#and stuff like listen up pal
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It's so funny to me how season one Lokius shippers went: Oh I love how an all powerful god has a crush on just this guy. This random man.
And then some people were like NO! Mobius is going to be a watcher or a he who remains variant or x,y,z important person.
And season two rolls around: Oh look at them, just a human man and a diety.
And AGAIN people go: NO! Mobius is going to be thor or odin or balder.
But in the end...He did end up being just a guy. A random SINGLE dad selling jetskies.
#hs probbaly says you betcha#and stuff like listen up pal#this is hilarious to me for some reason#lokius#mcu#marvel#loki#mobius#mobius x loki#loki x mobius
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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!
#jay talkin#metalocalypse#im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection#and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao#also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life#aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear#but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once#and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast#but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth#maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream#i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do#theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl#but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional#these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact#the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around#im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy#everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system#they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow#their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!
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I'm just figuring out how important music is in my life! This is coming from a long while trying to cut down on my music use, mostly because I was listening to it so much that it felt more like I couldn't do anything without popping in some earbuds, and partially because of other personal reasons. Some of my routines changed, forcing me to not listen to music while doing certain things, and it ended up becoming that besides working on homework or drawing, I didn't listen to music at all. But I've given myself a break today since I have nothing to do and since, for reasons, I'm feeling just a lil crappy today—and boy, I'm starting to realize again just why I love music!!
I love the diverse music taste I've developed over the years! My family is not only big about music but big about listening to it loud, so the majority of my music taste for most of my life has just been Christian hiphop (Lecrae, KB, Andy Mineo, Trip Lee, and ironically Tonex, whose album where he was struggling hard with his gayness has been my favorite concert movie since I was 5) and gospel music (Kirk Franklin, Tye Tribbett, etc.). And music was one of the few connections between me and my race (I grew up feeling pretty estranged from my blackness as a kid, but the popular songs they played at the YMCA in the 2010s were some of the few things I could use to feel more connected) and between me and my classmates/friends at the Y (I still have fond memories of playing FNAF songs in mat forts and reciting lyrics at pool parties). But I got tired of knowing I could never bond with anyone besides family friends music taste-wise when I was in high school, and so I started listening to secular music on my own time. And that's how I first found Ghost and Pals, a vocaloid artist and one of the first secular music folks I listened to as a kid (can you smell the religious trauma yet? Lol), and that's how I bonded with one of my best friends in early college (ironically, also my first time being publically queer). Now I listen to Kpop, anime songs, songs from warriors MAPs, songs from musicals (Hamilton and In the Heights <3), latin songs, metal songs, and even some secular songs young me would've been too scared to listen to.
And music has always been one of my biggest sources of stimming! I can't dance to save my life, but music will sure get me to flick my fingers and hit my fist against my shoulder furiously. Music was one of the first clues that I like stimming with vibration too (since I love laying against the car door and turning up the music loud enough to feel the world shake around me). And music was one of the first things that made me look into ADHD or autism (specifically, listening to Ghost and Pals songs for a month straight and getting my friend at early college [who also has ADHD] to start looking at me funny when I was discovered doing chores and listening to one of three songs for the fifth time). Music is so cool it'll get me to wax poetically. It was one of the things that kept me together during my roughest times and soothed me during my best. I listen to it while I write, while I cry, while I hang out with my friends and family and while I chill by myself. It's how I relax after a long day, and it's how I feel safe. I feel kinda emotional finally having music hit that spot in me without feeling like I need it to do stuff.
#songs listened to while writing this post:#Tell Your Girlfriend by Lay Bankz#Get Up (Live) by Tye Tribbett#the Oshi no Ko OP song for season 1 (by Yoasobi) - which I ironically found before getting into Oshi no Ko#Waterfalls Coming Out Your Mouth by Glass Animals#Como Fue by 116#Creator (a Minecraft song I picked up from my college friend J)#The Ultimate Soldier (Evangelion)#Reckless Battery Burns by Ghost and Pals#Uncanny x Deathbody remix by Ghost and Pals#Watch Me Work (Trolls 3)#Mount Rageous (Trolls 3)#Better Place (Trolls 3)#Hayloft 2 by Mother Mother#Hayloft 2 Smashup by Mother Mother#Don't You Worry About a Thing (the Sing movie)#Mama by My Chemical Romance (found through a warriors MAP [yes the one you're thinking of])#Gossip by Måneskin#Looking at my playlists getting more and more secular songs feels like healing#but I also love that I can still listen to gospel hiphop or gospel music without feeling ashamed or (completely) embarrassed#(except for Bizzle but that was always more of my dad's music taste anyway)#also yes I have tinnitus how could you guess? Haha but for real it feels like an okay sacrifice to me (more like a battle wound for loving#music so much - but everyone else please use ear protection if you can! Tinnitus doesn't bother me too much but it could you!)#fenn rambles#gonna use this tag for my favorite rants and rambles that I'm most proud of hehe#(also this is an excuse to not leave some non-alterhuman-themed or non-neopronouns-themed stuff untagged >:3)#music#(also I went to a KB concert recently and it was HYPE)#(and I went to Winter Jam in Mobile and it was legitimately one of the best concert experiences in my life - Lecrae >>>>#love his new album hehehe)
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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.
It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.
#red said#i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life#my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me#like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was#like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it#i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles#and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences#and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma#obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma#is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING#told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip#and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain#until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position#and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific#and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with#like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex#out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh#so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea#that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.
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i try my best not to think of it and i havent in years but the fact the only people who were ever supposed to be my friends irl would always dump their love on me and then to leave me & say they dont like me over and over and over again only so they could watch my reaction n make fun of me together maybe did affect me huh
#i am normal i am not affected ii do not see ◡_◡#[distant sounds of me crying & screaming && gasping for air &&& ripping myself to shreds like a bear]#i was always an autistic lil freak who didnt speak so i guess i shouldnt be surprised#but like. i always just wanted them to like me#i always just wanted the chance to like them back and let be allowed. always just wanted someone to be pals with. someone i could trust to#have my back for once vs everything else#i remember such a specific moment right#and we were going on a roadtrip w her and one i already had#and they ended up talking before we left#the worst part is i had to keep seeing them. i had to just keep reliving the humiliation over n over again n it got so deep in me#& the og one had a plan that we would sit together in the back n n we had like. tons of stuff brought we could do n snacks n all this#n then at the very last second literally as i had just sat down she was like . actually. i dont want you back here. i want her she's way be#better#and i remember so specifically she was like. LOL look at ur face..........#and so i had to sit up front alone w nothing to do the entire ride but listen to them make fun of me for it#i feel like it would be better if they had left it at that but then they always came back n treated me so sweetly so i was like . ok i have#a chance#maybe they do like me#like the same girl went on to share cookies she had bought w me and we sat on the lawn for hours hanging out n eating them#and then she did it again#and again#but i was so alone in the world otherwise that i stayed#for years n years#my therapist always talks about how because of how long ive had anxiety means itll take either equally as long or longer to recover#and all i can think ab is how i lived with everything horrible at home#always just wanting to escape#to living through bad things outside of it too#just piling on top#from 6-16#and i kept going back
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dude i miss communications. i was so talking to one of my guys about it bc i was super into ghost and pals during like my middle school yrs, like. 2016-18 area? maybe even 2015 honestly. and i was on quotev mainly as my social media and my friends and i would roleplay the communications characters and i was always henry with the one time exception of playing nancy i think. and my friend jamie was behind one of the biggest if not second biggest communications confessions blogs on here at one point. and goddamn.. we all made like fan ocs to roleplay too... it was so fun. and then the jelf the elf joke, my ex boyfriend and i made like a jelf the elf takeover over on quotev for it and it was pretty sizable. and then the fuckin youtube comment on ghostie-p's album upload on spotify thats like "thanks to you..." was a comment my old friend juice's little brother left on one of their songs because juice always listened to it and annoyed their brother with it! shit is fucking crazy honestly its so weird to think about... i literally dont talk to any of these people except for one of them anymore and hes like a little brother to me. life is genuinely so crazy. the world is a small and crazy place
#wyatt says#like fnaf and cp and ew were like some huge fandoms for me when i was younger#but other than fnaf i think my biggest and most formative fandom experience was goddamn the ghost and pals communications fandom.#Literally insane#like i still love their shit and keep up with it and have all of their old stuff backed up on my phone#since you cant find it anywhere legit anymore#and i remember where i was for most of the uploads past communications#like amygdalas ragdoll#and hyperdontia and fucking broadcast illusion and appetite of a people pleaser#like holy shit lmfao#literally listening to star of the show rn 👆#moving forward i think im repurposing my old communications oc and im gon a make fan cases#and i think i might go back to drawing fanart for the songs#im so sad i dont have my old happy days fanart and my old tumblrs been deleted for a long while
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tell me you only listen to extremely mainstream music without telling me you only listen to extremely mainstream music -- i asked someone to put a specific song on and they typed less than half of the title into spotify and started scrolling through the results
#and then when that obviously didn't work and i told them to add the artist name they looked at me like i was crazy#and then did the exact same thing#DELETED what they'd typed of the song title typed exactly ONE WORD of the artist name and immediately started scrolling#like good god how do you live like this#i was ready to tear my hair out#it is NOT going to come up like that you have to type the FULL NAME and THEN the song title!!!!#we got there in the end but by that time i wanted to give up#lavender thoughts#i try not to be pretentious because it's really just ridiculous and mostly i want the things i listen to to gain more followers#but this was absurd sorry#buddy. pal. (i dislike this person actually) you will only ever find pop hits if this is how you search for stuff#like yes i may do that in my own personal library#where my stuff ALREADY IS and random stuff i don't want ISN'T#but public spotify??
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for a wholly unprepared listener Sangfielle imo. higher production value + straightforwardly standalone so you don't get confused on whether you should already know sth + not as politically dense with factions and npcs. like I guess it's normal for some of us to relisten to catch all that's going on, but it's a lot to put on new listeners. so with SF you can like get a feel for the style of the show, its broad ideas and dynamics, at a relatively low investment. and after that move on to Marielda, PZN, CW, or even AiH depending on like individual preferences.
alright fatt fans settle once and for all
feel free to defend your position as staunchly as possible. a note: this is not where you personally started listening, but what you suggest to get someone hooked in or invested as soon as possible. (hieron and pzn/plsd are split like this because of the considerations of one being a direct sequel of the other, but if you have takes on individual starts sound off)
#typing out loud bc my tag essay crashed tumblr lol#reblog#i started w AiH but didn't realize i loved the show until caught up w SiH and relistened to C/W#and was completely fine missing stuff on 1st listen bc i wasnt as invested#fwiw my fave seasons are C/W and PZN-PAL#my friend i tried to get into fatt bounced off everything except SF#they almost finished both PZN and Marielda they gave it a lot of chances#but SF is the only one they completed and enjoyed#now theyve been in the CW mines for a minute not rly liking it that much lmao
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also if anyone wants to ask questions about my drafts i do really like them a lot even if i can’t finish them right now and would love to talk about them 🥺👉🏻👈🏻
#i’ve got a lot in the same universe as my last one that i think people would like#and one where reader and keigo are pen pals and reader road-trips to new york to meet up with keigo during the world hero’s movie#and one that’s like#okay listen i’m not huge on yandere stuff right#like i get it and sometimes it’s written in a way that i actually really like it#but like i’ve got one swimming around in my head#that’s a yan!reader (cause like? if there’s gonna be a yandere it makes more sense for it to be reader#since like. we’re the ones obsessed with him ya know?)#but like it leans a bit harder into the psychological horror that the genre is capable of instead of the idealization of obsession#and /I/ think it’s really neat and interesting as a horror fan#but i also don’t know how well it’ll be received since there’s not a lot of yan!reader stuff out there in general#and most people are looking for idealization and rose tinted glasses for this kinda stuff#but like!! wouldn’t it be interesting to get the first (or i guess second lol) person view of the person who’s obsessing?#the reasoning for doing the things they do? how they go about stalking and kidnapping?#i dunno. it’ll def be a dddne but like#i dunno man i love phycological and physical and supernatural horror so it’s been glued to me for a bit now lol#harsh contrast to what i usually write too so like it’ll probably sink#and that would suck cause it would be a multi chapter fic lmao
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Collect shitty knives and used lighters. Carry one of each in your pocket, they’ll come in handy. Straight up who’s gonna stop you now? Pick up a balisong and learn some tricks, it’ll be so sick when you can show them to someone you really like later. Same with zippos, play around and see if you can flick it in a unique way, and make it muscle memory. Throw your keys and some useful shit on a carabiner and put it on your belt. Wallet chains too, you can’t deny how sick they are. Fuck, hop on a skateboard, the impact of the ground becomes cathartic when you remember what it’s all for. Listen to lots of music and develop lots of opinions on it, before you know it you’ll have a back catalogue of shit to talk to people about, and then you’ll suddenly be someone who has sick recommendations. You can also just be a bit of a hooligan, climb shit, jump on it, have so much visible, mischievous fun that it’s contagious. Wear really shitty smudgy makeup and OWN it, it’s so hot. Shoulder check your pals and smile at them cheekily, make special handshakes with them, doesn’t matter if you have “your boys”, play with whoever is near, don’t wait til it’s perfect and the time is right
You can just start doing stuff whenever you want
#ftm#forcemasc#autoandrophilia#boy hypno#ftm hypno#forced masculinization#autoandrophile#transmasc#transmasculinity
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Me trying to do and get back into anything while I am haunted by remembering embarrassing shit so I refuse to do or talk or do anything. I feel like someone has a shock collar on me and I can't do anything about it.
#I've broken down at multiple resturants recently and had to leave and wait while my pals and family and stuff ate. I can't meet up with a#friend without saying stupid shit and forgetting and blanking out at important shit#vent#sad shit#I am trying really hard to get back into music specifically#listening to more bands.#and resparking interest in old favorites#I'm just really fucking shy about stuff like that now#I had some not so great experiences
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i like how the same type of person who would hold my history of accidentally believing in dumb shit, not knowing at all what it was trying to dog whistle about, are the same types to deny they’re ever being antisemitic. lol. lmao.
#if you cant take the criticisms you dish out then just stfu about politics pal.#damn at least i can admit my wrongdoings 🥴 something thats apparently hard for a lot of ppl on here#no! you're not pure! no! you dont have everything figured out! yes! you do still have to consider the opinions of minorites you're not!#NONE of yall. NO ONE in my life directly told me i was doing anything wrong by believing in dumb alien stuff UP UNTIL someone felt like#they could use it to turn me into a spectacle and make fun of me (to distract from the fact they abused me so much. but i digress)#and yall get told out right you're being antisemitic and just. choose to not believe it.#it almost feels like yall dont actually care about listening to minorities and want to do everything in your power to Not end up as someone#being laughed at for your shit takes. so you dig in your heels and insist you're right and that anyone criticizing you is wrong and cringe#and perhaps a rightwinger of sorts. yall are literal children. actual babies. such fucking pussies.#have some fucking balls and admit when you're wrong dipshit.#yall have NO IDEA how satisfied it makes me. to be labelled as a cursed unchangable right winger bc of ACCIDENTALLY believing in dumb shit#and then i go and actually do the work. and deconstruct those beliefs and research how i've been wrong.#and yall cant even do that as a bare minimum. at all.#yall have no idea how much that irony makes me laugh.
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NEED to know your thoughts on a yandere bill cipher
⚠️ Listen, pal, I KNOW why you're reading this. You've got a crush on YOURS TRULY! That's right, buddy, the cat's outta the bag! Well, not like the cat was ever really in the bag to begin with. What? Didn't think my all-seeing eye would spy you making goo-goo eyes at artistic depictions of me? AHAHA, aw, hey! Nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not like I can blame you, I mean, have you met me? A winning personality, great sense of humor, beautiful singing voice - I'm a total catch! And between you and me, you have better taste than the rest of your species’ population.
👁 There are probably numerous reason why you like stuff like this: The obsession, the possessive behavior, the VIOLENCE. Sure sounds like romance to ME! But as for you… Is it the abandonment issues? Lack of validation in your life? Feeling misunderstood and ostracized by the world? Loneliness? A desire for an escape into a fictional world? Or are you like me? Is romance just no good without the true passion of twisted devotion and obsession? There's no need to LIE! We're kindred spirits, you and I.
⚠️ I know just how you feel. You've been kicked down, laughed at, and made to feel small. You've gone unappreciated by blind MORONS who wouldn't know greatness if it melted their eyeballs out their ears. Because you are MEANT for greatness. You are meant for something more, and I bet it burns you to know that. That you're better than all of them. That they're nothing without you, and they DESERVE nothing. They deserve to BE nothing. I know just how you feel because I was in your place. Surrounded by flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams. HA, and I sure showed them. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, HUH? ME!!!!!!
👁 The point is, I know you. I've had my eye on you for quite a while, kid. Q U I T E A W H I L E. And might I say, out of all the flesh bags that have clogged my vision over the centuries, YOU'RE clearly the best looking outta all of ‘em, hot stuff. But looks aren't everything, of course! You've got a personality to match. Gotta admit, it's cute how you get so invested in your interests, the little hobbies you pick up, just watching you go about your day is like the universe’s greatest reality TV show starring my favorite person in the multiverse! OH, I could just decaptiate you and nuzzle your fleshy little head in an approximation of a kiss right now!!!
⚠️ So, c'mon, just let me in. Shake my hand! Let's make a deal. No matter how big or small! And it’s not just for the purpose of liberating your dimension, no. I want to really get under your skin. To feel what it's like to be in the body of my favorite person. As close as two beings can get, closer than you can get with unworthy specimens of your own kind, more intimate than any experience in the world. I want to be that close to you. Because you're mine. You're MY HUMAN and NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT. Y'HEAR ME?
👁 So, you might as well accept that you and me are destined, kid. The signs are all there. So, if I were you (and I could be, if you'd just let me), I'd do this the easy way. Because right now, there's two ways this can go down. The easy way: You summon me, and we make a deal. Anything your precious human heart desires - and more! You'll be my precious human pet, my puppet, my toy. Mine to own and have rule beside me! You'll prove everyone who put you down wrong! Anything you want - love, money, fame, worship, vengeance - it'll all be yours, and I'll give it to you. Because I want you to be happy. Because I want what's best for you. Because I’M the only one who actually cares about you. Everything you wanted will be yours. And there'll be an eternal party to celebrate our eternal love… Or, you could do this the hard way. Cause I'm gettin’ outta here one way or another. And when I do, well… I don't think you'd like being locked up in The Love Cage to be TORTURED until you reciprocate my feelings and see the light. I'd say I wouldn't want to, but that'd be lying. So, it's probably not a good idea to give me more of a reason to. So, whaddaya say? You know you deserve the best. Shake my hand and join the winning team. Either way, you're mine.
#yandere headcanons#yandere x reader#yandere gravity falls#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#yandere bill cipher x reader#yandere bill cipher#bill cipher x reader#bill cipher x you#yandere imagines#yandere#x reader#violence cw#violence tw#torture mention#unreality tw#unreality#paranoia tw#paranoia inducing
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hiya :) do you have any crowe x reader relationship canons?? i need more content of him </3
Crowe Headcanons.
context: Crowe hcs!! love this sweet boy
The kid at the back (Tkatb). Crowe x reader. | Anypov. Fluff.
mwehehehehehe I actually just played the updated version recently..smirks evilly and rubs hands together.
- Crowe is such a gentleman so I think he’d ALWAYS open/hold the door open for you, even if you’re an independent person, he’s rushing to get ahead of you to grab the door.
- Acts of service and quality time kinggg. Always wants to be near you at lunch, with his friends, studying, in class. But if you have things to do, he’s obvi not gonna pressure you to be with him allll the time.
- He’s always doing things for you, etc: the door holding yk. But he’ll get food for you if you don’t wanna wait in the lunch line, he’ll carry your bag/books for you, write extra class notes for you if you weren’t there/snoozing away!!
- Mandatory he walks you home everyday after school. Especially with those missing persons cases?? He’s getting you home safe and sound—even if it’s the last thing he does!! (oh wait..)
- Stares at you, even if you’re looking back at him or not. He just loves to admire you because you are goddess/god in his eyes. He can’t take his eyes off you—nor does he want to.
- Back to what I said about quality time, crowe loves being near you. When he is near you, he’s almost always touching you (as long as you’re comfortable). His hands is either interlocked with yours, or his fingers are brushing against your arm, or your arms are interlocked, his arm around your waist..you name it! if he can be pressed up against you, he will do it.
- Mmmmm kisses with this man are so sweet and gentle, but fireworks at the same time. His hands hold you so gently, but the way his lips move against yours is almost desperate. Like you can just tell he’s in love with you by how he kisses you.
- I imagine him as both a big and little spoon. He of course likes to protect you and hold you close to him, but he also just wants to be held.
- OMG playing with his hair..brushing it, braiding it, putting hair clips in it. His hair is soo silky and smooth it’s so easy to run your fingers through it. He loves when you play with his hair and massage his scalp, he’ll fall asleep right on your chest.
- He cannot shut up about you to anyone who would listen. “y/n is so handsome/gorgeous,” “y/n is so smart,” “y/n is amazing,” “y/n y/n y/n.” like okay pal we get it your in love.
- I def feel like he’d leave little love notes in your locker for you or in your textbooks. Just cute little stuff like, “you look good today,” or “I adore you.” Or even reminders about assignments or tests.
- He’s just such a cutie patootie and a good boy, give him loads of kisses. mwah mwah mwah.
1:55 pm 11/07/2024. @i90o3
#*i90o3}#the kid at the back vn#tkatb vn#tkatb spoilers#tkatb crowe#the kid at the back crowe#tkatb x reader#the kid at the back x reader#tkatb sol#the kid at the back sol
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ALSO ON STORENVY HERE
ONCE UPON A DARK TIME IN THE TERROR AGES SOME MORON SCARED THE WORLD TO DEATH (GEE THANKS PAL!!!!!!!) BY WRITING A STORY CALLED "THE DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD." THE STORY WAS SO DARK AND GROSS THAT ANYONE WHO READ IT GOT SCARED IN REAL LIFE ALSO.
NOW MANY CENTURIES LATER THE SAME TWISTEFIED AUTHOR IS PUTTING THE STORY IN REAL PAPER YOU CAN TOUCH ALTHOUGH THE STORY IS STILL FAKE (………OR IS IT…………..) ALONG WITH SEVERAL OF THE ORIGINAL RELATED STORIES AND A BUNCH OF BRAND NEW ONES TOO SCARY TO PUT ON THE INTERNET!! ALSo the new stories aren't entirely in caps lock anymore because that got old if they were LOUDER you would get scared so hard you would quite possibly die to death for all time. This small thin paperback prints and ships in time to ruin thanksgiving or maybe christmas!!!!!!!
BRAND NEW STORIES INCLUDE:
THE MOST MURDERED GIRL IN THE WORLD: One day a girl did not listen to her mother, and got murdered by all the murderers in the world at once. The power of almost 100 murders at once transformed her forever…but into what!? The clue is in the title, but you'll never guess. heh heh heh.
THE TRUEST CRIME: one day there was a crime so terrible you will not be able to read what the bad guy did without throwing up your guts at how evil it was. Let's just say it sends 100 MILLION BABIES to prison…and that's only the beginning………
THE BODYLESS DOG: what happens when a dog gets its body cut off and doesn't die!? Well he isn't happy about it I can tell you that much.
VAMPIRE HANDS: this story is about YOU and the time your hands turned into the hands of a vampire. Maybe you think having to keep your hands in tiny coffins all day long doesn't sound so bad but that is only one of the more than one things you have to do when you have vampire hands!!!!!!
THE INVISIBLEST KNIFE: in this story you accidentally kill everyone and everything you care about and even ruin a hot dog completely. Don't worry! There's no such thing as the invisiblest knife! I am looking around right now and I don't see it anywhere. Do you??
WHEN ALL THE STEEL TURNED INTO WORMS (and it was not my fault!!!) this is one of the LONGEST stories (more than two pages!) in the book and is about when one day all the steel in the world became worms that were scared of humans so if you even looked at a car it would fall apart from all the worms running away into the dirt. Again these are descriptions and not the whole stories so this is just one of the things that happens!
THE DAY IT RAINED THE HEADS FROM SPACE: what happens when a really sharp human space probe meets a planet where everyone is the same exact height and always stands in a line on a perfectly flat plane?!?!?!?!?!!?!!?? Well they aren't happy about it I can tell you that much.
THE DOG THAT WAS TOO LONG: you like dogs, do you??? Well sometimes wishes come true but sometimes…sometimes wishes suck and were stupid to make actually. Fool.
THE WEIRD GUY: don't worry, there's no such thing as a weird guy, and if there was, it would not turn out to have been you all along! Pretend you didn't read this massive spoiler.
THE GHOST'S GHOSTS: everyone knows a ghost is twice as scary as a regular person, but what about a ghost's ghost? Obviously that would be twice as scary as a regular ghost. A twisted tale of how the human race is exterminated several hundred times in a row.
DARKNESS MOM: the worst most awful most disgusting scariest monster in the WORLD!! You will TERRIFIED to read about this mom who is TOO TALL and has a GROSS TOO LONG TONGUE and SHARP MONSTER HANDS and if she GETS YOU she will make you be IN TROUBLE all the time for like NO reason!!! NOOOO!!!!!!
THE THINGS THAT DID THE WRONG THINGS: you better not read this secret government list of things that do the wrong stuff!! The secret guys will catch you and you'll have to go to secret jail so you don't go telling everyone about anomanolies such as THE WORST TURTLE (three words, FOOL: spikes on it) or THE CLOCK THAT TELLS TIM (tim is alright though this is not his fault)
THE HALF MURDERER: what if a normal person and a murderer had a baby? It's more likely than you think! Or shall we say…half more likely…mwa ha ha ha
THE REVENGE OF THE DAY OF ALL THE BLOOD: THE LONG FEARED SEQUEL (WARNING: this one is in capitol letters again, it is PULLING NO PUNCHES!)
…………AND MAYBE SOME MORE IF I FEEL LIKE IT! *actually some more are already in it I just might add a couple more than that even
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The Do-Over
Summary: Everyone deserves a second chance, including jerks like Bounty Hunter, Ari Levinson. Takes place directly after the events in Hello, Duchess.
Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Bucky Barnes, A Deep Love of Clark Bars, Light Groveling, Bickering, Discussions of Grief, Threats of Violence, Gentle Manhandling, Brief References to Negative Body Image, Cursing, Minors DNI
A/N: Special thanks to my creative consultant, @curls-and-eyeliner. Part my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!
An annoyed Ari takes a pull from his cigarette as he listens to his friend and fellow combat vet give him shit all the way from his office back in New Mexico. As soon as this was over, he was going to ditch this empty parking lot to find himself an ice cold beer and a goddamned steak.
He was officially ready to put this day behind him. But first he needed a decent dinner.
“So let me see if I’ve got this right.” His friend begins, now that he’d finally stopped cursing up a blue streak. “Do you really mean to tell me that you took our best lead, which just so happened to be the perp’s girlfriend, and fucked it all to hell?”
Okay, but just because that’s what happened doesn't necessarily mean that it was actually his fault. He’d just been a little off his game.
“Hey Buck, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re beginning to sound as dramatic as Rogers.”
“Steve would never fuck-up something this big for us.” He could practically hear the man flipping him off.
“I’m telling you this girl would’ve cut off Golden Boy’s balls and fed them to him for breakfast, okay?” He takes another puff, flicking some of the excess ash out his driver-side window. “Trust me.”
“Hold on.” An exasperated Bucky sighs into the receiver before placing the phone on his desk to speak to whoever had just walked into his office. He hoped whoever it was had better news than he did, otherwise he feared his old war buddy might have an aneurysm.
Sometimes he got the impression that Sergeant James “Bucky” Barnes was wound a little too tight.
The silence drags on as Ari contemplates getting out of his car to stretch his legs. It’s another several minutes before Bucky is back on the line, and this time he sounds positively exhausted.
“We can’t afford to lose this one, man. Westbrook might be a piece of shit, but he’s an expensive piece of shit. So while I don’t care how you feel about the girl, you need to make things right. She could have some valuable intel.”
“Yeah, I know.” His mood darkens as he flicks the cigarette onto the pavement. As he watches it hit the ground, he finds himself wondering if it was finally time to quit the cancer sticks altogether. It’s not like he hadn’t thought about it before.
“Besides, what do you care if she was Westbrook’s fuck buddy?” Ari’s treated to the sound of his friend unwrapping something that sounded suspiciously like a candy bar. There was only one person who was known to keep that stuff at the office.
Which meant that shit had better not come from his personal stash, otherwise Bucky Barnes was a fucking dead man.
“I don’t.” Ari growls, sucking on his teeth. “And that had better not be a Clark Bar you’re eatin'.”
“Hate to break it to ya, pal. But based on what you told me earlier, it kinda sounds like you might.” There’s an unmistakable sound of a grin in his voice, which irks the bounty hunter to no end.
“And I think it’s finally time you got your hearing checked, old man.” He growls back, although his words lack any real fire.
“As for your precious Clark Bars,” he continues. “See, normally I’d pass on ‘em. But Pixie’s been on a health kick lately and she threw out all the junk food. So, I’m desperate.” Bucky gives an exaggerated groan. “Plus, she has no idea about your stash.”
“Jesus.” Ari grumbles, firing up his engine with the intent to head back to the house he was currently renting. “I really wish you two would just suck face already and get it over with.”
“Mind your fucking business, Levinson.”
“Then keep your filthy hands off my fuckin’ Clark Bars, Barnes.” There’s a heavy sigh on the other line, prompting Ari to roll his eyes. All he wanted was for this conversation to fucking end.
“Look.” Bucky grunts. “You bring down this Westbrook fucker and I’ll buy you a goddamned case of those stupid bars. Alright?”
“You got yourself a deal.” Turning on his truck, Ari slowly heads for the exit as his stomach begins to rumble. Maybe he’d track down some shrimp to go with that steak.
“And fix whatever it is you fucked up with that bookstore broad while you’re at it.”
“I’ll do my best.” He grimaces as his mind treats him to images of you threatening him with your taser. “But if that little spitfire puts me in the hospital you’re footin’ the bill.” And with that, Ari hangs up the phone.
As of now, he was officially done for the night.
A Few Days Later…
You’re sitting on the floor of your stockroom when you hear the tinkling of bells signaling the arrival of a customer. Groaning as you rise to your feet, you wipe your palms on the fabric of your pants and head to the front of the store.
Business had been unusually slow today, so hopefully this patron - whoever they were - would be in the mood to buy something. As you were driving in this morning, you’d briefly considered holding another sale. Maybe it was time for another book fair. That seemed to be pretty popular the last time you’d done it.
You’re in the middle of making a mental note to reach out to the local librarian when your eyes land on the absolute last person you wanted to see standing in your lobby: Ari Levinson.
Not this guy again.
“Yeah, it’s me.” He says, offering up an unapologetic shrug as he takes in the sight of you in your form-fitting yoga pants.
Apparently you’d spoken out loud. Perhaps if you kept doing it, the man would eventually get offended enough to leave. Wishful thinking at its finest.
When the intruder realizes you don’t plan on speaking again, he decides to take advantage of the silence by doing something completely unexpected.
“I just dropped by to, uh…” He takes a deep breath, rocking back on his heels. “Apologize for how our last meeting went. While it wasn’t my intention to insult you, I know that I did.” One big hand comes up to massage the back of his neck. “Just wanted to offer that, for whatever it’s worth.”
“Oh. Wow.” You reply dumbly, crossing your arms over your chest. For whatever reason, you got the distinct impression that he didn’t make apologies often.
“You’re right, sweetheart. I don’t.” His lips turn up in an awkward grin as he takes a step toward you. “But a real man knows how to own up to his shit, which is exactly what I’m doin right now.”
“Okay.”
Mouth suddenly dry, you go to take a step back, only to find that your legs no longer work. Next thing you know, Ari is in your space, his boot clad feet are now mere centimeters from your well-loved sneakers as he towers over you.
He holds out his hand as a gesture of goodwill, silently imploring you to take it. Your eyes lock with his as yours moves on its own accord – almost as if you’d been entranced.
Your hand feels so small and delicate in his grasp. And for a second, you wonder what it might be like to lace your fingers together. How it would feel to hold onto him so intimately for just a few seconds longer. You sneak a glance up at Ari, only to watch as his pupils dilate, his nostrils flaring just slightly. It’s enough to let you know that you’re not the only one affected.
“You think we might be able to try this again?” His deep baritone washes over you like a balm. “You have my word I’ll do a much better job of, uh, keeping myself in check.”
Yanking your hand away, all you can do is nod. Part of you almost wished the man would go back to acting like an asshole. At least then you would know how to handle him. This so-called charming and apologetic Ari was a different beast entirely.
“I–” You swallow thickly. “Yes, that’s fine.”
“Thank you for your kindness.” His easy smile has the nerve to do funny things to the butterflies in your belly. “And while I would hate to do anything that might spoil this good will, I would like to ask you a couple of questions right now.”
Instantly suspicious, you open your mouth to deliver a curt “no”. However, having already anticipated this, Ari is quick to amend his request by promising not to be too invasive. He also insists that he’ll follow your lead.
“If at any moment you want to stop, we’ll stop. You have my word on that too, darlin’.” He surveys the room, absentmindedly scratching at his jaw. “You good with me ensuring we have a little privacy?” Again you nod, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.
Because at this point, it just didn’t make sense to kick the man out. Especially not when he seemed to be taking great pains to be respectful. You could only hope that he’d appreciate your cooperation enough to go bother someone else when you were through.
Maybe it might be worth leading him back towards someone who’d actually appreciate his attention. Someone like your would-be frenemy, Charline Marshall.
Seemingly encouraged by your response, the invasive bounty hunter hustles towards the door so that he could flip your sign from open to closed. And, unbeknownst to him, it also gives you a chance to begrudgingly appreciate just how good his ass looks in his Levi’s.
Alright. So maybe you’d hold off on feeding Ari Levinson to Charline and her disciples – at least for right now.
“You know.” You cough, needing to give yourself a moment to recalibrate before you said or did something dumb. “I actually just remembered that I needed to fix a couple of things around the shop during my lunch break.”
An unruffled Ari simply smiles and winks back at you. “Thought you said you believed in your ability to multitask?”
You resist the urge to stick your tongue out at the smug bastard. Because he was right. You absolutely had said that. And then he’d had the gall to fucking listen.
“Fine.” Shooting him a glare, you head over to the counter and toe-off your shoes.
“Appreciate it, darlin’.”
Just like last time, out comes his pen and tiny notebook. He flips it open to a new page before giving you his full attention. Meanwhile, you’re now hellbent on acting like he doesn’t exist.
“How long have you owned your shop, Baubles & Quills?”
If you were to look in his eyes at that moment, you would’ve seen them shining with genuine inquisitiveness. Almost as if he actually wanted to get to know you.
“A few years.” You reply, bracing your hands on the flat surface of the desk. “I spent a large part of my childhood here, buried amongst books. My uncle left it to me when he passed. But I’m sure you already knew that.”
Taking a deep breath, you send up a silent prayer to the Lord asking him not to let you fall before hefting yourself onto the counter with all the grace you can muster.
“Maybe.” Ari concedes while jotting something down on his notepad. “But it’s different coming from – just what the hell are you doin’ woman?!”
“Checking out this light fixture.” You huff as you work to steady yourself.
“Any reason you couldn’t do that from the ground?” The bounty hunter surprises you by sounding more than a little stressed.
Confused by his response, you manage to spare a quick glance in his direction. Although your unlikely companion looks less than happy, you fail to fully grasp the nature of the problem.
“Because I couldn’t quite tell if this whole panel was out, or just the one little section.”
“Alright, well…” He drags an agitated hand through his already messy brown locks. “Now that you’ve seen it, how about you come on down from there?”
“Oh my goodness, Levinson.” An exasperated chuckle bubbles its way from your throat. “It’s just the counter. Save the freakout for when you find me on the flippin’ roof or something.”
“You’re standin’ on the damned thing wearin’ nothing but socks. It’s like you’re askin’ to fall.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.”
“How the hell is my expressin’ concern about your safety bein’ dramatic?”
“Next question, buddy.” You have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing at the affronted look on the bounty hunter’s gorgeous face.
Ari forces himself to take a breath before attempting to return back to the task at hand. “I have it here that your Uncle is the late Lenny Barstowe. He was, by all accounts, an upstanding pillar of this community.”
“He was.” You agree, bending down to grab the duster resting near your feet.
“You say he was your uncle, and yet you two don’t share the same last name.” He frowns when he notices your slight wobble.
And for the tenth time in almost as many minutes he finds himself wondering why the fuck you didn’t hire someone to take care of shit like this for you? Hell, give him a ladder and a free afternoon and he’d handle things himself.
“Wow. Nothing gets past you.” You sniff, trying to fight back a sneeze as dust goes flying. “They teach you those observation skills in private detective school?”
“Sure did.” Ari snorts without missing a beat, tucking the pen behind his ear. “First thing on the syllabus, in fact.”
“Thought so.”
“So glad we cleared that up.”
You can’t stop the small thrill that courses through you when you notice the newfound tick in his jaw. If you weren’t careful, you could find yourself growing addicted to that little zing in your blood. To that tiny spike in your pulse you felt every time you two sparred.
“But if we could go back to your uncle, I’m sure losing him had to be hard – what with him being your only family.” He takes a turn fanning himself with his notebook. ”Was your friend, Martin, there for you during that difficult time?”
That particular question actually makes you pause and reflect. You’d been so lost in grief back then, which is part of the reason it had taken you so long to claw your way out of that dark hole. And, if memory served, you’d done that majority of that clawing on your own.
“I’m sure he was around, Mr. Levinson.” Your answer sounds cagey, even to your own ears. “But I pretty much wore my grief like a sweater back then. And if I’m being honest, those first few months after losing him were nothing but a miserable haze.”
“I know the feeling.” He murmurs as he scribbles on the page.
“Look.” You blow out a breath as you attempt to gauge the distance between the desk and the ground. As of this moment, you officially regretted not grabbing your step stool. “I don’t know where Martin is or who he’s running from. All I know is that he was scared, but he refused to tell me anything more, okay?”
“Did he ask you for money?”
“Yes.”
He’d also called you too. And while you choose to keep that little detail to yourself, you figure there was no harm in telling him about the money. At the time you’d had no idea you were potentially aiding and abetting a criminal. Or maybe you just hadn’t wanted to believe it.
“And did you give it to him?” The intense look in his beautiful blue eyes has you suddenly feeling foolish.
“Yes.”
It’s that one word, spoken barely above a whisper, that leaves Ari shaking his head. His gaze drops to the ground as he works to rein-in his temper. You have no idea what a struggle it is for him to do so – because he’s not upset with you.
If anything, you’d just given him one more reason to run that slippery motherfucker into the goddamned ground.
“How much did he get you for?” Even though Ari has calmed himself considerably, his tone still comes off harsher than he intends.
“Almost $500.” You tell him, your face hot with embarrassment. “I suppose I should’ve asked more questions. You probably think I’m an idiot for –”
“It’s okay, darlin’.” He swiftly interjects, not wanting you to get upset. “You’re doin’ so great bein’ honest with me right now.” Unsure of what else to do, he tosses his notebook aside in favor of reaching for your hand. “I know this shit ain’t easy.”
“I think I’m done for now.” You tell him, doing your best to avoid looking at your now joined hands. God, he really needed to stop doing that. “Please.”
“Okay.” He readily agrees as his thumb strokes along the ridge of your knuckles. “Then we’re done.” You watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows. “Are you gonna let me help you down off the counter before you kick me out?”
“It’s okay. Don’t want you to hurt yourself.” You mumble as you busy yourself with trying to figure out the easiest way to sit and scootch your way out of your current situation.
The last thing you needed was this man accidentally throwing out his back over some misplaced chivalry.
To his credit, Ari decides to ignore your feeble protests. “C’mon and let me help you.” He repeats, gesturing for you to step towards the edge of the counter so that he can grab you by the waist. “And then I’ll be on my way.”
“Really, I’m fine.” You attempt to swat at his hands, which doesn’t actually work.
“C’mon, darlin’.” He assures you gently. “Just trust me.” The next thing you know, you’re suddenly being lifted into the air. “I got you.”
“Ack – I’m too heavy!” You squeal, immediately caught off guard by the way your legs briefly dangle in the air. Try as you might, you honestly could not remember the last time a man had picked you up.
Your heart speeds up as he effortlessly sets you down on your feet, allowing your body to slide down the solid wall of his chest. Instinctively, your hands fly to his biceps in an effort to steady yourself.
“Thank you.” You’re suddenly having a hard time breathing around this man. “But you really shouldn’t have done that. You could’ve hurt –”
“Sweetheart, you ain’t nothin’ but a feather.” Ari rumbles, his hands still resting firmly on your hips.
“Somehow I doubt that.” You whisper, knowing that you should demand that he let you go. Except your body is too busy buzzing to actually cooperate.
“Happy to prove you wrong any time.” While you suspect that he hadn’t really meant to say that, his smile is full of promise. “But right now, I’m afraid I’ve gotta head out.” Although it still takes another second for him to release you.
Not that you’re complaining any. Which deep down you know could spell trouble for you.
Before he leaves, however, Ari reaches into the front pocket of his jeans to hand you what looks a lot like a business card. “What’s this?” You mentally smack yourself in the forehead the moment the question leaves your mouth.
“My card.” He responds as he now heads toward the door. “That’s my cell, just in case you need it.”
“Oh.”
“Call any time, day or night.” Ari’s gruff, no-nonsense tone goes straight to your core. “You remember somethin’ about Martin? Call me. You lookin’ for someone to stand guard while you lock up at night? Call me. You need to hear a friendly voice in the dark? Fucking call me.”
His offer takes you by surprise. So much so, that you’re temporarily rendered speechless as you clutch the stiff piece of paper in your palm. While you weren’t sure if you’d ever take him up on his offer, you could certainly appreciate his generosity.
“Thank you.” You rasp, your teeth going to nibble at your bottom lip.
“Any time, Duchess.” His head dips politely as he exits through the front door. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
And just like that he was gone, which meant you could finally breathe normally again. Strange butterflies once again fill your belly as you take your time examining the card your bounty hunter had left behind. While you weren’t sure if you’d ever call him, you decide it’s worth tucking into a zippered pocket in your purse before getting on with the rest of your day.
Little did you know that you would come to need that tiny piece of paper sooner rather than later…
END
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