#good news: she did see jowan again and saw the good he was doing which helped her realise that sometimes

[nightingaletrash]

So what's the tea between Alistair and Solana? Why'd he leave her?

Well it mostly comes down to the whole 'putting Loghain through the Joining' thing.

Solana carried around a decent amount of guilt over the consequences of her actions in her origin, with Lilly being imprisoned in Aeonar and Jowan's poisoning of Eamon which led to Connor's whole deal. Rationally, she knew that shit was going to hit the fan no matter what she did, but as she accomplishes more and more as a Warden, it forces her to wonder if things really were that inevitable. Maybe if she'd fought harder, backed Jowan up more readily, they could have escaped without him resorting to blood magic. Or maybe she should have accepted the inevitability of the situation and just told Irving about the plan.

Either way, she carries an increasing sense of guilt that doesn't really lessen after she lets Jowan flee Redcliffe. So she buckles down on what Duncan taught her - that Grey Wardens do what they must, no matter how ugly, if it means stopping the Blight. So she gets her hands dirty working with Bhelen, she recruits every stripe of person and being that comes her way, and she always chooses what is best for Ferelden and not for herself.

Alistair, therefore, is a bit of an exception. He was someone with whom she felt safe and happy, where she wasn't just a mage or a Warden, just Solana. And that meant the entire world to her. It was the one concession she allowed herself to have against the Wardens, against inevitability.

But she knew how badly Alistair didn't want to be King, and wanted to try and find a work around for him so that his nightmare wouldn't have to come true. So imagine her luck when she's rescued Anora, freed from Fort Drakon, and is asked to have a private word with the Queen; Anora offers an alliance where Solana supports her bid for the throne, and asks that - if possible - she spare Loghain's life. It's not ideal, but Solana agrees that should Loghain stand down, she'll spare his life.

Now, Solana called a group meeting to tell the others about the arrangement, but Eamon insists that he needs to talk some things through with Alistair before the Landsmeet and so he's absent when the others discuss it. Meaning he's completely horrified when Solana not only spares Loghain, but acquiesces to Riordan's recommendation to make him a Warden.

And suddenly there's a hard line drawn in the sand - either she can be a lover and go against her deal with Anora to do as Alistair wishes, or be a Warden and uphold Duncan's principle that Wardens do as they must, not as they please.

And Solana chooses to be a Warden.

It wasn't something she did lightly. In fact, it was the hardest choice she'd made by tht point, and she even begged him not to leave. But he did anyway, leaving both of them heartbroken.

But Solana still carries a torch for Alistair. She put her foot down with Anora over the prospect of an execution, and now she searches for a cure for the Calling, not for herself and the Wardens, but for him. That the rest of them could be cured is simply a side benefit. She knows that she hurt him deeply and that he'll never forgive her, but if she can cure his Calling, then maybe he can at least live without an inevitable doom hanging over his head. And that alone would be enough for her.

As for how Alistair feels... I haven't quite decided yet. Still hurting, still yearning. Not able to forgive her, but not able to forget her either.

It's complicated for him, and quite simple for her, so all in all, it's very messy.

[kiastirling-fanfic]

Happy Friday! For your mage Amell/Alistair, perhaps "‘they take what they want, and in return they give you only shackles.’"?

I like that everyone is choosing violence tonight.

Here's some Robin and Alistair having way too deep of conversations on watch.

cw for Chantry abuses/religious trauma

@dadrunkwriting

“What happened to you to make you despise the Circle so?” Alistair’s question almost made her drop the stick she’d been using to prod the fire back to life. “Ro?”

“Sorry Ali, I just- I wasn’t expecting that. Why do you ask?” Robin tried her best to swallow around the lump in her throat, but it was hard. She did her best not to think of the Circle at all since her conscription, going so far as to keep that treaty at the bottom of the pile. Not that that mattered considering it turned out they needed the mages sooner rather than later. Apparently Alistair had noticed.

“Well, you did seem to give serious consideration to allowing your friend to do blood magic on the Arlessa for one thing.” She could practically hear the disapproval in his voice. But she hadn’t! Jowan was keeping watch on the possessed little lordling and no one was blood magicking anyone. “So, do you want to talk about it?”

Damn him. He was so good at being sweet and sarcastic and goofy all the time, but Robin couldn’t forget him being a mabari in human form wasn’t just the puppy-dog eyes, it was the smarts too.

She… probably shouldn’t let him know that she was comparing him to her dog in terms of intelligence. He’d surely have a good quip for it.

“I can’t say that I do,” Robin said, even as she tucked a frizzy curl behind her ear. Jowan would have known it was a nervous gesture of hers, but Alistair hadn’t known her for over a decade like Jowan did. They’d only met a month ago. In truth he barely knew her at all. “But I’m guessing you’ll just find new ways to ask if I rebuff you again.”

“I wouldn’t- well, no you’re probably right,” Alistair’s smile was of the sweet variety. “But I won’t force you. Tell me what you want to tell me, at the pace you want. You already know my deepest darkest secrets after all, it’s hardly fair.”

“Cute.” And he was. Even when he was needling her about things she didn’t want to talk about, he was adorable. It was infuriating. “Alright, fine. To start with, I basically grew up in that tower. Everyone I’ve ever known is there it feels like.”

“Everyone? Are your parents mages, too?”

“Oh void no. That’s basically illegal. At least to the Chantry, which is the worst kind of illegal.” Not an aeonar level of offense, but if they ad been mages they never would have so much as gotten to hold her. “I’ve heard rumors but- no, any relations like that are strictly forbidden, and anyone breaking those rules is very careful about drinking tea very often. No, my parents are the good and upright Lord and Lady Amell. Not landed mind you, no position in the landsmeet, but noble enough for the rest of the trappings. And I hear I have an uncle with an estate in the Marches. The last time I saw either of them was the day they handed me over to the templars.”

If Alistair paused then and clutched at the pendant they’d found on the Arl’s desk, she didn’t comment. He knew that feeling well enough at least. His first time seeing Arl Eamon since he was taken to templar training was with the man in his sick bed, and they still didn’t know if he’d ever wake up. There were bigger concerns to handle considering the possessed child and hordes of undead.

Of course, Robin hadn’t seen her parents since either, and she didn’t expect to. She didn’t even know if they were alive, truth be told, but even if they were they stopped considering her their daughter when she caught the drapes alight.

“Right. So everyone I know is in the same tower we’re headed toward. And most of them are awful. Jowan was fine but he’s a maleficar now and I assume he’s going to be sent to Aeonar or made Tranquil unless you know how to make the Joining Soup?”

“You know I don’t,” Alistair snorted. He took up the task of stoking the fire, leaving Robin her hands so she could talk properly.

“Exactly. So even as a Warden I’ve no power to save him. There’s a few good ones in there, but the way you get raised it- well it twists you, I think. And it twisted me, and I’d like to untwist myself now I’ve the chance. Forced to sing the Chant twice a week, about our own weakness and how magic can’t rule over man but then we’re supposed to bend over backwards and do everything asked of us. And if we don’t they just do a ritual, give us a brand, and suddenly we can’t say no anymore and I- I hate it. I really hated it there.”

“They take what they want, and in return they give you only shackles.”

Robin whipped her head away from the fire, but Alistair was smiling. Not his sweet smile or his sarcastic smile or his goofy smile, a new one. Closer to a grimace honestly. It fit with his tone.

“How did you-”

“I was sent to train with the templars. You know that. I told you where templars get their power from, didn’t I? I can do the basics without lyrium, but it’s nothing compared to real templars. Duncan got me out before I could take my vows, and that’s exactly how it felt. Only they would have turned me on you, wouldn’t they? If he hadn’t picked me up I’d be in that tower same as you, but I’d be the way holding the sword at your neck if you didn’t do what you were told.”

“You might not have.” But he would have. Most recruits did a stint in a Circle at minimum, only the noble born ones with parents who cared about them despite being second sons or lower were exempt. Most any Chantry had a few templars who kept guard and could wrangle any child unfortunate enough to be a mage.

She couldn’t picture Alistair there, couldn’t picture him carousing with Rutherford or submitting himself to Greagoir’s orders.

“I’m just saying, Ro, I understand. Not all of it of course, but that much I do.”

When Leliana and Sten relieved them of their watch, Robin’s eyes stayed glued to Alistair’s back until he was safely within his tent.

Wardens, prisoners of the Chantry, undesired until the moment the world would fall without them.

They had so much in common.

[procrastinatingnerd]

Hi everyone! So this was my first time taking part in the @osemanversebigbang but I had so much fun!! I can't wait to read everyone's entries! 💜

Title: Angel Rahimi And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Lunch Break

Characters: Angel, Juliet, Rowan, Jimmy, Lister, Bliss, two of Angel’s future uni friends (OCs).

Spoilers? Minor spoilers of important events in “I Was Born For This”.

Word Count: 3.6k

Ships: Bicci, one joke about Juliet/Rowan.

~Joan of Arc (Probably)

“I am so fucking tired”

“Right, time’s up, put your pens down.” The exam officer says from the front of the room. I scribble one last sentence before my hand gives out, and I all but throw my pen onto the desk, sighing as dramatically as I can. This week is a fucking nightmare. Exams and assignments are the piss. Fuck uni, I’m ready to drop out. Or drop dead. Either works, honestly.

As I leave the exam hall, I walk past some people from the students’ union. They’re handing out flyers for the Christmas ball next week. My housemates are all planning on going, but my friends and I planned our present swap for that night, so we’re going to spend it eating a fuck ton of snacks and watching the cheesiest Christmas films we can find. I can’t wait, I bought them each a bag of their favourite sweets from the American candy shop, it's going to be so much fun!

But that’s next week. Right now, all I want is to sit at a table that doesn’t have an exam paper on it, and eat something very greasy and very unhealthy. There’s a pizza place just on the edge of campus, run by some of the culinary arts students, and they make the best sauce ever. It’s pretty cheap too, which makes it a favourite for most people, especially at the end of a semester, when everyone’s bank accounts are running low.

I have about an hour until I need to be back in the exam hall, so I take full advantage of the outdoor seating and collapse into a chair after ordering. My pizza is brought out to me not long after, and I breathe in the smell. Nothing has smelt more gorgeous than the slices sitting in front of me. It’s a surprisingly warm day, for December at least, and for a moment, everything feels calm. I can hear a bird singing in a tree somewhere, other students are hanging around campus, most with their noses in their phones or in textbooks, and I actually let myself relax for a bit. I’ve done all the revision I can for this next exam, and I’m in desperate need of a break. I deserve this.

I pick up my first slice of pizza, and bring it up to my mouth. As I’m about to take a bite, however, my phone rings. I put the pizza down with a sigh and answer the phone without looking at who’s calling. Mum probably sensed I wasn’t doing any work, and is calling to check up on me.

“Hello?” I say tiredly.

“Angel, hi! Is this a good time??” I grin at the sound of Juliet’s voice.

“Hell yeah, it’s a perfect time! What’s up?”

“Wait, you don’t know why I’m calling?” Juliet says hesitantly. Shit. What have I forgotten now? I know it’s not her birthday. Wait, is it mine?? I swear exams rot your brain, have I actually forgotten my own birthday?

“No…?” I ask after internally monologuing for way too long.

“Oh my god, you don’t know??” Juliet screeches in my ear, “Angel go look at your phone, it’s urgent!”

Now very concerned, I put Juliet on speaker and, for the first time all morning, actually read the notifications filling my lock screen. I open the Twitter news one, and my mouth drops open in shock.

“Holy shit.”

On my screen is a news article with a headline that reads, “THE ARK’S JIMMY KAGA-RICCI AND LISTER BIRD’S SECRET RELATIONSHIP EXPOSED”, and just below it sits a large photo of Jimmy and Lister, standing outside a pub, kissing. I don’t believe it.

“Holy fu- Hold on a second. Mate, isn’t that the pub by Piero’s house?!” I say, bringing my phone as close to my face as I can, as if that’ll help me see better. There’s a loud shuffling noise on the other end of the line, and then I hear a gasp.

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Juliet says. “Rowan said they were going on holiday, but I thought he meant abroad or something.” I smile at that. Ever since our little jaunt to Kent last summer, Juliet and I have kept in touch with the boys. We even have a group chat now; us and them and even Bliss is in it. I’m so glad we stayed friends.

At first, Rowan was really quiet, and if he did speak he and Juliet would almost always end up arguing, but they’ve been getting along quite well lately. I’m not saying I ship it or anything, I’ve learnt my lesson there, but I have to say, fangirl-to enemies-to lovers would make a wicked fanfiction trope.

“Did you see any of this coming?” Juliet continues. “Surely Jimmy would have said something to you?”

“He said he was dating someone, but didn’t want to give details because they were taking things slow. Well, that and that celebrity phone hacking scandal freaked him right the fuck out, remember?” I say.

"That's

right, he stopped talking on the group chat for like two weeks, didn’t he?” Juliet giggles back. “Well, nevertheless, I’m happy for them. They’re cute together.”

“Yeah, they are.” I grin again. “Oh my god, poor Rowan though! I’d hate to live with a couple, especially a new one! It’d be nauseating.”

“Oh I know, right? And imagine what’ll happen when they have their first fight!” Juliet gasps again. I shudder at the thought.

“I’m muting the group chat when that happens.” I joke.

“Not a bad idea.” Juliet laughs back, then pauses. “Oh, Angel, I’m sorry I’ve got the get going, but do you want to skype later?”

“Yeah, no problem! I’ve got a revision session at 6, but I should be free by 9ish?”

“Sounds perfect! See you then!” Juliet says, and with that, she’s gone, and I’m back to sitting alone with my pizza.

Jimmy and Lister. Holy shit. I don’t think anyone in the fandom saw this coming. Everything has been about Jowan, since the fandom started growing it’s the only ship that ever existed. No one bothered writing fics about any other pairings. The only Jimmy/Lister fics I ever came across were platonic ones, and even they made sure to mention Jimmy’s boyfriend Rowan.

Oh god, I hope they’re okay. The fans got so crazy when Bliss and Rowan’s relationship was exposed. Jimmy/Lister is the final nail in the Jowan coffin. Jimmy must be having the panic attack of his life! I’ve got to-

My phone rings again.

I look down at the screen, and see Jimmy’s name. I take a deep breath, and answer.

“Jimmy, hi! How are-”

“Have you seen it??”

“Yes.”

“Oh god. This isn’t how we wanted to tell you guys.”

“You sure? Because getting caught by the national press worked so well for you last time.” I tease. Silence. Oops, probably not the best thing to remind him of right now.

“Jimmy, you still there?” I say carefully. There’s a slight rustle on his end, which means he probably just nodded. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise. The fans will move on. They already did with Jowan, right?”

“But what if something happens again? Something like-”

“It won’t. You guys have better security now, and you’re doing less public events. You’re going to be fine.” I hope and pray that I’m saying the right things. Jimmy and I have gotten close lately, but I’m nowhere near as good at helping him deal with his anxiety as Rowan and Lister are. There’s more silence, until finally, Jimmy speaks again.

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah I think you’re right. Thanks, Angel.”

“Course I’m right! If there’s one thing I know, it’s fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs, and I grin back. “And don’t forget, you’re not alone in this. This is happening to Lister too, and no doubt Rowan and Bliss will be there to help you. Just talk to them.”

“Thank you Angel, I’ll go do that now.”

“Perfect! Love you Jim, I’ll text you later.” I say, and the call ends.

He’ll be okay. He’s got too many people who love him not to be. I take another breath and put my phone down on the table. As soon as I do, however, it buzzes again, and I see Jimmy is trying to facetime me. Now very concerned, I answer it and hold the phone up so he can see my face properly.

“Jimmy, are you okay, what’s happened??” I ask anxiously, but he looks fine. He looks at me with a confused expression.

“Nothing, I’m just talking to the others, like you said.” He says. It’s only me and him on the call. I stare at him in silence for a moment.

“Jimmy, mate… I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not any of them” I say slowly, and to my surprise, Jimmy laughs.

“Yeah I know, but I was kind of hoping to have you here, too, if that’s okay?” He says sheepishly. “It’s okay if you’re busy, it’s just that… I don’t know, you’re good with this stuff and you make me feel calm? Sorry, I know that’s a lot to just dump on you.” Jimmy doesn’t look at me directly, and I start to feel tears in my eyes.

“Well damn, Jim, I guess if you truly love me that much, I can stick around for a bit.” I laugh, and quickly glance at the time. “My lunch break is only halfway over, anyway, so I have plenty of time to hang out while you talk to the others.”

Jimmy seems to let out a breath, like he’d been holding it, and grins.

Just as I’m about to start talking again, I hear a ping, and Lister’s face appears on screen, followed by Rowan and Bliss.

“Hey Jimjam, you okay?” Rowan asks, looking as calm as ever. “Oh hey Angel.” He adds. I give him an awkward smile.

“Wait, Angel's here?” Bliss interrupts before Jimmy can answer. “Nice, how’s the week from hell going? Didn’t think we’d hear from you until you’d made it through.”

“Yeah it’s rough, but I’m getting there. This is a welcome distraction though.” I grin at her.

“So you’ve seen the pictures then. They look good, right?” Lister chimes in, before correcting himself. “I mean, it’s horrible they found us, fucking pricks, but you’ve got to admit we look good.”

“You can be so self-centred sometimes.” Bliss laughs.

“Come on Lister, this isn’t a joke.” Rowan chides him.

“Well, I guess he isn’t wrong..” Jimmy mumbles nervously and I see him smile a bit.

“See, Jimmy agrees with me!” Lister argues back at Rowan, who rolls his eyes.

“It’s still not something to laugh about.” Rowan says firmly. “Cecily’s already on damage control, cancelling some events, beefing up the security at others, and giving the tabloids hell. She’s also let your grandad know, Jimmy.”

“Wait, aren’t you guys all down there already?” I ask, confused.

“Nah we got back last night. That picture was taken when we went out for lunch the other day. Took their time printing it.” Lister says.

“Probably needed time to pad out their articles. Seriously, how can they write so many pages about two people dating?” Bliss adds.

“Probably whining about how Jowan is now well and truly dead.” Rowan rolls his eyes again. “Although I have to say, I’m pretty happy about that part.” I cringe slightly as he says that. I will never not regret being one of the Jowan fangirls.

“So Cecily’s already got a plan? That’s good, that’s a bit of a relief.” Jimmy speaks up, looking visibly more relaxed than he had sounded over the phone earlier.

“Yeah she’s got it sorted, so we can start planning our Christmas party!” Lister says, making the others groan.

“Lister what the hell makes you think we should be throwing a massive fucking party right now?!” Rowan says, his voice growing louder. Lister goes quiet, looking like he wants to shrink into his seat, before eventually speaking up again.

“Look, it doesn’t have to be anything big, I just mean… Angel, you’re gonna be in London with Juliet, right? Come over, drag Bliss with you, Jimmy can invite his grandad, Rowan you can bring Jade, and there you go, that’s our party!”

“That’s...actually a good idea.” Rowan says, surprised.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun!” Jimmy adds.

“I’m up for it, Angel, do you think Juliet will wanna come?” Bliss says.

“Hell yeah she would, let’s do it!” I reply with a massive smile on my face. Partying with Bliss and the boys sounds like the best way to spend my Christmas London trip. I’ll make sure to tell Juliet about it when I talk to her later. As I start planning all the food I’m going to bring over, and wondering what the boys’ flat will look like at Christmas, the conversation starts up again.

“You sure you’re doing alright, Jimmy? I can come back home if you need me to.” Rowan says, focusing things on the issue at hand again.

“No no, don’t worry, stay with your family. They’d kill me if I made you miss out on spending time with them.” Jimmy jokes. “I’ve got Lister here, and Cecily’s number if I need it. My head isn’t giving me too much grief right now, anyway.”

“Wait, Lister, you’re there with him?” Bliss asks.

“Yeah, check it out!” Lister says, before picking up his phone and moving. He takes us out of what I think was his room, through a hallway and comes out into a large living room, where we can see Jimmy on a sofa looking at his phone. “Say hi to the chat, Jim!”

Everyone laughs as Jimmy gives an awkward wave to Lister’s phone. Lister then hangs up and launches himself into view of Jimmy’s screen, and the two shuffle about until they’re practically sitting on top of each other, faces

squished together so the tiny phone camera captures them both. I hate how cute they look together.

“Alright, if you’re sure, Jimmy,” Rowan says, smiling for probably the first time this whole call.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Jimmy smiles back. “This whole situation is terrifying, and I’m more than ready to hide in my room and not see another mad fangirl for the rest of my life, but... if I did that we’d never get to hang out with Angel again.” He finishes, biting his lip as if unsure of whether or not the joke will hit.

“Uh..ouch!” I clap my hand on top of my heart dramatically and laugh, while the others join in. “I’ll have you know I’ve abandoned my fangirl ways. Mostly. Sort of. Okay, not completely but I’m not shipping real people anymore, so that’s something, right?!”

Lister is giving Jimmy a look of what I can only assume is pride for making a decent joke during a time of peak anxiety, Rowan has his head in his hands, probably contemplating his life choices now that Lister seems to be rubbing off on Jimmy, and Bliss still looks shocked that such a joke came out of Jimmy’s mouth, not Lister’s. When things calm down again, I check the time and speak up again.

“Well this has been fun Jim, but I’m afraid I have mad fangirl duties to be getting back to. Shrines to build, fanfiction to write, you know how it is.” I say sarcastically.

“Thanks again, Angel, for being here, and listening. And you’d better be right about that fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs again, although this time I see his smile falter a bit.

“Hey, look at me,” I say, moving as close to the screen as I can without squishing my face on it. “Things will settle down before you know it, in the meantime, we’re all here for you. You’re not alone in this.” Rowan and Bliss nod in agreement, and I see Lister hug Jimmy closer. Jimmy takes a breath and nods as well.

“Thanks Angel. And good luck with your exam. We’ll see you over the holidays.” He smiles.

“Yeah you got this Angel, go smash it!” Bliss chimes in, giving me a thumbs up and a grin. I say one last goodbye to them all, and hang up.

I look back down at my pizza, still uneaten. I need to stop letting myself get distracted during phone calls. I can eat and talk to my friends at the same time. I’m usually a master at it.

“Fereshteh!” I look up again. Either I’m going loony, or someone just said-

“FERESHTEH!” I turn around and see Mollie and Christina barrelling towards me, with the most excitement I’ve ever seen on a students’ face during exam season. They crash into my table and both start talking at once.

“Have you seen??”

“Did you know??”

“How long have they been together?!”

“Oh my god is this why you won’t tell us about what happened in Kent?!”

“Woah, easy on the interrogation! Seriously, you guys need to work on your interview skills.” I put my hands up in surrender and laugh. Mollie rolls her eyes at me.

“So? Did they tell you or what?” She asks again. I roll my eyes back at her.

“You know I don’t want to tell you guys anything about the boys. They trust me, and I’m not going to fuck that up because of some shit a tabloid prints.”

“How dare you appeal to our morality and ethics, we want gossip dammit!” Christina giggles, lightly banging her fist down on the table.

“Then stick to the Twitter pages.” I stick my tongue out at her. Mollie and Christina are two of my housemates, and are part of the Ark fandom. I never planned on telling them about Kent, but they figured out who I was thanks to the pictures of me and Jimmy on the train. I didn’t think you could tell it was me, but fangirls are like master detectives. They figured it out in less than a week. They haven’t told anyone though, they’re good mates.

“So how are you feeling about all of this? Whether you knew or not, having it out in the press like this is a lot to handle, especially after last time.” Mollie says, now in serious mode.

“It is a lot, definitely, but they’ll be fine. They’ve had this happen before and they know what to expect from the fans. I just wish I could be there for them.” I say, sitting back in my chair.

“I get

that, it must suck that you guys are so far apart now.” Christina chimes in.

“I mean it’s not like we ever lived close to each other before. The only reason we even crossed paths over the summer was because I was staying with a friend. But yeah, being away from them all is kind of hard sometimes.” I sigh dramatically, making Mollie and Christina grin.

“Are you going to visit them over Christmas?” Christina asks.

“I’m definitely going to visit my friend in London again, for a day or two, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to see the boys.” I quickly lie. “They cut back on public events but they’re still really busy most of the time. And this,” I gesture to my phone “definitely won’t help.”

“We’ll keep an eye on fandom updates for you, and try to shut any mentions of Jowan down,” Mollie says, reaching across the table and giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I squeeze hers back and give her a grateful smile. I mostly stopped interacting with the fandom after meeting the boys, reading fanfiction, and discussing theories with other fans just feels weird and creepy to do when the people you’re talking about are your friends. So it’s nice that I have Mollie and Christina looking out for them, and doing what I can’t. Christina has a pretty big following on Tumblr, and Mollie’s a Twitter ace, so I trust them to hold their ground with the fandom.

“Okay, you don’t have to give us any details, but genuinely, what do you think of Lister and Jimmy as a couple? Because I don’t think the fandom could handle a breakup.” Christina says after a while, making me laugh.

“Pfft, yeah I don’t think the boys could handle a breakup, either.” I smile. “But honestly? I think they’ll be good for each other. Lister is good at helping Jimmy relax and step out of his anxiety bubble, and Jimmy can help reign in Lister’s chaotic energy. Plus they’re freaking cute together, I mean just look at this picture!” I finish, gesturing dramatically to my phone again.

“They are so cute!” Mollie nods in agreement. “I’m actually shocked no one thought to ship them together before.”

“That’s the Jowan storm, for you,” Christina adds. “Can’t believe we ever shipped that.”

“So gross.” I shudder at the thought. Suddenly the alarm I’d set this morning went off, making us all jump.

“What’s that?” Mollie asks. I check the screen and practically leap out of my seat.

“Oh shit, my exam starts in 10 minutes!” I say, gathering my stuff up as quickly as I can. I say my goodbyes to Mollie and Christina and start running back across campus to the exam hall.

I make it just in time, much to the invigilator’s chagrin, check my bag in at the desk at the back of the hall, and collapse into my assigned seat. The exam starts, and it’s only when it does that my stomach reminds me that I never actually ate lunch. Shit.

I start to silently scold myself for being so stupid, when my mind starts drifting to the video chat with Jimmy and the others. He and Lister looked so comfortable with each other. Makes sense, they've known each other for so long. But even still, Jimmy looked so much happier once Lister sat down with him, and Lister himself practically seemed at home with Jimmy’s arms wrapped around him. I smile at my exam paper.

I’m so happy for them.

[sadghostdyke]

im writing an all-origins-survive dragon age fix it and here are the character bios!!

Damian Cousland- a sword-shield warrior who falls for Zevran. He doesn't understand a lot of what the others have gone through (Zev's experience as a slave, Adrian's poor experiences with humans, Kit's distaste for stupid shems, Miri and Lyanna's experience with templars, Naya's instinctive self-devaluing, Alistair's experience in the Chantry and his child abuse) but he still makes an effort to understand and learns a lot over the course of the story. He's very flustered by Zevran at first but makes a concerted effort to help him when things get rough. Post-DAO, he and Zevran go and take out the Crows and wear cool matching outfits doing it (it's mostly for Zevran's dramatic flair, because Damian would never do that on his own, but for the love of his life? of course). They settle down in Antiva, though they take a brief trip to the Free Marches to see the Amells and give them news of their second cousin. They help save baby Crows and adopt them. (Currently they have three kids, all Crow escapees.)

Adrian Tabris- a dual wielding rogue who finds himself in love with Alistair. He was named for his mother Adaia, and Cyrion often finds himself looking at his son and wanting to weep because he can see his mother in him. Adrian was sexually assaulted by humans when he was around fourteen. When he saw what was going to happen to Shianni, he leapt to her defense, wanting to save someone in the way he wasn't able to. He & Alistair love each other very much. Others would be upset to be only the King's consort, but Adrian is delighted that he can help the alienage with Alistair. He and Anora do most of the ruling, and they respect each other quite a bit- after all, Adrian is the one who introduced her to Shianni :) 

Kitranelle Mahariel- an archery-based rogue, Kit found herself falling for the mysterious Morrigan who also grew up away from humans and therefore has a more disdainful view of them. She has the vallaslin of Elgar'nan, and received it right before Tamlen died :( She used to be in a polyamorous relationship with Tamlen and Merrill that fell apart when Tamlen was taken, and she swore not to leave her heart unguarded again. She told herself that her relationship with Morrigan was just flirting, just kissing, just sex, until... it wasn't. Kit has quite a bit of trauma regarding humans, who took her father and killed her mother, and she's not prone to trust. The only one she ever particularly liked was Duncan, and he wasn't that kind at first either. She becomes a lot more open to humans during the Blight, and she's especially close to Lyanna. She did the Dark Ritual with Morrigan. Post-DAO, she tracks down Morrigan with the help of a hunter from the Brecilian forest (Ariane) and a circle mage friend of Lyanna and Miri's (Finn) and escapes with Morrigan and Kieran, who she spends the next decade raising alongside her wife.

Lyanna Amell- a Mage (obviously) focused on the entropic school and the Spirit school. She's been in love with Miri Surana since she was old enough to understand the concept. Their relationship is modeled a little bit off Steve/Bucky (aka the 'hoe don't do it' meme) and Lyanna is Bucky in this scenario, constantly apologizing for Miri being loud and quicktempered and just. All that. She wasn't aware that Cullen had a crush on Miri, because she didn't WANT to believe, because she didn't know Cullen had a crush on both of them. (Cullen likes Lyanna because she's a Good Mage, and she's so Kind and Sweet and he thinks she would actually like him back (lol she's a lesbian so no). His... infatuation with Miri is much more "i'm going to break her" and it's pretty obvious when you're looking for it.) She was best friends with Jowan, and Miri was best friends with Anders. She has a bad back from a punishment she received as a child when she hadn't learned how to be Quiet like a good mage (that incident is part of what led her to become really focused on being Good Enough). It never healed right, and she needs poultices to get through the day during the Fifth Blight with all the combat. Post-DAO, she becomes the Warden-Commanders of Amaranthine alongside Naya Brosca and Miri Surana. Post-DAA, she and Miri get married and run from the Chantry, sending Velanna and Sigrun letters as they go.

Miri Surana- a mage focused on the Primal school and the Creation school. She was stolen from the Dalish as a child, and the templars found her when she was playing with ink and with paint marks on her face in the shape of vallaslin (she wanted to have the marks of June because her parts were both craftspeople). She’s always wondered whether she’d be able to get them done someday, after learning of how they found her, and she decided to glamour vallaslin on her face (she wouldn't make it permanent because she was afraid she’d get it wrong and then she’d be rejected if she ever met a Dalish) in honor of her heritage. She couldn’t do it in public because she’d get punished for it, but she did it TONS in private. Anders was her best friend (they fooled around once, but Miri told him she was a lesbian immediately after and Anders was like am I that bad? lol) Speaking of punishment, Miri got punished for a LOT, because she never shut up. She has a broken ankle that healed wrong and so she needs her staff to walk sometimes. She was sexually assaulted by a templar and at one point entered an ill-advised poorly-conceived relationship with Cullen under the wraps before ending it when he got Weird and he's been murder-lusting after her ever since. Lyanna did not know about this, she just thought Miri was having sex with a templar. It's ... fucked up. She became one of the Warden-Commanders of Amaranthine with Lyanna (who, by the way, is the love of her life and that which grounds her.)

Naya Brosca: a casteless dwarf, dual wielding rogue, who ended up working for the Carta. She did it for her sister and her mother. Naya copes for her low self-esteem using humor, and her life really sucks. She has a complicated relationship with the Stone as a religion and hates the Ancestors. She fell for Leliana, who introduced her to Andrastianism, which broadened Naya's faith- Naya still believes in the Stone, but she also believes in the Maker. Her mother is a drunk and Naya was verbally and physically abused as a child. She tried her best to protect Rica, who in turn protected Naya from becoming a noble-hunter, which was her worst nightmare. Naya is a dual-wielding rogue but mostly she focuses on lock-picking and theft, because hey, gotta survive, amiright boys? She and Vyrim have a rivalry going on because Vyrim is an Heir, stone-blessed, and Naya is a Casteless, and they originally have it out for one another. Eventually they learn to trust each other, but there's always some level of apprehension between them because of their upbringings. Naya becomes a Warden-Commander post-Blight.

Vyrim Aeducan- greatsword-wielding warrior, the middle child of Endrin Aeducan, a very schmoozy kind of person, who got the Assembly in their pocket but never anticipated Bhelen's betrayal. They loved their brother Trian but were closer to Bhelen and believed him when he said "oh yeah, he'll kill you (and me, too)" because they grew up trying to protect their brother. That.... backfired. Vyrim is the oldest of the group at around forty, so they don't get into a relationship with anyone because UH excuse you, you're all BABIES compared to them. They have the dwarf tattoo that has dots around the eyes? i love it. They are prejudiced against the Casteless but learn Not to be after confronted with the reality of what happens against Casteless in Orzammar. They returned to the Grey Wardens and stayed there... for a time.

Those are my DAO ocs! i love them!

[queen-scribbles]

Small Kindnesses

Filling this prompt from @dapromptexchange with Inquisitor!Jowan because I love the disaster mage (and his slow-burn romance with a certain lovely ambassador) entirely too much.

Josephine was not a woman given to bad habits, but a terrible sleep schedule was one of which she would be found guilty. She couldn’t help it; there was a lot to do and only so many hours in a day. Of course she stayed awake for as many as possible. There were invitations to send, to accept or reject(politely, of course), contracts and letters to read, always so many reports from Le- the Inquisitor’s ventures. The list was near-endless and never got any shorter.

She set down the letter she’d been reading--a rambling river of flattery from an obsequious duke who thought himself more clever than he was--and rubbed her eyes. She needed a break, before she laughed loudly enough to rouse half of Skyhold at the man’s attempt to manipulate them.

Five minutes, Josephine promised herself as she picked up another letter. Five minutes more and I’ll take a real break. Go get some tea, or go to bed, or something... Her gaze ran over the papers stacked on her desk, piled higher than she allowed during the day, lest the Inquisitor think she was overworked. (She wasn’t, really, but she knew how it looked and she didn’t want him to worry. Maker only knew what mishaps might come from him being distracted.) There really was so much to do; maybe she should say ten more minutes.

Her eyes burned in the flickering candlelight and Josephine shook her head. No. Five. I know my limits.

Now if she could just fend off the exhaustion and doubled vision for those five, that would be wonderful.

                                                   ~~<>~~

For once, it wasn’t the nightmares that pulled him from sleep. It was, instead, the needle-sharp pain blazing through his hand. Levyn woke damp with sweat and curled in a ball around the sickly green glow from the Anchor. It conjured ugly memories of the last time his hand hurt this badly, and suddenly he was fighting to not slip into oblivion on two fronts.

Just breathe. The reminder came in a familiar but long-absent voice, cutting through pain and self-recrimination just enough for him to listen.

Slow breaths, in and out. First through clenched teeth, and then his nose as the pain slowly faded. Once it had mostly subsided, he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. The cool stone under his feet grounded him still further, and he raked his unmarked hand through his hair. Sleep would be a long time returning, if it did at all. And previous experience hinted the odds of that were low.

The Mark pulsed with lingering pain and Levyn winced. He really didn’t feel like laying here, awake, the rest of the night, waiting to see if his hand was going to erupt in unrivaled agony again. If he was honest, he didn’t feel like being alone at all.

But who’d be up this late to tolerate the Inquisitor’s insomnia? he wondered skeptically, rubbing at the beginning of a headache.

Josephine might be, a little voice prompted. She’s always working, maybe she’s burning midnight oil.

His face heated and he curled the marked hand into a loose fist. I wouldn’t want to bother her if she’s busy, he argued with himself.

Do you really think she’d see it as a bother? The mischievous little voice sounded far too much like Trinne. But it was right; his conversations with Josephine frequently turned into hours-long talks neither counted as wasted time.

Caving to the only decent alternative he could find to staring at the ceiling for hours, Levyn pushed off the edge of the bed. He grabbed a shirt to pull on as he made his way down the stairs. Hopefully the door would be quiet so he didn’t disturb anyone.

There was hardly anyone to disturb, he realized when he reached the bottom and exited the stairwell from his room. A couple guards lounged in the main hall, keeping half an eye--at best--out for trouble, but otherwise no one was close enough to be bothered even if his door creaked like the gates of the bloody Void.

The guards straightened when they saw him, mumbling “Inquisitor,” as they ducked their heads.

Levyn gave a distracted nod in return. He tucked his hair behind one ear, realizing belatedly he’d forgotten to grab something to tie it back. Probably didn’t matter at this hour, anyway, he told himself. It did serve to emphasize how barely put together he probably looked, but it was after midnight. Who looked put together at this hour, anyway?

Josephine, probably, a new little voice piped up dryly as he wandered in the direction of her office. Because when doesn’t she?

He ran his fingers self-consciously through his hair at that and almost lost his nerve to push the door open. Not helping. One more deep breath to steel himself and in he went. “Josephine?”

The little voice had been right; she did look put-together. In the vaguely-rumpled way of the up-all-night. She was also asleep at her desk, candle still burning, now-wrinkled letter with a duke’s seal in one hand.

Levyn froze in the doorway, biting his lip. Surely the flickering candle was exaggerating the dark circles under her eyes... He shuffled a few quiet steps closer and she didn’t stir. His fingers twitched as the Mark started to flare again and he quickly closed them into a fist to hide the light.

There’s never been that much on her desk before. It was the first distraction he latched on to as he grit his teeth through another wave of pain. How does she find time to do it all? He edged closer to scan the various papers and shook his head. She probably doesn’t; hence the late night and falling asleep at her desk. Another glance at the frankly dizzying amount of work. I knew she was busy, but this is just... Sweet Andraste, no wonder she enjoys taking breaks to talk for an hour or two.

In the face of the sheer enormity of all Josephine Montilyet did for the Inquisition, giving her an hour or so to relax every once in a while seemed woefully inadequate. But what more was there? What could he, of all people, do to show appreciation?

I don’t know, Lord Inquisitor Trevelyan, what can you do? The thought was mocking, almost caustic, as it dug at his dirty secret and biggest insecurity simultaneously. 

His gaze fell on a blank scrap of parchment and it hit him It would still be nowhere near what she deserved in gratitude from the Inquisition--from him--but it would be something. A gesture of appreciation, a small kindness, to let her know someone noticed. And it was something he could do. All on his own.

                                                  ~~<>~~

When Josephine woke, the candle had burned low enough to be sputtering in melted wax, and someone had tucked a small sketch of a sunflower under her elbow. Whoever it was was quite good, she thought to herself as she sat back and examined the sketch. ‘For everything you do’ was carefully lettered across the bottom. She didn’t recognize the handwriting, but it was so painstakingly precise that was likely by design.

A mystery, then. She was too tired to puzzle out a mystery. Josephine yawned and smiled. She would just accept the gift with the kindness it was clearly meant. And probably not tell Leliana.

                                                  ~~<>~~

As it turned out, she didn’t have to. Leliana found out on her own, a little over a week after Josephine received the first sketch. Her collection had grown to four by then; two more flowers and a bird.

“What’s this, Josie?” Leliana asked with a smile, shuffling through the small collection. “You never were artistically inclined.”

“I’m still not,” Josephine retorted, swiftly but carefully rescuing the sketches from her friend. She didn’t return them to their drawer, though she knew waiting until Leliana left would be pointless. The woman would just rifle her desk later until she found them. Still, Josephine opted to hold the slips of parchment. “They were gifts.”

Leliana raised an eyebrow. “Really? From whom?”

Now she hesitated. “I... don’t know.”

“Josie!” Her voice carried the scolding tone of a concerned big sister.

“They are only ever left on my desk or the tray when Bernadette brings me meals at your insistence, Leliana,” Josephine countered with a raised brow of her own. “I’m fairly certain they come from within the Inquisition, even if I don’t know who precisely is leaving them.” She leafed through the small collection to reach the first one. “And given this note, I highly doubt there is a nefarious purpose behind them.”

“But there may be a self-serving one,” Leliana pointed out. “Someone trying to get in your good graces.”

“Then why aren’t they signed?” Josephine held up two of the sketches, displaying the lack of anything to identify the artist.. “There’s no benefit to them if I don’t know who they are.”

Leliana started at the parchment for a long moment and then smirked. “Well, then, it seems you have a secret admirer, no?”

As conclusions went, it was probably correct. It was also only slightly better than Leliana thinking she was in danger somehow. That carried with it near-smothering protective instincts, but a secret admirer? That would bring out the playful teasing side from where it lurked, and Leliana in a playful teasing mood was not to be taken lightly.

So she protested, “Oh, I’m sure it’s not that.”

“Then what?” Leliana probed. “If it’s neither threat nor admirer, what do you think it is?”

“Perhaps it’s just someone trying to be nice,” Josephine said, fumbling for an explanation that wouldn’t get her either guarded zealously or teased mercilessly.

“Being the diplomat does make you the most visible,” Leliana said softly. “I suppose it makes sense.”

Josephine wasn’t fooled by her friend’s too-easy surrender. Leliana had latched on to either the secret admirer or lurking danger theory and wasn’t planning to let go. Only time would tell which.

                                                  ~~<>~~

He needed to be more careful. Levyn rubbed at a waterstain on the cover of his sketchbook and glanced around the campsite. None of the rank and file Inquisition scouts at this outpost were paying him any mind, but Sera was looking at him with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. She’d almost caught him earlier; a casual ‘Whatcha drawin’, Inky?’ as she glanced over his shoulder that made him yelp and snap the sketchbook closed. His reaction had, of course, only made her more curious. And now he had a slightly smudged sketch of the sun on Lake Luthias he needed to finish without Sera catching him and asking too many-

“So, why so jumpy?”

-questions. “I’m just shy about people seeing what I draw.” That was true enough enough. “It’s something I mostly do for me.” Also not a lie, though recently developed habits did nudge it toward stretching the truth.

“Well, why?” Sera asked, scratching her ear as she plunked down next to him.  “Little I saw, you’re pretty good, yeah?”

“That’s...” Levyn hesitated. “Complicated.” He hadn’t even sorted out all the reasons in his head yet. “Most people in the Circle didn’t get it, thought I was wasting my time.” ‘Maybe if you practiced more and doodled less you could cast a decent spell once in a while.’

“Piss on them,” she snorted, digging the toe of her boot into the dirt. “Draw for you, Inky. Not other people.”

He laughed. “I try.” And then, because they were friends and she deserved something for the kindness of encouraging words, he flipped open to the half-finished sketch.

“I was right, you are good!” Sera crowed. She jabbed one finger at the drawing.  “Would look better with Lord Woolsey in it, though, yeah?”

“I’m not great at animals,” Levyn admitted with a sheepish chuckle. “Except birds.” But maybe I’ll start practicing more now....

“Oh, then it’s grand!” And with that, she was up, bounding off to chat with Blackwall or do Maker knew what else, before he had a chance to thank her.

Hope Josephine thinks so, too, he thought to himself, and set about finishing the sketch.

                                                  ~~<>~~

As the days and weeks passed and her collection grew, Josephine gave up even half-hearted efforts to figure out where they came from. It would be too much work to match their appearance with the patrol schedule and various ventures to figure out who was leaving them, and she had more important things to do. So she would let Leliana puzzle it out if she was so inclined and simply allow them to brighten her day.

And she needed it. Aside from a pair of trade agreements suddenly in a precarious state, Lady Forsythia was still being difficult in regards to peace terms(she really didn’t like her brother), and Harritt had just lodged his third complaint in as many weeks regarding the quality of supplies reaching him. Which meant someone was skimming or cheating them somewhere along the line, and they needed to deal with it. It was almost overwhelming, even for her, and talking with the Inquisitor(venting to him, really), before the day’s meeting had only helped some. He was a very good listener, and she appreciated the gesture--not to mention time with him--but she still had to deal with all of it...

“Josie. Josie, are you listening?” Leliana nudged her with an elbow, playfully but hard enough to get her attention.

“I am sorry,” Josephine said, clearing her throat sheepishly. “My mind wandered. What were you saying?”

“Well,” Leliana began, blue eyes dancing faintly with mirth. “The Inquisitor agreed with your suggestion for aiding Hasmal, for starters. And I need to know how many agents will be required to investigate Harritt’s claims.”

“Oh.” Josephine blinked, lips curling in a hint of a smile as she glanced toward Lord Trevelyan. She’d rather expected him to go with Leliana’s advice on the matter. And it would be a relief to hand off Harritt’s concerns. “Two or three should be sufficient, though I would perhaps say four to be safe.”

Leliana nodded. “Very well. I trust you have his complaints written down, no? That information will help know where to start.”

“Of course.” Josephine actually had them with her, as she planned on bringing up the concern over their supply lines. She paged through the sheets of parchment on her writing board until she found the pertinent ones. She slid them free to hand to Leliana-

-and discovered her mysterious artist friend had left her another sketch, this time ivy climbing a trellis, like in Skyhold’s gardens. Or her family’s back in Antiva. 

Leliana caught her hesitation and the smile she only partly managed to bite back. She craned her neck slightly in order to see. “Ah, another gift from your secret admirer,” she teased.

“Leliana!” Josephine protested. She started to hug the board to her chest before remembering the inkwell perched at the top.

“Your what?” Inquisitor Trevelyan looked up from the war table, his hand skidding a little against the surface and knocking over a couple of markers.

“Josie has a secret admirer,” Leliana said, smirking as she eyed him and Cullen both. “They’ve been leaving her gifts for a few weeks now.” She shot Josephine a mischievous look.

“It’s not important,” Josephine tried again to deflect. She knew what Leliana was doing--trying to smoke out a reaction from one of the men if they were responsible. “Or relevant.” Whoever’s leaving them will tell me if and when they’re ready. You don’t need to fish.

“Yes, let’s discuss the matters at hand, rather than our ambassador’s love life,” Cullen said dryly. “Interesting as some” --a raised eyebrow at Leliana--”may find it.”

Josephine face warmed and she quickly turned to studying the map. She did notice--unless she was imagining things--that the Inquisitor’s ears were red, too. At least someone shared her discomfort at airing something so personal. It was nice to have a kindred spirit.

                                                  ~~<>~~

Levyn spent the remainder of the meeting trying not to blush, which largely translated to not looking at Josephine. Of course Leliana knew about the sketches. She and Josephine were close friends, and she was the spymaster. Knowing things was her job. (A fact that made him more than a little nervous on many occasions.) But he couldn’t help wondering--worrying--how long it would take for her to track down Josephine’s “secret admirer”. That was also her job, and she was very good at it, especially where Josephine was concerned. And while he did admire Josephine for a multitude of reasons, that wasn’t the motivation behind the sketches. He was just trying to be nice. Maker knew she deserved it, with all she did-

“Inquisitor, are we agreed?”

Speaking of Leliana.... a wry little voice chuckled as his head snapped up, hair falling in his eyes. “...Yes?”

Leliana raised an eyebrow at his hesitancy. “You’re going to help Griffon Wing with their darkspawn problem?”

“Yes,” Levyn confirmed more steadily, tucking back his hair. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

“That’s going around, no?” she commented vaguely, glancing at Josephine. “But we’re all finished here. You can go prepare for your journey.”

He nodded. “Can someone let Sera, Blackwall, and Vivienne know I’d like them to come with me?”

“Of course,” Josephine volunteered with a smile.

“Thank you,” Levyn smiled back and then hurried off to get ready.

                                                  ~~<>~~

He was halfway geared up--coat and boots on but not the armored gloves--when a messenger tentatively entered and bowed. “Beggin’ your pardon, m’lord, but Sister Nightingale wanted a word b���fore  you depart.”

She just saw me, why didn’t she- Oh, no. He fought down a smile of grim amusement. Which jig is up, I wonder? “I’ll go talk to her.”

He pulled on the gloves as he crossed to her tower, heart in his throat the whole way up the stairs. Leliana was standing by a window when he reached the top, using the light to inspect a very familiar sketch of ivy climbing a trellis.

“So tell me, Inquisitor,” she said, voice deceptively soft. “What are your intentions regarding Josephine?”

                                                 ~~<>~~

For a split second, frozen with panic like a deer in a hunter’s sights, Levyn considered jumping over the rail and praying he didn’t break anything when he hit the floor. But that would only delay the inevitable, and make her more suspicious, so he instead tried to look casual and slightly confused.”What?”

Leliana just laughed. “Don’t try to play that game with me, Inquisitor. I am much more experienced, no? I know you’re the one who’s been leaving these for Josie, and I want to know why.”

“How do you know?” he dodged, heart racing and fingers picking at his thumb hard enough to scrape the skin raw if he hadn’t pulled on his gloves.

She smirked, setting the sketch on her table. “You fell asleep working on this one, didn’t you?”

He had. The two nights previous had been bad ones for nightmares, and the lack of sleep had finally caught up with him. But he wasn’t going to just admit that. Not to Leliana.

“I’d needed to discuss something with you,” she began, casually, though her eyes were locked on him. “As all my messengers were busy, I simply went myself. You were asleep at your desk, and I did not wish to disturb you. I did, however, catch a glimpse of what you were working on.” Her fingers tapped against the parchment. “This.”

Busted. Well, if she had to find out one of his secrets, this one was preferable to.... the other one. “What’s your point, Leliana? I really need to get going.”

“My point is, as I said, what are your intentions with Josephine?”

“Nothing romantic, as you so clearly seem to think,” Levyn said, ignoring the small part of him going ‘Weeelllll’ . “I know she works hard and was just trying to do something nice. To thank her. Should I stop?” 

Leliana shook her head. “She enjoys them. I simply wanted to know the intention behind such gifts. Solving mysteries like that is part of my job, no?”

He nodded. “No, I know. Are... are you going to tell her?”

She smiled fondly. “Probably not. I think she enjoys the mystery of it as much as the sketches themselves. I’d hate to ruin that for her. I’m content knowing there’s no risk to her or her heart.”

“None at all,” Levyn promised. Considering I’d die before doing anything that might hurt her.

Leliana’s smile widened. “Very well, Inquisitor. I’m sorry to have delayed you. Best of luck in the Western Approach.”

It was clearly a dismissal, and he did need to get going, so Levyn nodded, mumbled thanks, and departed. He was halfway down the stairs before the tension eased and relief she would keep his secret set in. Thank the Maker for small kindnesses.

-----------------------------------------------------

And once again I strike with my artist!Jowan headcanon(Seriously, you can have that when you pry it from my cold, dead hands).

For any non-followers or people who missed it, his worldstate explanation is here

Sera is extremely fun to write anyway, but especially so with him bc sh’s exactly the kind of friend he needs

[runespoor7]

Iris’ Broken Circle: the end

She ends up letting the desire demon and her bewitched Templar go, because I managed to convince myself I don't have any other Warden that might do that (...*side-eyes Mahariel anyway*), and you can let them go by saying the situation they're in is intriguing, rather than because you're touched by the love story.

Now, on to the Fade!

- fourth time playing it (or maybe fifth? I don't remember if I'd gone so far with Aeducan the first time, before I decided I wanted to play it otherwise) if I count the time I was just watching Dem play. I still love it, the gameplay is so different from the rest of the game, and I always love “voyages to the centre of the mind”. This time, I had Morrigan and Zevran with me as opposed to... Alistair and Leliana... so that might have helped with my impression that I was doing new things. Iris is also the first mage I'm playing through the Fade, and Mana Clash makes short work of a lot of things. Golems are huge threats, but aside from that...

- the entry vision: it's a given that for a lot of PC it's not going to be much their characters wish for (aside from the assurance that the Blight is over), but in Iris' case it was almost a total misfire. It wasn't more of a misfire than it was with Tabris, but...”You've been at Weisshaupt for some time now/The Gray Wardens shall be keepers of history. We shall tell tales […] of a more tumultuous time, that others may rejoice in knowing that that time is past./Can you not be content with the peace I offer” is pretty much guaranteed Iris kryptonite. What about the travels. What about the thrills??

- upon meeting Niall, I learnt that Iris had decided he's a demon. Apparently her rule for the Fade is “if it's not me, it's a trick”. Not that she minds: if it's not her, it means she can trick it, or negotiate with it, or otherwise deal with it, as the case may be. But still, as far as she's concerned, Niall is Fake!Niall.

- after running around trying on four other shapes (it is pretty cool, she's tempted to ask Morrigan for how to do it), she finally stumbles into... Zevran's nightmare.

- At this point I note that Zevran's mind is casting two Dalish elves in the roles of his Crow torturers, which reminds me: canon/early canon said that Dalish are considered adults after they've earned their vallaslin. Which involves enduring the tattooing without crying out. If you do, you're considered immature, and the Keeper stops; better luck in a few months! I remember fans wondering why we never saw people with half-finished vallaslin (there's a Doylist answer, but let's assume for a moment the devs would make the assets for a background NPC), and now I look at Zevran, with his tattoo on half his face, and with his story that he'd fled to join the Dalish once but the reality didn't live up to his expectations, and with his mind deciding Dalish would stand in for the Crows, and I wonder.

(in case you're wondering, Zevran's tattoo doesn't look that much like a DA:O vallaslin, however unfinished, unless you assume that different clans have their own takes on each vallaslin – which seems much more likely to me than assuming they're all using the same without regional variants! If we're admitting variants, based on the available designs, Zevran's tat could be part of a vallaslin of: June, Dirthamen, or Andruil. I feel Andruil would be a good design for Zevran, perhaps even the best suited to him with Falon'Din. But if Zevran was ditching the Crows, would he have stuck to an identity as a hunter? It's less unlikely than “friend of the dead”, probably.)

- she still gets Fade!Zevran out of there. (Me, I note that Zevran's first reaction being “but you're not supposed to be here!” when the Warden says something is incredibly pleasing to my shipping Iris/Zevran.) Then Fade!Zevran  starts to disappear and she reaches out, and then he's gone and she finds herself a bit nonplussed as she puts her arm down and wonders if that Zevran was real or not. Probably real. The nightmare held similarities to her own entry vision in, it felt like an illusion meant to keep Zevran trapped. She remains staring at the rack for a minute after Fade!Zevran's disappeared.

- then she finds Morrigan, and Morrigan is-- oh, Iris cannot imagine a demon impersonating Morrigan with such accuracy. It's the real Morrigan, and she's as aware of Fake!Flemeth being a fake and she in the Fade that Iris has been for a while now. She's also exceedingly annoyed with the proceedings, both the interactions with the spirit, and her subsequent disappearing, in a manner that I-the-player finds absolutely hilarious. (Not related: I note that Fake!Flemeth slaps Morrigan for not showing respect, and Morrigan says “there, that's more like it!”. I assume it's because Fake!Flemeth's attempts at cloyingness were even faker than this, but I don't think I'll take it for meaning Flemeth was physically abusive with Morrigan, especially about “respect”. I can imagine Flemeth hitting Morrigan when she'd returned with her mirror, though.)

- Wynne's nightmare is so very very creepy. The part where the dead apprentice speaks and asks her to stay with them in the embrace of the earth. Iris thought that was creeeeepy, and that's not a reaction she has very often. Connor was grotesque; Amalia's fascination with the talking cat was disquieting and kind of creepy; dead apprentice begging their teacher to join them in death? Creeeeeeeepy.

Wynne says she's always had an affinity for the Fade, and Iris' gut reaction was to think that she, Iris, really doesn't, but she's had to pause her reaction. She does find navigating the Fade easy, or at least... kind of pleasant. She can obtain what she wants from its inhabitants. Isn't that having an affinity, too? It's like since her Harrowing, and with the multiple opportunities she's had, she's good at this. Before, most of what she knew about the Fade came lectures on the dangers of the Fade and assigned readings. They made it sound so boring. And it was never practical, of course, so it was just... endless lecturing... no wonder she'd liked spellcasting better. Making things go boom = much more fun! And even so they had to go oh so slowly. Again, no wonder Iris had to try things on her own. ...despite Jowan's fear that she would get in trouble. She was careful, though, partly to humor him and partly because she knew better, she's always known better. So very often she had to be content with imagining how her spell would go if she cast it like so and so, as her testing time was always limited. So even on her own, it was slow, she had to hide, and then sometimes she had to come up with a clever lie on the spot, when she was just a little too good at something they weren't supposed to have studied yet. ...Until finally Irving took her under his wing.

- to truly understand how easy playing as Iris made soloing the bosses, you need to remember that three of the four bosses are magic-based (demons and such), so Mana Clash does them in. And the last boss is blocked behing a Massive Door, so you can just cast Tempests and Shocks and Cones of Cold until he dies, without ever opening the door.

- Iris is almost entirely lacking in empathy regarding Niall, to an extent that I find surprising even for her. She finds him whiny. She talks the talk of saying right-ish things because he's dying, but she's got things to be doing here. (“can't he die any faster” - not an actual thing she's thinking but the gist) Up to the point where he starts talking about his mother, and how she used to tell him, before the Circle, that he was meant for greatness, greater than their ancestors ever dreamt of, and then Iris snaps. “Are you done reminiscing?”

Then we're out of the Fade again, and then we meet Cullen.

...yep, so Cullen is pretty lucky there's no option to fight and kill him, because I wouldn't do it as he's a returning character, but I would sure need finagling to ensure Iris doesn't. If Iris wanted “to guarantee that no abominations […] live”, she'd start with him. Only way to be sure, right? How long did he spend with only blood mages and demons for company, how is he any less a risk as the others up there? He as good as admitted to demons tempting him and showing him things he wanted, right?

On the bright side, Zevran comments on Cullen revealing that he has a crush on Amell. (“Someone was quite the little heartbreaker when they were an apprentice. My, my.” I am playing the perfect character for this, I am so satisfied.) On the less bright side, it's actually less rewarding than what Iris thought – she thought it was... she basically thought she was exploiting a crush and Cullen being very much a templar apprentice*, see. If it turns out that Cullen was in love with her, well, suddenly, nothing she did mattered. It wasn't that she was good at manipulation, it was just that he'd fabricated something made-up in his head.

*I would love to get why there where only male templars in Kinloch Hoch. Doylist explanation is that Bioware decided it shouldn't be gendered after the game was out, but I want a Watsonian explanation... ;_; are we supposed to imagine there are also female templars in Kinloch Hoch? ...probably, actually. (;_; it's very hard given what we see in Broken Circle) See Templar lady chasing Anders. Or maybe Greagoir sends templar ladies on the roads and keeps only guys standing watch on the actual Tower. Maybe because it's supposed to keep down the risk of fraternization?

But on the other hand, it means that when Cullen's going off the deep end in Kirkwall, Iris can look back at her past self and kick herself for not making more of an effort to put him down when she could have had the opportunity! (the problem was Wynne.)(chances are Iris never will, but you never know, right?)

- the convo with Uldred is so different from every other confrontation with Uldred I ever made! There's an option to say “I suppose we are similar, in some ways” unprompted which I don't remember seeing before – it's probably because Iris is a blood mage – and I hastened to take it. I like that I was able to play this confrontation in an IC manner, that was pretty fun, from Iris saying “of course [some mages] are [stubbornly resisting you]! You're trying to destroy their lives!” to “No, I think it is you that should serve me” (that latter was mostly because she got a kick out of saying it, but you never know with demons). At the very end of the fight, Zevran fell, and Iris had no choice but to turn to fueling her last couple of spells with her own blood, so that was something. When Uldred addressed Irving to tell him she was there, she suddenly wondered if Uldred was going to tell Irving she was a blood mage, she knows Uldred could tell.

- Iris' feelings about Irving are complicated and so better shoved in a drawer in the darkest corner of her mind and sealed.

- ...she does have the most inappropriate moment of glee when Irving says “curse whoever insisted the Circle be built in a tower.” Ha, take that, Alistair! ...and then she immediately chides herself because that's Irving making a joke, and being mentally friendly with Irving is no-no.

- and then it's back to Greagoir and Iris wishing she got Cullen killed, and then Iris wondering if Greagoir didn't get stealth possessed or something because he thanks her and tells her she's proven herself to be a friend of both the Circle and the templars, and Iris has never been the friend of either of the two one day in her life and if she could drown all the people who'd talked about killing the mages in the Tower she'd do it in an instant and not feel a hint of remorse?

- I the player am not shipping Irving/Greagoir any less than usual but I think Iris has big enough blinders about both of them not to think about it rn. I think she considered it when she was younger, and now their interactions are just their interactions. It's not something worth analyzing whether they're fucking or not, it's just business as usual. It could come up at some point if Zevran asks her about her life or that return to the Circle or if she ever finds it in her to open up about how complicated her feelings about Irving have gotten.

The complicated feelings about Irving that Iris is totally not having aren't getting any less complicated by the convo with Irving himself. “I am glad you arrived when you did. It's almost as though the Maker Himself sent you.” So she's going to answer that as neutrally as she can, because no feelings, feelings are bad. “The Blight drove me here to seek aid.”

Holy shit I had forgotten you can turn down Wynne's offer to join. ...That's... a little bit tempting, because blood magic. But Iris isn't a Circle mage anymore, Grey Wardens aren't bound by the Circle's rules, and there is a Blight to be won.

[cactuarkitty]

Random DA:O Thoughts - Pt 12.

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to Orzammar we go!

The shop keeper at Orzammar said his wares were guaranteed by his 24hr life time guarantee. LOL

Wow I’m shocked that the first scene I saw between the dwarves is of one being killed with an axe because he disagreed with him. Maybe I shouldn’t be shocked.

What is a nub?

Well a nub is a naked rat animal thing haha. Kinda cute. Collecting the nubs now.

The King has died. There are two dwarves, a noble and a prince who I are vying for the throne. You have to pick a side. I was sooo confused I really didn’t know who to choose. I ended up going with the Prince. We’ll see what happens haha.

I had to show two nobles some papers, proving that the other guy had promised them the same land for their vote. I’m pretty sure one of the nobles had Canderous’ voice from KotoR. :D

I had to travel into the deep roads to find one of the nobles. Found it kinda creepy. More of those baby raptors who squeak awww.

Every time I die and get swapped to Alistair or something, I have no idea what the hell I’m doing haha.

Oh yeah just searching the Dwarven palace and looting chests. Just another day as a grey warden. :P

Now I have to clear some gang out. That was fun! Quite cool how they have little secret quests. Like having to take the least expensive item from each chest to be able to access their stash. Also it made me laugh that the exit was out through a shopkeepers wall lol.

Dwarves carry lots of coin.

We’re off to find Branka. Her husband I guess joined our team. Yay I have the dwarf now!

I like how Oghren says sodding a lot. His beard and hair are so red :D

Ahaha he keeps making funny comments on Alistair’s and Norua’s relationship.

The deep roads quest is very long. Only thing that bothered me about it being so long is the fact I ran out of health potions and those roots to make them.

I found Huck. He is crazy, doesn’t want me to tell his Mum he’s still alive. So I won’t.

That whole bit with the dwarf lady saying some weird poem super freaked me out! :/ Creepy.

Eww what the fuck is this brood mother thing. Gross! So they’ve been feeding her heaps of dwarfs maybe.

Killed her. Focused on her with spells while the rest of the team fought her minions and tentacles.

I don’t really like Branka much.

The totem poll fight with the spirits was super hard! Probably didn’t help that I was low on health potions.

Oh so the other paragon guy is in a golem (I forgot his name). He wants me to destroy the anvil because to make the golems they had to take actual lifes. Wow so yeah I decided I’d destroy it and of course Branka wants to fight. -_-

Awww after I destroyed the anvil he committed suicide. I guess it wasn’t much of a life for him. He made a special crown for the next King.

As planned I chose Baleen and instantly regretted it! He ordered Harrowmont to be executed :O even after I said “I didn’t give you the throne so you could be a tyrant” he refused to change his mind. I’m actually finding him super annoying now. I actually had a memory of watching my ex play as a noble dwarf, and a picture in my head that someone had poisoned others. I think it was Baelen. I felt so bad I loaded and gave the crown to Harrowmont, who was like “I’m surprised.” cause I never tried to get their trust. Baelen attacked us lol. So now he is dead. Oh well.

I said to the new king I wanted my face on a giant rock ahaha

I think I only have a bunch of side quests before the lands meet stuff, so I’m kinda at that point where I dunno what to do. I don’t really want to go to the lands meet. Maybe I’ll buy some of the dlc to do in the mean time.

It’s weird but I wondering why I hadn’t gotten Leliana’s loyalty quest to do yet, since she is at full approval. Also when I talk to her there is no new convos. Someone said that she talks about your relationship with Alistair but it’s never came up. I found out that for some reason her approval being so high has locked out convos. I had to give her some rotten onions to get it down. Then she had more convo options. There was even a cutscene with her singing which I thought was beautiful. Kinda makes me wonder if I missed other convos cause I gave them too many gifts at once. Oh no I just did that with Oghren. Oops.

I think when I play again I’ll try to talk to them more often and space out the gifts a bit more. Like one gift per quest. This time I usually gave them about 5 gifts in a row lol. What if I missed out of Alistair convos by giving him too many gifts. I actually have about 4 gifts for him now which I useless since he has the gold heart now. Don’t really wanna mess with his meter.

Haha Oghren is drunk and he told me to sod off.

Did Oghren’s loyalty. Lmao of course it’s to help him hook up XD was very funny!

Now I’m doing Shale’s loyalty. It was a cool quest. So Shale used to be a female dwarf - interesting. I guess Shale is still a they/them since they have no gender, being a golem. Actually just now in a convo with Leliana, Shale said they weren’t a she… that they are a golem.

Don’t really have much else to do so I’m going to do the prep for the lands meet. I was relieved that it wasn’t yet the point of no return.

Ugh I hate Loghian so much! And that horrible Arl who he has under his thumb. He’s obviously a snake. Gonna enjoy killing them. No fucking way am I making Loghain a grey warden.

So a handmaiden elf needs us to rescue Queen Anoia. That bastard snake arl has her locked up. I knew he was creepy! I know he has Tim Curry’s voice and he’s good at playing creepy evil weirdos haha.

Haha we had to get dressed up as soldiers. I’d never seen Norua in armour before - she looks quite striking. Not as lovely as in her robes though. Of course I had her and Al kissing before they got into the castle.

AHAHAHA OMG! I intruded on a maid giving a guard a bj XD so funny! Now he is dead. I hope he enjoyed his last moments of pleasure.

I was so excited when I found all the treasure piles in the locked room :D

Whoa a guard just got strangled. Pretty graphic haha. Poor Norua took a step back all scared like towards Al. “Hold me Alistair!” “Come here, my love. Alistair has you.” Tee hee <3

Oh it was a grey warden who had been captured. Wow so King Cailan had asked about 200 grey wardens to come help. Damn that Loghain bastard! The grey warden seems cool. Alistair had met him previously at his joining. He just told us about a wardens stash… oooooh! Exciting!

Holy crap some of the fights are super hard! Had to load a couple of times.

Yay that Arl dickhead is dead! That was a hard fight too cause he had two mages helping him.

In the dungeon there was the real Arl. He seemed to be a bit of a dick but I let him out anyway. Zevran disapproved by 5 points. Also opened the door for a captured Templar. I feel so sorry for him :( he has lyrium withdrawal so isn’t right of mind. He was captured trying to bring Jowan back. God that Jowan all he does is cause trouble. I really dislike him. Anyway the Templar asked me to give his sister a message or a ring, I can’t remember.

Rescued the queen. Loghain’s second in command (can’t remember her name) stopped us when we tried to leave. I made the mistake of revealing the queen was with us. Then the queen said we tried to kidnap her :O Norua was NOT happy! Wasn’t until later she realised she wasn’t as subtle as she could have been. Oops!

Haha Norua and Al have been captured and are in the cell together half naked. Who’s great idea was that?!

I took Wynne and Leliana to rescue them. Hehe this mission was amusing! Some of the fights were quite hard. I summoned a spirit wolf with Leliana to help us. :)

Aww when we travelled back to the Estate, the spirit wolf died. Made me sad :( I thought it wasn’t an actual wolf. Maybe I can dismiss it while in combat. Kinda gross to have the wolf just drop dead then turn into a skeleton.

The warden gave me the location of the stash - woo!

OOOOOMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGG I FOUND DUNCAN’S SHIELD TO GIVE TO ALISTAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He was SO happy!!!! He said he would cherish it forever. It was amazing! I’m so happy! Looks awesome with his Warden armour and Starfang sword too. :D 

Norua: “Who loves you, Al?” Alistair: “My sweet little rose petal.” <3

[ma-sulevin]

The Life & Times of Sophie Amell: The Tower

Rating: M

Relationship: Female Amell/Cullen Rutherford (this chapter)

Summary: Sophie Amell was just a very young girl when the entire course of her life changed because she can summon flames at her fingertips. Each time she thinks her life is settling into something resembling normalcy, everything changes once again. She's conscripted into the Grey Wardens, she's sent to Amaranthine, or she loses someone she loves.

Usually, she loses the ones she loves every time her life changes.

This is the story of unwilling Warden Sophie Amell, told in four parts: The Tower, The Blight, The Wardens, and The Calling.

Part One. The Tower. (Read on AO3)

Ever since the forest burned, Sophie’s life has never been the same. She didn’t know what she was doing. The trees were large, scary, the howling of wolves too much for her little body to cope. She saw a pair of yellow eyes in the darkness and all she knew to do was throw her hands up to protect herself.

And that’s what started it.

Then the men came and took her away, ripped her from the tree in their yard that she’d hidden in. Her hands were skinned as she gripped the branches to hold herself back, the blood making the men all the more angry.

They did something to her then, something that made her feel sleepy and made her tummy ache. She couldn’t fight anymore. She couldn’t even make fire like she did when the wolves attacked.

Her mother didn’t even look at her as she was carried away. She didn’t see her again.

---

“Don’t cry, little one.” Sophie looks up at the new voice with wide, watery eyes. It’s a mage, a woman, tall with dark hair pulled into a bun. “My name is Wynne. Are you very hungry?” At Sophie’s nod, Wynne’s smile widens slightly. “Let’s go get you a bath and into your special new robes, and then you can have dinner. Okay?”

Sophie nods and takes Wynne’s outstretched hand, letting the mage lead her through the Circle. Her little eyes barely blink as she’s dragged along, one thumb tucked firmly in her mouth. She doesn’t remember where anything is. This place is so much bigger than her home.

She doesn’t say anything as Wynne helps her take a bath to wash the grime of the road off of her. She stays silent as Wynne helps her into a set of little mage robes, showing her how to fasten them properly so she can get dressed by herself next time.

She only speaks when Wynne settles onto a chair behind her to braid her wet hair, twisting it up into a bun prettier than her mother ever managed at home.

“Wynne?”

“Mmm?” Wynne’s lips are pinched together, holding pins in place to help with Sophie’s hair, so she can only make a quiet noise of acknowledgment.

“Are you my new mama?”

Wynne freezes at the question, just for a moment, before resuming her work. When her lips are free, she asks, “What makes you ask that, child?”

Sophie rubs her knuckles into her eyes as the tears come again. “Be-because, the man says my mama isn’t my mama no more.” She hesitates, thinking. “And, and he said the Circle is my new home now.”

“Which man said that?” Wynne asks, reaching out to pull Sophie against her chest for a hug. Little arms snake around her waist and hold her tight and Wynne has to swallow hard to keep from crying too. “Do you remember his name?”

Sophie shakes her head in response, burying her face in Wynne’s shoulder.

The two mages sit together until Sophie’s tears run dry.

---

“Hi! I’m Jowan!” Sophie squints at the gangly boy across from her, sizing him up. He grins at her, showing off two missing front teeth. She doesn’t respond, but Jowan doesn’t seem to mind. “This is Lys,” he continues, pointing with his thumb to a girl who sits beside Sophie. “She doesn’t like to talk either.”

Sophie turns to Lys, already frowning, but Lys just has the end of one red pigtail tucked into her mouth. She looks back at Jowan.

“I’m Sophie,” she says, voice a hoarse whisper.

Jowan’s whole face lights up at her response. “What kind of magic do you have?” he demands. He glances around, looking to see how close attention the templars are paying to them and decides casting a spell isn’t worth it. “I can make snow.”

“I burned down my forest,” Sophie replies, face hardening, daring Jowan to say something about it.

He just pouts a little. “That’s cooler than snow,” he grouses. “Snow just comes from the sky in the winter. Fire never comes from the sky.”

---

“New templars are arriving today.”

Sophie glances up at Jowan over the top of her book, but otherwise doesn’t move. The Circle’s talked about nothing but the new templars for weeks, ever since Greagoir announced it.

Who would they be receiving? Would they be kind or cruel? Would they be losing any templars to make room for the newly ordained knights? Maybe Fitzpatrick will leave, he’s been getting more and more confused lately…

She sighs and turns her attention back to the words on the page. A terribly boring treatise on elfroot’s lesser known applications in healing, only interesting enough to be preferable to talk of templars, but Jowan won’t be discouraged.

“Don’t you want to be there when they come in?” he demands, reaching across the table to pull the book from her hands. He snaps it closed, losing her place, and she scowls at him even as she slumps farther down in the chair. She props her elbow on the arm of the chair and rests her cheek on her hand. “It would be good for them, to see all the mages in the tower right when they arrive.”

This sentiment makes Sophie uneasy, and she sits up straight to look around the room for any of the regular templars. They seem to be alone, for now, and she relaxes back into her slouch.

“Don’t say things like that,” she hisses, shooting Jowan a dark look. “You know better. You know what happened to Anders.”

Jowan just shrugs, completely unconcerned. Anders has escaped the tower every few years ever since they can remember. On his last attempt, he arrived back with a bruised and bloodied face and quickly disappeared into the lower levels of the Circle.

Solitary confinement, the templars said. They haven’t seen him since, and it’s been months.

“I’m not talking about escaping, ” he points out, not unreasonably, but he still lowers his voice to make her feel better. “Just about scaring them a little. Come with me? Please?” His face melts into a mimicry of the face he made when they were little mages, the one that always got her to agree to anything he said.

She rolls her eyes, staring at the ceiling dramatically to be sure he knows he’s putting her out, but stands and allows him to pull her along behind him.

They make their way from the library through the apprentice quarters towards the great doors, the ones Sophie’s never seen closed, and melt into the waiting crowd.

The templars already on duty look antsy with so many mages gathered in one place, but with Greagoir and Irving both there too, they can’t tell the mages to disperse.

And so they wait, watching as the tower’s main doors open and four new Knights-Templar walk in. They all have their helmets on, still, blocking their faces from view, but the mages immediately begin murmuring to each other, making guesses about their new guardians.

Irving and Greagoir step up to greet them, shaking their hands and making introductions. The first of the templars removes his helmet and smoothes a gauntleted hand over his flattened curls. His eyes drift over the gathered mages, stopping when they reach Sophie’s.

She pulls her lower lip into her mouth and rests her hand against the wall beside her. The cold stone against her skin grounds her as she stares directly into his eyes, such a light shade of brown that they look gold. Her body warms and Jowan leans forward to whisper something in her ear but she can’t hear him.

The templar smiles at her, just a little thing, but she sees the way his cheeks turn pink as he rips his eyes away from her to turn back to the Knight-Commander.

This… isn’t good.

---

The new templar’s name is Cullen. Sometimes he’s stationed in the halls, walking to make sure mages aren’t hiding where they aren’t supposed to be. Sometimes he’s stationed in the library, standing with his back against the wall, eyes always roaming across his charges.

When he isn’t working, he’s supposed to be with the other templars. They have a floor all to themselves, with their beds and their own small chantry and a training room. Sometimes he stays upstairs, and Sophie misses seeing him. Sometimes he breaks--not the rules, exactly, but certainly tradition --and sits in the library himself.

He reads, usually something about history, never anything about magic, or he plays chess with another templar or the occasional brave mage. Greagoir frowns at this, and more than once Sophie skirts by them talking in hushed tones as Greagoir urges Cullen not to become overly familiar with his mage charges.

“If one becomes an abomination, you must strike them down,” Greagoir points out. “You don’t need to hesitate because you’ve gone and made friends.”

It doesn’t stop Cullen, though. And it doesn’t keep his eyes from lingering on Sophie whenever she’s near him, walking down the hall or sitting in his section of the library.

She always makes sure to sit in his section of the library.

When she catches him watching her, which she always manages to do, she just grins back at him. Sometimes when he looks over at her, she’s already staring at him with blue eyes wide. Those times she blushes and turns away, just like he does when it’s his turn to be caught.

He thinks about her. He knows he shouldn’t, but he does. Even when he’s not supposed to be watching her, ensuring that she isn’t in danger of becoming a blood mage or an abomination or planning acts of sedition, he can’t help but think of her.

He wonders what she might say if he spoke to her. What she would do if she knew the way his thoughts drift when he has a few blessed moments of peace. What she thinks when she looks up at him and her cheeks start to darken.

This… desire, this obsession, is unholy. It is unworthy of a templar. It goes against the vows he made, to the Maker and to himself, when he joined the Order.

If she knows, she doesn’t care.

---

It begins during a chess game. They play occasionally, only speaking to discuss the rules and strategy. Cullen has been playing his whole life, Sophie only for the last few months. Ever since he came to the tower.

They don’t play often enough to raise the suspicions of anyone else. Usually Cullen will stay in his chair and play several games with different mages and templars as they have time for him.

Today, Sophie has a plan. She settles into the chair opposite him and arranges her robes so that they hang smoothly around her feet. She offers him one of her heart-stopping smiles as she starts to reset the board for him, small fingers deftly moving the pieces back to their starting positions.

They play in silence for a long while, each making careful consideration before moving a piece.

A templar guard stands nearby in his usual spot, where Cullen sometimes stands, but he’s ignoring them. Sophie hazards a glance in his direction, confirming her suspicions, before shifting in her seat to reach out one leg under the table.

Her foot brushes against Cullen’s, and he jumps, jerking his foot back. His eyes flick up to hers as a blush grows on his cheeks, but he quickly schools his expression to gaze back down at the chessboard.

Sophie waits until after Cullen’s move to try again, shifting until her toes just press into his. He flinches again but doesn’t pull away this time, so she leaves her foot where it is.

After a long moment, she looks up from moving her knight and meets Cullen’s gaze. There’s a high spot of color on each of his cheeks, but when she slides her foot a little closer to him, he still doesn’t pull away.

A little smirk twists her lips as it takes him too long to decide his next move, distracted as he is by her attentions.

When she traps him in checkmate a few moves later, she grows bolder and reaches across the table to lightly tap the back of his hand with her fingertips. His eyes are impossibly wide as he glances toward the templar on duty, but he doesn’t pull away as her fingers slide across his.

“Don’t let me win next time, Ser,” she says, pulling away from him with a grin. When she stands, another mage is ready to take her place, eager to win his dignity back from the templar.

That mage wins, too.

---

“Shh!”

Sophie’s giggles sound loud in the empty library, and Cullen’s hand covers her mouth even as his forehead rests against hers. She wraps her arms around his neck and presses her body against his, blinking owlishly at him until he moves his hand from her mouth to her waist.

“I’m sorry,” she murmurs, and closes the final distance between them to brush her lips across his in silent apology. “I’m glad you could get away. It’s been forever.”

His chuckle is quiet, more a huff of air across her cheek. “I saw you this morning.”

Their noses bump together as she pulls away to frown up at him. “Cullen, don’t be like that. Kiss me please, while we have time.”

He rubs their noses together on purpose again even as his lips curve into a smile. “As you wish.”

He runs his hands from her back over the curve of her hips down to her thighs as he bends down to press their lips together. She sighs against him, immediately opening her mouth to his questing tongue as he lifts her into his arms and takes the final step necessary to press her against the bookshelf.

It’s rare that they’re able to be together when he’s not in his armor. Until now, their kisses have been quick, hesitant things grabbed when they’ve accidentally found themselves alone. Desperation and desire have driven them here, despite the danger. He could be transferred to another Circle or even expelled from the Order, and she could be put in solitary confinement or be made tranquil if they’re discovered.

It doesn’t matter to them, in this moment. Neither of them can think beyond the feel of their bodies pressed together, of her legs around his waist and his strong arms supporting her.

His hot kisses trail down her throat and she shudders, biting her lip hard to keep from making any noises that might alert a templar to their location or activities. This is all they’ve been dreaming about for weeks ever since she made the first move during their chess game. It’s been keeping them warm during lonely nights alone in their beds when they’d rather be anywhere else as long as they can be together.

He ruts against her instinctively, his body chasing the pleasure that his mind still wants to deny him. He muffles a moan against her neck as he stills himself, breath bursting from his lungs in sharp gasps.

Sophie runs her fingers into his curls, tugging on them slightly, and he pulls away just enough to meet her eyes. She’s smiling, lips damp and parted, and it’s all he can do to keep himself from closing the distance between them and drowning himself in her kisses.

“Please don’t hold back,” she murmurs, rolling her hips against him and grinning as his eyes flit closed. “I don’t know when we’ll get this chance again.”

Cullen clenches his jaw to come back to himself. He rests his forehead against Sophie’s and takes a deep breath before saying, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to. Since I’m… and you’re…” His next sigh sounds more like a grunt, and Sophie’s hand strokes over his cheek, skin rasping over the beard starting to grow in.

“I know,” she murmurs. “I know. I want to. You have no idea how long I’ve been thinking of this, of you having me against these shelves, or on the table where we play chess, or over a pew in the chantry.” She squirms in his grip, watching the way he squeezes his eyes closed at her words, the way his nostrils flare at her movements. “We can go back to our rooms if you’d rather,” she adds, running a soothing hand over his cheek.

His eyes pop open, and he heaves a ragged breath. She barely has time to realize her words have made up his mind before he’s adjusting the way he holds her so that one of his hands is pushing her robes out of the way so that he can grab for her smalls. They rip in his hurry and fall to the floor, forgotten as his hand moves to the waist of his trousers.

There is no making love in the Circle. Mages and templars alike take what quiet moments they can find to come together, joining until both parties are satisfied. There’s a constant threat of being found; any sound too loud or a post abandoned for too long draws suspicion, and those who live in the tower learn to take their pleasure quickly.

The sounds of their quiet grunts echo dully in the empty library alcove as they move together. Sweat gathers, kisses are pressed to every inch of exposed skin that can be reached, and when her robe slips off of her shoulder Cullen takes the opportunity to suck a dark mark on Sophie’s pale skin under her collarbone.

When she comes, it’s silently. Her whole body tenses around Cullen’s, her nails scratching him, her breath stopping in her throat as pleasure washes over her. Cullen follows her over the edge immediately, burying his face in the crook of her neck to hide his gasp.

He leans with his whole weight against her, pressing against the bookshelf that she’s thankful is resting in turn against the tower wall, as he recovers. He sets her down, gently, reverently running his hands over her cheeks and shoulders, fingers pressing against the love bite as he straightens her collar.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, ducking down to kiss the top of her head even as she shakes it.

She grabs his face in her hands and guides his lips back to hers. “It was perfect.”

His smile is radiant, and she shivers before it.

“Go to your rooms,” he says, voice softer than she’s ever heard it. “I’ll wait until you’re safe and then I’ll go back upstairs.”

She nods and stretches up to kiss him again.

This is perfect.

---

Of everything she expected to happen after she finally passed her Harrowing, waking up to a panicking Jowan wasn’t on the list. Even when she was allowing herself to be fanciful, she pictured waking up with Cullen nearby, ready to praise her on a job well done.

The fact that he was in her Harrowing chamber was unsettling, but not particularly abnormal.

Jowan’s incessant bleating isn’t abnormal either. Just infuriating.

He follows her through the tower as she checks in with the other mages, listening to their congratulations and trying not to worry that they all seem to know Cullen has feelings for her.

Is this some sort of joke? Are all the mages in on it? If this gets back to Greagoir, Cullen is going to be in a lot of trouble.

She finds him after receiving her Enchanter robes and staff from Greagoir and stops to speak to him with her robes clutched to her chest.

“Do you think they know about us?” she asks, voice barely above a whisper. Cullen’s eyes aren’t on her; they continue scanning the hall as though looking for threats. If he doesn’t look at her, he’s less likely to blush and draw attention to themselves.

He shakes his head and shrugs slightly. “Don’t know. They chose me to be the one to deliver the final blow last night. If you… if you failed.” His cheeks color anyway at the admission, so he gives in and looks at her. His eyes follow the curve of her lips, drinking in the details of her face. “I’m glad you survived.”

She licks her lips slowly, deliberately, watching the way his gaze zeroes in on the action. “I’m glad too. Will you be able to get away tonight?”

He nods, and she smiles up at him. A moment of silence passes, heavy as she’s forced to stay an appropriate distance away, and she turns to leave him alone.

A hand closes on her elbow as she does, and she turns back with wide eyes to see Cullen pulling her back to him. He presses a kiss, fast and hard, to her mouth before he releases her, and she takes a large, wobbly step away from him. A blush covers her face and creeps up to her ears and down her neck as she looks around them to see if they’ve been caught.

They are alone.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps out, his own blush matching hers. “I couldn’t--I’m sorry. I could hardly bear watching you go through your Harrowing. I just kept thinking ‘What if she doesn’t wake up,’ and I…” Sophie takes a step closer to him, a soft shushing noise already building between her lips, but Cullen falls silent and shakes himself. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, holding it deep in his lungs for a moment before letting it out again. “I can’t let you go again without saying that I love you.”

The tower spins around Sophie as his words sink in. She blinks at him, several times, watching as his expression goes from determined to embarrassed to horrified, before she manages to say anything back to him.

“Oh, Cullen. I love you, too.”

His smile is huge and instantaneous, and when Sophie sees it, she mirrors his expression before turning away. She ducks her shoulders and pulls her new robes up to her face, scurrying down the hall to find her new room, the one Irving assigned to her.

Jowan meets her there. He wants her help.

---

“...your antics have made a mockery of this Circle! What are we to do with you?”

Sophie’s stomach clenches at Greagoir’s words, yelled almost directly into her face. She casts a wide-eyed look at Irving, desperate for his help. This was his idea, after all. She didn’t know that Jowan was a blood mage or that he would be able to escape the circle. She shouldn’t be held responsible!

“As I said,” Irving sighs, taking a step closer to Sophie and Greagoir, “she was working under my orders.”

Sophie’s gaze turns from the men in front of her to Cullen, standing behind Greagoir. His face is pale and a sheen of sweat stands out on his skin. He looks like he might faint or be sick, and when their eyes meet his lips twist into a grimace.

He needs to understand this wasn’t her plan. Irving bade her to do it, and she was just obeying. She would never turn to blood magic or willingly create an apostate.

Irving and Greagoir continue to argue. For the second time today, the Circle swirls under Sophie’s feet, and she’s afraid she really will be sick. She wraps her arms around her stomach and looks from one man to the other. What if they make her tranquil for this, afraid she’s a blood mage or Jowan’s thrall? What if they send her to Aeonar for breaking into the repository?

“Knight-Commander, if I may…” Sophie flinches away from the new voice even as she recognizes it as Duncan’s. He comes into the room at a jog, hurrying to join the conversation. Apprentices stick their heads through the closest door, completely enthralled by the conversation but terrified of drawing Greagoir’s ire on themselves. “I am not only looking for mages to join the king's army. I am also looking to recruit for the Grey Wardens. Irving spoke highly of this mage, and I would like her to join the Warden ranks.”

Sophie swallows hard at the bile rising in her throat. Her? A Warden?

It’s preferable to being made tranquil or sent away, but she doesn’t want to leave the Tower. It’s her home. She’s finally found happiness here, with Cullen. She meets his gaze again as Greagoir turns to argue with Duncan, and she would swear she sees tears in his eyes before he turns away.

Finally, Irving turns to Sophie with a soft smile. She tries to return the expression, but her face won’t obey her orders. She bites her lower lip to keep it from trembling as he says, “You have an opportunity few even dream of. Do not squander it.”

“I am to be a Grey Warden?” Her voice shakes and she widens her eyes to keep the tears from escaping.

Irving reaches forward and rests his hand on her shoulder, just like he’s done countless times over the years. He squeezes softy, an unspoken be strong as he says aloud, “Yes. Be proud, child. You are luckier than you know.”

Her mouth opens in soundless protest, but he pushes her toward Duncan, away from the still-furious Greagoir. She tries to watch Cullen for as long as she can, but he’s already turned away from her.

Duncan takes the hint, wrapping his hand around Sophie’s arm. He guides her toward the front of the tower, toward the great doors where she first saw Cullen all those months ago. “Come. Your new life awaits.”

She finds her words. “My things!” she cries. “My things are still in my chest in my old room.”

“I will fetch them for you.” This from Irving, his voice already disappearing down the hall toward the apprentice quarters. “You mustn’t delay.”

She doesn’t see Cullen again before she leaves the Circle.

[part two]

[queen-scribbles]

Monsters Don’t Sneeze

The ‘how Trinne and Jowan became friends’ fic I just realized I hadn’t moved over here yet. This is bordering on criminal, because it’s one of my favorite things I’ve written for my favorite brotp. So, have cute bby Trinne and Jowan fic.

The quiet was nice. 

Sharing a room with fifteen other kids could get chaotic--not to mention loud--and the relative silence he was now enjoying was wonderful beyond what Jowan could put into words. Especially considering the monster of a headache his cold had brought with it. 

He'd been half expecting the cold; it came with so many kids in one room that things would spread pretty rapidly. And at seven he was the youngest apprentice in the tower by a solid year--even that new girl from Kirkwall was older than him--so he knew he was the most susceptible to germs. But the pounding headache that refused to let up no matter what Wynne or the other healers tried was a surprise. He'd been here almost two years and never had a headache come with the sniffles.

The amount of noise the other kids made only served to make the relentless throbbing near unbearable, so Jowan planned to take full advantage of this respite and nap. Which he did, cocooning himself in his blanket and hugging his pillow loosely with one arm, as soon as he was alone.

>>X<<

He wasn't sure how long he had been sleeping when something jolted him awake. Drowsy and disoriented, Jowan froze. The mattress had bulged sharply upward, right under his ribcage. Almost as if someone--or something--had kicked it. He'd heard too many stories in his seven years that were full of boogeymen and monsters under the bed for his sleepy, illness-beleaguered  mind to come to any other conclusion. He immediately tensed, fingers digging into the covers and his arm tightening to a death grip around his pillow.

Maybe if I lay very still and very quiet, whatever is it will go away... he hoped, biting his lip in fear. Suddenly he wasn't relishing the silence as much. Now it seemed to ring with unseen menace as the young mage lay frozen and waiting in his bed.

"Ah-choo!!" The sound was muffled but vehement--and definitely not from him. Jowan frowned. That sounded like it came from under his bed, if he thought about it. 

Monsters don't sneeze, he thought to himself.  

Says who they don't? retorted the part of him that was determined to be scared. Don't. Move.

But his curious side had sparked to life, even under the weight of his cold, and Jowan dragged himself to the edge of his bed to peer underneath. There were no monsters, which was almost as much a disappointment as it was a relief. There was only dust bunnies, dead bugs--and the new girl. 

Mischievous, vaguely slanted eyes the color of Papa's whiskey met his own light blue gaze. She pursed her lips, tapping one finger against them and hissing a desperate "Shh!!" as she motioned for him to back off of her hiding place.

Beyond the obvious fact that she was hiding from the templars, Jowan didn't know what to make of this situation; what to make of her. He still obeyed her unspoken instruction, feeling the gunk clogging his sinuses settle in even more as he sat up. He sneezed, then sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Feeling very confused, not to mention still very, very tired, he curled back around his pillow just as a templar walked in the room.

"You, boy, how long've you been in here?" the man demanded suspiciously.

"All day," Jowan croaked. "'M sig."

Having gathered as much from how congested the young boy sounded, the templar at least stopped scowling. "You seen anybody come in here?"

"No." Jowan hastily buried his mouth in the crook of his arm as a cough followed the word. "Jus' trying to sleeb. Nod having buch lug..."

"Yes, well..." The templar heaved a sigh. "Keep trying. Are you sure you didn't see anyone come in here? Young girl about your age, maybe a little older?"

He shook his head. "Didn't see anybody come in."

The templar grunted in disapproval. "Alright, I'll keep looking, then. You rest up, boy."

"Yesser," Jowan nodded, and flopped back on the bed as the man left. It was only after the sound of clanking footfalls had entirely dissipated that the new girl crawled out from under his bed and instead plunked on the edge.  

"Thanks for that," she grinned, flicking a dead spider off her sleeve.

"Whaddid you do?" Jowan asked, sitting up and shoving his blanket aside for the moment.

She shrugged. "Decided it wouldn't be the end of the world if I skipped a lecture on the dangers of magic juuust this once. Apparently they didn't agree with me."

"Oh--" He sneezed again, interrupting the question he'd been planning to ask.

"I'm Trinne, by the way," she offered with a sympathetic smile. "Don't think we got introduced yet."

Jowan shook his head as he sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Jowan."

Trinne's smile widened and she shifted closer to him. "I heard a couple a' the enchanters mention you. They said you're good with fire spells."

He hunched his shoulders in a not-quite-acknowledgement of the praise. His throat hurt whenever he talked, and he really wasn't comfortable bragging, anyway. But it was nice someone noticed. "You're gunna catch my cold..." he warned, scooting back until he bumped against the wall.

She shrugged, grinning playfully. "Oh, well. I need to thank my rescuer, after all," she teased. Before Jowan could react, she'd snagged his arm and pulled him close enough to give him a quick hug.

Ew, girl germs, a very, very small part of him protested, quickly drowned under a whirl of confusion and fuzzy warmth that spiraled inside him. Trinne let go almost as fast as she'd hugged him, and he felt duly bound to protest, "Bud I didn't do anything..."

"Lying to a templar's definitely doing something," Trinne contradicted.

Jowan shook his head and picked a dust bunny off the limp braid that barely reached down to between Trinne's shoulder blades. "I didn't lie. He asked if I saw anyone come in, and I didn't."

A wide smirk twisted the girl's lips. "I think you and I should be friends. Maybe I wouldn't get in so much trouble if I had someone like you lookin' out for me." She nudged his shoulder playfully.

He didn't have any friends, not really. This idea was rather appealing. "...Okay."

"You sound kinda unsure about that," Trinne teased, raising an eyebrow at him.

Jowan shook his head and yawned. "Jus' tired. I'd like to be friends... after I finish my nap."

She laughed and rubbed his arm comfortingly. "Sorry 'bout that. Anything I can do to make it up to you?"

He thought for a minute as he got himself comfortable again, pulling the blankets up practically to his neck. "Nope. Id's okay. Jus' led me sleeb and we'll call id even."

Trinne chuckled, running her fingers through his tousled hair to get his bangs off his forehead. "Sounds like a deal. You get better, and we'll be friends."

"...okayyy..." Jowan mumbled drowsily, already more than halfway asleep.

><<

Trinne perched on the edge of the younger apprentice's bed and waited until he was completely out before she tiptoed out of the dormitory room, more than a little pleased at this turn of events. She'd made a new friend, evaded the templars, and avoided sitting through yet another lecture on the dangers of magic.

All in all, a very good day, she celebrated inwardly.

She only made it halfway down the hall before she sneezed.

-----------------------------------

Trinne absolutely considers their friendship worth catching his cold. She actually jokes that they’ve been sharing everything since the day they met, so obviously they’re like siblings. Jowan is (usually) not amused. 

Ooh, and I have art of them as kids that I commissioned from the wonderful emegustart. Look at them. They’re adorable.

[cactuarkitty]

Random DA:O Thoughts - Pt 11.

I finally did the opinions and I care about you talks with Alistair, and SAVED :O haha I’ve been watching them multiple times then loading so I hadn’t locked it in yet. It’s official; Norua and Alistair are a couple. <3

God I love him. You know how much I love him? Enough to travel to several merchants so he’d have matching silverite armour. I’m sorry but I’m not going to have him in a silverite breast plate with red steel gloves and boots. :P

I gave Al the locket. The only thing that changed with giving him the locket after saving the Arl, was that he said he’d have to talk to him once he saw him again. Instead of saying he’d have to talk to him if he survived.

Haha Leliana complemented Morrigan on her boobs. She wants to go shopping with her. She’s so sweet ^^

Leliana is obsessed with shoes. I love that!

(continued from Part 10 about the Sacred Ashes quest) There was a dragon egg, I got so excited haha. Thought I’d get a dragon. But nope, just a necklace and something else inside it. Can’t even use the necklace cause it’s for a blood mage.

Dragon! arrrggghhh!

Tried to fight the dragon. Got it’s health half down then it ate me. Should have listened to Alistair’s warning lol.

Into the main temple now. :D

The guardian knight is cool! He had comments to say on all of us.

Poor Alistair wishes he could have gone to the battle to protect Duncan, and would have died instead. :( That makes me so sad! I’m hoping at some point I find something to give to him that’d remind him of Duncan. I might need to buy that dlc.

Leliana’s was quite brutal. Wynne’s wasn’t as bad.

This test reminds me heaps of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade haha.

All the riddles were cool. :) There was a guy named Thane.

Man Jowan is everywhere! Now he’s haunting me as a spirit.

Holy crap I have to fight myself :/ died twice. Fighting myself is hard. Beat her on the 3rd try. I targeted her first since she was blasting us with her spells. Damn you, Norua!

Had to do a cool bridge puzzle, where you had to step on stones to activate the bridge pieces. You would need to leave one character on a stone then swap between characters to move them as well. Cracked me up when I discovered the key to the puzzle with Alistair cause he was super excited!

Omg they made us take all our clothes off! XD ahahaha. We had to walk through the fire.

Found the ashes! Wow I’m so impressed with this quest. It had a lot of depth. The Knight guard said we were worthy, so I took a pinch of the ashes. Apparently you can defile the ashes. I never came across the guy who asks you to do that though. Just made me think of the warden grabbing a handful haha.

Brother Genitivi wants to spread the word of the ashes. I said it probably wasn’t a good idea. All companions agreed with me, especially Alistair who was sarcastic and said “Like the urn has a never ending supply of ashes?”. I decided to kill him which I immediately regretted lol. She threw a freaking dagger straight into his skull :O It was so gross! Al didn’t lose points, but Wynne and Leliana did. I decided to load and picked the “Okay but if it goes wrong it’s your fault” option haha.

Went straight to Redcliffe Castle after to save the Arl. I’m glad we were able to help him. He thought the whole thing was a dream. As a reward he made us champions or something. Then he proposed a land meet (I’ve heard of that before I think). I told him to hand Jowan over to the circle. Not sure what will happen to him. Oh yeah also he wants Alistair to be King. Every single time it is brought up, Al is adament he doesn’t WANT to be king. So I’m not going to push him.

In Denerim again now just doing a bunch of sidequests. Also will take Al to see his sister.

So the drake scales are for a guy named Wade. I went away and did a bunch of back alley side quests then it was done. He is so funny! “Yooou MUST bring me mooore drake scaaales!”

Al said he had a golem doll when he was young from a shop called The Wonders of Thedas. Thought I could get him one but nope. Sucky!

Omg Al’s Sister is such a cow! Poor Alistair. I even said he could give her money. She didn’t say thanks. Just kept going on about how he was a prince and he should give her more money blah blah blah. That he killed her mum. What the fuck! He was a BABY! I’m so mad! I said to her: “That’s hardly his fault!” then she called me a tart or something. Al was like: “Hey don’t speak to her like that!” Can’t believe I wasted 15 gold on her.

Outside now. Poor guy. I saw that hardening option but yeah, I picked to tell him that he doesn’t need her, that people care about him. He said the only one who cared about him was Duncan, to which I said: “I care about you��� :)

Bought a new staff. It’s really cool! Literally haha. Has an ice enchantment on it. Love it! Also bought a new robe. I love shopping in games!

Wynne loves doggo :) they have cute convos.

Omg after Al said thanks for helping with his sis (well for being there for him) he told me he loves me. Squuueeeeeee!! <3

Back at camp. A cutscene automatically began. Al awkwardly asking if he can spend the night together in the tent. Yes! I’m so happy. I headcanon Norua as a virgin too cause she spent her life in the tower when she was very young. Plus it wasn’t something she thought of that much, she was too interested in her magic studies. When she did, she’d always dreamed of waiting for the right guy. Anyway I’m glad I waited for Alistair to make the first move. Also I’m soo happy it wasn’t right before some big battle. I kinda get sick of that sometimes. How they only have sex right before the “we might die” mission. It was magical and beautiful <3 I’ve watched it about 20 times now haha. It sucked tho cause the kiss scene before the love scene was glitched. Al was rubbing his hands in front of the fire and Norua was kissing the air lol. I think it’s the digital copy cause I loaded and redid it many times and it still happened. Oh well! Then after the love scene he said what if people talked, to which i replied if they did I’d feed them to the darkspawn myself. He said: “SEE! This is why I love you!” hehehe. Then he told her again he loved her again. He’s such a sweetheart.

Did anyone else keep Alistair’s original shield and sword? They take up room but I can’t bring myself to sell them. I feel like they’d mean something to him. His shield he received when he was training to be a templar, and the sword he received when he became a grey warden. Maybe he wouldn’t use them anymore but they’d have meaning to him.

Now that Al said he loves me, he says: “Something you need, my dear?” when you talk to him. So cute!

Doing the back alleys is good for money.

Spoke to a hooded courier, all he said was: “Our good friendship is guaranteed.” Who the hell is this guy?

Okay haha I worked it out. It’s a quest with the Blackstone Irregulars.

It’s strange but I can go back into Goldanna’s house, she’s cleaning the floor. I wonder if her name has meaning… cause she’s a gold digger.

Lol Sten said Ferelden smelled like a wet dog. So I said: “Don’t forget the garbage” and he said: “Ah don’t remind me” hehe.

Killed Flemeth. Whoa she was hard. I was THIS close to dying. I literally had a slither left of health and so did she. I’m so glad I didn’t die cause that would have been sooo annoying!!

Aww Morrigan is my friend :) It was a nice chat. She said she might not always prove worthy of the friendship but she would always value it.

Doing the wardens keep dlc now. Soldiers peak is creepy! It was a fun and kinda shocking quest. Now I have a party chest! Thank the Maker!

I had a star metal sword made for Al called Starfang. Looks awesome!!