#and some things were contradictory
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Made that Sri Lankan egg curry from the Tik Tok. I have some complaints about how the recipe was written but it looks/smells pretty good!
#my post#def didn't need to add the whole can of coconut milk#and some things were contradictory#but we made it work#i also added a red bell pepper because we had a ripe one in the garden
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We should talk more about the fact Jason got swarmed and attacked by a mob as Robin, like??? Hello. He had to be left there because the mob was too violent with Batman near. He had to be taken to the hospital.





Look at those injuries!!
The next time we see him he's forcing himself out of bed and putting on the Robin costume thinking "I've gotta do what I can to help, even if it kills me!"
The next next time we see him he has walked into yet another violent mob
I cannot stop thinking about this story and the effects it probably had on him honestly. Do you think it's made him nervous in crowds, do you think it made him trust others just that bit less. How long do you think he was being attacked before he was found, the scene had cleared. "I've gotta do what I can to help, even if it kills me!",,,,
Just the concept itself! I don't know about you guys but being attacked and grabbed and trampled into unconsciousness sounds absolutely terrifying! Did he black out, still getting hit, thinking he was going to die? Knowing he couldn't defend himself as his injuries to took their toll? At their complete mercy?





1986-87 Legends, issue #2 (the attack), #3 (the hospital), #5 (getting up), #6 (defending heros from another forming mob)
2010 DC Universe: Legacies, issue #6 (flashback panel to Legends moment)
#jason todd#jaybin#jason todd robin#comic reference#we need to talk about and acknowledge this so much more its such a fun bit of information n backstory#and i honestly think its a REALLY IMPORTANT jaybin moment. both for him and readers#batman#dc comics#i never see anyone talk about it which is such a shame honestly#fairly confident this is post crisis jaybin. but of course we are in the evil gray area of actually post crisis - before new backstory#but gonna be honest with you guys here i and actual dc writers take from precrisis jaybin alot anyway because he IS still jason#and adds more original comic time for jason#as long at its not like blatantly contradictory i keep a rather lot of his things#and again we are in the grey area of it#plus he calls himself the new robin in the hospital scene so that probably means something#and none of it at all matters anyway because when it comes to comics you do what you want for forever. thumbs up emoji#this is still important anyway. the āive gotta help even if it kills me!ā haunts me#dare i say i wish we talked more about jaybin time in general. like. the stories from it#all i usually hear is ditf and him pushing or not pushing that guy. its a shame i think jaybin has some really fun stories#i think (i think) scarecrow and mad hatter were rogues he faced the most. DEFINITELY scarecrow#two face too if im counting the mad hatter. +plus importance bc twoface he thought killed his dad#he lets himself be kidnapped by two face saying hes the SECOND robin and then insults the guys car#he dresses up as two face once#he saw scarecrow making highly concentrated fear toxin and dumped it on him š#sherlock holmes was in a story at some point#its so fun. augh i need to reread jaybin so so bad its so fun i miss it
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i try to be quiet about this and just let people enjoy things but holy shit i wish people weren't so evangelical about astrology. and part of what makes it so frustrating is that it's something i want to like and have put effort into trying to like it because it's honestly really interesting to me as a concept. i'm not the most knowledgeable about it, but i know more than a layperson knows about it.
i call it evangelical because i see so many parallels between the way some people interact with astrology and evangelical christianity. the big ones are, if it doesn't make sense or work out for you it's because of a flaw within yourself, never the system (you have to read the bible in this way, with this context, with this interpretation, you have to pray to god to open your heart, did you actually read with an open heart? -> you have to look at your rising sign, you have to check if you have any stelliums, you have to have an accurate birth time, are you sure it's accurate? have you actually seen your birth certificate?), overly identifying with things as an excuse not to take accountability or grow (i'm just a sinner & i'll always be a sinner -> i'm toxic bc i'm a gemini tee hee), and a refusal to accept that they might be wrong or that it might not work out for everybody (everybody outside the church is evil and led by satan -> "that's such a capricorn thing to do!" "i lied about my sign i'm a libra" "oh my god that's such a libra thing to do with your indecisiveness!").
and obviously, they're different levels of harm and impact how widespread it is within communities, which is partially why i try to just shut up about it. but fuckin hell, some of y'all make it really difficult lmao.
#non religion#this isn't even getting into the way confirmation bias impacts both of them bc oh boy oh boy#i may delete this it's just like. legitimately triggering to see people do the same shit my church did#āif you don't feel connected to your sign you need to look at your rising signā i don't feel connected to my rising sign at all#ābut what about-ā yes my birth time is correct#ābut what about-ā yes i've looked at my chart as a whole. it's a contradictory mess#ābut what about-ā yes i have 2 stelliums one of them is my rising sign the other is in a house i don't identify with either#ābut what about-ā yes i've looked at the houses my signs are all in#ābut what about-ā yes i've looked at the degrees my signs are at too#ābut what about-ā yes i've looked at my chart with all the apps and websites#i was going through my chart with my astrology friend and listing all the things that are incorrect/contradictory/etc#they agreed it was really inaccurate & said āa cosmic event must have happened when you were bornā#like. it can't just be wrong. it can't just not work for me. there's always a justification#i really try to just let people enjoy things but fuck#some people can't handle that it's not for everyone and they make it everybody else's problem
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i love suns and pebbles canon dynamic in my head its kind of weird and fucked up and i wish more people depicted it as that (tag ramble incoming)
#i have a lot of thoughts about suns as a character#since theres not much from them in the story its mostly headcanon though#i think suns is someone who desperately wants to be liked and admired#like maybe theyre one of the youngest in their local group (i think theyre in a separate neighboring group to moons)#and they're not really used to being looked up to in any capacity#so pebbles is the first person who really respects them in that way and because of that they have this weird contradictory relationship#where sometimes suns relishes in that dynamic a little too much and holds the power over pebbles head and gets a little mean#and sometimes because suns still wants pebbles to keep liking and admiring them they can get a little too indulgent of him#hence the gold pearl. i think suns gave it to him bc they wanted him to find some kind of happiness but there was also a selfish element#'if i give this to him he'll like me more' etc#i dont think suns is intentionally cruel i just think they had never had that kind of relationship before and fucked a lot of things up#after spearmaster they start to get better at it esp since spearmaster is kind of a second chance for them. so suns learns to be kinder#on pebbles' end. i like to think pebbles was a lil infatuated with them. esp because he felt like they were the only one who understood him#unreciprocated tho. suns cared about him but more from a mentorly point of view than anything#kind of a weird thing where he looked up to them as an authority figure but also really kind of wanted them to be on the same level#in conclusion: toxic robot yuri can be cool sometimes#text#rain world
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I shouldnāt be typing this up on mobile after my work out but fuck it we ball. Dash talk inspired me to discuss the types of men Hotaru likes and Iām rolling the thoughts around in my head like a marble because Iām not sure if thereās actually a good word, or series of traits for it.
I donāt really believe Hotaru has any aesthetic preferences. Maybe sharper features comes to mind but thatās so? Itās such a non-thing nor something he really thinks about. Because Hotaru is frequently judged for his appearance due to his work, heās not inclined to judge others by their appearance. Especially not after Sadao. He knows that appearances are deceiving and just because someone looks like what youād want doesnāt mean that they actually are.
So thatās where I really struggle to verbalize Hotaruās type. I think his type is rooted somewhere in stability. This isnāt even necessarily meaning mentally stable nor having a full time job or anything like that. Which is even weirder to try and explain. By stability, I mean rooted in something. Whether it be a belief, a conviction, a cause. There has to be something a man needs to anchor himself to. It can be tangible like a career or intangible like an idea or principle, even if morally ambiguous. Hotaru doesnāt see himself as a person worth loving, and this low self esteem and belief that humans are inherently self-serving fuels this flexibility in his type.
Hotaru isnāt above developing feelings for someone who does illegal things which is insane when you consider that Hotaru is just Some Guy. Horaru also doesnāt have the expectation that heāll be romantically loved in any meaningful way, and because of that, heās more inclined to fall for someone on the basis of sincerity and earnestness. They donāt need to be morally perfect or even socially acceptable, but if thereās a genuine care there, heās willing to overlook a lot.
And it begs the question of whether or not this makes him saintly, desperate, or self-loathing. I think the most important component of being a saint is being a martyr, if you understand what Iām getting at. I think it can be all of those things at once.
Hotaru also isnāt closeted or shy about admitting that heās gay. Iām not going to get into the long winding road of queer history, especially not one pertinent to a culture I myself donāt necessarily belong to. But I will say that there are countless sources which cite hook ups as prevalent in the culture amongst gay men. Hotaru partook in this culture years ago and burnt himself out on it. I bring this up because it makes dating other men very difficult when going to bars because a lot of times itās to take the edge off. The unfortunate reality is that Hotaru has slept with men with wives and girlfriends and men who didnāt want anything from him except for a night.
Hotaru isnāt inclined to try gay bars again due to that and because the time he did landed him with Sadao. Itās a very complex situation with decades of communal trauma and the limbo of rights and representation in a country like Japan.
Hotaru has no expectation of romance and has a host of intimacy issues that I think makes his type very nebulous. Hotaru is past the age where aesthetic is a concern of his and heās almost sort of. Post conventional morality. Again, Iām tired from my work out and donāt know how eloquent I am in explaining this. There are a lot of cultural nuances here in the culture of gay men and not only gay men, but Japanese culture that requires at least 12 cited sources and a Japanese sociologist with an emphasis in LGBTQIA+ study lmao. Iām almost half debating if I want to start citing things for these more sociologically-oriented analyses so it doesnāt seem like Iām talking out of my ass.
But itās all to say that, due to the culture and trauma that Hotaru bears, he does not carry this inherent expectation of acceptance. He is used to being an object of desire due to his work and the fact that heās still young and beautiful. But heās tired of being an object of desire and rather wants to be desired and known and accepted in sincerity, which does not lend itself to an aesthetic type or even the conventional classes of person we come to expect in romantic conversations.
I really need to shut up because Iām getting so technical and in the weeds here youād reasonably think Iām doing circuitry, but Hotaru reads as sex and romance positive ace, which already fundamentally changes his relationship to the idea of romance as opposed to other people not on that spectrum.
It ultimately results in someone who interfaces with romance and potential romantic candidates differently. This isnāt even to say that Hotaru doesnāt want love and is above it, but rather to say that the complexities of his trauma, employment, sexuality, and intimacy crisis beneath capitalism result in a person with a more conceptual type than any solid image that can be constructed.
#psyche.#haju shut up challenge (failed)#anyways there were some topics here I alluded to and tried to handle delicately#itās all very complex and requires a lot of disclaimers#the challenge with writing people is that people are contradictory and complicated#they exist not only within themselves but a wider cultural context#and sometimes these things intermingle into muddy water that one side of the person affirms one thing#while the other contradicts this#and this can often be seen as poor character writing or nonsensical or without vision#but itās a situation that two conflicting truths donāt equal a lie#hotaru is the product of a lot of these conflicting things
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Part of me wants to empathize with the cishet man who is afraid to even appear gay. I think what the cishet man often fears by being seen as queer in dress, in mannerism, in taste, in speech, is that he fears his manhood will be stripped away, his humanity questioned. It's uncomfortable to think. It's uncomfortable to feel, and when you often don't face that for who you are, it feels even more biting. It feels like you have been stripped of a comfort you have had for decades, for your whole life, in one fell swoop.
It's certainly rooted in queerphobia, sure, but as a trans man? I would be lying by omission if I pretended like my own manhood wasn't questioned daily because of who I am, if I pretended like I haven't face violence for my manhood. I would be lying if I pretended like it's perfectly safe every time when people suspect I am queer (not even trans, but "just" queer).
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#queerphobia#queerphobia tw#i can understand the impulse but the thing i won't understand is when a man turns to violence to ~prove~ he is not One of Us (derogatory)#and i have had cis/het men who were horrified to even know people like ME exist and i have encountered some disgusting displays of hatred#it's things like this that make manhood interesting to me. it's the contradictory idea that man is independent whilst also...#...being hyperdependent on maintaining An Image and defending That Image to the death if necessary#off-topic but FUUUUUCK redd animal crossing for the fake painting i bought by mistake
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More sketchy employee profile images. Mostly made to be able to replace the picrew I had in the template I made since I can draw. I did end up just putting it as back and white though but the color is just nice to have. I'm STILL trying to tweak the template since it is very finicky and there is an example of what it looks down below if you're interested. It is a lot. It will happen. I am just not the quickest
There are typos and inconsistencies I missed but in general it should be fine...
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp agent#lobotomy corp oc#I ALMOST POSTED THIS WITH NO TAGS dude. dude. that or they got eaten which is also a high possibility#a bit lengthy with a lot of text qs well if it is decided to be looked upon. as said before it full of maybe inconsistencies and typos#the reason i keep stalling making it public is because its in GOOGLE DOCS. GOOGLE DOCS!!! and unoptimized for phone viewing so ahh... eh...#there was going to be a later part for notes but it would be around the later days so... cant reallt happen#mostly after cheseds core suppression due to ryn and him having contradictory views up to that point. ryn putting way too much effort into#their job while at that point chesed kind of gave up in a way. not going to ramble too muhc abt that its oc things but the dynamic of that#was something i wanted to talk about a bit.. that and the death of angelina but that happens LATE and near the final days#and communication is down with the rest#i wanted to make more boxes and categories but also for the ease of use i limited it. that and attempting to fit them into pages seemed lik#hell. honestly. eekk!! not up for that. included both for the sake of showcasing. i didnt finish the last ones which was going to be a#showing of an employee with not as many permissions due to ryn and angelina actually both being captains. will do that when i do showcase#and give out the actual template along with other things like images for 'transfer' like another branch#'dismissed' 'resigned' 'deceased' 'mia' which would be for things like backwards clock and wellcheers#there was so much math needed.... it was just adding and checking numbers for a timeline but still..... ew..... that and employee team shit#tried to have it somewhat believable a bit. kind of semi believable to go yeah this could be smthn that is in the corp#employee numbers were based off red shoes entry!! it had been different before but i read it in game since i got it and was like. OHH wait#.... i feel rather embarrassed to post this actually. excited but also embarrassed. likely the idea of showing something i ended up#putting hours into . its probably that. plus the fact its for original creations.... i hope itll be of use some day
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thinking abt how felix derides the blind loyalty & chivalry of dedue & ingrid but his loyalty is so integral to his character that if he defects from the faerghan army he becomes basically aimless and gets generally worse endingsā¦. how he admits that heās become exactly what he couldnāt bear to see in dimitriā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.. & thinking abt how he refuses to entertain the idea of the dead having any bearing on reality to dimitri & ingrid but then when dimitri dies in non-AM routes felix is always thinking abt him (ācould i have saved him? could i have stopped him?ā + wanting to avenge him etc.)ā¦ā¦.. & thinking abt how he acts all standoffish & like he doesnāt care but he painstakingly adapts his fighting style to complement those of his friends to keep them safeā¦ā¦.. what CANāT he do
#sorry i am. iām thinking abt felix he is so fantastic#thereās a convo in 3hopes at one point where heās talking to shez abt glenn & says that the only direction he needs is basically. dimitri.#heās so annoying he cares SO MUCH about EVERYTHING#iāll find the screencaps for that at some point#fe3h#few3h#deertalking#feposting#heās so lone wolf archetype but his ENTIRE THING just revolves around his friends and family. itās crazy heās so crazy im rotating abt it#when they were making felix they were like letās make him as contradictory as possible and also fill him with love. and thatās him#and he is everything to meā¦ā¦ā¦.#sorry the 3hopes playthrough is doing things to my brain. this was a bad idea bc iām gonna have to stop for zelda#but i still have a few days :-)#fe3h spoilers#jic :-)
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i think that christianity (as presented in the text of the gospels, anyway) and i have irreconcilable differences after all. there are pieces that still resonate with me and maybe always will. but there are also pieces that are jarringly wrong to me. & i have no logical way of separating out the bad pieces from who jesus may have been and what he represents within christianity, when the gospels represent many of those pieces as things that he said.
#liberation theology is still beautiful to me#but the way that slavery* is characterized and utilized in various parables & sayings attributed jesus... does not mesh with that#*many translations would use the language of servanthood but my impression is that slavery may be more accurate#i am tempted to say that those sayings were misrepresentations of jesus whereas the pieces that resonate with me are who he really is#after all there are disagreements and contradictions between the gospels#& some of his parables are presented in different and contradictory ways by different writers#so it's not like i had seen the text as something without error for a very long time#but regardless of that... the impulse to align him with the parts i see as good but not with the parts i see as destructive#feels like it is born of my own bias#and my bias is not necessarily a bad thing. not when it's my conscience.#but i don't feel my conscience can tell me who he really was. that's just not something it can answer.
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i never remember to explain shit anymore i just vaguepost and expect people to catch up but i finally have good news, we've made a lot of progress with my parents' estate (they both ran their own businesses and you know those images of nightmare cable management? well imagine that with bank accounts) and i actually have money now - im taking a trip to Aotearoa NZ with my mate Jules next week (dark sky reserve! lotr filming locations! snow! FOOD!) and then in august i will be moving to nyc to pursue a 2 year masters degree in library science with a focus on rare materials archival studies!! shits happening in my life!! im not just sitting in my house doing nothing all day!! and like i said i have money!! if you're taking commissions lmk bc while im focused on my getaway for the next few weeks i wanna support my friends and their art and when i get back i wanna throw u cash to draw my ocs!!
#fred says a thing#personal#i havent slept (its 8am) but not for sad reasons! i was reading a good book and then i just had a lot of thoughts!#invariably i will be sad again - probably soon! i will definitely see stuff on my trip that i will want to show my parents and have to#experience the strange nature of grief-for-what-never-was several times over during otherwise great moments#- but i will also be happy in the future too!#my therapist says i definitely have ptsd! im learning more about emotional flashbacks and how to manage them!#im a human being and i will continue to be one for the rest of my life!#i hope thats a long time!#but even if that isnt something my genetics allows i was happy now! and people were happy to have me in the world!#im realising that sounds rather alarming but i just have a lot of fears about my genetics considering. you know. the cancer orphaning.#im trying to manage both my health fears and my health itself in a reasonable way! i made a chicken tomato pasta sauce last night#just from ingredients i had lying around and it was pretty good!#i have a ripe tomato i picked from the garden yesterday that today i will fry up with bacon and put on some toast i think#there are so many books i want to read#there are so many books i want to write#in a few days i will be experiencing snow (a rarity for me) and i will probably be handling the cold very poorly and i will feel excited#and uncomfortable at the same time#and for much of my life i will experience a lot of contradictory things at the same tiem#and i will experience times of great boredom and inaction! we all have to stand in queues and wait for buses and go to the dentist#and wonder what might have been#but i will experience them. i will.
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recently i've switched back to browsing the twitter feed of my old main acct since i had the impression the accts i followed there were more serious/political and would have more gaza info. and weirdly that isn't true? for some reason currently the feed on my fandom account (which has become my main at this point) has a lot more?....but what they *do* have on the old one's feed is tons of gender discourse stuff that make me feel stressed and bad
#today i saw in quick succession:#a tweet about how 'theyfabs' who were femme presenting should just stop pretending to gender complexity and admit they're cis#and a tweet about how people who dont mind being referred to with their agab but like presenting otherwise sometimes should try hormones#i'm all for listening to people but These Are Contradictory Messages.. im listening but you canāt both be right#also: still not clear on if indians ARE marginalized cuz we're brown or UNmarginalized cuz asians are privileged compared to other poc#or if some indians are marginalized but not my kind specifically. MY belief is it's context dependant but The Internet is not A Context#you'll recall i have a chip on my shoulder about india being one category when its A Big Thing Like Europe. It Is For Reasons Like THis#imagine trying to quanitfy !!!ALL EUROPEANS!!! on a binary of oppressed or not oppressed
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Ahhhhh I really didn't imagine it, I still dislike Barber's way of writing Orion/Optimus just as much as I did on the first reading and all it took was rereading a few screencaps from one specific scene.
Literally I don't know which part annoys me more: Jetfire existing in the background solely to go "ORION PAX FUCKING SUCKS AND IS A HYPOCRITE", Orion being written like an edgy asshole who hates everyone, or Soundwave talking like an unhinged terrorist and the narrative expecting me to see Orion as the hypocrite for using violence to arrest terrorists.
Soundwave is seriously like "You have no proof we assassinated the Senate, but if we did assassinate the Senate it would've been justified, but also totally trust us bro, just because we could've hypothetically murdered the entire reigning government doesn't mean that we're violent bro come on just bc we assassinated-- I mean could have hypothetically had the means and cause to kill like a hundred people doesn't mean we were gonna kill anyone else, come on bro why are you calling us violent just bc we think some murder is okay" while Jetfire is in the background like "WOW ORION I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE WILLING TO BE VIOLENT IN RESPONSE TO OTHER PEOPLE BEING VIOLENT. YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN SIDE'S FLAWS EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE LITERALLY DOING AN INVESTIGATION TO DECIDE WHETHER ONE OF YOUR COPS COMMITTED AN UNJUSTIFIED KILLING OR NOT. YOU HAVE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING TO TRY AND FIGHT THE CORRUPTION IN SOCIETY." (Jetfire had no way of knowing about OP and crew fighting the Senate's schemes in Shadowplay and Elegant Chaos, but as a reader it's very frustrating seeing Orion getting lambasted as never having done anything to fight society's corruption when he literally did, and by the time he was even working for Zeta Megatron was already evil and had the whole Senate assassinated.)
Like ughhhh oh my god I could have maybe enjoyed this story under a better writer but as it's written it's some "yet you participate in society, curious" levels of political commentary where at least one character seemingly only exists in the scene to shit on OP (something that happens a lot in Barber's works, like with Pyra Magna and Slide) and where OP is framed as a hypocritical asshole for a reaction that's very understandable given the context.
And also it's weird because Barber wants so badly for you to read Orion as some sort of hypocrite for being against terrorist activities but being willing to employ violence himself to arrest terrorists, yet... it turns out the big twist of the story is that the Decepticons WERE smuggling weapons and Soundwave DID lie to Orion (even if it was unintentionally), thus vindicating Orion's entire distrustful attitude? Like, it seems as if it was supposed to be an ACAB story showing how evil the police are for killing people and how Orion (as a cop) is evil for being a cop that uses violence on behalf of the state. Except uh. Then Barber wrote a plot where the Decepticons literally were smuggling weapons all along (and this is alongside lore from Megatron: Origin where we as the readers know for a fact the Decepticons/Starscream killed the Senate) so.... Like, it just seems to me that if Barber wanted to write an ACAB story about how the state monopoly on violence is bad, he probably shouldn't have written the Decepticons as actually being terrorists who literally did lie about smuggling weapons?
I feel like a better way to write an ACAB/anti-state-monopoly-on-violence would've been to like, explore the way that states take advantage of catastrophe/using scapegoat political movements to gather more power to themselves and justify removing citizens' rights with "it's an emergency, we're taking away your freedoms to protect everyone." Like, maybe Zeta passes some law saying that officers can search citizens without a warrant, which he justifies with the fact that Decepticon terrorism is so rampant that officers need immediate permission to conduct raids/searches. Except this is obviously a problem because people have a right to privacy, and probably the cops are super overzealous and end up arresting innocent people without cause (like idk, maybe just being friends with someone who is sympathetic to the Decepticons gets someone landed in jail? Maybe Jetfire gets arrested bc he's critical of the state and has hung out with Decepticon sympathizers before). So then Orion has an actual "are we the baddies?" moment where he wants to stop the bad people, but he realizes that his side are infringing on people's citizens and justifying police brutality for the sake of a nebulous "greater good," and that even though he and his cops were given greater power to supposedly "protect citizens," in practice they're actually doing great harm to citizens by invading their privacy, creating a surveillance state, and imprisoning people without just cause? Basically "we were given this power to stop terrorists from hurting civilians, but now we're hurting civilians too so are we actually doing any good?" Because that way Orion and his cops would ACTUALLY be in the wrong and their state monopoly on violence would be an actually widespread institutional thing where they're clearly being allowed to do bad things just because they're cops. Not just Orion investigating one singular police killing.
But with the story written as "Orion suspected the Decepticons of murdering the Senate (he's correct about this) but still investigated one of his officers to see if he committed a wrongful murder (literally him paying attention to his own side's wrongdoings, Jetfire), and it turns out the Decepticons WERE smuggling weapons and doing terrorism (Orion was correct about this)" it's just.......... like, Orion may not be morally correct, but his hunches/investigations about the suspected criminal activity were literally correct. AND HE WAS WILLING TO DO THIS INVESTIGATION IN THE FIRST PLACE. But for some reason he's still framed as if he's an asshole for this? Even though this is a point in the pre-war lore where Megatron won't back down from violence and has lost his way from his original pure intentions, so it's not like Orion can just go "let's put down our weapons and be friends and mutually trust each other to not stab each other in the back."
It just feels as if Barber's intentions to write an ACAB story where Orion is framed as being too judgmental and quick to be violent don't line up with the actual events of the story. The story is desperately trying to call Orion a hypocrite, but he really just seems as if he's reacting understandably to the events that are happening around him, so there's a real dissonance here where I don't understand why the ACAB story had the cops be right about the Decepticons committing terrorism, and I'm also supposed to see Orion as an asshole for correctly not trusting the Decepticons???
#squiggposting#this is definitely making me very excited to reread barber's half of idw1. sarcasm#i can't wait to read more of my favorite character getting shit on by everyone and their mother#featuring shitty characters who basically only exist to be anti-OP mouthpieces#like idk i guess it's just really weird framing to me how OP is framed as some sort of hypocritical asshole#when like. idk if some guy i'd never met before from a politcal extremist group who i knew had assassinated the entire government#was like 'we're not violent bro trust me bro' i would also be like uhhh. fucking bet then#and the funny thing is even after all of that orion was still willing to believe soundwave that no weapons were being smuggled so like#idk it's just kind of weird to me to watch a scene where (poorly written edgy and angry) orion is understandably suspicious#while another character is screaming in the background OMG YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO FIGHT CORRUPTION IN YOUR LIFE#I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE OKAY WITH USING VIOLENCE AGAINST LITERAL TERRORISTS YOU'RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE#like ugh lmao#just another in a long line of 'everyone in the story treating OP like shit for having normal reactions'#the vibes are just seriously off for the way Barber writes asshole OP. like i love asshole OP but for some reason not this version of him#it's literally the same critique i always have of Barber's writing which is 'i wanted so badly to buy into the concepts he's playing with'#'but the execution is so weird/contradictory/poorly done that it just feels stupid instead'#like idk. it's just kind of unhinged to me that SW is portrayed as the reasonable one and OP the rabidly angry one but like#i'm sorry but i feel like even if the senate were assholes. if the cons were willing and able to just murder the whole govt#literally what reason does OP have to think they would stop there. esp since you know. they're continuing to illegally traffick weapons#i'm sorry but OP is just like. completely understandable there. there's no reason to think that ppl will just#magically put down their weapons and go oh we only did a little bit of justified murder. but we're gonna stop there. promise#it also pisses me off bc orion literally did support the cons back when they were a widespread movement doing protests and stuff#it was only when Meg came to power and killed sentinel and zeta came to power that OP became a cop again#and by that point Meg HAD radicalized the decepticons and taken over and pushed them towards a militaristic direction#like sorry but the cons that existed b4 megs took over and the ones that existed after he took over as their leader arent the same#i rly don't think OP is a hypocrite for not trusting them lol. esp since in that scene SW was acting so shifty#'we didn't murder them but if we did it was totally justified. but we won't do it again promise :) ' ah yes so trustworthy#it just feels like the story could've achieved its purpose with a plot that made more sense#and didn't have jet/fire being there just to expound towards the audience how much OP is a hypocrite
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I'm neurodivergent and we absolutely are not good at that.
Things that work in fiction but not real life
torture getting reliable information out of people
knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour
jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact
calling the police to deescalate a situation
rafting your way off a desert island
correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes
effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else
ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences
heterosexual cowboy
#like not to be rude but I'm talking scientifically. nobody can reliably profile strangers#you need to get to know someone before you can make reliable predictions about their behavior and what they're feeling#there are countless variations in the way people express their own emotions and intent. many of them contradictory#in some cultures making eye contact conveys honesty. in others it is rude. and even ppl FROM those cultures might#still not make eye contact even if it's expected of them because of things like autism. I'm one of those people#so in America my body language gives off hostile guilty vibes to most people when I'm just... chillin.#but perhaps you remember certain times when your guesses about someone were spot on#have you kept track of exactly which things you were right about and who the subjects were and where they were from etc?#if so what patterns have you noticed in the kinds of people you guessed right on? were they from your locale?#most importantly what's your actual rate of accuracy? how do you prevent implicit bias from affecting your predictions?#and how do you know that confirmation bias isn't making you Feel more accurate than you are?#if you were actually wrong... how would you know?#i could link a dozen studies on the accuracy of profiling if you want. the whole practice is rife with pseudoscience
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Thereās something I love love loveeee about Laios and how badly he wants to be cool.
Let me preface with this: in general, I believe the harder you try to be cool, the less cool you actually are. The less you care what people think about you, if youāre ācringeā or āweirdā, the more likely people will perceive you as confident and self-assured.
There are countless pieces of media where characters try to fit in with some group, change every part of themself to look/act like what theyāre āsupposedā to be, and end up miserable, often realizing the people theyāre trying to impress arenāt worth the trouble.
Iāve experienced this in my own life too! Sometimes when I go out I wear a rainbow propeller cap! Cause I think itās funny and silly and!! I ALWAYS get compliments!! I donāt wear it to be cool, I wear it because it makes me happy. And people overall have a positive reaction to it. itās a huge contrast to when I was teenager and didnāt really put as much of myself into my appearance/wardrobe, and barely left any kind of impression on people.
So anyway, letās get into it.
Laiosā¦ heās been hurt so badly by people. He resented humanity for it. And yet, he still yearns for the approval of others. He wants FRIENDS!!!! and was angry and frustrated to learn his perception of his relationship with Shuro was so drastically different than Shuroās!!!!
He KNEW that people were put-off by his love of monsters. Up until Falin got eaten, he deliberately suppressed how much he talked about it with others. He probably thought by not talking about monsters so much, it was working!! He was doing all the Right Things now! So Shuro confessing he always hated him was a huge blow.
But the reality is, he loves monsters. And most importantly, he loves cool monsters. He fantasizes about what would make the Ultimate Monster.

He feels very strongly about what he considers ācoolā as well. He finds all aspects of monsters fascinating, but can still be HORRIBLY underwhelmed when they look too lame for his tastes.

He knows most people donāt feel the same way he does. He knows his ācoolā is everyone elseās āweirdā. Itās so tragically sweet how he latches onto Kabru the moment he shows interest in monsters, and takes every opportunity to infodump about them to him.




He wants people to find monsters as cool as he does!! But, he also wants people to think heās as cool as he finds monsters.


Like!!! djkfghadkfjg IT DOESN'T EVEN BOTHER HIM WHEN PEOPLE HAVE A WRONG IMPRESSION OF HIM! He's FLATTERED by it. It's almost like, at this point, it doesn't matter to him if people don't like him. People can not like him and still think he's cool.
And my favorite thing is, it works. Laios IS cool as fuck. You KNOW he thought he looked so badass when he did this and he was RIGHT:

And yet, this is him trying very hard to look cool. But it's Laios's version of cool. It's almost contradictory, in that sense. Cause he knows people still don't get it. Like. He wants to be cool. He doesn't care about the "normal" ways to be cool. He thinks his cringe thing is cool. He does his cringe thing, that people very much do still think is cringe. So you would think that, since he wants people to think he's cool, he would not do the cringe thing. But he wore the pelt because he thought it was cool. And people clapped and cheered for him anyway.


is what he's doing really so different than this? ^
YAYYYYY WOOO GO LAIOS YOURE SO COOL!!!!!!!
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#long post#photos#laios touden#I LIKE HIM A LOT!!!!!! HES SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER!!!!!
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The Importance of Studying Queerness in Context.
When studying queer history, one always has to keep in mind two seemingly contradictory things: firstly, that queerness and queer people have always existed, but at the same time, that queerness and queer identities have not always existed the way they exist today.
Modern queer terms and identities did not exist to queer people in the past. They would not have thought of themselves as "gay" or "trans" or even "queer." While these modern terms may seem to fit certain historic individuals, these individuals would not have thought of themselves as such, and it would not be a part of their lived experience. To apply the modern identities of queerness to history is to erase the lives and experiences of queer people in history, and care must always be taken to understand queer history within the context of its time.
When looking at queer history online, there is a *lot* of misinformation and misidentification out there simply because people are eager to apply modern queerness to history, often in places where it doesn't belong.
A lot of old photos get misidentified as gay because they show two people of the same sex showing some level of physical affection towards each other. Okay, I'll admit that the open-mouth kissing photobooth pictures are probably actually gay, but an old picture of two men or two women holding hands or with their arms around each other, or even kissing on the cheek, were common shows of platonic affection.









I hate to break everyone's gay little hearts, but without explicit documentation saying so, assuming that these couples are all gay is putting modern queer identity in places where it simply didn't exist. The women in the final picture are sisters. The "not married" boys are bachelors interested in marrying women.
In the silent film Wings, the emotional climax of the film comes in the form of a kiss exchanged between the characters played by Jack Powell and David Armstrong. It often gets attributed as the first gay kiss in cinema history, even on the fucking YouTube clip I found:
youtube
Except it isn't gay. The two men spend the whole film fighting over who gets to be Clara Bow's boyfriend. When Richard Arlen's character is fatally wounded, his dear friend rushes to his side and kisses him goodbye, because in the 1920s, that was considered the ultimate show of friendship. The movie ends with Jack Powell falling in love with Clara Bow.
Similarly, a kiss shared between Lillian and Dorothy Gish in the 1921 movie Orphans of the Storm often gets attributed as being queer, but it wasn't.
They were sisters playing sisters. None of this was considered unusual.
Pooh-poohing on all of these images that so many people on the internet breathlessly and joyously laud as proud gay history isn't fun. It makes me feel like I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But if misinformation is allowed to flourish, it allows people like Ben Shapiro to come in and make the argument that queerness is a modern invention and queer people didn't exist in the past.
Everyone loves to see queerness represented in history, but the fact is that none of the stuff in this post would have been seen as explicitly gay and thus shouldn't be called gay today. If we are to understand queer history in its fullness and richness, it is absolutely crucial that we get it right. We owe it to our queer ancestors to recognize, honor, and not embellish the actual lives they lived.
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u know what, as much as i complain about the state of things i think its so cool how common it is now to see things like contradictory or closeted trans headcanons and have them like, discussed and celebrated. i especially love what some people will do with characters like laios, where the headcanon is that his gender is internally complicated but he just never realises or thinks to act on it
even just a few yrs ago people were getting publicly crucified for transing a character outside of their canon gender, and imo this is way better
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