#and support groups are a decent way to do that but i have complicated feelings on twelve step programs

[sirsparklepants]

Concept: Colossus does art therapy with Logan post movie

[razorblade180]

Captain Catch Up

Aether:It’s been a while since we got together like this. What’s the occasion?

Keqing:It’s important to touch base every so often. I’m sure a few of us have things worth mentioning? For example, How’s Lyney?

Amber:I passed his training awhile ago. He’s pretty tenacious, although he still has a few things to iron out. Him and Dehya seem to get along pretty well though.

Kokomi:I’ve actually appreciated her progress a lot when it comes to supporting Miko. Nahida has given her high marks as well.

Klee:She’s very nice to me! I don��t get hurt as much.

Aether:Well Chongyun, it sounds like you’ve trained another talent.

Hu Tao:Oh brother, don’t praise him too much. He will go from blue to red in no time. Also, what’s one or two good eggs under his wing.

Chongyun:One or two? There’s three at this table! You’re one of them!

Ayaka:You do good work.

Ganyu:Thank you for your efforts. How’s Freminet coming along?

Chongyun:He’s really hardworking. Truthfully,there’s not too much to really show him aside from team building.

Yanfei:Let’s address the elephant in the room shall we? Do we think anyone should be promoted to Captain? We’ve gained so many new friends and they’ve all got talent. I’m sure a certain someone in here would like to stop being the newest member.

Wanderer: Don’t really care either way. I’m sitting here right now because it’s mandatory.

Aether:I thought you’d be happier. This is technically your first meeting. You’ve escaped it for a decent time.

Wanderer: I don’t see the point in this. It’s not like we aren’t constantly crossing paths one way or another. My work speaks for itself. As well as my thoughts on who I see as…useful.

Yoimiya:Aw, is that your way of saying Faruzan is great? You gave her a crown! You two might as well be a dynamic duo. A trio if we include Diona.

Wanderer:No comment.

Amber:Lyney isn’t ready yet, but I’ll keep an eye out.

Yoimiya:He needs a few more laps around the block for sure.

Ganyu:It kinda sounds like you two are just gatekeeping pyro archery…

Keqing:I nominate Nilou.

Everyone:Ooooo

Keqing:It only makes sense. I constantly have to coordinate with her on who got to call on which dendro user during events or abyss. Not to mention the blatant fact she has pushed beyond simply performing her niche.

Ayaka:She is constantly going back in forth with my brother. And now that Furina and Yelan are here…

Yanfei:She’s always on a roll. It really wasn’t a lie whenever she said “Every hydro and dendro has a home and forwards her ideas.”

Kokomi:I nominate her as well.

Aether:Well if there’s no objections?

Everyone raises their hands and claps three times.

Keqing:Good. I’ll tell her the news. Now speaking of Furina…

Aether:I can’t let her have the satisfaction of progressing this fast.

Hu Tao:Ha! You’re so petty.

Yoimiya:I haven’t spent the most time with her but I’ve seen Noelle recently and noticed the healers in our group really giving it their all. I think she’s earned the ego boost.

Yanfei:She’s kinda crazy Aether. I was putting up numbers.

Klee:Same!!! It’s been sooo long! I’d always call for her if she wasn’t so busy.

Ganyu:She is certainly popular. Honestly it might be better for her to stay on calm instead of being a Captain. It’s why Nahida is where she is; happily on call.

Aether:I can’t argue with that.

Chongyun:It’s not like you aren’t going to give her crown. Why act calm now?

Aether:It’s complicated. Also I think it would be criminal not to mention both Charlotte and Lynette have found comfortable footing.

Wanderer:Boasting about your own teaching?

Aether:No one’s humble all the time. Anyways, I’m sure Furina will come is wondering herself about her progress. It pretty apparent how much she’s shaken things up. I’ll talk to her.

Keqing:If nobody else has anything to mention, we can call it? I don’t want to keep you all too long.

Chongyun:Who’s Navia training under?

Hu Tao:More importantly, what if she’s good enough for Captain? Poor little Noelle might feel some type of way.

Amber:Noelle has two crowns. Although you do have a point? Maybe have Navia shadow under her for the time being? She’ll learn the ropes and it’s a new leadership role for Noelle. I bet those two will get along.

Ayaka:Isn’t that a little risky to put two people so alike together in that situation.

Amber:I trained Lyney

Chongyun:I trained you.

Hu Tao:One of you was clearly a little agitated and the other try turning in their resignation and thought they were being replaced.

Chongyun and Amber: That’s neither here nor there.

[thesingingrevolution]

the way winwin carefully scheduled his year around the wayv comeback but sm suddenly switched the comeback dates up on him and he ended up not being able to participate ... and THEN he cant make it to the versache event cus he has to talk all of this out w the company.

yunquis r so strong... i would not be able to deal fr. how do u do it???

first of all thanks for your message 🙇🏻‍♀️💌

personally, i felt so upset and disappointed when the news broke :( it was bad enough it was gonna be an ot5 comeback, but when it was revealed it was because sm changed their pre planned schedule it made me angry. i understand that winwin has other important activities and if it was his own choice to sit this one out, i would have respected his decision and happily supported the other five members. but the fact that he went out of his way to ensure his schedule would align and they couldn’t even respect that.. it made me really sad. as far as we know, there is no reason this comeback had to me moved up. they just did it. and i’ve never seen anything like it, how can a company not respect their artist in this incredibly basic way? it’s heartbreaking.

i wish winwin stays in nct because i truly love him and i love his friendships in the group and his contributions etc etc but stuff like this makes me wish more and more than he only does what he needs to do for his career and happiness, regardless of how we feel. these transgressions are too serious in my opinion, to the point that when wayv were promoting on my youth during the last few months of 2023 as a proper group it almost felt like a fever dream. a full group promoting a comeback together should not be a rare occurrence. it’s so so so sad and wayv as a whole deserve so much better. the fact that i felt absolutely no excitement over this cb and haven’t even looked at concept pics or listened to any songs says so much. i will eventually, but it hurts right now :( i will need some time to get over this. not the fault of any of the members, of course!!! will always love and wish then the best.

moreover i hate that this feeds into the idea that winwin doesn’t care about his group. it’s such a common sentiment in the (toxic/misinformed/immature) parts of the fandom. if anything, winwin’s actions and deliberate desire to partake in the cb tells us the EXACT OPPOSITE. if he didn’t care, he clearly wouldn’t have gone through the trouble. like you’ve said, it’s causing more issues for him. so why would he do it if he didn’t care? i’m glad some clarifying posts went semi viral, and there was a decent amount of outrage. rightfully so.

as for how i do it….. my friend,, it’s not easy. to be honest, i have had periods where it wasn’t good for me (last summer, for example, i had so much free time to dedicate to kpop and it started affecting my mental health when i saw my fav neglected and disrespected all the time). thankfully i am better now and have been for a long time, it’s really embarrassing to admit kpop can mess one up like that lol but i hope people can be honest about how they feel since it’s very real in my experience. i try not too think about it too much and keep busy with other things, i took a huge step back from stan twitter and i only follow a few yunqi accs who post updates/positivity and don’t engage in fanwars and spread aggression across the internet. as for his company, it’s a bit more complicated. i feel as though his potential has never been fully realized, which is sad for a seasoned idol so many years into his career. but it also gives him so much space to grow, every now and then i am so surprised by his incredible work in other areas, because he was held back so much. i am so glad there are people who recognize his potential <3

i also try to remember that even though i love nct and its a huge part of my life, it’s just music and no matter what happens things will be alright. we will always have the good times and memories and that makes me feel better when i get upset. lastly, i learned to primarily focus on my own friends and my own thoughts. just last night, i told a friend i love winwin the most and she said she likes him and that he suits me as a bias. all my irl kpop stan friends have been nothing but supportive and sweet. and in my own head, winwin is the best, i dont have to think about his company and random people online to hold that opinion, and at the end of the day my thoughts are the only ones that really matter when it comes to this.

i’m sorry this is so long hahahha, but hopefully it explains a little about how i feel about all this!! once again thank you for your message 💖

[nightingaletrash]

So what's the tea between Alistair and Solana? Why'd he leave her?

Well it mostly comes down to the whole 'putting Loghain through the Joining' thing.

Solana carried around a decent amount of guilt over the consequences of her actions in her origin, with Lilly being imprisoned in Aeonar and Jowan's poisoning of Eamon which led to Connor's whole deal. Rationally, she knew that shit was going to hit the fan no matter what she did, but as she accomplishes more and more as a Warden, it forces her to wonder if things really were that inevitable. Maybe if she'd fought harder, backed Jowan up more readily, they could have escaped without him resorting to blood magic. Or maybe she should have accepted the inevitability of the situation and just told Irving about the plan.

Either way, she carries an increasing sense of guilt that doesn't really lessen after she lets Jowan flee Redcliffe. So she buckles down on what Duncan taught her - that Grey Wardens do what they must, no matter how ugly, if it means stopping the Blight. So she gets her hands dirty working with Bhelen, she recruits every stripe of person and being that comes her way, and she always chooses what is best for Ferelden and not for herself.

Alistair, therefore, is a bit of an exception. He was someone with whom she felt safe and happy, where she wasn't just a mage or a Warden, just Solana. And that meant the entire world to her. It was the one concession she allowed herself to have against the Wardens, against inevitability.

But she knew how badly Alistair didn't want to be King, and wanted to try and find a work around for him so that his nightmare wouldn't have to come true. So imagine her luck when she's rescued Anora, freed from Fort Drakon, and is asked to have a private word with the Queen; Anora offers an alliance where Solana supports her bid for the throne, and asks that - if possible - she spare Loghain's life. It's not ideal, but Solana agrees that should Loghain stand down, she'll spare his life.

Now, Solana called a group meeting to tell the others about the arrangement, but Eamon insists that he needs to talk some things through with Alistair before the Landsmeet and so he's absent when the others discuss it. Meaning he's completely horrified when Solana not only spares Loghain, but acquiesces to Riordan's recommendation to make him a Warden.

And suddenly there's a hard line drawn in the sand - either she can be a lover and go against her deal with Anora to do as Alistair wishes, or be a Warden and uphold Duncan's principle that Wardens do as they must, not as they please.

And Solana chooses to be a Warden.

It wasn't something she did lightly. In fact, it was the hardest choice she'd made by tht point, and she even begged him not to leave. But he did anyway, leaving both of them heartbroken.

But Solana still carries a torch for Alistair. She put her foot down with Anora over the prospect of an execution, and now she searches for a cure for the Calling, not for herself and the Wardens, but for him. That the rest of them could be cured is simply a side benefit. She knows that she hurt him deeply and that he'll never forgive her, but if she can cure his Calling, then maybe he can at least live without an inevitable doom hanging over his head. And that alone would be enough for her.

As for how Alistair feels... I haven't quite decided yet. Still hurting, still yearning. Not able to forgive her, but not able to forget her either.

It's complicated for him, and quite simple for her, so all in all, it's very messy.

[mwebber]

rambling stream of consciousness introspection

idk if this is self-triggering but a thought i've been having lately is that i'm just so bored of food. like you know in france or whatever how people have this like glorious relationship with their meals where they'll be rlly cognizant of all the ingredients and all the flavour profiles and shit and idk if it's even real, right. but it sounds like they're actively paying attention?

anyway i've been trying out that method and like taking my time to cultivate a healthier relationship with nutrition that isn't just "oh i need this food group so i don't get scurvy" or whatever. and i've always had a complicated love-hate situationship with anything i eat so it's been kind of hard to not try and remove Myself from the Action Of Consuming Food. but i think regardless i'm just flopping majorly at it. i'll have a couple bites of whatever sandwich du jour is cheapest and it'll literally just be a sandwich. is this just part of my bummer summer flop era or like am i doing something wrong when it comes to Living?

i've also been feeling uncharacteristically insecure as of late and i suspect that all of this is related in some weird mental way. like there's normal levels of self-loathing where like, yeah, i think i'm evil incarnate and deserve to choke for eternity, but really the last couple weeks it's been alarmingly off the charts. i'm not even horny it's so bad all my guilty daydreams are just about hugs and being hugged and giving hugs. it's really been harshing my groove bc i'm trying to like, WRITE, and BE CREATIVE, and instead of putting new stuff on the page or feeling any inspiration at all i just keep critiquing what i've already written or done. managed to pull myself away from the suicidal precipice again for the time being but i hate that i'm always standing on the yellow platform. like life is so beautiful and i'm successful and work hard and i'm hot enough to flirt with random people and i'm lucky to have enough savings to support my caffeine addiction and i have a decent social life and the future is really bright. so it's like bitch. why the fuck do you feel SAD! shut up for real! anyway. i'm gonna continue reflecting on things and trying to be at peace with myself.

[hydrogenandhelium]

I’m looking for a fantasy writing group. Discord based is great! I’ve never been in one before and online seems a great way to try it out. But if anyone knows about a group local to the SE Houston suburbs (Webster/Friendswood/Clearlake or surrounding areas) PLEASE let me know! Drop it in my DMs or an ask (which I won’t post) if you don’t want it posted up publicly. I can’t promise I’m good at storytelling but I do understand story structure and am decent with grammar so my work (hopefully) isn’t painful to read.

The book I’m working on is a fantasy with a hard magic system, and the story aims to explore ideas around consent—namely who can give it and the consequences of imbalances caused by social power dynamics. That means that my work will come with trigger warnings. There is absolutely no gratuitous SA (it gives me major ick to read it, no way I could write it), but even still I’d need a group where I’d have a space to share some SA and SA-adjacent writing (sex where consent can’t truly be given, and one scene with “normal” violence as a result of saying no, all shared with appropriate warnings ofc) and get honest feedback. If you happen to know of a good group I’d love an invite!

Below the cut is a few things I’d really like to put into the void so I don’t feel like I’m the only one carrying them:

I asked for a raise today at work. I’ve never asked for a raise at a “big kid” job before today so I was anxious as FUCK. I really do deserve it though, I’ve taken on a lot of extra work (I probably should do a post about my job sometime, it’s super cool, I’m a space microbiologist) and my direct supervisor is supporting my request. I asked high, but I’m sure I’ll get a bump even if it’s not what I asked for. I’ll update with the results if anyone seems invested (or honestly even if I just feel like it)

Moving far away from home in your 30s is tough. It’s hard to find new friends when almost everyone you know has families and that’s just not your jam. Like I have friends at work and we goof off and have fun and go for lunch and talk about real life too, but then I come home and every night and all weekend it’s just me by myself. I have made one friend here outside of work but that situation is a little complicated right now and it’s forcing me to realize I should broaden my social circle. Thats partly why with the writing group. I need some motivation to keep writing and I’d love the opportunity to meet new people and maybe not feel so isolated. I mean I’m still in regular contact with some of my friends back home. I don’t feel like no one cares about me, I just feel like I’m not getting enough in-person socializing. It’s weird being an introvert and realizing that even though social interaction is exhausting, it’s still pretty damn essential for my mental health.

I dunno. Any potential interest in hearing about the book I’m working on? I guess I could post the blurb from my NaNoWriMo page. I have the main plot written and am working on the B and C story scenes now. Probably at least 60% through draft 1.

[average-guy-reviews]

Femstival by LEMAN Day 2

28th April 2024

After a very successful first day of Femstival I was invited back to day 2. I went into this day without any knowledge of the artists involved, unlike day 1. I was extremely intrigued as to what I was going to be hearing, and the styles of music I'd be listening to.

Back in Sotto, which is a fabulous little venue, I settled in and prepared for the show.

Zara Smile

This is a young woman who, to me at least, had vocals that had an essence of Brit Pop entangled with a little Lily Allen and a young Alanis Morrisette. Her lyrical style shows a really strong sense of storytelling, using her own personal struggles in a way that is, at times, intensely emotional and certainly resonated with this particular listener.

Her playing style has a power that is in stark contrast with her physical stature, and the dichotomy of power and size combines to create a superb young artists. For such a powerful young storyteller I am more than certain that she has an interesting musical future.

Rose Greenwood

With a chilled, ethereal vibe Rose brings a warmth to the stage with music that tells tales, but more so evokes images of quiet passion. It's music to watch a sunrise to, with a warm cocoa in hand and your closest friends by your side. It feels good.

Rose's style is a relaxed one that makes it seem like she is completely, and with ease, at home on the stage. She draws the audience into her musical world, and because of this we can relax into the music without any issues or complications.

Eleanor

Smooth vocals over a gentle guitar work together with strong lyrics to create an artists I could listen to on a regular basis...without any fear of getting bored. In some of her songs her vocal 'swops', from her lower range right up to her higher are really smooth. It's a heck an ability to keep that kind of thing as smooth as she does and it's really quite special to hear.

As an artist it can be hard to create short art, be it movies or music, and have it make sense, or feel complete. Eleanor does this with style, and hits a lot of emotional points in songs that are incredibly easy to listen to.

Shannon Gillespie

Of all the acts so far, (as I wrote my notes at least) Shannon is the first one that wouldn't feel out of place on stage in Nashville. As a fan of country music Shannon's style really worked well for me. Within it though I did, at times, also hear elements of groups like Sixpence None The Richer.

Powerful vocals, on top of lyrical intensity, brings out a force on stage that the audience seems to really like, and definitely seemed to connect with. Shannon is a strong confident performer and it is utterly clear that she loves what she does.

Sophie Mac

On stage she specifically described herself as not being a singer or a guitarist, and yet what I watched on stage tells a very different story. She absolutely is a performer, but she is performer of her own past and her own pain. I have to say that while she was singing there was something about her vocals, the trills and wavers, that drove emotional needles right into my heart, and just....wow! It made me speechless and anyone that knows me knows how big a deal that is.

In her own words her set is based on depressing songs, but her personality is such that between songs you are able to rise above the mire to a much happier place. Sophie also does rap/spoken singing sections in some of her songs, and it adds another level to an already deep well of awesome.

In all honesty Sophie's set was by far the loudest, from an audience perspective. This is because a lot of people had come to Sotto in support of her, from friends, family and work colleagues. The venue felt full with the size of the crowd by the time her set started. As part of her set she stepped off stage so that a young lady, inspired by her, had a chance to sing a song. This was a really decent thing for her to do and the young lady in question did a really great job.

Overall

Day 2 of Femstival was a superb show and Mel Price should be rightly proud of what she has arranged, and of all the work she put into this and all of her other shows she works on. Every artist for this day was genuinely so talented and deserves all the recognition. It is good to see that the future of female independent music is as strong as this two day event has show it is. If you get the chance to check out any of the artists from day 1 and 2 on your streaming service then please do, and help support independent music.

Also check out LEMAN (Liverpool Entertainment, Music and Art Network) on all social media for further information about upcoming gigs they are supporting and running.

[esevik]

Book review: Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

My liveblog of the book.

Short review: I didn't "click" with this book.

Long review: This book is about a virus that causes every (human) with "high" testosterone value to turn into mindless beasts that kill and eat pretty much anything they get their hands on. The story follows two trans women who try to survive in this world by hunting for estrogen and avoiding an army of terfs/transphobes. The concept of the story is really good and unlike most stories that causes something horrible to happen to one gender this one remembers that gender is more complicated than just man-woman. However besides that the plot falls into the usual tropes of trying to survive in an apocalyptic world. The new-men-beasts were pretty much only relevant at the start of the book and then fell into the background to focus on the terf stuff. Which is fine, but not really the draw of the book. B+

The worldbuilding is decent. There is some details to make the virus sound reasonably believable and the areas the characters visited got enough detail to give the reader an idea of what it looked like. However some places they spent a lot of time in (like the "bunker" and Fort Dyke) feel like it could have gotten a bit more "overall" descriptions. Sometimes it was a bit difficult to understand how characters moved around in the buildings since pretty much only the individual rooms seemed to have gotten descriptions and I had no idea how they connected to one another. B

The main group of characters were well-written and believable. However the side/background characters need some work. It happened several time that a random character was introduced, did one thing, and then disappeared for the rest of the story. Then most of the supporting cast felt like blank slates. The main characters were supposedly living with these people for a longer time but barely any interaction is shown in the story so these characters remain as blank slates. I should also mention that while I myself isn't trans from what I've seen trans people say it seems the trans representation is good. There are a lot of different trans people who all look and embrace their gender identity in their own ways. There is something that do bother me a bit about this and it's that with pretty much only one exception everyone seems to be able to spot a trans woman right away. Two random background characters can as an example get the description 'two women, one cis and one trans' without saying why the point of view character assumes one of them is trans. It just kind of bothers me when the book is all about characters breaking the traditional gender binary but then presumably uses a variation of it for background characters. Somehow everyone except terfs seems to know people's gender identity and never missgender anyone. It just strikes me as odd. B

The writing is fine though I have some issues with it. First of all it uses several references to current popular and meme culture which as dates stories. It feels like it was written for a very specific audience and they'll probably like it. The writing is also pretty vulgar(?) with lots of descriptions of gore and sex, sometimes it can take the tension out of a scene. There's also some pacing issues towards the end. B-

Rating: B

[lionheartslowstart]

When I Look At Him

A few months ago, my partner “Thomas” and I had to stop by the house of a friend of mine in order to pick up a piece of furniture. The trip was uneventful enough, but something changed once we actually arrived at the house.

You see, this friend of mine, as well as their partner, are still friends with my ex, “Kevin.” I don’t have a problem with this. Or rather, I don’t have enough of a problem with this to reconsider our friendship. My friend and their partner are good people, and I enjoy their company. At the time, my ex’s brother was also living with my friend and their partner. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t have been an issue for me. My ex’s brother and I are on decent terms. We’re not close, like we used to be, but we’re solid. In fact, he was the one I was picking the furniture up from.

However, on this day, it was a problem. It was a problem because there I was, in a house I hadn’t been in since Kevin and I had been together, with one of Kevin’s best friends, and his brother. (To make matters worse, my friend wasn’t even home at the time.) And I just...couldn’t handle that. I wasn’t prepared. To be fair, I wasn’t prepared because I didn’t think I’d have a reason to be. Like I said, I have a good relationship with Kevin’s brother, and I have a good relationship with my friend’s partner too. Moreover, up until that point, I had been dealing with the breakup very well. That includes all of the drama involving his friend group. Even when I was upset, I was more angry than anything else, and I held my head up high throughout. I don’t know how, but I guess I just pushed all of the Kevin-related trauma to the very back of my mind. Even a few weeks before this, my best friend said to me, 

“Sophie, you have a lot of Kevin trauma you’re not dealing with.” 

“Yeah, probably.”

“So you need to deal with it.”

“Nah.”

And that was the extent to which I had discussed, or even thought about any kind of Kevin-trauma for a long time since the immediate aftermath.

But then I was at that house. And something snapped.

On the ride back home, I broke down. Thomas was concerned, albeit confused, and didn’t know what to do. I explained how I was feeling and Thomas comforted me to the best of his ability. But the damage was done. The lid to Pandora’s box had been lifted, and there was no way to replace it.

Since then, I’ve had frequent nightmares and flashbacks. I’ve recovered several more memories I wish I hadn’t. I’ve thought about Kevin much more than I would like. It feels like I’m reprocessing that relationship all over again, but much more in depth, and with a lot less control. (I’ve been to my friend’s house since, and it hasn’t caused any problems. I think it was just that first time going that unlocked something, since I hadn’t been there since I was still seeing Kevin.)

Thomas has been incredibly supportive. He listens to me when I need to talk about it, and he comforts me when I start flashbacking. As always, he’s a wonderful partner, and he tries to do what he can.

Part of this process, apparently has been rewatching old videos of Kevin and me, and going through old photos. I’m not sure why, maybe because I avoided doing it for a whole year? Apparently it’s something I need to do. Every couple of weeks, the urge strikes, and pull up his photo album in my phone. (I haven’t been able to delete it yet, sue me.)

So what do I feel when I look at Kevin? When I listen to his voice?

The short answer? Anger. The long answer is much more complicated.

I need to preface this by saying I’m not in love with Kevin anymore. That ship sailed a long time ago, even before I formally ended things with him. I would say sometime in May of 2021.

Despite the fact that those romantic feelings are long gone, looking at his face, listening to him talk through the speaker in my phone, it’s painful. It hurts in a way I don’t think I’ve truly experienced before.

I loved that man. With all my heart, with all my soul, with every fiber of my being. I made excuses for him over and over and over again. I lied to my friends and family about how badly he treated me. I gave him everything I had and I still gave him more even after I was drained dry. I would have done anything for him.

And how did he repay me? By abusing me for almost five years. By invalidating me, triggering me, belittling me, gaslighting me, minimizing me, dismissing me, and essentially bullying me, at every turn, every chance he got. At one point it even got physical when he threw me into a door. And still I made excuses for him. I stayed with him, because he kept telling me one day he’d be ready. One day he’d be ready to do the self-work. One day he’d be ready to start a future with me. One day he’d be ready to treat me the way I deserved. One day he’d be ready to love me.

That day never came.

So when I look at this man-child, when I hear his voice, all I can think is: “You could have been the one.”

And he could have been. If he had loved me enough. If he had been willing to compromise, or do even a quarter of the work I was doing. I wasted five years of my life on someone who never ever even for a second intended on actually being a true partner, let alone for life.

I will never in my life understand why I wasn’t good enough for him to do that work. Why he felt the need to drag me down, instead of pulling himself up, in the words of one of my close friends.

That’s where the pain comes in. And the anger.

Of course, I know it wasn’t me at the end of the day. Kevin did the same thing to his ex before me, and I’m sure he’ll do the same with his next relationship (though I doubt there will be another one for quite some time). Kevin’s a narcissist. I have yet to meet a single person who disagrees with me, including some of his friends. Plus, I wrote a different blog post just a few weeks ago, about how Thomas completely changed for me, and I didn’t even realize it. And when I asked Thomas why was I the person you changed for, Thomas only said, “I knew you were worth it.”

Like I said, I haven’t loved Kevin in quite some time. If he showed up at my door crying and begging for another chance, swearing he’d changed, I’d straight up laugh in his face. Even if it were true. There’s no undoing the damage, the trauma, he caused. I’ll give someone I care about a million and one chances. But once I’m done, I’m really done.

Unfortunately, no amount of self-reassurance, comfort, or even truth, can change the rage and pain I feel. Kevin could have been the one, if he had wanted to be. That will always be true. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he wasn’t. I’m with someone now who treats me like a god dammed queen, and I couldn’t ask for a better partner. Even so, the fact that Kevin made the choice he did still haunts me. As do many of the abusive things he said and did. It’s going to take time for me to process and come to terms with all of this, and I have to accept that, even if I don’t want to.

I finally deleted Kevin’s voicemails today. That was a huge victory for me. At least that’s something.

[fireemblems24]

It's weird because 3 Houses showed 4 unique perspectives on Fodlan, but this one only has 2 - Edelgard's and AG's.

More below the cut obviously :)

Claude admits that he's untrustworthy, that he purposefully comes across that way. If it's racism, then it's racism in the writing of Claude's character and not specific to AG/Blue Lions. Who, by the way, have no problem with Cyril, Dedue, Shamir, Hapi, or Petra - so darker skinned, foreigners, and even Almyrans aren't a problem. Claude is a problem.

To be fair, the game never drags Dimitri for killing Rufus. They did everything they could to make it as justified as it could possibly be - civil war, attempted murder, abuse, refusal to communicate, etc . . . It's just Dimitri struggling with killing a family member, which would be OOC for him not to.

I was kind of bummed that Hopes confirmed that Patricia was so evil. I wanted her to have more complications to her actions, even though the most straight-forward and obvious answer is the one we got. I do wish we had a decent mother-daughter relationship (because, yeah, Sothis-Rhea is yikes, even in Houses where Sothis comes across a lot better). This game ignores motherhood in general, which wouldn't be so obvious if it didn't have so many detailed father-child relationships explored.

The trust Shez in AG vs not trust Shez in SB definitely feels deliberate. Edelgard doesn't trust anyone, but Dimitri doesn't have that issue, so it's fine. For Shez, though, it's obviously better to have allies that trust you and don't make everything about you into your mysterious power, so AG for the win. I agree with your other comment about how Faerghus culture would definitely promote tighter friendships and friend groups, and that's def reflected in the writing.

OMG, the recruitment for Shamir in SB is so wild. Especially later when the Empire has to face the possibility of fighting Catherine and Shamir's just "shrugs." It would've been fine since colder merc, ok, I can role with that, but she literally only joins Edelgard under extreme duress and to rescue Catherine. It's so bizarre. I generally don't have a problem with Shamir or her recruitment, but in SB it's really bad.

I'm guessing you mean that Claude-Dimitri conversation? I knew that line would upset some people, but it didn't me as much. Religion shouldn't have any sort of political authority. Fodlan games are wildly inconsistent with how much CoS has, but any at all is bad, and I'd want any leader not to embrace them having too much power, esp Dimitri because it must suck to feel like he's obligated to another institution regardless of how good/bad it is. I don't think Dimitri blames Rhea for arranged marriages and racism like Claude does and clearly doesn't think getting rid of her will fix human nature (or else why would he protect her? He never mistrusts her either). But they didn't have time for Dimitri go to, well I agree with this and this and this and not this and this and this and 95% of people don't want to read that anyways. I think Dimitri's the ONLY leader with a balanced outlook on the church. He acknowledges and sees first-hand the good it does, doesn't use Rhea as a scapegoat bc he fails to grasp nuance, understands how necessary it is (right now) for the mental wellbeing of his people, but also believes it could use some reform. That seems pretty fair. Because the writing is so unfair towards the Church, then it comes across way, way worse and harsher than it would if Rhea/the CoS got supports or their own route like SS.

You know, I didn't think about that at all about Miklan's mother. My guess, and this is only a guess, is that the vast majority of people with power in the Empire thinks they're the superior nation to the other two. For Faerghus, specifically, they see them as barbarian, uncultured Northerners. Edelgard gets no pushback from anyone for her land grabbing. There's lines from multiple characters suggesting the Empire huffs their own farts. But everyone? Of course not. For every Ferdinand, you've got a Linhardt that just doesn't give a shit.

Yuri is pretty openly pro-Church in this game, to be honest. There's map dialogue towards the end of SB and GW where he straight-up says, I'm only here because you're going to win, and he questions who's actually going to be allowed and benefit in Edelgard's world (it's not like a hopeful, but a doubtful). In AG, he says something totally different that chapter - a more generic observation/we're about to win/etc. There's also dialogue where he cuts himself off in SB and GW, not telling you things, in AG, he just tells you (noticing these things is why I play them back-to-back, I would've never picked up on Yuri trusting Shez in AG and not in SB/GW if I hadn't). His Dimitri support ends with him partnering with Dimitri because he believes the future Dimitri wants will accomplish his own goals (which, I'm guessing, has something to do with protecting/improving the downtrodden). He also low-key agrees to do any dirty work necessary to protect Dimitri's reputation and safety from that kind of work. Dimitri protests anyone doing anything bad in his name, so Yuri's like ok, ok but it's still pretty obvious that's exactly what he intends to do regardless and the part of the reason he intends to do so is because Dimitri's the kind of person who protested lamo. Honestly, he comes closer than any non-student character to openly declaring a side in this game regardless of what side you're playing.

Seteth giving a pro-crest view is interesting. Crests in themselves aren't bad things. It's human greed that turned them into a burden. And, of course, he'd see them as good. They're obviously some kind of "soul" or "spiritual energy" or something of Nabateans given to humans to help them (either get strong enough to defeat Nemesis or save their lives when sick or etc). He sees them from a different perspective and it's literally part of who he and all his family is.

I love the devious side to Flayn. You're right that it's never malicious, it's more playful. She'd be a lesser character without it.

I'm actually kind of shocked how badly Petra got treated. It seemed the fandom never played up how awful it could've been because Petra and Edelgard are friends, but I guess I just never gave Petra enough attention (there's so many characters), but did Petra ever have a choice? It's in her best interest to befriend the person who will one day have the power to destroy or free Brigid of anything in between.

Sylvain probably hates and wants to make peace with Sreng. He often has pretty complicated relationships in general. In GW, he tried to make peace and they used that to spring war on them, a war that killed his father. So, at this point, Sylvain has given up on peace and given into his hate. Since his father just died, that's a reasonable emotional reaction (if not a helpful one). Who knows if, in 3 years, he'd still feel the same way or circle back to "it's complicated, but I want to at least try."

I agree somewhat about your take on Dimitri being the only one who bothers to figure out "why" and even feel guilty about attacking others. It's part of why he's my runaway favorite. But when looking at the writing a a whole, it's a bit sus to only have the one getting attacked care when the ones attacking almost never bother to remember they're killing human beings and the whole thing ends up looking really victim blamey from a country that refuses to acknowledge when they were playing Edelgard in real life. BUT, I don't think it's a big mystery how Dimitri would react to questioning a Caspar or a Nadar who are openly bloodthirsty and for shallow reasons. He'd go and fight and kill them and feel a whole lot less bad about it. Even when he understands the enemy enough to know how badly he'll come across from their perspective, he still gives the command to attack if he thinks it's in Faerghus' best interest. If their reasons are evil, then he'd just go do it again.

AM Dimitri is better off mentally, but that doesn't mean AG Dimitri can't get there. How I see it is AG!Dimitri is what the writers would've done with AM!Dimitri if they had more time. People overplay how Dimitri just "turns around," but it is a valid criticism even if you understand the constraints. I think AG!Dimitri is showing the growing pains. So you'd get initial timeskip -> Grondor -> AG -> AM. Except in my fantasy world, Rodrigue doesn't die at Grondor, but just almost dies, lamo. Also, it could make sense with his friends too. They aren't able to reach him until post-Grondor because they're too tied to the past that's haunting him. So someone he loves almost dies to save him -> he sinks to rock bottom and wants to leave everyone but Byleth convinces him not to -> he and his friends start opening up to each other again -> slowly works towards Savor King. And it's in that "friendship is now back on the menu" when you'd throw in a lot of the AG and some immediately post Grondor AM stuff.

I totally agree about how they did Dedue dirty in AM though. AG redeemed that.

Manuela is from the Empire. For me, it's as simple as that. All her family and friends are there. It's also why I can't fathom the vast majority of the characters joining the Empire either. You'd have to have some crazy high convictions to openly take up arms and be willing to kill your own family, friends, and everyone you grew up around.

When I read people saying that Byleth is so effective because they're a new element, it made a lot of sense to me - especially for the Blue Lions because so many of them are haunted by their pasts. There's too much complicated shared tragedy among the Blue Lions for them to be able to talk about it to each other like they can to Byleth. There's def some annoying self-insert worship going on too, but it still does make sense and there's just good and bad parts to it like any other piece of writing.

That's 2/2 for Dimitri being the one lord that doesn't make a big fuss about the self-insert's powers. It's even better in AG though, since in AM, it's not even commented on. In AG, Dimitri knows that Shez's powers could go crazy one day, but just doesn't care. Shez is a person first and foremost and not just their abilities. (Though, I love it in AM too, that Byleth's powers play no factor at all in their relationship, to the point it's barely talked about. It's very sweet for Byleth to know that Dimitri only ever saw Byleth and not their super powers). Given that Faerghus actually needs super powers more than the other nations, it just makes it even more heartwarming how they put less emphasis on what the powers can do for their country than on valuing that person as an individual separate from God powers.

Azure Gleam Ch 11

Spoilers below for AG Ch 11.

STORY

RODRIGUE is back. You have no idea how happy I am that he got more screen time (and is now playable!)

Ashe's not happy that some nobles kept their titles after turning coat, but they can't afford the chaos changing things would create right now, but they plan to in the future.

I am living for the Big Dad energy Rodrigue always has.

Do we get to kill Caspar's Dad? Please let me kill Caspar's dad.

Felix asking the right questions - asking if they can trust Claude. Annette doesn't trust Claude. Ingrid neither, but doesn't think he's as bad as Annette and Felix.

Gustave and the Knights of Serios are keeping the Alliance in check.

Once again, people asking if Dimitri can kill his step-sister. But Dimitri's like, guys, I killed Rufus. I can handle it.

Ohh, a letter from Patricia? If it doesn't have new info, why bring it up? Something disturbing. Confirmation she was always bad.

Yep, she helped plot Duscur. I mean, we all guessed she was an awful human being, so now we know.

Like, I don't blame Patricia for missing Edelgard or whatever, but setting your child step-son to get butchered alongside tons of other innocent people is straight-up evil.

Dimitri's worried about Shez, and she's opening up to him. It's pretty sweet. It's also so sweet how much they trust Shez even if she doesn't trust herself.

Honestly, Dimitri and Shez are so cute, as friends or more, it doesn't matter, they have a great relationship.

Shez would rather die than kill her friends 😭 We won't let that happen (it better not happen)

MAP/SIDE BATTLES

Seteth said he trusts me 😭😭😭

Rodrigue got to say two things this time, which means he made up for lost time last chapter.

Ok guys, Shamir just went up in my books. She said as a mercenary she'll get hired to kill anyone, but prefers killing bad guys, like the Empire. I love it. She hasn't said anything like this in GW or SB.

SHEZ & RODRIGUE B

LAMO, omg, I love Shez.

So it starts with Rodrigue taking Shez very seriously as Shez talks about how the war may be over by next winter because she . . . wants to have a snowball fight, like all the Kingdom kids got to do.

It's actually kind of sweet, seeing Shez want to just play and have fun with the Blue Lions.

Rodrigue, of course, love the idea.

And takes snowball fighting too seriously, talking strategy. Of a snowball fight. OMG I love this. I love him.

He'd do full-out battle with Lambert and go with kids.

Rodrigue lost, lamo.

So Lambert would rush into battle alone, and Shez thinks like father like son with Dimitri.

I also love how Rodrigue thinks Gautier is cowardly for laying and ambush for Lambert, but is totally fine with his own sneaking and waiting to strike.

It ended with them getting cussed out by Ingrid's dad for not taking the mountain seriously.

Shez can invite Rodrigue to join in.

Oh, man, I wish I got to see this fight. I can only imagine Felix when he realizes Rodrigue is involved and thinking it's dumb for taking it seriously, then taking it seriously. Ingrid being an absolute tyrant ordering people to follow her strategies. Dimitri scared he'll knock someone's teeth out. Mercedes being absolutely savage. And so on...

DIMITRI & YURI C

Excited for this.

Yuri's told a "funny knight" who's really strong is helping everyone out who sometimes sounds sheltered and obtuse and sometimes not. Yep. It's Dimitri.

Yuri's not happy seeing Dimitri in dangerous allies. Worried about him. But Dimitri wants to learn how the commoners live so he can help them rule better.

OMG, Yuri's like "you don't have an heir," worried about the civil war that will happen if Dimitri dies.

Yuri is determined for Dimitri to live a long and happy life because the people of Faerghus like Dimitri and Yuri likes the commonfolk of Faerghus.

Also love how Yuri points out that if war breaks out, nobles will die, but commoners get slaughtered. Wish he'd tell Edelgard that.

Haha, he says to bring Dedue at least.

OMG, I love Dimitri. He then just asks Yuri to be his bodyguard.

And Dimitri won't ask Dedue because he knows Dedue will just forbid Dimitri from coming, like a nanny, lol.

Yuri's entertained that Dimitri asked him to be a bodyguard.

SYLVAIN & DEDUE B

Dedue is impressed with Sylvain for interacting with a woman like a normal person lamo.

"Don't expect praise for merely doing your job." I love Dedue. That's savage af.

Sylvain was motivated to mature by Felix and Dimitri. He said they're both like brothers, which is why he wouldn't get left behind. I love this group.

Oof, Dedue "had" a sister. And now we're getting to learn about her. 😭 She liked flower crowns and was determined when she set her mind to it.

Dedue wants Sylvain to visit Duscur after the war, to visit her grave together 😭

SYLVAIN & FELIX A

Felix got into a fight with soldiers . . . . because they were making fun of Sylvain.

Felix called it the "worst decision in his life." Of course. Felix being Felix.

Felix didn't tell Sylvain because he was worried about Sylvain hearing the details about what people said about him.

I love the idea of Felix getting into a fist-fight with people insulting Sylvain lamo.

Sylvain thinks he deserves his bad reputation because of who he used to be. Felix challenged why Sylvain didn't change sooner. Sylvain has no defense lol.

Felix is ok with people making fun of Sylvain, but only certain people lamo.

Felix is blushing after saying something nice lol. Now he's pissed at Sylvain. And insulting him. Very typical Felix.

Sylvain says he's 7% more cunning than Felix lamo.

This one did go more into ship bait. I was surprised how un-shippy their C was, but I'm sure Sylvix fans loved this one.

DIMITRI & MERCEDES A

They're traveling to a village together. It's the one Mercedes used to live in. Dimitri likes how calm it is.

Mercie called Dimitri her friend 😭😭

Dimitri claims he's a king's knight lol. He catches himself. Also village woman finds Dimitri handsome. She has taste.

Mercedes and Dimitri talk about how open minded the church is and give credit to the overall teachings (lamo, eat shit, Claude)

Mercedes is grateful to Dimitri to taking in the Central Church because it helped the village out. It's why she brought him there, so he could see the good that comes from protecting the church.

Mercedes plans to show him around the town and introduce Dimitri to her mother and the priest.

Dimitri's nervous lol. Hahaha, Mercie says she'll tell him he's someone "very important" which flusters him lamo.

She made him laugh and smile.

This support was adorable. (and feels like it couldn't possibly be the same writers as SB and GW lamo)

MERCEDES & DEDUE B

Sad they only get one support. Their Houses one was amazing.

Mercedes is teaching cooking. The little girl gets scared of Dedue when he arrives to fetch Mercie.

Poor Dedue frightens children and animals :(

Mercie says lots of the kids are orphans, so they're scared, and that Dedue looks intimidating. She has a plan to make him not look as scary.

I KNEW IT! He's handing out flower crowns. I was going to say it was something with flowers.

Now all the kids love Dedue. Good. He's the sweetest man in Fodlan.

Dedue teaches them how to make the crowns.

Dedue is happy with Mercedes, but Mercie says it was Dedue's kindness who won them over. Of course they both give each other credit.

They both have such strong mom and dad energy.

SHEZ & ANNETTE A

Annette's up late working on music lol. Shez thinks the notes look like bugs lol.

Annette won't sing it though :( Her songs are legendary.

She wants a song that makes people feel happy when they sing it. Very Annette.

She heard the song Shez passed around getting sung by a dying mercenary, who died happy though because they appreciated the song. It made Annette appreciate the song more.

She is such a sweetie.

It's sweet to have a whole support revolve around Annette realizing her songs make people happy and help people. She'd love that.

OMG, I love Annette. Her new song is about a feast, then they go to get more ingredients, and then get into a death battle with a bear. Truly a child of Faerghus.

RAPHAEL & FELIX C

Raphael is drooling over Felix's food, so he gives it to Raphael, and Felix offers to go buy more.

Felix thinks he hears thunder, but it's just Raphael's stomach.

Felix is being nice, lol, insisting Raphael eat some of his food.

But now he's annoyed that Raphael called him a "meat buddy" or a bit. Felix likes the idea of hunting that Raphael suggested.

Raphael is so nice not even Felix can manage to get mad at him.

SYLVAIN & IGNATZ C

Sylvain feels bad because he interrupted Ignatz painting. He wanted Ignatz to look at a painting he brought home.

Sylvain knows painting styles (he knows it's not a common Faerghus style). But ofc Sylvain is interested in how pretty the woman in the painting is lamo.

He's curious about the woman's identity, but it doesn't seem in a fuck boy way, but a curiosity over a favorite piece of art way.

That Sylvain is into art just made him even cooler.

Religious art often has their symbols in the art (and Flayn's is fish lamo, good).

As a major art fan, I love this support adding little tid bits about Fodlan art.

Lamo, Sylvain studied art to impress ladies at first, but now he actually likes it.

SETETH & YURI C

Yuri chatted with a scholar, wanting to learn about the 10 elites because he didn't get a good education.

It's a support to explain how crests came to be and their powers

Yuri trusts Seteth with his crest secrets (partly because he knows Seteth already knows, and partly bc Yuri has taste)

Seteth encourages Yuri to cherish his crest and the power it brings

So is Yuri the son of an elite or something?

FLAYN & SHEZ B

Flayn thinks Shez looks good because she's dirty and that suites her lol. I love Flayn.

Flayn is wearing perfume. Seteth probably doesn't know lamo.

Flayn talks about how perfumes coming in trend shows that even in dark times, it's not all consuming. Very Flayn of her.

We're going trend shopping. She doesn't get to shop often.

Flayn is straight-up making shit up, lamo. She invented that Shez wanted to shop to raise Shez's spirits, not hers.

It's this more -uh - questionable side of Flayn that keeps her from being a one-note, overly sweet character. I love it.

CATHERINE & SHEZ C

Count Charon asks Catherine for more soldiers, but only Dimitri or Rhea could give that order.

Shez didn't know Catherine's family. She stays vague about it when Shez asks about her past.

Catherine, unsurprisingly, says she'd fight for Rhea if had to choose between her or her family.

Catherine asks why Shez is here. Oh, I can pick too - for friends, money, or to fight Byleth. Def picking friends. I think that suits AG Shez best.

Catherine looks happy with that answer.

Oh, I like that, live in a way that makes your past self proud.

ASHE & FELIX B

Their only support.

Oh, Felix is confronting Ashe about how he's a knight working for Dimitri. Should've known it would be about this.

Ashe defends Felix when he calls Dimitri a boar and tiresome lol.

Ashe says Dimitri does his job for him, omg, Dimitri, stop (but that's he's getting better).

Felix is like - you have to steal your job back from him!!! Use force if you have too - I love this, lamo

Dimitri promoted a lot of commoners to be knights, and there were some minor misunderstandings at first, but now no one cares

Felix asks Ashe if he's a noble or commoner, and Ashe is like kinda both actually, which is true

Awww, Dedue comes to Ashe's aids when he needs it (and Dimitri, but Ashe mentioned Dedue too)

And now Ashe is singing Dedue's praises, and ofc Felix insults Dedue, saying that blind loyalty will get him killed

And omg hahaha, Ashe is like that's sweet Felix, that you care about us, I always knew

I love how almost no one takes Felix's tsun seriously. They're all like "aww, look, he's chewing my old slipper!" energy

Ashe putting Felix in his place round 2, I love this. Ashe and Felix is always gold

Felix is like, it's just because more work for me if something happens to you!

Then he's finally nice, telling Ashe he does a good job

ANNETTE & SYLVAIN B

Their only support

This time it's Sylvain who catches Annette singing. Annette seems relieved rather than embarrassed.

Sylvain thinks her song is creepy (covers that, saying creative) and that only Annette could make it (affectionate - maybe)

Why is Annette always singing about swamp beasties?

Sylvain wants a song about something cute instead, so Annette naturally jumps to huge bears lamo

We need an Annette Bernedetta support about finding creepy stuff cute

Annette doesn't seem upset with criticism

Also, this is the second time Sylvain talks to Annette like a person and doesn't really flirt with her, more like siblings vibes it's cute

Annette's next song is even creepier lamo But Sylvain likes it anyways

DIMITRI/RODRIGUE/SYLVAIN PARALOGUE

This one is easy since all 3 are leveled up. I want to do other ones, but I may wait to save some cash lol.

They're up north, so Sreng? Yep.

So they're preparing for a Sreng raid.

So a hostage that grew up in Faerghus is now leading the raid. And Margrave Gautier treated him well even though he felt bitter about Sreng killing his wife. So Miklain's mother?

And now the Sreng hostage is using Fodlan knowledge against them.

Haha, Sylvain was going off about being lazy forgetting his dad was right there lol.

It's cool seeing papa Gautier and Rodrigue together.

The Sreng commander really came across like a dick. Rubbing in Miklain's death, not caring about all the men he got killed.

So did Claude do this in AG too? Incite Sreng? They guess Cornelia and someone from Adrestia too, which could be the case in AG.

Gautier takes credit for the fall. Sylvain got through to the guy apparently.

Dimitri's just happy they share a language now. He would know how important that is since he learned the language of Duscur.

I'm glad they fight over land. It's way more interesting and realistic than whatever the hell they did with Almyra.

Aww, Sylvain is dedicated to reaching peace with Sreng. Of course his dad is harder edged because they killed his wife.

Sylvain being so bent on peace and diplomacy just makes the people who claim he makes sense in CF make even less sense.

I had Shez believe in Sylvain, because AG!Shez is nice Shez.

Sylvain and Dimitri both hate resorting to violence and using warfare first. Both want to avoid it at all cost. I like the future of these two both being important in Faerghus.

Oh, cool, talk between Rodrigue and Matthais. I love the little stories we get of all of them. They were trouble makers lamo. They snuck out the night of the festivities.

Lambert wanted peace with Sreng and Duscur. Dimitri's half-way there, and he and Sylvain are working on the other half.

Gautier now agrees with Sylvain, Lambert, and Dimitri and a pathway to peace.

Aww, Rodrigue advised that he apologize to Sylvain, and he's going too.

Oh, I got the lance of ruin! Cool. Sylvain has his weapon now.

FINAL BATTLE

Not Dimitri being more understanding of the Empire nobles who''ll follow any leader that promises them more land than Edelgard does him and the other Blue Lions

He's thinking from the other's perspective, how it looks to them, not what it actually is - Claude and Edelgard could never

Shez is like, no need to feel guilty, hell yes

Felix is worried about Dimitri, in his very Felix way, meanwhile Dedue is like "we trust you"

I love so much that the importance of his friends' support is stressed so much more in AG.

Oh, I get Constance and Linhardt this battle. Cool.

Felix got lectured by Rodrigue lamo, he wanted to break ranks to chase after Monica

Lamo, Manuela's defeat quote is that she won't die single. Ngl, glad she just retreated.

It's really something that the Blue Lions show way more sympathy towards their enemy than the other routes do. They're the only ones that feel guilty for "invading." When the others are invading.

Glad they're bringing up that if they don't do this, Adrestia will not stop until Faerghus is destroyed.

Rodrigue has such a nice voice.

Felix got angry with Rodrigue when he said all the blame for invading will fall on Dimitri, but then Rodrigue said it's up to Felix to support him through it. This really is Dimilix the route, lamo.

Felix is like, duh.

Why is Shez talking to Rodrigue while it's late. I'm getting flashbacks. He died last time this happened.

They're both worried about Dimitri. And it's cannon that Dimitri falls asleep at his desk. Sooo much fanart of that lol.

Apparently Lambert did the same. Like father, like son.

Lambert had a shorter temper than Dimitri, but are very similar. Unlike Rodrigue and Felix. I get to disagree with Rodrigue there, so I will. Because I think they're more alike than they both think.

Ok guys, we finally got it. Why Felix is miserable outside of AM. He can't live without a great purpose pushing him forward. And in SS, VW, and CF he finds no great purpose, unlike in AM where working with Dimitri towards his version of the future does work.

When Lambert died, Rodrigue struggled to find another reason for being. So he devoted himself to his promise to Lambert, to make sure he sets his won back on his proper path is he loses his way.

Shez feels like Dimitri's been helping her, but she's helping Dimitri too. Like what Rodrigue is doing.

Rodrigue says he's only Dimitri's retainer, that's so false. But he says Shez is in a unique spot since she's a friend first, then he's her leader. Which makes me happy.

More teasing about Shez's origins.

Rodrigue says though that Shez's background or powers aren't what's important, it's about who Shez is as a person. I love so much how the Blue Lions keep repeating this idea, that it's not Byleth's or Shez's power. It's their worth as a person that matters.

Arval just called Rodrigue a wonderful human being. Based.

xxxx

[northlight14]

Royono/Blood red song headcanon’s

Aka Roman X Youngblood X Noise

This ship has me in a chokehold so here we are

Let’s not lie to ourselves here, all 3 of them are absolute dumbasses (before anyone even attempts to say Youngblood isn’t a dumbass, while I agree he has the most brain cells of the group I’d like to remind you all that he was also stood talking to a door for 15-20 minutes before seeing there’s a door handle.) (Also if anyone tries to tell me Noise isn’t an absolute thembo, respectfully you’re wrong😂 He is the embodiment of a dumb smart person and would roast the shit out of Roman for doing something dumb but would then immediately go and do something just as stupid). Now because they’re a group of himbos, it took them a while to get together. As they all started to develop feelings, Roman didn’t wanna say anything because he could tell that Youngblood and Noise have a whole history that he didn’t wanna get in the way of. Meanwhile Noise saw how close Youngblood and Roman had become and didn’t wanna get in the way of that or complicate an already complicated situation. In the end Youngblood confessed first after getting over his whole “dear god why did I have to fall for those idiots?!” Thing😂

Roman and Youngblood introduce Noise to Reston. Needless to say, Noise was a bit overwhelmed at first as he’s typically not great with new people. Him and Youngblood did almost get into a fight with Fast Timmy on the first day which Roman had to stop. However, the village did end up liking them. Noise specifically formed a really good friendship with Samuel, something that absolutely horrified Youngblood. When having a meal with the family, Aunt Patty (not very subtly) kept whispering to Roman about how much she loves his partners and Roman just smiles and agrees

Ryker was very wary when they started dating. He had no issues with Roman being gay or polyamorous. The exact opposite really, he was extremely supportive. His issue came from Youngblood and Noise both being bards. It was especially tricky for him to accept Noise as he’d at least talked to Youngblood somewhat and gathered that he’s a decent person. He also trusted him slightly more because he’d run from the bard collage. Noise however is a different situation as they’re literally first chair and have a complex history when it comes to Roman. He’s also got reason to be a bit wary of Youngblood again since Youngblood used to be first chair and has hurt Noise before, both via the fire incident and by leaving. But over time Ryker begins to warm to them both and trusts that neither of them are going to hurt Roman. The 2 of them also help Ryker work on some of his bias when it comes to bards.

Dice Rollingstone/Mike Ro’phone has been simping for Noise since they first saw him perform and does flirt with Noise at every given opportunity. Noise is just tried and doesn’t really care because he’s not interested and nothings going to happen so whatever. Meanwhile Youngblood and Roman be like “I swear I’m gonna beat his ass for flirting with our partner!” “Damn, that was kinda sweet” “Roman!” “I mean how dare they!” Dice/Mike knows not to take it too far tho. They’re not a total asshole after all. A lot of the flirting is more like “in another life my love😘” while Noise is like “what? Ok…?”

Noise and Youngblood sing together a lot and teach Roman more about music. Roman sometimes joins in with their singing as well. Noise and Youngblood will also write songs for the others and have collaborated on songs for Roman which they perform for him.

When Noise is having a bad dysphoria day, Roman will initiate a cuddle puddle that Noise pretends to hate but secretly loves

Noise is very short and hides it by wearing his boots. Youngblood absolutely (affectionately) bullies him for this and Roman tries to make it better but always inevitably makes it way worse😂

Youngblood and Noise always have to wake Roman up in the morning because they’re both early risers and Roman would sleep in till the afternoon if he could. But if they’re gonna be going on missions, that’s not exactly gonna work.

If anyone dares insult one of the people in the polycule, the other two can and will absolutely beat their ass. Be it making fun of Roman being a bit clueless, someone calling Noise rude or a jerk or someone mocking Youngblood’s caution, best believe it’s on sight

[thebigbadbatswife]

One Single Thread Of Gold Tied Me To You

Summary - Everyone is tied to their soulmate with a red thread tied to their wrist. All except Y/N’s, who’s thread is gold. Tired of waiting for her soulmate to come and find her, she decides to go and find them. It doesn’t go quite how she expected it to.

Warnings - A little angst

[A/N] -��This is a soulmate au where you and your soulmate are attached by an unbreakable red thread (or, in this case, gold), tied to your wrist. This was inspired by the song 'Invisible String' by Taylor Swift.

Word Count - 4k

As the early morning sun slowly filtered into your room, through your blinds, you carefully examined the thread attached to your wrist. Everyone had one; it was your link to your soulmate. Yours was different to everyone else though. While everyone had red, yours was gold. As you turned your wrist, it caught the sunlight and glistened a little.

Everyone you knew had always been fascinated by it. As was nearly every stranger you met. Why was it gold? What exactly made you and your soulmate so different to everyone else’s? Questions you had often asked yourself as well. Why were you two so different?

Your family had a theory that whoever it was, they were rich. Very rich. That was surely the reason it was gold. Nothing else made sense to them. Meanwhile your friends were completely convinced that your soulmate was some kind of God.

“Come on, Y/N! It’s the only thing that makes sense!” Tracey said before taking another sip of her third glass of wine. Her usually bright emerald eyes were glazed over from all of the alcohol. “Why else would it be gold?”

“You gotta admit, Tracey might be drunk right now, but she has a good point!” Skylar joined in. She took her brown eyes off the blonde and looked over at you before continuing. “Oh! What if your soulmate is like Wonder Woman or Superman or something! How cool would that be?”

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your own glass of wine. “Stop it. You’re both being ridiculous,” you had told them because they really were being ridiculous. There was no way your soulmate was a member of the Justice League, let alone an Amazonian Princess or the Man of Steel.

You were, of course, curious of your soulmate yourself. Who wouldn’t be curious of the person they’re destined to end up with? But you didn’t think up the crazy theories your friends and family liked to come up with. Instead you wondered things like, what kind of hobbies do they have? What’s their favourite colour? What type of music do they listen to? Were they a cat person or a dog person? And other things like that.

Another thing about the thread that tied you to your soulmate was that, while everyone could see the thread around your wrist, only you and soulmate could see where it led. While you had always wanted to follow it, you had decided that it would be better to focus on having a decent job and place to live first.

During that time a small part of you had hoped that maybe your soulmate would come looking for you, but since they clearly weren’t, maybe you should? After all, you had a well paying job and a great apartment, so why not? Every job was legally required to allow people time off to go search, so that wouldn’t be an issue. It was paid time off as well so you didn’t have to worry about money. You also had a car so you wouldn’t have to spend a shit ton of money on travel. At least, you hoped you wouldn’t. In truth, for all you knew, your soulmate could be in a completely different country. Now that would certainly complicate things.

Shaking that thought away (because there was no way fate could be that cruel), you got out of bed and set about putting the wheels in motion that would allow you to start following your thread

‘ Welcome to Gotham City! ’ the sign read as you drove past it. When you had told those close to you, your plan, they had been super supportive. Now, if they knew where your thread had lead you, you doubted they’d be as supportive. Hell, even you were rethinking things now. Out of all the cities for your soulmate to be in, it just had to be this one.

How did you know it was this city that they resided in and it wasn’t just another stop along the way? It was hard to explain, but you had a feeling deep within your gut, almost like a sixth sense that just yelled “Yep! This is the place!”.

You felt extremely uneasy as you drove through the city. It was night-time as well which did absolutely nothing to help. Honestly, of all the times to arrive in Gotham, night-time was definitely the worst. Well, there was nothing you could do about that now, you just had to keep on going, so you did.

The golden thread snaked through the gothic city and went from the “posh” part of the city all the way to the worst part of the city. The buildings were run down and most of the windows were boarded up. Each turn you took there were shiftier and shiftier characters on every corner. You started to get the feeling that you really shouldn’t be here. Plus you were starting to wonder if you really wanted to know who your soulmate was if they were hanging out in neighbourhoods like this.

You brought your car to a stop in front of a particularly dark and sinister looking alleyway. A particularly dark and sinister looking alleyway that your golden thread lead straight into. Coming to this part of this city was already a bad idea. Continuing to follow that thread to what had to be your certain doom was even worse. Yet, at this point in your mission, you were pretty much committed.

You couldn’t help out a quiet and very nervous laugh as you climbed out of your car. ‘ This is fucking insane ,’ you thought as you stepped out of your car. Before shutting and locking it (though you doubt that would do much to protect it in this area), you grabbed your pepper spray. ‘ I really hope your worth all this .’

As you followed the thread down the alleyway, you heard a sudden loud bang. A gunshot. You stopped in your tracks and you could feel your heart pick up its pace. Your thread lead in the direction the shot had come from. ‘ I really hope you weren’t involved with that .’ Taking a deep breath, you continued down the alleyway.

The alleyway lead out onto another street. There was a small crunching sound as you stepped out onto the street. Taking a step back, you looked to the ground to see what you had just stepped on. The ground was littered with small shards of glass. Looking up, you figured the shards of glass were from the bulbs from the streetlamps. Something had broken them. It didn’t take you long to figure out what, or rather who ,was responsible.

Further down the street, taking on group of ten men, was none other than Gotham’s Caped Crusader. The Batman.

You quickly ducked back into the alley you had just left. You then carefully peered around the wall, so you could watch the fight. You were well aware of the fact that your thread was leading straight toward the fight. Which meant that your soulmate was involved.

You watched the fight intensely, both intrigued and terrified to figured which one of the men was on the end of your thread. There was a voice in the back of your head praying hardcore that it was the hero in the centre of the fight.

Batman was a blur of black and dark grey as he rapidly made his way through the group of men. With a variety of different punches, kicks and gadgets, he made short work of them. During his combat flow, you followed your thread with your eyes and a small gasp left you as you realised who the other end was attached to.

Holy fuck. You’re friends had, kind of, been right. While your soulmate wasn’t Wonder Woman or Superman, like they had suggested, he was apart of the Justice League’s ‘Big Three’. Your soulmate was Batman . At least now you knew why he hadn’t come looking for you. He’d been busy saving the world.

Now you had to figure out how to approach him before he ended up disappearing into the night.

Exiting your cover, you took your thread between your finger and thumb and gently tugged on it a couple of times.

Batman looked at his end of the thread curiously as your tugs had gotten his attention. Then his head drifted upwards, following where it lead till his eyes settled on you.

If he was shocked, he didn’t show it. He just stood there, his eyes never leaving you. Part of you wanted to cower away from the intense stare, but you willed yourself not to. He was your soulmate, and you weren’t a criminal,  you had no reason to be afraid.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said, finally ending the silence between you. His voice was deep and almost robotic sounding. Probably some sort of voice modulator to help hide his identity, you figured.

“In Gotham? Yeah, this place really sucks,” you replied, thinking about all the things you had heard about this city, “but I came here to find my soulmate; to find you.”

“You shouldn’t have.” His voice was sharp and serious as he spoke. He also sounded irritated at your sudden appearance, which caused you to frown. That couldn’t be right… could it?

“What?” You hated how meek and pathetic your voice sounded, but you couldn’t help it. Wasn’t this supposed to be a happy moment? One of the happiest in your life in fact. Instead you felt like you were being scolded rather than meeting the person who was supposed to be your other half.

“I didn’t want to meet you. Now I suggest you go home. It’s not safe here.”

What? You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. There was pressure behind your eyes and your throat tightened. You took a shaky breath as you took a step backwards away from him. It quickly sunk in that the man you’d been destined to be with, the man you had thought about since you were old enough to understand the concept of a soulmate, wanted nothing to do with you.

“I-I’m sorry I disturbed you.” Your voice broke as you fought back the tears that threatened to fall. You weren’t going to give him that satisfaction. You then turned around and ran back toward where you had left your car.

As fast as you could, you started your car up and made your way to a safer part of the city. It didn’t take you long to find a somewhat empty parking lot to park in. Once the engine was off, you screamed and aggressively slammed against the wheel as you let the tears freely fall.

You felt like a complete and utter fucking idiot. Of course he didn’t want you. You’d probably just get in the way of him saving the world or something like that. Besides, what was that article you had seen a few months ago? Something about Catwoman and a relationship between the two? While it happened very rarely, some people in the world had been known to reject their soulmate because they had found someone they deemed better. Is that what had happened? Whatever the reason, you could feel your heart breaking.

You had used to think that, out of all the members of the Justice League, Batman had been one of the cooler members. Now all you could think was that he was a massive jerk.

Maybe it was your own fault for romanticising the whole thing and thinking that your meeting would be something out of a fairytale. Apparently fate was far crueller than you could have ever thought it to be.

Bruce watched as she ran away from him, back down the alleyway she had come from. A small voice in the back of his head told him to go after her. To grab her, hold her close and apologise, tell her that he hadn’t meant it. He ignored it and headed off in the opposite direction, back to where he had left the batmobile.

Over his comms, he heard a barely audible sigh and he could easily picture his butler and lifelong friend shaking his head in disappointment. No doubt he was going to get an earful once he got back to the batcave. Well it certainly wasn’t the first time.

As the batmobile pulled up in the batcave, he could see Alfred waiting for him. ‘ Here we go ,’ he thought as he got out of his car and removed his cowl.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he stated as he walked past him and toward the batcomputer. He set his cowl down on the desk. Even as the words left his mouth he knew he had wasted his breath. If there was one thing that Alfred had done consistently since Bruce had started down this path, it was letting him know when he disagreed with something he did.

“Was that really necessary Master Bruce? She’s come all of this way…” Alfred started, but ended up trailing off. There was a small moment of silence before he continued. “You know, I remember a small boy who couldn’t wait to go out there and find…” Before he could finish what he was saying, Bruce promptly cut him off.  

“What would you have me do, Alfred?!” His voice echoed off of the cave’s walls and disturbed some of the bats still hanging on the ceiling. Bruce gestured toward his equipment and the display cases that held some rather badly damaged batsuits. All of them testaments to injuries that had come far too close to killing him. “Would you really have me force this life on to her? The dangers, the no guarantee I’ll come home…” He took a deep breath and rested both his hands on the surface of his desk. “She deserves so much better.” His voice was quiet, but still easily heard in the, almost, silent cave.

“With all due respect, sir, I believe she should be allowed to make that decision, not you,” Alfred replied before leaving the batcave, not giving Bruce a chance to respond.

He looked in the direction of the stairs that lead up into the manor. The direction that Alfred had headed in. Was he right? Should he be leaving it up to her to decide what she wanted? But with all the dangers he faced nightly… No, it was better for him to stay far away from her.

Over the following week Bruce found himself distracted. It didn’t matter where he was, what he was doing, he couldn’t focus. And considering what he did once night fell over Gotham, to say being unfocused really wasn’t good was a complete understatement of the situation. He had been having far too many close calls recently.

He couldn’t get it out of his head. The way she had looked at him as he told her he didn’t want to meet her, that she should leave. Alfred’s words echoed in his mind and he found himself questioning the decisions he had made that night. Something that Bruce rarely, if ever, did. Everything he did was meticulously planned and there was never any doubt when he made a decision. Was this what happened once you met your soulmate and rejected them?

Bruce was sure that the rest of the Justice League had taken notice. With how off beat and slow to react to certain things, it would be hard not to. Of course, if they had, none of them had mentioned it to him. Apparently they knew better. For the time being, at least. He was sure it wouldn’t be long before they did try to pry into his personal life.

Which lead him here. On the roof of the building opposite of Y/N’s apartment building. He hadn’t needed to do any extensive research to find her, or learn her name, because he had been in this exact spot a couple of years ago.

Two years ago Bruce’s own curiosity had gotten the better of him. He blamed Clark and his soulmate, a reporter by the name of Lois Lane, for it. He had seen them one too many times in the Watchtower together and had found himself wondering who exactly his soulmate was and what they was like. As a result, he had gone looking for them. Not because he wished to finally meet them, but so he could make sure his soulmate was safe and happy. And she was, so he had left. Only ever checking up on her every now and then to make sure she had stayed that way.

He looked down at the golden thread that came out of his gauntlet and lead down toward the apartment he’d been watching. Both as Bruce Wayne and Batman he had made sure to keep it well hidden. With its unique colouring he couldn’t allow anyone to see it. It would be all too easy for his enemies to find her if they did see it.

He knew that by being here he was easily undoing everything he had done to keep her safe, but, then again, had she not done exactly that when she had tracked him down in Gotham? Besides, and while he would never say it out loud, Alfred had been right. It should be up to Y/N to decide whenever or not she wanted all the baggage that came with him being in her life. Baggage that had driven more than one person from his life…

He shook that thought from his head and got up from his crouched position on the roof. Bruce then leapt from the roof and allowed himself to fall for a couple of seconds before opening up his cape and let it catch the wind that was rushing past him. He silently glided over to her apartment’s balcony.

Y/N was in her apartment alone. She was sat on her sofa, the light from the tv was the only thing illuminating the room.

Bruce was unsure of how exactly to go about this. Back in Gotham he had originally thought of approaching her as Bruce Wayne, but quickly discarded it. Bruce Wayne showing up at an out of the way apartment building was sure to garner attention. As would Batman using the front door, so the balcony had seemed to be the best option. But now that he was here, he wasn’t entirely sure it was.

Should he just knock? That seemed like the best way to go about this. It was going to scare the everloving daylights out of her, but he could deal with that.

He gently rapped the glass of the balcony door with his knuckles. As he had expected, Y/N leapt up from her seat. A bowl and the contents of the bowl followed her and scattered across her carpeted floor. She spun around and when she saw him, the look of shock on her face quickly turned to anger. Her eyes narrowed and he swore that glare would be enough to make even the toughest of Gotham’s thugs would cower at its intensity. Maybe she would deal with his life better than he thought.

After a minute of glaring at him, she turned around and walked toward the lightswitch. At the same time, she gestured for him to enter.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” she demanded as soon as he had entered the apartment and shut the door behind him. The rage in her voice was evident and Bruce was sure he could cut the tension in the room with a batarang.

“I came to apologise,” he said, his voice gentle despite how distorted his modulator made it sound. Y/N scoffed immediately. He didn’t blame her. If he was in her shoes, he wouldn’t believe him either. After all ‘Batman’ wasn’t exactly known for making apologies.

“Yeah right.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m being truthful. I… I shouldn’t have said what I said. It wasn’t right.”

“Then why did you say it?” A fair question and one he had an answer to. Before he even said it, Bruce was aware how cliché it sounded.

“I wanted to keep you safe. This life isn’t for everyone.”

“So without even meeting me, you decided that it wasn’t for me.” She shook her head. “That’s not your decision to make!” she yelled at him.

“I know. It’s been pointed out to me before.” In fact that night in the cave wasn’t the first time Alfred had told him that. “But that’s why I’m here now. To give you all the information you need to make that decision.”

You listened intently as Batman explained the dangers of the life he was leading. The dangers that effected the people in his life in one way or another. He also made it a point to reiterate the fact that when he left at night or was summoned by the Justice League there was no guarantee he would return. You asked the occasional question, but for the most part you just listened to him to talk and let his words sink in.

You got it. You understood the very clear concerns that Batman had about this whole thing, they concerned you as well, but you weren’t about to let it deter you. You wanted to know your soulmate. Even if it ended horribly, like he was saying it would, you felt it in your core that you would regret not knowing him, especially if the worst truly did happen. And you told him so.

“Even if you’re not wearing a mask, this life is dangerous. Anything can happen.”

“Anything could happen to me when I leave my apartment each day.”

The superhero life wasn’t special in that regard. As you spoke, your voice was a lot calmer than it had been earlier. In fact, as he had spoke and explained you had found your anger slowly fading. You still wanted to slap the jerk superhero before you, but that was a considerable downgrade from your overwhelming need to deck him when you first saw him standing on your balcony.

“It won’t be easy.”

“I’ve never backed down from a challenge before.”  

You admired his commitment to deter you, but it wasn’t going to work. You were too stubborn to let it. Something you were positive he was learning very quickly.

“There’s nothing I can say to convince you that this is a bad idea, is there?”  

“Nope.” You made sure to pop the ‘p’.

Batman sighed deeply. You watched as he looked away from you and toward the golden thread that linked the two of you together. You could almost hear the gears in his brain turning as he thought. Then he was looking back up at you.

“In that case then.”

You watched as Batman brought his hands up to his cowl. Your eyes widened and you couldn’t help the small gasp that left you as he removed the cowl and revealed his identity to you. Bruce Wayne. While you didn’t live in Gotham City, you were well aware of Gotham’s favoured son. You would’ve had to have lived underneath a rock to not know who he was.

And apparently your family had been right on the money, literally. Not that you cared about the money, you weren’t superficial like that. Personality was far more important than the material items someone may or may not have. In your eyes, at least.

You both stood in silence, his blue eyes studying you, probably trying to gauge how you were going to react. To be truthful, you weren’t entirely sure how to react. Except maybe…

“Well, it’s… it’s nice to meet you Bruce Wayne. I guess this is the part where we forget about what happened and start over?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

Yeah, sure, this was probably going to end horribly, but you were looking forward to the adventure that lie ahead.

[khaleesiofalicante]

While a positivity blog is great, posing it in opposition with the "call-out" blog immediately devalues it. The one person who was called out on that account (the original one) was an adult sexualizing teenagers who blocked anyone who tried to tell her that what she was doing was harmful. It makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors.

There's no way to "communicate" with someone who blocks anyone who tries to "call" them "in". a call out is a statement that this type of behavior isn't acceptable and a promise to make the fandom a safer space for teenagers.

I asked very respectfully not to send me follow up questions on this matter. Because this whole "call out" thing had been weighing on my mental health.

But once again, I keep getting dragged into this.

This my response to every ask I've gotten regarding this matter over the last few days. The asks I've been ignoring because it's not my place to give an opinion on this. Or rather, I do not have to. I don't have an obligation to do so.

But here we are.

The very reason I find the call out blog problematic is because of a sentence you said in your ask.

You mentioned that because I find the call out blog problematic and I quote "it makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors."

This is the problem.

The call out is not the problem. It's the way in which they are being called out.

Over the last few days, I've seen tsc blogs, for the lack of a better word, being "investigated". Posts dug from the past, follower lists analysed, screenshots posts and shared in public.

This is not a call out. A call out refers to interpersonal confrontations occurring between individuals on social media. In theory, call-outs should be very simple – someone does something wrong, people tell them, and they avoid doing it again in the future.

Now I understand you mentioned an individual refused to listen. I will not comment on that - since I do not know this individual personally or how they reacted. I do not prefer to talk about people I don't know personally. Neither the people calling them out - or the person being called out.

But what I can tell you is that when you call out someone, it only works when you point out why they are wrong, not what what they are doing is wrong. So, instead of calling someone a pedophile, it is essential to explain how their behaviour impacts you or your peers. It is important to address this issue in the larger fandom, not just by spamming one person's ask box. Because this issue is greater than one blog.

The reason why I don't condone this call out blog is because it is so easily possible to get carried away and overpunish people, turning alleged perpetrators of upsetting acts into victims themselves. The moral high ground people stand on evolves from calling out to public shaming of individuals.

I am requesting this entire fandom to rethink your actions and to reevaluate your choices. All of you.

It breaks my heart that you would say that I support adults who sexualise minors when have spent my whole adult life protecting children from such people. It is literally my job.

I recently saw one of my dearest friends being called "homophobic" because they support Jace - because Jace 'outed' Alec and therefore those who support Jace are also homophobic. It really hurt because I know the struggles my friend had to go through in order to protect themselves from their own homophobic family.

It makes me so sad and yet so angry that you are not aware of the consequences your words have on people.

People who make such claims. You seem to forget that we live in a digital world now. You all seem to forget that we are living through a pandemic. We study online. We work online. We entertain ourselves online.

So when you shame people online so callously, it can affect irreparable damage on their professional lives. It can ruin their mental health. It can impact their families.

While the intention of the callout blog - and those who support it - might be honest, the way in which they are achieving their goal is incredibly harmful for people in this fandom regardless of whether they are guilty or not.

I want to point out that this call out blog achieves nothing. It doesn't root out the pedophilia and sexism that exists on Tumblr - or in the fandom. The call out blog does't achieve anything. I'm sorry. It had to be said. The only thing this blog achieve is spreading a culture of shame, fear and stigma in the tsc fandom.

So, I urge you to rethink your actions and reevaluate your methods.

I do not believe in giving bland advice. So, as someone who works on these issues, allow me to point you in an healthier and more effective decision.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

If the goal is "a promise to make the fandom a healthier space for teenagers" then you are doing it wrong. I say this as someone who works on creating healthy spaces for teenagers. It's up to you whether you want to listen to me or not.

But you are going about it wrong. Here is what you can do instead.

1. What we are doing wrong? Currently, you seem to be focusing on the people - not the issue. If you want to make the space feel safe, you need to address the root cause. What differentiates a call-out from bullying is that it shouldn’t be about punishing someone for something they have done, rather it should be about establishing a new pattern of behavior. In other words, when someone calls you out they want you to start showing through your actions that you care about the issue you’ve been called out on. So, show that you care about the issue.

2. How do we show we care? Focus on the teenagers. You are focusing on the wrong group of people. Cancelling out someone or calling out a blog or getting someone to deactivate is not going to make teenagers feel safe. Trust me on this. You need to address the issue to the victims. You need to ASK THEM how they want to be feel safe. While your method might work for you, it might not be what everyone wants. It might not make everyone feel safe. So, talk to your peers. What is it that you can do for your own community? Is it writing an email to CC about this issue in the fandom? Is it addressing it in a larger platform like a magazine or YouTube? Is it reaching to Tumblr and talking to them about doing their job and enforcing the community guidelines efficiently? THIS is how you fix the problem - not by chasing people out when you find them to be problematic.

3. Why are you complicating this? Why can't we just call people out? Because then you will only be addresing the symptoms, not the root cause. I understand that most of you are minors and therefore will not have the same awareness about how the system works or don't ahem access to same resources and opportunities we adults do. But unfortunately, it is our reality. We all live online. We all need to educate ourselves and do better.

I'm sharing an excellent resource here which was developed by UN WOMEN in 2021 to speficially tackle the issue of bullying, disinformation and hate speech experienced by youth - especially young women. It's a free online course that helps you learn this topic better. It even gives you a certificate from the organization.

I am ALL for calling people out as long as you do it the right way. So, if you want to be a warrior on Tumblr, if you want to protect your peers, if you want to create a safe space, you need to learn how to do it the right way. Otherwise, like most social activists, you are doing more bad than good. Your attempts to create a better world only lead to more chaos and pain.

4. I still don't understand. Then here is a simply answer. I hope this helps.

Please make better choices. Be conscious of how your actions online affect people both in digital and offline spaces.

You are allowed to fight for your safety. You are allowed to fight for your rights. But you are not allowed to hurt another person to prove your point. Then your whole initiative becomes counterproductive.

You need to be more aware. You need think more critically.

Finally and most importantly - I once again ask that you do not drag me into this. I am not the president of this fandom. I am not your parent. While it is my job to create awareness and work on online safety, I am not on tumblr to be an activist. This is my safe space. This is my comfort space. This is where I come to take my mind off all the stressful and heartbreaking things I have to work on as an activist. I am here to shit post like most people. I do not have to teach you to be decent or how to be sensible or how to be kind. That is the job of the education system and your family.

I'm sorry those around you have failed you and it has come to this. I only hope you do not fail yourself.

Make better choices.

Love, Dani.

[astaroth1357]

The Obey Me Cast on a Camping Trip (Part One: Brothers)

Hey guys, thank you sooo much for getting me to 2,000 followers!! I honestly don’t know what to say... I never dreamed that this little hobby of mine would reach so many eyes, and I can’t be more grateful. At a time in my life where things feel so chaotic and uncertain, being a part of this community and sharing my weird ideas has been what’s kept me going. It’s been such a rewarding experience all around, so thank you. From the bottom of my heart. 😊

I pulled out all the stops for this post. I even brought out one of my favorite songs of all time: Ao to Natsu by Mrs. GREEN APPLE to get the feel juuust right. I hope you all enjoy it!

This post is split in two due to length (I had too much fun again...) For the Undateables, please click HERE!

Intro:

Another day, another team building activity between the demons and the exchange students. It was Diavolo’s idea to go on a camping trip to the human world (because of course it was), and there were very… mixed responses. That sentiment wasn’t helped when he refused Lucifer’s insistent pleas to just purchase cabins for everyone to stay in. Oh no, the Demon Lord wanted to rough it out in the wilderness, and now everyone else was getting dragged along with him…

Wonder how that turned out?

Lucifer

Really, really, really tried to push Diavolo to just rent out cabins in but noooo, he wasn’t having it... So he ended up driving a van crammed with his brothers, the MC, and a butt-ton of camping equipment into the Alaskan wilderness… 

The car ride itself was insufferable… We’re talking, “I SWEAR I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND!!” level of antics every 10 miles or so (mostly from Mammon)…

Setting up camp was even more of a nightmare because about half of his brothers were utterly useless. The other half (save Satan) were completely clueless… Had it not been for Barbatos and Satan he probably would have just resigned himself to the mercy of the river’s currents and let it take him away…

He couldn’t even wear his usual clothes because of the situation… For the first time in who knows how many centuries, he was stuck wearing jeans… Diavolo even bought him several plaid shirts... (which he was not happy with btw because his brother wouldn’t stop making fun of the “new” him)

He had his own tent of decent-size, enough to move around in but nothing to write home about. The very fact he didn’t have to share was a luxury in itself, so he took it for what it was worth...

He spent a good portion of the trip focused on two things: keeping Diavolo happy and everybody else alive. He rarely left camp unless forced to; he just wanted to get it all over with as soon as possible…

If he did leave, it was because Diavolo would drag him along to fish or hike. He was... less than pleased to be called out of his tent at the crack of dawn or well past dusk to sit on a little rented fishing boat with Diavolo… but he didn’t exactly pick his friends so...

He rates the trip Too Much Trouble/10. Let’s never do it again.

Mammon

Wasn’t a massive fan of being stuck out in the wild, but Satan told him some made-up bullshit about buried treasure out in the forest and got him HOOKED. He even borrowed stole a whole bunch of mining/digging equipment just for the occasion!

He spent most of the car ride asking, “Are we there yet??” like a child. The MC had to step in to keep Lucifer from leaving him on the side of the road at multiple points during the journey... 

He was one of the utterly useless ones when it came to setting up camp. Someone charged him with putting up the twin’s tent, and he spent thirty minutes reading (then re-reading) the instructions while shouting expletives. Poor Simeon had to shield Luke from the vulgarity…

He has to share a tent with Levi, which neither of them liked. Mammon mainly because of Levi’s “old fish stink” and Levi because he feared catching “Mammon’s stupid.”

He was all jazzed up to go digging from Day One, though. He’d have breakfast, grab his shovel, then wander out into the middle of nowhere to go dig holes in the ground…

He also got completely lost on Day One, and it took the MC summoning him with their pact to return him to the group... By that time, he was filthy and somehow looked like he had been castaway for days (even though he was gone for like, three hours?)

When he stubbornly refused to stop digging, Lucifer resorted to just tying a rope around his ankle and letting him loose. It was up to Mammon to get back to camp before dinner, or else Lucifer would yank him back like he was on a leash.

Satan waited until the last day to finally tell Mammon the treasure was bullshit, and he was PISSED. He even threw Satan into the river, which resulted in the rest of the brothers joining in for a swim while the two tried to “playfully” drown each other.

He’d rate this trip 0/10 because he didn’t get any buried treasure. What a ripoff…

Leviathan

Hated the idea with a burning, seething passion. There’s no internet, cable, electricity, or phone signal out in the middle of nowhere! How the heck is an otaku supposed to survive?!

He clung to his electronics during the car ride until either they ran out of signal or their battery died, then he didn’t know what to do with himself… He resorted to reading several volumes of the manga he stuffed into his bag and clung to the MC for emotional support…

Yet another useless soul trying to put the camp together. He was in charge of his and Mammon’s tent but ended up almost crying in frustration… How the hell do humans do this all on their own?? Wasn’t he supposed to be the third strongest?! Why is he so pathetic?!? 😫

Hates sharing a tent with Mammon because he always wakes up to the second born encroaching on his space somehow… Poor baby is pretty much directly against the tent wall and STILL has to deal with legs and elbows in his side... 😰

Spends the majority of the trip moping in the tent... If he goes out there, he has to deal with the sun, bugs, and people… No thanks. He only leaves for meals and occasionally to go swimming. 

When he found out part of the way through that Barbs brought portable solar panels and a battery pack for Diavolo and Lucifer’s phones, he was livid. He demanded access to the power source, which Lucifer refused because “It would defeat the purpose of this trip.”

He’d have summoned Lotan right then and there, deadass in the middle of the forest, if the MC hadn’t intervened. He then went back to moping, but now at the bottom of the lake and it took a lot of coaxing to get him back out…

On the final day, he was packing up the camp before anyone else even woke up. He wanted OUT and back to civilization ASAP. Bedroom here he comes!

Satan

You wouldn’t think of Satan as an outdoorsy guy. Still, he has shades of a survivalist in him (mostly because he’s read a lot of guides and was looking for an excuse to use them for a loooong time).

He read for the majority of the ride. He was squished between Asmo and Levi, which was reasonably peaceful. But he did end up shouting at Mammon quite a bit towards the end because “NO, we’re not there yet, peabrain!!”

He actually wasn’t a waste of space when setting up the camp, and between him, Barbs, and Lucifer, they were able to get a lot of stuff set up before sundown. He did have to bark a few orders to the others here and there, but overall competency won out in the end.

He shared a tent with Asmo, and the two made it work well enough… Except when Asmo did things like spraying his perfumes and dry shampoos, making it practically impossible to breathe in for a few minutes…

Spent a lot of the first few days reinforcing the camp to a ridiculous degree.

Did he have to collect large branches to build an exterior fence around the campsite? No. But he did.

Did he have to set up a water distillation system using some of the materials Barbs had lying around the “kitchen?” No. But he did.

Did he have to weave a series of fishing nets to catch them lunch from the lake and river? I think you get the point by now.

Only once he built pretty much every contraption or improvement he could think of, did he go back to just reading and relaxing by the fire.

By the time the group was ready to leave, Satan had somehow managed to craft them a veritable, self-sustaining fortress in the middle of the Alaskan wilds…

Overall he would rate the trip as… meh. Next time give him a challenge like a deserted island or an actual desert, and then he’ll really see what he can do.

Asmodeus

Was about as unhappy with the idea as Levi was… It wasn’t that he disliked the outdoors per se, it was just that no one, NO ONE, pulls off looking flawless after several days stuck in a tent!

He chatted the entire car ride from start to finish. He never stopped talking. It made for decent background noise at least…

Was one of the more clueless ones when trying to set up camp and pretty just did what he was ordered. The second he was left to try and figure something out on his own, he went to Lucifer or Satan for help because NOPE. Human equipment is needlessly complicated sometimes…

He had to share a tent with Satan, which in theory shouldn’t have been that bad, but Satan was out basically all day in the sun doing who knows what and would always come back sweaty and gross! At some points, he had to chase his brother out of the tent until he dunked himself in the river or something. No way was Asmo sleeping next to that. 😤

Asmo took the second-longest to get up and get ready in the morning. Sometimes he wouldn’t even leave the tent until well past breakfast just in an attempt to salvage his hair and skin… He only got grouchier about it as the trip went on… 😥

A more… earthy looking Asmo is kind of a bizarre sight. He’s still attractive, no doubt, but it’s less like polished glamour and more like Hollywood humble. He spent the majority of the trip looking like a somewhat dirtied movie-star (which he still insisted was the worst he’s ever looked in ages).

Aside from salvaging his looks, he actually enjoyed taking pictures of their surroundings or of the group (but not himself). He sometimes forgot how genuinely breathtaking the human world could be…

….but his patience for the place wore out quickly once he started noticing his hair getting greasy. He was right next to Levi, packing up the site once it was finally time to leave. At least those two finally found something they could agree on, let’s get the fuck out already! 

Beelzebub

He was really curious about trying camping food and pretty excited that Barbatos was coming, too (because that meant great food in general).

Unfortunately, Lucifer had to stop the van at basically every gas station they passed for Beel could refill on snacks… Belphie ended up getting buried in wrappers pretty often, but he was asleep, so it didn’t matter much.

Beel did a lot of the heavy lifting when setting the camp up, but the finer details were left up to everybody else. He had his hands full getting stuff off the cars as is…

Of course, he shared a tent with Belphie, and there wasn’t much complaint between them. Honestly, there would have been more drama if they were split, so this was the better option.

After the MC told Beel about fishing and how it could net him more food, if he did it right, he knew exactly what he wanted to do during the trip.

… But no one told him how long and slow the process would be. There were points he’d get so hungry he’d consider eating the bait himself…

That was until about Day Three of the trip when they passed by a river full of grizzly bears… He was about to ask the MC why the bears were all standing in the water, but then he saw a fish practically leap directly into one’s mouth…

Beel had discovered his true calling.

Of course, the grizzlies didn’t take too kindly to a demon suddenly sprinting into the water with them. They tried to fight him off, but Beel just tossed most of them downstream without any issue until they realized who the apex predator really was…

After forming a shaky truce with the bears, Beel would stand in the water for hours then come back with whole baskets full of salmon… There were far more fish than Barbatos knew what to do with, so he’d just confiscate a few then let Beel eat the rest...

The MC shuddered to think about what Beel had done to the local salmon population… But he was full and happy for most of the trip, so he had a great time!

Belphegor

Sleep for him isn’t too contingent on location, so the idea of camping wasn’t terrible. It did sound like a lot of hassle for no good reason, though…

He spent the entire car ride asleep, head and cow pillow pressed up against the window and everything. It wasn’t the most comfortable experience, but he’d dealt with worse.

He was utterly useless when putting up the camp by choice, thank you. He had more than enough sense to get things put together; he just didn’t want to. If he wasn’t asked to do something by Beel or the MC, he’d just lay back in the grass and smugly watch everybody else struggle…

Again, he and Beel are in the same tent, and you wouldn’t hear any complaints out of him. He did start to have some second thoughts when Beel began getting a fishy smell, though, so he tried to bunk with the MC in their tent for a while.

Like Levi, Belphie didn’t leave the tent much during the daylight hours, but that was because he was still asleep… There was no good way to wake him with no alarms available, so he’d sleep in past lunch easily.

When he was awake, he didn’t leave camp very much except to walk with the MC or watch Beel fishing grizzly-style.

Eventually, Asmo and Diavolo got sick of him dodging their photos, so they’d started posing him Weekend at Bernie’s style around the camp (always conveniently propped up by something and with sunglasses on)

Something Belphie did like, however, was the nighttime. Since there were no lights around, he could practically see everything the sky had to offer. He could spend hours laying on his back long after everyone else had gone to bed just admiring the stars.

All in all, not a terrible trip. Anything that could give him that view like that was well worth it. 6/10, would sleep again.

Click HERE for Part Two. Check out my Masterlist for more!

[tenskittens]

Not Enough - part 1.

Smut <3 Fluff <3 Angst (lots of angst) <3 sex, foreplay, ass, outdoor reader x Johnny pairing. Mentions of johnten pairing.

Not Enough - part 1 - the first part of the JohnTenReader saga.

Wordcount - 2.5k.

You chose to study at NCIT because you had heard that there were great opportunities in technology, and you knew coding was your strongest skill when you were younger. A few years into your time there, you realised that, whilst you were alright at computers and tech - especially for a girl, as some of the younger guys would frequently point out - you were nothing on the natural talent that seemed to have been bestowed upon most of the guys here. In fact, you’re pretty sure you only got a place on your course for some sort of diversity purpose, and the fraternity lifestyle you had ended up being dragged into certainly wasn’t helping your case. Going into your final year, it’s your last summer - you’ve been contemplating leaving the frat house - and the chaos that came with it - once the new semester started.

“Hyung, we’re leaving!” yelled Ten down to the rest of the house, dragging Yangyang out of the door with him. You knew he was yelling goodbye to his closest “friend” in the house, John Suh, and didn’t actually care about the rest of the frat boys hearing him. Ten just wanted to make John jealous because he was taking Yangyang out to one of the more inclusive bars in Itaewon. He initially planned on going out with Johnny tonight, just the two of them. But Johnny wasn’t really down for it today - he had thought he was supposed to be going out to a restaurant with just him and Ten, and when Ten suggested Itaewon John just presumed that it meant everybody else was invited out, too. These two were always getting into these complicated misunderstandings in their entangled feelings, and you’re pretty used to dealing with it by now. But actually, Ten was just as annoyed that Johnny wasn’t out with him tonight. He loves Yangyang, his closest Dongsaeng, but he wanted to spend tonight with Johnny. This whole situation was just a misunderstanding, but neither Johnny nor Ten realised this. “Bye guys!!” yelled Yangyang, excited for this rare occasion that he got to spend with Ten, now that Ten and Johnny were both all-but-dropped out of NCIT.

Once Yangyang and Ten had left, the house was quiet. The others were mostly working on assignments and projects, as they tend to do in the late evenings. Doyoung and Taeyong were probably upstairs bickering about the most efficient way of writing a code, Yuta almost certainly glued to his screen typing out a written assignment - the only one of the group also studying a language alongside computer science. Haechan, Jaemin and Mark were probably out at the student union Dream bar. That left just the two of you - you and John Suh - alone in the frat house.

“What’s up, Johnny?” you ask, putting on a slightly dramatic pout to try to invoke some sort of response from your most-likely-stoned-over best friend and boyfriend. “Nothing, y/n, just don’t ask” replied Johnny, sort of bluntly which took you by surprise. You wait in silence for a moment. “Except, look, I did my hair and makeup to go out with Ten and he just goes and turns our date into a party night and then I don’t even end up going and -” Johnny is interrupted.

“Date??”.

You both shoot your heads around, and sat in the corner of the living room, slumped against a beanbag in a hoodie that disguised any level of his presence, was Jae.

“Yeah bro, you know, was supposed to just be us guys tonight nothing out of the ordinary I jus-”. Jae interrupted again.

“John, you know how often i’m lurking in here and nobody notices me? You don’t need to cover this shit up with me”.

You and Johnny look at each other, and back at Jae. You wonder how much he knows. To the others, you and Johnny were basically a married couple, and Ten was your best friend. What they didn’t know was that, of everybody in the house, the most involved pair was certainly Johnny and Ten, and you didn’t mind that. You were best friends with both of them, and romantically involved with Johnny, but nothing made you happier than knowing how happy Ten and John - the two polar-opposite NCIT dropouts - were when they were together.

“Y/n, come outside with me a second?” asked Johnny, seeming genuinely stressed and upset.

Stood on the roof of the frat house, lined with bottles and scattered with cigarette ashes and joint ends, Johnny opens up to you.

“Y/n, Ten was so mad that I’m staying with you tonight, but I was so mad that he went out with Yangyang. There’s some shit going on here and I don’t feel comfortable and, you know, I really like you y/n but it seems - agh, whatever, that’s not true” - Johnny rests his hand against your cheek and looks down at you. “Y/n, I like you both, but its so hard keeping this shit with Ten a secret and shit like this always happens and y/n I’m so sick of coming to you being stressed and -”.

You raise your hand to Johnny’s cheek too, and brush his hair behind his ear.

“John, you’re so beautiful, you’re so fun. You’re the best friend - and boyfriend - that I could ask for”. He places a kiss on your forehead, and you look at him with wondering eyes, gazing into his dark irises and losing yourself for just a second, stood there under the night sky feeling safe in the arms of Johnny Suh.

What Johnny wanted to tell you, you know, is that he can’t really handle dating both of you anymore. But the thing is - you know that, and you understand that. Right now, though, you don’t want to accept that. You just want your best friends. Johnny seems anxious, and he mutters something you don’t quite hear, although you know for sure you heard an “I love you” slip from his soft, gentle lips. But Johnny isn’t one for romance - not for more than a few minutes. His vulnerable side is only ever present for you and Ten, and it’s always suddenly replaced with his intense energy and both caring, yet intimidating, control.

You didn’t realise John’s hand had moved to the band of your panties, and he had been playing with the lace for a while now. You tune in as you feel his passionate and dominating lips crash down on yours, pulling you in tightly and resting his palm across the small of your back. He drags his sharp, manicured nails across the line of your underwear, shocking you compared to the softness of the hands that were holding you close and tight. You’re feeling vulnerable and lost, knowing that you’re so close to having to let go of the man you love the most, and all you want to do is feel close to him. To submit yourself to him, and to be under his control and to feel his passion and his love, is all that can comfort you right now. Johnny feels the same - you both need eachother.

“Y/n, are you okay with this here?” Johnny asks you. The rooftop is pretty secluded - nobody was around and it was very unlikely anybody would appear up here at this time. It’s not necessarily the most comfortable of places, but the slight risk of being outside, practically in public, sort of turns you on even more, and you can tell Johnny is desperate. “Mhm, please Johnny, just have me” you whisper breathlessly, looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact with Johnny out of shame for how desperate you are for his touch. “Look at me, y/n,” Johnny commands. You look up at him, and he crashes back onto you, moving his hand back under your pants and roughly taking hold of your thigh as he holds the back of your neck with his other hand. You can feel how much he needs you, and you need him.

“So wet, y/n. So needy and yet so patient for me. Such a good kitten”. You shift under him as he finds your clit, gently feeling for where he knows he will get the strongest reaction from you. He’s right - you’re dripping for him. You’re just imagining him taking you against this wall, pressed up against the cold, rough bricks as you support yourself with the pipes running alongside the building. You already need him inside you, but he’s just playing with you - teasing your folds carefully and attentively, occasionally pausing to place kisses on your neck, breathing deeply onto your neck, his breath against your ear making you shudder. Each delicate kiss is followed by the movement of his fingers as he edges closer towards being inside of you, teasing you strongly enough to encourage you to play games with him in return.

You shift your stance to allow Johnny to grind himself against you, and you ensure your thighs place a decent pressure against the bulge in Johnny’s joggers. Johnny moans in pleasure and annoyance as you move against him, and - possibly to stop you from edging him closer to his own orgasm - he pushes his fingers deep inside you, causing you to draw in a sharp breath. He stays there, and looks at you with deep and wanting eyes. You return the action by grinding up against his bulge, which also moves his fingers deeper into you. Johnny takes this opportunity to curl them up, hitting your spot and letting out a mischievous “mhmm” as he does.

“Y/n, are you playing with me? You can’t win, you know that” Johnny announces playfully, with a tone of seriousness that reminds you who is in charge. Johnny rhythmically curls his fingers towards your spot, his thumb playing carefully with your clit, driving the little moans to slip out from between your lips, the sound landing in between the two of you and filling the atmosphere with a sense of vulnerable pleasure.

“Johnny, please, just fuck me here” you beg, the words tumbling from your mouth. Johnny’s eyes darken and he takes on his dominant tone once again. “Y/n, you’re so pathetic, look at you falling apart under my fingers”. He continues to edge you closer, grabbing your ass hard with his other hand, pressing your face into his chest and leaving you in blackness, lost in the pleasure and your quickening breaths as he curls his fingers over and over. You can feel how his other hand keeps you steady but, at the same time, he is ensuring that your leg continues to slightly ride against his bulge. Johnny needs you - his y/n, who wants him more than anybody else has ever wanted him. But he still feels hurt, and Ten crosses his mind again for a split second, frustrating him enough to pull out of you and flip you around, pushing you against the walls so he has full access to your ass. You take a moment to orientate yourself, looking over your shoulder to see Johnny stood there, his hair now sweaty and the veins in his arms pulsing. He looks so naturally beautiful, looking down at you with lustful eyes. You can tell from his expression that he’s feeling distracted and frustrated, and you don’t care. You just want him to take out his feelings on you. You want to feel vulnerable for him. Johnny feels your ass, pressing his thumb against your entrance. He bends over you and wraps his arms around your stomach, stroking your nipple for just a second before stopping, and simply holding you. With his head resting on your shoulder, he tells you “I do love you, y/n. I do”. You both stop there for a moment, heartbeats pounding in unison. Johnny is still holding himself, preparing to take you. “Do I get to come then, Mr Suh?” you ask playfully. And with that question, Johnny snaps back into his dominant position, guiding himself carefully into your pussy whilst still gently teasing your ass. He’s always gentle with you to ease you in, but you’re quite used to his size now so you push yourself back onto him. This catches him by surprise, clearly, as he lets out a tense moan and mutters “fuck you, y/n”. That was all he needed to know that he could take you harder, so he grabs your hips and fucks you, and you both moan together each time he pushes all the way into you.

You gasp for air, feeling johnny is now also moving his hand hard against your clit and driving you further and deeper into a blissful, well-deserved orgasm. You can feel the warmth of his precum, the extra lubrication heightening your senses as he doesn’t stop fucking you. “Fuck, y/n, I’m going to c- fuck, y/n, fuck” Johnny loses control of his words as he comes inside you, the feeling driving you to do the same, as your knees shake and you grasp onto the metal pipe that is stabilising your position. Johnny pulls out of you, and for a second stops to once again hold himself against you, feeling your hearts once again. But Johnny knows he doesn’t want to let you down, and he knows you haven’t finished yet. Within moments of his own orgasm, Johnny’s own lips hit your throbbing and sensitive clit, lapping up the sweet honey that you’re creating, and passionately licking and kissing around your clit. Your breath once again quickens as you feel yourself about to come - and John teases your ass again, just enough to send you over the edge. “Fuck, Johnny, there - yes, please Johnny”. “Sweet kitten, come for me” Johnny commands, and you come undone over his face, knees collapsing as your eyes roll back in bliss. He places steady kisses on your clit, your thighs, and up towards your nipples. He kisses your neck, past your ears, and finally places a kiss on your forehead. Right back where you started, you stand in the comfort of Johnny’s arms, under the stars.

You both stand there for a minute, breathless and warm, Johnny keeping you steady as your orgasm continues to pulsate gently through you. A tear rolls down your cheek as you think about how this can’t last for much longer - you know things are going to end one day. But you don’t want to lose a single part of Johnny, not as your boyfriend and especially not as your friend. You love him, and he loves you too.

“Y/n, shall we head back inside?” Johnny asks you, feeling you shivering from the cold nighttime air. His breath is warm, and his voice gentle and steady. “We should probably get some sleep”, he tells you. You shrug and hold him closer, but Johnny turns you around to head back inside. And when he does, standing there, right behind you and looking at the floor with a tear trailing down his cheek, is Ten.

Ah, fuck.

Read Part II here.

[annaizscribbling]

18 for the ask game ^_^

18. How does your OC feel about education? How much education do they have? Are they studious or a slacker?

Firstly, thank you for so many asks!!! This is so fun, you didn't specify one in particular so I'll do em all. Sorry this is so late

Athena: She’s complicated because she was an excellent student as a kid. She had almost perfect marks for her entire education, but it def ruined her. Between her parents, teachers, friends, and relatives, there was an immense pressure to be preform well that slowly created a very complicated relationship between herself and her achievements. She loves and supports learning and education, but doesn’t really like the current American education system, or the way kids in it are treated. She has a college degree in English that she utilizes as a full time author. In other words, she’s studious and completely burnt out lmao

Luna: Luna hated school. She hated being there, she hated talking to people, she hated being looked at, and she hated the pressure of tests and deadlines. She didn’t always hate the topics, she found science rad and didn’t mind a decent percentage of the books they had to read. Luna was pretty sharp, but her homelife greatly interfered with her grades. Teachers knew she was smart, but troubled, and both Luna and her mother managed to evade any real investigations. She switched rapidly from great student to terrible to great again

Bree: Okay Bree wasn’t exactly an attentive student. She’s pretty meh on education in general, do it girlboss or whatever idk sorta mood. She doesn’t really try unless she finds it interesting. She wasn’t much of a reader, she hated math, and she really just suffered through school until she had theater. She loved socializing and really loved when she had classes with Ellie, but she was a bit of a slacker in school.

Ellie: She was a hard worker in school, who greatly enjoyed group projects (insane I know) and art class (not that she was good at it) and she was always loved by her teachers and classmates. She’s really supportive of education and adapting it to the individual.

Calypso: Calypso sees education as mostly a tool. She was very smart, and picked up on things and the basics of modern education pretty easily, so school in general wasn’t too necessary. She doesn’t technically have a high school degree even (though she did attend college here in there on jobs. Excellent marks)

I’m throwing in the guys too why not.

Daniel: Enjoyed school more or less, loved playing football and volunteering through the school. He had pretty average marks and didn’t hate it, especially history class, he enjoyed.

Seven: Seven was an edgy little sht who was quite smart, but way too distracted by his own emo-ness. He was a loner going thru it, often too occupied to keep up with school. He struggled with connections and deadlines, making it hard to stay motivated in high school, but he thrived in college. Some therapy, some friends, and a ton of hard work helped him grow into a pretty well adjusted adult. Still emo (but like olive green emo, if u feel me) and just a chill dude. He looks back at the actual learning part pretty happily. He sucks at math tho.

Jonathan: Jonathan was shipped off to a fancy boarding school as a kid. He endlessly tried to escape and run off, to the point of getting sent home. He hated school, but mostly out of resentment towards his father. He ended up being some form of homeschooled, working with tutors and online work. He devoted many hours of his time to studying their massive library and could rarely be found without a textbook in his hands. He ended up graduating at 16 and moving out the following year, all out of pure spite. His views on education are complicated, and he knows he’s biased.