#and some dudes are like mean??? what’s with this mean blanket statement

[eternal-reverie]

hate arguing online which is why I barely comment on anything

[samuraisharkie]

Going on record to say I can’t stand scoutandcompany *bracing for impact*

[pygmi-says-hi]

writing tips - sick/poisoning fics

so since you guys ate up the injury thing like holy fuck 1.5k notes in 24 hours??? hello?? I thought I'd do a semi-related one about sickness.

disclaimer because you guys thoroughly reminded me of this: medicine is fucking weird and everybody reacts differently. this is blanket statement information, not the mayo clinic. idc that 'oh my cousin had that disease and he didn't have that symptom' okay whatever like sorry but that's not the point of this post. this is just to eliminate egregious mistakes. I'm not looking into every possible way this illness will show up. chill your tits. the comments on the last post were just like. dude. chill.

aurkay so.

poison-related illness.

okay poisoning is such a cool concept and there are literally so many cool effects it can have. Idk why everyone goes with the holy trinity of hallucinations, fainting and nausea. like yeah those are good but there are so many other things???

like internal bleeding. literally the best. I love it. It's slow but hella deadly and sometimes people can't even feel it/don't know what's happening. that's such a great option for whump or some angst. like they didn't know until it was too late. gold.

also - some poisons are not dissolvable in food or drink. Like certain medicines, they lose effectiveness if digested instead of injected intravenously. obviously you don't have to know that but if you wanna get into it, do a lil bit of research. could bring up some intriguing scenarios.

infection or sepsis

yoooo. sepsis is lowkey terrifying. infections are similar to actual illness but are caused because of an unsanitary wound. lots of interesting symptoms to browse here:

fever, cramps, fainting, hallucinations, dehydration, delirium, nausea, sores, sepsis, organ failure and on and on and on.

infection happens so fast too. like forget to change a bandage once and boom it could be infected. (is that a whump opportunity I hear...?)

sepsis is like the point of no return pretty much. Unless you've got crazy medical technology, sepsis is really really bad. basically, it's when the body overreacts and starts to damage its own tissue. leading to organ failure and then eventually death. spooky.

regular illness

this just means like a virus or something. a key point of viruses is an elevated temperature and dehydration; the body's primary responses. burn the bug out and dehydrate it.

depending on the illness, symptoms will vary. respiratory infections or viruses involve congestion, coughing, sore throats, a rattly breathing sound, and productive coughing (phlegm and mucus). Stomach illnesses include cramps, nausea, dehydration, dizziness, low blood sugar, weight loss, and diarrhea. these can overlap but mostly those are the groupings.

with fevers come achy joints and sensitive skin. fever is inflammation, like mild swelling everywhere because of how intense the antibody reaction is.

dehydration sets in really quick. really bad dehydration induces dizziness, nausea, diarrhea, delirium, lethargy, and fainting. great motivation for a whumper to possibly restrict whumpee's water intake...?

just some prompts! kinda low energy today sorry I haven't been posting, xox

[bloodsbane]

i will not reblog the post to comment no matter how tempted i am because i refuse to listen to the devil this early in the morning. but i just saw a post basically saying 'if you like to think about characters from a thing you like having sex, you're weird AND did you even actually like the media they're from or are you just some horny loser who needs everyone to fuck all the time?'

and i get it, tumblr rando, you are frustrated or whatever. you made a post on your personal blog on the making posts on your blog webbed site. you are just throwing a huge blanket umbrella statement over a large crowd and catching people who arent who you're talking about underneath it

but i REALLY wish this idea that liking sex or enjoying thinking about characters having sex (or even just shipping in general) = you DONT CARE about the source material beyond a surface level would die right now immediately. do you know how arrogant and pedantic and dismissive this makes you sound? im so so sorry but some people just DO like sex! and like, idk if you knew this, but sex is how some people connect with others or like exploring characters in new and compelling ways that interest them

the post was also specifically complaining about people doing this within, like, a couple days of getting into said thing. dude. what? okay so if i politely cross my hands on my lap and sit still and only think holy thoughts about Media and Character Motivations for one full week and deliver 3 analysis essays to your desk by friday, THEN will it be okay for me to write some bdsm? have i filled my quota of being a Normal and Intellectual fan? did i prove to you that i really, truly care about the source material instead of just being a filthy queer who only cares about icky sex and getting my rocks off?

it's one thing to not be interested in smutty fic/art yourself, and you're entitled to your opinions, and it's fair to be annoyed when the spaces you want to occupy are loud with material that isnt for you. but this rhetoric that caring about sex and wanting to write about it JUST FOR FUN with characters you like from a story you enjoy means that you're like. too stupid or shallow to have actually engaged with the source material beyond it being shipping fodder. that's high-key some of the most rancid shit ive had to hear and y'all seriously need to start scrubbing that out of your brain or it's just gonna rot

[teatraps]

I’m noticing a spike in the idv fandom of ppl making blanket statements like “they’re all murders so they’re all bad ppl” while removing the nuance and context behind the action that makes ppl sympathize with some characters more than others and not think the character is outright bad for killing, and then acting like they just did the pinnacle of analysis… I’m worried dude. Maybe it’s not as big of an issue on tumblr, but I know Twitter and TikTok are doing this constantly, and I feel like it’d be really good for them to learn what morally grey means

[duskyashe]

CAMP NANO DAY 12

[AO3]

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Danny could have cried in relief. All of his hard work (and Jazz's pointed words with the more friendly of his rogues) had paid off—Danny could finally, finally take a nap. His homework was caught up, all his chores were done, his parents were off terrorizing yet another ghost hunters convention, and the only ghost he'd had to deal with the entire day had been a blob ghost making itself at home in the neighbor's trash can. With Jazz and his friends on deck for emergency ghost wrangling, Danny couldn't find it in himself to feel anything but relief as he buried himself under his blankets on his rarely used bed.

As the sixteen year old half ghost started drifting off, eagerly looking forward to catching up on his sleep, a familiar green glow appeared over his bed and a bone chilling gasp got stuck in the back of his throat, startling Danny awake. "No, no, no, come on!" Danny cried out in frustration. "Just one undisturbed afternoon nap, is that too much to ask?!" Half expecting Wulf to come tumbling out of the dimensional tear that was suspended above his bed, Danny changed forms and sat up against his headboard. If the Esperanto speaking ghost showed up, Danny wanted ready access to his ghost half's innate understanding of all languages spoken by the dead and the NeverBorn.

Instead of Wulf, however, the person who fell through the unstable portal and onto his bed was wearing an armored costume. A very familiar armored costume. What was Nightwing doing in his bedroom?!

The Gotham vigilante quickly rolled off his bed and landed in a crouch, visibly taking the situation in. It was something Danny, himself, had done many times over the past two years, and personal experience had him raising his hands and carefully holding them away from himself as a peaceful gesture. Even though Danny was hella confused, he let Nightwing dictate when the questioning began.

He wasn't even going to think about the kinds of questions his bedroom would raise or the deductions that one of the superhero community's greatest detectives would be able to make from this experience. That way led madness.

Apparently satisfied with his visual scan of Danny's room, Nightwing turned the majority of his attention to Danny and asked, "Who are you?" Overall, definitely one of the better questions to ask in this situation.

"I'm Phantom," Danny replied, then cringed at the remembered lecture from Pandora about titles and using them and amended his statement. "King Phantom, I guess."

Nightwing's attention narrowed in on him at that, feeling almost like a laser. "King Phantom? Ghost King Phantom?"

Danny scowled at that, suddenly understanding the gist of what had happened. "Let me guess, some hoity toity big wig fruitloop kidnapped and sacrificed you to the Ghost King, either for favor, power, immortality, or all of the above?"

His reaction seemed to have set Nightwing off balance somewhat, as the man hesitated slightly before responding much less hostilely. "Yessss? I mean, the Lazarus Pits have been growing less and less potent over the last two years, and Ra's seems to be getting more than a little desperate. Apparently he did the same ritual once before, about four hundred years ago, and ended up with the Lazarus Pits. The same Pits that are losing potency at a frankly astonishing rate."

"Of course," Danny mumbled with a curse and a facepalm. "Here's the problem. Two years ago, there was a different Ghost King. He was very much not a good dude, very power hungry and very evil. He probably received that sacrifice four hundred years ago and decided it was a good investment, and so created those Lazarus Pits as a show of favor. They probably granted inhuman power and the ability to cheat death, right?" At Nightwing's nod, Danny continued. "Yeah, see, there's no real way to cheat death, not like that. Death comes for everyone eventually, you can just prolong the inevitable. Ever since I defeated the previous King in ritualistic single combat, all favors, spells, and curses put in place by the former King have been dissolving without the power of the throne behind them. Unless the new King, me, reinforces those favors, spells, and curses, they will eventually wither into nothing." Danny saw Nightwing start to pale and hurried to reassure him. "Luckily for you, I have no intention of doing that. You'd become my thrall and effectively die right here and now if I did. I really don't want to do that, you're one of my favorite heroes ever, so instead what I'm going to do is basically quicken the process of those Lazarus Pits drying up. Anyone willing to sacrifice one of the heroes of the world for a little bit of power and prolong their death will never find favor from me," Danny declared, feeling his eyes flash silver as his Royal Decree was written in the very fabric of the universe. "Now! How about we get you back to where you belong!"

============·^·^·^·============

So sorry for missing yesterday, my boyfriend flew in from out of state, so I had to go pick him up from the airport, which was almost three hours one way, and I ended up with hardly any time to write. I also forgot to write for a good portion of today, so this was a bit rushed and not at all what I was originally planning on writing (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ but hey! Another prompt from the Batpham server has been written and published! (⁠ノ⁠^⁠_⁠^⁠)⁠ノ

I'm trying to finish Cryptid Crash Course chapter 3 for y'all, but I can't quite get the opening to work the way I want it to, so I'm letting it sit and marinate in the back of my head (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）don't worry, I'm planning on finishing the entirety of Cryptid Crash Course this month! I just don't know when that'll actually be ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⁠ʖ⁠⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Once again, if anyone wants to add on to this, please feel free! I fully intend for this to be the only time I touch on this world, so it's free game, y'all (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧ have at it!

Have a good morning/day/night wherever you are!

[wordsbyrian]

Team Dad - Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: R becomes the team dad, but isn't quite sure how she managed that.

A/N: I had this written before the Bayern game but I wasn't gonna post it yet. Then I saw the photos of Alexia and Pina where Ale looked a proud mom, so you guys get to have it now instead of later. Also this was (kinda) requested by @yourssincerelyj, enjoy my dude.

Living and playing in a different country than your girlfriend is not as easy as some people make it out to be.

It also doesn’t help that both of you are incredibly busy people, having a variety of commitments off the field.

Luckily though, you have both been called up to the national team for camp, meaning that the two of you will get to spend some much-needed time together.

On the other hand, you’re stuck rooming with Mapi at this camp. Don’t get it twisted, she is definitely one of your best friends but rooming with her brings with it unpredictable levels of chaos.

And it always comes at unwanted times, like right now when you and Alexia are attempting to take a nap.

“Hola Tortolitas,” Mapi says, bursting into the room, she stops and takes a look at the two of you curled up under the blankets, “You both better be fully clothed under there.”

“Fuck off Maria,” you say not bothering to lift your head up.

“Ale, can you hurry up and have sex with her so that she doesn’t spend the next two weeks trying to bite my head off?”

“Fuck off Maria.” You more feel Alexia say this than hear it, your face smushed into a pillow with an arm thrown over her.

“Alright,” Mapi says, making noise as she grabs what she came for and heads back to the door, “Remember that we have a team dinner later. Do us all a favor and try not to miss it.” She flees, shutting the door behind her.

With the menace finally gone, you wiggle around a bit trying to get comfortable again, groaning when you can’t.

“Mi amor, stop moving, por favor,” Ale says, pressing her hand to the back of your head.

“I’m trying but now I have an unexplainable urge to kill Maria.”

“Don’t do that.”

“But,” you say with a pout.

“If you kill her, who will look out for Ona, Lucia, and Laia in Manchester while you’re in jail,” she asks, not surprised at all when you just groan in response. “That’s what I thought, now just close your eyes so we can take a nap.”

Doing as you’re told, it doesn’t take you very long to get comfortable against your girl and drift off.

A few hours later, you are very rudely awoken by the sound of who you believe to be Ona, Lucia and Laia giggling.

“Is there anything I can help you three with,” you ask groggily while moving to a sitting position.

“Panos and Jenni sent us to make sure that the two of you actually get up and ready for dinner,” Ona says, looking at her phone.

“And Mapi gave us her key,” Lucia adds as though she can read your mind, this statement is accompanied by Aleixandri holding up the aforementioned key.

“Alright, I’m up so scram,” you say.

“We were told to make sure that both of you get up, meaning Ale too,” Laia explains.

“Are you sure that you want to be the ones to wake her,” you ask, getting out of bed, “I mean if that's what you want, go for it.”

The three younger players exchange a look that lets you know that no they actually don’t want to be the ones to wake your girlfriend up. It’s a well-known fact amongst the national team that La Reina is not a pleasant person after she wakes up.

“I’ll see you downstairs,” you say, closing the door behind them as they practically race out of the room, turning back to the bed you aren’t surprised to see Alexia sitting up awake and alert, “Oh, so you’re done pretending to be asleep now that they’ve left?”

“Your kids, your problem,” she says getting up.

You’re slightly shocked never having heard anyone refer to the younger players as your children.

“Oh, really? So which ones are yours?”

“Patri, Aitana, and Pina,” she says as though it's the most obvious thing in the world, which in some ways it is.

Of course, you can’t let her know that you kind of agree with her so you just roll your eyes and send her back to her own room to get ready.

The topic does get brought back up at dinner and somehow you’re expecting it even less than you had been when Alexia mentioned it earlier.

“Y/N/N, what’s it like having your entire family back in camp,” Jenni asks with a smug look on her face.

“Que?”

“You’ve got your wife and all six of your kids here,” Irene explains, “You must be pretty happy.”

“This joke has just started and I'm already sick of it,” you say, glancing around the table, looking for any signs of who could have started it.

You don’t bother to argue against them calling Alexia your wife because everyone knows that even though the two of you aren’t engaged yet, it’s a matter of when rather than if.

“Hey, Y/N/N is clearly the papa,” Leila says, nudging Mapi who immediately breaks out in uncontrollable laughter.

“If I am the papa, then the two of you are clearly los tios tontos,” you say, causing the rest of the team to break while simultaneously shutting the two clowns up.

While everyone laughs, you feel Alexia lean in to whisper something in your ear.

“I would not mind having six kids with you one day,” she says, causing your cheeks to grow far too warm.

“Six is way too many,” you respond, “Besides, I’d like to marry you for real before we acquire any children that aren’t just adults in disguise. I mean look at what Claudia is doing.”

She turns her head slightly and watches as Pina continues to push her food around creating different images to show Patri and Laia on either side of her.

Alexia laughs a little and you just turn to look at her, eyebrows raised as though to say, my point has been proven.

The joke about Alexia and you being Mom and Dad to the younger players on the team continues for the rest of camp, and many weeks after it, and you find yourself playing into it more often than not.

For example, once while you were playing FIFA with Mapi and Leila, Aitana asked you to be the tie-breaking vote in some argument she and Pina were having. Not even bothering to look away from the TV screen you said to her, “Preguntale a tu mama.”

Ask your mom.

This gets laughter out of everyone lucky enough to be in the room, or at least everyone not named Alexia or Aitana.

Alexia doesn’t laugh because she has been trying her damnedest to not get involved in the silly little argument, even going as far as to try and slip out of the room.

And Aitana doesn’t laugh because well she thought you would actually be the one to stop the argument.

Other incidents include every time you were dumb enough to respond when one of the six, most often Patri, Ona, or Lucia, called you papa.

And worst of all, the time that Pina walked in on you and Alexia making out and proceeded to run out of the room shouting about how she felt like she just saw her parents having sex.

Yea, that one was pretty bad. Mapi and Leila had jokes for weeks after that.

You had thought that the joke would stay within the team and for the most part it had, that is until Laia posted a photo of you sleeping on the bus on her Instagram story with the caption: She really is the team dad.

Naturally, you reposted it saying that is the very reason why Lucia is your favorite child.

This, of course, makes its way around the fans and before you know it, fans of both club and country are singing about you being a dad.

It would be annoying if the songs weren’t so catchy.

When you tell Alexia this during the next camp all she has to say is that she’s noticed.

“How is it that me being the dad has picked up more traction than you being the mom,” you ask her, “You routinely tell your teammates to stop fucking with you, every actual mom I know does that all the time.”

“You just give off dad energy,” she responds, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“That explains nothing,” you say with a pout that is instantly kissed away, “Did no one see that photo of you looking at Claudia like she just told you about her great day at school?”

“Everyone saw it, but I think you being a dad is just more amusing to them.”

The next day when you walk into the conference room where breakfast is being held, you’re instantly greeted by your six “children” rushing toward you.

“What do you want,” you groan, already feeling a headache building.

This must be how your mom felt having to deal with the shenanigans of you and your brothers growing up.

Instead of any of them answering, Lucia shoves a box into your hands.

Raising an eyebrow, you slowly open the box, chuckling when you see what’s inside.

A black T-shirt with the words “Big Dad Energy” in big letters across the front.

You hold it up to show the rest of the team, not at all surprised when you hear people yelling for you to put it on.

You do and you also take a photo with the six younger women that gets posted on your Instagram.

The caption reads: Just a dad hanging out with her kids.

It isn’t until you’re back in Manchester in the apartment you share with Ona that you find out that Mapi was the mastermind behind the entire idea of you being the team dad.

You might have to kill her after all.

[jeansplaytoy]

lovely | a.arlert

shy!armin confessing his feelings to you at the carnival.

fluff, maybe language?, afab!reader.

you walked through the carnival, people surrounding you everywhere you went and turned. it was almost scary how many people were there, but it was obvious. “where the hell that dude go?” you whispered to yourself while twisting around to find where armin went. he said he was going to the bathroom, but it’s been almost 10 consecutive minutes, and you haven’t seen him since.

you shook your head and shrugged it off. it’s probably nothing, you thought to yourself before walking over to the popcorn stand and pulling out your phone, pressing his contact.

ima be waiting by the popcorn stand when u come back.

you sent the message before putting your phone in your back pocket and looking around. all you could think about was the fact that he’d better be back before the fireworks went off. biting your lip and looking at the group, you felt someone poke your arm. you looked beside you.

“finally. what were you doin, man?” you tilted your head. “I had to buy snacks for the fireworks. I forgot to invite you, ‘cause I wasn’t thinking about it.” he smiled and gave you your favorite chips, a drink, and cotton candy. you smiled and hugged him warmly. “thank youuu.” you dragged your words before grabbing your things and starting to eat your cotton candy. armin didn’t hug back, he was nervous. as hell.

“yeah, uh… we can, y’know, get our spots ready.” he said, looking everywhere else but at you. you cheesed and grabbed his arm, wrapping yours around his. “alright.”

for a minute he could’ve sworn he felt his heart drop. it wasn’t anything new that you would get all physical with him and stuff, but it seemed like every time you did it was the first time you ever did, and that’s what made him so scared. he kept walking with you, glancing at you every few seconds before looking the other way and trying to hide his smile. ‘God, she’s beautiful.’ he thought, looking up at the stars while biting his lip before looking at you again.

he tried to make sure he didn’t turn his head too much, because you’d catch him. and he’d be even more embarrassed than he already is. “this is good.” you looked at him. his eyes quickly diverted above you before he looked at you. “hm?” he hummed. you looked at him with a confused look. “you good? you’re all red and stuff.” you laughed. he stared at you for a moment as you both stopped walking. “really?” his eyes slightly widened before he looked forward. “I dunno. looks like it.” you said.

“ah, yeah.” he nervously chuckled before you two finally made it to an empty spot. you could see some building from afar, but none that were in the way of the sky. “it’s so pretty out here.” you mumbled before spreading out a blanket in the grass and sitting on it, like everyone else was doing. armin sat beside you, putting your snacks in front of you. “yeah, it is.” he said quietly before criss crossing his legs. you kept your legs in front of you before leaning on your palms. “do you think random firework ash falls on people if they’re too close?” you asked, looking at him.

he raised his eyebrows and laughed at your statement. “I mean… maybe?” he said. “what time do they start popping? you asked, opening your drink and sipping it. “uh, like, nine.” he said. “what time is it?” you asked again. “8:58.”

“oh my Goddd, I’m excited.” you smiled to yourself. Armin watched as you wiggled in happiness and smiled softly. “I can tell. when’s the last time you’ve been to one of these?” he asked. “when I was nine, i think. but not in a long time, I know that. it’s been so long, armin!” you started shaking him before hearing everyone’s talking start to get louder. you gasped and looked at him, “it’s starting!” you smiled again. armin laughed and put his hand on your shoulder. “you’re way too excited.” he chuckled before looking forward. you both paused.

that’s when you saw one firework go into the air, and then pop, showing pink and purple colors. you bit your lip with a smile. “that was so pretty…” you pointed and looked at him. he smiled and nodded, not as pretty as you, looking forward as more started to go off. you watched in awe as all the colors filled your face.

he also looked forward, before his gaze shifted to you, who had a slightly opened mouth. he watched as he could see the reflection of the colors in your eyes. he softly inhaled and noticed that his hand was still on your shoulder. ‘make the move’ he thought to himself. he swallowed as you moved slightly closer to him, eyes still fixed on the sky as both of your ears filled with loud sounds of popping.

as he looked back forward, he slightly moved his hand from your shoulder, to your upper back, and to your other shoulder. his hand hung off as you continued to watch the fireworks, barely noticing what was happening, but when you did, you looked at his hand and back to the sky, moving closer again before laying your head on him. his arm now fully rested around you.

he looked down at you again. “you’re so pretty.” he whispered. “I wish you knew how I felt about you.”

and he really, really didn’t expect you to hear him over all the fireworks, that was until you replied. “me too.” but everything was getting so loud, it was almost faint. the only reason you could hear each other was because you were close to each other. he looked down at you, heart beating quickly. “huh?” he frowned. you shook your head. “nothing.”

as he looked around, and looked back up to the colors in the sky, you suddenly looked up at him, only with your eyes though. he didn’t even notice.

you watch as the colors from the sky bounced off of his face, lighting it up pink, blue, red, and every other color there was. you then looked at his lips. now you weren’t completely nervous, you’d always knew there might’ve been something between you two that you both knew about, but neither of you wanted to mention it.

just do it, your mind told you. that’s when the thought flashed in your head. what if you did? what would it change? you two basically, technically already told one another how you felt. so really, what would happen?

your eyes moved back to his eyes and towards his lips again and his openly did the same.

thats when it finally happened, he leaned in and kissed you, for a long time. his lips tasted like candy, almost, from the amount he’d eaten that night. he pulled away and stared at you, lips slightly parted and breathing hard. not only because he was holding his breath out of fear, but because he was nervous as fuck. couldn’t even believe he just did that.

you stared back at him in silence. “what was that?” you asked. armin shrugged and shook his head. “i… don’t even know. like, seriously.” he said back. you looked him in the eyes before smiling. “you like me?” you laughed and shook your head.

“you like me?” he chuckled a little. you rolled your eyes and shrugged. “yeah, whatever.” you laughed before he smiled and looked forward, face getting pinker by the second.

“you’re adorable, armin.” you laughed and rested your head back on his shoulder.

“yeah… yeah, you too.”

[italiansteebie]

Three Dinguses And a Baby Also on ao3

Nobody had heard from Steve in days. 

It was a little concerning, the guy seemed to always be around, and for him to just go off the grid like this… It was highly unusual. Now, Eddie, personally, wasn’t worried, maybe a little curious, but he was not worried. Robin and the kids? Yeah, but him? No. Not at all. 

And because he was so unconcerned, he dropped by Steve’s house, Robin and kids in tow. 

“Steve, open up man! You good in there?” Eddie asked loudly, banging on the front door. Distantly, Eddie could hear a baby crying, now what the fuck was that about? He pounded on the door again, “Dude, seriously.” He called, looking over to Robin who was wringing her hands together nervously. He heard some shuffling from the other side of the door. 

It swung open to reveal a half dead looking Steve Harrington. “Hey.”

“Hey? Dingus, we thought you were dead!” Robin screeched, Steve raised a hand, “Shh. Please, I just got her to go down.” Eddie arched an eyebrow. The crying he heard from earlier resumed, “Oh fuck. Okay. okay. Come in, just be quiet please.” Steve said, practically stumbling as he opened the door for the group to pile in. 

They gathered semi-awkwardly in the living room as Steve disappeared into the depths of the house, the crying getting louder as Steve returned with a small bundle cradled carefully in his arms. He was bouncing the figure slightly, humming softly as he did so. “Steve, what the fuck,” Eddie couldn’t stop the words before they were tumbling out of his mouth. He watched as Steve sighed, taking in the bags that hung around his eyes. “That’s a baby, Steve.” Dustin practically whispered as the baby finally stopped crying. 

They watched close as Steve shuffled over to the couch, plopping down gently, settling the baby on his lap. “This is Florence, she’s my moms but. I guess my mom got if fucked up on the birth certificate because she wrote Stephano the third instead of the second, so now she’s legally mine. My dad wants nothing to do with her.” Steve blew out a puff of air, rubbing a gentle hand over Florence’s head. “I’ve been calling her Flo, uh. She likes to cry. A lot. In the middle of the night… So.” Eddie sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face, “Dude. When’s the last time you got some sleep?” Steve shrugged, “Uh, I think I’ve gotten a few hours since Flo’s been here… She got here… Uh. Monday, I think?” Robin’s jaw dropped, “Steve, it’s friday. Why didn’t you call anyone for help?”

Steve shook his head, letting it fall back onto the couch. “I didn’t realize it had been that long, I’m sorry.” He trailed tiredly. The kids had now gathered on the floor, grabbing pillows and blankets and piling them up into some sort of nest. Eddie shifted, reaching for the tiny human in Steve’s arms. “Woah, uh.” Steve said, sitting up. “It’s cool, Stevie. I used to babysit all the time. I got her.” Eddie soothed, cuddling Flo close as Steve handed her over. 

“Get some sleep, Steve-o. You need it, bad.” Eddie instructed gently, Robin nodding in agreement, “Yeah man. You look like shit.” She said, not so gently. Her statement went unnoticed though, because as soon as Eddie had a hold of Flo, Steve was out like a light, drool and all. 

Eddie could see the resemblance between him and his sister, especially with the matching drool running down both their sleeping faces. Eddie smiled fondly as he watched Steve sleep, only breaking out of his trance when Robin smacked him lightly on the arm, careful not to disturb Flo. “Dude, you got a crush on him or something?” Eddie had the decency to look shocked, “Wh- What. Psh, no.” He spluttered, flipping Dustin off when he turned around with a ‘really?’ look on his face. “Mind your business, Henderson.” Dustin turned around rolling his eyes, returning to his conversation with the other kids. 

Robin was still looking at him, “You do, don't you?” She asked softly. Eddie sighed, nodding. “I mean, I didn’t- ugh. He’s a good guy y’know? I just. Why did it have to be him? I mean… He’s straight.” Robin looked at him, shrugging, “I mean. You never know…” She said Eddie turned to her, “Are you saying King Steve isn't straight?” Eddie asked incredulously. Robin shrugged again, raising her hands. “Look, all I’m saying is he’s explained to me his fantasies about Han Solo…” Eddie laughed, “He has fantasies about Han Solo?” Robin nodded, “Yup,” She said, popping the ‘p’ “Heard ‘em myself.” 

“In my defense, Han Solo is hot, Rob.” Steve said groggily, sitting up, watching as Eddie swallowed nervously. “Don’t worry Eds. I like you too. Ever since you pressed that bottle to my neck, ‘n if I’m being honest, you holding Flo right now only makes it worse.” Steve explained tiredly, shifting until his head was resting on Eddie’s shoulder. “We’ll talk properly later.” He said, nuzzling in, missing the way Edddie’s face had turned bright red. Robin looked at the two, a grin spreading across her face, “Told ya. Say ‘Hello’ to parenthood, Munson.” She laughed, patting him on the back, and settling into the couch for a nap, or what seemed to be the activity of the day, Eddie decided, looking around at the sleeping bodies. He sighed, looking at Flo, “Nap time it is, huh, Kid?” He said, hoisting her up onto his shoulder, holding her in place, and resting his eyes with everyone else.  

—

When he woke up, Flo was no longer in his arms, and the kids and Robin were gone too, along with Steve, who he could hear in the kitchen, relaxing him a bit. He stood up, stretching his back, sighing as it popped and cracked from sleeping on the couch. 

He wandered into the kitchen, almost falling in love with the sight in front of him. Steve was holding Flo, dancing gently around the kitchen with her in his arms as he prepared a bottle. “G’mornin’ Eds!” Steve cheered, seeming much more rested than when he last saw him. Eddie arched an eyebrow, checking his watch, gasping lightly in surprise when he realized he’d slept through the night and into the next day, no wonder his back was all jacked up. Steve walked over to him, leaning against him, sighing as Eddie wrapped his arms around him and Flo. “I know we need to talk, but let me say this before we get all serious, I’m bisexual, this isn’t some type of experiment for me, I- I’m falling in love with you Eddie.” Steve looked up at him, tears brimming his eyes, Eddie sighed, leaning further into the hug. “Stevie. I’m falling in love with you too.” 

“Really?”

“Mhm. I’m gonna kiss you now.”

“Kay,” He said, meeting Eddie’s lips in a sweet kiss, minding the baby in his arms. They pulled a part with a smooch, “We’re gonna have to get Rob to babysit,” Eddie said before leaning in to place another peck on Steve’s lips.

“Oh gross!” 

Eddie turned around, looking at Robin and the kids who’d let themselves in, holding bags of what Eddie could only guess was the holy grail of Mcdonalds breakfast. “Oh shit, breakfast?” Robin rolled her eyes, handing him the bag, “Here you go, you animal.” 

They all moved to sit around the table, eating their respective breakfasts, and talking about the dreams they’d had the night before. Steve was feeding Flo, holding her close and rubbing her belly so she didn’t get a tummy ache. Robin watched as Eddie’s eyes sparkled at the sight and she grinned, leaning over, “We make a cute family, don’t ya think?” She cooed, partially teasing. Eddie shoved her lightly, “Yeah,” he sighed, eyes still on Steve, listening to the older kids laugh as Flo burps. “We really do.”

[olderthannetfic]

Am I the only hoe like thinking that saying dumb shit like "Women who suck at writing, write fanfics... blah blah blah" is the person projecting badly at their own inability to find good shit? Bro I'm getting the feeling that some people are legit surprised when trashy romance stories are trashy romance stories. Wow geez who'da fucking thought, yeah? WHO? Get the fuck outta here lol. AO3 and original fiction by women filled with trashy shit is the same as male written trash, trashy is trashy, what the fuck do you wanna hear? Everything is filled some some trashy shit. Everything has poorly researched shit. Everything has hyperboles, or weird characterisations. The site which literally let's you publish anything has trashy shit on it? WOW! I bet your deduction skills put Sherlock to shame. It's always writing, isn't it? No one goes around farting about the same shit on youtube, or art sites, there it's like accepted that some shit is trashy and some shit is good. Not some blanket statement with the vibe of "All of AO3 is trash". Most people get it, it's not realistic. It's there to boost some serotonin, not be a fucking lecture on the facts and realities of romance, and whatever the fuck else everyone keeps crying about. If you go digging for trash you'll find it. Fuck what a surprise!! Next thing that might surprise some of you folks: If you wipe your ass you might find shit! In your case that might also happen if you wipe your face though, with all the dumb shit you say.

--

I mean... it's a cringey dude in his 20s who hasn't unlearned anti bullshit about "fetishizing" yet. People like that aren't going to engage in a worthwhile discussion and thus lose access to my blog. Same old, same old.

I presume his real beef is that he can't find m/m that he feels caters to him.

[epickiya722]

Sometime I think about Kaori. Everyone say that Kenjaku took her body before she was pregnant but I hurt myself by imagining that she and Jin waited after Yuuji's birth... And Kenjaku ruined everything and only Wasuke noticed.

I know it's not bad in itself and just a personal grief, but I don't like to see Kaori's body as Kenjaku being a mom.

I like to think that she was happy and aware she'd have Yuuji before it happened to her

Even though I am sure canon disprove that

I wanna start off by saying Wasuke was a real one, honestly. Grumpy guy he was, but he really just wanted the best for his family. He tried to warn Jin and later the same to Yuji. He wanted Yuji to have friends, so he wouldn't be lonely. He wanted his grandson to do good. Like, when that dude died in the first minutes of the season, I was actually sad.

You know that scene how Suguru's hand reacted because Satoru spoke out to him?

I feel like because of that, that also means the other bodies Kenjaku possessed could have done the same thing. Especially, if it had been a loved one that reached out.

Sometimes, I feel like with Yuji being Kenjaku's "favorite" and they being "a mother" to him isn't Kenjaku. It's Kaori, or at least half of her. I like to imagine reasons Kenjaku would want to coddle Yuji is because Kaori wants to as the mother she could have been.

And even masquerading as Suguru, those motherly feelings carried over just like her technique did. If Kenjaku made that statement how "I'm starting to act like him (Suguru)", I'm sure that masquerading as Kaori there would be times Kenjaku acted like Kaori and not even realize it.

What if Kenjaku as Kaori would rock Yuji to put him to sleep because Kaori wanted to? Sewn him baby blankets because she wanted to? Called him cute nicknames because Kaori wanted to?

What if Jin had witnessed all this and knew his wife wasn't his wife anymore but let it go because sometimes he did see his wife? If he looked hard enough, he would see the woman he fell in love with, holding the baby they wanted and not some stranger pretending to be her.

I like to imagine she was weird, but an endearing kind of weird, kind of how Yuji is. Like, she definitely would have sat through all the Human Earthworm movies with him and have the exact same opinions. A sweet woman who probably wanted to help everyone just like her son. Yuji got Jin's looks, but maybe Yuji got her personality.

Kaori probably would have been a great mom and I bet she was a great wife. It's probably how Wasuke figured out that Kenjaku wasn't Kaori because she wasn't acting like herself.

Oh my gosh, it would have been so tragic if she actually was already pregnant before Kenjaku got a hold of her. And when Kenjaku possessed her body, they messed with Yuji somehow and that's how he turned out the way he did. Like how Choso and the other Death Paintings were created, expect it wasn't done with a Cursed Spirit and why Yuji is more human than his older brothers.

[cult-of-the-eye]

MAG 86 here we goooo

Ok so I actually listened to this like a few days ago but I never got round to looking at the transcript but HERE I AM

God this is the blanket never did anything one

He says tucked in so fucking menacingly like Jesus Christ man

TIM MY LOVE

I can't get that one post out of my head that says how Tim was the furthest from being taken by the Eye cause he keeps tripping up on pronunciations and stuff in statements that other archival staff wouldnt honestly it's such a genius take

Oh shit this is getting really long I'll add in a read more

God I love how he's rebelling in every sense, he's doing the bare minimum, he's literally warning people away from it

It's kind of interesting the way he always thought the statement stuff was stupid but in the whole of season one and a lot of season two he managed to hide his distaste pretty well, like even when he lashed out at Jon about the Prentiss incident, he still didn't say that the statements were stupid, but he's saying it behind his back - maybe some part of him knew that Jon needed the statements to work and some part of him still felt for him enough to not point that out

He's kinda dramatic with it as well but I feel like in more of a self aware way than jon

You can feel his distaste honestly the statement just sounds wrong coming from him, which is interesting cause I didn't think that about when Martin did it

So he's mad at the fact that he put effort into a job that he wasn't even that comfortable with in the first place and now he's trapped in? Not about the monsters??

Jesus Christ Tim being a bit of a dick to melanie

HE BLAMES MARTIN????? Damn bro you weren't there how could you tell he didn't do it properly??

I think he's mad at himself for not being there and deflecting it on to martin

She likes that it's quiet!!! That's cute

Martin's not big on change AH neurodivergent vibes

All the archival staff are literally queer and neurodivergent you can't change my mind

Also the fact that he thinks that's the biggest reason why martin doesn't want Melanie around, not the Horrors and the same reason as Tim

I think Tim is refusing to think that Martin might see the situation in the same way as him because if he does then it means Tim's way of dealing might not be the best way and that's an unacceptable thought to him

Suspicious and resentful - my man is self aware I think he knows the way his path is going (hurtling towards destruction) but is too stuck shaking his fist at god to try and get out or he's sort of known his whole life that this is where he was supposed to end up, a terrible fate created by his own two hands that dug their own way down to rock bottom and he's just so tired of trying to do anything about it that he's just accepted it

SASHA OH GOD

Wow seeing firsthand the effects of the stranger, the way neither Tim nor Melanie can remember the real Sasha, but Tim has to live with the fact that he didn't notice and Melanie has to live with the fact that she did, but can't prove it

WHO AM I EVEN SAD FOR

AUGH I THOUGHT SOMEONE MADE THAT UP I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CANON OH GOD

He lost his FRIEND and he DIDN'T REALISE and he STILL DOESN'T KNOW THE WHOLE TRUTH AUGH

Oh I wonder why he left the tape running? I'd think he would've forgotten to turn it off but if so I feel like he'd have that shocked moment of remembering which he didn't

Maybe he wanted proof of the conversation? Maybe it was a warning to anyone listening to the tapes? See firsthand how terrible it is at the Magnus Institute so you don't work here? I dunno

Ha I had to ask my lovely mutual @melandrops to explain what a marker was

Oh god honestly this statement fucked me up I completely understand why people hate it I hate it

I was so scared of the dark as a kid and the idea of being reduced to that state of lack of awareness and vulnerability is actually terrifying

Also the dude dying in the blanket???? Ew ew ew

Love the fact that tma doesn't just go with a oh shit I forgot a torch so it was pitch black kinda horror but the I brought a torch, I even brought spare batteries but it still did nothing which in my opinion is even scarier

Oh god her whispering the blanket never did anything that was horrifying

Melanie was actually so good at giving the statement girl really got into it

I was also talking to @melandrops about archivist!Melanie cause I think that would be really interesting... she'd definitely bring a more proactive vibe to the role...

It's interesting to think that Melanie and Jon hated each other at first sort of because they're so alike? It's like the we are made of the same stuff (derogatory)

Love how she just checks out the dead guy

The way she's denying it even though she's literally had paranormal experiences before that's so Jon core she would be a great archivist

JON????

Oh shit I just realised he's labelled as Archivist...when did that happen??

That's so funny he's like bitch maybe I do have reason to kill you

Hmm nice touch of Melanie being like do you guys not want me cause I'm a girl?? Is this misogyny??? Good guess but unfortunately it's worse

It's quite nice that Jon's trying to save her even though the meetings about helping him and her quitting would mean he'd lose the one informant he might have in the institute

Shot in the leg by a ghost in India????

Ha Tim hates you and Martin's probably being watched

Love how Tim's hatred for Jon is so visceral and known that they don't even bother watching him

I bet Elias would delight in knowing about Martin's little crush on Jon and how Jon actually hated him in season one and then how their relationship progresses he'd thrive on the drama and the angst the little bastard

Ok ok it's good that he's on the right track, he guesses it was elias

Wait the whole murder was on tape... WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT TAPE??? DID ELIAS TAKE IT??? COULD IT BE USED AS EVIDENCE???

YES MELANIE IS BEING CAUGHT UP (info style) BUT ALSO NO MELANIE IS BEING CAUGHT UP (web style)

[davekat-sucks]

"I can tell you're lying about being raised in a Christian cult because you believe the vast majority of Christians support gays. Either that or your neurodivergency is flaring up again" Uh, ask most Christians about what the bible says about gay people and they will say "The bible says not to judge others." They might not support or approve of homosexuality, but they have come a long way in accepting gay people. I'd say it happened after pulse. I saw a lot of churches change their tune about how they talked about gay people. Maybe they still are homophobic but they don't feel comfortable sharing that as much as they used to. The people who talk constantly about not liking gay people are some dudes on the internet who are antisjw, and yeah there are christans that spread hate but they're the kind of person who latch on any excuse to hate on women or gay people. Religion is just convient for some assholes to justify their dumb ass slock. And holy moly... is this guy forgeting that muslims in some places will FORCE gender transitioning surgeries if a boy is caught having sex with a guy. It's become a girl or die over there. I support talking about homophobia and trying to find solutions to change people's hearts and minds on gay people but lets NOT act like american christians are honestly that bad. The west have made long strides. We should be proud of the people who see past their own disgust or hatred. That's what change really is you big goof ball! Encouraging people to be kinder and showing them the error of their thinking. IF WE BLANKET STATEMENT SAY MOST CHRISTIANS ARE BAD YOU'RE MAKING IT INTO SOME SELF FUFILLING PROFECY! Have some faith in the people around you. Christians are way kind! Darkest point of my life I had Christians help me out and they did everything to make me feel welcome. They were inspired by their faith and they wanted to share the love of God they felt with others who were in need. Don't judge any group by their worst.

A lot of people in this new gen are really ignorant about the other countries, their stances on different religions, and their customs & beliefs being far worse compared to US. To have the change, will take a lot more than just posting about activism on the Internet. Remember when segregation was a thing that they had to have separate churches because think that black people were not mentioned in the Bible. But as time went on, everyone can be under the church of God regardless of skin or race. We learn and move on to be better. And that's what happened for LGBT. We just have to ignore the bad ones out there. Display and show the actual kindness people are doing instead of glorifying the bad ones. I'm glad that you, Anon, have found wonderful people. Cherish it and be sure to do the same for others when they are need. Christian or Catholic (as the latter is from my grandma's side), I would prefer either those because JW doesn't change. It's stagnant in its beliefs. And if you try to point out some of its mistakes or errors it done before, they will try to use the whole 'Humans were born of sin, so it's natural. But THIS TIME, Armageddon will happen for sure for real source trust Jehovah....' I mean, JW is the same religion that thinks the US Government is gonna kill their asses later down the line.

[nemorialex]

The 25th June 13th

Today should have been horrible. It always was. Even if it was a “good” day, Alex’s fear, anxiety, and trauma came to tear at them, like wolves and flame to flesh… 10 years ago that was a literal statement.

That being said… Today was…

Today was good. 

Naturally, Frenchie spent the day with them. Alex probably wouldn’t survive the ordeal without him. He brought along Casey, who showed off new skirts and pelted her papa with beanbags. If there was ever a time where he earned that beautiful blue diamond badge and the title of “Moirail” it was now. A solid rock, a warm presence, and he did a damn good job of keeping them from spiraling.

Another reason for their good mood was declaring today a “baking” day. Eight pies (later totaling out to eleven) were made and sent out to friends and family. Shopping at the local consort market, out in the fresh air and bustling crowd of bubbles and chirps, provided clarity. Folding dough and measuring fillings and pipping out whipped cream took concentration that kept even their attention deficit mind occupied. They had even tried their hand at a couple of new creations! 

Dinner was also a success (when it had no right to be.) Frenchie looked amazing in his sky blue and cloudy suit, of course, and Dirk looked pretty ridiculous in a sleeveless tux. The bastard even used his new “accessory” of their sharp tooth as a tie pin, front and center. Taunting. But they weren’t going to get into that sort of fight tonight, Alex was going to keep their own dark blue suit and green tie clean of a scuffle. The restaurant that Frenchie worked at was a nicer place, but nothing RIDICULOUS like $500 garnishes or whatever; it was a good middle ground between dressing up and stressing out, and having been there a few times it familiar territory. 

Dirk gave them a gift. A piece of metal on a necklace in the shape of a tooth (bastard…) and decorated with moving, clicking, shifting parts… Something to play with? Something to solve? He also paid the check. 

After dinner, Alex went back to the boy’s home to spend the rest of the night there. Preferably cuddled up in an obscene number of pillows/blankets/plush while watching comfort movies until they fell asleep. Casey and Deb were dropped off earlier and by now they were tucked in. Or at least, they were off in a room with the door closed and pretending to be asleep. 

Before Alex could reach the cuddle pile, Zack caught them. With a jerk of the head, he lead his sibling outside to the balcony. 

“So… good day?”

“Actually…” Alex ducked their head and lowered their voice, as if some cosmic being would hear them. “Yeah… It was.”

“Cool. Good…” He nodded and looked out at the colorful dusk sky, studying those suddenly fascinating milky clouds. The silence stretched for a moment, just long enough to get a taste of the Awkward it would turn into when Zack spoke up again. 

“Obviously, I know you’re not into today.” He shrugged his shoulders in defense. “And I’m cool with that. Obviously.” 

“Obviously.” They echoed with a nod, a teasing smile playing at their lips.

“Shut up. Point is… Feels wrong to just. Let this one slide completely, y’know? It’s a milestone after all...”

“Milestone.” This echo was less teasing. It lingered as Alex collected the pieces implied. “Wait, is it?” 

“Yeah.” He looked back at them now, a teasing smile on his lips now. “You’re twenty five today, dude.” 

Alex sucked a tight breath through their teeth. Now it was their turn to see what was so fascinating about those clouds. It wasn’t as if they didn’t know their own age (and temporarily getting the dates mixed up did NOT count!) but the connections in meaning- the significance- was still there. He might as well strap a party hat to their skull and start blowing a noise maker.

Zack sighed. 

“Listen. It’s not even about today, okay? Forget about that. This is about you. You’re still my sibling. My little sister. You deserve… I dunno, something, right? Sum’in special. Lets just say it’s for the hell of it, even though making it to twenty five goddamned years with how batshit insane you are is a miracle in and of itself.” 

There was a nudge on their arm and Alex looked down at the small black box in his hand, then up at his face. He was pudgy. Not fat, per say, but his cheeks and chin were more rounded out and peachy and stubbled and healthy than- What mental picture were they trying to compare him to, here? When he was a rounder kid? When he was a re-discovered gaunt teen? When he was a muscular-by-survival young adult? Zack had called Alex his little sister. It wasn’t a forgotten slip-up, and it wasn’t out of malice. He was invoking a time long ago, built on a singularity between two, full of trust and love and defense. It felt… Okay, in this context and this instance. They understood the many, many words buried beneath the one.

Alex stared at him a moment longer as their hand slowly reached out and took the gift. A jewelry box, with a stiff and creaky hinge at the back. Inside was a clear crystal, only a couple of centimeters in diameter and completely spherical aside from the teardrop tail that connected it to a silver chain. While the outside was smooth, the inside was marred with cracks and beautiful imperfections. When Alex lifted it out of the box, those cracks within caught the last rays of sunlight and split it into a rainbow of refracted light.

“So get this, the store names each piece of jewelry, right? ‘Parently, this one’s called “Haven’s Tear.” It’s like, basically a solid fucking diamond, but. You know. Not from Earth. Think it’s got a different chemical makeup or something? Super rare, and I’m not telling you the price because you’ll shit your pants and then kill me.” 

His chuckles died at the lack of a response. Zack stayed quiet, even though they could tell he had a lot more to say. Alex looked up at him and- Wow, when did the world suddenly become wobbly and waterlogged? All at once, a hiccuping sob bubbled up out of them, those built-up tears spilling over. It was stupid! And spontaneous and weak and pointless and-!!! 

And it was a really sweet gift. With sentiment put behind it. With a little speech and a history (Zack had more to say, and Alex could see the little slip of informational paper just inside the cushioning of the box) Also it was at the end of a really, really stressful day that somehow turned out to be wonderful and–

“Thanks…” Their voice was wobbly. 

“No problem. May I?” Thankfully, Zack knew when to tone down the dramatics, but he was still being cheeky. He practically bowed and held out a hand to take their gift back. He carefully draped the chain around the front of his sibling’s heck and redid the clasp behind them, away from any loose hairs. After spinning them around by the shoulders to get a good look (the perfect fit, if he did say so himself) he closed the rest of the gap in a tight hug. Alex clung to his shirt, sniffling. 

“... You know I want to say it, right?”

Alex sniffled extra hard and gave him a wet laugh.

“Fine… Go ahead…”

He squeezed them tighter, and spoke quietly. 

“Happy birthday, Alex.”

[goodluckclove]

howdy hey

i don't know if the pep talk asks are still open but

im so sleepy and tired and i have too much work

and also my body is in pain like all the time (rip)

and i can't really find the energy to get out of bed and stuff but i do it regardless bc yk. the horrors persist and so do we /ref

Dude blanket statement, I am always open to give a pep talk. Always always. I spend pretty much all of my time writing and being stuck in my head, so actually being able to offer support to someone else though my word-shapes is incredibly validating and a great way to stop pissing myself for like ten minutes.

So yeah, chronic pain. Disabilities. i get it. I'm also disabled, although less physically and more mentally. Still, I have my days where I'm stuck in bed all day. Can't even bring myself to eat, which only makes me more upset.

Here's the thing, though - and let me put this in a way that's entirely too complex but feels right in my head and heart. Everyone is a body of water, and to make it through the day your inner self has to swim from one end of you to the other from the time you wake up till the time you go to sleep. For some healthy, neurotypical, able-bodied people, this isn't usually too hard. It's not always easy, but I believe their bodies of water are typically more still and shallow. Probably far more narrow, too - a river more than a pool.

Others have a wave pool. The kind children fill with urine and used Bandaids. Or maybe it's an ocean that doesn't have a start or end that you can see around you. You take someone treading water there and say just swim to the end, it's easy, and of course they'll be tired. Tired even at the thought of it.

What I mean to say is that people like us can't exist under the circumstances we imagine other people who have never dealt with severe medical/mental health issues have. They're playing Baulder's Gate 3 to cheer up after a stressful workday and we're out there dodging actual magic missiles from bullshit piss wizards while wondering what to eat for dinner. Neither option is better or worse or more important or less meaningful. It's just different shit.

That being said, it could help to stand. Just enjoy a little bit of movement, quietly, only for the sake of the inner you bobbing in the ocean. Basic stretches can be very soothing to get the blood moving. Maybe open a window and feel the air. Maybe get a nice drinky-drink. People say wash your face but sometimes that's hard, so what I like to do is wet a washcloth and just gently rub it over my cheeks and forehead. That's especially nice in warmer weather to cool off.

After you do all that things might feel different. You'll probably feel more awake, and suddenly the next small task won't seem as terrible. Or you'll know you still need rest, and you can just grab a nice snack since you're already up on your feet and keep on resting without pity or shame.

An apple in the fridge works. That's one of my personal favorites.

[neon-green-reagent]

I watched every Paranormal Activity movie, and I regret the majority of the process. So don't even click on this if you're not ready to hear a rant. SEVERE rant.

Wow, this is the worst franchise I've ever had the misfortune of watching. I had to POWER through these. I did it simply because... I'm a masochist? Mm, maybe. But also I'm a horror fan. And this series is beloved. And I just wanted to UNDERSTAND.

And I never will.

Because this was about 90% garbage. It is the same movie over and over and over. It's the same movie five times at least. Not in that way where people go, "oh, it's formulaic." No, I mean not a goddamn thing is different. The scares are the same. The pacing is the same. All of it is the SAME. The next time someone bitches about Friday the 13th, I'm gonna ask DO YOU LIKE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY? THEN STOP TALKING.

But I said five. There are seven movies. (seven what have i done with my life the time so much time just gone) Two of them attempted to buck the formula. The Marked Ones and Next of Kin. I don't know if I'm merely brainwashed by watching the same thing happen time and again, but I found these two films to be so refreshing. Like a cool glass of water in the desert. I actually ENJOYED them. The Marked Ones would probably work on its own if it wasn't for the fucking ending, but it genuinely did something else. When it didn't start with that NIGHT #1 shit I just about cut a flip I was so happy. Also, the characters were really genuine, and the story actually made me feel sad. I FELT A THING. And the dudes killing witches with shotguns got a grin out of me, too.

Next of Kin feels like... one of those Hellraiser movies that has Pinhead in it, but you know the original script wasn't even about him? Yeah. ONLY GOOD. It's a slow burn, but it has some truly chilling suspense as they start sneaking around in places they shouldn't be, trying to find answers. And the third act just goes hog wild. It gave me V/H/S series vibes with the creativity and the truly bonkers ending. So if you like that sort of thing like I do, try it. You don't have to watch the other movies. It's so disconnected from them.

Oh, and Next of Kin was the franchise killer. They probably won't make anymore, because it bombed so bad. I want to cackle at the sky. Audiences really are that vapid. They could not handle being shown something different.

The one thing that sort of kept me going with the series was Katie as a character. When you watch her boyfriend basically abuse her until she becomes demon possessed, you can't help but root for her. Her becoming a vessel for evil just kinda seems like... good for her territory. There's something to that, I guess, but it's so fucking minor. She becomes less and less of the focus with each movie, and then when they decide young actors will suffice, it gets unwatchable. Because, no, I don't want to see kids try to improv. Spare me, please.

Normally this is not what I'd do. I'd rank them. This would be all structured and nice and excited. But then I realized what would be the point of me going AND IT SUCKED AND IT SUCKED AND IT SUCKED AND THIS WAS OKAY AND THIS ONE WAS ACTUALLY GOOD FOR ONCE. Like I can't do that. I'd rather not go through each movie saying the same thing, because they are all the same thing. I'd rather just make a nice, healthy, blanket statement. Series BAD.

If someone hate read this for some bizarre reason, tell me why they're good. Tell me why I'm wrong. GIVE ME SOMETHING. Convince me. Don't cuss me out and call me a whatever new internet slang for stupid person. Give me something real here. What is it about this that has so captured audiences and made it a modern classic?