#and still be dry. favorite boots ive ever owned
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My fucking ankle hurts and idk what i did but i guess im just going to wear my boots until it stops.
#[insert cool original post tag]#really good boots btw. had em for over a year and the worst damage is that theyre a bit scuffed up. i should replace the laces tho#theyre very waterproof. i wore them as snowboots last winter and i never had any issues. can walk through like 4-5 inches of water#and still be dry. favorite boots ive ever owned#they dont allow much ankle mobility bc theyre for hiking rough terrain n such. thats why theyre good for this.#your ankle cant hurt when u move it if u dont move it!
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🦉Positivity owl reporting for duty! This was sent by a friend who wants you to smile as much as your posts make them smile. Please list five things that make you unique, four things you are super passionate about and why, OR three of your favorite memories. Feel free to send the owl to those who you feel deserve to smile🦉
Fuck it!! Ummm:
1. I’m 5’10” and enjoy wearing platform boots, idc. I will never blend in no matter how hard I have tried.
2. I am surrounded by cornfields, dairy’s, cotton, and dirt. My small “city” hosts an annual cotton parade every year. It’s the biggest event of the season, right behind the Christmas Parade. Numerous farming tractors and huge agricultural devices participate in the parades, as well as the garbage truck.
3. I’m an insomniac and I have an awful sleeping schedule, as well as an obsession with coffee and energy drinks. I used to be afraid of falling asleep because I would have intense nightmares of entities and being possessed. I’ve had sleep paralysis in which my history of self harm resurfaced in. It was very painful.
4. I used to read a lot when I was younger; I could finish a book within a day if uninterrupted. If I wasn’t disassociating or daydreaming, I was reading or listening to music. I used everything from art to smut to escape my tumultuous existence. These days, I’m more self-aware and I’m actually trying to live my life. However, I have a pile of books I’ve been meaning to read…
5. I am the only one in my family to dress “alternatively” and I stick out like a sore thumb. Ive always dressed the way I wanted and was even nominated for best dressed in high school. I lost that to someone who was actually very stylish.
As for my Passions:
1. I am extremely passionate about creating art. Art has saved my life in so many ways and I know many people can identify with that. I have sacrificed many things for my art and it’s the only thing I have in my miserable pathetic existence that gives me purpose. The number one person I create art for is myself. I owe this to my inner child.
2. I love connecting with people through my art. The media I consumed when I was younger helped distract me from all of the horrors of my reality. It inspired me to make my own stories. If the things that I make is able to replicate that very same feeling in other people, then I would have come full circle.
3. I am a hopeless romantic, I know that sound corny as fuuuqqqqq but it’s true. There are too many relationships that I’ve witnessed in my short life that fill me with dread and hopelessness. If I had to chose between what was offered and being alone forever, I’d die touch-starved but content. But if I had the opportunity to love someone and to be loved, unconditionally, passionately, and deeply, I’d crawl on my hands and knees for you. I’d wash your feet with my hair. I’d write you poetry and paint you, give you flowers whenever I could, I’d eat everything you are, all the fat and cartilage and toughness. You are water to my dry mouth. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN JESUS.
4. I am passionate about the unconventional, the contradictions, the unpalatable, the uncomfortable. Things that people usually have a hard time existing in. I don’t want to sound like some pretentious, edgelord jackass, but my art and my interests surround thoughts of self harm, deprivation, discipline and pain. Self harm can exist as depriving yourself of food, of cleanliness, of love, of touch, etc. I am just so full of pain!!! I don’t know how Jesus doesnt hate his father!!!
Might as well discuss the memories:
1. One of my favorite memories are of my friends in the eighth grade. I had the most fun I had ever had with those two. One of them had passed over 5 years ago and the other is a mother to 3 children. I can still hear their laughs. Gone like tears in the rain.
2. I guess it’s more like a feeling then a memory, but I miss the excitement I used to get as a kid. I would wake up to my mom cleaning and the front door open. It would be fall then, and the fresh cool air would deep in as I logged into my laptop to watch ledamonsterbunny. I would cut and dye my hair with my mom and watch YouTube videos in class with my friends. I haven’t had a crush since middle school. I do not miss the hormones though, nasty stuff. I was very unwell.
3. I miss being able to go shopping with my Grandma. I miss hanging out with her. I look at all of the videos I took of her and still feel like she was never real. I do dream of her from time to time! AND! I’ve just recently found a ring of hers that I thought I lost forever!!! She’s a part of my favorite memories, along with my Grampa making snow cones for me and my siblings and cousins.
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dog tags and photographs - s.r. x fem!reader
Request from @moonstuffsteve : OK OK BUT CAN I REQUEST A STEVE FIC WHERE READER IS LIKE WASHING HIS UNIFORM AND FINDS A PICTURE OF HER IN THE SUIT AND GETS ALL HAPPY AND LIKE STEALS HIS DOGTAGS AND STEVE THINKS ITS THE CUTEST THING EVER THANK YOU
a/n: this was adorable and just so domestic so thank you Al! I’ve fallen into a nice little writing routine recently and ive been cranking these requests out like they’re NOTHING. as always, thanks for supporting my writing and fics i put out- i really want this blog to turn into something great, but i need to work on it a little bit more.
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author: abby<3
words: 1385
cw: mention of stress, rough mission, domesticity, worry
Y/N smiled to herself as she listened to her boyfriend’s snores echoing through the apartment, something he swore he didn’t do. She had half a mind to record it, but the win wasn’t worth the fight.
She picked his uniform off the ground of the bedroom, shaking off whatever dust she could. His undershirt was thrown across the room next to the bed. She gathered it in her arms before looking towards his sleeping face. His hair had stuck to his forehead, sweat and dirt acting as an adhesive. Her nails picked at it, brushing it away from his face, before laying a sweet kiss to his forehead where his brows were drawn up with whatever dream he was having.
It wasn’t uncommon for her to wash Steve’s uniform. While he was definitely a gentleman, who would never make her do his laundry, Y/N took pride in doing this for him whenever he had a rough mission. He could sleep off the stress while you made sure he woke up to a stress and responsibility-free environment.
She huffed, walking towards the washer, making a mental reminder to set his combat boots out to dry the mud he tried to avoid tracking in. How many pockets does a combat suit need? You don’t see Nat with this many pockets. She knew how Steve was, how he had his own knives, and tools scattered between the fabric of his uniform. Opening every pocket was more of a chore than actually doing the washing, but it was part of the process.
Her hands brushed over soft paper, different from the usual metals that she found from extra bullets to blades. No, this was soft, pliable to her working fingers. She tugged the gently folded piece from his chest pocket. Curiosity grabbed a hold of her, urging her to unfold it and inspect it carefully. It was a photo of the two of them, when they had gone out for her birthday in the last month. He had pulled them to the park, stopping by her favorite store, and then taking a stroll. Y/N had convinced him to take pictures with the self timer on her polaroid, leading to him keeping the photo.
She hadn’t expected him to hold to it like this, folded neatly into the pocket of what he wore whenever he was away from her. She smiled, remembering how he had wrapped his arms around her that day, resting his chin at the juncture of her neck. Happy looked good on him.
She set the photo down in the basket she used to keep his things together, reminding herself to ask about it later. The washer rumbled slightly as the heavy fabric sloshed in the water.
“Sweetheart?” He called through the apartment, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“Hi sleepyhead,” she wrapped her arms around his middle. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. Where’s my-”
“In the wash, don’t worry about it.”
“Wait,” his back stiffened in panic. “Is it already running?”
“Baby, I said don’t worry I got everything out of the pockets.”
He paused again, cheeks going a little bit redder. “Everything?”
Y/N only smiled knowingly, reaching up to press a smile to his cheek. “Everything. Now what do you want for dinner?”
He smiled sheepishly, following her into the kitchen.
----
A couple of weeks had gone by and all Y/N felt was guilt. While she knew that she was caring enough in her relationship with Steve, she had sort of underestimated her importance to him. Important enough to carry a physical photograph in his uniform.
And while he obviously had held onto something of her while he was away, Y/N had yet to find something to bring her own self any kind of comfort. Most days spent alone while Steve was on a mission were spent trying to stay busy, to keep her mind off worrying. The missions where he couldn’t communicate were the worst. The only thing to keep her feet on the ground was their apartment. The way his scent lingers on the sheets, the small stack of drawing journals in the corner of their room, the record player sitting in the living room. While they were all things uniquely him, they weren’t close enough, needing to hold more meaning.
He was gone now, hundreds of miles away, doing what he did best - be a hero. Y/N’s knee bounced as she sat back on the couch, waiting for her boyfriend to return. He had sent a message hours ago, saying he was on his way back, saying not to wait up. She knew she would stay away as long as she could though, just to see him when he returned.
She tried to relax, wearing one of his large t-shirts and listening to a soft record as she waited. Time, however, was not kind and only continued to move slowly. With a sigh, she decided to do some chores, any chores that were left, to pass the time. That is when she saw them.
While Steve had amazing leadership skills, he was, in reality, quite forgetful when he wasn’t focused on doing his patriotic deeds. That’s why when Y/N moved to the bathroom to change out the towels and saw Steve’s dog tags on the counter, she paused. Thin metal was smooth through fingers, save for the imprints of his name and service numbers that her thumb ran over gently.
It was bittersweet, honestly - holding the thing that began Steve’s entire career, and not having him there to bring any kind of comfort. She pushed away whatever sadness remained, clutching the chain to her chest as she walked back to the living room. Without thinking too much about it, she slipped the necklace over her head, letting the tags hang just under her sternum.
Suddenly, she had something. Something with much more meaning than a scent, something tangible, something close enough. Her worried adrenaline left her body, and as she settled into the couch, she was able to fall asleep with ease for the first time since he had left.
--
Steve was almost worried when he entered the quiet apartment. His return was usually met with some kind of fanfare - a tight hug around his neck, a body scan for any injuries, an interrogation of his mental well-being. Tonight though, the apartment remained quiet as he shuffled through the threshold of the front door. His eyes swept over what he could see, finding nothing too out of place. Of course she cleaned. His ears, those genetically modified ears, however, picking up the slight snore, something she swore she didn’t do, of her sleeping form.
His feet carried him to the living room where she laid against the cushions, wrapped in his shirt, clutching his military tags in her hand. His shoulders dropped as he took in the sight, a new kind of relief hitting his body.
He crouched down, a dirty hand gently brushing the hair away from her forehead. “Y/N?”
“Mmm?” she mumbled, brows scrunching at the vibration of his voice. “Steve? You’re home.”
“Yeah, baby,” he smiled. “Want me to carry you to bed?”
Y/N rubbed her eyes as she nodded, tags falling from her fingers. He swept her up in his arms, thanking a god he had strength in his body. Her head rested against his chest, hand trailing over his heart. His mouth pressed a kiss to her forehead, adoring the sight before him.
“You wearing my tags?” he asked softly, not wanting to disturb whatever peace she still held onto.
“‘M sorry. Was missing you.”
“Shh, baby, don’t apologize.” He set her body down in the bed, pulling the sheets up over body. “You look better in them than I do.”
He left her to take a shower, but not before she called out for him, grabby hands sent in his direction. “Steve?”
“I’m coming right back, I just gotta wash off. I’m covered in sweat.”
“Don’t care. C’mere.”
He chuckled, slipping out of his uniform and saddling up next to her under the sheets. He kissed her head again, whispering words of love and comfort as she fell back into her slumber.
He had never been happier to fall asleep in his life.
forever tags: @avengers-do-it-better @maisondumepris @hamiltonwrite12
steve and bucky tags: @fab-notfat @mcueveryday @nanners-the-great @mcubuckyandsteve @captainfile @moonstuffsteve
steve only tags: @patzammit
#steve rogers x reader#captain america x reader#steve rogers x fem!reader#captain america x fem!reader#nomad steve?#i just like to look at him#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers fic#steve rogers request#captain america fluff#captain america fic#captain america request#marvel#captain america#steve rogers#chris evans
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Tagged by: @rhubarbdreams @cactusdragon517 @morallygreywaren and @ceraunos (I’m so sorry this took so long! Thank you for thinking of me, it is so flattering <3)
Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!
This was SO FUN. It was so nice to go through my old stories... I’m really proud of my writing. That’s something I never thought I’d say, and it’s something I’ve decided I’m going to do unabashedly from now on. <3 Happy almost April, everyone!
Gaining Heart (Spartacus)
The days following the defeat of Glaber had been a flurry of activity.
Agron found himself not only leading on field of battle, but leading organization and defensive strategy. Those fucking Romans had moved into the temple as if it was their own home, claiming all that they saw— but they had also brought much of their own. Food, wine, supplies— it was a gift from the fucking gods, and needed proper inventory.
Agron knew not how to do that. Nasir and Naevia were invaluable, cleaning each chamber of any evidence of battle, cataloguing lists and categorizing everything from barrels of grain to rolls of bandages.
Tangles and Roots (The Old Guard)
He was covering Andy.
The hangar was dark, shadowed by the last of the night while dawn crept up over the skyline outside. The plane was set to land any minute now, and Nicky’s eyes flicked from corner to corner, finger on the trigger of his gun and his jaw grinding hard. He could swear he saw shapes moving along the roof— the banks of high windows above them left eerie patches of weak blue light, flickering with little flashes of darkness.
It was probably just birds. He was out of practice— they had done nothing but sit around in the six months since Merrick, trying to heal the deep wounds left in their minds… and bodies, in Andy’s case.
Nicky swallowed, stepping that much closer to his friend’s side as they took their places in the shadows.
Still Awake? (The Old Guard)
He pretended to sleep. His eyes were closed, and his muscles were stiff, tying themselves into knots where he laid in his cot between Andy’s empty bedroll and Joe and Nicky’s snuggled up bodies. Booker refused to be comfortable— he refused to rest. The day had been rough, and the fighting had left a bone deep ache inside him, even while the physical wounds had healed.
All the Time in the World (The Old Guard)
The first time Nicolo and Yusuf bathed together, it was by the river— he wasn’t sure which river. It had probably changed names and countries a hundred times by now. All he remembered was that, by the time they heard the steady rush of water and cleared the brush and trees to the bank, he was half mad with annoyance.
If that man made one more grumbled complaint— one more clearly telegraphed grimace— about the supposed smell of him, Nicoló might have to break their truce and run the bastard through.
Kissed by an Angel (The Old Guard)
Nicky felt his lips flicker into a private smile, setting the pot on the stove to simmer and turning to look out the window into the garden. Joe’s garden.
He was humming to himself— Nicky couldn’t quite hear it, but he could tell by the set of the other man’s jaw under his beard and the purse of his lips as he concentrated. The weeds wouldn’t rip themselves, the overgrown shrubs wouldn’t miraculously be already pruned and waiting for them.
They were finally back in Valletta. Finally home.
Patron Saint of Satisfaction (The Old Guard)
It had been a long, long few weeks.
Joe’s shoulders were tense and knotted, and his whole body still ached from the train ride he and Nicky had taken all that day. There was a stifling, choked sensation in his gut that would rise in waves, up his throat to the tip of his tongue until he was ready to scream. The whole way to their safehouse, he brushed shoulders with his lover— practically leaning on him— and let himself take refuge in the feeling of Nicky’s warm hand entwining their fingers.
Waking Dreams (The Old Guard)
At first, they could’ve been anywhere for all Joe knew.
There was nothing in the world but Nicky— his scent, his body, his quiet sleeping breaths. Joe felt himself hover on the edge of sleep and wakefulness, the familiar thrum of pleasure making up the backdrop of his thoughts.
He nuzzled into his Nico’s neck, pressing sloppy, half asleep kisses to the back of his neck.
Here There Be Monsters (The Old Guard)
The morning had been blustery and hot. The scent of ozone made the sea air thick as it blew through his hair where they all stood, crowded around the lower deck. They all squinted against the bright sunshine, but Joe knew better than to trust the blue sky.
”If I’m getting in, I’ve gotta do it soon—“ he spoke up, cutting into some conversation that he hadn’t been listening to, “There’s a storm coming in from the East.”
Nile— still so young, so far from the American Midwest, and in her first field season— raised an eyebrow at him from behind her sunglasses.
He smiled at her bemused look, shooting his gaze over to Andy. Andy smirked, huffing a laugh. “If anybody knows, Joe knows.”
In Loving Memory (The Old Guard)
The wind whipped up off the water, cold and salty despite the way the sun beat down on them. It was alright, honestly— refreshing after all those stuffy hours in the car.
These immortals were highly resistant to normal modes of transport. Like a plane— a real passenger plane, not a Russian cargo plane full of drugs. It was all cars and boats and trains, low to the ground, literally under the radar.
Nile understood why. She didn’t want to end up strapped down to a lab table like the one they escaped all those months ago. She’d just rather take a nice plane from the closest airport to Provence and get to Valletta in a matter of hours, rather than drive through three countries and all the way down the Italian boot, just to bribe a fishing boat.
Feed My Soul (The Old Guard)
Malta looked good on Nicolò.
Joe leaned on the railing of their balcony, looking down into their old, old walled garden where his Nico shuffled around in the herbs. He was looking for something particular, the bridge of his nose scrunching as he peered at the mess of overgrown pots.
Joe beamed, the familiar, all-encompassing warmth of loving that man filling him up and making him feel expansive and bright. There was a cathedral ceiling in his chest, airy and golden with the light of dawn through its tall, jeweled windows. There was a house of worship where his heart should be, and he traced the lines of the other man’s body like he was devoting a painting to him.
Sono Qui (The Old Guard)
Andy left Booker on the beach.
She felt his gaze follow her, but couldn’t bring herself to look back.
It wasn’t as if they had never separated before— as if the four of them had been constantly attached from the time they finally found the Frenchman, even after months and months of dreaming and searching. There were plenty of times where they spent months, or sometimes years apart. They took breaks from each other, they traveled. Just a year ago, Andy had declared that she needed a break— was that last year of being alone the thing that led Booker to betray them? Maybe they should’ve stayed together. She never should have left him. She understood how it felt to be alone in the world… to lose someone so precious that life loses its color.
Andy had left Booker plenty of times. It wasn’t something she liked to think about now, but she had… She had assumed he was handling it like her. Somber and drunk, wishing for some type of release. They’d talked about it enough times. But not like this.
Brother of My Heart (The Old Guard)
Joe clenched his hands on the steering wheel, flexing his fingers to feel the stretch in the tendons, even though any injuries from the fighting had long since healed.
While driving away from the ruins of Merrick’s car, the adrenaline was still rushing in his veins, and all his self control was devoted to staying reasonably within the speed limit. The last thing they needed was to get stopped by some bobby cop while covered in blood and dust, with a bullet through Andy’s stomach.
Right now, they needed to blend in. So, Joe didn’t press the gas pedal into the floor.
Care and Feeding (The Old Guard)
Nile couldn’t ever remember liking the cold.
Even at home in Chicago. Sure, her memories of warm Christmas masses, bright lights on the tree, and gently falling snow outside the kitchen window made her throat dry with that familiar, wistful grief. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to seeing pine trees or twinkle lights without thinking of her mom’s mac n cheese, or how early her brother would wake her up on Christmas morning.
But loving Christmas, and loving snow? Those were two completely different things.
Going Underground (Star Wars)
Poe wasn’t sure what it was like when they broke through the atmosphere into Yavin IV. He didn’t watch through the Falcon’s wide front window as the familiar jungles passed by in a blur of green underneath them, and he couldn’t pick out the roof of home from the surrounding grasses as they came in for a landing.
The first thing he saw as he came to, bleary and aching, was Finn. They’d fallen asleep right where they were, pressed shoulder to shoulder at the holochess table, Poe’s head on Finn’s shoulder. It took him a sluggish moment to recall why his hand had its own throbbing pulse, and why Finn’s soft, dark skin was pockmarked with strange cuts, glistening with bacta.
The second thing he saw, swallowing against the rush of memories filling his fuzzy mind, must have been a hallucination.
STAR WARS VIII: The Battle of the Force (Star Wars)
“General, I don’t know how much longer we can hold ‘em off—”
Poe’s voice crackled from the shoddy reception, nearly engulfed by the constant bombardment in the background.
“Commander, the Resistance depends on taking down this dreadnought.” Leia kept her voice steady and strong “Stand your ground.”
Beyond What We Can See (Star Wars)
If he was being honest with himself, he supposed that he’d been feeling the Force his whole life. He’d always just brushed it off as basic intuition— he thought everybody felt this way. It wasn’t until he started seeing the way the Force was treated in the First Order—as a myth, a fearful, distant thing—that he realized how much he needed to keep his head down. Even though he only felt it in small ways, he was different. He buried the feelings, tried to ignore the nagging dread that said that he didn’t belong there in his platoon. That none of them did.
But that wasn’t something he was allowed to feel. The Force wasn’t supposed to be something any of the troops knew firsthand.
Like She Always Did (Star Wars)
The first time she left was barely a memory. More of a dream. He didn’t remember the fight they had, but he knew in hindsight that they must’ve had it for much longer than the tail end that he saw. Maybe it was what got his little feet out of bed in the first place. Daddy’s eyes were rimmed with red and Mama was pacing out her anger into the sitting room rug. Poe’s eyes were wide as he watched from the threshold to the hall, his little hand gripping onto the pillow that he’d tugged along with him from his room.
Love Will Help You Heal (Star Wars)
Every inch of him throbbed, the last dregs of whatever the interrogation droid had injected him with still pumping through his bloodstream. He was so tired. How long had it even been? Getting captured on Jakku felt like a hazy dream, as if it was weeks ago.
No one was coming for him. He knew that much—he’d probably be mad if they endangered the resources to try—but he couldn’t help but wish anyway. Death seemed so close, like a cold hand on his shoulder, by his side in the recirculated air of the Star Destroyer.
He wished they’d just hurry up. His drug-addled, sleep deprived mind didn’t know if he was asking for rescue or death. Maybe they were the same thing now.
Dying a martyr. At least it suited the image—Poe Dameron, Poster Boy of the Resistance.
Ghosts of Future and Past (MCU/Captain America)
His head was throbbing. His back ached. Everything in him pulsed with agony like he’d been hit by a train.
A train. Bucky.
“Bucky is alive.”
He could feel the winter cold at the memory, his eyes snapping open as the past few moments came flooding back to him.
There had been another Steve. Even without the mask, he’d looked just like him. It must have been Loki playing tricks again, it had to be.
Sweet as Honey, Gold Like the Sun (Stranger Things)
Steve was drifting after high school graduation. He drifted right out of the halls of Hawkins High and into a desk job at his dad’s office. If he was being honest, he’d been drifting since the Gate closed— maybe even since Nancy broke it off.
He wasn’t mad. She was his best friend. He and Jonathan were even friends now. No, he hadn’t been mad for a long time— but he was lost. The kids were going to high school. Dustin would be getting his license one of these days, and Steve’s last function to his little gaggle of brats would become all but useless.
The idea of not serving a purpose left the bitter tang of anxiety in his throat. Once the kids didn’t need him— and Joyce and Hopper and even Nancy— Steve would be left behind. Again.
Okay... Some of these may have been more than just what is considered “Opening Lines”, but I can’t just leave something feeling unfinished, and I’m a little tipsy, which means I am bending the rules <3
**EDIT** i forgot to look for patterns and pick my favorite! I mean, I think all storytelling/creative expression (anything from developing a recipe to composing a painting to writing a story) follows a distinct formula. And the best way to establish the story is by starting it with the most important element front and center— I almost always start with my main character. A thought or a feeling, a situation or a sensation. They’re the focal point from which everything ripples out. Those first ripples (the 2nd, 3rd or 4th lines) are usually about building the setting. It’s an equation that works so well for me, and though I sometimes shake it up by adding immediate dialogue or flipping the positions of setting and main character, it has served me well ❤️ i think my favorite has to be Brother of My Heart. It’s the first really, immediately big story Ive ever had. So many comments, so much warmth, so many kind people— it grew my confidence and helped me make friends. It reminds me of how truly wonderful fandom can be, even just with the first few lines.
I’m going to continue to bend the rules by not tagging anyone immediately-- it’s giving me weird anxiety levels, so I’m gonna wait and do it later maybe. If, in the meantime, you see this and want to do it, write me down as the one who tagged you! <3 Feel frrrreeeeeeee!
#spartacus#the old guard#star wars#fanfiction#writing#writing by ME#<3 thank you friends#for thinking of me#it was really nice of you
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Sorry if this has been asked before, but what got into asoiaf? Also, did you like Arya and Jonrya from the first read or did that come later? What do you think of Jon as a character? What are your top 10 favourite characters and moments? I aplologise for this avalanche of questions but I just couldn't help wanting to know more of my favourite asoiaf writer. PS: I adore your aesthetic, your blog and writing gives me an otherworldly feeling.
Hey no worries! Ask away <333
but what got you into asoiaf? I’ve always been into quasi-medieval fantasy, and picked up asoiaf a looooooooong time ago, when I was in middle school. It was so engagingly written that it never really left my brain since? That’s like, ten whole years rent free I’ve been thinking about these characters. What recently spurred me into like, engaging with the fandom/writing/etc was the lack of action in the Jonrya tag, and more specifically, the lack of stories updating that I was interested in, so I decided to make my own 😅
Also, did you like Arya and Jonrya from the first read or did that come later? Re: liking Jon and Arya right off the bat--Okay, so when I first read the series, I was Going Through It IRL, and identified a lot with Jon and his storyline? But I was also so not past the age of “girls going on insane dangerous adventures and being brave despite that” being massively appealing and all the Arya chapters were a satisfyingly more adult version of that genre. I’ll say I liked them both from the get-go, and it’s never really died down since, and I just learned over the years and rereads to appreciate more of the characters. (If I’d been a little older on that first read, I probably would have glommed onto Tyrion instead, and my fandom interactions now would be...vastly different 😂😂😂)
I guess I sort of shipped it from the moment I read ADWD. Like, I was super into Jon&Arya before then--that level of devotion is one of my fictional relationship draws--but ADWD really got me into it. There was just something so compelling about how often they think of each other, and how badly they want to be reunited again, in Arya’s chapters especially. But the whole passage with the Pink Letter just Fucked Me Up emotionally, and suddenly I was like, “They should reunite and kiss”. Over the years, my enthusiasm for the ship has increased, as my very old slushpile of unpublished fics can attest.
What do you think of Jon as a character? I think he’s an incredibly complex character, which is my favorite type of character! His struggles in the series against his own desires versus his sense of duty, especially framed in the narrative by popular thoughts about bastards, and how that affected his self esteem--he has to be more honorable, more clever, more dedicated just to make up for a facet of his own existence that he didn’t control and can’t change!--is something I just find so compelling. And, of course, his deeply intense love for Arya always gets me like 😍😍😍😍 I don’t have any huge takes on him though--I’m not a very thinky type person and everything I think about characters seems so hard to articulate unless I’m pouring it out into a fic (so I’m sorry if you wanted Takes! This Bitch Empty!)
What are your top 10 favourite characters?
Arya
Jon
Daenerys
Brienne
Tyrion
Missandei
Oberyn
Bran
Asha
Sansa
What are your top 10 favourite moments? Alright, these are in no particular order of preference, just listened as I remembered/googled exactly what books they took place in
1. When Brienne rescues Willow from the Bloody mummers, despite knowing that they’ll kill her for the attempt, AFFC-Brienne VII. No chance and no choice gives me chills every fucking time
2. When Arya kills Dareon and walks off with his boots, AFFC-Cat of the Canals. This moment has implications and speaks to Arya’s inability to let go of herself, even when all that being a Stark means in that moment is the gruesome work of justice, but I’ll be honest--I just like it because of how nonchalant and almost sassy she is when taking the boots afterwards, and how it speaks to her practicality.
3. When Jon reads the Pink Letter and loses his shit, ADWD-Jon XIII. I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back …"I think we had best change the plan," Jon Snow said. Ohohohohhhoo!!! Juuuuust fuck me up GRRM!!
4. When Daenerys has breakfast with Missandei in Mereen and Missandei chides her into eating more, saying Daenerys is very small, ADWD-Daenerys VII. But also every Daenerys & Missandei interaction ever. Every time they speak to each other, you can just tell the level of care they have, and how they see each other as family over time!!!
5. When Arya travels with the Brotherhood Without Banners and gives water to the northern prisoners before watching as Anguy mercy-kills them, ASoS-Arya V. It’s a facet of Arya’s personality that imo, I think is ignored in metas and fics. She considers them her pack, and despite her disappointment in them, and her disgust at their crimes, still gives them water and finds them a quick, merciful death.
6. The dinner with the men of the Nightswatch and the discussion Bran and Robb have afterwards, about riding to the Wall to see Jon, and about whether their family will come back, AGoT-Bran IV This moment, I think, speaks to Robb’s characterization in a way that Catelyn’s POV chapters don’t touch very well. He’s so very young, despite everything, and trying his hardest, and well aware of the dangers his family is in, and how he’s falling short of saving them and there’s nothing he can do about that.
7. Oberyn during Tyrion’s trail by combat, and his arrogance and his rage, ASoS-Tyrion X. His demand that the Mountain say Elia’s name got me tearing up the first time I read it, not realizing what the cost of that justice would be for Oberyn himself. So much of ASoIaF deals with grief, and the consequences of obsessive grief, and this fit into the series so impeccably fucking well
8. Every single thing about Daenerys freeing the slaves at Astapor, ASoS-Daenerys III. One of the things I really didn’t appreciate in the show is how they changed the tone of that scene, very much altering it from Daenerys and her joy that she can do this thing, a balm after the horror she felt seeing the slaves and learning about the brutal training the Unsullied go through, into a moment that was just her being badass and powerful.
"Unsullied!" Dany galloped before them, her silver-gold braid flying behind her, her bell chiming with every stride. "Slay the Good Masters, slay the soldiers, slay every man who wears a tokar or holds a whip, but harm no child under twelve, and strike the chains off every slave you see." She raised the harpy's fingers in the air . . . and then she flung the scourge aside. "Freedom!" she sang out. "Dracarys! Dracarys!" "Dracarys!" they shouted back, the sweetest word she'd ever heard. "Dracarys! Dracarys!" And all around them slavers ran and sobbed and begged and died, and the dusty air was filled with spears and fire. "Dracarys!" they shouted back, the sweetest word she'd ever heard. "Dracarys! Dracarys!" And all around them slavers ran and sobbed and begged and died, and the dusty air was filled with spears and fire."Dracarys!" they shouted back, the sweetest word she'd ever heard. "Dracarys! Dracarys!" And all around them slavers ran and sobbed and begged and died, and the dusty air was filled with spears and fire. [Bold mine] The moment on the show was momentous, but this was-----vastly superior and far more indicative of her character.
9. Catelyn stopping the catspaw from killing Bran, AGoT-Catelyn III. Watching Catelyn emerge from the haze of her grief only to go full fucking ham feral and brutal protecting her child was like *chef’s kiss* There’s just such a cool contrast between her losing her shit talking with Robb a moment before, and then the actual fight, and then her busting out with: "The circumstances did not allow me to examine it closely, but I can vouch for its edge," Catelyn replied with a dry smile. "Why do you ask?"
10. This exchange: Alliser Thorne overheard him. "Lord Snow wants to take my place now." He sneered. "I'd have an easier time teaching a wolf to juggle than you will training this aurochs.""I'll take that wager, Ser Alliser," Jon said. "I'd love to see Ghost juggle." AGoT-Jon III. That’s the moment I knew I stanned Jon Snow irreparably, forever.
PS: I adore your aesthetic, your blog and writing gives me an otherworldly feeling. No u! For real, anon, that’s so fucking sweet of you to say 🥰🥰🥰 Hope I answered everything to your satisfaction, and feel free to come back and chat if the mood strikes ya!
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Happy Stranger Things Day!!
It’s been 4 years since Stranger Things was first premiered on Netflix! (already?) This series is very close to my heart, since it managed to inspire me after 3 long years of writer’s block. To commemorate that, I’ll be posting the epilogue to my first fanfic on AO3: Reality in Motion (also known as RiM by some in the ST fandom). Here goes the summary and first chapter:
Reality in Motion
Modern College AU.
It hurt her to listen to the ruthless voice in her head, but, as much as she hated to admit it, El knew it was probably right. It had happened countless times before. Well, actually two. Two times in which El found herself feeling funny and giddy and hopeful about someone, only to be disappointed. It always ended that way. She was destined to be alone and it was probably for the best.
AKA: Socially awkward Jane Ives' first semester in college. Also AKA: Not your typical nice-boy-meets-drunk-girl-at-a-party Mileven fic (because of all the angst and slowwwww burn, be warned).
Chapter 1: Changes
Wednesday 29th, November 2017
If there was something El Ives put her mind to, she was sure to accomplish it. Always.
Well, most of the times.
As a matter of fact, today was one of the few rare exceptions to that rule. This, since Will Byers, El’s best friend, had managed to convince the otherwise socially awkward El to finally come with him that weekend to some party at a friend’s house.
They were both currently seating on the beige colored carpet of her dorm room, supposedly trying to be productive by getting their History 102 assignment done before the due date.
“Pleeease El! I’m about to beg you, it’s almost Christmas break and, for once, I’d like for you to come meet my friends and not stay locked up here again like a loser”, Will had been pouting at his friend for over two hours.
“Hey, I happen to like being a loser”, said El feigning indignation and scowling at her skinny best friend.
Will managed to hold back his smile at his oldest friend’s antics and maintained a serious expression for the sake of getting his point across. They’d been friends since the age of twelve and both knew just how determined the other could be. Holding each other’s stares defiantly in a silent challenge, neither of them wanted to give in.
As she stubbornly stared into Will’s lively brown eyes, El suddenly felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her. She had been having a few of those for a while now, especially whenever she thought back on their high school days on Hawkins High School. Actually, the biggest irony was thinking about how much she had looked forward to graduating and moving as far away as humanly possible from that hell hole she called hometown. Whereas, now, she couldn’t help feeling strangely homesick. As a matter of fact, lately, El was often ambushed by random flashbacks from her teenage years and usually found herself wishing she could somehow go back and do it all better.
She regretted everything, actually, except for her friendship with Will.
Their friendship was yet another reason El kept thinking back in nostalgia to her high school days: even though Will and her had managed to get accepted into their dream college together and even lived in neighboring dorm buildings, she felt him more distant than ever before. Worse than that, El was painfully aware that she was the reason of the increasing (figurative) distance in their friendship and she loathed herself for it. Now, more than ever, she hated herself for her apathetic and awkward personality. Why couldn’t she be a normal eighteen year old? Why couldn’t she just stop feeling so nervous around other people? Because of this she was finally managing to drive her best friend away, her partner in crime, after being the closest of friends for over half a decade.
For most of their first semester at college she had declined Will’s enthusiastic invitations to parties and any social events, preferring to skip them in favor of spending her afternoons in the solitude of her room either reading ahead or watching some movie or TV show. It was just easier that way, it seemed. El had never really been a social butterfly and she knew how much Will loved meeting and bonding with new people. So, she just figured that she could give him some space by making herself scarce.
However (and she’d never admit it out loud), as Will started spending less and less time with her and his invitations became rare occurrences, El began feeling terribly lonely (which was weird). She usually cherished her alone time, often glad she wasn’t out there fake smiling and making small talk, getting emotionally drained after overthinking and worrying over every tiny detail of her social interactions. Nonetheless, now, it just felt like a very different kind of loneliness.
El felt lonely in a bad way, a way she hadn’t felt for quite a long time: the kind of lonely she used to feel before meeting Joyce Byers and befriending her son, Will.
Finally, after glaring at Will some more, El lowered her gaze in defeat. Mostly because she missed spending more time with him, and also because she was a bit curious about going to a college party.
“Ok. Fine, I’ll go. BUT I’ll only stay until a reasonable hour and you better not be dragging me up there so I can be your designated driver”, answered El with an annoyed huff, hurling one of her fluffy pillows on Will’s general direction and feeling quite annoyed (mostly at her pathetic, abnormal self).
Her friend easily managed to catch the pillow midair and offered El a sympathetic smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. She knew he was worried about her spending so much time by herself – the fact that she had no roommate made it easier for her to just hide away for hours on end without any excuse.
“I’m only doing this for your own good El, you know I look out for you and it’s about time you start having a normal college experience and, you know, getting to know people. After all, the semester is almost over”.
--….--…--…---
Friday 1st, December 2017
El bit her lip as she stared at her reflection on the mirror critically. Was her top too revealing? Was her midsection looking gross and bloated? Should she put any make up on? Was her hair ok? Were jeans and sneakers too casual for the party?
Man, I badly needed a School of Life 101 crash course, El thought with a groan.
It was always on times like this that El really wished she had a roommate or a best friend who could actually give advice on these kinds of things. It was also on times like these that El regretted not learning about this stuff back on high school. Finally, after examining her reflection some more, she decided to change her sneakers in favor of her black leather boots and apply some lipstick to her dry lips.
Feeling quite nervous, she turned her phone screen on and was surprised to see several messages from Will.
8:02 pm U excited yet for your first college party?
8:03 pm Totally getting drunk as skunks 2nite.
8:46 pm Waiting for the guys, we’re coming to pick u up
9:29 pm On our way, expect a call in 15
9:44 pm Almost there
9:59 pm Ok, let’s go
*3 missed calls from MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD*
10:03 pm Pick up the phone
10:11 pm We’re waiting downstairs
10:27 pm What the hell u doing? We’ve been here for ages
El was surprised to find out how long she had taken to get ready, her nervousness was really not helping. As quickly as possible, she grabbed her tiny purse and keys and made her way out. At that very moment, her phone screen lit up and the contact name Will had programmed for himself popped up.
*incoming call from MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD*
Smiling, El answered.
“I’m sorry, I completely lost track of time, that’s all. I’m almost there”, she said breathlessly while making her way down the flight of stairs.
“No problem El, just making sure you were still up for it”, answered Will sympathetically.
“Wait. So did I actually have an option?” replied El only half joking.
She really was terribly nervous, like she always was whenever she had to face a new social situation.
Will laughed at her lame attempt at making a joke and was silent for a bit, maybe trying to empathize with his best friend’s nervousness.
El could hear Will’s friends talking loudly on the background:
“We need to hurry if we want to get wasted before the night ends, that’s kind of the point of tonight”, a loud male voice whined pathetically.
“Hey, I’m actually enjoying watching this show”, another male voice answered in fake annoyance.
“Booooooring”, someone else interjected.
“You’re too lame Wheeler”, the first voice teased.
The conversation on the background grew faint as El realized Will must have walked away from his friends to talk to her privately.
“Everything will be fine and you’ll have fun, you’ll see. If you feel uncomfortable or something you have us”, finally whispered Will before hanging up.
El had really tried to avoid meeting Will’s friends for a while now, feeling resentment and jealousy towards them because her best friend spent most of his time with them now and talked all the time about how fun and loyal they were.
It actually made sense that they spent time together since they were all taking science related careers and had most of their classes together – Will was an engineer major, like Lucas, while Dustin and Mike were physics majors.
It was silly, she knew.
Calm down El, it’s going to be ok, Will’s friends are probably as nice as him.
Finally, El got to her building’s common area. She saw four guys sprawled comfortably all over the beige couches, two of them were fighting over the remote and the other two were trying to watch whatever show was on TV.
They didn’t notice her presence until she started timidly approaching Will, who was gazing at the screen with mild interest. He was the first one of the group to notice her and his face was instantly filled with a broad smile.
“You’re finally here!” he exclaimed, startling everyone.
“Guys, this is El”, Will said loudly. Then, pointing at each of the guys next to him, he introduced them, “These are Lucas, Dustin and Mike”.
“Thanks for waiting”, El managed to smile at them without making eye contact. She hoped they didn’t notice her nervousness.
“No problem”, said the smallest one of them, Dustin, “honestly, we were all dying to finally meet you”.
“Yeah, we had a bet going on about Will’s friend being imaginary”, laughed Lucas.
Upon hearing that last comment, El snorted while trying to contain a laugh and turned to look at Will with amusement. Her friend merely shrugged.
“See how you make me look bad El?”
“Oh, it was only for the sake of making the bet more interesting”, answered El with a laugh, “it would have been no fun without the mystery, now would it?”
The guys smiled, amused, and the air significantly relaxed. She felt a tiny bit more comfortable, and the voice in her head repeating her own doubts and fears in a loop grew quiet for the first time that night.
“So, who won the bet?” asked Will, looking at his friends.
“Me”, said the tallest boy, Mike, smiling.
He was the only one who hadn’t spoken up yet, but she recognized his voice from her phone call with Will – he was the one who claimed to be enjoying the TV show while they waited for her to arrive.
Overcome by curiosity, El risked a glance up at him and was surprised to find him already looking at her, matching her interest. They made eye contact.
“So thank you for being real, I guess”, he said smiling kindly at her.
She quickly averted her gaze, not knowing what to do or how to respond, and tried to keep her upcoming blush from actually showing on her face. It wasn’t even a compliment, why was she reacting like this?
Social awkwardness truly sucked.
There was a short moment of silence, which was (thankfully) quickly broken by Lucas.
“Ok, let’s get going”, said Lucas enthusiastically as he strode to the nearest exit.
--….--…--…---
Saturday 2nd, December 2017
She’d drank too much, too soon.
Of course, the fact that Will kept refilling her red solo cup with mysterious mixes of liquor didn’t help at all. But she wasn’t complaining at all. All things considered, El found the whole experience quite interesting. Actually, she was pleased to realize that the alcohol numbed that voice that constantly reminded her of all her insecurities and flaws. She found this quite liberating.
She felt like she could do anything. Be anyone she wanted.
Will’s friends had left them to join a game of beer pong not so long ago, which had also helped El feel a whole lot more relaxed. Up until then, she had been too scared of acting like a weirdo around the guys and so she had barely talked.
For the first time in a long time, no worries or guilt lurked El’s mind.
As time went by, the music surrounding her stopped being too loud and the vibration of the bass on the floor actually made her lively in a way she had scarcely felt before. Before she knew it, her foot was tapping the floor to the beat of the unknown song. She tried to pay attention to whatever Will was saying (maybe a funny story about someone in one of his classes? What was that about a teacher?), but words kept jumbling around making it hard for her to understand anything at all.
My thought process is screwed up, El thought.
Suddenly, it occurred to her that that was the funniest, wittiest thing she had ever come up with, so she giggled uncontrollably.
Will smiled affectionately at the giggling girl beside him. He had really tried to be a good friend that night, staying with her the whole time – probably suspecting that if she got to feel too awkward, she’d escape the party.
“I loooooove you so much Willy Will”, said El hugging her friend, “do you know that?”
El’s ears suddenly caught onto a tune, alerting her of something.
Something quite urgent.
Do you recall, not long ago We would walk on the sidewalk? Innocent, remember? All we did was care for each other
“BYERS!!!! COME ON!” she exclaimed giddily, standing up clumsily and dragging her skinny best friend to the middle of the room, “IT’S OUR JAM!”
But the night was warm We were bold and young All around, the wind blows We would only hold on to let go
Will could only smile at her random behavior. He had never been a good dancer and he had not drank nearly as much as El had, so he just sort of awkwardly tried shuffling his feet and swaying his body to the catchy song.
“BLOW A KISS FIRE A GUN, WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO LEAN ON”, El was screaming while swaying her hips wildly, her eyes were closed, “BLOW A KISS FIRE A GUN, ALL WE NEED IS SMEBODY TO LEAN ON”.
Will tried his hardest to keep up with El’s moves, but she was like a woman possessed, jumping around and twirling in every direction. It seemed that all those months of pent up energy – probably gathered after all those afternoons of voluntary isolation – were finally finding an outlet. After a couple of songs and happy to see his friend finally having fun, Will decided his job there was done.
“El. El! EL!!” he screamed to get her attention.
She faced him, smiling wildly. Her face shiny with sweat from the exertion and the warmth in the room. Will couldn’t help mirroring her grin.
“I just can’t keep up with you!” he said teasing her, “I’m gonna go find the guys”.
El stuck out her tongue at him and waved goodbye.
“YOU’RE SUCH A KID ELEVEN!” Will exclaimed as he headed to the other room, where he last saw his friends heading to.
--….--…--…---
Her feet were killing her.
El made her way to the nearest sitting space she could find, a couch on the left side of the room. She sat down for a minute in the crowded couch, slowly trying to move her toes so she didn’t feel them cramping anymore. She was currently sandwiched uncomfortably between a sleeping guy and a couple making out. She tried to ignore the snores and the sounds the couple were making.
She hadn’t seen Will or any of his friends for at least a couple of hours and she was not about to go wandering off looking for them. Will was probably drunk by now, maybe talking to the cute guy from their History 102 class that he always rambled on about. El smiled fondly, remembering how much of a hopeless romantic her best friend was.
She tried laying back on the couch and closing her tired eyes, but everything was too hot and her feet hurt too much. It was way too uncomfortable.
El glanced hopefully at the glass doors that led into the balcony. With any luck, there wouldn’t be anyone out there smoking.
She hated the smell of tobacco. It reminded her of him.
El shut her eyes tightly, desperately trying to chase away the memories that begged to be replayed on her mind, and massaged her throbbing temples. She tried to take a deep, calming breath and relax somehow, but the air felt too moist and everything smelled like alcohol and sweat. Suddenly, she was too aware of the extremely loud music and the annoying presence of the people around her. And there were too many people. Too many unfamiliar faces. Frustrated, El opened her eyes slowly, glancing around at the room full of strangers.
Dejection filled her thoroughly, tonight had been great so far and she just happened to ruin it by opening a door she had closed more than five years ago. She’d promised it would never haunt her, never hurt her again. But it was always there, lurking. It was always him, never allowing her to escape his choking grip.
Without even thinking about it, she had started walking on the opposite direction of the balcony, towards the main door of the house. As she stepped outside of the house, she couldn’t help noticing the wide brown door was ajar. El moved forward taking slow, deliberate steps, knowing her balance was far from being the most stable.
She glanced around quickly.
Sighing in relief at the fact that she had apparently managed to escape the smokers, El leaned on the nearest wall and stared off into the darkened streets and houses. Her body still felt light, but most the energy she had at the beginning of the night had ebbed away by now, leaving her exhausted. Soon enough, she noticed that the volume of the music and the noise from the house was once again bearable for her. However, without the loud (loud! loud!) music infecting her thoughts, she was left at the mercy of the familiar cold voice in her head: it was her own voice, but ruthless and emotionless, and it never tired of always repeating everything she didn’t want to hear.
She wondered what time it was, she was too lazy to get her phone out and check the time. Her fuzzy brain was making everything a lot harder.
“You ok?” a familiar voiced questioned.
El found herself staring up into the freckle-covered face of one of Will’s friends.
“Just tired and hot”, she replied, “it’s like a freaking oven in there”.
He just chuckled.
“Why are you out here?” she suddenly asked.
“Oh, just getting some air to clear my head”, the tall guy answered shrugging, “I am the lucky soul who gets to be the designated driver for tonight”.
El smiled in amusement.
His name is Mike, El suddenly remembered, her scattered, hazy thoughts becoming a tiny bit clearer.
“You know, I was convinced the only reason Will invited me here was so I’d have the honor of being the DD”.
They remained in a comfortable silence for a while, both staring off and busy with their own thoughts.
“Will is worried about you”, Mike stated after a while.
“I know”, El answered sadly, “it’s just hard for me, you know?”
Mike furrowed his brow in confusion.
“No matter how hard I try, it’s hard for me to feel comfortable or relaxed or even normal around new people or in new places”, she explained almost in a whisper.
“It’s ok to feel that way”, he said like it was the most natural thing in the world, his gaze showing empathy.
El snorted, fully aware that no, it was not okay to be such an introverted freak. She was not stupid. She knew it was a limitation, something that held her back from experiences and people and things she really wanted. She was all too aware that it was what isolated her from everyone and ultimately stood like a solid barrier, shielding her even from the ones she deeply cared about.
“I felt very lonely coming here at first”, Mike confessed smiling crookedly in her direction, “I consider myself a lucky guy, having Dustin as a roommate and meeting Lucas and Will on my first week here”.
“Will is an amazing friend”, El answered smiling, “and all of you seem like pretty cool guys”, she added honestly.
Mike blushed a bit and lowered his gaze, focusing on his wristwatch.
Who even owns a wristwatch these days?, wondered El with amusement as she glanced at him with the corner of her eye.
“Hey, it’s barely 1 am, how do you feel about going for a drive and coming back to pick up our friends’ drunken asses?” suddenly asked Mike.
Full story: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12840366/chapters/29318523
#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#mileven#mileven fanfiction#mileven fanfic#stranger things angst#stranger things day#mike wheeler#mike and eleven#eleven#jane hopper#el hopper#el and mike#eleven and mike#mileven fluff#st#fanfiction
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Intruder — Part 2
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Hi could would you be interested in writing a Bane fic were he and one or two of his men need to hideout, and they come across this home kinda of hidden away or in an isolated area and a girl lives there on her own. He decides to keep her alive and eventually they fall for each other. I'd also like him to to be kinda mean and dominant. + She has to stay in main room with bane so he can make sure she doesn't escape😉 I'm sensing a smutty imagine. I like my bane a Dom with choking of course. I don't ask for much do I 🤣🤣
Part 1
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A few days came and went. That was the biggest lie you’d ever been told in your life. A few days meant 2, maybe 3. It didn’t mean 26.
They’d been staying with you for almost a month.
Bane was far more protective over you then he’d initially intended on being. He had thought he’d set some ground rules and that would be it. He didn’t expect to be lurking around every corner, watching you tend to laundry and dishes, ensuring that neither Larry or Oscar even dared to stare at you. He felt a constant need to watch, fascinated by something so simple as another human. His eyes danced with sympathy when he saw sadness strike your expression. He felt pangs of guilt, emotions he’d thought had been buried. It made him sick to his stomach. He was a bad guy. That’s how everyone viewed him. He wasn’t suppose to feel regret. And since he did, why didn’t he leave? Well, because then he’d never see you again. And it was so safe here, why leave?
The forks cluttered as you noisily dropped them into the opened wooden drawer. All of the cutlery was messily placed together in that one area, shoved so tightly in the space that it was difficult to shut the drawer. It took a few tries, harsh slams, before it unwillingly closed. You lifted your gaze to the man in the corner, lips twitching upward in the slightest to bid him good morning. You didn’t like Bane. You simply tolerated him. You didn’t have a say on whether or not he should stay or go, you just had to deal with what he chose to do. Your brain pricked and pried at the thumping of your heart, begging to know why it was beating heavily beneath his unwavering stare. You wouldn’t find the answer, not when the reminder of ‘I don’t like Bane’ contradicted the hammering of your artery.
Bane stepped into the room, short fingertips, coated in embedded dirt, tracing the tabletop that had recently been cleaned. He watched the little sway of your hips as you scrubbed at the dishes in the sink. He lied to himself daily, insisting that he didn’t feel anything for you. You were just a hostage. A girl who’s home he needed to use. But the cops were long gone, no longer looking in this area. He’d gone off the radar and he was free to go. But he kept you under the impression that he had to stay.
“Morning.” Your quiet voice greeted. It was so welcoming, like a soft breeze on a hot day, urging him to come out and enjoy the nice weather, only in this case, your tone urged him to venture further into the room. He did. The bottoms of his boots were thick with leather, rough against the tile in the kitchen. He’d never be able to silently approach, for the shoes on his feet sounded like he walked with boulders tied to his ankles.
He let out a hoarse grunt. It was drawn out, more of a drone, as he stepped toward the table further. Coffee mugs were set out, empty and clean, awaiting the beverage that simmered in the corner. Steam rose from the pot, alerting the thirsty occupants in the room that the liquid was hot enough to burn them, but was ready to be ingested. Bane looked toward the pot before looking back toward you as he set himself down on the corner of the table. Why settle for a chair? You looked briefly to his position before rotating around. He scrutinized you, remaining silent as you weaved around his outspread legs in order to tend to the remaining duties. When he’d first arrived, he’d made it clear that you’d never be allowed to be on your own, but within just a few days, he had seen how trusting you were. He’d let his guard down. And so far, that wasn’t a mistake. Granting you your independence meant that you didn’t feel so trapped, you had some amount of freedom. Sleeping was the only time you had no choice of receiving any privacy.
“Where are the others?” He asked suddenly. Your grip on the rag tightened, accidentally wringing the cloth. Water spilt on the floor, droplets of it staining the wood as you stood a few feet away from him. Eyeing the little dribbles, your eyes lifted to his, studying him.
“Outside.” Your answers were always short and sweet. “I think they saw a fox.” Your words made your heart hurt. There was no need to harm an animal, the creatures around here minded their business and because you’d never bothered them, they tended to come close, stealing the leftovers from your opened trash can. What a mistake it had been to leave the bin open that morning. You’d never seen two men move so quickly, laughing like hyenas as they raced after their prey. Your jaw clenched before you resumed cleaning the countertops. “No use in chasing down an innocent pup, Ive got plenty of food.” Bane squinted before looking toward the window. There was no sign of either of them.
“I wouldn’t worry too much,” He spoke, words followed by the rough groaning of the table as it’s legs scraped the floor. He grumbled out before pushing the table back into its original position. “neither of them are too smart — or too quick.” He brushed his finger along the front of his vest before moving toward you. Cleaning seemed to be all you did. And that had only begun once they arrived because bane still vividly remembered the filthy rooms that the home had had when they first arrived. You sent him a light smile of thanks for his attempt at reassurance before stepping around him again. His palm shot forward, ceasing your wrist in his surprisingly tender grip. You looked up at him curiously. Fear wasn’t present in your eyes and it made him want to hit you. Nobody had ever looked at him — a man who wasn’t understood, a man with a mask, with a built body, capable of crushing someone with the fist he had wrapped around your arm — with such sincerity. Why weren’t you scared of him? Those pools of blue ignited with an emotion you weren’t familiar with. “Why do you live up here? All on your own?” You reminded him of himself. Tucked away in a sewer was the same as being on top of a mountain. No distractions, no arguments, no nuisances — apart from his men. Your plump lips pressed together as you pondered his words.
“I like the quiet.” He almost smiled. His heavy, harsh breaths filled the silent room. He didn’t pry further, he sensed that was the best answer he’d be able to get from you. “Why are you on the run from the law?” Your question made him freeze. The hand on your wrist shifted before falling away from you.
“I’m not on the run.” He explained. “I’m simply hiding out while my home is invaded.”
“For a month?” His eyes shot to you. Where did this bravery come from? He was use to your silence.
“For as long as it takes.” His tone was deeper, harsher, a cue for you to be quiet and stop asking so many questions. You did so without much complaint.
The rag in your hand was dropped in the dirty clothes basket beside the counter. Fingertips skimming the handle, you inspected the amount of washing you had to do before with a soft hum, you shut the lid and looked toward the man. He was fixated on staring at the steaming pot of coffee. He eyed the droplets of condensation that raced along the sides of the glass before, when he felt your prying eyes, he looked toward you. The both of you stared at one another, blue eyes latched on to pools of curiosity. He tipped his head to the side, a silent inquiry, but you didn’t speak. Your hand traced the counter as you passed before you dipped out of the room and moved into the den.
Reading was your favorite part of the day. Curled up on the edge of the sofa with your elbow on the arm and your finger twisted around a lock of your hair. Bane would eventually set a glass of lemonade down on the coffee table when he passed, no words exchanged, just a glance before he made his way outside. You were growing to enjoy his company. It wasn’t threatening like it had been when he’d first arrived. You sat, glasses low on the bridge of your nose with a yellow-covered book opened on your lap. It was easy to get lost in the story, absentmindedly drinking the beverage he had grown accustomed to making for you. Not too sweet, not too sour. This was how you stayed for majority of the day, only disappearing into the kitchen when it was time to make dinner.
You were beginning to wonder if you’d been so lonely that this — getting along with intruders — was your only means of happiness.
It was a week later when a fourth intruder showed up. You were stood in the corridor, adjusting the crooked framed that hung on the tan walls. Family didn’t reside in the frames, images of flowers or pretty scenery’s did. You had a habit of fixing what didn’t necessarily need to be fixed. You’d stand in the hall for an hour, adjusting the angle repeatedly until you’d found it in yourself to stop. But today Bane stopped you.
His grip on you was harsh and rough, unrelenting in its secure hold. He shoved you into the bedroom and shut the door loudly. Your words fell on deaf ears, eyes wide and desperate. Demanding to know what the hell he was doing and why he was holding you so aggressively.
“Shut up.” Bane hissed out. His hand lifted to your mouth, covering it swiftly with his palm. You whimpered against his flesh. His skin was rough, dry, but it smelled pleasant. The scent of burning wood filled your nostrils, it was stained in his flesh from all the heavy-lifting he’d been doing earlier that week. “Listen to me.” Their was a hidden warning in his tone. “Listen.” He shook you roughly, noting the faraway look in your eye. “That man,” monster. “will not hesitate to take advantage of you.” Your chest lifted with your shaky inhale. “And damned as I am, I’m nowhere near as bad as he is,” His grip on you slackened in the slightest. “so you’d better learn and learn quick, that you’re going to have to play my little game.” Confusion swam in your gaze, words building in your throat as you prepped yourself to ask for clarification.
“Bane!” A chortle sounded from the opposite side of the door. “Come on out, now, I just wanna see her.” The doorknob rattled beneath the frantic grip of whomever the bloke was on the other side.
“I don’t share.” Bane was much calmer. His eyes were glued to yours as he spoke up. “Let her be, Zander, she’s of no use to you.” You pulled your bottom lip in so you could suckle on it, chest beginning to heave. Your mouth opened again, ready to speak, but Zander beat you to it.
“A hostage is a hostage. That’s shared territory.” The entire door shook again. “Now let me in!” Bane lifted his hand to his face. Tracing the mask that covered his lips, his eyes closed. He doubted you’d pick up on what he was hinting at because of how silly he felt, he was incapable of bluntly saying ‘act like you’re with me’. No matter what though, he wouldn’t let Zander hurt you. He felt oddly attached. Bane shifted slowly before moving his calloused fingers to your soft cheek. He traced the warm surface, eyes gliding between your shimmering orbs. The door flew open, effectively ruining the moment. Zander stepped forward, tongue hungrily tracing his lips which were very much accessible and easy to use — unlike Bane’s. “Come here, darling, I don’t bite.” He snickered loudly.
Bane gripped your hand and drew you into his chest. His eyes warned you to search for some common sense, and once you’d found it, you did all that you could think of to do. Your body lifted, tiptoes steadily supporting your weight. Your hands found the sides of his cheeks and your mouth pressed against his. To tear the thing off and kiss him like you should was too risky. Afterall, nobody knew what would happen. Despite the fact that bane couldn’t feel your lips, he could feel your chest as it pressed to his own. Your shallow breaths and warm fingertips. He hooked his arm around you and held you close to him.
“Now, now.” Zander cut in once more. “Let me have a taste.” Bane drew back sharply, fingers sinking into your lower back.
“Out, Zander. I said, she’s not to be messed with.” The tone of voice made it clear that Bane was being serious. The warmth from his fingertips seeped through the blouse you wore. “Go.” He nudged you gently to the corner. “Sit.” You blindly moved backward, but you kept a close eye on the man in the doorway who hadn’t tore his eyes from your body. You moved to the bed, dropping down on the edge of it before you pressed your knees together and watched the scene unfold.
“Since when do you care about a hostage?” Zander inquired. Undoing the gloves that were laced securely around his wrists, he tucked the leathered material away into the deep pocket of his coat before finally looking toward Bane. Bane was his boss and whatever the man said went, but Zander was known to be disobedient. He loved trouble.
“We don’t hurt women.” Bane ground out. The entire room seemingly shook beneath the force of his footsteps. The lamp in the corner unsteadily wobbled and the stack of books threatened to collapse on the floor. “We don’t even take women. This was accidental. The house was suppose to be empty.”
“But it weren’t.” Zander ushered to you.
You pulled your bottom lip in nervously. Trying to tune the men out was impossible. You were picking up on everything they said. They didn’t typically take women as hostages — and the only reason they’d taken you is because you were inside the house. Your fingers itched, you wanted to bury them in your ears and drown out their deep voices. But that made you look weak and you were far from that. The bed creaked beneath your movements, crumpled comforter tempting to grab ahold of to bite back the nerves in your stomach. You eyed Zander.
Freckles coated his skin. Every inch of his face cradled a brown spot. His nose was covered the most, pointed like a witch’s nose. His eyes were seemingly kind, green and bright, but the deeper you looked, the more deceitful they became. Black locks, sprinkled with speckles of sand from where it looked like he’d been rolling around in the dirt outside. His cheeks held extra fat, chubby opposed to hollow. It was a characteristic most people seemed to have, no sunken, hollow spaces, just a rounded surface. Red hue’s coated his skin which gave him the effect of a blushing schoolboy or a tantrum-throwing toddler. His teeth were missing in various places, snaggled in the places where they still resided. He had long eyelashes, and a scar along one of his eyelids. You were sure he would’ve been rather charming if his personality didn’t absolutely clash with his appearance. Externally he was nice to look at, but his personality made him absolutely hideous. You tore your eyes away from him when he took a step forward. His chest was visible through the shirt he wore, undone down to the middle of his rib cage. More scars could be seen in the gaps of the thin fabric. He looked about 27, as precise as that was, he didn’t look old enough to be 30, and he carried too many bags beneath his eyes and pain in his gaze to be younger.
Bane defensively stepped to the side to halt the man from going any further. Bane. He was at least mid-30’s. His cheeks weren’t chubby, but they weren’t hollow like the movie star’s. He had scars on his back, deep gashes that were deeply embedded in the tough tissue. You’d seen them when he’d removed his shirt for bed — rarely doing so — only when it was a particularly hot night. His scalp was bald. He didn’t ever shave it though, so you assumed it just didn’t grow. His skin, though it appeared rough, was soft. You’d spent countless nights tracing the bulging biceps when you couldn’t sleep. It was absentminded, just little caresses you’d given him because you couldn’t give yourself over to exhaustion. He liked the touches. Goosebumps would rise on his skin, visible and feelable beneath your fingertips. It wasn’t like you were sleeping with him, but you might as well have been. Oscar and Larry thought you were, seeing as bane was far too protective over a hostage.
Mornings were spent on the porch, tucked away on the sturdy swing. It was a long bench, one that held you and bane with no problem. He had a tendency to lay his arms out wide, opened so you could lay against his side with your head on his shoulder and a coffee mug in your hands, cradled to your chest. He protected you from the cool breezes that accompanied the rising sun.
He helped you with gardening. With fixing lunch. With cleaning. He was always a step behind you, lurking and following like a lost puppy. At first, you’d been threatened. You’d felt like you had no space and like the man simply didn’t trust you, but now, it was comforting. He wasn’t doing the tasks because he didn’t want to awkwardly stand, he wanted to be helpful. He wanted to take some of the stress off your shoulders. You didn’t feel like a hostage anymore and that alone scared you more than the fear in your belly at the present moment.
Zander inhaled deeply. The sound was infused with annoyance. He clearly wasn’t going to get to you, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. He took a small step backward before narrowing his eyes when bane spoke up again.
“I won’t tell you again to let her be.” He pressed his closed fist against his opened palm, cracking his stiff knuckles. “And if you dare try anything, I promise, I will not hesitate to kill you.” The threat wasn’t empty. Friends made the same threats. Siblings did. Family members, threatening playfully to harm another human with no true intention of following through. Amusement would trickle in the words, alerting whomever one was speaking to that ‘ill kill you’ was another way of saying, ‘seriously, don’t do this’. But bane was serious. The threat was low and heavy. The very words made a shiver run along your spine. It was evident Zander believed him, but you still saw the tint of want in the boy’s gaze. Bane clenched his jaw before watching as the bloke left the room.
His heavy boot kicked the wood shut. It didn’t close perfectly because zander had broken the hinges, but it closed enough. Bane turned around to face you, expression softening and tense body relaxing. He made his way toward you, boots thudding against the carpet quietly before he lowered himself down at your side.
“He won’t mess with you.” Bane was positive.
“You don’t know that.” Your voice shook in the slightest. “He could sneak in when you’re sleeping, or sneak up on me when you’re out.” Bane shook his head lightly.
“That boy isn’t going to mess with you.” He reiterated. “I promise.” His hand found yours, resting on the bed. He gripped it gently, tenderly. Your ears stung with his previous words of this being a ‘little game’, but then, tucked away in private, why was he still touching you? His palm was rough to the touch as he lazily caressed your skin. For such a mean and powerful person, he was tender with you in his own way. Part of you wondered if he just loved ownership and possession, but even if that were the case, you weren’t sure you’d be bothered. He wasn’t treating you bad. Your eyes closed and your body shuffled closer to his own, seeking the comfort he was attempting to offer. His arm opened, ushering you into his chest so he could hold you. The touches were beginning to linger. The confidence was growing stronger. The man was falling for his hostage and you, the hostage, were falling for your kidnapper. He wasn’t holding you captive any longer though. He felt like more of a roommate than an enemy.
—
The house was silent. Some time during the night, Bane had laid back against the mattress and your sleepy body had followed. Tucked away beneath the warmth of the duvet, your body wrapped around his securely. He felt like he had two blankets on top of him instead of just one. His hand rested on your lower back, your leg thrown over his own so you could rest comfortably. The birds outside cawed noisily as they soared above your home, wings flapping as they flew through the night. The wind whistled loudly, shaking the trees so the branches dropped the endless amount of leaves.
Zander was sat on the porch with Oscar, eyes glued to the stars above.
“We’ll have our way with her.” He grumbled out. His words were quiet and slurred because of the alcohol he’d consumed. His bare feet shuffled against the patio, cement drenched in dirt which effectively stained the bottoms of his feet. He looked toward the silent man at his side before shoving his shoulder when he didn’t get any words of encouragement or agreement. Oscar folded his arms.
“You’re on your own, mate. Bane made it clear, she’s not to be touched.” To his left, Larry stood, pocketknife switched open so he could use the blade to pick at the dirt under his fingernails. He looked over his shoulder when he realized what the topic of discussion was. His eyes rolled.
“I’d be careful, Zander.” Larry spoke. “Oscar’s right. We tried to mess with her.” He turned. “And it didn’t turn out so good.” The moonlight illuminated the gash on Larry’s face. Zander hadn’t seen it before, but it was because he hadn’t been given a chance. Now though, the moon’s rays danced along the bloke’s skin. The wound was recently inflicted because it was scabbed and in the process of healing. Zander grunted out in annoyance.
“He’s not doing her.” He shook his head. “He’s just making sure you two ain’t either. I seen the way she was looking at him. Unsure. Ain’t no girl gonna look at a man like that - not unless she’s afraid she i’nt safe.” He set the bottle of liquor down between his ankles before slouching. His knee lazily bounced, head spinning with the various different ways he could have his way with you. They all involved luring Bane away.
Oscar exchanged a look with Larry. They didn’t want any trouble and Zander, well he was nothing but. Oscar lowered his hand to his pocket and pinched the pieces of fruit he’d sliced earlier that day. Popping a piece of Apple past his lips, he munched loudly on the crunchy treat before standing.
“I don’t want no part in this.” He made it clear. “You try anything and it’ll be your body we’re burying.” He stepped over the clutter of empty beer bottles and moved back into the house. He’d learned quickly, after watching the blade in bane’s hand slice his best friend’s face that you were off limits. And he wasn’t going to complain. It was in these moments, when another idiot was present, one with no sense at all, that he realized the error of his ways. Messing with you wouldn’t do him any good. Teaming up with Zander would lead to two dead bodies instead of one. He swallowed thickly before making his way toward the kitchen so he could drop down at the table. He was going to mind his own business.
Larry was hot on his heels. His footsteps weren’t as quiet, they were noisy and flooded the length of the house, no doubt waking the slumbering couple down the hall. He didn’t think the two of you were screwing either, but he didn’t doubt that there was something going on. Lingering touches. Soft caresses. He’d seen the looks the pair of you gave each other. A sense of longing lingered in the kitchen each time the two of you were stood close, but not close enough. He joined Oscar at the table before letting out a loud sigh.
“We gotta get rid of him.” The bloke whispered to Oscar. “He’s gonna cause too much trouble.”
Bane shifted a dramatic amount of times because of the footsteps. His body rolled this way and that, flexed arm tugging you along with him when he found a different position to lay in. You let out a soft sound of discomfort, a quiet whimper to tell him to be still. He heaved a loud huff, a puff of air as he sat up. His arm was still buried beneath you, your head tucked away in the crook of his elbow.
“Be still.” You mumbled out tiredly, hot breaths wafting over his chest. Your hand moved along his stomach, small body wiggling to be closer to his own. Bane peered down at you, breaths noisier because of the silent room and the mask he wore.
“Can’t get comfy.” He told you as softly as he could. He didn’t want to disrupt your sleep, just because he couldn’t figure out how to lay. You opened your eyes. They were so droopy, threatening to flutter shut as you stared up at him. You let out a quiet hum before lazily rolling on to your side, back to him.
“Come here.” He listened without hesitation. The front of his chest molded against your back, arm hooking securely around your waist as he shuffled forward. Spooning was always much nicer for him than it was for you, you had a hard time sleeping stiffly on your side, but you could handle it for tonight. Bane let out a breathy sigh of relief, fingertips tracing your stomach as he thanked you. You let out a quiet hum before gripping his large hand with your own. He fit against you like a missing piece to a puzzle, perfectly joining together when you were pushed into place.
You envisioned him pressing half-asleep kisses against the side of your neck. His lips were full, pink, wet from his constant urge to lick them. You imagined he was a terrific kisser and a constant one.
A little frown etched itself onto your lips and a quiet humph of disappointment left your lips. You squirmed in the slightest before involuntarily whimpering.
“We don’t have to lay like this.” He started, but your grip on him silenced him instantly.
“No.. I’m comfortable.” You assured him. You didn’t speak further, but you could feel the question lingering in the air, though he hadn’t asked yet. ‘Why did you whimper?’ “Bane..” You looked over your shoulder. It didn’t seem right to pry, nor did you even think you should be asking such a question, but in your tired state of mind, you didn’t think much on it. “Did you ever kiss anyone? Before you got that thing on your face.”
He shook his head. His eyes were closed.
“Didn’t you ever want to?” You spoke again.
One of his eyes opened at your question. His hand moved to your lips, fingers pressing against them to silence you before he turned your head back forward and hushed you by holding you tighter. The silence didn’t last before you spoke again.
“I think.. I’d like to kiss you.” Your words made both of his eyes open. He wiggled briefly, an action to express his shyness.
“What on earth are you on about?” He uttered gruffly.
“I’m on about wishing you didn’t have that thing on your face.” The bed creaked as you rolled over to face him. Leaning up on your elbow, you moved your fingertips to the mask and lazily began to trace it. He eyed you in confusion. Not only were your words random, but his brain had never screamed ‘hostage’ louder than it was now. “Does it come off?”
Bane shifted. “I don’t know. I’ve never tried to remove it.” Your fingers brushed along the bottom of it. You wouldnt try to remove it for fear that it would kill him. He clearly wore it for a reason. Your fingers moved away from his mask and instead to his throat. Caressing his jugular, you traced his Adam’s apple before leaning up. Closing the space between the two of you, your mouth pressed against the mask. Your leg, already thrown over one of his thighs, bent so you could lift yourself up and on top of him. He was laid on his back because of all your moving and now, you straddled one of his legs, hands placed on either side of him. He didn’t ask questions, he merely gazed up at you and let you do as you pleased. His leg bent slightly, becoming a perfect seat for you to lower yourself down on. Mix that with the fact that your lips were inching toward his ear and you have a heavily breathing bear laid beneath you. You could tell that your touches made him sensitive. Your mouth grazed his ear, hips lowering so you sat firmly on his thigh.
You sunk your hips down more firmly and against his own before slowly beginning to rock on his thigh. Bane was instantly filled with confusion over how you’d gone from ‘I wish I could kiss you’ to ‘I’ll settle for humping your thigh’, but he didn’t stop you. His wide palm found your hip, cradling it as you began to rock your body in a steady rhythm. Your mouth closed around his ear lobe, gently suckling on the flesh before nipping at it with your teeth. Bane’s eyes fluttered before rolling. The feel of a woman’s lips on his body was foreign. He could barely hold his eyes open.
You rubbed yourself against him harder, teeth clasping down on your cheek as you angled your body perfectly. The action of grinding made the bundle of nerves between your legs extremely sensitive and the longer you gave in to the friction his leg offered, the louder your moans grew and the closer to orgasm you found yourself. Bane was impatient though. He wanted to flip you over and shove himself inside you. He wanted to screw you to the point that you wondered if he hated you. Lost in his thoughts, he briefly lost his self control. His hand curled around your throat and as swiftly as he’d spooned you, he’d flipped you over and pinned you to the bed. You still had the ability to grind against his thigh, only now you had a hand around your throat, squeezing and cradling as he stared down at you with readable eyes. So many emotions waltzed together in those pools. You bit your bottom lip, hands moving to his arms as he let out a low growl. Your vision was growing starry and you didn’t know if it was because you were losing consciousness or because you were nearing orgasm, but you figured it was a little bit of both.
The room around you began to darken and the man on top of you was beginning to groan. You could feel how he adjusted himself, switching his thigh for his crotch so the pair of you could grind against each other instead. He pulled your thighs around his hips and hid his face in your neck. The room around you went black and you felt like you were floating.
—
Sweat. It covered your skin like the man had the night before. You woke under the impression that you had bruises on your throat from his strong grip and achy thighs from how harshly he’d been buried between them. But your throat didn’t hurt and your thighs weren’t sore. You pulled your lips in and looked to the vacant space beside you. The rapid beating of your heart told you that the sex that had taken place had merely been a dream. You didn’t have the courage to climb on top of your captor and grind against him confidently. He hadn’t flipped you over and cradled your throat so firmly, but delicately. He hadn’t pushed himself between your thighs and buried himself inside you like you were craving for him to do now. The skin of your cheeks was hot and the thumping of your heart grew louder. You’d dreamt it up.
“Put him outside.” Bane’s voice filled the hall. “Now. I don’t want her seeing this.” You looked toward the door before slowly, quickly, laying back down. Flipping over and on to your side so your back was to the door, you eyed the wall in confusion. It had felt so real. “Because I said so..” He halted in the hall. “Right. That’s what I thought.” The sound of the door slamming filled your home and then you could hear bane approaching once more.
Larry and Oscar looked to each other before hunching over. Larry had Zander’s feet and Oscar had his shoulders. Blood was spattered along the walls and floor. The bench dripped with the sticky substance. The men hobbled, carrying the lifeless form toward the dirt in the distance. Zander had been murdered, by which bloke, Bane didn’t know, but whichever had done it refused to fess up.
You sleepily rolled over when Bane entered the room, attempting to make it look like you’d just woken. He slowed the second that you came into view. His lips twitched upward, blue eyes meeting your own. Bane was more than aware of the dream you’d had, seeing as you were quite loud in your sleep, but he didn’t say anything about it, he simply moved toward the bed.
“Morning.” He seemed much calmer.
“It is.” You nodded before looking toward the ceiling. “Sleep good?” You spoke up quietly before sitting up on the bed.
“I did,” He nodded before pulling off his vest. “Did you?” His lips twitched. “Thought you might’ve been having a nightmare.” He watched the way your body fidgeted before smirking to himself when you looked to him shyly.
“A nightmare? No.. no, I had a very um.. it was a very nice dream actually.” You stated before climbing off the bed. His hand caught yours, gentle as you passed. He hauled you back and into him before eyeing you intently.
“Sounded like you were in pain. Whimpering all night long.” He didn’t mention that you’d moaned out his name, or that you’d been lazily rocking your body for the entirety of the night. You looked up at him, eyes scanning his. He was clueless, you decided.
“No.. don’t worry. I must’ve been trying to talk and couldn’t get my words out.” Your explanation only made his ego boost significantly. You’d enjoyed what you’d dreamt of.
“Well,” His thumb lifted to your chin. “so long as you’re alright.” He traced your soft flesh before looking to the door. He could’ve teased you all morning, dragging out how you truly felt about your dream, but instead he switched the topic. “Zander is dead.” The words made your body slump. “Don’t know who did it. But woke to the boys standing over him. Could’ve been a wild animal.” It wasn’t. “Or maybe one of them drunkenly stabbed it.” Not drunkenly. “Not sure, but.. we don’t have to worry about him now.” Relief filled you because you didn’t have to stress over looking over your shoulder every five seconds, and then sadness because you had no excuse to kiss and touch Bane. He seemed unbothered which told you all you needed to know. He didn’t feel the same. But the hand he let linger on your face told you differently. It silenced all other thoughts.
“Dead?” You whispered.
“Buried.” He confirmed. His hand fell from your face to your arm. Tracing the length of it, he studied your expression. He had no reason to stay, he realized as he stood in front of you. No reason but because of you. “Oscar and Larry are leaving. I don’t know why or what’s gotten into them, but they made it clear they’re ready to go.” Your brows twitched.
“So you’re going too?” He wasnt sure if your eagerness was out of stress because you wanted him to stay, or if it was a shove for him to get to the exit now.
“No.” He folded his arms then, waiting for your response. “No, they have places to go apart from the sewer. I, on the other hand, do not.” You bit your bottom lip and tried to contain the second wave of relief that flooded you.
“That’s fine.” Your eyes fluttered. He almost smiled at the way you calmed. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to make you like him the way that you so clearly did, but he was grateful for it. Because he returned those feelings.
The room was silent, just the pair of you stood in front of one another and the faint sound of Larry and Oscar burying Zander’s body in the yard. You didn’t care that Zander was deceased. You didnt care that the murderer was in your house. All you cared about was the man stood in front of you and how you were going to make your vivid dream come true.
———————————————————————
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~*~
Lucien leaned back again and closed his eyes as he sipped his tea, with a hum going out with a long and low exhale through his nostrils. After some time of wrapping his head around this revelation, within the uncomfortable silence that fell between us, his eyes shot open and stared up at me over the rim of his cup, ablaze and sharp with anticipation for a further explanation.
I wet my lips and heaved out the rest:
“On the 16th of Sun’s Dawn, Year 409, father attended a Hearts Day Celebration at Castle Cheydinhal. It had been seven years since we lost mother to an untimely death— from a respiratory illness that she had developed as a consequence of prolonged confinement in the coal mines of Eastmarch during a Fighters Guild quest. Being a widow and single father for that long was beginning to weigh his spirits down, so he went with the innocent intention of finding someone who would make a good wife and mother. All was well and promising for a while, but it took a horrible turn near the end. While he was in the library, conversing with the countess, he blacked out. For a time, the only thing he could recall happening after that was waking up in one of the guest rooms… lying next to the still sleeping Llathasa.”
Lucien responded with another low, growling noise into his tea as he sipped it again.
“After a great deal of agonizing and trying to figure out how the hell it all happened, father left for home that very morning. During the trip back, he started to remember some things that happened between the library and waking up— that he was overcome by what he called a ‘waking dream’—though fully conscious, all reason and fear of consequences left him, responding only to his… um… attraction to Llathasa. It became clear to him that, during this event, someone must’ve slipped something into one of the wine barrels that altered the minds of all who consumed it—Sanguine mischief most likely, since that prince of sexual deviousness has his goons cause chaos of that nature on Hearts Day every year.”
“Sounds like a logical conclusion to me,” he heaved, sitting up straight to eat from his plate with the usual aristocratic grace. His brow sank over his puzzled eyes. “Where was Andel all that time?”
“I have no idea. Obviously, wherever he was, it was not where he could’ve intervened or discovered them together. Anyway… I’m sure you’ve done the math in your head already, but that was roughly nine months before Farwil was born. During that time, father avoided Castle Cheydinhal out of fear and guilt, but was compelled to return when we received the ‘exciting’ announcement that Lady Llathasa was finally with child, and that we were invited to stay in the castle to be a part of the celebration of his birth. Knowing that he was the real father of the child, he insisted on being there, no matter how awkward it was going to be for him or Llathasa. It was his son.”
“I understand the compulsion, but if I were in his boots I would not’ve brought my children with me. What if Andel knew and had his guards ready to ambush and send him to the executioner’s block?”
“He was assured that he didn’t. Llathasa included a secret message in the invitation that was sent out to him. It said: ‘He’s your son. Andel doesn’t know’.”
“Hmm… and how did you come to know all of this?”
“I overheard a conversation between him and my eldest sister, Ruthandra. It was on the evening we returned from one of our visits with the Indarys family. Thirst woke me up, and as I went downstairs to fetch water from the well, I was stopped by their voices; there was a tension in them that piqued my interest, so I stopped and listened carefully as he spilled it all out. I was old enough to put a few pieces of the conversation that I heard together and understand that he had fathered Farwil.” I stopped to soothe my dry and tightened throat with more tea. “I remember just sitting there at the bottom of the stairs and staring out the window of the back door, just trying to comprehend what I had just heard. By the time I had realized father was about to walk right past me, on his way to his bedroom, it was too late to scamper up the stairs unnoticed. When he inquired about why I was up so late, I told him it was for water and admitted that I had overheard what he told Ruthandra. He wasn’t happy about it, but he answered me truthfully when I asked if Farwil is our little brother—leaving out explicit details, of course. He told me that Andel should never suffer the knowledge of the truth, so that he may remain until his last breath in blissful belief that his wife had bedded with no other man and Farwil is his flesh-and-blood son. He made me promise to keep it a family secret, and I have for over twenty years. You’re the first person I’ve shared this with.” I reached down to grab more snacks from the plate, but it was completely empty— I had been absently munching on them throughout the whole story. Catching my breath after exhausting my voice, I just went quiet for a while and waited for him to reply.
“Malkhai,” he said, looking directly into my eyes with deep sincerity. “I promise that this secret will be safe with me. And… don’t you fret any about breaking the promise to your father. It’s like you said—it is a family secret. You and I are family.”
I smiled weakly. “I wish I could say it makes me feel better. But there are still anxious thoughts about Andel—he’s never confronted me about it but… it’s so obvious that he at least knows that Farwil was fathered by someone else. My theory is that, before understanding the situation, he performed the Black Sacrament to have a Llathasa’s accident staged by a Dark Brotherhood assassin, which is why he is now bound to a lifelong obligation to us.” I leaned forward and looked directly into his eyes. “Would I be correct... Lucien ?”
The corner of his mouth stretched into a sinister grin as he narrowed his eyes and chuckled, “It would certainly seem to be the case, wouldn’t it?” He laced his fingers together over his wide, toothy smile as he chuckled again, “As much as I would like to take credit for that work, I must be honest and say that I was not involved in her death… none of our Brothers or Sisters were, in fact.”
“But… then for whom did Andel perform the Black Sacrament?”
“A political rival, and that’s all I’m going to say.” Lucien’s brow sank again, struck by the memory of what was said back in Taneth. “Hmmm… but I do wonder… thinking back on what Farwil said about Llathasa lamenting at the chapel… if it was all an accident, why would she say she had ‘hurt a friend in a way she feared can never be forgiven’?”
“That confuses me too,” I said. “At this point, the only way we’ll ever know is if I unearth more of those private letters or father can explain it himself… if I ever find him.” A sudden dreadful thought entered my mind, twisting knots in my chest. With much reluctance, I asked Lucien “Please tell me… did the Dark Brotherhood make my father disappear?”
Lucien shook his head immediately, looking straight into my eyes again as he said “I swear to all the Powers of the Void, we were not involved in his disappearance either.”
“Oh good!!” I breathed out with a sigh of relief. “Because that would’ve made things even more complicated than they already are.” I pondered a little while, scratching my chin. “Still, it doesn’t rule out the possibility of Andel’s involvement.” I grinned, then flirtatiously folded my arms under my chest and leaned inward. “Gee… I sure wish I knew someone who could do some thorough, investigative work in the castle to find any clues that would either confirm or deny that theory. I’ll be sure to make it worth the effort and risk, once I am in a... position to do so.”
"Considering what he'll risk," Lucien replied, taking in a deep breath and hiding a bashful grin behind his cup as he sipped more tea. “That someone would have to consult his superior first, I'm sure… but this matter must be set aside for now. We need to keep our focus on our current task.”
“Right… which means that we need to get adequate sleep soon,” I looked over at the large bed in the corner, through the protective rail made with scrapped Ayleid doors, torturing myself with a vision of us between those silky red sheets.
“Yes. I suppose, since it's already well past midnight, I'll have to let you go back to the guildhall.” Lucien replied. He then followed my gaze and read the longing in it well, then said with an aggravated sigh, “You know how much I wish I could ask you to stay.”
“I do, but I know why you cannot. But... as much as I disagree with the reasoning, I will respect it.”
“Thank you. I can’t say that I don’t share your frustration, but you need to understand the Listener’s restrictions as a necessary measure. In the past, our enemies have gone as far as marrying a member of the Black Hand in order to infiltrate the organization, and have done so successfully multiple times. Also, there is the concern of a relationship opening the doors of favoritism and manipulation. The Listener needs to know that it is through your own talents and skills that you have achieved high ranks and rewards, not because I gave you an unfair advantage.”
“The marriage part I understand just fine, but not even being allowed to... “ I shook my head and grumbled. “I’m sorry, but I think that’s insane.”
Lucien heaved a heavy, gravely breath as he shot me a warning glare.
"And... um... I'm just going to stop there... before I say anything else I'll probably regret," I said, averting my eyes as I stood up.
“Wise decision.” He replied, rising also and fetching my bag and cowl for me.
“So... um… what are you going to tell the Listener if he asks you why you chose me to play the student?” I asked him.
“The truth, of course: you’re strong enough to bear the weight of all those metal pieces, and you’re the only one that possesses the right... hmm… aesthetic qualities .” He answered—heaving a gravely, longing breath. I could almost feel his touch as he eyed me up and down, and it sent another fiery wave through my body.
We then departed the way we had greeted— with some uneasiness, he slowly closed the short distance between us and placed his hands upon my shoulders. This time the kisses he gave each cheek were a little longer, and he couldn’t resist taking the perfume in again as he kissed the left check. He tilted his head slightly to the right, almost giving into the temptation to kiss my lips. With his mouth only a couple inches away from mine, he half-whispered: “Rest well, Malkhai .”
“You too, Lucien ,” I replied with a slightly trembling voice.
LaChance opened the door and bowed his head as I left through it, putting the cowl back on and pulling the handle of the bag over my shoulder. I turned around for one last exchange of smiles, without a further word, and exited the apartment building.
The streets were still crowded, but since the vendors were closed there was less resistance in the straight path from Sisters of the Sands to the Mages Guildhall— I just had to be extra mindful of my steps because of all the garbage and pools of drunkard heaves on the ground. As unpleasant as it was, I would take waste hazard maze over the uncomfortable situation that awaited me at the guildhall. Even if he had declared that he had no authority over me, arousing Farwil’s anger could have terrible consequences for everyone else.
The tension inside cooled when it seemed like everyone had retired to their respective sleeping quarters and were well into their sleep. But, no more than a few seconds after ease washed over me, I heard a voice growl from the black shadows of the wide hallway: “Where the hell have you been??”
End of Part XIII
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sublatis ancoris et margarita
pairing: pirate!jeno x gender neutral reader (bulleted)
genre: fluff and angst
word count: 2.8k
summary: sublatis ancoris et margarita (latin): anchor and pearl
a/n: this is the first time ive been able to write something so easily in such a long time. this one just kinda flowed out of me. ive been in such a terrible creative rut lately. it means a lot to me that this one came together. i was very scared i was losing my ability to write. im so so proud of this one.
pirate jeno
he’s sailed for as long as he can remember
he’s pretty sure he was conceived and born on a ship
he learned to walk on the wobbly deck of his father’s boat
which resulted in him having to get his land legs, rather than the other way around
jeno was attached to the ocean
sea water ran through his veins
he came from a long line of sailors
but he wasn’t a violent pirate
the lee family wasn’t after power, and they already were wealthy
they truly just loved sailing
the art and everything that came along with it
they loved to travel the seas and visit new places
discovering new islands and finding pretty things along the way
sure, sometimes they found treasure and sold it for money
sometimes they kept the treasures for mementos
but they never fought or got into trouble
the crew was intimating enough to where they didn’t have to fight
the ship was ginormous and beautifully crafted
intricate flowers on the side
plus with 18 men onboard just to keep jeno safe and a big crew
what small boat would even go near them
they pushed themselves to travel farther, go on longer voyages, find shinier, bigger jewels
jeno loved jewels and precious stones
he loved the meaning behind them
whenever his family found them amongst the treasures, they would immediately go to jeno
pearls became his favorite
not only were they something beautiful created from something rough
but different colored pearls represented different things
some meant perfection, prosperity, love, protection, etc
he loved the idea of giving them as gifts and the look on people’s faces as he told them the symbolism
and he always carried pearls with him
once his parents had gotten older they decided to stay on land for the rest of their days
they handed the ship and crew down to jeno
now captain of The Flora
his friends adored him and the crew respected him
he didn’t think he could be happier than he was on the open ocean
from time to time in between journeys jeno would visit his family
he thought the small village where they settled down was adorable
he couldn’t find a place like it no matter where he sailed
it was a quaint island and a tight knit community
small houses and businesses lining the cobblestone streets
lanterns and candles on every corner, casting an amber glow across the whole town
at first the townspeople were afraid of him
a huge ship docked at the edge of their tiny shore, and what seemed to be at least 100 scary pirates filing off of the deck
it really was about 30 lanky men who enjoyed singing sea shanties in their free time
but jeno’s warm smile and honey like voice immediately put them at ease
kids would run out to the beach when The Flora came into view
they gravitated towards the lure of a pirate lifestyle
johnny and yukhei loved to bring the children on board and let them explore
yuta and doyoung loved to show them the bounties they brought in
renjun and donghyuck told them ghost pirate stories while kun and jaemin were there to comfort afterwards
everyone greeted the crew of The Flora with big smiles each time they entered their shops
sometimes he’d be bearing gifts, other times they would send him off with goods for his travels
although he loved the town and his parents, he could never stay away from the sea for too long
it was like it called to him
the freedom he felt was like no other
funnily enough, jeno hated anchors
anchors meant being tied down, having to pick a place to stay
the idea of being somewhere for longer than a few days made his skin crawl
that is, until he met you
you worked in the small outpost for sea trade your family owned
the little shed was tucked into the rocks by the beach
you watched every time The Flora pulled in
you hoped one day your dream of a handsome pirate would come true
but anytime one walked in they reeked of fish, had unkempt hair and stained clothes
yeah you didn't want to kiss any of those bearded faces
you thought you saw some cute boys leave the ship but you had never gone out to meet any of them
you kinda hoped they would come by instead
one day you were writing in your journal, daydreaming to the sounds of the waves you grew to love so much
someone knocked on the door to get your attention
when you looked up, you were breathless
he walked in with sun kissed skin, saltwater making his hair curly
he wore a white button up blouse with lace details at the collar and sleeves
black pants and tall, black boots
his smile was unlike anything you had ever seen
he had clean teeth!! white teeth!! who knew pirates could have nice teeth!!
and his eyes
his eyes sparkled and when he grinned at you his eyes turned into crescent moons reflecting off the water
he was beautiful
you introduced yourselves
you found yourself rolling his name over and over on your tongue quietly
little did you know he was doing the same
he showed you the few silver treasures he had hoping to sell them
among them was a small anchor pendant he had received from a blacksmith on a far away island
jeno noticed how your eyes lingered on it a little too long
his gaze moved from your awestruck expression to the journal you had been writing in when he entered
an anchor was stamped into the front of the brown leather cover
before you turned back to count up how much he would be getting, he pulled the charm back into his sleeve
“oh, how did that get in there? this isn't for sale, im sorry about that.” he mumbled
he saw your face fall slightly, as you had planned to buy it back from your father once it was the store’s
you two had a small conversation and exchanged the items for money
your hand brushed against his and his skin was dry from the salt and sun, but it still made your heart skip a beat
he bowed a little and thanked you for your kindness
you tried your hardest to wipe the longing from your face as you watched him head back to the boat
jeno entered the captain's quarters with a feeling in his chest he couldn't explain
as he began to put the money away, mark, a crew member he had known since he was little, walked by
he noticed the change in jeno immediately and asked him if he felt okay
the younger boy nodded, hoping the red on his face would be mistaken for sunburn
he made his way to his parents house, determined to find out more about you
after many questions and “no reason, just wondering” responses, jeno was even more intrigued
he made a note in his mind
new voyage, new treasure
jeno returned a few times, each time flirtier than the last
some days he didn’t even bring any treasures, visiting under the pretense of “just checking your stock”
“jeno, you’re the only ship at the island, how could we have new stock?”
“well you know, someone could've docked overnight or something...”
you two became fast friends
you loved hearing of his adventures, he just loved talking to you
now you just expected him to be there each morning
you didn't expect for him to be holding a sweet from the bakery, however
“is this okay? we've never talked about our favorite foods and i didn't know what to get you but if not i can go back-”
“jeno, it’s perfect.”
each time you interrupted his rambles you loved to watch his furrowed brows smooth out and see his mouth pull up in a grin
he was always worried he was doing something wrong
but you were always there to reassure him
one morning, he arrived surprised to find you asleep on the counter
he smiled, taking in your features
he hesitantly raised his hand to push your hair away from your face, hoping not to startle you
as his fingertips brushed your cheek, he heard the message loud and clear ringing between his ears
you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on
you woke up to jeno staring down at you
lovingly?
he apologized profusely for waking you
you explained profusely that it was okay
he cleared his throat
"i was wondering if i could see you,” he started
“like, see you somewhere other than your job. maybe i could take you out tonight,”
your heart thumped against your ribs
“i mean only if you’d like to,” he scratched the back of his neck, realizing this was a little sudden considering you just woke up
“and it would seem a little weird if a scary pirate took you on his ship for the night and i dont want your family to freak out, so do you know of a place we could go? only if you want to-”
“jeno, i do.”
his face lit up like the summer sun
“you do?”
it took all of his self control to not hug you right then and there
“i do, and i know just the place we can go.”
jeno glowed all day
that night as the sun dipped below the horizon you led jeno to the top of the rocks above your outpost
you two talked under the stars for hours
you didn't leave until you knew you were barely gonna be able to function at work the next day
you felt a light in your chest that wasn't there before
jeno became a part of your routine
he’d greet you each morning, go off to do “pirate business” as he put it, and meet you at your spot each night
you found yourself opening up to this “intimidating” pirate and questioned if this was the right thing to do
soon it became impossible to watch the night sky without holding him
he’d tuck you under his chin and you'd wrap your arms around his waist
your ear pressed to his chest gave you your new favorite sound
the waves were drowned out by his heartbeat and the vibrations of his voice
just having him near felt warm and safe and right
he wasnt scary, or anything like anyone you'd met before
he was just jeno
jeno with sun dried skin and soft moon eyes and lips you desperately wanted to know the taste of
jeno with incredible stories of islands and treasure that you desperately wanted to be a part of
but what was scary was falling for him so quickly
“im so sorry,” he whispered into your hair one night
you felt your eyes shut, knowing what was coming, expecting it
you knew he was a traveler, you couldn't take that away from him
you would be an anchor
a burden
he had already stayed on your island for a month, he was going to have to go back out eventually
and it would hurt both of you
you couldn't leave home forever
and he couldn't stay forever
so
you began to push him away
you would say hi in the mornings and leave your spot early on into the nights
you'd force yourself to get out of his grasp and trudge away with a heavy weight on your shoulders
and jeno swore he could hear his heart break in his chest
when he watched you come up with excuses to leave the rocks each night he wished on every star in the sky that things would be okay
he knew what you were doing, and it was terrifying
for the first time in his life, brave pirate jeno was afraid of something
losing you
you pushed him away night after night, closing yourself off to him
you wouldn't let him hold you close, you barely spoke
‘just until he leaves,’ you kept telling yourself, ‘once he's gone it’ll be easy to forget him’
the night before his ship was scheduled to go, he was already at your spot when you arrived
jeno waited until you sat down beside him, staring off at the water as he spoke
“i've never had a home,” he started
‘this was it,’ you thought, ‘he’s gonna sail away and take my heart with him’
“ive traveled all over the ocean. ive stopped at countless places. ive met so many people,”
“ive never had a home. ive never wanted to stay anywhere for more than a few weeks. there never was any reason to,”
‘here it comes’ you felt like you were going to fall and tumble into the sea below
he turned to face you, a look written across his features you've never seen before
“you are my home.”
what?
you waited, not realizing you were holding your breath until he began again
“you are my home. home isn't a place, its a person, a feeling. and i would stay anywhere if it meant being with you. i would stay forever if forever was in your arms.”
“jeno-”
“please hear me out.” his voice cracked with an emotion you couldn't pin, fear? urgency?
“i know its unfair. its unfair that i did this to you. i leave. i fell for you and forgot that leaving is what i do. i cant ask you to come with me. but if you want me to stay, id give the ship to one of my men and stay right here with you.”
“jeno you-”
“please let me finish.”
“ive been attacked by other pirates, ive been on a sinking ship, ive sailed through shark infested water, but ive never been as scared as i am right now.”
he picked up your hand and placed it over his heart
it was beating just as fast as yours
“you are the greatest treasure i could ever find. i love you and i would be foolish to leave you on this island in search of more silver cups or red rubies-”
you pulled on his shirt and brought his mouth to yours
his lips were chapped but they tasted of coconut
they were warm against your own
he moved slowly, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek
his other hand found yours resting against his chest
the rhythm of your kiss matching that of the waves kissing the shoreline
“jeno-” you whispered against him, pulling away just enough to see into his eyes
“i can’t ask you to give up sailing, but i love you too much to let you go. i can wait for you. i can stay here and be yours, and you can be mine, and when you come home ill still be yours. ill always be yours. i can-”
this time it was his turn to quiet your rambling
he pushed you to lay back onto the rock and pressed open mouth kisses to different parts of your lips
he kissed you for what felt like hours, until your lips were puffy and red and you two were breathless
he helped you sit up and then he rested his forehead on yours
“i have something for you.”
you couldn't imagine how he could make your heart happier than it already was
he reached into his pocket and placed his hand inside yours, depositing the small anchor pendant into your palms
it was on a beautiful silver chain, and when you examined it closely, there were now two small pearls on the tips of the anchor
“the black pearl represents protection,” jeno opened the clasp to place it around your neck, “i will always keep you safe.”
you turned around and felt yourself shiver
at his words or his breath against your skin you didn't know
“the blue pearl symbolizes true love.” he said into the shell of your ear, pressing a small kiss to it
he held you until the sunrise, falling asleep to the sound of your heart
when he woke the next morning, you were still there, fingers intertwined with his
he knew you'd always be there
you always were there
you sent jeno off with a full heart and the taste of coconut lingering in your mouth
but you knew he’d be back
he always came back
anytime you missed him you touched your necklace
anytime he missed you he would write you letters in your brown leather notebook
sometimes he took you on small trips to nearby islands and you got to watch your boyfriend in action
you became his pearl, his greatest treasure
and when The Flora did return from voyages, the kids still lined up, the townspeople still smiled, and you still felt your heart race
jeno, a little sunburnt and homesick? yes, but leaving?
never
you also became his anchor, but it wasn’t such a terrible thing to stop and stay for a little while
#im so so so so proud of this#I put so much love into this#please enjoy:')#jeno#lee jeno#jeno au#jeno imagine#jeno blurb#jeno lee#jeno nct#nct jeno#nct dream jeno#nct dream#jeno nct dream#nct dream imagine#nct#nct 127#nct u#nct 2018#nct 2019#nct fluff#nct au#nct imagines#nct imagine#nct angst#jeno fluff#jeno angst#lee jeno imagines#jeno soft hours#my writing
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literally all of the asks. i dare you do it
wait... for real? gee, i mean thanks i really appreciate it but i feel bad for everyones feed now1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? probs something cheeky like "so, come here often?" or somethin like that2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?¯\_(ツ)_/¯3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?nope its their life4. Is your last name longer than six letters?nope5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?uhhh in between?6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?yeppppp like most of the time7. What does your last received text say?"oh shit dill! yooooo"8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?bruh its been a while idk maybe like a handful?9. Where was your last kiss at?someones dorm10. When is the last time you saw your sister?literally at work this morning lol11. What do you drink in the morning?juice or excellence12. Where did you sleep last night?alone on my futon13. Do you think relationships are hard?no but ya gotta put in the effort yafeel?14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?yeaahhh15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?no but id just rather not16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?sunny17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?yea18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?i like jeans but no pants is best pants19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?i fucking hope omg20. Does anyone like you?i think so amd i hope they do21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?nope22. Is the last person you kissed gay?nah 23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?maybe my old dormmate from scad but even that i can get over24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?yeah i want constellations on me25. In the past week have you cried?nah26. What breed was the last dog you saw? pitbull + something (idk what my dogs mixed with)27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?out like why tf would i dry off in the wet shower 28. Have you ever kissed a football player?no29. Do you think you’re old?this is based on perspective and you know that. 30. Do you like text messaging?yeah i think its a nice casual way of keeping in touch31. What type of day are you having?a pretty good one32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?maybe but idk man33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?warm weather is fun for summer but i want snow in wintert goddammit34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?yeah35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?relationships have much more meaning but honestly thats up to the gal i just really want affection at this point36. Are you a simple or complicated person?uhhh im kind of a wildcard so who fucking knows theres a lot going on37. What song are you listening to?the radio rn but recently it was learn to fly by foo fighters38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?yeah of course39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?i dont think i even know almost everything about me tbh40. What made you start liking the person you like now?WOW what a question uhh cute/gorgeous? funny? personality? has shown affection/interest in me? like what more do you want???41. When did you last receive a text message?9:34 group chat 3:55 text42. What is wrong with you right now?wow thats a loaded question so next43. How well do you know the last female you texted?we kinda just met so theres still a lot to learn but so far kinda well44. Does anyone disgust you?people who dont show consideration for others or the environment45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?hell yes46. Are you in a good mood right now?yeah id say so47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?my parents?48. What color shirt are you wearing?black v neck, baby49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?no i dont think so50. Anyone you’re giving up on?nah i dont think you should ever give up on anyone51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?no. not even a little bit52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?no53. Do you like rain?yeah its real relaxing 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?no way i can make her cool drinks!55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?like 90% of them omg 56. Do you like to cuddle?uhhh who doesnt?57. Are you shy?in some situations but people always tell me im really social 58. Do you get along with girls?yeah idk why59. Have you dated the person you texted last?no? 60. What do you carry with you at all times?phone, wallet, keys 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?yes whats more haunting than student loans 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?yeah and i would really want to 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?nope 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?yesssss65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?yeah. like a lot of cute shit66. How old are the last three people you kissed?well now youre asking if ive kissed three whole people67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? uhhh68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? leopard print reminds me of early 2000's mall rat ladies so dear god no69. Do you have any stickers on your car? yeah from all the schools i attended70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? idk man does it really matter?71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? i like apples ui and the simplicity but ive been using android for the past couple years. just got the s8 and its great. 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? last week?73. Do you like diet soda? eh. dont like dont hate74. What color are the walls in your room? 3 are tan one is black75. Are you 16 or older? yep76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? nope77. Do you have a job? yep catch me at that bed bath and beyond life 78. What are your initials? ztf79. Did you ever have braces? yeah it kinda sucked80. Are you from the south? no81. What does your last status on facebook say? "sinners." in reply to a mountain of cardboard boxes in my old dorm82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? yeah83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? probs my dad84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? i did gymnastics when i was a wee lad85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? dude idk im just pumped for cars 3 midnight release86. Do you smoke? nah87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? ew88. Is your phone touch screen? wow 200889. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? it kinda just does its own thing and i love it for that90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? yeah91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool for swimming, lake for canoeing92. Have you ever made out in a car? woah yes and theres a big story behind that lol93. …Had sex in a car? not like full sex but hand stuff yea94. Are you single or in a relationship? as single as the last 20 years of my life (very)95. What were you doing last night at midnight? watching the office i think96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? new years but i got a bunch that i wanna light97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah it great for snapshots and convenience but ill always prefer my dslr98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? ...like healthcare? no99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? nah 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? i dont hate anyone so no101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? if i was pregnant i wouldnt be the only one who was scared102. Name your favorite Kesha song: why103. Do you have any tan lines right now? HA no im white as fuck but maybe in the summer ill burn up some color104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? for realsies or for fun? cuz yes to eitherthanks again for asking me!! i appreciate it a whole lot!
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all of them as in literally all of them? hell yea go for it!
Why not?
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?
I’d be confused. She’s straight.
2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
It’s somewhat complicated
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?
yes
4. Is your last name longer than six letters?
Yes
5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
Sober
6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?
I think?
7. What does your last received text say?
"Fuck”
8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?
Too many to count
9. Where was your last kiss at?
Probably school
10. When is the last time you saw your sister?
like 10 minutes ago
11. What do you drink in the morning?
Water
12. Where did you sleep last night?
My bed
13. Do you think relationships are hard?
Yes
14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?
Probably not
15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
No problems here.
16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
Depends
17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
yes. My grandma
18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?
I wore a skirt today
19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?
I have no clue
20. Does anyone like you?
I hope
21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?
no
22. Is the last person you kissed gay?
Probably not
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
Not really
24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
I want a few
25. In the past week have you cried?
no
26. What breed was the last dog you saw?
I see so many dogs, I can’t keep them straight
27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
outside
28. Have you ever kissed a football player?
No
29. Do you think you’re old?
no
30. Do you like text messaging?
YES
31. What type of day are you having?
good
32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
I think it would be painful. Also stupid.
33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
I hate cold
34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
Yes
35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?
I honestly don’t know
36. Are you a simple or complicated person?
Is this a trick question? People are complicated.
37. What song are you listening to?
I’m in between things right now
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?
Usually
39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
Ma best friend knows a lot
40. What made you start liking the person you like now?
silly fifth grade crush
41. When did you last receive a text message?
7;54
42. What is wrong with you right now?
TOO MUCH
43. How well do you know the last female you texted?
She’s my best friend
44. Does anyone disgust you?
No
45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?
Depends on who it is
46. Are you in a good mood right now?
I’m tired
47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?
My mom
48. What color shirt are you wearing?
I’m wearing a dress sooo... but its like purple-red color
49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?
I’m learning a bout WWII right now so yes
50. Anyone you’re giving up on?
Might soon
51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?
No, Its really hard for me to hate people
52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?
Kinda. I ended up giving up on them eventually though
53. Do you like rain?
Yes
54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?
Eh
55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
Yes
56. Do you like to cuddle?
PLEASE GIVE ME CUDDLES
57. Are you shy?
Yes
58. Do you get along with girls?
Only the weird ones (Like me)
59. Have you dated the person you texted last?
No. She’s straight.
60. What do you carry with you at all times?
Phone.
61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?
Yea.
62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?
Yep. done that.
63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?
Yep
64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?
Yea
65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?
No
66. How old are the last three people you kissed?
around my age so like 15/16?
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?
do my own.
68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?
Leopard
69. Do you have any stickers on your car?
Can’t even drive yet
70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?
I don't know famous people. Don’t ask me about famous people.
71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?
iPhone
72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?
Maybe when I was 7?
73. Do you like diet soda?
I don’t like soda.
74. What color are the walls in your room?
Purple!
75. Are you 16 or older?
not yet
76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?
nope
77. Do you have a job?
nope
78. What are your initials?
HMY
79. Did you ever have braces?
Going to soon
80. Are you from the south?
nope
81. What does your last status on facebook say?
Its this
82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?
kinda
83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?
Mom
84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?
nope
85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?
Moana
86. Do you smoke?
No
87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?
Depends on if I wore heels the day before... Who am I kidding? HEELS!
88. Is your phone touch screen?
Yes
89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?
It’s usually just a mess. A mostly straight mess, but a mess.
90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?
Kinda.
91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?
They’re all nice
92. Have you ever made out in a car?
nope
93. …Had sex in a car?
nope
94. Are you single or in a relationship?
Taken, kinda
95. What were you doing last night at midnight?
I think I was sleeping
96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks
4th of July
97. Do you like the camera on your phone?
Eh.
98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?
No
99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?
No
100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?
nope
101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?
HAHA no
102. Name your favorite Kesha song:
I don’t like her
103. Do you have any tan lines right now?
no. Ive barely been outside in months
104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?
I’ve never worn cowboy boots so I don't know
I ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONSYAY
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All of the questions o.o
DAMMIT AMBER >_>
lmao jk i dont mind.
Here we go lol
1. Youwoke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?
this is really awkward lol
2. What’sgoing on between you and the last person you kissed?
We’re dating
3. Ifyour boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?
Yes, only because we both know people that struggle with addiction and its heartbreaking
4. Isyour last name longer than six letters?No it is exactly 6 lol
5. Wasyour last kiss drunk or sober?
Sober
6. Haveyou ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?I suppose so lol at the time i wanted him, but it was a mutual fucking up. looking back, im glad it didnt work out
7. Whatdoes your last received text say?“Just her email address is okay, but if she want to be in the group, add her! :)”-My cousin
8. Howmany times have you kissed the last person you kissed?
uh a lot idfk lmao
9. Wherewas your last kiss at?
by the door
10. Whenis the last time you saw your sister?
i dont have one
11. Whatdo you drink in the morning?
coffee or milk
12. Wheredid you sleep last night?
my bed lol
13. Doyou think relationships are hard?
Definitely. They’re not “hard” but all relationships, both romantic and platonic, have their own little quirks and struggles that make them challenging
14. Ifyou could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?
yes
15.You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
no lmao why so many kissing questions
16. Wouldyou rather it be sunny or rainy?
rainy. i love rain.
17. Doyou know anyone with the same middle name as you?
Yes. I thought Rae was so unique and then i met like four other people with it and i was like bruh
18. Areyou wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?
leggingggsssssss my dude
19. Doyou think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?
i hope so? idk
20. Doesanyone like you?
i mean i sure hope so because ive only been dating him for 5 years lol
21. Haveyou ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?
no
22. Isthe last person you kissed gay?
lmao one more kissing question and i swear to god.
no
23. Isthere a person you CANNOT stand?
YEAH BUDDY
24. Haveyou ever considered getting a tattoo?
yes several
25. Inthe past week have you cried?
lol only like twice a day
26. Whatbreed was the last dog you saw?
pitbull
27. Doyou dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
tf. wherever i please lol i dont pay attention
28. Haveyou ever kissed a football player?
i quit.
yes.
29. Doyou think you’re old?
yes…..lol esp when half of the people in groups im in on the internet are like 15
30. Doyou like text messaging?
more than talking, yes.
31. Whattype of day are you having?
pretty alright
32. Haveyou ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
already do lmao
33. Doyou prefer warm or cold weather?
cold like my soul
34. Isthere a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
yes lmao several
35. Wouldyou prefer a relationship or a fling?
relationship
36. Areyou a simple or complicated person?
im pretty complicated lol
37. Whatsong are you listening to?
none at the moment
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?
always39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
yes there is!40. What made you start liking the person you like now?
I thought he was funny. Turns out he was a giant trouble maker and not funny at all but that’s okay because i love him (hi dan im sure you’re reading this)41. When did you last receive a text message?
last night i think42. What is wrong with you right now?
I dont think this is enough room to speak of it lol
43. How well do you know the last female you texted?
fairly well. shes my oldest cousin so44. Does anyone disgust you?didnt we go over this one
45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?no46. Are you in a good mood right now?no47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?My classmate Sarah48. What color shirt are you wearing?Red49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?yeah50. Anyone you’re giving up on?No51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?no lol hes a pain in my butt but hes a good person
52. Haveyou ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?Oh yes53. Do you like rain? Love it54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?No because 95% of the time we’re drinking together55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Yeah lol 56. Do you like to cuddle?Not really. I get claustrophobic57. Are you shy? Hell yeah i am58. Do you get along with girls?For the most part59. Have you dated the person you texted last? no lol 60. What do you carry with you at all times? my phone, lipstick, a tervis cup (i have over 65 of them and i just love variety so)61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed hauntedhouse, would you?no because i am a baby and would probably die 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?((my longest yeah boi ever)) 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Yes.64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?Yes, but again whY SO MANY KISSING QUESTIONS65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?
Yes, my niece got her first pictures taken :)
66. Howold are the last three people you kissed?uhm. Dan is 23. Tyler 1 is 21, Tyler 2 is 21 too i think?
67. Wouldyou rather pay to get your nails done or do themyourself? myself. 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopardprint? Leopard69. Do you have any stickers on your car? yes, several
70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? Luke Bryan. 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? Android72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? uhhhhhh73. Do you like diet soda? only diet mountain dew but i gave up pop for lent so i cant drink it lol74. What color are the walls in your room? lime green75. Are you 16 or older? yes i am twenty one76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? nope77. Do you have a job? I sure do78. What are your initials? ARJ79. Did you ever have braces? Yes lmao oh good lord i had them for like 4 years80. Are you from the south?
no
81. Whatdoes your last status on facebook say? uhmmm good question. let me check
Two sweatshirts, heat on, standing in the sun and i am still freezing -_-82. Do you still talk to the first person you everkissed? No lmao fuck that guy83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? momma84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? no85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Deadpool!86. Do you smoke? No i do not87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Well considering i cannot walk in high heels, probably flops88. Is your phone touch screen? yeppppp89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? homeless90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? no i am good child91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool. I hate rivers and lakes because there are fish and its deep and just no92. Have you ever made out in a car? yeah93. …Had sex in a car? no because first of all ow?94. Are you single or in a relationship? relationsheep95. What were you doing last night at midnight? lmao having a panic attack because my computer froze at 1:58 and i had to submit a paper by 11:59..96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? hmmm,…..Snowfest97. Do you like the camera on your phone? ‘tsnot bad98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Yes and it was a terrible decision dont99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? no lol 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actuallyhate? yes hahaha101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? yes102. Name your favorite Kesha song: I FUCKING LOVE THE HAROLD SONG DONT GET ME STARTED103. Do you have any tan lines right now? no im pale104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?
yes, i frequently do.
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Whoa! Did you see Kulap Kitsuwon, the maknae and rapper of Rebels? He’s 17 years old and looks a lot like Kunpimook Bhuwakhul (BamBam). I look forward to seeing more of his work in the near future.
( tw: death, abandonment, neglect )
i.
friday, august the thirteenth of nineteen ninety-nine, kulap kitsuwon is born to may kitsuwon. not only is the boy without his father, a baby born from a drunken night in the bangkok club scene, but his mother cries out about how he’s a bad omen. born on an unlucky day, he must be cursed. he will be cursed and so will she for having a baby like him.
she doesn’t wait long after she’s released from the hospital to go to her parent’s home, sitting down with them for a meal. but, ulterior motives show quickly and kulap is left to cry from his mother’s arms, his screams no match for mother and daughter.
the yelling lasts so long, until nattapong—already old and crumpling, even grandpa’s wheelchair feels worn—reaches for kulap, taking him out of his daughter’s arms to soothe his cries.
farung never wanted to take care of children after may moved away, busy watching over her husband and his growing weakness. but, the baby doesn’t deserve being left, and certainly he’s taken a liking to her husband.
ii.
farung watches him, it seems as if walking had only begun yesterday, yet, here he was in front of the television as he attempts to copy the group on screen. his little feet stumble over the moves, but she’s surprised to find that he matches them well. but, more than anything, she favors the smile that’s grown on his face, laughs roaring out into the living room before he tumbles over only to get back up again. it’s rare they can afford toys for him, only a bear and an elephant stuffed toy sit in his room, but he looks happy putting on a show with the boy group on screen, happier than any toy could make him.
iii.
kulap is named so accordingly to his personality, his grandparents have always joked. a beautiful flower ready to bloom with a mind like spring, but with thorns that displayed themselves only when you touched.
it’s not very often that he acts out, but when does it’s always such a big headache. he rarely cries, so when his tantrums come they always seem worse than they really are. farung isn’t expecting him to scream and throw the cup he was holding to the floor, tears falling as he yells.
it’s about nail polish this time, seeing his grandmother paint her own, he’d started asking for his own nails to be painted. kulap is older now, they’ve let him play with tea sets and all his mother’s old toys. but, the new neighbors have input their opinion on him out: little boys shouldn’t only play with girls’ toys.
and so she had tried to take away his princess cups and the only left the toy cars his uncle once played with. but, with all of his favorite toys being taken away he’d only started shedding tears and it seemed the nail polish was his final straw.
it’s not even farung who finally gives into the tears, but instead nattapong who calls him over saying he can paint his nails if he wants to.
kulap helps pull his toys back out of the closet with blue nails.
iv.
school is hard and kids are mean. the girls think he has cooties and the boys don’t like to play the same games he likes. he doesn’t have many friends at all, instead he talks to the teacher during recess when she lets him. when he comes home, he watches the kids in his neighborhood play from the window while grandmother grocery shops and grandfather sleeps. he’s fine with grandmother being his best friend though, she watches him dance and sing and he’s happy with that.
v.
the wheels on his grandfather’s wheelchair squeak as he pushes him into the room. he has to wear black, his least favorite color to wear. he and grandmother always liked pinks and yellows and blues, never the dark browns or blacks grandfather had. they had to buy him new clothes for this.
he’s not fully aware of what is going on, but when he goes on his tiptoes he can see her, laid under a white sheet for everyone to see. people who visit the house are there and they keep saying sorry to him which makes him more confused.
some understanding washes over him when he approaches her, water for the ritual in hand. she’s not her, and it makes kulap scream as he drops the water, the room quiets.
the word death is introduced to him in a new way, it had no meaning before. but he understands now. farung had left him like his real mother had. he doesn’t stop crying for a while, his grandfather’s hand on his back trying to soothe him.
vi.
bank is his next door neighbor. two years older and everything kulap isn’t: popular, boyish, tall. he gets to play outside instead of cook and clean after his grandfather. he plays sports in his backyard with other boys.
mostly, though, he’s a bully. when he has to help kulap on his homework because his parents make him, he instead looks through kulap’s things, makes fun of the toys or the nail polish or the way he doesn’t have the same things that bank has. bank says things that kulap doesn’t understand, teases him for being so small. kulap has a crush on him.
vii.
when his grandfather is at the doctor, kulap can play in the backyard instead of cooking after school. on one of those days, he meets a puppy. it’s stray with no collar, and grandfather had always told him not to play with stray animals, but it licks his face, he deems the brown fur cocoa, playing with him until the dirt is all over his own clothes and the puppy squeezes through the fence again.
viii.
it’s only a month later when bank holds his hand, taking him through the woods. he’s not allowed to go into the woods, but when their hands close together he ignores all his rules, not wanting to pull back from the contact.
bank takes him to cocoa, red in the brown fur and lifeless.
when they go back home and kulap tells grandfather what happened, grandfather yells at bank’s parents and bank is angry with him for telling. but, grandfather soothes his tears about cocoa with a toy bunny, ‘year of the rabbit, kitsu.’ he teases, but kulap is happy with his new friend, milo.
ix.
it was once said that the end of the world begins with rain. kulap seconds the saying, downpour so hard his walk home hurts without an umbrella, and the thunder feels as though it’s shaking the world. he should have brought his rain boots and umbrella, rainy season is always bad. but he had rushed out, and now he knows he’ll be in trouble for soaking his clothes. even if in the end he will be the one to wash them, grandfather always gets mad.
he toes off his shoes at the door, going to his room to change into clean and dry clothes—grandfather will be more angry if he gets sick— before he makes his way to grandfather’s room only to find the room empty. kulap rakes his mind of appointments or meetings with his uncle tao that could have been today, but he can’t think of any that might be soon, let alone today.
he checks every room until he comes to head with the bathroom. kulap screams, fear taking over his body at the sight of blood again, his grandfather on the floor. he doesn’t know how long it is before bank’s mom comes into the house, asking what’s wrong until she sees what has him screaming.
x.
things are confusing for a while. he sleeps over at bank’s house for a week, and no one really tells him anything. things are quiet and almost normal with the family, but kulap has nightmares and just wants his grandfather, or answers. answers would make him feel so much better. instead of answers, a man he’s never seen before picks him up that weekend. they stop at his school and according to the man—someone had told him he was his stepfather, though he’s still wary—they take him out if school because they live too far for him to keep going to his school.
the train they ride takes forever, he even sleeps on the train. but finally, the man takes him to a house and he doesn’t have to ask who the woman is. he’s seen pictures of her all around the house, and his grandparents never kept the secret that they were his grandparents and not his parents.
kulap had thought their reunion would be big, that he would immediately relate to her. instead, he doesn’t feel anything looking at her. there is a basic instinct he recognizes, but beyond that nothing registers her as his mother.
he doesn’t doubt she feels the same. she greets her new kids with warm eyes, but the cold stare at him is unwelcoming.
xi.
they don’t have an extra room, instead they add a mattress into the laundry room.
they don’t enroll him into school with his half-siblings.
they don’t give him attention.
they don’t care.
xii.
he gets the idea to audition when they are in town and a company is holding open auditions. he’s seen the groups on his television for years, the only reason he has ever been able to dance and sing along was by watching them on the television and mimicking. he tells his mom, and her only reaction is to laugh. she says yes though, thinking she’s playing into whatever fantasy he has.
kulap wonders if she anticipates him sneaking computer time to look up performances, practicing until he can hear someone on their way home. he finds out ace entertainment is holding auditions in bangkok in three months, and after his mother’s promise to let him audition, he goes.
xiii.
school couldn’t compare to the fear that the ace trainee building puts into him. the language barrier is enough to set him apart from the others. he doesn’t know how to talk in general either, years of isolation limit his social ability. he’s not sure what’s appropriate and what’s not, especially with the culture shock.
xiv.
in the mix of classes to catch him up school wise and to teach him korean, he finds himself with words being thrown at him by one of the older trainees. he’s always just taken what bank and the others at school dealt out to him, but another boy comes out from nowhere, telling the trainees to stop. kulap almost cries when he realizes a fight is threatening to start in front of him, but he’s left alone.
it’s not that he means to do anything weird, he really does try to avoid doing anything questionable. but, he ends up following after the other trainee when he wasn’t focusing on his own training. whatever he does, kulap has his full attention on it. for a while, watching from afar is his only form of friendship.
xv.
older people, debuted idols and staff members, all take to kulap. baby faced and puppy dog eyes. friendships with them pile up, and then trainees befriend him. his circle of two grows into more friends than he’s ever had.
he’s happy. he’s always craved attention and love, and he’s being showered in it by his new friends. he really doesn’t believe happiness could bypass this.
debut comes fast, but the staff members he’s spent three years taking lessons from say he’s perfect. the token cute maknae for a group of boys that differed from his image. in his mind, it’s perfect.
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Wait wait forget that last one! All letters for Anakin and Rayne! Because I have heard very little on your headcanons about her
Okay so Rayne and Anakin.. here you goI feel by I got to Anakin I was rather tired and I didn't get to write as well as I could have maybe ill come back and add to his later. but I'm proud of Rayne’s
RayneA = Aftercare (What the are like after sex):Depends on who she is with. If Rayne was to hook up with someone she didnt have a emotional connection with it would be quick and dirty. she would be. dry and sarcastic with them and ultimately leave them quickly after sex. Likely she wouldnt have even given the other person her name. Rayne in my opinion though sensual isnt overly sexual however because of mother being a rape victim. So there is a bit of a stigma there. I dont feel she would be prone wo giving much after care to those she slept with if she didnt feel much for them. However IF she had a emotional connection with them I feel things would be entirely different. I feel her feelings about the other persons experiences would be paramount. She would want to make sure her lover was satiated by the encounter. Say she is with Mynce. Who to me is who I wish was her endgame ship. (alas) Id say after sex, it would be intense between the dhampires . I think Rayne would be for once herself satiated. Lazy and calm, Probably finding some sort of resting state after the act. Especially if it was rather rough sex Which isnt unlikely as the two women have a rather sparring based relationship..ive been ranting but I hope I answered this somewhat okayB = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partners) I think Raynes favorite body part?.Her breasts.. I mean they are pretty great in that latex top and they did get her into that issue of playboy. Sorry I had to make that joke. ..but no . But in her true appreciation of herself? her natural eyes before the eye of beliar incident when one turned red When her eyes both green/her one green eye. She loves her eye color. It makes her think of her humanity and there is just something she likes about that, it makes her think of her mother and what she could have been like.What does Rayne like a lot about Mynce im going with Mynce okay) Rayne loves Mynce’s legs. there is something about seeing them in those thigh leather boots. Rayne always loved the way they looked on herC = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically im a disgusting person)Oh man, this question.. what do I say.. I feel like people wont like my Rayne headcanon on this for MY Rayne everyone makes her hypersexual in fic and art . but I have never seen her that way as the daughter of a act of rape ..I see her as very traumatized ..yes I will keep bringing this up so as I saidso eh, this question. Rayne doesnt like the taste of it. if we are talking about male cum She would definitely be a spitter I feel. sorry guys. (I just trashed all your dreams male followers)
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)Rayne is a secret gun/knife play fetishist . but is the much of a secret. She does carry quite the arsenal with her everywhere. Rayne also in the past has made extra cash on the side as a online dominatrix. Its all too easy for her to be mean to people online. after all she holds pretty much everyone in contemptE = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing?)Rayne is moderately experienced, people like to act like she has been more then around the block because of her good looks but she has her reserved nature in her own way because of her past. Still she isnt a virgin eitherF = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual). Rayne likes to be on top and in control if she is being penetrated by someone. (I word this this way because , strap ons are a thing. it dosnt have to be a guy . I mean it can be but you know ) if she is ˜giving Rayne is literally and figuratively pretty flexible and willing to adapt to most positions but she likes seeing the other persons face if she loves them and dosnt want to see the other persons face at all if she dosnt.G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)Rayne has a sarcastic dry wit that follows her into the bedroom, she is sly and seductive but if you can crack her seductive charm you might find a slightly awkward goofy girl who is just trying to push everyone else away with her snark. few people can ˜cure her of her dry wit. maybe a good orgasm from her true love would do that hahaH = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) Ah the important question. is it crimson red? is there any? Rayne isnt bushy down there but she trims it, she likes the crimson color that matches her hair. its too striking a color to shave all off.I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect) Rayne is not usually openly romantic, but for someone very special? she would make sure her appreciation was known. Actually I feel if she was feeling romantic she would be awkward. possibly blushy for a undead and shifty eyed. she probably would struggle to speak up he feelings .. maybe she would snuggle up to her lover while trying to get her wishes across.J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) I think Rayne is prone to getting off rather often, her job is stressful. she needs the outlet. and needs something other then murder for release. not that murder isnt a release for her. lets be honest. is it. but She goes ˜home throws her blades down and slides her latex off. Slides back on her bed and goes to town. Rayne also likes fingering herself a lot but she has to be careful.. them fingernails.K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) besides what I said? well clearly latex and I think dirty talk.. Rayne can have a mouth on her. also blood? blood should be obviousL = Location (Favourite places to do the do) On the battlefield dosnt count? In a enemy bunker has been a thing once when Mynce was undercover as a Nazi officer and Rayne had just been reunited with her M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) A sexy voice, a good fitting uniform. a sharp blade and a lovers touchN = NO (Something they wouldnt do, turn offs) rape play, EVER submit to someone she didnt absolutely didnt love and trust O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) I think she is quite skilled. I like to think vampires would tend to be, but I tell you Rayne is a messy eater in general. she is bound to make a mess in this too. and she loved both giving and receiving again if she likes the other person, if not its all receiving P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)I think she is a mix of both honestly. she can start teasingly slow and sensual and build up to fast and rough. perhaps ending with a slow soothing aftercareQ = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)Its a quickie usually, but with Mynce, she will make time for the proper deal.R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.).. I think she is more of a risk taker but at the same time she has her boundaries.S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last) many rounds if she wants, she has vampiric reflexes after all. so yeah , much stamina.T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) all the toys now a days, in WWII not as much but now , she has a whole kinky closetful, has to pass time some how. She likes to show them to her partners and see their shocked faces. “What’ you expect baby? you saw the latex”U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Oh it’ all teasing with Rayne. she loves a good teasesV = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make). Rayne “oozes” out sound. she moans , not screams .W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) Rayne has quite the lingerie collection. she has been given a lot of it be would be suitors or for weird infiltration missions. Rayne wears them around the house actually. Just for kicks.X = X-Ray (Lets see whats going on in those pants, picture or words) Well I dont have a picture for you, but she certainly doesnt look bad? its hard for me to describe it to you . I feel this is more geared to male characters.. ehY = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Moderate to rather high , I feelZ = ZZZ ( how quickly they fall asleep afterwards. Rayne falls asleep quickly after sex if she is with Mynce, if she is with someone else she is too busy getting herself home or kicking the other person out of her house.and on to the next one .Anakin
A = Aftercare (What theyre like after sex) content cuddly, holds the other person after sex
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partners) His favorite part of his body his chest, he would like to think he looks alright. as for his partner. he likes his partners stomach ¦its very soft and smooth lol
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically im a disgusting person) Well when he does, there is a lot of it. that midichlorian count lol he makes a messD = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) Anakin is into that asphyxia you guys, like real bad you guys. I mean have you seen Vader?E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing?) Not super experienced, but makes up for it in earnest with a desire to please. F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual) Any position where he can look into his lovers eyes, see their face. speak to them. perhaps holding them up if the’ll let himG = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) I think it depends. Prefall. humorous.”Vaderkin” serious H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) Its the weird tawny blonde brown and no its not shavedI = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect) Oh he is actuall sap machine, the most overly lovey romantic and tries to make the bond known between the two of you .. depending on who is love is .. but lets go with Padme in this situation .. so yeah.. actual awkward sap machine.J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) he has to use his left hand because his right hand is his durasteel/gloved hand. and it would chafe or be cold and unfeeling robot arm lol. so yeah he would rather use the flesh hand and pretend it is someone elseK = Kink (One or more of their kinks) praise kink, breath play, power playL = Location (Favourite places to do the do) oddly enough in public. he really wanted to do it in that meadow on naboo with Padme. just to claim her and have the world know they belonged to each other.M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) Passion, intensity, sparring both in battle and in wit N = NO (Something they wouldnt do, turn offs) Anything that would actively harm or demean someone he loved in a way they didnt want.O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Loves receiving and giving , skill? not super skilled as far as how many partners he has been with but makes up for the fact that he is dedicated to making his lover feel good. P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.). He likes slow and sensual and tries for it but he cant always control himself and falls into his natural pace which is fast and rough.Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.). he likes quickies. I think he finds them fun. though proper sex is preferred he is used to quickies what with missions and senate meetings.R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) take risks all the way. he is that way in normal life , I feel though hed be a bit nervous about it in sex .. he would still take risks in this as wellS = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last) He actually has a lot stamina, Jedi abilities and all , he could probabaly go more rounds then the average guy if he really tried. T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) sadly no, lacking them possessionsU = Unfair (how much they like to tease) As much as he would say other wise he is all teasing and chiding.V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) he is actually quite audible. Id say he almost makes a sound akin to a whine at times and I HATE using that term because its ANAKIN and we cant say that aaaagh WHINY AND ANAKIN ..OMG NO I DONT EVEN WANT TO RELATE ITW = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)X = X-Ray (Lets see whats going on in those pants, picture or words) I dont want to be cliche but I honestly dontt headcanon him as âs˜small then again ive seen a certain fanart and he isnt that large as that either, its realistically largeY = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Moderate-high. he has trained himself not to be too distracted by such things but still the distract him often enoughZ = ZZZ ( how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) It takes some time for him to fall asleep. He spends his time, thinking about what just transpired, looking at his lover. Finding a reprieve from his negative thoughts. he “pets” them, running a hand through their hair, slowly letting himself drift to sleep
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<<EXCERPT>>
Wednesday 29th, November 2017
If there was something El Ives put her mind to, she was sure to accomplish it. Always.
Well, most of the times.
As a matter of fact, today was one of the few rare exceptions to that rule. This, since Will Byers, El’s best friend, had managed to convince the otherwise socially awkward El to finally come with him that weekend to some party at a friend’s house.
They were both currently seating on the beige colored carpet of her dorm room, supposedly trying to be productive by getting their History 102 assignment done before the due date.
“Pleeease El! I’m about to beg you, it’s almost Christmas break and, for once, I’d like for you to come meet my friends and not stay locked up here again like a loser”, Will had been pouting at his friend for over two hours.
“Hey, I happen to like being a loser”, said El feigning indignation and scowling at her skinny best friend.
Will managed to hold back his smile at his oldest friend’s antics and maintained a serious expression for the sake of getting his point across. They’d been friends since the age of twelve and both knew just how determined the other could be. Holding each other’s stares defiantly in a silent challenge, neither of them wanted to give in.
As she stubbornly stared into Will’s lively brown eyes, El suddenly felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her. She had been having a few of those for a while now, especially whenever she thought back on their high school days on Hawkins High School. Actually, the biggest irony was thinking about how much she had looked forward to graduating and moving as far away as humanly possible from that hell hole she called hometown. Whereas, now, she couldn’t help feeling strangely homesick. As a matter of fact, lately, El was often ambushed by random flashbacks from her teenage years and usually found herself wishing she could somehow go back and do it all better.
She regretted everything, actually, except for her friendship with Will.
Their friendship was yet another reason El kept thinking back in nostalgia to her high school days: even though Will and her had managed to get accepted into their dream college together and even lived in neighboring dorm buildings, she felt him more distant than ever before. Worse than that, El was painfully aware that she was the reason of the increasing (figurative) distance in their friendship and she loathed herself for it. Now, more than ever, she hated herself for her apathetic and awkward personality. Why couldn’t she be a normal eighteen year old? Why couldn’t she just stop feeling so nervous around other people? Because of this she was finally managing to drive her best friend away, her partner in crime, after being the closest of friends for over half a decade.
For most of their first semester at college she had declined Will’s enthusiastic invitations to parties and any social events, preferring to skip them in favor of spending her afternoons in the solitude of her room either reading ahead or watching some movie or TV show. It was just easier that way, it seemed. El had never really been a social butterfly and she knew how much Will loved meeting and bonding with new people. So, she just figured that she could give him some space by making herself scarce.
However (and she’d never admit it out loud), as Will started spending less and less time with her and his invitations became rare occurrences, El began feeling terribly lonely (which was weird). She usually cherished her alone time, often glad she wasn’t out there fake smiling and making small talk, getting emotionally drained after overthinking and worrying over every tiny detail of her social interactions. Nonetheless, now, it just felt like a very different kind of loneliness.
El felt lonely in a bad way, a way she hadn’t felt for quite a long time: the kind of lonely she used to feel before meeting Joyce Byers and befriending her son, Will.
Finally, after glaring at Will some more, El lowered her gaze in defeat. Mostly because she missed spending more time with him, and also because she was a bit curious about going to a college party.
“Ok. Fine, I’ll go. BUT I’ll only stay until a reasonable hour and you better not be dragging me up there so I can be your designated driver”, answered El with an annoyed huff, hurling one of her fluffy pillows on Will’s general direction and feeling quite annoyed (mostly at her pathetic, abnormal self).
Her friend easily managed to catch the pillow midair and offered El a sympathetic smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. She knew he was worried about her spending so much time by herself – the fact that she had no roommate made it easier for her to just hide away for hours on end without any excuse.
“I’m only doing this for your own good El, you know I look out for you and it’s about time you start having a normal college experience and, you know, getting to know people. After all, the semester is almost over”.
--….--…--…---
Friday 1st, December 2017
El bit her lip as she stared at her reflection on the mirror critically. Was her top too revealing? Was her midsection looking gross and bloated? Should she put any make up on? Was her hair ok? Were jeans and sneakers too casual for the party?
Man, I badly needed a School of Life 101 crash course, El thought with a groan.
It was always on times like this that El really wished she had a roommate or a best friend who could actually give advice on these kinds of things. It was also on times like these that El regretted not learning about this stuff back on high school. Finally, after examining her reflection some more, she decided to change her sneakers in favor of her black leather boots and apply some lipstick to her dry lips.
Feeling quite nervous, she turned her phone screen on and was surprised to see several messages from Will.
8:02 pm U excited yet for your first college party?
8:03 pm Totally getting drunk as skunks 2nite.
8:46 pm Waiting for the guys, we’re coming to pick u up
9:29 pm On our way, expect a call in 15
9:44 pm Almost there
9:59 pm Ok, let’s go
*3 missed calls from MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD*
10:03 pm Pick up the phone
10:11 pm We’re waiting downstairs
10:27 pm What the hell u doing? We’ve been here for ages
El was surprised to find out how long she had taken to get ready, her nervousness was really not helping. As quickly as possible, she grabbed her tiny purse and keys and made her way out. At that very moment, her phone screen lit up and the contact name Will had programmed for himself popped up.
*incoming call from MY FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WORLD*
Smiling, El answered.
“I’m sorry, I completely lost track of time, that’s all. I’m almost there”, she said breathlessly while making her way down the flight of stairs.
“No problem El, just making sure you were still up for it”, answered Will sympathetically.
“Wait. So did I actually have an option?” replied El only half joking.
She really was terribly nervous, like she always was whenever she had to face a new social situation.
Will laughed at her lame attempt at making a joke and was silent for a bit, maybe trying to empathize with his best friend’s nervousness.
El could hear Will’s friends talking loudly on the background:
“We need to hurry if we want to get wasted before the night ends, that’s kind of the point of tonight”, a loud male voice whined pathetically.
“Hey, I’m actually enjoying watching this show”, another male voice answered in fake annoyance.
“Booooooring”, someone else interjected.
“You’re too lame Wheeler”, the first voice teased.
The conversation on the background grew faint as El realized Will must have walked away from his friends to talk to her privately.
“Everything will be fine and you’ll have fun, you’ll see. If you feel uncomfortable or something you have us”, finally whispered Will before hanging up.
El had really tried to avoid meeting Will’s friends for a while now, feeling resentment and jealousy towards them because her best friend spent most of his time with them now and talked all the time about how fun and loyal they were.
It actually made sense that they spent time together since they were all taking science related careers and had most of their classes together – Will was an engineer major, like Lucas, while Dustin and Mike were physics majors.
It was silly, she knew.
Calm down El, it’s going to be ok, Will’s friends are probably as nice as him.
Finally, El got to her building’s common area. She saw four guys sprawled comfortably all over the beige couches, two of them were fighting over the remote and the other two were trying to watch whatever show was on TV.
They didn’t notice her presence until she started timidly approaching Will, who was gazing at the screen with mild interest. He was the first one of the group to notice her and his face was instantly filled with a broad smile.
“You’re finally here!” he exclaimed, startling everyone.
“Guys, this is El”, Will said loudly. Then, pointing at each of the guys next to him, he introduced them, “These are Lucas, Dustin and Mike”.
“Thanks for waiting”, El managed to smile at them without making eye contact. She hoped they didn’t notice her nervousness.
“No problem”, said the smallest one of them, Dustin, “honestly, we were all dying to finally meet you”.
“Yeah, we had a bet going on about Will’s friend being imaginary”, laughed Lucas.
Upon hearing that last comment, El snorted while trying to contain a laugh and turned to look at Will with amusement. Her friend merely shrugged.
“See how you make me look bad El?”
“Oh, it was only for the sake of making the bet more interesting”, answered El with a laugh, “it would have been no fun without the mystery, now would it?”
The guys smiled, amused, and the air significantly relaxed. She felt a tiny bit more comfortable, and the voice in her head repeating her own doubts and fears in a loop grew quiet for the first time that night.
“So, who won the bet?” asked Will, looking at his friends.
“Me”, said the tallest boy, Mike, smiling.
He was the only one who hadn’t spoken up yet, but she recognized his voice from her phone call with Will – he was the one who claimed to be enjoying the TV show while they waited for her to arrive.
Overcome by curiosity, El risked a glance up at him and was surprised to find him already looking at her, matching her interest. They made eye contact.
“So thank you for being real, I guess”, he said smiling kindly at her.
She quickly averted her gaze, not knowing what to do or how to respond, and tried to keep her upcoming blush from actually showing on her face. It wasn’t even a compliment, why was she reacting like this?
Social awkwardness truly sucked.
There was a short moment of silence, which was (thankfully) quickly broken by Lucas.
“Ok, let’s get going”, said Lucas enthusiastically as he strode to the nearest exit.
--….--…--…---
#mileven fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#fanfiction#fandom#st fanfiction#stranger things#prompt#story prompt#mileven fluff#mileven#mileven forever#stranger things angst#au#alternate universe#au fanfiction#college au#angst#ao3#ao3feed#ao3 update#eleven and mike#mike and eleven#mike wheeler#eleven#feels#jane ives#jane hopper#will byers#lucas sinclair#max mayfield
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1-104 d:
going to compress this for the people on mobile
1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?
“how in the world did i end up in texas? also what’s good you hungry?” @littytittymanda
2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
we haven’t talked too much recently, she’s busy with school as am i
3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?
depends on the drug, and depends on how it affects them. but i care about them regardless so yes.
4. Is your last name longer than six letters?
way too long yes
5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
sober
6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?
too many times
7. What does your last received text say?
“how evil” about this ask, also from @littytittymanda
8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?
a lot actually lol, good hundred or 2 at least
9. Where was your last kiss at?
in a car behind a sushi restaraunt
10. When is the last time you saw your sister?
when im an only child
11. What do you drink in the morning?
hella water, so much water
12. Where did you sleep last night?
in my bed
13. Do you think relationships are hard?
they dont have to be!
14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?
oh a few things, definitely. school wise, people wise, etc.
15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
not really, we would just talk about life
16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
rain! my favourite!!
17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
i dont think so? at least off the top of the dome
18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?
none ;D
19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?
i could see it
20. Does anyone like you?
seems like they do!
21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?
yes indeed, 2 people
22. Is the last person you kissed gay?
i dont think she is
23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
indeed! ugh, i wish it wasnt that way
24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
considered, yes, but unsure about the importance of it later in life
25. In the past week have you cried?
yes once
26. What breed was the last dog you saw?
MY CHIHUAHUA
27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
in the shower of course?? why would you do it out?
28. Have you ever kissed a football player?
if you count powderpuff games lmao, but no
29. Do you think you’re old?
not relatively but this is the oldest ive ever been so
30. Do you like text messaging?
yeah, its fun
31. What type of day are you having?
decent is the best word, nothing TOO big
32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
no, never!
33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
cold over warm is where i like to be, a mild 50 is perfect
34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
of course.
35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?
right now a fling because why not? but i definitely want a relationship in the future
36. Are you a simple or complicated person?
i would say simple on the outside, but complex at least to myself
37. What song are you listening to?
right now..nothing, but the commentary of the Raptors vs Bucks game
38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?
always. i hate being the cause of someone’s pain or anger.
39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
@say-tonic
40. What made you start liking the person you like now?
i like a lot of people, and they’re all great
41. When did you last receive a text message?
just this instant
42. What is wrong with you right now?
eh who knows
43. How well do you know the last female you texted?
decently? we only started talking a few weeks ago, so not much time but a good time
44. Does anyone disgust you?
LOL yes
45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?
no, not right now
46. Are you in a good mood right now?
id say so yes! (:
47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?
my buddy Chuck from work
48. What color shirt are you wearing?
im...not? there’s a pattern here
49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?
UH yeah, nothing too harsh though
50. Anyone you’re giving up on?
sadly. a friend that has given up on trying to be successful in life.
51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?
not at all.
52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?
YES YES THIS IS A MISTAKEWEED NEGATIVITY OUT
53. Do you like rain?
UH ITS MY FAV BRING ME THE RAIN DAY AND NIGHT EVERY DAY
54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?
not particularly, unless if becomes a problem
55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
AHAHAHA YES YES
56. Do you like to cuddle?
WHO DOESNT ARE YOU SERIOUS
57. Are you shy?
somewhat, more introverted but im a lot more open with people i feel comfortable with
58. Do you get along with girls?
id say so. i feel like i’m a very respectful person overall and that goes a long way
59. Have you dated the person you texted last?
nope lol
60. What do you carry with you at all times?
my phone and wallet and keys
61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?
i will spend a month in there give me a flashlight and some food
62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?
i CAN but will i? thats the question
63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?
no no
64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?
hella
65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?
not really from what i can remember! oh well lmao
66. How old are the last three people you kissed?
wow 3? gotta think about this one hmm.
22 / 24 / 22
67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?
shoot im paying, need an expert
68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?
both gaudy, but zebra
69. Do you have any stickers on your car?
i dont have my own car!!!!! :(
70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?
i hate country so by default lil wayne
71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?
ANDROID 5000
72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?
wow at least like..5/6 years ago. pizza hut is overrated
73. Do you like diet soda?
bad soda bad yuck
74. What color are the walls in your room?
beige
75. Are you 16 or older?
NAH SON IM 11
76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?
watched it once, was decent, dont think id watch again
77. Do you have a job?
heck yeah! get the money
78. What are your initials?
J D K
79. Did you ever have braces?
you said i got gum stuck in them all the time? heck yeah
80. Are you from the south?
no im from M I C H I G A N
81. What does your last status on facebook say?
“PC Gamers; what steam games do you reccommend?”
82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?
heck yeah! we’re cool (:
83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?
mom 100000 percent
84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?
gymnastics when i was just a BABY BOY
85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?
oh gosh uh..that would have to have been..not the current one, but the last Fast and Furious movie
86. Do you smoke?
not about it!
87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?
FLIP MY FLOP
88. Is your phone touch screen?
HECK YEAH I LOV IT
89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?
straight because it’s so damn shorty
90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?
almost impossible, i live on the second floor
91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?
POOLNEVER IN LAKE OR RIVERS I CANT NOPE
92. Have you ever made out in a car?
you betcha, it was pretty great
93. …Had sex in a car?
lol haven’t had sex
94. Are you single or in a relationship?
single
95. What were you doing last night at midnight?
talking to a friend and on here DUH
96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?
4th of july last year i think
97. Do you like the camera on your phone?
its pretty good! i take too many selfies to end up deleting them
98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?
kind of, yeah. an ex that was a best friend that becamne that, and then back to being good friends
99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?
LMAO no i’ve only drank twice
100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?
i dont think so? that’s pointless
101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?
L M A O NOPE I WOULDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO
102. Name your favorite Kesha song:
the acoustic version of Die Young
103. Do you have any tan lines right now?
hasn’t been sunny enough so no!
104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?
LMAO WHY NOT CALL ME THE SHERIFF
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