#and takes them to gay bars
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It is so freaking hard to write romantic smut fic about two canonically stunted, dorky, awkward Christians. Istg, my instinct keeps being to go all serious and realistic but That Is Not Them. 🤦🏻 Maybe I should just go back to writing silly domestic fluff of them like I did with (Cool) Cousins (Only) Night.
#that or I could do the AU of my dreams where Keefe’s lesbian sister played by Fortune Feimster gets them the fuck out of the megachurch#and takes them to gay bars#fic writing#fic writer problems#the righteous gemstones#keefe chambers#kelvin gemstone#kelvin x keefe#gembers#maybe my deconstruction is getting in my way
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Me: *tries to see what the Queen fans on TikTok have to say*
*Jim hate*
*”facts” that may or not be actually true*
*”Freddie Mercury was bisexual-“*
*Using Barbara Valentin as evidence*
*thinking things that happened in the movie actually happened irl*
*general misinformation about everyone and everything*
Me: aaaaand back to Tumblr I go
(open tags at your own risk, there’s a whole essay in there)
#Why are Tumblr Queen fans the only sane ones like what happened#Coincidentally this is also how reading a lot of articles about them and their history tend to go#When did we stop looking at the primary sources like how did some of these disconnects grow so large#Freddie was just gay. YES he was out. YES he stated it publicly (he was still coy sometimes I will give you that)#No he didn’t know he had AIDS before Live Aid. Yes Jim was his major long term partner.#No the little people with trays of coke on their heads story isn’t true. No Freddie most likely didn’t take Princess Diana to a gay bar#No Roger didn’t accidentally give a fan a sex tape (there is a nugget of evidence that a tape was leaked but if so it didn’t happen like th#He locked himself in a TAPE CLOSET not a cupboard (this one doesn’t annoy me as much as the rest)#No Freddie was not ✨involved✨ with Barbara Valentin#No Love of My Life is not about Mary in the way people think it is#RESEARCH PLEASE I AM BEGGING#IT’S NOT EVEN THAT HARD TO FIND SOME OF THAT STUFF#ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE A JOURNALIST LIKE LOOK AT THE PRIMARY SOURCES INSTEAD OF CONFIRMATION BIASING BY LOOKING AT ARTICLES#FROM OTHER JOURNALISTS WHO ALSO DID WHAT YOU’RE DOING#REEEAAADDDD#It’s not even annoying because it’s about a topic I like it’s just literally the unimaginable gap between truth and reality#that is SO EASY TO BRIDGE AND YET. LIKE HOW IS IT THIS BIG OF A PROBLEM WHAT HAPPENED#I have written a novel in these tags so I’ll stop yapping now but GOD it grinds my gears#queen#queen band#roger taylor#roger meddows taylor#brian may#sir brian may#freddie mercury#john deacon#Tiktok#queen fans
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you must fix your heart— you must build an altar where it floods
#artists on tumblr#art#oc#digital art#procreate#my art#tian#HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZHU’S MAN!!!! I LOVE YOU ZHU’S MAN#GUY WHO INSTANTLY LOSES 2KG IF ZHU SKIPS BREAKFAST#GUY WHO TAKES DAMAGE ANY TIME SOMEONE CALLS HIM DADDY BUT IT’S OK BC HE HAS THREE HEALTH BARS AND THEY SPAN THE WIDTH OF THE SCREEN#GUY WHOSE STATS ARE SOOO BROKEN BUT ALL HE WANTS TO DO WITH THEM IS MAKE CHAIRS#GUY WHO DOESN’T EVEN LIKE HIS TATTOO EVEN THO LAYING THE STENCIL ALONE MUST HAVE TAKEN 40 YEARS#GUY WHO WON’T KILL YOU BC IT GOES AGAINST BUDDHIST PRINCIPLES BUT HE WILL!!! MAIM YOU#GUY WHO POSTS UP OUTSIDE ZHU’S OFFICE AND CHAINSMOKES UNTIL YOU RELEASE HIS MEAN GAY WIFE#GUY WHO JUST WANTS TO TAKE A NAP!!!!!!!!#^ high-quality deluxe sentences reserved for my tumblr only#hi#coughing wheezing painting this in the exact same place i painted last year’s bday draw:#on my bed at my parents’ house in 🦐 pose#sponsored by ricola bc my bronchitis like zhu’s man can be delayed but not defied#i finished at 3:53 this morning and then i agonized over it for an hour and 2 minutes and then posted to bsky#where he was immediately COMPRESSED#inconsolable#you can’t treat hot ppl like that#anyway last one for the year……. i fly home tomorrow and if i make it i will finally……. post my 2024 art summary#thank u for looking at my art this year!!!!! good stuff next year i think!!!!!#mwah luv u bye
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I'm not allowed to be on social media for more than two seconds today but I just wanted to say that Laios will absolutely have his own reaction to all this as someone who would die for Falin but has also imprinted on Marcille as his Emotional Support Comphet White Girl Not-Girlfriend along the way
#a little creature#sometimes i look at the way i want marcille to be the closest thing hes ever had to a girlfriend but in a 100% platonic way and im like#is this what they mean by queerplatonic or have i just never had a dude best friend who wasnt like. a super fruity gay twink#anyway its gonna be as hard on him as it is for us bc he loves them both so much#the most important women in his life bar none#marcille probably slapped him when she got back tho. like she just saw his face and all the misdirected anger at him 'taking falin' just#rose up and burst again#its ok tho. you know she immediately broke down crying in his arms again blubbering incoherently bc she felt bad but also shes still mad#and she just doesnt know what to do with herself#the hardest part about this fic is that like. there are SO many juicy things going on offscreen#but. i have to breathe deep and keep calm and let them happen out of falin's POV#the ryoko kui method. what happens in the story happens and what happens outside can be explored in extras if need be#edit: also just figured out why ive been chafing a *little* bit against ppl assuming that it's the fear of falin dying that motivated#marcille's denial of her feelings so far#bc it's technically true but something just didn't sit right and i didn't wanna say anything until i figured it out#in little creature she has in part already realized that falin's passing is going to hurt no matter what she does right now#bc she's already passed the threshold of preemptive grief and sealed her own fate by how much she cares about falin#so it's not really... about that as much as it would have been during the canon story#it's just that. to acknowledge that she has romantic feelings for falin means recontextualizing their relationship in a way where#she has been the one hopelessly chasing while falin didn't realize/ignored her for the most part#and she couldnt allow that to be true both bc she couldnt bear to make falin the 'villain' in her love story#and bc she subconsciously knew the scope of pain would be too much for her to handle#so now my problem is. how do i make that clear in the fic from falin's POV without getting too heavy handed about it
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i think wolfwood would react to wuthering heights by kate bush in the same way that middle-aged catholic women do
#and by that i mean he will get up and start dancing (with or without terribly singing) instinctively#this might just be my family but literally nothing brings them together like wuthering heights and come on eileen by dexy's midnight runner#anyway he has the choreography memorised and he doesn't even remember learning it#vash is the same but that is because he is gay#whilst very tipsy at a bar they decide to sing it on karaoke and it is just so bad#meryl takes a video absolutely pissing herself with laughter and vash thinks it's hilarious too. wolfwood swears he'll never drink again#trigun#nicholas d. wolfwood#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun maximum
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VI WITH GOGGLES VI WITH GOGGLES VI WITH GOGGLES VI WITH GOGGLES VI WITH GOGGLES VI WITH GOGGLES VI WITH GOGGLES VI WITH GOGGLES VI WITH GOGLES
#ferociously gnawing on the bars of my enclosure#can't wait for caitlyn to tenderly take them off vi's head before she pulls her in for the nastiest gay sex ive ever seem#bc if cait doesn't do it i will#vi#arcane
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ur post about queerbaiting and the dismissal of people in fandom to critical analysis is so incredibly true thank you. i feel like marcille's writing in the anime has been super misogynistic a lot of the time and every time i bring this up all anyone wants to say is "well maybe this isn't for you! and you shouldn't watch the show!" like. i don't think this is about taste lmao, i am analyzing the text in front of me and coming to conclusions about the craft of it.
[This is in reference to this post]
YES!!! THANK YOU!!!!!
It is so so frustrating!!!!
It's like being at a restaurant and being served a bunch of delicious appetizers, but then one of the bread appetizers is literally just a plate of crumbs; and then when you're like, "Hey, uhh, why are we being served literal crumbs?", a bunch of the other folks eating at the restaurant are like,
"WELL HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DON'T EAT HERE THEN??!? YOU MUST NOT BE THAT HUNGRY, SO JUST FIND ANOTHER RESTAURANT AND DON'T EAT WITH US!!"
And maybe they say it politely, but "Aw, sorry, maybe this restaurant just isn't for you 💖" is just trading out an aggressive dismissive tone for a patronizing dismissive tone. It's the same message.
And it's like! I was honestly happy to move on from the crumbs once my complaint was acknowledged because the meal overall is still delicious, but then all these folks got SUPER WEIRD AND DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT, so now I find myself double-checking all the other dishes -- and, actually, you know what those eggs DO look a Iittle misogynistic undercooked!!!!
#original#queerbaiting#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#falin x marcille#marcille x falin#marcille donato#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi marcille#listen i like marcille but u r right she is basically there to be a wet blanket a LOT of the time and that is a sexist trope#i think the bar is super super low for female characters in adventure anime and the lack of constant ogling maybe makes the female#characters feel better written than they are. i mean falin basically has no personality. she's got an innocent heart but that's nothing.#and i think these conversations are worth having bc no piece of media is perfect and this is how we learn to do better#also like. I've seen media criticisms that make me go 'oh you straight up should reserve commentary bc you#haven't watched the show and you're wrong' or 'i see what you're saying but you are simply incorrect' but like#i don't think I'd tell someone to just NOT watch Hazbin Hotel bc they have a bad take - and certainly not bc they have accurately#pinpointed a real flaw about the show (of which there are more than a few but frankly not what became the biggest subject of Disc Horse)#Angel is actually an amazing character & i think people mistook a criticism on the way abuse is glamourized as actually glamourizing abuse#like his song about abuse is called Poison and he's trapped in an abusive performance contract - bringing to mind Britney Spears#i think it is a wildly triggering and painful scene but i think a lot of people took the pain it gave them to mean it was bad art#but tbh they are still allowed to eat at the table if they so choose!!!#sorry i got sidetracked - as an abuse survivor Angel just matters a lot to me. i have a couple serious criticisms of vivziepop's work but#Angel is very much not one of them#also in regards to the actual subject of this post i think the most audacity of the responses i got was the one that said#that by complaining about queerbaiting I was 'de-incentivizing writers to write any interaction b/t women that could look even a little gay#and I'm just like. good. I hope they stop writing entirely. if the takeaway from 'please don't sell me bread and then serve me crumbs' is#'WELL NOW I JUST WON'T BAKE ANY BREAD PRODUCT' then that person is a bad chef. they should find a different job.#or at least do a whole lot of work on themselves. but either way i wouldn't be too broken up to know i won't be getting any food from them.#'just leave then' is so obviously a gut reaction defense mechanism & it implies media criticism should only be for things you don't like
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i get so frustrated with ppl who wont just fucking help themselvessss. obviously theres a spectrum of pain and subsequent ability when it comes to mental illness but ive known so many people specifically gay people who let themselves live in squalor all while going to therapy taking medication and claiming to take care of themselves. thats the thing self care is NOT doing nothing, self care is actually doing the dishes sorry. its taking the trash out. calling the doctor and making an appointment. being an ADULT. i live with two people in their mid to late 20s who only do a chore once every few weeks and if i ever deign to bring it up i get either aggressive or apologetic responses about depression and struggle. as if im not constantly struggling. i force myself to do things bc they make me feel better… me and you are not all that different. ignoring your human life maintenance or outsourcing it to other ppl is the biggest form of self harm thats become normalized in certain communities
#btw if i go to your house n its a fucking mess it’s disrespectful sorry. to me#like again it’s so normalized in gay spaces from my experience. like oh don’t worry abt cleaning the bathroom its just friends from the bar#coming over.#like um no im sorry im not a fucking animallllll#sorry im angry abt chores today n that post set me off.#if everyone in my house did their fair share itd be incredible#its mostly my sister’s boyfriend but atp i cant tell if theyre really struggling or just stupid. its been 3 years living w them.#he straight up just throws his fast food trash on the floor all around him in his office doesnt give a fuck#i cant ask him to do anythinggggg he treats it like a personal attack#like if youre actually this incapable of taking care of yourself you need to go to the psych ward .#its the constant weed smoking like theres not one second of the day they arent high#and they dont shower enough either whole house stinks sometimes. id kill myself but good for them i guess
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truly, and I don't mean this to sound like a bit, go to the gay bar. with some friends if you can. life won't feel as futile afterwards.
#every time i feel like the world is ending the ruggers happen to book the gay dive bar#and we spend like four hours there just taking over and mingling amongst ourselves and the locals#and every time my crisis no longer feels like it's going to be what does me in#and i come home exhausted and vulnerable and vaguely wounded feeling#but hopeful and honest and hesitantly relieved about tomorrow#and knowing above all there is a tomorrow in some shape or form. and that is enough.#its made better by a friend/club prez who supports my sobriety by buying me fake beer and a gay dive that lets me byob when we book#like i knownit sounds like a flippant bit but this applies to any queer focused space where you get to be amongst other queer folks#who you normally would not get to be with#go find them and sit with them even if its in silence as you just people watch but be with family and heal
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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dee making a my brothers gay and that’s okay edit when
#i Know for a fact i post this every time i watch s1#actually that’s the catalyst for dennis takes a mental health day#dee comes barging into the bar all smug she’s finally famous because she posted . dennis#because she posted my brother dennis is gay#goes full screen for the edit and cuts back to them cowering behind the pool table as dennis is about to scream/cry/throw up . title shows
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I'll make the character as introspective and poetic as I want but I will respect that in canon they probably don't know what a whisk is
#this is about Angel Devil yea#im writing#csm angel#he's living in a converted office space and only knows about food from getting it from a cafeteria and/or eating dead bodies#Fiends are barred from the joys of cooking and frankly I find it unacceptable#get my boy a cookbook we're making shrimp scampi#my fics#this sick fic is taking eons I just keep on going off on tangents and not knowing where to go with it#executive dysfunction has hands#i'm wrestling with her like Jacob wrestling with God (or an angel I never knew for sure)#(I think it varies by doctrine/denomination)#side note have you seen the artistic renditions of that shit? gay as hell#sometimes the artists make the angel a woman but so many of them are so intimate#sometimes wrestling with a representative of Heaven is a metaphor for hate sex or some equivalent#or for being bonded under shared control of your diety. Jacob is fighting God and the angel is forced to fight in God's stead.#wow that's. very off-topic. i should make a separate post maybe#biblical allusions#meposting#my csm thoughts
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…
#i just hooked up with my ex lmao#on the hood of my car in the parking lot of the gay bar…#an ex all of my friends fucking hate#bc they kinda treated me like shit#but they’re also so hot i uh……..#came so many times from them barely touching me#and they ground their tdick against me and came with me it was disgustingly hot#fuck#k imma delete this later but shit#tdick#is everything to me#they r so hot i missed kissing them#my stupid heart can’t take another breakup tho
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oh my god who fucking care about bi lesbian discourse
#this is such a stupid thing to be fighting over like. as a bisexual i personally find it dumb & dont see what it accomplished by diluting#both terms but LITERALLY that does not matter. if someone else finds meaning in it & thats how it makes sense for them to identify good for#them!! this shit truly does not matter even if you think some term or identity sounds dumb or you dont get jt literally how is that any of#your business. tired of online gay discourse i need more gay irls again my friend group has#gotten so straight these past few years#like me & the irl gays werent ever arguing about stupid shit llike this we were going to bars & taking turns kissing each other#texticles#*what it accomplishes besides diluting both terms is what i meant. idk wtf i wrote there instead
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I MADE A NEW FRIEND TODAY AND THEY WERE SO NICE AND WE ARE GONNA GO TO THE LESBIAN BAR TOGETHER!!!!!!
#original#diary#I truly did a friend-making speed run in the most Jack way imaginable#I'm having a really excellent 24 hours#especially in regards to gay people being awesome#multiple people recognize me last night when I arrived at the bar. that hasn't happened in a long time outside of like physical therapy#it was really cool and I think the hot bartender who saw me on stage thought I did a good job!#they acted very friendly when I asked them to unlock the door to the elevator so I could leave without taking the stairs as is my custom#they are so hot#my new friend is real cute too!
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the thing that severely fucks me up about the "no cishets at pride" argument is it's in COMPLETE dismissal of how major pride events have run for decades now.
as far back as i can remember, our local pride org had had cishet ally parents running the youth sections at pride events. you can EASILY find countless images of other cishet ally parents at pride parades marching either with their family or in MEMORY of their family. pride events with "free parent hugs" stops. it's just like how so many of those who contributed to the AIDS quilt were cishet family members honoring those who they lost.
cishet allys are, historically, part of our community as we know it today,
like. this is beyond "maybe touch grass". this is "learn your history" level kind of conversation, imo
There are two basic arguments for shutting the fuck up about cishets at Pride.
First: What if a trans kid asks their parents to show their support by attending Pride with them? What if a lesbian can only attend pride if she gets a ride from someone and the only person willing and able to drive her is her straight brother? What if a bi disabled person can't attend a large outdoor event without hands-on assistance from their straight partner? What if someone just wants to bring their fucking friends? What if, contrary to popular tumblr discourse, most queers don't inhabit perfectly pure social bubbles populated only by other queers?
Second and perhaps more important: If you think you can tell that someone is CIS, let alone HET, by LOOKING at them, you are a cop and an idiot.
#i understand deeply the intricacy of 'what about cishet people taking over gay bars' and honestly my response is like#my mom grew up in a HISTORICALLY gay neighborhood in the northeast. i mean hundreds of years of known gay culture#and recently the local staple bars have literally all vanished#and like. genuinely the saving money for them could've been cishet patrons going to get away from other cishets#and honestly i wouldn't even care if cishets frequented them bc that'd mean at least those historic bars would be open#but yeah. back to the point at hand#my parents have been the strong ally type since i more or less came out around age 14/15#and they're strong allies to not just me but my friends. they take them to surgery appts and feed them in recovery#they drive me to a whole different state so i can go to a good affirming clinic with a trans GP#my mom was the parent chaperone for pride events through my HS years. she would get up at 6 am to volunteer for pride events#i genuinely do not give a fuck if someone's cishet and at pride because that means they're caring 10000% more than others
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