before smiling lightly “Right. Thank you so much for your help again and it was lovely to see you Lady Y/n” he spoke. You smile “Just Y/n is fine. I hope you find what your looking for” you spoke. You couldn’t imagine what you’d do if Tony went missing. Thor must have been going crazy.

   “You’ll have to tell me all about it once you get back Y/n” Strange spoke suddenly, making you turn your head to face him once again with a confused expression. “What are you talking about?” you ask. Thor steps beside you while Loki stood s a few feet behind both of you.

   “Oh you’ll be going along with them” Strange spoke casually as he began to make his way up the stairs. What the hell? “Um- why?! What about my regiment?” you question. Strange stops at the top of the stairs and faces the three of you, hands behind his back. 

   he studies your face, then Thor’s, then Loki. “Trust me” is all he says before disappearing into a portal of his own. You blinked mindlessly for a couple seconds “Uh-” “Lady Y/n- i mean just Y/n. I suppose you’ll be accompanying me and my brother. Once we return to asgard, will send you home.”

   you looked at Thor, thinking. Should you go? You had never been to another planet before, so you were completely unaware of what was too possibly happen. Even if you were afraid of the unknown, you could not pass up this opportunity “Let’s go”

   Thor pats your clothes back and smiles “Alright, into the mystic portal we go!” he cheers, making you chuckle. “Not only am i stuck with my oaf of a brother, but also some mortal quim” Loki snarls from behind you. Oh isn’t he a breath of fresh air “Yeah, cry about it antlers”

   yikes, you’ve been around tony too much. 

   Loki’s fist clench before all three of you walk through the portal.

   you all ended up in a grassy field. It was beautiful. The smell of the sea nearby filled your nose, causing a calm feeling to course through you. “I don’t see father” Thor spoke, looking around. You gaze about as well and spot a man at the edge of the field. 

   placing a glove hand on Thor, you tap him. The god looks at you as you point at Odin. Thor sighs deeply “Let’s go Loki” he spoke and waved for this brother to follow. You stayed put as Loki passed you, his arm grazing yours for a moment. There is like so much field to walk around you, but okay-

   You turn around and began to walk in the other direction, giving them some space. It wasn’t your business to put yourself into their family drama. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   You walk mindlessly for a couple minutes, making sure to stay relatively close to the brothers and his father. You stop and look at them for a moment just as Odin had turned to a fine gold powder/dust and blew away into the sky. Oh no- Odin, he’s dead. 

   just before you could even think another thought the sky began to crack in thunder. From the distance you were at you could Thor’s fingers spark up as he turned towards Loki. Oh god he’s going to kill him. Your previous thoughts of not getting involved were thrown out as you began to run towards them.

   you couldn’t let Thor hurt his brother, he would surely regret it later. A green energy ball formed couple feet in front of you, stopping you from running towards the brothers. You had stopped your feet so harshly it caused you to fall back onto your butt.

   the green energy grew bigger as the brother began to draw close to it. A flash of thunder changed Thor’s clothes into his original asgardian armor and Loki used to Magic to change his to a green leather outfit. Seemed very Loki-ish. The energy stopped forming and you were sure that Thor or Loki couldn’t see you. 

   just as fast as the green energy appeared, it vanished to reveal the back of a women, she had long black hair and a matching outfit. Who was this? That didn’t matter right now considering Thor look liked he was ready to fight which means that you had to be. 

   “So he’s gone?” the woman spoke, referring to Odin you presumed. She gazes around for a moment before looking back at the boys “Such a shame, i would have liked to have seen that” she said. Oh- well that’s just rude. “You must be Hela” Thor spoke. So that was her name.

   “I’m Thor, son of odin” he continued. He just had to introduce himself right now? How formal of him. You slowly began to stand up. This woman had not noticed you, which means you had the upper hand. “Really?” she asked, a amused tone present within her voice.

   “You don’t look like him” Hela adds. you thought Thor looked like Odin- just a tad. Why are you thinking about this right now. “Perhaps we can come to an arrangement?” Loki spoke. Well at least Thor isn’t trying to kill Loki right now. Now that you think about it Hela and Loki kind of looked alike. 

   Hela lifts her arm a bit to pint at Loki, before dropping it to her side a second later “You sound like him” she says before taking a step closer “Kneel” she commands. “Beg your pardon?” Loki leans forward as if he had not heard what he had just said. Uh oh. 

   Hela’s arm twist, a long blade forming in her hand. “Kneel...before your queen” she repeats once more. Queen?!. You take a deep breath, pupils disappearing, skin turning white and blue, and fog emitting from your hands. Let’s do this. Thor takes a step forward, gazing at you for only a second “I don’t think so”

   Loki took a glance at Thor. You both knew what the god of thunder was about to do. Thor lifts his arm and throws his hammer at Hela, but- she caught it. She caught Thor’s hammer?! Oh shit. Both Loki and Thor’s face turn into a grim and confused one. 

   “It’s..not possible” Thor spoke in disbelief. “Darling, you have no idea what’s possible” Hela spoke before squeezing her hand around Mjollnir. She was crushing the hammer. In a split second a burst of electricity and wind was sent everywhere. 

   you lift your arm and cover your face to protect your eyes. Once it died down you move your arm and saw Thor’s hammer in pieces on the grass. What was she? Who was she? Hela lifted her arms to her head and slid them back along the base of her skull, forming a large spiked crown. 

   she repeated her hand movements from earlier except with both her arms. Two blades in each hand. You had to move now. You close your palms together and pull them apart, an ice spear forming in between. You ran up to her and jumped in the air to get a higher advantage. 

   “Y/n, no!” Thor shouts as he runs up to Hela as well. Loki looks up in the sky and shouts “Bring us back!” Hela turns around quickly and spots you running towards her. Just as you were about to land on her, she grabs your neck. “Now who are you?” she asked. but you didn’t answer. 

   instead you rip a glove off one of your hands and press it to her face. Hela screams in agony and throws you towards Thor. You landed on him with hard thud. That’s going to hurt in the morning. Suddenly a portal formed around all three of you and sent you into the sky. It was the same one Thor usually left on. 

   Your body felt weird all over like you were about to vomit or pass out- maybe both. You looked up and saw Thor a few feet up above you and you assumed Loki was under you. Thor looks down at you, then Loki “Loki!” he shouts and the black haired god looks under him, you so as well. 

   Hela was just behind you all “She wasn’t even in the portals range!” you shout, earning now answer from either brothers. Lok reaches into his sleeve and pulls out a small blade. He lifts his arm and chucks it at her, but she dodges it easily and sends it flying back towards Loki.

   Loki had another blade in hand and used that one to dodge the other hela threw at him, but it sent him flying out the portal “Y/n! follow loki! I’ll find you both. I promise!” Thor shouts and without a second thought you use your spear to stab into the portal and push yourself out. 

   sometimes you wished you thought about things first. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   your head was throbbing and aching in the worst way possible, like you had crashed into a wall. Your eyes slowly open and you see a regular sky with purple portals spread throughout it- okay maybe not so normal. “Hands off of me you mewling quim!” you know that complaining tone from anywhere. 

   you push yourself off the ground, using some random junk metal to lean on. Looking around you would think you were in some junk yard. No time to wonder where you were because you had a god to help. You push things out your way before you spot what looked like scavengers, mostly wearing masks.

   they were holding onto Loki’s arms. Couldn’t he just use his magic? Guess not. Anyway, you jump down from the ledge your on, catching most of their attention “We just got on this planet and your already pissing the natives off?” you question Loki.

   he narrows his blue eyes at you as he struggles against the people holding his arms “Get on with it!” he shouts at you. No please? Whatever. You activate your powers, slowly pulling the other glove off of your hand “Hand over the god will you?” 

   “You’ll have to get through all of us!” one man shouts. They hold up their weapons at you making you sigh “Alright, have it your way” you shrug, flicking your hand, a dark blue blade with a silver handle forming in the palm of your hand. 

   the scavengers ran towards you. One swung a club at you, but you caught his arm in your hand. The man screams in agony as his whole arm turns black with frostbite. You take that opportunity to slice his now very crunchy arm off. Then it’s kind of a rinse and repeat for the rest of them until one is left. 

   The man lets go of Loki and begins to run away. Good choice. Loki drops to the ground, trying to catch his breath “Why did you follow me?” Loki asked suddenly. You look down at him and shrug “Thor asked me to in the portal. He said he’d come find us” you explain.

    you pull out the extra pair of gloves from your back pocket and slipped them on. They were a plain black leather pair. Once they were on, you hold out your hand for him to take. Loki takes one look at your hand and scoffs before standing up himself. Rude. 

   “If my brother went off to fight Hela alone. He’s most likely dead already” Loki says curtly as he dusts off his outfit. Your eyes widen a bit. Thor wasn’t dead, he couldn’t be. “Who is she anyway?” you ask. Loki’s jaw locks, glancing at the ground before you 

   “Our sister”

   your E/c eyes went wider this time. Since when did Thor have a sister? Was she adopted too? She claery had a disdain for her father just as much as Loki did. Maybe Thor was the one who was actually adopted. “Oh- wow” you comment.

   “Enough about my family. I have to figure out what planet i’m on” Loki interjects as he begins to walk away “Hey! Whether you like it or not we’re in this together, I could have left your ass to die, remember that!” you shout at him. His walking stops and he faces you once more- oh shit. 

   he steps towards you and you back up until a piece of debris. Loki stops inches from your face, his hand reaching up to your neck to hold it in his hand “Don’t assume for a moment that you and i are some sort of friends like you are with my brother” he speaks lowly. 

   you glare right back at him “Let go of me before i put a icicle through your eye” you snarl at him. A small smirk forms on his face “You put up this illusion that you are as tough as nails, but i can see right through you. Your just as broken as the rest of us. Let’s explore that shall we?”

   Loki reaches up and places his hand on your forehead. 

    ☼-☪-☼

  two years ago

   Loki opened his eyes and looked around the room. Where was he? He was in the darkest memories of your mind.  “Put her in the chamber” Strucker spoke as three men went over to grab a pale woman on the floor. You. You were wearing a hospital gown and your hair was overgrown. 

   you flaid, kicked, and screamed “Please! No! i’ll try harder i swear! Please!” when you had first developed your powers and the doctors realized they couldn’t touch you Strucker thought you had been doing it on purpose. So mean with full body suits would put you in a heat chamber. 

   the intense heat had a even stronger effect on you because of your unique enhancement. Strucker opens the door as the three men throw you in. You land on the ground with a hard thud and stand up quickly, running towards the door but it had already shut. 

   Strucker stands outside the glass window that showed you inside and looked towards a woman sitting at the desk “Turn it on, the highest it can go” he spoke and she nods, pressing a green button before pushing a dial up. Loki looks confused for a moment as he stands beside strucker. 

   the room starts to heat up and you fall to the ground your tears sizzling as they ran down your face. At the moment Loki took a step back. Heat exhaustion. A form of torture he knew all to well. something he hoped to never witness again. You let out screams of agony until you eventually passed out.

   back in 2012 when earth was attack by Loki he was under the control of Thanos who had kidnapped him and tortured him with the same methods because of his Jotun side. It worked nonetheless and he was under Thanos’s control. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Loki opened his eyes and snatched his hand away from your head. You slid down against the debris until you hit the ground with a small thud. He had made you relive your worst fears like it had just happened only moments ago. How could he do such a thing. 

   “I’m so-” before Loki could say another word he felt something bite at his neck. He hissed and reached for his neck and felt something cold and metallic. He tried to tug it off, but instead got harsh bursts of electricity shot through his body over and over again. 

   he fell to the ground, shaking violently, turning his head he saw you. You were holding your face, still shaken up. Loki watched as someone came up to you and hit you with a blunt object, knocking you out cold. Loki reached his hand out to you, but it seemed his body gave up on him and he passed out.

    ☼-☪-☼

   Loki awoke with the sound of people talking around him. He went to move his arms first but they were chained behind his back “Oh look he’s awake good! Hello! I’m the grandmaster, ruler of Sakaar.” a man with blue strips on his face spoke and a robe type outfit. 

   “May i ask why i’m in chains?” Loki questions with his usual ‘i could kill all of you’ smirk. The grandmaster shrugs his shoulders “Had to make sure you and your friend weren’t hostile. It’s only temporary of course” He says. Friend? Who was he talking about? Y/n.

   Loki looked around instantly, trying to find you of course “Oh yes, she’s currently in the infirmary Our scraper hit her a bit too hard. Anyway, whats your name?” the grandmaster asked, gesturing to the scraper next to him. Some random girl with light brown skin and white markings over her face.

   he would kill her later.

   “Loki of asgard, god of mischief” he spoke, giving his best presentable grin. The grandmaster laughs. Rude “God of mischief, how spooky. Tell me god of pranks, did you fight on asgard?” he questions. Loki raises a brow. What was this man playing at?

   “i was used for my intelligence more then my strength. Battle plans, strategies, political consultant and such” Loki explains, slightly lying out of his ass. the grandmaster looked impressed, at least that’s what Loki thought. How would we get out of this one? 

   “Hm. Well- you will be spared from fighting in the contest of champions as well as your lady friend. As long as you swear your undying loyalty to me and my planet” The Grandmaster stands up from his chair and walks to Loki. He waves his hand at one of the guards.

   the guard beside Loki reached down to uncuff his hands and took off his neck chip. Loki shrugged them off before standing up, rubbing his wrists. The Grandmaster stood in front of him with his hand out. Loki gave him a grin and grabbed his hand, shaking it “I swear” he spoke. 

  the Grandmaster smile before his eyes trail him up and down “How bout we get you into some yellow. green’s a bit tacky”

   “Pardon?”

    ☼-☪-☼

   later that night

   a guard escorted Loki to his accommodations in his new green and yellow suit. “Green is not tacky, it’s a very classy color. What a moron” he grumbles under his breath. Once the door open, he stepped inside and looked around. (similar to Hulks, but dark green and white)

   it’ll do for now. He only got to take one step before he was pushed against a wall, something cold and sharp jabbed at the side of his neck, pressing firmly but not enough to break skin “Oh- it’s just you” a voice spoke. Yours. Loki looked down at you. 

   your head had a bandage around it and your top was missing leaving you in a black sports bra and your plaid pants from earlier. loki couldn’t help but notice your delectable figure, making him breath heavily “Eyes up here you son of a bitch” you snap, pressing the icicle further in his neck.

   Loki looked at your face and notice a bruise forming on your jaw. It made him....angry to say the least, but he couldn’t understand why. “Would you kindly get that out of my face. I just saved us” he says. You give him a ‘what’ face and slowly remove the icicle, your body turning back to normal once again. 

   “How?” you question, walking towards the bed in the center of the room, Loki following “I have made good with Grandmaster so he wont make us compete in some barbaric tournament” he spoke, boosting his own ego really You roll your eyes and take a seat on the bed “How does that help us, were still stuck here”

   Loki scoffs “I just made sure you weren’t going to be killed. You could at least say thank you” you felt a anger boiling within you “Thank you?! You want me to say thank you?! Remember we aren’t friends. I should have stayed with Thor, but for some reason i cant comprehend, he still cares about you”

   Loki felt his chest tighten a bit at your words about his brother. You were right. No matter how much he betrayed Thor he would always be at his side to fight alongside him, but he never admitted it. “I should have used my necklace. I should have never left the base” you thought aloud

   the god looked puzzled “What necklace?” you look at him for a moment then at the ceiling “Tony gave me this necklace with a beacon. I had forgotten all about it until some bitch nurse took it away because it wasn’t aloud. I tried to get it back, but she pushed me into a wall” you replied. 

   Loki looked around the room once more and spotted a conjoining room, before he could say anything you stood up, grabbing your shirt and all of your dignity along with you “Goodnight’ you spoke before walking into said room and slamming the door shut. 

   this was going to suck

    ☼-☪-☼

   ‘Put her in the chamber!’

   no please..

   ‘Your worthless!’

    no i’m not

   you sat up in a cold sweat, more literally then normal. You looked around the room and noticed a cold fog. Turning your head, you look out the window. Pitch black. If you squint hard enough you could see your reflection. Yep white skin You change yourself back.

   the door burst open and standing in the doorway is Loki, hair no longer slicked back but disheveled and wearing a simple black shirt and matching pants. he had daggers in his hands, looking ready for a fight “What are you doing?” you ask.

   Loki looks confused “Why did you scream? I thought you were being attacked” he spoke, annoyance in his voice. You narrow your eyes and turn to your side, facing away from him “Get out” you spoke, not really wanting to see his face. He had no right to ask that. 

   “Pardon-”

   “I said get the hell out!” 

       ☼-☪-☼

   three days later

   you never left the room. To the Grandmaster, you were Loki’s property so he didn’t really care much. The servants came and brought you breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Some brought you books to read and others didn’t. You had also been avoiding the god himself. 

   he had tried starting a conversation with you once or twice, but it never really went to his plan. Mostly ending up with you threatening to kill him or you telling him off. Loki was stain in your life all you wanted was to be rid off him and go back home. 

   you had just wrapped a towel around your body, hair dripping from being in the bath. As you went to open the door the god was standing just outside the door, holding a towel in his hand. His blue eyes trailed up and down your body. You pushed past him and walked into your room, shutting the door.

   Loki felt his body tingle in way it hadn’t before. He exhaled deeply before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door 

    ☼-☪-☼

   later that night (again)

   you sat up screaming bloody murder as you gripped your head. Instead of nightmare you had a nighterror instead. Your body was thrashing around like someone was attacking, but no one was. Just like last time Loki opened your door, almost breaking it off the hinges.

   he looked at your state and practically jumped on your bed. His face made him looked..worried? You back away instinctively “No you can’t touch-” Loki cuts you off by wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. How- how was this happening. You couldn’t touch anyone before, why now?”

   you didn’t notice the cold tears running down your face as Loki rubbed your back in soothing circles “How is this possible? I thought that-” “You can’t touch anyone because of your ability, but...what a i am, what i really am makes me immune to the cold in any form” he explains. 

   so this is what another's skin felt like. Soft, a little different from yours. You pull away a bit and began to touch different parts of his face. You run a finger along the side of his face, making him inhale sharply “what’re doing?” he asked in a low tone. 

   “I have never touched another person with my bare hand. Im curious” you say. Loki sighs and lets you continue your weird- whatever this could be called. After a couple minutes you let go of him, wiping your face “Your still a dick for what you did” you say. 

   Loki sighs, nodding his head ‘I’ve been told, by multiple people. I hope this makes up for it just a little” he says. Hope? You nod once “Yeah, your getting there. Now out antlers i have to sleep” you say, a grin forming on your face. Loki grumbles “That’s just rude”

       ☼-☪-☼

   two weeks later

   “I don’t even like parties” you spoke, looking at the words in your book. “You’ve been cooped up in this room for two whole weeks. You need to try and have some fun” Loki insisted. You look up and him and sighed, damn god. “fine, but no promises i’ll be having any fun. I also have nothing to wear”

   Loki’s smile turned into a grin “stand up” he instructs. You roll your eyes and place the novel down before standing up from your seat “You better not do anything mischievous Loki” you say and he shrugs his shoulders. In a split second your hair was done and your outfit had changed. 

   the top part of the dress was a blue and a tad bronze lined leather that connected with some icy blue tool that made the bottom part. You looked, beautiful. “This doesn’t look like Sakaar attire?” you question, looking from the dress to him. Loki nods once, stepping towards you. 

   “That’s because it isn’t. It’s a tradition asgardian dress” he explains. You hummed in response “Really? I don’t think i do it much justice then” you spoke with a small laugh, turning around to face the large decorative mirror that was behind you. 

   you look at yourself in the dress, touching your face and squeezing your waist a bit. as you do so, Loki walks forward and stops a couple inches behind you. he leans down so his chin his hovering over your shoulder. You could feel his breath on your neck “I think you look lovely. Now, shall we?”

    ☼-☪-☼

   it was a couple hours into the party and Loki was chatting it up with some people. Telling them life stories that he clearly altered to be in his favor while you sat beside him, silent. “And in that moment, i let go” the people around you laughed while you rolled your eyes. 

   “Y/n!”

   “Loki!”

   you and Loki both turn your heads to the right at the sound of your names being called. Oh my gods. Thor?! You stood up quickly, Loki following you hesitantly “Excuse me for a second”. “Loki, over here!” Thor yells again, catching the attention of a few people. 

   Loki stood in front of his brother while you were beside Thor in the chair “Shh, Shh. Shut up!” Loki snapped in a hushed tone. “What?” Thor replied in the same hushed tone. “Your alive?” Loki looks his brother up and down while Thor just looked confused “Ah yes of course i’m alive!” 

   “What’re you doing here?” Loki questions. “What do you mean ‘what am i doing?’ I’m stuck in this stupid chair! Where’s your chair!?” Thor asked, making you stifle a chuckle. “We didn’t get a chair” Loki says, waving his hand towards you. 

   Thor glances at you for a moment and you give hima half smile before he turns back to his brother. “Well get me out of this one” Thor commands, struggling against the metal clasps that held his arms in place. “I can’t” Loki replies. What? Why couldn’t he help him?

   “Get me out!”

   “I can’t”

   “What?”

   Loki points into a random direction “I made friends with this man. he’s called the Grandmaster-” he explains. Oh yeah- the whole loyalty thing. Thor shakes his head “What’re you crazy?!” Thor accuses. You asked yourself that sometimes. “-I’ve gained his favor. The bifrost spat me out here weeks ago”

   “He thinks i’m Loki’s property, so yeah your right. Crazy”

   where has Thor been these past two and a half weeks? Thor looked extremely confused now “Weeks ago?! I- i just got here” he tries to say. You look up and see the face of the Grandmaster across from you “Oh shit!” you jump, holding onto the glass in your hand. 

   “What’re we whispering about?” he says with that creepy guard lady behind him, holding the melt stick as he called it. Thor jumps up at the sound of his voice ‘Uh Ah!” he shouts while Loki grabs your arm and pulls you a few steps back from Thor along with him. 

   “Time works real different around these parts” He starts, turning the records on his dj table? I don’t know. “On any other world i’d be like millions and millions  years old, but here on Sakaar” he finished explaining then just smiled expectantly like he was waiting for someone to say something. 

   you felt Loki tighten his grip on your arm a bit. What’s got him so tense? Loki opened his mouth to speak, but closed it right after. the Grandmaster waves his hand “In any case you know this uh- this uh. What do you call yourself? Lord of thunder?”

   “God of thunder” you and Thor say at the same time. Thor nods towards the Grandmaster “Tell him” he says to Loki. the black haired god begins to laugh nervously “i’ve never met this man in my life” he says, pointing to Thor for a brief moment “Loki!” you say, hitting his shoulder. What a dick. 

   Loki looked at you with a ‘what’ face. “He’s my brother!”Thor growls, mostly upset because of Loki. “Adopted” Loki interjects, making you hit him again. The Grandmaster looks up for a moment “Is he any kind of a fighter?” he asked. It’s Thor- duh. 

   Thor begins to laugh irritably “You take this thing out of my neck and i’ll show you” he threatens. You sigh deeply. Men am i right. The Grandmaster laughs along with him “Oh look at that he’s threatening me” he coos like Thor was some sort of baby. 

   “Hey sparkles-” the Grandmaster starts, making thor struggles against the chair once more “-you want to get back to ass..place. Ass berg-” he says. Oh he did not just say that. “Asgard!” You and Thor shout in unison. Loki gives you another look “Oh shut up your not helping, Loki”

   “-any contender who defeats my champion there freedom they shall win” you had heard about the Grandmaster’s contender =, but had never saw him. He was supposedly undefeated, but this is Thor were talking about here. “Fine! Then point me in the direction to whoever's ass i have to kick!”

   the Grandmaster smile and waves his fingers at Thor “That’s what i call contender” he says excitedly before lifting up this remot like object “The direction that would be in this way lord” he presses a button and Thor’s chair begins to move away. 

   “Loki!” Thor shouts. You pull yourself out of Loki’s grip and lift the bottom of your dress off the floor so you could run up to the chair. You face Thor and smile “I’m going to get you out okay?” you say before two guards grab both of your arms. Damn- they had gloves on. 

   “Remove your arms from Lady Y/n you buffoons!” Thor shouts before he disappears around the corner. You struggle against there grip for a second before managing to rip your arm from one of them. Your skin turned it’s icy white and blue and your pupils vanished. 

   just as you formed a icicle, someone grabbed your arm. You looked at who it was and saw Loki. “Think for a moment before you kill somebody. Now let’s go” he didn’t give a chance to reply before dragging you out the party hall. What a hypocrite honestly. He killed people all the time. 

       ☼-☪-☼

   “You are insufferable, you know that!” you shout as Loki closes the door to your shared room “I’m insufferable!? You almost got yourself killed and for what?!” Loki shouts back. “To tell Thor that everything was going to work out. All you did was make it worse Loki. That’s all you ever seem to do!”

   Loki’s jaw clenched, his hands tightening into a fist “Don’t talk as if you know me!” he snaps at you. Loki walks up to you and pushes you up against the wall, his hand grabbed both of yours and held them over your head. Kinky- not now, just not now. 

    “Oh screw you and your I’m misunderstood bullshit! You left Thor hanging out to dry again and in the end of it all he still called out for your name! You know one day Thor is going to give up on you and your going to wish you had at least tried to be a good brother”

   Loki was breathing heavily as his blue eyes bore deep within your very soul. He looked at your face, studying every inch you had to offer. In a quick motions he dips down closer, his lips centimeters away from yours. Loki’s face scrunches up. He was debating in his hand. A battle in his own mind if you will. 

   he backs away from you, letting go off your hands “If you want to talk to my brother, follow me” he says and heads back towards the door. You felt almost disappointed that he didn’t keep going. Was that wrong? 

    ☼-☪-☼

   in the end you and Loki could not physically find away into the holding room that Thor and the other contenders were in, but Loki said he could create an illusion of you both to talk to him. As long as you got to see Thor “Ready?” Loki asked and you nodded once.  

   you only blink once and suddenly your in this brown, dirty, circular shaped room. What a mess. “Odin-” you heard someone speak dn turned to your left to see Thor. He was kneeling over some homemade shrine.  “I bid you take your place in the halls of Valhalla-” he spoke. 

   it was probably a some sort of prayer they used after a loved one has died. “- Where the brave shall live forever. Where thine enemies have been vanquished, Nor shall we mourn but rejoice” this what heartbreaking to hear honestly. Thor was always the toughest guy you knew and now you were witnessing this.

   everyone has feelings though. Even witches like Loki

   “For those who have died The glorious death” Loki chimed in with Thor. The god of thunder turns around and sits against the wall “Lady Y/n” he nods towards you. You give him a small smile “Hey” you reply. “Hurts doesn’t it, being lied too?” Loki started. Oh for fucks sake. 

   “Being told your one thing then learning it’s all a fiction” Thor looked at the ground before picking up a rock and tossing it in Loki’s direction. The rock went straight through Loki, making him chuckle lightly “I mean- you didn’t think i really come and see you did you? This place is disgusting” Loki gestures to the floor.

   you sigh deeply “There were guards outside- after my stunt at the party. i’m not allowed out anywhere without Loki” you explained “That’s quite alright lady Y/n. I understand. Those men didn’t hurt you, did they?” Thor asks, grabbing another rock from the floor. You shake your head “No, of course not”

   “Good” Thor replies, throwing the rock through Loki’s face “One less person i have to kill before we leave this place” he says. Still over protective of you. Some things never change though do they? “Does this mean you don’t want my help?” Loki asked, noticing how Thor only addressed you. 

   “where did you offer help in any of the words you just spoke?” You question. Loki didn’t reply to you though. Petty bitch. “I couldn’t jeopardize our-” “-Your, don’t pretend to care about lady Y/n” Thor interjected. Loki sighed before continuing. thor had clearly touched a nerve. 

   “our position with the Grandmaster. Took me time to win his trust. He's a          lunatic, but he can be amenable.” Loki replied. You shake your head “Is everyone amenable to you, Loki?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. Loki glances at you for a moment “No”

   Thor lifted another rock from the ground and threw it through Loki’s face “What I'm telling you is, you could join me at the Grandmaster's side. Perhaps, in time, an accident befalls the Grandmaster, and then...” Loki points to his brother mouthing ‘you then you ‘Y/n’ then himself ‘me’

   “Oh wow- you really do suck” you say going over to Thor and pointing at a rock “Can you throw that rock for me?” you ask and he simply nods with a smile before picking it up and throwing it at him. You smile lightly. Good friend things. You look at Loki who takes a step forward.

   “You're not seriously thinking of going back, are you?“ he asked with a questioning look. “i would” you mumble before stepping backwards. Thor looks like he had just been punched in the face, but had his hands folded casually. Thor was stubborn. 

   “Our sister destroyed your hammer like a piece of glass.“ Loki says, holding his hands out. “She's stronger than all of us. She's stronger than you“ he adds. No offense, but you definitely could’ve done some damaged if Thor had not shouted your name back at the field and alerted her to you. 

   “You don't stand a chance. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?” Loki’s tone gets more aggressive while Thor just scowls at him “Loki” you say, trying to get him to shut up. After a couple seconds Loki lets out a bitter laugh “Fine” he says. 

   “I guess I'll just have to go it alone. Like I've always done.”

   Loki’s comment makes Thor smirk. One that Loki notices “Would you say something?” Loki asked. You sigh deeply. Why do you feel as if there was going to be yelling? Anyway- Thor stays silent, looking at the ground for more stones he could throw at Loki. 

   “Say something!” Loki shouts in a louder tone

   and he does “What would you like me to say?” Thor starts. This felt awkward, being there you mean. “You stole the throne, stripped Odin of his power,          stranded him on Earth-” Loki went to say something, but Thor keeps talking “-To die, releasing the goddess of death”

   “he didn’t know that would happen Thor-” you say, but are quickly shut up just as Loki was “Have I said enough, or do you do you want me to go further back than the past two days?” Thor asked. You look at Loki who looks like he’s holding back tears at his brother cold stare. 

   nonetheless, he composes himself “You know, I haven't seen this               Beloved Champion he talks of, but I've heard he's astonishingly savage. I've placed a large wager against you tomorrow. Don't let me down.” he spoke as his illusion starts to vanish. Your time is almost up.

   you look at Thor as he lifts a glass bottle from the ground and throws it at the wall where Loki was. “Thor, your going to do great out there. I’ll be watching” you spoke and gave him a small smile. Thor looks at you and nods “Goodbye” you said and just as you blinked you were standing next to Loki. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   you both walked back to your room in silence. Loki looked awful. Like he wanted to breakdown at any moment. You felt bad for him. He had lost both his parents, just as you had. You could relate to some of his pain. so you should try to comfort him, right?

   when the door shut behind you both, you reached up and placed a hand on Loki’s shoulder “Loki- i’m sorry about Odin. I know you say you love him like Thor does, but he had to have meant something to you” you spoke as calmly as you could.

   Loki’s body tensed under your touch “I never stopped loving my father” he says, which surprises you “He raised me I was just so angry that they lied about me. I was never truly there child” he spoke, his voice beginning to waver. 

   “Odin and Frigga took you in as their own. They didn’t care that you weren’t biologically there’s. They gave you a home when no one else did Loki. That’s what being a parent is.” you spoke and left go of his shoulder “You can have some time alone. I’ll be in my room” 

   you walk past the god and towards your door, “Thank you, Y/n. How did you know what to say?” Loki spoke, making you turn around “Just what i wished someone had told me when avengers came to save me” you shrug and walk into the room, shutting the door. 

       ☼-☪-☼

   “I can’t believe you put a wager against your brother” You said, walking alongside Loki. wearing another tradition asgardian dress that Loki had picked out for you. It was another icy blue dress that had a soft brown leather as the straps. iIt was flowy and had a slit down the side. 

   “It was only a joke” He replies, holding your hand as you walked through the crowds of people. The Grandmaster had invited you and Loki to watch Thor’s fight from the ‘Grandmasters box’ stupid bastard and his stupid terms. As you walk, you pass by where the contenders are being held. Thor. 

   you didn’t have time “Will seen him soon. I can tell your worried about him” Loki spoke, squeezing your hand softly. “Thor was one of the first people to help me when i got out of Hydra. I owe him everything” you say. Loki sighs deeply before you both continue walking.

   as you drew closer you were able to hear the cheers and roars of the crowd. jeez it’s just a bunch of idiots fighting- go watch some Tv or something. Suddenly you heard the Grandmaster speak. What a loser this guy was. Thinking that you were just some mans property. 

   “ow! Look at all of you. What a show, WHAT-A-NIGHT! Who's having fun? Please, I'm your host. Big round of applause for all of our undercard competitors who died so gruesomely. Good sports. What a show! What a night! This is what you've come for and so have I.”

   when he finished speaking is when you and Loki entered the very bright room, filled with different people from different worlds. Bruce would have love to see this, sometimes you forget he’s gone. You just hoped that you’d find out what happened to him one day. 

   Loki leads you  towards the front, skillfully grabbing two drinks and handing one to you. What a gentlemen- wait no. Damnit. “Making his first appearance, though he looks quite promising, got a couple of tricks up his sleeve. I'll say no more, see what you think. Ladies and gentlemen...”

   you look down from the glass and see a latch lifting up. That has to be him. “I give to you...Lord of Thunder!” the Grandmaster shouts. You smile as your eyes landed on Thor “Oh my god they cut his hair!” you exclaim “It’s just hair” Loki replies, taking a sip from his drink. 

   you scoff “Okay, let me cut yours” you say and he glares “I’d rather die” he says and you nod “Told you so” the crowd was booing Thor, along with a couple people next you. “Oh screw yourselves” you grumble under your breath. Loki wraps his free arm around your waist and pulls you flush to his side.

   “Try to behave darling, will you?” Loki leans down to whisper into your ear. You feel a tingling feeling in your stomach. Was he using his magic on you. “Yeah yeah, whatever” you huff, earning a smirk from the god holding you “That’s a good girl” he says- and there goes the stomach again.

   you both turn back to watch Thor as he walks to the center of the arena. “Watch out for his fingers. They make sparks.” the Grandmaster says, making you roll your eyes at his statement. Thor puts a helmet on his head and pulls the small latch down. 

   The Grandmasters hologram began to rub his hands together “Okay, this is it. Let's get ready to welcome this guy. Here he comes. He is a creature. What can we say about him? Well, he's unique. There's none like him. I feel a special connection with him.” he gets the crowd riled up. 

   green bombs of dust or some kind of pigment begin to explode in the sky and over the crowd. “He's undefeated. HE'S THE REIGNING...HE'S THE DEFENDING...Ladies and gentlemen... I give you...” he spoke in broken sentences. Now he was getting you scared. 

   the door begins to open from the other side. It only happened halfway when it was smashed through by some green, big, angry...Hulk?! You feel as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders “Bruce?” you whisper to yourself, almost dropping the glass in your hand. 

   Loki on the other hand turned paler then he already was and let go of you “I have to get off this planet” he spoke and turned around to leave the room, but the Grandmaster was right behind him “Hey, hey, hey! Where are you going?” he questions, but Loki has no words. Neither do you. 

   the Grandmaster leads you both to the long couch and you and Loki sit side by side. You could hear Bruce screaming Hulk into the crowd. What was going on? Thor suddenly turns from the Hulk to where you guys are “Hey! We know each other. He's a friend from work!” then we went to talk to Hulk.

   you didn’t notice your hands were shaking as Loki placed his on top of one yours “Are- are you alright?” he asked and you reach up to wipe away a forming tear “I haven’t seen bruce in two years. I thought he was gone- dead” despite Loki being in fear of his life he gave you a smile. “Well, that’s good”

   “Loki! Y/n! Look who it is!”

   you both look away from each other and look at Thor who was gesturing Hulk to look at Loki. Loki looked like he wanted the world to swallow him up “You’ll be alright. If he does come up here i can protect you. Hulk loves me” you say with a toothy grin. 

   suddenly Hulk charges at Thor “What is he doing?!” you shout as both Thor and Hulk begin to fight each other. This is not according to plan at all. A couple seconds later it looks like Hulk was about to grab Thor's hand “Oh thank god” you mumble to yourself a little too soon. 

   Hulk picked up Thor by his leg and through him repeatedly onto the ground before tossing him to the side. Loki shoots up from his seat “Yes! That's how it feels!” he exclaims. Jeez. You stand up and grab his arm. Loki turns to see the Grandmaster staring at him strangely.

   “I'm just a huge fan of the sport.” Loki explains and the Grandmaster just laughs. You sit Loki down as well as yourself “Real calm and classy there antlers” you say with a small grin. Loki growls under his breath “Really? How ‘bout you let that green moron smash you into the ground”

   you couldn’t help, but laugh “I’m sorry. That sounded so wrong” you say, your mind going to straight to the gutter. Loki looks at you weirdly before cringing “You are a perverted girl” he says. You shrug your shoulders “Yeah whatever. Do something about it” you say jokingly, going back to watching Thor.

   you feel Loki’s hand being firmly placed on your thigh, his other hand sliding behind your back to grip your waist “I can show you what i can do about it later if you so desire” error error Y/n.exe has stopped working. You feel that fluttery feeling in your stomach again. Damn god of teasing.

   you somehow manage to keep your cool and grinned at him “No offense, your highness. You couldn’t handle me” you say. His brow raises in amusement. No one has ever said such a thing to him. Just as he opens his mouth you see in the corner of your eye the Grandmaster pulling out the chip remote.

   he presses the button and Thor falls to the ground. That dirty cheater. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   hours later

   it was after the fight and you were pacing back and forth in your room while Loki sat on the bed “Will you cut that out?” Loki suggested and your skin change quickly. You form a icicle and throw it towards him. He catches it in his hand swiftly “Do not tell me to calm down! That dirty freak cheated!”

   Loki sighs and goes to open his mouth when the door opens. “The Grandmaster has requested your presence Loki of asgard” a guard spoke. Your skin changed back to normal as Loki stood up. You go walk along with him when the guard stops you “Only Loki” he spoke.

   you sigh and nod, giving Loki a small smile. “I’ll be here once you get back” you say and he sighs before leaving with the guard. Now, your stuck here. All alone. You go over to the bed and sit down. The sheets were still messed up from where Loki had slept the night before. 

   why were you thinking about that?

   the door flies open, revealing a brown skinned woman with asgardian armor and white markings on her. “Hello Lady Y/n. Thor asked me to come find you. Noe let’s go” she spoke quickly. You got up instantly and walked to her. Wait “Will be we getting Loki?” you ask

   the woman looks at you for a moment and nods “Yes- later now lets go princess before i’m late for a meeting with the Grandmaster. I heard you can fight by the way so i got you some good clothes to move around in.” you nod as you both alk out the room

    ☼-☪-☼

   the woman, who told you to call her Val had dropped you off at the junkyard, but let you get changed first of course into a black leather warrior outfit. . At first you were confused as why she had dropped you here, but when you saw Thor leaving a quinjet.

   as you ran up to him you saw another person leaving. It was Bruce in Tony’s clothes? “Bruce!” you yell. He turns around and looks at you with a confused stare “Y/n? Your taller and older. Wait- Why are you here?!” he questions. You chuckle and look at Thor “It’s a long story, where are we going?”

       ☼-☪-☼

   with Val and Loki

   both asgardians had just walked out the Grandmasters hall to find and capture Thor and Hulk. They were both walking fast since Loki said he could get them back in one hour. “What have you done?” Loki accuses only full well she had something to do with the escape. 

   Val takes takes one look at him and scowls “I don’t answer to you, lackey” she snaps back. Loki stops and grabs her arm “It’s Loki and you will answer to the Grandmaster” he says. Val pushes off his arm and punches him in the nose. Loki stumbles back a bit and pulls out a Sakaarian blade

   “Why would you help me brother escape with that green fool?” He questions, pointing the blade at her. Val pulls out a blade of her own “I don’t help anyone” she quips back and the two rush each other. Hitting, kicking, dodging, the whole ordeal. at one point Loki grabbed her arm and saw her mark.

   “You're a Valkyrie. I thought the Valkyrie all died gruesome deaths?” he says, knowing it would rile her up and it did. Val escapes from his grip and pushes him against the wall, holding the knife to his throat “Choose your next words wisely” she seethes down at him.

   Loki looks up at her, smug “Terribly sorry. Must be a very painful memory...” and puts his hand on her forehead. Val was taken back to the moment the Valkyrie were sent to fight Hela for the thrown. Val watched them all die again as well as her girlfriend. 

   once she came back she was pushed back onto the floor by Loki. She stands back up quickly and pushes him on the ground, straddling him “You know your majesty, i have some terrible news for you. I went to your little girlfriends room after you left” she started, making Loki’s eyes go wide. 

   “she was a pretty one i’ll give you that. That was until i slit her throat and watched her bleed out” It was Val’s turn to rile Loki up. “Y-Your lying!” Loki shouts, struggling against her. “Oh really?” she says and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a piece of blue tool from your dress, stained with blood. 

   Loki felt his heart drop into his stomach, like he wanted to vomit and cry all at the same time “No...’ he mumbles and grabs the tool from her hand. Val looked stunned for a moment before punching his face and knocking him out. She was not expectantly that kind of reaction from him.  

    ☼-☪-☼

   you, Thor, and Bruce were walking through the crowd of Hulk worshippers basically when Val had found you. She had led you all inside safely. She was a pretty cool gal. You had to get her number after this. Does she have a phone. You all walked down this hall when she stops. 

   Bruce stopped behind thor and you stopped behind Bruce. “Look, I've spent years in a haze trying to forget my past. Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink and forget and to die one day.” Val spoke, making you frown slightly. Thor nods.

    “I was thinking that you drink too much, and that probably was going to kill you.” Thor spoke. Val gave him an annoyed look before walking towards the door “Also, i have a piece offering” she said vaguely before opening the door. Thor walks in first, then Bruce. 

   Once you walk in you noticed Loki, chained up and hanging his head in shame, he was looking at a piece  of tool that rested on the ground in front of him “Brother?” Thor spoke, crouching down to look at his face “Loki are you alright?” he asked 

   “she was so much like me you know, we both didn’t know where we belonged. Both too cold and felt like monsters. I had never felt that way about anyone. I don’t think i’ll ever feel that way again. I don’t want too actually, not if it isn’t her” everyone in the room could notice his voice breaking. 

   just as you were about too console him Val put an arm in front of you and pressed a finger to her mouth. Telling you to shut it basically. You are confused, but nod slowly “Brother. I don’t understand. Who are you talking about? What has made you this upset?” Thor questions. 

   Loki’s body started to shake as he sobbed “Y/n. That scraper killed her. she took her away from me, now i’m all alone again.” he explains solemnly. Thor looks confused “Loki, lady Y/n is right here” he spoke. Loki lifted his head up and Thor was right. There you were, alive. 

   Loki didn’t know whether to be relieved or angered, but he stuck with relieved. “Let him out!” you shout, walking over to Loki to pull on the chains. “Y/n i don’t think that’s such a good idea-” Bruce started, but you didn’t care. You got the chains undone and Loki instantly wrapped his arms around you.

   “Hey, i’m here” you say as he holds onto tightly, almost like you would disappear if he let you go “I know” he replies before pulling away. You look around and notice everyone staring at you “What?” Loki spots Bruce and tilts his head “Hello Bruce” he spoke, standing up from the chair.

   Bruce looks at him “So, last time i saw you, you were trying to kill everybody. Where are you at these days?” he questions. Loki looked at you then Val who was grabbing something out the closet “It varies from moment to moment” he spoke before completely ignoring him.

   Loki studies your face “I’m alive Loki” you say to reassure him and he sighs “i know, just wan’t to keep it that way” he says. You muster up a smile “That is the nicest thing you have said to me since we got here” you admit. He rolls his eyes and looks down for a moment then back at you 

   “I need to tell you something-”

   “Loki come here!” Thor says, waving at him from the otherside of the room. Loki sighs and look at you, going to say something “It’s okay. we can talk later” you reassure him and he smiles.

    ☼-☪-☼

   you, Loki, and Thor were assigned to get a ship for all of you to leave on, but throughout the whole time you were fighting to get there Loki and Thor were talking about leaving each other or staying together. You wished you stayed with Bruce and Val. 

   now you were in a elevator, with you standing in front of the two, skin icy white and blue and no pupils. “Here's the thing. I'm probably better off staying here on Sakaar.” Loki says. You turn around and look at him with wide eyes “Loki-” you say, but Thor interrupts “That's exactly what I was thinking.”

   okay what? “Thor-” you say this time, but the same thing happens. “Did you just agree with me?” Loki asked, stunned. Thor shrugs “Come on, this place is perfect for you. It's savage, chaotic, lawless. Brother, you're going to do great here.” Thor says, glancing at him once- ouch.

   Loki looks forward and you wished you hadn’t come at all “Do you truly think so little of me?” Loki questions. Thor pauses for a moment before looking at his brother. “ Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever. But, at the end of the day, you're you, I'm me” he starts. 

   you watch as Loki’s face changes from different emotions. To hope, then sorrow. “I don't know, maybe there's still good in you-” Thor says and gestures to you “-but let's be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.” he finished. You stepped aside Loki and reached down to grab his hand. 

   Loki sighs and looks at his brother one last time “Yeah... It's probably for the best that we never see one another again.” he replies, nodding his head. You look down. Stupid boys. “That's what you always wanted.” Thor says and pats his brother on the back, you noticed he place the chip on his back.

   strange, but you trust Thor’s judgement. Doesn’t mean you weren’t going to swipe the remote off of him though. 

   Loki looks away slowly letting go of your hand. It was silence for a few moments. Awkward silence filled with tension and emotion. Jumping through the glass and falling to your death didn’t really look so bad right now “Hey, let’s do get help” Thor pipes up.

   “What?” Loki asked, turning to look at Thor again

   “What’s get help?-”

   “Get help” Thor repeats with a cheery smile on his face. 

   “Oh come on, you love it” 

   “No i hate it

   “It’s great. It works every time”

   “Its humiliating”

   “Do you have a better plan?” 

   you got to speak when they just start talking again “No” Loki replies and Thor just looks back forward with a smile “Were doing it” he says and Loki does the same “We are not doing get help” Loki says, thinking that’s the end of it. You look at both of them and groan “I hate both of you”

    ☼-☪-☼

   as the elevator door opens, you are stuck clinging onto the ceiling. You wait a couple of seconds “Alright. Come down” Thor calls and you jump down from the bar “Get help huh?” you chuckle, looking at Loki who turns and glares at you. You smile and walk behind them.

   “Now which one is the ship she told us to get?” Thor asked. Loki pointed at a bright orange ship “The Commodore” he says. You all begin to walk.  A second later he walks away, grabbing your arm to follow along with him and leaving a illusion walking alongside Thor. What?

   “Though I feel it won't make much of a difference” the illusion spoke. Thor sighs “Oh Loki” and turns to see you and Loki at the control panel “I know I've betrayed you many times before, but this time it's truly nothing personal. The reward for\ your capture will set Y/n and i up nicely.”

   Y/n what now? Loki presses a button on the panel and the places starts to go off “Loki, you didn’t” you gasp as you rip your arm from him. “Never one for sentiment, were you?” Thor asks. Loki grinned “Easier to let it burn.” he replies in a low tone.

   Thor reaches into his pocket as his eyes go wide. You slowly back away from Loki “Y/n-” “You self centered prick!” you snapped, pulling the remote out of your pocket. His face drops and he takes a step forward “Y/n, please-” he tries to explain, but you had already made up your mind. “No!” you shout. 

   Loki goes to speak again, but you press the button, watching as he drops to the floor. Thor walks past you and towards Loki “Oh that looks painful” Thor mumbles. You follow after him, walking much slower. Thor kneels down beside his brother. 

   “Oh brother, you're becoming predictable. I trust you, you betray me. Round and round in circles we go.” Thor speaks, looking down at Loki. See, Loki, life is about, it's about growth. It's about change, but you seem to just wanna stay the same.” 

   it hurt to see Loki that way, but in the end if he could betray Thor so easily. he’d do it to you too and no amount of love could change that “I guess what I'm trying to say is that you'll always be the God of Mischief, but you could be more.” Thor sighed and stood up “I’ll start the ship” and with that, he left. 

   you look at Thor then Loki. You go to where Thor was kneeling and do the same “You almost fooled me i’ll give you that. The whole touch thing and flirty comments. It almost made me think you felt the same. What tied it in was the tears.” you say, watching as he turned to look at you, pain on his face. 

   “Maybe you do care about me, but in the end you would betray anyone to save your own skin Loki. Thor’s right, you could be so much more. To him, the world...to me” You looked up to stop the tears forming in your eyes to fall down your face. You quickly wipe them and look back down. 

   “Thank you for being my first hug” You stand up and throw the remote a few feet away from him. “and my last” and with that you turned away leaving Loki on Sakaar along with any feelings you had for him. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   after fighting your way out of Sakaar on a orgy ship you passed out. Bruce was the first to wake, then Val and Thor with you being the last “I never thought i’d be back here” Val spoke. You and Bruce undo your seatbelts and stand behind Thor and Val.

   Asgard.

   “Though it be a lot nicer” Bruce spoke up. “Bruce- dude” you say, shaking your head. He noticed all of your collective disappointed stares and sputtered “Not- noth that it’s not nice- it’s just- it’s just on fire” well he was right about that. You assumed it was Hela’s doing. 

   the dashboard started going off and Val  looked at it “Here, up in the mountains. heat signatures, people clustered together. Hela’s coming for them” she explained, pointing at the 3D diagram. You sigh as you power up your abilities, Bruce giving you a odd stare. Guess he’s not used to it. 

   “Okay, drop me off at the palace and i'll draw her away.” Thor spoke up. “Thor she destroyed your hammer like nothing. You can’t do this alone!” you protest. Thor shakes his head and looks back at you, “Then you’ll come with me Lady Y/n” he says “And get yourselves killed?” Val questions

   “The people trapped down there are all that matters. While we're dealing with Hela, I need you two to help get everyone off Asgard.” Thor instrucks. Bruce pokes his head in between and looks at both of them “and how the hell are we supposed to do that?” 

   “I have a man on the ground”

    ☼-☪-☼

   Thor looked up at Val as her and Bruce flew away. Hm, strange. 

   once you two got to the castle, you noticed rumble all over the floor, even a piece with Thor’s face on it. Thor looks up at the ceiling and you follow suit. What you see in horrific. Pictures of Odin and Hela destroying worlds. 

   you look over at Thor and notice his grim face “Thor? Are you okay” you say. Thor sighs and nods “Wait behind a pillar. Hela should be here soon” he says and you nod, walking away to find a hiding spot. 

   Thor sat in the throne and began to band Odin’s scepter on the floor, causing loud booms to flow throughout the castle. Only seconds later did you here Hela’s heels down the hallway. 

   she was here

   “sister” Thor says. You couldn’t see them, but you could hear them. “Your still alive” she says back, soundly somewhat surprised. “ I love what you've done with the place. Redecorating, I see.” Thor spoke. Was this a time to be making jokes??

   “It seems our father's solution to every problem was to cover it up.” Hela snarls at him. Okay she’s getting upset. “Or to cast it out. He told you you were worthy.   He said the same thing to me.” Thor responds, solem in his tone. You could hear the bitterness in his tone  

   “You see, you never knew him, not at\ his best.” Hela sighs like it’s a fond memory to look back on ”Odin and I drowned entire civilizations in blood and tears. Where do you think all this gold came from? And then one day he  decided to become a benevolent king.”

   Hela’s voice becomes more sour “To foster peace, to protect life.” she starts “To have you” ouch- that has gotta sting. “ I understand why you're angry. and you are my sister, and technically have a claim to the throne. And believe me, I would love for  someone else to rule. But it can't be you. You're just the worst.”

   Thor no- you hear the swish noise like the last time she put on her crown “Okay, get up. You're in my seat.” she said, done playing games with Thor. clearly. “You know, Father once told me that a wise king never seeks out war” he says, you could hear his heavy footsteps.

   “But must always be ready for it.” Hela replies, drawing closer

   that’s your cue

   you jump down and ice the floor just as Thor jumps in the air. Hela goes to throw a blade at him, but it ends up missing because she couldn’t balance. her head snaps in your direction and she snarls “You again?!” she shouts, charging towards you.

   pressing your palms together and pull them out quickly, forming a silver sword with a blue base and handle. You lift your sword, but Thor hits her away with the scepter. Hela is knocked back, but for only a moment as she gets up and charges at Thor.

   she manages to knock the scepter away pin Thor against the wall “Here's the difference between us. I'm Odin's firstborn, the rightful heir, the savior of Asgard.” she spoke before throwing Thor to the floor “And you're nothing.” You run up at her and hit her away from Thor.

   “and your a bitch!” you yelled. Now you two her going hand to hand “Who are you? Your not asgardian is that for sure, but i sense a power off you stronger then any human could bare” she spoke, kicking you to the ground “You have the power of a infinity stone. Now that’s interesting darling”

   Hela forms a blade “Too bad that power will die with you” she smiles wickedly as she goes to plunge it into your stomach, but Thor tackles her to the ground. “Y/n leave now!” Thor shouts, as Hela knocks him in the face “But what about you!” you shout, forming a icicle in your hand to throw at her. 

   “This is my fight and i will not lose you. Now go!” he shouts just as Hela sliced his eye. You almost choked before you got yourself together and ran and ran and ran. “Thor i hope you know what your doing” 

    ☼-☪-☼

   as soon you headed out the castle, you used a burst of cold fog to send you into the sky. The bifrost! it’s being attacked by Hela’s knights and a large wolf. That’s where to go you guess and you another burst to send you towards the bridge. 

   the wolf was running towards a bunch of unarmed asgardians. You dropped onto the bifrost just as bruce came flying out the ship and landing face first “Bruce! This is why i said to keep your seatbelt on!” you shout. he’s lucky he’s mutated or he’d be dead. 

   the wolf sniffed Bruce for a few seconds before running your direction again. You form a blade and have it sending his way, but he wasn’t stopping. You look over and see a dark skinned man with long hair, Heimdall holding a sword “Nice to meet you i guess?” you spoke with nervous laughter.

   he looked your way and nodded “You too Lady Y/n” wait- how did he know your name. Nevermind that- both you and Heimdall hold your swords in ready position. The wolf is inches away when it suddenly stopped? You watch as it’s pull back and thrown to the other side. 

   Hulk!

   “Yes!” you shout, throwing your arms in the air. Hulk lets out a thunderous roar, hitting his chest. The wolf comes after him and they both fall off the bifrost. One problem down, two more to go. More knights begin to run towards the group and you and hemdall began to fight them off.

   you are so telling Tony about this!

   Heimdall gets hit in the knee and you rush over to help him when a rock guy come out of nowhere and blasts the knight into nothing. Wait- wasn’t this Thor’s friend- from back on Sakaar? “Hey man and woman. I'm Korg. This is Miek.” he introduces himself as a purple worm robot appears.

   you might need therapy after this one actually “We're going to jump on that spaceship and get out of here. Want to come?” he asked. He was rather polite. You smile lightly “We’d love too Korg, just after we kill these things.” You reply. You suddenly hear something off in the distance

   you and Heimdall turn to see a figure amongst the mist. Please don’t be Hela, please do not be Hela! Once the figure came to view you gasped. “Your saviour is here!” Loki shouts, standing on top of the landing pad. What a narcissist! A narcissist that you were in love with, but technicalities don’t count. 

   as the ship lands people of asgard begin to board “Did you miss me?” he says, you smile lightly. he had come back to save his people “Now everyone on the ship!” he commands and asgardians begin to flood in. Loki pushed through the people and made his way towards you and Heimdall. 

   “Welcome back. I saw you coming” Heimdall speaks. Loki purses his lips together and nods “Course you did” he says and looks at you “Surprised to see me, darling?” he says with a small smirk. You shake your head slowly with a smile “I was hoping you do the right thing. Your just boosting my ego”

   Loki grinned at you for a moment before pull out two asgardian blades “Will talk more in a bit” he sends you a wink as the Knights charge you all. You fly into the air and slam into the ground, causing a cold breeze to freeze about a dozen. You watch as they crumble and fall apart.

   “Didn’t know i could do that” you shrug and pull out your sword once again. The bright sky turned a dark grey as electricity struck the castle, causing a big explosion “Yes! Thor!” you shout. “Hopefully it killed that bitch, no offense since she is your sister and all” you say to Loki.

   he shrugs and slices a Knight in half “Unrelated note. You look very sexy while fighting” he smirks. You shake your head as your form multiple blades and send them at the Knights behind him. Loki goes wide eyed and watch about seven fall to the ground 

   “Me and you definitely need to talk later” his voice came out in a growl, which honestly sent shivers up your spine. You let out a chuckle as you watch Thor crash onto the bifrost “Why not now? Your brother seems to be keeping most of their attention”

   Loki raises a brow “You wan’t me to confess my undying love for you in the middle of war?” he questions. Well that was blunt. “You do have a thing for undying don’t you? Anyway, just tell me now. one of us may not live till the end of this war” you spoke. 

   you notice Loki’s face change to a grim one “Your not dying on me, i won’t allow it” he said, almost as it was a command. “Loki- be realistic. Now shut up and tell me” you say as you stab through a Knight “Okay- from the moment i laid eyes on you, i could tell you were like me” he says.

   “How so?” you question. “You question who you are and wonder if you belong anywhere. You think of yourself as a monster just as i do to my Jotun side. I wont ever question you and we can belong to each other. I do not see you as a monster Y/n. I see you as a goddess”

   wow- he could sure smooth talk a gal into anything. Jokes aside his words meant everything to you, he meant everything to you. You use your ice to put up a bubble around the both of you. Loki looks confused for a moment before turning to look at you. 

   “Just say you love me Loki” you chuckle. He smiles slightly and grabs your hands “Y/n, i am in love with you. I think that’s better” he quipped back. you both laugh for a moment “Do asgardians use the term boyfriend and girlfriend?” you say. 

   Loki shakes his head “We like to use more gender inclusive terms. So, Y/n would you like to be my forever and i yours?” you could have passed out right then and there. Also- how was asgard more woke then earth? That’s some bullshit right there.

   you break away from your thoughts and nod “of course i do” you say. Loki is unable to control his smile as he dips his head down. He was leaning when Boom! the bubble is destroyed. You smile and pull away “i guess you have to wait my prince” you tease, forming your sword again. 

   you could tell you touched a nerve because Loki squirmed a bit “Your such a vixen, darling. I can’t wait to have you all alone” he spoke in a low tone. You take a deep breath and try to compose yourself, but the thought of you and Loki- alone. It just took over your mind.

   “Can this fucking shit be over with! Hurry it the hell up Thor!” you shout as you jab your sword through two Knights and push them off the bifrost. Loki’s helmet fell as he was fighting one. You run and slide across the bifrost to grab it. Ha antlers- not right now!

   Once you do you chuck it at Loki who uses it to knock the Knight of his feet and push a sword through its stomach. Loki looks up at you and you grin at him “Teamwork, my prince” you say before bursting into the air “Stop calling that in public!” he yells. 

   Thor comes walking up too Loki, both breathing heavily. You drop down beside them “Your late” Thor says and Loki sighs “Your missing an eye” he replies back. Huh? You look at Thor and wave your hand over it, causing a cooling effect for him “Hopefully it’s stops the throbbing” you say.

   Thor nods and gives you a tired smile as Val walks past you three “This isn’t over” she breathes out. Well- she’s not wrong on that one. All four of you walk together. You all stop to catch your breath “I think we should disband the Revengers.” Thor spoke. 

   “Good. It was a shit idea” you comment, making Val stifle laughter. “Hit her with a lightning blast.” Loki suggests “we already did that and she rose from the dead still” you say. Thor looks at his brother in disbelief- he did just like shoot her into the sky and she’s walking. 

   “I just hit her with the biggest lightning blast in the history of lightning. It did nothing.” Thor gave his brother a know it all look. You all looked forward as Hela stalked towards you all “She is so fucking creepy” you say, forming a couple blades. 

   Val nods in agreement “We need to hold her off until everybody's on board.” she instructs. You all nod. You really didn’t want to fight this deer looking bitch. Antlers just run in the fucking family at this point. You stretch your back a bit. Your positive you have scoliosis after all this. 

   Thor shakes his head “It won't end there. The longer Hela's on Asgard the more powerful she grows. She'll hunt us down. We need to stop her here and now.” he says. “If she’s growing more powerful from just being here then how do we stop her” you look at Thor.

   Val nods along with you “She’s right, so what do we so?” she says, putting an emphasis on the world ‘what’ . Loki pauses and looks at Thor “I’m not doing get help” okay that was funny, no laughing right now though. Thor steps forward and glares at Hela before looking back at the ship of people boarding.

   he’s going to give a speech isn’t he?

   “Asgard's not a place, it's a people.-” there it is “-This was never about stopping Ragnarok...it was about causing Ragnarok.” he says, turning his attention towards Loki. “What’s Ragnarok?” you ask, expectanting no answer, but hey gotta love Val

   “It’s this big fiery demon that was literally made to destroy Asgard and everyone on it” she explains. At that moment you honestly thought about marrying her “Wait- You want to send a demon to destroy Asgard? Shit-” you say. 

   Thor walks over to Loki and places a hand on his shoulder “Go to the vault. Surtur's crown. It's the only way.” he says. Loki fights against himself for a moment before nodding “Bold move, brother. Even for me.” he admits before walking over to you. 

   “I’ll see you soon, darling” he says with a small smile. “Well aren’t going to kiss me then?” you question, his smile turning into a grin “No..i rather give you something to look forward too” he says before running off. What a dick. You look back towards Hela “Shall we?” Thor asked the both you and Val.

   Val looks at Thor and smiles lightly “After you” she says. Thor jumps into the air and destroys two of Hela’s blades. Hela kicks throw out the way as Val charged at her, but she ended being thrown too. Your turn. You burst into the air and throw four blades at her. She dodges them all and sends you away with Val.

   Thor picks up a Knights discarded sword and tries to plunge in into Hela, but she dodges that too. Thor turns to Heimdall and shouts “Go! Go now!” and Heimdall gets onto the ship. Hela throws a spear at him and it jabs right through Thor’s shoulder. 

   the ship starts to lift into the air and Hela notices. She uses big spikes from the ground and shoots them in, keeping the ship in place “I’ll handle that. You two keep her busy!” you shout and fly into the air. How were you going to do this? You watch as Knights begin to crawl the spikes and up towards the asgardians.

   you had to make a move now. 

   just as your about to land you hear..gunshots?! Since when her guns on Asgard? Just as you got close enough a man holding to large guns jump off of the ship and onto the bifrost, breaking the spike in the process. He lands on the bifrost and you jump down next to him.

   “What’s your name? Weren’t you working for Hela?” you question suspiciously. The man looks ashamed “My name is Skurge. Yes i did work for Hela temporarily, but i know now that she is not a true queen and i wan’t to make it right” he confesses.

   you smile and nod at him “Good for you dude. Now prove it!” you shout and charge into battle. You love a good redemption ark. You and your new friend Skurge fight off the Knights. “Hela!” he shouts, catching the goddess’s attention. Well fuck. 

   as you two fought off the last one Hela sent a blade in Skurge’s direction. You didn’t think. You should have thought before you acted, but you didn’t. You were just too nice to strangers. You jump in front of Skurge and catch the blade in your back, causing you to gasp out. 

   skurge looks at you in shock as you slowly drop to the floor. From a distance Thor and Val watch in horror as there comrade is smite down. “No!” Thor screamed, lighting bursting in every direction “Hela enough!” he shouts, standing up “if you want Asgard. It’s yours”

   Skurge moves you and pulls the blade from your back. Your vision became spotty “Loki?” you murmur as you look up “i’m so sorry” Skurge cried. Hela looked towards Thor “Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. You can't defeat me.” Hela says with a evil grin.

   Skurge watched the life drain from your body as it turned to ice. A statue of who you used to be cold and frozen over. “I’m so sorry ma’am” he breathes out as he touches your face. He felt so guilty. It should have been him is what he kept thinking over and over again.

   suddenly the Sakaar ship lands next to Skurge and Loki jumps out. His whole world came crashing down once he saw you. A frozen corpse. “She saved him so i stayed with her” skurge explains. Loki lifts a hand and waves him away, which is what Skurge does so. 

   Loki drops to his knees and touched your frozen skin “Even in death you are beautiful my love. I should have kissed you when you asked me too, but i just had to be cheeky” he says, tears forming down his face and falling onto your frozen body. 

   “No one can ever match your beauty, your skill, or your big heart and i will never love again. You taught me what it’s like to love and to be loved and i- i-” Loki broke down and let his tears fall like a waterfall. He was alone again. Now he would have to live his miserable life without you

    ☼-☪-☼

   you sat up, breathing heavily. You were in a castle. Thor’s castle. How? Where’s Hela? Where’s Loki. You push yourself off the floor instantly and look around. “You must be terribly confused” you heard a woman speak. You turn around and see a older woman with light auburn hair.

   “Who are you and where is everyone?” you snap at her, but she just smiles “My name is Frigga dear” she spoke kindly. You look at her in horror “You’re Loki and Thor’s mother- but....your dead. That means that i’m-” you almost gag on your own words.

   “i’m afraid so dear” she speaks and gives you a sad smile. “No! I have to get back! Loki is expecting me to be there. I have to help stop Hela!” you say. This couldn’t be happening “Ragnarok has already begun and Asgard is to fall any moment. Don’t you want to rest?”

   your whole life has been nothing but pain and hard work. You had never ‘rested’ a day in your life. As much as it sounded like a treat, you still had responsibilities “No. I chose to stay and fight Hela because Thor is my friend and i’m not giving up on him or Loki, Val, Bruce or the asgardians. 

   Frigga gives you a proud smile “That’s what i wanted you to say. I’ll bring you back” she says and rolls up her sleeves “You have to do something for me though” she spoke. You stepped towards her “Anything” he say hastily “Marry my son. Loki deserves it more then ever and so do you”

   you give your future mother in law a smile “Of course. How are you going to bring me back anyway?” you question. Frigga grans both your hands and smiles “Ancient magic that is far to complex. Now when i bring you back it will be with an asgardian soul” she says. You looked confused.

   “What does that mean?”

   “It means you’ll be an asgardian along with your abilities.”

   you smile lightly. You could live as long as Loki now and truly be together forever. “Okay, i’m ready” you say and she nods “Tell my sons that i love him and tell Loki that choosing to be his mother was one of the best days of my life and Thor...that he doesn’t have to rule Asgard to be a great leader.”

   you nod, locking the words into your memory. Frigga starts mumbling a spell and you feel your body become lighter and lighter until you feel like you pass out.

    ☼-☪-☼

   Loki lifts his head up from your body as it starts to defrost. His eyes go wide as underneath the ice is your beautiful face. Your eyes shoot open and you fly into the sky. Your whole body emitting a white and blue aura. You flew towards Thor, Val and Hela. 

   Thor puts his hands on his hips and points behind him “No i know, but he can” he says and Surtur comes crashing through the castle. As Hela stares at her downfall Val takes the opportunity to pierce her sword through Hela’s chest. Your form an ice spear and launch yourself down, stabbing it straight through her.

   Thor sends and burst of electricity and you back away, slowly landing on the bifrost. It was over. Hela was doen for and you wanted to leave this retched planet. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   you walk through the ship until you find Thor and Loki in one room. Loki was holding a cap to a liquor bottle. “Hello boys” you spoke and they both turn to look at you “Lady Y/n, the girl who cheated death! No wonder you and Loki are perfect for each other” Thor announced, bowing at you.

  you smiled and walked over to a loveseat, Loki following suit and sitting next to you “Yeah uh- i didn’t cheat anything. I actually died” You said “But how, your right here?” Loki says, grabbing your hand “I came back with a little help of a certain someone” you say. 

   Thor walks over and sits down across from you two “Who?” he questions and take a sip of his drink “Frigga” you said, making the brothers look at you in shock “Mother, how?” Loki asked. “I woke up in the castle and she was there. She said she could bring me back and gave me a few things to say”

   both boys inched closer “She said she loves you both and Thor, you don’t have to rule asgard if it isn’t what you wan’t. Your still a great man and Loki” you turn your body to face your forever “one of the best days of Frigga life was choosing to be your mother and love you like her own blood”

   Loki’s face said just about enough as well as Thor’s. They both looked at there laps, smiling to themselves. “I’m also asgardian now” you say, grabbing a drink from the table. Thor drops his glass on the floor, smashing it into tiny pieces. That was a nice cup. 

   “What!?”  they both shout. 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Loki had found you both a room on the ship with a perfect view of the unknown outside. You were currently looking through it now, thinking. A pair of arms wrap around you from behind “I still owe you a kiss” Loki breathes out. You smile brightly and turn around in his hold, facing him. 

   “I believe you do...my prince” You say at the end just to tease him. Loki growls under his breath before pressing his lips to yours for a hungry kiss while his hands pulled you flush against him. You thought your first kiss would be sweet and short, but Loki’s was needy and passionate. 

   you both pulled at each others clothing, wanting it off but not having the strength to pull away and do so. After a minute of two Loki pulls away “I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks” he admits, making you chuckle. “Good thing you have me all night then, my forever. i love you Loki of asgard”

   Loki grins at your words and kisses your forehead “i love you as well, Y/n, my forever” 

    ☼-☪-☼

   Kody- I want no one to talk about how long it is, it hurts to even mention. 

[katatonicimpression]

Iceman!

do I like them:

Yes! Look, I know he's an annoying dork but have you considered that I too am annoying and I too am a dork?

5 good qualities:

He's smart. Smarter than people assume because he's always saying the dumbest things

He's kind.

He's creative, he makes sculptures and they're really good. He's an artist.

Connected to the previous one but he is just absurdly talented with his powers.

He's brave. Granted he is nearly impossible to kill so he doesn't risk a lot that often, but he's courageous as hell.

3 bad qualities:

His jokes suck and his fashion sense is terrible.

He shoots himself in the foot a whole bunch.

He's presumably a not great boyfriend...? Like, all his relationships fall apart and its not just the straight ones. Also he's lonely, almost always single and he HATES it. So what's going on there? By all accounts, he's a catch: he's nice, got broad interests, he's got money and he's hot - it's very clear that in universe he's supposed to be very attractive. So what gives? I think he's maybe just not all that much fun to be in a relationship with, probably because he's rarely that genuine with anybody.

favourite episode/etc:

I really love his storyline in the 90s with Emma taking over his body and the fall out from that. It's the one with the very blatant subtext that falls just short of saying he's gay because they weren't allowed at the time. Also it dives into his relationship with his dad which I find genuinely really upsetting. I also genuinely loved his 2017 and 2018 solo series.

otp:

Pyro (St. John Allerdyce). I can't help it I'm sorry.

brotp:

I like the Amazing Friends (Firestar & Spiderman), and his friendships with the O5, Kitty and Rogue. I also really like him with Bishop and I wished we'd got more of that in Marauders (although that one could easily not be platonic.. that said I feel like he's a bit too nerdy to be Bishop's type, but then again he's probably chaotic enough... who knows?).

ot3:

I actually did write him, St. John and Shinobi as having had a (non-explicit) threesome for some unknown reason...? It made sense at the time, and Bobby and Shinobi still had their situationships with Christian going on in that fic. Just one big poly disaster.

notp:

I don't think I gave any big "no way not ever" ships for Bobby, aside from not liking the straight ones for obvious reasons. I will say I'm not on board with him and deadpool..? I also don't really care about Christian as yet.

You think you've got problems. My fave's canon boyfriend is a bit boring. Think about that.

best quote:

So he's got a bunch of one-liners obviously. I googled iceman quotes and found this on the list:

"I am pulling the most totally bizarre vibes off the others."

Idk made me laugh. Why does he talk like this?

I liked his speech to thor here:

And is "Maybe I am a loser?" moment is iconic. Also when x-corps is happening like half his dialogue is just him calling Sean a nazi which is honestly pretty funny.

head canon:

I think he's not particularly religious in terms of his actual beliefs and associates conversation about religion with his very conservative parents (his dad is Catholic and his mum is Jewish) so prefers to avoid the discussion. That said, I think he's really into family traditions and that sort of thing. He still does all the holidays with enthusiasm... probably too much enthusiasm

He has being paying very little attention to any of the big events on krakoa (ToM, Inferno). Like, he's a few days out of the loop on events and isn't entirely sure what's going on but assumes they'll sort it out. I think he likes a lot of things about the island and the people there, but I don't think he's bought into it really. It's just another wacky stage of his life for him

He's often genuinely surprised by how alive his ice golems are and is secretly a bit freaked out by it

Despite being a teenager in the 60s, Bobby is clearly still under 35. With that in mind, I headcanon his music tastes as being very 80s and early 90s. There's a lot of synth pop in there, and I feel like he got really into Alanis Morissette.

[stefciastark]

Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Father ~ Webpril Day 9

A/N: Once more at 4a.m, here we are. Here's a short blurb of some BAMF protective Tony swooping in to the rescue, and Peter is probably really going to need a hug after all this is over.

~Read on AO3

~Read on FFN

Peter was in way over his head.

He was first drawn to the scene after the sounds of screams and screeching tires echoed up and down the streets of Queens. From what he could see from where he had been perched, the chaos extended across the river into the Upper East Side of Manhattan as well.

The Avengers were hard to coordinate lately. Since Tony and Steve’s relationship deteriorated into nothing over the Sokovia Accords, all of Earth’s crises were diverted to whoever was closest or didn’t hate each other at the time. This meant that Clint and Natasha, who were still on good terms despite being on opposite teams, worked together frequently sans the rest of the team. Steve preferred to work alone, and Thor and Bruce were currently unaccounted for on Earth. Peter knew there were others involved during the whole debacle, but his knowledge on their actions or whereabouts were unknown, and he didn’t particularly pay much attention to it.

He just missed the days of the ‘Stark Internship’.

Because then there was Tony. Tony worked a lot with Rhodey, and Peter tried to be understanding despite his disappointment that Rhodey was chosen more often more often as his wingman than Peter. He had quickly gone from being Tony’s prodigy “whiz kid” to being the forgotten third wheel.

Peter was beginning to think that maybe Tony’s initial offer to join the Avengers - and after that initial offer for one of the most incredible suits Peter had ever seen - wasn’t a ‘test’ after all. To put the cherry on the metaphorical cake, contact with Happy had gone from sporadic to non-existent, and he’d never felt more isolated. He couldn’t help but feel as if Tony and Happy had made a separate ‘group chat’ and just simply didn’t include him.

And that brought Peter back to the present, slinging through the alleys and main roads of Queens with a reckless sense of vigour that Peter was sure the Hulk would be proud of.

Whatever hell spawn had made its way to Earth was fast. Scarily fast. Peter knew he could outmanoeuvre most threats he faced as the Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman, but as Spiderman, the current Pseudo-Avenger, he didn’t particularly feel as if he were ready to take on massive city-levelling threats. Well, he might have been, but definitely not while operating solo.

The alien – Peter couldn’t believe that that thing was even realand that the word alien was even usable now in his daily language – looked had the appearance of a humanoid apple wearing a frog. He couldn’t really come up with any other description; what he could see of their faces was a rich darker shade of red, not dissimilar to a Juici brand apple. Where the ‘frog’ component came in was the slimy looking finish to their armour, or if it wasn’t armour it was at the very least incredibly dense and near impenetrable skin. That, and their cries to war sounded almost exactly like a deeper and much more intimidating croak of a Bull Frog. Thanks to biology, his first real encounter with aliens was now stained with that association.

Web grenades had become a new favourite of his as of the last twenty minutes. After some tweaking of settings and trial and error, he had managed to add ‘motion triggered’ and ‘taser’ to its list of associated commands and made it more of a web mine than a web grenade. The moment one of the ‘Apple Frogs’ sped past the sensors, off it would pop, and the threat would be both contained and neutralised.

It worked well up until the reinforcements came. He came to the realisation quickly that these were only the dispensable foot soldiers of the invading army. He came to the realisation when his height was no longer comparable to the ‘Apple Frogs’, and instead he felt dwarfed.

Peter’s brain finally caught up with reality, and he truly understood that what he was seeing was in fact actually happening and not some sort of VeggieTales fever dream.

Catching the corner of the roof of a tall block of apartments, his knees buckled on landing, his breath coming in harsh gasps. This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real. Peering down over the side of the rooftop, he watched as what looked like the Warlords of the army mindlessly murdered their own in their quest for destruction. He had to look away as he saw one of the foot soldiers get caught in the crossfire between a glowing orange – and obviously alien - beam of fire that shot out from one of the side streets and the axe of the hulking invader closest to his position.

He swallowed back the sick feeling in his stomach, the gruesome memory burned into his retinas. He’d never seen a body contort that way, and the smell of singed flesh was inescapable even from within the mask.

The trembling in his body gave him the impression that he were sitting in a massage chair, but the experience was anything but pleasant. He wondered faintly if he were having a panic attack, but everything from his mind to his body had gone numb. The Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman was not equipped to deal with world-ending catastrophes.

The high-pitched scream of a woman and the distressed cries of a child managed to delay the sheer terror that pumped its way through his blood and into his bones. Standing up on unsteady legs, he quickly found the source; there was the silhouette of a young family escaping for their lives, the woman holding her young child – no more than six months old - on one arm while she slung her shoulder under the arm of her husband, supporting his weight as they ran, his ankle obviously broken.

Without a second thought, Peter dove into the streets below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Red blips were popping up like razor burn on his HUD. Weaving through the streets of Manhattan, Tony felt himself unsurprised by the situation entirely. The first time aliens came to Earth – in New York no less – he had had a proper existential crisis, confronted with the reality that there was more out there. For it to happen a second time, however, was old news.

Tony had been notified by S.H.I.E.L.D that help was on the way, which meant that help would be there three hours after it was needed. That meant he had at least another forty-five minutes of mayhem left before the big guns were brought out, and he hoped against all hope that what was left of ‘Earth’s mightiest heroes’ would tuck their disagreements into their back pockets for a moment and come help prevent New York City from being terraformed into a brightly exposed mesa.

As quickly as the red blips had come onto the screen, they were decreasing in numbers rapidly, located mainly over the river into Queens. The small red dots quickly became slightly less pin-sized and became slightly more concerning-sized. Accompanied with these new and larger threats was the sick feeling of dread that hit Tony suddenly like a truck. Increasing the output in his repulsors, he shot like a red and gold comet over the East River.

On the edge between where Dutch Kills ended and Astoria began, Tony found the source of his inexplicably nauseating dread.

Peter was dangling almost ten feet in the air, the alien resembling a mouldy radish holding his kid’s neck between its thumb and forefingers. The left leg on Peter’s suit was torn and bloody, and the way he struggled against that thing made Tony’s blood boil.

Tony didn’t have much of a plan other than to do as much maiming and murdering of this creature as possible. With the temporary advantage of not having been seen yet, he lined up the perfect angle and sent the Hale-Bopp Comet shooting out from the palms of the suit, slicing through the arm of Peter’s assailant. A roar of pain echoed down the avenue, parts of the pavement below the monstrosity turning almost black with blood that fell with the intensity of a waterfall.

Shielding Peter’s fall, he deposited the young hero behind him on the footpath out of immediate harm’s way. Tony gritted his teeth, veins burning with a ruthless fire that was begging to be released. It was a good thing his target was right in front of him.

And then Earth’s trespasser spoke, voice deep and coarse with a texture like gravel that was deeply unpleasant to listen to and made Tony’s skin crawl. “And who the hell are you?”

Tony began to close the distance between them, each step deliberate with one goal in mind; shoot to kill. Rolling his shoulders back, he looked the alien combatant straight in the eyes and prepared to engage.

“Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Father. And nobody hurts my kid.”

A/N: IronDad to the rescue once again :) As for why Tony hasn't been in contact with Peter, I'm thinking it's likely that he wanted to give Peter the space to be the Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman he wanted to be. That, and becoming an Avenger and being closer to Tony would likely mean more exposure to risky situations and potentially near-death experiences, and Tony wants anything but that for his SpiderSon

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #228: TRIAL and ERROR!

February, 1983

AT LAST! The trial of Yellowjacket!

Its been over a month in-universe and about a year out of universe but here we are. The Trial of Hank Pym.

Although the time getting here was mostly farting around with other stuff while Hank sat in prison. Can you believe Scott Lang is the only person we see visit him?

The Avengers found time to experiment on an immortal child who thought jumping into the sun was a good idea but not to visit Hank?

I’m not saying that Jan should have had to put herself through that and Tony is clearly feeling too guilty over the whole thing. But Cap didn’t visit? Hawkeye didn’t? Mr. Lets Bust Hank Out?

Possibly they did off-screen. The Hank arc has been kind of suffering from Shooter’s inability to balance writing and EICing. I feel that if redone, there would be more to the arc.

Anyway, the trial!

We skipped the first two days. Its the third day of the trial now.

The graphic guy went above and beyond for that Sad Composited Hank graphic.

I like the AN AVENGER’S DARKEST HOUR thing.

I also like the setup for recapping the necessary details.

Ex-Avenger attempts to heist the government would be big news so all the information is conveyed as this news report.

INCLUDING COURTROOM SKETCHES

God, that’s good.

That’s good comicing. Amazing.

Look at Thor in a courtroom sketch. Superb.

Look at that cheesy graphic for the coverage. Does anybody in Marvel even use a domino mask?? Everything about this is amazing.

People may say that Frank Miller revolutionized using media talking heads for social commentary in his comics. Maybe. Maybe so. But how many courtroom sketches did he include? Huh?

So apparently the reason why we’re on day three of the trial is that days one and two were entirely debates over whether Hank was even fit to stand trial.

I’d’ve thought they would get that out of the way ahead of time.

And Hank wants his day in court. So who was arguing he wasn’t fit to stand trial? The prosecution?

Apparently, the prosecution tried to argue that Hank’s history as a hero made his crimes more heinous, as a legal argument.

Which, uh? Um? Uh?

The defense objected that this was prejudicial but they were overruled.

The news recap ends when She-Hulk turns off the television angrily for reminding her of her legal career.

She-Hulk: “Leeches! I haven’t met Henry Pym, but he can’t be the creep they’re making him out to be! And that prosecutor -- ! I know it’s his job, but do they all have to be sanctimonious?! I hated that when I was a practicing attorney, and I don’t hate it any less since I’ve become She-Hulk!”

Reminds me that her nemesis in her original Savage She-Hulk book was an Assistant DA called Buck Bukowski who was a real sexist douche.

He mellowed out over the course of the book, mostly by learning that a death he blamed She-Hulk for was sorta his fault, but I wonder if she left LA so she wouldn’t be tempted to throw him out to sea.

She-Hulk is also still super bored (in New York??) and wanders downstairs to see if anyone is up to anything interesting.

Downstairs in the gym, she finds that the Caps are training.

The Captains America and Marvel.

Cap(tain America) is doing some combat training with Captain Monica Marvel.

This will not be at all confusing to have them on the same team.

Anyway, this training sequence is amazing so lets just have it all:

Cool stuff, Caps.

The training has to be cut short because Cap(tain America) has a prior commitment but still good stuff.

She-Hulk applauds Captain Marvel’s showing but Marvel waves it off as thanks to Cap(tain America)’s training. Which Cap(tain America) waves off as thanks to her being a quick study.

Its like a self-perpetuating modesty loop in here.

Cap excuses himself to go to his prior engagement.

Captain Marvel: “It’s easy to see why he’s called a living legend! He’s very good! And his grasp of strategy is second to none!”

She-Hulk: “Yeah, he does pretty well for a guy with no powers, but I could take him!”

What a this era of She-Hulk thing to say, She-Hulk.

Captain Marvel tells She-Hulk hey maybe not! Cap has stood up to some pretty tough customers, including Jen’s cousin the Hulk.

Which She-Hulk didn’t know!

Y’know, after Bruce (or recently implied to be Joe Fixit Actually??) started Jen’s origin story, the Hulk has not much further relevance in the Savage She-Hulk book. Jen doesn’t even give any indication that she’s keeping up with his exploits.

Not surprising, since the book was trying to be its own thing. And Jen’s life just starts to implode not very far into her solo so she doesn’t have time to also worry about Bruce.

Captain Marvel mentions that all of Cap(tain America)’s run-ins with the Hulk are recorded in the Avengers computer archives and She-Hulk concedes she should give that a look.

Hey, she finally has something to do in New York!

Captain Marvel also tells She-Hulk that she’s going to head home.

She-Hulk: “You have a place in the city?”

Captain Marvel: “Not this city... New Orleans.”

She-Hulk: “NEW ORLEANS?!?”

Captain Marvel: “Sure! It’s a snap to commute -- when you can travel at the speed of light! Take care!”

And then she nyooms off!

NYOOM!

It’s a good point! I hadn’t considered it but yeah, Monica can just commute. No need to uproot her life to become an Avenger.

I guess that’s why the decision was so easy for her to make.

She-Hulk is still at the window, wishing she could lightspeed to Malibu, when Thor and Janet arrive from court.

Janet thanks Thor for coming to court with her. Which he says no big to because “Time given to one’s friends is well spent. Would that I had given more time to poor Henry before this.”

You’re a cool guy, Thor.

The mention of Hank has Jan break down a little.

Jan: “Oh, Thor! Why has this happened to us... to all of us? We’re Avengers!”

Thor: “But still we are human -- aye, even a ‘god’ such as I! None of us are immune to wounds of the spirit. We err... we misunderstand. Janet? Is there anything more I can do?”

Jan: “No! No... I’m all right! We mustn’t dwell on the past. The future’s all that matters!”

Thor: “But...”

Jan: “I don’t want to talk about it anymore!”

Geez.

We’ve seen how affected the Avengers have been by what Hank has done and what they think he has done. We’ve seen Jan is more messed up by it than the smile she puts on lets on.

But the plaintive questioning of how this could be happening to the Avengers still hits hard.

Thor respects Jan’s wish to end the discussion to the frustration of She-Hulk who has been watching this conversation from the upstairs window.

She’s frustrated that Jan won’t just let it out, that Thor just let the subject drop.

She-Hulk: “It’s that blasted Avengers’ tradition of ‘respecting the privacy of members’ personal affairs.’ The founding members carry it too far! Can’t they see how it hurts them? And Jan -- ? Why does she hold in all that grief and heartache? Why doesn’t she cry and scream and shout and get it out of her system?!”

Jen and Jan are two very different people!

But She-Hulk, and Hulks generally, are about letting your feelings out. And Jan van Wasp has long been about playing the flighty sprite.

I’d crack joke about She-Hulk being this invested in the drama of the Avengers already but Jan is her friend. They presumably went car shopping together.

And She-Hulk has very few friends and almost zero female friends. Her one female friend died in a convoluted car accident and then She-Hulk mostly had a male supporting cast. Thank goodness she’s here on the Avengers with its two whole other women.

Meanwhile, at Stark International, Cap(tain America) has come to pay a visit.

He hasn’t been able to reach Tony in days. And Tony’s secretary told him that Tony has locked himself away in his private lab and that he doesn’t want to see anyone.

But if he didn’t want to see anyone, he should have thought twice about making it so that the security system will let in any Cap that flashes an Avengers ID.

Cap is particularly worried because of that nasty argument they had about Tony dating Jan. Tony has been pretty down since they broke up and Cap doesn’t want to see him fall apart like Hank did.

And.

Tony is. Doing. Maybe not okay.

He’s sweating a lot and unshaven and monomaniacally focused on a project.

Cap finds him holding up an enormous piece of machinery and doing SCIENCE.

This is the final evolution of Tony’s guilty conscience regarding Hank Pym.

Iron Man: “Remember how Moondragon used her mental powers to mess with our heads? Well, it’s my theory that she’s responsible for Hank’s recent troubles! I aim to prove that with this cerebral scanner! This baby should tell us whether or not Hank did the crazy things he did because of some outside mental influence! I hope I’m right!”

I mean, he raises a fair point! I don’t think its the case because what would it have benefited Moondragon to make Hank do what he did? And if its an inadvertent thing, she mind controlled a lot of people when the roster change-up was happening back in #211 so why did only Hank get affected? Plus, it doesn’t really match up with what both Hank and Jan have been saying about his behavior deteriorating before then.

But, Tony is going to Tony. And he, like many fans and writers and editors, just want a simple nonsense explanation that can make a distressing thing go away.

Cap points out that the ginormous machine can’t exactly be dragged down to the courthouse but this is just the prototype. Tony is going to have a miniaturized version ready by Monday.

Cap: “I see. Tony, how long have you been up?”

Iron Man: “I don’t know... 30... 40 hours, maybe. What difference does it make?”

Cap: “It makes plenty! You’ve had some rough sledding lately... You can’t keep on driving yourself this way!”

Iron Man: “But I have to do something for Hank. I feel that I let him down... In so many ways.”

Cap: “You can’t help him if you kill yourself in the process!”

Tony is going to Tony. I think that in some ways he might have a more overdeveloped guilt complex than Peter Parker or Matt Murdock.

For Reasons, I’ve taken a look at how things are going in the Iron Man book around this time and oof. Poor Tony.

Over in Leonia, New Jersey, Vision and Scarlet Witch are watching the trial coverage on the news and-

Okay.

1.) How do you make watching the network news so moody and dramatic, Vision? Do you ever actually relax?

2.) Do you two just wear your costumes around the house? Surely you must have other clothes? Vision? Do you have other clothes?

Some other stuff is that Wanda has been holding up Jan and Hank as the ideal marriage so this whole thing has been weirding her out. Although Vision has had a less rosy opinion of it, having been there for it with all of the marrying the split personality nonsense involved.

Although I don’t know why issue #68 is referenced. I don’t think that had anything to do with anything. Issue #60 is where the wedding happened.

Bet whoever put that caption wishes they had access to the internet.

I kind of wish we got more stuff like earlier, got to see Avengers not currently on the team and other heroes that worked with Hank Pym reacting to his disgrace exit from the team and then arrest. Wish we could have had Vision and Wanda try to visit him in jail.

Meanwhile, Long Island Sound.

A LOCATION OF EVIL

A suited man arrives and knocks on 13308 McKinley.

He is Dr. Chen Lu and he is expected.

Moonstone/Dr. Karla Sofen meets Dr. Chen Lu at the door and shows him in to the secret science basement where Egghead is running an experiment with the latest scientific equipment that can be begged, borrowed, or stolen.

I’m figuring... mostly stolen? Right? Like Egghead’s plan was to steal all the resources he needed? Because, ugh Effort?

Moonstone interrupts Egghead to let him know Dr. Chen Lu has arrived and Egghead is thrilled! He rushes from his seat to shake his hand.

And the sentiment is returned by Dr. Chen Lu who is eager to join Egghead’s project.

Y’know, Egghead is a jerk and is stealing all of his resources but his project will hugely improve medical science and he’s getting criminal scientists off the street and into some actual science jobs they can be excited about.

Dr. Chen asks how Egghead isn’t dead because he was pretty sure he was told Egghead was dead. And Egghead sure has a tale to tell!

In Defender #43, Egghead set up Cobalt Man to reach critical mass and explode to distract the Defenders so he could steal a magical star. When Cobalt Man found out, he was pretty pissed and decided to blow up Egghead.

Egghead: “We had a bit of a falling out, you might say... and he ended the situation most dramatically. Witnesses actually assumed we’d both perished. In actuality, I had been teleported by an experimental mechanism to relative safety in the New Jersey swamps... and unlike death, one can usually return from the state of New Jersey!”

Damn, Egghead! Criminal genius that you are, you’ve found the only New Jersey joke I’ve ever laughed at! Fiend!

I think its the glasses adjusting what does it.

Anyway, Egghead’s and Dr. Chen’s cool conversation gets interrupted by Tiger Shark and Shocker bursting through the ceiling fighting.

Beetle flies in after them and apologizes for the mess but says ‘really Shocker had it coming, man, fuck Shocker.’

Beetle and Moonstone jump in to separate the two.

Hey, you might be wondering how the Masters of Evil are out of jail when last time we saw them was getting arrested after attacking the Avengers like dumbasses?

Check that panel where Iron Man is lifting a really heavy thing. There’s a news broadcast about a bunch of prison escapes. Good job on the same issue setup, Stern!

Shocker complains that Tiger Shark called him a two-bit hood but Tiger Shark says in his defense that Shocker IS a two-bit hood (Not inaccurate...) who nearly screwed up the isotope heist. But Egghead says that Shocker is an important part of the operation.

Then Tiger Shark notices Dr. Chen Lu and says a slur.

C’mon, guy. Don’t be like that.

Dr. Chen Lu: “Speaking without thinking seems to be second nature to you, Tiger Shark. In the interest of our future partnership, I shall excuse the insult to my race... this time! But I warn you, do not use that word in my presence again, or you shall answer to -- THE RADIOACTIVE MAN!”

Tiger Shark hurriedly says that obviously he didn’t mean to offend. Because Dr. Chen Lu Radioactive Man fwooshed into his green skin (dammit comics whats with you and Asian people and green skin?) radioactive form and costume.

But with Radioactive Man on the team, the Masters of Evil are finally complete and ready for the next step of EGGHEAD’S BOLD PLAN.

Meanwhile, Hawkeye returns to his apartment from his day job, kind of looking a steady paycheck in the mouth. Sure the big wad of bucks is nice but its sooo boring. Thank goodness he has Avengersing to keep things exciting.

He then sings a short bit about “Best of both worlds -- !” because Hawkeye.

Hawkeye sees the news broadcast about the Hank Pym trial and even though he hasn’t been called to testify (because he wasn’t part of the team when Hank was caught with his hands in the government’s cookie jar) he figures what the heck, he’ll go to the trial anyway to show moral support.

And he does! In full costume!

In fairness, so are Thor and Captain America.

I guess Captain America and Hawkeye don’t have publicly revealed identities. But they couldn’t have thrown a suit on Thor?

Please put Thor in a suit. For reasons.

She-Hulk and Wasp are wearing nice court clothes.

Although She-Hulk seems uncomfortable in her nice court clothes.

(By the by, She-Hulk showing up at all makes Hawkeye warm up to her a little, since he figures that in her own way she cares about being an Avenger as much as he does.)

By the way, notice who wasn’t in that picture? Hawkeye leans over to whisper to Cap where is Iron Man? Annnnd Cap thinks maybe he just got wrapped up in his cerebral scanner project.

At this point in the trial (day 4), Hank has finally been called up to the stand to testify on his own behalf.

So, of course, given Hank Pym’s luck, the courtroom explodes.

What a dynamite conclusion to this arc!

The Masters of Evil (Moonstone, Radioactive Man, Tiger Shark, Shocker, and Beetle) jump into the court through the exploded ceiling, grab Hank Pym, have Shocker blow up the load bearing wall, and then run out while the Avengers are distracted holding up the entire ceiling!

An action scene fast enough that I can believe, yes, the Avengers didn’t have time to react to it before it happened.

But Thor is strong enough to hold up the ceiling, so Wasp orders Cap to get the crowd to safety and has She-Hulk and Hawkeye follow her to go after the Masters.

Cap: “Jan’s really coming into her own as group leader! Even Hawkeye’s snapping to at her orders!”

Good. I’m glad that people keep telling me that Wasp is doing a good job as Avengers leader.

Seriously. Given the way that the Avengers book handles teamwork and the idea that the Avengers even have a leader sometimes, I’m glad that the book is explicitly conveying that Wasp is doing good.

Hawkeye net-arrows Tiger Shark, She-Hulk tackles Radioactive Man, Wasp confronts Beetle, and nobody confronts Shocker because its just Shocker.

Beetle scoffs at Wasp trying to stop him but has to eat his words pretty soon. Her Wasp stings being souped up in this recent stretch of comics hasn’t stopped being a thing.

Beetle: “Ow! Maybe I was the one who spoke too soon! Even with my armor, I can feel a little of the Wasp’s bio-stings! If I can’t shake her, she might blow my micro-circuits!”

Very glad that Wasp continues to be an effective fighter in her own right and not just the distraction ‘fly around and pester people.’

She-Hulk just throws Radioactive Man out of the panel, mocking him for being green as her without any of her sweet moves.

Tiger Shark wants another go at She-Hulk after the way she stomped him in #222 but.

Oops guess I shouldn’t have mocked Shocker. Since he was ignored, he can sneak up behind She-Hulk and use HIGH INTENSITY VIBRO-SHOCKS to rattle her bones to dust.

Except, no. I should have mocked Shocker, a little.

Because even though the HIGH INTENSITY VIBRO-SHOCK rattles She-Hulk so that she chatters out “T-t-think a-a-again, y-y-you w-w-walking q-q-quilt!”, she grabs Shocker’s hands and holds him up in the air for Hawkeye to short out Shocker’s gauntlets with a couple of magno-volt arrows.

Shocker crumples, confused because one of the other Masters was supposed to be covering Hawkeye.

Radioactive Man tackles She-Hulk so She-Hulk just belts him away.

So Radioactive Man concedes, well, okay, She-Hulk is stronger than him. But brute force and being green aren’t the extent of his powers. He’s also radioactive, radioactive. 

He hits She-Hulk with a controlled burst of gamma rays, which shifts her back into Jennifer Walters.

Hey, Jen! First time you’ve appeared in this book in this form.

She’s less than pleased. In fact, she starts screaming “No! Not this!!” and begging someone to help her.

Thankfully, the Masters put her out of mind as not a problem anymore.

And the dominoes fall.

Tiger Shark smacks Wasp out of the air, freeing Beetle to blast Hawkeye. And nobody can stop Moonstone from nerve pinching Hank Pym and pulling him into a truck.

Thor and Cap run out of the courthouse, presumably having gotten everyone to safety.

Thor: “Ho, villains! You’ve not won the day yet! Not as long as a single Avenger stands!”

Thor do what Thor do and what Thor do is throw Mjolnir.

Exceppppt its at Radioactive Man and Radioactive Man can still deflect Mjolnir with energy fields. Radiation can do that. Mjolnir doesn’t exist in real life so we can’t prove that radiation can’t do that.

Radioactive Man deflects Mjolnir right at Captain America. He gets his shield up in time but it still knocks him on his ass.

The Masters all book it into the truck while the Avengers get to their feet.

Wasp orders Hawkeye to shoot out the tires to the truck. But before he can and before it can be fruitless, a getaway truck explodes out of the truck and flies off more quickly than the Avengers can chase.

And by “the Masters all book it into the truck” I mean, “except Shocker” because they ditched him.

With the Masters escaped, Wasp turns on the shocked Shocker and rips off his mask and demands he tell them where the Masters are going.

But the shocked Shocker is too shocked to answer. He seems out of it, really.

So Wasp changes the question. Who is behind this? Why did they want to kidnap Hank Pym?

Shocker: “Why? It... it was his idea! Dr. Pym’s idea... He arranged for us to free him!”

DUN DUN DUUUUU- no wait we know thats not it

whats your game shocker

Sometime later, Hank Pym wakes up in Egghead’s lab. And, of course, immediately leaps up to kick the shit out of Egghead as soon as he sees him.

Alas, Tiger Shark holds him back.

Egghead: “Don’t restrain him too tightly, Tiger Shark! He’s of no use to us injured!”

Hank Pym: “I’ll ‘use’ you, Egghead! You’re responsible for ruining my life! You manipulated me into stealing that government adamantium... and set me up, when your scheme failed! You’re mad if you think you can make me help you now!”

Egghead: “Pish-tosh!”

Good rejoinder, Egghead.

God, this also cracks me up.

Egghead says that he’s in the middle of a great experiment and that he needs the world’s greatest biochemist, Hank Pym.

Hank is still on the ‘why the hell do you think I’ll help you, I hate you so much.’

So Egghead has the tv turned on.

Anchorman, Non Burgundy: “... Authorities were stunned by the news that Dr. Pym had planned his own abduction! The Avengers refused to comment on the Shocker’s confession, but polygraph experts confirmed --”

Egghead explains that Shocker was a patsy. His gauntlets were secretly rewired with special circuits that brainwashed him into believing what Egghead wanted him to. So thoroughly that it fooled a lie detector.

Egghead: “As far as the world is concerned, Henry, you are now most assuredly a criminal. No one will believe otherwise. Not the police... not even your former friends. You have no one to turn to in this world... except us! Join the Masters of Evil, Henry! We will give you a new life!”

Hank Pym: “All right... I’ll do it!”

DUN DUN DUN!!

Wow, so I guess Egghead wasn’t just being petty. He was also systematically destroying what little was left of Hank’s life to force him to work on SCIENCE project with him.

Proving his innocence and ‘getting his dignity back’ was all Hank had left to him.

Geez, sucks to be Hank Pym!

Psst, follow @essential-avengers​? Like and reblog?

[praisethepizzagods]

WandaVision Theory

Okay so this contains some spoilers (mostly specculation really) from wanda vision so... spoilers below cut.

We have all seen the casting for Spiderman 3 & Doctor strange 2.... It includes people like: Andrew Garfield (spiderman) Tobey Maguire (Spiderman) Xochitl Gomez (America Chavez) Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool) Tom Hiddleston (Loki) Among others.... lots of universes being mixed here guys. So I have a theory... Blame my friend for this thing being birthed she had to listen to this as it came out. Peter/Pietro (since xmen pietro is called peter, but wanda knows his as pietro) maximoff is Loki, last we saw loki he had the tesseract and was fleeing, loki is trying to find out the state of the awvengers post end game, and yeah loki likes to fuck with thor & in the comics he lovveeesss just winding people up (God of mischief ffs), so he is trying to find out what the fuck is going on, he is curious about wanda's level of powers (like she is one of the most powerful mcu characters, hes gunna be curious), wanda as we know has a town hostage and is controlling everything, this is similar to avenegrs where loki wanted to rule earth, so hes seeing if she could be of use to him/try figure out a way to get his end goal. End of wanda vision season 1 - wanda looses complete control, she snaps. She breaks the multi verse because she has been believing this pietro is her pietro but with a different face... she finds out it is loki in pietros body which causes her to loose total control and snap a rift in the multi verse OR sword cause her so much stress, vision is questionign everything/realises what wanda did (Sees the footage maybe?) or she has to watch him die again and wanda is so torn over by emotion that she looses control, pietro/loki then realises that oh fuck this is about to go down and wanda uses her powers to try control more and either knocks pietro loki back into loki for or loki shifts just before to do a reveal, he may even try and fix this and help wanda because he knows intense powers and notice she is going insane????? But this ends in her bringing in all the spidermen into the MCU. Bringing deadpool with em. Bringing america chavez with them (She lives in a paralel universe and thats where she got her powers so wanda drags her into MCU because hey, she snapped). Doc strange 2 happens which is about the multi verse. Strange appears at end of wanda vision kinda like "Oh no...." like he's seeing what is about to happen and sees wanda is about to cause he doesnt see this coming,  So doc strange 2 is now begining wanda has lost control and merged all theses universes into one - sony,fox,the new characters universe etc etc etc are now all in the MCU universe there is many spider men now (Like into the spider verse) kidna like that level of how it happens they just got ripped into this reality. In spider man 3 this is also playing a part because all the spidermen are still here (Showing this could be a long winded issue/they cant get back to their universe because wanda doesnt know how she did it, doesnt want to do it/cant do it again) Back to doc strange 3 - this movie will be directly dealing with the immediate backlash of this, the many spidermen, deadpool, america chavez all appearing, strange realising what has happened, trying to fix this, loki also there because he doesnt even know whats happened but DAMN is he interested because THIS level of power.... thats interesting to him. Loki's disney+ series happens after the multi verse of madness/during it (like loki's show is bought up in it like "lokis fucking president?!?!?!" like thats another thing thats gone wrong from wanda's melt down and destroying the multi verse, and another thing for strange to to and do damage control on. wanda cant fix this, shes now gone fully off rails, if she watches vision die twice she wont be coming back from that we know. so strange is also trying to help her on how to use her powers as she never reallllly has had training, strange might know people who can help her deal with this insane amount of power. Strange cant fix this alone he needs wanda to try and fix this, and the issue could be a permenant one ( i recon it will be permenant and all wwhat phase 4 & 5 will be about) Doctor strange 2 sees them going between thesee multi verse's they have discovered (maybe strqange & wanda, maybe strange & wong, maybe wanda and someone else who knows... but they are trying to find out how far this damage has gone End of doctor strange is them realising this isnt a quick fix, the world has gone insane as there is all these new ones, ("WHY ARE THERE 3 SPIDER MEN!" - JJJ shouts (cause hey he was in the tobey mcguire spidermen ffs we get him with this package too) spider man 3 then happens & tom holland (The spider men will be refered to by their actors names) see's that um theres another spider man??? what the??? he finds him and they all find out they are the same spider man. This movie plays out similary to into the spiderverse but they dont all go at the end of it because this is a long winded issue. But... now we have america chavez, shes just been bumbling round the MCU being a hero cause she's here.... Monica as you rememebr from wanda vision has her internal sequencing rewritten each time she goes through the hex, this gives her powers cause she has gone through the hex so much at this stage in wanda vision.... So Monica = Photon America Chavez Cassie = Stature Kate bishop = Hawkeye Tom holland = Spiderman How did kate get here and Cassie? KATE So clint stepped down, hawkeye disney+ seems to be like fractions, clints training kate (maybe his family left after end game because jfc clint is probs a wreck, or clint didnt stop so hsi wife left.... maybe they live in iowa happily who knows) Clint was going solo for a while in newyork, when he met this other hawkeye (Hey maybe kate got dragged through the multi verse or maybe she was just a great archer rich kid in newyork who saw hawkeye had fucked off after the blip (maybe she was working during the blip, but towards the end? in comics she took hawkeye mantle while clint was off beign a depressed noodle and he then found out there was 2 hawkeyes and confronted ehr and agreed to train her so maybe somehting simialr to this is what happens in hawkeye) But anyway Clints training kate in new york and yeah shes good. CASSIE Scott after end game & Hope continue being antman and the wasp, but cassie eventually takes over the suit from them (Maybe something happens in antman 3 quantamania that means neither scott or hope can use the suits any more because it will tear them apart, like hank cant use the suits because it takes too much of a toll on his body now and he wouldnt surive it really...) so cassie has taken over the suits and is now operating under the code name stature. This then begins the next arc for the avengers now they have got people powered up, and atleast 1 person from this destruction of the multi verse (America chavez) but we may have more that are discovered over the course of phase 4 that were bought through with the multi verse. So, where does this go??? The young avengers is the next big arc.... Maybe wanda (&peter maximoff? not sure how that would work as young piettro (evan peters one) was from the 80s or something in xmen so is an adult not a kid like he is in wanda vision, which adds to my this isnt pietro but loki thing) But maybe wanda is leading them, maybe not. But the multi verse cant be fixed so they have these heroes now and the avengers kinda died after end game cause tony died and steve fucked off. Sam helps train but hes off with bucky alot too doing a buddy up thing together, but as sam is the new cap he also heads up this young avengers kinda as a mentor for them. Now... right now your pronbs thinking "Morgan stark though" Morgan has a suit... but morgan is still even in 2030 (hawkeye is 2025...) morgan would only be 7..... so she isnt really old enough.... But who else had an iron man suit in the comics? who may of got dragged through the multi verse? Enter riri williams aka iron heart. That takes us up to about end of phase 5 with the rise of the young avengers & champions maybe??? Hi and thanks for coming to my ted talk

[thorne93]

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 67)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count:4131

Warnings: Language, endgame plot, character death Song for this part: Memories- Maroon 5 Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

Masterlist for Unforeseen Chasm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The time had finally come. The time and places were gathered. Everyone knew their mission. Shannon would be staying behind since she was pregnant. Remy stayed behind as well, as there wasn’t much he needed to do.

You, Steve, Tony, Bruce, and Scott would return to New York in 2012. The rest had their various locations to head to, and you all started your way towards the platform. 

Your heart was racing. This was it. You’d finally get Loki back. You’d finally see him again. This was happening, it was very real. 

Shannon had gotten to the group a little behind but she wanted to make sure that they would be safe. She had pulled both of her men aside and told them she loved them and to watch each other’s back after that she pulled you aside and asked you to make sure those two goofs would be okay and that you needed to be safe too.

After everyone promised her they’d be safe, Steve began an inspired speech. 

“Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends... We lost our family... We lost a part of ourselves. Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams, you know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know. But it doesn't mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives. And we're gonna win. Whatever it takes. Good luck.” 

Everyone synced their time machine watches, and you all zapped off to your designated time. In a few seconds, you were in New York, with all of the Chitauri flying, causing destruction. All three men turned to you and gave you a look, to which you gave a sympathetic, humor filled smile. 

“Sorry,” you sheepishly said. 

“All right, we all have our assignments. Two Stones uptown, one Stone, down. Stay low. Keep an eye on the clock,” Steve reminded. 

With that, Bruce set off towards Bleeker street, and the rest of you headed towards the tower. 

Steve had to take the civilians entrance, but you and Tony flew up several stories, until you were at the same story as the Avengers from 2012, with all their weapons aimed at Loki and you.

Loki�� 

Your heart stopped at the sight of him. How did he somehow look better than you remembered? Even bruised, and brainwashed, he was still more handsome than you remembered. 

You knew this would happen. You knew you’d see him. You’d already seen him once in the past but now… again? You had more time now. 

Past-Shannon had just walked in, eyeing the two of you in the past. 

Good lord, you’d forgotten what you’d done to her. She was a bloody mess, her hair disarrayed, her cheeks still red from crying. She thought she’d lost Tony, and she thought she’d lost you as a friend. You weren’t looking too hot yourself. Your clothing was torn, tattered, your breathing labored as your hair stuck out in all directions. 

You and Tony stayed in the shadows, watching it unfold. You kept your emotions in check. The tears weren’t coming. Somehow, you knew, your mind overrode your heart. This was your one chance to get Loki back, and you couldn’t blow it, no matter what was happening. 

Tony suddenly said, “Uh, Mr. Rogers. I almost forgot that that suit did nothing for your ass.”

You rolled your eyes. “Really, Tony? We’re gonna talk about Steve’s--”

“No one asked you to look, Tony,” Steve retorted. 

“I think you look great, Cap. As far as I'm concerned, that's America's ass,” Scott said proudly, saluting.

“Can we focus up here?” you stressed to the team. 

For the next few moments, Scott and Tony were talking about Hydra and you were watching everything unfold. Past-you and Loki were put in handcuffs before Past-Steve said, “On my way down to coordinate search and rescue.”

To which, Loki transfigured like Steve to mock him before returning to his normal form and saying, “I mean, honestly! How do you think you'll be--”

Thor slapped the human muzzle on him and said, “Shut up.”

A big part of you wanted to laugh at his antics, you missed them so much. But you didn’t miss this version of you. This version was dark, scary, unstable, and selfish. 

You weren’t sure you were much better now, but at least you were a tiny bit more stable. 

Tony informed Scott it was his time to shine, and he shot him over to the Tesseract, where he landed on it. You glanced at Tony and nodded before he fell out of the window and hit his nanotech suit. You followed behind him, using your power to keep you elevated.

Tony and you got into suits that matched SWAT before heading into the lobby to watch the argument unfold between Hydra and the Avengers.. Past-Thor insisted that Loki and you would be answering to Odin, or at the very least the Avengers. 

Tony, into the coms, said, “All right, move it, Stuart Little. Things are getting dicey up here. Let's go.” 

You gave him a nervous glance, surprised that you could take your eyes off of Loki. 

Past Stark was still talking with Pierce. “I'm not gonna argue who's got the higher authority here, all right?”

Nervously, Scott asked, “You promise me you won't die?”

“You're only giving me a mild cardiac dysrhythmia.”

“That doesn't sound mild.”

The situation got hairier and hairier as Tony and Thor argued with Pierce and Hydra. Tony kept ordering Scott to  pull the pin, but he kept hesitating. 

Finally though, Scott pulled the pin, and Tony seized up, gasping for breath. It was hard to watch, but he dropped the case holding the Tesseract. 

After a second, present-Tony yelled for a medic, but then Scott pushed the case your way. Your eyes fell on the case as Tony grabbed it, but then your eyes drifted to Loki’s. His gaze met yours for a second before narrowing. You had a lot of gear on your face, but you knew even Loki would know your eyes. His gaze had been following that case though, and that worried you. 

But you had to go. You wanted to stay in this past, grab Loki, go far away, return when Shannon had cooled down, when she could understand. But you couldn’t. This timeline was done, you’d seen how it all played out. It was time to fix your current timeline and bring him back. 

You followed Tony as he said, “Good job. Meet us in the alley. I'm gonna grab a quick slice.”

“Pizza? At a time like--” you were asking, following along quickly before Hulk suddenly slammed open the door, knocking both of you back. The case opened and the Tesseract flew out. 

The blue cube hit Loki’s foot and your heart constricted.

No. 

You scrambled to get to the cube. If you could use your powers, you could’ve grabbed it, but everyone was armed and waiting for past-you to do something. If you so much as sparked, you’d risk jeopardizing your past-self. 

In all the commotion from Stark and Hulk though, Loki seized the moment in half a second, grabbing the Tesseract. He picked it up, looked at you with loving eyes, and past-Loki and past-you were standing in a portal. The two of you gave each other a look of adoration, and then you were gone in the portal.  

You went numb instantly. Loki and you had just escaped with the only way to get the real Loki back. 

But some small part of you was actually happy for this timeline. As selfish as it was, wherever the two of you were going, you wished them nothing but happiness.

But now you had a new problem, a very large problem. Where the hell were you going to get the Space stone?

Suddenly, Steve said through the coms, “Oh you gotta be shitting me.” 

“Steve?” you breathed into the coms. 

“Y/N, get up here. Old me thinks I’m Loki,” he said quietly before speaking to his past self. 

“Fuck,” you hissed. “On my way.” You escaped back into the stairwell, using your powers to fly to his location as soon as possible. You just lost the Tesseract, you couldn’t lose the scepter too. When you got there, you saw old Steve and current Steve fighting. Steve had sat the scepter case down. You picked it up and started to carry it off. “Let me know if you need me, Cap. I’ve got the scepter. I’m going to keep to the mission.” 

You continued walking as Steve took care of himself. You turned the corner and saw Shannon coming out of a room. For a split second, you were happy to see her, but then you realized this wasn’t your Shannon. This was Past-Shannon. This was the Shannon that just saw you throw Tony out a window. This was Very-Pissed-At-You-Shannon. 

You went to open your mouth to talk to her, but it only took her a fraction of a second to respond and fire her powers at you. 

“Y/N?!” She looked alarmed to see you standing there. “You're coming with me.” She blasted shots of electric shocks  at you to keep you from running off.

Her power stunned you, making you freeze, your entire body going rigid. Of course, this was Past-Shannon which was unstable, and she had your old powers. You were wiser now, a better fighter, and your powers had evolved. But you weren’t here to hurt Shannon. 

You dropped to your knees, making no sign to fight her. You held your hands up as she ran at you. “Shannon, no, please! Wait!” you pleaded. 

“No, Y/N, I’m not falling for your manipulations. Not again!” She threw a supercharged punch at you but missed as you moved lower. “How did you escape from your holding?” she grabbed you by the back of your neck and applied pressure.

In a swift movement, you knocked her hand and arm off of your neck, jumping to your feet as you held her hands down at her side. “Shannon, listen to me for two seconds. I’m not wearing the same clothes. I didn’t escape holding. I’m not fighting you.” 

You hoped being extra calm would get her to listen to you without causing any more of a scene. You hoped she would see you were being sincere.

“You want me to calm down?” She sounded livid and her eyes began clouding over. “You expect me to calm down when you're standing here acting like you are not violating your arrest?” The lights began to flicker and a strike of lighting hit one of the windows causing it to shatter. “You could have just used your illusion powers to change clothes.” Shannon slowly but strongly charged her arms where you were holding her.

Suddenly, the power she built up blasted you off of her. You went flying, the scepter falling out of your grasp. You rolled on the floor. You could’ve taken the blast, but you were trying really hard not to use your powers or get caught up in a fight. You groaned as she stalked over to you. “Peter Parker is your son!” you cried out, looking up at her. 

She stopped in her tracks, her face full of shock that quickly turned into a scowl. “H-how did you... That's not true!” she yelled at you, her eyes still milky with red swirling around. Her emotions were getting the better of her as the sky darkened. “You and I both know I can’t have kids, why would you make up such a lie!” Her eyes begin to change back. “I don’t even know a  Peter Parker.” She winced as she told that lie.

“I don’t have time for this, Shannon! How else would I know this? He’s your son. You had May be a surrogate. You and Tony saved your eggs and sperm, and you created Peter, that’s how he has his powers,” you stressed, slowly standing up. “Shannon, you know this is true. You know I can’t get inside your head. Loki has that power, but not me. You know I’m not lying. You told me this…” You made a face of uncertainty, but you needed her to stop and let you through. “You told me this at your cabin, that you live in with Bruce and Tony. You have another child, a daughter, named Morgan, and in my time, you’re pregnant with another child. Please… just let me through with the scepter. The Y/N that stands before you isn’t the same one that just invaded New York. She’s twelve years younger than I am. Look at me and tell you don’t see a difference. Look at me and tell me you don’t see a different person from the one that just fought you a flew floors up.” You stared at her, begging her with your gaze to just listen, hope, and believe you.

Shannon closed her eyes, took a deep breath and looked at you, really looked at you. She noticed just how tired you were, she could sense that there was a great amount of grief within you but also a sliver of hope. “W-why do I feel your grief? What happened?” She stuttered and moved to come closer to see your face. “I can feel it blanketed on you but there’s a tiny bit that isn’t.” She cocked her head and her eyes softened at you when she realized that you're telling the truth. “How…how are you even here? I thought that time travel was impossible.” Her heart told her to hug you and so she did, hoping to help to take away some of your pain with her powers.

Her hug breathed some life back into you and you felt some form of closure. Giving this past version of Shannon some sort of hope that you weren’t a monster coming to kill her. 

“It isn’t impossible. Tony and Scott Lang figured it out. Bruce helped build the machine,” you explained. “I know it’s hard to trust me. I get that. But the fate of the universe depends on me getting this scepter back to my time. I hope you can believe me or trust me.”

She pulled back hearing your word. “What happens in the future that requires you to get the scepter from my timeline?” She hoped she could get a better understanding of things. She hesitated asking the next question, but did so anyway. “Do.. Do we fix things? I mean between you and me in the future?” She looked up at you with hopeful eyes. “Is Peter happy in the future?” There were so many questions she wanted to ask but wasn’t sure if she would get answers.

Tears formed in your eyes at the mention of Peter. “Shan, uh… Peter… Peter’s part of the reason I need this scepter. But you and I…” You laughed slightly. “Yeah, things get fixed between us. It takes a bit, and it’s not easy, but we work through everything. You find out why I did what I did, and you understand it and forgive us.” 

She blanched, shrinking away from what you could possibly mean about needing the scepter because of Peter. What had he done? Was he in trouble, did he get taken or hurt? Her thoughts began to spiral. “I’m glad to hear we fix things. I would have hated it if we hadn’t.” She tried to conceal her emotions from her face.

You smiled past the tears. “No, no, you and I are good. More than good. We’re always there for each other. Through thick and thin,” you assured. 

Tears had made trails down her cheeks. “Good. That’s really good.” She bits her lip and looked you in the eyes. “Hey Y/N, did something bad happen to Peter for you to need to come here?” Her voice lowered slightly fearing the worst about what you would say.

You weren’t sure if you should tell her. Sure, this was a different timeline, but you didn’t want to break Shannon’s heart for something that might not even happen in her timeline. This Shannon didn’t deserve to suffer. 

“Everything turns out alright. You’ll see,” you assured, nodding. “I wish I could stay,” you said, your voice swelling with tons of emotion. “There are so many things I wish I could change about this moment in time. So many things I wish we could do together, do all over again. Just know that I never meant to hurt you. I love you. I did what I had to and I’m trying to save everyone. But I really have to go.” You looked at her with a pained expression.

She felt every single one of your emotions, the strongest was the heartbreak causing her eyes to water. “You’re right. I shouldn’t keep you from your mission.” She wiped her eyes and gave you a small smile. “Here, just please be careful?” She handed you the scepter but she sounded worried about you. “I know you’ll prove everyone wrong about what they think of you.” And with that she gave you one final hug and moved to the side for you to leave.

You grinned at her, blew her a kiss, and flew out of the window to meet the guys. As soon as you got there though, all three men were beyond upset. 

“Shit, the Tesseract,” you remembered. “What are we going to do?” you asked. 

Steve and Tony started thinking of other ways to get to the Tesseract. They seemed to concoct a plan where they could get more Pym Particles and get a shot at the Tesseract. 

“Where are you two going to go?” you asked, narrowing your gaze. 

“Trust me for once, will ya kid?” Tony requested with a smirk. 

“You’re not the one who has to face Shannon if I lose you in the past,” you retorted. 

“That’s fair,” he assessed with a bob of his head. 

“So what are you going to do?” you asked again 

“We’ll be alright,” he assured. “See you in a bit. Get that scepter back home, hmm? Don’t go misusing it like last time.” He gave you a teasing look.

You glared at the two of them, but they nodded to you before syncing their watches to some odd time and place. Scott looked as if he was about to have an anxiety attack. 

“Scott,” you started, turning to him. “Scott, Scott,” you continued. “Calm down.” 

“They… They just left,” he stammered, nearly hyperventilating. 

You put your hands on the side of his face. “Hey, hey, listen to me. Focus on my voice,” you soothed. “They know what they’re doing. They won’t ruin the time heist.” You smiled at him and he calmed down. “We’ve gotta get this cepter back to our time,though. We did our part of the mission. Let them do theirs.”

He nodded, listening to you, and you two shot back to the future. You were back on the platform. Everyone was standing there triumphantly. Tony and Steve were there too and you were relieved beyond measure.

“Did we do it?” you breathed, euphoria filling your body before Shannon moved towards the platform. 

“Where’s Natasha, Clint?” She walked up the platform and she could tell that something was wrong. “Clint, where is she?!” Her voice was full of emotions.

“She…” He stopped himself. “She didn’t make it.”

 “What happened?” She got close and grabbed him by the arms.

“There had to be a sacrifice,” he said numbly, his eyes not quite meeting hers. 

Shannon collapsed, hearing what she was dreading that her only other female friend was gone. “No, it can’t be.” She began shaking, her emotions were going haywire and then the lights started to flicker. “Nat, nooooooo,” she cried out.

Bruce walked over to where Shannon was and knelt beside her, holding her and weeping for the one friend he had made who saw him as just a man not a monster. “It’s okay, baby, we’ll get through this.”

You stared down at your best friend, your heart breaking for her, and for Clint, for everyone. The sound of her crying, the look on Clint’s face made you just want to wrap them up and soak up their pain. But you couldn’t, and that killed you. 

Tony walked over to the two of them to console them. “Alright, honey, come on,you need to breathe. Your powers are starting to form from the pain.” He got Bruce to get up and give him a hand getting her to stand and she leaned on him as they walked down the platform.

The last thing that the others heard before Shannon was gone was. “We were all she had—-” the rest was gone with her.

Horror and sorrow wrapped around you. Why did someone else have to die for this mission? Hadn’t enough people lost their lives? Tears sprung to your eyes. 

---------------------

Rhodey, Nebula, and Rocket worked on getting the stones in a safe place while the rest of you went down to the dock. One by one, everyone went down to the dock. First it was Clint, then it was Steve, then you, then before you knew it, most of the Avengers were out there. 

Clint explained somewhat of what happened. The soul stone had to be taken by another soul. Someone you loved had to die in order to obtain the stone. He explained that she sacrificed herself despite his best efforts. 

Tony solemnly asked, “Do we know if she had family?”

“Yeah. Us,” Steve responded firmly.

Everyone from the original team was at the dock plus you and Shannon for support. You were near Clint in case he needed a shoulder to lean on. Meanwhile Shannon was sitting on a bench being hugged by her husband, she was pretty quiet, she hadn’t said a word since she was taken to her room.

Thor walked over, and demanded, “What?”

Tony backed up, a little nervous and defensive. “I just asked him a question–”

“Yeah, you're acting like she's dead. Why are we acting like she's dead? We have the stones, right? As long as we have the stones, Cap, we can bring her back, isn't that right?” Thor was beyond angry now. “So stop this shit. We're the Avengers, get it together.”

“We can't get her back,” Clint deadpanned.

“Wha– what?” Thor stammered.

“It can't be undone. It can't.”

Thor laughed, but there was no emotion in it. “I'm sorry. No offense, but you're a very earthly being. Okay? We're talking about space magic. And ‘can't’ seems very definitive don't you think?”

“Yeah, look, I know that I'm way outside my paygrade here. But she still isn't here, is she?” Clint snapped.

“No, that's my point–”

“It can't– be undone. Or that's at least what the red floating guy had to say.” At this point, Clint was shouting. “Maybe you wanna go talk to him, okay? Go grab your hammer, and you go fly and you talk to him!” Tears filled his eyes as he said, “It was supposed to be me. She sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone. She bet her life on it.”

You slowly walked over to him and rubbed his arms. You two had been through a lot in the last couple of years together. “No, Clint, it shouldn’t have been you, or her. It’s a terrible price that had to be paid.” 

You wrapped your arms around Clint’s shoulders, resting your head on his left shoulder. He put his hand on your hand and leaned his head against yours. The two of you tried comforting each other.

In a burst of anger, Bruce Hulked out and grabbed a bench, hurling it clear across the lake. His anger spent, he turned to the others with a resigned look on his face. 

Shannon flinched at the sudden change from Bruce to Hulk, but she got up anyway and got the big guy to sit and calm down. “Hey, big guy I know this is tough. It hurts me too but I need you to bring back the other guy okay?” She looked into his big green eyes. “I promise you can come back later and we can lay in the grass so you can feel the baby kick.”

His features change and soften noticing how sad she looked. “Okay,” his voice boomed, “be back soon.”

Bruce returned and with a look of determination, said, “She's not coming back. We have to make it worth it. We have to.”

“We will,” Steve vowed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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UC: @lokis-high-priestess​

[ohtobeoneofbuckysplums]

Some Friendly Competition [BUCKY BARNES X READER]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader // Avengers x Reader 

Summary: The first time you ever interact with Bucky Barnes is over a game of beer pong. 

Word count: ~1.7k

Contains: just some good ole fluff and a bit of PG-13 language

A/N: My first fic/post on this blog! I really hope you guys enjoy this, and let me know your thoughts/give me some feedback! Requests are open, so feel free to send me some ideas or just say hi!  

 –––––

“Friday, chill sesh in the main apartment,” Tony calls out as you guys walk out of the meeting, “I’m gonna dock your pay if you miss it!” 

 –––––

The hangout is already in full swing when you arrive. 

“Lady Y/N!” Thor booms when you walk in, raising his drink to you, and you wave back laughing. Tony’s outside at the bar next to the pool, playing bartender. You walk over. 

“What can I get for you, kid?” He asks, throwing a dishrag over his shoulder. 

“Surprise me, old man,” you shoot back. 

After grabbing your drink (he made you a Margarita), you head to the ping pong table at the other side of the pool where Sam and Steve are talking. 

“What’s up, Y/N,” Sam greets with a hug. 

“Great job on the mission,” Steve says, patting you on the shoulder. 

“Easy peasy,” you say with a nonchalant wave of your hand. Your gaze catches on the red solo cups on the table. 

“Wanna go a round?” You ask Sam, shaking the ball that’s clutched in between your fingers. 

“No way, Y/N. Remember the last time we played?” he asks, and you cackle at the memory of finding him the morning after going sixteen rounds of beer pong (all of which he lost but continued to call for rematch after rematch) in a neon pink speedo and asleep on the unicorn floatie on top of the pool. You used up half of your phone’s data taking pictures of him, all of which you sent to the team group chat.  

“Stevie?” You asks, jutting out your bottom lip. He laughs at you.

“Nice try,” he says while shaking his head. Since he can’t get drunk, you guys usually play with a forfeit. Last time he had to let you pick his outfit for one day. The look on everyone’s faces when Captain America walked into the mission meeting in a hotdog suit brings a smile to your face every time you think of it. 

“You guys are no fun,” you say with a pout. 

“I’ll play a round with you Miss Y/L/N,” Peter pipes up from the couch in front of the fire pit. You raise a brow and Sam laughs, but you throw him a ball anyway. 

“Good luck kid.” 

“Okay, okay cool, I’ve only played like once at a party, but I don’t know if that counts since we didn’t have beer, so we used cranberry juice, but I feel like––” 

Bucky plucks the ping pong ball out of Peter’s hands. “You and me,” he says to you. You raise your brows, surprised that the Winter Soldier decided to even come out to one of these hangouts. You talked to him before, basic pleasantries on missions and around the tower, but haven’t really had a full on interaction with him. You ignore that though. The tequila is beginning to work its way into your bloodstream and he looks especially good in a simple black tee and jeans and you kind of want to see how good of a beer pong player the famous Winter Soldier really is. You look at him for a beat longer, giving him time to change his mind if he wants, but he simply quirks up a brow. 

“Okay, you’re on Barnes.” He flashes you a smile that makes your cheeks warm. 

“You don’t want to play her Barnes, she’ll smoke you,” Sam warns him. 

Steve folds his arms across his chest, his face adorned with an amused smile. Because honestly, he doesn’t know who would win. A super soldier with a bionic arm against an assassin with deadly aim. Each has an equal shot. 

“Eye for eye,” you both say in unison, locking eyes while tossing each of your balls. Yours makes it in while his bounces off the rim of a cup. 

“Next time, sweets,” you say with a wink. He cracks a smile and rolls his eyes. You make two of his cups, and now it’s his turn. 

Flicking his wrist, the ball plops into the cup at the center of the triangle. Your mouth melts into an evil grin. 

“Pants off.” 

His eyes sharpen. “What?” 

“You made the center cup on your first try. Pants off.” His mouth opens, about to argue. 

“Those are the rules man,” Steve says, eyes crinkling at the corners. Bucky gives him a glare that would make any other man piss his pants, but Steve just shrugs and beckons him to undress. He lets out an annoyed huff, but proceeds to unbuckle his belt. When he finishes pushing down his black jeans, he’s left in a pair of tight black briefs. Someone whistles. You can’t help your eyes as they wander down.

“Eyes up here, Doll,” he says with a smirk, and your mouth drops open. The dimple on the side of his face deepening when he sees your flustered state. 

“Don’t flatter yourself, Barnes,” you say, trying to ignore the way your stomach twists when he calls you “Doll.”

 –––––

You’re currently in the lead when Nat walks over, six shots held impressively between her fingers. She hands you two of the them, gives two to Sam, and downs the last two herself.

“I would have gotten you two oldies some, but then I remembered that you guys only drink gross whiskey,” she says to Bucky and Steve. 

“How considerate,” Bucky says dryly, arms now crossed against his chest. 

You hiss when you feel the vodka run down your throat, and you scrunch up your face at the taste. 

Sam laughs. “One of the best Russian trained assassins can’t handle the taste of vodka.”

“Fuck you Big Bird,” you wheeze out, flipping him off. Sam’s mouth pops open comically. Bucky chokes on air, and Nat howls, clapping her hands together. 

“Big Bird? Big Bird?” Sam asks, eyebrows to his hairline. You all continue to laugh even harder at his affronted expression, and he scoffs. 

“The utter disrespect. Big Bird? Come on, I need a drink,” you hear him mumble to himself as he walks away. 

“I love you!” You yell. He waves you off, and you blow him a kiss. Nat’s still giggling when your favorite song comes on. 

“Your turn Barnes––oh my god, I love this song!” you exclaim. Bucky gauges the shot, and he’s just about to release the ball when you raise your arms above your head, swaying your hips to the music, and his eyes laser in on the small strip of skin that’s uncovered when your shirt rides up. His hand falters, and the ball flies to the left and bounces away and onto the ground. You smirk and wink, and his eyes narrow. 

“Distracted there, Bud?” Steve murmurs. Bucky glares at him. And out of spite, he tosses the ball while still glaring at Steve. It splashes straight into a cup. Steve raises his brows and his hands in mock apology. 

You’re both down to your last cups. He’s a formidable opponent. It’s his turn, and he makes it. You’re not worried though. 

Okay just gotta make this shot, or he wins. Easy peasy. You take a breath and release the ball. It soars in a nice arc, hits the rim, and…

rolls off the side of the cup and bounces off the table. 

Your mouth pops opens in surprise while Bucky’s stretches into a triumphant smile. 

“Rematch,” you demand. 

“Uhh, I don’t think so, I kinda like being the king of beer pong right now. Maybe another time,” he says with a smug grin. Your shock turns into a begrudging laughter. 

“Okay fine. Good game, good game,” you say, offering up your hand, which he takes, warm hand and rough callouses rub against your skin deliciously. 

You grab his tumbler of whiskey sitting on the table and down the rest in one gulp. He raises his brows, eyes focused on a drop of liquor at the corner of your mouth. 

“I’m gonna hold you to that rematch,” you say before sauntering off. He watches you leave before seating himself down on the couch. 

A hand offers him a refilled glass of whiskey, which he takes. He can’t get drunk, but it’s familiar, and Tony’s collection tastes nice. Seconds after, Steve plops down next to him. 

“So, what do you think of Y/N?” 

“She’s cool. I like her,” he says simply, not taking his eyes off the way you’re drunkenly dancing dangerously close to the pool’s edge with Natasha. Steve narrows his eyes, a knowing smile playing on his lips. 

“Shut up, punk,” he says

“I didn’t say anything!” Steve exclaims, raising his hands in defense. 

“Didn’t have to,” still gazing at you. You’re now braiding Thor’s hair, and his stomach clenches with something akin to jealousy and something else when he sees you throw back your head and laugh at something the lightening god says, wishing that that person who was making you laugh was him. That the hair you’re combing your fingers through was his. That he could laugh that easily with you. 

“Okay, whatever, I won’t push it,” Steve says, clinking his own glass to Bucky’s. 

A few moments of peaceful silence. 

“Bucky has a crush!” 

“Oh fuck you, what are you twelve?” Bucky says before pushing himself off the couch. 

“Hey––where are you going?” Captain America calls after his best friend. 

“Away from you!” 

Steve shakes his head as he laughs, raising his glass to his lips before hearing Sam’s shriek followed by a loud splash. 

“Fuck you Barnes,” Sam sputters once his head breaks through the water. Bucky just flips him off as he walks back inside. 

“What the hell did you say?” Steve asks, wiping the water droplets off of his face. 

“I just asked him why he was smiling so much!” 

[thehollowprince]

"and make that the third Iron Man movie instead of the mess that was IM3" would you mind elaborating on that? I'm honestly not trying to start anything; I just hate Stank and the asshole playing him and love to read others dragging him too (the only Movie I enjoy him in, is Avengers 1, because I almost got to see him die TWICE (and both times he just looks like the rampant diarrhea has returned and he's desperately clenching until he can get to a toilet)).

Okay, so... I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before, if not here than somewhere else, but a few years back, either just before or just after Infinity War, I sat down and thought of ways to actually fix the problems that they (Marvel) caused by kissing RDJ's ass by allowing him in whatever movies he wanted. To do this, we have to whip out the Time Stone and go back...

Picture it! Sicily Summer, 2012! The Avengers hit theaters and became one of the highest grossing openings of all time (or they highest, I don't really follow statistics). While the movies before that had a few hiccups - were trying to get their footing - they did a good job of setting up this shared universe that we now have. The Avengers was the culmination of everything we'd gotten from the previous movies, including the the Tesseract that wove it's way through the stories as well as their individual arcs for the Big Three (Tony, Thor and Steve).

Tony was continuing his research into clean energy via the arc reactor project. We found out what happened to Loki after he fell from the Bifrost and Thor's reaction to seeing his brother again. They showed Steve suffering from PTSD from his crash and him struggling to adjust to the seventy year time difference. Nat and Clint had their roles expanded but in a way that built off of their arcs in Iron Man 2 and Thor, as the spy and the eye-in-the-sky. Even characters like Coulson or Fury fit the narrative they gave us in the previous film. That was why we all cheered when they won the Battle of New York. Not just because the good guys saved the day, but because we saw the culmination of what had been set up before, using the Asgardian knowledge of wormholes and portals combined with Tony's arc reactor project and the Tesseract that the Red Skull had been experimenting with. All of that came together in that big climactic battle with the Chitauri invasion and our heroes putting aside their grudges and misgivings to fight together for the first time. It was amazing!

Sadly, Marvel has not accomplished something like that since.

Don't get me wrong, the MCU, for all its faults since then, has made some good content. The Winter Soldier is, in my opinion, the best movie the franchise has produced. We got Black Panther (a little late, but we still got it). The individual movies weren't the problem, it was their attempt to weave it all together for the next team-up movie where everything went south.

Age of Ultron did the exact opposite of the first Avengers film, in that it completely ignored all the movies of Phase 2 and just made this thing that was a repeat of the Big Three movies that came before it. Ultron was just Project Insight 2.0, but combined with Tony's PTSD and excessive suit building in IM3 with a dash of the mystic by using the weird cave sequence with Thor, that came with no explanation.

And look, Iron Man 3, despite its hodgepodge of badly executed ideas, was a nice conclusion to Tony's arc since we first saw him. If you ignore the specifics of that movie, you get Tony giving up being Iron Man because he realized that he was putting the people he cared about in danger. He trashed all of his suits, finally had the shrapnel in his chest removed so that he could live without the arc reactor, and decided to start a life with the woman he loved. That's how the movie ends. He retires, ready to move on with his life... until he shows up in Age of Ultron, brand new suit despite having trashed them all and just repeats the same character arc he did in his last solo movie. He creates an army of robots (instead of suits) called the Iron Legion as well as working on this Ultron Program, which was him once again trying to protect the world from external threats due to his trauma from going through that wormhole and staring in the vast emptiness of space. And then at the end of the movie, he retires... again.

We could have avoided all of this, and actually set up for the big conflict with Thanos if they had simply made IM3 the Ultron plot, since AoU was so Tony-centric anyway. Get rid of Killian and the badly explained Extremis plot. Get rid of the fake Mandarin (sorry Ben Kingsley) and just have Tony's PTSD and paranoia about another alien invasion be the reason for Ultron's creation. They could have had a line or two about how Tony "upgraded the program", referencing the fact that Ultron was created by Hank Pym in the comics and therefor setting up Ant-Man for the future. They could have taken out the other Avengers, maybe leaving in Bruce and just used Rhodey and the Iron Legion, and the soon-to-be created Vision from the A.I. that was J.A.R.V.I.S. take on Ultron and his army. We could have included the Sokovia subplot and kept the Maximoff Twins as secondary antagonists due to the MCU making their origin story focus so heavily on Tony. Could have kept Ulysses Klau as an old "acquaintance" of Tony's from his arms dealer days, setting up Wakanda and the Black Panther. All of that could have fit so nicely into a third Iron Man movie, with maybe Ultron taking advantage of Tony's arc reactor and maybe kidnapping Pepper (and allowing them to introduce Pepper's suit "Rescue" a lot earlier than Endgame) all of it culminating in the same ending: Tony removing his arc reactor and trashing his suits (maybe keeping one as a momento) and settling down with Pepper.

Boom! Leaves us wide open for Civil War to take place as the second Avengers movie, splitting up the team with the Sokovia Accords and allowing the third Captain America movie to be about Steve Rogers and his squad. We could have gotten bearded cap for a whole movie, not just six minutes and included the whole "other Winter Soldiers" arc and kept it in this movie, just having Civil War be about the fallout from the world's politicians wanting the Avengers on a leash after what happened in Manhattan, D.C., Johannesburg, Sokovia, etc.

The real problem with the version of Civil War that we got was that it was trying to be both a Captain America film and an Avengers movie at the same time. They tried to have the subplot with Bucky and the winter soldier program, but too much of it was also focused on Tony and then the whole subplot with T'Challa and then Wanda and Vision. It was too much. Take out the winter soldier part and you have a solid Avengers movie, a mirror to the first one, where they all came together, this one pulls them apart, just before the big bad of Thanos rolss up into town, when they should be the most united. And then the winter soldier part could be used for the third cap movie, which I'll expand upon later, but it would have fixed a lot of the MCU's problems.

But that's just my two cents.

[81scorp]

My top 7 movies of 2016 (and a bonus)

Hey kids! Its that time again! That day you`ve all been waiting for, when I talk about the movies I`ve seen in the cinema and rank them according to my own personal taste and bias!

Except this year there were some... complications. You might have heard about something called the corona virus, a pandemic and stuff like that.

This year I only had time and opportunity to see one movie in the cinema, not enough material to make a list of as you can see. So instead I`ll give you a list of the movies I saw in 2016! Now, if you`re wondering if I`ll do a list of all the movies I saw in 2015 I`ll have to dissapoint you.

I didn`t start keeping track of my movie going experiences until 2016.

(One of these movies came out 2015, and it even came to the cinemas in my country that year but I didn`t get to see it until 2016, so that`s why it`s on this list.)

M`kay? M`kay.

7: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Zack Snyder is good at making a movie look good but he is not a good story teller.

Man of steel had some shortcomings, but surely Snyder would learn from that and do better in the next movie that would help build the DCEU and lead up to Justice league, right?

Nope. Batman kills, Supes is sad, just like most of this movie, and I can`t really take Eisenbergs Lex seroius as a villain.

But atleast Wonder woman is not in the movie long enough for them to screw up her character, so there`s always that.

Overstuffed, not strong enough to live up to it`s own ambitions and uses up all the big guns in it`s climax instead of saving them for later movies. Snyder was not the right guy for these movies. He`s better suited for telling his own stories than others.

6: Suicide Squad

This one gets a better spot than BvS because I like it. I like that Batman was allowed to be Batman this time and not another one of Snyder`s broken antiheroes who are appearently obligated to kill people just because the plot says so. I like that we were introduced to characters that aren`t Batman, Superman or Wonderwoman for a change, the DC comics universe does have more characters than those three after all. I like that they weren`t afraid to introduce magic into the DCEU. I like that Harley Quinn, a character with potential, finally appeared on the big screen.

But the keyword here is "like". Just because you like something doesn`t mean that it`s good.

The plot is admittedly a mess. A mess I could follow, but still a mess. Some consider this movie worse than BvS because that movie at least had ambitions while this does not. Yeah but this was fun, and without ambitions it had one less area where it could fail.

Buut that`s not really an argument in it`s favor.

5: Dr Strange

I feel bad putting it this close to Suicide Squad on the list becuse it is much better than that.

Pretty standard MCU quality. Does not dissapoint but doesn`t excel either.

"Iron Man but on LSD" is an accurate description of the plot but also a very generalizing way of describing the movie. Cool set pieces, original ideas and a clever climax makes it different enough from most of the other chapters in the MCU saga churned out by the giant Marvel movie factory.

4: Star Wars: the force awakens (2015)

I didn`t ask much from the new Star Wars movies. I only wished for two things: Don`t mention Jar Jar or midichlorians.

Besides avoiding those obvious mistakes the movie also had good acting, likeable characters capable of delivering non-wooden dialogue, sets that weren`t completely CGI`d and a pretty engaging scene between Han Solo and Kylo Ren. Sure, it played it a little too safe by borrowing more than a few plot points from A new hope but other than that it did what a Star Wars movie should do.

3: Deadpool

The basic spine of the plot is not very innovative and a little old fashioned: boy meets girl, boy loses girl to kidnappers, boy gets superpowers and rescues girl. But what sets this apart from other movies that have used the same formula is the execution. It has a lot of comedy, raw violence and some self aware fourth wall breaking.

R rated superhero comicbook movies are few and rare. R rated superhero comicbook movies that break the fourth wall are even rarer, and thats what makes this movie intersting.

2: Captain America: Civil War

The MCU has always had a little problem with sequels. A few examples are Iron man 2 and 3 and Thor the dark world. Here`s were the Captain America movies are a golden exception.

Captain America: Civil war did not surprise me as much as Captain America: Winter soldier but it still gave me something to sink my teeth into.

It gives both sides good and understandable reasons to fight for the things they believe in and it introduced two new characters in a way that felt like it helped the plot instead of cluttering it.

It gives you some "Hell Yeah!" moments but also someting to think about.

And now...

Drumroll please.

My number one pick for 2016 iiis...

1: Zootopia

As usual, the movie that gets the number one spot on my list is an animated one that knows how to tug at my heart strings. I like when a movie gets me to feel someting but to get the number one spot on my list a movie needs to do a little more than that, and that`s what this movie did. It made me feel and it made me think.

Some tears, some laughs and a little commentary on todays society.

Here`s where my list would normally end, but this year hasn`t exactly been normal. Before I get to the one movie I actually saw in the cinema this year I`m gonna list some of the movies I planned to see this year but didn`t get the chance to.

Wonder Woman 1984

Onward

Sonic the hedgehog (I did see this one in 2020. On DVD. It was adequate.)

Scoob!

Birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one Harley Quinn

The New Mutants

(Black Widow used to be on this list but since it got delayed to 2021 I couldn`t keep it on my 2020 list.)

And now...

Drumroll please... again.

The only movie that I saw in the cinema in 2020 iiis...

Jojo Rabbit (2019)

It is late world war two, we follow Johannes "Jojo" Bretzler, a 10 year old boy who believes in the nazi ideals so much that he has Adolf Hitler himself as an imaginary best friend.

Just when you think that we have made all the movies we can about WWII this movie shows that there are still are a few angles left that we haven`t tried.

Jojo Rabbit shows us not just how dangerous, but also how immature nazism is. The worst kind of immaturity, the kind that lacks any kind of selfawareness and believes that it is dead serious.

If I could to sum up this movie in three words they would be: Important, serious and funny.

And that`s my list, feel free to disagree.

-----------------------------

Deviation nr: 142

Written Stuff nr: 35 I usually post these lists at the beginning of the new year instead of at the end of the old one. But this year there was no point in waiting for any late December releases (for obvious reasons). I had already seen all the movies I could see. Let`s hope that next year is better.

[iwillbeinmynest]

The Ravens- Loki x Reader(f)   Part 5

Authors Notes: Holy. Crap. I am SO SORRY. but I’ve finally finished it. Finally. This is the last of my unfinished series so now i have caught y'all up on everything. Thanks so much for sticking with me y’all!!

AU: Rockstar!AU

Word Count: 2.2k+

Notes/Warnings: Fluffs all the fluffs, mentions of drinking, and...I think thats..it? Let me know if I've missed something! oh, i guess spelling errors should be a warning lol I tried to catch as much as I could but I’m sure i’ve missed some.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4 

"Loki."

He felt a nudge to his side.

"Loki, sweetheart, wake up."

Ah. He knew that voice. It was in his dreams, his mind and his whole world. He groaned and rolled over, dragging the thin sheet with him.

She chuckled.

A smack of fabric and his eyes snapped open from the impact of the heavy pillow. "Ow." He lied with a grin.

"Get up." She smiled and crossed her arms. "We need to be at the arena in an hour." She walked to the bed and he reached for her. She pulled away before he could catch her wrist. "No. Get up, lazy bum." She laughed.

"I don't want to." He mumbled groggily.

She jumped onto the bed, shaking the mattress so much that his head bounced up. Y/N laughed at him. "I told you to get up."

Loki finally sat up in bed but grabbed Y/N by the shoulders and tugged her close. She laughed again as he rolled over, laying back down and spooning her. "I refuse."

He nuzzled his nose to her neck and kissed it twice.

"You rockstars are all the same. You just wanna stay in bed all day and party all night." She teased.

"I don't have any interest in partying, my love. Just this. You and me, right here. Forever." He confessed.

Y/N hummed and leaned into him. "I'd love that." She jerked forward and hopped off the bed. "But first you need to get dressed. There will be a limo here in 45 minutes and you better be downstairs. Don't stand me up, Loki Odinson!" She called as she left the room.

The hotel door clicked shut and Loki rolled to his back. He smiled to the ceiling at the thought of her. She was everything he ever wanted and more.

He huffed as he got out of bed and headed for the shower to get ready.

He thought about the last year. How quickly it had flown by, yet, at the same time, every moment with Y/N had seemed to last a lifetime. They had started dating right after his first solo gig at Harry's. The same night he first sang her song.

They'd kept things under the radar for a while; she was pretty hesitant about the possibility of paparazzi and crazy fans of his. And he'd understood that completely. But when a fan recognized him while he was on a date with her, a photo was sent to TMZ and things unraveled pretty quickly after that.

A week later they announced their relationship. Y/N still wanted to live in New York but when fans of Loki's began approaching her she quickly realized that normalcy wasn't in her future.

So, she moved out to LA where she took up a new job and moved into a rather expensive apartment at Loki's persistent request. He promised that to make up for her having to move, he'd put her up in a penthouse but she convinced him to settle on letting her take just a 4 bedroom with an ocean view.

And that's when things began to get really easy. Having been on a tour break, they saw each other almost daily for about six months. Loki really fell into the idea of domestication. Him and her together all the time, talking about their day and what to do for dinner. It was a peace he'd only heard about.

He wasn't about to give that up, either.

Loki invited her to go on tour with The Ravens, explaining that this would be his last trip around the globe with the band. He'd broken the news to Thor before plans for a world tour had even been laid. Told him that he needed to be done and to explore his own music, go solo, along with other plans. When Thor reacted with nothing but enthusiasm, Loki had been in shock. He was certain that news like that would have sent Thor on a rampage but all he got was a bellowing laugh, a hug that threatened asphyxiation and a soft 'I'm proud of you, brother'.

To say that Loki was relieved to be done with the rockstar lifestyle was an understatement.

One last show, he reminded himself as he ran his fingers through his wavy, air-dried locks. One last show and then forever.

He met Y/N down in the lobby with a smile. "Are you ready?" He asked with an arm extended.

She wrapped her hand around his elbow and rolled her eyes. "I've been ready for an hour and a half."

She looked up at him with a world-stopping grin.

"I'm sorry, my love. I'll be better next time."

"He says on his way to his last show." She chuckled.

Loki opened the door of the limo for her and she slid in. He sat beside her and shut the door.

"I'm actually nervous for this one." He admitted.

She looked at him confused. "You've been looking forward to this for weeks."

Loki shrugged. Now wasn't the time to get into it. He put an arm across her shoulder and kissed her head when she settled into his side.

They could hear the crowds before they could hear see the stadium. Playing their final show back in New York in Madison Square Garden was perfect. It was here, last year, that Loki had decided to play his first solo gig, inspired by the woman at his side. It was a full circle.

The flashes were dimmed thanks to the heavy tint of the limo's windows but they both squinted nonetheless.

"Time to put on that brooding expression everyone expects." Y/N teased. Loki's gloomy persona had originally been that of true unhappiness but now that he had Y/N, he kept it up for the band’s sake and reputation.

"My favorite part." He scoffed.

Y/N kissed his cheek and he turned on her, capturing her lips in a deeper, but tender, display.

"I love you." He breathed.

"I love you, too." She smiled with closed eyes. "We better get out before the fans tip the car."

They both chuckled and a security guard opened the car door.

Loki dropped his smile and got out, ignoring the screaming fans as he helped Y/N out of the back seat. He pulled her close and nodded to the crowd. They were quickly escorted inside where they only had a few seconds of peace before Loki was swarmed by hair and wardrobe and stage managers.

The roar of the crowd was like nothing Y/N had ever heard before. Sure, she’d been to many of their shows but this was Madison Square Garden. This was quite possibly the biggest crowd the band had ever had a t one event and they’d sold out within hours of the tickets going on sale. There were even rumors that the arena was selling tickets for standing room.

Y/N stood backstage and watched Loki and the band play all of their biggest hits. Song after song for the last hour. The pyrotechnics and lights matched the heavy music and the crowd was loving every second of it.

FInally, they were down to their last song of the night.

“Thank you, New York!” Thor shouted. They screamed back. “Thank you!” He raised his hands to try and hush them. “We are so glad to have shared this night with all of you and thank you for coming out to support us. We have an announcement to make and hopefully you won’t be too sad,”

The crowd began to get noisier with concerned chatter.

“Don’t worry,” Thor smiled. “We aren’t done rockin’ quite yet.”

They cheered.

“But,” he continued. “But Loki,” He gestured to his brother as the crowd quieted. “Loki has some changes coming his way and we couldn’t be happier for him.” Thor nodded to Loki who stepped up to his mic.

He waved at the fans and offered a solemn smile. “Firstly, before I get into all of that, I want to say thank you to each and every one of you for your support through the years. And a special thanks to those of you who prefer me over my brother,” A half serious jest.

The crowd laughed and a few even cheered.

“But the big news is that I have decided…” Loki took a deep breath. This was it. “To go solo.”

The area erupted in noise. A combination of chatter, cheers, boos and shouts.

Loki held up his hands and the noise lowered enough that he continued. “But that’s not the biggest change.” He looked to the side stage to see Y/N standing there with her hands clasped and pressed under her wide smile. She nodded at him.

Loki smiled back and then extended his hand out to her. “Y/N, darling, why don’t you come out here for a moment.”

Y/N eyes went wide and her smile disappeared. Her head ticked and her smile returned with suspicion as she walked out to meet him.

Loki took his guitar off and handed it to Volstagg. He took Y/N by the hand and kissed her knuckles before returning to the mic. “I believe most of you know my lovely girlfriend. She has been the light of my life since the very moment I met her. She inspired me and very quickly became my muse. She has given me courage to play my music, to write it, and to explore it in a way I hadn’t known. She is my refuge and my rock and I can’t imagine where I would be without her.”

Y/N’s cheeks were red with flattery and she shook her head. “What are you doing?” She whispered.

Loki smiled but didn’t answer. He looked to the crowd. “Tonight I’ve announced that I am leaving the Ravens. Flying away, so to speak, and never in my life have I been so nervous before a show. But my nerves had nothing to do with that announcement,” he took another breath, “And everything to do with this question.”

He looked to Y/N, took both of her hands and dropped to one knee.

The crowd burst into screams and cheers.

The sound, as loud as it was, seemed to fade away. Loki never took his eyes off of Y/N and asked, “Y/N, will you marry me?”

Y/N couldn’t hear a word but she knew what he’d said. She ignored the tears that were now falling down her cheeks and nodded her head. “Yes,” she sobbed and fell into his arms.

Loki scooped her up and spun her around. He laughed and kissed the side of her head until she pulled back and kissed him.

Somehow the crowd managed to scream even louder.

Loki finally released his fiance long enough to slip the ring on her finger, which he kissed then held up in victory.

Thor and the rest of the band rushed over and congratulated them both. After a few minutes of praise and cheer, the crowd settled.

“Alright,” Thor started. “Enough of that.” He joked and Loki actually laughed with him. “We’ve got one final song for tonight and I’d like to play it in honor of my brother who, adopted or not, I love above everyone else. I’m proud of you and wish you nothing but success, which I know you’ll have in both your life and career.” He nodded to Loki who smiled as he took his guitar back from Volstagg.

The band rocked as hard as they could with three encores. The show was followed by an afterparty for the band, crew and a select number of invited guests. It was hosted at Harry’s bar where Loki had played just a year ago. People continued to come up and congratulate Loki and Y/N who remained inseparable through the night.

Sometime around 4 am, the party had died out and only Thor, Loki and Y/N remained.

“I really am happy for you, brother.” Thor said after finishing the last of his beer.

As inebriated as Thor was, Loki knew he was telling the truth. He pulled Y/n a little tighter. “Thank you, brother.”

“I think it’s probably time for me to be heading out.” Thor stood up but almost toppled over just as fast.

Loki stood and caught him. “Okay, I think that’s a good idea. Lets get you in a car.” loki caught the attention of the driver and nodded.

After getting Thor sent off, loki returned to his fiance. “Ready to go, love?”

“Actually,” She grinned, “I was feeling a bit hungry and I know this great little diner not to far from here.”

Loki kissed her hands again as he remembered their dinner there. “I finally kissed you that night.” He ginned.

“Finally.” She joked.

“Oh, come on, admit it,” He said as he escorted her out to their car. “You loved the wait. You were playing hard to get.”

She gasped and swatted his arm. “I was not! Thor kept interrupting us, remember.”

Loki chuckled. “I do.” He gave the driver the address of the diner and the car pulled off. “I never did get to thank you, by the way.”

“For what?” Y/N yawned as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

“For saying yes.” He leaned his head on hers.

“Till the end of time, love.” She held his arm tighter.

“Till the end of time.”

*   *   *   *   *

Forever Tags: 

@heismyhunter  @sgtbxckybxrnes @pickledmoon @whimsicalrebirth @marvel-lucy @thisisthelilith @james-bionic-barnes @thedreamingowl @poemwriter98@kimistry27 @annie-lujan @buckyandsebsinbin @lilasiannerd @gypsy-storm-15 @cassiopeiassky @earinafae @the-stuttering-kiwi @obsessedwithatwell @shortiiqt16 @shifutheshihtzu @elaacreditava @nikkitia7 @theonewithallthemilkshakes @gallifreyansass @storytellingwanderer @palaiasaurus64 @iamwarrenspeace @engineeringgirlcve @magnolia-wanders @carameldaemoncakes @canumoveyourseatup-no @melconnor2007 @movingonto-betterthings @spideytrxsh @fantasticmiraclehologram @kapolisradomthoughts  @iamwarrenspeace @melconnor2007 @yesiamdeliciouslycaffeinated @mcu-avengerrs @archy3001@mmauricee @barnesvogue @feelmyroarrrr @beyondbarnes @marvelous-avengers @veronicalei @cornflax01 @kudosia @witchymarvelspacecase@beccaanne814 @inumorph @thisismysecrethappyplace @artemis521@darkhologramblaze @palaiasaurus64 @awkwardfangirl2014@diinofayce @youclickedthislink  @lille-kattunge @patzammit @amiquette @destiel-artemis @nea90sweetie@miraclesoflove @nickimarie94

The Ravens Tags:

@eyeofdionysus @lauxeyson @riptidethepen @17marvelousfreak @izzy-obwan@bellasett @4theluvofall @jasura @eternalanxious @holding-on-to-francis @ladydork @ex-bookjunky @kiwi71281 @jokesonjess@whatthehellisacastiel @heter-no-sexual @indaybella99  @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes @greenhands5 @finding–grace @movingonto-betterthings @wearethecanadians @mysticracoon @fuckthatfeeling@bookgirlunicorn @thisheartbeatsonlyforyou  

[redstarwriting]

Always

Clint Barton x Reader

Request: “Do you think you could write a Clint x Reader where they have a private relationship away from everything Clint does at SHEILD and the reader loves singing so they always go to open mics together. But one evening when she had a show Clint can't be there because he's on a mission. On the way home the reader gets kidnapped by HYDRA to try to get a ransom from SHEILD and they don't get it so they take what the reader loves most about herself: her voice. Anyway she gets rescued and Clint helps her learn ASL and always takes out his hearing aids because he wants her to understand that while he loved her voice he is more happy that she's safe and with him?”

Word Count: 3,083

Genre: Angst | Some Fluff

Warnings: Kidnapping, Loss of ability to speak, Emotional distress

A/N: Wow! My longest one to date! I hope I did this request justice, because it’s a very cool concept I think. I hope you all enjoy this one!

───────────────────────────────────

“I can’t believe tonight is the start of my solo career,” you joke to yourself, checking your outfit in the mirror. You were about to go to the bar you and Clint frequented as it’s open mic night. Unknown to the rest of the Avengers, except Nat, Clint had a girlfriend. In fact, the two of you literally met at an open mic night, so it was crazy for you to be going without him now. Not necessarily unknown to the rest of the Avengers, Clint has an amazing voice. However, what they don’t know about his angelic voice, is that he sings with his girlfriend at open mic nights every week. When he disappears for the night, they just assume he’s somewhere in the vents, all snuggled and probably eavesdropping. Everyone gets unusually quiet on these nights. He is in fact at the bar you two frequent, O’Caroll’s, not trying to get gossip on all the Avengers. That’s what he does when everyone thinks he’s getting lunch or taking a nap. He tells you all of the gossip too, so you know more about the Avengers than some of the other Avengers know about each other. If you ever met them, you’d really have to be careful with what you’d say. You could ruin lives.

Sadly though, this Saturday night you’re going to the bar alone. Clint is out on a mission, trying to get information from HYDRA with the rest of the team. He keeps telling you how worried he is that they’re planning something big. You always have to assure him that he and the rest of his team will put a stop to it and that everything would be okay. In a way, you were the only thing that could make him feel like everything would end up okay. You love having that power, because although the man is happy-go-lucky literally all the time, he has secrets and doubts in his mind. You put him at ease, and he loves it. You’re one of the main reasons he was able to go into this mission with a clear head. The Avengers finally found where HYDRA was hiding, and they decided to go after them. Although it left you alone, you were proud of him. He was busy saving the world, one open mic night wouldn’t hurt much.

Since O’Caroll’s was one block from your apartment, you always walk there as opposed to getting a ride. Usually, you have your boyfriend with you and that’s all the protection you need, but this time you were alone. A good thing for you is that on your way there, a good amount of people were still walking around the streets since it was nine in the evening. Although you felt a tiny bit sketched out, you still didn’t feel like certain doom was awaiting you because you were walking alone. When you arrive at O’Caroll’s, you’re greeted by the bartender, Cait. “Clint’s not with you?” she asks, surprise literally written all over her face. “No, not tonight. He has some work stuff to deal with,” you give her a look, indicating that it was Secret Agent Barton work. Cait was a close friend to you two, so she knew about Clint’s job as Hawkeye, one of Earth’s mightiest defenders. She nods, understanding immediately before grinning at you and motioning towards the stage. “Well, I’m glad you could still come. Can’t wait to hear your voice tonight.” “Thanks, Cait. Now, give me my usual, please.”

The rest of the night was a blast. You mingled with all the other regulars and sang quite a few times. Nearly every time you would step off the stage to let someone else go, you were met with protests. All in all, your first solo performance night went very well. You couldn’t wait to tell Clint all about it when he got home from the mission. You knew he’d want to hear every detail, so you went easy on the alcohol this time. You also knew you’d be walking home alone tonight, as no one else who lived in your apartment complex came to open mic night. By two in the morning, you decided it was time to head home. You said goodbye to Cait and all of your adoring fans as you walked out into the breezy New York night. It seemed like a very calm night, and you were very at ease. Your feeling of ease quickly disappeared when you realized just how quiet and calm it was. It was unusual, some of the bars around here forced their patrons out at two in the morning, so why didn’t you see anyone coming out of any? You began walking faster, trying to get to your apartment building as soon as possible. You were about to get to your stoop, when you heard a hushed whisper from the dark alleyway you were right in front of say, “That’s her, get her!”

Before you could even start running, you felt someone grab your arms while another person shoved a rag in your face. You struggled to get out of the man’s grip and fought desperately to stay awake, but you knew the rag was doused in chloroform. And due to this, you began losing consciousness. The last thing you noticed was being shoved in a van and seeing a badge on one of your abductor’s clothes. A skull with six tentacles where the mouth should be. The last thought that went through your head was Clint, then everything went black.

While this was happening to you, the Avengers were on their way back from their mission. The information they got from the HYDRA agents at the base they just destroyed was very helpful to them. In fact, it would help them absolutely win against HYDRA completely. There was a map on the wall of the main control room in the base, and although there were no marks on it to the naked eye, there were marks on it you could only see under a black light. It was quite a textbook thing to do really. Everyone was impressed with how simple it was. Well, actually maybe not impressed. Maybe more suspicious, concerned, paranoid. Clint especially as he hadn’t heard from you for about an hour. He kept telling himself you were just performing, busy singing and that’s why you couldn’t respond. Or maybe you decided to turn in for the night early. He made excuse after excuse as to why you weren’t responding, but no matter what he told himself, he had a bad feeling. “Barton, what’s wrong?” He looks up to see Nat standing in front of him, her hushed tone heard only by him. He sighs, standing to become closer to her level. “I haven’t heard from (Y/N) since 1:30. I’m worried, Nat. I have a bad feeling about this,” he informs her, quietly and urgently. She frowns, you two are friends after all. “Well, isn’t she at home? Maybe she just fell asleep.”

“Maybe, but she could still be out. We go to a specific bar every Saturday, and she told me that even though I wouldn’t be there with her tonight, she was still going.”

“Alone?”

“Alone.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you two talking so hushed about?” Thor asks, oblivious to the tension and seriousness of the conversation. The rest of the team looks at them, and Clint thinks on his feet. “Nat was just telling me about this new SHIELD agent she thinks I’d get along with. Nothing else,” he lies effortlessly, and Nat plays along. “Oh, yeah? Who?” Tony asks, turning the pilot’s seat around, becoming involved in the conversation. Nat rolls her eyes, “If you think I’m going to tell you, you’re sadly mistaken. I’m trying to get her a husband, not a hook-up.” Everyone chuckles at the remark, and Tony shrugs. “Worth a shot.”

At this point, Clint’s phone buzzes. He quickly looks at it, hoping to see your name, however he sees a message from Fury. “Call Me.”

“I gotta take this, guys,” Clint says, walking to a corner of the jet where he can be a bit more private. Emphasis on a bit. He calls immediately, and Fury picks up on the other end. “What do you need?”

“I don’t know how to tell you this nicely, so I’ll just be blunt about it. (Y/N)’s been kidnapped. By HYDRA. And to get her back, they’re requesting we give them the Tesseract. I know you know we can’t do that, but we’re working on finding out just where exactly they’re holding her. I’m sorry for the bad news, Barton.”

The call ends, and Clint freezes. Horror and anger begin flowing through his veins, and he rigidly brings his phone from his ear. “Clint? What’s wrong?” Nat immediately notices the change in his demeanor, as do the rest of the Avengers. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even turn around. “Barton?” Steve walks over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Clint’s eyes dart to Cap’s hand, before looking at him in the face. He doesn’t say anything to him, but rather turns to Nat. “HYDRA has her.” Nat’s expression hardens, and Tony’s eyebrows furrow. “Has who?” Clint doesn’t say anything, rather he sits down, putting his head in his hands. “(Y/N),” Nat responds for him. “Not to be rude, but that doesn’t exactly clear up anything for us,” Bruce says, and Nat sighs. “It’s his girlfriend.”

From that moments forward, the rest of the team began searching to find you. Clint didn’t get any sleep, and he was the most distressed any of them had ever seen him, even Nat. It took two days to locate you, and the very moment your location was found, Clint was already on the quinjet, ready to go wherever you were. He was well aware of the risks of storming the place to find you, but quite frankly, he just didn’t care. He would do whatever it took to get you home safe, and it became very obvious to all of the HYDRA agents and the rest of the Avengers that this was the case very quickly. Arriving at the base was a wild ride, mainly due to the fact that as soon as the quinjet was over the base, Clint immediately skydived out of it. He showed absolutely no mercy to anyone who got in his way, and he showcased some of his swordsmanship abilities. Getting inside the base was easy with Clint going at the rate he was going. The Avengers fought their way to you, but when they found you, it didn’t look good.

Your arms and legs were chained to a chair, and you were looking down. You didn’t even look up when the door to the room you were located in was kicked in. Within the time it took for them to find you, you had been tortured and beaten almost every second of it. You figured the noise was just another method of mental torture they were putting you through, making you think you were being saved, only to rip your hopes apart by beating you again. You were sure you had some broken bones, and you couldn’t even imagine how many cuts and bruises were on your body at this point. You would have rather endured countless beatings than come to terms with what they did when they found out SHIELD wasn’t giving them the Tesseract. Tears start flowing from your eyes again as you think about it, and you’re only snapped out of it when you hear your name being called. You slowly lift your head, and your eyes are met with Clint’s. “(Y/N)!”

He runs over to you, grabbing your face in his hands. “(Y/N), baby, you’re alive! Thank god you’re alive,” he starts mumbling an excessive amount, getting you out of that chair and taking you into his arms. He picks you up, carrying you out to the quinjet while Tony, Nat, Thor, Bruce, and Steve handle the rest of the HYDRA agents. “You’re okay, now. It’s okay,” he says, holding you and wiping the silent tears escaping from your eyes. You only begin to cry harder, however you make no noise at all. Clint finds that odd, knowing that when someone begins sobbing there’s usually sound to it. “What did they do to you…?”

You bury your head in his chest, shaking and crying, but remaining silent the whole time. Clint holds you, stroking your hair and trying to soothe you. When the other Avengers got back to the quinjet, they were met with Clint holding you in his arms, his cheeks stained with tears. “Is she okay?” Nat asks, going over to you. You don’t move from the position you’re in, but Clint nods, telling her you were okay. Nat could see the distant look in his eyes, though, and she knew something was wrong. She didn’t want to pry, so she just nodded and walked away. The ride home was silent, even Tony wasn’t talking. The whole time, Clint just held you in his arms.

When you all arrived at Avengers Tower, Clint lead you to his room immediately. “You can take a shower if you want to. You were gone for a while and I doubt they let you practice personal hygiene, so,” he tells you, and you nod. He looks at you for a moment, he already believes he knows what happened, but he asks you again, “What did they do to you?” You look at him for a moment, opening your mouth to talk but quickly closing it when you remember what happened. You look around, tears already welling up in your eyes again when you see his desk. You walk over to it, grabbing a post-it note and a pen, scribbling down what happened through tears. You hand it to him, sitting on his bed and holding your head in your hands. “They took your voice…” he whispers, nodding while reading what you wrote and covering his mouth. His assumptions were correct, and he immediately feels awful for you.

He sits next to you, pulling you into him. He holds you as you cry even more, trying to comfort you when he gets an idea. He holds up his index finger to you signifying you to give him one second, when he suddenly reaches for his ears. You look at him with curiosity, only to see him take his hearing aids out. He sits them on the nightstand next to his bed, turning to you. He points at his ears, shrugging and writing on the post it you wrote on. “Watch my lips.” You look at him, and he signs something to you. You do as he says and watch his lips, and you quickly realize he’s signing “Hello” to you. He motions toward himself, visually telling you to do it back to him. You sign “Hello” back to him, and he smiles. He reaches for his hearing aids again, putting them in again. “I can teach you ASL, you know. I’m fluent in it and you’re smart enough to do it,” he says quietly, and you look up at him. “It would just be ultimately easier for you to communicate, you know?” He wipes a tear from your cheek and gives you a small smile. “You can get through this. I know you can. And I’ll be right here with you the entire time. Always. You’re not alone.” You slowly nod, and he kisses the top of your head. “We’ll start tomorrow, you need to get some sleep,” he tells you. You nod, changing into his clothes and laying down next to him. He pulls you into him, humming a song to you to lull you to sleep.

It was difficult adjusting to your new life, and even more difficult learning ASL. You and Clint would practice all the time, but it still took a significant amount of time for you to become fluent in it. After about a year, you were becoming decently proficient at it. You still had a lot to learn, but you could communicate and get your points across. Although getting used to your new way of communication was taking work, Clint was making it as easy as possible for you. He frequently would take out his hearing aids now to make you feel like you weren’t alone. You get to know all the other Avengers, and actually manage to talk to Nat in ASL as well. Although Nat hated seeing one of her best friend’s struggle, seeing Clint help you out by taking his hearing aids out and making you feel not alone was one of the cutest things she sees. She also loves when Tony will try to get Clint’s attention when his hearing aids are out. It’s turned into Clint just pretending his hearing aids are out at this point, so he doesn’t have to talk to him. Nat never told anyone, but she saw how you two would refer to the rest of the Avengers, since you both had personalized names for everyone. Most of them were positive. Unless Stark made either one of you mad. Then it wasn’t as positive.

Although you were becoming adjusted to all of this, it was still very difficult for you at times. At times Clint would find you crying, and when he asked what was wrong, you’d tell him you missed singing. It was your own personal fear that he loved you less because you two couldn’t go sing together anymore because it played such a large role in your relationship. Any time you would communicate this to him, he would assure you he loved you for you, not your voice. He has to make sure you know that although he does miss singing duets with you and hearing your lovely voice, he would rather have you safe with him. He loved you, not just your voice. You thought it was funny how it changed from you being able to constantly assure him and make him feel like everything was going to be okay to him doing that to you. Granted, you still did assure and help him, but you never would have been able to deal with this if he hadn’t been there. You knew you would be able to handle anything now, as long as Clint was with you. And he is always with you.

[sapphicsaro]

anya || age of ultron

here is the next installment in the anya series. honestly this one is probably my favorite so far! 

anya || winter soldier

anya || civil war

---

“Alright, so we leave in the morning, party people! Rest up Avengers! Sokovia’s gonna be a cold one!” 

Tony was always too much when he ran meetings. Natasha much preferred when Steve did them; he was quick and stuck to the important parts. He didn’t throw in extras, didn’t call them nicknames, and he was professional. Tony, on the other hand, decided to make it a show. 

Natasha was tired. Clint was tired.

This was their first mission together as a full team since Anya was secretly born nine months ago. Natasha got back in the field a month and a half after giving birth, which might sound crazy, and it kind of was. 

She went with Steve to Belgrade to infiltrate a HYDRA project, and she felt off. Now, she was still the Black Widow and the mission was a success, but she was exhausted. She remained slightly sore from giving birth, and she hadn’t necessarily been the most active in the month after Anya was born. Steve noticed on the flight home that she was wincing more than usual, and when he asked if she was okay, she just said she was tired. Which was true.

She could tell he was suspicious, but it was Steve. He respected her privacy, and didn’t push. Like some other people.

Natasha did a few more missions, and then switched places with Clint when Anya hit three months. Natasha missed her baby, and Clint- well, Clint needed to get out of the house. Clint was such a great father, but boy, did that baby become his life. 

Their house was covered in baby things. Natasha enlisted Kate to keep an eye on him while she was gone, and Kate periodically would send her a video of him talking to Anya like she was an adult. The videos made her smile, but she knew he needed to get back in the field or he was going to go crazy. 

So, Natasha went to the farmhouse, and Clint went to Plovdiv with Steve and Tony. Tony kept saying that “the boys were back in town”, which pleased no one since Steve didn’t know the reference and Clint didn’t want to be there. He wanted to get back in the field, and he needed to go on this mission, but he missed his daughter. 

The first two months, Anya was on a tight schedule, and was too little to do much of anything besides cry, eat, and sleep. But, she was starting to smile now, and giggle, and Clint lost it. He loved that baby. When he was home, he hardly let her down. She was in his arms the entire day and he became a master at doing everything one-handed. 

When Natasha first left, she cried more at night. Clint had panicked the first time he had to put her to bed and she screamed. Unsure of what to do, he just started singing. Surprisingly, Anya quieted, and the next thing you know, she was knocked out in her crib. Clint was amazed. He did it. And all by himself, nonetheless. 

Kate stopped by two days after Natasha left, something about “Nat wants me to make sure you stay sane. I didn’t think you ever were, but I said I would.” Much to Clint’s surprise, she was great with the baby. Kate hesitated at first, saying that Anya looked so much like Natasha and it scared her, but, all joking aside, Kate acted like Anya’s big sister.

When Clint was away, Natasha told him everything would fine. But truthfully, Natasha had never been alone with her own child. Kate had permanently moved in, and she had noticed Natasha seemed unsure when she first arrived. Without patronizing her, Kate offered help; she showed the schedule Clint had Anya on and updated her on the stuffed animal that calmed her down the most and the song that would get her to sleep every time. 

La Vie En Rose. 

Natasha chuckled. That song. The song they first danced to on a mission in Paris. The song that made Clint confess his love for her. The song she played for him when he was in the hospital after an ambush on headquarters. The song he hummed when they fixed up the house right after buying it. Their wedding song.

And now, the song that transformed their screaming baby into a sleeping one in an instant. 

Of course. 

Natasha was grateful for Kate’s help, and after the first week, she felt confident alone with Anya. Although she wasn’t really alone, but give her a break, she was trying. 

Three months of swapping later, Clint and Natasha were enlisted to be on a mission together. Tony had mentioned that they both seemed off when they were away from the other, so “why not do a mission together!”

Great. 

Clint said they should just say no, and keep up with the swapping, but Natasha knew better. If they said no, Tony would assume that they were having “relationship problems” and become increasingly more annoying. So, they agreed. 

Anya was wrapped up in Kate’s arms when the two spies walked out the front door, both of them trying to resist running back in the house to squeeze their six month old baby one last time. 

The mission was a success, even though Natasha almost killed Tony for his insistent prodding. “Where have you guys been?” “Why don’t you stay at the tower anymore?” “Are the master assassins breaking up?”

Steve told him to knock it off, and thank god he did. Clint was a little nervous that Natasha was going to snap. After all, Tony was annoying to her before, but now add sleep deprivation from a baby to the mix and the combination was deadly.

When they got home, Kate was knocked out on the couch, baby monitor clenched in her hand while Anya was fast asleep in her crib. Clint carried Kate to her room, and Natasha snuck in the nursery, just to see Anya breathing heavily, eyes closed. 

Natasha heard the soft whimpers from the monitor in the morning, and she tiptoed to the nursery. When Anya saw her mother, she smiled widely, cooing and reaching her little arms out for her. Natasha picked her up and squeezed her tightly to her chest, Anya babbling away. 

“Yeah, little one, I’m excited to see you too,” she whispered, placing a soft kiss on her daughter’s cheek. 

Natasha carried her to her bedroom, where Clint was slowly waking up. She sat on the bed, Anya still babbling in her arms, “Look, маленький, it’s papa.”

Clint, still half asleep, smiled, “G’mornin, pigeon. And mama too.”

This was nice. 

Missions were nice too, but coming home to a cuddly baby was a treat that Natasha never thought about having before. When a mission was successful before Anya, Clint and her had a drink (okay, maybe a couple of drinks) and would have an aggressive amount of sex before the sun began to rise and then it was time to sleep. 

Coming home to Anya was the best present anyone could have given Natasha. It was therapeutic to go on a mission, kick the shit out of some garbage humans, ultimately foiling their plans of destroying the world, and then come back to an innocent little toddler, whose biggest crime was accidentally spilling her dinner all over the ground because she was too excited. 

Natasha and Clint went on a few more solo missions before the entire team was called in to go to Sokovia. Thor had been MIA for a while, along with Bruce, who hadn’t been out of the lab much since the battle of New York. It was actually nice to reunite with the team, even though they were only reuniting to shut down another HYDRA operation.

However, this was going to be the longest they were away from Anya, and it worried them both. Clint called Kate, making sure that she would be okay while they stayed in New York, and she assured him that Anya was perfectly safe at the house. He knew Kate would be able to protect her. Hell, he even built a panic room for them behind a secret wall in case something happened. Kate knew her way around weapons, too, so there was no way anything could happen to them. 

After the meeting, Natasha and Clint went back to their apartment, which had been practically untouched since she first discovered she was pregnant. 

“Woah.”

“I know,” Natasha said. 

It was jarring to see their modern apartment. It was almost a reflection of their old life; the one before Anya. 

Clint walked around the apartment, running his hands over the countertop. “This is weird.”

Natasha wasn’t really paying attention as she was exhausted and wanted nothing more than a good night’s sleep. “Mhmm,” she mumbled as she began stripping off her clothes, putting on a baggy t-shirt for bed. 

Clint remained in the main part of the home, still looking over the house in amazement. Natasha leaned against the doorframe of their bedroom, “You ready for bed, Hawkeye? We got an early call tomorrow.”

She caught his attention, snapping his focus away from their extremely hazardous apartment. Oh, the about of baby-proofing this would need, it would take weeks. “Sorry, yeah, I’m coming.”

Clint threw off his clothes, only leaving on his boxers to sleep in. He crawled into the bed with Natasha, pulling her close to him. He shoved his face in her short curls, mumbling a soft, “G’night…”

Natasha smiled, hands over his as she snuggled closer to him. She was silent for a moment, hearing his breathing deepen when she blurted out, “She had coughed before we left, what if-“

“Natasha, she’s fine. Kate can handle her.”

“A cough for a baby could be deadly, Clint. I’m just-”

“She is fine, Kate will call us if she needs us. Now, please it’s time to sleep.”

——— 

Clint got hit.

The Avengers were all over the place in the Sokovian snow fighting as hard as they could, and Clint got hit. 

Natasha slid over to him immediately, addressing his wounds right out in the field. He was wincing in pain, but she had to move quickly. Shots were still being fired, and thank god for the Hulk because he destroyed that bunker the instant Natasha asked. Clint kept trying to get back up, groaning through his efforts, but Natasha kept him lying down in the snow. 

“Stop moving or you’ll make it worse.”

The rest of the Avengers kept fighting around the two lovers, Natasha no longer paying attention to the sounds of destruction around her; Clint was her top priority. 

“I want to keep fighting,” he coughed out. 

“I know you do, but that’s not going to happen,” she scolded him as she continued to cover up his wound. He never got hit. Well, never is reaching, of course he’s been hit before, but he was distracted today. His head wasn’t on the mission, and she knew that. 

Clint grabbed her wrist as she finished up, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” 

“My mind is all over the place, I just-”

“Shhh. Clint, you just got hit. You’re going to be fine. The team is going to be fine. Stark is already handling things inside. We would just be on evacuation crew at this point anyways,” she had his hand wrapped in hers, the other brushing through his hair. 

Maybe that was a lie. The team could probably use the extra hands; it would probably make it go faster, but Natasha was not leaving her husband. He would be stupid and try to get up and rip his wound open more and bleed out and die and then Natasha would be a single mother and Anya would hate her forever for not helping save her father and- wow, Natasha should probably take a breath. 

Natasha never panicked this much when he got injured. Sure, she loved him and worried, but she would keep her cool for the most part until EVAC came. But now, Anya was a factor. Nine months of missions for them so far, and just now Natasha realized that they were in a new situation. Things weren’t like before. They had a child. If one of them got hurt, and god forbid, got killed, Anya would lose a parent. 

Clint could see her tense slightly, and he grabbed her hand, giving it a small kiss as he breathed through his pain. Fuck this hurt.

“Clint’s hit pretty bad, guys. We’re gonna need EVAC.” Her hands never left him. 

After a minute or two, Thor landed next to them, prepared to transport Clint. Banner was finally back from the Hulk, too, and came to help Thor move Clint to the jet. 

Stark and Steve arrived later, scepter in hand. 

The mission was a success. 

But then why was Natasha still anxious? 

She sat by him on the jet, checking his wound over and over again. He was resting at this point, so there wasn’t much talking, but he mumbled a few jokes back to the guys about his injury like it wasn’t serious. And it really wasn’t. But still. If the rest of the team knew about Anya, they wouldn’t joke about this. 

However, the team couldn’t know. Not yet. 

So, Natasha kept quiet, stayed by Clint, and laughed along with the boys for the remainder of the flight. 

They got him into the tower right away, Natasha never taking her hand off the gurney as they rolled him through the building to Banner’s lab. Clint was trying to keep an upbeat attitude as he noticed Natasha stayed silent. He knew she was worried; he’d been with her for years, he knew everything about her. 

He knew her habits, how she bottled up her emotions and tried to hide them behind her silence and lip chewing. He knew what her real smile looked like. He knew when she was tired she would would tap her fingers in a certain pattern to keep herself awake. He knew she would push her hair behind her ear when she first woke up. 

After the amount of time the spies had spent together, he’d be surprised if there was anything they didn’t know about the other. 

Cho was fixing him up with some fancy tech now, and Stark had gone to get them some weird drinks that he wouldn’t shut up about on the way over. 

“Are you sure he’s going to be okay? Pretending to need this guy really brings the team together,” Natasha teased, arms still crossed across her chest, but this time she had a small smile on her face. 

“There’s no possibility of deterioration. The nano-molecular functionality is instantaneous. His cells don’t know they’re bonding with simulacrum,” Cho responded.

Banner spoke up excitingly, “She’s creating tissue.”

Cho smiled back at Bruce, “If you brought him to my lab, the regeneration Cradle could do this in twenty minutes.”

“Oh, he’s flatlining. Call it. Time?” Stark had interrupted, drinks in hand. 

Handing one to the injured archer, Clint laughed, “No, no, no. I’m going to live forever. I’m gonna be made of plastic.”

“Here’s your beverage, birdie.”

“It better be spiked,” Clint joked. 

“You’ll be made of you, Mr. Barton. Your own girlfriend won’t be able to tell the difference,” Cho corrected them. 

Clint shifted his eyes to Natasha, who had a smirk plastered on her face, “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Oh Dr. Cho, didn’t you hear the word? Little birdie here and the scary spider in the corner are hitched. Not that they would have told you, though. I had to find out when they let it slip during a mission,” Tony said as he handed Natasha her drink. 

Her face was beyond annoyed, and Tony held up his hands in defeat, “Please spare me, I’m too important to die right now.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “I’d be careful, Tony, I know where you sleep.”

“Very true. But think about how much your ‘bff’ Pepper would miss my beautiful face.”

“I thought you two weren’t talking,” Clint piped up from the table. 

“What?” Natasha asked, moving off the counter. 

Tony shrugged, sipping at his drink again, “Long story. And you’re right, Cupid, we aren’t right now. But, we’ll be okay.”

“Are you okay?” Natasha asked.

“I will be.” 

Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a small smile, “You will.”

Sure, she wanted to kill him half the time, but Tony was a huge part of their team. He gave them all a home in his tower, took care of them, and genuinely worried about them when they were away. Natasha just enjoyed her privacy and Tony was a polar opposite to that. But, she did care about the guy. Especially since she knew how much he loved Pepper. 

“Anyways, the party is on Saturday. I expect you both there. Please?”

Clint looked at Natasha, “We’ll be there. We promise.”

————

“Nat, her cough has been gone since you left, I swear to god.”

“Is she crying though? Has she been fussy?”

“Nope. She is currently on her mat in the living room playing with her bear rather aggressively. She really is your ‘mini-me’, Nat.”

Clint chuckled and Nat shot him a death glare. Their phone was on speaker in the middle of the bed as the two got dressed for the party. 

“Ha. Ha. I love when you two gang up on me.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“You laughed, Clint.”

“Ooh, Barton. Bad move. At least I’m through the phone, she can’t punch me from here.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “Anyways. We’ll be home tomorrow. Probably later in the day, though. You swear you and Anya are good?”

“We’re both perfect. She has been on her schedule still, eating all her food, and sleeping through the night. I just put on the record now and she’s out like a light. Such a cultured baby you have, she falls asleep to French music.”

“Are you good, though? If you need anything, I’ll leave the party early,” Clint chimed in. 

“Yes, Barton. You and your lovely wife left me with a fully stocked home, I am good. Plus, I got the little asskicker to keep me company.”

“Do not call her that,” Clint laughed.

“Too late! Go get fucked up you two. I haven’t seen you alcoholics drink in so long, you deserve to get plastered tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Kate.”

“Bye, shithead.”

Natasha hung up the phone, “I don’t know how I deal with the two of you.”

Clint came up behind her, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist and kissing her neck, “Because you love us.”

Natasha leaned into his kiss, “Mhmm, I do?

Clint continued placing kisses down her neck, “I hope so.”

Natasha turned in his arms, now facing him. She threw her arms over his shoulders, leaning in to kiss him on the mouth. “I suppose I do.”

“You look so beautiful.”

“So do you,” Natasha teased. “How’s your side?”

“It’s good, I feel like a new man. How are you?”

Natasha closed the distance between them, placing her head on his chest, “I’m good.”

“You’ve been particularly quiet ever since we got back from Sokovia.”

“I just-I don’t know,” she mumbled against him.

Clint began to rub circles on her back, “You miss Anya?”

Natasha shrugged, “Yeah, of course. But it’s not that.”

Clint placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, careful not to mess up her hair she had done for tonight. “Then what is it?”

Natasha moved a hand under his jacket, fingers dancing over where his wound was previously located, “You got hurt and I panicked. Usually I stop worrying once you get fixed up, but for some reason I’ve been off still.”

“I get it.”

They held each other for a moment, Nat’s fingers still tracing his side and his arms still drawing circles on her lower back. They hadn’t had a lot of time for intimacy since she came back from D.C. over a year ago. There was the pregnancy and then Anya and then the constant missions that had taken over their focus. They hadn’t gotten time to spend with just each other. 

Clint was looking forward to the party, hoping that maybe Natasha would relax, drink for the first time in months, and take a deep breath. Clint needed to relax too. He didn’t tell Natasha about it, but when he got hit, he was scared too. The first thing he thought about was his daughter, and his anxiety went through the roof. But, he was fine. Anya was at home, and they were going to see her tomorrow. 

So, the two finally made it downstairs to Stark’s decked out party and immediately grabbed a couple of drinks. They parted ways for a bit, trying to reconnect with people they have hardly seen since they spent the majority of their time in Missouri. 

——— 

The party was fun. 

The Avengers got to let loose for once, getting a few drinks in them and having fun playing around like teenagers. There was some dancing, a lot of laughter, and even more alcohol. Natasha was currently snuggled up to Clint on the couch, most of the guests gone except for the team, Cho, Maria, and Rhodey. 

“It’s a trick!” Clint yelled at Thor, Natasha’s head resting on his shoulder. 

“Oh, no. It’s much more than that,” Thor replied, eyes locked on the hammer sitting on the table in front of them all.

“Uh, ‘whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!’ Whatever man! It’s a trick.” Natasha giggled at Clint’s teases, knowing that the alcohol the two had consumed was relaxing them both. 

Thor threw up his hands, “Well please, be my guest.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “Come on.”

“Really?” Clint asked.

Thor chuckled, “Yeah.”

Clint slid out from under Natasha, who sat up, now interested in the challenge Thor had created. 

Rhodey laughed as the archer walked towards the hammer, “Oh this is gonna be beautiful.”

“Clint, you’ve had a tough week, we won’t hold it against you if you can’t get it up,” Tony teased.

Clint smirked, “You know I’ve seen this before, right?” He placed his hands around the handle, pulling as hard as he could, until he realized it wasn’t going to happen. He shook his head, laughing, “I still don’t know how you do it.”

“Smell the silent judgment?” Tony asked, sipping at his drink.

Clint held his hand out to Tony, “Please, Stark, by all means.” He went back to his spot on the couch, and Natasha immediately returned to her old position in his arms. 

She tucked her head into his shoulder again, “Oh, here we go.” 

Tony tried, and failed. 

Then he got the suit, and failed again. 

Then him and Rhodey tried together, and failed, together.  

Then Banner tried, and failed. For a moment they all waited for their “big green friend” to show up, but Bruce remained the only guest as the hammer stayed put on the table.

Then Steve went and it budged a little, but still did not lift from the table. Oh well.

Banner turned to Natasha, who was practically on top of Clint at this point, “Widow?”

She shook her head, “Oh, no, no. That’s not a question I need answered.” Clint leaned down and gave her a kiss, and she curled back into him. 

Steve looked at the two, smiling at them. This was the most publicly intimate they had ever been in front of the team and he enjoyed it. For two people who usually kept to themselves, it was good to know they still had a lot of love for each other. 

“All deference to the man who wouldn’t be king, but it’s rigged,” Tony said.

Clint lifted his head up from Natasha, “You bet your ass.” 

Maria chuckled, “Steve! He said a bad language word!”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Did you tell everyone about that?” 

Tony ignored Steve, shifting his focus back to Thor, “The handle’s imprinted, right? Like a security code. ‘Whosoever is carrying Thor’s fingerprints’ is, I think, the literal translation?”

Clint pointed at Tony, nodding in agreement. 

Thor laughed, getting up and shaking his head, “Yes, well that’s, uh, that’s a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one.” He grabs the hammer, flipping it in his hands. “You’re all not worthy.”

The group groans, when suddenly a loud screech grabs their attention and everyone covers their ears. It begins to fade away, when they see it. 

A robot…moving and speaking to them?

“Worthy…No…How could you be worthy? You’re all killers.”

Natasha sat up, and Clint held her arm, noticing her tense up. 

“Stark?” Steve chimed in.

“JARVIS.” Tony shifted from his carefree attitude to one more focused and serious. 

The robot kept moving, even in it’s seemingly broken state, “I’m sorry, I was asleep. Or…I was a-dream?” 

Tony was tapping vigorously tapping his devices, “Reboot, Legionnaire OS, we got a buggy suit.”

“There was a terrible noise…and I was tangled in…in…strings. I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy.”

Natasha clasped onto Clint’s forearm tightly. 

“You killed someone?” Steve asked, trying to keep the order.

“Wouldn’t have been my first call. But, down in the real world, we’re faced with ugly choices.”

Thor grabbed his hammer tighter, “Who sent you?”

The robot began playing a recording, it was Tony’s voice: “I see a suit of armor around the world.”

Banner interrupted, “Ultron!”

Ultron spoke back, “In the flesh. Or, no, not yet. Not this…chrysalis. But I’m on a mission.”

“What mission?” Natasha asked.

“Peace in our time.” 

Just then, the Iron Legion bots smashed through the walls around Ultron and began attacking the team. Clint grabbed Natasha, and pulled her over the bar, where he slipped and landed on top of her.

“Don’t die.”

“I won’t,” he reassured her. 

“Come on,” she grabbed him and began running up the stairs. The Iron Legion continued shooting and attacking the team, continuously stated they were “here to help”. 

Yeah, that was bullshit.

Stark was working hard to shut down all of the suits, when Clint found Cap’s shield and tossed it to him as Steve dismembered the last Iron Legion. 

“That was dramatic! I’m sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn’t think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don’t want it to change. How is humanity saved if it’s not allowed to…evolve?” Ultron grabbed a part of one of the dismantled Iron Legion, “With these? These puppets? There’s only one path to peace: The Avengers’ extinction.”

Without waiting, Thor threw his hammer directly at Ultron, destroying his body. But he was still alive, as they heard his voice sing, “I had strings, but now I’m free. There are no strings on me…”

————

“We won’t make it home tonight, I’m sorry Kate.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes. No. It’s-it’s…complicated?”

 “Well, stay safe Barton. Anya is almost calling me ‘papa’ and I do NOT want that to stick.”

“We’ll be home as soon as we can, I promise.”

“Good. Oh, hold on one sec, Anya is putting the remote in her mouth.”

Clint stayed on the phone, turning his focus back to the team. After last night’s fiasco, they were exhausted but they had been doing everything in their power to try to locate where Ultron was and what he had done. He had got in all of their files, he was getting smarter. 

But where was he? 

They had been fighting. Thor was not happy that Tony had been the one to create this nightmare, and Clint kind of agreed. He knew Tony meant well, but this, this got out of hand. The scepter was gone, their team was arguing, and now there was a demonic robot thing that wanted them all dead.

Clint was supposed to be home. 

Him and Nat were supposed to be on their way back to Missouri. They would arrive home later tonight, see their little girl, make dinner and give Kate a break. Clint would shoot some arrows with her in the backyard while Natasha cuddled with Anya on the porch. 

“I’m back. Anya is wicked smart. She just pointed to the phone and said ‘mama’. I know, technically, it’s you, but still! Nine months? She’s practically a genius! Aren’t you, little spider?”

“Don’t let her do too much before we come back.”

“Barton, we might have something.” Steve came around the corner, staring at him. 

“Gotta go.” He hung up the phone. 

“Who was that?”

Shit. 

“My brother.” Nice save, Barton. Let’s bring up Barney, why don’t you?

Steve didn’t give much of a response, knowing that Barton was more private about his personal life and directed him to the rest of the team where they discussed where Ultron was going next. 

Africa.

Man, that was a long way from Missouri. 

——— 

This was supposed to be an easy mission. Grab Ultron, kill him, get the scepter. 

Now the punk kids were back and Clint was too old for this shit. He got the girl before she manipulated his mind. Jesus, he missed his days at SHIELD when the worst injury was being shot. But nope, now he had to fight magic people with “powers” and other nonsense, like mind control. He was not letting that happen again, nope. No, thanks, he did that once. 

The stupid fast one knocked him off his feet and sped off with the girl. “Yeah, you better run,” he groaned from the ground. As he slowly got back on his feet, he called over his comm, “Whoever’s standing, we gotta move! Guys?”

Thor was gone. 

Cap was gone. 

It was quiet. 

Where was Nat?

Clint ran around, bow ready to fire as he searched for his wife. 

Then he spotted her. 

That little shit got her. 

Natasha was in a trance, stumbling through the room; she looked like she was having a panic attack.

“Tasha? Tasha!” Clint put away his arrows and threw his bow over his shoulder, going towards her. 

She flinched as he placed a hand on her shoulder, “нет…нет…”

Clint was careful, moving slowly, “Tasha, it’s me, it’s Clint.”

She was shaking her head furiously, eyes wide with fear, “Red…room…”

Clint was gonna kill that mind controlling little fuck. 

He picked her up and she began kicking and hitting him viciously in his arms, as he brought her to sit on the stairs near them. Once seated, she stopped fighting him and was now shaking, still in the same trance. “Tasha, Tasha, you’re not in Russia anymore. You’re safe.”

She was stuck.

He cupped her face in his hands, as his eyes followed her; she couldn’t see him through her vision. 

“Natasha, I could really use that trick you know to get Banner back,” Tony asked over the comm.

“Well, that’s not gonna happen, Stark. Not for a while. The whole team is down, you got no back up here,” he stayed focused on Natasha, who was whimpering slightly. 

“Tasha, please come back to me. You’re not in the Red Room anymore. You are my wife. You are an Avenger. We have a beautiful daughter together. C’mon,” he pled. 

It didn’t work. 

Clint gave up; this wasn’t like her old nightmares. His old remedies weren’t working, this was much stronger. He threw her arm over his shoulder and picked her up bridal style to bring her back to the quinjet. 

As he headed back, he ran into Steve and Thor. Thor almost threw his hammer at him, but he snapped out of his vision, eyes still wide. What the hell did he see?

Steve was eerily quiet. He didn’t attack, but he looked upset. 

Clint, with Natasha still in his arms, guided them back to the jet. The Hulk was still destroying the city, but there was no way any of them could help. Not in this state. 

Thor immediately took a seat when he got on board, along with Steve. They stayed silent. Clint gently placed Natasha in her own seat, kneeling down in front of her, “Tasha, sweetie, can you hear me?”

She nodded slowly, but she was still numb. 

“We failed…What do we do?” Thor had mumbled from the other seat, clearly still recovering.

To be honest, Clint didn’t know what they were going to do. This was a big fuck up for the Avengers. The Hulk was under mind control and was now unleashed on the city. Stark was trying his best to stop it from getting worse, but they were screwed. 

They would need to hide. 

If only he was home. 

Clint waited with Natasha, who was now at least more aware of where she was now, but she was still shaken. He was on the floor in front of her, her hands in his as she continued to shake. 

Steve and Thor still did not speak. 

A loud bang later, Tony stepped onto the quinjet, an unconscious Banner flopping in his arms. “We’re fucked,” he said as he placed Banner down. “Come on, birdie, let’s get this thing far away from here.”

Clint left Natasha, who didn’t move at all, and got into the pilot seat. “Where to?”

Tony threw his hands up in defeat, “Honestly, I have no fucking clue.”

Clint got the jet off the ground and just began flying away, heading back towards the states. He had been flying for over an hour when he realized he knew where they could go. 

Should they?

He glanced back at the team who all looked so defeated. 

Yep. He had to do this. 

After a bit, Tony was on the phone with Maria. 

“The news is loving you guys. Nobody else is. There’s been no official call for Banner’s arrest, but it’s in the air.”

“Stark Relief Foundation?”

“Already on the scene. How’s the team?”

“Everyone’s…” Tony glanced around at his team who remained silent. “We took a hit. We’ll shake it off.”

“Well for now I’d stay in stealth mode, and stay away from here.”

“So run and hide?”

“Until we can find Ultron, I don’t have a lot else to offer.”

“Neither do we,” he switches off the monitor, ending the call with Maria. He made his way towards Clint, “Hey, you wanna switch out?”

Clint shook his head, “No, I’m good. If you wanna get some kip, now’s a good time, cause we’re still a few hours out.” 

“A few hours from where?”

“A safehouse.”

See you soon, Missouri. 

———— 

When they landed, the team was still relatively quiet, especially Banner and Natasha. Clint nudged Tony awake, before helping Natasha up. “We’re here. C’mon,” he told everyone.

He guided Natasha in his arms down the familiar path to their home, but this time, the rest of the Avengers followed. 

Thor looked around, “What is this place?”

Tony shrugged, “A safe house?”

“Let’s hope,” Clint replied. 

As they neared the house, Clint heard Kate’s voice through the door, “TAKE ONE MORE STEP AND I BLOW OUT YOUR BRAINS!”

The front door swung open, and there she stood, gun pointed at the group. 

It took her one second to recognize who was all in front of her. “Barton?!”

Clint smiled awkwardly, Natasha still in his arms, “Hey Kate.”

Kate unloaded the gun, putting the safety back on, before shoving it in the back of her pants, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Can’t you call? Or text? Or do anything to warn me you’re coming back?!”

Clint made his way up the front steps, the team slowly following his lead, as Clint followed Kate into their home. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know we were going to be back. The mission went a little…awry?” Clint had set Natasha down on the couch, and Kate’s eyes followed him.

“Is she...”

“She’ll be fine. Where’s pigeon?”

“Panic room. I saw a fucking spaceship and a gaggle of people leave it, I thought we were getting ambushed.”

Steve didn’t say anything, just observed what was happening around him. Thor and Banner still were shaken from the mind control. 

Tony, on the other hand, was confused as all hell and needed answers, “Wait, who are you? Where are we?”

Clint started walking away, towards the panic room, “Missouri. And that’s Kate.”

Kate smiled and gave a small wave, “Hello, Avengers.”

“Kate? Kate who?”

“Kate Bishop. You know, Hawkeye 2.0? The cooler, way more attractive, and better in every way one? You’ve never heard of me?”

Tony shook his head, “Are you…an agent?”

Kate scoffed, “No, I’m not an agent. I’m 17, man. No, I’m like a…wannabe hero? That’s what Fury calls me. Old man Barton is supposed to be training me and sending me out on missions with him, but instead I’m turning into a glorified babysitter.”

Clint came around the corner, Anya snuggled into his arms, “Hey, hey, hey, I’ll take you on a mission when you’re ready.”

The whole team was shocked to see Clint casually walking in with a baby in his arms. 

“I’m sorry, what is that?” Tony asked, pointing a finger at Anya.

Clint went towards Natasha, “She’s our daughter.” Clint bent down in front of Natasha, little Anya cooing in his arms, “Tasha, someone wants to say hi.”

Natasha’s eyes finally snapped out of her visions, landing directly on the baby reaching for her in Clint’s eyes. She looked at Clint, registering that they were now home. Kate stood back, nervously watching the assassin adjust back to reality. 

Anya was mumbling, before she landed on, “Mama, mama.”

Natasha’s body unfroze and her hands moved to grab the toddler from her father. She held onto her tightly, and Anya grabbed at her curls, giggling and babbling away. 

The other Avengers didn’t know what to say. 

Steve was shocked, but amazed? He stared intently, looking at his friend holding her daughter, and didn’t know what to think. Wait, was she pregnant in D.C.? Steve stayed silent, just watching the domesticity of it all. The house, their house, apparently, was covered in baby items. It didn’t feel real. They hid a baby, and pregnancy, from the team? 

Banner didn’t know what to say. He felt like he didn’t belong here. Not after what he had just done. And now, Natasha and Clint, brought him in their (secret) home, which had their little baby in it. He had just caused so much destruction and then trusted him here? He didn’t belong…he didn’t belong…

Thor was out of it. The minute he heard Anya’s cooing he flashed back to his vision, seeing all the death and destruction of Asgard around him. He had to leave.

“When the hell were you going to tell us about this?” Tony wasn’t afraid to speak up. He was pissed. Not like a real pissed off, but more like a worried pissed off where you are frustrated that someone wouldn’t trust you with their biggest secrets. Yeah, THAT kind. 

Clint stood up, leaving Anya in her mother’s arms, “We didn’t know.”

“You went on missions. You just got up and left your baby here and went right into a battlefield where you could have died, and didn’t decide to inform the team AT ALL-”

“Tony, please. We were trying to protect her. After D.C.-after the fall of SHIELD, we didn’t know who to trust.”

“US! Your team!” 

“Tony, we were just doing what we thought was best. And clearly she was safe here since no one, not even you knew about or found her,” Clint rebutted. 

Tony took a deep breath, he wasn’t going to admit Clint had a point. “How long have you had this place?”

“Fury helped set it up years ago. Long before the Avengers.”

“How old is she?”

“Anya? Anya’s nine months,” Clint glanced at his daughter who was still smiling at her mother. 

“Nine months…wow. I don’t know what to say,” Tony responded, shaking his head slowly.

Kate cleared her throat, “I can make some coffee or tea if you guys drink that kind of stuff?”

————

Natasha hardly let Anya down; she couldn’t. 

She had spent hours trapped in her head, trapped back in the Red Room, reliving her training, her graduation ceremony, everything. 

She needed a reminder that she wasn’t there anymore. And Anya was the best remedy for that. She loved Clint and her team, but Anya didn’t ask her questions. Anya just giggled and babbled and smiled at her, because she didn’t know that there was any evil in the world at all. 

Anya only wanted to snuggle with her mother, and Natasha was going to do just that. 

Clint did take Anya from her for a second, just to make sure Natasha got out of her uniform and into some sweats, but Natasha got her right back. 

Thank god it was still light out when they got back. Natasha took Anya outside, as Tony and Steve started to chop wood nearby. Thor had left to “figure something out”, and Banner had shut himself in the bedroom, saying that he just needed some time alone. Natasha would have to check on him later. 

Clint got a text from Fury. He had arrived to discuss their plans for Ultron with Tony. He was in the barn, knowing that Tony would try like hell to ignore him. 

“Hey, lady bird, you want a mission?”

Kate rolled her eyes, “That was a weak nickname.”

“Just answer the question, dumbass.”

“Sure.” 

“Fury’s hiding in the barn, he needs to talk to Stark. Get him in the barn without him making him suspicious. Think you can handle it?”

Kate smiled, “Ooh, lying, how fun. I can do that. I do that all the time when I tell you that those flannels look fine on you.”

Clint nudged her shoulder, “You ass, just do it.”

“I’m going, I’m going!” 

Clint watched Kate make her way over to Tony as he cleaned up the bow and arrows before making his way up the the porch. He leaned down to give Natasha and Anya each a kiss, “Hello ladies.”

“Hi,” Natasha replied. 

Clint took a seat next to her on the porch bench, “Are you okay?”

Natasha looked down at the toddler in her lap, “I just needed to see her. I was stuck for so long.”

“I figured she would help. I’m sorry I exposed our secret life, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I understand.” 

“Papa,” Anya cooed, reaching out for her father. Clint bent down, getting level with her, touching his face to hers. “Hi pretty girl.”

Anya smiled, “Papa!”

“Yeah that’s me, pigeon.”

Natasha half-smiled, how did Clint and her make such a happy baby? 

Kate trotted back from the barn, Tony no where in sight. “Wow, thank you so much for that mission, I feel fulfilled.” She took a seat on the deck in front of Natasha, giving one of her hands to the babbling toddler in front of her as she made faces at Anya.

Clint rolled his eyes, “I told you, I’ll-”

“Take me when I’m ‘ready’, I know. Whenever the hell that’ll be,” she stood up and stormed into the house, letting the front door slam behind her. 

“Nice going daddy,” Natasha teased, turning Anya to face her now. 

“Daddy? I am not Kate’s father.”

“Then why are you acting like it?” Natasha asked, focusing on Anya, who was gripping onto her mother’s curls. 

Clint huffed, “I am not. I just worry about her. I don’t think she’s ready yet.”

“Then make her ready. Train her.”

“Nat, she’s too young-”

“We were both way younger when we started. In one year, she’s legally an adult. And you better wake up to the fact that she’s a part of our lives now. You can’t protect her forever.” Natasha got up, noticing Steve walk towards the porch and walked inside with him.

Clint flopped back against the bench, “Shit.”

———— 

Even though Kate was still upset, she acted like she was fine as dinnertime rolled around. Bruce had finally emerged from his room to help Clint make dinner, which was pasta, the only item of food they had enough of to feed this many people. As the rest of the Avengers had changed and gathered in the kitchen, Clint answered more of Tony’s questions, sharing the whole story of Anya and the house. Kate opened up too, telling the team about how she got discovered by Hawkeye, and ended up in this house. 

Natasha was back to her usual self, staying quiet, and keeping to her herself. Except now she courted around a baby. It was a little odd for her to show this side of herself to the Avengers. She was still the same tough person, she just…had a baby? What was so weird about that? Maybe it was the fact that Anya was such a giggly baby and seeing her sit on her stone faced mother’s lap was the problem. Whatever. 

This is also why she didn’t want to tell the team.

She didn’t want them to see her any different than before. She didn’t want them to think Anya was a weakness or an obstacle. She wanted everything to be like before, except that Anya was here. 

When dinner was finally ready, everyone sat around their dining room table, the most full their table had ever been. She ate dinner carefully, Anya on her lap trying to grab at her pasta. Natasha would give her a noodle between her bites, watching the baby like a hawk to make sure she didn’t choke. 

They didn’t talk about Ultron at all. They just sat, ate their pasta, and swapped stories. 

It was kind of hard to believe there was still a demonic robot that was out there, waiting to kill them all.

When dinner was done, Natasha handed Anya to Clint, as she told Kate to help clean up. Steve got up when he heard Natasha, and immediately went to the sink to start washing the dishes with Kate. Natasha stepped back, letting Steve help, and instead picked up the table, putting the various items back in the fridge and pantry. 

As Steve and Kate finished up the dishes, Natasha went to the living room to find Clint playing on the floor with Anya. He laid on the floor, letting her crawl on top of him, as he covered his face with her baby blanket. She ripped it away to reveal Clint making a silly face, and she lost it. Her little giggles filled the living room as Tony sat back watching him. Bruce stood in the corner, far away from Anya, watching Clint with her silently, a smile on his face.

“You know, she doesn’t bite like I do. You don’t have to be scared of her,” Natasha said, walking right up to Bruce, startling him slightly. 

He flinched before realizing it was Natasha, and smiled again, “She’s really cute, Nat.”

“Play with her, then.”

Bruce looked at Natasha, shaking his head, “No, no, I can’t, I’m-”

Natasha grabbed his hand, “It was a bad day. We all have them. You’re not a monster.”

Bruce glanced at her hand on his, and then looked up at her, “Thank you.”

She smiled back at him, “No need to thank me. Now, here-“ She grabbed a small bear that rested on the end table, “-take this to her, she loves it.”

 Bruce held the stuffed animal in his hand, his face uneasy. He fiddled around in his hands, glancing at Natasha again, who nodded, as if she was telling him “you’re okay”. Bruce took a deep breath and walked over to the giggling Anya, bending down to her. She stopped laughing, and quieted, as if she was analyzing the man in front of her. 

Like mother, like daughter.

Bruce swallowed the lump in his throat, before holding out the little bear to her, “I heard you liked this.”

A tiny smile came across the toddler’s face as she launched herself at Bruce, knocking him down. “M’bear!” 

Bruce let out a laugh from the ground, letting Anya sit on his chest, “Yeah, ha, it’s your bear.”

Clint sat up, “I should have warned you, she likes to attack people. We have no clue where that came from…”

Natasha glared at him and crossed her arms, as Clint stood up to give her a kiss on her pouty lips. “Probably her dad, right?”

Natasha smirked, “I’m so close to punching you.” Despite her remark, she gave him a small kiss on the lips before they turned, hearing their daughter shriek in a fit of laughter, still on top of Bruce as he played with her and her bear. 

———— 

A few hours went by and Anya was now laying against her mother’s chest, her eyes fluttering open and shut as she tried to fight off her exhaustion. Natasha rubbed her daughter’s back as she sat back in the dining room, the rest of the team around her discussing their next moves. 

They couldn’t exactly locate Ultron; he was everywhere. He kept trying to launch the nuclear missiles, but the codes kept getting changed, thank god. The Avengers didn’t have their normal resources anymore, instead, they were in a farmhouse dining room, no internet or even landlines to connect them to the outside world. They were doing this old school. 

Anya’s breathing got heavier as Natasha continued her circles on her back, “When you two programmed him to protect the human race, you amazingly failed.”

Bruce shook his head, “They don’t need to be protected, they need to evolve. Ultron’s going to evolve.”

“How?” Fury asked.

“Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?” They all shook their heads. Bruce nodded, “Well, we should go do that.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at Banner, “Korea?”

“It’s our best shot,” Bruce replied, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Well, let’s go. Wheels up in an hour?” Tony asked, surveying the room. Everyone nodded in response and got up from where they were seated.

Clint followed Natasha out of the dining room, placing a hand on the small of her back as Anya was officially knocked out. As they neared the stairs, Clint noticed Kate sitting on the porch outside. “You take her up, I got something to fix before we leave,” he said, gesturing to the teen who sat with her arms crossed, a pout plastered on her face. 

Natasha smiled and went up the stairs, taking her time to make sure Anya stayed snoring softly. 

“Hey, loser,” Clint teased, leaning against the railing across from where Kate sat. 

“What do you want?” She didn’t look up.

“You looked upset, I just wanted to check on you before we left.”

Kate chuckled, “Of course. Where to now, hmm? How long do I get the pleasure of being trapped here before you finally get off your ass and actually take me on a mission?”

“Watch your mouth, missy.”

“Fuck you.” She was staring at him now, eyes watering. 

There was a heavy silence between the two. 

“Why are you this mad? I thought you didn’t mind being here?”

Kate looked up at him, “I don’t. I love Anya and the house, it’s just-why won’t you let me go on a mission?” 

“You’re not ready-”

“STOP! Stop fucking saying that! The only reason I’m not ready is because you refuse to train me like you promise me five years ago!” She stood up, still face to face with him, but she was fuming. “Why am I in your life? Why did you take me in at 12? You told me you were going to train me and give me a better life, but you DIDN’T! YOU LIED!” She began hitting Clint as tears streamed down her cheeks, her cries becoming louder.

Clint grabbed her wrists, trying to stop her punches, “Kate, I’m sorry-”

“YOU’RE NOT MY DAD! YOU’RE NOT-“ Her cries increased, and she choked on her words, ultimately giving up and falling into his chest. She sobbed uncontrollably as Clint held her tightly to him.

“I’m sorry, Kate, I’m so sorry…” 

——— 

Anya was out like a light. Natasha knew Clint was still outside with Kate, and she should have just put Anya in her crib, flicked off the light and got ready for Korea. 

So why was she sitting in the rocking chair, still holding onto her baby so tightly? 

“Knock, knock,” Steve said, leaning against the doorframe. “She left these downstairs, I didn’t know if you wanted them?” He presented Anya’s little bear and baby blanket, a small smile on his face.

Natasha nodded, gesturing for him to come in, “Thank you.” 

Steve came inside the nursery, looking around at all the furniture and toys scattered throughout the pale yellow room. “I know, it’s weird,” Natasha said, Anya still in her arms.

“No, no-” She raised her eyebrows at him. “Yeah, okay maybe a little.”

Natasha smiled, “It was weird for me too, believe me.”

“Were you pregnant in D.C.?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know. We found out later.”

Steve nodded, and a small silence fell in the room. He looked down at the bear still in his hand, he wish she told him. 

“Please don’t look at me any different, though. I’m still the same Natasha. I just have extra cargo now.”

Steve chuckled, “I’ll try not to.”

Natasha ran her hands through her daughters short strawberry blonde curls as she stayed knocked out. “I didn’t want her at first.” Steve locked eyes with her, and she bit her her bottom lip before continuing, “I thought I couldn’t be a mother. I was a murderer. But there was this part of me that was lost after D.C.; I didn’t know what path to take. Or even if there was a path for me to take. I thought maybe the public would always see me as the monster I was before and I could never be an Avenger again. I was only going to hide here until the chaos settled and I could go back, but then I found out I was pregnant. Having a baby seemed too hard, and not like me at all, so I was ready to get rid of it and move on to my next mission. But, there was this part of me that thought a baby could be my next mission. The timing of it all seemed too perfect for me to not give it more time to think. And as time went by, the baby grew, and Clint started building the nursery. We hardly talked about the baby; we didn’t even talk about names until I was six months pregnant.”

“Wow.”

“I know. And even though I was becoming more used to the idea of a baby, I never got fully attached until she was born. When I first held her, I forgot I was a killer. I forgot all of the terrible shit I’ve done and all I saw was this innocent human in front of me that I made. I saw Clint and myself in her tiny face and knew I was going to protect her until the day I died. She didn’t make me any less of a fighter, she made me stronger. She helped me grow. I was still the same tough person, but now I had a reason to fight. And after every mission, I got a reminder of why I do what I do anytime I saw her smile. I’ll never be the conventional mother who stays at home all day and bakes brownies and sings along to cartoons, but I’m trying my best to give her a good life and keep her safe.”

“You are doing great.”

“Am I? Because the minute I put her down I have to get ready to fight a robot in Korea,” Natasha looked Anya, the toddler’s little mouth open as she slept. 

“You’re fighting for her. If Ultron gets his hands on those codes, we’re all done for.” Natasha squeezed Anya gently, as Steve continued, “You’re doing your job. And when you’re done, she’ll be here ready to be in your arms again.”

Steve placed the bear and blanket in the crib, “C’mon.”

Natasha stood up slowly from the rocking chair, careful not to wake Anya, as she walked to the crib and slowly placed her down. She pulled the blanket over her body and tucked the bear in her arm. Natasha bent down and gave her a kiss on the forehead, “Goodnight, маленький.” 

Clint peeked his head in the door, “She out?”

Steve nodded, holding a finger to his lips. Clint tiptoed to the crib next to Natasha and gave Anya a kiss on the cheek. “Night, night pidgey, I’ll see you soon.”

The three left the nursery, Steve going downstairs, while Natasha and Clint went to their bedroom. Clint got their duffle bag as Natasha starting tossing stuff on the bed. 

“Kate okay?”

Clint continued to hastily fold the clothes and toss them in the bag, “For now. When we get back, I got to give her some more attention. And get her on the field finally.”

Natasha smiled as she grabbed their uniforms, “Good.”

Clint took the uniforms out of her hands and placed them in bag, “I feel bad leaving her, but if we don’t find Ultron, we’re all dust.”

“Exactly,” Natasha said as she grabbed his bow and arrow from the closet and placed in on the bed. “The girls will be okay without us. We have to finish this mission.”

“Then back home?” Clint asked, grabbing her hand. 

Natasha squeezed his hand, “You know it.”

[jupitermelichios]

Ragnarok Remix

So a lot of you will probably already know that I really don’t like Ragnarok as a movie, and I thought it would be an interesting exercise to try and rewrite the plot to see if I could come up with something I’m happier with. I did the same thing for Star Wars Episode 1 a couple of years ago and it was a lot of fun.

I’ve kept most of the shape of the story, since the structure is really good, and a lot of the scenes. The main change is swapping out Hella for a different villain because that character isn’t Hella in any recognisable way, and using that name added nothing to the character and hobbled them in terms of what stories they could tell in the future, as well as cutting off the entire Tenth Realm stuff and the associated characters. I’ve also swapped a lot of Odin’s scenes with Frigga, because frankly Odin doesn’t deserve the Morgan Freeman treatment they gave him. The final big change was to Loki’s timeline. Given the nature of NDAs at Disney, they may well not have known that Loki was due to be killed off, and since we do know that now, I wanted to give him more character beats so that he was in a place where killing him off made more sense, and we therefore could do kid!Loki in the future rather than just bringing back Hiddles from the dead for the fourth time.

Anyway, this is mostly just a writing exercise. Hopefully even if you like Ragnarok, you might find it interesting.

So Thor still goes to Muspelheim, and everything plays out the same except for a throwaway mention of Thor being Odin’s second born child from Surtr. (I would also change the thing where Thor doesn’t know Surtr exists, because honestly not knowing who rules one of Asgard’s client kingdoms is exactly the kind of shit Thor was supposed to have grown out of in Dark World).

He goes home, finds Loki pretending to be Odin and reveals his disguise. They go to earth to find Odin, but when they get to the nursing home he’s not there. The nonsense with Strange happens, because a lot of people didn’t bother to see his solo movie so he’s got to be here as well so that audiences know who he is before IW, but instead of sending them to Norway, they get sent to Monte-Carlo.

Thor tries to get Loki to apologise to Odin, but Odin seems largely disinterested and when they try and persuade him to come home, he says he feels like seeing the world instead and one of them can be king in his place. Odin’s whole manner is shifty, and the audience is left with the impression that he knows something he’s not telling.

The siblings start to fight over which of them will be the one to rule, while Thor also keeps trying to persuade his father to return, when they’re suddenly picked up by the rainbow bridge and whisked back to Asgard but a visibly frightened Skurge.

They find Hogun in the bridge chamber, seriously injured. He tells them that he was leading a scouting party to investigate rumours of a monster being seen on the outskirts of Asgard. Through a mix of exposition and flashback we learn that the rumours were true and the whole party were wiped out except him, who managed to escape by calling the Rainbow bridge, however he lost a leg in the transport as it was hurried and Skurge doesn’t have Heimdall’s eyes. This allows us to establish the ‘don’t leave the bridge while it’s moving’ thing.

Hogun dies in Thor’s arms, and Thor swears revenge. Dragging Loki with him, he gathers Sif and the remaining warriors Three and gets Skurge to transport them to somewhere close to the site of the last sighting, but not so close that we don’t have time for a couple of quick character beats to remind the audience who the three are and get them invested.

They find the monster and try to fight it but it’s crazy strong. Thor tries to send Sif home to rally the troops there but she refuses, so Volstagg goes, promising to send help. They continue trying to fight and Fandrall is killed. When Mangog destroys Mjolnir, Sif realises there’s no hope and calls for a rainbow bridge. Thor tries to pull her in with them but she refuses to go and he looses an arm in the beam (if we’re doing King Thor, we’re committing to full King Thor). The Mangog reaches into the beam and tries again to kill them. Sif distracts it, saving their lives, but Thor is knocked out and he and Loki are both pushed out of the beam.

While he’s unconscious, Thor has a vision of his mother. She’s in her chambers in Asgard weaving a tapestry. When he asks her how he can be seeing her when she’s dead, she just reminds him that she’s a goddess. Thor tells her what’s happened, and she names the Mangog for the first time. She tells him that while mortals answer to gods, gods answer to the mangog, who exists to punish their sins. When Thor asks what sins Asgard as committed, Frigga asks him whether he thought the conquest of the other nine realms was achieved bloodlessly, but doesn’t elaborate further. Before wakes up, Thor sees that the tapestry she’s weaving shows Frigga and Odin with not two but three children, himself and Loki, plus a redheaded girl. When he touches the figure of the girl, she fades out of the picture.

Thor wakes up on Sakaar, and gets picked up by Valkyrie who takes him to see the Grandmaster. Unlike in the original, the Grandmaster seems to know who he is, although when Thor says he’s from the nine realms the Grandmaster keeps trying to correct him, insisting there’s ten realms not nine. He’s also accompanied by a dark-haired woman who Thor is convinced is Loki, but who refuses to acknowledge him. We see Thor being prepared for battle, but rather than a haircut, it’s getting a metal cap put over the stump of his missing arm. He realises Valkyrie is a Valkyrie (but based on her tattoos rather than her sword this time) and tries to persuade her to fight for Asgard but she refuses.

We cut back to Asgard, where Volstagg has assembled an army to try and slow down the Mangog. We see him saying goodbye to his wife and their many children. We discover that Sif survived and made it home, but is badly wounded. She tries to argue that she should accompany the army, but Volstagg refuses, saying that Thor would want her to be regent in his absence, since there’s no one else he trusts more than her.

In the gladiator tunnels on Sakaar Thor meets Korg and Miek, since they were the best bit of that film, but we also get a cameo for Raava the Unskrulled. (If you haven’t read Black Bolt, she’s a female-identifying Skrull space-pirate who is one of my favourite characters in Marvel, and would fit very well into this movie).

We get the big set-piece fight with the Hulk in the arena largely unchanged. The only real difference is that the Grandmaster’s box and the crowd contain a lot more recognisable Marvel alien species, including Khymelians and Shi’ar (technically Fox probably owned them back them but it’s not like they were using them), Skrulls, Kree and the Sisterhood of the Badoon. This is our chance to establish Skrulls existing prior to Cap Marvel, even if it’s only as a tiny background Easter-egg.

While Thor’s unconscious after the fight, he once again sees his mother and a tapestry. This time it shows the world-tree but there are ten realms instead of nine. When Thor asks her about the tenth realm and the disappearing girl, she tells him that once there had been ten realms, and Odin had used the inhabitants of the tenth realm, who call themselves Angels, as mercenaries in subduing the other realms. The battles grew bloodier and bloodier and Odin was never satisfied with what he had conquered. She says that he had destroyed realms, and when Thor protests that all the realms are still there, she tells him that what makes a realm is the people rather than the land. Eventually the price the Angels demanded grew so high that even Odin couldn’t pay it, and so as payment they took Odin’s firstborn, a girl called Aldriff. Thor wakes up as he’s trying to ask his mother what happened to the tenth realm.

Thor wakes up in Hulk’s apartments on Sakaar and Hulk mocks him for calling for his mother in his sleep. Thor realises that if Hulk is strong enough to defeat him then maybe he’s strong enough to fight Mangog. He tries to persuade Hulk to help, but Hulk refuses. Realising that he’d have a much better job persuading Banner to save innocent people, he asks Hulk to change back, and Hulk again refuses. Thor then asks him to help him leave the planet, and that Hulk agrees to, on the understanding that Hulk will stay behind.

Hulk calls Valkyrie to his room and Thor jumps her. During the fight he wonders aloud why there are so many Asgardians on Sakaar, saying it’s a conincidence that he and Loki ended up in the same place as Valkyrie. The mention of Loki’s name seems to distract her enough that Thor’s able to get the upper hand and overpower her. They take Valkyrie’s control device to remove Thor’s electric collar, and find the quinjet. Thor manages to activate it enough to shut the door, intending to go back on his word and take Hulk with him. Hulk goes mad trying to escape, but in his anger accidentally triggers the final message the jet recieved from Natasha as he left, causing him to turn back into Bruce. However the quinjet is now too badly damaged to be used.

Valkyrie is searching the palace for the two of them. During her search she goes into a room below the slave quarters were a huge cage holds a giant wolf. Loki is there, talking affectionately to it, as though it were a toddler. It’s initially calm, but goes wild when Valkyrie enters, trying to get to her to eat her. As Valkyrie enters it looks as though Loki is about to open the cage, but she stops when she sees Valkyrie watching her. Valkyrie confronts Loki, demanding to know if it’s true that she’s Loki. Loki admits that it is, and explains that although there was only a few minutes between her and Thor leaving the rainbow bridge, the nature of Einstein-rosen bridges means that she’s been on Sakaar for decades of mortal time. She disguised herself because Loki is known to be an agent of Thanos and even though she’s no longer affiliated with him, most planets wouldn’t wait long enough to let her explain before they executed her. Valkyrie asks if the wolf is Loki’s son and Loki admits that he is. Valkyrie says that that must mean that he’s Fenris Wolf, and goes to kill him but Loki stops her, saying that even if he’s the herald of Ragnarok and a monster, he’s still her son and she would burn worlds to protect him, and then adds that there’s nothing they could do to hurt him anyway, since he’s the child of a god and an Eternal (no further explanation than this as to his parentage is offered). Valkyrie leaves to find Thor, and Loki tells Fenris that she wishes that she could just let Thor die for a change, but she can’t bring herself to. She turns back into her male form and goes searching for Thor.

Thor and Banner try to regroup and come up with a new plan, and Banner tells Thor that if he even turns into the Hulk again he doesn’t think he’ll turn back. We get the impression that Thor would prepared to risk that if it would save Asgard.

Back on Asgard, Volstagg tries to call for the bifrost to take away civilians who have got caught in the battle, but Skurge is so afraid of the Mangog he deserts his post. We cut to Siff exploring the the Allfather’s vault looking for weapons, and we see the eternal flame there as well as various other little cameos. Then she finds Heimdall, locked up in a cell inside the vault. She releases him (she’s holding the infinity gauntlet we saw in Thor 1, and asks him “is this…” and he tells her it’s a fake before saying that they need to hurry to the gate.) They arrive at the bifrost just in time to pull out the civilians before they’re killed. Siff asks Heimdall how the battle is going, and asks whether Odin or Thor is coming to save them, and he just tells her to ready the city’s last defences.

On Sakaar, Loki finds Thor and warns him that the Valkyrie is looking for him, and tells him he should take one of the Grandmaster’s ships. When Thor asks why he’s helping him, Loki says that their mother appeared to him in a dream and asked him to watch out for his brother.

Valkyrie finds them just as they’re stealing a ship and Loki shows her a vision of the death of the Valkyries in the battle to retrieve Princess Aldriff to slow her down. She knocks him out, but the memory of her fallen comrades is enough to persuade her to help Thor. She uses a wall pannel to unlock the slave quarters, and Korg suddenly finds that the looping tunnel doesn’t loop anymore and he’s able to leave. They begin an uprising.

Thor wants to leave Loki behind, but Valkyrie wants to get him as far away from Fenris as possible, worried that he’ll unlock the cage, and insists they bring his unconscious body with them. They’re initially planning to aim for the portal Thor had come through, but Heimdall appears before him to tell him to take the Devil’s Anus portal.

They take the ship through the Devil’s Anus, pursued by guards. However, Fenris senses his mother leaving and goes wild, managing to smash apart the bars of his cage. His violent actions begin the total collapse of the palace, as he was in the foundations of the building. He manages to follow them by jumping from guard ship to guard ship, eventually diving through the portal after them. During this sequence, Loki comes too. His skin as been turning gradually more and blue until eventually the collar freezes and snaps. As soon as he wakes up he reverts to his Asgardian form. Banner reiterates that he can’t become the Hulk, and we see that Thor has finally learned his lesson when he tells Banner than he won’t ask that of him.

The Mangog arrives in Asgard, announcing his presence by throwing Volstagg’s body onto the steps of the palace where Siff and the last remaining soldiers are rallied to meet him. As they raise their swords to attack, Thor’s ship arrives and Thor confronts the Mangog. Meanwhile Volstagg’s wife is trying to get the civilians out via the bifrost. Valkyrie and Banner go to help. Hildegun recognises Valkyrie and explains that she was a Valkyrie herself once, but retired before the massacre to get married. She produces a dragonfang blade out of her pack, and gives it to Valkyrie to use in the battle.

Thor’s battle against the Mangog is not going well, even with the support of Siff and the soldiers. It manages to get Thor pinned and puts out one of his eyes, and he passes out from the pain.

For a third time, he sees his mother. He tells her he can’t fight the Mangog, that he can’t do anything without his hammer and he’s not as strong as her and Odin. She tells him that he’s better than either of them ever were, and he asks her again about the tenth realm. She tells him that as punishment for taking her child, she wiped them from existence, and that’s why she says that Thor is a better person than his parents. Thor says that being a good person isn’t what he needs, he needs power, and she tells him that the power is within him - the hammer was just a conduit.

Seeing what’s happening, Heimdall uses the Bifrost to send a vision of himself to Odin, to tell him that he’s needed. When Odin refuses, and calls Heimdall a traitor for not reporting Loki, Heimdall tells him that he had to watch the slaughter Odin ordered on the Nine worlds, and listen to the screams, and keep the secret of the tenth realm, but he’s damned if he’s going to passively watch all of Asgard burn for Odin and Frigga’s sins. Odin refuses again, but before Heimdall can do anything else he’s distracted by events on Asgard and disappears. We get a beat of Odin just sitting, obviously considering Heimdall’s words before we cut back to the bifrost.

The civilians on the bridge are nearly at the bifrost control when Fenris arrives. Bruce asks what it wants, and Loki appears out of the crowd and says that Fenris wants to eat the world. Valkyrie says that they have to fight it, and Loki says that he can’t kill his own child. Realising that there’s no other choice, despite Valkyrie’s reminder that he doesn’t have to, Bruce Hulks to fight Fenris. When Valkyrie tries to ask Loki to get the civilians to the Bifrost, he’s disappeared. Before she can do anything, the Mangog appears between her and the Bifrost. Heimdall is forced to leave his post and fight.

In Asgard, Thor wakes up to find Loki with him. He tells Loki that Mangog is here to punish Asgard for their parents’ sins (to which Loki says that he knows, Frigga had told him as well) but there might be a way to save the bit of Asgard that matters - the people.

Thor arrives to join the battle on the bridge, now able to use his lightning powers without a conduit.

Skurge turns out to have been hiding inside the Bifrost hall. He hears Odin’s call and activates the bridge to bring him through to join the fight at the same time as Loki reappears. They end up fighting back to back, and Loki blames him for what’s happening. Mangog hits Loki especially hard and he looses control of his shape, reverting to his Jotun form. He says that he must have made a pretty poor replacement for the baby that the Angels stole, and Odin says that he didn’t steal him to be a replacement, and there’s never been a day when he regretted taking Loki in, even when Loki was lost to them.

Surtr emerges from the palace and begins burning everything, and then the Mangog destroys the bifrost controls just he begins burning, trapping the remaining Asgardians on a burning planet.

Korg’s ship appears above the fight. He seems fairly bemused to have gone from a collapsing palace to another collapsing palace, but agrees to take the civilians when Hildegund asks and between her and Skurge they manage to get the civilians onto the ship.

Realising that there’s no hope, Odin tells Hulk and Valkyrie to get to the ship. Valkyrie isn’t happy about taking orders from the man who got her entire unit killed but Thor persuades her. Loki wants to stay because of Fenris, but Odin tells him that even though he’s a better parent than Odin even managed to be, there’s nothing to be gained from staying here. Loki tries to say goodbye to Fenris, but Fenris is so consumed by hunger that he attacks him, and Loki admits there’s nothing to be done.

Thor tells Odin that he’s going to stay and help him hold off Mangog long enough, but Odin tells him that Asgard in exile will need a king, knocks him out and gives him to Loki to drag to the ship. As it pulls away, Fenris leaps for it, nearly bringing it down and Skurge leaps from the ship, sacrificing himself in order to distract Fenris.

Once the ship is gone, Odin is struck down by Mangog. As he’s dying he sees a vision of Frigga reaching for him. He says that he can’t go, he’s a monster and should stay and burn with the monsters, and Frigga tells him that she’s a monster too but at least they taught their children to do better than them, and they walk into the darkness of death as Asgard burns behind them.

On the ship, Thor tries to appoint Loki as king, but he’s too caught up in grief over Fenris, and then Sif, since she had been the regent, but she refuses and names him King Thor. The last shot of the movie (that isn’t a post credits scene) is of a bearded, one-eyed, one-armed Thor seated on his throne surrounded by the survivors of Asgard.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #222: A Gathering of Evil!

August, 1982

You know, I haven’t really thought about how long its been since the Avengers have dealt with the Masters of Evil.

The Masters are the Avengers’ evil opposite team. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants to their X-Men. The Legion of Doom to their Justice League. The Revengers to their Avengers.

But the Avengers haven’t had to deal with the Masters of Evil since Avengers #83. And in that appearance, they took a backseat to the real master of evil. FEMINISM.

At least according to Roy Thomas.

But yeah. Its been a while without the Masters of Evil. And, uh, any team with Whirlwind has a long way to climb for credibility. Yeah, I said it. He doesn’t wear a shirt.

Also, they put She-Hulk in her at-the-time Iconic She-Hulk Outfit. This is another case of the cover lying. The reality is, somehow, even more embarrassing for her.

Last time: the Avengers had a membership drive because you can only be a kooky quartet for so long. She-Hulk and Hawkeye were recruited and took an instant dislike to each other.

Because She-Hulk cut off Hawkeye in traffic and Hawkeye proportionately responded by breaking her car.

Fun!

So lets get to it.

We start with She-Hulk trying to fix her car.

Annnnd she’s throwing random pieces out of the hood. I don’t think she knows much about auto-repair.

When the electrical system zaps her, she gets so angry that she smashes the car flat like she’s a Street Fighter. Then she jams the wreckage into a public trashcan - also flattening that.

Alas, She-Hulk’s pink Cadillac. You graced our lives for far too short a time. And were taken from us by that heinous bowman Hawkeye. This is the sin which I will always hold against him.

Wasp rolls into the scene, tsking about She-Hulk’s behavior being bad for the Avengers’ image. And hey, yeah! I do like that She-Hulk trying to fix a car in front of the mansion before getting fed-up and breaking it is a good indication that she’s not going to be your typical Avenger.

But despite the tsk she’s not too serious about the admonishment. She even congratulates She-Hulk on getting rid of the car, as it clashed with her skin color.

Reasonably enough, She-Hulk asks who made Wasp the expert.

Except, Wasp did. Wasp made Wasp an expert. She’s literally a professional fashion designer. But relatedly, she’s designed a whole new wardrobe for She-Hulk and can’t wait to dress her up.

I kind of wonder if Wasp views new female teammates as potential canvasses.

Later on, in the Busiek run, she’ll design a new outfit for Firestar pretty much without any input from Firestar herself. And it had an incredibly plunging neckline that Firestar was very uncomfortable with.

If Wasp offers to fashion design for you, feel flattered and a little bit afraid.

Anyway, She-Hulk decides well might be nice to try on a bunch of new clothes.

Y’know, She-Hulk is a bit of a fashion person herself. In her original solo book she started the ‘oops I flexed and my sleeves fell off’ fashion.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Tony Stark at Stark International.

Big boss himself came down to the Long Island office because one of his programmers has asked for time off.

Brenner’s son is sick and he needs to pick him up from school. BUT: he’s in the middle of a complicated computer project!

Like the idealized fictional caring billionaire that he is, Tony is completely understanding.

Tony Stark, what a guy: “Well, your son is more important than any computer program, take the rest of the day off -- with pay.”

If you end up stuck in the Marvel universe somehow, see about swinging a job with Tony Stark. Tony Stark makes you feel/he’s the cool exec with the heart of steel.

Tony decides he’ll get Ordinary Electrical Engineer Scott Lang to finish the programming work.

Ordinary Electrical Engineer Scott Lang is happy to pick up the project but since Tony Stark is in the room anyway, Scott asks if Iron Man has mentioned any news of Hank Pym.

For you see, although you might think that this Scott Lang is an Ordinary Electrical Engineer, he is actually the new Ant-Man so he feels indebted to Hank Pym.

Tony responds that there hasn’t been any news since Hank Pym went to jail so Scott asks why the Avengers haven’t done anything for him. Tony claims that there’s not a lot that the Avengers can do for him until his case comes to trial.

You could hire him a good lawyer? Or pay for that therapy that you thought he needed?

I guess I don’t know that Tony isn’t doing these things off-screen, to be fair.

Tony further claims that Hank will do fiiiine in jail, because he’s tough. Scott remains dubious since he’s actually been to jail and knows what its like. But there’s only so much you can contradict the boss, even if he’s idealized fictional caring billionaire Tony Stark.

And anyway, Tony has other things on his mind. He’s more worried about Jan than he is about Hank. She’s way too well-adjusted for having gotten divorced after her marriage turned miserable. According to Tony Stark anyway.

Of course, his major misunderstanding is that he thinks “she had [Hank] to lean on for so many years” when it was more the other way around. The Jan he thought he knew was actually playing the role of the Hank Pym Hype Squad.

Meanwhile, we check in on Steve Rogers.

One thing I appreciate about this run of Avengers is that we have more of a sense of what the Avengers are doing when not Avengersing. The Avengers book feels a lot more keyed into the rest of the related Marvel universe.

For example, Steve actually got some art jobs! It looks like comics book actually! And he does art for advertisements too!

And he’s living that glamorous artist life of staying up all night to finish pages and then going ‘oh shit my day job’ when his alarm rings for the Avengers meeting.

Although he’s actually looking forward to getting the costume on and getting away from dealing with ad executives and art editors for a while.A good ol’ several hours in the Avengers gym will help work out the art desk bad posture knots out of his shoulders.

And elsewhere in Chicago, Illinois, where Ordinary Doctor Donald Blake has moved to attempt to make a life for himself separate from Thor. He’s doubtful whether he actually can.

I sorta wonder what the status quo in the Thor books is like because usually when Dr. Donald Blake shows up in the Avengers book, he’s been like a wandering expert doctor, just passing through. Showing up to do the tough medical jobs. He’s settling down in Chicago now.

But at least the thousand mile commute to the weekly Avengers meeting is no problem for THOR!

Now that Hawkeye is on the Avengers again, he’s part of the round of checking in. He’s clocking out of the security chief job at Cross Technological Enterprises. His colleagues all envying how he gets to set his own hours.

He takes a train from Yonkers to his new Central Park West apartment. I don’t know if you remember his living conditions before he got the job at Cross Technological but it was a bit suck. He’s definitely put his steady paycheck to use improving his digs.

Old (from issue #189):

New (from issue #this issue):

Although maybe too much. Because when he gets home he realizes that he has almost no food in his apartment and also no money until payday.

Hawkeye: “Where the heck does $1200 a week go, anyway? I don’t play Pac-Man that much! There was more change in my pocket in the old carny days!”

Psst, Hawkeye. Definitely sign up for the stipend check from Stark.

Another thousand a week will go a long way to keeping you living the can afford food standard of living you’re accustomed to.

He manages to find a bag of potato chips to snack on but decides he’ll have to see if he can find an actual square meal at Avengers Mansion.

Likely. Jarvis seems the sort to keep the fridge well-stocked and heck he’d probably make something if asked.

Anyway, Hawkeye being Hawkeye, he’s not going to take the elevator or stairs. He’s definitely going to fire a cable arrow so he can swing down from his balcony. Because, of course he is. He’s Hawkeye.

And he lands right in front of a taxi, the driver of which calls him a nut

Hawkeye: “You want a star in your cab or not?”

Turns out? No. Hawkeye has to walk to Avengers Mansion and arrives late because the cabbie won’t give him a free ride.

Meanwhile at Avengers Mansion (which fails to elicit the same kneejerk emotional response as ‘meanwhile at the HALL of JUSTICE’ from me), the She-Hulk clothing montage has occurred off-screen.

For shaaaame, James Shooter. And also Steven Grant.

She-Hulk isn’t so sure about the outfit Wasp put together for her.

Wasp: “I call it Arabian Night -- a blend of suppleness, strength and sensitivity to highlight your true nature!”

She-Hulk: “Don’t you think it’s a little... unusual?”

Wasp: “You’re an unusual woman, Jennifer! Your clothes should say that! We want a complete image that’ll drive me wild at the sight of you!”

She-Hulk: “Got anything that’ll drive that jerk Hawkeye one way to oblivion?”

I don’t know if fashion can do that but if anyone could design that, Wasp could. Her or Giger.

Wasp tries to defend Hawkeye but can only manage “he’s okay, just a little... um, well, you know!” but suggests that She-Hulk just be nice to Hawkeye to throw him off.

Which. Sounds like a funny idea.

Anyway, I like the outfit. The colors work for her. And maybe it’s because there are a couple Dragon Ball outfits like this but it feels appropriate for her. Because of the punching.

Iron Man comes in and goes ga-ga multiple punctuation over She-Hulk’s new look, which I guess proves that Wasp hit where she was aiming.

Wasp: “Oh, more flattery! More! I love it! And this is just the beginning. Wait until you see the fighting togs I’m designing for her!”

So I guess that this is just an outfit to look good in and Wasp is still working on the superhero outfit. Can’t wait to see it.

Captain America and Thor come in and Thor too praises She-Hulk’s new look.

Thor: “By Odin’s beard! What emerald beauty stands before us?”

They date later. Its one of those ‘wow expected this to happen way sooner than 2018 honestly’ things.

And then Hawkeye comes in.

He also loses his shit over She-Hulk’s new look. But in more of a Hawkeye way.

Hawkeye: “Waitaminit! Is it Cheryl Tiegs? Loni Anderson? No! It’s the new fashion plate -- the Savage She-Hulk! Talk about trying to get silk purses from sow’s ears!”

You’re a rude, Hawkeye.

She-Hulk storms towards him, offended, and just lifts him bodily.

And kisses him.

Then drops his ass on the ground.

I guessss remembering and putting her own spin on Wasp’s suggestion?

People need to stop kissing each other for spite and revenge reasons, honestly.

I do get a laugh at Hawkwye demanding a rematch. Can’t imagine what form that’d take. But its funny.

I kind of have a problem with the scene, beyond the people kissing each other for spite and revenge thing. Prior to joining the Avengers, the issue where She-Hulk got her pink Cadillac was Marvel Two-In-One #88 where she spent nearly the entire issue hitting on the Thing to his discomfort. And the joke was Ha Ha Sexually Assertive Women.

I really hope that we do not have that again.

Anyway, the other Avengers get some yuks over She-Hulk’s method of shutting up Hawkeye.

Iron Man even suggests that Hawkeye and She-Hulk have just had their first date to Hawkeye’s dismay.

Seriously, someone write an Avengers code of conduct and then create an HR department.

MEANWHILE, CHANGING THE TOPIC AND THE SCENE

In Egghead’s secret Manhattan laboratory.

Egghead: “No, it’s not fair! All I ever wanted was to rule the world -- is that so much to ask? I’m 52. That doesn’t give me many years left -- that idiot Henry Pym blew what may have been my last chance!”

Hah at Egghead having a baby tantrum over being thwarted. And I guess good to know that Hank screwing up the plan by calling the Avengers did screw over more than Hank Pym.

Hank may have saved the world, actually. Good job, Hank.

Egghead laments that he wishes he had another good plan but kind of put all the eggs, hah, in the unstoppable adamantium robots basket.

And then his sexy maid Anna chimes in with a suggestion.

Wait, why does Egghead of all villains have a sexy maid? Who seems to have a crush on him? Why is this a thing? Who in or out of universe looks at Egghead and thinks ‘yes this man is a sexual dynamo’?

Eh, whatever.

Anna: “Vhy don’t choo just buy the vorld, darlkink?”

Egghead: “Anna! Vhat... er, what did you say?”

Anna: “You should make a lot ov money und buy the vorld!”

Egghead: “Work?! Disgusting!”

This is probably the only time I will ever be able to say this but I agree with Egghead.

Anna: “No, no, no! Just invent somethink that everyvun vants -- a cure for baldness, mebbe... or eternal youth!”

Egghead: “That’s silly, Anna! Or is it?”

IT IN FACT WASN’T!

Egghead suddenly stands up, dumping sexy maid Anna to the floor, as he realizes that she’s right! If Egghead could invent cell rejuvenation to give people eternal youth, the world would be his oyster! People would give anything for it!

Granted, he has no idea how to invent cell rejuvenation but that’s tomorrow’s problem. Today’s problem is the logistics. He’ll need research, money, equipment and most importantly of all lackeys to steal all that stuff for him so he won’t have to Effort!

So moments later, Egghead signals a robot spy capsule that he has monitoring Atlantis at all times just because.

Egghead’s spy capsule launches a guided missile at an Atlantean prison, busting out someone mysterious unless you happened to glance at the cover.

And we go from one prison to another prison to pop in on Hank Pym at Ryker’s Island.

Ryker’s is apparently the go-to supervillain prison.

And whoops Hank Pym is one now, at least according to the law. What with being caught with all that stolen adamantium and the mind control prosthetic arm.

Hank Pym: “It just doesn’t make sense! All I tried to do was redeem myself, but things just got out of control! Egghead’s responsible for this! He committed the crime I’m accused of -- and made sure I can’t prove it! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?”

Probably because you did do the crime and were caught in the act and you wouldn’t explain yourself fully afterward. Just saying.

Hank Pym: “Jan! That’s where it all went wrong! If I could get her back, everything would work out! I know it!”

Hank Hank Hank... You’re suddenly a romantic.

A guard yells at Hank that its food time and then further yells that his son had looked up to Hank, which causes Hank to reflect whoops he let down more than just Jan and the Avengers.

When Hank sits down to eat prison chow, he’s accosted by Dave Cannon aka WHIRLWIND aka I guess Hank’s backup archnemesis?

Hank isn’t really spoiled for choice with good archnemeses so he either has Egghead or spin around real fast man.

At least Dave Cannon aka Whirlwind is trying to go for the personal lowblow. That’s a decent, if gross, archnemesis move.

He insinuates that hey if Jan divorced Hank that means Dave has a chance with her and he’s going to visit her as soon as he jailbreaks out of here today.

I’m sure he does have a chance. Like a snowball’s in hell, maybe.

Hank tells Dave to shut up because shut up, Dave.

But Dave ups the ante by suggesting that after Hank Pym gets out of jail in maybe ten or twenty years, he and Jan will hire Hank to be their chauffeur.

So Hank smashes a tray of food in Dave’s face because shut up, Dave.

He also starts punching him because in for a penny.

And because Hank totally started that ‘fight’ the guards haul Hank off for a month in solitary.

You wouldn’t think Hank’s life could get worse in every issue he appears in but you would be wrong.

And wouldn’t you know it? As soon as Hank is out of the room, the jailbreak starts without him.

He doesn’t even get to participate in activities now! Geez, Dave Cannon! You’re ruining prison for Hank.

Anyway, the mysterious figure from the Atlantis jailbreak scene is now jailbreaking Ryker’s and iiiiiits TIGER SHARK!

A guy I know almost nothing about!

-google- Ah, Namor foe. That explains him being a shark man.

He used to be an Olympic swimmer who injured his spinal cord when he rescued a drowning man. So a pretty good guy, starting off. Then to heal his spine he participated in an experimental procedure where Namor and tiger shark DNA was blended with his own and he became a shark man and an asshole.

I think that’s the Namor DNA personally. It makes people into jerks. And Namor is 100% Namor DNA so you can imagine what a jerk he is.

I’ve gotten lost in the weeds.

Tiger Shark busts in through a supposedly impregnable prison wall. The guards try to shoot him with ‘special weapons’ but Tiger Shark thwarts them with a special weapon of his own.

A TABLE!

Which he uses to block the shots and then hit them with.

They were fools to put their faith in high-falutin’ technology when they could have been investing in low-falutin’ carpentry.

That’s right, they should have gotten wooden guns.

With the guards tabled for now, Tiger Shark collects Scorpion and Whirlwind.

That’s two supervillains on his shopping list but there’s one more to get.

So the three detour over down to the women’s wing while the jailbreak of everyone else keeps the guards very busy.

And they find Dr. Karla Sofen, Ordinary Criminal Psychologist who got superpower from a space rock. Y’know, a Moonstone.

She has a few follow-up questions before she throws in with these goons but Tiger Shark isn’t a good conversationalist.

Tiger Shark: “You wanna get snuffed right here, lady?! Move! Negotiations are closed!”

She grudgingly accepts these terms. The caption box says so.

The four supervillains take a remote controlled escape boat and escape on a boat.

Later, in a safehouse on Long Island Sound, the four supervillains are all costumed up and already feeling cooped up with each other. It is a small house and they are all big personalities.

Tiger Shark and Whirlwind even get into a fight when Tiger Shark complains about waiting and about suburbia and Whirlwind tells him to shut up. And by fight I mean Tiger Shark smacks Whirlwind in the head. Because its Whirlwind.

Ant-Man’s backup archnemesis. And Tiger Shark fights Namor. Its a mismatch.

But its enough of a ‘fight’ to cause a stir.

Egghead: “Stop your silly squabbling! Fighting among yourselves won’t further my plans!”

Moonstone: “Wha -- ?! Egghead?!”

Tiger Shark: “What’s an Egghead?”

Hah.

I don’t know why this exchange amuses me so much.

Egghead is perfectly happy to introduce himself slash ramble on and on with words words words. He is PERHAPS the world’s greatest genius (hahahahah noooo) but says he may find a cure to Tiger Shark’s “repugnant amphibious condition.”

Egghead: “If you all follow me without question, you’ll share in my forthcoming power and wealth! In addition to being bodyguards, you’ll perform various tasks for me -- beginning tonight, when you loot a certain Manhattan medical research center to obtain data and supplies! Cross me -- and no one will ever hear from you again!”

I’ll make fun of Egghead any day of the week but I’ll give him this. He evidently delivers this speech with such conviction that ‘shark man who fights Namor’ just nods and apparently thinks yes this sounds legit.

And lets be honest, between Whirlwind, Scorpion, Moonstone, and Tiger Shark none of them look at this eggheaded guy threatening them and think about trying something.

Egghead appoints Moonstone his deputy and team leader. Because, he says, she’s such a well-trained follower.

Okay, okay, okay. Okay.

So, Dr. Karla Sofen first appeared as a henchwoman to Dr. Faustus.

But then she tricked the original Moonstone into giving the moonstone to her and became the new Moonstone. And here I didn’t even know there was an original Moonstone.

My point being, yes, early on you might look at Moonstone’s history and think ‘yes she’s definitely a subordinate person who won’t give me trouble’ but from a modern perspective?

I know Modern Moonstone for basically being the Starscream of whatever team she’s on. Starting from Thunderbolts at least, she’s never the boss, she’s happy being the deputy but she’s always scheming and manipulating and undermining her boss.

I really want this to be a hilariously bad judge of character Egghead has made. I really do.

Meanwhile, Whirlwind thinks that he’ll play along with Egghead’s plans. Until he gets bored.

And then I guess he gets bored like five seconds later because he decides that since the job Egghead wants them to do isn’t until evening, he can go visit Wasp.

And yeah. We scene transition to Avengers Mansion and Whirlwind is just lurking in the bushes spying on Wasp’s limo.

Inside the mansion, with the Avengers’ meeting over, the Avengers all get ready to go about the rest of their business.

Hawkeye saying he has to get home gets She-Hulk to start musing on how she hasn’t had a real home since she left Los Angeles.

Which she did for... reasons? She seemed like she was going to stay in LA at the end of her original Savage She-Hulk book. She probably did it so she could do crossovers. That makes sense.

Wasp tells She-Hulk that since Tony doesn’t charge rent, She-Hulk can just stay at Avengers Mansion for a while. And in a couple days, she’ll take She-Hulk apartment hunting.

Wasp is a good friend.

She heads out to her limo and tells Mr. Carrothers to take her to her Manhattan apartment.

BUT WHOOPS iiiiiiiiiits Whirlwind!

He knocked out Mr. Carrothers over the head and stashed him in the bushes. Wow, being Wasp’s chauffeur is very eventful.

Whirlwind: “Forget him. I’m the man in your life now! I figure with your ex in the slammer, you’re gonna need an understanding shoulder to lean on -- .”

And then Wasp shrinks down and shoots Whirlwind in the face.

Wasp: “That’s awfully considerate of you. But next time send flowers first, okay? By the way, have you ever met me bio-electric sting?”

Get rekt, Whirlwind.

This has been a really good span of issues for Wasp. I’m boggling a little. My standards weren’t super high to be honest but this has been good.

I mean, aside from her wearing her Avengers #194-196 costume again. The one with only one pant leg. Of all your costumes to wear under normal clothes, why this one, Jan?

Outside the limo, Hawkeye is trying to sneak back into the mansion to raid the pantry and hoping everyone else has gone.

Because he doesn’t want them to know that two-jobs Hawkeye is having money trouble, I guess? But dude, just confide in Jarvis. He’s a good guy.

Anyway, point being, because of Hawkeye’s hungry little tummy, he sneaks back to the mansion in time to see flashes of energy from inside Jan’s limo.

Hawkeye runs to Jan’s rescue and instantly gets blasted by Moonstone who has just arrived to yell at Whirlwind for taking off without her permission.

Whirlwind says he doesn’t have to answer to Moonstone and a presumably very frustrated Moonstone answers yes he does, that is the very thing he has agreed to when he joined the new Masters of Evil!

I feel maybe announcing loudly that you are the new Masters of Evil right in front of the Avengers is kind of jumping the gun.

Not to mention having the whole time show up to pose like a team just to pull Whirlwind’s butt out of the fire but like I said, this isn’t a very impressive seeming iteration of the Masters.

They do have this much, at least. Hawkeye recognizes each one of these bozos (muffled foghorns from Titan Up the Defense way) and recognizes that he and Wasp are outpowered in addition to being outnumbered.

Reinforced by Tiger Shark just smacking Wasp out of the air.

I think her one legged outfit is slowing her down.

So Hawkeye fires a flare arrow to try to summon help.

Remember when the Avengers had radio rings? That’d probably be a less obvious way to signal for help. Because Moonstone sees Hawkeye shoot a flare arrow that LIGHTS UP THE AREA and shoots him for sending up a signal.

And then she turns to the others and goes “Why didn’t you blunderers stop him?”

Its a good point. Tiger Shark points out though that she didn’t stop him either.

Again: not a very impressive iteration of the team.

Whirlwind, trying to put on the pragmatic hat way too late, says that they should kill Hawkeye and skedaddle because fighting in front of Avengers Mansion makes him nervous.

But he’s still Whirlwind so he’s still gross so he thinks to himself that he wants to grab Wasp before they go.

And what, dude? You gonna keep her under your bed? WHATS YOUR CREEPY ENDGAME?

On second thought, I don’t want to know. Geez, this is awful but I’m glad that Wasp died in Ultimate comics before an exceptionally creepy Ultimate Whirlwind could show up and keep her in a well or something.

Hey, maybe if we tell Whirlwind that Living Laser is also obsessed with Wasp, the two will fight to the death and I won’t have to deal with either one!

Anyway. Off-track. Anyway.

With a sound of thunder, a Perfectly Ordinary Uru Hammer THOOMs by smacking every villain before returning to Thor’s hand.

Yeah, fighting in front of Avengers Mansion? Really dumb!

Thor: “Stand back, perfidious mortals, or face the wrath of Thor!”

Wasp: “Huh? Thor! I always thought you were handsome -- but you never looked better than you do now!”

Thor: “Fair Wasp, thou art safe in my hands!”

Wasp: (Mmmm! Don’t I wish!)

Well, you’re free to play the field now, Wasp. Go for it.

Meanwhile, over in Avengers Mansion, She-Hulk hears the racket and gets up from her nap to see a supervillain battle taking place on the street in front of the Mansion and just kind of sighs about New York being like this.

Again again: fighting in front of Avengers Mansion? REALLY DUMB!

Moonstone even realizes it.

Moonstone: “This is insane -- wasting our energy battling the Avengers for nothing!  We’ve got to end this fight and escape!”

She tells Scorpion to take Thor which either shows a high esteem of him or a very low regard. Either way, Scorpion is happy to try, tail-whipping Thor through the air.

Inside the mansion, She-Hulk decides that the only way to get some peace and quiet is to throw hands. Side benefit: she’ll also get to prove herself to the Avengers.

But I like that the primary reason is that she just wants to have a dang nap and this nonsense is preventing it.

So she OH YEAHs through the window because heck Tony Stark will pay to fix it and runs towards the battle.

Haha look at that tiny alarmed Jarvis in the window. I love that kind of background detail. Amazing.

Wasp takes a break from, I dunno fantasizing about Thor, to fly over in a panic.

Wasp: “Oh, no! That outfit is an original! Tear it -- and I’ll never speak to you again!”

She sure has her priorities. I think maybe she doesn’t think these new Masters of Evil are all that threatening.

Maybe she shouldn’t be so worried though. She-Hulk just jumped through a glass window and the outfit looks untouched.

She-Hulk: “You can’t be serious?! You are. Ohhh... fudge! This is ridiculous!”

She definitely had to stop herself from saying an f-bomb.

So She-Hulk stops running to help Thor and sits down to start pulling the Van Dyne Original outfit off so Wasp won’t friend break up with her.

I’m sure Thor is doing fine though.

Ha ha, just kidding.

Moondragon is keeping him pinned down with her laser blasts and Tiger Shark hits him with something almost as powerful as TABLE.

A CAR.

Tiger Shark: “That Avenger creep thinks he’s the strongest there is. Me, I can withstand the pressures of the ocean’s floor without breathing hard. So when you’re talking strength -- you’re talking Tiger Shark!”

Hey, cool! Its the same thing writers use to argue Aquaman Strong Actually. I wonder if this actually predates that. It’d be funny if Tiger Shark preempted Aquaman in anything.

Wasp (while blasting Scorpion in his Scorpion neck) asks Thor if he’s okay but I think Thor is more annoyed than endangered by being ganged up on by the villains.

Thor: “Aye, the villain’s cowardly attack availed him naught against the might of Thor! I would see this battle ended!”

Tiger Shark basically says ‘nuh uh’ or “Together we can turn him into hamburger!” but then someone punches Tiger Shark from behind and knocks him out.

Scorpion: “Who in -- ? Some chick from Frederick’s of Hollywood?”

She-Hulk: “Don’t tell me you don’t know who I am! I don’t want to hear it!”

So, yeah, She-Hulk has arrived. In her underwear. So she doesn’t offend Wasp.

I guess after the Moondragon arc, Wasp is paying forward the wardrobe embarrassments.

Very rude, Jan.

Hawkeye is also up and raring to arrow. And he nails Whirlwind with said shock arrow annnd knocks him out.

Yup, this is the part of the book where we’re running out of pages so the villains start going down really easy.

Next, Wasp shoots Moonstone and She-Hulk multi-tasks by punching Moonstone into Scorpion and knocking both of them out.

Which means that She-Hulk is MVP of this fight. She arrives the latest but knocks out the most people. Good job, She-Hulk. Even Hawkeye admits that she did pretty good (qualified with “for a beginner!” which She-Hulk just laughs off.)

Meanwhile, in his hidden laboratory, Egghead is thinking that you can’t get good help these days.

Egghead: “Fools! We would have destroyed the Avengers eventually! There was no need to upset my timetable!”

But its only a minor setback and he considers that this stomp may leave them more willing to see that his ideas are best ideas.

I really hope that everyone pins the blame on Whirlwind when Egghead inevitably has to break them out of prison again to assemble his Masters of Evil again.

Hm, and I didn’t wonder this before but why Masters of Evil as a team name? He has no connection with any of the previous iterations, I don’t think. Weird.

Back at the mansion, the Avengers stand around being pretty pleased with themselves for beating up a bunch of people who attacked them for no reason and sucked at it.

The only sour note is that Wasp lost yet another limo (to Tiger Shark’s deadly CAR attack) but even then she says she was ready to trade it in on a DeLorean anyway.

Wait, aren’t DeLoreans known for having disappointing performance for a car and adequate performance as a time machine? Wasp, why are you getting a DeLorean, you kook!

She-Hulk, who sold her dignity to keep Jan’s friendship, suggests that the two of them go looking for new cars together.

OH RIGHT. Issue started with She-Hulk’s poor lamented pink Cadillac being junked. That’s bookends, it is. They’re the Sisterhood of the Broken Cars now.

So a very decent story!

Stuff is being setup with Egghead, the Hank Pym plot thread is still going, and we’ve got a new Avengers roster to settle into.

Although. Between the Moondragon arc and this, I’m wondering if clothing mishaps is going to be a running joke going forward and I hope not. Or at least let the guys in on it. Let Thor get locked out of the house in his underwear. It is only fair.

To the readers, if not the characters.

Although, I guess that is kind of what happened in the Molecule Man story. Tony Stark stuck in only his underwear and had to wear Ordinary Doctor Donald Blake’s jacket around his waist.

Not much more to say about this. Its a solid issue.

Follow @essential-avengers​. Because: reasons. Also like and reblog. Because: similar but different reasons. Selling myself is hard.

[annie-bunny-out-there]

Endgame Thoughts

I FINALLY saw Endgame last night and have so many mixed emotions. I still might need time to properly take in what I saw. But here's my favorite things, ones I was mixed on, and ones that I outright hated.

The Good/What I loved:

Getting to see Tony and Pepper settle down at least for 5 years and have Morgan. Also, Tony and Morgan's bond. Seeing him with daughter was such an amazing part, how different of a dynamic it was between his relationship with Peter.

AMERICA'S ASS! Tony saying how Cap's 2012 suit did his ass absolutely no favors and Steve agreeing that he had America's ass!

Clint teaching Lila archery and her being so amazing at it, right before being dusted.

SCOTT REUNITING WITH A TEENAGED CASSIE! So many feels and that she never forgot about him.

Seeing Valkyrie, Korg, and Miek. My Ragnarok-loving ass was so happy at least one female character wasn't done dirty by being made queen of New Asgard (more on that later)

THOR AND HIS MOTHER! Frigga having the ability to recognize that Thor's current self was from the future and it had not been kind to him. And giving him the motivation to help undo the past. That's what mothers are for. This is also making me cry cause I saw Endgame Mother's Day weekend, and almost lost my own mother, but I'm fortunate she's still around.

Hulk becoming just essentially a Jolly Green Giant by learning to meld him and Bruce together! It was so damn cute seeing Bruce actually be happy as Hulk and having loads of fans! He's clearly changed his reputation as Hulk since Johannesburg and Sokovia.

Nebula and Rhodey's pairing of all people. I thought that was poignant when he mentioned how his accident in Civil War changed him.

Bruce and the Ancient One's scene

2012 Hulk not wanting to take the stairs! 😂😂😂

ALL THE FREAKING CALLBACK LINES AND MOMENTS! Especially Sam saying, "On your left," to Steve, the elevator scene with Rumlow, Happy asking Morgan is she was hungry and she wanted cheeseburgers 😭😭😭😭. Korg, Miek, and Valkyrie alive and Korg wearing Taika's pineapple shirt he wore to Comic Con 2017.

Bruce giving Scott a new taco

Rocket's interactions with Scott, Rhodey, and Thor again. He loves people who joke around like he does and anyone who has loads of weapons.

Clint as Ronin.

ALL MY DAMN QUEENS HELPING CAROL! Women are powerful in numbers and that scene shows it! Even though Carol, really probably didn't need the help.

Steve actually being worthy to lift Mjolnir and temporarily having Thor's lightning powers.

PEPPER AS RESCUE!

I AM IRON MAN! Even though what happens next is the worst.

Scott, Clint, and T'Challa all getting to reunite with their families and Thor and Cap finding new ones!

THOR ACTUALLY SURVIVING! HE'S MY PERFECT, PRECIOUS, PIRATE ANGEL BABY, SEDUCTIVE LORD/GOD OF THUNDER, ASGARDIAN CINNAMON ROLL! 😍😍😍😭😭😭😭❤❤❤❤

Steve actually getting his dance with Peggy 😭😭😭😭

THE ENDCREDITS HOMAGE WITH BIG MOMENTS OF ALL THE STARS AS THEIR CHARACTERS!

Mixed Opinion Scenes

Fat Thor. I thought it was saddening to see what being depressed and self-blaming for the Snap, little mad that he wasn't that hunky piece of ass I love him, angry for all of the fat jokes (even though I'm ashamed to admit I laughed at them). But yet, I also liked it that it's a complete 360 from how Thor was in his first movie. It showed Thor still has human qualities about him. He even was having a panic attack/anxiety/PTSD like Tony did in Iron Man 3. That he's not not the perfect God he once was. Depression changes people. And most of us who have it (myself included), search for ways to find ourselves again. That we are all are trying to prove that we're worthy of ourselves. That we matter. That the lives of the people we love are better with us in it. And like Thor if we lost a relative or friend close to us, continuing to live our lives in how they would want us to live them. Ones where we don't hold ourselves down.

Seeing he lack of new Loki as a Loki fan. I thought it was funny to show how he got that muzzle in the first Avengers. Thor put it on him to shut him up!

Lack of Romanogers as a Romanogers (even though we got that small scene where Nat poured her heart out to him about how the Avengers became her family).

Steve and Peggy at the end though. I felt he had accepted Peggy's life without him and let her find her happiness. But I choose to view it as ambiguous. Steve never explicitly said Peggy was actually his wife.

The lack of Captain Marvel. I get some people may have been happy cause they didn't like her solo movie, but her powers were amazing and I really liked her. But it was super cool having her show up ala Thor in Wakanda and having her own, "You guys are so screwed now!" moment!

That this is the end of the OG6's time as The Avengers. But I'm looking forward to the sequels to Spiderman, Doctor Strange, Black Panther, maybe Captain Marvel (seeing what she'sdone before coming back to Earth, just after the Snap/what she did in the five years everyone was apart), (HOPEFULLY A THIRD ANT-MAN!), maybe at least one New Avengers team up movie and ALL of the Disney+ shows about Loki, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Wanda and Vision, and I could have sworn Renner was getting his own show as Hawkeye.

What I ABSSOLUTELY HATED!

HOW DIRTY THEY DID MY QUEEN NATALIA "NATASHA ROMANOFF" ALIANOVNA ROMANOVA! We all knew someone has to die for the Soul Stone and I was saddened it was Nat. However, her death and not having any kind of funeral, memorial like Tony did made me upset. She was just as important to the rest of the MCU as the guys were and that they actually didn't get to show her fighting hardly at all was a let down. She was severely fridged and I hope they take a moment in her solo movie to honor her in some way.

NO CAROL AND VALKYRIE INTERACTIONS! Those two would have been badass if they had the kind of moment similar to Bucky and Rocket having in Wakanda in Infinity War.

No acknowledgment of Vision or any attempts to rebuild/bring him back. Leaving Wanda with hardly anyone.

That the OG 6 Avengers' time is up. Maybe those left may make cameos in the newer Avengers' movies. But I'll seriously miss Tony, Steve, Nat, Bruce, Thor, and Clint grouping up.

Well those are my thoughts about finally seeing Endgame. Like others, I had both moments I loved and moments I hated.