#and show you the accounts i follow to help you understand where I've formed this opinion from if you really care but its not my priority

[alchemiclee]

i've been told/keep seeing posts about people suddenly not liking when people add tags to their posts with their own thoughts/feelings/opnions/experiences, and even people that say not to tag with certain common organizational tags (like ships for example i see the most. some people use a ship name for organization purposes and not necessarily for shipping. for example i use "collei and her dads" for cyno, tighnari, collei art for my organization so I cam find them again and theres been a few artists screaming not to use ship tags and that could be seen as a ship tag. so what do i do? not organize your art into my tags and let it get lost and never seen again? not share your art at all? kinda silly but whatever, ill just ignore your art).

I personally think that's all a bit ridiculous....i don't know if that's a more recent thing (like with twitter people coming here suddenly and expecting to act like this is twitter) or if it happened in the years since I took a break from tumblr. but bAcK iN mY DaY we used tags as a little whisper to add our own thoughts without interrupting the main post. adding hard comments or replies was more seen as "too much/too loud" if it wasn't something directly meant for OP. tags were usually never meant for OP and were always for the reblogger and their followers. these days more and more people seem to think tags on their posts are all speaking to them directly or interrupting their post (not to say you can't speak to OP through tags, like i'll say nice things about their art in tags) but not everything in someone's tags on a post they reblog from you is for you! you can ignore it!!!

I know on twitter (where I went after leaving tumblr a while back) people use quote retweets to speak to the OP often. but not always. I sometimes would quote a tweet to add my own thoughts while using the quote as like a citation to credit OP for the idea. but I have a few times where the OP thought I was speaking to/about them and got very upset about it. one was a large account who quoted me back and got very nasty and sent their minions after me. quotes are louder than tumblr tags. so that's more understandable, and I was always very hesitant to do it, but I personally see indirect tweets about another post as extremely rude and posting screenshots of tweets on twitter is also rude.

I loved coming back here mainly for the tag system! I missed being able to share a post and also quietly add my thoughts. go on long rambles related to the main post without stealing their post completely or needing to make a whole new post. I know most old tumblr users get that and don't care, probably. I NEVER saw anyone complain about it in the past. only say how much they love it. it was just part of how this site worked for us. a culture thing we naturally created. so i'm assuming it's mostly new users who don't get this culture? it also doesn't help tumblr made it so you now see tags in your notes tab and not just comments added and replies. before, you would have to go to "someone reblogged your post" to see if they added tags because tumblr only showed comments. I personally LOVE when people add tags to my post with their thoughts and stories and whatnot. ai i'd go to every reblog I got to see if there's tags added. it's like an uncommitted interaction. they dont expect a reply, i don't expect a reply. they are isolated thoughts, but still related. it's still a form of interaction, without the pressure of being direct, and I feel seen/heard when they add them. (it means they're not a bot, auto reblogging my posts /hj) seeing tags on my posts i'm not just shouting into the void alone and someone sees me. me adding tags to a post is a gentle "you're not alone/I hear you/im a real person not a bot" from me. but it also could be me saying "your post inspired me! I want to write something too! but im being quiet about it so i dont take away from your post and your post gets all the credit" when I add my own little tag ramble.

so the fact that people are now suddenly being upset by people adding their own experiences and thoughts to tags is super disappointing and and frankly annoying. tags don't take away from your post and you can just ignore them! no one is forcing you to expand the tags in your notes and read them! hardly anyone will see them. most will only read your post and not people's tags! I know no one usually reads my tags because i've added secret messages to the end of my tags and no one ever responds to it lmao things like send a pic in my ask and i'll draw it for you.

yes I know "RESPECT PEOPLE BOUNDARIES" but it kind of disrespects my needs as well. theres a thin line between someone's boundaries being crosses and someone's needs not being met. but that's a whole debate i'm not willing to have so don't start it. (not that kind of boundary is easy to not cross. not bringing up arguments. but asking people to not use a main function of a website is kind of pushing it imo...) yeah I want to respect boundaries the best i can, but unless you say in the post "don't reblog and add your own tags" no one will know and you get upset when no one knows. and no, no one will read your profile/pinned post before reblogging. no one will go to the original post and read your tags. they will only reblog it right off their dash if they aren't seeing it directly from you in the tags/for you page. some people will reblog 100 posts a day. they won't go to every profile/original post before reblogging just to see if you have any special conditions and rules for your random one post out of hundreds they see a day. that's too much to expect, honestly, sorry to say!

but this is tumblr. maybe it's better for people to accept the culture/etiquette here and let it happen without complaining, or realize this isn't the place for them! because it doesn't meet their needs and boundaries! and that's ok! it doesn't have to be your place. you don't need to stay here if you don't like how it works! asking an entire website to "respect your boundaries" by not participating in a basic or essential function of the website is a little ridiculous to be fair....

no i'm not saying your boundaries don't deserve to be respected. i'm saying this probably isn't the place to have those boundaries in the first place. because there's am established way this site functions that works in counter to your wanted boundaries, so it just doesn't fit your needs. and like I said that's ok! you don't need to stay here if it upsets you that much! it's better if you find a social media where people can't share your posts. like a simple blog site that doesn't have a share function! or like Instagram? people cant share those posts. (sorry, I dont know much about social media) if you really want people to stop adding tags that bad, either turn off reblogs completely, or ask staff to add a notification option to turn off seeing added tags on reblogs! (if you're veeerry lucky, and not a trans woman, they might listen to you)

[borreloadsavagedragon]

8 and 12 for the ask meme 👀

oh my god I reblogged that ask game knowing I am not a mean person AT ALL, so this is gonna push me to my LIMITS

(if you stand by anything in here, you’re cool as hell and I'm glad you interact with media, I am simply over sharing about fictional card game nerds like always!!!)

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

I had to sit and stare at this one forever to come up with one because I am just so in my own little corner that I never really notice other people's interpretations of characters, like I have my bachelors and ph.d. in the ones that matter and I write my silly little fanfics using my deranged thinking, that's it, roll credits

BUT there is one thing I've seen a few times now across a couple of months in random liveblogs or opinion pieces that I kind of wanna touch on it

And that's that Kaito wasn't held accountable in Zexal.

I think a topic like accountability and atonement in fiction is going to differ very strongly between person to person and what they feel is the proper amount of justice to someone given their crimes, I understand that, but I just want to throw my own hat in the ring for why I disagree respectfully but wholeheartedly

Here's where I write about it in my analysis(WHICH IS 8K+ RN AND STILL GOING, GOD HELP ME)

"This is one I’ve seen a few times and I wanted to make an entire separate point for it because I do think it's a very interesting conversation to have in regards to the moral playground that a lot of the YuGiOh rivals in general have(with Ryoken Kogami from YuGiOh Vrains sitting as the reigning king in the topic of questionable ethics by some fans, but he’s another character study for another day), but the focus isn’t where I think it should be. I think it’s more fascinating that Kaito’s the character I see called out the most for his work as a Number Hunter compared to other fan favorites in the cast, especially when all we saw from Kaito since his actions in "The Seized Emperor's Key! Showdown, Kaito vs Shark" was his own form of accountability. We’ve known since the very scene following his introduction as the primary antagonist for the first half of Zexal I, Kaito despises the job and his employers based on how he can’t even look Mr. Heartland in the eye when he reports his progress and how his eyes drop to the floor when the premise of taking souls is brought up. He has a special distaste for those with Numbers because of what he was led to believe since we also learn later on he’s been fed almost nothing but lies about the Numbers so the times Kaito might have become far more conflicted with his circumstances sooner were always ripped away from him. In his mind, he's trapped and following orders is his best option right now, but if it means the only thing that matters most to him, his little brother, is ok, then he'll be the worst person in the world. And that's just the explanation for why he did it all. Because even with the truth, he doesn't excuse it.

Following Zexal I, Kaito continues to involve himself with the struggle against the Barians, and while most of it is with the understanding he's avenging the damage done to his family, it’s also in part avenging the damage he did to Yuma, Ryouga, and the many other people he’s laid a hand on. The idea that a character or a person needs to wear their guilt and redemption on their sleeve at every second is unreasonable. I also think it’s important to recognize that atonement isn’t just justice or forgiveness; Kaito, for example, never once asks for forgiveness, nor apologizes verbally. Instead, he shows up. He's there when he has to be and does exactly what he needs to do, because his actions are going to be worth more than his words are going to be. Kaito has always been and is always going to be someone who is going to act, not speak. Zexal I Kaito isn’t showing up to help handle the gang in the first few episodes of Zexal II. Zexal I Kaito isn’t taking Yuma’s place against Mizael in the duel in the sphere field. While Kaito continues to have alternate and additional motivation for his own newfound focus, he does not do these things for his ambition’s sake only.  Anytime accountability and Kaito’s treatment of his allies is brought up, I think it’s also very telling when some things are excluded, like how he pivots the entire project with Chris in the Arctic into getting Yuma sent to Astral World instead of them in order to reunite with Astral is largely overlooked. Another example is his complete turnaround behavior towards Gauche and Droite both in Spartan City, going as far to recognize how strong of a duelist and person Droite is when Gauche is possessed by Alito and that Droite is the only person suited for that duel despite him being seemingly such an asshole towards her in Zexal I. Hell, Kaito’s treatment of Ryouga is far different in one half to another, he goes from reducing Ryouga down to a waste of his time and just another punk who wants a piece of him to respecting him in his own weird little way where he has to pick a fight with him. We've all seen Zexal I, we've seen how Kaito truly treats people he doesn't like. --- I like to look at Kaito through the lens of rejection because loneliness is such a key portion of his character. I feel like focusing on those wrongs doubles down on the theme that’s in place. Kaito has hurt people. But he recognizes that, verbalizes it when he calls himself hell bound even, so he will continue to do better by those people."

THIS IS WHY IM HIS BIGGEST APOLOGIST

I just think he's so interesting, I wanna talk about him being a piece of shit because he IS, how mean he was to Yuma in I says a lot, but he's not THAT much of a piece of shit by the end, his development isn't overwhelmingly apparent, much like most rivals in the franchise, but it's VERY there

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

SPECTRE!!!!! I LITERALLY HAVE PIECES FOR HIS WIG AND HAVE HAD THEM FOR A YEAR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

I was AMAZED once to find out that people didn’t like Spectre because Spectre is so standout and fascinating. I HATE how he's boiled down to being creepy or "what happened to Aoi in their duel"-

Before it plummeted to hell, I got a tweet on my Twitter fyp from an rp acct that was like “like this if you hate spectre” and it had ~35 likes so I had to be cheeky and tweeted "what's it like to have bad taste" gjdsakldgskajg My one time with a mean streak..........

Genuinely though, what’s it like to not have taste, he's a freak, it's on purpose, I'd die for Spec

[psychewritesbs]

Heyyyyy,

So about the 'love in the time of cholera' post. I did read it in English back in 2017 and i started ' thousand years of solitude ' around that time too and somehow lost the book and never bothered to buy another. And then i read something else by Marquez ( of love and other demons) and i have tried to study Spanish ( which hasn't been great because all i could manage was a tourist level knowledge). what i wanted to ask is how can i study spanish so that I'll be able to read spanish literature???

YO! WHAT is UP?

ok so... first, you're read about as much Hispanic literature as I have and I was raised in México. I feel a bit ashamed bahaha. I grew up south of the border with the US so my parents forced me to learn English by only buying media in English. It paid off because I've never been popular but whenever there was an English test, everyone wanted to sit behind me.

Second, that's a loaded question. mmmmm so... you're probably in the same situation as me with Japanese.

For context, I studied Japanese in a formal setting in college for about 2 years, and then took private group lessons more recently sometime around 2018 for about a year.

So part of my recommendation involves hiring private lessons. It's really one of the best ways to get personalized feedback. I wish there was something like that where I live rn but, alas, such is life.

Anyways, I'll elaborate under the cut...

Get your brain used to the language

Watch anime without subtitles or listen to podcasts

What I've done with Japanese is that I sometimes turn subtitles off when watching anime. This mostly works if I've seen the show or movie enough times to where I know what the dialogue is about. So like, I literally watch You Name (which I've only seen about three hundred million times), in Japanese without English subtitles and I can ALMOST understand the movie in its entirety. You'll be surprised by how much you do understand.

That said, you can actually watch jjk in Spanish! I think that to prepare for season 2 I'm going to watch season 1 in Spanish just because why not 🤣. Spanish dubs are always fun and I've always much preferred them over English dubs.

The dub Crunchyroll uses seems to have Mexican actors so the accent and should be pretty neutral. They most likely also avoid highly Mexicanized slang. So no need to worry, Megumi won't be saying "wey, no mames" every 5 words like I do.

Another thing I started doing but haven't done lately is that I found a podcast, spoken entirely in beginner-friendly Japanese, for Japanese learners. I am sure there's something similar in Spanish. Again, the point is to get your brain used to the language.

Pick up a children's book in Spanish and start reading

Why children's book? Because the vocabulary and grammar will be much simpler and accessible. You can gradually move up to more complex works as you see fit.

I have a Japanese manga magazine that I translate as I read.

Another benefit of this is that it gets you used to how language is used in its native form.

For example, if you read a children's book, you'd be learning Spanish as a child would, as opposed to learning text-book Spanish.

Follow accounts on social media by Spanish-speaking content creators or language instructors

I follow a couple of Japanese private tutors on Instagram like this one and a couple of accounts that use content to promo their work. That way, as I'm doing the endless mindless social media scroll, I can at least do something productive.

Use language learning apps

This one is a simple one. It's pretty basic but they are helpful. The point is to practice. This is a good way to get the basic grammar rules and vocabulary going.

Hire a tutor or enroll in private lessons

Ok I simply can't emphasize this enough. I really would take private group Japanese lessons in person again if there was such a thing where I currently live.

But there's also online tutors. What I like about having a proper teacher is that they can help correct grammatical or vocabulary errors. You should be able to find someone by doing a google search for private language tutors.

Another thing that hiring someone does is that it creates structure, accountability for you to actually sit down and study AND it creates a habit of it.

Which brings me to my next point...

DON'T BE LIKE ME!

I've literally shared what I do to study Japanese, but like I actually don't do it consistently enough for anything to stick for longer than 5 minutes.

Looooooool epic fail.

You want to be as consistent as possible which is defo not one of my strengths. So don't be lazy like me.

This is a long-term project so you are defo in it for the long run if you decide to go through with it. I feel like Márquez uses big words but Laura Esquivel's use of language is very simple and you might be able to understand her if you take the time to just sit down and translate at least a paragraph at a time.

頑張って！

Keep me updated / mantenme al tanto!

[fadetouchedsilk]

okay so i finished the game last night, time for some thoughts--

might as well throw this under the cut but i will Try to keep it as spoiler free as i can edit: i did not in fact manage to do this so open at your own risk

overall i think this was a neutral to positive experience for me, with some (imo well justified) criticisms and frustrations here. i'm trying my best to be objective & fair here and i think i did a decent job lmao (but also this is completely just my opinion so sometimes we veer. it is what it is.)

i feel like the entire time i was playing this game i was basically assessing it on two levels. the first was more critical, trying to take into account the production & the game as a Product in the franchise as a whole (regardless of how some people may feel, it's still under the ip & is still officially a da game). more of a technical side basically. the second was looking at it without the 'what could have been' lens & just trying to see if it was able to be successful in what it set out to do.

don't ask me why, but having these two channels helps me with personally more relaxed about how i'm feeling & process better. idk if this is a me thing or if anyone else knows what i'm talking about, but anyway.

in general i always expect bioware games to be uh. kind of crap in a very specific way lmao. i honestly think part of why i enjoy these games is genuinely Because i can patch up some of the gaps with my own ideas and still have the core of the narrative followed. personally i don't like deviating Too much from canon, i like to make connections to bolster it if that makes sense? if media is too good it doesn't usually end up compelling me in the same way since i don't feel the need to pick away at it (with very, very few expections). the scaffolding bioware gives me is pretty much ideal for this, so i was expecting another solid C+ feeling game to poke around in.

that's a very long-winded way of saying my expectations were absolutely not high going into this. not so low that i would have just been satisfied with literally anything, but low enough that i was going to play it anyway if for no other reason than just to see what happened next. (honestly, had this never been released, i would have been content with someone leaking a script & just reading through that. that's where i was at lol. it's been a decade, i invested a Lot of energy into loving dai in particular and even though it's not my first choice hyperfixation anymore by a long shot, there's still some interest there.)

most of my thoughts on the first are speculative & formed from trying to piece together what i've seen the devs speak on and what we know about the whole mass-firing thing. i think there are definitely areas where it seems like corners were cut with the writing, a lot of the time it gave me the impression that Someone on staff wanted to do more with what they were writing, but for whatever reason it wasn't allowed to go there.

i'm not really sure why it was implied pre-release that there wasn't going to be a lot of cameos or callbacks, because those were definitely there. i did definitely find myself frustrated with this on some level. i don't think it was malicious, but if nothing else it showed that it was completely possible to connect things to past games more than they did. i do somewhat understand the glossing over origins, since it was released without the expectation of sequels in the first place & you Can kill off your protagonist there (which automatically presents chances for continuity discrepancies later on). i also wasn't expecting to hear from hawke since we had their appearance in dai. but there should have been more callbacks to inquisition than there were, period.

even if the game was supposed to function as something to appeal to new players, i don't think it would have been hard to add a few extra line of context to the codexes to fill those gaps. we hear enough about the happenings in the south that it would have been justified, imo. this wasn't enough to pull me out of the game completely or anything, it was just a small ever-present disappointment as i went through. it really felt like a 'bare minimum for the sake of continuity' situation, and at that point i start to wonder if we would have been better off not getting them at all? i can't really decide either way. it's been a good half-decade since i picked up dai, but i was invested like you wouldn't believe for a good handful of years. my lore knowledge is slowly unearthing itself from my brain and it's entirely possibly my stance on this will shift as i remember more.

i will also say that this one-foot-in method doesn't really do new players any favours either. no, me forgetting lore doesn't really put me in their shoes, but it did definitely allow me to temporarily see how having less context for some events made it more confusing than just. having a codex blurb.

the pacing was. odd throughout. it's apparently a three act structure, but it felt unbalanced. i don't know if this had to do with the way i was playing (did all main/companion/a bunch of side quest stuff) and spacing things out or what, but the game felt weirdly lengthy up until i hit the davrin/taash/emmrich recruitment period, then fell into a lull, and only really found footing near the end bits. that's... not super great. when inquisition felt long, it was because you were still wandering around a map instead of progressing. here, it's like the non-main story content is being bread-crumbed out to the point it becomes disjointed. i think we probably saw the companion quests chopped up like that to encourage us to return to the lighthouse periodically & make sure we were catching up with everyone? a lot of the ambient conversations there reminded me more of field banter than the actual field banter, and i wonder if this had something to do with moving from a 4 man team to a 3 man team.

field banter triggered fairly regularly, and i Loved the fact that if it got interrupted by a fight it would pick up again right after. considering how slow dai's was to trigger, i would call this a quality of life win lmao. sometimes the banters would repeat, but i believe this is some sort of bug related to the way some people noticed that reloading a save would push you back a few minutes in time from when you Actually made the save. bug wise, that was the only thing i experienced consistently and i wasn't particularly bothered by it + i know some people had it worse. i do hope there are some hotfixes out soon, particularly for the player appearances being overwritten & saves not loading properly. i have a theory that the player appearances might be tied to using a preset rather than just starting from scratch, but i haven't seen enough people saying this to be sure.

i like the companions a lot, more than i thought i would, but much like with the callbacks, i just really wish there was More for them. they're fun! the lore expansions are interesting (what is going On in the crypts), we just don't get to spend enough time with anyone? the cutscenes in this game feel so short, specifically for anything not related to the main story. this game feels like it takes place over at least a couple months, we should be able to spend some time getting to know these people. i don't like how you can't just click on them at the lighthouse and get a dialogue loop once you're done talking to them about something new, surprisingly. even if in the past it was just a 'hello/goodbye' situation after exhausting dialogue trees, losing it was disappointing. i think it somehow led to the home base area feeling more static than it needed to be. again, the ambient conversations between them don't really do enough to help, because you can pretty easily miss it and/or just walk away. i know a lot of people struggled to click with the dai companions, but there was absolutely more screentime you could have with them than these ones & it's a real shame.

the inquisitor was There. i know a lot of people are saying they were bland and that's pretty accurate but also from what i remember, also not unfaithful to how they came off in dai. i think i forced this out of my mind after writing so much for my inquisitor back in the day, but it all immediately came flooding back to me as soon as i heard the dialogue. annoying, sure, but also consistent so i don't really have any strong feelings here. (why was i as an elf almost the same height as dorian though. she is not that tall lmao.)

i do think that fundamentally the game set out what it wanted to do when it came to solas' story. i actually really enjoyed the last sections of the game, & he became a delightful bastard antagonist type which was unironically the most fun i've had with him as a character since... ever? with inquisition, i hated that you couldn't really hit back at him in a way that had teeth, unless you wanted to punch him. which is fine for some, but i was sorely craving the option to ask him if he fucking hears himself in Multiple conversations. rook satiated that one in me, i won't lie lmao. pulling the knife-swap on him and then watching him stick to the veil like a fridge magnet was Great. i will probably try something else next time just to see what happens, but that felt like a pretty organic way to handle someone who couldn't help but lie & condescend to you the Entire time. from what i've seen, a good number of people are also enjoying their endings & finding that it makes sense, so i'm comfortable saying that in this respect, the game did its job.

and god help me i actually liked solas this time around.

look, i'm a human person. i'm also nearly 30 and have been around for almost a decade with this franchise, i have shifted opinions before & am capable of doing so again. do i like to be a hater sometimes because i think hyperbole is funny? yes! am i also 100% open to a new perspective from the writing and moving on from there? also yes! i wasn't optimistic here, but believe it or not, i actually wanted to be given something so that i could shift my thoughts on this man. romanced or not, he's the wheel that these events turned from. being completely sick of him 100% of time was somewhat draining. like i would see the writers talk about him and i would become frustrated because i genuinely could Not see what i was supposed to be latching onto here in any capacity. dai solas didn't make me love him, like him, or even hate him--i was mildly annoyed by him and honestly? kind of bored. considering how i don't exactly hold these games to high standards for entertainment, that was a pretty damning strike against him.

understand that i have never vibed with solas before this time, like, period. i wanted to, because i love a morally grey motherfucker & an antagonist who sees himself as literally anything but that, but something about him has consistently just rubbed me the wrong way. i think this is definitely partially due to dev favouritism (something that gives me the ick no matter the fandom. you & i are not friends, leave that boundary between fan and creator up, thanks.) & also, quite frankly, a lot of abhorrent behaviour from some of his louder fans. i didn't like the vibe of him being THE most important thing here, everyone else who didn't romance him or wasn't otherwise up his ass didn't matter. it just felt really mean spirited & like we played the game the 'wrong' way coming from dev comments. i can't tell you how happy i was to see that end up not being the case. true, majority of us weren't thrilled with how dai got treated in general, but at least it's across the board lmao.

however, we got to push back against him this time & peel back some more layers. the dialogue choices felt more like actual reactions i can see someone having when having a conversation like that. i was impressed that there were actually multiple options for his fate near the end. it did feel like a more fair version of the me3 ending choices, at least insofar as they were presented & played out. there was a choice that made sense for the different ways we could have handled interacting with him, which i did appreciate. him being physically incapable of not trying to fuck us over isn't something i consider bad writing, it was in character, his actions were logical based on context & as a player i had options that existed beyond 'roll over and take it' or 'punch him.' he's very fun to argue with, i must say. no, i probably won't ever be able to do the solavellan route myself. i can push my suspension of disbelief pretty far and roleplay a character well enough but if i man i was interested in irl ever spoke to me that way i think i would snap and i just can't get over that here lmao, but i can 100% see how this would feel like a pretty decent ending for the ship.

(as an aside, i've seen the 'happy' ending there, but can you do something like the fakeout/uno reverse betrayal with the inquisitor here too? i think the old kiss'n'stab would be a very fun option because of betrayal parallels, but i'm not sure if that's something we're be allowed lmao)

anyway it probably doesn't sound like i vibed with him here very much, but i promise you i did. i'm harsh by default & like to argue irl for fun with my friends, & i would have 0 issues saying if i thought he kept sucking here lmfao. he did, just like, in a way that i personally enjoyed, so it turns into a net positive.

varric being dead was just. ech. personally da2 was my least favourite & actually still is lol. i'm not attached to his character. he's a fruitfly to me. i don't hate him but when i saw him returning again i was like Really? but his presence makes sense to me on the grounds of me being unable to picture literally Anyone Else trying to do what he did during the prologue. even harding was like 'should i shoot him in the head.' in hindsight the clues are very much there but i 100% did not catch them because i straight up wasn't paying enough attention to varric.

on the subject of that, yes, it's very annoying that you need to keep being told to Do Your Sidequests For The Love Of Fuck. i got why immediately as i picked up on what we were supposed to do during the last fight, though. and if we're assuming that this will be a number of people's introduction to this sort of game, then yeah, alright, on a mechanical level the reminders make sense. somehow i have still caught a handful of people surprised things went poorly because they didn't do the companion quests, and with peace and love i think some of you need to brush up on basic media literacy. it was not subtle in delivery, we were supposed to know those were important. i can't decide if i'm annoyed with this writing or if i'm impressed bioware was anticipating the rpg horseblinders this way. it's probably both.

the blight evolution felt natural & made enough sense that i don't feel the need to chip away at it. like alright, based on the information we were provided with in the text, this tracks. it did start feeling a bit like me3 with the husks, but that might also be a glameplay thing. also, same studio. a bit of similarity here and there isn't a surprise imo.

dwarf lore was pretty neat to get, dwarf players how are you feeling? i honestly didn't think we would get to revisit the titans in any significant way, so i was pretty pleased to see them return & be a major part of the story. i haven't delved too much into it structurally yet, but to me it came off as another loose end being tied off in a way i can live with.

elsewhere, though... i don't know. i had a good time, but i also wasn't really allowed to 'settle' in this game the same way as i have before. it felt very go go go onto the next mission, spend 5 minutes there and keep going. 'shallow and short' is the combination here for a lot of the first 3/4 of the game, and that's unfortunate. obviously we weren't going to get the same puttering around like in dai, but i think we could have had some more depth from these people. again, frustrating. i like what we were given, but i don't think there was nearly enough of it (seems to be a repeating sentiment here doesn't it?)

i will out myself as someone who enjoyed the score. i will also out myself as someone who have no music background and can't remember the dai main theme despite having 400+ hours in that game. do what that information what you will. as my girlfriend pointed out, the music because very mass effect, especially with the synth coming in (which explains why i was vibing). she does know music, and did also say the score was objectively fine, it just didn't quite fit the game.

interestingly, something we both picked up on was the structure itself starting to feel more like mass effect the longer we played, specifcally me2/me3. if you've played me2, you will absolutely get flashbacks to its suicide mission during the last two pushes in veilguard. i'm actually not mad about a shift towards this format. i think it will be Significantly easier to produce these games going forward if they're looking at the trilogy as a model. like, yes, there was choice in those games, but it was far more linear & limited than what we came to expect from dragon age. given that the veilguard epilogue seems to hint at another game (and, as someone pointed out, there were at least 3 eluvians that were still blacked out by the end of the game. not shattered, just inactive--dlc maybe?) & this game seems to be doing well with reviewers/financially, i suspect they will be wanting to continue with the series in some form. changing the structure up this way will hopefully help avoid another decade-long hiatus. also i just objectively liked the trilogy a lot. veilguard seems like a transition piece into that sort of structure, and i think it shows. there are some growing pains, but i think if they settle into it it won't be nearly as apparent going forward.

speaking of me3.

the final couple missions were absolutely taking notes from me2's suicide mission, but the overall ending felt more along the lines of the me3 finale. there were some callbacks and appearances of past characters, and i think we were definitely meant to feel that same 'everyone collectively coming together to fight' thing from me3. it did kind of miss, though, since we don't have everyone. this game is the direct sequel to dai in a way that the other games weren't billed as. this is the place i would have had more connections to really hammer home that feeling of unity. if we got the cameos and links no where else, it should have been here. me3 was painful, i cried when i was done. there were heavy emotional beats near the end for sure, but they didn't hit as hard as i know they could have. i think if we had more of dai to latch onto for the epilogue, then the South being scorched earth (literally and metaphorically) would have felt like less of a sore spot. me3 also destroyed... just about everything. we watched a lot of people die, we couldn't save everyone. but there was still some catharsis in the narrative. choices we made previously might not have mattered in a big way, but we got a couple frames during the climax and it was like oh! okay! & you sat there and Felt Something.

i don't actually mind that this is a soft reset, or that the south got fucked up. i knew going in this was intended to reboot things so i already acclimated to the idea beforehand & i'm sure that helped. inquisition stressed that we were not a small organization, there would be influence over thousands of people's lives. in some way, i personally feel like this is a clumsy extension of that. there was always going to be collateral with the scale of what we were fighting here, it just would have been nice to see (even quickly) some signs that the characters we moved on from were actually involved in it. the inquisitor letters didn't really fulfill this need at all. i'm not sure what the best way to implement it would have been either. my gut instinct says cutscene but who knows? we were obviously meant to feel a lot of emotions here, but the punches were pulled in the end to the game's detriment. i'm still not overall mad at it, but i can't help see where there are massive holes.

rapid fire other stuff:

i love some of the visuals here. some of those maps? absolutely wretched! disgusting! i was living in the blighted areas. no idea why i saw so many people saying that this was 'too light' for this franchise. maybe early game? and then you get to a turning point (you'll know it when you see it) and it's like ah, i remember how i felt seeing the brood mother for the first time.

the maps in general are very decently sized. you don't realize it initially because you can't explore all at once, but they're fairly large & there's plenty to see. i don't miss the open-world format at all tbh.

popping the blight boils had no business being as satisfying as it was but every time i did it compelled me.

i'm okay with none of the companions loathing each other this time around & wasn't actually bored by it. there are some conflicts, but they feel like a decently realistic level of beef to have with acquaintances.

i didn't notice a lot of approval/disapproval happening but found myself not missing it a whole lot either. i don't know, i think because we all had the same end goal here it was kind of whatever to me.

(again, very mass effect of them here to do this. it's been a while since i played that too, but you really could just do Whatever as shepard and people would stay 99% of the time)

i still wish the well of sorrows came up. seeing how mythal was fractured, i don't think there's a reason it should have been glossed over. if nothing else, solas was mad as fuck about that incident & i'm kind of surprised it didn't carry over for that reason alone.

there are some... decently salvageable looks. i think the shadowdragons & crows do the best, with the lords of fortune being absolute bottom of the barrel for me. it's not only impractical, it's also orientalist and ugly. literally 0 redeeming features to it, throw it all away. (or like just give isabela pants. that actually would have made that look a low pass for me. peacock feathers don't fucking sit like that.)

mournwatch outfits broke my goth heart though. i know it's like... morgue scrubs inspired or whatever but i don't like it & why is there so much green and gold. game devs in general do you know silver metals exist. not everything has to be yellow gold.

i don't think we needed a crafting table, but i was for sure missing dye abilities (ffxiv has spoiled me in this regard i fear, i forgot the trenches dai had me in before mods)

the dreadwolf is bald?? like as a wolf? grain of salt, i'm running this game on med-low settings (on a ssd, it has no business being sold as hdd compatible but that's a rant for another time) so i might just not see the strands but uh. that looked like my cat's bald patches and turkey neck. i know it was a cool fight scene but Bald Dog made me laugh way too hard.

i chose to talk isseya down, i didn't catch it but i think we just left her on the floor crying? or something? did we kill her? like what happened there.

the art style, i have mixed feelings here. in general i think the stylization is actually fine, my biggest issue is with the character proportions. the heads are too goddamn big. full stop. it makes everything look off, & every time i see someone trying to figure out what's bothering them about the models, it can almost always be blamed on the head size relative to the body. the qunari have the worst of it, but the short neck/big head situation is rough for everyone*

*unless you look at dwarves, who have stockier builds and the ability to have actual curves (the body models are weirdly triangular?) & end up looking the best because of it.

fuck you if you wanted to have ass/thighs/tits above a downwards tilted a cup. i am so fascinated by the game's ability to let you be fat but not actually retain fat in areas that people typically do.

the high quality hair physics look really strange to me, it seems too slippery & i actually prefer how it moved when i turned this down.

combat is fun! very reminiscent of andromeda actually, a lot of mobility & flashy abilities. i played on the lowest settings because i wanted to do the story first, but even that was a good time and didn't drag on (i am looking at you dai). my girlfriend has tried a few other difficulties, it looks like mob size fluctuates as well as how armoured the enemies are.

camera tools is a plus for console players in particular. it's limited to non-cutscenes & i don't think you can toggle the ui off though, but it's still nice that it's there. (i still prefer to use other camera tools because i would rather pause cinematics.)

i can't argue about the way some topics being handled came off as corny or in your face, because it did. but on the flip side i've also seen a lot of people say they felt really seen by taash's storyline & were affected by it, so even if it was pretty unsubtle, i think it was overall a net good that it was there. this will absolutely be some people's introduction to Gender Things & i genuinely wish them the best with that. also taash's note in the codex about gender terms after talking with mae was actually pretty funny & mae's quote at the end was nice. despite being nb myself, i'm filing this portion of their storyline in the 'it's not for me but it's going to hit for someone & probably wouldn't have achieved that if it wasn't blatant in delivery.'

fade fish tank, 10/10 no notes.

overall, yeah, i would actually recommend that people give this a shot but to absolutely manage your expectations beforehand and understand that the goals here were to primarily wrap up with solas & give the devs a clean(er) slate for future installments. contrary to the impression given online in the weeks leading to release ('just headcanon it yourself' is imo the worst response that could have been given to people asking valid questions & will piss me off every time i remember it & this is why i say we need boundaries with creators online but anyway) it didn't come off as the fuck you i was quietly bracing myself for. there were parts left to be desired in execution (when aren't there) but it wasn't bad by any means. i think if you actually give it a fair chance, majority of people who play it can at least find a good couple things to be invested in. i'll always wonder what got scrapped & what suffered under production constraints, but i wouldn't call this a failure by any stretch. some of my predictions came true, some did not, some things i was genuinely surprised by & while i'm not remotely as attached to this game as i was to inquisition, i am still left quietly interested in what comes next.

[color-studios]

Hello! It's been a while since the last time I've posted on here. I'm having lots of personal issues related to my family at the moment, school has started up again, and I've been working day and night on my projects. But I think there are some things I should share! Firstly, I intend to begin a project soon that brings awareness to familial abuse, specifically focused on how it affects us long-term, as the effects are what make the events so terrible, yet they are rarely represented. This will be done through a game, and any profit from it will go toward therapy and, most importantly, moving away from my own abusive family. This is important, but not the only information I want to share. I want this post to be optimistic, so please don't view that previous statement as "This person is in a horrible situation" but rather "This person is actively working to escape their horrible situation". Now for something more positive that provides some context as to why I made this account and the things I intend to create. --- I've dedicated my entire life to my creations, and done so through many art forms. Maybe it has something to do with storytelling (including through visual art forms) being my special interest, but I've always paid great attention to art, writing, voice-acting, etc. and tried to understand the specific components of these art forms and how to use them efficiently. In doing so, I've noticed that the majority of advice we receive as artists (which again, refers to any art form) is typically not as useful as the professionals giving the advice intend it to be. It's difficult to describe these things, even as professionals, but even more difficult to describe these things in a way that others, especially that aren't professionals, will understand deeply enough to make use of that information. I've also noticed that lots of this advice tends to be heavily focused on beginners, making being and intermediate artist rather awkward. I intend to make content, mostly on YouTube (once I'm no longer living with my family, mostly because I can't record or even talk about art around them) for fellow artists where I provide advice from a new perspective, explaining the concepts in a way that not only teaches others what they refer to, but how to apply that knowledge efficiently (phrases like "show don't tell" are a good example of something not described efficiently by most teachers). I've created systems and diagrams that make planning, developing, and telling stories a much easier and more enjoyable process, removing the majority of the stress and confusion in the creation process, WITHOUT the use of AI or any other unethical things. I won't be making content as a teacher, but more-so as a peer. A fellow student that's simply sharing what they learned and that provides a platform where their peers can also share what they've learned. Sometimes, all you need is a fresh perspective to understand a common subject proficiently. Otherwise, these phrases go in one ear and out the other. I want to restore the love and energy in creative communities that modern drama and AI has stolen from us, and help people realize that they have the power to make their own dreams a reality. If any of this interests you, feel free to follow my account and I'll do my best to share what I can here, since I can't do so through videos yet.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Heaven and Hell: A History of the Afterlife. By Bart D. Ehrman. Simon and Schuster, 2020.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: history, religious studies

Series: N/A

Summary: What happens when we die? A recent Pew Research poll showed that 72% of Americans believe in a literal heaven, 58% in a literal hell. Most people who hold these beliefs are Christian and assume they are the age-old teachings of the Bible. But eternal rewards and punishments are found nowhere in the Old Testament and are not what Jesus or his disciples taught.

So where did the ideas come from?

In clear and compelling terms, Bart Ehrman recounts the long history of the afterlife, ranging from The Epic of Gilgamesh up to the writings of Augustine, focusing especially on the teachings of Jesus and his early followers. He discusses ancient guided tours of heaven and hell, in which a living person observes the sublime blessings of heaven for those who are saved and the horrifying torments of hell for the damned. Some of these accounts take the form of near death experiences, the oldest on record, with intriguing similarities to those reported today.

One of Ehrman’s startling conclusions is that there never was a single Greek, Jewish, or Christian understanding of the afterlife, but numerous competing views. Moreover, these views did not come from nowhere; they were intimately connected with the social, cultural, and historical worlds out of which they emerged. Only later, in the early Christian centuries, did they develop into the notions of eternal bliss or damnation widely accepted today.

As a historian, Ehrman obviously cannot provide a definitive answer to the question of what happens after death. In Heaven and Hell, he does the next best thing: by helping us reflect on where our ideas of the afterlife come from, he assures us that even if there may be something to hope for when we die, there is certainly nothing to fear.

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: descriptions of torment

I've heard Bart Ehrman's name a few times in my exploration of religious studies, but I don't know much about his scholarship. So, when I saw this book at my local independent bookstore, I decided to pick it up.

Overall, there were things I appreciated about this book, but personally, I don't think I can rate it a full 5 stars because I found the scope somewhat limited. Maybe that's by design, so I can't fault Ehrman too much, so take my criticisms with a grain of salt.

On the plus side, I found this book to be extremely accessible to a lay audience. Ehrman writes clearly and assumes little to know background knowledge, so someone who is just getting into religious studies or the history of Christianity can read this book without feeling like they are being "talked down to." I also appreciated Ehrman's statements stressing that the development of ideas is not linear, nor do entire groups of people accept all ideas at the same time; it's very clear from the writing that major developments in ideas about the afterlife happen in piecemeal, and Ehrman is careful to avoid generalizing about Jews and early Christians.

If you are someone with a more advanced understanding of the Bible or early church history, however, you might find this book of uneven usefulness. Ehrman only discusses the development of ideas up until about the 4th century CE, so any developments about heaven, hell, and purgatory after that period are not covered. Ehrman also primarily focuses on the major writers or works, tracing the development of ideas within the Bible itself and within the writings of heavy hitters like Augustine and Origen. While this is useful for those just getting into the study of early Christianity, it's not quite as useful for someone interested in getting a more nuanced view (especially if you're interested in things like commentary, both by Jewish and Christian authors).

Still, I think this book is a good start. Not every work has to be perfectly comprehensive and useful to all audiences, so Ehrman's work might be a good way to orient oneself in the study of the history of the Bible.

[the-final-sif]

Thanks so much for that overview and also providing that link to the transcript. I was distressed with the sudden bomb drop and people running around declaring he was a groomer.

But after looking over the DMs, it's very dry on his part? And he's not really initiating things?

Like I don't entirely see the smoking gun now. I also can no longer see the original thing where dream notes she's 18 (likely based on her bio) and she corrects him in a few messages to 18 soon which did make me uneasy I get that adults can also be groomed but I just see none of the manipulation on Dream's end. I don't see any pushiness. I don't see any drive to keep a conversation going, it's all on her end. And if anything she seems to be manipulative with the 'I have no friends' or 'I'm lonely' or mentioning the stuff about wanting to be a starting streamer. All of which read to me as 'Emotional Manipulation' and her trying to see if she can latch onto him and help rise. I dunno maybe I'm still missing something since I do no longer see a thread that includes that exchange of Dream noting she was 18 and she corrects him to 18 soon. Is that thread maybe saved somewhere else or is there a piece I'm missing? Sorry if you were about done with the discourse, but I've appreciated your thoughts and directing to information.

I think you're mixing up two different accusations.

To form a more clear timeline of events, there where two separate accusations against Dream.

The first set of accusations happened during the face reveal but only got attention afterwards. The accuser (Oxe) showed a screen recording of twitter dms, and in that appeared to have 18 in her profile. Those twitter dms took place back in 2020 when Dream was 20, and she was 17 ("18 soon" as she put it). Dream did say/appear to believe she was 18, and it was in the context of discussing school/the legality of dropping out. Those messages are also fairly dry.

Oxe alleged that Dream gave her his phone number, and then attached screenshots of flirty texts where the contact name/number were hidden, claiming they were from Dream. They claimed to show a recording of Dream being a contact on Tik Tok to prove this. People quickly pointed out that the texts in question didn't read anything like how Dream texts, and that it wouldn't make sense for Dream to still be using his old phone number from 2020 on his current tik tok. Some people looked at the tik tok recording, and there was some evidence it was edited.

Oxe did not accuse Dream of grooming, nor did she ever claim that she and Dream exchanged sexual messages/photos. She did claim that Dream had face revealed to her and she could prove it, but then backed down and admitted she couldn't before deactivating. Nothing has been heard from her since. It's worth noting her bf was engaged with leaktwt pretty heavily as well, and believed the minecraft sex mod allegations.

Dream stated in his twitlonger that he "did believe the twitter dms were real" (not confirmation, but also not shocking given there really wasn't much to them). But he refuted that he had ever texted/had further contact with the girl in question, and stated that his tik tok uses a google voice mail number which can't do i-messages like she showed. I'm inclined to believe him, because frankly the idea of him using any of his real numbers for his tik tok account is absurd, let alone a past phone number that has been doxxed.

The second accuser is Amanda, and her case is different. Her exact claims are somewhat hard for me to follow because they switched up between tweets, but this is my best understanding. Her allegation is that in the few weeks she was 17 between mid Jan 2022 and mid Feb 2022 (when she woud've turned 18), Dream sent her sexual photos on snapchat. She's claimed this, and has shown instagram dms (what I linked to) and snapchat dms that she claims are from him. We have no word on whether or not Dream contests the validity of the snapchat dms, but the snapchat dms shown don't offer much evidence on their own.

Regardless of validity, there is only a single snapchat message shown by her from before she turned 18, which is just a comment on snap score. Past that, all messages she showed were from after she turned 18. All of the snapchat messages shown are, at worst, flirty, and there aren't many. There's nothing overtly sexual or any kind of sexual photo that has been shown as evidence.

She's claimed that she and Dream were planning to meet up for sex in August 2022, but has also claimed that she got a boyfriend in April 2022 and that anything sexual between her and Dream stopped at that point. As best I can tell. The timeline/specifics for that part has been confusing for me too, so I am open to correction and please do not quote me on that.

There are no snapchat dms shown (regardless of whether any of them are real), that reference this meet up, there are no snapchat dms shown that reference anything sexual, or that reference her age at all. She's claimed she told Dream that she was 17, but no evidence of that has been provided.

Amanda stated several times on twitter that she had proof and that she was going to show it, but later backed down on that idea and instead said she "had no physical evidence" and she was no longer going to post on twitter because she was instead going to the police. She posted a photo of what appeared to be the inside of a police station, and hasn't posted much since. Her boyfriend said he was calling lawyers, and requested help finding one, but there's been no word on that since, and he has since deactivated his twitter account,

Since then, everything's been fairly quiet. There was a person named Bee who was able to provide what did appear to be a yearbook photo of Amanda. They stated that they went to school with Amanda and she had in the past (spring of this year I believe) made fake sexual instagram dms from Dream, that she got caught for. While the yearbook photo does provided evidence that Bee likely attended school with Amanda, they haven't/cannot provided evidence other than their word that Amanda faked the sexual instagram dms in the past. Bee stated that they don't know anything about the current situation or if anything is faked there, but they wanted to put out there that (according to their word) she had done this in the past.

That's about a rough & dirty summary of the two different situations. r/dreamwastaken2 has everything pretty well documented, sorry for not linking sources but this is a very long post already.

[spockandawe]

😍 I’ve been scrolling through your blog all evening, your work is BEAUTIFUL! I had no idea you could make books look so gorgeous. I’ve been interested in book binding for quite a while, but have been intimidated to take the first step. How did you get into it? Did you take classes, or follow something online? Or, do you already have a post where you talk about that? Seeing your work makes it seem so worth it, even if it seems intimidating to tackle 💖💖

Oh my goodness, than you so much!!! Sometimes I feel like I have a long ways to go, but then sometimes I take a step back and say, hey, this IS fairly rad, isn't it!

But I completely know what you mean about the craft seeming intimidating. I am here to tell you that the way it feels too overwhelming to get started is one of the main speed bumps about this craft, including for leveling up while inside it. I've got a number of projects I'm wrestling in terms of intimidation right now, even though I know I've dealt with this before, and what I do is probably going to be just FINE. Books are such, like.... iconic objects, it's hard to look at a fancy one and decide that you can totally do that too. But this is honestly a craft where I have an easier time encouraging beginners than many of my others, and I've got resources for you.

Where I got started!! It was honestly super trivial stuff, my dad doesn't love reading documents on his computer for work, and he showed me how he was printing off booklets and folding them in half and doing a line of stitches down the middle, and I was like '...........SO IF I WANTED TO PRESERVE A WEBNOVEL--' and things WENT from there. I started with what I could scrounge up on google, but there are better options, and a LOT of them, and a thriving ficbinding community which is pretty good (on tumblr at least) about sharing resources with each other.

So, what I'm about to go into here is largely focused on ficbinding and webnovels and other books with CONTENT, I know some people have a great time making blank notebooks, but my mind has always slid off those. If you're intimidated by the steps involved in formatting text for printing, that may be something you enjoy!!

I think I've got a few asks about this in my spock-replies or my bookbinding tag that go over similar information in different form, but this was the first one I tripped across, with my personal rundown of what I would use to get started with a casebound book (which is most of what I've done. If you're intimidated by a full hardcover with a covered spine, then a coptic bound book will provide similar function, with different construction and an open spine, but I still haven't gotten off my ass to do one of those yet, so I don't have resources on hand. I found my footing using Sealemon's videos, not just the one linked but some of the others as well. I tend to make beefy books that aren't suited to decorative binding styles, but I want to try that, someday. But I also have like ten projects in progress and things are kind of oh-god-let-me-off-mr-toad's-wild-ride, so... not yet.

After I got comfortable with Sealemon, I dug into the DAS bookbinding channel, which is a DELIGHT. The guy who runs the channel is incredibly chill and soothing to listen to, and he knows so much and has SUCH an archive of different techniques and styles. I still haven't gotten super adventurous, and honestly this is still a channel where I get intimidated about trying something new, but there's material that's not an intricate four-part series, there's things like doing a pamphlet binding. Other youtube channels with bookbinders tend to be very helpful as well, and some like annesi binding tackle cool topics that can be hard to find elsewhere. Part of the trouble with bookbinding is that a ton of cultures developed similar ideas independently and riffed on them for CENTURIES, so there is unimaginable variety in the creative space. Video works better for me to understand how it goes than written accounts do, but it's a huge space to find a comfortable nest in.

And!! In the middle of all this, i was pointed at @renegadepublishing, which is a community largely focused on ficbinding (but also open to other endeavors as well), and just a lovely place that's been so helpful to me. There are resource documents that I believe are in the sidebar, and I think there's a dreamwidth community as well where I think they've been crossposted. I know some people involved in that community also post on r/bookbinding, though if you're more interested in binding fanfic, there's also an r/ficbinding community that may be more tailored to your passions. I'm delighted that you liked my books, but renegadepublishing regularly reblogs things from other binders that leave me absolutely starry-eyed, and it's fantastic for inspiration as well as education!

Okay, I think that's what I've got for now. That was basically the slippery slide I fell down, where I just desperately wanted to preserve mxtx's books in english, before there was any hint of an official license. That directed me down a path of learning how to make Big Books, and my own attention span drove me to figure out how to do it fast. There was a long youtube spiral while also using the renegade resources to give me a second bonus perspective that helped me understand WHY i was doing certain things. Part of what helped me out is that I have a stubborn thing where 'what do you mean i can't buy X? fine, then i'm going to MAKE X.' and that served me well here. But also, I can't undersell the excitement of holding a book you made from a piece of beloved fanfiction for the first time (no matter how crooked it is!) and opening it, and seeing the words on the page, physically, and shaped like a real book, and that thrill has carried me forward through a year and a half of this nonsense.

[comradecrusty]

i get where you're coming from but the protests aren't a direct result of his presidency. this isn't a defense on him its an attack on the cops who are dangerous under every administration and have shown disregard for life far before that man was elected. he's a horrible person obviously

I was gonna write a whole essay insulting you for being uneducated and not paying attention, but I've calmed down and reread this ask a couple times. Apologies for any formatting issues, I'm on mobile as always.

To say that tr*mp is not directly responsible for these protests is ignorant when every tweet and every statement regarding these protests that that fat orange fuck has made has called the protesters thugs and the cops and "civilian forces" (read: white supremacists) good people, valuable assets, etc. along with blatantly encouraging the police and these white supremacists, that he KNOWS support him, to stop the protests with violence. (remember, "when the looting starts the shooting starts"?) These statements were, and still are, followed by videos of police all over the country initiating violence, being excited to "defend themselves" against nonviolent protesters, and committing violent crimes against said peaceful protesters, especially black and brown protesters, under the defense of calling them "looters". If you cannot see that his words have DIRECTLY ENCOURAGED the continuous violent actions of police and military occupying this country, then I truly cannot help you. If you refuse to hold our absolute fucking disgrace of a president responsible for his own words and actions, and the actions of the people he commands, accountable for those actions, I cannot help you. If you are choosing to refuse to make the connection between his words and the actions of the terrorists calling themselves police, then I cannot help you.

All I can say is PLEASE keep educating yourself and exposing yourself to as many independent sources of information as you can because these events CANNOT go unpunished. Social media and Twitter especially are great sources of information when televised or mainstream news sources are blatantly covering up and censoring videos that display obvious and gross police misconduct; Elijah Daniel started a trend under the BLUEFALL hashtag on Twitter where nearly 300 (or more now, as I have not personally counted them and have not checked for a count recently) videos of police brutality have been publically documented by protesters, but please be warned that these videos are exactly what I say they are: BRUTAL. Please do not go through the hashtag if you cannot stomach graphic violence because that's what you will find.

It's great that you know that both the police and tr*mp are evil forces, but you NEED to realize that they are directly connected and get more dangerous the longer they stay connected. The entire police system was corrupt before tr*mp ever got elected, I fully agree. Ob*ma wasn't a good president either regarding protests when they happened under his terms, but that doesn't mean that tr*mp and ob*ma both didn't make things worse, does it? Just because a system is already corrupt doesn't mean it can't be made worse, encouraged, or "justified" by whatever nightmare president is currently in office. Sure, the protests were started with the murder of George Floyd by police, but you cannot tell me that the officer, DAVID CHAUVIN, was not empowered to commit not only George Floyd's murder but several other violent offenses because of tr*mp's repeated defending of white supremacists and pigs like him. I cannot say whether George Floyd would be alive today if tr*mp never got elected, but i CAN say that he would have had a better chance of getting out of that situation alive if our president wasn't a white supremacist, racist, and all around scumfuck of a man who represented everything that d*vid ch*uvin stands for.

I hope this have been helpful or just given you a new opinion to take into your personal account of these events, I hope you have a good day and that you and your family are safe and healthy, and that you continue learning about and fighting oppression as everyone has a responsibility to. Feel free to dm me if you have questions (that goes for anyone, not just the asker.)

I'm no expert and I will never claim to be, nor is it my intent to spread misinformation or hurt the BLM movement in any way, and I highly encourage anyone who notices misinformation in posts I make myself or reblog to let me know immediately, so the post can be altered to state corrected information or be removed altogether.

Last but not least, FUCK COPS AND FUCK TRUMP.

[serpent-of-the-silver-plumes]

would you mind talking more about bart and unreliable narration? I always hear people say unreliable narration but I've never seen any concrete examples from media I actually consume so I'd love your thoughts

Oh absolutely!! I actually wrote a thing about this a while back but then went 'this is not well written' and it got buried in my drafts, so I’m glad to have an excuse to pull that up and rewrite it. (Also sorry, this got really long.)

Basically, at one point I was listening to a podcast (Be the Serpent, ep 4), and they categorize different kinds of unreliable narrators into three types: the narrator who knows they are lying to you, the narrator who is lying to themself (and therefore you), and the narrator who is lying because they are missing some key information. I would argue that the three main pov characters of the Bartimaeus Trilogy each represent a different type of these unreliable narrators.

Going in backwards order, Kitty is the narrator who lies because she is missing some key information, at least until the third book. As a commoner, even one who is part of a resistance movement, her knowledge of magic is extremely limited and biased. Were we to go off of her point of view alone, we would get an inaccurate view of this world and the power dynamics that exist within it: that magicians are somehow special in holding magic and that they have evil demons who work alongside them in shared mischief/hunger for power/whatever.

However, because the books include other points of view, the full impact of that unreliability is not realized.

Similarly, Nathaniel lies to himself, especially in the later books. He ignores how much he personally contributes to upholding a system that depends on the oppression and slavery of other sentient beings, and squashes down the last traces of his moral compass. I don’t think he ever really questions the system of government or if it should be there and work the way it does.

To some extent, we do see through his unreliability as well, because Bartimaeus is around to keep a check on him and tell the reader that no, the magicians and their imperialism are bad, that spirits have very good reason to hate humans, and give us other world building details that contradict what Nathaniel believes.

But some of it is about what is going on inside Nathaniel’s own head, so there is also a lot that can’t be fully seen by an outside perspective that has to be assumed by the reader. Like he will deny the sentimental feelings he has towards Ms. Underwood and the guilt he had over Kitty’s supposed death and the fact that he even remotely cares about Bartimaeus, but actions speak louder than words.

Because both of these characters’ unreliability stem from a lack of understanding, having other perspectives in the book in some ways cancels out their unreliability, and actually ties their unreliability more to their character development than as a plot/narration device. Kitty grows more reliable throughout the series while Nathaniel gets less so until the end. This doesn’t make that unreliability useless though, especially in a series aimed for children. By getting each character’s point of view, we can see where they are coming from and how the knowledge and views they have affect the way they act, but there is also someone else to point out how they are wrong, to make you question how true what each individual says is.

Bartimaeus is entirely different from the first two characters. His narration is told in first person, unlike Nathaniel and Kitty’s third person. He talks directly to the reader and goes off on tangential footnotes that are not necessarily part of the events currently happening in the story. Because of this narration style, he also has the power to lie more directly to the reader than any of the other characters.

Given his life, it is understandable how he has gotten into the habit of lying. Every moment of his existence on Earth is spent under the power of someone else, so he lies in order to protect himself. There are some instances where he lies to his masters in order to escape punishment or to lead them into danger so he can be set free, but he also lies about his feelings because he cannot afford to be emotionally vulnerable.

For the most part, I think it can be assumed that the dialogue and most actions that happen in his pov chapters are told as they are, since much of that lines up with what goes on in the other characters’ perspectives, and also there are at least a few things that show him in a less-than-flattering light that he would probably leave out or change if he could. Instead, the lies he tells are largely about his past and his emotions, often done through exaggeration or omission, and cannot be collaborated by others.

When lying about his past, Bartimaeus frequently exaggerates his prestige and role in history. In Ptolemy’s Gate, Bartimaeus says that he talked to King Solomon about Faquarl’s tendency to brag about his historical importance. Even beyond the obvious irony, in the prequel we see Bartimaeus’s time at Solomon’s court, and while it isn’t technically impossible for him to have talked to Solomon about Faquarl, the timing and circumstances make it extremely unlikely. Although his other stories cannot be proven or disproven with what we know, this instance and his general tendency to brag outrageously makes it very likely that Bartimaeus at the very least embellishes.

However, despite being super showy about his past, Bartimaeus doesn’t actually include much important information. He very rarely talks about his great feats as a thief or assassin or anything else. When he lists his accomplishments, he describes building walls and talking to important historical figures. There’s a post somewhere (if I find it, I’ll link it) that explains this as being a way for Bartimaeus to try to take control of his reputation and therefore his life; by associating with safer jobs, he is less likely to be summoned for very dangerous and morally reprehensible jobs.

He does generally try to portray himself as clever and collected and just generally more cool than he actually is. There’s a moment at the end of the first book where he describes himself as trying to calm Nathaniel who is freaking out, and then the next chapter is from Nathaniel’s pov which describes him as being the calmer one while Bartimaeus is a fly anxiously buzzing around.

I don’t remember the exact line, but in the second book there’s an exchange that goes something like this:

“____” I said calmly.

“Stop your whimpering,” Kitty said.

The way Bartimaeus portrays himself is straight up contradicted by the more factual account of the words and actions of someone else. And presumably there are plenty of other times that we do not see contradictory evidence where Bartimaeus straight up lies about how he is reacting to something.

But one of Bartimaeus’s most unreliable points centers around humans. Throughout the books, he constantly talks about the ways he has killed and would like to kill his masters, if given the opportunity. Nathaniel is an exception, one that Bartimaeus does admit to the reader, but even in the third book when he talks the most about how he would kill Nathaniel or even join a demon rebellion if Faquarl offered right then and there, Bartimaeus does not actually follow through on these threats when he gets the chance. Despite all of his talk about how much he hates humans, Bartimaeus has as much of a positive relationship he can have with as many humans possible, given the circumstances.

A lot of his unreliability centers around Ptolemy, which is what some of Bartimaeus’s biggest lies of omission are about. In the first book, we do get the sense that Bartimaeus has a soft spot for at least some humans. His excuses of saving and looking after Nathaniel in order to avoid Indefinite Confinement, while likely not entirely false, do fall a bit flat. We even get a mention of “a boy I had known once before, someone I had loved.” Although this is not explicitly connected to Ptolemy at this point, mentions of brown skin and the Nile make a pretty obvious connection to Ptolemy, especially as Bartimaeus describes taking on Ptolemy’s form several times later on. There is a less obvious hint too, “I sat on the ground, cross-legged, the way Ptolemy used to do.” Even without knowing much about what kind of relationship Bartimaeus had with Ptolemy, that kind of detail shows ‘a devotion to detail that could only come with genuine affection, or perhaps even love.’

It isn’t until the third book until we learn anything substantial about his relationship with Ptolemy, and even then he doesn’t tell the whole story. The fandom jokes about how Bartimaeus just casually mentions in a foot note that he prefers a lioness form because the manes are annoying, and it’s not until the flashback that you find out that the mane is part of what got Ptolemy killed. And even with the flashbacks, you still never see the time that Ptolemy visited the Other Place.

There are a lot of posts on this site that talk about how Bartimaeus absolutely was idealizing Ptolemy, and how there’s some evidence that he isn’t the perfectly sweet never-did-anything-wrong innocent child that Bartimaeus describes him as (notably that part where he was vaguely annoyed that people kept coming to him to ask for help and interrupted his research). Not that Ptolemy secretly sucks or anything, but it’s really easy to let nostalgia skip over the less dramatic details of Ptolemy being an actual human being with flaws.

In summary, I would argue that all of the trilogy protagonists are unreliable narrators to varying extents, and Jonathan Stroud is a genius for how he manages to make it all work.

[bill-y]

𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐄

Peeta mellark x male reader

We all know who Katniss Everdeen is, but what if Primrose hadn’t been chosen but another boy from another unfortunate family? YOUR family.

Info: This is basically a reader insert and I’ve changed a few rules, not ground breaking though. The reader is a bit bland for now but I plan for his actions to be different. Because he has different moral grounds from Katniss and such. Would appreciate feedback! FEEL FREE TO POINT OUT TYPOS. GRAMMARLY SOMETIMES DOESN’T DO MY DYSLEXIC ASS JUSTICE

Part one: Over there, buddy

Part two:You’re here right now. :)

Part three: Click here, pepperoni salami.

Wattpad account: L0calxDumbass

I separated with Gale and Katniss for a while, telling them I needed air. I sighed, leaping from branch to branch in the thicket of trees. Bread, not just bread, baker's bread. If I'm lucky I could get just enough squirrels for the baker, he had a taste for it but his wife was much of a witch, so he only buys it when she's not around.

I remembered how she found me stealing some burnt bread from the trashcan. I looked at her with wide eyes, frozen, I thought I was going to die, stealing was punishable for death, after all. But she just let me go, screaming about her frustration of Seams picking through her trash.

I got bread that day either way.

I landed on a sturdy branch, spotting a squirrel on the tree adjacent to me; it was quite huge, I'm sure he'd love this. Let's just hope the witch isn't home by the time I give this to him.

I crouched down, still as a statue as I watched the squirrel run up and down the tree. I pulled out the thin, glistening dagger, unwrapping its course, leather bindings, which became a makeshift thin rope. I felt my eyes unconsciously widen,  watching the squirrel's movements.

My arm aimed, then with a simple flick, the dagger whistled through the air. The small creature was then pinned to the bark of the tree through its eyes. The dagger's blade was thin enough to not damage anything when aimed right.

I pulled on the rope, the blade coming back, dragging the animal carcass with it. A small smile tugged on my face, I can get bread.

Kunal was surely panicking, he was the type to worry about the smallest of things. He once stepped on a cat's tail, Buttercup, Primrose's cat and he bawled, nobody could calm him down. Until he was offered food, that is.

I chuckled at the memory, slowly pulling the blade off the head of the squirrel. I held it in my hands victoriously, a grin on my face. I whistled a small 3 tone song, the chirping mocking birds falling silent before they imitated the tone.

After meeting up, we went back home, passing by the Hob. It was sort of a black market, where coals are transported directly to trains. I disliked it here, the amount of coal dust always bothered me, so when I come here I tend to cover my nose.

We managed to trade six of the fish for good bread, the other two for some salt. The lady who sells soup, the one that always glares at me because I've insulted her soup on multiple occasions, Greasy Sae: took half the greens we gathered, along with the dead dog meat that she calls "beef".

That's why I hate her soups, though it's not like I have much of an option, we can't afford luxury here. Unlike those obnoxious, entitled, privileged people in the Capitol. My jaw clenched at the mere thought of those scums.

We finish our business on the market, so we went to the mayor's house, who was particularly fond of strawberries. We knocked on the back door, his daughter, Madge opening it for us.

She's in Katniss and I's year sits beside us at almost every event because we don't really have groups of friends. For being the mayor's daughter you'd expect her to be an entitled brat or maybe a snob, but she was alright, she kept to herself.

I like that, I hate noisy people, They'll scare away the game, that and I've never really liked loud noises. I still remember the explosions in the mines, it was traumatizing, even though my father didn't meet death there. I really wished he had.

Madge didn't wear her usual attire, instead, she wore an expensive white dress, her blonde hair up with a pink ribbon. Reaping clothes. I felt my face scrunch up, that day was supposed to be a form of celebration. It's more of a way for the capitol to show who's in control.

We were being punished for the crimes of the people who failed, disguised as some form of celebration. It's disgusting.

"Pretty dress," Gale complimented. Madge shoots him a look, trying to see if it's genuine or if he was just being ironic. It was a pretty dress, but it was a waste.

She smiled, "Well, if I'm going to the Capitol, I want to look nice, don't I?"

I clenched my jaw, "But you won't be going to the Capitol," I said coolly, my voice monotone. My eyes landed on a small, circular pin on her dress. Real gold. The testament to the fact that she probably won't be chosen. "You probably have five entries, compared to us, that's a blessing."

"That's not her fault," Katniss said. Madge looked slightly hurt, probably because I've never really spoken my thoughts to her, I try my best to be polite when she engages a conversation with me.

"I know," I responded plainly. Madge smiled towards me, though it was clear it wasn't exactly genuine. She then handed the money for the berries. She looked towards Katniss "Good luck, Katniss"

"You too," She responded.

We walked toward the Seam, I can't help but feel angry. Her? Going to the Capitol? What a joke. When you're twelve your name gets put in the pile once, thirteen twice then so on. Up until your eighteen, where your name is entered seven times.

But the thing is, the rich have an advantage. You can enter your name willingly in the pile when you're starving in exchange for some tesserae. I had been doing this since I was twelve, having entered my name 3 times, for my mother, brother and myself.  Every year following suite, it has always been like this.

Now at the age of 16, I've entered my name twenty times, same with Katniss. Gale was in even greater danger, with a number of forty-two.

And she'll be the tribute this year? It can happen but it's deadly slim. I knew Gale felt the same way, listening to him rant about tesserae in the woods with Katniss was enough confirmation, along with the fact that I join in on the rants. Always end it with a promise to destroy the Capitol, somehow.

But what good does that do us?

Gale, Katniss and I divide our spoils, though it wasn't really the evenest distribution.  Gale got more, understandably since he has more mouths to feed.

"See you guys in the square," Katniss said, Gale nodded, "Wear something pretty," he joked.

I decided to stop by the bakery, by then the witch should be home but I took my chances. There was Mr Mellark, sitting outside, watching the pigs. He saw me from the corner of his eye, he grinned. "Greyback!' he called.

"Mr Mellark, still up for some squirrel?" I ask, holding the fat one up. He nodded, "You're lucky my wife isn't here, yet. Hold on, I'll get the bread for Kunal," he said, rushing inside.

I walked to the backdoor of the bakery so that he wouldn't trouble himself that much. I waited awkwardly outside, looking at a small bird fluttering about. I whistled, holding my finger out.

The bird landed on my finger, making me smile. From the corner of my eye, I saw a boy, blonde, stocky. Could probably kill me, if I'm being honest. Even though I was fast, I wasn't strong.

Soon enough, the bird flew away with the arrival of the baker, with a loaf of sweet, savoury bread, hot from the oven. "Here you go, Greyback."

I nodded, handing him the squirrel. "Oh!" he hummed, "Have you met my son, Peeta?" he asked, a smile on his face, "You're in the same year, yes?"

I didn't know what to say. Sure, I know him but I don't know that well him that well. My eyes travelled to the boy, who simply waved and briskly walked away. "I don't think so," I answered.

"I better be going, Mr Mellark. Nal needs his favourite bread after all," I said, flashing a small smile before I left. A small pit of dread boiled in my stomach, something bad is going to happen.

But then again, it's Reaping day, nothing good ever happens.

Word count: 1.3k

Tags:

@nin3s

:)))

[smolstarthief]

Persona 5/Persona 5 Strikers: Pro-Police or Anti-Police?

Hoo boy... So this honestly has been a LONG time coming on my end because I have seen so much of that debate on social media (Twitter namely) and I can see the points of BOTH sides but there have been moments where it just got out of hand... Especially whenever people tried to put in a more grey/nuanced take only to be slammed and taken out of context. Even repeatedly mentioning the interrogation at the beginning of P5 which, I will admit has gotten tiresome. At least for me, I do still feel for Joker and I wished the game acknowledged his trauma more but there's a thing called, "beating a dead horse" and this is one along with "Haru says ACAB" in Strikers (which was done THREE TIMES in the same arc and it got annoying fast, like shut up already! We get it!). So, let's dive in a little bit:

MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!

Persona 5/Persona 5 Royal

Now let me just say I know! Police in Japan are just as bad if not worse than the West and I STILL hate the idea of Makoto wanting to become a cop for such naive reasons (especially with what happened to Sae, her own sister!)... But there are at least some of form of nuances sometimes and by that I mean, I can see what they were trying to do? I do agree that P5/P5S backpedaled SEVERELY by deciding to sweep issues under the rug after addressing them and not continuing from such. In fact I feel like it could have been a hell of a lot better. But P5 did something different compared to previous games and addresses the issues DIRECTLY right at the beginning of said game! It was tense and horrifying, but needed. Of course... They then sweep it under the rug and act like nothing traumatic happened to our protag which is NOT a good look at all and I'm still pissed off about it. In the main game's case, it's portrayed as more black and white with only a SMALL amount of nuance like that cop that was trying to help Futaba when she went out by herself and got lost (which people ignore entirely by the way). So I CAN see where people got the "anti-police" message from... But that's only the tip of the iceberg as it's ACTUALLY more about Systematic Corruption, not exactly or JUST police corruption. Namely in politics with Shido and the Conspiracy (which is apparently still somewhat around in Strikers until Owada's downfall) controlling everything all the way to law enforcement. The force had been basically under his payroll (including the corrupt SIU Director before his death) whether by force or not (mostly not in this case though). Now honestly, the police depicted there are undoubtedly rotten to the core save for a VERY SMALL handful (the cop that was trying to help Futaba which, again, gets ignored by several). Look at the interrogators who ruthlessly beat and drug a minor without any second thought or remorse for example. But again, the black and white narrative the game kept unwittingly doing ended up being to its detriment in a way. I'm not defending those assholes AT ALL! They deserved every punishment given to them! But for a game that goes on about grey morality... It doesn't quite deliver on that. Still though, it does emphasize that it's more of the fault of the whole corrupt system, not just one part of it. There needs to be change and reform which is what our MCs were trying to do in a way (more like inspiring change but still). In the end, it's all about the following:

Corruption and abuse of power.

Again the police depicted in this game were incompetent at best, corrupt at worse with very few silver linings. But it's not just them but rather the one person responsible for the whole mess. Who had them under his payroll? Who controlled them and by extension all of Tokyo? Who was willing to dispose of anyone who "outlives their usefulness" or is perceived as a threat to what he wants (including his own family)?

SHIDO AND BY EXTENSION THE CONSPIRACY

Bottom line: They are definitely a problem but it's not just them.

"But, Joker and his trauma?"

I definitely understand that and still do. I fully believe he has and still has trauma with the police. Easy! But... I do feel like people go too far with it sometimes. It's hard to explain but there have been moments where people either use it as a justification/argument against someone trying to provide a more nuanced view of things or... Dare I say, depict him like a "uwu soft traumatized boi." Like I said, it's hard to explain on my end so feel free to ignore it. Everyone deals with trauma differently so there is STRONG chance that I'm overanalyzing it. I just remember moments where I just feel a little, I guess annoyed? I'm not sure exactly but final thing: I understand what he went through and I can't imagine how long it would take to recover but I hope he DOES overcome it.

"Sae? Akechi?"

Yep, even though their jobs are different, they are by and large members of law enforcement no matter how you spin it. Both were broken in a way. Akechi is pretty easy to explain with how Shido negatively impacted his life but not much about Sae, who dealt with sexism/misogyny at her workplace along with the trauma of her father's (also a cop) death. She no doubt had some idealism only to be hit with the fact that she's gonna have to use underhanded/downright illegal tactics to get by and even rise up the ranks. She, therefore ended up (well, nearly) corrupted herself before coming to her senses. That's honestly one of the BIGGEST REASONS why I felt like Makoto joining the force to become a police commissioner isn't a good, even a downright naïve, idea. I honestly would have been somewhat fine with it if it weren't for that fact among other things. Regardless of her willpower, it will go south fast.

Now... Onto Strikers!

Persona 5 Strikers

Since the game came out and I started playing it, I still feel like the system is still beyond saving, especially when attempting to do it from the inside. But I don't mind the added nuances that P5 didn't do much of. It's still continuing the critiques, just shows more of what does happen within said system and even has an ACTUAL officer (Zenkichi) say, "Yeah, my job sucks, everyone's corrupt, there are much better ways to do things and make a change but not this. I'm only staying because I have a daughter to take care of and it's all I know. I'm no different from them." Was it all handled well? I wouldn't say "yes" (Joker's trauma is BARELY addressed at all of course) but a little better than what P5's narrative did which only addressed the issues but not exactly follow up on them. Now to be fair... In the system, regardless of where you live, any one within it who remotely tries to do something or speak against it either lose their jobs or even go "missing" irl. Those have happened and it's more proof that yeah, it's rotten to the core. There's no denying it but regardless, that's NOT what the game is about at all. At least that's what I feel about it as it's only PART of the narrative. I think Zenkichi puts it best here:

Speaking of Zenkichi... Oh boy... Now I definitely understand some of the criticisms with him but honestly, he was the best written (PT) character I've ever encountered! He was honestly the perfect representation of those that genuinely want to help and do good, only to be held back by an extremely harsh reality. It was already hinted at with Sae but here? It 100 percent confirms just how harsh and even cutthroat it can be if it could break someone's idealism so badly. Even Kaburagi of all people thinks the same thing Zenkichi said:

Then there's his past and it's a tragic one! But let's look more at the decisions he ended up making:

While it was no doubt done to protect his daughter, he ended making a selfish decision along with a selfless one (which was brilliant!) with not only allowing the cover up of his wife's death and denying justice for her, but also ruining an innocent person and their family's lives.

It's horrible, but also... There's a grey area/nuance as with the rest of his character. It was both understandable, but also wrong as he, as Akane's Shadow puts it:

He sacrificed his values, his morals, all for the sake of having a peace of mind. Speaking of Akane, she's also an interesting case in a way that she more or less perfectly represents the more "black and white" views on justice in general. Namely the more toxic/biased kind. Her reasons are also understandable but she was also acting selfishly by only focusing on how SHE was effected by Aoi's death and not even considering those that were also grieving her death and/or that people grieve/handle grief differently than her. But back on topic.

Her own views and beliefs that law enforcement basically SHOULD be dismantled (mostly out of said childish bias and black & white views) and it's framed as WRONG and it's very much correct on that. Chaos and order are two sides of the same coin, one can't exist without the other. When I say ACAB, I'm calling for reform, defund, have the corrupt held accountable for EVERYTHING and even face jail time for their crimes! Defund the police, have the ones that arrest, harm, and even murder out of bias (race, gender, etc.), lose their badges/jobs and locked up, make improvements! It's saying that there IS still corruption out there and there's no denying it. But fully eliminating the law in general will just lead to more problems. Now granted, she's young and clearly doesn't fully understand why those views are ultimately wrong but still... It was a very interesting subject to tackle and I feel like they handled it well.

Now back to Zenkichi, he was at first in denial about his decisions ultimately being the wrong ones too and even tries to justify it. Of course, his Shadow said otherwise and that was when he finally admitted that he really did act no different from the criminals he despised. But it also doesn't mean he can't redeem himself and that's what ultimately leads to his new resolve:

That right there along with everything else! There's the nuance! And ultimately despite some hiccups, Strikers handled the grey morality and nuance beautifully! Especially regarding law enforcement! Dare I say, even better than the base game! It continues the critiques with no problem but also showing different sides and areas of it! There is good and evil, but what about in-between? What about the more greyer area? It still says that there IS corruption, sometimes even beyond saving but... Sometimes a small silver lining is hidden somewhere.

Now, the ultimate question:

Is P5 & P5S (namely the latter) Pro-Police or Anti-Police?

Personally, my answer is this: Neither.

Why? What theme do they both have in common?

JUSTICE

Someone puts it best on Twitter that the games are more pro-justice and I fully agree!

P5/P5S gives the idea about following your OWN justice, your OWN moral code and rules, paving your OWN path and not let others dictate it! That's what the MCs ultimately start to learn in both games. Therefore it's pro-justice. Again, do I agree that the system is beyond saving? Yeah. Do I at least acknowledge and understand what the narratives are trying to say and nuances regardless even if I don't agree with some writing decisions (ex: Makoto wanting to become a commissioner despite everything)? Also yes. But at the same time, don't judge a book by its cover for other people (not just law enforcement and politics mind you). Especially some that genuinely DO want to help at best. That there is nuance and greyness, just have to look closely. Some of the MCs are still TERRIBLY written and executed (even annoying) but the message was still somewhat there.

Final Thoughts

Now I fully understand how you all feel of course! I still believe in ACAB and even I agree that maybe I'm one to talk and have a lot more to learn about the world... This is just my own attempt at putting my own two cents in. If you disagree, that's fine! This is just what I've felt should be at least talked about more often. And I tried to phrase it as best as I can without coming off as insensitive or ignorant and if I did, I sincerely apologize for that! I'm not trying to say, come off as a "bootlicker" or any of the sort. I'm just trying show discuss more of the grey areas and nuances that are, more often than not, constantly overlooked. How one interprets both games is ultimately up to them. You, the player. And this is my own interpretation. Simple as that. I hope you all have a good day/afternoon/evening!

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can i say a sort of pointless rambly thing i was thinking about that i can't put under the cut bc i'm on mobile?

jk, i'm not actually asking. ramble below, not edited for clarity. the following is completely unclear and i will not fix it:

i've been thinking about how part of the reason i'm so chill about caryl is bc growing up as a queer woc 99% of my main ships were like, never gonna fucking happen bc they literally couldn't. it was like, "omg, they gazed at each other from across the room, let's analyze the homosexual subtext of this one scene for the next fifty years, that's not necessarily hyperbole." i've watched all my ships fuck other ppl/have other love interests, and i knew that my thing was never gonna be canon, so to see like, one thing being like, "one half of my ship fucked another person several years ago while pining for the other half of my ship," i'm like...#nice, bc that can and likely will be used as a plot point to get them together later on, whereas in other situations i've been in i just kinda had to deal with it. so my impulse when i see ppl losing their shit is to be like

and to be slightly annoyed, tbh, bc the ship is still on track to be canon, and it's like, literally two white heterosexuals, they're prime candidates for juicy angsty pining that actually gets a resolution.

but!

that being said, i recognize that that attitude isn't necessarily fair. for one thing, i'm not the only queer woc (or some variation thereof) in this fandom, and some ppl's impulse might be exasperation instead, bc like, "wtf, even my mayohet ship has dumb fucking drama," and that's valid as hell, and i get it.

and also, i get that, even if you didn't grow up shipping impossible ships (or mulder/scully, bc that's a brand of bullshit all its own), this has been a suuuuper drawn out process where sometimes it feels like they're legit sprinkling crumbs to keep you hooked, just to play you again, and when you are invested in something, like /rly/ invested, especially if it's a form of escapism or hyperfixation or whatever, that can be e x h a u s t i n g. and i get that. i truly do, and while i make a lot of snide comments about the fandom being bonkers, i do get where the bulk of you are coming from (unless you're one of those ppl who hate on actors and esp actresses for just doing their jobs, and attack them on social media, in which case i am very much judging you and you need to get your life together).

i also realize that in the scheme of things i'm still a newbie. i've been here, what, twoish/threeish years, whereas some of you have been here since the beginning, so i'm not as worn out as y'all. but i also think that gives me a bit of objectivity that some of y'all have (understandably) lost.

my positivity is not meant as a sleight against those of you who are feeling negative, but is more of a semi-objective viewpoint (i say semi, bc lbr, i'm invested af in this, so i definitely have bias), and to me the threads of the storyline they're crafting seem sort of obvious.

like, let's look at it, yeah? they have one season left of this show that has been on for over a decade. they need to cater to everyone to give them a satisfying ending, while still hanging on to carylers bc of the spin-off. darylrreah seems like a very calculated move, bc it gives them both something to make abcers happy, while also creating tension and suspense and pining for carylers (i think they might underestimate just how fed up some carylers are tbh, and are banking on us to hang on for one last ride, which, honestly? if they play it right will probably work.)

if they end up doing a dumb love triangle thing, which, without seeing the episode and gauging the subtext i can't confidently say if i think they will or won't, it will ultimately end in our favor. it has to, bc leah isn't going to third wheel them on the bike in the spin-off. we can say with good authority that whatever that relationship ends up being (again, idk if they'll drag it out or not) it will be temporary. which leaves caryl open to ride off into the sunset and then bone down in every state in the united states and in puerto rico for good measure.

it's a lot of cheap drama, but i really and truly do not think it's anything to worry about, and i still really and truly trust kang to not make it out of character. ik ppl still don't agree with me on that point, and i'm not gonna argue, but to me it really does make perfect sense.

and i also predict that they are gonna play it up hardcore in the promotional shit and talking dead, but when that happens, remember it's bc it gets attention. regardless of where the story is ultimately going, relationship drama gets attention, which gets viewers, which gets amc and twd producers nice and comfy with full pockets

idk. to sum up ig i just wanted to clarify that i don't mean any harm with my relentless positivity. my history in fandom has just made this seem like nothing in comparison, bc while ppl are freaking out, i'm like, "oh damn, they're actually gonna get together by the end of this, aren't they? i didn't know that could happen!" and that makes me excited instead of upset

and you definitely don't have to listen to me. maybe i'm actually wrong. maybe i'm completely full of bullshit and am just good at making things sound confident. i got a lot of As on papers in college over books i never read, i know how to bs. but i also know how to analyze, and i while i will be the first to tell you i am not the best at a great many things, i do know that i am good at critically analyzing text while taking into account the context it was written in, and imho all signs point to canon caryl. when, i'm not entirely sure, but i see it happening. if it doesn't then they severely fucked up their storytelling, and that'd just be bad writing on their part.

(if you want proof that i'm good at reading writers'/producers' intentions, consider that i watched like, 8 seasons of supernatural before giving up, and said to myself, "i think they're gonna make destiel canon, but not until the very last second bc they are rly into catering to their fans but also have to consider their dumb fanboy audience so they can't do anything crazy overtly gay," and guess who hit the nail on the fucking head on that one)

none of this is important, but it was rattling around my mind grapes and i wanted to write it down into something vaguely coherent, and where else better to do it than here. i can word vomit and then send it into the ether and pretend i never said a thing. i love this horrible website, nothing can compare

i have no real conclusion to this, it was mostly stream of consciousness, but i hope it sort of helps y'all understand where i'm coming from, and why i am as chill as i am about things. not about y'all. y'all cause me so much anxiety i get physically sick and have to legit block tags, but with the actual show content i'm zen as hell

uh

the end ig?

it feels weird even signing off on this, but w/e

-diz

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 39

The Road So Far

Is this still worth it?

The SEVEN Inch Wound

Gary 'Roach' Sanderson

Task Force 141 Base - Gym

Roach finally got his seal of approval. After weeks of physical therapy and daily check ups, he was now finally fit for battle and he was lucky enough that Nero was still under the radar. He wouldn't want to miss out on the battle he started. He was lucky enough that they were exonerated when Shepherd surrendered, because if they continued to be fugitives, Roach would not have access to appropriate medical attention.

It has been almost a month after the events in Afghanistan and Task Force 141 was already re-established, Samantha and Maxine were housed on a nearby compound where veteran's families lived under the safety of government protection. During his time in the infirmary, Maxine was always there to visit, telling him tales about dreams she recovered as time went by. Roach was glad she was returning to normal and that no matter how her memories came back, her treatment towards him was the same.

"Good to see you back on your feet, my man." Rocket went up to him and did their fist bump, a series of elaborate claps then finished off with finger guns accompanied by their almost realistic attempt at pistol fires.

"Haha. Yeah? I'm glad I'm back." He waved as Rocket pointed at his back. Roach turned to see Maxine, carrying a packed lunch, waiting at the end of the hallway.

"Hey you. Just in time for lunch as always." He smiled, wrapping an arm around her as they made their way to the mess hall.

"Glad to see you smiling and walking about." She says, as her palms ran across his firm chest, tracing the scar that changed his life.

"Yeah, finally passed the damn physical test." He grinned as they sat down at their usual table, the only table which consisted of two tables stuck together to form an eight seater.

The rest of Roach's closest comrades were already there. Alex, guessing what Samantha packed for him. Soap and France arguing which meal choice was best for them and Ghost, who was already halfway through his lunch while the rest of his comrades haven't even started yet.

"Good to have you back, buddy." Ghost greeted with a wide grin on his face, well technically only half of his face was shown.

"Hey man. I sure am glad. How have you been doing?" he joked. They constantly visit him in their free time, so there was actually nothing to catch up on.

"The rest of the squad proceeded to badger Roach with questions about everything they wanted to know. Roach enjoyed the hot seat as the military mess hall felt like the university cafeteria.

"So, any news about Nero?" He finally asked as soon as everyone was done with him. The table felt awfully quiet.

"None." France was the first to speak up. Everyone else nodded and frowned.

"Shit. Guess our only choice is to wait." He added.

"Shepherd didn't have any leads towards Nero. Their last contact was the exchange of blueprints and after that, he was gone." Soap explained the situation.

"The missing persons?" Gary asked.

"Still missing." Alex commented.

"And there are still a few additions every other day as indicated by the FBI and DHS." Ghost added.

"Is interpol still involved?" Roach turned to Ghost.

"They're still after the traces of EMP equipment from the missing persons. Their new lead is that Nero's team is trying out a lethal kind of grenade. One that explodes without damaging property. If he's planning invasion, this is actually a good idea without ruining too much of the invaded country." He replied. Roach nodded at the theory. EMPs only damage mechanical equipment and this was a good call for the bad side.

"I never knew they'd think of this kind of weaponry. I always expected bioweapons being the last of modern warfare." Ghost muttered.

"Well, that was what happened in Verdansk and we stopped it. We could do that again." Alex tried to boost morale.

"Yeah. We'll do whatever it takes." Roach agreed and they continued lunch.

By the time he started training, Roach focused back on his Sniper techniques. His wound may have affected his previous breathing training and it was only inevitable that he'd train it again. He wanted to master the long ranged rifle as it was vital towards his development as a soldier.

"Back on the scope huh." Ghost huffed as they reached their 200 yard mark, by the hill just outside the base.

"Glad you could help me on this one." Roach unzipped the sniper bag and began scouting the area.

"You sure this is your spot?" Ghost asked, using his hand as a visor against the hot afternoon sun.

"Yeah. This fits."

"Suit yourself." He chuckled as Roach snapped every attachment of the rifle, from the bipod stand to the clicker adjustments.

He peeked at the scope and looked at his target. Five small cans standing on top of a log 200 yards away.

"Remember what I told you." Ghost mused as he looked at Roach steadying his breathing.

"Damn." He added as he noticed the change in wind.

"Yeah, damn. I just was about to fire it." Roach muttered as he took another deep breath and began to hold still as his crosshairs adjusted to the shift.

A loud fire echoed across the hills as dust scattered on the ground where Roach fired. He was about a few inches off.

"Great. Do that again but change your adjustments." Ghost said as consolation.

"Yeah got it." He rolled his dial once again and accounted for the wind, easing his breath and fired again. The loud sound once again echoed through the hills, followed by a soft metal can flying away from the log.

"There you go! A clean hit." Ghost congratulated as he tapped Roach's back while he reloaded his sniper and aimed again.

Roach stayed at that spot until it was too dark to continue and Ghost accompanied him until such time. On their way back, Ghost opened up to something that has been bothering him ever since.

"Roach. Do you mind if I say something important?" He asked and it made Roach stop on his tracks.

"Yeah. What's up." Roach asked.

"I've already sent my formal letter, but I just wanted you to have a heads up on the matter." Formal letter. Roach's heart started to pound as his mind automatically thought of him quitting or leaving.

"Letter about?" he asked. His mouth almost felt dry. He didn't want him to leave. Not again.

"Transferring department. Alexandra offered me a spot on the Interpol. I told you this first because I knew that if you were on my shoes, you'd go too, right? Do whatever makes you happy?" he said, quoting Roach's famous words.

He isn't wrong about doing what makes him happy, but his decision didn't feel right either, or maybe because he just doesn't want Ghost to go.

"Well, you bet I'd go for that option too!" Roach said, trying to validate his decision despite not wanting it. It was sad to see him go, but for the first time in ages, Ghost actually acknowledged the term happy.

"I knew you'd understand." he smiled and continued their trail back to the base where Roach remained quiet until they reached the base just in time for dinner.

After dinner, Roach opted for a night jog around the base to clear his mind off of Ghost leaving. After the second lap, he soon noticed Alex catching up to him.

"Wonderful weather for an evening run, huh?" He asked all cheery as he's quite used to his heavier and more realistic leg.

"Yeah. It is. Good to see you're liking Samantha's surprise." Gary nodded and removed his earphones.

"You know, it's really a surprise when I'm the only one who doesn't know about it." He commented.

"It feels like a real leg, actually. The wonders of modern technology never ceases to amaze me." He mused as they both took the turn.

"Yeah? That's good to hear. Pretty sure Samantha loved the way you thanked her." Roach teased as Alex chuckled, like he recalled some memory.

"Oh yeah, she did." Alex nodded suggestively, the kind that Roach didn't want to ask anymore.

"This your last lap?" Roach asked as Alex slowed down for his cooldown, turning to the set of exercise bars.

"Yep. See ya!" He waved as he started his cooldown.

Gary took three more laps just to make sure he's exhausted for the night, so that once he got in his bed, no more thoughts would assault his mind, hindering him from sleep.

There was only one way out of it. And it was accepting Ghost's inevitable departure from the 141.

The next morning, the 141 was briefed on a possible lead on Nero. This time, Ghost wasn't in the room and that meant that his letter was now approved.

"Okay lads. We've received word on a supply drop activity from Nero. We intercepted an unencrypted call signal to an abandoned port just off the coast of Sierra Leone, Africa. If intel is correct, we're going to be dealing with someone who goes by 'Volt', Nero's bomb maker." Price paced in front of the huge screen showing details regarding their mission.

"Volt is a high value individual who must not be killed. He's our only hope towards Nero. The intercepted call came from the USA, and it's quite impossible that Nero is here, so he must've used a secure line. Jack will be staying in the base as our new Operations Command as suggested by Laswell. Overlord will continue his role as our commanding officer as well." Price added making clear about the jurisdiction.

"Damp and dry Africa." Soap muttered.

"Have you been there?" France asked.

"Only in Egypt. My mom used to tag me along her trips." he replied.

"Recon suggests a high chance of militia activity, so our standard rules of engagement; treat anyone as hostile. Volt's compound will be surrounded by his own personal army and they're willing to shoot any unwanted visitors. He also has access to a port, so I'm sending the Charlie team to stand by the shore and make sure they're not planning an escape." he added.

"I'm leading the Alpha team and our task is to infiltrate his base and secure Volt for intel. Bravo team, led by Alex, will act as our support when things go south. As bonus, we need to destroy any trace of bomb making equipment.

Roach, I want you to man our new air support tools from above as soon as we confirm that there are no SAMs on his base." He shot his glare on Roach and he nodded. Guess he isn't on the ground tomorrow.

"We leave tomorrow at 0300. Make your necessary preparations especially on our brand new comms equipment. Ones that are immune to EMP blasts. Dismissed." He said as everyone got up and went on their way. Gary purposefully left himself behind so he could ask Price about the Ghost situation.

"Hey there lad. You feeling good?" Price approached as soon as he noticed Roach.

"I just have a question about the mission."

"Sure. What about it? Any suggestions?"

"No no. The plan is fine. Where will Ghost be?" Price gave him a worried stare.

"Ah. Didn't he tell you about his transfer?" He crossed his arms and stared at Roach.

"He did… but why did you allow it?"

"Well, it certainly looked like he was happy to go there. And I had no power over his commendations." Price reasoned as they walked out of the briefing room.

"Oh. I thought he was going to have one last mission with us." Roach smiled as he walked back to the room. Ghost wasn't a fan of goodbyes. Maybe because he knew they'll meet again.

0300H

Sierra Leone, Africa

"This is Hunter One-One requesting sitrep, over." Roach phoned his allies who were already on the ground for support. This mission was their vital lead towards Nero. He wished that the guy Volt was here so that they could finally finish the war before everyone else gets hurt.

Before he could man the air support, he needed to confirm that there were no SAMs present on their base so he could safely provide suppressing fire from above.

Next Chapter : The SIXth Ship

Notification Squad my Beloved

@whimsywispsblog @ricinbach @bumblingbee1 @smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio

[meenah-chan]

Quintessence

A Lucifer x MC's Over-protective! Sister fanfic

3.17k words

Genre: Angst

Trigger warnings: mentions violence, self-inflictions; read at your own discretion.

Chapter 1: click here

Chapter 2: click here

"If there's anyone who will understand her, it's you. So I'll leave her to you..."

"Don't touch me, you monster!"

Chapter 3

*scribbles scribbles*

" ...I could never forgive myself for what happened."

*scribbles scribbles*

"Let's just say that a drive to protect MC and a drive to live are two different things. And I've been searching for the latter to no avail." Lucifer sighs from the lack of focus on his work. Her words replays on his thoughts countless of times already. He couldn't seem to take her off his mind this past few days.

Since that morning, she acts like her usual self. It is a good thing. It is a good thing that his forceful interrogation didn't cause trouble.

He shouldn't bother dwelling on it anymore. He shouldn't be, but... Acting like nothing happened is far more disturbing... He combs his fingers through his locks, deep in thought.

"...fer... Lucifer!" A sensation on his shoulder brought him back to reality. "Are you okay?" His orbs, traces the hand atop his shoulder to the aquamarine eyes, observing him.

"...No, it's nothing. I was just thinking about something." He massaged between his brows.

"You should rest if your tired." Her worry shows between her brows.

"I'll finish this. We're almost done anyways... More importantly, do you have any concerns?"

"Ahh, I already finished my part. Please do check it." He picked up the papers she gave. Despite what happened, she actually continued helping him with his works, which made everything easier.

"Hmm, you did well. You may leave now. I'll take a break once I'm done."

"Then, how about having a tea? I prepared some cookies a while ago." She placed her palms atop his desk, as if persuading him.

"Cookies?"

"Yeah, as an apology and thank you gift." A light shade of pink tinted her cheek for a second didn't went unnoticed by the demon.

"Huh? Did you do something I'll get angry for once?"

"I just felt bad I doubt you when we first met. I even tied you with me in a pact. And I'm glad you and your brothers are there to keep my sister safe. Thank you." She smiled at him sincerely. The one he could only see her flash for her sibling.

"That's fine by me."

"Then, I'll be waiting by the garden." Once a thud of the door was heard in the room, another sigh escaped his lips.

It's reasonable she's always on my mind, I've been spending more time with her after all. And I have less work to worry about that she took over its spot... Propping his forehead on his clasped knuckles, he tried to make sense of his current sentiments.

"... Let's get this all done or the tea might get cold." He moves his hands to work faster. Spending a bit more time alone with her is not so bad anyways...

-----

Spending time alone with her is not the right term. As soon as he arrives at the garden, the rowdy bunch was already in there, surrounding a sizable table.

"Alexandria, I see you didn't inform me that everyone will be here." With twitching eyebrow, he held the teacup to his lips, trying to ignore the crunching and chattering noise.

"But I did say I want to thank you and your brothers so it's only natural that they are here." She casually sip on hers, sitting adjacent to the eldest.

"Alexa *crunch crunch* your cookies is *crunch crunch* so good." Beel grins beside her as he stuff his face with his share of cookies.

She shook her head. "I wouldn't say it's my cookies. MC and Luke also made that."

"But most of it is made by you. And we just followed your recipe." MC contradicts before stuffing a whole cookie in her mouth.

"Well, that's true... Oh, Beel, try this one. This is my favorite." She extended out a cookie cream tart towards him. Having both of his hands full of cookies, Beel ate directly off her finger.

"Hmm~!" Alexandria giggled from the blissful face the orange demon is making. "Your face is full of crumbs." She proceed wiping his cheeks with her handkerchief.

"..." Feeling as if two ominous orbs bore behind her skull she glanced back, confirming her suspicion. He's angry...

"Uhh, Lucifer. Here, have some more." She filled his empty plate with cookie cream tarts. He gaze at the plate before looking back at her.

"I'm good." Yeah... He's angry... I guess thanking him with everyone is a wrong move. I have graver offense to him than others after all.

"Ahh! How about some eclairs? I can make you one right now." She learned his preference a few days ago when he made a big fuss of Mammon eating his eclairs, and tried coaxing him to a good mood.

He stared at him for moment before replying, "Make it some other time." Coaxing failed... "It'll be made for me alone." ...or maybe not. She smiled.

"Hmph... Selfish demon." The seventh-born huffs.

"Are you saying something, Belphegor?" The eldest and the youngest brother glared daggers.

"Now, now... The tea will turn sour." Alexandria tried settling the tense atmosphere she just mended before it get worse.

"By the way Alexa, MC, they released the anime adaptation of 'The Great Detective from the Pits of the Underworld' today! Let's watch it after this." Amidst sitting beside the growling Belphegor, sparkles filled Leviathan's background as he enthusiastically spoke.

"No, Alexa is coming with me. She still hasn't finished briefing me of the best books she read on the human realm." Satan interrupted.

"Alexa~ I bought a new salamander hydrating mask. It's a must-try product! Let's use it right now!" Sitting across her, Asmodeus reached for her hand, completely ignoring the already-fighting otaku and bookworm.

I guess a peaceful afternoon tea is impossible with everyone. Bickers and commotion fills the big table, only to be interrupted by a buzz of a phone.

"...Yes! Oi Alexa! 'Ya see this?" Mammon waves the screen of his D.D.D. "I hit a jackpot! It says it'll increase my investment by tenfold in just 3 days if I register right away! I'll pay MC, just 'ya wait." He return his attention back on it and moves his fingers across the screen.

"Name... Bank account... Passco... Hey!" Just before he completed filling up the form, his device elevates off his grasp. Glancing behind, he saw the older female, his D.D.D on hand.

"What'cha doin'!?" He struggled snatching his D.D.D back only to fail.

"Fixing your mistake. You're one click away from being scammed, you idiot."

"Gimme back–"

"My bad guys. I can't tend to your requests right now. This idiot needs an Investment Crash Course."

"What?" "That's unfair!" "But... TSL..." Bickers and squabbles start flying everywhere yet again. But this time, it's all directed at her and the second-born.

"What a mess..." Lucifer sighed.

"Mess you say, Lucifer? You're the one to talk. You've been keeping her all to yourself." Satan glared at him. The eldest of the brothers just facepalmed as he watch the already rowdy garden went even livelier than before.

"Isn't she bizarre?" The little sister suddenly spoke beside him. "She's a charismatic, thoughtful and a wonderful person. Yet she still have no boyfriend... If only she became more open with anyone after me."

"Really?"

"Will you believe she pushes me away during our first meetings?" She laughed. "I was so young I have no much recollection but... I do remember I bugged her alot, and she suddenly go all mushy after some time."

"... She is caring and everything but sometimes I feel she's suppressing herself, like she's protecting me from something. Like, it's something I shouldn't know. She's similar to you, don't you agree?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Hmmp, tsundere."

"What did you just say?"

"I guess she won't reveal it to me, I'm her pure, beloved sister she'll protect to the end of the world after all. If there's anyone who will understand her, it's you. So I'll leave her to you, her demon and soulmate."

"Just so you know, having pact doesn't make her my soulmate."

"No, she is. She is alike to you in so many ways, you have natural affinity and you got along despite such repulsive first meeting. To top it of, you have that indestructible bond with each other. You are soulmates."

"..." With no rebuttal he stared at the young female. He then glance at Alexandria who is busy with the noisy bunch to hear what they are talking about.

An enigma she is. With more things MC mentioned him, he knew she won't leave his mind anytime soon.

-------

Basked under the crimson dusk atop a hill, two young girls sat a few feet apart another.

"Stop bothering me. I don't have plans of befriending anyone." radiating with annoyance, one of the girls interjects.

"But I want to. And I don't see any problems in doing so." The second girl shakes the spark off as if it's nothing.

"You wouldn't dare to, if you ever knew."

"Know... What... You mean, that..." The younger girl, point a finger not far from her direction.

As soon as the older girl whisked her head towards the direction, the sky, the hill... Everything melted into night.

The pavement blanketed with snow. The murky, ebony sky. The familiar, gaping door. A grip on her arm returned her attention to the girl with her. "Alexa, I'm scared."

And then a creak reverberated. "Wha... No! Don't look!" She pulled her, covering her eyes with her hand.

And as she suspected, it's the same scene as that night.

"Look, what do we have here." Taking the man's grip off the neck of his brother's lifeless body, he march towards her. "My beautiful, genius Alexandria. My protege."

"..."

"Oh my, look at that blazing blue eyes you got from me." Touching her face, caressing her cheeks with his thumb.

"Don't touch me, you monster!" She brushed his bloody hands from her and tried pulling the girl behind her, only to hold onto air. When she look back, the child was nowhere to be found. "Where...Ump–!" The man grabbed her face and forced her eyes on his.

"Monster you said? Don't forget you and I are the same. You inherited everything from me, that's why I kept you alive."

His eyes. His dead, cold eyes took her own, as if gobbling her whole. She felt like running away. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. She want to, but she couldn't. She just stand in there horrifiedly, in front of the monster that hunts her almost every single night. Her monster.

"Me, your monster? Don't make me laugh! Aren't you a monster yourself? After all you..." Alexandria's eyes snapped open. Breathless. Drenched. Beads of cold sweat trickles down from her skin as she sit up.

No matter how many times she was visited with the same nightmare, she will never get used to it.

Knowing she won't get another blink of sleep, she rise from the beddings. She left the room for the balcony of the planetarium, bringing with her a small container from her purse.

Opening the small case, she took out one of the white sticks and pressed it's tip between her lips. After lighting it, she took a deep breath and puff a cloud of smoke.

The smoke swirls in the bleakness of the night, together with her dreary thoughts.

"Can't sleep?" She flinched from the unexpected deep voice. She's too caught up inside her head that she failed to feel the man enter the balcony.

"Well, kind of."

"I admit, your surprised face is quite entertaining." Lucifer smirked as he moves beside her.

"Yeah, yeah. As long as you're happy." Alexandria scoffs.

"I never knew you're fond of things like that. That brand isn't even available here." He glanced on the ember on her hand.

"Not really. It's more of a ritual." Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "They say that a stick of a cigarette can shorten the human lifespan by 11 minutes, if you know what I mean." Lucifer's forehead scrunches in comprehension of her so-called 'ritual'. She only laughed bitterly at his reaction.

"Don't be so irked. Or would you rather see me full of cuts and holes?" She took another puff off the smoke.

"It's really a surprise you're still... alive." A lump he couldn't really explain blocked his throat for a second.

"It sure is. I've tried throwing it away countless of times already when I was young. Until MC came to my life."

"But MC said you really hated her that time. I don't see any consistency with your stories."

"Really?" She look faraway before glancing back to the demon.

"And I see you're more open with me than with MC, are you not?" He smirked playfully.

"What a chatterbox..." She glance away for a second. "Let me tell you a tale instead."

"Dunno. I just felt you'll understand and won't judge me. Maybe you're my soulmate?" Hearing the word from the person herself taken Lucifer aback, which then earned a chuckle from Alexandria. "... or maybe not."

"I'm scared I might taint her if she learn my past. I want her to grow without any fear and guilt, to mature the way she is." She paused as if hesitating if she'll continue with the story, but she carry on after a few moments.

"Long time ago, there is an annoying idiot in a form of a young philanthropist, much like her family. One day, she and her family plans a month-long stay in an orphanage for fund-raising and to help in any way. There she met a crazy psycho, who have failed attempts of suicide and plans to hung herself in the forest without any interference. Of course she never knew about her plan, she's a big idiot after all." Cool breeze blew on the balcony, taking the ash of the cigarette between her fingers.

"Day after day she bugged her, hindering her plans again and again and again until the crazy psycho got tired and postpone her plans until the night the annoying idiot leave the orphanage." Lucifer looked at her through his peripheral vision, earning a huff from the lady.

"Finally the day comes. Minutes after the annoying idiot left the crazy psycho on the hill, she was called by a stranger. Since she is a big idiot of an unsuspecting naive, she ate a candy from the man and lost consciousness. The crazy psycho witnessed this and convinced the man of bringing her too. She followed the idiot without thinking. Miraculously, she saved the idiot unscathed. The idiot left the orphanage safely. The crazy psycho was adopted not long after. And the two never cut ties with each other again. The end... Or not."

That's weird... "So you're telling me you chose to live because you save her? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"

"Not really. More like her naivety and recklessness girl made me want to protect her. I... just can't leave that angel alone on her own. Without any assurance that she'll be fine." A conflicted face reflects on Lucifer's eyes. He could saw nothing but a suffering person... a damsel in distress.

Does he empathize with her since they're in similar situation? Or is her sorrow contagious? Either way, he couldn't help but feel her sufferings. His eyes couldn't leave her form at all, watching every gestures she make.

"Is it really hard to forgive yourself of the things you didn't even do?" Extinguishing what's left of her smoke, she looked at him.

"It's easy, if I'm truly innocent, that is." She gave him a bitter smile. "I am not."

She faced him. "My father commit suicide after killing my mother and siblings... The stranger kidnapped MC and I, who is in the right age to identify him. How come we are able to leave unscathed?" A pair of jaded blue orbs met his.

"My father didn't commit suicide... That stranger also didn't let us leave like it's nothing... I took their lives with my own hands. I killed them."

"... You?"

"I stabbed my father with the knife he used to my family and the stranger, I strangled him to the head rest with the rope I'm supposed to be using to myself. And I dumped him with his car on a nearby cliff."

The moonlight shines on them, reflected by a single teardrop forming on the corner of her eyes. The wind brushed her hair gently as the single tear rolled down her rosy cheeks, never to be followed with another one. Bitter smile never left her face. Her skin is like a porcelain, pristine and unblemished. It was as if she was an angel... A fallen angel, with tattered wings like he is.

"I am... a monster." She took his breath away. He witnessed it. He is captivated by an unbearably beautiful creature.

Before he knew it, he already reached out, replacing the wind from caressing her hair.

She flinch from his touch, as if a bashful mimosa folding and drooping from a light stimulus. She is too vulnerable at the moment. Should he continue with such gesture, she might indulge with it. She shouldn't. A monster like her doesn't deserve such kindness. And thus, Alexandria chose to step away from him.

"I-I told you everything. Then, I'll be taking my leave." A hasty bow is followed by her brisk walking. She grabbed the knob. I need to leave.

He didn't know why but he felt it. Her flame is waning.

If he let her be by herself again, he never knew what she will do with herself next. What if the next time he saw her, she'll be full of cuts? What if she'll be so injured she won't be able to leave her room? What if... What if the next time he saw her, she's not breathing anymore?

But that's not possible. She won't leave her sister alone.

And then her words awhile ago flashed his mind."I'm glad I can trust you and your brothers are to keep my sister safe. Thank you I could be at ease."

That's not only as an apology or gratitude. She's... entrusting her sister with us and planning to die soon?

A loud thud echoes off the balcony as the door return to its frame. She didn't close it. He did, as he wrap his free arm around her.

A bloody Alexandria. Pale. Cold. Lifeless.

That's not gonna happen. I won't permit it. I need something to suppress her from her self-destructive tendencies... Something concrete. Anything...

"...you have that indestructible bond with each other."

... I see...

"Let it be me..." The words left his lips. That's his answer, their indestructible bond— the pact that bind their souls together.

"W—What do you mean?" The confusion and and perplexity in her eyes didn't stop him. If he stop right there, tomorrow she might be there no more. It's now or never.

" Alexandria, I'll be your reason for living."

-------

It took so long ( like, reaaaally long (๑°౪≦)ゞ) but I posted it at last heehee. I revised it like tons of times until I'm satisfied. (I also did two short reads along with this cuz inspiration and it'll be a waste not to write it (~￣³￣)~

I learned my lesson. If I don't wanna rewrite the story, I should fix it until I'm satisfied or it'll pile up and It won't leave the back of my mind as ling as I haven't fix it.

And I never thought it'll be this long (maybe there's 2 chapters more)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

MASTERLIST

[wattpadscapcons]

5/75 (gave up 10 questions, looking for who else to pick)

Why did you decide to start a writing blog, if not secret? ;)

-Cookie

Another person? I thought you were just giving up 10 questions altogether to a single person. Could you please tell me who you chose or who accepted the personal questions prize from you? Just so I know, 'oh hey, they're allowed to do this bc of Cookie'.

Also I just did the math again, that should say 6/60 if you have not already given all ten questions away to someone. I know you may have added more as a sort of dramatic affect, but it is very important to keep track of. So really you should be up to 6 or 7/50. I know you've included 5 as your number for the last few asks, and it never seemed to increase because you happened to win the lucky prize.....several times in a row.

I still can't believe your precise timing, bc like, you hadn't planned that at all.

=

You can just read the highlighted sections if you don't like reading long complicated or sappy paragraphs.

I know someone already asked me this before, but I'll just go into more detail for the sakes of satiating your curiosity.

And to answer your question, I had no real reason to make this account other than the fact that I was upset with the lack of pregame Danganronpa content on the platform. I have added 15 of my own fics into that section of the fandom purely due to that, which in hindsight really wasn't helping. Because like, I know the whole "Well if no one's going to do it, I'll do it myself!" mentality is good and all but, these are all stories, to me, they aren't "new". The very fact that they are mine makes me sad, because I know very well that other people can write quality content for that side of the fandom and simply aren't, for whatever reason they have. I'm not even sure I'm really encouraging many writers to continue writing. I know one of my mutuals and two of my somewhat....writing idols do create content for the fandom. I have to regularly have to stop myself from pumping out content because I want their content to be show first. I can say I'm acting a little selfish in truth though, because I just want more content for this, it's become my obsessive comfort.

Another good reason that I often tell other people is that I want to improve my writing abilities, which is true, and thankfully, I have been improving quite a bit. I'm also doing what I always admired others for and in a way, that makes me proud, and in another way makes me understand further why writers set very specific boundaries for their works and community.

I have noticed that writing freely on the platform has become a vent for my own negative emotions, and while they don't always show through my writing, they're definitely there.

So, I was never looking to make a community for myself, never looking for some kind of popularity and following, that's all you guys. People stop by and say how much they love my writing and it's just....so weird to me. I've had so much negative stigma related to most of the art forms I created while growing older, and it's just almost unnatural for me to accept praise anymore. I honestly can't process it from strangers.

How do I feel about it? I would rather have it where people do not idolize me in any way or tell me that I'm the best in any shape or form. I take that as an insult to others including my mutuals and friends on the platform, who are as equally if not more talented at writing than me and deserve just as much praise for it.

Thanks for asking.