#and suck at commitment
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for all the amicability in the whirlwind later on i think it's really important to never lose sight of why dru was turned and then why she in turn sired spike. she was tortured and turned for angelus' enjoyment, her continued suffering brings him pleasure. he owns her, she is a Thing to him and she has no way to escape this. she makes spike to be "her brave knight" a position that, especially in fairytales, means a very romantic man physically protects and serves a woman who is usually gonna end up being some kind of damsel in distress.
while yes dru is evil and a vampire she's still obviously very upset about what happened to her and those moments seem to be her times of lucidity, not delusion. not to mention that she's already been beaten out of the notion that she can escape angelus, she tried to as a human and it didn't work, it likely won't work now either, especially if darla sides with him. but with spike around there's someone who basically always takes her side and fights to keep angelus away from her. who is, at least, a buffer between her and her tormentor. he also takes care of her and validates her, something neither darla or angelus seem to be interested in doing at all.
i feel like people tend to intellectually remember what happened to her but forget that it you know, has long lasting consequences when say, they evaluate her behavior in late s2 when angelus comes back. like... yeah ofc she goes back to appeasing him and shit. spike's a wheelchair and she was beaten into shape to be "daddy's little girl" (gag) YEARS before she even MET spike. her abuser is back and her defender is out of commission not to mention her whole view of reality has been actively warped by the most narcissistic sleezoid around.
and all the reasons why people love spike or point to as why he's better with buffy or whatever.... dru was the one who saw those first and picked him because of those. like... it's wild to see people act like they spent a loveless century together and spike was just used the whole time when we SEE them literally in love, he states MULTIPLE times she means so much to him and we get an OUTSIDE SOURCE CONFIRM THEY HAVE "AFFECTION AND JEALOUSY FOR EACH OTHER". we have the spike we know of today because drusilla saw the hero in him and wanted him to rescue her. and ya know, he kinda did. multiple times. over a century of deep, mutual horrifying love. you only even GET spike and buffy in the same ROOM because he loved dru so much he saved her from a mob, traveled with her across a continent (maybe 2 depending on direction) and over an ocean for even a SHOT at a cure. like... cMON.
this got a little off topic into some of my pet peeves but also kinda not because just-- i don't think people always remember that dru is still a victim and a victim who was intentionally frozen the moment of maximum despair and internal destruction. then spent about 20 years being groomed by her tormentor before she ever had anyone care about her as a priority. i think people tend to forget that it was angelus who wanted to turn spike into a monster and drusilla who wanted him to be a hero. it's dru who gives him his swagger, his confidence, his love for life, who encouraged his romanticism and adored his poetics. it's not that she groomed or built him, but just that she saw all that potential already in there and facilitated it and nurtured it. sure in a fucked up vampire way but still.
#train.txt#meta#ats meta#btvs meta#drusilla#spike#sprusilla#i got annoyed at the strawmen who live in my brain again lol#but i also just think.... people tend to forget how damaging angelus was bc he's so fucking lame in the main plotline lol#dru is like the poster child for an imperfect victim#she's tragic but has also committed her own crimes#it does not however stop her from being pitiable#or make her interactions with angelus even ones where she seems happy not insidious and bad inherently#spike could've ditched her at any time in that century if she really sucked that bad but he didn't bc he loved her#implying it's because he's just that much of a beaten dog is just... why do claim to like him as a character then?#like buffy's not gonna fucking make him LESS of one she literally uses him as a self-hate sex toy for a whole season dude#why do you want to imply that spike is forever trapped in a cycle of being sexually used and emotionally abused as a fan of the character??#when his literal best trait is his love????? why are you intent on condemning him for it??? what are you??? angelus???#are we trying to beat the manly into lil willy again like????#i'M JUST SAYING IT FEELS SOMETIMES LIKE WE INTENTIONALLY DON'T GET DRU MISCHARACTERIZE SPIKE AND NERF THE SHIP
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RORY GILMORE 1.06 | Rory's Birthday Parties
#rorygilmoreedit#gilmoregirlsedit#rory gilmore#gilmore girls#ohwarnette#usersolis#usernivi#usermalcfoy#userprattz#mialook#alielook#useraudrey2#userroh#usermai#tuserdanni#dailyflicks#*mine#*mygifs#i meant to make this for her birthday but alas#honestly it sucked that she had to deal with everybody that did not know at all on her birthday of all days#like i would commit several crimes so i think rory handled it as well as she could#the second to last gif is slightly too dark among the rest but it was necessary bc she looked so cutie patootie in that particular gif
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Oh my goodness??? This is horrifying 😭😭


I would literally pee my pants if I was Idia and Malleus just ominously said that. The way they don’t even show him either is so scary (╥_╥).
The end is coming for Diasmonia, and they’re really building it with this horrifying exchange 😭
Over blot Malleus fic... (a few spelling errors in the tags be warned >.<)
#Mmm... A horror themed Overblot Malleus x Reader fic... Mmm#sounds really good about now#imagine you get sucked in by the darkness when travelling with the dream group#the first thing you feel is blot dropping onto your skin#when you look up green eyes tell you who you think you’re looking at#but all his other features are shrouded in shadow#clawed hand stroking your cheek as more black ink falls onto your skin#“are you awake?“#and now you have to desperately pretend you’re still dreaming before he sends you into an even deeper slumber#now you have to pretend this overblot Malleus#is your dear husband#AHHHH having to hug and kiss this scary version of Malleus just so everyone else can complete the plan without him interuppting#Pulling out your nest acting skills to commit to being a lover#evene better#imagine he knows you’re awake but he doesnt seem to mind letting them roam a bit longer just to feel your lips on his#thought he’ll have to stop you soon despite your efforts... after all everyone still needs their happy endings :)))#vesperramble!
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moth-flowers #21
#moth flowers#comics#my art#blood cw#autobio comics#pen and ink#Made this one a few months ago a little after we first made out and i was lowkey getting rlly obsessive and it sucked ass#Like recognizing its infatuation doesn't make it go away as it turns out ToT#Anyways. we were fwb for a while and it was cool n chill then they ended it. and i thought i was cool n chill and over it but SIKE#They get a BF and I am consumed by an overwhelming amount of the Jealousy Beast and overall lots of Big Emotions.#That was what the 'dyke drama' post was about btw#Its been a few days I'm doing a lot better and I'm greatful for that. lotta help from my friends by just hangin' out and talking and asking#For their opinions n shit. been pretty good. made a cake and it fucks and im so sexy for that actually#Like damn the person who was lowkey my ideal partner told me they weren't in a place for commitment#And then they get into a commitment. and although i know it realistically wouldn't have worked out in the long-run (I'll b moving. they def#aren't) I was still fucked up about. But I bet I'm a better cook than him. and also sexier and cooler#(IM ACTUALLY FRIENDS WITH THE GUY AND HE'S PRETTY COOL BUT ALSO LIKE. LET ME BE A PETTY I THINK I'VE EARNED IT)#Annnnywayssss. This is lowkey one of my fav comics i think :D i mean i feel that way about most of them.#But i REALLY like the way the perspective n stuff turned out. like ough fuck yeah#And i make references to the last line all the time with friends that I've shown this to.#ramble in the tags#Thank u to whoever is reading this. pls share ur thoughts and experiences! connection and shit is one of my fave parts of this <3
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"Fight back against fascism by not buying anything for a day! Cripple capitalism by skipping work and calling it a general strike! Protest the government by not voting!"
Hey so this is probably nothing, just a totally weird coincidence, hardly worth bringing up, but it seems like all of those things all boil down to sitting on your ass at home and not doing anything that would involve actual effort or make you talk to another human being.
I don't want to sound crazy here but what if instead of trying to make inaction sound revolutionary, we tried - and again, this is going to sound insane - what if we tried actually organizing the people in our direct communities by running for school boards, attending and speaking out at city council meetings, and identifying and campaigning for progressive politicians?
#i'm so fucking tired of people being like 'RAAAHH WE'RE GOING TO FIGHT BACK! WE'RE SO RADICAL! WE ARE THE CHANGE!'#and then their 'radical fight' is like. 'boycott amazon for one day. that'll teach 'em!'#i'm sorry but if you want to see actual change you are going to have to put in significant time and effort and it's going to fucking suck#it's going to involve confronting people and being uncomfortable and spending hours of your life in boring meetings#so either commit to doing the work or stop playacting about it on the internet
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The fans: Ugh Sonic was just so preachy. I mean obviously he's supposed to be the good guy, so any uncomfortableness I feel here and any way I feel like Sonic's choices are framed as being why some other people have shitty lives is just bad writing because he is obviously supposed to be right always, but this characterization makes no sense. Isn't he right for the things he did?
Ian Flynn, using Kitsunami to say the (barely even at this point) quiet part even louder: Hey it's almost like ever since the Mr. Tinker event we've been purposely running with the critique of Sonic as being more selfish than he appears. Sonic is upholding a system of Eggman v Sonic that currently benefits him and shuts down talk of how to improve the current system because he likes his own personal enjoyment and he's attached enough to Eggman that he'd rather Eggman pretend to be a good person than be stuck in prison for life. He doesn't even quite practice what he preaches. We are trying to show that the current hero v villain system and Sonic's recklessness currently affects some people poorly and that Sonic isn't a perfect hero.
#fandom wank#sonic the hedgehog#idw sonic comics#idw sonic 2024 annual#2024 sonic annual spoilers#idw somic comic spoilers#idw sonic spoilers#idw 2024 sonic annual spoilers#i just be ramblin#god one of these days I need to commit to the sonic character essay#because you HAVE to be able to see Sonic as a multifaceted character that is surprisingly selfish and a bit self centered despite his image#as a good hero who is always right to understand what the writers for Sonic Prime and Idw Sonic are trying to do#The point is not that Sonic is secretly a bad guy or anything#the point is that we're already primed to assume that anything Sonic does is a good thing because he's a hero and protagonist of what is#considered a 'children's media'#And people who can see those moments in different games or properties times where Sonic isn't being so good as him actually not being so#good of a person are primed to explain it away as flaws of the writing or the genre at that time *because* Sonic's behavior is not said to#be bad or punished in those games#And become we're already primed to assume that Sonic is already the good guy who's making the best choices no matter what‚ it's supposed to#be shocking when the narrative takes a step back and gives a critique of this status quo by showing us the effects of it#But instead of having some sort of eye opening event or being willing to meet the narrative where it's at#99% of the people who post here got uncomfortable and just doubled down‚ saying that because these things are being pointed out and some of#Sonic's actions (that aren't even alien to the games)#are being framed in a not so good light‚ then it must not be purposeful. That it must be bad writing through and through and just bad#Sonic characterization#because for people who claim they want Sonic as a series to be deeper and more thought out they sure start to pearl clutch when they feel#like a property isn't being as shallow as the very same games they think kinda suck#anyways anyways sorry about the rant I'll get back to regularly scheduled posting after this#vent post
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i have a lot of things to say but to keep it short moffat's writing so often completely lacks emotional weight, either because he fails to insert it or because he removes it without realising
as an example of the former, both the women in this episode have scenes where the sad music swells and everyone's crying and you're meant to be sad along with them, her mum died, the doctor's leaving, they're sad conceptually but i couldn't help sitting there and thinking... i just don't care about this. you've failed to write characters or scenes i can get emotionally invested in and instead reached for the cheapest tricks available (universally relatable sad concepts such as dying parent or ending friendship) and figured that would be enough to elicit a reaction. this is something he comes back to countless times, which i don't want to dwell on here but once you notice he's doing it, it's everywhere.
as for the latter, take the death of trev. he's a likable guy and watching him slowly dying would be quite sad but my immediate thought wasn't "aw oh no :( " it was that i have seen an unfortunate amount of moffat media and all his doctor who episodes so i am 100% certain that this isn't trev's actual end, that somehow his consciousness is gonna get uploaded to a database and live on, so there's no point being sad for him. and what do you know, like 20 minutes later they confirm i was right, which the doctor and the audience learns at the same time (except the doctor learns he's alive before he even learns he died, so he never even has to mourn). moffat's completely removed any kind of weight regarding the character's lives since he never actually just up and kills anyone so his stakes are impossible to take seriously.
#i wanted to like this ep i really did!!! my guy is in it!!!! i like liking things!!!!!!! but it wasn't good :( man..#i have literally like 50 tangents i wanna go on but i forced myself to keep it short. it was difficult#they call me no stakes steve coz i literally cannot ever commit to just killing a character there always has to be some bs#his only character that's even slightly dead is amy and even she lived a full happy life like... man....#whatever those are different posts. or a 5 hour video essay on all the reasons why i think he sucks. who's to say#doctor who#dw meta#i guess??????????#anti moffat#joy to the world#dw spoilers
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It's so weird and messed up to me how society puts marriage on this pedestal as something we must aspire for as part of growing up, and how it's literally treated as something folks in committed long term relationships have to do in order to be "truly committed" or "truly serious" or "truly longterm".
Like why does a relationship have to have a legal contract involved that is sanctioned by and dissolvable only by the law to be considered valid and true?? Why do folks have to enter a legal commitment contract to be considered "actually truly for-reals serious" long term partners? Goverment's really gotta be in our business in order for us to be seen as fully adults or for partnerships to be seen as fully valid? Hell no!! You kidding me?? Society so weird for that fr 😭
No hate to anyone ofc, but the way marriage is largely considered an expectation for people and for partnered relationships is so weird and damaging.
#random vent#the amount of crap I gave myself for so long for being hesitant about the idea of getting married and how the idea of it gave me anxiety...#but I felt I NEEDED to do it eventually in order to be “truly never alone in adulthood” or “truly committed/in partnership with someone”#it took me years into adulthood to realize I can actually choose not to abide by societal expectations like this#and how a person's or a partnering relationship's value shouldn't be dependent on any ritual or contract or whatever#you can do whatever you want forever and nobody and no societal norm gets to determine the value of any part of you or your life#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#romance ambivalent#marriage-averse#amatonormativity SUCKS😭
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The ONLY TIME I could genuinely see Anakin becoming a Crechemaster by choice and actually enjoying it is in an AU where he's found by the Jedi as a baby and raised among them from the beginning and then remains a Jedi and it's a happy fix-it AU somehow and Palpatine dies and either there's no war or the Republic wins the war and Anakin's had like 2-3 Padawans or something already, he's been on the Council for like ten years, he's a little older now, like 50 or 60 years old perhaps, he's ready to move away from responsibilities like the Council or taking on an apprentice of his own, so he decides to settle down into being a Crechemaster, teaching up the newer generation of Jedi, occasionally wandering off on shorter missions if he feels like it or traveling places when he gets the urge since he knows there's plenty of other Crechemasters who are looking after the kids as part of the Jedi's communal system and his absence won't mean a bunch of younglings are suddenly left without supervision or caretaking. It's a nice retirement after several decades as a Knight where he was constantly away from the Temple doing other work or focusing a lot on raising one apprentice or being a part of the Council.
#star wars#anakin skywalker#crechemaster anakin au#jedi#pro jedi#this man has never met a padme amidala and even if he did she wouldn't be enough to tempt him away from his life as a jedi#if he knew palpatine then he thought he was a deeply corrupt man#this is the 'an actual jedi through and through anakin au'#he's never even once considered he'd be happier anywhere else#he's THOUGHT about it obviously#they all THINK about it#but every time he thinks about an alternate option for his life he thinks it sounds way worse than being a jedi#'why would i want to be a politician? they suck'#'why would i want to be a pirate? i can do all the cool stuff they do as a jedi without being a criminal'#anakin without the attachment issues and who was raised a jedi is actually 100000% committed to this life#of course there are other roads his life could've taken had the jedi not come for him#but that wouldn't make them BETTER roads
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So I finally started playing Death Stranding
#dravensart#Death Stranding#Death Stranding fanart#Sam Bridges#Sam Porter Bridges#BB Death Stranding#I'm really really sorry for offering a terrible shitpost as first fanart of this game#but I'm only 16 hours in and I don't want to commit to anything more complex until I'm done with the game :')#also no spoilers please I know it's an old game by now but I'm Slow#listen I love how everyone is always so cheerful and supportive but I also utterly suck at videogames#sorry Sam
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practicifng drawing a bit more realistic … w oscar of course !
i rlly have not dabbled in realism as much as i have since being an f1 fan so this is all very Kind of New and weird to me ,… so my f1 art wil Vary quite a lot .. >_>
#doing this instead of f1tober i suck#but THIS IS MORE FUN#I HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES#also this man is in the same state as me rn???#oscar piastri fanart#op81 fanart#op81#oscar piastri#f1#f1 art#formula 1#my art
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#Stan motherfuckin Hurley#the crimes I would commit to suck him off#call the police there’s a rabid woman on the loose#michael keaton#this is a michael keaton thirst account#gifs by pang on bluesky#american assassin
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closing time
#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL#sparks speaks#vent#again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it#long post#edit: fine to rb idgas#ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol#i dont know how i survived the first time#<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely#if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon#the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck.#its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose.#anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out#if youre reading this preciate you. drink water
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ykw actually fuck everyone else fitzsimmons had the best dynamic of any characters ever. so inseparable they were originally written as one character. started off as best friends and nearly died for each other three times before the underwater confession. star crossed and cursed. they were so powerful the writers had to drag simmons to another planet to generate separation between them. that whole scene where even their evil alter egos are so into each other they start violently making out instead of killing them. fitz dies and simmons rescues him from fucking space. what the fuck. need that.
#lee’s bullshit#they r my number ones forever im so obsessed w them forever and ever#they were deadass my lockscreen for a year in high school I was COMMITTED#agents of shield can oscillate so wildly between being good and sucking so bad but they were always peak#leo fitz#jemma simmons#agents of shield
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i need to stop shadowboxing the concept of romance when i write. i need to make my brain go to a world where romance doesn’t exist when i write because feeling its constant presence and people’s expectations of its presence and reading in of its presence is making me a worse writer.
like. thinking a lot about that post that’s going around rn about Books That Are Clearly Afraid Of The Reader. been thinking about how fear of being interpreted or perceived or whatever permeates a Lot of what i do and always has, creatively, and frankly compromises it, especially in terms of fear of people reading romance into my stuff because of how much i write about interpersonal relationships and intimacy and reliance and vulnerability and intense emotional situations.
i need to stop trying to build a boat with my main priority being ‘i dont want people to insist to me that this is a car or make people feel tricked into seeing a car etc etc’ when there is actually no part of this boat that needs to be made with cars in mind at all i could just Build The Damn Boat. this metaphor got lost.
point is i need to stop letting romance take up space in my stories at all. even if it's just as something i'm doing backflips over and around. i need to just start writing about platonic relationships - friendships, queerplatonic relationships, familial relationships, etc - without feeling like i need to first disprove romance as an automated and inherent assumption. romance should have no quarter here, even in feeling forced to deny it.
#gav gab#thinking aloud#sorry if youre in a server with me where you have to see this twice in a row#im just thinking a lot about it#this is definitely um. Influenced. by ocd.#but it's like...#the duelling desires to both have my work understood as being deliberately joyfully and unambiguously#about platonic relationships#while not wanting to put myself in a situation of constantly having to be like#“i love you As A Friend” says character A#character B wanted to hug character C but not in a romantic way or anything#characters D and F didn't have a romantic relationship but it was deeply intimate and committed and Real anyway#i want to just. yknow. have those things exist without having to give space and deference to romance even in denial#yknow?#i just dont know how to have both things at once#'what about ambiguity though gav' i dont want ambiguity.#i dont want Fuck Labels Who Cares What The Type Of Relationship Is! Fuck Platonic And Romantic!#It's Just Love!#i want platonic. period. end of.#good for people who find joy and value in ambiguity and unlabelled dynamics for real im happy for you#that's not where my joy and my sense of being seen lies#anyway. i just feel like im constantly shadowboxing romance yknow#and i want to stop. bc not only does that suck ass it just#i think it makes me a worse writer. i really do think that.#im just so SO aware of how people are going to interpret things most likely#as it has happened to me and in front of me Constantly#since i started sharing my creative work in any capacity#im just sick of it yknow. im sick of constantly having to be so hyperaware of fucking romance#in my writing
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