#and some would say i draw vanitas far too much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neptunespaladin · 3 years

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It is about time I do this so here's my HOLY QUIZNAKING SHIT VNC VNC VNC rant ✨ [positive]. This is full of spoilers for the first episode, it might as well be like reliving the whole episode again 😂 Slight spoilers about the manga, like naming some characters that haven't been named yet. And then full spoilers while talking about the ending sequences.

Episode 1 of Vanitas no Carte? MARVELOUS.

Maybe it's because I am very excited but I love everything about it, TTwTT it did not disappoint. The animation? Smooth, beautiful, mesmerizing. Holy shit, the background music??? I AM IN LOVE.

There's so many things to say about it fr.

I love the way the introduction was drawn in linear wobbly drawings, it's beautiful, it's perfect, it conveys that feeling so well.

Sora to Utsoro by Sasanomaly is such a great song and the lyricss??? This song fits Noé so well, and you cannot convince me that is not adding subtext for Noé's feelings and POV. The OP is so sweet and warm and I loveeeee getting that Noé fix because I love Noé YwY 💜

I love how they start building up the world by slowly talking about it, like the Chasseurs being mentioned or the comment about astermite fueling the Ship, and ofc the more direct explanations like the vampires true name, the reality writing and the malnomens/maladies. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED AGAIN ON THE MUSIC AND ANIMATION, the way when Vanitas is explaining malnomens and the visuals have this sort of static going on? and the changes in music??? MAJESTIC.

Ofc it's amazing, the anime so far is sticking to the manga completely, and it was amazing watching some of those scenes and see how they played around with the cinematics. Like the chibis and soft pastels when it's comedic, the fighting scene was oh lala (oh my Noé moving around and the vampire eyes showing aksldjskdk), and oh gawd the change in chromatic visuals to reds and black when the malnomen finally showed up??? the black tears and black goo??? the e y e s?? 👀✨👌🏼

And then, oh kaltenecker, and then,, that scene full of blue hues where Vanitas is a complete badass and we get a bunch of super cool close shots of the book? I adoooore how they animated the book working and rewriting reality, the sort of lightning buzzing blue. I was really curious as to how they would bring this to life and I am not disappointed ✨✨ S/O to Dante! Who still hasn't gotten an official presentation but seeing him is still amazing.

AND OH KALTENECKER, the following scene? How Noé is stunned by Vanitas, and immediately jumps to fall with him? And then we see Paris from his eyes? That shit almost made me cry, and the music I- I need this whole soundtrack 😭💜✨

And then we get hit with Noé being an absolute cutiepie, being amazed once again; and Vanitas doing a pompous presentation and offer to be straight up declined by Noé 😂😂 and the colors are kinda dark and cold but they have light! And then we hear the narration start, church's bells ringing and the light is abruptly diminished.

"And together wandered life's pain"

flashes Jeanne and Lucas

"How much we gained"

flashes Dominique

"And how much we lost"

flashes Louis?? that was a low blow ngl y^y

flashes Roland kneeling before an altar ;-;

"And then"

flashes Loki Oriflamme

"At the end of our journey"

flashes Vanitas, and Vanitas w/blood

"I would slay him by my own hand".

fuck. fuckity fuck. i had forgotten we get hit with that gem on the first chapter.

Ok. Full spoilers now.

Let's stop there for a second. Cuz watching that animated took the breath out of me and made me realize some stuff too.

The together wanderer life's pain has Jeanne and Luca, whom we know then become part of the Vanitas' Squad and they go through stuff. We then see how they speak about how Noé got/gained Domi in his life and its the friendship he cherishes most; but by being in the Sade's life he also lost Louis in the process Q^Q (he won his bestest friend, but he also lost his bestest friend). And Roland?? That reference as to how much Roland will have to lose? Because as a chasseur his eyes have been opened by Noé and Vanitas to the reality of vampires and humans, and he now has no place among the Chasseurs as he doesn't align with their beliefs anymore even though being a Chasseur was his whole life.

And this one is interesting,

"and then at the end of our journey I slayed him with my own hands"...

ok... then WHY, WHY do we get a flash of Loki Oriflamme???

Well, I present you this theory.

Ok, now that you've read that. This is what I think could be the reason:

Loki is Monsieur Spider. We know Loki is Lord Ruthven's son, and that he is cursed... and "doesn't wants to be saved" according to his dad... We also know that Monsieur Spider is working with Charlatan, and he was working with Moreau too. We also see mentioned that Moreau was able to reconstruct his lab and continue his experiments (same experiments that resulted in Vanitas being Vanitas) with the help of "someone". We also know that Lord Ruthven is working with Charlatan and has influence and power enough to make that happen. That "someone" was Ruthven, and though as of now we still quite don't get the full extent of his intentions and plans, we KNOW it's him pulling the strings from behind the scenes. Lord Ruthven also tried getting Noé on his side and when failed, ended up forcing a curse onto Noé, so technically speaking Noé could slay Vanitas with his own hand by Ruthven's command. Basing it on how Vanitas has been acting through around Mémoires 50ish, I assume he is acting under a curse too (Blue Moon telling him no one could take his memories) and that avoiding it must be impossible/near impossible. So where does Loki fit? Why flash Loki? My guess is that Loki will be the catalytic towards Vanitas 'death' whatever that means, Ruthven will set this up and it will include Noé as the culmination of the plan, maybe Noé is trying to rescue Vanitas from whatever Loki causes and on that last decisive moment... Lord Ruthven's order will prevent Noé from grabbing Vanitas' hand 👁️💧👄💧👁️

n e ways,,,,

[0(Zero)] by LMYK is such an amazing song too. And once again, the lyrics oml. This ending sets the contrast between Vanitas and Noé, we can see this from the images quite literally. And if I had to guess this is probably closer to Vanitas pov? idk. The lyrics hit right to the heart, specially when paired with the ED sequence. It speaks of how they complement each other, they are oftenly parallels, like water and oil, red and blue, and yet both have that which the other needs or lack. Noé believes in Vanitas vision and tries to understand him, and Vanitas teaches him how mercy sometimes is a way of salvation too. And that's amazing and touching and all that though we know Vanitas is an emotionally constipated hardhead, but the ANGST. it's palpable

We know how Vanitas thinks of himself, and we know hoe Noé thinks of Vanitas. "Was it you who I've been searching for? Spent my life alone and waiting for, so tenderly and endlessly you make me whole, you make me whole.

The first part we get with a scene of Vanitas, alone, writhing, looking hopeless. This is how Vanitas feels about himself. He hates himself he is wrapped in his own conception of being a monster incapable of feeling and receiving love or empathy. He does good and claims it's vengeance, he saves people and vampires yet still conceives himself not being worthy of being saved or cared for.

And the second part is what Noé is to this perception Vanitas has of himself. We know how Noé over and over again is amazed by Vanitas, and he is amazed because he thinks of Vanitas as that good he has been searching for, someone who cares and saves both humans and vampires; and he sees Vanitas sacrifices and efforts, and he doesn't buys that bs Vanitas spills about not being worthy, or about being a pos. And he tells Vanitas this many times! And we get this paired with an image of Noé reaching out to Vanitas. how fucking POETIC. But hey, that's not all! Because we see that Vanitas is completely still, only Noé moves; I've seen someone saying this is because its more a memory and thus more about how Noé recreates it and still wants to reach Vanitas? I too think it's about their dynamic, about how Vanitas has given up on himself and yet Noé believes in him and reaches out.

And yeah, ofc, it's the fact that this scene mimics the scene we get in the manga's 11th mémoire with the "The regrets of that day, I couldn't grab your hand" of Noé not being able to reach Vanitas's hand in time as mentioned above QwQ

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

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@ava-sr said: EE i do apologize that this is late, but maybe a small request because of my moblit-brainrot. which dates he would like to take you on? maybe like one of those guided painting classes? aGh all i know is that man is the absolute sweetest and i love him with all my heart

Types of dates with Moblit pt.1

{ Moblit x reader | tw:none | fluff | modern }

{ "Vanitas Still Life" 1662 by Edwaert Collier c. 1640 - after 1707 London or Leiden }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday.

I. Cuddling for hours at a time

you have to understand that in Moblit's overworked and stressful life, moments of respite are rare and far. He's so deprived of touch and love that it's a miracle how he has managed to function without even a beep. The thought of having someone to warm his bed, cradle his worries and put them to rest by simply combing through his hair, never crossed his mind despite having a hundred thoughts running through it per minute.

Some days he manages to forget your existence even, not out of some selfish desire or to belittle you, but out of disbelief, after all it's too good to be true.

You're too good to be true to him.

Your tender words pull him back each time he blindly steps closer to the edge, a never-ending spiral of self-destructive work tendencies awaiting him at the bottomless abyss. Your warm embrace shutting out the swarm of nagging voices meant to guilt him out of rest, to act as if the key to curing his sleep deprivation was to not acknowledge its existence, that fatigue symptoms could be erased by his own homemade placebo remedies.

As if your mere touch could turn anything to gold, and in his case, it did.

It was what made the difference between an anxiety inducing catastrophic day, and a mere rough stepping stone he could easily manoeuvre around leaving his pace steady and undisturbed.

Reminding that it's okay to fail, to give something your best only for it to crumble to dust. It's a process of trial and error, it takes time and patience.

You don't get to choose how well things end up working out, it's not up to you nor is it your place.

And that's why for him, his ideal place in the world is in your arms, to simply let the rise and fall of your chest lull him into comfortable numbness. His features softening as the oxytocin levels rise, courtesy of your warm embrace, soft skin providing just the right pressure against his own.

Laying on your shared bed together, the soft breeze coming from the open windows moves the thin curtains. Moblit is Holding you close as one of his arms sneak around you, fingertips tracing shapes up and down your back. Face buried in your shoulder as yours rests on top of his head, stray hairs almost tickling your nose when you brush against them.

The passing of time does little to his cotton filled mind, occasionally attempting to pull you even more closer as if it's possible. Legs tangled with yours under the heavy blanket despite him hogging most of it.

Every now and then, when a certain amount of time passes, he'd look at you with half-closed eyes, a lidded look of satisfaction before murmuring in his sleepy voice.

"Do you want to get up?" And despite his sincere words and warm tone, his body makes no move to detach itself from your side.

Does he know the soothing effect of the circles he keeps drawing up your back? Or how much him talking with his lips still pressed against your neck makes you melt just a bit.

Whatever it is, Moblit seems confident in his ability to keep you snuggled against him, tucked underneath the warm blanket and fluffy pillows almost muffling your answer.

II. Visiting a music bar

Preferably something with soft yellowish lights, small enough spaces not meant for dancing but to create an intimate atmosphere akin to a music venue.

A jazz club, maybe a brewery.

Dimmed sunlight seeping through the thin curtained window, shadow traces of people smoking outside while making small talk, cushioned bar stools placed around the long bar with a mirrored wall behind it as several aged bottles and fancy glasses with signatures decorate the wooden shelves.

The quiet chatter of people blurring behind the mellow music the band is playing on the nearby stage, smooth movement with relaxed postures as if they've done this a hundred times before, and they probably have.

You're sitting in one of the booths near the window, a private spot where you're far enough for people not to notice yet close enough to still hear the music flowing.

The beat is slow, hypnotising even that the minutes blur together.

Moblit giving you a smile as he comes back with your drinks, sitting opposite of you before handing you the cold glass, ice cubes clinking against each other as you raise the frosted rim to your lips, sugary sweet filling your senses, the cooling sensation of the drink slides down your throat.

There's a hint of citrus in it.

You've learned to trust Moblit's choice in drinks after being together for so long, he just knows what's going to taste good and which kind of drink you seem to need without having to say a word.

He seems comfortable here, even referring to the bartender by his name like they've been friends for a while, and maybe they have judging by the out-of-script welcoming he gave Moblit.

One conversation starts another and both of you find it so easy to talk to each other without boundaries or second thoughts, the smiles and occasional chuckles almost never leaving your features while nursing on your drinks.

He tells you stories from his work and about his co-workers. You find yourself entranced by his seemingly abusered line of work and the amount of chuckle worthy instances a single work day can offer.

That one time Hange knocked the liquid incense oils that someone Levi brought to freshen the place, well to their luck the oils fell directly on an open flame from the nearby scented candle which resulted in the fire spreading through the liquid alcohol between the broken glass.

And despite the feeling of dread, from seeing his files catch on fire this story brings him, the sound of your chocked laughter as you almost spilled your drink over your clothes, made it all worth it for him.

III. Antique shop

There was something to be said about Moblit's yearning for especially old looking things, trinkets, crumpled maps, tea stained letters and silvered mirrors.

You can't miss the gleam in his eyes as he opens the antique store door open for you the chime of the door bells following after. The smell of burning incense lingering in the air alongside the slow ticking of an old wooden clock.

The look on his face is of pure fascination, his eyes following the trail of the objects lined on the tables, from the old oil paintings with hand carved frames to the crystals reflecting sunlight next to the colourful stones. Observing as he carefully walks behind you through the narrow spaces between the tables and shelves.

Pulling your attention whenever he finds a particular curious thing to show you as if it's an offering, it can range from music boxes with a really familiar melody that you can't quite remember or a beautifully shaped rose quartz stone that feels cool against your palm.

Whatever he brings, it often manages to intrigue you in some way. Moblit could always notice things other people would skip over otherwise, scanning the tables was like a small treasure hunt.

He'd always pick one or two leather journals, almost filled to the brim with ink scribbled pages and tea stained spots, personal diaries dating back to the 90's and if he's lucky they might edge towards the 80'. He likes to read them, live in someone else's shoes even for a split second, puzzle pieces falling in place as he figures out what kind of person the author was.

Of course sharing his discoveries with you while having lunch later, not out of pride nor to show off, but out of genuine respect to other people's lives and their dedication for leaving behind a piece of their soul.

IX. Roadtrip

It's something he plans months ahead in advance, he genuinely wants to make the best out of the few weeks off both of you got to spend together. Making sure to plan a set of destinations, preparing snacks and food, packing your essentials and renting a big enough van.

A small getaway even, to completely leave everything behind and set out on a carefully planned adventure with the one he loves most, you.

Enjoying the fresh weather, the high sun and fast wind as both of you roll down the windows, fields of green and yellow meet you alongside the road the further away you move from the city.

Although be careful; the Moblit behind the wheel is a much much more different than the one you know, he's using all what remains of his self-restraint not to speed down the highway and swirl, the thought crosses his mind every hour or so and he's visibly agitated when you're forced to drive behind a particularly slow driver.

You might even have to remind him of the speed limit occasionally just so you don't end up with a pile of speeding tickets at the end of the trip.

It's like all his usually cautious and calculating demner evaporates into mist the second he touches the steering wheel, Temptations of just flooring it while high on adrenaline still linger in the back of his mind.

Beside that, the trip is a relatively calm one as you get to bask in all the new and different places you'll get to visit. Try new food and walk through different city streets, just the experience of something out of the usual is enough to satisfy Mobilt. Not to mention the fact he gets to experience it with you and just wander around without a purpose or care as long as you're together.

He'll definitely keep in mind what sort of things you seem to like, what intrigues you and the kind of reactions you show. He even started an album filled with mostly your pictures and the things you've seen.

It's most relaxing and filled with low stakes, nothing too fancy but nothing too boring either. Walking the thin line perfectly.

X. Visiting a museum

But not just any museum you see, one centred around natural history. Displaying everything from ancient fossils to full on skeleton displays of a 122 foot titanosaur, depictions of distant relatives of homosapiens and modern evolution trees of the current animals.

Moblit guiding you through the shiny tile floor and between the exhibits while holding your hand, eyes gleaming with passion as he goes on and on about each thing you glance at. Making all the trivial facts seem more fascinating than they have any right to be.

The squeaking sound of footsteps echoing on the too clean floors as four children pass you by, racing each other towards the iron suits of armour on display. They almost fall over the red ropes from leaning too close in, their caregiver seemingly busy talking with a security guard over the 'smoking not allowed' sign.

You spare them a final glance before following Moblit through the corridor leading to the world history & old inventions section. Soon enough he steals your attention again as he begins talking about the first airplane prototype that you can't help but be enamoured by.

Despite there being a sign framed on the wall that sums up the jest of Moblit's lecture, he manages to make it not only less boring but add his own twist and uncommon known facts to it that it feels less of a history trip and of an interesting conversation.

He has so much knowledge that he's so eager not to only share but hear your own opinion and take on it, valuing your view no matter what amount of knowledge you have over the subject.

XI. Painting together

It's an idea that you offhandedly suggested after your museum visit, after all spending an hour in the Impressionism era gallery did leave an impression on you. And so the suggestion of checking out an art store for some acrylics and a couple brushes left your lips on the way home without a second thought.

Well little did you know that the small suggestion managed to latch into Moblit's brain for weeks after, making him spend his free time searching and gaining information on painting and how to start, he even managed to find some really good classes having a limited time course sale

That's how both of you end up in a guided painting class, seated next to each other with aprons on and a pallet to mix paint tubes in. You'll find out how much of a fast learner Moblit is, so much that most of the class he spends guiding your hand through the steps and offering his help whenever possible, although he still remembers not to be overbearing and still gives you space.

Both of you are in your own bubble from the class, being with him makes you feel easy and more reassured. He's like your very own comfort corner that you seek in every party, except that he can walk around with you and always looks out for you.

And whatever you end up putting on that canvas, Moblit will cherish more than any renaissance painting, will even insist on hanging it somewhere in the apartment.

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raccoonium · 3 years

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Izzy’s Dag-Dag The Artist… Tag

I was tagged by @poisonedsimmer !

By @morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy

~ Rules ~

Show us a rendition of yourself in your own art! Can be anything! Sims render? Random stick figure? Picrew? Go nuts! (Just be sure to tag the artist if you use someone else’s picrew!!!!) Tag the blogs you want to know, and don’t be a dick that’s it! Also, feel free to answer as vague or in-depth as you want. And if you don’t want to answer a question for any reason just don’t vibe with it! Skip it if you wanna! Also make sure you tag me and use #dagdagtheartisttag so I can see it!!!!!!!!

~Questions~

1.) Do you prefer to be referred to by your name or blog name?

Blog name or just Raccoon!

2.) Where are you from?

Somewhere over the rainbow

3.) Do you have pets? 👀

Four furballs, three of them are brothers and of course I had to name them after Kingdom Hearts characters (Sora, Vanitas and Xion), and then there’s Gremlin

4.) Tell us about your “dream”.

So I had this dream once when I was little that I was going with a car but always around the same building and I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t going fast or anything dangerous but the car couldn’t stop. Nothing spectacular.

yes I know what kind of dream it means but no i don’t feel like asnwering it so have this free random thing

5.) Aside from art, what are your hobbies?

Is playing videogames considered art?

6.)Does anyone irl know about your blog?

Yes but noone’s interested enough to check it out

7.)Do you know anyone from your blog irl?

Sadly no.

8.) What are some fun facts about you?

Not a fun one, just a fact. All of my OCs have a tiiiiiiny part of myself. Might be stuff I like or stuff I don’t. Stuff I am or stuff I wish I was. Or stuff I wish that I never will be. You’ll never know~

9.) What’s your day job?

I won’t say but the best part is when they pay me for taking a shit

10.) Do you have a celebrity look alike?

Elmo probably

11.) What’s your aesthetic?

I’d say messy but grunge makes it sound less bad

12.) What kind of artist are you?

Uh. I like drawing but I gave up on it a while ago. So now I try to learn 3D stuff.

13.) How did you get into your form of art?

The current one because I was stubborn on wanting to make hairstyles for sims.

14.) What do you watch/listen/read/anything else while you create?

Either rock/metal/jazz music, videogame music or jazz versions of videogame music. Or some stream in the background.

15.) What is your favorite of your own creations so far?

A 18+ Soriku drawing I made a while ago that I won’t show here, and for sims stuff I think it’s the 2009 hair because it was much needed lol

16.) How would you describe your art style?

Fucking mess choose an art style already.

18.) What meme would you use to describe yourself?

17.) What is more satisfying to you coloring or outlining?

Since I’m a WIP bitch and almost never finish anything, I painted too little, so outlining wins.

19.) What character from any media form do you most identify with?

Courage the cowardly dog.

20.) If you were on the run, what would you change your name to?

Funny enough it’d be Axel.

21.) Have you ever or do you want to change blog names?

Already did~

22.) God forbid Tumblr decides to pull a MySpace and lets us have page songs, what song would you choose?

La ley innata by Extremoduro I don’t care y’all don’t know shit about spanish that’s THE masterpiece along with her newborn brother Mayeutica.

23.) Oh yeah, I’m still on the MySpace train and I’m starting discourse! Who’s your top 8?

First of all fuck you second of all i’m not tagging. No particular order, many different reasons:

@/gunthermunch

@/poisonedsimmer

@/oydis

@/drosims

@/simandy

@/ladykendalsims

@/slade-the-neko

@/pixeles

24.) Did you understand those references or did you have to look them up? (I’m fully away I’m ancient, but are you?)

I lived the MySpace era but it was not my kind of website so not really

Dag dag?

25.) One last question; why are you like that?

I just go with the flow

Now tag tag!!!

No this is kinda personal so just do it if you feel like it and I’ll read it if you @ me!

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philliamwrites · 4 years

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Cor Cordium

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts (3)

Pairings: Riku/Sora, Roxas/Sora (one-sided), Axel/Roxas (hinted), Vanitas/Ventus (Hinted), Aqua/Terra (mentioned)

Tags: #character study, #relationship study, #post canon, #post kh3, #spoilers, #mourning, #multiple pov, #little dialogue

Words: 6.9k (nice)

Summary: O heart of hearts, the chalice of love’s fire, Hid round with flowers and all the bounty of bloom; […] It is not the end of his story, only the beginning, but everyone is too occupied with mourning to understand.

Cor Cordium

Tell me, Atlus. What is heavier? The world or its people’s hearts?

Sora remembers the phantom feeling of sand under his palms, warm little crystals pressing into his skin. He can’t tell if this is really a memory or just a wish. Lately, it’s been difficult to tell them apart, their lines blurring together. Or maybe since he arrived Here, it’s never been clear from the start, and he’s just clinging to shadows dancing in the back of his mind. He is floating. Or at least he thinks he is. A strange sensation tingles through his body, it feels like thousand ants are crawling on his skin, and yet he knows that his body isn’t really here. Wherever Here is. Sora is passably conscious, not asleep but not quite awake either.

Darkness surrounds him. He can’t see it— it’s more of a feeling, a gentle brush of air against his mind, but it doesn’t scare him. This darkness isn’t the end, it isn’t the beginning either. It is nothing, this blank space between existing and disappearing, and somehow Sora managed to get caught in there. How is he supposed to explain that to Kairi and Riku? And just like that, the warm feeling dissipates, and Sora thinks of his life and his friends, and how both are so closely linked together. One cannot exist without the other. But with each passing moment, Sora feels bits and pieces of him crumbling into dust, scattering like sand swirled by a breeze on a warm summer day.

Sora is alone. He is cold. He is afraid. He is dimly aware of pain, but mostly of a tremendous fatigue, as if he has been covered in layer upon layer of impossibly heavy blankets. It takes a moment for him to realise the wet drops on his face are his own tears, and he curls into a small ball, clinging to himself. He would give anything to see his friends again.

Minutes, hours pass. Maybe only seconds. Time is a foreign concept, a construct not applicable to Sora. Oblivion is grey, it eats at Sora’s mind, at his heart, and he wants to fight it because they can take anything from him but his heart; his heart, a place for so many lives; a prison? A fortress filled with light of hopes and promises he’ll never be able to keep. Maybe now he is paying for the sins he doesn’t remember, for the dreams he’s failed to fulfil, hunting him like hungry beasts with sharp claws.

He’s always known that his most powerful trait was his heart, and so in the end it was only natural that it would be his demise as well. O heart of hearts, beloved of all beloveds is a line from somewhere Sora can’t remember, but he feels it quite fits. He is the core of a small universe in which everyone stretches their hands out to touch him, to take something from him— and Sora wants to give, to give so much that in the end nothing will be left of him. Somehow he thinks that is quite alright, for he is the heart of hearts.

☆

When Sora disappears, Roxas bolts awake from a restless sleep, tears blurring his vision and burning like acid on his cheeks. He isn’t just crying; Roxas is wheezing, sobbing as his heart breaks, and he realises Sora is gone. He can’t breathe. It feels like something vital is missing—a limb or a sense, and he wonders if this is how Ventus is feeling all the time since Vanitas’ disappearance. He doesn’t hear Axel’s worried voice calling his name over and over again; he doesn’t feel his long, heavy arms around his waist. Roxas only feels this boiling, parching anger at Riku, because out of all people, he must have known what was coming. And he let Sora go.

Roxas jumps out of bed, long legs tangled in the sheets, and lands face first on the carpet. His cheek burns from the friction, but the pain is nothing compared to what is raging inside his chest. Ever since he’s become his own person, everything has become a little too much. He remembers his first week back in Twilight Town. When he saw Hayner, Pence and Olette, Roxas was so overwhelmed, he thought for a moment he would die because beside all the happiness swelling inside his chest, there was also some sense of immense grief. He mourned for the hours spent without them; he mourned for the person he could have been if he’d been a normal boy, his own person from the very beginning, and he mourned for all the stories and adventures he’s missed because of that.

And yet, he’s never felt anything like this—not when Xion crumbled into little shards of light in his arms, not when he learnt he’d have to disappear because he didn’t exist in the first place. Roxas has had a front row view to many dire times in his life when happiness was a foreign word he couldn’t explain. But this is something else entirely, something so overwhelming that Roxas is afraid; he’s one raw nerve, burning and sensible to any kind of contact. He’s unsure what exactly he tells Axel, but it’s effective because he helps dressing Roxas, and they’re immediately off to Destiny Islands where they are greeted by the sun blasting down on them. Roxas shields his eyes, scanning the beach for a flash of silver hair. He knows this place like the back of his hand even though he’s only been here once after their victory over the Seekers of Darkness. But every place Sora has visited is engraved in the back of Roxas’ closed eyes, familiar and a second home to his heart.

“Maybe no one’s home,” Axel says somewhere behind him. He’s looking out at the sea, watches as the waves curl against the white sand. The sun reflecting on the clear water draws bright shapes on his face, catching in his radiant, green eyes.

“No. He’s here,” Roxas says with a solid certainty, for Destiny Island was always and will always be the place connecting everything. It’s the knot where all strings come together, where each destiny is carved in some way.

They follow faint footsteps left on the beach, when Roxas notices movement in the corner of his eye. Near the seaside shack, he can see two figures close to each other, but the voices drown in the sound of ocean waves. Roxas speeds up, and when Riku turns, eyes wide and red-rimmed, Roxas doesn’t think twice. His fist connects with Riku’s jaw and hot pain explodes in Roxas’ hand. It’s enough to send Riku to the ground. Roxas follows him.

“You knew!” he screams, swinging at Riku for a second time. “You fucking knew, and you let him go anyway?!”

Distantly, he hears Axel calling his name, but Roxas ignores him. He’s very adamant on punching his fist through Riku’s face who puts insult to injury and doesn’t fight back. It only confirms Roxas’ suspicion: Riku knew he’d come for him. It does nothing to diminish Roxas’ anger.

“Give me one damn reason why I shouldn’t drop you in the darkest pit I can find,” he hisses, grabbing Riku’s collar. Blood runs from his nose over his mouth and chin, but Riku only blinks. The tip of his tongue darts out to clean it from his lips. When he doesn’t answer, Roxas begins to shake him. “Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell me?” Someone grabs Roxas’ shoulder, pulling him back, but with more vigour than before, Roxas pulls himself free, and lands another good hit in Riku’s face. “Why didn’t you stop him?” Too many thoughts race in his mind, and he can’t grasp any of them; they slip like sand through his fingers. Finally Axel, that traitor, pulls Roxas off, and Roxas fights with flailing arms and legs. His elbow finds its way in Axel’s side, winning Roxas an opening. He bolts for Riku, stumbling and shaking uncontrollably.

“How could you?!” Roxas’ voice breaks. He’s grabbing again for Riku’s collar, but his hands betray him as well and search for purchase on his jacket, begging to have a grip on something solid, something that won’t disappear like Sora. “Riku, how could you? Don’t just stare at me, say something. Say something, Riku!”

He’s still met with silence that is so loud it drives him insane, and Roxas doesn’t know what else to do; what else will make Riku talk and explain.

Someone tugs on the hem of his west, and Roxas feels Oathkeeper and Oblivion seconds away from finding their way into his hands, ready to cut through anyone trying to stop him from unleashing another wave of fury. But when he sees it’s Kairi holding onto him, that rage dissipates, and makes way for a different feeling he is far more scared of: grief. Seeing Kairi standing in front of him only confirms this reality Roxas refuses to accept. He wants to beg her to let him go, to stop looking at him with those big, teary eyes so similar to Sora’s. Instead he collapses in front of her, and wails a small, painful sound so inhuman it tears through his own ears. Roxas cries.

She can’t take away that anger from him because without it he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to feel, and feeling itself becomes too much. He knows there is an emptiness waiting for him after all of this, and he’s too afraid to face it.

Riku’s hand curls around his arm, and then he is kneeling beside Roxas, leaning his forehead against Roxas’ shoulder. Roxas feels more than he hears the sob rolling through his body, and he wants to push Riku away, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He’s cried himself tired already. Hours pass as they stay like this, holding hands and weeping with rasping sobs, as if trying to force air into lungs crushed by grief, until Roxas passes out at some point.

The next time he wakes up it’s with less tears, but grief is still a cold hook sitting deep under his skin. His face hurts, but no matter how much he splashes cool water on it, the swelling around his eyes doesn’t go away. He finds Axel outside sitting on the big trunk facing the setting sun. Kairi is beside him with eyes fixed on the red horizon, unblinking. Roxas has noticed it before. Since their arrival, Kairi hasn’t said anything.

“Roxas.” Riku is standing behind him, and Roxas catches the fruit thrown at him with little elegance. Riku’s face looks awful. A dark, ugly bruise colours his right eye purple, rivalled by another one forming on his left, swollen cheek. He’s too smart to ask if Roxas is okay, so instead he settles on a wordless observation. Roxas ignores him. He feels too vulnerable and exposed in front of those keen, cyan eyes. The fruit explodes with a sweet taste in his mouth, reminding Roxas of how much he loves this place. He’s adopted it from Sora; that and many other little traits he still has to sort out who they belong to. Knowing this place will never be the same without Sora opens up a new, fresh wound Roxas knows no Cura or potion is able to heal.

“What’s the plan?” he asks, wiping his fingers on his pants. When Riku doesn’t answer immediately, Roxas’ fist burns with the need to punch him again. “You do have a plan, don’t you?” he presses further, feeling his irritation grow.

Eventually, Riku drags a hand over his face, and sighs. “We’ll talk to Mickey. And Master Yen Sid,” he says, avoiding Roxas’ eyes. “Hopefully one of them knows something.”

“That’s it?” Roxas barely manages to contain his anger from sipping into his voice. “You just hope they know something?”

“They’ve always helped us, so yes.” Blatant challenge flashes in Riku’s eyes when he finally meets Roxas’. “We will go and see them.”

A muscle twitches in Roxas’ jaw. “I don’t remember them doing anything to help me, so maybe revaluate who you’re going to ask for help.”

Riku gives him a sharp glare. “Careful.”

But Roxas has had his fair share of depending on old guys who used him for whatever ulterior motive they had, and frankly he can do without it. “Sora needs us now. You can sit around if you want, but I’m going to look for him.”

He’s almost down the gangplank when Riku calls after him. “And where do you think you’re going? You think visiting world after world will bring you closer to find him?”

Roxas exhales audibly, and wills himself not to turn around, but he’s always been bad at containing all the rage that’s accumulated over the past years. It is this anger that has always set him apart from Sora; that hate towards people who hurt him always drew the clear line between them. This simple black and white was easy to grasp and understand, and even easier to identify with until Sora plunged Roxas’ world into vibrant colours and complex structures, and brought with him so many people Roxas didn’t know and yet meant so much to him. He hates how this even applies to Riku, despite this envy, a churning black storm hidden in his chest. Riku and Sora are inseparable, and Roxas loathes it.

The only comfort lies in how he loves Sora, for Roxas has loved Sora in a way only Ventus and Xion might understand; in a way that is so unfair to Axel who’s trying his best to become everything for Roxas. But Roxas doesn’t want this. He wants Sora. He wants the world, the heart knowing every part of him. His home. Roxas remembers when he returned to Sora. Trying to do the right even though he knew it would mean his end, but once he found peace within Sora, Roxas understood the meaning of home, and the meaning of people’s destinies intertwining.

“If aimlessly searching for Sora will eventually lead to find him, then yes.” Roxas says, voice lacking any heat he’d hoped would burn Riku. Instead a strange resignation shackles every breath in his lungs, and he knows he will only be free when he finds Sora. “I will visit world after world, until the end if I have to.”

Riku drags his eyes from Kairi and Axel back to Roxas, and considers him for a moment in which Roxas tries to see himself through Riku’s perspective— the boy with Sora’s eyes; the Nobody who long ago took something important from Sora, the little piece necessary to complete something far bigger than all of them. A small sighs escapes his lips, and somewhere in there Roxas hears the unspoken You’re just as reckless as Sora. When he closes the distance between them, all muscles in Roxas tense with intuitive caution he can’t get rid of, no matter how often he’s seen Riku by now.

“I want to get him back more than anything else,” Riku says, and in that small moment Roxas sees his vulnerability for the first time. Something tightens in Roxas’ chest, and he takes a step away from Riku. “It’s been only a couple of hours since Kairi returned. And still, I already see him in everything, and I try to be kind to everything because maybe …” His voice tears on the last word, a ragged note of grief like ripped paper. Riku turns his head away from Roxas, but he doesn’t miss how Riku’s lips close into a tight line. “Stumbling through world after world might end up losing him even more,” he finishes. His calm mask is back, and Roxas just can’t understand how Riku is capable of that.

“That didn’t stop Sora from looking for you and Kairi,” Roxas throws back, chin raised stubbornly.

“No, it didn’t.” Riku looks back at Kairi, and that’s when Roxas understands that he’s searching for the right words to tell her that he will leave the Island.

“Then forget your pride for a second,” Roxas says. “And let us help.”

Riku looks like he wants to say something, but then he just gives Roxas a little, tight-lipped smile, and turns to join Kairi up on the trunk. Roxas stares holes into his back. He’ll never understand what Sora sees in him.

He retreats to the shore until cool water sloshes against his feet. A biting cold settles over Roxas, but he knows that doesn’t come from the ocean. Sora has always said how it is a part of the human experience to feel pain, that it is part of a heart, and how it strengthens you, how it connects you, but Roxas dully registers he’d rather have it ripped out of him if it means he’s spared the missing and longing. When he lowers his gaze unto the water, his reflection stares back at him, showing a pale face and golden hair sticking to all sides. His radiant eyes are a beacon, the colour of the sky. A sharp throb drives like a spear through Roxas’ ribs. Everything hurts, he thinks and waits a moment, but his only companion is silence. Sora was a mirror to Roxas, like Ventus to Vanitas. When Roxas said, everything hurts, Sora whispered, but everything can heal. He’s learnt from Sora that hate is a lazy thing, heavy, a burden; but not as heavy or difficult as love so many carry around but are unwilling to practice. Roxas will try better. It’s the least he can do to pay for everything Sora did for him.

Under the water’s surface he spies a Thalassa Shell. Roxas picks it up, and hopes Xion is doing okay. They will all go and look for Sora, and they will find him. They’ve all deserved their happy end. Standing in the dawn, Roxas vows it on the shell, closing his hand tight around it until the edges cut into his skin.

☆ ☆

When Sora disappears, Ventus fears Vanitas is also gone forever. There’s a strange tug in his chest, like his heart knows there is a place he’s supposed to be, and wonders why Ventus doesn’t follow this call. It’s different from when he longed for Aqua and Terra. During his search for them he was constantly followed by this certainty that they’ll be reunited. This is different. This is Ventus closing his eyes to a darkness he knows his keyblade won’t be able to slice through. He’s afraid to fall asleep, the only place where he’s had at least a small connection to Vanitas. If that is gone as well, Ventus would rather not wake up at all. It hurts even more since their return to the Land of Departure because Ventus expected only good things to happen from that point on, admittedly now a naive hope quickly quenched by Sora’s fate.

Ventus is sitting on his bed, a heavy blanket around his shoulders. Thousand stars twinkle above him like tears, and he wonders if the other worlds feel that Sora is gone as well. He wonders if somewhere Kingdom Hearts is crying, having lost such a pure, eminent light. Out of his window he can see the training grounds. In a couple of months, they could be occupied my apprentice keyblade wielders again. Aqua has shown her determination to become the steward and rekindle the original purpose of the castle, and both Terra and Ventus are as eager to help her; Terra even more so. He’s adamant to repent, ignoring Aqua’s and Ventus’ claim that his return is enough. But Terra had shaken his head at that. “It is a debt I will never be able to repay,” he’d said, standing in front of Master Eraqus’ grave. “But I will try. Until my last breath, I will try to set this right.”

It was difficult to explain how none of this had been Terra’s fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. They were victims of a game no one held control over— pieces on a lethal board with cruel rules no one really knew. It’s a wonder they made it out alive, together and unscathed, and still, they paid a price for that happy end, some more than others. Ventus hasn’t heard from Riku and Kairi in a while, but his comfort lies in how Aqua and Terra keep looking at each other. Strangely, now more than ever before Ventus notices how close they are. It is probably true what they say about being separated. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if Terra and Aqua think he’s too chaste to figure out the meaning behind the dark spots on Aqua’s neck or below Terra’s ears, they underestimate him severely.

Once he’s asked Aqua about them, but she only gave him a little, sheepish smile before pushing a loose strand behind his ear. “You’ll learn soon enough,” she’d said. Terra had avoided his eyes, his hands busy with pulling on his keychain, a habit whenever he’s embarrassed. Ventus had just looked at Aqua with a careful, blank expression, and let her believe that he doesn’t touch himself under his blanket to quiet whispers of boy’s names. Ever since he woke up, and spent time with everyone else, he’s noticed how certain things jump right to his attention like a beacon. Terra’s muscles moving during practice. Hayner’s incredibly beautiful eyes, filled with wonder and excitement. Riku’s smooth, flawless skin. Then again, he’s spend so much time inside Sora’s heart who grew up beside Riku, and for Ventus to develop his attraction to boys was only natural. Ventus doesn’t want to remember when he saw Riku for the first time. Dozens of images from Sora’s fantasies flashed before his eyes, and he kept his distance to Riku, unsure how to handle the emotions. It isn’t something bad, that he knows. His friends would never judge him for liking boys. They all love each other too much for such a trivial think to matter, and why should it? It is love nonetheless, and every single one of them is just as much starving for it as they are ready to give.

And still, Ventus is so insecure, because he always ends up thinking about Vanitas. Vanitas is his mirror, reflecting unspoken pieces of Ventus he himself is afraid to face. If Ventus starts thinking too hard about it, he’ll probably stumble upon answers he wouldn’t even know what to do with. And so he tries to turn away whenever he spies glances of blue turning into intimidating gold, and buries the questions deep into his heart where he hopes they’ll suffocate from the silence.

A soft knock stops Ventus’ thoughts. His body tenses, and he waits for more to come. Instead, Terra’s voice carries through the door. “Ven? Ven, you awake?”

He could lie and pretend he isn’t but after days of locking himself in his room, Ventus started missing his friends. His only fear is that if Terra sees his sketches of Vanitas’ key chain and the logo of the Unversed scribbled on paper, he will take them away and burn them between his fingers like Aqua did. Behind the door, Ventus hears shuffling, and the fear that Terra leaves bolts like a hot spell through him. He sits up, and tells Terra to come in. The door opens with a soft click. Light from the outside hall streams into the room, casting away shadows, and once Ventus sees Terra’s broad shoulders filling the door frame, breathing becomes easier.

“Hey, champ.” Terra gives him a little smile. “Thought you might be hungry.”

Ventus isn’t, but nods anyway, just to see the little hope in Terra’s eyes— the very first sight of progress he and Aqua managed since Ventus’ withdrawal. He makes room on his bed, and turns on the star shaped lamp sitting beside his bed on a narrow table as Terra crosses the room. A plate with fruits, cheese and meat lands between them while Terra takes a seat on the edge, watching Ventus eagerly. Just to make Terra happy, Ventus picks one grape and puts it in his mouth.

“How are you?” Terra asks, much more straightforward than Aqua with her careful, quiet words. Ventus thinks about how he doesn’t want to get up forever. How this feeling weighs on him like an anchor pulling him deeper and deeper into darkness. He thinks about lying, but Ventus never wants to be separated from his family ever again— physically and emotionally, so he settles with a neutral, “I don’t know.”

Terra nods. He leans back on his arms, the skin pulling tight where his muscle tense. Ventus looks away, and stares at the faintly glowing star stickers on his shelf Aqua gave him on his birthday. He wonders if Vanitas ever got a present from Xehanort, and has to bite his lip to conceal a laugh because that is just too ridiculous.

“—us? Hey, Ven?” Fingers pop in front of Ventus’ eyes, making him flinch. “Just where are you with your head?”

A strange smile pulls Terra’s face into an expression Ventus is unfamiliar with. Another pang of guilt settles in his chest, and he misses those times when he understood Terra and Aqua without a word.

“I’m thinking about where Sora is,” Ventus lies. Terra frowns. He must know Ventus isn’t telling the truth but decides to go with it anyway.

“Don’t worry,” he says, stealing a piece of cheese from Ventus’ plate. “We’ll find him. Since Aqua can’t reach Riku or Kairi, they might have left already.”

Ventus hums, but somehow he doesn’t think that’s the case. What Sora, Riku and Kairi have; how they are is much more complicated. Ventus even doubts the word love can grasp what they feel for each other. At times, he’s jealous of that connection, and the next moment he is afraid of it. He’s felt it in Sora’s sacrifice back then for Kairi, and in Aqua’s never ending believe in Terra, and what is love if not an immense power capable of pushing people to their limits and beyond, a weapon justifying any sort of destruction. Tightening his blanket around his shoulders, Ventus dugs his head and shuffles closer to Terra.

“You know, I always keep thinking that maybe … we could have done something,” he confesses. “That if Sora trusted us a little more, he’d asked for our help.”

“Do you really think Sora didn’t trust us?” Terra asks, leaning back until he’s lying next to Ventus, arms crossed behind his head.

“Well, what other explanation is there?” Ventus hates that he sounds like a sulking boy, offended because a friend didn’t ask him to join the playing. But he’d always thought the connection between him and Sora was something special, something untouchable and set into stone. He’s protected Sora just as much as Sora has protected him all those years, and Ventus hasn’t thought of stopping once.

“You don’t really believe that.” The sound of Terra’s little laugh snaps Ventus’ head up. “I know you don’t.”

“Huh?”

“We’re not that different from him, Aqua, you and I. We all love too much, but isn’t that better than to have none of it?”

“So better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?” Ventus remembers this line from a book in the library he’s read long ago, and back then he didn’t quite understand its meaning. Now, he wonders if love truly is Sora’s greatest fault, but that is hard to understand as well.

Terra sits up, and ruffles Ventus’ hair, just like the old times when everything was simple and clean. It tightens Ventus’ chest, but this time it’s not a bad feeling at all. “You’ve been in there all this time,” he says, pointing at Ventus’ heart. “So you know the answer to that. Now eat up. And think about joining us sometime. Aqua really misses you.”

Ventus nods, and takes another fruit. Terra’s smile widens. When he heads for the door, Ventus summons all his courage. It’s time to stop running.

“Terra,” he calls. Terra stops, and turns around. “You really think we’ll see Sora again one day, right?”

Terra doesn’t hesitate. “Of course. Our destinies are intertwined. And besides, you never stopped believing in bringing me back home. Now it’s my time to light someone’s way.”

“And do you think … I’ll see Vanitas again as well some day?”

That brings Terra’s smile to a full stop. He isn’t happy. Ventus sees it in the way Terra presses his lips into a thin line, and squares his shoulders. He avoids Ventus’ eyes for a split second, a tiny fracture of time in which Ventus stops breathing and waits for the final judgement. Eventually, Terra quickly turns around, checking if someone’s behind him, and Ventus wonders if he’s looking for Aqua.

Quietly, Terra finally says, “If that is what you wish for, then I will do anything I can to help you fulfil it.”

The hot sting behind Ventus’ eyes is a clear indicator for tears waiting to escape, so Ventus quickly hides his face in his blanket, shuddering with a silent sob. Only when he hears the door closing, Ventus dares to look up again. His room is dark, and the glowing stars stick out more after bathing in light, capturing Ventus’ attention. He wonders if Vanitas might like them as well.

Ventus curls into himself and closes his eyes. Into the darkness, he whispers “Vanitas” three times.

But nobody comes.

The missing is the worst. All Ventus wants is to crawl inside Vanitas’ skin and stay there. He wants every piece of him to crush into every piece of Vanitas, and become whole again; to become one. He doesn’t want to keep wondering how everyone just can go on as if Vanitas never existed, not when he to Ventus is the world. His heart is still split, an open door ready for darkness to invest, and yet he knows there will only be one certain shadow his heart will allow entrance.

Ventus blinks through the wall of tears, looking at the stars. He has to focus on Sora first. If he can’t bring him back, then certainly he’ll fail to guide Vanitas home as well. A shooting star splits the heaven in two, burning on its way down. Ventus closes his eyes. In this endless night, he has only one wish: Ventus wishes a shining light will guide Sora through a starless sky, and hopes his journey home will be soft and peaceful.

☆ ☆ ☆

When Sora disappears, Riku doesn’t cry because he knows once he starts, he won’t be able to stop.

His only comfort is Kairi, though she doesn’t talk, and only spends hours upon hours writing letters to Sora, all starting with my dearly beloved. Those lines remind Riku of a bittersweet melody he’s heard in a dream once, each wistful tune pulling at his heartstrings. Back then, it had also felt a lot like a farewell to a story he wasn’t yet part of, and now his chest throbs with a low, persistent rhythm of that song.

But it’s difficult to believe this is the end. Riku is in a strange, blank space between hope and desperation, where it’s hard to look for the light, but also impossible to drown in darkness. Finding home in both, Riku is an unusual dweller cheating through life. He knows it’s more than most people get, and he’s aware of how lucky he is. Maybe that is why the universe decided he’s run out of it now, and Riku thinks how unfair that is. That they live in a universe that doesn’t want them to be together any more. It’s either him gone or Kairi, and now Sora. And so when Roxas and Lea prepared to return to Twilight Town, and Roxas had asked him, “Do you even believe that we’ll find him?” it wasn’t difficult for Riku to be honest. “I believe in a universe that doesn’t care,” he’d said. “And people who do.”

After that, Riku started avoiding Roxas, Ventus and Xion even though it is not what they deserve after everything they’ve been through. But he can’t see them, and not think of Sora with how many of his habits they’ve inherited. Roxas carries all the anger Sora has swallowed throughout the years. Just thinking back to how Roxas had punched him, his thumb tugged into his fist like Sora always did no matter how often Riku tried to correct him, hurts like a sudden light striking his eyes in the dead of the night. Ventus is the source of Sora’s broad grins and gentle smiles, laughing at everything— a blazing sun casting away any shadows. They both know the power hiding in being soft and kind, to love and forgive. Xion is part Sora, part Kairi with her love for everything that is bright. She uses everything she can find as bookmarks: cups, little stones, little replicas of everyone’s key chains. Just like Sora she wants to be close to anyone, her happiness lies in those of others and nourishes her. They all love fruits, they all hate carrots, they all can fall asleep in the most uncomfortable places like a cat that finds home everywhere. Riku would rather gouge his eyes out than see another pair of those exact radiant, blue eyes, and so he sticks around Destiny Island, and takes care of Kairi, while she takes care of him.

They live in a strange dynamic, part symbiotic and part parasitic. Riku tells Kairi stories about Sora both remember fondly, and she pays him with a rare smile that dissipates dark clouds in his heart. But Kairi can never truly tell him what exactly happened when Sora brought her back, and Riku is sure she can read the irritation on his face like an open book. Just seeing her is a reminder that someone is missing, the third party in their strange constellation of two, and yet more than ever before, they stick to each other like two pieces of the same soul dwelling in different bodies.

Riku misses Sora. He misses Sora so much, it physically hurts him. He misses his easy smiles, the jokes. The reassurance that no matter what mistakes Riku has done, it’s fine. He is a good person, deserved of being a Keyblade Master. He misses how Sora was capable of turning every pain and sadness into something bright. Sora was given the rare gift to make gold out of every pain. A purer blessing doesn’t exist. But it’s not only the words Riku misses. He misses Sora’s soft skin, his parched lips mapping Riku’s body. He misses how in Sora’s arms he felt safe and at home, that there was no past, and no future. Just the present with them both as the sole habitants, a population of two and no one else was allowed between them.

Riku remembers their first kiss. It was in the Secret Place and they were 15. It was nothing but a chaste, quick peck, lips briefly brushing against each other, and yet Sora had giggled so helplessly, cheeks red and happy like it was the most powerful experience he’s ever felt. He didn’t hide his smile, he’d always been so willing to share it with everyone. Riku remembers the jealousy he’d felt, how he thought Sora’s willingness to open up to everyone was so unfair. He made it look so easy, so effortless, like he didn’t need to think at all who might deserve his smiles. His heart was an open door, never closed, never locked. They’d kept their relationship a secret, or rather they tried. Kairi knew. She must have felt something going on between them. Riku never dared to underestimate a Princess of Light again, but it was like a noose being lifted from his neck whenever she gave him this soft, knowing smile.

Now he tries to think back to the last time they were alone together without any responsibilities weighing on their shoulders. After defeating Ansem and returning to the Island, Mickey’s letter didn’t leave much time to catch up after the year of their separation, and after that, during their Mark of Mastery exam, Riku was everywhere but beside Sora. Now, Riku tries to ignore the little voice telling him that he’ll never see Sora again because he doesn’t believe it. He can’t believe it. Hope has been his constant companion for the last two years, and he’s grown too fond of it. Leaving it behind means to let go of the only rope of salvation Riku is clinging onto, and no matter how much darkness he’s learnt to embrace, he just knows that he will drown in those dark waves crushing upon him with what he can only describe as loneliness.

But if life is lonely for him, it is far lonelier for Sora. When he tries to imagine in what place he must be now, Riku is quite simply angry. Martyr lies on everyone’s lips, and yet no one dares to speaks it out loud because that would be to acknowledge everyone’s fault. He knows this anger won’t bring him anywhere, but it is just hard to accept a fate that robbed the universe of someone vital to so many people.

Sora loved like few ever could love, with all and everything; unrepentant and with a passion that burned holes in anyone’s doubt. The sea and the sky will never stop holding his ghost: in each wave Riku can hear the wisp of Sora’s laughter, in each cloud he can see the remnants of Sora’s eyes. So whenever he waits until Kairi falls asleep, trying not to dwell too long on the tears hanging on her wet lashes like dew in the morning hours, Riku then returns to his room where he mourns with the moon and the stars, and it is a bittersweet feeling to share this grief with the world.

Five days pass, then six. On the seventh day, when he enters Kairi’s room and doesn’t find her sitting on her bed with a stack of papers resting on her thighs like usual, dread sinks in his stomach and he closes his eyes. If he loses her as well, Riku himself will burn down the Islands and start another war. On her table, Riku finds more scribbles of Sora, Donald and Goofy, all three huddled inside the gummi ship. His fingers shake when he takes the pen and draws Sora’s crown necklace in a corner, just focusing on breathing with each stroke on the paper. When his thoughts start to run in painful circles, Riku pushes the tip hard enough to rip the paper. Trying so hard to stay calm, not to cry, he doesn’t notice door opening behind him, until—

“Riku.”

He freezes. Behind him, Kairi looks at him with worry and something else in her eyes, but Riku doesn’t read further into it, too occupied with reaching her, holding her, holding her.

Kairi takes one breath, then a second. Her small hands on his back feel so warm, so secure, and Riku allows himself to be weak for a moment in her arms.

“It’s time for us, isn’t it?” Riku starts, and just the approving hum from her draws a shudder from him. “We can’t let him wait any longer.”

“Don’t worry, Riku,” Kairi says, and just like that, the world is tiled back to its original position. “He knows we’re already on our way.”

Riku leans back, his arms still around Kairi, and he is astonished that someone looking so fragile is so much stronger than him. Kairi considers him for a long moment. She takes Riku’s hand and squeezes tightly, leaning her head into his shoulder. Riku understands, and presses his lips to her forehead. “We’ll find him.”

It’s not a promise. It’s an oath.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Sora opens his eyes. His face is wet, everything is wet and cold, and he faintly remembers the phantom feeling of something warm against his palm. He doesn’t remember what it was. When he tries to get up, his body is there, not broken, not hurt but somehow he hurts inside, and he can’t explain what it is. All around him, the artificial lights of a city illuminate the streets, but wherever he looks, shadows wait in the deepest corners to plunge on him. Something on his left palm burns, and when he looks down, numbers blink up to him in an angry red, running down.

Instinctively, Sora closes his hand into a fist, so tight that his nails bite into his skin. His mind is foggy, but there’s a feeling that he needs to be somewhere; that he has to return somewhere he can’t name. The closest thing it reminds him of is home, and he will do anything to return. Sora has to go back, to follow this tugging inside his chest aiming for a place he doesn’t remember, for he is the heart of hearts.

Most importantly love Like it’s the only thing you know how At the end of the day all this Means nothing […] Nothing even matters Except love and human connection Who you loved And how deeply you loved them How you touched the people around you And how much you gave them

— rupi kaur

#philliamwrites #ao3 #fanfiction #kingdom hearts #kh #kingdom hearts 3 #kh3 #soriku #soroku #vanven #sora #riku #roxas #axel #vanitas

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revengerevisited · 3 years

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okay well, some people requested that i post my anti-ship rant, so here it is. please read the tags first for content warnings before continuing. also i really don’t want to get into a big argument over this particular ship, i’ve already been through that sort of thing before years ago and i don’t want to go through it again. >_>’

so... talking about my ‘most hated ship of all time’™ is kinda hard for me, because it means bringing up one of my major squicks— selfcest/incest, which i’m afraid makes me look like an anti if i complain about it, doubly so since everyone has their own personal interpretations of what selfcest/incest is in the kh series, if it exists at all. like for example, is ro*kushi incest? i don’t think so, but some people do (and yet they often don’t consider ro*kunami that way... hmm suspicious :P). in other words without any common ground on whichever characters are actually related to each other or not (seeing as half of them are magical clones), the hypocrite finger could potentially be pointed at anyone, including myself. XT

anyway, it’s easier and more comfortable for me to complain about te*rraqua, because (ignoring the væ*nqua haters and weird ‘aqua is ven’s mom’ stuff) my dislike of it essentially boils down to, “it’s boring and overshadows my otp,” which is a relatively mild take. but with ve*nvan, and yes this is about ve*nvan, it’s more like, “it overshadows my otp AND the selfcest/incest aspect makes me physically nauseous,” which is a much more intense yet also subjective take that draws proshipper ire and potentially hurts people’s feelings. >_<

now as far as canonical sibling relationships go, i can point to vanitas repeatedly calling ven (and sora) his brother multiple times in canon, but then the ve*nvan shippers could also point to ven saying that they’re not, and technically they’d be right. ve*nvan isn’t incest or even selfcest anymore, not after re:mind. i’m still surprised that the shippers i talked to back then were actually upset by ven and vanitas not being related (in the sense of being the same person) anymore, since that’s actually a benefit to their ship and all. in fact, i’ve only ever seen one celebrating the “we’re not brothers” line. i guess the original connection between the characters in bbs is what they like about the ship, and why they’re upset that that relationship doesn’t exist anymore, even though for me that exact same connection is what i like about them being brothers.

idk, i guess before re:mind it was easier to point out why i didn’t like ve*nvan, but now if i ever say the reason is because incest ships squick me out, probably the mildest response i’d get would be “but it’s not really incest...” and that just ends up circling back to what vanitas said vs what ven said. like, if vanitas truly feels that his relationship with ven is a brotherly one, is him saying that they’re brothers good enough for me to be allowed to call them brothers, canonically? or do i have to accept ven’s rejection of that notion? because i’ve also encountered ve*nvan shippers who’ve personally gotten angry with me just from me casually calling them brothers without even mentioning disliking the ship. and if i say that adopted/step-sibling incest grosses me out too, regardless of blood relation... ultimately it doesn’t really matter, does it.

i mean, there’s already hundreds of ve*nvan fanfics and thousands of fanarts out there; complaining about it does nothing but paint a target on my back— same as it did years ago. it’s a helpless feeling, really, how inescapable that ship is, if i ever want to look up anything involving my favorite character. :( just imagine if væ*nqua was half as popular as te*rraqua or ve*nvan. there’d be so much content i wouldn’t even have a reason to be upset. ...i’m just now realizing that’s really what this all comes down to, isn’t it; a lack of content for ships i like, and an overabundance of content for ships i don’t.

*sigh* at least i’ve learned a lot about the whole ‘anti vs proshipper’ thing since then (including the term ‘proshipper’ itself, that’s how little i knew), and also what not to do when it comes to posting about ships i don’t like (ie don’t tag them like an idiot). like obviously i’m not gonna go after anyone for shipping ve*nvan, and if you like it that’s fine, but personally it’s just not my cup of tea at all, sorry. that said, will i ever write a va*naquaven smut fic? most likely, but there’s a reason why aqua’s name is in the middle. ;P

anyway, so yeah i guess that’s the end of my big dumb rant against my notp, which i probably wouldn’t hate nearly as much if my otp was even just a modicum more popular. there’s just no solution other than to make more va*nqua content... and that takes a lot of hard work. anyway, most of my opinions on other kh ships are basically just, “it’s fine,” “not interested,” or “why ship that when va*nqua is right there?” but otherwise my feelings on those ships aren’t particularly strong nor rant-worthy. mostly. o3o

#vent #rant #anti-terraqua #anti-venvan #cw incest mention #also i'm talking about fiction only #not real life

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oveliagirlhaditright · 4 years

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What are your favorite KH headcanons? Just in general, nothing specific :)

It’s funny... I can think of headcanons when I’m writing or whatever--or just at the spur of the moment--but when asked for them, they all disappear from my mind. Uhh... let’s see what I can come up with.

Because Kairi has had a different hairstyle that every year that we see her, I headcanon that she changes her hair every year.

I also headcanon her birthday is September 17th (the day KH1 was released in the U.S. This is also SoKai Day), since Sora’s birthday is the day of the Japanese release and because it makes Kairi a Virgo. She somewhat reminds me of a Virgo. And apparently an Virgos and Aries (which Sora is) can be good together, so...

I imagine that Riku is rich, just because he has a balcony in the KH manga. So is Kairi, for being the adopted daughter of the mayor in my mind (I get into that just below). Sora, however, is probably middle class. For this reason, hangouts with the three usually happen at Kairi or Riku’s house. But sometimes Sora’s still... And these three totally snuck into each other’s houses after dark--through bedroom windows--all the time, and no one can tell me any differently.

And, like most of the fandom does, I headcanon that Destiny Islands’ mayor is Kairi’s adopted father... even though that’s never exactly said. It’s said that the girl who arrived during the meteor shower was at the mayor’s house, but that could have just been for the time and she eventually got relocated somewhere else. But nah. I also headcanon that the mayor adopted her.

I like my headcanon of Xion liking doilies for some reason.

And my one about Roxas being able to cook, too.

For some reason, I adore the idea that Riku can’t cook to save his life.

I also don’t think that Sora is dumb, and I’ll fight people on this. And at this point, I’m kind of stealing another’s headcanon... but I like the idea that Donald and Goofy teach Sora school things he’s missing on their travels together.

I can also get into the headcanon that Sora’s dad passed when he was young (sadly). Since we hear him mentioned in BbS, but don’t hear him calling Sora to dinner alongside Sora’s mother in KH1 or anything like that.

I definitely headcanon that there are a few islands on Destiny Islands--since it’s Destiny Islands plural--but that they’re probably small, so that the kids still feel “trapped there”.

I imagine that Sora and Riku’s parents put up some of the Play Island stuff absent in Dark Road.

Until proven otherwise, because of the character files, I’m headcanoning that Roxas, Lea, Xion, Isa, and Naminé are all living together now (with Lea and Isa acting as their parents). Probably in the Old Mansion that they fixed up. But on the flip-side of that, I think that Sora and Kairi’s parents accepted their kids’ Nobodies and Replicas as their own, and they sometimes stay there.

I also want to pretend that Isa made a bigger effort to make things up to Roxas and Xion.

I actually don’t think Naminé would jump on the drawing train as most fans seem to think she would. Rather... since drawing is actually tied to traumatic memories for her, I think she’d want to get as far away from it as she could at first. And it would take her friends showing her that she could make good memories with it too, that would finally make her an artist.

Terra and Aqua came from other worlds than the Land of Departure (and how I wish we’d get information on that!). Right now--even though it’ll never happen in a million years, since this series isn’t even Disney--I’m writing that Aqua is originally from “Antar” from the Roswell series, but that’s more fanfiction territory. More likely than not, I want to believe that Terra and Aqua are from worlds that fit their names.

Strelitzia is bisexual. I don’t care that Player canonically is a guy at this point, thus probably making her het. Shh.

Speaking of bisexuality... I think that Sora is. I could maybe even headcanon Riku as that now.

Naminé would totally wear baby blue, if Nomura ever lets her get another outfit.

Xion probably eventually picks up some artsy thing that she can do too, to better fit in with Kairi, Naminé, and Aqua. In the novels, she wanted to make a lucky charm but didn’t know how to. So I can see it.

I don’t think this is a headcanon, so much as it is canon that we haven’t seen yet (since Nomura has slightly talked about this in interviews, even if he’s never going to do anything with it now). Rinoa exists in the KH universe. And it’s because something happened to her during the fall of Radiant Garden--that Leon really is beating himself up about--that he changed his name. And it’ll only seeing her alive and well again, that will get him to change his name back. And he eventually will (or maybe even has in my headcanon). And, yes: the letter he got in the KHII credits was totally from her, telling him that she was alright. Rinoa is also why he has wings on the back of his jacket.

Yuna, Rikku, and Paine aren’t actually tiny fairies, but Maleficent turned them into that... And this is so I can ship KH Tidus and Yuna, yeah. But I swear if you listen to one of Rikku’s lines, it sounds like she might be implying this.

While I think originally, it was Aerith that Cloud was trying to save in KH1 (...for some reason. Since she’s fine in the KH verse), fans have now convinced me that it was actually Zack, so I hope we eventually get the FFVII characters in KH’s story eventually resolved.

Some people argue that all of Traverse Town with the TWEWY characters was a dream--or maybe it’s that they argue Joshua saving his friends through Sora and Riku’s help was the dream--but in my book, it totally happened.

Naminé is an honorary member of the Destiny Trio and Sea Salt Trio.

Kairi and Naminé see each other as sisters, and Sora, Roxas, and Ventus (and Vanitas, if he ever comes back and is redeemed) see each other as brothers. But Sora and Roxas miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight slightly see themselves as more closely linked brothers, and same thing with Ventus and Vanitas.

I also see Xion as a third sister for Kairi and Naminé. Most of the fandom disagrees with this. And I understand why. Most of the fandom sees her as Sora’s sister (and maybe even then sistered to the other boys. And sometimes I now do this--sort of because of peer pressure--but I’ll also have her be a shared sister between the boys and Kairi and Naminé, even though Sora and Kairi themselves aren’t “related”. But I hate that when I do this, it ruins my RokuShi dreams. So it’s probably part of the reason that I usually don’t). But I still see Xion as closer to Kairi than Sora. I know she was supposed to be a Sora clone (but it didn’t really work and she was a failed clone of him), but she mostly defined by his memories of Kairi. And that’s who she chooses to be and how she sees herself. But people then argue that it’s Sora’s memories of Kairi, though, not Kairi herself. And I get that.... But I still think she’s closer to Kairi. Why? Because Sora was actively trying to make her Kairi. And I’m sure some of himself slipped into there, as parts of a writer--so to speak--shows up in all their work, whether they intended it or not. But for example... let’s say that Sora hates chocolate and Kairi loves it. Since he was trying to make Xion like Kairi, he would therefore have her like chocolate, even though he hated it. So that’s one more point for Xion moreso being like Kairi in my book. I also... when I first played Days, she reminded me a lot of Kairi, partly because of some of her snarky lines. It’s only recently that I’ve looked at Days and seen some Sora in her--and realized that also could have partly come from him--but I still stand by what I said.

And while we’re on the subject... after everyone got their own hearts and bodies at the end of KHIII, I don’t think pairings like RokuShi or RokuNami, or whatever else would be insert of self-cest at all. Really, I don’t ever think it was. Because KH rules state that it’s your heart and how you see yourself that governs everything around you... but especially not after KHIII resolved this. So it kind of ticks me off when people still bring up this argument.

Because this plot hole bothers me... Kairi totally remembered Merlin when she trained with him in KHIII.

Most the rest of these will probably be about Kairi. Since you all know she’s my girl, and I think about her a lot.

I pretend that Kairi did somewhat have an edgy stage, and still somewhat is. Maybe because I somehow combine that with tomboy in my head. IDK. Speaking of--though not that this is really “edgy”--I’ve written that Kairi likes Queen at least twice. Just pretend that Destiny Islands has Queen. Haha.

I also believe that even after Kairi became more girly in KHII, she still has some tomboy to her: like how even though she wears a dress in KHII, she still has sneakers on, and how her school bag isn’t decorated at all when Selphie’s is. She’s also a fighter, of course (not that that necessarily makes a girl a tomboy -looks at Buffy-). I imagine out of the three, Naminé is the girliest, Kairi is a mix of tomboy and girly-girl, and Xion is a tomboy.

I think Kairi, Naminé, and Xion would all have great relationships with each other. Naminé and Xion, because they both know what it’s like to be “Nobodies” , told they shouldn’t exist, and forgotten (Kairi knows this, too), and have suffered (though Kairi has too, of course). They’re also both slightly shier. Kairi and Xion because they both can be snarky (though Xion not as much), are more outgoing and both fight, and are maybe pretty evenly matched right now (they’d probably spar a lot). And Kairi and Naminé, because they’re like the extroverted and introverted version of each other. And I imagine Kairi could convince Kairi to try things more, while Naminé would get her to chill the F out about things.

Kairi and Xion are probably both protective of Naminé, since she’s been so abused and they can fight and she can’t.

Sora, Roxas, and Ventus might be protective of Xion. But for me, Roxas is because of shipping reasons.

Back to the girly-girl Kairi thing... While pink probably is for sure her favorite color now, she still likes purple and other colors. And will use them.

I also just... don’t see her wearing makeup. I know other fans do, and that’s fine. But I don’t. Mainly because it doesn't look like she ever is in the game. I think that’s part of her tomboy coming through still. She cares about her hair, her clothes, perfume and whatever else, but she doesn’t care about makeup.

I used to headcanon that Aqua and Xion would become best friends--and they still could--but Melody of Memory maybe hinted at something else.

...I think this is everything right now.

Edit: And pretty much every headcanon that bluerosesburnblue comes up with for the KHUX world is right up my alley.

Edit 2: Destiny Islands maybe isn’t as technologically un-advanced as I and some had originally thought, but it’s still not modern day Shibuya or anything like that.

Edit 3: A lot of Destiny Islands’ culture is based on Japan.

Edit 4: This isn’t a “headcanon” at all. But I love to joke with the fandom, that Naminé and Xion might as well be Sora and Kairi’s daughters. LOL

Edit 5: And because of that one scene in KHII, where Kairi, arguably, hits Riku in the arm, if you look close enough--and that one translation of the KHII manga, where Kairi tells Riku not to be such sourpuss--I headcanon that these two somewhat play off just how much they mean to each other. But really, they love each other of course. I mean that platonically.

Edit 6: And I want to believe Minnie and Daisy could eventually go on an adventure with Kairi or something. I like the headcanon that Daisy’s a magician, too--since Minnie is strong with light magic--even though it’s not true. Haha.

Edit 7: Sora says Kairi’s name over and over again at the end of KHI and tells her “I love you” at the end of KHIII.

Edit 8: Riku is Sora’s best man at Sora and Kairi’s wedding. He’s also the “uncle” and godfather of their kids.

Edit 9: Speaking of, Sora and Kairi have a daughter named “Sakura”. But it’s pronounced like how you would say “Sum” (but drop the “M”, of course) and then “Cora”. “Sumcora” (but without the “M”).

Edit 10: Kairi’s a Disney princess.

Edit 11: Max Goof exists in the KH universe, as do the Three Caballeros, who Donald is friends with.

Edit 12: Terra and Naminé are friends.

Edit 13: This is completely unoriginal--and just “Riku” backwards--but in fics, I often call Riku Replica “Ukir” (I pronounce it “You-Kai-Err”, because I’m too lazy to come up with anything else and don’t want to steal other people’s ideas. And Repliku probably did want to be the opposite of Riku, so... -shrugs-

#Kairi was also probably a popular girl and maybe a cheerleader. I also bet aqua was acheerleader #and aqua is a tomboy too of course with some girly qualities. probably more than lionand less than kairi #I don't think any of the kh girls wear makeup usually. maaaaaaaaaaaybe Namine. but I'm not even sure about her #and I headcanon that a lot of the novel stuff is true. like terra whittling wood. and him liking nuts. and aqua loving to bake #and this is more a ship than a headcanon... but I weirdly kind of ot3 Xehanort Eraqus and vor now

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bemused-writer · 5 years

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VNC Chapter 44 Analysis

Well, I think the main takeaway most people had with this chapter is that Vanitas is a lot less collected than we all thought. And I completely agree. XD Clearly, I've given this fellow too much credit in my fanfic.

Anyhow, it almost goes without saying that we learned a lot about Vanitas in this chapter, but we also learned a surprisingly large amount about Roland, so let's dig in.

The first thing that struck me as noteworthy was Noé's complete and utter overreaction. We already knew that he never really had to do things for himself with Louis and Dominique constantly taking care of him when he was young. For example, Mochizuki pointed out that they always helped him clean his room, and he is now terrible at being tidy. In other words, Noé was a touch spoiled. This is relevant because it explains why he has never had to take care of an ill person once in his life, so if Vanitas says he can't continue on then, by Noé's logic, he really must be dying.

Thus, it's completely fair when Manet and Nox wonder if these two are children; they're both certainly acting like it. XD

Still, Noé is coming from a place of genuine concern; he's never seen Vanitas act like this just like we haven't.

Before I move on, one thing I'd like to point out is the difference between Noé and Luca's reaction to the people they care about acting oddly. Luca immediately goes to someone he knows Jeanne trusts--a friend in other words. Meanwhile, Noé goes to the nearest authority figure he can find: Count Orlok. I think this is telling on both their parts.

Luca is someone who was raised to be the authority figure. While he doesn't like it even remotely, he knows he has to solve things for himself. He probably also knows the value of going to someone you know you can trust; he's surrounded by the aristocracy and he knows you can't trust just anyone with delicate information.

Noé has blind faith in authority figures on the other hand. He obeys Teacher without question, accepts Ruthven's presence in his hotel room as something he has a right to do in chapter 19, and he always listens to Dominique no matter what. Both she and Teacher are the ones that choose what his clothes look like according to the extra in the back of volume 3.

I suppose what I'm getting at is that Noé is very comfortable, accustomed even, to other people making decisions for him. He's not the one who has chosen most anything in his life, and I think this attitude started when he was very young. Certainly being sold as a slave and accepting that whoever bought him would be his "master" was a mindset he probably had to develop to survive and he may not have fully grown out of it. I'm sure it was only compounded by being surrounded by people who doted on him and protected him and made sure he never even had to make a decision for himself. His attitude is born of a very strange mix of neglect and indulgence.

In other words, Noé has a lot of potential problems he needs to sort out, and I'm sure his independence is going to be one of them.

Getting back on track, all of this is to say it's not surprising Noé goes to Count Orlok when he can't find Amelia. In theory, he could have tracked Dante down, someone Vanitas sort-of trusts, but he doesn't. It could because it would have been too hard to find him, but personally I don't think it even crossed his mind. He doesn't know what to do; someone else is supposed to handle these matters.

As for Vanitas, he is a complete wreck in this chapter. XD I think Vanitas is the kind of character that likes to act like he's calm, collected, and definitely knows what he's doing. It's even easy for us, the readers, to think the same because he has the book, he has the powers, he knows all about vampires when even the vampire protagonist doesn't, so it would make sense.

But all of that ignores the fact that Vanitas has also shown some definite signs of being slightly unhinged in awkward social situations from the very start. How does he befriend Noé? He stalks him all across Paris. How does he react when Noé gets closer to understanding him? He draws a dagger at him and tells him to go away. Alternatively, he calls him a slur and tries to make him leave. How does he handle Dominique accusing him of loving VotBM? He goes on a full-blown rant in the middle of a vampiric ball and generally makes a fool of himself.

So, the fact that he's a complete mess when he realizes he has genuine affection for someone is actually a lot less surprising in this context. Vanitas is trying to be someone he isn't. In other words, all that pompous know-how is a complete facade. 8D

So, in line with him making a fool of himself at the ball, he proceeds to make a fool of himself in front of Orlok, Nox, and Manet and, frankly, Noé.

Manet understandably wasn't expecting this information, but what's more interesting is that it confirms the fact that Vanitas really hadn't told Noé a thing after Gévaudan. The fact that he has now snapped and is telling everyone in the whole room shows just how affected he was. But what's also interesting is that he only starts to talk about this when there are other people. He couldn't just tell Noé himself. Perhaps because he thinks Noé won't have any advice?

And this is the definition of oversharing. XD Even Noé looks like he's wondering what on earth Vanitas is saying.

Honestly, this is more the kind of awkward, wildly inappropriate confession I might expect from Noé except that Noé would have the sense to only say something like this to someone he trusts, like when he told Dominique he thought Vanitas's blood smelled good. Still not the most tactful thing, but a whole lot better than describing, in some detail, the torrid affair you're having to a room full of people you barely know. 8D

As a side note, this pretty much confirms what I was saying in my last meta: Vanitas didn't enjoy Jeanne drinking his blood previously, at least not all that much. This time he did, and that definitely shows a shift in their relationship. As for how all of that works, it could be because Jeanne is fonder of him as well. Perhaps a vampire's toxin is in tune with that kind of thing? Unfortunately, we just don't know enough at this point to say.

Regardless, it means that when Vanitas went on that long rant to Jeanne in chapter 12 about how great it felt when she drank his blood and how they were definitely compatible, was yet more lying. It's kind of, possibly, true now though, hence his freakout.

Anyway, Orlok and co. decided Vanitas's "emergency" really wasn't that much of an emergency and they were understandably kicked out. I like that they were apparently very careful with Murr and included some treats for him as well. They really do love that cat. Knowing what we kind of know about Murr now I have to wonder: is this some kind of elaborate manipulation...?

But Noé, apparently still taking Vanitas's malady very seriously despite all that weird stuff about Jeanne, is not content with being kicked out.

I suppose the point here is that, despite knowing what Vanitas said was improper, he still isn't quite catching the gravity of things, and he's still convinced Vanitas is dying rather than having an existential breakdown over love.

Meanwhile, Vanitas is walking around in a haze in Paris, thinking about Jeanne, her smile, and the promise he made her. We get a look at his face, and I think it actually gives some pretty solid insight into what he's thinking:

He clenches his fist, his face is flushed, and he looks worried, distressed. The problem here isn't just that he cares about someone and doesn't know how to deal with it. No, it's actually much worse than that: he cares about someone and he promised he'd kill her if she ever lost herself and Vanitas, cursed with a certain understanding of just how bad things can get, knows he might actually have to keep this promise, a promise he may now regret making.

So, he's flustered because he cares, frightened because he cares, but also terrified because he knows things can only go badly from here. And, more than anything else, he knows he might actually be in love.

It only makes sense he'd think of Noé's original question here. It's not just that Noé is the one who's been trying to figure all this out (not Vanitas), but Vanitas knows Noé is the reason he's gotten into this much "trouble" in the first place. Opening up, caring about people, making promises he might not be able to keep... He is definitely blaming Noé for all of that. I wouldn't be surprised if he finds a way of blaming Noé for his romantic entanglement as well, which may be the actual reason he's avoided talking to Noé: he blames him, but he's also supremely embarrassed.

And in the midst of all this confusion and pain who is added to the picture? None other than our one and only Roland!

I think that might be my favorite image of the whole chapter. XD

Earlier in this meta I mentioned that we almost learn more about Roland in this chapter than anyone else, and it's thanks to Vanitas's exchange with him that we do!

The first thing we learn about Roland is something we've already had inklings of in earlier chapters: he's far more tactful and calculative than he would have people believe. He refers to Vanitas as "Vincent" and says Olivier is his coworker. Immediately, he has established that, for one, he's very good with details. He remembers exactly how Vanitas introduced himself and Noé when they first met. Furthermore, he knows Vanitas likely doesn't want to get further entangled in chasseur affairs, so he lets him know that he isn't with a random friend: this is someone potentially dangerous to Vanitas.

Not that it does much good because Vanitas isn't exactly thinking clearly.

This one, singular statement from Olivier is surprisingly revealing! I'd had a headcanon that Roland has had past relationships and it turns out that is absolutely true. Apparently, Olivier not only knows about them, he doesn't care, provided Roland isn't out and about doing anything else. He doesn't say what, specifically, because Vanitas is there, but we already know he's worried about what Roland is doing with the chasseurs and whether he's going to betray the Church. Not so much because he thinks Roland is wrong, exactly, but because he doesn't want any trouble for himself.

These two have an odd relationship. XD Olivier clearly understands the way Roland is, accepts it even, but he draws the line at Roland dragging everyone else into his schemes, hence why he offered to buy Vanitas the coffee in the first place.

Anyway, Vanitas ignores all that because Olivier brought up the only subject he cares about and wants advice on: women.

This is my other favorite image from this chapter. His face is the perfect encapsulation of "What are you doing? I was just trying to get you out of trouble and now you're sitting down? You're going to stay?!" The fixed grin, the panic. This is a thing of beauty.

Naturally, things only get more awkward because that's just the trajectory Vanitas has set for himself in this chapter.

I also just want to point out that the smoking, the string of relationships, the casual dining, the flying, the actual job, all point to Roland being a fair amount older than Noé and Vanitas. Probably mid-20s about? I'm sure that he and Olivier are the same age, regardless, though potentially from different class backgrounds. Olivier is decked out in aristocratic garb and Roland is dressed for flying. That doesn't necessarily mean he's poorer, but the impression I get from him is that he's probably middle class at most. I think there was an extra that mentioned he supports his siblings? I'm not sure now.

Anyway, after those 15 minutes of awkward rambling, Vanitas finally gets around to the question he's been meaning to ask. Apparently, Roland knows all about it.

There's kind of a lot to cover in those three images. Roland has not only had past relationships, he's had several. Judging by Olivier's remark, they've all been remarkably short. One has to wonder if we're talking one-night-stand kind of short or it-lasted-for-a-week-before-my-preaching-became-too-much kind of short. Maybe Mochizuki will enlighten us someday. XD

But the most interesting thing is how hesitant Roland is to discuss Olivier's relationships and how Olivier doesn't even deign Vanitas's question with an answer. Yes, he's popular, but no, he's not going to talk about who he's with and neither is Roland. When Roland says "I'm one thing, but Olivier...?" it could mean a few things: he thinks it makes sense for himself to be "promiscuous" but the thought of Olivier being the same is impossible. Personally, I find this the most likely for now. Alternatively, it's one thing to casually discuss his own affairs, but gossiping about a friend goes against his code of honor and Vanitas is kind of asking a personal question. There is also a third possibility that Roland can't imagine Olivier with a woman. Olivier's popular, but he's not interested. Naturally, Roland wouldn't announce that to the world and it isn't particularly relevant to Vanitas's question anyway.

Whatever the reason, it subtly demonstrates how well the two know each other.

Vanitas finally gets to the heart of things, and it fits in with what I thought happened:

This really was the first time Vanitas saw Jeanne for who she was, as an actual person, and not just someone he can mess with. Before that particular moment, he truly knew nothing of Jeanne. Now, he's finally had a glimpse of her actual personality and it's incredibly genuine, forthright, and strong. Of course, now that he sees that, how can he not find her at least a little appealing? And how can he not now be forced to reckon with his past behavior? He was horrid, there's no getting around it. Regret isn't something Vanitas handles well along with, apparently, emotions in general. Hence his next dilemma:

And at long last, Noé is finally seeing what the problem actually is. He didn't piece it together at Orlok's, but he's now hearing it from Vanitas directly. It's no wonder Noé surreptitiously sits away so he can listen. This whole time he's been wanting Vanitas to explain things to him, not just about the cold, but about love as well.

Roland is trying to be helpful here but, let's be honest, Vanitas is dropping a lot on him out of the blue, so I think it's understandable that he's a little confused right now.

And we finally get to the heart of the whole thing: Vanitas thinks he's a disgusting person. Someone like Jeanne definitely shouldn't love him because the only kind of person who could love him is someone who is as awful as he is and he's now been confronted with the fact that maybe Jeanne isn't. There relationship has a ton of issues, don't get me wrong, but Vanitas isn't seeing that; he's seeing that Jeanne has been kind to him, seems to care about him, and that definitely isn't the kind of person who would love him. Not genuinely.

The whole thing gets even more confusing if we take into account that his decidedly romantic moment with Jeanne reminded him of VotBM. They weren't having a romantic moment, but the discussion of affection, of hugs, were directly intertwined. Until we know more about VotBM I can't say if she was motherly or if things were decidedly more questionable there, but Vanitas must have gotten his twisted ideas about relationships from someone. Did VotBM have a bad relationship with someone? Did his past trauma simply color everything else in his life?

Olivier and Roland are understandably concerned, but it's Noé here that really stands out. He's pieced something together about Vanitas and now understands him a little bit better. After each arc, he and Vanitas have had a small conversation that brings them closer, but so far they haven't had that in this particular arc. My guess is it will be in the next chapter or the one after (since this one was labeled "part 1") and the arc will be wrapped up for good. There is, genuinely, a lot of stuff they need to cover about Gévaudan, Vanitas's relationship with Jeanne, and what they're doing next. There's also the small matter of Noé's injuries....

So, these two are going to have a lot to cover and Roland knows that right now, what Vanitas needs, is someone to talk to that he properly trusts. I almost wonder if he timed his dramatic God speech just so Noé could chase after him to begin with.

This really reads as "Go to him, Gilbert" and that amuses me.

Roland knew Noé was there the whole time (he's observant as we've mentioned) and he knows he and Vanitas have a powerful bond. He himself was inspired so much by it he changed his views on vampires completely. So, logically, he knows Noé needs to talk to Vanitas.

But Roland's motivations are still a bit harder to describe.

This much makes sense. The fact that he's had a string of lovers and doesn't seem particularly dejected by his constant breakups makes it obvious he wasn't particularly attached to any of them. He speaks about love as if he knows what it is, but he's never been that invested in a person to our knowledge. The only person we've seen him spend any length of time with is Olivier and they have a complicated relationship at best. Are we to assume he at least has an attachment to him? He threatened him before, but he also seems fond of him, and Olivier at least seems comfortable around Roland in turn.

And yet, Roland speaks of attachment as if it's a foreign thing to him. We know he has family, we know he has Olivier, he even has God, but like Olivier said: he believes in himself as a follower of God more than God Himself. Perhaps it's best said that the only thing we really know about Roland is that he's confident in himself, his own morals and beliefs.

And I think that's how Vanitas fits into Roland's worldview to a certain extent. Vanitas is a project of sorts: Roland wants to save him, very much in the religious and physical sense, and he knows Vanitas is in danger every day at least physically. Perhaps he worries for his soul as well, not necessarily that he's going to Hell, but that he has lost himself and could "shatter" at any moment.

Oddly, Noé isn't brought up in this conversation whatsoever even though the person Roland showers with blatant affection is Noé, not Vanitas. This could very likely be because he knows Vanitas isn't receptive to that kind of thing; it's a tactic that works great with Noé, but definitely not with his companion and Roland is above all a calculative person.

And that's all I've got for now! I do like that Roland and Olivier dropped their serious conversation about an actual Vampire Eradication Unit to deal with Vanitas's love life. That's pretty supportive. XD Also, there's a Vampire Eradication Unit that Gano is a part of and if that isn't one of the main plot points of the next arc it will be soon enough.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing how Jeanne handled things. It looks like she's done at least moderately better than Vanitas, but most people would. XD

#vanitas no carte #vnc meta #vnc spoilers #Bemused's post #long post

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nanabbi · 4 years

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What would you say are your art inspirations? When did you start drawing, was it as a child or more recently? I really enjoy your work on Skyless Town and your fandom inspired work too. Your use of light, shading, and some of the special details that you put in the backgrounds, clothes, and the hair and faces of your characters is so unique and really expressive. The colors really pop too. I'm not very knowledgeable about art, but it's really neat. I look forward to your next idea. Good luck!

I swear, I can talk about obscure things for forever, but as soon as I get a question about me, I short-circuit. Sorry for the wait! Here we go.

First of all, thank you for your sweet words on my work as a whole! I love adding details. I don’t know how to use colors! Lighting and shading are the powers I am working with, but color theory has gone over my head. No matter how many YouTube videos I watch about it, I still am not sure how to apply it. I’ll learn though! Thank you very much! 💚

My inspirations have varied through the years. Jun Mochizuki (Pandora Hearts, Study Case of Vanitas) I would say has been one of my biggest influences, because both her art style and writing really appeal to me. Other big inspirations have been CLAMP, Gabriel Picolo and Miyuli. I have had of course various other influences, but these are the ones that usually come to mind when people ask me.

I would also like to put Horikoshi in there, as a more recent addition. I was going through a huge art block before reading MHA. Because of how specifically Pandora Hearts had struck to my interests, it had affected my standards and it became harder for me to read manga. For years, I couldn’t pick a manga and read very far through it, my focus went out of the window within few pages. Then, in the boredom of the pandemic I picked My Hero Academia, and the art style seriously appealed to me? It could have been that I just hadn’t touched anything that clicked with me for a while, but I really loved the art style, and it reminded me the appeal of drawing comics. I remember actually going through the USJ arc and sort of having that moment of ‘Oh my god, this is it! This is what I love doing!’. I read up to 20ish chapters online then I ordered volumes 1-22 for my birthday. After that I was reading like 4 to 6 volumes in a day, which I haven’t managed to do since like… 2011. I have a lot of trouble focusing in general, so it was a kinda cathartic.

Well I went on tangent right there. My apologies.

I don’t know if they count as inspirations, but usually when I work, I have something play in the background. Usually a YouTuber, a series or a podcast. And of course, music. Music is always a wonderful inspiration (I love Musicals a lot, especially).

I have been drawing all my life, but I wouldn’t say I was serious about it, until after I joined DA in my late teens, and even more since I joined Tumblr. It was then that I started interacting with other artists, seeing tutorials and consciously putting effort into becoming better. Making my own comic was a dream of mine and I did all I could to make it reality. To this day I can’t remember ever feeling as happy as the day I got the physical version of the first chapter of Skyless Town in my hands. I really hope I can get back to working on it with new energy, soon. I am especially touched that you like the work on it.

Thank you once more for sweet words and encouragement! I can use all the luck you send my direction too, so thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day, and lots of luck in whatever you do! Take care! 💜💜💜

#ask #Anonymous #nananswers #personal

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disneydreamlights · 4 years

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Celeste because she's bae, and Annalee because Daughter Time nwn

ASH THERE’S SO MANY CONCERNING THINGS ABOUT THAT FIRST STATEMENT.

Full Name: Just Celeste. She did at one point have a last name but she abandoned it, seeing it as unnecessary. She also sometimes goes by Astra.

Gender and Sexuality: Cis girl and this is the one question my answer is “I don’t want to know”

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: human

Birthplace and Birthdate: Sumaru City. Her birthday is June 8th.

Guilty Pleasures: So I have to preface this that this is not normally a guilty pleasure but due to the fact that she thinks she has to abandon everything she once was to lead her cult properly, her attachment to her drawing and the comic she’d planned on making before she discovered Yaldabaoth are both guilty pleasures.

Phobias: Nothing she would admit. ;) (Also snakes)

What They Would Be Famous For: In an ideal world? It’d be for her art skills and comic since she’s really good. But uh...leading a cult is kinda...yeah.

What They Would Get Arrested For: HMM...it’s almost like she psychologically tormented people to recruit them to a cult I wonder...

OC You Ship Them With: no

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Of my own ocs Luca would like to strangle her in her sleep but let’s be real it’s Matt.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Superhero

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Not a cliche but in general the generic YA Dystopia novel genre and all the cliches associated with it tend to leave a bad taste in her mouth.

Talents and/or Powers: She’s great at art, and whether or not it’s good or not she is gifted at manipulation and making people see things her way.

Let me put it this way: Matt may have been the reason the Holy Grail grew so exponentially, but she’d still managed to recruit a good amount of members before she had him and there’s a reason for that.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Once they honestly get to know her if they do they’re probably too wrapped up in her beliefs to stand against her. It’s the only reason somebody could like her. She’s manipulative, abusive, and kinda a bitch.

Also I guess there’s kinda the people who don’t know she’s a cult leader who know her online like Luca, ig he likes her because when she’s not trying to recruit people to a cult she’s not a complete monster.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: See the above.

How They Change: Her character arc is definitely a fall from grace. She starts off as a young and aspiring comic artist who moves to Shibuya for a chance, has some bad luck, and just when all seems shit, she winds up in Yaldaboath’s distorted world but unlike everybody else there, she can see him right away. And the words he says make sense. Shibuya is rotten to the core. People don’t need free will, they’d be happier without it. When he dies, she resolves to bringing him back to awareness in the human subconscious so he can rise again and control Shibuya from below with her as his enforcer and the one spreading his word, and bit by bit she starts losing every aspect of herself until all that’s left of Celeste is a dedicated follower of Yaldabaoth and leader of a cult.

Why You Love Them: She’s an interesting character study for sure and her fall from naïve, struggling comic and fanartist to cult leader who’s entire identity and life’s goals are based around bringing back a false god who wants to take away all individuality and control the world and that’s interesting as hell. She’s interesting as hell.

-x-

Full Name: Annalee

Gender and Sexuality: Nonbinary, aro/ace

Pronouns: she/her or they/them. No real personal preference so it’s whatever other characters choose to use. (I use she/her in narration only because those were her initial pronouns since that’s one of the details that’s changed over the years.)

Ethnicity/Species: Unversed (It’s Complicated, and if it comes up in the profile I’ll explain otherwise nah)

Birthplace and Birthdate: Scala ad Caelum and N/A but when asked she insists it’s July 3rd

Guilty Pleasures: Every manga she ever read. She’s read some bad ones.

Phobias: Abandonment is probably her biggest fear but she’s got a pretty big list and some terrible anxiety.

What They Would Be Famous For: I know back when I used her for a DR rp she was a violinist so probably that but realistically for a lot of reasons (anxiety, discovery of her true nature, etc) she would choose to avoid the spotlight so...

What They Would Get Arrested For: I had to give this a lot of thought and more than likely? She completely ran away from something and her father “arrested” her as a cover to get her back home so as not to destroy world order or anything.

OC You Ship Them With: N/A

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Realistically if she loses the ability to maintain her rationality and her true form, Sky, Marina, or Landon could all be likely to take her out, probably Landon.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Rom Com Mangas (i.e. She’d love Fruits Basket) followed by adventure stories.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Love triangles (”I don’t get it why are they introducing another character she won’t end up with anyways! It’s stupid!”)

Talents and/or Powers: As a Keyblade Wielder Annalee has the standard array of ability to use Keyblade and everything that comes with it.

Because she is an Unversed given human form (tl:dr Vanitas experiences a happy emotion and creates an Unversed that’s powerful enough to maintain a human form when she so chooses, and she does often) she also has standard array of his powers. She can create or summon Unversed and have them help her in combat. If they or she get too hurt, she can no longer sustain them and they vanish instead to sustain her. (Her favorite is her Archraven)

Why Someone Might Love Them: Well first of all she’s honestly adorable in her naivety, and she tries incredibly hard to be liked. Her heart is always in the right place even despite the darkness that makes her up and she’s kind. Insanely kind.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Well for one Vanitas is like her pseudo-father so anybody with a grudge against him...there’s also the fact that if she loses control or gets too much darkness exposure she’ll turn into her true Unversed form and go on a rampage. And also her social anxiety does make her panic often or say the wrong thing.

How They Change: In character, she becomes more confident, self assured, and better at controlling her darkness to the point that all transformations are at will.

But honestly tracking her ooc changes is more fun because full confession, she was originally a Vanqua love child I had no choice but to back off of because of some things in the rp I first used her in and I liked the second version so much I decided to keep it.

Why You Love Them: She’s one of my oldest ocs, and I’m very proud of how far she’s come as a character. Also I’m not gonna lie I may look at some of the Unversed stuff and go “wow other KH fans will probably find that cringey” but I’m having fun with all of it and I think above all else that’s what matters.

#Heather rps #Heather Answers #lup-laguz

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daybreak-academy-fanfic · 4 years

Text

Daybreak Academy: Chapter 47

Cabin Fever Sets In Early

Summary: In which Brain makes his opinions on Anora abundantly clear. Word Count: 1,922 First | Previous | Next ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

None of the kids looked like they wanted to be up at this unholy hour. But, for once, neither did the adults. Of the twelve of them, Ventus and Ava were still in their pajamas. Gula, Brain, Skuld and Strelitzia were dressed in clothes more suited for traveling, like sweatpants and loose t-shirts. Anora, Aced, and Ephemer made the attempt to wear actual clothes, but still looked like they had just gotten out of bed. This left only Lauriam, Ira, and Invi looking like they were ready for the day as usual. And then there was Shelby, who happily trotted beside Ava despite the risk of being stepped on.

In fact, Ira almost did step on Shelby as the Unicornis headmaster was trying to carry someone's luggage into the bus. Suffice to say, he was not amused.

“Ava,” he impatiently demanded the next time he saw her, “You have to put that thing in a cage before we leave.”

“But Shelby's fine.” she pouted. Ira rubbed his temple in frustration. It was way too early to be having arguments like this, let alone when he was the one set to drive.

“He hissed at Aced earlier.” he informed her, bitterly, in an attempt to get her to see his way. It didn't work in the slightest.

“So?” the Vulpes headmaster immediately questioned. “I'd hiss at Aced too if he was being rude to me!”

“He started it!” Aced shouted from somewhere behind the bus. “Stupid thing was trying to trip me!”

To further prove the point, Shelby -who was casually standing by Ava's ankles until then- hissed at the remark. Ira didn't even bother hiding his unnerved eye roll while Ava gave a bemused giggle.

“Can't believe I ever dated that...” Ira grumbled under his breath, but stopped himself from finishing. Instead, he then started to shout, loud enough to be heard from the dorms; “Alright! Everyone on the bus! We're losing daylight now!”

There was a small chorus of groans from the kids, too exhausted to be truly responsive to anything yet that morning. But they all started to make their way onto the bus regardless. Anora was second in line, and she sheepishly shuffled her way to one of the middle rows. Behind her, Ventus was quick to find a spot near the front.

“Hey Ven,” Ephemer mused as he passed the younger boy, “You have a brother, don't you? Why didn't you ask him to come along on the trip?”

For a moment, the youngest of the group looked like Ephemer had verbally assaulted him.

“Vanitas doesn't… like other people. Very much.” he quietly said, trying to avoid Ephemer's gaze.

“Ah, maybe next time!” the older boy smiled. Ven still didn't look at him. Giving a small shrug to the younger's reluctance, Ephemer moved on back to where Anora was sitting.

“Mind if I sit with you?” he asked. Anora looked up at him, raised a suspicious eyebrow, but nodded in agreement. Ephemer sure was more relaxed this morning than he had been for the past few weeks.

“Speaking of bringing along guests,” Gula mused from the back row, directing his attention to Aced, who was sitting two rows in front of him, “Why didn't you invite Ms. April, Aced?”

The Ursus headmaster immediately flinched before turning his body around to face Gula. “W-why would I do that?” he stuttered.

“Oh, I don't know.” the cheeky headmaster mused. “You two had gotten pretty close recently, so I was curious.”

Aced looked Gula over with a critical eye- trying to figure out what game the youngest headmaster was playing at. “If you must know, April and Anastasia are going to visit April's parents.” Aced then told him in a very certain tone.

“And you didn't join them?”

“W-well I did ask, if she wanted me to join them.” Aced stammered. “But, but she insisted that it was still too early in our relationship for me to meet her parents.”

“Oh really? How interesting...”

“How is that interesting?!”

“Oh, never mind...” Gula teasingly hummed as he got himself more comfortable. If it was meant to comfort Aced, it sure as fire didn't work.

“Are we all here?” Ira then questioned, making use of the bus's intercom system. It was Invi who did the head count and gave him a nod.

“Looks like it.” she agreed.

“Then let's get this show on the road.” Ira decided, turning on the bus's engine and smoothly guiding it out of Daybreak Drive.

Ventus had gone back to sleep the moment the bus started moving. He laid out on the bus's bench seat with a pillow at his head and his jacket as a makeshift blanket. His soft snoring could be heard if you got close enough, but no one wanted to disturb him. He was soon followed by Strelitzia, who had propped a pillow against the cold window, drifting off to sleep with the motion of the bus. Lauriam happened to look over at his sister and smiled. He then went through their suitcases to find a blanket for her. As Lauriam placed the blanket over his sister, she shifted a bit but did not stir, causing him to grin even more. He made himself a bit more comfortable before also going to sleep.

Skuld and Brain had decided to sit next to each other, both making idle chit-chat over the notes and questions they had at the last Dandelion meeting. Ephemer had pulled out one of his textbooks, Anora was curious enough to read over his shoulder, to which he did not stop her. Ava was lightly fussing over Shelby as she tried to keep the turtle on the bus's bench seat when all he wanted to do was explore. Invi looked like she had gone back to sleep, with her back against the bus window and her eyes closed, but she would occasionally mumble something to herself -something that sounded a lot like names of the teachers still at Daybreak during the summer- that made it clear that she was still trying to keep mental track of school security.

But it was still way too early in the morning to be awake. Anora gave up the battle eleven minutes after the bus left school grounds. She let out a long yawn as she laid her head down on Ephemer's shoulder. The girl was asleep before she even realized what she had done. Ephemer was quick to realize it, though, and did nothing to move her. Instead, he moved a bit to make it a bit easier for her before he laid his head on top of hers. A calm smile crossed his lips as he continued to read through his textbook. There was nothing more in this world that made you forget your worries than a long bus ride, and someone who made you feel happy resting on your shoulder.

. . .

Anora did not sleep for very long- waking up just an hour after she had gone to sleep. There was much more light outside than what there had been when they had first started. Ira was still driving the bus, and as she looked around, she found that only Brain and Invi were still awake. Brain looked to be playing some card game by himself and Invi had her back to the bus window, with one leg crossed on the bench and the other dangling off, while reading a rather steamy looking novella. Skuld had moved places, though, sitting in the bench behind Brain with her legs pulled up to her as she leaned her side onto the back of the bus bench.

Gula had moved places too, taking the spot next to Ava. He had gone to sleep with his head in Ava's lap. Ava herself was also asleep now, her head resting against the bus's window. Her fingers were intertwined in Gula's hair, as if she had been gently stroking him before drifting off. Shelby, much to the turtle's annoyance, had been placed in his cage.

“Anora.” Brain's voice suddenly spoke up, surprising the girl for a moment. She looked up to see him standing in the aisle, a set of playing cards in his hands.

“Wanna play War with me?” Brain asked, playfully shuffling the cards. “Promise to go easy on you.”

There wasn't much thought put into it when she nodded her head. What else did they have to do? So Anora carefully started to get up, made sure not to wake Ephemer in doing do, before going over to the bus bench that Brain had been sitting in earlier.

“It's really simple- my grandfather taught it to me when I was three.” Brain then went on. “Aces are high and the suits don't matter. We both pick a card from our stack, whoever has the highest card takes both. If we happen to draw the same card, then we pick out three cards at random, flip them over, and whoever has the highest total numerical count wins all eight cards. Still with me so far?”

Anora nodded, watching with a still groggy interest as Brain gave her ten cards to start with. The two played their game in relative silence after. Anora couldn't tell who was winning, her brain too sluggish from waking to even really care too know, but at some point she did start to notice that Brain kept staring at her. After they had been playing for ten minutes, she had to stop.

“Hmm? What's wrong?” the older boy casually questioned. “You were winning.”

Anora shook her head. Her face scrunched into an expression of conflict before quietly telling him, “You're staring at me.”

Brain raised an eyebrow. “Was I?” He then gave a callous raise and lower of his shoulder before saying, “Really didn't meant to, honestly. You're very… different. But at the same time, you don't stand out in the slightest. You're almost a walking contradiction.”

At this, Anora raised an eyebrow of confusion. Brain felt the need to explain himself further.

“Everyone here is either a headmaster or a Dandelion. Or related to one, in the case of Lauriam's sister. But you? You're no one. You shouldn't be here.”

A cold chill ran down Anora's spine. Brain looked up at her and took note of her paling expression. He leaned in close to Anora- his face held such a dark expression that Anora felt goosebumps growing on her arms.

“So, whose pants are you trying to get into?” he asked her. His voice was low and dark, while also not trying to raise suspicion from Ira or Invi. “Mine, Ephemer's, or Lauriam's? And if it's Ven's, then I'm sorry to say that I think the back exit on this bus is not locked properly. You should go check.”

Anora gaped at him in shock. He studied her, as if sizing Anora up, before coming to a certain conclusion.

“You are fascinating.” he decided in an expressionless tone. He sat up a bit straighter, bringing his focus back to the game. “So, is it my turn now, or yours? I lost track.”

Anora only looked at him. She eventually said, “Yours, I think.” before Brain gave a small nod and continued on like nothing had happened. But Anora had been put on edge. What on earth gave Brain that idea? Anora shuddered as a small breeze came in through the bus window; she didn't know, and she didn't want to know.

Too bad their summer only got weirder from there.

#daybreak academy #chapter 47 #kingdom hearts fanfiction #Ira #Ava #Ventus #Ephemer #Anora #Brain #Summer 2020 #Season 1

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true-intha-blu · 5 years

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I propose this simple Question

First: why I ask this. Since the infancy of the KH fandom all the way back from KH1, I noticed this simple trend one that picked up tremulously after kh2. No this has nothing to do with shipping. Also to note; I have genuine curiosity if anyone else notices this and this is from my perspective and experience with dealing with the Kingdom hearts fandom. Others may have very different accounts but others (that I have asked) have indeed noticed this as well in my own view. I am not aiming to stir up hate or discourse. I aim for peaceful fandoms. However, this subject is something I see no one ever addresses and well... maybe breaking a status quo or ‘unspoken rule’. I hope this can be a reasonable discussion where I can learn another perspective or some people may notice it and just go... “Oh yeah. That is a thing.” To which the question at hand. “Why does R*ku always have to be cool?”

(Disclaimer I do not hate this character. This question is not hateful. It is not anti or whatever. I mean exactly what I say. I will not be tagging this in the R*ku tab to prevent any misunderstandings. I ask others do the same. Anyone who reblogs this with hate is in no way associated with me.)

I will state the positive traits about R*ku. He has had the greatest character arc out of all the Kingdom Hearts Characters. A great redemption arc from his lowest to blooming into practically a whole new person in his own struggle against his KH1 self. He’s loyal to his friends. Smart. Gets along with Mickey and Yen Sid. Mellow. Saved Kairi and Sora. Knows what he has done. He’s honest and shares his concerns with others. Since KH2 he has always been trying to help Sora in the best of his ability. In acknowledgment of his misdeeds in CoM and Days is very good and we see a character who has genuinely f’d-up and his trying his best to move past that by helping his friends despite the limited resources offered to him. ^These are very good traits for a character to have. Any character. Besides his one time self in KH1, what else is there to him? What can be addressed as a flaw or criticism of him? (I approach characters as even though a character goes through a development arc, does not mean they are void of flaws. No one works like that. Not characters or actual people.) I say this. I love Sora and Vanitas in the Kingdom Hearts fandom. However, I am not afraid to draw them doing stupid or silly things and point out they have various of unfavorable flaws. Sora is utterly dense and I hate the fact how he was portrayed in DDD but I accept it and I will drag him along pointing out that fact. It is part of his character. He’s a dork (and not always in a good way). He impulsive and is kinda a mess of a human being. He's stubborn in the worse ways and volatile. Vanitas appears to be on the surface a straight up evil villain. As far as the games go, he is just utterly vile in his contempt for the characters and his actions have brought suffering and misery to various of characters. (though there may be other traits that could set for his own arc) (I still love them both) But note how none of these flaws listed above are ‘endearing’ or even remotely positive. They are problems, that hinder the characters and those around them. These are persistent traits even though both Sora and Vanitas have mellowed. Sora far more than Vanitas. I just do not see this done with R*ku. I rarely (they do exist but in comparison to the likes of Sora, Org XIII, even foretellers, or Roxas [who could be compared to be as “badass” as R*ku], its rarely ever there) I don’t see anyone talking about Riku doing dumb stuff. Being silly or being the butt of a joke or just not, not being good. Example of the latter: When there was talk about Sora cooking in KH3, rarely did I see that, ‘oh, Sora learns how to cook and becomes very good at it’ and most I see ‘R*ku is already a fabulous cook’.... what about Kairi? What about even Lea? Aqua? There is no mention of these other characters being good at cooking. R*ku is usually A.) always the cooler looking one, or must be made to look cooler and B.) always be the better or best at something. I know that is kinda the thing in KH, that R*ku is talented and gifted as a person. As for the coolness factor, Nomura does this as well. Sora gets a keyblade, R*ku gets an edgier cooler keyblade with more details. Riku gets the powers of both light and darkness. R*ku gets the Keyblade Master title. R*ku gets actual growth in his body. He gets the more competent companion (Mickey). I am not saying these things are detractions or upsetting, they are just there and be defacto, cooler than other characters. He becoming edgier and emo was a good play on Normura because back in early 2005′s people thought that was cool and hot. Silver hair is automatically an attractive trait and western audiences love a person with a muscled body like R*ku’s. I don’t blame fans for being appealed to his character. But I suppose I am getting off-topic. Why do fans keep feeling compelled to make R*ku perfect? When people make fanart of him like say a monster form or pirate outfit, they always make it more detailed, edgier or just cooler than anyone else who would be drawn that way. He always looks more impressive than an original canonical design when other characters are drawn or written in ways that are not as impressive or equally the same to a canonical design/form/power. Has the cool wolf animal companion or the cooler weapon, the more detailed designs etc etc Even Axel who is a badass assassin can be silly or dumb-looking. Heck, they even did that in games. They made Axel failed and acknowledge it. I see Aqua who is awesome in design and badass moments, be criticized for her flaws that persist and others who wish to see her have more moments of weakness even with what we have seen in 0.2 Xion who has had a great arc in Days (Character arcs don’t always have to be a positive development) doesn’t get the coolness factor. Roxas who is probably the second most popular character still is known as a goofy boy who thought he could fight heartless off with a stick. That’s hilarious. The most notable thing about R*ku recently that wasn’t cool or badass or edgy was his infamous “WHAT?” response to Mickey in Kh3. And that was one thing. Only really that. But how Mickey worded it, anyone would have done the same. And I noticed that people use what Mickey said “Aqua is like Sora’ is a way to poke fun at Sora by implying that Aqua is like a dense 15 year old. (Again these are just observations I have made over a decade worth watching the Kh fandom). In talks with other people who are Sora stans or other stans, there is nothing but a lot of talk about R*ku being really good about things. Being superior to Sora, or Kairi, or Aqua and Terra. Over Roxas. Giving Axel two keyblades is never done, but people have given two to R*ku. I get it, people who love characters like to do so much with them. I do the same. I just... never seem to regard the characters I love as perfect as others see R*ku. Also... I just don't see anyone criticizing him (I mean criticism in actual acknowledgment of his character and not hating on said character). Or taking about traits or flaws that are not endearing “He cares too much about his friends” is not really that bad of a flaw in consideration. A lot of people would prefer to have that over say... anger issues. What about the fact he falls back into following the orders of others or doesn’t often decide things for himself?... What about Minor flaws? I just never see them in regards to these characters. Alright, so these are my observations I have made over... 14+ years of watching this fandom. And I want to ask, why do fans see him as such? Besides the only reason being for them is “I like him.” Has it just become such a normal thing to make R*ku better? Is he really that good of a character than he is so universally loved? Or is the backlash of actually criticizing R*ku and seeing that maybe, making him too perfect is... not doing favors for him? An arc is just that, an arc. Doesn’t mean a character is perfect or done with. Doesn’t mean those flaws that persisted in him, are gone. Make your favorite character silly, or doing something very dumb (that does not even have to do with shipping), or put forth of what you would like to see improve in this character or express more about their flaws and their struggles. I love pointing out the negative traits in all my characters because I like seeing their struggle and how that makes them interact with new nuances in other characters. Maybe it's a running joke that R*ku is ‘Mr Perfect’ in the Kh fandom and I am just not seeing it. But it's daunting and just kinda rubs me the wrong way that all these characters in Kingdom Hearts have so many nuances to them and the one who has the best character arc so far in KH is regarded as... ‘Perfect’ I would like to know your opinion and if anyone else who is not a R*ku stan notice this, or is it just me and my own personal bias? (anything said above is in no way should ever be used to promote hate against R*ku or even bash him. In no way, I want to make others hate R*ku. I do not blame people who love this character to portray him in a superior way over everyone else. My address is that I just see this all the time. And I was wondering... why is it so widespread? Not even Axel who has a great redemption arc gets this.) (also another things is the whole sexgod R*ku that is also about however that may go into shipping and that I will not poke a stick at)

#kingdom hearts #character development #just a question #i wish to hear opinions #no bashing #no character hate #fuck antis #fuck character bashing #be mature people #positive and supportive enviroment

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kiddomhearts · 5 years

Text

Ordinary Days

Summary: An ordinary day for the Hart Family. AO3 link

“Although my heart may be weak, it’s not alone. It’s grown with each new experience, and it’s found a home with all the friends I’ve made.”

“Be back by lunch!”

Sora quickly scampered down the steps, Xion and Roxas on his heels with goodbyes of their own. It was a race to see who would reach the corner first. Sora’s win streak had been going strong for the past three days but he knew his siblings could easily win if he wasn’t careful.

Of course, at that moment Roxas reached the corner first with Xion in a close second. He swore his siblings could teleport sometimes.

“Yeah Rox!” Xion cheered while their brother gave a tiny, but smug, smile. Sora stuck his tongue out but relented and handed over the gummiphone they shared between the three of them. Vanitas had pitched a fit that they had gotten one when he hadn’t gotten one until he was at least eight. But the triplets were much more outgoing than he had been at their age, their father had pointed out, so gummiphone it is.

Never mind that the triplets were technically supposed to keep together and that splitting up defeated the whole purpose of them sharing the phone.

With a quick wave, the triplets split down their respective paths. Sora was excited for the day ahead of him it was a Beach Day! Everyday was Beach Day except for Hospital Days, School Days, Party Days—well, most days were Beach Days. But this Beach Day was special because Namine was finally allowed out of the house!

What a perfect morning!

“Best friends are supposed to be honest with each other!”

“Aw, c’mon Rox! Lighten up a bit, it’ll be fine.”

Roxas leveled his best disbelieving stare at Lea. Too bad the redhead was too busy setting up his glowworm pile to notice. He tried not to give a weary sigh, he really did! He didn’t want to be mistaken for Isa after all who had already sighed for the fifth time just that second. But Lea made it hard not to sometimes.

“I don’t think Roxas believes you,” Xion commented distractedly. Her hands were already busy with her newest project (matching crochet scarves for the four of them) so she wasn’t really paying attention to them in the slightest.

Lea turned around dramatically, hand placed on his heart. “Oh Roxas, how you wound me! Do any of you have any faith in your old friend?”

“No,” Isa responded flatly. Roxas couldn’t very well verbally agree with Isa so he settled for glaring extra hard.

Then the smell hit him.

“Lea, is that lighter fluid?” Isa sharply asked. Xion’s head snapped up, throwing her project into her bag and scrambling away from the blast radius. Roxas had already put five feet between the glowworm monstrosity at the unfamiliar smell and put in an extra five at the name of the culprit.

“No?” Lea chuckled weakly. The matchbox in his hand wavered.

“Lea no.”

“Lea yes.”

Roxas wondered if Ienzo had any plans for before noon as he left the soon-to-be crime scene.

“You’re both my best friends.”

“Ta-da! What do you think?”

Xion clapped her hands together in amazement as Kairi showed off her latest friendship bracelet. It was a pink and white crocheted thing that resembled a mit more than a bracelet. But Kairi was still learning and they knew that any of her friends would wear it with pride anyway.

“It’s a bit wide,” Namine laughed. Kairi pouted and stuck out her tongue but couldn’t keep up her expression as they all descended into giggles. Xion was glad that Kairi and Namine decided to stick around after lunch. It was a shame that Aqua couldn’t be there too.

Dusk gave a soft bark from where he laid at Xion’s feet, tail wagging a staccato beat against the floor. Xion reached down to pet his head, earning a few licks in return. She’d have to walk him soon.

“And done.” Namine sat back and clutched her sketchbook to her chest. They waited patiently for the blonde to show off her latest work, knowing she was notoriously shy about it. The wait proved fruitful when she finally turned the sketchbook around to them.

The drawing was of Xion, Kairi, and Namine, all done in the finest crayons hand-me-downs and couch cushions could buy. They were holding hands at the beach with smiles on their faces. Although…

“Why am I in a coat?” Xion questioned. Namine shrugged. It had just seemed right at the time.

A nudge at her foot was all the warning she could get before Vanitas poked his head in from down the hall. He seemed surprised, probably not expecting the visitors. He picked up Flood as the irritable rabbit hopped back to him with his mission accomplished.

“Hey, uh… keep it down in here, okay?” And with that, he left just as quickly. Xion figured that wasn’t what her brother wanted to say but Kairi and Namine made him uncomfortable. He’ll come to her later though.

Packing things up, Xion went to grab the leash for Dusk. It only took a few moments before they were ready and out the door. Chatting among themselves, they kept close to the shaded areas as they met up with Sora and Riku.

It was a nice afternoon walk.

“Hmph, it’s always about your friends, isn’t it?”

“Cut it out, I know you’re hungry.”

Flood honked at that, already in the deserted kitchen and parked right next to the fruit bowl. Hareraiser was running circles around Vanitas and forcing him to take careful steps unless he wanted to trip. He would glare at the insufferable rodents but it had long since had an effect.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you little lump of evil,” he muttered. Flood huffed at that but at least Hareraiser had stopped. They both stared expectedly at him as he grabbed a banana. Quickly peeling and breaking off half of it, he grabbed a butter knife (stupid Ven and his stupid safety rules) and divide the half into little pieces. The smaller pile then went into Flood’s bowl while the larger bile went into Hareraiser’s bowl.

Flood gave him the stink eye but he rolled his eyes at that. The little rat could sulk all he wanted, he wasn’t getting his favorite today. (Because Vanitas had forgotten to add strawberries to the grocery list last week.) But oh how his tune changed when Hareraiser gave his bowl an experimental sniff.

Rabbits situated, Vanitas sat down at the empty kitchen table. It had been a boring day with Ven not around except for lunch. But even that was awkward since Ven’s ‘besties’ (barf) had tagged along. He had hid stayed in his room for the most part.

It was warm in here, he realized. Had someone turned off the AC? Probably Xion, she was all about going green or whatever it was. Or Ven, he was always the responsible one… Maybe Roxas, he was…

A soft but firm nip jolted him back to awareness. He had slumped a bit onto the table as he had begun to nod off. Flood sat attentively at his heels, the nipper in question, while Hareraiser had hopped into his lap. A glance at the clock showed that he was only out for a few minutes at most.

Scratching Flood then Hareraiser (between the eyes and down the back, respectively), he stood up and headed for his room. At least if he fell asleep in there, he’d have his bed. But he already knew he was going to be up for at least a couple of hours, feeling refreshed even with that small nap.

At least it was a quiet evening.

“At least I have some!”

“Look, look! A shooting star!”

Ventus hopped around excitedly, too wired from his short nap earlier to properly peer through the telescope. Aqua and Terra chuckled at his antics as they had already expected this. Eraqus had turned in for the night a while ago.

The picnic blanket beneath them was soft when Ven finally tired and flopped down onto it. His eyes were still trained above him though. Meteor showers, while not common, still seemed to happen unnaturally often on the shores of Destiny Islands.

He could hear the far off sounds of Sora’s shrieking laughter and the faint splashes from the tiny wavepools that Xion and Roxas were exploring. It was a shame that Vanitas didn’t stay for longer. But he knew how shy (no matter how much his brother denied it) his brother was. He’d bet that Vanitas was already holed up in his room at home with those spoiled (another thing his brother denied) rabbits of his.

A faint brush across his head had him tilting his head back. Aqua smiled at him, continuing brushing her hand through his hair, and he grinned in return. Terra mumbled something off to the side and Ventus bet that he had already somehow messed up the telescope settings in those five seconds.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Aqua asked rhetorically. Ventus just nodded at that, not wanting to break the calm mood. It was Terra’s increasingly frustrated cries that eventually had them leaving their nice spot.Within moments, Aqua had the telescope sorted out.

“I tried that.”

“Obviously not.”

“It’s like a bunch of dandelions,” Ventus interrupted, looking back up at the night sky. The two blinked and then looked at each other with fond expressions. Ventus had a soft spot for the plants, even going so far as to have a special spot for them in his little garden in the back of his house. But…

“They’re still weeds Ven,” Terra teased, Aqua shaking her head.

Before he could reply, there was a sharp whistle that cut through the air before the sky lit up further. With colors this time. The two conspicuously absent troublemakers were found not far down the beach, especially as Isa’s roar filled the air.

“LEA!”

Another ordinary night for another ordinary day.

#kingdom hearts #ventus #vanitas #sora #roxas #xion #kiddom hearts #fics #((snippet to show the general feel of the au))

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