#if any mutual asks me i fear i may go off again

[justthatspiffy]

i can't stop writing essays about my friend's shitty plays!!

[purrrrplecats]

oh no i found it

the in correct quote generato-

(there a lot so if you don't want to read lots don't click keep reading)(theres loads i think 50-)

Scar: Grian and I are so close we even share a toothbrush. Grian: We what?

(he appoligised abt the joke later on.)

Mumbo: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

Grian: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend. Scar: Yeah? Grian: Bitch.

Mumbo: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Grian: No… not really. Mumbo: Are you going to do something about it? Grian: Hm… nah.

Grian: Your future self is talking shit about you right now. Scar: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

Pearl: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

Pearl: I’m proud to say I’ve come over my fear of ghosts! Grian: Eyy, that’s the spirit! Pearl: gasps whErE???!!!??

Impulse: So I have made the decision to trust you. Grian: A horrible decision, really.

Grian: Gem, is that my mug you’re drinking out of? Gem: No, it’s mine. Grian: It… looks just like the one I have… Gem: You don’t have one like this anymore.

(its and mug with pink and blue snails on it.)

Gem: This should be illegal! Pearl: It is.

Pearl: Okay, let's split 'em up and make 'em sing. Impulse: Two of you take Gem, the other two take Grian. Scar: Right. Bad cop, good cop. Mumbo: You know, it's interesting that they say "bad cop, good cop," because policing in this country is so broken it's really just "bad cop, bad cop". Impulse: Scar, you're with them. Scar: Got it.

Grian: Norwegia. Is. Not. A. COUNTRY! Scar: Then where are Norwegian people from!? Impulse: NORWAY!!

Impulse: Would you slap Pearl- Grian: Yes. Impulse: I didn't even finish! Grian: Sorry, continue. Impulse: Would you slap Pearl for 10 dollars? Grian: I would do it for free. Pearl: Rude…

(you could also swap Grian and Pearl around because I mean, SKYLINGS)

Grian: If you want my advice- Pearl: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times. Grian: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me. Scar: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder.

Scar, to the Squad: The real secret to immortality? Not dying. You want to be immortal? Okay, that’s easy. Just don’t die. That’s it. Refuse to die. There you go. Impulse: But how- Scar, ignoring them: “But how”, you may ask. Well, easy. Just don’t do it. Refuse to. Say “no thanks”.

Gem: I am strong! I beat Grian at arm wrestling! Impulse: Anyone can beat Grian at arm wrestling! Grian: Hey-

(sure Impulse sure-)

Gem: Grian, I am nothing if not a Woman of principle. Gem: Now let’s break into this apartment.

Pearl: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Gem: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

(again you could swap them around)

Pearl: Hey, you want a tarot reading? Mumbo: Those are Pokemon cards. Pearl: You got a magikarp. Mumbo: … Pearl: It means 'fuck you'.

Grian: Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere Gem: Where did you get that? Grian: My pocket. Gem: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? Grian: Skills.

Scar: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun’.

Scar: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Impulse: COMPANY IS COMING! I WANT THIS PLACE LOOKING LIKE DISNEY ON ICE IN ONE MINUTE! Impulse: SCAR IF YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED THROW IT AWAY IT'S TOO LATE TO MAKE IT NOW! Impulse: GET RID OF THE COUCHES, WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE S I T !

Gem: Hey Pearl, check out this funny .GIF I found! Pearl: It’s pronounced “jif”. Gem: Huh? Pearl: “Dot jif”, like the peanut butter. The creator said so. Gem: That’s dumb, it’s Graphics Interchange Format. Pearl: The P in .JPEG stands for “photographic”, but I bet you don’t say “J-pheg”. Gem: “P” on its own isn’t pronounced like “F”, that’s totally different! Pearl: It’s exactly the same! Gem: Name one word that starts with “G” pronounced like “J”. Pearl: Gentrification. Gem: Shoot, should have thought of that. I was just in San Francisco. Pearl: For your logic to be consistent, you’d have to say “skuh-bah” (scuba) or “lah-seer” (laser)! Gem: Yeah? Well, you’d have to say “J-pej”! Gem: …Wait, “laser” is an acronym? Pearl: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. Gem: Huh. Didn’t know that. Gem: You’re still wrong, though. Pearl: You just hate me because I’m right. Gem: I just hate you in general. Pearl: You mean in “geh-neral”? Gem: Ugh, I’m “joing” to kill you!

Scar: What's worse than a heartbreak? Grian: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. Mumbo: Waking up in the morning. Gem: Waking up.

Scar: I love you. Grian: Me too.

Grian: Fight me! Scar: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Scar: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

Pearl: What’s your favorite color? Gem: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature. Pearl: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP? Gem: My favorite color is pink.

Grian: Do you love me? Mumbo: We’re literally married. Grian: Yeah, but as friends or—

(logic is that Waffle duo got married as a bit like Clingy duo (Tubbo and Tommy) but G is like Tommy and doesn't want to get a divorce because he wants to commit it the bit.)

Grian: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done. Pearl: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. Grian: They're not. Pearl: Haha, very funny. Grian: I'm serious. Didn't you hear? Pearl: No… what happened? Grian: …Why would you fall for this again-

Scar: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Gem: Bees? Scar: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Gem: Wait- Impulse approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly

Scar: Mx. Grian, I accidentally dropped my seed into my mouth and then I accidentally ate it. Am I going to have a lemon tree grow inside my belly? Grian: Well, let's think about it. Did you also swallow a wet paper towel? Scar: Yes. Grian: Grian: Alright, let's go to the nurse.

Grian: Some people are like slinkies. Pearl: What? Grian: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Pearl: Pearl: Please don't push Scar down the stairs. Grian, pushing Scar down the stairs: Too late.

Pearl: You’re just being paranoid. Again. Scar: When have I been paranoid? Pearl: Um, when you first met Gem you thought they were an undercover cop…? Scar: No one has a wart that big, I thought it was a surveillance camera! Pearl: And last year you were sure Impulse was a mermaid! Scar: They hate wearing shirts! COINCIDENCE?! Later, when Scar’s theory is proven wrong Pearl: Do you have anything to say for yourself? Scar: I still think Impulse is a mermaid.

Grian: Scar, Pearl keeps bullying me at school. Scar: Ask your teacher for help. The next day… Grian, to their teacher: Will you help me beat up Pearl?

Pearl: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

Scar: Being gay isn't a choice. It's a game and I'm winning.

(same quote 2 times in a row!?!?!)

Impulse, near tears: Please, Grian, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

Gem: I need to dye my hair. Impulse: … Gem: Or get another tattoo. Impulse: … Gem: Or a new piercing. Impulse: Why? Gem: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

Grian: aggressively throws pencil at Scar Grian, deadpan: Oh no. I’ve been stabbed. I’ve been impaled.

(Double Life = soulmates)

Scar : So you like cats? Grian: Yeah. Scar : tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table

Impulse: What have you done with Scar ?

Grian: Nothing. Why, do you think I should?

Pearl: Scar , let’s go! Grian : Oh, yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about writing maybe a letter. Pearl: Okay, you know what? That’s it, you had your chance. Grian : What-? Pearl: Mom, Dad, Scar smoked pot in college. Grian : You are such a tattletale! Grian : Mom, Dad, you remember that time you walked into my room and smelled marijuana? Well, I told you it was Jimmy who was smoking the pot but… It was me. I’m sorry. Pearl: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn’t steal your Playboy’s, Grian did. Grian : Yeah, well, hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing Pearl did. Pearl: Grian hasn’t worked for a year! Grian : Pearl and Gem are living together! Pearl: Grian married Scar in Vegas and got divorced AGAIN! Jimmy: I love Jacques Cousteau! Etho: I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle! Doc: I wanna gooo!!

(I changed some names, aka added Doc, Etho and Jimmy, also Etho is the mum Docs the dad, and Tim is ofc the younger brother.) (the family situation is defo not from TTSBC)

Mumbo: I will send my army to attack! Mumbo: releases a dumpster of raccoons

Gem, throwing their head into Pearl's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Pearl, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

(awwwwww)

Squad is playing Among Us Grian: I believe Pearl is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Mumbo, what were you doing? Mumbo: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

(I was gonna change Pearl to Scar and change Mumbo to Impulse because Impulsetor)

Pearl, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out? Grian: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.

[bunsreverie]

I spent hours yesterday spamming my close friends on Instagram about Ethan and Feng Xun and comparing them (I’m so normal about them.) (My mutuals think I am insane.) SO I’ve wrote a bunch of headcanons for them, prompt being what kind of a boyfriend I think they would be/what they would be like in a relationship.

This isn’t a rq, just me self indulgent rambling. I will post Ethan’s later because I’m so tired.

. ࣪ ˖ Feng Xun:

• My first thought about Feng Xun as a boyfriend is actually that he’s definitely husband material. He’s quite polite and genuine, so you can’t convince me otherwise!

• He’s very independent, lonely even. His sister going into a coma along with him traveling by his lonesome has made him grow accustomed to it, and so I think he might come across as a little more distant than he means, at first. You’ll eventually find that this is just a wall he puts up, and he’s much more affectionate and clingy than you ever would have originally guessed.

• He doesn’t mean to, but I feel that he is probably just full of guilt and regret over what happened with his sister, and fears something will happen to his partner or that he may lose them too. He knows what happened wasn’t his fault, however he regrets not being there for his sister more I am sure, and I think this affects him a lot more than he might let on.

• We also know he canonly cannot see the future of those he’s close with clearly. I think that’s why he may act brute with Li Ling and pretend be harsh with him- he cannot get too close as he wants to be able to see his future clearly and have the knowledge that he can protect him- that goes for you, too. He may purposely give you a lot of space in the relationship at first, because he is concerned that he won’t be able to see your future clearly and protect you. He won’t admit that however.

• Essentially Feng Xun is afraid of losing you, wether that be due to him not being able to feel like he can let himself get close to you, or because he lets himself get too close and his vision of your future becomes bleary and unclear. He can’t lose you too, not after basically losing his sister. (I know she isn’t dead, but she’s not conscious so you get what I mean.)

• Because of his sister, he is much more conscious and careful over things he does and says to you. The last thing he would want to do is make you feel ignored or unloved and for something to happen to you, it’s his biggest fear. He realizes that being distant out of fear, he cannot possibly make you feel as loved as you deserve, so his mindset will eventually shift and he will open up. Just be patient, I think Feng Xun is alot more complex than you might would think at a single glance at his character. He would be an incredible boyfriend if he just let his guard down some.

• Feng Xun’s love is gentle. Almost cautious. He’s just afraid of making you uncomfortable in any way is all, and he will always ask first before he does anything. It almost agitates you. “You mind if I just lay my head on your shoulder and take a nap real quick?” He will ask, as if he does not do that constantly. That’s another thing, he can not keep his hands off you. He’s touchy, and clingy, but he’ll only show that in private. Again, he’s afraid of losing you. I think physical touch is definitely his love language; it comforts him- and you, so it’s a win win.

• He particularly enjoys resting his head on your chest or you resting your head on his, especially after a long day or particularly difficult job of his. He’s not hard to please in the slightest- to him, no matter what’s wrong, everything feels completely fine and okay when he can just hold you. When you’re not out hanging around his neighborhood with him or off traveling somewhere with him, the two of you can be found curled up in his bed- probably alongside a few cats.

• He’s extremely smart and observant, so good luck hiding literally anything from him. He knows what’s going to happen before it even happens after all, so you can’t hide anything. Just.. don’t even bother lying. Feng Xun is level headed and has a very strong mental capacity, so if something is wrong just tell him and he swears he’s gonna fix it for you. I actually feel that if something is wrong, he’d be the best person to talk to.

• His calm demeanor makes him incredibly easy to talk to and trust. I do not think there would be a such thing as arguments between the two of you- if there was, it’d have to be something major. Either way, if Feng Xun ever perceived an argument in the future, he would probably be able to prevent it before it even happened. The only good reason that I could think of causing him to get upset with you, is if you blatantly lie to him. There’s no reason to, because he already knows how things will play out, anyways. I think honesty is incredibly important to him, he is a man of his word after all and he would like if you could be the same. That is all he asks for, really.

• When he’s not out working a job trying for some extra cash or napping, Feng Xun loves taking you out places. Don’t expect anything too expensive or fancy, but he knows a few really nice spots he thinks you might like. Feng Xun likes taking you to get takeout at his favorite restaurants, and showing you his favorite spots around the neighborhood. Wether be the abandoned house the stray animals he feeds lives, or some little wildflower field he only just recently discovered. He just really wants to share every little thing with you, and I think that’s super cute. He may not be the richest guy but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try his hardest to make you feel spoiled, and cared for.

• Just remind him that you don’t care about wether he spends money on you, it’s the quality time that counts. He feels the same way- He does not care no matter how bad things get, because if he just has you, then everything is fine. He believes that the both of you are destined to be together, and why argue with fate?

[cherryxblossxms]

Masturbation May - Day 6b: Mutual Masturbation (Toji Fushiguro)

A/N: I believe Toji was suggested for day 6 by @vampnyx! Idk why, I felt the need to make both fics for this prompt on the mean end haha. Dirty talking Toji is my guilty pleasure

Featuring: GN reader || Toji x reader

Warnings: mutual masturbation, angry Toji to mean Toji, mention of a ruined orgasm, dacryphilia, use of sex toy (dildo/vibrator) by reader and then on reader by Toji, pet names, dirty talk/talking through orgasm, overstimulation, cumshot on body

Word count: 2000

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You knew you were fucked, but not in the way you'd like to be. For whatever reason, you'd gotten it in your mind to tease Toji, play him like a fiddle during sex as if he wouldn't wreck you immediately afterwards for it. Of course, he'd argue it was less teasing and more of a death wish when you'd accidentally ruined his orgasm while you were riding him on the couch.

Just as his thighs had tensed and his eyes had fluttered shut, you'd suddenly lifted your body off of him, his cock slipping out of you and slapping wetly against his stomach with its weight. You'd intended to simply edge him, drive him a little crazy so he'd fuck you even harder. But your timing had been off, just a few seconds too late, and you could only watch, mesmerized, as his cock jumped against his body and slowly oozed his release. The tensing of his stomach and throaty "fuck" he grumbled was so incredibly hot, and it distracted you too late from the fire of rage that lit up in his eyes.

Before you knew what was happening, Toji had you flipped over on the couch onto your back, his hulking figure bearing over you as he growled out at you, "What the fuck was that?" His hands were holding your wrists up against the couch, keeping you pinned.

You'd seen him pissed before, but never towards you, at least not to this extent. Your blood felt frozen in your veins, and for a moment you couldn't even respond. The orgasm that he'd been building up in you was nowhere to be seen.

"What, you think it's fun to play games with me, huh?" he asked, still waiting on your response, and you forced your mouth to start working before he would get any angrier.

"N-No, I didn't mean to do that, I swear," you stuttered. "I just wanted to tease you a little bit, I-I didn't mean for it to go that far, I'm sorry!" You struggled a little, hoping he'd ease up on your aching wrists, but his grip stayed strong.

Toji could see you were genuine, a little fear in your eyes as he saw tears start to well up. Part of him wanted to ease back, he never wanted to actually scare you off; you two had spent a long time getting used to each other and it was a fight for him to win your heart. But fuck if your tears weren't pretty, and his body ached for a real orgasm, still eager for more, now that you'd awoken a beast.

He considered his options. He wanted to continue fucking you, make sure you took his seed like he'd wanted originally before your poor decision ruined that. But you thought you were sly enough to play games with him like that, and not expect him to get revenge? You were sorely mistaken. He broke out into a grin, but it was a predator's grin, sending a shiver through you.

"All right, fine, I'll forgive you," he started, finally easing back on your wrists as he sat back on the couch. You followed him up slowly, tentatively. Although he didn't look quite as scary as a minute ago, you still felt a sense of unease in your chest, anticipating something else, and your instincts were right as he continued. "But first, you're gonna fuck yourself for me."

With that, he got up without waiting for response and went into your shared bedroom. When he returned, he was holding something that you couldn't see until he sat down on the couch with you again, tossing it to you. You managed to catch it and your breath caught as you realized he'd brought your vibrator, something you hadn't used in ages because, why would you? When you have Toji right there to fulfill all of your needs and more?

You couldn't help but glance up at Toji, who had a feral look in his eyes and a dangerous smirk on his face, accented by the scar across his lips.

"C'mon, sweet cheeks. I know you didn't cum yet," he said. "You want me to fuck you again, you gotta make yourself cum on that first."

You knew you were fucked. Although you still appreciated your toy, being a bit of a more expensive purchase with fancy settings, the reason you didn't use it anymore wasn't just because Toji dicked you down often enough by himself. It was because the toy no longer did anything for you, probably because of getting used to Toji. It simply didn't scratch the itch anymore, now just useful for prep rather than the main event. You might be able to cum from it, but it wouldn't be easy. Knowing this, all you could do was give your affirmative and try to give it your best shot.

"Good. Now lean back. I wanna see that cute hole while you fuck yourself."

You could feel your face heat up from his crass words, but you complied, leaning back against the arm of the couch. Luckily, you were still covered in your juices and lube from just earlier, so you tentatively rubbed the toy up against your body, doing your best to arouse yourself again. Thankfully, it worked, as some part of you remembered the feel of the toy and the wonders it had worked. Toji's body seemed to be reacting to your actions, as well, as you saw his cock bobbing eagerly again.

You would have asked what Toji was going to do in the meantime, but your question was answered wordlessly as his large hand reached up to wrap around his cock.

"Hey." His tone made your eyes shoot up, making eye contact. "I said fuck yourself, not ogle me. You want this, you keep moving," he said.

"Sorry," you mumbled, and you continued your work, rubbing the toy more against your arousal, dipping down to your hole and subsequently wetting the end of the toy. After a moment, you started to ease the toy in, sighing in pleasure as it slid in easily. Just as you suspected, it didn't reach nearly as deep as Toji's dick did. But you'd dug this hole for yourself, and you were going to get out of it somehow.

Now that you'd inserted the toy, you started to move it, working up to a moderate pace. Toji, pleased that you were following instructions, followed suit and started pumping his cock. He matched your movements, imagining it was his cock that was in you, fucking you at a controlled pace with deep thrusts that he knew would drive you nuts and keep you on edge for a while.

After a moment, he realized that the toy wasn't on and frowned. Your eyes had shut as you worked the toy into your hole, so he decided to lean forward and pressed the first button, starting the toy up.

As the basic vibration settings started, you jolted in surprise and let out a short moan, clamping down on the toy. The toy had a rotating head along with the vibration, and immediately you could feel it now poke along your favorite spots. Opening your eyes, you looked down to simply look at the toy, but your eyes caught on Toji working his dick, and you could practically moan again.

Toji knew he was hot, you'd made it clear how much you liked all of his features, scars and all, and he was a damn picture now as he sat across from you. Both of your eyes were glued on the core of the other person, his eyes hooded as he stared blatantly at your toy shaking and moving in and out of your wet hole. And you couldn't seem to tear your eyes away from his dick as his massive hand pumped it in time with you. It was a wonder how that thing ever fit inside you.

Your pleasure was rapidly climbing, but it still seemed to plateau after a moment, leaving you on a torturous level of pleasure. You increased the vibrations which helped at first, but soon you were back at the same place. Not quite enough to cum, and not quite enough to calm down yet. You didn't even have to say anything, Toji's smirk as your eyes caught his told you he knew exactly how you were feeling.

"What's wrong, baby, is it not what you wanted?" He asked, knowing full well what your answer was.

You could only nod, still trying in vain to use the toy.

"Well, you're not getting this—" he shook his cock for emphasis "—until you cum on your pathetic little toy. And you want me to fuck you, don't you?"

"Please, Toji," you responded, nodding again.

"Fine, I'll help you out," he said, piquing your curiosity. "Just picture it's me instead, fucking your tight little hole. I can't wait for you to get off on that thing so I can fuck you properly, bounce you on my cock until you can't think of anything but me. Gonna fill you up with my cum, make sure you're ruined for anyone else but me.."

You hadn't expected Toji to talk you through your pleasure, especially after what you did to him. But just like it always did, it definitely spiked your pleasure levels off the charts. Although the toy by itself wasn't exciting, the combination of his dirty words and the toy finally brought you to the edge. You could barely make out Toji's figure, but you just managed to register how hard he was fucking his fist now, close to the edge as well.

"I— I'm gonna cum," you gasped out, trying to hold off now until his okay.

"Fucking finally, cum for me," Toji growled out.

Your body obeyed his words almost immediately, and your body convulsed as your orgasm ripped through you, crying out in pleasure. Through the buzzing in your ears, you faintly heard Toji grunting close by before feeling hot liquid shoot across your belly and chest, realizing a second later he'd cum on you.

You went to turn off the toy, the lapse of vibrations giving your body a moment of peace as it stayed inside you. But it was interrupted as a large hand covered your own and pressed the button on your toy, restarting it. You couldn't help the jolt, now sensitive, and a moan fell out of your mouth before Toji's lips slotted against yours, muffling you. He took over the toy, pumping it in and out of you as you shook from overstimulation, your hands scrambling to hold onto something for dear life. After a long moment, he finally turned off the toy and slid it out of you slowly, backing up on the couch to take in the picture of your hazy eyes and quivering thighs that were covered in the lube and your juices, the way you were still clenching around nothing in the aftershocks.

He gave you a blessed moment of rest, but it didn't last long before he was picking you up and setting you in his lap, your weak thighs straddling his hips. You looked up at him and saw a serious expression on his face.

"See? That's what you get when you play games with me. What do you have to say?" he asked, clear eyes locked on yours.

"I'm sorry, Toji," was all you could reply, but you knew you were already forgiven, especially when a smile broke out on his face. He leaned down to kiss you, and you let yourself melt into him as your lips met. It was a sweet moment, at least until you felt something very familiar, hard and hot, pressing against your inner thigh, and you drew back in surprise. Toji's smile stayed on, but it was full of mischief now as his hands held your hips in an iron grip.

"What, you thought we were done?"

[piastrinorris]

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

masterlist | prev. | next

Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug content, penbury is a fanon surname

Word count: 10.6k

A/N: 5½ months. 12 chapters. 107,600 words. All for a silly little idea I threw at my friends in a discord server. Thank you for being here. <3

Also, there's a part in this that's VERY reminiscent of a certain photo that released today. (spoiler alert, it's in the chapter card lol) I swear, I wrote that almost a week ago and the video just HAD to drop today of all days, DIDN'T IT. If Joseph Quinn is in my walls, please get him out of there. That's not a safe environment for him.

“Right, so, hang about…” Connor holds his hands out in front of him, moving one out to the side as if physically placing events into a timeline. “So, back in 192-whatever, Ralph meets Nick and that lot, who we went to school with, who have… Travelled through fucking time,” he sounds exhausted just at that phrase. You nod, and he moves his hand to continue, “Ralph falls head over heels for Little Lauren. That works about as well as anybody would expect,” he raises his eyebrows at Ralph, who shies away a little. “And Ralph joins the Army.”

“French Foreign Legion, to be exact,” Ralph pipes up.

“French Foreign Whatever, yeah,” Connor nods, moving his hand again. “He hates it, he runs away back home, he ends up meeting Homeless Pete.”

“Wait!” Grace’s boyfriend suddenly shouts, waving his hands around and making everyone jump. He points to Ralph. “That’s why your name’s always been in the back of my head! You lived in the fucking Waterstones building?!” Ralph nods. “So, you were filthy stinking rich, and you left that?!”

“Well, I… I may have left out some details about… I may have… Sort of given up most of my material possessions to Laur- the other Lauren,” he gestures to Connor’s girlfriend, who makes an expression that shows Ralph she understands that she’s not who he’s talking about. “Um, before I had left. Well, after I had left for the Army, but before I… Ended up here.”

“You were really down bad, weren’t you, mate?” Connor asks, cocking his head, and Ralph cowers back into his seat.

“Yes, well. That’s all well into the past now. Ninety-seven years in the past, to be exact!”

“Fucking mental,” Scott says under his breath. “Anyway, Connor, keep going with your…” He waves his hands in front of him.

“Yeah, so, you’ve not got nothing, Lauren rejected you and you still left her everythi- God, how did you survive without us?!” Connor shakes his head. “So you bump into H.P., who brings you to our time. You get rescued,” he gestures to you, “and…”

“Can I ask,” Scott’s partner raises a finger, looking at you. “What made you take him in, then?”

You look at Ralph and shrug. “I dunno, look at him! Who’d say no to that face?” You squish his cheeks in one hand, to his indignation, and you hear the soft laughs of your friends. “But… Yeah. Once I’d found H.P. and gotten as much of an explanation as I’ll ever get out of him, it was just… So much to wrap my head around. And I couldn’t just leave Ralph to the streets, he’d get killed!” Ralph suddenly looks very fearful, grabbing a cushion to hug to his chest. “And then next thing I knew, he was setting off alarms in the flat on his first day there, so I couldn’t exactly leave him home alone, so I had to bring him with me to Anna’s that night. I barely had the time to text you lot in advance, I couldn’t exactly leave you a voice note saying “by the way, time travel exists and I’m bringing a man who was born in the Victorian era, see you at 7!” And then the days were getting ahead of me, and I couldn’t even make any sense of it myself, let alone trying to teach any of you about it, either.”

“So, what, does he have to go back at any point? To like, restore the fragile balance of the time-space continuum or whatever sci-fi nonsense this actually proves?” Grace asks.

“Well, we thought so, and that’s why we were always so vague about him “going home”,” you explain. “But then, after Brighton, he almost - he could’ve gone home, and by all we knew back then, he should’ve -” You don’t see Ralph wince in pain at that word. “- but H.P. tol- well, told,” you hold up your fingers as air quotes, “Ralph that since the others had never returned to their own time, without consequence, he decided to stick around.” You smile comfortingly at him and he reaches out to hold your hand.

“Easily the best decision I’ve ever made,” he smiles back. “Staying with you, well, all of you!” He looks around the room. “I truly… I cannot put into words how deeply it hurt to omit the truth from you all for so long, but… Well, everything just seemed to be going so well for me, for once, and I feared that… To let that slip, I might… Lose you all,” he lets go of you to wring his hands in his lap. “Entirely selfish of me, I completely understand if you all think differently of me, now -”

Anna interjects with a sympathetic, “You’d have to do a lot worse to get rid of all of us.”

“Yeah, you’re the one stuck with us, Ralphie!” Scott jokes.

“I mean…” Lauren starts, pausing for a moment. Ralph’s face goes on an emotional journey of potential heartbreak, fearing he’s lost one of his best friends. Lauren remains stoic as she finally continues, “Yeah, it’s pretty shit that pretty much the foundation of why we’re friends is a lie.”

“Literally the only thing that Ralph and I kept quiet was the whole time travel thing, because, well, it still sounds stupid saying those words out loud,” you shake your head. “But everything else, it’s all been pure Ralph. Nothing else is based off any lies, it was just to… I mean, what would you have done if he’d have told you that night you met him, that he’d got here by getting in a lift with an old man in 1926 and ended up in 2022?!”

“I’d think he was off his tits,” Lauren admits in a quiet voice, much to Ralph’s confusion. “Yeah, alright, I guess, it’s… It’s complicated, innit?”

“Tell me about it,” you reply, exhausted, and the others laugh.

“It is a bit shit,” Connor acknowledges Lauren and then the pair of you. “But we’d all probably have done something similar. I mean, fuck me, I’d probably have left him with H.P. and let him be someone else’s problem. Good job I never found you first, eh!” Connor’s light-hearted smile falters at Ralph’s fearful look.

“Again, I completely understand if any of you feel duped into being my friend and wish to use your own agency to - just, please, direct all of your disappointment towards me and not -” 

“Ralphie, babes, we’re saying we get it. Kinda. I dunno, this is all messing with my head a bit,” Grace blows out a breath, and everyone makes general noises of agreement. “But of course we still wanna be friends with you, you big nelly!”

“Yeah, we love teaching you words and things you’d never know. Now that we know why, we can teach you way more!” Scott’s eyes glisten mischievously.

“I mean, I know I’m the one who technically turned you into a bit of a Swiftie, but I’m not letting go of that any time soon,” Anna jokes, which causes Ralph to finally let out a small laugh. “And besides, whose head am I gonna pat without you around?!”

“I never meant to deceive you all,” Ralph says quietly.

“We know,” Connor reassures in the same tone, “but you didn’t really trick us into anything. And hey, it could’ve been worse. I’d rather you were a secret time traveller than a secret serial killer!”

Ralph finally lets himself smile at Connor, who returns it. He sits up a little more confidently. “I can’t tell you what a relief it will be to never have to worry about what I say anymore!”

“I mean, still, this information can’t leave the people in this room,” you explain, gesturing around to everyone. “There’s all sorts of legalities that I’ve never been able to figure out, like a passport,” you gesture to Connor and Lauren, “or setting him up with a bank account, or medical stuff -”

“I mean, surely there’s people out there who were never registered at birth or whatever, right? Maybe we just play Ralph off as one of those?” Anna asks.

“Maybe. But who do we say he is? If we call him a Penbury, as in we try and say that he’s his own relative, his last technical record from 1926 is that he enlisted, went MIA and was presumed dead,” you shrug.

“Shit, yeah, your mum does all that stuff, doesn’t she? Have a look, see what his sister’s stuff says, maybe we can sneak him in that way,” Scott leans in, and everyone else starts shuffling closer, too.

Ralph, having been sat dumbfounded for several minutes, finally finds his voice. “Sorry, but now I’m the one who’s rather lost. So… Not only are none of you ousting me, you’re planning to deceive the law for me?!”

“Yeah, didn’t you hear Anna earlier? You’re family,” Connor smiles affectionately at him, and Ralph’s ears turn pink as his lower lip trembles.

You log into your mum’s ancestry account and once again look up Ralph’s name, your eyes going wide when you see the name next to him. “Okay, so Victoria’s got about six surnames, so I’m sure we can slip you in there somewhere,” you shake your head. Having only looked at his census before, you look through the data they have on Ralph and gasp loudly. Everyone’s gaze snaps to you as you flip your phone over to show them a photo of Ralph, dated February 1926, looking exactly how you remember he did the day you met him, dressed head to toe in Army uniform.

“Oh, you could totally say that you’d been digging up family stuff and you think you’re a dead ringer for… How many generations back would that be?” Anna asks.

You count on your fingers, “Okay, so 1901… Let’s say 30 years per generation, that’s like 3 to get to you being around our age… Which would make OG Ralph your potential… Great-grandpa.” You grimace at the same realisation that Connor and Scott come to, as they point and laugh at you.

“You’re dating someone old enough to be your -”

“He’s twenty-six! Please don’t make me think of it any other way!” You wince, making everyone laugh. “Three generations of unregistered babies is a bit of a stretch…” You shake your head. “Let’s just table this for now. He’s not going anywhere for the time being, are you?” You turn to ask Ralph, who violently shakes his head, still blinking his tears away. “There we go. So, let’s just let everything… Sink in, for now. And we’ll keep thinking of what to do in the long run.”

Ralph hugs everyone goodbye extra tightly. You offer an extra apology to all of your friends, yourself, but they all echo the earlier sentiments that they would have done the same if they were in such a predicament. That they probably would have talked you out of keeping Ralph fugitive for as long as you have. That, if anything, they’re grateful you never gave them the chance to advise you, because if you’d listened to them, none of you would have him in your lives, and one thing everyone in the room agrees on is that life’s been far better with him in it. You have to practically frog-march Ralph out of the door as he starts getting misty-eyed again.

Once you and Ralph are laying in bed, you cuddle up to him, wrapping your arm around his torso. “How you feeling, now?”

“I can’t feel much less than spectacular with you in my arms, my love,” Ralph smiles as he holds you even closer to him.

“Not just all the mushy stuff, you big sap,” you tease. “I mean, like, having to tell everyone.”

“Ah. Yes, well. That went far better than I ever imagined,” he admits softly.

“Wanna admit now that you mean a hell of a lot more to people now that you’ve found the right ones?” You look up at him with a grin.

He squeezes his arm around you to prompt you into leaning up to kiss him. Once you break away from him, he sighs happily. “I suppose, it’s a comfort to know what real friendship is supposed to feel like.”

“Exactly. You don’t give up on the right people. And you’re our right person,” you nuzzle into his neck and he buries his face in your hair.

“That sentiment is more than mutual. Goodnight, my love. Pleasant dreams.“

“Night, Ralphie. Love you, too.”

The next morning, you and Ralph both have the day off, a rare occurrence that you’re extra grateful for today. Of course, you’d love to spend it doing more of what you’d been doing just yesterday, but you’d rather be extra safe and get Ralph some protection, as well as your own birth control. And you needed to go into town for some other things, anyway. You decide to take Ralph with you, though - mostly, so that you can coach him into being able to buy his own condoms without spontaneously combusting on the spot.

Ralph wants to ask his boss something, too, so you head to the old high street where his shop is. While you do love his colleagues, you know that Babs will insist on you two staying for a cup of tea. And then another. And then she’s made you lunch. And then you’re spending your whole day off at Ralph’s workplace. Which honestly, has been fun when it’s happened before, but you do have things on your personal agenda today. And then when they’re done…

You wave to Babs through the shop window when you hear some vaguely familiar voices approaching.

“Nah, bruv, I think your mate Pete got his maths all mixed up, this ain’t when we left here.”

“Maybe we’re in whatever year he just wanted to come back to.”

“Nah, mate, I told him, clear as mud: take us back to the present day.”

“Okay, but Jase, you do realise we’ve travelled back and forth between multiple decades since -”

“Shhh, shut the fuck up, someone’s right there! We should just ask them.”

“Fantastic idea, sis. What do you want to do, rock right up and say, ‘Hello, completely normal and unaware person. Could you, for no strange reason whatsoever, happen to tell me what year it is?’?!”

You’d most certainly know that voice anywhere. Looking over at your high school crush, you smirk at Nicholas, his sister and his friends as you tell him, “March 15th, 2023.”

All four of them look incredulously at you. You can see some cogs turning behind their eyes until, finally, Jason shouts your name out. You grin and nod at him, and he yells, “Fuckin’ ’ell! How the fuck are you?!”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Still kicking about, you know how it is. What about you lot? You must’ve been… Busy.”

“Yeah! Yeah, um… Quick question, how did you…?” Nicholas starts, but pauses, trying to think of how to articulate himself.

After a few seconds, Lauren scoffs, “How’d you know to tell us what the date is so calm, like?”

“Well…” You singsong in a high-pitched tone as the door to the costume shop swings open again. Ralph emerges, to a series of shocked gasps.

“Fucking hell, doesn’t he look the spit image of -”

“Yeah, if you just slick his hair right down, and put him in a bow tie and a straw hat, I reckon - Here, you wouldn’t happen to have a great-grandad or something called Ralph, would you?”

“Wait!” Lauren shouts, holding her hands out. She studies Ralph intricately, who looks as though he’s still processing the sight in front of him. “You look just like Ralph, but all modern-like…” She points to him, and then to you. “And you know that we’ve been… In a different time…” She sticks her head out and squints her eyes back at Ralph. “Are you -?” He nods, still stunned into a wide-eyed silence.

Horace raises his arms in an excited greeting. “Ralph! My boy! We thought you’d died!” He pulls him into a hug that sweeps him off his feet. Ralph hangs against Horace’s body as though he were a ragdoll, his face still bewildered. “Let me take a good look at you,” he says as he puts Ralph down, before letting out a single cackle. “Ha, look at you! Look at this jacket, these chains! You’re a proper modern man, ain’t ya, with your sunglasses and your - How’ve you been, what you been up to?!”

“How did you get here?!” Nick asks in disbelief. You recap very quickly how Ralph found Pete - deliberately redacting that he’d attempted to return home to them - and ended up here, where you’d found him and taken him in.

Just as you finish explaining, someone approaches you with an, “Excuse me?” They tap your arm, but lean around you to look at Ralph and nod with a smile, “I thought that was him! Ralph from Twitter, right? Oh my god, I wish my phone hadn’t died, or I’d so ask for a selfie with you!”

Four confused faces look over at Ralph, but you wave the stranger off with a, “Not to worry! I can take one on his phone for him to tweet, if you want? And then you can save it for yourself when you’re home?”

“Oh my god, would you? That’s so sweet! Thank you!” They gush before posing for a photo with him. You quickly get their Twitter handle to include in his tweet, and wave them off as they walk away with a spring in their step.

“What was all that, then?” Jason asks with amusement. “Ralph from Twitter?!”

“Long story. I never told my friends Ralph was from the 1920s, so they thought anyone his age should be on Twitter by now. He kept tweeting inane shit that he thought he was Googling, people found it hilarious, and now he’s sort of social media famous,” you explain with a shrug, to everyone’s laughter.

Lauren looks Ralph up and down, not unlike the way Ralph looks at you, and rubs her hands together. “Famous, eh? I like the sound of that. Sounds like we’ve got some catching up to do, eh, Ralph?”

You feel rage burn through you at the audacity that Lauren has, clearly only interested in Ralph for a chance at fame herself. At how she could so outwardly come for your man - though, granted, Ralph’s been too shellshocked to make that much clear.

You, yourself, start to freeze up as you look over at him. What if this is it? The validation he’d been craving for so long? A second chance at the love he’d felt so strongly about losing, he’d fled the country. If he was willing to risk losing it all after having his heart broken, what else would he be willing to lose to win her back?!

Finally, after what feels like an eternity of silence, Ralph takes a deep breath in. “I don’t think there’s anything more to be caught up on.” He holds your arm to smile warmly at you, “You captured everything perfectly, darling,” before leaning in to kiss you. Jason and Horace hoot and holler, while Lauren makes a disgusted face.

“Fair enough. Rather you than me, anyway, I’d probably get sick of him after a while,” she sneers.

“Good job I won’t, then, eh!” You flash a sickly sweet grin at her as you wrap your arms around one of Ralph’s, hugging it tightly.

“Looks like you really are out of a shot, mate,” Jason grins at Nick, who shoves him.

“Give over, that was -” he flusters, and you laugh, which he sighs at. “Okay, well, so as to explain myself and not sound like a complete lunatic, I, uh… Might have had a bit of a thing for you in school, but I was always too chicken to do anything about it. And even though that was years ago at this point, apparently I’m not allowed to live it down,” he forces a smile on his face, making you laugh harder.

“If it’s any consolation, that was mutual, by the way,” you smirk. You feel Ralph tense under your grip and bury your head against his bicep. “But I don’t think it was meant to be, in the end.”

“God, can you imagine, in another universe, it would’ve been you and Nick, Jase and Victoria, and Lauren and Ralph!” Horace laughs before faltering. “But then who’s left for me?”

You shake your head. “What are you lot planning on doing in terms of living somewhere?”

“Dunno, we brought some stuff over from different time periods in the hopes we could make some big money off some antique dealers,” Nick gestures to the bags they’d placed on the ground while talking to you.

“Good luck, things have changed a lot in the last, what’s it been, six years for you? Yeah, the housing market’s a fucking nightmare,” you shake your head.

“Paying over a thousand pounds a month to live in a shoebox, I ask you,” Ralph mutters under his breath in disgust. You shoot him an offended glance and he simpers back, “But I’d live in a matchbox if it meant living with you, my love.” You grin back, angling your cheek for him to kiss it, to more retching sounds from Lauren. 

“Well, I was wondering if we could chance our luck with Ralph’s place, but seeing as though our only way in would be claiming Jason’s son left it to us in his will, when he’d be older than us in this time…” Nick shakes his head, and you and Ralph look incredulously at him.

“Sorry, what?! Ralph’s place?! You mean the big fuck-off mansion they lived in? That’s a Waterstone’s now, and even if it was, there’s no way you’d afford a place like that -”

The others look at you in confusion. “Victoria told us that the house was destroyed in an air raid,” Nick explains slowly.

You shake your head, pointing towards the bookstore. “Go look for yourself, plaque’s still there, and everything. She ended up spending all the Penbury fortune, went flat broke.”

“Explains a lot,” Lauren mutters under her breath.

“Yes, well, anyway!” Jason raises his hands up, as well as his voice. “I’m on about the one that Victoria ended up getting when he di- well, ‘died’, I guess,” Jason holds up air quotes over the word ‘died’. You both stand there in stunned silence, so he explains, “Vic said she found a letter from your dad, before the place got bombed, or… Whatever the fuck actually happened to it, it doesn’t matter, now. The letter was meant to go to his lawyer but I guess he never got to give it to him before… Well,” he gestures, and you both nod in understanding. “Anyway, so in this letter your dad had written, it said that he’d bought an extra place, for if you were to ever go off to war and want a place to come back that was all your own,” he gestures to Ralph, who swallows hard.

“Father bought… Bought me a house?!” He asks, stunned.

“He wrote some bullshit in there about how it might help you start a family and keep the Penbury name intact, that your… ‘pursuit of a wife would be easier if you already had a place of your own’,” Jason pulls a face and shakes his head.

Ralph nods in understanding, pressing his lips together with a faltering, “Now that sounds like Father.”

“So, when you ‘died’, Vic claimed that she had the right to inherit that house, and that’s where we lived. And, um… I sort of… Gave you a nephew?” Jason smiles weakly at Ralph. “But he went off and started his life elsewhere, and fuck knows what happened to him.”

“Hmm, I thought I could maybe blag our way into claiming that Jase is entitled to inherit it, too, because of the family name, but I doubt it, if JJ never came back for it. I seriously doubt Victoria’s still going,” he shakes his head. “Never mind, we’ll just start flogging this stuff and go from there. Anyway! Insane to see both of you, together, at the same time, but, y’know. Glad to see you’re both well, now.” Nick smiles at you both, and you nod.

“Good to see you guys, too! Helps put things at ease that the whole time travelling thing doesn’t make the universe implode on itself.” They laugh, and you look over at the building next to you before nudging Ralph. “Hey, they could probably try selling some of their stuff to your shop, couldn’t they?”

“There’d be no harm in trying,” Ralph agrees. “Though I should warn you, the owner is a tad… Eccentric.”

Lauren scoffs, “Fuck me, if Ralph’s calling someone eccentric, they must be a raving fucking lunatic!” She picks up one of the bags and heads to the door, slapping Ralph’s arm as she walks past him. “See you around, yeah?”

“Y-Yes, of course. All of you,” Ralph smiles, shaking the other men’s hands as they all pile into Ralph’s workplace.

Your mind starts trying to work in rapid fire, trying desperately to connect dots that seem impossible to connect. Thankfully, Ralph for once manages to keep you on task, even managing to buy what you’d asked him to - though instead of working up the nerve to seek out a cashier, he’d opted for the equally challenging task of trying to operate a self-service checkout while you frantically Google every little bump in the road you come across - though on incognito mode, of course, just in case.

Once you’re sitting down together in a cafe, waiting on your lunch, you finally try and articulate your train of thought to Ralph. “Look, all you need to prove that you’re a rightful heir is a name, a story that you’re related, and three months’ worth of proof that you live somewhere. So, granted, we’re gonna need to find something to sign you up to that’ll mail you stuff, but after that, in just three months, we might be able to get that place!”

“Well,” Ralph starts, wringing his hands together on the table. “Babs was telling me something about - about the taxes she has to file, apparently there’s some sort of form I have to be given at the end of the month, I didn’t say anything because she’s the one that pays me, but she had said something about deducting it from my pay already, it’s a… System I couldn’t wrap my head around,” he shakes his head. “But she did say… That if I’m asked to prove anything about my pay, she also has my official pay slips in her possession.”

You look at him incredulously. “So, what, they have your work’s address on them? As if you live there?”

“Not quite… She asked for our address some time ago, and I assumed it was in case of emergencies so I told her, and so I suppose that’s what she’s submitted on the slips. She said that she never sends them because there’s no point, if we want them, we can simply ask her.”

You’re practically vibrating in your seat with excitement. “So, we can take those… With your name on… Make up some story about how we found a photo online of your great-grandad who looks just like you and found out he owned that house…” You grin at him. “And it’d be ours!”

Ralph deflates a little. “I wish I could share your enthusiasm, my love, but I fear our luck has run out by now. I mean, surely I’d need a legal record, too!”

You shake your head furiously. “It only says they might ask, online. And you’ve charmed your way out of identification before on countless occasions, what’s one more time?! “

“It’s just an awfully big risk, I mean, what if we get caught? What if we’re imprisoned, questioned - would they even believe what happened with me? It’s just too close to being impossible!”

“Exactly!” You slap the table a few times before grabbing Ralph’s hands to hold them. “Everything about us is just shy of being impossible. You are a 26 year old man who was born in 1901. I am someone who’d given up entirely on love until I literally walked right into meeting my literal soulmate.”

Ralph smiles bashfully, “I wouldn’t have thought you believed in soulmates.”

“That’s my point! I didn’t either! I never would have! But you make the almost-impossible entirely possible. You made an entire life for yourself here where you are loved and admired by literally thousands of people, including the most ride-or-die friends you could have asked for. That are, probably right this second, also researching how to keep you here as long as we possibly can. Who can say they’ve got friends like that, hm? You think Victoria and all her little pals would put that much effort into keeping her around?” Ralph shakes his head. “Right. Because you’re special, Ralph. I know it. We all know it. Just… Come on.”

“But there’ll be inheritance tax, surely,” he counters, “and then, what? I haven’t paid tax in… Ninety-seven years!”

“So, if that happens, we do what Anna says. Once we’ve established that you’re definitely entitled to the house in the name of Ralph Penbury, we spin a tale that you were never registered. Sure, you’d probably be lumped with a load of tax to pay back, but…” You tut out a breath as you think before gasping, clapping and holding his hands again. “What if, we get the house, but I tell my parents we’re buying it, rather than inheriting it?! Get them to give me a loan for a deposit, you use it to start paying off tax stuff, and then instead of all our money going on rent, you can pay the tax people back and I can pay my parents back.”

“It all sounds rather hair-brained,” Ralph states, but with a smile that says he believes in the cause.

“It’s completely hair-brained,” you admit with a nod. “It’s insane and out there and nobody in their right mind would actually think it works. Which is what’s gonna make it work. Right?”

“It’s just - It’s the risk,” Ralph shakes his head, but you pull his hands up to your mouth, kissing his knuckles.

“Ralph Do-You-Have-A-Middle-Name? Penbury.” He laughs. “I am so… Ridiculously, madly, insanely in love with you that I would be willing to put my entire life on the line for you. I would quite literally risk it all.”

Ralph’s ears burn red as he smiles bashfully. “And you call me the hopeless romantic.”

“God, I know. I guess you’ve corrupted me, too,” you pull a face, and he laughs.

“You’re right, though. What sort of man would I be if I didn’t heed my own word? Though I may have far less to put on the line… I would do anything for you, my love. As long as I still have you, I will have everything.”

“Trust you to out-fluff me,” you smirk. “So, you’re willing to give it a shot?”

He takes a deep breath in, and finally nods. “Very well. Whatever happens, we shall have each other, always.”

You kiss his hands again with a grin. “Always.”

~~~

The clang of metal against metal as the door shuts behind you makes you jump out of your skin. “Jesus fucking Christ, warn someone when you’re doing that, won’t you?” you glare over at the uniform-clad man as he wrenches his key out of the lock.

“If it’s too loud for your delicate little ears, sunshine, don’t stay so close,” he sneers.

“Got no choice, have I?” you ask, rolling your eyes and gesturing down, and an almost wicked smile creeps along the man’s face.

“That’s what you get, ending up in a place like this where people like you don’t belong,” he tuts, shaking his head. “If you can’t hack it…”

“Oi, dickhead,” a voice calls from behind you. “You’re all done, now, ain’t ya? If you want to keep that face of yours arranged the way your mother made it, you’ll jog on.”

He looks at you with a smug frown, waggling his eyebrows, “That really the sort of thing you want to be known for? Dangerous reputation around these parts.”

You groan, leaning down to press your forehead into the knuckles holding your car door open as you’re standing halfway in it. “Just get that lorry of yours out of my parking space before I get done for being on double yellow lines, yeah?” The man kisses his teeth as he clambers back into his vehicle and drives away. You pull a face as you put on a mock voice, “‘Get a man with a van’, they said. ‘It’ll make your move so much easier’, they said. Prick. Thanks for helping me deal with him,” you simper at Ralph’s friend Charlotte as she scoops up a box from the pavement.

“Yeah, well. Someone’s gotta put pricks like that in their place, and it sure as shit ain’t our Ralphie,” she scoffs, and you chuckle. "Want me to go grab him so you lovebirds can say goodbye?” She says in a joking tone, pulling a kissy face at you.

You laugh, “Says the person who can’t go twelve seconds without sucking on Yankee-Doodle’s face in there,” you waggle your eyebrows.

“You’re lucky I like you, d’y’know that?” she teases, sticking her tongue out at you before turning on her heel, laughing as she faces away from you and sees Ralph emerging out from the front door of his townhouse. She wolf-whistles as the two cross paths, which Ralph looks very confused at, to your amusement.

“Sorry I have to go into work,” you pout your lower lip out in a frown as he approaches you. “They’re just so short-staffed, and I -”

“Don’t you fret, my love,” he interjects, leaning in to press a quick peck to your lips. “You must go where you are needed. Not to worry, we will remain hard at work here, and then when you return, you can relax in your new, furnished home.”

“Our home,” you correct him. “It is yours, after all. I just can’t believe that this is all real.”

“I’ve felt that way for some time, myself,” Ralph admits softly, stroking your cheek with the backs of his fingers, and you feel yourself physically melt against your car door.

“Right, I’m going before I end up feeling even worse about leaving you guys behind.” You pull Ralph in for another, longer kiss, carding your fingers through his curls as he cradles the back of your neck. A laugh bubbles between your lips as you murmur against him, “This isn’t helping!”

“Ah, what’s one more minute of them not having you?” he smiles coyly at you, and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“What if they said that about me coming back home to you, hm?”

Reluctantly, Ralph steps away. “Very well. Have a wonderful day, darling. Travel safely.”

You turn your nose up and shake your head. “Nah, think I’m gonna finally live life on the edge today.” Ralph gives you a look that tells you he isn’t amused, and you grin back, blowing him a kiss. “Be good!”

“When aren’t I?!”

~~~

You’re not sure that you’ll take the train every time you have to go to work, now; despite it being quicker, having to actively pay both ways and being sandwiched amongst so many people just doesn’t seem worth it. Still, today of all days, you wanted to get home as quickly as you could, despite all the local landmarks tempting your inner tourist. You’ve got all the time in the world now to explore them, and besides, it’d be far more entertaining showing them all to Ralph.

You unlock the door and are immediately greeted by the smell of something cooking, something really good. You step through the hallway and into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe as you watch Ralph reading from a recipe book, squinting close to the page as he drags his finger across each line of his next instruction, his mouth moving along with every word. "Looks like you could do with some glasses," you pipe up, and Ralph yelps in surprise as he looks up at you.

"Hello, my love! Welcome home! Um, I didn't hear you come in, my apologies, I'd have met you at the door if I'd have known."

"It's okay," you soothe as you stride over to him, pulling him into a deep kiss. "What's this in aid of, is everyone staying for dinner?" A pang of disappointment strikes your chest. As much as you love yours and Ralph's friends, you were sort of hoping to have your first night in the new house alone with him.

"Not tonight, darling, this is in aid of you!" Ralph smiles over at you. "Since I have been learning, and you have been working so hard at your shop, especially juggling it all with sorting out the house and you've still been the one to make countless meals for us, I thought I would try and make your favourite meal."

You let out a small, happy whimper, kissing his cheek. "As long as it hasn't been stressing you out. Do you want any help?"

"Well, I suppose now that you mention it, I do need somebody to stand right there and just look casually beautiful, and - well, would you look at that, you're a natural!" He beams over at you, leaning in to kiss you again.

You grin bashfully, hiding your face in his shoulder. "God, look at what you've done to me! You've made me all mushy and shit."

"Happy to help, my love," he smiles, pressing one more kiss to your head before returning to his recipe.

"Sure you don't want me to help? Read things out or anything? I don't want you straining your eyes," you frown.

"Well, it's not as though I can get my eyes tested, is it?" he asks as he continues preparing food.

"But if it's just a case of reading close-up, you can get reading glasses over the counter in the shops," you explain.

"But aren't glasses rather… Unseemly?" he asks with knitted brow.

You shake your head. "If anything, the right ones would make you appear very, very… Seemly," you pull a face, not knowing if that was the correct term to use or not, and Ralph laughs gently.

"Just go and get comfortable, my love. I will call for you when dinner is served."

"Oh, yeah, forgot we have a dining room with a table, now," you smirk. "Just look at us, living the high life!"

Ralph gasps, "Oh, speaking of! Hannah left us a housewarming gift, she donated her tee-vee so that we could have one in our bedroom, as well!"

The way Ralph elongates the letters in TV so deliberately will never not charm you. "That was nice of her! How come?"

"She's moving in with that girl she met last month. All seems a bit fast-moving, if you ask me."

You look at him incredulously. "Look who's talking!"

"Yes, Hannah did point out something similar to me," he admits, ears blushing. 

You chuckle as you navigate your way through to your new bedroom. It seems strange, your familiar furniture against such an unfamiliar backdrop. Every room looks so dated - naturally, it hadn't been touched since the 50s, apparently. Still, that Pinterest board you've been working on for years is finally going to go to good use.

Your heart swells when you see the bed littered with rose petals, a classic touch that has Ralph written all over it. You explore all the dressers and wardrobes in the room, familiarising yourself with where Ralph and your friends have decided to unpack your things. You open up your underwear drawer, thumbing across the carefully-arranged bras with a smile. Finding a particularly intricate number, you fish for its matching underwear, and decide to change into it. Ralph did ask you to slip into something more comfortable, right? You find something flattering to put over the whole set and rejoin him downstairs.

He's stirring something in a pan, looking rather proud of himself, when you get back to the kitchen. This time, you tap your knuckles against the door to make your presence known, so as not to surprise him. However, once he sees you, Ralph immediately drops the utensil he's using back into the pot with an almighty clatter, his jaw visibly dropping. You smile bashfully and he clears his throat, "Forgive my reaction, my darling, but you look positively ravishing."

In Ralphspeak, you know that's the equivalent of him calling you the closest thing to sexy he's probably willing to say. At least, for now. Maybe you've still a little corruption left in you. Still, it's enough to cause your heart to race. "You like?"

"I love. I mean, of course, I love you no matter what, but…" He blows out a breath that tickles the curls that hang across his brow. "You really do look absolutely delectable."

After a lingering moment, you manage to tear your eyes away to look at what's cooking. "Speaking of, so does this! You sure I can't be of any help?"

"Not at all, my dear, it's just about ready to serve. And just in time, so I can no longer fear about getting too… Distracted," he smiles coyly, looking you up and down the way he always does. There's something a little different in the way he looks at you, though. A different sort of gleam illuminates his eyes. One that makes you want to wolf down your food, drag him up to the bedroom and pull him on top of you.

But still, he's worked hard on this meal, and he looks so proud of himself. Though he dishes up, he still rushes ahead of you into the dining room to make sure he pulls out your seat for you, guiding the chair back with you as you readjust it and kissing your cheek before lighting a candle you vaguely recognise as an old secret Santa gift that you never ended up using, and going back for your food.

You exchange stories about your day: you, about the stresses of working short-staffed on a weekend during a school holiday, meaning a terrifying crossover of screaming babies and toddlers, chaotic children, less-than-trustworthy teenagers and overly-entitled adults; Ralph, about all the different ways your friends almost broke almost every piece of furniture you own while trying to get it into the house. Both equally stressful for you to recount.

At first, once you're done, Ralph insists on cleaning up after himself, but after a lot of pouting, eyelash batting and gentle touches, you coax him out to sit in the living room - another whole room dedicated to one thing, you've not lived like this since you moved out of your parents' - and cuddle up to him on the sofa.

Your embrace barely lasts a minute before your lips are on his, again. He’s desperate to get as close to you as he can, clawing at your clothes as he presses the kiss open. Holding the back of his neck to steady yourself, you move yourself up to straddle his lap, letting your tongue slip into his mouth and moaning at the sensation of his against yours. He echoes you as his hands slip down your sides to squeeze your hips. You buck them under his touch, feeling his erection grow beneath you.

He chokes out a soft, “May I?” as his fingers curl around to grip at the fabric of your top. You nod, sitting back and holding your arms up to let him take it off of you. He starts trying to fold it up behind you but, impatient, you take the garment from him and blindly throw it behind you, holding his face to kiss him again.

He takes your hands into his own and guides them back down, his kisses moving from your lips, down your jaw and to your neck, where he finds an especially sensitive spot and stays there, kissing it over and over again, all while muttering sweet nothings to you. “You are so very beautiful, my darling… How fortunate I am to be this intimate with you… Just exquisite in every conceivable way…" You rock your hips faster at his words, throwing him off his train of thought entirely as he sits back and watches you lustfully.

His gaze isn't trained on your face, though. Instead, he's transfixed on the way your breasts move, both from your heaving breaths and from grinding on him. Biting your lip, you wrap a hand around the back of his neck and start pushing it towards you as his tongue just pokes out enough to wet his lips. "Wanna put that mouth to better use?" You ask as you guide him closer to your chest.

He gasps in soft delight, looking up at you gleefully. "Are you quite sure?" You nod and his face melts into one of pure ecstacy. "Thank you, my love," he mutters before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. 

His plush lips press against your flesh as he kisses, sucks and licks at your nipple. Biting back a moan, you rest your hand in his hair, ruffling it slightly and muttering with a smile, “You like that, don’t you?” He hums out an mm-hm that vibrates against your skin, and reaches up to play the other nipple between his finger and thumb. You keen towards him, grip tightening and head bending down to him as you groan loudly, “Fuck, that’s it, good boy!” Words you’d never have thought you’d say in such a context fly out of your mouth so easily, and you could swear he sounded like he was chirping with happiness as you said them.

He moves away from the breast he’s suckling on, pressing one more brief peck to your wet, hardened nipple, and starts to focus on the other, still brushing the other nipple with the backs of his knuckles. You whine, whimper and moan as your still-clothed cunt begs for sweet release. You’re constantly amazed at how quickly Ralph can bring you to an apex few had ever even managed to. “God, Ralph, need you so bad.”

“Of course, please forgive me, got rather carried away there,” he mumbles apologetically to you, but the kiss you press to his forehead tells him there’s nothing for him to be sorry for. Ralph looks around, his brow furrowing. “Um, I don’t wish to diminish the mood at all, but there doesn’t seem to be an awful lot of… Space, here.”

You cock your head, smiling coyly. “You wanna go to the bed you prepared for this exact occasion?”

Ralph returns a smaller, more sheepish smile, his ears tinting. “Ah, you noticed. I suppose, of course you did, it would be difficult not to. Still, was it alright? Or too much?” His face falls. “It was too much, wasn’t it?”

You fleetingly frown in thought. “A little, yeah.” Your expression quickly changes back into a grin, though. “But it was your brand of too much, which makes it perfect.” You lean back to unbutton his shirt. “Unfortunately, my brand is not being patient enough to wait that long.”

“I wouldn’t say that of you, you were rather patient with me all those months,” Ralph notes pointedly, and you laugh.

“Yeah, you used it all up!” You climb off of him, slowly sliding the bottom half of your outfit off, but leaving your underwear on. Looking over at him gawking, you smirk, "You sure you want this? Not exactly dressed for the occasion."

He reaches up to stroke the pad of his thumb across the intricate design of your underwear. "Of course, you had been wearing a matching set, but it was I who became so impatient that I missed out on seeing it in full, my deepest apologies, my love, I - well," he suddenly, hurriedly slips himself out of all his clothes, leaving them in a heap by his feet, making you giggle again.

"Maybe I'll still let you see it," you tell him suggestively, hooking your thumbs into the elastic of your panties. "Maybe I'll wear it all again and take some photos on your phone." With nothing left to cover it, you watch Ralph's cock twitch at the idea and bite your lip to compose yourself. "Maybe," you continue as you slowly push your underwear down your thighs, "I'll leave a video or two, as well." You watch his face as you let them fall past your ankle, stepping out of them and walking back over to him. "What do you think?"

"I think you spoil me, my love," he smiles softly. He reaches down to the jeans he'd all but ripped off of himself, fumbling through a pocket until he pulls out a condom and starts to put it on himself.

Watching the act of him wrapping it around himself and sliding it down is almost enough to totally distract you from your initial thought. Almost. "Did you really just have a condom just sitting there in your pocket? And you make out like I'm the horndog!"

Ralph blushes, "Yes, well, I sort of… Hoped we would… Christen the place, so to speak.”

You climb into his lap, hovering yourself to line up with where he’s holding his shaft. “I like that idea,” you smile softly before sliding yourself down onto him. You both let out staggered moans as you let yourself get used to the sensation of being filled by him, before kneeling yourself up to the point where you can just about feel his tip still inside you and then sinking yourself back down.

His hands grip your hips tightly as he moans your name. You repeat the motions a few times, revelling in the way it feels to drop onto him, having him enter you so deeply and so quickly. You soon start to feel an ache, though, and decide to pace yourself, keeping him bottomed out inside of you and grinding against him until you feel rested enough to go again. 

You can see Ralph’s mouth constantly silently moving, as though he wants to keep complimenting you the way he always does, but he’s too blissed out from feeling you clench around him, your cunt gripping his cock tightly with no intention of ever letting him back out of you again. You especially try to make sure you commit the face he makes every time you pull yourself out just to fuck yourself back down onto him again, to your memory, knowing that just remembering the way he reacts to you would be enough to turn you on, if you ever needed anything to fuel your imagination.

At one point, while you’re rocking your hips with him inside you, you finally manage to get yourself at just the right angle to hit that sweet spot that Ralph is always able to find. Keeping yourself at the same angle, you move yourself even faster, moaning louder and more often.

Ralph seems to notice, and does his best to hold you in place as he bucks his hips up underneath your weight. You curl yourself forward, arms wrapped around his shoulders and face buried in his neck as he fucks you from where he sits beneath you. Knowing how good it makes you feel when he mutters sweet sentiments to you, you mumble against his skin, “Feel so good, Ralphie… You always know how to, you’re fucking amazing… So good to me, so sweet, my Ralph, no-one else’s… My sweet and handsome boy, knows just how to please me, fuck.” 

."He whimpers and whines, music to your ears as you feel your climax start to build again. “Oh, god, Ralphie, I’m so clo- Oh my god,” you groan as he starts to massage your clit in rapid circles. “Oh, fuck, yes, so good to me, thank you… Wish I could, do more for you.”

“- Already do the absolute most, darling,” he soothes. “’M already embarrassingly near to finishing, myself.”

You shake your head, “Nothing to be ashamed of, not at all, god, please cum for me, Ralphie, and I will for you, please?” Ralph completely falls apart beneath you at your words, moaning your name and digging his fingers bruisingly into your skin. You feel yourself becoming one with him as you ride out your orgasm.

He wraps his arms around your hips, cradling you on his lap, and you rest your forehead against his as you both breathe heavily, intertwined in body, in breath, in spirit. You’d never, ever thought you’d even ever contemplate the idea a year ago, but in this moment, you really are certain that Ralph is your one true soulmate.

He leans in to envelop your lips with his own in a sweet and passionate kiss before muttering, “Forgive me, my love, but I do rather need to take care of…”

You whine indignantly, but stand to climb off of him. “Suppose I should actually change into something comfortable now, eh?” You ask humorously, and you hear his laughter from where he’s throwing his used condom away in the bathroom. The downstairs bathroom that you now have in the townhouse where you live with the love of your life. This was always pipe-dream material, but here you are. Living it.

You run upstairs, taking a moment to again admire the state of the bed and think about all the ways you plan to christen it later, and look through clothes to get changed into. Opting for a tank-top-and-pyjama-bottoms combination, you take yourself to your en-suite and freshen up as you get changed.

When you open up the door again, Ralph is just pulling a white shirt over his head, and you smile fondly at his choice to pair it with a very familiar pair of sweatpants. “Those were the first clothes I ever gave you,” you recall, and he looks at you with a similar expression.

“I believe that was also what you had chosen to wear the first night I met you, as well. When you gave me your bed without knowing anything at all about me,” he reminisces.

You giggle, “Oh, yeah, you wouldn’t even look me in the eye because you didn’t want to be ‘improper’, now look at you!” You tap his nose teasingly, and his ears flush red.

“Oh, hush,” he frowns, but the air of a laugh hangs in his voice. “You really were - I mean, to take me in as you did, in my time of need while knowing absolutely nothing about me, especially after Mister Peter told you my far-fetched reasoning for being here…” Ralph wraps his arms around your waist. “Giving me the life I have now, the friends I have, the - everything,” he sighs wistfully. 

“Yeah, well. You try looking you right in the chocolate buttons and saying no to that face,” you smirk, and he laughs. “It’s like I said when we went to the inheritance people to get this place. With my gift of the gab, and your gift of the… Face, the charm, and the everything else you’ve got going for you, we’re unstoppable,” you beam.

“I still can’t believe you were able to talk them around like that,” he looks at you adoringly, and you shrug.

“The amount of backlog they so obviously had, and the amount of effort it would have taken if we hadn’t convinced them to cut some corners with us, it was a doddle,” you shrug. “I could tell they weren’t the brown-nosing type, they weren’t gonna go back to check every little part of what I said we’d set out to do was legitimately within their procedures.”

“A skill set like that is wasted on your little clothes shop,” he frowns, leaning forward to kiss your forehead, and you laugh.

“Yeah, well. Maybe it’s time I look for something new that’s a bit more local to this area,” you nod. “I don’t think Babs’d let you quit, though.”

“Heavens, no, she’d be out for my blood!” Ralph exclaims, and you laugh loudly.

Once you’re back at the sofa, cuddled up beneath a blanket and watching TV together, even though you’re curled up against Ralph’s chest, you can sense something’s bothering him. “You alright?” You ask him.

“Couldn’t be better, darling,” he replies, but the tension you feel beneath your cheek betrays his lie.

“Nah, c’mon, tell me,” you sit yourself up next to him, and he sighs heavily.

“Well, I was just thinking of how… I mean, yes, we have a house now, at least, but I’m still not legally a person, am I? I know we said we wouldn’t openly use that story about me never being registered and so on unless it were absolutely necessary.”

“Yeah, we agreed, only if you need serious medical treatment,” you nod.

“R-right, but what about the other things?” He asks warily, twiddling his thumbs.

“Like holidaying? We can survive not going abroad, Ralph,” you laugh.

“Not just that… What about… Well, we could never be truly wed, or be a family,” you hear his voice get weaker, shakier.

“Sure, we can,” you wrap your arm around his shoulders and pull him so that he nuzzles into your neck, stroking his hair. “Okay, so we couldn’t get, like, legally married, but so what? We can still use the same bank account as if it were a joint one. I could easily change my name by deed poll. We could still throw a wedding in every other aspect, just without the signing the register. And as for the other bit, I mean, you can register with just one parent and add another later, if we do get away with your story about neither of yours registering you.”

“You seem rather sure in your knowledge, there,” he notes with a hint of amusement.

“Yeah, well… Maybe I looked into it all a little.” He looks over at you with a knowing grin, and you feel yourself get sheepish. “What?”

“Nothing, dearest,” Ralph chimes. “Just seems a little… What’s that word that you call me all the time?”

“Sappy? Tell me about it,” you shake your head, and Ralph laughs. 

“It’s an honour to make you feel that way, darling,” he leans over to kiss you. After a few minutes, he breaks away to stroke your cheek with his thumb as he holds your face. “You seriously see a future - of us? With me? I -”

You pull him in for another kiss, laughter bubbling between you as you do so, “Yes, you big dafty!”

He chirps happily. “Well, I suppose I’ve a lot to do, then, haven’t I!”

You take a deep breath in as you brace yourself to potentially let Ralph down. “Yeah, but… look, when I said I was looking into it, I meant as in, like, way into our future, yeah? We’ve got bags of time, I just want to enjoy it all with you, you know?”

To your surprise, Ralph scoffs at you. “Well, naturally. Did you think I would propose to you in this manner? Without so much as a ring? Or even your family’s blessing?”

“Oh, well, that won’t take long at all,” you smirk. “I bet you, when we go have dinner with Mum and Dad next week, by the time we even tell them that we’re together now, Mum’ll be asking you what colour her wedding outfit should be!”

A proud smile bursts onto Ralph’s face, but it quickly fades. “Do you think they’ll fear that us getting a house together is too big of a commitment too quickly?”

“Again. Ralph. They love you,” you reiterate to him, squeezing his hand. “And once they find out you’re responsible for us moving to Southwark, where they are? Dad’ll have gotten himself ordained by the time they bring out desserts just to make sure you’d become a permanent part of the family.”

Ralph’s heart swells hundredfold at the sentiment as he embraces you in yet another kiss. “I suppose I am rather overthinking things, aren’t I?”

“Just a tad,” you scrunch your face up, and he laughs.

“I mean, it’s really no different than when we were living at your flat, really, is it?” He chuckles, and you shake your head.

“Except we could have a pet, now,” you muse, and Ralph sits up straight, his face full of excitement.

“Could we get a cat?!” He beams at you, making you laugh.

“God, you and cats, what is with that?”

“I have a theory,” he muses. “Since Cheese and I got along so well so quickly, I think because we were so similar, he put in a good word with all the other cats. That’s the only explanation there could possibly be.”

After a brief hesitation, you laugh, “Sorry, in what way are you so similar to our old neighbour’s cat?!”

“Well, both of us were sort-of confined to our little flats, neither of us technically supposed to be there. I think he could sense that of me when I first met him, back when I… Upset that neighbour of yours.”

“Because you burnt your toast so badly that you almost suffocated the ninth floor with smoke?” You ask with raised eyebrows, and Ralph slinks back into his seat bashfully.

“Well, I’ve learned now, haven’t I?” He points out.

“That, you have. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come,” you hug his arm, shuffling up to his side. “With everything. How you’ve learned to cope with all this modern stuff, all the stuff you never got to learn growing up, and just… I’m really pleased you’ve been starting to love yourself as much - well, almost as much as I love you,” you simper, resting your head on his arm. “Ugh, god, I really am a sap now, aren’t I?”

Ralph chuckles, pressing a peck onto the top of your head. “At least we can both be, together, eh?”

You sigh contentedly as he wraps his arms around you, pulling the blanket around to make sure you’re both comfortable. You look around at the walls, imagining what decorating with Ralph is going to be like in the coming few weeks, and then picturing the photos you’d hang on there. Travels with Ralph all across the country. Your eventual engagement photos, because of course Ralph’s going to make that moment as photogenic as possible so you’ll have something to capture and savour that memory forever. Wedding photos, all your friends and Ralph’s all dressed up to the nines, singing and dancing the night away to celebrate the pair of you. Pictures of your eventual babies, some with Ralph’s eyes and some with his hair but all of them with his warm, kind smile. Those kids’ first moments, their first smiles, first steps, first day at school.

You break yourself away from your trance-like train of thought to see Ralph’s watching you with all the love that could possibly exist in the world currently living in his gaze. “I’m thinking of the same, too, my love,” he whispers excitedly, as though he’s able to see into your mind telepathically. “I can’t wait for the rest of our lives, either.”

[brynnterpretations]

I want one of the boys pairings please! A lot of the stuff I’m going to say is just going to transition from topic to topic, so sorry for any whiplash. I am a female with longish dark curly hair, bangs, 5’1, glasses. I have a few tattoos and an eyebrow piercing. I love to work and talk with children, and I love working with animals, and I’m a vegetarian. For as long as I can remember I’ve had a thing for the snarky funny guy who can be kind of an asshole - and by guy I mean anyone, male, female, or anything else doesn’t matter to me. I will drool over that person. I have confessed to every single crush I have ever had though it’s usually taken some time because my crushes last for a really long time - not sure why but just felt the need to get it out there. I’m a bit mean to the person I like when a crush appears. I was diagnosed with OCD recently - a lot of repeating behaviors like checking my alarms are on and that I locked the door. Some picking at my skin as well that comes with anxiety - I’m always swatted at by my sister to stop whenever she catches me. I love to talk to people and learn about them, though it can be hard for me to make friends. I love to read and watch a lot of TV shows. The way I dress is inconsistent - long skirt and tank top one day, and then long jean shorts and baggy tee shirt the next. Though I’m always wearing my trusty reeboks!! They are old as shit and everybody tells me to get rid of them. I can be a bit bossy and stubborn - and honestly kind of mean sometimes because of my “tone” and because I think it’s what some people need - though I mean well and just care a lot. I carry a lot of passion with me! And it gets me into trouble! But I think at the end of the day you’ll understand that I just care a lot. I’m not a liar, and I have a bad poker face because every emotion is written on it. You’ll know when I’m mad! And, I could lie if I wanted to but I don’t like to lie - I want you to know how I feel about something, good or bad. I’ll argue if I need to! I stick to my morals, which is why I don’t have many friends. I’d rather have no friends than give up my morals. Unfortunately I find grey morals hot (only on television!!!!!!). I don’t like sweets much, I like salt more. I try to eat pretty healthy, but chips are hard to give up. I’m an early bird, I feel like waking up late is missing out on the day. I know this is a lot, but I’m just thinking of random attributes so you can get a good idea. I feel like that’s a good place to end! I hope I gave you enough info!

I ship you with...

Marvin T. Milk ♡

Boyfriend

GIF Source: @vcugifs ★ (link)

You and M.M. meet at CAVA, a healthy restaurant chain on 42nd St. You both share a love for healthy food, and, while in a slow-moving line, strike up some small-talk.

M.M. finds you very pretty, but isn't someone who immediately wants to ask anyone out, so you two just talk before ordering. And then, you run into each other, again and again and again.

Upon the fifth time, he decides to ask for your number — "it's rare to find a nice person to talk to in NYC" — and you two text every other day. It starts out mostly platonic, though you two share a mutual attraction off the bat, as you two text and make plans to try new foods.

After about two or so weeks of getting to know each other more and try more and more restaurants, M.M. begins seeing you as a viable romantic option. He's been pretty wary of love since.

However, he does not rush things. Fearing making a mistake and also worried about complicating things with his daughter and ex-wife, he wants to take things slow, and so... he does.

As another person with OCD, he catches onto it pretty quickly, especially the skin-picking. He doesn't push you on it, but tells you that he's always here for you to talk to, and also gives you gentle reminders that you are picking your skin when you start doing it subconsciously.

He also doesn't really have an issue with any "meanness" you may exhibit with a crush as long as it doesn't cross any of his boundaries, and would do his best to banter with you.

Around the three-month mark of hanging out, M.M. realizes he'd like to take things to the next level with you — especially with Frenchie's excited hugging and asking about "now who is this who is making you so happy, monsieur?" However, he is really, really nervous, and spends a week deliberating how to ask you if you could start seeing each other romantically.

Fortunately, though, he didn’t have to ask — he’d charmed you enough for you to blurt out your crush, and for the next few months, you two basically did everything couples did without yet being official.

M.M. would usually take things much, much slower, but after you were able to open up with him more than you had with anyone else, he decided to ask you if you would be his girlfriend over a quiet, romantic dinner with wine or your favorite beverage.

When you say yes? M.M. reaches for your hands to hold them in his and gives you the most warm, tear-jerking smile in existence.

M.M. would really, really appreciate your lack of a poker face and refusal to lie. Considering he works with Butcher of all people, and had to deal with Monique's hesitation for tough emotional conversations in the last few years of their marriage, someone who hides their feelings well is not someone he wants to be with.

You all definitely have one of the healthiest relationships there is due to your ability to communicate. While you have some sturdy walls up, your love of each other makes communication steady; maybe not always easy, but certainly relieving and strengthening.

You two are both early risers, and M.M. makes a routine of waking up early to cook you a healthy breakfast and some killer green juice.

On the topic of food, M.M. has always wanted to go vegetarian, and eventually vegan. While he isn't a big "pet" guy — bro has allergies galore — he loves animals from a distance, and when he hears you talk about it and tries your food, decides to give it a shot.

He’s also a big reader, so you both share a ton of book recommendations. As mentioned in another shift, M.M. is a micro-celebrity on Goodreads, and he would 100% urge you into getting it if you don't have it already.

You two share a spreadsheet of books you plan to read together, or books you want the other to read.

M.M. loves your appearance, and especially loves when you dress in more comfy clothes — it's always been something in every partner that does something for him.

Speaking of past partners, he introduces you to Monique and Janine, who you get along very well with. Monique and you don't talk too much just because it's a bit awkward, but you two still get along whenever you see each other.

Additionally, you basically become a second mom in Janine's eyes, and it absolutely melts M.M.'s heart whenever he sees you reading to her or playing around with her.

You three all go out for dinner on Sundays.

And, to conclude, a silly side note: your Reeboks give M.M. major anxiety, and he is always suggesting replacing them. The choice is yours, my friend.

Though he may end up buying another pair of them as a gift in hopes of

The Boys ☻

Acquaintances

GIF Source: @oceluna ★ (link)

M.M. is reluctant to have you get involved in anything relating to the boys, so they remain only your acquaintances, excluding you and Annie — you're not best friends or anything, but you get along really well and often hang out when she has the time.

As M.M. is the one Annie gets along most with outside of Hughie and Kimiko, she approaches you the first time you come in. You two end up talking for twenty minutes straight about books and your tattoos, which Annie is fascinated by.

As you come around more often, you two exchange numbers, and often go out late at night to bowling alleys and karaoke bars. Regardless of if you drink, it's always a fun time, and

While Annie doesn't share your exact sense of humor, she does find it very funny, and if you have TikTok, you two would send each other memes and videos nonstop.

Frenchie wouldn't get around to talking to you too much, but he's definitely the one who shares your sense of humor the most, so it's always really fun when he's around. Additionally, Frenchie loves animals — particularly cats — so he'd always have a fun time talking about them with you.

Also would encourage you to come with him to alleys in town that tend to have the most strays, which... is weird... and sounds very shady... but is fun, even if there are some awkward moments.

Kimiko wouldn't interact with you as much as Frenchie would, but she'd hold a silent appreciation towards you. She wouldn't always get your sense of humor, but she finds your honesty and kindness incredibly refreshing. A few times when you're left alone together, you two would pass a whiteboard around, small-talking about your lives.

And, one night when you two ended up in the office alone, you would have a really, really sweet conversation over takeout after you both had bad days.

Hughie likes you, but doesn't always know how to respond to your sense of humor, so he... kind of avoids you. Listen, listen! He does like you, but he tries to reduce awkwardness as much as he can, and he feels like he can never get it right while interacting with you.

However, once he found out you read a book that was one of the few he enjoyed (as a guy who isn't much of a reader), he'd warm up to you a lot more.

Butcher is... the most difficult of them. With your firm moral code and attraction to gray morals exclusively in fiction, he's a pretty tough guty to get along with. You're never rude to him, and he's never exceedingly rude to you besides the typical snarky comments, but y'all really just do not vibe.

Since you and M.M. share similar moral codes, too, your lack of a poker face when he ends up mentioning some B.S. Machiavelian idea has caused some borderline arguments between you two, which always ends up with Butcher telling you and M.M. to fuck off.

Queue M.M. defending your honor.

M.M. is the best boyfriend, on God.

You and Butcher can banter, though, and those are some rare but nice moments of camaraderie between you.

All in all: while Butcher's an ass and your time with the boys is limited, they all care about you, even with disagreements (AKA Butcher, the geezer). That's a pretty good accomplishment considering everything.

[toxycodone]

oxy help meeee theres a post with 10k notes going around about how posting about your kinks means those are actually your morals and values and beliefs and two of my mutuals reblogged it

show me the damn post 💀 because…huh? People like this are so funny to me because like. Okay. I can almost guarantee they’re fans of genshin/hazbin/etc. and bend over backwards to defend that shit meanwhile. (Like if you want to bring up the stuff you enjoy showcases your moral beliefs argument…two can play at that game.)

but also like…it’s literally not that difficult to understand at all that kinks/fetishes ≠ moral ideas. Not only is that incredibly harmful because it is extremely common for victims of acts of sexual violence to develop fetishes/kinks based on what happened to them (A VERY COMMON HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL PHENOMENON BY THE WAY.) but…it always sets us back way further when we have arguments like this.

a big big thing that bothers me about this too is like…where is anyone even getting the idea that just because someone may have a kink or fetish that they’re going to act on it? Just because something makes you aroused does not imply that it will ever come up in your sexual life. It doesn’t even mean you will engage in content surrounding that topic…? To go even further a kink or a fetish doesn’t even mean you’re going to be aroused by this in a sexual sense. Sometimes it’s just something you enjoy in a more average type of sense. Again, psychology and brains are extremely complicated.

I know this website is notorious for people who do not have sex but if you guys are going to start sex discourse I think a major key should be. That you engage in the action. And humping your body pillow doesn’t count. BUT ALSO. As someone w compulsive thoughts from OCD this pisses me off even more because some of the fetishes I have are extremely not common but don’t derive from any trauma I’m aware of and I’d ask myself “am I a SAer/pedo/etc.” because I was so concerned and posts like that feed into that weird psychosis shir. I brought this up to my psych and literally her answer was “anyone who is a sexual criminal is not going to second guess themselves or try to mitigate harm/ensure consent.” And I was like. Oh real.

BUR ALSO. HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY AND SEXUALITY ARE EXTREMELY COMPLICATED. You cannot define someone’s morals based on what gets their dick hard. I know it’s difficult for some of you on this website to understand because you stay inside and read manga and play video games all day, but life is not this black and white.

If taboo kinks concern you, for the love of fucking God please go pick up a book. Something academic and ideally peer reviewed (no you can’t find that on Ao3! close that tab for once in your life.) AND READ. Read about modern sex theory and human psychology. Understand that fear and arousal are actually two very very similarly stimulated points in the brain. Did you know someone can develop a taboo kink/fetish because they literally find the action so abhorrent irl that the brain can just get confused and mistake it for sexual arousal? You can find something incredibly gross irl and would never consider acting on it but your brain can be like “damn that’s hot” because it’s essentially a giant squishy supercomputer. It’s not immune to glitches!

also it’s time to break some mutuals. You don’t owe anyone online your time, effort, companionship btw. You can just block and move on. In fact I encourage it. 💀 do not waste time or effort on tumblr people.

[gomacave]

Hiii, just wanted to ask if you have some sefikura or any ff7 fics reccomendations, also your art is so beautiful please keep sharing it!

Tjank youuu 💥💥💥💥💥👶

Ur too nice.... Wadda hale.....

Ok fic recs!

Teebeeeich i dud not read that many fic but!

Also most of these have suggestive or adult content so im going 2 put them under the cut!

Silver lining <- very warm post ac fic. Has mind connection/jenova cell connection which im very fond of. (Its like the puppeting thing but its no longer one sided control and it goes both ways?)

Of Things That May Be Only <- never finished this one but its a good slow burn. Lots of pathetic sephiroth which i love. Background(?) valenwind is yummy as fuck and also elifa? Tifena? Elena/tifa stuff too.

Fear of Falling Stars <- recommended to me by a mutual (if u see this thank u again wink) but its one of my favs cuz its got everytjing im obsessed wit and sfkr are deeply unwell ab each other in this one. Sephirotj is very mean at the beginning. Its technically a time travel fic where cloud gets sent back into the past but its not like a fix it fic. Cloud is in his mid to late twenties but stuck in his 16 year old body. A lot of beautiful angst happens w the disconnect between seeing zack and aerith so young and alive but a word of warning for that if you're uncomfortable w it in a ship context. (Nothing explicitly sexual/romantic has happened btwn them up to the point im reading but!) (Also spoilers dont read ahead if u plan to read but -> sephiroth is also sent back in time and is aware cloud is 20 smt)

Reverb <- THIS ONE IS SMUT BE WARNEEEDDD. More weird reunion shit but this time in a sexual context. They trust each other so deeply and the way that recontextualizes the grotesque reunion instinct to being an intimate connection btwn them is so yuummmyy.... Theyre so vulnerable uagh.... Also switch sfkr which is my TRUTH.

Thats it for now also anyone out there with more recs sound off in the replies or rbs or anything cuz im always looking for more too!!!!!

[eldritch-spouse]

Really???? I'm pretty sure I wasn't writing here before lol, mostly because I wasn't writing or creating anything for a long time haha 😭 Sorry again for smashing it in your face really-

And your words are making me blush shit 🥹 Thanks, it helps shy creators like me to think about starting blog hahaha

ACTUALLY, I just realized that I forgot to send any questions I wanted to ask jeez.

Is here any parasitic/symbiotic monsters in your lore? If yes, is it a common thing? How are they approached by other monsters? (I like to think that they're rare cuz nobody actually likes these fuckers, they are stupid™ and bigger ones tend to grab other monsters as their hosts too lmao-) In case host is a human, will they face same discrimination from the other monsters cuz they pass as human?

I have my own thoughts on mind while I was writing since I didn't find any info on you blog about this- maybe it slipped, haha. Sorry in this case!

Who from your OCs will be the most interested to have a buddy like DT? My best bet is on Gallon, since they have two mouths he can get so many rumors and nasty details while practically remaining silent and pouring more and more alcohol lmao AND Chef would hate them cuz Grghaath keeps eating people without waiting for them to be cooked (and Eve has no right to pass so good lol)

Can you give any advice about monster design? I have some thoughts in mind, but I'm not sure how to make monster recognisable lmao :") Do you have any tricks while creating? Steps you're going through?

•••

SORRY FOR BUMPING ANOTHER WALL OF TEXT and thanks for your attention dearly 🫠🫠🫠🫠🌹

I know it's not exactly easy, I'm pretty timid myself and it took several years of me longingly considering starting a Tumblr account before I actually dug my heels in and did it. I really do think posting stuff in your own account would be better, since you get direct attention and can gather an audience that better understands your tastes, right?

1) Parasitic monster species likely exist, I just haven't thought about some very seriously. I definitely will one day, because I'm extremely attracted to monsters like "Carrion" (from a game with the same name). They're probably rarer than most other monsters because their survival relies on finding the correct, compatible host and the switching process is probably extremely perilous to these beings. The closest thing to this we have going on currently is Krulu and Admin's relationship (wherein Admin is a vessel to Krulu) and the ability most demons can hone of possessing another's body (which definitely has its consequences at a long-term level). I think most monsters would have a negative reaction to parasitic entities, mostly due to their own fear of becoming helpless hosts- Which means they'll do anything they can to really blend in, realistically.

A parasitic entity possessing a human host that walks into The Clergy's Eye will immediately have to reveal that they are not, in fact, human- Or else they'll be targeted like one.

2) I think Sybastian is a good bet. Parasites are related to mimics, in the sense that they have a common goal of wanting to pass as something, to go unnoticed by those around them. They're bound to have a little mutuality.

Patches may approach out of curiosity and wanting to study the bond between those two. Nebul is likely under the initial impression that what those two have going on is similar to what he and Purpur are (pet and owner).

I don't think there's any more that might act very differently around them, at least not off the top of my head. 🤔

3) N-Not really?

Here's the thing. When I create characters, I'm not thinking "What would my followers like?"/"Will others enjoy them?". I'm creating characters that I like, that I think would fit in my narrative and my tastes.

My biggest piece of advice is literally just create something you know you'll love. Because then drawing and talking/writing about that character will be like second nature to you, probably.

Visually, I'm not sure what to tell you. Everyone has a style, and yours is very different from mine. Lean into your talents, adopt colors you like, I'm not too sure what to tell you other than just fuck around and see what comes out, you know?

Sometimes I create a character out of necessity, to fill a hole in the narrative. Other times they come spontaneously to me. Sometimes I already know exactly what they'll look like but figuring their mannerisms out takes me weeks. Other times I know what they'll do and how they speak, but visually they could be anything for a while.

Instead of giving up on a character when you're having trouble creating them, I recommend letting a wip sit for a while and coming back to it the next couple of days.

I guess... Find your theme, the stuff you like.

Don't create anything just so it's "recognizable", or at least I wouldn't.

[kenzies-love-stories]

Hi it’s Time for a Upgrade!

Hello everyone, I don’t even know how many of you are still invested in my stories and it’s my own fault! In order to make myself happy and involved with my writing again I am rebranding.  Those who are still very much invested with my writing still Thank you and fear not, my main series ‘The way he looks at you’ and ‘oh come on Bella’ are coming back, they’re just under editing!

Now time for me to reintroduce myself, Hi I’m Kenzie! I originally started this blog back in 2020 when I needed an escape from a really bad situation. I sought comfort in fictional characters and the community was really welcoming even though I was very shy, so I rarely reached out to any mutuals and for that I regret. That being said I myself have grown up and my tastes have changed, so things on my blog are changing with it. Below the cut you will find my new list of Rules and Regulations as well as a brand new list of characters I will be writing for ( I also am keeping some familiar faces too so Fear not!)

Rules:

Please be polite and kind when requesting.

I have to right to reject a request that make me unconformable or doesn’t follow my rules or if I feel I can do the prompt justice

please be patient with me, I work full time as a closer with a bumpy schedule and finding time to write is a nightmare, I take pride in the work I put out, I want it to be amazing experience for you when you read it.

Please only one request at a time per person. you can send another one when yours is posted. I will be going off of the honors system.

constructive criticism is welcomed but don’t be hateful or rude about it. If you don’t like what I post then block my page. 

Feel free to give me details so I have an idea where you want the story to go.

I tend to write romance but I am down for platonic fics too ( just friends type of thing)

please remember I’m a person too

Request would generally be done in the order they show up in my box unless a prompt really stands out to me.

I write for a female or gender-neutral reader as those are what i am the most comfortable writing

Who I write for:

House of Dragons/Game of Thrones:

Aegon Targaryen ii

Aemond Targaryen 

Cregan Stark 

Top gun Maverick:

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd 

Jake ‘Hangman’ Serein 

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw 

Top gun 86′:

Tom ‘iceman’ Kazansky

Pete 'Maverick’ Mitchell

Ron 'Slider' Kerner

Twilight saga:

Felix volturi

Paul Lahote

alec volturi

Harry Potter:

Regulus Black 

Remus Lupin

What I will write:

‘Sad’

Fluff 

angst

suggestive

Au’s:

soulmate

Guardian Angel 

Demon

Body guard

Mafia

Royal

What I will NOT write

Smut (Yes I may read it but I can’t write it to save my life)

Abuse of any kind (I am down to write comfort for this though)

I don’t do well with vivid descriptions of death in my stories  

If you have questions or concerns, just ask me in the ask box! I hope you are having a good day and/or night!

Strikethroughs means that they are temporarily closed.

[leechysmile]

I’m curious what’s ur favorite joey ship? Feel free to go on a rant about Them I wanna hear it

Hi anon! So, I have a few favorites really! Some more problematic than others, fair warning. It's a decently wide range. So I'll list a few and give a short summary!

Do note that I like many more besides these though 💞

Puppyshipping- Seto/Joey:

This is the first Joey ship I fell in love with and the one you'll see a lot of on this blog. Both because I love it and because it undeniably has a lot more fanart/fics than the others. I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers and love the wide range of potential here. Be it something extremely toxic or a slowburn as long as I can see it happening I'm in 👀

Wishshipping- Yugi/Joey:

These two are so sweet together and right now I am particularly vibing with Omegaverse AUs with Alpha Yugi and Omega Joey. I don't really see a lot of Omegaverse with them in general, let alone in this way.

This ship I generally see as on the "wholesome" side, though I use that word loosely. It's mostly sweet, but there is a fair bit of untapped potential regarding just how quickly Joey jumped into "I would literally die for you" territory. While that may sound sweet on the surface to some people, it also suggests an arguably dangerous level of attachment. Because what happens to Joey if for some reason Yugi leaves, dies, etc? Potentially, he could fall apart.

Puffshipping- Ryou/Joey:

I've seen this one get more popular lately and I am SO here for it. I think it'd be really fun to explore a scenario where they're both lost alone in the woods or something. I can also see Ryou taking things he finds fun too far and scaring the shit out of Joey. I like to headcanon Ryou with a fear kink, whether it's being scared or scaring others.

Irateshipping- Marik/Joey:

How can I see Marik calling Joey his doll and NOT ship it? I don't care if it's toxic, I love it. I'm not going to turn down more wholesome forms of it, but I DEFINITELY lean toward the toxic/abusive angle for them. Or, in the case of several roleplays I've done, it starting pretty chill and then entering darker territory because of x reason.

Fadeshipping- Yami Marik/Joey:

Listen, do you know how much potential is here? A lot. I could totally see Yami Marik coming back in some way and deciding Joey is his victim to kill after failing to with the Winged Dragon of Ra. That's a great jumping-off point that can go in many directions.

Brightshipping- Mokuba/Seto/Joey:

Alright, I already lost a mutual over talking about Tabloidshipping, but here's a worse one I like 💀

So, since I like Riskshipping (Mokuba/Joey), Tabloidshipping (Seto/Mokuba), & Puppyshipping... it shouldn't be too terribly surprising that I enjoy combining all three. For this one, I generally see it as most likely that Mokuba would come onto Joey or it's a Season 0 vibe where Seto and Mokuba use Joey as a plaything.

Gangshipping- Hirutani/Joey:

There is a lot of untapped potential here, particularly for the level of toxicity. I honestly could see Hirutani still coming after Joey again. The guy seems like the type who'd sooner drop dead than accept a loss. And he did lose Joey—Twice. Both when Joey left the gang and when he tried forcing Joey back into it. Also, the look he gives Joey in one of the manga panels looks like bedroom eyes to me.

I don't know, I really love angst and this ship is perfect for that. I also love rescue scenarios... which this ship can also lead to. At the very least Yugi and Atem would help Joey once they know there's a problem.

Alright, so I didn't really go into specifics, but that's because I couldn't decide on just one and I can write essays on any of these. Feel free to send asks if you're curious about a specific ship, be it these ones or others!

[flowersofjannah]

assalamualaikum sis, do you have any posts/tips for asking questions to a potential spouse?

Wa 'alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh!

Yes I do!!!! ^.^

Don't bother with meaningless questions, go directly to the important ones. You'll save so much time! I had matrimonial settings multiple times and I got so over the time wasting and nonsense conversations that I had started jumping straight to the important stuff. My husband said that was one of the things that took him off guard lol but he liked it for our talks because it showed I was serious for marriage and allowed us to delve into important things from day 1. By day 1 he was pretty confident about me and by day 2, he knew I was the one according to him (took me longer though lol.)

Important questions I asked included how he is about religion and family, what he wants out of a marriage, what does he want in a wife, etc.

Make a top 3 traits list in your head and give the person who has those 3 traits a complete chance. You WILL get doubts but ignore it and give them a full chance, unless of course there is something that's really bothering you about him. Out of fear of the future and our own insecurities, we tend to make a small matter into a big and negative matter in our heads even though it's not something that matters much. Ignore those whispers and continue focusing on the bigger and more important things. Don't focus on, oh he's messy or he doesn't know how to clean a toilet. Trust me, these are so small. He'll learn if he cares for you. I am the messy one in our relationship but since our marriage, I'm a lot better because I know it would bother my husband seeing our place all messy lol, so in sha Allah your spouse will work on himself for you too as you shall do for him also.

Notice how he is with family, how he talks about them. A previous man I had talked to always avoided talking about parents and family which was a big red flag to me. You would want to talk about the people you care about but this guy didn't. So much so, he even said his family resides in Saudi and he in the USA but he makes his whole family come to USA to meet him rather than him, a single person going to Saudi, because "it's easier that way." Umm lol it's easier for a single person to go than calling over a whole family to you yearly. BIG RED FLAG. In contrast, my husband would talk about his sisters more than himself sometimes which was a big green flag for me - if he admires his sisters so much, he'll treat me well in sha Allah and isn't a mysogynist, he would take care of fulfilling my rights. My husband along with talking about his family often also assured me that he wouldn't allow them to interfere in our marriage even though he loves, respects, and admires them greatly...another important topic to bring up!!!

Talk about finances and household. How would we handle our money post marriage? Same bank account, different accounts? Def ask for the reason for his answer. Allowance for the wife? How open is to meet you in the middle if you had differing views?

How does he expect you to be with his family? Ask him how he wishes to be with your family.

Things like "i like to travel, watch documentaries, cook, bake, etc" are slightly important but not too important. Again, if he cares, he'll suck it up and try to do things you like for you even if he may not enjoy it. I just rode on a rollercoaster for my husbands sake yesterday even though I was super scared, boy my body is still regretting it. And on the other end, my husband played with some cats and put birds on his shoulders because I love animals and he was super scared lol. That is marriage, doing things you don't necessarily like for the other persons happiness. It's give and take!

The biggest things I would say are how he is in religion and family, how is his character. And does he respect you? There cannot be a happy marriage without mutual respect!! A marriage without respect is worse than a marriage without love. How do we know if he respects you - Does he listen when you talk? Does he take into consideration your differing views? Does he talk to you kindly? Does he look out for your comfort? Does he put in effort to make time for you?

I do advice doing premarital counseling if you guys seem to be getting along well. I STRONGLY recommend it.

And of course, super important - keep it halal and do your istikhara and duas every step of the way sis!

I hope I helped in sha Allah! If I think of more things, I'll be sure to update this post in sha Allah ^.^

All the best sister ❤️

[lonely-soul-02]

Hello, I like reading your thoughts! In your most recent ask you made an interesting point about Debbie. I have to say I've been wondering to myself if Debbie and Noel would get on because I think Noel used to be quite possessive of Liam and hated it when someone tried to challenge his role in Liam's life. And now Liam has someone who is not only his girlfriend but also his co-manager. If the brothers would make up and also reunite Oasis now, I wouldn't be surprised if Noel and Debbie would fight over Liam. Back in the day I think Noel would have really hated it if one of Liam's girlfriends/wives would have tried to meddle with Oasis. But then again they've all mellowed by now, so maybe it would work out better or maybe Debbie would know not to get in between Liam and Noel. Anyway, I just hope the brothers find their way back to each other very soon. It's so heartbreaking that they're apart for so long

Hi! I know I'm mostly rambling into the void, but this place provides an outlet for me so...thanks for reading!

Yeah, good question about how Debbie would fit in with a reconciled Liam and Noel. I guess, whilst Noel could be possessive of Liam in Oasis days (and Liam could be possessive of Noel) I don’t think their relationship dynamic would be quite the same today. I'm guessing it'd take them a while before they felt comfortable 'hanging out' again.

Also, now that they’re both that much older and with more life experience under their belts - kids, blended families, divorces, health issues - I suspect Noel would be grateful for Debbie being in Liam’s life to keep him on the right track. It’d be a demanding job and I can’t see Noel wanting to exert that much energy these days (Debbie once affectionately compared Liam to a toddler who needs routine and to be kept constantly occupied!).

I know there are some Liam stans out there who don’t like Debbie much and think she’s too controlling but ‘big personality’ rock stars like Liam sometimes need strong, assertive women in their lives for their own well being, otherwise they go off the rails. See: John and Yoko.

Would Noel get along with Debbie?  No idea. It’d depend on if they have anything in common besides Liam.  If anything, Debbie may be wary of Noel. Looking at it from her perspective, she might fear that Noel would hurt Liam and become very protective of him, as we know she can be, and that might be an obstacle. This is one of the reasons I think Debbie and the rest of that camp aren’t actively encouraging reconciliation. It's why I feel Noel and Liam need help from a mutual friend who loves them both.

As for Debbie getting involved in Oasis matters, I can’t see that happening at all and unless she had a successful track record managing a range of other artists, any involvement on her part would surely be a bad business move. I imagine she'd stick to managing Liam and stay away from Oasis.  If there is an Oasis reunion, they'd likely draw up fairly strict terms and conditions to ensure no conflicts of interest and avoid any expensive falling out between the brothers, similar to how Guns N’ Roses have very successfully managed their reunion - 7 years now and still going. Prior to that, Axl and Slash didn't speak for 20 years! There is hope for Liam and Noel!

[gryfflepuffinthetardis]

Second Prologue: January First, 2005

Warning: TenRose Feels Gifs, If you love TenRose as much as I do, the gifs may break your heart, Spoilers for The End of Time, TenLillie Feels or whatever their ship name would be.

January first, 2005, two months and four days before Lillie and Rose Tyler meet the Ninth Doctor

Au Revoir — French — Goodbye until we meet again.

"My soul feels reborn each time I see you; falling in love with you again and again."

Lillie Tyler, Rose Tyler, and Jackie Tyler walked through the streets of the Powell Estate in the freezing cold.

"I'm late now. I've missed it. It's midnight. Mickey's going to be calling me everything. This is your fault." Rose blamed.

"No, it's not. It's Jimbo. He said he was going to give us a lift, then he said his axle broke. I can't help it." Jackie denied.

"Get rid of him, Mum. He's useless." Lillie groaned.

"Listen to you two, with a mechanic and no boyfriend." Lillie looked at her mother with a look just as sarcastic as her words would be, like, Thank you for that. 

Lillie’s ex had recently ended their relationship when an internship arose and the end of relationship was mutual but it didn’t make Lillie feel any better despite the smile she had kept on her face during their talks and when she was around everyone else. She had kept the relationship secret from everyone in her life, well, almost everyone, there was that very handsome, charming dark-haired man in the military coat and the American accent.

She thought he was just a stranger, but in his point of view, he knew her very well. She had seen a twinkle in his blue eyes, but he was so kind and understanding when he sat down next to her on the bench and they had a lovely chat about the social expectations of the early 2000s and the rights people should have to be themselves. He was funny, kind, encouraging, and supportive, even though to her, he was a total stranger. It was almost like he was from another era, where the rules were different and people were less judgemental and people could be who they wanted to be without fear.

"Be fair, though. My time of life I'm not going to do much better." Jackie added.

"Don't be like that. You never know. There could be someone out there." Rose encouraged her mother.

"Maybe, one day.” Jackie mused.

"Mum, you're only thirty-seven." Lillie said.

Rose turned to her curly-haired brunette sister, "And they'll be someone out there for you."

"Oh yeah, boys are lining up to date the crazy tomboy with weird dreams, violent and rebellious tendencies, and a criminal record,." Lillie scoffed, sarcastically.

"Closed criminal record." Jackie reminded her as when Lillie did the things she did, ultimately for the greater good of others but got her in trouble, she seemed to have an anomonous guardian angel who kept her record closed and from getting her into any major trouble. They had always brushed it off as privileges due to her genius.

"Hey." Rose said with the gentle sternness of an encouraging older sister, "One day, you'll meet your perfect guy."

"What did you always say?" Rose asked and recalled her sister's list, "A mischivious renegade who was moral, stubborn yet kind. Loyal, unpredictable, empathetic, kind, understanding, witty, funny, and cheeky. Oh, yeah, with great hair."

Lillie crossed her arms and blushed, looking down.

Lillie smiled, softly but she doubted it. She wasn't the kind of girl guys dated. Just the kind they would get intimidated by. She had always been boyish in personality and clothing. She wasn't exactly the kind of girl guys were lining up to date; she was more the kind who you almost forgot was a girl at all.

If you were to ask her what her perfect guy was, she would say someone who was rebellious yet moral. Someone who was stubborn in his beliefs of compassion and free will, someone who was unpredictable yet loyal, someone who was mischievous yet empathetic and understanding. She wanted someone who was brutal yet kind, someone who was funny in a witty, cheeky kind of way. Someone who was broken in a way that it made him so kind that he fought to keep others from feeling pain like the kind he does. Most importantly, someone who could be both her best friend and look at her with such love, like he had seen and loved the universe with all its stars, planets, and beauty and like he had seen and loved her, and ultimately, the universe couldn’t compare to her as she had more beautiful galaxies in her than the whole of the universe. Appearance-wise? Ideally, someone with great hair and a brilliant smile.

Sometimes when she thought this, she felt as if she were describing someone she had once met yet at the same time she didn’t know yet, not knowing that that very somebody was watching her from the shadows, looking at her with absolute certainty that nothing in the universe compared to her angelic and classic beauty.

Happy New Year." Jackie told her daughters.

"Happy New Year!" They said in unison, and they all embraced.

"Don't stay out all night." Rose told their mother.

"Try and stop me." Jackie said, "Look after your sister!"

"I'm not a child!" Lillie exclaimed, indignantly as Rose gave her mother a look like, I always do.

"And get her inside. You know how quickly she gets sick from the cold!"

Jackie walked in a different direction than her two daughters, as her youngest blushed, unaware of a man who would be very important to them in just two months and four days was watching from the shadows, with a different face than the one they'll meet.

He grunted in pain, bringing their attention to him.

"You all right, mate?" Lillie asked, kindly, laying her warm blue eyes upon him. Something about him was... almost familiar...

Her memory briefly flashed back to that bizarre man she had met five years ago.

"Yeah." He lied. He was dying but he had to say goodbye. To these girls. His girls. His best girls.

"Too much to drink?" Rose asked.

"Something like that." He nodded.

"Maybe it's time you went home." Lillie suggested with a head tilt. "Don't think your loved ones would appreciate you out in this cold."

"Yeah." He nodded, knowing that if she remembered, she'd smack him and shout at him to get into his Tardis. "You too. Listen to your mother, you don't want to get sick. You're starting to look a bit nippy." He gestured to her burning cheeks and red nose from the cold.

"Anyway, Happy New Year." Lillie smiled.

"And you two as well." The sisters went to walk back home when he spoke again, "What year is this?"

"Blimey, how much have you had?" Lillie laughed as she brushed her hair out of her face, her laugh was still the most beautiful sound he ever heard, even more than the sound of the Tardis.

“Well,” He said, tilting his head.

"Two-thousand-and-five. January the first." She said.

"Two-thousand-and-five." His words carried a kind of weight that Lillie picked up but couldn't tell why. He couldn't tell her how much he loved her because he was a stranger to her. That was the most painful thing, even more painful than the radiation poisoning and killing his body. His words would mean nothing to the girl that meant everything to him. So instead he said his last goodbye. "Tell you what. I bet you're going to have a really great year. The both of you." He nodded at Rose.

"Yeah?" Lillie smiled that beautiful smile of hers, the sisters saying their first hello and he returned a smile as he just barely kept himself together from the radiation poisoning his body and heartbreak wracking through his double-hearted body. "Well, Au-Revoir."

The man smiled with both his hearts breaking as the two girls, the two very important girls to him ran off back to their home, two months before they would officially meet him back when he had big ears and wore a leather jacket.

"Goodbye, Rose Tyler. Goodbye, Lillie Tyler. Goodbye, Supernova." He said, his hearts hurting more at saying the name of who he would always consider his true love than the radiation that was killing him painfully.

It was his last day and the first of the Rose and Lillie/Nova’s... forever.

*I do not own these gifs. I just thought they were really beautiful yet heartbreaking, just describing the Tenth Doctor and his human love perfectly. Just imagine Rose in the gifs is Katherine Langford.*

[spacecasewriter13]

When the Lights Go On Again by @spacecasewriter13

Fic Summary: It is May of 1946, over a year after his fall from the Hydra train and losing his left arm, and James "Bucky" Barnes is struggling to adjust. Working as an analyst at the New York City SSR branch, Bucky tries to put the war and all of its sorted memories behind him. However, try as he might he is plagued by thoughts of Magdalene "Maggie" Ramirez, a Women's Army Corps (WAC) Corporal he met in London and hasn't spoken to since before his fall in January of 1945. Little does he know that Maggie, in her struggle to put the war behind her, has moved to the city and looking for a job with the New York Bell Telephone Company as a switchboard operator. Now, by sheer dumb luck, they are reunited as they both fight come to terms with what they were to one another during the war, and work to figure out how to move forward in a world that was unprepared to deal with the consequences of war in the unsteady peace.

Chapter 26: As Time Goes By

Chapter summary: Bucky and Maggie realize they have a mutual friend. Then they realize what they want out of the future and how that might look in the current circumstances. Hopes are high and expectations low; they carve out a moment just to exist and enjoy one another’s company.

Excerpt:

The music was loud, and the club crowded, but she and the other girls were quiet as they sat at their usual table, glasses cupped in their hands, staring down into nothing. They didn’t feel much like talking.

‘Or perhaps it's just me.’ Maggie couldn’t help but think. She’d been out a week and a half, and now in light of all that had happened, there was an uneasy awkwardness. A silence so loud that none of them knew how to fill it. So they were here, sitting and drinking without so much as looking at one another.

Some of it was exhaustion, and some of it was grief, fear, and anxiety. This wasn’t something they could write home about, not without letting the side down, not without potentially leaking classified information, not without facing the reality that this wasn’t all fun and games anymore and hadn’t been for a long, long time. They’d all known that, but now the truth was undeniable.

‘To hell with all this. If I can’t sleep and I can’t forget, at the very least, I can get a little drunk to help me on my way. I’ll be able to sleep it off before my shift.’

Throwing back the rest of her drink, Maggie rose and glanced around at the faces looking up at her from the table. “Who wants another round? I’m buying.”

A few of them protested weakly, but all four of them eventually relented and gave her their drink orders. So leaving them with a cheery smile, she wove through the crowd to the bar and let her mind wander.

She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to go back to the barracks, slip into her bunk and read, but it wouldn’t really be her barracks or her bunk, and her books had all been destroyed when—.

No. She wouldn’t be able to relax there. But in the quiet, she’d be able to write to Tony, and Daniel, and Pai and Nelly and Ing, of course. It had been a few weeks since her last letter, and they would start to get worried if she didn’t at least send a short note asking about the family.

‘No doubt like James. I haven’t been to the cafe in almost a month, and he—.’

It was a stupid and girlish thought.

There was a war on, and with Operation Overlord and then the V2 bombings, no one anywhere in the European theater was going to have any opportunity to slip away for a quiet cup of coffee and a nice chat over breakfast. Wherever he was, she hoped he wasn’t worrying about her. He had his sister and mother to worry about getting home and keeping himself out of harm’s way. There was no need for him to distract himself worrying about her. She was just some dam—

“Corporal Ramirez?”

Maggie turned with such force she had to stifle a wince. “Sergeant Barnes?” She couldn’t believe it. He was here. Somehow she’d managed to conjure him here through sheer power of will.

To Continue Reading Please Visit Ao3

[cheekymoonfilms]

A series of perfectly normal love letters to the 2015 Beck song "Dreams"

By Alastair Craig Originally published on Cheeky Moon

25 November, 2015

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I’m sorry to bother you. You’re a busy song in heavy rotation, and I’m just a solitary listener with no idea how to begin. This is the first time I have written directly to a piece of music, and for obvious reasons I am not expecting a reply.

You probably don’t remember me on account of being a non-sentient recording. We met last week at Pie Face in Queen Street Mall: me sitting at the wobbly corridor table; you entering the room via cafe speaker.

I still can feel my posture straightening into meerkat-level alertness at the immediacy of your opening chords. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so instantly on the same wavelength as a piece of music; so sure of what a song was going for and capable of.

I can only describe it as an insatiable longing. As if the one-second-per-second rate at which your notes are delivered somehow isn’t enough. This energy has nowhere to go but the following two words: thank you.

I am addressing this letter to Capitol Records in Los Angeles. If it accidentally forwarded to your creator, the singer-songwriter Beck Hanson, I apologise for any confusion.

Yours sincerely, Alastair

***

3 January, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

Sorry to bother you again. It’s 2am and you’re still running circles around my mind. For my own sanity I need to unpack why.

It’s not just your impressive length (although at 5+ minutes, you certainly give a lot of mileage) but what you do with it: those tender little flourishes to make every second feel worthwhile. The “oh”s between the lines; the “d-d-d-” before “dreams”. You fit pleasure into spaces other songs cannot.

It’s that glorious multi-layered “here we are” harmony at 3:42 — your finest moment — which I’m secretly convinced you added for me and me alone.

It’s the pauses, too; the comfortable silences we share. I really feel I can simply be myself around you, dancing like a dork in my living room without fear of judgement.

What we have here: it feels mutual. I fully accept I may be projecting. It’s late. I should get to bed.

Sweet dreams, sweet Dreams. Alastair

***

5 February, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I feel we can be honest with each other by now. Can we please address the elephant in the room?

We need to talk about that little guitar hook at 4:00. It’s a little… showoffy. It brings me back to music lessons as a teenager. This is exactly the kind of thing kids play when they’ve learned the pentatonic scale and want to sound wicked-rad with the distortion on (and oh god, have I been there). It’s not necessary. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.

I worry this is the music-fan version of some dipshit telling a woman she doesn’t need makeup. And look, if you’re having fun, of course you’re entitled to that. I just have to ask: are you truly doing this for yourself?

You don’t need to answer.

Your friend, Alastair

***

6 February, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I turned you off when my wife entered the room, and I’m worried about what that means.

If I go radio silent for a while, please know it’s not you. I have a few things to process.

Talk soon, Alastair

***

11 July, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

What a special night that was. Like something, well, out of a dream. I was just thinking it had been a while, and there you were, shimmering in the window of Jet Black Cat Records; an aqua-blue vinyl single I could at last physically hold and cherish.

To hear your stripped-back acapella and instrumental mixes on the b-side… I know you don’t just let everyone hear you like that (I can’t find either track on Spotify). It is a privilege to be worthy of that trust.

That sublime “here we are” was even more beautiful than I imagined underneath it all. And — if you can forgive me for ever suggesting otherwise — I can see the guitar bit at 4:00 part of who you are. Love is about hearing the whole song and accepting the complete package.

I hear you. And I love you.

Your most ardent admirer, Alastair

***

15 December, 2016

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I’m sorry for those Facebook messages last night. Actually, I’m not sure who I could have possibly sent them to. I may owe someone else an apology.

Truly, honestly, I don’t mind that you share a melody with MGMT’s Electric Feel. You never claimed to be original. Maybe you’re a deliberate homage. And what I said about your lyrics; that was out of line. They’re upbeat and unburdened by subtext; exactly what they need to be.

I think we need to take a break. I’m playing you too often. I thought I’d made peace with your showoffy guitar bit at 4:00, but honestly? It’s starting to grate. Again, it’s not you, it’s me.

I’ll be in touch later. Promise. Alastair

***

17 January, 2017

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

Just checking in to say I’m thinking of you. It’s a quiet day here. What are you up to?

:-) Alastair

***

24 August, 2017

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

The track listing for Beck’s Colors album just dropped. I cannot wait to hear what the track “Dreams (Colors Mix)” entails. The idea that you still have more to offer excites me. I feel we could go on like this our entire lives.

Yours in anticipation, Alastair

***

1 October, 2017

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

I’m not angry, just a little confused and disappointed — mainly at myself.

I heard you on Beck’s Colors album. It’s clear now we have different expectations for this. For us.

I don’t mind that you removed the swear word. It’s great, in fact. A sign that you might be open to the idea of bringing children into this.

But why did “d-d-d-dreams” get reduced to “d-d-dreams”? Why are there fewer “oh”s? On some level I get it. If Beck wants to perform you live, he needs to breathe at some point. But you’ve compromised yourself for him. Stepped down from your angelic cloud. Given yourself up to the realities of human limitations and ageing.

And that beautiful “here we are”; your heart and soul, the second I adored more than all others: gone. Replaced outright with that obnoxious, childish guitar wail. “Dreams” by Beck, we’ve talked about this. You knew this would upset me.

Maybe our priorities were never in sync. It was unfair of me to put you on this pedestal; to mistake a fun summer jam for a lifelong relationship. I committed too hard, too fast, and tried to make you into something you’re not.

You owe me nothing. I just wish we’d had the chance to talk about it beforehand.

I’m sorry. Alastair

***

3 February, 2018

Dear “Dreams” by Beck,

It was nice to hear you at Toowong Shopping Centre the other day. I’m sorry it was only your abridged radio edit, but I enjoyed our short catch up all the same. Even that playful guitar wail brought a smile to my face, like an old lover’s snore.

That turbulent time we had: it was beautiful, wild and doomed. But perhaps we could still share something moving forward. Something slower; more comfortable; able to coexist with other loves. I’m ready if you are.

Can we be friends again?

Thank you for your time, Alastair

***

6 February, 2019

Dear “Super Cool” by Beck feat. Robyn & The Lonely Island from The Lego Movie 2 soundtrack,