#and so here in the middle we have to see the isolation--see the horror of it--unvarnished

[scribefindegil]

*reads Literally Just A Summary Of The Events Of Separation Arc and starts foaming at the mouth*

[wylanzahn]

New-ish post, kinda posting this on different platforms and getting a general vibe check for some ideas I have. But basically this Halloween I want to actually do something for the TTRPG and Actualplay world (oh yeah I’m into those kinds of things). I want to try and get both players, GMs, and casual viewers alike something fun to look forward to this especially spooky season. I’ll probably talk a little more when we get closer to the actual season of scare-giving but just know that if you’re interested I’m still looking for people to join in!!

As my team and I’d first debut we’re going to try and do a two to four session actual play, which will probably be released in the weeks leading up to Halloween. We’ve had a couple good friend way in on the matter of “setting” but now I come to you fine folk. Mind you this is a horror campaign/arc so if…

Isn’t your thing, keep on a moving.

But without further ado here are a couple of the possible settings for our players, and myself, this coming espookee season…

1.) Somewhere off the coast of Florida, 1926 end of the first major housing boom in the state, a small island which calls back to the Spanish Empire, is Isla Boñyela, a small port made tourist location during the boom of disposable wealth in 1920s America. A small group of friends from the northeast tag along down for the perfect paradise vacation. Only to discover the island is much much older than anyone could have ever assumed. Whilst dealing with upstart gangsters, unnerving US soldiers, and the terrified locals they find something older than even undead conquistadors.

While I don’t have a working title, this is an old project in the running which I’ve had a few attempts at revamping over time. Its previous title was “perfect paradise vacation,” and runs on the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition game. Anywho it’s a blast of fun with Caribbean lore, tone of anti-imperialism, and something dark lurking beneath the waves.

2.) 1950’s America, the nonexistent state of Mid-Atlantia (DMV coded) in a small suburban neighborhood where nothing goes wrong… it’s almost “All-Hallows-Eve” and little Johnny and Susie want nothing more than to trick or treat this year with all the big kids, Dad’s finally getting the big promotion at work, and Mom just got a new waffle iron! Sure everything is neat here in America. Heck you just got new neighbors! Newlyweds in fact from somewhere big and fancy, they sure aren’t like any of us in our simple town. But… and you can’t say exactly why but things are different. Or perhaps they’re all too the same? Everyday a repeat of ever other bland day that followed you over and over and over and over… and you could swear, while no one may listen to you there’s someone out there. Stalking you from outside your own home- or- perhaps, he’s just your friendly new neighbor welcoming you… to the end.

Ahhhhhh! I’ve also been working on this one for a sec and god writing it out does excite me. This is also a Call of Cthulhu game but modified/homebrewed to have a uniquely 1950s horror feel. This is definitely one of the more unique games I’ve written and am truly interested in seeing where it goes (even if we don’t choose it). This is for those who feel like isolation, fear of the unknown, fear from within, and liminal space horror comes best into play! So whadya say neighbor?

3.) The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend, or How I Learned to Love Strahd, okay so this one is a lot less horror-y and falls much more under the comedic spooky category, just so yall know. Deep in the middle of Barovia, the ancient kingdom of Vampires, meets a council of Count Strahd von Zarovich's greatest commanders and lieutenants to hunt down Strahd's greatest enemy Rudolph van Richten and his party of heroes known as "The Grape-Smashers." Strahd's lieutenants have been gifted powers greater than any mere mortals, but are these gifts enough to stop Van Richten, or even enough to stop the personal ambitions of each other? Come find out in "How I Learned to Love Strahd."

Okay, as much as this may seem like a joke suggestion it cracks me up and I feel like it would be ill-advised of me to not at least mention it. In an era where "The Curse of Strahd," is well-overdone at this point, it's worth a take from an all evil "revenge story." Obviously this will be in Dungeons and Dragons 5th Edition, which, in my opinion, is really hard to use for horror, but this is a nice go-around. Come for the evil PCs, maybe a PvP battle or two, and a game of intrigue in the shadows of Barovia! All that and a buff Van Richten.

4.) Before Annapolis was ever called such it was known as Providence, a settlement of exiled Puritans in the Province of Maryland, but these early days were no easy set-up for the far-flung protestants... in the mid 1600s the English Civil War spilled out into their holdings across the waves as brother turned on brother, clan erasing clan, and something from the shores of the Old World would arrive in the New. When around every corner could be someone you've known your whole life, what's stopping them from hunting you in the depths of winter. All matters made worse when rumors of a witch begins circulating your small home.

Think "The VVitch" (2015) meets "A Field in England" (2013) meets Atun Shei's recent film "The Sudsbury Devil" (2023). It is the unexplored wilderness of early colonial Maryland, but the hateful warmongering that slowly builds that makes the horror and tension so clear. Unsure of what system we'll be using, but maybe the new Regency Cthulhu system.

5.) The Great Baltimore Fire of 1904 destroyed some 140 Acres of Baltimore proper... and in it's rubble awakened something far worse. But you and your fellow survivors are just trying to get by in the aftermath of the fire... only for something to call out, whether some strange magicks or perhaps just a sickness... but sickness doesn't even linger like this... it doesn't call to you...

Some more local history, aspiring from the actual Fire of 1904 things quickly devolve from there as rumors of a cult begin to spread along the streets of Rosland Park... a mysterious illness leaving even more dead... and the death of an eclectic professor. Definitely using the Call of Cthulhu 7th Edition for this one.

Aaaaaaaand that's it! Let me know what y'all think!

[airbendertendou]

you're so pretty it hurts ♡ arisu ryohei

synopsis ; arisu searches for usagi at a pool party, but finds an old friend instead.

content warnings ; alludes to sex / non-descriptive smut, sexual assault [and how it’s pushed away as jokes], virgin!reader, soft n sappy n sweet arisu ):

song inspo ; im yours by isabel larosa

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked.

—— ♧ ♡ ♢ ♤ ——

Ever since he lost Karube and Chota, he’d been thinking of you constantly. Parts of Arisu regretted dropping out of college — that was the only way he could see you, after all. But, it got too intense too quick ; got too overwhelming and crushing in all of the worst ways. Arisu missed seeing you and your sweet good mornings ; your attempts of helping him during class and the way you’d consistently invite him out.

“Arisu?” Usagi’s voice comes over the walkie-talkie in his hand. Static hits next and he’s officially back to reality — his new reality. “Do you see anyone?”

“A few people here have those bracelets on,” he replies. Each game they got closer and closer to whatever the Beach is. “They’re on the move! I’ll follow behind!”

Usagi and Arisu meet at a bridge, overlooking a lit-up hotel. Arisu breathes out heavily as he thinks of his fallen friends and what they couldn’t accomplish. We made it, Karube, he thinks. Thanks to you, we made it to the Beach.

And then he was hit over the head.

—— ♧ ♡ ♢ ♤ ——

You’re walking to the pool when you see someone familiar. He’s looking around anxiously, frantic and watchful in the same way he would be before a test. His hair is messy and damp, a bruise or two forming on his face. Yet, you still know who he is. His name leaves your mouth in a whisper as you stand completely still in the middle of the pulsing crowd. “...Arisu.”

“Ryohei. It’s Ryohei for you.”

With a grin — and in remembrance of what he’d told you years ago — you shout, “Ryohei!”

His head snaps to your direction immediately, surprise flickering across his battered face before he’s running to you. Arisu is panting as he stands in front of you, eyeing your disheveled appearance. His eyes linger on your swim shorts and how they seem a little tighter than necessary before he snaps his gaze away with a blush. “What are you doing here, [name]?”

“Same as you,” you shrug. Gently, you tug your old friend to a more isolated area, your hand dropping to hold his as the eyes around you vanish. “How are you doing, Arisu? Are you okay?”

He’s scowling immediately as his free hand pinches your nose, wiggling your head side to side while it’s in his hold. “You call me Ryohei.”

You hum, failing to hold your smile at his familiar antics. Arisu’s face drops with his free hand, smile soothing into something sadder. “You’re avoiding my questions, Ryohei.”

Smiling half-heartedly. Arisu looks away from you briefly with pursed lips. “I’ll tell you later. Right now, I’m looking for a… friend.”

Acquaintance felt more accurate to what he and Usagi were — game partners even more accurate. You raise an eyebrow teasingly and he’s quick to shove those thoughts out of your head. “Really — friends.”

Usagi is the one who finds him, walking up to both of you curiously while she zips her jacket up. Arisu moves to stand beside you, hands still locked as they sway between your bodies. “This is [name]! We knew each other in the other world. This is Usagi — we’ve been pairing up during games.”

You nod, smiling her way and watching her own hesitant smile break through. The two talk about things you don’t bother to listen to, grabbing a drink instead as you look for anyone you know. Making sure your friends — a loose term in this world —are still living is a vital part of your own survival. You need to know you aren’t going through this alone ; need to see the horror and pain stuck on someone else’s face.

A tug on your left hand brings you back to the duo as you sip on your drink. Arisu nods to a few empty seats with his chin before he leads you there. Usagi goes off on her own for more questioning, seeing who has theories and what they are. Arisu turns to you and just looks for a bit, taken aback by the lights that bounce off of your skin.

The thoughts that have been weighing you down recently pop back up. It’s no coincidence, either ; if you were talking about this with anyone, of course it’d be with Arisu. You gulp down the rest of your drink and turn to him abruptly. “Will you do me a favor?”

Arisu raises an eyebrow, watching as the smile on your face turns tense and wary. He scoots his chair closer to yours, leaning his head down so that you’re forced to meet his eyes. “Everything okay?”

“Being in this world…” your smile falters, tears building in your eyes. Arisu stiffens at the sight of how upset you are, grabbing both of your hands so that they’re clenched in his. “I’ve realized how many people take advantage of the prospect of no rules. My body is no longer mine ; my survival doesn’t only mean playing these games.”

The shaggy-haired boy gulps, his grip on your hands tightening slightly. “No one has…”

You let out a harsh laugh. You squeeze his hands briefly and drop your gaze to the ground. Slowly, you tell Arisu of the gazes that hit your body at every second ; you tell him of the harmless jokes and rancid laughter that echoes in your head when you can’t sleep. Arisu frowns when you describe the solidifying moment for you — that day you bent over and a group of guys stood behind you, shifting and moving against your body and laughing it off when you became upset.

“The militants aren’t the worst people here,” you say. Arisu has stayed silent, but his rage and disgust is building up terrifyingly fast. “Anyone and everyone can and will take advantage of me. And no one will help ; everyone just looks the other way when they hear screaming. So—”

Arisu tilts his head further downward and it makes you giggle. He grins at the sound, straightening up when you do. “So?”

“I’m scared I’ll be taken advantage of eventually ; scared someone will force me to be with them and hurt me when I say no.” Your fears are common, he thinks ; completely rational and it makes him sick that you have to think this way. Your next sentence is said after heaving in a deep, anxious breath. “I want you to have sex with me. I want you to be the first one I’m that intimate with.” 

The world pauses. Arisu stares at you, blinking a few times before spitting out, “right now?”

It makes you cackle — how shocked and casual he sounds. Your head is thrown back in joy, eyes closed and lips curled up fully. Arisu pauses, gaze softening as he watches you. A grin is still painted on your lips as you finally sober up, taking his breath away once again. “Not right now, no. We’ll know when the time is right… That’s how the saying goes, right?”

“Something like that,” Arisu gulps. Usagi re-joins the two of you and it takes longer than it should for him to pry his attention from you. It reels in his head — over and over and over — I want you to be the first one that I’m intimate with. 

Arisu shivers, suddenly feeling like every eye is on him.

—— ♧ ♡ ♢ ♤ ——

He doesn’t even remember how he got here. But, Arisu stands in the middle of yet another pool party, glowering at every swimsuit-clad person he sees. Usagi has made friends with a girl named Asahi ; she dragged you away to meet her new acquaintances and Arisu was left to himself.

Somehow, he’s able to hear your laughter over the music that’s pounding and his head swivels that way immediately. The lights at the Beach are bouncing off of your smile, shimmering over your skin and forming a halo over your entire body. His breathing stops — Arisu feels his tongue go dry just at the sight of you.

Before he knows it, Arisu has fought through the crowd and is standing in front of you. Pausing your dancing to glance at him curiously is what sets him off. Arisu is leaning in towards you, eyes fully closed and lips puckered — prepared to kiss the absolute life out of you.

“I’m losing my mind,” Arisu whispers against your lips. Your heart is racing as his fingers trail to your cheek, cupping it gently and running his thumb along your jaw. “It isn’t fair that you look this pretty in such an awful world. It isn’t fair that you are completely in control even after what you asked from me.”

You sigh, brushing your nose against his, “who says I’m in control, hm?”

You end up in your room, giggles swallowed by Arisu’s tongue. He’s frantic as he kisses you ; always keeping a hand on your face as you stumble around. The bed meets the bend of your knees as Arisu pushes you to it gently, panting against your cheek as he struggles to catch his breath. You turn your head for your own air and pause at the swinging door.

“Ryohei—” Arisu seemingly whines against your cheek at the sound of his name. You giggle again, not resisting the urge you have to pepper his face in kisses. “Silly. What do we do about the door?”

“Door…?” It’s then that he remembers a rule about the Beach — no privacy. Arisu sighs, closing his eyes and sitting up. You follow suit, biting your bottom lip as you look around your scarce room for something to keep the door shut. His eyes drift to a pile of torn and bloodied clothes on the floor, lighting up with an idea. He points to the cloth with a grin, “do you need those?”

A half-hearted ‘rope’ is made with the clothing, tied from the door handle of the bathroom to the main door. Arisu stands triumphant, a smug smile on his face as he holds his fists on his hips. He turns to you, cheeks heating as he sees how swollen your lips are ; how out of breath from his kisses you still seem to be.

“I’m not that experienced,” Arisu finds himself saying. He scratches the back of his head sheepishly, sitting on the bed so he doesn’t have to face you. “With— things. You can ask someone else if you want.”

You’re shaking your head before he can finish his sentence. Sitting beside him, you hold his left hand with your right, squeezing it briefly. “I chose to ask you because I trust you, Ryohei. You make me feel safe.”

Arisu is tearing up before he can stop himself, sniffling as he smiles down at the floor. You’re pushed back softly as he hovers over you, a bright grin broadcasted just for you. A kiss to your left eye, then right ; one to your nose before they’re bridged to your cheeks. And a final, promising kiss to your lips.

“Okay,” he breathes, “okay. I’ve got you.”

—— ♧ ♡ ♢ ♤ ——

idk what this is lmao came to me in the middle of the night so, ♡ my forever taglist : @straysugzhpe​ <3 @star2fishmeg​ <3 if you’d like to b tagged / untagged let me know!! airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

[johannestevans]

My Top 6 Films of 2023

Just some recommendations for my favourite new releases of last year!

Originally published on Cinemania.

2023 had a few knock-out hits as far as the cinema goes — obviously, people were very excited about the respective releases of Barbie and Oppenheimer, but my top films of the year were a bit different.

One thing I do think unites a lot of these — and a trend I hope to see from more films in the next few years — is a trend toward more earnestness and sincerity in scripts and plot lines, and I’m hoping that trend continues!

Without further ado, my top films of 2023:

They Cloned Tyrone (dir. Juel Taylor)

They Cloned Tyrone is a fucking triumph, and hands-down had my favourite costume design of the year — it at the same time feels very vintage in places, calling heavily on the Blaxploitation movies of the 1970s and their aesthetics while at the same time dragging in more modern— and dystopian — futuristic elements throughout. Teyonah Parris is a particular triumph as Yo-Yo, but the whole cast really rocks this whole flick.

This film feels in so many ways like a fever dream, layering disparate elements and tones, and for that is all the more hard-hitting with the horror and painful realism of its cynical central plot.

If you watch a single of the films recommended on this list, make it this one.

Down Low (dir. Rightor Doyle)

This film is weird as fuck, and it makes a lot out of leaning into that. Delving into the ugly reality of down-low hook-ups on gay dating apps and dialing the chaos that can arise from them up to the max, this is a surprisingly heartfelt look at gay loneliness and isolation in the white middle-class US.

It’s fast-paced and kooky with its dialogue — Lukas Gage, of Euphoria fame, co-wrote the script with Phoebe Fisher, and Gage’s particular style of verbose and down-right weird speeches are dotted through it — and while it ultimately ends in the death you know from the beginning is coming, it doesn’t feel like it’s wholly a tragedy.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (2023, dir. John Francis Daley & Jonathan Goldstein)

I don’t think I need to go into great detail about this one — Dungeons and Dragons’ newest addition to its array of canons here is a spellbinding and delightful watch. A lot of the problem with fantasy films and TV shows the past few years has been how painfully over-ironic they are, with none of them being able to just lean into their premise and accept that, yes, we’re being a bit silly, and that’s the point! But the DnD movie is just spectacularly earnest and gives itself entirely over to the wonder of its world, and that feels wonderful.

Every time I’ve watched it, which is a few times now, I’ve picked up on new fun world details or little in-jokes, and there are just so many things this film does right and has fun with, most of all making Xenk Yendar even more autistic than ever whilst also making him hot with the Regé-Jean Page casting.

And also, Hugh Grant is here playing a horrible, sleazy bastard of a wizard, and speaking of hot —

Cocaine Bear (dir. Elizabeth Banks)

Must a film be good?

Firstly, isn’t a coked-up horny female bear wreaking havoc and ripping people to shreds enough? And also, even if it wasn’t enough, aren’t so many queer characters going through the weirdest day out ever, girlbosses galore (I’m including the bear), funny as Hell dialogue, and even plot twists enough?

We saw this in the cinema on its release, and it was utterly glorious. Everyone should have the pleasure of seeing the feminist icon of 2023, the cocaine bear (sorry, Barbie), on the biggest screen imaginable, ripping into some hapless gay with full surround sound.

The Boogeyman (dir. Rob Savage)

I normally run along to see any new releases from Rob Savage as I loved Host, and The Boogeyman was so much more than I expected — bearing no resemblance at all to the original lacklustre Stephen King short story, this film really plays so creatively with light and shadow and has an honestly spine-tingling monster design that feels viscerally frightening from its introduction to its final boss battle.

I love it when a film plays with light sources, most of all when good horror does it, and this flick really delivers on that point — not knowing where light is going to come from adds extra tension when you’re trying to see into the shadowy corners, and whether it’s from the lunar nightlight, the videogame flashes, the camera, the fridge, or anywhere else, this film really has this holistic approach to light and shadow that just fucks.

The Pope’s Exorcist (dir. Julius Avery)

Again, must a film be good?

Isn’t it enough to have a coked-up bear —

Okay, I used that line already, but this time it’s Russell Crowe, and he’s doing an Italian accent, and he’s riding a little Vespa, and it’s the funniest and best thing in the world.

Much like the DnD movie, The Pope’s Exorcist really leans into its premise and just goes really earnest about it — it doesn’t take too much time to sardonically comment on the ridiculousness of its own universe, and that makes it feel really fresh compared to a lot of other big studio horror films. It’s silly and stupid and mixes more impressive scares in with the cheap ones, and it’s just a really fun movie to watch with friends.

[whenua-and-moana]

Banaba

How the West Made an Island Unhabitable (and Consumed its People's Bones)

Banaba, aka Ocean Island, is a small island in Micronesia. It's legally part of Kiribati [kih-rih-bas] but geographically, culturally, and politically very distinct. At three hundred kilometres from its nearest neighbour, Banaba is one of the most isolated places on earth.

It is also among one of the most ecologically devastated.

In the 1900's, a UK / Aotearoa / Australian owned mining company dug up and shipped away huge amounts of Banaba's phosphate-rich soil for use as fertilizer. They grew rich and created Aotearoa's massive agricultural industry from literal stolen land.

More than just the physical earth was taken. Phosphate mining stripped the layers where Banabans had buried their dead for thousands of years. The dust of their bones fed the lands of the West, creating rich green fields that Banabans would never see the profits of.

When I say 'huge amounts' of earth; 90% of the island's surface was stripped away.

[Left image: an aerial view of Banaba showing a roughly oval island with no vegetation in the centre. The outside is ringed by a thin strip of forest. Right image: a photo of the edge of a mining area. In the background is a forest, but then the ground drops off sharply into irregular rocky terrain.]

The ancient sacred caves were destroyed. The island's only source of fresh water was irreversibly polluted and left it unusable to this day. The interior of Banaba became one great hollow of uneven rock, so full of dips and pillars that it is now almost completely impassable on foot. It was left a barren land.

Banaba is not the only Pacific island devastated by phosphate mining; most notably, its neighbour Nauru had 80% of its surface stripped away. But nowhere has been exploited to quite the same extent as Banaba.

There were further indignities and horrors inflicted on the Banaban people, including indescribable atrocities carried out by Japanese occupiers during WWII, and tbe Britain-led forceful relocation of Banabans to Rabi Island in Fiji. Many still live there today. Others have migrated away.

[Image: Banaban girls performing a traditional dance on Rabi Island.]

The traumatic experiences of Banabans, the mass murders and the separation from their ancestral land have all caused significant cultural loss. This includes the loss of the Banaban language.

Approximately three hundred Banabans have returned to their home island, surviving due to supplies shipped in every few months. The only freshwater source remains unusable and severe droughts strike Banaba every three to four years. Although a desalination plant exists there, the vulnerability of the island became all too clear in 2021 when the plant broke down in the middle of a drought. It took three months for repair equipment to arrive. During that time the residents had no fresh water. Their only food was fish because all of their crops had died. They survived by sucking the liquid from fish eyeballs.

And an Australian mining company wants to do it all again.

Part of the reason that people returned to Banaba, despite the difficulties of life there, was to protect it from further mining. But in August last year, the Australian mining company Centrex announced a plan to restart phosphate mining on Banaba. The plan has been paused due to protests from the Banaban people, but it could be restarted again at any time.

We cannot leave it here. If you want to do one small thing to help, you can sign this petition from Banaban community leaders to stop the proposed new phosphate mine. But more than that, Banabans have been campaigning for Australia and Aotearoa to fund ecological restoration projects, especially for the sacred caves that were once the island's source of fresh water. As Katerina Teiawa says:

"We need to move away from this same continuous narrative of ‘the poor Banaban people, who have no water, help them’ and move towards an approach that is actually finding a solution.

This whole thing is a series of crises. We can’t just keep telling the story of devastation and vulnerability over and over again. Where does the crisis end, if not with justice?"

[rainbow-femme]

When it comes to horror movies I’ve never really liked the ones that are “serial killer(s) pick a random house to torture the people inside” because I need a horror movie with a villain I can really get into and I just am not into the “oh we do it just for fun” villains

However, I do want a movie where you have a group of people doing that, going up to a house in the middle of nowhere that they found. No internet coverage, no cell coverage, totally isolated

Except the reason the family is out there is they’re doomsday preppers who have basically created their entire home for them to be able to fight off unwanted intruders

You got weapons hidden absolutely everywhere, secret tunnels and passageways, booby traps in the house. Because then I can watch the annoying trope I don’t like get turned around into a “I’m not stuck in here with you, you’re stuck in here with me” but with absolutely wild people who are weird as hell because they haven’t socialized in years and have only been practicing doomsday prepper versions of survival

“Don’t Breathe” did it a little with the concept of breaking into the wrong house, but the people breaking in are still the protagonists and they were only there to steal and it’s revealed at the end that he’s bad and so deserved it

And “The Purge” a bit with the houses designed for people to kill invaders but I don’t want to see rich people vs rich people in a mansion, I want that secluded farm house where you have nothing but field and trees for miles and I want Cousin Eddie from the National Lampoon movies and his wife and kids absolutely blasting these people who thought they were so badass and now are being picked off by a 12 year old with a 12 gauge shotgun

So yeah take bits from those two movies and mix it with “Tucker and Dale vs Evil”

[being-of-rain]

73 Yards is an episode of Doctor Who. Kinda.

They just put a little horror movie in the middle of the season! And I enjoyed it! I think a big reason I'm really enjoying this season is that it's taking some big swings, trying some unique stuff. Of course I wish we had 13 episodes, but I'd rather 8 episodes that get experimental with it than a hundred by-the-numbers stories (Sorry Nick Briggs). (Sorry for the drive-by at Nick Briggs, it's just hard to resist sometimes).

This episode certainly took advantage of the supernatural available to it, as I hoped this season would. And by playing into the rules of horror (and Doctor Who is allowed to be any genre it wants,) it left a lot up to interpretation, which was very interesting and had my girlfriend and I discussing it for a while after it ended. I thought it was drawing some connection between ancient curses and right-wing politics, which is fair. And watching Ruby weaponise her ancient Welsh curse to make the prime minister resign was very funny and satisfying. I think I saw people somewhere talk about how a common thread through a lot of the situations and horrors was isolation and ostracism, which is a thread I want to pull on next time I watch it. Which might not be soon, because (as I might expect from RTD,) this was a bit bleak for me to be a common rewatch. But I love seeing people's various theories on the episode, keep 'em coming.

As for Ruby... I hate to say it, but I don't think this episode really endeared her to me more than any other. She's still a great performance by Millie Gibson (the youngest-looking 40 year old on the planet, bless this show,) and she's still a very capable protagonist. But personally, I'm just not getting anything more interesting than that from her. I'm glad the show so far hasn't been putting a crazy amount of stress on the fact she's adopted, but it hasn't given her any issues to replace that. I've seen people read some interesting stuff into her after this episode, but I didn't get any of it from the episode itself. I didn't even really know what she was thinking while she was growing old alone; you can assume 'sad,' but the episode didn't pause to give me anything more than assumptions. I should move on instead of saying this every episode, but I was hoping this ep would change my mind. Maybe she's one of the rare companions I just won't really click with. Or maybe, like Ryan, she'll become my favourite just before she leaves. Then again, aren't we getting a second companion next season? I'd love a new dynamic.

What else? Kate! She was a pleasant surprise, being as helpful as ever (sorry Kate) and making this her 10th episode! Which feels weird to say about a character who's had like 48 episodes of her own spin-off audio show. Oh but you know what else is weird to say? Kate's line "I think this timeline might be suspended along your event." What are you talking about Kate?? How would you even know that?! I assume the line's there to future-proof the episode against later Dr Who plots interfering with this one, but since when does Dr Who care about that. The line feels so out-of-place and meta (as well as kind of spoiling the ending by immediately making me think 'oh so this whole timeline is going to get undone then,') that I think they shouldn't have bothered.

Anything else to say? It felt a little weird that the episode takes a stand against the stereotype of rural Welsh people being isolated and insular by having a bunch of rural Welsh people be cruel to a nice person just because she's an outsider. Oh and they acknowledged Susan Twist's appearance in each episode then, I'm curious what that will turn into.

Speaking of season mysteries, I keep seeing the fan-theory 'they're in a TV show' turn up everywhere online. Which is a cool idea that Dr Who could pull off, but I've yet to see a single piece of convincing evidence for it. Keep coming up with bizarre and unsupported theories Who fans, don't ever change.

Oh and here's a really niche and petty complaint! I wish the show would stop using the phrase 'perception filter'. I think when it was first used, in series 3 I think, it was about something relatively specific, technology that Time Lords use to make something not draw attention (unless attention is drawn to it). But since then the phrase has been rolled out for shape-changing, invisibility, natural abilities as well as technology by any species under the suns, it can affect your memories, and hey now magic Welsh curses use it too. Personally, I think it's lost all meaning and feels a lot more like cheap and lazy writing than worldbuilding.

Okay! Those thoughts turned into me saying I loved the episode then listed a bunch of very petty complaints. But I did love it! More magic please. Maybe slightly happier one.

I'm not sure there's anything in the second half of this season I'm really hyped for, but after enjoying the first half a lot, I'm curious what'll turn up!

[brick-van-dyke]

Also, okay. This is going to be a bit, or VERY, controversial right now and maybe it's a bit much to think about in light of the dread many are feeling...

And yet, there's so much power in understanding how to become fearless in the face of persecution. It's something we're all capable of, but something we don't realise when we're isolated (and I don't simply mean socially, but in terms of having a solid community that will literally and physically protect you).

So, here's a story for all of you of how I became unafraid and how, I hope, you may find a way to break through this dread like I did.

Look. As a transgender person in the middle of transition, who saw the Florida genocide, and yes they were laws constituting a genocide in he eyes of international law towards transgender people in that state and that led to immense violence towards us, all while Biden was in? I... personally just began to feel numb towards every politician or anyone else anymore because they all very evidently wanted/ want us dead. Maybe this comes from a place of ignorance as an Australian queer who doesn't fully comprehend the nuances of state powers versus the president's ability to prevent genocides within their own country, or who has seen the worsening of how we're treated both here and in the US by those who pretend to be our allies only to turn around and support bills aimed at eradicating us. Yet, regardless, I just can't move past this block where I just no longer can only fear Trump, because Biden already made me fear him and every single other politician because we have been dying this whole fucking time over and over and over while people forgot our names the minute they stopped trending. I became so tired by the mass persecution trans people have been facing for so long that I couldn't only feel dread for Trump, because I continued beyond him and people forgot that we were dying before him. I'm numb and only have the desire to rebel against the whole damn system. It's only pushed me further and further into realising I want to eradicate any ability for any people like this to be able to enforce these laws and do nothing in he face of the violence we face every single day. And, more than anything right now, I just cannot fathom how it is possible to see all those years upon years of bigotry, both before and after Trump, and see democrats as allies. All the while they are not only physically endorsing Trump's policies in the context of law, but have had the audacity to claim they don't do so and believe the opposite on camera. It infuriates me and I think it's important to recognise the exhaustion of trans people amidst all of this while we think about the genuine threat of Trump, yet forget the horrors of every other politician who will still enforce Trump's policies while denying they do.

I just can't be scared of Trump alone and hold any hope in other politicians anymore because my greatest fear of "seeing yet another genocide of queer people" was realised over and over after 2020 Biden was in and I now have to acknowledge that, no, democrats are very okay with not intervening in or preventing a genocide against people like me, if not even actively agreeing with it while crying crocodile ears, saying they care so much and morn is while they vote against us in the senate and in state elections. Within that realisation, there was this dread; the understanding that it actually will be the same result for us in the end no matter what a politician says because they'll endorse the other side behind the scenes and that is scary. I spent a long time from 2020 onwards being afraid because the policies Trump introduced in 2016 were not fixed, because I kept seeing that apathy from the democrats as worse and worse policies continued to be implemented even though Trump as supposed to be fine; because I felt nothing changed when Biden was in at all. And this was all even before Florida, though that was the final nail in the coffin where I completely realised how much democrats will actively support our demise and then swear up and down they Won't do that while actively doing that in pratice.

And, now, seeing the imperialist genocide in Palestine and Palestinians internationally having this same dread as me of realising they, too, are the price democrats are willing to pay while dealing on the same stage of people like Trump... Yeah, that shit hurts. But you know what else I learnt in that? The people who suffer the same prosecution from the nation(s) that oppress you will have your back; that community can be something that destroys fascism. Our shared existence has power, one I didn't have in 2016, 2020 or 2023 when people like me dying in the news was just, y'know, the news again and everyone would forget the names of the trans women lynched. Because I know how little trans people mattered to those in power when I was alone, but when I found other people willing to create that change with us? To fight alongside us and protect us? It changed things. I stopped feeling afraid.

I began to speak with indigenous rights advocates in Australia and the US, an I realised I was not alone in feeling like every single politician would sign our death warrant for the right price. I found a community that, irrespective of who was in and what happened in policy, would always protest and, if need be, physically protect me from those policies being enacted. I realised I wasn't alone.

The start may begin with a dress so deep that you feel all motivation to live leave you. But when you realise how many are willing to battle, tooth, nail, pepper spray and all to defend you and keep you safe? When you form those communities where you know you will be protected and you meet people you would rather die than not protect? When you see people from every walk of life fight against the same thing for the sake of all of us? You learn confidence in that and you find the dread ceases. In its place, you feel a warm, burning hope that won't leave until you and this like and unlike yourself are free from all persecution.

[laneaconite]

To my Lovely Onlookers: an Introduction!

For higher resolution images, look here

Hello, my name is Lane! I've been known to call myself a jack of all trades, but my heart's been set on authorship since the tender age of two.

Now, while my lifespan development textbooks like to call that premature identity foreclosure, I call it a dream. I'm creating this blog to archive my past and future works. What can initially be expected is a lot of poetry as well as some short prose pieces. The goal has always been to eventually work up to brick-length novels, but lately all I've got is poems pouring out of my ears. I'm composing them in my sleep. A lot of what I've written so far is about chronic pain, sapphism, transitional experiences, childhood, and trauma. Not every poem or prose piece is meant to be taken as a literal reflection of something that happened to me, but a lot of what I've written over the last few years have been in order to process my experiences. I find that I communicate best in rhetorical devices than in ordinary speech. This is extra funny (an inside joke to myself) because I spent the first fourteen years of my life as a self-declared poetry hater, despite my life long declaration of wanting to write. There were several things that caused me to reevaluate this stance, the primary three being: 1) If I didn't graduate high school I was never getting out of that horribly isolated, middle of nowhere town. 2) Writing was the only thing I knew I could be passionate about both in a personally fulfilling way, but also in a work way. Now, the only way I could successfully do that would be by forcing myself to engage with the entire other half of it I'd convinced myself I hated out of inadequate education. 3) Reading Maya Angelou's book, Poems (1981). We were given a large analysis project of one poet's whole collected works (or the closest edition we could find) and I chose Angelou because I remembered an excerpt from I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings (1969) being read aloud to my 7th grade class. It was her rhythm, rhetorical depth, and her humor that reformed my entire approach to the genre. I can't thank her enough.

"So," one might be asking, "Where does The Peach With Teeth fit into this, though?" And ohohohoh! The Peach With Teeth is several things. Primarily, I spent five months painstakingly embroidering it to be the cover of a hand-bound poetry chapbook. At this point, however, I'm thinking more of a compendium for the amount of poems I have, and for how many I'll write before I learn how to book bind. So, in that meantime the Peach is the cover of this blog.

The Peach is also a poem that I wrote in September of 2022, which is included below. That peach was deprived of teeth, tongue, and uvula, but had a more grounded horror within.

The Peach

I rinse the fuzz off, gently In the sink. The skin is a sunset of yellow, Magenta, pink. The first bite is honey sweet, The flesh slippery, My teeth peel away the skin I eat.

A bitter taste begins in my periphery And I see brown spreading around, Like a core. The tender sweet flesh peels away From its darkened sore.

Disgust rises in my body but I persist I eat the dripping good parts, I eat until the bad parts come too And they come veined with blue The pit itself, peeled back Is dusted with mold.

The poem is both a literal thing that happened—I did eat a moldy peach even though I saw an off patch on its skin and I could have stopped—also a metaphor. It's about seeing the signs that this won't end well, but needing another bite of sweetness to satiate that ache. It's about overconfidence and ignoring one's instincts. After a long while of hunger, the bitterness gets easier to ignore. That Peach and the Peach With Teeth, and many other Peaches can be expected to appear in my work. It's not my fault, I swear: my family had a peach tree in the backyard growing up. And if you, my darling reader, haven't tasted a sun-warmed peach right off the branch in late summer: I'm so sorry. The ones in the grocery store just don't compare when they're picked early to be shipped across country and thusly chemically ripened. They never get so thoroughly sweet through injected ethylene as by sunlight. It's only the skin that turns pink and softens, with the inside remaining hard, crisp, off-yellow. That these peaches are the only kind I can eat now, meaning I don't eat peaches, are part of what informed the teeth. Finally, the Peach With Teeth and her cousin The Peach poem have to be acknowledged for their sensual, even sexual, elements. 7/10 friends who I have shown The Peach With Teeth to have said "that looks like a vulva." Now, this was utterly unintentional, but when all your pretty queer friends say it enough times, you start to give up examine the metaphor closer. It's been said often that peaches and this girl right here 🍑 are used as euphemisms for the vulva/vagina. Now, when people are reduced to just their genitals, that's objectification. Not to say that the euphemism always is, as I can imagine some sappy sapphic love note tucked to sleep on a shelf somewhere. When I designed my embroidery pattern, I chose teeth for a core because of the utter contrast between the soft sweet flesh and the hard bone-bite of a chipped tooth. I was imagining it biting back and drawing blood. This is where my accident, the final image reading far more sensually than originally planned, synthesizes the ideas that have been rolling around in my head this whole time. It's about visceral misperception, of leaning to close to the lantern's gentle glow only for the grinning monster holding it to bite your head clean off. It becomes a euphemism flipped on its head: no more soft, sweet, hairless, harmless peaches. What we've got are teeth and tongues, a jaw unhinged but ready to snap right down at any time. Now, of course, to many of my 7/10 friends, this is still sexy.

[oyasumi-ashurii]

Okay, so it might be a little hard for me to cohesively put all my thoughts and feelings into why I care so much about Final Fantasy VIII, but because of the 25th anniversary and seeing a lot of you talk about your love of the game I'll try the best I can. So here's my embarrassingly and extremely long personal history with the game and why it will always be my favorite.

Before FF8 I was mostly a Nintendo kid. Mario and Zelda were all I really knew, and as a hyperactive as I was I didn't really have the patience for anything story-heavy that took a lot of reading. Though I did I get a PlayStation later on I hardly bothered with anything other than Spyro or Crash. Anything similar in graphics to FF7 or 8 was mostly foreign to me too, with maybe the closest being my cousin having the first Resident Evil and I was far too young and too scared to bother with anything like that. So you can imagine the complete and utter shock kid me had going to my uncle's and seeing him play FF8 for the first time. I don't think it had been out too long but he was already on disc 3 in Esthar and, bless his soul, he let me play his save for a while. Being able to fly around the map on the Ragnarok?? The realistic proportions and animations in battle?? The absolute BANGER of a soundtrack?! All of it had me excitedly begging my parents to buy me the game. Nine year old me didn't know roman numerals, though, just that it was called Final Fantasy with some weird lettering. I had no idea of Final Fantasy as a series and I didn't know it was the eighth game or that there were eight of them at all. I couldn't remember what the cover looked like either and my uncle not long after that was going through his own personal troubles so I wasn't able to visit or ask him. We didn't have internet at home until the early 2000s (it was AOL dial-up too, jesus, I don't miss that) and my parents were strict about internet use, so I was stuck. My dad did eventually buy me an FF game as a surprise when I was eleven, and lmao can you believe I was genuinely upset because it was Final Fantasy VII?! That being said, I have an INSANE amount of love and respect for 7. Considering how much easier I think the materia system is to understand for newcomers, having it as my first, full FF experience was a bit of a blessing lol. FF7 hit me in a different way than 8 did, and maybe I'll make a post about it sometime.

So other than the brief times on the internet (I was only allowed on for an hour or two before I was kicked off) and reading gaming magazines I had hardly any access or knowledge about FF8 until years later. I knew the characters briefly and read some small stuff here and there about the world, but that was it. Even so, I STILL loved it. I would draw them (I've drawn most of my life, and I still do occasionally as a fun hobby), write about what I thought they were like, so, so much of me embarrassingly obsessing over it and driving my small group of friends in school bonkers (oh lordy I just remembered my preteen username I had used on an FF forum and now I'm cringing.) You get it. So why did I cling to the game so much, even though I barely played it? Why did it mean so much to me? Because around the time I was twelve I was deeply depressed, and throughout my middle school and early high school life video games and their stories were the only joy and comfort I had. I'm not going to go into much detail because it feels too personal to write on tumblr about and I'd rather not think back too much. If you want the gist it was at a moment in time I was mostly on my own. I felt isolated and alone, and due to growing up in and around strict, conservative circles I struggled with feeling far behind my peers, so my personal and school life suffered. Things got better though and I'm happy in my life now, so that's really it.

As I got a little older I had played other FF's and RPGs in between that I also fell in love with (especially Kingdom Hearts) and funnily enough horror games, but I still didn't get my hands on 8 until I got it on my fifteenth birthday and I was over the moon. That night and many nights and weekends after that I played every single bit of that game. I had printed walkthroughs and a guide of the junction system, with overly-detailed notes I had scribbled down and highlighted. I had written down all the rules of triple triad, weapon upgrades, item refinements and what you get from monsters, side-quests, all of it. I had never went all in into a game before, but I did it because I wanted to experience the game that gave preteen me comfort everything it had to offer. And I remember vividly when I finished it I cried until I was almost out of breath.

But you know, I didn't get emotional because of the nostalgic school-like feel and inspired real-world setting, or the overall main plot with magic, sci-fi and sorceresses. It wasn't even the deeply interwoven love stories, the theme of fate or the gameplay either, though I grew to love all of those things dearly with time.

It was because I was a socially-awkward and lonely fifteen year old girl that watched an equally as awkward seventeen year old boy overcome his own deeply-rooted fears and trauma and come out at the end of it all on the path to healing.

And I knew I'd be okay, and ever since then this game has and will always be that reminder and comfort for me.

Thanks for reading.

[wetthandss]

any mutuals wanna join my pathfinder 2nd edition game soon?

i already have one mutual who was interested and my best friend, so there's two and i want a minimum of 4.

would be voiced, possibly using roll20 (i hate it but i havent looked into better free VTTs) although only for maps everything else is on paper, all over discord in a group chat.

schedule would be irregular, finding times that were all available to play whenever we want to rather than trying to find the miracle of a consistent schedule between 5 people. would shoot for minimum 1 hour, maximum 3.

there will be darker themes and gore/body horror.

im willing to teach the game to newbies, i dont know it too well myself, ive only been running it for a little under two years.

im hoping 2 make new friends through this as well if u want ^w^

dm me n ill get back to u not everyone who messages will get in

Here's the pitch:

You've committed a great crime in your homeland. As punishment, you have been sent to the island of Hendir. Hendir used to be a place with great many people, and powerful civilizations. But eventually, something happened and the island was split in two. Its people and its history was lost. The island was rediscovered centuries later, along with its dangers. It was the perfect place for a Penal Colony. Penal Colony #4, or as its few inhabitants call it, Gwaelod, is placed on the shores of the centre of the island, a relatively small and relatively safe circle of land that somehow was spared from whatever split the rest. Criminals have a diverse set of skills, and a few people survive in Gwaelod, those who have lost hope in escape. You just got here, you haven't yet lost hope. You must somehow get off the isolated island in the middle of tempestuous sea.

im also gonna queue this post to reblog a few times over the next week or so so sorry if ur seeing this for the whateverth time, if you dont wanna see it anymore i have supplied a unique tag code that you can add to your blocklist to avoid this specific post. :3

[helluva-world-innit]

Late to the party but finally making an entrance is Envy Ring!

I'm sure you can see similarities between it and Greed which Levi is less than pleased about. Mammon swears he's just trying to give Hell's denizens a lively, entertaining place to spend their Souls/jewels and exploit their Sinners, not copying Envy's bright and alluring aesthetic. To be fair to him, Envy's light is largely bioluminescence whereas Greed must rely on the soul energy that flows into and around Hell from Sloth Ring (we'll get to that house of horrors when we get there). As such, Envy and Wrath Rings are the only ones to have natural light (biolum and lava). Go figure. Green is the main color here though it's not allowing me to photograph it properly. The windows in the palace are actually light green, not white. My gel pens did not want to cooperate and I think I gave up at that point too. Anyhoo, coral reefs were defs an inspiration for this place. As well as the deep sea and fish just being fish.

As is the case in the open Earth ocean...everything in Envy can and will fucking kill you (yes, that is a giant crab). From the flora to the fauna to the fucking ROCKS to the crushing pressure and scathing shade thrown by the Ringmaster or their Overseers, Delta and Ray, everything is designed to leave you bleeding for the sharks here. Even the few landmasses that dot the massive Ring aren't safe. Above the waves live horse-sized creatures that look like pelicans under an x-ray machine. The bone skimmers, as they are known, are notorious for attacking and eating any demons that come too far up to the surface. The rare tourist spot or transport station above the water have to have hounds patrolling around the clock to keep the hellish birds at bay. Naturally, everything is more expensive in Envy proper, where only those who can breathe the sulfuric water of Hell may dwell for any length of time. It is a place of privilege, beauty, and attitude. All of which has been cultivated by its Ringmaster, Leviathan (that big ol' tentacled thing by the palace? that's him playing peekaboo; like an iceberg, we just see the tip).

There is a natural current of soul energy that courses through Envy (crevice, bottom left-ish). Here is where many of the higher echelon of Envy live and work since it's a well-spring of power and very bright here. Named the Ring of Influence, it runs around the entire Ring like a smaller separate ring of Hell itself. The Ars Goetia who live here may as well be gods the lower hellborn are always vying for the attention of and Sinners know no peace if they happen to become entangled in the tendrils of this privileged and isolated kingdom. They form an entirely unique enslaved underclass here and Envy is the biggest generator of Broken Sinners in Hell as a result (we'll get to the Broken later too). The housing and such you can see in the background up there are where the middle-class worker bees live mostly. Also the occasional poor Hellborn or Sinner that would rather die (again?) than fall into the Ring of Influence where life could very well be worse for them depending who gobbles them up. It's like whalefall, I guess.

Now, the tubes. So Hell's got these elevators, right? Hell-evators, if you will. Well, most Rings hide or blend them in to the environment. Not Envy Ring. Demons can see exactly what part of Envy Ring they're traveling to or through thanks to the reinforced glass of the Hell-evators here. Naughty demons even break them sometimes as illustrated above. They have the tech to build a new one and do so, no problem. The general mindset here is 'yeah, we know you want what we have but you could never pull it off like us so die mad' even if every Envy citizen is a literal fish out of water in any other Ring they might travel to. Sure, they're someone that matters there, but would anyone in Gluttony give a shit? Or Pride? Hard to say.

Leviathan is cold, calculating and about the only being stronger than Lucifer in Hell. What stops these two from coming to blows like how Satan and Luci did all those millennia ago to decide who would rule Hell is Levi likes being behind the scenes. Anything that keeps God's attention off them and the prophecy to kill them and serve them up like sashimi to humanity is *chef's kiss*. While they question the decisions their king makes, they still have a frightful amount of respect and love for Lucifer and Satan...just not really anyone else. Including Charlie. Especially not Asmodeus, who is the youngest of the Sins by far.

Notable characters from this Ring are Nifty, Chaz and his family, Verosika, Alessio/the majority of Crimson's gang still, and Baxter. The Overseers of this Ring are the aforementioned eel twins, Delta and Ray. Also planning on doing a map view of this Ring later so I can paint a better picture of where everything is in relation to each other.

Up Next (though who knows when): Sloth Ring!

[madeitlate37]

Midwest Angelica by Team AQ

Onto our second series, now, Midwest Angelica is significantly more recent than Gemini Home Entertainment, but has a lot of backing within the analog horror community. If one was to check out the main subreddit and peek at a few of the many tier-lists that came out around a certain point, Midwest Angelica tends to rank fairly high.

I will be honest and say that this didn’t end up being one of my favorites for reasons I’ll elaborate on in the more in-depth analysis, but I do see the appeal of it, and the hook at the beginning really caught my attention.

As before, some spoiler free qualities:

• Cosmic threats that aren’t just straight alien invasions.

• End of the world scenarios with a lot of fighting to prevent it.

• A threat that is way too smart for its own good.

• Hive-mind-threats.

• Rural settings, if isolation is your jam, Midwest Angelica has it covered.

• On-screen payoff, though this does come at the cost of having a cinematic shot in the middle of security recreations.

• Twisted security, not to the extent of Gemini necessarily but Midwest doesn’t just present footage as a way to convey important information/events.

• Not safe at home, this is done in regular horror a lot, but analog horror tends to make home invasion scenarios much mire real and scary, Midwest Angelica nails that in Act 1.

•Religious symbolism/literal representation, not necessarily a demon, which is rare to see with this kind of horror.

Now here’s the more in-depth look, again, more prone to spoilers:

Midwest Angelica, as I mentioned before, got my attention because it had an amazing dramatic hook, if you go to the YouTube channel, it’s right in the description. To be as spoiler-free as possible, if you enjoyed The Thing by John Carpenter, you’re likely to enjoy this one, too.

This series is good at developing the threat and making you recognize it as a threat despite showing it in the first episode. It overwhelms you with a chaotic situation and pulls you in to want to know what’s actually happening. Throughout this as well, the actual footage is broken up by digital simulations of events. The first episode alone is an excellent example of careful setup and payoff.

It also does a good job at demonstrating the spread of the threat, first it’s being observed by a space program, then it unexpectedly crashes and a team of researchers is sent after it, and when that doesn’t go well, we immediately see a family being attacked by it at their remote home. It’s a common setup for threats of this kind, but the analog format paired with how Team AQ actually handles it made it a lot more visceral and engaging.

The reason I didn’t end up liking it was because I’m personally less of a religious horror person, and because I felt disappointed at how the actual threat differed from what I imagined based on the hook. So it’s nothing the series itself did wrong and is just a preference issue on my end. I did end up being slightly broken from emersion because, as stated above, there was a well-done but out of place cinematic shot which included complete focus on a 3D model with not enough effects to cover the flaws in it. Again, it’s a preference thing for me, and the 3D is used to good effect in other areas of the series.

All of this being said, lots of people still love this series, so I will still recommend it. It has a large audience, updates frequently, and seems to know exactly where the narrative is going. And as we’ll see with other series’, the effects may be bad, but they might be able to be ignored if the concept is good and executed well enough.

Plus, this series is much shorter and less daunting to watch than Gemini.

So, if any of this seems interesting to you, it’s on YouTube as well.

As for next week…

[nazrigar]

A Personal Story about the Importance of History

I know this comes outta nowhere, but... I felt like sharing this after witnessing some... horrible stuff, I want to share a lil' story growing up that shaped me, and why I try to make sure my space is a safe space for Jewish folk (an increasingly dangerous opinion from where I currently live unfortunately).

A forewarning, I am no historian, I am have NO authority on the subject, and I am merely an enthusiast. So what I'm typing here is merely a retelling of an experience I had in middle school.

This is the now demolished Synagogue of Surabaya. When I learned this in middle school, it was just ONE of the things that made me realized how... pervasively awful antisemitism, alongside being taught about the horrors of the Holocaust and the interviews from survivors that we were encouraged to watch, to help understand WHY it's horrible.

To begin the story, I've always had a love of learning history. I didn't know it yet, but it turned out to be a personal passion of mine.

As a Muslim, I was always taught to see the good that people of my faith contribute and the history of said peopls. The popularization of algebra, the preservation of roman knowledge, and being relatively more tolerant than medieval europe at the time.

All that kinda good stuff, and made me feel proud to be a Muslim in a VERY Christian dominated school, where I felt ever increasingly isolated before I moved to a school closer to home for high school, one that was much more secular. (Ironic! Considering Indonesia is a mostly Muslim country).

That pivotal lesson on the Holocaust however, also forever changed my perspective on just how overarching and all-consuming antisemitism was no matter the country, the fact that CENTURIES of ignorance and being scapegoats led to genocide of an industrial scale. It lead to a rabbit hole of learning about Jewish history, something I still occasionally do to this day... and that included some VERY unsavory aspects on the history on the treatment of Jewish folk by the people who share my faith, which includes what happened to the above mentioned synagogue.

Learning about the Synanogue of Surabaya, and how callously it was demolished by a real estate company, hit very close to home... because it IS, in a way, close to home. Surabaya may be on the other side of the island of Java, but the fact that instead of protecting the legacy of a people that were utterly decimated during the occupation of Imperial Japan, and thus shared our struggle, it, like so many was taken over by others and thus forcing local Jewish populations to move to overseas... and in the case of the Synagogue of Surabaya, demolished.

A historical legacy of what was once a people that numbered 3000 here in Indonesia, now down to just 100–550, was gone. Just like that.

And that's the end of the story, and... well. I don't have much more to say really. I guess I'm just depressed, to see virulent antisemitism that, no matter what, one can't escape here in this country, and triggered a lot of memories of the past.

Stay safe everyone.

[diocletianscabbagefarm]

Dominique De Villepin, former Prime Minister of France (who also led France's opposition to the Iraq war and advocated for the Palestinians in 2014) who's had a significant diplomatic career gave a pretty good interview (source for translation) that touches on many of the reasons why the Palestine-Israel conflict is so insoluble and how the use of force is a cyclical dead end. Interview beneath the cut

"Hamas has set a trap for us, and this trap is one of maximum horror, of maximum cruelty. And so there's a risk of an escalation in militarism, of more military interventions, as if we could with armies solve a problem as serious as the Palestinian question.

There's also a second major trap, which is that of Occidentalism. We find ourselves trapped, with Israel, in this western bloc which today is being challenged by most of the international community.

[Presenter: What is Occidentalism?]

Occidentalism is the idea that the West, which for 5 centuries managed the world's affairs, will be able to quietly continue to do so. And we can clearly see, even in the debates of the French political class, that there is the idea that, faced with what is currently happening in the Middle East, we must continue the fight even more, towards what might resemble a religious or a civilizational war. That is to say, to isolate ourselves even more on the international stage.

This is not the way, especially since there's a third trap, which is that of moralism. And here we have in a way the proof, through what is happening in Ukraine and what is happening in the Middle East, of this double standard that is denounced everywhere in the world, including in recent weeks when I travel to Africa, the Middle East, or Latin America. The criticism is always the same: look at how civilian populations are treated in Gaza, you denounce what happened in Ukraine, and you are very timid in the face of the tragedy unfolding in Gaza.

Consider international law, the second criticism that is made by the global south. We sanction Russia when it aggresses Ukraine, we sanction Russia when it doesn't respect the resolutions of the United Nations, and it's been 70 years that the resolutions of the United Nations have been voted in vain and that Israel doesn't respect them.

[Presenter: Do you believe that the Westerners are currently guilty of hubris?]

Westerners must open their eyes to the extent of the historical drama unfolding before us to find the right answers.

[Presenter: What is the historical drama? I mean, we're talking about the tragedy of October 7th first and foremost, right?]

Of course, there are these horrors happening, but the way to respond to them is crucial. Are we going to kill the future by finding the wrong answers…

[Presenter: Kill the future?]

Kill the future, yes! Why?

[Presenter: But who is killing whom?]

You are in a game of causes and effects. Faced with the tragedy of history, one cannot take this 'chain of causality' analytical grid, simply because if you do you can't escape from it. Once we understand that there is a trap, once we realize that behind this trap there has also been a change in the Middle East regarding the Palestinian issue… The situation today is profoundly different [from what it was in the past]. The Palestinian cause was a political and secular cause. Today we are faced with an Islamist cause, led by Hamas. Obviously, this kind of cause is absolute and allows no form of negotiation. On the Israeli side, there has also been a development. Zionism was secular and political, championed by Theodor Herzl in the late 19th century. It has largely become messianic, biblical today. This means that they too do not want to compromise, and everything that the far-right Israeli government does, continuing to encourage colonization, obviously makes things worse, including since October 7th. So in this context, understand that we are already in this region facing a problem that seems profoundly insoluble.

Added to this is the hardening of states. Diplomatically, look at the statements of the King of Jordan, they are not the same as six months ago. Look at the statements of Erdogan in Turkey.

[Presenter: Precisely, these are extremely harsh statements…]

Extremely worrying. Why? Because if the Palestinian cause, the Palestinian issue, hasn't been brought to the forefront, hasn't been put on stage [for a while], and if most of the youth today in Europe have often never even heard of it, it remains for the Arab peoples the mother of all battles. All the progress made towards an attempt to stabilize the Middle East, where one could believe…

[Presenter: Yes, but whose fault is it? I have a hard time following you, is it Hamas's fault?]

But Ms. Malherbe, I am trained as a diplomat. The question of fault will be addressed by historians and philosophers.

[Presenter: But you can't remain neutral, it's difficult, it's complicated, isn't it?]

I am not neutral, I am in action. I am simply telling you that every day that passes, we can ensure that this horrific cycle stops… that's why I speak of a trap and that's why it's so important to know what response we are going to give. We stand alone before history today. And we do not treat this new world the way we currently do, knowing that today we are no longer in a position of strength, we are not able to manage on our own, as the world's policemen.

[Presenter: So what do we do?]

Exactly, what should we do? This is where it is essential not to cut off anyone on the international stage.

[Presenter: Including the Russians?]

Everyone.

[Presenter: Everyone? Should we ask the Russians for help?]

I'm not saying we should ask the Russians for help. I'm saying: if the Russians can contribute by calming some factions in this region, then it will be a step in the right direction.

[Presenter: How can we proportionally respond to barbarism? It's no longer army against army.]

But listen, Appolline de Malherbe, the civilian populations that are dying in Gaza, don't they exist? So because horror was committed on one side, horror must be committed on the other?

[Presenter: Do we indeed need to equate the two?]

No, it's you who are doing that. I'm not saying I equate the faults. I try to take into account what a large part of humanity thinks. There is certainly a realistic objective to pursue, which is to eradicate the Hamas leaders who committed this horror. And not to confuse the Palestinians with Hamas, that's a realistic goal.

The second thing is a targeted response. Let's define realistic political objectives. And the third thing is a combined response. Because there is no effective use of force without a political strategy. We are not in 1973 or in 1967. There are things no army in the world knows how to do, which is to win in an asymmetrical battle against terrorists. The war on terror has never been won anywhere. And it instead triggers extremely dramatic misdeeds, cycles, and escalations. If America lost in Afghanistan, if America lost in Iraq, if we lost in the Sahel, it's because it's a battle that can't be won simply, it's not like you have a hammer that strikes a nail and the problem is solved. So we need to mobilize the international community, get out of this Western entrapment in which we are.

[Presenter: But when Emmanuel Macron talks about an international coalition…]

Yes, and what was the response?

[Presenter: None.]

Exactly. We need a political perspective, and this is challenging because the two-state solution has been removed from the Israeli political and diplomatic program. Israel needs to understand that for a country with a territory of 20,000 square kilometers, a population of 9 million inhabitants, facing 1.5 billion people… Peoples have never forgotten that the Palestinian cause and the injustice done to the Palestinians was a significant source of mobilization. We must consider this situation, and I believe it is essential to help Israel, to guide… some say impose, but I think it's better to convince, to move in this direction. The challenge is that there is no interlocutor today, neither on the Israeli side nor the Palestinian side. We need to bring out interlocutors.

[Presenter: It's not for us to choose who will be the leaders of Palestine.]

The Israeli policy over recent years did not necessarily want to cultivate a Palestinian leadership… Many are in prison, and Israel's interest - because I repeat: it was not in their program or in Israel's interest at the time, or so they thought - was instead to divide the Palestinians and ensure that the Palestinian question fades. This Palestinian question will not fade. And so we must address it and find an answer. This is where we need courage. The use of force is a dead end. The moral condemnation of what Hamas did - and there's no "but" in my words regarding the moral condemnation of this horror - must not prevent us from moving forward politically and diplomatically in an enlightened manner. The law of retaliation is a never-ending cycle.

[Presenter: The "eye for an eye, tooth for tooth".]

Yes. That's why the political response must be defended by us. Israel has a right to self-defense, but this right cannot be indiscriminate vengeance. And there cannot be collective responsibility of the Palestinian people for the actions of a terrorist minority from Hamas.

When you get into this cycle of finding faults, one side's memories clash with the other's. Some will juxtapose Israel's memories with the memories of the Nakba, the 1948 catastrophe, which is a disaster that the Palestinians still experience every day. So you can't break these cycles. We must have the strength, of course, to understand and denounce what happened, and from this standpoint, there's no doubt about our position. But we must also have the courage, and that's what diplomacy is… diplomacy is about being able to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that's the cunning of history; when you're at the bottom, something can happen that gives hope. After the 1973 war, who would have thought that before the end of the decade, Egypt would sign a peace treaty with Israel?

The debate shouldn't be about rhetoric or word choice. The debate today is about action; we must act. And when you think about action, there are two options. Either it's war, war, war. Or it's about trying to move towards peace, and I'll say it again, it's in Israel's interest. It's in Israel's interest!"

[barbwillbrb]

Waiting on my car to get fixed, so here is more info-dumping about my tavs Rackal and Clairice, along with the slight AU I’m working with:

- The monastery got destroyed. They had the artifact to prevent it from going boom in their inventory. Clairice saw the shiny and yoinked it. Cue prolonged eye contact.

- Rolan joins the crew in Act 2 post Last Light Inn to find the Nightsong, having been convinced no one good is associated in its acquisition and there has to be something fucking wrong with Lorroakan if that’s the case.

- Per my silly Rolan headcanon post, he learns he’s a sorcerer. Specifically a Wild Magic one—it just turns out when you are exceptionally good at suppressing your emotions/dealing with panic attacks on the regular, you can be pretty good at controlling your surges. Who knew!

- That is until the resident know-it-all-wizard, meaning very well, decides to dump that info on him without much precedence. Rolan can only take so many life-altering changes in a week, and sets off a metaphorical bomb in camp that may have burned down two tents (causing Minthara to switch up her hairstyle in the aftermath), turned Scratch blue, and polymorphed Rackal into a sheep.

- The Ketheric Thorm/Myrkul fight poses a moral conflict for Rackal, as he very much understands why Ketheric succumbed to Shar and isn’t sure whether or not he would do the same if the opportunity had presented itself at the wrong time. He is propositioned with the opportunity to bring Meirin back and switch sides, but ultimately chooses not to. I have not decided yet if Ketheric lives in my AU, so that’s still up in the air.

- Clairice’s major turning point is Last Light Inn. During the bulk of Act 1, she isn’t really grasping the scope of the trouble they’re in (although tbh it’s just a coping strategy she’s barely aware of; think blind, “it is what is is and we can’t change it!” type optimism/recklessness). Deep down, I think she really believes that they’ll find some cure in time and that the tadpole thing is really a lot smaller in scope (like okay, there are people popping up with these things according to Halsin/Nettie, but it surely can’t be that many, right? Maybe it just seems like a lot because the Grove is so isolated [don’t ask her what a reasonable number of tadpole infections is]? This has got to be just some weird shit, right?). But then suddenly they’re in the Underdark and all these Twat Souls are here apparently kidnapping genius gnomes who can build bombs, and now there are fucking Gods getting involved?! And then they’re crossing into the Shadow-Cursed Lands and see all the dead tieflings and nothing is okay oh dear god no what was the fucking POINT why do this hero nonsense?! I think what actually makes her kinda snap out of it/get her head back on is 1) Raphael and Mol (something about a devil going after a desperate kid in the middle of a battle torn refuge camp just puts everything into perspective and switches her from “eh, he’s just kinda silly” to “i needed him dead yesterday”) and 2) the assault on the Inn. From there on, she goes from “we are so so fucked” to “GET FUCKED.”

- Without a singular doubt, Clairice hates Raphael. I think they have a pretty interesting dynamic from Act 1-LLI, and even after she sets herself against him she knows to play the long game. Getting into the House of Hope is less about the hammer for her and more about getting Mol’s contract/causing as many problems as possible.

- Clairice and Minthara get together halfway through Act 3, sometime shortly after Clairice’s rescue from Orin.

- Rackal and Rolan also get together in Act 3, and to everyone’s fucking horror they’re worse than Clairice and any of her liaisons.

- Rackal goes to Avernus with Wyll and Karlach, with the trio returning a year later when her heart’s fixed. He keeps in contact with both Rolan and Clairice through sending stones, and returns to Rolan when he’s back.

- Clairice meanwhile is off helping Minthara deal with her bullshit down in Menzoberranzan. She’s causing chaos and having tons of fun.