#and so much of myself feels completely out of reach.

[writetheidea]

Too Much to Be Enough - part 2

Hi, I wrote the second part of this fanfiction while juggling my thesis, so I apologize if there are any mistakes. Please feel free to point them out in my DMs or asks—I'd really appreciate it. I couldn't bring myself to just write pure fluff without adding a bit of angst. As I mentioned in the story, rebuilding trust isn't a straightforward process. I hope you enjoy it!

Part 1

Pairing: Franco Colapinto x female character

Plot: after deeply hurting his girlfriend, Franco learns how hard it is to rebuild their relationship, learning that trust, once broken, is a delicate and painstaking process to restore.

Tag: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff.

Word count: 3178

Disclaimers: english is not my first language - I feel like you could tell from my writing style - so I apologize if some of the sentences structures are off, or if I use outdated or inappropriate-for-the-context words, I used a synonym dictionary to try and stop myself from repeating the same words, I still did do that though.

Franco had always been a man of control. On the racetrack, precision wasn’t just a skill; it was survival. Every turn, every decision, required complete mastery over chaos. Off the track, he wasn’t much different, carrying that same calculated demeanor into his personal life. The way he managed his career, his relationships, even the smallest aspects of his daily routine, all reflected his need to remain unshakable. Control was his armor, his identity. But this—watching the woman he loved drift further away because of his carelessness—was a storm he couldn’t navigate.

He had made a mistake. A single moment of thoughtlessness, a few careless words, the laughter that followed, had been enough to tear open the foundation of trust they had spent years building. The memory replayed endlessly in his mind, gnawing at him like a relentless tide. He could see it all too clearly: the way her face fell, how her voice quivered when she confronted him. She hadn’t screamed or shouted; she hadn’t even cried at first. She had just gone quiet, her silence heavier than any words could have been. It spoke of wounds too deep for words, a disappointment that no apology could touch.

At first, he had thought the tension might dissipate after a day or two. He had underestimated the depth of the wound he had inflicted. What followed was a purgatory of silence. She didn’t leave outright, but her presence was a ghost of what it had been. She avoided his touch, his gaze, even his attempts at conversation. The vibrant, warm woman he loved so fiercely had become a shadow, navigating their shared spaces like a stranger. Franco’s every attempt to bridge the gap between them fell flat—flowers went untouched, her favorite pastries remained uneaten, and the small notes he left for her disappeared without acknowledgment. It was as though she was erasing him piece by piece, and he could do nothing to stop it.

The silence was unbearable. He missed her laughter, the way she would light up when she spoke about her favorite books or dreams for the future. He missed the way she would reach for him instinctively, as though he was her safe harbor. Now, he felt like a trespasser in his own life, each moment with her a painful reminder of what he had broken. 

On the third night after the fight, Franco found himself sitting on their couch, his hands clasped tightly together. The room felt impossibly large, every corner of it carrying memories of better times. He could picture her curled up on the other side of the couch, her laughter filling the space as she recounted some silly anecdote or read him a passage from one of her favorite books. Now, the silence was deafening. He had spent hours going over what he might say to her, how he might begin to repair what he had broken, but words failed him.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. “Please,” he said softly, his voice trembling. “I can’t stand this. Tell me what to do—tell me how to make this right.”

She didn’t even look at him, her gaze fixed somewhere distant. “What’s the point?” she said quietly. “You’ve already shown me what you think of me. You agreed with them, Franco. You laughed at me like I was a joke.”

Her voice broke on the last word, and Franco felt the full weight of her hurt settle over him. “That’s not true,” he said desperately. “I wasn’t thinking—”

“No,” she interrupted, finally turning to face him, her eyes flashing with rare anger. “You weren’t thinking. But that doesn’t change what you said. Or what you did.” Her voice cracked, and for the first time, Franco could see just how deeply he had hurt her. “Do you even understand how small that made me feel? Like I was some kind of joke? Like I’ll never be enough for you?” 

She paused, her face now showing the pain she had been harboring beneath the surface “What else do you want me to say, Franco? That I’m hurt? That I feel like I’ll never be enough for you now? You already know that”

Her words cut deeper than any insult, the quiet resignation in her voice tearing him apart. “You are enough,” he said fervently, reaching for her hand. “You’ve always been enough. I was stupid, careless—I didn’t mean what I said.”

“But you did,” she replied, pulling her hand away. “Maybe you didn’t mean for me to hear it, but you meant it. And I can’t unhear it, Franco. I can’t forget the way you agreed with them, the way you laughed about me like I was some… inconvenience.”

Her voice broke on the last word, and Franco felt his chest tighten, guilt clawing at him like a relentless tide. “I love you,” he said desperately. “I love everything about you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I can’t lose you.”

She looked at him for a long moment, her eyes searching his face as if trying to find some trace of the man she had once trusted so completely. “Love isn’t supposed to hurt like this,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “And right now, being with you… it hurts.”

His throat tightened as he searched for words, but there was nothing he could say that would undo the damage. “You are everything to me,” he said finally, his voice raw. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it if I have to.”

-----

But words weren’t enough, and he knew it. That night, she moved to the guest room, leaving their bed and a gaping void in his heart. He lay awake for hours, staring at the ceiling and replaying every moment he had failed her, every time he had taken her love for granted. He thought of her kindness, her patience, the way she had always believed in him, even when he doubted himself. And now, when she needed him most, he had failed to be the man she deserved.

The next morning, he woke to find her gone. A note on the counter said she was staying with a friend for a few days. He stared at the words until they blurred, his chest aching with the realization that she needed space from him—that being near him caused her pain. He couldn’t blame her for that, but it didn’t make it any easier to bear.

He threw himself into trying to make amends, even if she wasn’t there to see it. He cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, cooked her favorite meals, and set the table with candles and fresh flowers every day, hoping it might offer a small measure of comfort when she returned. The evening when she finally walked through the door, she paused, her eyes scanning the room before landing on him.

“What’s all this?” she asked, her voice wary.

“I thought we could have dinner together,” he said, his voice hesitant. “I know it doesn’t fix anything, but I thought… I just wanted to do something for you.”

She hesitated for a moment before sitting down at the table. They ate in near silence, the tension between them almost unbearable. He tried to ask about her day, her friend, anything to fill the void, but her answers were curt, her gaze fixed on her plate. By the time they finished, Franco felt more defeated than ever.

As she stood to leave, he reached for her hand, his grip gentle but firm. “Please. I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said. “Just tell me how to make this better.”

She looked down at him, her eyes filled with exhaustion. “I don’t know if you can,” she said softly. “But if you want to try, then stop looking for shortcuts. This isn’t about flowers or dinners. It’s about showing me that I matter to you—not just when it’s easy, but when it’s hard. It’s about showing me—every day—that you love me for who I am, not despite it.”

-----

From that moment on, Franco dedicated himself to proving his love, not through grand gestures but in the quiet, unremarkable moments of daily life. He began paying attention to the things she cared about—remembering the books she mentioned wanting to read, making sure her favorite tea was always stocked in the pantry, and taking over chores she usually handled so she wouldn’t have to. He didn’t push her to talk or try to force her forgiveness; instead, he gave her the space she needed, even when it hurt to keep his distance.

The process was slow and often discouraging. There were days when she barely acknowledged his efforts, her walls still firmly in place. But there were also small victories—like the time she laughed, a soft, unguarded sound that felt like sunlight breaking through the clouds. Or the day she found a note he had left in her book that simply said, “I see you. And I love you.” She didn’t say anything about it, but later that evening, she made them tea and sat beside him on the couch, the silence between them no longer quite so heavy.

-----

Franco thought he was making progress. Slowly but surely, she was beginning to let him in again. The walls she’d built around herself were still there, but they had started to crack. She smiled a little more often, lingered at the dinner table to talk about her day, and once, when they were watching an old movie on the couch, she leaned into him without pulling away. Each small step felt monumental, and Franco held onto the hope that one day, she might fully trust him again.

But trust, he learned, was fragile.

It happened at a party—a glamorous event hosted by one of Franco’s sponsors. He had been reluctant to go, worried about the strain it might put on their delicate truce, but she had insisted. “You shouldn’t have to give up your life because of me,” she said. He had taken her words as a sign that things were improving between them, a sign that she was ready to be part of his world again.

The evening started well enough. She looked stunning in a sleek, dark dress, her hair framing her face. Franco couldn’t take his eyes off her, and for a moment, he felt like the luckiest man in the room. They mingled with the crowd, exchanging polite pleasantries with sponsors and fellow racers. She held her own beautifully, her sharp wit and quiet confidence earning smiles and laughter from everyone she spoke to.

Then came the moment that undid everything.

Franco had stepped away to get them drinks, and when he returned, he overheard a group of men making crude jokes about her. The words were vile—reducing her to nothing more than a pretty accessory, a trophy to be paraded around. Franco’s blood boiled, but instead of stepping in to defend her, he froze. He laughed awkwardly, muttered something dismissive, and walked away.

What he didn’t realize was that she had overheard, her expression a mask of disbelief and hurt as she stood just out of view.

Later that night, as they drove home, the tension in the car was suffocating. She stared out the window, silent, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Franco tried to fill the void with small talk, but each word felt hollow.

Finally, she turned to him, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, though he already knew.

“I heard them, Franco. I heard what they said about me. And I heard you laugh. Again.”

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “It wasn’t like that,” he said quickly. “I didn’t mean—”

“You didn’t mean what? To defend me? To show them that I’m more than the joke they made me out to be?” Her voice cracked, and she turned away, shaking her head. “I thought you were different. I thought you respected me.”

“I do respect you,” he said, his voice rising. “I didn’t know what to say—I panicked.”

“Panicked?” she repeated, her voice dripping with disbelief. “I was standing there, Franco. Listening to them degrade me, waiting for you to have my back. And you panicked?”

The argument spilled into their apartment, growing louder and more painful with each passing moment. By the time it was over, she was packing a bag, tears streaming down her face as she threw clothes into a suitcase.

“Please don’t do this,” Franco said, his voice raw. “Don’t leave. We can fix this.”

She stopped, her hands trembling as she gripped the edge of the suitcase. “You don’t get it, do you?” she said, her voice shaking. “This isn’t just about tonight. It’s about every time you’ve made me feel small, every time you’ve chosen your pride or your reputation over me. I can’t do this anymore.”

And with that, she was gone.

-----

The months that followed were the darkest of Franco’s life. She didn’t answer his calls or texts, and when he went to her friend’s house to see her, he was turned away at the door. For the first time, he had to confront the possibility that he might have lost her for good.

Franco threw himself into therapy, desperate to understand why he kept sabotaging the one thing that mattered most to him. His sessions were grueling, forcing him to confront parts of himself he had long ignored—the insecurities he buried beneath his arrogance, the fear of vulnerability that drove him to push people away.

He also began writing her letters, pouring his heart onto the page in a way he had never been able to do in person. He didn’t know if she would ever read them, but it was the only way he could process his feelings.

Months passed. Slowly, Franco began to change—not for her, but for himself. He realized that he couldn’t ask her to come back if he wasn’t willing to become the man she deserved.

Then, one day, he received an unexpected text.

“Meet me at the park tomorrow at 2.”

His heart leapt, but he forced himself to temper his expectations. When he arrived, she was sitting on a bench, her posture stiff, her expression guarded.

“I got your letters,” she said, her voice quiet.

“And?” he asked, his heart pounding.

“They were… honest,” she admitted. “But honesty doesn’t erase what happened.”

“I know,” he said. “I don’t expect you to forgive me—not yet, maybe not ever. But I want you to know that I’m trying. I’m working on myself, and not just because I want you back. I need to be better, for me. For whoever I become, with or without you.”

She studied him for a long moment, her eyes searching his face. “I don’t know if I can trust you again,” she said finally. “But I’m willing to try. Slowly. On my terms.”

“I’ll wait as long as it takes,” he said, his voice steady. “I’m not going anywhere.”

-----

True to her word, she made Franco work for her trust. There were no shortcuts, no grand declarations that could fix what was broken. If he wanted to be in her life again, he had to earn his place every single day.

Their relationship became a fragile thread, held together by small, cautious interactions. They started meeting once a week for coffee, their conversations polite but distant. She kept him at arm’s length, her walls firmly in place. Franco didn’t push; he simply showed up, week after week, ready to prove himself.

One day, as they walked through the park after coffee, she turned to him abruptly. “Why didn’t you stand up for me?” she asked, her voice trembling.

The question caught him off guard, but he didn’t shy away from it. “Because I was afraid,” he admitted. “Afraid of looking weak, afraid of being judged. But mostly… afraid that if I stood up for you and got it wrong, you’d see me as a failure.”

Her eyes softened, but her expression remained guarded. “And now?”

“Now I realize that failing you is worse than failing in front of anyone else,” he said. “If I ever get the chance again, I promise you, I won’t let you down.”

She nodded slowly, her gaze distant. “We’ll see.”

The weeks turned into months, and their connection began to deepen again. She started sharing more of herself, though cautiously, and Franco matched her vulnerability with his own. He told her about the therapy sessions, about the childhood insecurities that had shaped his need for control and approval. It was a side of him she had never seen before, and while it didn’t erase the past, it gave her hope that he was truly changing.

-----

It wasn’t a single moment that brought them back together, but a series of small ones—acts of kindness, vulnerability, and unwavering support. Franco became a man she could rely on, not just in words but in actions. He stood up for her, prioritized her needs, and made her feel seen and valued in every aspect of their lives.

There were moments when he doubted himself, wondering if he was fighting a losing battle. And there were nights when he lay awake, haunted by the memory of her tears, the sound of her voice breaking as she told him how much he had hurt her. Through it all, he held onto the hope that one day, she would see how much he loved her—that she would believe it, not because he said it, but because he showed it in every action, every choice he made.

One rainy afternoon, he decided to try something different. He pulled out a cookbook she had always loved but rarely used and flipped to a page with a recipe for her favorite cake. He was hopeless in the kitchen, but he wanted to try—to show her that he was willing to make an effort, no matter how small. When she came home and found him fumbling with ingredients, the sight stopped her in her tracks.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice tinged with incredulity.

“Trying to make your cake,” he said, holding up a whisk like it was a weapon. “It’s probably going to be terrible, but I thought—”

She interrupted him with a soft laugh. “You’re going to burn the kitchen down.”

“Maybe,” he said, grinning sheepishly. “But I figured it was worth the risk.”

She stepped toward him, closing the distance that had felt insurmountable for so long. “You’re ridiculous,” she said, but her tone was warm, her eyes soft as she reached for the whisk. “Let me help you.”

As they cooked together, bumping elbows and laughing at his mistakes, Franco felt something shift. It wasn’t complete trust—not yet—but it was a beginning. And as he watched her smile, he realized that this was what love was: not grand gestures or perfect moments, but showing up, every day, and choosing each other even when it was hard.

[back2bluesidex]

Slide - The Trial - MYG

Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader 

Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?

Word count: 1.1k+

Summary: 

"Caught in a daze, I persuade her with my own complications"

Alternatively, 

You have some questions and Yoongi has no answer.

Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics

Warnings: Angst, reader's turning point. Yoongi's suffering has began.

Minors do not interact!!

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Patreon (for early access)

Taglist requests are closed for now

A/N: another Yoongi's pov. before we dive into reader's post miscarriage angst. also, I have tagged everyone who asked to be tagged after I closed the request for the first time but I have only tagged the blogs which have age mentioned in their bios.

Read the next chapter

“I want a daughter first and then… ummm… probably a son too. We will name her Yunri. Yoongi plus Gyuri, Yunri.” Gyuri had told him once, latching onto his arm as if it meant everything to her. 

Yoongi knew he should have felt warmth bubbling in his chest, he knew he should have felt giddy but what he felt was dread running through the entire course of his body. 

Getting married, having kids are two of the things he never planned for in life - not even when he fell in love with Gyuri, not even when he got engaged to her somewhat against his own will. 

But now he feels weird, he feels something really really uncomfortable in his chest as he stares at your weak frail form weeping while sitting at the couch. 

His own limbs feel like jelly as he realizes again that you were pregnant and the baby was his. 

A baby - his and yours. 

Why doesn’t it feel so dreadful anymore? 

Yoongi puts the entire weight of his body on his arms and pushes himself off of the ground. His toes carry his body towards you. 

But he is afraid - what if you push him away now? What if you break when he touches you? 

What if you scatter and disappear in fine dust as soon as he gets close to you? 

What if… what if… all of this is a dream? 

You don’t look at him when he silently sits beside you. It hurts him but he knows better than putting the blame on you. 

If anyone is to be blamed, then it’s him for sure. 

Yoongi opens his mouth to say something - anything. But he only gapes like a fish out of water because his thoughts don’t form a coherent sentence. 

Your face is covered with your small palms, Yoongi wants to reach out, clutch those and apologize to you until you forgive him for all the damages he has done. 

But he can’t. 

Again he is afraid to break you even more. 

“Why.. why didn’t you tell me?” Yoongi doesn’t recognize his own voice when it leaves his throat. There is much more pain than he has heard himself speak with in a while - certainly for the first time after Gyuri left. 

You sniff, then rub tears off your eyes and stare blankly at the ceiling.

The scene is awfully similar to your and his first night together. He still recalls losing himself in those dark eyes of yours little by little and then finally diving into your abyss.  

“There are tons of reasons why. But even if I did, would it change anything?” your voice is completely opposite of his - steady, firm, doesn’t bear a single hint of all the tears he has been watching you shade. 

You are truly just another version of him. 

“That doesn’t answer my question, Y/N. Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” Yoongi scoots a little closer to your body. 

You sigh, a deep, resigned sigh that says you are exhausted - both mentally and physically. 

“If I told you, wouldn’t you think that this is an excuse? For keeping you all to myself? For not letting you go back to the only woman you have ever loved? Wouldn’t you, Yoongi?” You finally look at him, eyes red with continuous crying. 

Yoongi can’t stare into your eyes now. He is ashamed because you are right. He would have thought you are just like other women out there - trying to latch onto him for god knows what. 

He licks his lips instead, prepares to say something but you cut him off again. 

“Also you said … you don’t want to have kids.” your voice trembles now. 

Again you are right - Yoongi definitely doesn’t want kids. But then why losing your and his baby tugs painfully at his heartstrings? 

Why? 

“But I am responsible for your pregnancy, I- I should have been there for you.” Yoongi tries to reach out for your hand but you move away, standing on your weak feet. 

“There’s no point of regretting now. The baby is gone.” you inhale a long breath and then continue, “but I really want to know what you are doing here? At this hour? Right after rejecting me?” 

Yoongi stands up too, somewhat hyper, “I didn’t reject you. I was- I was just shocked. You ran away before- before I got to utter a single word, Y/N. I wanted to go after you but-” 

“But then the right person came to claim you and you ended up lost in her lips, am I right?” you don’t scream but anger is evident in your voice anyway. 

Yoongi recalls the doctor asking him not to stress you out any more. 

“It was a trial, Y/N. Me and Gyuri getting back together was a trial. I knew it wasn’t a good idea but when she begged me- I- I couldn’t say no. I knew I was hurting you too and I thought getting back with her would set you free. But I- I was wrong. I wasn’t free myself. I kept thinking of you.” Yoongi stops, gulps the lump in his throat and proceeds to continue, “I know I sound selfish but I got attached to you during our time together. And it is not meaningless to me as you happen to believe. You are more meaningful than most of the people in my life… including Gyuri. I… I broke things off with her, this time forever. And I came to tell you that… that I want to try being with you. If you’d let me.” 

You scoff, “and why so? Why do you want to try being with me?” 

Your question renders Yoongi speechless. He doesn’t know the answer to your question. 

“Tell me, Yoongi, why do you want to try? What is it that you feel for me?” you press more. Your new found determination of cornering him shocks him, but he knows he is the one to blame. 

And now that he wonders the answers, he can’t find any firm sentence to offer you. 

He still doesn’t know what he feels for you. 

“I- I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel for you.” 

You laugh, dry but dripping with amusement and anger, “then I would ask you to leave. You may only come back with the thought of getting together with me when you are sure about my place in your life.” 

You slowly walk away from him, taking careful steps towards your bedroom. 

Yoongi stands there as he feels the void in his chest getting bigger and bigger. A tear escapes his eyes but he still doesn’t know what he is crying for - you? The unborn baby? Or himself? 

His real trial, probably, begins here. 

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[munefille]

𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐑-

yandere!false angel x gn.reader

cw: gore, death, attempted sa (not by yandere)

2.2k; not proofread bc I believe in myself. based on this imagine.

what were you expecting, venturing this far into the woods at night? there's something stalking you from behind the trees. a terrible beast watches and you are powerless to its mercy. luckily, your prayers are answered; not by god, but by the angel covered in red.

The wind was the first thing you noticed. It was still, not even a breeze licked at your skin, nor a sudden chill digging into your bones. Cold, yes, the cold remained even without the slashing wind. The sun dipped farther and farther below the skyline as you walked, taking with it the last remnants of warmth. You tugged your shawl tighter around your form.

Regret began to seep into you. What were you doing in these dark woods? There could be packs of wolves, or bears, or mountain lions, or another predator searching for a meal out there, you being a prime target. A shudder raced down your spine. As terrifying as the thought of being ripped apart by wild creatures was, you were almost certain it would be worse to be caught by him.

You glanced behind you, into the maw of dark trees and snow covered ground from which you came. Threats of what he promised to do to you should you be found echoed through your mind, motivating you to ignore the weariness in your muscles and push forward.

You chided yourself at your predicament- the huntsman seemed so kind. He promised you a warm bed and a meal for the night while you waited out the snow, mentioning how he understood the difficulty of traveling during the winter months. He made good conversation, although he spoke little of himself. You doubted he would present to be a threat towards you. How wrong you were.

Oh yes, he provided a meal and a bed for you, but neither were out of the kindness of his heart. No, apparently there was an expectation that you were going to service him in some way- to which you promptly refused. It was then that his true nature began to reveal itself. The huntsman grabbed one of his weapons, threatening to get his rightful payment since nothing comes for free. He wasn't going to let you leave otherwise.

You were lucky to have made it out of the door. You booked it, running in whatever direction you were facing, which happened to be the thick, untamed forest. He was searching for you, that much you knew. You could hear the howls of his hunting dogs somewhere behind you, sniffing you out.

Panic was starting to set in. What were you going to do? It was cold, you were running out of stamina, and you had no clue where you were or how long it would take to reach another village. These woods seemed to stretch for hundreds of acres, completely uninhabited by people. It was easy to get lost here you imagined, the tall trees melded into each other at some point. You could be going in one big circle for all you knew.

Besides the clearly psychotic man on your trail, the woods itself concerned you. There was a distinct feeling that said you aren't supposed to be here. As if the trees were going to wrap around your limbs and pull you apart on their own. You knew that was unlikely, but still- something in the back of your mind remained aware of the fact that you were bordering territory that would not welcome you. Maybe it was because you recalled the horror stories of people who entered and never came out- or they returned with not all of them attached.

Another howl cut through the air, snapping you out of your rumination. It was much closer this time. Frighteningly close. Close enough that you wouldn't be able to outrun it from where you were. There was only one other choice- hide. You scanned your surroundings, searching for something that would cover you. There was a small clearing up ahead and woods on both sides of you. The trees were too thin, but there were a couple of fallen ones and an uprooted trunk that created an opening just large enough for you to crawl into and hide behind. It would have to work.

You tucked yourself in, heart hammering frantically in your chest. He was so close now that you could hear his boots crunching against the freshly fallen snow. The chuffs of his dogs resounded in your ears like deafening booms, each one ready to rat you out.

"We could've done this the easy way, you know." The huntsman spoke into the silence, voice dripping with malice. Your heart dropped. Did he know you were nearby?

Your hands covered your mouth, trying to prevent yourself from breathing too loud. You could see him now, he was a couple feet ahead of you in the clearing. A large hunting knife glistened in the moonlight. Heavy realization set in, he was going to kill you.

And there was nothing you could do to stop him.

If you ran, one of his dogs would surely chase after you. You had no weapons to fight him with nor the strength to go against his much more well prepared form. The cold sapped at your energy, making it a chore just to keep yourself alert. The adrenaline helped, but it wouldn't last forever.

You did the only thing you could do. Pray.

You clasped your hands together as you waited, shutting your eyes and mouthing pleas to whoever would answer. Even if you had never been one to pray before, the imminent threat of your mortality was enough to make you chant feverishly for mercy.

And an answer you got.

The huntsman paused, shushing his mutts while sticking his nose up to the sky. Then it happened.

It was almost too quick for you to catch- one minute he was standing in the clearing, the next he was dangling above the trees. A white flash of feathers came down upon him, plucking his form like a mouse caught by a vicious hawk. With a powerful beat of the creature's wings he disappeared out of sight, far above the canopy of the trees. His dogs cried out for their master, but even they retreated into the safety of the brush for fear of being snatched.

One long, haunting death screech pierced the once still air for just a few seconds before abruptly quieting. There was barely any time to process what you saw or what had happened when splatters of red rained down from the sky, staining the white snow like paint on a canvas. Something round and fleshy dropped and landed on the snowy floor with a cracking sound, almost similar to a coconut.

You strained your eyes to see what it was.

A... head.

Not long after the creature swooped back down with the remaining parts of the huntsman, holding his corpse up to its mouth like a cat with a large rat. You shifted ever so slightly from your hidden position where you could get a proper look at it while it seemed distracted.

The scene was horrible, but you couldn't stop the awe that crossed your mind as you gazed at it. Two large, white wings speckled with blood emerged from the pale being's back. So pale it was that it practically blended into the snow.

The more you looked, the more you thought it seemed to appear more humanoid than creature, so reminiscent of the angelic sculptures you would see watching over graveyards. From the great wings, to the long white hair, it was nearly exact to how you would picture heaven's inhabitants to appear. Except, they couldn't capture how overwhelming the presence of it was. Utterly magnetic in a way you couldn't describe, a kind of beauty not defined by humanity.

you've been rescued by an angel.

It came right when you called, in your greatest time of need, like it had already been watching. Like a guardian angel.

Distracted by your realization, you didn't notice eyes locking onto your hiding form.

-

He missed one.

Warm blood trailed down his lips, dripping onto the white ground below. A human thing was hiding in the foliage, behind the broken trees.

He focused back on the body in his grasp. So loud and annoying, parading about his territory, hunting his prey. The deer were already scarce this winter, but the human had scared off the remaining few. Other prey were not as abundant. Humans he did not often approach, but everything was fair game in his domain.

He took a bite of the neck, the flesh tearing apart like filled dough. The metallic taste caused his wings to rustle in delight. He almost forgot the tenderness of human meat, rich with fat and underdeveloped muscles from a life of comfort. As of late, there had been less and less willing to enter the deep woods where he roamed, most likely due to what ends up being leftover of those who do.

His attention is drawn back to the one who tried to hide. Amusing, it hasn't run yet. Maybe it knows that it has no chance if it runs, even in the crowded trees his form is lithe enough to maneuver around the branches much better than the human can. It must've thought that the only viable option is to wait for him to finish and leave. Such a plan might've worked, if he was a much less vigilant predator.

The body is dropped onto the snow with a thud, entrails spilling out of the half eaten man. He was in a good mood, not only was the problematic creature dead but he had just gotten a meal along with it. Maybe he would decide to do something else with the remaining one.

Slowly, he turns his head in the human's direction.

-

The angel is approaching you.

It's now crouched, no longer standing on two legs; instead slinking towards you like a cat. You would be terrified by the sight of this massive creature covered in blood targeting you had you not already made up your mind that is must be your guardian angel.

When it is close enough to reach out to you, it pauses. It cocks its head, temporarily parting the hair covering its face to reveal pale, blanched purple eyes. Its- his- face was decidedly masculine, you thought. The wings on his back are folded close to his form, reducing any drag they could've caused.

Your heart is pumping, but this time not out of fear- no, you're enthralled by this opportunity.

The angel opened his mouth, uttering words that made you freeze.

"Be not afraid."

You think your pulse stopped for a solid moment. The voice was somehow quiet, yet cold and not quite reassuring. It surprised you that he could even speak in the first place. The smell of metallic blood and pine was noticeable. You reach out shakily, just slightly touching his hair. Your fingers meet the white threads, long and thin, like spider webs. The creature flinched in surprise at your boldness, but didn't move away.

The question tumbled out of your mouth before you could regret saying it. "Are you... are you my guardian angel?"

The angel fixed you with an unreadable expression. You thought he was confused for a second, before he stood up to his full height, no longer face to face with your form curled up in the branches. You couldn't help the raw unease that came to you then, he must've been nearly twice your height, taller than any man you had ever seen.

"Angel?" it repeated, looking down at you. "Your angel?"

Your mouth felt dry. The wind started picking up again, gliding through his feathers and into your bones. There were two options being presented to you; either you were right, and this being was an angel, or you were wrong. You didn't want to imagine what was standing before you if you were wrong, especially not after witnessing what became of the huntsman.

He seemed to consider this, staring down at you with strange intensity. His eyes were once again covered by hair, making his expression even more difficult to decipher.

A tense few moments passed before he spoke again. "Would an angel show you mercy? Lead you out of the woods to run back home?"

You nodded your head, still not daring to move. He bends down to pet your head, lips curling up subtly at your reaction.

True to his word, the angel did lead you out of the forest- although you lagged behind significantly and weren't nearly as swift navigating through it. It was a wonder how something so large moved as fast as he did. You were beyond grateful, thanking whatever higher power had listened to you. It was unlikely you would've made it out yourself, even with the huntsman gone. The woods were not friendly to outsiders.

You didn't say a word as you followed, too busy keeping up to ask any more questions. Tiredness overcame you as well now that your survival mode was beginning to wear off, leaving you sluggish and inattentive.

When you reached the treeline outside of the huntsman's cabin, you looked back up at your savior to thank him, only to be met with nothing but the breeze.

"Thank you." You whispered, regardless of whether or not you would be heard. The thought of your experience being a trauma induced hallucination crossed your mind, one you would consider if it wasn't for the fact that there was a large white feather caught by a tree limb beside you.

It was now almost morning. The sun was preparing to rise over the horizon soon.

You trekked your way back home, unaware of the new pair of eyes following you from the sky.

[kooksvspogues]

Happy 1st Birthday Lilian!! 🥳

Part 3 -

Authors note: I am so touched at the love and support I have gotten from every single one of you. Hope you enjoy part 3 just as much, thank you for being here! ❤️ and don’t forget that every bit of feedback is greatly appreciated!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay okay, put it back, let it do it’s magic” she laughed grabbing the bottle from me as I give her a look. “Nope, I don’t like that look, I know what it means. Like I said earlier, just keep an open mind about it, okay?” She whispered

“Yeah, totally” I answer back before she smiles and pulls me towards the patio. I look around trying to find Lilian only to find her still in Drew’s arms, “can I have her?” I walk over to him sitting at the table.

“Yeah..” he starts, handing her over to me, “you look great, by the way” he whispers to me when I lean down to grab her

“Thanks, you too.” I say, immediately feeling myself cringe on the inside as I stand back up straight.

“You ready?” Mack asks walking up to me with Lil’s floaty.

“Lils, you ready to go swiiiim?” I say to her tapping her chest with my pointer finger making her smile and kick her legs around, “well I’ll take that as a yes” I laugh following Mack down the steps of the pool, feeling chill bumps go all over my body as soon as my feet touch the cool water.

Once my body starts to adjust to the cool water, I go in more and slowly let Lil’s feet go in the water, bringing them up quickly allowing her to adjust too, a little at a time until she was completely good. I sat her in her floaty and pushed her around talking to Mack.

“Y’all want a drink?” Logan hollers to us

“Yeah, hand me two of those wine coolers” Mack tells him, “I’ve been wanting you to try one of these” she tells me as she goes over the side to wait on Logan to bring them to her.

I grab one of Lilian’s pool toys and hand it to her, keeping my focus on her completely. Who wouldn’t? She’s adorable. But when I glance up to grab the wine cooler out of Mack’s hands, I see two sets of blue eyes on me.

“Don’t ever grow up Lilian” I whisper to her in a silly voice causing her to smile up at me. I glance back up for a second, catching the one set of eyes still looking at me, Drew. Manspreading, leaned back, both of his hands interlocked against the back of his head, watching me, slowly starting to smirk at me once he realizes I’m staring too, but water being splashed on me quickly grabs my attention, I look over to see Logan underwater swimming up next to me

“Y’all stop being boring and get in!” Mack yells at the boys still up on the deck.

“That any good?” Logan asked splashing me again

“Huh? What do you mean?” I ask

“The drink?” He asked looking at me confused

“Oh um…” I say looking down, realizing I haven’t even opened it. I pull the tab quickly and take a sip, “it’s alright, wanna try?” I answer quickly as he just laughs.

“Mhmm” he chuckles taking the cab from me

“What?” I ask quickly

“Nothing at all Mads” he smiled making me look at him confused.

“Stop being weird” I said pushing him lightly

“Who’s being weird?” Austin asks walking up to us, smiling at me.

“Logan, per usual” I laugh as Mack and Chase both join us.

“You love it” Logan says as I reach up and pat his cheek

“So much” I say giving him a sarcastic smile as he rolls his eyes.

“Drew, bring your ass!” Logan yells as we all glance up at him still sitting in the chair. He looks unsure at first but I quickly give him a small smile and he quickly gets up, walking towards the steps to get in before walking over towards us.

“Anybody want to play a game?” Austin asks

“Like what?” Chase asks

“Uhh, Mack, don’t you have that inflatable beer pong table?” He asks

“Ooo yeah, it’s in the closet, let me go get it, Maddie, come help with the drinks” she says grabbing my hand dragging me towards the steps before drying ourselves off and heading inside to find the beer pong table.

“What are we putting in the solo cups?” I ask her

“Vodka?” She asks and I start laughing

“Really? Vodka?” I laugh

“I think it’ll be fine” she smiled

“Me and vodka don’t mix, you know that” I tell her crossing my arms

“Then you better hope nobody makes it in your cup” she smiled at me as she pulled out the box with the table in it, “got it, gonna take this to the boys, be right back to help with the drinks.” I walked into the kitchen to find the solo cups and the bottle of vodka.

“Need any help?” Austin smiled coming around the corner

“I might could use your help with carrying everything out” I smiled

“I can do that, Mack is trying to find the air pump, so she asked me to come help” he said

“Of course she did” I chuckled shaking my head slightly

“So uh, how’d you and Mack meet?” He asked

“College, freshman year, we were 2 dorms down from each other and ended up becoming good friends and after first semester, we were roommates till we graduated” I explained

“She’s pretty awesome” he says

“The best” I agree

“You from here or?” He asked

“Born and raised, what about you?” I ask looking up at him

“Ohio actually” he smiled

“I’ve never met anybody from Ohio before” I chuckle

“Well now ya have” he smiled, “and what an honor it is to be your first” he said before scrunching his nose and eyes, his cheeks going tomato red “that sounded a lot better in my head”

“You’re good, it happens” I laugh, “but I do think we should just take the cups and vodka out fill them up outside instead of in here” I point out

“I agree, here, I’ll take it” he said reaching over to grab the cups and bottle. “Whose idea was vodka?” He raised an eyebrow as I cocked my head up at him, raising my eyebrows. “Nevermind” he said making me laugh as I lead the way out towards the back, closing the door behind him.

They have the beer pong table aired up and waiting in the water for the cups. I hop in the water before reaching up for Austin to hand me the cups before sliding into the water after me. I walk over to the table where Drew is, holding it still for me as I start putting cups in the slot.

“Thanks for holding it” I smile at him

“Oh it’s no big deal” he smiled at me as I finished up putting the cups in, turning to look for Austin, reaching out for the bottle as he quickly handed it over. I turn back around and start filling up the cups.

“Who’s on what team?” Mack asks

“I’ll take Maddie” Austin says and I immediately notice Drew’s shoulders drop.

“I’m really not that good, you sure you don’t want somebody else?” I ask Austin

“I can teach you a few tricks if I need to” he smiles sweetly down at me

“Um yea.. okay” I said smiling back at him slightly

“Drew, me and you against Maddie and Austin?” Logan asks

“Yea. Sure bro” Drew says looking me in my eyes before turning to walk to the other side of the table.

“Your going down Mads” Logan says

“In your dreams Logan” I tease back

“Like I said earlier, done and done” he winked and I faked gagging making all the boys laugh, “yeah, you did that in the dream too” Logan laughed

“Oh my God, stop!” I yell laughing covering my eyes making the boys laugh harder, “somebody throw” I laugh pointing at Drew and Logan

“What we doing? We land, whoever want to, drinks, or do y’all want to have a chosen person for each person?” Logan asks

“If I land it, Mads drinks mine” Drew says looking at me very intently

“Right back at ya Starkey” I sass as he raises an eyebrow at me before smirking

“You’re on” he says before getting situated before throwing his ping pong ball and of course making it into one.

“Get to drinking” he winked as I rolled my eyes as I waited on Logan to throw his, him making it into a cup to. Both, me and Austin rolling our eyes laughing, pulling the ball out of each cup and bringing the cup to our lips and downing it quickly. We both shake our heads as the burning feeling goes down our throat before getting ready to take our shots. Austin went first, making it into the front cup as I give him a high five.

“You wanna try first or want a little help?” Austin asked placing his hand at the base of my back, immediately making me more nervous.

“Let me try” I smile up at him and try to get myself in the right position and that’s when I feel Drew’s eyes on me too. I glance up to meet his eyes and raise my eyebrows, making him do it right back before smirking too.

“You nervous Mads?” Drew asked

“Shut up” I say laughing

“You got it Maddie!” Mack yells from the side of the pool with Lilian so I just go for it and take a shot. Which lands right between 2 cups making me groan and throw my head back.

“It’s okay! We’ll get em next time” Austin says wrapping an arm around me and patting my waist lightly as I wrapped an arm around his waist as we watch Logan chug his drink before it’s their turn to throw again.

Logan throws first and misses putting his hands on the top of his head watching as Drew throws his ball…. Right into their third cup. My eyes rolling immediately before grabbing the cup and pulling the ball out before drinking the contents.

Austin steps away to grab his ball and make a toss and smoothly lands into a cup. “You got this, just breathe” he whispers to me as I smile up at him stepping up to the middle of the board, taking a deep breath before making a toss that ended up in our third cup.

“Hell yeah! Drink Starkey’s” I yell before laughing as we happily watch them drink.

Eventually we’re both down to our last cup, all of us feeling the alcohol and adrenaline of beating each other. “Person that has gotten most cups from each team goes for the last cup?” Logan offers

“Yeah, Maddie, go” Austin says pushing me forward as Drew steps up to the other side, “you get two tries.”

“Burgers are ready!” Garrett yells

“2 minutes!” Mack yells back as she’s watching us intensely.

“You go” I tell Drew

“Ladies first” he says

“That’s why I told you to go” I sass and he cocks his head smirking at me as everyone else is saying “ooooo”and “daaaaang” as Drew starts to nod before getting ready to take his shot. First shot… missed… he grabbed the second ball and kissed it quickly before getting ready to take his throw and when he does, the ball hits the rim of the cup and bounces off onto the table making me jump up.

“You’ll do great, you got this” Austin says grabbing both of my shoulders from behind shaking me slightly making me laugh before I get ready to take my first shot. Missed. I grab the second ball and toss it, going straight into the last cup.

“OHHHHH!” Austin yells picking me up as we both raise an arm in victory before he puts me back down, Drew watching me closely as I step closer to him grabbing the final cup and lifting it up to him.

“Drink up Starkey” I wink as he smirks, keeping eye contact with me as he pulls the ball out of the cup and downs the liquid.

“Good game beautiful” he winks before walking towards the side of the pool pulling himself up and out of the pool as we all follow behind him to go get a burger.

Since there wasn’t enough room for everyone to take a seat, Mack went and sat in Garrett’s lap since he already made her burger while the rest of us got in line to make our own. Austin and Drew were on the short bench while Logan and a chase got the other two chairs available.

“Here, come sit with us” Austin said standing up and scooting over to give me enough room between him and Drew. I smile and step over the seat and take a seat, crossing my legs as Austin sat back down giving me a smile before taking a bite.

After eating, we all just sat around, joking and laughing. Truly allowing the full buzz to take effect. At some point while we were all joking, Austin’s hand found his way right above my knee and has been there since, caressing his thumb against my skin while the set of eyes on the other side of me was shooting daggers into his hand and burning a hole through me every time we caught each others eyes.

As it got darker, Mack asked me if I wanted to help with Lilian’s bath and getting her to go to sleep, which I happily jumped up to help.

Sitting between two very attractive men, one side of you feeling like a knife couldn’t even touch the tension while the other side was so carefree felt really weird so any excuse to get away from that, I was gonna take it.

“Well Austin seems to be enjoying you” Mack says as we walked into the bathroom.

“Yeah he’s nice” I state

“Nice? What’s ‘nice’ mean?” She asked looking at me

“That he’s nice?” I say raising an eyebrow

“Like he’s nice as in you’ll give him a shot or he’s nice but no?” She asked turning the water on for the bath

“Nice and I’m okay with him being a friend” I explain

“Who was this guy?” She asked as she pulled off Lil’s swimsuit and placed her into her tub in the tub.

“What guy?” I ask

“The guy that has had you so hung up forever about him, it feels like” she says

“It’s really not important Mack” I tell her

“Well I think it is, cause because of whoever this guy was, you haven’t been able to get past him and we’re not getting any younger” she tells me

“I know” I say looking down, wishing I could tell her.

“You know we’ve told each other everything, what is so different about this?” She asks

“It just is Mack, I’ll get over eventually, maybe that will be with Austin, maybe it’ll be in months or maybe even years, but I’ll figure it out” I tell her

“Why can’t you figure it out with that guy?” She asks as she rinses Lilian off

“It’s complicated” I say

“You’re complicated” she laughed

“Trust me, I know” I laughed

“Well, just so you know for the millionth time, I’m always here, no judgment, about anything and everything” she smiles

“Yea, I know” I smile back just as Lilian yawns real big and starts to cry

“I know you’re tired, I’m almost done baby” Mack talks to her rinsing the soap off of her bow before letting the water out.

“You want to try putting her down?” Mack asks me

“I’d love too” I smile widely

“Awesome, she has pjs, diaper, and lotion on her changing table, I’ll go and get a bottle ready for her” Mack says as she hands Lilian over to me before taking her to her room.

I go over to her changing table and dry her off, brush her hair, put on a diaper, then lotion, then her onesie. As she kept on wiping her eyes and yawning, I grabbed a book off of her shelf and went and sat in the rocker chair. I started to read to her, her eyes slowly starting to give in to the rest she so desperately wanted, but was woken up once Mack walked back in with her bottle, her hand’s immediately reaching out for it.

“You’re so good with her” Mack smiled down at me

“She’s just a great baby” I say

“I’m so ready for you to be a momma” she pouts at me

“Go back outside” I laugh pointing at the door as she rolls her eyes before walking out to the door, dimming the light on her way out.

Not too long after, Lilian was out, sleeping like the adorable baby she is. I slowly stood up and rocked her in my arms slowly while I walked over to her bed, slowly putting her down onto the mattress. I walk out of her room and slowly close the door, when I turn around, I’m face to face with Drew.

“Hey” I whisper putting my finger over my mouth, telling him to be quiet as he nods. I start to head to the stairs but that plan is changed when I feel his hand grab my wrist and pull me towards the guest room that I am staying in.

“What are you doing? Let go!” I whisper yell at him as he closes the door and turns to look at me

“What are you doing? Austin? Really?” He asks throwing his hand up

“What are you talking about?” I ask

“Are you trying to make me jealous or something?” He asks and I laugh

“Really? No, there is no part of me that is trying to make you jealous, what is so wrong with Austin?” I ask

“Because it’s Austin and it’s you” he says stepping closer to me

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask

“He doesn’t deserve you” he says

“There’s nothing going on between us Drew” I point out

“His hands are on you every chance they get, he obviously thinks there is something” Drew says, “you know what, if you can stand there and tell me that there is nothing towards me, at all, then I’ll leave it alone”

“Drew..” I say as I watch him step closer to me, putting one of his hands on my waist while the other is placed on my jaw, my hand landing on his bicep, while our eyes stay locked.

“Just tell me, tell me you don’t feel anything right now” he says leaning in closer, our nose’s touching. “And I’ll leave it alone” he says leaning in even closer to where our lips are touching lightly, both of our eyes shut.

“Drew we can’t do this” I tell him

“Tell me you don’t feel anything” he says, feeling every word off his lips against mine, just before pressing his lips against mine, now to kiss me. His lips felt so soft and right against mine, I couldn’t help but kiss him back, that is, until I hear Mack’s voice in the back of my head.

“We can’t do this” I push myself away from him quickly, “we made a deal, stick to it Starkey” I say turning to walk out of the room and rushing downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @percysley @dilfs-4life

[aniesvision]

𝟑𝟎- 𝑩𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

𐂂 𝙲𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚜 𝚂𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘 𝚡 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝'𝚜 𝚎𝚡 𝚐𝚏

𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒖𝒑, 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝒕𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄!𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕, 𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓, 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒅𝒌

𝚊/𝚗: 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅-𝑫𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑪𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒏. 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆, 𝒆𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚 ☕︎

𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒆𝒙-𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅'𝒔 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒕 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒚

Matt and I had a complicated relationship. We became friends, weeks later he confessed to having feelings and I said I felt the same. We started dating and it lasted exactly eight months until he broke up with me with the excuse "I don't know how to say this, but I don't think I'm ready for a real relationship." He wasn't ready. After 8 months. For a real relationship. So what we had was a lie?

As much as I wanted to punch his face, take his clothes that were with me and set them on fire, expose how much of a terrible person he was, I couldn't. I only managed to isolate myself, and with that, I had to, unfortunately, isolate Nick and Chris from my life as well, after all, they were always together.

It was my first time away from home since Matt and I broke up. It took me two months to work up the courage to get out of bed, get ready, and not cry looking at the mirror. As if my voluntary action of going out wasn't enough, my two college friends found a party at someone's house. They convinced me to go after telling me I would be free to have as many drinks as I wanted. I haven't drunk since I became friends with Matthew, which was a long time ago, so I really needed a drink.

I decided to go, after all, I had already spent so much time lying in tears that feeling like a hottie was all I needed. I rummaged through my wardrobe and found a black dress that made me smile just imagining myself wearing it. I ran to take my shower and wash my hair, deciding to let it dry naturally, and went to do my makeup. I wore the dress, feeling beautiful when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I smiled and put on my white sneakers, completing my look with some accessories.

I took some photos, posted one of them in my story, and ordered an Uber to the address of the house since I intended to drink and did not want to cause an accident if I went by car.

-Hey, you came! - I hear a familiar voice and turn around with a smile.

-Yeah, I wanted to see you guys. -I answer.

With a quick hug at Anna and Lilly, my college friends, I follow them into the party. It was very crowded there and I didn't know how comfortable I could be in that environment. Lilly gave me a shot of tequila and I took it, feeling the taste of alcohol rip through my throat. We found a little space on the couch and threw ourselves in there, talking about random things until I felt my phone vibrate and went to see what it was.

Nick💜

Hi

I don't know if I could say that, but I miss you

I saw you on the couch and wanted to talk to you

Matt didn't come, just me and Chris, if that comforts you in some way

We'll be around, and it would be great to say hi, I still think that you're one of my best friends even if we're not talking anymore

I miss you so much

I read the texts with my heart beating fast, surprised he had reached out, I didn't even know they'd be here.

Nick was always the best friend I could have, Chris was also so important to me. When my relationship with Matt ended and I isolated myself from everything, I didn't give them any chance to contact me, and that made these last two months a mystery of how it could have been for them.

I don't know how that affected Matthew. Or if it affected him in any way. I don't know if he thought about it, if he talked to his brothers, or with friends, if he met new people, if he moved on, if he still thinks about me.

If he wanted to, he would've found a way to fight for me, but he just let me go. It wasn't Nick's or Chris' fault, and it was irresponsible of me to put them in this situation just because I couldn't reason it out sooner and make a less exclusive decision.

Me

Hi Nick, I'm sorry, that's all my fault.

I love you, I love Chris, I shouldn't have pushed you guys away

I'd love to talk, can we meet in the backyard? :)

I waited anxiously for an answer. I told Anna and Lilly I'd be back soon and they just nodded, happy to see I was trying to socialize a bit.

I carefully get up and straighten my dress before walking to the sliding door that leads out to a comfortable garden, with most of the floor being grass, a pool with blue lights on, a few people swimming, and a few benches near the walls. I sat on an empty bench and felt my phone buzz once again. Anxious, I unlock the screen and open the notification.

Nick💜

we're going :)

A smile of relief appeared on my face, but as I remembered the amount of time we spent without talking to each other and all because of me, I began to feel nervous. Did they really still like me? We could still be friends, right? It would be fine even if Matt couldn't be present in the same room as me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and snap out of my thoughts, lifting my face and meeting Nick's eyes. I get up quickly, hugging him so tightly that I could've broken one of his bones. He runs his hands on my back, only separating us to look at me up and down.

-We have so much to talk about. But first: you look stunning, girl! I loved the dress.

I giggle, feeling my heart beat fast. I was happy that Nick complimented me, he always did it, it gave me a good nostalgia that I still don't know how to deal with it.

-You look amazing, as always. -I reply, earning a huge smile in response.

-Hey, I don't know if you two get it, but I'm still here, you know? -I hear another voice and turn back to face Chris.

I smiled slightly before pulling him into a tight hug as well, to which he returned without even complaining about the force.

-I missed you. -He says, low, in my ear, still hugging me.

-I missed you, too. A lot. -I say, undoing the hug to look him in the eye.

His hair looked longer, the beard had not been done recently, he wore black pants, an orange sweatshirt and a backward hat. Chris wrapped his arm around my shoulders and we sat down on the bench I was on.

We all talked about everything that had happened since my breakup until now. While we were talking, Anna and Lilly showed up and said hi to the boys, as well as leaving a drink and another shot for me in my hands.

-Have fun! -Anna screams before being pulled by Lilly, making me laugh.

-You're drinking? -Nick asks, cautiously.

I knew they didn't like to drink, but they had no problem with friends doing it. I never normally drank. It was rare and when it happened it was just a glass or two, but now I had another idea in my head, especially because it was the first time I was out of my apartment in two months.

-I think tonight is a good night to drink.

I raise the shot with a smirk, showing it to Nick and Chris before chugging it and grimacing at the taste.

-Let's take some photos together. -I suggest, setting the shot glass down on a nearby table and taking my phone out of my pocket.

We took a few selfies and I posted one of them on my Instagram story, tagging the boys.

-So... Why didn't he come? -I was holding myself back from commenting on it, but of course I felt more curious than sad about it. Nick looked at me when I asked, but seeing that I didn't exactly look sad he decided to answer.

-He went out with other friends. -The answer was vague, but I already knew what it meant.

It wasn't just other friends, but okay, that's what I was thinking anyway.

I give him a soft smile in response, not wanting to get into the depth of the subject, and take a few sips of the drink I had received from my friends.

-Let's dance. -I say, getting up when I hear a song I liked and the boys soon follow me.

While moving my body and talking to both of them, I slowly finished my drink and ended up losing the glass at some point, but it didn't matter, I didn't intend to drink more than that.

I was having fun, I missed seeing my friends, I missed dancing, I missed feeling good. And as useless as a party seems to be, the uselessness seemed to be exactly what I needed.

-I'll get some water. -I hear Nick speak in my ear and I nod my head.

I feel my phone vibrate once again and unlock it, seeing that it was a response to my Instagram story. I only had notifications turned on for friends and people I knew, but upon reading the name on my screen my reaction must have changed in the same second.

Matt

That's why Nick's not answering me...

You look beautiful btw

I miss your pretty face

Before I had a chance to respond, I felt a hand on my hip and my phone was taken from my hand. I look at Chris, who smiles as he puts my phone in his pants pocket.

-He may be my brother, but this is a dick move and I will not let you answer. -He says, moving closer and placing both hands on my waist.

I roll my eyes with a little smile and wrap my arms around his neck, knowing he was more than right and I shouldn't pay any attention to Matt now. And besides, why would I care about someone who broke up with me without a good explanation if I had a guy as handsome as Chris around?

Maybe it was the alcohol talking.

-How are you feeling? -He asks, looking at me carefully.

-I don't know, I'm not as bad as I could be, I already felt too sad because of him. I'm actually glad to be here, and I'm glad to see you again. -I answer, allowing myself to take a step forward.

He didn't back down. Where's Nick with his water to try to put some sense in my head? I see a smirk on Chris's face with my words and immediately my focus goes to his mouth. Part of me knew that was wrong, but now that part was way too far.

-I'm glad to see you again, too. And to be honest, I think I'd be a much better boyfriend than him.

His eyes scanned my entire face, stopping to stare at my mouth with a smile that I swore could give me a heart attack at any moment.

-To be honest, I think so too. -My voice comes out a little lower than it should, but high enough that he could hear me even with the sound of the songs.

He lifts one of his hands up to my face and quickly presses his lips against mine. It wasn't long before he deepened it and I felt his tongue on mine, sending shivers down my spine. We kissed for a while until we were interrupted by a nearby scream.

-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING? -Nick was standing in front of us, mouth open in shock.

Chris just rolls his eyes and I step back, realizing what I had done and feeling a little embarrassed with some people around staring at us. With no response, Nick pulls us out of the party, to a part of the street where the music wasn't so loud.

-Are you guys crazy? He's your ex's brother, you're her ex's brother. Brother. Ex. -Nick says, pointing at me and Chris.

-Dude, relax, Matt may be my brother, but he was a complete asshole to her. Did you know he texted her? She deserves more than that. -Chris answers, making Nick look at us with an expression of disgust and confusion.

-What did he say? -He asks.

I look at Chris, remembering that he had my phone and he soon pulls it out of his pocket, handing it to me to unlock. I show Nick Matt's message, and hear the heavy sigh of the boy in front of me, handing me back my phone. We spent a few seconds in silence until Nick looked at Chris, then at me, and back at his brother.

-Be better. -He says, making the younger one look confused. -Better than Matthew, we'll talk to him later, but if you think you can be better for her, be it.

Chris smiles, looking at me and passing his arm around me.

-I will be. -He answers. Nick loses his seriousness, throwing us a weak smile.

We decided to split an Uber to get back, leaving my address as the first stop. We were talking along the way and when we arrived at my building I said goodbye to both of them with a hug and made my way to my apartment, taking out my phone and seeing the notifications I had received in the meantime.

Matthew Sturniolo

You're joking.

My brother? Seriously? You know he'll never be like me, he'll never make you feel good as I did

Me

Yeah, you're right. He'll never be like you, that's what makes him so much better than you already

Leave me alone, Matt

I sigh, forcing myself to take a shower and rest. Although I was stressed, I didn't feel bad for what I did, much less for seeing that it made Matthew so angry and deep down seeing that he finally felt something because of me was gratifying.

Me and Nick went back to talking to each other every day, as it was before. Chris and I hung out together every weekend for over a month straight and I couldn't get enough of being with him for even a second. We used to get along before everything, but now it was different, and honestly, it was better.

Matt never texted me again. He still saw everything I posted, knew I was with his brothers most of the time, and knew he should take a step back and rethink what he did. It took longer than it should have, but he understood that he did me wrong and that I was fine with someone else, even if that person was in fact his brother.

I didn't get an apology, despite all that. Matt and I saw each other once after all, it was the first time I saw him after breaking up and the first and only time since Chris and I decided to be exclusive and have something serious. It was awkward, and a little quiet, but no fighting, which was enough for me.

Since that party, things have been going well. I felt happy, not only for being with someone new, but for moving on and living my life again.

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔 ✍︎

➪ @riowritesitall @sturniolosarethebest @hyacinthst @deers4luv @sturncakez @watercolorskyy @delooshunalhoe @sarosfilms @blahbel668 @sturniyolo69 @sturniolosl0t @colbsposts00 @fallingforfalll2 @stvrnmc @faithlia @katie-tibo @monroesturnns @mattnchrisworld @shaquilles-0atmeal @fratbrochrisgf @dayzeandhaze @phimstarz @h3arts4harry @star-yawnznn @asherrisrandom @pip4444chris @sturniolo-fann @beansprout713 @conspiracy-ash @sturnsxbitvh @ivysturnss @mattsbitchh @larallott

[siremasterlawrence]

Breaking In To The Movies

After shooting my first movie had to give you guys this and it’s also a thank you for hitting this page up with 4,025 followers.

Woohoo!

“I just landed my first acting gig so I need a new body.”

Scott Eastwood is at a some stupid celebrity sporting event held in a massive field in a stadium Hollywood, Los Angeles playing that idiotic game football in all of his overly masculine macho bullshit and showing off all of his skills.He brushes past most of the field running in a circle as he caught the ball falling to the ground as he hit the end of the field in a bit of excitement and he starts to scream his clothes obviously wet as ever and doing a little dance.I sigh rolling my eyes as he returns back to his seat taking a minute unbelievably he is careless to not be aware of mi presence is looming behind him and I reach my hand out for his bottle and grab it before he can see it happen.It is sad but I don’t give a shit walking back in to the end of the hall in the cover of the halls darkness the cap is unscrewed, the needle cap is pulled off and I inject it in to his bottle as it was nothing quickly returning it back to his bag.

Cockiness does have its disadvantages like well you know pride cometh before the fall as the saying goes I think to myself happily as I watch him gobble it down for the world to see and the camera finally pans on him as I begin to feel faint. I don’t really feel much at all as my eyes slowly close in time to a excessive amount of yawning then I nod off completely falling on to the bench fading out of existence and I appear right behind him.I laugh a bit as he starts to feel odd taking left hand he starts to yank on his collar as the whistle goes off he hops back in to the game excitedly it’s so pathetic, the sweat of beads so apparent in his face to go with this lethargic sportsmanship to boot he is a true laughing stock. Sorry! Cockiness needs to be corrected I think again following him as he pretends he is proud of his performance to the crowd, he then makes a dash for the bathroom placing his hand firmly on to the sink and screams in pain before he looks in to the mirror and sees.

“BOO!” I shout before unleashing a haunting laugh.

“Who the fuck are you?” He yells

“Your worse nightmare” my attitude assured

“Do I know you?” He thinks

“Go ahead! Guess” I state

“We worked together on a movie “ he replies

“Correct and now we will not be doing that “

“Wait! This most be by imagination “

“Yeah! Let me wet my face it’s a dream”

“Why bother? It’s a dream alright “

“Yeah! I’ll wake up soon”

“Go to sleep! Nighty night”

“Dumbass! Here we go”

“Let me close my eyes”

“Oooohh! My body bow “

“Not bad! Fine ass”

“For a white boi anyway “

“Time to go for a test drive “

“This is a nice see “

“Hey ladies “

“Hey fellas”

“Bring me some drinks stat”

“Who want to be in my entourage tonight”

“Yeah motherfucker’s”

“Uh uh! We are going all night”

“This loser thinks he is a sleep “

“I am Scott Eastwood “

“Who wants to dance?”

“Really? No one!”

“Boo!”

“You all suck “

“Guys or gals”

“Does not matter “

“I swing it right and left “

“Play both sides”

“I am Scott Eastwood Bitch”

“My budding career mixed with this body.”

“Yum”

The end

[wistfulweaverwoman]

Snippet from chapter six of The Apothecary’s Daughter:

The space on the mattress where Peeta slept is cold when I wake. He’d spent the entire night, as far as I can tell, facing the kitchen, his back to me, leaving me as much space as he could. There’s a bowl of congealing spiced porridge with fresh fruit and nuts on the work table, as well as a slice of cheese and chunk of that fermented sausage on a small plate. I swallow every bite mechanically and then wipe my dishes with a wash rag at the sink, setting them aside to dry.

Dust coats every surface in every room I’ve peeked into, excepting the kitchen. My skin and the back of my throat itch from the air. Having no employment or direction from Peeta I’m determined to scour every surface. After setting the kettles on the wood stove to heat water, I root out my oldest coveralls from my trunk and tie a kerchief over my unpinned braids. My work boots are not as well worn as my hunting boots were, but they’re comfortable enough. Everyone in Twelve has at least one pair of serviceable boots. No one is above hard work here, even Mage, who’s family employs servants to cook and clean.

There is running water at the sink, but cleaning just the hall and library takes me the better part of the day. Kneeling on the floor, scrubbing in circles, plunging my hand back in the bucket, wringing out the cloth. Over and over. It’s laborious work, but doesn't take much brain power. Try as I might to focus on the simple task of taking something filthy and making it clean, my mind wanders back to yesterday. I only break down completely twice, though, and only once am I overcome enough that I must halt completely in favor of burying my face into the crook of my elbow. Once I emerge the water has gone stone cold and I’m forced to boil more.

I consider putting away all books stacked on the table in the library but ultimately decide to leave them out as I am unsure if Peeta has plans to read them and simply shift them around to dust the tabletop.

Sometime in the late afternoon Peeta returns from whatever he’d been up to and prepares dinner.

Wet and sore I finally haul the bucket into the empty kitchen for the last time. A plate of food on the worktable greets me; a plate of eggs cooked with herbs and topped with goat cheese. Again the copper tub is steaming with water. The light is dim as the sun sets, but I don’t bother lighting a candle. There is a definite lack of hunger pangs, but I force myself to eat; the fear that I may not know when my next meal will be still lurks. I rush though my ablutions, dress for sleep, and slip into the far side of the bed, facing the wall, before Peeta returns.

It’s nearly dark when the door opens and shuts again. There are footsteps and then a heavy sigh. The mattress dips as he settles beside me. His breathing soft and the smell from his soap reaches my nose. It’s early to sleep, but I’m thoroughly exhausted and expect to fall asleep immediately.

I don’t.

The urge to roll over and press myself into Peeta’s side and bury my face in his neck is so strong that I feel queasy. Against my will, hot angry tears slip out from my eyes. I try to breathe as silently as possible but accidentally sniff when my nose starts to run. Peeta shifts closer to me. Close enough that I can feel the heat of him.

“Katniss?” he says, tentatively. “Is there anything I can do?” Surely he’s about to reach for me, place a large warm hand on my back and stoke it soothingly. Surely this will undo me. If he touches me, if I let him comfort me, I will be lost.

“Just tired,” I say, and sharply. As if to insinuate he’s bothering me. I grip the quilt with my fists as the gutted feeling returns, and clench my teeth to keep from sobbing.

“Sorry,” he says, softly. Sadly. His pain doubles my own. I remind myself that this is for the best, to cleave our attachment now, before-

He rolls away, his back now facing mine. I feel the absence of his warmth keenly.

[winloe]

okay, I know every stardew valley character could have a pretty decent argument for being autistic, but I want to say one character that I honestly don’t see being headcanon’d as autistic nearly as much and that’s alex!

before I start, I just want to say that you may disagree and that’s completely ok! you’re entitled to your own opinion and so am I ^^ I am also autistic myself, so this is mostly coming from my own experiences

one quote that sticks out to me is ‘oh wow...your shoes are a little dirty... but that's fine, too! different people have different tastes I guess’. alex is attentive to small changes, something that many autistic individuals are heightened in. he zeroes in on how your shoes look, something he may have noticed while avoiding eye contact and looking down to the floor rather than looking straight at you (an autistic trait is avoiding eye contact)

mentioning your appearance may be alex’s way to try and engage a conversation, but it comes off as blunt and even unintentionally rude when he says how your shoes are dirty, rather than how your hair looks nice or something similar. he seems to have realised his mistake and after a pause follows up with ‘but that's fine, too! different people have different tastes I guess’. to me, this seems like an attempt of smoothing over a mistake he may have only just realised could be seen as insulting, which highlights a struggle of social filters.

another quote which I think exemplifies alex’s difficulty understanding social cues is: ‘hey, you must be getting pretty strong working on that farm all day. maybe you'll reach my level some day. Something to look forward to, huh? why do you have that look on your face?’ (which alex will still say even if you’re 4 years into your farm and probably now jacked)

alex saying you ‘reaching his level some day’ as a goal may come across as egotistical and condescending, but it’s likely not intended that way (because of his later ‘why do you have that look on your face?’). I think this shows his unfiltered confidence (which isn’t always ego! It’s good to be confident!). he seems to just be proud of his physique and seems to be the only reason he’s been complimented before (including his appearance) so that’s what he wishes to show and talk about.

it may seem patronising, yet I think alex sees it as motivational or friendly banter. his ‘why do you have that look on your face?’ underlines his trouble at understanding nonverbal conversation. alex doesn’t immediately understand why his comment could provoke offence.

the player is, in other dialogue from characters, assumed to be reasonably quiet, which may be why alex finds difficulty when it comes to talking to them. 

when alex is insulted after asking if you think he’d ever become pro (and you say that he will fail and become a salesman) he snaps back with ‘that's insane. you're just jealous that I'm talented and popular and you're not. get away from me’. he reacts strongly to negative feedback and interprets it as jealousy, which could stem from how he reckons his dad was jealous of his youth and that’s why he called alex ‘worthless’ and the fear of failure (i.e. wasting his youth). for autistic people, self-worth can be closely tied to one or two abilities, and being questioned on their skill can make it very threatening.

alex also clings onto this idea of being ‘popular’ which may have been his school identity, being a jock and an all-star quarterback, which is a stereotypical popular archetype. this could suggest a difficulty in updating his self-image (and we know he has been outside of school long enough to get married and have kids, so he doesn’t have a reason to call himself ‘popular’ as there’s no context to be called popular anymore)

alex’s insistence on being ‘popular’ could be a form of masking. he shields his emotions from everyone but his dog dusty (and you once hearts are higher). he feels more confident in acting like this macho bravado than he would if he expressed his feelings which also ties into his toxic masculinity, which in turn goes to internalised homophobia. he feels as if he has to act ‘normally’, and being good at a sport and assumingly getting friends in school because he was good at that sport, would probably give him a tunnel vision that talking about gridball is the only chance of having another friend (why he only talks about gridball!)

and I know a lot of people would probably think that gridball is alex’s special subject if we’re going down the autism route, but I don’t actually think so. I could see alex having it as his special subject when he was younger, but as he grows up and as it becomes more of a goal and more of a job, he starts to forget the reason why he started playing gridball in the first place (because it’s a hobby, because his mum played catch with him). 

I can definitely see him struggling with autistic burnout, where he’s tried so hard for so long and still hasn’t seen success. this is why I can 100% understand why he’d like to work at the farm with the player, completely giving up his dream for a change in the current, a turn in decision. change can be frightening for autistic people, which could be why alex hadn't thought of doing anything other than going pro, but as you become his friend, he realises that he doesn’t have to stick to this one made-up persona for eternity and that he can be himself and subvert expectations.

no beta (me) we die like men... this may ramble and one day I'll reread this and cringe at the grammar... hi future me :P

[kirby-the-gorb]

[loisfreakinglane]

the cangel crumbs i got in buffy season 2 just made me more in love with them than i've been in a long time. LOOK AT THOSE TWO. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA FALL IN LOVE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA CHANGE EACH OTHERS LIVES FOR THE BETTER

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[kizzington]

Not aiming this at anyone specifically, but I’m genuinely so disappointed & annoyed at the fact no one in my real life circles bothered to reach out to me to check up on me regarding the recent Liam Payne/One Direction news.

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

[spocks-kaathyra]

.

[barley-st-band]

hey does anyone know how we’re supposed to survive it all. asking for a friend

[gregmarriage]

i’m back temporarily, bc it’s my birthday in an hour and a half, and i’m having a mini breakdown, hehe x