#and sphinx was so fucking cool
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lunneus · 1 year ago
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sighing loudly that sphinx and the cursed mummy wasn't more successful, left a lasting impression on a lot of people, and made enough money to have a sequel/remake with the cut content
Siiiiiiiiiigh
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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meow
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theevilbrainman · 1 year ago
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Please get piercings please get piercings please get piercings PLEASE GET PIERCINGS PLEASE GET
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muchmossymess · 2 years ago
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I may be a bit late to the guillermo del toros pinocchio train, but holy shit did that alter my brain chemistry
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vveirdvvitch · 2 months ago
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@accidentalslayer my beautiful queen
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a tiny sphinx
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backpackingspace · 1 month ago
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Perspective my beloathed
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traaanskimkitsuragi · 2 years ago
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yooo tlovm season 2 is actually so good so far 👀
#unironically so many details abt these 3 new eps that i was initially kinda ehh on#but!! theyre like actually using them quite well#i love how character driven things have been its rlly nice#also!!!! the bit with scanlan having a eureka moment w the sphinx#unironically a really funny gag & also just a great moment#like in the campaign itself scanlan is also usually the one with the super unorthodox solutions/tactics#so its rlly cool to have that translated here more explicitly than ever#by having him be the only one who ends up trying something thats not just fucking running at the guy and punching him#i actually called that it was going to happen as soon as the sphinx said they had to wound him but i didnt think they were#going to put this much effort into it i thought itd just be a lil throwaway joke#also vaxs whole thing with the raven queen is rlly good so far as well!! im liking it a lot#i wish they had kept the blood pool but i guess we might see it later#also can i just say i wasnt super big on vaxleth in the campaign#like they have some sweet moments but im not super into the awkward anime couple thing they had going on#but. in the show theyre pretty cute#it feels like they managed to capture the players og intent and actually execute on it i like it a lot#im not quite fully on board w percahlia yet just bc like. tsundere percy feels really strange#like hes very subdued yeah but hes not like. a teenager#the stuff i like abt campaign percahlia is how mature it feels in comparison to vaxleth#like it actually feels like 2 adults flirting#whereas in the show its got like. romcom vibes which im :/ not really fond of at all#but oh well im still looking forward to the rest of the season!! im still having a good time#i only wish the show wasnt so hetero/cisnormative but alas it is what it is
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tritoch · 2 months ago
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i've seen a lot of people complain about the dawntrail final dungeon for being a thing that we have basically already done and i understand and in many ways agree with that complaint but i do think it varies from the usual in ways that are actually pretty compelling.
spoilers for dawntrail follow, natch.
like okay in amaurot and the dead ends and the lunar subterrane (okay this is definitely a well CBU3 has gone to too many times), the premise is the fights you're engaging in are all kind of historical. behold, the dooms of amaurot. tremble before ra-la, a real sphinx that actually existed once somewhere. face durante, just as golbez faced him in real life.
and accordingly, because all the fighting is supposed to match the energy of the dungeons, these are moments of panic and peril. the world is ending. the worlds are ending. the kingdom is on fire. there's a solemn villain voiceover to really drive the point home (we just wanted to play...on da amaurotine playground...). amaurot is falling and look how sad it is. every world died and look how painful it was. my best buddy golbez died and it was really sad. everything is Fucked Up.
what's really fun about alexandria by contrast, particularly in the first part, is that things are fine, actually! sphene's here (well, "heah"), and we love her, and she smiles because we smile and we smile for her :). oh no alexandria is falling and it's so sad and noble because of everyone's chivalric sacrifices :( oh yay we're rebuilding from the ashes :)
it's a beautiful, tragic, noble story. and the whole time no one's talking to you, not like normal. sphene's kind of reciting the lyrics to memory from cats listlessly but everyone in her memories is talking to each other, not to you. none of them are interacting with you. you're not fighting alongside her against her enemies or taking down conjured horrors from the past.
no, the whole time you're being reminded of one very specific fact.
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You're foreign. You're not from here. This is not for you. This is not yours. This peace was not yours and never will be. This grief, this hope. You chose otherwise. You were offered the chance to be Alexandrian. You rejected it. Stay over there. Stay out. You are not wanted here.
in what i personally choose to interpret as a bit of dark comedy, when things start breaking down, it's literally one of the only words you still understand.
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ultimately what distinguishes alexandria from amaurot or the dead ends (intentional "this is why i'm sad" slideshows made specifically for the warrior of light to experience) or the lunar subterrane (accidental memory recreation) is that you are choosing to invade sphene's memories. you are doing a cool little backdoor heist at the luxor casino by causing chaos all over the strip before you crawl through the vents to get to the mainframe or whatever.
but in the context of dawntrail, alexandria is the invading power, the rapacious techno-dystopia that intends to carry out forever wars so it can use the literal souls of its enemies to power its treat machines and which not so coincidentally spawned in north america. and alexandria has literally invaded both tuliyollal and yyasulani at this point. so the conceit of the memory guardians helps make clear the hegemonic logic at play. you are a foreign entity. you are not a subject of the state. your life has no value. you must be removed.
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or, if removal proves impossible, exterminated.
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n3ptoonz · 1 year ago
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OMG OKAY SO I JUST READ YOUR RECENT HEADCANONS WITH EARTHREALM BOYS AND HOW THEY'D REACT TO READER RIDING THEM AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND IT GOT ME THINKING
How would they react to reader pegging them HEHEHE 👁️👁️🙏
mk1 hcs: how the earthrealm guys react to pegging
sorry i took so long to get to this anon! life is on my asssss and kept getting random spurts of writers block but WE HERE
warnings: explicit, smut elements, fluff elements, sub men obviously, sphinx might have favs idk tho😹
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Scorpion
When you suggested pegging for the first time, it intrigued him. He'd always been down to try something new, especially if you bring it to him since he does it more
Y'all would be reeallll slow in the beginning. Luckily you knew all about preparation and making sure he was relaxed and okay the whole time. It didn't take long for him to get used to it, and even take a liking
He'd prefer for it to be a regular thing after his looonngggg days after work. There's nothing he needs more than to either be treated with tender, love, and care or just straight filthy coitus with him seeing stars and his hair tangled to all hell
The first few times he was a shy boy, cute lil whimpers here and there. Now? Doesn't give a damn, he will be as vocal as he feels like. You're gonna be the one who wakes up with claw marks and bite marks in the morning
Sub-Zero
Huh? You want to what? Were you inside of his head or something? How'd you know he wanted you to absolutely mix his guts whenever he gives you attitude? Something ain't right
He only acts reluctant because he didn't wanna look eager, but the man was waiting for this moment. The second you suggested it he was like "okay i'll say yes after like the third time i gotta look cool." when whole time he wanted to fall to his knees and hug your thighs in agreement
Don't try to go slow the first few times. His patience is shorter than his temper, this mf is the most power bottom individual in the bedroom. After he's gotten used to it he'll 'allow' you to go the romantic route (he's such a lil bitch for it we love it)
He barks orders at you like you won't grab his face and give him a taste of his own medicine. One good time where you're hovering over him, a thumb on the inside of his cheek while he drools and you fuck him like your life depended on it. Mission success!
Smoke
He's the one who brought it to you. Any objections? I think tf not. He isn't saying it aloud, but his eyes are silently begging you to treat him like the town's whore
He likes both the romance and the pure filth. It's entirely up to you; he will never say no to anything you suggest. Fuck him like you're mad at him or go slow and steady while you kiss his jaw and play with his hair and sing his praises
Any and all positions available. If you can somehow prone this big boy, DO IT. He'd totally ride you too if you really down for the count. We are troopers around this bitch!
Sometimes it would concern you how rarely he tapped out, especially when shit was getting intense and didn't calm down for a while. If you were absolutely demolishing his ass, you'd see a pool of drool escaping his lips, his eyes glossed over, his whines and moans gradually getting louder, and when you asked if he was okay, he would nod and give you a thumbs up like he didn't just bust 3 times in a row
Johnny Cage
Every time I do any sexual hcs of this mf, I will continue to say he's a brat. I do not care. He's a fucking diva and will dare to bark orders at you too like you're not the one who brought it up
Y'all know that Meg the stallion lyric where she's like "no don't fuck me like that fuck me like this"? THATS HIS ASS. He KNOWS it'll piss you off but go one of two ways: you indeed do fuck him like that but added aggression, OR! you stop completely and pretend like you're gonna leave the room. Works every time
He thoroughly enjoys straight up sex over romantic sex, but every once in a while he indulges in popping champagne, throwing down rose petals, and playing sexy music in the back to set the mood. Ol dramatic ass
Remember how I said in my riding hcs that he records everything? Yeah. Even as far as come to you and be like "okay so like what if we sold these? i could cut your face out if you want-" and you're like !1!2? HOWEVER ik some of yall are FREEKIE FUCKS. If you say "fuck that leave my face in it", prepare to never need a job ever again
Kenshi Takahashi
Surprisingly is down with it. That's what #love does to a mf. He's like Kuai, anything you want you shall receive. If you wanna play around in that ass, say no more!
97% of the time wants to go slow and steady. He just loves looking at your face with the power of Sento while making love. Tell him how much you love and appreciate him and how he's doing so good for you and he'll instantly become the butter to your bread (like melting- ok y'all get it cool)
That 3%?? He would be on his knees and begging you to fuck the stress out of him. He's had such a tough week, just shove his head into the pillow and get to work!
If it's missionary just grip his neck, get real close to his face so he can feel your breath, and welcome him to pound town. All aboard the slut-Kenshi-out train
Raiden
Secretly a whore. The first green light into pegging territory, you could see his pearly browns sparkle in excitement and eagerness. He's relatively chill and calm about it at first because he didn't want to scare you away, but that's gone in an instant when you actually do the deed
Walks up to microphone Raiden...enjoys the prepping damn near more than the actual pegging. This pretty boy sure loves to see you break out the lubricant and gloves just so you can get him ready. Bro is on the edge of the bed swinging his feet while you have the most devious look in your eye
He's 50/50 on sensual nights vs getting down and dirty. Literally has zero preference, just spread him!
Back to how I said he's secretly a whore, sometimes he does subtle things that get you riled up throughout the day so you can take it out on him later. It's kinda funny sometimes cause he can be vocal but he's more shy than ever, but he'll break soon, trust
Liu Kang
Out of everyone he'd probably enjoy it the most. Now hear me out, he's not used to something like this, so it may take some convincing, but it's very little. It's good that he was mortal before so this level of intimacy isn't completely out of bounds
Once you get the stamp of approval and you try it for the first time, he's in love. It's like all he wants to do. Like holy fuck, where has this been for all these eons? This is the ultimate relaxation and he gets to forget his worries for a few hours??
He's so fascinated that he'd be the one introducing YOU to different types of straps all the way down to the patterns. "A dragon one... have you heard of this one?" like damn bro we get it you fw dragons (literally 😹)
Given how calm he is he prefers slow and sensual. It's only when he's truly curious that he'd be like hmm...it certainly wouldn't hurt to try (prepare for his godly stamina to have you on the brink of death btw). also, there's no way he wouldn't request for his hair to be pulled 😮‍💨
Kung Lao
Kung Lao my beloved. Morphs into alpha with huge muscles and impeccable imagination. Kung Lao, the egotistical and prideful man he is would think he has the up on you simply because he brought it up before you did. This fine ass man can and will come prepared on his own, case full of toys and all
And if I said he likes to be tooted up with music in the back and you pulling his hair while being used like a barracks bunny, would you arrest me?? For speaking TRUTH? He's a whore your honor
He don't give a damn about slow and steady but he'll do it if you want to. Just know it will never end in slow and steady, the pace always seems to be picked up and all of a sudden he's strap-warming you as a punishment (he literally wanted this to happen)
Idek what more to say Kung Lao is a slut and I need him in a way that's concerning to women's suffrage. I will make that hat chucking dimple having sexy ass man a fucking mother, just you wait. [he is one of the first I will breed]
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lakesbian · 5 months ago
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also i will never forgive wildbow for including a scene where someone [checks notes] Jokingly Accuses Rose Of Incestuous Gay Attraction . solely so she has reason to go "uh, no, blake did NOT give me his attraction to women." fuck you. yes he did. she's bisexual now. she is. right there in the middle of the demon disaster, rose thorburn is becoming bisexual. she is suddenly noticing that isadora is blindingly hot and doing her utmost to stay cool and casual about it. standing there sweating while she suddenly gains the ability to "care about stuff" and also to notice isadora the sphinx's huge gigantic tits. i don't care WHAT wildbow says. Rose Thorburn Had A Bisexual Awakening During A Horror Beyond Anyone's Worst Nightmares. shes like ok all of a sudden i understand paige. is this thing on
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sanctus-ingenium · 1 year ago
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I love the moth guy a lot. Such a cool design! He's a photographer, too? What a funky little guy. Do you have more to tell about him?
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Patches is a large (about 1.6m long) sphinx moth descended from the family Sphingidae. He is based off of a combination of striped hawk moth and tersa sphinx moth and he is distantly related to both :)
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(source) (source)
I have to explain some of the setting - so every few million years, a mountain appears. It appears in the same spot on multiple different parallel dimensions, and it is there for maybe 45 years at a time. During this time is the only time these parallel worlds can touch, intersect, or meet one another. The last time this happened, members of the class Insecta came over, and found a different world with a ludicrously oxygen-rich atmosphere and some extremely energy-dense plants. They were able to develop, in the intervening years between then and the time of the story (think 1910s on earth) into the dominant life forms in this new world, many becoming quite large and developing complex societies and technology of their own.
The mountain reappears. This time, some of our insect characters (Nettle Rove [Staphylinidae] among them, though he is much younger than Patches and arrived at the tail-end of the time window) cross the mountain again, either by accident or on purpose, and find earth there, and human society. There's not enough oxygen there to fly or do much physical activity but they can still survive there and participate in a type of cultural exchange. So we have a First Contact type situation, but that's not what everyone really cares about. See, the humans have climbed the mountain and found at its peak, hidden in the clouds, a city. Completely devoid of life (even microbial), but obviously made by somebody. So the actual premise of the story is the exploration and mystery of this place.
Patches is 18 when the mountain shows up. He has just had a fulfilling caterpillar-hood of territorially murdering everyone he meets (kind of a solitary species! some members of Sphingidae will literally fight to the death if they meet as caterpillars) and, he is naturally extremely curious about the world outside His Tree. he meets his mate/bestie, Rosy Wing and while they do spend a lot of time terrorising everyone they meet, eventually they get interested in what's on the other side of that giant mountain. after meeting up with some humans trying to map the place, a camera-maker has a bright idea to send up Patches, who can hover very still in place, to photograph the strange lifeless city from the air (the humans are in full steampunk swing so obviously they have airships but atmospheric mixing between the different worlds makes it too dangerous to fly them, given that a stray breeze from the insect world might make a combustion engine blow the fuck up). the mixing is also sufficient to allow the insects to fly on the mountain but not for very long, meaning that most exploration of the city is on foot. The development of this aerial photography technique reveals that, from the air, the city appears disproportionately huge, and seems to stretch on for infinity. Because of this, and Patches' part in it all, an entire industry strings up for city exploration, and by Nettle Rove's time twenty years later, it has descended into bitter and violent rivalries between wealthy patrons funding expeditioneer teams. Murder is legal there (it's legal in insect world too. have u met insects? they love murder)
As for Patches himself, he is a barely-socialised semi feral freak with an incredibly upbeat and curious personality who is so so so devoted to Rosy Wing (who is.. similar, but more into people instead of cameras). Until their habit of harassing and thieving from randos goes poorly on a city expedition, and their entire team gets caught in a shootout. There were no recorded survivors. Our guy survived by playing dead but Rosy Wing was not so lucky. With Patches' hindwing in tatters, his only hope of being able to fly again and get of there was to use Rosy Wing's own hindwing as donor material. And that's how he got his name (he didn't have one before) :3
Rosy Wing was similar to an eyed hawk moth in appearance
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In Nettle Rove's time, there is a persistent rumour of some weird old hermit in the city. These claims are dismissed, but something's out there drinking the blood of random expeditioneers, and that thing might know more about what lies at the heart of the city than anyone else...
okay thank you for reading love u
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utilitycaster · 2 years ago
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look, I know polls are silly and fun and so I want you to understand writing this rant is silly and fun for me but EMON? Emon is the Critical Role Entry for Most Place of All Time? I must call bullshit. And so:
Friends, fellow critters, and people who have me blocked but hate read my blog each morning over breakfast: Emon is not even the Most Place on the Material Plane. It is not even the Most Place in Tal'Dorei. Hell, it's not even the Most Place on the fucking Bladeshimmer Shoreline, which includes a destroyed city now overtaken by bandits, and a cave system that hosts both a rift to the Far Realm and a different rock than residuum that can make a different magical drug than suude. Emon is if you took the aggressively mid vibes of Washington, DC and transplanted them to the inconvenient location and city of refuge for flaky people who avoid gluten for non-medical reasons of Los Angeles. The second Percival Frederickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III invents the motorcar that sumbitch is going to have traffic bad enough to summon Tharizdun. Also there's a literal pit of fire that's been burning for 30 years that both hasn't been adequately addressed but also doesn't really seem that interesting. Like oh a bunch of dragons destroyed your city? Big deal. Draconia got so fucked up it doesn't exist anymore, and at least Westruun has some fucking charm. At least Pike and Grog actually lived there, whereas Vox Machina got a house in Emon and proceeded to spend their time literally anywhere else.
Here is a brief list of places on the planet of Exandria in the Material Plane - not even across Critical Role's main campaigns/EXU, which includes such non-Exandrian places as "living city of people who mind-melded and escaped to the Astral Sea during a century-plus-long war of the gods"; "Ligament Manor"; "Ryn's groovy pied-a-feu, man I wonder what made the scorch marks on that furniture, anyway", and "THE MOON THAT IS ACTUALLY AN PRISON FOR A THING THAT EATS GODS AND IS POSSIBLY HATCHING" - that are more of a place than Emon:
Jrusar: 5 spires no waiting, sweet cable car system, city almost entirely destabilized by goo creatures as part of an overly complicated plot to blow up the aforementioned moon
Bassuras: (literally "garbagetown") Run by Mad Max gangs and everyone is cool with it; regular sandstorms; one of those gangs apparently sits atop a hive mind and NO ONE has examined this (except for them)?)
Whitestone: has a tree planted by one god over a buried temple to another god that was corrupted in the name of a third, shittier god; overrun by zombies but it's fine now; streetlights and two bears that are allowed to do whatever the fuck they want.
Yios: The canal system of Venice meets the colleges per capita of Boston meets the orcs from your fantasies, also there's some kind of kitchen-based organized crime ring so intricate it could be its own campaign (so, also like Boston).
Vasselheim: literally no one understands what the fuck its government system is. Old as balls. Temples everywhere! Temples full of trees. Temples full of blood! Temples full of an old guy who will kick your ass. A sphinx that regulates the monster hunter mini-game. Presumably the giant titan full of the ancient cannibal dwarf city is like, still there, as a new fixture, since I don't see how they're moving that.
The arctic: where teleportation doesn't work, there's a river of lava in the middle of the snow, ancient ruins full of snow globes full of actual people, and the Chaos Bisexual Emerald - and that's just a smattering of what Eiselcross has to offer.
Since this is about space and not time we can toss Aeor and Avalir too, since they once were places, and while we're at it whatever the fuck is going on with the Shattered Teeth and its permanent fog cloud and fish dream cult and capitalist shipwrecked merchants.
And, of course, any arbitrary square millimeter of Wildemount, frankly, has more Mostness than the entirety of Emon could muster under absolutely ideal conditions. But for the sake of one place per region, let's hand it to Rosohna (city of eternal night for practical purposes, built over the Evil God Headquarters); Uthodurn (underground! Giant goats! Elves and dwarves, living together, mass hysteria!); Hupperdook (steampunk gnome party city); Nicodranas (Fjord, Jester, Veth, Marion, and Yussa literally all live there at once; plumbing used to be courtesy of an imprisoned marid...but watch out); and Blightshore (Blightshore).
In conclusion: Emon is boring, nominating it was a mistake, there are literally sealed gods in other parts of the world and also way better taverns, good night, and what the fuck.
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puppyeared · 1 year ago
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werepuppy!!
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mercutiotakethewheel · 10 days ago
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I know this has been said like literally so, so many times, but like it's still, for now and forever, so fucking funny how chockfull Fablehaven is of queer subtext without the author seeming to mean to have included any of it at all.
To be completely frank (and kind of a bitch lol), though, I think most of it just comes from Mull being a bad writer:
All of his romances feel forced, in great deal because he never once seems to have a clue about what these characters actually like about each other beyond the superficial. Vanessa and Warren might be the most egregious example, and ironically the vibes on it are prolly the best of the fablehaven forced het couples.
relying too heavily on stereotypes of little kids -girly stuff like love is gross and boy crazy teenage girls which gives a lot of undertones both to kendras crushes and to seths ewww gross stuff
classic blunder of straight authors not thinking too hard about the pov implications of character descriptions, which so frequently appear in Kendra's sections that like exact schemantics of girlie's type --- hyper fem girls with an attitude
However, there's also this stuff, which just seems really genuinely cool set-up for queer concepts that I genuinely have no idea what went into them:
The first thing, literally the first thing we learn about Tanu, is that he isn't interested in romance.
Mr. Lich/The Sphinx kind of sort of opposite paralleling Lena/The Sphinx, wherein instead of Mr. Lich giving up immortality, he gives up mortality. devotion but like not. this could've literally been so genius.
Vanessa having all the trappings of a cw lesbian, not to mention the pointedly short nails, and her (until the last book) subversion of the femme fatale trope
And, then of course, there's Ronodin and Raxtus.
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ranticore · 28 days ago
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answering all my asks in a big bunch
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@help-system
it's kind of cool to think about actually & something i didn't consider (re: the implications for future generations). the reason he has to stay in a town flock isn't just because he's formed attachments there, but because he is vision-impaired and his feathers are fucked from lack of structural pigment and would struggle to live without the support system (for lack of a better term) of the town around him. his survival depends on living in a society. that also means he'll survive to pass on this trait when otherwise he would not. it's recessive so yeah could definitely be passed on!
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@focshi
Oh habitat & life habits change the look of the nests completely. for the ama plains eagle harpies I was imagining a kind of gourd-shaped woven bower.. sortaaa like this as the eastern edge of the plains (where they live) has emergent columnar basalt and it's on these big stone stacks where they make their nests. use rope and picks to secure the bowers to the columns and the king's eyrie (the tallest one naturally) is built around a log tied upright with guy-ropes driven into the stone. they are all flexible enough that they blow around a lot in the wind without suffering much damage (see pic below)
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in between them are net-like rope platforms and ladders as well as more 'spires' which are the trees propped upright on the columns. solid stone is the only safe 'ground' material to build nests on.
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@gardenergulfie many of the monsters were bound by additional magical rules on top of the "you are twisted into a monstrous form" main thing. i hadn't thought of many tbh but i believe sphinxes were more strictly bound by their riddle names rather than just doing it playfully by choice, i know there was more but it escapes me. i'll have to think of some!
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wyrms are cursed with immortality in a very classical sense so it would be impossible for Revelation not to be around in Cuinn's time. but ah... i wouldn't say it's in a good state
wildfire unfortunately is no longer with us. in mind & spirit anyway.
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For eagle harpies, baby-rearing is not communal. The parents swap brooding/hunting roles (one broods/warms the young, the other hunts, they barely get time to sleep). Once baby is old enough to fly it hops out and joins the other fledglings in their eyrie. Parents rarely have anything to do with them after that but they will occasionally stop by to deliver discipline if they feel their offspring isn't behaving properly.
Partnerships are monogamous (but if the king wants your girl then that's his girl for the night) and last as long as any relationships might; could be many years, could barely last a season. there's a stigma against breaking up while tending a nest so some harpies with relationship problems tough it out for the sake of the kids (this never works)
The king does not care about his offspring as people, only as tokens of his virility and strength. Kings often boast of how many offspring they have (and the All-King can have hundreds) but do they know all (or even any of) their kids' names? of course not
Regular cobs do most of the fathering because most flocks don't have a king and they have to reproduce somehow. There's no visible difference between the offspring of a king vs the offspring of a cob. eggs is eggs
Eagle harpy pens can lay up to 4 eggs in one nesting season. Sibling aggression is common in the early days and if unsupervised they can kill one another but that's seen as a sign of lazy and inattentive parenting UNLESS the baby being picked on was kinda runty and then it's their own fault for being a whimp and they should toughen up. Parents can lay unfertilised eggs but rarely do, it's similar to a false pregnancy. Unfertilised eggs are eaten. Harpies of different species base cannot interbreed, but bear in mind that harpy species diversity is overall much lower than birds.
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Eagle harpies are VERY protective of their eggs. It's not unheard of for other harpies of the same eyrie to steal their neighbours' eggs for various reasons (you can gain favour if you have one of the king's offspring in your nest....). many predators also might want to take some as well (sphinxes are... very ferocious predators of harpies, but also you gotta watch out for that little human who might have ambitions of being a falconer). parents will guard their eggs viciously.
I don't think it's unreasonable to imagine such a scam tbh... yeah sure take this egg it'll tooootally hatch into a big strong harpy. human falconers probably candle their eggs frequently to monitor them so i think they would catch on very quickly though hehe
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leupagus · 5 months ago
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Half of this fic is just me looking for more excuses to put in all the cool women that the show wrote out
Still working on the next chapter for the GOT rewrite from hell, but I had to write a little about how the fuck menstruation works in Westeros (other than "oh you can get married now!" which I refuse to believe is the norm) and also to introduce the Sphinx:
The next morning, Shireen woke up to find blood on her shift and a sharp sort of twist in her stomach, as though she'd swallowed a molten pin. The blood came out easily enough, with frantic scrubbing in the basin, but the pain grew over the course of the morning.
"It's your flowering," said Maester Alleras briskly, when she went to him in a tightly-controlled panic. "How old are you?"
"Fourteen," said Shireen, realizing the date. Her nameday had passed two weeks ago.
"And what do you know of flowering?" he asked, smiling slightly at her blush. "Forgive me, but Northerners have queer ideas of teaching their children about these matters. I do not wish to presume your level of education."
"I know it can last for a week or more," Shireen said, thinking of Mother's cycles, how she would confine herself to her rooms to endure the pain in solitude and prayer. "It's very painful and disgusting, but it allows me to bear my future husband's children and therefore is a gift from the gods."
"Hmm. Well, that is what you were taught, at least," grunted the maester. He got up from his desk, rummaging through the cupboard behind him. He was a tall, skinny young man with the deep brown skin and tightly-coiled hair of a Summer Islander, and shared their fondness for brightly-colored nails: they seemed to dance along the shelves until he plucked out a jar and presented it to her with a flourish. "This will help with the pain, and stop the bleeding after this cycle. People of the North use it a great deal."
"Is it moon tea?" Shireen asked, taking it gingerly and wondering at Maester Alleras's use of the term Northerners, which sounded different from People of the North. Perhaps in the Summer Isles, everyone on Westeros was a Northerner. "Why do they use it so much here?"
"It is," he confirmed, "and as for why..." He shrugged. "I've only just arrived in Winterfell, you understand, and as you may have guessed���" this said with another smile— "I was born elsewhere. But from what I've gathered, they must be careful when they have children. The North can only feed so many."
Shireen thought of Fire & Blood, which Father had read to her as a child. The Winter Wolves had been a company of Northerners, who had answered Lord Cregan's call to fulfill the Pact of Ice and Fire with Rhaenyra Targaryen. They'd been greybeards who had knowingly marched to their deaths, for such was the custom of the North back then: at the start of each winter, the old men of each keep and castle and holdfast would choose amongst themselves who would go out into the snows. Some would return home in the spring, having endured the cold or escaped it to find their fortunes in southron lands; most would not.
"Put a thimbleful of this into whatever tea you like best," Maester Alleras continued, gesturing at the jar, his fingernails catching the light as it streamed into the rookery. "Once a day, and come back when you need more."
"Shouldn't I ask—" Shireen bit her lip.
But the maester caught her meaning; his eyes narrowed. "Shouldn't you ask your parents? Yes, I suppose you should. But they should be here to be asked, and they should have told you the truth."
"What's the truth?" Shireen asked, instead of admitting that Mother and Father had never told her anything about it. She couldn't imagine either of them even mentioning the subject. All her information had come from books, or from Mother's complaints.
"The truth is that if a cycle is painful and lasts for a week or more, that is the sign of an illness, not the will of a god. The truth is that you may well find it disgusting, but it is merely something our bodies do and should never be a source of disgust or shame to you or anyone else." He glared, though it did not seem directed at her. "And as for 'bearing your future husband's children,' the truth is that they are your children, just as much as his — indeed more so, unless he carries them about for the first nine months after their birth. But you will not be a woman grown for at least another two years, and any man who wishes you to bear children until at least that time is unworthy of your hand or your love." He sat back down, his half-dozen maester's links chiming musically. "Now run along, little princess."
Lady Sansa was just outside the door, with her brother beside her. "See, I told you she smelled funny," Rickon said triumphantly.
Shireen scowled at him. "Shut up." It was kind of him, she supposed, to have worked out that something was wrong and to wait for her outside the maester's chambers. But Rickon Stark was the sort of friend who was difficult to be grateful for.
"Yes, please do, Rickon," Lady Sansa said, pressing a businesslike kiss on the crown of Rickon's head before turning him round by the shoulders and pushing him down the corridor. Rickon protested, but went all the same, and Lady Sansa turned back to Shireen. "Moon tea?" she asked, nodding at the jar.
Shireen resisted the impulse to hide it somehow. It is merely something our bodies do and should never be a source of disgust or shame. "Yes, my lady," she said.
"Come along, then," said Lady Sansa. "I have some excellent tea from the Arbor. How does that sound?"
"Could I have a hot water-skin, too?" Shireen asked, as Lady Sansa looped her arm through hers.
"Of course. And the lemon trees in the greenhouse have given up their first fruits — we'll have lemon cakes for lunch instead of venison." She smiled and Shireen thought that even if Sansa Stark never took another husband or had children of her own, she was still all the mother that the North ever would need.
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