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dopamineeymineymoo · 1 year

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suspension bridges || ghost x f!medic!reader

synopsis: you are an army doctor, callsign salvi, who had been on the field for even before you'd gotten that title. you'd been reassigned into task force 1-4-1 after your own taskforce had dissolved when it'd fulfilled its duty. you're a familiar face to multiple operators within the taskforce. one of them knows you for far longer than the rest.

warnings: medical inaccuracies, army inaccuracies, some medical jargon, some gore, implied medical procedures, inexperienced writer, more tags to be added as we go

author's note before we begin: I’m writing this to destress from the gruelling pressure of academics– i'm not a professional, but i do study some of the stuff i mention, specifically on the health-allied colleges; there is also the fact that I’m not from the west side of the world so I know jack shit on the actual mode of operations (except in theory, because that’s what I’m learning ATM). This isn’t meant to be accurate, these are just dumbed-down versions of stuff I already know– i might learn more stuff later on so I might add it onto the thing later on]

[this is part 1], [part 2], [part 3 to be posted]

2022

When your Task Force dissolved, with multiple members having dispersed to different tasks and duties, the different offices within the old base had been dispersed into various different locations. You had been given privilege. It wasn’t really within the higher-up’s control to assign you to a different base.

Overall, it had been awfully easy to convince you. Price knew his cards, knew the people he was pulling. It made sense that the task force he’d organized would have good chemistry.

It was amusing. Familiar faces are always a fun thing.

There's no rest for the wicked, is what you often hear. It always applies to people in your line of work, being both a savior of lives and its taker.

Of course, there's no better ice-breaker or introduction into the field than an emergency evac. The first time you'd been called into your new base had been when duty calls. There were some familiar faces on the team of medics you'd been assigned with, brief introductions and ranks were exchanged, and it's off to work.

Squeaks is one. A familiar face, one you'd worked with before albeit very briefly.

"Give 'em hell, doc." she'd said when you'd stepped into the ramp of the aircraft.

And hell you did give. It wasn’t an infrequent occurrence with your line of work where you had to be pulled out of your station to hop onto an aircraft to retrieve injured soldiers.

It’s been less than a week, about three days since you’d been reunited with some of your old patients, until your new patients ended up becoming recent.

“Reports as of ten minutes ago state that seven alert out of twelve, four obtunded, one is stuporous.” You take note, knowing that the rest of your team are listening in. Transcriptions of comms had been sent to you with data having already been filtered out appropriately. Need-to-know, is what it meant.

You eye two people, and in order call them out by their surnames. “Squeaks and Trinity, you’re on triage.”

“Yes Captain.”

“Reyes, Smith, Aisling, you deal with the seven. Make sure they don’t bleed out and add to the less pleasant numbers.” You move past them as they move to their station on the aircraft. “Body transfers to the cots are on Jones and Brown. Take them off the soldiers’ hands– keep them off too if there are any with cold feet.”

“The rest of us– two people require immediate intervention. One of them is in shock.” She hums, looking down at transcripts. “There were originally sixteen soldiers.” They knew what that meant. Two were KIA.

When the aircraft arrives in the landing zone, you and your team get into motion immediately. You help Jones and Brown in transferring the soldiers who can’t walk. Two soldiers that you don’t know personally help with setting the rest of the ones who need help walking inside the cot.

The one who was stuporous had fallen into a coma, but with a working pulse, and the four had varying levels of prognosis at the current assessment.

You’re used to this. The speed, the quickness in thinking and the steadiness while you work under these less-than-favorable circumstances. You’ve worked through worse, but that’s not a mindset you should get used to. Makes you complacent. There’s no room for complacency in this place.

“Captain Salvi!” Squeaks calls, “Five out of sixteen aren’t on the vehicle.” You hear.

You curse under your breath, “Squeaks, take over.” You wait for them to shuffle over and take over with keeping the soldier alive, before pulling back to walk towards the seven who were sat at the sides. From Squeaks, you take the tablet and swipe through the updated charts.

They’d reported the four missing names, reported well but unable to make it to exfil for whatever reason.

They all stand in attention– all who can, that is. “At ease.” You tell them. “Where are your superiors.”

One steps forward, “Ma’am, they’ve told us to head to exfil ahead of them.” He tells you. “They’re moving to another base, picked up by allies in Mexico.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Mexico?”

“That’s all we’re aware of as of now, ma’am.”

You breathe. Something's up, then. Your attention is called by the pilot in front. "Laswell's on comms." He'd said.

"Patch me in?"

“Watcher 1 to Echo 1-6, do you copy?”

“Solid copy, Watcher-1.” You retort, and look back at the soldiers before you. “Heal well, boys.” You say before backing off and walking back to the front of the plane.

There’s a crackle on Laswell’s end, before she proceeds. “Price needs you ASAP, but there’s no time for RTB. You clear for an impromptu mission?”

You curse under your breath. Not so much as an introduction. Is this how it's going to be? “Always.” You tell her. You're no stranger to these emergencies. “Not as much as a debrief, huh?”

“I’d say sorry, but you know how it is.”

“No rest for the wicked.” You say. “Think I can join them before they get picked up by Mexican Special Forces?”

“I’ll tell the pilot in advance to drop you off for RV.” Laswell tells you. “Watcher-1 out.”

You walk over to the cockpit, placing a hand on the seat. The other hand reaches for your ear piece to switch channels so you can speak with the pilot. “You got the coordinates?” You ask, and with the confirmation, you continue. “Don’t land. I’ll prep for HALO.” You tell him. “Three of them need immediate attention. I don’t want them dead on arrival.”

“Copy.” The pilot replies. You back away, and head towards the hamper where you check your kit twice for anything you’d need. While you were in charge of MedEvac, you knew the risks. As long as you were beyond the line of fire, there’s still always that chance of attack.

In this case, you were the attacker.

“Approaching RV point.” You hear in your ear. “Prepare for HALO.” High Altitude, Low Opening. You’re hoping that it’s dark enough that no one will notice the parachute– then again, this isn’t the first time you’ve done this.

Trinity walks over to you. “Captain–”

“Report to Brown. I’m headed off.” You shrug on the pack, and head towards the ramp. Before that, though, you turn to your team. Most of which are paying attention to you as you walk.

“Scott, Hudson, support with transfers.” You call, and the two of them nod. Their physique will help Brown and Jones with transferring the patients into gurneys with both haste and cautiousness.

Squeaks and Trinity approach you as you all move out of the aircraft, handing you their digitally inputted evaluations. You read through them as you move, swiping through the tablet as you read through the list. “That’s about it. Are we clear?” They all affirm.

You get a signal from the pilots. That’s all you need before you approach the ramp and drop in.

***

2001

It was a Saturday when Sergeant Simon Riley had first been forced on Medical Leave of Absence. This was on the insistence of the base’s, refusing to give him clearance until he’s deemed better, where he’d been assigned to a rehabilitation clinic not too far from his current place of stay– fortunately not too far from base.

The previous mission was bad– certainly not the worst that has happened, especially not the worst to come, but it was bad.

When the paperwork for the leave was undergoing process and Simon had been forced to confine himself to med within base, the perpetrator as to why he’d gotten hurt had been very accommodating to his whims– not that Simon had many of them, but the one who was supposed to receive the bullets (plural) that took Simon down. Doesn’t matter anymore– no man left behind, and all that.

You know what they say about people torn into bad situations– you should have seen the other guy is what he would have said if he had been in a lighter mood.

Except he’d damaged his peroneal nerve in the process.

Fortunately it’s something easy to get back from, but that’s with rehabilitation. Hence, where he’d first met you.

“Hello, Sergeant Riley.” You say, eyes twinkling with mirth and without that jaded look that he’d grown so used to witnessing in people within this line of work. You introduce yourself, first with your name. “I’m the one assigned to looking after your progression with your injuries– ultimately, medical clearance isn’t up to me, but anything I report goes into consideration. Anything you want to ask?”

“How long ‘til I’d get this off?”

“According to your chart–” you look through his charts. “Some weeks.” You hum, impressed at the prognosis. “Medical will clear you then– higher ups seem insistent in getting you back, huh?”

“I’m a good shot.” He tells you. “Some weeks, then– you any good in cuttin’ it down, Lieutenant?”

You laugh, waving in front of him. “Well, if you don’t fuck up your own injuries. Sure. Got a good prognosis anyway, considering the shit you’ve been through.” Then you remind him again to call you by your name. “And fortunately for you, your ass landed in my expert care.” There was a grin on your face as you told him that.

Overwhelming confidence in this. Infallible.

He’d been told that his injury hadn’t been so severe that it’d take him out of commission any time soon, but he’d been uncertain about that. It had been near damned frustrating to be so vulnerable. The injury is no scratch–that’s a huge chunk of his lateral knee fractured by the bullet, taking the nerve with it. While the medics had said otherwise, he just didn’t think someone could just regain proper function out of it again.

So when that stubborn pessimism is met with that near-blinding optimism–

It was hard not to believe in your confidence, and that was considering that Simon knew not to believe in good things.

The first day was for initial evaluation. You’d told him that you wouldn’t begin with all the exercises and stretching just yet. He’d been compliant.

For the first day, that is.

***

2022

Upon landing, you waste no time in moving towards RV. You made sure that there’d be no one following you, putting on the nightvision equipment you’d taken from the team that was pulled out for medevac. With a rifle in your hand, you traverse to the agreed upon location.

Only, you don’t exactly find them there.

“Bravo 0-6, this is Salvi, how copy?” You say into your comm, listening for the radio for any response. “Echo 1-6 to Bravo Team, how copy?” You wait about two seconds before your mouth opens to ask again, once more before you radio Laswell.

“Bravo-06 to Salvi, solid copy.” Price’s voice cracks on the radio, and you breathe out a sigh of relief. “Just got… held back a bit.”

“Give me a sitrep, Price.” You question, continuing to move around so that you aren’t a sitting duck at the RV point. “There’s no one in RV.”

There’s a chuckle on the other line. “We’re on the way, got held back for first aid. Someone decided to be stubborn and skip on the medevac.”

“Damn.” You hiss under your breath, word caught by the comm. “Based on the data I’ve got, there’s only the four of you– Captain Price, Lieutenant Riley, Sergeant Mactavish and Sergeant Garrick. Is that correct?”

“Affirmative.”

“Price, you aren’t injured are you?”

“Nope.”

“Good. I have a lot of choice words, then.” You say into the comms, knowing that the rest of them are listening. You were of a higher rank than the rest of them, which means that you can easily berate whoever got himself hurt and didn’t jump on medevac.

“Hell Runneth Loose.” Gaz utters under his breath, joining on the comms.

“That’s what I’m here for, Garrick.” You say. “Give me a location, set the RV at a midpoint so I can get a look at it.”

“Exfil would be further out.” Price points out.

“I have two working legs, Captain. I can use them.” You retort. “Details.” It was less of a request and more of a demand.

He tells you, and you move quick and silently towards the agreed upon location. It’s an abandoned building with a lot of debris, but standing strong enough for it to serve as a good and safe temporary camp.

You arrive first, so you scout the area for any hostiles that might be at site. There are none, fortunately, so it seems that whatever they had to deal with further West of the area hasn’t reached this place. Has to be one hell of a trip, if that’s the case.

“Echo 1-6 to Bravo Team, no sign of hostiles in the area.” You say with finality into the comm. “We’re clear.”

“Copy that Echo 1-6.”

You keep watch, keeping an eye on the perimeter in case the situation changes. Fortunately, it doesn’t, and it remains to be clear. “Approaching RV.” You hear a familiar voice on the comms.

But there’s the distinct sound of something that whizzes fast, piercing through air. You immediately duck, lowering yourself so that the wall could hide you from wherever the attack comes from. “Bravo Team coming in hot!”

“Couldn’t fucking warn me you’d had tangos comin’ over?” You hiss, raising your gun towards the perimeter, at the general direction from where you know they’d be coming from.

“A very recent development, in my defense.” Price hisses. “There’s not many, it’s manageable. You in a position to snipe, lass?”

“Affirm.” You tell him. “Get in the building, Cap, I’ve got overwatch.” You set up quick, shooting from the top of the building. You pray to whatever’s still left up there that they’ve got no RPGs– this building is doomed to fall in on itself and that’s just with the bullets encasing on already fragile wall.

And it wasn't likely, anyway. On foot, having gear like that is unlikely.

You take down as many assailants as you can, registering in your head who are friendlies by attire alone. Not usual protocol, given that you can’t be certain how positive your i.d. is of the people trailing so close to one group, but you can be certain at least that the one with the bucket hat is price and the rest that he’s allowing within his proximity are friendlies.

They come up the building, taking position and securing the area.

A hulking figure is placed beside you, heavy with a thump against the wall. You look up, seeing that it was Sergeant Mactavish who’d placed the patient on your side.

You turn your head towards Sergeant Mactavish, whose eyes shift between yourself, Ghost, and the battlefield. “Sergeant Mactavish-- pleasure to meet ya." You smile. "Hell of a first meeting, huh?"

"I'd say." Soap grins. "Need any help?"

"You take overwatch while I patch him up.”

Soap nods, shifting to take your position. “Roger that, Doc Sal.”

You didn’t need to look twice to be certain who it was that he’d dropped into your hands.

“I’d say it’s a pleasure seeing you again, Ghost,” You start with a smile. “But I believe that these are less than pleasant circumstances.”

The man leaned against the wall, debris falling between you both. He eyes you for a moment, before looking away and back to the battlefield. He huffs, not that you can hear it, and tilts his head forward in a nod. “Gotta stop meetin’ like this, y’reckon?”

You nod, “Line of fire seems to love you out there.” There’s a joke in there, a reference to a mission together once before. “Where are you hit, Lieutenant?”

“Left lumbar– just a graze.”

“Nice of you to be specific this time.” You quip, opening your pack to get the materials you need.

“Learned my lesson.”

“Whoever taught you must have ripped you a new one, huh?” There's amusement in your voice. "Hold still."

"I'd say." Soap grins. "Need any help?"

"You take overwatch while I patch him up.”

Soap nods, shifting to take your position. “Roger that, Doc Sal.”

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mackmp3 · 10 months

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dashboard simulator

mutual 1 : *picture of neil young with like seven pixels in it* oughh i can't even say she should have been at the club cos so much of her personality was not wanting to be at the club. she should have been at the farm

mutual 2 : *heartbreaking good omens meta* lol love these guys *ms paint gore meme* my baby angel <3 *gif set of The Kiss* they're so cute

mutual 3 : hey does anyone listen to throbbing grobbing nine inch ninch skinny pinny.

mutual 4 : *picture of gerard way's legs taken from very far away* WIFE she's co cute i need her

mutual 5 : *ask box flirting with mutual 4*

mutual 6 : lol here's some art i did in class today *stunningly realistic portrait drawn on the corner of a math test* *17 notes*

mutual 7 : *picture of bloody ribcage* she's like an angel. to me

mutual 2 : *twenty reblogs of good omens fanart in like four minutes*

mutual 8 : AHHHHH i can't beLEIVE i have to go talk to my professor AGAIN i just want to do my thesis on how this one french canadian folksong is actually highly representative of early 20th century morality struggles 😭😭😭 but NOOO apparently i need EVIDNECE TO BACK THAT UP

mutual 9 : haha guys is it normal to have like. random pain in all your joints. everyone has that right haha. *mutual 5 & like three other people shouting at them to see a doctor in the reblogs*

mutual 6 : oh yeah i wrote this poem ^-^ *most heartbreaking beautiful thing you've ever read.* *9 notes*

mutual 10 : rpf is moral & everyone should do it. anyways *picture of bob dylan* estrogen would have saved her

mutual 11 : david tennant tboy swag *12k notes*

mutual 4 : GERARDDDDDDDD

mutual 12 : * bunch of reblog of depeche mode pictures* oh yeah i remember seeing that concert in '87. love dave gahan <33

mutual 13 : *screenshot of david tennant* i thikn i hauve. covid

mutual 14 : *highly specific post* oh yeah reminds me of when i was an extra in an indie horror film my friend was making that was fun

mutual 4 : i miss my wifr gerard

mutual 7 : *saw bathroom scene gifset* *carrie covered in blood gifset* i nEED THISSSSS. want to be SOaKed in bLOOD. someone stab me i mean kiss me

mutual 1 : do you think csny ever had synced periods

mutual 4 : where are you gerard :(

mutual 15 : hey has anyone ever heard this song?? it's so good one of my favourites atm *link to a live bootleg of an unrelased song by a goth band no one else has heard of*

mutual 4 : gerar.d way

#anyways #some of these are real posts but disclaimer these are not aimed at anyone in paticular #dashboard simulator #yes my dash does look like this sometimes lol i love it

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 1 year

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Do you have any knowledge what being trans in wales is like? Like just navigating everyday culture yknow, I’ve seen the lgbtq acceptance plan from the government and ngl cried reading it but I’ve been able to find no indication online of how much that attitude is reflected in healthcare, whether or not people will refuse to serve you if the name you give doesn’t match their perception of your gender, etc. I’m trans and planning on moving to wales next year and am curious.

I'm going to throw this one open to the floor. I can tell you that my trans friends are happy enough - very occasionally they encounter some mouthy bigot who hears the pronouns and starts yakking about 'biology', but none of them have ever been denied service. Healthcare is a state all over the UK atm, so there are some issues there, but not the nightmare you hear of in parts of the US; that said there's a basic issue of cluelessness with a lot of doctors. But that's people in my specific bubble, of course.

Welsh trans folks, feel free to chime in if you wish!

#asks #trans issues #WALES!#closed for cleaning on mondays

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howmanyholesinswisscheese · 9 months

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Welcome!

It’s come to my attention I don’t have an intro post (could’ve sworn I did but it’s disappeared somewhere) so here it is :)

IMPORTANT: DONT send me your fundraiser or gofundme, I cannot verify it so I will simply block you.

Hello!

You can call me Arthur

He/him 🏳️‍⚧️ (pronouns.page)

Peppa pig was not my sexual awakening she just made me sound British. Yes I’m the guy who gave the Good Omens Mascot dad issues. No comment.

I’m aroace but it’s all a bit hand wavy, autistic, trans masc (ish???), and overall a bit of a mess. Enjoy my flailing.

I write fics sometimes

Multifandom (Good Omens, EPIC, Sherlock Holmes, etc) blog with a hefty serving of shitposting and family drama.

DMs and asks are open, I’m always up for a chat. I mean it. Tap on the glass. TAP ON IT.

Send me writing prompts!

More info under the cut (fandoms, other sites, tags)

Fandoms I’m into right now:

Good Omens (background interest atm)

Sherlock & Co (COME YELL AT ME ABOUT THEM)

The Odyssey/Iliad (PLEASE YELL AT ME AAAHJGKG)

And various other random stuff if I feel like it

Other things I post/rb about:

Asexuality

Neurodivergence

Writing

Adoptive family drama (under #the fam)

And shitpostery.

Other sites I’m on:

AO3

Discord - DM me for that if you’d like it

The Fam FAQ

It terrifies me that this is at a point that I must make an FAQ, but I will.

"Arthur, what the fuck is the fam?" you ask.

I don't know either. All I know is I've managed to amass several adoptive children, a mother, a brother, multiple niblings, a wine aunt, and a reputation.

I'm your dad. Your cishet deadbeat dad. That is the extent of the information available to my bewildered brain.

"How can I join the fam? Do I need to be good friends with you?"

Just send me an ask!!

Good news, the fam is like a subway sandwich: there are so many options available to you and you don't need to know the names of any of them to point and go "hey underpaid customer service worker, I want that one". Point is, I love you, welcome to the fam.

"But Arthur, what's my role?"

*Commercial voice* To chose from, you have...

adoptive child (very popular option. i will call you champ whether you like it or not. and bonus: chat with me over games of catch or golf like a true cishet dad does, and permanently be a better child than @weirdly-specific-but-ok will ever be)

nibling (general version of niece/nephew) (join @queermarzipan and @hoarder-of-dragons, i will still call you champ even though im your uncle)

grandparent (aka one of my or my (absent) wife's parents, this is @hell-hath-no-fury-like-love, my disapproving mother)

sibling (be the weird aunt/uncle to, like, seven or more strange and traumatised children)

by request, you can also become an in-law if you find a willing maggot to marry (@random-doctor-on-the-internet happy now)

i can't think of any other relations but if you come up with one YOU ARE COMPLETELY FREE TO CLAIM IT

you can be anything -- in the end of the day, you'll always be better than @weirdly-specific-but-ok :D

My tags:

#let me tempt queue — queue tag

These others I really should implement but half the time I forget. Good luck.

#arter speaks — my own posts

#arter writes — any sort of writing or prose I end up doing

#arter flails — long reblog chains, general idiocy

#arter gets needlessly patriotic — I somehow seem to post a lot about australia. I don’t even like it here.

#the fam — I have somehow managed to adopt several children, I try to tag our shenanigans with this for Memories, feel free to block it as they often take the form of very long rb chains

#arthur's snazzy gomens teacher au -- what it says on the box. Tags for my good omens teacher AU: "Love As A Hallway And Several Novelty Mugs".

#arthur’s numerous adoptive children #and niblings — adoption records

Don’t really have any others. This blog is as unorganised as my thought process.

#arter speaks #intro post

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rhodophoria · 4 months

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thank you for tagging me @covfefeships !! finally got around to finishing this lol

Do you make your bed? kind of? i pull the sheets up but it's not perfectly pressed and put together

Favorite number? don't really have one!

What’s your job? in between serious careers atm but on the side i'm doing data entry and managing websites

If you could go back to school would you? ehhh maybe a loooong time in the future, if i absolutely needed the certification for something

Can you parallel park? not well lmao

Do you think aliens are real? sure. gotta be something somewhere.

Can you drive a manual car? nope, never tried!

What’s your guilty pleasure? cheddar and sour cream chips. i fucking love that shit but they give me awful acid reflux so i try to stay away

Tattoos? not yet. am still pondering designs

Favorite color? either an oxblood red or dark, electric purple

Favorite types of music? i'm all over the place, but i mostly listen to alternative r&b, rock, and electronic/synthpop.

Do you like puzzles? i guess? depends on how you define puzzles. i really like word searches and stuff like sudoku

Any phobias? bugs, but specifically ones that fly and/or bite. the buzzing noise freaks me out. i've had really bad experiences w/ getting swarmed and chewed up lol

Favorite childhood sport? probably a tie between swimming and softball. i think i enjoyed softball the most though.

Do you talk to yourself? not a lot, actually. if i do it's all internal and never out loud.

What movies do you adore? all of my favorites are always adventure/action, and usually either sci-fi or fantasy

Coffee or tea? both! coffee in the mornings, tea in the afternoon/evenings.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? doctor maybe? or something similar. i used to be fascinated with medical shows/surgery documentaries when i was like 4-5 lmao

i'll taggggg @vii-naught and anyone else who'd like to share!

#{🌹💬}

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medievalanchoress · 2 months

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1. is there any particular things that you want to purchase atm (outside of necessities)? 2. is there any little mantras you tell yourself each day or semi regularly that have been helpful for you? 3. are there any specific things that bring you comfort during hard times?

oo great questions!! 💓 1. my current decadent, out of budget wish is a pair of Gianvito Rossi pumps for the fall. i'd also like to buy a dragon stuffy for my cats (since they like to knead on fuzzy things) but the one i want is out of stock. :'(

-2. i try to ask myself, "how would i feel about this if i wasn't led by fear?" which doesn't always solve things because i do have a lot of genuine fear but it can help me see things differently. i often tell myself "i'm wounded, not broken." i also try to look for what i call a little candle moment, just something i'm grateful for or a moment of clarity, and then i imagine myself gently shielding the flicker of its light + warmth with my hand.

-3. i lighten my mood by talking to my sister + cousin, who i can gossip and be silly with. i'm also oddly comforted by re-watching House MD (the fantasy of a doctor who will fix my migraines lol?). honestly i'm still working on finding more inner resources for hard times.

#personal #thank you<3<3<3 #someone who follows me is bringing ask culture back

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stem-sister-scuffle · 8 months

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STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 16

Kal'tsit (Arknights) vs Entrapta Princess of Dryl (Netflix She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Kal'tsit is a Medic and Pharmacist!

Entrapta Princess of Dryl is a Roboticist, Programmer and First Ones' Tech Historian/Archaeologist!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Kal'tsit:

"Kal'tsit is the Officer-in-Charge for Rhodes Island's Medical Department and she uses her expertise to heal other operators in battle while being apart of the battle herself. Kal'tsit seems to be one of the closest characters to the player character "Doctor", being familiar with their past while Doctor has no clue due to amnesia. Apparently she has been around for quite a long time and, old lady jokes aside, due to all the experience she has she seems to be one hell of an op operator (though I have been unable to play Arknights myself so I am relying on the information of multiple different people who do play). Also she is my wife I love her <3"

"first of all, she is a cat woman (she is very old)... her companion is a green dragon crystalline monster whom she has a symbiotic relationship with... they understand each other and kal'tsit also commands them in battle she oversees the medical branch of rhodes island which is a research & pharmaceutical company trying to find the cure to the fatal rock disease that plagues this world and kills you slowly :( despite living in such a harsh world, she never stops fighting for and helping the people... even tho people want to kill her, she remains kind she mentors all sorts of people and trains them to be future doctors and in the game itself she is classified as a medic! hiiiiii demi its me lapis teehee i hope u have fun hosting this too!!!!"

"My beautiful catgirl ex-wife. She has definitely been alive for millennia, is a passionate ally to the downtrodden (you know, to atone for her previous history of war crimes), and founded a pharmaceutical company that largely does charity work for sufferers of the setting-specific incurable magic rock cancer. She's psychically bonded with the xenomorph-esque monster that lives in her spine. She wants to kill me. <3 For added context to the above, when I say "me" and "my" above, I refer to the player character of Arknights, the otherwise-unnamed "Doctor." While it is unlikely that Kal'tsit and the Doctor were ever literally married, the particular nature of their closeness, implied history, and current co-parenting has lead to "the ex-wife" to be a near-universally accepted fandom nickname for Kal'tsit. In a game full of hyper-competent characters with mysterious pasts, Kal'tsit is both the most competent and the most mysterious, and is genuinely a major factor in my fondness for Arknights itself."

"(cracks fingers) here we go-- dr. kal'tsit is a wise and kindhearted individual who travels and helps as many people as she can in need. when you first encounter her in the game, she comes off as cold and harsh, cutting straight to the point. however, that's only because the player character probably did something really awful (unknown atm). in events where we were able to explore her backstory and see how people reacted to her, we find out that she will save as many lives as she could through tactical negotiation, but she is ready to fight as needed if people fail to consider her warnings. as a doctor with an incurable rock disease (incuritis 2 JDHEJDJFKE), she understands the pain of that illness and administers help to people who get infected, no matter who they are, even if theyre some rando in the village woods. she also created a type of poison that would help in a quiet assassination, something that wouldn't be immediately detected by other forensic scientists until it was too late. i know i said that she tried to save as many people as possible, but this situation was a bit different. i would expand on it but i might be rambling a bit too much, but basically shes got a complex set of decisions and loves humanity a bit too much and also has the skills to back it up.she rocks both a maid outfit and a suit in canon"

Entrapta Princess of Dryl:

"She builds robots!!! She's curious and inquisitive!! She loves her robots!! She has the coolest hair and also I want to be her bestie. She's an absolute love"

"autism :)"

"Builds robots and computers for fun and companionship. Can take apart and understand almost any tech she is presented with. Autism lever set to max and I love her. Mandatory boob window in all her outfits and I've never related harder to a character."

"autistic icon, amazing inventor and app round excellent character"

"she has prehensile hair it’s literally the best thing i’ve ever seen in my life, it’s never once acknowledged by any of the characters as abnormal or explained in any way i’m literally obsessed with it. also autism queen"

"PIGTAILS!!!! autism"

"Entrapta is very bubbly and positive. She never lets anything like losing her friends or going to the bad side or getting put on a death-sentence island stop her from scientific pursuits! She actually drives a lot of the conflict in the story, as she explains the technological backstory of the world, and helps both sides be better at fighting. She loves data, doing experiments, and the scientific method. She's also in love with space. She is an autistic queen <3"

"phenomenal canon autism representation without being weird & shitty. also she’s so strange & wonderful & relatable in so so many ways. my computer is named Darla bc that’s what she named the AI for the spaceship in s5"

"She is THE science queen because she loves science so much and her love of it is INFECTIOUS. I don’t know anything about science but Entrapta makes it seem like the coolest thing in the universe. I love her"

"She ourple. I luv her"

"She's so passionate about her work. Takes through notes! Figured out how to hack her home planet!!! She's autistic as hell and I like her overalls."

"You won’t get autism like this anywhere else bestie"

"amoral mad scientist who flips between the good guys and bad guys, loves building so many inventions, ends up converting the head bad guy (for most of the series) to good through the power of love"

"She has outfitted her entire castle to be a maze, and installed electronic locks on some. Her staff seems to be mostly robots she has built herself. In good part reverse engineering or adapting ancient tech found on the planet. She's incredible at what she does and personally fixes, invents and builds a wide range of stuff from space ships to portals to a prosthetic exoskeleton to trackers to war machines. She can do it all. Autism win! Girlie has been criticised for being treated childlike or being unable to understand those around her to a ridiculous degree, but I'm honestly just glad she's not a Sheldon Cooper. Her favorite bots have personalities and therefore implied AI (but not the shitty kind), which means she's pretty fucking good at software too. She likes tiny foods."

"So very autistic about technology. Initially believes robots are way better than people, eventually makes human friends but also very much still has robot friends (I love Emily so much). Gets so excited about finding new First One's tech. Also her happy spinning around in a space suit in that one season 5 episode heals my heart every time I watch it"

"She's the planet's leading expert on ancient tech (sci-fi/fantasy universe) and develops most of the tech in the show and is very autistic about it. i love her"

"She is fun and funky. Chaotic neutral. Definitely some autism coding going on, which is very charming. She has a pet robot? It is cute"

"Bc she is ENTRAPTA!! No srsly she is such a well-written character. At times kinda morally grey but always lovable and great and she is truly amazing at what she does!! I'm pretty sure she's already been submitted but I wanted to make sure :)"

#stem sister scuffle #round 1 #kal'tsit #arknights #arknights kal'tsit #entrapta #she ra #netflix she ra #spop #spop entrapta

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backwaterheroics · 4 months

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𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙!

repost, don't reblog!

NAME : rowen

PRONOUNS : she/her/my liege; we is also common i.e. 'we here at strife industries' etc but it's really just for self-reference

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : carrier pigeon maybe? i'm really bad at all kinds of communication tbqh. we can get some walkietalkies tho & i promise i haven't ever forgotten about u /phil collins voice, u'll be in my heart

chatting on tumblr ims is fine & i do have a discord ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ u can even have my whatsapp if u want, but standard messaging & data rates may apply. talk to ur doctor if rowenix is right for u

NAME OF MUSE(s) : this here is my boy kuraudo sutoraifu-waifu but i've written a few other characters here and there; cloud is the only rp blog i have any semblance of presence on atm tho - he is my forevergirl, my homeslice, my big chalupa. for ffvii specifically, i've also written rp for elena and rufus

BEST EXPERIENCE : you! i've met all my best friends through rp which is probably why i'm still even around in the rps

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : i don't like it when ppl say they do not like the chara i am literally writing at that moment. so like, if you don't like cloud, why are you here..... we don't have any money... we've got nothin for ya.... pls smash that unfollow button and do not hit the notification bell....,other than that tho, i don't really care. it's the internet. i've seen 4chan

MUSE PREFERENCES : paris hilton voice; i'll take five more of these little blonde bitches; fr tho i like charas who have issues with the self/who have a man vs self literary conflict kinda thing going on. i also like side-chars who don't have a lot of lore coz then i don't have to start from scratch like with an oc, but i still have freedom in the preassembled sandbox u kno?? i don't have time for a rowenverse

PLOTS OR MEMES : spontaneous stuff is easier for me; plotted stuff can get too detailed and then i freak myself out about it bc of anxiety about quality & expectations. that aside, i'll do either. if we go plotted i'd rather go 'lightly plotted' as in we talk about an idea and then just run with it, with minor course corrections as we go should the plane not take off as expected

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : i personally tend to match length but sometimes the words just gotta come out and your one to three liner will have a 500 word reply. i have no preference from what i receive to what i give. it just is what it is and i'm grateful ur even taking the time to spend it with me

BEST TIME TO WRITE : when something else more important needs to get done. we love executive dysfunction. like right now, i should be finishing up a work project for tomorrow's meeting and yet....

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : our sense of humor is the same, or at least similar... cloud's social awareness is probably better than mine. neither of us talk a lot. is that good enough????

TAGGED BY: vctlan & then everyone i'm following who is still active has already done this i'm pretty sure... so if you haven't been tagged before and u see this, then i'm tagging u ok -- tell me abt u and be my friend

#tbd #i also need to clean my carpets and the kitchen and the wood floors... laundry.............. all the various adhd Doom Piles of Things #we're here tho & it's fine

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lalalaugenbrot · 9 months

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15 questions + 15 friends tagged by @nougatbit

1. Are you named after anyone?

i don't think so but as far as i can retrace my name it's greek, somehow ended up in russia and then was made popular outside of russia via doctor zhivago's lara/larissa... (still have to read that!)

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cried from an allergy i have to certain skin cremes last night at the cinema... apart from that i don't remember atm but certainly not long ago

3. Do you have kids?

nope

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

i did swimming when i was like 14 (i still like swimming a lot but i'm not in a club or anything anymore)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

no :-)

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

this has always been a weird question to me... their??? face?!?!! (*laughs nervously* wouldn't that always be the first thing to notice about someone???)

7. What's your eye color?

blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

a weird opposition. i don't really like horror movies and i prefer the ending a story needs and deserves, so some stories (e.g. a story on two traumatised young men who love and need each other more than anything or anyone else in the world in a mediocre prime time crime show) certainly deserve a happy end, other stories (e.g. a film that displays some severe social grievances) often should not have a happy ending because there isn't one to be expected in reality either... except for sometimes, for example, when it is about two queer men in 1913 Britain, finding and loving each other against all odds and all social norms, written by a gay man in the same era, then of course a happy ending can be imperative even :-)

9. Any talents?

people don't tire to tell me how ~creative i am... and that despite my apparent total lack of (visual, auditory, sensory) imagination 🙃 so there's that

other than that... i think i am good with words and i write since i literally can write and nothing brings me more joy than having written.. writing has been like the most important thing in my life for 26 years now even though it has always been something that happens more like 'in the background' of everything else

10. Where were you born?

in one of the (imo) most village-like "Großstädte" of Germany... if i told you where you'd probably know it because of one specific thing... i've been all the way to other continents and people knew it just because of that

11. What are your hobbies?

most hobbylike things are probably analogue photography, building stuff around the house (shelves etc.) and going to the cinema (or like film in general)

12. Do you have any pets?

no, but i had mice and i miss them... if i had more time and more space to have an adequate place to keep them i'd like to have mice or rats again...

13. How tall are you?

1,73

14. Favorite subject in school?

hm. not sports. i had a 'compulsory optional course' in physics/informatics and i always say it changed my life bc that's where i understood that i like and am good at technical and computer stuff... i also liked pedagogy (nrw superiority), the obligatory history course in 12th grade specifically and in the last years also maths... god do i miss solving math problems 😭😭

15. Dream job?

i wrote this in my friends journal when i was like 10 and it is still true but i think i am a bit past the point where this will ever happen but it's 'director ' (of films)... but that involves networking and other people and putting yourself out there... and uh... i just don't see that happening (i have directed but not in the slightest professionally), the other one of course has always been 'author' and i guess that could still happen... someday in the future maybe... you know, when I'm a grown-up

tagging: @diersten @tiny-steve @sinnsenke @mcfif @black-cat-aoife @silverysnake @free-piza @lachricola

#tag things

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xsezzie · 6 months

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Heyoo, if you're still doing the game would you be interested in doing my HSR team?

My team is currently Trailblazer (Stelle), Dr Ratio, Sampo Koski and Misha! (Misha's carrying me ATM... I haven't been playing long 😭)

Thank you!

Hello!!! I can certainly do yours 🤗❤️

who’s the most ticklish character

Little Misha 🥺

who’s the character that most people would assume is ticklish, but actually isn’t

In a world where there’s someone who isn’t ticklish, I would say this applies to Dr Ratio 🤭

who’s the character that everyone gangs up on and tickles

Sampo 💀 He deserves it hehe

who’s the character that somehow knows everyone else’s tickle spots and reveals them to others

Dr Ratio because he’s the doctor. He probably finds out by accident if does any checkups on someone

who’s the character with one specific tickle spot that only one other person knows about

Stelle is good at hiding her ticklish spots, but Ratio knows 👀

who’s the most likely to win gang tickle wars

My money is on Stelle 😎

which character didn’t even know they were ticklish until another character tickled them

Misha! He finally has a group of friends to mess around with, and Sampo and Stelle are always giving him tickles :3

which two characters have tickle fights all the time

Sampo and Stelle… I think Ratio and Misha should just break out the popcorn and watch every time they get into a tickle fight LOL

#honkai star rail tickling #tickling #asks #ask game #dr ratio #hsr misha #hsr stelle #sampo koski

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108garys · 2 years

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Cracked

@kassiekolchek22 @mistmoose @delurkr @lonnitamongus @maria-rayro @ctrvpani @oblivious-troll-main @ultrabananapudding @ivycross @myscprin @eddie-brii So I randomly dug this out of my drafts to finish up, it's basically the idea of a worst case scenario for Charlie being captured with the modifier of the background of the perfect shot au, specifically resentment, consider it a strange thought experiment on my part, I think I do alright for corrupted Charlie(also I went back to it after who knows how long, wrote the rest of it and read it through, I not be the best judge as its like 5am atm)

it do be a dark offshoot of a dark offshoot of a hyper specific au, enjoy

Dehumanization. That's what it was, Charlie had all his original parts and no hint that anything extra would be added but he simply wasn't a person anymore. He was a thing, taken from his box to be poked and prodded and played with before eventually being carefully stored away in the dark. It was his fault really, after he'd survived the fire he'd hidden.

It hadn't been his intention to abandon his team but they had been killed before he could even consider a plan of action and when he discovered this fact he'd continued to hide around the island. He should have left. Taken the ferry and told someone, anyone, but he was afraid of being caught. It really was his fault. There was a trail of blood behind him and horror ahead of him and maybe it was what he deserved.

A month? Longer? Eventually he was caught, it really was his fault, he stumbled across new guests near the entrance, being lead by a man he didn't recognize. It was insane but he tried to warn them and Du'met, real Du'met, didn't take kindly to that. All his methodical planing reduced to less then an hour of butchery, crude and artless. Charlie would come to find that they were the final group, specifically chosen to end Du'met's long efforts and to be the crowning achievement in years of work and what's worse Charlie had defied him, first by living and secondly by destroying his meticulous plans…

At first Charlie threw himself at a mercy he knew did not exist, falling to his knees begging, praying, for freedom? His life? Or merely that the end would be quick, he was uncertain. Du'met stared at him with such an intensity that he was back in the furnace. He had nothing to bargain with, not even his life and for all he'd fought throughout the years he relented to the mercy of a man who had none…

The details were hazy when he came to he found himself in a small soft space devoid of light, lacking defining features. For a moment he feared that he'd simply been buried alive but he was standing, feet planted solidly in the void and he was a man of 29 again, strangely comforted by the knowledge that Du'met could never bury him deeper than the hell he'd crawled out of. The first crack formed, his senses were dull in this formless space but unspoken truths arose, he had survived worse.

With no other guests and no time limit, a routine asserted itself. Charlie was transferred to a room somewhere deep in the castle, there was no visible door but Charlie knew where Du'met would come in. He'd sit on the edge of his cot, ready for the day.

He'd be taken to shower and take care of other bathroom needs, he quickly got over his hosts insistence on remaining in the room… It's not like he'd have any privacy regardless and at least if he could see him he'd know what he was up to, a sentiment that went both ways. It was Charlie's fault for being a flight risk and evading Du'met for as long as he had. Through it all he never looked away and although it wasn't as explicit, Charlie knew it wasn't different to 2003, when his life was in hands who cared about his fate significantly less than Du'met. At least he wanted it to matter in some arbitrary way…

Some days Charlie would be examined, at times it'd be as normal as visiting his regular doctor and others he'd be strapped to a table nude, Charlie was naked in front of the other man alot. He relenting to a more clinical detachment, Du'met, much like the faceless men who tested him a million miles away in a different time, was searching his flesh for signs, back then it'd been infection of his injuries or signs that he was turning… It mattered less and less to Charlie what 'it' was…

Du'met was fixated on the long claw marks across Charlie's hip, no matter what he compared it to the shape didn't match and more alarmingly, nothing in his knowledge of the Brit gave any clue for how it had happened. Charlie took no small amount of pleasure depriving him of that information, even if it'd end the examinations it may be that the man would simply kill him once his curiosity was satisfied. He was certain that Du'met intended to keep him in good health until then.

With certainty the crack grew and with it Charlie's confidence. He didn't doubt the man's intentions but what would he do after? Charlie crawled through hell to build himself the life he wanted but what waited for Granthem Du'met on the other side?

The next part of their schedule brought Charlie to the interrogation room that once held Manny Sherman, the first time they had sat hours in silence, ending only when Charlie divulged information, it didn't have to be important, the first time he talked about something trivial like food... After talking he'd been rewarded with the food he'd spoken about and after all his time scrounging around the island and further given only basic necessities to survive off it was a godsend to have a proper meal. The message was clear, tell the man what he wanted to know and his suffering would come to an end but Charlie must keep that part of his life under lock and key. The truth was deadly and even now the freedom on offer was nothing more than an end so Charlie avoided it, submerging himself in the memory of someone else. Charlie Lonnit had died in Iraq, he never went, Charlie Lonnit went to hell and an empty person shaped thing was left in his place, after all fear of return bled away he was calm. Not even Du'met could kill a dead thing, an inhuman shell of a bright eyed youth who lied to everyone in his life for twenty years, he knew it was true because Du'met had died too. That Charlie was long gone and this pretend Charlie sat in the room where Manny Sherman once was. Du'met's latest obsession…

He had found Hector Munday's secrets in the darkness and hid them away with his own like embracing skeletons of the people they should have been, feeling with certainty that he knew more about Du'met- No Hector, then the other way around. It gave him a certain power and as that last piece fell away Charlie saw that 29 year old who couldn't defend himself, saw a man hanging from his every word and a clear line to cross. He took a deep breath, preparing to lay it all out…

"I'm sorry I ruined your plans, Hector," the masked man payed a little more attention, Charlie had never called him that before, "All your hard work will have an unsatisfactory payoff in the end." Charlie looked at his reflection in the two way mirror, he wasn't sure when he stopped making facial expressions but if Hector insisted on hiding behind a mask then Charlie would give him nothing in return.

"It's the only way it could have gone, you have no life left to live and you would have figured that out sooner or later." Hector didn't move, he was recording Charlie's words as usual and the room was dead silent other than Charlie's voice. "I just gave you a reason to prolong the inevitable." he leant forward a little. "You'll never forget me and you'll never feel satisfied again, I went through hell to reach my goals and you burnt it to ashes in one night… I wont be so merciful."

Even with his voice flat and emotionless, it was deliberately provocative, which would be forced to rise above this emptiness first? Hector surely understood that reacting in anger would be proof of Charlie's words… They sat in silence, two sets of empty eyes locked in a stalemate, no more alive then the many creations of Granthem Du'met. Soft breaths being the only evidence to the contrary…

"You know… The government probably knows about you." Charlie looked at Hector lazily. "It's true… You're not the only dirty little secret they tried to bury." Hector tensed up at this, Charlie had gotten pretty good at reading what little expressions he was given to work with. He knew this was what Hector had been waiting for and he could tell already that it would taste bitter…

"Maybe they'll kill us both and put an end to this delusion," Charlie spells out the threat, revealing a glimpse of how unprepared Hector is to see his hand, "It's actually sort of ironic… If you didn't fly off the handle and throw your life away you may have had access to the information you so desperately seek-"

The masked man stood up, his chair clattering against the floor. In a few short strides he rounded the table, kicking Charlie's chair out from under him, letting him hit the hard ground. He pulled Charlie to his feet and pinned him to the wall. Charlie was a little disorientated, it had been so long since physical violence had been involved that it seemed like a faded memory… If he died now he just might die as a person but Hector just held him, filling up his senses, Charlie wanted just one thing…

"OK! OK, you win," was it fear or condescension? Charlie couldn't tell anymore. "I'll tell you what you want to know… But I want just one thing from you." The masked man tilted his head, grip tightening as he weighs Charlie's words. "Let me see your face." They stared daggers at each other as a hand slowly moved to fulfil his request. They were still pressed close as the mask fell to the floor, Charlie couldn't suppress his shock. "You look remarkably like a man I met once!" He knew Hector had hangups about that sort of thing, it was written all over his much more expressive exposed face. Charlie composed himself… He could work with this.

"I watched him die," Charlie's free hand crept down to Hector's waist, he hadn't been cuffed in long time, what's the point of restraining a dead thing? "I can see it, when I look at you…" the unmasked man's face was intense, he needed to know more than anything in the world. Charlie continued, something small flickering into life inside him. His voice low and even. "There are much scarier things in the world then an emotionally stunted serial killer-"

Charlie's hand closed tightly at the same time Hector's did, a little more pressure and the bones in his wrist would give out but Charlie stayed the course. Keeping the pain out of his voice as much as he could. "I have survived far worse than you," He shoved some space between them, it was not nearly as unexpected as what came next…

"Thank you for reminding me of that." Charlie embraced him with one arm while the other was off balance…

Hector looked at the blade buried deep in his chest, he didn't react, the idea that Charlie could kill had never crossed his mind. He looked into his eyes and seen for the first time that Charlie had killed before… A truth buried so deep that Charlie himself refused believe it.

He never looked away from hector as he spoke, cold as he held the knife. "Monsters, secret involvement in a classified operation in Iraq, the deal I took for my life… It's trivial and irrelevant, you wanted to know me? Then know that I hated the man I killed, I justified to myself that it was a mercy because of his injuries, that it would be better than what ever other painful death awaited him and I wept for him, for the guilt of killing him… You're the only person to share my darkest secret and I won't cry for you."

He pulled back his hand and the blade slid out. Hector fell to the ground. In a strange way Charlie was right and wrong… Du'met never got the satisfaction of meeting his goal and Hector felt human again in his final moments, he looked up at the man covered in his blood and smiled… He had finally cracked Charlie Lonnit.

#the devil in me #the dark pictures anthology #the dark pictures the devil in me #charlie lonnit #the perfect shot #PS!charlie #PS!charlie Lonnit #Corruption arc Charlie #granthem du'met #hector munday #oneshot #Not sure if I should tag house of ashes or Du'lie/heclie and may or not do that

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 9 months

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Doctor Who, but Chronologically: 46

Well. Tonal whiplash.

We advance three years, to 1986, and therefore we go from an almost aggressively mid Gatiss story on a Russian submarine to World Enough and Time, the Capaldi season finale that opens with the Doctor stepping out of the TARDIS mid-regeneration (which we've seen! It was a WW1 story with Mark Gatiss as an actor! He's a much better actor than writer), then cuts back in time to show us lovely companion Bill being horrifically cyber-converted on a Mondasian colony ship. I wish we were still on that submarine.

LOADS of plot though WOW. We get so many answers! Can't wait to update the list. The story proper starts with Bill, the ever-confusing Nardole ("I should go back to being blue" he muses at one point, because what the fuck is he), and of all people, Missy. They step out onto a 400 mile long colony ship stuck by a black hole which therefore has fun timey-wimey stuff going on whereby the top of the ship is moving much more slowly in time than the bottom. This is, to be clear, an absolutely fantastic concept to base a sci-fi horror story around, but only if you have a writer capable of spotting plot holes big enough to drive a bus through, which alas we do not have, so the whole thing is permeated with a constant urge to scream "JUST GET BACK IN THE ELEVATOR YOU FUCKING IDIOTS" at the screen.

So. They arrive, and Missy is pretending to be the Doctor while he listens in from the TARDIS. She describes Bill and Nardole as "Exposition and Comic Relief."

"Those aren't our names," Bill says.

"They aren't names, they're genders," Missy replies.

We are then treated to a flashback in which the Doctor says Time Lords don't care about genders and their associated stereotypes. This juxtaposition seems to be entirely unintentional.

BUT! So many answers. The Doctor explains that Missy is his oldest friend and a fellow Time Lord (our first Other Time Lord! Interesting, since we've been told repeatedly that the Doctor is the only one left.) They were friends together in the Academy, they've both changed gender since, and she's very like him so he wants her to be good.

"She's a murderer" says Bill, and the Doctor straight up compares sapient people to animals in an analogy I suspect Moffat thought was Really Clever, but I suppose it's a very Colin Baker response. In any case, this is presumably why Missy was living in a vault in the TARDIS, and could fly a TARDIS, and it confirms now that she is not, in fact, another regeneration of River. Origins for both! Huzzah. Let's see what's happening back on the ship.

A blue man immediately shoots Bill for being human.

Ah.

He does this because as soon as they arrive, the lifts start moving and rising to their current floor, and whatever is inside is specifically attracted to humans. The Doctor could in fact have prevented him shooting, but rather than actually stressing to the blue man that he will just put Bill back in the TARDIS to hide her, he instead chooses to go on an extensive self-aggrandising monologue about how great he is and is still mid-sentence when the lifts arrive so blue guy just fucking blasts a dinner plate sized hole right through her chest. Some patients in bandages step out, and take Bill's cooling corpse for 'repair'. They go down in the lift.

So at this point two things happen, to whit:

Bill wakes up in a hospital with a sort of coffee maker strapped to her chest, and spends the episode variously befriending a weird fake Russian (why so many fake Russians atm?) with a nakedly rubber face. His name is Mr Razor, and he does provide excellent comic relief. It turns out that the bottom of the ship has been here for generations and so is decaying - the air is engine fumes, the walls are rust, so some medical personnel are trying to upgrade everyone so they can move up in the lift and escape to a higher floor.

The Doctor realises the time difference as the lift with Bill is still going down. Rather than immediately following, he spends ten minutes explaining how black holes warp time to the blue guy who is not even going to be coming with him, and whom they ultimately abandon. This means Bill is down there for years.

Still, good to know the limitations of the TARDIS, eh? I mean, everything would have been solved if they'd simply been able to, I don't know, materialise outside the ship at a safe distance and then tow it away from the black hole. Clearly black holes must defeat the TARDIS. Got it. I shall remember this for future stories.

Anyway, here are several issues:

Of the 50 odd staff who were running this empty colony ship, many went down to the bottom floor when they first got stuck by the black hole. At this point, they did not bother going back up in the lift. Instead, for reasons that are entirely unexplained, they decided to stay down there and form a society, so the ship is now filled with their descendants. We literally know the lifts work; the people came for Bill immediately. There is no reason for the original staff to have done this.

The only difference it should make is that the blue guy would appear to the crew to have not moved in the ten minutes they were down there. They absolutely could still get back, though.

Like I have had days when I have felt 1000% done with my job but I have never decided to just build a house where I'm standing and start a colony so I don't have to go back to the office.

Perhaps, Tumblrs, you are wondering, like me, why the people on the bottom floor now can't just. You know. Get in the lift. Once again, in order to get Bill, several patients immediately got in the lift and came up for her, and then returned with her. So they do literally know it's possible. Bill asks this of Mr Razor. "We sent up an expedition to the higher floors once," he says. "But we never heard back from them."

Yes, that is blatantly the time difference, isn't it.

If there are still humans on those middle floors, why haven't they been retrieved by the patients? They came immediately for Bill, and she was on the top floor.

...and on, and on...

ANYWAY then Mr Razor BETRAYS Bill and has her cyber-converted. There is, fair play, an excellent reveal that these are Mondasian cybermen, which admittedly I did guess but still, credit where it's due. The conversion is shown to be more horrific than you can imagine, too. Semi-converted patients at one point are on a ward, repeatedly pressing speech buttons that say "Pain" and "Kill me", and the nurse who comes in just turns off the volume so they can't be heard. It is, imho, way too fucking dark for this show, actually, but that largely sums up Capaldi's era.

And that's the cliffhanger! The Doctor and Nardole staring in horror at crying Cyber-Bill (apparently she's still flesh inside the suit, though, that sure does imply it's reversible). BUT!

Also Mr Razor finds Missy and he peels off his rubber face.

"I had to wear this mask because I used to be Prime Minister on a different planet," he declares, which is baffling to us as we have not seen this, and also that doesn't make sense. "I'm a past incarnation of you and also the Master."

SO THAT'S THE MASTER! A character we have only heard named in passing. SO MANY answers in this episode.

I also still don't understand Nardole.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (NEW INFO: perhaps River returned as Missy. River and Missy are separate! Could be either of them I suppose. Maybe Me? Maybe Clara???!)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just… disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding??? Saturnine was also lost, and that WAS because of the TARDIS exploding. The lion man’s planet was also lost but he was a bit of a knob about it if I’m honest. The Thijarian planet was destroyed by some sort of impact). Is this the Flux?

Amy is maybe dead (she’s not)

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up (NEW INFO: unless she’s Missy. She's not Missy. Nope: she is definitely not blown up)

The TARDIS has blown up (It’s fine now. Except it’s sort of melting now because it’s corrupted, but it’s fine again. NOPE, back to not working.)

The universe appears to have ended (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

(And Nardole was “reassembled???” Nardole had glass nipples and invisible hair?? NEW INFO: he used to be blue, and could apparently go back to it??? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE)

NEW INFO: There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why (sometimes she knocks for the bants) She's a murderer and a fellow Time Lord and he's trying to rehabilitate her.

There’s an immortal Viking girl now. Her name is Me and she’s now looking after the people the Doctor abandons

Why was Rory entirely unconcerned by the entire world suddenly going silent when that is Not Normal and should have been, at the very least, extremely disconcerting?

What did the Doctor do to Queen Lizzie One?

Why is Amy seeing a one-eyed woman in a vanishing window? (She’s with the Silents, but we don’t know why Amy saw her)

Why is Amy’s pregnancy inconclusive? (Maybe because the baby had Time Lord DNA?) She’s deffo pregnant and the baby becomes River, but why inconclusive?

Who is Sarah-Jane Smith?

How is the Doctor Bill’s teacher and why/where does he have an office?

What is going on with the Cyber War and the Cyberium???

What happened with the Other Cyber War?

What happened with the Third War that deleted the void?

Why does Rose seem particularly important?

What order do these Doctors go in? (Eccleston, Tennant, uncertain, Smith, Capaldi, Whittaker)

Which companion just… forgot the Doctor, and how?

Yaz and Vinder are about to die as Mori/Mwri/Muuri (Not anymore, somehow)

There is a Lupari shield around Earth.

What’s a Time War?

What’s the Rift?

What’s Bad Wolf?

In which war did the Doctor become a war criminal, and how?

Who is the Master? NEW INFO: This is now resolved! The Doctor's oldest friend, a fellow Time Lord, but also a murderer.

Why has Amy forgotten Rory? How did she forget a Dalek invasion?

Is Rory plastic or not? Yeah, must be, he couldn’t possibly remember being plastic otherwise

Why is the Doctor sulking on a cloud?

How exactly does the Doctor have a cloud?

What exactly happened with Strax to, uh, tame him?

Which friend killed Strax?

Which friend brought Strax back?

Where did this lesbian lizard and human couple come from?

What happened with Clara as Souffle Girl and the Daleks?

How does Clara actually join?

Why so many Claras? A psychic midwife says she’s just normal human

Why is Missy apparently in robo-heaven?

Why is probably!Missy pushing Clara and the Doctor together?

What is Trensilor and what happened there?

Who is Handles?

The Doctor is about to be dissolved by a beautiful geode man

The universe is being crushed by the Flux

Will the Doctor open the fobwatch?

Sontarans are invading Earth again

Who is Kate?

Who is Osgood? Another name of Clara’s again?

The fuck is the deal with the Grand Serpent

Does Martha get to go to an ice cream planet with 12-fingered massage aliens?

How did the Doctor forget Clara?

Who is Bill’s puddle girlfriend Heather?

How did Nardole die?

When does Bill get Cyberman-ed and die? NEW INFO: Resolved! On a colony ship stuck by a black hole

When does the Doctor shrink and enter a Dalek called Rusty?

Whittaker is falling to her death rn

Was that ring relevant?

Does anyone know the Doctor’s name?

When did Yaz talk to Dan about fancying the Doctor?

When did Dan talk to the Doctor about fancying Yaz?

What’s happening with the bees?

What happened with Donna’s ex and a giant spider?

What war wiped out the Daleks, and is it one of the ones already mentioned?

What did the Doctor mean when he said “The (Daleks) always live, while I lose everything?”

If Dalek Caan is the last Dalek left why are there more now?

How did the rest of the Time Lords die?

How and why did Amy melt?

What’s the question that will make silence fall?

Why do the Silents… want silence to fall?

How and why are Silents at war with the Doctor when he… hasn’t even heard of them?

How does Hitler get out of the cupboard?

What’s the significance of fish fingers and custard?

Why does the Doctor feel guilt about Rose, Martha and Donna?

What happened with the space whale?

When does Rory defend Amy for 2000 years? Since Roman times, it seems

How does the Doctor survive River? He doesn’t, apparently

How does he erase himself from history

Did Captain Jack lose his memories to the same people as the Doctor? What did he lose?

When did the Doctor send the Daleks into a void to save the universe?

What’s with the weird crack in the wall and is it affecting memories?

Why do Amy and Rory think the Doctor is dead? Is it because of River as an astronaut?

Is Matt Smith’s Doctor a tree racist?

Why is the beautiful geode woman stealing people into a Passenger form?

River says she’ll die one day when the Doctor doesn’t remember her, let’s hope she doesn’t mean it

Why doesn’t the TARDIS like Clara?

When was the Master Prime Minister?

#doctor whom #and yet we are continuing

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