#and support me and provide input as i draw !

[alfheimr]

you feel real to me.

[autistichalsin]

I know a lot of people find it boring how much Halsin talks about nature, and I do get it- it is repetitive. However, I also find that if you break some of his statements down into what he's implying, you end up with something a lot more interesting. (ESPECIALLY because a lot of these support the "Halsin is autistic" interpretation.)

Take, for example, Halsin talking about his place in the world, specifically relating to relationships:

Halsin: I still have hot blood in my veins. Nature gifted us our desires, and the means to act on them. But we muddied its beautiful simplicity with rules, social strictures... clothes. So, I am not bound to nature. I am unbound in nature.

Halsin: Relationship? Such terms belong to civilisation - a little unfamiliar to my lips. You know what we share is more fluid, more founded in the principles of nature.

Implications: Halsin finds society too complicated. He enjoys nature because its rules are simpler and more sensical; rather than social rules and structures that are beyond him (especially when you take into account the autistic Halsin interpretation), he feels comforted by nature, which is complex in a way that he understands.

There's also Halsin's friendship with Thaniel.

Halsin: I had a friend when I was young, long ago. He played with me in the forests where I grew up... but eventually, I realised no one else had heard of him. It was Thaniel, of course. Nature was my very first friend. I get older, but he hasn't changed a day. I knew then that I had to be more than a companion to him. I had to be a protector.

Implications: Nature, by being Halsin's first friend, has always been what Halsin is comforted by. It has been a steady and comforting presence for him, something he can rely in, in contrast to other people who are unpredictable. Nature is consistent and comforting for him.

Halsin, infamously, is not happy in the city of Baldur's Gate.

Halsin: Too much noise, too many lanterns kept burning... nature's rhythm is ignored here.

Implications: Halsin is overstimulated easily by excessive noise and other sensory inputs. Nature provides him somewhere quiet.

Halsin: I wish... I wish there was a better way. I wish everyone could see the sun, have a full belly, and know nature as a friend. There is a balance that is yet to be found.

Implications: Again, Halsin sees nature- not just Thaniel, but all of nature- as a friend. A source of comfort and companionship.

Halsin: I think on [politics and high art] also. But nothing matches the splendour of an ancient tree.

Implications: Halsin loves the beauty of the natural world as much as anything else. Rather than art or music (which he can appreciate), what he prefers is something that grew rather than being made.

Halsin: I am... less anxious to find myself in a city. So removed from nature's power - I do not know how I will fare.

Implications: Not only does Halsin prefer not to be in the city, but he is actually, to some extent, frightened of it (likely due to how overstimulating it is for him), in contrast with his feeling of being right at home in nature.

There's other things to note as well. If a Dark Urge player embraces Bhaal and then tells Halsin to bow, Halsin has this to say:

Halsin: Nature bows to none. It will fight on and survive, no matter what madness your god has inspired you to undertake.

Implications: Halsin views nature as strength, and admires that very much. He draws a lot of his tougher qualities from this aspect of the natural world.

Or a line where Wyll gently points out that he talks about nature a lot:

Halsin: When you care about something deeply enough, it consumes every thought and word.

Implications: Halsin isn't thinking of little else besides nature because he's "boring"; it's because it's important to him. (A special interest, one might say.) And when something is deeply important to a person, they think of everything else in relation to that thing; think of a sports fan who constantly uses sports metaphors to understand the world around them.

There's another party banter with Wyll that is telling when combined with what he has to say about the city, too.

Halsin: It is most unfair to pour such scorn on rats - they have their place in nature, same as you or I. 

Halsin: I thought cities were supposed to welcome folk of all walks of life. Clearly I was mistaken.

Implications: Halsin feels everyone has a place in the natural world, yet that the city shuns those it deems different. As someone who has struggled greatly with fitting in/finding a place he "belongs", Halsin feels more sympathetic to nature, where all living things belong, than anywhere else.

I think that when you break up Halsin's love of nature into all the little things it implies, it paints a much more interesting picture of him, personally. It also supports the "Halsin is autistic" interpretation, which makes him even MORE interesting.

[roaenexists]

Pick-A-Pairing Tarot and Oracle readings for the collective.

From left to right we have Pairing One: Leather. Pairing Two: Starburst. Pairing Three: Cerebral.

Pairing One: Leather.

You have been getting a little too big for your britches, as my grandma would say. You have been communicating and behaving in a way that has showed those around you a haughtier side of yourself than I know you'd prefer. In other words, you've been coming off as a bit of a bitch and we both know you're capable of better than that. You need to do some inner child work and tap back in to a learner's mindset. You don't have to fundamentally change who you are, just walk it back a bit. Did you ever love learning? Did you ever used to value the input of those around you? Tap back into that energy and you'll be surprised at how naturally it comes. Past You is here to support Present You. Stop trying to rush to your future self because right now you're missing the mark. Open yourself up to the lessons your friends and mentors and colleagues have for you, and embrace the youthful spirit you've been neglecting. Come home to yourself.

Pairing Two: Starburst

Recently you've ended something and then immediately begun something new that, quite frankly, you are ill-equipped to handle. I'm inclined to think it's a relationship, though for some of you it's a new job, or a personal project. But y'all all got one thing in common: You are going about this all wrong. You had your head in the clouds about what was going to be required of you, and how quickly you were capable of providing it, but the reality of the situation is that you have all the wrong tools, most of the wrong perspective, and none of the energy. You aren't seeing the situation clearly, most likely because you haven't been doing the necessary work on yourself to make sure you were ready for this new journey. If it's too late now to walk it back, don't panic. Set aside some time to really refill your emotional, spiritual, and physical cups. Make your own health and well-being the priority, at least for long enough to recenter and reassess. You cannot expect a battery to work when empty, and you cannot care for others without first tending to your own needs.

Pairing Three: Cerebral

Shit sucks right now. You're in a situation where you are powerless and/or unhappy, with the caveat being that there's no fucking reason you shouldn't be seeing and, more importantly, feeling progress already. You feel you've learned all you can from where you are, you've made all the moves, and all that's left is to move on. The good news is that it's only a matter of time. If you can bear down and get through time then you will be able to pursue your own idealistic future, which includes physically moving location in some way, and probably also mental health support services. Will you actually make it there is up to you, but overall this draw is giving big Trevor Project, "It gets better," vibes. It's corny but it is literally in the cards. You are moving forward. Time and space are not separate, so the longer you press on, the farther you are from where you want to leave. Things are changing. This is inevitable. If you can ride the tumultuous waters, they will eventually calm down, and you will be able to take control of your vessel in the way you know you need to. You know you are meant for different; you just need to believe it until your experienced reality is reflecting that truth back to you. Take this energetic hug from me and Spirit and know that your future is full of potential. If you need to vent you can DM me. Just keep going.

[all-risejd]

Chapter 23: The first Meeting (A Poly Judgement Day Fic)

San Diego May 10th, 2023 Wednesday

Nessa wakes up and rolls over snuggling back into Dominik's chest, what he told her last night coming back to the forefront of her thoughts. She rests her hand on his chest and smiles. He wants nothing more than to have that future he envisions for them. She draws shapes on his chest with her finger. She remembers the first time she met him in her Emergency room and how far they have come.

_____________________________________________________________________

Sometime in October of 2018

Nessa’s curly red hair is tied back in a messy bun, her stethoscope slung around her neck. The black scrubs she is wearing that day washing out her complexion making her look even more pale than usual. She looks up from her charting when she sees a young man, tall hair cut short with glasses and a hoodie with a wrestler she recognizes as Rey Mysterio on it. He is calling out for help as he is carrying someone, supporting their weight, practically dragging them in, blood pouring down the other guy's face, his eyes unable to focus.

“You gotta help me, we had an accident in training.” The boy in the hoodie asks, panicking, his own breaths shallow. 

Nessa springs into action, snapping on a pair of gloves as she runs over two other nurses joining her. Together they set the man in a wheelchair, one of the other nurses holding the wound on his head to stem the bleeding while Nessa uses her penlight to assess the pupillary response. “His pupils are sluggish, take him to CT and page Neuro while I get information from his friend here,” Nessa orders the others who immediately do as told. Nessa takes off her gloves and turns to the young man who she can’t help but eye up and down, appreciating the chubbiness in his cheeks and finding him adorable even in his panicked state. “Hey your friend will be fine, our doctors and nurses are the best in the state, now I need you to breathe.” She takes a deep breath to demonstrate and continues once he takes a few deep breaths with her. “Good, now tell me what happened and his name so I can start his chart instead of calling him John Doe.” Nessa gives him her best calming smile.

“Andrew, his name is Andrew Watkins, we were training, we are training to be wrestlers and he botched a move and hit his head on the steps.” He explains near hyperventilation again.

“Sir I need you to breathe with me again” She instructs, taking an exaggerated deep breath, the young man copying her. “Ok, now what is your name sir,” She asked as he blinked back tears.

“Dom, Dominik.” He answers, his voice shaky. 

Nessa nods and pats his knee. “Ok, Dominik, is there any family we can contact for Mr Watkins?” Nessa asks, writing down information in her little notepad to put in the chart when she is at her computer.

“Yuh… yeah, his brother” Dominik gives her his information and she quickly writes it down.

“Unfortunately Dominik I can’t give you any updates on him because you are not next of kin, I am going to call his brother and when he gets here we will give him the update and what he does with that information is up to him.” Nessa holds up her hand to stop him from arguing, “I’m sorry but it’s the law, he is alive and that is all I can tell you ok.” Nessa assures him before getting up and going back to the computer at the intake desk. She inputs the information into his chart and calls the number Dominik provided, then going back to triaging patients coming in and calling people back. 

Dominik keeps his gaze flickering between the door and to Nessa. Grateful at how nice she was and he can’t help but admire the strands of hair that have made their way out of her bun that frame her face and is floored at how she handles those coming in with such compassion yet being stern and firm when needed. Before too long Andrews' brother Alex comes running in and goes straight for Dominik. 

Nessa gets up from behind the desk and begins to go over to the two men, but gets stopped by someone stumbling in covered in blood that is still pouring from his neck and chest, over his hand where he has his thumb stuck in a gaping hole in his neck. Nessa immediately jumps into action, going over to the man and guiding towards the trauma room, only for someone to step in front of them. She looks up to the two men seeing Dominik, and the man that must be Andrew's brother Alex.

“I need you to move please.” Nessa asks firmly trying to guide the gentleman around them but Alex steps in front of her again. “Sir this man is bleeding out as we speak, I need to get him into the trauma room. A doctor will be out soon to update you on your brother now get the fuck out of the way before I mow you down.” Nessa orders losing her temper, her concern is the man bleeding out onto her scrubs. Dominik sees how serious the situation is and how serious the young woman is. He fears for Alex’s life so he pulls him out the way and she drags this full grown man, probably twice her weight and a good foot taller than her. He stares in awe at how strong she is, physically and mentally to be able to do this job. 

Alex scoffs and crosses his arms, “I am going to go get her manager, she can't speak to us that way.” He complains. 

Dominik rolls his eyes and smacks Alex on the back of his head. “Hey stupid, the guy was literally bleeding out and she is just trying to do her job. Andrew is alive, she told me that much. You totally deserved that and more. That guy could die because you blocked her way, look at the trail of blood on the ground.” Dominik gestures, both of their eyes going toward the trail that leads to the room a bunch of people are running in and out of, Dominik smiling to himself when he sees the petite redhead exit the room, a look of relief on her face before she disappears down a hallway.

____________________________________________________________________________

A few days later

Dominik enters the lobby of the Emergency room, his eyes searching for the kind red headed nurse, intent to apologize for Alex’s behavior and maybe… His eyes light up seeing her behind the counter. He pops his neck and shakes out his hands before heading over to her. He gets to the counter and clears his throat to get her attention, unable to form words because of how nervous he is. She looks up and smiles kindly at him.

“Dominik right? What brings you in today, is everything alright, was there another training accident?” She gets out of her seat and walks around the counter to assess him. 

He looks down at her and blushes, shaking his head. “Well then what do you need? This is an emergency room and we need to care for our patients.” Nessa crosses her arms and cocks her  head, confused as to why this man is in her ER with no injury or emergency.

“I uh…” Dominik clears his throat and starts again, “I wanted to apologize for my friend's behavior and for getting in the way the other day. You were just trying to do your job and here…” He flings his hand out towards her with a gift card to Dunkin Donuts. Nessa only raises her eyebrows, not uncrossing her arms. “You work long hours and know you must live off of coffee like my mom did and you deal with idiots like Alex and me all day so I thought you might appreciate it. The amount is written on the back of the card…” Dominik explains and Nessa slowly uncrosses her arms and takes the card, sliding it into her pocket without looking at the back.

“Thank you, that is very sweet. I Don't mean to sound rude but I have to get back to work and you don’t have an emergency to tend to so I have to ask you to leave.” Nessa steps to the side for him to leave but he stays in his spot, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised near his ears, clearly wanting to say something else. “Go on, say what you need to hun.” Nessa prompts and Dominik exhales sharply.

“I was wondering if I could take you out for coffee sometime as well?” His eyes widened, anxious for her answer, pulling his arms closer to his body, hands still in his pockets. Nessa sighs and looks at him sadly,

“I’m sorry sir, I’m not looking for a relationship right now and well I just don’t have the time.” She shoots him down, forcing herself to keep her arms at her side instead of wrapping them around herself for some comfort. 

Dominik looks dejected and his shoulders drop. “Oh that's fine, I just want to do something nice to make up for the other day. No expectations of anything else, please?” Dominik offers just wanting to get the opportunity to know her. 

Nessa shakes her head in the negative. “No to that either. As I said I just don’t have the time, and while you seem like a very nice man, very cute, I just can’t. Now please go so I can get back to work.” Nessa gestures towards the doors. Dominik nods his head before hanging it down, shuffling out the door clearly dejected. 

Once he is out the doors another nurse behind the counter snickers. “Oh he is sweet on you and seems like a sweet kid. You need someone like that after…” She starts teasing but gets serious. 

Nessa waves her off dismissively. “I don’t need or want a relationship right now, especially after what happened. It's only been a few months, thank god he is back in the UK. I need to learn how to be by myself for a while.” Nessa plops down in her seat and takes a sip from her water bottle.

The older nurse responds, “I know it's not just that, you are afraid and that's ok, but you know what I say about courage. It is being afraid and doing the thing anyway.” Nessa pauses in her typing, the woman's words hitting home.

“Sarah, I… I know… It's just… It’s just too soon.” Nessa answers.

Sarah gives her a sad smile. “Well that's fine then… sooooo… how much was that Dunkin card because coffee is on you tomorrow.” Sarah asks, changing the subject, and trying to get free coffee. Nessa rolls her eyes and scoffs, pulling the card out of her pocket. She flips it over and her eyes widen and she just stares at it. “What? How much is it like 50? Or something.” Sarah asks, rolling her chair over and looking at the back of the card. “Holy fuck!” Sarah almost yells seeing the $300 written on the back of the card. 

Nessa slowly lowers it and puts it back in her pocket. “We are not using this, if he comes back I am giving it back to him because that is ridiculous.” Nessa shakes her head.

Sarah pouts, “But come on, you deserve it and if he wants to just give you 300 bucks let him. He probably has a rich dad or something and doesn’t know how to properly apologize so that's how they do it.” Sarah theorizes, already back on her charting, muttering about rich boys under her breath.

“Who hurt you?” Nessa mutters as she taps her fingers on the desk. Sarah was content to ignore her in favor of charting, so shaking her head, Nessa continued on, “No Sarah, that is too much money. He will be back to ask me out again that I know. I'll give it back to him then, end of discussion” Nessa gets up and walks away not wanting to be badgered about the man.

____________________________________________________________________________

Almost a week passes by and Nessa is about to walk in the doors of the hospital, the gift card sitting unused in her wallet. Nessa enters and sees a different nurse, one she is very fond of, long light brown hair braided neatly, hung over her shoulder. The nurse looks up and smirks deviously at Nessa who groans, walking over and plopping down in her chair. “Don't you start Olivia, we may be best friends but you don’t get the card either, that is going back to him when he inevitably comes back.” Nessa shakes her head, swinging the chair side to side, eying the empty emergency room. 

Olivia giggles before responding, “Oh he has already been back, twice while you were gone with some fake ass injuries or minor bruising from his training. Apparently, he is training to be a wrestler like his dad.” Olivia teases and Nessa looks at her confused. Olivia continues on explaining, “Oh he came in asking for you and explained to me what happened that first time. And how he is so floored by how nice you are and how fierce you are.” Nessa gives Olivia a look that screams you better not have given him any information and Olivia clocks that right away. “Don’t worry I didn’t tell him anything important, Just that you are fresh out of a bad relationship and not ready for anything and to not get his hopes up.” 

Nessa sighs in relief, that sigh turns into a groan when she sees that Olivia is still smirking, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Whaaaaattttt” Nessa groans, not really wanting to know but unable to not know at this point.

“Do you want to know who his dad is?” Olivia asks.

Nessa shakes her head, signing in to the computer to try to do some busy work. “No, I don’t really care. I don’t plan to really see him again or get to know him so I don’t need to know.” Nessa answers even though the question is nagging at her but she ignores it. Olivia snorts but keeps the answer to herself, getting up to go intake the patient that just walked in.

___________________________________________________________________________

It is nearing 8pm and the end of Nessa’s shift which was thankfully uneventful. She looks up from her computer when she hears the sliding doors of the ER. She can’t help but roll her eyes to see Dominik again. Olivia hides her mouth behind her hand and giggles. “Men are so predictable.” Nessa mumbles under her breath as he approaches the counter, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slumped over trying to look smaller, a sheepish smile adorning his cute chubby face. Nessa shakes her head to clear that thought.

“I had another accident in training, this time legit. I hit my head and things are a little fuzzy, my trainer drove me.” He gestures to the door and rubs the back of his head and he winces at the pressure. 

Nessa goes into business mode, guiding him back into the exam room to get his vitals and information. Olivia wiggling her eyebrows at them, Nessa flipping her off before pulling the curtain closed for some privacy. “So I've been told you have been a frequent flier here for the last week.” Nessa starts the conversation while taking his blood pressure.

“Yeah well I felt I offended you by asking you out twice after you said no the first time then giving you the card with so much money on it. I’m not that kind of guy, no is a complete sentence and I know better. And I am not trying to flash money to get you to date me. I just wanted to do something nice, no strings attached.” He explains, wincing when she gently prods his head, lightly humming as she does.

“And what is prompting this oddly specific apology. I can assure you that I was not offended in the slightest.” She asks, typing information into her tablet to start his chart.

“Ah, uh.” Dominik stutters and rubs the back of his neck, “A good family friend, she, uh, pointed out how it looked and I never want to be seen like that. Uh it is also just dawning on me that the frequent unnecessary visits are also potentially troubling, I’m sorry I just needed to apologize in person and the other nurses wouldn’t tell me when you would be here which is understandable, the one out there told me you like coffee specifically a cold brew from Dunkin. And that you frequent the one around the corner...” He stares at the ground unable to make eye contact. 

Nessa sighs and digs out her wallet from her scrub pants pocket and takes out the Dunkin card. She steps over and holds it out to where it is in Dominiks line of vision. He looks up and meets her gaze. Nessa is looking at him softly, without any hint of malice or anger, just a resigned sadness that makes his own chest tighten.

“No I’m not taking that back, it is for you to use how you see fit. Buy the entire hospital coffee if you want but that is for you. If you try to give it back to me I will just give it back to you another way.” He tells her resolutely, gently pushing the hand holding the gift card back towards her. She reluctantly puts the card back in her wallet.

“Well fine then, Mr Gutierrez, your vitals are good, I need you to wait in the waiting room until we call you back for the doctor since this is a non critical head injury.” She instructs him, back to being all business but failing at hiding the genuine smile he brought to her face. He walks out of the exam room his head held a little higher and nessa shaking hers, the smile still on her face not going unnoticed by Olivia.

_________________________________________________________________________

Sometime in November 2018

Nessa walks into the ER lobby for her shift holding a carrier with three coffees. She gets to the registration desk and hands one each to Sarah and Olivia who beat her there. “Did I mention you are my favorite and I am glad we always have shifts together.” Olivia moans as she takes a sip of her coffee, Sarah hums in agreement. 

Nessa smiles and takes her seat sipping her coffee. “Well we still have a few more weeks worth of money on that card from Dominik so enjoy it while it lasts.” Nessa warns them, signing in to the computer not noticing the look Sarah and Olivia were sharing.

“You know we haven't seen your little cutie for a few weeks, and maybe since coffee funds are running low he can fill… it back up.” Sarah teases, sticking out her tongue when Nessa flips her off.

“You know, he has made you smile and we haven't seen that in a long time. You aren't on edge around him which is weird because you barely know him.” Olivia points out.

Nessa pauses, she hadn’t realized she isn’t afraid around him. She feels safe near him even though he is training to be in the same industry as her ex. “I know nothing about him, he isn’t mine and we are probably just the nearest hospital to his training gym…” Nessa rationalizes, not commenting on the observations of herself and her mental state regarding Dominik.

“Oh just give it time.” Olivia waves her off, the earful Nessa gave her about telling Dominik where she frequents for coffee worth the interference. If she has her way Nessa would be happy with the young man.

“Really Liv, can you not be such a matchmaker, I need to be by myself for a while just leave it be please.” Nessa asks, her annoyance lacing her voice. Olivia's reply is cut off by the sound of the sliding door opening. In walks Dominik with a bloody nose, holding a towel to it. Sarah snickers and Nessa lets her head drop to the desk, “Of course he would come in…” She mutters to herself and Olivia waves him over, opening his file and starting this visit. 

In between answering her questions he glances at Nessa, whose head is still on the desk but she is looking at him, catching his gaze and blushing. After a few minutes of this she picks up her head and pops her neck, collecting herself. “Either you are getting hurt on purpose, or you have no business training to be a wrestler, orrr your training partner really hates you.” Sarah comments.

Nessa narrowing her eyes at the implication. “Uh a little of column A, a little of B, and we are both inexperienced. But my dad and Jay Lethal are training me and they aren't easy neither is Andrew who gave me the bloody nose today.” He answers, his response slightly muffled through the towel he is still holding to his face.

“Hey, you have every business training to do what you want. I wanted to be a nurse now look at me, I graduated with my BA in nursing at 20 and have been doing this for two years. I want to help people so I am the best way I know how and from what little you have told me you have family in the industry you are training for so you have an in, and natural talent or I’m assuming they wouldn’t train you.” Nessa praises, not wanting him to be down on himself. She may not know him well but she can see he has confidence issues. He blushes at her praise and inwardly preens that she has given him even the smallest morsel of personal information.

Nessa covertly kicks Olivia under the desk for wiggling her eyebrows. “Go back to your normal bed Dominik, I’ll be in in a moment to take your vitals and do the initial exam.” Nessa orders, gesturing vaguely behind her knowing he knows the way. Once he is out of earshot she swivels her chair to face the other two who are smirking victoriously. “Don’t you two start, you are just as bad as Ma and my cousins.” Nessa warns, standing up and disappearing from their view as they giggle.

The next few weeks go similarly, Dominik coming in with minor injuries that Nessa treats, the two of them getting to know each other in these interactions. Both of them drag out the visits to be longer than they should, Nessa not ready to see him outside of the four walls of the hospital and Dominik not wanting to make her uncomfortable, able to tell there is something she is trying to heal from and he doesn’t want to press the subject. He is just happy with whatever she is willing to give him.

__________________________________________________________________________

Dominik enters his parents house for their weekly dinner since his dad is home. He is shocked to see Vickie and Lita sitting on the couch with his mom, all of their heads close together clearly scheming something. “Aunt Vickie, Aunt Amy, what are you guys doing here?” He asks, hanging up his keys on the hook on the wall.

“Your mom called us over for dinner to discuss how you are struggling to get your soulmate on a date.” Vickie bluntly states, mischief alight in her eyes.

“Oh come on…” Dominik whines, his arms falling limply to his side, averting his eyes at the look his mom is giving him.

“It's ok Dom, we will help you out,” Lita informs him, a calming tone to her voice.

“Mijo, go set the table, dinner is almost ready, we will be joining you in a few minutes.” Angie instructs, Dominik doesn’t fight or argue and just goes to do as he is told, knowing he can’t stop them from meddling, he just fears they will make it worse.

“Amy, Vickie, that is Kevin's daughter and she hasn’t had an easy time of it, and from what Dominik has told me she is skittish which begs the question what else has she gone through.” 

“Well that might be obvious and I hope we are wrong. However I have a plan, Here is what we are going to do…” Vickie explains her plan to the two women, their scheming getting interrupted by Rey who clears his throat.

“The table is set and food is dished out, lets go I’m wasting away…” Rey whines and the women roll their eyes but get up and go to the dining room, taking their seats.

“Ok Dom spill, how did you meet and what do you know?” Lita prompts, wanting to hear it from him. 

He groans and slumps in his seat, knowing there is no use in delaying the inevitable so he explains and throws in his own theories, which are limited because as much as he would like Nessa to share anything with him the most he’s gotten from her is generalizations.

“Well sweetheart that is one of our theories as well so you need to tread carefully, but her friend told you where she goes for coffee and she knows you know so I think enough time has passed to where you can just “bump” into her. Amy has volunteered to go with you… tomorrow. You've been racking up medical bills just to go talk to her and frankly that is both sad and adorable… and stupid” Vickie explains, pointing her fork at Dominik who looks down embarrassed and mumbling something the others can’t hear.

“What was that baby, speak up.” Angie orders, a stern look on her face which melts with his answer,

“I don’t want to seem creepy, it seems like her ex really did a number on her. I’d be happy just being her friend.” Dominik speaks up, his blush going from his neck up to his cheeks and ears, the women cooing at him.

“And have you gotten this young lady's number yet?” Rey asks and Dominik shakes his head as his answer. “Then you are already being creepy and running up ridiculous bills for the ER visits, we may be well off but Mijo this is excessive for someone who hasn’t even given you her number. Nothing against her at all but is she worth it?” Rey asks, his opinion on the matter crystal clear to the room.

“Look, you have the day off of training tomorrow so we are doing it. What time is she normally there?” Lita asks, sipping her glass of wine, giving Rey the side eye.

“Uh… yeah… She works from noon to midnight so she is there around 11 to relax before her shift. And according to Olivia she works tomorrow, so yeah we know she will be there.” He answers , setting down his fork because he lost his appetite, nerves setting in for the next day.

Rey’s words chip away at what little confidence Lita and Vickie might have given him. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Nessa grabs her order from the counter and goes to sit down at a nearby table, intent on enjoying the last 30 or so minutes before she has to go to work. She sips on her coffee, scrolling on her favorite fanfiction site, clicking on the Loki fanfiction, getting lost in the romance between Lauren and Loki, immersed in the world the author created, ignoring everything around her. She sips her coffee, unaware of a certain redhead that just sat opposite her in the booth. 

Lita glances at Dominik, giving him a reassuring smile before clearing her throat. Nessa looks up from her phone which clatters on the table when she recognizes just who is sitting across from her. “You… You’re Lita, holy shit I loved you so much as a kid.” Nessa blushes, the admission just flying out of her mouth. 

Lita smiles warmly at the young woman in front of her. “Yes I am, You don’t mind if I join you right?” Lita asks and Nessa can do nothing but nod her head and stare. Lita chuckles before complimenting Nessa and getting straight to the point, “You are very pretty you know, I think you would be good with my godson.” Lita leans forward and taps her fingers on the table, a familiar smirk on her face. 

Nessa’s smile falters slightly and she fiddles with the straw of her drink. “While that is sweet, I’m not looking for a relationship right now Lita,..” 

Lita cuts her off. “Call me Amy, dear.” 

Nessa pauses momentarily before trying again, “Amy, I’m not looking for a relationship. And if it is your godson as you say he is probably in the industry and I am personally trying to stay away from dating anymore wrestlers or professional fighters. My last relationship didn’t exactly go well.” Nessa groans realizing she gave too much information to her childhood idol.

“Oh he is training in the industry but he is the sweetest boy, cute too and knows how to cook and wouldn’t hurt a fly but I respect the wanting to be alone. At least let me give you his number and when you feel you are ready give it a shot. Between me and you he is entirely too shy so that’s why I am trying to play matchmaker.” Lita reaches over and squeezes Nessa’s hand. 

Nessa sighs in defeat, having a feeling that this mysterious godson is Dominik, it is too convenient that she comes to the coffee shop Nessa frequents and sits down and immediately starts to play matchmaker. “Fine, I guess I can agree with that. I make no promises to call or text him though.” Nessa hands over her phone, Lita snorts and types in Dominiks number but putting the contact name as Lita’s godson. Nessa grabs the phone back after Lita slid it across the table. Nessa checks the contacts and snorts, “What you won’t even tell me his name?” Nessa cocks her head.

Lita laughs. “I think you have an idea who it is. Look before I go lets take a selfie, you can make it my contact photo since I put my own number in in case you need me to come kick his ass.” Lita offers, while informing of the extra contact information. 

Nessa can't hide the blush, her childhood crush offering to take a selfie with her. Lita, used to the fangirling, gets up and moves over to sit next to Nessa, wrapping her arms around the young girls shoulders and grabbing her phone. Lita angles the phone and snaps the picture then kissing the top of Nessa’s head. Lita gets up saying her goodbyes and walking out the door, Dominik slinking out behind her unable to look at Nessa from the embarrassment. 

Nessa snorts into her drink and turns her attention back to her phone and the selfie that is still on the screen. She laughs to herself again seeing Dominik awkwardly staring at the ground in the background of the picture. She saves it as Lita’s contact photo suggested but never plans on having to contact her.

____________________________________________________________________________

A few days later Nessa is sitting at the counter at the nurses station, her phone in her hand staring at the contact screen of her phone, her finger hovering over the name Dom. She hears Olivia’s steps coming up behind her and greets the other woman, her eyes never leaving her phone screen. “You have been staring at your phone for like 3 days now. What's so interesting, are you finally talking to Dominik?’ Olivia asks, taking the seat next to Nessa.

“Uh no but… it's his number, his godmother kinda cornered me at Dunkin and gave me his number trying to play matchmaker.” Nessa huffed out. 

“Ohh so he got his Auntie involved that takes some guts, or some serious lack thereof. Either way it is cute.” Olivia giggles, sipping the coffee Nessa brought in for her. 

“You don’t think it's too creepy, or like a red flag?” Nessa asks, glancing over at the woman who quickly became her best friend.

“If it was any other circumstance I would say yes, but I am normally a very good judge of character and I never liked… your ex from the word go. But Dominik.. He… he has for lack of a better word a good aura about him. I think he would be very good for you and you for him.” Olivia gives her honest opinion, pausing before adding on, “I think you should message him and go out for one date, if only to get another Dunkin card for us to last through Thanksgiving and Christmas because girl we will need it.” Olivia jokes, but Nessa knows she is halfway serious about the Dunkin card; they would mainline it if they could for the holiday season. 

“I wouldn’t even know where to start and I don’t think I am ready. And you’ve heard about the stories coming out about the men in wrestling. What if..” Nessa starts rambling, spiraling.

Olivia cuts her off, quickly, “Don’t spend your life thinking about what ifs, we take life as it comes or we don't really live. You won’t know how it turns out unless you try. I’m not asking you to marry the man, just text him. Get to know him and put yourself out there. And if you fall, if it goes south i will be there like last time to get you out.” Olivia promises, her voice thick with said promise that settles the unease in Nessa’s stomach.

“Fine” Nessa mumbles to herself and clicks on the contact information and opens the messaging app.

To: Dom -> Hey… It's Nessa from the hospital. Uh Lita gave me your number, and I kinda thought it was adorable that either you asked for her help or she just stepped in and took charge. My money is on that she just stepped in and took charge. Long story short, I’m off at midnight tonight and if you are still up you can take me to waffle house or something, that way she gets off your back and the girls here get off of mine.

Nessa hesitates before pressing send and tossing her phone on the counter and begins chewing on her thumbnail, Olivia snickering in the background. A patient comes in and Nessa does the intake, missing the silent notification coming from her phone. Half an hour later Nessa returns to the counter having finished with the patient, letting out a huff as she plops into her seat.

“Your phone has gone off a few times while you were with that patient.” Olivia points out excitedly tapping her fingers on the counter, bouncing up and down. Nessa rolls her eyes, her stomach going in knots afraid of what awaits her in her phone. Unsure what she wants the answer to be. On one hand she wants him to reject her which she knows is unlikely, on the other hand she wants him to say yes, and wants to give him a chance. She takes a deep breath and grabs her phone, unlocking it, seeing 3 messages.

From: Dom -> YES!

Nessa snorts seeing the excitable answer in the first message, she ignores Olivia’s annoyed huff and reads the next two messages.

From: Dom -> Sorry, I mean I would love to take you out to Waffle House when you get off work. Do you want me to pick you up or do you want to meet me there that way you have a way to leave if you want to?

From: Dom -> And yeah, Aunt Amy is my god mother and she just wants me happy. Mom, her and Aunt Vickie were plotting how to interfere when Aunt Amy came up with the plan. I look forward to seeing you tonight, just let me know what the plan is!

Nessa narrows her eyes at the last message gears turning in her head. She used to watch wrestling back when it was the WWF and him saying Aunt Vickie triggered something in her head. “What, what is it?” Olivia asks, the excitement gone from her voice, in its place was a worried tone.

“Uh he said yes rather excitedly but, uh he said Aunt Vickie, Amy who is Lita and his mom were plotting to get us together.” Nessa explains and Olivia hums thoughtfully.

“Well, I don’t know anything about wrestling like at all but I can look it up, what do you know?” Olivia asks, pulling up google on her phone.

“Uh that his dad is a wrestler, and is being trained by, uh, Jay Lethal and his dad who he hasn’t given the name of. But Dominik’s last name is Gutierrez and he has an Aunt Vickie….” Nessa trails off, her eyes widened. Olivia stops typing when she sees Nessa’s face. “What is it Nes?” Olivia asks, worry heavy in her tone. 

Nessa clears her throat, “Uh, back in the day when I was young like 8 there was a custody battle that now seems so obviously fake but it was between Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero, could his Aunt Vickie be Vickie Guerrero?!” Nessa quietly exclaims, everything starting to make sense. Olivia starts researching on her phone letting out a soft gasp. Nessa narrows her eyes, “What did you find Liv?”

“Uh yeah it’s Rey Mysterio’s son. Rey's real last name is Gutierrez and his son is Dominik and here is Dominik’s instagram with a picture of him and his dad.” Olivia turns her phone towards Nessa who sits back biting her lip, spinning back and forth in the chair. “And does that change anything?” Olivia asks, annoyance flavoring her tone, her friend of course gets a handsome rich boy with a bright future ahead of him fawning over her and she is too scared. Though she can’t blame her.

“...No” Nessa starts, chewing her lip before continuing. “It doesn’t, it just complicates things a little… It does explain why throwing $500 away on a nurse he doesn’t know and the constant ER visits for no reason.” Nessa snickers, feeling a little less uneasy knowing more information about him. Her attention turns to her phone which vibrates again. She checks the message seeing yet another from Dominik and her stomach knots, the constant texts being reminiscent of her ex and she hasn’t even gone on a date with him yet. Nausea builds up until she reads the message.

Olivia watches Nessa’s face contort, showing a progression of emotions Olivia recognizes immediately, having seen them many times before when nessa was still with her ex. Olivia curses his name under her breath for breaking her best friend. She only hopes Dominik will help her pick up the pieces. 

From: Dom -> Hey sweetheart, it's Amy on Dom’s phone, he will meet you at the waffle house nearest the hospital you work at. You probably figured out who he is and he is freaking out that you don’t want to see him now. I am calming him down and he will be ready for you to be there or not, don’t worry about responding or feel pressured to respond or show up.

“Nes, are you ok what did he say?” Olivia asks softly, scooting her chair closer to Nessa who swallows thickly.

“Uh it was Amy, also known as Lita. She is with him right now and took his phone. He apparently started freaking out when he sent his last text message thinking, correctly, that I guessed who he was and worried I don't want to meet up with him. She said he will be at the waffle house near here and I can either show or not show no pressure.” Nessa scoffs, already well aware that Lita is trying to be a matchmaker. “She would get along well with Ma.” Nessa muses, rubbing her chest in an attempt to rub away the anxiety that flared up and to calm her racing heart. 

Olivia notices this, “Go take your break and take your medicine, I’ll text you if I need you.” Olivia orders. Nessa nods silently agreeing and goes to do as she is told. Mentally trying to get ready for her date that night.

[ashleyfableblack]

"Honeybug, I've been thinking…"

Twilight ran a hoof along her wife's barrel, listening to the soft cricket-like purring buzz through the chitinous plates of her slumbering body.

Chrysalis stirred, giving her alicorn partner a squeeze. "Mnnhmm. You do that, fairly often. It's one of the things I love about you." She accented the statement with a sleepy kiss to the tip of Twilight's horn and a flicker of her serpentine tongue. She adjusted herself to better clasp the much smaller mare to her body and gave a small yawn. "And what mystery are you pondering that demands you wake your poor, overworked wife from her well-deserved slumber?"

Twilight only purred in response. The crest of floof across her barrel fluffed up as her eyes took a mischefious glow.

She trailed a hoof delicately along the chitinous plates of Chrysalis' abdomen. "Your anatomy, specifically your reproductive structures."

"You have my attention."

She chuckled, brushing the satin of her wife's camisole aside to massage the bands of her wasp-like abdomen. "Weeeeell' evolutionary science teaches us that even in an enhanced environment of thaumaturgic conductivity such as Equus, the structures of a body exist to serve a purpose beneficial to the survival of the creature or the species as a whole. All organs have a purpose. Hearts pump blood. Brains process and store data. Bones, or in your case, a chitinous exoskeleton provide support and protection to vital regions and so on."

Her hoof trailed along the band of her wife's camishorts, drawing a playfully inquisitive chirp from the changeling queen. "Reproduction is generally a matter of processes best adapted to the climate, necessities of diet and thaumaturgic resonance. Most biological species consist of a standard binary of partners, one providing their essence to merge with the other and form offspring. The structures drastically vary from species to species but most fit into this broadly categorized system."

Twilight paused, tapping her hoof on her wife's flank. "Which brings us to you…"

Chrysalis chuffed through her fangs and smiled broadly.

"Your species is different than any other sentient species we know of. There are no sexes in the same sense as other creatures. There are only you, the queen and the rest, drones, effectively all female clones of you. Your body converts collected emotional energy into biological essence which becomes fertilized eggs. The process is asexual in nature requiring no input from a male…"

Chrysalis purred. "Yes. A clearly superior species."

Twilight smirked as she continued, massaging her wife's rump. "This parthenogenesis explains your prehensile ovipositor and a few of your internal structures, producing and laying the eggs."

Twilight's wingtip glided up the inside of Chrysalis's Thigh, exploring like fingertips. "But everything else around this neighborhood here is a bit of a mystery." She tugged at the satin bow of her camishorts with a raised eyebrow. "You have a butt. Which makes sense from a structural-" her voice lowered, taking a noticeable edge "-and pleasingly aesthetic perspective." Chrysalis wriggled with a sinister chuckle humming through her barrel.

"You possess the standard orifices one would find on a cisgender female pony. With the exception of the armored plating of your lebia majora the structures below the belt they're nearly identical. However, they seem to serve no clear purpose. Between your species' diet and the efficiency of your nutrition processing, your body has no waste to process and remove. Your ovipositor covers all external aspects of egg-laying so the reproductive aspects of your marehood and any internal components are non-existent."

Twilight looked up to meet her wife's heavy-lidded gaze. Chrysalis' snake-like tongue flickered at her inquisitively. Her slitted eyes betrayed nothing of her thoughts but her smile was born of wicked mischief.

"Which leaves us with the question. Why? You did promise me to never change your form during our times of intimacy, a promise which you have kept. This would indicate that this IS your standard structural configuration. Then again, I could also imagine you assuming these structures full-time prior to our relationship becoming official, perhaps as a preemptive means of making your body more familiar to me…"

Chrysalis leered back to her. Her look could light charcoal.

"What do you think?"

"I think… You like to be mysterious." Her wings' feathery fingertips slowly unlaced the bow of Chrysalis' camisole with a growing smile. "And you would do just about anything to make me happy."

The changeling queen gave a wicked chuckle worthy of a super-villain and draped her hooves over Twilight's withers.

"Right on both counts, beloved."

[nomsfaultau]

I have had this question for a long time.. but I'm not quite sure if I actually want to know the answer because the only theories that come to my mind aren't very.. pleasant and would probably cause me to look at all honey with suspicion afterwards.

How does Fault!Tubbo make honey? How does it even work? Do they theoretically have a lot of tiny wax combs inside that get filled with honey like in a normal beehive? Are they just one big wax comb? If so, does that mean that their legs are basically full of honey? I am very confused and concerned.

You are correct introducing that they are made of a bunch of tiny honeycomb cells. They each have wax caps that contain it much like real honey comb. The flesh is also partly made of honey, obviously congealed and crystallized, bee wax, and well skin probably. It is somewhat melted and inconsistent, with holes that appear at time so that bees have exits. Honey is made in the same way that normal honeybees do, plus also the conversion of human food they ‘eat’ being made into honey. They can subsist on human levels of food input or less DEPENDING on the availability of flowers and how large a hive population there is. Before the Foundation the population was in the million range, and Tubbo spends most of Fault with varying levels below their typical population. This general decreases the amount of food they need, but makes moving the body tiring especially when they can’t rely on walking, since the lower parts of the body support the upper ones weight.

A diagram of the skin and how it transitions to comb. This is lovely diagram provided by Dr. Blake in Excerpts from the SCP Foundation, a short collection of lab reports, contracts, security transcripts, and character POV. The dermis is 1-4 mm and the cells 4-8 mm or so. There are holes in the dermis where cell intrudes, allowing outward passage.

Tubbo is in fact hollow inside when not filled with bees. They can feel and inhabit separate pieces of themselves, and move them as all their motion is done via bees inside moving sheets of comb. It is not fully connected honey comb since then their joints wouldn’t work. This photo is from Casefiles: as edited by Tommy and Tubbo wherein they find and ahm correct the files the Foundation has created, plus some admittedly old drawings of them (since Tommy can only do stick figures)

And as for your last question, honey does not collect in Tubbos’ legs because they don’t have any!

(Actually it’s the wax capping but when the joke opportunity presents itself..)

[hypergamiss]

Why do you think it is narcissistic mothers are so invasive, and love to argue?? I live at home because I unfortunately cannot afford to be on my own because I don’t make enough…she is constantly wanting to argue with me and when I try to defuse it and say she’s right or say “okay” she wants to argue and escalate it more to where I am so upset and yelling…then she goes “why’re you yelling…” as if she didn’t lead it to come to that point even after I said I didn’t want to argue and that she was right?! Oh and she pretends she wasn’t yelling at all prior…it’s just getting awful and don’t understand how someone can have it in them to argue all the time….. She was cleaning my room to and found pregnancy tests …wanted to know all about it saying “it’s gross” kept asking invasive questions as to who I have been with and all that…i said to her “really you think that’s appropriate to ask me about, then proceed to want to know about it make comments and think I owe you information??” And honestly, I’m not sure she is a narcissist? but she makes me feel awful and like I can never be too close to her or tell her anything because I feel with her it’s “all or nothing”….any input?

Living with a parent who exhibits invasive and argumentative tendencies can be incredibly challenging, especially when coupled with financial constraints that prevent independent living. This becomes even more complex when the parent figure is a mother, as societal expectations often paint mothers as nurturing and supportive figures. So, why do some mothers behave in such a contrary manner?

While it's important to avoid self-diagnosing or labeling others, certain behaviors might align with narcissistic personality traits. Narcissism is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a need for admiration and control.

Invasive Behavior:

Lack of Boundaries: Narcissists often struggle with respecting boundaries, as they see others as extensions of themselves. Prying into personal matters, offering unsolicited advice, and making decisions on behalf of others are common manifestations of this trait.

Need for Control: Information is power, and for a narcissist, knowing intimate details about your life can be a tool for exerting control. It allows them to manipulate situations, offer "help" that serves their own agenda, and maintain a sense of superiority.

Argumentative Tendencies:

Inability to Accept Criticism: Narcissists often see disagreements as personal attacks, leading to defensive and argumentative behavior. This is fueled by their fragile sense of self-worth, which requires constant validation.

Gaslighting: Narcissists may twist narratives, deny their own actions, and make you question your own perceptions. This can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and even doubting your sanity.

Need for Attention: Arguments can be a way for narcissists to draw attention to themselves, even if it's negative. The emotional turmoil they create ensures that they remain the center of focus.

"All or Nothing" Dynamic:

Narcissists often struggle with maintaining healthy relationships due to their black-and-white thinking. You're either idealized or devalued, there's no in-between. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and a reluctance to share personal information, as you fear being judged or exploited.

What Can You Do? What is my input?

Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries and consistently enforce them, even if it leads to conflict.

Limit Personal Information: Share only what you're comfortable with, and don't feel obligated to divulge details that feel invasive.

Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist about your experiences. This can provide emotional validation and help you develop coping strategies.

Prioritize Self-Care: Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. This will help you build resilience and maintain your well-being.

Make some Plans: Depending on your situation, you might want to make plans to put yourself in a better financial position to live independently. If you have exhausted your efforts and decide that you really need to leave, start by researching areas with lower cost of living as possibilities to move to. Calculate what your monthly living expenses would be in potential areas. Seek better job opportunities, side hustles, and any opportunities that will make you extra income. You never know what will end up working out for you and its better to have explored options than be stuck. At the very least, have some emergency money saved up. Manifest a new reality for yourself.

Remember, you are not responsible for your mother's behavior, but you are responsible for taking care of yourself. Focus on setting boundaries, creating backup plans, seeking support, and prioritizing your own mental health.

[candied-cae]

Support For Palestine - No $$$ Needed!

Firstly, I highly recommend This Site, That Will Donate With One Click! (Seriously, no signing up, no inputing information, no costs, just press the button, I used it myself and you can revisit it every 24 hrs! So try to bookmark it or keep the tab open!)

And secondly, I recommend contacting your representatives in government and advocating for the millions of innocents currently facing danger in the Gaza Strip.

Joseph Biden, in a recent address, acknowledged that the "overwhelming majority of Palestinians had nothing to do with Hamas". I believe this time, right now, is our chance to try and break through our decades long, wrongfully given, support of the Ethnic Cleansing of the Gaza Strip. So I urge you, anyone with even just the time to spare, to try. Plead. Demand. At the worst, you tried and lost a little bit of time. At the best... maybe some people don't die.

So, I wrote a twt thread with instructions/advice for American Residents to reach out to their local representatives as simply, easily, and quickly as possible, and I wanted to share that same info here. I promise I only wants a few minutes of your time.

You can use this White House Contact Page to send one message to Biden and another to Harris. Just fill in your info and you can either write your own message, or feel free to copy and paste mine (it'll be at the bottom of this post)! The focus is first demanding that the US withdraws its support of the Israeli State.

Next, you can use this Common Cause page and instantly get all the information to reach out to your local representatives, it even tells you which committees they sit on! Just put in your address and it'll use that to find which jurisdictions you're in and provide links to all their contact pages. Again, fill in your info, some of mine also required a Topic, so I selected either "Foreign Relations/Affairs" or "Civil Rights and Humanities" and put in my message.

I clicked through all of mine, sent in my messages, used the exact same ones for all of them, only adding an additional note for my most direct representative as I grew up in the same town and wanted to express that to hopefully assist in drawing on his humanity, and it only took me about 30 minutes to get through.

Personally, I wanted to scream and rage and throw my whole beating angry heart at them and their gross, racist bigotry that allowed them to not only neglect the issue of the Israeli Occupation, but fund it. The US has been aiding Israel in their ceaselessly cruel genocide against the Palestinian people, and I'm sure it lights a white-hot fury in many of us. But, I wrote this plea with as much restraint and grace as I could bring myself to allow, if only for the sake of them possibly listening instead of tuning it out.

My statement -

Subject : We Cannot Support a Genocidal Ethnic Cleansing

To the Office of  _________ - 

I am pleading with the governing powers in place to help the people of Palestine. The government in Israel has said not only with their actions, by committing multitudes of War Crimes and breaking the Geneva Convention repeatedly, but even in their own words that they intend to entirely decimate and wipe out the citizens of Gaza. They have already killed and injured thousands in only these last few days - to say nothing of the past 7 decades they have spent doing the very same - and this devastation is a human rights violation like something we have never seen to this degree being supported and under-reported. Especially by the American Government, which has always held its citizens to the belief that they are a good and just organization that stands for humanity wherever it can. 

We have already lost so many innocents in Palestine, but there are still so many that can be spared and saved if our government can withdraw its support of the Israeli Occupation. If they can inform their citizens of the truth that has been happening for so, so very long.

The U.S. has been wrong in its history of supporting and ignoring the cruelty that has been taking place for so long. But only by righting ourselves, by admitting and accepting that the financial aid we've sent has, at this point, become a sunken investment without the extermination of the Palestinian people. It hurts to lose so much money, it hurts to admit we've been on the wrong side of history, but the only way to stop the damage from growing exponentially worse, is to address it honestly now. 

This is not about Judaism. This is not about Jewish people by ethnicity or religious affiliation. This is not about Nazism or Antisemitism.

This is about the colonizing power of the IDF that has been ignored and allowed for almost a century.

Please. Try to save some of them before it's too late.

This comes from a concerned citizen who is feeling extremely devastated by the state of things currently. 

As a human being, who I hope cares for the lives of fellow human beings, we cannot allow this to happen. Least of all with our seal of approval. 

-[Your Name and any Salutations]

[songbirdseung]

can you see me here? / sim jaeyun ft. heeseung

Office Allure

The sun cast a warm, golden glow-y sunrise across the city of Seoul as Y/N hurried through the streets, trying not to be late for work. Her destination was the same as it had been for the past three years – a sleek, high-rise building that housed Kim & Associates, one of the city's most prestigious law firms. Y/N was a rising star in the firm, known for her unwavering dedication and sharp legal mind.

But there was another star at Kim & Associates, one who had captured Y/N's heart from the moment she had laid eyes on him – Lee Heeseung. Tall, with a disarming smile and a keen intellect to match, Heeseung was a formidable presence in the office. He had a knack for turning heads wherever he went, including Y/N's.

Every morning, Y/N would steal glances at Heeseung as he strode confidently through the office, his charisma drawing everyone's attention. She admired him not just for his professional accomplishments but also for the kindness he showed to his colleagues. But there was one problem – Heeseung didn't seem to notice Y/N beyond their professional interactions.

Right on time, she enters the building and clocks in. She strides along through the building. The elevator brings her to her floor and Y/N does all the necessary greetings and heads to her cubicle. Y/N loves her cubicle, there is enough room, and it is decorated in all her favorite knick knacks, a picture frame with a photo of her and her family is placed near the desktop. The best part was how Heeseung was the in the cubicle next to hers. She tries every day to start small talk, ask about the weather, his day, whatever. But she always chickened out.

A Furtive Heart

Y/N's one-sided affection for Heeseung was a closely guarded secret. She had never been good at expressing her feelings, especially when it came to matters of the heart. Instead, she channeled her emotions into her work, striving to be the best attorney she could be.

As for Sim Jaeyun, a fellow lawyer at the firm, he harbored a quiet affection for Y/N. Jaeyun had admired her dedication and intelligence for years, often finding excuses to be near her, offering his help on cases, and engaging in friendly banter. But Y/N was oblivious to his feelings, her heart held captive by Heeseung's allure.

One day, as Y/N was engrossed in a complex case, Heeseung appeared at her desk, his warm smile directed at her. "Y/N, I need your help with some research on the Smith case. You're the best at this," he said, his voice carrying a hint of admiration.

Her heart fluttered at the compliment, but she nodded, trying to maintain her composure. As Heeseung leaned over her desk to discuss the case, Y/N couldn't help but be aware of the proximity of the man she secretly adored. Her pulse quickened, and she offered her full attention, eager to prove herself to him.

Jaeyun watched from a distance, his heart heavy with the knowledge that Y/N's affections were firmly fixed on Heeseung. He had never mustered the courage to confess his feelings, fearing the inevitable rejection. Instead, he continued to support Y/N, silently providing assistance when she needed it and offering a friendly shoulder to lean on.

One evening, as Y/N was working late in the office, Jaeyun approached her desk, a cup of coffee in hand. "You've been working so hard, Y/N. I thought you might need some caffeine to keep you going," he said, his smile warm and genuine.

Y/N looked up from her work, her eyes reflecting gratitude. "Thank you, Jaeyun. You're always so thoughtful," she replied, accepting the coffee.

Their conversation flowed naturally as they discussed work, hobbies, and dreams. Jaeyun listened intently, cherishing every moment he spent with her. But as the evening wore on, the office door swung open, and Heeseung entered, looking for Y/N.

"Y/N, I need your input on the Johnson case. Can we talk?" Heeseung asked, his captivating smile directed at her once again.

Y/N nodded and glanced back at Jaeyun, who had quietly retreated to his own desk, his heart heavy with the knowledge that, once again, he was invisible in the presence of Y/N's one-sided love.

Unspoken Confessions

Months turned into years, and Y/N's feelings for Heeseung remained unspoken, a silent ache in her heart. She watched as Heeseung continued to rise within the firm, his star shining brighter with each success. Y/N was content to be by his side, even if it was only as a colleague and a friend.

One fateful day, as Y/N was poring over a particularly challenging case, Heeseung approached her desk, his expression serious. "Y/N, there's something I need to tell you," he began, his voice tinged with uncertainty.

Her heart raced as she looked up at him, her eyes wide with anticipation. Could it be that he felt the same way?

"I've been offered a position at a prestigious law firm in New York," Heeseung continued, his gaze fixed on her. "It's a fantastic opportunity, but it means leaving Seoul and Kim & Associates."

Y/N's heart sank as she absorbed his words. Her feelings for Heeseung had never wavered, and the thought of him leaving was almost unbearable. But she managed to put on a brave smile. "Congratulations, Heeseung. That's an amazing opportunity, and you should definitely go for it."

Heeseung nodded, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I'll miss everyone here, especially you, Y/N. You've been a great colleague and friend."

Friend. The word hung in the air like an unspoken confession, and Y/N's heart ached. She wanted to tell him how she felt, to let him know that her affection for him went beyond friendship. But the words remained trapped, unsaid, and the moment passed.

The Unfinished Story

In the weeks that followed, preparations for Heeseung's departure were in full swing. Y/N threw herself into her work, using it as a shield to protect her fragile heart. Jaeyun, ever the supportive friend, was there to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on.

As the day of Heeseung's departure drew near, the office organized a farewell party in his honor. Y/N watched from a distance as her colleagues raised their glasses and toasted to his future success. Her heart ached with a mixture of happiness for him and sorrow for herself.

Late that evening, after the party had ended, Y/N found herself alone in the office, gazing out at the city lights. Jaeyun, who had stayed back to keep her company, stood beside her.

"Heeseung is leaving tomorrow," Jaeyun said softly, breaking the silence.

Y/N nodded, her eyes welling up with tears she had been holding back for too long. "I wish him all the best," she whispered.

Jaeyun turned to her, his gaze filled with warmth and sincerity. "Y/N, there's something I've wanted to tell you for a long time."

Her heart skipped a beat as she looked into his eyes, finally realizing the depth of his feelings. "Jaeyun…"

Before she could say another word, Jaeyun leaned in and kissed her, his lips soft and tender. It was a kiss filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that had lingered between them for years.

As they pulled away, Y/N's eyes filled with tears, but this time they were tears of gratitude and love. She had discovered that sometimes, the person who had been there all along, silently supporting her, was the one who truly held her heart.

Heeseung's departure the next day marked the end of an era, but for Y/N and Jaeyun, it was the beginning of a love story that had long been waiting to be written.

[ephemerastardust]

[DCBB2022] Art for Will the Circle be Unbroken

Link to fic

This is the first time I participate in DCBB and there is so much talent here!! I was so luckily paired with LoversAntiquities (Tumblr) and a chance to draw for such a beautiful fic!

Banner

I was traveling for the whole week when the claim happened and didn't have much time before the promo graph due 😅 I did this piece on the plane 😅

Waterfall

This was the first scene I wanted to draw and also the top scene Ash chose from several drafts I provided. I planned it as a banner as soon as I finished reading the fic, and planned it portrait rather than landscape at first, but then I felt it was not much like a banner and it was also hard to fit the characters in, so I switched to the current version.

I slightly censored this one to post it here (with Cas' wing!!) and the original version with their hips exposed can be found in the AO3 post or in the fic :D

Hiking

I struggled so much with their pose and the angle of the camera (changing the direction of the trail, the direction they face, and the height of the camera so many times 🤣) in this piece, also changed the background from open mountain to trails in woods according to my author's input, but finally I love the color of the woods here :D

To my Author, fellow artist, and mods

I am so happy to be paired with Ash and had so much fun (and challenged myself so much hhh) drawing these pieces. The fic is as beautiful as I imagined, full of softness, warmth, and love. There were so many scenes I wanted to do - I actually sent Ash six drafts in the first week while I was traveling for different scenes and asked them to order hhhh but I only had time to finish the top 2 before posting... Hope I can finish more for it in the future!

I want to say so many thank you to my fellow artists I met in this bang. They were always supportive and always provided me with valuable feedback. And they are all so talented! I love all the posted art and all sneak peeks shared in the artist channel!

And I want to say thank you to all Mods! They were so friendly and gentle hhhh and I had much fun playing with the color palettes shared by Aceriee! Thank you all for the time and efforts that make this journey so enjoyable!

[ceruleanmusings]

Mayblade Day 2: School // TyHil Love Countdown: Autumn

I've been working on this entry for the TyHil Love Countdown prompt of autumn for ages. It's only when Mayblade came back around that I finally got the motivation to finish it because the prompt for day 2 was school and it fit both themes. I know I'm super late for both but I hope you all enjoy it anyway! Can also be found on FFN and AO3

-------

Deciding to have the Bladebreakers as the main draw for the café was somehow Hilary’s best and worst idea.

Uttering a long sigh, she dropped into a chair and stretched her arms upward and back until satisfying pops zippered down her spine. Leaning forward, fingertips dragging against the slightly sticky surface of the desk, she rested her cheek against her arm. The soft, cuffed uniform sleeve brushed against her cheek and may as well have been a cloud beneath her weary head. Her eyelids drooped and fuzzed the remains of her hard work littered around the room. The throbs in her feet pulsed along with her heartbeat, a glaring reminder she still had work to do but her body couldn’t bring her to get out of the chair. It was the first time she’d been able to sit since they opened.

“You didn’t have to stay,” she commented when Ray stepped into her line of sight.

Humming, he folded a cloth over a few times and dropped it into a nearby desk. It landed with a wet smack and he scrubbed it against the surface in large circles. He flashed her a kind smile and said, “I don’t mind giving you a hand.”

“I should be thanking you for giving me a hand.” Leaning back, she propped her chin in her hands. Her eyes followed his rhythmic strokes. “This café wouldn’t have worked without your menu.”

He shrugged. “It was a group effort.”

“Don’t be so modest! Everyone ranted and raved! Your ramen was amazing! And the daifuku and dango were a big hit.”

“Yes, well, the ramen I can’t take all the credit for. It helps that Kenny was able to bring me his mother’s recipe.” With a deft flick of his wrist, the towel arced through the air and landed on the shoulder of his once pristine shirt. A long day in the school’s nearby kitchen left him with bits of food on his shirt, but it was an equal trade to the pieces of his heart he left on every plate. “As for the rest, you all provided your input as well.”

“Just take the compliment. It won’t kill you.”

Chuckling, Ray rubbed the back of his neck. “I appreciate it. I didn’t want to let you down. I know this was important for you.”

“Oh, it wasn’t that important…” She attempted to wave him away but the look he nailed her with made her break into a grin. Who was she kidding? Important didn’t even come close! It was imperative her class’s café was a success! Especially because they were going head-to-head with the café from the year above them. They had models and wannabe idols in their class as their draw. Hilary knew she’d have to go big to ensure their café was profitable and that meant more than having the best menu, the best decorations, the best theme, and the best advertising. Anyone could do the bare minimum and call it a day. But Hilary wasn’t anyone and she certainly didn’t do the bare minimum.

She was class president. They all looked to her to think up ideas, execute, and provide. The money they could raise would go to support their class trips or provide extra money to their clubs. Their café had to stand out. It was a no-brainer for her to utilize the resources she had at hand, namely being the manager of a world champion beyblading team. They owed her, anyway, for all the times a bunch of spinning tops somehow threw her life into danger.

Thankfully they all agreed with little fuss. Even Kai got involved, though she had to compromise where to place him. She wanted him as a server, he wanted to have as little interaction with people as possible, so she placed him as host. His disinterest and obvious disdain for having anything to do with it won him fans; Hilary couldn’t help but laugh every time he passed her with blushing girls in his trailing wake. The more he ignored them, the more they tried to gain his favor.

Max, however, she knew she put in the right place as a server. Saying he thrived would be an understatement; Hilary couldn’t chalk it up as a coincidence their customers tended to spend more if only to get the chance to be in his charming spotlight. Their orders came with compliments and praise, all as sincere as the ever-present smile gracing his lips.

Kenny pulled double duty, being a server and working in the kitchen. He wasn’t one for personal conversation like Max, but he did a great job talking up the menu and explaining which options lived up to the price point. Acting as a sous-chef helped Ray keep his delivery smooth and on time. And as the class treasurer, he kept a good real-time account for how much money they were bringing in.

Every now and then Ray would leave the kitchen when requested, accepting compliments and raves about his food with a small bow and a humble smile, sending their customers into a high-pitched frenzy.

And Tyson. Well. Tyson was in his element. Hilary didn’t have to tell him his place in the café, he jumped at the chance to serve his public and regale them with tales of his beyblading adventures and minute-by-minute recaps of all his championship wins. He moved from table to table, boasting and raving about Dragoon and answering any and all questions. The girls inflated his ego. The guys loved poked at his bravado.

Hilary didn’t rein him in, no matter how many times she had to bite his tongue. That was the whole point of the café being centered around the team and their appearance, after all. Each menu item was hand-picked by them so the customers could order Ray’s daifuku, Kai’s dango, Kenny’s ramen, Max’s taiyaki (with a side of mayo), Tyson’s namagashi, or Hilary’s anmitsu, all served with Ray’s special blend of green tea. It was getting the Bladebreakers on a plate, an all-senses experience. Besides, she’d never seen Tyson so excited for anything school related in her life, and she wasn’t going to cut him at the knees for it. If he wanted to brag, he could brag. He had every right to be proud of his wins.

“You have to give yourself some credit as well.” Hilary’s eyebrow lifted as Ray pulled a chair over. He sat and stretched his legs out next to her. “This wouldn’t have been a success without your organization.”

Hilary snorted. “Even with my clipboard?”

“You wouldn’t be Hilary without it.”

At least he appreciated it. Some of the boys in her class didn’t keep it much of a secret their thoughts on her ways. Snide comments and mumblings under their breaths when she assigned them a position or asked them to take care of an inventory task were commonplace. The girls, however, tended to voice their displeasure to her face, wondering why she wasn’t doing the work. Hilary pointed out she had to keep a running tally in her head of what was in stock or running low, where everyone was, the tables occupied vs the tables needing to be filled, and that was without throwing in remembering all the places they borrowed chairs, desks, silverware, table clothes, and centerpieces from to put them back. All they did was stick their noses in the air and got back to cleaning the empty tables. The clipboard kept them on track. And she may have sometimes used it to give Tyson a good whack when he made a comment about her being a dictator.

“I’m sure in the end they’ll see it’s a good thing you’re so on top of things,” Ray said.

“Maybe.”

“I mean, you somehow managed to keep Tyson in line.”

“It only took me, what, eight years? And he was around food so I’m sure that helped.”

“Sure. That’s what helped.” Ray’s lips twitched and a sparkle appeared in his golden eyes. She sat up straight, eyes narrowing, and he stood. “I’ll be right back. I want to make sure I packed my knives.”

Hilary waved him off and settled into the silence of the empty room. She allowed the weight of the day to press down her eyelids and lower her shoulders and ease her into the first bit of peace and quiet she had all day. Finally, no one talking back, no questioning her judgement, no pushback, no one running to her for help. It was only fitting, after keeping an eye on everyone, she was the last one left to clean up everyone’s mess. Heck, Tyson was the only one who hadn’t given her grief all day.

Her lips pursed. Hmm. It was a bit odd, wasn’t it? Tyson not being the one to give her grief but the rest of her class taking up the mantle. Usually anything coming out her mouth would have Tyson jumping down her throat, ready to tell her she was wrong or she was boring or she needed to lighten up. But not today.

In fact, not lately.

She wracked her brain, trying to remember the last time they’d actually argued, only to draw up a big blank. She’d spent more time talking to Tyson than she had argued with him. Especially when they went to the gardens.

Her lips lifted into the trace of a faint smile. That was a nice day. In the end, she didn’t notice her missing friends. Tyson happily ate his portion of the food she prepared and lay down afterwards, hands stroking his distended belly with a large, satisfied smile. Before long, his eyes drooped, and his breaths evened out and the bits of sun peeking through the leaves mottled his face. She pulled out a book and, every now and then, peered as his serene face. She’d almost taken a picture of it, the urge pulling at her strings, when he surprised her by asking about the book. Her hasty and surprised shuffling to hide her phone switched to shocked surprise at his inquiry. It didn’t last long, of course, when he jumped up to throw around the frisbee she’d brought but it returned when he asked about it again on the walk home, stopping at their friends’ houses along the way to give them their portions of Hilary’s meal. By the time they reached her home he gave his opinions on it. The fact he had opinions alone nearly bowled her over and it was his off-hand comment about preparing himself for the next rom-com book she read that kept her standing in the doorway of her home, staring at him, until her father’s throat clearing from somewhere in the home yanked her back to her senses.

Even when she brought up her café suggestions during their class meeting for the Culture Festival, he was the first to say it was a good idea despite the fact others were doing cafés as well. And when she brought up the idea of using the Bladebreakers as their main hook, he cut through their accusations of her bragging and brought the rest of the class around, not with his achievements but simply off the strength that it was Hilary’s idea and, as he’d witnessed firsthand, her insight tended to be spot on, so he trusted her.

And the moments between, where he’d wait by her shoe locker on the days they didn’t arrive to school together so they could go to class, or when lunch came around and he’d immediately plant himself atop her desk so he could figure out what she had to see if she wanted to trade, or when they studied out back of his home by the koi pond on the beautiful days, sharing equally exasperated looks and snickers at Kenny ranting over something that happened in Ming-Ming’s newest variety show. All places they would have argued or bickered before, but…for some reason they hadn’t.

Her eyebrows furrowed, puzzle pieces slowly fitting together in front of her eyes. Every time Hilary walked by as the day wore on, checking in on everyone, he asked if she needed him to do something. Your job, was the first thing that came to mind the first few instances yet, over time, it hit her he wasn’t asking because her presence was interrupting his stories. He was asking.

“I can handle it,” Hilary said, every time, with a smile of reassurance. And he’d nod, his eyes lingering on her a bit before being pulled back in to telling a customer about the time he was warped to a different dimension (which were at least three occasions more than a normal person should be saying.)

But he got annoyed by it, she supposed, because the last time she said it he huffed, crossed his arms, rolled his eyes and said, “I know you can handle it. Believe me, no one knows more than I do. But that doesn’t mean you should.” She didn’t have time to sit in her surprise when he continued, “Maybe I want to help handle you.”

The din of chatter, teacups tapping against their base, and chairs scraping against the floor lowered in volume in favor for her heart pitter-pattering against her chest. Her lips pressed together, the glossy and sweet lip balm she’d applied hours ago left tiny traces of strawberry against her dry tongue. Somehow, beneath all that, she heard the odd chuckle come out of Tyson’s mouth as his arm flew back to rub at his neck and a bright red blush appeared on his cheeks.

“That’s not…what I meant…”

So what did he mean?

Hilary’s eyes flew open and she let out a long, agonizing groan. She knew the day she let Tyson into her life he’d go and mess up all her plans and expectations, but she never expected this. When beyblading was in season she knew what came with it, she knew what Tyson she’d be handling, she practically knew what he was thinking. But this Tyson…she couldn’t get a heads or tails of him and that left her with too many sleepless nights replaying her day in her head, dissecting everything he said and the way he smiled at her and how she felt about it all. And right now she felt, decidedly, very, very confused.

“Have a nice nap?” Hilary sat up as Ray took his previous seat. Her eyes trailed from the amused expression on his face to the plate he pushed across the table to her, where three perfectly pink and beautifully shaped nerikiri wagashi. If she hadn’t smelled its sweet scent, she would’ve thought three chrysanthemums sat in front of her.

“Wow, Ray! These are amazing!” She briefly clasped her hands together in her gushing appreciation, eyes widening, and took a hearty bite. The bean paste melted in her mouth and washed over her tongue. “Oh, it’s so delicious!” She bit again and restrained from kicking her feet in the air, savoring her favorite sweet. “I didn’t know you knew how to make these.”

“I don’t and I didn’t.” He spoke so calmly as he lifted a piece of fruit up to his mouth. Even as he chewed, his lips curled up into a very cat-like smile at the corners.

Hilary held her hand in front of her mouth as she chewed. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, these had been left for you.” Her chewing stalled while Ray’s continued. Puffing a breath out his nose and shaking his head, he dug into his pocket and passed over a folded bit of paper. Her wagashi landed on the plate with a thud as she took the paper and hastily opened it. Slanted, scratched lettering stared back at her:

I didn’t see you eat earlier

Short quick and to the point. The direct opposite of a note Ray would have left; he and Max were more thoughtful with their words no matter the occasion. Kenny took out the emotion and went for something more clinical. Kai, on the other hand, wasn’t one to write notes and when he did remember to text back, it tended to be short words or just “k.” (she was still trying to teach him better texting manners). And she wasn’t particularly close with anyone else in her class, certainly not so much that the same ones who looked at her over their wrinkled noses would extend their thoughts to her past what she as class president could do for them.

Hmmm.

Ray’s gaze burned the side of her head as she carefully folded up the note and put it in her pocket. Avoiding his gaze, she popped the rest of her sweet treat into her mouth, her free hand dug deep in her pocket, her thumb flying over the buttons to shoot out a quick text: thank you.

It was when Ray waited for her by her locker to switch out her shoes that her phone buzzed against her hip. Pulling it out the pocket of her blazer, she flipped open the screen with her thumb, spying Tyson’s name with a quick message below:

;)

[fanficwriter284]

Please write a pregnant tiff fanfic

HEY ANON! Thanks for the request! I've been missing these fic requests!! Sorry it took me so long!

Tiffany Valentine Ray, infamous for her throat slits from the 80's and 90's, alongside her then boyfriend, Charles Lee Ray the Lakeshore Strangler, now settled down, with a family, and married. A mother of three, and now carrying her fourth child. The gender unknown, since she had always loved surprises contrary to her husband. The blonde hand been around 8 months now, her excitement growing with each day. However so were her migrants, along with random sores and aches she felt along her body, much to her discomfort. She laid in her bed curled and intertwined with the various blankets, cuddling her pregnancy pillow for support. Meanwhile her husband snoring turned opposite from her on the far end of the bed, which was perfectly find with her, she was able to have more bedroom and space.

She felt bad for Chucky who had an allergic reaction earlier in the day, to something their neighbor had gifted them as a treat and was forced to endure a painful stab of an EpiPen. The experience had shocked the whole family since to their knowledge Chucky hadn't been allergic to anything. Now he was resting his faint snores being heard by an aching Tiffany who lay on the left side by the air-conditioning. Tiffany tucked her legs further and laid a hand on her stomach feeling their baby. She groaned in minor discomfort, drawing the attention of her husband. The blonde sighed, a bit sad she awoke him, wanting him to continue to rest.

"You ok?" He quietly asked itching his throat a bit as he mumbled.

Tiffany lightly grabbed his hand pulling it away from his neck, and carefully setting it on her stomach allowing her drowsy husband to feel. She couldn't help but smile hearing his faint wholesome gasp as the baby kicked once again. She turned her head towards him, revealing her piercing emeralds, now locking with cornflower sapphires.

"What do you thing it's gonna be?"

Chucky kissed her soft moisturized palm, and nuzzling into it as he felt her begin to dig her manicured nails massage his head and fiddle with her vermillion locks.

"A Girl...what about you?"

"I don't know...honestly I'm happy with any Sweetface...but I'm thinking boy"

"Ya think?"

"Yeah...you want another little girl Sweetface?"

Chucky burrowed his face deeper into her reliving grasp.

"Mhm...but like ya said Tiff...I'm happy with whatever"

Tiffany let out a bashful smile, feeling a tender sweetness in his response.

"Have you thought of any names?"

The redhead shook his head, now lowering it to his wife's shoulder region, resting his head in the crook of her neck, letting out a subtle hum.

"Show we stick with "G'' names?"

Chuck just shrugged his shoulders, digging his head deeper.

"I was thinking Charlie, Or Charles, or Charlotte, maybe Ginny, or Gavin"

Chucky held back a frown, hearing his name as one of the choices. He never liked his name and wouldn't want his child to bear it as well. He always picked the middle names for their children, while Tiffany picked their first names, and sometimes providing some input regarding his children's first names. This time he wanted to split away from the "G" names.

"Hm...no not Charles..."

Tiffany let out a mischievous grin, thinking of possibly calling their child Charles Jr.

"Hehe alright then...not Charles"

Chucky went back to itching his throat only to have his wife pull away his hand, after minor resistance he complied realizing if he did anything to upset his wife, as hell could possibly break loose knowing her mood swings.

"I think our neighbor was trying to fu---fricking poison me"

The blonde snickered hearing him caught himself mid curse, and happy that he respected her wishes to not curse infront of the baby bump.

"We don't know that Sweetface"

"Chelsea"

"Huh?"

"I like that name, Chelsea"

"And if it's a boy?"

"Carolus"

Tiffany gave a slight nod, satisfied with her husband's name ideas and finding it sweet with his selection. Her euphoric expression quickly contorted into immense discomfort feeling the baby kick once again, however this time a bit harder. Enough for her to let a minor grunt, grabbing the attention of Chucky, whose face was full of concern.

"Are you okay?" He asked his hand now on her bump rubbing it softly.

Tiffany nodded intertwining her fingers with his, tilting her head upward giving him a peck on lips.

"Mhm...Just fine...you should get some rest Sweetface"

"...yeah....you too Tiff"

"Night, I love you"

"I love you too"

[antifaagainstapathy]

Request for hive mind input---

(And yes...starting to realize I should probably draw a stick in the sand to cut myself off from this individual)

Yesterday I asked his thoughts on Texas house bill SB 14--- the one that now bans doctors from using hormone treatments when working with children with transgender issues.

I mentioned that I spent several hours the previous Friday in the state capital building watching deliberations- without going into further detail about why I was there.

His initial response was an anti Trans article by one one of those bogus groups (political pretending to be valid medical or scientific).

I pointed out the problem with the source and provided at least 5 articles- the first based on a Stanford study?

His response?

Essentially something along the lines of "their sample size was too small...therefore it's bad science.. therefore it's meaningless "

(I'll post exact verbiage and links shortly)

A. Is this guy a little nuts or a lost cause/ full on MAGA?

B. Is there any chance of getting through at all? Or should I just cut ✂️ my losses? (Will also explain how I know him)

Ok....about to do a nearly pure copy of the conversation:

The beginning: me- if you're interested in continuing w/ the political discussion I potentially have the next topic:

https://www.texastribune.org/2023/05/12/texas-trans-kids-health-care-ban/

His response

https://acpeds.org/transgender-interventions-harm-children

Me: I suspected as much:

Him - any studies to support your side ?

Me - hundreds, how many do you need?

Him - I can't find any that are scientifically significant.

By population or duration.

Me

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2022/01/mental-health-hormone-treatment-transgender-people.html

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-the-science-on-gender-affirming-care-for-transgender-kids-really-shows/

https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/should-psychiatrists-prescribe-gender-affirming-hormone-therapy-transgender-adolescents/2016-11

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31027543/

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2022/01/15/transgender-hormone-therapy-early-start-helps-mental-health-kids/9174802002/?gnt-cfr=1

https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/should-psychiatrists-prescribe-gender-affirming-hormone-therapy-transgender-adolescents/2016-11

His comments

First study, patients are self diagnosing.

No actual objective measures

My response

Dude.....you are rejecting essentially every credible organization out there.

Carefully analyze why

You're coming across like an ignorant twat.

I think I see why you like Peterson so much...both unwilling to see science and look past what you want to see

Him

Ok, what objective measures are being used in the first study?

I truly love science and it's method, and try to keep an open mind when looking at the world.

Me

You're trying to challenge Stanford medical school? Honestly?

*** I spent nearly 3 hours in the Texas house (this past Friday) listening to debate over the bill I initially told you about....the thing that became PAINFULLY CLEAR was the fact that the gentleman who proposed the legislation has no understanding of medicine, trans issues, mental health, or the likely impact of his proposed legislation

That's 99.9% of it now

[jcmarchi]

Shaktiman Mall, Principal Product Manager, Aviatrix – Interview Series

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/shaktiman-mall-principal-product-manager-aviatrix-interview-series/

Shaktiman Mall, Principal Product Manager, Aviatrix – Interview Series

Shaktiman Mall is Principal Product Manager at Aviatrix. With more than a decade of experience designing and implementing network solutions, Mall prides himself on ingenuity, creativity, adaptability and precision. Prior to joining Aviatrix, Mall served as Senior Technical Marketing Manager at Palo Alto Networks and Principal Infrastructure Engineer at MphasiS.

Aviatrix is a company focused on simplifying cloud networking to help businesses remain agile. Their cloud networking platform is used by over 500 enterprises and is designed to provide visibility, security, and control for adapting to changing needs. The Aviatrix Certified Engineer (ACE) Program offers certification in multicloud networking and security, aimed at supporting professionals in staying current with digital transformation trends.

What initially attracted you to computer engineering and cybersecurity?

As a student, I was initially more interested in studying medicine and wanted to pursue a degree in biotechnology. However, I decided to switch to computer science after having conversations with my classmates about technological advancements over the preceding decade and emerging technologies on the horizon.

Could you describe your current role at Aviatrix and share with us what your responsibilities are and what an average day looks like?

I’ve been with Aviatrix for two years and currently serve as a principal product manager in the product organization. As a product manager, my responsibilities include building product vision, conducting market research, and consulting with the sales, marketing and support teams. These inputs combined with direct customer engagement help me define and prioritize features and bug fixes.

I also ensure that our products align with customers’ requirements. New product features should be easy to use and not overly or unnecessarily complex. In my role, I also need to be mindful of the timing for these features – can we put engineering resources toward it today, or can it wait six months? To that end, should the rollout be staggered or phased into different versions? Most importantly, what is the projected return on investment?

An average day includes meetings with engineering, project planning, customer calls, and meetings with sales and support. Those discussions allow me to get an update on upcoming features and use cases while understanding current issues and feedback to troubleshoot before a release.

What are the primary challenges IT teams face when integrating AI tools into their existing cloud infrastructure?

Based on real-world experience of integrating AI into our IT technology, I believe there are four challenges companies will encounter:

Harnessing data & integration: Data enriches AI, but when data is across different places and resources in an organization, it can be difficult to harness it properly.

Scaling: AI operations can be CPU intensive, making scaling challenging.

Training and raising awareness: A company could have the most powerful AI solution, but if employees don’t know how to use it or don’t understand it, then it will be underutilized.

Cost: For IT especially, a quality AI integration will not be cheap, and businesses must budget accordingly.

Security: Make sure that the cloud infrastructure meets security standards and regulatory requirements relevant to AI applications

How can businesses ensure their cloud infrastructure is robust enough to support the heavy computing needs of AI applications?

There are multiple factors to running AI applications. For starters, it’s critical to find the right type and instance for scale and performance.

Also, there needs to be adequate data storage, as these applications will draw from static data available within the company and build their own database of information. Data storage can be costly, forcing businesses to assess different types of storage optimization.

Another consideration is network bandwidth. If every employee in the company uses the same AI application at once, the network bandwidth needs to scale – otherwise, the application will be so slow as to be unusable. Likewise, companies need to decide if they will use a centralized AI model where computing happens in a single place or a distributed AI model where computing happens closer to the data sources.

With the increasing adoption of AI, how can IT teams protect their systems from the heightened risk of cyberattacks?

There are two main aspects to security every IT team must consider. First, how do we protect against external risks? Second, how do we ensure data, whether it is the personally identifiable information (PII) of customers or proprietary information, remains within the company and is not exposed? Businesses must determine who can and cannot access certain data. As a product manager, I need sensitive information others are not authorized to access or code.

At Aviatrix, we help our customers protect against attacks, allowing them to continue adopting technologies like AI that are essential for being competitive today. Recall network bandwidth optimization: because Aviatrix acts as the data plane for our customers, we can manage the data going through their network, providing visibility and enhancing security enforcement.

Likewise, our distributed cloud firewall (DCF) solves the challenges of a distributed AI model where data gets queried in multiple places, spanning geographical boundaries with different laws and compliances. Specifically, a DCF supports a single set of security compliance enforced across the globe, ensuring the same set of security and networking architecture is supported. Our Aviatrix Networks Architecture also allows us to identify choke points, where we can dynamically update the routing table or help customers create new connections to optimize AI requirements.

How can businesses optimize their cloud spending while implementing AI technologies, and what role does the Aviatrix platform play in this?

One of the main practices that will help businesses optimize their cloud spending when implementing AI is minimizing egress spend.

Cloud network data processing and egress fees are a material component of cloud costs. They are both difficult to understand and inflexible. These cost structures not only hinder scalability and data portability for enterprises, but also provide decreasing returns to scale as cloud data volume increases which can impact organizations’ bandwidth.

Aviatrix designed our egress solution to give the customer visibility and control. Not only do we perform enforcement on gateways through DCF, but we also do native orchestration, enforcing control at the network interface card level for significant cost savings. In fact, after crunching the numbers on egress spend, we had customers report savings between 20% and 40%.

We’re also building auto-rightsizing capabilities to automatically detect high resource utilization and automatically schedule upgrades as needed.

Lastly, we ensure optimal network performance with advanced networking capabilities like intelligent routing, traffic engineering and secure connectivity across multi-cloud environments.

How does Aviatrix CoPilot enhance operational efficiency and provide better visibility and control over AI deployments in multicloud environments?

Aviatrix CoPilot’s topology view provides real-time network latency and throughput, allowing customers to see the number of VPC/VNets. It also displays different cloud resources, accelerating problem identification. For example, if the customer sees a latency issue in a network, they will know which assets are getting affected. Also, Aviatrix CoPilot helps customers identify bottlenecks, configuration issues, and improper connections or network mapping. Furthermore, if a customer needs to scale up one of its gateways into the node to accommodate more AI capabilities, Aviatrix CoPilot can automatically detect, scale, and upgrade as necessary.

Can you explain how dynamic topology mapping and embedded security visibility in Aviatrix CoPilot assist in real-time troubleshooting of AI applications?

Aviatrix CoPilot’s dynamic topology mapping also facilitates robust troubleshooting capabilities. If a customer must troubleshoot an issue between different clouds (requiring them to understand where traffic was getting blocked), CoPilot can find it, streamlining resolution. Not only does Aviatrix CoPilot visualize network aspects, but it also provides security visualization components in the form of our own threat IQ, which performs security and vulnerability protection. We help our customers map the networking and security into one comprehensive visualization solution.

We also help with capacity planning for both cost with costIQ, and performance with auto right sizing and network optimization.

How does Aviatrix ensure data security and compliance across various cloud providers when integrating AI tools?

AWS and its AI engine, Amazon Bedrock, have different security requirements from Azure and Microsoft Copilot. Uniquely, Aviatrix can help our customers create an orchestration layer where we can automatically align security and network requirements to the CSP in question. For example, Aviatrix can automatically compartmentalize data for all CSPs irrespective of APIs or underlying architecture.

It is important to note that all of these AI engines are inside a public subnet, which means they have access to the internet, creating additional vulnerabilities because they consume proprietary data. Thankfully, our DCF can sit on a public and private subnet, ensuring security. Beyond public subnets, it can also sit across different regions and CSPs, between data centers and CSPs or VPC/VNets and even between a random site and the cloud. We establish end-to-end encryption across VPC/VNets and regions for secure transfer of data. We also have extensive auditing and logging for tasks performed on the system, as well as integrated network and policy with threat detection and deep packet inspection.

What future trends do you foresee in the intersection of AI and cloud computing, and how is Aviatrix preparing to address these trends?

I see the interaction of AI and cloud computing birthing incredible automation capabilities in key areas such as networking, security, visibility, and troubleshooting for significant cost savings and efficiency.

It could also analyze the different types of data entering the network and recommend the most suitable policies or security compliances. Similarly, if a customer needed to enforce HIPAA, this solution could scan through the customer’s networks and then recommend a corresponding strategy.

Troubleshooting is a major investment because it requires a call center to assist customers. However, most of these issues don’t necessitate human intervention.

Generative AI (GenAI) will also be a game changer for cloud computing. Today, a topology is a day-zero decision – once an architecture or networking topology gets built, it is difficult to make changes. One potential use case I believe is on the horizon is a solution that could recommend an optimal topology based on certain requirements. Another problem that GenAI could solve is related to security policies, which quickly become outdated after a few years. AGenAI solution could help users routinely create new security stacks per new laws and regulations.

Aviatrix can implement the same security architecture for a datacenter with our edge solution, given that more AI will sit close to the data sources. We can help connect branches and sites to the cloud and edge with AI computes running.

We also help in B2B integration with different customers or entities in the same company with separate operating models.

AI is driving new and exciting computing trends that will impact how infrastructure is built. At Aviatrix, we’re looking forward to seizing the moment with our secure and seamless cloud networking solution.

Thank you for the great interview, readers who wish to learn more should visit Aviatrix. 

[libraryofcirclaria]

14 September 1281

Library of Circlaria

Third Level Society: First Version

Story Six: Meona Bell

It's a shame that Carter had to leave when he did, but I got to watch in person as Headmaster James Lach gave concession and decided not to go against Mary Kormann's academic file.

Classes have basically stopped at this point; and the students have been simply sitting in the hallways and on the sidewalks. They weren't violent. They weren't even chanting. Just sitting. Very little effort but very effective. And I guess the Treasurer informed the Headmaster the daily cost to the University resulting from this. So the Headmaster caved.

I never was very content with Martin Cross as the Headmaster at the time when I was at the University. I loved the first Headmaster, Thomas Snow, and was quite disappointed when Martin Cross traditionalized the curriculum here, and not to mention, added those additional buildings, which I still call ugly.

But at least Cross made an effort to justify himself as someone competent.

This individual, James Lach, is not even that. Cross endorsed him when he retired back in 1279, I hear. But it seems to me that Lach is simply not doing his job. He has secretaries and advisors telling him what to do; and he does it...without question or providing input.

I draw this from other people complaining about him. But what made me quite furious at his complacency was when I read an article in the Flagstaff regarding the Global Academy of North Circlaria...I believe that is what the organization is named...In any case, the Global Academy is a franchise having purchased schools, both grade and college, all throughout Circlaria, and have forced those schools to adopt their curriculum, which heavily banks on the old "lecture and drill model."

Cabotton University never signed a contract to be acquired directly by the Academy; it's forbidden in the University Constitution. However, the University Council under Martin Cross in 1278 voted narrowly in favor of accepting contracts to have Academy curriculum included in core classes offered at the University. I'm not clear how exactly this works but it was certainly unpopular with the students, both those who supported Cross and those who opposed him.

One of the Hobbes School professors, someone named Marlan Rohrbough, was planning to run against James Lach for becoming the next University Headmaster. However, Martin Cross and James Lach had compared Rohrbough's support for the South Kindol Educators' Union to being one of the notorious revolutionary leaders having toppled the old government of Notulfa and established it as an autocratic regime back in 1213.

This comparison was obviously ludicrous. All the Educators' Union wants is fair pay and curricular freedom from the Global Academy. Of course, the owners of the Academy, all of which are bankers not even closely associated with the field of academics, are not interested.

Regardless, the present Headmaster, James Lach, had promised to roll back on the Academy-curriculum inclusions and restore the original implemented by Cabotton since the days of Martin Cross. But not only did he fail to do that, apparently someone from the Global Academy coerced Lach into completely eliminating the original research alternative in the capstone courses.

In any case, I am tired. And tomorrow is a long day.

<- 13 September 1281 <- || -> 21 September 1281 ->

[acourtofmishapandmistakes]

Do you support AI art?

That's a very complicated question, and one that I don't want to avoid answering given that it's a very real and present debate right now.

In short, no, I don't personally support AI-generated art as it currently stands.

While I'm open to the idea of using AI as a tool to enhance learning and creativity and generally believe that the increasing use of AI can create a more accessible world, I feel that AI art, in its present form, operates with too few restrictions. I’ll be the first to admit that I haven't done extensive research into all the nuances of the debate. However, as fast as AI is advancing, I believe we need to have open conversations about it and be willing to learn. Based solely on what I've seen and read—particularly from artists who have spoken out on this issue—I believe AI-generated art, at this point, can be harmful. AI often relies on existing artworks as input, producing works that utilize techniques or styles of actual creators without giving proper credit or compensation to the source material. This strikes me as deeply unethical and is something I'm growing increasingly concerned about.

I also want to acknowledge upfront that I'm likely guilty of sharing AI-generated art unintentionally in the past. I’ve been making an effort to be more mindful and seek out sources for the art that I share, so I can directly support the artists rather than contributing to algorithms that can exploit them.

I understand that AI has made it much easier for people to bring their fantasies and dreams to life, which is fantastic. The ability to visualize complex and imaginative ideas more easily than ever is a significant advantage, especially for those who may not have the financial means to commission an artist directly. However, this often comes at the expense of creators, whose work is being used without permission or compensation to fuel these AI visions. This raises serious ethical concerns about the origins of these works and the impact it has on the creative community. I see it as a double-edged sword—imagination becomes more accessible, but at the cost of the artist. Personally, I avoid using AI art altogether, choosing to support artists over the instant gratification that AI might provide. That said, I’m not one to judge or blacklist someone who uses AI, as long as they’re not reposting and claiming the art as their own.

I also recognize that AI can be a useful tool for artists, particularly when it comes to generating reference images for body proportions, poses, or movements—things that can be difficult to find through a simple Google search. I know a few artists who have used AI art generators for this specific purpose as they continue to learn and grow. I don't feel it’s my place to decide whether this is right or wrong. For many growing artists, AI can serve as a valuable resource in developing their skills. As AI technology evolves, I can see it becoming a powerful teaching aid, potentially helping artists refine their craft in ways that weren’t possible before. However, at this point, I believe AI art is doing more harm than good.

I’ve definitely seen AI art that has left me in awe of its composition and detail. However, I remind myself that this art was created by drawing upon the work of someone real, living, and working—often without their permission. This makes the issue feel morally complex and, frankly, a bit uncomfortable.

Ultimately, this is a complicated issue and a moral dilemma that we all need to grapple with. I don't denounce those who use or appreciate AI-generated art, but given my very limited understanding of the full scope of the debate, I feel it isn’t my place to make definitive judgments. As I continue to learn more, I hope to develop a more nuanced perspective and back up my views with solid research. For now, these are my messy, complicated feelings.

If you're interested in exploring this topic further, here are some articles discussing the ethical implications of AI that I've read in the past: