#and sometimes... the latter is better at sending a specific message

[anakinh]

been trawling through the meljay tag on ao3 because i was curious about how many fics there actually are of this pairing (very few. if you sort by kudos it's almost offensive). anyway, I noticed there's quite a lot of people who didn't like the fact that Jayce accused Mel of using him? Even though she, uh, did use him? People are allowed to have flaws.

Idk, i think that's actually the fun part of the meljay dynamic. It's very "this boy seems very manipulable. i am going to take advantage. oh no he's sweet. oh no i have feelings. fuck." it's a very popular romcom subgenre!

Similarly there's a surprising amount of commune jayvik fics that act like the commune is a good thing, which. why? Isn't the whole point of commune jayvik fics mostly 'viktor puts jayce in his commune and he thinks everything is perfect until one day he realizes he killed his soulmate' with a dash of 'angsty dub-con with captive jayce'? think about it.

also part of the reason I was kinda offended with the tag on ao3 is because most of it was actually jayvik. i brought jayvik on this post so i guess by my own rules i should be going to jail.

[gerec]

Gerec’s Favorite Fics - 2024

A couple days late but here’s a list of some of my favorite 2024 fics. A great big thanks to everyone still writing for this fandom (or newly writing for it!); I know I’m very grateful to have all these amazing stories to read and to share!

CHERIK FICS

Standing Invitation by smilebackwards

Erik has two standing invitations in his life. One is to the maximum security wing of Rikers Island prison. The other is to Sunday tea with Charles Xavier.

Strange Bodies, Strange Minds by populuxe

He wiggles a set of sturdy, blunt fingers that he unfortunately knows all too well, and then he raises his other hand and wiggles those sturdy, blunt fingers, too. They’re his hands—he’s making them move, and he can feel them moving—but they’re obviously not his hands.

“For God’s sake, Erik,” his doppelgänger snaps. He points to the mirror above the fireplace. “Stand up and properly look.”

A few weeks into their mutant-collecting road trip, Charles and Erik approach a boy with a very special mutation—who subsequently turns his abilities on them. Trapped in each others’ bodies (and saddled with each others’ powers), it seems like an inconvenience at first, but it will have consequences neither of them could have predicted.

Rapprochement by populuxe

“Hank peered at the newspaper over his shoulder and said haltingly, ‘Do you think…Erik might be trying to send a message…to you specifically?’”

When Charles stands Erik up for their annual winter holiday getaway, Erik spends the following twelve months expressing his displeasure in increasingly creative ways. With this year’s winter break approaching, Charles makes plans to head to the cabin alone—or without contacting Erik in advance, anyway...

Is It Casual Now? by niniblack

Charles hasn’t seen his ex-boyfriend Erik since the latter went to an Imperial prison six years ago, and he’s just fine with that, but a hookup job gone bad on a rain drenched planet has Raven calling in the only person they know who can talk down the criminal syndicate currently after them: that very same ex-boyfriend, Erik.

Erik’s not that happy to see him either.

It's Not Too Bed by Aurrus

The room is tiny – which is good, because at least it’s blessedly warm, which he didn’t dare hope for, considering their luck, but it’s also tiny enough that there’s only enough space for a rickety side table, a small desk, a chair and a coat rack.

And a bed, of course. Only—

“There’s only one bed,” Erik points out needlessly.

things have changed for me by joshriku

It's not easy for Erik to juggle a divorce and burnout from his current job. Luckily, he's made up his mind - he'll quit this job, move out on his own, and find his way from there. It's totally not a mid-life crisis.

Luckily, Charles is there to help.

Despair is for the Living by jeriais

This curse is devouring him from the inside and he's afraid of what he'll be left with when it finally consumes him.

 Or, an angsty vampire AU in which everything changes.

all the soarings of your mind by ikeracity

From the PDM III, the Psionic Diagnostician Manual: 297.3 PSYCHIC BLEED

Diagnostic Features The essential feature of Psychic Bleed is an abnormal, involuntary transfer of feelings, thoughts, experiences, and preferences in a close relationship involving at least one psychic partner (Criterion A) following prolonged mind-to-mind to contact. The psychic partner, sometimes termed the "instigator" or "source case," is unable to prevent this transfer from occurring through traditional psionic defenses such as shielding, empathetic defense, or astral distancing (Criterion B). The transfer is not better accounted for by another psychic disorder (e.g. Latent Psychic Manifestation Syndrome) or individual mutations of either the source case or the receptive case (Criterion C). See below for diagnostic criteria.

---

Erik likes his psychic therapist—maybe too much. Is sharing his therapist's cravings and impulses a... known side effect?

The Boy Raised in Fire (The Boy with the Sigil Tattoo Remix) by jeriais

Erik Lehnsherr is on a mission to kill his creator, the man who raised him to be the living weapon that he is. He has a plan and will suffer no distractions, that is, until a handsome stranger gets in his way.

On compromise and lasting peace by brawlingdiscontent

The morning of their wedding, the king of Genosha and his soon-to-be consort reflect, separately, on what’s to come.

magnetic attraction by brawlingdiscontent

Charles may be an online dating novice, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to fall for a catfish

The (e)X: Men and Other Issues by larkdily

Erik’s writing is just like Erik himself — strong, vibrant, and always captivating to Charles, despite his better judgment.

or: It's senior year of college. After a publishing mishap of epic proportions, Charles and Erik - bitter exes and uni literary rivals - are drawn reluctantly back into each other's orbits.

The Shears by Isolee (WIP) It's been fifteen years since he last looked at Erik, the house, and all his mistakes. Thirty-year-old academic, he thinks, orphan, now, and starving, too. His mother is dead, and nothing has changed, except he forgets what he likes for breakfast. And Erik looks at him like - like he doesn't understand the language Charles is speaking. Like he has to strain a bit to make sense of the man in front of him.

With the pruning, a branch is stronger; you will learn to love the shears.

out of my league by roachvibes (WIP)

Charles Xavier leads an extraordinary career in professional soccer until an injury leaves him with no choice but to retire into coaching. When he unexpectedly encounters his ex-husband at a national football conference, the two are forced to reconcile their differences on human-mutant coexistence—and parenting.

Best Laid Plans by InterstellarClark (WIP)

Alpha Erik is tired of waiting for the right person to settle down with, he’s ready to be a father and have a family again. Omega Charles has lost everything, his inheritance, his job at Columbia, and needs a next step. Both of them turn to Stark Surrogacy, hoping they can find a future.

Inevitably Yours by vvividlyy (WIP)

Times like this, Charles wishes Raven hadn’t told him to stay out of her head years ago. Well, he wishes that all the time, but it would be really especially handy for situations like trying to figure out exactly how upset she was about her breakup with no particular person for no particular reason.

Or:

Sometimes the man of your dreams meets your sister first.

XAVIERINE, CHERIGAN & OTHER PAIRINGS

burning gin by kremas

Logan clenches his jaw. He takes one last drag of his cigar, and Charles watches nervously, his heart beating rampantly in his chest, anticipating rejection.

Please don’t say no. Please don’t say no. Please don’t say no.

Logan slowly blows the smoke out of his mouth, the cloud trickling out and down, dissipating just before it can reach Charles’ face.

He shakes his head, briefly shutting his eyes.

“God, I’m gonna fuckin’ kill Magneto.”

Or, after Erik leaves him, again, Charles just needs to feel something. Logan can help.

The Deal We're Making by arcapelago (arcanewinter)

After Logan resumes control of his own body after his future self supposedly took it over for a few days, he eventually settles down on the grounds of the Xavier School for Whatever it was, mainly due to the attentions of its headmaster.

But a few years into this unusually stable living arrangement, a new student with a unique ability causes Logan to forfeit his body a second time--and find himself in a different one.

It gets worse from there.

Return (the orbital period remix) by arcapelago (arcanewinter) 

Midway through August, Logan comes home.

The whole ride, all four hundred miles of it, he refuses to call it that. But as he parks his motorcycle in the garage in the same place it was a month ago and extinguishes his cigar on his forearm, he's not sure what else to call it.

Surrender, maybe.

A Type by Groot_the_tree

“You certainly have a type, Charles,” Erik had said one day and, at the time, Charles wasn’t sure he understood what Erik was referring to. Now though, it was becoming more and more clear that Erik had, for once, been right. - Charles slowly realizes that Erik and Logan are more alike than he first thought. And it just took them dating to find out.

Metal Man and the Magnet by Groot_the_tree

“You know that thing you and the professor do?” Logan asked, sitting on the couch pushed against the wall.

“You’re going to need to be more specific than that,” Erik said, “Charles and I do a lot of stuff together.”

“In the bedroom,” Logan added which, okay, narrowed the list down to some extent but it was still rather large. “With control and his powers? Where he takes over things.”

“Yeah, I’m familiar with the concept. Why?” He asked.

There was a brief pause before Logan asked, “Do ya think me and you could do somethin’ like that? With the adamantium in me and your powers?”

Promises by Mataolma

Mafia AU. Erik is the right-hand man of mob boss Sebastian Shaw. Fed up with life at the man's side, Erik plots his escape, but not knowing that this decision will lead him to lose something very important.

[coyotepawsteps]

my genderqueer autistic ass having an epiphany about my general dislike for vcing (voice chatting) while in the middle of watching neurodivergent & queer tiktok compilations

usually i’m pretty okay with & prefer being in vcs with people who talk while i stay muted, and most of the time i just say that i “don’t really like talking in vcs” without elaborating on that too much but like. i’m gonna spend some time using tumblr as a way to put actual words to a lot of the deeper reasons for this feeling that i’m starting to notice! bc who am i if not a little autistic creature who wants to infodump to people except it’s a lot more comfortable to do so using a platform that feels more like a personal journal than a social media site!! i write all this for myself but i also want it to be in a space where other people can see it, relate to it, share their own experiences, etc.!

(and, with that mention of people sharing their own experiences, please feel free to reply to or reblog this with some of your own thoughts or experiences on this topic, because i’m genuinely curious how other people feel about this kind of thing!!)

i feel insecure about the way i perceive my voice as “too feminine”, i want to present online as a vague gender-fucky creature most of the time but i feel like people hearing my voice will ruin that kind of presentation. after listening to some of those “this is my voice [timeframe] on t” clips, i kinda realized that if my voice was deeper — something more neutral, or vaguely “boyish” but not exactly — this specific bullet point wouldn’t be much of a problem anymore

again a point specifically about my voice itself — i don’t think that i can really regulate the..i guess emotion in my voice? sometimes i speak completely flat monotone, sometimes i feel like i talk in a tone that doesn’t properly convey my current emotions or fit the situation, sometimes i feel like i can be way too hyper-expressive especially when i’m like. feeling really positively, like if i’m happy or excited or laughing at something. i also feel like i talk more high pitched in those latter situations which doesn’t help with the vocal-based gender dysphoria

i frequently describe myself as socially awkward. i am kinda bad when it comes to having conversations with people. there isn’t really any time at all to like, properly process what the other person has said & then reply to it accordingly while having vocal conversations, most of the time you just gotta wing it and hope you get it right. texting is a lot easier for me because then i do have that time to process what was said, and think of how to respond to it, and i have time to reread my response (and change it if need be) before sending it

this is something that i do sometimes mention in my original “i just don’t like talking in vcs” statement to people (just not with this much level of detail & explanation to it) — i feel like i express myself a lot better through writing/texting/messaging than i do speaking. ties in a lot with my emotional regulation/tone of voice bullet point; i express emotions a lot better through textual means. if i’m particularly hyper or expressing strong emotions like anger, excitement, joy, etc. then i usually write in all-caps and type fast enough that i make frequent typos. same thing for if i’m laughing at/about something i find really funny, plus with an add-on of keysmashing (there’s no good vocal equivalent to a really good keysmash). emojis and/or emoticons are really nice to use for conveying emotion wordlessly (some personal usage examples: 😭 for laughing or sometimes genuine sadness/upset depending on the situation; 😂 is also good for laughing/amusement [although i go through cycles of how often i actually use it; some times it’ll often be the only emoji i use for laughing, others i use the sobbing one a lot more and almost never touch this one, and others i rely more on text emoticons or abbreviations]; my most common emoticons are xD, :D, :), and :( with some variations depending on circumstance [e.g. >:) for a more “devilish”/mischievous use]; and, though they aren’t exactly emojis or emoticons, i frequently use abbreviations like “lmao” and “lol” interchangeably with them, with lmao being for actual strong amusement and lol being like a more toned-down “ha ha” kinda thing.) there is, of course, also the bonus of tone-tags being an option in textual conversation, although i don’t tend to use them too frequently unless i’m aware that something i’m saying could be taken in the wrong way by the other person (e.g. if i’m saying something i really mean, i won’t really use tone-tags for it, like if i’m telling a friend “i like playing games with you”; but if i’m joking around with someone while using a flat tone — like a message without any emoji usage, caps, purposeful typos, etc. — i will usually use tone-tags there, for example “i hate you so much /j”)

[prsk-krow]

Hi Krow, I was wondering if I could request platonic Kanade with a reader who is just always there for her such as reader constantly delivers meals to Kanade cause well she can't survive off just instant noddles and reader always accompanies Kanade to the hospital to see her father. Thank you for seeing this if you do write this tysm and have a nice day or night.

{Kanade with a reader that supports her with trips!} [P]

Probably one of the biggest brain moves to do as a good friend of the little shut-in is to do all of the stuff she can't do, as a little shut-in! Her lifestyle comes with tons of drawbacks, and, as a good friend, it's a pretty good idea to help her with mitigating a few!

For example, it's of no surprise to anyone that Kanade's cup noodle diet is extremely unhealthy in the long run, with all of the nutrients she's missing out on! However, it's not only easy to buy, but also easy to make!

Thankfully, with your involvement, the former is of no concern, and with good choices the latter won't be either! She will have various types of foods delivered each day, and won't have to rely on just noodles any longer.

You can't send her varied food at first though, since she has to get used to other types of food again! She can be a bit sensitive to flavours and textures thanks to eating the same meal for so long, so the repertoire will have to start out small.

You're also gonna have to teach her about the food itself! She lacks a lot of general gastronomic knowledge that is obvious to most, so it's important to help her learn about it all! Of course she has basic ideas, but it's good to help her as well!

Why? For her to be able to choose, of course! Once she gets used to the foods, she will sometimes ask you for specific meals! At first she won't memorize the names, but once she has you know that she can't go back to just noodles again!

"Thanks for the delivery... Why is your smile so wide? Oh... That's right, I remember them not believing it. Is it that strange tho-... Ah, I see. I guess they thought that your endeavors were doomed to fail... Fufu, yes, I think I see now, how we surpassed their expectations."

That's not your only form of helping however! Kanade always gets tired out when making trips to see her father at the hospital, and sometimes she can get a little lost on the way, since the sun takes her attention away.

However, with you here, that's no longer a worry! You can guide her along, and take her to the hospital at anytime! You know that it's sort of a routine, and you always set up the visiting times in advance for her!

Sometimes, you bring a parasol to cover her up! It doesn't matter whether other people find it weird or not, if it makes the composer's experience better, then so be it! She is quite grateful for that as well.

Once you're in, you will lead her to the room, and wait for her outside. After all, you don't want to involve yourself in her personal life unless she lets you. You sometimes message her from outside with words of encouragement though!

If her dad asks about you though, she will definitely be ready to hand out as many compliments about you as she can! After all, you're improving her normal life so much, even though she never asked much from you!

"Mhm. Right now, they're outside of the room. They know that this place is a little... Personal, let's say, for me. Isn't that kind of them? They respect my privacy while also making sure that I take care of myself every day... Such a kind friend I have."

In exchange, Kanade will try to do anything for you! You've done so much for her that the least she could do is to share a few sneak peeks of her compositions, or bring you a flower sometimes when you come over to deliver!

In fact, your kindness may inspire the composer to make her next melody a little brighter, as if the light she's been fighting to reach is getting stronger, inspiring her to continue stepping forward!

So, those are honestly a few of the best things you could do for the little shut-in! She leads a slightly careless life, and it's up to you and the rest of the group to ensure that she gets to enjoy a better one, step by step!

[beauvibaby]

become a family – a.beauvillier

You hadn’t meant to keep Gia a secret from your childhood friend, really honestly, you two had just lost touch, and by the time you found out you were pregnant and her dad left, it felt wrong to reach out simply to tell him that. So you didn’t.

But when you found out you were relocating to New York, Long Island specifically. You knew you had no choice but to reach out, it only made sense, it felt wrong not too. “Mommy.” Gia whined, “play!” She demanded with a tilt of her chubby face, motioning to the Minnie Mouse tea set she had sprawled across your tiny unpacked apartment floor. “Just a second baby.” You assured her with a soft laugh, you read the message you had typed out, you let out a deep breath and pushed send before moving to join your daughter on the floor, forcing the thought of checking your phone to the back of your mind.

“Hey, Tito. I know we haven’t spoken in forever, but I’m moving to Long Island, with my daughter, I thought it’d be nice to meet up sometime. Hope all is well!”

When he got the notification from Instagram, both of you long having lost each other’s phone numbers, his heart stopped briefly, he scrambled to unlock his phone, Mat eyeing him suspiciously. Tito read the message at least five times before what you said had processed with him, he clicked on your profile, he hadn’t really paid much attention to your posts, and they were so far and few between, he scrolled to the first one that was baby related.

A picture of your sonogram in front of your crossed legs, your ready to pop stomach on display, “just me and you against the world baby girl.”

Tito’s heart clenched in his chest, guilt, curiosity and sadness running through him, he scrolled to the next, a simple black and white photo of Gia when she was born, the caption only being her date of birth. The next wasn’t for another six months or so, the two of you in a small apartment back home. “Gia and mommy’s first place!”

He went through them all quickly, up to the most recent, from just before you sent the message, you with Gia on your hip, the two and a half year old hanging on tightly to you with a giggle as you grinned at the camera, your keys hanging off your finger. “New beginnings…”

“Tito? Dude, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Mat finally spoke up, Tito nodded, “you remember, Y/N? Right?” He questioned his friend, Mat nodded, curiously. “She’s here.” Tito whispered, Mat raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean she's here?” “She moved to Long Island.”

***

You truthfully had forgotten to check your phone that night, you ended up putting Gia to bed late and you simply passed out right after. So when you woke, the memories came flooding back, you rushed to grab your phone, seeing a response on your Instagram.

“Long Island? A kid??? We definitely need to meet up, I’m dying to know everything. Missed you.”

Your heart returned to normal at his response, thankful that he was accepting and not shutting you out.

“Missed you too, you became a big shot! I’m taking Gia to a park down the street from my apartment today, I’ll send you the address if you want to come.”

That’s how you ended up here, pushing your daughter in the swing as she shrieked excitedly. Your laughter echoed through the remotely empty park, your attention solely on her as she had a nervous look on her face as the swing went a little higher, you slowed her down and she resumed her happy shouts. “Y/N.” Tito called, your head snapping in his direction, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets as he looked over at you with a grin, his eyes flickering between you and Gia. “Hi.” You grinned right back at him as he walked over to you, he wrapped his arms around you in a hug as he reached you, Gia slowly coming to a stop in the child swing. “Oh god, it’s been too long.” You spoke, voice muffled by his jacket. “Definitely.” He agreed easily, pulling away as Gia began to fuss. You pulled her out of the swing and she clung to you, eyeing him suspiciously, she was always particularly wary about men. “Hello.” He spoke softly to her, giving her a soft wave. She smiled weakly, hiding her face in your neck. “Say hi, Gia.” You whispered to her, she lifted her head, looking over at Tito who was still smiling fondly at her, “hi, Gia.” She spoke, sending you both into a fit of laughter. “We’re working on it.” You assured him through your giggles, your daughter dramatically hiding again. “That’s ok.” Tito assured you, noticing all the ways Gia resembled you.

“Lunch?” She whispered to you, wiggling to get down, “yes, let’s go.” You led her over to the covered portion of the park, where you had left your things, Tito followed behind you, holding in a chuckle at the way Gia happily ran towards the table, swinging her arms for exaggeration. You sat her up on the bench, sitting beside her and Tito sat across from the two of you, watching you silently, “how have you been?” You started speaking, feeling your skin warm up under his gaze. “Good, yeah, I’ve been good.” He answered, “what about you? Been busy I see.” He joked, Gia glanced up at him as she took a bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “Yeah, she keeps me on my toes, in the best possible way.” You smiled at your daughter, she happily minded her own business, clueless to half the stuff you two spoke about. You told him about her dad, only using his name so she wouldn’t be confused, already learning that she didn’t have the two parents that some of her other friends have.

Jesse, you never expected him to work out long term, but you never expected to get pregnant either. Long story short, you told him and you gave him the option to not be involved, but he had to be committed to being a co parent or nothing at all. He chose the latter, and never looked back.

“That’s-“ “it’s good, I think, he wouldn’t have been able to stay committed.” You cut Tito off, not needing the apology speech again. He nodded, moving past the subject, a large grin started etching across his face as Gia tugged on your sleeve. You leaned down and smiled as she whispered to the best of her ability, “share?” She asked you, Tito cocked his head to the side as you nodded and leaned away. Gia grabbed one of her fruit gummies and held it out to Tito. “Share.” She mumbled cutely, smiling shyly with her head tilted down a little, just like you do. Tito gasped dramatically, placing a hand over his heart, “thank you!” He took it from her and popped it in his mouth, earning a genuine laugh from her that made his heart sore. Already so in love with your daughter and wanting nothing but the best for both of you. She tried to offer him more but he sweetly told her no, and that she should eat her lunch, she listened and continued snacking away. “Has she been to a game?” Tito asked you with a wicked grin, “no, actually, I haven’t been to a game since I had her.” You admitted, cringing as he gaped at you, muttering in French under his breath.

“I’m getting you tickets.” He spoke, already pulling his phone out, “what? No, Tito.” You rushed feeling guilty,

“Yes.” He stuck his tongue out at you, typing away on his phone before asking for your phone number to send you the info. You gave it to him, knowing he would just be stubborn anyways. “Thank you. Really. She’ll have a blast, I’m sure.” You spoke as you opened your phone to look at what he sent you, “Anthony!” You scolded, Gia jumping in her spot next to you, “Y/N!” He mimicked, giggling at your daughter who glared at him. “That’s too much, those seats are–“ “Those seats are necessary.” He cut you off, “it’s final. No take backs.” He teased, much like he did when the two of you were younger. You sighed, shaking your head with a small smile, “fine, you better win, for her.” You told him, motioning to Gia who was getting sleepier by the second. “I should take her home.” You added as she yawned, her head resting against her arms on the table. He smiled at her eyes fluttering shut, “yeah, but I’ll see you at the game, right?” He raised an eyebrow as he stood up, you nodded, moving to give him a hug goodbye.

You watched with a bursting heart as he pushed some of Gia’s hair back, leaving a feathery light kiss to her full cheek, “bye, sweetheart.” He whispered, she whined, nestling further into herself. You wiped at your eyes once he was no longer facing you, the sight before you simply pulling on your heart strings.

***

You adjusted the jerseys on yours and Gia’s bodies, the both of you wearing jeans with them. She smiled at the excitement on your face, “do you remember mommy’s friend we met yesterday, Tito?” You questioned her as you walked hand in hand to the elevator, she looked up at you curiously, “we’re going to see him do his job, you get to watch them play hockey.” You explained to her, she simply smiled, all oblivious to what you meant, but she got excited because you were excited. “Teo.” She spoke, an attempt at his name, not very good but adorable nonetheless. You whipped your phone out, squatting down in the elevator, you started recording her, “who are we going to see?” You asked her, she shook her head happily, her pigtails bouncing around, “teo!” She said proudly, clapping for herself. “Tito, good job.” You praised her before ending the clip, you sent it to him with a thumbs up before continuing to acknowledge Gia’s babbling.

He responded quicker than you thought he would, “I guess I’ve grown on her.” He sent a heart afterwards, presumably putting his phone away for the night to prepare for the game.

Gia whined as she clung to you, terrified of all the people surrounding the both of you, “it’s alright honey.” You shushed her as you slowly inched forward in the line, she nodded against you, arms wrapped around your neck and legs trying to wrap around your waist. You thanked the person as they scanned your tickets, letting you two begin the journey to your overpriced glass side seats. You were relieved to see they had already begun warm ups so she would be distracted by them, once she adjusted to her surroundings you knew she’d be fine. “Look baby, see how fast they go.” You held her up, pointing out to the ice, she instantly became mesmerized by them whizzing by. You sighed in relief as you tried to spot the oh so familiar number 18. The two of you wearing jerseys with his name, something you knew he would get a charge out of, as long as you could remember, you would wear his number to his games. And now would be no different.

You spotted him at the same time he spotted you, a bright smile coming over his face as he flicked a puck up and caught it in his hand, skating over to you. He waved at you and Gia and she grinned, recognizing him and suddenly no longer being shy as she tapped on the glass with an amused smile. “Hi!” She shrieked, earning a laugh from him. He motioned the puck in his hand and you nodded, easily catching it as he tossed it over, handing it to Gia who stared at it in amazement, “good luck.” You mouthed, fist bumping the glass like you did as a teenager, he grinned and did the same before skating off, some of his friends nudging him and asking questions as you settled into your seat for the night.

Gia enjoyed the game and the loud sounds more than you thought she would, she adjusted quickly to the slamming of the boards, if anything, you think that may have been her favorite part.

Once the game was over, you were directed by Tito to tell one of the arena employees your name and they’d bring you down to see him. Much to your surprise, it worked, Gia was antsy to be let down to run around, and thankfully the person leading you through the huge building was a sweet young girl, probably your age, who was just absolutely loving Gia. “Just go to the right, and stop at the double doors.” She explained to you as the elevator came to a stop, “thank you.” You smiled, ushering Gia onto the concrete floor, her laughter echoing as she had some room to run around and burn up some of her energy. You were speed walking behind her just to keep up with her little legs, “baby, hang on!” You called, sighing as you rushed to grab her, just in time too as the doors opened and a couple of guys walked out, thankfully Tito was one of them. “Hey.” You breathed out, Gia looked over, “teo!” She ran over to him, putting her arms up, he looked at you for approval, “oh, of course.” You gave him a look, as if you wouldn’t trust him with your daughter. He easily lifted her up, smile widening when she wrapped her little arms around him. A stark difference to her greeting yesterday. “You must be, Y/N.” One of them spoke to you as Gia began babbling to Tito who nodded along enthusiastically. “I am.” You responded, shaking his hand, “Mat.” He grinned, you nodded knowingly, “I know, I follow the sport.” You teased him, earning a snicker from Tito as he walked over to you. “Hey.” He mumbled, giving you a one armed hug as Gia refused to leave his hold. You lightly tickled your daughter as she hid in his neck from all the other guys. “You played good.” You assured him, he smiled softly in return before introducing you to some of his teammates, laughing when you became all shy, staying close to him and your daughter. You answered all the questions they threw at you, not noticing Gia was drifting off on Tito’s shoulder until she was already out like a light.

***

It’s been about 6 weeks since that game, the season kicking into full gear, Tito traveling very often but still coming over to see you guys when he wasn’t on the road, and today, he was coming over for the first time in two weeks, and Gia had no idea. The relationship between them was more than you could ever ask for, even yours and Tito’s relationship had changed, it wasn’t even spoken, it just happened, one night as he was leaving after you put Gia down. You leaned up to kiss his cheek but he turned, not knowing what you were doing. You both jumped back, muttering apologies, but you kept your hands on his chest, slowly you inched back together, your lips coming together softly.

Then it became more often, sneaking in kisses here or there, I miss you texts, phone calls. And now, now you were bouncing with excitement just to see him.

Tito knocked on the door with a wide smile, excited to see his two favorite girls, that thought running through his head the whole trip back, in his mind, he wanted to call you his, but he knew he hadn't even spoken to you about what this was.

You rushed over to open the door, Gia only just waking from her nap, “hi.” You whispered immediately being engulfed in his arms, yours going to wrap around his neck. “I missed you.” He admitted into your hair, kissing the side of your head, “I missed you too.” You assured him, leaning away to meet his eyes, something went unspoken between you two as he pulled you in for a kiss. This one was different though, more powerful than the rest had been. You sighed against him, melting into his hold as you kissed him back slowly, not wanting to rush the moment. “Tito.” You went to speak after you pulled back to breathe, “yeah, I know.” He murmured, pecking your lips again before finally stepping all the way inside. “Is she sleeping?” He frowned, wanting to see her, “she’s starting to wake up, I heard her fussing.” You explained, neither of you making any effort to untangle yourselves. “Would you want to go out with me sometime? Like a date.” Tito asked, you nodded instantly, “can’t we just count all the times you’ve stayed over here late as dates?” You teased, instantly making him relax. “Well, then I think it’s fine if I do this, as much as I want.” He joked, kissing you again, squeezing your hips.

“I think so too.” You agreed, pulling away once you heard Gia climbing out of her bed. “Gia, I have a surprise!” You called, hearing her giggle and run down the hall, she saw you and then she saw Tito standing beside you. What neither of you expected was the word about to come out of her mouth, “daddy!” You nearly passed out right there, literally swaying and having to grip Tito for stability. She hugged his legs, looking up at him with a grin. “Tito.” He corrected her gently, lifting her up once you regained your composure. “Hi, sweet girl.” He tickled her sides as he hugged her tightly, her laughter filling the room, you smiled at the sight, hoping that one day this would become a reality.

****

“Rough day?” You questioned Gia as she dramatically huffed and sat at the kitchen counter beside her sister. “Yes.” Gia spoke with a sigh, you held back your laughter, knowing that 1st grade could just be oh so difficult, Tito walked in a moment after with her backpack and lunch box, smiling at you as you held the two month old to your chest. He walked over to the girls, laughing at the bored expression on Gia’s face as she watched her two year old sister munch away on her fruit, “hi princess.” Tito greeted Sadie with a kiss to the head, before making his way over to you, kissing your lips and whispering a hello before taking the baby from you. He smiled as Cade gripped his finger tightly, looking up at his dad with the bright blue eyes that they shared. “Daddy, can we go for ice cream tonight?” Gia pouted at him, using the look she got from you that made him cave immediately. He glanced at you, who nodded, “only because it’s friday.” He pointed an accusing finger at her, watching as her annoyed expression broke into a smile. “Thank you!” She sang happily bounding to her room upstairs. You laughed at the sigh he let out, “Aw, did you have a rough day too, honey?” You teased, resting your head on his chest as he wrapped his free arm around you, Sadie coughing for attention and succeeding as you both looked over to make sure she wasn’t choking. She only smiled, Tito’s smile as she continued to eat her blueberries slowly, you glared lightly at her as she giggled. “I did have a rough day, thanks for asking.” He mused.

“My wife didn’t text me once all day.” He pouted at you, “I’m so sorry, I assumed you would be busy working and all.” You laughed at him, cupping his stubbled jaw, “how ever did you survive?” You asked with fake concern. “I’m not really sure. But I did, and I lived long enough to pick her up from school, I’ve earned my ice cream.” He quipped.

taglist: @boqvistsbabe @tortito @2manytabsopen @heybarzy @barzysreputation @yzas-stuff @iwantahockeyhimbo

[votederpycausemufins]

College has stopped kicking my butt enough for me to post another chapter of the the Scattered au fic. this one is meant to be a parallel to last chapter, so you might want to reread that one.

scattered au is by @hermitcraftheadcanons and their community

reading tag list: still just @helleborusangel right now. Send an ask if you want to be added on.

Xisuma pulled himself out of the water, coughing a bit from what had gotten past his filter. He tried to look around only to squint at the light from the surface. He didn’t think he had swum that far up, but for all he knew, he was able to push himself that far to finally escape the warden. So when something suddenly attacked him and didn’t immediately kill him, Xisuma quickly fought back.

While initially swimming, he thought he had felt something though wasn’t sure, but this was much more clear. And slimelike, it seemed, since that’s what it felt like when he attacked it. But the following grunt of pain from the attacker sounded much more human like.

Xisuma did his best to focus on whatever was there, but he was seeing double. He looked back and forth, trying to tell if it was just from the intense lighting change or from there actually being two… things there. And it seemed it was the latter when the things looked at each other.

“Well, that’s probably not good.” The two things spoke in unison, which didn’t help the headache that Xisuma could feel coming on. Still, he was able to focus enough to get a good look at whatever was there and was a slime hybrid of sorts similar to Jevin, though instead of his very clearly blue slime, these two - one? They were more of a sea green. Plus from what Xisuma could guess, they were able to split like a regular slime, something Jevin couldn’t.

“Sorry.” Xisuma spoke up, it finally clicking in his mind that he had likely damaged them enough to make them split. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought you were attacking- I mean, maybe you were, but this does seem to be where you’re staying, so I guess I invaded your home a bit.”

“I guess. So, are you from around here?” The slime pair asked, making Xisuma shake his head. “Huh, neither am I… are we… This is the first time I’ve split so-”

Xisuma tilted his head a little. “I guess it is pretty safe here. Have you had any deaths so far?”

“I thought that was going to be my first.”

“So that would explain the lack of death messages as opposed to Gemini or Pearlescent. Do you know either of them?”

“No, sorry, not really.” The slime people answered. “Well, uh, there’s just enough here if you need basic tools, but not much else. I’ve got a pickaxe- crafting table.”

Xisuma looked between the two. “I think both would be nice. I spawned underground and had trouble with getting anything at all.” And before he could say more, the slime people were handing him those two items and a few more.

“You’re on your own for food though. Berries aren’t the most filling, so I’ve been eating them all up. They taste nice though.” And to prove their point, each of the slime people went after a berry, though they went after the same one and ended up fighting over it.

Xisuma nodded and went up to one of the walls. This would be much easier than getting the warden to do all his mining, seeing as how he would now be in control. He started to staircase out of the cave, placing what few torches he had until he found more coal. Technically he didn’t need to, but then something could spawn and head down and attack the slime pair. And Xisuma didn’t want to never return and just leave them there alone forever. So when he finally did get up to the surface, Xisuma went straight back down. “Are you sure you want to- er, what are you doing?”

The slime people looked back over to Xisuma and shrugged. “Trying to fuse back together or something. Why did you come back?”

Xisuma wasn’t sure exactly what happened, but the next thing he really knew, he was going back up towards the surface, his arms full from holding the slime pair, one cradled in each arm. Sure, they said they would be safe alone in the cave, but X couldn’t help the feeling that they wouldn’t be safe so far away. He was pretty sure it was just from his worry about everyone else, and this was just one person he could protect, but Xisuma couldn’t help but wonder if there was something else going on.

.

.

.

Hypno leaned against Etho, who was doing surprisingly well considering their current situation. Both of them were low on hunger, only managing to stay alive from what little they could get from the flowers and grass they picked and ate. Etho somehow managed to find a pig wandering around and killed it for some raw pork, handing it to Hypno to eat. They couldn’t cook it, but Etho was less worried about the hunger the meat would satiate and more about the fact that Hypno wasn’t fully himself.

After the initial shock of finding horns on Hypno’s head, the pair looked him over. Hypno made mention of an ache at the base of his spine, and Etho found a few concerning bumps on Hypno’s upper back. Until they actively looked into it, Hypno hadn’t noticed anything wrong, which led to them checking Etho, and also giving the ninja something to plan for on his next respawns.

Etho was glad they didn’t notice much with him, but with little to do, he explained to Hypno his encounters with Ren, Impulse and Grian. Out of the three, Impulse had seemed the most normal, only having red eyes instead of the golden brown he usually sported. Ren had seemed fine at first, but then in the attack from the creeper, the shifter had killed Etho, acting like an attacked wolf. And then Grian for the most part had been acting like a bird, though near the end…

A moobloom trotted over, pulling Etho out of his thoughts. It nuzzled against Hypno, who happily reciprocated. Still worried about the other hermit and the effects the environment was having on him, Etho forcefully separated the two, needing to attack the animal to make it flee.

“What was that for Etho? It was just being friendly.”

“Right now, we need to be cautious of everything. Especially those cows and all the flowers around here. Because in case you forgot, growing horns like that is not normal. Plus, we could use the food right now.”

Hypno huffed. “We’ll use up more energy trying to kill it than we would get from anything it drops. It’s better to let us willingly help us than-”

Etho suddenly held up a finger to shush Hypno, letting them listen to the breeze. “Do you hear that?”

Hypno listened, only hearing a few moos from the nearby moobloom. “The cows?”

“Well, okay yeah. But it’s more what I’m not hearing.” And then Etho pulled out his communicator. Hypno watched as Etho stared at the screen, mask moving ever so slightly as he mouthed counting up. But nothing was happening. At first, Hypno didn’t get what was so important until he pulled out his own communicator. No death messages were coming in. Specifically none from Impulse.

“Impulse got out.” Hypno said, whispering in disbelief. “Someone must have found him.”

Etho nodded. “Yeah, but the question is who.” And then almost immediately, it was answered.

Zedaph was slain by impulseSV

.

.

.

If there was one thing that was a benefit to respawning in the same place every time, it was the fact that no matter how many times Impulse died, the guardians wouldn’t disappear. Meaning that after a few attempts, he finally killed one of the monsters giving him grief. Just being able to slay one of them felt freeing with all the torment he was currently being put through, but that wasn’t the only benefit.

When the guardian died, it dropped two things, a prismarine shard and some cod. Impulse greedily grabbed at the items, stuffing the shard in his inventory and then stuffing the fish in his mouth. After not eating in so long, the fish seemed like the most heavenly food in the world, though Impulse had other ideas on why that was the case.

Here and there, guardians had completely ignored him. Sometimes he felt like he was getting a full breath of air even though he was still stuck in the water. He hadn’t missed the webbing between his fingers and toes growing each respawn nor the scales that appeared and itched like crazy. Half of Impulse would have preferred drowning forever instead of whatever this was, but his other half realized that it was likely his only way out.

Another respawn left him fumbling for his prismarine shard, using it to dig into the nearby blocks. Along with the claw-like nails he had gained, Impulse was able to break another block, making him smile at first, but then his expression dropped. With the way the temples were constructed, the walls weren’t that thick. Instead of gaining an air pocket, he had just broken into another chamber.

“Impulse.”

In anger, Impulse took the prismarine shard and used it against the next guardian he saw.

“Impulse.”

He started by using it like a knife and jamming it into the eye of the beast, making it flail and spread its spikes.

“Impulse.”

As the world around him seemed to fade into blues and golds, Impulse kept attacking, needing to get his anger out somehow.

“Impulse. Impulse. Impulse.” And then Impulse felt like he was falling, but he still thrashed around, trying to stop whatever it was. Then the next thing he knew, it was like gravity had increased drastically, leaving him pressed against the floor. Something moved and he attacked it, surprised to find it feeling much fluffier than the guardians had been. There was a sound, like someone talking, but why would anyone be talking with him stuck all alone. Etho maybe? Was he back?

As the creature died in his hands, Impulse looked towards the sound. The first thing he noticed was that Etho’s eyes were now both red. Even the sclera were red. He had also dyed his hair blond, and gotten rid of his mask, and well that wasn’t Etho at all. Impulse kicked his legs to try and swim closer, only to finally realize he wasn’t underwater anymore.

The moment Impulse realized he was out of the sea temple, he started taking gulps of air. His lungs had already started breathing it all, but now he was trying to get as much oxygen as he could before he drowned again. A part in the back of his mind told him he couldn’t drown right now, but his mental state wasn’t the best right now.

“Hey Impulse. Calming down now?” Tango was asking, and Impulse looked over, glad to see his friend. He nodded, which got Tango to smile before looking off towards the horizon. Impulse briefly followed Tango’s eyes before his hand moved and he felt the soft wool of the carpets beneath him. It almost felt overwhelming how different it was compared to the past week plus that he had been stuck in the temple. But it was also good, so he wrapped himself up before following Tango’s eyes once more.

“What’s that way?” Impulse spoke, voice feeling unfamiliar from disuse and possibly alterations that matched everything else going on with him.

“Zed. I’m hoping he’ll be able to find us again since I have made a bit of a path.”

Impulse tilted his head before noticing his inventory had many more items. “Did he get killed or something?”

“Yeah, you sort of killed him when we first summoned you in.” Tango explained, and Impulse felt horrified. Him? Kill Zedaph? For a prank or something, sure, that was believable, But this had been from pure bloodlust at the time.

“I killed him? Oh no! I didn’t know! It had been a guardian at first, and then I was falling, and then I was-”

“Hey, calm down.” Tango replied. He took a step toward Impulse, obviously to comfort him, but then Impulse was surprised to see his friend change their mind and step back again. “Zed and I figured something like this might happen. We would have made beds to set our spawn, but we haven’t been collecting wool that much, so at most we would have had just one piece.”

Impulse chucked a little after realizing there were no sheep around. “What? Did Zedaph finally grow his hair out enough?” And he expected Tango to laugh in return, but the frown that appeared didn’t bode well.

“Impulse, do you… realize what you look like?” Tango asked, and then Impulse looked down at his hand and flexed it.

“What’s happened with Zedaph?”

Tango took a few steps to the side and a moment later the nearby leaves of a tree caught fire. “Zed and I have had both of our more animal-esque traits acting up. I’m burning just about any flammable thing that gets close to me and his wool is growing out of control. There’s other stuff too but…”

“But even if you’re not ending up like me, you’re still dealing with your own things.”

“Hey! I’m back! And it looks like Impulse has not killed you!”

.

.

.

Hels cut down a hoglin that was in the way of he and Wels as they travelled the nether. Wels was reluctantly following, his copy being the only reason he was doing so well right now. Well that, and the fact that he was promising some sort of shelter. They went a bit further, and then Wels spotted something that was clearly man made, making him try to run forward for shelter before he was grabbed by Hels. “Don’t run ahead idiot. I just know that you’ll manage to die if you try that and we’ll have to start all over.”

“Well I’m sure I could find a way to survive fine on my own.”

“Sure you could.” Hels said, obviously sarcastic. “And your death messages make that so very believable. Tell me, have you noticed anything odd about your situation, other than being stuck in the nether.”

“Well, chat hasn’t been working right and I can’t regenerate my health.”

“Right… Well, what have you been eating?” Hels asked as they finally reached the door to the helsmit’s base, opening it to let Wels inside.

“Mainly crimson fungi or the rare pork if I can chip enough health away from a hoglin.” Wels answered, linking himself to the respawn anchor sitting inside.

“That fungi is only edible to hoglins you know.” Hels said, closing the door and then crossing his arms.

“Well obviously that’s not the case here.” And then Wels made his point by munching down on a mushroom he still had in his inventory.

Hels pursed his lips before yanking the fungi out of Wels’ hand and then smashing the knight’s head against a nearby wall. “Spit that out right now or I’ll go again until I break your tusks.”

“My what?” Wels asked, reluctantly spitting out the half chewed fungus.

“You’re an idiot. How did you not notice you were growing tusks?”

And Wels didn’t have an answer, just letting his hand go to his mouth and feel what were definitely tusks. “When did-”

“Who knows. My guess is it's something with this world. It’s not like any of us want to be here.”

Wels looked back over to Hels at that comment, a questioning look on his face. “Evil Xisuma approached me a few weeks ago. He was planning to get into the new season before the rest of you so he could keep from getting banned and put some action into play with his brother and a number of the other hermits. I wasn’t as interested in his plan, but having fun on the server on my own seemed like a good idea to me. A few others were planning to join us, but I’m sure they haven’t followed along. So as far as I’m aware, it is only Evil Xisuma and I trapped here with all of you.”

“Well, at the very least neither of us are stuck here alone.” Wels spoke, trying to give a positive spin on things.

“I would have preferred to be alone.” Hels replied. “You’ll use up more of my resources. That being said, my guess is you’re necessary for whatever is going on around here to stop. So until that’s fixed or I learn otherwise, I am reluctantly helping you.”

“Alright, that sounds fine for now. And you said Evil Xisuma is here too, correct? Any clue where he could be?”

.

.

.

Bdubs stared down at the void below his feet, glad to have stopped moving, though his gut was still getting used to that change. The guy in pink armor next to him was reluctantly patting his back as another wave of nausea hit and he started to dry heave. “Th-Thanks.”

“Whatever. I just know what being stuck in the void is like so I have a little sympathy.”

“Well glad to know I’m not the only one stuck in this situation. Not that that’s a good thing.”

“Right.” The armored person deadpanned, looking down at the void as well.

Bdubs was quiet for a little before looking over to his savior. “So then, I don’t really think I caught your name in all our yelling to heave both of us up here.”

The other person raised an eyebrow at Bdubs, as if to ask if he was serious, then being a little surprised when he was. The person hesitated, looking down, not to the void but more at their lap, then a hand fiddled with their hair before they finally looked back at Bdubs. “Name’s Xannes.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Bdubs!” And he held out a hand, pausing as he noticed the state it was in.

Xannes took the hand carefully and shook it, before helping it back to Bdubs’ side. “Side effect of the void. I’m more protected because of my armor, but you don’t have that.”

“Well now I’m actually upset about not having armor, even if it were pink.”

Xannes looked incredulous at that before putting his hands on his hips. “Hey, this is simply a… lightish red.”

“You mean pink.”

“Lightish. Red.”

“Lightish red is red mixed with white. And what does that give you? Pink. You’ve got pink armor.”

“Alright, so maybe it’s supposed to be pink.” Xannes conceded. “But my color is red, and this isn’t my armor, I’m simply borrowing it. So for anyone else, it would be pink, but as long as I wear it, it’s a lightish red.”

“Whatever you say.”

Xannes sighed and then carefully took Bdubs’ hand again. “Alright, so looking again, this doesn’t quite look as natural as being stuck in the voice can make it. Obviously that’s because none of this is natural. Even though it wouldn’t help me in the long run if it were working, I have tested plenty with my communicator and learned a number of things. First, we are not the only ones in a situation like this.”

“Yeah.” Bdubs agreed. “I already met Scar stuck on one of the islands below.”

“Noted.” Xannes nodded. “Well, others have similar odd spawns. I- Someone named Impulse had been stuck in a guardian temple, a Docm77 has been sent to his death by goats. X-Xisuma has been dealing with a warden.” Xannes started to explain, voice getting quieter at the last example, though Bdubs didn’t notice.

“And the void stuff?”

“If I knew more about what was going on, I could tell you. But as it stands, I can just tell your limbs seem to have a form of void-bite and your eyes are as dark as the void itself.”

Bdubs leaned back a little in shock at the comment. “Wait, really?” And then he was fishing into his shirt before pulling out a knife, Xannes’ eyes widening at the weapon. Bdubs held the blade up, briefly putting it back down to shine it against his shirt before using it as a mirror and then staring into it. Sure enough, his eyes seemed to go on forever into their sockets, pure darkness filling them.

“How many knives do you have?” Xannes asked, tearing Bdubs’ gaze from the weapon.

“Huh? Oh, I’ve got plenty. Want one?” And he pulled out another, only the tiniest bit worried about being stabbed by the unfamiliar person. But instead of stabbing him, Xannes simply threw the knife off the edge, watching it fall down. “What was that for?”

Xannes didn’t really reply, just holding a finger up for Bdubs to wait. Reluctantly, he did, but then got restless as time seemed to drag on. Any time he attempted to talk, he would just get shushed, making it feel even worse. Finally, out of nowhere, the knife suddenly fell past them, making Bdubs jump back enough that he nearly fell off their gateway and into the void, but Xannes grabbed him before that could happen and pulled him back in.

“Well then, it seems like a loop around the void lasts around two and a half minutes.” Xannes stated, shifting to turn his body and move to a different part of the gateway. “I guess it would be less on a second loop after already reaching terminal velocity, but it's good to know. I know something has been flying past here ever so often but I was still sort of stuck on the side of this thing for most of it, then I was dealing with you, so… you get the idea.”

“You telling me everything’s looping up and down like us?” Bdubs asked, looking around the sky, or what passed for it in the end.

“Us and anything non-living. I’ve already seen that there have been three void related deaths by Scar, Etho and TinFoilChef.”

“Well so far I’ve only seen Scar and you.” Bdubs replied. “I guess those other two are stuck around here too.”

“The chef, yes, but I’m not so sure about the other.” And Xannes handed his comm to Bdubs, showing a list of death messages, all belonging to Etho. “I have a function that lets me sort these messages. It’s very handy.” And then he reached off to the side, catching a comm as it fell from the air. “And this would be yours. I’ve seen it here and there… To be honest, it seems like it takes more than two or so minutes. We might need to test more.”

Bdubs swapped their communicators before looking down at the abyss below. “Well, Scar’s somewhere down there, I already found him once. I’m gonna see if I can get to him again and you can do whatever while I’m falling.”

Xannes rubbed his chin and then nodded. “Alright, go ahead. I’ll look out for you. If you respawn, wait a loop for me to catch you because I don’t have omniscient reaction time.”

“Sounds good to me.” Bdubs replied with a smile, then jumped into the void once more, ignoring the fear that came with it.

.

.

.

Scar rolled around on the end stone, trying to get to sleep. Sure, beds didn’t work in the end, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t sleep. It just wasn’t restful enough to keep phantoms away or set a spawn. Not like he needed to set a spawn three blocks away from his current one.

But right now, there was too much noise. The endermen were slowly losing their cool with Scar and he was also hearing the whispering of the vex. To be honest, that was probably why huge endermen were acting as they were. Void magic didn’t like to work with other magic.

But even with all of that, Scar really wanted to sleep for another reason. The whispers of the vex weren’t the only new thing with him. He had polished the pillar near him as just something to do other than wait around. The end rod in particular he shined until it was just mirror-like enough that he saw his green eyes were now vex blue. From that, he checked himself over a bit more and found that his eyes weren’t the only change. He seemed to be an inch or three shorter and his skin was definitely paler than before. He didn’t have wings again, but he knew it would only be a matter of time.

Scar really didn’t want to use any more help from the vex yet, knowing it would speed things up. He wanted to keep hope out for seeing Bdubs again before doing anything since it could be his last chance before a deal was needed once more. If he could just-

“Convex.” A much clearer whisper spoke, making Scar jump a little. “Are you sure a deal is such a bad thing at this stage in time?”

“Oh no no no no no.” Scar insisted, standing up and waving his hands in refusal. “I’m sure I’ll be better use to my friends if I’m not mostly stuck working with you guys.”

“What if you were not working for us?” The whisper asked, making Scar pause.

“Wait? I’m Convex because I can’t become true vex because of Xisuma and him tainting me and Cub with the void or something. I would think now being stuck in the end would make it worse, not better!”

“You still cannot, that is true. But a new evoker is being trained, one also tainted by the void. And I believe you would want to work with them.”

Scar inhaled sharply at the implication, knowing that it must be a hermit they were referring to. He fumbled in pulling his communicator out and then scrolled through all the death messages before finally seeing what he wanted. Death messages to vindicators and evokers, both about Mumbo. “So clarification on this deal?”

“You will still be considered Convex, but on a higher level than before. Not quite at the level of standard vex however. But during this, you will be linked to the new evoker, and cannot be released unless they themselves will it. And you should not will your release either.”

“Yeah, yeah, if that’s all, sure!” Scar agreed quickly, so excited he didn’t really take the time to think it over. Then suddenly he could feel more magic flowing into him. So much it felt like a red hot iron pressed all over his body, especially at his scars. And then it was gone, and he was left panting on the ground.

He didn’t know how long he had been there, but suddenly his name was shouted and Scar managed to lift his head up. He saw Bdubs rocking down towards him again and suddenly felt stronger again, getting a burst of energy and moving towards the builder. New wings spread from his back and let him fly, keeping him above the void as he grabbed his friend and then slowed them before reaching the abyss below, then slowly dragging them back up.

“Bdubs! Are you okay?!” Scar asked the moment they were both on the endstone, only staying on his feet for a second before his knees buckled beneath him.

“Am I okay? Am I okay?! I’m on the sweet sweet ground again!” And then he kissed the stone beneath him. “What about you? You look… not Scar but sound normal.”

“I can explain more in a bit. There’s an end city just over that way and I want to get something so we can start towards the main island. I’ll see if there’s elytra for you.”

“Oh no. I don’t think I ever want to fly again. If anyone, give it to Xannes.”

“Who?”

“Okay, guess my story first.”

.

.

.

On the main island, TFC dodged another attack from the dragon. She had been attacking less frequently, which was good and bad in his eyes. No attacking meant less dying, but TFC needed her attacks to even attempt destroying all the crystals. Because there was no way she was dying to fists alone with them still around.

That all being said, TFC had a sneaking suspicion on why exactly that was happening. His prosthetics were built to match his remaining limbs in function, but gradually over the past few respawns, they were becoming off balance. In trying to fix them, TFC realized he was less human than before, claws on his hands and feet, and tenderness at his tailbone and shoulder blades.

TFC was old, that much was true. And because of that, he had seen all sorts of situations. While for the most part the problems of this world were new to TFC, adaptations were not. A number of present day hybrids were a result of that. Heck, mob variants were also sourced from suce and occurrence. So yeah, TFC was not too surprised about seemingly becoming a dragon hybrid.

Thinking it over, in the long run it would likely give him just enough of an upper hand to defeat the dragon, but there was also the concern of how long it would take to get to that point and how far these alterations would go. If this went too far, the world itself could mistake him for a new ender dragon, and even after killing the real one, no portal would form due to his existence.

Well, if that was the case, he would need to figure out what it was that made the existence of the dragon close the portal and see if he could reverse it. Especially since he recalled at least one or two hermits were supposed to be stuck in the end with him. Though that did give him another idea. Maybe he didn’t have to keep fighting if the dragon opened the portal herself.

The next time TFC respawned, he waited, giving her time to rest. When he was sure the dragon was fully healed again, the miner made his way to the podium and waited. The dragon swooped a few times, giving some warning shots, but she didn’t attack TFC directly, and he made no move to attack the crystals. She didn’t look happy, but TFC had plenty of time to wait.

.

.

.

In a bout of frustration, ink was spilled over the floor, making Mumbo even more frustrated than before. He didn’t understand the need for learning another language just for spells. He was sure that knowing the characters that appeared with enchanting would be enough, but apparently the illagers had their own writing system. At the very least, Mumbo recognized a character or two that Scar or Cub must have had written down, but it still felt like he was learning a new language from scratch.

With ink all over the place, Mumbo paused to work on cleaning everything up. He had ruined nearly all his materials, so now he would have to attempt to get more or find an illager who would assist him in such a task. Paper was easy enough to get, a farm already set up in the mansion, but Mumbo hadn’t automated it yet, so there wasn’t going to be much to reap. And squid ink wasn’t something they just had on hand.

Mumbo reached the farming room and grabbed what sugarcane had grown, taking the reeds over to a crafting table then cutting and pressing them into paper. He only managed to make six pages from all of that and didn’t have the material to bind them into a book.Instead of leaving the room, Mumbo put the paper into a nearby chest and then pulled out his redstone materials.

As Mumbo built, he decided to multitask by using redstone dust to practice some of the characters he needed to learn. He couldn’t remember the normal order of the characters, so he just wrote them at random. He never really focused on the characters, so he didn’t notice when a few in a line started to glow a bit. In fact, he was just pausing his writing to work on fixing a bit of redstone, his head stuck in the contraption.

His hand blindly reached for some string to add as a tripwire, but he was about half a foot to the wrong side of his pile of materials. When Mumbo’s hand started to go further, it was stopped by some thread being placed in his hand. The redstoner said his thanks and then strung it up before pausing and pulling his head out.

Standing nearby was someone Mumbo immediately recognized, not knowing anyone else with a bright red sweater like that. Not caring that he was currently covered in redstone dust, Mumbo jumped at the newcomer and hugged them tightly, so glad to see a familiar face. “Grian! You’re okay! How did you get here? Where are the bots? Are you alright?”

But pulling away again, Mumbo watched as Grian just blinked at him, seeming a little confused. “I think you may be mistaken and confused, my mustachioed friend. I mean, I am okay and I got here because of you, but I’m not sure what you mean by bots and well, you were trying to take to someone named Grian.”

Mumbo furrowed his brows. Looking them over again, he could tell this had to be Grian. His clothes and hair and everything were the same. He couldn’t quite tell about their eyes because they were wearing a mask, but it matched the one he had seen Grian with in the past, a black mark on its face instead of the purple Eflyn expected. The only thing unfamiliar were the wings. Shape and pattern wise, they matched the wings Grian had, but the colors of the feathers were no longer red yellow and blue, but purple grey and black.

“Well then. If you’re not Grian, then who are you?” Mumbo asked, and the person giggled slightly.

“I could have swore you already knew, but I guess not. The name is Xelqua, but don’t go throwing it around to just anyone.” And just hearing it reminded Mumbo. It had been a name Grian had told him before.

“Well, if you don’t want me throwing it around, I’m going to have to call you something.” Mumbo spoke up, Xelqua seeming to agree. “Since I already mistook you for him and he’s not around, how about I call you Grian.”

“Hmm.” Grian thought about it before shaking his head. “Just you and me, you can call me Xelqua. Otherwise just Watcher is fine, okay?”

“But I-” Mumbo started to say, and then there was a clatter, making Mumbo and Grian look over at the door where Eflyn was standing.

“Well. It seems we have another guest then…”

.

.

.

Joe had paused in his material gathering. It was just going to be for a little bit, but he needed to clear his head. And the best idea he had for that was climbing the tower at spawn the correct way. Sure, he could try climbing from the outside or something, finding a window, but at this point these were definitely Watchers, and Joe was very much aware that they were not to be messed with.

Joe needed to pause on a platform to hold his head, a headache forming. It had been coming and going for a while, but it didn’t feel so bad now, the tower already lit up pretty well. As he waited, his other hand clutched at the wall as best it could, just feeling the texture of the wall, as if to check that it was real. “Guess you really couldn’t have been swayed, now could you?” Joe asked, speaking into the empty air around him. “Well maybe after this mess we can try it again.”

Joe climbed a few more parts of the parkour that acted as steps before nearly falling to a sudden splitting headache. He half considered letting go and trying again, there being enough hay lining the floor below to break his fall, but he had already gotten so far. And maybe if he could get to the top of the tower…

It had been ages ago when Joe had first met a Watcher. From what he could tell, it was even the first Watcher to exist. One that eventually disappeared to time that not even the other Watchers knew what happened. He wasn’t an expert of whatever the Watchers exactly were, but it had been enough that he recognized Grian as one pretty quickly when they first met in season six. Though that was partially from that not being their first meeting.

Yes, Joe had been along for a very long time. Which is why he was not happy with everything going on. But he had a bargaining chip in the form of knowledge, so getting to the top might be the one place to try and use it.

His headache passed and the glow from his eyes faded. Joe pulled himself back onto the platform and then adjusted his glasses. Just a bit more to go until he was at the top.

.

.

.

Doc woke up in a wood hut, lying in a bed. His back and head hurt, getting worse when he attempted to move to get up. He tried to remember what happened last, but suddenly being knocked unconscious wasn’t the best thing to try and remember. Looking around in a way that didn’t hurt as much, he was able to see a chest as well as something lying on the ground to his right.

Some crackling implied there was also a furnace running nearby. Mixed with that was some slight banging of metal from crafting and the hum of a tune that was familiar to Doc, but he couldn’t quite place it.

Another attempt to sit up left Doc yelp slightly in pain, stopping the humming and crafting sounds, getting replaced with footsteps that came towards him. “Are you awake this time?”

“Grumbot?” Doc asked, vaguely recognizing the robot that appeared in front of him. He only really distinctly knew his larger form, only seeing him and his brother at this size when they were just about to leave their previous world.

“Yeah. looks like you are. We have some bread if you’re hungry.” Grum spoke in a quiet voice that felt so odd compared to how energetic the hermits usually were. That being said, it had been a while since he had seen anyone else, so it might have just been from what others were dealing with. “I also left some of the wheat as wheat if you prefer that.”

“What? Why would I want that? Bread sounds fine.”

“Okay, I wasn’t sure if you were like dad or not.” Grum said before he went over to the chest, giving Doc a moment to think things over.

“Dad as in Grian or Mumbo?”

“Grian.” Grum answered, pulling out some food. “He was with us on the mountain. Everything was getting to him, so he started eating seeds instead of other stuff.”

“Okay. Is he out getting supplies or something?” Doc asked and then Grum’s face shifted to something sadder. “What happened to Grian?”

“I don’t know.” Grum spoke, managing to be quieter than before. “He just disappeared and Jrum and I were stuck alone on the mountain. And then I messed up.” And it took all of Doc’s willpower to not sit up and possibly hurt himself in the process with how sad Grum sounded in that moment.

“Why? What happened?”

“Someone figured out how to send messages in chat by accident. Jrum and I noticed, and we were going to try it out for ourselves, but it didn’t go right. And now Jrum… Jrum didn’t respawn right.”

And with that comment, Doc realized what was on the ground nearby. Jrum’s body was laid out, screen dark and body unmoving. “How long has he been like that?”

“A few days I think. It got really snowy so I couldn’t quite tell. Then I got busy digging through the snow until I found some ice to break.”

“And that must have been the waterfall I took down off the mountain.” Doc said, making Grum look a little sheepish.

“Sorry about hitting you when I fell. I freaked out a bit and then you were there and I couldn’t react in time. I’m sure if it was anyone else, they would have been in worse shape.”

“Why’s that?” Doc asked, though he had an idea based on which side of him ached more.

“Well, your metal parts helped protect you plus I think your thicker skull helped from a concussion.”

“My what?”

“Oh, I thought you…” Grum said, trailing off. “Um, so I think more weird stuff is happening than just being stuck wherever.”

“Yeah, I knew that.” Doc said. “Creeper instincts have been kicking in like crazy.”

“Well, your death messages mentioned goats a lot. It looks like because of that, you’ve started turning into a goat hybrid as well.”

“I’ve what?” Doc asked, incredulously. He ignored the pain from moving when he started feeling himself over, finally finding horns coming from his head. “Oh… huh…”

Grum forced Doc back down to a resting position before feeding him some bread. Here, how about I tell you what I know about, then you can tell me what you know.

“Sounds good to me.”

[artharakka]

Hey there---I have been hunting for your blog forever! A classmate of mine brought thumbnails of your work to a drawing session, and we have been obsessing over your people. I find the way you illustrate long noses and sort of androgynous-looking faces and big hands really refreshing, and your werewolf druid Vaara is super charming! They really make me want to know more about your campaign world.

I hope you don't mind sharing, but I was curious what software(s) you used for the comic you made, A Dream with Rain. Do you have any general tips for people trying to draw better? Sorry for bamboozling you with questions. Delighted again to have found your blog!

OOof thank you! ❤❤❤ This was a delightful message to get! So cool to know my art exists outside my own little circle (it's sometimes difficult to realize that there are actually so many people behind all the notes my art gets). And also an encouraging ask because I've been struggling with my art style a bit lately (feeling like finally slowly getting there and out of art block now tho). But one of my goals has been to use bolder shapes and lines (like larger features and other than snub noses), glad that you like them as well! And if you read my tags I do have many non-binary characters & I like to play around with masculine and feminine features anyway so ough it's cool that it shows through the art as well ❤ (And oh check out my sis/sibling's art blog @artist-rat as well, they also have a very funky style and draw so expressive faces!!)

This is getting long, so here's a quick doodle of Vaara for you and rest of the answers under the cut!

The campaign Vaara is in is still in the beginning, so I don't know yet either what's to come! My friend @iijadraws (who is the DM) knows more about the lore if you want to know (and if she will spill). So far Vaara's archdruid Aalis noticed something bad was happening to their forest in the north and south. Vaara's dear friend Kiilo gave Vaara a precious key/amulet for luck and went north, Vaara gave Kiilo their stone knife for protection and went south. After a day's travel, she found forest stripped of life, and an old empty stone hut/house. Then strange things started happening, like giant unrecognizable beast coming out of the forest and Vaara's own empty eyed doppelganger staring at them from the empty forest. Vaara freaked out, hid into the stone hut, was cornered, and used her now faintly glowing key to open a door within it. The door became portal, and led them to a mysterious house where they are now stranded with Knell (artist-rat's character). Vaara is still mostly freaking out and attempting to run back home (not happening).

Mmm I want to illustrate more scenes and ramble more about both of the DnDs I'm currently playing (Rhiam's and Vaara's). I have one Rhiam background info & illustration coming up and will hopefully get it posted tomorrow, and I'd like to do more of those for both of them!

THEN What software I used: I've been using Krita for years now and I really like it! It's free and constantly developing (there have been a couple of hiccups in the past, but I haven't had any issues with the latest versions). If you want to know more about some specific feature I used (like brushes, effects, settings in general) feel free to send me another ask/message!

And general art tips: "Practice" is kind of a old and empty answer, so, here's some bit more specific stuff I learned from my art teachers (keep in mind that my art education isn't university level, but I went to a really great upper secondary school (high school?) that had special emphasis on visual arts so it's something).

Try to avoid using eraser or blurring. Especially the latter. One of the first lessons our class learned was not to blur pencil lines with our fingers/paper when shading our works. It was forbidden and it caused outrage, but was really helpful in the end. Airbrush tools have their place, but learn to shade and mix colours without it first (add or lessen pressure, select in-between color manually, cross-hatching). Personally I’ve been really digging using really sharp edged brush to colour my works lately (for paintings I use softer tools, but sharp coloring works really well with my softer line art I think!)

Studies are a great way to improve whether it’s anatomy or colours. I had weekly classes with model for a couple of months back in school but now I’m mostly using images from Unsplash (they are free to use) for color and painting practice. If you want to improve fast, try to do many sketches as fast as you can: we started with 3 minute sketch and then lessened the time so that in the end we were doing 10 second sketches of the model. I think there are sites specifically for this purpose where images/models change with timer? Here big paper & pen/brush might also help (no time to dwell in details, get the overall shape).

Try different mediums and methods: before my art school, I mostly drew with a pencil on A4 or smaller paper, and my art was kind of faint, careful, full of little details, stiff. Then in school I was forced to use watercolours, and acrylic and oil paints, try digital art, use big canvases, sclupt things out of clay and whatnot. It gave me a better sense of how shapes and colours work, but also helped me get bolder with my art (that is still a process, but I developed a LOT). I had drawn my entire life before that but I was shy to change my art and methods. And I know materials can be expensive, but work with what you have. My teacher once made a still life composition out of cleaning cart and other random stuff and made us draw it on a really big paper with big chunky chalks that were taped on long sturdy sticks found from forest. Relatively cheap but forced to draw big shapes and use your entire body rather than just wrist. It looked kinda like this and it’s still one of my favourite classes:

Again, feel free to send ask about specific art (or other) things you'd like to know if any come to mind! And thanks again for the message! Have a great day/evening/whatever time you have there!

[wisehq]

Mission Debrief: Chapter Forty-two

...It's all coming together.

I'm just going to come outright and say it; I had no idea what to write for this review- not because there wasn't anything to discuss, but rather this chapter gave us so much that I didn't know what to focus on first. Chapter forty-two has single-handedly thrown open the doors to a hundred different theories, and believe me when I say that after a whole night of redbull and theorizing I couldn't come up with any clear answers (the folks over at the Strix discord group can attest to that).

So here's what we're gonna do; I'm not going to focus on the chapter itself.

It was cute. Cardshark Anya is hilariously awesome. Damian is a little shit (whom I adore), and the chapters where the kids can just be kids are- in my opinion- the best.

That's all I'm going to say on the matter. For the rest of this review, I want to go over all the facts we know so far about the story and setting. All of the things Endo has been slowly building up in the background and the pieces that we can stitch together from them, starting with this chapter. Two key things stuck out to me.

In the entirety of the story up till this point, this is the first time we have heard mention of a royal anything- and not only that, but this chef is a former royal chef. This of course implies that a) said chef was fired (not likely given that Eden wouldn't likely associate with someone who was disgraced like that) or retired, or b) that there is no royalty anymore. Ostania is a totalitarian state and the main power of the government- from what we've seen- lies with the ruling political party, i.e the National Unity Party, a.k.a Desmond's party. Such a political structure would have no room for royalty in a governing capacity, and therein begs the question; is there still a royal/noble class- albeit in a non-governing sense- or was it abolished sometime in the recent past?

Classical language is not proper speaking and diction like I had originally thought. Classical language is a specific term typically used to describe a dead language or dialect (think Latin, or Hebrew before it was revived). I find this particularly interesting because under no circumstance would a child as young as Anya know anything about a dead language unless- as Loid points out- she was exposed to it as a toddler. It would have had to have been when she was very young, as she herself doesn't realize she knows this information. This would mean she likely learned it from her birth family; Anya was old enough to remember the lab and scientists, meaning she became Subject 007 later on in life- otherwise she would have remembered knowing classical language.

These two concepts are incredibly important to keep in mind, both now and later on as the story progresses. We now know that a royal class plays a factor in the political game that Twilight and everyone else is playing, and we know that Anya knows information that she shouldn't know otherwise (even with her mind-reading powers). So where does that leave us?

Honestly, for the first time...I'm kind of stumped?

Let's look back at the story and see what else we can piece together- maybe there's something in there we can extrapolate for our purposes. Another clue to point us in the direction that Endo is seemingly funneling us towards.

From chapter forty-one

Franklin Perkins was a man who believed in making his country a better place to live. In his eyes and from what he saw, Ostania wasn't going in the right direction- but why? He blames his lack of money for his mother's death, and we see him hold resentment towards the government over socialistic policies. Wealth is something to be shared with others, not hoarded for ones self. That seems to be where Ostania's moral compass is pointing towards, but is that really the case?

From chapter 39

Mr. Green mentions that people have been fleeing to Westalis; from the way he says this it sounds like this is happening currently- not in the past- and people are going so far as to travel through a third country just to get to Westalis. Such a journey isn't without its perils, so anyone attempting to crossover from Ostania would likely be taking a huge risk in doing so. Not only that, but most of what we've seen in the story is Ostanians loathing Westalins...so what would compel people to do this in the first place?

From chapter three As Anya reads the minds of people gathered at a politcal rally near the start of the manga, we see their disgruntled thoughts behind her. There's multiple mentions of losing jobs and not having enough money- some people are even hungry. Most of these people blame Westalis for their troubles, though not the leader of the rally, ironically.

Also from chapter 3

We find out (and often forget) early on that there are multiple political parties in Ostania. Donovan leads the National Unity Party, whereas the political rally we see here is hosted by the Nationalist Party. The latter preaches peace with the west, but many of the people gathered reject this outright. This is important; the N.U.P is the most successful political party in Ostania, which means a majority of the country's citizens approve of their platform. If we're to assume the Nationalist Party's platform is to advocate for peace with Westalis, then we must also assume that the N.U.P stands for the opposite; direct aggression with the west.

From chapter 31 The Zacharis Dossier, though ultimately a bust, hinted at rumors that have permeated East and West since the start of the cold war. We know for a fact that human experiments did indeed take place in Ostania, so it also stands to reason that there is at least a kernel of truth to the claims of P.O.W (prisoner of war) massacres conducted by the west. It's a heinous crime, and also one that leads to another question; why would any country go through with it in the first place? In addition, piggy-backing off the former point;

From chapter 19 While Loid details Project Apple, he uses the word 'regime' to describe the former Ostanian government. The literal definition of a regime is a government, especially an authoritarian one (Oxfrod Dictionary). I won't highlight all the specifics of what is and isn't authoritarianism, but essentially the point I'm trying to make here is that the current Ostanian administration is still very much a regime. Donovan acts as the authoritarian ruler (or would-be ruler; we don't know if he's actively in charge or is looking to usurp power for himself) and continues on the legacy of the former government. We know for a fact that this is the case because Anya is only at most 6 years old, likely even younger. That would mean the experiments being run on her had to have been recent, which fits with the time frame that we established at the beginning of this rabbit hole- it also aligns with what we know about what Donovan has been doing on the back end of things. Those who have kept up with my reviews know what I'm talking about; gloom pharmaceuticals, the truth serum, OSO-R, etc. All of that, which then leads us to...

...right back where we started. So...what then? What can we conclude from all this? At least a few things;

Anya is tied to Desmond- either directly or indirectly.

Anya's past is also Ostania's past; she's familiar with a dead language that's no longer spoken, and there's definitely a reason why no one speaks it anymore.

Ostania is in a period of political and economic turmoil. This also comes on the heels of a (possible) former monarchy, and the struggle of a country willing to embrace authoritarianism so long as it means staying alive.

WISE and Westalis are not innocent in this game of chess with Ostania and the SSS, and more than likely have committed atrocities that may or may not be directly tied to Ostania and- possibly- Anya's past.

And...this is as far as I can go. I've hit a wall, as have other people I've talked to. We're still missing pieces to the puzzle. Endo will of course provide us with more clues and theory fodder as the weeks and months progress, but for now this is as far as I can go on my own. On the one hand I feel defeated because I can't come up with a meaningful explanation for everything and present it in a neat little bundle for you all to read, but on the other hand I'm thoroughly enjoying this. I'm more engaged with this manga and story than any other I've read before; I'm at the edge of my seat every week, and I'm sure most of you are, too. For now, I'll leave the review here. I find it fitting to leave it open ended, just as Endo did with Loid's self-imposed question. Hopefully, like him, we can find answers in the near future.

Also, BONUS...

...No fun panel with a snappy comment this time. Instead, I’m going to humbly ask for your help.

If you have any ideas about where you think the story is going, theories as to how everything fits together, or just really want to discuss the manga with other fans- please check out our forum and share with us. We’d love to hear what you all think; not only that, but a lot more heads makes theorizing both more productive and a whole lot more fun. Check it out if you have the time, or- if you don’t feel like clicking on any links- you can always leave a comment either on this post or send us an ask or message. Anytime, any reason, we’d love to talk SxF.

Again, thanks for reading, and we’ll see you all next chapter!

[musicalorder4869]

General Servamp headcanons - Envy and Lust pairs

Just some random headcanons me and my sister (Ani) have about our favourite Servamp/Eve pairs xD Hope they’re ok, and sorry for the long post 😅

Mikuni Alicein

Mikuni used to be very skilled at playing the violin, although he gave it up a long time ago. On occasion, he would pick it up again and play for himself but if he catches anyone listening, he would stop immediately.

Because of a certain person, Mikuni doesn’t like strawberries or pasta in tomato or meat sauce.

When he is not working at the Land of Nod or gathering intel, Mikuni often plays chess or card games with Jeje to pass the time.

Despite smiling a lot when talking to people, it is actually rare to see Mikuni give a genuine smile. However, there are times when he will let one slip, such as when he’s looking pictures of a small Misono, star-gazing at night or making something for Abel.

I’m still not sure of Abel’s connection with Mikuni other than being involved in “My Fair Lady”, but I like to think that she is somehow key to his mental stability. When she is with him, Mikuni acts ‘normal’: calculating, rational and confident but without, he’s either like a scared child or completely loses his mind.

Once, Mikuni lost Abel in a shopping mall and went to the information desk to report a lost person rather than a lost item. Jeje had to stop him and apologise to the confused people at the desk.

Both Mikuni and Misono are strong strategists, and with recent events, Mikuni sometimes refers to their actions as “playing chess with real people as their pieces”. He is like a mirror of Misono: whilst his brother wants to protect everyone, is loved and always has people by his side, Mikuni is willing to sacrifice anything to reach his goals, was erased by his family and forgotten for a period of time and wanders alone with Jeje.

Like Misono, he is scared of the dark, thunder and lightning as it brings back bad memories for him.

Mikuni doesn’t forgive himself for what happened at the Alicein Manor and feels like he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven either. This is part of the reason why he is jealous of Tsurugi; whilst the latter started off with nothing, he was gaining more as he went and was accepted despite what he did under Touma. Mikuni, on the other hand, had everything but ended up losing it all.

Jeje

When trying to contact him, it is rare that he would actually reply but messages would be on ‘read’. The only people he would respond to is Lily on very specific occasions or Mikuni if they weren’t together. Even then, it is usually a sentence at most.

He cares about each of his siblings equally but gets along with Lily the most. It hurts him when something happens to them or if he was ordered to hurt them, but he would never show it.

Jeje is surprisingly good with children, even though he sometimes finds them noisy. Back at the Alicein Manor, Lily would persuade him to leave the basement on occasion and play with his Subclass. As he was good at making things, the kids would love to sit and watch him make his bottled ships or origami ornaments.

In his snake form, he is not only coiled around Mikuni because it’s convenient, but also because it offers a sense of security from other animals.

Most of Jeje’s Subclass were people who had been executed after being falsely accused or framed for a crime. After turning them into a vampire, he usually leaves them to live their life and only keeps in contact with a few. Good B and Bad B are examples of this (I headcanon that Bad B was accused of being a witch and Good B was a butler who was framed for murder or something idk).

His favourite season is Autumn, where it is neither too hot or too cold and finds the atmosphere relaxing. Despite hating the cold, he also likes certain aspects of winter such as staying indoors with a hot drink and warmth as he works on his bottled ships. Like watching the leaves fall in Autumn, he views the snowfall as beautiful and peaceful. Until Mikuni comes and dumps snow down his back.

Speaking of Mikuni, there are times when Jeje worries about him. Since leaving the Alicein manor after that incident, he often wonders how his Eve handles it beneath the confident and cheerful exterior he puts on. For this reason and his own guilt for Mikuni’s family falling apart due to Envy, Jeje chose to remain by Mikuni’s side despite his Eve’s questionable decisions.

I feel like Jeje might have been someone who was trained to take orders without question or expressing their own opinion on it when he was a human, which is why he follows Mikuni’s instructions regardless of whether he agrees with them or not.

Misono Alicein

He tries, but he is not very good at cooking.

Tsurugi sometimes nicknames him “Ube-chan” or “Taro-chan” due to his purple colour scheme.

He is a fan of classical music, usually listening to it as he studies or if he is deep in thought. However, he has been trying more modern songs too but dislikes rock and metal.

After leaving the garden, Misono tries everything that he had missed out on; hanging out with friends, travelling on public transport and staying over at either Mahiru or Tetsu’s, being supported by those around him.

Animals like him and whilst he may seem annoyed, he actually likes it and is good with them.

He is confused with pop culture references but is slowly learning.

Misono is better at board games and puzzle solving than he is at video games though when he does play with Mahiru, Kuro and Tetsu, he likes multiplayer and party games despite not being very good at them.

I feel like if there is anyone who could save Mikuni from whatever he is up to at the moment, it would most likely be Misono and Tsurugi. The latter is a lot more perceptive than people realise and with Misono’s planning, they’ll probably be able to figure something out.

Snow Lily

If any of his siblings find or make subclasses that are children, they usually send them his way. He is happy to care for them and seeing them get along well with his own Subclass.

He has a talent for baking and finds joy being in the kitchen making treats for Misono or his Subclass. Sometimes, he would make snacks for them to have during the lessons or when the group decides to have a movie or game night.

I can imagine Lily being good at dancing, especially at the waltz or ballroom and sometimes teaches Misono. When working, he would subconsciously hum classical tunes to himself with a fond smile on his face, although he doesn’t realise he’s doing it.

Lily is skilled at sewing, often mending any tears in clothing to the point they look new again. He would also make clothes and dolls or accessories for the children, Misono and the other Servamps and Eves on special occasions like their birthdays and Christmas. Some of the Easter and Halloween costumes they own were also made by Lily.

Although he likes being around others, there are times when he enjoys the quiet and just have a bit of time to himself. When he does, he likes to light a few scented candles and sit down with a book.

It is very difficult to get him angry.

Just like Jeje does for him, Lily cares a lot about his older brother too. He doesn’t blame him for what happened in the Alicein Household and like how he wishes Mikuni and Misono would reconcile, he wants to be able to talk things out with Jeje too.

He didn’t used to be friendly and cheerful, instead having a past of being unloved which left him resenting the fact that he was turned into a vampire. He initially didn’t want to interact with his siblings and questioned his existence but it wasn’t until Jeje raised his voice at him about the latter issue that he gradually started changing. Now, he’s the one who’s afraid of being rejected by the people he loves.

[xiyao-feels]

new tu and xiyao fan from earlier. i searched ao3 as per your suggestion and there's only 500 or so fics for them. :( however, i do have a legit question - what are the differences between mdzs and tu (i've never read the latter). and if you want expand on nieyao (or xiyao) please feel free! i love reading meta! one of the few reasons i miss old school fandom spaces lol. thank you!! :D

Hmmm, I see about eight hundred if I limit to English? But I take your point! But that was just as a way to start; once you do find an author you like, you can look at their bookmarks, for example. (Also I'm not sure if you're familiar with the AO3, but if not, sorting by kudos when doing a general search is a way to get stuff that at least lots of people thought was good. I'm not saying it's perfect, but when you're starting in a fandom it can be better than the default by-date-updated.)

Also I'll take the opportunity to plug my absolute favourite xiyao author, roquen. I didn't mention them last time because they haven't I believe written a post-canon fixit, and you should know that they're mostly sticking to MDZS instead of CQL canon, although with some sprinkling of CQL elements and characterization. Some particular favourites of mine include their AtLA AU and their Sunshot/on the run fics (both series with a couple of short fics), their what you might call a mid-temple hopeful fix-it (divergence where LWJ strikes to kill and LXC takes the blow), the baby LXC fic ("Lan Xichen reverts to being a fifteen-year-old junior, and immediately gets an epic crush on Lianfang-zun"; disclaimer that I was fairly involved with the creation of this one but it's GREAT) and, of course, above all, their gigantic canon fix-it verse, it's worth it every time. It's SO GOOD and the characterization is fantastic and the prose is excellent and UGH. It's so good!!!!! Disclaimer that the second fic in the series, which is the main work, is still WIP, but roquen updates regularly and there are only a couple of chapters left; if you're still wary of WIPs, I'd at least recommend the first fic, which stands alone and is brilliant in its own right.

As to the differences between MDZS and CQL…ho boy. There are quite a few, both major and minor, and I'm by no means familar with all of them—especially the ones that don't involve 3zun, lol. I tried to google around but unfortunately the ones I found tended to be either short or, if more in-depth, contain inaccuracies about JGY/LXC—I think people tend to be more interested in the Wangxian, and then this stuff goes by the wayside. The wiki can be a good source for differences for specific incidents, and although I think it's not always accurate it /does/ usually cite chapter or episode, which can be pretty helpful. 

This, by hualiann, looks like a good overview, though I'd add that JYL, WQ and WN didn't study at Cloud Recesses in the novel and that more generally MDZS has a lot of actual undead.

In general my advice is to take things people say about the novel with a large grain of salt, myself included. And about CQL, too! I have no idea if this is you but when I joined the fandom, if people asserted stuff about CQL I tended to just kind of take it as fact—oh, I thought, I must have misremembered! My memory is pretty terrible, and honestly there was absolutely stuff I did misremember. But also sometimes other people misremember, or fanon gets taken as canon, and then there's stuff like—I mean, I'm certainly not going to blame people for not realizing that "JGY conspired with XY at the Unclean Realm" is a lot more uncertain than you might guess at first, especially if they're more Wangxian focused which most people in the fandom are, but I'm still not going to present it as straight-up fact. (veliseraptor has a recent post examining this here which I would very much recommend).

Honestly I think I'd recommend reading the MDZS NMJ Empathy flashback—chapters 48, 49, and the beginning of 50. That gets you a lot of the JGY, LXC and NMJ backstory, and then you can compare for yourself! I'm also going to recommend Mercy's thread, here, listing common fanons about MDZS (I will add to the list, since it's a bugbear of mine, the idea that LXC recognized NMJ's fierce corpse by his abs).

Okay with all that out of the way, and in no particular order, Sun's extremely idiosyncratic and particularly- aka mostly JGY-focused differences list:

-In MDZS, LXC doesn't become Sect Leader until the burning of Cloud Recesses by the Wen, when his father is injured and then succumbs to his wounds. In CQL, he's Sect Leader from the beginning of the show, his father having apparently died not too long before the show started.

-In MDZS, MY wasn't working for the Nie at all before the beginning of Sunshot; he joined the Nie forces just after Sunshot began. NMJ didn't instantly promote him to be his deputy when he's telling at the Nie men for bad-mouthing him; it takes a few more encounters and/or battles with the Wen (after which MY clears the battlefield and helps the commoners).

-In MDZS, xiyao's first meeting happens when LXC is on the run with the Lan books after the burning of Cloud Recesses. We don't see it happen on the page, and we don't know any details of that time beyond, like, MY helped LXC.

-NMJ willingly sends MY away from the Nie, with a letter of recommendation for JGS, after, uh, an extended overhearing of a conversation between MY and LXC wherein MY's desire to be recognized by his father and gain a proper place in the Jin, the opportunity offered for that by JGS recruiting talent at Langya, and the possible difficulty of obtaining permission from NMJ are all established. 

-NMJ sees MY stabbing a /Jin/ captain, at Langya, after he goes looking for MY. Rather than taking a blow for NMJ, MY stabs himself, faking suicide, then immobilizes NMJ (who's trying to save his life) and flees. This is because NMJ wants MY to go turn himself in for killing the captain; MY thinks they'll kill him, while NMJ says that if the captain has actually been mistreating MY as MY said, MY won't be killed. Personally I think that all the evidence suggests that MY is right, and NMJ is blind to the effects of his position to the extent it's a not insignificant moral failure.

-Okay, so, you know how in CQL MY stabs WRH while he's distracted with WWX, outside on the steps with the Sunshot alliance right outside? In /MDZS/, they're in the Sun Palace, WWX isn't anywhere near the place, he does it to save NMJ's life, and then he starts lugging NMJ's unconscious body out of the palace. And then NMJ comes to consciousness amd demands his sabre and tries to kill him. He likely only survives because of NMJ's wounds, and if LXC hadn't shown up (responding to a message MY sent for aid for NMJ) NMJ might easily have killed him. If you want a more in-depth analysis, I take a close look here in my response to someone's, er, imaginative interpretation of NMJ and JGY's relationship in MDZS.

-In CQL, NMJ's qi deviation happens at the stairs incident. In MDZS, it happens later, when he overhears JGY being upset to LXC about how NMJ treated him at the stairs, and, overcome with rage that JGY would dare (arguably in combination with being polite and pleasant to NMJ's face, although the last time he was confrontational to NMJ's face NMJ kicked him down the stairs and tried to kill him so), he kicks open the door and tries to kill him. He also kills several people as he's qi deviating (seeing them as JGY—while in CQL he also sees several JGYs they seem to be just illusions), and injures NHS.

-In MDZS, NMJ sets fire to all of NHS' nice things. I don't think we're told either way in CQL, although it's worth noting that in MDZS this happens after the stairs (and before JGY starts playing for him again). (I think they do something in FJ?? But I don't take FJ as canon for CQL; see confusion-and-more's post here).

-In CQL, JGY suggests to NMJ that he's always played the corrupted Clarity for him (though granted this is in Empathy, so it's hard to say for sure if this is what he actually said, but in any case it's the only version we're given). In MDZS, it's strongly indicated that JGY only started playing Turmoil for NMJ /after/ the stairs—there's a variety of evidence, but I think the most objective is that WWX, who in MDZS Empathy can literally feel NMJ's anger, actually observes it working beforehand:

Since [JGY started playing for NMJ], Jin GuangYao would travel from Lanling to Qinghe every few days, playing Sound of Lucidity to help quell Nie MingJue rage. He tried his hardest, without speaking even a single word of complaint. Sound of Lucidity was indeed effective. Wei WuXian could clearly feel that the hostile energy within Nie MingJue was being suppressed.

(Exiled Rebels translation, ch. 49)

And then the next scene is the stairs incident, so.

-In general, the degree to which JGY's position is completely awful is played down in CQL. confusion-and-more talks about it a bit here; I'd also note that some of JGY's dialogue defending himself is removed ( “Some trivial achievements?” He spoke in a shaking voice, “…What do you mean, some trivial achievements? ChiFeng-Zun, do you know how much work I put into such trivial achievements? How much I suffered? Glory? Without the handful of glory I have nothing!”, for example), we don't hear about his mother at the guqin scene, the temple flashback where his mother is dragged naked outside by a client and he's kicked down the brothel stairs is eliminated, etc etc.

-There is absolutely no second flutist in MDZS; also JGY tells us in the temple that QS was already pregnant before he found out about the incest. I think even in CQL it's questionable whether he actually intended to kill Zixuan (see this whole conversation), and significant unveiling or no CQL never actually says QS wasn't pregnant before their marriage so I tend to go with that too, but certainly it's easy to walk away with the impression that he definitely did both deliberately, especially if you aren't familiar with the novel.

-(In general, I think CQL JGY is a lot more sympathetic than most people think once you look closely, but he's also very much set up to look upon a more casual watching as Villain, so.)

-In CQL it's All A-Yao All The Time but in MDZS we see LXC calling him san-di after the sworn brotherhood, and then it's back to A-Yao in the present day (see my last addition on this chain here).

-In MDZS, JGY doesn't shove JL out of the way of the incoming attack.

-The LXC lifting JGY out of his bow thing is from CQL

-The watchtowers! Oh /man/ the watchtowers. God the watchtowers are so much. Uh, confusion-and-more has a post about how much they're mentioned in MDZS vs CQL here, and see my last addition to this thread for an argument that the watchtowers were indeed a force for good. God. Twelve hundred watchtowers. He must have saved so many lives...

-confusion-and-more's watchtower post also reminds me that CQL has the Guanyin temple giving out medicine, while MDZS does not

-The episode 23 scene where Sect Leaders Jin, Nie, and Lan agree to spare some of the Wen doesn't exist in MDZS (though I'll take the opportunity to observe that I disagree with popular interpretations of that scene, see point three here).

-In MDZS NMJ's fierce corpse is literally trying to kill JGY, there's no saber spirit. And like, it's been trying to kill JGY for a long damn time, that's why JGY dismembered him.

-The XY plotline—in MDZS, JGY recommends a young XY (who at thay point has a reputation but is not known to have committed any massacres) as a Jin cultivator, as part of an effort by JGS to recreate the Yin Tiger Seal. JGS has multiple people trying, but most of them aren't getting anywhere and XY is getting furthest. It's during this time that XY kills the Chang clan, and is discovered as guilty by XXC, who brings up the evidence at a conference happening in Lanling; the Jin are stalling, MMJ gets angry and shows up, he almost kills XY on the spot and gives JGS a lecture such that he's forced to relent and sentence XY to death (and incidentally scares JGY, imho quite seriously, while he's at it). Then JGS turns it into life imprisonment once NMJ has left, and then NMJ is extremely angry and attacks JGY at the stairs. (Ch. 30 and 118)

-I mentioned before but I'll add it here too: in CQL JGY asks LXC to stay and die with him, and LXC agrees.

-The CQL ending in general is...hmmm. Despite having most of the elements which complicate MDZS' ending (JL is in a terrible position!), it kind of presents as...happy ending all is fixed now? In MDZS I think it's presented as—more complicated, even though Wangxian do very much get their happy ending.

-Also LWJ is a lot less. uh. Okay, so in CQL he's more Mr Morality, and in MDZS it's much more Wei Ying Right Or Wrong. Also, he doesn't become Chief Cultivator in MDZS! I think that's my least favourite change, because it's like...LWJ hates politics, hates compromise, and never attends the cultivation conferences. At least one of 'this is going to be a major diisaster' and 'LWJ is going to have to go through some significant shifts in his worldview and approach' are going to have to happen, but that's not the vibe CQL gives off at all, and I think it really works against some of the major themes of the text :/

-OH RIGHT I knew I was forgetting something—in MDZS MXY's revenge is focused solely on the Mo; JGY is not part of the curse.

Okay I don't want to go too much on about xiyao or nieyao, because this is already quite long and I don't want you to be waiting forever, but broadly although I certainly think NMJ cares about JGY a great deal it seems to be about his competence and potential; he doesn't really seem to, like, actually like who he is as a person. JGY, meanwhile, is at first very grateful to and then increasingly exasperated by and very much fucking terrified of NMJ, but...well, he doesn't seem to be into him or interested in spending time with him for the sake of it or etc etc.

On the other hand—xiyao. Man, xiyao!!!! They just—they get each other so fast, they're /partners/, they work together so well, they like and they respect each other, they're both like—LXC and MS are on their own tier for JGY, LWJ and JGY are on their own tier for LXC, they're for each other in a way neither is for anyone else, they care a lot about the same things—it's not perfect overlap, obviously, but it's more overlap I think than either has with anyone else, they—invest, they're builders, JGY was planning the watchtowers project from way back and although I have no doubt he was driving it LXC was with him and!!!! ugh!!!!! xiyao are REALLY GREAT, okay.

[ticklepinions]

I am definitely one of those followers of your blog with a fixation that can get overwhelming at times and I read your blog and think I am someone who probz “uses” people for my own satisfaction. I’m not like that as a person and I think I do it as its impossible for me to have these conversations irl with friends. But now you made me aware so thanks and yeah sorry if I made you uncomfy so from now on I know better and will try to stop being demanding. is descriptive stuff always weird?

It's okay, don't want you to beat yourself up over it. Sometimes it does get to that point and you may need someone to tell you that you're overstepping.

Most people in the tickle community only have tumblr to talk to. And that's fine. However it can't be an excuse for creepy behaviour (not saying you specifically). So our first instinct usually would be to DM someone immediately starting with tickle talk. We get so excited to finally be apart of a community where everyone likes the same thing and we already messed up. Which is why I try to be kind when someone does come off as a "I'm only here to talk tickles" person. They could just possibly need someone to remind them that they'd never talk to someone irl like that so why do it online y'know? There are lots of talks and discussion on why we shouldn't let this fixation/fetish take control of us. And this is why. We lose who we truly are, and become nothing more than an obsessed husk of our former selves. It's dangerous. You can and I believe you will form a healthy amount of love for tickling and feet.

Like I said, nothing wrong with being into what you're into. Now as for description. Diction is (forgive me for not saying the actual definition) choosing certain words to convey a specific message. So you could choose to say "this ice cream is cold" or "this ice cream is freezing". Both convey that the ice cream is cold but the latter places more emphasis on the lack of temperature. I'll provide you some examples and go over why they made me uncomfy.

So first ask is objectifying IMO. Like your friend was nothing but "soles" and belly to tickle.

The second ask. Uh. For me it's the non-consensual aspect to it. Tickling can in fact be torture to people. Just because you like it doesn't force others to like it too.

Third ask. Again the implied non-consensual aspect.

Final ask. Anon said it themselves. "Massive consent issues". I know these aren't the most in-depth in terms of why it's uncomfy to ask things like the above. I usually go by vibes lmao, and all the above were weird. If anyone is reading still and want to respectfully add their two cents it would be greatly appreciated.

In conclusion, I respect you for coming forward and apologizing. I hope you keep yourself accountable so you won't make the same mistakes in the future. You can always send me asks, I don't mind talking about feet/tickles, to me they're a fun place to tickle so why not. Hope you have a great day, drink some water pls.

[merakiaes]

Please block the following tags for future reference if you get triggered by any of the following:

(TW - FATPHOBIA, EATING DISORDERS, OBESITY, BODY-SHAMING, FAT-SHAMING!)

After having had a long and pointless argument with a Karen online this morning who accused me of being "tWo-FaCeD" for encouraging love and appreciation for all body types while, simultaneously, not being happy with my own weight, I've got a lot on my mind that I feel need to be said and so I'm gonna break my temporary and unannounced hiatus to rant.

IDK who needs to hear this today, no matter which one of the mindsets mentioned that you belong to, but

You can be fat and still like the way you look. These two things can co-exist without it meaning that you're encouraging obesity.

You can be fat and not like the way you look. These two things can co-exist without it meaning that you are being internally/generally fatphobic.

You can be fat and not like the way you look, and still encourage body positivity and compliment other people with a body type identical or similar to yours. These two things can coexist without it making you a hypocrite.

You can be fat and like the way you look but still want to lose weight, without it automatically meaning that you aren't comfortable in your body as it is or that you're being hypocritical for teaching self-love to others while wanting to change yourself. You're allowed to love yourself but still want to make changes.

Not feeling comfortable in your own skin rarely has anything to do with looking down at a specific body type, but rather looking down on yourself as an individual. This is a very important distinction to make as an addition to the previous points.

Self-worth comes from within and everyone gets it in their own way. Some want to lose weight, some want to gain weight, others simply want to practice their confidence and become comfortable in their body as it is. And all of those things. Are. Okay.

A fat person wearing swimwear or any other kind of clothing that shows the tiniest sliver of skin is not, in any way, them promoting or encouraging obesity. Nor is a fat person being proud and happy in their body.

"You're already fat but you need to get fatter. You're not fat enough. Eat more." This is an example of what "encouraging" obesity would look like. Have you ever heard anyone say this to someone? No? That's what I thought. Encouraging obesity isn't even a fucking thing. NO ONE encourages obesity, least of all obese people.

The promotion of obesity does, however, exist, and it exists through the excessive ads for fast-food restaurants as well as the way unhealthy fast food is cheaper than healthy whole food. That's where the problem lies. The problem does not lie with bigger people proudly showing off their bodies that are just as deserving of love and appreciation as anyone else's.

To sum it all up: one thing does not have to equal another. All of the "combinations" mentioned above can co-exist without it necessarily having to be problematic or hypocritical in any way despite the fact that they are contradicting.

Are there higher risks for certain health problems with being obese? Yes, there absolutely is. I'm saying that as a severely obese person, myself.

But with the way you're saying that fat people are "promoting" and "encouraging" obesity by loving themselves and being comfortable in themselves, or simply just existing as overweight people, you are saying that they SHOULDN'T love themselves. That, in turn, is literally like you're saying that being at greater risk for certain complications makes a person unworthy of love. Because that's all obesity is, at the end of the day, isn't it? You're at a bigger risk of developing health hazards. That's literally the "only" problem.

But so are people who are immunocompromised. So are people who have hereditary diseases and conditions going back for generations in their family. So are people who eat too little, who starve themselves to lose weight.

Do you tell them that they shouldn't love themselves? That they aren't worthy of love? That they're promoting and encouraging people to get sick just by existing? No, you don't.

With the latter, you do the exact opposite, don't you? You encourage them no matter how unhealthy they get to love themselves, you tell them that their bodies are beautiful just the way they are, that they don't need to make any changes.

When you stumble upon someone who refuses to eat because they, for example, don't like the way they look, your first instinct isn't to accuse them of promoting and encouraging eating disorders. Your first instinct is to coddle them, feel sorry for them and tell them they're beautiful just the way they are.

Now, I'm not saying that's always the case. I used to be anorectic in my youth and know from experience that there are plenty of people out there who look down on anorectic people and tell them that they're encouraging eating disorders, as well, and that's an entire problem of its own that I'm not going to get into right now seeing as this post is specifically dedicated to the body-shaming of bigger individuals.

I'm also not saying that anorectic people don't deserve to be treated with this support and love, I'm only pointing out that this kind of support is missing for obese people.

The point is that you don't body-shame obese people because you're scared your children are going to be badly influenced by these obese people "pRoMoTiNg" and "EnCoUrAgiNg" obesity. You're body-shaming them because society has taught you that certain bodies simply aren't acceptable in the eyes of societal norms. You're body-shaming them because you've allowed yourself to be brainwashed by these norms and for said norms to make you a narrow-minded, fatphobic piece of shit. That's all it is, really. You aren't body-shaming them because you think they're encouraging obesity; you're body-shaming fat people because you're fatphobic. F-A-T-P-H-O-B-I-C.

Had you truly been worried about fat people "promoting" or "encouraging" obesity", you would've been equally as worried about thin people "promoting" and "encouraging" anorexia. But being thin is the societal norm while being fat is not, so what does it matter if a person is thin to the point where they are unhealthy and at risk for complications? They're thin, right? So in the eyes of an outsider, it's okay.

That just brings us to the subject of eating disorders and the fact that eating disorders can go both ways. Eating disorders aren't always about losing weight, about being thin. Eating disorders can also, in various ways, cause you to gain weight. And don't even get me started on the fact that obesity isn't always caused by an eating disorder or over-eating, just like obsessive starvation and anorexia isn't always the cause of someone being underweight. Everyone acknowledges the latter, but few are ready to acknowledge the former. But that is a conversation for another time.

This post is, in no way, meant to shit on or look down on anorectic people, or people who are just naturally underweight and can't gain weight no matter how hard they try. They are just as valid and worthy of love and support that fat people are and I know that they struggle with prejudice and false accusations left and right, as well, but this post, in particular, is dedicated to the unfair treatment fat people have to endure.

With that said, if I have worded something wrong that makes anyone upset, please send me a message and tell me how I can word it better. English is not my first language and I sometimes struggle to get my point across.

Said point is that all shapes and sizes are equally as valid and equally as beautiful and worthy of love and appreciation, and if you've found yourself feeling personally attacked by this post, please unfollow me if you are a follower. I don't want anyone on my page who thinks being overweight and wearing a bathing suit in public equals promoting and encouraging obesity. Thank you for coming to my rant😇

[galacticnova3]

Ok I had thoughts in the shower that are kinda serious/about something mature and I felt compelled to share. CW for discussion of prosh/pp/ng. If you do that and somehow found this, not sorry, this post isn’t for you, also stop doing that and get help. Won’t tolerate any clowning either.

I think the main reason “proshippers” get away with That a lot is because in many cases they’re warping actual fair arguments. Like, yes, there is not necessarily something majorly wrong with portraying unhealthy relationships, because they exist in real life, and ultimately all art reflects aspects of real life. It’s in the same boat as the fact that it’s not bad to portray bad people or horrific events. However, all of that hinges on whether or not these things are being shown for what they are; if you keep saying/implying a character is good or cool or “relatable” and that character is in a situation like that– victim or perpetrator– you are automatically glorifying that thing. You can’t write it off as “just a character flaw” if it is not being portrayed as a flaw; that’s how character flaws work, because ultimately the vast majority of flaws can also be virtues under the right conditions, and vise versa.

Then people make the argument “well authors/artists/etc don’t have to spoon feed what is and isn’t ok to their audience”, and while that is true on some level, that does not mean they have no responsibility at all. Not just to people consuming that content, but to themselves. If you write something terrible and put it in a good light, or what can be reasonably interpreted as a good light, you can’t get mad if people assume you are supporting that thing. In that situation you have not given any true evidence that you don’t; “I’m not x” isn’t enough, because people can lie. Generally, most murderers don’t answer honestly if someone asks them if they killed someone or not. Actions speak louder than words, and if your action is writing, you are responsible for what that writing reflects on you and your views. If people come after you for it, that’s a sign that you should reflect on what you’ve written, and what message it is sending. Even if you had good intentions, people don’t see your intentions, they see what you produced, and sometimes the two don’t line up. Cancel culture is a pain in the ass, but so is the fact that the proship movement allows legitimately disgusting people to thrive under the cover of plausible deniability.

In the case of fan content, there’s the simple fact that not all franchises are safe mediums for making that stuff. It’s not censorship for someone to tell you not to make that content if you’re making it with the characters/the universe of a children’s franchise. Because ultimately, that franchise is going to be majorly consumed by children. It doesn’t matter how well you tag things or how many warnings you put on it, because ultimately the internet is going to put that thing in front of eyes that can be harmed by it. I am saying this as someone who’s first exposure to porn, before I was even in highschool, was Kirby fanart on Google images, despite having safe search on. In the grand scheme of the Internet, the only control you really have is whether you put something on it or not, and where you put that thing, and this is a situation where that is an incredibly important decision. Do you post it on social media where it could very easily be exposed to people who should not be exposed to that, whether because of algorithms or others being less responsible? Do you post it privately in a place where you know(or assume) the other people there are responsible and not going to circulate it? Or, do you keep that content to yourself?

That is not you being asked to be a “second parent”, this is not a “think of the children!” argument. Or, rather, it is a case of the latter, but one that is justified. If you’re making that content with original characters, or characters from a mature franchise, thinking of the children isn’t a priority because the children aren’t supposed to be there, just like you’re not responsible if you’ve been made to share a house with a kid that ends up finding your stash of Mature Things. Whether it was them snooping around without permission or you told them to stay away from that drawer and they didn’t listen, that’s the kid’s fault either way, and thus you bear basically no responsibility. However, if you make that content in a franchise that is consistently, obviously, and intentionally made to be consumed by children, even if it can also be enjoyed by adults? That’s different. That’s like walking into a playground with a porn magazine; it doesn’t matter if people your age can enjoy some of the things there, like the swings or basketball court. You need, and are expected, to take into account that kids are not only likely going to be there, but are encouraged to be there. You walking in with that magazine is you willingly choosing to expose or risk exposing minors to content they should not be exposed to, no matter how you spin it. You could read that magazine anywhere else, and you chose the area with kids in it.

Lastly, while I could make the argument of what reasoning there may be for wanting to make That Stuff with characters from a children’s series and then share it online in the first place, that’s been done by plenty of other people. Besides, I have a better argument: there is nothing stopping you from making that content with different characters anyways, be they your own or just from a franchise with a mature audience. You are not forced or limited to only portray a certain dynamic with certain specific characters. If the setting/universe is a factor, just make your own version with the relevant things in common, maybe change some terms and names, and there, problem solved. It’s not plagiarism if it is going to be utilized in a vastly different way, and as long as it does not just flat out copy every single aspect of the original. Something something a lot of fiction is derivative. Doing this could also allow a place for others to make similar content in what could eventually be your own “series”, without nearly the same level of risk of harm. If it is truly a case of just wanting to explore the dynamic, you can do so without having it be inherently tied to content made for young audiences, and if you have the skills and critical thinking necessary to understand both what makes it “special” with those characters, you should also be able to recreate the same thing in a safer environment.

I know I kinda focused a lot on “kid’s franchises” with this but the same things apply with other content. I.E. don’t make content that depicts mentally ill folks as dangerous where it could hurt/offend real mentally ill people and misinform those who don’t know the reality of mental illness. “Common sense” isn’t real; all “common sense” is learned, and not everyone has learned the same things you have at any given point. How else would ridiculous rumors and such spread, if everyone knew the truth?

TLDR:

-The issue isn’t you making the content, it’s you glorifying the content. Whether you intended to or not isn’t the point.

-You don’t have to spoon feed morals to your audience, but if people reasonably interpret unhealthy things shown in a light that isn’t explicitly or implicitly negative as your quiet support, that’s on you. You need to be sure that the message your content actually sends/how it reflects your views lines up with the message you intended to send and the views you actually have. Don’t blame others if you were the one who failed to communicate effectively.

-In the case of franchises specifically aimed at children, you posting that content is you saying you value sharing that content over the well-being of those likely to see that content. You had the choice to keep the risk of harm at 0%, but decided not to.

-That fact is not a “think of the children” argument, it is simply making the same point as someone telling you not to bring pornography into a kid’s playground, even if that playground has facilities others your age also enjoy. You are bringing adult content into a kid-oriented area, you cannot act like it is the fault of a kid for finding it when in some cases they weren’t even looking.

-There is ultimately no excuse for making that content within a children’s franchise, because there is nothing forcing you to remain in that setting and use those characters; if the dynamic is something you really want to explore, you can recreate it without ties that could lead minors to it.

-Though I used kid’s franchises as my main focus, this applies to any groups that your content could potentially harm or misinform. “It’s just common sense” is not a defense for the latter, because “common sense” has to be learned, and not everyone learns everything at the same time or by the same age.

[missnight0wl]

If you have any problems with me being Rakepick’s fan, me being overly passionate and invested in her character, my analyses and theories about Rakepick or whatever, I have two things to say to you:

If it really bothers you so much that you feel the need to share it with someone, why don’t you come to me? The anonymous messages are on on my blog, at least for now. What’s the deal with people talking about problems they apparently have with me with someone else? And I’m not even talking about the recent reblog. Do you think that I won’t see the messages on other blogs and recognise that it’s about me? Do you think that somebody else can explain my ideas better than I can? If you have problems with my theories or you just want to call them pointless or “reaching”, write to me. Are you worried that I’ll respond with arguments you can’t argue with? Are you afraid I’ll insult you? I never claimed to be the nicest person, but I think I’m not that bad. Sure, I swear a lot, but in the vast majority, it’s aimed at Jam City and their stupid writing decisions. So, what’s the deal with that?

If the things I write make you uncomfortable, bother you, you feel attacked, or you simply dislike the ideas I write about, especially when it comes to Rakepick – please, unfollow or block me. I mean it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that if you don’t like Rakepick you can’t follow me. If you don’t like her, but still find something on my blog you enjoy… I’m kind of surprised, to be honest, but that’s also great. Otherwise, I just don’t see why you shouldn’t remove me from your Tumblr experience. Seriously, I never had the desire to be popular in this fandom or even liked. I’m not saying that I actively want to be disliked, but I’m here just to put my ideas into the world (and because it’s easier to control than Reddit). If someone likes them – fantastic! If not, I don’t need you to see them. I don’t want you to see them if they annoy you.

Also, I apparently insult people who don’t like Rakepick. Now, I never called anyone “stupid” simply because they don’t like her. I never will because that’s not what I think. In fact, I don’t recall ever calling anyone that word in specific, but maybe I’m forgetting something. Either way, the only times when I spoke negatively about people being against Rakepick referred always to situations where they comment on my long-ass analysis and/or theories, totally ignoring what I discussed in the said posts. For example, people talking about Umbridge having a Patronus under my analysis of Rakepick’s symbolism. Situations like that take place because of two possible reasons:

People comment on my posts WITHOUT even reading them. If that’s the case... it’s actually plain stupid. Seriously, I’m not even sorry, it just is. Also, don’t do it, please. Like, EVER. No matter if it’s my post, someone else’s post, if it’s about HPHM, other game, book, movie, politics, science… Just don’t comment on something you didn’t actually read. Even if you think you’re familiar with the topic, if there’s a longer text, there may be some information you didn’t know. If you didn’t put time and effort into familiarizing with something someone else has to say, it’s pretty rude to expect that they’ll waste their time on reading your comment and possibly explaining to you something they already explained.

People did read my post but TOTALLY missed the point. In that case, I’m a bit sorry, but… I also can’t think of you too highly... Again, I’m talking about very specific situations! Like, I’m aware that perhaps I’m not always super clear about everything, but if you talk about Umbridge to debunk my theory after I explained in 800+ words (with quotations to the outside sources) why it’s important that Rakepick’s Patronus is a lioness… Either you have serious problems with reading comprehension or you just weren’t paying attention at all. If it’s the latter, you kind of wasted your time, and now you’re wasting mine.

Now, I don’t want to say that I’m always right in my theories about Rakepick, but here’s another thing: until this day, no one was able to really debunk them. Like, with proper argumentation. I never had anyone come to me and say: “All right, but you’re forgetting about [this and that] which suggests [this and that], and that contradicts your assumption”. Nobody ever said: “The way I understand [this and that] is different. I think it means [this and that] which proves [this and that]”. All people have is: “Rakepick is evil because she tortured Merula and killed Rowan”. But if you come to me with those arguments, I’ll show you other essays I wrote to prove that it’s just not true. Such things happen in the stories, y’know, especially the ones intended to be mysteries stories. And surprisingly, nobody could properly debunk those essays either! But you know what? I’d love to have a discussion like that. I’d love someone to finally explain to me how this story can work WITH Rakepick being evil and WITHOUT leaving dozens of serious plot holes. Believe me, I really tried to make it work, and I failed each time. Things simply… don’t add up. And my main point is that they CAN add up! And I did it: I joined many dots from the very beginning of the game in this analysis: Why Rakepick didn’t appear before Y4? HPHM explained. So, if I’m showing you that 2 + 2 is 4, why you insist that it’s 5 when your only argument is that Jam City is bad at maths?

And if we got to Jam City’s bad writing already… If you think that Rakepick is gonna be truly evil because the writers just don’t know what they’re doing anymore – that’s fine. I mean, I don’t exactly agree with that. I believe that they’ll follow the original plans for the story, they’ll just do a shitty job at explaining things, but that’s a topic for a separate conversation. Still, I’d like you to understand that there’s a difference between saying:

“You’re wrong. 2 + 2 is 5 because JC is bad at maths.”

and

“I see what you’re saying, and you’re right that according to that 2 + 2 is 4, but I think JC is gonna say it’s 5 because they’re bad at maths.”

Do you see it? 

Now, I don’t want to complain here, but... I write long analyses on HPHM for my own pleasure, and it is satisfying for me. However, it doesn’t change the fact that it takes some time and work, so when people actively dismiss it, it feels a bit rude. And if you actually think I’m wrong in saying that 2 + 2 is 4, then explain to me why you think so. Or if you have doubts about my reasoning, send me an ask. I think it happened just once that I got a question like: “Hey, I don’t get one thing about your theory. Could you explain it?”. I’m not talking here about discussions I have with people in reblogs or comments, though those are also brilliant, and I appreciate them. Sometimes people ask about their ideas inspired by my theories. Either way, I have to say – it’s a great feeling to get responses like that. Because it shows that people not only read my posts but that they make them think. And as I said, I might not always explain everything the most clearly despite my efforts. But then just ask me.

That’s pretty much all I wanted to say, I guess. So yeah. If you actually can explain to me why you don’t agree with my views on Rakepick, my inbox is open. It can take me a while to respond because there’s kind of a revolution in my country right now, and y’know, the world is basically burning in general, so my mind might be elsewhere. But I’ll get to it eventually.

[saiilorstars]

Better With You (One shot)

// Seren’s Masterlist //

Fandom: MCU

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC

Chapter Summary: With no Valentine, Seren agrees to go on a date with an old friend, unknowingly setting herself up for disaster. When Steve answers hers call for help, he does everything he can to lift her spirits that evening. Being alone in the compound might help them finally be honest with each other.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother​ @anotherunreadblog​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​ @stareyedplanet​ @perfectlystiles​

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message!]

It started out as a game. It wasn't a game he wanted to play; it wasn't even a game he incited. No, that was what his "friends" were for.

Steve really considered for a good day or so about changing friends because the ones he had turned out to be very mean. To him.

"Oh c'mon," Natasha trailed after him one morning, "Valentine's Day is this Friday. You still have a couple days to get something together for Seren."

It was simply too early to deal with this. Steve headed for the kitchen for something to drink all while Natasha continued to make her point.

"A simple dinner would do it. Hell, a homemade dinner would be just as fine. We all know you like Seren, so just go and ask her out." Natasha leaned on the kitchen aisle, sending him a very wide smirk.

"Okay, that's not fair. Everybody likes Seren." Steve was fairly sure that there wasn't a single person who didn't like Seren Soul. She was an absolute sweetheart. Who could hate her?

Seren was always kind, a natural leader for the newest recruits. She took people under her wing, cared for and helped them. Plus, she was a bit of a sneak. Given her small statue and her big shiny eyes, it was always funny how people underestimated her only to get their asses handed to them. Steve himself had made that mistake a couple times and ended up on the ground, defeated while Seren smirked proudly. There was just something about her that drew people in, made them like her, love her.

He was guilty of the latter.

Natasha knew it, which was why she easily retorted: "Yeah, but nobody likes her more than you."

"Natasha."

"Sorry," she raised a hand then added, "Loves." Steve deadpanned her and her smug smile. "A date. A Valentine's date. Wouldn't that be nice?"

Of course but...me and Seren? That would never happen." And Steve deeply lamented it. Seren was way out of his league, a line that followed him through the decades it seemed.

"Who says?" challenged Natasha, half amused and the other half kind of irritated this was the reason those two idiots weren't together already. "You?" she presumed. "You know it's kind of last century to make the choice for you and the woman."

Steve rolled his eyes. "I'm not making any choice for Seren, I'm just reading the room."

"Well you're reading it all wrong!"

"I am not!"

Sam walked in on them before they could go further. "What's going on?" He asked slowly, now thinking twice about that glass he came in for.

"Nothing," Steve answered at the same time Natasha said "I want to get him a date!" Needless to say, the death glare Steve sent her way was well expected.

Sam, however, relaxed once he got the jist of the situation. "With Seren?" Natasha smirked smugly while Steve groaned. "Go for it," Sam snapped his fingers. "She'd say yes in a heartbeat."

"I am not!"

"Steve's in denial," Natasha said, rolling her eyes.

"That's rich," scoffed Sam. He came up to the aisle, planting an arm down. "You gave me the stink eye when I happened to flirt with Seren. It was all playful too and I still got the hint you were thinking of throwing me off the rooftop without the wings."

Natasha snorted into a laugh.

Steve did his best to stay stoic. He hadn't meant to make his disdain that obvious but when Seren had laughed at Sam, things turned red. Fast.

"Just ask her out this Friday. It's Valentine's day," Sam shrugged. "Flowers wouldn't hurt. She looks the type to go ga-ga over them."

"She is," Natasha was quick to confirm.

"As productive as this conversation has been, I'm going to go now," Steve announced. He couldn't bear the conversation and the tease anymore.

But it wasn't like simply leaving the room would afford him the peace he desperately wanted. As Friday approached, the suggestions and teases only got worse. He had to be extra careful not to let Seren hear anything. He was able to seclude her from the others whenever they happened to be together.

"Hey there, soldier," she surprised him on Wednesday when he walked into the kitchen for a quick breakfast. She was dressed in pajamas, her pixie ginger hair somehow messy, sitting on the aisle with a bowl of something that smelled pretty good.

"What are you doing?" He asked her in bemusement. "And what are you eating?"

She waved her spoon in the air with a joyful smile. "Wanda decided to make me a Sokovian breakfast. Isn't that nice of her?"

Steve smiled. "She's being thankful, Seren. You've helped her so much in these past months."

Seren shrugged her shoulders. "Just trying to be helpful," she said.

"You always are." Steve walked over to her, peering down to the bowl on her lap.

"Want some? It's pretty good!"

"I'll let you have your gift, thanks."

"So, do you have your plans for the weekend?" She seemed to ask casually though there was a little twinkle in her green eyes when he turned for the fridge.

"Not really, probably just stay in. You?"

"Don't know yet," she shrugged. "I know for a fact that everyone else has plans. Tony's going out with Pepper, obviously." They both paused to smile at each other. "Sam and Natasha are bar hopping."

"Bar what?" Steve paused again, if only to process the odd name.

Seren giggled. "Ask Sam later. Even Wanda and Vision are doing something. They're close, those two. So, it seems like you and I are the last ones."

"...we are..." Steve wondered of this coincidence was, in fact, a master plan of Natasha's but even she wasn't that good to set up something like this.

"Soo...you really don't have anything to do Friday?" Seren suddenly found her breakfast incredibly interesting. She wanted to control her heartbeat and keep it from reaching Steve's ears. At least try to be subtle!

"...no," Steve answered a minute later. He could've been a little brave and asked her to do something with him but the fear of her rejection or worse, her taking it as a platonic night, got the best of him.

He completely missed the disappointment marking her face.

"Oh," she swallowed hard. Don't you dare get upset. Of course he wouldn't ask you to do anything with him. She always did this to herself. She got hopeful that maybe things between her and Steve could go further than friendship. He was just too sweet to tell her 'no' to her face.

She just had to face the music. There was no way in hell Steve Rogers would ever look at her twice. She was too weird for his taste. After all, not many people could get over her unique origins. It was one thing to he friends with an alien, and a completely different thing to date one.

~0~

I have a date.

Four words. All it took were four words to puncture his heart so deeply. Steve didn't even know that was possible.

Seren had gotten a date. He shouldn't even be surprised. She was gorgeous beyond belief. It would take just one of her dimple smiles to get any man to ask her out, a man with courage anyways.

"It wasn't me!" Natasha was quick to say later on that day. She strode into the training room, intending on clarifying things before he made any assumptions. "If it was up to me, I would have set you up with her but you told me no."

Steve had found solace in a punching bag. Tale as old as time. "I know!" He grunted with one punch, then another. "Who's the guy?"

Natasha set her hands on her hips. "I don't know, some ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. The ironic part is, years ago he asked her out and she said no. Wonder why he would try again..."

Steve could care less. All he knew was that Seren was going out on a date on Valentine's day. That was enough to sour his mood for the rest of the day into Friday.

Seren didn't seem to notice. She was focused on looking her best for the evening, covering up any of her hesitance to go out.

"I am confused," she heard Wanda's remark. She turned to see the young girl at her bedroom doorway, head tilted with eyes sparkling red. "Why do you say 'yes' to an agent you rejected when you would rather him be Steve?"

Seren sighed heavily. "Can you please get out of my head?"

"I tried," Wanda raised her hands in front of her. "But you're so loud tonight."

"Shouldn't you be out with Vision already?"

"In a bit," Wanda nodded. "Why don't you just tell him the truth? I read his mind too sometimes—"

"Stop!" Seren exclaimed. "I don't want to hear anything from his head. Violation of privacy! You only get away with it because you're young. And he likes you."

Wanda smiled. "But nowhere near as much as he likes you. Think about that when you go out tonight."

Seren would rather not because it just made her hopeful again.

~0~

The last thing Steve expected that evening was to get a call from Seren during what was supposed to be her date.

What was more is that she sounded lile she was crying.

"I'm so sorry, I tried calling somebody else but nobody picked up," she explained rapidly, her words almost sounded meshed.

"It's fine but what's going on? Are you hurt?" He asked her, anxiously waiting for her response.

"Sort of, yeah," she sniffed. "The guy, he never showed up. The place is crowded and I tripped and I think my ankle got sprained. I'll heal in a couple of hours but I can't walk that well and the cabs are—"

"Seren, breathe," he had to cut her off or else she really would run out of air. "I'll be there quick, I promise." As soon as he had the place, he left the compound.

Rage coursed through his body at the idea that this man had left Seren in a restaurant as a trick. Who the hell did that? Who would do that to Seren of all people!?

He had to calm down even more when he found her leaning against the wall with her bad ankle. She had incredible healing but it still took time. She needed to put the ankle to rest!

Seren was overtly grateful that he'd come for her. She still apologized profusely for interrupting his night.

"I wasn't doing anything," Steve helped her from the wall.

"I should've just stayed at home," she sniffed. "I would've avoided the humiliation. He didn't show up as revenge."

"What?" Steve must have heard her wrong. There was no way someone would—

"I got his text. I turned him down, he turns me down...on Valentine's day." Seren leaned on him when he pulled her into a hobble of a walk. "Crazy world."

"Seren, I'm so sorry." Steve had to control his voice, make sure the strain of it wasn't so obvious because all he wanted to do right now was find the damn guy and, well, kill him.

"I think you're my favorite person right now—no, I'm sure of it. Can we please go home?"

"Of course." Steve wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her walk. On the way home, she explained the story of how exactly things happened and what led her to her sprained ankle. The more Steve heard, the more inclined he was to change course from home to wherever the hell this guy lived. The only thing keeping him from doing it was Seren. She was feeling terrible after such a night and the only thing she wanted now was to go home.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your night," she apologized yet again when they were in the compound. Steve helped her make her way to the couch.

"It's fine, I already told you that I wasn't doing anything anyways." He slipped a cushion under her ankle, ignoring (or at least trying) the heat in his cheeks when he touched her bare ankle. Despite spending a good amount of time outside in the chilly air, her skin was warm.

"You really didn't have anything planned?" Seren stared at him oddly.

He was surprised to see her calculating him. "You think I was lying?" he asked in surprise.

"Well not 'lying' but, I don't know, I thought maybe you just didn't want to say anything." Seren had gone about it at least a dozen times since she asked him about his plans yesterday. Maybe he was just trying to be polite and keep some of his life a secret from her. He was completely allowed to...

Steve smiled at her. "Seren, you should know by now my night life isn't all that, uh, active."

"I don't know, someone like you? Hard to believe, that's all."

"What?" Steve laughed.

Seren flushed and decided to look at her lap and keep quiet before she said something else. The night was already terrible, there was no point in making it worse by saying something that would out her.

Steve misinterpreted her silence for what he was sure had to be one of the worst experiences in her life. He hated seeing her like that. She looked incredible in her white dress and bright red coat. He could smell her sweet perfume too. He would've loved to have been the one to take her out.

"Seren?" He gently called her name.

Her eyes picked up from her lap. "Hmm? Sorry, I'm not very good company right now. You should just go do something else."

"The only thing I'm going to do is go into the kitchen and bring you some ice." Steve pointed her to stay in her spot, earning a small chuckle because, really, how would she go anywhere right now? He left her for a moment to retrieve the ice. He went through the drawers to look for a rag to wrap around the ice when he came across a few things that he thought might help raise Seren's spirits. After all, it was just them for the night. It definitely wasn't a date but he could pretend that it was something similar to it.

Seren had taken her coat off when he returned and, to his surprise, her legs were no longer on the couch.

"You got up," he accused her and had all the evidence in front of him to make the case.

She smiled innocently at him. "I just wanted you to sit with me." She'd gotten a stool in front of her and placed the cushion over it to then rest her ankle.

Well, she was making things easier for him that was for sure. Steve gave her a look for the little stunt but still handed her the ice pack. A second later she heard the microwave ding.

"Are you making something?" she asked. She sniffed the air a couple times before she realized what it was. "Popcorn!"

"I just thought you'd like to watch a movie or something..." Steve weakly explained. The idea was suddenly worse than he remembered it earlier. "If you don't want to—"

"I want to!" Seren was quick to say. She felt her cheeks blush when she thought that maybe she'd answered too fast. She endeavored to calm herself so Steve wouldn't notice. "I mean...that'll be nice."

"Great, I'll go get the popcorn!" Steve made a quick trip back to the kitchen. He had to stop himself getting so excited before he had to go back. It wasn't a date, it wasn't anything!

But it was also Valentine's day and it was just them. He couldn't help but just dream a little.

~ 0 ~

Seren convinced him that a movie called Groundhog Day would be good to watch. It came out in the early 90s so he missed out by a long shot. They sat together on the couch and in no time Seren had snuggled up to Steve. It was hard remembering how to breathe when she was practically on him. Only her sprained ankle kept her slightly away.

"What did you guys used to do for Valentine's back then?" She suddenly asked midway through the movie. Steve didn't hear her at first—he'd been trying to focus just on the movie and not the soft rhythm of her heartbeat against him. She tilted her head up to him, lips pulled into a soft smile for him. "I'm curious."

"When aren't you?" he countered, earning a chuckle from her. "You know I didn't do much for the day. I always helped Bucky pull some stunt for whatever girl he had around those days. But it was pretty much like what everyone does today. Dinner. Flowers. The cards. Those big bears seem to be just as expensive as they were back then."

Seren laughed. "They're ridiculous. Some of them are bigger than me."

"To be fair, many things are bigger than you," Steve quipped, smirking at her when she gasped incredulously.

"I expect that type of comment from Tony, not you!" She huffed and looked away, crossing her arms to complete the look.

"I'm sorry." He tried pulling her back to him but she swatted his hands away from her. He caught one of her wrists and realized her skin had gone cold. "You want a blanket?"

"What?" She blinked. They were in the middle of what promised to be a good banter.

"I'll go get one," Steve decided and got up before she could say anything.

She smiled after him. He was always so thoughtful. Stop! You can't get carried away!

"Ah, still troubled," she heard Wanda say, startling the hell out of her in the process. By the time Vision went through the couch, Seren was over the shock.

"You two are supposed to be gone for longer!"

"I thought it was too cold for Wanda," Vision said, motioning to the dress Wanda was in.

The ginger moved around the couch, revealing a plastic box full of heart-shaped cookies. "You should definitely let yourself get carried away."

Seren's face was flat. "Stop reading my mind!"

Wanda smiled and merely deposited the box of cookies on Seren's lap. "We'll get out of your hair. Come on, Vis."

"What is this movie?" Vision cocked his head at the screen.

"We can watch it another day," Wanda dragged him by the arm. "Hi Steve," she greeted the man on the way into the hallway.

"Wanda? Aren't you—"

"Don't worry, we won't disturb you!" Wanda winked at him, leaving him quite red.

Stop reading my mind! He shouted inside, hoping that Wanda heard him loud and clear. He returned to the living room and saw Seren chowing down on a heart-shaped cookie. She stopped when she saw him, her crumb-filled lips smiling at him. "Let me guess, Wanda and Vision?"

"Mhm!" Seren nodded, swallowing down before she spoke. "They're sugar cookies with the red sprinkles! They're so good!"

Steve laughed. "Right. Here." He draped the blanket over her lap.

"Take a cookie!" She offered him the box when he sat down. "I always remember having these when I was a kid."

"Really?" Steve mused. "Were they your favorite?" Something to jot down for the next year.

"Here!" Seren offered him a bite out of her own cookie.

Steve raised an eyebrow at her. It wasn't often they shared food and even then it was always simple things like candy in a bag or something he could just easily pick from. Still, Seren didn't seem to be thinking much of it so why should he? He leaned closer and took a bite like she offered. His eyes never left hers which helped her get away with her blush.

"How is it?" she asked quietly. Breathing became hard again. Even her eyes started flickering down to his lips. They had to be even sweeter now with the sugar from the cookie. Just one little movement and she could press a little kiss on him.

"Really good," he answered after swallowing. "I can see why they're your favorite."

"Mhm." She bit her bottom lip and turned her attention to the ongoing movie. She couldn't trust herself right now. "Let's, uh, watch the movie..."

"Sure," he nodded and made himself comfortable again.

Within the half hour, the cookies had finished and the box was discarded to the floor. Seren had found her spot with him, head resting on is chest with her arm splayed over his stomach. Steve felt the exact moment when she fell asleep. Her breathing changed and her weight resting on him increased. She was completely comfortable with him and that had his heart swelling. She didn't do this with anybody else, he knew for sure. It was hard not to be a little hopeful when things like this happened.

He couldn't bring himself to disturb her sleep to take her into her room. It wasn't hard to admit to himself that he wanted to keep her with him either. The movie had finished but he switched channels. What was he watching? He had no idea. He didn't care. He moved an arm over Seren's body and pulled the blanket higher over her shoulder. Her dress was beautiful but she deserved to be warm too. He even dropped a kiss to her bright ginger hair. Who would know?

It was only when she started shifting later on that he decided it was time to call it a night. As much as he wanted to keep her with him, she was getting to the point where she needed her bed instead. He began untangling his arm from her and her body from him but she groaned at him.

"Don't move," she murmured.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "You need to rest," he said, presuming she was way more asleep than awake.

"I am." She brought her arm from his stomach to his shoulder.

"I think your bed would be more comfortable," he chuckled.

"You don't have a clue of what I want," she retorted with a slight edge in her tone. He paused. Now that sounded more awake. "How could you be this smart and yet so clueless?"

Definitely more awake. Steve pulled her arm from his shoulder, gently forcing her to sit more up at least to look at her. "Seren, are you alright?"

"I was," she shrugged. "And then I had a quick dream." She yawned and pulled the blanket tighter around her. "You were there..."

"I was?"

"Mhm. My date tonight was you. I wasn't stood up because you would never do that to me. And then you bought me a heart-shaped cinnamon roll. We shared it."

"W-we did?" Steve stuttered, flush blooming over his face. His heart was starting to race under his chest. "Uh, well, that..."

Seren chewed on her bottom lip. She was completely awake now and with lucidness came the fear of what she'd done. Her dream had been so sweet, so much better than reality. Everything would be better if she was with him. She would want nothing more than to have it be her reality. "I know what I said," she whispered, "I know it's weird—I'm weird being, you know, not human and all. You don't like me that way, I know."

"Wait a second," Steve pointed at her, eyes wide yet there was a little more hope coming to him. "You don't know what I want either."

"Huh?"

"You're pretty smart too, Seren. Connect the dots, won't you?" He encouraged her with a smile to just think. It was suddenly so easy and he couldn't stop the excitement that was crawling over him—he wouldn't stop it this time!

"You would...actually want...?" Seren shook her head. Unlike him, it being this easy was too hard to believe. "No, you don't have to play along."

"I will never play you, Seren. Do you know how much I get from everyone else for not telling you the truth?"

"If this is real then I'm pretty sure no more than me," she admitted. "Wanda won't stop reading my thoughts."

"And Natasha won't leave me alone!"

Seren brought her hand to her cheek. "So...you...we've been going insane for no reason?"

Steve nodded his head. "It would seem so." Maybe he owed Natasha an apology here and there.

Seren couldn't believe her ears. "Maybe this Valentine's day wasn't all that terrible then..."

Steve chuckled. "Maybe not," he agreed. He leaned down pretty quick but he caught himself and stopped, startling her with the actions. "Can I—can I kiss you?"

Seren's heart fluttered. Her lips pulled into a soft smile. "Yeah." Steve leaned closer again but was surprised when Seren placed a finger against his lips. He blinked in surprise, and a slight fear that things were wrong. "Happy Valentine's day," she whispered, pulling her finger off his lips.

"Happy Valentine's day," he murmured in return, finally kissing her afterwards.

[leothelionsaysgrrrr]

🌹🍁🌿🌾🌺 for Silver and Rexus.

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

The answer is actually the same for both of them, though it takes some time before the reason is the same: The Ivory Oasis, the upscale pleasure house where Silver works. It’s a brothel, yes, but the whole point of the place is to be ridiculously comfortable. It’s lavishly furnished and impeccably maintained, and boasts a luxurious bathhouse, a natural hot spring, a beautiful courtyard with a pool, any and everything anyone could ever want to relax. The culture there is all about looking out for and taking care of each other - it’s meant to be an oasis for the workers as well as the clients. Alba, the madam, has a bit of a soft spot for taking in strays and giving them work and a free place to live and free food and access to all the nice things about the place, and both Silver and Rexus have been those strays at one point or another.

(Under the cut because I have feelings about this)

Silver - then known by his real name, Adrian - came to Minrathous from his hometown in eastern Tevinter (near Carastes) when he was 18. His father cast him and his mother out after his linea sanguinis - a coming-of-age thing for Tevinter nobles that involves what’s basically a blood magic paternity test, and is QUITE embarrassing if you were unaware that your kid is not really your kid - and rather than stay with his mother he chose to go to Minrathous on his own. None of his plans for what to do when he got there panned out, so he ended up on the streets for some time until one of the Oasis’s courtesans, Aularia, brought him there and convinced Alba to take him in.

Rexus, meanwhile, born and raised in Minrathous, was the legitimate son of noble parents, but to his father’s great dismay never manifested magic. He first came to the Oasis as a client, though he knew and had been assisted by Alba before during his own post-disowning time on the streets. Though he befriended Silver shortly after the latter became a courtesan and became an almost controversially frequent tesseratus (a client personally invited by a courtesan by gifting them special coins unique to that courtesan called tesserae that could be exchanged for their services) Rexus didn’t come to live there until 9:38, when Silver found him drunk and in despair in the Free Marches and brought him back to help with his work smuggling escaped slaves out of the Imperium and make amends for the life he’d lived before.

Silver considers Alba a highly respected and beloved mother figure, but he and Rexus are kind of each other’s person that always feels like home? There are a lot of reasons and most of the time no one really understands what exactly their relationship even is, but it comes down to a lack of pressure to be anything but themselves and just being incredibly comfortable with each other. Even if all they do is to have some drinks and talk shit with each other, it’s like kicking off your shoes at the end of the day and settling down into a cozy chair with your legs flung over the sides. They’re happy, they’re safe, they’re wanted. That’s home to them.

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Silver takes a bath.  His bedchamber is probably more private than the bathhouse, but for Silver, ‘time to himself’ isn’t the same as ‘time alone’.  He likes time to himself.  Time to himself is sitting in a hot, lightly scented bath with a glass of wine, where he can see out into the courtyard, observing people but not necessarily interacting.  Or, it’s his morning exercises in the courtyard - again, among people, but doing his own thing and not interacting.  Time alone is being in his bedchamber with all the doors and windows shut, unable to see or hear people, just him and his thoughts.  He does not like time alone.  Aside from his bedchamber he doesn’t really claim an area of the Oasis as ‘his’, though he easily could.  He could ask to rearrange the entire place to suit his fancy and Alba would see it done, but he’d never make such an imposition.  He prefers existing among everyone else there as opposed to making them exist around him.

Rexus SEEMS like he would take the same approach and want to be around people (read: bothering them) instead of spend time alone, having been alone most of his life, but where Silver genuinely likes People in a broader sense, Rexus really doesn’t. He likes attention. Which explains why he likes Silver so much; Silver is probably the most ridiculously attentive person in existence, and he’s a frequent go-to for wind-down time. Otherwise, his time to himself changes a bit pre- and post-exile; before, ‘needing time to himself’ meant finding someone to take to bed and otherwise ignore, watching the harbor from his balcony, and drinking, a lot. After, a combination of needing to lie low and actually wanting to do and be better mean he’s a lot more comfortable with himself, by himself. He’ll still sit in a crowded tavern or find a place to chill for a while that overlooks the harbor and watch people to pass time, but he won’t feel as much of a need to interact. He’ll be more comfortable with introspection, as well, and will be able to just lay in his bed in his room at the Oasis, stare at the ceiling, and contemplate.

🌿 What way does your OC show that they care without using words? What way do others show your OC that they’re cared about without using speech?

(I’m only answering this one for Silver because someone else asked it about Rexus and you have to share :P)

Like I said in the previous answer, Silver is a consummate caregiver and therefore ridiculously attentive. He’s always on the lookout for things he can do, needs he can meet. He’ll bring things like drinks, snacks, blankets, etc. without being asked. He listens intently when people talk, remembers, and either makes sure to have things they said they liked next time he sees them, or will bring up things they said later. He LOVES drawing baths for people - every patron at the Oasis has to bathe before...activities...and Silver loves working out what is best for each individual person in terms of temperature, herbs and oils to add to the water, just figuring out how to best help them relax.

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them.

Silver:

“He’s such a terribly silly man.  My love would have you believe it has taken knowing me, of all people, for him to care as he does, to give as he does, to risk as he does, but you mustn’t believe him.  No matter all his pretty words, I’m not so special to make him the man he is.  One does not...just become that.  I don’t pretend to know him before he came here, but...I think he was always like this.  Silver loves with all of him as naturally as he breathes, and that, he did not learn from me.  I think he has always felt keenly how others need what he can give, and he has always had the strength and the will to give it.  All I have done is believe him that he could.”

- Aularia, his late lover who he credits with the inspiration to begin his secret humanitarian work as his masked alter ego, Sen.

“👉 👌” 

- Rexus.  It’s his way of saying he can’t put into words how much Silver’s kindness and enduring faith in him has meant to him, how inspiring and uplifting he is, what beautiful hair he has, and how very lucky he is that this man has chosen to, despite shit like this, love him so very much.

Rexus:

Rexus is a jewel in the armoire of my soul.  He smells always of the sweetest, purest honey, and I should dearly love to bathe him in a basin of warm milk, sprinkled with lavender and vanilla, that he might leave such sweetness behind.  I titter thinking of how the soft whiskers of his beard tickle at my nose, my lips, my...ears.  Such songs I could sing of his unparalleled grace and beauty, but who would hear them?  They would die. Of longing. Immediately.  I am surprised I have not died of longing for him already myself.  Oh, but such sweet fortune that I may look upon him in all his splendor in my bed each night, unhindered by fine cloth for which I paid much coin solely to drape just so around his pleasing curves, and marvel at the sight of his plentiful body hair, which I envy spectacularly.  

- an excerpt from, supposedly, Silver’s journal, though Silver does not keep a journal and the handwriting clearly belongs to Rexus himself.

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

Silver has to deal with this more often than he likes to admit.  Poor guy’s cursed with an imagination just about as vivid as Lux’s, but instead of making up fun stories his just torments him.  He worries a lot about a lot of people, and that he’s putting in a lot of effort that will ultimately end up meaningless.  When he needs to calm down at night, he gets up and gets a glass of water, makes tea, or goes for a swim.  Water is always soothing to him in one form or another, even if he doesn’t drink it and just like...stirs his finger in it for a while, it’ll help him feel better.  Someone’s always up and about at the Oasis, so he might seek them out to chat idly for a while; he loves the interaction and the others like feeling seen by him.  He might write a letter, usually to Emma, as he doesn’t see her anywhere near as often as he’d like, or read an old one.  Sometimes the refugees he helps send him coded messages a while later to let him know how they’re doing, and those have proved invaluable to him more than a few times to let him know he’s doing good work and really making a difference.  

Rexus gets angry when he’s afraid, because he shouldn’t be letting whatever’s affecting him affect him, and he is, of course, terrible at coping by himself.  He paces, rambles loudly, drinks, throws things, is prone to saying really mean stuff, just isn’t at all pleasant to be around when he’s afraid unless you know how to solve whatever’s bothering him or can convince him he’s being stupid.  Silver is, of course, usually good at this, as is his partner Tyranos (belongs to @lavellanlove), and surprisingly Emma was too when she was with him.  His mother, Atilia, can be this for him to a degree, but only during and before TSU when telling her his problems meant she’d pull strings to get them to go away with minimal effort from him.  Alone he just drinks until he passes out and forgets about it.  

Got any more?