#and such a great way to interact with the community

[elderwisp]

Hi guys! I was tagged in a simblr love train and I was planning on putting together something but I've genuinely sat here and typed and retyped multiple times. To be quite honest, I've felt so much support this year that I feel like whatever I do or say wouldn't begin to be enough. I guess the best way to put it is there has been such an extension of kind that I hope everyone recognizes how much of an impact it does have in someone's life. In this rendition of a simblr train, I'd like to be direct on how I've been impacted by these individuals!

I wanted to start out by appreciating the lovely people who tagged me, to be included is really sweet and I appreciate that so much! ♡

@likelyamused @citylighten @slusul @living-undead @queenofthedork @southernsimmin @zynoox

Second, I wanted to highlight the individuals that help keep this community alive through countless reblogs of a variety of blogs! Without fail, I find at least one or two new blogs to follow and I'm certain everyone is incredibly grateful as well! ♡

@acuar-io @azeterna @matchalovertrait @changingplumbob @percolikes @sadraccoon061 @simswoon @moonlitfalls @hauntedtrait @notasimblr @periipheral @alientown @simarcana @venriliz

To the writing discord, guys, I'm so serious when I say each and every one of you is talented. I love reading into everyone's commentary over certain pieces and to hear the thought behind each character, scene or plot is fantastic! ♡

(there's about thirty of us LMAO)

For the CC creators that publish free custom content to keep our saves new and exciting! Whether it's hair, accessories or presets to a variety of pose packs, everything you make is amazing! ♡

@simmireen @simandy @khadijah551 @herecirmsims @surely-sims @pralinesims @atticwindowatdawn @jeffsshrimpmas @mosneakers @madebycoffee @rebouks (puttin u two here as well hehe) @nectar-cellar @rollo-rolls @kashisun

To the storytellers, artists and visionaries, I love the worlds and characters you create! ♡

@thebramblewood @warmsol @salemssimblr @swiftviolets @arcadewonder @yukikocloud @birdietrait @flovoid @flirtygh0ul @cinamun @moonwoodhollow @omgkayplays @amanda-plays @neishroom @yekkiz @kissyck @cloudellesims @rottengurlz @mikachusblog @lucidicer @gunthermunch @dejasenti99 @theplottdump (adding u in here as well hehe) @elksun @afrolatinotrait @waveport @cakepoppresent @orphyd @raiiny-bay @lilamausmaus @weirdosalike @goldenwaves @acidheaddd @polarmoon @barbieaiden @bunnithechubs @sikoi @kazuaru @softle0 @eggtooth @non-sims @catsinmugs @nekrophoria @mrsimqle @claudtrait @gvaudoiin-tricou @kuroashims @stellarfalls

There's also one person I wanted to shout out and that is @lynzishell ! Lindsey, you are one of the first people to engage in my story and since the start you have commented, reblogged (with comments!) and at times will message me in the writing discord and that's not just for me, but with a huge amount of people! and i think that dedication to hearing people out and engaging without skipping a beat says a lot of great things about your character! I am so appreciated of every single interaction and you deserve nothing but the best (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)°ᡣ𐭩 . ° . !!

[nothorses]

a transmasc only discord server is kind of fucking weird tbh. you call transfems seperationists for voicing their unique oppressions and then get pissy and make a server where you can just circle jerk and pat each other on the back, never questioning your transmisogyny? i think people can see who the true “seperationists” are.

About a year ago the queer black woman leading the organization we were working to start asked me and the other white people working with her to lead an affinity group that white families joining the org would be required to participate in, and which would read and discuss anti-racist/anti-white supremacist literature together, as a way of protecting space for black & brown staff, families, and program participants.

She stressed that it was important for this to be specific to white people, and explained that she wanted to start a parallel one for people of color involved in the org, because those conversations are really different between those groups. Importantly, the kind of honesty and vulnerability required to effectively unpack white supremacy culture is, well, generally not safe (or often possible) for people of color to embody in a space where white people are unpacking their own white supremacist ways of thinking and acting- even if they're doing it in an explicitly anti-racist context.

This is derived from the idea of "affinity groups", often specifically "identity affinity groups", which are commonly used in activist spaces and workplaces seeking to dismantle oppressive systems and culture from within. The idea is that creating spaces specific to identities allows for conversations about personal experiences with oppression that would be difficult to hold otherwise; both for those who have been harmed, and those who have done harm. It's not an end-all be-all kind of tool, but it can definitely be helpful.

In the context of marginalized identities, these kinds of spaces can also be a really great way of facilitating community-building, especially where there is a capacity for establishing positive cultural norms in the process (like not tolerating certain kinds of bigotry, especially if you also make space to express, challenge, and unpack bigoted ideas).

Transmascs, as a group, historically struggle to connect with community. Invisibility coupled with the isolating nature of queerness (as a marginalized identity that emerges later in life, and generally not through genetics), and in particular the way transness tends to funnel into a desire to "pass" & further isolates folks by preventing them from even identifying one another, contributes to this naturally. There's also a phenomena in which feminist and queer community spaces tend to be hostile towards anyone they perceive as "masculine", and therefore threatening. This includes transmascs (esp. those who are or have transitioned) and transfems (esp. those who are pre-transition/non-transitioning or butch), along with plenty of other groups (black people especially).

Thus, a transmasc-specific server serves a few purposes:

It acts as a space for transmascs to discuss our unique experiences with lessened anxiety around accidentally phrasing something in a way that does harm to others in the space

It acts as a space for transmascs to challenge one another on bigoted or harmful ideas, which may be better received coming from someone who shares some of those personal experiences- and is often easier given from a person who is not personally hurt by what was said/done.

It acts as a space for transmascs to build community with other transmascs

It establishes positive community norms early in that process, which often carry outside of that space and into others.

Among lots of other things!

Identity affinity groups aren't the end-all be-all; it's important for folks to interact, connect, and build community with people from a diversity of backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives. That's how we grow, and it's part of how we make sure the ideas we have about the world include and account for everyone.

Trans experiences have been absent from a huge portion of feminist theory; earlier theory especially. That- and the exclusion of black & brown experiences- is how we got radfeminism. Also known as second wave feminism, which preceded the inclusion of intersectionality that defined the third wave.

Transmasc experiences have been absent from a huge portion of trans theory; this isn't a conspiracy or anything, it's something Julia Serano acknowledges in the opening pages of Whipping Girl (even though she also goes on to make assumptions about experiences not her own anyway).

My opinion is that community-building is an essential step in promoting the inclusion of transmasc perspectives on a larger scale: it gives transmascs a space to identify patterns in their experiences. We can then take our observations into diverse communities, where we can identify similarities and differences in how others are treated, learn from one another, and cultivate a more complete understanding of oppression across all demographics.

Your ask makes me think you're not really interested in all of this- and you were instead just looking to make me feel or look bad (or perhaps just make yourself feel good)- but maybe I'm wrong! I would love to be wrong. Or maybe someone else will learn from this instead.

[iamnmbr3]

How voldmort treats Snape also makes me think of how voldmort when he found out about the two children the prophecy was about, hpw he chose the half blood child like him. I don't know what it means but it gives me something to think about. 🤔

Yep. Except even more-so. Harry's mother is muggleborn, not actually a muggle, and if his parents had lived Harry would have grown up very integrated into the magical community and with a lot of wealth and basically lived a live comparable to that of any well-off pureblood child, even if his blood status would be looked down on by some traditionalists.

Snape on the other hand is the child of a muggle father and a witch mother who appears to be the victim of abuse just as Merope was (tho Merope's abuse was at the hands of her father and brother, not Tom Sr.). His parents have a deeply troubled relationship. He didn't have an involved parental figure, grew up in poverty, and experienced social ostracization. He understands the muggle world but is an outsider there, and also isn't part of the pureblood elite. He's extremely talented at and interested in magic. They are VERY similar.

And Voldemort definitely favors Snape in a way he doesn't favor any of his other Death Eaters. He seems to enjoy interacting with him to some extent (and Snape is smart enough to follow what Riddle is saying and not fall for his sometimes cruel verbal traps the way Bellatrix does) and he never tries to degrade or humiliate him as he does with his other followers - even Bellatrix. He seems to genuinely admire Snape and never shows signs of contempt towards him. Snape also knows how to handle him - he understands that Tom doesn't tend to appreciate or respect too much groveling - and Snape is able to manipulate him into believing he can be trusted.

Tom also gives Snape a chance to come back late and explain himself, rather than killing him on sight. He actually apologizes for killing him and expresses regret - the only time he ever does so - and seems unwilling/unable to use the killing curse on him. He also goes to great lengths to seek an alternative to killing Snape - and seems eager for Snape to know this fact, and to understand. Additionally, the whole book series happens because Snape asks Voldemort to spare Lily's life...and he listens. And goes to great lengths to try to honor the request - even arguing with her. Yes, he ultimately kills her, but the fact that he truly would have let her go if she took him up on his offer is extraordinary. We don't see him interacting with or treating any of his other Death Eaters in this way. Snape is different.

[keepmovinjunior]

i just wanted to talk about something (under a read more bc it is out of character)

everyone is here for their own reasons, and that's cool. i totally get that. i'm not about to tell anyone how to spend their time or operate on their own blog.

i, personally, am here for fun and that's it. i'm here to write. i'm here to ramble about fictional characters and have silly little interactions on the dash / expand on my character's relationship with your character's. my real life has its own stressors (i have a great life but obviously not everything is peachy keen and being someone who is politically informed and inclined, i want to have a safe space in which i am not interacting with that type of content that i can retreat to for my own relaxation). at the end of the day this is, as i said, playing tumblr barbies for me (and most likely for most people). it's a game and it's not that serious. in fact, it's like. not serious at all.

some people are here for community and friendships and that's totally fine. i'm not against making friends, either, and i do really like and appreciate a lot of the people i interact with often and on a daily basis, even if i don't know most of you well at all. we engage in the same hobby and we're all aliases behind a screen but i really do enjoy talking to many of you. however, at the end of the day, if i don't make friends here, that's fine, too. i'm just chilling!

having said that, i've been around for a long time and have, of course, made friendships, had relationships, gone in and out of certain blogs, etc. and this is not a hobby i think i will ever outgrow (probably will just have less time for during certain periods of my life - and most people probably will experience that). i've had falling outs, i've had moments of being uncomfortable with certain people, i have had headcanons and sometimes even some of my own graphics lifted from my blog by others of the same muse, i've even had whole ass relationships with other writers in which i was very hurt. but here's the damn thing, ok: i never, ever, not even once, had a public DNI that other people had to adhere to to write with me, tried to call someone out or incite community wide drama by dragging other unrelated people into what happened over my own personal experiences, or tried to control anyone else over it. i always understood that not everyone is going to feel the same way, or have the same experience, with another person. i understood that dealing with my feelings about the situation was on me, and it was in my own best interest to learn how to move past or live with what happened. if i felt uncomfortable with seeing that other person around, it was my own responsibility to handle my own feelings as i saw fit, and no one else needed to do that for me. this is just good philosophy toward life in general, but, as it applies to tumblr: if i couldn't handle seeing someone on this platform and co-existing in this space, i would leave, sign out, or just. literally do anything else. i knew that my own friends and my own fun is what i should focus on.

there is a feature on tumblr called filtering. you can blacklist tags and users. you can filter things that make you uncomfortable if you want to stay but don't want to see those things. you can unfollow. you can block. you can literally do anything else, and you don't owe explanations for that. or, if you can't handle it even with those things done, you can sign out and leave and invest your time in something healthier and more relaxing. this is a hobby.

by all means, have your DNIs, make your call outs (leave me out of those, though, because i guarantee you that unless this person is a sexual predator, groomer, or scam artist, i am not going to care, especially if i have no relationship with anyone else involved in said drama) and will think you're ridiculous for it. just know that the moment you start to try to control how other people operate, you will lose out on a lot of really good experiences and just make this a more miserable place for you to be.

the best healing is exposure and love and support. it's not focusing on what other people do or seeking out spaces in which you will be triggered because you enjoy being a victim.

take it from me, a 30 year old queer woman who has gone through my fair share of loss in life: it's not that serious. it's really not.

[sga-owns-my-soul]

19 and 20 for the fic asks!

19- What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

uhhh i'm really bad at tagging my fics so technically john sheppard and rodney mckay are my most used tags? 😂 i do have a misunderstanding tag and a miscommunication tag and that's the closest i am to repeating a tag so that i guess?

20- Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

lmao does writing mcshep count? 😂 i do tend to write a lot about being overly emotional and Words Get Stuck bc of the emotions (which is definitely not projection nope not at all definitely not) im sure there's more but i can't actually think of any other specific examples currently!

[fenmere]

Ah! Let us regale you all with some of our anecdotes of luck and wonder regarding IRL interactions with other systems:

When we came out as plural, we treated it a lot like coming out as trans. We had decided that we were not going to be in the closet about anything, when we'd come out as trans, so when we finally accepted our plurality we made it a point to eventually come out to everyone we knew. This is dangerous in many parts of the world, and largely depends on having an accepting family and broader community. Our family was less accepting than we expected, but we plowed through it anyway, because we're obstinate.

ANYWAY, we found that perfect strangers and acquaintances were way more accepting of our plurality than anyone else. And almost immediately, a peripheral friend of ours said to us, "Hey! I know someone who is also plural, and they're a dragon, and you should meet!" And they introduced us to a system is now one of our closest and most important friends.

The two of us would then go for walks around downtown talking loudly and openly about being autistic and plural, or plural and therian. Very embarrassing stuff if you're neurotypical and/or care. Of which we were neither.

Then, on one of those days where we were sitting in our favorite coffee shop blabbing about plurality, someone came over from the other side of the room just to say, "Hi! I'm plural, too!" and exchange contact info and a few stories.

This has now happened more than once.

But our favorite story comes from just after we'd moved to a whole new city, and hardly knew anybody, but walked around with our pride jacket on with all our patches on it.

As we were crossing the street, heading for the bus stop, we saw a Person With A Haircut Like Ours sitting on the bench. And they saw us and waved first. And when we sat down, we were both all smiles and greetings, because it was a cool Same Hat moment.

Then they asked us about the patch on our jacket sleeve, and in the heady euphoria of meeting Someone Queer we, and our vow never to be in the closet, we went ahead and explained that it was our system logo.

"Oh! I'm a system, too!" they exclaimed. And then we talked about plural stuff for the rest of our bus ride.

And finally, throughout the eight or so years we've been out as plural, our network of online system connections has grown so much that it has bled into our daily life. We now live with another system as one of our two nesting partners, and monthly visit another system who is in our polycule. Fully three of our partners are systems, and they know systems. And, several of our IRL friends have come out as plural since as well, largely due to the fact that we're out and have shown what it's like.

There are systems everywhere.

If you are in a place where you can be open about your own plurality, and you can be a safe person to talk about plurality with, you will meet other systems.

Like, think about this. If you take a conservative number for instances of plurality, just the clinically diagnosed cases of DID in the U.S. (not any other kinds of systems), which is something like 1.5%, that means that Portland, OR, has 9,787 diagnosed DID systems living within the city limits. With the greater Portland metro area, that blooms to 39,000 DID systems. If you go with a ridiculously conservative number, like 0.5%, it's only a third of that, 3,000 for Portland, and 13,000 for the great area. That's still a LOT! And that's not counting all the different types of plurality (OSDD and the various forms of non-disordered plurality, plus anyone who's just not diagnosed for one reason or another).

You've already encountered so many other systems in your life. The only reason you don't realize it, is because the world has us all terrified of being out about it.

As a system only knowing 2 other systems in real life it's nice to know that others experience the same things and it's not just a culture thing. We're all confused but got the spirit. And we love your blog.✨🖤

Lately I have been thinking on things similar to this in regards to other communities, so I want to tell everyone: we are here we are here we are here. There are systems just now hitting their teenage years and there are systems well into middle-age. There are systems at work and at school. There are systems watching the snow fall and there are systems out enjoying the sun. There are systems going to the store, going to the library, going to a concert, going to a party. There are systems preparing dinner, there are systems having a midnight snack, there are systems going out to brunch. There are systems playfully arguing with their friends, there are systems volunteering at shelters, there are systems watching the newest episode of their favorite show. There are systems writing books, there are systems leaving doodles on napkins, there are systems who swear they're going to finish knitting that one scarf just give them some time, there are systems laughing at their first (failed) attempts at needlepoint. There are systems making appointments and systems going home after one. There are systems in the mountains, there are systems by the sea. There are systems changing careers, changing majors, changing their minds. There are systems going on dates – some good, some bad. There are systems playing pretend with their children. There are systems everywhere, everywhen. We are here we are here we are here. You are not alone. None of us are alone. It is not just you or those you know personally. We are here.

Thank you, dear anon, for the kind message. We are glad you, too, are here with us – with all of us.

[wannabanauthor]

Another gushy BuckTommy post

Okay, but that scene where Buck says that he doesn't know Muay Thai, and Tommy immediately says "I could teach you"!

I personally believe that not only is Tommy being literal here, but he's also implying that they don't need to have common interests in order to hang out with each other. I could just be reading too much into it, but I really get the sense that both offers of lessons (flying and Muay Thai) were essentially Tommy wanting to spend time with Buck regardless of the reason.

Because Buck had been implying that Tommy would of course want to hang out with Eddie because Eddie is awesome AND Eddie and Tommy have a lot of common interests, so it makes sense they would get along so well.

And here's Tommy with a smile saying that he could just simply teach Buck Muay Thai and that they don't have to share common interests/hobbies in order to hang out.

Then you can tell Buck gets all flattered because he jokingly but also serisouly asks if the flying lessons and Muay Thai lessons would be on the same day. Also, the way he kind of cocks and tilts his head, squints his eyes all flirty like, and smiles at Tommy after the lessons offer is so cute and flirty. Tommy definitely picked up on it.

Because Buck is joking but he also does want to spend more time with Tommy, so he just throws it out there "haha, you would want to see me twice in a day?"

Then Tommy drops the line that we all need to obsess more over: "Probably not on the same day" while he is looking at Buck's lips.

And he sounds all nonchalant about it, but you can tell he's serious because before he looks at Buck's lips, he's looking up in the air like he's planning the lessons schedule out in his head. So he's 100% game for seeing Buck twice, and he'd like to spread it out so he sees Buck more often. Instead of seeing him one day, he can see Buck on two separate days.

Tommy is all for spending more time with Buck, yet he admits it so casually while also staring straight at Buck's lips.

You can tell Tommy's desire to spend more than one day with Buck resonates with Buck because his voice gets all serious when he says "Good, because trying to get your attention has been kind of exhausting."

Buck sounds so earnest and honest and full of want here, which clued Tommy in that his feelings were reciprocated.

And additional side note: While watching a GIF of BuckTommy during the Harbor tour, Tommy quickly checks Buck out when he offers the flying lessons. When he says "I could you give lessons" or whatever the quote is, he looks down briefly, for like a millisecond.

Me, in my fanfic writer experience, is projecting that Tommy was subconsciously thinking about giving Buck dick lessons when he said that. That entire conversation was full of hidden queer speak. I don't what the actual term for it is, but it's like the sexuality version of code-switching but doing it cautiously.

[fluentisonus]

I think I mentioned this before in my post a little while ago abt valjean not talking, but reading the barricade section just now & he talks so little. I think the only things he says the entire time is to ask for a gun to shoot down the mattress and to ask for javert & then say he's shot him -- people talk to him plenty but he never replies. and this taken with the fact that it's such a long section without his pov at all it I feel like really shows how much of a sort of. social/communicative wall I guess? he can & does put up sometimes, and how impenetrable & unreadable (& in marius' case disconcerting) it comes across. like even we as readers who know him really well are not getting much from this at all about what he's thinking or feeling or planning, he's incredibly hard to read without that element of internality

[lilac-nites]

.

[jungwildeandfree]

i have a lot of snooty old-money behaviors but the one which i do recommend wholeheartedly to other people is, if you live in a multi-unit with a dedicated groundskeeper, live-in maintenance or one specific 'fix-it' person, i believe that every year around the holidays that person should receive from you a christmas card with a little note and $20.

[neo-shitty]

i've let myself be fully absorbed by minecraft :')

[thebaffledcaptain]

A question for anyone who works in living history/historical interpretation:

What’s the atmosphere like for queer people, especially with regard to gender? Are they picky about who portrays who? I’m looking into some internships and volunteering opportunities and getting a little nervous based on my knowledge of the reenactment community—which is admittedly different, but I’m not sure by how much. I figure it depends on the place but I wouldn’t know. It makes me sad to even have to worry about it but I love it so much and would really love to get involved more formally… it just has to be in a way I’d be able to be comfortable with.

[minnaci]

happy thanksgiving! so so grateful to have met so many cool people through this lil bloggie :') thank you all for caring about me and listening to what i have to say even when i am getting a little freaky with it :') we are celebrating non-traditionally in my mind you all can come over and i'll make nasi lamak and we can cuddle pile after!

[castielfucks]

I wish more people realized that when someone is seeking diagnosis, it's not because we are trying to collect diseases like infinity stones. it's not to be quirky or interesting.

diagnosis is the guide to resources and community. knowing how to help yourself, being able to understand yourself, connecting with others with similar experiences so you dont feel crazy or alone, finding the right places to look for relief and support, learning about accommodations that can make your life not only easier but liveable.

and for all these reasons, people are allowed to be excited for their diagnosis, theyre allowed to lean into it and advocate for themselves with language they didn't even know existed for the way they live. it is entirely normal to be happy and relieved after finding out that not only is there a name for your experience, but also people groups communities just like you ready to talk about it and support each other.

diagnosis opens up entire worlds for people, that's a good thing. and we need to stop shaming anyone who wants/seek it.

[sixohsixoheightfourtwo]

The Ultimate Sterek Supercut - on vimeo

[dream-sans-mogai]

Ive officially exited my " oh God! I don't wanna get called out and harassed by the mogai community! I value this community but I hate all the inner policing! I'm so scared to say anything and accidentally upset people, I'm just gonna be quiet and hide" era and entered my " fuck off, get blocked and glocked. Im here to post flags and identities and that's fuckin it. I litterally don't care anymore, nothing you say is based in reality or matters outside of this horrendous site. No one is thinking about any of this other than you and like 500 other people, if that, so I'm not apologizing for shit." era so watch out for the debris.