#i was looking at my baby pictures which is a super good idea when you’re going through a crisis

[gregmarriage]

i’m back temporarily, bc it’s my birthday in an hour and a half, and i’m having a mini breakdown, hehe x

[ashasdiary]

Pumpkin

Pairing: Nanami Kento x fem!reader

Synopsis: Husband!nanami (later father!Nanami) being super domestic during your pregnancy, birth, and arrival of your baby. 

CW: a smidge 🤏🏻 of angst but mainly FLUFF, pet names, established relationship, pregnancy, birth, babies  WC: 1.9k A/N: this is a sequel to Vitamins but can be read as a standalone if the smut in Vitamins is not your jam. Enjoy this fluffy goodness 🥹

Ever since those two tests had very loudly informed you of your pregnancy, Nanami had not let you lift a single finger to do anything. Not that he had even before your pregnancy — your husband’s love language was acts of service — but now? He was very hyperactive in taking care of you. 

“Honey, did you note down the appointment time in the calendar?”

“Honey, did you take your folic acid?”

“Honey, you’ve been on your feet too much today. You need to rest.”

“Honey, do you want me to give you a massage?”

“Kento,” you sigh, “I’m fine, really. It’s still early stages.”

“And you have to be careful during the early stages,” he notes. 

“I know. But you’re also treating me like I’m china and…it’s just…a bit too much,” you say. You didn’t want to tell him this, because you knew he meant well, but you also had to communicate your feelings to him. You were worried he’d be upset when you did, but he looks at you apologetically, seemingly taking it in his stride. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I don’t mean to make you feel…suffocated. I was worried I was being too overbearing, but I wanted to make sure you knew that I want to do as much as I can for you. And the baby,” he explains in one breath. Your eyes soften and you step into his embrace, hugging him tightly, burying your face into his neck. 

“I do. I’ve always known that. I appreciate everything you’re doing for me, but I would also like to do things myself sometimes.”

“I understand. I’ll be more mindful, my love,” he rubs his hand up and down your back. 

“Thank you, Ken. I love you,” you kiss his cheek and he turns his face to capture your lips with his in a chaste kiss. 

Every week, you’d made it tradition to take a side profile picture of the bump along with the fruit that the baby was the size of. This was Nanami’s idea, of course, and he made it creative and fun. Seeing him be so excited for the arrival of your child made your heart swell with joy. 

He’d very proudly started to create a scrapbook of all the happenings during your pregnancy which he was eager to show your child when they got older. 

Interestingly, Nanami did not want to do a gender reveal when the ultrasound technician offered to write it down at one of the scans. And you couldn’t fault his logic when he later explained, “It’s silly. It’s a social construct. We’ll find out when they’re born, and regardless, even then it won’t matter. We’ll still love them the same.”

Every craving, every need, he provided. Including the need to jump his bones in the second trimester. Damn, did he keep up with you. You knew it was because he found the cute little swell of your belly so incredibly sexy — he’d voiced it on numerous occasions — knowing he’d done that, nothing made him more unhinged. 

Ever the doting husband and expectant father, he’d started reading up more about babies and often tell you facts you’d have never known. “Did you know that your heart grows bigger during pregnancy?” He informs you while you’re laid back on the couch, on opposite ends, 5 months in. 

“I…did not know that,” you blink, surprised. 

“Yep. It’s to help the heart pump more blood to the baby. Babies can also cry in the womb.”

“Oh no,” you pout, “I don’t want baby to cry.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that, hon, they’ve been quite gentle so far. You can sing to them, they’ll hear it by now. And talking to them in another language is also beneficial,” he notes and you let out a soft laugh at how he’s rattling off these fun facts. 

“Your brain truly amazes me sometimes, Ken, it’s like a sponge,” you prop your arm up and rest your chin on your hand. 

“So’s the baby’s right now. We should get a Duolingo subscription and get them started on another language already,” he jokes and you let out a hearty laugh, which earns you a little kick in protest from your baby. 

“Well, your child just said no to that,” you giggle. 

His mouth falls open and he scoots over and lies between your legs, coming face to face with your bump. “Listen here, you little squirt, you will learn another language whether you like it or not.”

“Oh, daddy’s setting rules,” you whisper. 

“And in addition to that language, which you will be fluent in, you’ll also learn jujutsu,” Kento tells your bump definitively. You laugh at how he’s instructing the baby firmly one minute and then lovingly pressing kisses to your skin the next. 

He relaxes against you, and you decide to tell him a fact you’d found out recently. “Did you know that eggs can pick and choose whether the sperm gets to fertilise it? For a while, I thought it was just a race of the best sperm to get to the egg. But the egg can reject it if it wants to. Isn’t that fascinating?”

He raises an eyebrow in slight surprise and amusement at this newfound knowledge. He wasn’t aware of that little detail either, but he finds it very intriguing. “That’s pretty impressive. I had no idea that they had such power over which sperm gets to fertilise them. Who knew eggs were such shrewd gatekeepers?”

“Right? But my egg was a terrible gatekeeper. Probably a combination of that and your sperm just being overachievers.”

He laughs heartily at your comment, the image of his overly ambitious sperm and your easy-going egg combining to form your miracle is quite the amusing picture. 

“Well, I do have some pretty strong swimmers, I can’t deny that. And your egg must have had a weak moment, letting my little overachievers through. But I'm glad it did,” he smiles warmly at you, his hand gently rubbing your leg. 

There were moments where you couldn’t wait to meet the little one, but you also found yourself getting emotional a few times that it wouldn’t just be you and him anymore. When he notices your glassy eyes one day while you’re eating breakfast, he frowns and takes your hand in his. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

The dam suddenly bursts — darned pregnancy hormones — and you start to bawl, managing to say between breaths, “It’s— not— going to— be just— you and me any— anymore…”

He has to stop himself from laughing at your sudden realisation and he circles around the dining table, embracing you. 

“And I know how stupid I sound right now, because I wanted this, and still do, but I’m— I’m just…scared,” you cry, inhaling shaky breaths. “What if I’m not a good mother? What if parenthood is the complete opposite of what I envision it to be?” You ramble.  

He rubs your back gently and comforts you, kissing the crown of your head as you rest it on his chest. “I know, honey. You don’t sound stupid. It’s natural to feel nervous. Parenthood is a new venture for both of us but it won’t be vastly different to what we think it’ll be. And you’ll be a fantastic mother. I’ll be by your side every step of the way, you’ll never be alone. We’re doing this together. We’ll make mistakes together. Clean up messes together. Strive together. It’ll be alright.”

His words of reassurance bring you a sense of calm and you feel the warmth of comfort spread through you slowly, easing your anxieties. 

He reassured you every time you felt any sense of worry or sadness, provided the love that you needed and more, and was a real anchor to harbouring your emotions. 

Week 40 arrived before you knew it. With a bright and large orange pumpkin in hand, you took what you hoped would be the last picture for the scrapbook. You both subsequently started referring to the baby as “pumpkin” that week. Every day that week, he had tried to coax them out with sweet words. 

“Are you gonna come out today, pumpkin? Today’s a good day to join us, I think. The weather’s nice out. You should come see it,” he whispered to your bump in the morning before you were awake. 

When your baby decided that they were ready to come out, Nanami was there, holding your hand the entire time, not once letting go. You were quite afraid of this final hurdle but with Nanami by your side, you knew you’d be okay. 

It was a long and tiring 14 hours, exhaustion was settled into your bones, but when you finally, finally give the final push and the baby is out, you cry. From the relief of birth being over, from the new chapter that had just opened, from having sight of the baby that you and Nanami had made. 

Nanami kisses your head, eyes glassy as he whispers praises of how well you did, that it’s over and that he’s so proud of you. 

The midwife places pumpkin onto your chest for some skin to skin, placing a blanket on top, the little thing curled up and looking disapproving of being pushed out of the coziness of your womb. 

Nanami chuckles softly as he peers over and the baby’s rosy lips tremble before they take their first breath and start to cry quietly. You sniffle as you wipe your own tears and look at your husband and he kisses your forehead. 

You hush the baby gently, speaking softly, “You’re here, pumpkin…here with us. I’ve got you.” 

After they cut the umbilical cord, the afterbirth comes out, and the midwives take the baby to bathe, clothe, take measurements, and bundle them up. 

“How do you feel?” Kento asks, holding your hand still as you stand up, ready to take a shower. 

“I feel a little empty inside, it also hurts. Not looking forward to peeing,” you sigh and he caresses your back gently. 

“You’ll get better with time, honey,” he guides you to the shower room.

There, he tends to all of your needs, helping you carefully wash up, dry off, put ice and a giant pad on, and then your clothes. You could almost cry from his attentiveness.

You hug him and squeeze gently, gazing up at him gratefully and lovingly. “What did I do to deserve you?” You whisper. 

He smiles sweetly, caressing your cheek and giving you a chaste peck. “You can’t say that after you just pushed our baby out,” he chuckles. You laugh softly and you hold each other for a moment longer, before you both go back into the room.

There, the midwives wheel the bassinet over to you, where pumpkin is awake and looking for something to come into focus. 

“She’s very healthy, Mr. and Mrs. Nanami.”

“She?” You repeat, feeling your heart flutter. A sweet little girl. 

Nanami smiles to himself, he’s elated. He has a daughter. “Sweetheart, come on, look at her lips, they’re totally yours.”

You give him a small smile, eyes filling with happy tears as you both fawn over your daughter. It was a little early to tell, but you hope she has his eyes. She had a bunch of blonde hair, too.

“Hold her, Ken,” you whisper and he obliges, gently picking her up and angling his arms perfectly to fit his little angel against him. 

He’s quiet for a minute, just soaking up the feeling of having his daughter in his arms, the warmth of her, her existence setting in. 

“Now, about those language lessons that you refused to do…” he speaks to her in a gentle tone, and your lips curl into a bigger smile at his jokes, “I don’t want to hear another word from you, little miss. Any objections?”

He’s quiet for a beat and the baby just pouts as she looks up at her father, which you laugh softly at. “Good choice. Maybe start to brush up on some Malay, sweet pea, your mama and I will be taking you to Malaysia one day soon,” he promises to her you feel your heart flutter in your chest at the thought.

The three of you, your little family, in your shared happy place. Something out of a dream, but soon would be reality.

You couldn’t wait.

Read the sequel, Pumpkin's First Birthday, here <3

Do not copy or translate my work. © ashasdiary, all rights reserved. Divider by cafekitsune

[uncouth-the-fifth]

i'd like to report a crime - Leon Kennedy/Reader

read it on Ao3.

Pairing: Agent!Leon/Detective!Wife!Reader Tags: anxious work stress + leon comfort!!, leon being a fucking goober Notes: when i'm at work I'm always picturing him swooping in to save me...... leon kennedy if you can hear me please protect me from 9-5 hell... and like I said before, I would LOVE requests or prompts for this fic, I have so many ideas but I can't commit to any of them lol.

Standing in the bullpen at work today, you had a thought. Maybe they called it “medieval torture” because that was a whole lot catchier than “a shitty day at the busiest police precinct in Washington DC.”

It certainly felt like medieval torture to you. Before you’d even stepped into your big girl pants this morning, you knew that today was going to suck. Plain and simple. Suck. Yet another presidential event was bringing the Secret Service’s jurisdiction into your already hectic station, meaning that big square dudes in suits were going to be breathing down your neck until quitting time. You had three huge active cases that needed your attention. One of those cases came pre-packaged with a deeply annoying lawyer, who, in your professional opinion, has his head shoved a foot up his ass. He will absolutely be showing up to bother you today.

And worst of all: in your haste to get to work (Leon had put some serious effort into making you late), you’d accidentally worn a pair of super uncomfortable shoes! So now every waking moment of your existence was bonafide torture.

Clamping your jaw, you glance up from the paperwork in front of you and check your watch. Three o’clock. Right, okay, you can work with that.

You slap your hands down on your desk as you push out of your seat, and it gets a satisfying yelp out of the man sitting cross-legged beside it. He bristles up like a porcupine and nasally complains, “Where are you going, Detective Kennedy? You said we could—”

“Coffee, Douglas,” you bite back to said lawyer.

The last thing you want right now is some of the lousy, watered-down coffee from the station’s breakroom, but taking mini-breaks at your desk is just not an option anymore. Douglas has been camped out there from the moment you clocked in, and since you both refuse to budge, he’s going to stay there. Breakroom it is. You wince the whole way there, cursing your shoes from hell.

Someone forgot to start another pot of joe, so you have the absolute pleasure of doing it yourself. A small blessing in disguise, really. You give the glass pot your best thousand-yard-stare the whole time it heats the water, and just when the outline of it is starting to burn behind your eyelids, you’re jolted out of your glazed reverie by a cheerful, “Detective Kennedy!”

The officer appears at your side like she was there the entire time, and you wouldn’t put it past her—Giana is the latest in a long line of rookies who have imprinted on you over the years. Good kid, but a little on the overeager side.

She gives you a sympathetic frown and launches into way too much bubbly talking for your aching head to handle. “Heyo! Man, it’s crazy today, huh? You look beat, detective. Hey, think of it this way—just a few more hours and we’ll be home free! Any fun plans tonight?”

The question triggers a movie-style flashback sequence in your mind, complete with black-and-white visuals and some tasteful dream fog. Leon, your husband, boredly poking around the aisles of a new Target by your place. Leon discovering the boys' toy section. Leon, your beautiful, amazing husband, going starry-eyed at the massive NERF Elite Titan CS-50 Toy Blaster, which you’re pretty sure you need a license to operate.

He’d tapped the Nerf box like a boy on Christmas morning. “150 foam bullets, baby.”

But it would take a lot of energy to relay all of that to Giana. So instead of explaining that you’re having an epic Nerf duel with Leon when you get home (no headshots, loser makes dinner), you cooly answer: “...Spending time with my husband.”

Giana hums. “It’s so weird to me that you’re married…” (Thanks.) “I can’t even picture you not grinding away at some case.”

The coffee machine burbles out its last sad spit of coffee. You pour a good amount into your mug, smiling, “Oh, Leon’s just as bad. We’re both married to our work. He’s just my favorite mistress, s’all.”

Giana opens her mouth to launch into another cheery tirade you can’t catch up with. You like the girl, but on top of being way too eager, she’s also painfully see-through. For example, you don’t even have to turn around to know that a gloriously hot guy has just walked into the bullpen behind you. It’s written all over Giana’s owlish look over your shoulder. Hell, you can even clock that he’s heading straight this way—not only does Giana cross herself to bid away impure thoughts of the stranger, but she evaporates into smoke out of pure shyness.

“Look out!” She stage-whispers.

Aw. Poor girl, you think as she waddles away. Considering who’s going to be unloading a clip of foam bullets into you later this evening, (what a strange double entendre), you’re basically immune to hot guys. You can handle this.

“Excuse me, detective, I’d like to report a crime?”

All sense of professionalism poofs off your face at that familiar voice. You whirl to face your husband, and in one swift slash, the ten ton weight of your stress is slapped clean off your back.

Leon’s resting stare has slowly been absorbed by his Serious Agent Face. But today, he’s smoldering less in the business way and more in the off-duty model way. In a white tee, jeans, and racing-striped leather jacket, he certainly looks the part, clean-shaven and dewy-skinned. Fuck him and his unblemished skin. What Umbrella moisturizer was he using back in the day, dammit?

You’re capable of joking again and fall flawlessly into the bit. “Of course. What kind of crime, beautiful?”

He isn’t really able to look flustered, but you think you get close to the impossible with the way his head tilts at that line. You notice that he’s hiding something behind his back.

“A theft,” he answers. The tiniest smirk twitches on his mouth. “My heart’s been stolen.”

…What a fucking cornball. The tragic part is that you find the joke pretty funny, and not completely in the ironic way. He waits for you to giggle and twirl your hair or what-the-fuck-ever, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction, ducking into his quick hug to grin into his shoulder.

You groan at his awful joke. “Jesus. You need a fork for all that corn, Leon?”

“I take mine off the cob,” he drawls in your ear. With that voice, he could make anything sound suggestive.

You’re about to pout at him for failing to return your hug, when you draw back and see that his hands are full. It’s then that Leon presents his bounty to you, bowing his head and holding his trophies aloft like a knight giving respect to his princess: in one hand, one of the stupid expensive coffees you like, and in the other… your comfiest work flats.

“How?” is the first thing your fish brain manages to say. Because, truly, how does he always know? The coffee, the shoes— “Did you put a tracker in me? One that tells you everything I’ve been complaining about all day?”

You go slumping down into the nearest seat, mystified by him. Leon sets the still-steaming coffee down in front of you and kneels, stooping to help you out of your shoes-from-hell. The strap around your ankle has rubbed the bone raw even through your tights. He gets the clasp loose on the first shoe with little fussing, then soothes the skin with tender brushes of his thumb.

“Mhm,” he hums. All you can see of him from this angle is the layers of color in his hair, deep browns and ash blondes blending into one another. The smug pride in his voice is obvious—he loves knowing he’s read you well. “Tells me when you’re hungry, too. Have lunch with me?”

Please god, your body begs. Just picturing it loosens some of the tension in your neck. Like last time, the two of you would play-fight over where to eat, and your cute little delivery boy would go pick up the winner. That way, you wouldn’t have to waste a single moment of your allotted thirty-minute lunch. Leon would pull up a seat at your desk (maybe scare Douglas off with a flash of his badge), and you’d get a blissful, uninterrupted dose of him. Enough to get you through the rest of your shift.

He’d be too deep in Professional Agent Mode to babble like he does at home, but Leon’s raspy chuckles and his hand on your knee would tide you over til’ five.

…But no, the universe is never that kind to you. You wince at Leon’s offer and drop an apologetic hand to his shoulder, still knelt at your feet and working on your other shoe. He’s too good to you. “M’ sorry, baby, but I think I’m gonna have to work through lunch if I wanna get home on time. Rain check?”

He doesn’t mind. He throws a squinty warning stare your way, not happy that you’re getting dangerously close to overworking yourself, but he understands.

A sly smile creeps onto Leon’s face as he helps you slip on a flat. “I could talk to your Captain. What if you were pulled away for a ‘federal emergency?’”

“Then I think me and my Captain would implode from stress,” you laugh. “He’d think I’d been drawn into some national crisis or something.”

Leon scoffs. “That’s only happened, like, once.”

The other flat welcomes your poor, aching foot like a jacuzzi hot tub, and you take a deep magical sip of the overpriced coffee he got special for you. It trumps the watery breakroom joe any day.

For a minute you’re so stupidly happy that you could easily punch a boulder clean off a cliff. Hell, you might even twirl your hair.

“One too many times!” You groan. Since he’s being all cute and kneeling at your feet, you can’t resist poking him a couple of times to be silly. In the chest. In the cheek. In the heart. Stage-whispering, you accuse, “I think you just like having excuses to work with me.”

Leon finishes helping you into your shoes, but he’s in no hurry to leave his spot. One of his rough hands finds yours in your lap and toys with your wedding band, twisting it, testing the groove where it’s been sitting for a few years now. Those big blue eyes fix on your face. You’re married to the guy, but something about being the subject of all his naked attention makes you feel like shrieking into a damn pillow. He’s the best. Judging by that mean little smile on his face, he knows it’s true.

He gives your hand a little squeeze and points out, “I was your partner before anyone else. We never got our buddy cop beat—so yes, I will shove myself into your world since I can’t pull you into mine.”

You’re grateful he still thinks that way. Getting him to talk about Raccoon is harder than pulling teeth, but this—your partnership, whether that be as cops in an imaginary second life, or as husband and wife—never fails to pry him right open.

You’d been asked before if it was frustrating, how your paths had split after the city had blown. The two of you had come from the same spot and endured the same things, but where Leon had soared up, you’d kept to what you knew. No part of you envied him for it. In his mind, the two of you were still the same unit you’d been then, endlessly loyal to one another. You watched Leon’s back and—clearly, he watched yours.

“You’re my favorite,” you tell him, sweetly petting his chin. “I’m gonna fucking destroy you at our Nerf duel when I get home.”

All the buttery tenderness wipes from his face, and in an instant he’s on his feet, clapping a scarred hand down onto your shoulder and bending to whisper fiercely in your ear. “I’d like to see you try.”

He smushes a kiss to your cheek, waves a friendly, “See ya,” and melts back into the current of the rowdy bullpen. You hate to see him leave, but by god, you love to watch him go.

A few seconds after Leon says his goodbye, Giana, your rookie, peers around the open door of the break room. Her patchy blush goes all the way down to her uniform collar. “...Nevermind. I can definitely picture you married, Detective Kennedy…”

-

Ask to be added to my Leon taglist!

[gilverrwrites]

Conjugal Visit

Captain Boomerang/F!Reader, 2.2K words

AN: I can't remember what inspired this, but it's just a cute, fluffy, smutty thing I've been working on between request and uni work.

Plot: Digger is rewarded for saving the entire world with a 1 hour conjugal visit. It's not much, but it will do. Rating: 18+

CWs: None really, its just fluffy smut! Very mild angst, swearing, unprotected sex, p in v sex, cunnilingus, woman on top.

Please remember: You are a super star!

He’s been sending you origami unicorns and gibberish-filled letters about his good behaviour for months, but the promised conjugal visit never came, at least not until after he’d saved Metropolis, and, well, the whole world, maybe even the universe from an alien invasion. 

When his figure popped up on the news, you’d know it was him straight away, even despite his zipping around like a bonafide speedster. 

Later, when Lois Lane showed clearer footage, had confirmed it was him your heart had thrum with pride. You’d told anyone who would listen “That’s my man! That’s my Digger, out saving the world!” You’d even texted articles to your family, to prove he wasn’t the layabout felon they’d always complained about. They didn’t need to know that he was part of some kind of suicide mission, only out there because the government considered his criminal(-ly cute) ass expendable. No, as far as you were concerned, he was a hero, who would save the world, and come home to your loving arms when he was done. At least that’s what you told yourself to help you sleep at night. 

The positivity paid off though. When Digger and his teammates had saved the freakin’ world, his leader, Waller had graciously offered him a few years of his impossibly long sentence and a whopping 3 hours with you. It was considerably less than standard but you weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Digger, however, was. His complaining had reduced his reward time to just one hour, and you were determined to make the most of it. 

As you approach the door, you eyed the various trays shelved next to it. Each one filled with different sizes and brands of condoms, all of which were too small for Digger, and you weren’t allowed to bring your own. Every finger and toe was crossed that the morning-after pill you’d pre-purchased would be enough. 

A straight-faced guard opens the door for you, you thank him as you step inside, disappointed to be the first one here. An ancient off-white plastic analogue clock on the wall loudly counts down each missed second as you wait for him, brushing your hair out with your fingers, sucking your teeth to make sure there are no remnants of breakfast stuck between them. When the door finally opens once more you have your skirt hiked up to your waist as you fiddle with your underwear. It wasn’t the comfiest, but it was Digger's favourite. 

Your efforts don’t go unnoticed, your jailbird boyfriend’s eyes are bulging as he takes in your form for the first time in too long. Your heart races as you do the same to him, suddenly feeling both coy and unstable as you examine the way his uniform hangs from his lean body. God you can’t wait to get those off him. 

From the excited look on his face, he was having similar thoughts about your outfit. You release the hem of your skirt, but before the fabric can even flutter back against your skin, Digger has you in his arms, using all his muscle to lift you up high by your thighs, head nuzzled against your stomach as he spins you around. 

“I’ve missed ya so much, you’ve got no idea. I can’t believe you’re really here. The real you, not just your pictures stuck above me bed.” He blurts all the things he’s wanted to say but couldn’t convey until now. “I stare at you every night, been dreamin’ bout this moment.” 

“I missed you too baby. Now kiss me, kiss me, kiss me!” You jiggle your weight until he begins to lower you. 

“Don’t have to tell me.” He chuckles, situating you at hip height, putting your faces in closer proximity, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, as you lock lips with him. He tastes like mouthwash, which was not unwelcome, but strange. Certainly different to the stale beer you were accustomed to. Regardless, Digger didn’t miss a beat, slipping his tongue into your mouth and kissing you with so much enthusiasm it made you miss him again already. 

The way he smiles into your kiss nearly makes you pull away to giggle. The way his calloused fingers tickle your skin as he snakes a hand up to cup your ass does make you throw your head back and laugh out loud. 

“That tickles! Stop!” 

“Nah, I’ve missed this sound too much.” He doesn’t stop, now deliberately tickling both your hips as you begin weakly hitting his shoulder. “You know what else I’ve missed the sound of?” 

You squeal as he releases you all at once, throwing your body onto the bed.

“That!”

You sit up on the bed, arms crossed as you wait for him to stop laughing at you. The bed itself is old, the springs of the mattress creak under every move, and the comforter is itchy as hell, but it will have to do. 

“I should be mad at you for that, but I’ll forgive you this once 'cause I missed you so much.” Leaning back, you spread your legs, revealing your underwear and offering him a come-hither look. 

He looks like a fox in a henhouse, pointy grin, big eyes, and it makes your pussy tingle with excitement. 

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Love, but I sure as shit am lucky.” His shirt and trousers are gone before he lands above you. Long fingers lock onto you, clumsily helping you undress until all that’s left is Diggers crew socks. He never takes them off for sex, ‘extra grip for when I’m givin’ it to ya real hard’, so you don’t bother trying to get them off him. 

“Digger, you’re a hero!” You argue between sloppy kisses. “Even if you weren’t, you still deserve good things.” 

“Yeah…” For a moment he looks at you, really looks at you, without the lust or the laughter. It might have felt scrutinising if you thought for a second that he knew what that word meant. “But you loved me before, an’ I really didn't deserve you then.” 

Before you can respond he’s slinking down your body, fingers pushing against your entrance and making you squirm. 

“You’re so wet already, you miss being all filled up by your old man aye? Bet you’ve been feeling so empty. I’m sorry I got me-self locked up. Sorry I left you so high and dry.” He slips one finger in, cupping your pussy, pressing down on your clit with his thumb. He hadn’t always known your body so well, but you’d spent so many nights wrapped up in each other that it was second nature now. 

“Don’t…” you try to speak between deep breaths. “Don’t be sorry, make it up to me.” 

No need to ask twice, in seconds he sucking on your clit and slipping a second finger inside. His crooked nose nestled against your pelvis area, mutton shops scratchy between your thigh as he begins to lap at your core. When he skims your sweet spot at just the right angle you whimper, tugging at his russet hair, which in turn causes him to let out a deep moan that reverberates against you. 

You whine and squirm against the wobbly bed as he continues, the fire in your belly building as duel licking and fucking pushes you closer to the edge. He hits that hot spot inside, and you instinctively wrap your legs around his head. With your orgasm in sight, Digger picks up his pace, slipping in a third finger as he concentrates his efforts on your clit. 

Reflexively, your back arches and your toes curl as your orgasm hits. Your hips roll, searching for more friction and Digger uses his free hand to press on your stomach, holding you in place until you come back down. 

“Ah, crikey. You taste just as sweet as I remember.” He comments as he comes back up, face gleaming with a mix of cum and saliva. “I missed that.” 

Before you can respond he places a wet kiss on your belly button. “An’ I missed this.”

Your sternum. “An’ this.”

“An’ definitely these.” He cups both of your breasts as he lowers himself and begins to rub his face between your cleavage. Green eyes peer up at you full of cheek when you grip his hair and tilt his head to look at you. “What?”

“We're on a time constraint, you wanna spend it all in there?” He purses his lips playfully, looking back and forth between you and your boobs as he pretends to consider the question. 

“I could die happy here.” To emphasise his point, he burrows between them once more before conceding. His cock bobs from side to side as he sits back, shimming his hips. “But we wouldn’t want Digger Jr to miss out on all the fun.” 

“Agreed! Let’s put him to use.” His hips feel pointed in your grip as you grab them, dragging him between your spread legs again. He runs the tip between your lips, teasing your clit and coating himself in your slick. When you feel his head at your entrance, your muscles tighten, trying to draw him in further.

This is the part you’d been craving and dreading. Even when you’d been sleeping together routinely, ‘Jr’ was too big to slide in with ease. The burn of your walls struggling to stretch around him makes your breathing uneven, the lubrication of your earlier climax doing little to ease the process. 

“Hey, hey, relax now, breathe.” Digger coos, leaning in close and cupping your cheek, reminding you that keeping calm is the best way to get through it. You nod, even though your body is in overdrive, you will yourself to relax, steadying your breathing and he gradually works his way into you. “That’s it, Darl’, let me into that tight little snatch.”

“Ew, Digger!” You groan and laugh at his atrocious word choice, but it works. It distracted you enough for him to bottom out. Smugly, he wiggles his bows and his cock at the same time, the motion making you pant and squirm, needing real friction. 

“On your back Harkness.” You order.

“Yes ma'am.” Hands gripping your hips he does the heavy lifting, flipping your bodies until he lays flat on his back, and you hover above him.

Comfortable, you waste no time bouncing on his lap, gripping his shoulders for support as you roll your hips up and down. “Fuck, Digger, that feels so good.”

“Oh yeah.” He agrees between gritted teeth, his hands reaching up to cup your tits, his hips jerking up to meet your thrusts. “This is so much better than jerking off to your photies every night. Nothin’ beats the real thing.” 

The more you rock together, the more he crumbles, face scrunching, hands abruptly grabbing at whatever skin he can reach, no longer just occupied with your breasts. 

“Shit Digger, your dick is the best.” You praise and you can tell from his pink cheeks and rapid movements that he’s on the brink. 

“Fuck. Touch yourself, touch yourself, touch yourself.” He begs, wanting you to cum but too lost to do it himself. You dip your finger between your legs, circling your clit with firm, circular motions, causing tension to quickly coil in your gut, but it's not enough. “Fuck, woman, hurry up and cum.”

“Impatient.” You scold, purposely pumping your body in fast, deep motions to aid Digger's climax.

“Can’t help it.” He whispers quickly, desperately. “You feel too good.” 

He’s a beautiful withering mess beneath you, gleaming under a layer of sweat. All sharp edges and soft freckled skin. Eager to put him out of his misery you press harder at your clit, rubbing as fast as you can muster until you can’t help throwing your head back, panting as you approach your peak, and Digger is right there with you, gripping you with bruising force as he finally lets himself release. Pleasure seeps through your body as you ride out your orgasms together, Digger grunting with every spurt of cum he releases inside of you. 

“Wow.” You pant, as you relax, collapsing onto his Digger's chest. “I missed that.” 

When he’s recovered enough, Digger wraps his arms around you in return, pulling you closer for a deeper hug. “We’ve still got it.”

“Still got it.” You concede. Sex with Digger is always good, but the come down, the cuddling and the pillow talk is comforting. As much as you want to, you can’t fall asleep in his arms, can’t have a thumb war over who has to go get snacks, can’t stay up all night talking about that guy you hate from work, or Digger’s latest heist plans. “I just wish we had more time to talk. I want to hear everything.” 

In sync, both your heads turn. Yours to the clock, Diggers to you. 

“Not much time, is it?” He probes, you know he can only read digital.

“No, just a little under 10 minutes.” Determined not to let your limited time together get you down, and feeling Digger’s cock already growing hard inside you once more, you offer; “Think we can squeeze in another quick?” 

“Don’t need to be quick, don’t care what they do to me.” Digger flips you over, his turn on top. “They’re gonna need one of them giant magnet thingys to pry me off of you, Love.” 

Request Info || Prompts || DC Masterlist || Ko-Fi

[foggyfanfic]

What Tattoos would the Madrigals have?

Sorta a weird post, because presumably these characters are relatively devout Catholics, they absolutely would not ever get tattoos (not to mention we have no idea how much they know about micro-biology so jury’s out on how clean tattoos would be in Encanto). But I saw @teawizard ‘s picture of Bruno doing male thot jobs and it got me thinking. So!

Edit: Oof, this has been in my drafts way too long.

Alma

Hers are low key the most obvious to me. Alma would definitely have a little memorial tattoo for Pedro, and possibly have the triplet’s names. I’m operating under the assumption that she wasn’t born into an important family, so when she becomes La Señora Madrigal she makes an active effort to play the part rather than it coming naturally to her. Which would mean she might get a single tattoo right after losing Pedro, someplace easy for her to cover, then never again.

Agustín

I was going to say Agustín looks like he was raised too fancy to get tattoos even in this hypothetical, but then I actually thought about it a little. He’s supposed to be super accident prone, right? So, I think he’d have a tramp stamp. Hear me out! First time he goes out drinking with friends he discovers he is way more sensitive to alcohol than he thought he’d be. He wakes up with a bunch of blank spots in his memory, a helluva headache, and a sore spot on his back. A week or two later he is getting undressed to take a shower and notices something weird on his back out of the corner of his eye. And there it is! The words “Señor Madrigal” in a heart made out of healing herbs. Inexplicably, there are dolphins either side of the heart. When he asks his friends, he went missing for a while and they eventually found him hours later with his tie and vest off, and his shirt untucked. Biggest problem? He is not yet dating Julieta.

Julieta

In contrast, Julieta had an idea for a tattoo for her entire childhood, but figured she’d never get it because she knew her Má would hate it. She starts dating Agustín (is very amused when she sees his tattoo), then starts arguing with Alma over her boyfriend. In a fit of pique, she decides to get the tattoo whether or not her Má likes it. Even though Alma is annoyed at the tattoo itself, when she sees it she can’t help but like it. It’s essentially Julieta’s own version of the Hippocratic Oath on her left shoulder blade. Pepa makes fun of her because “even when you rebel against mother, you’re so perfect about it”. Eventually, Juli gets a matching tattoo with her siblings. Eventually.

Pepa

Pepa always wanted a tattoo but couldn’t settle on anything until Dolores is born. After that she gets each of her baby’s birthdates tattooed on her ankle. She would also eventually get a matching sibling tattoo.

Félix

Song lyrics, his wedding anniversary, and a tattoo that references his side of the family in some way. Maybe all together to form a sleeve, but more likely to be on his back.

Bruno

Bruno would have a full sleeve of good luck tattoos, and then some. He would have a chicken on one foot and a pig on the other (sailor superstition), on his shoulder blade opposite his sleeve he would have a prayer he likes that he got right before going into the walls. In an ill thought out fit of boredom he would give himself a stick and poke in the walls, the word “leña” on his knuckles (one of the ways to say wood in Spanish, although it looks like people usually use it to say firewood, but “madera” wouldn’t fit on his knuckles). Then when he gets out of the walls and is reunited with his sisters they would get a matching tattoo, the movie hasn’t really shown us enough of their relationship for me to say exactly what, but something meaningful to them.

Isabela

Immediately post movie she would get a sleeve of carnivorous and poisonous plants in order to express her newfound individuality. Later when she’s gotten over the initial high of finding herself, she would get a butterfly or something, something that represents her love for the family.

Dolores

One of Mariano’s poems on the inside of her forearm so she can reread it regularly. And a little lightning bolt right behind her ear, Pepa’s gift probably makes their relationship complicated, so I could see them looking for ways to show they do love each other despite said complications.

Luisa

She would have some sort of inspirational quote on her bicep about hard work, then post movie she would get another on the other arm about remembering to pause and enjoy life every once in a while.

Camilo

Like his mother he’d have a really hard time picking a tattoo, since the creators said they would have included him having slight identity issues if they had the space for it. When he gets on the other side of those issues, he gets those two theatre masks on the inside of his wrist to remind himself not to get too caught up in his own act.

Mirabel

Since she puts so much self expression into her clothes she wouldn’t really get the point of getting a tattoo until post movie when she starts actively building a relationship with Alma and thus gets to learn the town’s history more in depth than before. Then she gets the date the Encanto was established, a picture of the butterfly that was on the candle, and a quote about love conquering all.

Antonio

His back would become a guide to different animal tracks. So there would be the paw print and then right under it a label explaining what animal it goes to, but like all over his back and spilling down his arms when he runs out of room. Since he and the artist wouldn’t be sure how to do snake tracks, he’d have the local snake species circling his ankles and wrists.

[glittercakes]

Which headcanons do you have about the Koopalings?

Let’s see…

The age order from oldest to youngest is Ludwig (18), Lemmy (17), Roy (16), Iggy (15), Wendy (14), Morton (13), and finally Larry (12).

The Koopalings are Bowser’s adopted children and you can pry that from my cold dead hands (I do not care what Miyamoto has to say about this). He was a little concerned when he kept finding random abandoned Dragon Koopa babies, but he still took them all in.

Lemmy and Iggy have the same parents, but Iggy was still an egg when they got adopted and didn’t hatch until after Roy came into the picture

For the most part, they have their personalities from the cartoons (except Ludwig is a musician/strategist and his mad scientist/inventor shtick goes to Iggy instead).

Whatever social media exists in the Mushroom Kingdom, you just know that Wendy is not only on it, but she also has tons of followers.

Morton’s caveman speak thing in Color Splash (I refuse to believe that the Paper Mario universe is separated from the main one, each post-Super game had a papery world due to magical means. I may explain this further in a future post) was a result of a concussion. Just like the cartoons, he’s a verbose guy with an inability to shut up.

A little sadder, but also in Color Splash, Black Bowser drained each Koopaling of color after their defeat, as a warning to the others to not fail. Obviously, Bowser would not have done such a thing if he was not possessed. Mario was able to restore them after the events of the game.

Funnily enough, Lemmy is the closest to Bowser Jr while Iggy is the least close.

Ludwig’s preferred instrument is the piano, but he also occasionally plays other elegant instruments like the violin or flute.

Morton is actually a really good poet, it’s just that his poems tend to go on forever.

Lemmy has a circus with some other members of the Koopa Troop.

Bowser gave the Chomp from Super Mario RPG to Iggy, as he absolutely loves Chain Chomps.

Wendy is one of the best swimmers and figure skaters in the Mushroom Kingdom (that’s why she normally takes the water and ice worlds in the main series games).

Whenever they aren’t in a game, it’s usually because they decide to take a vacation (typically somewhere that is coincidentally away from the main action).

Lemmy is really clumsy whenever he isn’t on top of one of his balls.

Larry is a really good tennis player.

Before Bowser’s Minions came out and disproved it, I liked the idea that the reason they helped Bowletta during the endgame of Superstar Saga was because Jr was being threatened.

Roy may not look like it, but he loves sappy rom-coms (bring it up and you’re dead, though).

Iggy is responsible for the upkeep of most of the Koopalings’ gear, such as their wands, clown cars, and even things like Wendy’s rings and Lemmy’s balls.

Larry has a massive sweet tooth, thus he will sometimes literally take candy from a baby.

Ludwig uses past defeats as inspiration for his symphonies.

Roy wears sunglasses due to light sensitivity.

Finally, they all love Bowser despite his many faults, and he loves them right back.

And that’s it! Feel free to add to this if you want!

[lycandrophile]

I cannot thank you enough for your posts about top surgery. I'm hoping to get mine in a couple years. Your updates are really comforting to me, even (maybe especially) the bad stuff because it makes me feel more prepared. I hope your recovery keeps going well!

On another note, how did you decide whether to keep your nipples or not? I like how chests look with and without them, so it's hard to choose

for me there were a few factors that led me to go nipless:

the biggest thing was that when i imagined my body post-op, i naturally always saw it without nipples. that was just what felt right when i thought about how it would look — i didn’t even have to think about it, that’s just what came to mind. i figured, if i’m automatically picturing myself like that, that’s probably a good indication of what i would be happiest with.

i’ve also always had sensory issues related to my nipples. i basically wore a sports bra constantly, including when i slept, because i hated the feeling of loose fabric touching them and moving against them. so if i had kept my nipples, i would’ve ended up with either no sensation or more discomfort, not anything positive.

i really didn’t want to deal with the healing process for nipple grafts. my skin is super sensitive and finicky, so if anyone would be almost guaranteed to have problems with graft healing, god only knows it would be me. i also know i’m more prone to infection than most people, so avoiding the part of the surgery that has the highest chance of infection seemed like a good plan. on top of all that, i’m also a huge baby about having to touch any sort of injury on my body (just putting moisturizer on my mostly healed incisions was something i had to work up to), so i knew doing the graft care would be difficult for me too.

i know that i can be super picky about the way things look, especially when it comes to things like spacing and symmetry. so if i had gotten nipple grafts, i think it’s super likely that i would’ve ended up feeling like they were put in the wrong place or being bothered by any asymmetry in how they healed. obviously i wanted to pick the kind of surgery that was the most likely to give me results i would be fully satisfied with, so getting grafts despite knowing i’d probably end up nitpicking them for years to come just seemed silly.

i honestly really love the idea of having a chest that’s visibly different from a typical cis man’s chest. the goal of my transition has never been to look cis and i take a lot of pride in being recognizably trans, so having a kind of surgery that isn’t just trying to imitate what i would look like if i were cis was really appealing to me.

going without grafts is just cheaper, so given all of the other reasons i didn’t want grafts, there was just no reason for me to spend extra money on them. i want a few extra hundred dollars in my bank account way more than i want nipples.

and in hindsight, i genuinely couldn’t be happier with my decision. when i look at my chest, even now while it’s still not fully healed, it looks just like how i always imagined i would look with a flat chest and feels like the most natural thing in the world.

if you’re having trouble deciding which you like better, i would try just closing your eyes and imagining both on your body. this was one thing i did if i saw someone with grafts whose results i really liked and felt uncertain in my decision, because what i always ended up realizing was that no matter how good they looked on other people, it felt super weird imagining them on myself. in fact, most of the time i struggled to really even picture it at all.

you could also try gathering a bunch of pictures of both types of results and seeing how you feel about all of them. maybe when you look at the results with grafts, there’s only a few that you feel like you would be dissatisfied with, but when you look at results without grafts, there are a lot more that you probably wouldn’t want. or maybe it’s the other way around. like i said, you’re going to want to go with the kind of surgery you’re mostly likely to be happy with, so if you seem to be more critical of one kind of surgery’s results than the other, that can help guide your choice.

and if you really don’t feel any differently about them, consider the other factors: how do you feel about the healing process? is sensation in your nipples something you find pleasure in and would consider trying to preserve? what does the difference in cost look like for you and how important is that to you? how important is it to be able to pass as cis if necessary? and so on. your decision might end up being made based on something other than pure aesthetics and that’s totally okay.

[satoruhour]

My gojo brainrot IS NOT HELPING ME CONCENTRATE SOMEONE BEAT THIS MAN UP A LIL PLS.

Tell me why I got this vision of girldad!gojo having a daddy-daughter day (the daughter is like 3-4) while you stayed home, cuddled up in couch,you think back of times when your daughter was born. You realise how gojo had been the best if not the bestest dad ever to yalls daughter, helping you out throughout pregnancy and in postpartum, still is one of the best role model for your daughter and the model husband for you, you fell asleep thinking about these

meanwhile they arrive home- saw you cocooned like this in the couch. Gojo wasn’t sure whether it was possible for his heart to deepen the love he has for you even more- but seeing you like this has proved him wrong.

He picks up his daughter, places a kiss on her and whispers- isn’t mommy the absolute best? To which your daughter nods.

They both grab blankets from the bedroom and places it on you while snuggling themselves against you. You wake up seeing them both cuddled up with you, when gojo presses a kiss on your forehead and motions at his daughter to which they both say-

“Thank you for being the best mom, I love you” which makes you all teary eyed

This is so corny and tooth rotting HELP-

I think my brain is going all south from the sadness of shibuya arc. I’m getting emotional at this. Gonna have to share my emotion with you T😔

AWW STOPPPP I LOVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹🥹 the gojo brain rot is so real i fear it’s never going away atp. ok but. lets focus on daddy-daughter day for a bit cause how CUTE is that ???!!!! his baby is so excited to show off how cool his dad is at school. he gets both of them matching outfits and matching hats and they look so cute with satoru holding her hand while she carries her little backpack OOUGGHHHHH IM ILL THATS SO ADORBS 😭😭😭😭 you just HAD to take a pic ! it was ur lockscreen for so long ehehe

the other kids are so in awe of gojo bc one. he’s super tall but also his features r so. striking that the boys want to BE him and some of the mothers are like attracted to him bc of how sweet he is to his baby !!! he only has eyes for you tho :p

but anyway yes you realise just how good of a dad gojo is and how blessed you were with a kid like your first daughter. he’s always so cautious while handling her, always having the brightest expression when talking to her, taking care of you endlessly even when you swore you were fine (god i need him) that you get a little teary eyed before sleeping, but ultimately you’re going to sleep with a smile on your face when satoru sends you a picture of them finishing up daddy-daughter day with big grins and ice cream (they got one for you too!!) and ugh it becomes your homescreen after LOLOL

and then when they come home 🥹🥹🥹 they grab blankets for you when they see you so comfortably snuggled up after months of stressing over whether the baby would be okay, moving everywhere in the house to take care of food, diapers, etc. even when your darling girl was born you’d still be at the forefront trying to shoulder everything bc it’s just a mother’s instinct 💗

ill change ur narrative a bit tho - i would think gojo would be carrying her when she comes back and he whispers about how youre such a good mama, and your baby girl almost shouts the idea of wanting to cover you with a blanket until satoru shushes her with a kiss to her forehead LOLOL shes too cute. before they officially go to find the blanket though, gojo is telling her something - “okay, so let’s practice this a little, ‘thank you for being the best mom, i love you!’” and ur daughter is like can we change it to mama ??? we call her mama right? and gojo wants to scream into a pillow cause his baby girl is just too cuteee 😞😞😞😞 and they practice it a little until she memorises it!

then, gojo guides her thru the house to where the spare blankets are and lets her choose and lets her lug the heavy thing out into the living room and hes so mean not helping her omg. even takes a vid of her pulling it and struggling 😭😭😭 bro is insane. but anyway they both drape it over you, but not before they’re cuddling up to you as well - all the movement and fabric wakes you

and you’re smiling wide, mumbling “welcome back” while half asleep and your baby jumps into your arms and rambles alllll about daddy daughter day and how papa was the coolest there !!!! you’re all like “oh really?” and gojo only nods, on a high horse from all the praise and you shove him with a loud laugh, only to be interrupted by “waiiittt! mama! i have something to say!!!”

they look to each other for a bit before they turn to you, your daughter struggling to catch up a little bc gojo talks so DAMN fast: “thank you for being the best mama, i love you!” they get it right the second time and by then you’re doing that downward “aww” smile with big teary eyes which they just hug to comfort you and it only makes you cry more :((((( they both give you lots and lots of kisses to make up for it !!! and later at night satoru reminds you of how large of a light you’ve been to both him and your daughter and that they really really really love you so so much

[chvoswxtch]

Hello my love! I love the way you write Frank (AND Matt, but im in a Frank mood tonight). I’m not sure if you’re taking requests rn, but if you are, I love to submit one!! Tbh I’m so sick of how douchey guys are these days on apps, and the “oh you just wanted a free meal” behavior and dating rn is the fucking worst. What’s your take on a situation where you’re friends with Frank and you complain about how badly men behave these days, and he offers to take you on a real date and treat you right? Bc I could use a Frank to rescue me and treat me right rn 😫

hello my darling! thank you so much, omg. you're too kind🥺

ok first of all when I say you are PREACHING to the damn CHOIR !!! I tried a few dating apps and I loathed every single one of them. straight up was not having a good time. it was an absolute travesty, so I feel for you so hard right now angel.

this is my first time doing a headcannon so this is super exciting and i'm happy we get to do this together!! because you absolutely DESERVE a frankie to rescue you and treat you right because you are a goddamn CATCH you are a GLOWING GODDESS and anyone should be so heckin LUCKY as to go on a date with you ❤️

headcannon is going to be below the cut bc y'all know I get carried away, especially with my baby frankie

frank castle & dating apps

first things first: frank castle is very old fashioned, so the idea of a dating app probably not only confuses the fuck out of him but also makes him grimace. like the man without a doubt hates texting, preferring an actual phone call instead, and most likely comes up with a million different threats to your security and worst case scenarios when you teach him about online dating

"don't you wanna meet someone the old fashioned way? how can you tell they're not a complete asshole just by a picture and a few words? what if they ain't who they say they are? you still got that knife I gave ya?"

frank already made you share your location with him a long time ago for safety reasons but now makes you text him the address of wherever it is you're going on these "dates" as well as check in with him every hour

he would probably be adamant about coming with you and sitting in a corner somewhere so he could keep an eye on you but you quickly shot that down bc it's frank and he's very hard to miss and you would have a hard time explaining to your date why that big guy across the room looks like he's seconds away from committing murder (you know exactly which look i'm talking about)

frank requests you send him a picture of whatever guy you're meeting just in case he needs to hunt him down find him if you don't check in or something happens, and never hesitates to offer a look of utter disdain and merciless judgment when you finally send it

"really? you're goin' on a date with this? the options on them apps that goddamn bad, sweetheart?"

frank is extremely shameless in verbally eviscerating every single guy you show him or tell him about and never misses an opportunity to make his opinions known

one night you storm into his apartment without knocking (a common occurrence he's finally gotten used to) and plop down next to him on the couch with a glass a wine (he made a mental note to keep the kind you like on hand at all times) and start to vent about your latest disaster date

the guy made you drive nearly an hour out of your way to meet him at a sketchy dive bar, spent the whole night talking about himself and cutting you off every time you spoke, and then had the AUDACITY to ask you to cover the tab because he "forgot" his wallet at home (this actually happened to me once)

frank can't take it anymore. this online dating thing has been going on for months and every time you vent to him about these assholes, it gets harder and harder for him to control his feelings for you because he's supposed to be your friend and the guys you've been going out with look nothing like him and as much as he wants to be with you, he's scared to ruin the one good thing he has. so, frank hatches a plan

"alright, I can't take this shit anymore. don't make plans friday night. we're goin' out."

he says it so nonchalantly, you almost don't catch what he means. you splutter out your wine, staring over at frank because there's no way he just asked you out on a date??? frank catches your look and offers a timid smile, reaching over to squeeze your knee gently

"relax. i'm just gonna show you what a real date should be like. you've been on so many shitty ones, I don't even know if you know what a good one is. let me help you raise your standards a bit."

let me tell you something, frank castle knows a thing or two about romance. this man goes ALL OUT. picking you up at your door (on time, early even), flowers in hand (your favorites bc he actually listens when you talk), is the most dressed up you've ever seen him (it's a dress shirt and jeans but he's usually covered in blood so), opens all the doors for you and pulls out your chair, takes you to a restaurant he knew you would love bc he knows your favorite dish & dessert, spends the whole night asking you questions about things he's always wanted to know about you, makes you laugh with silly jokes and stories, and tells you several times throughout the night how beautiful he thinks you look

you've always had a crush on frank (how could you not honestly) so you were a nervous wreck about the whole thing and what it meant for your friendship and if he was just doing this to be nice because he felt sorry for you or if he actually liked you back

but the date is not only the best one you've ever been on but also the easiest because it's frank and he's your best friend and you've never felt more comfortable or at ease with someone and when the check comes it makes your heart sink because you never want this date to end, even if it isn't real

the entire walk back to your apartment there's a palpable nervous energy between the two of you and his hands are in his pockets but you desperately wish they were holding yours and when you stop at your door there's a million thoughts racing through your head that you wanna say but the look in frank's eyes steals the oxygen straight out of your lungs

"listen I uh...know I said this was just to show you how a real date should be and what not, and I did mean that but...I really just wanted to show you how you should be treated ya'know. how...how I would treat you, if you'd let me. i'd give you the goddamn world if you asked, sweetheart. I don't know if I read tonight wrong, but I know I could be the right man for you, and I think you know that too. at least, I hope you do. there's nothin' I wouldn't do for you, honey. I understand if you don't feel the same way-"

you don't even let frank finish that sentence before you're dragging him down by his collar and crashing your lips together because holy shit frank, your frank, wants you just as much as you want him

needless to say you invite him up and show him just how much you want him despite his weak attempt at trying to continue to be a gentleman

"sweetheart, we can take it slow. I don't mind-" "frank I swear to god if you don't take your pants off right now, i'm never kissing you again." "yes ma'am."

[signalwatch]

Tarzan Watch: Greystoke - the Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984)

this is the most pretentious possible Tarzan poster

Watched:  04/10/2023

Format:  HBOmax

Viewing:  First

Director:  Hugh Hudson

I can only imagine what the pitch meeting was for this movie, and I can totally see how it happened.  

In 1981, Hugh Hudson had directed Chariots of Fire, a movie that was a smash hit about pasty British guys running foot races and worrying about religion.  Like, you couldn't escape the movie, which I watched on TV once when I was sick as a kid and immediately erased from my memory.  But it was a big @#$%ing deal when adults went to the cinema.  

I'm sure it's great.  But it was an unlikely hit, and won Best Picture.  Career made for somebody.

So when the director of the footrace movie comes to you and says "we're gonna do Tarzan.  But now it's a prestige costume drama about how Tarzan is, in fact, a very sad ape man.  He is not a super-human living among men, continually pursued by hot women and fighting weird alien threats and large animals.  Instead, he's a kind of skinny French guy who does stuff you've seen apes do at the zoo.  But, you know, it's quite sad" I guess you trust and give that guy a sack of cash to give it a go.

A bunch of other people had seen this movie, and had more or less ape-blocked me from seeing it over the years as every time I said "I've not seen this, but I'd like to" I'd be told "No.  It is not good."  And I was like "okay, fair enough."  But tonight that didn't work, and I settled in for 2 hours and 15 minutes of sad Tarzan.

Look, at the end of the day, someone needed to realize a grown man imitating an ape is not what Tarzan is, exactly.  Or that this would be a good thing to see on screen when it did happen.  I don't know if they thought they were getting the magic on camera by having Christopher Lambert oop every time he felt an emotion, or basically having him play an ape who occasionally mutters short sentences.  Frankly, this Tarzan seems positively ready for an institution, and so it makes for an utterly unbuyable love story between John Greystoke and Jane Porter, but it's the sexy 80's, so you know they're gonna bang.  And, indeed, they do.

I've read the first Tarzan book, seen a few other Tarzan movies and read (and re-read) a Marvel comics adaptation of the first part of the first novel a fair bit, and you kind of realize the quick pitch version of the Greystokes winding up in Africa and their time there before things go sideways is more crucial than this movie thought.  Add in that this movie really, really struggles with whether Tarzan is a feral person or has the astonishing intellect of the Tarzan of the novel in order to hew closer to a very 1980's story about man and nature, man's nature and nurture, and lacking basic reasoning skills in early 20th Century Scotland.

I can maybe get with a "but what if Tarzan really happened?" angle, but you're in a constant state of "yes, but..." regression that more or less flatlines at baby John Clayton dead in the jungle two days after his discovery by Kala.  So you have to maybe accept even more, but more nuanced, absurdities than even the original novel doles out in order to buy the film.  The casting of Lambert is odd, in part because he's not exactly Johnny Weismuller, and it's difficult to believe this guy survived in the jungle against apes and leopards. But it's the fact that when Tarzan is home, he's both utterly alien to himself and the world around him, but no one seems to notice?  As he's all but flinging poo, people are just jabbering away at him.  

What's oddest is that because Lambert is fairly successful at becoming an ape(mentally), it feels as if there's no inner world to Tarzan in some ways.  We have no idea if he understands anything said to him, or the complexity of his predicament.  He self soothes by ooping and rolling around.  It's incredibly weird that the movie doesn't seem to think this is a problem.  Or maybe it's an unsolvable problem?  There's just a peculiar distance between the characters and the viewer, all of them - not just Clayton, that it's a bit odd.  

All of that is, in it's way... kind of passable.  But the movie is also morbidly predictable.  Maybe it's the era, or maybe it's that they treat Tarzan more like a cub in Born Free than a human character, but you know this shit ends with Tarzan seeing his kindly grandfather/ benefactor croaking and the demands of the world becoming too much so he wanders back into the jungle to sweeping orchestral music before our ape man ever leaves the jungle.  You know Jane will stand there impassiveley while Tarzan chooses a swift death in the jungle over endless food, luxury and sex with an actual human.  You know the noble Belgian will try to get him back to the jungle when, frankly, he's probably gonna get killed after living soft for a year.

I am sure this felt mind-blowingly clever as they were making it, but the end result is a sad man making monkey noises for 90 minutes, and then running away.  And that's maybe not what people were thinking of when they showed up to see a Tarzan flick with a budget.   

Jamie mentioned the movie felt weirdly disjointed, and upon review...  yeah.  It kinda was.  The movie can feel like it's borrowing from movies you already know, but doesn't do much with those storylines, so it's like these barely realized vignettes.  Like - the entire storyline of Jane having a suitor goes nowhere and doesn't really do what it's intended to do - ie: show Jane how Tarzan is more noble than the nobleman.  She doesn't see him beat the young helper guy.  She doesn't see Tarzan save the day.  She just dumps the guy for reasons that are vague (I mean, except wanting to live in a sweet mansion).  That's just an example.  The movie kind of does a lot of this.

It's a shame, because there's maybe a path for a Tarzan movie that tries to ground itself a bit more.  But the 1980's was probably the last decade to tell a story about Tarzan without culture's need to navigate and acknowledge Europe's fuckery in colonial Africa.  I think now you'd need to set the story post WWII or something and be careful.  ERB's original prose isn't quite as racist as you'd expect, but it's certainly a product of its time (ie: it's still racist, just not as nut punchingly straightforwardly racist as other things you'll stumble over).  

I kinda liked the 2016 Tarzan, because (a) the casting was rock solid (b) 3rd reel animal rampage and (c) making Lord Greystoke here anti-Colonial and giving a convincing argument for his desire to return home.  It's got issues, and I wanted more monkey-business, but it was all right.  That said - it was still mostly a reminder:  oh my god.  This is really hard now.

Anyway, I'm glad I finally watched it.  It made excellent use of Andie McDowall's frankly stunning hair.  Rick Baker's ape suits were everything I'd read about.  The set and locations look phenomenal.  There were genuine moments of hope for me that this might be better than expected.    

https://ift.tt/m9dawB2

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/2mAZjzG

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Nancy & Teddy Pt.3

Teddy: Perhaps I’ll murder her, people snap when others are as cruel to them as you’ve been to me

Nancy: Why wouldn’t you murder me, I’m laying here with her

Teddy: Because I want you to live with it

Nancy: Yeah

Teddy: I’m serious about us being together, if you’re dead that’s hardly feasible

Nancy: then I’ll hold her down for you

Teddy: I can see it now

Nancy: Me too

Nancy: she keeps breathing too big though and it’s upsetting me

Teddy: You’ll have to think about something else

Teddy: I’m picturing you in a shock collar until your behaviour changes, for instance, it’s given me a real mood boost

Nancy: 🐶🥺

Nancy: Your punishment ideas are only making me want to behave much worse, btw

Teddy: I shouldn’t have shared them with you, giving you the silent treatment would be a fitting punishment, fatherhood is unfairly difficult

Nancy: You need some stimulating conversation after the long day you’ve had

Teddy: You’re right, I’ll go & talk to [some peeps at the club that they both know so she has an opinion about them] 

Nancy: Ha!

Nancy: we both know I’m your favourite person to talk to

Teddy: Thankfully, because ALL we’re going to do is talk

Nancy: well if you won’t come over, I can’t do anything to change that

Teddy: You could, I know you always have your own ideas

Nancy: I suppose you could find someone in the club that looks like me

Nancy: but she doesn’t look a thing like you so what am I meant to do?

Teddy: A pillow over her head can only do so much

Nancy: yeah, no dick either 😔

Teddy: But you do have [whatever she used before that was the right size of his] to fit inside of her & then yourself

Nancy: OH

Teddy: Nobody in the club is going to be as fun as that 😔

Nancy: Come on, don’t give up

Nancy: we can think of an equally fun idea for you

Teddy: No, you’ll be having the most fun you can possibly have & I’ll be super bored, which is typical when you’re the one who’s supposed to be receiving a punishment

Nancy: I won’t touch her

Nancy: not unless we can do it together

Teddy: All I can do is take the word of someone who doesn’t even trust mine

Nancy: If you weren’t in a club, you could call me

Nancy: I’ll buy you a baby monitor, what about that?

Teddy: It won’t arrive immediately, she’ll be gone

Nancy: I’m not going to do it, please

Teddy: If you say so, oh wait, no, that’s still trust based

Nancy: Teddy, I get it

Teddy: Good, please understand that without it we can barely do anything we want to

Nancy: I’m sorry

Teddy: You will be, the amount of fun you’ll miss out on if you don’t trust me

Nancy: Okay, then I’ll trust you

Teddy: We’ll see

Nancy: I love you, I didn’t say it earlier when you did so

Teddy: You’re just saying it now as something you think I want to hear

Nancy: If that was the case, you’d be happier to hear it

Nancy: I just want to

Teddy: I’m happy when you mean it & I can tell that isn’t the case

Nancy: You don’t want to hear it because you’re enjoying being mean too much

Teddy: You want to get your own way

Nancy: I want you to love me again

Teddy: Well, the blackmail plot is reserved for my father

Nancy: Wow, alright then

Teddy: You can’t manipulate me as easily

Nancy: That’s not what this is

Teddy: It is, I’m not a complete fool

Nancy: Have a good rest of your evening

Teddy: You too

Nancy: yeah, fuck you too

Teddy: A fantastic choice of words considering how reluctant you are to

Nancy: You’re the one who won’t fucking come over and do it

Teddy: I wouldn’t need to come over if you hadn’t kicked me out in the first place

Nancy: It’s too late now, she’ll be too conscious 

Teddy: Yeah, it is

Nancy: You’re a child

Teddy: You have the option to fuck someone your own age, tonight or on any other

Nancy: yeah, now you’re bored I do

Teddy: Have a marvellous time 

Nancy: Obviously

Teddy: I’ll drink to it

Nancy: No need to waste any more time thinking about me

Teddy: The Nancy I think about isn’t a disappointment the way you’re determined to be, it’s fine 🥂

Nancy: You’re determined to be disappointed in whatever I say or do now

Teddy: No, but it’s unfortunate I am

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: all because I sent you away

Teddy: You’ve thrown this all away repeatedly, I’ve lost count of how many times over the course of today you’ve told me we’re through with everything

Nancy: So what, it’s your turn?

Nancy: If you don’t want it then you’re cutting your own nose off

Teddy: I haven’t once agreed to your nonsense

Nancy: You’re pushing me away

Teddy: I’m not giving you exactly what you want the moment you decide you want it, because the next you’ll change your mind & say you don’t

Nancy: Then there’s no point carrying on this conversation, so go talk to [whoever he said before] and have fun, seriously

Teddy: It’s always on your terms or absolutely nothing

Nancy: It was you who said you’d give me everything I want, now you’ve taken it back

Nancy: Do you actually have anything to say?

Teddy: I can’t do this with you at the same time as what I have to do with your idiot cousin, I’ll lose my grip on my sanity

Nancy: Oh my GOD, I’m not doing anything

Nancy: what have you taken, you’re being super paranoid 

Teddy: [whatever he has taken because lol I’m sure you have]

Nancy: that explains it

Teddy: What explains you? Because today has been ridiculous

Nancy: If you’re saying I should be medicated, I’ve tried plenty of what they hand out

Teddy: I just want to know

Nancy: I tried to explain it to you before but I obviously don’t know well enough myself because we’re here again

Teddy: Things can’t have gone that right with her & this wrong with you, it’s entirely the opposite way to how I’d like them to be

Nancy: When you’ve come down and back up again, come find me and we’ll make up

Teddy: Okay, I will

Nancy: I’ll remind you if you don’t

Teddy: Please

Nancy: It’s a promise

Teddy: I hope so, it’s vile to miss you as much as I do

Nancy: I know, I told you I feel sick

Nancy: you can move in as soon as possible, can’t you

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: We can make an excuse, that you need to, she’ll be thankful, even though she can’t move herself in as well

Teddy: I’ll go with the star crossed lovers angle, my parents are furious I’m dating her but I am, because we’re SO in love I HAVE to

Nancy: She’ll eat that up

Teddy: & they are going to be furious, whether enough to kick me out in reality yet or not

Nancy: You can’t very well tell them it’s not real, ruins the fun

Teddy: You’ll come out of it extremely well, being supportive & offering me a place to stay

Nancy: I’m obviously your two’s biggest fan

Teddy: I’ve been an idiot, I don’t know why either

Nancy: Neither of us does this often

Teddy: I think I’m scared too, of you like you are of me

Nancy: yeah

Nancy: and tonight I’m sorry because I want you close to me

Teddy: I didn’t expect it to hurt as badly as that, when you didn’t

Nancy: It was like watching myself from the ceiling, it just happened, beyond my control

Teddy: I can relate, since I arrived at this club I may as well have been on the ceiling

Nancy: I know those nights

Nancy: where are you going to go after

Teddy: Home?

Teddy: the [this drug he’s on] isn’t helping

Nancy: Want me to keep you company then?

Teddy: I can’t promise I’ll be good company

Nancy: I can handle it

Nancy: you should probably have some [either booze or another drug that has the opposite effect to whatever he has taken] try to level out

Teddy: [go find that and send evidence of you taking it like a good boy lol, looking a mood and a moment doing it no doubt despite the state of you]

Nancy: There you go, that’ll help 🥰

Teddy: [suggest something she’d have to hand whether that’s drugs or a drink to help with how sick she said she felt] will help you

Nancy: [do the same and be in your own bed now because leave that gal alone]

Teddy: How DARE you look incredible when you feel bad

Nancy: says you, always looking like that

Teddy: I feel like a child, wanting to ask you out & hold your hand & kiss you

Nancy: Everyone is so corrupted by the time they hit like year 10, that’s why, everyone is a mess

Nancy: I like holding your hand, a lot

Teddy: It’s a blur, my entire childhood, perhaps I should find that slightly concerning?

Nancy: Quite possibly

Nancy: but you are the baby, if everything is already a mess before you even understand it all

Teddy: I didn’t quite fix everything as intended

Nancy: You’re too good to waste your time trying, it’s all a farce, the loving family

Teddy: You know I can give you that though, don’t you? 

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: you already give me more

Nancy: attention, energy, even when that’s used on being mad

Teddy: Even fighting with you feels good

Nancy: It means you care, you’ve not given up

Teddy: Today was a blip, I’m not giving up

Nancy: Me either, I’m going to make you stuck with me forever

Teddy: Not stuck, that’s your cousin in her [whatever outfit she was wearing that he bought for her, calling it by its designer probably like a dick]

Nancy: The swelling 🤭

Teddy: Put it on for me when she leaves

Nancy: There’s no point her taking it home, after-all

Teddy: & let me take you to [wherever they went on this notp date]

Nancy: Please, you have to

Teddy: Anything Grace & I do

Nancy: I can’t stand being jealous of her, it’ll make me crazy

Nancy: crazier

Teddy: You don’t deserve to be left out

Nancy: thank you 🥺

Teddy: We aren’t going to have any repeats of what happened, I’m going to treat you like royalty

Nancy: I’m going to be so much nicer

Teddy: Rex can be jealous, neither of us

Nancy: He’ll be so happy to have you home with us

Teddy: He must be 🐶🥺💔 his mummy & daddy fighting for such a long time

Nancy: I’ll tell him we’re making up and he can watch, poor baby

Teddy: Is he there with you right now?

Nancy: Yes, I woke him up when I left the spare room

Teddy: [some kind of shameless voice note in his dog/baby voice that’s actually purely for her benefit, we know the vibes]

Nancy: I’m trying to give you so many babies so you have to talk like that forever 

Teddy: I have no complaints about making them forever

Nancy: best daddy

Teddy: I want to fuck you constantly

Nancy: You need to, nothing else could be as important

Teddy: I was hard for you the entire time, she couldn’t even tell

Nancy: She couldn’t even see straight

Nancy: it’ll never be for her

Teddy: Every inch is for you

Nancy: I am so happy, I just want you, no one else 

Teddy: I believe you this time

Nancy: You have to, I need to be with you

Teddy: I need you now, I can’t stand being without you

Nancy: I could come to yours? We can be together

Teddy: What about her?

Nancy: I think she’ll be fine

Nancy: neither of us has ever actually choked on our own vomit and we’ve been much more wasted

Teddy: Still, if anyone would die at the precise moment things are about to be really entertaining for us

Nancy: yeah, you’re right but

Nancy: God, I am losing it without you

Teddy: Embarrass her into boarding the earliest possible flight home

Nancy: That’s what I do best

Nancy: and you did go out after your date, what could be more shaming?

Teddy: I’ll come over the instant she’s away

Nancy: You’re only making it in the door so no one but us gets to appreciate all the things we need to do

Teddy: & I hate for Rex to escape thinking I’m upset at you because he hasn’t had a chance to see us happy again

Nancy: He’s too little, he has to stay with us

Nancy: he’ll be almost as happy she’s gone, she takes too much attention

Teddy: She’s too loud

Nancy: and clumsy

Teddy: There isn’t going to be any water in his bowl for him to drink with her kicking it as often as she does

Nancy: Did think you were going to force me to drink out of it… which is fun and all but I might want my own bowl so he doesn’t bite my face off

Teddy: I’ve NEVER seen you drink water, you’ll have to have your own for what you actually drink out of it

Nancy: Hey 😅 I hydrate!

Nancy: but again, the possibilities are intriguing and endless

Teddy: You must, your skin would be horrific otherwise & it isn’t

Nancy: are you going to call me old and wrinkly now

Teddy: No baby

Nancy: You kinda did, she said I was too old for you, or you were too young for me

Teddy: She’s got a lower IQ than Rex has, don’t listen to her

Nancy: We think the same, however old

Teddy: & I couldn’t be any more attracted to you

Nancy: You were hard the whole time 😸😸

Teddy: [some pics he had taken at some point to illustrate this fact but then got too distracted to show her because she kicked him out etc]

Nancy: I’m going to die when you’re inside me

Teddy: [tell her some more deets from this date that you forgot to whisper to her earlier cos the excitement and everything but have just come back to you rn cos of sending those pics]

Nancy: No one else could do this like you, you know that

Nancy: It would be so boring, if it worked at all

Teddy: I’m irreplaceable 

Nancy: You’re perfect for me

Teddy: I’ll feel perfect inside of you, you already know that after [whatever she used as a replica]

Nancy: I kept that under my pillow, it’s the closest I could feel to you whilst you were on your date

Teddy: Keep it in you until she wakes up

Nancy: I’m practising 👅

Teddy: I want you to feel close to me, for it to feel real until we’re back together

Nancy: You’re not leaving, not until she’s back, all we’re going to do is fuck

Teddy: Order your new bed, it has to be here

Nancy: Alright

Nancy: you don’t have to call in sick to Uni, right, you just don’t show?

Teddy: Nobody’ll care but the rugby team

Nancy: They can have you back when I’m finished

Teddy: I won’t let you be finished with me

Nancy: Okay, but I absolutely insist you let me watch you getting all muddy wrestling around with other hot guys

Teddy: I’ll hurt someone just for you 

Nancy: I’ll still kiss you better instead

Teddy: I’ll have to buy you something [whatever these rugby colours are], maybe [something boujee and ridiculous]?

Nancy: Rex wants us all to match too 🥰😌

Nancy: He just said

Teddy: [this boy just having a lil online shopping spree rn and letting her know about all of it, I dread to think]

Nancy: 🥳

Nancy: [send him bed options you’re looking at that have no business being so expensive]

Teddy: [Tell her your faves and ask her when’s the soonest they can be delivered etc because obvs wanna fuck on it ASAP and ideally for the first time that y’all do in her bed so dealbreaker on which one you pick]

Nancy: [do some more research because I’m sure for the right price you can make them take your bed and deliver this one tomorrow, everything can be sorted with cash as long as you’re not asking for some custom bed which is not the vibe, just new for the mood and the moment tah]

Teddy: [oh to be rich, we all know he’s gonna be buying her all sorts of shit for that bed too, the most expensive sheets ever like it’s nbd, a million pillows, the list goes on]

Nancy: 🤴👸 

Nancy: No one else is allowed to sleep in it, ever

Teddy: Promise & I’ll trust you to keep it

Nancy: I promise, not even her

Teddy: Especially not her, some things need to be ours or this isn’t going to work

Nancy: Rex is ours too

Teddy: & he can be mean to her in ways we can’t

Nancy: YOU could bite her too, but how into it she could be is probably a little off-putting

Teddy: I’ll find what she isn’t & do it anyway

Nancy: 😍

Nancy: He isn’t house-trained, I intend to direct him towards her things when I next notice him looking for somewhere to go

Teddy: [just shading her by suggesting things you think she has that this dog should piss on based on your opinion of poor Grace, rightly or wrongly, soz hun]

Nancy: [just join in with suggestions that all seem outlandish but some are clearly real ‘cos you actually know and you’re leaving it to his imagination to work out what is and isn’t]

Teddy: [having a lovely time mocking this girl, excuse us]

Nancy: I missed you so

Teddy: I love you so

Nancy: I love you too

Nancy: you’re going to feel it

Teddy: I do, that’s been the difficulty of today

Nancy: I’m sorry I’m shit at this, I’ve never needed to be good, no one has wanted it

Teddy: I’m not used to struggling either, it rarely happens

Nancy: I can tell

Nancy: I’m going to show you, how to fake struggling at Uni

Teddy: It’ll make such a difference, to be able to put Uni to one side for the time being

Nancy: You’re already going to be pulled in so many directions for all our plans to come together

Teddy: I’m seriously relying on you & your help, you understand that now, don’t you?

Nancy: Totally, you need me

Teddy: We need each other

Nancy: yeah, every time it’s said, it becomes a little less terrifying of a prospect

Teddy: Soon you won’t even be afraid

Nancy: I don’t mind being a little bit afraid, I can handle it for this

Teddy: Be a big, brave girl & you can be a baby when she’s far away

Nancy: You did ask really nicely there 🥺 

Nancy: I’ll try harder

Teddy: So will I, I haven’t been super supportive thus far

Nancy: We’ll learn together

Nancy: even if I’d been loads of people’s serious girlfriend before, I want to be right for you

Teddy: You are right for me, it’s crazy how right you are

Nancy: You’re too right, thinking about losing you nearly made me puke already

Teddy: Did the [whatever he suggested] make you better or have I got more work to do?

Nancy: No it worked 🥰 and you being nice again

Teddy: I think you trump the [whatever drug he took to balance out] too at stabilising my mood

Nancy: This makes me feel like being unbearable in public with you

Teddy: There are somehow numerous places lacking the required courage to ask me to leave, you could be the girl to change that

Nancy: ‘Challenge’ accepted

Teddy: It’ll make the legitimate challenge your cousin poses much more bearable, for both of us to have that one in mind

Nancy: Definitely

Nancy: absolutely no one is going to tell her anything that happens whilst she’s not here, she doesn’t know anyone like that

Teddy: & should anyone dare to attempt it, she isn’t going to believe them over you

Nancy: Never

Nancy: not when I’m the only one supporting your forbidden union 🙄😘

Teddy: Our total freedom to do as we please remains, she isn’t turning our entire lives upside down

Nancy: this plan is for our benefit entirely, if it’s not working for us, it’s not happening

Teddy: We both need to just keep that firmly in mind & not lose sight of it again

Nancy: it’s just pretend she gets everything she wants, it’s real for us

Teddy: It’s OUR forbidden union 

Nancy: I don’t care who I hurt for you

Teddy: Hurt [the peeps he mentioned talking to before, soz that you’ve done literally nothing to deserve this rn] for me

Nancy: Now I have your permission to act batshit… 😈

Teddy: Let it out, you’ve had a horrid day

Nancy: I’ll start tonight but how much does cyberbullying really get to anyone? I’ll have to get out tomorrow night

Teddy: They’ll be at [wherever they’ve said, whether directly to this boy or he’s overheard]

Nancy: And you’ll buy me a new outfit too

Teddy: Whatever she gets you will, except yours is allowed to be flattering

Nancy: I would recommend you let me look better at the end of it, for your own sake, darling

Teddy: Noted, the mighty will have fallen far enough when word spreads Grace & I are official

Nancy: 😬 Good thing you don’t care, it’ll be bad for your rep for

Nancy: forever, if it was real

Teddy: The sacrifices I willingly make for you

Nancy: It’s going to be worth it

Nancy: you can have anything you want from me

Teddy: I know, I’m spurred on by it

Teddy: waiting days to contact her will be tortuous

Nancy: You could open with that

Teddy: She’ll show you whether I do or not, do let me know your thoughts on the opener I choose

Nancy: Undoubtedly it will be far more restrained because she’s so frigid

Teddy: I’ll embody my brother for a spot of roleplay, flowery language that essentially means nothing & goes nowhere

Nancy: Copy and paste poetry for the most generic girl, couldn’t be more perfect

Teddy: I’m in no danger of losing myself as long as I also have you, the least generic girl in the city

Nancy: A boy like you could never be that boring, I’m not concerned you’re going to fall for her

Teddy: I’d sooner fall into [somewhere neither of them would be caught dead] or the arms of [likewise someone they mutually cannot stand]

Nancy: If you ever succumb to such insanity, I’ll get you sectioned, it won’t be hard for me 

Teddy: Saving me from myself would be beyond necessary, yes

Nancy: That is how much I care about you

Nancy: you know I’d be so dreadfully bored alone, too

Teddy: You’re so loving 🥺

Nancy: You make it seem worthwhile, it’s always seemed pointless, caring

Teddy: It was, the point is you & I realising we’re perfect for each other

Nancy: How is it you, you’re so fucking gorgeous

Teddy: Because you are too

Nancy: marry me

Teddy: Meet me in [the boujee-est ring shop ever] when you’re ready to do it

Nancy: and there isn’t a half-dead girl to keep on the right side of 💀

Nancy: it can’t come soon enough

Teddy: There’s no harm in looking at 💍 until then, she isn’t even beside you in bed anymore

Nancy: because I’m behaving, was

Nancy: [send him these websites to look at together, trying to find how dramatic and expensive you can possibly be, which I’m sure we can’t even comprehend]

Teddy: My 😇

Teddy: [god, I just know most of them are hideous because the diamonds would be so big and ridiculous yikes, but obvs he’s joining in and getting into it, as well as being shady about Chlo’s ring and his sister’s at the same time I’m sure, as well as anyone else they know who has gotten married]

Nancy: Yours, however well I’m behaving

Nancy: [truly, just tell him about every friend you have who either outright gave their mans the ring they wanted like this or nothing or ended up returning whatever effort they got for the one they wanted because so real]

Teddy: You’re friends with some real pieces of work, Nance 

Nancy: Isn’t everyone?

Teddy: Everyone worth knowing 

Nancy: I’m not going to do that to you, I didn’t like hurting you like today

Teddy: Once will suffice, we’ve both learned our lesson

Nancy: you can still try the shock collar, if you like

Teddy: Have you ordered one?

Nancy: [confirmation, ‘cos you clearly have lmao]

Nancy: whoops

Teddy: 😈

Nancy: In my defence, I didn’t know how else to cheer you up at the time

Nancy: it was the one thing you seemed certain you wanted 

Teddy: I haven’t changed my mind since, it’s still something I want

Nancy: I want it too, quite badly

Teddy: We do have an example to set after all, how else is Rex supposed to learn unless he sees me fucking you like a 🐶?

Nancy: He’s relying on you to teach him everything you know, truly

Nancy: and he does love to watch, he’s always staring at me, he’ll be even more intrigued when you’re the one pounding me instead

Teddy: I owe it to him to take the responsibility extremely seriously

Nancy: and me

Teddy: & you

Nancy: and I’ve never had this long to fantasize about anyone before, to prepare, it always just happens

Teddy: There didn’t seem to be any appeal to waiting, you want something & you get it as soon as is possible

Nancy: right, exactly

Nancy: and I haven’t even always got everything I wanted like you, that’s still how I felt

Teddy: You’re changing me

Nancy: not too much, I hope

Nancy: I like you as you are

Teddy: Hopefully in ways that’ll make me even more likeable

Nancy: 😸

Nancy: Would you like a housewarming party when you move in?

Teddy: I’d LOVE a housewarming party

Teddy: Is she going to be there?

Nancy: 🤔

Nancy: You’d have to be on your best behaviour until she was too blitzed to remember what you were doing

Nancy: not that that takes long

Teddy: We could have one with her in attendance & one without? 

Nancy: We could, definitely

Nancy: or we could see just how badly we can get her to behave, anything you do will become irrelevant if she yet again commits faux pas after faux pas

Teddy: What a fantastic idea

Nancy: [tell him of examples of you being obviously shitty to Grace which you’ve then gaslit her away from by getting her blasted so she can’t remember and then makes a fool of herself in various ways you encourage her to]

Teddy: You have to be the mother of all my children, nobody else is going to come close to acceptable now I’ve heard that

Nancy: 😳😖

Nancy: ALL of them?

Teddy: It’s important I have sons, J doesn’t have any, but even I can’t control how many attempts it may take

Nancy: I’ll try my hardest but any myths about being able to control it are definitely bullshit

Teddy: Obviously, there’s getting science involved, but that rather takes the fun out of it 🧪

Nancy: I’d rather have several unwanted daughters, if it’s all the same to you

Teddy: They wouldn’t be entirely unwanted, as previously discussed I could name them after you as I like saying it SO much, or they’ll end up taking after you in other ways which will only please me

Nancy: Fuck

Nancy: as long as they look like you, for their own sakes

Teddy: My mother’s side of the genetic code has proven stronger, thankfully, but perhaps I’d like them to be the spitting image of you, what then? Are we going to have another fight?

Nancy: I know you’d make them feel the prettiest, so no, no fighting if that’s what you want

Teddy: You’re the prettiest

Teddy: you’re fucking beautiful, Nancy, no argument

Nancy: Ha, don’t make me cry, please

Teddy: It would take more than a few tears to turn you ugly

Nancy: You’ve always been distractingly handsome, now I get to do something about it

Nancy: as long as her back’s turned

Teddy: She’ll be busy waiting on me once I move in, fetching me drinks or whatever else

Nancy: She takes like no classes at school, she only needs [the minimum you do to go to beauty school] she’s not busy

Teddy: I’m doing her a favour, they’re skills she’ll need for her minimum wage job

Nancy: She’d be lucky to pick up for a guy like you, that job does actually require a little more than fast typing skills, after-all

Teddy: Maybe my father could be convinced to employ her, I doubt he’s opposed to my sloppy seconds given his track record

Nancy: Your father bending your future wife over a desk is very fair grounds to not show for the wedding

Teddy: Though I’m not certain how I feel about him taking away my role as villain 

Nancy: Very true

Nancy: she’ll feel bad but in the guilty she lost you and ruined it way, not in the you never loved her and it was all a lie way

Nancy: entirely different plot

Teddy: She feels like that at the moment & satisfying as it is

Nancy: It’s not quite right

Nancy: plus your father is not leaving your mother to start a new life with Gracie

Teddy: He’d tire of her after 15 minutes

Nancy: Wow, giving him a lot of credit there

Nancy: Impressive for an old guy

Teddy: From what I’ve heard, it’s warranted, however begrudgingly I relay the info & almost immediately regret giving you access to it 

Nancy: 🤐😶 from me, promise

Teddy: You���re not to sleep with my father, promise

Nancy: It would seem like I was trying to collect your family

Nancy: I would never, not now

Teddy: My sister would be a maybe, given the hostage negotiations necessary at this point to free her from her awful decisions, but regrettably I believe those bad choices extend to you not being her ‘type’

Nancy: What did she like, before old men?

Nancy: I didn’t ever feel in direct competition with her for dates, and trust me, it is that intimate a scene

Teddy: She openly dated [name drop some people that Nancy would know but I’m not committing my boo to anything or a time period given we are going to possibly play her and have an idea for that storyline]

Nancy: 🤔🤔🤔

Nancy: Lots of them are still available… we’ll work something out, that doesn’t involve an unwelcomed lesbian advance

Teddy: Tell me about your father, if my mother began seeing him that would fuck over yours in a personal as well as business sense 

Nancy: He’s… money motivated, definitely but I don’t even know what he likes outside of things that everyone likes, and he’d always rather do them with my mum than anyone else

Nancy: has anyone close to your mum died? 

Teddy: [one of her parents that it is irrelevant basically so I don’t need to commit rn] but everyone’s her age has

Nancy: His twin killed herself, when they were 13, then his baby brother died a few years back now, got stabbed

Teddy: How dark

Teddy: we could kill my father?

Nancy: How? 😏

Teddy: 🤔 something new to fantasise about

Nancy: It was fun to toy with smothering her

Nancy: I imagine your dad would require more planning beforehand

Teddy: Slightly, I’ve been too open about hating him, it’s a clear motive

Nancy: Rehab, psych ward, prison

Nancy: how many visiting lists do you want to put me on?

Teddy: ALL of them darling, you’ll simply have to marry me for that reason alone

Nancy: That’s actually SO romantic, babe 😄

Nancy: I’ll make sure we clean up after ourselves so well you never get caught

Teddy: Oh no, I can’t deal with the fact we’re not going to be able to pay someone to clean up for us, the plan’s FIRST flaw 

Nancy: You’ll like getting clean with me this one time, I PROMISE

Nancy: it involves getting super messy first, that’s the main thing to focus on

Teddy: Okay, it does sound promising

Nancy: You know you wanna be covered in his blood, don’t play

Teddy: You’ll make me blush

Nancy: Good

Teddy: You want me to?

Nancy: Yes

Teddy: Regardless of where I am or who I’m with?

Nancy: You don’t have to explain about the whole dead dad element, so, of course

Teddy: I like our secrets too much to share them around

Nancy: it’s like having a real friend, or what siblings are meant to be like, I’m not sure

Nancy: but I like it too, maybe the most

Teddy: You deserve a better label than that & you know I don’t care for them most of the time

Nancy: I know the title you want to give me but until then

Teddy: Friend or brotherzoning me would be harsh if I wasn’t aware of how hot you are for yours

Nancy: You’re such a prick 😅😣

Teddy: There’s no shame, baby, it’s totally fine

Nancy: There’d be SO much shame, he’s a complete narcissist that thinks EVERYONE wants to bone him, it’s ridiculous

Teddy: I’ll keep it to myself 

Nancy: It isn’t some sickness my entire family has

Teddy: I’m only playing with you, I promise

Nancy: It tops the porn cats for a reason, just another fantasy

Nancy: you wouldn’t be the first to make the jokes, don’t worry

Teddy: Would it cheer you up if we plot to break up his relationship too?

Nancy: Definitely

Teddy: What weaknesses does she have to exploit?

Nancy: Her family, she’s overly invested in them all

Teddy: But they’re already not happy, naturally 

Nancy: but when she feels like she can step in and help, she does, and he hates it

Teddy: How convenient that Grace is her family

Nancy: mhmm

Nancy: She’s going to want to kill me

Teddy: There’s potential in how desperate she’ll be to stop the wedding

Nancy: There’s not a chance in hell she’ll be cool with this, if there was a way she could stop her, she would

Teddy: It isn’t adequate by itself but it’ll get to him

Nancy: He’ll hate how much she hates it, having to engage with it

Teddy: & the Jay drama will add to it, when we decide to fuck up J’s sobriety nonsense

Nancy: How unfortunate he’s got to behave now he’s a law school dickhead, he’ll wanna beat you and James up so badly 💔

Teddy: It would be the BIGGEST pity if he was provoked into snapping

Nancy: it’s a very provoking situation

Teddy: You can lose everything so quickly when you lose control

Nancy: and he has such a lot to lose

Teddy: & his loss is entirely your gain, especially if Ava is foolish enough to try & stand by J

Teddy: you can be their favourite

Nancy: I don’t think Grace appreciates yet how badly everyone in the family is going to hate her, for getting more involved with yours, making everything more of a mess

Nancy: and yeah, Ava will be in the same boat if she stays on his side

Teddy: It’ll be fun when she starts to appreciate it

Nancy: Doubles down on picking you… not at all a poor decision

Teddy: We’ll be all she has, you & I

Nancy: She used to listen to everything Rio said, wanna be just like her

Nancy: it hasn’t been like that in a long time

Teddy: She chose you

Nancy: and she’ll choose you

Teddy: Are you happy again?

Nancy: Always with you

Nancy: you give me so many ideas

Teddy: Once I’ve been invited to a few family functions with her I’ll have more, it’ll take a lot of the guesswork about them out of it knowing who I’m dealing with

Nancy: I’ll tell you more

Nancy: I’ve just spent the last… however long it is now, trying to ignore the fact I’m related to them all

Teddy: Of course you have

Nancy: Family events are only tolerable when I can ‘ruin’ them by being inappropriately trashed

Teddy: She can follow in your footsteps & make it tolerable for me

Nancy: It’ll be weird

Teddy: But we’ll handle it better than today went

Nancy: Or you’ll run in horror

Teddy: You have self awareness your family is a freak show, it’s not as if I’m going to have to try & break it to you gently when I discover the insanity myself

Nancy: Everyone’s is, it’s hardly as rare as people would love to pretend for their own shame’s sake

Teddy: Mine’s as horrific, when we run off it has to be hand in hand together

Nancy: Once they’re all fucked over completely, no way back from it for them

Teddy: The ultimate fantasy

Nancy: I need it to be real, Teddy

Teddy: I’ll make all your dreams come true, you know that

Nancy: Even the ones I don’t know about yet

Teddy: Even the ones you change your mind about & get upset at me for

Nancy: I need someone who knows me better than myself

Teddy: I want to

Nancy: Please, do it

Teddy: You’ve asked like that, I’ve been given no choice

Nancy: I told you I was going to trap you, you were warned if not given enough time to get out

Teddy: Trap me, do it

Teddy: please

Nancy: I swear 

Nancy: once I focus all my energy on you, you’ll love me more than she does, need me more

Teddy: I need that to be real, I so badly want all of your attention

Nancy: I can tell

Nancy: and I think I’d like giving it to you, you being special 

Teddy: Am I special?

Nancy: I don’t think I could say no at this point

Teddy: In that case, I’m happy again too

Nancy: You should be, I’ve never told anyone they’re special, not even as a blatant lie

Teddy: I can tell

Nancy: That I’m a cold bitch?

Nancy: Not sure it would be news to anyone 😏

Teddy: That even when you lie you’re careful with them 

Nancy: There’s nothing more awkward than a compulsive liar… the delusion is too much for me, I have SOME shame, like 😳

Teddy: I agree, it does quickly become embarrassing 

Nancy: It was very Chlo, when we were at school, it was entertaining at times but entirely irritating the rest

Nancy: That’s why I was like her ONLY friend, by the end

Teddy: The absence of her was vital for my heart to grow fonder, she’s an acquired taste certainly

Nancy: Oh, yeah, I’d forgotten you’re in love with her 🙄

Teddy: Ha ha

Teddy: there would be nothing more awkward than that cliche

Nancy: Yet more younger brother shame 💔 tragic

Teddy: She’s amusing, that’s all

Nancy: Of course

Teddy: Say it like you believe me

Nancy: 😉

Nancy: like you said, it’s a tired cliche, you can think of better

Teddy: Yeah & she’s looking tired 

Nancy: She hasn’t stopped partying since abandoning her children

Nancy: Do I have to promise not to sleep with your brother as well?

Teddy: I assumed it was a given you wouldn’t be interested considering he hasn’t partied since [whenever it was in terms of how long ago now]

Nancy: I’m not interested but it’s always been part of my plan to fuck over Ava since they got together

Teddy: & we intend to, therefore I’m not overly concerned you’ll also sleep with him

Nancy: Well okay, if you’re sure

Teddy: You’re making me feel unsure

Nancy: I’m just joking, you can sleep with Ava though, if you want

Teddy: She doesn’t want to or I already would have

Nancy: She’ll get bored, she was all in on that girl before this, nothing lasts with her

Teddy: She’s too serious for me, I’d get bored

Nancy: It’s just the easiest way to break people up, that’s all

Teddy: If she’s being stubborn & ruining our plan, I’ll reconsider

Nancy: 😌 Thanks

Teddy: I’ve done worse things as a last resort

Teddy: [tell her about some of your schemes that have gone wrong cos some of them must have especially when you were younger]

Nancy: You’d obviously be so lucky and THRILLED to get the chance, but that’s the point, she acts so perfect and above it all

Nancy: Good thing we’re in this together regardless because that doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence… 😅🫢

Teddy: Well, the fact I’m telling you my failures SHOULD fill you to the brim with confidence, I’m trusting you

Nancy: I know you like to kiss and tell

Nancy: but at least you’re not lying, that would be pointless

Teddy: So share with me something you aren’t proud of

Nancy: How long have you got?

Teddy: Technically, a full week until Grace returns

Nancy: That isn’t how I plan to spend it

Nancy: I’d say it’d be easier to tell you what I’m proud of but not really

Teddy: 🥺💔 I’m about to be so extremely proud of you none of that will matter at all

Nancy: That got depressing, sorry, think it was the [whatever substances you’ve mixed at this point] 

Nancy: gonna recalibrate 

Teddy: [again suggest something she should do] is going to save you

Nancy: Good idea

Nancy: that and thinking about you being proud of me should work 

Teddy: Because of the future I’ve promised you the past will simply cease to exist

Nancy: I’m not going to care how little impact I have in any of their lives if I’m the focus of yours, am I

Nancy: They all have it, I want it too

Teddy: You can have it all, darling, a big impact upon their lives & mine

Nancy: okay

Nancy: I’m doubting them, not you, I trust you now

Teddy: We won’t stop until you’re satisfied with what you’ve done to them, it’s as simple as that

Nancy: Yeah? 

Teddy: I have more stamina than my father across the board

Nancy: God, I love you

Nancy: Be here now

Teddy: Grace is going to wake up [however long from now the random 5am you always seem to wake up at after a night out] you heard me, I need MUCH longer than that

Nancy: 😿😿😿

Nancy: but

Teddy: We can’t

Teddy: but I’ll call you

Nancy: You can tell me how much I should remind her of when she wakes up

Teddy: [do call her and just be as feral as you can for as long as possible, we know the drill]

Nancy: [living your best lives as much as you can when you once again cockblocked]

Teddy: [do you wanna post this? It seems like a good stopping point?]

Nancy: [I shall moodam]

[sas-afras]

on a real note, i do truly understand the frustration as an artist to be told to just “draw more” when you feel frustrated and like you’re stuck in your development. yeah, time and experience DO help to an extent! your brain will unconsciously take in information over time, improving your observation and execution— but passively.

but what if you actually want to put in The Work?? what if you want to actively LEARN better art skills, but the only advice you get is to just wait for it to happen?? ive been on both sides of the equation before, and it’s infuriating— most people (unless they’ve taken higher level art classes) are never taught what goes into actually training their fundamentals, and have no idea how to pass on their knowledge once they’ve learned it.

so! to make up for years of “just draw more” advice, here’s a compilation of my personal favorite studies, tutorials, and hot tipz for artists! it covers things like composition, anatomy, color theory (shudder) and dynamic posing, along with a few other bits and bobs that i’ve found useful over the years.

please feel free to reblog with ur own additions 💖

Line-of-Action.com - a website dedicated to figure studies! it has thousands of pics in its library that get updated constantly, with a variety of body types. i prefer to work in studio mode (where the time between each picture starts out short and increases gradually) to do proper warmups.

Draw Better Hands Now by Marco Bucci - really and truly one of the best hand tutorials out there. he includes some simple exercises to improve hand anatomy that are SO vital, using them just once made me feel so much more confident!!

pixel art tutorials by pixelartjourney - tutorials on building shapes & color work! they were made originally for use with pixel art, but the ideas apply to other types of art as well.

maximum simplicity challenge by jakedontdraw (tiktok) - a challenge where you have to recreate a portrait in as few brush strokes as possible. SO helpful if you’re like me and have chronic overcomplicating disease, and the creator does a great job at explaining how and why he completes the challenge the way he does! i also very much recommend his video don’t draw noses, which goes into a similar topic in more detail :)

coolors.co - color theory is hard. there are Some basic rules, but most of it is just observation and repetition. see color combos you like, and recreate them until you get an instinctual sense of what looks good together. coolors.co is a super useful tool that auto-generates palettes for use in your art AND has a feature to pick out a palette from images! (i recommend using movie stills, especially from animated movies where each color is deliberately chosen)

composition study - i can’t remember where i originally saw this explained, so i’ll just write it here: while watching a tv show/movie, pause with every shot change and draw a thumbnail of what you see. spend as little time on each thumbnail as possible, only blocking out the important shapes. here’s some pics of when i did this exercise with the opening minute of baby driver:

Wally Wood’s 22 Panels That Always Work!! - self explanatory, useful reference for both sequential art and single illustrations

truly humiliating how the only way to improve at art is to LOOK at art and then…… MAKE IT????? 🤢🤢🤢🤢

[mcyt-peach]

Mcyt with a clingy s/o who loves kisses and hugs but like is super shy?? If that makes sense lol

mcyt with a clingy but shy s/o

⋆｡˚ including: cc!dream, cc!george, cc!sapnap, cc!karl, cc!quackity, cc!wilbur, cc!niki, cc!awesamdude, cc!punz and cc!foolish

⋆｡˚ warnings: reader uses they/them pronouns

⋆｡˚ note: ahhh this was such a cute idea I'm so glad you requested this I was totally blushing writing this, hope you enjoy it!!

Dream

you have hit the jackpot with this one

streaming without a face cam means you can plop down in his lap whenever you like

still, it doesn’t stop you from getting a bit shy, especially with Dream’s teasing nature

it doesn’t help that he’ll mention you’re with him 24/7

whether he’s just on call with some friends or streaming in front of thousands of people, he sneaks in comments here and there that make your face heat up

but it’s not like he’d let you leave, of course not

“Chat you should see them right now, all snuggled up against me. No no, where do you think you’re going, baby. You’re staying right here on my lap.”

George

he may not be the most touchy boyfriend, but there is nothing he loves more than a good cuddle sesh

he can never resist when you lay down on the couch and make grabby hands at him

but if he ever mentions it, you’re as embarrassed as could be

if we’re being honest, he enjoys making you flush just as much as he likes taking naps with you

you’ll 100% accidentally find out that his lock screen is a picture of you curled up against him in bed and he’ll never let you live it down

“Look at you, sound asleep on my shoulder, all snuggled up... I think you’re drooling a little.”

Sapnap

he definitely feels the same as you

he’s not always confident enough to make contact first, but he absolutely revels in the moments you’re together

after the first couple of dates, he finally musters up the courage to kiss you when he drops you off for the night

and to be quite frank, he wasn’t the only one blushing afterwards

he tries to act cool afterwards, but he’s grinning like an idiot

you’re not much better, doing the whole ‘run inside and slide down the door’ thing like you’re a movie star

he definitely texts you that night

“I think we should do that more often, honey. Even if you get all shy”

Karl

Karl is well known for his love of physical touch and you couldn’t be happier with it

but the trouble comes when he gets too bold with his love

one minute he’s having a chill stream, just talking to chat

and suddenly it’s chaos, because you’ve walked into the room and Karl finally has someone to shower in affection

he’s got his hands wrapped around you, holding you close, before he pulls back and plants a kiss right on your lips

“Karl you can’t just kiss me on stream!!!” “But you liked it :)” cue flustered silence from you

Quackity

not necessarily the type to be super outward with his feelings but adores your presence

so as long as you’re in the room with him, he’s happy

still, you just feel the need to be as close to him as possible

you’re watching a movie, nothing out of the ordinary for you two

what isn’t normal is you climbing on Q’s lap and wrapping your arms around his shoulders

when you do muster up the courage to lean back, he’s a blushing mess

which of course, makes you a mess as well

“W-what was that for. You can’t just jump on me out of nowhere. Ugh... I’m gonna melt.”

Wilbur

another one who loves when you get shy

in fact, he actively seeks it out because he thinks it’s adorable

never does it in front of chat though, he wants to be the only one who sees you all shy

first thing he does in the morning is draw you up against him and give you kisses all over your face

he’ll pull your face back with his hands and just wait to feel your cheeks heat up against his palms

he does that annoyingly cute laugh when you dive under the covers to escape him

“Ok, ok, no more hiding. Let me see that beautiful face of yours darling.”

Niki

Niki is very similar to you in the sense of clinginess, takes every opportunity to drape herself over you wherever you are

but the second the two of you realize just how sappy you’re being...

both of your faces are heating up, total tomato fest

she’ll get all blushy if you snuggle up next to her

you push through the embarrassment just to chase her around the room for kisses, to which she pleads for her cat’s help

“Noooo Zuko save meeeee! They’re going to smother me with kisses!”

Sam

this big teddy bear can’t deal with how bashful you get

of course, he still can’t deny you when you give him puppy dog eyes and ask for a kiss

this in turn gets him shy and suddenly you’re both giggling like high schoolers

loves cuddling with you at night because you’re too tired to deny him

buries his head in your shoulder because he can feel your whole body heat up

“You’re not gonna slip away in the middle of the night, are you honey? Nahhh, you like me too much to do that.”

Punz

omg this cocky mf would love to show you off, even if you get embarrassed

would full on make out with you on stream if you didn’t stop him

still, that doesn’t put an end to him flustering you in public

holding you hostage on his lap while on call with friends, sneaking kisses in public and always having a hand on you

he likes to call it “exposure therapy”, but it’s very obvious he just likes seeing you kiss drunk

“Babe, how are you ever gonna get over your shyness if we don’t do anything. Then again, you are pretty cute when you’re flustered.”

Foolish

he can not get over your blushy face

just breaks into a smile whenever he sees you get all flushed

doesn’t seem to understand why that makes you even more embarrassed, though

will 100% wrap you up in a blanket burrito so you can’t escape

sits you on his lap during a long stream, every once in a while, he gives you a kiss on top of your head

puts up a little sign on stream that says ‘cuddle time, don’t mention the burrito’ because he doesn’t want you to leave because of chat

“What? No chat, you can’t mention them! They’re gonna get all shy!”

[adventuresinobx]

The Chain

Drew Starkey x fem!reader

Summary: Drew and you decide to go out on a night out, and soon you’re straddling his lap and playing with the chain on his neck. Fair to say, he’s obsessed with that.

A/N: Ok this is my first Drew smut, I hope you like it! Inspired by @starkeyobx’s idea and because she’s OBSESSED with that gold rope chain he wears.

Warnings: Some sexual tension and some smut at the end 👀

“You ready yet babe?” Drew shouted from the sitting room. You had been dating him for six months or so but you’d never been able to visit him at work and thus had never got a chance to meet his friends.

It was a big deal for you and you desperately wanted to impress them all. Drew said the boys were like brothers for him and the girls were like sisters and whilst you’d spoke to Chase and Austin sometimes on FaceTime, you’d never actually met them in person.

“Coming, coming,” you shouted frantically from the bedroom where there were clothes strewn all around the room as you desperately decided what looked best to wear. It was so messy, but you’d clean it up later - you really didn’t have any time now.

“Ok baby,” he shouted back. He was wearing a vest with your favourite green jacket over it, which he teamed with a pair of black jeans. You felt you needed to match him, so decided on a green two piece which hugged your curves perfectly. It exposed a little bit of skin; Drew was a big fan of that and it made you feel confident, which was very important when you were going into a situation that made you feel terribly nervous.

You gave yourself another look in the mirror, checking you looked OK for the 100th time today, before making your way out to the living room. Drew was sat on his phone, a smile on his face. From where you were, you could see what he was looking at, pictures of you and him. It made you melt that he had a whole album dedicated to you both; that was super cute.

“Hey, ready,” you said from where you were standing. He immediately shoved his phone down on the sofa and turned around to where he heard the voice from. 

“Oh wow,” he said, looking you up and down and biting his lip. You smiled back at him, your hands smoothing over your clothes, which sent about 100 thoughts into his head. He was obsessed with you and the way you looked and he needed to get a closer look.

You started moving towards him before he had a chance to do the same to you. “What do you think then?” you asked, spinning around in front of him. He was stood in front of the sofa, his eyes fixed on yours except for those little glances he made to appreciate your body in that outfit. You looked - and felt - so confident.

“That’s -,” he paused for a moment, thinking what the best word to describe it would be. Beautiful, sexy, the nicest outfit you’d ever worn.

“It’s what?” you asked, a teasing tone to your voice as you came closer to him. You pressed your lips on his cheek, smiling into the kiss. “Tell me.”

“Beautiful,” he started, “And sexy. Really sexy.” His hands moved to your sides and he gripped there lightly. He moved his fingers over the sliver of bare skin on show and took a moment to explore the softness of your skin. His hand soon moved back to your waist and you felt him grip a little harder, his eyes scanning your body.

“You look good too,” you said, looking up through your eyelashes at him. God he was so cute - but that outfit was so sexy. You felt so turned on seeing him so dressed up. Most of the time he’d just chill in sweatpants or casual clothes so when he did dress up, he made extra effort and you had to confess - he looked good.

You moved your hands up his chest over the material, letting your fingers brush over him. You sorted out the collar on his jacket, his eyes flicking between yours and the moments your hands were making on him. He swallowed hard when your fingers brushed over his neck briefly, by “accident” of course.

“Have we got five minutes?” you asked, the tone in your voice making it very evident what you wanted. Speechless, he just nodded and you lightly pushed him, causing him to fall back on the sofa. You climbed onto him, straddling him gently and immediately taking the opportunity to grind down onto him. He breathed in deeply at the feeling, his hands moving to your sides as a way of steadying himself, and you.

You moved your hands up his chest and to his shoulders, pushing his jacket off him. You pressed your lips against his, tilting your head before you kissed down his neck and sucked on the sweet spot where there was still the remnants of an old mark you’d caused before.

“Feel good?” you asked him, hearing his breath hitch in his throat and little moans fall from his lips. He didn’t answer with words, only with a little groan. “You know what’s really sexy?” you said, thinking out loud, “This chain. When did you get it?”

He swallowed nervously, watching as your fingers made your way to his neck. You took the piece of jewellery in your hand and sighed as you felt the cool metal passing between your thumb and forefinger. He just watched on, mouth agape but his hands gripped tighter on your waist. “It’s really - hot,” you whispered, noting how he bit his lip as you played with the chain.

He usually always wore this fancy diamond looking one for his nights out, but you had a new favourite. The gold rope chain hung off his neck and perfectly matched the two rings he wore on his fingers. Something about this chain made you even more attracted to him. Not all men could pull of jewellery, but god he could.

You carefully glided your fingers over it and then lifted it a little so you could run your hands over his neck too. The sensation of the cool metal and the shivers coming from his body as you touched it like this made you push your hips down into his. A loud moan emitted from his mouth as he bucked his hips up to meet yours, his excitement clearly showing as you used one hand to reach down and palm him through his clothes.

“So good,” he said, his hands gripping hard on your hips as he rolled them up to meet yours again and again. It felt so good and you could feel the excitement building up for you too as you desperately tried to get some friction from him. It felt so good and the roughness of his grip was making you really wet.

“Take these off,” you moaned, tugging at the belt of his trousers, “And get these off me too.”

He wouldn’t need any more encouragement and soon there were clothes all over the floor and he had managed to flip you over so he was now on top of you, hovering over you as he reached down between your thighs.

He brushed his fingers over your clit a few times, spreading the wetness he’d caused all over your core so he could have an easier entrance. He rubbed your slit again, up and down a few times, before taking some of your wetness and rubbing it over his cock.

“Need you,” he moaned out, lining himself up and using his hand to control himself as he rubbed the tip over your clit a few times. You gasped at the feeling, desperate for it too and within moments he was pushing inside you.

He was slow at first, til he got in all the way. He paused for a moment, just savouring all of this and the way your walls tensed and pulsed around him. He’d do this forever if he could, and that was what he had planned to do.

“Please move,” you begged, reaching up to run your fingers over his chain and neck one more time. Without any moment of hesitation, he pulled out nearly all the way before pushing inside you. The rhythm started slow at first but soon he was thrusting into you at a fast but rhythmic speed. You couldn’t even control the moans that were coming from your mouth as you desperately pushed your hips up to take him in even further.

“Look so fucking good,” he groaned, “Taking my cock like that.” He wasn’t always like this but sometimes this more - dominating - side came out. He kept his thrusts up as he felt your walls clench around him. He knew it was only a matter of moments now.

You screamed out, grabbing onto whatever part of him you could as you rode out your high, him soon finishing too. His hot seed spurted inside you, coating your walls and making your clench your walls together, only adding to the sensation he was feeling.

“Good girl,” he said, slowing his thrusts down as you desperately clutched onto him. It all felt too good, it was too much and now suddenly the room returned to you and you realised just what had happened.

“I think we’re going to be late,” he laughed, climbing off you and looking at his watch to confirm the time was indeed past when you said you were going to meet the others. He grabbed some tissue from the side and cleaned himself off before taking a step towards the bathroom so he could get a wet cloth to help clean you up too. Before he could go too far, you called him back.

“Not a great first impression is it?” you joked, leaning up to kiss him on the lips, savouring the moment.

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[myriad-writings]

call me - e.m.

-eddie munson x reader

-2k words

-tattoo artist eddie. bff robin. that is all. thank you :)

-warnings: excessive sexual tension, also a really mid intro but that’s whatever. also once again, not an ounce of proofreading

“It’ll be so fun!” Robin urges you, sitting cross legged on your basement floor where the two of you were having a sleepover. “Please come with me, I think you’ll actually like it.”

You snort at her, “Super fast moving needles aren’t fun, Rob, they’re actually terrifying.” She groans and makes a dramatic show of falling backwards. She had been trying to convince you for the last hour to come get a tattoo with her. She’d been wanting to get one ever since she turned 18, and thought it would be a fun best friend activity for the two of you to get one together. You, on the other hand, were freaked out by the idea of tattoos. You didn’t have anything against people that had them or anything, and you actually thought they looked super cool on most people. But you didn’t want to find out how high your pain tolerance is the hard way. 

“You’re such a baby,” she pouts, and the expression looks so out of place on her that you have to laugh. “It doesn’t even have to be matching, you could get something super small!” 

“Oh my god, fine, I’ll go.” You surrender, and Robin immediately sits back up with a wide grin. “If it means you’ll stop pugging me about it. I’ll get like… a flower or something.” 

She blows a raspberry at your basic choice, and you throw a pillow at her face with a laugh. “I can help you come up with something more creative, don’t worry.” She assures you through giggles and you roll your eyes at her. 

“Whatever, asshole. Go to bed.” 

The next morning when Robin excitedly shakes you awake for breakfast, you remember your frustrated agreement to get a tattoo with her. And you knew that she wasn’t going to let you live it down.

-

“How are you so energetic this early in the morning?” You tease as she fixes her hair in the passenger mirror of your car. “I’m just excited that you came around. And don’t worry, I know this guy and he’s super cool. Well, not super cool but you won’t be nervous around him or anything. He’s chill and used to play D&D with the kids and he’s really nice.” Her rambling only stops when she takes a bobby pin out of her hair and holds it in her mouth for easy access, but then she’s back on her word vomit again, just slightly hindered by the pin  held between her teeth. “He actually might still play, I’ll have to ask Steve. He had this club and everything for it in high school, kind of a huge nerd and outcast. But he’s so nice, I swear.” She only stops when you pull into the parking lot of the tattoo parlor, and she’s grinning from ear to ear.

“What’s this guy’s name?” You ask, suddenly interested in an attempt to calm your nerves.“Eddie,” she answers easily while getting out of the car. “We met through a series of outlandish circumstances,” for once she doesn’t elaborate and just shuts the car door to punctuate her sentence. Here we go, you think to yourself.

The inside of the shop was actually a lot less intimidating than you pictured, and though it did very little to affect your nerves, you feel slightly more comfortable in the atmosphere than you imagined you would. There was some heavy metal record playing in the back of the room at a low volume, and each of the stalls was decorated to the individual artist’s taste. The exposed brick walls were lit with warm toned studio-esque light fixtures, and the hardwood floor was immaculately clean, which you took as a good sign considering the level of sterility needed for this sort of thing. 

While you were taking in your surroundings, Robin was at the front counter reconnecting with who you assumed must be Eddie, the friend she had told you about mere moments before. She saw that your attention had been diverted from the interior of the building and beckoned you closer. “This is Eddie,” she introduced with a knowing smirk. 

“Hey, Robin told me you were a little nervous.” The smile he gives you is so subtle, but it makes you lock your knees in fear of them going weak. You manage to offer him a small smile in return and collect your thoughts well enough to respond. 

“I’ve never done this before,” you explain, and the sound of his soft laugh makes your face heat up. You can tell he isn’t laughing at you, though, and his level of understanding is actually very soothing. His level of attractiveness is what’s causing you trouble now. Robin can tell what’s got you shifting in your place, and she clears her throat to call your attention away from Eddie with that same smirk from before. 

“Well you two have fun, I’ll see you on the other side,” she says in feign ominosity before going to one of the empty stalls that she was called to. 

You roll your eyes at her before turning your attention back to Eddie, who seemingly hasn’t taken his eyes off you. The thought makes you shy once again, and he says, “Let’s go, princess,” before leading you back to the furthest back area, right by the record player you spotted earlier. He notices you standing awkwardly by it. 

“Sorry, I can turn that down,” he offers and moves to adjust the volume dial without waiting for your response. 

“No, it’s okay, I just haven’t heard this song before,” you explain, and he flashes you one of those butterfly-inducing smiles again. 

“I get that a lot,” Eddie says simply before patting the leather bench in front of him. “Have a seat.” He turns his back to you and grabs a hair tie from the table in the corner, tying most of his curly hair in a low ponytail to get it out of the way. “So, what are we doing today?” 

You realize when he turns back around that you’ve been staring at him, and you blank for a second before stumbling over your words to answer him. “Um, I was going to get a, uh, rose. Like this big,” holding your fingers about three inches apart to demonstrate the size. You’re suddenly embarrassed at how generic it is, but Eddie just reaches for a binder and flips through it for a second before handing it to you at an open design. “Like that?” He questions, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. You examine the design before nodding. It was surprisingly delicate in comparison to the rest of his vibe, but the style fits the charming and sweet demeanor he’s shown you so far. It’s the exact size you showed him, with fine lines that you think wouldn’t take too long to sit for if it was too painful. “Yeah, this is perfect.” 

At your approval, Eddie nods and takes the binder back from you, sliding the design you both agreed on out of its page protector and tracing over it on a more transparent paper. You’re absolutely enamored with him and the way he moves, shrugging off his slightly worn demin jacket to have more freedom of mobility. The muscles in his forearms flex slightly as he sketches, bent over on his elbows to get a steady and precise outline. A few strands escape from his haphazardly done ponytail and fall around his face to frame it, prompting him to blow out the side of his mouth to get them out of the way. 

By the time he stands upright again, which is only about five minutes, you’re even more flustered than before. You make a resolve with yourself that you won’t stare anymore, instead focusing on the wall so you don’t come off as a creep. This resolve proves to be even harder than you thought, because the second you commit to it, he’s asking where you want the tattoo. You point to the front of your shoulder, a few inches above your bicep if your arm was fully relaxed by your side. Then he’s cleaning the area with a rubbing alcohol wipe and applying the template he had just sketched out, much like a temporary tattoo. 

The whole time, you’re holding your breath as his fingers graze your skin and leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. You glance back down at him, and see his tongue poking out from the side of his lips as he focuses, causing you to giggle. 

The sound catches his attention and his eyes snap back up at you before realizing what you’re laughing at, and chuckling out an apology. “Sorry, it’s an unconscious habit.”

You shake your head at him. “Don’t be sorry, it’s kinda cute.” Oh my god oh my god I just said he was cute, you think, but you’re comforted by the fact you can’t get any more flustered than you already are. However, seeing his eyes avoid yours as he clears his throat as his cheeks tint almost imperceptibly pink just proves you wrong.

He talks to you about what he’s doing when he preps the ink and everything else, but your brain is elsewhere as you watch his fingers move so deftly with the tools in front of him. Then, he looks back up at you to make sure you understand, and your eyes widen in panic for a second before scrambling to confirm that you heard him (which you didn’t). 

Eddie just gives you an amused chuckle before moving towards you to start the tattoo itself. “Just relax, let me know if it bothers you too much and I can stop. Okay?” You nod, actually hearing him this time and he sits down on the chair in front of the bench. 

As the needle buzzes, you squeeze the edge of the leather beneath you, but it isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. It’s like a sting, a continuous one, but it’s not something that’s unbearable. Eddie looks up at you through his lashes as he pauses to replenish the ink. “Doing okay up there?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just getting used to it.” You assure, though it comes out a bit breathless. He smiles at you anyways and tells you, “You’re doing great,” before continuing. Oh, he has to know what he’s doing at this point. 

The whole thing is over before you know it, and you’re actually kind of upset that you don’t get to sit this close to him anymore. Your skin feels like it’s on fire, but you’re not sure if it’s from his praise, his touch, or the needle itself. Could be a combination of all three, honestly. 

Eddie gives you the spiel on tattoo aftercare and hands you a sample size of the ointment he recommends for when it starts peeling and itching. “And it will itch,” he promises. “Don’t scratch at it, or else you might peel some of it off. Can you do that for me?” 

It takes everything in you to respond normally, nodding at him for what seems like the thousandth time in the past hour. “Yeah, sounds good.” He smiles and tells you that you’re all set, sending you on your way to the front of the building, where Robin is waiting for you. 

She’s grinning from ear to ear as she holds her wrist out to you to show you what she got. “Show me yours!” She asks excitedly with a little bounce in her step and you move your sleeve to the side to show off the rose. “How was it?” 

“Not bad at all, really,” you admit while walking out to the car. “You were right, he is super sweet.” 

She grins at you, “See, I told you.” You roll your eyes at her gloating as she continues speaking.  

You take the ointment out of your pocket to put in your bag, but then you catch sight of something written on the back. Robin’s words die mid-sentence as she watches you read, but you weren’t even listening. Taped on the back of the bottle is a piece of paper with Eddie’s number, and a smiley face. 

Robin watches your expression flush and a smile forces its way on your features and nudges you playfully. “Well, it looks like this tattoo won’t be your last.”

[erodasfishtacos]

ST. PAUL

Please like, comment, recommend, reblog, and come talk to me if you enjoyed the piece.

I write for free - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here. (plus my bday is coming up in a two days) 😌

warnings: smut, daddy kink, 18+

—

Harry loves being the center of attention.

It’s really no surprise at this point that he enjoys when tens of thousands of people are watching him perform.

He also secretly loves that people love his wife as well. He swore sometimes he thinks his wife is more popular than him during tour.

YN was didn’t come out from backstage to stand and watch the show right away like she usually did - she was working through some merch issues with Jeff.

Harry noticed that the fans were continuously looking back to where his wife would usually stand for the show.

Between one of the sets, Harry goes about ready some of the posters that fans have brought and he huffs out a faux affronted remark as he reads one out loud.

“I’m only here for your hot wife.”

He jokingly glares at the fan as the crowds laughs, “M’gonna have t’have a talk with security about these posters! Y’hitting on m’wife in front me! She’s not even out here, tough luck mate.”

Then he shimmies away as another song comes on.

A few minutes later, a sign pops up that says, “I want to taste YN’s watermelon sugar.”

Harry gives the person holding the sign a look of disbelief and shakes his head in disapproval at the poster before turning away.

“Should I text him?”

Harry reads from a fan’s board, he holds up his left hand and wriggles his ring finger that is donned in his wedding band, “Y’asking the wrong person, love. I’ve been locked down f’eleven years, don’t know much about the new age of dating!”

He goes on to say, “My only advice is if he’s playing games - don’t do it. Trash, trash, trash. Not for you.”

When YN finally arrives to her usual spot, everyone tries to get a glimpse from where they’re at. It was a thing, everyone wants to not only get a glimpse of Harry Styles’ wife but also her outfit.

There were hundreds of instagram accounts now dedicated to their matching tour outfits.

The short dress she was wearing was made of the same material and color as his shirt *** and she looked stunning as always.

The singer notices all of the attention dart to the side of the arena, where he also spots his beautiful wife smiling with Glenne as they go to their usual spot.

When She ends, Harry walks down the catwalk with a exaggerated pout on his face, giving his wife a pointed look, “I just want to remind everyone, this show’s about me! I’m quite the narcissist so I know m’wife is gorgeous but we’re here f’me!”

The crowd erupts in laughter and playful ‘boos’ as a dimply smile spreads on his face as he adjust his in-ears.

YN bites the inside of her lip, holding back her own giggles at her husband’s boyish antics before she joins along in the boos.

“Alright, alright, no booing me now,” Harry titters like the comedian he is, “Just remindin’ y’who this is all about. Me! But let’s give a round of applause to m’wife who deals with the narcissism on a daily basis!”

The arena does so, thousands of fans capturing their interaction on their phones for people to coo over later.

YN rolls her eyes, laughing at some Glenne says before and then Harry is starting his next song with a few glances over to her until they meet eyes and he blows her a kiss which she returns.

And then a poster pops up in the pit that Harry knows he has to snag - gets a brilliant idea so he asks the fan to pass it forward.

He props his mic back into its stand before turning the poster around and showing it to his wife on the side.

“Show us your tits, respectfully.”

YN flips him off with a giggle before teasing at the collar of her dress which makes Harry’s jaw drop dramatically and he gives her a surprised look before shaking his head. ***

“Don’t y’dare flash the goods! I’m just jokin’ around, this is a family show….” He pauses before prompting the crowd, “Or is it?”

As he performs Lights Up, YN steps forward to the barricade to call over one of the fan who is awestruck as she stumbles over to YN.

“Could I borrow your sign?” YN asks the fan - who was dressed in a sequined suit that looked amazing and she had to compliment her on that too.

“Uh…yeah. He-here,” The girl stutters nervously, passing over the posterboard with shaky hands at meeting YN.

She was sooooo pretty up close, smelled like chanel number five, and smiled warmly enough to make the fan feel comfort.

“Thanks, I’ll give it right back,” YN assures her, stepping back over to Glenne, they giggle together before YN holds it over her head.

“Choke Me Daddy.”

Harry spots it in a mere minute, reading it over and unable to hide the moody, dark expression that flashes across his face before he covers it up by looking elsewhere.

Just the reaction she wanted.

Harry stay away from that side of the stage for a little, YN knows it’s to prevent a very public boner from her behavior.

YN hands it back, agrees to take a few pictures with the girl and her friends before they go back to enjoy the concert.

-

The girl who lent her the sign goes on to make tiktoks about the meeting.

“She was super nice and giggly.”

“She let us take a ton of selfies.”

“When she held it up, Harry like instantly got pissed or turned on or something because he gave her this look and it was intense.”

“Harry was staring at her like the whole concert after she held up that sign.”

“It seemed like YN was purposefully ignoring his signals to make him even more annoyed.”

“Her ring was so pretty.”

“I couldn’t tell who was more attractive, Harry or YN, I think they’re literally the hottest couple alive.”

-

When the concert ends, Harry bolts off stage - waving and blowing kisses to his adoring fans before disappearing into the back.

YN is waiting patiently by the entry, where she usually was, her stomach was tight and bracing for her husband’s reaction.

She wanted to play.

They both knew it.

Hell, the whole arena had known she wanted it.

And to her absolute disappointment, Harry arrives back stage and pulls her into a tight hug. He pulls back gently to kiss her with his large palm cupping her face.

“Hi baby, m’exhuasted. I’ll shower at the hotel,” Harry rasps, peppering a few more soft kisses before intertwining their fingers.

YN has to hide her disappointment that it wasn’t Harry coming back stage, shoving her into his dressing room, and giving it to her hard for the sign she held up.

Nope, during the ride to the hotel, he was cuddly and like a puppy - whining until YN massaged his neck and allowed him to lay his head in her lap.

He doesn’t bring up the sign, just relaxes quietly until they get to the hotel and then just grabs her hand to lead her to their room.

YN tries to settle down the itchy arousal in her belly when Harry goes to shower.

She changes out of her dress into one of Harry’s shirts and goes about folding and organizing both of their suitcases.

After the shower stops, YN hears Harry moves around for a moment until he’s opening the bathroom door.

“Do you want to order room service? I’m star-“

She’s cut off when her husband’s hand reaches down and intertwines into her hair - gentle by firmly pulling her to stand by it and tugging her back into his hard chest.

“Harr-“

“I don’t think so, baby. I think s’daddy, yeah?” Harry hisses against the shell of her ear, “Do y’think I’d forget about y’holding up a sign that said choke me daddy?”

It’s easy for her to slip in a fuzzier, submissive state because she knows her husband will keep her safe and always take care of her.

“You showed that sign fir-“ YN begins to argue back but Harry pulls at her hair to silence her.

“Y’want t’argue or do you want t’be a good girl f’daddy?” Harry asks lowly, his voice threaten and void of any of his normal warmth, “I think ten is a good number, hm? Ten t’your arse?”

“But-“ YN loved to push him, she wanted those ten but she also liked to rile Harry up which was even better when he was adrenaline high from a show.

“Say ‘yes daddy’ or I’ll add five,” He warns, his voice had a delicious rasp from singing and he wraps his hand into her thong and rips it - making her yelp as the elastic snaps against her skin.

YN’s heart is pounding out of her chest, usually she was the one who took Harry by surprise - not the other way around.

Her skin was aching already from the brush burn of the fabric being torn from her sensitive skin, scalp pulsing from the tension on her hair.

“You were so obvious on stage, H. Once I held up that sign, your face gave everything away - that you’re so easy f’me - it’s embarrassing. I’ve been locked down for eleven years,” She imitates his accent in a bratty bite.

Harry snaps, nearly picking her up as he manhandles her over to the large hotel bed and she finds herself on her belly with Harry landing a hard slap to her right cheek.

“Y’think you’re s’fuckin’ cute? Don’t act like it doesn’t get y’soaked seeing all those fans cry f’me and I come home t’you,” He chuckles meanly, “And y’want to call me desperate? Look in the mirror, love.”

YN wriggles a bit but doesn’t have much time before the second and third hit with his rings still on - making it hurt even more.

“Count f’me, sweetheart,” Harry hums, thumbing open her cheeks to lean down and teasing lick her tighter entrance before letting go to land the fourth one.

“F-four,” She chokes out, feeling herself drip onto the sheets and her nipples tighten against the cotton fabric of the shirt she still has on.

“Four what.”

The air in the room is thick, humid as she mumbles against the pillows, “Four daddy.”

“Louder.”

“Four, s’four daddy,” YN moans, tacking on the fifth to her words when he lands on her left cheek and she can tell how sore she’ll be in the morning already.

“Gonna give me fifteen, baby? Or are y’done?” His voice is cautious, checking in to see where she’s at - if they add five more that means she really wants to play. If he stops at five, they both know that means she only wanted to be roughed up a little bit for the night.

“More, please.” YN gasps, shaking her bum in his face before it’s caught with the hardest hit yet and she yelps in a mixture of pleasure and pain.

After they reach fifteen, Harry is flipping her on her back and tugging her shirt off until her breasts spill out and he tugs roughly at a nipple.

“Daddy, please, please,” She whines, her thighs were damp and she was absolutely pulsating for his touch on her.

“I think I deserve an apology f’your behavior tonight,” He whispers against her puffy lips, his cock slipping against her mound lazily, “Desperate f’me even in front of tens of thousands of people. It’s quite cute, darling.”

“Fuck me, fuck me,” YN presses her lips to his eagerly, moaning when he slips between her folds and his tip bumps against her clit.

“Y’have no fuckin’ manners, pet. I think I’ve spoiled y’too much,” Harry admonishes with faux disappoint, pulling back until their centers aren’t touching and landing a smack to her mound.

Then he’s reaching down to thumb at her bud with a relentless pleasure but as soon as she starts to lift her hips into the feeling - he pulls away and tucks two fingers up inside her - repeats that quite a few times.

She felt like she was on fire, she needed him so badly that she wasn’t able to take much more of the teasing.

They usually played for longer, hours sometimes but on tour - it was hard to, both of them bone-tired and knowing they have to get up early and do it again tomorrow.

Harry knows his wife like the back of his hand, knows when she needs more and when she’s hit her limit for the night.

When he sees hot, fat tears spilling from the corner of her eyes, lips full and swollen, and she’s mewling, “Daddy.”

He knows she’s nearly at her limit, he slips inside her with no resistance and has to push for a moment because it feels that euphoric.

“Baby, fuck. Always feel s’fuckin’ good. This body was made f’me, yeah? S’addicitng, s’warm and tight,” Harry praises his wife, kissing her before tugging on her bottom lip with his teeth.

“S’for you, all of it. Ha-Daddy, I’m so close already, do it - c’mon,” She begs, legs wrapping around his narrow waist and pressing her heels into his bum.

They both know what she wants but he wants to hear her say it.

“C’mon, tell me. Say it and I’ll give it t’you,” He rumbles as he thrusts in with loud, smacking noises echoing through the room.

She blinks up at him with twinkling doe eyes, a small smirk on the side of her lips, as she says in a kittenish voice, “Choke me, daddy.”

And like that, his hand is collaring her throat and lightly pressing down until her breathe catches in her throat.

“Come f’me, m’desperate lil’ thing. All those people with those nasty signs and all I can think about it y’perfect cunt,” He murmurs in her ears, pressing just a bit more and then just like clockwork - she tenses and begins to come and he lightens his grip and releases when he follows soon after her.

-

👀👀👀👀👀