#and stan groups no matter what happens and it can make you think

[bandzboy]

I've been a stay for 6 years, I've seen all the bad and the good things, and skz have been a really important part of my life. With everything that was going on, I decided to take a break from skz until this whole lose my breath era was over. Now I wanted to come back for their new album, but it just doesn't feel the same anymore. It's been months yet nothing has changed, they haven't apologized or addressed any of the concerns, they are still working with zionists. Their lyrics seems so meaningless now, this is from their new song "Head above the clouds, stand tall for the hell of it. Tower over crowds, don't pause 'cause I'm lovin' it. Heavy and I'm proud, backbone never suffering". In the past I would loved this song, but now them saying this while being silent about a genocide and happily working with zionists, just feels wrong. I know that one person leaving won't change anything, but I don't think I can support them anymore. As much as it hurts, it's time to admit that they really don't stand for what they used to.

anon i'm honestly on the same boat as you and tbh your feelings are valid if you decide to unstan it's truly okay bc i get you! truly i've been following everything going on and it's insanely sad that so many stays have been trying their hardest to make them know but all we get is silence. it doesn't help that jype is also trying to silence people too but you know it just sucks because there's no way they haven't seen it at this point there's no way they don't know their fandom is so divided over this ever since the lmb release. i wanna believe they are good people but it just so crazy they keep being tied to zionists or hanging out with them and it feels like a slap in the face every time i am not gonna lie and unfortunately, they aren't the only group that is silent rn and it truly makes me question all the people i stan at the moment and what their intentions are... like i truly sit here and think to myself what the really reality is! i can't be excited about things anymore because of how everything is looking rn. i knew i wasn't gonna tune in for this next skz comeback when the lmb fiasco happened because unfortunately it tainted everything for me and it's sad! i don't know what i'll exactly do either but since i'm so dead set on making things right and to keep pushing it i am sticking around for that because my interest in kpop is kinda slowly going away and it's sad. even tho i want idols to have better working rights and it's something that i will always bring up and, i'm very passionate about you could say, it's hard for me to stay knowing that these people are so comfortable being silent and it hurts to know this was probably the plan all along. the way when people started to bring up celebrities speaking up, people were already not including kpop idols with everyone else like... the group of people that should speak up and i think that was the moment that i realized how wrong everything is like how we expect them to essentially do nothing and not gaf about anything and that's messed up ESPECIALLY coming from groups like skz that have lyrics that are very much about rebellion and fighting back oppressive things and so on and it makes you really think that yeah maybe this whole shit was just a concept to them and they don't bring that into their real life. it just sucks atp i'm just venting i could go on because i have SO MUCH TO SAY i'm just now realizing i've been bottling this all up almost but yeah all of this to say that i truly truly get it and just know you aren't alone when it comes to feeling like this towards groups you stan because it's happening to a lot of people atm

[revelboo]

May I request a Senator Shockwave fic or oneshot? I ask on behalf of the committee of Senator Shockwave Stan’s (it’s just me.)

Hey, I love the poor, doomed guy, too

The Worst Is Yet To Come

Senator Shockwave x Reader

• For a moment, you can’t breathe, can’t move. Staring at the portal as it crackles with energy and the siren screams. And somehow you’re not even surprised, a fatalistic part of you just knowing things would go sideways somehow. Can feel the portal pulling at you, your booted feet sliding. See a team mate struggling, falling and they go sliding through, just gone. Heart racing when their steel tether just snaps like a string and recoils. See it coming, but still can’t move as it cracks against your helmet and then you’re down. Sliding through the gate, too.

• “We can’t afford to be so short sighted, Proteus.” Spreading his hands, Shockwave frowns as the other Senator vents tiredly. Dismissing him again. “I’ve run multiple scenarios based on the current population growth and it’s a matter of when, not if. Cybertron doesn’t have the resources to sustain the population.” How many times has he tried to warn them all? Knows they think he’s too emotional, not serious enough for his station, but this matters. Even if no one will listen.

• “You worry too much,” Proteus says, shaking his head at him. Like he pities him. “You’re a Senator. Act like one, not some fanatical rabble rouser.” Watches the other bot sedately lift a hand to greet another senator in passing. “Trust in the Prime and stop looking for problems that don’t exist.” This problem does exist, though and it’s coming for all of them. He’s heard rumblings and rumors. About rations being cut to the lower castes. About a fringe group called the functionists starting to gain traction, that they have a Senator backing them.

• Hitting the ground and bouncing, you slide before thumping against a wall. And everything hurts, brain a muddled mess as you just stare at the crack in your helmet and try to figure out what happened. Where you are. Arms shaking and weak when you push yourself up, you stagger upright. Turning in an unsteady circle realizing the gate is gone. That you’re stuck wherever this is as your heart begins to race. Moving slowly as the frantic sound of your own breathing feels your ears, you’re aware of the scale of the place you’re in. A building when you’re almost sure you remembered the scientists saying the portal opened up on some jungle. Rounding a corner, you freeze when you spot the two giant metal monsters. And they turn suddenly to make you realize the sound you hear is your own hysterical screaming.

• ‘What is that?’ Proteus growls, backing away as the tiny creature screeches at them, the sound abruptly cutting off, before it just turns and runs back the way it came. And Shockwave is chasing after it without even thinking. Scientific curiosity mingling with the excitement of something new, because whatever you are, he’s never seen your like before. Some new species waiting to be discovered? You’re quick, darting around a corner and he can hear Proteus yelling to crush you, but he ignores that. Sliding around a corner, hip hitting the floor as he leans and his servos brush you. Sending you staggering and letting him roll to cage you between his hands. And several other Senators are staring when he looks up, their expressions scandalized. “Got it,” he says, awkwardly shifting to his knees and holding up his cupped hands as they recoil from him, whispering. Well, it’s not like they didn’t think he was a little off before. Shifting one hand to peek at you, he smiles.

Next

[starkspondwater]

Since prom season is here can I get headcannons for the main 4 😁

At my second job there have been couples taking prom pictures every weekend for the past month, so prom is on the mind! I did kind of turn this into a bit of a drabble so I hope that's alright!!

Main 4 Prom HC's

💙Stan💙

💙Man is a romantic at heart, just fumbles the opportunity a little. If anything it makes things a little more sweet

💙Knows prom is a big deal, and while outwardly to his friends he'll say he's not too interested in it, I know he is lying.

💙Proposal is going to be pretty typical- a nice sign he embarrassingly spent time on with some cheesy pun, flowers, and of course probably a little music (you can pry his love of music from my cold dead hands)

💙I picture him late at night in his room, Kyle on speaker, while he painstakingly tries not to spill glitter all over his rug. His mom already got onto him about how loud he had been practicing his song earlier, and he really didn't want to give her another reason to be pissy.

💙He was aware from the beginning who he wanted to ask, there was no question about that for him. The thing is he continued to beat around the bush each time he attempted to ask. The first attempt he lost track of time and before he knew it you were heading home and he was still dateless. The second one was a bit more embarrassing. He had figured a time and place to ask you, only to come face to face with a strange man in his 30's looking wide-eyed at the boy holding a glittery sign. Stan isn't sure how that even happened or who that was, but he knew he couldn't keep messing up.

💙The entire time he asked he couldn't keep the grin from his face, happy to finally be putting all his hard work to use! The sign was ridiculous and the song was...well it was a song, but that didn't matter. He had missed two opportunities already due to his own stupidity, he wasn't missing a third one!

💙Sharon rented him a tux, a day spent fussing over what would look nice on him. Even as he rolled his eyes, he couldn't deny that this was nice, the time with his mom. He didn't realize all the different styles there were and with each glance he kept trying to picture just what the two of you would look like side by side. By the time they got the deposit paid he knew he should thank his mom- his original choice in tux was...not great.

💙Is down for all the cheesy activities- dinner at Denny's beforehand, gaudy photo op, the group dancing. Will his friends rip on him later? Oh yeah. After years of seeing this experience in media he had been looking forward to it, dammit! Let him have his fun!

💙That first sight of you prettied up (whether in a suit yourself or a dress) he's going to feel that little trickle of nausea. I do not think that will ever go away for him, but he does get better about it over the years. Seeing you? Oh that's a test of his will.

💙Will yap as the two of you sway to the slow ballad playing over the speakers. I think for him those little moments are what he's going to recall the most when he's older- soft words as lights dance around the walls, and the feeling that no one else exists until the music stops playing

💚Kyle💚

💚I feel like prom was not even in the boys radar until there were only weeks left til the big day. One would think Stan freaking out about how to ask his own date and Kenny and Cartman joking about the after parties would've given him a clue, but with finals fast approaching it was in one ear and out the other

💚If he isn't interested in anyone I think it could go 50/50 on whether he'd be okay going stag or not. Like on one hand he'd be fine just hanging out with his friends, but on the other seeing Stan have a date would make him feel left out. He'd probably be strategic on who he's want to ask as a friend at that point

💚If he's got someone in mind then it is very different. He already waited a little too long to get the ball rolling, so he's probably at least a little stressed on what to do. Stan's probably got the most typical proposal suggestions, Kenny just said to streak across their yard (yes, thank you Kenny, that's such a serious suggestion) and Cartman? Well he's not giving the ginger any advice.

💚I think he would end up outright asking you. Nothing fancy, nothing particularly elaborate, just a simple question. He had an idea of what he wanted to do but the worry that he would mess it up coupled with the anxiety of possibly being told no just...made him blurt it out. Red cheeks and all. It was kind of cute to see the tips of his ears go pink as the words stumbled out of him!

💚Sheila is buying that boy a tux. Yes it would save money to rent it, and Gerald will argue that, but in her eyes every man should have something nice in his closet- and her lanky boy had already outgrown his Bar Mitzvah suit. She's got an eye for detail and basically forced him to get the color of your outfit so she could coordinate his tie and boutonniere

💚Pictures, pictures, and more pictures. Doesn't matter that there's a professional photo op at the venue, Sheila will keep you both for way longer than needed to get the pictures she wants. She's posing you, wanting ones of just you, then just him. Yes, somehow Ike is in there and Kyle is whining because we have to go, Mom!

💚Somehow says the sweetest compliments. I don't know why but I feel like he would notice and compliment the little details most guys would overlook- how your earrings match the beading on the dress, the way you pinned up your hair, or how all the slight variations of colors of your ensemble went together. It might not be a usual compliment from a prom date, but it's so sincere you can't help but truly appreciate it

💚I'm in the "Kyle has no rhythm" hc club. You cannot drag that boy out to the dance floor, not for love nor money. He thought about at least joining the little line dance that was going on, but he recalled 7th grade gym class when they were forced into a week of dance. Yeah...he was fine just watching you have fun, large smile and all. At least until the first slow song begins, that's when he finds himself gravitating towards the outskirts of the crowd, your hand in his

💚Is just going to sway, and it's only barely in tandem with the song playing. He avoided actually getting on the dance floor all night, not wanting to embarrass himself, but this was one thing he couldn't miss. He would be stiff at first, unsure of himself, before relaxing into it. By the end you actually had to remind him the song had changed because he just kept swaying, too caught up in how nice dancing with you could feel.

🧡Kenny🧡

🧡Kenny's been working on his prom stuff for a while- tuxes ain't cheap and he'll be damned if he doesn't look at least a little good. Busting his ass at work paid off though, and with a small donation from Sharon he was able to rent a tux along with Stan!

🧡I just have this feeling in my bones that he would've been the first of the m4 to obtain a date. Like he knew who he wanted and went right for it.

🧡Kenny's promposal is not as flashy as Stan's, but he's making use of what he's got and that's what matters. He loves surprises and that's just what you would get. He positioned the old car he had fixed up near your house, hood propped open with him standing in front. He looked downright pensive, and you knew it just HAD the be the engine; He'd been complaining about the thing for weeks. You stepped outside and hustled over, ready to help if needed only to find that along the engine and other parts under the hood were 5 pieces of paper, spelling out the word "prom?" in his familiar messy scrawl. You were pretty sure he had even doodled you and him along the margins!

🧡Kenny's not flashy, and he didn't want to be, but he also knew that life hit oneself pretty quickly and this sort of experience was something to look back on. Why not go all out? That was his motto when it came to a lot of those high school experiences, knowing how shitty things could get once adulthood hit head on

🧡He forgot the corsage, and he doesn't have a boutonniere, but he did bring a few flowers he picked up along the way to yours. He's not shy by nature, his friends making sure of that over the years, but handing over those few stems had him feeling warm under the collar. He might forget a few things, but that doesn't mean he forgot about you.

🧡Has no problem stating how good you look. If he's not saying it with his mouth he is saying it with his eyes- but he's not leering. The jokingly pervy looks he may shoot your way normally have been replaced with something much more endearing and gentle, like he cannot believe that he gets to be here with you. To him you might as well be a million bucks because he felt very rich that evening.

🧡Is going to dance the majority of the time and pull you and anyone else into the mix. Much like Kyle he does not have the best rhythm but he can keep a beat and bring a certain energy that made others want to join in. He's having a ball, and for someone who always seems to have something underlying that stresses him constantly, it's a wonderful sight to see.

🧡Slow dancing is where he has a lot of fun. He has no qualms about being close, not even pretending to hear Mackey's call for "leave room for Jesus!" and bringing you right to his chest. He's going to have a bit more movement, spinning you around from time to time and will attempt a dip only to be met with giggles.

🧡On the way home he's going to pull over that old car of his just to repeat the experience, his radio playing light tunes as you spin around under a streetlight.

❤️Cartman❤️

❤️Cartman had two modes to me. The absolutely most ridiculous shirts covered in memes and other things that could be cringe, and somehow the most stylish outfits out of his friends. He does both and it gives so much whiplash

❤️He had been planning on prom long before he even considered having a date to it. He knew the color he wanted to wear, he knew how he wanted his hair, the vibe, all of it. He has a VISION

❤️Liane handed over the money for whatever he needed. In the years since the hot dog she had pinched her purse strings quite a bit to hopefully teach Eric a lesson, but with prom she just wanted him to have the best time. I do think she gives some really good opinions that he takes into account-his momma does know a few things!

❤️Was going to just ask some broad to go with him (or possibly coerce her) but then you were in the picture and that idea went out the window. In his mind he was going to play it cool, maybe just appear at your locker looking suave before suggesting you two kick it at prom.

❤️He was sweating like a damn pig. You had been with friends and for the love of God his feet would not bring him over. He had no problem talking and being a little shit to you before and yet right now he felt like he was turning into season 1 Stan Marsh. Then, you killed him. Strutting over with friends watching behind you, YOU asked HIM to prom, and all he could do was dumbly nod before rushing off. It took a few days for things to sink in but eventually he did let it get to his head. It was infuriating to his group of friends.

❤️Does try to gently (not really) inform you of the colors you should go for with dresses/suits, not just because it would match his rather fancy tux, but also because he knew how colors worked and in no world was he going to have you look bad, especially standing next to him.

❤️That confidence of his wavers once more once he gets a look at you. The entire time his mother is posing the two of you for pictures and fawning over how precious you both look, he is just trying not to stare. He knew you'd look good, maybe not as good as him, but now he felt like eating those words.

❤️Like Kenny is going to dance, but he's actually weirdly good at it. All those years dancing in his room to pop songs kind of paid off for this one night. Where people normally tried to ignore him, he drew attention to himself and it was actually good!

❤️Slow dancing is where he shined. He's not doing that "his hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders" schtick, he's going to do this correctly. Grabbing your right hand in his you felt him pull you close with the left, your other hand coming to his bicep. While others swayed side to side he led you into some simple steps that soon you didn't even have to think about. It was...romantic coming from the loud boy, and to be honest it was a nice light to see finally see him in.

❤️If anyone ever mentioned how soft he seemed during those few slow dances played, he'd deny it. But you knew and that was just fine

[hollowed-theory-hall]

what's the one harry potter pairing u like that u mentioned in the tags of your hinny post?

Anonymous: Can I ask who that minor character you ship with Harry is? For some absurd reason my mind jumped to Stan Shunpike lol but it's probably not him.... Or is it?

Okay, so this is kind of a funny story. Like, my pipeline through hp pairings was a weird one. Like, I used to read a lot of Harry pairings, still do on occasion (some make more sense than others). None of them were ones I would point at and say: "that should've happened in the books"

One day, I was innocently writing a fic (canon divergence of GoF), and it was just for me, for funnsies, never posted it anywhere and not planning to. And I planned to pair Harry with someone there (honestly, I don't remember who because I didn't write the plan down) but when writing, Harry ended up with a different character. And it was so strange to me because that never happened.

Like, how do you write a ship accidentally?

But I did. I wrote Harry into a ship by accident. So I went back to the books to try and figure out why the hell would my subconscious decide that's the way to go.

I'll also preface it by all this being my subjective opinion and I do read other Harry ships in fics, this one just quickly became my favorite to write (and the only one I write). Also, I don't actually think this is a pairing that should've happened in the books, it's place is in fic and that's where I like it.

So, the character I accidentally shipped with Harry is... *drumroll*

Stan Shunpike!

Not really, it's:

Theodore Nott

Now, you might look at the name and go: "Who the fuck is that?"

And you'll be correct. Theo has 0 speaking lines in the entire book series. His name appears twice. He, himself, as a person, only appeared on page, like, 3 times in the background. The scene that gives the most information about him is other characters talking about him. He isn't even present.

That being said, I'm very good at extrapolating a lot of information from very little evidence. So allow me, to walk you through who is Theodore Nott and why I ship him with Harry.

Basic Information

So, let's start with the most basic overview before I pull out the quotes and go any deeper.

We know Theo is a Slytherin student in Harry's year. So he likely shares a dorm with Draco, Blaise, Crabbe, and Goyle.

Theo's father is both at the graveyard at the end of GoF and in the Department of Mysteries at the end of OotP, so we know he is a Death Eater. We also know Thoe's father was one of the first and closest Death Eaters to Voldemort, who waited for him during his interview with Dumbledore in 1967:

“Then if I were to go to the Hog’s Head tonight, I would not find a group of them — Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov — awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed...”

(HBP, page 444)

We also know the Nott family is "as pure-blooded as the Malfoys" according to JKR in an interview. We also know Theo's great-grandfather (maybe? the family relation isn't clear), Cantankerus Nott, is suspected to be the one who wrote the Pure-Blood Dictionary, the book that coined the term "Sacred 28" and made that list (which the Nott family are on).

The name Nott is potentially to be derived from the name Nótt, which is the personification of the night in Norse Mythology. So it has been theorized the Nott family have a Nordic origin. Possible, but it doesn't really matter for this post.

Edit: Correction regarding the surname "Nott". It is either a later anglicized form of the name Cnut (considered most likely), which originates from a old given danish name, known as the name of a pretty famous old Danish king who ruled a portion of England in the Early Middle Ages or it originates from the Old English word "Knot", and refers to someone who lived on a hill. The name "Cnut" (older spelling of the name"Nott") can be found in the Doomsday Book (survey of England's gentry from 1086) as owning lands before and after the Norman conquest (different family members and different lands in the before and after), suggesting the Nott family have either old Danish or Anglo-Saxon oigins and predate the Normans, making them one of the older wizarding families in the UK. But again, all this doesn't really matter for this post.

What does, is that he comes from a dark, Death Eater, blood-purist family similar to the Malfoys. Even so, Theo never took the Dark Mark and never joined Voldemort in the books.

Now, that we have the basic information out of the way, let's look at Theodore as a person.

All the details I could gather from the books

Alright, now we get to the fun part. That is, me going through all the relevant scenes that mention Theodore Nott and actually creating a character psychoanalysis out of basically nothing.

So, the quotes aren't organized in a particular order. I'm just going to explain Theo and then explain why all this makes me ship him with Harry.

“Well, I pity Slughorn’s taste. Maybe he’s going a bit senile. Shame, my father always said he was a good wizard in his day. My father used to be a bit of a favorite of his. Slughorn probably hasn’t heard I’m on the train, or —” “I wouldn’t bank on an invitation,” said Zabini. “He asked me about Nott’s father when I first arrived. They used to be old friends, apparently, but when he heard he’d been caught at the Ministry he didn’t look happy, and Nott didn’t get an invitation, did he? I don’t think Slughorn’s interested in Death Eaters.” Malfoy looked angry, but forced out a singularly humorless laugh.

(HBP, page 150)

This is a part of the conversation between Draco, Pansy, and Blaise, Harry overhears when he is hiding in their compartment at the beginning of HBP. I have a few things to note regarding this scene.

Firstly, throughout this conversation, Pansy, Blaise, and Draco all call each other by their first name. This shows closeness, they are all friendly and familiar enough to use their first names with each other. Theo, though, is referred to as "Nott" by all three in the compartment.

He doesn't actually sit in their compartment which is in itself a sign about how he isn't really friendly with Draco's group. Considering the group is most of his year from his house, Theo is likely very lonely, and it will be apparent from other scenes I bring up later.

Secondly, Theo's father is in Azkaban. We know Draco is bothered about his own father's predicament. He mentions it to Harry and bothers him over it, Theo doesn't though. Theo doesn't seem to be bothered by Harry or his father's incarceration.

The only conclusion I can draw from this is that the relationship between Theo and his father is not a good one.

(I know some fics like to have Lucius be abusive towards Draco, for some reason. But the books really don't back this up. Lucius loves Draco and Draco adores his father)

Theo, though, Theo seems to be the one with a very strained relationship with his father. Strained enough that he isn't bothered the man is in Azkaban. What I'm saying is that Theo's father likely abuses or mistreats him in some capacity.

If anything more was needed to complete Harry’s happiness, it was Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle’s reactions. He saw them with their heads together later that afternoon in the library, together with a weedy-looking boy Hermione whispered was called Theodore Nott. They looked around at Harry as he browsed the shelves for the book he needed on Partial Vanishment, and Goyle cracked his knuckles threateningly and Malfoy whispered something undoubtedly malevolent to Crabbe. Harry knew perfectly well why they were acting like this: He had named all of their fathers as Death Eaters

(OotP, page 583)

This is a scene at the end of OotP after Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Theo's fathers were caught at the ministry and sent to Azkaban because they are Death Eaters. There are a few important notes about this scene.

The first, Hermione knows Theo, while Harry and Ron don't really. This means she likely knows him from the classes she takes and Harry and Ron don't — Arithmancy and/or Ancient Runes.

The second, he is sitting with other Death Eater children, but I don't think it's by choice. I mentioned in the previous quote how he isn't close to Draco and his crew. He sits with them here mostly because he doesn't have another choice. Theo doesn't seem to really have any friends, so he sits with the closest people he has to friends — kids he has known since he was young because their fathers were in the same circle.

The other note about this is that Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco are all mentioned as being threatening and malicious towards Harry because they don't like that their fathers are in Azkaban. Theo, though, Theo doesn't threaten Harry, he isn't part of their whisperings. As I mentioned above, he's likely happy his father is in Azkaban.

A pair of blank, white, shining eyes were growing larger through the gloom and a moment later the dragonish face, neck, and then skeletal body of a great, black, winged horse emerged from the darkness. It looked around at the class for a few seconds, swishing its long black tail, then bowed its head and began to tear flesh from the dead cow with its pointed fangs. A great wave of relief broke over Harry. Here at last was proof that he had not imagined these creatures, that they were real: Hagrid knew about them too. He looked eagerly at Ron, but Ron was still staring around into the trees and after a few seconds he whispered, “Why doesn’t Hagrid call again?” Most of the rest of the class were wearing expressions as confused and nervously expectant as Ron’s and were still gazing everywhere but at the horse standing feet from them. There were only two other people who seemed to be able to see them: a stringy Slytherin boy standing just behind Goyle was watching the horse eating with an expression of great distaste on his face, and Neville, whose eyes were following the swishing progress of the long black tail.

(OotP, page 445)

“The only people who can see thestrals,” she said, “are people who have seen death.”

(OotP, page 446)

The stringy Slytherin boy mentioned here is Theo. This scene proves that:

He takes Care of Magical Creatures

He saw someone die

Let's explore the second one for a moment. The fact Theo can see Thestrals means he watched someone die and was old enough to comprehend what he was seeing. We also know Theo's mother is dead. So it's likely the person he watched die was his mother.

I also want to draw attention to Theo's distaste towards Thestrals. He could likely see them carrying the carriages every year since 2nd year, it's not his first time seeing them. But it doesn't stop his displeasure with their sight from showing. Which says something about him. It means he likely recalls his mother and her death whenever he looks at the Thestrals. and these are memories Theo rather not experience.

We don't know how his mother died, but I'd hazard a guess it wasn't natural. After all, wizards have long life spans, they are more durable to illness and injury, and don't usually die from accidents unless very extreme or magical. And there was no epidemic of dragonpox (a disease that does tend to kill wizards) in the time since 1980 and the books. So, she was more likely killed at some point between 1985(ish) and 1991.

“No, I don’t think so, sir. I’m Muggle-born, you see.” Harry saw Malfoy lean close to Nott and whisper something; both of them sniggered, but Slughorn showed no dismay; on the contrary, he beamed and looked from Hermione to Harry, who was sitting next to her.

(HBP, pages 185-186)

First, Theo is an O student in potions since he is in the potions NEWT class, and was probably meant to be there even if Snape was the teacher.

Second, again, Theo doesn't really have friends. He sits next to Draco as the only other Slytherin in the class. Also, they share the circumstances of being sons of Death Eaters currently in Azkaban. Although both of them seem to deal with it quite differently.

Third, Theo joins Draco in making fun of Hermione's blood status, but he does not initiate it. Considering the environment he was raised in and is in, it makes sense he would make fun of it. Whether he's a blood-purist or not, he would want to keep his image considering he doesn't have many allies. Hanging out with Draco is survival, not friendship. They aren't even on a first-name basis with each other.

“Amortentia doesn’t really create love, of course. It is impossible to manufacture or imitate love. No, this will simply cause a powerful infatuation or obsession. It is probably the most dangerous and powerful potion in this room — oh yes,” he said, nodding gravely at Malfoy and Nott, both of whom were smirking skeptically. “When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love. . . .

(HBP, page 186)

The final quote I have about Theo is from the same potions class as above. Both he and Draco are portrayed here as underestimating amortentia and its potential damage. It makes sense for their upbringing in the Wizarding World, which has no real laws or regulations regarding love potions that are seen as harmless fun more often than not.

I'll add Theo likely didn't witness a healthy romantic relationship. Considering his father is a Death Eater who is likely abusive and may or may not have killed his mother. With this as his reference to a marriage, it's clear why he'd look down on love and love potions.

Why I think Theo and Harry have potential

Okay, so now that we know who Theodore Nott is, let's talk about why I ship him with Harry.

I think Harry, in general, would get along best with a clever partner with the ability to be ruthless (Slytherins or Ron fall into this category). Because Harry isn't some golden savior; he casts unforgivables, and is very willing to poison Umbridge or Crocio Snape if he could get away with it. He needs a partner that won't be horrified by these thoughts.

Also, Theo literally never speaks on page. Even when spoken to, his reactions are silent. I think this quiet and no need to talk, the ability to be comfortable in silence, is something that would be comfortable for Harry. Harry in the books finds himself annoyed with Ron and Hermione's constant banter on occasion, so I think it fits well.

Theo would also be comfortable around Harry without a need to play a certain part. Because Harry wouldn't care about that. He would honestly rather Theo forgo the pure-blood Slytherin act.

I feel like Harry and Theo, have a good potential to understand each other. Theo lost his mother and likely experiences abuse from his father. It makes them very likely to trauma bond over their crap life and shared experience. Two out of three only ones who could see the Thestrals in the entire class.

The other thing I feel they could connect over is being lonely. Harry spent all his childhood until Hogwarts basically being on his own. Theo stayed on his own. Draco at least has his parents, he has other students he's closer to, not that he shares everything with them, but he has some support network. Theo has none. And this is something Harry knows well.

Theo, I think, wouldn't expect anything specific from Harry. He doesn't even interact with him, not to mock him, and not to idolize him, he doesn't care at all. And we know how much Harry appreciates being thought of as Harry and not as the Boy-Who-Lived. Theo would allow Harry to be himself without some mold he wants him to fit in.

The fact Theo never becomes a Death Eater, even though he was in Draco's year and his father was a Death Eater before Lucius (and in better standing than Lucius with Voldemort) is so interesting. It's somewhat surprising Theo wasn't marked. It means he didn't want to be. It means that Theo Nott didn't want to torture and kill muggleborns or blood traitors, or anyone really. And he didn't want to swear his allegiance to Voldemort. This is just a fascinating fact to me and something I enjoy considering. What life experience made him come to that conclusion? Was it just his dislike of his father that pushed him away? Could he have been another Sirius Black (Gryffindor in a Slytherin family) under slightly different circumstances? I mean, Voldemort likely wouldn't force him to become a Death Eater, but would his father? I don't know what at all went down there, but I like that potential story.

We also know he wasn't part of Umbridge's Inquisitorial Squad, even though some minor Slytherins were mentioned to be part of it. He just seems to be an actually decent guy (I don't care what Cursed Child says about him, I know he's there but I avoided almost anything to do with Cursed Child so I barely know the plot).

Finally, this is a character Harry doesn't have as much drama to get over with. Yes, sometimes I want to read overcoming drama between characters before it becomes a romance, but sometimes I want something chiller than that. And Theo is a really chill, safe, Slytherin option for Harry.

[aglionbyacademia]

Okay fuck it all, here are some reasons to love the shit out of Gansey:

• the way he cares about his friends, like he just loves them so incredibly much and always feels like he doesn’t deserve them and he sees all that potential in them and just wants them all to be save and happy and healthy

• every time he calls one of his friends “marvelous creature”

• the yearning. The yearning for Glendower. The yearning for knowledge. The yearning for every single one of his friends. The yearning for blue

• the way he doesn’t do favorites. He loves all his friends so obviously equally and even when blue joins the group and he falls in love with her he’s still not choosing her over the guys or the guys over her

• the way he makes mistakes all the time and does his fucking best to learn from them and improve

• the way he does things just for the aesthetic. His journal? The Camaro? Monmouth manufacturing? The books laying around at Monmouth? His bed in the middle of the fucking room? None of it is really practical and there are way more modern and sensible alternatives he could use but NO bitch boy has got to be extra and live his 80 year old grandpa life for the a e s t h e t i c of it all

• his intelligence. I know we talk about how smart Adam is a lot (which duh! He is.) but guys!!! Gansey is so fucking smart. He’s close behind Adam in most classes and that all the while searching for Glendower and as opposed to Adam he doesn’t need to be good. (Also he never seems to study much in the books. It’s mentioned that Adam studies a lot. It’s mentioned that Ronan studies once. It’s never mentioned that Gansey studies. I mean sure, we can assume he does study a bit but by all means not even close as much as Adam and he’s still right behind Adam in most classes!!). But also, let alone all the research and shit he did for Glendower? All the random unnecessary facts he has floating around his brain?

• so he comes from a rich white family of Republicans. Red flag, right? But no, not with Gansey. You might thing a character with that background would probably be controversial and idk man racist and homophobic and what not. But not Gansey

• he literally couldn’t give any fucks about Ronan being gay. When he finds out about Ronan and Adam all he says is that Adam better not play with Ronan’s feelings because he’s vulnerable. Also, it’s to assume Gansey already knew about Ronan’s sexuality and he never made a big deal out of it (because it is no big deal).

• Also, when Ronan made slightly racist remarks about Henry, Gansey called him out on it (and that happened like twice at least)

• number one Adam Parrish stan

• number one Ronan Lynch stan

• number one Henry Cheng stan

• number one Blue Sargent stan

• number two Noah Czerny stan (sorry but I think blue and Ronan are fighting for first place so Gansey got pushed to second because he wouldn’t want to get into that war)

• the peacemaker!!! Literally such a pure boy who hates fights so much and all he ever tries is to solve them and get going

• all he ever tries is to help and support his friends and give them all the love and best life they deserve even if he’s pretty shit at it at times (i. e. whenever he tried to help Adam with money. We know you mean well Gansey but that’s not the way to go with Adam you should know that by now)

(• the way rarely sees fault in his friends. Ronan literally once thought about how Gansey always acts like Adam is such a saint while he’s really not (Ronan’s words, not mine) and literally Gansey would excuse any bullshit Ronan does in a heartbeat without even thinking about it twice)

• how he’s always worried about his friends. When he still thought Ronan tried to kill himself how he always worried about it happening again and he keeps blaming himself for not being able to help or Adam getting hit by his father and Gansey not being able to help him out of there

• all. he. wants. is. for. his. friends. to. be. happy

• his need to always please everyone no matter what

• “Gansey was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year. They were always walking away from him. But he never seemed able to walk away from them.”

• the amount of times he thinks of Ronan and Adam as his brothers. The unconditional love he has for them

• it might not be evident at all times because Gansey is a clumsy mess around women (Blue) BUT he did drink his respect women juice. Sometimes he just says dumb shit he doesn’t mean and learns from it

(• all the emotions and thoughts he keeps on hiding and shoving down because he doesn’t want to burden his friends with his problems?? Like, baby this is not the way to go you gotta let it out but also super sweet you don’t want to put it on your friends (which you should tho because that’s kinda what they’re there for and you’re also always so eager to hear about their problems and help them with it). He already knows he’ll die soon but he tells no one because he knows they will try to help prevent it and that they’ll get hurt because of it so he never tells them.)

(• His panic attacks. His ptsd. His insomnia. He’s trying so hard to be the positive and supportive and helpful dad of the group while he himself has major problems but he always feels like his friends are more important than that.)

• “With force, Gansey kicked off his shoes. One flew over his miniature Henrietta and the other made it all the way to the side of his desk. It slammed off the old wood and slid to the ground. Under his breath, Gansey said, "Yee haw.”

• the poetry of his thoughts and speech. Like,,,, dream me the world,,,, safe as life,,,,, excelsior,,, that’s all there is

• his almost kisses with blue and just the way he always describes and thinks of her and he’s just so. in. love

• “And everywhere, everywhere there were books. Not the tidy stacks of an intellectual trying to impress, but the slumping piles of a scholar obsessed.”

• the way him and Declan just,,, raised Ronan??? And Gansey was the parent that made Ronan feel very loved and accepted while Declan was the strict parent who just wanted to protect without giving much freedom

• wanting to use the favor to bring Noah back to life??? Like??? He could use it for anything in the world but no if he gets it he wants to use it to bring Noah back because he just loves his friends so. much.

• he died to save his friends even though he was so so terrified about dying. I mean he did it once and never wanted back. He thought about not wanting to die so so so many times. So many conversations with his friends about just how scared he is to die and how easy it would be for him to die with his allergy and all and then he just puts his life on the line for them in the flicker of a heartbeat

[mileven11forever]

I gotta tell you dude. Being a Mileven fan and a casual one at that, is so difficult.

I like their relationship, it’s flawed but it’s a cute and fairly healthy one all things considered, but everywhere I look I said media-illiterate Byler nonsense, infantizing El with ableist comments, trying to make Mike and El’s relationship as toxic as possible. I can’t stand it.

I’m sure Mileven will be endgame, but I’m kinda worried, what if the Duffer Bros cave into fandom entitlement and make Byler a thing, they Byler fanatics will be insufferable.

The Byler stans I see are just ridiculous annoying, they’re so proudly incorrect with their notions and I feel like I’m losing my mind!

I don't really agree with that honestly. I don't think most bylers are "media-illiterate" or insufferable. The interactions I've had with them have actually been very nice. Yeah, sometimes some of their theories can be a little ridiculous but other ones are actually kind of convincing and sort of make sense from what I've seen. I'm still 100% sure that Mileven is endgame, and I don't doubt that in the slightest, but you don't have to be so rude to bylers about it.

If somehow the Duffers do end up making byler canon, I don't think it would be them "caving in to fandom entitlement", I would say it's probably what they intended all along. The Duffers have their plan for how things will end, and have since the beginning of the show. Whether byler or Mileven ends up being the endgame couple, it won't be because of people in the fandom, it will be because that's the story the writers want to tell.

Again, I really don't think byler is going to happen, but I'm not one of the people who will be upset if it does. I ship Mileven, I don't ship byler. But first and foremost I just want the show to tell a good, engaging story, and for the characters I care about to be happy. If you don't like seeing byler posts then block those tags, it's not really that hard. People like you are why Milevens have such a bad reputation, just be kind to people. Who cares what other people believe about a TV show? It really doesn't matter that much.

Yes, there are some bylers who are mean too and sucky people, but literally every single group/community to ever exist has people like that, including us Milevens. Just calm down and be respectful to people. Jeez.

[sgiandubh]

On sightings

It's that blessed time of the year, with eggnog and spice galore?

Anons are never unemployed for long, because - as I always say - the idiots' mother is always pregnant.

To counter Park Anon, perhaps, another casual fan (relevant later) posted a sighting on another one of those FB behemoth fan groups that come with a LOT of small print barking around ('BE KIND! NO BULLYING! NO SPAM! NO ADS!'). That particular group is obviously Spanish/Latino based and that is sort of relevant, in the geopolitics of this fandom:

Anyways, here goes. The woman had no fucking idea of Claire Fraser's civilian name, but was ashamed to admit to it - so long for accuracy, dude:

Her sister is also a member of the group, but curiously enough nobody asked her anything, even if she was there and could have given her own feedback on the whole event. And she did not offer any, even when her next of kin was clawed around by the patrolling Stans Brigade. Perhaps because she's only been a member of the group since December 15, 2024 (her sister, the OG informer, was active in there since August 30 2024, only)?

Anyways, all the obsessive tropes seem to have been thoroughly checked, in that comment thread.

Blonde Bambino? ✅

Tracula? ✅✅- you know that one was coming, right?

The Wookey Hole Caves is an amusement park in Somerset - oh, how convenient:

C might have went with Blonde Bambino and retinue for the Winter Wonderland show - it does make sense.

An easy daytrip from London, too. But it had to be Somerset, for some reason - where C has established no footprint since 2019 and something she never mentions in fan events (even though Tracula's relatives do live in that area - plot thickens). Where no other sighting had been reported since at least the Italian guy taking a fan pic with C, circa 2019-2020 (help me on this one, veterans 😘?).

What stroke me as odd wasn't even the lack of pictures. It would have been very easy to sneak one, since the OG informer's nephew was riding along Blonde Bambino on an age appropriate ride - but hey, let's not nitpick on that one, after all Park Anon didn't have any, either. Also, the OG informer is unsure about Caitriona's name, but knows exactly how old Blonde Bambino is? What about that 'almost 4" - did C casually throw some pebbles along the narrative track, like Hansel in that fairy tale? Isn't Blonde Bambino supposed to be 3 years, 4 months old? How is that 'almost 4'? Was the OG informer using her own deductive skills, based on a ride Verboten sign?

The carousel the Blonde Bambino could not supposedly ride on is this one. It is situated indoors, in the park's Penny Arcade zone, at The Mill (https://www.wookey.co.uk/things-to-do/):

What stroke me as odd is that both the OG Informer and the Riding Toddler's mum are inexplicably elusive about any specific details. I was not expecting a deposition transcript, for sure, but at least a couple of those details that bring warmth, humanity and plausibility to a story. You know, like Park Anon's little girl having a tantrum because she didn't want to go home:

[Source: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/751391542332325888/i-always-read-the-comments-on-sams-posts-because]

Nothing of the sort, here. But if anything, what gave me pause the most is this tiny little tidbit the sanctimonious people across the street do not want you to see:

You read that right. The Perfect Stay-At-Home Dad couldn't be arsed to watch 'his' son on a ride, in an amusement park where things can and do happen. The One Who Always Babysits, even when his 'wife' is clubbing around with her Praetorian Guard (credit given accordingly 😉) in London, knowing perfectly well C has a full time nanny for 'Baba', looked completely disconnected from the scène de genre. So much so, that the OG Informer had nothing else to report.

So which one is it? Was it T, was it someone else from the Praetorian Guard? Does it really, really matter?

All this carefully calibrated story surely made me think about one of the times I lied to a very nice bungalow B&B landlady, somewhere on the coast of the Peloponnese. When our electricity blew out in the middle of the (cold, February) night, I had to call her and explain 'me and my husband' were about to die frozen in her idyllic little orange orchard. My 'husband' was my best gay friend (currently posted somewhere in the Middle East, LOL) and we were very much plastered with excellent wine, which we happily continued to imbibe after the incident was solved. Bless her heart, she did ask me the next time I went there (with Someone, 😱) how was my 'husband' doing. I shamelessly told her we got divorced, in the meanwhile. She smirked and mumbled something like 'eh, diplomats'. LOL.

Double standards are, as always, prosperous across the street. Other than that, may I just add the most recent reviews of the park are ahem, mixed, at best?

Especially, perhaps, this particular review, written by a mom of a three-years old little girl:

[Source: https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attraction_Review-g635922-d213489-Reviews-Wookey_Hole_Caves-Wookey_Hole_Somerset_England.html]

I find the management's answer extraordinarily enlightening. They know they have a problem with it. They offer settlement outside of the saloon, perhaps a batch of free tickets and hefty discounts thrown in for good measure. LOL, really LOL.

Hence my question, Your Honor: was it even C? Why would she do that, when she could have easily went to Eurodisney in Paris or any other fabulous London seasonal attraction, of which I am sure there are many? This, by all accounts, sounds more like a sad, rushed and tacky improvisation - again, why? Why on Earth do that to 'Baba'? Why?

Make it make sense, please, because right now it surely doesn't.

I rest my case.

[maxdibert]

I think, fundamentally, a lot of these marauders stans have no experience in activism or politics. They don’t read theory, they don’t involve themselves in local groups and community action, they’ll maybe go to one or two highly sponsored lib protests and think they’re revolutionaries. My point is that they don’t have any real world experience with these issues, with these ideas, with these people, so they’ll see the marauders joining the order and think they are freedom fighters, which is only because they don’t know what freedom fighters are. Idk it’s just a bit offensive if you’re someone who is involved in resisting in any capacity and you see people get on here and say with 100% sincerity that the marauders were true agents for change and Snape deserved his treatment because he was on the wrong side. They are just misappropriating these terms and ideas to justify their faves’ abusive behavior.

GOD. THANK YOU. IT’S JUST. SO. SO. FRUSTRATING.

I'm sorry but I really can't stand it. I understand that a lot of them are teenagers, but that’s not an excuse. I was 16 and I was going to protests where the police beat us with batons. I’ve been stopped and detained AT THE DOOR OF A HIGH SCHOOL for going with some friends to protest. I was 15 when people took to the streets and occupied the squares out of political discontent, and we were literally camping in the fucking street. I’ve gone to protests where, at the end, far-right groups and neo-Nazis were waiting to beat us up. I’ve taken part in pickets and protests at university. I’ve been involved in unions and political meetings with people from very different associations.

I spent 10 years of my life extremely active in youth political circles in my community. I’ve been in squatted social centers, I’ve been in eviction blockades, this is not a fucking game. It’s not about putting a little flag on your Tumblr. It’s not about coming here and saying you like the idea of hooking up with an abuser, so you’ll just make him bipoc and pair him with a random character you can project onto. No. That’s not how it works. Just like it doesn’t work to say you fight for trans rights just because “canon doesn’t matter anymore, now everything is fanon” or because you say “fuck JKR.”

Dude, go help trans women who have no choice but to do sex work. Go and volunteer with associations helping unhoused trans people or people who’ve experienced transphobic violence. These are just kids — and really kids — who don’t know shit but need to build up this image of themselves as neoliberal social justice warriors completely consumed by Hollywood culture, who have no idea what actual social struggle or politics are, and who’ve never read a single theory book or made an effort to educate themselves on the street in their fucking lives.

And they go around talking about incredibly serious things like Nazis and racism and Hitler, and they have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about. Like, literally, many of them are from countries where fascism never even happened. And many others are just certified dumbasses, plain and simple.

Honestly, it personally offends me, because I’ve seen a lot of shit in my life and I’ve seen people in a lot of shit. And I work with people who have done horrible things precisely because they were raised in environments where it was impossible to develop normally — where everything was violence, poverty, precarity, drugs, and crime — and then you get a bunch of clueless little idiots acting like revolutionaries because they write fanfics with a dozen made-up multi-ships and think they’re the most progressive people ever because they write about characters who were never gay in canon, never bipoc, and never victims of anything, because in reality they were all white and privileged, but they want to whitewash them so they don’t look like the abusive bastards they really were, while condemning the ones who actually were vulnerable.

It’s such a fucking lack of respect. Honestly. What kind of education are they getting at home, and how much damage has been done by letting them believe that social struggle is just slapping on a few flags and reblogging two or three pamphlets on the internet?

[not-goldy]

I've done a lot of thinking. Kind of long thoughts. Sorry.

When we got news BTS was joining MS. I threw up at the thought of Jimin going & panicking on behalf of Jikook. I remember saying I don't think Jikook can go 2 years without each other are they gonna make it, more importantly is Jungkook gonna be okay? Spoiler alert. The answer is NO & we saw that with his breakdown when Jimin was in reach, but busy during Chapter 2. Had that man in a downward spiral knowing he was still seeing Jimin & could pop over, but not as much as he's use too & was not coping well and told us & showed us he wanted his Jimin. Then it was Jimin's turn to pout when Jk was busy. Made me sad but then we saw them making the best of 2023 spending alone vacations together & couple days, even days before enlisting. And I was like pheew, at least they're spending time together so maybe when separation comes, they'll be okay. Spoiler alert. Jikook said NO we won't be okay & pulled the biggest FU you aren't separating us move, that's ever been pulled. I be damn if they weren't behind the scenes making arrangements to not only be together, but share a bed, a unit, living area & in a buddy program that has it where they even take their vacation days together & see each other every day til discharge. Blew my damn mind, but at the same time not shocked cause of course Jikook would pull off something like that. Everyone should've seen it coming to be honest. JUST WOW. The real definition of "Screaming, I testify that we'll survive the test of time. They can't deny our love. They can't divide us, we'll survive the test of time. I promise I'll be right here."

That said. This woman pulling this with Jimin or that woman with Jk. Doesn't matter. I know regardless of what happens behind closed doors, my duo are the closest no matter what anyone says. Its a real genuine bond no one can break, not even random women or men for that matter. They're the two who are spending time in their rooms when they could be with others, spending their vacations off camera alone cooking at their house or coming back home together from LA when others went off on their vacations & them spending couple days together over everyone else. Enlisting together & making life decisions together. Dropping honorifics to show their closeness & even their parents show constant support toward the other. Who make time for each other on their birthdays & really commit to it year after year. Say what you want but I'm at peace knowing how much Jikook truly love each other. Its not fake or baiting. They're genuinely close & comfortable with each other, esp enough to cross friendship boundaries. Whatever that means for them. Take that how you want. I haven't been stanning two people who are exaggerating & making their bond seem closer then what it is for the sake of the group or to entertain fans, when in reality they're off building a relationship & life with their real partner over each other & don't even spend significant holidays or birthdays or couple days together. NO. Instead, I'm stanning Jikook who always put each other first (over their own partners if they have them) for when it really matters, including on couple days & does it year after year & are consistent. Jikook have proven for years they're the closest & the military enlistment solidified that cause you only join with a buddy program with friends you are the closet too or with your actual partner. Take your pick, cause we know both can apply here and Jikook did that. And no one can take that away from them. And guess what they're still together today through all the bullshit and hate. And that matters to me & I support whatever they have. They have nothing else they need to prove to me. I get others need more validation, but I'm content & at peace & just happy knowing while all this melodramatic bullshit is going down, that Jikook have each other and Jimin is not dealing with this alone. They have each other to rely on through good and bad in there. So I sleep well at night knowing that. They'll never make me hate you or turn my back on your Jikook. Thanks for listening.

Been awhile I read something interesting in my Ask box so thanks for your thoughts.

The Jimin going away had us all too so I understand what you mean. We try not to victimize him and treat him like a fragile being but sometimes instincts override our every senses.

I wanna dwell on that a little bit to say things are going much better than I thought.

The anxiety and panic attacks thinking he can't take that isolation for long but bro went in there and dominated 💀

It's a fuck you to every single person who thought him a feeble weak submissive gay man. Don't you just love it when it's the stigmatized gay ones who end up setting the standard of the ever cherished male masculinty and who end up dominating the upper echelons of their prized male sports???

Who's your daddy

Better say his name bitch

I feel yuh on the other stuff too

We riding till the wheels fall off

Old Town road style 😎

[sehodreams]

Hey guys, hope you're all okay with the current situation.

After a couple days, I'm finally more level-headed to talk about this without crying, so I wanted to make a little announcement.

I'll close this blog until new notice, I'm supporting the boycott, and yes, I still love the boys.

I know for some people the boycott seems useless since Seunghan already left, and I'll be fr with you all. Now, I don't know if I (emphasis on I) want him back. What happened was traumatizing in so many ways, I just want him to breathe and get better. I'd love it if he came back, but after everything that happened, I only hope he can be happy, regardless of what his decision is.

Still, I find the boycott extremely important because this has become a precedent I don't want to see again.

Over the years being an SM stan I've seen uncountable times how the company has done nothing to support their artists, and I don't want to support such a useless place anymore.

Being an older fan I'm thankful that my boys have careers stable enough to not depend entirely on the company, but even like that, my older boys (Suho, Chanyeol, Xiumin) have talked about how the company has mistreated them despite the time they have there, which makes me think that SM might be genius at finding talents, but they have no idea how to treat them.

What I'm talking about is not my imagination at all. In the past, cases like Henry, JYJ, F(x) and others have been handled like shit, and I simply don't want the rest of Riize to go through that. As I said, there are precedents, and Seunghan's case is merely one more on the list for them.

Yes, they're a big entertainment company, they'll never be affected by one member leaving since they can simply not care and they'll continue making a ton of money. They could easily find a replacement, or even worse, create another group and forget about all of them (No one will ever make me forget f(x) so don't pretend it hasn't happened). And we've seen that it doesn't matter what we think, they'll continue with their own thing if we're not loud enough (Yes, I understand the concept of obligations, but to have contractual obligations doesn't mean they can continue moving in silence). The boycott, in no way, it's the only way fans have tried to make their feelings clear. It's the last resort to be loud enough.

Honestly, I never expected things to get so out of control. I thought it would be like Chen's case. Maybe a little noise and then things would continue with presentations of Riize as 7 like nothing, as if this was just one of the things we'd remember as a fandom but finally move on from.

Of course, we've seen that this idea was extremely wrong.

I considered common sense like reason enough for Seunghan to come back, and that blinded me into not considering that: 1) Seunghan was still a rookie without stable years of trajectory with a fandom way younger and immature, and 2) Common sense is not an objective or strong enough fundament on which a conclusion could be developed from.

I might sound dumb or pretentious as fuck in that last sentence, but the translation of it is just: I didn't consider those crazy assholes would send a hundred funeral wreaths and bully Seunghan until he left (Only because he dated a girl before debut. Let's be honest, the cigarette was never the cause of this hate.)

This whole post might sound like an order to boycott, but I have no control over anyone's actions as much as no one can't control mine. We, in the end, are free to do whatever we want. I won't judge people who will continue consuming SM's content (let's not forget, Riize's content IS SM's content) as much as no one should judge me for deciding to support the boycott. We all have our own reasons, morals, and values, and that's something I appreciate a lot from the fact that we as people (I deeply hope we all) have the freedom to decide how to act for our own wishes. And, as much as I appreciate my freedom to do what I want, with this last resort I hope Riize gets a fraction of said freedom.

I based my decision to support this boycott on the fact that there are too many cases of SM having terrible management with their idols for years and that I don't want Riize to ever be wrongly treated by them again. First was Seunghan, bullied until he was kicked out/forced to leave, but let's not forget what happened when Anton's picture with his friend (holding hands) got leaked from her private account, and when the picture of Sohee and his friend (kissing his cheek) did too. Like this, we don't know with accuracy what other privacy could be violated tomorrow, who the affected one in the group will be, or the SK fans' reaction.

Will they be forgiven? Will they be forced to apologize? We don't know, and there's no way to conclude what the reaction will be.

I understand that all the boys are going through something delicate right now and that some people might not want to affect them more, I respect their choice to not support the boycott, but in my opinion, the situation already got out of control, and this damage might never be fixed, but the next one could be prevented.

I could continue with a whole post about SM mistakes and how useless they are, but I feel my disappointment should be directed to real action now.

I hope we all (the people who wish to support the boycott) do it better this time, and this means, no kind of interaction with Riize's new official content.

That should be the bare minimum for the case, but I'm not really someone who gets satisfied by the bare minimum.

I (again, emphasis on I) consider that there's no official content that doesn't go with this little standard. With this, I mean fanfiction, fanmade videos, and anything based on Riize's new content (even old one, but I'm a little tired of continuing this idea, you can think on your own). Therefore, I won't be writing for Riize to also support this boycott. (I know some might laugh saying You didn't even post that much anymore, well yeah that was a block but now it's a decision.)

I'm not sure when I will feel comfortable enough to write about Riize again, but I hope not much time goes by. In my case, I don't expect Seunghan back because I don't know what he's really thinking, and I deeply wish he did, but I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want after these traumatic events.

I could say he has to come back, but deciding to be more empathetic, I don't wish any kind of hate (and definitely not this kind of hate) over anyone, not writers, not fans, not idols, so I don't expect him to be on the public eye immediately after officially leaving the group, but I do not want to support a company that puts all their idols to this kind of risk, and I expect them to at least show they're doing something to prevent this on the future.

There's a concept I remember a lot, and it's that by doing nothing you're still risking a result. SM, being silent and non-acting, is putting all the boys at risk, and I only expect SM to prevent this invasion of privacy and damage from repeating and the situation from getting out of control again.

We, as fans, have no obligation to protect them, but SM is their employer, and as such, they have it. Yet, until now, these roles have been reversed.

I believe SM has the resources to do something, and until that happens, I hope we continue giving the message through the only way they'll listen: The boycott.

[lplondynnwo]

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE GETTING MAD AT SKZ FOR NOT SPEAKING UP ON THE ISSUE:

(this was copied from a reply because i’m noticing A LOT of people don’t seem to understand what i’m understanding)

If JYPE is allowing skz to collab with a zionist i don’t think they are gonna allow skz to speak up against the matter.

We all know that skz have a lot of creative freedom within their music and production but at the end of the day they are still just another k-pop group in a toxic industry under a big company (one of the biggest in the industry). Any wrong move they make and they could pretty much lose their jobs. You guys are forgetting THEY DONT JUST HAVE COMPLETE FREE WILL. The still have schedules and bosses. People who run things and tell them what to do.

The k-pop industry is not a very good place especially for big name idols under big name company’s. If we see the stuff that we see now, you can’t imagine what goes on behind the scenes. Why Felix doesn’t do lives after apologizing for the coca cola. Why Chan isn’t allowed to go live anymore (which he literally said himself) because of something he said. And TONS of other idols being put under harmful diets and forced to do things they don’t want, etc.

It’s not that easy and we probably haven’t even seen half of it. I get that you want them to apologize and not do this at all, trust me so do I. But like I said at the end of the day this is their job. They could lose it just like that. People get kicked out of groups and put on a hiatus for DATING. Take Seunghan from RIIZE for example; he’s on a hiatus for having a girlfriend (who he wasn’t currently with) BEFORE he even debuted. Imagine what would happen to SKZ if they speak up against a genocide (that their company obviously doesn’t care about) like you want them too.

If it’s their own collab that we can only assume they are being forced to do, then we can also assume they have to promote it as well. And as for the members— Felix specifically, didn’t we establish he’s a regular donator to ‘Save The Children’? The same ‘Save The Children’ that has been providing services towards Palestinian children since 1953?? They know, but there’s not much they can do. At least not publicly. Especially after the company made them collab with a zionist, do you expect them to be able to speak AGAINST it without consequences?

And by saying this I am not AT ALL trying to excuse anything Puth has done/said, anything JYPE has done/said, or say that StrayKids can never do any wrong (because people seem to assume that a lot). All i’m saying is it’s never really a “if they wanted to they would” situation in the K-Pop industry. Idols who have spoken out on it (Fatou from Black Swan for example) are under (the best way I can describe it is) “lower” and less watchful companies. Like I said, they’re are still bad companies in a toxic industry. However, they allow idols to do MANY things idols we know of and stan cannot do. And it’s all because of who they work for. I would love if SKZ and other popular idols with big fandoms and platforms could speak up on this and put a message out there but i just don’t think it’s possible for them. These companies literally control their entire lives.

[wulfums]

Fun Halligan Facts (And abt how Rick and Klaus are w her!)

- her middle name is Briggs. Klaus was mad enough when he found out where Rick got her first name from…no one show him Limbo of the Lost

- I just KNOW like 75% of the picture books Klaus reads to her when shes young are very truck and car based. Rick is like “Im starting to think those are more for you than her” and Klaus is like “Well excuse me for sharing my interests with her 🙄” (This is very lighthearted silly teasing banter. Rick thinks its genuinely so cute because now Halli gets just as hype abt trucks as her daddy and its So Fucking Cute)

- Rick is keeping every piece of art she ever gives him no matter what. He puts it in a big binder.

- They both act like theyre superior to other parents (Which pisses off Stan, Francine AND Roger.) even though they do equally dumb shit. But they make a point to never be demeaning towards whatever she gets interested in. They are like, signifigantly more strict though because theyre both overprotective. This becomes an issue when she hits high school years.

- Halli and Rogu are lifelong besties. Rogu is 2 years older than her but bcuz of how weirdly they both age, theyre basically at the same place.

- Some of Klaus’ boyz have kids around Halli’s age! She gets along with them. They tend to just be doing kid versions of whatever they see their dads do. Klaus has the cutest videos of this. His boyz are very sweet to Halli.

- Its really important to Klaus that Halli learn German!! But she loses interest fast which is upsetting to him. Klaus is like “Dryly being taught and tested is how I was taught and it worked!” And Rick is like “You also regularly have nightmares about everything from your childhood, honey.” Rick suggests they make it more interesting for her. What they do is have Rick join in on learning it. Because hes starting from barely knowing any, and kids learn faster, Halli is ahead of him so the fact she can be smarter than her dad on something motivates her. Rick + Klaus play up their responses to make her laugh.

- The Smith family are actively in her life! Ill be real- for Stan its because he knows she has Fischer blood in her and hes terrified she’ll also be a stoner when she gets older and he cant deal with a third one. He tries to instill “morals and values” in her which Klaus and Rick are NOT happy about. Greg warns them to make sure he doesnt try to kidnap her. They basically use Stan as an example of what happens when you dont take school seriously.

- Klaus asks Francine to not drink in front of Halli, and surprisingly she listens. She missed having a young kid around so shes sooo sweet to Halli. But she lets Halli get away with anything and everything. She doesnt want Halli turning into a nerd.

- She loves her Uncie Jeff and Auntie Hayley!!! Theyre the only Smiths that she calls anything like that. I think overall personality wise, Jeff is a good influence on her (despite what Stan thinks.) because he is extremely empathetic, honest and in touch with his feelings. He also cried so hard (good cry) when Hayley points out that Halligan genuinely looks up to him. Hayley is similar to Francine in that she loves Halligan a lot and does let her get away with more than Klaus and Rick do. But she does also take safety seriously. Halligan thinks shes super cool because Hayley shoplifted some gum for Halligan once!

- Steve is excited to finally have a younger family member!!! He gets her into tech stuff early on for sure. He is sooo sweet to her and so are his friends! They let her feel part of the group. Shes also the only one on planet earth who thinks these four are cool guys and they know thats not gonna last forever so theyre gonna roll with it as long as they can. They let her play dnd with them and let her character be a bit OP. But not TOO op.

- Roger is not allowed to watch Halli under any circumstances. He can interact w/ her if either Klaus or Rick is there but they dont trust him not to lose her or get her killed somehow. Which, fair.

- Tuttle is Halli’s favorite babysitter! He instills a love of gardening in her 🥺 He lets her pick out the first flowers he’ll plant in the spring.

- Halli is friends with Libby! Shes over at Gregs a lot bcuz of this. Greg is similar to Klaus and Rick in that he is strict and actually keeps an eye on them.

- Halli isnt allowed on Youtube without supervision and doesnt get a smartphone til shes much older. No content slop for her.

- I think her first word is Truck (she says it as Tuck) and Klaus starts crying whenever he thinks about this. She actually loves when he shares his interest in vehicles with her 🥺 She loves things that go fast.

So yay fun facts !!

[elainsgirl]

I happen to think you are actually extremely respectful and have proper fandom etiquette. You tag your posts appropriately and have gone on record to state there are rude elriels out there so you’re not a hypocrite unlike some people on the other side. I also wouldn’t necessarily call you a “hater” in the internet sense. What I mean by that is usually haters are people who hate things for no reason. But that’s not the case with elriels in regards to gwynriel. If you’re anything like me, I hate gwynriel because of its fans. The fans can really ruin a ship and fandom experience. I might’ve been fine with gwynriel’s existence as a crackship but I legit roll my eyes now any time I see anything related to gwynriel because gwynriels are ridiculously rude and condescending. So fair game if you hate on (I’d say you more critique) a ship that people claim will be endgame with nonexistent made up proof trying to shove said nonexistent made up proof down your throat on YOUR blog

Awe anon, thank you so much. I may be a hater, but at least I’m able to always back up everything I say with canon proof. Unlike a certain group of people. Im exactly like you with Gwynriel. I dont care about the ship itself, it holds the same value as brycerial, azris, feycien shippers. The stans however has put me off. They’ve said and done too many horrible things to justify their fanon ship that unlike them - I cant brush under the rug & ignore. Also just the concept of gwynriel is terrible especially for a love story + no gwynriel arguement has ever made sense. Gwynriels have to twist Azriels’ character to be disgusting to disprove elriel…yet they still ship him with Gwyn. Every argument/point they’ve made - gwynriels have had to backtrack on making them hypocrities. The amount of mental gymnastics you have to do to understand gwynriel and how it fits in the canon narrative is crazy. Not to mention most of their theories were stolen from elriels.

For a ship that doesn’t have a single romantic moment/coded moment, hell, for a ship where the two characters have shown 0 romantic interest in each other - gwynriels are often arrogant, condescending and cocky. They’ve actually managed to convince themselves their ship which started off in a spinoff series and have 10 scenes in total - where in most of those scenes, gwyn is uninterested and Az thinking/pining for another woman, has just as many chances of happening as a ship like elriel.

It shouldn’t matter if I hate or even critique gwynriel/elucien, their own side does the same with elriel + as you mentioned I tag my posts with the right tags, how are you coming to me to complain about my posts you chose to view 😭 and Im fine with antis challenging my opinioms/takes as long as its asked respectfully but most of them just talk down to me like im stupid & once I prove them wrong thats it. I never hear from them again, typical.

[chevelleneech]

Someone shared an edit that shows Jungkook as his sexy, tatted up self in a JK stan group and the post was captioned "congratulations to whoever bouncing on it" and me being me always looking for trouble, I commented "what if he's the one doing the bouncing?"

And just as I predicted, a bunch of people crashed out under my comment, talking about "that's weird, that can never happen", and the classic "you don't know him!" I told them they do not know him either to be saying someone's bouncing on his dick, and they genuinely didn't get it. Instead of just saying "well whatever/yes that could be/he could be doing both" or whatever like normal people, they reacted like I insulted their mothers. One even thought they said something smart by saying "we don't know his sexuality, but if he is "like that" he's definitely still the one getting his dick bounced on"

People can try to be so accepting of homosexuality, until they have to imagine the sexual part and suddenly people are fighting for their lives to prove how their faves absolutely 100% are not and will never be on the receiving end.

The misogyny is unbelievable. And coming from women..

“What if he’s the one doing the bouncing?” Is honestly the funniest thing I’ve read in a VERY long time, lmao!

You’re right though. Trying to get people to even partially agree that it’s possible for Jungkook to be queer, is like pulling teeth. Getting them to understand he could maybe like men exclusively, is impossible. Trying to make people understand he could enjoy anal sex regardless of his sexuality, and therefore be a Bouncer, is akin to asking someone to light a fire in outer space.

Mind you, I do not go around discussing JK’s potentially preferred bed positions, because I don’t care. I do think he’s probably gay and I do think he’s aware of what topping and bottoming is, as most adults who frequent online spaces are. More so if you’re an adult who 1) watches/watched porn 2) has queer friends 3) engage in queer media. All of which we know he did and does. Therefore, him answering “top” when asked, “top or bottom”, means he either is a top or prefers to top.

Who he’s topping? I don’t know, but it doesn’t make sense to be a fan who actively denounces the possibility of your fave man, in particular, being queer and/or into anal sex. Men in general freak out at the thought of it, because they don’t want to be seen as gay, even though that’s not how being gay works. But the point is, no one except Jungkook and the people or person he’s having sex with, if he’s having sex, knows what he likes and whether or not he is doing the bouncing or being bounced, and it truthfully doesn’t matter.

What you said is funny to me, though, because it’s true, but that’s the extent of it. I understand you weren’t being super serious to this people, but it’s both a simple yet reasonable thing to bring up given the context of conversation, but is also such a harmless joke. The same that can be made about pretty much anyone. I’ve seen people joke about Zendaya pegging Tom Holland, for fucksake, lol. It’s not that deep, no pun intended.

How someone has sex does not determine the kind of person they are. At least not completely, so those people should probably relax more. Especially because I don’t think Jungkook cares if people thinks he’s a bottom, likely because it’s never going to be revealed to us. Not in a way that satisfies the people who need 100% indisputable proof that he knows what gay sex is and how it’s had. Again, I do think he’d already answered the question, but a lot of people also believe he meant “top of the charts”, so… whatever, lol.

And you’re right again about it being rooted in misogyny and femmephobia. It’s why I believe Jimin is so heavily targeted by Tkkrs and JK solos. Jimin isn’t overly feminine, but his antis will make it seem so, because he’s slender and pretty. They can’t stand the idea of Jungkook enjoying the company of someone like him, which is why they are so desperate to paint the idea that Jimin is a sexual aggressor and JK is an unwilling participant. They don’t like the possibility of Jungkook being “beneath” someone they deem undeserving. It’s why he’s the big possessive one to both shipping and non-shipping fans. He’s the “man” in every scenario (gay ship or het fantasy), and “real men” never bottom aka “submit”. That’s a woman’s thing to do, according to their logic

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Don't you think pjms theories are too much of a reach? I don't think the company is sabotaging Jimin or that Bang/Scooter hate Jimin. There's not enough evidence to affirm those things to me. The company is just inefficient, stupid and money hungry. They are in a position to give better support to Bts solo songs that are not tied to western producers, they just don't want to spend money because a bts solo has some degree of success guaranteed anyway.

I have stanned idols who sued their company, who shaded their company until they left. And Jimin doesn't do those things. He complained about the MVs, but that's about it. He looks happy, he jokes around with staff. To me he is not being mistreated, it just looks like it because they company is incompent.

No, I don't think everything is a reach. I don't think they particularly hate Jimin, it's not personal. It's just that Jimin wasn't who they were planning on investing in, and they had other things to prove and he unfortunately stepped in their way. I even think they would've done the same to any other member, of course not everyone has the star quality Jimin has.

They're not incompetent. You don't build a multi billion dollar company if you're incompetent, for god's sake. You're naive and everyone thinking the same is naive or playing dumb. A lot of what they did for Jungkook's promo they already did it for BTS as a group before; they actually did more for Jungkook than they even did for BTS. They've always known what to do, they just didn't do it for anyone else. And even if some things slipped out of their hands, fans have been tagging them and asking them to fix it and they never did. Even though they fixed everything people complained about regarding seven.

What do you mean to say, that from April to July they learned everything didn't learn in 10 years? Because that's the time between like crazy and seven; 3 months. How does that make sense? Even more, the moment Jungkook was in that studio booth, they were already planning everything for seven. So, did they learn everything between March 24th and April 7th?

All solo releases had a settled and agreed on budget by the company. I doubt the members get involved with numbers; it's the company who decides on the budget. But even knowing and understanding that, some things are hard to understand still.

Jimin didn't get 6 videos because it was "irrational" but rookie group new jeans got 6 videos. Jungkook is going to get at least 2 more when he releases his album, and I don't even have to talk about predictions but present day is enough: there's like 10 visualizers (I think it's more than that now because I keep getting the notifications) for this one single and those videos cost money too.

I get that the physical CDs that the fans have been asking for cost money, but here's the thing.. they were sold out in the first or second week. So they never planned on restocking anyways, they manufactured a certain amount that got sold out in the first week and they never restocked because they were never planning on manufacturing more. Now, Jungkook has a month worth of CDs stock, I heard that the they stocked 38k CDs a couple of days ago and I believe the first stock was 10k, and since then they've restocked like 4 times so I'm sure they're already around the 100k CDs sold. I would even bet you that if they run out of their initial stock, they will manufacture more CDs if necessary for this single.

The same is happening to other BTS releases, by the way. They've been sold out for months and they're only restocking for Jungkook. It wasn't an exaggeration when I said all the money the 7 have earned is solely going into Jungkook's career. I will keep saying that because it's a fact.

By not restocking those CDs, they're limiting their support for their own artists. But they're also limiting the support fans can give them, because how can they buy if the product is not available. And that is sabotage, no matter the reason behind.

You say "They are in a position to give better support to Bts solo songs that are not tied to western producers, they just don't want to" well exactly, and that is not incompetence. They just don't want to.

"Demand, impact" bla bla bla. If they were to restock 50k CDs of like crazy, they will sell all. And they know that. It's not that they're scared they'll manufacture and ship CDs and make no revenue; they know there's demand, they just don't want to do it.

Budget and money aside, there's still important things they could've done, important things they could still do that they don't need money for.

There's no need to for budget to combine a song's streams or let people know about change in a chart rules. The English and Korean versions were released combined, it gained streams the following two days simply because it's a good song, and it hit #1 on global. The day after it was #1, the numbers were split and thus affecting its chart position. It's almost like for three days it didn't matter but it mattered the moment it was #1, because that was the debut they had planned for a different member. Seven, of course, combined from the begining and still no problems.

Spotify customer service said the label was in charge of combining songs, that they could do it if the label asked. I wasn't sure if I believed them at first, because sometimes databases get messed up and also Spotify customer service is kinda bad. But for several reasons, one being that issue with Post Malone's song, and the other being scooter's attempt at changing the number of streams for seven after its debut, I believe them now and I'm sure that if hybe wanted to, they could.

They didn't need budget to let people know about the change in the chart rules. They didn't care to, they didn't want to announce it until Yoongi had a song out. I don't know if you remember, but this is how things played out:

-> like crazy predicted between #4 - #6 for the second week

-> announcement that 100k+ sales were deducted from the total sold that week

-> a couple of hours later: instagram posts about Jungkook "making history" with bangpd and scooter

-> bangpd on the cover of billboard magazine the next week

If you think all of that was a coincidence, you do you.

And they didn't need budget to let people know what happened to those 100k sales. They still haven't given any explanation on that.

Did they need budget to put like crazy on this is BTS playlist? Did they need to hear Jimin say he wants to be a giant popstar?

None of that has anything to do with personal aspirations the members might have and it has everything to do with management. And no, I don't believe they're incompetent.

I said this earlier this year and I still stand by it:

There is no doubt it was Jimin who decided for who long he'd promote and what activitites. Of course, I'm not ignoring that Yoongi's release was stepping on Jimin's tail, so I also think Jimin could've been somewhat obliged to cram everything into a few days because he knew Yoongi was next.

I know Jimin decided on the shows and performances he went to; Jimin always been tied emotionally to their Korean fans, and he's always respected and honored them; during the pandemic and for festa 2022 he mentioned several times wanting to do music shows. He's had a good relationship with Jimmy Fallon for years, he chose to go to his show because he likes him. I never expected Jimin to go to live lounge as well as I don't expect Jungkook to ever do a stage like set me free pt2 or even like crazy.

I could consider -I have considered- the option that everything was just bad luck or something and that after knowing it was possible to have such a debut like Jimin, hybe he wanted a piece of the cake and to seriously take credit for success like that, so they decided to go all out for JK (this is where personal aspirations come into play), making sure that everyone knew who were the people involved. Because everyone knows who's behind seven. Even Jungkook won't miss any opportunity to talk about receiving the song and being granted this chance. He literally said his life changed because they gave him this song.

I mean...

But there are two things that won't let me really commit to the possibility that all happened by chance; one being all the mediaplay around JK since early 2022. Two, and the most relevant to me it's that Jungkook seemingly never worked on his album. He said that he wasn't doing anything, that he had no plans, told people to not wait for him. I'm sure you know everything. It's not like they suddenly decided to give him a song and then a full english album, no. They've been planning this for a while, and he probably knew about the plans and that's why he wasn't really working on anything.

Maybe you're new to the fandom, but one of the years BTS went to the Grammys, I think it was 2020, a CEO went with them and he placed himself in every photo next to them. In one photo, he even moved Jungkook out of the center so he could be the center of the photo in the freaking red carpet.

That same man, along with BangPd would give interview after interview talking about how they know how to create the next BTS, because they allegedly have some kind of formula. Formula was the word they always used. Armys always got so mad about those statements, saying BTS can't be imitated and that BTS is what it is because of the members and not because of the company. Most armys who remember that, who read those interviews aren't in the fandom anymore. The people in the fandom now don't know, and don't care.

This whole thing, for more than a year, has reeked of the same ideology.

You know that they are fame and money hungry, yet don't consider the possibility that they might do everything they can to get exactly that.

[i-am-baechu]

Summary: Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Y/N and Jungkook love each other but when familiar and new faces come into their lives, things get complicated. On top of that, a surprise that truly shakes their plans for the future. Will their relationship push forward or will Jungkook lose his fangirl once and for all?

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·

Chapter twenty-one: In & Out

→ Genre: Idol au, established relationships, girl group stan au, social media au, K-pop fan page au, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

→ Main pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Fan girl! Reader 

→ Side ships: Yoongi x OC & Jin x OC

→ Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, alcohol usage, anxiety disorder, stalking, and obsessive behavior

→ Warnings for the chapter: Talks of depression and dark thoughts (If this is triggering please don’t read it) 

→ Authors Note: If you are struggling in life please call 1-800-273-8255 or visit https://psychcentral.com/health/online-help-for-depression#list that has other resources to help you. You are never alone even if this world makes it seem like. Where there is love there is no darkness 💜

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.” – John Green

One of the worst things that can happen to someone is having their thoughts travel with no destination. It’s so dangerous but you don’t realize it until you have already left the train station. No matter what the weather is, nothing can change the feeling in your heart. The sun can shine through the window but there is no light in the compartment. Just darkness. The only way to escape is to pay the master gratitude and maybe then the sun could shine.

Y/N sat on the bed listening to the water hit the window. Pitter-patter. It was another rainy day in Korea and she couldn’t be bothered with the rain drops. They just keep reappearing. Rain is nice for others, it brings peace but for Y/N it's different. Each droplet contained a fragment of her life which is why she couldn’t look at the glass. It would make her remember or worse think. In moments like this, she was glad she had Jungkook in her life but today she didn’t want the comfort. She wanted the loneliness and she wanted to feel the nothingness at least then, nothing could hurt her.

Jungkook sat in the living room with the movie at a low volume. It’s been two weeks since Y/N left the guest room. He would come in and try to talk to her but she would just look at him with a blank expression. It was something he wasn’t used to from her and in all honesty it scared him. He felt his phone buzz and he picked it up, “Hyung...”

“Is she still in the room?”

Jungkook glanced up the stairs and sighed, “Yoongi, I don’t know what to do...I’m scared.”

“It’s been almost a month and she hasn’t talked to any of us. Maybe you should try again but this time be a little more firm.” 

“Firm? Is that the right action, especially how she is now?” 

“Okay, not firm...I guess just tell her your concerns and talk about more therapy.”

Jungkook nodded his head and rubbed Bam’s head with a small smile, “I’ll try...I’ll talk to you later.” 

“Good luck.”

Jungkook sighed and stood up from the couch. He glanced at a photo of Y/N and him at the beach. It was cloudy that day but that didn’t stop them from going. She wore his sweater and they looked out towards the water. That day, he saw a small look of Y/N’s mind. She talked about how she wasn’t sure how she felt and everything was confusing. The one thing that would never change no matter what, Jungkook wouldn’t be with her. One day at a time, he told her. 

He tossed his phone on the couch and smiled at Bam, “Stay.”

The big dog nodded his head and laid on the couch watching his master go up the stairs. With each step, Jungkook glanced at the photos that were placed on the wall. Each photo told their story, the moments that made his heart flutter no matter what. Like the moment when Y/N surprised him for his birthday in the dance studio or when Jungkook surprised her with roses on her birthday. Moments that made him know that this was worth it. 

He gently knocked on the door and slowly opened it to see Y/N staring at the wall. Something he grew accustomed to seeing. He closed the door quietly and sat on the bed. He gently rubbed her leg which was covered with the black blanket, “Babe...can we talk?”

“Mmmm...” 

He glanced down at the carpet and started playing with his fingers, “I think you should go to therapy more...”

“What’s the point?” 

His eyes widened when he heard this and glanced at her. This was the first time she answered him with words, “What do you mean what’s the point?” 

She slowly got up and stared down at the blanket, “It won’t help me at this point...I think I’m too far gone.” 

“Babe, what do you mean?” 

She glanced up at him and then back at the blanket, “There was a night at the hospital....Jeongguk I almost died.”

His eyes drifted to the blanket but he shook his head. He scouted closer to Y/N and placed his hand on top of hers, “Baby-”

“Jeongguk, have you ever experienced a near-death experience?” 

“Well...once at this concert but that doesn’t matter right now.”

She sighed and glanced at the window, “I met him, death...in my subconscious. I was in this beautiful house as he spoke to me like I was an old friend...well, I am one to him. I could’ve grabbed his hand and let everything be over. There was a part of me that wished I did because I’m just...I’m so tired Jeongguk...so tired.” 

Jungkook gripped her hand tighter and rubbed her knuckles softly, “Y-Y/N...I know things-”

“Jeongguk, someone tried killing me because I love you. Before that I was already going through things...the thought of being a mother scared me and just me wanting...”

“Wanting what?”

She looked at his face and a tear fell down, “I wanted to die Jeongguk...Everything was too much and I just couldn’t handle it. I hate that I felt like that because I had so much support from my friends but I-I...I just couldn’t.” 

Jungkook bit his lip and held back his tears because right now wasn’t the right time to cry. She needed him to be strong, “Baby, I can get you help-”

“Jeongguk, I love you so much...I don’t think I can be here anymore.”

His eyes widened at this and he stared at her, “What do you mean?” 

“I want to go back to my mom...I need to leave Korea for a while.”

He nodded his head at this and glanced down at the carpet, “Do you want to...do you want to break up?” 

She glanced at him and shook her head, “No...I don’t want to break up. I think it would be best if I stayed with my mom for a while...like a month.” 

He nodded his head and leaned forward placing a kiss on her forehead, “If you want that then I’ll support you. I’ll always be here for you.”

She leaned forward, having her head on his chest, “I love Jeon Jeongguk.”

“I love you L/N Y/N.” 

1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

Jungkook sat in the dance room with his head between his legs. The night before was weighing on him heavily. That night, he slept with Y/N in the guest room. She cried into his chest as he rubbed her back hiding his own tears. Hearing the person you love wants to end their life was something he wished on no one.

“I knew you were going to be in here.” 

He looked up to see Namjoon with a bottle of water and a soft smile, “Hey...”

Namjoon sat next to him and set the water next to him. He let out a small sigh and leaned back on the glass, “I heard you talked to Y/N last night.”

Jungkook nodded his head at this and looked at Namjoon with a blank expression, “Y/N is going back to her mom's for a month.”

“That sounds good for her...what happened with the conversation?” 

“She told me something...”

Namjoon nodded his head and took a sip of his water, “You can tell me anything Jungkook.”

“When she was in the hospital...she almost died. She told me that she saw death and they talked...she also said she wanted to die but she chose differently.” 

Namjoon's eyes widened at this and put his water next to him to give him his full attention, “What?” 

“Y/N said she wanted to die and I think she basically had a mental breakdown because of what happened.” 

“That makes sense, Jungkook...someone tried killing her. She is also dealing with it at work, it's a lot for one person.” 

Jungkook looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, “I know...I hate myself that I didn’t notice it.”

“Jungkook, you can’t put this pressure on yourself. I think you always knew she was having a hard time.” 

“I did but I-I just didn’t notice how bad it was...if I noticed it maybe I could’ve helped her sooner.”

Namjoon placed his hand on his shoulder and brought him in a hug, “It’s not your fault...it's the people out there that are doing this to you guys.” 

Jungkook finally let his emotions break through and he started crying in his chest, “I-I just want to be happy with her. I want to spend my life with her and experience everything with her. Why can’t the world let me be happy?” 

“Shh...it’s okay Jungkook. It’s okay.” 

“Wh-When I find the person that did this to her, it’s going to be war.” 

Namjoon nodded his head as he rubbed his back, “We’ll be by your side. No one messes with us.” 

That night when Jungkook came home, he saw Y/N in the kitchen drinking some tea. She looked so tired and it broke his heart to see her like this. He placed his things on the table and walked towards her. She glanced up and gave him a small smile, “Hey, you.” 

“Hey, baby. How are you doing?”

She glanced down at her mug and then back at him, “I made tea. My mom told me to make it, she said it would make me feel better.” 

“That's good, baby. When do you want to leave?” 

She walked towards him and leaned her body against his, “I was thinking Friday...”

“Friday? That’s in three days.”

“I thought the faster I go, the faster I come back.” 

He nodded his head and kissed the top of her head, “If that’s what you want...I’ll be here waiting for you. I’ll give you space.” 

“I don’t want that much space, Kook.” 

“We’ll get through this.”

“We will.” 

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