#i was looking at my baby pictures which is a super good idea when you’re going through a crisis

[gregmarriage]

i’m back temporarily, bc it’s my birthday in an hour and a half, and i’m having a mini breakdown, hehe x

[uncouth-the-fifth]

i'd like to report a crime - Leon Kennedy/Reader

read it on Ao3.

Pairing: Agent!Leon/Detective!Wife!Reader Tags: anxious work stress + leon comfort!!, leon being a fucking goober Notes: when i'm at work I'm always picturing him swooping in to save me...... leon kennedy if you can hear me please protect me from 9-5 hell... and like I said before, I would LOVE requests or prompts for this fic, I have so many ideas but I can't commit to any of them lol.

Standing in the bullpen at work today, you had a thought. Maybe they called it “medieval torture” because that was a whole lot catchier than “a shitty day at the busiest police precinct in Washington DC.”

It certainly felt like medieval torture to you. Before you’d even stepped into your big girl pants this morning, you knew that today was going to suck. Plain and simple. Suck. Yet another presidential event was bringing the Secret Service’s jurisdiction into your already hectic station, meaning that big square dudes in suits were going to be breathing down your neck until quitting time. You had three huge active cases that needed your attention. One of those cases came pre-packaged with a deeply annoying lawyer, who, in your professional opinion, has his head shoved a foot up his ass. He will absolutely be showing up to bother you today.

And worst of all: in your haste to get to work (Leon had put some serious effort into making you late), you’d accidentally worn a pair of super uncomfortable shoes! So now every waking moment of your existence was bonafide torture.

Clamping your jaw, you glance up from the paperwork in front of you and check your watch. Three o’clock. Right, okay, you can work with that.

You slap your hands down on your desk as you push out of your seat, and it gets a satisfying yelp out of the man sitting cross-legged beside it. He bristles up like a porcupine and nasally complains, “Where are you going, Detective Kennedy? You said we could—”

“Coffee, Douglas,” you bite back to said lawyer.

The last thing you want right now is some of the lousy, watered-down coffee from the station’s breakroom, but taking mini-breaks at your desk is just not an option anymore. Douglas has been camped out there from the moment you clocked in, and since you both refuse to budge, he’s going to stay there. Breakroom it is. You wince the whole way there, cursing your shoes from hell.

Someone forgot to start another pot of joe, so you have the absolute pleasure of doing it yourself. A small blessing in disguise, really. You give the glass pot your best thousand-yard-stare the whole time it heats the water, and just when the outline of it is starting to burn behind your eyelids, you’re jolted out of your glazed reverie by a cheerful, “Detective Kennedy!”

The officer appears at your side like she was there the entire time, and you wouldn’t put it past her—Giana is the latest in a long line of rookies who have imprinted on you over the years. Good kid, but a little on the overeager side.

She gives you a sympathetic frown and launches into way too much bubbly talking for your aching head to handle. “Heyo! Man, it’s crazy today, huh? You look beat, detective. Hey, think of it this way—just a few more hours and we’ll be home free! Any fun plans tonight?”

The question triggers a movie-style flashback sequence in your mind, complete with black-and-white visuals and some tasteful dream fog. Leon, your husband, boredly poking around the aisles of a new Target by your place. Leon discovering the boys' toy section. Leon, your beautiful, amazing husband, going starry-eyed at the massive NERF Elite Titan CS-50 Toy Blaster, which you’re pretty sure you need a license to operate.

He’d tapped the Nerf box like a boy on Christmas morning. “150 foam bullets, baby.”

But it would take a lot of energy to relay all of that to Giana. So instead of explaining that you’re having an epic Nerf duel with Leon when you get home (no headshots, loser makes dinner), you cooly answer: “...Spending time with my husband.”

Giana hums. “It’s so weird to me that you’re married…” (Thanks.) “I can’t even picture you not grinding away at some case.”

The coffee machine burbles out its last sad spit of coffee. You pour a good amount into your mug, smiling, “Oh, Leon’s just as bad. We’re both married to our work. He’s just my favorite mistress, s’all.”

Giana opens her mouth to launch into another cheery tirade you can’t catch up with. You like the girl, but on top of being way too eager, she’s also painfully see-through. For example, you don’t even have to turn around to know that a gloriously hot guy has just walked into the bullpen behind you. It’s written all over Giana’s owlish look over your shoulder. Hell, you can even clock that he’s heading straight this way—not only does Giana cross herself to bid away impure thoughts of the stranger, but she evaporates into smoke out of pure shyness.

“Look out!” She stage-whispers.

Aw. Poor girl, you think as she waddles away. Considering who’s going to be unloading a clip of foam bullets into you later this evening, (what a strange double entendre), you’re basically immune to hot guys. You can handle this.

“Excuse me, detective, I’d like to report a crime?”

All sense of professionalism poofs off your face at that familiar voice. You whirl to face your husband, and in one swift slash, the ten ton weight of your stress is slapped clean off your back.

Leon’s resting stare has slowly been absorbed by his Serious Agent Face. But today, he’s smoldering less in the business way and more in the off-duty model way. In a white tee, jeans, and racing-striped leather jacket, he certainly looks the part, clean-shaven and dewy-skinned. Fuck him and his unblemished skin. What Umbrella moisturizer was he using back in the day, dammit?

You’re capable of joking again and fall flawlessly into the bit. “Of course. What kind of crime, beautiful?”

He isn’t really able to look flustered, but you think you get close to the impossible with the way his head tilts at that line. You notice that he’s hiding something behind his back.

“A theft,” he answers. The tiniest smirk twitches on his mouth. “My heart’s been stolen.”

…What a fucking cornball. The tragic part is that you find the joke pretty funny, and not completely in the ironic way. He waits for you to giggle and twirl your hair or what-the-fuck-ever, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction, ducking into his quick hug to grin into his shoulder.

You groan at his awful joke. “Jesus. You need a fork for all that corn, Leon?”

“I take mine off the cob,” he drawls in your ear. With that voice, he could make anything sound suggestive.

You’re about to pout at him for failing to return your hug, when you draw back and see that his hands are full. It’s then that Leon presents his bounty to you, bowing his head and holding his trophies aloft like a knight giving respect to his princess: in one hand, one of the stupid expensive coffees you like, and in the other… your comfiest work flats.

“How?” is the first thing your fish brain manages to say. Because, truly, how does he always know? The coffee, the shoes— “Did you put a tracker in me? One that tells you everything I’ve been complaining about all day?”

You go slumping down into the nearest seat, mystified by him. Leon sets the still-steaming coffee down in front of you and kneels, stooping to help you out of your shoes-from-hell. The strap around your ankle has rubbed the bone raw even through your tights. He gets the clasp loose on the first shoe with little fussing, then soothes the skin with tender brushes of his thumb.

“Mhm,” he hums. All you can see of him from this angle is the layers of color in his hair, deep browns and ash blondes blending into one another. The smug pride in his voice is obvious—he loves knowing he’s read you well. “Tells me when you’re hungry, too. Have lunch with me?”

Please god, your body begs. Just picturing it loosens some of the tension in your neck. Like last time, the two of you would play-fight over where to eat, and your cute little delivery boy would go pick up the winner. That way, you wouldn’t have to waste a single moment of your allotted thirty-minute lunch. Leon would pull up a seat at your desk (maybe scare Douglas off with a flash of his badge), and you’d get a blissful, uninterrupted dose of him. Enough to get you through the rest of your shift.

He’d be too deep in Professional Agent Mode to babble like he does at home, but Leon’s raspy chuckles and his hand on your knee would tide you over til’ five.

…But no, the universe is never that kind to you. You wince at Leon’s offer and drop an apologetic hand to his shoulder, still knelt at your feet and working on your other shoe. He’s too good to you. “M’ sorry, baby, but I think I’m gonna have to work through lunch if I wanna get home on time. Rain check?”

He doesn’t mind. He throws a squinty warning stare your way, not happy that you’re getting dangerously close to overworking yourself, but he understands.

A sly smile creeps onto Leon’s face as he helps you slip on a flat. “I could talk to your Captain. What if you were pulled away for a ‘federal emergency?’”

“Then I think me and my Captain would implode from stress,” you laugh. “He’d think I’d been drawn into some national crisis or something.”

Leon scoffs. “That’s only happened, like, once.”

The other flat welcomes your poor, aching foot like a jacuzzi hot tub, and you take a deep magical sip of the overpriced coffee he got special for you. It trumps the watery breakroom joe any day.

For a minute you’re so stupidly happy that you could easily punch a boulder clean off a cliff. Hell, you might even twirl your hair.

“One too many times!” You groan. Since he’s being all cute and kneeling at your feet, you can’t resist poking him a couple of times to be silly. In the chest. In the cheek. In the heart. Stage-whispering, you accuse, “I think you just like having excuses to work with me.”

Leon finishes helping you into your shoes, but he’s in no hurry to leave his spot. One of his rough hands finds yours in your lap and toys with your wedding band, twisting it, testing the groove where it’s been sitting for a few years now. Those big blue eyes fix on your face. You’re married to the guy, but something about being the subject of all his naked attention makes you feel like shrieking into a damn pillow. He’s the best. Judging by that mean little smile on his face, he knows it’s true.

He gives your hand a little squeeze and points out, “I was your partner before anyone else. We never got our buddy cop beat—so yes, I will shove myself into your world since I can’t pull you into mine.”

You’re grateful he still thinks that way. Getting him to talk about Raccoon is harder than pulling teeth, but this—your partnership, whether that be as cops in an imaginary second life, or as husband and wife—never fails to pry him right open.

You’d been asked before if it was frustrating, how your paths had split after the city had blown. The two of you had come from the same spot and endured the same things, but where Leon had soared up, you’d kept to what you knew. No part of you envied him for it. In his mind, the two of you were still the same unit you’d been then, endlessly loyal to one another. You watched Leon’s back and—clearly, he watched yours.

“You’re my favorite,” you tell him, sweetly petting his chin. “I’m gonna fucking destroy you at our Nerf duel when I get home.”

All the buttery tenderness wipes from his face, and in an instant he’s on his feet, clapping a scarred hand down onto your shoulder and bending to whisper fiercely in your ear. “I’d like to see you try.”

He smushes a kiss to your cheek, waves a friendly, “See ya,” and melts back into the current of the rowdy bullpen. You hate to see him leave, but by god, you love to watch him go.

A few seconds after Leon says his goodbye, Giana, your rookie, peers around the open door of the break room. Her patchy blush goes all the way down to her uniform collar. “...Nevermind. I can definitely picture you married, Detective Kennedy…”

-

Ask to be added to my Leon taglist!

[gilverrwrites]

Conjugal Visit

Captain Boomerang/F!Reader, 2.2K words

AN: I can't remember what inspired this, but it's just a cute, fluffy, smutty thing I've been working on between request and uni work.

Plot: Digger is rewarded for saving the entire world with a 1 hour conjugal visit. It's not much, but it will do. Rating: 18+

CWs: None really, its just fluffy smut! Very mild angst, swearing, unprotected sex, p in v sex, cunnilingus, woman on top.

Please remember: You are a super star!

He’s been sending you origami unicorns and gibberish-filled letters about his good behaviour for months, but the promised conjugal visit never came, at least not until after he’d saved Metropolis, and, well, the whole world, maybe even the universe from an alien invasion. 

When his figure popped up on the news, you’d know it was him straight away, even despite his zipping around like a bonafide speedster. 

Later, when Lois Lane showed clearer footage, had confirmed it was him your heart had thrum with pride. You’d told anyone who would listen “That’s my man! That’s my Digger, out saving the world!” You’d even texted articles to your family, to prove he wasn’t the layabout felon they’d always complained about. They didn’t need to know that he was part of some kind of suicide mission, only out there because the government considered his criminal(-ly cute) ass expendable. No, as far as you were concerned, he was a hero, who would save the world, and come home to your loving arms when he was done. At least that’s what you told yourself to help you sleep at night. 

The positivity paid off though. When Digger and his teammates had saved the freakin’ world, his leader, Waller had graciously offered him a few years of his impossibly long sentence and a whopping 3 hours with you. It was considerably less than standard but you weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Digger, however, was. His complaining had reduced his reward time to just one hour, and you were determined to make the most of it. 

As you approach the door, you eyed the various trays shelved next to it. Each one filled with different sizes and brands of condoms, all of which were too small for Digger, and you weren’t allowed to bring your own. Every finger and toe was crossed that the morning-after pill you’d pre-purchased would be enough. 

A straight-faced guard opens the door for you, you thank him as you step inside, disappointed to be the first one here. An ancient off-white plastic analogue clock on the wall loudly counts down each missed second as you wait for him, brushing your hair out with your fingers, sucking your teeth to make sure there are no remnants of breakfast stuck between them. When the door finally opens once more you have your skirt hiked up to your waist as you fiddle with your underwear. It wasn’t the comfiest, but it was Digger's favourite. 

Your efforts don’t go unnoticed, your jailbird boyfriend’s eyes are bulging as he takes in your form for the first time in too long. Your heart races as you do the same to him, suddenly feeling both coy and unstable as you examine the way his uniform hangs from his lean body. God you can’t wait to get those off him. 

From the excited look on his face, he was having similar thoughts about your outfit. You release the hem of your skirt, but before the fabric can even flutter back against your skin, Digger has you in his arms, using all his muscle to lift you up high by your thighs, head nuzzled against your stomach as he spins you around. 

“I’ve missed ya so much, you’ve got no idea. I can’t believe you’re really here. The real you, not just your pictures stuck above me bed.” He blurts all the things he’s wanted to say but couldn’t convey until now. “I stare at you every night, been dreamin’ bout this moment.” 

“I missed you too baby. Now kiss me, kiss me, kiss me!” You jiggle your weight until he begins to lower you. 

“Don’t have to tell me.” He chuckles, situating you at hip height, putting your faces in closer proximity, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, as you lock lips with him. He tastes like mouthwash, which was not unwelcome, but strange. Certainly different to the stale beer you were accustomed to. Regardless, Digger didn’t miss a beat, slipping his tongue into your mouth and kissing you with so much enthusiasm it made you miss him again already. 

The way he smiles into your kiss nearly makes you pull away to giggle. The way his calloused fingers tickle your skin as he snakes a hand up to cup your ass does make you throw your head back and laugh out loud. 

“That tickles! Stop!” 

“Nah, I’ve missed this sound too much.” He doesn’t stop, now deliberately tickling both your hips as you begin weakly hitting his shoulder. “You know what else I’ve missed the sound of?” 

You squeal as he releases you all at once, throwing your body onto the bed.

“That!”

You sit up on the bed, arms crossed as you wait for him to stop laughing at you. The bed itself is old, the springs of the mattress creak under every move, and the comforter is itchy as hell, but it will have to do. 

“I should be mad at you for that, but I’ll forgive you this once 'cause I missed you so much.” Leaning back, you spread your legs, revealing your underwear and offering him a come-hither look. 

He looks like a fox in a henhouse, pointy grin, big eyes, and it makes your pussy tingle with excitement. 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Love, but I sure as shit am lucky.” His shirt and trousers are gone before he lands above you. Long fingers lock onto you, clumsily helping you undress until all that’s left is Diggers crew socks. He never takes them off for sex, ‘extra grip for when I’m givin’ it to ya real hard’, so you don’t bother trying to get them off him. 

“Digger, you’re a hero!” You argue between sloppy kisses. “Even if you weren’t, you still deserve good things.” 

“Yeah…” For a moment he looks at you, really looks at you, without the lust or the laughter. It might have felt scrutinising if you thought for a second that he knew what that word meant. “But you loved me before, an’ I really didn't deserve you then.” 

Before you can respond he’s slinking down your body, fingers pushing against your entrance and making you squirm. 

“You’re so wet already, you miss being all filled up by your old man aye? Bet you’ve been feeling so empty. I’m sorry I got me-self locked up. Sorry I left you so high and dry.” He slips one finger in, cupping your pussy, pressing down on your clit with his thumb. He hadn’t always known your body so well, but you’d spent so many nights wrapped up in each other that it was second nature now. 

“Don’t…” you try to speak between deep breaths. “Don’t be sorry, make it up to me.” 

No need to ask twice, in seconds he sucking on your clit and slipping a second finger inside. His crooked nose nestled against your pelvis area, mutton shops scratchy between your thigh as he begins to lap at your core. When he skims your sweet spot at just the right angle you whimper, tugging at his russet hair, which in turn causes him to let out a deep moan that reverberates against you. 

You whine and squirm against the wobbly bed as he continues, the fire in your belly building as duel licking and fucking pushes you closer to the edge. He hits that hot spot inside, and you instinctively wrap your legs around his head. With your orgasm in sight, Digger picks up his pace, slipping in a third finger as he concentrates his efforts on your clit. 

Reflexively, your back arches and your toes curl as your orgasm hits. Your hips roll, searching for more friction and Digger uses his free hand to press on your stomach, holding you in place until you come back down. 

“Ah, crikey. You taste just as sweet as I remember.” He comments as he comes back up, face gleaming with a mix of cum and saliva. “I missed that.” 

Before you can respond he places a wet kiss on your belly button. “An’ I missed this.”

Your sternum. “An’ this.”

“An’ definitely these.” He cups both of your breasts as he lowers himself and begins to rub his face between your cleavage. Green eyes peer up at you full of cheek when you grip his hair and tilt his head to look at you. “What?”

“We're on a time constraint, you wanna spend it all in there?” He purses his lips playfully, looking back and forth between you and your boobs as he pretends to consider the question. 

“I could die happy here.” To emphasise his point, he burrows between them once more before conceding. His cock bobs from side to side as he sits back, shimming his hips. “But we wouldn’t want Digger Jr to miss out on all the fun.” 

“Agreed! Let’s put him to use.” His hips feel pointed in your grip as you grab them, dragging him between your spread legs again. He runs the tip between your lips, teasing your clit and coating himself in your slick. When you feel his head at your entrance, your muscles tighten, trying to draw him in further.

This is the part you’d been craving and dreading. Even when you’d been sleeping together routinely, ‘Jr’ was too big to slide in with ease. The burn of your walls struggling to stretch around him makes your breathing uneven, the lubrication of your earlier climax doing little to ease the process. 

“Hey, hey, relax now, breathe.” Digger coos, leaning in close and cupping your cheek, reminding you that keeping calm is the best way to get through it. You nod, even though your body is in overdrive, you will yourself to relax, steadying your breathing and he gradually works his way into you. “That’s it, Darl’, let me into that tight little snatch.”

“Ew, Digger!” You groan and laugh at his atrocious word choice, but it works. It distracted you enough for him to bottom out. Smugly, he wiggles his bows and his cock at the same time, the motion making you pant and squirm, needing real friction. 

“On your back Harkness.” You order.

“Yes ma'am.” Hands gripping your hips he does the heavy lifting, flipping your bodies until he lays flat on his back, and you hover above him.

Comfortable, you waste no time bouncing on his lap, gripping his shoulders for support as you roll your hips up and down. “Fuck, Digger, that feels so good.”

“Oh yeah.” He agrees between gritted teeth, his hands reaching up to cup your tits, his hips jerking up to meet your thrusts. “This is so much better than jerking off to your photies every night. Nothin’ beats the real thing.” 

The more you rock together, the more he crumbles, face scrunching, hands abruptly grabbing at whatever skin he can reach, no longer just occupied with your breasts. 

“Shit Digger, your dick is the best.” You praise and you can tell from his pink cheeks and rapid movements that he’s on the brink. 

“Fuck. Touch yourself, touch yourself, touch yourself.” He begs, wanting you to cum but too lost to do it himself. You dip your finger between your legs, circling your clit with firm, circular motions, causing tension to quickly coil in your gut, but it's not enough. “Fuck, woman, hurry up and cum.”

“Impatient.” You scold, purposely pumping your body in fast, deep motions to aid Digger's climax.

“Can’t help it.” He whispers quickly, desperately. “You feel too good.” 

He’s a beautiful withering mess beneath you, gleaming under a layer of sweat. All sharp edges and soft freckled skin. Eager to put him out of his misery you press harder at your clit, rubbing as fast as you can muster until you can’t help throwing your head back, panting as you approach your peak, and Digger is right there with you, gripping you with bruising force as he finally lets himself release. Pleasure seeps through your body as you ride out your orgasms together, Digger grunting with every spurt of cum he releases inside of you. 

“Wow.” You pant, as you relax, collapsing onto his Digger's chest. “I missed that.” 

When he’s recovered enough, Digger wraps his arms around you in return, pulling you closer for a deeper hug. “We’ve still got it.”

“Still got it.” You concede. Sex with Digger is always good, but the come down, the cuddling and the pillow talk is comforting. As much as you want to, you can’t fall asleep in his arms, can’t have a thumb war over who has to go get snacks, can’t stay up all night talking about that guy you hate from work, or Digger’s latest heist plans. “I just wish we had more time to talk. I want to hear everything.” 

In sync, both your heads turn. Yours to the clock, Diggers to you. 

“Not much time, is it?” He probes, you know he can only read digital.

“No, just a little under 10 minutes.” Determined not to let your limited time together get you down, and feeling Digger’s cock already growing hard inside you once more, you offer; “Think we can squeeze in another quick?” 

“Don’t need to be quick, don’t care what they do to me.” Digger flips you over, his turn on top. “They’re gonna need one of them giant magnet thingys to pry me off of you, Love.” 

Request Info || Prompts || DC Masterlist || Ko-Fi

[foggyfanfic]

What Tattoos would the Madrigals have?

Sorta a weird post, because presumably these characters are relatively devout Catholics, they absolutely would not ever get tattoos (not to mention we have no idea how much they know about micro-biology so jury’s out on how clean tattoos would be in Encanto). But I saw @teawizard ‘s picture of Bruno doing male thot jobs and it got me thinking. So!

Edit: Oof, this has been in my drafts way too long.

Alma

Hers are low key the most obvious to me. Alma would definitely have a little memorial tattoo for Pedro, and possibly have the triplet’s names. I’m operating under the assumption that she wasn’t born into an important family, so when she becomes La Señora Madrigal she makes an active effort to play the part rather than it coming naturally to her. Which would mean she might get a single tattoo right after losing Pedro, someplace easy for her to cover, then never again.

Agustín

I was going to say Agustín looks like he was raised too fancy to get tattoos even in this hypothetical, but then I actually thought about it a little. He’s supposed to be super accident prone, right? So, I think he’d have a tramp stamp. Hear me out! First time he goes out drinking with friends he discovers he is way more sensitive to alcohol than he thought he’d be. He wakes up with a bunch of blank spots in his memory, a helluva headache, and a sore spot on his back. A week or two later he is getting undressed to take a shower and notices something weird on his back out of the corner of his eye. And there it is! The words “Señor Madrigal” in a heart made out of healing herbs. Inexplicably, there are dolphins either side of the heart. When he asks his friends, he went missing for a while and they eventually found him hours later with his tie and vest off, and his shirt untucked. Biggest problem? He is not yet dating Julieta.

Julieta

In contrast, Julieta had an idea for a tattoo for her entire childhood, but figured she’d never get it because she knew her Má would hate it. She starts dating Agustín (is very amused when she sees his tattoo), then starts arguing with Alma over her boyfriend. In a fit of pique, she decides to get the tattoo whether or not her Má likes it. Even though Alma is annoyed at the tattoo itself, when she sees it she can’t help but like it. It’s essentially Julieta’s own version of the Hippocratic Oath on her left shoulder blade. Pepa makes fun of her because “even when you rebel against mother, you’re so perfect about it”. Eventually, Juli gets a matching tattoo with her siblings. Eventually.

Pepa

Pepa always wanted a tattoo but couldn’t settle on anything until Dolores is born. After that she gets each of her baby’s birthdates tattooed on her ankle. She would also eventually get a matching sibling tattoo.

Félix

Song lyrics, his wedding anniversary, and a tattoo that references his side of the family in some way. Maybe all together to form a sleeve, but more likely to be on his back.

Bruno

Bruno would have a full sleeve of good luck tattoos, and then some. He would have a chicken on one foot and a pig on the other (sailor superstition), on his shoulder blade opposite his sleeve he would have a prayer he likes that he got right before going into the walls. In an ill thought out fit of boredom he would give himself a stick and poke in the walls, the word “leña” on his knuckles (one of the ways to say wood in Spanish, although it looks like people usually use it to say firewood, but “madera” wouldn’t fit on his knuckles). Then when he gets out of the walls and is reunited with his sisters they would get a matching tattoo, the movie hasn’t really shown us enough of their relationship for me to say exactly what, but something meaningful to them.

Isabela

Immediately post movie she would get a sleeve of carnivorous and poisonous plants in order to express her newfound individuality. Later when she’s gotten over the initial high of finding herself, she would get a butterfly or something, something that represents her love for the family.

Dolores

One of Mariano’s poems on the inside of her forearm so she can reread it regularly. And a little lightning bolt right behind her ear, Pepa’s gift probably makes their relationship complicated, so I could see them looking for ways to show they do love each other despite said complications.

Luisa

She would have some sort of inspirational quote on her bicep about hard work, then post movie she would get another on the other arm about remembering to pause and enjoy life every once in a while.

Camilo

Like his mother he’d have a really hard time picking a tattoo, since the creators said they would have included him having slight identity issues if they had the space for it. When he gets on the other side of those issues, he gets those two theatre masks on the inside of his wrist to remind himself not to get too caught up in his own act.

Mirabel

Since she puts so much self expression into her clothes she wouldn’t really get the point of getting a tattoo until post movie when she starts actively building a relationship with Alma and thus gets to learn the town’s history more in depth than before. Then she gets the date the Encanto was established, a picture of the butterfly that was on the candle, and a quote about love conquering all.

Antonio

His back would become a guide to different animal tracks. So there would be the paw print and then right under it a label explaining what animal it goes to, but like all over his back and spilling down his arms when he runs out of room. Since he and the artist wouldn’t be sure how to do snake tracks, he’d have the local snake species circling his ankles and wrists.

[transmascissues]

I cannot thank you enough for your posts about top surgery. I'm hoping to get mine in a couple years. Your updates are really comforting to me, even (maybe especially) the bad stuff because it makes me feel more prepared. I hope your recovery keeps going well!

On another note, how did you decide whether to keep your nipples or not? I like how chests look with and without them, so it's hard to choose

for me there were a few factors that led me to go nipless:

the biggest thing was that when i imagined my body post-op, i naturally always saw it without nipples. that was just what felt right when i thought about how it would look — i didn’t even have to think about it, that’s just what came to mind. i figured, if i’m automatically picturing myself like that, that’s probably a good indication of what i would be happiest with.

i’ve also always had sensory issues related to my nipples. i basically wore a sports bra constantly, including when i slept, because i hated the feeling of loose fabric touching them and moving against them. so if i had kept my nipples, i would’ve ended up with either no sensation or more discomfort, not anything positive.

i really didn’t want to deal with the healing process for nipple grafts. my skin is super sensitive and finicky, so if anyone would be almost guaranteed to have problems with graft healing, god only knows it would be me. i also know i’m more prone to infection than most people, so avoiding the part of the surgery that has the highest chance of infection seemed like a good plan. on top of all that, i’m also a huge baby about having to touch any sort of injury on my body (just putting moisturizer on my mostly healed incisions was something i had to work up to), so i knew doing the graft care would be difficult for me too.

i know that i can be super picky about the way things look, especially when it comes to things like spacing and symmetry. so if i had gotten nipple grafts, i think it’s super likely that i would’ve ended up feeling like they were put in the wrong place or being bothered by any asymmetry in how they healed. obviously i wanted to pick the kind of surgery that was the most likely to give me results i would be fully satisfied with, so getting grafts despite knowing i’d probably end up nitpicking them for years to come just seemed silly.

i honestly really love the idea of having a chest that’s visibly different from a typical cis man’s chest. the goal of my transition has never been to look cis and i take a lot of pride in being recognizably trans, so having a kind of surgery that isn’t just trying to imitate what i would look like if i were cis was really appealing to me.

going without grafts is just cheaper, so given all of the other reasons i didn’t want grafts, there was just no reason for me to spend extra money on them. i want a few extra hundred dollars in my bank account way more than i want nipples.

and in hindsight, i genuinely couldn’t be happier with my decision. when i look at my chest, even now while it’s still not fully healed, it looks just like how i always imagined i would look with a flat chest and feels like the most natural thing in the world.

if you’re having trouble deciding which you like better, i would try just closing your eyes and imagining both on your body. this was one thing i did if i saw someone with grafts whose results i really liked and felt uncertain in my decision, because what i always ended up realizing was that no matter how good they looked on other people, it felt super weird imagining them on myself. in fact, most of the time i struggled to really even picture it at all.

you could also try gathering a bunch of pictures of both types of results and seeing how you feel about all of them. maybe when you look at the results with grafts, there’s only a few that you feel like you would be dissatisfied with, but when you look at results without grafts, there are a lot more that you probably wouldn’t want. or maybe it’s the other way around. like i said, you’re going to want to go with the kind of surgery you’re mostly likely to be happy with, so if you seem to be more critical of one kind of surgery’s results than the other, that can help guide your choice.

and if you really don’t feel any differently about them, consider the other factors: how do you feel about the healing process? is sensation in your nipples something you find pleasure in and would consider trying to preserve? what does the difference in cost look like for you and how important is that to you? how important is it to be able to pass as cis if necessary? and so on. your decision might end up being made based on something other than pure aesthetics and that’s totally okay.

[satoruhour]

My gojo brainrot IS NOT HELPING ME CONCENTRATE SOMEONE BEAT THIS MAN UP A LIL PLS.

Tell me why I got this vision of girldad!gojo having a daddy-daughter day (the daughter is like 3-4) while you stayed home, cuddled up in couch,you think back of times when your daughter was born. You realise how gojo had been the best if not the bestest dad ever to yalls daughter, helping you out throughout pregnancy and in postpartum, still is one of the best role model for your daughter and the model husband for you, you fell asleep thinking about these

meanwhile they arrive home- saw you cocooned like this in the couch. Gojo wasn’t sure whether it was possible for his heart to deepen the love he has for you even more- but seeing you like this has proved him wrong.

He picks up his daughter, places a kiss on her and whispers- isn’t mommy the absolute best? To which your daughter nods.

They both grab blankets from the bedroom and places it on you while snuggling themselves against you. You wake up seeing them both cuddled up with you, when gojo presses a kiss on your forehead and motions at his daughter to which they both say-

“Thank you for being the best mom, I love you” which makes you all teary eyed

This is so corny and tooth rotting HELP-

I think my brain is going all south from the sadness of shibuya arc. I’m getting emotional at this. Gonna have to share my emotion with you T😔

AWW STOPPPP I LOVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹🥹 the gojo brain rot is so real i fear it’s never going away atp. ok but. lets focus on daddy-daughter day for a bit cause how CUTE is that ???!!!! his baby is so excited to show off how cool his dad is at school. he gets both of them matching outfits and matching hats and they look so cute with satoru holding her hand while she carries her little backpack OOUGGHHHHH IM ILL THATS SO ADORBS 😭😭😭😭 you just HAD to take a pic ! it was ur lockscreen for so long ehehe

the other kids are so in awe of gojo bc one. he’s super tall but also his features r so. striking that the boys want to BE him and some of the mothers are like attracted to him bc of how sweet he is to his baby !!! he only has eyes for you tho :p

but anyway yes you realise just how good of a dad gojo is and how blessed you were with a kid like your first daughter. he’s always so cautious while handling her, always having the brightest expression when talking to her, taking care of you endlessly even when you swore you were fine (god i need him) that you get a little teary eyed before sleeping, but ultimately you’re going to sleep with a smile on your face when satoru sends you a picture of them finishing up daddy-daughter day with big grins and ice cream (they got one for you too!!) and ugh it becomes your homescreen after LOLOL

and then when they come home 🥹🥹🥹 they grab blankets for you when they see you so comfortably snuggled up after months of stressing over whether the baby would be okay, moving everywhere in the house to take care of food, diapers, etc. even when your darling girl was born you’d still be at the forefront trying to shoulder everything bc it’s just a mother’s instinct 💗

ill change ur narrative a bit tho - i would think gojo would be carrying her when she comes back and he whispers about how youre such a good mama, and your baby girl almost shouts the idea of wanting to cover you with a blanket until satoru shushes her with a kiss to her forehead LOLOL shes too cute. before they officially go to find the blanket though, gojo is telling her something - “okay, so let’s practice this a little, ‘thank you for being the best mom, i love you!’” and ur daughter is like can we change it to mama ??? we call her mama right? and gojo wants to scream into a pillow cause his baby girl is just too cuteee 😞😞😞😞 and they practice it a little until she memorises it!

then, gojo guides her thru the house to where the spare blankets are and lets her choose and lets her lug the heavy thing out into the living room and hes so mean not helping her omg. even takes a vid of her pulling it and struggling 😭😭😭 bro is insane. but anyway they both drape it over you, but not before they’re cuddling up to you as well - all the movement and fabric wakes you

and you’re smiling wide, mumbling “welcome back” while half asleep and your baby jumps into your arms and rambles alllll about daddy daughter day and how papa was the coolest there !!!! you’re all like “oh really?” and gojo only nods, on a high horse from all the praise and you shove him with a loud laugh, only to be interrupted by “waiiittt! mama! i have something to say!!!”

they look to each other for a bit before they turn to you, your daughter struggling to catch up a little bc gojo talks so DAMN fast: “thank you for being the best mama, i love you!” they get it right the second time and by then you’re doing that downward “aww” smile with big teary eyes which they just hug to comfort you and it only makes you cry more :((((( they both give you lots and lots of kisses to make up for it !!! and later at night satoru reminds you of how large of a light you’ve been to both him and your daughter and that they really really really love you so so much

[glittercakes]

Which headcanons do you have about the Koopalings?

Let’s see…

The age order from oldest to youngest is Ludwig (18), Lemmy (17), Roy (16), Iggy (15), Wendy (14), Morton (13), and finally Larry (12).

The Koopalings are Bowser’s adopted children and you can pry that from my cold dead hands (I do not care what Miyamoto has to say about this). He was a little concerned when he kept finding random abandoned Dragon Koopa babies, but he still took them all in.

Lemmy and Iggy have the same parents, but Iggy was still an egg when they got adopted and didn’t hatch until after Roy came into the picture

For the most part, they have their personalities from the cartoons (except Ludwig is a musician/strategist and his mad scientist/inventor shtick goes to Iggy instead).

Whatever social media exists in the Mushroom Kingdom, you just know that Wendy is not only on it, but she also has tons of followers.

Morton’s caveman speak thing in Color Splash (I refuse to believe that the Paper Mario universe is separated from the main one, each post-Super game had a papery world due to magical means. I may explain this further in a future post) was a result of a concussion. Just like the cartoons, he’s a verbose guy with an inability to shut up.

A little sadder, but also in Color Splash, Black Bowser drained each Koopaling of color after their defeat, as a warning to the others to not fail. Obviously, Bowser would not have done such a thing if he was not possessed. Mario was able to restore them after the events of the game.

Funnily enough, Lemmy is the closest to Bowser Jr while Iggy is the least close.

Ludwig’s preferred instrument is the piano, but he also occasionally plays other elegant instruments like the violin or flute.

Morton is actually a really good poet, it’s just that his poems tend to go on forever.

Lemmy has a circus with some other members of the Koopa Troop.

Bowser gave the Chomp from Super Mario RPG to Iggy, as he absolutely loves Chain Chomps.

Wendy is one of the best swimmers and figure skaters in the Mushroom Kingdom (that’s why she normally takes the water and ice worlds in the main series games).

Whenever they aren’t in a game, it’s usually because they decide to take a vacation (typically somewhere that is coincidentally away from the main action).

Lemmy is really clumsy whenever he isn’t on top of one of his balls.

Larry is a really good tennis player.

Before Bowser’s Minions came out and disproved it, I liked the idea that the reason they helped Bowletta during the endgame of Superstar Saga was because Jr was being threatened.

Roy may not look like it, but he loves sappy rom-coms (bring it up and you’re dead, though).

Iggy is responsible for the upkeep of most of the Koopalings’ gear, such as their wands, clown cars, and even things like Wendy’s rings and Lemmy’s balls.

Larry has a massive sweet tooth, thus he will sometimes literally take candy from a baby.

Ludwig uses past defeats as inspiration for his symphonies.

Roy wears sunglasses due to light sensitivity.

Finally, they all love Bowser despite his many faults, and he loves them right back.

And that’s it! Feel free to add to this if you want!

[chvoswxtch]

Hello my love! I love the way you write Frank (AND Matt, but im in a Frank mood tonight). I’m not sure if you’re taking requests rn, but if you are, I love to submit one!! Tbh I’m so sick of how douchey guys are these days on apps, and the “oh you just wanted a free meal” behavior and dating rn is the fucking worst. What’s your take on a situation where you’re friends with Frank and you complain about how badly men behave these days, and he offers to take you on a real date and treat you right? Bc I could use a Frank to rescue me and treat me right rn 😫

hello my darling! thank you so much, omg. you're too kind🥺

ok first of all when I say you are PREACHING to the damn CHOIR !!! I tried a few dating apps and I loathed every single one of them. straight up was not having a good time. it was an absolute travesty, so I feel for you so hard right now angel.

this is my first time doing a headcannon so this is super exciting and i'm happy we get to do this together!! because you absolutely DESERVE a frankie to rescue you and treat you right because you are a goddamn CATCH you are a GLOWING GODDESS and anyone should be so heckin LUCKY as to go on a date with you ❤️

headcannon is going to be below the cut bc y'all know I get carried away, especially with my baby frankie

frank castle & dating apps

first things first: frank castle is very old fashioned, so the idea of a dating app probably not only confuses the fuck out of him but also makes him grimace. like the man without a doubt hates texting, preferring an actual phone call instead, and most likely comes up with a million different threats to your security and worst case scenarios when you teach him about online dating

"don't you wanna meet someone the old fashioned way? how can you tell they're not a complete asshole just by a picture and a few words? what if they ain't who they say they are? you still got that knife I gave ya?"

frank already made you share your location with him a long time ago for safety reasons but now makes you text him the address of wherever it is you're going on these "dates" as well as check in with him every hour

he would probably be adamant about coming with you and sitting in a corner somewhere so he could keep an eye on you but you quickly shot that down bc it's frank and he's very hard to miss and you would have a hard time explaining to your date why that big guy across the room looks like he's seconds away from committing murder (you know exactly which look i'm talking about)

frank requests you send him a picture of whatever guy you're meeting just in case he needs to hunt him down find him if you don't check in or something happens, and never hesitates to offer a look of utter disdain and merciless judgment when you finally send it

"really? you're goin' on a date with this? the options on them apps that goddamn bad, sweetheart?"

frank is extremely shameless in verbally eviscerating every single guy you show him or tell him about and never misses an opportunity to make his opinions known

one night you storm into his apartment without knocking (a common occurrence he's finally gotten used to) and plop down next to him on the couch with a glass a wine (he made a mental note to keep the kind you like on hand at all times) and start to vent about your latest disaster date

the guy made you drive nearly an hour out of your way to meet him at a sketchy dive bar, spent the whole night talking about himself and cutting you off every time you spoke, and then had the AUDACITY to ask you to cover the tab because he "forgot" his wallet at home (this actually happened to me once)

frank can't take it anymore. this online dating thing has been going on for months and every time you vent to him about these assholes, it gets harder and harder for him to control his feelings for you because he's supposed to be your friend and the guys you've been going out with look nothing like him and as much as he wants to be with you, he's scared to ruin the one good thing he has. so, frank hatches a plan

"alright, I can't take this shit anymore. don't make plans friday night. we're goin' out."

he says it so nonchalantly, you almost don't catch what he means. you splutter out your wine, staring over at frank because there's no way he just asked you out on a date??? frank catches your look and offers a timid smile, reaching over to squeeze your knee gently

"relax. i'm just gonna show you what a real date should be like. you've been on so many shitty ones, I don't even know if you know what a good one is. let me help you raise your standards a bit."

let me tell you something, frank castle knows a thing or two about romance. this man goes ALL OUT. picking you up at your door (on time, early even), flowers in hand (your favorites bc he actually listens when you talk), is the most dressed up you've ever seen him (it's a dress shirt and jeans but he's usually covered in blood so), opens all the doors for you and pulls out your chair, takes you to a restaurant he knew you would love bc he knows your favorite dish & dessert, spends the whole night asking you questions about things he's always wanted to know about you, makes you laugh with silly jokes and stories, and tells you several times throughout the night how beautiful he thinks you look

you've always had a crush on frank (how could you not honestly) so you were a nervous wreck about the whole thing and what it meant for your friendship and if he was just doing this to be nice because he felt sorry for you or if he actually liked you back

but the date is not only the best one you've ever been on but also the easiest because it's frank and he's your best friend and you've never felt more comfortable or at ease with someone and when the check comes it makes your heart sink because you never want this date to end, even if it isn't real

the entire walk back to your apartment there's a palpable nervous energy between the two of you and his hands are in his pockets but you desperately wish they were holding yours and when you stop at your door there's a million thoughts racing through your head that you wanna say but the look in frank's eyes steals the oxygen straight out of your lungs

"listen I uh...know I said this was just to show you how a real date should be and what not, and I did mean that but...I really just wanted to show you how you should be treated ya'know. how...how I would treat you, if you'd let me. i'd give you the goddamn world if you asked, sweetheart. I don't know if I read tonight wrong, but I know I could be the right man for you, and I think you know that too. at least, I hope you do. there's nothin' I wouldn't do for you, honey. I understand if you don't feel the same way-"

you don't even let frank finish that sentence before you're dragging him down by his collar and crashing your lips together because holy shit frank, your frank, wants you just as much as you want him

needless to say you invite him up and show him just how much you want him despite his weak attempt at trying to continue to be a gentleman

"sweetheart, we can take it slow. I don't mind-" "frank I swear to god if you don't take your pants off right now, i'm never kissing you again." "yes ma'am."

[lost-in-sokovia]

Gather around the fire, children. It is time for Rosie Ro’s headcannons. • Peony and Jay have the most special relationship, but it has its trials. I feel like during her teenage years, she might have some pent up angst about Jay being absent and unreliable. She had the reader, sure, but her dad is so smart and caring and she really looked up to that—she wanted him around more often. But also, she’s a smart girl herself and comes to understand why he made the choices he did.

• Ariel believes in unicorns. Like, really believes in them. Fairies, too. She weeps like a baby when Klitz tells her that they’re fake. (It would probably be Klitz, he’s like “well they’re not scientifically correct honey! 🤓” and reader’s like “shut up let her dream.”)

• Speaking of the Klitz family, Tim can only produce girls. Like no matter how many Klitz babies happen, he’s a chronic girl dad. (I feel like he wants a million kids with the reader but she’s like “alright slow your roll bud we can only afford so many.”)

• Peter (he’s a Soph deep cut) and Genevieve are super close. They’re like the good ending version of Annie and Ellen.

• Annie makes Joby a lot more soft. He thinks he’s all rock and roll and no feelings, but he finds himself crying just thinking about her. (Fun fact: my dad used to be in a band and he kept baby pictures of me and my brother pasted to his instrument cases. Joby vibes for sure.)

• All of the Bezukhov babies would be progressive little boys and girls. Both Pierre and reader would instill more “out there” values in them for the time period and they all grow up to be outspoken in their opinions. (Pierre has that “he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit” allyship energy about him haha.)

WOO, yippee! Feel free to agree or disagree with any of these, just my silly little thoughts. Love always! -🥀

oh i’m so excited for this okay

i totally 10000% agree with this. i think you’re spot on. i haven’t published a fic i started like six months ago yet, but like, it touches on jay being absentee and whatnot. those two are so strongly bonded though that yeah, they always work through whatever quarrels they have with each other.🤍

YES OH MY GOD. i used to love unicorns even when i knew they weren’t real. i just thought the idea of them was cool. but entirely, and ari won’t let her dad spoil things for aurora and she entertains her little sister’s love in magical beings for as long as possible :)

this man is fertile and he only makes girls amen in the name of the father, son, and timothy klitz amen

PETER OH MY LORD I LITERALLY NEVER TALK ABOUT HIM. okay this is the one headcanon i sadly have to deny because @spicedchaiandromeda and i have discussed in extent that like ginny HATES peter. she’s so jealous of him when he’s little and thinks her dad loves him more, which isn’t true of course. maybe one day i’ll touch on it but yeah, peter and ginny have a bit of a rocky relationship being half siblings and whatnot

OH A BILLION PERCENT. cause at night when he gets home late from a show and goes into her room to kiss her head, she’ll wake up and make him pull her into his arms and just rock her for a bit. she doesn’t care if he’s still a bit sweaty, she just wants her daddy. and he’ll hold her and look at her sleepy little face and sniffle because damn, what did he do to deserve this?

oh entirely!! dimitri is gay, so i mean it only makes sense!! you and pierre had always taught progressive and accepting beliefs to your children from the beginning, and when dimitri came out it became much more important. and the whole “he’s confused but he’s got the spirit” thing wipes me out because it’s totally true. pierre said “ally!🏳️‍🌈”

roro THANK YOU for the headcanons🥺 you give me motivation to complete my drafts and keep up with these babies. to everybody reading this, i apologize for the lack of interaction lately, i do love you all though and think about you🤍

[signalwatch]

Tarzan Watch: Greystoke - the Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984)

this is the most pretentious possible Tarzan poster

Watched:  04/10/2023

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Director:  Hugh Hudson

I can only imagine what the pitch meeting was for this movie, and I can totally see how it happened.  

In 1981, Hugh Hudson had directed Chariots of Fire, a movie that was a smash hit about pasty British guys running foot races and worrying about religion.  Like, you couldn't escape the movie, which I watched on TV once when I was sick as a kid and immediately erased from my memory.  But it was a big @#$%ing deal when adults went to the cinema.  

I'm sure it's great.  But it was an unlikely hit, and won Best Picture.  Career made for somebody.

So when the director of the footrace movie comes to you and says "we're gonna do Tarzan.  But now it's a prestige costume drama about how Tarzan is, in fact, a very sad ape man.  He is not a super-human living among men, continually pursued by hot women and fighting weird alien threats and large animals.  Instead, he's a kind of skinny French guy who does stuff you've seen apes do at the zoo.  But, you know, it's quite sad" I guess you trust and give that guy a sack of cash to give it a go.

A bunch of other people had seen this movie, and had more or less ape-blocked me from seeing it over the years as every time I said "I've not seen this, but I'd like to" I'd be told "No.  It is not good."  And I was like "okay, fair enough."  But tonight that didn't work, and I settled in for 2 hours and 15 minutes of sad Tarzan.

Look, at the end of the day, someone needed to realize a grown man imitating an ape is not what Tarzan is, exactly.  Or that this would be a good thing to see on screen when it did happen.  I don't know if they thought they were getting the magic on camera by having Christopher Lambert oop every time he felt an emotion, or basically having him play an ape who occasionally mutters short sentences.  Frankly, this Tarzan seems positively ready for an institution, and so it makes for an utterly unbuyable love story between John Greystoke and Jane Porter, but it's the sexy 80's, so you know they're gonna bang.  And, indeed, they do.

I've read the first Tarzan book, seen a few other Tarzan movies and read (and re-read) a Marvel comics adaptation of the first part of the first novel a fair bit, and you kind of realize the quick pitch version of the Greystokes winding up in Africa and their time there before things go sideways is more crucial than this movie thought.  Add in that this movie really, really struggles with whether Tarzan is a feral person or has the astonishing intellect of the Tarzan of the novel in order to hew closer to a very 1980's story about man and nature, man's nature and nurture, and lacking basic reasoning skills in early 20th Century Scotland.

I can maybe get with a "but what if Tarzan really happened?" angle, but you're in a constant state of "yes, but..." regression that more or less flatlines at baby John Clayton dead in the jungle two days after his discovery by Kala.  So you have to maybe accept even more, but more nuanced, absurdities than even the original novel doles out in order to buy the film.  The casting of Lambert is odd, in part because he's not exactly Johnny Weismuller, and it's difficult to believe this guy survived in the jungle against apes and leopards. But it's the fact that when Tarzan is home, he's both utterly alien to himself and the world around him, but no one seems to notice?  As he's all but flinging poo, people are just jabbering away at him.  

What's oddest is that because Lambert is fairly successful at becoming an ape(mentally), it feels as if there's no inner world to Tarzan in some ways.  We have no idea if he understands anything said to him, or the complexity of his predicament.  He self soothes by ooping and rolling around.  It's incredibly weird that the movie doesn't seem to think this is a problem.  Or maybe it's an unsolvable problem?  There's just a peculiar distance between the characters and the viewer, all of them - not just Clayton, that it's a bit odd.  

All of that is, in it's way... kind of passable.  But the movie is also morbidly predictable.  Maybe it's the era, or maybe it's that they treat Tarzan more like a cub in Born Free than a human character, but you know this shit ends with Tarzan seeing his kindly grandfather/ benefactor croaking and the demands of the world becoming too much so he wanders back into the jungle to sweeping orchestral music before our ape man ever leaves the jungle.  You know Jane will stand there impassiveley while Tarzan chooses a swift death in the jungle over endless food, luxury and sex with an actual human.  You know the noble Belgian will try to get him back to the jungle when, frankly, he's probably gonna get killed after living soft for a year.

I am sure this felt mind-blowingly clever as they were making it, but the end result is a sad man making monkey noises for 90 minutes, and then running away.  And that's maybe not what people were thinking of when they showed up to see a Tarzan flick with a budget.   

Jamie mentioned the movie felt weirdly disjointed, and upon review...  yeah.  It kinda was.  The movie can feel like it's borrowing from movies you already know, but doesn't do much with those storylines, so it's like these barely realized vignettes.  Like - the entire storyline of Jane having a suitor goes nowhere and doesn't really do what it's intended to do - ie: show Jane how Tarzan is more noble than the nobleman.  She doesn't see him beat the young helper guy.  She doesn't see Tarzan save the day.  She just dumps the guy for reasons that are vague (I mean, except wanting to live in a sweet mansion).  That's just an example.  The movie kind of does a lot of this.

It's a shame, because there's maybe a path for a Tarzan movie that tries to ground itself a bit more.  But the 1980's was probably the last decade to tell a story about Tarzan without culture's need to navigate and acknowledge Europe's fuckery in colonial Africa.  I think now you'd need to set the story post WWII or something and be careful.  ERB's original prose isn't quite as racist as you'd expect, but it's certainly a product of its time (ie: it's still racist, just not as nut punchingly straightforwardly racist as other things you'll stumble over).  

I kinda liked the 2016 Tarzan, because (a) the casting was rock solid (b) 3rd reel animal rampage and (c) making Lord Greystoke here anti-Colonial and giving a convincing argument for his desire to return home.  It's got issues, and I wanted more monkey-business, but it was all right.  That said - it was still mostly a reminder:  oh my god.  This is really hard now.

Anyway, I'm glad I finally watched it.  It made excellent use of Andie McDowall's frankly stunning hair.  Rick Baker's ape suits were everything I'd read about.  The set and locations look phenomenal.  There were genuine moments of hope for me that this might be better than expected.    

https://ift.tt/m9dawB2

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/2mAZjzG

[softly-potter]

Little Love | Chapter 2: All In

Summary: When Wanda ends up pregnant a few weeks before their wedding, having an impending family shocks them both.

Pairing: Bucky X Wanda

Word Count: 14,401

Warning: none

A/N: Find the rest of the chapters here; Chapter 1: Two Lines | Chapter 3: Talking Bodies | Chapter 4: A Visit Before the Bells | Chapter 5: An Exchange of Air | Chapter 6: Week 20 | Chapter 7: The Best Team | Chapter 8: Terrible Timing | Chapter 9: The After

-

Chapter 2: All In

Bucky tried his hardest not to startle her when he entered their apartment, finding her standing in front of the mantle. Her arms were crossed over her chest, hair tied half up half down, and her fingers played with the elbow of her orange jumper.

She’d make a beautiful mother.

Her eyes were trained on the center picture, a printed out cell phone selfie of him, Sam, Laura, and Wanda at Kate Bishop's graduation.

“Whatcha doing, honey?” he asked, swallowing thickly.

Her eyes flicked to his, smiling lightly before turning back to the images. He glanced at them as well, swaying slightly as he took in images of their history. He looked so happy in all of them that she wasn’t in, and he knew it was because she was the one taking the picture. She was always next to him in the photos, tucked into his side or holding his hand, her cheeks rosy with joy.

“Just…thinking,” she replied, reaching out and touching a frame. The frame held an image of Laura and Wanda cooking, along with the Barton children running around their legs as they attempted to lick the bowls. “We have such a great family, don’t you think?”

Bucky inched closer, touching her waist with his flesh hand. She pressed herself into his palm, which he took as a good sign. Looping his arms around her waist, he pressed his chest to her back, squeezing her to him as his chin rested on her shoulder.

She sighed, placing her hands atop his and closing her eyes. “You’re back.”

“Course I am,” he replied, nuzzling closer. He had to bend slightly to reach her height, but he didn't mind. “Doubting me?”

She didn’t respond right away, but instead rocked gently on the balls of her feet, and he wished he could see her face.

“Well, you were gone for a while,” she pointed out, turning her face slightly so that she could look at him. “So I don’t know what I thought.”

He huffed a sigh, anger at himself rising, but gave her a smile. Lifting his hand, Bucky traced his thumb along her cheek bone, and her eyes fluttered in comfort. “I didn’t…I thought you needed some time, some space. You didn’t ask me to come back.”

Leaning into his palm, she opened her eyes again and he had to gulp from the look she gave him. She kissed his palm. “And you listened because you’re perfect. I just got in my head.” She let out a small laugh.

“I am not perfect,” Bucky countered. “Far from it.”

“But you try,” she responded quickly, pressing another kiss to his hand. “That's all I could ever ask for.” She smiled at him, and he could practically feel her place her heart in his hands. “Besides, this is unexpected for both of us. You need time to process this change, too.”

Fear gripped him like a vice, twisting around him like chains, a fear he hadn’t identified before. This child was everything they could hope for, but it was also part of him, and he was dangerous. Would it have powers? Super strength like its father, or the ability to bend reality like its mother? Bucky had sworn to never allow Wanda to go through any more pain. She was done with being put through the emotional ringer. But he had no control over the physical, had no idea what this baby could do to her.

The dread and fear began to grow, and he clenched his jaw. “I’ll always be here for you.” Bucky assured her in a shaky voice. He dipped his head down, pressing his forehead against hers, hands against her back to hold her to him. He just needed to feel her, needed to know she was there after the anxious days.

She breathed out slowly, her breath fanning his face as she kissed his nose, hands moving to cup his neck. “What’d you come up with?” he asked after a moment, wishing this feeling, the closeness, didn’t have to end.

Wanda craned her neck to look up at him as he straightened, pulling him to sit with her on their couch. “I thought about you, about…my boys. About how much I missed them.” Her eyes looked far away, a faint smile on her face. “I thought about how much they’d love having a baby sibling to take care of.”

Bucky nodded, clasping her hand. There wasn’t much comfort he could say to that.

“But they’re gone,” she said quickly, eyes blinking. “I had my time with them, and I cherished it. I think I should cherish my time with our baby, too…with all of us.”

“Wanda,” he whispered her name, fingers curling around hers slowly, the guilt tracing up his spine. “Listen, I-I didn’t know I could-- we could…that…it shouldn’t be possible.”

She was patient, waiting for him to take a breath over his stumbled words, her face calm and impassive.

He took a shaky inhale. “I just…I’m sorry I put this on you without warning.”

“Bucky,” her voice was gentle as she squeezed his hand in hers, and scooted closer to him. He welcomed the contact, pressing his nose into her hair. “Do you really think I blame you?” She ducked her head, forcing him to look at her. He knew there were shadows under his eyes and that he needed a good shave. Sleeping without her was like sleeping on a rock; nearly impossible.

When he didn't answer, she clicked her tongue.

“Bucky, this is not your fault. This is not a pain that you’ve inflicted on me,” Wanda said, her voice strong. He patted her thigh with his hand nervously, not knowing where to look. “I never thought about kids for you and me because…well, it was impossible. But now…baby, we have a chance.”

He swallowed thickly, nodding, and Wanda leaned forward to press her forehead against his once more. She smelled like cinnamon, her shampoo fresh in her locks. He didn’t deserve this peace, didn’t deserve this good.

Maybe she hadn’t been thinking about blaming him, but she was certainly thinking about the future now, and did that have room for him? “You needa do whatever is best for you, baby” he murmured, drawing circles with his hand against her thigh, trying to soothe himself. He cringed at his own actions. When had he become such a fucking bitch?

“Hey, hey, stop it,” Wanda told him, snapping her fingers in front of his face. He blinked, stared at her hands then glanced at her face. She was smiling, and he felt his heart settle just a bit. “Where'd you go?”

“Just thinkin’,” he answered, looking down.

She sighed lightly, pressing her face against his shoulder.” “Promise me something?” she asked, voice muffled.

She could ask for the Infinity Gauntlet and he’d try to get it for her. He nodded wordlessly.

“Promise we’re in this together? I just…” She took a breath. “I just need to know you’ll be by my side no matter my decision.”

He swallowed the gravel of despair that had grown in his throat, focusing instead on her warmth as she cuddled into his side. “Of course, darlin,” he breathed, giving her a lopsided grin. “Whatever you want.”

She pressed her nose to his cheek, one hand cupping against his neck. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I thought…I thought it was over,” he admitted.

“What was over?”

“Us.”

She tucked herself under his arm, nestling closer, and Bucky pulled her to him even tighter. “Never,” she whispered. “I’m with you till the end.”

It was like his chest had been converted from lead to mist. He felt weightless with relief.

“I just want you to know I’m here, whatever you decide,” he breathed, shutting his eyes. “If you wanna family, then fuck it, let's have a family. But if you want our life to stay the same, say the word and I’ll drive you to the clinic right now.”

Wanda glanced down, taking his other hand into hers, caressing the metal. “Well, what do you want?” she questioned almost shyly.

He shook his head. “No, this is about you, your body. You're the one he’s going to be carrying all of this. It's your health. I’m not taking that from you.” He couldn’t do that to her, could never take any option she wanted away from her. He remembered what it was like to not have control of your body, to have things done without his consent. Bucky would never let her feel like that.

“Thank you, I appreciate that you care so much,” Wanda replied, smiling. “But I still want to know your thoughts. On the topic of health, we should probably give Bruce a call, ask some questions. Nice to have such smart folks on speed dial.”

“What kind of questions?” Bucky asked, mouth tilting downwards.

She gave him a tight smile, a smile he knew was riddled with worry. “I had a few concerns because…well, I doubt this will be a normal pregnancy.” She squeezed his hand, but he suddenly felt cold. He hadn’t thought about that, not really. “He said it could be…difficult. But they don’t know, since this has never happened before.”

“The serum.” Bucky gulped. “Because of me. This pregnancy is at high risk because of me?”

“Baby, a super soldier infant would be difficult for a normal girl. But I’m the Scarlet Witch,” Wanda explained, her voice humorous, trying to pull him out of the dark hole she knew he was descending in. “I'll be fine, and so will she.”

“She?” Bucky repeaked weakly. Wanda smiled, looking down at her still-flat abdomen, but Bucky couldn’t join her in her joy. He had seen first hand what the serum can do. Was she really going to be able to handle that?

“It's just a feeling.” Wanda whispered, almost to herself.

Bucky nodded, but his thoughts were so far away that he barely registered her words. All he could hear was high risk and difficult and he couldn't fathom the thought of something he did, taking her away from him.

In the past few years, Bucky had made great progress in self-worth and self-forgiveness. But as he heard more and more about Wanda's pregnancy, the only thing he could do was blame himself.

“So how can we help it? How can I help it?” he asked, fear leaking into his voice.

She took a breath, breathing out through her nostrils slowly. “Rest, monitoring the fetal activity,” she replied calmly. “Probably gonna have to start eating a lot, but mostly just rest.”

“You don’t really eat much,” he commented, scratching his head.

She laughed, the sound like little diamonds and rolled her eyes. “Yes, but think of how much you consume due to the serum.”

Bucky nodded again, like he wasn’t internally sick with worry, like his stupid sperm hadn’t put her life on the line.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Wanda's fingers gently stroking his metal palm, the sound of the city streaming lowly from their open windows.

“I don’t want this if it’ll hurt you,” Bucky said suddenly, words spilling out faster than she could capture them. “Nothing is worth your safety, nothing. Fuck, honey, I’m so sorry I never--“

He stood up with a frustrated grunt, tearing himself away from her. He wanted to pace, wanted to throttle himself for being the only thing he couldn't stop from hurting her. “I won't lose you. Especially like this.”

“Bucky…” Wanda started to say, standing slowly.

He scowled in response. He hated when she did that, hated that he made her feel the need to treat him gently.

“We have to get a handle on this because…well you know S.H.I.E.L.D. will want to be involved.”

“Fuck no,” he responded, tone like gravel. “Absouletly fucking not.”

Wanda sighed, placing her hand on the back of her neck and rubbing it, looking away. Suddenly turning on the balls of her feet, she looked at him with wide eyes. “We never talked about kids. Never needed to. Do you even want children? Do you see yourself as a father?”

Bucky felt his anger nearly explode at the idea of S.H.I.E.L.D. thinking they had any claim on Wanda or their child. But the image of little feet, bright brunette hair in pigtails and pink bows shifted to the forefront of his mind, Wanda making pancakes on Sundays while they watched cartoons, or walks in Manhattan as they shopped for presents to put under the Christmas tree.

He shoved the image away. He didn’t want it, not without her.

“Buck?” Wanda was standing in front of him, her arms crossed loosely and her face a mask of concern.

He sighed, hating that she worries so much about him. Striding to her, he takes her in his arms.

She grinned, eyes bright with possibilities. “Tell me. Ever thought about fatherhood?”

“Sorry, I’m here. Yeah, I mean…I guess at one time, I thought about it,” Bucky responded sheepishly. “But then, I was in a war and I had to let the majority of my wants go.”

“Well, if it's still a want, the opportunity has literally fallen into our laps,” Wanda muttered, craning her neck to look at him.

Bucky felt his eyes grow wide at her words. “You wanna keep it?” He leaned his forehead to hers. “Wanda, do you want to keep it?”

Silence stretched, and he shifted, pressing his mouth to her forehead. When he leaned back, she blinked rapidly and gave him a pained smile. “I think I do, but I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to do this without you. And I don’t want you to resent me for it.”

She thought he was gonna walk away from her? She was worried that he’d just leave?

He cupped her face, making sure she was hearing him and said, “I’m with you no matter what, darlin’.”

“But do you want this?” she asked again, and bless her heart, she needed the clarification. Wanda had had her hopes dashed time and time again, her future ripped from her grasp, and now her fragile state was always skeptical.

“Yes,” he answered, his voice strong enough for her to feel it. “Jesus, Wanda, I’ll go with you anywhere. I want to do this with you, build this family if it's with you. It’s…terrifying, but I'm with you.”

She scrunched her nose in the way he loved so much, her hands gripping his t-shirt lightly. “What about the wedding?”

“Oh, we’re still gettin’ married,'' Bucky told her, lowering his hand to her backside and giving her ass a squeeze. She laughed in mock surprise and swatted at him. “Ain't nothing stopping that from happening.” Wanda beamed in amusement and he wished he could freeze this moment to snap a picture. She leaned up to kiss him, but he grabbed her chin, keeping her a few inches away. “I have some stipulations.”

She gave him an odd look, brow raised. “Go on.”

“Firstly, we’re putting you first,” he instructed. “If it comes to it, your health is first. I won’t lose you, hon.”

Wanda nodded, taking ahold of the hand that gripped her chin. “Okay, okay, it won’t come to that,” she whispered in assurance, and he didn't miss the excitement in her voice.

“And you have to listen to whatever the doctors say. If they say vitamins, we buy every kind. If they say less walking, I’m carrying you everywhere.”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m serious.”

She shook her head in light agreement. “Okay,” she muttered, and he could tell she was holding back a grin. “So…we’re having a baby?”

Bucky paused, and for just a moment, he allowed a little bit of happiness seep into his chest, and the image of a little girl with Wanda’s eyes swaddled in his arms appears at the back of his mind.

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat, pressing a light kiss to her lips. “Yeah, I think we are.”

The look she gave him could be considered the definition of peace.

[bas-rouge]

Rating Booths I went to at the Meet the Breeds Event

1) Belgian Tervuren - 10/10, one of the best booths there. Reunited with someone I met at the Collie specialty (apparently she shows Tervs too). Learnt about an upcoming show. Got to pet three of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever met. Super kind, welcoming, helpful people and super awesome dogs. I’ve never considered a Terv but their dogs were such good ambassadors for the breed

2) Collie - 6/10, people running it didn’t seem interested in talking to me which was, like, fine but a little odd considering that was the point of the event and I came at a reasonable time. Bonus points because I got to meet that puppy I held at the specialty again. He’s so big now

3) Norwegian Buhund - 10/10, person running it when I came by was so kind and friendly and I really loved talking to them. Sweet dog and very enthusiastic. If you’re on Tumblr it was really awesome to meet you and thank you so much for the conversation :^)

4) Bouvier des Flandres - 6/10, person running it also didn’t really want to talk to me which, again, fine but a little odd. Bonus points because I’ve never seen a Bouvier irl before and because all of my photos of him are basically just a grey blur with teeth

5) Belgian Malinois - 10/10, super sweet people and super sweet dogs. Super willing to talk about the breed and the direction it’s going in. Really down-to-earth people. Dogs did not give a shit about me which is exactly what I anticipated. Also merch and the lady there had Malinois earrings which is fucking awesome

6) Beauceron - 10/10, super kind and down-to-earth people and super funny, friendly dogs. Super welcoming with lots of interesting facts. I thought Beauce people would be gatekeepy but they totally weren’t. Such a cool experience. First booth I saw when I walked in and I immediately ran across the room like HI HELLO IS THAT A BEAUCERON! Sad I didn’t get any good pictures because the sweet Beauce I was sitting with was just a baby and was way too excited to sit still. Also cool toes

7) Black Russian Terrier - 8/10, nothing special really. Cool guy. Super chill dog. So huge. I did not realise how huge BRTs actually are. Bonus points because the picture I took of his dog looks like a black blur

8) Bjelkier - 10/10, I’m not a spitz guy and especially not a Bjelkier guy but they were so sweet and so soft and so loving. I could have cuddled with them all day. Super nice, down-to-earth people willing to tell us all about their breed. Specialty is coming up later this month and I’m definitely considering dropping in. Great photos

9) Cane Corso - 6/10, people running the booth really didn’t seem keen on talking to me for some reason :^( I’m really bummed because I wanted to learn about the breed because I’m very interested in them but they just didn’t engage with me like they did everyone else who walked by. I have no idea why but I’m actually really, really sad about this. Why don’t you like me :^( dogs were fine though, very handsome and very sweet. Way bigger than I thought they would be

10) Greater Swiss Mountain Dog - 10/10, I was actually familiar with the people running the booth (they’re a breeder I was looking into contacting, I was really considering GSMDs until about a month ago just because I realised that they are kind of impractically large for a first-time dog owner and they seem to have really poor health?) and they were super friendly, super down-to-earth, and super welcoming. Sweet dogs. Bonus points because there was a puppy and I got a photo with one of their dogs. They are quite literally larger than I am which is shocking, I thought they would look smaller than Berners because no hair but they definitely look their size. Geez

11) Bernese Mountain Dog - 7/10, people running the booth did not seem keen on talking to us. Dogs were no thoughts-head empty and immediately attempted to bowl us over. Bonus points because the people running the booth were shocked at how long my grandma’s Berner George lived

12) Chinese Shar-Pei - 9/10, people running the booth were super cool and friendly, though they didn’t really try to advertise their breed (not a negative thing necessarily). Cute, cute dogs. They did not give a shit about us. Literally didn’t even lift their heads or look at us. But they were so cute and I got great photos. THEY LOOK LIKE CROISSANTS

13) Field Spaniel - 9/10, unfairly adorable, super nice person running the booth, gave us tons of merch and information about the breed, had like 7 dogs there, I got great photos. Point off because Field Spaniels are WAY smaller than I anticipated and I felt like I could have vaporised that dog with a single look. Her tail was wagging a bazillion miles an hour though holy shit

14) American Cocker Spaniel - 7/10, why are they so small. I cannot exaggerate how tiny these dogs are. Super excitable, super friendly. Nice people too. God they are so small though and their eyes are huge they’re very unsettling. I’m like really not a spaniel guy but these dogs kind of scared me

15) Labrador Retriever - 6/10, in an ironic twist the Lab people were not super keen on interacting with us. They had a puppy with them though and he was really cute

16) Spinone Italiano - 8/10, THEY’RE SO CUTE, the booth was super extra and gave SO much information on everything you could possibly want to know about the breed, the people running the booth were pretty keen on telling us about what kind of game they hunted and how, although they kept giving us really weird looks. Yes this is a trend. Cute photos

17) Borzoi - 7/10, they’re Borzoi which should earn them a 10/10 but they were incredibly poorly behaved and I did not like their temperament at all which is such a shame because they’re gorgeous. It’s so unfair. I can only hope that they don’t represent the entire breed because it would be really cool to get into Borzoi someday. Bad photos because they literally did not listen to a single word anyone said to them

18) Dachshund - 10/10, SO CUTE, I did not realise how small their heads are, it was very nerve-wracking petting this dog. She felt so fragile. People were super sweet and funny and they gave us stickers c:

19) Irish Wolfhound - 10/10, had to visit twice because they were so busy the first time around. Nice people, sweet dogs, I’ve met Irish Wolfhounds before and know I like them. I couldn’t own one but the people were cool and the photos were good

20) Harrier - 7/10, person running the booth did not seem keen on talking to us but the dog was super cute. Didn’t really get to pet her but she seemed very calm. Forgot to take a photo

21) Rat Terrier - Infinity/10, I FUCKING LOVE RAT TERRIERS THEY’RE LITERALLY THE PERFECT DOG BREED AND ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH ME IS WRONG! Sweetest dogs ever, super funny and super cute, they kept standing up to give us hugs and kisses. I’m so mad I didn’t get a photo

22) Australian Terrier - 5/10, I got to see a dog getting stripped I guess

23) American Staffordshire Terrier - 10/10, the dog was such a sweetheart and immediately rolled over on his back in the middle of the aisle for belly rubs. Proceeded to lay like that for almost 10 minutes and had to be forced back onto his paws. Person running the booth was really kind and down-to-earth. I should have gotten a photo

24) Finnish Spitz - 10/10, like I said I’m not a spitz guy but I absolutely fell in love. Such amazing ambassadors for the breed, super kind and informative people running the booth, such sweet dogs. Cannot exaggerate how sweet these dogs were. So soft. So cuddly. I could have snuggled with them all day. I didn’t get any good photos because the dogs were so wiggly. Unfortunately the breed is super rare and again I’m not a spitz guy so I’m a little mad they stole my heart

25) Keeshond - 10/10, holy shit they are so sweet and funny, they are literal puffballs, I could have cuddled them all day. Got some great photos, they are very photogenic. People running the booth were super kind and funny and taught us a lot about the breed. My boy really liked them too

26) Dalmatian - 7/10, I saw a Dalmatian and took some photos

27) French Bulldog - 8/10, I actually came back here right before leaving because a guy at a French Ring booth gave them such a shining review and I’ve never met one. Sweet, funny dogs. Unfortunately had no nostrils and made weird bulldog noises and shed SO MUCH

28) Glen of Imaal and Norwich Terriers - 10/10, we got to hold the Norwich Terrier and he was such a sweetheart. Got some great photos of him. The Glen of Imaal Terrier would not sit still. They are really big which is funny because the Norwich Terrier was TINY

29) Biewer Terriers - 2/10, I got to see some dogs in a stroller I guess

30) Pugs - 10/10, I kind of went up to the booth as a joke because I don’t care for brachy dogs but WOW they were so sweet and soft. They shed SO MUCH so that just solidified the reality that I could NEVER have one. The people running the booth were super kind and friendly and obviously truly loved their dogs. Wow those dogs were so sweet and so photogenic. Such kissable foreheads aswell

31) Newfoundlands - 10/10, THEY’RE HUGE??? Super ultra mega cute, super ultra mega sweet, drooled all over us and would not stop begging for pets. How do their eyes stay in their sockets though

32) French Ring guy? - 10/10, such a sweet Terv, so well-trained. Beauce was asleep the whole time we were visiting. Also invited us to watch the French Ring and Mondio event coming up, I wish I would’ve written down when it was, I know where it’s going to be held but can’t for the life of me remember when :^(

That was it! There were also English Bulldogs (I’ve met enough to know I’m not a fan), Bedlington Terriers (my boy would not let us get near the booth because they freak him out), West Highland White Terriers (super busy booth, there are tons in my neighbourhood and they always try to attack Rileydog so I don’t have a high opinion of them), Golden Retrievers (I’ve met enough to know I’m seriously not a fan), Shih-Tzus (again, not a fan, I’ve met enough), Whippets (surrounded by a swarm of young children), Chesapeake Bay Retrievers (doing a demo the whole time), and Old English Sheepdogs (couldn’t visit, too many people).

Overall, amazing experience. I was really worried it would be a “meet the Golden Retriever/Labrador Retriever” event but there were a lot of cool, unique breeds and cool people. Definitely solidified my feelings for a lot of breeds and YES I FINALLY GOT TO MEET A BEAUCERON IRL OH MY GOD

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Nancy & Teddy Pt.3

Teddy: Perhaps I’ll murder her, people snap when others are as cruel to them as you’ve been to me

Nancy: Why wouldn’t you murder me, I’m laying here with her

Teddy: Because I want you to live with it

Nancy: Yeah

Teddy: I’m serious about us being together, if you’re dead that’s hardly feasible

Nancy: then I’ll hold her down for you

Teddy: I can see it now

Nancy: Me too

Nancy: she keeps breathing too big though and it’s upsetting me

Teddy: You’ll have to think about something else

Teddy: I’m picturing you in a shock collar until your behaviour changes, for instance, it’s given me a real mood boost

Nancy: 🐶🥺

Nancy: Your punishment ideas are only making me want to behave much worse, btw

Teddy: I shouldn’t have shared them with you, giving you the silent treatment would be a fitting punishment, fatherhood is unfairly difficult

Nancy: You need some stimulating conversation after the long day you’ve had

Teddy: You’re right, I’ll go & talk to [some peeps at the club that they both know so she has an opinion about them] 

Nancy: Ha!

Nancy: we both know I’m your favourite person to talk to

Teddy: Thankfully, because ALL we’re going to do is talk

Nancy: well if you won’t come over, I can’t do anything to change that

Teddy: You could, I know you always have your own ideas

Nancy: I suppose you could find someone in the club that looks like me

Nancy: but she doesn’t look a thing like you so what am I meant to do?

Teddy: A pillow over her head can only do so much

Nancy: yeah, no dick either 😔

Teddy: But you do have [whatever she used before that was the right size of his] to fit inside of her & then yourself

Nancy: OH

Teddy: Nobody in the club is going to be as fun as that 😔

Nancy: Come on, don’t give up

Nancy: we can think of an equally fun idea for you

Teddy: No, you’ll be having the most fun you can possibly have & I’ll be super bored, which is typical when you’re the one who’s supposed to be receiving a punishment

Nancy: I won’t touch her

Nancy: not unless we can do it together

Teddy: All I can do is take the word of someone who doesn’t even trust mine

Nancy: If you weren’t in a club, you could call me

Nancy: I’ll buy you a baby monitor, what about that?

Teddy: It won’t arrive immediately, she’ll be gone

Nancy: I’m not going to do it, please

Teddy: If you say so, oh wait, no, that’s still trust based

Nancy: Teddy, I get it

Teddy: Good, please understand that without it we can barely do anything we want to

Nancy: I’m sorry

Teddy: You will be, the amount of fun you’ll miss out on if you don’t trust me

Nancy: Okay, then I’ll trust you

Teddy: We’ll see

Nancy: I love you, I didn’t say it earlier when you did so

Teddy: You’re just saying it now as something you think I want to hear

Nancy: If that was the case, you’d be happier to hear it

Nancy: I just want to

Teddy: I’m happy when you mean it & I can tell that isn’t the case

Nancy: You don’t want to hear it because you’re enjoying being mean too much

Teddy: You want to get your own way

Nancy: I want you to love me again

Teddy: Well, the blackmail plot is reserved for my father

Nancy: Wow, alright then

Teddy: You can’t manipulate me as easily

Nancy: That’s not what this is

Teddy: It is, I’m not a complete fool

Nancy: Have a good rest of your evening

Teddy: You too

Nancy: yeah, fuck you too

Teddy: A fantastic choice of words considering how reluctant you are to

Nancy: You’re the one who won’t fucking come over and do it

Teddy: I wouldn’t need to come over if you hadn’t kicked me out in the first place

Nancy: It’s too late now, she’ll be too conscious 

Teddy: Yeah, it is

Nancy: You’re a child

Teddy: You have the option to fuck someone your own age, tonight or on any other

Nancy: yeah, now you’re bored I do

Teddy: Have a marvellous time 

Nancy: Obviously

Teddy: I’ll drink to it

Nancy: No need to waste any more time thinking about me

Teddy: The Nancy I think about isn’t a disappointment the way you’re determined to be, it’s fine 🥂

Nancy: You’re determined to be disappointed in whatever I say or do now

Teddy: No, but it’s unfortunate I am

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: all because I sent you away

Teddy: You’ve thrown this all away repeatedly, I’ve lost count of how many times over the course of today you’ve told me we’re through with everything

Nancy: So what, it’s your turn?

Nancy: If you don’t want it then you’re cutting your own nose off

Teddy: I haven’t once agreed to your nonsense

Nancy: You’re pushing me away

Teddy: I’m not giving you exactly what you want the moment you decide you want it, because the next you’ll change your mind & say you don’t

Nancy: Then there’s no point carrying on this conversation, so go talk to [whoever he said before] and have fun, seriously

Teddy: It’s always on your terms or absolutely nothing

Nancy: It was you who said you’d give me everything I want, now you’ve taken it back

Nancy: Do you actually have anything to say?

Teddy: I can’t do this with you at the same time as what I have to do with your idiot cousin, I’ll lose my grip on my sanity

Nancy: Oh my GOD, I’m not doing anything

Nancy: what have you taken, you’re being super paranoid 

Teddy: [whatever he has taken because lol I’m sure you have]

Nancy: that explains it

Teddy: What explains you? Because today has been ridiculous

Nancy: If you’re saying I should be medicated, I’ve tried plenty of what they hand out

Teddy: I just want to know

Nancy: I tried to explain it to you before but I obviously don’t know well enough myself because we’re here again

Teddy: Things can’t have gone that right with her & this wrong with you, it’s entirely the opposite way to how I’d like them to be

Nancy: When you’ve come down and back up again, come find me and we’ll make up

Teddy: Okay, I will

Nancy: I’ll remind you if you don’t

Teddy: Please

Nancy: It’s a promise

Teddy: I hope so, it’s vile to miss you as much as I do

Nancy: I know, I told you I feel sick

Nancy: you can move in as soon as possible, can’t you

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: We can make an excuse, that you need to, she’ll be thankful, even though she can’t move herself in as well

Teddy: I’ll go with the star crossed lovers angle, my parents are furious I’m dating her but I am, because we’re SO in love I HAVE to

Nancy: She’ll eat that up

Teddy: & they are going to be furious, whether enough to kick me out in reality yet or not

Nancy: You can’t very well tell them it’s not real, ruins the fun

Teddy: You’ll come out of it extremely well, being supportive & offering me a place to stay

Nancy: I’m obviously your two’s biggest fan

Teddy: I’ve been an idiot, I don’t know why either

Nancy: Neither of us does this often

Teddy: I think I’m scared too, of you like you are of me

Nancy: yeah

Nancy: and tonight I’m sorry because I want you close to me

Teddy: I didn’t expect it to hurt as badly as that, when you didn’t

Nancy: It was like watching myself from the ceiling, it just happened, beyond my control

Teddy: I can relate, since I arrived at this club I may as well have been on the ceiling

Nancy: I know those nights

Nancy: where are you going to go after

Teddy: Home?

Teddy: the [this drug he’s on] isn’t helping

Nancy: Want me to keep you company then?

Teddy: I can’t promise I’ll be good company

Nancy: I can handle it

Nancy: you should probably have some [either booze or another drug that has the opposite effect to whatever he has taken] try to level out

Teddy: [go find that and send evidence of you taking it like a good boy lol, looking a mood and a moment doing it no doubt despite the state of you]

Nancy: There you go, that’ll help 🥰

Teddy: [suggest something she’d have to hand whether that’s drugs or a drink to help with how sick she said she felt] will help you

Nancy: [do the same and be in your own bed now because leave that gal alone]

Teddy: How DARE you look incredible when you feel bad

Nancy: says you, always looking like that

Teddy: I feel like a child, wanting to ask you out & hold your hand & kiss you

Nancy: Everyone is so corrupted by the time they hit like year 10, that’s why, everyone is a mess

Nancy: I like holding your hand, a lot

Teddy: It’s a blur, my entire childhood, perhaps I should find that slightly concerning?

Nancy: Quite possibly

Nancy: but you are the baby, if everything is already a mess before you even understand it all

Teddy: I didn’t quite fix everything as intended

Nancy: You’re too good to waste your time trying, it’s all a farce, the loving family

Teddy: You know I can give you that though, don’t you? 

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: you already give me more

Nancy: attention, energy, even when that’s used on being mad

Teddy: Even fighting with you feels good

Nancy: It means you care, you’ve not given up

Teddy: Today was a blip, I’m not giving up

Nancy: Me either, I’m going to make you stuck with me forever

Teddy: Not stuck, that’s your cousin in her [whatever outfit she was wearing that he bought for her, calling it by its designer probably like a dick]

Nancy: The swelling 🤭

Teddy: Put it on for me when she leaves

Nancy: There’s no point her taking it home, after-all

Teddy: & let me take you to [wherever they went on this notp date]

Nancy: Please, you have to

Teddy: Anything Grace & I do

Nancy: I can’t stand being jealous of her, it’ll make me crazy

Nancy: crazier

Teddy: You don’t deserve to be left out

Nancy: thank you 🥺

Teddy: We aren’t going to have any repeats of what happened, I’m going to treat you like royalty

Nancy: I’m going to be so much nicer

Teddy: Rex can be jealous, neither of us

Nancy: He’ll be so happy to have you home with us

Teddy: He must be 🐶🥺💔 his mummy & daddy fighting for such a long time

Nancy: I’ll tell him we’re making up and he can watch, poor baby

Teddy: Is he there with you right now?

Nancy: Yes, I woke him up when I left the spare room

Teddy: [some kind of shameless voice note in his dog/baby voice that’s actually purely for her benefit, we know the vibes]

Nancy: I’m trying to give you so many babies so you have to talk like that forever 

Teddy: I have no complaints about making them forever

Nancy: best daddy

Teddy: I want to fuck you constantly

Nancy: You need to, nothing else could be as important

Teddy: I was hard for you the entire time, she couldn’t even tell

Nancy: She couldn’t even see straight

Nancy: it’ll never be for her

Teddy: Every inch is for you

Nancy: I am so happy, I just want you, no one else 

Teddy: I believe you this time

Nancy: You have to, I need to be with you

Teddy: I need you now, I can’t stand being without you

Nancy: I could come to yours? We can be together

Teddy: What about her?

Nancy: I think she’ll be fine

Nancy: neither of us has ever actually choked on our own vomit and we’ve been much more wasted

Teddy: Still, if anyone would die at the precise moment things are about to be really entertaining for us

Nancy: yeah, you’re right but

Nancy: God, I am losing it without you

Teddy: Embarrass her into boarding the earliest possible flight home

Nancy: That’s what I do best

Nancy: and you did go out after your date, what could be more shaming?

Teddy: I’ll come over the instant she’s away

Nancy: You’re only making it in the door so no one but us gets to appreciate all the things we need to do

Teddy: & I hate for Rex to escape thinking I’m upset at you because he hasn’t had a chance to see us happy again

Nancy: He’s too little, he has to stay with us

Nancy: he’ll be almost as happy she’s gone, she takes too much attention

Teddy: She’s too loud

Nancy: and clumsy

Teddy: There isn’t going to be any water in his bowl for him to drink with her kicking it as often as she does

Nancy: Did think you were going to force me to drink out of it… which is fun and all but I might want my own bowl so he doesn’t bite my face off

Teddy: I’ve NEVER seen you drink water, you’ll have to have your own for what you actually drink out of it

Nancy: Hey 😅 I hydrate!

Nancy: but again, the possibilities are intriguing and endless

Teddy: You must, your skin would be horrific otherwise & it isn’t

Nancy: are you going to call me old and wrinkly now

Teddy: No baby

Nancy: You kinda did, she said I was too old for you, or you were too young for me

Teddy: She’s got a lower IQ than Rex has, don’t listen to her

Nancy: We think the same, however old

Teddy: & I couldn’t be any more attracted to you

Nancy: You were hard the whole time 😸😸

Teddy: [some pics he had taken at some point to illustrate this fact but then got too distracted to show her because she kicked him out etc]

Nancy: I’m going to die when you’re inside me

Teddy: [tell her some more deets from this date that you forgot to whisper to her earlier cos the excitement and everything but have just come back to you rn cos of sending those pics]

Nancy: No one else could do this like you, you know that

Nancy: It would be so boring, if it worked at all

Teddy: I’m irreplaceable 

Nancy: You’re perfect for me

Teddy: I’ll feel perfect inside of you, you already know that after [whatever she used as a replica]

Nancy: I kept that under my pillow, it’s the closest I could feel to you whilst you were on your date

Teddy: Keep it in you until she wakes up

Nancy: I’m practising 👅

Teddy: I want you to feel close to me, for it to feel real until we’re back together

Nancy: You’re not leaving, not until she’s back, all we’re going to do is fuck

Teddy: Order your new bed, it has to be here

Nancy: Alright

Nancy: you don’t have to call in sick to Uni, right, you just don’t show?

Teddy: Nobody’ll care but the rugby team

Nancy: They can have you back when I’m finished

Teddy: I won’t let you be finished with me

Nancy: Okay, but I absolutely insist you let me watch you getting all muddy wrestling around with other hot guys

Teddy: I’ll hurt someone just for you 

Nancy: I’ll still kiss you better instead

Teddy: I’ll have to buy you something [whatever these rugby colours are], maybe [something boujee and ridiculous]?

Nancy: Rex wants us all to match too 🥰😌

Nancy: He just said

Teddy: [this boy just having a lil online shopping spree rn and letting her know about all of it, I dread to think]

Nancy: 🥳

Nancy: [send him bed options you’re looking at that have no business being so expensive]

Teddy: [Tell her your faves and ask her when’s the soonest they can be delivered etc because obvs wanna fuck on it ASAP and ideally for the first time that y’all do in her bed so dealbreaker on which one you pick]

Nancy: [do some more research because I’m sure for the right price you can make them take your bed and deliver this one tomorrow, everything can be sorted with cash as long as you’re not asking for some custom bed which is not the vibe, just new for the mood and the moment tah]

Teddy: [oh to be rich, we all know he’s gonna be buying her all sorts of shit for that bed too, the most expensive sheets ever like it’s nbd, a million pillows, the list goes on]

Nancy: 🤴👸 

Nancy: No one else is allowed to sleep in it, ever

Teddy: Promise & I’ll trust you to keep it

Nancy: I promise, not even her

Teddy: Especially not her, some things need to be ours or this isn’t going to work

Nancy: Rex is ours too

Teddy: & he can be mean to her in ways we can’t

Nancy: YOU could bite her too, but how into it she could be is probably a little off-putting

Teddy: I’ll find what she isn’t & do it anyway

Nancy: 😍

Nancy: He isn’t house-trained, I intend to direct him towards her things when I next notice him looking for somewhere to go

Teddy: [just shading her by suggesting things you think she has that this dog should piss on based on your opinion of poor Grace, rightly or wrongly, soz hun]

Nancy: [just join in with suggestions that all seem outlandish but some are clearly real ‘cos you actually know and you’re leaving it to his imagination to work out what is and isn’t]

Teddy: [having a lovely time mocking this girl, excuse us]

Nancy: I missed you so

Teddy: I love you so

Nancy: I love you too

Nancy: you’re going to feel it

Teddy: I do, that’s been the difficulty of today

Nancy: I’m sorry I’m shit at this, I’ve never needed to be good, no one has wanted it

Teddy: I’m not used to struggling either, it rarely happens

Nancy: I can tell

Nancy: I’m going to show you, how to fake struggling at Uni

Teddy: It’ll make such a difference, to be able to put Uni to one side for the time being

Nancy: You’re already going to be pulled in so many directions for all our plans to come together

Teddy: I’m seriously relying on you & your help, you understand that now, don’t you?

Nancy: Totally, you need me

Teddy: We need each other

Nancy: yeah, every time it’s said, it becomes a little less terrifying of a prospect

Teddy: Soon you won’t even be afraid

Nancy: I don’t mind being a little bit afraid, I can handle it for this

Teddy: Be a big, brave girl & you can be a baby when she’s far away

Nancy: You did ask really nicely there 🥺 

Nancy: I’ll try harder

Teddy: So will I, I haven’t been super supportive thus far

Nancy: We’ll learn together

Nancy: even if I’d been loads of people’s serious girlfriend before, I want to be right for you

Teddy: You are right for me, it’s crazy how right you are

Nancy: You’re too right, thinking about losing you nearly made me puke already

Teddy: Did the [whatever he suggested] make you better or have I got more work to do?

Nancy: No it worked 🥰 and you being nice again

Teddy: I think you trump the [whatever drug he took to balance out] too at stabilising my mood

Nancy: This makes me feel like being unbearable in public with you

Teddy: There are somehow numerous places lacking the required courage to ask me to leave, you could be the girl to change that

Nancy: ‘Challenge’ accepted

Teddy: It’ll make the legitimate challenge your cousin poses much more bearable, for both of us to have that one in mind

Nancy: Definitely

Nancy: absolutely no one is going to tell her anything that happens whilst she’s not here, she doesn’t know anyone like that

Teddy: & should anyone dare to attempt it, she isn’t going to believe them over you

Nancy: Never

Nancy: not when I’m the only one supporting your forbidden union 🙄😘

Teddy: Our total freedom to do as we please remains, she isn’t turning our entire lives upside down

Nancy: this plan is for our benefit entirely, if it’s not working for us, it’s not happening

Teddy: We both need to just keep that firmly in mind & not lose sight of it again

Nancy: it’s just pretend she gets everything she wants, it’s real for us

Teddy: It’s OUR forbidden union 

Nancy: I don’t care who I hurt for you

Teddy: Hurt [the peeps he mentioned talking to before, soz that you’ve done literally nothing to deserve this rn] for me

Nancy: Now I have your permission to act batshit… 😈

Teddy: Let it out, you’ve had a horrid day

Nancy: I’ll start tonight but how much does cyberbullying really get to anyone? I’ll have to get out tomorrow night

Teddy: They’ll be at [wherever they’ve said, whether directly to this boy or he’s overheard]

Nancy: And you’ll buy me a new outfit too

Teddy: Whatever she gets you will, except yours is allowed to be flattering

Nancy: I would recommend you let me look better at the end of it, for your own sake, darling

Teddy: Noted, the mighty will have fallen far enough when word spreads Grace & I are official

Nancy: 😬 Good thing you don’t care, it’ll be bad for your rep for

Nancy: forever, if it was real

Teddy: The sacrifices I willingly make for you

Nancy: It’s going to be worth it

Nancy: you can have anything you want from me

Teddy: I know, I’m spurred on by it

Teddy: waiting days to contact her will be tortuous

Nancy: You could open with that

Teddy: She’ll show you whether I do or not, do let me know your thoughts on the opener I choose

Nancy: Undoubtedly it will be far more restrained because she’s so frigid

Teddy: I’ll embody my brother for a spot of roleplay, flowery language that essentially means nothing & goes nowhere

Nancy: Copy and paste poetry for the most generic girl, couldn’t be more perfect

Teddy: I’m in no danger of losing myself as long as I also have you, the least generic girl in the city

Nancy: A boy like you could never be that boring, I’m not concerned you’re going to fall for her

Teddy: I’d sooner fall into [somewhere neither of them would be caught dead] or the arms of [likewise someone they mutually cannot stand]

Nancy: If you ever succumb to such insanity, I’ll get you sectioned, it won’t be hard for me 

Teddy: Saving me from myself would be beyond necessary, yes

Nancy: That is how much I care about you

Nancy: you know I’d be so dreadfully bored alone, too

Teddy: You’re so loving 🥺

Nancy: You make it seem worthwhile, it’s always seemed pointless, caring

Teddy: It was, the point is you & I realising we’re perfect for each other

Nancy: How is it you, you’re so fucking gorgeous

Teddy: Because you are too

Nancy: marry me

Teddy: Meet me in [the boujee-est ring shop ever] when you’re ready to do it

Nancy: and there isn’t a half-dead girl to keep on the right side of 💀

Nancy: it can’t come soon enough

Teddy: There’s no harm in looking at 💍 until then, she isn’t even beside you in bed anymore

Nancy: because I’m behaving, was

Nancy: [send him these websites to look at together, trying to find how dramatic and expensive you can possibly be, which I’m sure we can’t even comprehend]

Teddy: My 😇

Teddy: [god, I just know most of them are hideous because the diamonds would be so big and ridiculous yikes, but obvs he’s joining in and getting into it, as well as being shady about Chlo’s ring and his sister’s at the same time I’m sure, as well as anyone else they know who has gotten married]

Nancy: Yours, however well I’m behaving

Nancy: [truly, just tell him about every friend you have who either outright gave their mans the ring they wanted like this or nothing or ended up returning whatever effort they got for the one they wanted because so real]

Teddy: You’re friends with some real pieces of work, Nance 

Nancy: Isn’t everyone?

Teddy: Everyone worth knowing 

Nancy: I’m not going to do that to you, I didn’t like hurting you like today

Teddy: Once will suffice, we’ve both learned our lesson

Nancy: you can still try the shock collar, if you like

Teddy: Have you ordered one?

Nancy: [confirmation, ‘cos you clearly have lmao]

Nancy: whoops

Teddy: 😈

Nancy: In my defence, I didn’t know how else to cheer you up at the time

Nancy: it was the one thing you seemed certain you wanted 

Teddy: I haven’t changed my mind since, it’s still something I want

Nancy: I want it too, quite badly

Teddy: We do have an example to set after all, how else is Rex supposed to learn unless he sees me fucking you like a 🐶?

Nancy: He’s relying on you to teach him everything you know, truly

Nancy: and he does love to watch, he’s always staring at me, he’ll be even more intrigued when you’re the one pounding me instead

Teddy: I owe it to him to take the responsibility extremely seriously

Nancy: and me

Teddy: & you

Nancy: and I’ve never had this long to fantasize about anyone before, to prepare, it always just happens

Teddy: There didn’t seem to be any appeal to waiting, you want something & you get it as soon as is possible

Nancy: right, exactly

Nancy: and I haven’t even always got everything I wanted like you, that’s still how I felt

Teddy: You’re changing me

Nancy: not too much, I hope

Nancy: I like you as you are

Teddy: Hopefully in ways that’ll make me even more likeable

Nancy: 😸

Nancy: Would you like a housewarming party when you move in?

Teddy: I’d LOVE a housewarming party

Teddy: Is she going to be there?

Nancy: 🤔

Nancy: You’d have to be on your best behaviour until she was too blitzed to remember what you were doing

Nancy: not that that takes long

Teddy: We could have one with her in attendance & one without? 

Nancy: We could, definitely

Nancy: or we could see just how badly we can get her to behave, anything you do will become irrelevant if she yet again commits faux pas after faux pas

Teddy: What a fantastic idea

Nancy: [tell him of examples of you being obviously shitty to Grace which you’ve then gaslit her away from by getting her blasted so she can’t remember and then makes a fool of herself in various ways you encourage her to]

Teddy: You have to be the mother of all my children, nobody else is going to come close to acceptable now I’ve heard that

Nancy: 😳😖

Nancy: ALL of them?

Teddy: It’s important I have sons, J doesn’t have any, but even I can’t control how many attempts it may take

Nancy: I’ll try my hardest but any myths about being able to control it are definitely bullshit

Teddy: Obviously, there’s getting science involved, but that rather takes the fun out of it 🧪

Nancy: I’d rather have several unwanted daughters, if it’s all the same to you

Teddy: They wouldn’t be entirely unwanted, as previously discussed I could name them after you as I like saying it SO much, or they’ll end up taking after you in other ways which will only please me

Nancy: Fuck

Nancy: as long as they look like you, for their own sakes

Teddy: My mother’s side of the genetic code has proven stronger, thankfully, but perhaps I’d like them to be the spitting image of you, what then? Are we going to have another fight?

Nancy: I know you’d make them feel the prettiest, so no, no fighting if that’s what you want

Teddy: You’re the prettiest

Teddy: you’re fucking beautiful, Nancy, no argument

Nancy: Ha, don’t make me cry, please

Teddy: It would take more than a few tears to turn you ugly

Nancy: You’ve always been distractingly handsome, now I get to do something about it

Nancy: as long as her back’s turned

Teddy: She’ll be busy waiting on me once I move in, fetching me drinks or whatever else

Nancy: She takes like no classes at school, she only needs [the minimum you do to go to beauty school] she’s not busy

Teddy: I’m doing her a favour, they’re skills she’ll need for her minimum wage job

Nancy: She’d be lucky to pick up for a guy like you, that job does actually require a little more than fast typing skills, after-all

Teddy: Maybe my father could be convinced to employ her, I doubt he’s opposed to my sloppy seconds given his track record

Nancy: Your father bending your future wife over a desk is very fair grounds to not show for the wedding

Teddy: Though I’m not certain how I feel about him taking away my role as villain 

Nancy: Very true

Nancy: she’ll feel bad but in the guilty she lost you and ruined it way, not in the you never loved her and it was all a lie way

Nancy: entirely different plot

Teddy: She feels like that at the moment & satisfying as it is

Nancy: It’s not quite right

Nancy: plus your father is not leaving your mother to start a new life with Gracie

Teddy: He’d tire of her after 15 minutes

Nancy: Wow, giving him a lot of credit there

Nancy: Impressive for an old guy

Teddy: From what I’ve heard, it’s warranted, however begrudgingly I relay the info & almost immediately regret giving you access to it 

Nancy: 🤐😶 from me, promise

Teddy: You’re not to sleep with my father, promise

Nancy: It would seem like I was trying to collect your family

Nancy: I would never, not now

Teddy: My sister would be a maybe, given the hostage negotiations necessary at this point to free her from her awful decisions, but regrettably I believe those bad choices extend to you not being her ‘type’

Nancy: What did she like, before old men?

Nancy: I didn’t ever feel in direct competition with her for dates, and trust me, it is that intimate a scene

Teddy: She openly dated [name drop some people that Nancy would know but I’m not committing my boo to anything or a time period given we are going to possibly play her and have an idea for that storyline]

Nancy: 🤔🤔🤔

Nancy: Lots of them are still available… we’ll work something out, that doesn’t involve an unwelcomed lesbian advance

Teddy: Tell me about your father, if my mother began seeing him that would fuck over yours in a personal as well as business sense 

Nancy: He’s… money motivated, definitely but I don’t even know what he likes outside of things that everyone likes, and he’d always rather do them with my mum than anyone else

Nancy: has anyone close to your mum died? 

Teddy: [one of her parents that it is irrelevant basically so I don’t need to commit rn] but everyone’s her age has

Nancy: His twin killed herself, when they were 13, then his baby brother died a few years back now, got stabbed

Teddy: How dark

Teddy: we could kill my father?

Nancy: How? 😏

Teddy: 🤔 something new to fantasise about

Nancy: It was fun to toy with smothering her

Nancy: I imagine your dad would require more planning beforehand

Teddy: Slightly, I’ve been too open about hating him, it’s a clear motive

Nancy: Rehab, psych ward, prison

Nancy: how many visiting lists do you want to put me on?

Teddy: ALL of them darling, you’ll simply have to marry me for that reason alone

Nancy: That’s actually SO romantic, babe 😄

Nancy: I’ll make sure we clean up after ourselves so well you never get caught

Teddy: Oh no, I can’t deal with the fact we’re not going to be able to pay someone to clean up for us, the plan’s FIRST flaw 

Nancy: You’ll like getting clean with me this one time, I PROMISE

Nancy: it involves getting super messy first, that’s the main thing to focus on

Teddy: Okay, it does sound promising

Nancy: You know you wanna be covered in his blood, don’t play

Teddy: You’ll make me blush

Nancy: Good

Teddy: You want me to?

Nancy: Yes

Teddy: Regardless of where I am or who I’m with?

Nancy: You don’t have to explain about the whole dead dad element, so, of course

Teddy: I like our secrets too much to share them around

Nancy: it’s like having a real friend, or what siblings are meant to be like, I’m not sure

Nancy: but I like it too, maybe the most

Teddy: You deserve a better label than that & you know I don’t care for them most of the time

Nancy: I know the title you want to give me but until then

Teddy: Friend or brotherzoning me would be harsh if I wasn’t aware of how hot you are for yours

Nancy: You’re such a prick 😅😣

Teddy: There’s no shame, baby, it’s totally fine

Nancy: There’d be SO much shame, he’s a complete narcissist that thinks EVERYONE wants to bone him, it’s ridiculous

Teddy: I’ll keep it to myself 

Nancy: It isn’t some sickness my entire family has

Teddy: I’m only playing with you, I promise

Nancy: It tops the porn cats for a reason, just another fantasy

Nancy: you wouldn’t be the first to make the jokes, don’t worry

Teddy: Would it cheer you up if we plot to break up his relationship too?

Nancy: Definitely

Teddy: What weaknesses does she have to exploit?

Nancy: Her family, she’s overly invested in them all

Teddy: But they’re already not happy, naturally 

Nancy: but when she feels like she can step in and help, she does, and he hates it

Teddy: How convenient that Grace is her family

Nancy: mhmm

Nancy: She’s going to want to kill me

Teddy: There’s potential in how desperate she’ll be to stop the wedding

Nancy: There’s not a chance in hell she’ll be cool with this, if there was a way she could stop her, she would

Teddy: It isn’t adequate by itself but it’ll get to him

Nancy: He’ll hate how much she hates it, having to engage with it

Teddy: & the Jay drama will add to it, when we decide to fuck up J’s sobriety nonsense

Nancy: How unfortunate he’s got to behave now he’s a law school dickhead, he’ll wanna beat you and James up so badly 💔

Teddy: It would be the BIGGEST pity if he was provoked into snapping

Nancy: it’s a very provoking situation

Teddy: You can lose everything so quickly when you lose control

Nancy: and he has such a lot to lose

Teddy: & his loss is entirely your gain, especially if Ava is foolish enough to try & stand by J

Teddy: you can be their favourite

Nancy: I don’t think Grace appreciates yet how badly everyone in the family is going to hate her, for getting more involved with yours, making everything more of a mess

Nancy: and yeah, Ava will be in the same boat if she stays on his side

Teddy: It’ll be fun when she starts to appreciate it

Nancy: Doubles down on picking you… not at all a poor decision

Teddy: We’ll be all she has, you & I

Nancy: She used to listen to everything Rio said, wanna be just like her

Nancy: it hasn’t been like that in a long time

Teddy: She chose you

Nancy: and she’ll choose you

Teddy: Are you happy again?

Nancy: Always with you

Nancy: you give me so many ideas

Teddy: Once I’ve been invited to a few family functions with her I’ll have more, it’ll take a lot of the guesswork about them out of it knowing who I’m dealing with

Nancy: I’ll tell you more

Nancy: I’ve just spent the last… however long it is now, trying to ignore the fact I’m related to them all

Teddy: Of course you have

Nancy: Family events are only tolerable when I can ‘ruin’ them by being inappropriately trashed

Teddy: She can follow in your footsteps & make it tolerable for me

Nancy: It’ll be weird

Teddy: But we’ll handle it better than today went

Nancy: Or you’ll run in horror

Teddy: You have self awareness your family is a freak show, it’s not as if I’m going to have to try & break it to you gently when I discover the insanity myself

Nancy: Everyone’s is, it’s hardly as rare as people would love to pretend for their own shame’s sake

Teddy: Mine’s as horrific, when we run off it has to be hand in hand together

Nancy: Once they’re all fucked over completely, no way back from it for them

Teddy: The ultimate fantasy

Nancy: I need it to be real, Teddy

Teddy: I’ll make all your dreams come true, you know that

Nancy: Even the ones I don’t know about yet

Teddy: Even the ones you change your mind about & get upset at me for

Nancy: I need someone who knows me better than myself

Teddy: I want to

Nancy: Please, do it

Teddy: You’ve asked like that, I’ve been given no choice

Nancy: I told you I was going to trap you, you were warned if not given enough time to get out

Teddy: Trap me, do it

Teddy: please

Nancy: I swear 

Nancy: once I focus all my energy on you, you’ll love me more than she does, need me more

Teddy: I need that to be real, I so badly want all of your attention

Nancy: I can tell

Nancy: and I think I’d like giving it to you, you being special 

Teddy: Am I special?

Nancy: I don’t think I could say no at this point

Teddy: In that case, I’m happy again too

Nancy: You should be, I’ve never told anyone they’re special, not even as a blatant lie

Teddy: I can tell

Nancy: That I’m a cold bitch?

Nancy: Not sure it would be news to anyone 😏

Teddy: That even when you lie you’re careful with them 

Nancy: There’s nothing more awkward than a compulsive liar… the delusion is too much for me, I have SOME shame, like 😳

Teddy: I agree, it does quickly become embarrassing 

Nancy: It was very Chlo, when we were at school, it was entertaining at times but entirely irritating the rest

Nancy: That’s why I was like her ONLY friend, by the end

Teddy: The absence of her was vital for my heart to grow fonder, she’s an acquired taste certainly

Nancy: Oh, yeah, I’d forgotten you’re in love with her 🙄

Teddy: Ha ha

Teddy: there would be nothing more awkward than that cliche

Nancy: Yet more younger brother shame 💔 tragic

Teddy: She’s amusing, that’s all

Nancy: Of course

Teddy: Say it like you believe me

Nancy: 😉

Nancy: like you said, it’s a tired cliche, you can think of better

Teddy: Yeah & she’s looking tired 

Nancy: She hasn’t stopped partying since abandoning her children

Nancy: Do I have to promise not to sleep with your brother as well?

Teddy: I assumed it was a given you wouldn’t be interested considering he hasn’t partied since [whenever it was in terms of how long ago now]

Nancy: I’m not interested but it’s always been part of my plan to fuck over Ava since they got together

Teddy: & we intend to, therefore I’m not overly concerned you’ll also sleep with him

Nancy: Well okay, if you’re sure

Teddy: You’re making me feel unsure

Nancy: I’m just joking, you can sleep with Ava though, if you want

Teddy: She doesn’t want to or I already would have

Nancy: She’ll get bored, she was all in on that girl before this, nothing lasts with her

Teddy: She’s too serious for me, I’d get bored

Nancy: It’s just the easiest way to break people up, that’s all

Teddy: If she’s being stubborn & ruining our plan, I’ll reconsider

Nancy: 😌 Thanks

Teddy: I’ve done worse things as a last resort

Teddy: [tell her about some of your schemes that have gone wrong cos some of them must have especially when you were younger]

Nancy: You’d obviously be so lucky and THRILLED to get the chance, but that’s the point, she acts so perfect and above it all

Nancy: Good thing we’re in this together regardless because that doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence… 😅🫢

Teddy: Well, the fact I’m telling you my failures SHOULD fill you to the brim with confidence, I’m trusting you

Nancy: I know you like to kiss and tell

Nancy: but at least you’re not lying, that would be pointless

Teddy: So share with me something you aren’t proud of

Nancy: How long have you got?

Teddy: Technically, a full week until Grace returns

Nancy: That isn’t how I plan to spend it

Nancy: I’d say it’d be easier to tell you what I’m proud of but not really

Teddy: 🥺💔 I’m about to be so extremely proud of you none of that will matter at all

Nancy: That got depressing, sorry, think it was the [whatever substances you’ve mixed at this point] 

Nancy: gonna recalibrate 

Teddy: [again suggest something she should do] is going to save you

Nancy: Good idea

Nancy: that and thinking about you being proud of me should work 

Teddy: Because of the future I’ve promised you the past will simply cease to exist

Nancy: I’m not going to care how little impact I have in any of their lives if I’m the focus of yours, am I

Nancy: They all have it, I want it too

Teddy: You can have it all, darling, a big impact upon their lives & mine

Nancy: okay

Nancy: I’m doubting them, not you, I trust you now

Teddy: We won’t stop until you’re satisfied with what you’ve done to them, it’s as simple as that

Nancy: Yeah? 

Teddy: I have more stamina than my father across the board

Nancy: God, I love you

Nancy: Be here now

Teddy: Grace is going to wake up [however long from now the random 5am you always seem to wake up at after a night out] you heard me, I need MUCH longer than that

Nancy: 😿😿😿

Nancy: but

Teddy: We can’t

Teddy: but I’ll call you

Nancy: You can tell me how much I should remind her of when she wakes up

Teddy: [do call her and just be as feral as you can for as long as possible, we know the drill]

Nancy: [living your best lives as much as you can when you once again cockblocked]

Teddy: [do you wanna post this? It seems like a good stopping point?]

Nancy: [I shall moodam]

[mcyt-peach]

Mcyt with a clingy s/o who loves kisses and hugs but like is super shy?? If that makes sense lol

mcyt with a clingy but shy s/o

⋆｡˚ including: cc!dream, cc!george, cc!sapnap, cc!karl, cc!quackity, cc!wilbur, cc!niki, cc!awesamdude, cc!punz and cc!foolish

⋆｡˚ warnings: reader uses they/them pronouns

⋆｡˚ note: ahhh this was such a cute idea I'm so glad you requested this I was totally blushing writing this, hope you enjoy it!!

Dream

you have hit the jackpot with this one

streaming without a face cam means you can plop down in his lap whenever you like

still, it doesn’t stop you from getting a bit shy, especially with Dream’s teasing nature

it doesn’t help that he’ll mention you’re with him 24/7

whether he’s just on call with some friends or streaming in front of thousands of people, he sneaks in comments here and there that make your face heat up

but it’s not like he’d let you leave, of course not

“Chat you should see them right now, all snuggled up against me. No no, where do you think you’re going, baby. You’re staying right here on my lap.”

George

he may not be the most touchy boyfriend, but there is nothing he loves more than a good cuddle sesh

he can never resist when you lay down on the couch and make grabby hands at him

but if he ever mentions it, you’re as embarrassed as could be

if we’re being honest, he enjoys making you flush just as much as he likes taking naps with you

you’ll 100% accidentally find out that his lock screen is a picture of you curled up against him in bed and he’ll never let you live it down

“Look at you, sound asleep on my shoulder, all snuggled up... I think you’re drooling a little.”

Sapnap

he definitely feels the same as you

he’s not always confident enough to make contact first, but he absolutely revels in the moments you’re together

after the first couple of dates, he finally musters up the courage to kiss you when he drops you off for the night

and to be quite frank, he wasn’t the only one blushing afterwards

he tries to act cool afterwards, but he’s grinning like an idiot

you’re not much better, doing the whole ‘run inside and slide down the door’ thing like you’re a movie star

he definitely texts you that night

“I think we should do that more often, honey. Even if you get all shy”

Karl

Karl is well known for his love of physical touch and you couldn’t be happier with it

but the trouble comes when he gets too bold with his love

one minute he’s having a chill stream, just talking to chat

and suddenly it’s chaos, because you’ve walked into the room and Karl finally has someone to shower in affection

he’s got his hands wrapped around you, holding you close, before he pulls back and plants a kiss right on your lips

“Karl you can’t just kiss me on stream!!!” “But you liked it :)” cue flustered silence from you

Quackity

not necessarily the type to be super outward with his feelings but adores your presence

so as long as you’re in the room with him, he’s happy

still, you just feel the need to be as close to him as possible

you’re watching a movie, nothing out of the ordinary for you two

what isn’t normal is you climbing on Q’s lap and wrapping your arms around his shoulders

when you do muster up the courage to lean back, he’s a blushing mess

which of course, makes you a mess as well

“W-what was that for. You can’t just jump on me out of nowhere. Ugh... I’m gonna melt.”

Wilbur

another one who loves when you get shy

in fact, he actively seeks it out because he thinks it’s adorable

never does it in front of chat though, he wants to be the only one who sees you all shy

first thing he does in the morning is draw you up against him and give you kisses all over your face

he’ll pull your face back with his hands and just wait to feel your cheeks heat up against his palms

he does that annoyingly cute laugh when you dive under the covers to escape him

“Ok, ok, no more hiding. Let me see that beautiful face of yours darling.”

Niki

Niki is very similar to you in the sense of clinginess, takes every opportunity to drape herself over you wherever you are

but the second the two of you realize just how sappy you’re being...

both of your faces are heating up, total tomato fest

she’ll get all blushy if you snuggle up next to her

you push through the embarrassment just to chase her around the room for kisses, to which she pleads for her cat’s help

“Noooo Zuko save meeeee! They’re going to smother me with kisses!”

Sam

this big teddy bear can’t deal with how bashful you get

of course, he still can’t deny you when you give him puppy dog eyes and ask for a kiss

this in turn gets him shy and suddenly you’re both giggling like high schoolers

loves cuddling with you at night because you’re too tired to deny him

buries his head in your shoulder because he can feel your whole body heat up

“You’re not gonna slip away in the middle of the night, are you honey? Nahhh, you like me too much to do that.”

Punz

omg this cocky mf would love to show you off, even if you get embarrassed

would full on make out with you on stream if you didn’t stop him

still, that doesn’t put an end to him flustering you in public

holding you hostage on his lap while on call with friends, sneaking kisses in public and always having a hand on you

he likes to call it “exposure therapy”, but it’s very obvious he just likes seeing you kiss drunk

“Babe, how are you ever gonna get over your shyness if we don’t do anything. Then again, you are pretty cute when you’re flustered.”

Foolish

he can not get over your blushy face

just breaks into a smile whenever he sees you get all flushed

doesn’t seem to understand why that makes you even more embarrassed, though

will 100% wrap you up in a blanket burrito so you can’t escape

sits you on his lap during a long stream, every once in a while, he gives you a kiss on top of your head

puts up a little sign on stream that says ‘cuddle time, don’t mention the burrito’ because he doesn’t want you to leave because of chat

“What? No chat, you can’t mention them! They’re gonna get all shy!”

[adventuresinobx]

The Chain

Drew Starkey x fem!reader

Summary: Drew and you decide to go out on a night out, and soon you’re straddling his lap and playing with the chain on his neck. Fair to say, he’s obsessed with that.

A/N: Ok this is my first Drew smut, I hope you like it! Inspired by @starkeyobx’s idea and because she’s OBSESSED with that gold rope chain he wears.

Warnings: Some sexual tension and some smut at the end 👀

“You ready yet babe?” Drew shouted from the sitting room. You had been dating him for six months or so but you’d never been able to visit him at work and thus had never got a chance to meet his friends.

It was a big deal for you and you desperately wanted to impress them all. Drew said the boys were like brothers for him and the girls were like sisters and whilst you’d spoke to Chase and Austin sometimes on FaceTime, you’d never actually met them in person.

“Coming, coming,” you shouted frantically from the bedroom where there were clothes strewn all around the room as you desperately decided what looked best to wear. It was so messy, but you’d clean it up later - you really didn’t have any time now.

“Ok baby,” he shouted back. He was wearing a vest with your favourite green jacket over it, which he teamed with a pair of black jeans. You felt you needed to match him, so decided on a green two piece which hugged your curves perfectly. It exposed a little bit of skin; Drew was a big fan of that and it made you feel confident, which was very important when you were going into a situation that made you feel terribly nervous.

You gave yourself another look in the mirror, checking you looked OK for the 100th time today, before making your way out to the living room. Drew was sat on his phone, a smile on his face. From where you were, you could see what he was looking at, pictures of you and him. It made you melt that he had a whole album dedicated to you both; that was super cute.

“Hey, ready,” you said from where you were standing. He immediately shoved his phone down on the sofa and turned around to where he heard the voice from. 

“Oh wow,” he said, looking you up and down and biting his lip. You smiled back at him, your hands smoothing over your clothes, which sent about 100 thoughts into his head. He was obsessed with you and the way you looked and he needed to get a closer look.

You started moving towards him before he had a chance to do the same to you. “What do you think then?” you asked, spinning around in front of him. He was stood in front of the sofa, his eyes fixed on yours except for those little glances he made to appreciate your body in that outfit. You looked - and felt - so confident.

“That’s -,” he paused for a moment, thinking what the best word to describe it would be. Beautiful, sexy, the nicest outfit you’d ever worn.

“It’s what?” you asked, a teasing tone to your voice as you came closer to him. You pressed your lips on his cheek, smiling into the kiss. “Tell me.”

“Beautiful,” he started, “And sexy. Really sexy.” His hands moved to your sides and he gripped there lightly. He moved his fingers over the sliver of bare skin on show and took a moment to explore the softness of your skin. His hand soon moved back to your waist and you felt him grip a little harder, his eyes scanning your body.

“You look good too,” you said, looking up through your eyelashes at him. God he was so cute - but that outfit was so sexy. You felt so turned on seeing him so dressed up. Most of the time he’d just chill in sweatpants or casual clothes so when he did dress up, he made extra effort and you had to confess - he looked good.

You moved your hands up his chest over the material, letting your fingers brush over him. You sorted out the collar on his jacket, his eyes flicking between yours and the moments your hands were making on him. He swallowed hard when your fingers brushed over his neck briefly, by “accident” of course.

“Have we got five minutes?” you asked, the tone in your voice making it very evident what you wanted. Speechless, he just nodded and you lightly pushed him, causing him to fall back on the sofa. You climbed onto him, straddling him gently and immediately taking the opportunity to grind down onto him. He breathed in deeply at the feeling, his hands moving to your sides as a way of steadying himself, and you.

You moved your hands up his chest and to his shoulders, pushing his jacket off him. You pressed your lips against his, tilting your head before you kissed down his neck and sucked on the sweet spot where there was still the remnants of an old mark you’d caused before.

“Feel good?” you asked him, hearing his breath hitch in his throat and little moans fall from his lips. He didn’t answer with words, only with a little groan. “You know what’s really sexy?” you said, thinking out loud, “This chain. When did you get it?”

He swallowed nervously, watching as your fingers made your way to his neck. You took the piece of jewellery in your hand and sighed as you felt the cool metal passing between your thumb and forefinger. He just watched on, mouth agape but his hands gripped tighter on your waist. “It’s really - hot,” you whispered, noting how he bit his lip as you played with the chain.

He usually always wore this fancy diamond looking one for his nights out, but you had a new favourite. The gold rope chain hung off his neck and perfectly matched the two rings he wore on his fingers. Something about this chain made you even more attracted to him. Not all men could pull of jewellery, but god he could.

You carefully glided your fingers over it and then lifted it a little so you could run your hands over his neck too. The sensation of the cool metal and the shivers coming from his body as you touched it like this made you push your hips down into his. A loud moan emitted from his mouth as he bucked his hips up to meet yours, his excitement clearly showing as you used one hand to reach down and palm him through his clothes.

“So good,” he said, his hands gripping hard on your hips as he rolled them up to meet yours again and again. It felt so good and you could feel the excitement building up for you too as you desperately tried to get some friction from him. It felt so good and the roughness of his grip was making you really wet.

“Take these off,” you moaned, tugging at the belt of his trousers, “And get these off me too.”

He wouldn’t need any more encouragement and soon there were clothes all over the floor and he had managed to flip you over so he was now on top of you, hovering over you as he reached down between your thighs.

He brushed his fingers over your clit a few times, spreading the wetness he’d caused all over your core so he could have an easier entrance. He rubbed your slit again, up and down a few times, before taking some of your wetness and rubbing it over his cock.

“Need you,” he moaned out, lining himself up and using his hand to control himself as he rubbed the tip over your clit a few times. You gasped at the feeling, desperate for it too and within moments he was pushing inside you.

He was slow at first, til he got in all the way. He paused for a moment, just savouring all of this and the way your walls tensed and pulsed around him. He’d do this forever if he could, and that was what he had planned to do.

“Please move,” you begged, reaching up to run your fingers over his chain and neck one more time. Without any moment of hesitation, he pulled out nearly all the way before pushing inside you. The rhythm started slow at first but soon he was thrusting into you at a fast but rhythmic speed. You couldn’t even control the moans that were coming from your mouth as you desperately pushed your hips up to take him in even further.

“Look so fucking good,” he groaned, “Taking my cock like that.” He wasn’t always like this but sometimes this more - dominating - side came out. He kept his thrusts up as he felt your walls clench around him. He knew it was only a matter of moments now.

You screamed out, grabbing onto whatever part of him you could as you rode out your high, him soon finishing too. His hot seed spurted inside you, coating your walls and making your clench your walls together, only adding to the sensation he was feeling.

“Good girl,” he said, slowing his thrusts down as you desperately clutched onto him. It all felt too good, it was too much and now suddenly the room returned to you and you realised just what had happened.

“I think we’re going to be late,” he laughed, climbing off you and looking at his watch to confirm the time was indeed past when you said you were going to meet the others. He grabbed some tissue from the side and cleaned himself off before taking a step towards the bathroom so he could get a wet cloth to help clean you up too. Before he could go too far, you called him back.

“Not a great first impression is it?” you joked, leaning up to kiss him on the lips, savouring the moment.

taglist (pls let me know if you want to be added 🥰)

@starkeyobx @lovelyhedgehog44 @gryffindorpouge11 @jjmaybankmakesmecry @maybankforlife2 @bayy2452 @proactivetypeofgirl @hoebx @fangirlfree @severa-kane @lovedetlost @slutforsmutsstuff @smokingbeersdrinkingweed @raiinyhood @samxslaughter @babeyglo @infatuatedjanes @ailee-celeste @malums-trash-can

[myriad-writings]

call me - e.m.

-eddie munson x reader

-2k words

-tattoo artist eddie. bff robin. that is all. thank you :)

-warnings: excessive sexual tension, also a really mid intro but that’s whatever. also once again, not an ounce of proofreading

“It’ll be so fun!” Robin urges you, sitting cross legged on your basement floor where the two of you were having a sleepover. “Please come with me, I think you’ll actually like it.”

You snort at her, “Super fast moving needles aren’t fun, Rob, they’re actually terrifying.” She groans and makes a dramatic show of falling backwards. She had been trying to convince you for the last hour to come get a tattoo with her. She’d been wanting to get one ever since she turned 18, and thought it would be a fun best friend activity for the two of you to get one together. You, on the other hand, were freaked out by the idea of tattoos. You didn’t have anything against people that had them or anything, and you actually thought they looked super cool on most people. But you didn’t want to find out how high your pain tolerance is the hard way. 

“You’re such a baby,” she pouts, and the expression looks so out of place on her that you have to laugh. “It doesn’t even have to be matching, you could get something super small!” 

“Oh my god, fine, I’ll go.” You surrender, and Robin immediately sits back up with a wide grin. “If it means you’ll stop pugging me about it. I’ll get like… a flower or something.” 

She blows a raspberry at your basic choice, and you throw a pillow at her face with a laugh. “I can help you come up with something more creative, don’t worry.” She assures you through giggles and you roll your eyes at her. 

“Whatever, asshole. Go to bed.” 

The next morning when Robin excitedly shakes you awake for breakfast, you remember your frustrated agreement to get a tattoo with her. And you knew that she wasn’t going to let you live it down.

-

“How are you so energetic this early in the morning?” You tease as she fixes her hair in the passenger mirror of your car. “I’m just excited that you came around. And don’t worry, I know this guy and he’s super cool. Well, not super cool but you won’t be nervous around him or anything. He’s chill and used to play D&D with the kids and he’s really nice.” Her rambling only stops when she takes a bobby pin out of her hair and holds it in her mouth for easy access, but then she’s back on her word vomit again, just slightly hindered by the pin  held between her teeth. “He actually might still play, I’ll have to ask Steve. He had this club and everything for it in high school, kind of a huge nerd and outcast. But he’s so nice, I swear.” She only stops when you pull into the parking lot of the tattoo parlor, and she’s grinning from ear to ear.

“What’s this guy’s name?” You ask, suddenly interested in an attempt to calm your nerves.“Eddie,” she answers easily while getting out of the car. “We met through a series of outlandish circumstances,” for once she doesn’t elaborate and just shuts the car door to punctuate her sentence. Here we go, you think to yourself.

The inside of the shop was actually a lot less intimidating than you pictured, and though it did very little to affect your nerves, you feel slightly more comfortable in the atmosphere than you imagined you would. There was some heavy metal record playing in the back of the room at a low volume, and each of the stalls was decorated to the individual artist’s taste. The exposed brick walls were lit with warm toned studio-esque light fixtures, and the hardwood floor was immaculately clean, which you took as a good sign considering the level of sterility needed for this sort of thing. 

While you were taking in your surroundings, Robin was at the front counter reconnecting with who you assumed must be Eddie, the friend she had told you about mere moments before. She saw that your attention had been diverted from the interior of the building and beckoned you closer. “This is Eddie,” she introduced with a knowing smirk. 

“Hey, Robin told me you were a little nervous.” The smile he gives you is so subtle, but it makes you lock your knees in fear of them going weak. You manage to offer him a small smile in return and collect your thoughts well enough to respond. 

“I’ve never done this before,” you explain, and the sound of his soft laugh makes your face heat up. You can tell he isn’t laughing at you, though, and his level of understanding is actually very soothing. His level of attractiveness is what’s causing you trouble now. Robin can tell what’s got you shifting in your place, and she clears her throat to call your attention away from Eddie with that same smirk from before. 

“Well you two have fun, I’ll see you on the other side,” she says in feign ominosity before going to one of the empty stalls that she was called to. 

You roll your eyes at her before turning your attention back to Eddie, who seemingly hasn’t taken his eyes off you. The thought makes you shy once again, and he says, “Let’s go, princess,” before leading you back to the furthest back area, right by the record player you spotted earlier. He notices you standing awkwardly by it. 

“Sorry, I can turn that down,” he offers and moves to adjust the volume dial without waiting for your response. 

“No, it’s okay, I just haven’t heard this song before,” you explain, and he flashes you one of those butterfly-inducing smiles again. 

“I get that a lot,” Eddie says simply before patting the leather bench in front of him. “Have a seat.” He turns his back to you and grabs a hair tie from the table in the corner, tying most of his curly hair in a low ponytail to get it out of the way. “So, what are we doing today?” 

You realize when he turns back around that you’ve been staring at him, and you blank for a second before stumbling over your words to answer him. “Um, I was going to get a, uh, rose. Like this big,” holding your fingers about three inches apart to demonstrate the size. You’re suddenly embarrassed at how generic it is, but Eddie just reaches for a binder and flips through it for a second before handing it to you at an open design. “Like that?” He questions, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. You examine the design before nodding. It was surprisingly delicate in comparison to the rest of his vibe, but the style fits the charming and sweet demeanor he’s shown you so far. It’s the exact size you showed him, with fine lines that you think wouldn’t take too long to sit for if it was too painful. “Yeah, this is perfect.” 

At your approval, Eddie nods and takes the binder back from you, sliding the design you both agreed on out of its page protector and tracing over it on a more transparent paper. You’re absolutely enamored with him and the way he moves, shrugging off his slightly worn demin jacket to have more freedom of mobility. The muscles in his forearms flex slightly as he sketches, bent over on his elbows to get a steady and precise outline. A few strands escape from his haphazardly done ponytail and fall around his face to frame it, prompting him to blow out the side of his mouth to get them out of the way. 

By the time he stands upright again, which is only about five minutes, you’re even more flustered than before. You make a resolve with yourself that you won’t stare anymore, instead focusing on the wall so you don’t come off as a creep. This resolve proves to be even harder than you thought, because the second you commit to it, he’s asking where you want the tattoo. You point to the front of your shoulder, a few inches above your bicep if your arm was fully relaxed by your side. Then he’s cleaning the area with a rubbing alcohol wipe and applying the template he had just sketched out, much like a temporary tattoo. 

The whole time, you’re holding your breath as his fingers graze your skin and leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. You glance back down at him, and see his tongue poking out from the side of his lips as he focuses, causing you to giggle. 

The sound catches his attention and his eyes snap back up at you before realizing what you’re laughing at, and chuckling out an apology. “Sorry, it’s an unconscious habit.”

You shake your head at him. “Don’t be sorry, it’s kinda cute.” Oh my god oh my god I just said he was cute, you think, but you’re comforted by the fact you can’t get any more flustered than you already are. However, seeing his eyes avoid yours as he clears his throat as his cheeks tint almost imperceptibly pink just proves you wrong.

He talks to you about what he’s doing when he preps the ink and everything else, but your brain is elsewhere as you watch his fingers move so deftly with the tools in front of him. Then, he looks back up at you to make sure you understand, and your eyes widen in panic for a second before scrambling to confirm that you heard him (which you didn’t). 

Eddie just gives you an amused chuckle before moving towards you to start the tattoo itself. “Just relax, let me know if it bothers you too much and I can stop. Okay?” You nod, actually hearing him this time and he sits down on the chair in front of the bench. 

As the needle buzzes, you squeeze the edge of the leather beneath you, but it isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. It’s like a sting, a continuous one, but it’s not something that’s unbearable. Eddie looks up at you through his lashes as he pauses to replenish the ink. “Doing okay up there?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just getting used to it.” You assure, though it comes out a bit breathless. He smiles at you anyways and tells you, “You’re doing great,” before continuing. Oh, he has to know what he’s doing at this point. 

The whole thing is over before you know it, and you’re actually kind of upset that you don’t get to sit this close to him anymore. Your skin feels like it’s on fire, but you’re not sure if it’s from his praise, his touch, or the needle itself. Could be a combination of all three, honestly. 

Eddie gives you the spiel on tattoo aftercare and hands you a sample size of the ointment he recommends for when it starts peeling and itching. “And it will itch,” he promises. “Don’t scratch at it, or else you might peel some of it off. Can you do that for me?” 

It takes everything in you to respond normally, nodding at him for what seems like the thousandth time in the past hour. “Yeah, sounds good.” He smiles and tells you that you’re all set, sending you on your way to the front of the building, where Robin is waiting for you. 

She’s grinning from ear to ear as she holds her wrist out to you to show you what she got. “Show me yours!” She asks excitedly with a little bounce in her step and you move your sleeve to the side to show off the rose. “How was it?” 

“Not bad at all, really,” you admit while walking out to the car. “You were right, he is super sweet.” 

She grins at you, “See, I told you.” You roll your eyes at her gloating as she continues speaking.  

You take the ointment out of your pocket to put in your bag, but then you catch sight of something written on the back. Robin’s words die mid-sentence as she watches you read, but you weren’t even listening. Taped on the back of the bottle is a piece of paper with Eddie’s number, and a smiley face. 

Robin watches your expression flush and a smile forces its way on your features and nudges you playfully. “Well, it looks like this tattoo won’t be your last.”